#ive always been that kid who enjoyed all subjects in school and were good at all of them. ive also been a highly artsy and creative one | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

floralseokjin · 4 years

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⤑ made-up love song ii.

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher living with your best friend, and have never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire.

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual smut, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, things are heating up! the phrase ‘dilf dick’ gets thrown around way too much, RJ and taehyung cameo, hoseok, yoongi and namjoon are mentioned, as well as jungkook if you squint words; 12,169

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)

After Seokjin dropped you off at the station, he and Arin waving you goodbye, it would be two weeks later when you saw him again. Not that you were holding out on it or anything… No way… That would be ludicrous.

The last week of school was always hectic, activities and games top priority now that teaching had come to a standstill. The children were hyper, the teacher’s worn out, but without fail you always looked forward to the summer fate. Head of the committee every year, you and a handful of your fellow teachers organised each game, each stall and each prize. As well as wanting the children to have fun, it was also an opportunity to celebrate their achievements throughout the year with their families. There were an arrange of awards for most subjects, third through to first place for each grade, and this year you’d convinced the principal, Mr. Jung, to include a new creative writing award. It wasn’t technically a subject – you already had the spelling bee for English class, but he’d thought it was a great idea to celebrate the students’ talents in a brand new way.

Of course, there was one child you had in mind when you’d gone to him with the idea – Arin. It was only fair in your eyes, she’d been with you not even three months and hadn’t had a chance like the other kids. The other awards were spoken for but you wanted her to at least get something, just so first grade could end on a good note for her and help her look forward to September.

You were at the entrance of the fate, in casual conversation with Mrs. Jeon as well as greeting the students’ families, when you caught a glimpse of Seokjin. He was hand in hand with Arin who skipped happily beside him. He was wearing a sea green thin sweater, that blew in the light breeze, and black jeans. He was even in sneakers. Way more unbelievable than the slippers. He looked effortlessly good, and you thought you preferred him like this, casually dressed. The suits were great yes, but he looked far more attainable like this. Not that you wanted to attain him.

Damn it.

You tried your best to ignore the strange heat that had seemed to settle in your chest at the sight of him, the faintest flurry of what could only be described as butterflies aggravating your stomach. What the hell? What was wrong with you?

“Hello, Miss.” Arin grinned, giving you a small wave, and you shook yourself out of it.

“Hi, Arin,” you waved back, of course catching Seokjin’s eyes in the process.

“Miss. Y/L/N,” he greeted, the hint of a smirk across his mouth. Teasing, again. Two could play at that game.

“Mr. Kim,” you replied, unable to keep a straight face – especially when you heard him laugh as he passed by you.

You watched him walk off, secretly pleased now that you knew he was here. You wouldn’t admit it out loud, wouldn’t dare tell anyone, but you’d been hoping he’d be free to attend the fate. To see Arin receive her reward, of course – nothing else. But, okay, maybe you had spent an embarrassingly long time choosing which dress to wear last night. Not that you wanted to impress him, more like… stand out.

“Who is he?” Mrs. Jeon whispered animatedly – hopefully out of earshot and once again knocking some sense back into you.

You tried to sound casual, like you weren’t aware of Seokjin’s jaw-dropping good looks – or more so, that they didn’t affect you whatsoever. “A student’s father.”

She made a noise of disbelief. “He is just pure… sex on legs.”

“Eunbi!” You exclaimed, taken by such surprise you used her first name. She burst out laughing, something you couldn’t ignore and ended up in a fit of giggles yourself.

“Behave.” You warned, trying to compose yourself. “You’re a married woman.” You’d attended her wedding last summer, bringing along Soojung as your plus one.

“Looking is still allowed,” she replied, making you both explode into laughter once again.

You were giddy. Really, what was up with you?

The afternoon was a success, the children and their families enjoying immensely, as well as the teachers. It was your job to announce the creative writing reward and it was so heart-warming to see how happy it made Arin to come first place. She held her little trophy and movie theatre vouchers proudly for the camera, Seokjin looking just as over the moon as her. Mr. Jung convinced him to join for a few snaps and you looked on with a polite smile. Other than earlier and a thank you as you passed the prize to Arin, those had been your only interactions with Seokjin for the day and now the fate was drawing to a close. You wouldn’t say you were disappointed, because that would be preposterous, but if those were going to be your only exchanges then it made the times he’d fleeted into your mind these past couple of weeks highly embarrassing…

It wasn’t as if you wanted to think about him, he just kept popping up. First you blamed Soojung, who wouldn’t shut up about Mr. Dilf for a few days after the exchange at his house (mansion), but soon the topic bored her, no new developments to keep her hooked. You on the other hand found yourself imagining instances where you’d bump into one another again. You know, happenstances… Like if he had the time to drop Arin off at school, although you doubted he’d end up in the staff parking lot again… You’d had a good giggle to yourself remembering his face when he’d realised.

Other incidents were less realistic, like maybe he’d drop off a thank you present the students liked to gift to say goodbye, or maybe you’d bump into him at the grocery store, the park – highly improbable, but you found yourself thinking all these things when you were procrastinating or trying to get to sleep.

Even now as you tried to win a prize at the Ring Toss stall – don’t ask how much money you’d already spent – (obviously using your free time wisely before you were needed again), you found yourself disappointed that things hadn’t worked out quite like you’d imagined today. You were being stupid. The guy was supposed to annoy the heck out of you, yet here you were unable to stop thinking about him. It had been a long time since a man had gotten you this distracted. A really long time…

“Can I help?”

You jumped at the sound of Seokjin’s voice, granted you were in deep concentration, about to launch the hoop, but you felt like you’d been caught doing something wrong. As if he knew you’d been thinking about him, caught you in the act. You whipped your head up, forcing yourself to relax and smile.

“I’ve been watching you try to win for the past ten minutes.” He chuckled. Great. How embarrassing. He stepped closer. “What do you have your eyes so set on?”

Oh, god. Even more embarrassing. You had a split second to make a decision. Be truthful or lie and choose something else. You know what, who cared? You were thirty and still loved stuffed animals. It wasn’t out of the ordinary.

“The alpaca.” You pointed to the white fluffy animal sat on the top shelf. With his cute round face and a red scarf wrapped around his neck, he was adorable and you really wanted him.

Seokjin wasn’t fazed at all. “He’s cute. I’ll try but don’t get your hopes up, okay?”

You nodded and handed him the hoops. He needed to loop all three around the skittles. You watched him with anticipation, thinking to yourself this definitely wasn’t one of your fantasies, but you liked it regardless. Liked it even better when Seokjin managed to win.

“Thank you, Seokjin,” you smiled, his name still feeling strange to say aloud. The man in charge of the game passed you your new ‘pet’ and you held it fondly, unable to stop yourself. Your landlord didn’t allow animals so you’d had to improvise over the years. You’d never had an alpaca before, but you were sure he’d fit right in.

“No problem, I’m glad I could be of service.” He chuckled.

There was a silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable but it was new. You were so used to Seokjin joking about you were expecting him to take the lead. Today he was quiet, actually right now he looked pretty awkward.

You opened your mouth to ask him how he was when you suddenly realised something. How stupid of you. You’d been so distracted by the stuffed animal you hadn’t realised a little certain someone was missing. “Where’s Arin?”

“She’s playing with a friend and their family.” You watched him scratch the back of his neck, looking at you, but not really making eye contact. “Y/N, do you maybe want to take a walk? We could find some where to sit and talk?”

“About what?” You could’ve kicked yourself. Why did you have to ask that? You were just a little dazed from hearing him say your name again.

“Uh, just about Arin really.”

You didn’t really know what you’d been expecting so any answer would’ve surprised you, but you nodded, taking him up on the offer. “Okay.”

You knew a bench away from the fate but still on school grounds, and you walked side by side, noticing just how tall and broad he was. His shoulders looked unbelievable in that sweater, and it hugged his chest perfectly when the light breeze of the afternoon hit him, his well-built chest visible. Not that you were staring or anything, you just happened to notice…

You small talked along the way. Not much, mostly about the fate, but it was enough for you to hit your destination without any awkward silence. You wracked your brains as you sat, wondering what he had to say about Arin. Maybe he wanted to discuss her stories more, thank you for the prize she’d won. What you did know though, was that his cologne really did smell amazing. It was woody, maybe spicy, and just plain addicting. This close proximity was wreaking havoc with you again. You sat the alpaca between you both on bench, acting as a barrier for your sanity.

Seokjin patted its head absentmindedly before he side-eyed you, that amused smile you’d become familiar with upturning the corners of his mouth. “You seem a lot less scrappy today.”

You raised both eyebrows, thrown for a moment. “Scrappy?”

“Yes,” he chuckled, “a lot less intimidating.”

You? Intimidating? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? The sheer power of Seokjin’s brow line alone could bring a person to quivering knees, and that wasn’t mentioning the obvious, like you know, his face. However, he seemed genuine enough. You didn’t really consider yourself feisty, but then again, when pushed to your limits maybe something just snapped inside of you. You had powers you weren’t aware of, obviously. Better own them then…

You gave a small shrug, smirking slightly. “Maybe I’ve chosen to forgive and forget.”

He chuckled again, genuinely amused, but you sensed some reluctance his end, a slight awkwardness. Was he stalling? You suddenly grew a little nervous. The dynamics you’d grown somewhat used to during your last few encounters had shifted without you knowing. Seokjin was a lot less teasing today. How come?

“So,” you pressed carefully, unable to handle the anticipation. “What was it you wanted to say?”

He lifted his head up, warm eyes meeting yours and your insides did that flurrying thing again. Your imagination hadn’t concocted this. When he smiled you realised how kind it was – how kind it could be when he wasn’t being infuriating. “I just want to thank you.”

Your eyes widened before you could control the surprise. “Thank me?”

He nodded, relaxing a little now, pressing his back into the bench. “For being such an amazing teacher to Arin these past couple of months.”

Of course, Arin. That’s what he’d said in the beginning, right? He wanted to sit and talk about Arin.

“That’s really no problem,” you smiled. It was your job after all. Yes, teachers liked being appreciated for their hard work, but personally, praise sent you a little red in the face.

You didn’t know if he heard you, already continuing, as if he’d rehearsed what he wanted to say. “It’s been really hard on her, the change – you know, uprooting the life she knew to come and live with me. New school, making new friends. She was incredibly worried, but you made it so much easier for her.”

Looking at you again, sounding so genuine, you found yourself freezing. You stumbled a little over your words before managing to come up with something functional. “Of course, it’s my job to make every student comfortable in my class.” You were sure any teacher would’ve treated her with the same kindness and care. But, yes, truthfully you had become very fond of her in such a short time. You wanted him to know that in a roundabout way. “I’ll miss her come September.”

He gave you an appreciative smile. “She’ll miss you too.”

Serious Seokjin always threw you. Maybe it was because you had to accept that you’d misjudged him completely. He wasn’t the rich pompous jerk you’d first thought the morning he’d hit your car. You had to admit that like this he impressed and intrigued you. It was why you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him these past two weeks. Which was stupid because you doubted he was doing the same.

“Thanks for choosing her to win that writing competition, by the way.” His voice brought you back to Earth, concentrating on him again to find that mischievous grin all over his face. “Even if you didn’t like the way it ended.”

You scoffed. Was he ever going to drop that? He knew that wasn’t the case. He’d asked for the damn pointer himself. “Well, if Lewis Carroll did it.”

“Kim Arin can too?” He finished, both of you instantly laughing. Once it petered off, he tilted his head to the side, gazing at you almost. It made you fidget a little, getting flustered. “She’s really fond of you. I meant what I said at the parent-teacher meeting.”

God, you really were horrendous at taking compliments. Especially from a man that already made you feel funny.

“She’s always speaking about how kind and lovely you are.” A pause. "...How pretty you are.” You froze. He hesitated, contemplating something in his head it seemed. He looked you straight in the eyes and said casually, “I have to admit, I agree."

Oh. What?! You felt heat begin to travel up your face, your cheeks burning and you prayed it wasn't visible. You didn't know what to reply, but thankfully (perhaps) Seokjin simply carried on, hopefully oblivious to your awkward reaction. You should bypass it too. It probably didn't mean anything. He was just being polite, right?

“Realising it was your car I hit made me feel even guiltier." He shook his head regretfully. "I really am sorry for all that. The damage, stealing your car."

"It's fine, Seokjin." He hadn’t really stolen your car, you’d been extremely overdramatic there. He'd apologised enough already. You were over it. You had two days left of school, the summer all yours, your mood was much better. Let bygones be bygones.

“Yeah but, I should’ve never gotten your car towed. I realise I was out of line. You said you didn’t want my help but I didn’t listen."

You nodded, listening to him, aware he needed to say this. Again, it seemed as if he'd rehearsed it almost, or maybe it was the professional in him. You were too damn stubborn so he wasn't all to blame. You smiled appreciatively, fighting your hand's strange urge to pat his shoulder. It was maybe best that you didn't touch him. Instead you gave a teasing grin. “But you still won’t let me pay you back?”

He whined – or at least that's the only way you could describe it. It tugged at something inside your chest. Maybe it was more like a wail. Less cute. He couldn't believe you were back on that.

"I'm just messing around," you laughed, trying to compose yourself to let him know something too. “While we're on apologies... I'm sorry for being so short with you annnd for calling you a car thief."

He chuckled, brushing a hand through his hair. Oh, it was pushed back above his forehead again today. You hadn't noticed, too distracted by what? His sneakers? The outfit as a whole? His face? “I deserved it, let’s be honest."

"Maybe in the beginning," you admitted carefully, causing him to laugh harder.

“I was way too preoccupied when I hit you. With work and promising Arin I’d drop her off at school – because shamefully I’d never done it before." He turned a little pensive at that, lost in his own thoughts.

“You must be really busy," you said, voice soft. There was no way he could do it all. Work seemingly six days a week and still try to be there for Arin 24/7.

He looked across at you, an eyebrow quirking slightly. What was he surprised by? That you were sympathising with him? He nodded slowly. “It’s just hard learning to juggle everything. Don’t get me wrong, I love having her with me every day, but...”

“I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it soon.” You wanted to say it would be summer break soon enough, but then on second thoughts, maybe that would make things even harder.

“Yeah, maybe,” he shrugged, changing the subject back to you. “Besides, me being busy doesn’t really excuse the fact I hit you. I mean, what if god forbid you’d been walking past my car instead, it doesn’t bear thinking about.” He looked beside himself at just the idea.

“But I wasn’t,” you reminded him, “so it’s perfectly okay.”

“You’re right,” he murmured, giving you a small smile that rounded his cheeks.

There was silence then, where you waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t. Was that all he’d wanted to talk about? To thank you for being a kind teacher to Arin and to say sorry once again for the car debacle? For some reason you felt eager to keep the conversation going. It was an urge deep inside you that acted on its own accord.

“So, what do you do?” You asked, trying your best to sound casual. Not that you weren’t casual. You just didn’t want to make it seem like you were desperate for small talk. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

Again, he looked vaguely surprised. What, that you were interested in him? No, that was phrased wrong. That you were interested. He didn’t meet your eyes as he replied. “I, uh, I’m the CEO of LG. I took over from my father about three years ago.”

You swore your eyes bugged out of their sockets you were so overcome with shock. You were glad he wasn’t looking at you as you tried to pull it together. “The LG?”

Like one of the biggest companies in the country LG? He was way too young surely? Weren’t those type of CEOs old and round looking?

Seokjin chuckled, finally looking you in the eyes. “Unless you know another one.”

You were speechless, well aware you needed to actually say something in reply instead of gawping but what? What could you say to that? “I guess that explains why you’re always so busy then.”

God, why? Of all the things, why that? Well done for stating the obvious, Y/N.

Seokjin gave you a modest smile. “It’s difficult, yes. Trying to manage work and being effectively a single dad, but I really am trying.” He shook his head slightly, as if he was telling himself off. “I missed her so much these past couple of years, so to finally have her living with me is a dream come true. I’m trying to be the best father I can but I guess it’s a work in progress.”

You weren’t expecting him to be this open with you at all. But maybe Soojung wouldn’t be so surprised. She and a bunch of your other friends, even acquittances said that you were easy to confide in. That you listened well and didn’t try to solve everything. You didn’t know how true that was but you didn’t mind listening to him right now. Sometimes confiding in a stranger just worked.

“Arin obviously adores you.” You smiled. “I could see that the day I dropped your car back.”

He gave you a tiny smile of thanks but sighed softly. “I just want her to always be happy. I know coming from a broken home may make that statement hypocritical but…”

“Not at all,” you insisted. “If a relationship isn’t working out then you need to do what’s best for your child, and you.” That was important too. “I mean, my parents divorced when I was quite young and I have a million and one happy memories growing up.”

You grew a little self-conscious, thinking that you were oversharing, but he seemed happy to hear it, perking up a little. “Really?”

“Yep. They beat the ones I have of them yelling at one another.”

He gave a bitter chuckle then, nodding in agreement. “That’s right. It’s just…” He paused and you wondered if he was going to carry on. Was it bad that you felt curious? You liked seeing this side of Seokjin, it wasn’t how your fantasies had gone at all, it was better. Things had taken an unexpected turn but it just seemed to fit. It seemed natural. It felt nice to talk to him like this. Suddenly you didn’t seem so different. Despite the contrasts in your job and lifestyle, they weren’t very apparent here on this bench…

“My ex-wife is… she lives a busy life – even busier than mine. But she loves it. She goes looking for it.” Seokjin explained. You listened politely. “That’s why Arin had to start living with me, and even though I’m pulled thin, I still try to make enough time for my daughter, no matter the day, no matter the time, no matter anything. Nana doesn’t…”

Nana? That was her name. You imagined someone slim and beautiful, it was only fitting seeing as Seokjin was the man she was married to once upon a time. Beauty attracted beauty.

“Is that why you divorced?” Okay, maybe you were prying now. You hoped he didn’t find it rude.

He didn’t. “There were a lot of reasons,” he answered honestly. “It was as much my fault as it was hers. We were going in different directions and had fallen out of love. It’s been a while now, nearly two years, I’m fine.” He met your eyes at the last part, as if he wanted you to understand that. Or maybe you were reading it wrong. Why would he want you to know that?

“Does she live far?” You remembered Arin’s disappointment that weekend when her mom had cancelled their plans. Maybe she lived a while away and it was hard to commute with Arin back and forth.

“No, just in the next city. It’s not far at all. She’s really high up in an accounting firm there. That’s why when we divorced I moved closer to my building here. See, that’s what annoys me the most,” Seokjin scoffed, an edge to his voice now. Oh shoot, you’d made a mistake with that question. “It’s really no distance at all, so why can’t she spare one single day for Arin?”

You made a sympathetic face, unsure what to say. You decided on honesty. “I’m sorry, I can’t even begin to imagine how all that feels.”

Break-ups and divorces were hard yes, but when a child was stuck in the middle a tonne of other complications arose. As a teacher you understood that very well, but as a long-time single woman, maybe not. It had been a while since you’d opened your heart to someone, your life taking a very different turn to what you’d expected three years ago. Not that you minded, you liked where you were heading right now, comfortable and at ease. There was nothing missing. You had your friends and family and that was enough. You hoped Seokjin had people around him too.

“No, I’m the one that should apologise,” he said suddenly, face tinged with colour, as if he was embarrassed. “I’m offloading onto you, that isn’t fair.”

“I don’t mind.” Honestly, you didn’t at all. It wasn’t even offloading, more so a conversation. You were getting to know him.

“You’re just so easy to talk to and I got a bit caught off guard when you started asking about me.” He admitted, his warm eyes finding yours.

Oh. So now you knew for definite he was indeed surprised by all your questions. When was the last time he’d spoken about all that stuff relating his ex-wife? Had he ever spoken about it at all?

“I haven’t been entirely honest with you today.”

His words caught your attention, interrupting your thoughts and in the process confusing you greatly. You raised a questioning eyebrow. What did he mean?

“When I asked you to take a walk I did want to thank you for being so kind to Arin and to apologise for the car trouble, but there was also something else…” You waited patiently, heart thudding quite roughly against your chest for some reason. He looked nervous again. Nervous and awkward just like earlier, before you’d distracted him.

He chose a new direction. One that left you a little dazed. “Y/N, would I be crossing the line if I said I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you lately?” His dark brown eyes searched for any reaction across your face.

“Me?” You asked quietly.

He chuckled bashfully. “Yeah.”

Somehow you found your voice. Well, some of it anyway. “No, it’s not crossing the line.” You wanted to tell him just the same. How he’d slipped into your mind at random times of the day and how you’d secretly been holding out on another meeting. How you’d been anticipating today. But none of that came in your stunned state. Seokjin had been thinking about you? The annoying, exasperating so-and-so hadn’t been able to stop thinking about you?

He instantly looked relieved – and pleased – at your answer. “I’m glad.” A pause as he hesitated. “Do you maybe want to… go out for dinner this Saturday?” He sounded hopeful, adding quickly, “with me, obviously.”

You would’ve giggled at that but nothing was working. You needed to process his question. He was asking you for dinner?

“My way of apologising for everything, my treat…” You guessed he felt the need to explain now, a little panicked by your reaction (or no reaction.) “For hitting your car and towing it away without your permission.”

You laughed then. Just like that your shock dispersing. He was so oblivious it hurt, and now you knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose. He really was that unaware. “So you want to spend more of your money on me?”

You weren’t mad, of course. He knew that, laughing too as he weighed up your reply. “I see the problem.” You snickered, your gaze intimately locking with his in the process. “So, what do you say?” He murmured. “I mean, it’s for a plethora of things really. The car business, all you’ve done for Arin. One massive thank you.”

Oh. You were getting mixed messages here. Was this an apology dinner, a thank you dinner? Or something more? Maybe he read the questioning in your eyes because he was rushing to say more. “As well as just wanting to enjoy your company. I feel like I talked too much about myself today, I’d like to get to know you too…”

Okay, now this sounded awfully like a date… And that word freaked you out. Had you not just been thinking about how happily single you’d been for three years and how all you needed were your friends and family? But honestly, you were getting ahead of yourself. It was one dinner. There was no way to predict the outcome and you shouldn’t even be thinking that far ahead. Sometimes you didn’t need to think. You needed to remember that. Sometimes it was just good to act in the moment. Take cautious to the wind and accept this incredibly handsome man’s dinner invitation, whatever his intention was.

You smiled. “Dinner sounds lovely.”

Seokjin’s eyes widened a tad, surprise visible and he didn’t try to hide it. “Really?” You laughed and nodded. Really you should be the one still shocked, because despite everything – the misjudgements, the attitude, the way you’d been itching for numerous fights with him, it was a wonder why he still wanted to be anywhere near you. …Maybe he liked that… Maybe he liked you? Or were you absolutely barking mad?

“Can I have your number to arrange everything?”

You went to relay it to him, watching him pull his phone from out his front jean pocket but then remembered something. “Oh, I already have yours, should I just text you?”

“That’s my work phone. Maybe we should swap personal phone numbers?”

You mean, you only had one phone, but it made sense why he had two. You were still stuck on the personal part though. A little dazed (and excited) as he saved your number into his phonebook. Your phone was locked up in your classroom, so you couldn’t take his but no matter, you’d just save it once he messaged you.

Seokjin glanced at his watch – an expensive looking thing, but that was really no surprise now – and hummed. “We should head back, the fate will be finishing soon.”

You made more small talk as you walked back, Seokjin wondering if you had any allergies or a special diet so he could bear it in mind when he chose a restaurant. Luckily for you no, but you found out that he was allergic to garlic and potatoes, which seemed ridiculous and highly unfair. But he did admit that he ignored it sometimes, which resulted in disaster often because garlic made him itch like crazy. You had a good laugh over that.

“So, what are you going to name him?” Seokjin asked, stroking the top of your alpaca’s head who was hooked against your hip as you walked.

“Hm. I don’t know.” You shrugged, turning to him. “You decide? You did win him after all.”

“Hmmm,” he thought aloud. A few seconds later he came up with something. “How about RJ?”

“RJ?”

Seokjin chuckled. “Yeah, it’s cute.”

Smiling, you had to agree. “Yeah, it is.” You held the stuffed animal up in front of you, tilting your head to the side. “RJ the alpaca. Perfect.”

Still walking as you spoke, you felt Seokjin move in, hovering his hand behind the small of your back in case you stumbled, your attention elsewhere. You felt the same warmth you had the day he’d called you by your name for the first time…

Of course you had to tell Soojung about the events of the day. It wasn't as if you could keep it a secret – and it wasn't as if you wanted to, you just knew what would happen... She was like a dog with a bone, unable to give it up, making you recall every minute detail down to the socks he was wearing (black, by the way, to match his jeans. You had indeed noticed).

“He’s so smart. He waits until you’re not this kid’s teacher anymore and then BAM, do you want to go on a date?”

“Soojung, it’s not a date," you sighed. “He’s just…being nice."

You were still reluctant to call it a date, because well, he hadn't used the word himself. You didn't want to get your hopes up. Although you would never admit that to her, you knew she understood, in her own roundabout way.

“Being nice?!” She exclaimed, scoffing absurdly loud.

You shrugged. “Yeah, thanking me."

She spluttered, as if she found you terribly naive. “What, thanks for being kind to my daughter? SHUT UP, it’s your job! No, he wants to give you that Dilf dick!"

“Oh, my god. Soojung!” You hushed, immediately feeling your face burn. The thought hadn't even crossed your mind because it was so unbelievable.

Saturday was not that long away, the last two days of school flew by, and whilst you were emotional, your mind was also a little too preoccupied with the weekend and what it all meant. Gradually, you’d finally had to admit to yourself that this was probably, most definitely a date. The word sent a fear through your body like no other. Despite being single for three years, you had been on a few first dates in that time, and obviously they had never led to anything. In fact, it had been over a year since your last and that's when you had sworn off dating altogether.

Min Yoongi. That was the last guy you'd said yes too. A fifth grade teacher at Primrose Hill up until last September. (That had nothing to do with you, by the way, he'd just moved cities last summer to pursue a different career. The date hadn't been that bad...) He was easy on the eye and funny, although maybe a little too sarcastic at times, so much so, you hadn't been able to pick up on the signals until he was cornering you in the staff room and asking you to watch a movie with him that coming weekend. Being both teachers, you'd assumed you'd hit it off straight away, but that wasn't the case. It turned out that Yoongi pretty much hated his job, only there for the extended vacations. That was perfectly fine, you guessed, but you realised that a man like that wasn't for you. How could you both love and hate the same job? It just wasn't feasible.

You didn't miss dating, mostly because you hadn't been that into the idea anyway. But now? Now that the idea had presented itself again? After the most peculiar string of events, you had suddenly found yourself being asked out for dinner by the man who had hit your car, and you were… excited. For the first time in forever, you were excited for a date.

You hadn’t felt like this since –

Since Donghae.

Even thinking his name turned your heart heavy. Not as bad as the original heartbreak three years ago, but the memory was still enough to dampen your mood, if even for a moment. You'd met one another during your last year of college and had stayed together for the next five years. He'd been your forever man, the one you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with – he had proposed to you on your 26th birthday after all... Only, being his fiancé hadn't lasted. Since months later he confessed to cheating on you – repeatedly with a girl that worked in the Starbucks near his work building. It had been the pressure of settling down, that's what he'd told you. He was still young, had been very young when you'd gotten together in college and he wanted to experience life properly. His friends were out clubbing every weekend while he stayed inside playing boardgames with you and your friends. Your friends, as if they weren't his too, as if you all hadn't been joined at the hip in college...

Your life had pretty much crumbled after that. Everything you'd known had been ripped from under your feet and you had no idea what to do or where to go. One day you had been someone's wife-to-be and the next you were a lonely, broken human. You moved in with Soojung, had to take a month off work because you couldn't function properly, and slowly had to learn how to live your life without the love of your life.

It took a while, but gradually you got there. You and Soojung found a new, bigger place to live – where you still lived now – and you found ways to stop thinking about him, went on weekend vacations and started new hobbies. It took just over a year to feel yourself again but dating never seemed right.

Soojung slowly encouraged you to try it out, but the handful that happened in that twelve month period just felt forced – even the one with Yoongi, which had pretty much happened organically (as in, Soojung hadn't set it up…), felt like it was missing something. In a way you knew you were comparing everyone to Donghae, you couldn't help it. You couldn't imagine potentially falling in love with someone else again. He was all you'd known for so long, and once upon a time your relationship had been amazing. He'd been amazing. Getting out of that mindset had been difficult, but there had been an even more difficult one... One you were still struggling with now. The issue of opening up your heart again.

Truthfully, that's why you’d stayed single for so long. Why you'd given up on dating and didn't want to know. The thought of you meeting and falling for someone only to inevitably get hurt again terrified you. You wouldn't say you had trust issues, you knew not every man was like Donghae, but just imagining your world crumbling like it had three years ago was enough to just give up.

It wasn't like you were unhappy though. You’d meant all that stuff about liking where your life was heading. You had your friends and family and a job you loved. Your life was fulfilling, there was nothing missing. But maybe that’s what you’d needed to realise… Life worked in mysterious ways. Once you were happy and content maybe it was finally time to open up your heart again.

The truth was, you were very, very attracted to Seokjin. You felt something, even when you wanted to poke his eyeballs out for being so annoying. Actually, thinking about it, maybe that’s why you’d been so scrappy, your mind was fighting with your heart… Despite the obvious differences between you both, you oddly weren’t fazed by that right now. Seokjin didn’t seem unrelatable in that sense. Yes, your lives were crazy different, but there was something between you. You were sure of it. The way he’d opened up to you on that bench, the way he’d smiled at you, and even the way he’d teased you. It had to mean something.

Sometimes it was okay to trust your heart. That warm feeling weaving its way through your chest… Sometimes it was okay to be a little exposed. Not everyone was out to get you.

What was the worst that could happen? The dinner never led to anything else? That would be okay, you’d get over it. But what if it did lead to something more…?

You deserved to find out, right?

Saturday morning you received a text from Seokjin. You were eating breakfast at the small table you had set up in the kitchen alongside Soojung. She had only just woken up and was still a little bleary eyed but still managed to instantly perk up at the mention of Seokjin. She demanded to see his message straight away.

Unknown (9:32am) Hi Y/N, It’s Kim Seokjin, Arin’s father. Just wondering if you still want to have dinner tonight? If so, please let me know and I will send through the restaurant details. We can decide on a time for me to pick you up. Regards, Seokjin

She squealed. “This guy writes his texts like they’re emails. You just know he’s going to be a good lay.”

“Soojung,” you groaned. She would not shut up about Dilf dick this and Dilf dick that. “What does that even mean?”

“He’s a CEO,” she said simply, eyes wide as if that explained everything. “Of one of this country’s biggest companies. That’s like some type of erotic novel shit.”

You groaned loudly, dropping your head into your hands, but she still continued – sadly.

“But none of that creepy Fifty Shades of Grey stuff. This guy is a real gentleman. Like he puts your pleasure above all else. I think he’d be really good at going down on a woman.”

By this point, you’d stopped feeling flustered by her insane claims. They were just normal now. She was unbelievable. Why was she even thinking of these things and where did she come up with them? You didn’t want to think of Seokjin like that because you really wanted to keep your sanity for tonight. Plus, no way were you ready for something like that yet. You hoped Seokjin wasn’t anticipating something more. You were sure he wasn’t, you hadn’t gotten those vibes. Soojung was just being dumb.

You rolled your eyes. “You don’t half talk some shit.”

You wanted her to point out how cute his text was instead. Like how he’d said he was Arin’s father, you know, just in case you’d forgotten who he was in two days, but no, she was too caught up on potential erotic novel titles.

You slipped to the side with a start when Soojung nudged your shoulder, getting all up into your personal space as she teased you. “I’m right though, huh?”

You pushed her back. “This is just a dinner. Not the start of an erotic novel.”

She shrugged. “I’d read it.”

“What would you read?”

Taehyung’s voice appeared from the doorway and you both looked up to see him leaning against it, eyes still pretty much glued shut, his thick hair pulled all ways.

“Good morning, sleepy head,” Soojung greeted, standing up to make her way towards him. You watched her wrap her arms around his middle, nuzzling into him. She’d only left him in bed not half an hour ago. Seeing your best friend in love was odd but nice. You weren’t used to sappy Soojung, but you had to admit it suited her well. They were cute together.

Taehyung wrapped one arm around his girlfriend and lifted the other to his face, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. “What are you guys yelling about down here? You woke me up.”

“Y/N’s date tonight,”

“Oh, Mr. Dilf?” He sniggered, perking up.

Soojung screeched and joined in. “CEO Dilf dick.”

“You told him?!” You whined, standing to dump your bowl in the sink.

“Of course.” Taehyung smiled smugly. “She tells me everything. Don’t you, babe?”

“Yep.” She grinned. You watched in minor amusement as Taehyung leant down to peck her mouth, Soojung gagging loudly. “Your breath stinks.”

You replied to Seokjin promptly – well as soon as Soojung and Taehyung had vacated the kitchen – and not long after that he messaged back with the restaurant details, asking if it was okay to pick you up at 7pm. You sent him your address, almost immediately freaking out. You knew his wealth hadn't fazed you that bad, seeing as he was so easy to talk to, but your place and his place were on different planes of existence. You knew it wouldn't bother him, he wasn't like that, you knew that now, but you were still a little self-conscious. It was probably the nerves regarding today. The reality was setting it. The slight doubt…

Soojung wasn't helping.

“There’s steaks on the menu that are more than our rent a week," she awed, looking down at her phone.

Why had you given her the name of the restaurant again? You would never learn your lesson. She had already googled his name when you’d told her he was the CEO of LG and she had been this close to searching his net worth before you’d stopped her. You didn’t want to know, not only was it incredibly invasive, it made you feel slightly faint. Seeing his image pop up online was enough for you . A professional headshot, he smiled kindly into the camera lens. It was crazy to think that it was the man you’d be going to dinner with.

Soojung would be good for one thing though – helping you decide on an outfit for tonight. Taehyung had gone home a couple of hours ago, needed at the bar he owned so she had nothing else better to do. Not that she was listening to you though…

She shrugged. “What did I expect? This dude is a billionaire."

“He’s not."

Billionaire seemed a lot more intimidating than a millionaire, but in reality what was the difference? He was unbelievably rich and you were just... you. You shook your head, attempting to claw yourself out of the anxiety hole you'd found yourself in. His job didn't matter. The restaurant he'd chosen didn't matter. You were going for dinner with him to enjoy his company and get to know him better. The finer details were irrelevant.

“Come on! If not he must be a multi-multimillionaire." She rationalised. "His dad is the billionaire."

You groaned. "Will you stop making me nervous and help me pick something to wear?"

You decided on the midi dress you'd actually worn to Eunbi's wedding last summer. It was the only fancy thing you had – or at least fancy enough to dine at a restaurant that sold insane dollar steaks. But wait, the restaurant wasn't supposed to matter, remember?

You still wanted to look nice though. The dress was modest in itself but maybe the colour was a bit eye-catching – a deep red. Soojung said it was perfect and you'd knock his Dilf socks off. By now you were getting sick of the word. You told her as much.

"What if I don't want to sleep with him?"

"As if." She scoffed. "Your dry spell has gone on far too long. You deserve this." She caught the look of apprehension on your face. "When you're ready of course."

"Don't make me –”

"Nervous, I know" she finished for you, sighing loudly. "There's no need to be. Mr. Dilf is whipped for you, I just know it."

How did she know? She hadn't even met him, but you appreciated the sentiment. You did not appreciate it when she was being a clever bitch though.

"I'm just trying to work this out." She said, watching you apply your mascara in the bathroom mirror. It was much later in the day now, about forty minutes before Seokjin was due to pick you up. You were dressed, hair up, makeup nearly done, and sick to your stomach with anticipation. You hummed, letting her know you'd heard her and to continue.

"You were mad when Dilf spent money on your car but you're okay with him spending mad money on you at this restaurant?"

"Soojung," you warned, staring at her reflection in the glass.

She held her hands up in apology. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just curious. Is it okay when it's food?"

You sighed. You knew it didn't really make sense, you guessed, but well, you'd said yes to the dinner. You hadn't said yes to the car being repaired. That was the difference.

"I'm not going to order the most expensive thing on the menu."

"Well, don't just order a side salad, he'll think you're weird..."

You simply stared at her. Her input was so appreciated.

“He’s here, oh my god, he’s here!” Soojung screamed, spying through the voile curtains in the living room. "Ten minutes early. I love that."

“Soojung, move away, now." You told her sternly.

“The fucking car–” She cut herself with a muffled sound. As if she was trying to stifle her own screams. You guessed he'd gotten out of said car. “What the fuck, what the fuck, he’s SO hot. I’m going to pass out."

“Soojung!" Dropping your phone into your purse you slipped on your heels, nearly tripping over in the process. You gripped onto the back of the couch just in time. "I swear to god if he sees you."

She spun around, pointing an accusing finger at you. “You never said he was that hot."

You shrugged. "You never asked."

"I asked every goddamn second of the day. You lucky bitch." She walked towards you, fixing a piece of your hair that had fallen into your eyes. “How come you get hot billionaire Dilf and I get the man-child whose special talent is making cocktails."

"Shut up," you scoffed. She loved Taehyung and his cocktail making skills. That's how they'd met after all. She drunk at the bar three days a week for a month straight until he asked her out.

The doorbell rung and you froze, remembering how nervous you were. Soojung's antics had distracted you for a while but now reality was setting in. As you turned to leave she tapped your ass. “Get that Dilf dick, girl!”

"Soojung, I swear to god –”

"I won't wait up."

Ha. As if. She'd be glued to that window until Seokjin dropped you off back home. You knew her all too well, you'd been best friends for over ten years.

In the entryway now, you didn't have time for breathing exercises. Although, you wished you'd had once you opened the door to see Seokjin stood there looking devastating handsome.

“Hi," he smiled, eyes lighting up when he saw you.

“Hey," you managed to squeeze out, cemented to the ground.

He was dressed in a double breasted navy two piece that must have been tailored to fit his body down to the millimetre, a crisp white dress shirt on underneath. His hair looked shorter, falling just above is eyebrows and parted slightly in the middle. He looked good enough to eat. Or good enough to make you pass out. Either one.

“You look beautiful," he awed, rendering you pretty speechless.

This was a date. It really was a date.

"Thank you," you managed to reply, needing to return the compliment. But what could you possibly say?! “You look…really good."

Oh god. How embarrassing.

Especially when Seokjin burst out laughing, that familiar squeak to it that you'd heard at the parent-teacher meeting. "I'll take it. Thanks." He tilted his head. "Are you ready to go? I'm a bit early, I know. Sorry about that."

You nodded, clutching your purse tight to your side. "I, uh... I would invite you in to kill time but my best friend’s embarrassing." You raised your voice a little so she'd hear you, but on her best behaviour she stayed deathly silent. Well done, Soojung.

Seokjin raised an eyebrow, a little confused, but you figured you'd fill him in inside the car. "It's fine," he shook his head.

Seeing you stepping forward he moved to the side, outstretching his arm to invite you to lead the way. You did, making sure not to look back towards the living room window, because you knew for a fact you'd see Soojung pressed up against it.

“This is all new for me.” Seokjin admitted, sat opposite you as you waited for your dessert. “I haven’t been on a date for years.”

To say the night had gone well would be an understatement. At first you’d been too nervous to even breathe, especially with Seokjin looking like that just a few centimetres away from you as he drove. It didn’t help that he seemed to be some type of regular at the restaurant, getting greeted as if he was an old friend of the manager and led to his ‘usual’ table; a quiet spot away from the hustle and bustle. It turned out he co-owned the place with his brother, looking mildly embarrassed as he told you. It was cute, but he had nothing to be self-conscious over, this was his life, normal to him. I hope you don’t see it as a cop-out, he confessed, causing some confusion your end. Why would you see it that way? This restaurant was beautiful, certainly popular, and you couldn’t wait to try the food. You told him as much and he laughed about feeling nervous now.

You tried lobster for the first time ever – his recommendation. It was kind of messy, but he ordered the same so you were both in it together. You laughed, you joked, you got to know one another more. Conversation came easy, both relaxed in one another’s company, and after the main you both decided to share a dessert, too stuffed for anything more.

“Snap,” you grinned, silently happy that was the case, although rather amazed. Seokjin was, well… him, who wouldn’t want to snap him up? However then again, he was a busy, divorced father. Dating probably wasn’t high up on his list. You were so distracted by his confession, you didn’t even comprehend he’d used the word ‘date.’

“Really?” Seokjin’s eyes bulged slightly. Why was he so surprised?

You shrugged casually. “It’s been well over a year since my last date.”

Seokjin’s mouth curved, amused. “Try over ten.”

“I wasn’t aware this was a competition,” you laughed, but yes, he indeed had you beat.

He laughed along, the arrival of your lemon cheesecake interrupting you both for a moment. It was a few bites later when the conversation got back on track again, Seokjin’s tone careful as he looked across at you, both of you reaching for another bit of the cheesecake with your dessert forks. “You don’t mind me calling this a date, do you? This isn’t the part where you tell me you’ve been in a relationship for five years and you just thought this was an innocent thank you dinner?”

You giggled softy, shaking your head. “No. I don’t mind you calling it a date.” You brought the fork up to your mouth, taking your time to chew before you continued. “Soojung was adamant it was but I… didn’t want get my hopes up?” You wanted to be honest. This night was about opening yourself up to the uncertain.

“Soojung, your best friend? The one you live with?” He asked.

You nodded. You’d already told him all about your best friend, about how you lived with each other. Seokjin hadn’t bat an eyelid, which was nice. You weren’t embarrassed or anything, but the differences in your living arrangements were stark. He thought it sounded fun. He still remembered living with his best friend Namjoon back in college and how entertaining that had been. He’d definitely be up for it again if they weren’t both dads now – divorced at that, but hey ho, that was life.

“Well, she was correct.” Seokjin continued. “I thought I made it clear but I guess I was too cryptic.”

“So, which one is it?” You asked, lifting an eyebrow in interest. “Not an innocent thank you dinner or not an innocent dinner?”

You were feeling brave, however your heart still thudded inside your chest, adrenaline whooshing through your veins. There was something about Seokjin that made you act so out of character…

Seokjin failed to conceal the visible surprise across his features and you watched him swallow before he composed himself, a smirk appearing on his lips immediately. “If I didn’t know any better I would say you were flirting with me right now.”

You shrugged. “I’m just checking if your intentions are innocent or not?” You took another bite of the cheesecake.

His smirk grew, and you watched him drop his fork onto the plate to lean back in his chair. “I would say they are, however, I did have plans to kiss you on the cheek tonight, so maybe, busted?” He chuckled then, at himself – he liked doing that you’d noticed. It was kind of cute.

The butterflies were back. Now there was no need to ignore or try to explain them. You took them as what they were – a good sign. Humming aloud, you tilted your head to the side and pretended to contemplate. “I think I can let you do that.”

Seokjin laughed. “You can? Okay, that sounds good.”

You reached for your glass of wine, needing a sip just to calm the flurry inside of you. Seokjin tucked his chair closer, still laughing but quietly now, more like a chuckle. “Honestly, I was pretty much shitting my pants today.”

You snorted into your glass, taken by surprise at his choice of words. “Sorry,” you apologised, feeling a little bit embarrassed by the sound that had just left your nose. He didn’t same fazed. “I was nervous too.”

That seemed to settle him. He smiled fondly, fingers tracing the brim of his glass. “I guess we were being silly.” His lips parted to say something else but he hesitated. You watched him take a quiet exhale, then he continued. “My therapist has been begging me to try dating again for months but the thought has always been pretty terrifying.” He gave a small shrug, his warm eyes locking with yours. “Until I met you.”

You could feel your heart rate speeding up, unable to stop the smile that spread across your face. He was pleased, grinning back, posture visibly relaxing. “She said I should face up to my fears and just ask you out.”

There were a lot of thoughts whirring through your mind right now. The fact he felt comfortable enough to disclose with you that he had a therapist, and the fact that he’d even mentioned you to her, that she had encouraged him to ask you out. The fact he’d liked you enough to want to take the plunge at all. After two years of being alone, you were the woman who had made him want to try again… It felt comparable to your own thoughts, to your feelings… and that’s why you felt so relaxed tonight. It just felt right.

“I like you, Y/N.” He confessed. “I know we don’t know one another very well, but I hope that this is just the beginning.”

Despite his words sending your butterflies crazy, you kept your cool, trying to stunt your smile. “You’re not so bad yourself, I guess.”

He chuckled. You let yourself smile at the sound. “Not so bad. I’ll take it.” He picked up his fork again, taking a bite of the cheesecake you’d both forgotten about. His voice was careful, genuine to match his expression, when he carried on. “Despite the circumstances of how we met and what followed, I don’t know, I haven’t felt a spark like that in forever.” He reached for a sip of his wine, laughing. “What do you think? You can call me crazy if you want.”

“I think you’re right.” There was no doubt about it now. You’d been adamant in the beginning that was nothing there – no spark, no flirting, insisting Soojung was wrong, but now you couldn’t deny the obvious attraction. You’d immediately bounced off one another that evening during the parent-teacher meeting, despite your annoyance the day before.

You grinned. “You frustrated me to no end but I felt something too.”

He tilted his head to the left, a teasing lilt to his voice. “Frustrated you? How so?”

“You know how,” you laughed. “I may or may not have called you an exasperating bastard in my head.”

He couldn’t contain himself then, taken back and genuinely amused. “Oh god,” he practically wheezed. “I like that one.”

You laughed along, unable not to when the sound he made brought you such joy. You reached for another forkful of cheesecake, the dessert nearly coming to an end. Just like the date, you thought. You didn’t want it to end, you were enjoying yourself too much.

“What about now?”

You looked up at Seokjin, eyes widening in question. What did he mean? He was staggeringly composed now, although his eyes shone with mischief as he grinned and explained. “Do I frustrate you now?”

You tried to stunt your own smile, shrugging your shoulders. “Not tonight.”

“At the fate?”

“Nope.”

He nodded his head, seemingly happy with your answers. “I guess things are looking up then.” He picked up his glass again, about to take a sip before he paused and added, “Although, I must admit, I liked frustrating you. You look so cute when your mad.”

You felt heat immediately burn its way to your cheeks, hoping the lighting in this restaurant was dim enough not to make it obvious. He took a swig of his wine. “Watch it, Mr. Kim.” As he chuckled it muffled inside the glass.

You went for the last piece of cheesecake, figuring you were owed that now. You looked across at him as you chewed, knowing that if you really wanted this to happen again you needed to let him know. Face up to your fears of opening up, telling people how you really felt. “I’d like to get to know you better, Seokjin.”

“Really?” He sounded hopeful, fingers playing with the rim of his wine glass again.

“Mmhm.” You nodded. “You seem like a lovely man if we ignore the car stealing...”

“Hey,” he whined, “you apologised for that already, you can’t bring it up again.” You held your hands up in silent defence, chuckling silently, watching him lean closer. “But please, go back to what you were saying about me being a lovely man. Stroke my ego, it’s been a long week.”

Had it? You were curious, concerned really. You thought to ask him if he wanted to talk about it, but you guessed the last thing he’d like to do was discuss work on a date. Instead, you decided to tell him about what attracted you most to him. The thing that had inevitably made you change your mind and realise that maybe, quite possibly, you’d misjudged him.

“Arin really adores you and I can see how much you dote on her. Any man cherished by his child is a good one in my eyes.”

“Oh.” He simply replied, possibly at a loss of words. He looked touched – happy, but ultimately unsure of what to reply, so he bypassed it in a way, raising an eyebrow. “So is there some kind of checklist?”

“What do you mean?”

He gave a slight shrug. “Like, ‘kids like him – check.’ ‘He knows how to clean dishes – check.’ – I can by the way. I’m really good with a pair of washing up gloves and some dish soap.”

You burst out laughing, not quite believing your ears. “Yeah, okay.” You admitted. “There’s a list.” Didn’t every woman have one?

“Let’s see how I fare then.” Seokjin said, sounding sure of himself as he leant back in his seat, hands behind his head – the image of casual. Maybe you were into this cocky Seokjin… It was sort of hot.

“Okay so…” You began, leaning forward. “Family man – check.” You’d already approved that one. “Loves animals?”

He scoffed. “Easy. Animals are so much better than humans.”

Okay, more points his way… “Uhh.” You thought aloud, racking your brains. “Does he make me laugh?”

Seokjin mulled it over. “That sounds like a decision you have to make, but I think it’s a yes? I mean, you’ve been laughing all night. Unless you were just being nice.”

“No, you are funny,” you confirmed, although you were unable to miss an opportunity to mess around with him. “You have that, what should I call it,” you pretended to think, “that old man type sense of humour.”

“Hey. I’m not that old,” he huffed.

You chuckled quietly. True, he wasn’t old, but you were still surprised when you’d found out he was turning 38 this coming December. Some people were blessed with ageing gracefully. Of course he was one of them. The man looked amazing for someone two years away from forty.

“What about you?” You wondered. “Do you have a checklist?”

He sat upright again, setting his elbow on the table to drop his chin in his palm, giving you his full attention. “Yes, and you check them all.”

“I do?” You laughed in disbelief. Either he was easy to please or he wanted brownie points.

He shrugged, as if to say of course. “You’re funny, caring, can be kind of scary at times – which I’m sort of into, to be honest.”

“I’m not scary,” you protested, pouting slightly. However, what? He was into it? That made you feel funny…

He smirked. “I beg to differ.”

You rolled your eyes. “What else do I check off?”

He didn’t need time to think. “You’re insanely beautiful.” Your dumbfounded expression made him second guess himself. He pulled a face. “Yikes. Too cheesy?”

You grinned, getting a hold of yourself. “Maybe, but then again, maybe I like that.” How could you not like being called beautiful? How could you not like receiving a compliment? Especially from him.

He smiled, gazing into your eyes as he leant forward. You felt immediate warmth when his hand cupped yours across the table. This was the first time he’d touched you, right? Your mind was a blur right now, unable to recall two hours ago, let alone two weeks ago. When he spoke, you only felt warmer, the soft timbre of his voice fluttering through your whole body. “I’m really attracted to you, Y/N.”

And what could you say to that? You swallowed, wetting your throat, realising it had become dry. He was waiting for a reply, amused by something – your blank looking face most probably. He had the ability to render you speechless, and he knew it. He liked it.

Well, no, not on your watch. You’d get the last word. You’d win.

Composing yourself, you slipped your hand from under his, tapping it lightly, as if you were consoling him. “I’ve said it once already, but you’re not so bad yourself, Mr. Kim.”

Taken aback, he chuckled quietly in bemusement, shaking his head. “You’re going to give me wrinkles.”

A man of his word, he did kiss you on the cheek after the date was over. He waited until he had driven you home and opened the door for you to step out of the car – ever the gentleman, you’d teased. You stood by the little gate that lead a pathway to your front door, and that’s where he’d leant down to place his lips ever so lightly against the top of your left cheek. You smiled shyly up at him, unable to play it cool this time.

He looked a little rosy in the face too, unsure as he smiled. “I had a lovely time tonight.”

“Me too,” you agreed. “Can I take you out next time?” You surprised yourself by the offer, that kiss must have shot some confidence into you.

He looked surprised too, but into it, tilting his head in curiosity as he looked down at you. “Where do you suggest?”

“My place?” Okay, so it wasn’t ‘taking him out’ but you liked the idea best. Soojung could stay over Tae’s. She owed you one. “I can cook for you,” you offered, a hand unconsciously reaching for the collar of his jacket, straightening it for him. “To you know, return the favour of you paying for dinner to say sorry for paying for my car to get fixed.”

His hand clasped around yours, dropping it between your bodies to hold it as he chuckled.

“This is getting a little confusing now.” He swung your hand gently and you curled your little finger around his loosely. You could get used to this physical contact. It felt ordinary, like you’d been doing it forever. “Can’t we just call it dating and have done?”

You rolled your shoulders with a sigh, sounding casual and unbothered. “I guess, if it’s easier.”

Seokjin’s laugh got lower, his face closer. His eyes kept looking between your eyes and lips, and you realised your heart was beginning to beat slower, or was it faster? You couldn’t tell anymore, but you could hear it pounding lightly inside your ears. You were in the middle of playing the same game – eyes then lips, eyes then lips – the seconds feeling more like minutes as he leant in closer and closer, but then –

You spotted Soojung in the window as you happened to glance behind Seokjin’s shoulder. She had now totally bypassed the voile curtain, thinking she was Miss. Inconspicuous with the lights off. The street lighting was as bright as anything though, and all you could see was her face glowing like a ghost as she ruined the moment entirely. You were not having your first kiss with Seokjin in front of her prying eyes.

Seokjin realised your attention was elsewhere now, awkwardly pulling back to scratch his neck with his free hand. You clutched at the hand that was holding yours, not wanting him to think you’d blown him off. He didn’t say anything though, just continued your conversation with a bemused smile. “Um, so what are you going to cook?”

“What do you like?” You asked, only half your attention on him. Maybe you could silently signal to Soojung, tell her to get the hell out of the window before Seokjin noticed.

“I’m easy,” you heard him reply. “What’s your speciality?”

“Uh…” Think Y/N, think. Distracted you said the first thing that popped into your head, still trying to force Soojung away with just your eyeballs. “Lasagne.”

“Lasagne?” He sounded interested.

You finally met his eyes for more than five seconds, feeling a little panicky. “Yeah, my World Famous Italian lasagne.”

Oh no.

Seokjin laughed, dropping your hand to cup your cheek instead. Earlier, if this had happened you would have spontaneously combusted but now you had a case of the Nosey Friend and you couldn’t concentrate to save your life. “Okay, now you’re just talking big.”

You couldn’t help it, your eyes attempting to dart past his shoulder again. He noticed – he’d probably noticed this entire time, an eyebrow of his raising. “What is going on over my shoulder?”

You tried to stop him, clinging to his elbow, but he turned around anyway, eyes falling on Soojung immediately. You saw her instantly panic and jump back, dropping the curtain in front of the window again. “That’s just Soojung,” you sighed. “Ignore her, she’s an idiot.”

Seokjin was deeply amused, laughing as he turned back to you. “So, is next Saturday okay?” You pressed.

He grinned. “Saturday sounds perfect to me.”

As you said your goodbyes, Seokjin turned to the window and gave a small wave, chortling to himself. You couldn’t see Soojung anymore but you just knew she was still spying. But relieved Seokjin didn’t seem fazed, you made your way inside, giving Seokjin a wave by the door as he pulled off, feeling happy, yet a little sad the night was over already. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d enjoyed yourself like that.

It was only when you were inside did you remember what you’d just done, too preoccupied to think properly beforehand. Oh God, the lasagne. Saturday night was going to be a disaster.

Soojung came running into the entry way, interrupting your freak out. “He saw me! He saw me!” Her voice was shrill, and you couldn’t tell if it was because she was embarrassed or excited.

“That’s what happens when you spy, idiot,” you swiped, kicking off your heels. The instant relief brought you no comfort. “Soo, I’ve done something stupid.” You admitted.

She instantly looked worried. “What? What have you done?”

You sighed, already feeling like a fool. “Okay so, I invited him over next weekend and said I’d cook for him.”

“Girl is horny for that D–”

“Shut up, that’s not the problem,” you stopped her. She looked puzzled. “You were distracting me!” It was all her fault. You weren’t taking the blame. “He asked me what I was gonna cook and I told him I make a World Famous Italian lasagne!”

Your best friend was silent for an extended second, making sense of your words before she burst out laughing. Highly dramatic, practically doubled over, splitting her sides. Even more dramatic than you for freaking out over a damn lasagne.

“You have never made lasagne in your entire life!” She exclaimed. “What were you thinking?”

“It was your fault!” It was also her fault you didn’t get to kiss Seokjin properly too. But you weren’t going to bring that up now, unable to bear the constant teasing that would ensue.

“My fault?!” She laughed. You just rolled your eyes. She did not appreciate that at all. “Whatever. I can’t wait to see your “World Famous Italian lasagne.” Make sure to save me some, won’t you?”

“Right,” you huffed. “For that, I’m not telling you how the date went.”

She soon changed her tune, needing all the details just to be able to sleep tonight…

Written 2020 - 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

#jin fanfic #bts fanfic #seokjin fanfic #floralseokjin:writings #fic:mls

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thesolotomyhan · 4 years

Text

a/n: ive been rewatching narcos mexico to get back in the mood and here we are mis amores! so this turned into i guess what you would call dating them would include hc? but yah-anyways here we go i hope you enjoy :(

taglist: @fandomnerd16 @visintaes @sheeshgivemeabreak @artemiseamoon @all-tings-diego @umvirgo @redhairedace

let me know if you want to be added!

Warnings: a touch of NSFW!

OK BUT CAN I JUST SAY THE OLD MIGUEL GIVES ME SUCH INNOCENT FUCKING VIB ES

LIKE?? THE PERFECT HUSBAND WHO CHERISHES YOU WITH LITTLE DETAILS AND KISSE S- im SObbing

because i just know its obvious pre narco miguel is such a different vibe than the miguel angel we all know- literally 2 different persons you feel??

and like i get the feeling it would be this amor sincero where he would bring you a ramo de flores every time he possibly can because he knows stuff like that makes you happy and just-

nothing beats the feeling of taking the little money he has left over to make you smile the best way he knows how,, by trying to give you the world with little presents and such-

just trying to be as detallista as much as he can,, needing a way to show you how much he loves you :(

and i dont know why i get hardcore aesthetics of him coming home every day,, whistling a little tune and walking into your home with him to the smell of your cooking-

him coming up behind you,, holding your back into his chest, his arms wrapping around you as he kisses your shoulder and neck like- “ya te llegue, mi amor”

WOw,, all while hes rocking both of your bodies side to side,, your small laugh filling up the room and his heart :( its so fucking domestic i CRY

or get this,, maybe on some days him drowning you in besitos,, picking you up and twirling you around like perhaps that time aviles allowed him to go to guadalajara or the time rafas weed grew in the backyard-

:(( just him being all excited,, that hes finally getting his foot in the door to give you a better life hes always dreamed of giving you :( i cant

since we’re on this subject i just feel like hes always promising you that he’s going to give you the world one day,, take you to places you deserve to go and just treat you like a reina

im soft at the thought of him praying for diosito so that day can come sooner

especially when he comes home late at night, when you already fell asleep or him not being able to sleep during some nights and seeing the way youre curled into him,,

like him saying hes already bendecido with you,, but he wants you to have everything in life for sticking with him and being his number one supporter :(( i need to go cry

now hear me out ok- because the old miguel would be into slow and sensual sex because i feel like he would be so passionate and i dont know why-

its always him taking all the time in the world to feel your body-

caressing his hands everywhere just to see the way you let out soft little gasps

just getting to know every inch,, kissin g down your body while your hands would be softly tangling in his hair-

im so sorry in advance but him kissing in between your thighs ?? looking up at you-

just loving the way you start to tremble before he even gets to your core,, his soft laugh whispering how fucking beautiful you look for him-

Wow i cant- him eating you out would be so soft but intense,, all of his focus would be on your clit like sucking on it gently as he moves his hands to hold your hips down - pleas e no one look at me right now

like i can feel it in my bones that he would love working his fingers inside of you too-

just this slow rhythm of his fingers pumping in and out of you as he moves up to kiss you- drowning out your moans-

needing to make you cum at least once before hes inside of you-

just softly praising you when he watches your hips rise, your head falling back as you hold onto his shoulders,, his teeth sinking into your neck- wow i cant

but back to what i was saying because i just know he would always do these slow and deep thrusts when he has you under him-

his diosa,, bringing your legs to cling onto him holding one of your thighs,, your hands desperately scratching down his back as he thrusts into you steadily-

his groans mixing in with your whimpers when he watches your body rock with his-

im sorry but him softly chuckling down at you when he watches your eyes roll back,, your hands gripping the bedsheets when he reaches his thumb down to play with your clit- this is going to turn into smut yall im sorrY-

ok but back to where we were- the old school love?? please -

like im talking about him always taking you out during the weekends, maybe even after he comes home from work,, but just

you and him walking through the park,, holding handssss :((

sharing antojitos all the time with each other,

the two of you always having the biggest heart eyes for one another,, it never fails :(

i cant- the idea of him reminiscing a whole bunch of things with you when youre both walking around

like, “mira over there by that tree,,, we shared our first kiss there when we were plebes enamorados, te recuerdas, mi amor?” :(( and just the fucking SMILE on his face when he looks over at you :((

:( him bringing your hand up to kiss it,, his other hand holding the side of your head,, his soft lovesick fucking eyes like “nunca olvides que eres mi mundo,, desde chiquillo me traes asi mija” my :((( im getting emotional

like you two would be the couple goals and the talk of the pueblo,, los pajaritos enamorados :(

listen becasue he definitely has this picture of you always with him,, taking it with him wherever he goes,,

my heart- like him talking to it before he does something,, reminding himself that everything he does is all for you,, probably kisses it like a good luck charm :((( i-

but you know what?? also being close :) to rafa:)) as well tho:)

like that scene where rafa was so excited telling miguel angel that their sinsemilla weed grew,,

and him excitedly running into your house,, his cunada :), yelling your name that your backyard is the best thing that had happened for his weed garden :))

oh my god,, if you and miguel had kids,, rafa is going to be the favorite padrino all the time with them :(( ugh

but being best friends with him makes my heart hurt,, because youre probably always telling him before he leaves with miguel angel all the time like “cuidamelo, por favor” and rafa giving you that dumbass smile he does but reassuring you-

i can definitely see you being the person behind pushing miguel angel to tell aviles about expanding into guadalajara-

not so much because you care about the lujos he wants to give you if this works out but

more so because you can see he has a bigger passion for it instead of being a cop

so youre just always reassuring him when he asks you if youre sure about this

just telling him that he should do whatever makes him happier and that youre always going to be right there with him- :((

wow but im also so emo at the thought of him giving you little updates when he starts forming all the plazas together-

just - excitement in his voice when hes talking to you because lo esta logrando,, so close to giving you the life you deserve by his side,, playing with your picture he has in his hands i :((

i just,, old miguel is just so domestic with you i go soft everytime i see him

#narcos mexico imagine #narcos mexico imagines #miguel angel felix gallardo x reader #miguel angel felix gallardo #narcos mexico #narcos: mexico

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mearcatsreturns · 3 years

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15 for Abby/Luka

For reasons ;)

Under a cut because it's long.

July 2003

To: Luka Kovac <“[email protected]”>

From: Abby Lockhart <“[email protected]”>

Subject: I’m drowning and praying ghosts are real

Dear Luka,

Something about knowing that I’ll never talk to you again is just unbearable. I’ll never laugh at your malapropisms, look into your beautiful eyes, feel your strong hands holding mine, or make love to you again. There won’t be any more jokes about jam and cheese on toast, or you teasing me for my weak but constant supply of coffee. I’ll never hear your amazing, deranged laughter after you prank someone again. No more of your hugs—which are somehow the best hugs in the world. Because you’re gone.

It’s been three days since we got the call telling us you died thousands of miles from home, whether that’s here in Chicago or in Croatia. I didn’t know your dad’s name, Luka. We needed to call him, and I didn’t know. How did I not know? And now I can’t. I mean, L’Alliance told us his name, but the fact that I’ll never learn pieces of your history, of the wonderful man you are, FROM you...how am I supposed to go on and live my life?

For years, I’ve thought medicine was my great thwarted love. I’ve wanted to be a doctor for so long, and I thought I was bitter about having to let go of that dream. Now I wonder. I let obstacles get in the way of pursuing medicine, and it’s made me...well, it’s part of why I was so unhappy. But that makes me think about how I also let obstacles get in the way of us. I was happy with you, you know, until I let fear and my mother and Carter get in the way. God, I wish I could do that over again. We could have had everything, and if I hadn’t gotten in my own way, I’d be happy. I think maybe I could have made you happy, too.

It’s funny. I knew things with Carter weren’t working, and he implied you were part of it. I said it wasn’t, but then five minutes later, I found out you were—are—dead. And I realized you were the reason, or one of the big ones. As soon as Chuny told me, I knew I loved you and had loved you for years. Yeah. Great timing, isn’t it? I keep thinking that maybe I could have kept you from going if I had known or if I had told you. I didn’t want you to go when I thought you were my very attractive friend and ex that I still was fond of. Knowing that I love you—how do I move past that? Knowing that I lost you, first to my stupidity and then to death?

I just...I miss you, and I don’t when I’ll stop, or how to. Susan caught me crying on my last shift, and I didn’t even know what to say. I feel like I’ve been crying or standing still, brittle and stuck in time, since I heard the news. I can’t, Luka. I know I have to keep on moving, and I thought maybe writing you would help. I know you’ll never see this, never have a chance to respond. But the idea that some fragments of your soul linger and can maybe sense...I don’t know. That I’m writing? What I’m feeling? Jesus, this is crazy.

All my love,

Abby

Abby angrily swipes the tears from her eyes. God, what’s the point of writing this? He’ll never see hsi email or her again. Just...without Luka, how can the world be anything but grim and sad and pointless?

She laughs mirthlessly. Maybe it doesn’t matter. No, she knows it doesn’t. Because Abby knows the futility of it, aches with the meaninglessness, she presses send without another thought.

&&&

Three days after that, a miracle occurs. Luka, the Lazarus of this new millennium, comes back from the dead. He’s never been dead, and maybe, Abby thinks, there’s a God above after all. So many people wish for this exact boon, and she—they, the world—gets it. Some higher power believes this planet is a better place with Luka Kovac in it, and Abby is ecstatic.

Until she remembers the email and that they can’t be unsent.

It’s fine. She’ll be fine. Luka is coming back, apparently with a French nurse. Maybe he’ll just delete it without reading it. Maybe it didn’t go through—how does email work for the dead, and how quickly is all that processed?

Abby shakes her head. It doesn’t matter; Luka is alive and returning to them. She can handle a little awkwardness in the face of the sheer joy of knowing the world is a brighter, kinder place. He’s coming back, and that’s what’s important.

&&&

August 2003

It takes Luka almost a week after returning to Chicago to convince Kerry and the other staff to let him go back to his apartment. Even so, they only agree when Gillian assures them she’ll see to his every need.

Abby winces when she hears that, and it makes something flutter in Luka’s chest. Which probably isn’t good for his malaria, but the hope...that is.

It’s another two days of lying in bed before he has the energy to ask Gillian to bring him his laptop. At this point, it’s been months since he’s checked his email, and Luka grimaces at the undoubtedly horrible state of his inbox. He briefly considers never checking again and just getting a new one, but he knows his father struggled to add him to his contacts once already. To expect it of him again would be absurd.

With a sigh, Luka opens his email. It’s just as bad as he feared. He snorts at the myriad messages about Viagra, Nigerian princes, and Russian brides, deleting them without thought. He saves a couple from his dad. He slowly whittles down his inbox, but he freezes when he gets to one email in particular, sent about a month ago.

It’s from Abby, during the time everyone thought he was dead.

Luka considers calling and asking her if someone hacked her email or is sending spam from her account, but the subject line...it looks real. And Abby’s been odd around him lately, seeming both deliriously happy to see him and awkwardly nervous.

His heart pounds, and he clicks to open it. If this is a spammer, they’re probably about to get whatever they want.

&&&

Abby pours herself another coffee, internally swearing as she prepares for the last two hours of her shift. Deciding to go back to school is great; having to coordinate all the details is less thrilling and leaves her tired and cranky.

Frank ducks his head into the lounge, beady eyes narrowing on her. “Hey, Abby. The Croat is on the phone for you. Line 2. Try to get back out there as fast as you can, Weaver’s yelling at the med students about IVs.”

“Okay, Frank,” Abby says, though she flushes and her palms start to sweat. It’s fine. She can always hide the panic and butterflies in her stomach with sarcasm. It has yet to fail her.

Frank gives her one last suspicious look, then nods and heads back to Admit.

Abby takes a deep breath, then picks up the phone. “Hey, Luka?”

“It’s me. Glad I could reach you. How are you?” He sounds...ugh. So good. And eager and happy, and her heart could leap right out of her chest.

“Doing all right. I just have a couple hours left on this shift, and it hasn’t been too awful today. Only one MVA. How about you? You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Recovering. Listen, did you want to come over for dinner?”

“Please tell me you’re not trying to cook.”

“What? I’m a good cook, even if you don’t appreciate wonderful, traditional Croatian dishes,” he says with a chuckle.

“Luka, you just got out of the hospital five days ago. You still need to be resting.”

“Abby, don’t worry so much. I was just kidding. I have some sandwiches from Manny’s, and Anna sent me home with lots of matzo ball soup too.”

Abby bites her lip. Of course she wants to go. But the prospect of spending the evening with Gillian cooing over Luka, knowing that she shares a bed with him, is decidedly less appealing. And there’s the email she sent, which Luka hasn’t acknowledged. He might well have deleted it, or he’s giving her a gracious out.

Her conscience twinges as soon as she thinks about bailing, though. Didn’t she promise herself she wouldn’t take life for granted anymore? She’ll go back to med school, she’ll have dinner with Luka when he asks.

“Abby?”

She starts, realizing she needs to respond. “Yeah, sorry. Yeah, I can do that. I can be there an hour after my shift, if that’s okay.”

“Sounds great. Looking forward to seeing you.”

“Me too.” He has no idea how much, even if she wishes she knew for sure that he’d deleted the email.

&&&

Abby rings Luka’s doorbell three and a half hours later. She’d meant to come straight from work, but after a patient vomited on her, she decided to head home, shower, and splurge on a taxi to Luka’s. The poor man is recovering from being deathly ill and doesn’t need County’s fumes making things worse.

There’s the sound of the deadbolt sliding, and Luka answers the door, grinning happily at her. “Good, you made it! Come on in!”

“I did. Sorry it took me longer than expected.” Abby steps into his apartment, looking around. It’s been such a long time since she’s been here, and she notes the subtle changes in the art and decor.

“No worries. I know how it goes.” He places a hand at the small of her back, guiding her inside.

Abby stiffens for a second at how his touch burns even through the layers of her shirt and light jacket, but she relaxes, enjoying the feel while she waits for Gillian to appear and end the fleeting joy.

Luka is unfazed. “Now, of course we can just eat the sandwiches, but if you want to heat up the matzo ball soup, you can. Since you don’t want me standing,” he says with a wink.

Abby smiles back, shaking her head. “Oh, I see how it is. Make the woman who worked all day do more household work when she gets ho—wait, where’s Gillian? Isn’t she supposed to be taking care of you?”

“She’s not here,” he says simply.

Going to the fridge and taking out the containers of soup, Abby places them in the microwave. Is Gillian out for the evening, or is she gone gone? “Shouldn’t you be with her? Or her here with you, whatever.”

Luka is quiet for a long minute, and Abby wonders if he intends to answer. Finally, he breaks the silence. “I asked her to leave.”

Abby’s pulse speeds up. “What? Why?”

Luka takes a deep breath, clearly ready to respond, and—

The microwave dings, and they both jump. Exchanging a sheepish look, they laugh.

“Look, let’s get some food, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

Abby dishes up their soup and sandwiches, preparing trays so they can sit on the couch. Luka turns on the television, and Abby’s heart rate comes back under control. They sit together in companionable silence while they eat and watch Thom and Jai and the rest of the Fab 5 whip some hapless lawyer’s life into order. When they finish their meal, Abby cleans up, taking the trays back to the kitchen.

She heads back to the couch at the opposite end from Luka, not daring to get closer when she really has no idea what’s going on.

Luka clears his throat and mutes the TV. “So, yeah. I asked Gillian to leave.”

“Oh. So, um, did you break up?”

“She was never my girlfriend, really. She has a boyfriend back in Montreal, they just…” Luka shrugs and runs a hand through his hair.

Abby is more lost than ever. “Ah.”

Taking a deep breath, Luka continues, finally looking over at her. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful she helped me get here and took care of me, but we were never serious.”

Something starts to tug at Abby’s heart, squeezing and twisting and kicking to get free. Is it...hope? “Well, I’m glad she got you here safe, but you should have someone staying with you while you recover, Luka. Malaria is dangerous.”

He gives her a look. “I know how dangerous malaria is. I’m getting better. And besides, it wouldn’t have been fair for me to ask her to stay when things are over because I’m in love with someone else.”

Her heart leaps into her throat. “Someone else?” she squeaks.

Luka nods, swallowing. “Yeah. And I have a reason to think she might be in love with me too.” He slides over to her side of the couch, reaching for her hand.

Abby meets his eyes—those beautiful green eyes that are the best color in the world—and squeezes his hand, incapable of words. Does he mean…?

With his other hand, Luka reaches up and cups her cheek, running his thumb along the subtle arch of her cheekbone. “Abby, if you’ve changed your mind since you sent that email, please tell me to shut up.”

That stupid, ridiculous email might be the best thing she’s ever done in her life. She leans into his hand, licking her lips as she shakes her head slightly. “I haven’t changed my mind. I didn’t mean for you to see it and hoped I could learn how to hack computers and delete it but—”

Luka cuts her off. “I would never forgive you if you managed to delete it. You wouldn’t believe how much faster I healed after that.”

Abby leans forward, sliding into Luka’s waiting arms. “Then maybe I’ll write you some more emails.”

“Emails aren’t what I want right now,” Luka says.

Funny, Abby doesn’t either. Then his lips brush hers, and all her worries and fears fade away. She knows she has to tell him about med school and he needs to finish recuperating, but when Luka deepens their kiss and pulls her closer, Abby ceases to think at all.

She has Luka back, and now they have each other again.

#er #nbc er #er ff #luby #luby ff #abby lockhart #luka kovac #<3 #my fanfic

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mbti-notes · 3 years

Note

Hi MBTI. Not type related but I still want to ask because of your social insight. What does respect mean to you? I’ve met people who preach feminism but do not communicate honestly and clearly with girls they sleep around with (eg ghosting), which makes me think that feminism is just political theory, but in practice it means to truly respect other people regardless of their gender (ie being honest, clear and able to put ones anxieties/insecurities aside momentarily to ensure the well-being of

[con't: the other person). I asked myself exactly what respect entails, it’s a concept Ive taken for granted and thought I knew but realized I’ve never actually read/heard someone really putting into words. I’ve been reading online and a lot of people seem to muddle it with the word “admiration” and I think I disagree because I think respect is more about being open to sharing common ground and not placing someone above or below you, as admiration could cause. To me respect and equality are more similar, and that’s how I linked it to feminism. How would you define respect? And what do you think about this? Thank you and all the best!<3 ]

You're mixing several issues together, which makes your question too complicated. Respect and making moral judgments are big enough topics without adding gender into the mix.

I remember once, a long time ago, I was grappling with a difficult moral dilemma. I approached a few people to talk about it. One person judged me as "incompetent" because the matter seemed quite easy in their mind. One person judged me as "weak" because I wasn't willing to just do what I wanted to do. One person judged me as "fake" because they thought I was only worried about appearing like a moral person in the eyes of others. One person judged me as "selfish" because I wasn't willing to sacrifice myself for the greater good. One person judged me as "overthinking" the matter because I was worried about more than just myself.

Of course, not being assholes, their judgments came out as veiled implications rather than direct criticisms. However, this example reveals some truth: People's moral judgments are often quite egocentric, a mere reflection of their own subjective ego conflicts about what it means to be a "good" or "bad" person. Whichever way they choose to conceptualize morality is what they expect of others (i.e. projection).

We all have to make moral judgments and navigate difficult moral situations. One thing that significantly influences people's ability to make good moral decisions is their level of ego development, you can read more about it in the Type Dev Guide. Suffice it to ask: Is your conception of morality more rule-based (i.e. about the power to judge) or more virtue-based (i.e. about the wisdom to do right)?

The more egocentric someone is, the more invested they are in maintaining a positive self-image, and the more sensitive they are to any data that would threaten their ego and suggest that they are a "bad" person. Egocentric people are more likely to use a rule-based approach to morality because its starkness and simplicity allow for easy detection and deflection of ego threats. If morality is a simple matter of knowing the rules of right and wrong, then moral judgments are a simple matter of whether people followed the rules.

For example, society says that you should work hard in school, get a good job, earn money, and your reward is that you are able to afford your life. Therefore, if you didn't succeed in school, you didn't get a good job, you can't earn much money, you can't afford the things you need, then there is something "wrong" with you. In short, you failed to follow the rules, so you deserve to be punished with the negative consequence of poverty. Rule-based morality is "safe" for the ego because there's no ambiguity that makes you doubt your moral judgment, and hence no reason to doubt your own moral worth.

People often talk about whether someone "deserves" respect, often because they want to make an argument that someone doesn't deserve respect for something bad they did. The more "admirable" someone is, the more respect they deserve? I will respect this person because they are "nice"? I will not extend respect to that person because they are "mean"?

If you approach respect with these "rules", you essentially get to play god. You get to sit on a high horse and judge people as worthy or unworthy. If you obey the rules of being an "admirable" person, you are called a "good" person, so you get rewarded with respect; whereas if you disobey the rules, you are a "bad" person, so you get punished with less respect or even disrespect. This way of thinking is rather childish. Notice how kids argue that they don't have to follow the rules when they see someone else breaking the rules. Their idea of morality boils down to whether they themselves win or lose.

Children, understandably, think in stark terms of reward and punishment because they are only starting to learn what it means to be an "acceptable" member of society. They only see what's on the surface because they aren't yet capable of more sophisticated moral reasoning. When an adult hasn't learned more sophisticated moral reasoning, they continue with the superficial idea of reward and punishment, only they take it further. Now that they are "adult" by society's superficial age standard, they possess the social status and thus the social power to dole out rewards and punishments to anyone "beneath" them in status. In essence, "I was subject to the rules as a child, and now I get to enforce the rules as an adult."

Adding gender into the mix, a lot of people abide by "rules" that they learned in childhood about what a "man" is, what a "woman" is, how they are different, and how people "should" behave according to their gender. Men, as a social group, are taught to obey one set of rules, while women, as a social group, are taught to obey another set of rules. This social conditioning shows up in people's implicit gender biases as well as outright gender discrimination.

If men, as a group, possess the majority of social power and privilege, they become the default reference point for everyone. Social and political decisions are predominantly made from their point of view, in accordance with their needs and desires, and this encourages them to treat women as objects that are only worthy of respect as long as they prop up masculine power. Women, as a group, are taught to see the world through the masculine perspective and believe that masculinity is superior to femininity, so they must behave submissively and serve their purpose to men.

As an individual man, if you follow the rules and elevate masculinity over femininity, you get rewarded with status and power. If you don't follow the rules, you get punished with lower status and being branded as undesirable (not a "real" man). As a woman, if you follow the rules and elevate masculinity over femininity, you get rewarded with some privilege and favors, but always safely within the bounds of masculine dominance. If you don't follow the rules, you get cruelly shamed into compliance and even ostracized if you are deemed a lost cause (not a "real" woman).

It is very difficult for individuals to counter social conditioning because so much of the learning happens unconsciously. It's a steep uphill battle for people to develop more self-awareness about the "rules" they have been taught to follow. And even when one becomes aware of having implicit biases or prejudices, it's not easy to rise above them. It takes a lot of conscious effort to go against lessons that were ingrained into your psyche since infancy. Furthermore, when you're a member of the social group that enjoys more power and privilege, there's very little incentive for you to change, in fact, you have much more incentive to preserve the status quo, which is why inequality is so difficult to remedy.

The unconscious nature of bias and prejudice is why ego development is very important. When you reach higher levels of ego development, your self-awareness grows, and that allows you to gradually shift from a simplistic rule-based morality to a more complex virtue-based morality which recognizes that moral issues aren't always black-and-white. Virtue-based morality is about what's actually in people's hearts and the role that moral conscience plays in decision making.

Taking the example from above: WHY did the person fail in school? Was it simply because they didn't follow the rules and work as hard as they should have? Or was it due to factors that were beyond their control, such as: an untreated learning disability, lack of school funding due to living in a poor area, a dysfunctional family situation that interfered with their learning process, etc?

Rule-based morality is about compliance and shaming people into the appearance of compliance. Virtue-based morality is about understanding and addressing the root causes of moral failing. To be capable of more complex moral reasoning is to dig deeper and ask more questions to get to the truth, which means that morality is no longer a simple matter. The gray areas start to appear, you start to see exceptions to the rule, and you become more empathetic because you're looking into people's hearts and seeing how they have suffered unfairly. You no longer stereotype and generalize about people but treat everyone as a unique individual with unique circumstances to take into account. Egocentric people don't want this level of moral responsibility because then they'd have to always question themselves about whether they are truly doing the right thing, and they would constantly have to confront the many ways they fall short in their morality.

When you truly see the harm of judging people by superficial appearances, you would never want to be a victim of it, and that helps you understand that you shouldn't be a perpetrator of it, either. When you truly see the harm of treating people unfairly based on gender, you would never want to be a victim of it, and that helps you understand that you shouldn't be a perpetrator of it, either. When you're able to empathize with people who were treated unfairly or victimized by unjust rules, you can't help but want to make things fairer for everyone (yes, equality). Virtue-based morality is about moral conscience in terms of what kind of person you hope to be, what kind of influence you want to have, what kind of society you want to live in, and whether you are actually a virtuous person in your heart rather than just appearing like one in public. When you show respect to people, it's not because they "deserve" it, it's because you know that you being respectful to everyone is the first step in helping to create a society that is more respectful to everyone.

#morality #moral development #moral philosophy #respect #virtue #rules #gender #egocentrism #empathy #ask

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writingfortoomanyfandoms · 4 years

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Penny For Your Thoughts (IV)

Pairing: Young!Sirius Black x Reader

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N has lived in the Potter household since she was eight years old. Even amongst the Potters, whom she knew loved her, she has never felt truly accepted, never felt like anything other than a burden. Until she went to Hogwarts. For the first time she had friends who weren’t forced to act as such, she had a family who loved her by choice. There, she met Sirius, the first and only person to ever truly understand what she was going through, to listen to her and not judge.

Chapter Warnings: Ummm not sure - maybe swearing?

A/N: And here’s part four! Sorry, it’s like an hour later than usual bc I’m in pain and was asleep so didn’t see that it had turned 4 already but I hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think - especially if you’re on the taglist, hearing your comments always inspires me to keep on writing, so please do let me know. If you wish to be added to the taglist send me an ASK, replies to the parts asking to be added onto it won’t be responded to

Also just to let you know, there’s been a bit of a time skip between this chapter and the previous, this is set at the beginning of the christmas holidays, there are gonna be a couple of these time jumps in the next few chapters so keep that in mind!

“Hey, mind if we join you?” James stood in the doorway of the train compartment containing the group of Hufflepuff girls, flanked by Peter and Remus, all of them holding their trunks.

“Sure,” Beatrice moved her legs to make space for them to sit down on the chairs beside her.

Jessica curled up further into herself, her eyes staring resolutely at the book in her hands, her cheeks a light pink as Remus sat on the same bench at her, ensuring to keep a fair amount of distance between him and the shy girl, though did his best to offer her a reassuring smile.

Liane and Y/N were sitting on the floor in between the two benches, playing a game of Exploding Snap with Liane’s deck. Beatrice was watching, having decided to sit out for the first round under the pretence of taking a nap.

Y/N knew better though. Beatrice had confided in her that morning at breakfast that she was dreading going home for the Christmas holidays.

James grinned at Beatrice and sat down beside her, his eyes looking down at the game as well and Peter took the chair next to him, also feigning interest.

“Hang on - where’s Sirius?” Y/N asked, having expected to see the final part of their little group enter into the compartment behind them, but there was no sign of him.

“He’s not going home for the holidays,” James informed her with a slight shrug of his shoulders. Y/N frowned at the news.

“He’s staying at Hogwarts?” Y/N asked in shock.

“That does tend to be the alternative to going home,” James confirmed, giving her a hard look, clearly telling her not to press the subject just yet. Y/N looked at him silently for a moment before sighing and nodding her head.

“Hey - keep playing, entertain me!” Beatrice groaned, throwing an empty chocolate frog box at Y/N’s head. She glared at her best friend, trying to hide her smile.

“I feel used,” Liane commented, frowning at Beatrice who winked at her.

“If you’re lucky I’ll pay you for your services.”

“Now I just feel… dirty.” Liane shuddered a little. “Dirty and used.”

“James? Peter? Remus? Fancy playing?” Y/N spoke loudly to cut off the conversation between Liane and Beatrice. She held up the deck of exploding snap.

“Alright then,” James agreed, moving down to join the girls seated on the floor. As expected, Peter was quick to follow suit.

“Oh - I wanted to talk to you!” Liane exclaimed, pointing at James with her eyes gleaming mischievously. Y/N saw James exchange confused looks with Remus and Peter before shooting a questioning one at Y/N, who bit her lip and ducked her head to try and hide her laughter.

“Yeah?” James asked uncertainly. “What about?” As far as Y/N was aware, James and Liane had never actually had a conversation that Y/N wasn’t present for, but she could guess what she was about to tell him.

“We were talking a few nights ago,” Liane started, a serious look on her face. Even Jessica had raised her eyes from the book she was pretending to read, peeking over the top of the pages to watch the interaction and Y/N could tell that she was trying hard not to laugh.

“That’s nice?” James said unsurely when Liane didn’t immediately continue. The red-headed girl gave a nod of approval, as though James had said just the right thing.

“And you came up.”

“I knew you couldn’t resist talking about me,” James beamed at Y/N who rolled her eyes, finishing dealing out the cards and picking up her pile.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Liane waved him off. “Anyway - you and I would have cute children.”

James’ face slackened into one of utter shock, his eyes widening as he stared at her.

“I’m sorry?” He spluttered.

“It’s the truth - the two of us would have really cute children!”

“Well children aren’t exactly the first thing on my mind,” James responded a little faintly, still staring at Liane, who looked unconcerned as she picked up her own cards.

Remus, Beatrice and Y/N were in stitches from the interaction, while Jessica had lifted her book again to hide her own quiet laughter and Peter was tittering nervously, looking at James as though he was unsure of whether or not it was okay for him to laugh.

“Maybe start with a proposal,” Beatrice offered between her laughs.

“Well obviously not,” Liane scoffed, doing a wonderful job at maintaining a serious expression, despite her lips twitching, obviously wanting to grin. “But, hypothetically speaking...”

“Hypothetically speaking we’d have cute kids?”

“Really cute kids,” Liane emphasised with a solemn nod of her head.

“Sorry to disappoint you but, unfortunately James is only interested in one red head,” Remus told her, managing to recover himself but there was still a wide, amused grin on his face.

“Now if Evans was to propose we have kids, that would be a whole other matter,” James confirmed immediately.

“Potter - you’re missing the point,” Liane sighed. “I don’t want to have kids with you - or, at least, the only reason I would is because I could enter them into beauty competitions and get money for it.”

“I feel like that’s morally wrong to some degree,” Y/N stated, playing her next card.

“In this hypothetical world I’ve created it’s okay to do things that are morally ambiguous.”

“So they’re not morally ambiguous at all?” Remus questioned.

“Precisely.”

“Has Lily literally ever spoken to you other than to tell you to leave her alone?” Y/N asked, frowning at James.

“Yes,” he stated defiantly, jutting his chin in the air.

“Sometimes she asks him to pass him things at dinner.” Remus confirmed, laughing and dodging out of the way when James threw his Exploding Snap cards at him in retaliation.

“Careful with those! They’re not ours!” Liane complained.

“Whose are they, then?”

“Rosa’s,” Y/N shrugged as Remus collected the cards up again and handed them back to James.

“Who’s Rosa?”

“Are you joking?” Beatrice looked at James incredulously and the black-haired boy looked to his two friends, who clearly shared his confusion. “She’s the other Hufflepuff girl in our year.”

“She doesn’t exist,” James stated matter-of-factly.

“I’m sorry?” Y/N spluttered.

“I’ve never even heard of her!”

“There are so many things that you haven’t heard of Jamie, considering how small your brain is, it doesn’t mean that they don’t exist.”

Remus snorted with laughter at her response and shared a grin with Y/N.

“I don’t know who she is either,” Peter piped up, looking glad that he was capable of lending his support to James who responded with a grateful nod.

“She’s in every charms class with you guys and sits with us at meals - you really don’t know who she is?” Liane asked.

“She must be shy,” Remus offered.

“Jess is shy! You still know who she is!” Beatrice protested, pointing at her friend, who went bright-red at being brought so suddenly into the conversation but mustered up as much of a smile as she could.

“Where is she now, then?”

“She’s staying at school over the holidays and offered to lend us her pack of snap,” Y/N explained.

“Well… we’ll ask Sirius when we get back.”

“You’re going to ask Sirius to either confirm or deny the existence of our roommate?”

“Yes.”

“Good - just wanted to double check.”

The remainder of the train-ride back to London passed quickly, filled with games of Exploding Snap and talk about their plans for Christmas - Remus imploring Y/N to do her best to ensure that James actually got some of the homework that they had been set finished, followed by James feigning annoyance at his friends’ mothering.

“James! James over here!” Mrs Potter’s voice rang out across the station, audible to Y/N even over the hubbub of the other parents present to pick up their children for the holidays.

“Y/N!” Mr Potter called as well. James and Y/N smiled at each other, James rolling his eyes a little at the evident enthusiasm in his parents voices.

“You two are going home together?” Peter asked, frowning as he, too, stepped down onto the platform behind James and Y/N.

“The Potters are giving me a lift,” Y/N denied immediately. “Have a good Christmas, Peter!” She gave Peter a brief hug that left him bright pink and embarrassed. “You too, Remus,” she said to the scarred taller boy, who was slightly more ready for her hug, but a light shade of pink dusted his cheeks.

“Have a good Christmas, Y/N!” The Hufflepuff was wrapped into a bone-crushing hug from Liane and half-laughed, half-groaned from it.

“You too!” She hugged Beatrice next before being pulled into a hug by Jessica, who was clearly embarrassed at having initiated it. “I’m gonna send you your present in a few days - is that alright? I’ll send Eric’s with it.”

“You didn’t need to get us anything,” Jessica told her, though she was beaming.

“We’re friends, Jess! It’s a thing!” Y/N teased and Beatrice threw her arm over the shorter girl’s shoulder, beaming down at Jess who seemed to shrink a little in her hold, a bashful smile on her face.

“But if that’s your way of saying that you didn’t get us anything it’s okay, we understand,” Beatrice teased.

“Of course I did!”

“Y/N!”

It was Mr Potter again, laughter in his voice as he shouted for her.

“I gotta go - I’ll see you next term!”

“See you!”

As Y/N rushed through the crowds of Hogwarts students on the platform towards the Potters, her trunk clasped in hand, a few other classmates called out to wish her a good Christmas.

James stood by his parents, his eyebrows raised at her.

“Said goodbye to all your friends?”

“Just because you only have three.”

“Hello, dear,” Mrs Potter was quick to pull Y/N into a hug, Mr Potter tugging her trunk from her hands.

“Hey Mrs Potter,” Y/N smiled before moving to give Mr Potter a quick side-hug.

“Hurry up, Fleamont! I want to hear all about their first term!” Mrs Potter scolded, having already bustled away from the other three towards the barrier.

“And you left me to deal with her alone for four months,” Mr Potter sighed with a teasing eye roll.

On the drive home from the train station, James filled the silence with tales of his first term at Hogwarts, answering all the questions that his parents had about the current staffing and the courses, Y/N occasionally chipping in whenever James would forget to mention something. They had just moved onto the topic of their new friends when they pulled into the drive.

The Potters had a wonderful house. It was rather large, thanks to the wealth of their ancestors, and could be found in the countryside near Oxford. Sweeping fields surrounded it, a forrest lay at the end of their garden where, if they walked far enough, they would find a clearing large enough to play Quidditch in over the summer, Mr Potter having build a store-shed for their equipment.

In the summer, flowers bloomed all over the front yard - even more in the garden and the serenity of the Potter home caused it to be an attractive place for many creatures to take refuge.

This had been one of Y/N’s favourite things about moving in with the Potters - the discovery of the many magical creatures of the wizarding world and being able to learn to care for them from an early age right in their backyard.

“Y/N, dear,” Mrs Potter called before Y/N could follow James up the stairs and onto the first floor, where both of their bedrooms were situated.

“Yes?” She turned, taking in the concerned expressions on both of their faces.

“When James talks about this boy - Sirius…”

“Yeah?” Y/N frowned a little, unsure of exactly where this conversation was going.

“He doesn’t mean Sirius Black as in… as in the Black family, does he?” Mr Potter questioned.

“I mean… that’s his family name, if that’s what you’re asking me,” Y/N responded unsurely.

“Do you happen to know if Sirius is… is a pureblood?”

“He is,” Y/N confirmed and watched as Mr and Mrs Potter exchanged dark looks, as though their worst fears had just been confirmed.

“Is he nice to you?”

“He’s really lovely, Mr Potter,” she assured the man.

“He’s nothing like his family,” James’ voice was cold, having rejoined his family in the kitchen after dropping his possessions in his room. He was frowning at his parents, his arms crossed over his chest. “Sirius is great - his family sucks.”

“Yes, sweetheart - we know what his family are like, we’ve met them,” Mrs Potter said, her voice soothing, wanting to calm down her son. “That’s why were worried about-”

“He’s nothing like them,” James stated, leaving no room for argument. “He was told not to go home for Christmas because his parents needed time to come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t sorted into Slytherin and had associated himself with blood-traitors and mudbloods.”

“James - language.” Mr Potter snapped, looking worriedly at Y/N, who dropped her gaze to the floor.

“Mrs Black’s words, not mine,” James grumbled. “Sorry,” he added after a moment.

“He was told not to go home?” Mrs Potter asked and when Y/N looked at her, she looked utterly heartbroken.

“He’s not like them,” James repeated, sounding a little more defeated than before, his voice filled with emotion and sympathy for his new-found friend.

“That poor boy.”

James’ recount of Sirius’ reasons for remaining at Hogwarts over the holiday remained in Y/N’s mind the rest of the evening, through dinner when she was asked by the Potters about her own friends, about Hufflepuff common room (since neither had been sorted into Hufflepuff, it was new territory for them) and about how much she was enjoying the lessons.

When she wandered up to her room, she was still pondering over Sirius, thinking about what he may be doing at that moment in the lonely castle. If his parents didn’t want him home for Christmas, what would the holiday be like for him?

Sad - most likely. And lonely. Materialistically, Y/N wondered whether he would be receiving any presents - surely James, Remus and Peter would step up for their new friend, perhaps Frank would and besides the Gryffindor boys, Sirius was well-liked in general amongst their year.

Y/N changed into her pyjamas, climbing under the familiar covers of her childhood, debating the best present that she could get for Sirius.

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black imagine #sirius black series #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x hufflepuff!reader #young!sirius black #Penny For Your Thoughts #PFYT #courts writings

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in-my-feels-probably · 1 year

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Hi! Congrats on 1k!! May I have a romantic house of the dragon match up please? I go by she/her and am bi with no preference, so any gender is fine.

I’m about 5’5, dark blue eyes, medium length hair thats kinda too dark to be dirty blonde but not so dark that its light brown with slightly lighter blonde highlights throughout. Ive been told I typically wear what would be considered 90s type of style but leaning away from more feminine things tho I’m not opposed to dresses and all.

I do get pretty anxious when thrown in certain situations rather that be talking to a group of people or just one person. But on occasion and definitely when I get to know someone I never stop talking. I am a ranter and rambler which means I could be ranting about something that happened and then start talking about something else that may or may not be related to the original subject. Basically I will always find something to talk about though I do enjoy listening to other people talk. I am considered the mom friend because I tend to be the most logical. Im also a very determined, stubborn person who usually is kinda pessimistic but still has a huge imagination. And despite all the anxiety I am usually a relatively confident person and am not afraid to take up for anyone I care about. Also I am pretty good in school despite having a kinda bad memory. Also an INTJ, Sagittarius, and Ravenclaw.

I absolutely love writing and have for the longest time rather that be random original stories I make up or the various fanfics I have(lol). I also love drawing and painting and recently realized I’m actually pretty good at making art related to animals and the occasional landscape. I’ve also been a big music fan since I was a kid, I honestly dont know what I would do without it. I also really enjoy reading when I get the chance, like I could spend hours getting consumed by whatever I’m reading. Which also travels into me when I’m watching things. As in I spend a good bit of time just binge watching new or old shows. I also really like walking around and enjoying nature. Theres a few nature trails I love going on and would go to the zoo every weekend if I had the chance. Which also goes along to my love for animals. Also I do like going to random places with my friends.

And thats about all I can think of to say, hope it wasnt too much lol. But anyways, thanks in advance :)

hi!

thank you for participating :)

since you have no gender preference, i’ll tell you out of both the girls and the boys who i ship you with, but i’ll do the full thing for who i think you’re better suited for.

i ship you with daemon and alicent! but i’m gonna go with daemon, hope that’s alright :)

i think daemon would find you really endearing when talking to you. he’d love listening to you ramble about random things, and he’d love it even more when he could fluster you. i don’t think he’d ever purposefully embarrass you, but he’d definitely have his fun. you’re still capable of carrying on banter, which i think he would appreciate. it wouldn’t really matter to him what you were talking about, he just likes hearing you talk. but knowing how stubborn you are, he’d definitely try and push your buttons a bit to get a rise out of you. when it comes to you, you have a lot of bark, but also a little bite. daemon would never feel like he needs to protect you, at least verbally, although he’d step in if he felt like he has to. but he’d probably be more entertained watching you defend yourself with a proud smirk.

i would consider daemon to be a reader. i don’t think he necessarily cares about academics, but he knows the importance of knowing his history and his legacies. for some reason, i think he would be very artistically inclined, but he’d just never put any effort into it. he’d appreciate your drive and ambition, always making it a point to praise you when you completed a project. he’s probably a casual reader, and would definitely be able to keep up with a conversation about whatever book it was you were reading that he had already read.

i do think daemon is an animal person. he’d get sick of people bothering him all day, and would much rather be in the company of animals. at least animals can’t speak. but he’d also really enjoy you, especially if you were alone. you’d be one of the few people who’d never bother him, and he’d never find himself getting annoyed by your presence. he just likes listening to you talk, and feels a connection with you beyond just your mutual interests. i think caraxes would be able to sense how much daemon liked you, and daemon would feel comfortable enough bringing you to see him.

when court got too tedious, he’d come and find you, offering his hand to you.

you’d raise a brow, but let him take your hand anyways. “too much time at court, my prince?”

“far too much,” he’d smirk, leading you to the dragon pits. “i miss the skies.”

“you didn’t miss me?” you’d muse, and his grin would widen.

“you know i did, my lady. you don’t need to have me admit that.”

“i know,” you’d smile, taking the lead. “i just like hearing you say it.”

he’d roll his eyes, although he’d still be grinning. “i’m beginning to regret bringing you. perhaps caraxes will be more excited to see you than me.”

“i certainly hope so,” you’d say, not missing how daemon squeezed your hand as he led you into the pit.

—

thanks again for participating :)

#daemon targeryan #house of the dragon #hotd #1k followers celebration #1k followers #1000 followers #1000 followers celebration #followers celebration

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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 4 years

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Hakuoki SSL ~sweet school life~ Release Countdown

not something i scheduled... but since the ssl spreadsheet is almost done (well last i checked?), i figured i’d go finish this since I finally found a translation for Kaoru’s snippet for this.... all images in this post were taken from otomate’s ssl blog.

aside from this, i don’t plan on doing anything else ssl related til next year lol.

As always, translation was done from CH -> ENG and final edits will be done later... will definitely be using photoshop later since the the resolution of the original images is on the small-ish side.... ugh. while i hate photoshop (and will always complain about using it hahaha... T_T), i dislike compromising on the quality of things i use in my videos....

Hakuoki SSL ~sweet school life~ Countdown

Translation by KumoriYami

Saito:I am the disciplinary committee's Saito Hajime. The day for the opening ceremony is almost here. Are you nervous, perhaps you haven't prepared enough? Although starting high school may be somewhat nerve-racking, but do not worry [reword or remove 'but']. As your seniors, we will do everything to support you, so you will be able to enjoy your time here/life as a high school student. All you need to do is to bring your expectations and hopes onto campus. Hakuo Gakuen sincerely welcomes your arrival/Welcome to Hakuo Gakuen.

Nagumo: Are you ready for school? I’m contacting my thoughtless/inconsiderate younger sister [will probably change to include “thought it best to contact...” for language flow... unless i can think of a different way to reword that]. Now, since we'll be going to the same school...... You should know, that it was originally an all boys' school. As far as I've been able to tell, the students at this school are all scumbags [lol. well i'll probably change that to 'fools' or just 'scum'?] so I don't know you'll be able to deal with them. Make sure you're always on guard when you do something so you don't cause trouble for me.

Nagakura: Yo~ freshman! I'm Hakuo Gakuen's math teacher, Nagakura Shinpachi! I look forward to when students enroll l every year, but I'm doing that twice as much this year compared to normal! You're asking me why? Right! It's you! Because there's a girl enrolling for the first time/entering the school! Aiyah, a vibrant flower will finally be blossoming in this dreary school full of old men! It's really fired me up! Truly, I'm looking forward to it!

Yamazaki: I'm a second year student at Hakuo Gakuen, Yamazaki Susumu. I will be acting as a guide during the opening ceremony, an will be in charge of addressing any questions and concerns of the new students. If you have any problems at school, do not hesitate to come find me. I was very worried when I first entered the school....... but thanks to help from the/my teachers and (my) classmates, as well as the older students, I've ben able to come this far. If there's anything, please look to your senpais for help. I am also looking forward to the arrival of the underclassmen.

Serizawa: I am the chairman of Hakuo Gakuen, Serizawa Kamo. I didn't expect that a girl would actually enroll at a formerly all-boys' school....... hm, she really has unusual preferences. But whether you are or are not a female student doesn't matter. If you are an excellent student, I will be paying close attention to you. Of course if you're a hindrance, I will treat you as a nuisance. Of course if you're a hindrance, I will treat you as a nuisance. Although I'm not expecting anything... I look forward to your efforts/hard work.

Toudou: I'm Heisuke! Have you been well/How are you doing? There are still 1, 2……8 days until you arrive/come to Hakuo Gakuen! Heheh~ I really can't for that day to come/can't wait for that day! .......Eh? You're asking why I'm so happy, since we already see each other every day as neighbours? That's obvious! While it's true that we see each other every day, it's not the same as going to school together! That's why...... later we'll be to go to school together every day!

Sanan: I am Hakuo Gakuen's school doctor, Sanan Keisuke. There's still a week before you start school/school starts, when you begin a new experience. It'd be unfortunate if you got sick before the school's opening ceremony, so please make sure you take care of yourself. However, if you aren't feeling well on that day, please be sure to come to the school clinic/infirmary. As my first guest/visitor, I will treat you well/carefully [kindly?]. Hehe.

Kondou: I'm Hakuo Gakuen's principal, Kondou Isami! There's less than a week left before the start of the opening ceremony for the school year/week before the opening ceremony for the start of the school year. The school's sakura are also blooming to celebrate your enrollment. On the day of the opening ceremony, they will surely be in full bloom to greet you. Although our school doesn't have a long history, it offers/covers a wide range of subjects. Please do your best while at school/I hope you’ll do your best at this school. The faculty and I are eagerly waiting for your arrival!

Harada:There's not much time left before the start of school. Are you feeling nervous? ......To tell you truth, I'm also quite nervous. LIke the student's the teachers are also nervous about the new students entering/coming in. I don't know what class I'll be responsible/in charge of until the end of the day since the school won't be issuing/giving a notice until then [reword later]. But I'm hoping that I'll be your homeroom teacher.

Kazama: My wife, the moment has finally come. ……Don't ask me such an obvious question right now. You should very well know the answer. Yes, Hakuo Gakuen's opening ceremony is about to start. ——The day where you and I finally/actually go to school together has arrived. My wife, you shall taste the happiness of experiencing this time with me [i think???]

Ibuki:the opening ceremony is in a few days ……It seems that you're a first-year student/freshman, right? Then, there's something I have to/must tell you. The chairman of this school is a very dangerous person. If you want to survive, don't stand in his way. Ah~ah, how can I go to a school that has Serizawa-san as its chairman......

Okita: The opening ceremony will be starting soon. Are you mentally prepared? Are you wearing your school uniform? Are you ready to start calling me "Okita-senpai"? As your senpai, I'll teach you all sorts of fun things after you start school. For example, how to annoy Hijikata-sensei, how to skip the classical literature class, and how to do things behind the vice-principal's back [the last one?????]. There are still two days left. I bet you're feeling impatient, but be a good kid and wait.

Hijikata: I'm Hakuo Gakuen vice-principal, Hijikata Toshizou. Allow me to address all the new students who will be entering Hakuo Gakuen next week. Although these words are a bit formal, please listen carefully. First of all, thank you for choosing Hakuo Gakuen. As we all know, the teachers here all quite young and our school isn't very old/doesn't have a lot of history. But that's why we need you all to work together to create the history of Hakuo Gakuen [reword later]. Our graduates will surely be able to say that they were proud to have studied at Hakuo Gakuen. To the new students about to make history/establish themselves for/at Hakuo Gakuen, I am very much looking forward to meeting you all at the opening ceremony.

---

well, the ssl countdown is the last countdown ive been able to find complete tl and audio for. all links that i found that might have been for reimeiroku or the shinkai games were dead and what tl i managed to find for what might have been for those countdowns were all incomplete. ah well. less work for me lol.

#hakuoki #hakuouki #hakuoki ssl #Hakuoki Other Translation

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amerrierworld · 4 years

Text

Curtain. (iv)

Carol (2015) fanfiction

Pt: 1 | 2 | 3

Word Count: 1,289

September - just before the first day.

"Yes, yes. I know, Harge. I'm her mother for God's sake, I'm not going to forget anything," Carol grumbled into the phone as she grabbed the last of Rindy's bags from the back of the car.

"Well you better make sure she gets everything she needs, Carol," her ex-husband responded gruffly. "I want her to do well in school."

"Harge, it's first grade. What dire needs would a six-year old have to have? It's not like she's learning calculus."

"Listen, I don't want to have a tantrum-prone child at my house in a month because you decide not to discipline her with the school. They like me over there, you know."

"Yes, you've told me many times, Harge. Just because you have the money to fund that school and make them all lovey-dovey for your spare change does not mean we normal people have money coming out our asses."

"Watch it, Ross. It's still my name in the registration."

Carol pursed her lips, forming a foul expression but deciding not to snap back.

"Anyway, I want her in at least one team. They're very disciplined with their physical education, it'll do Rindy some good."

"What? You can't be serious, Harge. She's too young to be participating with any rigorous sports-"

"And I said she was too young to make her suffer through her parent's divorce, but here we are."

Carol sighed as she closed the car and headed up the steps to the house. "I can't promise anything. When Rindy wants something from that school, she gets it, fine. But if it's not sports, that's just too bad. So don't come blaming me if she wants to play in the band or some crap, okay?"

"Fine."

"I'll bring her over on the last Friday of the month, like we agreed."

"Thank you, Carol." His voice was cold and monotone and Carol summoned all her will power not to throw her phone against the brick wall. She hung up before he could say anything else and pushed through the front door.

"Mommy!" A squeal of delight sounded from the living room as her daughter came bounding towards her. Notorious wine-aunt and babysitter Abigail Gerhard followed closely behind.

"There you are, nitwit. Rindy was beginning to think her mom had been kidnapped."

"Oh nonsense," Carol said, crouching down to pick up her daughter, whose wispy blonde curls were sticking out everywhere. "I've got the last bits of your stuff, sweet pea. Now we can properly arrange your new room."

"Yay!"

"I best get going, Carol. I got you some of those bath salts you really like, I figured you might need some, plus they were on sale, so I had to."

"You're the best, Abby, I can't thank you enough."

Carol gave her best friend a quick peck on the cheek as she passed by her to the front door.

"Good luck with school, kiddo," she ruffled Rindy's hair and gave Carol one last squeeze on her shoulder before exiting the house.

Rindy snuggled in tightly against Carol and her heart felt like it was about to burst. She wrapped her arms tightly around her daughter, kissing the top of her head and letting out a sigh of relief. The bags could wait, she thought.

"It's far too quiet here without Aunt Abby, don't you think? Let's put on some music and I'll make us some dinner."

"Can we listen to Frozen, momma?"

"Of course, sweet pea."

After chicken nuggets and a desperate attempt to make Rindy eat some broccoli, her daughter lay tuckered out on Carol's lap, who was watching the news rather than Coco for the fifteenth time. Her legs were stiff but she dared not move from her spot. Rindy had flailed around and danced to endless Disney songs, forcing her mom to dance with her in the kitchen while making dinner.

Now, it was getting late and the way her eyes were straining against the bright TV made Carol realize it was probably time for her to go to bed as well. Eventually she relented and got up, cradling Rindy carefully as to not wake her up before heading to her new bedroom. The bed had been made and Rindy's fairy lights were strung up, but there were still loads of boxes meant to be gone through. The walls were a soft lavender shade with butterfly decorations everywhere; on the walls, lamps, and closet door.

Carol tucked her daughter into bed and wished her a quiet good night before turning the lights out and leaving. She left the door open a crack like she always did and headed to her own bedroom, which seemed much darker and lonelier compared to the toddler's dreamy childhood bedroom.

Carol debated a hot bath to help her relax but decided against it for the sake of sleep. She threw on an old shirt and a pair of boxer briefs to sleep in and crawled to the middle of the large bed, surrounding herself with the thick duvet and ample pillows. The air conditioning made it extra cold in her room and she felt herself trying to get to sleep, but her brain was too preoccupied to let her body shut down.

Carol grabbed her phone, intending to call Abby but remembered that she had a date that evening, which is why she had left so hurriedly. Abby was most definitely already occupied at this time.

Instead, she went to the school's online directory. The title Frankenberg Elementary came up and Carol scrolled through the names of teachers, wanting to remember as many as possible.

Carol and Harge had been huge influences on the school since Rindy started going there. Harge spared no expense in funding many of the school's programs, and consequently gaining immunity for their daughter through power play. Though the thought of it made Carol squirm with guilt, she knew at least now Rindy wouldn't be treated unfairly by the system. Other kids, not so much.

She went straight to the phys-ed tab and up came T. Tucker. Carol sighed, knowing she'd have to face him for another year. Him and Harge had got on swimmingly from the beginning, but Carol had never really enjoyed his company or comments. His female counter part; Mrs. Morgan who taught phys-ed to younger years found him just as insufferable, as she had noted at several PTA meetings.

She went through the regular listings, noting that Robichek was teaching kindergarten again, and thanking heaven that she didn't have to deal with the elderly woman again now that Rindy was out of kindergarten.

A new subheading under Subjects caught Carol's eye; Art. She didn't remember there being a distinct art teacher before; usually it was just doodle or craft assignments assigned by regular teachers.

She clicked.

One name came up.

T. Belivet

Carol blinked at her screen, her eyelids heavy, and frowned. Surely it wasn't the same girl as the shy, petite brunette who had taken photo after photo of Carol which she had pretended not to see? The name seemed too familiar... but what were the chances the girl would be teaching at Rindy's school? Carol scoffed at her own imagined fantasy. It was ridiculous. Abby was right; she ought to get on the dating scene again instead of these desperate fantasies and daydreams.

There was no picture. For all she knew, it could be a relative. If Abby wanted to hire Therese again for the Christmas show, surely she wouldn't have started teaching at a kids' school?

Carol shut off her phone and groaned a little at the ache behind her eyes. It wasn't worth worrying about things that probably meant nothing. She turned over on her side, and curled into a protective ball, determined to get some sleep and give Rindy the best first day.

A/N: My promised Just Pretend pt 2 is coming up after this folks, and then the rest of my queue. I’ve just been on a roll with Carol and Therese that I gotta get some chapters out of my system :3 love you all

#carol #carol aird #carol fanfiction #carol movie #carol x therese #therese belivet #carolxtherese #The Price of Salt #patricia highsmith #carol 2015 #cate blanchett #rooney mara #sarah paulson #wlw #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #fanfiction #merry writes

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girlwithshipsshitshow · 4 years

Conversation

Part 13

Misaki walked into Usagi's room with a huge grin on his face he was in a great mood, Usagi was coming home today, he was feeling great about his exams, he was just in a really good mood.

Aikawa: (Sitting on the couch, on her computer). Wow, what are you so happy about?

Misaki: (Walking over to the chair beside Usagi's bed). Uh, today's just a good day.

Usagi: Misaki, don't be so modest, he passed his exam with flying colors, (Looks up at Misaki grinning), and i'm so proud of him.

Misaki: (Blushes) Usagi. (Sits down, placing bag on the floor beside him). Thank you. (grabs Usagi's hand).

Takahiro: Misaki, Congrats on passing your exam.

Misaki: Thank you Takahiro.

Takahiro: And, I also want to apologize for being so upset about your relationship with Usagi-san, I didn't understand, but he explained everything to me.

Misaki: I thought I made it clear before.

Takahiro: Maybe you did, but I didn't want to listen.

Misaki: Well I appreciate you accepting our relationship.

Takahiro: I'm trying.

Usagi: Try harder.

Takahiro: Right, so do you think you guys are going to have kids?

Misaki: (Glances at Usagi and raises an eyebrow).

Usagi: (Shakes head), He asked me the same question.

Misaki: Takahiro, I think we should just focus on the fact that we just got engaged first. Plus Usagi doesn't like kids.

Usagi: (Gasps), that is so not true.

Misaki: Remember the last time we had to babysit Mahiro?

Usagi: I was nice to him.

Misaki: You're jealous of him because I had to watch him and couldn't hang out with you.

Usagi: If we had our own kids I wouldn't do that.

Misaki: I would need you to prove that first.

Aikawa: Wait, if you have kids can I be the surrogate?

Usagi: Sure!

Misaki: (Runs hands over face). Nobody's having kids! We just got engaged, and I still have to graduate.

Aikawa: And I have a date!

(They all look at her)

Aikawa: What?, I'm just trying to change the subject.

Misaki: Where are you going?

Aikawa: Um, I think IMI.

Usagi: Aw, That's where we always go. (Looks at Misaki with heart eyes). It can be expensive though.

Misaki: It's only expensive because you rent out the whole balcony!

Usagi: I just want us to have a nice time.

Misaki: I have a nice time when I'm with you no matter what.

Usagi: (Kisses Misaki's Knuckles), I know.

Misaki: (Grins), So you don't always have to try so hard love.

Usagi: I know, but I'm not done trying to impress you.

Misaki: (Blushes), Stop.

Rose: (walks in grinning with papers in her hand) Okay Akihiko, you are all set to go, someone will be up here with a wheelchair shortly to escort you out of the hospital so make sure you have all your stuff. I need to take your IVs out. (Walks over to Usagi and Unhooks everything attached to him). Okay, you're all set.

Usagi: YES I'M FREEEE (laughs)

Rose: (Nods and turns to Aikawa) And you, are you ready for our date?

Aikawa: Um, I can be I'm not dressed though, I know that place has a dress code.

Rose: That's okay, my place is close to here, you're about my size, we can change there.

Aikawa: (Blushes) Um, yeah sure. That works.

Rose: Okay, I have to go clock out, but i'll be back in about five minutes.

Aikawa: Yeah, O-okay.

Rose: (Winks at Aikawa and heads out)

Aikawa: (Rushes over to Misaki who is gathering Usagi's stuff.) Misaki, What do I! I'm so nervous I could puke, I've never been on a date before help me.

Misaki: We'll I'm glad you came to me, I know exactly what to do, I'm an expert.

Usagi: (Stifles a laugh).

Misaki: Don't listen to him. (Places Usagi's stuff in a bag).

Aikawa: No, I'm asking you because you were probably really nervous for your first date with Akihiko.

Miksai: Oh, yeah. I was.

Aikawa: And how did you handle it?

Misaki: (Blushes), Uh, Not very well if remember right.

Usagi: (stands up and walks over to Misaki wrapping his arms around him).

Misaki: Usagi, you should be resting.

Usagi: I've been resting enough, besides the doctor said I should be up and walking around. Aikawa, don't listen to him, yeah he was nervous on our first date, but he did fine.

Aikawa: What was it like?

Usagi: I picked him up from school.

Misaki: Embarrassing at the time, but super sweet looking back at it.

Usagi: We hung out at the beach, went to the movies, went shopping-

Misaki: He made me get a suit because of the dress code thing.

Usagi: He looked so cute in it because the suit was a little to big, but you know he always looks cute. (Kisses Misaki's Cheek).

Misaki: (Blushes) Usagi.

Usagi: It's true. Uh and then we went to dinner and that was really nice, except unfortunately that's where he met Isaka.

Misaki: Yeah, that was fun.

Aikawa: How did that go.

Usagi: He asked why I was dating Misaki after rejecting him many times. (scoffs)

Misaki: I didn't like that, it was embarrassing. He tried telling me stuff about Usagi's childhood like he knew I didn't know.

Usagi: Yea, it's okay we talked it on the ferris wheel.

Misaki: Yeah, it was beautiful.

Aikawa: Is that where the Idea for the ferris wheel scene came from?

Misaki: (Blushes) Kinda

Aikawa: So you!

Usagi: Not on the ferris wheel, at home.

Aikawa: Are you going to add an engagement to the series?

Usagi: No

Misaki: (Turns to face Usagi), Wait really?

Usagi: No, I feel like that would be way to personal.

Misaki: Usagi, (Reaches up, and brushes hair out of Usagi's eyes), You can write it if you want, only if you want to progress the fake story based on us along.

Usagi: (Grins) I'll think about it. But I already have four turned in.

Misaki: I know, I'm just letting you know that I'm okay with it.

Usagi: Thank you Misaki. (Leans down to kiss him.)

Misaki: (Pulls away) Usagi, I-

Usagi: (Smirks) Yeah, I know. We should get the rest of our things together.

Misaki: Yeah.

Takahiro: Um, do you guys need any help?

Misaki: No, you can go home.

Takahiro: Usagi-san?

Usagi: Go home, you have a family, we've been keeping you away from them long enough.

Takahiro: Are you sure?

Usagi: Yes, I have Misaki, I'm good..

Takahiro: Okay, see you Usagi-san, Misaki can I see you in the hall for a second?

Misaki: (Glaces at usagi) Uh, sure. (Follows Takahiro into the hall, leans against the wall). Whats up.

Takahiro: Look, Usag-

Misaki: Usagi can be stubborn? I know, He's fine. Go home to your family.

Takahiro: (Sighs), I'm having trouble letting go, my baby brother is growing up and has is own family.

Misaki: Yeah, Usagi's my family, and I have to take care of him, the doctor said it would only be about a week, he'll be okay, so if you don't mind, I have to go take care of my family, you should take care of yours. (Turns to leave).

Takahiro: Misaki, are we going to get pass this.

Misaki: (Turns head to face him) I don't know, you were the one who made me feel like crap the night we told you.

Takahiro: I- I don't remember that.

Misaki: I do, and i tried to forget, but you haven't made it easy.

(A few months ago, outside Takahiro's house. Usagi is holding Misaki's hand tightly, he can feel the nerves racing throughout his whole body).

Usagi: Misaki, we don't have to do this.

Misaki: We do, because I graduate in a few months, and if we don't tell him, I-I am afraid of what might happen if I have to move out.

Usagi: (Caresses Misaki's cheek) I'm never letting you go.

Misaki: (Smiles) I know, and I believe that our relationship is strong enough to get through anything, but I can't imagine not living with you. (Wraps his arms around Usagi).

Usagi: (Tightly holds Misaki) I know, I love you.

Misaki: (Tearly) I love you too.

Usagi: (Pulls away, wiping a tear away from Misaki's cheek), Okay, we need to composes ourselves and go in.

Misaki: (Nods), Yeah, you ready.

Usagi: Yep. (Knocks on door).

(After dinner the three of them sit on the couch sipping tea).

Misaki: So thanks for dinner.

Usagi: Yeah, it was great.

Takahiro: I'm glad you enjoyed, sorry Mahiro and Manami couldn't be here, she cooked dinner but then said something come up.

Usagi: Oh, that's okay, we actually have something we want to discusses.

Takahiro: (sighs, takes a sip of tea), I still think living together when Misaki graduates is a bad idea.

Misaki: I want to stay with him.

Takahiro: We had an agreement.

Misaki: I know, but I'm an adult, why can't I have say in this.

Takahiro: Why do you want to stay with him so badly?

Misaki: Because, (glaces at Usagi

who slightly nod), I- I- (Clears throat, starts to sweat), I'm in love with him, I love Usagi.

Takahiro: (Gasp, drops tea cup, it shatters). No, when did this happen? (Looks at Usagi), Do you know about this?

Usagi: (Looks at him like he's an idiot) Of course I know, I'm in love with him too. (Grabs Misaki's hand), Look Misaki and I have kinda been dating for four years.

Takahiro: WHAT! FOUR YEARS! FOUR FUCKING YEARS! HAVE YOU BEEN TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY BABY BROTHER?! (slaps Usagi's face,Usagi flenches).

Misaki: Usagi! (Runs thumb across his face) WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU. usagi are you okay?

Usagi: (Nods), Yeah I'm okay.

Takahiro: HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO MY BROTHER?

Misaki: He didn't do anything to me, we're in love.

Takahiro: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!

Usagi: Takahiro, calm down. It's not what you think.

Takahiro: WHAT I THINK IS, YOU'VE BEEN TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY BROTHER FOR YEARS, AND HE'S SCARED AND HE DOESN'T REALLY LOVE YOU!

Miksai: (Gasps), How could you say that? You know how hard it is for me to open up and get close to somebody, and Usagi is the first person i've ever let me walls down too, let alone fallen in love with, and you think this is a big joke, or that it's fake? Do you have any idea how hard this was to tell you that i've fallen in love with your best friend? Do you know how long we've wanted to tell you but couldn't, we thought you would be shocked but we didn't know you would react like this. (Stands up, heads to door) I want to go home. Usagi?

Usagi: Yeah, we should go. (Stands) I- I am so, sorry, but I'm so in love with your brother. Misaki means everything to me, and I would never hurt him.

Misaki: Usagi!

Usagi: Coming!

(Present)

Takahiro: I don't remember that.

Misaki: Do you remember showing up at our house a few days later?

(A few months ago)

(Usagi and Misaki are at home on the couch watching TV, Misaki's head is resting in Usagi's lap, he's stroking Misaki's hair.

Misaki: Do you think he'll ever approve?

Usagi: I don't know, I'm sorry I ruined your relationship with him.

Misaki: (Scoffs) This was his fault, what about your relationship with him?

Usagi: As long as I have you, I don't care, I only want you Misaki.

(The doorbell rings, Usagi gets up to get it).

Usagi: Misaki, it's Takahiro, should I let him in?

Misaki: (Sighs) I think you should, we should probably talk.

(Takahiro enters, a gloomy aura surrounds him)

Takahiro: Can I talk to you guys?

(Misaki and Usagi sit on the couch nervously holding hands, Takahiro sits on the other couch, his arms crossed).

Misaki: Talk

Takahiro: I thought about it, I reacted awfully to you guys coming out to me, It must've been really hard.

Misaki: Yeah, it was.

Takahiro: I'm sorry for the way I acted, It's going to take some time for me to app- get used to this. I don't want this to ruin the relationship i have with you guys.

Misaki: It's going to take some time for me.

Usagi: Thank you for coming over, and telling us that.

Takahiro: Are we good?

Usagi: You accused me of forcing Misaki into this relationships.

Takahiro: We'll It's just I know how you can be.

Miskai: If i didn't want to be with him, I wouldn't be with him.

Usagi: He's right.

Takahiro: So this is an equal partnership?

Usagi, Misaki: Yes!

Takahiro: okay, we'll I am going to go, I still need time. Goodbye. (exits).

Misaki: He's never going to approve of us Usagi.

Usagi: (Pulls Misaki into a hug) Are you okay with that?

Misaki: I just want you.

Usagi: And I just want you.

(Present)

Takahiro: I'm okay with it now, or at least i'm starting to be.

Misaki: (leans against the wall). So tell me why you made such a big deal, why did you hate the idea of us being together?

Takahiro: I guess, the idea of you growing up scared me, and when I saw that you found someone who could take care of you that wasn't me it scared me, Plus Usagi-san is my best friend and he's dating my little brother, that kinda bugged me. But then the way he talked about you a few hours ago, I finally realized that he truly loves you, like he's crazy about you. I didn't understand before, Misaki you seem so happy, I've never seem you that way, not since before our parents died. I'm really happy you've found someone who you feel this way about, and that this person feels the same way about you, no wonder Usagi-san can deal with you living with him.

Misaki: He makes me so fucking happy Takahiro.

Takahiro: I know that now. I'm sorry I was such an asshole about it.

Misaki: (Sighs) I accept your apology. (Steps forward to hug Takahiro).

Takahiro: (Hugs Misaki) I love you bro

Misaki: I love you too.

Takahiro: Look, i'm going to go spend time with my family, you should go take care of yours.

Misaki: Okay.

Takahiro: And, call me when you guys get home, and if you need anything.

Misaki: I will, I promise.(Walks back into Usagi's room)

Aikawa: we'll everything is packed up. (Aikawa smiles at Misaki and hands him his phone).

Usagi: If the stupid wheelchair was here we could go. (He groans and spins around on the reclining chair).

Misaki: Are you sure you got everything?

Usagi: Yes

Misaki: Really?

Aikawa: Yes, but you can check if it makes you feel better.

Misaki: (Checks around room, finds Usagi's charger and laptop charger).

Aikawa: Okay so we missed two things.

Misaki: Two important things.

Rose: (Walks in, flushed) sorry guys, I had to take of something.

Aikawa: Oh, that's okay. Ready to go? (Grabs her stuff)

Rose: Yeah. the discharge Nurse should be here soon, (Grabs Aikawa's hand). I'll see you guys later.

Usagi: Bye, thank you so much.

Misaki: (singsong) Have funnnn.

Aikawa: Thanks.

(The two girls walk out hand in hand grinning and Blushing).

Usagi: So, I want to leave.

Misaki: Relax Usagi, we can leave soon.

Usagi: (Whining) I wanna leave nowwww

Misaki: (Rolls his eyes, Places hands on Usagi's shoulders) How old are you?

Usagi: I'm thirty-two

Misaki: Oh, so you're not a two year old.

Usagi: Shut up!

(Discharge nurse walks in with wheelchair)

DN: Alright, sorry about that, are we all set to leave?

Usagi: (Jumps up) Yes!

Misaki: Babe, be careful.

Usagi: Sorry, I'm just happy, we get to go home!

Misaki: (Rolls eyes, grabs his bag and Usagi's double checks room, grabs the keys and heads out the door).

(Rose Holds a sleeveless red dress up to herself in front of her full length mirror, Eri Aikawa Nervously sits on the bed watching her, they have both showered, and have put their hair up in messy buns, their makeup is done naturally and now they were picking out dresses, they wore robes while deciding what to wear).

Rose: What do you think?

Eri : Well, the red really brings out your hazel eyes, and your olive skin.

Rose: Sooo

Eri: (Chuckles) Go with the red.

Rose: Okay, now shoes?

Eri: (Hops off bed) Oh, I saw these black knee high boots in your closet, pick those.

Rose: Oh perfect.

(Eri walks into Rose's closet, grabs the boots and hands them to her, Rose grabs them, takes off her robe revealing a matching lacy black lingerie set, Eri blushes).

Rose: Oh, I hope it's okay that I change front of you.

Eri: Oh (Blushes harder) Yeah no, it's fine.

Rose: (steps into dress) Hey, can you zip me up?

Eri: OH! Yeah sure. (Walks over to Rose and zips up her dress, her skin is warm, and flawless. Rose is stunning).

Rose: Eri?

Eri: Yeah?

Rose: (Smirks) Is everything okay?

Eri: Oh, (Takes hands off Rose's back) Yeah, sorry.

Rose: Okay, now for you, I think a blue dress.

Eri: Why?

Rose: (Brings hand up to Eri's face, runs thumb under her eye). You have these beautiful, grey blue eyes, a blue dress will really make them pop. I have the perfect dress. (Smiles, walks around Eri and goes into closet pulling out a high-low navy blue dress, it was sleeveless, and sparked. she looked around and found ankle high laced peep toe boots with a chunky heel.) Perfect. (She walked out of the closet, grinning) Okay, this will look perfect on you.

Eri: (Blushes, eyes wided) Uh, I don't think so.

Rose: Yes, take your robe off.

Eri: No, I don't have pretty underwear sets like you.

Rose: (Laughs) Eri, who cares, (Whispers) It's just us here, You're beautiful.

Eri: O-O-Okay. (Slides Robe off, revleing a black push-up bra and matching panties, Blushes).

Rose: See, You're Beautiful. Now, but this dress on. (Tosses dress at Eri).

Eri: Are you sure.

Rose: Eri, babe you are amazing, put it on now, or I will force it on you.

Eri: (Eyes grow wide) Okay, god. (Pulls dress on).

Rose: Here, i'll zip you up.

Eri: Okay.

Rose: (Jumps over to Eri, zips up her dress, placing hands on her shoulders) Look, (Turns her towards the mirror) You're a babe.

Eri: I do look good.

Rose: Yeah! see.

Eri: (Looks at phone, its seven-thirty) Crap, we need to put our shoes on and get out of here, don't we have reservations at eight?

Rose: Yeah, come on. (They pull their boots on and head out the door).

(Misaki and Usagi walk into their house, Misaki helping Usagi to the couch, he’d gotten sleepy on the ride home and Hardly made it up to their home).

Misaki: okay, just rest for a little while, and we can eat later.

Usagi: will you lay down with me?

Misaki: yeah?

Usagi: please, I know we weren’t in the hospital long, but I miss holding you in my arms.

Misaki: (smirks) yeah, but no funny business, your doctor said no sex for two weeks.

Usagi: I know, I know. I just want to cuddle.

Misaki: okay. (Grabs cover, walks over to Usagi and falls into his arms).

Usagi:(places chin on Misaki’s head, wraps arms tightly around him), this is nice.

Misaki: (wraps arms around Usagi’s arms, lacing his fingers through his). Yeah it is, I really missed being wrapped in your arms.

Usagi: I missed this too. (Yawns)

Misaki: (smiles and Closes his eyes, he was exhausted as well but wanted to make sure Usagi was okay, but he could tell by Usagi’s steady breathing that he was sleeping). *thinking* I wonder how Aikawa is doing on her date?

(Rose and Eri sit on the balcony overlooking the city of Tokyo, it was a beautiful evening and they were both filled with nerves, although Rose was better at hiding it).

Eri: Wow, it's so pretty here, this is the spot where Misaki and Akihiko always sit, although Akihiko always rents out this whole space, Misaki always complains, but I think he secretly likes it... what do you think we should eat? I was thinking we could share the grilled fish and sake? Or the steak and sake...

Rose: Eri,(Places hand on hers, causing her breath to slow), Relax, it's going to be okay. And the grilled fish sounds awesome.

Eri: Sorry, I don't know why i'm so nervous.

Rose: It's okay, so am I, i'm just really good at hiding it.

Eri: (Smirks)

(Waiter comes over and takes their order of grilled fish, with veggies and sake).

Rose: So, it seems like you really care about Akihiko and Misaki?

Eri: Yeah, they're like my best friends in the world, I love them, they're the closest thing to family I have.

Rose: What about your parents?

Eri: Eh, they I'm not really close with them?

Rose: What happened?

Eri: (Shrugs) We just had a falling out, they wouldn't help pay for university, they thought I should stay home and be a housewife, they had my future all planned out, down to an arranged marriage and I didn't want that.

Rose: I'm really sorry.

Eri: It is what it is, even though Akihiko drives me insane, especially when he doesn't meet his deadlines like his suppose to, he's always been there for me, and Misaki has been really good for Him, Isaka wants Misaki to be like Akihiko's assistant or whatever.

Rose: Won't that be a conflict of interest?

Eri: Akihiko is at his best when Misaki is around, we figure, the more Misaki is helping him the more books he can get out, plus there was this mangaka who really wanted Misaki, but we had to let him go, he was making them uncomfortable.

Rose: How?

Eri: Uh, stalking Misaki, he's completely in love with him and no matter how many times he turned him down he wouldn't listen, so we had to let him go, but turns out he had a better job offer at another company anyway, so i guess we did him a favor.

Rose: Misaki and Akihiko, are they okay?

Eri: Yeah, they've been through a lot but they always come out stronger.

Rose: Akihiko has to tell the public soon right, about him in Misaki?

Eri: That's what he wants.

(The waiter brings out their food, it looks amazing, they eat it and talk some more getting to know each other, Eri walks Rose back home, she ends up staying the night, they don't have sex, but fall asleep in each other's arms as quickly as they start falling in love.

#usagi #usagi x misaki #usami akihiko #misaki #misaki takahashi #takahashi misaki #misaki x usagi #takahiro takahashi #erin aikawa #aikawa #junjou romantica #fanfiction #my OTP #otp feels #otp #ship #Junju romatica

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marshmallowprotection · 5 years

Note

Well, hey, if youre willing to write for it im delighted to request it! If you dont already have an idea in mind, how about snapshots of each rfa member with the rfas unofficially/officially adopted child? Or what each would do if they needed to pick them up from school cause they got sick? I kind of love this whole idea so ive already thought up way too many ways to use it haha, but id be happy with literally anything related to the rfa communally raising a kid

I've written some little blurbs for you, nothing long but something just enough to get a taste of what it might be like. I couldn't decide on a specific kid to use so I'm just going to swap between a boy and a girl for whichever it feels right for.

Yoosung

"Sungie, do you always get to see so many animals?"

"Mmm. Yeah, it's part of my studies. If I wanna be a great Vet someday, I have to learn about all kinds of animals and meet them."

"Really cool! I wouldn't mind if I got to hang out with puppies all day."

"Well… It's not always like that."

"Oh, right, there must be kitties and bunnies too!"

They always chatted like this.

Yoosung spent the time that he did have free with everybody's favorite son. He was often one of the least busy members of the group but only during the afternoons while the others were working. They would waste a lot of time playing games that he enjoyed or LOLOL, which Yoosung liked.

They got along really well. Yoosung had taken to him like a big brother, and while he wasn't entirely sure if he was doing it right, he enjoyed the time they spent together.

He wasn't ever really that close with his big sister, so to have a little buddy to hang out with like this was so different!

He wasn't the youngest person now, so a lot of the words directed towards him were now thrown to the wayside. It made him feel like he was pretty mature!

That wasn't always the case, though.

Video games were an easy way for them to interact and because of that he got a little too invested in them. Of course, just because he was older didn't mean that he always won those games.

The kid took it ten times more seriously than he ever did and he had to actually try to win what they were on. He never really had that issue before without having many people to play against. But, it was like Seven had been tutoring him on how to destroy others.

Today was no different.

"I WIN!" he shrieked as he jumped off of the couch and thrust his hands in the air as Yoosung hung his head in defeat.

"Looks like you win again," he laughed, though still a little embarrassed.

Zen

She was a star, a bright shining star.

All she wanted to do was be the one who made all the sad stuff go away, far, far away from here! It was a dream of hers to be as cool as her family was, and she thought the best way to do that would be to practice for the next party!

She got the idea from Jaehee, cause she always said that Zen could shine so brightly that it made her feel better.

So, who else to ask for tips then Zen?

So, she put on her little show as best as she could for him.

"You're doing great, keep it up out there, princess!" Zen cheered her on as she spun around in circles and circles on end, pretending to perform for the little crowd of plush toys and Zen.

He clapped as she finished up her little routine a few minutes later, with her arms stretched out wide and little chest heaving from all the little motions.

Her eyes twinkle with such joy. It was a blessing to see her look so happy and all she ever wanted to hear was that she was getting better at this.

She puffs out her cheeks when he doesn't say much more, "D'ya like it, Zenny? I can't show everybody else less you think s'good!"

This little girl was an absolute darling to everybody that she came into contact with and it was no surprise given her parent, who had been the kindest soul ever to walk the face of the planet. She never caused any trouble and all she wanted to do was have a little fun every now and again.

Zen wasn't all that great with kids, at least, he never felt like he was. He didn't exactly do a perfect job all the time, but he did try his best when he could.

She had insisted that he sit down and watch her perform this time around. She wanted to show that she could be as dazzling as Zen was, and he would stand to agree that this little girl had a future in talent if she wanted to pursue it.

Even if she was a little bit pitchy with her own rendition of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.

Zen let out a little laugh. He pressed his hand against the top of her head and ruffled her hair. "It was very good. You'll blow everybody away at the next party for sure, okay? I need to watch out. You're going to give me a run for my money."

Jaehee

The little boy clutched at his locks, clearly frustrated with the paper of homework in front of himself. It just wasn't making any sense to him and he really wanted to just give up and quit it.

He had been trying so hard to do it all on his own so nobody would get worried.

That hadn't worked because Jaehee caught him looking so dejected in the corner of the café.

There was no hiding anything from that woman. She just knew when something was wrong and wouldn't let the subject go when she started talking.

She always got onto him. It wasn't rude or mean though!

She was just looking out for him, he knew. It didn't change the fact it was a little embarrassing.

Jaehee looked over his notes and instead of scolding him for the bad marks, she merely hummed and nodded her head. She pointed out some of the troubling areas for him and tapped the spots.

"So you see, you'll need to do this first before you start doing this part of the question. You're getting ahead of yourself when you're working on these types of problems."

He stared at the paper for a moment with pursed lips, "...Oh. I guess I didn't think about that."

"Why don't we try some together and see where it's confusing, okay?" Jaehee smiled.

He may have felt unsure of himself but he knew that he could trust her judgment at times like this.

Jumin

"You look lovely today… I see you and Elizabeth the 3rd are wearing matching bows."

"Oh, you noticed? I tied them all by myself too!"

"Did you? That's very crafty of you to do so, princess. Elizabeth seems positively pleasant about it. Why, may I ask, did you do it?"

"Oh! Elizabeth and I are having a tea party today. We can't have one without looking cute n' stuff. You think my Mommy would like these?"

"She would. That's her favorite color."

Jumin had never been sure how to act around children. He had never really been a normal child himself, and by the time he figured it out, he was already well grown into an adult. Now, he was really learning how to interact with children.

This little girl had stolen not only his heart but the hearts of everybody she came into contact with over the past few months.

She was bubbly and sweet, never out of line, she had a penchant for cute toys and little accessories, and she liked to make her own things and play pretend.

Most importantly, she was the only person in this world who could get CEO Jumin Han to sit in a small chair and pretend to drink tea.

That's what he was doing right now.

Elizabeth the 3rd was sitting on her own chair as the girl pretended to pour out some tea into her cup with a smile, "You want some more, Elizabeth? Really? Okay, more tea for the lady!"

Once she set it down she glanced over at Jumin with a big grin, "I'm glad you like it too, I tried really hard. I made some for everybody to wear! I made you a purple one!"

And if anybody thought he wouldn't wear a bow in his hair for this kid, they were wrong.

Seven

“I did it! I think I put it together, it works, it really works!“

She always looked at the world with stars in her eyes.

Every new experience was something great to watch happen and it didn’t matter what it was that she was doing or trying out. She always smiled and laughed. It was a great sound, and it had been such a long time since Seven had even heard anything like that.

This little girl was equal parts smart and sweet.

If Seven handed her something to work on, she would devour it and figure out what was wrong or what needed to be fixed within a couple of minutes. Seven let her tinker with some of his old robots. Granted, he didn’t give her anything really complex, but still, she learned fast.

It didn’t always work out, but she never lost her big grin.

He beamed. “Oh? So you did! That’s impressive. Good job! Meowy 2.0 here is looking much more lively, huh?”

She gripped onto the little bot and nodded her head. “Mhm! I wasn’t sure if I was gonna be able to figure it out, but thanks to your help, I got it.”

He couldn’t have been more proud.

Seven didn’t know what it was like to have many older people in your life care for you like this in a way that was more domestic and typical. He never thought that he would ever have to chance to be around kids like this, but it was something that he always wanted to do.

She had stolen his heart, though. He would do anything for the kid.

“That’s right,” Seven nodded. ”You don’t have to do everything alone to figure stuff out. It’s actually better to ask for help when you don’t know what to do next time.”

She was quiet for a moment and grinned. “...Yeah, about that. I was wondering, how hard would it be to add a flamethrower?”

Nobody tell the others about that though.

"Does it matter if I make my sky a different color then blue? Why does it always have to be blue? Is it wrong to do something like that? Can it only be blue…? I don't understand."

"Well, the sky isn't just blue, you know. It can be almost any color you want it to be, it's your drawing to paint so it's your choice what it looks like. Why do you ask?"

He hung his head, not wanting to look V in the eyes. "... Some kids told me I was stupid and wrong. I guess... I’m just not as good as you thought I was."

V frowned. He got to the boy’s level and pressed his hands against his shoulders, "Hey… that's not true at all. I love your sky, that's why we put it up on the fridge."

He had really low self-esteem. It wasn’t something that was always remedied by the fact that he had a support system behind him. For some children, it was hard to connect with others in some capacity.

This boy was always radiant and smiling when he was with the RFA. But, when he was alone or by himself, there were those times when the unease shined through. It wasn’t for a lack of love. Those feelings could affect anyone no matter their life or background.

V hated to see that.

“Are you sure?” he asked, quietly. “I would understand if you didn’t.”

Because he was special, not only to him and the rest of the RFA but to himself as well.

“I’m sure. I would never lie to you. Now, let’s see what we can do about this problem of yours at school, okay?”

Saeran

Saeran was always wary of children.

He always thought of his parents and how badly they had screwed him over as a kid, and his first fear was that he was going to do something as bad as what they did to him to somebody else. That was the last thing that he wanted to do to anyone.

It wasn’t easy for him to build a bond with MC’s little girl, but he did try every now and again. For some reason, the girl really liked him and stuck to him like glue at every chance that she got. It was kind of hilarious to see somebody so bright and cheery reaching out for somebody as dark looking like him.

There were times when she would talk somebody’s ear off, but she would never do that to anyone apart from the people in the RFA. She was often quite shy and anxious. With Saeran, though... she was quiet and didn’t often press him for talk and chats.

She seemed to understand that he really wasn’t much of a guy for chatting, and they both could just hang out without worrying about anything. Today was a little different though.

He had walked in the room that she was sitting in, and noticed that she was crying. His body stiffened, and he felt rather uncomfortable. He knew that he could have directed somebody else to the situation but at the same time, he didn’t think he could make himself do that.

He had been in that position too many times as a kid and nobody was there for him. Against the dread in his gut, he sat down next to her and didn’t say anything at first. She was clearly looking over at him.

“S-Saeran?”

“...Mmm.”

“I wasn’t... cryin’... just got dust in my eyes.”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want too,” he said, quietly. “I just figured you would feel better if you had some company.“

“...Thank you.”

#anon #ask #mod kait #prompt #mystic messenger #mysme #saeran choi #saeyoung choi #jumin han #hyun ryu #jaehee kang #yoosung kim #jihyun kim

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shadedrose01 · 4 years

Text

Maybe There's a Reason (To Believe You'll Be Okay)

Relationships: Harley Keener & Tony Stark (platonic), Harley Keener/Peter Parker (at the end)

Summary: Harley has a crisis, and Tony helps him through it (with a hint of parkner at the end).

Tags: Remix, Parkner Remix Event, Even though its barely parkner whoops, Emails, Letters, Phone Calls & Telephones, Tony Stark Acting as Harley Keener's Parental Figure, Sexual Identity, Identity Issues, Coming Out, Kinda?, Sexuality, Gay Harley Keener, Crushes, Harley Keener Needs a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Acceptance, Self-Acceptance, Love, Parental Love, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, tony stark is a dad, why is that not a tag, Parkner is only at the end, for like a paragraph, Just so yall know :)

For the Parkner Discord Remix Event!!

A remix of @official-impravidus ' fic "Sincerely, Me" (which you can read here!)

This is longer, so ao3 link is here!

Hope you all enjoy! Love you lexie!!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013, 1:24PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Relationships and Mark V

I don't understand dating. Like, my friend Bryan started dating Rachel today, and that's fine, whatever, but I just don't get it. All they did was hold hands and kiss each other all day. Is that all a relationship is? What even is the point of it? I mean, I know humans are animals and our instincts give us our need to reproduce so we need to find a viable mate and all that stuff, but why do you need to always be together, and hold hands, and do all of that gross stuff too?

Either way, I finally got around to building a mark V for my potato gun! It's just a few upgrades up from the mark IV, for faster shots and farther range, but I think it'll be cool once it's done.

I hope your day is going okay.

-Harley

~~~

Wednesday, May 8, 2013, 10:43PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Relationships and Mark V

Relationships are complex, and complicated. Humans are born to reproduce, yes, but dating, and finding a partner is more than that. It's finding someone you're compatible with, who can be there at your best and at your worst, and a bunch of other deep seeded emotions that are hard to explain.

You don't need to worry about that now, though. You'll understand more when you're older, anyways, so I wouldn't worry about it.

My day has been good. More of a lazy day today, Pepper and I ordered some take out and watched movies in our pjs. I didn't have my phone on me per Peppers request, or I would have answered sooner.

As for the Mark V, the updates sound good. Keep me posted, kid.

-The Mechanic

~~~

Monday, September 8, 2014, 4:57PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Middle School!!

I started middle school today!! And honestly? It wasn't as exciting as I thought it was gonna be. I knew that movies and tv shows oversell the wow factor of middle school and high school but I didn't think it'd be this dull. I'm still in the same class, with all the same classmates, and my classes are still crazy easy. I had hoped that the increase in grade would make it even a little bit harder, but I knew everything on the outline they gave out before the teachers even started teaching!! It's bonkers!

Apparently this middle school also has a STEM, or "gifted" kid program for kids like me though, so hopefully that'll be harder. I'm still gonna be so bored in my normal classes though. Ugh.

I have the STEM classes tomorrow, so I'll tell you how it goes. I know you've been stuck in those awful meetings lately, but I hope your day is going better than mine.

-Harley

~~~

Tuesday, September 9, 2014, 5:04PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: STEM Program

I had my STEM class day today, and it went a lot better than yesterday did! My teachers are all super nice, especially my math teacher, Mr. Trevor. He immediately starting teaching today, which was awesome, because all of my other normal teachers had a Ice Breaker class first (which I hate, we all already know each other, why do we have to say our names and something about ourselves??), but he just went right into it, and started teaching us trigonometry. I haven't learned any of it before, and I'm super excited to dig into it and find out how it works. It's seeming pretty simple so far, just formulas and using calculators right.

The only bummer is the class I got put with. They all seemed to click and get along well together, but none of them really talked to me much. I don't mind though. I'm more focused on my education anyways.

Also! I saw that Captain America and Black Widow took down SHIELD's headquarters on the news. What was that about? Do you know?? Apparently they leaked files too or something???

I hope everything is okay.

-Harley

~~~

Friday, September 12, 2014, 10:27AM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: STEM Program

Hey kid. Sorry for the late response, things have been hectic here, as you probably know. It's been a PR nightmare, with the whole "Cap took SHIELD down" fiasco. I can't say more than that though. Legal things, NDAs, you know how it is.

I'm glad the STEM classes are testing your abilities more. I know the regular classes can be boring for someone of your intellect, but try to enjoy them while they last, okay? Soon you'll be an adult, and doing adult things, and trust me, it isn't as fun as they make it out to be in the movies either.

Don't worry about those kids too. Give it time, they'll come around.

-The Mechanic

~~~

Friday, September 26, 2014, 9:02PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Update?

Hi. Just emailed to give an update on me. Everything's been pretty normal, I guess. Abbie's loving elementary school, her teacher, Mrs. Millar, is really nice. I did my trig test today, and I think I did well. Mama's working late again tonight, but that's just normal at this point too.

Have you ever, I dunno. Felt like you were weird? Or strange, or broken? Like, all of your friends are one way, and doing some things, but you aren't, and everyone looks at you weird, and treats you differently?

I don't know. I don't know where I'm going with this. I just feel off tonight. Think I'm going to go to bed early.

I'm sorry.

-Harley

~~~

Friday, September 26, 2014, 9:48PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Update?

You don't need to apologize, kid. You did nothing wrong.

I used to feel like that, quite frequently if I'm being honest. When I first went to MIT, I felt weird. I stuck out like a sore thumb, and had people talk about me behind my back because of how young I was. But then I met Rhodey, and things got better.

And then Afghanistan happened. And the invasion. Let me tell you kid, I've never felt more broken and alone after that. I had panic attacks, as you know, but I also struggled with a lot of paranoia. Lack of sleeping or eating properly, mixed with trauma does that to you. I was a wreck, and I was so certain I couldn't be fixed. That I'd be like that forever.

And to an extent, I will be. I'll always struggle with it, but it's much, much better now than it used to be. I went to therapy, talking about my feelings, which sucked ass (don't tell your mom I said that), and learned mechanisms to help myself. Learned breathing techniques, practiced meditation, focused more on self care, and now I'm doing so much better.

So, moral of this long, way too personal story. You aren't broken, kid. Whatever is going on, whether it's similar to me or not (I hope not), it'll be okay. You will be okay. Things will work out. And don't worry about what other people think. Focus on yourself, and do what makes you happy, no matter what.

I'm always here if you need to talk, Harley. I might not be much help, or be very good at this whole hormonal preteen emotions thing yet, but I can try.

I'm glad things are going okay outside of that though. I'm glad your sister's settling in well, and I'm sure you aced your test. You're a smart kid.

Goodnight.

-Tony

~~~

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014, 3:38PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Call

Hey, can we call? I know you're probably busy, and we don't normally do that but I'm kinda freaking out about something and I don't know who else to talk to. My number is (___) ___-____

-Harley

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014, 3:41PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Call

Nevermind, ignore that last email. I was being overdramatic, and stupid. I'm fine, everything is okay.

Sorry for bothering you.

-Harley

---

He didn't expect anything from the emails. He assumed the older man would've read his last email, and shrugged it off, pretending the previous didn't exist like Harley longed for him too. As he said, he was being dumb. It didn't matter that his heart was pounding, that his brain was screaming at him that he was a freak, and dirty, and so so so wrong , that he was shaking like a leaf and on the verge of tears. It didn't matter. It was stupid. It didn't matter.

He didn't expect that Tony would actually still call him.

He stares at his vibrating cell phone through teary eyes, blurry vision, the number unknown but he knows who it is, knows it because nobody else calls, because when his friends call, they call the home phone, not his phone, so who else could it be?

He blinks the tears out of his eyes, rubbing them away quickly when a few escape, swallowing down his fear and panic and self hatred as he scrambles to pick it up before the call ends (he doesn't think Tony would appreciate it very much if he let it ring to voicemail), stuttering out a shaky, higher pitched "H-Hello?"

"Hey, kid." Tony's voice, much lower and rougher than his, rings through the phone, and Harley braces for the questions, the interrogation he knows is coming, knows Tony's gonna ask him about it, about what's bothering him. Why, why did he email him? Now he's gonna have to tell him what's wrong, now he's gonna have to admit it, admit how wrong and messed up and broken he is- "How was your day?"

Harley jerks back slightly, mouth gaping and eyes wide, caught off guard by the unexpected tame question. "Huh?"

"How was your day?" The man repeats calmly, tone smooth, even, relaxed, like it's a normal conversation on a normal, boring day. Nothing like how Harley is feeling, nothing like the swarming thoughts in his mind, like the flood of emotions in his chest, like the churning in his stomach, the burning ache in his lungs.

"U-uhm," Damn his stutter, he had grown out of it years ago, why was it suddenly coming back now? "I-it was good." He lies, trying to keep his voice from wavering, trying to keep it steady, trying to stay composed as the tsunami of emotions tries to pull him under. "Yeah."

"Yeah?" Tony prods lightly, voice softening slightly, and Harley shakes his head in a nod, firm, even though Tony can't see it, even as tears start to burn at his eyes again, even his chest winds tighter and tighter and tighter .

"Mhm." He forces out, not trusting himself to speak anymore, his throat closing as his feelings start rising up his esophagus, a sob clawing its way up his throat, trying to escape.

There's a pause, then, a moment when everything freezes. A moment right before the iceberg tips, right before everything crashing and burning down around him, right before the beginning of the end. And then, time starts again, as the mechanic asks, quiet, hushed "What's going on, Harley?"

And Harley crumbles .

The sob rips from his throat, echoing loudly in the large emptiness of his garage, a trembling hand covering his mouth as soon as he does. But the floodgates have already opened, tears are streaming full force down his face, his body shuttering through shaky gasps and shattered sobs. "I-I-Im sorry ," He chokes out as he sits down heavily in his old, pachy wheely chair, curling into himself as his body shutters again. He rubs his eye with the hand on his face, sniffling and coughing through a whimpered, "I-I know you're- you're probably b-busy, you- you don't h-have to-"

"I have nowhere else to be." Tony murmurs simply, cutting off Harley's poor attempt at waving him off, at delaying the inevitable for any longer. Harley lets out a small whine as the older man speaks up again, soft, soothing, repeating gently, "What's going on, kid?"

"I-I dont-" He hiccups, running a hand through his shaggy, too long blond curls, tugging slightly as his knee bounces rapidly. "M-My friends, or my classmates, they- lately, they've been, I don't know, they've been talking- talking more about crushes and girls and stuff." Harley sniffles, tugging his hair harder as his vision starts to blur again, the words tumbling out of his mouth now. "And- and I never really c-cared about it, you know? I never really- really unders-stood it, didn't see the appeal, s-so I didnt m-mind it. But they- they just keep talking about it, and getting g-girlfriends, and-and talking about their bodies and I didnt get the- the i-interest, so I thought maybe something was wrong with me-"

"There isn't." Tony chips in, but Harley just runs right over him, keeps blabbering. He knows it's rude, knows his mama taught him better, but he can't seem to stop talking now that he started, his words getting more and more wobbly, panicked the longer he goes.

"But there is , there is something wrong with me, I- I know there is now, be-because when I-I went to school today, the- the past few days really, I started- started noticing that I started f-feeling weird, and- and it sounds- sounds similar to how the- the others say they feel, but it doesn't make sense , it can't be that, I dont- I cant-" Harley's breath catches, and he grinds his teeth together, refuses to speak another word, refuses to accept it, refuses to admit the god awful truth, refuses to utter the words. Because it can't be right, it can't be true, it can't be-

They sit in silence for a few moments, when he assumes Tony thought he would continue speaking but he wont, he refuses , until the softer, calmer voice returns, slightly staticky through the speaker, but barely more than a whisper, as if he spoke any louder, Harley would shatter. He probably would. "So, if I'm understanding correctly, you think you have a crush, and you're... scared?"

He doesn't sound patronizing, just honest, if a bit curious, but it doesn't help calm Harley any, a higher pitched, frustrated noise escaping the back of his throat, his free hand going out of his hair going back to rubbing at his face, rubbing off the tracks of tears, trying to rub away any sign of upset, until his skin is red and raw. "No, I-I mean, kinda- its not- I can't- god , this is so stupid."

"Its not stupid. I get it." The man responds, and Harley wants to laugh, feels the bitter feeling bubbling in his chest, because does he? How can he get this? Harley doesn't even get this, it doesn't- he shouldn't- "What's her name?"

The sound erupts out of him at that, but instead of laughter like he thought it would be, it's just another pitiful whine, another loud, agonizing sob. Because that's the thing, the thing that's been haunting him ever since he figured it out earlier that day, the issue that's been plaguing his mind and freaking him out, winding him up more and more and more as the day went on until he got home and sent those messages.

Because- because when he thinks back to earlier that day, he thinks of lunchtime, of sitting at his lunch table with his "friends", of them talking and laughing, of Harley feeling those weird feelings again, especially when he looked across from him, and saw big, forest green eyes, saw a big, toothy grin, saw two small dimples and scattered freckles, saw short, short black hair, saw a sharper, thinner jaw, saw male male male, felt butterflies flutter, and realized he was wrong, wrong, wrong .

Because- "It's not a girl." His voice is small, defeated, barely a whisper, his whole body tensed up in fear, waiting, waiting for his reaction.

There's a pause, before a faint, quiet, sympathetic, "Oh, kid." That Harley immediately the wrong way, because he hates him, oh god he hates him-

"I'm sorry!" He gasps, jerking upright, sitting ramrod straight and the apologies spilling from his mouth. "I'm so sorry, I didnt- I dont mean to, and I-I know its wrong, and I shouldn't, and I-I know I'm weird and- and a freak , and-"

"Hey, hey, woah!" Tony's voice is louder now, stronger, and Harley hushes up immediately, his mouth slamming shut, even as his body trembles with a silent sob. "It's okay, kid. You aren't any of that."

"But- but I am!" Harley whimpers. "I'm w-weird, and everyone else isn't like this , and-"

"Am I a freak?" Again, the random question sends Harley for a loop, trying to grasp onto any of his quickly scattering thoughts.

"W-what?"

He can hear a faint smile, faint amusement in Tony's tone as he asks again, still so so calm, so reassured, "Am I a freak?"

Harley narrows his shining eyes, still full of tears, staring down at the wooden table in front of him, at the chips and nicks covering the side of it, wondering if this is a trick question. "N-No? Of- of course not, you're Iron Man."

He can hear some noise in the background of the call now, squeaking as if someone's leaning back in a chair, before Tony speaks up again, voice full of warm amusement now. "Well, Iron Man has had a few rendezvous with men in the past, and still likes them to this day. Does that make him, and therefore, me, a freak?" When Harley doesn't answer, mostly out of pure shock than anything else, Tony keeps going, tone going serious again. "Kid, I'm gonna get this out there right away. There is nothing wrong with you for liking boys, you hear me?"

He swallows, and wants to agree, longs to agree, but- "But- but my friends, they all like- like girls , and mama, she- she said that traditional marriage was what God wanted and-"

Harley cuts himself off this time, and Tony only waits a few beats before murmuring softly, "Is that what you think?"

He just shrugs, picking at the table, sniffling, whispering quietly, "I don't know what to think anymore."

There's a soft hum and another pause. "You're different, Harley. I'm not going to beat around the bush, you are different." Harley stomach drops. "But," Tony continues, "Kid, you've always been different. You're so smart, way too smart for your own good, if I'm being honest. And there's nothing wrong with that. People may try to bring you down, or kick you while you are down, but you've gotta remember that, okay? There is nothing wrong with you."

Harley waits a few moments, let's the words wash over him and wrap him in a blanket of warmth, of security and comfort, but there's still one little thing that keeps rearing its ugly head, that's still making him antsy. "But, what if I'm just- overreacting? And I don't actually... y-you know." He finishes lamely, still not ready to completely admit to everything yet.

Tony doesn't seem to mind. "Then that's okay too." He says simply, a bit of shuffling coming through the line. "Kid, how old are you again, like twelve?"

He can hear the teasing in his tone, and rolls his eyes as he huffs out, "Thirteen."

The older man chuckles for a second, before his voice goes back to calm, quiet. "Seriously though, you're thirteen , Kid. You don't need to have everything figured out right away." He snorts, then. "I sure didn't. I think I was a mess at your age, wasn't even thinking about relationships. At least, not long term." There's a pause. "Point is, you don't need to know right now. This might be a fluke, and you might end up liking only girls from here on out. You might end up just liking boys, liking both, or neither, who knows? But you've got time, kid, and that's the key. Give it time . And whatever it ends up being, whatever ends up happening..." His voice softens at the end, a smile prominent in his tone. "It'll be okay. You will be okay."

For the first time all day, Harley finally takes a deep breath. His shoulders finally relax, his body practically melting back into his chair, and a smile grows on his face, warmth blooming in his chest. "...thanks, Tony." He whispers, hoping that the amount of pure, unfiltered gratitude he's feeling can be heard in his tone.

He thinks it can, as there's a hint of embarrassment and awkwardness in Tony's voice as he responds with a simple, "Don't mention it, squirt."

Harley just chuckles at the sudden discomfort of the older man, before his eyes widen. "Oh! While you're here, did I tell you I passed my trig test?"

"Hey! I knew you would, kid, I had no doubt." Harley's grin widens, before he throws himself into another story, feeling warmer, safer, and happier than he has in a while.

A few years later, Tony was getting off of the elevator to his penthouse with a huff, having just gotten back from a rough meeting, when he freezes. His heart warma and a smile grows on his face when he notices Harley, now 17 years old (almost an adult, god he was so old ), curled up into Peter's chest, his face pushed into his neck, seemingly fast asleep. Peter's head rests on top of Harley's, eyes open but hooded, as if keeping them open was getting difficult. They glance over to Tony immediately, though (damn his spider sense and increased hearing), and a faint blush forms on his cheeks even as he smiles lightly, his eyes softening as he glances back down at his boyfriend and presses a firm kiss onto his head. Tony watches the interaction with a soft grin, before quietly stepping away, his chest full of mostly warm, sappy feelings, but also full of pride and joy, knowing his pseudo son is accepted, happy and loved.

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