#its taking me longer than i initially expected

[crstairs-blog]

MY TDA BOX SET JUST CAME IN THE MAILLL!!!! ITS SO PRETTY!!! IM SO EXCITED !!!!!!

[comatosebunny09]

apt 302 | sylus q.

— summary: at first, your new neighbor was as mysterious as he was handsome. after taking some time to get to know him—or forcing your way into his quiet life—you realize looks can be deceiving. — cw: gn reader, neighbors au, neighbors to friends to lovers, profanity, innuendoes, jealousy, misunderstandings, stalker ex, alcohol use, guns mentioned, self-indulgent, allusions to reincarnation, angst, pet names, sylus being an insufferable gentleman, slice of life — dividers by: @omi-resources — notes: this grew way longer than i expected, soooooo you’re gonna hate me for what comes next. anyways, thank you so much for reading! — now playing: my favorite person now - she was pretty ost — tagging: @alfredosaws, @chuppiechanchan @hao-ming-8 @antonneva @sunsets-and-crows @leighsartworks216 @grabby-smitten @nebulorra @minniestarmj @elysiums-light @saiaise @queenofstresss @beewilko @aetherscribit @libriomancer @world-of-hearts @awkwardnurse @huachengnism

Information Technology isn’t as cushy of a field as you initially thought.

Sure, you have a desk job doing the most mundane of things—working the help desk, troubleshooting devices, re-imaging computers. But your job isn’t without its drawbacks. 

Sometimes, the days are long and arduous. The constant customer interaction doesn’t help matters; you’re a bit of an introvert, requiring five business days to recover from just a few hours of socializing. 

So, forgive you for seeking a little respite in the form of your favorite set of pajamas and fuzzy slippers as you ease into your apartment. 

The weight of the world sloughs off your shoulders when the door leading inside clicks shut behind you. You sigh gratefully, the sound of your keys clattering against your entryway table, intermingling with that of your AC humming to life.

You hang your bag and sweater on the coat rack. Trade your uncomfortable shoes for house slippers, the soreness in your heels slowly retreating. The last vestiges of sunlight creep through the slits of your blinds to bathe your home in its ethereal glow before ducking behind the horizon. 

Your apartment is humble. Has a natural, minimalistic vibe with bits of decor displaying your personality sprinkled throughout. You already pay the price of a kidney and two lungs to stay here. No use investing in posh furniture when your job sometimes requires you to pick up and go at the drop of a hat.

Your stomach growls whilst you draw your curtains shut and turn on some ambient lighting via your phone. You’ll eat soon, you promise. For now, you’re on a mission. 

Quietly, you move through your home in search of your laundry area, thoroughly prepared to slip into your PJs following a shower to jumpstart your weekend. 

Too bad a pile of sopping wet clothes awaits you when you open your dryer door. 

“Goddammit,” said under your breath as you mash the power button. It won’t turn on. Figures. You kick the offending appliance. Stupid thing must be out again. 

You had set your clothes to dry before you left for work. You were looking forward to snuggling up with wine and your favorite show, donned in comfy clothes. Seems your dryer had other plans.

You should’ve replaced it months ago when it first started acting up. You had hoped to salvage it a little longer; appliances don’t come cheap these days. Besides, you’ve had a darling neighbor to fix it each time. To extend its lifespan. 

Speaking of which—

Chewing your lip, you pad over your cold, hardwood floor to snatch your phone from the coffee table. Fall onto your couch cushions with a devious smile twitching your lips. It’s getting late, so you don’t think to badger him into tinkering with your dryer tonight. However, perhaps he’ll let you utilize his. At least until you can use your day off tomorrow to shop for a replacement.

You hover your thumb over his contact, his name flanked by crow emojis. Contemplate calling him, but what if he’s busy? This is usually about the time he’s leaving. Instead, you settle for opening your messaging app, already conjuring an excuse.

(You): 🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛💥💥💥 (Sylus): lol (Sylus): good morning to you too. (You): 😒😒😒 dude it’s like 6  (Sylus): 🤷‍♂️ (Sylus): im just now getting up. long day at the office.  (Sylus): whats up? (You): are you busy tonight?? (Sylus): not really. 😏 what did you have in mind ? (You): pause. not like that (Sylus): 😢 (You): my dryer’s out again (Sylus): ah. want me to take a look? (You): nah you already do so much (You): is it cool if i use yours tho? 😬😬😬 (You): i’ll bring you booze (Sylus): lol (Sylus): its fine sweetie. doors unlocked. ill be in the shower. help yourself. (You): 🙏🙏🙏

You take your time gathering your saturated clothes into a basket. On your way out, you snag a bottle of Merlot from your fridge.

No matter how often you’ve been here, you don’t think you’ll ever get used to how much more… put together Sylus’ place is compared to yours.

It suits him—the black and red furniture, the stylish accents littering his apartment. It smells delightful inside, a mixture of mahogany and amber enmeshed with remnants of food. Soulful jazz flows from a record player, fitting the sepia-toned glow of floor lamps and candles flickering on every other surface.

You toe the door shut behind you. Feel so small and out of place amid his decor. You’ve only recently started coming here, having spent much of your time together inside your apartment. Regardless, you navigate his space like it’s your second home, finding his washer and dryer set.

After starting your clothes in the dryer, you wander back to the living room, hands stuffed in the pockets of your cardigan. You take some time to admire the atmosphere. Fingers skim over the various vinyls organized on a built-in bookcase on the wall.

You snort with a half-smile. You know so little about your neighbor, yet you know just enough to be this comfortable with him.

He’s a music buff; that much is for sure. He’s clearly made of money if the luxurious furniture and his car are anything to go by. You don’t press him about what he does for a living. Figure he values his privacy above all else, unlike you.

You’re an open book. The primary yapper in your acquaintanceship, prattling on about your life and aspirations. And he just sits there, wordlessly nodding with a polite smile behind the rim of his glass. Where you would otherwise be wary of being in someone’s home like this, you feel safe around him in a way that almost terrifies you.

“Admiring the decor,” teases a voice from behind. 

You jolt, spinning around like you’ve been caught stealing. You’re met with a smirk beneath scarlet eyes, twinkling with mischief. Strands of white cling to Sylus’ forehead, damp from the warm spray of his shower. He towels his hair dry, maneuvering around the living set towards you.

“Hey, you,” you greet, trying to play it cool. Like your heart isn’t hammering and heat isn’t branching into your cheeks. You attempt to maintain eye contact. It’s increasingly difficult to do so with his physique peeking through his t-shirt and sweats like that.

“Hey, yourself.” There’s amusement in the deep gravel of his voice. A smile in his eyes as he studies you, draping his towel around his shoulders.

You swallow. Try to divert the subject, motioning to his record collection. “You got some new tunes, I see.”

A chuckle is dredged from the bowels of his chest. You feel it pull in your stomach. “Sure did. Got something you might like.” 

God help you as he reaches around you, the fine hairs littering your body standing on end, your mouth agape like a fish out of water.

Unconsciously, you step back, your spine softly thudding against the records display. Your heartbeat’s on a warpath, and you swallow against the dryness of your throat as the veiny, sinewy muscle in his forearm stains your periphery.

He gives you a bemused look before slowly peeling a record from the shelf behind you. Steps back to fish out the vinyl and settle it on the platter, replacing the record that was just playing. 

You release a breath you were unaware of holding. Good job playing it cool, dumbass.

“You alright?” Sylus quizzes with a raised brow. “You seem a little on edge tonight, sweetie.”

You sigh, schooling an unconvincing smile onto your face. Try to ignore how the term of endearment glides off his tongue so effortlessly. You wonder how many other people he addresses like that. 

“Work was…rough today. Kicked my ass. I’m tired.” 

A snarling sound invades the space between you, heard over the gentle croon of the new music. Your eyes fall to your stomach. You rub it placatingly. In all your haste to have some dry friggin’ clothes, you forgot to eat. 

“And hungry, too,” you sheepishly add.

You glance up, and Sylus’ gaze tracks from your stomach to your face. He smirks knowingly, motioning with a nod toward his kitchen. 

“Figured you didn’t eat yet. I made carbonara if you’d like some.”

You smile wryly at his back as he pads away, carrying the scent of cedarwood and bergamot with him. Where would you be without such a doting neighbor? 

You track him to the kitchen. Leaning against the threshold, you watch him procure a bottle of water from his fridge. It’s so very small, dwarfed by his massive hand.

“I suddenly got called for a Teams meeting five minutes ago.” 

Your heart drops, the smile nearly falling from your face. And here you thought you’d have his company over dinner.

Suddenly, he taps your nose, drawing you out of your thoughts. You hadn’t noticed when he got closer, swaddled in the static of your bodies being so close. “Where did you run off to,” he rasps, searching your gaze for something. 

The proximity of your bodies grows stifling, his warm breath glazing over your skin, dizzying. When he doesn’t find what he’s looking for, he steps back, leaving you shell-shocked and utterly confused. 

“In the meantime, make yourself at home. You know where everything is,” he says, brushing past you with an air of finality. 

You strain your ears for the noise of a distant door shutting before you make your move, rummaging through his cupboards and drawers for a plate and cutlery. After you’ve scooped a decent helping of food onto your plate, you settle onto one of his velvet couches, cross-legged and shoveling food into your maw. 

The fluttering of wings piques your interest. You’ve hardly any time to acknowledge him before a tuft of black, iridescent feathers shines from Sylus’ coffee table. The crow studies you curiously, ingesting you with his beady eyes before he preens himself.

“Me-fith-toe!” you greet around a mouthful of food. 

Said crow ducks away, dodging errant crumbs and spit flying from your mouth, cawing in protest. You give him a rueful look. 

Sylus has a soft spot for animals. You noted it the first time you entered his apartment, greeted by his boisterous companion. Funny; he doesn’t look like the type to have such an eccentric pet. 

But Sylus has found numerous ways of pleasantly surprising you, revealing parts of himself to you bit by agonizing bit.

“Chicken?” you say after finally swallowing, offering a forkful of pasta to the bird. Mephisto scrutinizes the food before resigning himself to pecking at it. You smile fondly, your eyes crinkling with mirth. “Mephisto, you cannibal.”

Lulled by the occasional flap of Mephisto’s wings and Sylus’ even tone murmuring things of business somewhere far off in his home, you fall into a familiar rhythm, quietly waiting for your clothes to dry.

You spend the remainder of your evening in your neighbor’s company, drinking Merlot and judging each other’s music tastes, long after your pajamas have dried and settled in the dryer.

“So, have you boned yet?”

You choke on your waffle. Pound on your chest with the heel of your palm to dislodge it. You turn narrowed eyes on the source of the question. She merely shrugs from across the table, sipping her mimosa as if she’s asked the most innocent thing. 

“Bitch.”

“What?” She appears nonplussed, setting her champagne flute down with a definitive clack. All serious when she returns your stare over crossed arms, and you know you’re in for it. 

“You talk about the guy so much I figured you would’ve already, ya know…” The humping gesture she makes under the table is a bit much. 

You blanch. “No, dumbass, I haven’t boned.” Your voice peters towards the end of your sentence. And you peer down at the napkin folded in your lap, heat prickling your face. 

You won’t deny Sylus is good-looking. More like he could be someone modeling Prada on a catwalk. Can’t pretend you haven’t entertained the thought of being a little closer to him, too. More than just the late nights spent talking or him fixing something you broke.

You shake your head. Of all the times you’ve been tucked away in either of your apartments, he’s never made a move on you. Sure, he’s said some pretty suss things. Flirted with you outside of your usual banter. 

And maybe he’s done things to confuse the ever-loving hell out of you—cooked you breakfast when you were drunk off your ass and hungover the next morning. Lended you one of his expensive record players. Shacked up at your place a few times under the guise of “coming to get Mephisto.” But—

Nah. He’s not like that. You’re just neighbors, right? Unofficial friends. Friends hang out all the time, right?

“He’s not like that,” you say brattishly, stuffing more food into your face. At least not with you. 

You don’t miss your coworker’s fox-like grin spreading in your periphery. She taps her cheek thoughtfully, watching you like a smug sibling about to snitch. 

“Sure, sure. If you say so. He’s still a man, though. He might not have tried you yet—”

“Hush,” you interject. The table shakes, cups rattling as you saw into your sausage with your fork and butter knife. You’re done with this conversation.

Try as you might, however, you can’t banish your thoughts revolving around him. Especially with your coworker watching you like that, silently egging you on.

He’s not that kind of guy. 

He’s still a man, though. 

You’ve repeated it like a mantra throughout your day, even as you mindlessly clacked away at your computer. 

Work was a blur. An exhausting blur. Day gave way to the soothing exhale of night, and you were finally nestled in the quiet sanctuary of your apartment, on your couch, entertaining yourself with a game of Uno. It wasn’t much fun playing alone, but you needed a distraction from the mess of your mind when your favorite show couldn’t help. 

It’s a quarter past 9 when a shuffling sound in the breezeway outside your apartment catches your attention. It’s accompanied by the echoed rasp of a recognizable voice, chuckling and murmuring indiscernible things. 

You peel yourself from your couch as if on autopilot, nose pressed against the cold metal of your door as you peer through the peephole.

It’s your nightly ritual—waiting like an overzealous puppy to greet or send off your neighbor. You don’t always get the luxury of saying goodnight in person. Sometimes, he’s gone for days—weeks—at a time. You don’t know the semantics of his job, but you make it your mission to help assuage whatever burdens he shoulders whenever you can.

He’s there to help you, after all. Whether with a glass of wine, a warm meal, or his company.

So, forgive you for wanting to be a decent neighbor. And you would be tonight if not for the scene that passes through the fisheye of your peephole.

It’s Sylus, clad in something flattering and expensive. There’s no mistaking his broad back and shoulders. The purl of his voice, the wispy dusting of alabaster hair on his collar. But the smaller frame with him, well—

Your heart plummets into your stomach.

She’s pretty from what you can glean from the limited view of your peephole. Donned in a dress that’s form-fitting, voice high and light. Giggling silly things, fastened to Sylus’ side, held there by a virile arm draped around her middle. She’s drunk if the sloppy lean of her body is anything to go by. Sylus angles himself near her ear to whisper something, ushering in a new set of giggles.

You watch with your breath corked in your esophagus until they slide into his apartment together, their enmeshed voices fading from the stilled walls of the hallway.

Huh. Well, so much for him not being that type of guy. 

You grapple with this new revelation, a furrow between your brows, hands falling listlessly at your sides. Numb as you drag yourself back to your couch, bouncing comically on the cushions.

You don’t even know why you’re upset. He's a grown man with a…life. You think. 

It’s the first time you’ve witnessed him bringing someone to his place other than you, but it’s only natural for a guy like him to have options. He’s far from hideous. Has the gift of gab, for God’s sake. He’s charming and the very definition of masculine. 

It just stings a little, knowing that it’s not…you that he’s touching like that. 

So, you are definitely not flinging Uno cards onto the coffee table. Muttering things to yourself, gripping the stack in your hands so tightly, the plastic squeaks. What’s even got your undies in a bunch? The man’s not yours. You’ve never screwed around. Never really showed signs of wanting to, so it makes sense he would seek pleasures of the flesh elsewhere. His world doesn’t solely revolve around you as much as you would like for it to.

You’re halfway through a third round of angry card-flinging before a soft rap at your door nearly sends you some 30 feet into the air.

Stomping to your entrance, you peek through the peephole, and your heart works overtime when you catch sight of a wash of black and scarlet.

Internally, you scold yourself for how gullible you are. You throw the door open like you weren’t just cursing him and his stupid existence moments ago. Try to act nonplussed, crossing your arms and leaning against the doorframe with a haughty look. 

Of course, he would smell good. Look good, propped against the threshold like that, an amused cant to his lips, his physique devastating beneath the tight cling of his turtleneck.

“Hey,” he greets, the sound breathy and easy like warmed honey. 

“Hey, yourself.”

He studies you for a bit. Eyes flicker over your face, and you tamp down the sparkling rush of warmth that wades over your skin at the attention. Even when you’re mad at him, your attraction still finds an annoying way of creeping through the seams.

“This is going to sound incredibly strange, and feel free to tell me to piss off, but…do you mind if I crash on your couch for the night?”

You stand up straight. Blink owlishly, mouth opening and closing. “Huh?” is all you’re able to muster. 

He chuckles, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this side of bashful. “Yeah. It’s a…bit of a long story, sweetie.”

“O-Okay,” you say, rigidly moving aside.

“Thanks.” The charm is back on, turned up to max capacity. He brushes past you into your apartment, falling onto your couch with a huff. Quirks a brow at the mishap on your table, the carnage having spilled onto the floor. 

“I’m almost afraid to ask, but were you playing Uno by yourself?”

You ignore him, plopping cross-legged on a floor cushion adjacent to him. Bypassing the tick in your brow, you look off to the side, fighting the embarrassment threatening to take hold of your visage. Shouldn’t he be across the hall, entertaining his company?

“Shut up and grab some cards,” you grumble to dispel the green-eyed thoughts stewing in your mind.

“Bossy.” But he doesn’t contest you, gathering the abused cards to shuffle them. 

The remainder of your evening slides by with comfortable quips. With booze and a break to catch up on Love Is Blind—somehow, he’d roped you into watching it. 

You had no idea he was such a sap. Nearly forgotten how miffed you were mere hours ago. 

He assuaged your worries with an explanation as the sun crept over the city. 

The girl in his apartment was an old colleague who’d gotten drunk and convinced herself that she was anything but. 

Being a good samaritan, Sylus brought her to his place to sober up since the apartment complex wasn’t too far from the main strip of bars. He didn’t want any issues when she inevitably woke up. Messing with drunk people wasn’t his thing. 

So that’s how he ended up here, inhabiting your couch like he’d always been a part of the decor. 

He didn’t owe you an explanation. You were just friends. Still, you couldn’t help the quiet smile that twitched your lips after he cleared the air.

At some point in the morning, you both fell asleep. He looked all serene, too big for your sofa, but comfortable. You watched his lashes flutter from your place on the floor, his lips parting with soundless exhales. Even in sleep, he maintained that guarded aura, his arms folded across his chest. 

You were bleary-eyed, gathering yourself from the hardwood to fetch a blanket to drape over him. He shifted, and he was so pretty with the sun bathing him in an angelic glow like that, his hair bright like a halo. 

You were about to retreat to your bedroom when an abrupt knock tore you from your reverie. You glanced at your guest, ensuring he went undisturbed. He needed the rest. He was a night owl, and something about the sun vexed him, so he typically spent his days sleeping when you weren’t impeding on his time.

You moved to the door, foregoing the peephole to open it. Big mistake.

On the other side stood Little Miss Pretty from the night prior, impatiently tapping her foot. Her hair was flattened on one side, and her dress was askew. By the looks of it, sleep hadn’t been kind to her.

“Hi, good morning,” she sighed, schooling her expression into fake politeness. She straightened herself as best she could, but the white patch of dried slob staining her chin did little to help her plight. You bit back a snicker. 

“I’m looking for a friend. He lives across from you. His name’s Skye.”

You quirked a brow at that. Skye? Oh, honey…

You wondered how many other people Sylus had fed a fake alias to. Or if Sylus was even his real name.

“Haven’t seen him,” you chirped over crossed arms. Pulled the door slightly closed behind you, barring the woman from getting a peek at him, nuzzled up so cozily on your couch.

She sighed with slumped shoulders. A childish pout warped her lips. Her voice shifted into something more bratty. “You sure? Tall guy, white hair, red eyes? You can’t miss ‘em.”

“Not ringing a bell, hun. Sorry.”

It was taking all of you to keep up this ruse. You were fighting so hard to tamp down your amusement. This woman reminded you of an antagonist in a Korean drama, the way she was kicking and huffing about. 

“Where the hell did he go,” she groused. You watched her draw her phone from the pocket of her fur coat, your throat growing dry. 

Your blood turned to ice when a familiar ringtone chimed in your apartment behind you. You stiffened comically; mouth hinged open with shock.

The woman’s expression morphed into one of suspicion. She tried to look inside your home, the upbeat ring of Sylus’ phone still flooding the uncomfortable silence.

She narrowed her eyes, trying to assert her way inside. “What the fu—”

“Hey, girlie. Back the hell off before I call the police,” you warned with a hand pushed to her sternum. She insisted on being unruly, so you snatched your taser from the entryway table, the telltale blue sparks and sharp whip of static causing the woman to jolt back with alarm.

“You’re both insane!” she shouted from the hallway, the stomp of her heels reverberating off the walls as she made her way to the stairwell. 

With a relieved sigh deflating your chest, you eased the door shut. Leaned against it, glancing at the man of the hour. He was still fast asleep, his leg dangling off the edge of your sofa. You smirked knowingly, shaking your head as you disappeared into your bedroom. 

You’d let him sleep for as long as he needed. And you’d give him shit when he awoke about his taste in acquaintances. 

(Sylus): hungry? (You): a little. was gonna make some ramen if you want (Sylus): 🤢 (Sylus): that stuffs terrible for your digestion sweetie.  (Sylus): how about i make you dinner instead ? (Sylus): at the supermarket. need anything? (You): 😲😲😲 (You): you keep spoiling me and i might think you like me (Sylus): 😏 (You): nvm. no don’t need anything. lemme know when you’re back (You): i can help with groceries (Sylus): now who likes who? (You): fkdkos (Sylus): ? (You): sorry fat fingers 

You have a nasty habit of not using your peephole as of late.

Your apartment came with one for a reason. Sure, your neighborhood’s been pretty tame since you’ve moved here. But that doesn’t mean the occasional weirdo doesn’t slip past security, roaming the halls and startling the other tenants. 

You’ve found yourself forgoing the use of it a lot lately, given the only person who typically knocks on your door is the guy across the hall. And he usually calls or texts before he bugs you, but that doesn’t stop him from being spontaneous. You suppose today is one of those such cases after he manipulated you with dinner. 

Maybe his hands are full, you muse, unlocking your door. Though you’re doubtful he can’t handle a few bags. You’ve seen him in action at the community gym, thick cords of muscle rippling beneath a tan stretch of skin. 

You draw the door open with a smile, expecting to see a customary thatch of white. What confronts you instead sends a tide of dread washing over your innards. 

“Oh, thank God you’re home,” breathes a voice you haven’t heard in months. A voice that still makes your body stiffen, and your blood run cold. 

When your senses return, you step back into your apartment, thoroughly intending to slam the door in your ex’s face. They’re quicker, however, wedging themselves in the gap before you can shut it. Grabbing for you, a crazed look warping their features.

“Baby, please! Talk to me! I miss you!”

You bat at their hand, trying vainly to crush them, to scare them off. It’s to no avail, and you wonder if they’re coked up, giving you a run for your money as they try to bully their way into your home.

There’s a softball bat propped on the wall, and your fingers brush the base of it in your attempt to grab it. Something to defend yourself since your taser’s out of reach, tucked somewhere in your bag. 

The sounds of your struggle intermingle, your voice strained and panting, please please please, and your ex’s caught between sobs of your name. 

Just a little further. Just—

Suddenly, there’s no more resistance in your door. You stumble against it, a wild look in your eyes. And then, there is the noise of a brief scuffle. Of a back being shoved against a wall, of rusting plastic bags, of “Who the fuck are you?!”

Amid your panicked frenzy, you glance up to see a back to you. Barring you from the view beyond your threshold, and your body’s awash with relief as you register your savior’s form.

“You would do well to piss off,” seethes Sylus, and there’s an edge to his voice you’ve never heard before. You feel it furling in your stomach, burning your lungs. And in this moment, you don’t know who to be more afraid of.

Your ex makes a sound of protest, but you imagine the cut of Sylus’ eyes deterring them.

There is the scuffling of shoes across the concrete flooring of the breezeway, and you listen with bated breath until the cacophony fades at the foot of the stairs, willing your heart to ease down.

Scarlet eyes shift to you, brows knit with concern. “Who was that?” Sylus asks, tone cautious as if he doesn’t want to startle you more than you’ve already been.

You right yourself, smoothing out the wrinkles of your clothes. Finally grab your bat, waving it intimidatingly as you step aside to let your neighbor in.

“My stupid ex. Just know you saved their life. ‘cause I was gonna—” You make swinging gestures, the metal bat swooping in the air. The corners of Sylus’ eyes crinkle. 

“Slow down before you hurt yourself.” He kneels to retrieve the bags he’d tossed down in his haste to intervene. You scurry over to help, gathering up spilled food.

Once you’re both inside, the bags placed haphazardly on the counter, you’re seated on your sofa, nursing the rush of adrenaline still spuming through you like the hot rush of a geyser. 

“You need to get a restraining order,” says Sylus. He emerges from your kitchen with a tense set to his jaws, two bottles of Angry Orchard clasped between his fingers. 

Plopping down beside you, an arm draped over the headrest, he shoves a bottle into your hand, side-eyeing you as he throws his head back for a swig. 

You babysit the cider, the crisp condensation of it serving to ground you. “Yeah, yeah.”

“I’m not asking, sweetie.”

You bristle under the weight of his tone, feeling much like a scolded child. You know this. Should’ve done it long ago the first time your ex took it upon themselves to do surprise pop-ups at your place—at your job.  

“And an alarm system.”

“I know, I know.”

“I can take you right now to look for one—”

“I got it, Sy! Fuck, I-I got it.” You release a weighted sigh, warring with yourself. 

Not only do you feel silly for being so lackadaisical with your life. But now, you feel even worse for the seemingly impenetrable silence that settles between you. You didn’t mean to yell, frustration and adrenaline having burbled to the surface. He was just worried. No need to take your emotions out on him. 

Sylus exhales slowly, an unreadable expression descending onto his face whilst staring at the wall.

“Sorry,” you murmur, unconsciously patting his quad. You don’t miss how he stiffens; don’t miss the tight coiling of tendons in his neck. You retract your hand, instead drumming your fingers along the bottom of your bottle.

“I’m assuming this isn’t the first time this has happened,” queries Sylus in an attempt to dispel the tense atmosphere.

You shake your head, shrinking into yourself. Stare at your lap, pulling at some frayed threads in your bottoms. 

“How did they even manage to get up here?”

You shrug. The security guards at the gates aren’t always the most attentive. Besides, sometimes, the pin pad leading into the lobby malfunctions, making it easier for anyone to just slip into your complex.

Unprompted, you begin to bare yourself, explaining the possibilities of why your ex showed up.

Sylus listens attentively. Doesn’t interrupt you, watching the subtle shifts of your expressions as you speak. 

You tell him that things weren’t bad in the beginning about two years ago. How your ex said and did all the right things, and they were wonderful. But they wanted something you weren’t ready for. You had some growing up to do, so you broke things off. Moved to another city, started a new job. 

You didn’t bank on them following you. 

The visits were random at first. Occasional run-ins at the park, the bar. Things soon blossomed into something more concerning when your ex found your new address after you relocated to another part of the city to ease the stress of the commute. 

This was their second time making an appearance at your door. You knew you should’ve done something to protect yourself sooner, but you didn’t think much of it then. Figured they would live and let be. Today proved otherwise. 

“You’re grossly naive, sweetie.” 

You snort before gulping down the remnants of your cider. “Way to make me feel better.”

He chuckles, and it’s comforting, your thighs pressing together amid your dinky couch. “It’s what I’m here for. But I could understand how you could drive someone to such extremes.”

You glare at him. “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means…” 

Before you know what’s about, he’s panning in, flooding your vision with the scarlet shine of his eyes. With the wispy dance of his lashes until his breath fans over your molten cheeks. Limber fingers sneak beneath your chin, slightly tilting your head back. 

Warmth wades over you. Your breath swells in your chest. Lips purse as a mysterious shade of burgundy leaks over his irises. His voice drops a few octaves, husky, the sound of it pinching in your stomach.

“It means that you’re someone worth fighting for.”

You scoff, shaking yourself away from his hold. Ignore the bashfulness creeping into your face in favor of being a cheeky little shit. 

“All right, Li Shang. Getting a little too serious over there.”

He huffs a laugh in response, popping up to grab another round of ciders from your fridge.

Ingredients sat untouched on the countertop as your evening eased by. You’d settled on a pizza, catching up on shows and talking, long after the moon had pinned itself to the center of the sky. 

Sylus promised to teach you how to use a gun. He had plenty and would carve out time in his schedule to take you to a range. He didn’t press much after, instead letting the weight of your evening melt from your shoulders. 

He was reluctant to leave you, even after sunbeams spilled through your blinds and you snoozed so quietly, cheek propped against his shoulder. 

His hand never left your thigh. Possessive in its touch as he mirrored your affections from before. 

It’s strange.

Today is your birthday. You’re enjoying yourself, filled with enough alcohol to tranquilize a small goat. 

Your co-workers had dragged you out. Surprised you with dinner, a cake. Took you to the strip of bars lining the streets adjacent to your apartment complex. You were all smiles until your cheeks ached, and you’d nearly thrown up from laughing so much. 

Still, you feel…empty. Like something is missing. Or someone. 

You look at your phone for the umpteenth time. Scroll through your messages, reliving the moment in your head. 

Sylus was the first to wish you a happy birthday. It made you swell with overwhelming happiness, knowing he’d woken up so early to be the first to say it. You don’t think you’ve ever cried harder when he sent a voice message of him singing “Happy Birthday.”

God, for everything he was good at, poor baby couldn’t hold a note to dig himself out of a hole. Still, you cherished the gesture, lying in bed for the first hour you’d been awake, replaying said message and rolling around your bed like an enamored teen.

Even now, you replay the voice note, holding the speaker to your ear. It’s hard to hear it amid the live band playing and the merriment around you at the bar. Try as you might to enjoy what remains of your night, you can’t keep your thoughts from drifting back to a certain smug figure clad in black. 

(You): 🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛💥💥💥 (Sylus): hows it going birthday babe? (You): 😭😭😭 (You): u shuld be her e (Sylus) im sorry sweetie. i had some work to catch up on.  (Sylus): you must be having a good time. 😏 (You): fuk wrk 🖕🖕🖕 (You): am not drink ur dronk (Sylus): lol. you sound plastered. (Sylus): do i need to come rescue you? (You): hum (Sylus): ? (You): hone (You): home (Sylus): 🫤 (Sylus): we need to have a serious talk about you enabling autocorrect. (You): r u (You): home (Sylus): about to be. why ?? (Sylus): sweetie?

Somehow, you find yourself staring at the glossy, black numbers embossed on the top center of his door. 302. It’s ingrained in your memory. You’d probably find your way to his apartment with your eyes closed, driven to it by the familiar smell and homeliness it exudes. 

You’re still a little tipsy. Took some time to sober up as best you could before ditching your friends and catching an Uber back to your complex. You had enough sense to gather everything you’d shown up with. Didn’t hitch a ride with any strangers regardless of how many of them tried to pull you into their arms as you stumbled out of the bar. 

You had a one-track mind. Only wanted to spend the rest of your birthday with him.

With a goofy smile plastered on your face, you knock on his door. You’re singing that infectious song you can’t get out of your head when it swings open.

“Apateu-pateu, apateu-pateu,” you chant, shaking your hips from side to side.

He greets you with an omniscient smirk, eyes softening whilst leaning against the doorframe. “Well, hello, birthday babe.”

“Sup!” you return a little too enthusiastically, pitching forward until Sylus steadies you with his hands. You giggle like a drunken fool, peering at him. Hadn’t realized how good his hands felt, searing through the fabric of your top. 

Come to think of it, you hadn’t noticed many things about him before. His lips are a pretty shade of pink. Skin textured, nose sharp, cheeks high. Little flecks of amber dwell between the scarlet rinse of his eyes. His hair falls into his face, damp from the shower he probably had before answering the door.

“I take it you had a good night,” he says, gaze painting a steady triangle between your eyes and mouth.

“Almost,” you whisper back, surprised by the huskiness of your voice. You lose yourself in the idle stir of his eyes. In the fragility of his smile, and you feel so safe in his hands like this. 

You don’t know what compels you to do it. To conquer the space of hot, dizzying breaths between you. But, you sort of…well…

Your inhibitions hit the floor. With your fingers wrapped tenderly around his wrists, you angle yourself closer to kiss him. You almost pull away when he stiffens. But he seemingly relaxes, and his lips cautiously move against yours as he unconsciously guides you closer.

You cling to the sleeves of his sweatshirt. He encircles your waist in his powerful arms, fastening you to the hard press of his body. He kisses you like he’s waited lifetimes to do it, one hand molding around the apple of your cheek. 

When your tongue sloppily prods the barrier of his teeth, he bristles. Draws away from you with a resounding smack, blinking wildly. You’re confused. Your heart sinks. You try again to draw him back in, but he gently pushes you away, shaking his head to dispel the bleariness. To chase away the spell that’s fallen over you. 

“Baby, wait. No. Not…not like this,” he rasps through kiss-swollen lips, holding you by your hips. You’re wounded. A hot flush of embarrassment washes over you, and your brows knit together like those of a confused puppy.

“Wha-what’s wrong? Did I—am I—”

“No, no, you’re…you're perfect,” he soothes with a chuckle, a thumb gliding over your bottom lip. “Beautiful, even. I just…I don’t think now is a good time to do this.”

“Oh.” You deflate, a scorching film of tears clouding your vision. “Oh, okay. Um, I’ll just—yeah, I’ll go. I’ll…see you around, I guess.”

You slide out of his arms, too mortified to look back as you fumble with your keys. After he murmurs a hoarse, “good night.” Did you misread him before? Misinterpret his actions, his words? 

You’re numb as you sink into your couch. Sobriety slowly creeps in. Stray tears blister your cheeks, but you don’t full-on sob. Can’t bring yourself to, instead laughing hysterically with your face buried in your hands, swallowed by the bleak loneliness of your apartment.

Happy Birthday, indeed.

[malusokay]

5 Classics for girly girls 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Emily of New Moon

The bittersweet process of growing up and finding where you truly belong... The perfect read for the start of a new school year. After her father’s death, Emily Starr is sent to live with her snobbish relatives at New Moon farm. Thrust into an unfamiliar and often cold environment, Emily faces numerous challenges. However, as time passes, she begins to adapt and discovers the beauty in her surroundings. With the support of her new friends—Teddy, Perry, and Ilse—Emily not only finds solace but also discovers her own creative talents, helping her carve out a place for herself in this new chapter of her life.

“If it's IN you to climb you must -- there are those who MUST lift their eyes to the hills -- they can't breathe properly in the valleys.”

Jane Eyre

A true classic for all my fellow gothic-lit enthusiasts, Jane Eyre, reminds us that everyone deserves a love that consumes, challenges, and transforms the very core of your being, offering both profound joy and deep heartache (we love a good situationsship). Following Jane Eyre, an orphaned and mistreated girl who endures a harsh upbringing but grows into a strong, independent woman. As she takes a position as a governess at Thornfield Hall, she encounters the enigmatic Mr. Rochester, sparking a profound and tumultuous romance. Their intense connection is marred by secrets and personal demons, revealing the complexities of their relationship.

“Jane, be still; don't struggle so like a wild, frantic bird, that is rending its own plumage in its desperation." "I am no bird, and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being, with an independent will; which I now exert to leave you.”

The Secret Garden

Mary Lennox, a spoiled and neglected girl, is sent to live with her uncle after the death of her parents. Initially ill-tempered and withdrawn, Mary’s curiosity is sparked by rumours of a hidden, abandoned garden on the estate. As she explores and begins to restore this secret garden, she experiences a beautiful shift (glow-up era). The once gloomy and sickly Mary starts to bloom alongside the garden, rediscovering happiness, vibrancy, and a sense of belonging, making the story a heartwarming tale of growth and recovery.

“At first, people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can be done, then they begin to hope it can be done, then they see it can be done--then it is done, and all the world wonders why it was not done centuries ago.”

Pride and Prejudice

Truly a classic that has shaped my romantic expectations hahah... Elizabeth Bennet battles societal expectations and her own misjudgments in 19th-century England. When the aloof Mr Darcy (he'd totally be a ghoster in the 21st century just saying...) first crosses her path, their initial encounters are fraught with tension and misunderstanding. However, as Elizabeth delves deeper, she uncovers the complexities of Darcy’s character and her own heart.

“I could no longer help saying that I loved him. I loved him not only for his sake but for his own sake. I loved him because he was the only person who had ever really loved me for myself. I loved him because he had made me feel that I was worthy of being loved.”

The Little Prince

A young, otherworldly prince from a tiny planet travels across the universe, meeting various inhabitants and learning profound life lessons. His journey brings him to Earth, where he encounters a stranded pilot and shares his reflections on love, loss, and the essence of human connections. Through whimsical adventures and encounters, The Little Prince explores the importance of seeing with the heart rather than the eyes and reminds us of the value of friendship and innocence.

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched; they are felt with the heart.”

you guys asked for more academia/book stuff so I thought this might be a nice start, especially since I know that many of you are just getting into classics; these are all very much suitable for beginners!! <3

love ya ･:*₊‧✩

[ozzgin]

Count Orlok x Reader Posting a preview of the idea I've had because I can't muster the motivation to write a full fic for it :') content: gender neutral reader, dubcon, captivity, obsessive behavior

When you were sent to the Orlok Castle, you assumed it would be a quick affair. It was the usual business talk, you'd been told, so you entered the gloomy courtyard with haste and obliviousness. You didn't expect that the great gates would immediately shut behind you, or that you'd be promptly and unceremoniously prevented from leaving.

The count explained to you, with factual nonchalance, that you were promised to him as a consort. By whom, you demanded to know, staring the man down incredulously. You were offered a foreign, unfamiliar name.

"I wouldn't expect you to recognize it," he retorted between heavy breaths. "It's been over a century."

It could very well be longer than that, though he shan't bother with numbers. The important details are in his hand: the clawed fingers clutch onto an old, faded letter, which you pry with increasing alarm. The writing is intricate, and you don't understand the language. Romanian? Old Romanian, perhaps? Narrowing your eyes, you can almost discern some words you've encountered during your stay in this country.

"How does this relate to me?"

"It's all there, isn't it?" he takes a moment to observe your confusion, a sardonic smile creasing his features. "Your ancestor."

He searches his pocket and hands you a second letter, this time in your native language. This is a visibly more recent document, probably translated for your sake. It's a deal, an arrangement, written by a self-proclaimed solomonar. You've heard the old people at the inn talking about it; ancient wizards, initiated priests who've studied the secrets of the world under the Earth's mantle. They bring forth the storms and tame the dragons. Count Orlok himself, it seems, is a fellow solomonar who traded his soul to the devil for everlasting life. This time it was your ancestor proposing a deal in exchange for fiendish powers, promising one of his descendants in return.

You'd find it all to be folk and nonsense if you hadn't witnessed the ghoulish creature's prowess firsthand.

"Why me," you cry out, scouring the paper once more. A descendant, it says, yet nowhere does it mention any kind of particularity beyond bloodline. There must've been some distant cousin who could've taken your place just as fine.

The decaying carcass of a man can only chuckle, taking his seat at the end of the grand table. The answer you're seeking is exceptionally simple: he wanted you. Oh, he's waited years for the right human. Decades upon decades, quietly awaiting his reward in all its splendor, until, at last, you came along. He knew from the moment you were born that you'd be the one at his side.

He taps the wooden surface impatiently, eyeing your neck with greed. He's not a brute, you see, he'll give you the time to accept your fate. Make no mistake, however: you are to be his, and there is no escape from it. No one - and he truly means it - no one shall ever love you to the same depths of fervor and pathos.

[hauntedsavefile]

my take on the strangetown premades!

base temp by @/mageofpanic

this took a lot longer than expected + some of these guys look a little more rough than desired but I'm pretty happy anyways!

keep in mind that these are *my* interpretations of the characters that i've curated over the many years ive been fixated on this game :,-)

some design notes below the cut since i put an ungodly amount of effort into the thought procress (its a lot of text, warning you now) ⬇️

- following the ts3 + ts2 genetics, my curious-smith family are darker skinned with less racially ambiguous features, fuller lips, larger noses, etc. (although not every person of that ethnicity is the same of course! these were purely observational looking at their family line). they are afro mestizo in my headcanon, with glarn being afro latino & kitty being mestizo.

- vidcund still has his mullet thing going on but it is a loc mullet!

- my curiouses are generally chubby. i don't have any exact reason for this. i know a lot of people headcanon pascal as being chubby but i think it could be cool if they all were. it also adds visual interest with different body types.

- erin & loki are scandinavian (like me!) so they're already very pale but i wanted to excaberbate that even further by making them albino. this isn't an accurate depiction of albinism as in real life, people with that condition often have health issues alongside that. (if i were to give that any thought, i like to think that loki initially became interested in inventing to benefit his own health issues but then his ambition took him down a darker, more mad sciencetist path). for erin as well, i just think it's cute considering her whole psychic thing, lookin a bit fairy-like + contrasts nicely with her pink colour scheme.

- nervous is darker skinned, exactly the same as his ma since grim doesn't have dna really. (some people have their own school of thought regarding why nerv being super pale, but this is my own). he has burn scars as electrocution causes scarring on skin + organ tissue, which he has gone through, a lot. he has various stitches, scars, and vitiligo marks across his face and body. the vitiligo on his face looks like a skull. this was originally going to be on the left side of his face, where theres no burns, but i figured it made symbolic sense + was a lot less cluttered if the burns covered up the skull vitiligo markings on his face.

- johnny, ripp, tank all have acne / acne scars - typical of teenagers.

- chloe + lola are of different skintones for storytelling purposes. in my little world, chloe and lola are very deeply close but also very affected by the abscence of their dad (him abandoning them), and being the only aliens they really knew of - basically being raised in isolation for most of their life. This is your typical cain & abel tale. Lola always felt inferior compared to Chloe, who had personality and charisma. She was always jealous of that, feeling like she’s always the awkward one + always will be in her sister’s shadow because of this. She tries her best to compensate for this through pouring herself into her work, in hopes that when she gets money, she’ll finally be accepted. This extends into their assimilation to humanness as well. Chloe is able to assimilate better whereas Lola feels like she cannot.

- Ripp is very different to canon.. I don't have a lot of an explanation for this but I just wanted to give him scene hair (also longer hair because I headcanon her as being a trans girl, but a very closeted one so she's in that awkward phase of growing out her hair but pretending like it's just shaggy + pulls it back into a low ponytail). The cleft lip is a bit of projection on my part, as I had a cleft palate when I was younger. Characters that I like will recieve some kind of disability that I have, for Nervous it's deafness + debilitating leg pain, for Ripp its this. I think it's also interesting narrative wise to compare how Buzz & the Beakers both handle disability. Buzz is a very 'tough it out' & 'you're just being sensitive' type whereas the Beakers uhh caused it, with their experimentation.

- I'm gonna be real, I hate Jill's design. It tells me nothing about her personality wise + I'm bummed out how human she looks. We need more weird little girl designs! Tried to find a middle ground.

- Buck has brown eyes like the corrupted version of Lyla. I chose to make him look like a carbon copy of Lyla (relatively speaking) for irony purposes. He has the least memories of her and yet looks exactly like her.

- Kristen is intended to look more like a typical masc lesbian because I am soo indulgent towards making the singles household just like a crazy lesbian situationship household (minus the curious sisters with eachother - of course).

[disneyprincemuke]

ღ this barbie’s teammate is a schumacher

notes: hello gays it is i, finally writing for barbie

she closes the car door and sighs with a small smile, looking at the building ahead of her. this will be her life until she decides otherwise. she shoves her car keys into her purse and watches curiously as another supercar pulls into the empty lot next to her.

is that who she thinks it is?

she takes a step towards her car, watching the car be parked into the slot flawlessly. she tilts her head when it comes to a stop, the driver's side opening to reveal its driver.

"oh!" she shrieks, running around the front of her car to approach the young man. "mick schumacher, right? i am such a big fan! i'm so excited to finally be working with you!"

the german takes a step back, overwhelmed by the sudden presence of the girl in pink approaching him. she has a pair of sunglasses resting on the top of her head, a fur coat on and a purse hanging off her elbow.

"oh, hi," mick smiles politely. he's not a mean person; he's just a little more introverted than the next guy. "i'm glad to be with honda this year. i'm looking forward to spending the year with you."

he was in deep thought before she came up to him. he wondered, as the way he's been doing for years, if the rumours that he'd been scouted for the second seat at the request of his boss's daughter. but who is he to complain; he's racing in f1 again. does it matter how he got back into it?

surely not.

but this girl that stands in front of him – could she be an intern? she looks fairly young, very enthusiastic, and a glimmer of hope in her eyes that he doesn't see from individuals his age often. perhaps a marketing intern.

"alright, well, i'll see you inside! i love the sweater, by the way!" she shrieks, waving at him with a wide smile. she waves at him as she walks away, cautiously crossing the parking lot as the rest of the cars for the day start to roll in. "and the car! you have to give me a tour someday!"

he waves back at her in confusion, only able to mutter a 'goodbye' to himself as she disappears into the big front doors of the building. he locks his car and follows her in the direction she left, ready to start his new year with a new team.

he spends the next 10 minutes navigating the new factory he'll be frequenting from now on. introducing himself to people, familiarising himself with the engineers he'll be working closely with, and other members of the team. it's a surprisingly bigger team than he had initially thought, so it takes him longer than he expected.

about 20 minutes introducing himself and trying to pin names with the new faces. then he ends up in a quiet office, shaking his leg in anticipation as he awaits his first face-to-face meeting with his new teammate and his boss.

he hears clicks of heels right by the door, prompting him to sit up a little straighter as he glances behind him quickly. he straightens his sweater, pulls his sleeves down and wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans. he can't screw himself over.

"i'm telling you, daddy, he's got the coolest car! i saw him in the parking lot earlier!" the door opens, revealing two figures with two familiar faces. which, shouldn't be the case, because this is the first time he's meeting his teammate.

"do you want one, honey?"

"no, that's so silly! i love my car!" she giggles, before abruptly stopping at the sight of his wide blue eyes staring at her in disbelief. "my car is perfectly fine! right, mick?"

mick blinks, swallowing the forming lump of guilt in his throat. he had no idea that the girl in the parking lot was going to be his teammate eventually.

oh god, and for him to assume that she's a marketing or pr intern? how humiliating. how would he feel if someone were to think that of his sister was a mere backend worker when she is something more?

"yes," he answers by default, not really remembering what she was asking him. he immediately pushes himself up to his feet and extends a hand to her first. "i'm sorry. i don't believe i got your name in the parking lot – i didn't know you were going to be my teammate. i'm so sorry."

"oh, don't worry about it. it happens a lot." she introduces herself before quickly walking away, running over to the empty seat next to him.

mick huffs, grinning at her father before he takes a seat. but the entire time, all he can think of is how embarrassed he is for misjudging her. "you don't care that i didn't take you for a driver at first?"

she looks off blankly, pressing her lips together before shaking her head. she turns to him again. "it's not like i told you," she grins. "anyway, do you like japanese curry? that's my favourite – i'll make you some when we meet again for pre-season."

taglist: @cashtons-wife @darleneslane @namgification @happy-nico @nikfigueiredo @localwhoore @angsthology @renarots @elliegrey2803 @cha-hot @cosmoscoffeee @fanficweasley @sugarhoneylemons @aquangxl @omgsuperstarg @strawberryubin @lovecarsgoingvroom @mangotaitai @cherry-piee @ladyladybuggg @lethalvenus @gentlyweeps-world @spilled-coffee-cup @charizznorizz @wcnorris @storminacloud @minkyungseokie @viennakarma @leilanixx @daniellef89x @fezlvr @lavisenri @xcharlottemikaelsonx @ultraviolencesam @selsbackyard @ilove-tswizzle @riddle-me-im-sirius @kindestofkings

[winterzsurprise]

Change My Mind [2]

Pairing: BTS x reader

SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants.

Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but then one day, you find out they're all your soulmates, a whole different can of chaos you don't think you can handle.

Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory, Attempts at Humor

Words: 8.6k

I posted this a day later than the one on ao3 because I forgor :''DD

Seeing the support and comments from both website got me off my ass to fix the storyline, even made a lot of changes on the chapters I've had preserved.

this chapter got rewritten a LOT, and was longer than it initially was so I hope y'all don't mind long chapters.

<<<Prev || MASTERLIST || Next>>>

__________

There's been times where your heart has truly fluttered for a man throughout your lifetime. Too many times has it been because some of your bosses (read: Jimin) flirted with you but you have never felt anything remotely giddy for anyone else outside the group.

Except for the man now sitting in front of you, flashing you a dimpled smile after handing out his card with an ease you only see in your friends and male leads in dramas. An action more attractive than any kabaedon or flexed muscles.

He's attractive but you don't like like him.

Yoo Guwon came to you as a bashful giant, rubbing the back of his head whenever he’s flustered and a constant sheepish smile featuring his deep set of dimples indented on both cheeks. He’s charming and articulate with his words just like a lawyer would be. Everything about him reminds you of another gentle and clumsy giant probably hunched over his music equipment back in the BigHit building.

It’s only been a few hours but you surprisingly covered most of the basic grounds of first meeting conversations during the short time you drove around Han River in a two seated bicycle. From the meager questions of ‘what dreams do you have?’ to the more complex and deeper ‘If the world falls into ruin, will you burn my body when I die?’. 

Too graphic for a first date but you wanted to test the waters and you concluded that he’s too perfect.

He knows the right words to say, the proper way to act and it makes you suspicious. Your mother has never recommended you to a good guy before, having a track record of ten shitty suitors who all ran their mouths about their mediocre achievements, and dared to ask you about your purity before ranting about how dirty you are for not saving yourself for your husband the moment they find out you're not a virgin anymore. Then all of a sudden, she led you to good boy Guwon.

And it makes your skin crawl.

What did that woman eat? Has your father fed her something bad this time? What is she planning? It’s scary how she has finally advocated for an actual nice guy.

After taking you to a museum you're sure Namjoon has visited once, he drove you both to the Han River to rent a double seated bike to drive around with before ending the night with a nice reservation somewhere in the Seocho district.

The place is as sophisticated as fine dining areas usually are. With an intimate lighting, marbled tabletops matched with soft cushioned seats and high ceilings to make space for modern glass chandeliers, the restaurant was no doubt expensive, the type you have to reserve a spot two months prior to be able to experience its greatness. The point was driven home when you saw the amount of zeros it cost for one can of soda. 

You asked him how he managed to get a table and he went down the rabbit hole of the many advantages he got from successful cases, ranging from a free monthly subscription to fruit baskets to a free week-long voucher to a five star hotel somewhere in Busan. 

Going back to the butterflies, while not as wild as it got when Hoseok possessively wrapped an arm thrown around your waist to pretend as your boyfriend to ward off a persistent suitor, they're there, albeit subtle.

Very subtle.

Maybe it's in the way he didn't think twice to hand out his card towards the waiter in the most suave way with the thick golden watch decorating his wrist, sleeves neatly folded up to reveal the thick cords of veins on his forearms with his hair strewn messily and a dimpled smile that made you react like that.

You ignore the voice comparing his uncannily similar traits to someone else.

Meeting Guwon wasn't like how the movies illustrated love at first sights. They talked of fireworks exploding in the background and hearing the sweet chimes of wedding bells upon eye contact but for him, it's just that. A meeting far more formal than you'd like. He has a lot of qualities that check your list of husband material traits yet instead of butterflies, you could only feel an echoing hollowness in your chest as you listen to him list out his future plans. 

It felt like surrendering to the fate the divinities had weaved out for you which is being an untethered forced to love someone you don't even feel any spark with.

He's a nice man who’s offering a comfortable future and you're just a woman who wishes to live a lavish life at home while your husband wastes his years away in the office. You might be a hopeless romantic who wished for soulmates and the like but you're not blind to the opportunity Guwon offers you.

You haven't texted the gc anything during the date other than the selfie you took before you left for the date but there's been constant vibrations in your purse and it's no doubt the guys asking for updates but for a moment you wanted to try to focus on the man before you.

Not that it wasn't hard to try with Guwon anyways.

Whenever the man spoke of his achievements and hobbies with a humble approach, he never forgot to ask you for your opinion or input on the topic. You also noted how he has never cut you off and let you speak whenever you wanted, listening with an eagerness only your friends usually show. He asked relevant questions with a genuine curiosity, eager to know more about you. 

So when he asked if you wanted to go on a second date that night, it came to no surprise for anyone when you accepted it albeit the heaviness in your heart.

It was funny how eagerly you searched for a husband you could bring to your parents' doorsteps but the moment someone with all the qualities you seeked came, it felt disappointing. Boring even.

But you can learn, this man is your ticket to living without working anymore.

It came to no one's surprise that your mother was overjoyed, she wasted no time calling you before you could even change to squeeze the memory of today out of you.

The shrill scream of victory she let out that night was unforgettable because finally, a suitor you actually liked. Your dad even congratulated her off-screen for her matchmaking achievements before telling you to bring Guwon home to meet them.

Logically, you’re aware you've won the love roulette—Guwon has it all, he checked every box on your list, yet it felt like defeat and it tasted foul, bitter on your tongue.

You couldn't tell them that it was you deciding to settle, that would break her heart.

Tapping the end call button felt like the dam breaking and all the water held onto for so long flowed out. You fall lifelessly on your bed with a heavy sigh. Taking a couple evening breaths, you finally opened the group chat with an overwhelming number of unread messages.

[Today, 08:49]

[08:49] Mimi: I'd run my bank dry to take you on dates if you'd dress so pretty like that, noona~

[08:49]Tete: We're really seeing this for free when the poor guy has to pay for it. #livingapriviledgedlife😁👍

[08:49] Hobi: Wow noona🤯

[08:50] Yoongs: 👍

[08:55] Tete: Wait, I don't think those shoes fit you, go back home and change it😁

[08:56] Jinnie: Hey, you're showing too much skin on the first date! Go back and change!

[08:57] Joonie: Ignore these haters noona, I hope you enjoy your day😊

[Today, 21:48]

[21:48] Jinnie: are you home yet? You haven't seen our messages in HOURS.

[21:48] Tete: NOONA DID YOU GET MURDERED?!😱

[21:50] Joonie: Let's be rational guys, don't jump to conclusions. The date might just be going great if she's busy enough to not check her phone😊.

[21:51] Mimi: doing great? don't scare me like that hyung😵‍💫

[21:51] Tete: BUT WHAT IF SHE GOT KIDNAPPED HYUNG????

[21:51] Hobi: please reply soon, we're worried🥲

Jungkook's absence from the conversation didn't come to you as a shock, the kid doesn't even reply to you for a week despite being one of the people who raised him. Nonetheless, you sat up from your bed to record a quick video of you giving them a thumbs up and turning the camera to show your room.

The latter was an assurance to Taehyung that no, you also didn't get kidnapped into someone else's house to be someone's housekeeper, and no, it wasn't a clone either.

The moment your message gets sent, the replies blow up your phone almost instantaneously.

[22:28] Mimi: noona you're alive!

[22:28] Joonie: How did the date go?😊

[22:28] Jinnie: how nice of you to remember to update us PEASANTS.

[22:28] Mimi: How was Guwon?

[22:29] Tete: I KNEW WE SHOULD'VE WENT WITH YOU ANYWAYS

[22:29] You: Shockingly, he's a pretty nice guy. Not too bad on the eyes, and pretty smart. I think you'd get along well with him, joon. He's a lawyer so he covered most of the expenses today😁

[22:29] You: Overall, it was great, we're gonna go on a second one. He's pretty cool.

Instantly, messages from the members, even Jungkook’s to your surprise, flooded your screen.

[22:30] Tete: Noona you've been cursed! We need to bring you to the nearest shaman to break it!!

[22:30] Mimi: don't joke with us noona

[22:30] Mimi: I just got goosebumps!

[22:30] Joonie: Congratulations are in order then? Will we be expecting him around you soon?

[22:31] Yoongs: I need to meet him, need to know if he's good enough

[22:31] Yoongs: men are trash, I need to see him for myself before I decide

[22:32] Yoongs: and you know what they say about lawyers, they LIE. I wouldn't trust him 

[22:32] Jinnie: WE need to meet the man who managed to steal your heart! I want to talk to him😊

[22:32] Mimi: don't use that emoji again, hyung

[22:32] Hobi: SCARY JWANN😱

[22:32] Joonie: Let’s not threaten anyone please.

[22:32] Joonie: But I'm really happy for you 😁.

[22:33] Tete: Those periods really scares me hyung…

[22:33] Tete: Somehow, I don't think you mean it…

[22:33] Joonie: What makes you think that, tae?😁.

[22:33] Tete: 😰

[22:34] Ggukie: a few drinks will fix you up, noona😁

[22:34]  Mimi: you'll invite me this time right?

[22:34] You: I don't know, you already used your mischief hours this week, I doubt Sejin would be so kind next time.

[22:34] Hobi: if he does that right now during practice, I also wouldn't be so kind to him😊

[22:34] Mimi: you are scaring me hyung…

[22:34] Hobi: good😊

[22:34] Tete: Hyung, are you just gonna ignore Jungkook leaving?!?!!?

The messages continued for a good five minutes, mostly consisting of holding Jimin back from leaving practice and him sending pictures of the infamous Hoseok death glare from across the room before your doorbell chime rang, making you shoot up straight.

A beat. Then it continues in three quick successions, the knocks almost in sing-song and sounded like two hands were used to produce the tune, giving you an inkling on who might be visiting you at this late hours of night.

Padding out of your room, the front door suddenly swings open without warning and you yelp. By the doorsteps stands the intruder, a tall man in a black coat with his face hidden by a mask and a cap. Your body would've frozen a thousand times over if you didn't know this stranger who's hugging two paper bags, one overflowing with snacks and the other a breeze away from tearing apart from the weight and water drenching the material of the bag.

"Hi noona!"

After today, seeing Jungkook felt like a cure, his presence alone repelling the heaviness in your shoulders and you ushered him inside and he wandered into your home with ease, approaching the coffee table to place down the shopping bags. 

Suddenly you remembered what he had scheduled prior.

"You're putting me on Hoba’s punishment rotation, what are you doing here?" 

He giggled. “We both know he won't, hyung loves you more than me.”

He falls on your couch with the ease of someone who has visited your space numerous times throughout the years, propping up his feet on the back support and folding his arms underneath his head before staring up at you, expectantly.

"Anyways, I brought us food and drinks, don't I deserve a little praise?" 

Sometimes it's easy to forget how young Jungkook really is, forced to grow and act mature to blend in with his surroundings, you've always seen him stand with pride alongside his hyungs. Seeing him awaiting for your praise so eagerly like a pup fills your heart with awe.

"Yeah yeah, good job. Now move over, let me sit down."

You tapped his arm, motioning him to move over so you could sit next to him, something he obeyed without resistance, busying himself in removing the contents from the soiled paper bag instead.

“Couldn't you have put some effort into it? At least sound grateful.” He pouts. Placing down the cluster of beer cans, you turned to him and pinched his cheeks.

“Oh my dearest darling, thank you for saving this noona of yours. Such an amazing baby I have here.”

Despite being the one who asked for it, Jungkook only rolled his eyes with a barely held back grin as he slapped your hands away, making you laugh, and turned to the bag holding the snacks he bought. You didn't miss the redness dusting his cheeks or the cheeky grin that tugged his lips wide as he spilled the contents of the last bag onto the table.

There's a significant amount of sweets and snacks laid before you, as well as stacks of canned beers and you turned to him with furrowed brows.

"Wouldn't this ruin your diet?"

He waved you off with a huff. "I work out enough to eat all of these in one sitting."

Instantly, your mind brings you back to white walls and gray furniture, faced with manager Sejin who warned you about interfering with the idols' diet at the start of your career. If it wasn't for Bang PD waving off their concerns, saying they needed to be rewarded for their hard work anyways, you would've been long booted out of the company.

It's a matter long settled yet it remains to weigh heavily in your head.

Seeing the hesitation in your eyes, Jungkook continues.

"I can show you proof of my efforts," 

He then reached down to the fabric of his shirt tucked into his jeans and tugged it up, flashing you the tightly corded muscles in forming on his abdomen and the thin happy trail you often see when patting his sweat down during concerts and you hastily pulled it back down with a yelp, cheeks growing hot while he laughed.

As he throws his head back in his mirth, you couldn't help but notice the way adulthood has taken away the fullness of his cheeks and has sharpened his features. A far cry from the sensitive young boy who cried his eyes out every time his hyungs got hurt. 

There was no denying that Jungkook had grown without you noticing and it makes your chest swell with pride knowing he's been raised well by the others, in extension, although not so much, you as well.

"Don't worry so much about me, noona. I can handle the consequences now, you leave the reprimanding to me."

Under the warm overhead light of your living room, even with the exaggerated puff of his chest and his nose turnt up high, Jungkook's shoulder had never looked sturdier, reliable, in your eyes. You smiled, reaching to pinch both his cheeks making him grin wider than he already was.

"Look at you acting so cool, when did you grow so much?"

He rolled his eyes, pulling your hands away from his cheeks and entangling it with his. “I've always been cool, you just don't pay attention to me, noona.”

Before you could reply, he's already moved to reach for the beverages on the coffee table, popping two of them open and handing you one can, immediately you take a swig.

The beer fizzled in your tongue and left a trail of burns down your throat. The sensation is refreshing nonetheless and you place it down next to him before picking up the large bags of chips and standing up.

"I'll go put these in a bowl, go put something on the tv."

"Can I play anime?"

You waved at him dismissively, unable to find it in yourself to say no to him as you head towards your kitchen to transfer the junk into a bowl when a shrill tune from your bedroom cuts through the air, someone was calling you. You look over to Jungkook, scrolling through his phone, no doubt looking for a movie online.

"Gguk, can you pick up the call for me? My hands are busy right now."

There's a shuffle of feet behind you and in a moment, your phone quietens down. Finished with filling one bowl, you turn to find Jungkook leaving your room with a deep look and your phone in hand. His jaw set tight as he stood there with furrowed brows, eyes lit with irritation.

Looking at his reaction, you asked about your mysterious caller.

"Who was it?"

When he turned to you, the tick in his jaw dispersed. All of a sudden, he's smiling at you with mischief twinkling in his eyes, the change giving you a whiplash.

"It was the others, didn’t answer their calls cause I want you for myself tonight, noona."

(Later on, you'd find yourself staring at the many unread messages and two missed calls from Guwon, wondering in your drunken state if you've muted your phone at some point earlier.)

Hearing it from his lips now, your body locks, heart stuttering in your chest and butterflies exploding in your stomach, spreading a tingly feeling throughout your body and you laugh. 

"Where did you hear that line from, brat? You just activated my fight or flight!"

"Taehyung says that and gets thanked but when I do it, I'm punished?" He pouts, stomping as he approaches the island counters and crossing his arms on the marble surface.

It reminded you of a bunny you saw from a video on the internet, angrily thumping their feet at their owner when it was being purposely ignored.

“In his defense, he does it while he’s acting like my crazy ‘exes’ and saves me from dates.”

“That’s just favoritism! I saved you once from a date!”

You threw him a deadpan stare. "Throwing me over your shoulders and kidnapping me isn’t the same as Tae and Jimin acting crazy enough to make the other guy uncomfortable to save me.”

Hoseok had your favorite troublemakers kneeled on the floor with both their hands up and facing the wall at the time, punishing them for being an hour late to their practice. He had called you in, asking if they had been accompanying you during —they weren’t. 

Long story short, you didn't risk sharing Hoseok’s wrath with the two and took Jungkook instead, a decision you quickly regretted later on in the night when instead of approaching to act like one of your exes when you gave him a signal, he hoisted you up onto his shoulder and ran away while your date only watched in terror.

“Now that’s blatant favoritism! I didn’t kidnap you, we ran away together into the sunset! It was romantic!"

"Not for the other guy, no! He was shitting bricks when he called my mom. She got me squatting the entire afternoon when we met again."

Mentioning it alone made phantom pains throb in your knees and thighs, you shivered. If torture wasn't a socially unacceptable and punishable offense in the modern world, you were sure your mother would have stripped you down to your underwear and made you squat under the sun in front of your family house instead. 

The absolute fury she unleashed on you that day is enough proof that she would've done it with no hesitation if it was lawfully appropriate.

"That's too much for a failed date."

"No reason to dwell on it. Main point is, don't take notes from dramas anymore."

With a last roll of his eye, Jungkook then picked up the bowls and brought them to the coffee table following you who had returned to your seat ahead of him. Once the two of you are situated back on the couch, he navigates through the streaming app for an interesting title before eventually settling on the romance anime he claimed to have heard amazing reviews about.

Without hesitation, Jungkook navigates himself into a familiar between your legs and leaned back on your chest, head finding his rightful space under your chin with a precision gained from doing so for years.

It goes without saying that Bangtan is affectionate. With the pressure they had during their rise to fame, it wasn't shocking that they comfortably seeked each other's comfort and spared no skinship. As one of the only staff within constant exposure that's close to their age, you too became one of their pillars of serenity. 

It was the reason you had crushes on everyone at least twice during your time as their make-up artist, not that any of the boys knew nor does it matter.

Stability and work takes precedence over something as shaky as love.

There's only so much comfort another man can offer, your mother says from years before.

Jungkook more than anyone else in the group. 

As a boy who sacrificed his childhood and time with his parents to pursue his dream, you felt more inclined to watch over him than the others who were adults by the time you joined. You were there for his first heartbreak, his first drink, his high school graduation; the point is, you were there and you held him every time he struggled with problems—mostly girl problems—he's too shy to seek his hyungs for.

But now with his growth spurt, cuddling up to you like he used to when he was younger with his gangly legs awkwardly hanging from the couch, carelessly leaning his head in between the mounds of your breast while his large hand mindlessly drew circles on your knee, you found yourself wondering about the appropriateness of it all.

A man and a woman alone in a room at night in close proximity, body leaning against each other. Society would argue they wouldn’t end the night as friends anymore after the encounter.

You paused mid-drink and grimaced.

It must be the beer talking.

"Noona."

"Yeah?"

"Wrap your arms around me, it's cold."

You raised an eyebrow at him. "It's not though? I always keep my house warm." 

He let out an exasperated groan before reaching behind to grab your arm and roughly slinging it on his shoulders.

As time continued its cycle and episodes started to fly across the screen, the pile of opened beer cans on the table expanded. You really tried to focus on the movie but the feeling of his fingers tracing stars on your bare thigh left you oddly bothered. Jungkook has shifted his position higher at some point during the movie, his body now turned sideways, successfully squeezing himself into the small space between you and the back of the couch, legs entangling itself with yours while an arm is thrown across your body.

This position puts his nose closer to your ears and it makes you shiver. The feel of his hot breath fanning across your skin has given you more goosebumps in under an hour more than you've had throughout your life.

Even drunk, you could feel the building tension thickening around you and the will to tell him to off ebbs away with every caress of his fingers.

Gone were the innocent traces of stars and hearts on your thigh, his hand now grabbed onto your waist almost possessively, thumb rolling slow circles on your bare stomach; the motion conjuring the most unholiest of thoughts known to mankind.

When the credits started rolling, you knew you had to draw the line before you lost yourself to intoxicated thoughts and end the night with regrets.

"Time for you to go home now, your hyungs must be looking for you."

You tried prying his hand from your waist so you could reach for your phone on the table only for him to tighten around you, stopping you from moving away. He groaned, head nuzzling closer into your neck and his lips grazed your skin. 

Instantly, electric jolts shoot through your body.

"Jungkook, I need to get my phone and tell someone to fetch you from here."

"Can't I just stay the night? I'm too comfortable right now…"

The gruff in his voice and the sensation of his lips moving on your skin has your stomach fluttering and you're too drunk to address the growing heat in your abdomen but thanked the sense of professionalism seeping through the fogs of your intoxicated mind.

Managing to pry him off, you reached for your phone and opened up SMS to tell Jin to pick their youngest up.

           [01:21] You: Jwannn

           [01:21] You: can you pick up your kid from my house? He's drunk and stinkyyy

           [01:23] Jinnie: your knight in shining armor is on the way!

“Just let me stay the nighttt,” he whined into your skin.

"I don't have any more spare beds other than this couch for you to sleep in, Gguk. I turned the other room into a closet, remember?"

"I can just sleep with you on the bed, we used to do that, didn't we?"

He attempted to reach around you again but you pushed his limbs away once more before slapping his arm.

You tried not noticing how thicker and harder the muscles felt, you really did. 

"But it's different now, Gguk. Come on, go wash up and drink water, I've already told someo—"

The moment you rose to stand, his arms shot around your waist in record speed and pulled you flush to his front, nuzzling his nose on the back of your neck before he sighed. When the first hot exhale hits your skin, you flinch away but the limbs wounded tightly around your middle restrict you from moving.

You try to ignore the heat simmering under your skin but it was hard when you felt the press of his plush lips on your nape as he leans closer into your skin. 

“You always smell so nice, noona.” He whispered breathily, the sensation of his moving mouth sending shivers down your spine and you shivered.

“I-I can give you my lotion brand later, let me go so I can get it.”

“But I'm comfortable here…”

Mustering every strength left in your body, you manage to pull an arm out of the death grip he had on your body and slapped his hand. Jungkook easily ignores it.

“Come on Gguk, let me out now. This isn't appropriate.”

"How is it different now?"

The alcohol intoxicating your system loosened your grip on your inhibitions and your lips regrettably moved faster than your brain.

"You're a man now, Gguk. Honestly, we shouldn't be even doing this right now. It's inappropriate."

You try to stand once more, managing to pry him from your waist and standing up before his arms hooked around you once more and tugging you back down, this time on his lap as he burrows his head onto your back.

"Gguk?"

"Yo-you see me as a man, noona?"

As a child your mother has taught you how words could heavily influence and drastically change a situation, now as an adult, you've mastered the art of speech. But as you sit still on his thighs, body warm and inhibitions blurred by the alcohol, your loose lips have led you back to the very thing you try to avoid.

"It's hard not to think so when you've grown up this much."

In a flash, Jungkook is now hovering over your face as he places you back down on the couch, his nose a hair's width from touching yours and his hands planted on each side of your head. 

There's a feral hunger swimming in his eyes as it stared into yours, desperate and intense before it fell to the plush of your parted lips and his gaze darkens. All of a sudden, you're a prey pinned down by an apex predator who's ready to devour you at any given moment.

Fire alarms blared in your mind and you regained control over your senses.

“Jungkook.”

"Noona."

You tried wriggling out of his grasp but it was no use, he's stronger. "Get off of me, kid."

“How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not a kid anymore?”

“I'm not hearing anything out when you're acting like this, Gguk.”

He scoffed. “I just want to sleep here, in the same bed, nothing else is gonna happen. Why is it such a bad thing?”

“It's different now, Gguk. Come on, let me go.”

“How is it so different? You and Jimin hyung cuddle sometimes, I've seen you fall asleep next to Hobi hyung once, why is it different with me?”

“It's different because we're both drunk and things could happen.”

“I wouldn't mind it.” Jungkook responds with a cheeky smile. His grip on one of your wrist loosened enough that you were able to hit his arm and he giggled in response.

“But I do. It wouldn't be fair.”

Even something as small as letting one member stay at your home without the others can be the loudest announcement for the rest of the group. All those times you've rejected your friends, with reasons like ‘I don’t want to risk everything’, and ‘I don't want to hurt the others’, to turn back around to accept their youngest would be hypocritical of you.

He scoffs. "You tell us about all your stupid dates, don't you think it's more unfair for us?”

A familiar weight grows in your chest. Guilt tasted like rust on your tongue and dug into your heart with a ribbed knife. Your own late night thoughts manifesting before you and you pushed him away.

After everything, you were all friends, you trusted them more than you do with your other circle. There's not a secret left undiscussed between the eight of you so it was no surprise that you had indulged them with the details of your quest for a husband. Nobody ever raised any complaints with you sharing your days so you never thought twice about it.

It's been five years since Jin had confessed, three for Taehyung. Their eldest had confessed for the sake of him finally being able to move on after your rejection and with how he acted after, you had believed him. It was different for Taehyung who had continued to act like normal after his confession, neither dejected nor did he show signs of letting go but he did introduce a date to your group once, a year later, so you had assumed the same.

Were you wrong after all?

“Jungkook, we're drunk. Let’s talk about this tom—”

“I've never been more sober in my life than I am right now, noona.”

You didn't respond, couldn't reply.

What were you supposed to even say?

Jungkook usually obeyed you and his hyungs without hesitation, happily offering his aid whenever he could. He's the type of friend who's run himself dry just to fetch you a cup of water from the other side of the world but now as he hovers over you, he became a whole new person.

Greed has always been an irritating parasite that eats away at a person's morals but somehow in your drunken mind, you thought it looked so good on him. It fits him and his generous character the way one light clothing molds well with the dark fabrics. His familiar scent of vanilla and coconut clouded your senses, calming your panicking mind into a hush, leaving nothing but the thoughts of how his lips tasted and wondering if he’s as sweet as he smelled.

He let out a shaky exhale from through his mouth as he watched your parted lips with a rapt attention as if hypnotized by the way they subtly trembled with every breath that passed through.

In the pregnant silence of your room, his voice cuts through like a knife.

“Can I kiss you?”

He whispers against your lips, voice breaking in the middle from the weight of his request, honeyed and pleading, as if your kiss holds the answer to the problems of the world and holds the power to break him.

His hand travels up to cup your cheek oh so carefully like you're fragile china yet you feel yourself shatter under his touch.

You are losing grasp on your sober thoughts as lust starts to cloud your already compromised judgment, his request far too tempting to ignore.

Maybe a kiss wouldn’t hurt. 

But wouldn’t it be unfair for the others who have expressed their romantic intentions to you since years ago? 

It was a last ditch effort to reason with your mind and your body froze from the cold wave of realization. In the short time after his question, you recall the confessions you turned down to not ruin the relationship Bangtan has established for themselves and the bitter taste it left on your tongue.

“Jungkook… we can’t.”

Watching his expression contort into confused hurt almost made you want to take your words back, but your mind takes you to memories of apologetic and understanding smiles you’ve received throughout the years and the aches from those moments resurfaces, squeezing your heart in a tight grip.

“I-I’m sorry I can’t control my feelings, I just wanted to tell you about it… Thought that maybe after this, I could move on.” An apologetic voice whispers, the memory of premature confessions in the middle of a cleanup resurfacing.

“I can’t—I can’t do it to them, it’d be unfair.”

You pushed him back and he relented, letting himself be sat back onto the other side of the couch defeatedly. Despite it, his tight grip on your waist remained, pulling you flush to him and burying his face in your chest as if trying to hear the lie in your words through the beatings of your heart.

“I’m also seeing Guwon now.”

“Then don’t let me meet him. I-I don’t know if I can take it.”

It was heart wrenching and at the same time, left an uncomfortable twist in your stomach. Jungkook never had to beg since you first met him, everything he could ever want was given to him by you and his hyungs without hesitation. Hearing him plead for you to never bring Guwon around if fate had actually paired you both, it was a different kind of pain.

It felt like thorns growing and rooting its stems of pointy ends into the deepest parts of your heart. You hated this, but you don’t want to hurt any of your boys by accepting one.

Relief comes in the form of Taehyung when he busted into your apartment while Jungkook has excused himself to your bathroom to sober up just a moment before. Seokjin trails behind him, calmer than the younger man who declared his arrival with a deep voice and a loud bang of the door. You immediately thought of the elderly couple and the new family of three living next to you and internally facepalmed.

“Noona! We’ve come to take Jungkook away!”

Kim Seokjin’s face has never been more handsome when he closed the door behind him, and you verbalized your thought, leading his ears to glow red in embarrassment.

“Am I only handsome to you when I’m closing the doors?! This face that people fawn over all over the world?!”

“It’s your true calling, door guy.”

“Oh shut it hyung, you’re making my head hurt.” Jungkook mutters as he reentered the living room, looking far better than when he left.

The tension was palpable, the effect of a rejected profession still raw and thick in the small joined space of the living room and kitchen and you caught Jin's eyes as the two youngest bickered, there’s a knowing look passed between you, an unsaid ‘let’s talk later’ hanging in the air.

“Hey, just because you got to escape Hoba’s practice without scratch doesn't mean you're hot shit, show me some respect!”

Seokjin scolds, accompanied by a playful kick to their youngest’s butt. Immediately the stuffy air dissipates and Jungkook responds in kind; by kicking him in the shin, hard enough to launch Seokjin into another lengthy nag.

It was a quick retrieval after his rant. Jungkook lets himself be towed out of your apartment by an oddly enthusiastic Taehyung who's going on about a new game trailer he saw online while Jin has offered to be left behind to clean up the mess. It was no doubt obvious, the familiar awkwardness and tenseness brought by a rejected confession lingered in the air when they arrived, it only took him one look at you and he already knew. 

The moment the door slams shut behind the boys, he immediately began:

“Did he admit it?”

His voice was soft yet it rang loudly in the pindrop silence of your living room. The sigh he let out echoed more when you nodded.

“I told him to not do it, you know? But you know how stubborn he gets.”

You didn’t reply. You simply move, walking to the trash bin to put the empty beer cans in and Jin follows close with the bowls stacked on top of each other to place in the sink. It was a brief moment of reprieve. He let the moment from earlier simmer in your stomach, let the smoke from it fill your lungs and weigh your heart till you burst.

Out of the seven boys, you've always turned to either him or Yoongi as they're older than you, so it came to nobody's shock when you break and told him.

“It just never gets better, I always feel guilty even if I didn’t choose. I’m just lucky I didn’t have to suffer through seven of these, I don’t think I could take it and just quit.”

It was a thought you’ve entertained when Taehyung came to you with his heart in his hand, giving it to you carelessly despite knowing how you’ve handled the other confessions. He was all dopey smiles and flushed cheeks, it continued even when you’ve pushed his heart back to him with an apologetic look.

Seeing the happy creases in his eyes iron out despite the huge boxy smile continuing to play on his lips, the existing pressuring guilt reawakened. Taehyung’s heart that gleamed and glowed gold, vulnerable for you to take and use from where it settled in the middle of his offering palms. You could’ve taken advantage of it all as they were rising in fame, when they were facing discrimination from the other companies and had found comfort in you but you didn’t.

Even with the attraction you've felt for them, you were nothing but a makeup artist to the company. Another asset to deploy and replace if it got annoying to handle. You couldn't risk your career on uncertainties, this is your dream job.

You loved them all equally and held them in the same regards as the others, they’re your best friends, chosen soul companions even without the marks to solidify it. 

They loved you and you loved them all but you wouldn't bet your life on an uncertain future.

“You should give us more credit, you know?” 

He says from the kitchen sink, the sound of water slowing into a halt. Seokjin didn’t move for a while. When he did, it was to place down the plates, washing his hands before turning around to face you.

“We’re grown adults now, we can handle rejection so don’t feel too bad about it. You can choose and we’d even help you keep it a secret from everyone besides us eight.”

It was genuine. Even in the haze of your intoxication, those words felt like a cool balm for your aching heart. While Namjoon’s words were cited research, formal and factual and Yoongi’s were calming droughts to ease the discomfort of sadness brought by gloomy thoughts, Seokjin speaks from the heart, true and unbiased but says it with a gentleness and care. 

Guilt sets like a boulder on your heart. Being able to feel, to experience such a privilege when all you've done is break his heart since your hunt for a husband, the weight in your chest multiplied and tears sprung from your eyes.

You wanted them but you couldn't risk your dream job, couldn't risk a friendship as precious as theirs for kisses and hugs that eventually has its ends.

You didn’t even notice it when he crossed the distance between you both and pulled you plush to his chest but you recognized the familiar sensation of plush lips pressing against your forehead.

If it lingered a few seconds past what's platonically allowed, you didn’t mention it.

Seokjin’s muted scent of freshly baked cakes brought silence to the rampaging waves of thoughts in your mind and if you pressed your nose flush to his chest to bury yourself in his fragrance, he didn’t say anything, bringing one hand behind your head protectively.

“I'm sorry to put you through this pain, Jinnie. I-I didn’t know.”

“I knew you didn’t know but I'll be fine... eventually.” He breathes out before leaning down to bury himself into the nest of your hair. "As long as you're happy, then I am too."

It was heavy, being loved and held so preciously even after you’ve turned him down, it felt cruel, sadistic even. But like the selfish woman you are, you accepted it. Soaked in his affections greedily.

“You know, he asked me to never show Guwon around you guys.”

He sighed. “I knew he would.”

“Do you want that as well?

Silence followed but you heard his answer loud and clear.

The second date happened after the first leg of the tour in Seoul.

Although planned suddenly, you appreciated the downtime after being lost in the haze of rushed outfit changes, reapplying makeup, and patting sweat from foreheads. If anything, you were thankful you could loosen up after earlier. The awkward tension didn’t go amiss, it only took Namjoon and Yoongi one look between you and Jungkook before taking charge on how the night progresses.

Yoongi didn't waste any time waving you over to ask for help for his makeup, even when he was already being prepped by one of your older colleagues, Ji hae. Thankfully, the woman lets you take over, saying she wanted a snack anyways.

The man didn't bother asking you what happened and settled comfortably in his chair but not before offering you the snack he bought earlier and was laying neglected on his lap. Yoongi asked about Guwon in a hushed voice, because while you were living in a reverse harem with most of his brothers, he was genuinely curious about your boyfriend-to-be.

Maybe it was the fact he has never admitted his affections for you that made it comfortable to discuss topics you could never talk about with the others with him, but you let your tongue a little loose.

And he listened.

Yoongi has always been a man of action not words, his love language has always been opening water bottles, blankets appearing from nowhere when you're passed out on their couch, and listening attentively. Despite what the world says about his nonchalance and silence, in your eyes, he's the sweetest guy on the roster—not that you'd tell Jimin that of course, he'd riot if he were to find out.

By the end of the concert, Guwon asks you on an impromptu date. A simple late night walk on a market nearby because there's apparently a food fair, and as usual, the expenses are on him. Hungry with a principle of never turning down free food, of course you accepted. 

Though you had a long time deciding whether to go or not with Jungkook’s confession still fresh.

Minutes later, he's waiting for you by the exit. The scene of him leaning on his Mercedes, waiting for you to reach him at the bottom of the stairs looks like it was pulled out of a kdrama.

Oddly enough, they didn’t question your lack of updates in the group chat but Jimin reached out later on and you suspect he told everyone your whereabouts instead, hopefully minus the date part to spare the others (read: Jungkook) from heartbreak.

The fair looked like a mirage of a paradise in the night hidden away in a small gently-lit up alley. The path was lightened up with gentle lanterns hung above you, the warm colors setting a more intimate scene. It wasn’t as luxurious as dinner from yesterday or as calming as the bike ride around the Han river but you appreciated it nonetheless.

You’re ready to drop dead but you pushed through, you wanted this relationship to work. Because then, maybe the monsters—your mother and her wide selection of personalities as well as aunties, her friends, trying to refer you to their horrible sons—haunting you from under your bed will finally leave you alone.

It was cruel that you’re using someone else to erase the memory of being professed to by one of your best friends.

Guwon was happy enough to take charge the whole date, leading you from food stall after food stall, ordering whatever your eyes lingered at which is half of what the fair offers. He understands your lack of responses as it is, tired from work, and talked enough for the both of you. Which you are grateful for.

He talked about his job and what happened that day, willingly telling you about the story of how he and his co-workers clicked back in College, never to part till now in the field they wanted. He spoke of his dreams, how he envisioned his dream home by the province surrounded by nature and the cat named Nabi waiting for him at home.

There's nothing more blatant of a signal than the last part, whether you accept it or not depends on you.

Normally, you would've frowned at the thought, immediately thinking of running away but as the night deepens and stalls start to close, the idea grows more and more tempting despite the logical voice in your head disagreeing. Seeking a distraction and possibly leading on a kind man is cruel, both to him and you.

But at the end of the day, it’s just an escape from the reality you're stuck in, a temporary answer to a long time problem. 

How harmful can it be? 

People had hookups before, you’ve had hookups before your mother has started a hunt for your husband this year so what are you so reluctant for? 

If this man is to be your husband, you should check your physical compatibility right?

You shivered. God, you sounded like one of those shitty guys you’ve dated before.

"Hey, the stalls just closed. Are you fine with me driving you back to your house?"

His voice cuts through your deep thoughts and you turn to him. Even in the dimly lit corner of the alley, Guwon looked attractive as ever with his dimpled smile and laid back attitude, his soft eyes gleaming under the lanterns, affections overflowing from his gaze and you. shuddered from its weight. 

Staring at the man, you wondered if you'd ever fall in love with him as he seemed right now.

Soon enough, you both arrive in front of your apartment building. However, not every plan goes through as you thought it'd go and you find two familiar figures rushing down to meet you. 

Taehyung didn't hesitate to run up to you with open arms and a wide smile. He didn't even care that you both almost toppled over if it wasn't for Guwon hand supporting you from the back.

"Wh-why are you two here? Shouldn't you guys be resting?"

Jimin shrugged but you caught the mischievous glint in his eyes as a small smile tugs his lips. "Hyung got so worried and wanted us to make sure you got home safely."

"Even a thumbs up would be great but you ignored every text and call! Jin hyung panicked and sent us out, if you didn't come home, he would've had a huge manhunt for you." Taehyung chimed in, pulling away but keeping his hands on your shoulders as he stared deep into your eyes, as if trying to hypnotize you into believing them.

Jimin snickered. “Yoongi hyung was an hour away from declaring you missing so the good dongsaengs we are, we decided to camp outside your apartment.”

You would've accepted his explanation, it was logically sound yet the dark glint of mischief and something else in his eyes as his gaze bounced from you to Guwon told you a different story.

They've always had to interrupt your dates when it becomes sour but this was the first time they've confronted a potential partner outside the intentions of ruining a date because you wanted it to suck.

This was them laying their claim over their own, a silent statement. A declaration you try not to think so much about, fearing you'd dig yourself deep and fall to your death.

“These must be one of your kids?” Guwon asks from behind, reminding you of his presence and you turn to him with an apologetic look.

“Yeah, Taehyung and Jimin. I practically raised them.”

Jimin scoffs and your head snapped to him, widening your eyes in warning to which he ignored. “Just because you’re a year older, doesn’t mean you could say you raised us you know?”

“See what I deal with everyday?” 

Guwon laughs lightheartedly before patting your head to get your attention. “Since your kids are here to protect you, I should get going now.”

“Drive safely.”

“See you soon?”

“Definitely.”

Then he placed a haste kiss on the edge of your lips, catching you off guard and you froze. Guwon was already in his car by the time you realized what happened and turned to chastise him. You couldn't even knock on the passenger window when the arms coiled around your shoulders tightened and tugged you close.

Letting Guwon kiss you in front of one of the men who confessed to you once was the first mistake, second was looking up at Taehyung whose hug is starting to hurt.

Gone were the usual giddiness and child-like enthusiasm that would pour from his eyes. It was replaced by a colder glare, almost blank and emotionless as it narrowed behind you and jaw locked tight. There was something primal in the way his hand behind your head was pushing you closer to him as if he was hounding over his game from another predator.

Goosebumps prickled your skin awake.

If butterflies exploded in your stomach and ignited a molten heat in your abdomen at that very moment, it's a secret you’d take to your grave.

“Tae?”

“Noona, I think we should head inside. It's getting cold.” Jimin’s sweet voice sounded forced and you resisted the urge to look at him.

While their reaction to being challenged is obvious, you couldn't, for the life of you, figure out why he should feel like that when he’s been seeing other people since his confession. From your past dates where he attended as one of your escape plans, he’s  never expressed such an intense show of displeasure so you thought his fleeting crush had passed.

Until tonight.

When Taehyung pulled away, the traces of his hostility were gone and you had to double take at how vastly different he's appearing now. He has his lower lip pushed out into a pout, eyes wide with mirth as he reaches up to cup your cheeks, his warm palms heating your cold-nipped skin.

“Aigoo, you're so cold noona. Let's go in and binge that foreign show you've been following.”

With hands now intertwined, he leads you inside the building where Jimin was already standing inside and was holding the door open for you both. You were being tugged into your own home yet you couldn’t help but feel tense as Taehyung and Jimin welcomed you back in with the same dark look you saw earlier.

[whitecompri]

Hello! I love reading your work! I was wondering if you could write a movie shadow x human female reader that takes shadow in after the events of the canon and they end up having trouble getting along and get into a fight that leads to them having sex thank you!!!

Softer Edge (NSFW)

Pairing: Movie Shadow x Fem!Human!Reader

Genre: Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Slow Burn

Rating: E (Explicit +18)

Warnings: NSFW, Emotional frustration, Mild possessiveness

A/N: Thanks for the request! In the last Smut I wrote, I mentioned that it had turned out longer than I expected… but then, this one turned out even longer. But still, I liked the result, I hope you like it too.

--*--

You ran through your apartment, looking for where you had left your coat, took another glance at the clock, grunting in frustration when you saw you were more late for work than you had ever been in your life. And the reason? You overdid it a bit last night, staying up late watching some movies. 

The night of a lonely person who had just been dumped could be long, but you hadn’t thought about the consequences of the next day—explaining to your boss why you were late. Putting a piece of toast in your mouth, you finally found your coat, grabbed your apartment keys, and rushed out. 

On your way down the stairs—because the lovely only elevator was under maintenance—you almost tripped several times, having to dodge a few kids from the floor below who were sitting around playing. Finally, you reached the street, already tired and breathless, your clothes already stained with sweat from running, becoming uncomfortable against your body as you made contact with the cold morning air. 

Grunting in disapproval while chewing the rest of the toast, you resumed walking with quick steps. Maybe there was still time to arrive at a reasonable hour if you could find a cab. 

However, as you ran toward the main street to try to find a taxi, your eyes caught something in a vegetated area. You stopped abruptly, narrowing your eyes. Between some trees, in the middle of the foliage, something was curled up; its black fur nearly camouflaged it, if it weren’t for the red stripes in its coat. 

Your heart pounded as you approached, initially thinking it was some dead animal, but there was no bad smell or sign of flies nearby. Still, the creature was certainly injured—you could tell by some cuts in its fur and the blood near the plants. Taking another hesitant step, you were still trying to understand what it was. A creature somewhat larger than a dog, yet it didn’t look like anything you had seen before. 

Gathering courage and clenching your teeth, you stepped into the bushes. As much as you were extremely late, your heart wouldn’t let you leave a poor little injured animal there. 

You gasped in surprise upon seeing that the creature not only wore gloves but also strangely different shoes. It moved faintly with its breathing, asleep, but the injuries still covered it, as did its extremely dirty fur. 

Without thinking twice, you picked up a nearby stick, crouching next to it, using the stick to touch the large clusters of quills on its head and back. You jumped a little when you heard a low growl and saw its body tense up. 

That’s when the creature suddenly sat up, looking at you with angry red eyes. You fell backward into the dry leaves in fright, staring in surprise. 

“Leave... me alone, human,” it said softly in a threatening tone, but its voice was weak, and it was clear how its muzzle twisted every time it moved, showing it was still in pain. 

The creature stood with difficulty, staggering, starting to walk—almost dragging itself through the bushes, trying to get away. 

“H-Hey, wait up!” You quickly got up, surprised by that creature, but then you noticed something about it. It was strangely familiar—you were sure you had seen something like it somewhere before. Then you remembered. The strange hedgehog that lived in Green Hills—you had seen him on the news a few times, but never in person. But this definitely wasn’t Sonic, he wasn’t blue like him. “Do you have a name?” 

It stopped, looking at you from the corner of its eyes, still seeming angry. 

“Shadow...” it said briefly, then resumed walking. 

“Wait! I already asked you to wait.” You kept following him. “Listen, what were you doing here in the middle of the woods?” 

“None of a nosy human’s business,” he said shortly, continuing to walk with difficulty. 

“It is my business! You’re all hurt, bleeding and limping—you need help, Shadow.” You jumped over a small thorn bush, grunting softly due to your lack of skill in navigating wilder areas. 

“I need you to disappear and leave me alone.” He huffed. That’s when your hand reached his arm, making him jolt slightly and his eyes widen. He tried to move his other arm, but groaned in pain—his other arm wasn’t in good condition. 

“Listen to me, I can help you. I’m not the type to leave... hedgehogs bleeding out in the middle of nowhere. And I don’t think other humans would welcome you very kindly.” 

“So stubborn...” He huffed, closing his eyes. 

“You are too. I’m going to show you the way to my apartment.” You placed a hand on his back, which made him tense up again, but he didn’t push you away. 

Shadow hesitated for a few seconds. Maybe it was the pain, or the determined look in your eyes. But for the first time, he didn’t resist. 

He looked at you for a second longer than necessary. Maybe trying to understand why you cared so much to help him—after all, humans usually ran from him, not approached him willingly offering help. Shaking his head in defeat, he started walking, letting you lead the way. 

In the end, he knew he needed a place to recover—just for now. He’d decide his next move later. For now, he’d accept it. 

You guided him calmly through the woods back to your apartment. And by this point, you didn’t even want to go back to work anymore—you were tired of that place anyway. You’d quit later and find something better. 

“By the way, I’m [Y/N], nice to meet you.” You said with a smile to him, but Shadow just huffed softly again. He would probably be difficult to deal with, but you were happy to take on that task and help a space hedgehog too.

--*--

You were filling a pot with water, preparing to make a proper dinner for Shadow, intending to help with his recovery. His condition was worrying — cuts, scrapes, bruises... and a dislocated arm you only noticed when he growled in pain as you touched it, which you were only able to confirm when you noticed the swelling present in it. Besides that, he was weak, very weak, and you were more than willing to be part of your newest guest's recovery. 

Having left him in your bed for greater comfort, your focus had shifted to making a delicious salmon with mashed potatoes for the anthropomorphic rodent — a meal that would help him gain some nutrients. That’s when you heard it. 

Turning around with a frown, you heard the sound of his little feet walking across your wooden floor. It sounded similar to a dog’s paws, which you found extremely cute — that is, until you realized he had completely ignored your advice to stay in bed and was walking around. 

Then, he appeared in the kitchen doorway, his injured arm bandaged and hanging from his neck by a sling— the most improvised solution possible, since, for obvious reasons, you couldn’t take him to a doctor or a vet. 

“I told you to stay in bed. You're going to make your condition worse walking around like that.” You crossed your arms at him, but the hedgehog just huffed, walking over to the sink. 

“You don’t boss me around, human.” He tried to reach a glass, unsuccessfully. 

“Do you have something against humans?” Approaching, you grabbed the glass, placing it in his hand. He frowned. 

He stayed silent, choosing not to answer. 

“Look, Shadow...” You crouched down near him. “I know it must be hard for you to trust humans, whatever happened to you... But I’m not going to hurt you, I only want what's best for you, and if you keep moving around, those injuries are only going to get worse...” You pointed at the various bandaged parts of his body, covered with bandages and band-aids. 

His red eyes subtly softened before he sighed. 

“I just came to get water...” he said briefly, heading to the fridge to fill the glass. You quickly stood up, going ahead of him and grabbing the water jug. 

“You could have called me — I would’ve gotten it for you.” 

“No.” He replied shortly, making you frown slightly as you poured water into his glass. And just as you expected, he was a difficult individual to deal with, but you knew you could overcome those small barriers. 

“Sit at the table at least, dinner’s almost ready.” Turning around, you put the water jug back in the fridge. 

“I don’t need you to do anything for me to eat.” He spoke in a low, irritated tone. 

“Excuse me? I didn’t go through all this trouble to make you dinner just for you to reject it.” Your eyes locked onto his, disbelieving the words coming from that hedgehog. 

“I didn’t ask you to do this. I’m not going to eat anything.” He said angrily. That’s when your hand rested on his shoulder, with a grip bordering on painful. 

“Listen, I know you don’t like me one bit, but if you don’t eat, you’re going to die from malnutrition, so you better drag that furry butt over to the table and sit down.” He widened his eyes momentarily, caught off guard by your words, but soon his expression turned back into a grumpy little scowl. 

“I’m not going to starve... I’m the Ultimate Lifeform...” And with that, he turned away, ignoring you, heading back to the bedroom with the glass of water. 

Sighing, you leaned your elbows on the counter. You couldn’t kick him out of your house now — not when he looked just as lost as he was hurt. So you came to the conclusion that you would give the hedgehog more space. After all, he had a strong personality and needed time to get used to everything new in his life. 

--*-- 

Shadow opened your bedroom door carefully, looking into the hallway outside, checking and concluding that you had already gone to sleep. Sighing, he took slow steps, feeling the cold floor under his feet with each movement, despite his fluffy fur. With his good arm, he reached out to the wall, leaning on it to avoid falling — his body was much weaker than it had been in the morning. 

Besides, he hadn’t eaten in a long time. Ever since he fell back to Earth and started searching for the Limiter Rings, he had only wandered with no specific destination, finding isolated bushes to nap and try to recover, away from human sight. But of course, you had to find him. He clicked his tongue in irritation, recalling the overly eventful day — and the overly nosy human. 

He tried his hardest to keep away from humans, but you had to show up and try to take him in with your sweet little words. But he couldn’t lie to himself. He was grateful you had found him — after all, what would become of a weak rodent wandering a world full of humans? 

Reaching the kitchen, he stumbled toward the pots, letting out a satisfied grunt when he touched the pot and felt it was still warm. Looking at the food, he frowned, realizing you hadn’t eaten anything all day either. Because of him, in the end — after all, you had spent most of your day running through local shops looking for the right supplies to treat his wounds and patch the hedgehog back together. 

Shadow felt a bit guilty about that but pushed the thought aside for now. He prepared his own plate with difficulty, using only his good arm. 

Finally sitting at the table, placing the first forkful in his mouth, he let out a low moan of satisfaction for finally consuming something nutritious — and delicious, at that. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had eaten something so good. The taste of the food — warm, soft, made for him — was almost comforting. He hated that. But he hated being alone even more. 

And then he started feeling even more grateful for your concern, for your care. 

Looking back, he observed the food still sitting on the stove. It would be a waste to let all of it spoil. 

The next morning, when you woke up, getting off the couch and folding your warm blanket, you calmly walked to the kitchen, yawning, eyes half-open, still waking up. 

But when your eyes focused on the stove, they immediately widened — all the pots were empty, cleaned, with nothing left from dinner, and a plate and some clean silverware sat alongside them in the drying rack. 

Seeing that scene, your heart warmed almost instantly. In the end, Shadow really was starving — he didn’t leave a single bite behind. And the fact that he had been able to appreciate your cooking filled you with satisfaction. 

Humming happily and now much more awake, you went to the cupboards, grabbing some ingredients to make an amazing breakfast for him. 

--*--

The days passed quickly in this strange coexistence between the two of you. Carrying the basket of dirty laundry to the service area, you suddenly stopped, seeing the hedgehog standing still in front of the bedroom window, observing the city below, not moving a muscle, arms crossed.

He often did that near windows, or in some very specific spots around the house, like on the couch in the late afternoon, facing your goldfish aquarium, or sitting in front of your plant vase. You still hadn’t been able to understand this behavior, so you assumed it was his way of getting lost in thought — wallowing in a past you didn’t even dare to touch, afraid of triggering an emotional reaction or some kind of fury from your guest.

Sighing, you placed the laundry basket on the floor, approaching your grumpy roommate.

“Hey, what are you doing here? Enjoying the view?” You noticed when he flinched slightly, tensing up, his eyes slowly turning to you.

“None of your business...” he said briefly and quietly, before turning his eyes back to the horizon.

“Always so polite. Lovely chatting with you, Shadow.” You gave him a few light pats on the shoulder, to which he didn’t react. “I told you to rest. You still haven’t fully recovered... And you weren’t supposed to take the sling off your arm.” You said, placing a hand on your hip.

“I’m fine now...” he said softly.

“If you were fine, you wouldn’t be wobbling around the house or hissing in pain whenever you move that arm. Come on, go back to bed and relax.” He growled softly, baring his fangs.

“I wasn’t made for this... I wasn’t made to ‘do nothing.’ I need to move soon...” He uncrossed his arms, his muzzle twisting in pain from a sudden movement of his arm.

“You’re recovering, what more do you want?” Now you crossed your arms.

“I don’t care about recovering... I’m already in perfect condition to stop depending on you and leave.” He said a bit more harshly than he intended.

“Oh, is that so? Fine then, you can go — the door’s always open.” You pointed to the bedroom door, waiting for his reaction.

However, Shadow just clicked his tongue, huffing, and returned to the bed, climbing in and settling under the covers.

“What’s the problem, Shadow? I thought you were leaving?” you said, irritated, starting to lose your patience with his behavior — always talking about leaving, about not wanting to depend on you anymore, about not needing help. Yet whenever confronted, he just huffed and retreated like a sulky cat.

“Shut up...” he said, hiding under the blanket.

You didn’t understand why he was like that. You always made sure he had every comfort, but still, he kept acting the same. You tried to figure out if it was some kind of trauma, something that made him feel caged, trapped, but you never came to any conclusion or confirmation — especially with how closed off the hedgehog was.

Maybe, deep down, he didn’t know how to accept kindness without feeling like he owed something in return. But there was no way to confirm that either — Shadow never expressed anything to you.

Heaving a deep sigh, you left the room, picked up your laundry basket again, and went back to your tasks. You liked him a lot, you enjoyed his company, but sometimes he was so difficult to deal with.

--*--

His little footsteps echoed through the house. Shadow raised a hand to adjust the sling wrapped around his neck, trying to keep his arm still to recover from the dislocation. He wandered through the house on one of his usual nightly strolls.

The hedgehog hadn’t been able to sleep well for some time now. It had gotten a little better since you took him in as a guest, but he still had certain difficulties and limitations when it came to laying his head on a pillow and falling asleep. Not even he knew the reason — maybe because, after sleeping for 50 years straight, he didn’t want to feel that same sense of helplessness again. Huffing softly, he left the kitchen with a packet of cookies, munching quietly, having a little snack.

That’s when his ears turned toward the living room. His gaze followed, to the end of the hallway, hearing the sound of your calm, steady breathing while you slept deeply.

Hesitant to follow his thoughts, Shadow simply shook his head, walking toward the living room, spotting your curled-up figure on the couch, wrapped in blankets, sleeping peacefully.

He suddenly felt an inexplicable warmth rise inside him. Swallowing hard, he moved closer, crouching down beside you, observing your features.

Then his expression softened. He truly felt bad about the argument earlier — he just felt strange about everything. He felt like a burden. He didn’t want to spend another minute upsetting you, not after you’d shown him so much care.

But he also couldn’t change his responses. He didn’t know how to react to so many emotions overflowing from him. It left his mind confused and sometimes even impulsive. And that irritated him — he didn’t want to make you upset with his harsh words, but in the end, he had no control over when those words left his mouth.

It was different from fighting and having emotional control against an opponent — he had no emotional control when dealing with you.

Sighing, Shadow stood up, grabbed the packet of cookies, and returned to the bedroom in silence, hoping that someday he’d have the chance to repay you for all your kindness.

Maybe one day he’d be able to sleep peacefully again too. But for now, the cookies would do.

--*--

You entered the living room during the late afternoon, the last lights of the day starting to disappear on the horizon through the window—and of course, in front of that lush landscape—an imposing figure once again stood, arms crossed, watching silently. His claws lightly dug into his biceps, as if he were pondering something.

You didn’t bother talking to him, simply sitting down on your spot on the couch, crossing your legs, your hand reaching for the remote control. It was obvious that Shadow had already noticed your presence—his ears turned back and stayed that way, picking up every sound from your movements or the rustling of your clothes.

“Aren’t you going to ask what I’m doing?” he said, turning just enough for his eyes to lock onto you.

“What for? So you can snap at me again.” You shrugged, not looking at him, pressing the button to flip through the TV channels.

With that, Shadow fully turned in your direction, his red eyes focusing on your every move.

“I wasn’t rude...” he looked off to the side.

“Then what was that? If that wasn’t rude, I’m the president.” You scoffed quietly.

“That wasn’t my intention!” he shot back, stepping toward you.

“Look, Shadow, it’s fine, I’m not going to bother you anymore. I know you hate it when I talk to you, so don’t worry.” Trying to end the discussion quickly, you spoke fast.

“You think that’s what I believe?” He raised an eyebrow.

“How else am I supposed to think? Every time you come at me like I’m the enemy.” He growled lowly at your words, stepping closer, now right in front of you.

“I already told you it’s not what I meant...” he crossed his arms.

“How am I supposed to believe that?...” You looked away from him, gritting your teeth in frustration. “I do everything for you. I quit my job the day I met you, I took you into my home, spent my savings on a massive medical kit just to heal you, made expensive meals for you, and how do you respond?...” You pointed at him, and the hedgehog took a step back, surprised, his eyes widening momentarily. “You treat me like a ticking bomb, talk to me like you hate me...” Your voice cracked a bit, heavy with emotion.

Shadow closed his eyes, unable to hide the softer expression that crossed his face. He felt terrible, deeply guilty for making you think he believed those things. He had never treated Maria like that, and that only filled him with more dread—mixed with a burning determination to prove you wrong.

“So you think that’s how I see you... I’ll show you you’re wrong, human.” Without warning, he closed the distance between you, face to face, his hands gripping your cheeks, holding you firmly in place. He breathed heavily, pressing his warm muzzle against your face, his mouth connecting to yours.

Your first reaction was overwhelming surprise—you stayed frozen for several moments from his gesture, gradually melting into it, your hands gently holding his quills, letting yourself get carried away by the sensation of his fangs pressing into your lips as his tongue explored your wet cavern.

His tongue moved with a near-desperate firmness, yet still calculated—as if every thrust, every hot glide, carried the weight of all the words he never said until now. Shadow kissed you with possessive intensity, his body leaning over yours, hands cradling your face with reverence, his fingers stroking your skin, the soft fur of his ungloved hands tickling pleasantly where they touched.

As time slipped by, you felt his heat rising, his urgency intensifying—he couldn’t hold back anymore.

His lips pulled away from yours with a thin line of hot saliva still connecting you both for a second before breaking and dripping down your chin. Shadow stood still for a moment, his eyes locked onto yours—vivid, glowing red, and hungry. A hunger you had never seen in him before. The hedgehog said nothing, and didn’t need to.

His mouth dropped to your neck with no ceremony. The cold tip of his muzzle brushed your skin with warmth and heavy breath, his lips finding the spot where your pulse beat. The kiss there was wet and deep, like he wanted to leave a mark. You were sure of it when you felt his fangs press into your sensitive skin.

A shiver ran down your body as he sucked slowly, his fangs grazing your flesh. One of his hands slid down your side, tracing your curves with fingers almost too careful for the feral look he’d shown you only moments earlier. He made sure to press his small claws over the fabric of your clothes, making you jolt in surprise.

You bit your lower lip when he finally reached your breasts—his large hands slid up under your shirt, his rough fingers finding your bra. He rubbed his thumbs over it, pressing, massaging firmly, then tugged the fabric up, freeing your breasts and cupping them without hesitation.

His fingers gripped tighter as he felt your hardened nipples under his touch, his mouth still working at your neck, now a little lower, nestled in the dip of your collarbone.

“You really think...” Shadow murmured against your skin, “...that I don’t notice everything you do for me?”

Your reply died in your throat when you felt his other hand slide lower, stopping at the waistband of your pants. He moved his face just far enough to look down at you, eyes locked, demanding permission without speaking.

You flushed deeply, unable to hide in your eyes just how much you wanted this—maybe just as badly as he did. Shadow just breathed heavily, finally able to release the most primal and suppressed desires, and realizing what his touch was doing to you, and how you were responding to each little caress, only made him more eager for what was to come.

With your silence as his answer, he slid his fingers under the button and popped it open with a soft click. Then he tugged the zipper down with a slow, almost cruel motion, never taking his eyes off you, staring with those beautiful ruby eyes gleaming in the growing dark of the living room.

You found yourself holding your breath as he pushed your pants down as far as the angle allowed, and then, without hesitation, knelt in front of you on the couch.

Shadow faced you, between your now-open legs, one hand on your hip, the other pulling you gently by the waist, dragging you forward to the edge of the couch. He placed you exactly where he wanted—exposed, flushed, struggling to breathe.

Your eyes closed partway as you tried to collect yourself a little.

“Look at me.” he whispered, voice low and heavy with desire.

You obeyed, your eyes opening instinctively, locking onto the heated, appreciative gaze of the hedgehog between your thighs, looking at you with such fervor—and the way he responded to that was immediate. His hands slid along your thighs, firm, claws grazing lightly as he spread them wider, settling between them with authority.

The next touch was warm, firm, and cruelly slow. He wanted to show you, bit by bit, just how much you meant to him—how much he appreciated everything, how much he had come to love you even after such a short time together, a human no less. That part was the hardest for him to believe—he was in love with a human.

His hands stayed firm on your thighs, fingers pressing into your skin, claws nearly digging in possessively, holding back the full strength he truly had. The hedgehog’s eyes never left yours, as if daring you to look away first, to give in, to beg. But you had no intention of breaking eye contact with your favorite hedgehog’s dilated pupils.

Then, without a word, he lowered his eyes to your intimacy, observing how your underwear still clung in place. With two fingers, he grasped the edge of your panties and pulled them aside, revealing the damp heat of your arousal already dripping from you. The cool air of the room kissed your sensitive skin, and the hedgehog let out a low, raspy sound from his throat—somewhere between a sigh and a satisfied growl.

“So wet already...” he muttered, almost to himself, the tip of his muzzle inching closer, as if inhaling the scent of your need. You shivered just from feeling him near, but Shadow didn’t rush.

He simply slid the tip of one middle finger between your lower lips, dragging it slowly from top to bottom, pressing torturously slow over your clit—just to watch you twitch. His red eyes flicked back up to your face, studying every reaction, every tremble, every broken breath.

It wasn’t until your breathing stuttered that he gave a crooked smile, clearly amused by how intensely you reacted to every caress he offered. And then, without waiting any longer, he slipped a finger inside, sinking the digit into your wet heat.

He didn’t stop until he was buried as deep as he could go, his ears catching your quickened breaths. His free hand gripped your hip firmly—he could feel the tension in the air, how badly you wanted this, how hard your heart was racing just from a single touch. His finger moved in and out with precision, curling slightly with each stroke. The other hand kept your body in place, not letting you escape that delicious, slow rhythm.

“You’re so soft... more than I expected.” he murmured in a hoarse voice, his eyes still glued to yours, a small smirk curving his lips. You had always wanted to see him smile since the day you took him in, but you never imagined it would be in a moment like this, in this scene, with him making you feel this good.

Then, he added a second finger. The stretch made you gasp, your inner muscles clenching around his digits, which now moved with more force, driving deeper, making a wet, muffled sound with every thrust. His palm pressed against your hip bone, holding you exactly where he wanted—no chance to pull away, no escape from the intensity of his touch.

The heat was building fast inside you, pressure coiling low in your belly. Each push of his fingers made your body arch instinctively, your hips chasing more, even against the unyielding hold of his hand.

But without any warning, he stopped.

He took a deep breath, pulled his fingers out—tips glistening with your arousal—and you gasped, your body nearly curling from the sudden frustration. And he knew exactly what he was doing. He loved every second of leaving you like that—so close, but still just out of reach.

“Not yet.” That was all he said, his voice heavy with authority, but laced with tenderness—for finally having the ultimate moment of intimacy with the human he had come to love so deeply.

“You’re cruel...” you laughed softly, already breathless.

“No need to rush...” he murmured.

Shadow rose slowly, his eyes still locked on yours as the hand that had been between your legs now traveled up to his own hips. He brought the fingers slick with your fluids to his mouth, cleaning them with his tongue slowly, his eyes half-lidded like he was savoring the most exquisite thing he’d ever tasted.

Then, the other hand moved downward over his front, and through the dense black fur of his lower belly, his member began to reveal itself. Erect, thick, dark as night, it throbbed with intensity. He wrapped his own hand around it, stroking himself slowly in front of you.

Your face flushed with heat, and your legs, still spread, trembled lightly in anticipation. Even more so upon realizing that despite being less than half the height of an adult human, he was... well, impressively equipped.

Shadow stepped closer again, positioning himself between your thighs, his body now incredibly close, the tip of his shaft brushing lightly against your sensitive skin. But still, he didn’t push forward.

The softness that overtook his expression in that moment startled you. You’d never seen him look so... gentle, so full of care. With a trace of reverence, he smiled at you, resting his forehead against yours.

“Tell me this is what you want...” he murmured, breath warm on your face. “And I’ll show you how much I care about you.”

You lifted your hand, fingertips brushing his face. His quills bristled under your touch, and from the anticipation flooding his body. In that moment, you realized just how dangerous he was—how sharp those quills were, how powerful, how lethal. And yet, he had never once hurt you physically. Never wanted to hurt you emotionally. He had always cared. From the very start.

So you gave him a smile. Sweet. Welcoming.

“Shadow, you have no idea how much I love you... I need you. Show me.”

That was all he needed.

In a single movement, he slotted his hips between yours, one hand guiding his member to press against your entrance. The direct contact made your body arch, your thighs clench, air escaping your lungs in a sharp, broken moan.

And then, with a slow, deep, firm thrust—he entered you.

The sensation was warm, full, intense. You felt every inch of him filling you with absolute precision, your body reacting with a shiver up your spine and a rush of heat bursting in your lungs.

Shadow closed his eyes for a moment, teeth gritted, savoring the feeling of being buried inside a woman for the first time in his life—his hands gripping your hips tightly as his body struggled not to slam forward from the instinct to thrust hard.

When he finally bottomed out, he paused, breathing through it, eyes closed, cherishing the moment of being so deeply connected to the human he adored. Your hands gripped tightly at his back, fingers threading through his bristling quills, feeling the heat and sweat of his fur.

Then, he started to move.

The pace was slow. Controlled. Each stroke deliberate—almost like every thrust was a silent offering. Every time your bodies met, he let out a deep, warm, rough sigh, like the pleasure was boiling out of his chest in bursts of hot, compressed air.

You couldn’t—and didn’t want to—stop looking at the hedgehog in front of you. The way his eyes narrowed every now and then, the way his fingers dug into your skin every time you moaned louder, the heat on his face whenever your muscles clenched around him from the inside.

“Shadow...” you whispered between muffled moans, feeling the tension inside you building faster than you expected.

He leaned over you, his hips now slamming into you harder, the rhythm becoming more intense, more urgent. The muscles in his abdomen trembled from the effort, his breathing rasped against your neck—no loud moans, only those muffled growls, sometimes shifting into an inaudible murmur.

And as you had already sensed just moments before, you couldn’t last much longer—not with that intensity, not with such a hot and determined body pressed against yours.

The heat swelled in your belly and exploded in a spasm that made your whole body tremble, the wave of pleasure pulling a loud, hoarse moan from you as your body clenched tight around him.

Shadow felt it when you came—his eyes widened at the sensation of your inner walls tightening around him. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before.

He stopped for a second, his whole body trembling, taking a deep breath, trying to hold himself together, overwhelmed by a deep sense of pride for making you feel so good. But he didn’t stop there, only pausing briefly to collect himself—after all, he needed more.

He began to move again, now with a rougher, more direct rhythm, his sweaty forehead resting against yours. His eyes half-lidded, staring at you like the entire world had collapsed into that moment between the two of you.

Time seemed to stop there, in the sounds and creaking of the couch beneath you, the sound of skin against skin, the wet glide of that intimate connection. Until finally, his body gave out, unable to hold back any longer.

One final, deeper thrust, a muffled growl trapped in his throat, and he buried himself in you to the hilt, his hips jerking with force. You felt his heat filling you, the throbbing of him inside you, unloading everything in intense waves—you gasped softly, feeling the rush of hot release pour into you without pause.

Shadow drew a deep breath, shuddering as his most intimate part gave its final spasms, releasing the last thick, warm drops deep inside you.

His breathing turned uneven, heavy—his whole body slumping slightly over yours, supporting himself on his arms on the couch beneath you, his chest rising and falling rapidly against yours, letting you feel not just the sweat-dampened white fur on his chest but also the fast, wild beat of the hedgehog’s heart.

The silence that followed was thick—just the two of you panting, sweaty, messy, but still clinging to one another.

Shadow pulled back slowly, still inside you for a moment, not wanting to leave too soon. He gently squeezed your thighs, carefully watching the spot where you were still so deeply joined—until he finally withdrew, his now-soft member slipping out easily with a quiet, wet sound.

As soon as he pulled out, he saw the evidence of what had just happened—your well-used entrance, long strings of his release beginning to drip, sticky, falling onto the couch and floor below. Meanwhile, you shifted to rest against the arm of the couch, your breathing starting to return to normal, though the delicious sensation of thick fluids dripping inside you still made you shiver and twitch with lingering pleasure.

Meanwhile, Shadow remained in front of you, watching.

His red eyes followed every drop of his seed sliding out of you, dripping onto the upholstery between your still-parted thighs. He couldn’t look away. There was something in the way your body still trembled slightly, in the way you seemed made for him, that kept him rooted there.

A sense of ownership overtook him, drawing him forward again, placing a hand on your cheek. He took a deep breath, savoring your satisfied expression. Shadow was content with what had just happened—he had never felt anything so transcendent before. And if you allowed it, he wanted to do that again, many, many more times.

After all, he had no intention of leaving your apartment anymore—not anytime soon—not after finally confirming what he already knew: that he loved you so deeply, he couldn’t allow himself to walk away from you and your kindness. On the contrary, he would fight to prove himself worthy of every good thing you’d done for him.

“We made a mess on the couch, didn’t we?” you said with a laugh, already thinking about how you were going to sleep there with all that mess.

Shadow grunted softly, glancing down at the upholstery, thoughtful. The mess they’d made did bother him a little—but the warmth of your contact was so pleasant, it made him hesitate to pull away.

“...You’re sleeping in the bed with me... from now on.” he said seriously.

“So we’re already that far into the relationship, huh?” you laughed, and he gave you a small smirk in return.

“I’ll get a towel to clean you up...” he said softly, bringing his muzzle closer and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“So helpful and proactive... If you keep this up, I might actually start to think you love me...” you teased with a giggle.

“You want me to prove it again?” he raised one eyebrow at you, provoking a soft laugh.

“Let me recover from the last time you tried to prove something to me... then we’ll talk about a second round.” He snorted quietly at your answer.

“I’ll clean this up... but next time—it’s going to be in the bed. The way it should be.”

In the light, playful air of teasing and warmth, Shadow turned, heading to the bathroom to fetch a towel. You leaned back into the arm of the couch, waiting for him, already knowing that your life was about to change even more from here on out—especially with a hedgehog that passionate living in your home.

[silksongeveryday]

Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 600!

Here’s a quick 30 min doodle to celebrate! :D

Man time really flies huh

Thank you guys for 3.1k btw!!!

And big thank you to those who have joined me in this wild journey of daily doodles no matter how long you’ve been here. Truly did not expect what started as a joke to make it this far lol

(more stuff I wanted to talk about under the cut)

-A few updates-

General Stuff:

Well, life has been generally pretty busy. And while that’s made it a little more challenging to do daily doodles as of late, it’s been alright for the most part. Some of you may have noticed though that a lot of my daily posts have been showing up as much as 1-2 hours later than the regular time. Unfortunately with all the stuff I’ve been taking care of lately, putting a daily doodle/drawing on top of the pile means it’ll be late very often. I kind of have an unofficial job irl now so this stuffs hard to juggle sometimes.

Hornet’s Strange Adventures:

Initially I was hoping to get a lot of stuff done for this game during October but some recent job stuff is making that pretty hard to do. I probably won’t be able to make any significant progress on this game until very late October and into November. So if you were looking forward to big updates on progress, it sadly won’t be for a while, sorry. Outside of that though, I can at least say that all the routes have been thoroughly planned out from start to finish including the secret route. This includes rewriting some choices that have already been seen during the game’s time on ssed.

About Doodle Requests

I haven’t had them open for a while anyway, but I’ve finally come to the decision that I will no longer be taking doodle requests through tumblr asks/inbox. As fun as it was in the beginning, I often found myself trying to fulfill requests on the daily and that was stressful. That being said, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m stopping requests entirely. I just don’t really want to do them for free anymore. Since I’m on Hornet Journal Series still, it’s a long way away before anything happens, but there’s a likely chance I’ll only do commissioned doodle requests whenever they re-open. We’ll see as it gets closer though.

Thoughts on taking an actual break:

I’ve mentioned this a lot in the past both here on ssed and on my main blog, but I’ve been seriously considering taking a break. Like a real one. Not just a “I’m gonna stockpile a bunch of doodles and pick it back up when I run out” kind of break. Especially with the way life has been going lately (mostly positive at least), I feel as though I may have to retire from daily doodles somewhat soon if there is no official news by the time this blog hits its 2 year mark. Don’t get me wrong I’ve loved doing this for the almost two years that it’s been going but at some point I’ll have to move on from this whether I like it or not. Does this mean that activity on this blog stops altogether? No. I just won’t be doing daily doodles anymore. There’s a more likely chance it would end up being weekly, or possibly monthly. Just not daily anymore.

Whatever the case, that decision will be considered more when 2 years gets closer. Until then just enjoy daily doodles while they’re still here!

—————————————————-

I think that’s all I can think of to say right now. Might post more thoughts on my main maybe?? We’ll see

Thank you again to all the lovely people that have been here during this crazy journey, you guys are awesome :D

[tojiswyfe]

KEEP IT PROFESSIONAL

synopsis: toji fushiguro, a seasoned name notorious in the adult film industry who's everyones desired search. today was just another day at work, except it wasn't. he was met with you. you're a newcomer. a fresh face in the industry with a name that barely rings a bell. toji assumes that you're going to just be another nervous wreck he has to deal with for a day and never see again but he quickly becomes aware of your sharp-tongue and fiery personality that violently clashes with his.

info: experienced!pornstar!toji, inexperienced!pornstar!reader, asshole!toji, confident!reader, swearing, smut, angst, enemies to lovers, eventual romance, eventual fluff, loads of banter.

word count: (?)

not proof read.

god, you were nervous. by all means, it wasnt you're first rodeo but you were used to the home-made, filmed on an iphone type of porn so after being met with the ultra high quality video cameras and microphones that detected even the quietest of noises you were definitely somewhat intimidated.

it was to be expected though, you knew what you were signing up for when accepting the job and well the pay was… well let’s just say your pockets were going to be heavy.

suddenly, the door opened. broad shoulders, muscular build and that skin tight black compression shirt. toji fushiguro. 45 minutes late to the shoot. you were expecting him to apologise for the late arrival but instead you were taken aback by the sentence that left his mouth.

“for fucks sake a newbie? never even seen the girl in a porno let alone heard her name.” he complained.

what? what.

i mean sure you weren’t as renowned as he was but you weren’t completely incompetent at your job.

“excuse me?” you say, flabbergasted at the audacity of this man, “respectfully, you come to the shoot 45 minutes late and the first thing you do is berate me?”

he cocked an eyebrow in amusement and a god awful smirk found its way onto his face.

“respectfully, darlin’, when you’ve been in the industry longer than most people can hold a job, you’re allowed to walk in a couple minutes late.”

you turn to the directors expecting them to scold toji for the lack of professionalism but instead you watch as the directors and film staff hand him an iced coffee and begin to explain the rundown of the scene.

“toji, my man! glad you could make it! okay what’s ‘gonna happen is a simpl—“

the director is cut off by tojis uninterested voice, “yeah yeah, my manager already told me on the way here. husband, house wife plot.”

the director beams with a smile, “that’s right!”

—

minutes before the scene you and toji were getting ready and discussing what you were going to do.

“okay firs—“

“just follow my lead, newbie. i know what im doing.” his voice cuts straight through yours.

no way in hell were you going to allow this asshole of a man get away with disrespecting you again.

“okay man first of all, never cut me off again and second of all, why are you such a dick?” you say assertively while you both begin to make your way onto the set.

“‘maybe you’re just overly sensitive.” he replies, not even sparing you a glance.

you open your mouth to protest but, once again, are cut off by a loud, “cameras rolling in three, two, one, action!”

you cringe as you finally remember what you were initially here for and take a deep breath, suppressing whatever remarks you so desperately wanted to throw at toji and the urge to wipe that stupid smirk off his face.

okay, kitchen counter, toji comes, we fuck and then i can finally leave. you continuously chant in your head.

it was not that easy.

half the day had already gone and all of the takes were ruined by you and tojis constant bickering. seriously, he would be almost half way inside you and then one of you would open your mouth to mumble a snide comment to provoke the other.

the director pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration and sighs, “i swear to god if neither of you learn to be civil we’re all going home and no one gets payed.”

now this caught both of your attentions. it’s like a flip switched in both your heads and you both realised the two of you had a common goal at heart. money.

“last take, make it count.” the director said and the cameras began to roll.

all you were wearing was a pair of panties and an apron. turned towards the stove stirring a pot humming to yourself. suddenly toji walks in. a big brooding man coming home to his obedient house wife. yuck.

his rough hands grab your waist and he leans forward, he groans an he lets his clothed cock press into the plush of your ass.

he’s already hard?

you moan as you feel toji pepper wet, sloppy kisses on your neck and trailing down to your collar bone.

“let me show you how much i fuckin’ missed you ma.”

he bends you over the counter and slides your panties off and massages your ass in his enormous hands like dough.

he shoves his fingers in your mouth aggressively. your eyes widen at the sudden intrusion. you knew he was making a silent dig at you.

he wants to play dirty? well now, you’re practically obliged to you show him how nasty you can be.

you suck on his fingers, moaning and pressing your backside into him more, grinding your bare ass into his bulge.

he smirks as he removes his fingers from your mouth, a string of saliva connected from your mouth to his hand. he swiftly brings it to your pussy lathering it up and sliding a finger in teasingly.

your back arches as he begins to do 8’s on your poor clit. your knees begin to tremble ever so slightly and your breathing quickens. you whimper and he leans down to whisper in your ear, “not such a big shot now, are ya?”

your ears perk up at that and that cloudiness in your brain clears in an instant. you turn around to him and create a slight distance.

“let me show you how much i missed you.” you say letting the words fall of your tongue in such a sultry manner that the crew didn’t even care if you were going off script.

you kneel down and unbuckle tojis leather belt, ‘accidentally’ brushing your hand against his tent.

oh this was going to be fun.

you palm his cock through his now revealed boxers and free it from its shackles of fabric.

oh shit oh shit oh shit oh-

to describe his cock as big would simply be the biggest understatement of the century. his cock was ridiculously big. like ridiculously. it’s girth was proportional to its length and it slightly curved to the right.

you don’t even bother looking at him because you know the second you did you would be met with that shit-eating grin.

you spit on your hand and hold the base of his cock, slowly moving up and down in a sliding motion. his pretty pink tip was already leaking with pre-cum and you slowly teased it with your tongue, licking away the substance.

“fuck..” he groaned in a raspy tone.

when you say you gave him the best head you have ever given, you were not lying.

quickly, you took almost all of him in your mouth. after your throat quickly adjusted to his size you hollowed your cheeks out with his cock, bobbing your head up and down. he grabs a fistful of your hair and bucked his hips into your mouth pushing his length further down your throat.

he tried to hold back his moans just out of spite but the second you took his balls into your hands and began massaging them it was game over. the sensation elicited the loudest groans out of the man. sweat droplets forming on his forehead, glistening in the studio lights.

you knew he was close and your suspicions were confirmed when you saw his head tilt back and felt his hips stutter as a warm liquid filled your mouth.

you let your (e/c) eyes meet his verdant ones and with one big gulp you swallow his seed.

in less than a second you feel the same, familiar rough hands grab you and place you onto the counter, spreading your legs with ease.

he slides his cock up and down your entrance as, “fuck baby you’re already so wet.” he teased smirking.

suddenly he slams into you. you genuinely think your going to be ripped in half. he doesn’t even give you time to adjust before he begins to fuck you at a brutal pace.

you tilt your head back, grabbing his biceps as support, though it doesn’t really work. the sounds of both of your skins slapping together fill the studio. he reaches his hand down to your pussy and rubs your clit in a circular motion.

your heart slams against your ribcage and your thoughts are scattered. your whimpers and moans collide with his raspy groans as he continues to abuse your cunt.

again, he leans down to whisper in your ear, “still got an attitude, newbie?” his warm breath tickled your skin.

all you could do was whine in response. you couldn’t even form coherent sentences due to how hard this man was fucking you. the air was electric, you felt high on lust and trust me, he did too.

he pressed down onto you’re lower stomach and began thrusting into you again until his cock hit that one spot that had you seeing stars. your moan echoed through the studio.

he smirked, “fuckin’ found it.”

rapidly, he began to mercilessly slam into that spot and your vision went white. he felt your pussy spasm and clench around his dick and you came hard.

he followed your orgasm a second after, pulling out and shooting out ribbons of white all over your stomach.

“cut!” the director shouted with that same beaming smile from before. “good work guys that was amazing.”

—

that went pretty well, you think to yourself as you get clothed you grab your things, you think happily about all the things you were going to splurge on after receiving your pay.

a new bag? ooo! maybe a new pair of shoes! oh and i’m definitely getting that necklace ive had my eye on for sooo—

“oi, newbie!” a voice splices through your moment of bliss.

you turn to be faced with guess who! toji.

“what?” you say with an already fed-up undertone.

“good work out there but remember this is just another job for me so no catching feelings alright? i know what you newcomers can be like. after one scene you get all attached and all that shit so do me a favour and keep it professional, alright? i’m heading out, see ya never.”

and with one swift movement the door slams and he’s gone.

your jaw goes slack with utter shock. how big is this guys ego? i mean how dare he question your professionalism.

you take a deep breath and count your blessings that you’ll never have to see the asshole again.. or that’s what you think.

hey guys i hope you liked the first chapter of “keep it professional”

still haven’t decided if it’s a slow burn or but i still mentioned it in the info section.

let me know if you liked it!!

[earlysunshines]

secret rhymes - 11. roomie (half-written)

a/n: and random idol landed on yujin (idk much ab her but hopefully enough for this to be accurate... hopefully)

the sound of the door creaking open pulled you from basically every thought racing in your head. you turn to see a girl stepping in, with a bag slung over her shoulder and a drink in hand. she freezes mid-step as she catches you in her eye, blinking in surprise.

"oh!" she says softly, though her voice carries a slight edge of surprise. "i didn't think you'd make it today."

"yeah, um, surprise?" you offer a shy smile, stepping aside from where you had been standing by your side of the room (the side with literally nothing present). "i just got here yesterday... stayed at a, um, friends place before arriving. you must be my roommate?"

"looks like it," she says, recovering quickly. she walks over and plops down on the edge of her bed. "i'm yujin, ahn yujin."

you look down at her extended hand before reaching over to shake it. her smile was genuine, and it eased you a bit.

"nice to meet you, i'm l/n y/n."

she tilts her head slightly, eyes scanning you a bit before she mutters, "this feels kinda real now."

you laugh softly, nodding as you sit on the edge of your bed. "yeah, it's kind of surreal for me."

there was a moment of quiet as yujin began sipping on her drink, and you began to unpack the bag beside you a bit. the silence wasn't that uncomfortable, you've been through worse, but it hung in the air like a question waiting to be asked.

"so," yujin starts after a beat, glancing over as you take out a pair of slippers. "are you nervous?"

"oh for sure," you admit with a slight chuckle. "you?"

"same." she says, laughing lightly. "but i'm kind of excited too. it's a very weird mix."

you nod, sensing the tension in the room dying down. "where are you from?" you ask.

"daejeon," she answers, "kinda far... so it's a bit different. i've never been so far away from home, but i got a nice scholarship here."

"that's funny, it's the same for me." you explain, "i'm actually from new york city, so this is really... different. i've been a couple times but... living here now? and university? it's kind of insane to me still. i got a full ride, couldn't turn it down, especially at a place like yonsei."

her eyes widen a bit, genuine curiosity sparking in them. "new york? wow. that must be amazing..."

"it has its moments," you respond with a shrug. "it's loud, crowded, and overwhelming sometimes. seoul seems a bit more peaceful, at least where i've been to in the past and yesterday."

yujin laughs at that, her eyes crinkling at the edges. "i guess every place has its ups and downs."

"i guess so."

the initial awkwardness completely melted away as you both talked about your hometowns, your expectations for college, and little things like favorite foods and your love for music. yujin had an easygoing way of speaking, and you could tell she was the playful type as she reminded you of some of your own friends. she was always attentive even when you weren't completely facing her as you unpacked, smiling at you in a way that made you feel like you'd known her a little longer than just a few minutes.

"i feel better now," yujin admits at one point, looking up from where she was folding her own set of clothes. "meeting you, i mean. i was worried i would get some super serious roommate, or someone really hard to get along with -- really just someone pretentious."

""well... am i any of that?"

"oh, far from that. trust me."

you snicker, "i'm glad. but i might be like that if you touch my snacks..."

"what? i would never. well... i do love snacks, so it depends." she gasps in a sort of mock offense, making you giggle.

"right... we'll have to see." you tease. "i think we're off to a good start for now. if you take my snacks, i might have to take yours back though..."

masterlist ; previous — next

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[vigilante24ish]

🌙 Moon Phases 🌙

Agatha Harkness X Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1692

Chapter 27:

The coven gasped, some looking behind them at the cracked glass windows, but everyone quickly focused on you; the source behind everything.

Your hands were glowing white, fingers curled into tight fists in a useless attempt to contain your anger; to control yourself, but your magic kept flowing wild.

"No!" You exclaimed, your voice coming loud across the room. You freed your hand from Rio's and pushed her to the side, not allowing her to keep you back any longer. "You were supposed to be a descent mother and protect her!"

You stood in front of the coven, your chin held high as your eyes held this darkness within them; a look not even Agatha had ever seen on you.

Evanora flew closer, and as her eyes fell on your form, familiarity flashed across her face. Her gaze was hard, and her lips formed a snarl.

"You!" She pointed a ghostly finger at you. "This is your fault. You were supposed to kill her back then. That was your responsibility, and yet you refused, forcing my coven to take the risk"

Your hands shook. "I was a child!" You argued. "I didn't even have my first bleeding, and yet you dared to ask me to kill your own child!"

Agatha looked at you with wide eyes, never knowing this little piece of information. She never knew that her own mother had approached you, asking you to take her down

Back then, you truly were a child; no older than 11. You had been close to Agatha, and yet she was surprised that you so openly refused to acknowledge or follow Evanora's orders.

After all, that woman had allowed you to reside within the grounds of her coven and even invited you in different coven rituals.

One would expect you would do anything to thank the woman that kept you sheltered and part of a coven when all the other witches would have kicked you away.

Yet, even then, you refused her. Even then, you chose Agatha over anyone else. Even then, you believed Agatha was kind in her heart, and she was not the monster her mother saw her as.

"This was what you were created to do!" She so openly and harshly reminded you. "To exterminate evil contaminating the purity of witchcraft, " Evanora continued. "This was your responsibility "

By now, your magic was seeping through your clenched fingers; glowing bright and flowing up in extended branches. The blood red moon was glowing behind you, its haunting light entering through the cracked window as your emotions started to get the best of you.

"It was your job as a mother to help her!" Your vocid grew even louder, tears gathering at the edges of your eyes as frustration was building up. "You were supposed to nurture and guide her. To show her the right path. Instead, you tricked her on her very own birthday! You used her loyalty to you and tied her to a post, ready to execute her the day she had just turned 18!"

There were a few faint gasps from the coven who did not know the details of that fateful night. They didn't know the true darkness hidden behind the 'salemite masacre'.

But you knew, for Agatha told you everything. You knew it was her birthday. You could still remember how happy she was; ready to be fully initiated into the coven.

You remembered how happily she thought her mother had finally softened up to her. You remembered how you tried to persuade her not to go, fearing Evanora had no good intentions.

And, of course, you remembered how the same night she had come to you; shaken and on the verge of tears. You would always remember as she told you what happened and how her coven was dead because her powers protected her during her execution.

"You should have acted like a mother. Not the selfish, ignorant, prideful and disgusting cruel whore you truly were" you added, leaving Evanora no place to argue. "You. Failed. Her!"

The windows were suddenly destroyed, pieces of glass falling inside and causing your coven to yell and surprise and faint fear; taking steps closer to avoid the shower of glasses your magic had brought upon everyone.

"Shouldn't we stop her?" Teen asked, staring to worry that your magic would drop the whole cabin on their heads.

"I don't think it's wise to interfere," Jen suggested, eyeing your raging magic carefully.

"This is only a fragment of how explosive moon magic can be," Lilia commented, passively informing Alice and Teen; the most clueless ones.

The tears that had gathered at the edge of your eyes had long dried up, your gaze so cold and threatening that even Evanora floated a step back.

"I dare you, Evanora Harkness," your voice sounded deeper, less humane. "Dare to try and even touch Agatha and I swear on the name of the Divine Mother that I will tear your dark soul into so many pieces that no one will ever be able to bring you back"

Rio let a low whistle, looking at you impressed and proud; if not, slightly turn on. You had never used that voice of yours before, and now she truly wished to hear it again.

She had been unaffected by the destroyed windows, having seen first hand what took place when you truly let go; the consequences of anything alive and not that was unfortunate enough to get caught in the blast of your magic.

She might not be able to harm Evanora as a ghost, but you could. It was a blood full moon, the veil so thin that the purity of your powers could cause harm on a restless soul.

Though it was unclear even to her if you truly knew that or were simply bluffing; trying to keep Evanora away from her daughter.

At the same time, Agatha was looking at you in silence. She knew of the nature of your powers, of how volatile they could be, but even she was impressed by the show of power.

That dark, inhumane tone made her hair stand on end, in a good way. The way your hair moved from the wind and force your magic was causing as it glowed white all around you was a sight she would never forget.

But above all, Agatha felt proud and genuinely thankful for having you by her side. The way you once again defended her without a moment of hesitation, ready to stand between her and danger; ready to support her when she truly needed.

If she had not developed feelings for you all those centuries ago, she definitely would have known.

And as Agatha noticed Evanora floating further back, careful of your swirling magic; she grabbed her chance to head for the wooden stairs and join her coven.

Yet, before her socked foot could leave the last step of the stairs; a voice spoke up, and by the triple Goddess, Agatha had started to hate listening to her.

"We have to go." Jen said, making everyone look at her. "There's no flood here. There's no fire. The only danger to us in this trial is Agatha Harkness." She explained, doing her best to avoid your sharp gaze or focus too much on your glowing powers.

Immediately, Agatha lost the grip on her usual mask. "Take me with you." She said but saw the looks Jen and even Lilia gave her. "Don't. Let me. Please. Don't go!"

Teen put his foot down. "We can't leave her here. No, no."

"Take me with you. Please." Agatha's voice cracked as Jen started to walk further and further back. "Don't leave me with her. I can be good. Please!"

Your heart felt like being broken into a thousand pieces at hearing that begging tone again. You heard that inner child that was betrayed and abandoned by her family and coven once...

Now about to be abandoned again by the witches she had thought as her coven.

You turned your body sideways. "You leave then!" You barked at Jen, doing your best not to move your hands for you knew your magic would blast the potions witch. Though with her attitude, you truly felt tempted. "If you think this will save you, go! I am not leaving her"

Hope spread warmth across Agatha's chest, hearing how strongly you were willing to stay. She looked at Rio as well, seeing her nodding and agreeing with you.

None of her two lovers were willing to leave her trapped with her mother; forever tortured by being possessed and in pain by the ghost of the woman that birthed her.

Before Agatha could truly enjoy the moment, Evanoda made her move.

The ghost had taken advantage that your attention was not on her, and she took over Agatha's body. She knew, after all, you would not be able to stop her that way.

You would not risk harming Agatha, not even when possessed, and Evanora was ready to take full advantage of that.

"Agatha!" You exclaimed, seeing her once again possessed and mentally cursing yourself for not keeping your eyes on the sneaky ghost.

"Leave her alone!" Alice shouted and started to shoot her red and yellow fire magic at Agatha, the power slowly pushing away the ghost from within the body.

You grabbed your chance, and once Evanora was fully out of Agatha's body, you unleashed your gather magic at her.

A thick beam of white light was shot at her with intensity. Evanora screamed in pain, and her hands spread to the sides like a cross while your magic started to crawl over her ghostly form; only to burn it in an ethereal show of power.

You panted faintly and lowered your hands, the ghost of Evanora having faced the full fury and power of your magic; paying the ultimate prize.

After all, you were not a woman who went back on your oaths and promises; especially one serious enough to invoke the moon godess.

Yet the moment of joy and victory remained short as you took notice what was happening close to you.

"Alice, no!"

"Knight of Wands"

"No!"

[lanawinterscigarettes]

for kinktober: Eddie Munson giving oral to a transmasc reader?

ofc, thanks for the kinktober request <3 (I really hope he isn't out of character here)

Kinktober 2024 Day 18: Eddie Munson giving oral to a transmasc reader

Warnings: smut/nsfw content, cunnilingus/oral sex (reader receiving), slight hair pulling, Eddie's a massive tease, swearing

You were over at Eddie's trailer for what was supposed to be guitar lessons. You'd always wanted to learn, and luckily for you the town's resident bad boy not only owned a guitar himself but was also kind enough to offer to teach you how to play. That's what you'd initially planned on doing, anyway, until things got sidetracked in one of the lewdest ways possible.

He definitely didn't expect you to show up wearing cut-off shorts with a spaghetti-strap tank top of all things, but in your defense Hawkins had been having an unusually hot fall and you didn't want to be sitting in a trailer that had no air conditioner for hours on end while you were sweating your ass off.

"Damn, sweetheart. I was going to make a joke about you having to repay me for guitar lessons, but if you're going to show up dressed like this every time I guess there's no need," he lightly teased, letting his eyes linger on your bare arms and legs a bit longer than he probably should.

"Haha, very funny, Munson." You thought nothing of his comments as you rolled your eyes, chalking them up to being nothing more than the usual flirty quips he'd throw out whenever he saw you. It wasn't as if he was attracted to you or anything like that, he just acted like that around everyone his age. That's what you'd convinced yourself, anyway.

"Seriously, you should wear shorts more often. The legs on you are enough to make a man drool," he continued with a cheeky smirk, watching as you flopped down on his bed with a certain sense of casual ease. You'd been over to his place so often you didn't even think twice about it. "And don't even get me started on those arms and collarbones."

"Yeah, yeah. I get it already, you pervert," you lightheartedly complained while tossing a pillow in his direction, which he caught before it could hit him in the face. You hated to admit it, but the playful compliments he was throwing your way was starting to actually have an affect on you. You could feel your face growing hot, and it wasn't due to the weather.

Eddie wasn't stupid, either, despite what other people might think. He knew just how much his words were getting to you, which is why he wasn't at all fazed by your complaints or the way you threw one of his pillows at him.

"Ouch, sweetheart. That really hurts to know a pervert is all you view me as," he feigned offence while making his way over to the bed, setting the pillow back down as he sat next to you. "And here I thought you might actually like me."

"Oh, shut up," you huffed with another eye roll, starting to run out of retorts to his nonstop teasing. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he actually liked you, but there was no way that was possible.

"Make me." He leaned in some, the smirk that was on his face having widened into a grin. He wasn't really expecting you to do anything in response except for maybe giving him a shove before telling him to knock it off, but you were feeling a little bit bold today, bolder than usual.

Maybe it was the outfit you were wearing, maybe it was the heat, but whatever the case may be you were willing to take his dare and run with it. Which is how you found yourself laying back on his bed without your shorts or underwear on, his face trapped between your thighs as he ate you out like a starved man.

"Oh- Oh, my God-" You moaned out loudly as you arched your back up off the bed, your hand finding its way to his hair and giving it a sharp tug. "God, yes- Just like that-"

You could practically feel the way his lips were turned upwards into a smug position at your desperate cries of pleasure, and you had no doubt that he was enjoying this just as much as you were.

His tongue moved expertly throughout your dripping wet folds, zigzagging from one area to another as he slurped happily. The cold metal from his rings dug into the soft flesh of your thighs as he gripped them tightly, keeping them spread apart.

"God, baby, you taste even better than you look," he mused out loud as he lifted his head up some to glance at you, seeming amused by the way you shoved his head back down with your hand.

"I thought I told you to shut up already." Your words held no real malice to them, but he could tell you were going to be pissed if he kept denying you, so he didn't push it.

"Jesus, baby boy, calm down. I was just trying to give you a compliment, sweetheart, that's all." His mouth met your pussy again, pulling a long and loud whine from you when his nose intentionally bumped into your clit.

"You're doing this on purpose, you bastard," you accused while tightening your grip on his hair, something that made him let out a groan that seemed to reach your very core when the vibrations of the sound hit your pussy.

"Sorry," came out his muffled response as he finally stopped teasing you and got back to work at eating you out like he was supposed to be doing in the first place. You left out a quiet sigh of relief that was shortly followed by a series of needy moans, your fingers lacing through his hair as a grounding mechanism.

Learning how to play the guitar may have been a fun idea, but getting head from the guitarist himself ending up being a much better one, especially when he made you see stars from how good he was at doing it.

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[tumblingxelian]

No Pit Madness - What the Lazarus Pit might actually do to a human brain:

So, I hate the whole "Pit Madness" BS but I do find how the brain works fascinating and ended up wondering how something like the pit might effect the brain and if it could influence behaviors in a none ableist or "Evil magic" way. So please join me as I outline a fun little thought experiment about how the Lazarus Pit could influence someone's personality, but not in the way you'd expect!

Let's begin with a fun fact!

When we experience trauma is can leave a physical mark on our brain even if it wasn't physical trauma it still mars the fleshy sponge that is our brain.

This can be useful, like learning fire = hot & the ensuing pain = bad!

It can also hard-code in a lot of really bad stuff which is why when it comes to certain mental illnesses medications to suppress certain parts of the brain need to be taken for upwards of ten years. This is to ensure the damage does not keep perpetuating itself while the brain builds new neural pathways until the source of the sickness is gone.

So, now imagine if you get dumped in a Lazarus pit and and EVERYTHING comes back in perfect clarity. That's likely why people coming out are so initially panicked and wild, they are experiencing total sensory overload on a level never before imagined!

But, the influence of the pit likely lingers as it works its way through the body and so its still repairing damage as it happens. Which is key to my next point and we'll use Ra's as an example.

Ra's was a doctor, a healer, a man who wanted to better the world. But in that journey he saw and eventually did terrible things. Things that would forever change him, quite literally in this case.

Because imagine if you will, all that stuff coming back all at once, but then imagine the Lazarus pit remnant going "Oh the brains getting damaged real fast, better fix that!"

Put simply, it effectively heals the damage done to the mind via traumas as the brain is trying to process and learn from them.

This happens be they brought up by the pit or simply on the persons mind in the immediate after effects. The brain is trying to hard code in "Thing bad" but the Lazarus pit won't allow the brain to experience that kind of damage and wins out for at least a time. Essentially fortifying the mind against taking this kind of damage.

Using Ra's as an example the longer he lives, the more he sees and does, the more this stuff compounds and the more the pit has to heal when he goes in and comes out. By virtue of getting that healing, those actions no longer have the same kind of mental or emotional impact they once did. Causing him to become increasingly alienated from the human condition and the horrors he inflicts on others.

Now, for someone who went into the pit once this is likely not a huge deal but let's go over some example using this current model:

1: Cassandra Cain was killed by Shiva and thrown in a pit, she came out and killed Shiva, something she would normally be so violently opposed to she'd die rather than do it. This isn't merely philosophical for Cassandra it is also rooted in intense trauma. But this act did not impact her the way it should. Cassandra retains her intellectual and emotional morals, but the trauma that comes with seeing or causing death no longer hits her the way it once did, because her brains now been hard-wired to be able to handle that without taking damage.

2: Bruce has if I recall been in the pit at times, so wouldn't the trauma over his parents be lessened? No, because Bruce tends to go in the pit when he's on missions and thus compartmentalizing. Thus instead the trauma is just as bad or slightly worse because its in a sense been refreshed once he's out of mission mode and the Lazarus Pit effects wear off. IE, he got factory reset but kept all his memories, now they are just clearer than ever before and that's worse.

3: Much like the the above, Jason was factory reset as far as is brains physical trauma went and so confused when he came out that he wasn't entirely clear on having died over just getting injured. By the time he did know the pits effects had worn off, so this was his brains first major "new" old trauma, and thus it responded the way a new brain does to trauma with "This is the worst thing because its the first bad thing" magnifying its impact and solidifying it in his brain.

This hasn't made any of them new people, they retain agency in their actions and beliefs. But for a physical comparison, its like how some stories have someone coming out of the pits feet be baby smooth and thus needing to build up calluses, except for the brain.

The difference is, because one retains the memories, if they are in a calm scenario and ideally unconscious when first coming out of the pit, they could wake up, calmly meditate on things and come out more or less the same as before save maybe a little more level.

Most people cannot do that and so their brain gets a jagged, clumsy, often entirely unhelpful wave of protective film over major horrors, or get to experience them again like they are brand new with no in-between. Thus meaning the results tend to be either:

"Huh, that used to fuck me up but now it doesn't."

Or

"Oh gods this is worse than I remembered it, aaah!"

Or in other words you either get over stuff you probably shouldn't or get super re-traumatized with no middle ground and neither is ideal.

[amphitriteswife]

Jaegyeon na NSFW HC’s

Fem reader

@yue-yolk

✨ He’s more of a switch in bed. He doesn’t mind having you take the lead, he’ll follow right behind you. But there are times where he wants to be in charge, just like when he’s behind the steering wheel.

✨ he EATS okay. Eater. Nom nom. He doesn’t even care what he eats he just eating. He’ll lick it from the front to the back and from the back to the front. Long. slow. licks. Sucking, humming, lapping, anything. He’ll look you straight in the eyes too while he sucks or humms against you. Pull his hair back too, he’ll like if more than he wants to admit.

✨ his nether regions are well kept and yes the hair is black and not blonde or red (😔) they’re rather thick but it’s not bushy. It’s more like a carpet and it’s only above his dick because he does NOT like hair under it. He may like a carpet but not a swamp.

✨ He has a thing for car sex. He will always try to mask it by playing annoyed with you. ‘Don’t be so sloppy. You’ll dirty initial N.’ Or ‘babe, I can’t see the road if you keep bouncing like that.’ Even though he’s annoyed and clicks his tongue at you, there is no way he doesn’t like it. He’s the one having his hand on your head and making you choke. He’s the one who trapped you in between his arms and using the ‘i’m just using the steering wheel’ excuse when you bounce on him, knowing that he only ever uses one arm to ride.

✨ he’s very perverted when it comes to masturbating. Most of the time its actually an intrusive thought in his eyes and he feels embarrassed for it too. What does he use for doing that? His hands most of the time, but if he’s feeling really freaky, he might rub himself on your pillow. Does it feel godly and did it make him extremely horny? Yes. But after he was fine he felt so ashamed and changed your pillow. He’ll take that to his grave

✨ he cums faster than you’d expect. But usually it’s not that much. When he’s edgying he lasts just way longer and cums more than usual. It’s more on the thicker and creamier side. He usually doesn’t come inside, mainly because he doesn’t want accidents to happen. But he’ll later on be more okay with it depending on a discussion about it. He prefers facials though

✨ Jaegyeon uses a lot of pet names. He doesn’t feel ashamed for them and uses them regularly. His favorites are ‘darling’ and ‘princess.’ He uses them or a regular basis, but he also has special ones he’ll use just in bed. When his voice is slightly strained and hoarse from moaning too much. Depending on your preference, he could call you his ‘good girl.’ Or if you prefer to he a top he has no problem calling you his ‘mommy’(im cringing but i do hc it so leave me alone for it-)

✨ Now, what does his dick look like? It’s slightly above average, so like 15 cm. It’s more vainy by the shaft. The head is like #ffc1cc. It also has a long vein on the bottom which actually helps with stimulating you since it rubs against your G-spot, he isn’t embarrassed by his size or how it looks. More that he’s naked in front of his girlfriend and he feels slightly flushed by if. If he’s flaccid if’s around the same length, and he can move it like a propeller.

✨ Degrating kink and a praise kink. How is that possible? He doesn’t know it either, but on some moments he likes it when you curse at him and dominate him, the others he likes it when you take care of him. It’s all about his mood. And in either one of them he begs a lot. As in full on pleading and being polite about it too.

✨ ‘you know I love you so much….ah…you feel so good….initial N.’ ‘UHM??? Excuse me???’ ‘Oh sorry Princess, wrong babe mb.’ Yes he would accidentally say Initial N during sex. And yes he will not deny it being his babe. He’s very defensive about it okay?

✨ definitely a fan of toys. Cock rings, vibrators, whips, anything you can ever think of, he has it. Does this mean he ever used them when he was single? Most of them he did not. He only ever maybe used a cock ring. But when you came into the picture he would use them a lot more. He also felt SUPER embarrassed at first and actually almost cried.

✨ he likes stockings, he thinks their sexy and likes to feel your legs when you wear them. He doesn’t really care which type of stockings, fishnet, garterbelts, with or without lace, with bows or prints. He likes them all. Keep em on during sex though, it turns him on real bad

✨ when it comes to traditional sex, most of the time he’s super caring and lets the both of you enjoy it. To him he’s more of a person who wants to make you feel good. Although at times when it feels too good he may space out a little because of the feeling. As in he would sometimes be rough but apologize for it.

✨ so, what is Jaegyeon’s preferences on a woman? Legs. He likes legs. Sexy, hot, thigh job. Head in between. But when it comes to shaving the nether regions, he don’t really mind? He thinks its kind of hot if you’re not super smooth. To him its a sign of maturity because pubes can actually be useful since it helps with infections. So he doesn’t mind, whether it’s bushy or just a carpet. He doesn’t mind diving into the forest

That’s all for now🫶🥶

[keep-me-warm-please]

“Thanks for peeling this,” he commends before taking a bite of his beef jerky

You look over as he takes a bite of his Slim Jim. He takes this opportunity to flash a wide grin. If you didn’t know better you would think it looked like a predator flashing the oppressive white of its teeth at its prey. You tried to keep your composure, but he was on a mission to make you submit; test the waters of your new confession.

When you initially told him about your fart fetish he laughed. It wasn’t until the embarrassment of your seriousness that he knew you weren’t lying.

“Is that why you love eating my ass,” he teased. You were too shy to elaborate in the moment so he left you alone. Walking away with an amused grin. You could tell it humored him. That someone so proper, so clean and hygienic would want to worship his unwashed farting asshole. You figured since he never brought it up again he wasn’t interested.

The lingering scent of his last emission hung thick in the air. Even if you didn’t want to sniff it there was no escaping the eggy, meaty stench. He took another bite of his snack. His smile fading slightly. Now just a casual cocky grin, his eyes on the road,

“Am I living up to your fantasy,” he prods. He relaxes in his seat slightly and you expect another toot to escape.

He side eyes you as he shifts, and chuckles; there was no fart. He’s laughing at your anticipation. He’s testing your desperation. How bad do you want it? Bad enough to look down and observe the way his thighs sink into his seat.

“Umm..” you drone out softly distracted and unsure of what to say. The vulnerability from revealing such a shameful secret leaves you embarrassed. What do you say?

“Does it smell good,” he asks in a joking tone. You can tell there’s a sense of genuine curiosity too.

“Cause fuck I think it reeks in here.” His smile grows wider as he speaks. His words re clearly riling up something inside of you. You’re clenching your thighs together and stifling your breathing.

He takes a small bite of his beef jerky and then sets it down in the cup holder again. For the first time since getting on the highway he looks at you, really looks at you; not a glance or a side eye. You look back at him, and the nervousness in your stomach must’ve translated to your face because you watch his smile soften. His humor shifts to compassion and you watch as he reaches a hand over to your shoulder. He squeezes your shoulder and moves it over to the back of your neck.

“If you want me to stop baby. I won’t tease you.”

“I’m fine, it smells great, you’re exceeding my fantasies,” you blurt out awkwardly hoping to diffuse the tension. His face softens again. You know this look. It’s a look of mock sympathy, a condescending snarl that makes you feel smaller than you are. It’s the look he gives you when he teases you with his fingers, and his tongue and whatever else he can torture you with. It’s the look he gives you after he makes you cum. Your awkwardness turns back to being flustered as you realize now he has no intent of showing you mercy, and then you hear it: another deep rumble from his seat. This one is longer and wetter than the others, but is almost fully muffled by the seat.

“I’m glad you’re doing fine, and I’m glad I could exceed your fantasies,” he teases, squeezing your neck before letting go and picking up his Slim Jim. Oh god, you’ve created a monster, and oh god, does it smell. You feel your face cringe as the smell hits you. It’s thick and meaty, and you can tell by the way his stomach gurgles as he takes a bite of his beef jerky and the sigh he lets out its far from over.

You’re barely two hours into a 12 hour roadtrip and he’s already filled the car with the faintest stench of ass. Even as you try not to pick it up every inhale is traced with him. He’s finished his snack, and his hand has made its home back on your thigh. His silence leaves you on edge. You’re constantly anticipating what he is going to do or say next, it’s killing you. You want to talk about the pretty wildflowers or the shape of the clouds, but you’re shocked into silence, awaiting his next move. He can see the anticipation on your face he’s marveling in the silent submission he’s locked you in with nothing but his gas. You go for the next thirty minutes in silence. Every now and again he’ll squeeze your thigh playfully, but his eyes remain on the highway.

It’s almost a relaxing ride, it could be a comfortable silence if it wasn’t so charged. There is a peace in the air, along with some other things, until his hand squeezes your thigh tight enough you have to stifle a whimper. You quickly look over at him and he spreads his legs and rips a poot. You go to turn away in response, but he grabs your arm and pulls you closer.

“Where are you going baby? Come here, take off your seatbelt.”

“What,” you ask confused and shocked at his rough insistence.

“Take off your seatbelt,” he repeats in a darker tone. Your neck prickles at his assertive tone but you can’t give in that easy.

“No, we’re on the highway, y-“

“Take it off Princess, that’s not a question.” He moves his hand down to unclick your seatbelt, but you quickly maneuver your fingers down before he can get to it.

“What do you want?” You try to muster as much attitude as you can but you sound just as weak as you feel. Then you watch as his hand hovers over your body and moves to the back of your neck. You can feel the warmth of his hand before it even makes contact with you.

“Sniff this for me,” he says pulling your neck over the console. Defying all reason you follow his control without second thought and place your nose at the inseam of his pants, and sniff.

“Good girl,” he says stroking your hair as you inhale deeply. You feel his dick bounce against your cheek as it throbs from your proximity.

“Good girl,” he says again, almost in a moan, “It was starting to stink in here.”