#ive accepted what it is and what it may be in the future and I’m not okay with it but it’s okay ya know

[jimgandolfini]

not me in the middle of three huge family and work crises and coping by reading through my old posts about museum paul and the last email exchange we had and thinking of the irreparable damage done to our relationship even if we improve it but also of the good things I have planned to do at work with the skills he taught me that I use everyday for objectives that are in the spirit of what he taught me and also the vastly improved interpersonal skills that I have/use everyday because of what he taught me and also of how he literally changed my life trajectory

anyway

[nolongerapileofashprobably]

I remember a while back you said that TOTK ranks as one of the best narratives in the series, and replaying it again, I’m inclined to agree. Fans criticized it for being “incoherent,” but there’s literally nothing that happens in the story that isn’t set up in the opening/tutorial. The Imprisoning War, the Zonai, the statue depicting Rauru and Sonia, the Light Dragon flying near the temple, Link diving to Zelda, the Recall ability (how it serves as Link’s connection to Zelda throughout the game and will ultimately be how he saves her at the end). The recall ability is also how Link collects and examines the dragon tear memories. Even if you don’t collect the tears, Link’s last memory of her is the vision of her giving him Recall, so it makes sense that he restores her to how he remembers her (“coaxing the object’s memory” like Sonia says in one of the memories). The theme of community and togetherness is also woven into every aspect of the gameplay and story. BOTW and TOTK are both extremely narratively and thematically coherent.

THISSSSSS

Ive played the majority of Zelda games and some stories are iconic (OoT), some are DARK (MM), some are DIFFERENT (WW & TP), some are ROMANTIC (ST & SS), and all are adventurous and fun. This series has a plethora of interesting characters and captivating stories, but none truly compare to the intricacies of BoTW&ToTK. And this is achieved through the vast amount of details offered to players in each game.

BoTW has a TON of details for players who go looking for it, however none of them are actually necessary in completing the game. We know this is simply bc of the direction of botw and totk in terms of gameplay.

The stories are OPTIONAL in both of these games, but as you pointed out in ToTK, you don’t escape the Recall memory. And that ability is the one that is truly unique to the story and connects us directly to Zelda, and ultimately Zelda to her old self. Both of these games are directly related to Zelda’s journey as a character and are a testament to this Zelda and Link’s relationship. Without a romantic perspective (which actually requires you to neglect details given to us in both games), the story still stands in terms of development and emotional appeal.

I think everyone can agree that BoTW/ToTK Zelda is the most developed Zelda we have ever gotten, and if you accept that her development goes hand in hand with the story (which duh it does lol) then you realize that for all its faults, BoTW & ToTK has one of the best narratives of the series. To me, you can’t separate the games, because BoTW was the foundation of Zelda’s growth as a person and Zelda & Link’s relationship which resulted in the dedicated loyalty we see six years after the events of BoTW. Without that knowledge, we wouldn’t get the same emotional connection or understand how intimate the ending of ToTK is.

Link’s use of Recall, backed by Rauru’s light magic and Sonia’s time magic, is only achievable by HIS ability to remember Zelda, his own memories and the ones Zelda gifted him through the tears, in order to bring her back. This gives us the EXACT answer to the question BoTW ends on: “May I ask; do you really remember me?”

Like that is so impactful, it clears every other story in my opinion by a LONG SHOT. This doesn’t negate how amazing the other stories are, they are all powerful in their own way, but none compare to the fluid and consistent themes BoTW & ToTK are founded upon.

The story has its faults (as all do) and thus fans capitalize on them in order to tear down the games (which is natural for any popular franchise). But those faults do not impact what is perfectly executed in terms of Zelda and Link’s story. The things we wish to see more of are that of side characters and questions left unanswered (which provided the series a new set of lore to explore in future games). But I will forever stand by this era and it’s overarching story that still makes me stop whenever I see the light dragon or seek out those small details whenever I replay the games.

[simplyreveries]

hello hellooo new twst writing blog!! requests are open

about me: well sorta kinda new??? ive had twst writing blogs in the past. you can call me maria, Ive been in the fandom since september of 2020. my favorites are malleus, silver, riddle, azul,,, deuce,, i love them all though its tough haha. Im a hs student aspiring something in the arts in the future for me!

links: masterlist (wip)

rules:

sfw only, i may accept tame, lightly suggestive things but that really depends on what the request is!!

no copy-paste asks

no major angst (like character death or cheating)

ill do familial/platonic stuff as well! not just romantic

^ ortho + grim will only be written as familial/platonic always!

I will write male and gn readers

If you’re not requesting dorm leaders/vice dorm leaders or a dorm, I have a 4-5 character limit for an ask!

i'll also write for chenya and neige, but it may be smaller because of limited info on them^^;

at the moment i'll only write headcanons, not full fics or anything like that

I know some people vary with how they tag it (like using CW) but when needed i'll tag anything potentially triggering as, TW:

i try to get requests out as often as i can! starting mostly with older requests first.

even if my requests are closed I’m perfectly fine with any twst talk like ideas or au’s

ill add more when needed and if you have any questions don’t be afraid to ask :)

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Any soft Wesper kid HC or prompts? I’ve always imagined Wespers kid as struggling to read just like Wylan and not fully understanding it. They just know that “Da reads everything for Dad” and growing up in a much healthier environment than Wylan they dont grow up with the same low self esteem issues and instead the idea that love is someone willing to read to you. They hope that in the future they find someone like that for themselves. IDK I’m a sucker for breaking they cycle lol

Aw Id love to share some soft Wesper Kid HCs!

Apologies for the delay in answering Ive had this in my drafts so I can build on it

- Wesper kid is an early riser and often wakes before his Dads, so the only sensible thing to do is bring his favourite book or toy and climb into their bed with them. They often spend the entire morning on off days just lounging in bed

- Swimming lessons! Being so close to canals and the harbour (and that swimming once saved his Pa’s life) having the Wesper Kid know how to swim and be confident in water is extremely important to them

- Ive always imagined if the Wesper kid had a cognitive disability it would be colourblindness or ADHD. Where his Da is the hyperactive sort he is the inattentive type and can struggle to sit for lessons without his mind wondering. So to help him they adjust his school day. They give him more frequent breaks in class and bigger gaps in-between lessons with lots of outside play, and they find tutors who teach in a very practical way to keep him engaged

- Wesper kids favourite animals are rabbits, little bit of Aditi coming to him. Jesper also sings Zemeni lullabies and reads him all his favourite stories from his childhood. Wesper kid becomes their ‘little rabbit’ and Grandma Aditi is well known in their home

- Ive love the idea that theres no shame or secret regarding Wylan not reading. Kids accept the world as it’s presented to them so he wouldnt think anything unusual of it. When it comes time to do homework or bedtime stories theres no hush-hush that only Da can read to him. But Wylan of course memorises bedtime stories and is Wesper kids go to for math/science homework

- Wesper kid has his Da’s energy and his Pa’s musical interest…which results in him wanting to learn the drums. Jesper is overjoyed, Wylan is of course delighted and supportive but makes a mental note to get ear plugs as a kid learning percussion can be quite overstimulating for autistic people

- As much as Wylan is dead set on gentle parenting that doesn’t mean it’s easy. When you’re brought up with harsh treatment and are used to that being ‘normal’, it takes daily conscious effort to break that cycle. He never ever lays a harsh hand or word on their son, but he does have to take time outs occasionally to gather himself on rough days. Its retraining mental instinct but he would do it a million times over for his son to feel safe and loved

- Wesper kid is asthmatic/anaemic like his Pa. Id love a fic of the first time the kid becomes really unwell with the flu or lung fever and Wylan & Jesper are just losing their minds. Luckily Nana Marya is there to help calm new parent worries and pass along some tips on soothing a poorly child

I may continue to add to this, but this is what I have at the moment 💕

[sweetchaosbabe]

Hey so im the anon that was trying to manifest going to an rvent and also good exam resultss. Well its monday night noe and i didnt grt to go to that event and i also got horrible results. I wanted atleast like 80% but i dont think ill get even 60%..(the papers have been shown but we haven’t received report card.) anyways i rlly thought that i eoykd go to that event, i affirmrd so much ,did sats and also believed that i would go even at the last moments, i have no idea what went wrong . I also thought i would get good grades. Now im depressed, i had depended so many things on manifestation and without it ,i have so so many problems. Ive got board exams this year in 3 months and they are rrally really important i thought id manifest good grades but i dont know now.. i also may not be allowed to give them bcs i have low attendance (thought id manifest that problem away too) many teachers dont like me and so many of my assignments are incomplete idk what to do.my mind has also starting convincing me rhat my prrvious manifestations were just coincidences.Without being able to manifedt ,these problems away i wont be able to do anythng. Eithout manifestation,my life is awful

Hey babe, 💖 I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way, and I want you to know that it’s completely okay to feel frustrated and overwhelmed. First things first: don’t be too hard on yourself. Manifestation is a journey, and sometimes things don’t show up exactly how or when we expect them to, but that doesn’t mean it’s not working for you.

Here’s what I want you to consider:

1. You Didn’t Do Anything Wrong

Sometimes when we put too much pressure on the outcome or feel like we need something to happen, it creates resistance. This can slow down the manifestation or make it seem like things are falling apart. That doesn’t mean you’re not capable of manifesting—it just means you were probably focused more on the lack of it (even without realizing it). The good news? You can still turn this around. ✨

2. Start Fresh

Take a deep breath, and know that this situation doesn’t define your manifesting power. It’s easy to get caught up in the 3D results, but remember that the 3D is just a reflection of past thoughts. It doesn’t mean your future is set in stone. Start fresh today with the belief that things can still shift—you’re the creator, and you have the power to change your reality.

3. Rebuild Your Confidence

I know it feels like everything went wrong, but don’t let your mind convince you that past manifestations were coincidences. The law of assumption is always working, even when things don’t show up the way we want. Start affirming again: “Manifestation is easy for me,” “Everything always works out in my favor,” and “I trust myself and my power.” You can build your confidence back by focusing on small wins—start manifesting little things to remind yourself how powerful you are. 💫

4. Focus on the End, Not the Obstacles

When it comes to your exams, attendance, and assignments, start focusing on the end result—seeing yourself already having passed your board exams with great results, having everything completed, and being in a good place with your teachers. Instead of worrying about how it will happen, live in the end and affirm that it’s already taken care of.

For example:

“I pass my board exams with ease.”

“My assignments are all complete and accepted.”

“Everything with my teachers is resolved in my favor.”

Let go of the small details and trust that things will shift in your favor.

5. Don’t Give Up

You’re going through a tough moment right now, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on manifesting. If anything, this is the time to persist even more. Take it one step at a time, and don’t feel like you have to solve everything all at once. Focus on rebuilding your mindset and trusting the process. You have the power to turn things around—start small if you need to, but don’t give up on yourself or manifestation.

You’re not alone in this, and things can and will get better. Keep affirming, stay strong, and remember—you’ve got this, babe. 💖

Sending you so much love and support. You’ll get through this. 💫

xoxo, sweetchaosbabe🌟

[localcryptid95]

So apparently listening to country music and eating strawberry’s gives me enough of a high to actually post something here so uhm hi I guess

My name is Crypt, I’m a lil moth guy. Not gonna be very active. There’s like a 70% chance I’m gonna disappear one day for like 2 years and may or may not come back.

I like cartoons, in case you couldn’t tell by my lil persona lol. Bringing back the pie-eyed style woooh

Any pronouns are acceptable. (For anonymity purposes)

No idea what kind of stuff I’ll be posting in the future!!! It’s a mystery for everybody =D follow if you wanna tag along for the ride lol

Let me know of any questions. Happy to be here =)

Stay safe myguys <3

HELP IT SWITCHED FROM COUNTRY TO WEEZER WHAT-

edit: Ive made an art account! Go check out @cryptsartstash if you wanna see my original stuff or search the tag #Crypt95Art wherever you get your casting of pods

[joyfulapostate]

hi!!

for context, i was raised baptist, im queer, my mother converted in her late 20s i believe? and my father was raised strictly baptist as well. my mom has been listening to sermons on youtube obsessively, and my father will lose his mind if you (collective) say ANYTHING that has even the slightest chance of questioning the bible in any way. i’m closer with my mom than my dad, we both have adhd and im autistic, my dad is emotionally and verbally abusive.

i started questioning pretty much everything since mid 2020 ish??, and i just started accepting the idea that my parents would probably disown me, or at the very least ground me until they’re dead, if they knew anything about me that’s not an ✨image i’ve made specifically for them✨. (my main spotify acc has seen so many mental breakdowns it’s not even funny at this point���)

anyways i just was wondering if there’s a Specific Reason i’ve been really really drawn to catholicism, catholic guilt, and really anything regarding that? it’s just been like A Thing for me especially really recently and i’m just always sitting there like “why tf do i feel like i have catholic guilt i’ve only stepped foot in a catholic church one single time and it was for a craft show????”

if there’s no specific answer that’s totally cool i just thought i’d try to ask someone who seems to know what they’re talking about bc ive been thinking about it a LOT recently

(i also feel like im letting down my grandma, she was the sweetest lady and she absolutely made my childhood so much better and im so grateful for her. she was pretty much the backbone of her church, she died seven years ago and i just feel like if she saw me now she wouldn’t recognize me even if she had every form of proof in the world it was me. i don’t know if she would even accept i was her grandkid at this point.)

It’s so great that you are giving yourself room to become more than what others expect you to be. We all deserve that. And it takes courage to create space for yourself, especially in a worldview that tends to reduce our self image.

I am so sorry that you are dealing with an abusive situation. Your safety is important and you deserve to have a healthy support system.

I think that the idea of “Catholic guilt” is a more popular trope than guilt from Protestant traditions. I see it mentioned more in personal conversations and in books, TV, and movies. It absolutely makes sense that this idea would resonate with you.

It can be helpful to study other traditions to give you context for your own experience, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to claim something from another religious tradition as your own. It doesn’t sound like that’s what you’re doing, I just try to be careful about stuff like that.

I was also raised in a Protestant faith, but I had Catholic friends and attended Mass at several points in my life. When I was still a believer, it seemed like there was a great chasm between these belief systems. But now that I have some distance from my former faith, I see that they have more similarities than differences. Shame and guilt run through them both. There’s guilt about familial obligations, Jesus’ death, and “sinful” actions. (I personally think that sin is just one god’s opinion and it matters more that we try to treat each other well than follow a non-negotiable rulebook.)

It may not be possible to be totally open now now, but I believe it will be in the future. I didn’t share my doubts when I was still dependent on my parents and it felt awful at the time to keep anything private. Because it felt like privacy implied guilt. But now I am grateful to my past self for waiting until I felt secure enough to share my doubts. I found people who felt safe and confided in them. I built relationships based on mutual respect and informed choices, which hadn't felt possible before.

I still have distance with some of my religious family members. But some of my more progressive family members and I have made a lot of progress in understanding each other. Love can overcome doctrine in many relationships, but not others. It’s a difficult reality to face, especially when you don’t have the opportunity to communicate with them. I know that I had to grieve the people I’d lost and the idea that I would see them in heaven. But there are people in this world who will understand you, support you, and hope for you to have a wonderful and fulfilling life that allows you to grow beyond their expectations. And it sounds like you already are that kind of person for yourself, and that is an impressive accomplishment in its own right.

[rosetheocto]

hi!!! i wanted to ask about your thoughts on what should be changed in eeveelution squad!! ive been thinking about it a lot recently and ive seen you on the tag from time to time and i wanted to know more about what you think!!

OOOOOO there’s a lot of things actually!! This is kinda long and all over the place tho so uhh have fun with that!! :0

if you want me to elaborate more on certain things or have a point make more sense just send another ask my way lol

No CC. sorry to whoever made her but she SUCKS and I don’t like her. Her backstory makes no sense even in an AU and she’s just. very overpowered lol (also her and Gai have no chemistry)

speaking of ships with no chemistry: Lazuli/Speed/Silvia. theyre all so toxic to each other and Speed has shown clear disinterest in them both for nearly the whole comic. They only got together in the end cuz The Fans Wanted It, completely ignoring stuff like Lazuli/Silvia kissing Speed during a PTSD flashback without his consent. I can go on and on about how much the romance in this comic is bad but I’ll be here all day lmao. I may make a rant about them all in another post in the future

TLDR for that being: most speed ships suck (I see him as aro tbh, Stella was an exception), Black and Pearl also suck but not as much, I’m glad Crystal didn’t get with Trace

Leaf needs more personality, tbh all the girls do. Like seriously name one female character that doesn’t have any major ties to a guy. like even Sunshine has a love interest in Axel and they’re 3/4 years old

I wish the berserker lore made sense. ik EV made it overly complex to Spite The Haters or whatever but I just don’t really get it half the time. in terms of unique stuff ES has like those and the Coastal Eevees or the timeline resets it could’ve been handled a LOT better and made more sense

(and I know the Journals have more info but I’ll get to those in a sec)

Shade just sucks as a villain and you can tell he was rushed to give the finale a proper final battle (Special 12B wasn’t meant to be the finale originally if you didn’t know that)

(If I were to make a final villain to ES it would’ve been Alan but that’s just me lol)

there’s way too many characters and most people can’t even tell the slight differences in appearance as well as I can. like there were people mistaking Blaze (Pearl’s mom, Flareon with the hair swirly thing) and Mollie (Triplets mom, Flareon with a leg missing) as the same person for a while and that isn’t really good for design and story stuff. and like there’s so many characters that show up once and never again until you find out that They Actually Had A Bunch Of Story Relevancy You Didn’t Know Until Just Now! (Shade)

and looking at the drafts for the After Story it doesn’t really answer any questions and just made things more confusing?? and there’s also stuff that I just. refuse to accept as canon. Speed would NOT abandon his daughter for years just cuz “he wants to explore again” yeah he may not be the best father figure in the world but CMON :((

AND SPEAKING OF THAT: there’s way too much Journal only content, which is fine if the average reader knew about all those journals. The stuff from those should’ve really been incorporated into the story sooner, cuz most stuff that’s been established in journals for years only got to shine in the comic at the very end

Those are all the major things I can think of really! If you read this far, then thanks!! I have a lot of thoughts on this comic lol

[missmagooglie]

I’m curious about all of them really but this one really stuck out to me Fire Academy Instructors (future fic)

So... the concept here is generally a "no plot, just vibes" outsider PoV glimpse at Buck and Eddie's lives as full time instructors at the fire academy once they retire from active duty in the field.

The one part that isn't outsider PoV, though, is the set-up for how Buck first became an instructor. And that's also the only part that's fully written, so I'm gonna throw it behind the cut:

The moment it happens, Buck knows.

The rescue should have been straightforward. Teenagers who stranded themselves on the roof of an abandoned building. It should have been condemned and torn down years ago, but city government isn't typically known for taking swift action so the house had stood rotting for years, possibly decades, longer than it should have. 

They knew the roof was unstable. That's why Buck had been following protocol to the letter, making sure he was walking along the beams and testing the roof for stability as he moved slowly and cautiously toward the terrified kids who were nattering on about some abandoned places photo challenge as if Buck cares about the reason they were up here rather than just focusing on getting them down safely.

He gives them a reassuring smile and reminds them to just stay put until he gets there as he makes his way toward them. He's about half-way up when two fucking squirrels dart across the roof and between his legs.

It startles him enough that he loses his balance and reflexively he takes a step to catch himself. 

The step he takes does not land on the beam.

Buck hears the crack and has just enough time to think "oh shit" before the roof gives way and Buck is tumbling through asphalt tile and rotten plywood.

He lands hard, and with immediate agonizing pain. He groans and coughs through the heavy dust and falling debris. The first thing he sees when he opens his eyes is the heavy cloud of dust and falling roof particles illuminated in the beam of sunlight shining through the hole he just made. The second thing he sees, as his gaze is drawn toward the most urgent source of pain, is the gleam of white smeared with red jutting out from the dark blue of his uniform pants.

He may not know the full extent of his injuries yet, but he knows it's enough. He's finished as a firefighter. 

*

It's nothing like last time. Last time he broke his leg, he was a 26 year old kid who had his entire identity and sense of self-worth wrapped up in his job. Last time he would honestly rather have died under that truck than be told he could never be a firefighter again.

He's older now. He's married to the most amazing man he's ever met. He has an incredible, brilliant kid who is a college graduate currently working towards a PhD. He knows now that his relationships with his friends, his family, aren't tied to his job. That fear had finally been quelled for good when Bobby retired but never retreated from Buck's life.

And he's aware too that his body is aging. He had hoped he had a few more years left doing the job he loves so much, but he's thought about what his life will look like after firefighting. He's long-since accepted that there will be a life after firefighting.

Still, it would have been nice to go out on his terms. Or, if it did have to be an injury that took him out of the field, it would have been nice to have a better story than that he tripped over some damned rodents. 

He's alone for the moment, though he's sure it won't last long. He finally convinced Eddie to go home and get some rest, but he knows Bobby will drop by soon enough. Or Maddie. Maybe Hen, who's probably shouldering some irrational guilt about this happening under her command. He knows they're all worried about him, and it's been a lot to reassure them that yes he's alright, and no he's not going to start spiraling.

He closes his eyes, laying in the hospital bed with his foot up in a sling and an IV pushing an aggressive course of broad spectrum antibiotics and antifungals through the needle in his hand "just to cover all bases", and a whole collection of more minor scratches and bruises that are starting to itch, and he gives himself permission to feel sorry for himself for just a little bit. Just until the next person to visit him arrives.

So of course, just a few minutes later there's a knock on his door. He opens his eyes and is particularly annoyed to see it's not even one of his loved ones interrupting his pity party. It's Lucy Donato, in her full dress uniform, giving him that little knowing half-smile.

Buck just barely suppresses a groan as he greets her, "Hi, Chief."

"I'd ask how you're doing," she says dryly, "but…"

"Yeah, the cast and the hospital bed kinda give that answer away," Buck replies. "What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to talk to you about your future with the LAFD," she says, striding easily into the room and settling in the uncomfortable plastic chair at his bedside with far too much ease.

This time, Buck does groan and doesn't even try to hide it. "Look, I know I've fought my way back to active duty after a career ending injury before -"

"And made quite a few waves doing it," Lucy remarks with mild amusement.

Buck glares at her. Even twenty years later, he doesn't have much of a sense of humor about the lawsuit that almost cost him his family.

"I'm 47 years old, Lucy. I have a compound fracture in the same leg that got crushed by a fire truck two decades ago. I'm not stupid or naive, I know my career is over. So if you're just here to talk me through the retirement package in person-"

"See, the thing is," Lucy interrupts, "I'm not here to strong-arm you into retirement. I'm here to ask you if you'll consider not retiring."

Buck looks from Lucy to his leg then back to Lucy, then raises an eyebrow and waits for her to explain. 

"Obviously not active duty at a firehouse," Lucy concedes. "But not a desk job either. I have an opening for an instructor at the academy, and I think you'd be a really good fit."

"You want me to teach?" Buck asks, confused.

"I want you to take a bunch of hot-headed, cocky, stubborn recruits and turn them into firefighters," Lucy tells him. "The LAFD needs more firefighters like you - what better way to do that than to have you be the one to mold them?"

[olitheox]

This is the first time I’ve ever posted head-cannons or anything but I’ve had this idea running around in my head all day so here’s some head-cannons for The brothers of sins/more masc siblings uniforms.

Brothers/Siblings of sin uniform hc

My hcs for the brothers/masc siblings of sin uniforms would very much look like a catholic priest’s, much like how the ladies habits are a bit like a nuns

Black shoes and pants, as well as a priests black shirt and collar (maybe the black shirt would have gold buttons to tie in with honouring the colours of Copia, Or dark purple buttons to honour Terzo?)

The colour of their collar would be the colour of the reigning Papa at the time, so navy for Papa IV. Also with a black or maybe gold grucifix in the middle. (Yknow Papa IV’s more pointed gold grucifix? Yea you get the vibe)

But possibly if a sibling/brother worked closely or was one of the older papas s/o they’d be allowed to wear a collar the same colour as their respective Papa (example: a sibling that’s worked as Primos garden helper since he was in reign may be permitted to wear a red collar, A brother that was Secondo’s personal assistant may wear a green collar and so on)

Their black pants could have a grucifix on the side of one of their pant legs aswell, but tbh I feel like that might be a bit too flashy.

For the most part I feel they’d be expected to wear dressy shoes or boots for rituals/special occasions but be aloud to wear whatever kind of shoes any other time with exceptions, like if a sibling wore doc martens or combat boots(maybe even platforms) that would be totally acceptable but say if a brother pulled up to latin class in crocs Secondo might tsk and chew him out a bit.

I also feel like either suspenders or a belt would go with all that, maybe a particularly devout sibling may wear a black or navy belt with gold buckle with Papa IVs grucifix Engraved into it, but I don’t think it would be mandatory, a simple black belt would be fine too.

Anyway that’s all I got in the thinker, I was actually super nervous to post this but yknow what you only live once so 🤷‍♂️. I also have a terrible fashion sense and don’t know how to dress myself on the regular so if any of these seem like they’d clash or just not look good I’m so sorry😂. I’m totally open to opinions though, and if anyone wanted to adopt these hcs that’s awesome! I’m shit at drawing and have no digital stuff to make art with, or know how to use photoshop or else I would’ve tried to come up with some sort of something. so you’ll just have to use your ✨imagination✨. Maybe I’ll post some other headcannons in the future who knows. Bye bye for now 💙💛

[9w1ft]

i'm sure youve answered a variation of this, but how do you feel about the rejected marriage proposal talked about in champagne problems/ylm? along with lovers more positive theme of marriage. i know you dont often speak in absolutes about events that may have happened but i'm wondering what you think about the timeline & maybe how literal the lyrics about it are. assuming taylor is talking about rejecting karlie, why do you think this might be? & how do you think their view of marriage is now, after the possible propsal?

i will start by saying that, i think that the whole point of folklore was to not take it literally, as evidenced by what taylor said in promo for the album which in this case i tend to think is true. i think a lot if not most of the songs on folklore are a mix of true feelings and embellished feelings, true and fictional scenarios.

so for me i more think about it like, what is the tactical value of creating such folklore. so if **the folklore** is going to be that taylor proposed to karlie, i think the scenario splits in two, aimed at two audiences…

(1) karlie rejected her and went with josh — in this case then i’m guessing the timeline that it’s supposed to portray is that taylor proposed sometime before summer 2018, ie, before she got proposed to by josh.

i think this timeline can hold future tactical value to swifties in the event that taylor and karlie reunite publicly sometime in the future, because it helps further solidify the sanctity of karlie’s marriage to josh in their eyes. it’s not that taylor and karlie have been telling lies all along, it’s that in the past they had a fling and it didn’t work out but ultimately they found their way back to one another.

(2)karlie rejected her and hasnt *really* married anybody because her and josh are bearding — in this case then i’m guessing the timeline is that taylor proposed at any point in time before folklore was recorded but that karlie rejected any changes to the status quo and has stuck with her current arrangement with josh.

i think this interpretation has tactical value to gaylors and even some forms of kaylor because it allows for a gap in time in taylor and karlie’s story within which karlie could have started a family separate from taylor, thus leaving a lot of the mental gymnastics regarding her kids out of accepting kaylor. again, it’s not that taylor and karlie have been telling BIG lies all along, it’s that it didn’t work out short of starting a family but ultimately they found their way back to one another.

in short,

here’s the thing for me though, i really think you’re losing me is from karlie’s perspective. i have a post on that somewhere.. anyway, so for me, i don’t draw an absolute line between cp and ylm. for me, i see champagne problems as a way for taylor to have decompressed a lot of emotion about the wedding aspects (or coming out plans, ive seen that interpretation too) of their relationship in general, told through the lens of an accessible story, in such a way that it also fogs up people’s understanding of their relationship, so that people can see the kind of kaylor that they want to see.

i hope you enjoyed my non answer!!

[tadpolesonalgae]

CBMTHY is quite literally my favorite thing right now, the past 3 parts you've posted I've hidden in the bathroom at work and read (sometimes twice) and I genuinely can't get enough. I love angst and your writing definitely fulfills that craving i have for it (please do more eventually).

You have such a realistic (delightful may i add) portrayal of azriel's not so good tendencies. i feel like he would push away someone who genuinely likes him away in favor of someone unobtainable. especially if she wasnt traditionally beautiful compared to someone like elain who could bring kings to their knees, nesta who is so effortlessly graceful and stoic, and feyre who is literally high lady and bagged not one, not two but THREE highlords (she could've had tarquin if she wanted lets be so forreal).

In comparison anyone would be plain, so reader being overlooked makes sense. And so az getting jealous that she of all people is getting attention from males after learning about her initial attraction to him is PERFECT. Because elain doesn't like him back, not with her having a mate and def not now that she knows her sister likes him. So azriel. to feel better about his rejected advances uses reader's affections to validate himself.

And don't even get me started on Eris 😭 this is the best writing for him ive seen. because hes an ass, he knows hes an ass. but with the way reader fought back against him after the swan incident you can practically FEEL that hes pleasantly surprised because who in their right mind is that unfiltered in front of a future highlord? and its only cemented with the conversation about the orrery. if he knew it bothered azriel on a personal level im sure he would do even more things for reader, (which id love to see), but i think that his gift in this most recent part is evidence enough that he respects her far more than az has in his entire time of knowing reader.

i definitely want to see azriel grovel, but i dont want her to accept it. she deserves to be respected by someone from day one. someone who can challenge her and match her energy, and i think that eris is that person long term. *maybe bas for short term ;) *

anyway, thank you so much if you read this. i look forward to reading your next part while hiding away at work

-a new reader 🤠

🥹🫂 well I really hope it continues to be as fulfilling as you’ve so far found it to be!

‘please do more eventually’

Going down a slightly more depressing path, I have found myself speculating about some other fic ideas that, quite frankly, I’m not sure they would even still count as angst? They seem to be leaning much more into general misery with no redemption? And I’m kind of liking it?

Returning to the whole idea of mental illness within the acotar universe, I’m wondering about self-esteem, too? Everyone in the Inner Circle has a “use” I guess? I’m wondering what it would be like to be surrounded by such powerful, capable people for two years and being the only one who has nothing to show for the time spent feeding off their charity.

Eris really scares me in terms of writing his character with a semblance of realism 😭

We haven’t really gotten a chance to see him being “nice” to anyone which makes me wary of a potential relationship between him and Reader? It’s a stressful like to walk, is what I’m saying, so I’m happy you’re finding it believable 🧡💛

‘if he knew it bothered azriel on a personal level im sure he would do even more things for reader’

Definitely agree with you there 🤭

‘i look forward to reading your next part while hiding away at work’

Well, I’ve been trying to get started on part 7 so hopefully you won’t have to wait too much longer (just make sure you don’t get caught🧡💛)

[charmante-mp3]

Devilish - Ch. IV

The more I write on this the more scared I get, knowing damn well I can't write action scenes for the life of me.

--

Warnings below; - This is a demon!Ateez x angel!reader (not for long however) so there is talk of religion. As an atheist I really don't refer to 'God' or Jesus but I do not mean any harm for religion. In this writing I do, however, use real religious names, that being said, this is purely fiction! - Also for confusion purposes, I do cut back and forth from present to future. If you see '~' that is currently what is happening, so be aware! - Descriptions of injury/violence

(This entire thing might just go unedited but it's nice to warn ppl)

Prologue <<prev.<< | >>next.>> 1.0k

--

The angel towered over the man, the four wings gave the idea that he was cornered. However, the demon's posture didn’t falter from fear. Instead it inspired Hongjoong to stand stronger as the archangel attempted to intimidate him. They stood in the stretch of grey separating heaven and hell. Hongjoong wore his usual cloak, yet let his horns and crown peak out from under the hood. 

“I’ve heard you’ve come to strike a deal, what would a demon king have to offer?” The angel's voice boomed through the never ending air. 

“Something important of course, I don’t think you would be opposed to accepting.” Hongjoong spoke, a pushing tone lacing his voice. The figure ahead of him stood silent, edging the demon to continue his offer.

“I’ve come to offer peace once and for all Michael. I may be the descendant of Azazel but that doesn’t mean I have to follow his steps,” Hongjoong addressed the entity with respect. 

“Isn’t that a tempting offer, and how do I know you’ll keep true to this?” The archangel was right to be hesitant of the offer. Years of never ending war causing such loss on both ends coming to a halt was an idea out of their minds.

“Keep us in, and with that I ask you to keep yours out,” Hongjoong stated. 

“If I was able to do that, I would’ve done it long ago,” Michael countered.

“Of course, which is why I’m offering to help you with this blockade,” 

~

Ye’un could only hold me for so long. That was made clear as we both tumbled to the ground just before the exit. She ran forward, unknowingly leaving me behind. I was frozen as Michael himself and two other figures stood beside him. Once Ye’un was out she turned sharply towards me. Realizing I had not followed her footsteps took her back, unfortunately the archangel stopped her. 

“Ye’un it’s too late for her to return now,” He spoke. Panic ran through Ye’un and myself. Instantly, she was soon led away from the gates back to the place that was once my home. Her body gave out, disappointment lacing her veins as Michael pushed her far away from me. 

Confusion laced my brain as I was trying to understand everything happening. I walked further into the shadows attempting to keep my presence hidden. The rush from escaping was quickly leaving my body, allowing the pain from my wing to seep in. I brought my hand up to the arrow, bracing myself as I ripped it out. As I was trying to make as little noise as possible, I couldn’t stop the tiny scream leaving my lips. 

“Oh I don’t think so little angel,” My head was suddenly glued to the ground, as a heavy boot made contact with my scalp. 

“Some of us don’t exactly agree with you staying here,” He spoke. I could feel a cold blade slowly make its way up my back. 

“Your wings would make a lovely trophy, let’s see how you hold up huh? Maybe start out with a few feathers,” And with that I could feel a sharp pain right above my recent injury. I cried out as three more stings radiated from my feathers being pulled out of me.

“That’s no fun, I think it’s time to take these from you now,” I froze at his words, the cold blade was no longer present. I wasn’t able to process where it might’ve gone as it had pierced the area where my wings met my back. It was the loudest I had been in my life, my scream pierced the air, hoping this would be over soon.

~

Hongjoong was furious, he had enough of Dagon and his constant raids. The six members landed at the entrance of the castle. They spotted many of their guards keeping Dagon’s poor excuse of an army away, as it was quite easy. Jongho made his way over to one whose back had been turned from them. He had easily kicked them down as a glare of annoyance laced his face.

“So, where’s your leader today?” He asked the minion. Suddenly they laughed, a wicked cackle, “wouldn’t you like to know, where’s your precious angel hmmm?” They continued the heinous laughter as Jongho turned to their leader confused. Just as he was about to question each of them, Mingi and Yunho appeared in front of them.

“They're gone,” Mingi said, right before a sharp shrill echoed in the air. With one look at each other, the eight members took off. Their destination being the location of the scream, the noise causing a panic in each member.

~

Mingi stood bored in the room with Yunho, a few feet away from the two angels cowered in the corner. No one spoke as Yunho and Mingi had to keep their ears open for intruders. 

“Does this happen often,” A quiet voice spoke. The two demons quickly looked over to the other two figures.

“Unfortunately, Hongjoong made peace with angels once he began his reign. There is truly no reason for us to fight, however, there is a large group that doesn’t exactly agree with our decision,” Yunho spoke after clearing his throat. Y/n’s body had untensed a bit, yet still stood guard of the two men. Ye’un had begun to question the two men, but a crash from outside the door stopped her. It flew open and four other demons rushed into the room, the two on guard quickly stood to protect the angels.

“Y/n, now’s our chance,” Ye’un said grabbing Y/n’s hand and rushing toward a window. She had time as Y/n was away to take in the appearance of the room and knew once there was a chance, this window was their only option. They busted the window open to stand on the small ledge. 

“Hey, wait, stop it’s-” They didn’t let the dark headed demon finish as they flung themselves out, trusting their wings to lead them home.

~

“You mean to tell me you saw two angels on the outskirts of hell?” The dark, looming figure spoke. A hooded figure nodded, confirming their story. 

“Then it’s time to cause a bit of disruption for his majesty,”

[joojeans]

so ive been struggling with wanting to start writing smut bc i’m scared my future partner would be upset by it but i saw that you’re in a relationship and still write smut! can you explain your mindset on it as advice for me to maybe start writing?

i think it's most important for me to say this: please do not make choices for yourself based on what a future partner may or may not like! your choices should be yours and you should find someone that is comfortable with those choices. the partner should always come second to you and what you want to do. your life is for you. anyone that is lucky enough to be allowed into your life can either choose to accept who you are or leave. i don't want you to get into a habit of denying yourself things that might bring you joy and fulfillment because you're worried that other people might not like it. if they don't like it, they're not your people. <3

as for me writing smut while being in a relationship, i'm not sure if what i have to say will be very helpful? i'm in a long distance relationship, so my partner doesn't actively see me writing or what i'm writing. he knows i write, but we don't really talk about it. i find writing smut extremely helpful for me in continuing to express my sexuality, though! because we are apart, i obviously am not sexually active with him (other than in the ways you can be from a distance), so writing helps me to keep sexuality in my life in a different way. i'm a very sexual person by nature, so it's important for me to have this outlet. my partner and i are very open-minded people, though, so we tend to give each other a lot more freedom and trust than the people around us give to their partners. i would say that if you find yourself in a relationship but still want to write smut, you just have to have a conversation with your partner about it and see how they feel about it. some people will not be bothered, some will. it's really impossible to predict if you don't already have a partner, so as i was saying before, just make the best choice for you. if someone comes along and decides they don't like a part of your past (or present) that brought you happiness, that person simply isn't for you.

i hope this helps, love ♡ please always make yourself happy first. no one should be more important to you than you.

[icharchivist]

gosh, mentioning your friend who got bowled over by act 2 autumn must’ve been foreshadowing, because I, who foolishly was like, oh I don’t think I’ll relate to azami that much he’s very different from me but it’ll be fun to see autumn, cried twice while going thru the back half of this story. jeez. I’ll may have to be a bit less chronological than usual for the sake of keeping all of that stuff later.

zombie run night was rly great! more like zombie fun night amirite. I’m sorry I make bad jokes. banri getting azami to be a zombie as well was so nice like. again he’s being a good leader.

tenma being scared of zombies makes sense obviously. I’m with him. not zombies but when I was staying with a relative a while back I found a lizard the length of my hand in the bathroom and then refused to use that bathroom for the rest of my stay.

I really liked the eyeball necklace detail—it made the event feel real and also considerate? the moment yuki just went … at tenma I Knew he had planted the necklace on him tho. he’s so funny for that. seeing that and being like yeah tenma you’re so right. you don’t need to participate. cant believe mankai didn’t recognize banri when he caught them. azami must have some stellar makeup skills

azami going after sakyo and haunting him abt his budget lifestyle was sooo funny. like I was bracing for something slightly charged to happen but it was just funny. and he had a good time!! I’m glad. I liked that banri was like. still encouraging to azami even tho his acting motives aren’t the purest lol. I mean to be fair he has no room to talk there but it’s also just nice to like. meet him where he’s at. like we see azami doesn’t really get The Feeling until closing night but. things take time.

azami and omis whole thing was. so good. like the way he won’t even like accept a bandaid is so. azami… I loved the way they resolved it? first seeing omi juza and tsuzuru talking in uni was cool. but then kumon approaching azami was like. so nice. again the way that they like talk and kumon’s like I miss summer! and u can Hear the smile in azamis voice when he’s like come on summer literally just ended!

but him being awkward around omi bc he’s not sure what a mother should be like… gosh. like the way he describes the whole thing as like. strange and confusing I’m going to vote the wall like. like yeah actually that’s exactly how it feels when someone is kind to you in a way you haven’t yet experienced it makes you want to throw it off immediately bc it’s like whoa whoa hold on. I’m not allowed this kind of thing. anyways just. no wonder he likes kumon so much that guy is like, effusive in his praise and azami probably likes having ppl around who are Nice like that. loved omis portrait. it was so good. and it like. absolutely sucks that he had to grow up that quick. very nice to see nachi again, though. but when kid-omi was like: one day in the future. I’ll take a break for myself :) omi. omi I’m shaking you. have you ever really done that. well ig now that he’s living in mankai he’s letting his family take care of housework and stuff? but like, still.

minor note but when they’re doing a street act it was rly cool to see juza just like seamlessly and confidently advertise the play. he’s come so far…

*cracks knuckles* alright all of that was warmup now it’s time for the BIG STUFF. azami almost got hit by a car!!!! the cg there was like. So Good. like the way sakyo is absolutely Frazzled… yeah. like god I keep thinking abt that cg. its sooo. wow!! i dont think ive seen sakyo look so distressed!!! hes not wearing glasses bc he was so shocked that he ended up breaking his glasses in the rush to get there!! its like. azami look... u have a dad that wishes for your every happiness... and azami is just Sitting There mostly unharmed and looking a little confused like huh… why’s sakyo looking so out of sorts… it’s wonderful. and the way sakyo is like even if it was just a scrape I need to find who did this and hurt them. like godddd and the way he’s like “so I don’t even have the right to worry about you anymore?” I am. Going to cry.

what rly got me tho was like the whole jin-gi-oh cards though bc like first off sakyo remembered ALL of them but also!! also just the way u can hear azami kind of mumble stutter like we-well I bet he doesn’t even remember the card stuff (why would he really care about me…) and then sakyo clearly Does. and it’s just like.

it’s so clear that while sakyo is convinced that he barely has the right to talk to azami bc he betrayed him by chasing after his dream… a lot of what azami is worried about is that sakyo doesn’t care about him anymore. like imagine you’re fourteen and you’ve just learned that the guy you secretly think of as your dad, who’s like the only one that’s supported your dreams, is leaving you to pursue his own. without you. and you get into a huge fight with him about it and storm off. and then a week passes and you don’t hear from him. months pass and you don’t hear from him. whenever he’s around doing ginsenkai stuff you just… don’t really talk to him. and you’re fourteen maybe fifteen so you’re too embarrassed to reach out first. besides if he left that easily maybe this whole thing was just a job to him, huh? maybe he never liked you as much as you liked him. whatever. whatever. it’s fine. like the “I bet he’s having so much fun now” line azami says… it’s so clear he believes like. oh sakyo was slumming it with me and left for greener pastures.

and of course sakyo is sitting there like oh I’ve committed the biggest betrayal ever by not supporting his dreams well enough. he probably hates me and doesn’t want to ever see my face again. and like that’s not helping.

and then you run away from your bio dad because you can’t let go of your own dreams and when you don’t have anywhere to go it turns out that you can actually run to the place sakyo went to. and strangest of all sakyo is letting you stay. like the way he just. the pause he has when sakyo says he’s basically his guardian. the feeling of. sakyo is… admitting that? does he… does he WANT to be my dad (I thought he didn’t want to—)

and now you’re here in a hospital and just saw sakyo was super worried about you and also like. maybe treasures you in the way that you thought he did. sakyo says his story of running away is about a pathetic kid but it’s also like. for azami he just learned that the card thing he did with sakyo and liked so much that he still keeps them carefully is actually a parent-child thing sakyo did with his own mom!!! it’s like. oh my god.

azami talking abt his own experience with buying cards and then his dad trashing them, though… I. hm. I am going to leave the section abt azami’s bio dad alone bc I’m tempted to get mean about it and I kind of want to leave that for later.

so, skipping forward to the actual play… it was so cool to see summer come in for support! and I always love seeing how the chapters extend what we see in the actual play. also the voice acting that’s good too. the one thing I noticed was like. “you remember the boy with brown hair you killed three years ago?” who’s going to tell them that taichis hair is as red as ever. so roy’s hair was never brown. it got kinda brown when he became undead? but before I don’t think it was.

cannot believe those asshole delinquents were the ones who almost hit azami. the title “buff high schooler” is just rly funny to me tho. sakoda chasing after azami and then calling everyone was so good of him. smart choice my guy. love how everyone in autumn (minus taichi who seems a little nervous) is like. it’s fighting time. very cool to see all of natsugumi volunteer to be opening act. was confused by the “I always repay my debts” line but I think it’s for banri acting as stand in for kumon? which is nice bc it’s like. tenma is the one saying this so it rly just gives the idea that like. natsugumi is a team yknow. and later when they do the acting it meshes so well with the actual play? bc like they had a specific point where they were like oh let’s adlib and do some comedy that’s undead related to make sure the play isn’t a bummer. and then here’s natsugumi just doing like those sorts of jokes.

anyways back to azamis kidnapping.

muku: won’t it be bad if they see ur faces?

me: …ah. I have. the faintest idea of where this is going [judo bear nozaki flashes to my head]

THE CG WAS. THE BEST POSSIBLE USE OF A CG EVER ITS SO GOOD. I LOST MY SHIT. THE HOLLOW EYES R KINDA TERRIFYING IN A REALLY FUNNY WAY. TAICHI THIS WAS AN AMAZING IDEA. the guitar / bass guitar (? idk instruments) that rolls in during this scene is amazingggg. it’s just the like instrumental break part of respawn which is. I went and listened to that after finishing boyhood collage and the song is like, sooooo good. much love to it. the rly fast vocal parts made me think of the fast parts of worlds end dancehall. which is like also apocalyptic setting so that was cool. also I love worlds end dancehall.

they were so funny during this tho. sakyo going “roooar. give us back our friend, you punkass kids.” and juza forgetting what bears sound like so he just literally goes “beaaarrrr” what are you a Pokémon?

and sakoda running towards azami!!! <3 I grew soooo much affection for sakoda in this story tbh like he takes care of azami so well!

thought it was very interesting that like. when they return, everyone in natsugumi is audibly exhausted minus tenma (he’s probably got great acting stamina) and misumi (I don’t think he says any lines here? but he’s probably just got excellent physical stamina. and he and tenma did start out with the like best acting chops of the troupe) which is a cool detail.

and then azami just carefully opening up that he was terrified. not of being hit but of disappointing them and the play. and then when he says to sakyo… “I’m only saying this once, but when I was a kid, I always thought of you as my dad. And… I still do.” IM GOING TO CRY. idk. like the way that azami just Says That and let’s it hang there and then they do the play.

izumi: wow the fight scenes r intense today! (please don’t tell me it’s bc they were just actually fighting…)

damn izumi what do u want me to tell you then. huh. they stomped in their with their animal heads and azami pirouetted back to mankai? no violence involved?

and sakoda crying at the play!! again I can hear the smile in azamis voice when sakodas like bawling in front of him. when azami was like. shift couldn’t make it…? I paused and was like. azami implied shift had an interest in theater at the end of act 2 summer… could it be… and then when azami was like “the god troupe, huh…” I was like ahhhh fuck. we shall see what goes on there later ig.

also they bring up vkei again when talking abt what they want to do next and izumi shut it down… what do u have against it! honestly eyes emoji at masumi saying he likes it, tho... mazumi expressing an opinion that doesnt align with izumi's personal tastes??? maybe I’m missing something.

but the ENDING!!!!!

citron: "I have reached my limit..." AND THEN GUYS THERE HES LITERALLY THERE!!!!! I’m assuming the <> for their dialogue means they’re speaking in their native tongue anyways im going to obsess over <Citronia.> <I've come to get you.> / <I've been wondering when you'd get here.> I knew guy was coming to get citron so I’m glad to see that’s confirmed… already gave my theories on the specifics so I’m interested to see if I’m anywhere close to the mark there.

okay and Now I can talk abt azamis bio dad. i. uh. I hate him. actually he really grinds my gears in a way I didn’t think was going to happen. so I’m worried that I’m being like somewhat unfair to him bc I’m projecting my own biases onto him. so I’m sorry if u have like good opinions of him. it’s rly so funny tho I knew azami did like makeup and stuff and I was like “oh I have. No Interest in makeup or skincare so I probably won’t relate to it too hard” and then This happened and it’s like I got hit with a bowling ball.

like goddd. the way azami is like yeah I bought some cards with my allowance, and then my dad who’s not sakyo found out and threw them out. “I learned then to never let my dad get his hands on anything I’d bought with my own money” gah… not to overshare but like, I feel azami so much there. growing up I would like. never want to tell my parents I liked Anything bc I knew they’d be like oh you’re so silly and dumb and stupid for wanting any kind of merch or collectibles! it’s such a hassle!! why do u like this stupid thing!! so. ahah. I went to a concert for the first time this year and I remember my parents thinking it was weird but then one day my dad called me and he was like oh I was talking to a colleague abt the concert you’re going too and he says that band you like is like, super cool and popular. so it’s like ah. ig now that an Adult has approved it I’m a cool kid now. the same way my writing was worth shit and was totally useless until a family friend kept gushing about the way I’d helped their daughter. anyways what I’m saying it is azami I get it.

and his dad then trashed his makeup, too… like the way sakyos defense for the handmade cards were that they were like “yakuza” cards so he couldn’t complain like it’s a flimsy defense but the fact that he even had to like, make a Justification about these cards when it’s like. these handmade cards aren’t going to help azami fit in or make friends at all so like they’re not accomplishing what the store bought ones were for. but like you still need to defend against it.

but yeah the way it’s like. wow at a pretty young age azami was like oh okay. so if I like ANYTHING I can’t tell my dad about it or he might ruin it. do I feel that this is perhaps part of why he seems so cautionary abt romance yeah sure.

the first time I actually teared up during this whole thing was actually sakyo in the hospital telling azami not to give up. that he can do it even in defiance of his parents. and it’s so meaningful bc sakyos like his DAD. and he’s telling him he’ll support him… like idk. something so heartwarming abt a parental figure being like, hey, you need to prize yourself to the point that if needs must, you can even rebel against me.

the conversation sakyo and izumi have after that, too… “after seeing my boss, I get the feeling there’s no dad out there who doesn’t care about his kids.” this line makes me feel. So Complicated. like I won’t deny the fact that I think azamis dad cares for him on…. Some level…. but it’s like homares grandmother. im glad she loved him but it doesn’t erase the ways that she hurt him, yknow?

also sakyo. you live with misumi tenma and masumi. masumi you can maybe argue his dad caring abt him and same with tenma (but. I mean I’m not HAPPY abt arguing that bc they r rly under baseline care.) but anyways are u gonna do that with misumi’s dad. then again probably only summer troupe knows about the situation there… honestly sakyo probably knows nothing abt the tenma situation too. so he’d only know about masumi and masumis dad seemed like fairly reasonable and nice at the end.

sakoda was so cool here tho. first off having the nerve to even try to still lie about the tickets to protect azami. and then when azami got dragged to his bio dad the fact that sakoda just. started yelling at him? amazing. this made me cry again. like yeah sakodas been watching him… what azamis doing isn’t child’s play! he’s right! and sakoda knows all of this bc he’s been caring abt that kid for forever!! to the point that he’ll yell at the yakuza head like this bc he cares that much!!!

and azami is like. god. I rly love the way he was like. so openly resentful. “Since when have you ever been a father to me?! Dont pull that shit on me now!” ouch. so true though.

and the. the way that uh. “Wh-what are you bowing for? This asshole doesn’t deserve—“ you can HEAR the trembling in his voice. he’s holding back tears. sakyo bowing FOR azami is so good. like I think this scene hit me so hard bc like both sakoda and sakyo who have the lives they do now mostly in thanks to the ginsenkai, are like… sticking up for azami. who is fifteen and thus hasn’t really Given them anything but like his presence. and they care enough about him to stick up for him anyways.

anyways I hadn’t thought abt this until now but it’s like huh… yeah no wonder azami made something up. he wouldn’t want to talk abt sakyo in front of sakyo bc that would be like admitting he still cared abt him. and he didn’t want to talk abt his parents in front of sakyo bc uh. it would be complicated ofc. like in his boyhood collage he was like oh I don’t even remember why I ran away, but shift was probably frustrated and stuff. but like clearly azamis mom had just recently died at that point. he probably just didn’t want to talk about that.

the reveal that the magic brush he uses on kumon was his mothers makeup brush, though… like the way it was her cheek blush to make herself look less sick. and he does the same thing for kumon years later. it just makes it… so much more affectionate. ”I wanted to use its magic to make someone happy like that again. I wanted to do for someone else what I could no longer do for my mom.” and YOU DID!!!

and then his bio dad’s response to all of this. “well, aren’t you all just making me out to be some evil villain. you think there’s a parent out there who doesn’t want to support his child’s dreams?” yes. yes absolutely.

and the way his reasoning is just like. he just thought azami was making up excuses to run away from the family. that uh. that’s not. true… ugh this part is what made me so frustrated. like azami, after his portrait, so very specifically asserts that’s he’s his son and because of that he’ll do anything for him and ginsenkai family. and it’s like. Yeah. I know what it’s like to be so aware of your position as someone’s child and know that even as you hate them you will also do anything for them even if they won’t recognize that. like… he never even asked. azami was so pissed about getting his makeup trashed that he literally ran away and didn’t come back. and you’re still assuming oh it was a little side hobby, if he REALLY cared about it he would’ve, what, psychic mind beamed the force of his feelings to you? if you had paid attention like sakyo or sakoda you would’ve clearly seen how long and how deeply he’s loved it for. even if it had been for a short time how would you know it wouldn’t grow into something else, anyways. like acting.

also his “study your ass off and aim for the top.” line about makeup and then when he gifts him the makeup set later… good on him for personally buying that stuff. but that line left such a sour taste for me bc it’s like. ugh… honestly it just hit a sore spot bc I remember my parents being like. hi child. you can do like, anything you want supposedly but if you want to do like Anything in the humanities field or arts field you’ll have to be the top 1% of it otherwise you’ll die alone. so like if you’re not good enough to do that just quit (I am implying you’re not good enough). and it’s just like. idk. the sort of implications that if azamis not like the best at makeup ever and also that if he hadn’t chosen to do it bc of his mother and it was just something he Liked, then that reason wouldn’t be enough…? that’s just the vibe I get.

also azamis bio dad being like sigh I’ll tell sayuri you’ve become a strong independent man instead of the family head. it just rly irks me like. even now it felt like hey old man. are you looking more at your dead wife than you’re looking at your actual child. because that’s what it feels like.

anyways idk. I hope azami has more space later in life to be a bit more resentful bc I think he deserves it, yknow? I think the way the whole thing went down like, Made Sense bc why would that guy like admit he had hurt his son… that’s like. unrealistic. so I don’t think the story was written badly or anything. it just made me like. really sad. azami didn’t end up loudly crying (im not counting the wailing he has to do in the play for his dead dad.) and like that makes sense to me. actually I think it was very Cool Of Him to never lose his composure That Badly. uh and he’s going to do great considering he as a middle schooler is like rolling normally with college students. but I just want him to be like. feel safe even when he’s not excelling, yknow?

I fear I lost the plot or rambled a bit too hard there at the end, so sorry if it’s incoherent!! I rly like azami!! this was a very good story. im also ridiculously excited for winter.

HUH OH. SORRY ABOUT THAT LMAO. a3 relatability strikes again?

let's go into it!

dFKJDFKLFDJ zombie fun night is perfect. Banri is really being a good leader and figuring out how to have Azami engage with what they're going to do it's just. god Banri is good.

HELPP. Tenma scaredycat, but also for the lizard thing, so valid, i would do the same. AND HELP for the necklace. This is so funny. and yeah Azami's makeup skills truly are shining there! DLKFJDKLFJD being so used to a3 dropping emotional bombs that this just ended up being funny makes it even softer. But yeah agreed on the way Banri coaches him and still encourages him even though it's obvious Azami doesn't feel the same way about theater yet. For Banri who went from uninterested to "this is my whole life actually", it must be jarring to look at this past mirror, but even more reasons to take it easy.

God the Omi and Azami scene was so good. (friend was staring into oblivion during this whole scene and then cursed me. I would love to be all awww but i couldn't stop laughing.)

But yeah it was so nice that like, so many of them worked together in trying to help out? like it really shows that they're really all a family and a community now, and they'll try to help with their newest members as well. AND AWW. yeah Summer is happiness itself. always missing them. even Azami cannot resist them.

BUT YEAH Azami's awkwardness aroound Omi is just. man. Exactly as you say, it's just, difficult to approach right. but yeah it does serve to justify why it goes smoothly with Kumon on the other hand. Omimi's portrait… just, absolutely heartbreaking again as always. I wonder if Omi did take a break when he was being a delinquant and therefore is doubling down on being of service because he still feels guilty for this time. or if him joining the theater troupe is his vision of taking a break since it means his family has to handle things on their own. Or maybe like Juza and Taichi he's just being too hard on himself.

JUZA SO GOOD. ALWAYS.

and here's the meat of it! yes that CGI was so good man. You really feel just how important Azami is to Sakyo in that image. Also if i recall correctly, Kumon panicked over the phone so they really all expected it to be bad while it was just, Kumon panicking, which somewhat makes it even funnier to me. Anyway. Sakyo good dad. that's all i'd say. god this scene is so emo. AND YESS SOBS THE CARDS STUFF. IT'S GENUINELY SO EMO. Azami not able to believe Sakyo would care this much while of course Sakyo does, come on and it's just. god this arc. God the whole way you describe Azami's thoughtprocess is bringing me to tears. I feel like this is exactly how he felt it yeah. Sakyo is worrying about how he "betrayed" Azami by leaving while Azami would have been just fine with it if it didn't feel like Sakyo was abandonning him and only thinking of him as a duty, and it's just. godd. and goddd the way you describe the rest i'm just. soso emo. They really have a neat relationship, a hurt neither of them were able to explain to the other and therefore they hurt one another like that, but they genuinely care so much and want to be part of each other's lives and and y'know what Azami maybe Sakyo is the only dad you need.

SUMMER SO COOL YEAH!! And yeah the play is pretty nice, though yeah. I guess with Azami at makeup they tried new hair things but Taichi's hair stayed too red for it all smh! but i guess in a huge theater it might not matter so much.

SAKODA IS SOOOO GOOD, UNSUNG MVP OF THIS EPISODE. yeah for Tenma's "i always repay my debts" it's about how Autumn helped Kumon out, so Summer is going to help Autumn and Azami out as well basically. And yeah Tenma definitely see them as a team, he's Natsugumi's leader and therefore he speaks for and takes debts for all of Natsugumi. What a lad. But Natsugumi did such a good job and i love how hard they helped on this one. truly MVPs.

Also yes i love how all of Autumn was ready to fight except Taichi who was nervous, but i love even more that it's Taichi who comes up with the plan on how to infiltrate the base. Really reminding us that he was with the "Bad Boys" because of spy related crimes by how he can come up with plans to infiltrate stuff, but also i love this so much. It's kinda where i started to have my headcanon of "Taichi is scaryingly smart when it comes to illegal stuff". Like the idea of Taichi messing up say, simple math, but coming up with an infiltration plan that would even have Chikage pause is one of my favorit headcanons ever, and it all started because of this.

BUT YES THE CG WAS SO GODDAMN PERFECT. IT'S ONE OF MY FAV CG EVER IT'S SO FUNNY. And with the song in the back, it was GLORIOUS. i'm glad you liked Respawn!!!! it's such a neat song! Also i need to share this stage video: https://www.tumblr.com/icharchivist/708632707674079232?source=share

BUT YEAH it was so funny and i lOVE that they were dedicated in like, actually playing their animals like. dguys you didn't HAVE to. you're just so funny. AND JUZA'S "BEAAAR", it's so good. I love them so much.

Sakoda MPV <33333 he really does take care of Azami so well it's really soft.

And yeah Summer's exhaustion is a nice detail. god it makes me wonder for how long they went on, a wonder the public didn't get weirded out by it.

AND SOBS YEAH AZAMI'S SPEECH. YEAH. And also the "maybe it's because i have two assholes dad that i turned into such an asshole" with a bright smile on his face. god he's so good.

And eheheh for Shift, but, yeah. yeah…. AND SAKODA REALLY GOOD. and please just let them having some vkei related play it's all good!! it's worth it!! maybe this time none of you would oppose Juza wearing a dress if the whole thing is about being scared he wouldn't look feminine enough smh!! AND LDKJFKLDFJD MASUMI'S RARE INDIVIDUALISTIC MOMENT.

AND THAT ENDING!!! yeah < > are for foreign languages in general, and in their case it's their native one. But finally. Guy teasing just to build up to it now!!!

Ok so, now, Azami's dad.

"my dad who's not Sakyo" i love that we're carrying it on on "Real Dad Sakyo" and "Not Sakyo Dad", it says everything.

And i'm all good with the oversharing as long as you're comfortable with it, and man. Yeah i feel you on that, my family is pretty much the same. I've also had my family like, throw out or destroy my stuff, important stuff, either without my knowledge or in front of me, so to say i felt Azami really hard would be an understatement. It's a whole level of violation that is just, really hard to swallow and forgive. Impossible even.

Honestly the whole writings over the problematic dads of Mankai, in the whole story, is so conflicting to me in general. I feel like. The issue is that most of the bad parents we meet don't have anything else going for them, the only thing we know about them per se is their function in society, and that they're bad with their kids. They're tools for their kids's backstory more than actual people. And i feel like Azami's dad actually sounds like a real person. A conflicting, messed up person with his own issues, and that ends up hurting Azami as a result. There's a difficulty to reconcile how the dad took good care of Sakyo as a kid for instance, to how he behaved with Azami, and it's really unnerving in general. And as such it puts Sakyo in a position of wanting to defend the man because he owes him so much, and it's difficult to blame him for that, but as a result Azami loses one of his major support.

Honestly my feelings about Azami's dad are complicated. I believe he's the one father of Mankai who can actually realistically work on his issues and improves his relationship with Azami. I believe he cares for Azami on some level more than just material (in opposition to how i'd consider Tenma's, who cared for his carreer more, and Masumi's, who only cared when he needed to fill his divorce's loneliness, and well, Misumi's don't care.). So i end up believing there is a possibility still for this relationship to improve in a realistic way that doesn't feel just like a deus ex machina like the others dads have been. but god, this particular brand of neglect and mistreatment truly also struck a core with me and therefore i can't totally go unbiased about it and ends up just, uncomfortable and unsure. It's so complicated.

Mostly i'd say my different approach is that, even if Tenma, Masumi or Misumi wants to work things out with their dad, i would be completely opposed to it. Purely "why the fuck, no, that's not worth it" at them. But if Azami wants to work it out it's like. "Fine. just stay safe, know you can remove yourself from it whenever you feel like it, and remember to be yourself, and bail out anytime something would go out of hands". yaknow?

But yeah i agree i feel like it really puts Azami in a position of hypervigilence. Everything had to always be a secret, calculated, you only show to your father what you're ready to defend, and it would make some stuff like romance or passions in general, stuff that leaves you emotionally vulnerable, as something that's just too much risk for very little reward. So you just closes in completely.

so Sakyo being there and actually showing him that he can just be himself and he doesn't have to worry more ahead of it is meaningful because yeah, like you say, it gives him a parental figure who is actually willing to let him experiment and be free without having to always be prepared to defend why you want to do something.

“after seeing my boss, I get the feeling there’s no dad out there who doesn’t care about his kids.” i actually really hate this line in a sense, i know Sakyo is mostly just, extrapolating to what he's seeing now, but i hate it on a personal level. I do think Azami's dad cares for Azami, but yeah exactly like you said, like Homare's grandma, his own issues means he hurt Azami in ways that are ways too deep for love to just be enough. Sometimes parents love you and hurt you more than a parent who would merely tolerate you. Because they love you so much they want to make sure you're well fitted to the world and ends up messing you up as a result.

But yeah god, i'm glad we're on the same page, you can't say "all dads care for their kids" when you're living with those kids, and Misumi's in particular. This makes me see so red. I get Sakyo has a personal bias here but giod. but yeah Sakyo probably only knows about Masumi's and yeah, Masumi's dad was reasonable at the end that he might work it out. but also like, didn't Sakyo's dad abandon hm and his mom?! that the whole reason his mom had a hard time in life was because of that? bc i don't remember if Sakyo's absent dad is due to abandon or death. Bc if it's abandon, i feel like Sakyo shouldn't be the one saying all dad cares yaknow? I still think that, the Wastonian reasons of it all, is because Sakyo owes so much to the Boss that he tries to rationalize things in his favor yaknow? But the Doylist reason, i think, is mostly that the one weakness of a3's writing is truly with how they manage to create realistic scenarios of abuses and the way it affects the kids, but then they want to solve it with the parents going "my bad", and the problem is that it's not how coping with abuse works yaknow.

SAKODA IS SOOO COOL HERE YEAH. Like man, the glow up Sakoda got in this arc with how much he would go to hell for this kid and fight the devil himself if he had to. god. unsung mvp.

Azami is totally entitled to throw that at his father's face, go Azami go.

" sakyo bowing FOR azami is so good. like I think this scene hit me so hard bc like both sakoda and sakyo who have the lives they do now mostly in thanks to the ginsenkai, are like… sticking up for azami. who is fifteen and thus hasn’t really Given them anything but like his presence. and they care enough about him to stick up for him anyways. " OGHHH SO TRUE. THIS IS REALLY SO. SO GOOD.

and you're right about Azami's collage being the way it was. It makes sense Azami just didn't want to share this vulnerability, especially with Sakyo, at a point where he still believed Sakyo didn't care for him on top of that. It's really just. man.

SOBS AND YEAH FOR THE MAGIC BRUSH….

"and then his bio dad’s response to all of this. “well, aren’t you all just making me out to be some evil villain. you think there’s a parent out there who doesn’t want to support his child’s dreams?” yes. yes absolutely. " DJFHDL LEGIT. GOD.

But yeah i feel you on everything else you mention about Azami's dad it's just. Acting like Azami was at fault for not making it clear he was serious, while also making the environment too hostile for Azami to even come out and say that. He's responsible for how Azami couldn't trust him and then he blames Azami for not trusting him in a sense. It's really frustrating, and it feels like he's deflecting the blame, while also kinda taking the blame itself. I'm glad he's trying to fix things, and i do think he feels guilty, but it's still so sour.

and i'm so sorry your parents made you feel all those things :( but yeah i totally get what you mean on how it relates to Azami. It's just so unfair to put on him the pressure to be the best of the best.

In a sense i feel it fits a lot of the thematic of Autumn of like… The reasons they have Regrets to start with is because of the expectations people have put on them, whenever it is over their abilities (Banri) or their appearance (Juza) or their age (Sakyo) ect. And i feel like Azami is in this situation where he's about to regret it if he doesn't take his own life in between his hands. He has to break free from those expectations and fights for what he wants. but god. He shouldn't have to fight for it. ig you can't expect Yakuza to do things the easy way, but god he really shouldn't have to fight for it it makes me so sad.

"are you looking more at your dead wife than you’re looking at your actual child" so true unfortunately hhhh.

But yeah i hope Azami gets more ways to process everything later on :/

I do think that, out of all the bad fathers' plotline, like i said, this is the most realistic one in a sense, and i do think it's well written in general. And i do think that when it comes to abused/neglected kids and their parents, there is also just… i know online the consensus is "children should just cut ties with their toxic parents" and i get how it's the easiest way to see it, to free yourself for good for the influence, but it comes with its own type of downsides that are rarely discussed and is also a lot of pressure to put on a kid. Obviously, if it's too toxic it SHOULD be the case, like i said, chara like Misumi in particular are better off moving past it, but i feel like, in Azami's situation, where despite all the hurt and all the pain, Azami still definitely see his father as a human whom he wants to work things out with… It's just really complicated. I have really messy feelings about all of this.

I do hope Azami would manage to be more resentful and end up being able to actually discuss with his dad and challenge him like, no, YOUR behavior was truly fucked up, it's not fair to ask of ME to communicate my feelings better when you never tried to listen, yaknow?

Anyway i do feel like this sort of… complicated messy conflicting feelings of resentment and yet wanting to work it out that is in Azami and his father's storyline, for how fucked up his father is, actually works very well and is very realistic, even if there would be wishes for Azami not to bother at all for it. I feel like it allows Azami the grace of having really mixed feelings about all of this without going to one extreme or the next about how to be with his father, and it's something i really personally connected with, as someone with a very difficult relationship with my family, who thought cutting ties was my best solution at some point, and now as an adult, have to deal with how while i could never ever forgive them, the other extreme isn't satisfying to me, on multiple levels. I don't like his father, but i want Azami to be able to work it out in the way he would consider satisfying, and i think that the story is written in a way that leaves this approach possible and addresses it as such, in a way i think the others bad dads of Mankai get too much of a free pass. but man. messy. And with the patern of bad dads getting off too easily this can come up as much more sour than the conflicting feelings it could have actually worked on if the others dads were treated accordingly imo.

Azami's storyarc genuinely did hit hard for me as well because of that. He's not a chara i particularly relate to outside of this specific plotline but this plotline hits not only very deep, but on mixed feelings that are hard for me to face in fiction, so it's always hard to look at.

On the light hearted side, my friend we talked about was cursing me the whole storyarc bc of how he related to Azami and then Azami's portrait happened and he genuinely just went "okay you know what fuck you" and was so emotionally damaged by the mirror that i could forget for a bit my own pain by letting him suffer a bit. Terrible friend moment.

Anyway!!! it's all good, i'm glad you did ramble, it was really nice to read and well, it's interesting things to think about, even if the conclusion isn't easily clear cut.

I'm really glad you liked Azami and his story!!!

And ehehe Winter soon <3333

And "Conquering Misoshiosa Island!" first!

Take care and always feel free to ramble <333

[uncloseted]

is it normal to feel scared about only dating women when you come to terms with being a lesbian? it’s hard for me to get over the ideal perfect man i had in my head because he doesn’t exist and i’m scared of dating women and being with one currently because it’s all so new and scary bc Ive barely started my journey with coming out and accepting myself.

It's absolutely normal to feel scared about only dating women. I actually think it's more unusual for people to feel totally confident and comfortable in their sexual identity right when coming out. Letting go of the person who you thought you were going to be and your ideas of the life you were going to have can be really hard, and it can be scary to imagine how things might change now that you know this about yourself. There's no timeline you have to follow, no milestones that need to be met, no rush to start dating, so try to give yourself the time and space you need to process everything.

It might help to start taking small steps towards becoming more comfortable in your own identity and your place in the LGBT community. Attending LGBT events or even just spending time in LGBT spaces online can help you to connect with people who have gone through the same thing you're going through and who can provide you with some perspective, advice, and reassurance as you're navigating all of this. Those kinds of environments can also help you see the different ways lesbian relationships can look, which may help you better imagine what it might be like for you to be in a relationship with a woman and replace the idea you had in your head of what your future would look like.