crstairs-blog
jen ^^
63 posts
ive been on tumblr for years and i still don't know how to use it | new acc | bi | 16 | she/he/they
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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now i am loosing my name - it was getting shorter and shorter all the time and is now : yours
-franz kafka
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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Art by Lena Rivo
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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Jem is my greatest sin. Jem is what I have allowed myself. No one can live with nothing, Jem is all I have
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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the infernal devices color palettes
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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No, but Gracetopher is Thomastair's tragic mirror and I think it's time we talk about it.
We have Alastair Carstairs and Grace Blackthorn. Both abuse survivors; both in unspeakable situations. Both people who have done horrible things at a young age because that's what they had to do to survive. Both very alone, with no one to love them but a sibling that they have a forced distance with.
Both perceived as monsters.
And then there are the Lightwood cousins, inseparable since birth. Thomas, a poetic dreamer with his head in the clouds, and Christopher, a scientific innovator who's well up there, too. (Both are also almost certainly autistic imo, but I don't want to derail this canonical analysis with my headcanons.)
They forgive.
And they're the first people in Alastair and Grace's lives to show them kindness, to reach out a hand and give them the grace they need to grow.
Thomas sees the best in Alastair, teaches him that he is loveable, that he deserves to be happy and share love, because love is the best thing we do.
And Alastair, as he deserves, is now "perfectly happy with everything exactly as it is." In Thomas's eyes, he has found hard-earned joy; he has found peace he never had.
Christopher sees the best in Grace, too. Where Thomas sees the pure and unfiltered love that Alastair holds, the selfless sacrificial affection, Christopher sees in Grace a will of iron and a beacon of strength. Grace, who has never been valued for anything more than her beauty, is finally seen as intelligent and passionate in Christopher's eyes. And, because she is these things, because he asks for the "honor of her opinion" and believes her "brilliant," she is, for a short time, herself.
And then Christopher dies.
Thomas and Alastair grow closer, and they have the chance to bring out the best in each other. Alastair opens up emotionally; Thomas becomes more confident. In the end, they become who they truly are because they find solace in each other. But Grace...
Well, Grace is right where Christopher left her. He left her no choice but to stay there forever, dust collecting on her pinned-up hair.
Without Christopher, she no longer has that mirror. She loses the only person to see her as she is - a strong, smart, brilliant girl with unfiltered and unlimited mental potential.
That's the tragedy of Grace Blackthorn. With a mirror, with those eyes (or crooked spectacles) that she could see her true reflection in, she too could have been happy. Alastair is the proof. But now, she does not get that. She is alone again. Dare I say that she is doomed by the narrative.
And yet. Yet.
There is a glimmer of hope, because Grace saw who she really is in Kit's lavender eyes, if only for a moment.
It's a far cry from Alastair's happy ending, and the story of Grace Blackthorn is in my opinion probably the most tragic in TSC.
But still.
She knows, deep down, that she can be more than a monster.
She can be a scientist.
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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reblog if you’ve read fanfictions that are more professional, better written than some actual novels. I’m trying to see something
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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im reading the whole TSC series in chronological order for the first time (so TID first, then TLH, then TMI and them TDA) and these are exactly my thoughts! at first, going from chain of thorns immediately to city of bones was a bit of a shock, bc I had forgotten how different cassandra clare’s writing is now compared to her first books. this made me dislike the first few chapters of CoB, but as I kept going, I realized how fun the books are!
they’re not as high stakes as the other series I’ve read so far in my little tsc marathon, but that’s actually refreshing. I’m not constantly worrying my favorite characters will die in a super important battle, I can just enjoy simon becoming a rat for a while. it’s definitely a much needed break from all the pain tid and tlh caused lmao
I used to dislike tmi in comparison to the other series, but reading them back to back has made me really appreciate this silly little gang and I know love them sooo much more
"TMI is the worst-written TSC series" Okay. Okay, you are objectively correct, but I think we need to appreciate how genuinely fun TMI is. It has a great group of characters, and all of them have distinct personalities and voices. It's fast-paced. The humor is genuine and omnipresent. It manages to be consistently lighthearted on a character/relationship level despite its darker underlying themes and plotlines. This isn't even to touch on the hugely important role that the series played as a pioneer for LGBT representation in modern literature.
TMI isn't good, but it's fun. And that's genuinely what matters. You can't go into it expecting a literary masterpiece, but you can expect a wild ride, time with some great well-developed heroes and heroines, and a witty and engaging tone. Tolerate the weird metaphors and grammatical mistakes. Forgive questionable plotlines. Clary Fairchild and her found family are worth it.
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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see i do think its fascinating that behind like almost every text in the halls of the queerbait canon is one or more insane gay person in a major creative position and i think this requires more insight and discussion what really broke this wide open for me was realizing a bunch of the most baity episodes of house were written by one of the lesbian executive producers from xena and i think this is a really under explored area of study and tbh who can blame them like i would do this if they let me in a television writers room..
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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Reblog if you're not homophobic
Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad. 
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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My dad was dealing with some mixed feelings so I told him "In therapy when something is too complicated to do a simple 'pro and contra list' we sometimes do an excercise where you imagine all these mixed feelings around a table in some kind of conference, letting each tell their bit and you leading the debate."
and my dad didn't really respond and just stared ahead so I kept preparing lunch. Until a few minutes later when he suddenly piped up: "I am having a bad time at the conference"
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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There is another reality where Kaz and Jesper's farms are a not far walk away and they grow up to be little terrors together, and when Kaz and Jordie's father dies, they are not alone in the world. Where Inej is not stolen from her home but grows up to be the incredible acrobat she wanted to be. She travels all over the world and Kaz falls in love with Inej when their traveling circus travels to their small town. Wylan is not shunned by his father and goes on to learn the business. Jesper meets Wylan in a business meeting, negotiating the fate of the farm rather than in a tannery. Where Mathias, a bodyguard meets Nina, a translator during a peace negotiation, and they are a force for change. But that is not the reality of our crows.
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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MY TDA BOX SET JUST CAME IN THE MAILLL!!!! ITS SO PRETTY!!! IM SO EXCITED !!!!!!
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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one of my favorite things in tid is Charlotte & Tessa’s relationship and I especially love how Charlotte is so encouraging of Tessa to be active in the institute the same as Will or Jem or anyone else and views her as insightful, and also fully respects that Tessa should have full agency over when her ability is going to be used like her asking Tessa multiple times when she comes up with the plan to turn into Starkweather if she’s sure she’s comfortable / making sure she knows it’s her decision ultimately. It’s exactly what Tessa needs after having her power viewed as a commodity by the dark sisters and Mortmain and struggling with her sense of self and autonomy in the aftermath I just love it for her :)
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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blood “loss”? well it’s not lost. i know exactly where it went. right over there.
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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a family portrait, 1878
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crstairs-blog · 1 year ago
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