#its why im really not a fan of childhood friends to lovers

[sometinybees]

The last of us is such a good example of not needing a relationship to be romantic for it to be utterly heartwrenching and captivating. I know we always wanna make the characters kiss (not these two but you get what I mean) but like Ellie and Joel obviously show that they don't need to be romantic for a relationship to gut punch you and make you go insane. I will never fault someone for shipping god knows I do it all the time, but I dearly wish for more platonic relationships like this to be treated with such care and importance by fandom.

[andkisses]

♡ roman holiday | sunghoon ♡

will this bucket list trip be the thing that finally forces you to face your feelings? or will it be the thing that tears the two of you apart for good?

♡ sunghoon x gn!reader | wc. 9.4k ♡ genres/tropes: childhood friends to lovers and the fluff and angst that comes with it, college!au (not obvious but implied), road trips ♡ mentions of/warnings: arguments, references to a toxic family environment, allusions to drowning, i think that’s all but lmk if there’s smth else that needs added! ♡ a/n: this has been a wip for SOO long we’re talking YEARS and has changed muses several times but i finally sat down to finish this and im so proud of what i managed <3 truly some of my favorite things ive ever written ! inspired by roman holiday by halsey! this is also the longest thing i think i have ever written <3

♡ masterlist ♡

The coffee ring on the counter stares back at you, warm brown against a stark egg white. You can’t tell if it’s old or new, and part of you doesn’t care. Another part wants to know, though, when the coffee stain was made and why it was never cleaned. The motel is practically empty, the older lady behind the front desk and a tired-looking family in the corner of the dining room are the only other inhabitants.

Through the windows, dressed quaintly with homesewn drapes, you see the tall mountain trees, dark green and prickly, stretching up to the crystal blue sky. The television across the room is set to the weather station, and the anchor talks about how a cold front could potentially lead to an early snow. 

A tray with various breakfast items clunks against the table, and the boy you’ve been traveling with settles in across from you, faux leather chair seat squeaking beneath in subtle “I’m hardly ever used” protest. His dark hair falls into his eyes messily, as if he only just now got up and rolled out of bed. The red flannel and vest he wears matches the surroundings, but looks absurd on your best friend.

“Sunghoon,” you start, interlacing your fingers and resting your chin on the bridge they form. Your eyes scan the tray, accounting each and every tiny portion of food. Eggs, both scrambled and hard boiled, some toast with an assortment of little jam containers, a little bowl of butter, two pancakes, half a waffle, and a few strips of bacon. “Thank you for getting everything,” you continue, leveling a stare over the top of your nose, “but you forgot the syrup.”

The boy in front of you blinks, bites his lips, and nods his head. A soft yeah, I forgot the syrup escapes his lips as he slides out of his chair, the pleather squeaking once again. “Give me like two minutes,” he says, “the breakfast bar is crazy to navigate. Do you see the things I do for you?” His smile is teasing.

“It’s no problem, Hoon—” Your voice trails off as he jogs off into the distance. You shake your head, feeling lethargic and sleepy beneath the slow-turning ceiling fan. Your gaze follows its metallic clink, and the fan seems as if it’s never been replaced in the 50-something years this establishment has operated.

You’re brought back down by a small tug on your sleeve, and when you look, it’s the little girl from the tired family across the room. She blinks up at you, not much unlike Sunghoon, innocent and full of curiosity. You nod your head, encouraging her to talk. The little girl takes a big gulp of air, dual pigtails bobbing, before, “I think your boyfriend is very nice and I like how he gets you your breakfast.”

The laugh that leaves you is easy, the statement hardly shocking at all. You’re used to it, strangers and acquaintances alike assuming the relationship status between the two of you. It’s nothing new. The little girl’s face is confused, her head listing to one side. You nod again, swallowing any additional laughter. “He’s not my boyfriend,” you reply, and you see a little bit of the light in her eyes diminish. “We’re just really good friends. He’s my best friend, actually.”

The girl’s brows furrowed together, a small pout forming on her lips. Obviously not the answer she was expecting. Then she nods, lips pursed. “Yeah, okay,” she mutters, seeming confused. Before she turns to walk back to her family, she looks back up and adds, “He’s a good friend. I would keep him as my friend for a long time.”

“That’s what I intend on doing, kiddo.” Your voice is quiet as the little girl skips back across the old, faded carpet towards her family. You see Sunghoon emerge from the breakfast bar, where everyone else at this motel must be. He waves small packets of syrup in the air. The smile that flits across your face is fleeting. You try to ignore, again, this feeling in your chest. Your voice is small, talking to yourself. “For as long as possible.”

***

The candy-colored Valentine stared back at you, practically mocking you. Third grade and only one Valentine. You tried to fight back the tears, attempted to sniff them back inside, but nothing worked. They fell, one by one, onto the homemade card, soaking through the pink construction paper and leaving roundly-shaped wet splotches across your only card.

You read the simple message, “Happy Valentine’s! – Sunghoon”, over and over and over again. You racked your brain, trying to figure out why, why, why no one else gave you a card. You were nice, you offered to help them when they needed it. It seemed like everyone liked you. They even let you sit by them at lunch.

So why?

The hand on your shoulder startled you, your head whipping up to face the figure standing beside the desk. It was Sunghoon, the boy who gave you the only Valentine in your possession. The edges of his dark hair curled around his eyebrows and the corners of his eyes. His brow scrunched with worry, and he ducked down to see your face.

“Are you okay?”

You shook your head, a bitter pout filling out your lips. “Does it look like I’m okay?”

Sunghoon shrugged, removing his hand to pull out the seat beside you. “I guess not.” He pursed his lips, hands clasped in his lap, before looking back at you. “What’s the matter?”

You flung the single Valentine—his own Valentine—back at him. The construction paper flew through the air before catching, floating down to land on the table by Sunghoon, who deftly picked it up and turned it over in his hands.

“It’s the only one you got?”

You nodded, crossing your arms on your desk and sinking into them. A heavy sigh left your chest and you sniffled, trying to keep the angry tears from falling again. You wished the day would end; that the bell would ring and release you so you could go home and cry somewhere comfier instead.

There was silence, then, “Does it matter if you only got one?”

You scoffed, still hidden in your arms. “Uh, duh? It means no one in this class likes me.”

“Then… why does it matter if everyone else doesn’t like you? Shouldn’t one person liking you be okay?”

You bit your lip. You can’t tell if you like his thinking or not. You decided not to respond.

You heard the chair scrape against the wood floor beside you, and you figured it was Sunghoon leaving to return to the other students. That was fine, you figured. It’s what you should expect, anyway. Even if he was the only one who gave you a Valentine, it was probably only because he gave the whole class Valentine’s. What a guy.

Then the chair was drug against the floor again, much closer this time. You popped your head up, a scowl still on your face, to see what was happening. Sunghoon had scooted it closer, and in his hands was another Valentine. You watched as he flipped the card over to the decorated side and skillfully pulled off the foam heart-shaped sticker, as if he’d had to do this thousands of times before.

His question is one you didn’t expect. “Where do you want to go?”

You look up at him, incredulous. “What do you mean?”

“Well, if you don’t have many friends here, you must want to be somewhere else?” Sunghoon shrugged, as if the thought made perfect sense to him. “Right?”

You pursed your lips, mimicking his shrug. “I guess you’re right...”

“Then,” Sunghoon began again, “where do you want to go?”

“Uhm, my house?” you answered. Crying on your fluffy bed would be much more comfortable than crying on this hard desk. Your arms were sore from resting on the edge and your back was stiff from the awkward angle.

Sunghoon shook his head. “No, think bigger. Like, vacation places and stuff.”

“Hmm... then, maybe, the big cities? The ones you always see in TV shows. And... the beach, because the ocean is really nice.”

Sunghoon nodded, diligently taking note of every place you suggested. His handwriting is a little crooked, but it fit on the now vacant front of a Valentine’s card. He looked up at you, eyes wide with question. “Anywhere else?”

You frowned, deep in thought. Then, as if someone tapped you on the shoulder and whispered it in your ear, an idea sprung to mind. “A really tall mountain, where it’s snowy all the time. No matter the season”

The pencil lead pulled across the paper, leaving information behind. Sunghoon returned to the top of the page, tapping the pencil’s eraser on the side of his cheek before scribbling a final note down. “There! It’s finished!” He slid it over in front of you.

You read the title of the list aloud: “The Wanderlist? But that isn’t even a word.”

Sunghoon shook his head. “It is now.” He leaned over, pointing at all the places you had stated. “And that’s everywhere we’re gonna go, because I’m your best friend now. We won’t be lonely, because we have each other. And we’re gonna travel all over.”

You sat up, leveling him a stare. “Well, this is gonna be expensive, you know. Trips aren’t free. They cost a lot.”

Sunghoon smiled, the kind that, even for a tin moment, makes everything seem like it’s possible. “Then we better start saving now!”

 ***

The pink paper stares up at you from its place on the dashboard, stuck with a random sticker right next to the air vent. The edges had aged, curling and warping, and your tear stains from 3rd grade are still faintly visible. You read over the list—your wanderlist, as Sunghoon had named it all those years ago.

1. Big cities (because TV) x2!!

2. The beach (because cool ocean)

3. Tall mountain (because always snow)

The big city had been marked off in 6th grade, when the class had a trip to the modern art museum, and again in 8th grade for a series of school-wide competitions, from writing and art to band to mathematics and science. Sunghoon had excelled at creative writing while you swept the math category for your region.

The beach was crossed off the day before the two of you left for college. How bitter it was that you had to be separated, together for ten years only to be settled in two different places. Yes, you weren’t that far away. A half day’s drive. But you both knew, deep down, how likely seeing each other was.

So you did something about it. The day before, you woke up before the sun. You loaded his car up with everything you would need for a daytrip, and you took off for the coast. You spent the whole day, afternoon, and evening parked at a spot on the beach. If you think about it now, you can still smell the seabreeze, imagine it in your hair. You can hear Sunghoon’s laugh, about what, you can’t remember. You do remember how happy you both were.

You remember sitting side by side, sharing a blanket over your shoulders as the seabreeze grew colder, watching the sun disappear on the horizon. You remember the thoughts you had–the ones you normally stamped down and annoyed. You should tell him. You’d been so close before. You wouldn’t even say the word to yourself, but you knew.

You didn’t say anything

“Can you believe these clouds?” Sunghoon says, slipping into the driver's seat and shutting the door. He places his keys into the ignition and turns like he always had. You watch the keychain you got him freshman year of high school swing from momentum. When you look back up, Sunghoon is watching you, leaning one elbow on the center console, hair in his eyes. “I suppose even the weather believes my sunny disposition is more than enough.”

“Oh, please,” you scoff, smacking his shoulder. You turn to look out the window, biting your lip. You’ve got to get it together. You blame that little girl from breakfast. You’d been doing just fine not thinking about Sunghoon in That Way. Now here you were, all these stupid feelings drummed up.

It doesn’t help that Sunghoon pulls out a cassette–MT-PSH-5–and pops it into the player. His smile grows wide as he turns out of the parking lot and onto the road, heading further up the mountain. “Nothing like some classic tunes.”

It was dumb. It didn’t mean anything.

It’s all you can think about.

Sneaking out late, hot summer heat still sticky and oppressing. You could feel the waves rise up from the concrete as it finally felt relief in the moonlight. You’d felt like dressing up, sneaking into your mother’s room and applying her fancy department store perfume to the nape of your neck. Your fingers gracefully found her pearls in the glass bowl on the dresser as you left, and you pulled them over your head, letting them rest against your collar bone. They’re still cool against your hot skin.

You escaped through the back patio, walking past the fist-sized hole in the drywall you wished you could forget about. The dusty edges kept raining down debris if someone walked too close to it. You let yourself out the gate in the fence, pulling it shut behind you. You felt for the keys to the front door in your pocket, and they jingled in response. You clasped your hand around the cool metal, the cuts sharp and edgy beneath your palm.

He met you at the corner of his street and yours, his dark hair swallowing up the soft moonlight. It made his features seem younger, softer. It felt like you were kids again.

You fell in line beside each other, walking the empty streets without fear. Who was to stop some teenagers walking the street at midnight? Random cars passed by, people finally returning home from the late shift but paying no mind to you two. And that was fine; you didn’t want them to care.

The black gates around the community pool glinted in the yellow streetlights, reaching out to you like a beacon. The closer you drew, the more the overwhelming scent of chlorine filled the air. You walked forward, hands in your jacket pockets, one wrapped tightly around your house keys. You took a deep, steadying breath. This was fine. You had this.

“Hey, [Y/N], do we really have to do this?”

You rolled your eyes, pulling your hands from your pockets and grabbing the top of the fence. You’d have to pull yourself up, and be extra careful of the metal pickets at the top. It’d be tough, but you could make it. “What?” you snapped back lightly, voice echoing amongst the night. “Scared of hopping the fence?”

“No, that’d be ridiculous,” Sunghoon replied, crossing his arms and shifting his weight to rest on one foot. “Jumping fences is nothing for me. Jumping fences into property that—” he pointed to a white and red sign just beside your knees. “—considers jumping fences into property after hours as illegal and trespassing? That sets me on edge.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes again. “It’s not like they’ve got police roaming around or anything, and the owner’s too cheap for security cameras. I’m sure if we tried hard enough, we could just pull the fence down instead of having to jump it.” For emphasis, you grabbed hold of the rods and shook. A loud metallic echo escaped into the night, and before you could pull back and shake a third time, Sunghoon had dashed to your side, placing his hands on yours to stop you.

His brown eyes caught the light as he shook his head back and forth and hissed, “If you’re going to do something illegal, do it quietly! Especially when I’m here.”

You leaned forward, head inching towards his, with a scowl on your face. “Then shut up and hop the fence.” You drew back, replacing your hands at the top and pulled yourself up and over with ease. Maybe mandatory PE did have benefits.. Your sneakers landed on the pavement, and when you stood upright from the landing, you stared at Sunghoon through the bars. “You can either join me,” you began, a smirk on your face, chin tilted up, “or you could just wait while I go and find my car keys.”

You turned on your heels, walking towards the lifeguard’s shack. You could have sworn the sigh you heard was strong enough to blow the fence down altogether

Your shoes scuffed against the concrete, and you felt the humid air of the pool spill over and try to reach out to you. Its arms clung and bit at your ankles as the water inside sloshed around with the teasing wind. You shook them off, changing course from the pool’s edge to the guard’s shack. The padlock on the door seemed old—really old—and you crossed your fingers before giving a giant tug and having it pop open in your hands.

The wooden door swung open and you stepped inside the dingy shack. Various lost pool toys littered the floor, and a box of deflated tricolor beach balls appeared to have seen better days. But you weren’t interested in any of that: you needed your car keys. Above you, nestled nearly at the top of the peaked roof was a loft filled with white plastic bins. One of them, you noted, was closer to the edge than the others, as if someone had lazily swung it up there.

You crossed your fingers again, reaching up to pull the basket down to you. “Please be there, please be there, please be there,” you chanted under your breath. You peered into the basket. On top, someone’s embroidered handkerchief. You pinched the soft material between your finger and thumb before tossing it aside in the basket. Someone’s crazy straw, two Rubik’s Cubes, a school ID lanyard, and—yes!

You fished your car keys out with one hand and swung the basket back up into the loft with the other. You turned to leave, ready to find Sunghoon, reunite with your car, and drive home, but before you can even take a single step back out you’ve run into something.

Or someone.

Your scream’s instantly shushed by your best friend, a single finger coming up against your lips. Sunghoon was so close, and you felt the pool humidity roll off his shoulders as he looked at you with confusion. “Are you done?” he asked. “And why are you screaming?”

You shook your head, holding up your keys. “Yes. Also, you scared me. How did you get in here? I didn’t think you’d hop the fence.”

“Didn’t have to.” Sunghoon held up a matching padlock to the one you’d pulled off outside. “Looks like the owner’s too cheap to buy actual locks for his gates. I simply walked in.”

You left the lifeguard’s shack, replacing the lock and headed for the entrance, where Sunghoon easily swung open the wrought iron gate. You walked towards your car as Sunghoon redid the lock, simply looping it through and clicking it shut.

You kissed your car keys and unlocked the doors, swinging down into the driver’s seat. Sunghoon slid into the passenger seat beside you, and as soon as his door shut, the engine was starting and you were pulling out of the parking spot.

“Let a guy put on his seatbelt first?” Sunghoon joked as he clicked his into place. “I don’t see you wearing yours, [Y/N].”

“Then you’re not looking close enough,” you replied, taking one hand off the wheel to pull at your own seatbelt. “Seems as if someone isn’t paying attention.”

“Forgive me, I was busy making sure no one saw our illegal activity. I would like to graduate high school next year with a clean record.”

You laughed something similar to a scoff as you flicked on your turn signal and made your way down his street. “You say that as if we robbed a bank. Is it really trespassing if the locks don’t even work? The wind could have undone them.” You turned to catch a glance at your friend, and what you caught was a judgmental glare in the green glow of the dashboard.

With a simple curve of the steering wheel, you pulled in front of his house. You shifted the car in park and rotated towards the passenger seat. “Thanks for breaking the law with me, Sunghoon. It means a lot. I’m touched.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. He leaned towards the door, making as if to pull the handle and open it, when he reached inside his pocket. His eyes lit up and he turned back towards you. “Oh, yeah!”

You shook your head, confused. You hold a single hand up. “Oh, yeah, what?”

“Here’s that mixtape you wanted,” Sunghoon answers, placing a cassette tape in your unintentionally outstretched hand. You scowled. You didn’t know how he had the technology to make a cassette in this day and age, but then again, you were the one with a car so old it still had a cassette player. You two were a pair, you supposed.

“When did you finish it?” you asked, spinning it around in your hands. The clear, Sharpie handwriting read MT-PSH-5 on the short white label.

“This morning,” he replied, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“Why didn’t you give it to me earlier, then?” You turn to look at him. The yellow glow of the streetlights blend in with the green of the dashboard lights. His eyes remained that entrancing brown color, though. Romantic and homey all at once, untouchable by any other shade.

Sunghoon shrugged. “Perhaps it was because you didn’t have a car to play it in when I finished it? It was unavailable to you, shall we say.”

“Ha, ha, very funny.” You kept turning the cassette in your hands, as if you’d find something new and exciting on each turn.

“Oh, and—” Sunghoon leaned across the center console, reaching to take the tape from your hands, like he had something to say or show you. But he stopped. His brows furrowed together, and he turned to you, face mere inches from your own. “Are you wearing perfume?”

You nodded. “Yeah. My mom’s, and I got mad at her since she got mad at me about the car so I...”

An eyebrow quirked up. “You’re showing your mom up by stealing some of her perfume?”

“It’s expensive,” you muttered, sliding down into your seat. “She’ll have to pay for it later. Literally.”

And with that, he laughed. Nice and hearty and his eyes turned into tiny crescent moons and you felt your heart flutter—something that had happened a lot as of late, and you’re not entirely sure why. Yes, Sunghoon was a good friend. A best friend. But that’s all he was. He—

“Hey.” Your attention snapped from a distance spot on the road over to him, and he felt even closer now for some reason. Your heart registered how soft he’d spoken and proceeded to beat faster because of it. His eyes searched yours, but for what you don’t know. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet. “Make sure you get home safe, okay? Wouldn’t want anything happening to the city’s greatest delinquent.”

“Yeah,” you laughed, but it was short and stilted. You barely heard what he said over the thumping of your own blood in your ears. You felt the red flush creep up your neck, dusting your cheeks and turning your ears a cherry color. When you swallowed, your mouth suddenly dry, all you could think about was how loud it seemed. Your grip on the mixtape tightened, it seemingly the only thing tethering you to the real world.

You couldn’t tell if the radio was one or not or whether you’d turned car off and left the keys in the ignition. All you could tell was Sunghoon, so close and so real he almost seemed unreal. And then it happened. He leaned in, eyes fluttering shut before placing a soft kiss on the side of your cheek, right next to your lips. It happened too fast and it was the slowest moment of your life all at once. Your heart was practically screaming now, hands rattling around the mixtape.

When he pulled back, he kept going, opening the car door and stepping out. Before closing it, he leaned in and nodded. “I meant what I said about getting back safely. Promise?”

You nodded. “I promise.” You were surprised your voice worked at all. That you were able to form a coherent, albeit a simplistic, sentence. That you could think at all. The door swung shut and you shifted the car into drive.

The whole way home felt automatic, limbs working separate from your internal instructions. When you returned home, you pulled up beside your mailbox and turned the car off, pulling the keys and letting them rest in your hand. You sat motionless, seatbelt still in place, as you stared, eyes fixated at someone mindless spot on the dashboard. The pearls were cool against your heated skin.

It was dumb. It didn’t mean anything.

It’s all you can think about.

You flip the mixtape over in your hands, reading the slightly-faded yet still legible handwriting. MT-HVC-5. You’d run through the songs already, and Sunghoon had switched to some CD mixes he had brought. Why he didn’t get a car with Bluetooth, something you’d done a while ago, you’d never know. Maybe that was part of his charm. 

You’d managed to learn to forget about that kiss, or at least ignore it. But Sunghoon pulling out the mixtape he’d given you that night pulls it back up to the surface. You aren’t even sure how it even got into his possession. The longer you recall the memory, the more you can feel the burn on your cheek from where his warm lips touched your skin. The rest of the flush comes back from how you wish so badly it would happen again.

  “What’s up?”

“Huh?” You turn towards his voice, away from the window.

“I asked what’s up,” Sunghoon repeats, looking over at you for a split second before returning to the road. “You seem like we’re on another planet.”

“Just thinking about when we were younger, you know...” Did he? What did you want him to think about? The day you’ve been obsessing over? And then what would he do about it? Pull over and confess? Kiss you, but mean it this time?

Sunghoon laughs, breaking your thoughts. He spares another quick glance in your direction. “Younger like what? Like third grade or two days ago?”

You reach across the center console to smack his shoulder. “Why would it be two days ago?”

“We were younger then. Wild, foolish.” Sunghoon takes one hand off the wheel and places his knuckles on his forehead. “The way we were is actually unimaginable now.”

“I’m done with you.”

Sunghoon scoffs. “Sure you are.” A quick beat, a hum to the music. “Anyway, what were you thinking about?”

You’re quiet for a moment. Then, “Do you think we'll change?”

“We have changed.”

“Really?” He said it so simply, it takes you off guard. You turn to look at him, even though you know he’ll keep his eyes glued safely to the road.

“Yeah,” he shrugs. “We’ve totally changed. We don't like the same kinds of music as the old us used to. We don't eat mac and cheese for every conceivable meal—except for the day after that one chem exam.”

“That final was hard!” You reach across the center console to shove at his shoulder–oh, god, why do you keep finding ways to put your hands on him?–earning a smug grin. “None of it was covered in class and you know it!”

“See what I mean?” Sunghoon asks. “We're different, but like, a good different. We’ve adapted.”

The silence that fills the car after isn’t weighty or overbearing. It’s comfortable and common, safe like a child-loved security blanket. Yet, somehow, your stomach fills with stones of dread, and all you want to do is sleep off any bad feelings.

You keep your eyes trained ahead, the curving mountain road, when you ask, “Do you ever think we'll be bad different?

Sunghoon spares a confused glance at you, brows knit together as he switches focus between you and the road. He shakes his head. “No, not us. Never us.”

“Is that a promise?”

The hand closest to you leaves the steering wheel and drifts over the center console, pinky out. “Always.”

You wrap your pinky around his, and try to ignore the heated flush you feel creeping up your neck and the backs of your ears. You focus, instead, on how real Sunghoon feels. How solid the mixtape is in your hands. How, here out in what feels like the middle of nowhere surrounded by evergreens and roadside snow piles that have started to pop up and tall mountain views, time doesn’t feel like it can get you.

Maybe he’s right.

Maybe, out here, there’s only good different.

Maybe, that’s all you need.

The clouds from the morning have turned darker, more potent. You can smell rain in the air, hear it as the wind rushes through the trees. It’s so cold though, you wonder if it will snow instead. The mountain weather you’d been looking forward to for so long.

Sunghoon knocks his shoulder into yours, cheeks pink from the cold. He swings your duffle bag towards you, letting go of the strap before you’ve gotten a good grip on it. “Your luggage,” he declares, before marching towards the hotel entrance.

You’d both decided, with your combined measly college student incomes, that wherever the last hotel would be, it needed to be the best you could afford. Standing in front of it now, styled like a fancy chateau with white walls and a red roof, you think the two of you made the right choice.

You had forgot what made such a nice place so affordable, until Sunghoon swipes the key, opens the door for you, gesturing for you to walk in first. The room is cute and delicate, with pretty yet aged wainscotting, petite floral wallpaper, a nice view of the surrounding mountains and–

And one bed.

You freeze. You can’t help it. Maybe the you from this morning, before that girl talked to you, could handle this. The you of right now? The lady at the front desk calling you a cute couple, and Sunghoon going along with it and not correcting her, didn’t help. You aren’t sure if you’re strong enough to keep everything the same.

“Rats,” Sunghoon says, and you breathe a sigh of relief. He’s not cool with this either, you think. He turns toward you with a coy smile. “I’m gonna go back downstairs and ask for more pillows. Three simply won’t cut it. Want me to ask for some fancy water?”

You shake your head, voice gone, and you don’t move until you hear the door shut behind Sunghoon.

And that’s when it starts, as you drag your feet in circles trying to think your way through this. Your hands clench and unclench, fists forming so tightly you leave half-moons from your nails in the fleshy part of your palm. Your breath comes ragged and shallow, and you feel like drowning, except from too much instead of not enough. Too many memories reminding you of too many things. Too many emotions leading to too many feelings you neither want to recognize or acknowledge.

But one keeps pushing its way to the forefront, demanding attention and definition. The one that’s been bothering you all day. It makes you dizzy, to the point you feel you need to lay down and clutch at your stomach. Maybe that’s it, you think as you sit on the edge of the one bed. You’re just sick. Breakfast was bad. But you know it’s not. It makes you angry, because how dare you feel this way about him. It makes you flustered, since you shouldn't look at your best friend's face and have your gaze wander to his lips and wonder what they'd feel like against yours.

It makes you happy, so undeniably happy that you feel like crying, because it feels so right. When you allow yourself to think more about it, and imagine what life would be like if you were able to confirm and agree with all the strangers who already think you’re dating. Lovers. It fills you up with breaths of fresh air to the point it's like floating on cotton clouds.

It makes you fearful. Its dark side claws at your heart, threatening to tear at the tender seams and leave you bloody and raw, so intensely damaged you're afraid of doing anything along the same lines. You had asked about a bad different, and Sunghoon said it wasn’t possible. Right now, you feel like you have to disagree–confessing this? Altering the relationship you’ve carefully crafted for so long?

That would be a bad different.

That’s why, when Sunghoon comes back, three more pillows and a bottle of sparkling water, you don’t answer. You roll over on the bed, curling up away from him, hiding with a pillow on your head. You hear Sunghoon say something about it being a long drive, and he gets it, you should rest. You hear him open the closet door, then feel the spare blanket get draped over you.

And, as you lay here, hot silent tears threatening to spill over and run down your cheeks, you let yourself think about it. You're in love with your best friend. Your nail-bitten palms come to swipe at your eyes, you make the mistake of sniffing aloud. Sunghoon calls your name, and you hate how much you savor the worry in his voice.

But, it’s also too much. He can’t know, you decide. Not now, not ever. That is what would be best, you decide, for the two of you. To be able to get through the rest of this trip.

“[Y/N], what is it?” he calls again. Sunghoon’s voice is laced with care, something tender and soft and so distinctly him it pulls at the tears in your eyes. How can he make this so unfair? “What's wrong?”

“You wouldn't understand,” you snap, pulling yourself to sit up, the pillow falling off. You don’t look at him, but instead at your hands, fists in your lap. Sunghoon easily notes your posture, and confusion floods his features. You hate how quickly he can figure out something’s wrong, that something is bothering you.

“Can I try to understand, at least?” You look up at him, lips pursed, tears smarting your eyes. You take him in–turned towards you in the chair, sitting on the edge, like he can jump to your rescue at any time. The confused look in his eyes hurts—you've always been straightforward with one another. But you know you can’t about this. “I can’t try to fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” 

     You shake your head, wiping one of your cheeks with your fingers, a half laugh falling from your lips. “No, Hoon it's—”

   “No.”

The force of the single word hits you, and it hurts more than the angry look in his eye.

   He stands, takes a step toward you, then sits hesitantly on the edge of the bed. He's close, and he's been closer, but it's still too much. The rushing sound is back in your ears and your heart pounds against your ribs, telling you to do something, anything, but you stay still.

   “Hoon—”

   “I said no, [Y/N].” Sunghoon’s words are ice, colder than the breeze outside and sharper than butcher knives. His eyes, once warm and homey, that romantic shade of brown you love, are now dark and piercing. “You don't get to call me special names when you aren't telling me what's wrong. When you aren't acting like the [Y/N] I've known since third grade.” His hands come up to run through his hair, and it flips slowly back into place. His voice drops, the softer, confused Sunghoon returning. “You've been acting weird this whole trip, and especially since this morning. It's driving me insane that I can't figure it out and fix it. I know you better than this.”

   He's so close, so, so close. Much too close. Somehow he’s scooted towards you on the bed. You can smell his cologne—when did he start doing that? Why hadn’t you noticed earlier? His eyes are back to the romantic brown, the warm and homey color, the ones that remind you of so many good memories—his eyes are so pretty. Your gaze follows its past patterns and drops to his lips, redder from being gnawed on with worry. A kiss would—

   A shaky breath leaves you, and you're talking before you realize, voice so small it's hard to hear. But Sunghoon is listening. He always does.

   You blink. “Do you want to know what's wrong?”

   “Of course. I need to know if I can do anything or—”

   “It's you.”

You want to be upset, angry. How dare it come to this. But you can’t, you realize. You can’t be angry at him. Whatever energy you had coursing through your veins leaves after your pseudo confession, and you turn away, resting your weight on the headboard, hoping he’ll go away. 

This, for certain, was bad different. You can feel it, weighing you down. Here, in a chilly, single bed hotel room, you’d ruined everything. Your brain told you to shut up, to be quiet, to try and save anything you could manage from this shattering relationship. But your mouth—or maybe your heart—kept going, and going, and going.

“It’s you,” you repeat, turning back towards him. He’s still there, frozen in place, face filled with concern. “It’s everything you do. The way you... you tell me bad jokes when I’m upset over a grade or make me mixtapes because you want to share your music with me. It’s–I’m–I’m sick of it. I hate it. I hate you”

Sunghoon recoils, eyes wide. He looks around the room, as if the answers to what to say are hidden around. He stands, backing up without turning away, like you’re something he has to keep his eyes on or he’ll get hurt again.

Again.

Sunghoon’s voice is flat when he speaks, like he’s out of breath. Shaky, like he’s about to cry, too. What have you done? “I’m… I’ll go downstairs and ask about if there’s anything nice around for dinner. I’ll–I’ll wait for you in the lobby. Whenever you’re ready, you know.”

Even now, after the nasty things–after I hate you left your lips–he’s still trying to make peace with you.

What did you do to ever deserve him?

And would he even stay with you once you return home?

The door falling shut is what starts your tears again. You slump down off the bed, between it and the window. You pull your knees up to your chest, put your head in your hands, and you cry.

***

It still isn’t over.

You’re breathing heavy, tears still stinging your eyes, but you aren’t sure if you’ve actually cried yet or not. Your fists are balled at your sides. Years of friendship are stuck in your throat, enough to make you want to scream or cry or vomit from the nauseous feeling it induces. The pouring rain, those clouds finally opening up, doesn’t help.

Dinner had been awful, awkward. The only person either of you talked to had been the waiter. You can’t remember what the food tasted like. You can’t remember what, if any, songs played on the radio on the way back. Sunghoon hadn’t bothered to pick anything out. All you could remember, or hear, or see in your head–I hate you. The look in his eyes. How he has barely looked at you since.

You aren’t sure what you have to do to get away, but you’d be willing to make a deal.

Anything to get away from this moment.

Anything to get away from your best friend.

Sunghoon stares at you like he’s only just now met you, and maybe he has. He’d stopped you halfway between the car and the hotel’s entrance, despite the rain. He’d called your name in such a way you froze. Your angered confession from earlier hangs in the air, untouched or acknowledged. A single parking lot light illuminates you two, dim yellow casting shadows through the rain.

“Do you mean that? What you said?” he asks, daring to step forward. You don’t move, anchored in place. By fear or something else, you aren’t sure. He takes another, then a third. The gap between you has been halved. “I know you don’t mean it. I’ve been thinking about it this whole time. You don’t mean it.”

“What makes you so sure?” you spit, taking a step closer in your upset. You level Sunghoon with a stare you hope is intimidating, bitter. You hope he sees the duress. You have to push him away. “I said what I said. I hate you, Park Sunghoon.”

The boy shakes his head, hair stuck to his forehead from the rain. He seems almost incredulous, and it angers you even more. Why doesn’t he get it? There’s a small smirk at the corners of his lips, but you’ve known him long enough to recognize it as mock confidence. “You didn’t mean what you said.”

“I did!” Another step, and now you’re nose to nose with him, staring into the eyes you’ve had memorized for so long, that romantic brown even in the rain and yellow streetlight. Your gaze betrays you and you drink in the slope of his nose, see how his eyes examine you as well. Note the downturn of his lips, almost unnoticeable. Your voice is weaker when you speak again. “I did mean it, Sunghoon.”

He leans in, closer and closer until he stops–a breath away from your lips. He freezes, closes his eyes, and waits.

And you cave, despite your best interests. You find yourself tilting your head and wishing he’d do something more. This can’t be how your first kiss with Sunghoon goes? When he pulls back, and you nearly stumble forward. You look up at him, and the smile on his face is no longer mock. You know what his question will be before he says it, and you know he’s caught you in your lie. “You hate me so much–why did you kiss me back?”

You want to spit back, I didn’t! You want to argue. But the truth is, ever since you’d remembered that day in high school, you’d been imagining what it would be like to actually kiss him, and again, and again. You wanted to know what kissing Sunghoon would be like, even if it meant redefining the relationship you worked so hard to keep as is. The one you said you hated him to protect.

Sunghoon gently cups the sides of your face, forcing you to look at him, and you see worry and concern etched into the space between his brows, spilt in the color of his eyes. “Tell me,” he whispers, voice almost breaking, “what’s wrong. Let me try to fix it.”

You shake your head, trying to form words to explain everything, but all you do is shiver drastically beneath his touch. You watch as Sunghoon’s eyes grow wide, and he leads you inside, arm over your shoulder. The woman at the front desks awards you a quirked eyebrow, but that’s all you get before she returns to her clipboard.

The room is icy cold when you return, but Sunghoon adjusts the temperature in silence. “You get dry first,” he says, pointing at the bathroom. “Take a shower and get warm.”

“But about you?” You want to point out the subtle shake in his hands, and the way his breath catches. “There’s not enough towels to share.”

“I’ll ask for more at the front desk. I’ll be fine. Go.”

The shower water never feels hot enough, but you do stop shivering. You do your best to towel dry your hair. When you peek the door open to see if he’s back, and if you could get your things, you see that Sunghoon has already done it for you. Everything you could need taken from your bag, folded and placed nicely right outside the door. You have no idea when he did it–you’re thankful he did.

When he comes back with extra towels–which, surely, did not take this long–you’re curled up on the bed, similar to before. You rest your weight on the headboard, looking out the window at how the rain patters against the glass. You wish you could see the stars.

Sunghoon is fast, but who’s to say? You aren’t exactly keeping track of time. You know he’s back because you feel the mattress shift. His voice is almost silent when he speaks. “Can we talk?”

“About what?” you ask, turning towards him. You haven’t seen Sunghoon look this tired in a while. And you know it’s your fault. “How I was mean to you?”

Sunghoon smiles, looking down at his clasped hands. He takes a moment to determine what he actually wants to say. “Let’s start with…what it is about me that made you say that?”

His eyes are pleading in the dark. The room is barely lit, the overhead light off. There’s just a lamp on the desk and the streetlight from outside. The rain sound is almost overwhelming in the silence. “If there’s something I’ve done that hurt you–”

“It’s not that. It’s–” You pause, trying to find the right thing to say. You decide to start with the obvious. “There’s a reason I kissed you outside.”

Sunghoon rolls his eyes. “Yeah, because I’m charming and irresistible.”

“This is serious!” You do what you always do when he makes some kind of quip–you reach out to push his shoulder, scooting closer, but Sunghoon catches you by your wrist.

“I am serious. Do you know how much you hurt me when you said you hated me?” He levels you a stare, one that makes you want to shrink away, but you can’t. “When I left, I didn’t ask the front desk about restaurants. I went to my car and sat down and cried because the person I love just said they hated me.”

“You love me?”

“Not like that,” he corrects, and now you have to know what he means.

“Tell me how then.” You take your free hand and grab his other wrist, a mirror of what he’s done to you. “When you say you love me, what do you mean?”

“It’s not like you think, not like what it has been.” Sunghoon looks down, takes a deep breath, then carries on.  “Not like friends, or like siblings, but like–”

“Lovers?” you offer.

Sunghoon swallows, sets his jaw. Then, “Yes. Like that. And I don’t know when it happened. I don’t know if it was overnight or gradual or all at once. I do know that I woke up one morning and I realized that I didn’t want to imagine my future with anyone else. And I didn’t want to see you with anyone else, either.”

“Kinda selfish,” you say.

Sunghoon laughs. “Yeah. I couldn’t help it.”

Somehow, you’ve both moved closer to each other. The knees of your crossed legs knock into each other. You still have a hold on the other’s wrist. Sunghoon levels you another stare. “Will you tell me why?”

“Why I said I hated you?” He nods, and you take a deep sigh. “Do you remember the night we snuck into the pool to get my car keys back?”

He nods again, a small smile on his face. “You mean the first night I got enough courage to kiss you? You looked so pretty, with the pearls and the perfume.”

You blush, hearing Sunghoon talk about you like that. “That night. I’ve been thinking a lot about it. And you know how all these people always say we look like a couple or whatever. And it all just stuck together and made me realize that I haven’t seen you like a friend in a long time. I’ve seen you like–”

“A lover?” Sunghoon offers, copying you from earlier.

You smile. “I said I hated you because I was afraid and overwhelmed, and I need you away from me. I thought that if you hated me, I could get over you and just move on. We could make up, and I wouldn’t have these feelings anymore, and we could go back to being friends.

“But if I’m being honest,” you add, moving even closer. Your shoulders knock into one other. “Even though it wasn’t even that long, those hours over dinner just now were some of the worst things I have ever had to do. I was ugly to you, Sunghoon, and you’re the last person on earth who would ever deserve to be talked to that way. But if you could forgive me, I…”

You try to look down again, but Sunghoon lets go of your wrist to place a finger under your chin, tipping your head up to his gaze. “You what?”

“I love you. I’m in love with you, I’ve been in love with you. I love you, Park Sunghoon.” You take a deep breath, just as lightning strikes somewhere far away and the thunder rumbles through the room. 

Sunghoon reaches out for you, his hands reach cupping your face again. It’s the most reverent you’ve ever seen him. His eyes roam over your every feature, as if you’ll break if he breathes too hard. It’s thrilling. “Genuinely?” he asks, voice fragile. “You love me?”

“Yes,” you whisper. It feels wrong to be too loud right now, like someone else could join in this moment between the two of you. “And if you would have me, I’d like to love you for a long time after this.”

Sunghoon pulls you to him, resting your forehead against his. He takes a deep breath. Then, “We’ve both just been really, really stupid about it, haven’t we?”

You laugh, savoring his touch and his warm and his smile. You stare into his eyes, those romantic brown ones you love so much. “I guess so.”

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, and your heart jumps. “I know we did outside, but that’s a terrible story for a first kiss.”

“And the one from so long ago doesn’t count, because you just gave me a kiss then,” you say, not sure why you’re rambling when you have the opportunity to just kiss him already.

So, you shut up, and you do.

This kiss is reverent, unlike any that came before. You probably shouldn’t even bother comparing them. Maybe it’s the intentions behind the kiss—that you both want to be here, doing this, for the sake of just being, not proving. Maybe it’s because it hasn’t followed any dramatic late night outings or arguments. Maybe, it’s how you shiver closer to his frame, hands on his shoulders, and his own find the small of your back. You feel his smile against your lips, and the butterflies against your ribs.

Maybe, you should have said something a while ago. You could have avoided the whole I hate you stint, but then would anything else have been dramatic? Some couples are like puzzle pieces, perfectly fitting together with no stress. And maybe you two are a puzzle, one that fits together with ease, but you both intentionally hid pieces from the other, making it difficult to complete. Maybe airing grievances is the only way to get all the pieces back on the table.

You sigh as Sunghoon’s lips travel from your own down the line of your jaw, tickling in a delightful way. You feel safe in his arms, a safe you’ve always felt, but now it feels like something more, something even greater. Your heart jumps, and you throw your arms around his neck, pulling him close. Sunghoon instinctively holds you tighter, his hands against your shoulder blades.

“What is it?” he asks.

You shake your head, finding any words to be incredibly difficult. “I’m just—I’m glad.”

Sunghoon pulls back gently, quirking his head to one side as he looks at you. He uses the pad of his thumb to gently wipe away a stray tear. “Glad for what?” he asks, still cupping your cheek.

You lean into his touch, feeling dizzy with excitement and relief. “Glad that it’s you,” you say, your voice quiet. You lean in, placing a chaste kiss against his lips and, for once, he’s the one to shiver. “I’m glad you’re the one I love. Glad we’re here now, finally.”

Sunghoon pauses. His eyes dart between yours, your lips, and back. He rests his forehead on yours again, and you can already imagine getting used to this, and craving it when you can’t have it. “I waited so long, and I didn’t even know if...” There’s a catch in his voice, and he sounds like he’s about to cry. When he opens his eyes, there’s an honesty to them, a gaze you’ve only seen in Sunghoon’s eyes a handful of times. He smiles, his eyes going soft once more, like you are the most beautiful thing he has ever beheld. And to him, you are. “I always knew we were meant to be.”

***

The lady behind the desk did, in fact, look at you two like you were crazy. The night before you were acting like you were gonna tear each other to pieces. But now you’re walking out in each other’s arms? His around your shoulder, yours around his waist?

The sun is out, and there’s hardly any evidence of the downpour from last night. Maybe the earth needed to be just as dramatic as the two of you.

With the luggage in back, you two climb into the front seats. Sunghoon leans over the center console to press a kiss to your temple, just like he did when you woke up in each other’s arms and just like he did when he insisted on getting you whatever you wanted for breakfast.

“That’s not something new though?” you laugh, as he brings you small portions of everything the hotel had to offer. “You did this before.”

“Well, it’s obviously different now,” he replies. “I didn’t get to kiss you before.”

Now, Sunghoon taps at the Valentine heart on the dash–your wanderlist. What started this all. “We need a new one,” he says. “It took us a while, but we did everything on here. Should the new one be full of cringey couple things?”

“Only if you’d like to go back to being single.”

Sunghoon fakes shock as he shifts the car into gear. “You wouldn’t.”

This time, you lean over to give him a kiss, and you relish how quickly he blushes. “You’re right, I wouldn’t.” You sit back down, still turned towards him, hand atop his. “Maybe, we make the list up as we go. I mean, we’ve never been here before.”

“Didn’t stop third grade us,” he says. “Honestly, they seemed like they had everything together. We should think more like third grade us.”

“You mean complaining about how much things cost? Because I can think of so many things we could do together that would put major dents in our wallets.”

Sunghoon turns to you, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and you know you’ve got this right, even if it took a while to get here. He reaches over, poking your cheek, before turning out of the parking lot. “Then let’s go find it, together.”

[iloveb1ur]

Colin didnt deserve Penelope

i didnt believe that colin deserved penelope or even properly liked her for who she is as a person but instead liked the valedation he got from her.

i know this is contreversial but hear me out ,

colin's whole character arc is based around the fact that he for one isnt taken seriously by his family and second that he doesnt know who he is. he's the third son in a rich family and doesnt really stand out in any way.

so penelope who always since their first meeting has looked at colin like he hung the moon and always cared for him greatly is always going to appeal to him because she makes him feel important and valued.

i also was not convinced that colin wasnt just sexually attracted to Pen, like the proposal in the carriage scene when he fingered her was not romantic at all.

listen, its probably different in the book but i felt that the showrunner and screenwriters didnt believe in polin's romance enough so filled the story with 94 other sideplots. this is a shame because there is so much potential with polin and they just fumbled the bag MASSIVELY.

childhood best friends to lovers is literally my favourite trope for so many reasons - i just fw the slowburn for like 16yrs lol. but WE DIDNT SEE THE RELATIONSHIP ENOUGH it was so rushed. WE DIDNT EVEN SEE THE FIRST TIME PEN AND COLIN MEET WHAT A FLOP, they had a scene where they talked about it WHAT HAPPENED TO SHOW NOT TELL GUYS.

and i get we need the whistledown reveal but i genuinely believe that people dont watch bridgerton for drama and suspense but for good romance, period drama vibes and hot men and women.

i just didnt believe in the romance guys im sorry and this obviously has nothing to do with luke and nicola i love them both dearly but both me and my friend rose were left feeling indifferent by season 3's main couple.

but i promise there was a lot i did love about bridgerton s3 like francesca and john, eloise and cressida and the bridgerton family together as a whole!

anyways, if you like me are a massive bridgerton fan you are definitely going to love the podcast episode me and my friend rose recorded talking all things bridgerton s3! we deepdive and expand on what ive talked about here in regards to pen and colin's romance, why we love francesca and john and talk on ALL the side plots. its basically an hour of us unpacking all things bridgerton s3 and theres certainly a lot to like!

the link is at the top of this post and the episode is also available on spotify, apple podcasts and amazon podcasts on the confession club podcast where we talk a lot about our fave romance media!!

i hope you enjoy and thanks for reading :)

[draftmlpfim]

rating all mane six ships

just the monogamy ones sry guys </3 feel free to request ones i haven't done if you want in my askbox

twilight x pinkie 6/10 - i like it esp w rarijack and flutterdash, but im a big fan of single twilight idk why. i might be remembering incorrectly but i think i really shipped them when the movie came out bc they had scenes together in that which were cute

twilight x dash 7/10 - ngl kinda interesting, esp w that episode where twilight teaches dash the history of the wonderbolts, but again single twilight is top tier

twilight x aj 8/10 - favorite twilight ship within the mane six. sry guys but her and aj are the most mature imo and they are the moms of the group so this makes sense to me

twilight x rarity 2/10 - eh not interesting to me

twilight x fluttershy 5/10 - kinda neutral, a little interesting but not really

pinkie x dash 3/10 - idk why it was always so important to me but i think they're closer than they are w the rest of the mane six, but i dont think it would ever be romantic. i blame that one tea party playset they came in together (w celestia for some reason) that labeled them as "pony friends forever"

pinkie x aj 0/10 - even if they aren't technically related, they call each other cousin n shit so that's gross

pinkie x rarity 6/10 - only bc rarijack <3 and im a shitty multishipper, but they are very cute and compliment each other in a unique way. wish we had more episodes with them being the focus

pinkie x fluttershy 1/10 - sry this wouldn't work. nine out of ten times pinkie is the one triggering fluttershy's anxiety lol

dash x aj 4/10 - i know they're technically canon and i think butch x butch ships need to happen in media more, but i just never really saw it happening. also multishipper thing and flutterdash rarijack, but i honestly did not see romantic chemistry between them

dash x rarity 8/10 - purely for the plot. this would be really really interesting

dash x fluttershy 100/10 - my personal favorite mlp ship. canon for me, childhood friends to lovers, even funnier that fluttershy's brother is so annoying at dash. also love that they have lunch with fluttershy's parents and i imagine that after that one ep they do it w dash's parents too

aj x rarity 10/10 - im such a sucker for opposites attract so :) also i like the idea that they're the type of couple that's hardly ever together but when they are its so perfect and they make each other so happy :)

aj x fluttershy 7/10 - cottagecore lesbian ship cool

rarity x fluttershy 5/10 - similar to my feelings about pinkiedash, i can only really see them being super close friends sry

other popular ships here

[white-dress-dyed-red]

Why was it her?

Hello im Sua im 23 years old i’am-was a contestant on season 50 of alien stage.

I really don’t know why I created this account maybe as a way to distract myself or connect with old friends I-im not sure.

I had- have a wonderful girlfriend Mizi she’s my clematis the light of my life.

Please don’t join alien stage it’s really not worth it even if it looks like it would be a fun experience please don’t do it.

————————————————————————

Survivor Sua au lore

Takes place in an au where Mizi lost round 1 despite Sua purposely sabotaging herself.

The events of alien stage play out except with Sua taking the roll of Mizi (eg her singing ruler of my heart with Luka and picturing Mizi in his place and joining Hyuna in the rebellion)

My girl is not doing okay at all someone please help her.

As of her lovers death she’s turned reserved and lost her will to live.

Actively trying to discourage young children and aliens from participating in alien stage.

————————————————————————

Headcanons I’ll be using for this au

.Shes a lesbian

.she and Ivan are siblings with her being a year older than him

.after Mizis death she faces survivors guilt and ptsd

.Has a soft spot for little children

.Was okay with/neutral to Luka until he started to imitate Mizi

.Used to dislike Till for his crush on Mizi but is slowly warming to him

.Often thinks about what went wrong with her plan to lose

.Hallucinates Mizi being there when she’s gone

.isnt sure how she got as far as she did

.Sua is a hypocrite

.Sua self sabotages herself

————————————————————————

Dynamics with the others in this au

Mizi - she was her everything, Mizi a beacon of hope in the dark world they lived in. She brought life back to Sua’s eyes and her optimism inspired her to keep singing.Sua hoped that her plan would work so that Mizi would keep on living and hopefully win alien stage and live the hopeful life she deserves.after her death Sua lost a piece of her soul it was as if the universe was mocking her Mizi was upbeat,friendly and very kind everything Sua wasn’t. Mizi wanted to live on Sua wanted to be dead for her lovers freedom. It was unfair and life has lost its meaning for her.

Ivan -he was her younger brother (even if it was by a year) she had always known they were related but was unsure if he knew.they didn’t always get along but Sua looked out for him in her own way listening to his rants and comforting him .before her and Mizi got together she and Ivan would talk about their respective crushes together both knowing what it was like to experience unrequited love(💀) . She really enjoyed their little conversations they’d have in the anaky gardens even if she never showed it.after his death she was crushed she believed he would last long enough for him to be rescued reuniting the two. She really misses him and wishes they could have had more time together.

Till - Sua wasn’t a big fan of Till when they were little kids because of his crush and friendship with Mizi. She’d often avoid him only interacting with him when it was necessary and for Mizi’s sake. She had no idea what Ivan saw in him although Sua could never fully hate him because of what Ivan said about him.As of now she’s warmed up to him letting go of her childhood envy. After his death she feels regret and wishes they could have been closer.she feels like she failed him maybe if she had been there a few minutes earlier he would still be here.

Luka- She was neutral towards Luka she was more focused on dying and reuniting with her love than pay any particular attention to her opponent. Her neutrality weared off as soon as Luka started imitating Mizi tormenting her with the memories and death of her late lover.she was horrified by how accurate his body language was to hers and snapped violently attacking him until Hyuna rescued her. Sua is pissed at Luka because he didn’t need to imitate Mizi and if he hadn’t Sua would have lost and be reunited with her lover again most of her anger for him is misplaced and mixed with her own guilt.she understands he was just trying to live but he didn’t have to stoop that low :/

Hyuna- after joining the resistance Sua grew really close to Hyuna the two developed a close bond sharing experiences about loss and talking about what was on their mind. Sua imprinted on Hyuna viewing her as an older sister figure and Hyuna took her under her wing subconsciously treating her like her younger brother. Sua followed her around for her first few weeks in the rebellion and Dewey and Isaac would joke about her being Hyuna’s little duckling which deeply annoyed Sua.

(Will add on S!Sua’s relationship dynamic with alien stage ocs I’ve interacted with only if the oc creator is comfortable with it)

————————————————————————

Tagging

#s!sua

#s!sua reblog

#s!sua answers

#s!sua rp

#my clematis/mizisua

#im holding on till I see you again/missing mizi

#my god my universe/mizi

#s!sua&till

#s!sua&ivan/#protective sister sua

#s!sua&hyuna

#s!sua&luka

#s!sua&oc

————————————————————————

Ooc

If you know me you don’t

Blog is run by a minor so please don’t be weird or ill lobotomise you

Oc accounts are free to interact I genuinely adore peoples original characters

No nsfw asks please

Blog will be ooc at times

The only ship im willing to do is MiziSua

That’s all I think

————————————————————————

[autisticempathydaemon]

sorry if this is a lil long (￣□￣;)!!

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

there are a few albums (igor, damn., songs) ive been listening to on loop for a few weeks now, but if i were to narrow it down to one song it would be “forwards beckon rebound” by adrianne lenker ^_^. i liked it when i first listened to the album in full but then found out my boyfriend liked it, so i LOVE it now. 

What is your Enneagram type?

INFP-T, 4w3

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i LOVE them!! i really enjoy jacob geller’s video essays, specifically his video “how can we bear to throw anything away?”. i think its SUPER cool and very poetically justifies my hoarding. though for GARGANTUAN, i like flawed peacock’s 7 hour and 42 minute video on “who’s lila”, which i still havent finished.

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

when i was around 9 i used to be called “daffodil” when teased so i turned daffodil into my alter ego and spoke to her with pure hatred

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

most of the time i scroll and scroll and scroll until im about to pass out from exhaustion, but when im NOT doing that, either put on music or a sleep aid audio n stare at my ceiling til i fall asleep.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

im trans and have been out to my friends for around 3-4 years now, and i changed my name to my current one due to dissatisfaction with my previous name choice and my fixation on the character i named myself after.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

ashers 2021 hbs. its so sweet and silly and full of love <3 i love asher and i love fluff :3

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

guy. hes alright but i just dont see the appeal character-wise. hes kind of just erik’s self-insert or low-effort character which is great for him but not that interesting for me.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

book + movie: the perks of being a wallflower, and tv show: brooklyn 99. i was DEEPLY into tpobaw a few months ago and finished the book (with annotations) in 4 days. charlie kelmeckis is me!! as for b99, its my comfort show and i’ve rewatched it at least 6 times in full.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

caelum :3 i need to hug him asap!! need to bake with him!!

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

no specific topic, but ill start talking about how much i love something or someone. tired me is very loving. according to my best friend i talk a lot about my boyfriend when im sleepy.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

diet coke and ice cream ^_^ 

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. 

there are a few, but my top three are a playlist containing every alex g song i like, a playlist full of love songs of all different genres and artists, and a playlist i made in 2022 when i was into more obscure rock ^_^. but mostly i listen to adrianne lenker or kendrick lamar on shuffle.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

video essays talking about drake vs kendrick. i swear ive watched over a hundred videos related to that drama, mostly cause i love kendrick so much and have been a drake hater since 2015. 

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

im a big lover of the arts!! both visual (i draw both traditionally and digitally, and have tried painting) and musical (big music fan + very amateur singer and guitarist). i really like movies, but i like movie analysis youtube videos more! in that same vein, i love horror media but am too scared most of the time to actually consume it, so i watch a lot of horror explanation or analysis videos.

im an extremely awkward person to talk to, like severely. also i like minecraft a lot, avid hermitcraft watcher.

Type Fours are so lovely, so internally complex and magnificent and creative despite and perhaps in conjunction with their introversion. I think a fellow introvert would especially appreciate that about you- Anton, specifically.

Another reason I like y’all together is this enneagram type (and MBTI) tends to be very feelings based, very pathos motivated, and that would contrast from Anton whose life and job are so technical, so logos-y. You bring so much light and verve into his life; whenever he sees art, he thinks of you and how it would make you feel. You make him think more about how he feels, you know? The art you create and the way you experience art, the way you enjoy things, makes him marvel.

And you do love to enjoy things with him, to show new things and movies and shows, because his marvel in turn makes things even more fun for you! Anton strikes me as the type of guy who knows nothing about pop culture if left alone, so you get to show him everything. He likes Brooklyn Nine Nine a lot more than he thought. (Terry is his favorite; he also likes yogurt and wants to be a girl dad.) He doesn’t give a single shit about the Kendrick/Drake beef but you’re so animated when you talk about it, he listens raptly. He doesn’t really enjoy horror, but it doesn’t scare him either so he’s a comforting presence whenever you decide to try watching some.

Song:

A volcano erupted/ And the stars fell one by one/ And finally I'm done right/ And it's a kite trapped in my mind/ But I don't mind/ I think of your hands on my body/ And they feel nice/ Just one more night

(Thank you again, Spotify Artist Radios, because I don’t listen to a lot of folk! This is a new song for me!) I chose this one for you and Anton because of the phrase “velvet kind of mood”, because it makes me think of how Anton’s love would tactile-y feel- warm, plush, heavy like a weighted blanket and just as comforting. The lyric “just one more night” also made me think of Anton holding onto you the night before he leaves, so I could not resist.

Runner-ups:

Geordi is the first runner-up that came to mind because he strikes me as the most… artistically inept of the redacted bois if you will- thus, he would feel the most awe and reverence and your prowess. Plus, I like to headcanon him as trans, and we love a t4t couple. Asher is my favorite runner up for you though, but I can’t quite word why. I think it’s something about his extrovert energy against yours.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[crguang]

childhood friends to anything else is actually so important to me. like childhood friends to strangers w some level of unrequited love? like idk the your absence shaped me in ways your presence couldn't? is always so ugh, like the bittersweet stuff if they ever meet again and one of them is so changed in their time apart and it'll just never be like that again. was rereading some greek myths, the tragedy and like lost opportunity and the yearning is always amazing. but like that au fits so well w kafka, i was thinking abt it and the au also kind of reminded me of the one from folklore, like if you wanted me you really should have showed and if you never bleed you're never gonna grow, but we were smth don't you think so. but also im being kind jumping the gun and being self indulgent rn like what if come back...be here from red. like "told myself don't get attached but in my mind I play it back," if I had know what I know now I never would've played no nonchalant," idk...

ok I saw ur posts abt cheryl having like inconsistencies, and like a slight southern accent, but i personally don't hear it. speaking from experience when I open the game but accidentally just listens to kafka's voicelines (I still smile every time, i even still giggle sometimes, smth is very wrong w me), but idk abt more recent stuff. i also just don't like southern accents, so I might be in denial. and yeah there's barely any fics w her nowadays (she needs to come back fr), but also your kafka is just like...the best. revolutionary in fact, like you get her so bad.

-🌠

ANONNNN I LITERALLY LISTEN TO THE 1 WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT THAT AU… ITS THEM. “i persist and resist the temptation to ask you if one thing had bene different, would everything be different today?” and “in my defense, i have none for never leaving well enough alone, but it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one” IS SO KAFKA STILL REMINISCING A DECADE LATER. folklore is a must whenever i write them, you should listen to seven as well it’s my favorite song from the album and captures the innocence of childhood so well. i was never a childhood friends to lovers fan but they changed my perspective fr. the bittersweetness is killing meee i cant handle this angst of grieving both what could’ve been and what has been, i just want my girl happy😞 when the person you’re missing is right in front of you but not there at the same time how do you even process that. you should watch the movie past lives they’re literally that movie to me

i dont hear the southern accent either, in my opinion she just sounds lazy/bored at times but maybe it’s cause im not attuned to all the subtleties in her pronunciation so perhaps there are traces of it and i just dont hear it😭 i also still giggle whenever she says the “thanks, you’re too good to me” healing voice line hdjsnfnfjfjggjjdjdhd cause i am too good to her actually. also “oh, bye bye~” will always get me idccc she sounds so cute im gonna die like that’s my baby

i should go scout ao3 for kafka fics its the only platform i havent gone through yet, tumblr fics just tend to be short and sweet thats why i like it there but there’s nothing lately oh my days we’re in a drought. at least we still have artists😣

[leclerced]

wait I’m dying to know why Carlos isn’t bunny’s boyfriend if he loves her and they have this bond and everything

is it possible he was a boyfriend and the move to Ferrari felt like enough of a betrayal for them to break up? if so, why would they still be hooking up? how does Oscar fit into the hierarchy of preference given the Carlos of it all?

(she says knowing full well she would definitely pick Carlos over… everyone? some days not Danny but you would have to pry that man out of my cold dead hands lol)

ugh preemptive apologies for my word vomit 😭 i just smoked and i kept trying to condense my thoughts and i cannot so here u go.

so to me, there’s like timeline i want to write fics based on? like certain asks that i get that i’ve strung together in my head. i could go through them and try to make a timeline if yall wanted?? like td we talked ab how lando and her meet and it’s like at a grocery store at the end of his rookie season. she’s a virgin. he’s like her first real kiss so they might not even fuck until months or almost a year into their relationship bc he’d want to take it slow, he’s traveling all over the world and she’s in school and can’t travel with him plus its super early on so she wouldn’t even if she could bc that seems too serious to do with her first boyfriend ever yk? they don’t start fooling w the grid around until this current season when oscar is his teammate, and max is the first one. so she has no feelings for carlos in my head. we talked about it briefly but she doesn’t have feelings for anyone else really? she cares about some more than others and certainly loves some but she’s in love with oscar and lando they’re her sun and moon!! she falls for oscar bc he’s very respectful of her and lando’s relationship and her as a person, he’d remind her of how sweet lando was to her early on in their relationship and she can’t help but fall for him.

but bc its just an au we can talk ab anything. when ppl send asks ab like carlos and lando being teammates and bunny liking them both im not gonna correct them and be like “bunny was an innocent virgin who just met them both, she would cry if she knew the dirty things carlos wanted to do to her” bc now that we talked ab how they met, they’d be going into 2020 and their last season as teammates, and she would have just met lando in the off time yk? so realistically she’s not having sex w lando and much less carlos when they’ve only met a few times when she has time off school to go see him.

when i get asks ab like carlos and lando being teammates and dating bunny i just like assume theres a dif backstory like childhood friends to lovers or smth? they’re like 16 yrs old and she’s nervous ab her first date so lando offers to teach her how to kiss. then it could be a cute lil thing where she doesn’t even go on the date bc she’s too busy kissing lando and then he makes up for it by taking her on a date ! she’s by his side thru everything instead of a sebastian vettel fan who meets him in a grocery store. then when he makes it to f1 maybe they have a threesome w carlos and they get attached even though they shouldn’t and it keeps happening. then carlos leaves them for ferrari. they’d try to be distant w daniel but he’s so smiley and cuddly with all his friends and they can’t take it and wind up wrapped in his sheets too. then he leaves and they meet oscar and the pattern repeats itself ! in some brainrots her and lando will pine after carlos if thats what ppl wanna send asks about and i’m gonna run w it and write brain rots about it. but if i write more one shots in the universe i’m gonna follow a set timeline based on certain asks bc they don’t all work together in a realistic timeline. i hope this makes sense.🫶🏻

[officialgleamstar]

O, Z, and G!!

fandom meme :D

hi atlas! wahoo (i dont know why i started saying wahoo so much in the past few months. hm. need to track the source of that later)

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

well i hit shuffle and got Hero by Family of the Year. which um. well. obvious choice. thats a Hero Swallows-Oak-Garcia song forever and not just because of the title LOL

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

god this is so hard, im really bad at just rambling off the cuff. I MEAN IM NOT, i talk like i get paid for it, but im bad when prompted to. god. uhhh. i think its really interesting to explore how different people in the dndads fandom see like, the friendships between the kiddads? because i know that i have very particular ideas in mind (pre-canon, grant and nick were childhood friends, nick and terry jr were best friends, the twins didnt talk to people. post-s1, grant + sparrow besties, nicky + lark besties, and sparrow and lark war over terry jr because they both think he prefers them. terry refuses to let either win because he sees all of them as his best friends and gets stressed when pressured to choose), but everyone has really different opinions on how their dynamics would all work out! im particularly fond of people that are like "these guys are all just best friends" because honestly thats so real LOL

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

I DOOO, at least my first big one at least, lmao! it was spamano as in spain and romano from hetalia which is um. unfortunate for me. but they just captivated me. definitely why i'm so fond of sunshine/grumpy ships nowadays, i think a lot of it comes from like... i was depressed from a very young age and i felt like it made it really hard to deal with me? obviously, now im loveable and precious and chipper (picture me tossing my hair over my shoulder like a mean girl), but i had a hard time making friends as a kid/in high school. so ive always been attracted to ships where one person is seemingly really dislikable, but the other person still finds something desirable in them. also, i just really love relationships where the people in it fucking hate each other LMAO (which is ironic because i don't particularly like enemies to lovers... we all have layers i guess)

[cyberdragoninfinity]

For the ask thing: Yami Yugi?

favorite thing about them: i love that even with his very intense and somewhat serious demeanor he's just this kid who has so much love for his friends in his heart. he's got cool stepdad vibes crammed into the body of a teenager. also his dub voice is just so iconic, gotta shout it out. dan green ya dont miss!!!!

least favorite thing about them: maybe just....oversaturation of his character? which of course makes sense, hes practically the mascot for the entire franchise, but still!! him and kaiba dominating like 90% of DM merch is a little exhausting sometimes (*niche character liker*) also his whole thing with being from a monarchy responsible for mass murder is its whole other can of worms, but memory world on the whole has. issues. 🥴

favorite line: on the whole i'm not the biggest fan of season 0/early manga yami yugi but "THINK ABOUT THAT....IN THE HOSPITAL" is a bit of manga dialogue i crack up about constantly. don't aim yoyos at people.

brOTP: him and yugi of course...... i dont see them as lovers and not just besties but a secret third thing. see below. ALSO i love love love his bond with mana and mahad ;___; childhood friends!!! please!!!!!

OTP: i actually dont really have one?? Atem is aro to me, I don't really feel strong attachment to any of his ships! in theory i would like yami yugi/dark magician (atem/mahad) if atem wasn't 16. ah well.

nOTP: lol. lmao. cant really say im that big into puzzleshipping as a romantic ship, im afraid. like i definitely get Why so many people like it, but them in a romantic context does absolutely nothing to me. that pair is so much more compelling to me as a platonic soulmates type thing. shrugs.

random headcanon: aro, autistic, would get really into cooking and grilling if he had his own body and was allowed to live post-canon. you can pry grilldad atem from my cold dead hands.

unpopular opinion: i like yugi himself more than i like yami yugi (dont get me wrong, I like him, but I wouldn't put him in my top favorite DM characters list), and also. i feel like there's a little bit of a fandom wide desperate clinging to his season 0 "edgy demonic possession guy who KILLZ people!!!!" thing and im just not especially into it. there's a lot more to him than that. OH ALSO i think what s4 of the anime did with him is genuinely so compelling and interesting. SHRUGS.

song i associate with them: i dont really think i have one unfortunately!

favorite picture of them:

love wins :)

[seishun-emergency]

Hm, maybe I was a bit too rough with my last ask! Hehe! So my next batch will be dubbed "mermaid anon's little sillies": Torikasa, Yuuta/Shinobu, Nazuna/Kuro, and Hiyojun (yesyes it's the third time I'm asking about an eden ship but I care them; you might as well complete the square with Jun/Ibara and Hiyori/Nagisa while you're at it lol)!

LOL "rough" is a way to put it . more just "are these opinions that could get me cancelled????? probably not but should i be worried about it?????" ive had some horrid fandom experiences before dont worry about it you're completely fine

mermaid anon's little sillies .... i like what we have going on here tbh !!! all fun ships

torikasa - YES. yes. i am such a fan of torikasa . childhood friends to rivals that genuinely respect one another . also the princess/knight motifs MMM i will eat that shit up always. they do care about each other sooo much inspite of/because of their rivalry and want 2 push each other to become better and not fall too far behind the other.... im obsessed w them so deeply. also their banter is so funny tsukasa seems so constantly done with tori and tori is like hehe. tsukasa will haaaate this . going to tease the shit out of him. and then he does

yuushino - yknow i know less abt their actual canon dynamic than i'd like to admit (i STILL have not found a tl of shiny first years) but i do know that they're friends!!! and quite good ones at that :> from what i know abt them i get the idea that they care abt each other a lot and they're very important to one another. they seem very calm and stable as a romantic pairing (aside from yknow . the usual that comes with being a teenager in love)

the rest of the polyeden square - i could literally talk about polyeden forever i hope u kno. i think hiyojun are fun tbh !! there's a Bit of a power dynamic thing w the context of how reimei works but honestly i think even as hiyori plays into the jun being his pet/servant bit, he still makes sure to recognize jun as his whole, own person. he's said that he picked jun for a reason and because he sees qualities in jun that he admires, and hiyori's so outright about love and the love he has for his unitmates . jun also isn't afraid to call hiyori out on his shit. also they just have such a funny dynamic they contain multitudes and the multitudes are so funny. nagihiyo are just . they are so in love and devoted and important to one another. childhood friends to lovers real i think theyve been at least a little in love with each other their entire lives. they also see each other as equals which is sosososo important for both of them - nagisa in particular esp considering Why hiyori's family took him in but i think nagisa bein able to recognize hiyori and see how hiyori stands out and see him as more than the second tomoe son is really important 2 their dynamic. jun and ibara :3 i like that they call each other soulmates as a bit but also like yeah. they get each other. they're both really determined hardworking ppl who have 2 deal with nagisa and hiyori's insanity and also have a harder time accepting love or being vulnerable due to needing to be strong as means of escaping some of their hardships in the past. also its like girlboss4malewife u know . girlboss ibara comes back from a hard day in the office to her quiche-making boywife jun sazanami

[captainaikus]

Oh ew the OF accounts and sex bots are completely getting out of hand. I haven’t been notified of any new followers but I don’t trust tumblr to do so. I’m have to gonna check on that soon 🙄🙄.

And seriously for what reason are people flagging down your works for like 😭😭?? It literally makes no sense??? Some people are so rude and mean and spiteful for no reason like. Do better or screw off unintentionally quoting Ego here I’m sorry that this happened to you, it really sucks.

Ever since break started I’ve been in a kind of limbo. It feels so surreal not having any work to do. I mean I do have basic chores to do today like the laundry and vacuuming and stuff but besides that it’s a free day. I am. Very very very. Temped to start reading the blue lock manga. I know I said I’d wait for the anime to finish but like I need something to do 😭😭. I was starting my first TR reread since the last chapter but I only got in 3 chapters before I started sobbing and I haven’t even gotten to Akkuns first death or met Mikey and Draken for the first time again yet. I’m gonna have to chunk my way through it while sobbing and taking so many breaks because I will seriously never recover from this manga. OH AND I LOVE CHIFUYUS BIRTHDAY ART. Wakui continuing to attest that yes takefuyu are still canon in the reset timeline. It’s such a relief for me because those two are my comfort duo 😭😭😭. I also want to finish Chainsaw Man soon. I stopped at around volume 9 because I’m broke and was reading it at the bookstore and all I can say is that this series is definitely getting a reread cause I love analyzing strange works and concepts. THE MAITAKE COVER ASJKGFJKHFFGGG. The way I screeched when I first saw it like. I love how you worded it, they literally look like royalty together UGH. Suffice to say that yes maitake fans has a field day with the cover of volume 31 😌😌. I cant wait for the inside cover to be revealed. My prediction/demand is that it’s gonna be then as children childhood-friends-to-lovers. But I guess we’ll see.

Anyways. How are you Belle? Doing better I hope? How’s uni? Oh and when does your winter break start? How’s life? Im so happy tumblr is being cooperative now and letting you see my tagged posts 😭😭. Sorry for the constant tagging tho, there’s just so much I wanna share and I see something and I’m like “oh I wanna show this to Belle” you know? Oh and im so glad you liked that Oliver drabble 🥹🥹. I’ve got another one in mind for him but this time it might be a little more ✨spicy✨ so stay tuned 👀👀😌. I hope you have a great day and that the caramel frappuccino tasted great!!! *sending many virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

Istg- i got followed by accounts from Czechia and Carolina this morning. Alright, I made my pinned post of Gojo's OF account but this is a writing blog; not even an OF promotion blog (╥﹏╥) unless... i draw some stuff

Tumblr decided to not let me post my rant- so here’s what I had to say

I revisited my childhood with watching DBZ... (i knew i said i would start one piece but the gym bro-ness got the better of me and i started watching it) someone please explain why does Goku's voice sound... i don't know how to describe it. i was so shocked about his voice, i was planning on watching the dub instead cause of it *crying* Honestly, Wakui did a really good job with the cover. Even when I was reading mangas online - I was so awed by the covers of the manga and when TR was on its peak here, i saw a lot of spoilers for bonten mikey. I never liked mikey... but this made me change my mind. And they (like every cover character i saw up until the Brahman arc looked like royalty. Even hanma-) I'm doing well! Contemplating to change the blog theme for some reason. It's not gonna be aiku ofc- he gets 0 screen time cause he hasn't come back from italy and i am mad at him with part 1 to ocean hues I'm on my winter break actually and omw back home. Fifa knocked the wind out of me. I feel sad cause Mbappé played really well (and he was sad too when they lost), i literally went to go keep my plate and he scored in 97 seconds of the first goal T.T . But i'm also really happy for Argentina cause its the first time in 36 years since Maradona that they have won the Wc and i cried cause they were crying on the field not to mention the fact that Messi played in their team as well - so it was bittersweet ending but also very well deserved! And yes i am a football head I can't see you in my activity still (maybe your visibility switch is off? i'm not sure) but i do get the number on my activity and that's how ik that you're there (⑅ •͈ᴗ•͈ ) I actually don't mind being tagged! and I enjoy the things you have to show me as well ૮⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝ ა (i saw some stuff where you tagged me- i'll be answering those soon, promise i'm not ignoring you ૮(˶˃ᆺ˂˶)ა ) I. absolutely. loved. the Oliver drabble ˃̵ᴗ˂̵. I still read it btw, cause it is absolutely precious. the deer headrest and the fact he wants to be a good boy made me go (๑✪ᆺ✪๑) did you say spicy 💀 *here lies Isabelle Aiku; beloved wife of Oliver Aiku who is unaware that he is married to her- * Starry you're gonna make me combust from the heat *sending back bear hugs*

*my man is so handsome (>﹏<) and yours is too*

[accelerandy15]

Which of the og Big 3 couples from gen 1 do you like the most? I know MidoSena counts as a gen 1 couple but my ask is for only out of those three (the spring, autumn and summer couples, if they're called that idk)

I don't have a fave but I personally don't like Natsuki and Yuu because every guy had a crush on Natsuki for some reason 🤔 And it has one of my most hated tropes 'tomboy becoming more girly for a boy she likes'. Ofc it's ok to go from tomboy to girly or vice versa, but not if its lying to who you are to impress someone. I think gen 3 does that much better with Hiyori, who gets dressed up by literal idols, but still gets told that she is wonderful no matter how she's dressed. And Natsuki in general is just...

Anyway, sorry for dumping my own opinion with the ask, im really interested in what your pick will be

My fav out of the gen 1 couples are Souta and Akari 💖 I think I'm just biased because 'Solution For Jealousy' was the first song to introduced me to Honeyworks. I was surprised how they kinda looked different in the anime because of the artstyle but I still enjoyed their moments. The reason I also like them was how 'sorta' realistic and cute their story and how their relationship formed and grew. I'm still salty that Honeyworks didn't give them an anime adaptation dabvsvsvdvab. And I was literally surprised to hear they got married in Tokyo Spring Session (since 10cmdatta or Tokyo autumn session didn't hint it or maybe I missed an MV on it) Anyways it's only thanks to the vomic and hanipre to get me content of them (idk if they had a novel I think they have I haven't read it). And that's why I love MochiAka they are underratedly a cute couple and they still need spotlight!

Okay, now if I were to give my opinion on NatsuYuu, I would just say... They're fine I don't have much of a problem. I just generally thought they were like the normal shoujou manga like couples. You know, the whole childhood friends to lovers, a love triangle, pinning and finally getting together and having a normal cute relationship with a few bumps in the road and tadah they're married. Well atleast their happy. I think honeyworks wanted to portray them as like the 'shoujou manga' like couples cuz they could have put more effort into making their relationship unique I can understand why you're not that quite of a fan of them. Let's just be happy that the Gen 1 couples are now living happily ever after 💙

[neoneo-op]

Hello my dear! Its your Animanga secret santa! I hope you are doing well and safe 💗 I don't know if you are in the US and celebrate, but if so, I hope you enjoyed your holidays! Sending love and warmth your way.

I noticed you posted about Blue Lock and I am currently OBSESSED! So much that I started to go ahead and read it because I can't take waiting for one episode every week. I'm sitting on the edge of my seat here. How do you like it? Do you have a favorite character?

Thats so impressive that you're all caught up! I want to be, but there are so many chapters. My brain is overwhelmed thinking about it. All of your favorite characters are top tied but you had me at Tamaki and Todoroki. I am a softie for Tamaki/Mirio. And yes! We love a feral king. I think he was just so well written and complex that it pulls at everyone's heart strings. Even if just a little.

Ok, so interrogation time! I mentioned before that I write fanfiction so I have lots of questions. No pressure if you have no answers for any. But the more specific the better your gift will be;

1) Do you prefer to read ships or self inserts? (I personally like both but mostly write self inserts because I like to write my fantasies)

2) Is there certain genres you like over others? (I have no limits when writing. I also write dark content and smut, as well as fluff. I'm a girl of many talents)

3) Any tropes you have been into lately? (Im a whore for enemies to lovers)

And lastly, 4) Is there anything you absolutely don't want or like in a fic? Someone people have certain things that give them the ick and I want to make this as catered to you as I can.

Stay safe! Can't wait to hear back from you 💗💗💗

Hiii!!!

I’m enjoying it so far! I don’t think I have a favorite character, really. I’m not actually that far, so I haven’t made much judgement on the characters yet. Who’s yours?

I prefer ships. I’m not a big fan of self-insert. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve read plenty of cool ones. I just feel kind of awkward about it.

I especially like fluff, hurt/comfort, and sometimes angst. Smut is alright when I come across it, but it’s not something I really search for. I’m not against it though. Hurt/comfort really tugs at my heartstrings, especially when it’s emotional.

Enemies to lovers is great, but definitely best suited for slow burns. Childhood friends to lovers is really cute (you can see why I’m a big fan of Tamaki/Mirio). Coffee shop au is kind of cliché, but when it’s written well, it goes hard. Mutual pining is great. So is bed sharing. I love when characters argue and then reconcile. Especially if they’re lashing out because they like each other but think the other doesn’t like them back. I’m a huge slut for confession during an argument.

I’m good with anything, really. No hard boundaries that I can think of.

Thanks for the ask! I love hearing from you, and I can’t wait to see what you do with this information!

[seungstarss]

since you asked to send more of these thennn give your moots a romantic trope(like opposites attract for eg) and any idol along with it?

yes I'm excited to do more of these! Lemme just add a few more moots! Imma end up writing scenarios for everyone tbh

@wonvelvet yes hello yeonie I'm starting with you again hello🥰 I can see the whole separated childhood friends trope?? Is that even a trope lmao? Idk but something like reunited friends. And the other party is like super whipped for yeonie but would keep it a secret bc they're tsundere af or sum??? LIKE I SEE LIKE YEONIE BEING THE SOFTIE AND THEN THERES THIS BROODY PERSON WHOS ALL PROTECTIVE AND GETS FLUSTERED EASILY???

@httpheeseung hellaur Emma 😌 so brothers best friend trope where you two are in a secret relationship without telling your brother??? Like I see heeseung for this AND I'M NOT SURE WHY. LIKE IMAGINE SNEAKING OUT FOR CAR RIDES AROUND THE CITY TGT??? QND JUST SPENDING QUALITY TIME STARGAZING OR SUM SHIT OMG 🥰🤩

@lunaflvms OKAY LISTEN STRANGERS TO LOVERS. SAUR luna you're a regular at a flower boutique and the new part-timer is really cute but constantly fcking up your order. you wanna get mad at the poor worker but they're just so clumsy and cute and y'all begin forming a cute relationship where you drop by the flower shop to watch them put tgt your order while you too chat?? THAT'S SO RANDOM IK BUT??? IT'S CUTE?

@ethereal-engene ash, SLOW BURN. PLEASE LIKE THIS IS YOU AND YOU KNOW IT. WITH ALL THE ANGST AND COMPLICATED FEELINGS. YOU KNOW WHY I'M SAYING THIS BECAUSE GIRLLL. ANGST AND SLOWBURN. THAT IS LITERALLY PERFECTION. and maybe a college au?? Idk it just fits

@won-vnl yui, I feel like I'm getting the idol au where the other party used vote for you on the survival show you were on and is a big fan, but now since they debuted, they have to hide their feelings for you?? But then you two keep bumping into each other at music shows and end up MCing or smth tgt?? HELLO YES

@enloveclub OML MIYU IM SORRY FOR THIS BUT IM GETTING ANGSTY VIBES. LIKE you've been crushing on the class prez or someone with an reputation and 1, You can't approach them, but now 2, They're dating your bestftiend. You two prob had some past tgt where u used to be friends but now you fell out so you can't approach them. You end up conflicted bc you don't wanna hurt your friend but at the same time you're in sm pain???? And you end up deciding to wish them happiness from afar??? HELLO LIKE THIS IS PERFECTION

@wonjaems omG ROSE LISTEN. SO LIKE you're a tired uni student and you don't frequent the schools café bc it's often crowded so you head to one that's around the corner of where your classes are. The worker there sees that you look stressed and scribbles like cute messages on your order (like on the coffee cup or the pastry bag) and it just brightens up your day??? So you come back and you guys start talking. PLS THEY WERE PROBABLY INTIMIDATED BY YOU AT FIRST AND DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO APPROACH YOU??? BUT AFTER YOU TWO TALK ITS JUST PURE FLUFF

@yjwni lily.......... apocalypse au. IM NOT SURE WHY BUT I SEE LIKE YOU AND JUNGWON(?) LIKE TRYING YOUR BEST TO SURVIVE TOGETHER??? AND YOU TWO ARE JUST CONSTANTLY PROTECTING EACH OTHER⁉️⁉️⁉️ BECAUSE SOULMATE BEHAVIOR?? THIS JUST MAKES SENSE

@haechanhues byE IM SAYING THE WHOLE BAD BOY/RICH BOY, "I hate everyone in the world except you" trope bc I needa feed your thyme addiction LMAO😭 BUT LIKE IMAGINE LIKE YETERDAYS EP LIKE THAT VIBE??? WHERE THEYRE PROTECTING YOU FROM GETTING HURT AND ALL?? SO GOOD.

@jungwoniics liaaaa suar,,, hanahaki au.... IM SORRY IDEK WHY. LIKE I'M FEELING THE ANGST.... LIKE IM GETTING THE WHOLE ONE SIDED LOVE BUT THEN YOU GET THE SURGERY TO GET IT REMOVED AND YOU FORGET ALL YOUR MEMORIES WITH THEM?? but then they were your best friend. Omg... yes

@jaesvelvet omg Saur..... my fav trope hoho.... ik it may be a disliked trope but... college student x prof?? IM SORRY I JUST LOVE THIS ONE SM AND CHA, I THINK YOU WOULD MATCH IT?? IDK IM JUST GETTING THE VIBES 😭😭😭

@liliansun OKAY HEAR ME OUT. STRANGERS TO LOVERS BUT LILAC, YOU'RE TO MODEL AND I SEE JAY OR HOON AS THE PHOTOGRAPHER??? PLS LIKE IT WOULD BE AN AWKARD INTERACTION FULL OF BLUSHING AND ALL BECAUSE UM??? THEY'RE VERY PLEASED WITH THEIR SUBJECT? (not in a weird way lmao) BUT YES

@atrirose SOMETHING IS TELLING ME E2L AND IDEK WHY??? like y'all are stuck tgt for some project and you absolutely hate each other's guts but then y'all warm up??? I'm a suckered for e2l as you might already know 😭 but idk, I just feel like you'd fit the trope

@jalnandanz oh xae 🥰 so soulmate au! Where whatever you write on your body appears on theirs too! But then your soulmate just wishes for your demise (not in a bad way but prankster type) and draws wonky shit on his arm so that it would appear on yours too? Idk I'm getting niki or jake vibes where he would draw smth stupid or write "deez nuts" or sum shit😭 but he actually loves you lots 😭🥰

@maiwon mai! I forgot to include u last time I'm so sorry but for this one I think the whole neighbours trope? Like you two both like each other but haven't made any moves? Where they get sick and you have to bring them the hw and what they missed to their house bc you live beside them?? And then there's the whole you bringing food for them and they get flustered when you feed them or test the temperature with your hand or smth? SO CUTE BC WHEN YOU'RE SICK YOUR FACE GETS FLUSHED BUT SINCE THEY'RE BLUSHING THE GET EVEN REDDER???

@jaeyunverse OKAY RAVEN LISTEN. THE WHOLE CEO AND COWORKER TROPE. PERIOD. IDEK WHY I'M GETTING THIS VIBE FROM YOU? MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I JUST BINGED THE TWO EPS OF BUSINESS PROPSAL??? BUT I'M SEEING THIS??? No explanation for this one, just a gut feeling.

[akihiko-sanada]

BRO, WHY’D YOU LIKE YUKICHIE SO MUCH??

Ok first of all, bro,,, B R O, bro ilysm being able to infodump like this means so much to me for real. And second of all, this is gonna be very bullet point-e since I can't string a coherent sentence together to save my life. LET'S BEGIN:

Tropes and dichotomies

Yukichie has a bunch of romantic tropes, including but not limited to:

-Beautiful and popular genius falls for airhead jock outcast.

-Childhood best friends to lovers.

-Two girls fall in love but one girl's close minded parents (yukikos) disapprove and kick her out so she suddenly moves in with chie (this definitely happened i'm sure of it).

Now the dichotomies:

Fire and ice: I feel like I don't even have to explain why this is romantic so I'm just gonna jump straight into the evidence: Yukiko is the teammate with Agi and Chie is the one with Bufu, one of Yukiko’s themes is called “Snowflakes” and there's also the twin dragons special move.

Sun and moon: Might be a stretch but I really do think that Yukiko is the moon, silent, beautiful and graceful while Chie is the sun, energetic, bright and hot to the touch.

Shadows

Shadow Chie reveals that Chie developed an inferiority complex from constantly comparing herself to Yukiko (not surprising but aw :(), and part of this is her not feeling worthy of Yukiko and her company, bUT MEANWHILE YUKIKO HAS THE OPPOSITE PROBLEM WHERE SHE RELIES TOO MUCH ON CHIE,,, like shadow Yukiko literally says says to Chie “Chies my prince, she's a strong prince, or at least she was”, she hoped and relied on Chie to save her from having to take over the inn and having to stay in Inaba,,,,. ALSO WHEN SHADOW YUKIKO'S HEALTH IS LOW SHE SUMMONS A PRINCE SHADOW WTF, WTF WTF WTF, SHE STRAIGHT UP SUMMONS HER PRINCE, CHIE, WHEN SHE’S MOST VULNERABLE????? HELP???

And speaking of shadows, Chie is pretty calm when it comes to rescuing people from the TV world except for Yukiko, she goes absolutely APESHIT, says "You don't know SHIT about how I feel! Yukiko might DIE from this, for crying out loud! I'm going, and that's that!" before running HEADFIRST INTO A MONSTER INFESTED PALACE WITHOUT A PERSONA OF HER OWN,, TRUE LOVE RIGHT THERE BABY. She also almost single handedly beats up a whole ass police station for even suggesting that Yukiko was involved in the murders.

Color theory

I'm a huge rwby fan so colors is definitely gonna have its own section IFSFNS. Anyways, in color theory, colors that are on opposite sides of the color wheel are considered complementary colors, and guess what the most used example for this? Green and red! Green and red always pop out when they're next to each other, and color is very important in p4 (for various reasons but a big example is how all the students at school wear dull colors except for the investigation team, they're just full on power rangers), so id like to think that making Yukiko’s and Chie’s colors the prime example of complementary colors was something intentional made to remind you of how well they work together.

Also: Chie “wow yukiko red looks really good on you” yukiko, twirling her hair “haha thanks do you mind if i wear it for the rest of my life-”. Also side note I’m 100% sure that Rio’s favourite color is red because it reminds her of Hamuko <3.

Comphet and obliviousness

It's very obvious that like, everyone’s in the investigation team suffers from comphet, especially considering their reaction to Kanji coming out (which is, something), but I'm only gonna talk about yukichies; first of all this whole scene screams of comphet, no one just gushes about their friend THAT much:

Also, Chie disapproves of all of Yukiko's suitors cause she's subconsciously jealous, Chie is 100% a baby lesbian cause shes literally like: “haha im not a lesbian, I just cut my hair short and mostly hang out with guys because then I’ll be more masculine and men like girls so-aw shit”.

Also, Inaba is a breeding ground for comphet because it's a rural town in the middle of nowhere in a town where most of the popuñation is old so,,,yeah,,,.Yukiko feels like her only option in life is to take over the Amagi inn and follow in her family's footsteps, which would in turn be like rotting away in Inaba, so I like to think that the Amagi inn is some sort of metaphor for how being yourself is key even though it can disappoint your parents by making you stray from the path they paved for you, but that’s still an important step to take to become a better person and being true to yourself. Now that isn't very different from coming out now is it?

Official art and others

-Yukiko’s and Chie’s designs inspired Tomoe Tachibana and Maria Torres from Trauma Team and they’re hella gay

-Yukiko and Chie are next to each other or side eyeing each other when the other isn't looking in 99% of the official art they're in, I wonder why that is-. Also if  you look through Chie’s gallery 90% of her photos include Yukiko and vice versa.

-Everyone in Inaba knows that Chie and Yukiko are practically dating cause some bullies literally threaten Chie with hurting Yukiko saying stuff like “that precious Yukiko-san of yours” and “So don't you care about what happens to your loved ones” LIKE HELLO???

-Chies social link? oh you mean the yukichie social link right? No but seriously like Chies social link revolves around Yukiko NANFFGGW

-Yukiko’s theme in p4u is “princess Amagi” and shadow Yukiko calls Chie her prince, coincidence? ABSOLUTELY NOT. 

Fun headcanons and random stuff

-Chie definitely short circuited for a full ten seconds when she saw Yukiko in a yukata for the first time

-I'm sure that when the investigation team meets up like 20 years after p4 they'll be like “wait Yukiko you've been living with Chie for years?? did you get married?” Yukiko and Chie who haven't even started dating officially “no?? what are you talking about- WAIT.”

-Yukiko and Chie: *adopt three cats and a dog and call them their children*, also yukichie “we’re just really good friends :)))”

-Yukiko and Chie definitely made out with each other a couple of times using the excuse of “were practising for when we have boyfriends”

In conclusion, yukiko and chie have the type of love where they've known each other for so long and care for each other so deeply and passionately that they don't need to search for a significant other because deep down they've always known they were each others. They've always pictured the other in their life from beginning to end but have yet to put together that they want to be in each others life romantically because of comphet and just, never really seeing each other as an option because they've just always been friends, nothing more nothing less. Thank you for coming to my ted talk I hope I gave you yukichie brainrot <3