#its sticking STRAIGHT UP youre telling me its not gonna get chopped off

[highfivecharlie]

[kissorkill16]

A Week Bet: A Lorax Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: The Lorax gives the Onceler a week to sell his Thneed.

The Onceler put his face in his hands and groaned as he just witnessed a bear in his refrigerator eating HIS butter.

"You know what?" said the Onceler, "I got work to do.", The Onceler started changing into his casual wear, completely ignoring that there were animals in his house. "Yup, I gotta go into town and sell my Thneed.", he said proudly, showing his Thneed to the Lorax. "Unless that unleashes the forces of nature too...?"

"Pfft! More like the laugh of nature!"

The Lorax started laughing, and the animals started laughing along with him. "You chopped down one of my trees to make that piece of garbage?", he said in between two hardy laughs. The Onceler just stood there, taking it all in. Of course he would laugh at you, everyone laughs at you. Because no one supports your dreams, not Mom, not Bret or Chett, not Uncle Ubb, not Aunt Grizelda, no one.

But another part of his brain was telling him that he should just convince him it'll change the world, show this furry meatloaf what you've got.

"Garbage? Oh no, oh no, you do not get it. This is a revolutionary product that will change the world as we know it.", he pushed a couple of barbaloots that were sleeping on his table. "It has a million uses.", he excitedly said, even as the Lorax looked less than amused.

"Look at this, it's a swimsuit!"

He picked up a fat barbaloot and dressed him up in the Thneed as if it really was a swimsuit, then he yanked it off him and the barbaloot went and fell on the floor.

"Mud tracked all over your floor by uninvited guests? Well, the Thneed sure comes in handy for that."

He swiped up all of the dirt tracks on the floor, leaving the hummungfish in awe.

"But wait, there's more! Thanks to its all natural microfibers, the Thneed is super absorbent!"

He then proceeded to push his Thneed into a glass of water with a sleeping hummungfish in it, startling him awake.

"It also works as a hat."

He put his Thneed on the Lorax's head, it was all wet, and the Lorax still looked less than amused.

"Of course, you'd probably wanna ring it out first."

"Go ahead, go ahead, knock yourself out!", said the Lorax as he straightened his fur. "But nobody's gonna buy that thing."

That really hit the Onceler straight in the heart, it was like hearing the words of his mother, she always degraded him and said he'll never amount to anything. Words like "failure" and "useless" mocked him, while he was a little hurt, he kept a poker face.

"Then how about a little wager."

The Lorax looked interested in what this beanpole had to say, it sounded a little stupid, but it was a wager. And if he won, the Onceler would leave. What? Just because he made a promise doesn't mean he doesn't still want him gone.

"Alright then, beanpole."

"Okay. If I can sell my Thneed, then I can stay here, and use each and every last Truffula Tree for profit.", the Lorax did NOT like the sound of that, but he kept a stoic expression.

"Fine, kid. I give you a week to sell this Thneed of yours, but if you lose, you leave Truffula Valley and never come back."

"Fine, it's a deal.", the two shook hands, and the Onceler wrapped the Thneed around his neck, then picked up his guitar.

"You're bringing a guitar?", asked the Lorax.

"Oh yeah, I got a little jingle. Gonna blow some minds, gonna sell some Thneeds! Yeah.", and the Onceler was straight out the door.

In the town called Greenville, he was sure he was going to sell his Thneed and make a lot of money, and most importantly, make his family proud. "You ready, Melvin?", he asked his mule, who had a poster saying "Thneeds $3.98" on his back, he looked just as unamused as the Lorax did this morning. "Come on, Melvin, cheer up. It's only gonna be for a week, then you can just stick to riding me to places."

The Onceler grabbed his guitar, patted Melvin on the head, jumped onto the gazebo and called out "Hello, citizens of Greenville!", that really caught the people's attention. Everyone standing there or walking by looked at him, waiting for what he had to say.

"What is the one thing that all people need? Thneeds of course! It can be all you need in just one piece of fabulous cloth, made with real Truffula tufts, and it's butterfly milk scented! The best part, it's super cheap! Only $3.98, and a song to go along with it."

This was it, people were going to start lining up, ready to buy his Thneed, and he would make a lot of money, enough to make his family proud. He started singing.

"Everybody needs a Thneed, a fine thing that all people-"

A tomato came flying at his face, and he saw that nobody was lining up, instead, they were pointing and laughing at him.

"There's no way something can do everything!"

"What're you trying to pull?"

"This is the absolute dumbest con I've ever seen in my entire life!"

The Onceler didn't expect this to happen, he imagined Greenville was a place with nice people, instead they were just as bad as his family. Before they could throw more tomatoes or laugh at him more, he grabbed Melvin by the reigns and led him away. Melvin looked up at him with worried eyes.

"What're you worried about, Melvin? I've still got 6 days left, it's not over yet."

Back at his cottage, he cleaned himself up, and sat down on his bed, trying to come up with a better way to convince the people to buy his Thneed.

"I see you haven't sold your Thneed yet?"

He was startled out of his thoughts when he heard the Lorax's voice, and he rolled his eyes at him.

"Look, Moustache, sometimes you don't get it right the first time. I've still got 6 days left, so don't go celebrating yet."

The next day, the Onceler was more determined than ever, he came up with a new song, convinced it'll please the people enough to buy his Thneed.

"Citizens of Greenville, yesterday was a bit floozy, but today, I intend to gather your attention and one of you will be the lucky customers to buy my Thneed."

The Onceler started singing in a soothing voice.

"Everybody needs a Thneed, a fine thing that all people need ~🎵 The Thneed is good, the Thneed is great- HEY!"

Before he could even finish the song, a little girl grabbed his guitar, and smashed it onto one of the pillars of the gazebo. This little girl broke his guitar, one of the few things that made him happy, it was now broken in two. And before he could start yelling at her or start crying, a tomato came flying at him and decked him in the back.

Just like yesterday, people laughed at him and threw tomatoes at him, and even worse, they broke his guitar.

Back at his cottage, he tried fixing his guitar, wrapping a whole lot of tape on where the broken spot was. A voice startled him out of his thoughts.

"I see you still haven't sold your Thneed yet? What's taking so long, beanpole?"

"Shut up, you furry meatloaf! I just haven't caught the people's attention yet, and I still have 5 days left, so take your furry orange butt on somewhere!"

"Okay, beanpole. I know it's been a long day for you, I'll leave."

And so he did, leaving the Onceler to his thoughts.

The next day, the Onceler didn't bring his guitar, he just had his Thneed wrapped around his neck and his head held high. "Alright, Greenville. Today, I bring no guitar, so no songs. But I still bring a lot of confidence, and I promise you, I'll keep coming back to this very gazebo until someone buys my revolutionary product, my Thneed."

With that, he yanked the Thneed from off his neck, and started demonstrating all of the wonderful things the Thneed could do.

"It's a shirt, it's a sock, it's a glove, it's a hat! But it has other uses, yes, far beyond that! You can use it for carpets, for pillows, for sheets, for curtains and hard covers for bicycle seats! And all of this for the low, low price of $3.98-"

Just like yesterday and the day before, a tomato came flying at him, hitting him in the back of his head. Not just one, but two, then three, then four.

"Filthy con artist!"

"Get outta here!"

"Revolutionary product my ass!"

Before more tomatoes came flying at him, he ran off, Melvin running along with him.

Back at his cottage, the Onceler showered and washed his clothes, not wanting the tomato stains on his shirt as a reminder of what a failure he was, and then that Lorax once again startled him out of his thoughts.

"No sales again, beanpole? Wow, this is getting funnier by the day."

"4 days, Moustache! I still have 4 days left, so leave! I have a Thneed to sell."

The Lorax left, mumbling a last "Yeah yeah, beanpole. I'll believe it when I see it.", that furry meatloaf could be so damn cocky sometimes.

The next day, the Onceler brought his guitar, determined to get the people's attention, sell his Thneed, prove the Lorax wrong, and make his family proud. But before he could start singing, a tomato came flying at him, hitting him in the stomach.

"Woah, people! Please, I haven't even started yet!"

"Good, don't!"

5 more tomatoes came flying at him, hitting him in his face, his stomach, his arm, his knees, and the back of his head.

"Just give up already, skinny!"

"Loser!"

"You're embarrassing yourself, stop it"

"ENOUGH!"

A girl stood in front of him, she was short and plus sized, but her voice was demanding. "At least he's trying, you uncivilized jerks!", she yelled, and the people walked away.

"Thank you so much, miss..."

"Norma Wiggins."

"Norma. That's a nice name."

"And who might I ask are you?"

"Onceler."

"Nice to meet you, Onceler."

This woman was a lot more kind than the whole city of Greenville combined, despite being short and plus sized for her age.

"Why are you trying so hard to sell this Thneed of yours?"

"Well obviously to make money."

"Hmmm..."

Norma studied the Onceler for a while, believing it was something more than money that made this man so determined.

"What?"

"Is there something more than that?"

"No. ...Why?"

"I'm good at reading people's intentions, there's something else that keeps you going."

The Onceler knew he shouldn't be opening up to a stranger, but he really wanted to get this off his chest. "I want to make my family proud, I was always told I would never amount to anything, so I want to show them that I will."

Norma got so sad when she heard that, she had no idea why someone who went through all of that kept his head held high. "Well, I hope you sell it soon.", she said before she left.

Back at his cottage, Norma's words kept repeating in his head, someone actually praised him. No one had ever praised him before, so it just felt weird to him, like he had butterflies in his stomach. The Lorax's voice startled him out of his thoughts once again.

"Hey, beanpole-"

The Onceler shoved him out of his house and said "3 days, Moustache, it's not over yet!", he flopped back down on his bed and drifted to sleep. When he woke up, he was at a loss for words when all of the animals were sleeping on top of him, all snuggled up against him. Pipsqueak woke up and when he saw that his friend was awake, he snuggled up closer to him like a cat or dog. It was absolutely adorable.

But the Onceler didn't have time to be in awe at this, he had a Thneed to sell and a family to make proud.

Again, he didn't sell his Thneed, not today, not tomorrow, not yesterday, not the day before that or the day before that. Today was the last day to sell this stupid Thneed, and just as him and Melvin were leaving, the Lorax startled him out of his thoughts.

"Beanpole, listen-"

At this, the Onceler just snapped.

"No, Moustache, you listen! I will sell this Thneed, I will prove you wrong, and I don't want to hear another word from you saying I can't. I WILL GET THIS RIGHT!"

And then he left.

In the city of Greenville, it was just like he expected, people crowding the gazebo, ready to throw their tomatoes.

"Listen, citizens of Greenville. I know it's been almost a week since I started trying to sell this Thneed, but I assure you, that if you just listen to me, I will grasp your attention, and I will sell this Thneed."

And fortunately, he was lucky enough, the people lowered their tomatoes, and started to listen. And the Onceler started playing his guitar and singing.

Everybody needs a Thneed

A fine thing that all people need

The Thneed is good, the Thneed is great

And it's just $3.98

Everybody needs a Thneed

It's revolutionary guaranteed

The Thneed is new, the Thneed is nice

And did you see that price

Since the glorious dawn of man

There's never been a thing to do what this thing can

So listen carefully

To all the wonderous things a Thneed can be

It's a sock, it's a suit

Boxing glove, parachute

A butterfly net, reusable diaper

An exercise pad, a runny nose wiper

A slingshot, a muzzle, a jump rope, a hat

The colorful sweater you put on your cat

Nothing else in this world can do that

Old or young, tall or short, thin or fat

REPUBLICAN, INDEPENDENT, LIBERTARIAN, or Democrat

Not even with that song, people were interested, because an onslaught of tomatoes came flying at him, hitting him all over his body. Some jerks even decided to throw rocks at him.

"You know what we need? For you to stop!"

"Yeah, you suck!"

"Yeah!"

The Onceler became numb, he could barely feel all of the tomatoes hitting him anymore. Mom was right, you'll never amount to anything. You're useless, you're a failure. Just ask all of these people throwing tomatoes at you. He stood up, took Melvin by the reigns, and walked away, trying to fight away the tears that were about to fall from his eyes. He stopped at a nearby trash can, yanked his Thneed off his neck, and stared at it for a while.

"My family was right, I quit."

And he threw it in the trash.

Back at his cottage, he started packing up all of his belongings, as fast as he could, he just wanted to get out of here as soon as possible. His stupid irrational sense of optimism got him into this mess, he should've been more hesitant, he should've never made a wager with the Lorax, now he had to go back home empty-handed. He didn't even bother to take his house down, the animals could use it now. A voice startled him out of his thoughts.

"Beanpole, where are you going-"

"In case you're wondering, no, I didn't sell the Thneed. I threw it in the trash, and you wanna know why? BECAUSE IT'S GARBAGE, IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING THAT I'VE EVER MADE!"

That yell caught the animals attention, and they all gathered around the man, wondering why he was packing up.

"So whoop-de-do, you were right, I was wrong!", he yelled at the Lorax, he grabbed Melvin by the reigns, "You win, I'm leaving.", he started connecting Melvin to his wagon, when he felt something on his leg. It was Pipsqueak, looking up at him with eyes that begged him not to leave.

"I'm sorry, little guy, but the Lorax and I made a deal, he wanted me to leave.", but Pipsqueak still wouldn't let go, instead he held on, still looking at him with those big eyes. The Onceler almost gave in, but he didn't, instead he shook his leg until Pipsqueak got all dizzy and pulled him off. Now he could finally leave. "Come on, Melvin.", he said to his mule, but he was startled when he saw Melvin sitting down with his hooves crossed. He also had a stubborn expression.

"Melvin, get over here right now.", the Onceler said with a warning voice, but Melvin shook his head. The Onceler ran out of patience, instead of arguing with his mule, he simply let go of the reigns and said "Fine. You know what? I don't need you. I can do this by myself.", he started pulling his wagon and walking away, "Goodbye, nice knowing you."

The wagon was, without a doubt, heavy. But despite that, he still kept pulling, singing a pick-me-up song.

Nobody needs a Thneed

A stupid thing no one will ever need

The Thneed is dumb, the Thneed is lame

Who's the idiot who came up with that name

Oh right, that was me

Okay, maybe it wasn't a pick-me-up song, but it kept him going.

The wagon got heavier when he got to steeper hills, but he didn't care. He didn't care if he was sweating, didn't care about how heavy it was, didn't care if he felt lightheaded, he just wanted to leave this stupid place. "Stupid mule.", he grumbled, he didn't understand why Melvin decided to stay even though him and the Lorax made a deal, "Stupid wagon.", he grumbled as he went up a steeper hill, having to push his wagon from behind. "Ah...stupid...", he didn't have enough breath to finish his sentence, he dropped to his knees and passed out on the ground.

The Onceler woke up to a blanket being wrapped around him, and Pipsqueak cuddling up to him. In fact, all of the animals were in his cottage, circling his bed, as if they were waiting for him to wake up. When they saw he was awake, they all started jumping and cheering, but the Onceler was still so confused.

"I don't get it."

"Hey, beanpole."

He turned to see the Lorax, sitting on Melvin's back.

"Did you bring me back here?", asked the Onceler, the Lorax only nodded, but that was enough to answer his question.

"Since you've started trying to sell your Thneed, the animals came to me, saying they didn't want you to leave. They've grown attached to you ever since the whole river incident."

The animals nodded, and the Onceler still didn't say anything, his mouth was hanging open, but he didn't speak. "But I thought we made...I thought you said-"

"Well I changed my mind, beanpole. I may be the guardian of the forest, in charge of every living thing, but my opinion isn't the only one that matters here. The animals want you to stay, so I guess I'll let you stay."

That really made the Onceler tear up, everyone was accepting him, not laughing at him, or shunning him. Even the Lorax, who hated him the moment he saw him, was willing to let him stay just so the animals would be happy. "Okay, I'll stay. And I promise you this time, I won't chop down anymore trees."

"And I'm still gonna keep an eye on you."

"Yeah yeah, I know."

Pipsqueak cuddled closer to the man, happy that his new friend was staying.

[wrong-way-sir]

Your boyfriend Shuuji Hanma isn't a man of comforting words and tends to come off as cold or uncaring but when it matters most you can always count on him to calm your worries no matter how trivial the subject might seem.

Requested by: @dabisfireflower

CW: GN Y/N, Aged!Up Hanma, Possible Tokyo Revenger spoilers, Light Angst, Curse Words, a little bit of an argument, Hanma isn't good with words, Mentions of Smoking, Fluff, and little to no proofreading! ♡

1.9k Words

1:50 P.M.

Your eyes stared at the analog clock that hung over the TV in your apartment living room. The feeling hadn't come back to your fingers, you felt like you had pin-needles digging into your thighs, and the only feeling present was the tingling of your face. Your fingers twisted the end of your hair as anxiety ran through you while you waited for the handles of the clock to reach 2:30 P.M.

You had to leave at 2:30 P.M. to arrive at the salon at 3 o'clock. Your body refused to remove itself from the couch until then. To be honest you don't know if you would even be able to walk with how your anxiety was treating you. Why did you even make the damn appointment? You thought to yourself as you pulled on the end of your hair hard enough to ache slightly and pull you out of the spiral of thoughts.

As trivial as it sounded the thought of chopping off your hair at the salon filled you with dread. You had spent so many years growing it out but to your dismay it hadn't had been for the better. You had realized only a few days ago while trying to dye it with box dye how bad your hair's state was, all the dye, the heat, the different products had left you hair beyond repair.

Scheduling a haircut hadn't been your original idea. It had been your boyfriend's. He had thrown it out nonchalantly and the moment it left his lips your heart picked up its pace. Shuuji didn't know about this anxiety, nor would he care about it if you told him so you had done as he suggested and scheduled a haircut.

"I'm coming in, it's Shuuji."

Your head shot to the door of your apartment where Shuuji was kicking off his shoes as he fumbled with his jacket. A half smoked cigarette hung from his lips, unlit. A deep breath escaped you and your hand that had been twisting the dead ends of your hair dropped to your thighs.

"Hey Princess," Shuuji smiled as he made his way towards you on the couch. You watched as he removed unlit stick from his mouth and he leaned down to place a kiss to your forehead before he fell onto the couch next to you, "You miss me? Of course you did." He giggled as he kicked his feet up onto the coffee table.

A smiled placed itself on your features at the soft kiss coming from your boyfriend. It had relieved a small tension you had in your shoulders as Shuuji sat next to you. You were more than happy to see him. He would help you get your mind off your hair for the next 30 minutes.

"Shuuji get your feet off the table!" You protested as you smacked his thigh. He rolled his eyes as he removed his feet and placed them back on the carpet, "Why are you here? I thought you were busy today with Kisaki and the rest?" You asked as you sunk back into your old couch as Shuuji shrugged.

"Like I give a shit about those guys," Shuuji said and you sighed, "Only guy I even remotely care for is Kisaki and even then he's a bit much. Plus he said he had someone else to fuck Toman's plans up, gave me the day off, so I thought I would come see my baby."

You shook your head in disbelief, you knew your boyfriend was involved with the gang life but you hadn't minded it all that much as long as he didn't show up with a bullet wound on your door step or in a body bag. Although you had to admit, him working for that weirdo Kisaki made you uncomfortable but for Shuuji you shook it off.

"Well, thank Kisaki for me next time. Now you can get my mind off things until I leave." You smiled and he hummed in agreement before his features turned into confusion with a head tilt.

"Eh? Where are you going, work?" He asked and you rolled your eyes, of course your boyfriend hadn't remembered about your hair appointment even when you had to repeat yourself for a week straight. Sometimes you wondered if Shuuji ever thought of anything besides his own plans.

"Shuuji, I told you so many times, I'm getting my hair cut today."

"Oh yeah, I forgot... Why do you need to get your mind off of that it's just a stupid haircut." Shuuji said as he stretched out more on your couch, his head falling back onto the back of it.

You pursed your lips into a tight line as you looked over at your boyfriend relaxing. Your eyes fell to your fingers as they picked at your cuticles from the anxiety growing again at the way Shuuji had blown off your feelings.

"It's not just a stupid haircut, Shuuji..." You mumbled and you felt his gaze turn to you, "I've grown it out for so long... I'm chopping of so much of it, I'm scared."

Your eyes looked back over to Shuuji who looked back with a unfazed expression. His eyes traveled to your hair and he gave a hum as his head fell back once again and you gave a defeated sigh.

"You need it though, you hair's all frizzy and dead.... Looks like shit anyways who cares if you chop it off?" He chuckled and you whipped your head towards him with a look of disbelief and annoyance on your face.

"I do, Shuuji!" You said almost a little too loudly. It caused him to flinch as his head shot up to connect eyes with you, a mumbled apology left your lips as you turned to the coffee table in front of you that your boyfriend had previously put his feet on. "What if short hair looks ugly on me or what if it takes too long to grow back? I'll be stuck looking like an idiot. Not to mention I've never been to the hairdresser I scheduled with and I'm also terrified you're not gonna like it so yeah, I care, okay?"

Silence fell and your eyes didn't leave your clenched fists. Worry started to set in again as you two sat next to each other. You already felt idiotic for being so nervous and the fact you had gotten so defensive with your boyfriend of your dried and damaged hair only added to the internal humiliation.

You could feel your boyfriend's gaze on the side of your face as you stared at your hands. Another apology was bubbling up in your throat but as you went to turn to him you saw his tattooed hand take yours. Shuuji rested his chin on your shoulder as he grasped your hand. His shallow breath tickled your face.

"Shuuji-"

"It's just a haircut, babe." Shuuji said softly and you sighed for the umpteenth time while letting out a panicked chuff, "You'll figure a way to look good with it no matter how short. Hey, and if it really does look that bad then I'll just shave my head that way we can both be ugly. We'll be that hot ugly couple."

A laugh replaced the bubble in your throat as you imagined your boyfriend bald. Shuuji chuckled with you as his chin continued to rest on your shoulder. The laughter grew with each image that popped into your mind and you boyfriend laughed with you because he had made you. Soon enough you were both giggling like children on your couch with the anxiety you once had gone.

A few more chuckles escaped you and you let your free hand swipe under your eye as you felt them watering. You cleared your throat and shook your head, your tangled hair falling in your face. You paused as you felt Shuuji's fingers take the hair and put it behind you ear. You turned to him to see a wide smile on his face and leaned into his hand as it cupped your face. His eyes scanned your features and he let out a sigh as he dropped his hand.

"Nah, I couldn't do that. Then I really would be the ugly one in the relationship." He laughed as he fell back to the couch and let out at grunt when your free hand collided with his side.

"Shut up, you're not ugly, you always look good." You mumbled and dropped your chin into your propped up hand.

"So do you! I don't know why you're so nervous, it's just hair it grows back but if you're really that nervous about it... I can go with you, keep your stylist in line make sure they know if they fuck up I'll be waiting for them outside."

A laugh left you once again as you shook your head fondly at your boyfriend's threat. You smiled at his offer and your felt yourself relax at the thought of Shuuji be near you during the haircut. You honestly didn't think you would be able to do it alone.

"Really, you'll go with me?" You asked as you hoped he hadn't been joking like he always did.

Shuuji gave a nod and let his eyes glance at the clock that hung over the TV. He gave a sigh and pushed himself up, yanking his hand from your in the process. You frowned at the loss of warmth and looked up just as he bent down to place a kiss to your lips.

"Alright baby, let's go, I brought my bike." Shuuji said as walked away from your sitting form and to the door to slip his jacket and boots back on.

Your eyes glanced at the clock once again to see how much time had passed. You bit the inside of your cheek as you stared at the clock that was telling you it was time to leave and get this whole ordeal over with. You pushed your hair back as if you were also pushing you anxiousness to the back of your head before you turned to your boyfriend who was slipping on his gang jacket.

A smile returned to your face as you watched him. You were thankful to have him in your life for little things like this. Despite his personality and the way he spoke you knew your boyfriend cared just as much as you did. You also knew he would try to fix anything for you and make you laugh even if the threat of violence was followed. You loved him for that, you loved that he cared for you the way you did for him.

"Shuuji," You called to him and he looked over you as he finished putting on his jacket with a soft hum. "Thank you, I love you."

"Who wouldn't love me, I'm great." He gave you a devious smirk along with an arch of his eyebrow as he puffed out his jacket collar and you rolled your eyes as you reached back to grab a pillow from the couch to through it at him. To your dismay he caught it and chuckled, "Kidding, you know I love you baby. Now come on, I like it when you hold on to me while we ride."

You watched as your boyfriend jangled his motorcycle key and you shook your head with a laugh as you pushed yourself from the couch to follow him out the door.

[59writes]

SEVENTEEN- REACTION: THEIR S/O GETS INJURED (PT. 1)

written for the lovely @honeyylin

again, thank u for being my first request, I will love u eternally (:

I might do the other version still, idk yet!!! but I hope this is satisfactory!!!

(also shout out to my phone for autocorrecting “finally” to “fistula” I hate it here lol)

tw: food, injury

SEUNGCHEOL

• Homeboy would do his damn best to stay focused on whatever task at hand!!!

• he knows you’re a responsible person and you reassured him on the phone that you’re completely fine, but he’s still got the jitters

• but after he zones out for the third time in a row, Jihoon kicks him out of the studio and tells him to go home

• “you’ll do better there, hyung.”

• “But… the songs-“

• “you’re not exactly contributing right now. go home.”

• and so he does, fidgeting the whole way back

• his anxiety is truly at a peak as he reaches the apartment door, practically chewing through his lip as he fumbles with the keys

• he calls your name the second the door swings open

• “y/n?”

• your head pops up from the couch, tired but grinning wildly. “Cheol!”

• the next thing you know he’s wrapping you in a hug, tension finally leaving him

• “I thought you were at the studio.” You frown when he finally moves away.

• “Jihoon made me leave.” He pouts, sitting down on the floor, eyes even with your leg, which is propped up on a chair. “I was too… out of it?”

• “Aw. I’m really okay, Cheol.” You assure again, reaching down to grab his hand, giving it a squeeze.

• “I know, I know. Just… worried.”

• It’s very clear he’s trying not to make a fuss and ask a million questions about the state of your existence, so you pat the couch next to you.

• “C’mon, we’ve got the day off now. Do you wanna finish the show?”

• His face reluctantly breaks into a grin, hopping up to join you on the couch

• and both of you forget about the pains for a little while as you lose yourself in the screen

• it’s peaceful and warm, and finally, you both get a chance to slow down

• maybe you should get injured more often (/j)

JEONGHAN

• he trusts that you’re completely fine, but he does not trust that you won’t somehow hurt yourself again

• he will babyproof the house for the next few days

• “nope, you’re not allowed to chop vegetables. give me the celery.”

• “hey! let me get that, idiot, you’re hurt.”

• “I don’t care. If you want the cat then text me and I’ll get her for you.”

• just generally being a nuisance, you know how it is

• but still, in his babyproofing he does make sure you take your pain meds on time, setting a little alarm on his phone so he can wake you up with a glass of water and your pills

• he also doordashes you your favorite food without announcing like he just says “Steve is on his way with food” and you have to just ponder who Steve is until some guy knocks on your door

• “he paid me extra to say that you’re the love of his life, so…”

• “let’s not and say we did.”

• he always makes sure to order something sweet too (:

• but yeah he’s doing work around the house and forcing you to stay in bed

• tbh it’s like having a very bossy butler lol

• but hey, at least he’s actually doing his own laundry for once!

JOSHUA

• oh my god he drops everything when he gets your text

• it’s literally just “hey josh can I get some help? I hurt myself moving some furniture” and this man goes feral

• you know how someone is so anxious that their brain shuts off and they’re scarily calm??? Joshua.

• he’s at your house in like, five minutes

• and tbh you just wanted him to finish moving the bookshelf so you didn’t have to

• but now he’s gently scolding you while wiping dirt and blood from your leg

• it’s not even that big of a cut but he’s treating it like open heart surgery

• like his hands are so gentle…

• of course he moves the bookshelf after a little more scolding before like,,, making soup like this man would definitely make soup

• like it’s just an annoying cut that’s gonna leave a bruise and this man is making some chicken noodle in the next room over like you’re dying of pneumonia

• it’s some good ass soup tho (:

JUN

• he would not know what to do tbh but he would be excellent company while you waited to heal

• he’d definitely be very panicky but would hide it as best he could!! cuz you’re the top priority!!!

• he’d lurk and when you get up he’d be like “do you need anything? aspirin? food?” and you’re just like “Jun I’m good I just need to go to the bathroom”

• he definitely knows exactly what you like, and does his best to do things like keep your favorite show on, or make you tea.

• (even when you assure him that you’re fine)

• his help is very random and antsy but still excellent lol

• and the fact that he’s constantly here to help really proves how much he cares about you and your health (:

HOSHI

• oh god, this man

• he’d be all over the place

• overreacting and then scolding and then just zoning out and then he falls asleep smh.

• this man would get out a chainsaw and ask which door you stubbed your toe on so he can destroy it lol

• but alas, no chainsaw is around (thank goodness)

• and so Soonyoung just gets to blame everything else while you’re replacing bandages or whatever

• like, he’s going on about how “just because they have safety stickers on ladders doesn’t mean they’re safe!!” and you’ll hold out your hand for gauze and he’d instinctively just grab it and put it in your hand even though he’s on a bit of a rampage

• he also most definitely is the kind to get a stuffed animal for when you’re hurt lol like every time you get sick or injured badly he gets you a bear that says “get well soon” on its stomach or on the heart it holds in its hands and eventually you just have a pile of creatures encouraging you to be healthy

WONWOO

• this man is just. excellent

• he’s caring without being demeaning, and is just so so so helpful

• he comes home and sees your arm bandaged up and just asks what happened

• and you tell him the story and he tries to hide his smile when he hears about your dumb mistake

• but still he’s patient and willing to help!!

• it’s like he could read your mind on what you needed and would just materialize behind you with a drink or an aspirin or something

• and he’d stay in the room with you whenever he could, reading or texting silently

• it was nice having such a caring presence next to you, even if he didn’t chat much

• I mean, the quiet helped you nap more easily too

• and somehow whenever you woke up, he was still there, keeping an eye on you

• if he had to leave for whatever reason he’d gently wake you up to let you know he was headed out and to call him if you need anything

• he makes the healing process peaceful (:

WOOZI

• when he hears the news he’s just. suddenly very very quiet

• like this man is out of it.

• he brushes off the others when they ask what happened, and makes it through the day fairly uneventfully

• when he gets home you almost don’t hear him, only noticing when he shuts the door

• “Jihoon?”

• He beelines straight to you before wrapping you in a huge hug. big tight hug.

• definitely swaying back and forth a little <3

• but you’re just like “woah ok bud what’s up with you”

• and one look at his face says everything

• it’s just been so much: the stress of a comeback, dealing with the managers and the other boys, and then his s/o gets hurt on top of that?

• maybe he needs a break too

• and so you both take one

• I hope you like sleeping lol

• basically you guys take the next few days to recover, just ordering food up and watching shows in silence before falling asleep together on the couch or even the floor once (hey the rug is soft!!!)

• and one day you wake up to find your injury no longer aching

• and the bed is empty next to you

• so you get up and peer down the hallway

• and Jihoon is in the kitchen, playing soft classical music while cutting vegetables

• he notices as you approach, silently offering you a carrot stick

• “I see you’re feeling better too?”

• he nods.

• you both spend the rest of the morning waking up again, cleaning the house and making food, Jihoon’s energy and personality slowly coming back too

• maybe your break wasn’t as much of him taking care of you, but you taking care of each other

• almost as if you’re tied together somehow, your ups and downs mutual

• either way, after that you’re both a lot more aware of the balance and way of recovery you two have

• and you can predict things in advance for next time!

[harrysgloves]

Here Comes The Sun

word count: 3.3k

story summary: After dating for 2 years, Harry finally convinces you to move in with him. Only to find out the person he loves most in this world suffers from depression.

warnings: Language // Mentions of depression, anxiety, insomnia, and everything else that goes along with that fucking terrible disease. // Fluff because I really needed it.

a/n: 100% needed this pick me up short story right now. The depression is real. Always remember to reach out for help if the load of your own depression/ anxiety/ insomnia/ mental illness gets too heavy for you to carry on your own. We all need help some times.

>>><<<

Things in your life had been going so well. Everything seemed to be fitting together so nicely like it was meant to be this way. That, honestly, should have been your first sign that a storm was just around the corner.

You'd finally agreed to move in with your boyfriend of two years after months of him begging and pleading with you.

"Come on, love. It'll save money." He said trying to be all sneaky, saying that was the only reason why he wanted you to move it.

"It jus' makes sense. Y'know ecologically. Less travelin' back and forth. Really, do it fo' the trees, love." He tried another time.

"Harry, if you care about saving trees buy a Kindle." You said as you laid down your own eReader to gestured to the book laying on his chest.

"Y'know how I feel 'bout those… things." He said with a wave of his hand before picking up his apparently superior "real" book. The sour look on his face made the side of your lip curl upwards letting out a hum as you picked up your tablet again.

"Well, when you get a tablet we'll talk about it." You said, smiling as you picked up where you left off in your book. Thinking you'd won the fight, there was no way he'd ever give up his love for turning pages for a digital reader.

You were very, very, wrong.

The next week you two hung out at his flat, cuddled up on the couch as usual. Your head laying in his lap as you tuned out whatever nonsense was on tv and scrolled mindlessly through news articles on your phone.

You only looked up when Harry moved his hand off your arm. Your eyes peered up at the smug bastard casually pulling out his new Kindle. The color draining from your face as he sat there with that infuriating cheeky grin.

"Anything we need to talk about, sweetheart?" He asked, eyes still on the screen of his tablet, that dimple popping out as he grinned.

"Oh, don't you sweetheart me!" You sat up abruptly beside him. The smile never leaving his face as he laid down his tablet on the coffee table.

"Why not, lovie? Something wrong?" He cooed, moving closer to you on the couch as you rolled your eyes at him.

"When did you get that?" You asked, gesturing to the piece of technology you swore he'd never EVER own.

"Two hours after y'left last week." His arms wrapped around you pulling you into his chest as you stared at him.

The cheeky jerk always tried to get what he wanted.

"H." You said, shaking your head at him.

"Jus' move in with me! Promise I'll pick up my socks and everythin'." He pouted his head laying on your shoulder until you pulled back slightly from him.

"Okay, I know that's a lie." You rolled your eyes, laying your head on his chest.

It wasn't that you didn't want to move in with him. You really did. You loved the guy. Even if he told the world's worst jokes and he hated your intense love of bad, corny, movies.

You considered him not just your boyfriend but one of your best friends. Not your absolute best friend because that bitch would murder Harry if he ever took her spot but he was close.

The only problem?

You'd managed to hide the fact you were diagnosed with depression for years. Any time any of your bouts of sadness seemed to hit he was conveniently out of town. By the time he came back they were close enough to being over that you could push through it. Pretend to be happy.

That's what you did best. Almost all the people in your life had no idea you struggled with a mental illness. That you had depression that fueled your anxiety which made your insomnia unbearable… which only made the depression worse.

It was a constant vicious cycle of depression, anxiety, and insomnia that you didn't want him to see. You liked being the person who made everyone laugh and have a great time.

You liked being the life of the party. Liked having fun and being adventurous but something in you would flip like a switch and suddenly you wouldn't be the same person anymore.

You'd spend days in bed, hardly moving, finding reasons to do your office job that you loved at home. You didn't see many people, blowing off your friends with excuses of being busy with work when really you were curled up in a ball in your bed staring at your bedroom wall, overthinking everything.

"Come on, what's t'big deal? I love ya and obviously y'not waitin' fo' marriage or anythin'." He said, laughing when you hit the jerk in the shoulder with the closest couch pillow.

"'M sorry but it was funny." He said with that annoying but oh so adorable sparkle in his eyes as he leaned his head back on your shoulder, sticking out his bottom lip to pout at you.

"Please move in? Pleeease?" He begged, pleading up to you with those bright green eyes you couldn't say no to.

"Fine but if you stop loving me that's your own fault." You sighed, settling on the fact that you didn't want your depression to hold you back.

If he loved you he would understand.

"Never gonna happen, love." He said leaning over to give you a kiss. Lips intertwining together causing the thoughts of worry to drift slowly from your mind.

>>>

It was only the first week of you two being moved in together when you felt that overwhelming sense of gray starting to edge its way into your mind. It was simple things at first, oversleeping, not feeling hungry, and not feeling up to doing much.

You easily chopped it up to the stress of moving and the adjustment period of getting used to living with someone else other than yourself. Telling yourself that there was no way you could be getting down when you had so much to be happy about.

Your nights after work were filled with nothing but cuddles on your couch. Pressed against Harry's chest as he read you the book you'd both settled on. Your fingers combing through his hair as you listened to every word pouring out of his mouth. Smiling softly as you nuzzled into his neck.

No, there was no way you could feel depressed when you had this to look forward to every night after a long day.

But you were wrong.

>>>

"Sunflower! 'M home!" Harry called out for you when he got back from the studio. A box of donuts in his hands as he shut the door behind him with his foot.

He could tell that you'd been feeling a bit off lately. You'd been sleeping more than you usually did. Complaining about your stomach being sick when he tried to get you to eat. Which never happened because you loved food.

When he rolled out of bed that morning to head to the studio you told him you were doing your office work from home. He thought it was odd since you usually loved going into your office. You'd been there so long that you considered almost everyone your close friend. Of course, you also didn't meet many people who weren't your friend which was one of the reasons Harry loved you in the first place.

You were always so sweet and kind. Going out of your way for people was something you didn't even bat an eye at. Your heart was made of pure gold and he loved seeing your smile light up a room anytime he took you out.

Lately though you'd been refusing to go with him to do things. Saying you had too much work to do. Something he tried to get you to stop doing to yourself. You had a bad habit of doing people's work for them when they gave you a half-assed reason why they couldn't do it.

He couldn't stand to see you work yourself to the point of stressing yourself out. Which is what he figured you were going through right now.

"Love?" He called for you again when you didn't respond. Throwing his keys and bag on the table haphazardly like he knew you hated but was slowly trying to break the habit of doing every day.

His eyebrows furrowed as he toed off his shoes. You usually came bolting down the hallway the second you heard his keys hit the kitchen table, telling him off for not putting them in the key bowl sitting by the front door. Something he didn't quite understand since you two usually ate in the living room and didn't even use the kitchen table unless people were over.

He walked through the quiet and dark house straight to the study. The door to the room jammed packed with his books creaked open revealing no one in there. Not even your laptop was in the room and nothing was out of place. It didn't even look like you'd been in there that day.

He closed the door behind him as he headed for the bedroom. He wasn't sure why you'd been in there since you said you had so much work to do and you were very adamant on no work being done in the bedroom. Saying it was only a place for sleep and sex.

When he finally got to your two's bedroom though he was surprised to find you curled up in a ball, buried under the thick comforter, asleep. Your hands gripping on the blankets as you huddled for warmth. Your easy breathing rising your chest gently up and down as you snoozed away peacefully.

A small smile formed on Harry's lips as he watched you for a second. This was exactly why he wanted you to move in, he loved seeing you already there when he got home. Even if you were asleep.

He placed the box of donuts on the bedside table before crawling into bed with you. The decompression of the mattress caused your eyes to flicker open as he laid behind you. His arm draped over your side as he pulled you closer to him.

"Mornin', love." He kissed your temple as you groaned in protest, not wanting to wake up since day time seemed to be the only time you could sleep anymore.

"Five more minutes." You mumbled, glaring at Harry when you heard him let out a small laugh.

"It's six in the evenin'. Y'won't sleep tonight if y'don't get up, baby." He said while his hand rubbed gently up and down your arm. The calluses on his fingertips scratched you slightly as you pulled away from him burying your face in the pillow.

"I'm sleepy." You complained, the pillow in your face muffling your voice.

"Y'never this sleepy." He said, pulling back from you slightly, brows furrowed in concern.

"I know. Just don't feel good." You shrugged as you rolled off the pillow to face him. You really should have told him then but the thought of him seeing you in a different light was terrifying. Logically, you knew he wouldn't judge you but the thought still loomed in your mind.

"Y'fevered?" He asked, touching your forehead with the back of his hand.

"No, nothing like that. Just tired." You sighed, wishing you weren't so much of a coward. Your teeth biting your bottom lip as your eyes darted away from his stare.

"Brought y'donuts. Those are always y'favorite." He said, hoping that would get you out of bed.

"Not hungry H. Wanna go back to sleep." You said, turning away from him again. You were so tired, your nights filled with nothing but restlessness and racing thoughts that somehow only subsided during the day.

"Y'stomach sick?" He asked, as he laid back down beside you. He wasn't sure what was going on with you but he could tell something was definitely wrong.

"Kind of." You said, Harry's mind racing with all the possibilities of what was going on with you.

Did anyone you know have the stomach flu? He didn't think so or at least you hadn't mentioned anything about it. Maybe it was the real flu he though but it wasn't the season for the flu and you'd be burning up if you had that. It could have been a common cold but you weren't sneezing or coughing.

His mind slowly started to piece things together for him. His eyes widening in realization before a small smile curled on his lips. He hugged you before pressing a kiss on your forehead.

You'd definitely needed all the sleep you could get if he was right.

"Alright, get some rest, darlin'. I'll come to get y'later." He smiled, turning to look at you with a weird glint in his eyes. "Love you."

"Love you too." You said, not sure what the hell had just happened but was glad he decided to leave you to your much-needed nap.

>>>

"I'll carry that." Harry said as he ripped the box from your hands. It had been the third time that day that he took boxes out of your hands that he deemed too heavy for you to carry out of your car from your storage building.

"H, why are you being so weird?" You sighed, rubbing your forehead, he'd been like this for weeks. His constant hovering was starting to become unbearably draining.

"'M not, don't want y'carryin' heavy stuff, that's all." He shrugged as he carried your box of photos to the attic as you plopped down on the couch.

It wasn't like he was going to let you unload your car yourself. He was already worked up about you clearing out your storage building yourself but it wasn't like you could keep things in there anymore. The rent had recently raised and really it was ridiculous for you to pay for a storage building when yours and Harry's place had an attic for storage.

"You should eat." Harry said sometime later in the evening when he had finished unloading your car for you.

"Not hungry." You replied, sitting up from the couch to stretch, your back cracking from how long you'd been sitting there not moving.

"Flower, please eat." He begged, his voice pleading with you as he sat down on the couch next to you.

"Harry, why is it a big deal?" You asked, turning to face him but you could tell he had suddenly gotten uncomfortable. You sighed, hands covering your face as you rubbed your eyes.

"You've been hovering over me for the past two weeks. What's going on with you?" You finally asked, hoping whatever it was could end quickly. You didn't have the energy to deal with everyday stuff let alone anything else.

"It's jus' y'know…" he mumbled, ears tinting pink as his eyes darted away from you. His hands fiddling with his rings as you raised an eyebrow at him.

"I don't know. Can you please tell me and start acting normal again?"

"'Ave you had your period this month?" He asked quickly, completely catching you off guard.

"What?" You had no idea what the hell that had to do with anything or why the heck he'd be worried about it.

"Y'know, y'period, 'ave y'had it?" He asked again, your forehead crinkling as you thought about it.

You hadn't had it yet but it was only one day late, which is completely normal for you when your stressed out from depression and not sleeping much. Your body liked to freak out on you when your emotional state wasn't the best.

"No?"

"And y'not eatin' and sick to y'stomach. Right?" He still looked anxious as he continued to question you. While you grew more and more confused by the second.

"Uhm, yes?"

At this point, you felt whatever his train of thought had been at the start of this conversation had completely gone off the rails. He wasn't making any sense whatsoever to you anymore. He might as well start speaking to you in a different language if he wanted to be this confusing.

"And y'tired and sleepin' all the time."

"Okay, what does that have to do with you acting funny?" You asked when you had finally had enough of his crazy questions.

"Y'pregnant." He said with a bright smile on his face that quickly faltered the second you busted out laughing at him. Your hand quickly covering your mouth when you realized he was now the confused one.

"Harry. I'm not pregnant." You said once you had finally calmed down enough to talk to him again.

"Y'are! That's why y'been so different lately." He said so passionately you almost felt bad for not being pregnant. The poor guy looked like you'd kicked his dog.

"H, I have depression." You said, finally telling him the truth about why you'd been acting so different.

His eyes flickered around your face then towards your stomach. The wheels in his mind turning as he realized all the signs he had misread.

"Why didn't y'tell me?" He asked quietly. The look on his face filling you with guilt.

"'Cause I don't like talking about it." You said, wanting to leave it there but you knew you owed him more of an explanation than that. Sighing as you reached out to hold his hand, your fingers absent-mindedly running across his rings as you tried to build the courage to talk about it so more.

"I get all weird and down. I don't like being like that so I don't bring it up a lot." You said finally breaking the silence he was giving you to talk freely about what was going on.

"We've been together fo' two years." He said, his fingers lacing through yours to stop your fidgeting.

"Yes, Harry, I'm very aware of how long we've been together." You rolled your eyes at him, a smile on your face until you saw the hurt look on his own.

"Why haven't I seen it before?" He asked, staring away from you and at the living room floor. Your heart sinking as you realized he was starting to blame himself for not seeing the signs.

"They always seemed to hit when you were out of town and before, when I wasn't living with you, it was easy to not show it. Like, I could be okay for a few hours when we hung out and I could go back home and it wasn't a big deal." You explained, pulling his attention back on you as you tried to casually brush off the fact you'd go through hard periods of time completely alone.

"'S a big deal. I wanna be there fo' yeh." He said tongue wetting his lips as you pouted at him. Your head resting on his shoulder, trying your best to be honest.

"That's why I'm telling you now. Sorry, it took me so long to say it. I didn't want you to look at me differently." You sighed, his hand tightening slightly, enough to make you raise your head up to look at him.

"I wouldn't ever look at y'differently, sunflower. I love you." He said, a smile on your face as you leaned forward and kissed him.

Even though you knew deep down that he'd always accept you and not judge you for your depression. Hearing him say the words made everything better.

"I love you too, H." You said when you pulled away from him. Your eyes were unable to stop watering as you looked at him.

"Don't cry, puppy." He said as his thumb brushed away your tears.

"Happy tears." You said through a laugh as you tried to wipe your open face dry of the water. A weight felt lifted off your shoulders knowing he'd always be there for you. Knowing you wouldn't have to carry the burden of depression alone anymore.

[gellavonhamster]

cold weapons

Suicide Squad (2016) || Captain Boomerang/Katana || post-canon

ao3 link eng || this was first written and published on ao3 in Russian in 2017 but I didn't attempt to translate it into English back then.  

“So, what do you think of them?” Colonel Flag asks.

Tatsu puts the folder containing the rap sheet of Waylon Jones, better known as Killer Croc, on top of three other folders.

“They’re complicated,” she replies after giving it some thought.

The materials in these folders could have formed her first impression about the members of Task Force X – or, as Lawton has aptly put it, the Suicide Squad. Could have, but did not, because they were given their first task earlier than expected. Which is why she doesn’t say “villains” or “scoundrels” or “worst team imaginable” – her first impression of them was formed in combat, and then in an empty bar in Midway City where they all drank together thinking it may be the last drink in their lives. She remembers all of this and says ‘complicated’.  

“Very tactful of you,” the colonel chuckles. Then again, what kind of colonel is he now – an unwashed shirt, black circles under the eyes. Just another guy struggling with a deluge of work, a hard-hearted boss, and a troubled relationship with his girlfriend. “But yeah, they definitely aren’t simple,” continues Rick Flag, one of her few friends in the country that will never become her home, and Tatsu cannot suppress a tired smile.  

“You like them.”

“They’re… tolerable,” Rick admits, and takes another sip of coffee. Lately he seems to be living only on coffee and whiskey and the verb “must” and (so Tatsu supposes, although they don’t talk about that) the hope that June Moone, who still hasn’t fully recovered from all the horrors she’s been through, will be all right – and will stop isolating herself and avoiding him. These means for not letting yourself just fall down and never get up are far from being reliable, but Tatsu herself lives mostly on revenge and duty and, for that matter, whiskey as well, to a certain degree, so it’s not for her to judge. “Most of them, at least. All of them minus the Australian.”

“At least he’s a good fighter,” Tatsu points out. This is the only good thing she can say about Captain Boomerang with full confidence.  

“He’s not cut out for teamwork.”

“When we were fighting the Enchantress, it didn’t look to me like that.”

She does not put much meaning into these words. It’s just that at some point Captain Boomerang saved her, and she saved him – and good thing they’re even, because the last thing she needs is to owe a favour to someone so incompatible with the very concept of duty. She could have said much about the man who tried to escape at the very beginning of the mission and got a teammate killed (and for some reason stood up for El Diablo when Harley Quinn lashed out at him at the bar, and for some reason came back before the battle after trying to desert), but the only thing she’s sure of is that he’s a fine weapon; she can confirm that, being a weapon herself. At the end of the day, that is all that’s required from him.      

At the end of the day, that is all that’s required from her, too.

 ***

 It is possible that what she said about Digger Harkness sticks in Rick’s memory, because when the need to comb the area arises during the next mission, he sends the two of them to search through the same building.

“If he gets up to something, do whatever you want to him. No one’s gonna weep for him,” he flings off. This is in the heat of the moment, of course – Boomerang almost got into a fight with Killer Croc on the helicopter over some nonsense. Or rather, it was Croc that almost got into a fight with Boomerang after the latter provoked him. Complicated.  

“You heard that, darl?” Boomerang addresses her with a smile so wide as if he hasn’t heard the last remark. “I’m all yours.”

Tatsu looks the other way and pointedly takes her sword out of its sheath – not completely, just a little. No further comments follow, and they part company – Deadshot with Croc, Flag with his team of spec ops, Tatsu with Boomerang – and go on a recce.  

In the basement, they discover something that looks like a laboratory – if a place so far from being sanitary may even be called one. All their hopes to move without making a sound crumble as soon as they enter the room: the floor is covered with broken glass. Those who ran the place must have escaped in haste and couldn’t take the entire stock of the serum with them, so they opted to destroy most of it. Tatsu’s attention is immediately drawn to the object on the table in the middle of the room – a metal container with tubes going from it to several smaller vessels. She heads straight for the table, shards crunching underfoot. Boomerang follows her, apparently kicking the largest shards on purpose so that they fly in all directions.      

“Looks like a hooch still,” he comments, having come closer, and gives a whistle. “Whoa, fuck, is that blood?”

Compared to the first task of their squad, this one looks almost effortless. Two gangs, the members of one of which possess the formula of the serum that grants superpowers to those who take it. A gun battle, collateral damage, the entire district on lockdown. If a few people weren’t noticed literally floating through the sky, the police would have been handling this. But this is an emergency, which is why they’re here, and the flying gangsters aren’t flying anymore, for Lawton is an exceptionally good shot.    

As it turns out, the serum that sparked the conflict is based on metahuman blood – hardly donated voluntarily.

“I’ll contact Colonel Flag,” says Tatsu, eyes locked on the bloodied tubes, and then someone grabs her by the neck.

For the first time in her life, she really has to fight blindly – because her enemy is invisible.  

Later, when the dead bodies gradually become visible on the floor like an eerie animated movie, it turns out there were four of them. Before that, Tatsu manages to lose her sword, recapture it, almost choke when an invisible hand squeezes her neck, slash one of the attackers in half, and plunge the blade into another’s stomach. Boomerang takes care of the other two, knocking over the container in the process.    

Tatsu is listening to the silence that came after the fight, wondering if any other invisible foes are lurking around the corner, when she feels that something is wrong. Something is wrong with her – she just can't figure out what. Sometimes it happens that one feels unwell but cannot determine what exactly the problem is – she is experiencing something similar now. Until she realizes: the mask. Until she looks up and makes eye contact with Captain Boomerang, who is staring at her and grinning.  

“You lost anything, doll?” Harkness inquires innocently, with an emphasis on the last word, and his smile grows even wider and cockier.  

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. The invisible man she fought hand to hand tore off her mask, and she didn’t even notice. But her partner, blast him, did – and picked it up.  

“Give it back,” Tatsu demands, hand outstretched. She feels naked. In combat, during the mission, she is Katana, a single whole with her sword. A cold weapon. No one needs to see her face. Truly, if she was wearing only the mask and nothing else, she would have felt less exposed – all right, this is an overstatement, and she doesn’t even want to imagine such a situation. Meanwhile, Boomerang is in no hurry to return the mask.      

“What did ya call me when that fucker was about to stab me?” he asks. Tatsu clenches the sword hilt. There is no telling how many enemies drunk on the magic serum are hiding in this house, and he’s dawdling. “You said…”

Damn it, what did she say? She saw one of the invisibles creeping up on him while he was fighting another – a bloodstain was floating through the air. She shouted…

“I said ‘George’”. Isn’t your name George Harkness?”

“You bet it is. It’s just weird. Most people don’t call me George, y’know.��  

“How do they call you then?”

“Digger. Boomerang. Boomer. That Prick. All sorts of things, but never George. But you,” he winks, “can call me whatever ya want. I liked the way you say my name.”

“Give. Me. The mask.”

“And the magic word?”

“I will chop your hand off,” as a proof of her intentions, she puts the blade against his extended hand that is holding her mask. In fact, she would face no consequences for doing so. No one’s gonna weep for him.      

Harkness makes a helpless gesture and hands her the mask.

“Can’t say no to you, luv.”

The mask helps her conceal her identity, but what is more important is that it helps her conceal needless emotions. Tatsu really hopes that her facial expression isn’t giving away that she’s ill at ease now. This is a weakness; weaknesses are not to be demonstrated. She feels deeply relieved when she puts the mask back on.  

“Let’s get out of here,” she commands, turns around, and heads for the exit. Harkness trails behind.

“It ain’t fair, by the way. You know my real name, but I don’t know yours,” he muses. “Care to introduce yourself, eh?”  

He asks the same question at least three times more before they return to Belle Reve, and each time she ignores him.

 ***

 A week later, he still doesn’t know her name – but he learns something else.

They do away with the last members of the recent gang on the outskirts of the city. Both wretches have overused the unfortunate serum, in keeping with the best traditions of the clichéd movies about superheroes and supervillains that Hollywood keeps producing for some reason, even though it is more and more often possible to see nearly the same thing on the news. As a result, one of them got puffed up almost to the size of the creature that Superman died fighting, and the other couldn’t control the flames bursting from his mouth. He burned half of the shopping centre with customers, retail workers, and guards. With teenagers in the bowling alley on the second floor and children in the playroom on the first.    

Santana… wouldn’t have approved.

Both problems eliminated, they leave: the firefighters and the cops will take it from here. Flag’s spec ops stay behind, because officially it is their victory; the general public shouldn’t know about the existence of Task Force X. Through backyards, they retreat in the direction of the abandoned construction site on the other side of the street; a car has been sent to pick them up there.  

There is a workers’ trailer still standing by the construction pit. The door is not locked, and Rick, Deadshot, Croc, and Boomerang go inside. Jones’s arm is broken: his inhuman strength notwithstanding, he still was no match for his enemy – not the fire-breather, but the other one. Tatsu leaves them to figure out how to make a temporary sling, and wanders away. Not far from the trailer, a piece of tarpaulin stretched over the fence has come off, and she can see the building across the street. Tatsu sits down on the ground, puts her arms around her knees, and stares at the dandelions growing by the fence.  

In her head, flames are raging.

She doesn’t look up, neither when she hears the footsteps approaching, nor when Harkness – and it is him, no one else in the Squad reeks of the mixture of booze and cologne like that – sits down next to her and cracks open a can of beer.  

“You want some?” he nudges her. What extraordinary generosity. It is, however, perfectly possible that if she says yes, he’ll reply along the lines of “Well, then go and buy yourself some.”  

“No,” Tatsu replies without looking and, after a short pause, adds, “Thank you.”

“Are you sure?”

With a sigh, she accepts the can from his hands, and takes a sip.

“This is disgusting,” she whispers, and takes another.  

Harkness just snorts and opens another one. For a little while, they sit side by side in silence, drinking each from their own can, and study the wall opposite through the mesh of the fence – like out of a prison window. Old advertisements that are half torn off, graffiti, a writing proclaiming that life fucks us all – plenty of things to stare at to avoid looking the person next to you in the eye.  

“So what the hell happened to ya?” Boomerang asks, and suddenly she could do with some serum for invisibility or, better yet, disappearing completely. Naturally, it is a fleeting impulse; she has no right to disappear. She has obligations – towards Flag, towards Waller. Towards herself.    

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? You zoned out, Flag shouted himself hoarse before you heard him. Like you were someplace else. Didn’t ya?”  

Why do you need to know? Tatsu thinks. If she almost rushed headlong into the fire, it’s her own business. If it only seemed to her that someone was there, it’s her own business. If she’s going to see things that aren’t there for the rest of her life, it’s her own business. He shouldn't have spoken. There is something comforting about being silent together.    

“Nah, you don’t have to say if you don’t wanna,” Boomerang assents, and takes another pull on his can. “I just thought that you, well. Might wanna talk to someone.”  

And they fall silent again. Yet now Tatsu feels awkward, which makes her angry at herself. She’s not obliged to pour out her heart to anyone who shows something that looks like care.    

This silence doesn’t make it any easier.

“I have… bad memories,” she finally says. Now it won’t be as awkward: she answered his question. It won’t be, right? “About a fire”.

Harkness nods, looking at her attentively.

“Someone you knew died, aye?”

“My children,” she hears herself say, and wishes to disappear again.

“Fuck,” Boomerang says, embarrassed, and – unbelievable – looks like he actually feels bad about starting this conversation. “I’m sorry, I… well, uh, I had no idea.”  

“It’s okay,” Tatsu says mechanically. Nothing is okay: she can still see Yuki’s tear-stained face, still hear Reiko’s voice, she is still watching the flames run up the curtains that she and Maseo picked together, she is still breathing in the smoke and still cannot believe she deserves a gulp of fresh air. She should have saved them. All of them.  

Boomerang looks at her incredulously but doesn’t say anything, and bit by bit, the silence that she doesn’t want to run from returns – the kind of silence in which one is not alone.    

Then there are footsteps again, and Flag approaches them.

“There you are,” he says with relief as soon as he sees her. Rick does not let himself overstep the limits of formality – they’re on a mission, after all – but he has obviously been worried. At the sight of Harkness, he frowns warily. “You! Quit getting on her nerves.”

“Who’s gettin’ on her nerves, Colonel? I was just tryin’ to help,” Harkness protests. It appears Rick’s words have wounded him a little.  

“He was,” Tatsu says. “It’s all under control, Colonel Flag.”  

Flag shifts his gaze to her and then to Boomerang again, and nods.

“Okay. In any case… follow me. We’re leaving.”

Tatsu gives her unfinished beer to Boomerang.

“Don’t talk about this to anyone,” she tells him. This might be an order or a request; she doesn’t really know.

He nods, and she thinks absentmindedly: who would have thought this man knows how to make a solemn face.

“Thank you,” she says again, hoping that he understands that this is not just about the beer or his promise to keep his mouth shut.

***

 After a few days, Tatsu comes to visit him. In prison.

Actually, she comes to visit all of them, of course. Not more than fifteen minutes alone with each of them – Waller wouldn’t allow more. This request seems to have surprised her, but Tatsu is certain that Waller is already picturing the new threads she can use to manipulate her special operations puppets. So it is possible that one day this decision will blow up in Tatsu’s face – or in the faces of all of them. But she cannot shake off the feeling that she must do this – so that someone except Rick, who is already dealing with a lot these days, would notice in time if the inmates are treated with undeserved cruelty. So that she knows what’s on their minds, because it is safer to fight side by side with the people whose line of thought she can understand at least roughly. So that there is some kind of variety in their lives between the missions.  

This is why she visits all three of them. Killer Croc, who looks like he’s not surprised to see her in the slightest and doesn’t really seems to care that she came, but doesn’t have any issue with that either. Deadshot, who looks like he is surprised, but doesn’t seem to mind answering her questions when she notices a stack of letters in the corner and asks him how his daughter is doing. And Captain Boomerang, who, when she enters his cell, looks like he can’t figure out if he’s dreaming.

“Katana?” he frowns perplexedly. He’s stripped to his waist, so she can see a couple of fresh scars he brought back from the last mission, and he’s got a black eye – when Tatsu saw him last, he had not. Must have quarrelled with the guards again. “What are you doing here?”  

“I came to see you.”

For a moment he seems not to understand what she just said. Then he breaks into a smile – or rather a grin, wide and pleased. Very pleased.  

“Aha! Knew it would end up like this,” he pronounces in triumph.

“Like this?”

“You,” he looks like he’s just proven a theorem of immense complexity, “missed me.”  

“I haven’t missed you, Captain.”

A very, very pleased grin.

“And still you’re here.”

“I visited Deadshot and Killer Croc earlier,” Tatsu says, and sees his facial expression change instantly. Not for long: the grin is quick to return, and she wouldn’t be able to tell right away that he’s disappointed.    

“Did ya now? And how are our fellas doing? Better than me, I reckon?”

“So it would seem. Did you fight the guards?”

“Why do you care, gorgeous?”

Indeed, why does she? Most likely, he picked a fight himself – and got his just deserts.  

“Make up your mind,” Tatsu says, “if you think that I missed you or that I don’t care.”

Harkness chuckles and really seems to ponder over this for a while.

“Beats me,” he concludes at last. “Care to throw some light on it?”  

No, Tatsu thinks, I don’t get it myself and I’m not sure I want to.

Instead of answering, she comes closer to him – so close that she can smell his sweat – and studies his face. She has to look up to be able to do that, which must look comical. Then again, he’s hardly stupid enough to laugh at her height or anything else about her, especially when she’s armed and he is not.  

“You lost a tooth. What happened?”

“Didn’t get along with one of the Wall’s watchdogs.”

“You could have tried not to look for trouble for a change,” all of a sudden, Tatsu realizes that she’s mad. Really mad at him. They might get dragged to another mission this instant; whether they like it or not, they have to be in good enough shape to protect the society that the most of them have to atone before at least partially. They shouldn’t spend their energy and health on nonsense. Black eyes and knocked-out teeth are nothing, but it mustn’t come to any of them being out of action when all of them are needed. All their powers, all their skills. All the anger they should rather aim at something other than the people who can just press a certain button at any point – and dispose of the wilful weapon.

Boomerang bares his teeth – not like Croc, of course, but still threateningly. He looks dangerous now – big, sturdy, more than a head taller than her. But he still isn’t more dangerous than her – and both of them are aware of that.  

“And they could have tried,” he speaks through his teeth, “not to talk shit about my mother for a change. They wanna talk shit about me, they can knock themselves out. I’ve heard enough ‘bout myself, I don’t give a flying fuck about what else they gonna say. But they’d better leave my mother out of it.”

So that’s what it is. They have found a quick and easy way to infuriate the man who has “MUM” tattooed on his chest. In uneven letters, like a child's handwriting. Tatsu noticed that tattoo as soon as she came in but didn’t look too closely at it. Now she feels like she has the right to look, to let her gaze slip lower, at the ridiculous writing that heaves with each furious breath of his, and then to avert her eyes at once.    

“They have power, and you have nothing,” she says. “Do you enjoy being their plaything?”

“Oh, so I’m a plaything, darl? And do I have much choice who to be now? In these four walls, and,” Boomerang points at his neck, at the place where a bomb is implanted under his skin, “with this crap in my neck?”  

Tatsu looks up again, right him in the eye.

“You already know who you are,” she tells him. “You’re a weapon. Broken weapons get discarded. And you’re letting them break you.”  

He stays silent, just looks at her in an odd manner, as if she’s speaking another language but he has a vague understanding of what she’s saying and doesn’t like what he just heard – because it is the truth.

Tatsu still doesn’t understand why she cares, and with each passing minute she has less and less desire to learn why.  

“Also,” she continues, “if you call me ‘darl’ or ‘gorgeous’ one more time, you’re going to regret opening your mouth.”

“Yeah? And how should I call ya?”

“Katana.”

“What, and that’s all? Nah, we might be weapons,” and she probably ought to remind him that there is no ‘we’, but in this particular case he’s right. Perhaps that is why Tatsu feels drawn to all of them: they’re cut from the same cloth, “but we’re alive as well. So far. Seriously, what’s yer real name? You know mine.”  

“I should not disclose that.”  

“Oh, come on. Listen,” he breaks into a pleased grin again. Another theorem proven. “How about a deal? You tell me yer name, and I will try to keep my temper if anyone else decides to stir me up. What do ya think?”    

“As if you’re going to keep your word.”

Boomerang makes a show of putting his hand over his heart.

“For you, ma’am… anything.”

For you. All at once, she recalls Rick’s words: do whatever you want to him. How many minutes of the visit she has already spent on this predictably fruitless conversation?    

“My name is Tatsu Yamashiro,” she says, tired, and then he smiles – not the way he did before, but in a calmer and more sincere manner. Gratefully.

“George Harkness,” he offers her his hand with an earnest air. “Nice to meet ya.”  

Tatsu hesitantly offers him hers. Her hand looks very small and fragile against his huge paw, and he must be thinking the same because the handshake comes out very careful. He could easily break her wrist. She could easily kill him with one hand afterwards. But he holds her hand gently in his warm, pleasantly calloused palm, and Tatsu hastens to take her hand away, because this is a mistake of an even worse kind than the time he saw her without the mask.  

“So you promise not to fights the guards.”

“I promise to try,” Harkness assures, but he’s keeping one hand behind his back.

“Don’t cross your fingers,” Tatsu says sternly. Real mature.

With a sigh, Boomerang repeats his promise, this time holding his hands within her view.

“But I ain’t promisin’ not to call you gorgeous,” he declares in the end.

“You know my name now.”

“But you’re still gorgeous.”

“Time’s up!” shouts the guard outside the door, and Tatsu cannot help feeling relieved that she has to go. She doesn’t regret visiting him, but all of this is too strange and awkward, and both of them might be weapons, but her position is different from his, and it is better not to forget that.    

“Can I do anything for you?” she asks him on parting.  

“Well,” Boomerang smirks. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

“With something I would actually agree to do?”

“Come again. Will ya?” This time he isn’t flirting; this time she can feel his insecurity, even shyness. As if he doesn’t like to admit to himself that what she answers is really important to him.  

“I’ll try,” she says cautiously. She’s not going to make any promises: she asked Waller about one time only. She doubts if she’ll be allowed to visit them again – to visit him again.  

“Try,” Harkness repeats, as if weighing the word on his tongue. “This means no.”

“This means I’ll try,” Tatsu says firmly.

And she comes again in a week. And the week after next. And a week after that.  

 ***

 “Why didn’t you walk away in Midway City?” Tatsu asks him once. “When Rick broke the control panel. You left then; why did you return?”  

A lot of water has flowed under the bridge since the time Captain Boomerang dared to smart off Amanda Waller. Several successful missions, slightly more respectful attitude on his part – and his cell already bears a passing resemblance to a place for living, even if for living quite miserably. Now there is even a table, and a chair that she gets to sit on as guest privilege. Harkness is sitting on the floor opposite her. The question seems to catch him unawares, but only for a moment.    

“Huh? Why did I return? Gotta live up to my name, that’s why. Have you ever thrown a boomerang, luv?”

I’m going to throw you somewhere one day, Tatsu thinks, yet without much irritation.

“And jokes aside?”

Boomerang attempts to feign an offended sigh.

“How do ya think? Plenty of options, all right. You gonna try to guess which one?”

Tatsu frowns.

“Is this a psychoanalysis session? Were you bitten by Harley Quinn?”

“Nah, Blondie didn’t bite me, I would’ve remembered. So don’t be jealous,” his voice gets playful again, and Tatsu stifles the urge to roll her eyes. “Lookie here… suppose I suddenly realized that I can’t leave you guys! ‘Cause you’re my mates. One for all, and so on. Don’t believe me?”

“You said something about plenty of options. What are the rest of them?”

He scratches his chin thoughtfully.

“We-e-ell… the second, ‘course, is that I wanted to save the world. Not that the world smiles upon me every bloody day, but I still wanna live! And for everyone an’ their mother to know that the bastards like us can also be heroes. Don’t you like being one of the good guys, eh, Tatsu?”

“I’m not ‘one of the good guys’”, Tatsu protests. “And it’s not me that we’re talking about. Any other options?”

“There was no point in leaving. That was still gonna be the end of the world, aye? So I’d rather meet it in battle and in good company than on the run. All the same it’ll be the end. There you go.”  

He stops talking, and in the silence that falls Tatsu can hear the footsteps of the guards in the corridor. Once again she wonders what the duty attendants that monitor everything through the surveillance cameras think of their conversations. They must make for the strangest and most pointless reality show ever.  

“The third one,” she says.

Boomerang looks a bit disappointed.

“Why?”

“Not the first one, because none of us meant anything to you then. You had just met us. And it didn’t seem like you were upset about letting Slipknot down,” Tatsu explains. She doesn’t intend to offend him – she’s just saying the truth. Once, he claimed it himself that they understand each other – here’s some understanding, he’s welcome. “Not the second one either, because you’re not stupid – no, stop smiling. You never believed that if people like us stop the Enchantress, someone would learn about that. Only the third option remains.”  

Harkness nods slowly.

“Yeah,” he agrees, and his eyes turn pensive, abstracted, as if he is there again, in the night city frozen in anticipation of the apocalypse. As if he sees himself – and makes a choice once again. “And that’s what happened in the end, didn’t it?”

“So the third option, then?”

“So it is.”

But something in his face makes Tatsu think that he was hoping for a different answer.

***

 Time flies; weeks and months go by. Tatsu spends them fighting, spilling someone else’s blood, occasionally drinking with Flag at a bar or in his apartment – a bachelor’s home again; reading books – most of the plots seem too naïve and unimaginative compared to what goes on in her life, and that is even for the best, and visiting the members of the Suicide Squad in Belle Reve. Some people go clubbing Friday evenings, and she goes to prison Friday afternoons.  

“Don’t get attached to them,” Rick scolds her.

“That is rich coming from you,” Tatsu replies, and he has enough self-awareness not to argue. Lest he gets offended, she chooses not to tell him that sometimes she and Lawton talk a little about him good-naturedly behind his back.

During one of her visits, Harkness raises a topic she has totally forgotten about.

“Hey, come to think of it, we never had that drink,” he points out. Tatsu doesn’t understand what he’s talking about, and it must be written all over her face, because he continues. “Remember I asked you out for a drink? In Midway City, before we fought the witch.”  

Tatsu has to make an effort to remember: indeed, he said something of the sort, but it never occurred to her to take those words seriously.

“We had a drink,” she counters. “When… when you shared your beer with me.”  

He shakes his head, dissatisfied.

“At the construction site? That’s bollocks. I’m talking a proper bar… nah, a restaurant! With crystal glasses an’ candles an’ shit… Like normal people.”  

“Candles,” Tatsu mumbles. She tries to imagine the two of them at the table at a restaurant; the picture turns out pretty absurd. On the other hand, a lot of what has happened in her life during the past few years can be deemed absurd.

“Yeah. Candles,” echoes Harkness, and continues with a crooked smile, “well, that’s me jokin’ around. In the near future,” he gestures in the direction of the small barred window of his cell, “I won’t be able to take you even to a fucking McDonald’s.”  

They don’t talk about the hypothetical dinners at a restaurant anymore, but the absurd picture stays with Tatsu, who still feels somehow indebted to Boomerang – for no reason, as she keeps telling herself – for that conversation at the construction site. She doesn’t like to feel the weight of unpaid debts on her shoulders – yes, that’s what it is about.

One day, she finds a way to pay that debt back.

 ***

 She waits for him in the car outside the prison gate. She hears him first; she cannot make out what exactly he is yelling at the guards, but that surely isn’t ‘good evening’. Then the door of the jeep is open, and someone must have kicked him in the rear because he literally falls into the car. Tatsu shrinks back on instinct.  

Then Harkness looks up – and notices her.

“Katana?.. Hey, what the hell’s going on? They didn’t let me take the boomerangs, didn’t let me take anything…”

“Close the door,” Tatsu tells him, and when he, still confused, obeys, tells the driver, “Let’s go.”

The car pulls away.

“I still don’t get what’s happening,” Harkness reminds her. “Sure, I’m happy to see ya, but… you weren’t ordered to take me to the woods and finish me off under the radar, huh?”  

“If Waller wanted to get rid of you, she would have had you killed in your own cell, and that’s all.”

“Wow, thanks for honesty. So where are we going?”

“To a restaurant,” Tatsu says, and turns away. Yet again it crosses her mind that it is a terrible idea.

“A restaurant?” Harkness drawls quizzically.

“As far as I recall, you said that the beer at the construction site is ‘bollocks’.”  

She should turn back to him, of course. The problem is that Tatsu is ninety-nine per cent sure that if she meets his eye now, she will blush. And she is by no means going to give him any sign that might be interpreted as taking an interest… of a certain kind. She has already blundered more than a few times.  

Therefore she stubbornly keeps looking out of the window. Then again, she doesn’t even need to look to picture how his facial expression is changing now; she’s seen this rakish grin enough times.  

“Holy cow. Tatsu, are you serious? We’re really just going to a restaurant? We’re getting outta this shithole where they only give us porridge with rat crap to gorge ourselves on lobsters and drink wine? Oh, fuck me sideways,” in the end, she turns to him and sees him throw back his head and burst into laughter, narrowing his eyes happily. “I’ll be damned! Am I dreaming? I must be dreaming. Pinch me.”    

“I can assure you you’re not,” Tatsu says, and realizes that she is also starting to smile despite herself. She has visited him and the others in Belle Reve often enough to know that porridge with rat crap, unfortunately, is far from being just a figure of speech. After such a diet, a meal at a restaurant must seem like the pinnacle of happiness.    

Boomerang shakes his head, apparently still unable to believe her.

“Holy fucking shit. How did you do that? How do you even do all that? I’ve told ya you’re unreal, have I?”

“Yes, you have,” Tatsu confirms patiently. And more than once – too often for her to attach great importance to it, too fervently for it not to please her at all. “Let’s put it that way: this is Waller paying me for a… favour.”  

“A favour, then. I take it a lot of some poor suckers died?”

“No,” she shakes her head. And it is true – but there still was a lot of blood. Both the man Waller indicated and his bodyguards turned out to be worthy adversaries. The whole thing went not as smoothly as she wanted it to – not that she wanted to; not that she would kill another person she knows nothing about if she could help it. Nothing to assure her: this one deserves it. Everything turned out rather… nasty. She had to burn the bodies. Then she got home in a haze, tended to a couple of fresh wounds – or rather, just scratches. And then she went to the bathroom and spent a long time soaping herself, as if the invisible filth that bothered her the most could be washed off with shower gel.    

Afterwards, she rummaged through her modest wardrobe and dug out the only dress she has about in America. Nothing special: wine red, below the knee length, sleeveless but with a pretty high neckline – very demure. The first and so far the last dress she bought after… after. If she and Rick didn’t have to accompany Amanda Waller to some event once, she wouldn’t have bought this one either. She put it on, combed her hair, still wet after the shower, with her fingers, looked at herself in the mirror – and flew into a rage, pulled off the dress, and could barely stop herself from tearing it to shreds. Restaurant or not, what does it matter? The last thing she needs is for him to think she dressed up for him.      

So the situation might be a little less absurd than it could have been. Both of them look like they’re going on another mission with the others, only she isn’t wearing her mask – he has already seen her face anyway – and he isn’t wearing his ever-present coat. It is no wonder he wasn’t allowed to take it – Waller wasn’t going to let him out of Belle Reve armed, and to let him wear his coat would probably be as unwise as to hand him all his boomerangs. Tatsu has no doubt that everyone and their dog have already searched through the personal belongings of the Squad, but she wouldn’t be surprised to learn that somewhere in his inside pockets Harkness has as many boomerangs as he is listed as having officially. She witnessed this man produce from his bosom at least four different lighters, a massive stack of dollars, a pocket knife, small binoculars, flat-nose pliers, and a toy unicorn. She has to admit: sometimes she doesn’t understand how he even does all that either.    

It appears that the thoughts of Captain Boomerang also turn to the contents of his pockets.

“Hey, how the hell are we affording this, though? Make no mistake, I’d stand treat, but my stash is in the coat, and these assholes didn’t let me take it, y’know.”    

“Don’t worry about that. Waller is paying for everything,” she explains, unable to suppress a grin, because this part, possibly the most unbelievable part of the entire affair, gives her a sort of silly, spiteful joy. Task Force X is a comparatively recent project, but they’ve already cleaned up so much mess for Amanda Waller that Heracles and his labours don’t even come close. A dinner at a restaurant is the least thing she could offer them. So when Boomerang explodes with laughter and gives her a conspiratorial wink, she looks him right in the eye and smiles. Another mistake. Then again, this is not the first time they share a secret.

He puts his hand on her knee, and she shakes it off immediately; this is way too far.

“I see you took your sword with ya,” Harkness observes, not giving any sign that something didn’t go the way he wanted.

“I am to keep an eye on you.”

“Yeah. How about…” he leans in closer, and the smell of cologne blasts up Tatsu’s nose. She can only hope it is due to external use only, “we chop off his head,” he nods at the driver, “and drive the fuck away from this? Huh?”    

The driver, who can definitely hear everything, doesn’t turn, but Tatsu notices him tense up.

“You’re kidding,” she says dryly. He may be, or he may be not – with Digger Harkness, one cannot always tell.

“Why kidding, doll? Zip, and done. There’s no way you enjoy working for Waller.”  

“I do not. But if you pull some stunt,” Tatsu feels for the sword hilt, and Boomerang sees that – very well, it is good for him to see that, “I will chop your head off. I really hope it won’t come to that.”  

“And what’s it to you? Scared of me? But I’m unarmed,” he claps himself on the chest demonstratively, implying that he has no weapons on him. “Why do you care if it does?”  

“I just wouldn’t like to do that,” she says firmly, and it’s true. It works well; he doesn’t even mention running away for the remainder of the day.

 This might be the strangest evening in her life.

Waller’s man drives them to a French restaurant whose name she cannot read but is almost sure that the phrase was chosen solely because it sounds impressive. They are let in through the back door, so no one among the other guests, who are sporting evening dresses and suits, pays any attention to her crop top and sword or to his… appearance in general. Their table is one of those located in alcoves, away from prying eyes, but Tatsu feels they are being watched. Which means Waller doesn’t trust her too much – well, she can understand that. She is part of a special team composed of deranged madmen, and she must admit she likes these deranged madmen more than she likes certain normal people known to her. Of course, she is Flag’s right-hand woman, but it is most likely that Waller doesn’t trust Flag either. It is doubtful whether there are any people in this world that she trusts at all.          

Waller is rich. Their little feast will not shatter her wealth, all the more so since the restaurant she sent them to is not the most luxurious. But they still have a field day ordering loads of food and a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu.    

“To honour among thieves?” she suggests, when they raise their glasses for the first time.

“Didn’t ya say yer not a thief?”

“That is true,” she admits, and adds inwardly, I’m a killer.  

In the end, they drink to the Suicide Squad. Then to Lawton and Jones, currently languishing in their cells. Then to Zoe Lawton, who is acting in a school play next week. To a lot of things. He asks her about her life here, in America. At some point she finds herself trying to explain to him what taiyaki is, and him telling her about banana sandwiches, and she can’t remember why they started talking about this at all. The bottle becomes empty, and another appears as if by itself.      

They don’t talk about the past. They don’t talk about the future, because there might be no future at all – they can’t know for sure, what with their way of life. That evening, Tatsu laughs and thinks: good thing I’m drunk – it almost gets easier for a while.  

When it’s time to leave, Harkness gets pig-headed.

“Whoa, no, no, no. Already? It’s too early, are you kiddin’ me?” he booms out when they exit the restaurant. He protests, but she drags him by the hand and he stumbles along after all, treading heavily like a dancing bear. “Let’s go someplace else, luv. Look at the pretty stars.”  

“We are already late. And you… you have to go back to jail,” Tatsu tells him. The stars are pretty indeed, but she regrets looking up at them, because her head begins to spin. Thankfully, she isn’t wearing high heels. Thankfully, she doesn’t have any high-heeled shoes at all, or she could have been possessed to wear them. “Sorry,” she adds when they get into the car and set off. “There is no other way.”  

“Back to jail,” Boomerang repeats with disgust. Sprawling on the seat, he unzips his hoodie, and Tatsu is swept over by the smell of cologne again. Weirdly, it doesn’t annoy her as much as at the beginning of the evening. “I’m a fucking Cinderella. I’m not back by midnight, they turn me into a pumpkin.”  

“Cinderella,” Tatsu echoes, and giggles: everything is way funnier now. The driver makes a sudden turn, and she is literally thrown at Boomerang. Her cheek presses to his chest – and stays there. Tatsu feels drunk and sated and drunk again, and sleepy too, and he makes for a decent pillow, and she can’t make herself move away.  

“Oh, you think it’s funny,” Harkness mutters with mock offence in his voice. It seems he’s about to fall asleep too. “Well, go on, laugh.”

They drive back in silence, and through the drowse Tatsu feels the warm arm around her waist and thinks: good thing I’m drunk, I can pretend I’m asleep.  

The road to Belle Reve is long, but it still feels like they reach it too quickly.

“Inmate,” calls one of the guards, “get out.”  

Harkness, his eyes still closed, moans with discontent.

“Captain Boomerang,” Tatsu says softly, freeing herself from his embrace. “It’s time.”

There is nothing to be done. He’s already about to step out of the jeep, when he suddenly moves closer to her again.

“Hey, darlin’,” he says, looking her right in the eye. “Aren’t ya forgetting something?”

It takes her some time to realize what he means: he must be expecting her to kiss him. All at once she remembers everything that has happened this evening, and awful shame washes over her: it is no wonder he’s expecting that to happen.  

“Inmate, get out!”

She shrinks back.

“Good night, Captain,” she tells him as dryly as she can. He looks wounded but says nothing, and almost obediently lets the guards escort him back to his cell. Tatsu closes her eyes and rubs her temples wearily. Tomorrow she is going to regret drinking so much. She already does – and that’s not the only thing she regrets.

She has to stop seeing him.

 ***

 At first, she even succeeds. Next Friday Tatsu, as always, goes to Belle Reve to see the Squad – all of them save for Harkness. She feels sick at heart because if she did promise him anything, it was to visit him, and now she’s going back on her word because of her own stupid weakness. But there is no other way.  

“He asked about you,” Waylon tells her a week later, when she brings him the latest issue of Playboy. Tatsu almost doesn’t feel weird anymore when buying it, and doesn’t try to imagine anymore what the news stand clerks think when she pays them for it. Such periodicals cause her a feeling of light disgust, but Croc, who gets let out of jail only to be thrown into another trouble spot, deserves at least some small joys.  

“Who?”

Waylon, no doubt observant like all the quiet ones tend to be, bares his impressive teeth.  

“You know who.”

It seems a logical solution to give up on these visits at all – but in that case she would betray all of them. Perhaps this little tradition is much more important to her than it is to the prisoners, but Tatsu is almost sure that it means something to them as well. She has no right to deprive the rest of them of this bit of understanding, companionship, normalcy because she wasn’t smart enough to stop the game she and Boomerang started before it became too late.

At home – not that the apartment she’s renting here deserves to be called ‘home’ – she, unable to fall asleep, unsheathes the sword and runs the tips of her fingers along the cool blade. A tender, habitual movement – like touching the cheek of a loved one.

“I’ve lost my way, Maseo,” whispers Tatsu. The place where the souls of the people struck down by this blade are trapped is still a mystery to her, but she knows that Maseo will come as soon as she calls him – as a voice from afar, as nebulous shapes in the swirls of smoke, as the peace and safety granted by the presence of someone dear. “I’m afraid of my own heart.”    

I know your heart, Tatsu. You have nothing to be afraid of.

“It makes me act rashly. Makes me succumb to false feelings.”  

I know your heart, Tatsu, and it incapable of falsehood.  

Only the ones that are already far away can speak so vaguely and with such unrelenting honesty at the same time.  

“I will always love you,” she whispers ardently. Not because she doesn’t want him to think it is not so; not because she herself feels like it is not so anymore either. She knows for sure that she is always going to love him, for she loved him as a lover, as a husband, as the father of her children, as the only thing she had left after all her life fell apart, burned in that damned fire. He will stay in her heart until her last breath – even if she has to close her heart to the rest of the world. Once she used to think that after all she’s been through, it isn’t going to be an issue.

And I will always love you, her husband replies, and Tatsu blinks back tears with a deep sigh.

“I just wish you were alive,” she tells him for what must be the hundredth, or maybe a thousandth time.

If he was with her – not as smoke or a voice, but as flesh and blood – he probably would have kissed her gently on the nape of her neck, as he often used to do.  

I just wish, says her husband – no, the soul of her husband, which is already rushing away, deep into the world she shouldn’t hurry to go to if she doesn’t want this sword to fall into wrong hands, that you were happy.

***

 Literally the next day there is a message from Metropolis that some giant snake-like beast is terrorizing the city and devouring people. The monster was last seen crawling into the building of the opera – which is where their squad heads to after reaching the city.  

“Look at that freak,” Harkness comments in a low voice. The creature is curled up slumbering on stage, and they are watching it from the catwalks above. “Not a family of yours by any chance, eh, ‘gator?’    

Waylon steps towards him, and the planks creak under his feet, threatening to break.

“Say that again,” he growls.

Tatsu bares her sword and wedges herself between them. Waylon backs off reluctantly.

“Knock it off,” she tells Boomerang. It feels like everything has come full circle – the day Harkness picked up her mask, he also had a run-in with Jones. The day they were sent to fight the Enchantress, she also put the blade of her sword under his chin. Why did she even think something would change?

“Oh, so you’re talking to me after all?”

“Enough,” Tatsu hisses. She really wants to try to explain everything to him. Maybe if she tries to put her feelings into words, many things will become clear to her, too. But if he thinks they are going to discuss this now, he is mistaken.

On the neighbouring catwalk, Rick is looking at them in a rage, gesturing both of them to shut up. Harkness steps closer; now the blade of the Soultaker is within a hair’s breadth away from his neck. A single careless movement, and blood will be spilled. A wild idea crosses her mind: it looks as if he’s into this. Tatsu licks her lips.

“Y’know,” Boomerang begins, lowering his head a little so that it is easier for him to look her in the eye, “I think you’re scared of me. Or of yourself, hell if I know. Am I right?”  

A loud rustle comes from beneath, and the next instant the monster bites through the middle of the catwalk they’re standing on, and both of them are falling down. Tatsu manages to grab some rope, but when she tries to climb it, her hands slip, and she comes tumbling down.

The fall is far from being soft, even though she falls on the tatters of the curtain, which the snake must have torn earlier. She is lucky not to hurt her head, but her left leg and hip are aching. Only the awareness that there is no time to lie around makes her summon up all her strength and get up. Her sword is nowhere to be seen, and Tatsu is overwhelmed by fury: now she is useless.

The snake roars and shakes its head, trying to shake off Croc, who is trying to bite through its scales. Rick is shooting at the monster from above, and Deadshot, who is already on stage somehow, is doing the same from below, dodging the blows of its tail. Tatsu sweeps her eyes weakly over the stage and suddenly notices a hole broken in it. At the very edge of the hole, the hilt of her sword is sticking out of the floor. Moving as quickly as it is possible to do that with a limp, Tatsu hurries there.

The moment she pulls the sword out of the stage, Harkness’s head pokes out of the hole. Not waiting for him to ask for help, Tatsu helps him get out.

“Are you…” both of them begin in unison and drop it immediately, because the snake has managed to shake off the bothersome little crocodile – who is hopefully just somewhere on the floor and not in its belly – and is moving towards them, slower than before but still pretty speedily. They scatter, and Tatsu charges at the monster with her sword drawn. Harkness throws a boomerang at the creature, aiming at its eye, but it dodges at the last second.        

Eventually, with joint forces they manage to kill the beast. To be on the safe side, Lawton fires a round into its open jaws. The long body shudders one last time and falls still. For some time, the five of them stand there looking at it.

“Where could this thing even come from?” Rick mutters.

“Remember what the Wicked Witch of the West said when she tried to get us to join her? The world is changing, the time of magic has come, blah, blah, blah,” Lawton reminds him. Rick nods absentmindedly; these are not happy memories.

Jones kicks the dead snake.

“Maybe it meant no harm,” he points out in his deep voice.

“Croc,” Rick says wearily, “it ate people.”

“So did I.”

“But at least you didn’t chew the curtain at the opera like a disgraced diva?” Lawton asks, struggling not to grin.

“Nuh-uh.”

“Well, then it’s okay.”

Rick titters nervously, and the next instant all of them are shaking with laughter.

 Tatsu is drinking water straight from the tap in the restroom, when Harkness comes in.

“This is a ladies’ room,” she says reflexively.

“Hey, I just wanna wash my face, is all.”

Without waiting for her to answer, he comes closer and starts washing at the neighbouring sink. Tatsu casts a sidelong look at him and notices that the water is turning red.  

“Show me your face,” she orders.

“It’s not a bad face, what’s yer problem?”

“I’m serious.”

He rolls his eyes, but stands still while she examines his face, only wincing when she dabs at the cut on his forehead with a paper towel.

“Just a scratch,” he assures at once.

“Just a scratch,” Tatsu agrees. She scrunches up the towel and throws it into the sink. She would like to keep her hand on his face, pretending that she’s still wiping off the blood, but she’s done pretending.

“How about you?” Boomerang asks quietly.

“Fine. A couple of bruises. You were lucky today,” she says just as quietly, and takes off her mask. Tomorrow they might not be as lucky. “I’m happy for you.”

“And I’m happy you got out alive… darl.”

For a moment she wants him to ruin everything. To reply with a jibe, to crack another dirty joke, to try to grab and kiss her only to get smacked. Not to stand motionless in front of her like he’s afraid to scare her off. It occurred to her once that from the outside their relationship might look like an attempt to tame a wild animal. Perhaps this is a mutual process.

Do whatever you want to him.

She stands up on tiptoes and kisses him.

For an instant, Harkness freezes – possibly trying to figure out again if he’s dreaming – and then pulls her closer and kisses back. Drinks her hungrily, like this is both the first time and the last. Bearing in mind what their lives are like, it really might be the last.

Tatsu doesn’t immediately realize why she suddenly doesn’t need to stand on tiptoes anymore.

“Put me down–” she starts, but gives up and wraps her legs around his waist. Boomerang grunts with satisfaction and switches from her lips to her neck. His beard, fortunately, is softer than could have been expected.  

“Stop drinking so much,” Tatsu breathes out, now that no one is trying to shut her mouth. “You taste like…” all English words slip her mind, “like… a beer cask.”  

It tickles her when he laughs into her neck.

Someone simply must enter now – Rick, Floyd, Amanda Waller, the president of the United  States, but no, no one is trying to stop him from squeezing her hips, to stop her from running her fingers through his hair. Weapon to weapon, blade to blade. Red-hot metal to red-hot metal. Melting until something new is forged – without fear, without regret, without the past, without the future.

Clearly, Maseo wants too much: she remembers what happiness is, and she is sure she’ll never ever be happy again.

But she can take a shot at being alive.

[awanderingdeal]

Never too late - 6 - 7

A continuation of Leo and Regulus’ attempts (antics) to give Regulus the childhood he never had.

CW: Food talk

Please message me if you feel I need to add any content warnings

Rating: T

Previous and future chapters can be found on my masterlist

Credit for the sweater universe and the characters within it go to @lumosinlove. What a hero.

[This is currently unedited, and I'm not that happy with it, but also my writing mojo has decided it is vacay time so it is what is it]

6. Go to camp! You’ll make friends for life.

“Le! Did you order something?” Finn called, appearing in the doorway of the kitchen carrying a large box.

“Yeah, it’s the t-shirts,” Leo nodded, scraping the onions he’d just chopped into the pot. “Put it on the island for me please, babe.”

Finn looked down at the box, making a show of testing its weight before he looked back at Leo with wide eyes, “This seems like...a lot.”

After adjusting the temperature on the stovetop slightly, Leo washed his hands and made to inspect the delivery. “Err, yeah. Potts got wind of the plan and got all excited. Half the team are coming now,” he smiled sheepishly.

“Of course that happened,” Finn threw his head back with a laugh. “You might as well make it a thing.”

“A thing?” Leo repeated, throwing Finn a bemused look.

“Uhh huh,” Finn nodded.

“I’m gonna need more, babe,” Leo said, lifting one of the shirts out of the box and running the material through his fingers, humming a note of approval.

“More shirts? There’s like 50 here,” Finn frowned.

“No, love,” Leo laughed, shaking his head “More on what a ‘thing’ is.”

“Ohh, got you,” Finn chuckled, leaning against the counter. “I just meant, if half the team is coming anyway, you might as well invite the other half. Get the kids involved. You know, a thing.”

“That’s not a bad idea, actually,” Leo cocked his head.

“Well, I did go to Harvard,” Finn shrugged, rooting around in the fruit bowl to find a suitable pear. One that wasn't too big because Finn got bored of flavours quickly and could never finish them. One that wasn't too soft, because he hated the sticky mess on his hands. In the early days of their relationship, Leo had been excited for the adventures that were going to come with his boyfriends, but he hadn't been prepared for how much the little nuggets of information he would discover about them would mean to him. The satisfied smile that appeared on his Finn’s face as he procured the perfect one was infectious.

“Such big brain energy and yet he still can’t load a dishwasher,” Leo retorted, motioning to the stack of crockery that had been abandoned on the counter.

***

“I have no idea why I put up with you,” Regulus scowled, covering his eyes with his hands. “Okay, I promise I can’t see.”

“Because I’m your best friend, obviously,” Leo replied, making a stupid face to ensure that Regulus was, in fact, telling the truth, and began to lead him towards the back door.

“Obviously,” Regulus drawled. “Do I get a choice in this best friend business?”

“Well, you can try and resist it if you want, but I am incredibly loveable and inevitably you will have to succumb to my charm so you might as well just deal with it,” Leo said.

Regulus gave a resigned sigh, “I suppose as best friends go you aren’t too bad.”

Leo laughed, punching Regulus lightly in the shoulder before telling him to watch out for the step up into the back yard.

“I hope you know that if I break my neck, you will be paying for -” Regulus started.

“Wegggie!!” Harry shouted through a mouthful of graham crackers that James had been trying to buy his silence with.

“Is that?” Regulus pulled his hands from his face, his eyes going wide at the scene in front of him. Leo had to admit he may have gone a little overboard with the execution of the summer camp. What had started off as a few classic summer camp activities had turned into a carefully planned extravaganza. There was a climbing wall and he’d hired an events team that taught archery. Between the games of dodgeball and capture the flag, there would be time for tye-dying, friendship bracelet making, water balloons, tug of war and much more. Of course he hadn’t skimped on the food either: burgers, pizza, vegetable sticks, taco salad and hot dogs; there was a long buffet table laden with an endless supply.

Regulus pulled Leo back inside, tugging him further into the kitchen so that the crowd of Lion’s players and their families couldn’t see them. “Leo, this is too much.”

Leo looked at Regulus trying to read his friend, but the other boy was infuriatingly closed off. “Look, if you really don’t want this, I’ll go and tell everybody to enjoy themselves and we can get out of here.”

Regulus huffed out a breath, “It’s not that I don’t want to...it’s...it’s weird everybody being here. They are obviously just here because you asked them and I feel like an add on.”

“Okay, let me stop you right there,” Leo held up a hand. “You practically live at Kris’ house the amount of time you spend there with Avie. Celeste loves you like a seventh? eighth? child...honestly, I’ve lost track of how many children they’ve adopted at this point. You and Olli…”

“Alright, alright,” Regulus interrupted, “I get your point.” He cocked his head slightly, “Huh, I guess I didn’t realise how much I’ve settled here.”

“You need a second to process that or are you ready to go have some fun, because I think Harry might eat all the s’more supplies if we wait much longer.”

***

Leo leaned into Logan’s shoulder, smiling as he watched his boyfriend show Katie how to toast her s’more in the bonfire that crackled in front of them. He was admiring the softness of the French leaving Logan’s mouth, when Regulus plopped himself onto the large log they were sitting on, a sleeping Aveline clinging to him.

“Hey, Reggie,” Leo greeted, turning his soft smile to his friend. “You alright?”

“I’m good. I just wanted to say thank you,” Regulus nodded, shifting Aveline into a more comfortable position. Leo noticed that Regulus had added another 3 new friendship bracelets to his haul since he had last got a moment to catch up with him. “For all this. This day has been amazing. All of it. I’m not sure if summer camp would have been my thing really, but I never really got to do fun family garden parties either and this has been incredible. ”

Any reply that Leo was about to make was disturbed, by Aleandra dumping a water balloon over Marc’s head right in front of them, their loud screams causing Aveline to wake with a cry.

7.Decorate your room! Paint the walls, buy new bedding and pick some new accessories! Make it your space.

"Well," Leo set a pile of magazines on the bed with a soft thud. It was a little old-school, but he was adamant that it was easier to come up with a complete picture this way. "What do you like? You don't have to know exactly, but we can't go to Ikea without any idea." He let out a soft snort at the unintentional rhyme.

Regulus looked up at him, wide eyed, as if he'd just asked him to supply the solution for world peace. "I don't know," he shrugged, toying with the sleeve of his shirt.

"You must have some thoughts."

"I don't know," Regulus snapped. "I've never had to make these decisions before. There was no point liking anything, because our parents would do what they wanted either way." He spat the words, and despite how it made Leo feel he knew the anger was a sign of some sort of progress. Not even a few months ago, his friend had spoken about his childhood like it was just a different form of normal.

"I'm sorry," Leo apologised, climbing onto the bed next to Regulus.

"It's not your fault, is it," Regulus shrugged, tucking his knees to his chest.

"I shouldn't have pushed you for an answer," Leo clarified, moving the magazines out the way and dragging his laptop from the bedside table. “Look, how about we go through Pinterest and you can pick some pins you vibe with. I’m sure we’ll find a trend.”

“Yeah,” Regulus breathed, shuffling closer to Leo. “Yeah, okay.”

***

“What the hell, there’s more,” Regulus said in awe as they rounded another corner to be confronted by rows of rattan baskets.

“I think we’re nearly at the end.” Leo looked up from the map he was trying to follow, almost stumbling over the cart when Regulus came to a sudden halt.

“These are nice,” Regulus mused, picking up a walnut coloured weaved basket. “My towels will look nice in these.”

“I’m sure they would,” Leo chuckled. He shouldn’t have been so surprised by how quickly Regulus had gained an affinity for interior design considering how he had taken to honing his clothing style with such ease.

“Oh! But these are nice too.” Regulus turned to show Leo another basket, that was identical in every way except for being perhaps a shade lighter.

Leo groaned. They had been in the store for over 3 hours and the cart was overflowing. His friend was adamant he was going to pay his own way and considering the short amount of time he had played for Slytherin along with the legal fees to end his contract early, the man was having to learn to budget to be able to afford college. Leo had suggested that doing a couple of interviews would leave him with a fair buffer, but Regulus had wanted to put as much space between hockey and his new life as possible. Leo was supportive, but Regulus seemed to be having trouble getting out the habit of buying everything he wanted.

“Right, pick one and then close your eyes. We need to get out of here.”

***

“Up a little on the left,” Leo instructed, shaking his head as Regulus lifted the left side of the photo frame considerably. “No, not that much.”

“That’ll do.”

“It’s not straight!”

“Neither are you and you don’t see us complaining,” Regulus huffed as he adjusted the frame again.

“You’re just jealous,” Leo threw one of Regulus’ new cushions across the room, hitting him squarely in the back of the head.

“Eww,” Regulus deadpanned. “And please do not throw my things,” he glared, hugging the cushion to his chest.

Leo was about to make a comment back, but he was interrupted by Sirius clearing his throat in the doorway.

“Got you a present,” Sirius said, holding out a large bag.

“Sirius.” Regulus crossed his arms over his chest, his face set into a disapproving stare. “I told you -”

“Think of it as an early birthday present,” Sirius interrupted.

“My birthday is not for another 4 months.”

“Just take it. I promise I’ll let you do this the way you want, but you’ve got to let me buy you things every now and then too. That’s what big brothers do.”

Regulus sighed, crossing the room to take the bag from Sirius. “Thanks,” he muttered, the corners of his mouth lifting despite his best efforts. The smile spread further as he laid the mustard coloured herringbone throw he’d been salivating over in the small boutique they’d visited a few days prior.

“You’re welcome,” Sirius nodded. “Looks good in here, by the way. We’ll have to find you an apartment in New York that will be big enough to fit it all in.” he commented, walking away as he finished his sentence.

“I’m paying for the apartment!” Regulus called after him. Leo barked a laugh as Regulus ranted about stubborn humans on NHL wages. Regulus poked a finger at him. “You can be quiet. I know this was your doing.”

[sixth-light]

Original Horse Girl Andy insists that Nile learn about the best mode of transport, a ficlet:

The fourth time she fell off, Nile didn’t bother getting up right away. It would happen, she was just taking a moment. It turned out to be a sad fact of the particular brand of immortality she’d been...given...that the bruises healed so quickly she barely noticed them, and likewise the two broken toes she’d had so briefly this morning, but the ache in her muscles was just as inescapable as it had been in Basic. At least the grass was soft and the sun was out.

Andy appeared over her, silhouetted against the bright blue sky, a halo of light on her short hair. Nile had been prepared for her to look impatient – impatience was Andy’s thing, of the four of them, she was learning that – but it was worse: she looked amused. Maybe even, hidden in the corner of her mouth and the tilt of her head, the tiniest bit sympathetic.

Nile got to her feet. Her horse had wandered a few feet off and was trying to stick its head through the fence - apparently the grass really was greener there. “Let me guess – we go again?”

“No,” Andy said. “Here’s your next lesson about horses; they only put up with so much. We’ll walk them for a bit before you get back up there.”

Despite what she’d said, Nile’s horse only made a gentle sort of huffing noise when she took the reins to lead it, and nudged her in the shoulder with its nose. It didn’t seem that put out that Nile couldn’t stay on.

“You still haven’t said why this is so important,” Nile said as they made a slow circuit around the field. Nile still wasn’t quite sure these two great beasts – horses were a lot bigger than she’d thought, close up – weren’t going to break another toe or two. “Learning to ride.”

“It’s useful. Horses don’t break down, they don’t need gas, they don’t need roads -”

“I believe you, but tell me honestly, when was the last time you needed to ride?”

“Iran, 2002.” Andy’s response was prompt and without hesitation. “Saved our asses – as much as they ever need saving.” She grinned. “Book hated it. Next time you see him, ask him about it.”

Andy kept doing that, kept telling Nile things she should ask Booker next time she saw him. Nile didn’t know what to say to any of it; what were the odds she’d remember, ninety-nine years and seven months from now? But she didn’t think Andy was saying those things for Nile, so much.

“Just so we’re clear,” Nile said, “that was eighteen years ago.”

“You never know.” Andy was firm, the tone that said you wanna argue? Go ahead, worse than any drill sergeant. “Now – get back up there.”

The first time, Andy had given her a leg up. The second and third and fourth, she’d let Nile do it on her own. The horse, Nile thought, was very patient as she scrambled and rolled onto its back. Andy, of course, sprang up from the ground like it was nothing, and sat bareback on her own horse like they were one creature.

Nile made herself hold the reins lightly. Head up, back straight, use your knees, not so stiff; she ran through the instructions in her mind. None of that made sitting astride what felt like a warm, hairy sofa any easier. It just meant she hadn’t fallen off again. Yet.

Andy patted her own horse on the neck. “Once more around, then we’re going to try going a bit faster.”

“I will fall off again. You sure about this no saddle thing?”

Andy snorted. “Saddles make you stop paying attention to the horse. You fall off, you’ll learn quicker. I don’t have all the time in the world to teach you, you know.”

She looked away after she said that, towards the trees on the other side of the field. Nile waited until she looked back. “Joe and Nicky can always show me how in a few decades. If it ever comes up and we’re not making our escape by hovercraft, or something.”

“They’ve been promising hovercraft since before you were a gleam in your father’s eye,” Andy said with the dignity and disdain of someone who’d seen a hundred futures come and go, “and Nicky still rides like he’s wearing mail.” She amended that last when Nile frowned. “Chainmail.” Then she nodded to a tree on the other side of the fence. Nile recognised it; she’d been lying in the grass next to it. “Look, all the way around and you’re still here. Time to up the ante.”

The best thing about doing this with Andy and nobody else, Nile decided, was that there wasn’t anybody else around to hear the noise she made when Andy clicked her tongue and they went faster.

*

When they got back to the farmhouse, after a whole lot of extra work in the stable that made Nile contemplate again how much less trouble cars were, Nicky had his rifle stripped down on the kitchen table and was meticulously cleaning every part. Joe was chopping onions; he’d explained to Nile, a few months ago now, that Nicky loved cooking and would fight off competitors to do it, but hated chopping onions.

“Have a good afternoon?” Joe asked.

“I found out about muscles I didn’t know I had. But yeah, I think we did.”

“How many times?” Nicky didn’t look up from his work, but she could feel his attention shift.

“How many times what?” Nile said, holding on to the out he’d given her.

“Fourteen,” Andy said, shuffling through kitchen drawers and giving up to open the bottle of beer she was holding on the edge of the stone bench, a trick Nile was going to have to learn. “She fell off fourteen times. I thought it’d be a lot more,” she added, in Nile’s direction.

“There was no saddle,” Nile pointed out, for the others’ benefit. “Forget stirrups. Not even a saddle!”

“Andy thinks saddles make you stop paying attention,” they chorused together, without even looking at each other.

“And I’m right,” Andy said with satisfaction, taking a swig of her beer. “Nile, you want one?”

“I’m gonna shower first, but thanks.” Nile made it all the way out of the kitchen before a thought crossed her mind, and she poked her head back in. “Hey, you guys are into bets. Anybody want to bet me I’m never going to need to ride a horse?”

Nicky gave Andy a quick sideways glance. “Sure. A hundred euro says you will.”

“That’s a terrible bet,” Joe chided them, sweeping a pile of onion across the chopping board with his knife, as practised as Nile had ever seen him cut a throat. “She can only lose.”

“But I get to live in hope,” Nile countered.

“Sounds about right to me,” said Andy. “In the long run.” She tilted her head. “It’s not that bad, right?”

“On the scale of ‘you tried to get me to jump out of a plane when we first met’? It’s not that bad. But I still say we’re gonna get that hovercraft first.”

Joe turned to frown at her. “What?”

“Ask Andy,” Nile said, winking at him, and went to have her shower.

[cottoncandyjester]

So to brighten up the mood let’s have

Poly hikaruzeke with male y/n taking their siblings out on a vacation!

This is just all fluff with a hint of something dark buried under it

When you all arrived at the hot springs Mateo went straight to causing havoc by messing with ushio “ so if we do unisex hot spring you should totally let me at least put my mouth on one of your ti- OW!”

He winced when Hikaru hit him on the head “callate la boca!” Hikaru snapped out while you and Zeke were trying to get checked in. Ushio nervously rushed over to you a Zeke gripping zeke’s shirt hiding behind him. You glared at Mateo who rubbed his head with a huff “Zeke your stupid boyfriend hit me!” He whined and Zeke looked around

“He did? I didn’t hear or see shit.” Zeke mumbled out now wrapping an arm around both you and Hikaru a sly grin on his face. You rolled your eyes before holding two keycards “alright me and ushio will share a room, teo you’re with those two” and of course the horny 18 year old had something to say about that.

“OI! Why does he get to be with her!? That’s like all the way unfair!” He snapped out with a huff stomping his foot and Zeke felt his eye twitch, if he doesn’t kill his brother before this trip is over it will be a miracle.

“Cause y/n doesn’t have a habit of groping people while they are trying to sleep you little man whore and ushio doesn’t like sleeping alone”

“Man whore? Wonder who I got it from”

You and Hikaru snorted with laughter avoiding zeke’s glare before you all gazed over at ushio who was quietly playing on her switch. “I don’t mind sharing a room with him, it’s okay” she said softly immediately feeing Mateo latch onto her “hell yeah! Now this is a vacation!” He chirped out loudly as ushio pushed him away..this was going to be interesting.

You all got settled in your rooms and Zeke laid back on the bed his head in your lap while Hikaru sat ontop of him “you know, one good thing about having the room to ourselves is that we can wreck it all we want” the male purred and Hikaru scoffs “doesn’t make me feel any less worried about your disgusting brother” he sneers out only for you to laugh “ushio can handle herself I once saw her scare off a guy just by awkward silence” you added before planting a kiss on both zeke’s and hikaru’s cheek. “Come on! Let’s eat! I promised teo some sushi!” You cheered out

“WOOOAHHHH! SUSHI BOAT! LOOK ITS A SUSHI BOAT!” Mateo was screaming at the top of his lungs at the restaurant eyes sparkling with joy. “Can you not be a gremlin for five minutes? Like you took your adhd medicine yeah? How are you so hyper?” Zeke hissed out.

“Oh no I forgot it at home, but I mean I don’t really need it” Mateo mumbled out using the chop sticks to stab the sushi plopping it in his mouth which made Hikaru look downright offended.

“Did he just-”

“Yup” ushio mumbled out knees pressed to her chest eyes glued to her phone as she watched anime but Zeke took her phone. “Eat mama, you haven’t eaten today you still have to take your medication after you eat” he said firmly and the girl gave a small pout looking over at you with puppy dog eyes

You started to sweat now shoving food in your mouth and glancing away. “Psst, Y/n...” she whispers out making with twitch. “ y/n don’t you do it” Hikaru warned out and you looked over at the girl. “Can I borrow your phone?” She said it in her best cute voice and before you knew it you were giving her your phone to watch anime on.

“Y/n!”

“She’s too cute! I can’t help it!” You huffed out and Zeke chuckled shaking his head. “Hey ushio! I can feed you if yo-”

“If you touch me I’m calling the police” ushio stated coldly making the male pause and he gulped “y-yeah okay good talk” he said softly now turning his head away nervously.

When you all went to the spring the next day you decided to just to a unisex one to keep an eye on ushio so she doesn’t faint or anything. “Tiddies tiddies tiddies!” Mateo cheered out like a child causing Hikaru to kick his back pushing him in the water “knock it off!” He snapped out.

“I don’t think he’s gonna survive this trip”

“Oh no he’s definitely gonna die the question is how?” Zeke teased out gazing at ushio who had a towel wrapped around her. “You can keep the towel on if it makes you comfortable” you said softly to the girl who gave a shy nod. When you all got in you let out a long sigh tilting your head back in relaxation

It was peaceful for about three minutes, yup three minutes Mateo started splashing around “I’m bored!” He huffs out and Hikaru cracked his knuckles “oh yeah? I’ll give ya something to fucking do” he hissed out harshly. As the two fought you couldn’t help but laugh but what made you happy was seeing ushio smile at the antics

“Having fun ushio?”

She looked down face flushed a smile on her face before giving a small nod fingers interlaced together “ I never had family time like this, can we do this more?” She asked out making everyone pause at just how sweet she was.

“Of course!”

“Where should we go next?”

“I’ll go wherever ushio is going!”

“Shut the fuck up about my sister you incel!”

You all were definitely rowdy! Once you all got done and showered you and Zeke ended up blow drying ushio’s and mateo’s hair. You couldn’t help but trail your fingers along the white patches on mateo’s back eyes moving to the small holes along the side of his arm that reminded you of needle injections. Mateo glanced back at you now gripping your wrist tightly nearly crushing it eyes darkening lightly “stop that, okay?” He said softly before grinning to hide that dark tone he just gave you “ushhhiiiooooo~” he purred out now reaching out to touch the girl only for her to kick him off the bed

“Stop it.”

“You’re so cold to me!”

You tried to laugh it off though it struck you as odd, whatever. You three got the two settled in before making your way back to the room. “Hey Zeke? Does mateo take injections?” You asked making him snort with laughter “no way! The kid cries and screeches off you even show him a needle” he said while laughing and Hikaru rolled his eyes.

“Enough about them, didn’t someone say you wanted to wreck the room?” Hikaru purred out and the three of you exchanged looks. That night got very loud, when it came to the morning when you all had to leave you all were beyond tired.

Hikaru sighs softly letting out a sleepy yawn as you all talked to the limo. “Have fun?” Ushio mumbled out making you twitch nervously before she tapped her neck and you slapped your hand on your neck.

“Pffffft hahaha! It’s okay I got laid too riiiight ushio?”

“No. I only gave you one kiss on the cheek and you started crying so I let you cry yourself to sleep” she mumbled out eyes on her phone as she climbed into the limo making Mateo huff “l-liar! I-I dunno what you mean!” He snapped out face red as he turned his head away.

The rest of the ride was far more relaxed, Mateo fell asleep his head rested on ushio’s shoulder as she watched anime ignoring him.

“She looks happier, thanks for this y/n” Hikaru mumbled to you and Zeke chuckled “I can tell mateo had fun too, he works hard for all the sports clubs he’s in for college he doesn’t really chill out yknow?” Zeke added and you grinned widely

“Next trip let’s go to the mountains or something!”

“Vacation number two!” Mateo sprung up and shouted with a bright smile on his face.

[gukyi]

prince-napped | ksj

summary: life is simple for a wanted pirate like yourself: leave nothing behind, and don’t stay for anything. but when you suddenly become entangled with a runaway prince who clearly has never left his palace before today, you suddenly realize that life is much, much more complicated than you thought it was.

{pirate!au, begrudging allies to lovers!au, prince!au}

pairing: kim seokjin x female reader genre: fluff word count: 1k warnings: gun mention a/n: a huge thank you to @youwannabelostandnotbefound​ for commissioning this piece and for donating to the #blacklivesmatter movement!!! this is from my fic titles game, and is also something that i wish i could fully write if i had the time.

You have two policies when it comes to town-hopping: leave nothing behind, and don’t stay for anything. 

Well, at least you’re still following one of those rules. 

The bag that you had forgotten at the tavern has probably long been stolen, along with your only gun and money that was meant to feed you for a few days—or at least keep you off some local ‘WANTED’ lists—but you’ll survive. You always do, even with setbacks. So long as there was nothing that could identify you within its contents. Wait, was the picture of your parents in that bag?

Shit. 

Too late for that now. You can’t risk going back and getting caught by local authorities. Nobody in this town can see your face more than once. You keep your head down and move quickly, with purpose. People don’t question folks who look like they know what they’re doing and where they’re going. 

And even if you are winging this whole pirate thing, at least you have your destination in mind. 

The pier is a good couple of miles away from the town square, a bustling center lined with shops and houses, chimneys always smoking as everybody shouts at each other. Townsfolk are always the same, no matter where you go, no matter what port you dock your little dingy at. They say the best way to be invisible is to hide in plain sight. And no one ever notices a sad, insignificant boat on a dock the size of two town hall buildings.

Something cracks behind you. You whip your head around to look for the culprit, but nothing sticks out. No officers rushing to arrest you nor citizens pointing and whispering. Still, you pick up the pace, ignoring the way your feet are aching and the relentless beating of your heart. To be a lone pirate is dangerous, but to come with a crew brings too many liabilities. You work alone. 

When you reach the docks, you take a sharp left turn and shift from your speed-walking to more of a relaxed jog, making it look like you’re just casually headed towards something as opposed to looking like you’re on a mission. Your dingy is tied to the pier two boats from the very end of it, inconspicuous so as not to draw attention.

But as you turn the final corner, you spot something exceedingly out of place. 

It’s an extremely attractive man, well-groomed and properly-dressed, pleading with one of the sailors for supplies. He looks rather desperate for someone so rich, like he has somehow managed to lose all of his wealth in the last hour and now has nothing. He also is almost certainly not from this area, if the sailors are anything to go by. 

You stop for a moment to inspect the situation. If the sailor and the man spot you, you could potentially be dragged into the conflict, which is not ideal. But you seriously doubt you’ll be able to slide by the both of them, judging by how distressed the man looks. You watch suspiciously, waiting for a sign that will let you move past them without incident, when you see the sailor brandish a gun from out of near-nowhere. 

“You want to beg for a boat some more?” The sailor spits, looking menacing. “You got anything else to say, huh?”

“Whoa, it’s alright, seriously, I can pay you, I swear!” The man sputters, hands up in surrender. “I’m wealthy.”

“You don’t look it,” the sailor sneers. “Hopefully no one will miss you when you’re gone.” He cocks the gun and aims it straight at the man’s heart. Oh, shit. 

You can’t believe you’re doing this, but you rush in, putting on the most desperate expression you can manage, grabbing onto the man’s arm. 

“Oh my god, what on earth are you thinking, James?” You shout at the man, who clearly has no idea what you’re talking about. You press on. “You know better than to speak to strangers.”

“Who are you?” The gruff sailor asks. He’s lowering his gun, which is a good sign. 

“I’m his sister,” you explain, hoping that the man will catch on. “Normally I try not to leave him alone but I went shopping for some food for our trip and he wandered off.” You try to sound as helpless as possible. Maybe he won’t kill you both if he thinks you have some sort of empathy. 

“Wha—”

You elbow the man in the stomach, effectively shutting him up. 

“I’m terribly sorry for anything he may have asked you for. He thinks that we don’t have enough as is, ungrateful brat,” you say, already trying to usher yourselves away from the sailor. 

“Better keep a damn close eye on him,” the sailor eyes carefully. “I won’t ask questions next time.”

“Of course, sir,” you say with a dutiful nod, pulling yourselves away until you reach your dingy. When you’re out of earshot of the sailor, you round on the man. “Tell me, just what do you think you’re doing?”

“What do you think you’re doing?” He counters. 

“Saving your goddamn life,” you spit. “Do you have no social skills? No awareness? You think you can just ask for things and get them?”

“Yes…?”

You heave out a sigh. Who does this man think he is?

“My name is Seokjin, by the way,” he says snootily, crossing his arms as he turns away from you. 

“Whatever, Seokjin. Get in the boat.”

“What? I’m not getting in there with you, I don’t even know who you are!” Seokjin shouts, incredulous. 

“I’m Y/N, and if you don’t, then you’ll probably be dead in the next twenty-four hours,” you say. Why is he disagreeing with you? Didn’t he just get a gun pointed at his face? Does he really think he’d make it? “Get in or don’t. I’m not gonna offer again.”

Seokjin contemplates his options for a few seconds, but you’re almost certain that if Seokjin doesn’t come with you, he’s done for. And yeah, you don’t really want the extra baggage, especially one that’s so goddamn naive, but letting him die on your non-action seems like bad karma. At least he’s something of a looker. 

“Fine,” the man mutters, stepping awkwardly into the dingy. There goes your second rule. He shrieks when the boat rocks on the water, like he was expecting it to stay still or something, reaching out to clutch onto your hand. 

You roll your eyes, getting in after Seokjin has settled from his fear of being in a boat. Quickly, you detach yourselves from the pier and begin to row away as rapidly as you can. Sticking one hand down at the bottom of the boat, you pull up another oar. “Here, row.”

“What? Me?” Seokjin asks. 

“No, the mosquitos flying around you,” you say sarcastically. “Yes, you. Chop, chop.”

You almost explode when you see Seokjin holding the oar upside down, sticking the wooden pole end in and out of the water like someone dipping sweets into chocolate. He’s hopeless. Eventually, you snatch the oar from his hands and just row yourself, making your way to your ship, hidden amongst the outskirts of the island, in a bushel of overgrown trees. 

“Where you from, anyway?” You ask, trying to make conversation with him. He’s not from anywhere you’ve been too. Too nicely dressed. 

“Oh, uh, Lumor,” he says, scratching the nape of his neck. You recognize that town name—it’s a big more inland than the one you’re at now. You suppose he hasn’t gotten far, then.

“What do you do to afford silken shirts, Seokjin?” You ask him. Obviously something lucrative. Maybe he’s just a really bad hitman. 

Seokjin grins awkwardly, looking nervous. “I’m, uh, I’m actually the prince.”

What.

↳ links are broken, but don’t forget i’m still taking commissions!

[shhh-no-ones-home]

December 6 - chris motionless

title: how the Chris stole Christmas

++++

prompt: Person A is very cheerful and loves the holidays, person B hates it. Person A makes it their mission to change their mind

(Reader hates Christmas)

request from: @svintsandghosts

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee @thisplace-ishaunted @joeynihil @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @xyours-eternallyx

++++

"So... Got any big plans this year?"

Chris asked expectantly and I sent him a look before returning my attention back to the nhl game we were playing on the tv.

"Did you really just ask me that?"

I said and he laughed lightly.

"What? you can't tell me you don't have any plans."

He said clicking away at the controller. I shrugged.

"I never do, you know that."

Then he hit pause and I drew my brows, sending him a testing look.

"What the hell?!"

i protested. He looked at me and shook his head.

"Don't be a Grinch this year."

He said flatly before resuming the game. I frowned at him before getting back into it.

"I'm not a Grinch, I just don't have friends or family to spend time with so what's the point."

He let out an exasperated laugh.

"What am I, chopped liver?"

He asked and I snorted.

"Of course not, but you go see you're parents for the holidays. I don't exactly have that luxury."

He hummed.

"How about you come with me this year?"

He said and I paused the game this time, looking over at him. He looked liked he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"What?"

He asked innocently and I shook my head, resuming the game.

"im sure you're parents don't want to deal with me for the holidays."

he scoffed at me.

"my parents like you more than they like me, im sure if i tell them you're coming they will welcome you with open arms."

i groaned as i lost, him cheering for his team. i fell back into the couch, the controller in my hand dropping to the couch next to me.

"so what do you say? will you be my plus one?"

he asked and i rolled my eyes.

"fine but dont expect me to be excited about it."

he nodded once.

"ill take it."

---

when i got to chris' house he opened the door with a wide smile.

"i have something for you."

he said excitedly, stepping back into his apartment and letting me close the door.

"okay?"

i asked skeptically, watching him as he disappeared into his room.

"here."

he said, coming back out and handing me a Christmas sweater. i made a disgusted face.

"you are not making me wear this."

i said and he crossed his arms over his chest.

"oh i absolutely am. now go get changed."

i groaned as i took it and walked into the bathroom. i looked over the front of it and laughed before changing into it, checking it out in the mirror. the front of the sweater was the marauders map; because of course it was. it just so happened to match his that had the Slytherin emblem on it. when i walked back out he had the widest smile on his face.

"i wanted to get your house but i wasnt sure what you were, but now we match!"

he said, grabbing his coat off the couch. i shook my head.

"thats perfectly okay since you will be keeping this after today and im sure you wouldnt want two of the same sweater."

i said and he stuck his tongue out at me.

"what did i say about being a Grinch?"

he asked and i laughed.

"i told you i am not a Grinch, but you asked me here so this is what you get."

i said and he shook his head.

"whatever, come on, i dont want to be late."

---

after dinner i stood in the kitchen, sipping hot chocolate as chris helped his mom with the dishes. the rest of his family was in the living room watching the football game as he dried and put the plates away.

"we're glad you decided to join us this year."

his mom said with a smile and i raised my mug to her in cheers.

"thanks again for letting me come over, i don't really get into the holiday spirit so this was a nice change of pace."

i said happily. just as she opened her mouth to answer, nick called her from the other room. i smiled at her, laughing a little bit as she handed chris the last dish to be put away and walking into the other room. he sent me a look before closing the cabinet and leaning into the counter.

"when i called her to tell her you were coming she almost screamed, i just want you to know that."

he said amused, making me blush as i sipped from my mug.

"you flatter me."

i said and he shook his head.

"no, im being serious, she really does love having you around."

i looked down to the counter from my seat at the table, watching him crack his knuckles lightly.

"well its nice to be wanted i guess."

i said, looking to his face and him sending me a knowing look.

"ya know, im sure she'd be okay with you coming around even when its not the holidays."

he said and i raised a brow.

"oh?"

i asked and he let out a nervous laugh.

"if you want, ya know. and of course, i wouldn't mind you sticking around a little longer either."

i set my mug down and sat back in my chair.

"its a holiday miracle."

i joked, making him laugh and shake his head.

"i know its not time for gifts yet bit i got you this and i dont wanna wait any longer for you to see it."

he said, standing upright and reaching into his pocket. i drew my brows in confusion as he walked around the island to me.

"okay?"

i asked as he sat beside me, sliding over the small velvet box.

"chris what is this?"

i asked picking it up slowly. he nodded his head forward.

"why dont you open it and find out."

he said and i sent him a look, opening the box. when i saw what was in it i gasped, looking to him and seeing the happiest face id ever seen from him.

"chris, i cant keep these."

i said about the diamond earrings in the box. he nodded once.

"of course you can, i got them for you for a reason."

i shook my head.

"chris i-"

"i want you to stick around, for a good while, y/n."

he said, cutting me off and i closed my mouth.

"and i want the reason that you do to be me. and i want that reason to also be that we are finally more than friends."

he shook his head.

"what im trying to say is, will you be my girlfriend?"

i felt like i was gonna cry, nodding my head frantically.

"yes, yeah, of course."

i said, staggered and he let out a laugh of relief.

"thank god."

he said, pulling me in for a chaste kiss.

"finally!"

i heard, pulling away and seeing his mom in the doorway with the most excited look on her face.

"mom!"

he said defensively and she shushed him, coming over to hug me from behind.

"welcome to the family dear."

she said as i leaned into her.

"thanks mamma."

i said as she stood up.

"you treat her right young man."

she scolded, pointing a finger at him and making him blush in embarrassment.

"yes ma'am."

he said, crossing his fingers over his heart as she walked back to the sink.

"and besides, im sure she'll keep me in line."

he said with a wink and i laughed, kissing him gently.

"youre damn straight."

[screpdoodle]

Duality - Chapter Eight (The Irony of the Situation is Palpable)

Dinner felt like it had been going on for hours, even though it had only been minutes since Kaos had sat down at the table. He poked and prodded at his food with the back of his fork, the metal slightly tarnished from use, sectioning them off from each other. Charred sheepsteak in one corner of the plate, over-boiled potatoes and soggy string beans in the other. Kaos sighed, leaning his head against the palm of his hand, his nose wrinkling at the smell wafting from his plate. Hot socks and wet starch. No matter how many times he had it, he’d never get used to the scent.

Kaos glanced up from his plate to the seat across from him. There sat the person he had dreaded seeing all night. His father. Kaos’ father had always been a cold man, but tonight he seemed positively glacial. Icy blue eyes seemed to stare straight through Kaos as his father ate wordlessly, the silence punctuated by the clinking of cutlery on porcelain. Kaos would have thought that he would have been chewed out the moment his father laid eyes on him, but the conversation had halted at “hello”. His father threw his long hair over his shoulder, which he had tied in a low ponytail. His usually clean-shaven face was dotted with stubble, though it was barely noticeable against his tanned skin.

“Your food’s going to get cold, Kaos.” His father finally spoke up. “Don’t let it go to waste.”

Kaos furrowed his brow, then looked down to his plate, sticking the end of his fork in the corner of his mouth. When he noticed his father’s gaze was still trained on him, he let out a reluctant grumble, reaching across the table to grab the gravy boat. His fingers barely brushed against the handle, even after he had stood up on his chair to try to get a little more leverage. Kaos strained to reach farther, feeling his father’s eyes boring into his skull, before he slowly pushed the gravy boat towards Kaos. Kaos snatched it up, sitting back down with a huff, before completely dousing his plate in lukewarm, watery gravy. Beside him, Dyskord snickered.

“It’s steak, Kaos, not soup.”

“Shut up.”

Resisting the urge to puke, Kaos scooped up one of the potatoes, the misshapen sphere only held together by its sandpapery skin. He looked to his father once more, scrunched his eyes closed, then took a bite. The gravy did nothing to mask the taste of starch and stale water that seemed to make his entire body seize up. This seemed to satisfy his father, though, as he had returned to his own meal without another word. Kaos stuck his tongue out, wiping the mush off to the best of his ability with his napkin, shuddering as the taste lingered. His mother definitely had a talent for cooking; the potatoes were somehow both undercooked and overcooked at the same time. Not even he could complete a feat like that. Kaos looked around the table, questioning how his siblings were managing to eat this swill with straight faces. Meyhem even seemed to be enjoying it, taking particular glee in chopping the rubbery sheepsteak into slices and hitting them against her plate before eating them. Kaos poked at his own steak, then felt his stomach churn as he swore he saw the charred lump move.

“So, children. Catch me up. What’s happened since I’ve been gone?”

Kaos nearly dropped his fork, feeling his heart stop. He looked up, glancing around the table to see who would speak up first. Was this a setup? Was this his way to catch Kaos red-handed? Make him out to be the villain? He watched as his father adjusted his ascot, then tucked it back into his shirt. He hadn’t bothered changing from his grimy, nature soiled adventuring gear - despite Mother insisting they had to dress up to welcome him back. At least he had taken off his hat for dinner.

“I mean, it’s been nearly a year, what don’t we have to say?” Dyskord fiddled with his collar.

“At least it wasn’t five, right Dad?” Meyhem giggled. “Mum told me that’s the longest you’ve been away!”

“It was only four and a half, Mey.”

“Four and a half, on and off.” Mother corrected. “Your father stopped by when he could, just not for very long.”

Kaos’ father chuckled dryly, dabbing the corners of his mouth off with his napkin. “Now now, let’s get back on topic. How about we narrow it down to today if that helps?”

Kaos couldn’t help but fixate on the patronising tone to his father’s voice, as if it was their fault he had been gone for so long. He didn’t speak up about it though, simply sinking into his chair as if trying to shrink even smaller as he chewed on the prongs of his fork, pretending to eat.

“I got a W on my sheepball practice this morning!” Meyhem piped up through a mouthful of string beans, bouncing up and down in her seat. She had stuck the fork in her hair, the handle sticking out of the mess of curls.

“A double U?” Kaos’ father raised an eyebrow, looking at Meyhem quizzically. “I didn’t know they started grading sheepball practices… The more you know I suppose.”

As Meyhem laughed to herself, Father locked eyes with Kaos, then skipped past him, addressing Dyskord instead.

“How about you, son? Anything interesting happen?”

“Nah, just more of the usual.” Dyskord rested his hands behind his head. He probably would have rested his feet on the table too if it weren’t for the side eye Mother was giving him. “Worked on the speed racer a bit, helped Kaos with his homework like a good big brother, et cetera.”

Kaos rolled his eyes. First day back and Dyskord was already sucking up to him. Typical. It was usually the other way around, Kaos would ‘help’ Dyskord by doing his homework for him back when he was in school; in exchange for favors of course. But after Kaos crashed the ‘Speed Racer 1.0’ into the kitchen, that arrangement they had created was quickly dissolved. Though Kaos would still sometimes help out of the goodness of his heart (or the need for Dyskord not to rat him out to Mother)

“Very good, very good. You’ll have to show me sometime.” Kaos’ father smiled, then he turned his focus to Kaos, his expression becoming slightly more forced. “What about you… Kaos?”

He said his name like it left a bad taste in his mouth. Kaos felt his blood run cold. He quickly glanced to his mother, who had started to open her mouth, but quickly interrupted her.

“It was fine.” He looked to the ground, crossing his arms.

“Just fine?”

“Yes.”

“Nothing of note-”

“No.”

“Don’t interrupt me, boy.”

Kaos sank further down, muttering under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Havok, dear, there’s something we need to-”

Before his mother could finish her sentence, Meyhem tuned into the conversation, looking to Kaos with a confused look on her face.

“What do you mean? Of course there was something of note, you blew up your school!” She blurted out.

The table fell silent. Kaos’ mother was the first to break the silence, exhaling slowly. Kaos shot Meyhem a glare that could cut through steel, though she just grinned back sheepishly. Kaos’ father’s gaze went from confused to frigid in a manner of seconds, looking down at Kaos like he was nothing but a roach.

“Well, I think I should get going,” Dyskord pushed his chair back, getting to his feet, “Wonderful meal, Mother, I’ll be upstairs if anyone needs-”

“Sit, Dyskord.”

“Yessir.” Dyskord sat down quickly, folding his hands in his lap.

Kaos’ father looked around the table at the others, then closed his eyes, processing the words.

“...when were you planning on telling me?” His voice was low, like the calm before the storm.

“I was going to tell you when you got home, sweetheart, but dinner got in the way, and I didn’t want to stress you with the-”

Kaos’ mother was cut off by Kaos’ father getting to his feet, pushing his chair back with a sharp squeak of the legs against the tile. He set his hands down on the table forcefully, causing it to shudder from the force. Kaos could feel beads of sweat trickling down his forehead, but he did his best to ignore them.

“Kaos. We have told you many times about correct behaviour, have we not?”

“Yes, but, it wasn’t only me! Dyskord helped-”

“Kaos. We are not talking about Dyskord. We are talking about you and your actions today. And those actions crossed the line.”

Kaos opened his mouth to interject once more, to try and contradict his father’s statements, but the words got lodged in his throat. The look of displeasure plastered across his father’s face, the cold, hard anger burning in his eyes, made Kaos chest tighten. Slowly, Kaos closed his mouth and slouched down in his chair, letting Father continue.

“I can take rule-breaking. The lying, the stealing, we’ve dealt with those before. But this- this is unacceptable! I have had enough of this deplorable behaviour from you, Kaos. You are turning nineteen this year, and these childish habits are out of the question!” With every word he spat, Kaos’ father’s voice rose. “What image do you paint of our family when you act like a child-”

“Maybe because you treat me like one!” It was Kaos’ turn to shout now. He stood up on his chair, slamming his hands down on the table like his father had; though even with all of his force behind it he could barely even cause the water in the glasses to ripple. “Maybe if you didn’t treat me like a baby, like a disgrace to the family name, I wouldn’t act this way! Ever thought of that, Father!? Hmm?! You said it yourself. I am turning FREAKING NINETEEN! I’M NOT THE FRAIL, SICKLY CHILD I WAS! AND I DON’T NEED YOU TO LOOK AFTER ME ANY MORE!”

“Kaos, I am done dealing with this kind of conduct from you!”

“Whatcha gonna do! Lock me in the dungeons? Throw away the key? Discard me like the piece of trash you treat me like?!”

“Up to your room. Now.”

“Oh, so no threatening me with a life sentence this time, eh Father?”

“NOW!”

Kaos didn’t budge. The seconds ticked past like molasses, before Kaos gave his father the one finger salute and hopped off the chair, making a break for it up to his room. His father’s enraged yelling echoed through the halls after him as Kaos bolted up the stairs, down the hallway and into his room. He made sure to slam the door closed, as loud as he could, behind him. Leaning against the door, he could still feel the shouting rattling through his skull, and the tears brimming in the corners of his vision.

Tick tick tick tick...

Kaos turned over onto his side, facing the wall. His fingers dug into the sides of his head as he scrunched his eyes closed, desperately attempting to fall asleep. So far, nothing had come of it. Kaos groaned, rolling onto his back, staring up at the ceiling with dry, bloodshot eyes. The darkness swirled and twirled around his vision, making shapes on the ceiling. Despite it slipping late into the night, Kaos could still hear his parents down on the ground floor. Bickering. Arguing. Talking about him.

Tick, tick, tick, tick

Kaos dug his fingers in harder, scrunching his eyes shut.

Tick, tick, tick, tick

“Shut. Up.” Kaos grumbled through clenched teeth. How was he supposed to get any rest with that noise growing louder and louder by the second. He flipped onto his front, folding the sides of the pillow over his ears. Not that it would do much good.

Tick, tick, tick, tick

“Shut up!” Kaos growled, slightly louder than before, though his voice was muffled by the pillowcase he was biting on. He buried his face deeper into the pillow, feeling the mattress below with the tip of his nose. No matter how hard he tried, it wouldn’t stop.

Tick tick tick tick tick

“SHUT THE HELL UP!”

With a start, Kaos ripped the pillow out from under him and chucked it to the side with all of his might. It flew over the side of the bed and crashed against the far wall with a muffled thump, followed by the sound of clattering. With a groan, Kaos looked up from his bed and over to where the pillow had landed… on top of his desk. It had knocked over his writing utensil jar, spilling the quills and pencils onto the floor. Kaos exhaled slowly, exasperated and exhausted. He rolled onto his back, then sat up, letting his legs dangle over the edge of the bed. Taking a deep breath, Kaos scrunched his eyes closed and pushed himself off the edge of the bed, landing with a quiet thump. He braced himself for the sharp tingling that flooded up his legs on impact, opening one eye, then the other as he shook his legs out to get rid of the feeling. Kaos walked over to his desk and scooped up the fallen utensils, dumping them back into their container, before snatching up his pillow and starting the walk of shame back to his bed.

“He’s more trouble than he’s worth, sweetheart.”

Kaos froze, hearing his father's muffled voice come through the closed door. He could see the light of the fireplace curling and flickering through the crack, taunting him, drawing him to the outside like a beckoning finger. Ignoring the growing urge to sleep, Kaos walked over to the door and cracked it open, squinting as he peered out from the safety of his room.

“I know, but he is getting better-”

“You call blowing up his school 'getting better’?”

Silence followed those words. Carefully, Kaos crept from his bedroom to the railing, watching his parents’ shadows silhouetted against the carpeted floor of the foyer. They faced away from each other, wrapped up in their own tasks as the crackle of the fire punctuated the quiet.

“...What should we do?” Mother spoke first, “He needs to be educated, but we already tried homeschooling… and he needs more interaction than just his siblings. That room is not a good environment for him.”

“He spends most of his time in there, I swear he’s plotting world domination.”

Kaos scrunched his nose up, kneeling down to get a better view. He pressed his face against the railings, letting his arm hang down between them. So what if he spent almost every waking, and sleeping, moment locked up in there? It was his life, he could do what he wanted with it. And it wasn’t like Father was there often enough to actually care. Judging by the silence falling once again, his mother wasn’t too pleased with the comment either.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I know how touchy you get with those subjects.”

Kaos silently gagged as he watched his father’s shadow embrace his mother’s, forming nothing but an amorphous blob of darkness and PDA. He heard his mother sigh, his father stepping back.

“It’s alright, dear. I’m just... worried. More and more is stuff happening with work and the Portal Masters, and now Kaos...”

“Don’t fret. We’ll sort everything out. I’m sure of it.”

Again, silence. With the ticking finally slipping away, his mind was now free to think. Free to pick up on things that would have usually been blocked. It always seemed like it was put there to distract him, to pull his mind away from the little tidbits of knowledge he overheard. In this case, it was the mention of the Portal Masters…

Over the years, Kaos had heard that title pop up, whether it be through books, passing conversation, or his mother. Tales of the big bad Portal Masters that would eat your eyes if you didn’t clean your room or go to bed on time, though over the years Kaos had stopped believing those little lies, and Mother had stopped telling them; simply commanding Kaos to “mind his own business” or “not to stick his nose in other people’s business” whenever he asked about them. Though, from bits and pieces of conversations he had ‘stuck his nose into’, Kaos had been able to glean that the Portal Masters were the worst of the worst; the ones causing all of the issues throughout the Skylands. Though they didn’t actually eat naughty children’s eyeballs (as far as he knew), they definitely weren’t to be taken lightly.

“I didn’t want to bring this up until the end of the year, but... now I see no other option.”

Kaos was yanked from his thoughts, looking back down through the railings at the sound of the conversation resuming.

“What is it?”

“While exploring a while back, I found a school that may be a bit more suited for our… genius child,” Kaos couldn’t help but cringe at the way his father said ‘genius’, spitting it out like a mushy, over-boiled potato. “And now that going back to the other school isn’t an option, it may be a good choice to look further into it.”

“What’s it called, dear?”

“Glimfeather Prep. Now, before you say anything, I know it’s out of the way, but I really do think this would be good for him. It would give him a taste of reality, and would help crack down on this… behavioral issue of his. We can’t coddle him forever; today only further proves that.”

As if locking him in the dungeon was ‘coddling’ him. Kaos felt more coddled by a pack of wild Chompies trying to pull his flesh off of his bones.

His mother sighed, turning away from his father. “I don’t know, Havok. Maybe we could try homeschooling again. He wouldn't get into trouble and I’m sure I could straighten him out properly this time-”

“Kaossandra, we both know that won’t work.” His father’s voice took on a stern tone, making Kaos tense up, as if expecting the words to punch him in the face. “If homeschooling didn’t work before, there’s no chance it would now.”

“...You’re right, Havok. We can look into it in the morning.” Mother finally caved, hanging her head with a long sigh.

Kaos could almost see his father’s shadow grinning as he put an arm around Mother, the battle already won before Kaos even had a chance to fight. He felt his heart sink, dragged down to the pit of his stomach by the icy hand of defeat. He stared blankly through the bars, his mind grinding to a stop. All of that work, that preparation, that planning… for nothing? Kaos yawned, curling into himself as a weight settled on his shoulders. He could feel his eyelids drooping, but he forced them open again at the sound of heavy footsteps coming towards the stairs. In a panic, Kaos scrambled to his feet, trying not to make a ruckus as he fled back to his room; his heavy heart pounding like a drum, threatening to burst. Internal bleeding would have been the moldy cherry on the fish head sundae, so he was thankful it didn’t. Dragging his pillow along the ground behind him, Kaos completed his walk of shame back to his bed, flopping down face first in his nest of blankets and loose sheets of paper. He had failed. Situational irony at his finest, he thought. Hugging his pillow like one would a plush, Kaos finally let his eyes fall closed, the darkness enveloping his mind as he slipped into the land of dreams.

<- previous chapter | next chapter ->

[btscreatorscorner]

Project Summary: Travel with a few members of the team here at BCC as they sit around a bonfire and reminisce on the days of summer. We will tell you interesting stories about tales that may be a little exaggerated about the members of a group of 7 guys that we have come to love. 

Links to stories and edits will be added as they are posted!! We will reblog the stories and edits as well~ We hope you enjoy!

Seeing each other was honestly a dream. It felt surreal to be able to meet up and camp with so many people from an online network, and they were smiling and laughing as they talked in person (some for the first time ever). The lulling sounds of the ocean waves became a white noise to everyone as they set up their tents and gathered firewood. They were having so much fun talking together that time had passed quickly, evening fast approaching and the sun sinking into the horizon creating a sea of colors in the sky. The sight was truly breathtaking. 

Simi’s and Lillia’s eyes locked onto the waving group down the beach. “Welcome everyone,” Alexis smiled as she returned to the campsite after scoping out the beach. 

“Hey Alexis! How’s the beach look? Any shark teeth?” Lillia asked, returning to chopping onions in preparation for dinner.

"You say that like she'd know. Are we forgetting that she's the ‘blind’ one?" Simi replied, snickering at Alexis's squint.

From the small crowd gathering on the beach came a range of different accents. Some were easily pinpointed and others a little more difficult to locate. Lillia continued guiding everyone down to the beach, within the group was a small and rather tired Jester with a large bag. Situated at the bottom of her bag was some sort of rolled up bedding.

“Excuse me, sorry I’m late, airport customs tried to steal my Vegemite” Jester called, eyes gazing straight past Simi’s shoulder. With no hesitation she dropped her luggage in the sand, kicked off her shoes and sprinted towards the ocean.  

Halting mere inches from the water, she teetered, waving her hands and trying not to topple into the surf from her abrupt stop. 

“Almost jumped in with my phone and your American paper dollarydoos” she shouted, racing back to the group. 

Jester proceeded to empty out her pockets, dumping twenty and fifty dollar notes and her phone into her shoes and running full pelt back to the water. With a warrior cry, she dove into the ocean causing quite the splash before the water stilled ominously.  

There was no sign of her — had she disappeared? An alarming amount of time went by and the group shuffled nervously before she breached with all the elegance of a blue whale gasping and flopping onto her side. 

A few of the others joined Jester whooping as they splashed into the water, others set to tasks they thought were a little more pressing, like designating tents. 

With what little sun they had left, they had managed to hold a few fun activities and lots of conversations.

As the sun finally set the sweet cotton candy colors in the sky darkened and from its depths emerged twinkling lights, the mood changed along with it. Food was tossed on the grill, the inferno causing the aroma to fill the beach. Everyone’s mouth was watering, excited to finally dig in. 

Simi was trying to organize gluten-free buns on one side and regular on the other. “The veggie burgers have finished. I cooked them on their own so it’s all good. I’m about to cook the meat patties — last call for meat-free grilling” Lillia called to the group with a bright smile, expertly flipping the spatula in her hand and getting back to work when there were no complaints.

The large group slowly began making themselves plates of food and once everyone was situated, the group was silent for a brief moment before Alexis decided to strike up some conversation. 

“...I think that would be a great idea, don’t you guys think?” 

The sounds of wood crackling could be heard in the background. Sepha watched as the smoke turned into the black of the burning wood and then to the fire-y orange and undertones of red. It had only turned out that way when she watched as one of the women drizzled more fluid over the fire. 

Looking to her left, she saw a welcoming smile and couldn’t help but feel guilty for not hearing the rest of what had been said.

“Sorry?” Sepha asked, watching as the rest of the group surrounding the fire laughed at her in confusion. 

“What kind of scary stories are you into? You know… typical gory types or mystery, maybe romance—” Lillia repeated emphasizing the last genre. 

“Murder mysteries are the most interesting…” At this, Amunet smiled at Sepha’s response and she couldn’t help but return it. 

“I like romance! You know the ones where people just go camping to see the stars, and the moonlight and it just smells like chocolate and marshmallows.” All eyes followed the light voice which sounded across the fire, belonging to none other than Kyub. Gabi couldn’t help but share a hopeless shrug with Sepha, who poked at the fire with her long stick. 

The fire gave a loud crackle, “Sounds nice...but with this kind of night when there’s no moon and just the sound of nature around you — it kind of makes you want to tell scary stories for the fun of it.” Alexis seemed to agree to Sepha’s last sentiment and continued roasting the marshmallow. 

“You’re right, though. Just darkness and nature, makes me think of murder.” Bubbles started up again which only earned a dry chuckle from across the circle. 

Mae spoke up for the first time, saying “morbid, but sure, what the hell” as she fidgeted with her own stick, apparently inventing something the campers could only assume was a s’more kebab. She seemed to struggle immensely considering the graham crackers didn’t have any holes in them for her stick. But they all watched, intrigued, as Mae continued stacking: cracker, marshmallow, chocolate, cracker, marshmallow, chocolate, cracker—

“What are you doing?” This time, the voice came from just outside the circle, Amunet was returning from her tent wearing a thick navy blue pullover sweater. She was looking at Mae’s invention with an arch to her brow but otherwise unphased. 

“What does it look like?” retorted Mae,  gently waving the kebab around for everyone to see which earned a couple of laughs from everyone as a graham cracker broke off. Mae’s resulting cursing drew even more laughs. 

Lillia began to clap, “A’ight! Let’s start with some stories eh?” She looked around, giving everyone her signature friendly smile before settling on Sepha. “I think you should start some things off Seph, with you know, all that murder mystery enthusiasm you have.” 

“Huh?” She was caught off guard, looking to see everyone anticipating eyes had fallen upon her and when she looked around the waiting company, she could see Kyub giving a soft encouraging smile. The nervous laugh bubbled out of Sepha's lips before she could stop it, and with a scuff of her feet against the sandy ground she was ready. 

“I-um—you guys ever hear that phrase,” The cautionary pause gave Sepha time to think it over, “You ain’t Jiving man?” There was a quick shake of Bubbles’ head to her far left.

“I have no idea what that means.” Jester hummed stabbing at least twelve marshmallows with a long skewer-like-stick. Another culinary mad genius. 

“It’s from the 70s, all that slang shit. Supposed to mean: ‘Is that the truth?’ Or at least the equivalent to it.” That earned hums all around as Sepha licked her lips, wondering how to start off her story. Mae and Jester smiled encouragingly as Sepha shook her head to focus herself before diving in. 

“Well, that phrase kind of relates to this story...at least kind of...maybe...I don’t know,” Sepha watched as Mae grabbed at the remains of a broken graham cracker, her frustration obvious enough in the way she picked at the pieces but it only earned her a cheeky smile from Bubbles who was right next to her. “I’m sure you guys heard of the case of Ted Bundy right? You know, infamous serial killer.” 

“He was fucking insane and not even handsome. I don’t even know what girls saw in him during that time.” As she spoke, Jester’s face twisted like she had bitten into a lemon and all Sepha could do was nod in agreement. She watched the fire again, poking at it and watching the ash burn up to the surface. 

“Well...I’m gonna tell a survivor story. Her name was Carol DaRonch, one of Bundy’s survivors and—”

“We should call her Katie! For, you know, copyright reasons.” This time the voice belonged to Bubbles; it was soft but managed to grab everyone’s attention in time before they could all fully dive into the story. At her suggestion, Sepha nodded and chuckled, poking at the fire once more, sending an array of sparkle-like embers into the night sky. She quickly moved the toe of her boot just enough to not get any of the burnt ash on it. 

Sepha nodded vigorously again and continued.

“Yeah...yeah let’s call her Katie…” she licked her lips once more and looked up to see the dark depths of the night sky there wasn’t a cloud in sight. When the group stared at the fire they could almost hear the sound of Marvin Gaye. The campers could feel the heat wash over them, in a way that reflected the heat of Florida. 

“It was a college party...in the summer of 1974….” 

“Okay, well that was dark. Interesting, but dark. I like it.” Mae had shifted from her seat on a log onto the dirt beneath, slumping with her back against the bark lethargically. Others nodded in agreement.

“Shall we lighten the mood with a happier story?” Bubbles asked, lifting her hands to warm them above the lively fire. It was quiet for a second before Mae spoke up again.

“I have one.” She changed her posture to sit slightly straighter when all eyes were on her. “It’s about a couple that got turned into fairies while camping in the woods one summer night.”

“Is that a drug reference?” Lillia raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“No.” Mae frowned.

“Knowing you, ‘turning into fairies’ could mean anything.” Lillia shrugged, earning chuckles from the group. The fire crackled just as Mae sent a sharp glare at the woman, but her lips betrayed her as they began to curl upwards at the teasing.

“My story has nothing to do with drugs— but it does involve magic.” This caught the attention of the crowd. “Did you know that fairies occupy many wooded areas around the world? Yeah, they tend to hide from humans, but in desperate times they can use their powers to recruit our help, just as they did last summer. 

“It happened somewhere in the Rocky Mountains in August of last year…”

Those scattered around the fire were left captivated by the fantastical tail Mae had spun. They had even paused from their s’more-making escapades, each slowly contemplating the idea of fairies. Some eyed the surrounding area outside the camp, others picked up where they left off preparing more marshmallows for their delicious dessert endeavors. In amongst the slowly roasting marshmallows was one completely engorged in flames. 

“Uh, Jester your marshmallow is on fire?” 

“Yup, that’s how I like them” She grinned brightly with green eyes sparkling full of mischief as she blew out the fireball that had encased the blackened crispy confectionary that once resembled a marshmallow. She shoved it into her mouth and shouted “My turn!”

“I have a good one.” Jester’s sharp grin seemed to be hiding something. “Hold onto your hats, this one is from my trip to Greece. You must always be careful when you travel to another country because anything can happen.

“It started in Mykonos...”

“And that’s what happens when you meet strangers in another country. I should have learned from the first two times I went overseas” Jester shrugged “Wild stuff, though”

“Actually no” Gabi interjected, pointing her finger in a pause gesture while she collected her thoughts. 

“Nope” Kyub’s eyes were wide; she blinked, once, twice in disbelief. Before she shook her head as if trying to rattle the thoughts back into place.

“That’s famously not what happens when you meet strangers in another country” Gabi continued her thought with a small sound of concern. 

“Yeah, I’m with them — that is most definitely not what happens.” Sepha laughed as Jester looked up confused. “Most people don’t go home with strangers, though, so I guess you could be right.”

“I mean yeah, that one was my bad I guess” Jester laughed.

“Who’s next?” Amunet asked excitedly, wishing to listen to more of the nightly stories.

Kyub looked a little nervous but after taking a deep breath she was determined to unleash her summer tale by way of pictures on her phone. “Mine isn’t exactly a story, I have some photos that I took over the summer that I think really tell a story. It was in a cemetery” her voice was sweet and gentle. 

“We would love to see!” Alexis smiled reassuring the young girl. Everyone seemed intrigued by the idea of the photos and how they would tell the story.

“It’s up to interpretation...”

“That is amazing, how did that even happen?” 

“You know the saying, ‘a picture is worth one thousand words’ and you have two” Jester grinned “like he is keeping the flowers a secret or like the flowers are something he loves and cherishes but keeps hidden.” Other voices chimed in:

“It feels so sad.”

“It feels so jarring that the colour is stripped away.”

“I like to think the first image is kinda, like, wistful or reminiscing and then when he looks down it is the reality.”

The entire camp seemed hit with raw emotion. There was a collective look of disbelief and someone sighed “That is so well done.”

Everyone had finished their stories and games for the evening and numbers started dwindling as the late hour took the sleepy camp goer’s. They all were settling for the evening, tents and sleeping bags rustling in the background alongside the occasional giggle, whisper and yawn.

Rolling out the khaki green bedroll, was Jester looking small in the contrasting light from the fire and shadow from the night. 

“Jester, where are you sleeping, do you wanna share a tent?” Gabi asked, deciding to offer a shelter. 

“Nah, I got my swag, I’m gonna lay by the fire and watch the sky.” She laid back and squinted up at the stars. “You should visit my little corner of the world where the stars look like milk.”

Credits: Thank you @youarejesting for working on this masterlist and @kyub for doing the amazing banner! And thank you to all of our writers, editors and betas who worked hard on this project: @youarejesting , @kyub, @dead-starlight, @bubblebunnylia, @sweetnspicy93, @bussy-posts, @jiminniethemarshmallow​, @moccahobi​, @yourmoonchild1023​, @jung-hoseok-s-airplane​, and @hesperantha​ for betaing the masterlist!!! 

[teamhawkeye]

unfiltered and massively spoiler filled thoughts on RE8 below the cut [MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD]:

The Good

The first half of the game

The initial village segment and the castle portion and even “the house in the mist” sections were all pretty taut and well put together. i loved exploring the castle - was more than a little disappointed that you get locked out after Alcina’s boss fight, i didn’t explore it fully D: - and the unexpected terror of Donna’s section really pulled me out of the sense of comfort i had started to fall into, right as i was saying to myself “this hasn’t been scary at all”

The return of some series high notes

Revisiting things in previous Resident Evil games is not always a bad thing. I really enjoyed the return of weapon customization and treasures, those were aspects i enjoyed in RE4 and RE5. The return of the Merchant, in the form of the Duke, was welcome as well. The Duke is a G - he’s a good guy and i respected him most

Graphics, scenery, etc.

It’s a pretty game to look at, there’s no getting around that. I liked the set pieces, especially the Castle portion

Ammo crafting

Now this was something i greatly enjoyed. There are often times you get too much ammo for the gun you use least or you run out of ammo in harder difficulty levels. Being able to collect scrap material and make your own ammo was a very nice addition that i greatly appreciated

The Bad

(some of these are going to be personal opinions about the storytelling and narrative choices, so be prepared for that)

Pacing and direction

RE7 was a return to the series’ “roots”: so back to the footnotes of RE1 and RE2. If that was the case with 7, then RE8 did a speed run of RE3, Code Veronica, RE4, RE5, and RE6 all at once.

I know i said earlier revisiting hallmarks from previous games isn’t a bad thing, and it’s not - but while RE7 did it masterfully with sticking to mainly RE1 and RE2 and pulling in just a few old hallmarks, RE8 went absolutely buck wild in trying to cram in as many past enemy types and encounters as possible. A callback to one standout enemy is one thing, ala the Stalker type that is Mr. X, Nemesis, and Ustanak that Lady Dimitrescu also serves as...but then also the giant water monster from RE4, the Executioner of RE5, the “chainsaw” enemies (here, drills instead) of RE4, RE5, and RE6. hell, even the Lycans after a time started to feel very Las Plagas-esque in their ability to use weapons and track and coordinate. And you can’t tell me you didn’t see very similar designs/similarities between Miranda’s boss battle that you did with Alexia’s in Code Veronica...

The pacing started off solid with the initial few segments, but quickly seemed to lose its footing once it oscillated violently between wildly different styles of play and storytelling and didn’t regain its stride the rest of the game. One moment, it’s classic RE. The next, it’s P.T. + Outlast. The next, back to “a mash up of action and horror, leaning more on action” styles of RE4 + RE5. Then the finale straight up started to feel like an entirely different game before you reached that final boss fight - it felt like i was jerked in one direction one minute, and a completely different one the next

There is a lot of exposition and explaining that doesn’t happen until legit the last 45 or so minutes. Not new for the series to withhold information until the back half of the game, but there was legit almost no build up to the very sudden plot bombs that got dropped successively in the last throes of the story. Previous games rewarded you with fragments at a fairly even pace - i felt like all of RE8′s story gets dropped on you in a single monologue and a handful of notes just before the endgame

I’m not even gonna go that deep into how hard it was to keep up with all the different infection methods the mold managed to have - it was just A Lot and i’ve played a lot of Resident Evil in the past, so i know just how many different ways a single pathogen can have on humans and animals...and it still felt excessive

I honestly felt like the third segment with Moreau wasn’t even necessary. they really played up these “four lords” to not have them do a whole lot of anything. and i know there’s always been mini bosses before you actually reach the final Big Bad, but seriously, Moreau’s segment can be blitzed through in a span of 20 minutes or so first playthrough. the castle segment with Dimitrescu was solid, the house segment with Donna was nightmare fuel, lmfao, but still engaging and challenging. by the time you get to the third and sprint right through, you’re left wondering what the point of it even was. you can tell that was the least cared about narrative arc in the whole story

A giant point of note is that a huge chunk of RE8′s story could have been avoided or altered had Chris just actually fucking spoken to Ethan at the start about what the fuck was going on. And for him not to is completely unlike Chris past RE5 and RE6, that made no narrative sense whatsoever. Just another opportunity to pile on some more trauma and guilt onto Chris’ shoulders by making him “responsible” for Ethan being pushed to far and dying as a result

“Ethan actually ‘died’ when first meeting Jack Baker and was completely taken over by mold, it’s a big secret to everyone but Mia. also, he’s gone too far, there’s no saving him, he had to die”

You’re going to tell me that Ethan still being infected or impacted by the mold from RE7 is some big secret??? did the BSAA not run tests on him and Mia to make sure they were back to normal levels??? how do they not know?!? the government was able to figure out that Sherry’s exposure to the G Virus altered her permanently and study her healing capabilities, how the fuck was that not the same with Ethan???

Also, how is it that the mold’s impact on him is so much higher? he was at the Baker estate for like, 2 days max and while, yes, he did sustain some serious damage, he never fell prey to Eveline’s control and showed absolutely no signs of infection outside of being able to heal/use his hand after it was chopped off. and depending on how you played RE7, the only major injury he sustains aside from probable bruising or broken bones is that hand being cut off as mentioned before

You’re also going to tell me of the number of Resident Evil characters who have been infected with viruses and parasites and what have you and have been cured or had the negative effects negated, Ethan was the only one “too far gone” to be saved??? Jill got infected with T Virus, Claire has been infected by two separate viruses, Leon has survived a parasite infection, both Zoe and Mia were exposed to mold for years and seem to be okay...why is it that Ethan was the only one who couldn’t be saved? because he “died”? how in the world did he get infected so fast - he’d been there an hour, max! - that he was able to be revived in the first place and it wasn’t even noticeable that he had changed at all???

“the BSAA can’t be trusted anymore, they’re involved in shady shit, like deploying bioweapons into battle”

we already went through this a bit back in Revelations 1 with the blackmailed director and double agents. but to full on go “well, the entire organization is now dirty” after it was legit founded by Chris, Jill, and Barry to combat bioterrorism really sits wrong with me. all i can think is that they are running out of villains at this point and now are poising the BSAA to be a Big Bad in the future. which, again, doesn’t sit right with me

Retconning

Tying Ozwell E. Spencer back to Miranda wasn’t such a huge dealbreaker for me, but it is a bit obnoxious to now have to go back and amend “he came up with the idea for Umbrella and its pursuits with Marcus and Ashford, its other founding members” to “well, he didn’t actually come up with the idea for Umbrella and its research with Marcus and Ashford, he already had the idea from his time spent with Miranda uwu”

More so, the retconning around Eveline is a bit of a pain in the ass. So she only came about as a result of Miranda crossing paths with the Connections and giving them some of her mold to work with? And Eveline was only a failed experiment to Miranda in her attempt to be able to transfer her daughter’s essence/subconscious/whatever into a living child? And there are pictures of ‘10 year old” Eveline in Miranda’s possession - how come Evie didn’t have any memory of her at all (speaking of Evie, why the fuck did she appear in 8 briefly as a hallucination [?] to explain to Ethan his condition???)

How are you going to try and tell me that some village from prior to the 19th century was using the “Umbrella” symbol and Spencer just snatched it for himself? that was just stupid, honestly - even more stupid how Ethan didn’t recognize the symbol, despite flying off in a Blue UMBRELLA helicopter at the end of RE7

Mocap and cutscenes

Was it just me or did parts of this game look severely unpolished compared to RE7??? some parts looked good - like the Dimitresus all seemed to be rendered very well. It became very noticeable to me in the back half of the game, mainly with Chris and Mia, but a little with Heisenberg too, where their mouths didn’t match up with the dialogue a lot and they looked a lot less put together than previous scenes and characters. Mia in particular, i was struck by how much better her mocap seemed in RE7 compared to RE8. Maybe because there was a bigger ensemble cast in 8 that they spread themselves a little too thin in that regard?

[cake-in-a-tin]

My thoughts rewatching all the Harry Potter movies back to back

forgive typos, and be warned - there's a lot...

the first two have a smaller amount of thoughts for some reason, idk why

 Philosopher’s Stone

teeny harry haha

that snake is so beautiful

no post on sundays bro

hi hagrid

how did the dursleys get off the island tho

aw harry is so teeny and innocent

ollivander’s entrance is so iconic, like i want to enter every room like that

hermione is so great already

and you are…

‘you’ve got dirt on your nose by the way, did you know?’

haha tiny malfoy

TREVOR! + neville

that death glare mcgonagall omg

oof snape really hates harry

it's leviooosa not leviosaaa

troll in the dungeon!!!

hi fluffy

ew norbert is gross to be completely honest

creepy malfoy staring at the window

malfoy being sassy wow

��nighty night…’ whyyy filch?

oof ron are u ok

bye hermione

voldemort is kinda cute with his big eyes

harry really just killed quirrell jeez man

alas earwax

Chamber of Secrets

ah go away dobby don't be weird

yes the car with fred and george

oof bye uncle vernon haha

ah awkward let go of harry lockhart we hate u

haha ginny is iconic

rons face when the train comes omg

ron can drive? that's impressive…

ooh a voice scaryyy

hey colinnn

eat slugs - yas

let go of his arm lockhart

uh oh colin is petrified

hahaha snape annihilated lockhart wow

gosh moaning myrtle is annoying

tom riddle is such a weirdo hgh

ew spiders

lockhart is hilarious when he has lost his mind wow

yas fawkes

ew he just stuck the sword right through its head didn't he...

powerful sock…

go away lucius ur annoying

Prisoner of Azkaban

ugh aunt marge blow up already

sassy harry tm

tom is iconic

so is crookshanks tbh

the knight bus kinda sucks in the movie tho

yess lupin hi

ugh shut up trelawney

ah the best scene aka harry and draco being sassy towards each other

‘it’s killed meh!’

the other best scene: lupin, boggarts and the record player

love when they are eating sweets and just being good friends

yay marauders map - iconic fred and george

nice snowman also

my dad didn't strut and neither do i - yeah right...

yes leave hermione

trelawney stop being creepy

take that malfoy

harry third wheeling

yas remus save sirius

"old married couple" haha snape knows what's up

die peter lol

haha yes they will chop your leg off ron definitely

ugh harry stop being noble

haha yes mentioning the marauders

ew stop peter

oh no werewolf

sirius is so dramatic haha he cant stop turning into a werewolf my dude

bad idea yes ron i agree

oof fight him sirius

no sirius!

the dementorssss

no harry that's not a real patronus dude

nom eat the little soul nugget nice

ah no they're gonna kiss sirius nooo

scabbers did it ok... shut up ron

dumbledore just smacking ron's broken leg and being mysterious

and enter many time paradoxes

‘this is not normal’ hahahah wow harry

yess save buckbeak dudes

yas beautiful patronus dude

this music tho wow

au revoir sirius

I wonder how many stairs they ran up...

poor ron so confused

that bird just got squished no

don't leave lupin

please tell harry about the marauderss

i love lupin omg

ooh a firebolt thanks godfather

the ending face wow

Goblet of Fire

ooh nagini hello

yay frank you will die soon so enjoy your tea

dr who!

ah voldemort's creepy little hand tm

yes ron is covering his non existent boobs wow

hermione's so mad 4 some reason

yes cedric diggory in a tree

everyone has long hair why

isn't just any manky old boot mate

cedric amos and arthur are show offs

feet off the table!

i luv magik

wow krum is enjoying himself

Why is draco wearing a suit?

lucius is very ominous

think ur in luvvv ron

is there no winky in this? sad

harry is so awkward omg

bye hedwig find sirius even though the ministry cant

oh bonjour beauxbatons

wow so dramatic here come the durmstrang peoples

wow run filch ao athletic

ew the beauxbatons entrance is so weird and compared to the durmstrang one is kind of sexist

ow poor flitwick a fork to the hand that's gotta hurt

moody is so dramatic

dumbledore already shouting nice

why does he have so many bugssss

ah that is a creepy spider

poor neville he has to have cuppa with moody that sucks

yess fred and george back at it again

hermione ruining the vibe

HARRY POTTER DIDJA PUTCHA NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH dumbledore asked calmly

what would happen if harry was just like "nope"? would he die that would be interesting

igh rita skeeter go away ur creepy my dude

hate it when ur eyes glisten with ghosts of ur past

yas sirius in a fire

"who are u talking to?" "im vlogging ron" (how it should have gone. harry should have a youtube channel just saying)

poor harry a third wheel yet again between madame maxime and hagrid ew

wow draco in a tree, why? so many people in trees this movie

"nyaaah"

malfoy as a ferret is my favorite character

my father will hear about thissss

omg rita get outttt

fight the dragonnnn

feel like someone should have stopped the dragon after it broke free... idk *shrugs*

it would be so boring if u were watching the tournament because you can't see anything that's happening most of the time, only for the 1st task and a bit if the 3rd task.

knew u wouldnt die harry, lose a leg - or an arm -pack it in all together? nevaaaaa

god just open it harry

ron ur so awkward...

harry spitting out his drink will never not be funny to me

oh yes the gorgeous dress robes

poor ron has it tough, having to dance with mcgonagall and having ro wear those robes...

*babbling bumbling band of baboons*

the twins are hilarious in this haha

aw neville!

snape is really violent can't 2 boys discuss their love lives or lack thereof in peace

ron's jealous of viktor krum haha

love harry just being so confused and saying "spectacular" when cedric speaks to him.

given the fact harry literally told him the task cedric didn't do that much to help.

ugh no myrtle stop

harry going "do i" when neville tells him he seems tense is such a mood

harry's hair when he was swimming haha

just leave them harryy omg too noble

harry holds his breath for a long time after his gills go away - longer than i can

fred and george making fun of harry having 'moral fiber' is exactly what i would do in the situation

mr crouch stop being weird

yes finally singing hoggy warty hogwarts

oh hi mr crouch, taking a nap in the forest are u? cool

i would say do not stick your face in the pensieve but that's just me

Dr Who changed a bit since i last saw him, he's a bit mental now...

snape is so iconic wow

"bubble juice sir?" bahaha sassy harry back at it again

this music is so great

i would freak out if i had to go in that maze it's so creepy and feels like it would be so filled with jumpscares just nope

"a cauldron? What are u guys gonna do - eat me? that's gross!" feels like it should be in the movie

aw baby voldemort is so cute

ugh just chop off another finger or something wormtail jeez so much drama

how is voldemort still alive - the cauldron is on fire??

the movie is also really missing voldemort dancing with the death eaters

u dont have hair my dude stop caressing ur bald head

voldemort has lovely long fingernails

lucius' blonde hair poking out from beneath his hood is so funny 4 some reason.

"i can touch u now" is really not a good sentence

bit awkward to return with a dead body...

its alright harry *shakes his head violently*

uh oh that's not professor moody its barty jr

Order of the Phoenix

halfway done woo

the intro music is still a jam the 5th time

that is big whinging not little whinging

hi big D what a great nickname...

uh oh dementorrrrr

yes mrs figg the most iconic character in the movies

harry looks a lot like frodo baggins

yay the order is rescuing him finally

yes remus and sirius and mrs weasley and everyone

ooh kreacher

jeez hermione attack him

crookshanks attacking the extendable ears is just what my cat would do

cute godfather godson moments yeass

arthur weasley trying to function as a muggle is just so wholesome

ugh not umbridge ew

yes clear those charges

aw padfoot yess

wow that's a lovely coat sirius

voldemort looks great in a suit wow

didn't harry see his parents die? why couldn't he see the thestral before?

yes luna!

oh shut up umbridge oh my goddd

yes ron u tell seamus like a good friend

sassy harry reaching full potential

ugh umbridge sucks wow

so evil torturing harry

yes weasleys wizards wheezes

luna is so pure and perfect

the friendship between her and harry is so amazing

yas tell umbridge, mcgonagall

trelawneys bad but she doesn't deserve to be kicked out by umbridge

oof professor dumbledore just straight up ignored harry

yes harry just say you're rubbish that will make people think your sane

yes hermione break the rules!

oof ginny is jealous of cho liking harryyyy

yay the room of requirement!

dumbledores army is so fabuloussss

nigel is amazing and i love him

wow hermione just knocked out ron haha

harry potter the boy who made cheesy inspirational speeches

wow ginny is so powerful

harry and cho are so awkward eeehhhh

just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon *cringy forced laughter*

occlumency lessonnssss yay what fun

cute christmas scenes wow

ooh the family tree and sirius' backstory yay

harry u aren't becoming like voldemort u are going through pubertyyyy its hormonesssssss

yay hagrid finally

oh no it's bellatrix get ready for crazinesss

poor sirius he keeps getting the blame for everything that's so unfair

is neville tall or is harry short, because there is a huge height difference

aw all the patronuses are so cute

uh oh here comes umbridge...

noo they are captured and dumbledores lying waaa

oof dumbledore is as sassy as harry at some points - "dumbledores got style"

no umbridge is heaf and shes fricking evilllll

grawp yess. hes kind of cutee

ron is jealous of grawp bahaha

sheesh snape chill

yes a bit of maraudrrss aahhhh

thats it? noo

aw fred and george comforting a little boy is too cute!

yes fred and george!!! disrupt those OWLS!!

no harry! he doesn't have sirius nooo

yes hermione fake it till u make it ( or until u get umbridge attacked by grawp )

yay the centaurs are here as well get herrr

'i must not tell lies' the sass omg

jeez how many prophecies are there wow

pranked, harry dude ur kind of rubbish

well done ginny you've made all the prophecies fall

yh id rather watch my friends die than give u the prophecy, don't really like them tbh

yas sirius!

the order yes

you're beautiful sirius

noooooo siriusss 😭😭😭😭

yooo voldemort my dudeee

hope the ministry has a massive roomba

the DA just come in to see harry writhing on the floor and are like 'cool'

nice one fudge finally realised he's back cool, cool

ah yes angsty harry tm

aw poor luna, her shoes are all stolen.

luna is an icon though

we have something voldy doesn't - noses hahahaha

Half Blood Prince

uh oh the dark mark is here

death eaters as well fun

fenrir greyback!!

oh no not this bridge! i went across it and i was scared af

dumbledore appearing out of nowhere is so funny

ew slughorn no

wow i need dumbkwdored tidying spell so badly

slughorn collecting people is kind of creepy tbh

im so glad i dont have as many staircases as the weasleys

oh yes narcissa and bellatrix being shifty

oops snape u probs shouldnt have done that

yess fred and george!!!

weasleys wizard wheezes looks amazinggg

uh not cormac mclaggen

oooh its "draco and mummy"

no fenrir we wanted to look at draco stroking a cabinet

yes arnold!

yes draco malfoy is a "creepy bloke" ronald

why is draco always wearing a suit??

yes draco is going to pigfarts!

ouch why would u stomp on his nose??

yez luna save him

noo dont let snape teach defense against the dark arts!! i miss lupin...

poor harry having to do potions again ugh

dun dun dunnn the half blood prince

poor seamus stuff is still exploding

haha dumbledore ships hermione and harry lol

baby tom riddle is creepyy

tom riddle and slughorn were bffs wow so cute

edgy draco in his loki suit

aw rons the only one listening

ugh cormac mclaggen is so gross nooo

haha ron is so rubbish at quidditch id be just like him

'the binding is fragile' hahaha excuses

harry sleeps with his potions book hheehe wow

wow sneaky draco

rons face when hermione mentions her snogging him haha.

uh oh cursed necklace alert

harry pottrr the boy who just knew

snape is so sarcastic wow icon (not really tho ew)

oh god they're talking about skin aahhh

noo harry stop being awkwarddddd sit downn

ew cormac stop eating profiteroles so suggestively ugh

haa rons outfit

ew lavender stopp

oh yes "felix felicis" makes ron great at quidditch

poor hermione she just loves ron thats all

aw hermione and harrys friendship is so nice

angsty draco standing in a tower

"bUt I aM tHe ChOsEn OnE" god harry so pretentious

luna is the coolest person there is, nice work harry

draco in a suit again looking sad he does that a lot

no draco ur apple!

oh nvm its back dw

ugh cormac sucks.  hermione why??

at least cormac did 1 good thing and vomited on snapes shoes

draco was lurking omgggg thats his vibe now

cant break an unbreakable vow - figured that out for myself thanks (sassy harry)

ew lavender stopppp

ooh noo ginny dont feed him a mince pie awkwarddd

thanks ron

stoppp ginny. harry can tie his own shoelaceee

why do they need to burn the burrow this doesnt happen in the books #not canon

wow everyones sassy including hermione now

also lav is an awful nicknname

aha tom riddle is still creepy

okay thats a lie slughorn u told him about horcruxes

uh oh ron loves romilda vane oop

harry thinks the moon is divine haha

Ron hugging a pillow then falling off the sofa in the background oh my gosh

slughorn is so useless

haha snapes face while rons saying hermiones name

draco being edgy again woowwww

lavender that is a death glare if ever i saw one

oh no draco is crying in a bathroom now like a moody teenager

let him cry in peace harry god man

'nyaaah' is dracos go to dueling sound

oops harry u kinda killed him a little bit.

no this is so awkwarddd ginny dont

just kiss like in the books after the quidditch match thats way better

yes the felix felicis

love harry potter like this its so funny

‘harry!’ ‘sir!’

not to mention the pincers *gestures awkwardly*

nice speech harry, now u have answers on the horcruxes

ooh back to tom riddle being creepy

yas harry and dumbledore field trip quality student teacher time

snape being edgy now wow everyone is in this movie

oops foreshadowing...

harry has precious blood apparently?

yay boat ride and smoothie

harry potter not harry water bro

noo bad just aguamenti right into his mouth Harry

yay new friends!!!

dumbledore ur gonna set harry on  fire careful my dude

ooh death eaterz

did draco change intot hat suit to impress the death eaters?

oop bye dumbledore

harry brooding in dumbledores office

yess RAB get wrecked voldemort

harry ur thick apparently?

aw cute friendship

Deathly Hallows Pt. 1

rusty logo wow

‘ello whoo are u

oh scrimgeour hi i dislike u dude

veey dramatic

aaawww hermione no

yas dudley being nice to harry and vernon listening to him and leaving

ron brooding wow

bye parents sad face

wow vernons old man

ooh its snapeee he looks loke he has a lot of contpur on

yay snape has a savey seat

pius is a great name

uh oh i dont wanna give u my wand voldy

dracos face haha

ugh do they have to watch nagini eat professor burbage gross

the dursleys house looks so empty

yay the cupboard happy memories and his baby toys cuteee

moody thinks that harrys gorgeous.

yay remus and tonksss

shut up mundungus

blimey hermionee

'just trying to diffuse the tension' hahaha lol

wow so many harrys lol

yh  wouldnt want to go in the motorbike tbh

uh oh death eaters

wow parkour harry

nooo hedwig - the saddest bit of this movie

yo voldemort wassup

oops the pylons fell down... just fly away good idea

nooo george's ear

jeez lupin y are u being crazy dude

george is saint like and holy aw so cute brother moments

uh oh bye moody u were a bit creepy tbh

ha lol harry a lot of people are going to die for u

harry stop being moody omg

wow george way to ruin the vibe dude

yo minister leave pls

ron just being ungrateful - u can turn out lights now ron lucky u

yay hermione you get a childrens book thats great

wow a snitch lucky u harry. hes so pleased with that. little does he know.... its a resurrection stone bro

give him the sword man

yay nice wedding

luna interrupting deep thoughts casually

xenophilius is creepy

ron and hermione staring at each other is a mood.

way to crash a wedding dude

hermione is the most competent out of all three it has to be said

i really want that bag of hermiones

shouldnt have said voldemory now the death eaters are here whoops

"hermione" *strokes face awkwardly*

sassy harry yas

oh yes grimmauld place

oof voldys having wand struggles

hi kreacher please leave ur creepy thanks

aw siriuzz room so cute sad hes dead

regulus arcturus black yay

ugh mundungus fletcher u suck dude

aw neville

oh no pie dude is the minister if magic now

uh shut up umbridge

feel like u dont need that many posters

sentimental piano playing wow

yo dobbyyyy

umbridge ruins everything omg

ron - u dont have a wife

haha harry getting out of the lift and walking in such a weird wayyy bahahaha

ew umbridge has moodys eye groosss

yas the ugly plates are still in her office

oops ron u just kissed that random dudez wife

nice suit harry

ouch splinch

lovely tent

kill the locket dude

dean thomas is on the run ooh fancy

yh harry stop letting voldemort in dude

harry stop being so moody bro

ooh watch snape on the map thats not creepy.

oh no snatchers...

ah u almost got caught dudes

ron ur so weak wow cant apparate or anything

lot of missing people...

haha a quarantine haircut

yes hermione ur brilliant

oh god ron stop chill

bye ron i guess lol

poor hermione

yas awkward dancing timee

awkward stares

kissy for the snitch. he must really miss ginny

uh oh its opening at the closee

vfd!!! an eyee!!!

ooh godrics hollowwww

oop its christmas eve whoopssss

oh a deathly Hallows

parents grave yay!

ur bathilda? nope im a snake boiii

bathilda is 1 creepy lady

what are u saying my dude????

ew snake lady

chaira are good defences agaunst snakes definitely

ah she jumped at them

looks like a nice campsite

wow now hermiones being sentimental

oop she sat on harrys wand

wait nvm

oooh a doe a deer a female deer

dont drown harry that would be awkward

omgbharry stop undressing

oof the locket strangling him

yay ron saved him yas dude

ron kill the horcrux

u tell him hermione

nice ron tell them u have been hearing voices

yes go see xenophilius the crazy dudee

aw ron ur so awkwsrd bro

their house is so cute

shut up ron god

yay we know about the deathly hallows now

xenophilius is so suspicious tho

why would you say his nameeee

noo snatchers

ooo ominous malfoy manor

draco dont doo ittt

yay dobby!

ah no hermione

aw draco looks sad in his little loki suit

yay dobby 'maiming and seriously injuring'

nooo dobby! he deserved so much better 😭

"hey guys welcome back to my unboxing video today we are opening dumbledores grave"

yay the elder wand wow

giving away ur position a bit dude by shooting stuff in the air

Deathly Hallows Pt. 2

snape hi ur brooding

lots of dementys

dramatic music

waaa dobby

yay bill and fleur

yo griphook what up

the sword was in a river bro

madam lestrange? no!

oops thats not dracos wand anymore wowww

wands are just like 'ya hiiii we have feelings too'

oop ollivander knows about the elder wand bros

ron looks great with a moustache tho

harry just broke the law jeez...

wow that cart looks fun

wow they fell from the cart nice

oh no ron broke the law too whoops

yay a dragon

lots of gold nice

yay the cup

oops they messed up nkw everything is multiplyinggg

griphook y are u evil my dude

yay ride a dragon

oops they fell no

yas they escaped

uh oh voldemort is onto them

that's a lot of dead people

oh no everyones looking for them

ah aberforth hi!

the other part of harry's mirror!

oop dumbledore was a secretive dude

ariana yas

neville!

i love neville hes so great now

yay all of the DA

luna!

ginny is being awkward

'shut up seamus' hhaha

aaa snape yooo

snape stop being a meanie

stop being angry harry

yas queen! mcgonagall!!!!

yay

uh oh voldemort is whispering to harry again

stop voldemort you need a cough sweet

yes everyone protect him

haha filch is a blithering idiot wow

i love mcgonagall

run harry

boom! seamus blow stuff up!

yay the knight peeps

uh yes theyre protecting harry and everyone

yes luna is so smart and iconic

go talk to a ghost harry

thats a lot of death eaters

go away voldemort no one likes u

yes go stab a crown harry

yay remus

fred and george aw

ron fake parseltonguing lol

nooo quidditch

lol peeps got disintegrated

go hermione stab the cup

yessss kisss!!!!

tonks and remus together wow

wow i hate voldemort's bald head with the weird veins

run neville!

yay ginny and neville

yay a little kiss for harry!

ooh the room of requirement

edgy draco back at it again

ooh the diadem

no dracooo

yh draco y didnt u give harry away?

aw ron loves hermione

uh oh fireee

nice work goyle

bye crabbe lol

yay hes saving draco

nice killed the tiara

oops voldemorts getting angry

snapes gonna dies dudes

runnnnn guys

lavenders being eaten

yay aberforth

yeet snapes dying

gosh naginis violent

“ew snape sorry i dont like u even tho u loved my mum” - what harry should have said

woops bye snape

freds death is too sad

nooo remus and tonks

go watch snapes life my dude

yess the always bit (i dont like snape but its iconic)

poor harry

its so sad that hes just sacrificing himself

his eye contact with ron omg im cryinggg

ooh yay his familyyy

he should have said 'its muffin time’ to the resurrection stone and it would be like 'cool bro here's your dead family'

u got this harry

yay teddy mention

"until the end" yas james

lets do this harry

wow voldemort why are you standing like a weirdo

yes harry be a brave man

byee harryyyy

oooh hes alive still

hi dumbledore

yes harry is a brave brave man

cool explain it to him dumbledore

bye dumbledoreeee

wow voldy u weakk bro

yas dracos alive get off me

aw neville u got this man

voldy yeeted that dead giant wow

ew snakey boi

nooo hes dead waa

poor draco such an awkward hug

oop neville what?

ok ur just making a speech that fine carry on

voldys very polite for a villain

yay harrys alive

haha dieee

run lucius wow

oof destroying the school harry really

naginis coming run hermione

u got dis neville

noo ron

yes molly!!!

y r u hugging dudes u arent friends... did u forget? oops..

ouch

bye snake boiii

neville is so iconic omg

kill him HARRY

noice

haha disintegrate voldemort

byeee

dont breathe in voldemort guys

wow harrys a mess

yay hagrid

hermione and ron are so sweet aw

harry yeet the wand

wow draco owns the wand and now harry has it

YEET

aw the friendship

yess 19 years later

wow that hair harry

all of their haircuts are tragic tbh...

should be albus remus potter... just sayinggg

THE END DUDESSSSS

[sylvanas-girlkisser]

dinosaur-unicorns said:

No hate, I’m genuinely curious -  are you suggesting the sword in the right would make a better frostmourne? Or that it’s just a better sword design in general? They seem like apples and oranges to me.

Not necessarily a better Frostmourne, just a better sword design in general. TBH i think Frostmourne is butt ugly, and that’s primarily because of the confusing silhouette imo. There’s so much going on, you have to look at it for a couple of seconds before your brain (or at least my brain) even fully registers it as a sword. (Also, the proportions are all kinds of messed up but i digress.)

If I had to redesign Frostmourne, i would base it off a Flamberge, like A470 from the Wallace collection which is pictured below. (Can you tell where i get most of my weapon references from?)

However i would still lean into the skull motif just in more practical ways. For example the pummel would be an obvious place to stick that ram skull, and why stop at a few runes on the blade when you can engrave the entire thing with the faces of suffering victims?

I would probably also make the blade look less wavy more sawtoothed. This is entirely historically inaccurate, and also really impractical (its gonna get stuck on whoever you’re trying to chop down), but it makes it read as more menacing to the average viewer while also communicating why its not just a straight or curved blade - to inflict jagged wounds, which is very much in line with the whole Arthas/Death Knight thing.

I’m by no means a great artist, but im kinda tempted to sketch this out now :3c