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staytheword · 2 years ago

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thanks for the memories (lmly, part one)

thanks for the memories — part one of leave me loving you [→ part two] [series masterlist] [general masterlist]

this series (and this blog) are 18+ !! minors, please do not interact!! if you interact with my writing please have a profile picture and short bio indicating your age. it helps me make sure you are not a bot!!

• han jisung x female reader, all other stray kids members are featured. other idols are mentioned briefly (ateez's wooyoung, itzy's yuna).

• non idol au, rock band au. drinking, partying, explicit language, explicit smut. oral sex (f receiving), dirty talk, praise kink, protected sex. (let me know if missed any warnings)

• word count: 11.6k

There’s only one person there, sitting on the edge of the stage, swinging his legs and looking around. For a second you think your eyes must be deceiving you, but it’s him. Han Jisung.

• permanent taglist: @ughbehavior ; @upallnight-s ; @changbinluvr ; @rosexjimin ; @nasiaisan ; @lotus-dly ; @cb97percent ; @j-0ne25 ; @hwan-g ; @jhopesucker ; @tanyas97 ; @raspbinniecreme ; @septicrebel ; @imtoooyoungforthisshit

• story taglist: @mintquokka ; @is2cb97 ; @dirah-h ; @bokk-minnie ; @allypasta ; @strawberriesandknives ; @drhsthl ; @hyunjins-red-lights ; @thesunsfullmoon (hope I didn't forget anyone, sorry if I did I have an awful memory!)

• author’s note: hello ♡!! here is part one of the series! thank you so much for all the support you've given me, it's really heartwarming :') I really really hope you'll enjoy this (can you tell I'm incredibly nervous haha?)! the first part is a bit longer than expected because I wanted to divide it differently but thought it didn't work as well.... ahh. anyway. well. if you can please let me know what you thought ♡ lots of love!

The Jack of Trades is packed tonight, exactly the way you like it. It smells like smoke and booze, colored by neon lights and light projectors. The floor is sticky under the soles of your combat boots, and you have to zig zag through the crowd to make it to the bar.

Tonight is one for the books.

The Trades is hosting the concert of a band who’s visiting your city on their tour. It’s a big deal. The band in question, Side Effects, got featured on Spotify and are really popular on social media. You don’t know them very well - you’ve only heard snippets of one of their songs - but judging from the amount of people squeezed in the Trades tonight, you’re representing a minority.

Leaning against the bar, you catch Yuna’s gaze and raise two fingers. She gives you a nod, her long hair falling in elegant waves on her shoulders. You always order the same thing, anyway, so she doesn’t have to ask. A minute later she hands you two bottles of your favorite beer, which will go straight to your tab, and you give her a thumbs up of encouragement in return.

You can’t remember the last time you’ve seen the place so packed. You don’t think you ever have. It’s usually busy on Fridays, but never like this. You feel a rush of pride because the Trades is your favorite place on this godforsaken planet and you know how hard Changbin worked to get it back on its feet after the last owner deserted.

Speaking about your best friend, he’s where you usually find him, near the mixing console where Jeongin is sitting, focused, his headphones placed on his bleached hair. Changbin is frowning at his phone, clearly busy with final preparations. It’s an important night for him. He lets out a relieved sigh when you hand him his beer.

“Finally,” he lets out, immediately taking a long sip.

You raise an eyebrow at him, smirking. “You’re welcome, Bin.”

He drinks for a few more seconds before answering you - his beer is already half empty.

“Can you see this?” he laughs in disbelief. “The place is fucking packed.”

“You did it, Bin,” you say, lifting your bottle to clink it against his. “You sold out the Trades.”

He grins and cheers to your words before emptying the rest of his beer. When he’s done, he releases a content sigh and you take the empty bottle from his hands.

“I feel better now. I was getting a little stressed,” he chuckles.

“Is everything ready?”

He nods. “Yup. We should be able to start on time,” he says, checking his phone again. “Oh, fuck, no, why is Hyun texting me…” You let your gaze wander around the room as Changbin starts to type frenetically on the phone. It’s hard to believe that only two years ago, this place was nothing. Changbin bought the place as it was falling to ruins. You still remember the first time he showed it to you, making a big show out of it. He put a blindfold around your eyes and everything - and when you saw the dusty floor, the bare walls and the half collapsed stage, you thought your best friend had gone crazy.

But Changbin had a vision. He wanted to create a place where there would always be live music, where people could come to dance to a band they liked just as much as grab a beer and listen to whoever was playing. You could see it in his eyes as he explained it to you.

It took months just to undo the damage made by the past owners - the plumbing needed to be replaced, there was mold in the walls of the bathroom, and things you preferred to forget in the dressing rooms. Luckily, Changbin was one stubborn guy, and he pushed through at the times you would have easily given up. You did your best to be there for him.

The months after that had been easier - choosing the color of the paint, the best material for the floor of the stage, the placement of the bar and tables. Changbin already had a name in mind, and you worked for weeks on a design for its logo. When Changbin gave his approval, he ordered a neon light in the shape of your logo, which now hung on the brick wall behind the stage.

Since its opening, the Trades has seen its fair share of rising artists, of questionable singers and chaotic musicians. A few concerts sold well, and the place became a success. Now there are so many proposals Changbin actually has to choose who will play on the nights the Trades is open.

Tonight, the place is sold out for a band that you’ve actually heard on the radio. Hyunjin, who works backstage, has a friend who has a friend - Side Effect’s guitarist. They were looking for a venue and the Trades ended up being mentioned in a conversation. When Hyunjin told Changbin, you were sure he was going to go into cardiac arrest. It cost him a small fortune to pay the band and promote the concert, but seeing tonight’s crowd, it was definitely worth the investment.

“He said three, Hyun - not, not two, three - I SAID THREE - HYUN?!”

You turn to Changbin, eyebrow raised, and he sighs deeply, holding the bridge of his nose. His outburst has also gotten the attention of Jeongin, who has turned his chair towards him and pulled down his headphones.

“We really need to get a better network for his place,” Changbin mutters. He nods at Jeongin. “Everything ready?”

Jeongin nods. He doesn’t talk a lot but has an impressive work ethic. He’s also the best - the best - poker player you’ve met.

“Y/N,” Changbin pleads, “can you please find Hyun and tell him three changes, not two. I need to stay here.”

You nod and head outside the booth. Although you’re always here, you don’t officially work for the Trades - but you don’t mind helping. The place is your baby a little bit, too. You’ve been here since the start, helped with the renovations, and you’ve barely missed a concert.

Holding on to your beer, you slip through the crowd towards the door leading backstage, Wooyoung letting you in with a sharp nod. You know the place so well you have no difficulty finding your way in the dark. You find Hyunjin standing behind the black curtains around the stage, hiding him from sight. He’s dressed all in black as usual, and blends with the shadows so well sometimes the only thing giving him away is the piercing on his eyebrow.

“Did he say two or three?” he asks you.

“Three,” you confirm.

“Three,” Hyunjin repeats under his breath, turning to finish preparing his things. “Why not two like everyone else? Why does it have to be three?”

You smile to yourself at his muttering, and hand him your beer.

“Take a sip, yeah?”

“Oh, yeah, thanks.”

He drinks as you peak around the curtain to see the stage. You love seeing it from this angle when it’s all ready to go, its floor covered in cords and various equipment. Side Effects has four members, each with their own microphone, and the drum kit is huge.

You turn back towards Hyunjin who has a finger against his earpiece and hands you back the beer. You understand the signal - the show is about to start. The Trades goes dark and you hear the crowd scream in excitment. You turn on your heels to leave, as you don’t want to be in the way, but as you’re about to head back, you’re blocked by a few people passing in front of you.

You can barely see them in the darkness, only a few lights giving a hint of their faces, but you can easily guess from their outfits and general energy that they’re the band.

The first has short, ruffled dark hair and wears a tank top that barely covers his wide shoulders. He does not see you, clearly in his own mindspace. The second is slightly shorter, with shoulder-length black hair that is half tied behind his head. His eyes are wide and shine in the darkness. He notices you staring and nods at you quickly, munching nervously on his lower lip.

The third barely glances at you. He wears a leather jacket and his hair covers his eyes. The last is smiling, visibly excited, and gives you a wink as he walks by - but he does it so quickly you can’t get a good look at him.

Each of them gives a different energy, none of which feels similar to what you would expect in a popular rock band, and just for that, you are intrigued. The crowd is going wild, a few people screaming at the top of their lungs, pushing towards the stage. The overall atmosphere is electric, tense like the few seconds before a raging thunderstorm.

You decide to stay for a song, making yourself small backstage. The first notes of an electric guitar rips through the Trades, soon followed by a rhythmic beat on the drums. When the voices join the melody, you find yourself moving, tapping your feet on the floor. The song is catchy, reminding you of the music you listened to when you were a teenager - in a good way - and their voices blend in perfect harmony.

Tank top guy, who you understand is the main singer and guitarist, stands at the center of the stage, belting a high note in the microphone. To his right, the other guitarist smiles widely at the crowd, no longer looking nervous - and to the left, perfectly sporting the bad boy look with his leather jacket, the bassist does not even smirk.

But really, it’s him you can’t look away from. Sitting at the drums, on the edge of his stool, slamming his sticks like a man possessed. He’s fast and aggressive, his face quickly dripping in sweat, his tongue slightly sticking out from between his teeth. In your entire life, you’ve never seen anyone play the drums like that. He’s probably barely visible behind the other members and the array of drums and cymbals in front of him, and yet he shines so bright you can’t take your eyes off him.

You stand there as if struck by lightning for the rest of the song, and then for about half of the second.

Who is that guy?

You see the appeal of Side Effects. Four handsome guys with an insane amount of charisma bombarding really good music like they were born for it - of course they would be popular. Around you, the audience is dancing and singing, clearly having fun. You feel proud for the Trades, and a little embarrassed that you didn’t give this band much attention before. They are good.

You clap when the second song ends, listening attentively as they introduce themselves. The singer and leader is Chris. The other guitarist is Felix. At the bass is Minho, and behind the drums sits Jisung.

You can’t help it - you stare at him. Jisung. He’s fidgeting like a child as Chris interacts with the crowd, happiness overflowing his eyes. He plays with his drumsticks like they’re the extensions of his fingers, which you don’t doubt is true. As Felix says something about an upcoming EP, Jisung leans down to drink some water, and as he looks up, your eyes meet.

He doesn’t react, and for a second you think he can’t actually see you in the dark - but then, he smiles.

A heart-wrenching, life-altering smile.

You can almost feel your legs wobble, but really, you are too shocked to move. You just stare back like an idiot until he looks away.

How can a guy be so goddamn magnetic?

The next song starts and you try to catch your breath. It’s hard to do so as he plays right next to you, the muscles of his arms tensed, his entire body jolting as he pounces on the drums. He’s still smiling, but he’s focused. You breathe out slowly.

When you think you can stare at him in peace, he turns his head for a second and winks at you.

It’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen.

You take a step backwards, clearing your throat, and look around nervously. That’s when you see Hyunjin, who is smirking at you. You give him a glare and he playfully winks at you.

You make sure to give his arm a good slap before you head back towards the booth to go back with Changbin, your legs a little shaky.

You’ll watch the concert from a distance.

People often talk about the calm before the storm, but you prefer the one that comes afterwards. The latent electricity, the echoes of screams. You stand in the middle of the Trades, your ears ringing in the eerie silence. The entire audience has left, the stage is empty.

You stand among the staff, your shot glass lifted as Changbin ends his speech. He has a proud grin illuminating his face, his eyes shining like stars - you cheer with the others to the night’s success, clink your glass against Hyunjin’s and drink. People disperse to finish cleaning up or to get home, but you linger next to Changbin. You throw your arm around his waist as he finishes talking with Wooyoung, and once the bouncer tells you both goodnight, you pull Changbin into a hug.

“Congratulations, Mr. Seo,” you tell him. “I’m proud of you.”

He hugs you back, chuckling, his breath making your hair dance. In the way his body leans against yours, you can feel how both happy and exhausted he is.

“Couldn’t have done it without you,” he breathes.

You shake your head, leaning back, gently tapping his cheek with your palm.

“Of course you couldn’t.”

He pulls his tongue at you as someone calls his name. You both turn towards the voice. A young guy with dark hair is smiling at Changbin, walking towards you. Wearing a pair of jeans, a white button-up and a relaxed tie, he looks both casual and fancy. Behind him are four people you immediately recognize.

Side Effects.

You try not to stare, stepping away from Changbin.

The main singer, Chris, looks completely spaced out although he’s smiling politely. Felix looks like he’s still on his adrenaline high, bouncing slightly, looking around in curiosity. The bassist, Minho, remains impassive, but he perhaps looks a little bored. The drummer, Jisung - will you ever be able to forget that name? - is on his phone and does not see either of you.

“Mr. Kim,” Changbin says, extending his hand. “I thought you would’ve left by now.”

“Not without saying thanks,” he replies, shaking Changbin’s hand. You conclude he’s the band’s manager. “Call me Seungmin, yeah?”

He looks at the main singer and nudges him with his elbow.

“Right,” Chris smiles. “Thanks for having us. We had a good time.”

“Yeah, it’s a really cool place you got,” Felix, agrees.

They all give smiles and thanks, shaking Changbin’s hand. Your best friend’s grin cannot leave his face. You stand a little behind him, observing the exchange. It’s hard not to gawk. They’re still wearing their stage outfits, and although they look different without the spotlights, you can still feel their energy.

“We’re having a little after-party,” Seungmin explains. “Wanted to extend an invitation.” He glances at you. “You and your staff, of course. Anyone who wants to join.”

“Ooh,” Changbin chuckles. “Hell, why not.”

Seungmin nods. “I’ll text the address then. See you in a bit.”

As they walk away, you exchange a long look with Changbin. You wait until they’re out of sight to gasp loudly, holding on to each other like you’re going to fall on your knees.

“Did they just -” Changbin exclaims. “Did we just get invited to an afterparty?”

“I think we did,” you whisper frenetically. “I think we fucking did.”

“Holy shit!”

This is the first time anything like that has ever happened - usually, if there are after parties, they take place inside the Trades, and it’s with bands or musicians that aren’t very well known. Those who are, even just a little, often leave as soon as their performance is over.

“You know what that means, right,” Changbin giggles. “Not only did they stick around, but they took the time to thank us, and then invite us? What the fuck!”

You laugh hysterically, throwing your arms around Changbin’s neck. You take the time to scream and dance for a minute or two, but then there’s stuff to do. You help your friend settle a few things, leaving the rest in Yuna’s safe hands, who’s not in the mood to party and has worked at the Trades since its opening.

There’s five of you going to the party, so you split two taxis and get to the address Seungmin texted Changbin. It’s already really late when you get there, but you don’t care. This sort of thing never happens and you are going to enjoy it. Besides, if it allows you to steal a few more looks at that hot drummer, you won’t complain.

The place, which you guess is the house the band rented for their time in town, is huge and already filled with people. Nobody asks who you are, and you just join the party like you were there from the start. Changbin is able to find Seungmin, who guides you to the kitchen where there’s a scandalous amount of beer available. You grab a bottle and cheer with your friend.

It’s going to be a good night.

You’re going to lose the game, that much you know - but you’re not going down without a fight. If only your eyes weren’t burning from the exhaustion and the booze, you might’ve stood a chance. But then again, your opponent is good.

Minho has brushed his hair away from his face. His eyes drill into yours, and while they are beautiful, they are, right now, your worst enemies.

You squint as the people around you hold their breath - and after a few more seconds, you can’t take it.

You blink.

The small audience lets out an audible sigh. Minho gives you a smirk.

“Well played.”

You wave your hand, rubbing your teary eyes. You’re not proud, but you can admit defeat, so you nod at him and he pats your shoulder. You'll get him another time. Or not.

It’s incredibly late and horribly early. You’ve been drinking - not too much, but a fair amount. The party is slowly calming down. There’s still music playing, but it’s faint. People are no longer dancing and drinking but rather lounging and chatting. A few are laying on the floor or on the couches, asleep. Someone is snoring nearby. A lot of people have left. Most, in fact. But not you.

You’re still here and you’ve just had a staring contest with Lee Minho - which you’ve lost. You shake your head, letting it fall against Changbin's shoulder. He is half asleep, barely able to keep his eyes open, his head secured against a fluffy cushion. In a minute or two you’ll lose him, but that’s fine - you plan on just curling up next to him and sleeping too.

Except, as you’re about to do exactly that, you spot Han Jisung.

You haven’t seen him much during the night. Not long after you arrived, you saw him flirt with a girl and he disappeared afterwards - you can guess the rest. Not very surprising coming from a member of a rock band. Of course he would have groupies. He was handsome, talented, charismatic. A flirt, too, apparently. Not like you cared, and certainly not like you expected him to remember the wink he gave you - if it had even been intentional. At this point, you’re convinced he didn’t even see you, that you were just a faceless shadow observing him from backstage.

So much for the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen.

But he’s there now, walking towards the kitchen, wearing distressed jeans and a white t-shirt. His hair is all over the place, his steps a little uneven. You stare at him as he crosses the room - he’ll never see you, anyway.

Changbin's chest is rising and falling regularly now, and you glance at him to confirm he’s fallen asleep. You smile tenderly, pat his cheek, and decide to head to the bathroom before you also get some rest. You head to the hallway, stepping over a few bodies, smiling at Jeongin who’s still playing DJ although the music is at such a low volume you can barely hear it. You ruffle his hair as you pass him.

You step out of the bathroom, thinking to yourself you should get a glass of water, and look up. A few steps away, leaning against the wall, is Han Jisung.

He looks up at you and smiles, his hands in his pockets, his eyeliner a little smudged.

“There you are.”

You’re too surprised to say anything at first, and he chuckles.

“What, you think I forgot about you?”

You blink, trying to gather your thoughts. “Excuse me?”

He smiles, tilting his head a little. “It’s you. You were backstage earlier.”

“How do you know that? It was dark.”

“Not that dark.”

You chuckle, maybe a little nervously. You’re a bit too drunk and tired for this conversation. He just looks at you in response, and you know it deep inside your heart. This guy is dangerous. Dangerously attractive, no doubt. But also just dangerous - the kind to consume your heart in a single bite and not leave a crumb. Exactly what you should avoid.

You cross your arms, looking back at him. “If you knew I was here, why didn’t you come earlier?”

He shrugs. “I thought you’d look for me.”

“There were like a hundred people here,” you sigh. “And when I saw you, you looked a little busy.”

He laughs, shaking his head. His smile - fuck, that smile. Wide and bright and heart-shaped. Fuck.

“Oh, that,” he says. “Yeah. She was all over me, what kind of gentleman would I be to refuse?”

You snort. “For some reason I can’t buy into the whole gentleman thing.”

“I’m hurt.”

“Do I need to remind you you’re a rockstar?”

“Hm. I would have just said musician or “some guy in a band”, but I’ll take rockstar.”

You stare at each other, and you can’t explain it, but you both burst out laughing. Surely, it’s the booze. It has nothing to do with the electricity between you, like you’ve known each other for years, like this is far from being your first ever conversation. What the hell is this?

Is this what people mean when they talk about instant connection? All you’ve known is friendship and trust built by experience and bonding. Not that it’s a bad thing - on the opposite - but this is new for you.

You cover your face with your hands, shaking your head, and Jisung approaches you slowly, his eyes filled with sparks.

“I love your laugh.”

“Oh, come on,” you sigh, rolling your eyes.

You turn to lean against the wall, placing your hands behind your back, and he follows your move, barricading you between the wall and him. He smirks.

“You don’t believe me?”

“It’s not that, rockstar,” you smile at him. “I just know guys like you. Flirts. Fuck boys.”

“Aoutch.”

“Like you don’t know it.”

He doesn’t refute it, his eyes lingering on your face, your nose, your lips, your body. Most of all, your lips. You’re tired and drunk and he smells good - it would be easy to reach out, but you won’t let yourself do it. You want to see what he will do.

And just like that, like he’s reading your mind, he leans in. Your breath hitches but you put a finger against his chest.

“Hm. Haven’t you had enough for one night?” you tell him mischievously.

He groans, and he’s so close to you his breath caresses your lips.

“It’s you I wanted from the start.”

It’s a terribly attractive thing to say, and you try really hard to ignore the fact that you’re turned on. You attempt to focus on little things to take your mind off his smell and his warmth - the fact that your mouth is dry, that a strand of your hair is tickling your ear, that your feet feel heavy in your boots after an entire day in them.

“You’re leaving tomorrow,” you whisper.

“All the more reason,” he grins.

He reaches to put said strand of hair behind your ear, removing your itch, and it makes you almost dizzy - so much that you barely see him as he leans towards you again. Your finger, still pointed at his chest, pathetically bends, and your hand ends up sprawled against his shirt. His breath smells like apple flavored liquor. He kisses you.

You know you’re just some random girl for him, one he’ll probably never know the name of, one of many he’ll have made out with on his tour. You know you’re just that, and you should have enough self-respect to push him away and not become yet another groupie on his fuck shelf, but he kisses so well you forget all of that.

Or, well.

You know it, but you choose to forget it.

Han Jisung’s lips taste like chaos. He kisses the exact opposite way he plays the drums, languidly, longingly, almost carefully - he is patient and delicate, yet it is clear he knows what he wants. You wrap your arms around him, and he pushes you against the wall, kissing you deeper.

His hands are in your hair and he slides his tongue against yours, and you moan at the feeling of it, and in this instant you would let him do whatever he likes to you.

You said it.

Dangerous.

You are vaguely aware someone approaches you and stops next to you, but Jisung is still kissing you like it’ll never happen again - and it never will - so you don’t really pay attention to it. It is only when Jisung lips leave yours that you touch back with reality, realizing the voice has been calling his name repeatedly.

“What is it, man?” Jisung asks, his voice low and annoyed.

You’re still hidden in his arms, feeling drunker than you’ve ever been. You can barely open your eyes.

“Sorry,” the voice says. It’s Chris. “But we need to go, like, now. Felix isn’t feeling good.”

You glance at Jisung to see his face has changed. He looks tense, almost sad. It’s a surprising sight and it stirs something inside of you.

Jisung gives Chris a nod. “I’ll be there in a second.”

Chris leaves, and Jisung turns back to you.

“Sorry, baby. Gotta go.”

He gently lifts your chin with his fingers and gives you a last gentle kiss. Your legs can barely keep you up.

Just like that, he walks away and disappears. You know it’s the last you’ll see of him tonight - and probably ever. You’re not sure how you feel about that, but there’s nothing you can do.

You trace your lips with your own tongue.

Apples.

You drag your feet back to Changbin, who is still asleep, and you sit beside him. Feeling disoriented, like your whole life has been taken apart and built back sideways, you wrap yourself around him, close your eyes, and let sleep steal you away.

The barista slides the two full cardboard trays of coffee on the counter and you thank him with a smile. It’s heavy and impractical, but luckily you only have to go next door.

As much as you love the Trades during the night, when it’s packed and loud and stifling, you adore it during the day. If the weather is nice, like today, the doors remain open to let the fresh air in, and there’s a spot at the booths, where you usually sit, that catches the light just right. You head there first, leaving your bags and your own coffee, and then you make a round around the place to give the other cups to the people you meet.

Jeongin is making repairs on his sound console and he accepts the coffee with a nod. Andy, the janitor, takes the next one, and soon you’re left with just one. You head upstairs to Changbin's office, and seeing that the door is closed, you knock. It’s the code everyone knows - an open door means you can go in. A closed one means knocking.

You wait for a few seconds, and when the door opens, Changbin only lets his head through - you see there’s someone in there with him. Soft brown hair and a black coat. Could be anyone. You just hand him his coffee, and he thanks you with a smile. You’re curious to know who he’s meeting, but you’ll just ask later.

That’s the beauty of your friendship with Changbin. There’s absolutely nothing complicated about it. Since day one, you have been completely open with each other about everything, so ambiguity has never been an issue. Nothing ever lingers - you just talk about it. Good things, bad things, uncertain things.

It’s an affectionate friendship, but it’s also a brutal one. You both have strong personalities, and everyone expects you to clash, and you do. But you do it in a way that is so open and true it never results in actual conflict.

Changbin keeps you steady, Changbin knows you, and Changbin learns with you. To be human, to do better - but also to accept you’ll always have your flaws.

Whistling a Side Effects song - it’s been stuck in your head - you head back to your usual booth and sit down. You take off your jacket, open your laptop and plug in your headphones.

It’s difficult for you to find places where you manage to be productive when working. Your own apartment is often too warm; cafés are a nightmare; but the Trades, however, is perfect. There’s just an energy that gets your creative juices going, and you’ve been enjoying it as much as you can.

You take a long sip of coffee and get to work.

About twenty minutes later, you see Changbin crossing the room towards the main entrance with someone - the person he was in a meeting with, obviously. You recognize Seungmin, Side Effects’ manager. They seem to be on friendly terms, so you’re wondering why they met. You can’t resist the temptation to take off your headphones to try and listen, but they’re too far away.

It’s been two days since the party and you can’t think about much else, although you keep telling yourself it’s pathetic. Still, you’re intrigued. You thought the band would’ve left town by now. Clearly, they haven’t.

Changbin appears a minute later, sitting down on the booth in front of you with a smirk you can only describe as ecstatic. You raise an eyebrow.

“Tell me you still have the file for your poster,” he tells you.

“Always,” you frown. “Why?”

He scrunches his nose and leans towards you.

“Because you’ll have to add something to it. Encore.”

“Wha - WHAT? WHEN?!”

“In two days.”

“TWO DAYS?”

Changbin explains that the band’s next scheduled performances have been canceled due to a flood in the venue. Since their tour would only resume a few days later, they had some free time ahead and decided to stay in town.

They offered to perform another time at the Trades because they loved the place, and Changbin certainly wasn’t going to refuse. A last-minute show on a Wednesday would be a challenge to organize, but it could be done. It would be done.

Giving Changbin a tight hug with a squeal of excitement, you immediately get to work on the design of the poster announcing the new date. The rush of adrenaline is inducing a rush of inspiration, and you have it wrapped up in a few hours.

Once you’ve sent the file to the printer, you lean back against the booth and realize you’re hungry. You remember you still have leftovers in your fridge, so you decide to head home. You throw your bag around your shoulder but leave your headphones around your neck for when you’re outside. It’s quiet in the Trades, but you glance around the room to see if anyone is there so you can say goodbye.

There’s only one person there, sitting on the edge of the stage, swinging his legs and looking around. For a second you think your eyes must be deceiving you, but it’s him. Han Jisung.

He’s wearing grey jeans covered in patches of different patterns. His oversized red and black striped sweater is torn here and there, his dark hair in disarray. To complete his look, he wears a thin leather choker around his neck and a variety of bracelets on his wrists, and his nails are painted pitch black.

Whatever he might say, he does look like a rockstar.

You don’t know if you know him well enough to just approach him like that, but you figure that his tongue being in your mouth less than forty hours ago must count for something, so you take a few tentative steps towards the stage.

“What are you doing here?” you ask.

He turns his head in mild curiosity, and once he sees you, grins widely.

“I was hoping to find you here,” he says.

You roll your eyes. “Sure you were.”

“Sorry. It was too easy,” Jisung chuckles.

“Seriously, why are you here?”

He shrugs, the heels of his leather boots hitting the stage as he keeps swaying his legs.

“I was really bored, so I took a walk. Ended up here, and the doors were wide open,” he explains.

He looks up to the ceiling, a strand of hair brushing his forehead and falling in front of his right eye.

“I love to see venues when they’re empty. They’re this special feeling about them.”

“I know what you mean,” you agree with a smile. “It’s calm, but there’s still… this lingering tension.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Jisung nods, looking back at you, eyeing you up and down.

You feel a little casual compared to him in your baggy jeans and crewneck, your hair tied behind your hair with a claw clip, not wearing any makeup. You must look like a different person from the other night, but Jisung does not make you feel self-conscious. He looks at you exactly the same, with an intrigued gleam and a charming smile.

“Where are you heading?” he asks.

“Home,” you reply. “To eat.”

“Ooh,” he chants, jumping down from the stage. “I’m in.”

You stare at him in disbelief.

“What?”

“I kinda feel like a cheeseburger, though,” he states, walking towards you with purpose. He stops in front of you. “I’m paying.”

You open your mouth to argue with him, but then you realize you don’t want to. Free food and pretty entertaining company? Why not. You nod.

“Lead the way,” he says with a grin.

In a couple of steps you’re standing outside under a timid sun. You point to the left, and Jisung follows you.

“So what do you do here, exactly?” he asks, nodding towards the Trades.

“Nothing,” you say. “I don’t work there, not really.”

He frowns. “So why are you -”

“Changbin is my oldest friend. I helped him put the place together, and it’s kind of just… where I hang out. I designed the logo, though.”

“You did that?” Jisung wonders, pointing to the sign.

“Yeah.”

“Damn,” he whistles. “Looks really cool.”

You thank him with a smile. Although you’re always hard on yourself when it comes to work, you are proud of what you did for the Trades. Not that you would have accepted anything less than perfection, anyway.

“I did the posters for your show, too,” you add.

Jisung gives you a smile that you would call impressed, and you feel a tang of pride in your heart.

“So you’re a graphic designer?”

“Yup.”

“Cool. Tell me about it.”

You have no idea why he’s interested, but you indulge him, telling him more about your work as you head towards the closest diner. It’s not a fancy place, far from it, but they do have the best cheeseburgers in the neighborhood, in your opinion. Jisung doesn’t look like the fancy type, anyway. As you watch and listen to him, you feel like he’s more the type of person that can adapt to every environment they’re in.

Being constantly on the road as he is, you guess it must be a good quality to possess. Has he always been like that, though? Or is it something he picked up along the way to make it easier?

Something about him just tickles your curiosity.

You sit down on a booth of worn black leather and the waitress brings you the menu. Jisung doesn’t look at it - just at you.

“Were you born here?”

“Yes.”

“You never left?”

“Nope.”

“Not even for traveling?”

“Just once. Went to London.”

“For what?”

“Fun.”

“Hm.”

“Are we done with the interrogation?”

To your surprise, Jisung lets out a loud laugh, sliding his hand through his hair.

“Sorry. I meet so many people, and I rarely have the chance to get to know them. This is new.”

“So I’m the first human being apart from your band and management you are able to have a conversation with in what, weeks?”

“Months.”

“No pressure, then.”

His smile stays on his face, large and luminous. You kind of like it. The waitress comes back to take your order, and you ask for two cheeseburgers, two sodas, and a large plate of fries to share.

Jisung keeps asking you questions. You tell him about how you met Changbin - kindergarten - what was the best concert of your life - not his - and what your favorite font is - depends on the day.

You get your food not long after, and as you pick up your burger, you decide to turn the table on him a little. Only fair, right?

“So you’ve been bored and wandering around. What about the rest of the band?” you ask as he takes a bit of his burger. “What have they been doing?”

“Sleeping,” Jisung answers with his mouth full. He swallows. “Fuck, this is a good burger.”

“Must be grateful for the rest,” you say.

Jisung shakes his head. “Not all of them. Minho can’t stay still to save his life. He’s climbing up the walls already.”

You laugh in disbelief. “Really? He looks so… calm.”

“He’s so weird,” Jisung laughs.

You hear the tenderness in his voice, and you catch a glimpse of the bond that must be linking them. You felt it, even when they were on stage. They were more than a band - they were brothers.

“And the other two?” you ask, simply out of curiosity.

“Chris is fine. He doesn’t say it but he’s glad to be able to stay in. Work on music. Watch movies.”

Jisung’s eyes darken.

“Felix… sleeps. A lot.”

You can hear something there, but you don’t want to ask. It’s none of your business, after all. Still, Jisung explains.

“He’s been through shit recently. So it’s good he can sleep.”

You smile softly. “You’re really close, right? The four of you.”

“Yeah,” Jisung nods. “With Seungmin, too.”

The softness on his face is new, but it does not last too long. Quickly, his smirk comes back, his eyes full of mischief.

“You like video games?”

You expect Jisung to bring you back to the house where the party took place, but instead he walks you to an apartment building. He explains that the house would’ve been too expensive for a longer stay - it’s not like they were millionaires - so they found this place on Airbnb for cheap. It’s smaller, but more than big enough for the four of them. The rest of the crew shared another place a few blocks over.

“The four of us lived in a shoebox for the longest time while we were in our garage phase,” Jisung says as he closes the door behind you. “So this is luxurious.”

He doesn’t bother to give you a tour, but you don’t care. Leaving your bag in the hallway, you follow him to the kitchen.

“That was a long-ass walk you took.”

Minho is glaring at Jisung, wearing two oven mitts and a neon pink bucket hat. The kitchen smells delicious, and you glance at the oven to try and see what is cooking in there.

“Found a stray cat,” Jisung says, waving at you.

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Cute of you to act like it wasn’t you that was lost.”

“I wasn’t lost. Just bored.”

Minho stares at you - or, well, you think he is. His eyes are completely hidden under his hat and his hair. He raises an oven mitt towards you, and you have to guess he’s pointing.

“Staring contest girl.”

“Not the worst nickname I’ve heard,” you pout.

“What was?” Jisung asks.

“You’ll never know.”

Minho chuckles.

“Made some meat pies if you’re hungry.”

“Thanks, bro.”

You frown as he grabs a plate to get a slice.

“But you just ate -”

You stop and shrug. One thing you’ll never judge or pretend to understand is how a person’s stomach works.

Minho and Jisung start whispering between themselves, and it seems like you hear Felix’s name, so you give them some space. In the meanwhile, you wander around the apartment, check out the hallway leading to the bedrooms, and then enter the living room. It’s a cozy space with a large sectional and a huge TV. You glance around for a good thirty seconds before you notice there’s someone sitting in a window nook. He hasn’t seen you, his eyes focused on his computer. Piled up on his head is a beanie, a pair of headphones and a hoodie. Chris. Jisung’s description was accurate.

“Don’t mind him,” Jisung tells you as he reappears next to you. “When he’s like that he’s not conscious of the outside world. You could be walking around naked he wouldn’t notice.”

“Sounds like a theory you’ve tested before.”

“Oh, yeah.”

You both plop down on the couch, laughing, and Jisung turns on the console. He hands you a controller and you start to play Crash Bandicoot, not really talking. You enjoy taking your mind off things, not really thinking about the situation you are in. Why are you here, after all? There’s no clear reason apart from the fact that you like Jisung. But you aren’t the type to question things too much - most of the time you prefer to just follow the path life takes you on.

For now it’s taken you here.

You spend the next few hours playing and eating snacks. At some point, Felix emerges from his room and sits on an armchair, dizzily staring at the screen. He looks exhausted, snuggled in a hoodie that is way too big for him, black hair curling around his ears.

When your eyes get tired Minho takes your place, playing a few games with Jisung as you text with Changbin. He reminds you you’re supposed to go to a birthday party that night, and you let out an irritated sigh.

“Fuck me,” you hiss through your teeth, resisting the urge to throw your phone across the room.

“Sure,” Jisung grins at you.

When you glare back, he chuckles.

“What’s up?”

“I have to go to this thing tonight. Birthday party.”

“Hm. Sounds fun.”

“Really not. The girl is a nightmare but she can’t, for the life of her, understand we’re not friends anymore, and that Bin will never be interested in her pathetic ass. All she does is show off how much money she has.”

“Wow,” Minho laughs. “Now I kinda want to meet her.”

“Good idea,” Jisung nods. “We’re not doing anything tonight, anyway, and I don’t know for you guys, but I don’t want to spend my entire night shut up in here. Let’s go.”

You shake your head.

“No way.”

“Think about it, Y/N,” Minho says, placing his elbows on his thighs. “Bringing us as guests would shut her right up.

“And I need to get really drunk,” Felix states, all of a sudden.

It’s the first words he’s spoken since he got out of his room, and while you look at him in surprise, the other two seem used to it.

“Then let’s do it,” Jisung claims, clapping his hands.

“I have to go home and change, though. If I show up like that she’ll start a rumor I’m homeless or something,” you sigh.

Jisung waves his hand. “That’s fine. I’ll come with you and help you choose a killer outfit. You guys meet us there, yeah?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get Chris when he emerges from the deep,” Minho nods.

Jisung takes your hand and lifts you off the couch. He guides you back to the hallway and slides on his boots.

“You don’t have to come with me,” you say. “We can meet there.”

“I wanna see your place,” Jisung simply responds.

Maybe you should be freaked out or annoyed at the game he’s playing. You know he’s just trying to get to know you, that you’re an adventure for him, but it also feels like he wants to assimilate as much as he possibly can before time runs out. It’s cute, but it’s also unnerving. What will he do with all this knowledge of you, once he leaves? Will he forget? Will you become a fond memory, or one that will fade away over time?

You shouldn’t indulge him, because you’ll probably end up getting hurt. But at the same time, it’s stimulating for you, too. Letting someone in. Letting him see who you are, every part of you, knowing it’s temporary. Then he can walk away, carrying pieces of you. There’s a beauty to that you can’t yet grasp.

When you arrive at your place, you let him walk around to look at what he wants, heading for your room. It’s not a big apartment, nor is it in perfect shape, but you made it yours. You and Changbin took the lease most particularly for the bathroom, which is more spacious than any you’ve seen in the city. In exchange, both of your bedrooms are kind of tiny, but it’s not like you have people over very often. If you do, it’s agreed you’ll find another place to stay for the night.

You remove your clothes of the day, changing your underwear and slipping on a short leather skirt. You’re zipping it up when the door of your room opens on Jisung, who strolls in like he lives there.

“What the fuck?” you let out, covering your chest - you’re only wearing a bra.

“You told me to make myself at home,” Jisung smirks, sitting down on your bed, sliding his hand on your comforter.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Come on,” he says. “You’re almost dressed already. Love the skirt. Is this the shirt you’re planning on wearing?”

He lifts the piece of clothing, a black tank top that laces on the front, and hands it to you. You snag it from his hand, slipping it on swiftly. He eyes you up and down.

“What about accessories?”

He stands up, walking to your dresser, and opens your jewelry box. You stare at him, absolutely mind blown at his behavior.

“Oh. Love that. That’s hot,” he says, handing you a lace choker you haven’t worn in ages.

“Having fun playing dress-up, are we?” you laugh.

He winks at you, and proceeds to choose the rest of your outfit. Cherry earrings, silver rings, and loose hair. Once he’s done, he twirls you around, biting his lip.

“Perfect,” he says, slipping a hand on your waist to pull you close. “Thoroughly fuckable, if I might say so.”

“Thanks?” you answer with a giggle.

“Y/N,” he breathes, taking a step towards you. “C’m’here.”

Before you can answer anything, he plunges his nose in the crook of your neck, inhaling your smell, and places a kiss there that sends shivers all over your body. You close your eyes.

“Jisung…”

“It’s not the outfit,” he says, shaking his head. “I’ve thought about fucking you all day.”

You do your best not to let out a moan right there, instead biting your lip hard as he keeps kissing your neck.

“Jisung,” you breathe. “I just got dressed.”

“I don’t want you to undress.”

You frown as he pushes you towards the bed. You lay down, eyes on him. Outside the blue is fading to black, enveloping the room in a heavy purple, and there’s something earnest and intimate about it. You’ve been on edge ever since that kiss he gave you - and you’ve so desperately wanted to know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t been interrupted.

You have somewhere to be, but you don’t care. Jisung is at your apartment and visibly also wants to pick up things where you left them off. You are not going to waste the opportunity.

Jisung’s hands spread your legs, his lips leaving a trail of wet kisses on your thighs.

“Just want to get a taste,” he mutters.

Your breath hitches as he pushes up your skirt, lips brushing your skin. He makes his way between your legs, finally setting his mouth on your underwear. At this point you are writhing around him, desperate for a direct touch.

“Getting wet for me so fast,” he breathes. “How can I resist you?”

“No one talked of resisting,” you answer in a sigh.

He chuckles. “Fair point. Can I?”

You nod, and he draws your underwear aside, leaving you exposed to his eyes. You spread some more for him, pulling up your skirt, and he does not waste another second. His lips embrace your wetness, his tongue swirling around your clit. You let out a shaky sigh, your fingers reaching for his hair. Your thoughts wander, far away from your reach, as you just enjoy Jisung’s caresses.

He hums against you as you roll your hips against his mouth. It’s working wonders for you, your pleasure building quickly.

“That’s good, baby,” he breathes. “Make yourself come in my mouth.”

You’re hot, your body tense, Jisung making out with your cunt. His tongue makes a quick work of it, and you come not long after. You shiver delightfully, and it takes you a while to come down. As you do, Jisung gently replaces your underwear where it was, contemplating the drenched fabric with a satisfied smile.

“Now you can walk around all evening in your soaked underwear, courtesy of me, and I’ll have your taste on my tongue,” he says in a low voice, his smirk all the right kinds of dirty.

You’re still riding the high of your orgasm, so you don’t really find the right words. You just smile at him.

“You’re fucking insane.”

“Just trying to enjoy the time I have.”

The taxi drops you off in front of your friend’s house. Jisung hands him a few bills and comes to stand next to you, admiring the place.

It’s huge, outrageously so, the typical rich person’s, and you absolutely hate it. From the judgemental look on Jisung’s face, so does he.

You put a hand on his shoulder. “You asked for it.”

Felix, Chris and Minho are already inside, according to Jisung’s phone, and it takes you a while to find them - the house is packed and loud.

“Have you seen Changbin?” you ask them, but they shake their heads.

You check your phone - no news from your friend. He’s probably running late or has a last minute hold up. You decide to stick around anyway. You’re dressed up, you’re here, and you have company.

You get drinks and sit between Jisung and Chris. You talk a lot to the latter, who, now that he doesn’t have his head in his computer, proves to be really fun company. You discuss productivity and creative slumps, interrupted here and there by the occasional fan asking for an autograph or a picture. Jisung is busy playing cards with Minho, his hand on your thigh. Felix is flirting with a few people, drinking fast, his smile widening with every second.

When your friend comes into your field of vision, and eyes you with annoyed envy, you are so happy you could sing. You wish her a happy birthday, the band too, and for once she has absolutely nothing to say.

“Changbin didn’t come?” she asks as a last resort.

“Sorry, he couldn’t make it,” you reply with a fake pout, trying to hold back your laughter.

When she leaves, dumbfounded and annoyed, you laugh hysterically with Jisung for so long you have tears streaming down your cheeks and your sides hurt.

As the night advances, Jisung’s hand rides higher and higher on your thigh. His eyes get glassy with the alcohol, as do yours - in fact, everyone gets pretty wasted. Chris and Minho share a joint, keeping an eye on Felix. Despite the chaotic ambiance around you, you five stay pretty calm, chilling on the couch you claimed, talking or playing silly games.

A few other people join you for a classic game of never have I ever - except you’re all too drunk already to play with drinks, so you agree on changing the rules. If you have, you kiss the person to your right.

“Never have I ever been naked in public,” Felix proposes.

His eyes are lit up like fireworks, and he stares at Chris, who shakes his head.

“Oh my gosh…”

“You HAVE to, Chris!” Felix cackles. “We all saw you!”

“What’s the story?” you ask, laughing.

“Nothing interesting. You don’t want to know,” Chris sighs.

“I do!” you retort.

“A simple story, really,” Minho explains, twirling a joint between his fingers. “He went to take a shower at the camping site we were staying at, and I stole his clothes.”

You all burst out laughing, and Felix claps his hands.

“C’mon, now. Kisses. On the mouth.”

Felix receives a kiss from the girl next to him, which surprises him - and Chris turns to you.

“It’s the game, right?" he laughs. "Sorry, Ji.”

“No harm, man.”

“You’re okay with it, right?” Chris asks you.

You nod, amused. Chis leans in, a smirk on his face, and slides his fingers in your hair. His lips are plump, kissing you gently, and you feel yourself melt a little. You almost don’t want to stop, your hand falling against his chest. The booze makes your tongue act on its own, dancing with his, and Chris indulges. It takes a minute before you lean back, falling back on the couch.

“Fuck, damn,” you laugh. Your cheeks are red. “You’re a good kisser.”

“So are you,” Chris smiles.

“That was hot,” Jisung lets out with a solemn nod.

You hide your face in his neck, giggling like a teenager, and the game continues. At the next question, Minho kisses the guy next to him, and you appreciate the sight a little too much. Your senses are getting tangled - between the booze, the weed, Jisung’s warm fingers around your thigh, Chris’ tongue and the sight of so many people making out, you’re officially horny.

It doesn’t help that you still feel your wet underwear against your cunt, reminding you of the joys of Jisung’s tongue.

You bite your lip, waiting for the right moment. Finally, a girl asks never have I ever stolen a car, and nobody moves - except you. You fall against Jisung, pulling him into a needy kiss. The people around you start yelling and laughing.

“What the fuck!”

“STOP MAKING OUT, WE NEED THE STORY,” Felix screams.

“I don’t think we’ll get the story tonight, bro,” Chris tells him with a chuckle.

He’s right, because you’re lost in your kiss, Jisung’s hands all over you. You don’t even care that there’s dozens of people around. You devour his lips, get drunker on his taste. You want him, you need him - and he kisses you deep and passionately. One of his hands grip your ass and you moan softly.

“I think we’ve lost them,” Minho says.

“Hey,” Chris says in your ear. “Get a fucking room.”

A giggle escapes your mouth and Jisung pulls away from you. His lips are already swollen, and the sight is so attractive you have no idea how your legs are able to hold your weight as he pulls you on your feet.

“Have a good time,” Felix sings as you walk away.

You wave at them, letting Jisung guide you through a house neither of you really know. You stumble through the crowd, stopping to kiss sometimes, and you can’t wait to be alone. It’s proving to be complicated, though, because every door you come across is either locked or already has people busy behind it. You scoff and snicker until you find a door that has a piece of paper taped on it.

PRIVATE DO NOT ENTER

You exchange a knowing look with Jisung. No words needed. He turns the handle and you see stairs leading down. You close the door behind you, lock it, stumbling down the stairs to the basement.

When you get there, you gasp.

It’s a beautiful room, with thick, fancy carpets and the biggest TV you’ve ever seen. There’s a bar in the corner, and on a wall, a collection of guitars. You stare in awe at everything, Jisung standing behind you, kissing your neck.

“Holy shit,” you whisper.

For a second you forget all about Jisung, running towards the guitar displayed on the far right. It’s the same, you realize. The exact same model.

“That’s a rare one,” Jisung says, sliding next to you. “Worth a fortune.”

“My mom had one,” you tell him with a smile. “She found it at a flea market. Guy had no idea what he had. She paid 11 dollars for it.”

Jisung smiles even more widely. “It was meant to be.”

“Yeah.”

You smile fondly at the memory. It soothes you, envelops you. You forget where you are, for a second, although your entire body is drunk on Jisung.

“You play?” he asks you, his eyes not leaving yours, his hand putting a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“A little,” you admit.

“Then let’s hear it.”

“No, Ji, you can’t touch -”

You might not know him that well, but one thing you are learning about Jisung is that he does not care. So it’s without hesitation that he grabs the guitar from the display and hands it to you. You laugh, carefully taking it.

You sit down on the floor, the guitar in your arms, and you gently brush the strings. Jisung sits in front of you, leaning against the back of a couch.

Before you know it, you’re playing a melody you know like the back of your hand. With your eyes closed, and just the sound of music to guide you, it all feels like a dream. The basement, the party, even Jisung, it all fades - you’re alone with the guitar for a few seconds.

When you open your eyes again, at the end of the song, Jisung is staring at you with wide eyes and a parted mouth.

“A little?” he repeats.

You laugh. “Ok. More than a little.”

“You didn’t tell me you’re a musical genius.”

“I’m not.”

He lifts an index. “I’ve heard a lot of people play the guitar. I’m not just saying this. I think I’m lowkey in love with you, now.”

You smile at him, at his dark hair and his round eyes, at the line of eyeliner under them, at the choker around his neck, at the red and black sweater you were gripping desperately minutes ago.

“Same to you,” you admit.

He grins and crawls over to give you a kiss. The guitar falls beside you, immediately forgotten. Jisung hums against your lips.

“I want to fuck you,” he tells you in a hoarse voice.

“Yes please,” you answer, and he laughs.

You remove his sweater and let your fingers wander around his chest, touching his skin. It feels warm. Still kissing you, he unlaces your top, cupping your breasts. He teases your sensitive nipples, drawing a soft cry from your lips. You arch your back, thrusting your hips against his. You can feel his hard cock under his jeans, and you can’t resist wrapping your hand around the bulge to stroke him. Jisung grunts in your mouth, and suddenly bites your lower lip.

You jump in your surprise, letting out a moan.

“Keep moaning for me, baby,” he whispers, gliding his teeth across your lips. “You sound so hot.”

“Fuck, Ji. I’ve been dreaming about that cock.”

You unbuckle his belt and take him out of his boxers. He’s hard, and you lift your hand to your mouth, slowly licking your palm. You keep your eyes on him while you do it, and he stares back at you, mouth parted, taking in the sight. Then, you start to stroke him, coating his length with your spit.

“I’m going to fucking ruin you,” Jisung growls.

He roughly takes your hand away, enclosing his fingers around your wrist, and pins it against the carpet. He lays you down as you bite your lip in amusement, glancing at his erection - and you can almost see him pulsating. He doesn’t let go of your arm, pushes up your skirt and pulls down your panties at the same time, and slides his fingers against your pussy.

You shudder as he chuckles.

“You’re still so fucking wet, baby.”

“It was all the kissing,” you admit with a smile.

You kiss his jawline, his neck, his ear, as he keeps rubbing his fingers against your wetness. You’re clenching around nothing, your hips moving in search of pressure - but Jisung keeps his caresses light.

“Chris got you good, didn’t he?”

“He did,” you breathe, although you can barely find the words.

“Got me, too, to see you make out,” he replies, keeping his voice low. “Maybe one day I can watch you fuck.”

As he says the words, he inserts two fingers inside of you, and you let out a choked whimper.

“Fuck, Ji, don’t say shit like that,” you cry out.

“Why not? Wouldn’t you want to?”

“Right now, I just want you,” you say, and you mean it.

He smiles against your lips as you kiss him. You sit up slightly, and he liberates you, taking his fingers out of you. He slides them into his mouth, cleaning them.

“The taste was almost gone,” he explains, and you smile.

You give yourself a boost to turn him around so you can straddle him. You place yourself so your folds grind against his cock, swaying your hips slowly. He lets out a deep breath, and you throw your head back. Your hands sprawl on his chest as you keep moving, and you know you’re making a mess, smearing your wetness on his skin, but you don’t care.

“Fuck, yes, baby,” he moans.

You glance at him with a smile.

“You like that?”

“I do. Are you coming?”

“I’m close.”

“Then stop. I want you to come around my dick.”

Not that you could refuse him. He takes out a condom from his back pocket - you don’t question why he would have that ready - and hands it to you. You get him ready, your fingers trembling slightly.

“Going to pound that pussy so good,” Jisung whispers to you, placing your hair behind your ears, cupping your cheek.

You rub his length against you to lubricate, and then slowly ease him in. A curse escapes your lips, and Jisung secures his hands on your hips. You accelerate gradually, and soon you are fucking him, your capacity to think escaping you. He helps you by bucking his hips, deepening the thrusts.

One of his hands travels across your stomach, squeezes your breast.

“So pretty,” he moans.

“You’re so fucking deep inside me,” you breathe out.

“C’m’here, baby,” he grunts, pulling you towards him, so you lean against his chest.

He places your arm behind your back, pinning you in place, and your knees fall on either side of him. Then, he starts hammering into you. The way he holds you, you can barely move, and the sensation is so intense it instantly makes you see stars.

“Holy shit, Ji,” you whimper. “I’m coming…”

“Come, pretty thing,” he whispers in your ear.

You come undone around him, shaking violently as he keeps you in place. Your moans echo through the basement, and maybe you’re being too loud, but you don’t care. You’re pretty sure no one can hear you above the deafening music from upstairs, anyway. Jisung continues to thrust into you, placing a few languid kisses on your neck until you’ve come down. Only then does he slow down.

“How was that, baby?” he asks, still rolling his hips.

“So fucking good.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” he smiles. “Stand up for me.”

You nod and manage to push yourself on your wobbly legs. You lean against the couch, and a part of you just wants to lay down on it. But Jisung has another idea. He stands up as well, pulling you in his arms.

“Sit here,” he says, and pats the back of the couch.

He pushes the hair away from your face, kissing you deeply, his cock brushing your pussy. He’s still so hard - you know he’s not done with you. You settle on the top of the couch, spreading your legs. Jisung takes his pulsating cock and guides it inside of you again, keeping your legs apart.

You’re already getting too used to having him there, because your body hums in approval, and your pleasure immediately starts building back up. It feels like he’s filling every inch of you, his breath heavy on your neck, thrusting into you in deep, languorous moves.

“Fuck, you’re good at this,” you mutter.

“It’s because you take me so well, baby,” he grins. “But I like your compliments.”

You bite your lip. “Praise kink?”

“Y’know it.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, kissing his earlobes, licking his neck. You start to suck at the skin there, intent on leaving a trace, and he growls.

“You’re look so fucking sexy right now, Ji,” you breathe in his ear. “I love your cock. I love how you fuck me with it. You’re so beautiful and you made me come so hard.”

You feel him twitch inside of you, and you can’t help but smile. You hum, planting a few kisses along his jawline.

“Is there anything you can’t do, Ji?” you breathe, although he starts thrusting into you so hard you have a hard time aligning your words. “Such a good kisser, and you… You fuck so well… And the way you play…”

He moans, slamming into you. The sound of your voice, of his breathing, of his skin slapping against yours becomes a blissful symphony.

“When I saw you playing the drums… Fuck, I just fell in love with you,” you say.

You don’t know how you’re still talking because he’s moving faster and faster, bringing you to the edge again.

“Your fingers around the sticks… The way you hit the drums… So fast and brutal…”

“Fuck, baby…” he whimpers.

“You’re magic, Ji,” you cry out. “Everything that you are is magic.”

He moves his head to capture your lips again, and you moan in his mouth. Your kisses are feverish, disorderly.

“I’m coming again,” you moan.

“Don’t hold it back, baby, fuck, keep clenching like that,” he says.

You’re seconds away from coming when he does, and the feeling of his cock bursting into you is almost too much to handle. Your orgasm reverberates in your entire body, his too - and after a few seconds of delightful chaos you breathe out against each other, panting.

When you’re able, you open your eyes. His remain closed, and you admire the sweat on his skin, the slightly smudged makeup. You must look as much of a mess as he is.

You place a chaste kiss on his lower lip, and he opens his eyes to smile at you.

“I don’t want to move,” he says.

“Me neither,” you admit.

“Let’s just stay like that for a few more seconds.”

You nod, your head falling on his shoulder. After a minute, however, your legs start to waver, and you reluctantly move away from each other. Luckily there’s a bathroom in the basement, so you go together to clean up. He helps you lace your top back on and you insist on putting back his belt yourself.

He strokes your hair. Kisses you on the temple. Keeps your hand in his as you walk back upstairs.

You feel dizzy. You feel good.

This is dangerous.

Jisung will be leaving soon.

He’ll forget you and you’ll have to do the same.

All in good time.

Felix has fallen asleep on Chris’ shoulder, who is texting on his phone. Minho is playing a card game with the guy from earlier - when you approach them, he gives you a nod.

“You two look fucked out.”

“Let’s go home,” Jisung says, ruffling Minho’s hair.

You watch as the two boys walk away, their arms thrown around each other’s shoulders. Although you’re exhausted your smile doesn’t leave you, and you help Chris wake Felix. The guitarist groans but still follows you, and you steal a bowl of chips on your way out so you can eat them in the taxi.

You get to the band’s rental and everyone heads for their bedrooms - you leave the empty bowl on the kitchen counter, following Jisung to his bed. You both fall against the mattress, entangling your limbs together, and you sleep.

Thank you for reading! I really hope you liked it, please let me know if you did. See you soon for part two!

#han smut #han x reader #han x you #han x y/n #han jisung smut #han jisung x y/n #han jisung x reader #han jisung x you #skz smut #skz x reader #skz x you #skz x y/n #stray kids smut #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you

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gluion · 1 year ago

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[part one] of boundaries and secret glances (i'm lucky to be loved by you) ➵ kim sunwoo

idol!kim sunwoo x ex-idol!reader

as a well-respected independent producer in the industry, you get requests from different companies for collaborations. when you accept to work on chanhee and sunwoo's unit track for their upcoming album, you are left to your own devices as you work closely with sunwoo. who is to say what can happen over the days?

genre/warnings ➵ strangers to friends to lovers (though sunwoo has always had a crush on you since your debut), music and lyrics au, fluff, angst with happy ending, afab reader (they/them pronouns), drinking, kpop mistreatment, mental and physical abuse done by companies, close proximity, sunwoo is a FLIRT!!! and also obsessed with you, LOONA IS FREE HERE!!!, iz*one sadly does not exist </3, boundaries are definitely crossed in the sense that you should not be flirting this much with a co-worker turned friend...

word count ➵ 15.7k words (30.3k words in total)

parts ➵ [1] [2]

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet

a/n ➵ this work has been in the making for a year or two. oftentimes, i find it hard to finish works or put them out since i find myself getting scared of how my works will be received. after reading this for how many times and adding final revisions, i am happy that i get to share this baby to the world! this fic is because of how much i love the movie "music and lyrics" and how i kind of fantasized myself and sunwoo in a similar context. thank you again for taking the time to read this. please note that idols shown or talked about in this fic are not meant to reflect my real thoughts on them. i love all the idols here in this fic (especially jiyoon) i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to like and reblog this.

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist

1CON: Where Are They Now? By Lee Hyejin of Soompi

It has been two years since South Korea's beloved group disbanded. Formed back in 2017 through Produce 101, 1CON has swept the hearts of many from pre-debut until disbandment. Yesterday, the members posted pictures on their SNS accounts that show their little reunion. This then sparked “1CON REUNION” to trend on Twitter.

To this day, many fans hope to see a reunion concert take place to see the members come together once again. As the public waits, we wonder where the members have gone off to.

The beloved center Shin Ryujin (Rank 1) and well-known dancer Lee Chaeryeong (Rank 9) of JYP Entertainment are part of the newest girl group ITZY whose unique sound has found its way to capture the hearts of many. As the group continues to conquer the K-Pop scene with their talents, they have become the pride and joy of JYP Entertainment.

Power vocalist Jo Yuri (Rank 2) parted ways with Off The Record Entertainment and worked on her solo debut under WAKEONE with the track “GLASSY.” With the number of music show wins gained, Jo will be one of the 4th Gen's well-known vocalists.

Captivating dancer Jeon Heejin (Rank 3) and charismatic vocalist Kim “Chuu” Jiwoo (Rank 5) made their debut back in 2020 with LOONA under Blockberry Creative. However, the members of the group have ended their contracts with the company because of the mistreatment they received.

Now, Jeon is a member of ARTMS with some of the former members of LOONA—Kim “Kim Lip” Jungeun, Jeong “Jinsoul” Jinsol, and Choi “Choerry” Yerim—under Modhaus. Chuu chose to pursue her solo endeavors under ATRP.

One of K-Pop's best 4th Gen vocalists, Kim Minjeong (Rank 4) of SM Entertainment, is rumored to make her debut in a girl group later in the year. While we can say not much at the moment, SM Entertainment has got everyone excited for their upcoming debut.

Jack of all trades, Shin Jiyoon (Rank 6) of Play M Entertainment, debuted back in 2020 with the group Weeekly. The group's upbeat and catchy music is produced by Shin herself. As Weeekly brings back cute concepts to the K-Pop scene, many people expect that “girl crush” will not be the norm.

Formerly under JYP Entertainment, well-known producer Y/N (Rank 7) is not signed with any company. As they work on their own terms and team, they have been releasing music on different platforms with full artistic freedom. Despite having no company, countless entertainment companies continuously contact them. They have worked with IU, Red Velvet, BIBI, Jamie Park, Pentagon, and more.

Lovable and powerful rapper Choi Yena (Rank 8) of Yuehua Entertainment recently made her debut with “SMILEY (Feat. BIBI)” whose catchy tune has trended all over Twitter. Many fans have commented that the concept is fitting for her debut. As she continues with her promotions, many fans wait to see her thrive in her solo career.

Along with that, opera-trained singer Huh Yunjin (Rank 10) of HYBE Entertainment is rumored to debut in the upcoming girl group with Produce 101 participants Kim Chaewon and Miyawaki Sakura. However, Huh has been actively posting original music and covers on different streaming platforms. As she continues to keep fans impressed with her talents, many people anticipate the debut of HYBE’s newest girl group.

Memorable vocalist Song Yuqi (Rank 11) of Cube Entertainment is part of (G)I-DLE who continues to release comebacks that showcase the uniqueness of the members. With tracks that will have you dancing and singing along, (G)I-DLE continues to showcase a different side to 4th Gen girl groups.

There have only been speculations and rumors surrounding a reunion concert for 1CON. All that can be said for now is that the members are in close contact with each other and working hard to continue dominating the K-Pop industry in their own ways.

“Y/N, you’ve got emails from H1ghr Music, AOMG, and THE L1VE. What would you like me to do with the other emails you’ve received from other companies?” Park Soeun, your manager, asks as she barges into your home office with her eyes trained on her iPad.

As she looks up, she takes in the sight; messy papers laid out on the table; knickknacks and souvenirs from 1CON members scattered all over the floor; you in your most devilish state whose hair is all over the place with clothes from yesterday.

“God, Y/N. What in the world happened here?” Soeun asks as she picks up all the gifts from your ex-peers.

“It’s been so long since the girls and I got together, so we got kinda crazy last night.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t explain the mess in your office. Jesus… Y/N, I never knew your office could get even messier and more… disorganized,” She continues as she settles on placing all the gifts from 1CON on an empty shelf. “I didn’t even know you would end up going to that reunion.”

You sigh as you continue to click away on your computer, ignoring her last comment.

“Drunk me decided they wanted to work despite being intoxicated,” You mention as you continue to loop a specific segment in the instrumental you’ve been working on all night.

“You haven’t slept?!” She exclaims, attempting to gather and pile up the papers scattered all over your desk. When you let out a hum, she sighs as you continue to immerse yourself in your work.

“Y/N, I think we need to talk.”

“About?”

“This.” As you finally look away from your monitor, you see Soeun with her arms crossed as she hugs her iPad.

“Oh god, don’t tell me what I think it is.”

“I’m serious. We need to talk about what’s going to happen to us,” Soeun demands as she finally takes a seat in front of you. Before you could protest, she continued.

“Y/N, you’ve been doing this for a year, and I’ve stuck with you the whole time. From pre-debut, disbandment, and even until deciding to leave JYP, I stayed with you because I wanted to support you.”

Ultimately, you knew it was hard for Soeun to leave her job at JYP Entertainment to support you. Giving up her stable job to follow you has become one of your biggest burdens to carry to this day.

As she sees the frown on your face, she continues. “I didn’t leave because of an impulse decision. In fact, I left because I knew that working at JYP isn’t what I want at the end of everything. Y/N, I don’t know if you know this but you don’t give yourself enough credit for all the things you’ve gone through and accomplished.”

“I think that’s an overstatement. I don’t think I’ve–”

“You have accomplished a lot of things. You debuted with 1CON, made the difficult decision of leaving a well-known company to pursue your dreams with full creative freedom, and produced music for artists that continue to dominate the charts.”

Silence settles between you two as you try to take in her words. You love the compliments and praise you receive, but sometimes you feel it is never enough. This leads you to overexert yourself; the need to constantly achieve as if it is your only purpose in life.

“You need to give yourself more credit, which also means recognizing that you deserve more.” You knew where this conversation was going, and you didn’t want to hear her continue.

“Soeun, please don’t–”

“I’m sorry Y/N, but you need to at least hear me out. I really think you need to sign with a company.”

With that, you close your eyes as you take in her words. It hurts enough to see people on the Internet constantly discuss the success you could have gained if you were signed with a company, but it pains you physically to hear the same words from someone who knew you inside and out.

“I know your experiences with JYP and Stone Music Entertainment are some that you wish to forget, and I will never forget nor can I ever excuse the amount of mistreatment you faced under those two. However, I do think you can find yourself signed with another company, possibly a better one that knows how to treat you right,” Soeun says.

You finally open your eyes and nod, giving her the signal that she could continue. “It’s hard for both you and me to keep up with the demand. Although we have Taeyeon to help with styling and Sungyoon for photos and music videos, we only have such little manpower to keep up. You could be earning more, maybe relaxing more if you get signed with a company.”

With that, you let out a sigh. “Where is this coming from? Is it because of the number of emails I’ve left unanswered?”

Soeun shakes her head and says, “It’s not really that. Of course, I’ve had to deal with this when I still worked in JYP, but it isn’t the main reason I’m having this talk with you.”

“I’m going to be putting in my two-week notice.” You knew this day would come; she is resigning.

“I applied for jobs at different companies and I got an email back.”

“Congrats Soeun, you deserve it,” You say with a half-hearted smile.

You mean it, but it hurt to know that Soeun would not be with you as you continue your journey. She became a permanent presence in your life, and you could never imagine life without her in it.

Before you could allow yourself to be vulnerable, you decided to ask, “So, which company? I’m excited to hear who’s lucky to have Kim Soeun.” She lets out a laugh.

“I got signed with Cre.ker Entertainment. They had an opening for another managerial position,” She says as you nod.

“That’s the company of The Boyz, right?” She lets out an ‘mhm’ as you continue to nod once again.

“Y/N, you do have an email from that company, if you haven’t realized,” Soeun points out.

As you decide to finally open your email, several unread and unanswered emails greet you. Typing the word “Cre.ker,” you find the email Soeun mentioned. Two weeks ago, you received an email from them to which you have not gotten around to replying or reading.

— — —

FROM: Cre.ker Entertainment <[email protected]>

TO: Y/N <y/[email protected]>

SUBJECT: THE BOYZ’s SUB-UNIT “NEWSUN” TRACK

Good day, Y/N!

Cre.ker Entertainment is reaching out to you in hopes you will accept our request to produce a track for The Boyz’s upcoming album.

The sub-unit “NEWSUN” (which comprises New and Sunwoo) has requested that you produce their track on the upcoming album. If you wish to accept the offer, please let us know no later than two weeks.

We look forward to hearing from you and working with you.

— — —

“Huh, this is funny. I only have until today to reply,” You mention which Soeun chuckles at.

“I mentioned that you got an email from them about a week ago. You said you would get back to them, but clearly, you haven’t.”

“Yeah well, I shouldn’t be trusted with emails,” You reply to which she rolls her eyes. “Figures.”

“Anyway, going back to what we were discussing. You deserve more—a lot more, actually.” She grabs your hand. “I am not saying that I invalidate your experiences nor can I say that this type of mistreatment is not a general thing found with K-Pop companies, but I believe you can sign with a company that will understand what you want.” You think over what she says but never give a reply.

“I just want you to know that I appreciate working and supporting you for… god knows how long. I’ll be sending my formal resignation to your email. Please read it,” She begs which has you laughing.

“Yeah yeah, I will.” She smiles and stands up from her seat.

“Y/N, think over what I said.” She sucks in a breath. “You deserve more, and I want you to be secured in your career as you continue your journey in the industry. I’m not saying you should audition for Cre.ker Entertainment, but I’m saying to look into companies you’re interested to be under. I’ll just be in the room beside you.”

As she leaves your office, you are left with your thoughts and nothing more. In these moments, you miss being with 1CON the most.

It is 4:07 AM, and you are still seated in your home office. In fact, it’s your only office as you cannot afford to rent a separate place for work. You have finally finished the track for Jung Wheein’s album and sent it over to THE L1VE through email.

As you think back to Soeun’s words, you decide to open up the email from Cre.ker Entertainment. Reading it once more, you decide to search for The Boyz on YouTube. You know of them and some of their tracks, but you decided that was not enough.

Searching up the words “NEW & SUNWOO” on YouTube, you find a video of theirs that covers “Nerdy Love,” a song you adore from an artist you highly respect. You decide to click the video and watch what the two boys had to offer.

Despite thinking you did not know enough, you knew who was who thanks to Jiwoo, your ex-peer. She is friends with New (or Chanhee) as they would be special MCs for music shows. After all the time they spent joking around behind the scenes, Jiwoo adores him and thinks of him as one of her closest friends now.

You remember how she described him to you two days ago. “Chanhee is the nicest guy I’ve ever met, and I trust him with almost everything. I hope you get to meet him one day! He’s a huge fan of your work,” She told you at the 1CON reunion two days ago.

However, you have no idea who Sunwoo is. All you know is that Heejin is sort of friends with him but they do not spend a lot of time with each other due to schedule conflicts. The most they ever interact with each other is whenever they play video games with other people their age. If you could recall, all Heejin had to say was that he was nice, and that is as much as you can remember.

Yet, you could not deny that you found him pleasing to look at. Maybe it is his hair, smile, or even the aura he gives off, but your eyes found themselves focusing on him. In the way he performs, you can see how much he enjoys performing.

Throughout your time in the industry, you have seen many artists work in their craft. Many idols share the unfortunate fate of working with peers they despise while others are not given the liberty to work on the tracks they put out. However, only some can say they enjoy what they do—only some can confidently say they love what they do. Sunwoo and Chanhee look like they fit in the latter.

Seeing the two boys vibe and perform one of your favorite songs was such a delight. In fact, you ended up looping the video as you continued to enjoy their cover. You also did not want to admit to having it just play in the background as you continued to finally go through your emails. Knowing Soeun, she would be happy to hear that you finally replied to the many companies reaching out to you.

Despite knowing what to say to which company, there is one company you did not know how to respond to. As you see the same email you read a while ago from Cre.ker Entertainment, you let out a sigh. The more you thought about it, the more you realized it could possibly help out Soeun get used to Cre.ker Entertainment.

As someone who does not want to let her go, you should have denied the company stealing her away from you. If anything, you felt as if you needed to resent Cre.ker Entertainment. Yet, you knew that Soeun resigning did not mean she would be gone forever. After everything, she is your best friend who stuck with you through thick and thin. You only want what is best for her—that is what makes her happy.

With that, you knew your answer.

“God if I knew Play M Entertainment and Cre.ker Entertainment were going to merge to form IST, I would have said no,” You say as you look up at the building in front of you.

“Sorry Y/N, I thought you knew! I think you should at least hear them out and if you can’t do it, you can just–”

“No, it’s fine. I can do this. I mean, it’s not like I will see her, you know?” You say as you take a deep breath.

With that, you enter the building with Soeun. As she walks to the front desk to talk to the woman about your appointment, you decide to take in your surroundings. The building is just like any other company; it reminds you of your trainee days. Despite being inside different company buildings to produce for artists, you can never stop being reminded of what happened to you then.

Before you could think about it anymore, Soeun loops her arm with yours. “C’mon, let’s go,” She says with a smile.

She always knew how to take care of you. With that, you two walk together to the elevator and try to make your way to the meeting room.

“I know you’re nervous about bumping into–”

“Please don’t say her name! What if someone catches on?” You exclaim which she nods at.

��Yeah, you’re right. Please don’t think about it too much because I don’t want you to be stressed about that and this meeting.”

“I’ll try. God, why did they have to merge?” You practically ask the universe as you and Soeun stand right in front of a door.

“No time to complain, you’ve got this. I hope you know I’m proud of you for still pushing through with this.”

“Soeun, you only told me that they merged when we were in the car. I almost grabbed that steering wheel.”

“Either way, just hear them out. I heard from my friends that Chanhee and Sunwoo are big fans of your work.”

With that, you sigh. “Fine. Just know I took this job because I wanted to see where you work.”

“I also know you did it because you wanted me to adjust already. I hope you know that I love you,” She says with a smile.

She then opens the door to see The Boyz’s manager, Sunwoo, and Chanhee seated. The three stand up from their seats to greet and bow at the two of you.

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you all! I’m Soeun, Y/N’s manager, and I’ll be here to assist,” Soeun says as you two enter, bowing at the three. Once you and Soeun take a seat, you notice that you are seated right in front of Sunwoo.

Seeing him in the video was hard but seeing him right in front of you was even harder. As soon as he flashed a smile, you immediately looked away and hoped you were not red. If Soeun found out you were reacting this way about someone, she would never let you live it down (which is why you hope she would never notice).

“Hello, I’m Jihoon. Before anything, I think I should let them introduce themselves. They’ve been waiting for this moment to finally meet you,” Their manager says, which has both Chanhee and Sunwoo flustered.

“Ah, you didn’t have to mention that! But hello, I’m Chanhee! It’s nice to finally meet you. Jiwoo mentioned that she talked to you about me,” Chanhee greets you with a bow to which you smile.

“And I’m Sunwoo. Both Chanhee and I really enjoy your work, and we look forward to working with you,” Sunwoo follows right after with a bow.

“Ah, thank you so much. I look forward to working with you as well,” You manage to say without your voice cracking. You were flustered, and you were pretty sure it was showing with how red your cheeks were. God, you knew Soeun was going to make fun of you later.

“Alright, I guess we can start.”

The meeting was a success. Soeun handled most of it but you managed to chime in every now and then and understand what they needed from you.

“What was it with you a while ago?” Soeun asked when you two finally reached your place.

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N, I know how you act when you find someone attractive. Is it Sunwoo? I won’t judge you.” You choose not to answer her as you go to the kitchen. “So it is!”

“I didn’t even answer!” You exclaim as you look through the fridge.

“I get it though, he is very attractive.”

“Soeun, you’re so annoying. Please stop,” You whine as you decide to grab some water.

“Well, good luck to you! You have to meet with them two days from now. You have only a week from your first meeting with him to submit the final track. Yes, final track, okay? Please remember that,” Soeun says as she notes it on her iPad.

“God, I don’t know why I agreed. That’s barely enough time to produce something satisfactory, let alone a good final track.” Soeun pats your shoulder as she continues to look down at her iPad.

“Don’t forget, you were the one who said yes when I tried to negotiate.” You let out a groan and take a seat.

“I mean if you said yes because you wanted to spend more time with Sunwoo–”

“Please stop. I don’t want to cross any boundaries of our strictly work relationship” You practically beg, to which she laughs.

“You’ve got this! Let me know if you need me to negotiate with Jihoon again. Just keep me updated on whatever ends up happening between you two,” She says with a smile as she walks away.

“Soeun, nothing is going to happen!” You exclaim which only makes her let out another laugh.

“You never know!”

It has been two days since that meeting, and you regret agreeing to the set deadline. It feels as if you have not gotten any wink of sleep in the last 48 hours as the stress and anxiety got to you. As you entered the building with a cup of coffee in your hand, you informed the woman at the front desk that you were expected to attend another meeting with Sunwoo and Chanhee.

“Please make yourself comfortable and wait here. I’ll just ring up their manager–”

“They’re with me!” You hear someone shout from behind you. As you turn to look, you see Sunwoo walking towards you and greeting you with a bow which you return.

“It’s nice to see you again,” He says, making you smile.

“I’ll bring them up, just inform hyung.” Sunwoo signals you to follow him as he makes his way to the elevator.

“So, how are you? I’m guessing you managed to think of something within the two days?” He asks as you two wait for the elevator to arrive.

You laugh as you shake your head. “I wish.”

“Did you get any sleep?” You shake your head in response which he laughs at.

“Well, if you pass out, I’ll be there to cover for you,” He says only for you to get shy.

“Oh god, you don’t–”

“I was just kidding Y/N, sorry if it wasn’t obvious.” The elevator doors finally open and you both get in.

“Oh, that’s my bad,” You say as you let out a nervous laugh.

“Hey, it’s no problem.”

The elevator doors finally close and you two go up. As silence engulfs you two, you somehow think it is your fault.

“I, uhm, tend to be very shy around new people. I’m not usually like this,” You say to break the silence.

He looks at you with a smile and nods. “No worries, Chanhee and Heejin said the same.”

You were surprised to find out that he’s talked about you to others. As you continued to look straightforward, you would only hope that Heejin or Jiwoo did not mention anything embarrassing to the two.

“I never got to ask, but how are you?” You decided to finally ask him.

“Oh, well it’s been alright?” He says in an unsure manner which has you raising an eyebrow at him.

“Well, the guys and I have been practicing the choreography for our comeback, and I’ve been kind of nervous about how Chanhee and I’s track is going to turn out. Not that I’m trying to say I don’t trust you, but I am nervous about how well I’m going to execute your vision,” He admits.

“If it helps, I think whatever you do will perfectly execute what I see.” You smile at him to which he smiles back.

“Oh, so you trust me that much? How much have you seen my performances to say that?” He asks as he faces you and leans against the wall, a smug look on his face. Something about how he keeps the conversation going makes you less shy than before.

“Well, I had to do my research,” You admit with a smirk.

“Oh, the famous Y/N has done their research on me? What do you know about me?” He asks to which you decide to face him as well. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

He chuckles as soon as the elevator doors open. “Well don’t think I didn’t research you,” He says and walks out with you following.

You two eventually arrive at one of the recording studios with no Chanhee to be found.

“Oh, where’s Chanhee?” You ask as you look around the recording studio.

“Oh, I forgot to mention that Chanhee wouldn’t be sitting in for a lot of the production process because he has a bunch of other schedules to attend to. I hope you don’t mind spending this time with me,” Sunwoo says with a smile as he takes a seat on the couch.

“Oh, I see,” You say as you stay rooted in place.

“If you’re uncomfor–”

“No no, it’s okay. As I said, I’m just shy,” You cut him off and muster the biggest and most awkward smile.

Before you could apologize for your behavior, Sunwoo lets out a giggle. “Y/N, I get it, but you don’t have to be awkward around me.”

His words of reassurance allow you to breathe just for a little. There is something about Sunwoo that makes you both nervous yet comfortable. You did not know how, but that only made you want to know more about him.

You decide to take a seat on the office chair in front of the mixing console and spin it to face Sunwoo. “Alright, I think we should go through what you and Chanhee want from the track. I know Jihoon discussed it in the meeting but I would like to hear it from you,” You say as you set down your cup of coffee on the coffee table.

“Well, Chanhee and I really want an R&B track for this album. Think of, I don’t know, “Nerdy Love” if you know that track,” Sunwoo explains which makes you smile.

“Yeah, I do know that. It’s one of my favorites.” And with that, Sunwoo smirks.

“I’m guessing you’ve listened to our cover if you did research on us.”

You choose to not answer and grab your notebook and pen as you try to suppress a smile. “Ah, not answering means ‘yes’, by the way.”

“No, it doesn’t!” You scoff.

“It’s just a simple question, Y/N. Why won’t you answer it?” The stupid smile on his face has your heart doing little flips.

“There would be no fun in just answering. You’ll find out soon enough,” You say as you open your notebook to a clean page only for him to chuckle.

“Can you expound a bit more on what the main message of the song is?” You inquire as you write down some points.

“It’s a love song.” That has you scrunching your nose which Sunwoo notices.

“Hey, what’s the problem with that?!” He exclaims which makes you laugh.

“There’s no problem.”

“That expression you made a while ago didn’t say that.”

“Just don’t pay attention to my facial expressions! I won’t react, just continue,” You say as you look up from the notebook.

“It’s hard to not look at you,” He says as he tilts his head to the side with that stupid smile you have grown to both love and hate within that small period of time. You were flustered, and you did not know how to respond.

“Yeah, it’s a love song with a twist,” Sunwoo says as he tries to get back on topic (to which you are thankful for). “Picture this, Y/N.”

“I’m listening.”

“No no, close your eyes.” He urges you to do so in which you furrow your eyebrows. “What the fuck, I am not doing that.”

“Oh come on! It’ll immerse you in what Chanhee and I envisioned.”

“Sunwoo, I think you can explain it and I’ll follow through with what you’re saying.”

Sunwoo pouts at your answer as he crosses his arms. “I wouldn’t want to inform Heejin but…”

“Is that a threat?” You gasp when he simply looks around the room.

With that, you sigh and close your eyes. “Go on, I won’t keep my eyes closed forever,” You say and you hear him clap.

“Alright! Imagine this; you’ve known someone for a while, okay? And let’s say this person is someone you’ve been flirting with. You know, the push and pull, playful flirting, all the things you would do for something that started off as casual. Are you imagining it?”

“Yes Sunwoo, I am,” You sigh, which he laughs at.

“Okay. With time, you start to realize that you might actually like this person.”

“Woah, shocker.”

“C’mon Y/N, let me finish!” You laugh and decide to shut up. “Go on.”

“So, you’re on the brink of falling for them but you don’t want to admit anything. But plot twist: they seem to also be falling for you! And there comes a night where the two of you are chilling, but you two don’t want to drink for the reason that you two might confess under the influence.” As you listened to him, you got to envision what he was saying.

“You know, being with someone you like surrounded by alcohol is a dangerous combination,” You say as you finally open your eyes.

“Exactly! It’s the risk that makes it all scary because you don’t want to come off as ingenuine,” He continues to explain which has you nodding along and taking notes.

“Hm, I get it now. I dig it.” That has Sunwoo standing up from the couch with his arms spread out.

“I told you so! Chanhee and I know what are good love songs, not saying I hate love songs but clearly someone in this room does,” He says as he continues to look around, avoiding your gaze.

“I don’t hate love songs! I never said that, so stop putting words into my mouth,” You try to defend yourself as you roll your eyes. Sunwoo takes a seat again as he furrows his eyebrows at you.

“Y/N, I researched you too. There’s no need to lie.”

You let out a sigh. “Fine, I do.”

“And why so?” Sunwoo decides to ask which has you grabbing your cup of coffee to take a sip.

“Ask me later after we make some progress and I’ll answer,” You say which has Sunwoo rolling his eyes, a little smile playing on his lips.

It’s been three hours since you and Sunwoo decided to work, and there has been little to no success.

“God, why did I agree to that deadline?” You mutter to yourself as you shut your eyes with your hands over them in frustration. Sunwoo heard you as he was writing and crossing out lyrics for the track.

“Hey Y/N, why don’t we grab some lunch first?” You open your eyes and look behind you to see Sunwoo up from his seat.

“We haven’t made any progress.”

“Yeah, but you of all people should know that creativity and productivity don’t come with an empty stomach,” He tries to reason out as he walks to you and sets his hands on your chair.

As you look back at the computer in front of you, you see nothing on GarageBand. During times like these, you knew you had to get out of the studio. Whenever you hit a wall, the only solution was to find inspiration outside.

“Alright, let’s get some lunch,” You give in as you close the program and get up from your seat. “Where to?”

“I know a place for us to eat.”

Once the two of you exit the building, you follow Sunwoo as he leads you to where you two will be eating.

“So, why hate love songs?” He decides to ask which has you chuckling.

“I thought we agreed on asking once we’ve made progress, and clearly we haven’t.”

“Oh come on, we need to talk and get to know each other so that we can eventually get over the hurdle,” Sunwoo says which has you sighing.

“Fine. It’s just, I don’t know, cliché? It gets so repetitive that it gets so boring and typical.”

“Ah, you’re one of those people.” That has you letting out a gasp and looking right at him.

“What do you mean by that?!”

He only giggles as he continues to look straight forward. “C’mon Y/N, don’t look at me and look at where you’re going. You might trip.”

“As if–” Before you could finish, you trip and almost fall. It seemed like the universe was out to get you because Sunwoo was right. You were about to brace yourself for the impact, but a pair of arms grabbed your waist before you could fall.

“Oh my god, Y/N! I told you so!” Sunwoo exclaims as he lets go of you.

You wish you could say something but you were too embarrassed about Sunwoo wrapping his arms around you to save you from falling. As the two of you stood there, facing each other, you were about to apologize.

“Uh, sorry, I–”

“Just be careful next time, okay?” Sunwoo says as he rubs your head, messing up your hair. Before you could say anything, he grabs your hand and starts to walk with you following.

Usually, you would get mad if someone messed up your hair but there was something about Sunwoo that made you crave his touch. You hated how you were reacting this way over this guy. As the two of you held hands while you walked to the restaurant, you swear your heart almost burst out of your chest.

The two of you quickly arrived at the restaurant that Sunwoo wanted to bring you to; it was a small Japanese restaurant. As the two of you entered, the bells by the door seemed to chime which grabbed the servers’ attention. “Irasshaimase!”

A lady dressed in a red kimono walked to the two of you with a big smile. “Ah, Sunwoo! How are you?”

“I’m okay! I’ve been working really hard for our upcoming comeback,” Sunwoo replies with a grin that seems to warm both the lady’s and your hearts.

“Oh, you come with a guest! Hello! You are–oh my god, you’re a member of 1CON, right?” The lady asks you, showing the same smile she gave to Sunwoo.

“Ah yes, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you,” You say as you bow.

“Just a table for two, please.” With that, the lady nods and brings you two to a table located in a small room for privacy. As the two of you get seated, the lady hands you two menus to browse.

“By the way, I’m Hikaru, your server for today. Y/N, Sunwoo frequents here with the other members, so you can always ask him for recommendations,” She tells you which makes you smile. “I will.”

“Sunwoo, I didn’t know you were going out with an ex-member of 1CON! They’re one of Korea’s sweethearts,” Hikaru says, which has you freezing from reading the items on the menu. You knew your cheeks were red, so it surprised you when you decided to look up and see Sunwoo’s cheeks painted red as well.

“Ah, it’s not like that. We’re just colleagues,” He tries to explain which Hikaru understands.

“Oh, I see! I didn’t know. You two would make a good pair though,” She says as she leaves the room which has you both frozen in your seats.

Sunwoo lets out an awkward chuckle and decides to avoid your gaze. “So, what do you like to eat? This place is known for their sushi but they do have really good katsudon.”

“Yeah, sushi works for me.” Once Sunwoo ordered a bunch of sushi platters, the two of you were left in awkward silence.

“So, what do you mean I am one of those people?” You decide to ask to lighten up the mood which was successful as he seemed to laugh.

“I’m just saying, you are part of the people who hate on love songs to be “unique” for some odd reason,” He explains while doing air quotations.

“I don’t hate them just to be unique. I am not that shallow!”

“Alright, so why then?” You sigh as you look at your glass of water.

“I just think they set an unrealistic standard for what love really is.” Sunwoo tilts his head in confusion and asks, “Care to expound?”

“I’m not dramatic or anything, by the way. I think love just isn’t what lyricists make it out to be,” You say as you finally look straight at him.

“Okay, so what are your experiences with it then?”

“Woah Sunwoo, jumping right into it? Give me some time.” You chuckle.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to–”

“I was just kidding, Sunwoo. You’re good.” Sunwoo only smiles and drinks some water.

“What about you? Why do you seem to love love songs?”

“I don’t know what else to say other than I’m a hopeless romantic,” He admits with a small smile.

“Good experiences with love then I’m guessing?”

“Sure, but I just continue to love as if it’s my first time doing so.”

With that, Sunwoo has you smiling. Something about his answer makes your heart throb; you knew it would be a privilege to be loved by him. “Wow, you really are a hopeless romantic.”

Sunwoo rolls his eyes at your comment. “Alright, sue me! There’s nothing wrong with being one.”

You hum as you prop your arm on the table and rest your chin on your hand. “Yeah, it just adds more to my research.”

“Sunwoo, you sure know the best places to eat,” You admit as you try to keep yourself awake from entering a food coma.

Sunwoo smiles both at what you say and how your eyes slightly droop. “Thank you. My friend, Haknyeon, suggested this place back when we were in our trainee days. Now, we eat here so much that everyone seems to know the usual.”

You giggle and let out a small sigh as you look down at the table. “It must be nice to hang out with your friends almost every single second of the day.”

Sunwoo notices the small frown that is about to appear on your face. Before he could say anything, you shake your head as you chuckle and say, “Anyway, shall we head out?”

All Sunwoo did was nod and stand up with you as you exited the small function room. You took this opportunity to look around the restaurant and notice a bar with a small stage beside it. On that stage, people were playing different instruments as they performed a jazzy tune you were unfamiliar with.

Before Sunwoo could leave the restaurant, he noticed you staring in awe at the performers. There was something with how you admired a trio of musicians; the glint in your eyes as you observed how they pluck the strings of their instruments or played the keys of the piano; the slight bobbing of your head as you tried to go along with the tempo they played. The absolute adoration that seemed to show on your face made Sunwoo want—no, need to have you around to experience more moments like these.

Suddenly, your face of admiration morphed into realization. As you meet Sunwoo’s gaze, you say, “I figured it out.”

It is 8:37 PM. You and Sunwoo have spent the last four or five hours working on your own to create the best track suited for their unit song. In those hours, you managed to create the base track on GarageBand and think of a melody in your head. Yet, within those hours, you never noticed how much Sunwoo spent his time looking at you.

“I think I have it,” You finally say as you remove your headphones and look back to see Sunwoo who was on his fifth page full of messy words and scribbles. “Sure, you can play it out loud.”

You change the output settings to speakers and play the track for the two of you to listen. The sound of the electric guitar, the bass, and the drums came all together. You carefully watched Sunwoo as you await his response to the 45-second recording you produced.

As the track finally came to an end, you could not tell what Sunwoo thought of it. “I know it’s not a lot, but that was something I imagined for the track to turn out,” You admit as you continued to stare at him.

“Could you play it again?” You listened to his request and followed. One loop of the short recording turned into three more loops, and you were scared. No matter how many artists you have produced tracks for, you always find yourself anxious about everyone’s feedback.

Sunwoo bopped his head along with the track as he went through the lyrics he wrote. As it reached the end, he looked up to give you a big smile. “It sounds amazing. You never fail to amaze me.”

Despite only getting to know him today, something about those words seemed to warm your heart. With that, you smile as you get off your seat and say, “I kind of thought of the melody too. Care to give me a hand with recording it?”

Sunwoo nodded with the same smile plastered on his face as he got off his seat. Once you entered the recording booth, you saw him seated right in front of the mixing console and desktop. You wear the headphones and test the microphone.

“Am I at a good volume?” You speak into the microphone and earn a nod from him.

“You can play the track, just make sure I’m being recorded.” With that, Sunwoo gives you a thumbs-up and presses a few buttons.

Once you heard the track play out in your headphones, you decided to hum a short tune. Sometimes, you even sang a few lines that came to you on the spot. Some of the things you said did not make sense but Sunwoo seemed to enjoy every single line you sang.

When the track ended abruptly, you look at Sunwoo only to see those doe eyes full of adoration.

“Y/N, please tell me you slept because–oh? You actually slept,” Soeun says in shock as she enters your bedroom and sees you still in bed.

“Soeun, what time is it?” You ask groggily as you rub your eyes.

“11 AM. I am quite surprised you slept.”

“Yeah well, Sunwoo and I squeezed out too much creative juices yesterday and basically ran dry,” You explained as you sat up and stretched your limbs.

“Mhm, how was it? Any progress?” You roll your eyes and get out of bed to walk to your closet

“Soeun, I know I fall quick and hard for almost any person but I am not going to indulge in this one.”

“We’ll see about that,” Soeun mutters loud enough for you to hear.

Before you could interject, she says, “Jihoon told me that Chanhee wouldn’t be participating in the production process due to the schedules he has to attend. Although Jihoon did say Chanhee was incredibly upset.” You nod and hum as you decide what to wear for the day.

“Which means more time with Sunwoo!”

“Soeun!”

“So, Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“Mind if I could ask you something personal?”

“Depends how you define ‘personal’.”

“How was it in 1CON? How was it to be the nation’s sweetheart?” The way Sunwoo phrased it had you laughing.

“God, I am not the nation’s sweetheart,” You deny as you decide to take a short break and look back at him.

“That’s not what the publications say! Almost every news outlet calls 1CON that.”

“I was ranked seventh, and it was a miracle! I even questioned how I managed to make it to the final lineup,” You argue as you take a sip of matcha that Sunwoo had surprised you with when you entered the building. You did not know how he knew but you could only guess that he researched on you even more.

Sunwoo frowns at your reply and says, “You went against a hundred contestants, you shouldn’t downplay your efforts.”

You only sigh and decide to cut the argument short. “Well, 1CON was just like any group; there’s not much to say.”

“Wasn’t the training difficult?”

You chose to keep your answer short and say, “It was, but my time with 1CON is something I still cherish to this day. I made some friends that I still talk to and hang out with until this day.”

“You’re close friends with Jiwoo and Heejin, right?” You nod as you look up to the ceiling, remembering the fun you had with 1CON. Despite everything you have been through, you would sometimes justify the mistreatment you faced with your debut with 1CON.

“I’m close with Yuri also, but I’m casual with everyone,” You tell a white lie to Sunwoo, knowing he would never find out.

“You came from JYP, right?”

“Wow, Sunwoo, you really have been doing research on me. You know you could always just ask! You can’t trust all the things you see on the Internet!”

Sunwoo giggles at your response, his smile showing up once more. “I’m just curious since Ryujin and Chaeryeong are from the same company as you.”

“Brilliant observation from Mr. Kim Sunwoo.” You point out which has Sunwoo laughing once more.

“I’m serious! Wouldn’t you have debuted with them?”

You sigh as you take another sip of matcha. “I would’ve but I am here producing tracks for others.”

Silence engulfs you two as both of you continue to bask in your answer. “Don’t get me wrong, I do love producing. Sometimes, I look at the artists who perform the tracks I produce and think, “Wow, I could never do that.””

Sunwoo was about to interject but you continued to speak. “But I can’t deny that I miss being on stage. The stadiums, the fansigns, the fans… and performing with friends. 1CON has changed my life, and sometimes I wish I could go back to when we were still together.”

It has been a while since you have gotten to vocalize your thoughts, and it felt nice to let this out to Sunwoo. Soeun knew all of your struggles and inner thoughts, but you always felt bad for repeating the same words and thoughts. Now that you got to vocalize this to Sunwoo, you felt at ease around him.

“I wish you would realize that you are talented to perform the tracks you produced,” Sunwoo speaks up which has you ripping your gaze from the ceiling to look right at him.

“Y/N, I do think you are capable enough—no, even more than capable to perform the tracks you have produced. I’ve listened to your own tracks, the ones you published yourself, and I believe they are the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard.” Your eyes are in awe over his words. “You are a very talented person, Y/N, and you might have to be my favorite producer and artist out there.”

What Sunwoo says has you starstruck. The way he thought and viewed you should have put this huge amount of pressure on you, but you were pleasantly surprised when you were met with a breath of fresh air.

“Wow, you are very passionate about this,” You finally speak up, trying to shrug off the fact that he complimented you.

Sunwoo frowns at your response and says, “Y/N, you really should give yourself more credit.”

With that, you sigh and give in for once. “Thank you, Sunwoo.”

It was weird to think how someone thought all of that about you. Having someone think of you as their favorite artist and producer? In an industry full of capable and even more talented individuals compared to little you? It felt even weirder to know that someone had to be Sunwoo.

“So, what about you? What’s it like to be in The Boyz?”

It is 2:32 AM, and you and Sunwoo are seated inside the convenience store having some late-night snacks. You could officially say you were done with 75% done with the track. You needed to work on the bridge and outro for you to finally do the final arrangements and call it finished. Sunwoo was going at a pretty good pace; he finished writing the lyrics for almost all of Chanhee’s parts and had to do some final edits on his rap.

“Hmm, I don’t know. I guess you could say it was just like any trainee experience: difficult.” You hum as you take a sip of banana milk and stare out the window.

“There were the unhealthy diets, the long hours of practice, and the scolding. God, the scolding from the company was too much that I contemplated leaving.”

“But you didn’t leave.”

Sunwoo sighs and says, “Yeah, I didn’t. Yet, there were numerous times when I wondered if all the shit I was going through would be worth it, you know? Is all the pain and suffering I’m going through right now that worth it for a debut with a group I wasn’t sure would be a success?”

You understood every word that Sunwoo was saying at that moment. The way he phrased his thoughts was exactly your thoughts back then. Despite you sharing the same sentiments with Sunwoo, you chose to not speak of the past you kept hidden.

“I see. But you’re happy now, right? Happy with The Boyz?” You decide to ask as you finally look at him.

“I couldn’t imagine my life without them. My beginning was with them and they will be my ending as well,” Sunwoo admits with a small smile on his face as he looks back at you.

During that moment, you lay your hand on his shoulder and say, “Sunwoo, I am happy that despite everything, you persevered through it all. I am so glad that you made your debut with a group that loves and cares for you. They are so lucky to have someone like you.”

Sunwoo’s eyes widen at your words, clearly not expecting to hear that. Before you could take your hand off his shoulder, he grabs it and holds your hand in his.

“Yeah… I’m so glad to have met you.” He looks out the window. “You know, you really are the nation’s sweetheart in every aspect I’ve gotten to know. The world is so lucky to have you.”

His hushed words have you flustered; it seems harder to not like him when he continues to say shit like that. As his smile followed after those words, you knew you were screwed when you felt your heart beat out of your chest. So when he said the words “C’mon, I’ll take the bus with you going home. It’s too late for you to go home all by yourself,” you knew that it was impossible to not like a guy like Sunwoo.

“He OFFERED?!”

“Soeun! Quiet down!” You exclaim as you pat your face dry with a towel.

“Sorry, I was just surprised. Sunwoo is an actual decent guy,” Soeun says as she leans on your doorframe.

“Well, he is a really good guy. He has a heart of gold.”

As you say those words while you do your morning skincare routine, you notice Soeun’s expression through the mirror morph into that all-knowing smile you have learned to hate.

“God, I can say that and not pursue him. Let me be,” You say as you roll your eyes.

“I’m just saying that with all the stories you’ve told me, it seems that he likes you too.”

You laugh at her statement and continue on with your skincare routine.

“If you’re worried about dating bans, you don’t have one. Neither does Sunwoo, I’ve asked Jihoon.”

“SOEUN!”

“What?! I just thought to bring it up in case you didn’t know,” Soeun says with a small smile as she scrolls through some documents on her iPad.

You sigh as you continue with your skincare routine, a mind full of last night's events. Nothing much happened if you were to be honest. You are not sure why Soeun was making it a big deal because it seemed like a basic act of decency that anyone could perform. And yet, you were unsure why your heart would flutter when you remembered it.

“I don’t know, it’s just… weird for me. I mean, I did meet him recently.”

“Yeah, but you’ve spent a good chunk of time with Sunwoo. I never held it against you when you developed this crush on him, and I think it’s healthy! I mean, we’ve spent so many years together, and I like seeing you happy.”

Soeun’s words should have brought comfort to you, but doubt took over. You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at yourself in the mirror.

“Yeah, but work comes first.”

“But–”

“Nope, I don’t want to hear anything from you,” You silence Soeun, making her frown. The work you did was more important than anything, even more than a stupid little crush you developed for a colleague. I mean, it would remain a crush, right?

Once you finished getting ready for the morning, your phone buzzed. As you grabbed onto it, you were surprised to see a text from Sunwoo.

zzoguri 🦝: hey Y/N! i was wondering if you were up to join me for this little party

y/n: sunwoo what happened to only meeting up for work? WHAHASGDH

zzoguri 🦝: okay but we need to have some breaks you know! we deserve it after all the progress we’ve made

y/n: do you not remember that we have a deadline to meet which is only 3 days from now

y/n: plus the times we aren’t together are breaks!

zzoguri 🦝: oh cmon y/n :( if you don’t want to hang that’s fine.

You furrow your eyes as you were unsure to respond.

“Why the frown?” Soeun asks, which makes you sigh and show your conversation to her. As she reads the chat, you notice how her expression morphs into disappointment.

“Y/N, you are on a different level of being dense.”

“What?! Why?”

“He’s asking you on a date!” She says which makes you frown even more.

“Asking me out to a party is not a date. What are you on?”

“Well, maybe not on a date date, but he’s finding opportunities to spend more time with you outside of the typical meetings or work hours.” She says as she shakes her head and goes back to her iPad.

You pout as you look back at your conversation. If Sunwoo thought this was a date (which you highly doubt), he needs to step up in his game.

“I’m not saying you should take his offer, but he just wants to spend more time with you, as a friend or maybe even more,” Soeun points out, which has you pondering even harder on how to respond. Once you reached a decision, you let out a sigh and type away

y/n: kim sunwoo, i enjoy spending time with you if you’re worried about that

y/n: send me the details and i’ll make sure to attend

zzoguri 🦝: wow THE y/n enjoys spending time with me. i am honored.

y/n: don’t get ahead of yourself

zzoguri 🦝: trust me, i’m only acting like this because i’m lucky to have you 😋

It sucks that you felt yourself smile and your cheeks warm at the message.

Sunwoo did not tell you much about the party, so you wore a smart casual outfit as a safety option. When you asked about the address, he only answered with an “I’ll be picking you up.” You were seated by the kitchen island as you continued to scroll through Twitter.

The praise your recent work got for Wheein’s album was a sight you loved, and you hoped for more collaborations with the soloist. On the charts, your work was doing well alongside the title track. After all the countless nights spent working on tracks, you always find yourself at ease after seeing how the public received them.

The doorbell rings, and you are reminded that you were waiting for Sunwoo. You stood up from your seat and swung the door open, surprised to be greeted by the man you were waiting for who was dressed up from his usual hoodie. As he saw you, not a single sound left him; he was stuck looking at you up and down.

“Uh, Sunwoo?” You ask to break the weird silence that seemed to engulf you two.

“Oh, sorry. I was just—you look wonderful.”

You smile to cover up the fact you were blushing, and joke, “You don’t think I look good the other times we’ve met?”

“Ah, that’s not what I mean. You look great every day, but today… you just look, even more beautiful right now.”

You did not expect Sunwoo to say that which has you more flustered than ever. It was impossible that Sunwoo did not know what he was doing to you; he should definitely know now.

“C’mon, we’ve got a party to attend,” He says with a smile as he grabs your hand.

As he got into the car with you, you noticed that it was Jihoon in the driver’s seat. To be honest, you were not sure why you were nervous about this whole thing. Maybe it felt weird to hold hands with Jihoon around; it also did not help to know Sunwoo had no dating ban.

With that, your hands started to get clammy, and you were about to let go of his hand. Yet, he never seemed to be bothered by your sweaty hands. Despite what you thought of the Pacific Ocean forming in your hands, he continued to hold it with the same grip. As he looked out the window to admire the city lights, you were left to admire the boy beside you.

The ride to the party did not take long. In fact, the location of it felt quite near IST Entertainment. The party took place in a building right beside the Japanese restaurant you and Sunwoo started to frequent after that one lunch. You could not help it; the sushi is to die for.

When the two of you entered the building, it was full of function rooms that could hold around a hundred to two hundred individuals. You expected Sunwoo to let go of your hand the moment you two exited the car, but he never did.

Eventually, you two arrived in front of a door. Before he could open it, you hold him back. He looks back at you with wide eyes that were laced with worry.

“Hey, are you okay?” You bite your lip as you felt your limbs fill with anxiety.

“I… I don’t know. Who are the people in there? I’m not the greatest in social gatherings so I might end up clinging onto you. Is that okay? I mean–”

Before you could continue on a tangent, Sunwoo lets go of your hand and grabs onto your face to gain your attention (which he successfully did). The warmth of his hands on your cheeks; the eye contact he held; everything about him had the ability to make you shut up and admire him like he is the only person on this earth. And that god-forsaken smile started to creep onto his lips—you were screwed.

“It’ll be alright. Cling onto me for as long as you want, I’ll make sure to keep you company. Don’t forget, I did invite you which makes me obligated to take care of you.” Before you could protest, he cuts you off.

“Sorry, don’t think I’m keeping you company as a task. I enjoy spending time with you too, and I want to spend whatever second I have left with you,” He says, which has your knees weak.

If Sunwoo did not know the power of his words, you would have smacked him then and there. There is no way the guy right in front of you is saying all this without knowing the impact these words would have on anyone. Maybe he was just as dense as Soeun thinks you are, and you were betting on it.

He eventually lets go of your face and grabs onto your hand once more. With that, he looks back to the door and swings it open. The two of you were greeted by strobe lights and BIBI’s “The Weekend” as you entered the function room.

If you had to guess, the party seemed to have at least fifty individuals (possibly a mix of idols and staff) who looked like they were having the time of their lives. As you were taking in your surroundings, you noticed idols such as Kim Yerim of Red Velvet and Mark Lee of NCT chatting with other idols you recognized.

The party was full of big shots, and that terrified you. Your nerves were starting to get to you that Sunwoo could notice. With that, you found yourself being brought in front of him so that he could hold onto your shoulders as you two walked.

“If you want to leave already, just let me know, okay?” He whispers into your ear as you continue to walk to wherever he is leading you to.

If people did not notice you were here, people definitely noticed now considering how close you and Sunwoo were. Before you could tell Sunwoo that others were staring, you two eventually arrived at a table occupied by ten other guys you knew from research—you can only assume it is the rest of his group.

“Guess who finally showed up!” Juyeon pointed out which has the rest of the group looking at you two.

“I know, I know. I had to pick up Y/N from their place.” Sunwoo says as he high-fives some of them.

“Oh my god, Y/N, please do take a seat,” Changmin says as he grabs onto the chair beside him. You give him a small smile and take a seat with Sunwoo doing the same beside you.

“I think I should introduce you to–”

“Oh, you don’t have to! I know who everyone is,” You cut Sunwoo off which has the rest of the group in shock.

“The Y/N knows us?! Korea’s sweetheart?!” Eric exclaims which has you giggling.

“Of course! Why would I agree to produce a track for Chanhee and Sunwoo if I didn’t know your group? What you guys put out is amazing!” The group expresses their gratitude after your compliment.

“I mean, the same goes for you! I would be embarrassed to admit this, but you were my bias when 1CON was still together,” Changmin says which has you laughing.

“Oh please, I don’t take compliments well,” You say as you try to shrug it off.

“I mean, Sunwoo was probably worse! He would–”

“Aish, shut up Haknyeon! Y/N doesn’t have to know,” Sunwoo attempts to cut Haknyeon off before he could spill anything.

“What? Now I wanna know!”

“Ah, Y/N! Don’t listen to him!” Sunwoo exclaims which makes you laugh at him.

“Sunwoo, I think Haknyeon has something very important to share with me. You wouldn’t want to stop us from being friends, would you?” When he gives you a pout, all you could do is giggle and pat his knee.

As the others seemed invested in their own conversations, Haknyeon says, “Well, Sunwoo had you as his bias even before you debuted in 1CON.” You gasp as you look at the guy moping beside you and back to Haknyeon.

“It was funny because he so badly wanted to meet you before but your group and The Boyz never had their schedules line up when it came to promotions. I remember when Changmin said he had you as his bias; the reaction on Sunwoo’s face is so memorable.” With that, you smile at Sunwoo who was busy sulking.

“Sunwoo, why didn’t you tell me this?” You ask which has him looking back at you.

“I didn’t think it was relevant to mention,” He mutters.

“You were just shy about it!” You exclaim as you could not stop yourself from smiling at the shy boy in front of you.

“Ah, whatever! New topic, please! Where’s Soobin and Yeonjun?”

“Uh, they were just here. However, Y/N! I forgot to mention that–” Before Haknyeon could finish his sentence, you were interrupted by your phone buzzing in your bag. As you grab it, you see a text message from Soeun.

ssongie 🐧: hey, let me know when you get back home! i’ll seriously scold jihoon if sunwoo doesn’t bring you back home.

ssongie 🐧: and i know you hate huge social gatherings so don’t hesitate to call me

ssongie 🐧: actually just call me when you're there so that i know you’re safe please <3

You giggle at Soeun’s messages and decide to get up from your seat.

“I just have to call Soeun,” You explain to Sunwoo and Haknyeon and excuse yourself from the table to go to the washroom. As you were busy typing out a response, you accidentally bump into someone.

“Oh my god, I’m so–”

“Y/N? I did not expect you to be here!” The voice belonged to someone you last wished to bump into, especially at a gathering full of idols. As you look up, you see the face of your ex-peer who constantly overshadowed you from pre-debut until disbandment.

Jiyoon—the one person you hoped to avoid encountering at any given moment, especially at IST Entertainment—just had to bump into you here. You were shocked by how the universe works. How could they make you meet her here, out of all the places too?

Before you could say anything, Jiyoon wrapped her arms around your figure. The sudden action did not help how surprised you were by the whole situation.

“Y/N, it’s been a while!” She exclaims once she lets go, clearly not noticing how you did not hug her back.

“I–we saw each other recently,” You say, which makes her laugh.

“Oh yeah! But I couldn’t stay for long, remember? I had to leave the moment you got there!” Jiyoon smiled at you which made you feel awkward.

The thing is Jiyoon never intentionally did anything bad to you. In fact, your old company was to blame for cultivating this competitive environment between you two. Yet, you were sure Jiyoon saw you as a competitor as well despite the façade she put on.

“Uh, yeah. What a bummer!” If she did not notice how awkward you feel about this encounter, she should definitely notice now.

You just wanted to get out of this horrible situation. The need to just crawl under your covers to isolate yourself from your memories and reality is so strong. It did not help that people were observing the interaction between you two. I mean, who would not want to see two of Korea’s sweethearts interact once more? Yet, you knew people were curious about what would go down between you two.

“How’s producing going for you? I was shocked to hear you didn’t debut with Ryujin and Chaeryeong in ITZY! Was it because you didn’t make it to the final line-up?” You frowned at her.

“Producing is amazing because I enjoy what I do now. And no, I just decided to leave JYP.” Your response was laced with a touch of passive aggressiveness as you were uncomfortable with her question.

“Oh, what a shame. I just thought that you would have fit ITZY, but I guess JYP wouldn’t accept any of your tracks for their albums, would they?”

See, that is the problem with Jiyoon; a fake ass bitch who knew how to press your buttons. If everyone else knew how much of a bitch she was, maybe you would not have to struggle being under fire for choosing to be a producer rather than an idol.

Before you could say anything, you felt someone’s arm wrap around your shoulders.

“Hi, Jiyoon! Sorry to interrupt but Y/N and I have somewhere to be,” Sunwoo intervenes as he gives a small smile to Jiyoon.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you two came together.” Jiyoon gives a smile—the same one you grew to hate over the years. “Well, I hope to see you again, Y/N.”

Once Jiyoon finally leaves, you do not take another second to shrug Sunwoo’s arm off and make your way out of the function room. As Sunwoo follows you out, the two of you continue to walk back to the car in silence. Jihoon notices you two and starts up the car.

The moment you two get in, not a single word is exchanged throughout the whole ride. You were sure Sunwoo was confused about your reaction but maybe he did not want to ask you about it until you were ready.

What you do not expect is to feel his hand rest on top of yours. There is something that his touch does to bring you comfort. If you could unravel the reason for this, you would take it in a heartbeat. But for now, all you can do is let yourself feel at ease.

Once you were brought back to your home, Sunwoo walked you back to the door. Before you decided to enter your home, you take a look at Sunwoo who looked worried. With that, you gave him an apologetic smile and say, “I’m sorry about tonight.”

“Hey, don’t even worry about it,” Sunwoo starts off. “It’s none of my business, but just know I’m here for you.”

You cannot help but smile at him. For a moment, you do not know what to say. Yet, something possess you. Without thinking, you felt your face closer to his. As his eyes widen at the distance between you two, you cannot help but smile.

With your head leaning to the side, you felt your lips get closer to his cheek until there was no distance left. It was a short kiss to begin with, and not much thought was put into the action. The moment you pulled away, you are still met with Sunwoo’s shocked expression.

You chose to not say anything. All you did was smile and walk away. Once you entered your home, you could not help but focus on the memories you had with Jiyoon in them (and the peck you gave Sunwoo).

Having to face Sunwoo the next day was a task you were not ready to take on. As you look back at the events that transpired last night, you were unsure of how to go back to normal without acknowledging your encounter with Jiyoon (and the k*ss on the cheek you gave out of impulse).

You wish you knew what was going through your mind that made you k*ss him. Everything felt like a blur yet crystal clear. Being driven by impulse and having no second thoughts had you placed in bad situations.

Thankfully, Sunwoo did not make any comment about last night the moment you entered the studio. In fact, the only thing you two talked about was about the track. He probably did not want to put you in an awkward position, or maybe he felt awkward himself. Either way, the two of you continued to work by yourselves.

“Why aren’t you signed with a company?” Sunwoo asks the golden question that stops you from working.

You were not sure why the sudden question but all signs have to point to what Jiyoon said last night (or what she probably told The Boyz considering they are under the same company).

“You don’t have to answer–”

“Thank you, I won’t,” You say to end the conversation.

“I’m sorry if–”

“Sunwoo,” You interrupt before he could continue.

As you look away from the computer to look at him, you say, “Just continue working.” Your tone was laced with malice as you throw a glare at him. With that, Sunwoo chose to shut up and continue writing out his rap while you tried to finish the song.

The more you two continued on with work, the more you felt guilt piling in your stomach. Sunwoo was only asking a question and you treated him with such hostility. As you felt your heart get eaten away, you wondered how you could apologize to him.

Around 1 AM, it was safe to say that you were done with the base track. Thankfully, it also seemed that Sunwoo was done with the lyrics of his raps and Chanhee’s verses.

“Thank god! All we have to do is record the demo tomorrow and we’re good to go,” You say as you save the files into your USB.

Once you shut the computer down and stood up, you look back to see Sunwoo still seated on the couch. You let out a sigh as you look down at the USB in your hands.

“I’m sorry about earlier, and last night.” When you look back up at him, he had his eyes trained on you. You took a moment to think about how to approach the situation considering you fucked up.

“Do you… do you wanna grab something with me at the convenience store? Consider it an apology or an opportunity for me to explain,” You offer with a small smile.

With that, Sunwoo nods and stands up from his seat. Thank god Sunwoo is willing to hear you out.

Sunwoo took this opportunity to buy out the whole convenience store. As you two exit to take a seat in the outdoor area, his arms seemed to carry an abundance of snacks while you held onto strawberry milk and potato chips. Once the two of you got settled, you both dug into your snacks in comfortable silence.

“I’ll, uhm, explain,” You start off as you look down at your drink.

“You don’t have to if you aren’t ready to share that part with me,” Sunwoo reassures you before you could continue.

“I know, but… I trust you.” Both you and him were shocked at your words. “I–I was just thrown off a while ago because only a few people know that part of my life.”

The moment you look back up to Sunwoo, his doe eyes were full of concern. He knows that it is a sensitive topic if you snapped a while ago—and it is. Usually, you were not the type to snap at people, but this topic was a touchy issue.

“Well, you know that I used to be under JYP even before I debuted in 1CON.” Sunwoo nods. “I obviously had plans to be part of a girl group, which was ITZY if you didn’t overhear my conversation with Jiyoon. To be honest, the line-up for ITZY was tight considering that ten trainees were competing for it, including me,” You speak as you reveal the secrets of your past.

“The thing is that I was technically going to make it in the final line-up even before 1CON. So, when Soeun—who was also a staff member of JYP Entertainment—revealed that Ryujin, Chaeryeong, and I were going to audition for Produce 101, it shocked all of us. I mean, the three of us seemed like we were going to debut in ITZY, so why did we have to go through that shitty survival show?”

“Well, when Ryujin, Chaeryeong, and I made it into the final line-up, ITZY’s debut was pushed back as well. The time I spent with 1CON is something I would carry with me throughout this lifetime, but I can’t deny that the company that oversaw us was terrible.” You look down at your banana milk.

“Even after being in the final line-up for 1CON, there was this competitive nature that made it impossible for me to feel at ease. Of course, I can’t speak for everyone because most of us got along. However, I guess the most evident rivalry was between Jiyoon and I.” As you look at Sunwoo once more, he was only listening to what you had to say. There were no interruptions on his end, and that made you grateful.

“I mean, you’ve watched Produce 101, and I’m guessing you followed the news on my group. I’m sure most media outlets would focus on the rivalry between me and Jiyoon as fans would try to defend our relationship. As much as people wanted to believe that we were best friends, we really weren’t.”

“It also didn’t help that our company, Stone Entertainment, seemed to favor her over me. I swear, I respect her as a producer since we were the only people in the group who dabbled into that. Yet, it was always hard to be a producer for 1CON when your company denied your works or would completely rearrange it without giving you credit.”

“They did WHAT?!” Sunwoo exclaims for the first time since you opened up about this topic which has you giggling.

“Yeah, it was terrible. Stone Entertainment never touched Jiyoon’s works. If they did though, they always made sure to give her credit. The rivalry I had with Jiyoon was something I knew I lost the moment they took my name out of the credits for one of the tracks I produced for the group.” You sigh. “Of course, I couldn’t protest because I would be risking my position in 1CON. Along with that, JYP would have been pissed if I spoke up.”

“So yeah, I had to live under the shadow of Jiyoon. I thought that things would go better for me once I came back under the care of JYP, but I was mistaken. There was no creative freedom with the tracks I planned to produce for the group. In fact, it felt like I was being used by the company. And despite all the countless producers JYP had contact with, they made sure to use me somehow.”

“So, imagine this: I was being starved, overworked, and overwhelmed by JYP. The fact that I couldn’t do what I love without being constantly criticized took an absolute toll on me. What I went through with Stone Entertainment was traumatic in some way, to be honest. While I was trying to get over that, I had to deal with JYP.”

“In the end, I made the decision to leave, having to pay off any expenses that they covered. Soeun followed me, and it’s a burden I carry with me. I can’t pay her much despite all the work she’s done for me. Yet, she stuck with me, and I’m happy she’s taking the decision to work with IST.”

The silence that engulfs you two should be deafening, but it was calming for you. Vocalizing what you went through felt like a weight off your chest. Somehow, saying all of it made you realize just how much you had to go through to be where you are now.

Once you looked up, you were greeted by Sunwoo��s eyes which were full of sorrow.

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” He whispers which has you shaking your head.

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for. In fact, the people who owe me an apology are JYP and Stone Entertainment,” You say with a laugh, looking at the starry sky.

“That’s why when netizens talk about how I’m a wasted opportunity or question what my future plans are, I don’t pay attention to them. What I went through at those two companies was enough to know how I’d be treated in the industry.” You sigh. “But I love music at the end of it all—I love the music I worked hard on.”

As you admired the sea of stars that seemed to surround you two, Sunwoo grabbed your hand from across the table. The moment you look back at him, he does not say anything. Instead, he continues to rub his thumb on your hand, drawing patterns as you two sit in what you shared.

You were over what happened then; you did not cry like you used to. Yet, there is something so comforting about Sunwoo’s hand caressing yours that says, “You can cry if you want to.” And cry you did.

The tears slowly streamed down your face, and you realized just how vulnerable you were around the man you supposedly just met a few days ago. Before you could say anything, you see Sunwoo give you a smile of sympathy as he continues to hold your hand that starts to shake.

Once the sobs started to pour out, you could not look at him anymore. Your body started to bend forward as you felt your heart start to ache at the memory. Somehow, you felt your body be brought towards the warm figure who was once seated across you. As Sunwoo let you cry into his chest, his arms stayed wrapped around your figure as he rubbed circles on your back.

You were never the person who could easily be vulnerable around others. Yet, it was so easy to be that way with Sunwoo. Despite the small period of time getting to know him, he did not seem to judge you as tears and snot continued to drip. That was the moment you realized that Sunwoo is everything good in this world.

Having to meet Sunwoo the next day to record the final track was probably the most nerve-wracking experience yet. In the past two days, you managed to k*ss him on the cheek (god, you hate thinking about it that you cannot even say it) and also sob your eyes out to the point his hoodie was soaked. You are not sure how you can embarrass yourself even more.

When you entered the recording studio, the universe seemed to save your ass since you saw Chanhee and Sunwoo together. Thankfully, there would be no opportunity to spend some time alone with him (at least for now).

“Ah, Y/N! It’s so nice to see you again,” Chanhee exclaims as he grabs your hand to shake it.

“It’s nice to see you too, Chanhee! Has Sunwoo shown you the lyrics and melody?”

“Yes, he did. I was practicing all night, so I’m hoping you’ll be satisfied later.” You shake your head with a smile on your face. The moment your eyes land on Sunwoo, you see his eyes on you. Still nervous from yesterday, you look back at Chanhee to get rid of the fact that Sunwoo was staring at you.

“No, this is your track. Whatever you do should live up to your standards. I’m sure whatever you do will blow my mind anyway,” You say letting go of his hand.

Once you take a seat in front of the mixing console, you say, “Chanhee, you can step into the recording booth first so we can record your parts. Sunwoo seems to have his rap under control, so let’s work hard to do the bigger tasks.”

The whole process of having Chanhee and Sunwoo record their parts seemed to pass by quickly. In fact, you managed to only spend two and a half hours just recording their parts since they wanted to experiment and figure out which went best.

What followed after was for you to combine their vocals with the track. It did not take much, which surprised you. Usually, you would struggle with this segment of the process. Yet, it helped to have Sunwoo and Chanhee in the room as they talked about whatever.

As you were immersed in cleaning up the final track, you never noticed how Sunwoo was preoccupied with admiring you. Although Chanhee caught sight of it, he continued to talk to the wall to not blow his best friend’s cover.

What you do not catch is one boy whispering to the other about admitting his feelings for you after everything.

On the next day, you were not as nervous as you expected to be (maybe it is because Chanhee and Sunwoo enjoyed the final product). You were seated with the two across from Jihoon, Soeun, and the CEO of IST Entertainment, Mr. Yoon, to present the final track.

“Thank you again for meeting with us today and accepting the offer to produce the track for Chanhee and Sunwoo,” Mr. Yoon says with a smile.

“Of course, it is a pleasure to be given this opportunity,” You say as you bow your head.

“Can you give us a brief explanation of what you have prepared for us?”

With that, you nod and give Chanhee and Sunwoo to explain the meaning behind the song.

“Mr. Yoon, the track we have prepared with Y/N is entitled “Don’t,” which is a love story with a twist. It’s a story between two people who started off casually flirting but slowly realize that they have feelings for each other,” Chanhee starts off.

“The story of this song is that the two possible lovers don’t want to admit anything and would like to stay away from alcohol in fear that they might confess under the influence,” Sunwoo continues, allowing you to say the last segment of the explanation.

“The track is R&B with a Soul feel. Sunwoo is responsible for creating the meaning behind this track, and I just worked with his idea. We hope you enjoy what we have to offer,” You finish off the explanation and signal Soeun to play the track for Mr. Yoon.

As the track played, you noticed Soeun, Jihoon, and Mr. Yoon going along with the music. In fact, it looked like they were enjoying it. As you were waiting for the track to end, you felt someone’s hand grab onto yours from under the table. When you look down, you notice that it was Sunwoo’s hand that grabbed yours. The moment you look at Sunwoo who is seated beside you, he does not spare you a glance but continues to hold your hand that rests on your lap.

You two have not talked about the k*ss on the cheek or the sob moment you had back at the convenience store. In fact, you have not talked about how he held your hand in the car or how he held your face to calm you down. Never once did you two mention the flirtatious comments you two would throw at each other.

So, what happens once the track gets approved? Will these all stop once you and Sunwoo do not have to work together anymore? What will happen to the relationship between you two?

The moment the track reaches its end, you are snapped back to reality. Once you look back at Mr. Yoon, you see him nodding with a small smile. He seemed to look satisfied with the final output.

“Y/N, I really enjoy what you put for us today. Your specialty is really with R&B tracks considering the artists you’ve produced for.” You were not sure whether that was a compliment or not since you produced tracks of different genres.

“Here at IST, we really appreciate what you put in for us. We’ll make sure to make good use of this demo.” You started to frown.

“I’m sorry, demo?” You ask, clarifying what you just heard.

“Yes, demo,” Mr. Yoon answers, leaving you taken back.

“Demo? Mr. Yoon, we agreed on Y/N producing the final track. This is not a demo,” Soeun says as she shared the same confusion you had. Mr. Yoon snaps his fingers, signaling for Jihoon to respond.

“Uhm, we sent an email a few days ago to Y/N’s email to inform them of the changes in the contract. We assumed that you two got the memo despite getting no response.” With that, you immediately stand up from your seat, Sunwoo’s hand not holding yours anymore.

“Even if, you should have clarified with me regarding this matter. I mean, we saw each other recently. Why did you not bother to ask me if I received your email?” You ask in disbelief as you set your hands on the table.

“If you were signed with a company, then you wouldn’t have to bother with fixing your habit of reading emails,” Mr. Yoon comments, which makes you scoff.

“Ah, so it’s like that then. The nerve of this company to comment on how I am an independent producer is disrespectful. Mr. Yoon, I’ll have you know that I signed that contract under the impression it would be the final track. I cannot accept giving you this as a demo knowing my work would be taken advantage of.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but we are only willing to accept it as a demo.” You cross your arms as you shake your head in disbelief.

“Mr. Yoon, don’t think this is the first time people have attempted to screw me over. I’ll have you know that I’ve been in this industry longer than your groups. Chanhee and Sunwoo can keep their lyrics while I keep my track. This agreement is over,” You say as you step away from the table, storming off the room to leave Soeun to deal with the rest.

As you made your way out of the building, you began to walk on the sidewalk to think about what just happened. Yet, you heard someone calling your name from behind. As you let out a sigh, you stood still in place and feel Sunwoo’s hand grab onto your shoulder.

“What now, Sunwoo?”

“I’m sorry about–”

“Sunwoo, you don’t need to apologize for anything. It’s your CEO and manager that need to apologize for the fact that they modified the contract without my knowledge, attempted to take advantage of my work to call it their own, and insulted me as an independent artist and producer,” You say as you were shocked with how things turned out.

Clearly, you were not in the right headspace to continue talking about what just happened. In fact, you were pissed with the events that transpired a while ago. You signed up to produce the final track with possible minimal changes, not a fucking demo.

“Y/N, will you hear me out?” Sunwoo asks which makes you let out a sigh.

“Yes, sorry. Please, say what you need to say,” You say, hoping he would understand what you felt considering how you opened up to him two days ago.

“I think you should still agree to it.”

Upon hearing those words, your mouth opens in shock. The one person you trusted to understand what you felt about this issue seemed to be turning their back on you. Considering that Sunwoo knew what you went through, you could not believe what he was asking you to do.

“I’m sorry?”

“It’ll still be a good opportunity! I’ll make sure they credit you for it, and I’ll even express my gratitude to ensure that people know you worked on this.” You let out a chuckle of disbelief as you shake off his hand that was once resting on your shoulder (and held your hand countless times).

“Kim Sunwoo, I expected better from you.” Before he could say anything, you cut him off.

“No, you don’t get to speak just yet. Sunwoo, you are an artist in this industry. You know how companies treat demos, and how there are opportunities for artists like me to get fucked over. Your company is not that different from others; they only care for profit as artists continue to struggle in this fucked up industry.”

“Sunwoo, I can’t believe that after everything I told you a few days ago, you dare to ask me something so difficult. I would have thought that out of all the people you would be the one who would understand, but clearly, you are no different from the companies who took advantage of me.”

You stand there for a few seconds in hopes to hear Sunwoo argue that he is not like the people who took advantage of you. In fact, you were waiting for him to say he understood and that he would like to apologize. But when no words came out of his mouth, that is when you knew that you were played with.

“Yeah, fuck you, Sunwoo. Don’t bother contacting me again.” With that, you stormed off and left him to sit in with what you said. You did not like to admit it but you were sure you felt tears fall as you continued to make your way back home on foot.

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