#ive been just waiting for a decade for something to happen to me but i seem to not die

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

In case it's hard to read/understand: "If I had a nickel for every time I had a story with a blonde girl named after a plant, who has a German father and a French mother but absolutely hates said mom, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."

weird, extremely-specific tropes in my stories: pt 1

[jukeydragon]

.

[spideysbruh]

rom com

@celebnews just tweeted- 'Best Part' starring Y/n L/n and Timothée Chalamet has begun filming! A romcom described as being in the same vein as 'When Harry Met Sally'. It apparently spans across a decade, following the pair as their relationship evolves.

@lauriesvest replied- BRO IVE BEEN WAITINGGGG

@wallowsyn replied- I am about to get so annoying...

@paulsmauddib replied- bro the premise sounds so cute 🥺 love romcoms

@y/n just tweeted- always wanted to be in a romcom!!! can't wait 🩷

@tchalamet replied- COUPLE ROMCOM LOVE LOVE ROMCOM

@y/n replied to @tchalamet- haha hell yeah man exactly

@upatnightyn replied to @yn- mind you they JUST met 💀😭😭

@thesedaysyn replied- she shares a lot on her instagram i can't waittttt to see their friendship 🥺😭

y/n just posted a story!

caption- hanging out 🫶

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- 😳😳

@ynstan just tweeted- WE'RE GONNA GET A KISS CAM SCENE !?!?!?!?!?!

@oceaneyesyn replied- OHHH IM SO FUCKING SEATEDDDDD

@romsyn replied- BRO WE'RE GETTING THE HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS OF OUR DECADE LETS

@kylesgoodgf replied- I wonder if itll happen on like their first date or later on 🤔 or is it even a date omg I NEED TO WATCH IT ALREADY

liked by tchalamet, billieeilish, and 3,177,848 others

y/n 🍂

view all 221,188 comments

sabxyn bro she's literally out of this world gorgeous omfg

artsyyn WHY IS SHE CRYING 🥺😭

readyn POST BTS PICS W YOU AND TIMOTHEEEE PLEASEEEE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEEE

tchalamet that's me !

y/n liked

fifteenminsyn omg he looks so happy in that picture I bet it's cause of yn 😏

liked by y/n, tchalamet and 5,276,388 others

bestpartmovie First look at Best Part

view all 321,377 comments

lookingatyn FUUUUCK THE MONOLOGUE. one thing about timmy is that he's gonna have the most romantic monologue of all time !!!!

popyn promo tour soon !?!?! CANT WAIT

laurieslaurence fuck this might end up being my all time fave of timmys...

liked by y/n, sza and 7,288,276 others

tchalamet some vibes. Best Part coming soon!!!!!!!!

view all 132,277 comments

chiyn omg so his character falls first AND falls harder i love it. i love when men yearn 😩😩

featheryn that last pic is gonna be their first kiss, watch!

y/n still cold from filming that last scene smh

tchalamet liked

tchalamet me too, maybe we should kiss to warm up?

y/n liked

soamericanyn NO WAY 💀💀

paulmauddibstan nah cause he's never flirted this OUTWARDLY w a co-star before 😭😭 bro is down bad

spideyyn bro took the movie too serious😩 me too though, y/n is a baddie !!

liked by tchalamet, florencepugh, rachelzegler and 5,288,928 others

y/n probably my favorite filming experience. best part!!!!!

view all 98,299 comments

livxyn I NEED INTERVIEWS NOWWW BTS ETC ETC

tchalamet mine too

peterparkyn yk you can just text her, right? 😭

ayoedebiri im simply too seated

@tchalupdates just tweeted- In an interview for his upcoming movie, Timothée described Y/n as "An elegant, captivating presence." and spoke about how they became very quick friends, "It's impossible to not like her, she's such a beautiful person, her optimism flows from her effortlessly. She's a very bubbly person, just always radiating positivity and kindness, which is always something that everyone needs."

@snoozeyn replied- mind you they asked him what their first scene together was.. 😭😭💀💀 down bad

@marvelyn replied- if they don't get married I'll kms

@lauriesvest replied to @marvelyn- bro their relationship isn't even confirmed yet 😭 (but I agree)

@bestpartyn replied- wow he rly fell in love during this, so when we see them fall in love in the movie thats REAL 🗣🗣 CALL ME DELUSIONAL IDC IDC

@ynupdates just tweeted- Y/n recently stated in an interview for 'Best Part' that Timothée is the best actor she's worked with, "Everything he does comes off of him so naturally. I admire his tenacity and his sunny disposition, how he's always so helpful- I can go on and on! But he's just the best. we had great camaraderie from day one and it's only enhanced since then."

@musicalyn replied- come right on me- I MEAN-

@smalltalkyn replied- "I can go on and on" oh we know girl 😭

@wonkasdune replied- fuuuck they're so cute 😭

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- captivating

liked by y/n, tchalamet and 7,288,276 others

bestpartmovie Some bts of our leads. Out today!

view all 231,287 others

obsessedyn ALREADY WATCHED IT, IT WAS AMAZING

bearyn there's a wedding ?!?!?!

romcomyn that first pic, they're so cute 🥺

paulsarrakis love how they're almost always constantly touching 🥺

dunepaul according to the bts video, the third pic was their first scene together 🥺 and between takes they would just talk and learn about eachother 😭😭😭😭😭🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

tasteyn they seem to really like each other 🥺

liked by tchalamet, billieeilish and 7,178,992 others

y/n rollout pics

comments on this post have been limited

tchalamet 💀💀💀

rachelzegler okay love that

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- 😩😩😩

liked by y/n, florencepugh and 8,827,377 others

tchalamet im gonna love her a long long time

view all 211,288 comments

tsgf FUCK

paultims wtf he cheated on me...

alltoyn OMGGGG

fuxkyn bro WHY she's literally so ugly

laurieslaurence bro you're delusional 😭

y/n my beautiful boy

ynscat she deserves this so much 🥺😭😭 her previous bfs have been.... horrible

y/n just posted a story!

caption- boyfriend reveal (real)

[neoflect]

sharing some of my disorganized jojo musical thoughts now that ive had a week to sit on it and ive rewatched it several times over. i intended to wait to publish something like this until a subtitled version was available, but im not seeing any indication that thats happening any time soon so for now youll have to deal with my loose interpretations from my extremely rudimentary and rusty japanese… so take what i have to say about the finer points of characterization with a grain of salt. gratuitous spoilers below obviously, both for the original source material and the changes made in the stage production

my feelings are OVERWHELMINGLY positive. of course there are things i can criticize or that i would have personally done differently but oh man… i have literally not thought about anything besides this fucking show for a week. im 100% confident in saying this is a better adaptation of the source material than the tv anime. sorry to the davidpro staff, i respect their hard work and their love for jojo and their dedication to what is by any metric a pretty difficult property to adapt off of the page, but i dont know if i can ever forgive them for leaving half of the first episode’s storyboard on the cutting room floor in order to fit a standard half-hour tv slot, especially considering that what they cut is some of the really crucial character-building stuff. happily those scenes are not only reproduced in the stage version, some of them are expanded upon!

with the quick disclaimer that i’ve only managed to get my hands on the final 4/14 performance with shotaro arisawa and yoshihisa higashiyama, from what i’ve seen the casting is perfect. i’m sure there’s a rip of the 4/13 performance somewhere (i’ve seen clips) but i haven’t been able to find one… every single performer knocks it out of the fucking park, the cast chemistry is incredible and even the minor characters are loaded with charisma. and mamoru miyano… my god… mamoru miyano i owe you an apology. i was not familiar with your game. of course hes been killing it for decades at this point but i had soured on him a little bit recently because i felt like he was overcast in everything and i just didnt connect with his dnt reinhard at all, so when the casting was initially announced back in august i was underwhelmed, and of course my standards for the dio role in particular were astronomically high… i’ll go more into detail later in the post because i have so so many things to say about dio’s characterization here but mamoru miyano’s performance is like, life-changing. i had impossible expectations and he exceeded them.

sorry if im gushing. i am a hater by nature. its unusual for me to be so thoroughly pleased with something. im not even a musical theater guy. these are strange new feelings for me.

just to balance things out i’ll talk about a couple of the things that didn’t really work for me: first of all, the music is just ok. my initial draft of this post called the music “bad” but three additional viewings later i have warmed up to some of the songs. i don’t know if this is a shortcoming by dove attia as the composer or if it’s just me, as i said i’m not a musical guy and a lot of the genre conventions of musical theatre are not really the things i look for in music that i enjoy, but like… even at their worst they are serviceable. nothing here is sonically unpleasant to me. high points are “resolve of the ripple” (zeppeli’s hamon training song, a jazzy swing number - it’s simply catchy and fun to listen to) and the closer “phantom blood” (a sweeping ballad that reprises the earlier “light and darkness”/”golden spirit” leitmotifs into an epic duet between jonathan and dio as they join hands and walk off into the darkness together… made me cry! i wont lie! on every single one of my numerous viewings this one got me misty eyed!)

wait i forgot this is supposed to be the part where i’m being critical. ok my most loathed song in the musical is “dio’s world”. sorry dio nation. it doesn’t really work for me. i think this might be a case of my standards/expectations being too impossibly high because it’s not even really the worst song in the whole thing. and of course miyano eats it up so it’s not really his fault. i just find it kind of underwhelming… i find the melody a little grating, it’s kind of just a generic rock number, it’s just missing a particular je ne sais quoi…. the essence of dio isn’t there… lyrically though i am obsessed with the premise of dio recruiting his minions by selling himself as a kind of social revolutionary who is upending and inverting the brutal hierarchy of post-industrial victorian society with zombie blood magic. you win some you lose some.

the second sticking point for me is the costumes. they’re perfectly serviceable… adequate… but i mean when it comes to jojo “serviceable” and “adequate” costume design obviously falls well below what’s expected, right? a lot of the outfits have kind of a boxy, almost flat-looking kind of unflattering fit on the actors, which if i wanted to be generous i could attribute to the challenge of bridging the gap between these frail slender musical theater twinks and the two-meter-tall 250lb roided-out beefcakes theyre meant to be embodying. (bearing this discrepancy in mind a lot of the insane martial arts stuff in the second act doesn’t really land with the oomph that it should, but i also understand logistically why this kind of casting is not practical, and all things considered i think shotaro arisawa does a really incredible job of embodying jonathan joestar even though he kind of looks like i could snap him in half over my knee like a twig. he’s very cute. so i’m not mad about it.) of course, again, logistically, i understand that in a stage musical production, where actors only have minutes to complete costume changes, some sacrifices have to be made to the creative vision in the name of practicality. nevertheless this is jojos bizarre adventure!! i want to see some fucking baubles!!!!!!

which is all to say that… after carefully considering it for some weeks… i still have extremely mixed feelings about dio’s grink ass feather bathrobe look. it’s not that i dont think its something he could wear (the concept of dio lounging around in his gothic vampire palace doing re-animator style body horror experiments on the local wildlife in this “officer i have no idea what happened to my husband”-ass nightgown is nothing short of hysterical to me) but then he wears it into combat and i felt a little disappointed… it has the same unflattering fit issue as the other outfits in the show, and it is just such an un-araki-like design… where are the gaudy color combinations? the bizarre geometric patterns? the tease of an exposed boob/thigh/midriff? erina gets a stage-original dress design that i have fewer issues with because the excessive pleats and ruffles have more of an araki-esque sensibility, but every time i look at dio’s robe it feels like there’s something missing.  i’m going to choose to be nice about it because it’s not at all a deal breaker and, again, mamoru miyano devours the look. it’s fine. it’s always fun to have a new dio outfit. if anything, the fact that the blu-rays are being marketed as “2024 cast version” gives me hope for the possibility of a future production with a new vision for the costume design. (although the fact that this was such a difficult production - with stunts and pyrotechnics and moving setpieces - that its entire first week was cancelled indicates to me that the prospects for a future production from a different company are impossibly slim. i guess there’s always hope?)

in terms of the writing and the changes that were made from the original narrative, honestly i don’t really have an issue with anything that was cut. sorry if there are any diehard stans of Poco’s Unnamed Sister out there who are steamed that their favorite minor late phantom blood character got the axe, i kind of understand how you feel because i’ve been malding over david pro cutting the Danny Lore for eleven years, but i think it was the right choice and the story flows so much better. the real juicy meat at the core of phantom blood as a narrative and the thing that brings it head and shoulders above so much of the rest of jjba is the character-driven drama - that deliciously pulpy victorian gothic family tragedy - and the relationship between jonathan and dio. the musical beefs up the character drama and slims down the action-driven second half by trimming out the extraneous battles. the only real downside i see to this is that the absence of tompetty and his prophecy makes zeppeli’s arc and death feel INSANELY abrupt, but tbf that’s not a deal breaker for me. sorry zeppeli. you were born to die.

okay. okay. i think 1500 words into the post is enough fucking around so let’s talk about the real reason why you and i both know we’re here

musical dio is SO fucking sad. he’s positively wretched, you guys. he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone and forced to eat cement when he was six. he cries even more than he does in the source material and even when he’s not crying he frequently delivers his lines as though he is moments away from bursting into tears. back when the musical first opened i was snooping on the reactions on jpn twitter and one commenter said they could see miyano’s tears and snot from the nosebleeds even without opera glasses, a remark i initially assumed was hyperbole but that i now think probably was not. araki’s dio is certainly tortured and a deeply pathetic crybaby beneath all the cruelty and posturing, but changes in the musical and miyano’s embodiment of the character bring this pathos to the fore. he is literally haunted: dario’s ghost lingers, a manifestation of all of dio’s traumas and insecurities that emerges from the recesses of his memory to taunt him with the reminder that he will always be his father’s son, all the way up until the very minute that jonathan breaks down the door to his vampire lair. i am OBSESSED with this - not only for the obvious reason that i delight in dio’s suffering personally but also because kong kuwata is a delight and he fucking kills it every time. also lends itself to a category 10 leitmotif moment at the top of the second act when dio emerges from the charred ruins of the joestar estate singing dario’s theme and calling out to jonathan - if i had to pinpoint this is probably the moment when this musical stuck for me as the Real Deal. they Get It.

the first solo number in the show is dio’s disney princess I Want song (amazingly, simply titled “dio”) where he weeps for his late mother and his wretched lot in life, and then - in a creative decision that made me clap my hands and hoot and holler at my screen in real life - there is a reprise of this number (delivered, naturally, through tears) when dio is almost arrested for murder and decides to become a vampire instead. so there’s this amazing hopeful uplifting inspirational orchestral music accompanying the onstage action of dio ruthlessly slaying jonathan’s dad and then getting pumped full of lead by a bunch of cops. it is brilliant. 10/10 no notes. it’s moments like this that i think really sell the “softening” of dio in the stage version for me, even though i am historically Not A Fan of fanworks that take a similar angle - like, yes, he is sad, but specifically he is narcissistically obsessed with the spectacle of his own suffering, he is boiling over with bitterness and rage for everyone around him who (by his own estimation) could never hope to have suffered as much as he has. this sensitivity and self-pity he wallows in are not expressions of a guilty conscience or a desire to change - they’re entirely the opposite - every cruel and monstrous deed dio commits is always justified to himself because he is simply the saddest little boy who has ever existed. he has been done wrong by the world and so there is no limit to the depravity he may reasonably respond with. i’ve seen several commenters describe this as a drastically different interpretation of the character from araki’s dio (and someone told me on twitter that mamoru miyano himself has also said this, but i cba to go digging for an actual source so take it with a grain of salt?), but i… dont think thats the case! dio’s obsession with his own weakness and his self-perception as the eternal underdog (as compared to jonathan) are certainly more exaggerated in miyano’s performance, but i don’t think this is an angle to the character that’s been manufactured out of whole cloth. the genre conventions of the stage musical force the melodrama up to eleven and dio’s incredibly repressed angst is the most rich vein to mine for that. hair-trigger sadist dio is still here, it’s the same guy, he’s still killing people mercilessly, you’re just getting to see him sing a big ballad about his feelings instead of confining those to an internal monologue.

if anything, the exaggeration of dio’s pathetic/cowardly/crybaby traits combined with his megalomaniacal aspirations and bottomless well of cruelty is just right. it’s perfect. fucking around, finding out, and then trying to weasel his way out of the consequences with crocodile tears just so you don’t see him drawing his knife to cut you clean open… yeah. thats the stuff. thats my one true blorbo. sad to say i will love him for ten thousand years.

i think that might be all i have to say… or at least all i feel like saying here… most likely ill come back and edit this post later. i certainly have some additional thoughts and some more esoteric/controversial takes but they’re not suited for a public blog. real ones will understand. im keeping my eyes peeled for somebody to translate this thing but to be frank i am kind of enjoying this little corner of fandom as it is right now: just the asians and the true hardcore phantom blood phreaks. i have not had this much fun in jojo fandom in almost a fucking decade. as soon as somebody publishes an english version my timelines going to get flooded with all the most deeply annoying “kono dio da” “speedwagon waifu” reddit guys and 15 year olds and my suffering will proceed. unfortunately this is my lot in life and i am doomed to be here forever because dio put a worm in my brain

[sillyyuserr]

Despite all i post about being terukane, i actually fucking love nene.

hence, 4 reasons why you should love nene too (+mini analysis at the end?)

Reason 1: shes cares so much

For one, when aoi was trapped in the far shore, not only did she cry, but so much so that even mentioning her name made her cry, like full on cry not even tear up. She let herself cry in a public infront of someone she deems ‘hottest guy in the school’ not really gaf cus she misses her bsf

And when she got aoi back, she didnt need aoi’s apology she just missed her, going in for an immediate hug, letting aoi tear up in her arms

At the end of the ‘picture perfect’ arc she thanked shijima mei for the painting, something no one else did

She asked what sumire saw in No. 6 to make her like him sm, again something only she did which caught hanako and sumire off guard

Reason 2: shes adorable.

idk how shes not as popular as aoi she’s actually so pretty. A moment of silence for our queen nene

Literally so gorgeous in anything she wears

Reason 3: She’s the mc, what are you doing NOT loving her??

shes the narrator, the character we’ve known the longest and are going to stick with until the end. How dare thee betray her and say she sucks? ‘She has a big forehead’ its called a hairstyle

‘she has big ankles’ yah and theyre cute. Its called having originality

‘copy and paste personality’ shes actually one of the more original mc’s ive seen in awhile. She isnt one of those girls who’re obsessed with just boys and makes that her whole personality, yes she does get crushes easily, but she’d rather die and lose the boy she actually has a chance with than let her bestfriend die. She has standards

Reason 4: shes cool as fuck?

she has a skull brooch, skull on her phone, horns ON HER PHONE, wears yin and yang hair pins, loves opera songs about forbidden love, loves scary stories, interested in supernaturals and the dead/ghosts and to top it all off, in the pilot she CURSED her ex to DEATH

FYM SHES MID??

tired and can’t think of anything else 😭 kinda starting to think chapter 113 IS the last chapter. I mean you’d think AidaIro would say something considering they’ve been making this manga for almost a decade now but the ‘sinister’ ending along with there being no ‘next chapter up on the 18th!’ Makes me kinda nervous 😭 as i said they’ve been doing this almost 10yrs no way they’d forget to put it there

AidaIro have publicly stated they both dislike/hate happy endings. And this i feel, is a perfect way to end it horribly. I absolutely hate the idea of this being an ending, but it would work out pretty smoothly in pissing off their entire fanbase. I mean theres so many unanswered questions and so many things left unsaid.

are teru and aoi really getting married? which yugi sibling is alive? will any of my previous ‘suspicions’ be definitively confirmed? what happened to hanako? what changed? whats happening with the clock keepers? what did natsuhiko do? what is sakuras role in this story?

this seems such a perfect way to end is so horribly😭 REALLY hope this isnt the case doh we’ll just have to wait and see. The topic strayed very far off from why you should love nene 😭 sorry lmao

[bestworstcase]

hello ive been combing through some of your rwby meta and a thought struck me in regards to this line you wrote when talking about the Maidens:

"the last spring maiden died under circumstances that have left raven emotionally shattered more than a decade later"

ive been thinking a lot about your theory of summer defecting to salem's side, and assuming thats true my thought was: did summer defect during her secret mission with raven and kill the spring maiden, all in front of raven?

raven was presumably close to the maiden based off conversations in v4, and we know that she portaled to Someone in the flashback(?) ruby saw in v9. i thought maybe it could've been qrow but tbh knowing rwby thats seems too easy of an answer, and maybe it couldve been vernal but for some reason I had been thinking vernal came post spring maiden's death.

though if summer DID defect on her own terms, while we dont know the woman and v9's whole thing was that ruby (maybe by extension the audience) had her on this pedestal, outright murdering someone that she once considered "on her side" might seem quite coldhearted for what little we do know. but it may also explain raven's fear of salem and her desire to stay the fuck out of her way, beyond just summer defecting. because if raven was close with summer like it seems like she was in that flashback, either at that point or in past because i'd think the abandoning yang thing would put a damper on good vibes, seeing your friend and teammate turn tail against everything you know and murder a child (?) would be uh, bothersome.

im new to the spinning my own thoughts game but thought i'd take a stab at rambling. cheers!

mumbles in all things must die

yeah i’m as close to 100% certain as it’s possible to be that the person on the other end of that portal was gretchen rainart the last spring maiden; i think the possibility that it might have been qrow on the grounds that we know raven has a link to him is an intentional red herring. (and if it was qrow, it would have had to be a case of raven using him as a fast-travel point without his awareness, a la in V5, because otherwise that would imply he lied through his teeth to ruby when she asked him if he knew anything about summer’s last mission in V7.) (similarly, vernal seems to be around cinder’s age if not younger—she would have been like, ten or eleven at the time.)

based on what summer says in the glimpse (“if i get this right”) and what’s said of the last spring maiden (that she was young and scared), i think the plan was for summer to confront salem alone, with raven and spring at a safe distance on escape duty: kindred link gives raven some way of knowing when her bonds are in danger, so if summer gets into trouble or things go wrong, raven opens a portal with spring there to fireball salem in the face (as cinder did to ruby at haven), hopefully buying enough time for raven to jump through, grab summer, and immediately portal back to spring. neither of them would’ve wanted the spring maiden anywhere near salem, and sending summer in “solo” gives raven’s emergency save the advantage of surprise. yeah?

but what i think happened is summer found salem, and salem—who at the time was not participating in ozpin’s war—intuited that summer wasn’t here under ozpin’s auspices, ergo did not fully trust ozpin and might be open to hearing salem’s side of the story. so instead of fighting back, salem let summer see that she couldn’t be killed and then started talking. and whatever she told summer was convincing enough to make summer want… some sort of proof. something more than the he-said-she-said to tell her who she could trust.

like, oh, say… maybe the relic of knowledge.

conveniently, she’s got raven waiting for her with the spring maiden, who can open the vault to retrieve the lamp.

so she signals raven by whatever means for a portal out, and then either recounts what salem told her honestly or comes up with some lie justifying why they need to get the lamp. (“summer rose, telling lies!” <- hm.)

i don’t buy the common assumption that raven and/or summer used the first question, because a) ozpin never shared jinn’s name with anyone, and b) if summer had learned it somehow prior to joining salem, salem would have already known the “password.”

what seems the most likely to me is that the three of them did sneak into haven academy, opened the vault, and figured out that the lamp had some kind of passphrase. at this point, summer and raven split on what to do. if summer told the truth about what she wanted the lamp for, perhaps she wanted to bring it to salem in exchange for more information and raven thought that was too risky wanted to go confront ozpin instead. if summer lied, maybe implying she needed the lamp to find a counter to some defense salem had against silver eyes, this would have been the moment the truth came out and i’d imagine raven would react badly.

into the mix of this very high-stakes disagreement, add summer’s obvious resentment of raven for leaving and raven’s equally obvious inferiority complex toward summer, and you have the perfect recipe for an emotionally volatile argument to get out of control and come to blows.

and, points at the ozlem girls. points at vernal. i think the spring maiden got caught in the crossfire and was fatally wounded taking a hit meant for raven, and then summer fled and left raven holding the bag. raven either mercy-killed spring to spare her an inevitable but slow and agonizing death, or just couldn’t do anything to save her; the magic passed to her, she sealed the lamp back in the vault, and then ran. i think this was when raven returned to the tribe, because she’d already burned a lot of bridges by leaving her family whereas summer was the ideal, the paragon, the perfect huntress—the good mother—so who the fuck would believe raven if she told them that the spring maiden, her charge, was dead because summer rose betrayed them all for salem and murdered her?

they already blamed raven for tearing team strq apart. if she’d gone back to ozpin with the spring maiden’s blood on her hands, she would have taken the fall for spring’s death—and quite likely summer’s, too, because summer rose was the best of us, the silver-eyed warrior, and what’s easier to believe? that your paragon of virtue and hope joined the enemy, or that the prickly ex-bandit everyone is still mad at for blowing up her relationship with tai and abandoning her daughter is telling an obvious lie to save her own skin?

meanwhile summer also can’t go back home because she did kill the spring maiden and really, catastrophic failed detour to corroborate salem’s story or not, she was salem’s from the minute she chose to listen to what salem had to say.

[andydrysdalerogers]

Yours Submissively ~ Dreams

Steve Rogers X OFC Isabella Davis

Summary: Five Years after the events of Civil War, Steve Rogers has moved on from avenging and has started his own business, Grant Inc. He has a secret that would turn his world upside down. And he's good at keep that secret. Until he meets the woman with violet eyes that could bring him to his knees. Now his mission is to make her, his. But she is the key that could bring the world into balance... or chaos.

And she has no idea.

Series Warnings: slow burn at the beginning, smut, angst, sexual themes of BDSM, dom/sub dynamics, kidnapping, loss of virginity, (and a bunch of others that will come up)

A/N: Its the penultimate chapter and I'm not ready to say goodbye to Steve and Belle. If you enjoyed this ride as much as I have, let me know.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Banners by me!

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

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It was bright.  So bright. Why is the room so bright, she thought. Belle lifted her hand to cover her eyes.  Wait, her arm didn’t smart from the IVs.  She looked down to see her arms cleared and her belly gone. “No!” She grasped at her flat stomach. She sat up and cried. This has to be a nightmare. No, no, I can’t leave them. She looked around for an exit.  She had to go back.  She found the door, but it was locked.  She looked for a window, but the room had none.  Then she noticed the posters and photos.  She was back in her childhood room. This is where she would spend eternity.  Trapped in a room she hadn’t been in, in almost a decade.  She curled up, knees to chest, arms wrapped around and began to cry.  She sobbed for what felt like hours. She died and left her babies. Her family.  Her Steve. 

“You are alive, don’t worry.”  

Belle couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She lifted her head. “Daddy?” 

“Hi, my sweet girl.”  Phil Coulson stood in front of her. “You look so grown-up Belle.”  

“Daddy,” she breathed.  She ran into his arms and Phil held his daughter tight. He could feel the sobs racking her body.  “I’m here my girl.  My sweet Belle.”  

Belle searched his eyes. “Daddy, how, why?” 

“You’re asleep my Belle.  You’re dreaming but I needed to see you.” He held her back to look her over. “Look at you. I’m so proud of the woman you have become Belle.”  

She chewed her lip.  The man in front of her knew about her past. “Even though I’m HYDRA?”  

Phil shook his head.  “Isabella, you have never been HYDRA. I don’t know why you think that.”  

“Because the Avengers had to assemble because of me and my heritage.”  

“No, they assembled because you are a family.  And family will always be there for you.”  Phil cupped his daughter’s cheek.  “You are their family.  And you have never been HYDRA.  Your parents sacrificed their lives to make sure that never happened.  I only took over what they started.”  

Belle absorbed his words.  She had never been HYDRA.  She knew that deep down but to hear him confirm it made it feel so real.  “Oh daddy, I’ve missed you.”  

“I’ve missed you too.”  

“You gave me the best life.”  

“I’m glad.  Even if I had to leave you earlier than I wanted. I’m so proud of you and everything you have accomplished.  I’m just sad I can’t be there, cheering you on.  Didn’t get to walk you down the aisle or meet my grandchildren.” His voice cracked a little at the mention of her past.   

“I wish you were there too.”  

“They are great though, Jamie and Lucy.  Beautiful and perfect.”  

“You saw them.”  

“I check in every once in a while.  Steve is going to be a great father.”  

“And are you ok?  With Steve I mean.”  

“If I had to pick the perfect man for you, he is the standard.  He treats you good, right?” 

“Like a queen.”  

“Good because you deserve it.  He really is everything I ever wanted for you.  But tell him something from me.”  She nodded.  “Tell him to let the shield go.  Its time. He’s a father now.  He doesn’t need to be Captain America anymore.”  

“He told me he would only be Captain America if his love was threatened.”  

“But I have a feeling that you and your children will be very safe with him.”  

After a few minutes of just holding his daughter, Phil cleared his throat.  “I’m sorry Belle, but it’s time for me to go.”  

“No, I don’t want you leave. Please don’t leave me again.”  

“Oh, baby girl, I know but I am always here with you.”  He pointed to her heart, “I’m right there.  Always have been.  I never left. You’re gonna be ok. But they need you.  My grandchildren need you.”  

Belle hugged her father tighter.  “I love you daddy.”  

Phil held on to her.  “I love you too my Belle.”  

The world started to blur and fade. Belle starts to hear cooing and a baby crying and she blinks to see Steve and Bucky cradling little bundles. She smiles but stays quiet as she hears the love of her life coo at the pink bundle, while Bucky made faces to a blue bundle.  

“You ain’t gonna tell me his name, punk?” 

“No, jerk, Belle wanted to say that herself. Isn’t that right Princess?” he cooed to the bundle of pink.  

“God, she looks just like her mama and he looks just like you, poor kid,” Bucky teased.  

Before Steve could say anything, they hear, “I think his daddy is handsome.”  

Steve turns around to see Belle smiling weakly at him. “Hi sweet pea.” He breathes a sigh of relief. He walked over and sat in the chair next to her but leaned over and kissed her forehead.  “You really need to stop doing that my love.”  

“What happened?” 

Steve frowned.  “The doctors nicked a blood vessel during the operation. It wasn’t a major artery, but it was enough blood for you to lose consciousness.  They got it under control, and they had to do a couple of transfusions but Dr. Lee said you would make a full recovery.”  

“How long?” 

“Two days.  You were moving and muttering so they had to sedate you.  But I’ve been here this whole time, along with Bucky and we’ve been taking care of the twins.  They are perfect.”  

“My babies,” she whispered.  She looked down at the bundle in his hands.  “My little girl.”  

“As soon as the doctors say its ok, you can hold them,” Steve explained.  “But for now,” he tilted the bundle so she could see her daughter, all pink and soft, with a head of blonde hair. She yawned when she was jostled and she opened her eyes, violet looking back at her momma.  

“Lucy,” she breathed.  Steve moved her so Belle could brush her lips onto her daughter’s forehead. “She smells so good.  She’s beautiful.”  

“Just like her momma,” Bucky said coming over with another bundle. “Got someone else who wants to meet you.”  

“Hi Bucky,” she giggled. Bucky held up the other bundle to get a glance at her son.  His eyes were already open and looking around.   His dark curls on his head were a beautiful contrast to the ocean blues that adorned his face. “My baby boy.  So handsome.”  

The doctor walked in just as she gave her son a kiss.  “Welcome back Mrs. Rogers.” 

“Dr. Lee, hi.”  

“I’m happy to see you awake.  I assume your husband told you what happened.”  Steve nodded as he rocked his new princess in his arms. “I’m so sorry it happened, really.”  

“I don’t want to talk about it.  I want to hold my children.” Belle glared at the woman who almost took her from her family.  

“Of course.  As long as Mr. Rogers can help, it should be fine.  I’ll be back to check on you.  The pediatrician Dr. Carr will be by in a few moments to do a check up on the twins.”  The woman moved to leave.  “Once again, I do apologize for everything.” She left and Belle rolled her eyes.  

“I want a different doctor,” she pouted.  Steve kissed her temple but before he could respond, Bucky interrupted.  

“Really Belle?” Bucky rolled his eyes. “She saved your life and the twins, and you want to be a brat.”  

“As soon as I can, I’m going to tell Ava that you love brussels sprouts.” Belle narrowed her eyes.  

“You wouldn’t.”  Bucky looked pain.  “Steve?” 

“Oh no.  You leave me out of this. Love, we will talk about this later, ok?” 

She nodded.  “Can I hold a baby now?” 

Steve smiled softly.  “Of course.” He put Lucy in her bassinet and helped Belle sit up gently.  He picked up his girl again with a kiss to her head. Belle opened her arms and Steve laid Lucy in her arms, taking a seat to help hold Lucy’s head.  

Belle looked at her daughter. “Hi princess.” Lucy obligated by opening her eyes.  “Bucky, this is Lucy Antonia Rogers, our princess.”  

Bucky smiled as he cradled the boy.  “And this little punk?” 

Belle smirked.  “James Phillip Rogers. Jamie.” She watched his eyes widen.  “Do not drop that baby.”  

“Jamie,” he breathed.  He looked down.  “Hi Jamie.” He looked back at his best friends.  “I’m honored.”  

“You should be jerk.” Steve quirked a smile. “You are the fourth most important person in my life, after these three. Its why you’re their godfather.”  

“I am?”  Belle could see Bucky’s eyes glass over. She nodded and Bucky looked back at his godson. He stared at his downy hair and blue eyes.  “This kid is gonna get all the ladies.”  

“Yeah, well, this little girl will have a lot of callers as well.”  

“Over my dead body,” Steve replied.  “She mentions a boy I’m locking her up.”  Bucky nodded his head in approval.  

“We shall see little one,” Belle said to her daughter.  

Belle was finally sent home after week in the hospital. As Bucky drove from the hospital with Steve in the front seat and Belle in the back with the twins, she couldn’t help but feel like it was all surreal. They had made it.  Past all of the lies, the danger, her heritage, his history.  They could finally be the family they were meant to be.  

All of the Avengers, her family, were waiting for to arrive, with Steve and Bucky each holding a carrier.  Everyone came to greet Belle until finally Tony cracked.  “I have to know names.”  

Belle looked blankly at Steve.  “Are we supposed to give them names?” 

“I thought they picked them themselves,” he deadpanned right back to her.  

“Its what I did as soon as I was old enough,” Belle fake whispered.  

“Please tell me that you’re not serious,” Tony looked between Belle and Steve.  

“Ok, not serious,” Belle smirked as Tony let out his breath and the rest of group laughed.  “Everyone, this is James Phillip and this is Lucy Antonia.”  

“Antonia?” Tony choked.  

“Yeah, we honored my dad and I wanted to honor the other.”  Belle’s eyes shined as she picked up Lucy to hand her to Tony.  

Tony cradled the little girl.  “Hi Lucy girl, I’m Uncle Tony.”  

As Bucky introduced his god son to everyone, Steve looped his arms around his girl.  “Are you happy my love?” 

Belle looked around, taking in her family and smiled.  

“Yes, sir.”  

Three months later… 

Please don’t wake up… just stay sleeping, Belle thought as she closed the door to the nursery.  She checked the video on her phone and the twins didn’t move.  She did a little dance as Steve came around the corner.  

“Are they asleep?” He whispered 

“At the same time,” she whispered. 

Steve quickly grabbed his wife and lifted her by her thighs, forcing her legs around his waist.  “What would you like to do first love?” 

“A bath. I want a bath so bad.”  

“Ok, bath it is.” Steve gave her a sweet kiss and carried her to their bathroom.  He sat her on the counter and started to get it ready for her.  

“Oh, I should mention that the bath has to have you in it as well,” she said with a cheeky smiled.  

Steve turned to look at her.  “I think that could be arranged sweet pea,” he said with a wink.  

They settled into their bath with the monitor close by.  Steve cradled his girl in his arms, running a soft sponge over her, pressing kisses when he could. “So beautiful,” he whispered.  

“Mmhmmm,” she groaned quietly.  “Feels so good Stevie.”  

“Better or worse?” as he let a hand trail down her body and in between her legs, softly stroking the outside of her folds. Her hips jerked up, rippling the water.  “Easy, baby, I know it’s been a while, so I’ll go slow.” He slipped a finger in, and she cried out.  

“Amore,” she whined.  

“Let me take care of you princess,” he whispered in her ear.  “I’ve missed you, my love.  So warm, so tight, so wet.”  He stroked her steady and firm, wanting to warm her up.  

“God, feels so good.” Belle could feel the fire starting to build in her body.  They hadn’t connected like this since before the twins.  She had needed to heal, then the twins needed them more.  But finally, finally, they were back to being husband and wife, Amore and Sweet Pea, Steve and Belle.  

“Tell me princess, tell me what you want Isabella,” Steve drew out her name with every syllable.  

“I want… I want to cum, Steve, please, sir.” Her body was vibrating with every stroke.  

Steve groaned when he heard his title that she used.  It had been a few months since they played.  He had been gentle since she was still in the early stages of her pregnancy.  He grew harder remembering she barely swollen belly and tits. He moved his wrist a little faster, feeling her start to tighten around his finger.  He slid in another and listened to her hitch her breath. He then slowed, chuckling at her huffs of frustration.  “First time I get you all to myself in months, sweet pea. Wanna make it last.”  

“Stevie, please. Been… so… long…” she moaned as he sped up. Steve curled his finger twice before she detonated around his fingers. Her back arched against him as she let the heat flow through every nerve point in her body.  She had misses this, his power over her. 

As soon as he brought her back to Earth, he pulled the water and lifted her into his arms. He took them back to their martial bed and laid her gently down. “I love you. So much. Happy anniversary.”  

“Happy anniversary amore mio.”  

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@sunnyhummingbee

@whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@peaceinourtime82

@kmc1989

@lokislady82

@saucy-sassy-sparkly

[royalwriteroftheuniverse]

Returning the Stones

1-the goodbye

Just incase 18+ theres fludd angst mentions of kissing implied intimate tons of sweet kissing and tears. Comments likes ans reblogging apprexitaed. No permission to repost anywhere else or to translate or to use in any ai story generator to finish it

I stood there as steve got his last good wishes from his team mates. I stood back watching tears in my eyes. I knew he only had a certain amount and im thinking back to the cinversariin we had after it was decided hed be the onky to return them

"Why do I feel like theres a but comming"

"There is" he took my hands, "sweeetheart even tho hank pym is back theres still that adjustment period everyone is going through and he csnt make more pym particles right now"

"Cant you wait? Time will always be there for you to return it?"

He took my palm, like he does when he's  nervous and subconsciouslybdraws the same patterns he always does when he looked down.

"Yes and no. You see the way that Strange explained it is that time will continue on  and yes and while we can wait the stones not being there is affecting us here and now as in the past they arent there.  I could wait but if simething happens," he swollows hard, "something to you. I cant lose you."

"Steve nothing is going to ha-"

"You dont know that!" Hw yells and i jumo back almsot in tears.

"Im sorry, I'm sorry I didnt mean to "

"Strange said something didnt he?"

Steve looked uo with tears in his eyes and nodded. 

"It doesn't mean it will but i can't bear the thought"

"And I can't live without"

"Neither can I, if Tony was here..."

"I know" I sob a bit  as he pulls me intk his chest and cries too "if tony easnt gone id kill him all iver again."

This garners a chuckle from Steve.

"She's your last stop isnt she?"

I looked up i could only see the side if his cheek really but it was like i could see him go pale.

Not for the reasons yoy think. When insaw in the care facility, i mean yiu saw her every time she didnt remeber me and she eas so ha-

"I know happy and thrilled and saying shes worry you didnt get to live a full happy life."

It hurt me too it was so sad seeing her, I mean seing anyone like that would be saddening. 

"I just want to tell her im ok and that I survived so she doesnt have those regrets and that...."

I pulled back a little and I whipesmone side of tears from my face and he whipped the other putting his hand on my chin and guiding it making sure I can't move away as he knows how scared and fearful i must me and he looked in my eyes .

"That l, I found the love of my life and I am so happy."

I let out a small chuckle with some tears.

"You know that right? That i love you. I love ypu more than anything. And ill always come back to you. Like a bad oenny you cant losemor that cat that never stopped following yoy home,"

On cue Midnight jumoed into our laps with a meow and using her head to burrow under steves tee for warmth like she always did garnering a laugh from both of us. I pulled away a but as steve took iut of hisnshirt and talked to her 

"Youll take care off mommy right?" 

"Take care of me why woukd she need to-" I statted bawling

"Oh honey no no no i didnt mean it oh no " he put Mid night down and grabbed me chuck and tight, so tiggt i almost coukdnt breathe. "Wrong words blvery wrong words. I meant if something haooened. Lets face it i don't have greay track records when it comes to saving the world. The first time i dissapeared for decades and I don't want that to happen my last time but im afraid of tha-"

"Last time?"

"Yea," he rubbed my arms comfortly "my last time, the world doesn need me not as much as you do. And i want to give thst life yoy want because i want it too. I see the longing in your eyes when yoy see a young couoke and a baby and i have the same in mine that wishing hoping dreaming. During these five years people havent needed me and ive been wnlanting to give it uo for a while now justtrying to figure out the best way to do it and yiu know ive been slowly limiting my cap duties."

I know,

I know yiu do. So after this i want to give you that. That family a real family a couoke of mini us's." He interlocked our fingers wispering "I hope to God they look like you".

I chuckled. "Once I return the stones uts you and me babe every day forever no interruptions. Ill be in that bed every day yoy wake uo and every night you go to sleep. Ill hold yiu hair back wvery morning sickness and yoy can try and break a finger or two or try to lift molojiner when youre giving birth."

That made me laugh

"Ill hadle the night and change every littke poopy diaper and we'll hold them together wheh they get thier shots and bad dreams. Ill help you kiss thier boo boos and scare away boyfriends"

Got thiee whole lives planned out hu?

Yiu betcha dolls and when they get marriednand have little ones of thier own ill hug them and then beat uo their husbands for doing thst my little girls "

I cracked up.

"Hey I will unless its done by oamossis no one is touching my daughters."

"You are too much"

He kisses my fore head and puts hair behind my ears,

"Yea well. Only the best for my family and if best means that i have to beat up thier husbands to out then in thier place so be it"

He rubbed my wedding band and engagement ring as we calmed down for a moment of silence. 

You know I would never give you either of these if my heart bekonged to someone else, in another time or place. This wasnt because i was never, " he losed his eyes and sighhned then ooened them stuck here. I was here to find you. I felt more for you then I did her even at first look - i almost proposed."

I know  i rememeber yoy did not try and cover well for that *i laughed*

"I tried"

"Yea so badly' I laughed and  ran my fingers through his hair.

"I grew it out for you, ya know"

"I know. I cant wait to see how blonde it was from when it was in the early days of the avengers"

He chuckled. 

"I love you," he wispered and kissed the bridge of my noise 

"I love you," he wispered  and and kissed my upper cheek.

"I love you," he wispered and kissed my lower cheek

"I love you," he wispered ad kissed the other cheek 

"I love you," he wispered and kissed my other cheek bone.

"I love you," he wispered and kissed my fore head.

"I love you," he wispered and kissed fhe right side of my upper neck.

"I love you," he wispered and kissed my lips.

"I love you," he wispered and kissed the left side of my upper neck.

"I love you," he wispered and kissed the middle of my neck.

"I love you," he wispered and kissed my lips so very deep that i almost lost my brrath. And that was how that night went. Him showing his love he knew he didnt have to prove it but he did he heled me and kissed me anddid everything he wanted to so to make sure he felt like he knew i knew he loved me and more. That was how last night went too. The last night before this trip. A trio that i knew would be mear seconds for me for for him it could be years. 

Then he walked over to me, he had tears in his eyes. Hia other team mates offered to come to help only ateve, i bruce and hank pim knew that wasnt possible. 6 vials. He had 6 and that was all. I was praying of somethin did go grong that last jump hed be able to grab more particles and get back to me. I also knew about the contingency they set up the older face the extra shield, just in case. So many just in cases. It meant to be steves way of dissapearing so we could live aort of loke clint and tony away from the spotlight and danger. 

He hugged me again, wispering in my eqr Ill be back in seconds my love and i love you so much," i felt a tear fall from his face onto mine

"Itll be only minutes babe, 60 minutes the most and youll be back in my arms." I gave him reassurance

"I  hope it works out like that nur every monute ill be thinking about getting back to you,"

He hugged me tightly. "I love you. And those seconds that pass here i told bucky to not let go of your hand,"

I chuckled.

"I know you. You need a hand and he wont let go. But if you two kiss i will kill him"

I laughed what?

"I just wanted to see that smile before i go"

Get your ass back here and ill give yku something to smile about tonight.

Oh is that a threat 

"Oh no that promise," I smiled wrapping my arms around his neck and we looked into eachothers eyes and then he kissed me. 

"This ring isnt leaving this chain and this chain isnt leaving my body"

"I know" 

He took my hand as he walked up to the platform and I followed. He took his stance snd gave me one of the deepest longest kisses hes ever given me. 

"I love you dont forget im waiting right here no matter what you do to retrurn those im here loving you forever. "

"I know I promise ill come back no matrer what i love you too much." 

Steve gave me one last kiss on my lips and then a kiss behind me ear making me giggle 

"I needed to see and hear that one last time."

I felt bucky take my hand and lead me down the strairs steves and my eyes never leaving eachother's. He looked at me as he put the helmet on  and I squeezed Bucky's hand as Steve lifted his hand to presse rhe vutton and bucky squeezed mine as Steve dissapeared.

After 45 seconds my hand let go of Bucky's  but Bucky bevee ler go of mine.

(Varient timeline endings comming)

Taglist

@nana1000night @whore-for-chris-evans @sparklybarbarianninja @patzammit @hawkeyes-queen @bookishtheaterlover7 (i know im miasing a few sry ill ads when i can find the name if u want to be added let me kno)

[cinnamonbunpuff]

omg guys it's my birthday today!! 19 years young 😎

i mean nothing rlly happens but it's just so crazy that ive been alive for almost two decades?? it's even more crazier bc i have friends who are 20 (and ive known them for half that time)

time is really just a large and weird concept to grasp bc it's there but not and it goes by so fast and yet it takes forever

it was nice that my birthday fell on a weekend cause my parents came up to visit yesterday and i got a lot of goodies today! but now it's drawing to a close and i need to wait yet another year. but that's okay!

lowkey ive grown to not really like celebrating or bringing attention to my birthday (even tho i want to still acknowledge the special day) just cause i dont like bringing attention to myself in the first place, or ppl giving me things (it should be the other way around, i should be helping others), so it's a little weird allowing myself to accept gifts for a day. even then, i still appreciate everything, because everyone took the time to give something that they thought i would care about (and i very much do) (i tried to hold back tears as my friends mentioned taking me somewhere this week, and as i saw what my mom got me smth ive been eyeing for a while).

sometimes i think about how october 27th to me is a different day because it marks the anniversary of when i was literally birthed into the world. there are also some who see the 27th as a special day to them. but for others, it was just another day in the month. kinda crazy to wrap my mind around sometimes

this year's quote is one that ive been using quite a bit but it's really meaningful to me. "throw yourself into the unknown, with pace and fury defiant" from achilles come down. first thing i heard as the clock struck midnight. i thought that it was fitting for this year, especially bc ive been going into a lot of new things recently (declaring my major soon, new research lab, new apartment) and it feels like im going into the future a lot, something that i anticipate but am scared to acknowledge bc it's not something i really imagined happening to me. but it is.

anyways thanks for reading my lil rant abt my birthday if you did <3

[the-kr8tor]

Ouch i just hurt myself.

Yknow how in the ending in TF where Reader choose to break the cycle.

Now think of this fae hobie is now hiding like an ordinary human-ish… now.

Reader is alive but they arent destined to fall in love, its not like it used to. And man does he feel the need to talk to her but he knows thats dangerous.

So he watches her from afar, being an admirer and writing notes to her. But downside is, he gets the hanaheki disease. Yknow the disease where in onesided love the victim coughs of petals. If their feelings are returned it goes away if not they die or get a surgery to remove all romantic feelings for them. But you see fae hobie just cant remove those feelings for her.

She couldve been the mother of his child (if not for the fucking stupid bit-) more then that too. She was the love of his life and always has and will be. In each life she had and each life she will always have.

Itd be interesting to see a fae with hanaheki disease and id be curious to how it could affect them differently then humans. Or what would happen if hobie did choose to talk to her and break the bounds of what had happened?… what if he interwined their lifes again.

This could be really angsty and i dont like the thought ofnit so katy you can suffer with it too. And its just cause ive been thinking about the hanaheki disease recently and how if it was a real disease. ID BE FUCKING DEAD.

Id be dead ass hell if the hanaheki disease existed ngl😭

DOUBLE OOF 😣

R being reincarnated again after everything must've hit him HARD like imagine him avenging her and he's just so tired after decades of fighting and he comes back to our world and he just sees her out and about and he knows it's her, different soul, different face but he just knows

And him getting hanaheki disease is completely plausible (for him) bc he's fae and there's already vines growing under his skin. It's not completely impossible for it to start growing in his organs bc his longing manifested into something that physically hurt him. He'd probably just go back to his abode and lie down next to where he last lay down the very last cursed R and just wait for the flowers to consume him inside out

The mere mention of hanaheki flung me back in time when I read that trope a lot lol

[tohellandback99]

People on the internet with DID can address themselves as however the fuck they want, and say what they need to say, HOWEVER THEY NEED TO, when they NEED, on the fucking internet.

(Since I’ve been misconstrued once with this post; to be completely transparent, this was in the DID subreddit where people are usually very supportive since it’s run by people with DID, for people with DID. Not Fake Disorder Cringe, or any other subreddit that is designed to target and make fun of people. And if you think this isn’t worthy of saying something. I didn’t say this to change THEIR minds, I made this so that other people with DID who see shit like that can see that I see it. Can see that not everyone thinks that. No matter how many people don’t find this it is still worth it and so maybe somebody who might’ve felt discouraged about speaking because of a post like that would be more comfortable in our community if I said, “hey, I don’t think this is okay.” No, if I can defend anyone in the DID community no matter how many people, all who have not done anything to warrant the bullshit, I’m not going to shut my mouth and wait for someone to get seriously hurt by ANY of these miserable ass fucks to then only once have something to say for clout when shit really hits the fan and someone dies.)

Some asshole on Reddit (are we surprised) said that they have an issue with people who make videos on their OWN experience with DID because apparently. According to their “genius” idea of what people who have DID’s needs are, THINKS that just because it’s a fundamentally invisible disorder that (for me personally really just,) relies on the fact that no one will see multiple people in one person as a child and beyond, and because it’s initially that way to protect the brain and body, somehow means that we (you and me and anyone ever who has and has talked about DID,) should all just not speak apparently. And they specified people making videos as if that makes their idea any better. Trauma disorders are not taken seriously enough that we have people IN or COMING IN to the community to say shit that basically means, “shut up about your DID,” and they will die on the hill. Hoping, dying to know! that it was “something wrong with the person,” and not the perpetrator(s) who caused it.

and people with DID on there fucking AGREED with this! Ive seen people discussing their Autism who got this SAME thing happen, and there was pushback for GOOD reason because why on earth do you think you have any credibility to control the narrative of people who live with autism? Likewise DID? You don’t care about what people with DID ACTUALLY need you just want to control people and everyone somehow fell for it somehow. Wow. Just because you took a psych class doesn’t mean you are suddenly an expert on what people with DID need and “should be doing.” This idea that people are supposed to just “be quiet” about anything that makes people uncomfortable, perpetuates controversy and doesn’t actually fix misinformation that’s really out there. It is just a censorship towards those who DO have DID, not doctors who perform malpractice or spread lies about people with DID, and it doesn’t help anyone who IS malingering. If no one with properly looked at and/or diagnosed DID can speak then how the fuck can we have access to resources that can help us? Trauma and dissociative disorders have been linked to people who use it to spread disgusting propaganda and so has been ignored and dismissed, for decades now. This person and lots of people, don’t say anything about THESE people, who have actually spread misinformation. This person specifically didn’t say anything about the people who clearly and/or evidently malinger online, literally nothing but about people who actually have and have to live with DID which is insane and regressive. They pointed out that it’s weird to them for you to share about your DID experience because it’s meant to protect you. Then how is anyone supposed to get help for it then if they can’t talk about it? I had a therapist say this shit to me as if that’s not what I was there for, and THIS person, who was in the DID subreddit was saying the exact same thing. Simply sharing about a DISABILITY has nothing to do with giving up protection. Yes it’s a vulnerable thing to do, but why does that mean that it’s somehow wrong or bad? Is a person with DID just not allowed to be on the internet then? cause that’s what you’re saying. DID is unpredictable and you cannot turn it off. As long as the person IS a system that IS actively protecting itselves and takes the precautions that great people who fucking talk about their experiences with DID online use, having DID and talking about it has little to no bearing in how the internal system operates any more than anyone else who’s sharing anything personal on the fucking internet. I think strongly, that this is just an excuse to not give a shit about people who have DID and it is a disingenuous statement.

About the addressing alters thing… ehh. Someone was mad that people called their own alters, “alters.” The technical term, which has no bearing on what they themselves choose to call people in their system. And they wanted people to say from now onnn…. People? I think. Which I use interchangeably with the term “alter” depending on how I need to speak about these things. I welcome and love different perspectives of the self and I don’t have a problem with what they want for themselves. The problem that I have with this is that Nobody with DID signed up to use whatever terms on themselves that other people want for themselves when they walk into a room at any given moment. I’m not a therapist

(They still haven’t restored my two posts on there that were removed for some reason by the mods, not because I broke any guidelines or mentioned anyone specifically or anything that would imply that I was but apparently that doesn’t matter over there… *sigh* I did not want to have to talk about it on here, I do not want my posts to just be full of rants and things about DID. It’s just this is SO important

Update; they just completely ignored and refused to put my posts back up and did not respond for another week now after I gave my clear and simple response to their questions of why I posted it. What do they want me to beg like I’m some lost little puppy dog? I didn’t even do anything and they even told me that. lol I’m not going to fucking chase them 😂)

[thelunadiviner]

i was tagged by @renegadeem DAYS ago (sowwy for how late this is!) so... it is time!

"9 people you want to get to know better"

3 ships:

valenwind--i mean... come on LOL this one has been with me since i was 11 or 12 (over a decade now!). extremely foundational and, even when i wasn't actively into FF7, has been on my mind ever since i played the game years ago. something something red and blue gays, something something dark hair and blonde hair, something something short and tall. they just fulfill so many good "tropes" and also god i just like these characters SO much its unbelievable. i cannot wait for (what i hope is) the sheer amount of screenshots and screen records of the third part of FF7:R when they are PLAYABLE. the party banter... oh lord...

VKaz--ok... so i am actually a massive Metal Gear Solid fan. i got into it around-ish the same time as i got into FF7 and wow did it change my brain chemistry. there are a few MGS ships that are bone deep in me, but VKaz does something else to me. its blinding. its visceral. its like... wow. it doesn't help that Kaz is probably my favorite character in the game and Venom is sooooo. yeah. cute... idk! but i could probably talk about these guys for literally hours. and it would be incomprehensible. ik this is my squeenix blog but if anyone ever wants to talk MGS with me...

tie (sorry LOL) between akusai and stakhemy--those are so so so different but whatever LOL. akusai is also ages old, one of my first ships. i actually used to be much more into xemsai but akusai has taken the reins. KH is also a decade+ interest of mine (my late childhood/early teen trifecta was KH, FF7, and MGS) so i have so much to say... also i think i am in love with Saix lowkey. now, stakhemy is a new one and much more niche (any Pathologic fans?). i made one of the best character/ship spotify playlists ever for those guys. whenever i think of Rubin i become a little ill. i just find them so fascinating (Patho is super interesting on its own anyways).

first ship: whoooo boy. probably Link/Sheik? LoZ was like. my first ever THING i got into. i used to play pretend in my yard wearing a green tunic and a green santa hat i cut the puff off of to live out my Twilight Princess Link dreams. if not Link/Sheik, then probably xemsai.

last song: Respite On The Spitalfields by Ghost (on a massive Ghost kick because of a friend, its all ive been listening to... my favorite by them is Twenties and/or I Believe)

last TV show: i just watched the 5th episode of Interview with the Vampire this morning with a bestie, but the last show i finished was True Detective season 1 (for the 2nd time... i'm obsessed.. i have a sideblog...)

currently reading: i have been trying to finish Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman for over a year atp but 1. i am a slow ass reader, 2. i started it over already, 3. something sad happened so i got discouraged, 4. im so busy and am trying to learn to get better about reading (ADHD moment)

currently eating: nothing atm but i did have a creme brulee cream puff from one of my fav bakeries (shouldn't have spent the money but my name change court hearing was a success so i celebrated <3)

currently craving: im always craving something i love food LOL honestly the first thing that came into my head was a smoothie... but i also love all Asian cuisine and there's this amazing place nearby that has a bomb Pad See-Ew

thank you sm for tagging me!! i cannot think of anyone really to tag atm so i'll probably come back and do that later when i'm less busy.

[lovezbrownies]

lil idea ive been playing with recently :3 pls tell me if u want more!

Luminia was your nation, your sanctuary—a land of sprawling valleys, shimmering rivers, and resilient people bound by a shared history of triumph and sacrifice. As royalty, you were born into the role of protector and steward, a responsibility written into your very blood. Yet for much of your life, that duty had felt distant, a shadow on the horizon. Your father, King Finley Sutri IX, had made sure of that. He had shouldered the burdens of the crown entirely, shielding you from its crushing weight and instead lavishing you with affection. You were his cherished only child, a light in his life after losing his beloved spouse—your other parent—to assassination when you were just an infant. His love had been fierce, protective, and unrelenting, but even he couldn’t hold back the inevitable.

Your father was gone. The illness that had plagued him for decades had finally claimed him, cutting his life short at the age of forty-nine. The memory of his last moments still haunted you, vivid and raw. His labored breaths echoed in your ears, his once-strong hands limp and cool as you held them tightly, willing him to stay. He had always been larger than life to you, a figure of unshakable strength and wisdom. To see him diminished, frail, and mortal had shattered something deep within you. And now, without warning, you were expected to fill the void he left behind. There was no time to mourn, no space to process the gaping loss. The court was relentless, shoving you forward, preparing you to take a throne you weren’t ready for.

The coronation hall loomed around you, grand and imposing, its vaulted ceilings and intricate stained glass casting shifting colors across the room. What had once felt majestic now seemed suffocating, the grandeur pressing down on you like an iron weight. Rows of nobles lined the walls, their gazes sharp and expectant. Beyond the palace, the people of Luminia waited with bated breath, looking to you to be their beacon of hope. The High Priestess stood before you, her hands steady despite the tension thick in the air. The crown—a masterpiece of gold and jewels, the symbol of your father’s reign—hovered mere inches above your head. The moment felt unreal, like a dream teetering on the edge of a nightmare. Your pulse thundered in your ears, your lungs struggling to draw a full breath.

Then, the unthinkable happened.

The whistle of a spear slicing through the air shattered the fragile stillness. Gasps rippled through the chamber as the weapon struck with deadly precision, piercing the crown and pinning it to the rich crimson carpet at your feet. The sound of metal on stone reverberated through the hall, sharp and final. For a moment, time seemed to stop. Your mind reeled, struggling to process the attack, while the crowd erupted into chaos around you. Instinctively, you turned, your body stiff with fear and disbelief, searching for the source of the treachery.

And there she stood. Aris. Your knight. Your protector. Your lover. The woman you trusted above all others. Her posture was rigid, her gleaming armor catching the flickering light of the grand hall. Her face, once so warm and tender, was now a mask of determination, her black eyes hard and unyielding. In her hand was the spear, still vibrating faintly from the force of her throw. A lump formed in your throat as her gaze met yours, a storm of emotions flashing briefly before she hardened once more.

Her voice rang out clear and steady, each word slicing through your heart. "I'm sorry," she said, her tone devoid of hesitation but not entirely without regret. "But I did not fight, bleed, and sacrifice everything for this kingdom just to see a spoiled brat take the throne. The crown belongs to the Adonis. And to the Adonis, it shall return." Her words hung in the air like a death knell, heavy with betrayal.

[babysgarage]

i've vaguely gone 'it was bc of that damn phone' enough times lately that i kinda feel the need to elaborate

i'm mostly writing this down to help myself remember it but maybe someone else gains something useful from it. ok so a while back my then-therapist told me to try to go a full day without my phone, tv or music (and at the time i was literally at home all day doing nothing bc i didnt have mandatory classes so you can imagine) here's how it went

first of all, spending so much time in silence makes you realize how fucking long 5 minutes actually is and that singlehandedly cured me from being a 'i have an appointment at 4pm so i can't do shit all day' type of person

around a minute of silence in, my brain started playing random songs and soundbites on a loop

about 5-10 minutes in, all the tasks i've been avoiding or ignoring came into the forefront and suddenly i was strikingly aware of the areas that needed tidying up or dusting bc it was no longer just background visuals to me so i started automatically doing that shit without thinking like i was a sim being controlled when it usually takes me days/weeks to gather the willpower to do it

and when i don't immediately jump to doing tasks in the first 5 minutes i actually just feel my entire body become calmer and picking my phone back up feels like a literal strain on my brain and eyeballs

the most mindblowing thing that happened is that when i started going 'no screen no music' omv to my morning classes i actually managed to pay attention in class for the entire 2 hours instead of zoning out after 10 minutes like i've done for a literal decade before

i got my attention span back for reading too, but a bit of that might just be due to a lack of uni stress nowadays

it also made me kind of better at recognizing when i was actually using my phone like a dopamine slot machine instead of actually enjoying whatever i was scrolling thru which made it easier to go to whatever i was actually craving or to just put the damn thing down

so nowadays when i have a lot of tasks i'm ignoring i put my phone in a drawer and wait for myself to automatically start doing shit and tbh it usually works

sometimes i come up with solutions to problems ive been ignoring for literal years bc i don't have a stimulus to distract myself with as soon as the discomfort of thinking about that problem arises

unfortunately after about an hour or two i start craving the damn phone again and it feels like a thousand ants crawling inside your skull until i pick it up

* disclaimer: i haven't been officially diagnosed with adhd or executive dysfunction so idk how this approach would go for someone who is, i can say the effectiveness may slightly vary depending on which stage of new blorbo posting you might be at the moment. like there are times where i have no problem starting at the wall for an hour without moving bc i'm daydreams about fictional characters kissing but i have noticed that music does help prolong the daydreaming time so it still kinda works

[bibiana112]

HIIII ive seen you mention your ztd aftermath fic a few times in tags and id rly like to know more... feel free to yap about it im curious

Hiii hellooo SO!!! Something that always sticks out to me with fics that touch a little on the immediate post ztd reactions is that things just kind of sort themselves out and everyone chills out for a little bit which I cannot see happening like no wayyy it's okay for the purposes of other people's fics but personally I'm a staunch believer in effort going into the smallest things in life especially when it involves a group of people and especially when you're fucked up as they'd be after that and it's something I love exploring in my writings like expanding in gross detail on the more mundane ups and downs between all the high stakes stuff like I don't think they'd walk out of there working in harmony at allll there'd be so many factors going into how everyone would be thinking and how they'd interact with each other and how the lives they've lead would inform the new trauma after that and how each of them would react to their immediate circumstances like on a physical level

I mean. Diana is completely new to any of this stuff and she's supposed to just transition seamlessly into a sudden new commited relationship and a daughter her own age? Phi has not gotten a single break since she experienced the events of vlr and has a whole complex about where she comes from and she's supposed to feel uncomplicated joy at finding out these are her parents and that the motherfucker that made the virus that's been making her life hell for a week is related to her? It's just been one week for her and that's so long but so little too she'd still have a connection to most of her old life? That shit isn't true about Sigma what's he supposed to do since Akane lied to his face about not knowing what happened at the test site for decades? It's not even something she remembers doing to him but he remembers spending a lifetime with her I love the ztd booklet scene of them interacting during d-com he asks Akane not to let her future self lie to past him point blank and she just says what he wants to hear and Phi stands in silence like she can't wrap her head around why he thinks for even a second that she'd be honest about being honest but stil extending enough goodwill to silently wait and see if she will. the man would be having a whole crisis of faith

Where do they leave Sean? Should he just stay with Q-team wouldn't he need maintenance and therefore stay in contact at least with Sigma? Eric doesn't remember much so he'd shockingly be one of the most calm people there, he'd have to deal with some revelations but Sean informed them of it in a good enough way that he seemed to take it well enough and even if that's not true he's the most high masking mf of the entire cast he wouldn't let himself step on other people's toes, if anything he'd only be set off by how everyone would have something to hold against Mira now, she kills everyone once except Carlos and Akane and she doesn't remember but they do, in fact there being a serial killer in their midst memo never gets to c-team delta never tells the whole snail story to every team. Would Mira just turn herself in without any resistance? Wouldn't someone have to talk her into it or at least make sure that's what she's really going to do since the stakes are so high? It's her fucking fault rad-6 got out too the characters have no reason to trust she's just gonna beeline to a police station. Carlos would probably be fine for the most part but he wouldn't be around long to keep everyone else sane especially Junpei and Akane because he'd probably go check on Maria as soon as possible especially since we're led to believe avoiding the apocalypse helps her recover

Akane herself would be all sorts of fucked up about it, there'd be so much pressure on her by everyone there and she'd try to be forward thinking and work on the extremist stuff immediately without processing anything and overcompensate the new recent failure to foresee dange and her revictimization by being even more controlling and inconsiderate to the others which is an energy Junpei would match I think especially going off his enneagram they'd be immediatly set in like an unhealthy loop of behaviors that push each other's trauma buttons on accident until they're hurting cause they're both trying to rush things and put each other in idealized boxes they imagined and having things their way Junpei is gonna come off much worse probably cause he's not a pov character and he's canonically an underhanded asshole when he has reson to be and he would not trust akane or her brother wouldn't be trying to pull another fast one on him so soon especially if we assume he has restored memories of the c-team ending too he'd like get keyed up and paranoid of being away from her for even a second

There are so many logistics involved in transporting and keeping in contact with people while simultaneously making sure no one leaks any sensitive information and that's probably important for Crash Keys and would fall mostly on Aoi to keep track of but he would in my opinion not be doing very okay either be it out of separation anxiety a level of psychically feeling like shit because of what akane goes through or just stress from preparing for an apocalypse more likely all of the above lol And he'd be working with half the info everyone else has cause if Akane doesn't pace herself in passing the new info to him he's gonna snap

Like I don't think these issues would be a slow burn to boil over, I think everything would feel like it's all going wrong from the get go and that kind of stress can be palpable in a group setting even if they're not under direct threath of death anymore I mean that's what ptsd is it's when you get fight or flight or freeze levels of fear in an entirely safe environment due to perceived instability and then they'd eat and rest and deal with it better for the next day, be more functional and levelheaded about everything going forward and even perhaps apologize and help each other out, and they'd be like that for a good while until underlying issues start to surface again in individual relationships cough mostly the junepei cough

[jakowskis]

Day 1 - How did you first get into Torchwood?

fdhkf ok ok so basically. i do not remember exactly what happened. this happens to me often like i can never remember what i came across that first got me into the media. with torchwood i at least know it was the fact that everyone was bi, but i dont rmr if i saw a post about it, or if i was fucking around on tvtropes or something - i legit cannot remember. i remember seeing a gifset of gay torchwood kisses p early on, but i dont think that was like the inciting incident? that mighta come about when i was doing research into the alleged fruitiness FHSJDFKDS. i do know i've been aware of jack as a character for at least a decade, like i'd heard of the harkness test + i was aware that he was 'that slutty doctor who guy', and also, coincidentally, in the fandom i was in in 2015, someone wrote a crossover fic where my fav slept with jack and ianto and i read it 😭 had no idea who they were, i hopefully at least googled them but fhsdjkf. but anyway i was like 'ooh a show with an all bisexual cast? color me intrigued.' i'd never touched dw either, i had friends who liked it when i was in middle school but i always saw it as kinda dorky fhsdkj (namely cuz my friends were dorks), but yeah, i was reeled in by the concept of sci-fi bisexuals. but not fully! it was in like 'yeah ill put that on my watchlist and get around to it in 2 yrs' territory

but then, as im looking into it, i realize owen's played by burn gorman, who i only knew from pac rim, which i'd fixated on briefly in 2018, riiiight before pru came out. my pr fixation p much revolved entirely around newt; i liked newmann, but i didn't get super into it. hermann himself was kind of an afterthought, i wasn't big on him at the time. anyway i saw owen and recognized hermann's actor, and my initial reaction was like "WHAT DO U MEAN HERMANN FUCKING GOTTLIEB'S IN THE SLUTTY BISEXUAL SHOW??? THIS I MUST SEE! HERMANN GOTTLIEB KISS MEN REAL NOT CLICKBAIT?!?!?!!??" and that was literally the thing that made me watch it. LAWL and the first few eps were so damn jarring bc i continued to just associate owen with hermann initially. and worse yet, ive now developed a hefty crush on burn himself lmao, i think he's gorg and ive watched a lot of his stuff, but before i got into torchwood i only knew him from PR and i didnt find hermann attractive or even rlly compelling in the slightest (this has changed significantly; im in my hermann era as a pr fan. newt who). so it was also a lot of "WTF WHY IS HE HOT??? HUH???? DUDE NO WAY." it's since lost its novelty, but it was very jarring + amusing to me at first, trying to reconcile owen n hermann. its like if u ran into ur frumpy weird professor at leather night and he was the twink of ur dreams FDSKJFHDSKJFDSK

yeah so then i watched the show and it fucking smacked me over the head with a shovel bc its so fucking bad but its so fucking good. and very quickly my view of owen went from "wait a mf second why is not-hermann kind of 🫦 hiii mean slutty hermann hiii" to "wait. oh hes fucked up. oh hes sad. oh no i love him" to him being my third favorite character of all time. fff. but more on that tomorrow! hehehehe