#its true reality

[heph]

D2: Dependency

I depend on u

[teratomatica]

you always land on all fours

[dollopole]

I was just thinking about the fact that in so many Merlin fics, Merlin keeps being an healer/doctor/medic, which makes sense, since that’s how he started his life, by helping people however he could, but now consider this:

Merlin, who has lived so long and more than probably witnessed the deaths of thousands, even of those he loved, cherished and respected. So what if a millennia of life completely flipped his view on what it means to heal and study medicine. What if after all Merlin saw, everything that happened had the opposite effect on him, which means that he stopped trying and left the job to someone else.

Merlin still helps, surely, in the end, it’s in his nature as human, but we can already see how he changed, even only after ten years of being in Camelot and witnessing death after death.

What if he despaired because disease spread and not even his magic could help it, what if his magic decided that humans had to live with their own course of actions and so his magic simply refused to help them, which got Merlin just angry at the prospect of doing this for so many years.

But now take into consideration when Arthur returns:

I believe Arthur would be the healer/doctor/medic this time around.

He would be eager to help everyone he can, because that’s also in his nature, but since he can’t do it anymore in the way he once did, he has to find another path for him, a path that would make him heal too, heal from all the times he killed, instead of helping someone in danger.

Arthur lived a life of death even before Merlin could start to think about killing someone.

Arthur had his hands smeared with blood since he was a child. Being Uther’s son was automatically, in both magical people and peasants’ perspective, who lived under Uther’s tyranny, a sin and a guilt, even before Arthur could pick up a sword.

He did not just kill sorcerers, but he was raised with a mind of a killer of justice. To defend his kingdom, his father, his counsellors, his court and his people no matter what he felt regarding it, was and had always been his main duty.

He was trapped in a murderous cycle, literally, where he couldn’t do anything but raise himself to believe that the only way to help people was to kill them.

On one side, we have a man who spent his life helping people and who got tired of death, and on the other side, we got another man who spent it killing people and still got tired of death.

But to Arthur and Merlin it happened in different ways.

Where Merlin left the responsibility to someone else, Arthur decided to take that responsibility himself, in the hope that maybe, one day, he could bring back to life all those he had condemned for the simple act of living as themselves.

[lotus-pear]

rewatched madoka magica again today bc i fucking hate myself and to absolutely no one’s surprise i went through all five stages of grief in a single evening

[catenary-chad]

AC/DC is a VERY smart song, one of the reasons it’s my favorite lyrically in the show is that it’s so explicitly about electric trains and has multiple references to super interesting issues/traits with them. This doesn’t go into the broader electricity puns (which are shockingly versatile), just the ones most relevant to trains

“Feel my magnetism”

I’m still trying to figure out if this is an issue with remotely modern electric trains and motors, but I have heard a claim about a turn of the century New York Central S-motor (one of the very first mass produced electric locomotives!) basically “picking up and stealing” some tools left near the track this way and then dropping them when switched off.  Basically the whole “pulling in things with magnetism” has at least some real life precedent with trains.  

“AC/DC it’s okay by me/ I can switch and change my frequency”

This was perhaps the defining feature of the CC 40100 Electra’s helmet was based on.  Due to inconsistent electrification systems (due to early 20th century tech limits) it’s very common to have 2,3, even 4 voltage locomotives and EMUs since it’s cheaper and easier than replacing all that infrastructure.  Having both AC and DC compatibility is actually super old, the New Haven Railroad had one of the first AC-powered lines ever and the very first AC locomotives there had to be equipped for both it and the existing DC third rail in other sections.  But being able to run on multiple AC frequencies is much more recent, and the CC 40100 was an early example of it.  The Northeast Corridor in the US actually requires trains capable of running on THREE different AC voltages/frequencies, being able to “change your frequency” is an important requirement there (and in continental Europe)  

Basically, silly 70s-80s era bi allusions are just how electric trains are.  It’s so out there but so on the nose.  It’s probably the single smartest writing decision of the show because it works so well and talking train media otherwise NEVER talks about these aspects of electrification.  

“I can shock you, I can set you on fire”

The history of diesel and electric trains involves so, so much spontaneous combustion.  Exploding is almost exclusively a steam engine thing, but if they wanted to dramatically kill Electra or Greaseball or any of the Nationals, this is always an option and weirdly underused.  

“I can reach up and pluck down the lightning/watch the conductor, see the live wire”

Direct reference to overhead electrification and how pantographs are raised to make contact.   Also fun play on train conductor/electrical conductor, which is popular in trolley/train jokes.  This system is something almost exclusive to trains and part of why they are so established, efficient, widespread and convenient as electric vehicles.  They’re genuinely absurdly OP vs basically all other forms of traction since they don’t have to carry their own fuel/power supply and can have ridiculously high single-unit power since the only limit is how much capacity the power grid has (and how much can be practically used without wheelslip).  Due to their fixed paths they can run this way vs needing batteries and totally bypass the decades of density limits those had.  Even today batteries are not really practical as a main power source for anything bigger than commuter EMUs and switchers.  

(Trolleybuses are a thing and there’s been attempts at sticking pantographs on trucks… and I guess bumper cars technically count too lol) 

Shoutout to Stexico for having a very different chorus with somehow the exact same sentiment. 

“Macho/Hembra es mi conector” (Male/Female is my connector)

This is just a hilariously matter of fact statement about the electrical connections on AAR standard passenger engines and coaches, which I think Mexico uses since their rail system is so US-based but I could be wrong (privatization axed basically all their passenger services around the time Stexico came out and there’s very little even today).  The stuff about “with my switch I connect you” is also incredibly matter of fact because there’s usually a separate switch or dial to turn on head end power on locomotives.  

Electra is based on this very 70s bi stereotype/trope that lumps in the botanical definition of “bisexual” and makes characters “both male and female” in a way that’s inconsistently trans, GNC, and/or literally being 50/50 both in a way that doesn’t work that way in humans.  Velvet von Ragnar from Never Too Young to Die is almost IDENTICAL in this regard as another example.  But the hilarious thing is that it’s just… incredibly matter of fact and literal when applied to electric trains because so many of them are able to run on both AC and DC power because rail electrification is so messy and many of them are technically “both male and female” going off electrical connections.

Anyways, tangent aside

I do not know enough German to appreciate the intricacies of stuff like word choice or idioms in the translated lyrics but these ones are fun because they’re explicitly about overhead wires

“Steh unter Spannung”

I’ve seen the translation given as “I’m a live wire” but the more literal one seems to be “stand under tension/power/voltage”. “Tension” is often used in place of “voltage” especially outside of English, but there’s a fun double meaning with trains specifically. The allusion to voltage/power in overhead wire is obvious, but  literal catenary wire tension is also SO important specifically in rail electrification.  The wire has to be tight and straight enough to make proper contact with the pantograph (and getting the upwards pressure on those is also important).  Europe has mostly reasonably modern lines with adjustable weights to keep wire tension constant but the northeast US has HUGE issues with outdated systems with fixed wires that sag in the heat (then get snagged on pantographs and torn down) or snap in the cold when they shrink/expand.

“Ein Griff von mir” (A grip of mine)

“Holt den Blitz aus der Leitung,” (Takes the lightning out of the wire)

Also seems to be a direct reference to pantograph pressure/contact with overhead lines, similar to the English version of this line.  There’s a strong hand/arm association with pantographs in general due to their design, modern ones bend in arm-like ways and “touch” the wire in a very particular way.

Also this is probably just wild coincidence but “Griff” makes me laugh because Zaine Griff was the workshop Electra.  

[madadrawing]

Joyce is such a fascinating character to me cause she feels so... defeated? In a way that feels at the same time distinct and very similar to Harry. I think the reality lowdown sometimes gets written off as being manipulative, and maybe there's an element of that, but she's also self-aware and vulnerable in a way I can't imagine a woman in her position would ever be with Harry. And she seems genuinely sad about how everything turned out; she wants to be forgiven by Harry, and if you do, she doesn't feel like she deserves that forgiveness anyways. She's intelligent, and aware of history in a way that real world CEO and economic leader types rarely, if ever, openly admit. She openly regrets the way all that history played out, and it's so fascinating to me that she chose her idealogy and career while knowing and internalizing so many emotions about the revolution. She wanted them to succeed; but she's a survivor, first and foremost.

There's so many characters I wish we would ever get to see more of, but at least for me, Joyce seems like a character I'd really love to learn more about her past. Especially with how she talks about Cindy, it makes me feel like she had a revolutionary streak when she was younger; I doubt it was lost in any way that wasn't boring, life washing away her edges until all that remained was what we see in the game. Maybe it'd make her less interesting to learn more about her, but she's one of the most fascinating characters in the game to me, in a game filled with some of the most interesting and thought provoking characters I've seen in the medium.

[itadore-you]

pairing: nanami kento x fem!reader c/w: implied smut, not canon events but it should be w/c: only 600 words today sorry <3

The way how Nanami tears off his clothes when he gets home: his tie already loosened the second he gets in the car; the dents at the back of his stiff, expensive oxford shoes because he can't be bothered to take them off properly; the trail of clothes left along the hallway as he finally reaches you. You've been waiting for so long for him to come back home, to be in your arms again. All those hours spent in a dull trance, wary and anxious that he's been badly injured from this mission.

The second that the hallway lights spill from underneath the door, you stand up giddily, knowing that he's back.

'My love...' Nanami says breathlessly, the chill from outside still burning on his cheeks. You rush into his arms, relaxing at his touch.

'Thank god you're back, Kento, I missed you so much.'

'I know, honey. I missed you too.'

You help him to unbutton his shirt, knowing how much he hates being in his work clothes. Nanami is eager to kiss you the moment it drops to the ground, hands circling your waist to bring you in closely.

'I quit today. It's all over now,' He pants between your kisses. 'You don't need to worry anymore.'

'What? What's over?" You're praying hard between each second you hold your breath, the day has finally come -

'I quit the job. No more fighting, and no more curses. Today was the last day.'

With his words, you can almost feel how each and every fibre of muscle in his body finally relaxes, how something comes back to life in his eyes again when he looks at you. Something about loving someone so deeply has imprinted on your soul, to a point where you start to think that maybe you become your other half somewhere along the way. Maybe emotions aren't all for one to bear - when one's away, you can still feel the other's suffering.

'When Nanami's happy, you're happy' is an understatement. The two of you are euphoric as you hold each other; Kento sweeps you off your feet as he's unable to contain his joy.

"I might have to burn these clothes forever. I never want to see them again," He sighs after eventually setting you down.

"I know it'd remind you of the past, but Ken," You watch as he kicks the shirt, tie and harness to the side - "I do always love seeing you in a nice suit and tie."

He raises an eyebrow in response, making you giggle. "I'll just have to find a new signature colour for you, won't I?"

"I'd love that, Kento..."

"Come, let me show you how much I love you."

With one swift motion, he's got you in the closest room possible, making sure that the surface he pins you against isn't too uncomfortable - it's a little indecent that he could barely keep his hands off of you in the hallway, but with the way how you look tonight (it's simply the radiance that happiness gives you), he can't help himself. Kento Nanami is a lost man until you give him purpose.

Just as he nips at your neck, he pulls away, blond hair falling into his eyes. "I apologise for coming on so quickly, I just-"

"No need to ask Kento, I want you right now."

He nods, pressing a fervent kiss to your lips, almost shaking when he eventually pulls away. "Mhm?"

"And I'd want you again. And again. It can all be tonight or tomorrow, whenever," You pant between kisses. "We have all the time in the world."

------------------------

Death comes to many too often, and even the life of a regular person can be cut short in an instant. Smaller threats outside of jujutsu sorcery still exist. But what's the point in thinking about that? In comparison to Nanami's previous daily life, it feels like nothing can harm him now.

Maybe, just maybe, both of you can grow old together, like this.

[r0zeclawz]

i think part of why i dont like calling the way i draw myself a "sona" is because im plural. like. this body isnt me at all im just living here. im not even the host im just the marketable one who likes to stream. thats not my sona thats me and i will carve this body into the shape of it if i must

[kashmimo]

greenie

[xxplastic-cubexx]

i’m so glad you brought up that bit in excalibur where magneto’s ideal prison is him getting to be a husband and father again, because it’s so relevant to the idea that the house of m reality isn’t actually everyone’s ideal life, but just wanda’s idea of what everyone’s ideal life would be. all the time i see x-fans condemn magneto for house of m because his ideal world is him becoming exactly like his oppressors, but house of m isn’t actually the life magnus wants! any time magnus gets to become a political leader, he hates it. he hated ruling genosha. he hated ruling krakoa. deep down, he doesn’t want to be superior. he just wants to live in peace with the family he lost.

also, shoutout to magda and anya, who never get to be anything other than magneto’s women in refrigerators. i wish they got to be more important than that. i love it every time we see them in comics, but it’s so rare. and shoutout to magda in particular since she’s been almost completely erased from the narrative by the maximoff retcon. really hope we get a reveal that natalya maximoff was magda all along when we inevitably make wanda and pietro magneto’s mutant children again.

i honestly didnt know excalibur was a predecessor to HoM when i heard about both runs so when i saw that set of panels for the first time it really had me reconsider HoM and the 'ideal reality' bit, im surprised i dont see it mentioned more often

i really wish there were more appearances of mags, magda, and anya; if there are stories focused on them i barely see them talked about... ive heard magda is mags' best-written partner from some but i also very rarely see stories that feature her directly named, so i never get to see her beyond the few fleeting instances i just so happen to catch her. id very much like to see more of her and mags' domestic life....

i think if we find out that natalya was magda all along i'll howl: this family really Can get more complicated contrary to popular belief 💀

[put-me-on-a-hitlist]

Rin: *six year old little girl and all cutesy and bubbly and pink and blue and pastels and fashion*

Also Rin: *singing to Korn songs like a pro while sewing her pink frilly dress*

[villainvirus]

turn your back / hello world

[0809sysblings]

Childhood Antecedents of Multiple Personality - Richard P. Kluft

Q.10 Have you ever gotten angry at other people? I don't think I've gotten angry before. Isn't it kind of disgraceful to get angry?

[thetimelordbatgirl]

So uh, the now alleged villain of Descendants 5 is someone named....fucking Uyrn....

I...Fucking Uyrn??? What the actual fuck kind of name is UYRN??? I googled all I could and NOTHING came up, ironically spelling it as 'Uryn' got me a name at least from Scottland, but they spelling it like 'Uyrn' so I need to know where the fuck they got that name if this is true! Also a U name...they on their way to villainise another person of color aren't they??? Because a U name can only mean descended from Ursula's family and the only person who'd have a grudge against Red and Chloe for time travel is Uliana, meaning likely her kid is out for her revenge if this character is real and true to the film...aka Descendants cannot stop villainising POC even if you challenged them, because this would be the fourth film now in a row where it happens (D2-Rise of Red with Uma, Audrey and Uliana (do not count royal wedding as a film it was a short at best made to wrap shit up and its hint to Rise of Red ultimately had nothing to do with Rise of Red so...)). Also for some reason Disney really has a thing for giving Ursula random relatives if this character is true/real and turns out to be related to Ursula somehow, let alone loves making them all into villains somehow, two of which were caused by main characters actions that are somehow either ignored or likely to be treated to be good because look now Bridget is good- you can't be mad your mom's timeline got altered because look at Bridget and how good it is for her-

[mummelthecryptid]

autism 4 autism javey. you agree

[dxxtruction]

Something to just consider is that Armand is a collectivist. Culturally I think this makes sense, considering he would've been raised in his foundational years in that sort of culture that values collectivism over individualism. He's also had to live in several high control environments afterwards, which demanded servitude, where putting himself first would've led to trouble, up to and including death. In the Children of Darkness, for example, the very idea of seeking pleasure at all is against the commandments, and since he is forced to lead this group (under careful surveillance), he can not therefore show if he even wishes to seek pleasure, because this would disrupt the collective thought, and further, place a level of threat upon himself for disobeying the laws he's meant to be upholding. He's at threat that he can be killed for it, because that's how such laws are handled. So he necessarily can not hold an individualistic, self serving, opinion, and hope to live, and lived in that kind of envoirment for centuries. Even the TdV carries on the same sort of traditions to less strict, more secular, degrees. Seeking pleasure in TdV is rewarded, even exhaulted, but the great laws are still imposed to the level of threat which is death, and everyone is always surveilling each other on this matter. He's a collectivist, especially in situations which impose certain, or uncertain threat of violence, for going against the group, or person, as in such a situation being individualistic is perhaps the last thing you may get to ever do. Nothing personally driven, therefore, seems that worth it provided the risk.

Whether he remembers this earliest period of childhood, or not, those sorts of values (likely positive then as things like sharing, community building, reaching mutually beneficial decisions, aid, and consideration of others feelings). Ingrained into his personality, and he doesn't have the kind of amnesia where it appears his personality was fundamentally changed by it. Rather, that since it's more of a dissociative amnesia barrier protecting him from traumas, that his personality would rather be fragmented, as opposed to altered. (Meaning such values are still there, but are now also acting alongside various further alteration to what is means to be in collective. And that if such amnesiac parts ever do surface, it is only reacting as if it is re-experiencing, and in the same context to the trauma. Depending on how complex this part is it could take on further environmental inputs while in this state, developing or simply having, essentially, its own personality... but I digress).

He does things for the group, which can at times only be one person, more-so than he serves himself. Placing what serves situation and context more highly that individual personal traits and feelings. But, by thinking he has no self, he naturally falls to self justifying everything wrongful he personally does, as for the benefit of the group. It's a cognitive distortion which doesn't recognize it's own selfishness because it sees itself as being selfless regardless of actual outcome. Further, this makes it so he takes no responsibility for others actions he may have caused, or to how a situation came about because of himself, if he doesn't then apply having any self to that situation. He'll bend to opinion even if its false, and create or even take on an entire role of falsehood, if he believes it serves a mutual benefit.

He uses this as a kind of shield against the world he must fundamentally view as threatening, and imposing, with very limited spaces of safety. But doesn't impose himself in healthy ways, therefore becomes an enabler of certain toxic behaviors getting out of hand, and creating unsafe environments. Desiring such places being controlled, and predictable, environments, but not fostering what's needed for that, and certainly not in a healthy way. Rather lending to manipulating others, or using threats, or force, to make it so he's secure in this. Again, self justifying that it's for a collectivist benefit. If he does at all recognize his own selfishness it's due to how he's able to come out of his own cognitive distortions, and dissonance, and admit faults and failings. Seeing that hiding his own faults and failings from others is something selfish, and therefore that he does indeed have a self there. In doing so, developing an understanding that he acts as a self in all things, and therefore understanding the effects of his actions are actually his. (Or else falling right back into the distortions). He has to be selfish, in a way, to ever be truly selfless. If that's really his goal.

To want something for itself, as opposed to some other means. To want good, love, and safety, for itself as opposed to what it does. He has to develop a sense of his own idea of these things, in order to form a consistent and more secure identity, not founded or attached to a group or person. And further needs whatever self that is, to be embraced, by himself, and not insecure in how others would react to it. To not be afraid of this self expression and personal desire, thought, opinion, feeling, and so on. By developing his own person he'd be able to better embrace his own bad qualities, even change them. As he then feels he has such agency, and isn't just simply reacting and serving to the world around him. I think there's something in how he changes Daniel which says he is moving in sort of this direction, there's something in how it appears he's roaming around on his own right now that suggests he is on a journey of this sort. I'm not expecting greatness out of it, but I am thinking there will be progress for present day Armand in future seasons. I think he is capable of change, and is not fundamentally as he appears. (And this would align to his narrative arc in the books anyway.)

And just also like I don’t think he knows entirely where the boundaries of anything really are or should be. Between himself and others or like where right begins and wrong ends and so forth. Not a moment in his memorable life, mortal or immortal, hasn't been without the presence of vampires, and therefore conditioned more under vampiric understandings as opposed to human ones. And because he's disconsidering of self, and hasn’t exactly been modeled what these should be, he's not able to function sanely in his environment. He's not sane I think I can say. But I do think he’s someone who learns experientially, and can do that on his own, so where those must lie he’s not in total lack of awareness either.