#its why characters that break away from their social roles will get a lot of hate or psuh back against it

[bibibbon]

Hi! I was wandering through your blog and saw some of the asks about rewriting Katsuki, and I hope you don't mind me popping in, I'm sorry if this is a bother. I saw you talk about Katsuki bullying Izuku pre-quirk, and I find those scenes super interesting, because the voice actor, particularly in original, actually really improves these scenes for me since they seem to be playing it as genuine. Pre-quirk Katsuki seems to genuinely be confused about why none of the other kids can do what he can, why can't they read, why is Izuku uncoordinated and clumsy when Katsuki isn't? It sort of makes me think pre-quirk Katsuki is proto-Katsuki, just a dumb little protege who doesn't understand why he no one else is keeping up or challenging him or the hurt he causes by pointing it out. And then quirks or lack of, and adults telling him he's so gifted and talented and special and that's why everyone else can't keep up, and it's turned up to eleven and starts getting nasty.

Thanks for the input! I will be honest, I mainly just read the manga and watch some anime scenes with my friend who watches mha, meaning that there is some stuff from the anime that I can sometimes miss in my posts!

That being said, recontexulaising the scenes of pre-quirk katsuki as him genuinely being ignorant and unaware of the harm he causes is probably the most plausible explanation and makes a lot of sense. In the manga katsuki's memories, pre quirk are heavily biased and infulenced by his current internal monologue and thoughts that are hard to miss and due to this one can easily mistaken it as him just being like that since day one, so I will take your word with the VA making it seem that young katsuki wasn't truly aware of the harm he was causing and that harm caused was unintentional and not done out of malice but rather out of ignorance.

The show seems to establish from both katauki and izuku's perspectives that bakugo was the 'prodigy' and the manga does try and convey the consequences of this (rather poorly) with katsuki being fed the constant sentiment that he is the best and that he will make it far in life due to his capabilities whether that be him with or without a quirk. The sentiment was instilled into katsuki ever since he was a child (which is why after he gets a quirk, it's a very quick spiral into him, starting to beat kids up) and we see this through izuku's own description of pre quirk katsuki never being "good or bad but filled with confidence I admired."

From what we see in the manga, katsuki is depicted as the prodigy that then gets thrown all these expectations and titles by adults around him, naturally expecting him to be a hero or something great due to his quirk and his circumstances in life and we see that older katsuki echos these beliefs that the adults place on him whether that be his breakdown after the kidnapping or where he confronts izuku angry that izuku somehow got into UA saying that he was supposed to be the only one in their year and school to get into UA aka katsuki was supposed to be the legacy child he is supposed to be the greatest because the people have always expected that and thought of him to be that.

I think the river scene echos this messaging best imo. When katsuki leads his group through the forest and falls into the river, the entire group (minus izuku) responds by simply asking if he is okay and not even waiting for a response (almost as if they remember that this is katsuki) and simply believe or assume that he is obviously okay because he is strong. The more I think about this scene, the more it seems to vaguely remind me of how hero society treats all might. Why would anyone ask all Might if he is okay? He is the strongest of them all in the group of heroes? It's almost as if the thought doesn't even pop into their heads, and it's why barely anyone realises the state of hero society and how all might is hanging on by a thread because they always expect for the strongest to be okay because they are the strongest.

Essentially, this scene, along with Katsuki's inner thoughts, solidifies the consequences of having a societal expectation pushed onto an individual as we see katsuki and many other characters suffer because of this.

We see how this expectation of katsuki causes him to develop a unique mix of both a superiority and inferiority complex which seems to be an inner conflict that he struggles deeply with although I think hori misses quite a lot of times to fully flesh this conflict out.

In the end, katsuki becomes so disillusioned with social roles in hero society that he literally spirals when izuku does not conform to this social role and when this 'pebble' chooses to rebel and become a bigger obstacle in his supposed path to greatness. Izuku is everything that katsuki isn't, especially in society's eyes. Izuku is supposed to be the person that katsuki is supposed to be better than but what society tells him about izuku doesn't actually fit who izuku is as a person and it drives katsuki up the walls because even when izuku may be shaking with fear he still stands and does what he believes is right which is all something that doesn't match up to katsuki, this isn't something that society or the people have told katsuki will happen, this isn't supposed to happen but now it does and it is happening and katsuki starts to question his role in society believing that izuku is after it (this belief is further emphasised when izuku states that he wants to be a hero)

However, I do think that there needs to be acknowledgements made that while society and katsuki's parents are at play to the person he became so is katsuki himself.

I find it quite interesting that Katsuki, for all that it is knows exactly what's right and what's wrong. He knows that what he told izuku was wrong, and even if he somehow didn't (which I find completely unlikely), his lackeys tell him otherwise. Katsuki, for all that it is in his middle school class he isn't popular, but people simply acknowledge his power and strength. We literally see that it really is only the teachers that kiss up to katsuki and that his classmates are shown to take offence when he calls them 'extras', literally telling him to "get over himself". I find this interesting because izuku (oh the dear unreliable narrator) tells us that he is suprised that 1A is calling out bakugo's behaviour when his behaviour was being called out in middle school although the voices weren't as loud and they also seemed to heavily judge izuku as well.

For all that it is, katsuki's so-called middle school friends are literally just some random that follow him around, probably due to his strength and what that has to offer to their social roles in society. Katsuki seems to be quite the hypocrite as well calling out the lackeys for smoking because if they get caught, it would affect him, but he doesn't care when he gets called out after literally suicide baiting izuku. This seems like katsuki hangs out with them because they stuck onto him, and he may be a bit lonely for all we know due to his unlikeable personality but it seems like he does care about his image to an extent. Katsuki may have a horrible personality but he seems to care about his image and reputation as that's a key part as to how society views people and that he needs a spotless record to get into UA and actually be allowed to access various life changing opportunities.

[shizunitis]

Tell me about Thousand Autumns and why I should read it. (I think that’s the thing you reblog a lot of with the guy with the white stripe in his hair?)

Aside from the fact that Yan Wushi, the love interest of the novel and Danmei’s cuntiest dilf, is my deadbeat father and legal guardian, and thus should inspire you to read it for his role in my life?

Basically: Read Thousand Autumns? Please? For me? 🥺

Actual answer under the cut since this is getting longer than I expected (I’m too tired to actually try and be concise about it, so sorry.)

It features: lying and deceit, sect politics, jianghu fuckery, a temporarily blind and depowered MC, political intrigue, awesome fight scenes, a wonderful cast of supporting characters, interesting takes on the cultivation system, social commentary, an incredible dynamic between the main couple that isn’t front-and-centre, dramatic not-confessions, and the sweetest little sex monster of a woman you’ll ever meet. (She’s my favourtie character. She’s like if Sha Hualing was in love with Shen Qingqiu. Do you see?)

It’s a much more mature relationship than what we see with SVSSS, by virtue of happening between two people whose identites are, in spite of their circumstances, on sturdier foundations.

Now, then, the circumstances:

Shen Qiao, who must start from the ground up in every possible way, while he’s suffering from amnesia—something which Yan Wushi takes full advantage of, the bastard—is the true embodiment of an enlightened daoist. He’s a former sect leader and an honest, hard-working, good person; he is also not a pushover, and the moments he decides to bother standing up for himself are more satisfying than if he retaliated with fury and vengeance. He is relentless in how fairly he treats the world in spite of its rejection of him.

Yan Wushi: villain-love interest, leader of a demonic sect, and a jaded man convinced of the world’s cruelty. He believes it an ugly, vicious place that will snuff out all light by force. He attempts to break down Shen Qiao’s righteousness and honesty by being very gay Disney villain about it, and tries to get him to join him and see the world theough his eyes. He’s cunty, and an asshole, and makes horrible decisions to prove his own convictions, and he pushes, and takes, and betrays, and does everything but lay down his arms and accept defeat, even in the face of certain death.

They have a convoluted, twisted road ahead of them from the very beginning of the story. And yet, they gravitate towards each other even when they renege each other, falling back into each other’s orbit not with ease, but ruled by a profound understanding of their differences. How they navigate them, how they make space for each other, how they interact— Wonderful. Beautiful. Excruciating. I adore them.

Whether by design or coincidence, their lives tangle so much that they become inextricably linked, and the longer the story goes, you begin to see the cracks in both of their resolves to try and change the other. Their dynamic is gripping.

It is, however, not the main plot of the novel. Arguably, their relationship features as an accessory to the plot, rather than its focus. It plays a big part in how the plot unfolds and it does affect both Shen Qiao’s and Yan Wushi’s relationship and interactions with the world, but it’s—

I kind of felt, you know, like it was being preserved away from the world in a way. Like it was kept for them. Don’t know exactly why, or how I could give arguments to support this idea without spoiling some stuff, but. They have married bickering couple energy. You know?

There’s some CW’s, for sure. If you need a list I can definitely lay them out, so shoot me another ask in that case. Otherwise, I hope my deeply sleep deprived attempt at listing off why Thousand Autumns is worth reading works. If not, I got to call Yan Wushi a gay Disney villain, so I got my needs met for today!

Also: Do I reblog Thousand Autumns that much? I know it’s more than Erha, but. Hm. Maybe I should make it a bit more clear exactly how I feel about Mo Ran. Wouldn’t want the hierarchy to be destabilised.

[thecoolerliauditore]

One small thing I think a lot of people seem to have trouble differenciating twink and fem, like they can overlap but they are not interchangeable and one of my biggest complaints about the anti-twink thing is that when most people say it they mena anti-fem. Which... I will not get into it but I will point out that throughout all of western history from greeks looking down on gay men who take on the "feminine" role of bottoming to the edwardians with their "feminine gay men are a third gender" ideas, to the late 20th centurys misguided respectability politics of "straight gay" and "manly gay" and the distane for overtly feminine or camp gay men as offensive that followed, any percieved femininity in men being bad is a time honoured tradition even among queer folk. You even see it within the minor acceptance of gnc aesthetics where femboys and fem androgyny get backlash while bearish men wearing makeup and pink are praised as being more gnc. Kaz Rowe has touched on this topic in their videos on occassion alongside other similar topics. People WILL find a way to rag on men for daring to be feminine even within spaces made for feminine men...

... but that's all getting way too deep into queer history and far away from mcyt fandom, but I think about that a lot whenever I see someone using twinkification to complain about the overtly or implicitely feminine features specifically rather than the boyish and youthful aesthetics of twinks as a whole. There's overlap as you said in being clean shaven and petit but I do not think a lot of people have actually sat down enough to break it down and think about why they dislike those particular features that are often sited. A common example: being short is in fact not a twinkish trait, its a fem trait. This is a general issue of unmasculine = feminine to most people and the lack of acknowledgment of androgyny or ungendered traits. Either youre manly or youre not and if youre not youre fem, and if youre fem and a man especially a gay man that's bad.

I don't think anyone is being overtly misogynistic I just think as the internet spaces are wont to do they've moralized their preferences or examined the social acceptability of them as much as they would like to believe. Its like complaining about dyed hair and pride flags being the default popular option, you are in the counterculture space where those things are finally acceptable and people are allowing themselves to express those traits. Please learn to separate preferences from morality.

.... sorry i went on a tangent I think I dont remember why im here talking about this...

Not much to add except that this is a good add on, and alot of this also acts as another reason I try to emphasize that I don't pass moral judgments based on how people draw characters -- I too have biases I could easily project onto others and what is moral in my worldview could be the opposite for someone else with a different mindset.

FYI I do agree on the young twinkish /=/ fem, using my own designs as examples again I do think my Grian and Scott you could argue are feminized compared to their respective CCs, but I wouldn't call them feminine on their own. I mean there's definitely wiggle room and something there about comparing designs inspired by anime tropes which stem from Japanese beauty standards and conceptualizations of masculinity to maybe some of the whitest men currently walking planet earth but. yeah in my opinion my Grian isn't fem he's just a twink which other people might see as "feminized" -- I just made the assumption anon was at least partially talking about designs like mine because I feel like he's pretty much the standard fanon grian design to me unless the entire grian tag started drawing him with eyelashes whilst I wasn't looking. Psychosexual game of telephone.

But anyway yessss good shout on the queer history, I was actually just on a derek guy thread mentioning the "manly gays" of the 80s who dressed in a way to combat the effeminate reputation gay men had (and thus alienated the gay men who Were feminine). He talked about how a lot of that style has now gone mainstream and been adopted by very homophobic men which is very funny and ironic but also interesting how that loops back into itself.

Also got interested in the videos you mentioned and this was the one I watched (cus I found it first)

LOTS of good points in here I think people should know because this made me realise despite how influential anime is on this fandom, most of the people here aren't necessarily weebs or aware of fujoshi history. Really liked the points about xenophobia and how western BL is held up as "progressive" whereas asian BL is "problematic" in peoples minds as well as the mentioning that a lot of the strongest anti-fujo sentiment comes from people who would very much be considered fujoshi by the men who coined the term. This comment sums it up better than I could, I think.

Because. Yeah. Thinking about that point I talked about awhile back where a lot of the people who I've seen hate on "anime twink grian" have very twinkish designs themselves. It also seems to be a sliding scale of what a "twink" even is, this is a non-fandom example but I was reading this manga with a friend and they called this character a "twink", which I think really emphasizes how a lot of peoples conception of "twink" is more of an amorphous concept than just the body type.

So what you end up with is people who draw very standard Grians and then hate on others for drawing more or less the same design but in a more explicitly anime-inspired style or like. slightly smaller/skinnier.

I'd be interested to hear what your disagreements are with the video cus personally I'm not so sure about the roundabout "But Bad Yaoi is still Bad" stuff which is essentially still the same Good Queer, Bad Queer attitude that haunts so much queer discourse but that's just me. Also not entirely sure about the women liking BL because they like men, nearly all of the fujos I know have very little interest in men irl, but I'm also very much surrounded by queer people so my data is also biased.

REALLY GOOD POINT ABOUT THE TERF/ANTI-FUJO OVERLAP TOO. Not much to add in that regard but it's been something I've noticed and I'm glad I'm not the only one. I remember seeing a lot very. Strange stuff coming from people with rainbow flags in their bio about the creator of the webtoon Boyfriends when I was paying more attenton to webtoons.

I think you mentioned the whole. pushback against twink designs being counter-counterculture awhile back and I think that sums it up really well. Let men be masculine, etc etc

And all of this really doesn't even? Mean much from me I think cus I'd like to think most of my designs although differing from the CCs ARE pretty recognizable as 30+ men with like. very minimal frills (long haired etho clawed out of me kicking and screaming I think). So I really do not have a horse in this race at all lmao I just don't like people trying to police fandom with nebulous assertions of morality, especially when it's like. That video of the hyper-woke dude and the trump fanboy who have different takes about topics but arrive at the same conclusions. Girl just draw your own shit if you don't like luminousslime it really is not that serious and sometimes a specific design just. leaves a deep impression on the fandom consciousness. What I said before about how I appreciate people who just make their own shit instead of complaining that they're not being catered to.

[child-of-hurin]

Was thinking about Irene's relationship with power, went looking for these quotes and was a little surprised: I had forgotten they're literally in the same chapter, that is, Vol I chapter 5. First this:

“[Sophos] let a traitor play on his weakness, and the result of his mercy is that he is asked for even more mercy.” She finally began to work at the pins in her complicated braids, pulling them too hard, catching a few hairs with each pin and pulling anyway. “Nomenus has petitioned to be pardoned.” “Many of Sophos’s barons did worse and suffered not at all.” Eugenides crossed the room to stand behind her. Meeting his gaze in the mirror, Attolia glared. “We are kings and queens, not all-powerful gods. We cannot reward the good men and punish the bad ones just as we would prefer."

Then just a couple of pages later:

The king swung to face the queen, looked down again at his hand held to his chest. “It hurts,” he said. His voice breaking. “Serves you right,” said the queen, every word as cold as ice. “Serves me right?” said the king. Incredulous as well as angry, he said, “Serves me right?” “You dare,” said Attolia, rising to her feet like a thundercloud. “You dare impugn me.” “He was kissing you!” “He was insulting me!” “You told them to shut the doors!” the king shouted. They stood facing each other. “Why? Why?” wailed the king, until Attolia gritted her teeth and gave the answer that should have been obvious. “If I cannot kill the Pent ambassador, then neither will you.”

There's a lot these passages make me think of, besides the obvious point of the limits of power. For exemple: In her own POV passages in book 2, Irene obsessively mirrored herself in Helen; it's really great here to see her start to compare herself, as a monarch, against Sophos and Gen.

It also makes me think of gender in this book; I like how it is always so present even when it isn't... It's clear Gen and Irene both change in order to fulfill a role never meant for them, or someone like them. But they don't just change themselves, they also change the role itself in order to better fit them. All that eventually takes its toll, and it means neither is free to do as they wish.

For Gen, this compromise means a loss of freedom, but for Irene it means a gain of freedom. Being a man and a woman of the same social status, they're nonetheless coming from opposite circumstances. I think about this a lot whenever Gen's nuptial proposal of running away comes up in fandom discussions; I literally cannot imagine Irene ever accepting, or having something like that as a dream of her own... For Gen, a common married life means the loss of his social status as kin to Eddis, but he's still his own master. For Irene, a common married life means not just the loss of her social status, but the loss of any power she has managed to ever hold in the singular position of queen. A man might just be a guy, but a woman has an owner -- be it her father, her husband or her slaveowner. Irene is acutely aware of how, in some specific circumstances, there might be little difference between those.

On a tangent, I think it's very interesting that the narrative later proves Irene right in the matter of Ion Nomenus's character, but leaves judgement open as to whether it would have been better to execute him or not. He's so minor, you get the feeling it wouldn't have changed anything in the development of the war, or the story. Pardoning him or not really just ends up feeling like a matter of personal judgement. For Sophos, would killing him be justice, vengeance, or a message to other potential traitors?

Irene's mercy and cruelty are always very calculated for effect, but she vocally regrets things she feels she has to do, and things she feels she cannot do; she has a strong sense of justice, and of survival. It's all very muddled together, though: her impersonal justice, her personal vengeance, and the theatrical excesses for the sake of sending a message. For her, as it often is, killing Ion Nomenus would be all three.

[trinitynox]

Trin Reviews: Barbie

Short answer is, I liked this movie. Long answer, it's a bit more complicated than just it's good or it's bad. There are different interpretations to this movie, critical response has been overwhelmingly positive but there are also some negatives, and no, I'm not talking about Ben Shapiro or people who got their fragile egos hurt by this movie.

For some, this openness to interpretation is what makes it a good story. And that is fair, as a piece of art. But I reckon that the openness detracts a bit from its identity as social commentary.

I think Barbie is not as truly impactful as it could have been or as the marketing surrounding this movie would suggest. It is not generation defining but it is close. A couple revisions to fix those flaws might have helped it achieve that status. Provided that is what the makers of Barbie wanted. A few plot threads got mixed together and I didn't really get the point they were trying to make with it but maybe I will as I write this review.

If you found it more impactful that I did, that's fantastic! Don't let my opinion take that away from you.

Social commentary aside, the movie was quite fun. I loved the random inclusion of high profile actors and actresses as Barbies and Kens. The dance number with Ryan Gosling and Simu Liu's faction of Kens was a great moment of I don't know what's going on but I love it.

From here on, it's going to be spoilers.

*****SPOILERS*****

I don't really know how to start the spoiler review section so I guess I'll just go with whatever thoughts come to mind as I write.

One scene that stuck out for me was when Barbie was having a breakdown and said something along the lines of how she doesn't feel attractive/pretty anymore. It is then lampshaded by the narrator who says that Margot Robbie is the wrong actress to cast to drive that point across. In the moment, I laughed and agreed with that 4th wall break. However, upon reflection, the joke kind of fell flat for me.

Much has been said about how mental health and insecurities can and will affect everyone. And that even physically attractive people have the right to feel ugly. Highlighting Margot Robbie's looks and saying that she's the wrong actress to cast to drive across the point that even Barbie can feel ugly feels...reductive.

The scene was Barbie at her lowest, when her worldview was shattered and she felt like she had lost everything that made her who she was. That joke implies to me that Barbie is just her looks and not anything else, and that her struggles aren't real or her identity crisis isn't significant. Maybe the point was that her looks are too distracting? I don't know.

I watched it with my SO and her thoughts on the movie surprised me a little. She disliked the movie and gave it a 1/10.

When I tried to probe a little to find out why, I found that the message just didn't resonate with her. In fact, she didn't really get the point of the movie. The plot was too confusing, the character actions made no sense to her, there was too much going on, etc etc.

She couldn't pin point why exactly, but she felt that the movie had the opposite effect for her, where she felt less empowered.

I think the reason is this movie is meant to be a satire. It's supposed to take things to the absurd extreme. And the thing about satire is that not everyone gets it. Some might take it too seriously or on face value. Sometimes its message gets lost amidst the absurdity.

There was a pretty great speech in the movie about how difficult society's expectations of women have been so unfair and continues to place undue pressure on women that men don't normally face. I think that speech was the main thesis of the movie, but it was lost in the satirical take on gender norms/roles throughout the movie for some.

Then there was Ken's subplot. This one bothered me a lot, mostly because I absolutely hate everything his subplot is on the surface. Toxic Masculinity. So I guess that's a point to the creative team cuz it probably brought out the emotional reaction they wanted.

But it's also mixed in with Ken's own identity crisis. He doesn't know who he is without Barbie because it's always Barbie and Ken, never just Ken. I'm not sure what to think of this subplot?

Based on the resolution, I think the message is that men shouldn't form their entire lives around finding a partner, and they aren't any less for not having one. A good message to try to steer some away from becoming the internet's stereotypical incel, I suppose. Did it succeed? I don't know.

There's a whole thread about how Margot Robbie's Barbie starts thinking about death even though they can't die in Barbie land. It's a little funny that she starts as Stereotypical Barbie and ends with Death Seeking Barbie (I know, I know...it's not so much she's seeking death but more experiencing what being human has to offer, which includes death. It's a joke.)

Overall, while it was an entertaining movie, I think it failed to be as impactful as it could have due to it being a satire.

6/10

P.S. My favourite joke that I laughed out loud but no one else in the theatre did was: Random Executive: gives a suggestion Will Ferrell: Great idea, executive no. 2!

I died a bit inside when no one else laughed...

[ahb-writes]

Book Review: 'Nightblade'

Nightblade by Garrett Robinson

adventure

fantasy

rebellion

revenge

social commentary

My Rating: 2 of 5 stars

An awkwardly eloquent 10-year-old, a gratuitously overconfident runaway, a boorishly mysterious man who refuses to help until the narrative demands it — NIGHTBLADE bears the wan artistry of fantasy literature that stretches itself dangerously thin for the well-wrought pursuit assembling a life and lore that lives long after its characters' wayward exploits have come and gone. Far-off tales of wizards and mystics and magicks tend to go awry like that.

A backwoods girl gets it in her head, for unknown reasons, that she is destined to become the world's greatest thief. Loren might have dreamt it. She might have mixed up old stories she heard from an itinerant peddler. Or she might have imagined it on those long summer days in the Birchwood while chopping wood for her abusive parents. Regardless, Loren contrives, for herself, another persona ("Nightblade"). The rules this persona follows may also have been incomprehensibly dreamt, imagined, or mixed up with the character's other thoughts, but the concept gives the girl comfort.

Naturally, when an opportunity presents itself, Loren absconds from her home in the forest and sets out on a journey in which she meets law-breaking wizards, conniving merchants, shapeshifting bandits, royal guardsmen, and more. NIGHTBLADE cleverly winds a thread of class conflict and a bias of birthright around a narrative whose fantasy setting ironically feels too small for characters whose personalities are, too frequently, turned all of the way up.

One of the novel's most urgent and recurring challenges regard whether its most involved and central characters push and develop the story as effectively as they can. In brief, when an impressionable character only engages others just enough to advance the story, then chances are high that readers are missing more than they are gaining.

For example, does the sly merchant, Damaris Yerrin, bite her tongue because she's an inherently cautious person (e.g., helping Loren escape the authorities without so much as a shrug)? Or does the woman hold back because her experience means she knows and sees more in this fragile runaway than she is willing to speak aloud (e.g., leveling indirect threats when information is needed; preferring half-truths through gritted teeth over full-truths from honest tears)? Hard to say. The role of the helpful antagonist is rendered irrelevant by a character who simply walks away from most instances of genuine resolution or problem solving.

But the danger cuts both ways. Readers snaring little from characters who matter a lot is a frequent problem, but so, too, is the issue of over-trusting readers to ally with the protagonist or her friends. One has little reason for why Loren should invest so much those she rarely knows, much less knows well.

NIGHTBLADE, for example, leans heavily on a homeless street urchin, Gem, whose gift of gab stretches far beyond his station and regularly rubs one the wrong way. Loren knows the kid for but a few days before lamenting her inability to protect him from the city he calls home, inexplicably noting she "could not bear to think" of her ignorance causing him harm (pages 267, 327).

In reality, Gem is an uneducated 10-year-old pickpocket. And yet, by misfortune of the book's structure, he finds himself the main character's only faithful friend. Taking advice from a high-sounding preadolescent braggart sounds like a fun ploy, but when he whispers his incredulity while noisily slurping gruel ("I cannot read the tale of it," page 256), the façade conflicts with its given purpose.

A more conservative view might blame the book's heavy reliance on archaism, the author's insistence on wielding old or manufactured speech patterns, rustic analogies and turns of phrase, uncommon back-formations, and other language tricks. One understands if a random passerby reads this novel's first three pages and sets it aside, never to try again. As with most books, the more of it one reads, the easier the reading goes.

Some excerpts, however, are inherently inscrutable, as when a fearsome opponent casually jests, "That is as may be" (page 180), when, just as easily, they could have said, "Possibly." Or when a character thinks in despair, "Have done with it" (page 275), as opposed to the simpler, more direct, "Kill me." Other excerpts are utterly graceless, such as the echoes of racism one finds in passages describing a little girl as "a tiny thing with skin as black as night" (page 65) and of a bodyguard with "skin, like the girl's, [that] nearly glowed in its darkness" (page 65). Not good.

The story's language is a part of the book's fantasy culture, true, but that doesn't necessarily make it any easier to engage.

In terms of structure, NIGHTBLADE is a bit of a wanderer. Loren finds her way to a city, called Cabrus, some days away from her home in the Birchwood forest. She meets all sorts of shady folks (who steal her belongings), royal guardsmen (who hunt a wizard she sort-of befriended), and token "mysterious strangers" (who smirk confidently, speak grandiosely of fated meetings, and are then promptly removed from the scene). This umbrella of events is easy to discern from afar, but in the mix, one must recall NIGHTBLADE stretches nearly 400 pages.

The novel jumps from incident to incident, problem to problem, as Loren's bad luck continuously mixes her fortunes with individuals often destined for a jail cell. The connected dilemmas prove problematic early and often, as the book refuses to resolve many of the incidents in which Loren finds herself in favor of kick-starting other, newer problems.

These other problems, when introduced, look and feel more existential than the last. And as a consequence, readers are duped into forgetting unresolved or unexplained encounters, which, at the time, completely shifted the story's direction.

Readers forget to ask why Xain, a wizard of some standing, is running away from the King and his soldiers, when the king's soldiers start hunting Loren instead. Readers forget to ask why Gregor, a muscled bodyguard to the merchant Damaris, is so unreasonably suspicious of the forest girl from the instant they meet, when readers are shown Damaris is as awkwardly devoted to Gregor as he is to her. Other examples abound, and while the tension may be viable, the willful forgetting is not.

Tension is the author's strong suit. The novel has plenty of chase scenes, hide scenes, sneak scenes, and so forth. But they tend to pile up on one another. Convenience is often the bane of such stories, for characters who get into trouble through such matters are invariably saved by the same contrivances. And NIGHTBLADE is full of contrivances. One might go insane attempting to count the number of times characters leap out of the shadows, jump out from around a corner, emerge from a panel in a wall, crawl over the edge of a roof, or simply appear out of nowhere to grab someone on the run, about to run, or in hiding. Perhaps it's no surprise that after 300 arduous pages of running from her perceived antagonists, Loren conjures an idea to set them against one another. Indeed, for most of the book, readers have lived the same nightmare.

NIGHTBLADE relies on vague character aspirations and incomplete character dynamics to drive an adventure story rooted in all sorts of political, social, and economic commentary. Perhaps this amounts to the inevitably short lifespan of that first pebble of a coming avalanche, but the novel's overextended rhetorical flair and loose grasp of character development are but petty conflicts to consider should a greater narrative blossom hereafter.

❯ ❯ Book Reviews

[gmmtv-bl-tournament-but-evil]

I'm another one of those Never Let Me Go over The Eclipse girlies I'm afraid. I have so much unironic love of that show. I love weird and messy stuff (I genuinely love the live action Super Mario Bros movie from the 90s for example) and Never Let Me Go hit hard for me in that way. The ending was a little weak with the Palm running away plot, but like it didn't subtract from my overall enjoyment of the show (and let's be honest, endings are not one of BL's strong suits so I'm usually more lenient with it as my expectations aren't high) (that's what fanfic is for).

I actually never got around to watching The Eclipse because at the time of it airing, I wasn't in the mood for something that heavy politically (I'm pretty politically active irl, especially around that time, and wanted my little shows to break from that) (Not Me had already kinda drained my battery for heavily politically social commentary dramas then) so I never actually got around to watching it proper, just consumed it through gifs and the like on here.

But then a another reason for my continual ambivalence to The Eclipse is my real spicy hot take: I'm just not that into First and Khaotung as a pair.

Part of it is probably because my introduction to the BL fandom was Not Me and Dan and Yok rewrote my brain chemistry so I really wanted to see more of First and Gawin acting together. But there are other pairs where in my introduction to one of the actors, they were paired with someone else, and I still love both pairings a lot. So like, it's got to be something else that just doesn't do it for me I guess.

Like don't get me wrong, they're both phenomenal actors and act very well together, I'm just not into them playing romantic pairs all the time. Like Sand and Ray were my least favorite couple in Only Friends and I really didn't want them to be endgame (and I felt that a lot of the SandRay crowd were in it because it was First and Khao and not for their actual characters). And I loved it whenever Sand or Ray was out doing something with another character (I'm still a SandNick truther).

I'm not that into branded pairs anyways. I like the idea of common pairs, where they do a lot of stuff together but not exclusively only with each other. But man I hope GMMTV becomes more open to shuffling their pairs around because I really want to see First and Khao paired with different actors for at least one series and maybe that'll help solve why I'm not into them as a pair

Can't really disagree on the widespread lack of solid endings in BL. I'm having a lot of fun finding myself in this very peculiar position of just acting like a bowl to be filled with a number of votes for either of those shows. I don't have especially strong opinions either way, aside for a very mild preference for The Eclipse but nothing drastic (the Eclipse Anon has recently found this out to their great bafflement). Funnily enough, since you mentioned it, one of the things that diminished my love for The Eclipse was actually its ending!

As for FirstKhao, I love them dearly both together and separately while at the same time also being the biggest DanYok simp who ever lived. They changed the trajectory of my life, I'Il probably be thinking about them on my deathbed. Gawin Caskey is my most cherished little guy*. However, despite loving FirstKhao a lot, I wasn't impressed by their first role as a branded couple. I don't agree on Only Friends, tho, I think they already did so much better at SandRay and even though they weren't my favourites in that either (do I even need to say who I was seated for at this point?), I was hugely impressed by how far they got in so little time.

When it comes to branded pairs, I agree with you. I would also love a little spicing up and some unexpected new pairings. I also get that it's financially easier for GMMTV to keep the current status quo. I get it but I don’t like it one bit.

*l am a significant amount shorter than him.

[theechtra]

There was darkness, a blinding sense of chaos, and then suddenly there was a light. It burned so brightly, so brilliantly, that I couldn't help but admire its beauty even as it seared across my body and blistered every inch of exposed flesh it could find.

When I was finally pulled away, I was weeping not because of the pain—I was weeping for the loss of that light.

You wanted a vacation. That's it. A nice break away from your mundane life to visit your old friend at their new home in Ireland. You were going to be gone for no more than a week, tops, and then you'd be right back at the corporate grind. You anticipated green hills. You anticipated lots of pubs, lots of music, and very little space left in your photo gallery by the end of it.

What you didn't expect was another world that—scientifically speaking—should not exist at all. What you didn't expect was to be told that you're now in charge of a royal murder investigation and that you're on a time crunch to finish it. A time crunch of six months, to be exact.

Also, to top it all off, failure on your behalf could lead to the reigniting of a lethal war.

Between Fae, politics, and your life on the line, something tells you that your pub crawl may have to wait a while.

Select your gender, sexuality, and appearance

Play the political field of the Fae

Deal with shadowy beings that don't have your best interests at heart (probably)

Investigate a murder or two.

Get back home... if you desire.

Idris [M]— The current and youngest king of the Unseelie Court. Idris has retained an iron hold over his court since the end of The Dealg War, a lethal battle involving the Fae Courts that ended in several secessions. With Prince Beithir's death, his court is now under the eye of every Fae once again—a situation that's beginning to put strain on his hold. Is he being truthful when he says he had nothing to do with the murder, or is this just an attempt to preserve his power?

Gwyn [F]— Rider of The Wild Hunt and a Knight of the Autumn Court, Gwyn is a half-Fae that has resided in the Otherworld since her birth. A loyal servant to both her Court and her family, Gwyn is the individual who pulls you into the Otherworld under the request of Séaghdha. Although standoffish at first, she's one of the two people you're stuck with during your investigation. Is she truly unbiased, or is she still under the direction of another power?

Morgan [NB]— Your best friend and the reason you got into this mess in the first place. With a never-ending sense of adventure and a disregard for their own safety, Morgan has been there for you since they slugged your bully in grade 1. Your reuniting with them in Ireland is what set off the investigation, and things are only further escalated when Morgan reveals their status as a Changeling. How much do they really know about what's going on, and are they even the Morgan you know anymore?

Séaghdha [Selectable]— The charismatic Hawk courtier, Séaghdha is a renown individual in the Seelie Court and a close personal friend of the deceased Crown Prince. Caught in the throes of mourning, Séaghdha declares you as the unbiased investigator of the Prince's death, forcing you into the Otherworld and into a social climate that's as unstable as it was during the war. Why did they choose you, and better yet, why won't they let you leave?

The Prowler [M]— Someone who knows more than he's letting on. You've only seen him in your peripheral, but you know that he's been playing audience since the Crown Prince's death. Who is this shadowy figure, and what role does he play in this chess game of deception?

The Echtra is a Horror Fantasy tale created in tribute to Celtic Mythology. It currently stands at 15k.

DEMO— PATREON — KO-FI—CHARACTER PAGE—FAQ

[biceratops7]

Why Calico Jack is even worse than we thought:

I am in no way saying Jack is a badly written character. As a matter of fact, this man is a fucking diabolical master class of story telling.

I think one of the writers’ greatest strengths is laying exactly the correct amount of cards on the table. The only information we’re ever verbally given about Ed and Jack’s past is that they had a sexual relationship. Everything else we must glean from historical context (yes ofmd actually does stick to some), what we know about Ed, and how we see Jack treat people.

Let’s kick off with how Jack treats people cause that’s the key idea, mainly the fact that he sees them as objects. He treats the crew as mere accessories to his games, whether they’re on board or not has absolutely no effect on whether or not he’ll involve them. Ed is not an exception to this mindset. He’s a pretty hyper person so he’s mostly down for Jack’s antics, but as soon as Ed very visibly expresses discomfort at breakfast when Jack will not shut tf up about his past, it’s clear he couldn’t give two shits.

There’s also, of course, the way he uses Stede as a punching bag to both drive Ed away from him and just for his own amusement. This is made even worse by the fact that Stede has trouble expressing his needs and Ed has pretty significant trouble reading “between the lines” in social situations. What really breaks my heart and puts up massive red flags for me is that Ed cannot seem to tell the difference between Stede’s genuine love and care for him vs Jack being ✨passive aggressive✨ and manipulative. When Jack is uncomfortablely homophobic to Stede and uncaring of the crew’s feelings or safety, unless it is extremely obvious the vibe has been killed beyond repair, Ed seems to think it’s all in good fun.

(And in case anyone’s gonna say this is insulting Ed’s intelligence or infantilizing him, no. Droves of incredibly smart and capable people have issues with social cues that cause tangible problems. I am one of these people. So don’t insult my intelligence.)

Right now let’s take a detour out of universe, bare with me here. If you’re gonna be trying to gain an understanding of homophobia throughout history, there are two very important things to know.

1. It often wasn’t an all or nothing thing

2. Homophobia is deeply rooted in, if not a direct descendant of sexism.

Society’s relationship with sex in general was pretty shit until recent history (and honestly we’re still not quite there yet). If you were really lucky then yes, it was a fun activity you did with someone you love. But just as marriage for Stede had to mean a transaction, sex for a lot of people meant achievement in conquest, winning the commodity of women. Remember when I said homophobia was deeply rooted in sexism? Well basically gay sex was not exempt from these constructs. Mixed with the generations old irrational fear that society will fall if men and women “forget their places”, there were worse social consequences for those who, well, did “the woman’s” part. In some times and places there were even legal consequences specifically for them but not the other person.

(This is part of the reason why I get so frustrated when people say “ofmd doesn’t have homophobia, it just has people hating effeminacy” because y’all it’s the same damn thing. You wanna know where the hell discrimination against gay men even comes from?? It’s most likely the damn belief that the “natural order” will be upset by men taking on an effeminate role! Ofmd doesn’t just showcase homophobia, it does so in its purest form.)

Alright then, back to Jack (fuck this is long-)

Jack clearly isn't ashamed of his homosexuality, in fact he's boasting about it. Because to him and clearly most people at the time (gay or straight), sex isn't about love, it's about conquest. And if that handy dandy sword fight allegory tells us anything, then the way Jack sees it he's more than earned bragging rights. Yet another way Jack and Stede obviously contrast. Stede sees Ed as a person he loves and respects, Jack sees him as not only Blackbeard but a spoil he's won.

So he isn’t just trying to make Stede jealous by revealing he’s Ed’s ex. He’s made an educated guess and inferred that Stede probably… well to put it bluntly “buggered” Ed. (As in topped with Ed’s consent, I realized my prudishness accidentally makes it look like I’m talking about non-con. I’m not talking about non-con during any of this.) Jack’s assuming Stede may be using this fact to boost his ego and wants to knock him down a peg.

But of course Stede is not a piece of shit and therefore Jack’s attempt to drag him into this bullshit falls on its face, so he does the next best thing and pees on his boots. You know, as you do /s. If Stede refuses to participate in a literal pissing contest that objectifies and degrades his friend, then Jack will adjust in no time flat and throw his wait around some other way.

I’m willing to bet real money that Jack blabs of his “exploits” with the king of Pirates the exact same way he’d brag about any other feat of manhood to everyone and their mother. The only reason he’s not doing it in front of the crew is because be know’s Ed would hate it and feel cheated/ violated. And I don’t think getting his ass handed to him by Blackbeard was on his itinerary for the day.

[h-worksrambles]

I wanna talk about Cloud and Sephiroth in Kingdom Hearts

Oh boy. Final Fantasy characters in Kingdom Hearts. Now this is a controversial topic. While originally pitched as a Disney and Final Fantasy crossover, Kingdom Hearts is relatively sparing in its utilisation of the cast of FF. They’ve never had a dedicated world and they tend to serve as AU cameos to help populate the games’ original locales, such as Tidus, Selphie and Wakka being kids on the Destiny Island, or Squall, Aerith, Yuffie and Cid being in Traverse Town (having come from Radiant Garden). And when they do show up, their characterisation tends to be a point of contention.   Some people want more of these guys in the series and are annoyed that their relevance has dwindled still further with time. Others dislike their KH iterations, finding them too out of character. And some of the most controversial have been the cast of Final Fantasy VII. Being the most popular entry in the series, VII has several representatives in Kingdom Hearts, and just as with the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII (which Nomura also had a pretty big hand in), their portrayals are pretty divisive. So I thought it might be interesting to try doing a little fix it fic of how the FF7 cast could have been handled in terms of their role and backstories in this continuity.   My thought process has been to try and retain the core essentials of their character, and to find a reasonably close KH equivalent to their original lore without making it too complicated. They only have so much time after all and there’s a LOT going on in KH as there is. Also, I want to think about organic and fitting interactions they could have with the series’ original characters.   With that said, I’ll be looking specifically at the archetypal JRPG protag and villain themselves: Cloud Strife + Sephiroth

  Cloud first shows up in Kingdom Hearts 1 hired by Hades to take down Sora and Hercules, but ultimately sees the error of his ways and befriends Sora. In KH, he’s a swordsman wandering from world to world hunting for his nemesis, Sephiroth. We only get snippets of their history, but from what we can gleam, this version of Cloud succumbed to darkness in the past. He was saved from turning fully in some way by Tifa Lockhart, but this ended up creating Sephiroth, a being of pure darkness who torments Cloud, trying to push him back into corruption as the devil figure of his conscience. He can only be eliminated by Cloud himself.

  The biggest issue with Cloud’s characterisation is really the same one that dogs a lot of the Compilation. Specifically, that a lot of Cloud’s quirks and insecurities are airbrushed away to make him stoic and ‘cool’. My stance on this is that, (and this goes for Dissidia to an extent too), KH and the Compilation treat Advent Children Cloud as the default. Thing is, Cloud is very different from his usual self in that movie, since he’s riddled with trauma and depression from the events of the OG game. Now Advent Children doesn’t handle this character arc super well, but there is at least a reason why Cloud is the way he is there. And yet, that version of Cloud is treated in wider media as how Cloud should act all the time. It’s almost like if you took the extreme version of Batman from something like the Dark Knight Returns, and made that your default Batman in a movie with no additional context. But no director would ever do THAT right?

Oh wait…

  Normally, Cloud is a huge, socially awkward dork acting cool and hyper-masculine to hide his own insecurities. And there’s a lot of potential pairing him up with someone as earnest as Sora, who is so goofy and unapolgeticaly himself. If you wanna see what that dynamic would look like, just look at Cloud and Wedge in VII Remake. So as for Cloud’s character, sure he can be cool at first, but that facade can break after the fight with Hades and Cerberus. Let him be awkward, let him be snarky, let him and Sora have a proper dynamic. Sora indulges Cloud’s cool guy persona because he knows that, deep down, Cloud is a huge softy. Look, I’ll be real the cheat answer is just make him like he is in Remake.  However, I am keeping his Vincent Valentine esque redesign because it is AWESOME.

  He can still hunt for Sephiroth, he can still work briefly with Hades. But his overall character writing will hopefully be much more in line with the original game, which should help to give him better chemistry with Sora and even Hercules. Multiple times KH has made FF7 characters strive to become heroes at Olympus the same way they wanted to join SOLDIER in the OG (we see this with Zack in Birth By Sleep especially). You could do a lot by making Hercules an ideal of the kind of hero Cloud wants to be, in contrast to his former fallen idol, who himself was once a legendary hero...

  And with that, let’s get to Sephiroth. Admittedly his actual demeanor is not too far off the mark and his boss fights are absolutely legendary. I’ve touched on what little we know of KH Sephiroth’s backstory already and I really don’t care for it. I think it represents a fundamental misunderstanding of Cloud and Sephiroth’s dynamic for one simple reason.

  Sephiroth should not give a damn about Cloud.

  In FF7, Sephiroth barely interacts with the party, and when he does, it’s usually Jenova taking his form. This is because Sephiroth is too concerned with his lofty goals of destroying the Planet with Meteor, and thus taking control of the Lifestream, to pay attention to the ragtag group following him. Because power wise, they’re practically ants to him. Why shoud he care if they’re following him? There’s a sequence in the beginning of the game where you have to take a huge detour to avoid a monster callled the Midgar Zolom. It’s far to powerful to defeat at your current level, you can only avoid it. About 15 in game minutes later, you see another one of these things impaled on a tree by Sephiroth.

  It’s such a brilliant way to communicate that Sephiroth is on a whole other power level compared to Cloud and co. He is not just the man Cloud hates, but also the embodiment of everything he once wanted to be. He is an almost godlike mountain for Cloud to climb, symbolic of Cloud’s own self doubts. The only time he gives Cloud the time of day is when he can use him as a puppet for personal gain. Unravelling his false memories, realising he was strong enough to beat Sephiroth once, and can do it again, is a huge part of Cloud’s arc, piecing together his fractured identity, accepting himself for who he is and overcoming his insecurities. There’s a reason the final fight of the game is a scripted one hit kill against Sephiroth. Cloud has finally learned to believe in himself, and can overcome the man who once personified his fear and self-hatred, the man who underestimated Cloud to his cost. Cloud proves to be both the better warrior and the better man.

  But in Kingdom Hearts, as in Dissidia and even Remake, Sephiroth is constantly popping up to taunt, torment and manipulate Cloud. He doesn’t seem to have a life outside of bullying the guy. Cloud should be the one pursuing Sephiroth, not the other way around. Which is why I don’t think the whole ‘Sephiroth is Cloud’s darkness’ thing really works. Sephiroth is more than an aspect of Cloud. As I said, he should feel like a demigod on a whole other level. Sephiroth’s goals should be far beyond Cloud himself. He should think of Cloud as no more than a flea, unworthy of his time.

  The games seem to want to push Sephiroth as a symbol of Cloud’s old shame and past. Something he wants to escape but can’t, with Tifa trying to help him move on from it. Again, kind of like what Advent Children was trying to do. But without any details on any of these characters’ shared history, it just reduces their conversations to empty, pretentious refrains of “darkness, darkness, light, light, darkness” without any substantial character work behind it. It’s honestly just a worse written version of Riku and Ansem’s dynamic. Their portrayal is not just a disservice to their FF7 incarnations, it’s emblematic of all the worst excesses of Kingdom Hearts’ writing and none of the strengths.

  So, here’s my take for a rewrite of Cloud and Sephiroth’s backstory. Cloud and Sephiroth were originally from the same world. However, eventually Sephiroth learned of legends of chosen warriors who travelled from world to world as protectors. It’s not said outright, but we’ll imply that what Sephiroth read about, was the existence of Keyblade wielders. Believing himself to be one of these chosen ones, Sephiroth opened the door to the heart of his world, causing it to be swallowed up by the Heartless. Cloud, only a child then, was one of several to escape, being flung to Radiant Garden (as would Aerith and Tifa but I may save them for another time). This allows for something that better parallels their FF7 backstory, with the destruction of their world mirroring the Nibelheim Incident, and Sephiroth’s goal of becoming a Keyblade wielder mirroring his delusions of grandeur as Jenova’s ‘chosen one’. But all in a way that isn’t too dark or complicated for KH. Hence, Cloud sets out across the worlds to take revenge on Sephiroth, and is willing to learn how to use darkness if that’ll get him what he wants. 

  This also makes for an easy way to get Sephiroth to fight Sora, one KH2 already hints at. Sephiroth takes an interest to Sora because he covets the Keyblade which is why he challenges Sora to fights. He doesn’t have to be a major villain. He can still be an optional superboss. But now his dynamic with Cloud and narrative role is much more true to the original. It also gives Cloud another interesting parallel with Sora. Sora and Cloud were both torn away from their original homes and want to recover what they’ve lost. But Cloud does so through revenge and is willing to rely on darkness to do it. This can allow KH1!Sora to grapple with whether using the darkness would be an easy shortcut to getting his friends back (which is exactly what Riku struggles with in KH1). I believe Disney worlds are at their best when they can meaningfully impact the heroes’ development. And I think that should apply to the FF characters too. Both should be more than filler episodes. This can also continue when we introduce Tifa in KH2. Now Cloud has reunited with another survivor of his world, he can begin to question whether his relationships with the people around him matter more than vengeance against Sephiroth. And that’s a lesson Sora, who values his friends above all else, can help to drill into him. Wait...have I basically made Cloud into Guts? Uhhhh...

  If we’d actually gotten that long awaited Sephiroth superboss in KH3, we might even have been able to bring this to a conclusion. And there’s lots of different ways we could take it. Maybe Sora and Cloud could have taken on an ascended Safer Sephiroth, as Sephiroth’s quest for power ends not with a Keyblade, but a twisted angelic monstrous form. And so Cloud overcomes his self-doubts by defeating Sephiroth with the help of his friends. Or maybe Cloud chooses not to kill Sephiroth. He decides he isn’t worth it and chooses to put his friends over revenge, leaving Sephiroth to blindly wander the worlds, never getting the Keyblade he seeks because, ironically, he drowned himself in darkness in a way the Keyblade could never accept. Maybe Cloud could meet Riku in Radiant Garden after he comes back from the Dark Realm. Riku knows what it’s like to rely on darkness as a shortcut to power, and can relate to Cloud’s enmity with Sephiroth by comparing it to being haunted by Ansem. We could have fleshed out his dynamics with Tifa and Aerith or even Zack (assuming he’s not dead in this canon that is, BBS is a little unclear there). There’s lots of different ways you could go with it.

  I love Kingdom Hearts. I love Final Fantasy VII. But I don’t think Cloud and Sephiroth’s showings in KH, cool boss fights notwithstanding, are a proper showcase of what makes these characters so great. I understand that this is a different canon, and these are alternate universe versions of these two. But I think they could be implemented in a way that is more true to why they were so compelling in the original, while still being thematically fitting for Kingdom Hearts. I’m not a writer, and I don’t pretend to be better than professionals just because I’m playing script doctor. But I hope I succeeded in doing these characters justice, even a little.

  I hope you guys liked this. If you did, let me know and maybe I’ll evaluate/rewrite other Final Fantasy characters in Kingdom Hearts. Maybe I’ll even talk about ones who aren’t here already that I would like to see. Until next time, take care!

[caelestis-composition]

killshot anon! YEAH i totally agree w/ your view on kaeya. it's so weird to me that people will blame him for his role in a situation he was forced into as a child through no choice of his own. that itself had to be traumatic, not to mention everything that happened later. i hate when people say he's untrustworthy - like yeah, he's lied, so has everyone? it's clear he does it mostly to protect himself. not to mention that (& sadism) can be symptoms of trauma. kaeya deserves nothing but happiness

take a seat folks it’s time for a “brynn should’ve been an english major” lesson! today we’re gonna learn some literary theory; specifically, we’re gonna apply psychoanalytical trauma theory to kaeya’s backstory and current character. killshot anon i bet you never thought this would result in a whole ass essay.

disclaimer one! you are allowed to dislike kaeya! i am not saying you need to like him or his character, you’re entitled to your opinion and i’m not here to change your mind.

disclaimer two! i am in no way an expert and this is all for fun! this is just my silly little analysis of one of my favorite characters as someone who’s studied literary theory and rhetoric and can also apply personal experience. seriously analysis is like a hobby to me and this is just an excuse for me to ramble about kaeya.

disclaimer three! this contains lots of spoilers! basically for everything we know in-game, general knowledge as well as stuff from his voicelines and character story. don’t read this if you don’t want spoilers.

since this is going to be filled with spoilers and is about to get really long, everything will be under a cut. for those who wanna read my dumb super informal essay: enjoy!

final note: yeah this is over 2000 words long can you tell i like analysis

⭒

let’s start by getting a quick rundown of trauma theory out of the way. to begin, what is “trauma?” in this case, trauma is going to refer to an experience that greatly affects and changes one’s life; attitudes, memories, behaviors, mental state, etc. while not all changes may be bad, per se, the overall effect of trauma is generally a negative one, which is why it’s so significant. literary trauma theory, then, explores these changes and the impact of trauma in literature. it analyzes the psychological and social effects of trauma, explaining what those effects are and why they happen. in the context of a specific character, trauma theory breaks down said character’s behaviors, feelings, and general mentality in relation to their past experiences; trauma theory hopes to explain to others the reasons for why a character may act or feel the way they do, all based upon the character’s experiences, particularly traumatic ones. our character today is the lovely kaeya alberich, with the “literature” being genshin impact. i’ll be referencing kaeya’s wiki page to ensure i get all details correct for his character story and voicelines.

it would be good to review kaeya’s backstory before delving into the actual analysis. though we don’t know much about his life before living in mondstadt, we’re told he was sent as an agent of khaenri’ah. and by “sent,” i mean his biological father abandoned him in a completely unfamiliar land to serve khaenri’ah’s interests and fullfil his mission—what this entirely entails hasn’t been revealed. mondstadt, however, welcomed kaeya “with open arms when they found him.” crepus ragnvindr took him in as his adopted son, with diluc as his adopted brother. kaeya and diluc were “almost like twins,” so close they “[knew] each other’s thoughts and intentions without a word.” he’d began a new life in mondstadt, one surrounded by friends and family that loved him; one that was completely shattered by crepus’s death. kaeya arrived at the scene of the disaster, and was led to believe diluc was the one who killed their father to “set his father free” from the effects of his delusion. there’d always been one big question in kaeya’s life: if it came down to it, who would he support? the nation that abandoned him, but he still felt loyal to, or the nation and family that took him in and really loved him? overrun with guilt, kaeya confessed his purpose to diluc, sparking a fight between the two brothers. in this fight, kaeya receives his cryo vision. though both brothers stepped away alive, they’ve never been able to make peace with one another. now, kaeya is the eccentric and charming cavalry captain of the knights of favonius; a man who gets his way by using any means necessary, regardless of whether or not it seems right.

kaeya’s not evil; he’s morally ambiguous, and that stems from what appears to be a general distrust of others. his life is one shrouded in secrecy. from the moment he stepped foot into mondstadt, he was surrounded by secrets. even now, he doesn’t talk about a lot of things, namely his past, vision, and feelings. though he’s always willing to get information out of others, kaeya never reveals anything about himself. he repeatedly tells the player they can confide in him, but whenever you try and pry into his life, he deflects your questions with some sort of witty comment or flirty remark. anything he does reveal is vague, or spoken in some sort of “code.” for example, his “interesting things” voiceline. he tells us about the owl of dragonspine, how it “seems to look right through you, while letting go of none of its own secrets,” and then tacks on a “quite fascinating, don’t you think?” it seems like an awfully accurate parallel to himself; kaeya does all he can to get information from others, but never gives anything about himself. now, this whole thing—his relationship with diluc falling apart and his need for secrecy—could have probably been avoided if he had just come clean about his mission years ago. so why didn’t he? to start, kaeya was a literal child. not only are children unable to properly tell the difference between right and wrong, but they’ll also typically follow their parents’ orders blindly. kaeya had just been abandoned, and he wouldn’t want to risk being cast out by mondstadt as well if he came clean right away. you see, there’s this thing about trauma, something that trauma theory states. traumatized people feel a sort of shame or guilt regarding their traumatic experience; they’ll keep quiet because they don’t want to cause problems or bother others with their issues. of course kaeya wouldn’t tell the truth about his past, he doesn’t want to destroy the genuinely loving relationships he’d built in mondstadt. his fight with diluc only proves what he was afraid of: if he’s honest, he’ll be abandoned again. and if kaeya’s used to all the lies, why should he bother changing?

another thing, if he’s not going to tell the truth, then why would he have initially gone along with his father’s plans? again, he was a child. he really had no choice, and was forced into a very wrong and cruel situation. there’s a good explanation for this, too, which is also stated in trauma theory; traumatized people will still do their best to please their abusers. especially if said abuser is a parent, that will drive traumatized people to work even harder to please them. although his father hurt him by ruthlessly abandoning him, kaeya still sought to make him and his homeland proud. he was willing to be used as a tool for their gain; that is, until he found people who actually cared about him. he was an impressionable child, of course he’s going to obey orders. but as he gets older, he feels torn. does he serve those who abandoned him, or those that took him in? his father—and arguably, khaenri’ah as a whole—hurt him, sure, but he still feels some loyalty and connection to his former home. instead of revealing anything, he lets the situation play out. that way, he can’t be blamed when things fall apart.

the thing about claiming he’s untrustworthy is that hardly anyone in-game believes that. he’s adored by the older folks in mondstadt, and foes and allies alike find him easy to talk to. despite seeming lazy and uninterested in work, kaeya takes his job very seriously. in fact, his story states that crepus’s death was the “first and only time kaeya failed in his duty.” the “only time” is especially important, because it signifies kaeya still fulfills his duties successfully. he’s had a total of one slip-up, and hasn’t failed since. no, kaeya is not untrustworthy. rather, kaeya finds everyone else untrustworthy. it’s not unlikely that this is a direct consequence of being abandoned as a child. although it’s been established that kaeya and diluc were very close as children, when crepus dies, kaeya assumes diluc is the one that killed him. in order to jump to such an extreme conclusion against someone he was so close to, there had to be some underlying sense of distrust. furthermore, kaeya expresses feeling as though he doesn’t belong anywhere. he was abandoned by khaenri’ah, and then worried he wouldn’t be accepted by mondstadt. he is, but there’s still that worry. if you place him in your teapot as a companion, he tells you that your home feels like someplace he belongs, following it up with a “heh, who’d have thought…” kaeya still feels as though he doesn’t belong in mondstadt; despite the fact that he’s a high-ranking knight of favonius and rather popular, he still feels like an outsider. he doesn’t trust that anyone actually wants him around, and he finds joy in testing peoples’ trustworthiness. it’s noted in his story and through his voicelines that the beloved cavalry captain has a rather sadistic nature. he likes putting people into difficult situations, to see what decisions they will make. he does this to both opponents and allies, testing to see who’s going to back out and who’ll keep fighting; in the sake of allies, who can he trust? or who will turn tail and abandon their teammates at the slightest hint of danger? i mentioned it previously, but kaeya doesn’t care what measures he has to take so long as his job gets done and he gets the answers he wants. it’s a sort of self-preserving mindset, putting himself above the safety of others. kaeya’s trying to protect himself, which makes sense with all he’s been through. he doesn’t want to be hurt, and instead finds pleasure in threatening harm upon others. it’s twisted, sure, but it’s because he can only trust himself in a world that he believes is out to get him. he’s got as many enemies—if not more��as he does allies; of course kaeya focuses on protecting himself first, whether physically or through keeping his secrets, well, secret.

his most obvious traumatic effect is definitely his alcoholism. but he uses it as a distraction, not just to wallow in self-pity. this is seen again in his story, particularly in story 3. it’s found that when his favorite drink, death after noon, is out of season, mondstadt’s crime rate is decreased drastically. at face value, this just means kaeya spends more time working when death after noon is low in supply. but kaeya doesn’t skip work to go to taverns; it’s already been established he takes his job very seriously, so this means he actually patrols and tracks down threats while off work when he can’t indulge in his favorite alcoholic drink. he doesn’t get drunk simply because he’s depressed. if he did, there wouldn’t be a drop in incidents when death after noon is out of season. no, kaeya uses both the alcohol and fighting to distract himself. after all, it’s a little hard to think about feeling sad when you’re either drunk out of your mind or fighting for your life.

despite being so secretive, kaeya gives us glimpses of his true emotions from time to time. as previously mentioned, his flirty attitude is nothing more than a mask to hide how he really feels; and kaeya is terribly, terribly lonely. that may be why he seems so extroverted. constantly being around people should, logically, drive away that feeling, but it doesn’t work like that. when he talks with the player, he frequently expresses disappointment when you have to leave. each time, though, he dampens the weight of his words with playful or flirty language. he’s lonely, but doesn’t want you to know that, like he’s afraid of asking you to stay. he takes the seriousness of his feelings, and basically bends it into some sort of lighthearted joke. kaeya hides his true feelings—negative feelings, to be exact—so that he doesn’t bother anyone. which is, again, something that happens with traumatized people. he displays that hesitance to reveal his true feelings, because there’s a shame or guilt that comes with his past. he doesn’t want to bother others or hold them back, so he puts on a smile and amps up the charisma. one other very important thing—but very small detail—i would like to note is his feelings toward family. his fell apart not even once, but twice, and kaeya still holds familial relationships in high regard. we know he doesn’t exactly care how he goes about getting his work done. he doesn’t pay attention to what’s “right” or “wrong,” so long as he gets what he needs. but one of his informants, vile, notes that the cavalry captain has one exception: he won’t work with those who threaten others’ families. in fact, kaeya claims those who do should be hunted down and destroyed. even though his own families have caused him so much pain—and he ended up estranged from both—he still understands the importance of having people who love you in your life. because he didn’t get that.

kaeya’s not evil. ultimately, as a knight of favonius, his goal is to protect others, because no one was there to protect him. and because no one was there to protect him, because he’s been hurt time and time again by people who were supposed to love him, kaeya has taken to protecting himself. he hides any and all negative feelings with a charismatic, friendly façade, because he thinks it’ll drive away his persistent loneliness. any “bad” actions of his were hardly his fault; he was forced into a life of secrecy and lies, and then abandoned by the first people who truly loved him. kaeya’s a multi-faceted, tragic character, one that toes the line between good and evil, and that’s what makes him so interesting.

[falcqns]

To Be So Lonely

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader, Sebastian Stan x Reader

Summary: Henry has a crush on you, but you’re dating someone else, and he broods about it. he confronts you about it and ruins his career.

Warnings: swearing, threats, henry is a mega asshole in this and ruins his career, dont know where this idea came from lol

A/N: Bratty!Henry makes a comeback as requested! Hope you enjoy!

Don't blame me for falling

I was just a little boy

Don't blame the drunk calling

Wasn't ready for it all

Henry had been a fan of yours for a while. You had appeared in a few movies and TV shows, and he watched them almost religiously. You hadn’t been acting as long as him, but he firmly believed that you were way better at it than him, He had auditioned for a few of the same projects as you, but he never got the role, for one reason or another. He very vividly remembers watching the Mockingbird movie that you were in, and the feelings of jealousy he got as he watched you kiss your co star, Sebastian Stan. He almost wanted to hate Sebastian, but he had done nothing to him, so he couldn’t. Other than kiss the girl that Henry wanted for himself.

Then, one day, Anya and Freya busted into his trailer with huge smiles on their faces.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, petting Kal, and smirking at his friends. They locked eyes with each other and giggled before Freya told him what was going on.

“Y/N got a part on the show!” She squealed, and Henry felt warmth blossom in his chest in hope.

“Shut up. You’re joking!” He said, standing up, a huge smile spreading on his face. “When does she start?”

“Tomorrow!” Anya squealed, and Henry’s smile grew even bigger. He couldn’t wait.

You can't blame me, darling

Not even a little bit

I was away

And I'm just an arrogant son of a bitch

Who can't admit when he's sorry

Henry was practically shaking with excitement when he woke up the next morning. He wanted nothing more than to rush to set to meet you, but he needed to go for a run, eat, and get himself and Kal ready before he could do that.

40 minutes later, he was ready and was practically speeding to set with Kal in the passenger seat of his car. Kal had his head out the window, his mouth open, biting at the wind. Henry glanced over at him and chuckled. His stomach was feeling the same way.

He arrived moments later, and looked around the parking lot for your vehicle. He didn’t know what type of car your drive, but he noticed a black Dodge Ram 1500 that he hadn’t seen before today, so he had to assume that was yours. His eyes were darting everywhere, looking for you, while walking to his trailer. He dropped Kal off in his trailer, and filled up his food and water bowl before he left for the makeup trailer.

He walked out of his trailer, and that’s when he saw you. You were standing outside your trailer, which was opposite of his. Your hair and makeup was done, and you were talking on the phone. Suddenly, he was feeling very nervous, as you hung up the phone and your eyes landed on him. You waved at him, and the butterflies in his stomach grew as he walked over to meet you.

“Hi!” You said.

“Hi! I’ve been wanting to meet you for so long,” HEnry said as he gazed into your E/C eyes. You blushed and he opened his arms for a hug, which you willingly gave.

“Me too!” You said, and the two of you continued talking until your phone rang again. Henry glanced down briefly and his heart dropped into his stomach at what he saw. It was a picture of you and Sebastian kissing, and there was a heart next to Seb’s name.

“Sorry, that’s my boyfriend, but I’ll talk to you on set, okay?” You said, and Henry nodded with a smile, an attempt to cover what he was truly feeling.

“Of course.” You nodded, and walked away with the phone held up to your ear.

“Hey, baby...” You said into the phone, not noticing how Henry turned his back, and walked towards his trailer.

Don't call me baby again

You got your reasons

I know that you're tryna be friends

I know you mean it

Don't call me baby again

It's hard for me to go home

Be so lonely

Henry managed to hide the hurt he was feeling for a few days, but Anya and Freya first noticed something was wrong when Henry walked away from the three of you while you were telling them how Sebastian was trying to impress you once, and ended up falling down his trailer steps. Henry had made it to his trailer before breaking down. Kal bounded over to him, and pressed his body against his legs. Henry sunk to the floor, and let Kal rest his head on his shoulder. He let out a whine at Henry’s crying, and henry calmed down. He didn’t want to upset the one thing that makes him insanely happy. It was you, but you were taken. he couldn’t think about you liked that anymore, no matter how much he wanted to.

Anya came into his trailer a few minutes later, and sat next to him, her hand resting on his arm.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, and Henry lifted his head to look at Anya. “I like her. So much. But, she’s out there dating that asshole.”

Anya let out a laugh, and Henry looked at her in confusion. “What?”

“Sebastian isn’t an asshole. Just because he got her before you did, you’re going to make him look like the bad guy in this situation? First of all, there is no bad guy in the situation. She’s happy with him. He’s happy with her. If you’d sit and listen to the way she talks about him, you’d understand that. He has done things for her that I’ve never heard of anyone doing for their significant others, especially those who dont care about said significant others. When they were filming together, she really missed her best friend, so he flew her out for her birthday, and paid for them to spend the weekend at Disney World together. He’s a really nice guy, but you’re going to sit here and brood simply because he met her first. Dont blame him, and dont you dare blame her.” Anya said, before giving Kal a pet, and walking out of the trailer.

Henry glared at the wall opposite him for a few minutes, before pulling his phone out and going to instagram. He looked at his notifications, and scoffed in annoyance when he saw that Sebastian followed him. Without thinking, he clicked on the three dots, and blocked him.

You might be taken, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have to be okay with it. He stood up, wiped his eyes, and headed back to set. He made a point to keep his eyes glued to his phone so he didn’t have to talk to you.

He shouldn’t be blaming you for this, but the jealous side of him told him to, since he couldn’t blame Sebastian.

I just hope you see me in a little better light

Do you think it's easy being of the jealous kind?

'Cause I miss the shape of your lips

You'll win, it's just a trick

And this is it, so I'm sorry

You noticed Henry’s demeanour towards you go down over the course of your first week, and you were scouring your brain to figure out why while on FaceTime with Sebastian.

“I don’t know what I did to him. He barely speaks to me, he refuses to be alone with me, and if I even mention something about Marvel or our movie, he scoffs, and makes snide little remarks. He seemed like such a nice a person, and i dont know what happened.” You explained to Sebastian, while playing with your fingers.

“I don’t know, either love. I did notice that he blocked me though. I tried to follow him earlier in the week, and now I can’t even find his account, so I think he blocked me. I don’t think it has anything to do with you,” He said, giving you a sincere smile, that was full of love. You smiled at the sight of his steel blue eyes.

“Why would he hate you though? You’ve never met, and I thought he was a Marvel fan. Anya told me he was, and that he went to see Mockingbird in theatres. It doesn’t make sense.” You said. You watched as something washed over Sebastians face, and he ran his fingers through his hair.

“He might like you. I never even thought about that. He’s friends with Chris, I’ll find out for sure,” Seb said, picking up his phone and typing out a message to Chris.

“You think he like me?” You questioned, and Sebastian nodded. “Yeah, i think he does. I mean, he follows you on all your socials, comments on all your posts, he went and saw a Marvel movie by himself, and I’ve heard from a few people he’s been wanting to work with you for a while, but scheduling always got in the way. To me, its the only logical explanation right now.” He said, and you saw his face fall a little.

You smiled. “Baby, look at me,” His head lifted. “You know, even if this is true, I would never leave you, right?” He nodded.

“I know. It’s just- he’s played Superman. An actual superhero. I play a troubled 100 year old with a metal arm that he got through a debt owed to Steve by T’Challa. He’s played so many more influential roles in his career, and I haven’t even gotten the lead in a ‘superhero’ movie, I’m only a side character. And, I know you had a crush on him at one point. Plus, look at the dude! He looks like a Greek God. I don’t want to lose you.” Sebastian admitted.

You giggled slightly. “Baby, I don’t care about that. I care about you. Did you know that before I started on the Mockingbird set, I was terrified to work with you? I had the biggest crush on you, and I was terrified you wouldn’t like me back, but I was proven wrong instantly, when you came up to me and gave me the biggest hug, and told me if I needed anything, you were there for me. You waited for me on set so you could walk me to my car, even on days where you got to go before I did. You visited me when I was sick, and asked to hang out on our days off. You did that. He didn’t. I love you, not him, dragă.” You said, and he smiled. He locked eyes with you through the screen, and you saw tears welling up in his eyes.

“Te iubesc atat de mult,” He said in Romanian.

“Si eu te iubesc foarte mult.” You responded. “I’ll see you when your plane lands tomorrow, okay? It’s getting pretty late there, and your flights in a few hours.”

You and Seb said good night, and hung up. As you laid in bed a few minutes later, you thought to yourself. “Did Henry really like you, or was that just Seb’s jealousy?” You decided to confront Henry in the morning.

Don't call me baby again

You got your reasons

I know that you're tryna be friends

I know you mean it

Don't call me baby again

It's hard for me to go home

Be so lonely

You arrived at the door of Henry’s trailer less that 12 hours later, and you didn’t bother knocking. The thought of bringing Seb on set when Henry had a problem with him didn’t sit right with you, and you needed to figure out what the fuck was going on.

You walked in, and saw Henry putting food and water in Kal’s bowls. He looked up at you before returning to what he was doing.

“What’s your problem with Sebastian?” You demanded, and to your anger, you got a scoff in return.

“Who says I have a problem with him?” He said, refusing to even look at you. You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket but you ignored it for the moment.

“Seb! You blocked him on Instagram when he followed you. You roll your eyes whenever I talk about him, and get all pissed when he calls me. He’s done NOTHING to you! So what is your problem with him?” You demanded, and he finally turned around to look a you.

“He calls and texts you constantly! He always has to be talking to you. You’re here to do a job, not sit around and text your little boyfriend.” He said, and you laughed.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! I do my job perfectly well, and if you’d open your fucking eyes for two seconds, you’d see that I text him first! I tell him when I’m doing a scene, and when I’m not so he knows he can call me! Being in a long distance relationship is hard, and I’m trying to make it easier on him and I. And you say I’m here to do a job. Right now, I cant think of a SINGLE reason why I even took this job in the first place! Oh wait, I TOOK IT BECAUSE I WANTED TO WORK WITH YOU! Did you know I had an offer from Tom Cruise for The Mummy sequel and I turned it down because I wanted to work with you? I could be in Egypt right now, in shorts and a t shirt with Tom Cruise and Annabelle Wallis, my favourite actress, rather than in dreary fucking England, doing a show with you where you treat me worse than the horse shit that Zeus leaves in his path!” You screamed at him. His face became red, and he retaliated.

“FINE, YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I HATE HIM? BECAUSE HE HAD YOU FIRST! I’VE BEEN TRYING TO WORK WITH YOU FOR YEARS, BECAUSE I HAVE HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON YOU, SINCE YOU APPEARED IN MURDOCH MYSTERIES! I WAS SO EXCITED TO BE ABLE TO WORK WITH YOU, AND I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU OUT, BUT YOU JUST HAD TO GO AND SLEEP WITH THE FIRST A LIST ACTOR YOU COULD GET YOUR HANDS ON WHO PROBABLY DOESN’T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT YOU! YOU DON’T WANNA BE HERE? LEAVE! I’M SURE TOM WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU! HE PROBABLY WROTE THAT PART SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU, BECAUSE WHY WOUDN’T HE? YOU SEEM TO GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT SO WHY DON’T YOU JUST TAKE IT, AND GET OUT OF ENGLAND BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART EVEN MORE!” He screamed.

You blinked back tears, and swallowed the lump in your throat before answering. “You don’t get to hate him because he got me before you did. That’s cruel and wrong. And I didn’t sleep with the ‘first A List celebrity i could get my hands on’. I slept with him because I love him, and he loves me. And you’re right,” You felt the tears spill over, and you did nothing to stop them. “I’m sure Tom will be happy to have me, because I quit. I cannot work with you. You are not the person I thought you were at all.” Your turned to walk out the door.

“And to think that I used to have a crush on you too,” You remarked before letting the trailer door slam.

And I'm just an arrogant son of a bitch

Who can't admit when he's sorry

You ran down the stairs and was immediately embraced by Sebastian, who had just arrived on set when he heard your and Henry’s screaming match.

“It’s okay,” He whispered into your ear, as you started sobbing. At that precise moment, Henry walked out of his trailer and opened his mouth to speak. Sebastian held up his hand before he could.

“I think you’ve done enough damage, Cavill. I’m not going to allow you to hurt her anymore. I can’t believe, that you, out of all people, would treat her like this simply because she’s dating someone else. You may play Superman, but you definitely don’t deserve it.” He remarked, and led out away. But, Henry being Henry, decided to snark back.

“You’re one to talk. You play a 106 year old Hydra assassin who somehow managed to convince everyone around him that his a good guy. You’re no worse than I am buddy.”

“Go to your trailer, I’ll see you in a second.” You nodded and headed in. While he dealt with Henry, you called Tom to let him know you could take the role after all.

“I don’t know why you think that you can treat my girlfriend like that, but it’s not okay. You should have seen the amount of research she did for this role! She read every single book, and played every single game in preparation for this role. She was so excited, and turned down the chance to work with her favourite actress to work with you. Not many people would do that. I also dont know what I did to warrant you absolutely hating my guts, other than dating her. I’ve done nothing to you, and even if I did, that doesn’t mean you can treat my girlfriend like shit for it. I’d watch your fucking back, because unlike you, she’s a Marvel actor. The majority of her friends are Marvel too, so don’t be surprised if you get a few nasty messages from certain Avengers, because I will not withhold this information.”

Sebastian walked in to your trailer and found you on the phone to Lauren, apologizing. You hung up a few seconds later and turned to Sebastian.

“She mad at you?” Sebastian asked, and you shook your head.

“No. She understands. She says that she’s sorry that he acted that way, and that she’ll be talking to him. I called Tom and I have the role. I fly to Egypt in two months.” You said, packing up your things. Seb nodded, and moved from where he was to help you.

You took off your costume, and took your hair out. Sebastian took your duffel bag with all your things, and the two of you headed out. Thankfully, you didn’t see Anya of Freya, you weren’t in the right space mentally to explain what happened. All you wanted to do right now was get as far away from Henry as possible.

Don't call me baby again

You got your reasons

I know that you're tryna be friends

I know you mean it

Don't call me baby again

It's hard for me to go home

Be so lonely

Henry sat in his car after getting yelled at by Lauren, Anya, Freya, Joey, and the director, staring at the tree just outside his windshield. He let his emotions get the best of him, and now filming was suspended until they could find a replacement for you. No one was mad at you, no one blamed you. Not even him. He’s the one that fucked up, he’s the one paying the price.

He dug his phone out of his bag, and wasn’t surprised in the slightest when he had a whole bunch of unread messages. He filtered through all the threats that your Marvel friends had sent them.

Chris: you are unbelievable. i cannot believe you treated her like that. my first impression of you being a complete and utter dickhead was true. i can’t believe i was ever friends with you.

Anthony Mackie: for Superman, you’ve done some serious damage. and that’s saying something. i’d be amazed if this didn’t ruin your career completely. you dont get to sit there all high and mighty simply because you’re ‘heart broken.’ none of us are going to keep this quiet.

Scarlett Johansson: count your days cavill. never thought you’d be the type to make a girl cry.

Elizabeth Olsen: congrats on ruining your career. if you even come near Y/N again, we’ll do much worse than ruin your career. believe me.

He threw his head back against the seat. They wouldn’t take it to social media, would they? He thought as he clicked on his instagram app.

The first thing he saw was a post from Robert Downey Jr explaining what had happened.

He’d fucked up bad, and there was nothing he could do to fix it.

To be so lonely, to be so

To be so lonely

To be so lonely, to be so

To be so lonely

[some-kindofgnome]

Kinktober #5: Pretty Please? -  Hawks

In which you and Keigo coin a few new petnames for one another.

Characters: Takami Keigo (Hawks) / f!Reader

Warnings: smut (18+ please!), daddy kink, dom!Hawks, vaginal sex, a touch of begging, inappropriate use of gen Z social media apps

Notes: This man is getting dangerously close to the top of my simp list. It’s really becoming an issue. Today’s prompt is ‘Daddy Kink.’ Also, I didn’t come up with ‘kid’ as a nickname that Hawks uses... if u know, u know

Kinktober Masterlist

“How long have you been here?”

Keigo’s voice echoes in the hallway of his little apartment soon after you hear the jingle of his keys in the lock. While it certainly isn’t your first time coming to his place without him, you’re still not quite used to the appearance of that silvery little key dangling from your key ring.

Nor are you used to hanging around the place by yourself. You spent the morning in a coffee shop around the corner, working away- popping by the agency to see Keigo over lunch. He’d told you to come back here if you needed somewhere quiet to work- bonus points, since you’d be here waiting when he got home.

“Came straight after lunch,” you call absently. Your eyes are glued to the screen as you finish your thought, typing out your last email of the day. As soon as you hit send you snap the laptop shut, pushing it gently across the kitchen counter while climbing out of your chair.

“Hi,” you purr, catching up to him in the hallway. You grab his hand and he pauses, leaning in to peck your lips. When he pulls back, he’s got a lazy smirk drawn across his mouth.

“How you been, kid? Sure feels good comin’ home to you at the end of the day.”

“Don’t get used to it,” you tease, pushing your shoulder against his. You lean down and nuzzle his jaw, letting your cheek scrape against his scruff. “I’m a strong, independent woman.”

“Which is exactly why I love you,” he replies. He grabs your chin and pulls your mouth back to his, catching it in a kiss that would have surprised you with its tenderness, if you didn’t know him so well.

When you first met, he played the Cheshire Cat role eagerly. Smirking at you, pulling lines on you, making you think he was the laid-back hero that everybody knew him as. But the more time you spend with him, the more he opens up. The more he lets himself be vulnerable to you. And you him. You’d never meant to let him in so easily, but…

Here you are.

You flop down on the couch together, Keigo leaning against one arm while you keep your head cradled in his lap. He’s happy to fold his wings over the back of the couch and absently stroke your hair while you catch up a little. It’s only been a few hours since you’ve last seen one another, so you settle quickly into comfortable silence.

That’s when you open your phone, idly opening Tik Tok and starting to scroll. Every so often you come across a video related to Hawks. He’s got a lot of fans out there- and a lot of fangirls, too. You don’t mind, though. Sometimes they get a little too personal, however, and you like to scroll.

This time around, you don’t scroll fast enough.

You don’t catch the whole video, but it’s a clip of Keigo that somebody took on their phone. Suddenly, the audio cuts out and it’s interrupted by the sound of a female voice, moaning more obscenely than you could ever hope to.

“Daddy,” it mewls, and you scroll so fast the phone almost topples out of your fingers.

Frozen, you pull your eyes carefully up to meet the gaze of your boyfriend. He definitely heard. And while he knows that Tik Tok can pull up some random videos at times, you can see the flush spreading across his cheeks.

He shifts a little underneath you, hand paused on top of your head. He clears his throat.

“What was that?”

You consider your next words carefully.

“…A video.”

He swallows hard and licks his lips.

“What kind of video?”

Suddenly, it hits you. You have the reins. You realize exactly what’s going through his head. And the next time you look up at him, it’s with a wicked smirk stretching your lips.

“Why do you want to know?” You ask, and your voice has taken on the low sort of drawl that makes him shift again underneath you. “Don’t tell me you like the sound of that… Daddy.”

You feel the barest vibration in his chest as a tiny groan escapes him. He doesn’t move, but you can see the way his wings bristle, the joints stiffening a little as his feathers spread. Your stomach jolts excitedly.

“Don’t call me that,” he grunts, but you know he doesn’t mean it.

The two of you are far from vanilla most nights. You’re definitely up for a little experimentation. And pet names flow between you like water. But this feels… different. This feels controversial.

Oh, fuck. You’re into it, too.

“You do.” You scramble into a sitting position, swinging one knee over his thighs. He looks up at you with a pair of lidded tawny eyes, his jaw drawn slack in an expression that spells sheer arousal to you. You know that face well, and it makes your body ache.

“Do you want me to call you Daddy from now on?” You’re not letting up, and as you lean forward, his hands find your hips. They squeeze. Hard. His wings fan a gentle breeze over your face, and you love the way his breath hitches in your ear.

“Fuck, stop,” he groans. It’s more desperate this time, and as his hips keen against yours you can tell just how hard this is hitting him. He’s half-hard already, straining against the thick denim between you.

“Maybe now’s the time to tell you,” you whisper, “how bad I’ve wanted you all day, Daddy. I couldn’t stop thinking about you all afternoon. I even thought about ducking into your room before-”

That breaks him, and he snatches your hips and stands abruptly. He’s strong enough to carry you easily, and he lifts your thighs securely around his hips before beelining for the bedroom.

When you get there, instead of being spread on your back like the pillow princess he’ll normally let you pretend to be, he pushes you face-down into the pillows, letting your hips hang off the edge of his wide bed. He bends close, his chest brushing the column of your spine as his jaw brushes your ear.

“You brought this on yourself, kid,” he gruffs. He’s already working your sweater up your back. You lift your torso enough for him to wedge it off of you, but he doesn’t wait for you to do the same before he’s peeling your leggings down your thighs and taking your thong with it. The second your ass is bare he brings his palm down across it with a resounding snap.

“Kei-” you start to gasp, but he quickly silences you with another spank that draws a yelp from your throat.

“You started this,” he grunts, “you’re gonna finish it. What’s that you were gonna call me?”

You suck in a shaky breath and let your eyes flutter shut. You deserve this. You want it. All you have to do is take the plunge. The rest will follow. That breath you drew before gets held for a moment. And then you jump.

“Daddy,” you whimper, throwing an extra edge of desperation into it, “don’t tease me.”

“Shit, kid,” he grunts. His belt jingles as he gets his pants undone, and you hear them hit the floor. A breeze from his wings and another pile of fabric hitting the carpet determines that he’s naked now. He’s left your leggings partially on, though, keeping your legs pressed tightly together at the knees.

He knows what he’s doing.

When he steps up behind you again it’s with the warm presence of his bare skin on yours, and you feel the brush of his hand against the back of your thigh, gentle and rhythmic. He’s stroking his cock and you want more than anything to turn your head and sneak a peek, but you know that doesn’t fit into the game you’re playing.

“You ready for me, sweetness?”

He slips a hand between your legs, drawing his thumb along your slit and making you shiver. You could use a little more time, but you’re wet already. He drags his slick thumb down to the swell of your clit and circles it. The tender nerves are already pinched between your thighs, and the sensation is enough to make your hips buck harshly back against him.

Your ass connects with his thighs and he steps back a little, chuckling as he lays one hand in the small of your back to steady you.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you wanted something,” he drawls, continuing to circle your clit with that lazy thumb. It’s making your toes curl against the wood floor as stars explode behind your eyelids.

He leans in close. “Why don’t you tell me what it is?”

“You know what it is,” you choke, because it won’t be any fun at all if you fold right away.

“I know,” he quips, and you can hear the smirk in his voice. “I just wanna hear you say it.” He draws his thumb across your clit in a sudden swipe, making your whole body jump. You squeeze your eyes shut and brace yourself.

“Fuck me, Daddy,” you plead, and he chuckles so low and feral it sends vibrations up your spine. He shifts forward again, hand still pushing you into the mattress. His thumb leaves your clit, but it’s soon replaced by the head of his cock, pressing flush against your slick pussy. You can feel it now that he’s touching you- you’re soaked.

“Now how am I s’posed to say no, baby, when you ask so- ah- nicely?”

His voice breaks as he pushes in, and your whine comes in sync with it. You’re always amazed at how perfectly the two of you seem to fit together. There’s a stretch, but no pain. There’s never been pain. And on top of that, the thirsty Twitter accounts are right.

Your man knows how to fuck.

He bottoms out inside you, sliding a palm to your ass, and lets out a breathy groan. But he’s grinning. You can tell. It’s been a long day for both of you.

For a man who talks so much during foreplay he’s relatively quiet- or, wordless, at least. There’s nothing quiet about the way he grunts as he draws himself back and pumps slowly into you again. He’s testing the waters, but with your thighs pressed together the way they are you’re even tighter than usual.

“Not gonna last long,” he warns headily, and that’s the last thing you hear before he starts to fuck you properly and all your senses go haywire.

When you swim back to the surface, the only sounds in the room are your mingled, laboured breathing, and the rhythmic slap slap slap of his thighs against your ass. There’s something about the angle he’s taking you from- he’s hitting you just right, and you squirm in front of him with a desperate mewl.

“Daddy,” you whine, taking the game and running with it, “daddy, please, I wanna cum.”

“Don’t you worry, sweetness,” he growls behind you, breathless and feral. “Daddy’s not gonna leave you hangin’.”

It sounds different coming out of his mouth. The appeal was already there- anything that turns him on turns you on, too, almost as a direct result. But when you hear it coming from him, it flips your stomach in a way that you could get used to.

He slides an arm beneath your waist and hauls you off the bed, pulling you back against his chest as he continues to fuck up into you. His right hand dances down your hip and between your legs, finding the swollen nub of your clit. He strums it deftly, making you squeal.

“Yeah,” you whimper, letting your head fall back against his shoulder as he holds you close. “Fuck, I’m getting there.”

“Me too, kid,” he pants into your ear. “So damned tight. Fuck, you’re suckin’ the life outta me.”

In another half-dozen thrusts you’re dangling precariously on the edge. He’s still going, hitting you just right and pushing you there one inch at a time. Suddenly he re-centers his grip on you and comes back with renewed ferocity. His rhythm doubles.

You fall.

Your orgasm is particularly spectacular this time around. Your spine goes concave as your legs go fluid. You reach back and grab at his hips as you keen and twitch and rock through the pleasure. Your pussy convulses around his cock and his hips stutter. He grabs you hard, holding you up as he explodes, warm and liquid inside you.

When it’s over, you both collapse onto the mattress. Outside, the sun is painting brilliant streaks of apricot across the sky. A gentle autumn breeze flutters the curtains. You finally catch your breath.

“So,” you sigh, turning your head where it’s cradled on his chest. His body is beautiful, and now that you’ve finally got the chance to look you don’t take it for granted. He’s all long lines and clean muscle, dusted over with tawny hair and the last kisses of the summer sun.

He’s kissing your shoulder as you speak up, one scarlet wing folded neatly at his shoulder, the other fanned out across the bed.

“It’s gonna be Daddy, then, is it?”

He snorts, smirking against your skin.

“Sure didn’t sound like you had a problem with it two minutes ago.”

“I don’t,” you quip, tracing a finger down his sternum. “I liked it. I…” You trail off, and your ears warm. “I liked it.”

He pulls back from your shoulder and rests his head against the pillow beneath him, his eyes casting over your face. Warm and loving and heartbreakingly genuine despite the… sensitive nature of your conversation.

“So did I,” he purrs, and you fall silent for another few minutes. Decompressing. Basking, he’ll say later on. Inevitably, the needs of the evening step in, and as the last rays of light fade from the city you lift your head.

“Dinner?”

His eyes were closed, but they slide slowly open again at the sound of your voice. In the dim like this, they’re the colour of almonds, always soft when they’re looking you over. You fall a little more in love with him every time he looks at you like that.

Then he shoots you a near-boyish crooked grin and your heart warms all over again.

“Whatever you want, kid.”

[mgsapphire]

Ethics and morality... and how they're not the same...

Weird title, and I don't even know if I'll properly approach this one with all the topics I wish to this discuss in today's The Devil Judge essay, because a lot of things peaked my interest, I was debating on doing a separate post for each subject, but I'll do them all in here:

Starting simple

I know we're only 4 episodes in, but I want to break down the things that I often look for in a new show:

Cinematography

Soundtrack

Character building

Plot devices

Social commentary (sometimes)

Of course, these are things most people would consider basics, but I find that a lot of TV shows don't have enough balance in them. Also, cinematography and soundtrack are pretty up there for me because when a plot gets slow, or something like that, I stay for those two (biggest example: King Eternal Monarch).

The soundtrack in The Devil Judge is amazing and the cinematography can be a character of its own. They really get me hooked and are used as tools to properly tell a story. And I'll get into that further down this post.

The onlooker will never understand the actor

Experience is your best friend not only applies to job hunting, but it's true in the real world too. You can't truly weigh in on something unless you've experienced it yourself, you can give it your judgment and everything, but when bad things happen to someone, you'll never truly understand their pain. Am I bringing up because of the difference of mind in Judge Kang and Judge Kim's opinions? On how the public treated the minister's son? No. I'm talking about a very specific scene, where the cinematography told me to think that way and not the dialogue (it's that easy for my mind to be swayed). In episode 3, when the rich are about to dine right after the foundation's commercial for a better future, we see this aerial shot:

What's interesting about this? The seclusion and the enclosed feeling it conveys as a counterpart to the poverty shots we were just shown. Yet, these are the people making ads for a better future, what do they know?

They live comfortably behind concrete walls with no windows to see what goes on apart from the bubble they live in. This idea is further enforced at the party in episode 4, where they're not even a part of the donations, and watch and mock from afar as spectators. Yet, these people call the shots. They even call it commenting, as if they were watching the pain of others on TV.

The intriguing personality and the duality it encites

Now, this was a costume and wardrobe decision, but it was also very well thought of:

Judge Kim wears white and Judge Kang wears black. One is morally perceived by viewers of the show as morally good and the other is perceived as morally dubious at best. However, besides the costume and wardrobe thought put into this, we also have to think about the delivery of this scene and how it may further affect my detailing of this section. Judge Kang brings down the coats, and hangs over the coat to Judge Kim, he's the one who is making that annotation: You're pure, I'm tainted. This can have one of two interpretations:

Either Judge Kang believes Judge Kim to be pure and innocent due to his status as a rookie in the field

Or he believes Judge Kim to be morally white and himself morally black as he's looking at his brother's face and not at Judge Kim's heart.

Because most of the back story we're unveiling is through Judge Kim's perception, there's also an inherit bias we're having as well, because in Judge Kim narrative, he believes he's doing what's right and believes Judge Kang to be evil. In being served information about Judge Kang through Judge Kim's eyes, our bias is inherently skewed.

Another thing is that, when they put on the coat, they're standing in front of the other, as if the producers of this series are telling us they're two sides of the same coin.

The duality is made in more deceitful ways, which include:

A difference of classes that implies one has suffered while the other has not.

A difference of experience that implies one is more tainted while the other is pure.

A difference of age that implies one is a sly fox while the other one is is bunny about to be eaten.

A difference of temper that makes one erratic and the other logical.

Power dynamics

This one, in this one I could make a whole thesis based on just a couple of scenes in the drama. And you know I have to mention it: director Jung being the puppeteer.

It may not be as unexpected at first, nevertheless it brings forward a lot of things I've wished to touch upon for quite some time now. A woman being a puppeteer of an old man in the portrayed dystopia that The Devil Judge is painting makes much more sense than more common demonstrations of these dynamics where it's either a:

A man of power being controlled by a bigger man of power.

A man of power being controlled by a seemingly man of a lower status.

A woman being controlled by a man of power.

Although, there's nothing wrong with those power dynamics, and if they were to be used, a message could also be conveyed, this one in particular works as a megaphone.

A subversion of power in such a way can be interpreted as a true indication of the weak overcoming the powerful. Why? It is not that woman are naturally weaker than men, but that in society, patriarchy has been a big factor in taking voice away from women in order to give it to men.

In order for Director Jung to achieve her purposes, it's smarter for her to do it under the pretense that an old rich man in power is the one calling the shots.

This is better exemplified by her stance when the old man tries to excuse his behavior, and what her moral compass is. I'm not saying I agree with her unethical conduct, but that her morality is directly impacted by the perception of the public of her as a weak woman:

Just because a dog bites a human does the person get dirty?

This is telling on how she perceives the actions of the old man in gropping the waitress. She didn't do anything wrong, even if you touched her, you are the dirty one.

While she's evil, it's a refreshing and deep evil.

The public's opinion and how there's actually logic in the show's portrayal

The public opinion can make or break a person, even if it's not on a public trial like this. While "cancel culture" barely works in today's society, a person's reputation is forever tainted. The show does tell that, but it also exhibits the scary downside of it, by showing how easily it was to make people accept flaggelation as a fitting punishment.

There are many experiments that have tried to test the effect of societal pressure on an individual's decision and the effect of the authority's enforcement of power in the outcome of these decisions. Furthermore, theories based on analysis of human behavior not necessarily relying on experiments can also help break this down. What do I mean? Here's a small attempt at explaining:

Milgram Experiment on Authority: which measured the individual willingness to carry out actions that go against their conscience due to an authority's approval.

Argument from Authority; The idea that people are more likely to use an authority's opinion on something as an argument for their reason. This is often seen in science, where trusted authorities have done the research and offer it to the public. In here, authority bias also plays a role, as we often believe, at first, that an authority must be right.

Moral disengagement: basically speaking, because this is evil or bad, I'm not part of it and I most probably am not actively participating in it. One may disengage by moral justification, which means that before engaging in something that has been previously perceived as immoral, I'm changing my stance on it based on what I tell myself to be logical arguments. This particular form of moral disengagement is very effective in changing the public opinion. I'll be touching on another form further down this post.

Other factors played a part, but these ones in particular came to mind when public flagelation as a form of corporeal punishment was wildly accepted. First, an authority is the one telling them it's correct, to go ahead. Secondly, another authority (the minister) had previously shown approval to such unusual punishment. Thirdly, they are not the ones to be engaging directly in the act, and even if they were, it would be acceptable because an authority has told them so. They may even believe the punishment to be a necessary evil for the greater good.

In fact, the minister's son was actually correct when pleading his case, they were accepting it because it wouldn't affect them directly.

Regarding the cinematographic descent of the public opinion regarding the situation can better be exemplified by the old man we've seen through the episodes.

Does suffering justify misdeeds?

Today I came along the difference between excuse and reason. You may give a reason for your behavior, but it doesn't excuse it.

Not because I've suffered through shit, means I have to make you suffer too.

I may explain myself, but it's on the other side to excuse me.

Why I hate the unreliable narrator and why I love it so much

This story has been told mostly through the eyes of Judge Kim and what he hears and sees regarding Judge Kang, if anything, the narrative is very close to that of the narrative we've seen in The Great Gatsby. An enigmatic man is being narrated to us from the eye of a man who hasn't known him for a long time.

How is that an unreliable narrator? The narrator has their own set of bias and moral standards which function as lenses through which they see the world.

Another way of putting it would be the way teenage romances are often written in a first person narrative where either of the two teenagers is the narrator, so the author can sell to us something as simple as offering a pack of gum as the most romantic act on earth. We're perceiving interactions through rose tainted glasses.

In this case, we're seeing the interactions through Judge Kim's eyes who doesn't trust Judge Kang from the get go due to his own preset bias.

The narrative becomes even more unreliable as we're not exactly sure if what Judge Kang disclosed himself is a fact.

The reason why I love this narrative is because it leaves a lot of space to make simple plot twists to a narrative and make them seem grand, and can elongate a story without making it obvious.

The reason why I hate it is because sometimes, in tv shows mostly, we as viewers can see the other side of the story and grow increasingly frustrated with the main character's prejudice and misunderstandings (I'm looking at you my beloved Beyond Evil).

Also, because I have to wait for a long time before I actually have a clear picture of it.

[satorugojowidow]

Jujutsu Kaisen ep 149 spoilers, analysis and maybe theories about what Gege is doing

In my opinion it wasn't a romantic kiss, was a CPR. She was unconscious and the kiss came after Mao hited her chest. Is a CPR move to me.

About incest in Jujutsu Kaisen

First i will like bring this post wich im agree with it. Write about incest or abuse is not wrong. What is wrong is romanticize. In my perspective incest is not romanticize in JJK.

Mei and Ui: Mei character is built as someone who has no values or etic at the point where she doesnt even understand it. She even says to Satoru that she does not understand any issue not related to money. She is also potrayed like someone who only cares for herself and we saw that when she ask Ui to sacrifice for her and quickly left Japan in Shibuya incident leaving everyone behind and taking only the money with her (and Ui who is more like a tool to her). It is clear that she has an abusive relationship with his brother. Ui is potrayed like someone who is absolute caught in Mei web. I think there is an effort to show this relantionship like something twisted, abusive and sick. So its clear to me that there is no intention from Gege to romanticize it.

Maki and Mai: first i have to say that kiss looked more like a CPR than a romantic kiss. But i going for the way where this kiss is a romantic kiss to express my point. If there is a romantic feeling between this two (wich i believe not), we have to understand it in the context of their shitty family. There is high chances that cousin x cousin marriage is happening inside the clan. This interfamily marriage are common in clans, dynasty, etc., to protect to blood line and all that shit. Main clans in Jujutsu society are very interested in keep their inherited technique so nobody would be surprised that they practice this type of incestuos marriage. The fact that they look alike so much in Zenin clan could point to this. So Maki and Mai grow up in a context where incest happen. Also the amount of physical and mental abuse in them and the fact that they only have each other to gain support could make this incest feeling possible. As they didn't grow up in a healthy environment and didn't have anyone to teach them about healthy feelings or even love in any form (their mother is totally caught in patriarchy). Again, there is an effort to show that all the problems that Toji, Maki and Mai have are because their shitty family. If incest is happening here is becaue this two girls never learned how to love in a healty way and they are confussed about their feelings. If May really kissed Maki is more like she doesnt know how to express herself because she grow up in abuse and there is no single healthy relationship in her family to look up.

Conclusion: incest is not romanticize in JJK. Maybe need to be portrayed more like a "trouble", maybe. But i think is enough portrayed like a trouble.

Mai's death: I know everyone is hurted because her death. But, lets be honest. We could see that comming. I predicted in my JJK Oracle serie but is not like im super smart or anything, is something we could see comming from how JJK story is build and the meaning of pass deaths in the manga.

"Mai deserve better": of course she did. But I dont think this story is about give what people deserve, is not about make justice for them. Real life and real world is extremly unfair. A story with any kind verisimilitude would potray unjustice.

"Gege is killing all his characters": In the same line of verisimilitude if some big events happen like shibuya incident we can not expect that everyone comeback alive. If all characters always comeback is more like a plot armor.

"Pointless dead" "Mai's arc wasted": All dead in JJK until now have a meaning and Mai's arc was this one from the start. Let try to figure out this.

In the story Maki is the main character, Mai (sorry to say) was auxiliary to her story. Mai is presented to develoment Maki story. To go deep in the patriarchal structures of Jujutsu world and to present the shitty dinamic of the Zenin clan from inside. Mai personal develoment was to understand that Maki actions wasnt the problem, but her all family itself. When the break point comes (Ougi desition to kill both) she realize that live peacefull in the clan dont depends on her obedience, it dependence in what the clan need from her from a moment to other. That there is no way to live peacefully in such an environment. That is when she can finally understand her sister action, reconcile with it and her, and support her sister road. Sadly she can only support with her death. But she doesnt die like subordinate person (like she was in pass episode or like her mother is) she die free, she is not simply killed, she gives her life in order to save her sister and destroy the clan. She emancipates at the end. Of course is sad that she has to die, but again, life is unfair and this story is not about make justice.

In jujutsu kaisen "death" works to build the living characters that go trought that lost.

Suguru -> Satoru

Junpei and Nanami -> Yuuji

Also, it establishes the situation where the characters are. Like Yaga's death wich leave the students in their own.

"Kill another female strong character": Well, i go for this one. There is no much female strong characters so Gege do something for gender equality and stop killing them.

-------------------

In my opinion, and this is in some way a theory, what Gege is trying to do is reverse the typical shonen story.

He brought the typical elements from a shonen: a regular boy who discover that he is not so regular, lots of fights, power up, and even some kind of tournament (just to name a few one).

But at the same time Gege is slowly deconstructing the elements of shonen genre:

The hero is the strongest character and save everyones. We have Satoru is the strongest character and he fails to save people at the point when he realize that "save" dont depends on him. That is why he goes for the teaching/supporting role. Help others to save themselves. However situations keeps going in a way where he losses his closes people and he cant do anything to stop that.

So we can say this: in JJK heros cant save others.

In regular shonen the social structures are never questioned. In JJK we can see how those structures are the villain. We have the conservative structures of jujutsu society wich higher up keep against everything because their privilege depends on it. And the patriarcal structures. Even if JJK is stil away from being "feminist" is one step in the right direction from most regular shonen. Specially those shonen where the main female character is there just to be cute and she cant even speak her mind

We all feel like fell in some kind of trap in JJK. Because in firsts episodes we were like "oh, how cute and fun. look there is a speaking panda" and then we fell in angst. I think this is part of how Gege builds the story to reverse the genre.

Dont expect a happy ending, expect a end with meaning. Dont expect to see your fav getting what they deserve, expect to understand why they went through that.

And remember one thing: Yuuji death is not in discussion in the plot, what is in discussion is how he is going to live what he has left of live.

[yoshkeii]

“𝚁𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝙾𝚗 𝙼𝚎”

࿐ character(s): Sakusa Kiyoomi, Akaashi Keiji

࿐ genre: sfw, comfort for khai himself

࿐ type: imagine | scenario

࿐ requested by: N/A

⌦  male!reader (he/him)

⌦ ‘i was inspired by Rain on Me by Joji because I’ve been binging his songs again. but its not r e a l l y related i just like rain a lot and this song is mmm.’

⌦ kinda self-indulgent for comfort purposes.

𝚂𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚜𝚊:

Sakusa has often seen you alone. Isolated. Anywhere where there isn’t much people or a single person. He always found you alone. His curiosity kept growing each time he saw you in the halls, classes, and even on campus. You never seemed to talk to many people and kept to yourself.

He stared at you from the entrance way of the main school building, watching you just walk out with no cover from the pounding rain. Not even an umbrella. It didn’t seem to phase you as the droplets clung to your uniform and hair. Soaking in quickly. He squinted at you only having the thought of you becoming sick for being so reckless about it. He didn’t know why he was worrying over some student, a stranger for that matter.

Clenching the handle of his umbrella as he opened it and walked out, he followed after your steps. Obviously leaving the campus as well. Or so you thought.

Running your hands through your quickly soaked hair, you let out a sigh. The rain felt nice on your hot skin, as someone who overheats more than an average person it made things felt stuffy and too humid to breathe in. Simply felt like you were suffocating. Another sigh left your lips as you sniffled, but the rain was also nice enough to hide the dripping tears that merged with the droplets into one. Falling down onto the cement. Wiping your eyes one more time as well your face you didn’t feel the cold water hit your body anymore, looking up you see an umbrella shielding you. Your eyes trailed down towards the hand that held the handle, then the person who was holding it. Eyes widening in surprise before squinting into curiousity.

“E-eh.. Sakusa.. Kiyoomi? Was it??” you sniffed, wiping your face again as if you weren’t just crying minutes ago. You continued to stare at him till he replied but he doesn’t, but the slight nod he gave you after the silent moment reassured you it was Kiyoomi.

“Not.. much a talker like I heard.. haha. Mind telling me why you are covering me up? I know you aren’t the social butterfly yourself.”

“I don’t want a classmate getting sick. It would spread eventually to me.” He stiffly said under his mask.

“But the rain is really pleasant sometimes. Have you tried just like yknow.. get soaked in the rain or let the light rain touch your skin? It’s really not bad, and despite I never get sick from it.”

“You were a month ago.”

“How the hell do you know that-” “H-hey don’t just go quiet on me!” “Saku-..”

“I don’t want you to get sick again.” Sakusa interrupted, the light blush hidden from his mask. He didn’t know why he was flushed. But being by you made he felt warm and cozy despite the harsh weather that surrounded you both.

Without another word from both of you after his response, it fell silent. Only the sound of the thudding rain against the umbrella and floor accompanied of the slight splashes of cars passing by as he walked you home.

It felt oddly calming. Safe. You won’t let the rain drench you again.

𝙰𝚔𝚊𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚒:

Akaashi knew about you only because you have been in similar classes beforehand with each other. Interacting so lightly and so little, but the deadly growing of curiosity grew in him. And even now having you part of the volleyball team that curiosity grew more and more. Each practice. Each class. Bokuto took note and questioned Akaashi about the quiet male. Only receiving a blunt reply of just curiosity, but Bo thought of something else entirely.

It was like any other day of practice, everyone refining there abilities on another chilly fall day. The squeaking of shoes continued in scattered rhythm, the slams of volleyballs bouncing onto the hardwood floor echoing, the quick instinctive movements of the players doing their roles. As setters, middleblockers, and such. But the sight of you blocking someone’s block silently before the group at your net dispersed into a break, watching you slink away outside for some air.

Taking a deep inhale of the chilly air easily followed by a quick exhale. You wiped the sweat off your face with your shirt, jumping lightly at the sudden monotonous voice of the messy raven-haired setter.

“Hey.”

“S-shit! Jeez Akaashi, you scared me..” you sighed in relief, relaxing your tensed muscles. “Thought you were coach or something to scold me again..”

Akaashi only hummed before lifting you a water bottle. Thanking him with a soft smile as you took the bottle, your toughed up fingers brushed against his made electricity run through his veins. Just staring at you blankly as you drank some water. Averting his gaze swiftly away as you glanced at him from the side, catching him in the act.

With a small laugh coming from you, his eyes looked back at you in curiosity and confusion. The slight flush on his face could be blush or could be just from the cold, he wishes it was from the cold... 

“You sure seemed so tense than your usual self y’know that Akaashi? Finally taking a liking of a me now?” you joked with a smile.

“I- I..” only soft words left his lips, unsure on how to reply. stuck.

He watched you mention something about it sprinkling. Pointing at the soft drops of water from the light clouds above fall down, seeing you stick your head out from the cover to let the water fall gently onto your head. Watching your hair dampen as you raised your head up and back into cover, water dripping down your hair and face. You look aimlessly over at Akaashi, who was there the whole time. Staring again. A deep flush across his face. 

You looked amazing. The sun slightly poking out from the clouds as the rain halted, reflecting on the leftover droplets on your face n hair. Making it shimmer like littering stars in your hair. “..h-handsome..” he mustered out biting his lip immediately as the words slipped out.

The flustered expression on your face signaled the instant regret within him but your fucking beaming smile blocked out the regret and anxiety. Only replacing it with awe and adoration.

The setter was smitten over the reckless middleblocker.