#itv the last weekend

[mywingsareonwheels]

Shaun Evans as Ian in The Last Weekend (2012). Screenshots by me. Unedited.

[ID: two similar shots of Shaun Evans as Ian in The Last Weekend. He's a light-skinned man, 32 at the time (though his character is older), with freckles, dark red-brown floppy hair, a short scruffy beard. He's wearing a hoodie. He's standing on a sandy beach, the sea to his right/our left, looking at the camera. The colours are very washed-out and blue-tinted (an effect in the show). In both screenshots Shaun has a faint trace of tears in his eyes and a furrow between his brows. He's speaking seriously at the camera in the first; looking pained in the second.]

[zaiinab]

the way the harry broke his own record as the highest selling artist in scotland last week bc apparently the last ppl to do that was 1d????

[finelinevogue]

pancakes for two

summary - seeing your niece for the first time

word count - ~1k

pairing - husband!harry x reader

You made pancakes for breakfast on a Saturday.

It was a routine at this point and would be rude not to have pancakes after your morning jog with Harry.

Harry tended to make himself banana pancakes, because he hated not having some fruit in there somehow, but you were all for the nutella and other loaded toppings.

You had both just finished your pancakes, dirty plates on the coffee table in front of you and cups of tea to hand as you watched ‘This Morning’ on ITV.

Even after having been on a run and eaten pancakes, your day was about to get so much better.

“Remind me that I need to pick up more loo roll the next time I go to the shops.” You said to Harry.

“Thought we bought loads?”

His free hand rested on your ankle from where your legs were stretched out on his lap.

“Yeah, but we gave a lot to Gem remember?”

“Oh shit, yes. We can go later if you want? I’ll take you?” He offered.

“The last thing I want to do is leave the house on the one day where you’re not busy preparing for baby number 4.” You laughed, taking a sip of your Yorkshire Gold tea.

“Baby number 4?” It was Harry’s turn to chuckle.

“Album? Baby? Same thing. They’re all your children.”

He tapped your ankle playfully.

Harry had been working so hard on planning for the next phase of his career and you were so happy to see him get excited and creative again.

Music is where he thrived and it was a joy to watch him work. However it did mean he was gone more than you wanted him to be, so quiet weekends like this were absolutely necessary.

Harry missed you just as much and he was constantly lucky that it was you waiting for him at home.

He’d been working so hard that he hadn’t even had a moment to see his sister since she gave birth.

It was only a week ago, but Gemma was still recovering and requested that the three of them just had some quiet time to let the new reality to settle in.

Now, Harry was restless to see his niece.

You scrolled through your phone when it suddenly made a Ring doorbell noise.

“Yes! I bet that’s my Waterstones parcel.” You said excitedly, sitting up and setting your tea on the coffee table.

“Another one?”

You hit Harry’s thigh playfully, “Shut up!” Although he did have a valid point.

You waited for the doorbell to ring, before jumping up and making your way to the front. You made a note to shout at Harry for - yet again - leaving his coat on the banister and not put back on coat rack.

You unlocked and opened the door, expecting the delivery guy but were met with Gemma, Michal and baby instead.

“Oh my God!” You shouted, cupping your hands over your mouth in shock.

“Surprise!” Gemma laughed, baby carrier on Michal’s arm and baby bags too.

You started tearing up then, emotional over how beautiful Gemma was after recently giving birth. She was glowing and looked incredible. They both looked so happy too.

“Y/N/N?” Harry called your nickname.

He rounded the corner only to stop short.

“Look who showed up.” You allowed the tears to drop down your face.

“Hey, bro.” Gemma smiled.

“Hi, H!” Michal smiled at Gemma’s smile.

Harry, ever the emotional man, broke down in little sobs then. He pouted when he cried and probably had the same thoughts as you initially did.

“Come in. Come on.” You ushered them in.

You gave Gemma a big hug first, squeezing her but not too tight, and kissed her cheeks.

Then you hugged Michal, careful to avoid all his extra baggage.

“How are you?” You asked Michal, as Gemma went over to speak and probably console Harry.

“Tired, but never been happier.” He genuinely smiled.

“Can I take anything from you?”

“No, I’m just going to dump them here if that’s okay?” He motioned to the space in the hall.

“Of course, go ahead.”

“You want a tea? Coffee?” You offered.

“Coffee, please. No sugar. Gem will probably just have water.”

You nodded and walked through the hallway and into the kitchen. Gemma and Harry were still hugging, softly talking to one another. You left them to it, not wanting to disrupt the siblings reunion.

You wiped your own tears with your sweater, before pottering around the kitchen.

“So let me see my niece then!” You demanded as Michal placed the carrier on the kitchen island.

He opened the visor and you had to choke back a sob as you saw how small your new niece was - your new best friend.

“Oh my God.” You whispered.

“I know. I keep having the same reaction, even now.” Michal chuckled.

Gemma and Harry walked in a few seconds later - Harry with red eyes and Gemma smiling like a madwoman.

You leaned forwards and brushed your finger over your nieces tiny bunched fist. Her skin was so soft and she didn’t budge at all with the tap from you.

“She’s beautiful, guys.” You whispered.

“She really is.” Gemma agreed.

“She’s a Styles if I ever saw one. No offence Michal.”

“None taken.” Michal genuinely didn’t seem offended.

You stepped back to let Harry have a gaze over his new niece, wrapped in her blankets and knitted bonnets. There were so many blankets you wondered whether she was cooking underneath them all!

It wasn’t your turn to know anything about kids or parenting though, yet, so you weren’t going to question anything.

Harry approached his niece and softly caressed over her small hand and over her quite chubby cheeks.

You cupped a hand over your mouth as you teared up from watching Harry interact with a baby.

“It’s too much!” You cried, laughing like an idiot.

Gemma and Michal watched you with soft expressions.

Harry moved towards you then, “Hey. What’s up?” He asked, pulling you in for a big hug. The best hugs.

“I think i’ve got a heavy case of baby fever right now.”

Harry pulled you away a bit to read your face, “You do?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay.” He smiled.

“Okay, what?” You stepped back.

“Let’s try. For a baby, I mean.”

“Really?” You eyes filled with tears. “You mean it?”

“A baby with you? It would make all those birthday and shooting star wishes come true.”

[scotianostra]

Happy Birthday to the actor Tony Curran born 13th December 1969 in Glasgow.

Tony took to acting while still in his teens, he recalls the days in the Scottish Youth Theatre with Gerard Butler. Young Anthony Curran went on to attend the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama before gaining notoriety with a prominent role on the BBC series This Life. He would go on to make a name for himself in movies with a sci-fi/fantasy bent, like The 13th Warrior, Blade II, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Beowulf, of his small screen credits, our old favourite Taggart returns after not appearing on Kenneth Cranham’s CV yesterday!

Curran has made a name for himself in over the Atlantic in a number of US shows which include, Numb3rs, Medium, 24, Sons of Anarchy and Elementary. His most notable appearances over here have been in the ITV series Ultimate Force, Dr Who, as Vincent van Gogh , and more recently in the E4/Netflix original series Crazyhead.

Tony appeared in the 2018 Netflix film Outlaw King about Robert the Bruce and the Wars of Scottish Independence, where he played the part of Aonghus Óg of Islay, ( Angus Macdonald) chief of Clann Domhnaill. Back over in the states he has recently been in Ray Donovan, which is a great series series and few episodes of the CBS show SEAL Team. He also turned up in the mini series, Your Honor, which also stars the excellent US actor Brian Cranston of Breaking Bad fame, it’s great hearing Scottish accents in US shows, don’t you think?

Tony is another guy I follow on twitter, the guy has a heart of gold, I remember he tweeted “Me and my lass woke up this morning temperatures dropping compelled to help our homeless, loaded up some blankets pillows clothes, sweaters jackets, I’m sure we all have stuff we can donate, it all helps.” He was then out on the streets handing them out to the homeless, Tony was involved in a charity weekender with all funds raised going to St Mary’s & St Alphonsus and the great community work they do. He has in the past played charity football matches in Glasgow.

In the past couple of years Tony has been playing Despero in the Super Hero series The Flash, Tony has also appeared in the US movie, Two Deaths of Henry Baker where he plays a town Sheriff, this year he appeared in the US crime series The Calling, the show has some good reviews on IMDB with a 7.1/10 rating, and in an episode of the US show For All Mankind

Last year Tony appeared in a homegrown project. The two part “series”, Mayflies is set in a Scotland and Manchester in the 80′s Martin Compston co-stars along with new Shetland star Ashley Jensen, it is on BBC1 on December 28th. The show is based on a novel by Scottish author Andrew O'Hagan's book of the same name. It tells the story of Jimmy (Compston) and Tully (Curran) who ignite an “unforgettable friendship” defined by music, films and their shared rebellious spirit in a small Scottish town in the 1980s. if you haven't seen it, please look it up, and keep the hankies close by.

In the past couple of years Tony has appeared in a couple of US series, an unexpected second season of Your Honor and Secret Invasion.

On fame Tony commented;

"I've been lucky. I don't for a minute take for granted the good fortune I have had. You don't like to get ideas above your station, especially a boy from the south side of Glasgow."

[invisibleicewands]

Michael Sheen says 'it fills my heart' in passionate message about Wales that will give you goosebumps

Michael Sheen has been reflecting on what it is he loves about Wales ahead of his debut as Aneurin Bevan in new stage drama Nye - and his passionate message is enough to give you goosebumps.

Speaking to WalesOnline ahead of the play’s Cardiff run, Sheen opened up about why he keeps coming back to Wales and indeed now lives here again, even though his work takes him all over the world. “It’s my home,” he says. “It's where my family are, where my friends are, where I grew up. It's the country whose history is closest to my heart, whose people I care about the most, the communities that I care about the most. It is what shaped me, informed me, and what continues to shape and form me.

“Aside from anything to do with the natural beauty of the country, the warmth of the people, the history of the communities, how we grew up here, the challenges that we've had in the past and that we still face and that have shaped who we are now and why we are the way we are now and what our aspirations are, all of those things. [Wales is] what fills my head and fills my heart.”

The Newport-born, Port Talbot raised actor is recognised for his ability to transform into his characters, notably real life people like former Prime Minister Tony Blair, broadcaster David Frost, and controversial football manager Brian Clough.

Sheen, 55, who has more recently played Chris Tarrant in ITV drama Quiz and the angel Aziraphale in Good Omens opposite David Tennant, is now looking forward to starring in the title role of Nye, a co-production between the Wales Millennium Centre and the National Theatre, which sees the actor portray the founder of the National Health Service.

Interestingly, Nye will be the first time that Sheen performs on stage in his home country. Despite his groundbreaking performance as Jesus Christ in National Theatre Wales' The Passion which was staged on location across Port Talbot during Easter weekend in 2011, the actor revealed he's never actually fronted a show at the Wales Millennium Centre in Cardiff.

“To be able to do this play and tell this story about this man on that stage is really exciting,” Sheen commented. “When we got there to start doing the tech and just stepped out onto the stage, it was really exciting. You could feel the whole company getting really excited and just looking out into that beautiful auditorium and just thinking about it being full of people coming to watch this play.

“The fact that we're telling this story, which is such a Welsh story about a Welsh legend, has been exciting from the very beginning. When we first started rehearsing, knowing that we'd be coming to Wales at the end of it, everyone was incredibly excited about that. To now actually be here and be just days away from starting the performance is quite thrilling.”

Sheen said that, perhaps for the first time in his career, he knew ‘everything’ about the man he was playing. A new play written by Tim Price, a synopsis for Nye reads: “Confronted with death, Nye's deepest memories lead him on a mind-bending journey back through his life; from childhood to mining underground, parliament and fights with Churchill in an epic Welsh fantasia.”

Sheen said of playing Bevan: “In the last 10 years I've come to really appreciate who [Aneurin Bevan] was and what he did and what he achieved. This was an opportunity to be able to put everything I knew and felt about him into a piece on stage.

“It’s a very particular challenge playing a real person who is very well known by the audience. That brings all kinds of unique challenges that you wouldn't normally get if you're playing a fictional character, obviously, or a real life person that people don't really know that well. And with playing Nye as well, it feels like a huge responsibility. I mean, it's a privilege to play him and to tell his story, but it's also a massive responsibility because there have been very few things out there about him, and it's such an important story.

“I already had such a strong feeling about him, a strong relationship to him and what he achieved. I know people who feel incredibly passionate about him and what he did. That brings an even greater level of responsibility to it. It was a great relief to know that once we started performing the play, people were accepting of me playing the part and were enjoying it and felt that it portrayed Bevan in a way that did him justice.”

Sheen added that the NHS itself has “always” been there for him throughout his life, citing moments in which he has lost family members and friends, as well as caring for his two children with Swedish actress partner Anna Lundberg, Lyra and Mabli. “It's not just one moment, it's a lifetime, lifelong relationship.”

Another relationship that Sheen has developed in recent years is with Doctor Who star David Tennant. The pair have been firm friends since appearing in both Staged and Good Omens with each other – both of which were hugely successful. Of his friendship with Tennant, Sheen jokes: “David and I will keep working together as long as we don't fall out!” While he ruled out more episodes of Staged, Sheen will reunite with Tennant when the third and final series of Good Omens enters production next year. When asked whether he knows what the future holds for his character, the actor said: “I know what's going to happen in the entire story but I'm not going to tell anyone.”

Before then Sheen will take on another real life role, playing Prince Andrew in a new series about the infamous Newsnight interview the royal did with Emily Maitlis. The story was adapted into Netflix film Scoop earlier this year: “I thought Rufus was fantastic,” Sheen said of Rufus Sewell’s performance as Prince Andrew in Scoop. “I thought he was brilliant as Andrew, he was much better than me. He was more a supporting character in that though. Our story is about Prince Andrew and Emily, it's much more they are the lead characters. It's a different focus and requires a different approach to the character. I was having to look at, as I'm sure Rufus did, the interview in particular. When we were working on it I was listening and watching the interview multiple times a day, every day for months.”

Reflecting on playing the divisive member of the Royal Family, Sheen said: “The level of controversy in that story brings an extra layer as well. The fact that for whatever all our personal opinions might be about what did or didn't happen, or what he did or didn't do, we don't know for definite. There's been no actual court case. We don't know exactly what happened.

"That requires a real level of sensitivity in how you deal with the story, apart from anything else because of legalities and that stuff, but when I read the script I thought that was handled really well. I thought it was a very clever way of allowing the audience to have a satisfying dramatic experience, but still keeping a level of ambiguity, which I thought was done very well on the script. Playing that character was challenging in all kinds of ways, as it is with every real-life character, but I also had to make certain choices and decisions about what was going on for him in my version.”

2024 has already been a busy year for Sheen as a few months ago, his directing debut The Way was released on BBC One – to mixed reviews. Reflecting on the project, which was shot in Wales, he said: “It was quite extraordinary to be attacked by Conservative ministers in the press on the day that it came out, and then to have right-wing newspapers having a concerted plan to try and smear it.

"We didn't expect that just before it came out the news would come out from the steelworks. It was a huge shock and obviously affected the way people perceive the story of the drama. It was never intended to be a socio-documentary about what was going on at the steelworks. It was my first time directing something and to be able to tell that story and film it around south Wales with an amazing Welsh cast was such a brilliant experience.”

[twh-news]

The 12th edition of Soccer Aid is set to take place at Old Trafford on Sunday in aid of UNICEF.

Lionesses star Jill Scott will captain an England squad that includes several former England internationals, as well as the likes of Danny Dyer and Tom Hiddleston, plus many more famous faces. England are up against Usain Bolt’s World XI that contains former football stars Roberto Carlos, Francesco Totti, Patrice Evra and Hernan Crespo, plus UFC champion Leon Edwards and boxer Tommy Fury.

New Chelsea boss Mauricio Pochettino will be managing the World XI, while Harry Redknapp, Emma Hayes and Stormzy are leading the England coaching staff.

Soccer Aid was started by Robbie Williams and Jonathan Wilkes in 2006 and has been an annual event since 2018. A huge crowd is expected at Old Trafford for the charity match, which was won by the World XI last year, via a Lee Mack spot kick in a penalty shootout.

Here’s how to watch the game this weekend:

Is Soccer Aid 2023 on TV?

The match is being broadcast in the UK on ITV 1, with coverage starting at 6.30pm on Sunday. Soccer Aid will also be available to view on STV or online, via ITVX.

The game will kick-off at 7.30pm and the programme will include post-match reaction until 10pm. Dermot O’Leary and Alex Scott will be part of the presenting team, while Sam Matterface and Love Island narrator Iain Stirling will be in the commentary box.

[umlewis]

lewis hamilton is interviewed after qualifying, bahrain - april 14, 2007 (transcription under the cut)

Interviewer: "Lewis, congratulations on your first front row qualifying position. It's all going terribly well, as they say." Lewis: "Yeah, it is. It's gone extremely well today, and to be on the front row only in my third grand prix is an amazing accomplishment, and obviously looking strong for tomorrow." Interviewer: "Well, look, I've got your front row, second place on the grid, lap. Will you take us through it? Here." Lewis: "Okay. We're going down the pit straight here. I think we should be hitting about 280…" Interviewer: "…the grand prix last weekend, 'cause I'm just blown away by the confidence that you had in there. Take us through that." Lewis: "I think it's important, when you do your warm-up lap, that you get enough heat into the brakes. By the time you sit down on the grid for 45 seconds or whatever it is, making sure that you're extremely confident, you know the brakes will be ready by the first corner, and I was on the inside. The plan was to make as much time up as possible and to gain as many places, and I think normally you would go into the corner maybe one… One, two spots is perfect, and I managed to go up the inside. I was surprised that Ferrari left us enough room. They sort of moved aside and let us go, so…" Interviewer: "But once you've nailed Räikkönen into the first turn, didn't you kind of think, 'Well, that's good. That'll do'? That's a good start, but you went straight for Massa, as well." Lewis: "Yeah, 'cause once he was out of the equation I noticed that Massa was sort of off-line, so I had to try and… This is another opportunity. You have to grab it with both hands, and so I was on the inside, as well, so I had the better line to make sure I got a good exit, and I saw there was an opportunity. I've seen in the past where you can go on the outside through turn two, so I just stuck it and came out ahead." [laughs] Interviewer: [laughs] "But weren't you sucking air through your teeth? It's like, 'Oh! Don't run me off the road, please!'" Lewis: "I knew… Well, you've got to… These drivers are sensible and I sort of thought, I've got nothing to lose, go for it, and so… It may have been a ballsy move, but I pulled it off." Interviewer: "You have more confidence in them than I have. Can you win this race here in Bahrain?" Lewis: "Well, first of all, this is such a tough sport and the races are very long. It's important that we get a good start. It's important you get 'round the first lap nice and clean; good getaway. But I feel extremely optimistic. You know what I'm like into the first corners. I will have the car on the limit, and hopefully on the inside of Felipe, and a nice and clean getaway. It's always difficult, but that is the plan and I've got to try my best to get the best start possible. But I can win here. We've definitely got the car to do it. I think we've got a good strategy compared to the others, so I feel extremely optimistic." Interviewer: "Alright. Good luck from F1 ITV." Lewis: "Thank you very much."

[fanficrocks]

Touch my heart

For @chrumblr-whumblr: May whump challenge #17 - Touch starved

Fandom: Lewis (ITV)

Length: ~3k words

Also posted to AO3

DI Robbie Lewis was clearing his desk on the evening of Good Friday in no great mood and with few plans for the weekend. Part of him was happy for his sergeant DS James Hathaway, a practising Catholic who would hopefully appreciate being able to attend the Easter service at church without worrying about a callout. For himself, Easter meant very little since his kids had grown too old for the egg hunt; and religion in general meant nothing at all since his wife’s tragic death some seven years ago. Indeed, the prospect of a full weekend off-rota held little appeal.

Just then, James returned to the office with the ballistics report they had been waiting for, the final nail in the coffin for the case they had cleared two days ago. As he added it to the file for CPS and brought the whole across to his boss, Robbie gave in to impulse.

“So, what are your plans for the weekend? Aside from church on Easter morning?”

“The band I play in - we have a gig in Reading tomorrow night for the local diocese. A bit different from what we normally play, so we are meeting for lunch and spending the afternoon rehearsing.”

“And Sunday, after church?”

“Nothing definite. Why?”

“Do you fancy takeaway at mine? There is a fine single malt calling our names, and you can break in the new sofa bed. Come a bit early if you like and we can watch more than one DVD from that boxset you brought last time.”

Despite the seemingly casual invitation, Robbie found himself holding his breath. It had been well over a month since James had joined him for a meal at his, and even their after-work pints had taken on a different flavour… almost as though he was showing up out of habit or duty, and not because he wanted to. Which was a puzzle, because they had settled into a nice pattern over the past couple of years - ever since the Phoenix case had rattled their equilibrium so badly. 

Even worse in Robbie’s opinion, James seemed to have been distancing himself at work too. Not in a way that would be obvious to anyone else - their usual repartee in quip and counterquip continued unabated, and not even such sharp observers as Dr. Laura Hobson or DCS Innocent had noticed anything. But he had - the difference was subtle but definite, and he found himself missing all the causal touches that punctuated their days… a hand on the back to indicate who should go through a doorway first, a friendly bump of the shoulder when walking down a narrow pavement, or a touch on the forearm to quietly draw attention to a clue. James and he had never had much sense of personal space around each other except when seriously at odds; and despite the tensions during the Crevecoeur case during the winter, he thought they had hit their stride once again. If anything, James had grown closer and more trusting since then - particularly once Robbie had made it clear that he was not going to push for any explanations regarding James’ childhood when his father was employed on that estate. Or so it had seemed, until the changes of the last weeks. 

To his surprise and relief, James looked happy - nay, delighted - at the invitation. His face broke into an all-too-rare sincere smile which seemed blinding in its intensity as he rushed to accept, with the stipulation that he would bring dessert. As they turned to walk in step down to the car park, Robbie felt something right itself despite the couple of feet of distance James continued to maintain between them. And found himself looking forward to the weekend after all.

~~~~~~~~~~

By Sunday afternoon, Robbie was basking in a pleasant sense of achievement - all the chores he had postponed for weeks as they had hit a string of complex cases were finally done, and he had taken advantage of the good weather to get a start on the little back garden that came with his flat. And he now had a pleasant evening to look forward to with his best mate. On the thought, he decided to text James to check what time he would be coming over, since they had not really decided what “early” meant. Text sent and cuppa in hand, he went back into the garden to continue planning what he would get to the next time he had a free day or two, and to wonder whether James might be game to join him.

Almost an hour later, there was no answer to his text, nor when he tried calling James. Robbie left messages on both his mobile and his home phone, and willed himself to wait a further half hour - maybe the lad was showering. But once his self-imposed interval had elapsed with no response from James, he could not wait any longer. Grabbing his car keys, he drove over to James’ flat, barely keeping within the posted speed limit on the thankfully empty roads. Once there, it was the work of a moment to check that James’ car was in its accustomed spot before letting himself in using the spare key he had been given a couple of years ago now. 

Stepping into James’ apartment, Robbie was brought up short by the unaccustomed clutter visible from the hall. Not that he had been here all that often, but after four years of sharing an office with James, he knew that the other man was always neat and systematic in everything he did. And he would never have left his beloved Gibson lying on the floor in the hallway! 

Increasingly worried about what he would find, Robbie walked further into the flat, calling out to James as he went. The silence that met him was distinctly unnerving, particularly as he knew that James should be at home. Until he entered the bedroom to find a fully clothed lanky frame collapsed on the bed, sweating and shivering simultaneously, while evidently too exhausted to have removed even his belt and shoes.

With a startled exclamation, Robbie made his way to the bedside. It did not take long to realise what was wrong - James had obviously come down with the flu that had been making the rounds of the nick for the past couple of weeks, and between fever and incipient dehydration, was in no shape to respond to the phone or indeed even to Robbie’s voice. And knowing him as Robbie did, it was likely the daft sod had been feeling poorly for a few days and ignoring it. Deciding that the recriminations could wait until James was better, he set to work getting the younger man comfortably into bed before attempting to get some fluids and paracetamol into him.

As he struggled with an utterly uncoordinated and floppy six-foot-three-inch sergeant, Robbie remembered just why nurses have to be so strong. By the time he got James changed into his pyjamas (old track bottoms and a threadbare T-shirt that surely could not have survived from his Cambridge days?) and manoeuvred him properly into bed, it was evident that this was just the start of a long evening and night. The lad’s temperature seemed to be steadily climbing, and while not yet obviously uncooperative, he was not exactly easy to coax into doing the needful - not making any sense when he talked, but nonetheless managing to convey his displeasure in increasingly inventive mumbles. Fortunately, James still seemed to recognise his touch and responded well enough to that, even if he seemed to be trying to burrow into Robbie for comfort. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours later, Robbie realised he would have to call Innocent and request a sick day (or several) for James. While in no immediate danger or need of further medical attention, the lad was obviously unwell and would need time to recover. But the trickier thing would be to convince Innocent to give Robbie the next day off too… given how James was just now, there seemed to be no other option. He could barely go to the kitchen to fetch him something to drink, or to the bathroom to refresh the wet flannel to cool his brow, without triggering intense anxiety on James’ part. Indeed, he only seemed to calm down and rest if Robbie was holding his hand or stroking his hair… as though that touch was the only thing anchoring him. 

Not wanting to disturb James, who seemed to have finally dropped off into a doze, Robbie decided to text Innocent and hope for the best. His guardian angels must have been working overtime, for she responded almost immediately and, albeit grudgingly, granted him a day off with the proviso that he be available should an emergency arise. With a sigh of relief, Robbie put away his phone and turned back to his awkward sod, gently freeing his left hand from the deathgrip James had on it in favour of replacing the wet flannel with his right. To his surprise, James brought his own hand up in a more coordinated movement than any he had essayed so far and pressed it over Robbie’s, as if to tighten the contact before relaxing back into sleep. 

It was an hour before James woke up, seemingly more compos mentis this time, and uncomplainingly cooperative when Robbie encouraged him to drink some orange juice. After helping him to the bathroom and changing the damp sheets in the interim, Robbie got him resettled in bed with a fresh cold flannel and water within easy reach.

“Lad, will you be alright on your own for a little while? You don’t have much in the fridge by way of fluids, so I will make a quick visit to the shops.” 

“Of course, Sir. And thank you! I don’t know how… you really didn’t need to… ”

“Give over, man! You are not just my sergeant, you are my mate. Now, seeing it is Easter Sunday, your local shop might be closed, so don’t get worried if I have to drive to the nearest supermarket and it takes a bit longer.”

Prophetic words, as it turned out. Not only were the small local shops closed, so was the nearest supermarket. By the time Robbie located one that was open and stocked up on the items he thought they would need, it was well over an hour since he had left James. He sent a brief text to explain, then hurried back as quickly as he could given the suddenly heavy traffic due to people returning from their Easter weekend trips.

Putting away the supplies he had bought, Robbie entered James’ bedroom carrying a tray bearing a bowl of hot chicken soup, some fresh bread, and further supplies of juice and paracetamol to see his sergeant trying to get out of bed and swaying in the process. Quickly putting the tray down on the dresser, he reached out to James, grasping his shoulders to steady him… only for James to turn into his body and cling desperately. Although wracked by fever and weakness, he was gripping Robbie as though for dear life. And no power on earth could stop him then from slipping his arms comfortingly around that shaking form.

“It’s alright, lad. I am here. What’s wrong?”

“You came back! You didn’t leave me!”

“Of course I came back, lad. I only went to get some supplies. Why did you think I wouldn’t?”

“Nobody does. All go away, never come back.”

“I am here, James. I won’t go away like that.”

“You did. When I lied to you. About Will and Feardocha and the others.”

“But I came back. I always do. As you know, lad.” 

Somehow, that seemed to get through to James, who allowed himself to be settled back against the piled pillows and accepted the soup Robbie was offering. He did not seem to know what to do with it, though, and simply sat there with a troubled stare as the soup cooled. With a sigh, Robbie sat down at the edge of the bed and lightly cuffed him on the arm.

“The soup won’t drink itself, you know. Come on now, a few spoonfuls won’t hurt you. And the bread will settle your tummy - let you alternate ibuprofen with the paracetamol to break the fever sooner.”

“What about you?”

“I will have mine after you finish.”

“You won’t go away?”

“No, daft lad. I won’t go away. I will bring my dinner here and sit in the armchair to have it if the smell of food won’t bother you.” 

Satisfied, James settled back and proceeded to eat. The soup and bread felt just right, as did Robbie’s solid presence by his side. A few minutes later, as he mopped up the last of the soup and accepted the tablets Robbie offered, he felt sufficiently restored to feel for the glasses on his bedside table and perch them on his nose before reaching for the book lying open there. A soft chuckle from Robbie made him look up then.

“What?”

“Only you would pick up a book with such small print when scarcely able to hold your head upright.”

“It’s just that I don’t want to fall asleep again right away. Not until I make sure you have eaten too.”

“That so? Why don’t we chat a bit then? So long as it won’t hurt your throat.”

“My throat is surprisingly clear, though I can’t say the same about my head. What do you want to talk about?”

“Nothing particular. You choose. Just no more flipping elves.”

That set James off laughing, though he had to stop soon enough as his exhausted body could handle only so much. Taking the laughter as a good sign, Robbie bore away the used tray and came back in with his sandwich and beer to settle down in the armchair after pulling it close enough for James to reach him if he so wanted. To his surprise, James took his hand unselfconsciously and initiated the conversation this time.

“I was really looking forward to our takeaway and DVD night, you know.”

“Glad to hear it. How about we do it once you are recovered?”

“You mean that?”

“Not in the habit of saying things I don’t mean! And I miss relaxing with you at the end of a case, or even just because. You do know that you are welcome any time, don’t you?”

James turned an interesting shade of pink at this, and nodded as a shy - almost incredulous - smile played around his lips. Robbie returned to his sandwich, wondering what new complications the daft lad’s overactive brain was cooking up now, and how he might need to handle them. 

“I just wanted to say, Sir, I really appreciate it. The acceptance and friendship you extend to me… I have never… just, thank you.”

“As I said, James, I consider you a friend. My best mate, really. So you have nothing to thank me for. You would do as much if the situation was reversed.”

“Hmmm. Still, I have never had anyone to do this for me. It… takes a bit of getting used to.”

Robbie found himself swallowing around a sudden lump in his throat at this admission. Taking a moment to compose himself, for James would shut down immediately if his reaction had even the faintest whiff of pity, he looked up and met his friend’s eyes openly, allowing his understanding to colour his gaze.

“Sometimes, we get lucky with our families. Other times, it takes longer and we have to find our clan.”

“Was that why you moved so far from home?”

“No - I was one of the lucky ones. We were almost frighteningly poor when I was growing up, but there was plenty of love to go around. It was the miners strikes in ‘84 that drove me south… wasn’t easy being a copper when many among my family and mates were working in the mines. The tensions ran too high just then, so it made sense to move here closer to Val’s folks.”

“I didn’t realise. That must have been hard.”

“Aye, especially at first. But it got easier with time, like almost everything does. Now, how about a cuppa before you get some sleep? I saw you have some non-caf herbal teas. Ginger-lemon sound OK?.”

At James’ nod, he went into the kitchen to put the kettle on and clear away the detritus of dinner, such as it was, while waiting for the tea to steep. Re-entering the bedroom a few minutes later, he found James trying valiantly to keep his eyelids open and not slide down into a fully recumbent position. Realising the younger man’s struggle, Robbie sat down beside him and slipped a supportive arm beneath his shoulders while holding his other hand ready to steady the cup in case of need. James relaxed against his side as he slowly sipped the tea as though the simple act of raising and lowering the cup required all his concentration.

Tea drunk, he sank back against his pillows, still pressed against Robbie’s side as though loath to give up the contact. Once James was deeply asleep, Robbie settled him comfortably then rose to retreat to the armchair, only for a long-fingered hand to clutch his own tightly. 

“Don’t go away.”

“I am not, lad. I will be right here - in the armchair.”

“No. Too far. Don’t go.”

“Alright. I am right here - you hold on to my hand.”

That seemed to do the trick as James drifted off again. Robbie sat there gently stroking the hand he was holding and hoping that would soothe the nervous twitches and jerks… it was as though James could not fully relax even in his sleep, and he wondered what else was in store until the fever broke properly.

Some indeterminate amount of time later, he looked up into James’ wide-open eyes. Their gaze was unfocused and for a moment, he was concerned that the lad was delirious, when he spoke in a dreamy tone.

“You are still here.”

“Course I am. Promised you, didn’t I?”

“And you always keep your promises.”

“I do. Or at least, I try my best to.”

“Something I need to learn from you. But I am doing better at it - I gave up touching you as my Lenten sacrifice, and I did not break that vow.” 

“Why lad? Does it bother you when I touch you? You should have said… I guess I have been used to having someone around, and transferred that to you as we became friends.”

“Bother me? No, it is exactly the opposite.”

As James dropped back into sleep, a number of things suddenly made sense to Robbie. Lent - and in the spirit of sacrificing something important to him, James had determined to give up the casual touches the two of them so frequently shared. So that was the reason for the distance he had sensed between them over the past weeks. While it was a relief to know that he had not done anything to precipitate the distance, Robbie knew that when the right time came, he would need to talk to James about being sensible in his sacrifices. Life had taught him that being too alone could eat into a man’s soul, that we are not made to exist without human touch. That there is no shame in needing a caring presence and a warm hand to grasp. 

But those were matters for another day when James was recovered and hopefully willing to talk to him. For now, it was enough that his presence and his touch were helping James, and that the lad trusted him enough to let him in thus far. What he truly wanted from their friendship - that was something to discuss later. But one thing Robbie was determined on… whatever it was, he would be there for James to the best of his ability and with his whole heart.

[benevolent-collegiate]

Boycott & Pressure ITV – Stop the Platforming of Racist, Anti-LGBTQ+ Hate!

Hi friends. Do you know who Nigel Farage is?

For those of you lucky enough to be unaware of the hateful bag of grease, let me catch you up to speed. He is the face of manipulative far-right demagoguery in Britain. He has been sowing the seeds of fascism in our political landscape since 2006. His lies, dog-whistling, and xenophobic faux-outrage permeate the media to this day. If you've ever heard a Brit complain about the "bloody foreigners taking our jobs", or totally incorrect claims of the oppression/replacement of white British people, I'd bet money that they heard it from him or the institutions in his cabal. Brexit happened because of pressure from the far-right hate party he founded, and these days his vitriol is focused on the "woke establishment". A true stochastic terrorist, there's POC blood on his hands, LGBTQ+ blood on his hands, and he has no intention of slowing down.

Oh, and he just picked up a cool £1.5 million from ITV to appear on I'm A Celebrity this weekend.

ID: A screenshot of a news article by Matthew Evans for Oxford Mail. It reads: "I'm a Celebrity: Nigel Farage reportedly highest ever paid. ITV have found themselves in hot water for allegedly offering Nigel Farage £1.5million to appear on this year's I'm a Celebrity." There's an image of Nigel Farage smiling widely and pointing toward the viewer.

I'll quickly explain what I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here is too. It's a reality show where D-list celebrities "live in the jungle" (a luxury glamping setup with every amenity one could want) and may occasionally be tasked with a trial such as having bugs poured on them or having to eat a kangaroo penis. Real highbrow stuff.

Now I know you probably weren't going to watch it anyway. You've got better things to do than watch reality TV. But last year's I'm A Celeb was a huge moneymaker, drawing in over 9 million viewers who made ITV lots of money via the value of ad space, plus the show's phone and text voting charges.

The move to shell out for Farage was a calculated one to attract people via shock value, from the eventual drama and viral clips they'll make by having the other celebrities butt heads with him. In doing so, they are platforming and promoting a cruel authoritarian. One whose rhetoric has made this country more dangerous for people like me. That seven figure paycheck is going to directly fund the racist, homophobic, transphobic hate campaign that threatens us all.

Here's what you can do.

- Don't watch the show.

- Don't watch ITV at all.

- Encourage your mum and dad, your nan, the gossipers at the salon, anyone in the target audience, to boycott too.

- Write to viewerservices@itv.com and let them know that you won't be using their services at all if they platform dangerous people like Farage.

- Please please please reblog this so we can continue to make hatred untenable, together <3

[alianoralacanta]

Coulthard, Sato and Pit Stop Misadventures: Spanish GP (14-05-2007)

Context: The blog plugin for the forum received an upgrade, including shiny new mood and activity indicators! I mostly used it to state what I was reading at the time, because I was and still am a bookworm. (In case you are wondering, my current reading is:

Travel reading: The Time Traveller's Guide to Restoration Britain by Ian Mortimer

Home reading: "No Offence But…" by Gina Martin

e-Reading: A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett

"Light reading": GP Racing, August 2024)

I'd spent most of the weekend trying to persuade my undergraduate dissertation to print off the computer (I'm not sure if my alma mater has an online copy - it probably does - but since I didn't write it under my psuedonym, I hope you will forgive me for not linking to it). Thus, I'd been on an adrenaline high when I finally succeeded. "Most" of the weekend, because I'd also watched the Spanish Grand Prix, where the accidental comedy had leavened things nicely…

Coulthard, Sato and Pit Stop Misadventures: Spanish GP

Sleep

Reading The Age of Spiritual Machines by Ray Kurzweil

No Category

Firstly, I apologise if I doze off in the middle of this entry - I've spent a lot of today convincing an unreliable computer system to print off a 2800-word essay (I managed it and handed it in with one minute to spare - don't ask!)

The "Oh no it's all falling to pieces" feeling must have struck David Coulthard at some point during the race, as his Red Bull once again attempted to thwart his efforts to finish a race for once. I was very impressed by his ability to almost maintain the same speed minus third gear as he had with it - and fifth is a great way to finish the first race his midfield car has finished with him in it.

I particularly loved James Allen's comment just before the gearbox issue manifested himself; "This is the best performance we've seen from David since… [pause] …er, the last time we saw a good performance from him a few weeks ago." This proves three things:

1) Walkerisms still sound funny, even when Murray Walker isn't the one saying them 2) four weeks is too long to wait between races 3) David Coulthard is going through one of the best phases of his career - not that the points scoreboard shows that right now

Speaking of good performances from rarely-rewarded people, Takuma Sato put in a lovely race from 13th to 8th. With all the attention ITV lavished upon Anthony Davidson and Jenson Button, you could have been fooled into thinking the guy who'd outqualified both of them didn't exist.

At least, until Sato took Giancarlo Fisichella's 8th place off him and scored Super Aguri's first point ever. Even I, a Fisi supporter who thought that it was unfair that a malfunctioning pitlane device should have put him in that position, could not begrudge Takuma his just reward for a great drive. It seems that Takuma is currently having more success with his self-orientated team than Jacques Villnueve did at BAR. That is a credit to the staff at Leafield as well as to Takuma.

Returning to the pitlane, I was rather miffed at the stuff that was happening in the pitlane - and not just because the Renault rigs forced both Giancarlo and his team-mate Heikki Kovalainen to switch to the slower three-stop strategy mid-race. No, the incident that really got my blood boiling was Massa's portable barbecue.

It is rare for a fuel hose to do that sort of thing, and it was dangerous for both the Ferrari and the McLaren mechanics (the fire had nearly burnt itself out by the time Felipe went alongside the McLaren staffers, but it could have so easily been a considerable amount worse. Intertechnik are not in my good books right now, and I'm sure they're not in Ferrari or Reanult's good books either.

BMW could not blame Intertechnik for their Carry On moment - they caused that one by themselves. How Nick managed to miss the front-right jack man not raising his hand is a minor mystery (not that it was really his fault, but…). How he got away with getting it around the track minus the front right wheel nut without being a hazard to anyone or damaging his car is a major one. (On the upside, the shot of the Toyota mechanic holding the nut aloft, in his best "Has anyone lost something?" posture, was priceless).

It has to be said though that the Spanish GP has been the most interesting race for me all season. I'm not sure what that says about the three flyaways, except that I am now looking forward to Monaco with renewed vigour.

On the blog front, you may have noticed that I have recently added a menu on the right-hand side of the blog screen. With access to a blogroll and the site policy, it should help make things that little bit more enjoyable. Please tell me if there's any other changes you would like to see.

Oh, and I broke the 2000-visit boundary today. I think my involvement in the wider blogosphere may have a lot to do with it, but I am pleased to see so many enjoy my site. Please come as many times as you like, and I hope you'll be here when I celebrate the next milestone (and for the more serious entries in between).

Wow! I managed to stay awake for all that. I'll just go and have a lie-down now…

La Canta Magnifica Blog - After the very interesting Spanish GP, Alianora La Canta looks at two of the stand out drives of the race (David Coulthard and Takuma Sato), as well as the unintentional action down the pitlane.

[bottomoftheriverbed]

I know they probably couldn't because it would so obviously date the show but I think they should have had Alison having to constantly update Pat on how Huddersfield town are doing. He was buzzing to find out that they got to the prem then promptly devastated because as soon as he found this out they got relegated. He was absolutely fuming at the 2022 play off final and didn't shut up about it for weeks. He was also delighted when they managed to stay up in the championship last season. He makes Alison put the radio on whenever they're playing and also makes her put the EFL highlights on every weekend (although he also thinks it's gone to the dogs since moving to itv). Eventually he makes Alison buy an ifollow subscription and watches every match. He was also makes everybody follow England and was absolutely buzzing when Levi Colwill got called up. He also made Alison look up all the England players to see who played for Huddersfield. He thinks ben chilwell should play more and will defend Conor coady with his life (same). Alison and Mike (and half the ghosts) are deeply invested but will not admit it both because of pride and for Alison and Mike specifically because they don't know how they would explain to other people that they support Huddersfield town despite being from London (?) and having zero connection to Huddersfield

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

Speaking as someone who has no option but the sky sports commentary, if you don't think they're biased you're wrong. I've watched F1 my entire life so just over two decades. The rights have changed from ITV to BBC to Sky in that time and the bias has always been there but as Sky Sports has the main English speaking F1 content in the age of social media, the bias is significantly more harmful.

Fans get to be biased. Commentary is supposed to be unbiased and impartial. Yes a driver's home country's commentary will undoubtedly be biased in favor of them and no commentary is completely free from bullshit takes, however the British commentary is held up as the "proper" one, it caters to more of the fan base than any other and is heralded as the home of F1. They continuously spread misinformation, are unable to remain impartial for the roughly two hours of races we get and are unable to not stir shit for views. British drivers and teams that have British drivers are held to a completely different standard.

And it's not just Red Bull or Max affected. I'm basically crying out for literally any info on the likes of Alex, Mick, Zhou, Yuki etc during race weekends but no I have to hear more about how Mercedes might actually have a chance at a win this time out which they've already discussed multiple times prior. Mercedes tend to get a free pass from criticism from the British commentators. Had any other team had "we deal with it in house" strategy in regards to punishing their drivers, the British commentators would absolutely lose it. But Toto giving stern talkings to Nico and Lewis whenever they crashed each other out (Spain 2016 for example) and to George after Imola 2021 (where he without question should've been held accountable by the FIA for hitting a fellow driver in the head after a crash when said driver's condition was still in question) is fine and goes by without question. Had say Ferrari pestered the FIA long enough in order to change rules and regulations (see changing the flooring regulations mid season this year or the pit stop rules mid season last year), they would be dogged by criticism and allegations of cheating. They've been silent about Mercedes doing the aforementioned. Meanwhile one of the alpha tauris or alpines or alfa romeos are starting from the pits but it's not deemed important enough to explain why until literally the last minute and we're getting underway. The way they talk about the likes of Checo and Yuki in particular have been disgusting and beyond insulting. It's far from impartial and it's nothing like real journalism. They criticize the FIA if they don't like a penalty (especially if it affects a British driver negatively) but, apart from Jenson Button, none of them saw the need to talk about the issue of the tractor on track during wet conditions with racing continuing under yellow flags at Suzuka. They often take quotes out of context to fit their narrative and often spread misinformation in order to uphold that narrative.

Some of you are too young or didn't watch F1 during the Schumi days or red bull era! Seb, but as someone who watched both and everything in-between and after, little has changed in regards to that bias. But as I've said before it's significantly worse in the age of social media. You're never free from trolls but spreading this bias as gospel truth leads to people believing it as such. The amount of harm that causes is horrific. I've seen racial abuse, death threats, body shaming, outright misogyny, and so much worse, directed at many drivers and many fans of said drivers both online and irl. They rightfully called it out at Austria. Yet they were almost entirely silent at Monza and at Silverstone. You don't get to cherry pick when it matters because it might fit your narrative because it always does matter and it is always wrong no matter who is directly affected or involved. No circuit or fanbase is perfect or free from bad eggs but to say that it was one driver's entire fanbase one weekend and that it was "just a few bad eggs" the next because it's a different driver's fanbase spreading abuse is clear evidence of inherent bias and double standards. You cannot pretend to be impartial while doing this.

I'm not going to sit here and say I'm without bias because I'm not. I don't have to be, however, because I'm a fan, not a commentator. They should be impartial for the length of the race weekend and be able to give an unbiased analysis on every driver and team. Can you honestly tell me that they are able to do so? I can set aside my biases and acknowledge if the drivers I support messed up or if a driver I'm generally indifferent to (I don't hate any driver, I don't get how people are so obsessed with hating on drivers they dislike) did well. I don't believe they can do the same, if they ever could because they've gone unchecked for years.

Also Sky Sports is the channel that used horrific crashes in ads to wish people a merry Christmas last year. They pulled the ad after rightfully receiving heavy criticism but I don't know if they ever apologized for it. I personally doubt it.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #601

Top Ten CITV Shows

This is a list I’ve deliberately held off doing for years. Why? Because I worked for CITV, for, like, a decade; that can give you a slightly skewed relationship with its output. There are some really weird, obscure shows that I really enjoyed, because they kind of became part of the office discourse or we built jokes around them (for instance, the Parping Ponies from Planet Sketch). Then there’s the fact that I know some of the people who made some of these shows; maybe I’m friends with them! Maybe that makes me want to rank the show too high! Or maybe I’m trying to counter a perceived bias, and I end up ranking it too low! I don’t wanna offend anyone! Especially, ahem, people who I might want to work with.

But finally, to mark the sad, sorry, and somewhat inevitable death of CITV as a channel and a going concern – long after it ceased to be a major player in the world of kids’ TV – and partly inspired by this article (well, entirely prompted by it to tell the truth), I have finally decided to take the plunge. I don’t think the notion of a house being a “CBBC” or “CITV” encampment really held true for me and my friends; it is true that I know people whose parents didn’t like them watching CITV for fear that its shows (or maybe just its adverts) would addle and corrupt their fragile young minds, but now we have TikTok so such fears seem naïve and ridiculous. No; I was a nerd who looked up show listings in advance and knew when to switch from one channel to another in order to watch, I dunno, The Real Ghostbusters on one side and Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles on the other (or Garfield and Friends versus Around the World in Eighty Days, or Mike and Angelo against The Really Wild Show). The point is, I was a flipper, and I don’t think I considered myself really in either camp. I was Channel Agnostic but a devout consumer of Stuff.

And I think, inevitably, this list is skewed heavily in favour of nostalgia. As much as I loved a good deal of what the CITV channel was putting out in my time there, when I think of genuine classics the bulk of them are from my own childhood. This is definitely perception talking, at least to some degree; there are shows that I think fell slightly between the cracks of my time watching and my time working. MPAA is almost that, only just skirting the first years of my employ (tragically cancelled after the Carlton-Granada merger and a dodgy football deal left ITV deeply, cripplingly in the red, and they ended up shutting Granada Kids, their dedicated kids’ TV production arm; this was basically within a year of me starting work there so maybe I’m a bad luck charm). Jungle Run is probably an all-timer that, because it didn’t hit me as a child (note: don’t actually hit children) my appreciation for it is perhaps a touch more academic than emotional. But to be honest, the really great shows – excepting one or two – that were on CITV when I worked there were, I’m sorry to say, imports and acquisitions; and as per the rules of The Article What I Linked To, these are all going to be home-grown productions. Original British CITV content, so not the likes of (the excellent) Almost Naked Animals or the seminal Pokémon, once so resolutely CITV-ish that it’s deeply weird to see it on CBBC nowadays (don’t they know it’s based on a game?!).

Also, because this list is specifically celebrating CITV, it does mean I can’t include some programmes that were made and broadcast on ITV but – for whatever reason – weren’t really CITV shows. Usually this is because they pre-date the birth of the formal Children’s ITV strand in January 1983, but sometimes because of some quirk or the other they were a “regular” ITV show rather than a CITV one. So if there’s a big, old, classic show (eg Rainbow or maybe The Wind in the Willows), that’s why it’s not on here.

Or I just forgot.

So anyway, let’s load up the digibeta one last time and spool through a bunch of terrific shows one last time, before downloading the ITVx app. And remember: if you want me to do some work for you but then you notice I’ve put your show disarmingly low on this list, it’s only because I love you and I don’t want people to think I’m giving you an unfair advantage. Plus I couldn’t even find room for Fun House, so if you’re here then you’ve definitely done alright.

Count Duckula (1988-1993): so I can’t include Danger Mouse here because it pre-dates CITV, but if I’m honest then as a kid I preferred Duckula anyway. This is one of those seminal, era-defining shows that is hilarious for kids and adults alike; a version of the traditional British type of humour that Cosgrove Hall used to infuse all their shows with, and which is – I guess – being carried aloft nowadays by the likes of Aardman. But the central conceit of a vegetarian vampire, the trad Britcom trope of a vainglorious buffoon thwarted by his own behaviour, plus a tremendous supporting cast, and – it cannot be understated – David Actual Jason doing giving a fantastic central performance. Everything about it rocked. I used to collect the comic.

My Parents are Aliens (1999-2006): part of a long tradition of weird sitcoms for kids, this seems both like the end of an era and also the beginning of something new (its DNA found in everything from My Spy Family to So Awkward). Treating its audience with respect and assuming they were both intelligent and funny, we’ve got some really great child performances surrounding two barnstorming central characters: Tony Gardner’s Brian and Carla Mendonça’s Sophie (no offence to OG Sophie Barbara Durkin). Stupid, vain, arrogant, childlike, and really weird, their various paranormal travails were the backbone of the series, leading to tremendously off-beat stuff like them getting crucified, kidnapping people, or, er, taking naked pictures (don’t ask). Its sad cancellation when it still had gas in its tank was a tragic end to the glory days of Old CITV.

Knightmare (1987-1994): fun fact: all the time I worked there, there was a Knightmare winners’ trophy in the CITV office, and I didn’t know what it was until we moved offices after about eight years. Anyway, this revolutionary gameshow was both fantasy throwback – doing its own spin on D&D before D&D was cool – and also high-tech futuristic proof-of-concept, its computer-generated backgrounds leaning in to both nascent videogaming and the promise of virtual reality. Both a terrific gameshow (everyone wanted to be on it) and a thrilling narrative due to the presence of characters such as host Treguard (Hugo Myatt).

Pocoyo (2005-2007): I’m pretty sure this counts as home-grown because Granada had a stake in it; indeed, early in my CITV tenure we were all asked to brainstorm ideas for ways they could exploit the IP. But that’s by the by; this is a beautiful, adorable show, the kind of thing that everyone would bang on about if it had appeared on CBeebies. Gorgeously simplistic characters adorn a stark minimalist background, telling sweet stories about learning and growing, all watched over by gentle and funny narrator Stephen Fry. It can still be found on Disney+. Go check out the episode where Pocoyo and Pato play at being kaiju.

Round the Bend! (1989-1991): not sure if this is as widely remembered as some of the other entries, but it was one of my favourite shows when I was in single digits. Basically some kind of magazine show set in a sewer and hosted by a furious crocodile, it’s very hard to describe; but it had quite hard-edged, satirical, scabrous humour, poking fun not just at child-focused things (I remember they did a Transformers parody), but also at politics and TV and more “adult” fare. It was really odd, kinda dirty, and definitely felt like the sort of thing the BBC would never broadcast. See also: sketch show Your Mother Wouldn’t Like It which spawned the incredibly strange politicians-at-school series Palace Hill.

Bad Influence! (1992-1996): back in the very early days of games-on-TV, there was either GamesMaster – a kinda-risque gameshow that went out at 6pm on Channel 4 – or this, a fact-focused Tomorrow’s World of gaming directed at kids. Presented by Andy Crane and gaming legend Violet Berlin (who knows who I am), it succeeded in never, ever talking down to its target audience, or pretending like its subject matter was anything less than interesting and relevant. Its tone was really similar to the Amiga magazines I was reading at the time, and I still honestly think it’s probably the best all-round gaming show ever on TV. Bonus points for this fantastic “Twelve Days of Christmas” song.

The Trap Door (1986-1990): absolutely one of my favourite shows as a child, I adored this. It was grimly macabre and deliciously funny, with a really strong style, all primary-coloured characters and dark backgrounds. The main character was called Berk (!) and every episode he’d end up releasing something hilariously awful from a trapdoor in the floor of the castle where he worked; comedy hijinks would inevitably ensue. Also had one of the greatest theme tunes of all time, even if it is basically two lines long.

Horrid Henry (2006-2015): it can't be overstated the impact Henry had on CITV. He became the channel’s icon and mascot; well deserved, considering his brand of ultimately sweet but also intensely cheeky and funny behaviour fit the brand to a T. From its rocking theme music to its vast collection of characters, Henry was something different; a knockabout comedy cartoon for kids of about eight-to-ten, yes, but also a really well-nurtured and cultivated world that kids could relate to. Almost Simpsons-like in the depth of its bench, later series were able to tell episodes almost entirely away from Henry himself, so recognisable and beloved had the supporting cast become. The only CITV show from my era at the channel that spawned a movie starring actual Hollywood talent; definitely the best original production to debut whilst I worked there; and probably the last truly great show the brand ever put out. Quite how they let Horrid Henry slip through their fingers I’ll never know.

How 2 (1990-2006): there were a number of very good factual shows on CITV; The Big Bang, for instance, was much better than the similarly-named sitcom. How 2 (sequel series to an older pre-CITV show that I’ve never seen) was great both due to its presenters – mostly, in my experience, the classic trio of Carol Vorderman, Gareth Jones (who I’ve met!) and the great Fred Dinenage – and its overall cheery tone (and minimalist set). They’d ask “How” you could do something, and then proceed to show you the answer; it was a tremendously fun and accessible way not just into science, nature, and all sorts of clever school-y stuff, but also more random bits of trivia. For instance: how do you eat a mango? In retrospect, I’m not sure if the whole “How!” thing has aged terribly well, but the rest of the show is great.

Fraggle Rock (1983-1987): this is only at the bottom for two reasons: one, I’m still not a hundred percent sure it counts as a proper, original CITV show rather than an acquisition (I think it debuted on the then-brand-new CITV strand, and every episode was specifically tailored for the UK market with original wraparound material and stories featuring UK actors and brand-new sets, etc); and two, I really haven’t seen it at all for decades, so maybe it doesn’t hold up as well as I think. But look, it’s got Muppets. The strange story of a variety of different co-existing races underground (and, er, overground I guess), my memory is it was a varied, intelligent, and incredibly fun piece of puppetry and animation, as good as the best Jim Henson stuff ever was. And, again, it had a banging theme tune.

Thinking about it, the fact that I’ve finally done a CITV Top Ten – and given the importance of CITV to my life and career – as a 601st list, so near the landmark 600, also feels like a major milestone. Celebrations all round!

[readingdiary]

*****

READING 9/4/23 - ‘WHY DIDN’T THEY ASK EVANS?’ - AGATHA CHRISTIE

AFTER SEEING ‘WHY DIDN’T THEY ASK EVANS?’ - ITVX

This was a great Easter weekend read. I quite often read a Poirot over a weekend and then we watch it DVD so it was a delight to see that Hugh Laurie’s recent ‘Why Didn’t They Ask Evans?’ was being shown on ITV.

https://www.itv.com/watch/agatha-christies-why-didnt-they-ask-evans/10a2440/10a2440a0001

I first read ‘Why Didn’t They Ask Evans?’ a few years ago after having bought an Agatha Christie 3 DVD collection of Agatha Christies from the 1980s. (This was great summer holiday reading and viewing).

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081752/

We loved this 1980 production. I have never read any of Agatha Christie’s Tommy and Tuppence books but I felt that our ‘Why Didn’t They Ask Evans?’duo must be similar.

The current Hugh Laurie production is good and has great reviews but was not as much fun as I remember. They take everything far too seriously nowadays.

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2023/apr/09/why-didnt-they-ask-evans-review-agatha-christie-hugh-lauriea-classic-whodunnit-with-delight-in-every-scene

Interestingly, this Agatha Christie fan site was the best website for checking out this new production. (It was shown on Britbox first of all last year). I am impressed that it includes an extract from the book.

https://www.agathachristie.com/en/film-and-tv/why-didnt-they-ask-evans *****

[umlewis]

lewis hamilton on itv's pre-race show, spain - may 13, 2007 (transcript under the cut)

Post-qualifying interview #1: Lewis: "We're here to work as a team. I'm gonna do my job, which is try to score as many points for the team, and if he's ahead and we can help each other out we surely will, because we're teammates, but at the end of the day we're out here to beat each other, we're out there to win, and so that's gonna be my main target." [time jump]

Post-qualifying interview #2: Lewis: "We have a slightly different strategy to Fernando, at least, and I think we're in good step for tomorrow. Yeah, if you work it out I was just as quick, if not maybe quicker. We'll see." [time jump]

Post-qualifying interview #3: Interviewer: "Lewis, back in action after a month's break, and once again you start from row two. First of all, a word about your qualifying performance, how you judge what you achieved in qualifying, and prospects for the race." Lewis: "I'm extremely excited to be back here. I've not been out in the car for four weeks, so yesterday when I went out I still had that buzz like I always have when I get in a car, which is a good thing, so I enjoy it. But in qualifying we… As you can see in testing, we've been quickest, or I was quickest, so I've had the car, really, to challenge for the pole, but due to certain strategy decisions I wasn't really given the opportunity to fight for pole. Being on the second row, I'm used to that. We can get a good start. It's a long tow down to the first corner, so as long as I get a good start I should be able to tow some of the drivers and try and get past, so that's gonna be the plan." Interviewer: "Tell us about the three weeks or month you've had since Bahrain and how much of real, ordinary life were you able to get back to." Lewis: "It wasn't too bad. As soon as I got back I had some paparazzi outside my house, which was a bit weird, so as you can imagine I felt a bit imprisoned in my own house. But it was good to get back and see my family, see friends, and just relax, and then I went back down to working and got back on the job, training, making sure I was fit enough for this weekend." Interviewer: "It is a race that is so important to Fernando. We all know that. Is there a way in which you can be extra supportive this particular weekend?" Lewis: "I don't think so. [laughs] We're here to work as a team. I'm gonna do my job, which is try to score as many points for the team, and if he's ahead and we can help each other out we surely will, because we're teammates, but at the end of the day we're out there to beat each other, we're out there to win, and so that's gonna be my main target." Interviewer: "Now that we're back in Europe, one final point. One personality who's been able to return to Formula 1 and get a huge amount of attention is, of course, Michael Schumacher, here this weekend. Are there any circumstances where your paths might cross during the course of the weekend?" Lewis: "I hope so. During my career I've not really had many meetings with him. I think in Istanbul last year was the first time he really spoke to me, and it's great to have him here. It's good to see him. I think it's good for Formula 1; the fans love it. But I've not had time to see him just yet, but it's probably not good to have a McLaren and a Ferrari driver talking to each other, so I'll just keep my distance." [laughs] Interviewer: "Exactly. Well, we'll wish you luck for the weekend to come, and…"

[magpies-gold]

Finally doing this on a long weekend (yeah!)

rules: tag 10 people you want to get to know better

relationship status: Engaged to @timmcosplay! He’s put up with me for something like eight years and that’s a bit baffling!

favorite color: Electric blue. I badly wanted to paint my bedroom that colour as a kid, but my dad made me tone it down. And, well, fair. But electric blue! The more eye searing the better.

song stuck in my head: Eliza Rickman - Pretty Little Head

last song i listened to: Werewolf Boyfriend - Little Seed

three favorite foods: Salmon! Perogies. Grilled cheese sandwiches my beloved.

last thing i googled: “Edmonton ITV”. Tim and I were discussing what he called “newscore”, meaning the music style that news channels started using in the mid-90’s, which led to us talking about A Channel and how when it appeared around 1995 it chose music that was just a bop for its news show and then, because I enjoy lists and giving myself pop quizzes, I started listing all the channels my family could get with our TV antenna in early 90’s rural Alberta and then I got stuck on “What was channel 13?? It had an “i” before it was re-branded as Global….” Hence: Googling. Then finding my answer and nostalging over the old logos.

Normal conversations, y’know.

dream trip: The older I get, the more I don’t think I have one. My travel anxiety is INTENSE. I like staying home and just looking at pictures, mostly. Trips are not my jam these days, except to go home to my parents’ farm, and even that’s hard. >>

anything i want right now: To completely redecorate our condo so that I actually love it instead of tolerate it. Saving up for that!

Also I want olives but I bought some yesterday so I’m satisfied.

tagging: Copping out and tagging whoever wants to do this! I am too Canadian to tag people specifically lest I annoy them and have to say sorry.