#its so obviously based on a fanfic
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Ive been reading a lot good things lately so I have to balance it with bad stuff. In other words I'm rereading shadowhunters
#with a purpose! i will make the post i talked about last week#but i need to refresh myself on the stupid lore of this series#soooo much to talk about i wanna liveblog it here but i fear that would make me take longer to finish#and i dont want to take more than a week per book#half done with book 1 already#its so obviously based on a fanfic#every time theres even a hint of good writing i go 'wow congrats clare' because its so rare#clary: uses an slightly creative phrase to describe something that ties into her character being an artist#me: woww well done#now i see the jace/draco similarities and it changes a lot for me#its so silly sometimes
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everyday got a noose around my neck because i will find the best koitsuki golden kamuy artist ever and then immediately see they also draw sugimoto x asripa. will the pain ever end
#I HATTTTTTTTTTTTEEE SUGIMOTO X ASRIPA#I DONT FW IT AT ALL#WHY. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY#WHY DOES SUGIMOTO ONLY GET THE WORST FUCKING SHIPS#HE EITHER HAS TO EPSTEIN HIS ADOPTED DAUGHTER OR HATEFUCK A CAT#WHY.#im sorry i think ogata x sugimoto in canon is brainrot because they dont like eachother at all#it doesnt work bevause ogata doesnt like sugimoto and sugimoto doesnt like ogata#i fw ogata x sugimoto only if its the yaoi ogata that me and wiener made up#where like. its ogata in character but he was hugged by sugimoto in the deerskin instead#and because hes touchstarved and an insane person the feeling of oxytocin literally acts like heroin in his brain#so he comes out of it as a cocaine addict and is like i need to make sugimoto love me to get more heroin#and he doesnt love sugimoto he just is like that is the most efficient pathway for this#and along the way he slowly falls in love#but yeah basically he wakes up from that deerskin and suddenly hes a yandere#based off a fanfic i read#thats literally the only reason i can conceptualize ogata x sugimoto convieably working#but its that very specific circumstance. 1/10000000 million universes#in canon ogata x sugimoto fucking sucks bc obviously that didnt occur
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not a burnt out gifted kid or a regular student but a secret third thing (really fucking stupid)
#i got at least 1 A on every single report since grade 5#so thats what 14 reports#i averaged like Bs for most stuff#so obviously thats like good#however in retrospect i did not and still dont understand the majority of things we got taught i winged everything#ngl i think its just because of how much school stuff is more based on memory#so you cram study something pass the test or whatever#and then immediately forget it#also ngl my not understanding anything is probably why i almost failed maths last year because it was built on stuff from past years#i dont think the reading fanfics through most lessons and occasionally showing up a bit high helped though#i passed everything this year though and now i never have to do anything again#jk im doing uni next year#hopefully a fine arts degree though#correction i meant grade 3#also in retrospect wild that literal children are being graded like that#especially since parents (mine included) would/will punish like actual children for getting just a pass and being where they should be
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oh on the topic of chappell roan i wanna talk about how i think the discourse about mlm ship content featuring "good luck babe" is dumb.
yes the song itself is about a lesbian whose ex girlfriend is in a compulsory heterosexual relationship, and as such wlw relationships and womanhood and femininity will always be intrinsically relevant and crucial to the song's meaning and importance (especially concerning the phrase, "you're nothing more than his wife", as the status of being "just his wife" is much different from the status of being "just her husband" in a cultural & social sense), but mlm also experience compulsory heterosexuality and thus may heavily relate to the song; and personally, i don't think it's such a bad thing that they relate to it.
i feel like i should also mention that i'm not specifically only talking about cisgay men either; trans men (both binary and nonbinary) also experience the social pressure of feeling as if they need to "prove" they're "real men", which is often equated with being in a heterosexual relationship, and from what i've seen in my own experience online it's become normal for others to mock and belittle men for "never having felt a woman's touch" or getting "no bitches" (among other vaguely comphet & misogynistic "haha funny meme" statements). additionally, men are still relentlessly bullied for being gay. for as many allies and fictional mlm enjoyers there are, there's 10 more school bullies that harass their peers for their sexuality, 10 more parents who kick their sons out for trusting that their family will accept them for who they are, and 10 more dudebros that regularly make homophobic jokes to the discomfort of their closeted friends. even men in mlm relationships are forced into traditional heterosexual roles by others' expectations; i.e., the "who's the man in the relationship" question, the expected/"ideal" mlm couple being a feminine twink and a masculine "real" man (especially when one of the men in the relationship is trans)
in my opinion, i think that while chappell roan's music is heavily based off of being a lesbian and being in relationships with other women (since she is one herself), it's also representative of the general queer experience, and thus relating to it and making art dedicated to it shouldn't be reserved for just one group of people. no amount of animatics or edits posted on twitter or tiktok or anywhere can erase the original context of the song.
additionally if you don't like when people make such content featuring the song, you can just opt to ignore it or block the person who created the content rather than calling them "misogynistic" or "lesbophobic" for relating to a song. it takes much less time and effort.
#scary crane rambles#not fandom#let's get serious#im not tagging this im scared lol#but yeah contrary to popular belief men can be ''nothing more than his wife'' too. especially trans men#god the horror stories i've heard of trans men getting with ''bi'' cis men and being pressured into identifying as feminine/female#yes i understand why people are upset about this kind of thing happening to this song but you gotta understand that like#if you dont wanna see that you can JUST GO LISTEN TO THE ORIGINAL SONG!!!! BECAUSE ITS SO OBVIOUSLY ABOUT WLW!!!!#also there's the obligatory ''men can be abused in relationships too and are also oppressed by the patriarchy via societal expectations''#but mostly i just think that bullying artists for relating to a song and wanting to impose it on their blorbos is needlessly petty and crue#please channel your love for wlw representation in mainstream media into something more productive#like. make an animatic or fanfic based off the song with your favorite wlw ship!!!!! i'd love to see it!!#there's always more demand for wlw ships in fandom so please PLEASE go for it#just don't harass anyone. please just be nice. please just let people be who they are and create the art they want to#im so sick of personal discomfort being disguised as moral outrage it genuinely makes me so unbelievably sad
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I think I'm struggling creatively because as time goes on I find less and less motivation to write (and read, tbh!) stuff that's
good wholesome queer representation
escapist everything-gets-better fantasy ("because life is hard enough why would you write about miserable things")
palatable to people who disagree with me
And obviously I'm nowhere near finishing even a single original thing yet ahdfhajf but I've been looking at publishing videos that people who have experience in the industry have made and. Man no wonder that so much milquetoast stuff gets put out nowadays
#not to be a hater and controversial but#the fact that its often straight people judging whether queer representation has problematic elements (and similar situations)#and lots of queer media seems to be made with straight people in mind (at least as a considerable portion of the audience)#and ugh in general/unrelated like. i just want to write litfic about the human condition XDD and structural inequality#but if i do it with fanfic nobody will read it because my most popular fics will always be ones where white men kiss each other for 3k word#obviously i'm grateful that anyone reads anything i write aggdhfh it's very nice to be heard#but fr my most popular fics are NOT my best ones#and yeah like if i write original fiction it's unlikely to do well in publishing because there's no hot sexy straight romance or wholesome#soft high school good representation queer people:3#maybe i can put in a red herring twink guy idk#also i'm just so bitter about linguistic inequality still XDD like. in a video abt fantasy tropes the person making the video hates they#said that they hate 'overly long fantasy names' that they can't pronounce#which just made me go 'silence anglo' mentally because omfg super often those names are just BASED ON CULTURES YOU'RE NOT PART OF#(disclaimer i know not all english speakers are ignorant hahfjsdhjfj)#but yeah its funny when old english inspired names are too hard for modern english speakers like welcome to being anyone else lol#its somehow considered a minimum requirement of knowledge to be able to pronounce names like george and matthew correctly#but then for other languages it's a special courtesy if people say names right#afujishgfis and this is just one example#rant#writing#literature
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actually i hate when people take ace attorney out of the context it was made in. like im just as clueless about the details as anyone else, and its true its heavily fictionalised and mostly not a really serious representation of anything, but at least akcnowledge that that context exists when you talk about it. cause otherwise its just stupid, like everything youre saying is just random words and nothing actually to do with the series
#i mostly mean when people actually discuss stuff in it for a proper answer not just jokes and fanfics but ill admit that annoys me as well#stupid and petty as that is#i do think its legit though when youre actually trying to analyse it i mean come on#like why bother if youre just going to completely misinterpret everything like how do so many people not even know what country it is#cause guess what#funnily enough everything about america is completely and absolutely irrelevant#and yes obviously its clear what my meaning is and im not talking about the irrelevent exceptions#as interesting as i personally find the american influences on japanese society considering not just the american global hegemony#but also the post ww2 occupation and political system that was established then not that i know anything about it really#but i am a bit curious how much influence america has actually had on a country that everyone always sees as totally seperate to the west#and obviously in the modern world everywheres influenced by outside cultures and western countries (dont know what people in japan think)#way of seeing japan as particularly different to everywhere elseis definitely at least partly total rubbish#it actually seems like a very 'normal' country even if youve never been out of europe otherwise#perhaps to me the reason american influence stands out is cause im not used to main english language ans western cultural influence#being america it definitrly makes it stand out as odd like how much of this is america and how much is japan when you dont know either#anyway japan doesnt have more american influence (culturally) it just stands out more obviously#what have i got to going on about#anyway this was actually about ace attorney#well i can say they got the gavel from america anyway apparently thats a pop culture thing no other real life coursts have it#japan didnt get its legal system from america anyway or at least not partly#its civil law system which is something most aa fans dont seem to understand#funnily enough cause civil vs common law systems is literally school level stuff#i mean there literally seems to be a decent amount of aa fans that dont even realise that yes the law stuff is based off japans system#i mean ??? like yeah its not realistic but do people not realise that not every legal system is identical#and it being based off a different country is just as much of a reason for differences as video game seriously#this is coming from someone who doesnt care about law in the slightest btw its still utterly aggravating#like obviously most people realise it was a lot influenced by stuff about actual japanese law even though its not serious or realistic#its still relevent when youre talking about it but its still annoying how many people try to analyse it ignoring this
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I love being a writer. When I was younger I thought I would become a bestselling author. Instead, I'm writing fanfiction for the Unknown Armies campaign I'm a part of. It's like 1000 words of just the thought process of a ghost. I wish I could go back in time to my younger self and show them my 1000 words about. Again. The thoughts of a made up ghost.
#hes such a cool ghost tho#my girlfriend is the gm and she made such a cool character with him#the story is-#this takes place at a summer camp. the story is that theres a ghost haunting site 13#its unclear how he died. its just a little campfire tale told by scouts#but the person hes based off of didnt actually die. hes actually a very well adjusted adult nowadays#but theres still a ghost. hes the ghost of the story. all of the dofferent versions. all of the lies that were told to make sense of it#he was never actually alive. but hes still a ghost. stuck with all of those different deaths and stories inside of him#i think hes so fucking cool#and tonight i wanted to write just a little bit#about his thoughts#because obviously he has some problems. from the whole. being based on a lie and such#its hard to explain. but im just exploring his various deaths and the ways that hes not really coping. but who can blame him#might post it just cuz i like it. but also it doesnt make too much sense for those not in the campaign#im writing fanfic. for a story that doesnt exist outside of like. 7 people#cuz i like a character#gonna go back to my younger self and tey to explain this
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Camp Seventeen: Prologue
Seventeen as Greek Demigods Series
Pairing - Reader x ot13 (Yes, you read that right, I am insane and you are allowed to scream at me)
Word count - 2.7k
Genre - Greek Demigod AU! We’ve mainly got crack cause all of them are idiots, and obviously smut because they are thirteen lonely, horny men afterall (aka reverse harem) also throwing in some fluff and angst as well because I gotta let emotions run high for plot sake :)
A/n - Hello hello, this is a new seventeen series I am starting and boy oh boy is it gonna be a wild ride! A special thanks to @okiedokrie @whipped-for-kpop-fics @ourdawnishotterthanourday @multi-kpop-fanfics for all their amazing help and bearing with me through the discussions for this, I’m so grateful to you guys :)
I will have a taglist for this so please comment/ send an ask on this post to be added!
“Over here!”
Wincing, you looked up from the disgusting heap of mud your foot had neatly landed in, ignoring the way your little piglet was ecstatically rolling in the same filth.
The man before you looked equally disturbed as he walked over, pulling out a bottle of water apparently from up his ass because you didn’t remember him holding it a second ago.
Sighing a thank you, you took it, emptying it onto your boots before grabbing your gremlin of a pet from its happy place, resulting in a series of loud, incessant whining.
In all that noise, you heard your shoe savior take your name with a voice that was as pretty as him.
“I’m Jisoo.” He put out his hand. “You can call me Joshua.”
You nodded, unable to shake his hand thanks to the problem trashing in your arms earning Joshua’s amusement.
“And who is this?”
“Natalie.” You muttered as he raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “Natalie Porkman.”
Joshua burst out laughing, looking away as he covered up a snort, shoulders shaking. You smiled, truly taking in his beautiful features for the first time. Cute.
“This way.” He pointed at absolutely nothing yet you followed this complete stranger, survival skills be damned. “We’ve got a half mile trek ahead of us but it gets a little confusing from here so I thought I’d come pick you up.”
Cute and kind.
You filed it away under ‘to-learn-more-about-when-I-fiigure-out-what-the-fuck-is-going-on-in-my-life.’
The two of you walked side by side, footfall softly echoing in the lush green forest around. Though silence was all you had been craving after the last few days you’ve had, that did not seem like an option since one, Natalie hadn’t stopped whimpering in fifteen minutes and two, Joshua kept glancing at you like you were some sort of ancient artifact.
Not the good kinds.
“What is it?” You said finally, starting a conversation you didn’t want to have. “Never seen a mess of a human before?”
“Never such an old one.” Well, at least you got ancient right. Joshua quickly corrected himself. “I mean I’ve never heard of a demigod surviving undetected in the mortal world for this long.”
Oh but you got ‘human’ wrong. You forgot. Normalcy was never your defining factor but at least now you knew exactly what kind of freak you were.
Almost.
“I wouldn’t call it surviving, more like ‘barely made it’.”
“But you made it.”
“At the cost of what?” You sighed. “Everything is much more complicated now.”
“Don’t worry.” He stopped at a large boulder at the base of an abnormally large tree in the middle of seemingly nowhere. “We’ll all help you.”
“All?”
He nodded, looking at you over his shoulder. “All.”
Your eyes followed his hand as he placed it in the middle of the rock, and after all that you’ve learnt in the last few days, you’re not sure why you were so shocked when it rolled away at his touch. You expected it to lead you to a dark, suspicious cave but a bright light poured out, making you momentarily lose both your vision and your pet who jumped out of your arms and ran into the illuminance, squealing in delight.
“Welcome to Camp Seventeen.”
Joshua grinned, pointing at the scene before him and your jaw dropped in awe.
It was a large opening in the middle of a forest that looked very different from the one you were just trudging through. There were hills on one side, a large lake shimmering far away, fire torches lit everywhere, little cottages scattered here and there, strange symbols topping them all off. Looking at everything curiously, you walked down the cobbled path, only just noticing the two men who were standing at the end of it, both incredibly beautiful. The blonde one was playing with Natalie and the redhead was staring at you with his arms crossed, expression smug.
“Would you look at that, the prodigal babygirl is here at last.”
You frowned, taking an almost immediate dislike despite his pretty, pretty face.
“Jeonghan, play nice.” Joshua muttered, walking over to him.
“Don't patronise me Aphrodite's son, she was supposed to be here at 4-”
“It’s 4:10.”
“-yesterday.” He turned back to you. “You’re a day and 10 minutes late.”
“Well you’re not the one who’s relocating your whole life.” You spat back at him. “I had things to take care of - my dorms, my bills-”
“So much that you missed the meeting with your lawyer.”
“I did ask to reschedule. It’s not my fault he’s an unsympathetic prick.”
“Careful sweetheart.” Jeonghan cocked his head at you. “I’m unforgiving too.”
You stared at him for a whole maddening minute, realizing why his voice seemed so familiar. You had heard him on the phone over the last few days.
“You’re my lawyer.”
“And the best in the city.” Joshua interjected, sensing the rising tension. “Children of Athena tend to be big brained.”
“And hot headed apparently.”
“Natalie says ‘not more than you’.”
All three of you turned to the only other presence there, the man who was carrying your pig, silent as a statue all this while.
“Jun, son of demeter.” Joshua introduced, pulling him ahead. “He’s a natural with anything, well... natural? Mostly plants but he also happens to talk to animals.”
“Domestic ones.” Jun mumbled. “Hansol is better with the wild.”
You greeted him awkwardly, half smiling to be polite and half frowning at the way Natalie was looking up at him with literal heart eyes.
“How did you come across a fledgling?”
“A what now?”
Jun picked your pig up by the arms like a little baby. “She says she’s 10 years old, yet is the size of a toddler. Have you never wondered why your pig never grew?”
“I uh….assumed it was just the kind of breed that didn’t?”
“What an intellectual.” Jeonghan looked at you with faux amazement making you roll your eyes.
Jun, however, still hadn’t met your eye. “Fledglings are creatures of Olympus. Time moves differently there so they don’t really grow like the others in the human world. In that sense, technically, she’s still only a few months old-”
“So you’re telling me this thing, which has lived with me for 10 odd years, is….magical?”
Jun shook his head as Joshua spoke up, clarifying.
“Not magical, that’s a whole different branch of powers and abilities. Your pig is just….not a part of the human world.”
“You betrayer.” You narrowed your eyes at what you thought was your loyal companion. “We were friends. How could I not know?”
Natalie whined sadly in response earning a smile from Jun and of course, yet another snarky comment from Jeonghan. “I don’t speak pig and even I know she said you’re not very bright.”
“Understanding your native language is not particularly intelligent, you swine.” You glared at him, receiving a smirk in response.
“Ten minutes in camp and you’ve already made Jun’s ears red and picked a fight with Han.” You turned to see three men walk up to you, the one in the middle with an amused look and a powerful aura. “You’re gonna fit in quite well Newbie.”
“Seungcheol, son of Zeus and leader of the camp.” Joshua whispered as everyone bowed to him. You imitated them quickly.
“This is Seokmin, Son of Poseidon and Minghao, Son of Ares.” Seungcheol added, pulling out his armor as one of them shot you a cheery smile and the other continued to look at you cynically. “They are our training specialists. Seokmin should help you with your overall fitness and Minghao will train you for combat.”
“C-combat?” You stuttered looking around. “You mean like war?”
“The world of demigods is new to you, don’t try to understand everything in one day.” The Son of Ares sheathed his twin blades behind his back. “Take a few days to adjust to the camp first. You can start training next week.”
You nodded, a little thankful that despite his cold exterior, he seemed to be surprisingly sympathetic of your situation.
“He’s right.” Seokmin chimed. “You should settle here first, not to forget, deal with that lawsuit before you focus on everything else.”
You turned to Jeonghan expecting yet another snarky remark but he looked worried, lost in thought.
When you turned back to Seokmin though, you bit back a scream, your face inches away from a man who appeared soundlessly and seemingly from thin air.
He gave you a cheeky grin with a tilt of the head, “I’m Chan aka Dino, Son of Hermes, Camp cutie, camp hottie and camp leader- ow!”
He rubbed the back of his head vigorously when a small rock hit him with a dull thud. You looked over his shoulder to see Seungcheol aim another one with just a flick of the wrist.
This one Dino skillfully dodged, stepping away from you as Joshua laughed, “Chan is the camp messenger. He’s in charge of all sorts of delivery and transportation.”
“You were the one who picked up my things.” The realisation hit you at last as Dino nodded, pointing at a pile of your stacked bags and trunks beside the entrance.
“Guilty as charged.”
“You were supposed to arrive over an hour ago.” Seokmin narrowed his eyes at the younger man.
“I got held up with some uh distractions.” Chan laughed nervously, scratching the back of his ear. “I didn’t know where to keep her things though, considering you know, she doesn’t have a place yet.”
Seungcheol turned to you to clear your confusion. “Everyone on camp has their own residence but you came on too short a notice so we’re yet to build one of you. We could have housed you in the guest cabin except it was recently damaged in a fight,” He glared at all the boys around him. “So that would not be feasible. Until your own place is not ready you can stay at mine - it is the biggest so you should be comfortable.”
You pursed your lips unsure about his offer. Did you think you would be unsafe in his presence? No absolutely not, the opposite in fact.
You wondered how long you could hold yourself back before unsuspectingly jumping this man and his huge biceps and beefy thighs and manly voice-
“She’s thirsty.”
Taken aback you looked around, searching for the owner of the voice who unnecessarily accurately voiced your thoughts. Instead, you heard the snap of a twig and a low growling sound from the area the forest got more dense. You narrowed your eyes, trying to peer through the overgrown wilderness only to meet a pair of menacing red orbs.
Your adrenaline response barely had the time to kick in before ten, no fifteen, wild hounds ran out of their hiding place towards you, making you scream and hide behind Joshua.
The boys laughed as the dogs circled around you and you gripped onto Joshua’s shoulders terrified.
“Stand back lads.” A silver haired man walked over with a golden haired one beside him, both with a bow and quiver strung over their shoulders. The dogs immediately ran over, aligning themselves in an obedient, straight line behind them.
“Hansol, Son of Artemis and Jihoon, Son of Apollo.” Joshua looked at you over his shoulder. “They are in charge of daytime border patrol. There are all sorts of wild animals out here, hence the hounds, for protection.” As you shuddered, Joshua looked around curiously. “The Son of Hades, is in charge of nighttime patrol. He should be somewhere around here…”
Your eyes widened as the water canteen hanging on Jihoon’s belt flew towards you on its own, making you almost claw Joshua’s arm.
“Wonwoo don’t scare her.” Joshua chastised laughing as you literally see a tall, lean man materialize out of thin air, the canteen in his hand and a smirk on his face. “How long have you been here?”
“The whole time.” He mumbled, handing you the water. “Jihoon said you were thirsty.”
“Not for water.” The blonde man whispered in a way only you could hear, looking entertained at how flushed you were. Did he actually read your mind?
Coming out of Joshua’s shadow, you grabbed the canteen before anyone else noticed, thanking Wonwoo with a hard smile. Tilting your head back you drank up, not noticing how all 10 eyes were intently fixed on you and your throat moving with each gulp. They all took a gulp of their own.
As you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, slowly looking around and noticing everyone’s gaze, the ground below began to shake, fazing no one but you.
Jeonghan pulled you out of the way of what seemed like a large mechanical bull charging towards you with an equally large man perched on top of it. A smaller man arrived right behind, riding a….. A leopard???
“You said you would win.” The muscled man slid off the mechanical creature, patting it. “My baby is faster.”
“I said a cheetah would win. My baby is a tiger.”
“It's a leopard.” You corrected, earning everyone's snickers and the not so threatening stare of its owner.
“It’s a big cat with an identity crisis.” Taking your hand in his, placing a soft kiss at the back of it, the muscle man gave you a fanged smile. “I’m Mingyu, Son of Hephaestus.”
The other man raised his hand. “Soonyoung, Son of Dionysis and that-” He turned to yet another one who was running over, looking frazzled.
“Seungkwan, Son of Hera, owner of a peacock that has yet again disappeared.” He bent over, grabbing his waist, panting and out of breath. “I don’t get why she keeps running away.”
“Maybe because you keep calling him a she.” Minghao nonchalantly glanced at his neatly filed nails.
“I can’t-” Seungkwan ran his fingers through his head, annoyed. “It’s confusing okay, who the fuck named him Patricia then?”
Behind you Jeonghan giggled.
“You coagulation of human evil,” Seungkwan threw his shoe, missing the target. “Now she- He won’t respond to any other name!”
The boys roared with laughter as Seungkwan unsuccessfully chased Jeonghan around, hands flailing everywhere.
Seungcheol walked over to you amidst all the mess, shooting you an understanding smile. “Your life has just undergone a major change, I get that it is intimidating but don’t worry. All thirteen of us are here to help you get through this.”
You nodded slowly, looking around at the boys, doing a quick, confirmatory headcount. “So there’s only thirteen of you?”
And why were all of them so gorgeous??
“Yeah, only.” Seungcheol chuckled, “Trust me thirteen is more than enough, I’ve got to run a very tight ship here.”
“I just assumed there would be seventeen people since, you know, Camp Seventeen.”
“The Oracle apparently told Woozi to name us Camp Seventeen.” He shrugged. “Not sure why.”
You hummed, as all of them gradually stopped behaving like toddlers and turned their attention to you.
“Wait,” The realization slowly dawned upon you. Actually, it hit you like a brick. “You’re all men.”
Seungcheol nodded carefully, like he didn’t know where you were going with this.
“Am I….Am I the only girl in the camp?”
Soft mutters went around as Seungcheol cleared his throat. “Yes and I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable but unfortunately, it was not a choice.”
“It’s not common for a girl to be assigned to an all boys camp,” Joshua stepped up. “But I believe since Jeonghan and Wonwoo are working on the lawsuit that landed you here, the authorities of Olympus must have thought it is better for you to be here.”
“But it’s not permanent.” Seungcheol added. “You can choose to change camps after Quest Season if you wish-”
“What is Quest season?”
Jeonghan let out a loud sigh. “You’ve been here for what, ten minutes? Don't overwork your brain. The world of demigods is complex, you’ll learn everything with time.”
“He’s right.” Seokmin leaned against the tree near him. “Why don’t we first move your things to Seungcheol’s cabin? We’ll let you get settled, then Joshua can show you around camp, walk you through the rules and assign a duty-”
“Except.” Soonyoung looked at you from bottom to top, like he was assessing you. “What kind of duty?”
“Exactly.” Mingyu threw his arm around his friend, his expression matching. “Daughter of Hestia, Goddess of Hearth and Home, what would you be good for in this camp?”
Minghao hummed, walking up to you, bending to meet your eyelevel. “Well, what can a woman be good for in a camp of thirteen men?”
A/n - next will be a detailed post about each member, their background and powers so it's less confusing for those who aren't so familiar with Greek mythology and the series will start after that so stay tuned!
#svthub#seventeen series#seventeen × reader#seventeen ot13#seventeen smut#seventeen angst#seventeen crack#seventeen fluff#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen Seungcheol#seventeen scoups#seventeen jeonghan#seventeen joshua#seventeen jisoo#seventeen jun#seventeen hoshi#seventeen soonyoung#seventeen jihoon#seventeen woozi#seventeen wonwoo#seventeen Seokmin#seventeen dk#seventeen minghao#seventeen myungho#seventeen mingyu#seventeen vernon#seventeen Hansol#seventeen seungkwan#seventeen dino
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I come here late to give my opinion on what Nicole Maines said in her book about the Supercorp fandom (go to Twitter for more info, but she basically gave her point of view of things as a queer actor on the show having expected things from the queer fans, confirmed we were being queerbaited while also blaming us for some actors getting fired). I appreciate her side of things and feel for her. But reading that I felt that A LOT was overlooked, especially the context of it all. So sit back if you care enough to read this and come with me as I go on a rant and we go down memory lane to give some context into what it was like to watch Supergirl live as a Supercorp fan.
The first season of Supergirl had its fair share of ships. People liked Kara/Cat, Kara/James, Kara/Win maybe anyone? I don't remember that one but I'm sure there were people out there who liked them. Some people even liked Alex/Kara (a conversation for another time). Kara/Cat shippers could also like Kara/James, because both ships had some strong foundations in the narrative, they were undeniably good ships, regardless of how you feel about age-difference relationships or straight relationships lol. There wasn't mostly an issue, except with the ones that liked Kara/Alex.
In between the first and second season of Supergirl it was announced that a main character would be gay. They didn't say who, though. Speculation began, of course. They did say that Maggie Sawyer was coming to the show but it was not confirmed that she was going to be a lesbian and even less whose love interest.
Then the second season premiered. And in the very first episode Kara Danvers meets Lena Luthor. Their scenes together were filled with sexual tension from the very beginning, look at their meeting scene without context and a bit of an open mind and most people will see their chemistry and think that maybe Kara was meeting her soulmate. And the first scene of Supergirl meeting Lena Luthor? It was already drawing a parallel between them and Lois/Clark, one of most iconic, recognizable and undeniable canon ships of all time. Drawing parallels between these two ships was the creators of the show's favorite pastime and it started from day one, before the ship had any fans because we hadn't met Lena just yet.
But in that episode we did meet her. And we fell in love fast. Because their interactions and the interest concept of Lena's character were good. Could it really be that Kara was the main gay character? Could it really be that they were going to give us an epic love story with Supergirl and a family member of her family's historically known enemy? Could they dare to make the famous superhero anything other than straight?
It wasn't just a delusion on our part at that time. It was a real possibility based on real facts. Kara had suddenly dropped the guy she spent the entire previous season chasing after. She got him and dumped him for no good reason (the writers didn't bother to give it a good excuse) and in the same episode she meets this woman, at the start of the season we were going to discover a main gay character.
These are all facts.
A few episodes later Maggie Sawyer makes her debut and it's clear that she's Alex's love interest from the first moment. Cool. It's not Kara but at least it's Alex (because, at the time, we know, WE KNOW, that they don't have two lesbian/queer women characters in the same show unless they're dating each other. How could we think that gay people will surround themselves with other gay people? silly us), that was the reaction: We still LOVED that it was Alex, because it still made sense. And it was difficult to find Sanvers fanfic without it having Supercorp in it because we were all the same people, of course most of us liked both ships.
Now, I obviously don't know her, but I seriously don't think that Chyler can say she felt overlooked by the fans that season. Alex's coming out scenes were some of the best we had seen in our entire lives up until that point, and we made that known. Not all of us might have been on board with Sanvers (some storyline choices could've been questionable) but with Alex? No one loved her more than the queer Supergirl fans. And in the meantime Supercorp kept getting screen time, their friendship progressing in a Clois kind of way that was beautiful to witness. While Maggie and Alex's relationship advanced pretty quickly from an "I'm not gay" to a rejection to a proper first kiss, Supercorp was building a bit more organically as Supergirl kept saving Lena's life, as Lena opened up only to Kara, trusting her all the while Kara was keeping this huge secret from her. We ate that shit up, of course we did.
After season two was over we got the news that Floriana Lima (Maggie) was going to leave the show. I remember Chyler saying that she wanted to do right by us and whoever came next was gonna stay. And I'm not faulting Chyler for what came next, at all. Chyler was and always will be one of the best things on Supergirl and she has always treated the fandom with the utmost respect and love. And I hope she only received the same treatment back (and I hate to know she got those letters from people threatening to kill themselves, but let's have a little compassion for those people and their mental health, I hope they're doing well).
So Maggie left. And while some fans were not coping well with that, most fans understood it was the actress' decision. That was fine. What wasn't fine was the decision the writers made by making the breakup about not wanting babies when they were about to get married. How on Earth (any Earth) a couple don't talk about that particular issue BEFORE deciding to get married? It was an easy way out. But okay, it's just a TV show, I don't write it, we can move on from that... In the same season, at the same time this whole discussion and breakup occurs, the very same person who wanted to have kids has a meet-cute with a SINGLE MOTHER, Sam. The story was full of promise, she had a kid already with whom Alex got along amazingly, there was great chemistry between all three of them, Sam also had a dark secret being basically her sister's most powerful enemy, their relationship was mostly well built throughout the entire season. But guess what? She wasn't her new love interest, and left at the end of it.
A lot of Supercorp fans LOVED AgentReign (Sam/Alex), by the way. A lot of Supercorp fans also loved ReignCorp (Sam/Lena) and a few even loved AgentCorp (Lena/Alex) and SuperReign (lol what was the name of this ship? I don't remember but Kara/Sam). And guess what? There wasn't a war between us. We were mostly the same people multishipping because it's fun and because these were interesting characters with interesting relationships created by the writers. We were inventing and wishing for stuff, but the foundations were laid for us, some (most) things were there and most of us were just screaming that we liked what we were being given and wanted more of that.
And that's why come season 4, some people were having a hard time accepting Dansen. Because we were mourning the loss of Sam and her relationship with Alex, the what ifs are always the worst, no matter the situation. But most Supercorp fans embraced Kelly (and Azie, we love Azie and what we got to see of her relationship with Chyler, and Katie and Nicole), the vast majority of us ended up loving Dansen despite the writers not always doing a great job at writing their arcs. And it's awful that some fans treated her and other members of the cast horribly, but that was by far a small portion of the Supergirl fandom in general, and especially the Supercorp fandom. And, by the way, as a side note because racism was part of the problem for a minority of the fandom, A LOT of us in the Supercorp side of it are not white people from the US, A LOT of us are from other countries/races/cultures (that can be racist too of course, but the point is we don't know the races and motives of everyone behind a keyboard).
And that season most of us also embraced Nia because she was the first trans superhero, because of her queerness, because she was an awesome fun character, because she was relatable and geeky like most of us. We embraced her, her relationship with Kara and her relationship with Brainy. And we showed that by trending Nia related things, by adding Nia to our fanfics and fanarts. Nia was a Supercorp ally for most of us and we didn't exclude her from the art because we loved her as much as we love some of the other characters in the show.
Now, if Kara would have had, after the first season, one male love interest that was decent enough, we would have still love and wanted Supercorp, that's true (especially when it had been years of build-up) but most of us probably would have liked the pairing anyway, because we loved Kara Danvers and wanted her to be happy and to have the love she wanted at the beginning of the show (which she didn't get, by the way).
But the writers decided to give her, instead, another man who didn't treat her well. And I couldn't honestly tell you half of William's storyline because I couldn't care less. The creators of the show didn't make me care. Hell, I didn't even see Kara cared enough about that character. The writers should know their audience and should know that the audience needs moments to make them care about the characters, the writers have the power to make that happen. Many times I've seen a fandom hate a character one episode and love them by the next one, because sometimes all it takes is one good scene, or one good arc. William never had that. And now we have confirmation of what we knew all along, that maybe they were writing half-assed storylines for their love interests because they were too busy trying to figure out new ways to queerbait us. If they would have put a quarter of that effort into creating good love interests for Kara and/or Lena (but especially Kara), most of this conversation wouldn't still be happening 3 years later.
We embraced Andrea Rojas, we embraced her so much that we shipped her with Lena. Most of us weren't the blind Supercorp-or-nothing crazy fans a lot of people to this day make us out to be. When things were good, we mostly liked them. But please, please, let's be honest here, a lot of the time Supergirl was not a great-written show. And I get that those are Nicole's friends but a little objectivity, especially after all these years, would have come a long way.
These past few days I've read a couple of people saying Supercorp was the only good thing about the show. Those kinds of people were and still are a very very minority. A lot of us started the show before Supercorp existed and LOVED (still love) the Danvers sisters with all of our hearts. And the writers, at times, didn't know how to keep up with that relationship, the one that at first was the very center of the show, all that well either.
Most Supercorp fans didn't actually like that the 100th episode revolved all around Supercorp. 1) Because it was queerbaiting at its finest. 2) because it should've been about the Danvers sisters. Or at least about all Supergirl's most important relationships in equal measure. Yes, Lena was a big part of her, but ALEX EVEN MORE SO. The fandom didn't make that happen, we didn't fire any actor either. These were decisions made by the people who had the power to make anything in the show happen. If we would have had our way we all know what we would have done, and no, it definitely was not p**n (the most used AO3 tags for our ship speak for themselves).
I didn't see Nicole's last paragraph on the subject shared much. A lot of people didn't see that she acknowledged a small portion of the good the Supercorp fandom did.
But by the time you get to it, you already have a bad taste in your mouth. Because it still reads as if she's talking about us all without a care that "the toxic fans" were just a loud minority. Not to say that the good guys weren't louder, because Supercorp is still what it is to this day because we're still loud. So why is there very little mention of that? The way we supported Nia's episode? The way we supported Kelly's?
And because we were having fun and we were loud about our love for two fictional characters, WE WERE ALSO RECEIVING THREATS from some toxic fans, hell, the day before yesterday some fans were receiving death threats like it's 2017. Everything she says the cast and crew were dealing with, the Supercorp fans were dealing with it as well, and more so because the toxic people felt validated by the choices the creators made. Validated by some writers on Twitter making it worse. Validated by some of the actors who were also mocking us. We were all called delusional, and that was the most chill thing you could be called.
I understand her point of view, and I imagine that was not a great first experience in that kind of set, and I would love to have the opportunity to talk to actors about this topic that fascinates me (relationship between fandoms and cast/crew). But context is important, to see other people's point of views is important when having these conversations. She felt her own community wasn't supporting her when most of us were and that didn't come across at all. Not even with her final words.
The fact is, they were hurt by a small part of their own fandom (which, by the way, they have no idea how old those toxic fans were. Not to say that adults are not toxic. But we, as the non-toxic adults, should also think of the demographic and react accordingly). And most of us, the queer Supercorp shippers, were also hurt by the toxic part of the fandom and by some of the people she's trying to defend. Let's be clear, there's not "mayyyybe," they were 100% wrong in queerbaiting the hell out of us from day one and mocking us for believing the bait. Make no mistake, most of this is a consequence of THAT.
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I'm wondering what your HCs are for Bowser and Luigi fell in love. Like, what moment was the moment that made Luigi like Bowser, and Bowser like Luigi? There has to be something for each of them, right??
Haha honestlyyyy Bowuigi is a ship where pretty much anything goes, since the characters are so versatile in that sense. Like any fanfic of them getting together in any version of themselves is valid and real to me. Though personal HCs, based on how I write them, I think the “Beauty and the Beast” route makes the most sense.
I think there wasn’t a key moment where it just happened, but rather a lot of quiet development. Bowser most likely got a crush first, cuz he’s that kind of guy. We know that he gets carried away with whoever he is affectionate for, so I imagine this happens during a time when he’s still interested in Peach. He finds less than subtle or polite ways to spend time with Luigi (kidnapping obviously) and the feelings start blossoming. Luigi is frightened, but he isn’t as vehemently opposed to this after it’s clear these moments aren’t threats to his life. At worst its confusing, but maybe the big guy just needs a friend.
Bowser realizes his interest in Peach feels shallow and small compared to what he’s starting to feel for Greenie. gets hit in the face with OHH SO THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT BEING IN LOVE IS LIKE !?
Meanwhile Luigi probably catches feelings when he realizes there’s more to Bowser than he thought. And he starts liking every part of him, even all the rough edges.
Bonus doodle before i get to work:
#bowuigi#luigi#bowser#bowser jr#because im demi myself#i like to imagine they start seeing each other as companions first while being secretive about their developing relationship#and theeeeen later its like a big oh i think i love you moment#ask the pig#darkbloodredrose
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300 (330) follower celebration video. The cult GROWS!!! Its official name shall be “The Kitchen” because the chef continues to COOK!!
Song: Ethereal by Txmy
I 100% totally did not make this based off my fanfic. Definitely not. This is OBVIOUSLY not food for my starving fanfic readers.
(Guys I’m so mentally ill for narilamb I’m inhaling them constantly like a professional smoker. it’s actually surprising how I’m still a functioning member of society)
#cotl#cult of the lamb#Acquiring Devotion AU#cotl fanart#cotl animatic#animatic#narilamb#narinder x lamb
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Characters i would love to see more of in a future show: MEL, Jinx, Ekko
Characters i dont want them to bring back in future shows: Jayce, Viktor, Cait, Vi
I think Mel would be THEEE perfect set up for a show based on Noxus. Her story does not feel completed and i see a lot of potential there. The last time we see her in arcane might be the end of that story, but it was obviously just the beginning for mel.
Its 99% canon that Jinx is on the airship we see at the very end of the last ep, this might be a good way for her to lead us towards a story set in another part of runeterra.
I feel like not giving Ekko a seat on the council along with Sevika was an oversight and i genuinely would like to see a show centered around Zauns independence, but i think thats very unlikely.
Now about Cait and Vi. I know i JUST said id like to see a story focused on Zaun, but i dont know how id feel about Cait and Vi in future shows. My fear would be that they wouldnt properly address the actual issues with both of them there and would just continue to brush over caits chem warfare and disregard for zaunite life. With the way the story is rn i can still kind of tell myself that cait made amends (or tried to) and i would be annoyed if a show ignored that.
As for jayce and viktor. While i'd love to see canon confirmation of the fact that they didnt actually die, i feel like the rest of their story is best explored in fanfic. Really anything they could give us after that finale would cheapen their last moments together. Like imagine if they only brought one of them back? Or if they actually broke them up?? That wouldnt be unlikely at all, given the creators postcanon comments. So no, id rather have none of them.
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Okay, you know WHAT? I have been SILENT for too long! I can endure it no longer!!
There is a CRIMINAL lack, CRIMINAL I say! Of Batman/Brucie Wayne Fanfiction out there!
But Minji, you say rightfully concerned for both my sanity and memory issues, isn't Bruce Wayne... Batman?
And, fuck off maybe! I know that, YOU know that, but WE are 5th dimensional spies watching their lives from beyond the 4th wall! NO ONE IN GOTHAM KNOWS THAT!
I want Fandom access!!! *rips shirt to reveal stolen Brucie/Batman OTP shirt from I got from some Gotham based Fan meet up*
It's part of their COVER! Since OBVIOUSLY himbo Brucie Wayne and dangerous brooding Cryptid Batman are VERY different men with VERY different moral and social philosophies about how to help their shared, beloved, city! They should kiss about it!
Tell me the bat-brood don't write terrible fanfic as stress relief. Lurk, just to make sure no one's getting to close. Lurk, just for that sweet, sweet fan art and other merch of themselves or loved ones.
Tell me there aren't arguments over "are they family or co-workers" and "how DARE you suggest our Cryptid would sleep with that Metropolitan SLUT instead our sweet himbo dilf!"
Look me in the eyes and tell me Clark has not COVERED the fan conventions, as a fluff piece, because Bruce annoyed him recently.
Where are my Meta fics? My characters reacting to disturbingly good and engaging fiction about their co-work and himself?
FFS fifty shades of grey(curse its name) was originally a fanfiction! Tell me some enterprising Gothamite wouldn't go "hmmmmm >.> " and pull the same thing? Barely change details and publish? So everyone is like "that is... SO CLEARLY about Brucie Wayne and Batman. But not clearly enough to sue. Holy shit."
Then READ it.
Because who would have the BALLS to do this and what did they WRITE?
And maybe it's... disturbingly good. Like no, really. Deeply philosophical and starkly human. Lot of sex. Excellent pacing.
....about their co-worker literally going and fucking himself.
They are SO conflicted.
I. Want. Fan. Fiction. I want in-world Fandom shit! It's literally a CLASSIC otp pairing! Himbo and gritty warrior with a mysterious past! Wayne getting kidnapped fics. Bodyguard fics. Secretly I'm Batman but now you're my slutty, slutty Boss fics!
Will no one CHALLENGE themselves!? I suffer.
Brucie/Batman
Come one guys! I believe in us!
@hdgnj @the-witchhunter @stealingyourbones
#dc prompt#dcu#dc universe#dc batman#dc#brucie wayne#batman#brucie/batman#batman/brucie#where is my in universe fandom shit?#my gothamite fanfics#my crops are dying#i suffer guys#please
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misceanimalis identities and alterhumanity
(also called: ✨misceverse propaganda✨)
a few days ago i promised to write a post about the misceverse and how it applies to myself/my identity. so, here it is!
[as a disclaimer, im still very much aroace so rest assured this post will be completely sfw. however, im aware that some people can be uncomfortable with this stuff so ill be putting the post under a read more]
so, omegaverse. a few of you may remember my post/essay on how i view gender through draconic lenses, and how my species classifies ourselves not with sex but with how we contribute to society, our Role. well, last week i saw some of my mutuals (shout-out to @/were-bastard and @/professional-jaywalker, the birds ever /pos) reblog stuff about something called the misceverse, which was inspired by omegaverse fanfic tropes, and... well. it piqued my interest. i had read a few of these stories myself when i was younger, so i knew more or less about what it was all about, but i didnt know there was an entire community centered around it!
what struck me the most about these communities was the normalization and celebration of animalistic behaviours, specifically as they relate to relationships, something that, as a nonhuman, is obviously very appealing to me. i struggle a lot to express affection in the expected/"human" way, as my instincts tell me to act more like the creature i am. things like nesting, scenting, giving gifts or having a special language of animal noises to communicate with your loved ones are things i do naturally, and that i fight to suppress every day. upon seeing all this in the misce community, plus the classifications that match so perfectly with my dragon Roles, i was sold.
so, what even is misceanimalis?
also called miscecanis, its a community centered around the omegaverse, that is, a universe where people have secondary sexes as well as the normal ones: alpha, beta or omega. (they were inspired by that one study on wolf behaviour and pack dynamics, which i find really funny bc its considered incredibly inaccurate nowadays). people on this verse exhibit animal behaviours like nesting, forming packs, making animal noises or "subvocals", and, of course, experiencing mating cycles (i will not get into that last part, but basically omegas have heats and can get pregnant while alphas have ruts and can get people pregnant; betas are usually the "normal" ones, but this may vary between verses). also! a very important thing in omegaverse is scenting. everyone has a unique scent, so people can identify your dynamic right away; its used as a way to mark your territory and your mate and to express emotions.
about me!
dynamic: i am bidynamic; both an omega and a beta, also called a gamma or oeta.
for me, this means that im socially neutral (but leaning submissive), i exhibit protective and nurturing behaviours like an omega, and give a calming effect to people like a beta. my presentation though is fully omega: i am very timid, uncertain and introverted, though if im feeling confident enough i can come off as more casual/laid-back.
scent: my scent is vanilla, very sweet as is typical of omegas (funnily, i found that this scent is almost unbearable for most people, but i adore it).
i use vanilla body lotion and perfume for myself, and a soft vanilla air freshener for my den.
behaviours: i am miscedraconis and misceavian, which means my behaviours are based on both dragons and birds (nesting, gift-giving, mating dances, all that stuff). my subvocals are both avian and draconic: purring, chirping, etc. i also experience heats but they are very mild, and are less frequent than for monodynamic omegas.
anyway, i think thats enough for today! wow i rambled a lot, didnt i? i hope you enjoyed reading this, and maybe even fell for my propaganda i mean, considered a misceanimalis identity for yourself! i found that the community is very nice and open-minded, and i think more alterhumans could benefit from joining it!
#whispers of the dragon#otherkin#nonhuman#therian#alterhuman#misceanimalis#miscecanis#misceverse#misceblr#misceavian#omegaverse lifestyle#gammaposting
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hihihii !! ( i absolutely love your writings. )
before i start the request i just wanted to day english is not my mother tounge so sorry if i am messing anything up. <3
but can you do something with sub!bill x reader? maybe something where reader hasnt let him cum for a few days and hes like begging her to let him cum. obviously reader lets him but yeah thats just the request !! if u can do it its completely fine also xx.
thanks for the request! and don’t worry anon you’re english is really good :3
i love this ideaaa
(also; yayy i got this out finally!!)
Too Much
a sub!Bill Kaulitz fanfic
content: femdom!reader (but honestly there are no mentions of it being a fem!reader), begging, edging
synopsis: after “so long” Bill’s gotten desperate..
translations: “Schnucki” is a german term of endearment that translates to: “Sweetie” or “Sweetie Pie”
“Oh c’mon! It’s been three days,” Bill pleads, walking after you, “Do you know what that will do to a man?”
You chuckle softly and turn back to look at him. His hazel eyes are wide and needy, his cheeks flush, and his breath heavy. “It can’t be all that bad, Billy.”
Bill whines at that and throws his head back, “It is!” You turn back around to grab your car keys. “Please! You can’t leave me like this!”
“Can’t I?” You respond teasingly.
“C’mon.. the way you were kissing me, and- and touching me, I thought you were finally gonna let me..” He trails off with an embarrassed whimper.
“Let you what?” You say, running your hand up his side.
“I’m going crazy here, Schnucki…” Bill whines, burying his fingers in your hair, “Please…”
Smiling, you can’t help but pity your poor boyfriend. “Hm, maybe with a bit of convincing, I’ll let you.”
His eyes light up and he nods eagerly. Bill grabs your wrist and begins to pull you back to the bed. Incoherent thanks leaving his lips.
For the past three days, the only slack you’ve cut him is some kissing and heavy petting. His libido, as strong as ever, has basically short circuited his brain at this point. He’d do anything to cum. You knew it, and he knew it.
Sitting on the bed once more, Bill was practically shaking with excitement.
“Beg,” You say sweetly, carding your fingers through his hair. He whines and kisses her cheek, his fingers curling into your thighs as he looks at you like you’re the sun, the moon, and the stars.
“Please… I’ve been good. I haven’t touched myself or- or done anything bad. I swear I’ll be a good boy..” He mumbles, “Please, please, I- I need this.. I need it.”
Bill continues to plead incoherently, while a smile is painted on your face. He’s always so cute when her like this, it almost makes you want to torture him a bit longer… but you won’t. Not when he wants it this bad.
You shush him and he quickly stops his begging, just limpid panting comes from him now. “Okay.. okay…”
A broken little grin pulls at his pouty lips and you begin to pull his pajama pants off. Leaning back obediently, he squirms with excitement. Bill’s erection springs out and your sure you’ve never seen it so… intense. The tip is red and leaking, twitching. He bites his lip and looks at you hopefully. You slowly lean over and kiss his lips, taking the base of his dick into your hand. Bill groans like it’s been years since anything has touched it, babbling your praise as you begin to slowly stroke his weeping erection.
He reaches out for you so pitifully. Giving him your free hand, he holds it in both of his, gently kissing your fingers as you give him what he’s begged for. “I love you so much…” Bill pants against the skin of your palm. You continue with your slow, but firm strokes. Bit by bit… you speed up. He whines, and squirms. His body twitching, his mouth agape.
And just as quickly as it started, it ended. A white hot flash of light splintering up through Bill’s body before a sticky white substance covers your hand. You let go of his overwhelmed, twitching dick and smile. Licking his climax off of your hand, his body twitches at odd times. Bill’s eyes are heavy lidded and his breathes are deep and short.
“Pl-Please..” You hear Bill breathily say.
“Please what?” You say back.
He whines and reaches his arms out for you again, his eyes basically shut, “Lay with me,” Bill whines. With a soft giggle you tug his pajama pants back up and settle in beside him. He wraps his arms beside you with the little strength in them he has left.
“I love you…” Bill mumbles.
“I love you too,” You respond, “Did it feel good..?”
“Amazing.” He says in a boarder line moan.
“Good.” You mumble back.
With that, Bill softly falls asleep.
deine, kirsche. ✮
#bill kaulitz#tokio hotel#tokio hotel imagine#tokio hotel fanfic#fanfic#bill kaulitz x you#bill kaulitz x reader#bill kaulitz fanfic#georg listing#gustav schäfer#tom kaulitz#smut#tokio hotel x reader#tokio hotel fluff#tokio hotel smut#tokio hotel bill kaulitz
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hello ⭐star⭐ for that one post about fanfic director’s commentary, hope you’re having a lovely day
thank u so much!!! i hope ur having a wonderful day too :3 ok hmm let's go with death note this time. let's talk about they both die at the end
(obviously death cw and suicidal ideation cw as well and also it's long again.)
so this one is kind of an undignified wrestle with mortality and legacy. no big dramatic strides made in that struggle, because i think getting satisfying closure about the acceptance of your own death is sort of gauche. i prefer a running stream of consciousness where you kinda flop around in the ring and kind of come to terms with things but in a really damp and hollow and itchy way.
throughout this fic i tried to use L's narration to contrast the source of his panic with the source of light's. both of them are acting sort of out of character in the sense that neither's behaviour is really aligned with the way they act in canon, and the reason i did that is sort of as a response to their own impending deaths. nobody's going to act like themselves in that circumstance. i even have them say it outright:
“I’m not really a nihilist,” says Light. “I wonder what you’d think of me if you’d met me on a normal day.” ... [L:] “I’m not ordinarily apathetic, either, by the way.”
one very simple detail showing that contrast is this:
L closes the door without locking it. He picks a direction at random and starts walking.
...
And it’d turned out they were nearby, so now they’re at Light’s apartment. “I didn’t think I’d be back here today,” he tells L, sticking his key in the lock. “Sorry if it’s messy.”
basically, light is in flight and L is in freeze. L doesn't bother locking his door when he leaves the house in the morning, but light does. L knows/accepts/has resolved that he won't be returning home that day. part of light still refuses to accept that, even though he leaves the house with the intention of ending his life.
i don't think it's fair to say that L's acceptance is more mature or that he's more at peace with his fate. it's more like...
so, L approaches situations with the perspective of looking at what is. he's truth-oriented. he accepts the facts of a given matter and then uses them to extrapolate what comes next. that extrapolation is really key to his character so it honestly bugs me a lot when people try to say that L is a purely logical character. he's not! he's running on intuition like 99% of the time and a lot of his extrapolations are wild and not evidence-based at all, but the reason for that is that he has an incredibly strong intuition based on how effectively he processes information. so L understands based on the phone call that he's going to die today, and there's really no point arguing around that fact. however, he can't actually figure out what his next steps are, because there are no next steps. he's going to die today.
throughout the story he struggles immensely with the fact that there is a piece of information he can't attain using the information he already has: he doesn't know when he's going to die, only that it's going to happen before midnight, and so he is completely unable to plan what he should do next, because he can't see any course of action through to its conclusion:
Two. Three. Two. Three. Four. Three. Two. L shakes his head. Can’t count up. Can’t count down. The numbers keep changing, but he can’t find zero. “No,” he says. Deductive reasoning, by its nature, requires premises—in order to find a fact, you must have a fact to begin with. You cannot begin with a baseline of nothing. With no reference, there can be no inference. L keeps counting, but there is no zero, or rather, there is a zero and he doesn’t know where it is. The next second could be his last, or the next, or the next, and all he can know is that at some point the ticking will stop and there is no way to orient himself to it because that point keeps moving .
this drives L crazy. that uncertainty is being represented by this incessant ticking in L's head which won't fade. ok so have you ever used a metronome? say you're counting in 4/4, so the click would play like ONE two three four ONE two three four. the rhythm is steady, but there's one emphasised beat to orient you to where you are in the measure. or, say, a ticking clock, where you can glance at it to see where you are in the 60 seconds that make up a minute. you can count down to when the next minute begins. or a timer, where you can see it counting down to zero. in L's head, he knows the ticking is counting down to the moment of his death, but he doesn't know what it's counting down to because he can't see it. he doesn't know where zero is, there's no emphasis to orient him, and he doesn't know which second he's at in the minute. he could start doing something and then die in the next three seconds, and it would be abrupt and jarring and unsatisfying, like the feeling you get when you take a breath and get winded. so he's in freeze. L accepts that he's going to die today, but he doesn't know when, and the whole time he's thinking about all the things he's never gotten to experience in his life because he's always sort of taken the concept of existence for granted. but he can't figure out how to take steps to try and check things off, because he's never actually made that list. and why make it now? because he might not get to finish them, and that's really unsatisfying. and how do you prioritise when you know you're not going to get to the end of your list and your list is infinity items long? he can't plan. he can't move. he's stuck. he panics, frozen.
light on the other hand has always had a plan for his future, and he's just watched that timeline rapidly shrink and cut all the opportunities off that he'd always been counting down towards. suddenly everything he's done up until now feels like a huge waste, because it was all a run-up to something that now doesn't exist. and he can't bear the fact that the control he'd always taken care to maintain over his life has suddenly been wrested away from him. that's why he starts the story out trying to kill himself - at the very least, he can control the when and cut the fear off.
Light swallows his mouthful of tuna and says, “If I can’t control my fate, I can at least bring it about myself.” “Does controlling your fate matter to you?” “That’s a stupid question,” says Light. “If you asked me yesterday I’d have had a hundred thousand things to say that mattered more to me than choosing how I’d die. My options have just kind of narrowed today, that’s all.”
L's right, though - light never would have done it. light wants to live more than he ever realised. i think light's had this moment of looking down the tunnel (hehe) and staring down his own impending death and realised he's not finished yet, but that's been taken out of his hands. he's realised that the mark he's left on the world has been so small and insignificant, and that if he dies now, that'll be all that's left of him. he's not willing to accept that. but that's the way things are. so he's in flight: run towards his own death so at least he can control the pace at which he dies? try to outrun the inevitable? try to speedrun a meaningful life to see if he can make some kind of mark before he stops existing for good?
“I don't know what we're walking to,” says Light. “I feel like I'm walking closer to my—to my own—” “We can stop.” “That just means it'll happen here instead. I don't want to die here, either.” “Where do you want to die?” “I don't,” Light says. His face crumples. “I just don’t. I'm not ready to be done.”
this is my favourite part of the fic tbh. it's based on a nightmare i had once that ended up changing my entire worldview. wahoo!
not to be a wanker but to an extent this is kind of what everyone's doing, technically, walking towards what will inevitably be your death, since time only moves in one direction and all that. but unlike everyone in the real world, light can see it. he wants to walk in the other direction, but it's all around him. he can see it growing closer the more he keeps moving, and all he wants to do is stop.
“What do I say?” Light asks desperately. “Hi, Dad. Hi, Mum.” Break. “Sorry I'll never give you grandchildren. Sorry I didn't get to graduate. Sorry you'll have to bury my dreams with me. Sorry for nineteen years that came to nothing in the end. It came to nothing.”
re: light refusing to speak to his family: i think he explains himself in the fic enough, but there's also another level where i think talking to his family about it means he'd have to formulate this fact into words which is difficult when he's not really accepted it himself, and on top of that, he would need to carry his family's grief and he's just not ready to do that. there's like a weird thing about talking to people who are already grieving you. i always felt really weird about that when talking to [friends/relations] who were terminally ill. light's relationship with his mother is kind of unexplored in canon but i wanted to go into it i think because your mother is someone who holds a unique spot in your life, i think, assuming you have a good relationship with her, and there is that reported phenomenon where people who are about to die tend to call out for their mothers. i guess this might be controversial but i think it's textually supported that light really cares about his family. i dont think light is ready to look at them and see them looking at him like he's someone who's already gone, and see all the things he never got to do with/for them. i honestly dont think hed survive it
ultimately it was really important to me that light died for no reason and that he didn't really have any material impact on anything. he dies trying to save a child, but someone else saves the kid first. light didn't have to take action at all. but of course, he did
As L stares, reaching hands scoop the toddler off the street from the other side.
i think in a sense it's up to personal opinion whether light had an impact or whether his friendship with L mattered at all before he died. after all, L died like an hour later, and it's not like he had anyone to pass those memories on to. he didn't even know light's surname. the memories of their last day together only exist with each other, and now they're both gone, so did it really matter? what does it mean to matter anyway? do you have to leave a legacy? is it enough that light managed to be L's only friend in the hours before L stopped existing? probably?
It's dark now. Properly dark. It's a new moon tonight, and though the stars do their best, there's little that can cut through the blackness in its absence.
...
L stares up at the moonless sky.
...
It might have been nice to die with the moon.
ofc light's name is written with the kanji for moon. just a silly joke lol.
L's death is something that's more likely to happen when you're alone, by the way. he gets mugged because he's an easy target sitting alone on a park floor. too bad he didn't have more friends and his only friend is dead.
also, the fact that he's a detective who gets murdered in a random act of crime was sort of another nod to the futility of the whole thing that light struggles with in canon. like, work your ass off, solve crime after crime, bring people to justice, but it never ends. crime continues. so is there a point? (yes, obviously.) but that's just a return to the struggle for legacy and meaning, where it's hard not to wonder whether the thing you're doing matters if it's not permanent / if you didn't solve something for good / if you didn't leave a mark that will never fade. i dunno. i think L did enough good in his lifetime. it wasn't enough to save him, but everyone dies eventually, so maybe it doesn't really matter?
i didn't want to give either of them the dignity of a full final thought. light definitely doesn't realise what's happening in the moment before he dies because he didn't see the truck, so i think he didn't have a chance to formulate one.
L watches a look of relief cross Light's face in the split second before the truck horn blares.
L of course gets cut off mid-sentence, just like he'd implicitly feared he might - trying to check things off the list, tie things off, before he's done:
What might a good final thought be? A final sight? He wonders if he could possibly find a star before
hopefully if you read the fic you got something out of it! it is, i think, intentionally pretty hollow and futile feeling, but not in a way that's supposed to make you feel hopeless or nihilistic. well, i hope not. i think there's something really cathartic that comes with the kind of closure you get specifically from accepting that sometimes there's no closure. that's how i felt writing it, so hopefully reading it is something similar. i dunno!
#jeeeeezus#i dont expect anyone to read these in depth or at all btw im kinda just pleased to have somewhere to write my thoughts out#this ended up being more a treatise on mortality than about the fic but 😬#it's also sufficiently about the fic... i hope#asks#death note#rookfic#thank you for asking! i appreciate it!#rookthots#i dunno if i said anything here that wasnt already in the fic really but it was still good to write it all out u know#eta: i started a thread i forgot to tie off but basically L operates in what *is*#meanwhile light operates in what *should be*#which is what cements him as an idealist vs L's realism
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