#its so much fun diving into what yall write

[imjustheretofangirl003]

I often see artists and writers describe an orb type ghost core that 'powers' ghosts, but can't find anything on them outside of fanpieces. Is this something small from canon the fandom latched onto for the sheer potential? Or completely original to fanworks?

[defodisturbed]

Mastermind - Recoms x Singer!Recom!reader

(A/N: heyy... hey.. im back :3. im sorry for leaving for SO LONG im dealing with a lot of personal stuff right now but im really trying to write more. i want to get faster at typing and i also needa feed my children. also most of this fic will be exposition and the events leading up to the climax like im not even joking its so long. hope yall enjoy this one. mwah) (and yes I based the songs on Taylor Swift and if you're gonna be in the replies being hateful, gtfo my page (kindly))

What if I told you I'm a mastermind?

And now you're mine.

I had always hid my true past from my teammates. Practically everyone. I only really had a journal, and even that was locked away under my rug under my bed. Nobody knew it was there, and nobody could access it without waking me up or making some kind of noise. It was a sacred book to me. I could talk to... something with it. I could express my feelings of wanting to go back to the way things were, but never wanting to leave Pandora. Never wanting to leave my friends. And never wanting to leave my lovers.

I'm a recombinant for the RDA. When I died in my human body, they had my DNA and were already growing my new body to be revived. I have my memories of my past life, and it was awesome. Until... my mom found out she was drafted for the mission on Pandora. I, being the best kid ever, took her place. My fans were scared for me, and tried to convince me not to. They'd heard it all, how dangerous Pandora was. Especially for a singer with no military experience or knowledge. But I accepted my fate. For my mother. For my family. I had siblings back home, and with me going on tour all the time, I wouldn't be able to take care of them if my mother was gone. So I accepted the fact that I was most likely, if not definitely, going to die on this mission.

And I did. My family recieved the news, but also learned about Project Phoenix. They were relieved to know that their kid was going to be revived, just maybe not the same.

-----

"Hey, ma. How're you?" Prager asked as I sat down at the table. It was lunch at the cafeteria. They pretty much just fed us protein-filled slop most of the time. Rarely, they would throw a cookie in there if it was a holiday on Earth.

"Oh, it's going alright, baby. Thanks. Hey, can I ask you a question?" I replied. Prager nodded and leaned in. "Do you think you could ask the Colonel if we could go out in the forest today and just... explore? He doesn't know this, but I actually have some science friends and they showed me some fruits and animals that we can harvest and safely eat. I tried some and Pandora food is good. Like, really good. I wanna surprise the team, and you know Colonel can't say no to you."

Prager agreed and once the Colonel sat at our table, he immediately started.

"Colonel, I was wondering if we could go out into the forest today and just have some fun. Explore, fuck around in some river or something?" Quaritch looked at Prager and gave that ONE sigh. (A/N: its giving "go get my purse") "Fine. But we ain't bringing a baby viperwolf home because Ja wants one." He glared at Ja. He was always the one to see a stray dog and say "please please pleaaaaase mom can we adopt it??" as a kid.

I silently thanked Prager for doing my bidding as always.

-----

We were out in the forest, going over the rules we've memorized by heart now. Once the Colonel finished up, I immediately took off. I was so excited to get some nice food that I didn't realize the cliff drop below me. I was suddenly falling, the wind rushing past my body and feeling almost painful as it hit my face and went away so fast, over and over again.

I dived head first into a lake. The drop wasn't that bad, I realized. Alicia was first on the scene, peeking over the dropoff with a worried look on her face as she hoped to God I wasn't dead. I waved my hand up at her and called out.

"Get down here, this is so fun!! Don't be afraid to get a running start either!" my voice echoed. "Are you okay??" she shouted back. "I'm amazing!!"

Alicia ran over to the others and told them to watch her. She embraced her inner child as she ran as fast as she could and leaped off the cliff. She felt the wind rush past her face as I had, and splashed in the water with me. The rest of my team ran over and looked. We were... fine? Lopez was next. He gladly jumped and plooshed in with us. Then Prager, Zhang, Walker, Warren, Mansk, Lyle, Fike, and finally... Quaritch. He took a chance and jumped.

We were playing and splashing each other with water as we finally relaxed for once. Of course, we had fear of predators. But we didn't care as much anymore. We were playing like kids and it felt so good.

-

After we dried off and got back to the forest, I took off again. This time, more careful. I found an abandoned basket in pretty good condition and took it with me to collect fruits and veggies. I collected some yovo fruit, some other stuff I didn't know the name of but still knew was safe, and finally it was time to get some meat. I was looking to make some nice Pandora burritos for everyone. I found a nice bow and some arrows, perhaps forgotten by a young hunter excited to show their family their haul.

While I was gathering food, one of my favorite songs got stuck in my head while I was thinking about my life back on Earth. I started humming... then singing the lyrics... then full belting the long notes. I didn't realize Lyle was near, close enough to hear but far enough to stay hidden. He'd never heard my songs because he was in the military before I even debuted. I'm sure he was confused who I was singing.

I got some hexapede meat, some meat from hard fruits, and I also took down a lone viperwolf. I put the stuff in the basket to bring home.

-

"What the Hell is all of this? What've you been doing this entire time? Why do you have a bow? Did you encounter a native?" Colonel asked. I said I found it and saw no booby traps so I took it. I explained that my friends at the lab wanted some samples so I got some for them. Obviously it was a lie, but I couldn't spoil the surprise.

He allowed me to take my findings and harvest home. I thanked him and was so excited to make him and our team a good meal for once.

-----

I got out my cutting board and my cooking knife and started chopping. I cooked some of that chicken-y stuff and some of that fruit. I thanked Mansk in my head for teaching me these things.

-

I radio'd everyone to come to my room. I said I had a surprise for them. "I swear to God, if we get there and you're on the bed naked again I will... actually not be mad." Lyle said back.

"This isn't that kind of surprise, Lyle. Just get over here!"

Once they all were in the room, I retrieved a tray with foil over it. The smell wafted into the room as I uncovered the gift. They were all so surprised and hypnotized by the burritos.

"For you guys! You deserve it. Take one, I insist!" I squealed. They all grabbed one and a paper towel and with the first bite, they relaxed their tense muscles and rolled their eyes back. They hadn't had a good meal like this in a good, long while.

"Hey, Y/N, what song were you singing in the forest? You were really loud... must've been one of your favorites or something. Is it on Spotify?" Lyle asked as he finished his first bite. My eyes widened. "You... heard that?"

"Yeah, I heard a little bit too. It was something about a new romantic or something like that." Zdinarsk added. "Yeah you were singing about something related to rings or something too." Mansk said. "I don't know, I could be wrong, but last time I checked, you weren't married." Lopez said.

"Um... can we forget all of that happened? Sorry, I was just getting carried away and I sang some of my own songs and-" I was soon cut off by the Colonel saying, "Wait- your songs?"

I soon shoved them out of my room, begging them to let it go and to not talk about it again. I closed the door behind me as I slid down the metal wall to the floor. I took some big, deep breaths and checked under my bed to check if my journal and hard drives were still there, even though I'd been with them the entire time. Phew! They're still there. I thought.

-----

The next day, at dinner in the cafeteria, I brought my bag with me and sat down with everybody acting like nothing was wrong. Conversation sparked when someone asked, "So what's everyone planning on doing tomorrow? Ardmore gave us the day off." I said I was planning on bingeing my favorite show wrapped in my blankets with my favorite foods. They all agreed and said they would be training, sleeping, exploring, hooking up, or something fun/relaxing.

I suddenly got a call from my friend on the phone. I knew it was something important, because my phone was blowing up with texts while she was waiting for me to answer. I hurriedly ran off to my room for privacy, forgetting my bag full of personal stuff. Including my hard drives. Zdog decided it couldn't hurt to see what I carry around all day, so she started digging. She found my sunglasses, hairbrush/comb, an unopened soda can, some loose candy, and... hard drives?

"Hey does anyone know why Y/N has hard drives in her bag?" Z asked. Nobody knew, so she decided to take them and pass them out for them to watch later. It for sure wasn't porn, Ardmore would've never let it through. It's gotta be some home videos or something.

-----

Zdog and the others piled onto the bed in her room and uploaded the drives onto her computer. They were numbered. They watched the first one and it was a black screen with the sound of a crowd cheering. It was around an hour long. They watched as a... stage appeared. A big one. It was a stadium full of people. A concert? Then appeared the person performing. It was... you. Some already made the connections, while others took a little bit. You were performing for around 70,000 people along with cameras so everyone could watch it live. they watched all of the hard drives all throughout the night, only falling asleep when they went through all of them.

-----

You were in your room, hanging up the call. turns out it was just some cute guy flirted with her at a restaurant. Only then did you realize that you left your bag in the cafeteria. You immediately went back for it, checking everything was there because people just love to snoop. You realized all of your hard drives were missing. You soon were banging on the Colonel's door, asking if he'd seen anybody take them or had anything in their hands. He wasn't there. You knocked on everyone's door and nobody answered. You went back to your room, wailing into your pillow. Those drives were the last thing you had of Earth. Of your entire life before the military. Soon enough, you cried yourself to sleep. In the morning, you slept in. It was your day off, after all. You heard a knock on the door. You recognized it as Z. You opened the door and there she was. She came in without an invite and immediately sat on your bed.

"Y/N. I am... just so sorry. When you left your bag in the cafeteria, I looked through it when I should've respected your privacy. I found hard drives and took all of them to my room and the rest of the team and I watched all of them. In order. All the way through. I am so sorry for disrespecting your right to privacy and watching the videos that were obviously private." She closes her eyes softly, looking down toward the floor with her hands twiddling in her lap. Too embarrassed and disappointed with herself to even look at me.

"Z, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have been so secretive. Especially with the ones who love me most. The truth is, I was a very rich and famous singer on Earth. You probably know that by now. So does everyone else. But I'm trying to work through it and not be embarrassed to share my past."

"It's not your fault. I love you. We love you. You never have to hide anything from us, but if you don't want it to be shared, that's okay too. So... can we listen to some of your songs?" Z laughed. I said yes an radio'd everyone to come to my room. I had a surprise.

MWAH I love yall!!!! hope you guys enjoyed i've had this au stuck in my head since like last year :) 💋💋

@dyingofcookies ITS HERE BESTIE

[awriternamedart]

yall know what time it is

For funsies whenever I do challenge stuff like this, I like to look back on the work I put and think over the decisions I made while on a time crunch!!

And since Sampard Week has come to an end once again, I might as well make the review public and open for the masses to see.

Each oneshot will be graded on a 0-10 scale determined by how much I think i put into the oneshot- by effort, consistency, continuity, characterization, and enjoyment in making. I will attempt to be fair to myself, its been a rough and stressful week on top of it, so lets just dive in headfirst!

all fics will be linked in this post as well, so consider it a masterpost of sorts.

Day 1 - Flowers | 6/10

Honestly this one was difficult. I was really struggling with the angle to take with this oneshot, and it took me more then a bit to settle on a draft I liked and could continue with. It was definitely more of an art prompt then a writing prompt, being so broad and vague means making a story out of it can be rather daunting or difficult. But in the end, Im content with how it turned out, even if it was the start of my mental deterioration with writing Sampo. So a bit of a rough start, but overall it works.

Day 2 - Traveling | 5/10

I love this one, I genuinely do. But uh- this was sampard week. not gepard is an uncle and sampos just there week. ADAJRJSJFJ

Seriously- I loved writing this, but I also found it to deviate a little to much towards the end from the original meaning for the post. It was meant to be a lot less focused on Luka and more on Gepard getting heatstroke and Sampo being Sampo. Not to mention, this fic has.. alot of errors.... I recently switched over to a new writing software, and it was after this fic that I learned where the autocorrect button was. Yeesh.

Day 3 - Neighbors | 8/10

This one? Good shit.

I LOVED writing this one. Since it was a 5+1, I felt like I could take it a bit easier with the scenes, and it meant I could delve a bit more into Sampo's character in a more modern setting. While this fic is truly where my frustrations with writing Sampo came to light, I feel like I did a good job at making peace with the part of me that yells the universe is gonna collapse if I dare to take a step to far from canon behavior. Its cute, its sweet, Gepard worked at FNaF, we had fun.

Day 4 - Domestic | 0/10.

i did not write. I cannot review writing where THERE IS NONE AHDHAJR

I do think this is a cute doodle for barely 15 minutes - i.. mixed up the band au days and skipped ahead mentally and forgot domestic was a prompt.. so uh yeah this entire came out of my panic of realizing oh shit. I dont have time to write a oneshot. and i dont have any ideas. BAM. so yeah a doodle!

Day 5 - Band AU | 7/10

i love plotless sillies.

Honestly this fic was meant to have a LOT more plot. It was originally Sampo going to a mechanical fever concert to check out the band since he wanted to audition as their drummer and then he just started crushing on the bassist. But then I went - im already being ultra indulgent by giving Gepard a bass and Sampo fishnet. And I want them to make out.

so yeah, i basically just went down the route of indulgence. I do wish I had written more- but it was during the writing of this oneshot that my stress had shot to an all time high and I ended up getting really sick from it for the rest of the week. So it has a lot of missed potential and while its good as it is, its one I would adore re-writing one day to give it a bit more oumph.

Day 6-7 - Dreams, Free Day | 8/10

As per last year, free day I did an Akrasia one shot. (For those of you who dont know, Akrasia is my sampard longfic that is an Alternate Canon based around the idea of what if Gepard went to the underground with the trailblazers) And I was like eh why the fuck not - Akrasia just turned a year old, so !!

And thus, this was born. I had no idea what to do for Day 6's prompt either, and as I sat on it over the week I realized that it would be best to combine the two as it would one- give me a rest day to hang out and touch grass and two- let me get a bit more in touch with the concept and explore it further. Akrasia is in a bit of a tight spot right now - I want to do more with it , but Im afraid of writing something that will conflict with a promise I made to write Akrasia's sequel should we go back to Belobog with a Sampo-central storyline. Which is why this oneshot is sent so far in the future, and even then I didnt do NEARLY as much as I wanted to. I wanted to more deeply establish the strain on them both for Sampo coming back, for the deeply seeded fear of failure that was planter in Gepards heart. I wanted to explore a bit more of Gepards arm lore since its a huge part of Akrasias base storyline, I wanted to touch a bit more on Sampo dodging around the universe after the Trailblazers, but in the end I am content and even happy with what came out of it. Their both just tired and deserve to rest with each other at the end of the day.

-

Aaand yeah thats about it. honestly surprised i survived the week , and even more so that I managed to finish on time , with almost every fic being nearly 3k words.

At the end I understand a few more flaws in my work - i use to many commas and tied together sentances, I struggle with overly formal word choice, etc - but its alot of fun to test these kinda things out. See where I was last year and know that I did better this year .

and lets hopefully do it again - next year :3

[aces-and-angels]

Will your Rowan and cute Abel have babies too? Create a family? Adopt? 🥺🥺

ooo solid question- it's actually something i've thought about, esp. after writing my thoughts on ilw's finale (here's abel's for context)

i'll add my thoughts below the cut bc i'm known to ramble lmaoo

---

the short answer: no- here's the long one lol:

to sum things up from my original deep dive, i chose the mixed ending for abel x rowan. and in order to tell yall what i think will transpire between them- i gotta quote ro herself:

Rowan: “I... I can’t leave with you, Abel, not yet. Maybe not ever... I need to make sure people like Matthias don’t hurt it again... This is who I am, Abel, I think it always will be.”

i wanna focus on the language being used here, not because i believe ro is unsure of her motivations, but to highlight that she has only begun establishing who she really is + how this newly found sense of self will play out in her day-to-day life.

on the flip side, there's abel. someone who has simply lived more life and isn't going through the same type of growing pains we leave ro with by story's end. he's a career academic, a family man- someone who wants to set down roots and excel in his field of study.

logistically, it would take years before they'd be ready to take the plunge and become parents. for rowan, it's just not in the cards. (🎶 it's my hc, i can do what a i want to~ 🎶) and she doesn't want to.

her definition of family isn't bound by children, adopted or otherwise. before that picnic, rowan (again, my interpretation of her) has never expressed any interest in having kids. a bit of a nihilist in that regard, actually. the world is too fucked up as it is, why add to its collective misery?

post-picnic, there's a lingering fear that settles along with her feelings on children. the fear of losing what she has at any point. as a result, nothing truly feels like it's hers. a large reason why rowan falls for abel can be seen here:

Rowan: I have to go back... Abel: Of course. You know you can always stay here if you want. Rowan: Your siblings wouldn't mind? Abel: No. There's always room for one more person, no matter how small the house is. *You can't help but smile at him, your chest tight. This sort of close-knit family isn't something you're used to anymore. You've stayed with Amalia's family, but you haven't had one of your own, not since that day in the mountains.*

(and it's not even technically a 'romance' option 😉)

family isn't just having/adopting children. it's playing board games on amalia's bedroom floor. it's struggling to keep pace with jocelyn (and moss) on early morning runs. it's late night drinks at lincoln's favorite bar in vegas. and it's a shared life with abel- who got rowan to believe there is space in her heart for him and everything else life has to offer. and that's enough.

plus- it's so much more fun to be the cool, badass auntie 💅🏻

[thefringespod]

It has been a bit of an awful week but it's officially #AudioDramaSunday! Here is the list of shows that kept me from resorting to violence this week

Let's start things off with @thesiltverses which I am now fully caught up with and I just. I love it so much. The way it builds these religions and saints and whatever the hell Val is is just so fascinating and also fucked up (affectionate) Its so so so good

@re-dracula had a 2 hour (!!) long episode this week and my gods it was glorious. We're getting close to the end now y'all and it's gonna be so goddamn good

THE EELS HAVE ARRIVED!! @eelerschoice episode 1 dropped this week and I'm already obsessed! I want to know everything about this world and these big eels!!! The world building that was done in ep 1 has me gnawing on wood like a bidoof I can't wait to see what comes next

We are in the midst of Tiny Terrors 31 Days of Halloween and it's all SO GOOD

Favorite from the first week:

-The Wrong Reflection

-The Rot

-Boy in the Mask

-Men Only

But seriously all of the episodes have been stellar and Tiny Terrors is just so much fun to begin with

@doyoucopypod hurt me this week <3 which I have come to expect <3 This show is just a beautiful (and at times terrifying) depiction of grief and the different ways to handle it. It makes me cry but I love it so much

@kingmakerpod was back at it again this week and it was SO GOOD!!!!! Colette on her own is so much more confident than she was in the first season. She's killing people on purpose now and it is her right <3

Now that I'm caught up on TSV I'm fully diving into The Wyrd Side and I am loving it so much. Its like if true crime was actually fun, I love the style of the show and love every bit of supernatural mystery it uncovers

On the Fringes front I'm still working through editing and my cast is still making me cry with their immense talent. I'm also writing all of the very plot heavy episodes of season 3 currently and I think yall are gonna like what happens <3

And in case you missed it we've had our first 2 cast announcements for @forgedbondspod ! Tot and Tay are a joy to work with and im so grateful they've decided to put up with me for another show. Current writing episode 6 and very Sapphic things are afoot :)

That's all for this week! Things are a little rough on the day job front (someone quit out of nowhere and I've absorbed even more of his work than I had already been doing) but the busy-ness there just makes me want to throw more of myself into these shows <3

[himbos-hotline]

fic writer asks: 4, 10, 13, 17, 22, 23 ~

4.) Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Honestly? really anywhere. Some of my fics come from sentences that appear in my brain or sometimes they happen because I can picture an animatic to a song and because I can't animate for shit- I write it. Some of my favourite fics I have ever written comes from outta all palces, Uquizz questions. Or answers. My first hangman/kenny fic came from a uqizz answer that made me kinda tear up. It is my favourite thing ive ever written. I have no real place to dive into the well of answers- its just constantly getting little idease and filling up!

10.) Cltr+f "blinks" on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up

The first thing Matt does when he finally bundles Jay through the door to the Elite’s hotel room is grab them softly by the shoulders. She blinks at him as if he doesn't know him; confused and frog-like. The light looks like it burns their eyes and Nick tries his best to dim the lamps bestie the beds, fiddling with the buttons before the light becomes soft glowing embers and Jay stops squinting. There’s the last of few snowflakes sticking to their hair, melting away into small patches of wetness.. Matt reaches down and rushes them away, feeling them disappear against the calloused pads of his fingers.

From: The ghost story would be over [Chapter three]

13.) what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

If you can tell from anything I've written, im always big on show don't tell. Sure just telling someone something really puts the point across but I think sometimes extended methaphors and flowery language pulls so much more emotions and thoughts out of the readers and really makes me think upon specific lines. Also this is the only advice I can give to new writers, is have fun! You are writing for you first and even if YOU think its bad, theres gonna be someone out there thats gonna love it. Only You can write the stories that you wanna tell, so do it! I'm proud of you for putting a small amount of your soul into the words.

17.) What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

I re-read some of my stuff, read some of my favourite fanfics. Talk to my big sibling about writng ideas. Honestly just try to force a little idea out. All writing is good, even if its just a sentence that youre gonna end up deleteing. Remind myself that this is for me first of all, im writing because I like providing content and I love wrestling and writing for it, I love my friends and the content they produce. I also am big on going back through comments and tags on reblogs of my old fics because that shows me that I CAN DO THIS! even if it takes me a little while, I will get something out that I will be proud off and people are going to love it.

22.) Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

Oh boy, theres a few if I think about it. I wont write X reader because theyre just, not my style. I like going into a characters emotions and thoughts and feelings. I can't do that with X reader. I also rely a lot on descriptions so thats also another thing that you cant do in X readers. I reblog the ones that I like because I'll read them now and again. I wrote write Buckcest for reasons I really shouldnt have to go into. Things like rape or like extreme tortue is another one I wont write. I also won't write anything A/B/O or Mpreg cuz personally I think its gross. Afgain yall can like what yall like but its just not my vibe- makes me feel all kinda squirmy inside. I can't write first person POV for shit and second POV just feels odd, I think i've written it once and it was a STRUGGLE. Also just because I throw so much into fics that they get outta my hands. I could not stick to the 100 words only drabbles. Theres just so much story and build up I love to write and again with the flowery language 100 words just isnt enough!

23.) Best writing advice for other writers?

HAVE FUN! thats the most important thing! You should at least enjoy writing and it should have a possitve effect on you. It should be fun. theres also some tips somewhere on my blog. I have a tag or at least HAD a tag that should be 'mouses writing advice' theres a whole buncha tags there

ask game // list of wips

[barzzal]

between halls and thin walls → part three

summary: friends who fool around almost never work. almost.

↳ pairing: mathew barzal x you

↳ warnings: fingering, fem and male receiving, mentions of pornography, sexual/suggestive themes, swearing, mat not knowing how to eat pussy, anddd too much sneaking around i’m hating myself for it

↳ genre: fluff, angst, smut, roommates au, best friend’s best friend, friends with benefits, 18+

↳ length: series; part one, part two, part three (8.6k), part four, part five, part six

↳ masterlist: the barn

↳ track: god is fair, sexy nasty, cinderella, planet god damn by mac miller

note: so sorry for the wait! have been a lot busier with uni :(( took weeks for me to finally sit down and write on my laptop to finish this aaaah anw here’s the update and i’m making it up to yall i hope you like!! happy reading babies <3

“Wait–” you break off, your fingers already weaving through his ever so gorgeous hair. 

“What about Tito?” you fret.

You’re sure there was at least a hint of annoyance in his voice. Possibly irked that you had to ruin the one thing you both have been craving for for weeks.

“He won’t come home, trust me.” he says, lips already making its way back to touch your skin, nestling on your jawline, before trailing down to the intricate line of your neck, his movement hasty with a sense of hunger and urgency. 

You didn’t mind. It felt good. 

“Okay– no. Let’s stop this for a sec.” you try to snap out of it, pushing him away but just enough to keep him within arms reach. You rest both your hands on his broad shoulders whilst he rests his on your hips, just a few inches above your ass. 

“We need to clear things out.” you start, eyes lingering on his irises, making you wet your lips at the sight. 

“Didn’t we clear things out thrice now?” he quirks his brows, “And it kinda looks like we’re about to clear the same thing for the fourth time. What’s not clear about it?” Mat kids, half laughing as he lets you punch him playfully, “I’m not kidding, Barz.” you say, clearing your throat. 

You didn’t mind for any of his double entendres but you did mind the fact that whatever’s about to happen tonight is bound to tip the scales of whatever it was that you were having with Mathew.

“Fine. Let’s talk,” he agrees. He walks towards the bed just as he began pulling his shirt off over his head to undress himself.

“Mathew!” you call him yet again, earning yourself a defensive shrug from him, “What? We’re gonna have sex either way might as well talk while we’re at it, right?” he counters, “Now, take your clothes off.”

Regardless of being annoyed at him for acting like an unreasonable child engaging in too much banter, you let out a laugh in disbelief, letting Mathew’s quirks have a hold on you. You roll your eyes out but do as you’re told and begin taking your shirt off which you then throw his way. 

Mat whistles, a smirk sprouting off his lips, evidently in awe of how good you looked half-naked, “Wow.”

You cock up a smirk and shrug to play it off, “Well, you’re not so bad yourself.” you turn the compliment back which Mat only reciprocated with a taunting wink, brushing his shoulder briefly like an idiot.

“So. How do you want to play this?” you inquire.

“Naked, I hope.” he laughs, putting his sweats off revealing nothing but his boxers on. When he sees you roll your eyes, yet again, almost wondering if you’re going to bawl it out at any moment, Mat clears his throat and decides to dial down his terrible jokes. 

“Fine. Let’s just say we’re doing ‘Friends with Benefits’ or, you know, what was that movie again?” he thinks for a second, snapping his fingers as he gathers a few romantic comedies he’s seen in the past. “No Strings Attached! The one with Natalie Portman! Yeah, that’s the one.” he marvels.

You look at him quite stunned that he’s familiar with these movies. “Wow. I thought you guys are just into full-on pornography and sports.” 

“Hey!” he retorts, defending himself at once, “I’m speaking your language, dumbass. And for the record, I don’t like porn.” with that, you let out a loud laugh accompanied by a scoff, obviously not buying any of his lies. To which Mat jumps to defend himself the moment he sees the mocking look in your eyes, “What?? Not all men likes pornography, y/n.”

With both hands on your hips, you arch your brow at him and reply with a revolting grin, “First rule, no lying. I wasn’t born last night, Barzal.”

“Fine. I don’t like it like it.” he points out just as he averts your gaze, “But I’m certainly not against it. Those girls need to make a living, y/n.” 

You meet his cocky remark with an exasperated sigh, “You’re such a pig.” 

Mat answers with a shrug, letting your judgmental glares slide, “Call me names, I don’t care. You’re the one sleeping with a pig.”

And as if it had been expected all along, it didn’t take long for the both of you to end up in bed, wearing nothing but your skin, breathing in each other’s breaths, gasping as you let yourselves let loose with the company of a friend.

Mathew marvels at the sight of your heaving chest whilst his head was wedged in between your thighs, going on endless circles as he nibbles on your clit, perhaps trying a little too hard to make you meet your high. 

What the fuck is he doing? is probably what every girl has asked herself when a man goes down on her thinking that he already got her all figured out. 

Mathew knew what he was doing to be fair. He was there. For the most part. His fingers were nothing but magic but his mouth was a different subject. It was almost as if he was overachieving something. Kind of like the way he does during plays that would eventually cause them the game. 

He’s in his head a little too much. That’s for sure. You didn’t want to ruin the moment so you decide to let it slide and put on your best suit. After all, it wasn’t the first time you had to fake your sexual orgasms. You weren’t entirely surprised though. Half of the men you’ve gone out with didn’t know shit about eating pussy. And Mat was pretty, at least he had that going on for him.

You bit your lower lip, trying to suppress the fact that you weren’t enjoying it. Mat was doing all sorts of things at once and it was all too much. Too much that you’d rather finish the job yourself than have someone licking your region like a fucking chew toy.

As much as you didn’t want to, you arch your back and let out a fake moan, curling your fingers on the sheets, the other tugging on Mat’s hair, staging the perfect scene Mat had wanted to see. He emerges from below and hovers on top of you with a proud grin on his face, oblivious of the dramatic pin you’ve successfully put into the night. 

“And that, my friend,” he smirks, “is how you do it.”

Oh, believe me, it is not. You try to smile, “Hm. It’s that easy, huh?” 

“Well, yeah. Think of it like a scrimmage.” he says as he starts to pepper kisses on your cheeks, his hands roaming around your body, compensating for what his mouth missed. “Or a shootout even.”

“I’m thinking no.” you deny, “Rule two, if talking hockey is your definition of dirty talk, you better zip it.” you stress out as you prop your leg around his waist in order for you to move on top of him. 

Mat chuckles, trying to mask how much he longed to feel your mouth envelop his member. There hasn’t been a day where the image of you sucking his length didn’t enter his mind. It didn’t matter where he was. Whether he was in the shower, on the road with the boys, leaving for practice, or just tying his skates. He wanted nothing more than to look down at you as your little tears revolt to escape your doe eyes whilst you take him whole. Indeed, it was a sight for Mathew. And god knows how much he’s willing to give just to see it again. 

You spit just as you kiss the tip of his shaft, stroking his length in a circular motion to spread your saliva on his cock before you proceed on pressing gentle kisses on his head; edging him for not letting you cum— unconsciously wanting him to know how to give a goddamn head the right way. 

You patiently went your way as you began taking him in your mouth, inching down his thickness without breaking off of his dark and lustful gaze. Mat rests his head on the headboard, his breathing growing heavy and hoarse whilst he watches his dick be consumed by your hollowing cheeks, sucking the life out of him. 

“Fuck. You’re so good.” he groans, pulling your hair with his free hand before guiding you further down his dick. “Yeah, that’s it.”

Flattered by his praises which you find undeniably hot, you pop him out of your mouth, letting all your spit drip onto it just before gathering it back once you start licking him underneath, sucking on his balls as your tongue goes on little circles, playing with it for a while before letting it go with a loud pop. 

You watch Mat lose his mind with every movement you make but you know full well not to let him come in your mouth. It’s bad enough you didn’t get to come the first time he tried tonight. You won’t have yourself seeing the light of day high and dry while Mat gets to doze off the second you leave for his door. 

You climb on top of him. Mat was rather quick to let his hands find its way to your hips, your pussy sitting on his flat stomach just enough to let him know how wet you still are for him in spite of not getting the fun you’ve wanted for your own. 

“Where’s the rubber?” you ask him. Mat props himself quickly and carefully shifts towards his bedside table. You feel him on your back, poking on your skin whilst he pulls out one of the drawers. He fishes a wrapped condom straight from the box which he then swiftly opens with his teeth, motioning for you to get off of him first so he could get settled. 

“Ready?” you ask him, “Ready.” 

Mat rolls over and secures you in between his hands resting on both sides of your head. You feel his head poking against your abdomen as he finally takes his shaft to rub it in between you far too moistened slit just before he takes the plunge and dive deep.

“So,” you struggle to find the words as Mat finally starts making up for his loss a while ago. Your fingers envelop his nape, digging on his skin as you let himself adjust inside you. Stretching you whole with barely half his dick pushing through you.  Thank god this was one of the many things Mat definitely did not suck at. 

“Wanna walk me through this whole set up?” 

Mathew groans, his chest hard against yours as he pumps inside you at a steady pace; one that was pleasurably slow. One that had you closing your eyes whilst you let your head sink into his pillows. 

Despite working his way on tending to too many things at once, with his thumb brushing on one of your nipples, his lips attached to your earlobes, and his free hand secured on your hips, Mat whispers in your ear. “It’s like what we’ve agreed on that night.” he breathes heavily, his mind trailing off to that night momentarily before he speaks again, “We’re friends.”

“And?” you whine as you feel his wet lips brush briefly on your sensitive skin just enough to send chills up your spine, making you crave more of his touch; a grave wanting kindling inside your gut like fire.

“Friends…” he repeats in between kisses, “who likes to do this.” his lips travel from the corner of your lips and onto your jaw line. He then lets himself pull away just so he could look you in the eye, all whilst maintaining both your bodies moving in sync as you follow his lead. 

“You do know that things like this almost never work, right?” you honestly say, telling him the very same thing you’ve told him when you first crossed the line and threw everything you’ve progressively built with him throughout the years of being Anthony’s best friends. 

“Almost is good enough for me.” he counters with a husky voice, feeling constrained by how tight your pussy was around him. It had been a while and Mat was going insane just by thinking about how your cunt was made exactly for him. It was absurd for him to think such a thing but he would not deny the sensation coursing through his veins as if sex had become something entirely new to him. That you have miraculously been able to paint something far better than what he’s already gotten used to for who knows how long; luring him into the worst kind of addiction he could get himself into.  And although Mathew wanted to hate himself that it had to happen with you, he knew he couldn’t. 

“Let’s not have secrets,” he suggests. You raise both your brows, quite intrigued that he requested such a thing. “We’re not that close to have secrets, Barzal.” you remind him. 

“Exactly!” he cheers, voice briefly rising as you let out a moan escape when he pushes himself deeper through your heated walls. Mat hurriedly locks your mouth with his, swallowing all your moans before continuing with his case. 

“That’s the point. We’re not that close so we shouldn’t be keeping anything from each other. You tell me everything. Good or bad, and I’ll do the same.” 

You shoot him a questioning look, pushing him briefly so you could position yourself on top of him. Your action was very much well-received on Mathew’s end and it’s amazing how he’s able to lift you close to his torso before the two of you roll over the switch-game without letting his dick slip out of you. 

“Are you saying we’re going to be in a relationship? You’re way over your head, mister.” you laugh because it was exactly what it sounded. At least for you.

Mat rolls his eyes as he takes a pillow to support his back. His hands then roamed from your thighs before settling to cage your hips to lock it with his, “First of all, bold of you to assume that’s ever gonna happen.” 

You scoff.

“Second, it’s more of a mutual agreement and definitely less than a relationship.” he points out to reiterate that having said ‘relationship’ with you was the last thing he wanted. 

Your hands take rest atop his chest as you start working on rocking your hips at a gentle pace; the kind that had Mathew at a loss for words for a moment, his body taking over his mind as your physique towers all over him. Mathew meets you halfway while you do most of the work. He angles himself forward so as to reach for your tits, his mouth latching on one of your buds, thirsty like a newborn child. Your fingers find their way to his tousled hair, its disheveled state unbelievably making him much more difficult to resist. 

The two of you worked each of your own highs whilst you rock each other’s bodies. Exchanging moans and groans thrown carelessly throughout the room. You were all over Mathew as much as he was with you. His strong and capable hands that moved so well on your body, made you crave for more. Mathew took control of the pace now, his arms embracing your waist closer to his body that no amount of spatial space could ever be perceived by either of you.

“Come for me.” Mat orders, voice almost inaudible as he was chasing his own, the moment he feels you throb rapidly around him, fluttering like butterflies while he watches you shut your eyes. Just like that, you finally reach the ecstasy you’ve been longing for the whole night; one that was specifically shut down by Mathew’s stale mouth.

You let Mat take over. He orders you to turn your back against him before he pulls you rapidly close to his front, your ass perked up close to his skin. His mouth leaves fashioned bites on your neck whilst he held you firmly by your forearm. Mathew begins pounding on you hard from behind, his sharp and abrupt movements painting bruises you know will show up the next morning. 

You were all over the place and you didn’t care. It was messy, it was loud. The sound Mathew’s lips leave on your skin, his balls banging against your pussy, your moans— his groans. Everything was off the record book but neither of you wanted to stop. 

With one final thrust, you feel his body grow all the more rigid behind you. Mathew’s hand was wrapped firmly around your neck whilst he caught his breath. 

“You good back there, bud?” you ask, chuckling. 

“Oh, shut up.” he says, finally letting you go. 

The two of you gather yourselves. Mat discards the wrapper and offers to clean up after the mess he’d made but you profusely decline. 

“I’m not your girlfriend. You don’t have to take care of me.” you tell him with a strong suit as you begin picking up your clothes. 

“I know–” he cuts himself off when he sees you getting into your pants, “Where are you going?” he questions. 

“Rule four. No staying the night.” you point out, grabbing your sweatshirt from the floor. “You come to my room, I come to yours, but that’s that. No more, no less.” you add. 

Mathew looks stunned. Obviously on board with how well you were taking things so easily. 

“Alright then, buddy.” he strides his way towards his bed still naked. 

“We don’t speak about any of this in the morning.” you warn him for you know how the three of you tend to leave the house almost at the same exact time as each other. Meaning that this new setup of yours is bound to be much difficult if you let anything slip off your hold. 

Mathew runs his fingers on his lips as if to zip it before he jumps on the bed, already reaching for his phone that was on his bedside table so he could check the gram.

You were just on your way out of his door when he called you one last time, a teasing smile creeping on his lips, “What’s rule five?”

“No funny business.” you say at once. You look at him one last time with your own teasing smile to mock him from across the room, “No strings attached.” you say, repeating how he used the movie as a reference from a while back before finally disappearing into the hall. 

𖥸

Who would have known agreeing to such a set up would mean getting laid almost every chance you get?

It had been a few weeks since you and Mat committed to your foolish escapades after sorting out your mutual agreement. Said escapades involve a handful of times of you driving over to the Coli to pick him up right after his morning skate and get off the back of your car. It wasn’t that big of a deal being that Mathew usually rides with Anthony for work. Of course, there were also times where you would call him into your office just to grab a quick lunch. On those times you always make sure to leave out at least half an hour or so before going home to avoid unnecessary suspicions from Tito and you and Mathew have been mindful so as not to let him notice anything. 

Mat had mentioned how he was already looking for a place nearer to yours and Tito’s but farther than his previous complex. The place was half an hour less than the travelling time Tito had to drive to from when they used to ride together going home. And now that you were officially friends and more than just acquaintances, Mat has asked you to come and see the place with him. 

You took a lift on your way to Mat’s and let’s just say, that for a man with a whopping 21M at his disposal, the building was grand but it wasn’t as boujee as you’ve expected. It might’ve been your lack of a better judgement but Mathew just didn’t seem to be the kind of guy who would be smart when it comes to his finances. You’ve always thought that he was the kind to splurge on things whenever he gets the chance. Although much to your surprise, just like everyone else, he was a simple man. 

You knock on the door a few times before you hear the familiar footsteps nearing the front door. 

“Hey,”  a signature grin welcomes you. He opens the door wider and invites you in. “Took you long enough.”

“Well, I had better things to do, Barzal.” you retort as you start to scan the vicinity. 

The flat had floor to ceiling windows so the surroundings were well lit. You were making your way further when you noticed a few sealed boxes laying around what you assumed to be where the living space was going to be. 

“I thought you were just looking?” you ask, brows furrowed in confusion whilst you look back at him, pointing on the storages with your thumb. 

As expected, the entire apartment was painted in white and beige tones. Pretty much like every Islander’s home you’ve been to. It was quite spacious just like his former home. That being said, spacious doesn’t necessarily mean ‘good’ sometimes. For one thing, it didn’t feel home to you. It felt like a cage with huge-ass windows overlooking a scenery you can’t even lay your hand on. You keep your thoughts to yourself, not wanting to ruin Mat’s excitement for the place. Sure enough, it’ll all come together once he gets settled. 

Mat walks towards you, taking a deep breath. “I was. But the offer was really good so I figured signing the lease right away would be a smart move.” he explains. When he sees your gaze trail off onto the boxes again, Mat feels the need to reassure you that he wasn’t going to move out of your apartment just yet. 

“I won’t be moving in for another month or two, just to be clear. Those are just some stuff I didn’t want hogging all the space at home.” he says candidly pertaining to your apartment as his home, not even realizing the weight he had tied to his words. 

You were quick to dismiss your own unsolicited thoughts and carried on with the semi-tour Mat was starting to indulge you with. “Are you sure you’re gonna live here alone? Feels like a whole penthouse up here.” you honestly say, half-laughing as you make way towards the hallway. 

“Yeah. I mean, it would be great for when the team comes over.” he says as he follows your tracks. “The penthouse is actually two floors above mine though.”

You roll your eyes at his subtle remark, “Why’d you made me come here anyway?”

And as if Mat had remembered the task he originally had in mind, he walks right past you to lead the way. “I want your opinion on something.” 

“Really? What is it?” you inquire, following after his footsteps. Mat stops and opens a door leading to what you assume is the master bedroom. Situated at the center of the fairly spacious room is a california king sized bed, waiting patiently to be slept on. 

Mat looks back at you and says, “D’you think it’s any good?” 

He lets you roam around the place, setting yourself down on the foot of the bed. “Bed’s nice actually.” you tell him and you stand at once to look more of his semi-furnished room. 

“How nice is it exactly? Like, nice to sleep on or nice to not get any at all?” you turn around, rolling your eyes at his sleazy innuendos. “You’re such a tool. You really made me come all the way here to get me tied down this bed?” 

Mat only answers with a shrug. An adorable one to be exact. “What? That’s what friends are for, y/n. Now, come on. Test the bed with me.” he says, taking your hand at once before you could even answer. He lets himself fall onto the bed as he caught your weight in his arms, your bodies dangerously close to each other, feeling your own body temperatures. 

His hands roam around your clothed physique just as he starts to cage you in a well heated kiss. Your lips dance with his, letting his tongue slip whenever he gets the chance, nibbling on your tongue as the two of you enjoy exchanging your own take on what house warming gifts are supposed to look like. 

Mat’s hands were already gripping on the curve of your ass when the sound of your and Mathew’s kisses were stopped by a sudden knock on the door. Your hand immediately trailed down from Mat’s nape to his chest, “Are you expecting someone?”, he thinks for a second, both of his hands still secured on your bottoms.

“Oh!” he gasps upon remembering who could it possibly be, “It’s probably my realtor. He’s picking some stuff up, I’ll go get it.” he says, propping himself up as a cue for you to get off of him. 

“Would you mind getting the door? I’ll be quick, I promise.” he adds, looking back at you as he steps out of the room, heading for the other side of the hallway. He speaks in an apologetic tone, feeling sorry for having to cut off the purpose of your visit. So, in an effort to let him know he had nothing to worry about, you shake your head as you finish straightening the wrinkles off your work clothes. 

“No, it’s all right, I got it.” you give him a reassuring smile.

You gladly make your way towards the door, not even bothering to look through the hole. You hand enveloped the cold metal, swinging the door wide open, leaving yourself not a chance at escape as soon as your eyes landed on those all too familiar big blue ones you’ve known all your life.

“Y/N?” a puzzled expression was all you could make out of Tito’s face. You tried stumbling for a few words in the hopes of calming your already racing heart impending to escape your chest at any moment. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks in utmost bewilderment. You were still in shock being that you’ve never lied to Anthony before since he’s the only one you’ve told everything to most of the time. Having him here, clearly unexpected, has evidently thrown you off guard.

You maintain your gaze at him and throw the same question back, “What are you doing here?”

“Mat and I are going out with Mikey and Noah for drinks.” he answers quickly so he could throw the ball your way, “You didn’t answer me. I didn’t know you knew about this place already?” he furrows his brows, looking over your shoulder to get a glimpse of his best mate. 

“Uhm. Mat called me to discuss a few things. Showed me some stuff too.” you nervously say, tip toeing on the fact that what you just told him wasn’t entirely a lie. You open the door all the way and finally let him in. Your knuckles were wrapped hard around the cold metal knob, wishing that Mat would come out to the room to save your ass. 

You must have gotten on a wrong foot and told Tito a lie that’s bound to invite more suspecting queries.

“Really? What stuff?” 

His bed, where he was just about to defile me on. 

Thankfully, Mat walks out the open room holding an envelope in his hand, immediately halting his tracks the moment he sees Anthony looking straight at him. 

“Beau! What–” he tries to remain composed, but you know Tito would definitely pick up on something just by how pale Mat’s face was. Dead and cold like someone who had seen a ghost for the first time. 

“What— am I doing here?” Anthony finishes Mat’s question just as he turns his gaze back at you. You try to avert his gaze but you figured it’s best not to. You need to go before him strong and level headed. The last thing you and Mathew want is to get caught in the act by no other than the last person you want to know about it. 

“What?” He laughs, brushing Tito’s biting tone off. “I know why you’re here, silly.” he tries to search in his head momentarily, but when he takes long enough, Tito answers it for him. “Drinks, man. You texted me for drinks.”

“Oh– yeah, no. I knew that.” he breathes out an uneasy laugh. 

“Why is Y/N here? I didn’t know you guys hung out? The last time I checked you can’t even last in the same room without slashing each other’s throats.” he smirks.

Surprisingly, Mat was fast enough to come up with quite a clever way to sway Anthony from his inkling suspicions. One that made sense, but not necessarily helpful in your end. “Psh. That?” Mat throws a hand towards your way, dismissing your presence in his unfurnished apartment, “She told me she needs money so I hired her to move my boxes for me. She even insisted on listing all the stuff I’ll eventually get rid of online.” 

Anthony looks back at you, surprised that you didn’t go and asked for his help instead. “How much do you pay her?” he asks Mat again. 

“Uh, five… ten bucks?” Mat scratches the back of his head and your face immediately falls to your palm. 

“Ten?” he questions, glancing at you. “Don’t you have your own office and a secretary? What do you need the ten bucks for?” Tito’s tone was now getting more curious and Mat, just like he always was, was dumb enough to forget you were earning more than just ten bucks for a living. 

“Did I say ten? I meant fifty— per hour.” Mathew takes it back instantly, following it with a lie that involves you asking him for a job because your publisher ordered you to for a book she wants you to sign for. Not that any of it made sense but at least Anthony seemed to have bought it. When you agree, Mat immediately takes Anthony in his arms as he guides him out to the door, snatching his coat resting atop his kitchen island. 

Mat looks over to you once more, both of their bodies already at the other side of the door, “You did great today, y/n. I’ll write you a check in the morning!” he says pushing Tito, who was still asking questions, farther from the door. 

Before Mathew disappears, he looks at you with his big doe eyes already thanking you for going along such a stupid make-up excuse. You roll your eyes as you watch him mouth a quiet ‘Sorry’, flashing his ever so gorgeous smile before him and Tito finally went on their way.  

𖥸

You’ve gotten used to how lazy Mat and Tito are during their off days. They would rather stay at home and play endless video games with each other than spending it with something less dumb than their stupid Xbox. Luckily, today wasn’t like those days because you happened to have your free day as well. You all agreed to spend the evening binging the entire Fast and Furious franchise. 

The three of you were cramped on the cloud couch. To put it in simply, you were sandwiched between two huge hockey players. Your back was leaning on Tito’s strong shoulders as it was laying just above your head. The huge bowl of half-eaten popcorn safely sits in between your middle, hugged by your stomach and your curled up legs, your sock-covered feet brushing against Mat’s thighs innocently. Almost as innocent as how you ignore Mathew’s hands creeping underneath the thick wool covering your body. 

Alarmed at how dangerously close Mat’s creeping palm was to your inner thigh, you shot him a warning look which was, as expected, answered by a defensive, and seemingly harmless “What?” look on his face. You roll your eyes, cautious as to not make any sharp movements for the benefit of Tito. You shift your position, angling your body away from Mathew and towards the direction of the screen instead. You let your body sink in your best friend’s shoulder, clueless that your movement had just given Mat the exact opening he was hoping for. 

With wide eyes, you give Mat’s thigh a firm nudge as carefully as you can, “Are you being serious right now?” you mouthed. Mat stifles a smirk and moves his hand away, keeping it to himself. You try turning your attention back to the television but somehow, Mathew’s actions left your mind wondering what he was about to do next. 

Gently, you stir back to your original position, propping yourself from leaning against Tito. 

“Hey, could you please fill this up for me?” you ask him nicely. Thankfully, Anthony reaches out for the bowl without letting his eyes break off the screen. “Thanks, Beau.” you add the moment he starts walking towards the kitchen. 

“Why’d you stop?” you cautiously whisper, asking Mathew who was surprised by your sudden inquiry.

“I thought you didn’t want me to.” he answers on the same level of your tone, putting his hand back on your shin. The warmth of his palm sends a familiar sensation down your region.

Looking back at the archway leading to the kitchen, you quietly tell him, “I asked if you’re being serious. I never said no.” 

Your candidness was met by Mathew’s widening smile, incapable of stopping himself from biting his lower lip, finding your bluntness quite adorable. “Be quiet.” he mutters as he clears his throat, eyeing Tito who was just returning from the kitchen holding a bowl full of popcorn fresh from the microwave. 

“Thank you.” you say the moment Anthony hands you the bowl. You scootch over, making you a lot closer to Mat. Tito places his arm back over the couch, allowing extra space for you. Once you got yourself in a position comfortable enough to last for the remaining half of the movie, your mind flies away, briefly forgetting the exchange you and Mathew just had. 

It was not even a full minute when you feel Mat’s very much capable hand start creeping underneath the thick cloth again. You swallow a giant lump in your throat, your senses already heightened just by the mere contact of his rough and calloused hand on your skin. 

You were wearing a pair of sweat shorts, the kind that were loose enough to let Mat maneuver his way deeper down your thighs so effortlessly. You steal quick glances towards his way but to no avail, Mat’s eyes were nowhere else other than the screen. His fingers, however, told quite a different story. 

You did the exact thing as him and put your sole focus on the movie. The sound of Anthony’s breathing was a good reminder to not let anything slip off of you unconsciously, especially now that Mat’s long fingers were inching its way to the thin fabric covered by your night wear. 

Mat begins to brush his middle finger over your delicates. You bury a part of your face underneath the thick cloth whilst your eyes are still pinned on the screen. The scene where Dom goes rogue plays and the light of the television flashes before your eyes. 

You tried to listen to Tito when he tells you about that time you went to the movies to see the film, trying to space out from Mat’s finger drawing idle circles on the thin fabric of your underwear, easing you just right, evidently taking his time fondling in between your clothed lips.

When he feels your moistness on his skin, Mat sophisticatedly slides a finger in your underwear just so he could feel the wetness of your folds. 

You on the one hand, keep your face hidden under the only light flashing from the screen. You manage to choke down your whimpers and instead lean your force towards the bowl you’re holding. However, you fail to stifle a gasp when Mat slides a finger inside you, making you stir just enough to stop your sudden movement from being unnoticed by Beauvillier. 

“You okay?” he asks, a concerned tone embracing his voice. You meekly nod, saying that you were just too caught up watching the film. He then takes his attention back, pretty much like the grinning Mathew sitting on the other end. 

You shoot a knowing look when you meet Mat’s irises. He casually plays it off just as he remains busy on his own, his fingers curling inside you with ease, pumping in and out at a slow pace, not wanting to let any of his movements show on the surface of your blanket. As Mat continues pleasuring you, you gather all your strength to stay still and calm your breathing. To no prevail however, knowing how good of a fucker Mat was, you knew you won’t be able to hold it in longer than you’re supposed to. 

Your heart almost beats right out your chest when Anthony’s phone starts to ring. You prop yourself up, causing Mat’s finger to do just the same inside you. You shut your eyes at the feeling and chose to clear your throat. 

Anthony takes his phone and looks at the two of you, “I need to take this. Just watch the movie without me.” he says, already standing to head for the balcony at the other side of the room. You sigh in relief, letting yourself fall back on where Tito used to sit, allowing more space for Mat’s miraculous fingers. 

He adjusts his seat, cautiously looking back after Tito’s track just to make sure he was no longer near the two of you. He looks at you, attention faltering from the screen as he slides another finger inside you. 

“Don’t make a sound. Stay still.” he orders, pumping his way in just as he glides his thumb to massage your clit. Your hand takes rest on your forehead, your eyes closed at every pleasure thrown your way, almost forgetting that you were holding a bowl full of finger food on your stomach. Mat must’ve caught on and ensured no unnecessary noises would make Anthony come back just yet when he takes the bowl off your middle to set it down the coffee table. 

“Fucking hell, Mat.” you can’t help but moan, arching your back once you feel your arousal come close. 

“Do it, y/n. Come on my fingers.” he growls in a low register, moving his way into hitting the spot at just the right speed, not wanting to prolong your misery any longer. 

You reach for his hands, your grip on him tighter than ever. Mat feels you come around his finger, eyes pinned on your spent up state harder than it was when the two of you were still watching the movie. When he feels your pulsating core starts to die down, he slips his fingers out your slit, eventually taking it in his mouth to suck your far too addicting juices.

You fix yourself up, eyeing Tito who had just ended his call. Mat looks at you, quite proud of himself.

“At least your fingers make up for what that pretty mouth can’t.” you say with a taunting smirk before standing up to get yourself a glass of water just as Beau finally comes back from the balcony, leaving Mathew with his mouth slightly agape and without a doubt dumbfounded.

𖥸

It was an hour before midnight but the house was already asleep. The boys had to call the night early because of the morning practice they have first thing tomorrow. But you still had some energy left so you figured drawing yourself a calming bath would help soothe your mind and maybe even up the chances of having yourself a well-deserved good night’s sleep. 

Now that you’re feeling better and getting ready for bed, your bathrobe hugs your body whilst you finish off your night routine so you could finally dip into the comfort of your sheets, the cream white duvet calling onto you as you picture yourself dozing off for the night. 

The strides you were just making out of your bathroom were put into a stop by how your door sprung open wildly, revealing one troubled Mathew Barzal entering your room almost a little too carelessly. 

“What the hell did you mean my mouth can’t?!” he questions at once, hissing. When he realizes the sudden rise in his voice, (which has also startled you in the process), Mathew immediately looks back just to make sure that Anthony was in his room, or far enough to hear. He shuts the door behind him before he finally turns his attention back to you. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” you ask him, putting both your hands on your hips, your body covered by nothing else but a bathrobe. 

“The thing you said back in the living room, my mouth can’t what? What the hell did that suppose to mean??” Mat roars like a child’s impending tantrum was about to come. You avert his gaze for a moment, scratching your temple. You couldn’t believe something you’ve said stuck to him. Not that he’d ever do anything about it. Something you most absolutely doubt. 

“If you had to come here to ask me that, I’m pretty sure you already got what I meant.” you say, walking towards your bed as you get the bottle of your vanilla scented lotion from your bedside table. 

“But all those times it looked like you were having a good time?” he speaks, voice in a lower register as if he was talking to himself all along. 

“I was faking it Mat.” you finish off applying lotion on your legs, spreading the remaining on your hands. You met Mat’s gaze and saw that you might’ve tipped him off a little for there was a faint hurt in his eyes. 

“You were faking it?” he repeats in a quiet voice.

“You’re still good in bed, buddy.” you assure him with a smile yet to no prevail, Mat didn’t seem to buy any of what you said thinking that it was just a decent effort to save his ego already plummeting to the pit of his own embarrassment. 

“How many times have you been faking it?” he asks the moment he gathers his thoughts, his mind circling on the fact that all throughout this time he wasn’t able to get you off.

“You’ve only had the chance to do it twice. So… just those two.” you answer honestly. 

Mathew, who was utterly clueless to what was going on didn’t know how to react to such bluntness. He tried to mutter a few words but he was speechless. All this time, he thought he was good at something he obviously wasn’t. And being told something as morally immobilizing as that shocks him to his very core. The horror of all the girls he’s slept with, walking out of his apartment unsatisfied befalls on him. 

“You should’ve told me, otherwise this whole setup won’t make any sense, y/n. I thought you said we shouldn’t lie?” he questions, evidently disappointed in himself. 

“Look,” you stop, tapping on the side of the bed to have a proper conversation. When Mat finally sits beside you, you continue, “I didn’t think it mattered. And no offense but we both know you’re such a sore loser. I didn’t know how you would react. And I definitely didn’t want to deal with any of the messy stuff just to feed your ego.”

“For your information, I’m a thick faced motherfucker, you should’ve known that by now. This thing between us is going to be complicated if you’ll tiptoe your way around it just to spare my feelings.” he says with certainty, a definitive tone accentuated by how intense he was now looking at your face, still glowing from your night care routine. 

“Is there something I don’t do?” he adds, “Or is it something that I should stop doing?”

“Fine. If you really wanna talk about this I’ll tell you.” you angle yourself facing him and Mat does the same, “You’re not entirely bad. You do know your way around. It’s just that— you’re trying a little too hard and it gets really overwhelming at times. And mind you, it isn’t even the good kind,”

“Show me.” Mat cuts you before you could grab the chance to continue, stopping you mid sentence, causing you to stumble on a few words. “What?” 

“I won’t leave this room knowing I can’t get you off.” he says, and just like that, Mathew meets your lips with an all too hungry mouth eager to make you come for him even if it takes having to have endless runs at it. 

Your body achingly responds to every bit of Mathew’s kisses whilst you let him run the course. His touches are tantalizing, urging you to come near him. He takes you in his arms, one fondling on your robe to pull it free from your body, the other tugging lightly on your hair just as he begins to move his weight on top of you.

“Tell me what you want.” Mat breathes the moment he breaks away, his mouth now travelling down the skin where your shoulder meets your neck, leaving faint bites, nibbling on it just before he makes his way down to fondle on your breasts. 

You answer him with a muffled moan when he takes your lips yet again. Mat’s irises unwaveringly gazes on your buck nakedness, your scent just enough to take over his senses. You feel the roughness of his hands graze all over your skin. Pinching on one of your buds just before it travels down your thighs, staying out of the place where he knew you needed him most. You feel him in every inch of your skin but there.

But just as you want him more, Mat purposely leaves it out of his hold. You begin to realize how much you must’ve underestimated what this forward could do. His hands were everything and you couldn’t even put into words how much you need him down there. 

“Mat…” you call out his name, groaning. His featherlight touches flowed smoothly on your inner thigh, grazing just your lips but even that was more than enough to tell him how wet you already were for him. 

He begins to leave wet kisses in between your breasts down to your stomach. Kisses that eventually made their way to your thighs as he inched his way to your core, the sloppy noise he makes sounds so beautiful in your ears. You look down on Mat trying to compose yourself under all the breathing he’s subtly passing your middle. 

“What do you want?” Mat asks again, this time his doe eyes meeting yours, clouded with lust and desire. You buck your hips upward in an effort to meet his mouth but Mat was rather quick to put you back in your place when he cages your hips with his capable arm. 

“Use your words, y/n.” he orders, one that has effortlessly made you oblige. You wanted to feel him more than anything else and if that meant submitting to Mat this time, you know full well you’d gladly break before him. 

“I want you to get me off.” you surrender, signaling him to take the plunge. Once he did, you let out a whimper at his touch, almost forgetting that Mathew was probably doing this so he could eat out his future girl right.

“Don’t rush.” you breathed as you guided him, “Stay slow and steady.” 

Mathew’s eyes never left yours even when you had to look away when you let your head fall back on your sheets with how well he was moving with everything you say. 

“Mathew…” you moan, reaching for his hair to take him closer to your throbbing core, “Go on circles, please.” 

Mat was obedient and followed your every command. Unlike the times he’s spent trying to pleasure you with his mouth, tonight was a time where he actually listened and gave you exactly what you wanted, exactly how you want it.

Mat didn’t have to do anything else for when he started to slip into your cunt and fuck you with his tongue, you going insane was more than enough to let him know that he was doing it right. He watched you fall before him, your chest heaving, your breathing rapid as if there wasn’t enough air for you to breathe. He entwines both his fingers atop your abdomen, the sound of you calling his name like a prayer doing all kinds of wonders on his end. 

You meet his eyes yet again just to see that it never left. Mat looked at you darker than ever before and for once, you feel a firm tug in your stomach you just weren’t ready to acknowledge and care for. As he takes time with his final strokes, knowing that you were close, Mat pulls away, thinking about the one thing he knows will redeem himself. 

“Turn around.” he orders with a grim voice. You were in dire need of an orgasm to even care about how he’s the one ordering you. You gladly oblige to his every whim and turned to your belly, your ass perked up so perfectly for him.

He lets your robe fall just above your back, revealing more of your skin for him to enjoy. He takes no second to waste and kneels before your already swollen pussy. Needy and very much heated for him.

Mat’s hands spread your cheeks before he takes you in his mouth once again, letting himself drown in your juices glinting under his all too heavy gaze. 

“Oh, god.” you whine, feeling Mat’s grin behind you as you dig into your sheets while your legs begin to shake at your incoming orgasm. “Mat, please.” you call out in a whimper, pushing your ass back further his face. 

Mat gladly takes the challenge but maintains at the pace you wanted. As he feels your pussy flutter in his mouth, he deepens it into yours to finally pour you with nothing else but ecstasy and ecstasy alone.

His face was filled with nothing but your juices once he pulled away, leaving you breathless and still caught up on meeting your high. He stands, a hand gripping on one of your cheeks whilst he admires the art that is: your all too spent pussy.

“Next time you lie, you won’t get to fake it at all.” he warns with a firm yet definitive voice masked as a taunting remark. 

Mat looks at your still throbbing pussy, eyes lustful and dark. As much as he craved for the inkling fire resting in his loins, it was already past midnight and he had self-discipline stronger than anyone else’s. He couldn’t afford any more scolding from Anders the next morning. 

So, even when he wanted nothing but to fuck you right then and there, he lets his hand send a message he certainly wants you to remember instead. One that has left a faint yet stinging mark on your skin. Your legs were practically still wobbling when he finally leaves for the door, this time fueled with the purpose of being the one leaving you dumbfounded in your own post-orgasm shame.

Perhaps, even wanting and more.

[quitethepirategal]

An Analysis in Threes

❥ TAGGED BY: @emcads​ like 30 years ago ❥ TAGGING: @riidcr​ @starsailingcaptain​ @covencrown​ @hookd​ @all-fleshed-out​ @evermxre​ @motherofredemption​ @bup1957​ @conquistadoradelmar​ @seaprofound​ @tcthinecwnself​ @withinycu​ @windguided​ @daevilhorns​ @concordia-cum-sinistro​ and YOU and I spent like 8 hours on this so pLEASE READ IT PLEASE I AM BEGGING I NEED VALIDATION I’M-

     repost don’t reblog. yall dont have to type this much.

MUSE: Captain Red Handed Jessica

Three Strengths:

     Her adaptability and resourcefulness.  Is she brave, yes.  Is she lucky, also yes.   But over all, she can roll with the cards she’s been dealt in a way that many would call inhumanly clever.  Her intelligence, her perception, and her charisma are all different ingredients of this indomitable characteristic of hers.  She can see the value in just about anything and anyone, can pick up on clues and tangents few others can follow, and can remember seemingly endless details, tho unfortunately not on command.  But even then, her patchy memory seems to contribute to this adaptability as well, as it usually allows for detachment.  If she can find resources everywhere, it means she can survive everywhere. There have been countless times where the wheel of fortune has suddenly turned on her and she’d lost near everything and her response was more or less Damn, ok I need food water and shelter lets go.  No food?  Grow food.  No water?  Ask someone if they have water.  No shelter?  Sleep outside.  No money?  Steal money.  Can’t hear anymore?  Cool I can use loud weapons.  Crashed on an island?  My island now.  Shot?  Free bullet.  She knows when to push, she knows when to quit, and sometimes she knows when to gamble based on her ability ( what a man can do and what he can’t do and all that ).  Strong she may be, she knows its foolish to rely on strength.  Survival of the fittest actually rarely means survival of the strongest. ( edit; this is the theme for the entirety of her character. I will say it 50,000 times. I am very sorry ).  And as a student of philosophy and biology, she understands that phrase better than most. Leading to our next point.

     Her understanding.  As I stated, her charisma is something unmatched, and is a key element in all three of her strengths.  This charisma might not exist as prominently were it not for her ability to understand.  She has limited ( I’ll get back to that ) but deep running empathy and while not terribly observant all the time, she is always perceptive.  Not only that, but she’s personally known abuse, hardship, and uncertainty, and understands that hate or anger can be rooted in similar pain.  She was schooled lightly in both Christian and Buddhist values before diving heavily into democratic philosophy, meaning she believes all being experience suffering and therefore kindness is a powerful sign of strength, but also that suffering while free and equal is better than comfort in oppression.  And between her sweet words and beautiful face, she can get most people to open up in ways they themselves my not have expected.  Being very good with people means she can learn from them, gain something from them, lead them, and/or use them.  But Jessica isn’t a manipulator in truth; her intentions are almost always kind or healthy ones.  She absolutely uses people from time to time but not EVER without them consenting to or being made aware of such because again, unlike a manipulative person, she understands that can ruin a relationship and therefore ruin a resource.  What it makes for is an excellent leader, a beloved captain, and a trusted ally at most and an excellent conversationalist at the least.      But her understanding isn’t just social, oh no.  It’s academic as well.  Armed only with his little library and the lessons of his own teachers, Jessica’s foster father tirelessly smithed her into a not just a girl who knew a lot of things, but a truly intelligent, thinking mind. He’d die before learning he’d succeeded tenfold.  Jessica isn’t one to just except things as they are, facts or otherwise.  She usually needs to prove it, experiment, see things from a new angle.  Debates with her are fun!  She has no issue admitting she’s wrong or confessing she’s never thought of it that way, and is actually wrong a lot of the time.  It doesn’t bruise her ego, it excites her.  It means there’s more to learn.  And her ability to constantly understand new concepts paired with her ability to overwhelmingly understand people combine to make for a very powerful core idea of hers:  We are fittest to survive because we all fit together.  Our humanity, our empathy, our community are our strengths because they keep us united, which keeps us the fittest.  No one is independent, no man is an island.  People are power. And thus her final strength is just that.

     Her power.  While she and I still firmly state that strength isn’t everything don’t be disillusioned; its very goddamn important.  And it’s something Jessica has plenty of.  She is durable and clever because of her rocky early childhood, she is quick and versatile from her youth in a pirate port, she is physically strong and mighty from her years training in martial arts, and she’s an absolute crackshot after years of diligent practice with her trusty pistols.  Her true strength may lie in her brains and in her allies yes, but even without them, Red Jessica is a powerhouse of a warrior.  She can end fights extremely quickly or run from them without a prayer of catching her ( no shame in the later, both skills keep you alive ).  And it may be in bad taste to say, but ever since loosing most of her hearing, Jess swears up and down it’s made her vision better, her reaction time faster, and her quick thinking even quicker.  Yes of course she’s slowed down with age, but a bullet shoots at the same speed no matter how old you are.  And you best hope she didn’t bring her firecrackers, because while sudden loud noises will absolutely temporarily discombobulate or debilitate an opponent with healthy hearing, it’ll hardly effect her at all and suddenly, you’re a sitting duck.  You see those thighs?  You see those calves?  She can crush PINEAPPLES with them!  People have seen her do it!  Do you know how many micro-fractures broke and rebuilt those hands?  Thousands!  She can crush a trachea like a fucking beer can!  She can kick you to death!  One ill placed curb stomp and you are DECEASED.  Sometimes she’ll just psyche you out because she KNOWS you know she can kill your stupid ass!       But while her strength, mental and physical, have always been there, her power is relatively new.  As stated before, people are power.  Not knowledge, not money, not strength.  People.  She’s a fearsome warrior but she’d be useless if outnumbered.  Shes a very successful pirate, but she’d never make it out of port without a crew on her ship.  She found a gorgeous island, but it’d still be wild without those who built it’s piers and buildings.  She manages orchards and tends to them and harvests them herself, but she would loose all of her crop without the helping hands of her employed farmers.  And like I mentioned, she deeply understands this.  Freedom is not independence or vice versa.  Did you make the clothes on your back or the fabric that made those clothes?  Did you write the books you read to make you smarter or teach you that skill?  Did you plant the seed years ago that grew that orange you’re eating?  No, of course not.  Jessica didn’t either.  Another human did.  We all need each other to fill the holes in our lives that we can’t fill ourselves.  Humans are puzzle pieces in that way, there is no bigger picture or prayer for survival on our own.  And because of this, we can do anything we as a community, as a SPECIES work together to achieve.  There is no knowledge if there’s no one to learn from, there is no money if a society don’t give it value, your money is worthless if those you’re paying decide to rise against you, your role as leader only exists at the consent of those you lead, and your strength won’t save you from a sinking ship.  People are, and always will be, power.       And as someone who is exceptionally strong and exceedingly smart, Jessica has slotted herself in the humanity puzzle thusly: The strong exist to protect the weak, the smart exist to educate, and the lucky exist so the unlucky may be given aid.  And it is with this fairness and compassion that she has won the trust of so many.  She has a great many friends and allies even outside of those in her crew or on her island.  And she can make many more with ease.  That kind of power is not a power to be trifled with, even if she can kick your ass six ways to Saturday without it. 

Three Weaknesses:

     She suffers ADHD.  Now before ANY OF Y’ALL SAY ANYTHING, I myself also suffer ADHD.  And yes I do say suffer because well that’s what it causes for Jessica and I, suffering.  Yes, it is ableist language to say ‘suffering from’ rather than ‘has’ or ‘is diagnosed with’ and yes it perpetuates a stigma against us but god DAMN IT in both Jessica’s case and mine, it make life much much harder than it needs to be.  At the end of the day, Red Jessica is a fantasy of mine; I pour myself into her whether I mean to or not.  She’s the adult I wish I was, the person I might be if I had no anxiety, or brainfog, or lived in a world were I didn’t need a credit score or a degree. And even then, I can’t say I know anyone else’s problems better than my own.  So if my character has problems, by sheer osmosis they are going to reflect some of mine.  Both of the characters I write have ADHD because I have ADHD and I couldn’t even begin to know how a non-ADHD mind works to write it properly.  And no, I’m not being dramatic when I say it causes me suffering.  I can’t drive, I can’t hold down a job, I nearly flunked out of school, I still cant read very fast or spell very well, I am constantly overwhelmed by mundane things, I’m a slow learner, I forget very important things or recent things, I forget about things that mean the world to me, I forget about people, I stumble through tasks, I procrastinate hobbies and basic hygiene, and everything I do takes all goddamn day and I can only really do one important thing at a time and in order of importance.  If I have a date at 4pm, I’m dressed and ready at 11am because I’ve gotta do the important thing first or else I will forget to do the important thing.  I started typing this at a little before 5pm.  It’s 7;30.  It’ll probably be 10 o’clock at night by the time I fucking finish ( edit: l m a o its 1am bitch you thought ).  I’m 26 and am just medicated enough to barely function.  So yeah.  Suffering is the word.       Though for Jessica, perhaps suffering is a tad strong of a word.  Her ADHD affects her ability to function in far less debilitating ways ( though whether that’s a result of a less severe diagnosis than me or the result of the society, situations, and responsibilities she functions in and around are far different from mine, who’s to say ).  For her, she has very consuming hyperfixations that can last anywhere between weeks to decades, a spotty memory that is detail and memento oriented,  she’s scatterbrained more often then not but can focus with amazing clarity on her interests or in high adrenaline situations, is is ABYSMALLY bad at math and EXCRUCIATINGLY bad with numbers ( as opposed to me, who is good at numbers but shit at spelling or reading ), she can forget anything no matter how important it is to her or to anyone, she’s bad with names and dates, is COMPLETELY time-blind, has trouble prioritizing, and of course, wile not actually that materialistic, she absolutely has the ol’ magpie instinct.       While her poor memory assists in her adaptability and ability to move on, it also means she forgets things she needed to remember, like when the last time she bathed was and who this person is and what happened between her and someone else or what conversation’s shes had.  Unfortunately this means she’s a very good friend and leader... while you’re around and interacting with her on at least a weekly basis.  It’s almost a lack of object permanence in both a social and very real sense.  If something is not right in front of her, odds are she’s not going to think about it.  And while its something she constantly kicks herself for and actively tries to be better about, it applies to people too.  Face to face is the best way to interact with her; she won’t think to write you and in her modern verse she won’t think to ever call and she’ll text you back in perhaps a few days.  She doesn’t value you any less, I promise.  She’s just either distracted or overwhelmed.  Also, for someone as understanding as her, she is surprisingly self-centered.  Not selfish, self-centered.  She’ll talk about herself more than she should, and will assume people understand that she’s doing so as a form of showing empathy rather than bragging when they may not know this at all.  Actually she accidentally assumes all the time.  It was far worse when her hearing was functional; she’d finish your sentence for you or guess what it was you were going to say ( again, not to talk over, you but to show she understands you and the conversation, tho it usually came of as annoying or patronizing ).  Sometimes she mistakenly assumes you believe or know the same things she does without even realizing it.  Maybe she perceives the right idea off of someone but isn’t observant enough to notice anything past that.  And while she is willing to change her mind about things, she might change her mind a tad too quickly.  She’s an over-sharer and is horrible at keeping any kind of secret.  Romantic relationships tend to fizzle out. Her impulse control is improving but has a VERY long way to go. She’s always chasing something new.       All and all, when you’re a pirate, a librarian, or even a captain, all of these things may be irritating and inconvenient, but are overall manageable in chunks.  ...But as a governor to her island, as a leader of an entire population... oof. In the position of leadership that she’s in, she can’t afford to make too many massive mistakes, and she knows this.  ‘There is no power quite like the power of being underestimated’ is a phase you’ll hear her say a lot but for her, there is a shift in connotation.  If people expect less and you do more that’s a great upper hand in any situation but for her, it was a safety net.  Having ADHD sometimes means going months or years being fine and then eventually you fuck up and everyone around you wonders how in the world you managed to do that.  She has only barely avoided disaster more times than she’d like to admit.  Even with the resourcefulness, the understanding, and the power she wields, she’s finally starting to realize that she’s bit off more than she might be able to chew, with the entire well-beings and livelihoods of others on the line.  And she fears that one day she’ll play her cards wrong and everything she’d built, everything she’s done, will all come crashing down in ruin.

     She is Hard of Hearing.  This one is literally as simple as it sounds: she has moderate and degenerative hearing loss and tinnitus after years of canons, explosions, gunshots, and a definitive, scale tipping attack in her early 30s.  Her ears just don’t work at all like they used to.  The whole world sounds like it would if everything was underwater: she can’t pin point the location of sounds, how far off or close sounds are, and barely registers changes in volume. And it only gets worse the older she gets; one day she won’t hear anything at all.  And while yes, again, it might be very harsh and ableist to say, the truth of the matter that being deaf a “ weakness ” more often than its a strength.       That said, it very well can be a strength.  I’ve already mentioned that trick with the firecrackers and let me tell you it is a DAMN EFFECTIVE TRICK.  Shes around explosions and canons and guns all the time and now she can focus while being around them five times better than she could in the past!  But unfortunately it also means she’s very easy to sneak up on, she sometimes isn’t aware of danger until it’s nearly too late,  no one can get her attention or warn her across any distance, it’s very easy to escape from her, and it’s easy for her to be just... left out of things.  She might hear you talking, but she has little to no idea what you’re saying without sign or lipreading.  Some people don’t have the patience or even just the courtesy to speak slower, or clearer, or repeat themselves a lot.  Though, those last too thinks aren’t weaknesses of hers so much as they are the weakness of others, but they still negatively affect her self esteem and her effectiveness as a leader.       All of this has taught her to pick her battles carefully, and plan around the elements of surprise and discombobulation.  And while communication was tricky at first, it only got easier, and now she can talk to you almost like anyone can, so long as she’s looking you in the face. 

     That damn bleeding heart.  We have established a number of things that should easily add up to an overly empathetic, trusting, fight-the-good-fight, martyr-some, idealistic pushover;  she believes humanity and kindness are strengths, she has taken on the role of leader and then a provider, she has known suffering and tasked herself with ending the suffering of others to the best of her ability,  she lacks the clarity of mind to assume people aren’t just as good or capable as her automatically, she can have poor impulse control at times,  she wants to have relationships, and ( while I never stated this outright yet it can be inferred  ), she believes that being able to see yourself in others is the foundation of humanity and ( as i did say outright ) humanity is what keeps us unified and unity is what makes us fit and strong.  Keeping up?  Good. Here’s the curve ball: How can she whole hardheartedly preach and believe all of this, to the point of it being the foundation of her character, WHILE BEING A VIOLENT THIEVING AND BLOODTHIRSTY PIRATE?!  HOW, MANGO? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!  Ok, fine, sure, I will. I’m sure about one half of you are looking up from the screen and going “ Oh yeah, wow I totally forgot that bit. “ and the other half got about two and a half paragraphs in before squinting and silently calling bullshit. So let me explain.      In short, she’s a detached hypocrite and is well aware and unashamed of her hypocrisy while far less aware of her detachment. I’ll cover both:  Western culture as a whole seems to be under the impression that hypocrisy, despite context or importance, is automatically bad.  I don’t know where this comes from personally ( my bet is Christianity but I have exactly 0 evidence ) but its a very... flawed idea.  Take the freedom of speech vs racism problem; say you owned a bar where all could speak their mind freely over cold drinks.  Excellent concept without context, right?  Sure. ....Then a die hard racist covered in slurs and symbols walks in and orders- what are you going to do?  The correct answer is to throw him out instantly.  Not let him sit so long as he doesn’t cause trouble, not just ignore him and hope he doesn’t return, you throw him out.  Is it hypocritical?  Yep!  Sure is!  But it is also 100% necessary to protect your other patrons because if you don’t, the racist starts feeling safe and bringing his racist buddies, literally everyone else starts feeling unsafe and starts to hang out elsewhere, and two months later, ta da!  You now own a n*zi bar and there is literally nothing you can do about it. Jessica is in a somewhat similar situation.  You as a pretend bar owner need to make a decision as who to let into your bar and who to throw out for the good of all of your patrons.  Jessica too is faced daily with that decision.  If she want’s to help as many people as possible, the only realistic way she can do that are by protecting those under her leadership... only.  She is surrounded by hateful, angry, sneaky, traitorous, abusive, or otherwise evil people.  Piracy as a profession and poverty in general can do that to a person.  Of course there is a clear difference between those down on their luck and desperate, and the truly cruel and twisted, but unfortunately both types of people yield the same wrongdoings.  It’s absolutely her nature to extend a hand to anyone and everyone but.... she just can’t anymore.  Too many times has her trust been betrayed, too many times has she gotten in peoples business trying to be helpful, only for her to absolutely bite her in the ass.  Too many time the extended hand is bitten and once or twice, she’s actually made things worse.       Now, she will only help someone she loves, someone under her leadership, or someone who seeks her out.  That’s it.  And even then, sometime it manages to bite er in the ass.  But she had to set that hard limit for herself out of necessity, one she does her absolute best to adhere too and... these days she adheres a little too well. That leads us to our next point; what I was alluding to at the beginning of her Understanding essay when I said she has limited but deep running empathy.  That detachment again, courtesy of a very unattached mother and unchecked ADHD. ( It isn’t a strong enough characteristic to even rank as a strength or a weakness but damn if it isn’t an undercurrent to a lot of her motivations and experiences. ) Strangers are fair game that she tries to ignore, but if she even perceives you as a threat, you could be in danger. Like anyone used to violence or perhaps anyone trapped in an us verses them mindset, she can just... flat... turn her empathy off.  Not on command, she’s not a socio or psychopath persay.  But she has become totally numb to the horror of violence via her warrior upbringing that, in her mind, violence can actually be rather fun. Pair that with the fact that she purposely tailored herself to only be empathetic to her allies and boom.  You get a kindhearted killer.  Cops and soldiers in our world do it literally every day.  Actually anyone can do it really, even you if you tried. You don’t have to be evil or even angry to kill or steal or lie... you just have to believe you’re right.

Three Secrets:

     WHAT SECRETS?!  LMAO this bitch is the oversharing queen!! I’ve been typing and pondering her character for literal hours ( its currently 11:16, fuck you adderall ), and I still can not think of a single goddamn secret.  There is nothing about her that at least five random people don’t fucking know about!! The only secrets she has are secrets she knows about other people and even then she is!! literally the worst!! She spills her guts left and right and yet she wants to be a mysterious bitch SO BAD like BABE I love you, you’re precious, but you are a dumbass attention seeking validation chasing adhd CLOWN girl!! Stop telling random people about your hermaphroditism or your dairy allergy or your dead dad or that time you fell asleep in a barrel like that is literally your uber driver Jessica honey come ooooon. I’m skipping this section mom holy fuck.

Three Fears:

     What if she does wrong by everyone who trusts her?  As stated at the end of the ADHD essay, she’s terrified of failing those she leads.  Where it as simple as personal failure, she’d be fine.  Ever if her entire world came crashing down on top of her she’d either die or start back from square one.  Death is a fact of life and her adaptability means she can just dust herself off and move on, so neither her death nor her failures really scare her... But it isn’t just her life and happiness at stake, is it? Not anymore, right?  What started as a leader of a small gang of rebels became a full crew, then a crew became a slew of allies, then those allies built a town and now... now she’s the governor of the Crimson Isle and there are nearly twenty five HUNDRED lives at her mercy.   HER mercy.  One really, really bad mistake could ruin their livelihoods or spark disorder and disloyalty.  And if she died?  Would whoever it is that will take her place be as good to them as she is?  Is she good enough to begin with in the first place? Every day the paperwork gets a little bit thicker, every year there’s a new baby or two.  And the isle has fertile soil sure but will it last?  Are they prepared for a raid or a hurricane?  And if Jessica trusts the wrong people, where her people right to trust her?  ...can I protect them? Can I protect them?! CAN I PROTECT THEM?!

     Who am I if I’m not interesting?  This is, literally, an entirely subconscious fear.  She’s not at all aware it exists and therefor this entry is short. But between her short time with her very unimpressed mother, her own ADHD, she is constantly hungry for attention without even realizing it.  She must be interesting and intriguing and engaging, and I did mention she wants to also be mysterious.  She wants not so much your input or even your validation - but rather if shes not perceived then.... is she really there? Remember, she is unaware of any of this.  And fortunately she’d never been starved for attention to act out over it in the first place, even when her disinterested mother was alive. Look at her; she’s radiant, she’s beautiful, and she’s 6′4 / 195 cm shredded and covered in cool scars. Without even opening her mouth, without even her colorful clothes, she’s kind of automatically interesting.  So she’s never been so desperate for attention that she acts out because she’s never been without it for very long.  But it’s there. Hungry, aching, silent.  Those years after the M branding were horrible and she could never really explain why.  She still throws parties, organizes festivals, and talks to damn near anyone who will listen.  Look at my art!  Look at my library! Listen to how much I know! Let me tell you how lovely you are! Look at my scares! Look at my hair! Look at me haha, please, please look at me. 

     GHOSTS. NOPE. No. NO. Fuck ALL of that noise. Stay dead, go to hell, eat a dick.  Red Jessica is a scientist and superstitious atheist. As an academic and somewhat bi-cultural woman she simply thinks there are far too many religions with far too much history for any of them to be considered The One True Thing You Must Believe Or ElseTM and she tends to not truly believe anything until she finds some kind of proof.  Shes not afraid of the unknown, shes thrilled by it. She’s not afraid of death or the afterlife, that’s beyond her control. She’s only superstitious because she does believe in and value luck, and also its a bit of a cultural habit. BUT IF SOME SHIT STARTS MOVING ON ITS OWN OR IF SHE SEES SOME BULLSHIT IN THE CORNER OF HER EYE THEN SHE IS OUT OF THERE. OUTIE 5000. She has heard the tales of lost souls from purgatory or the eternally ravenous Pret or dangerous Phi Tai Hong or the tragic and startling Banshees or the creepy Santa Compana and she wouldn’t believe a word of it where it not for one thing.      SHE FUCKING SAW ONE. She’ll never forget it, it was the first and last time she EVER attempted to plunder a tomb all Skyrim style and at first she thought it was one of the crewmean being creepy as shit until she got a good look and he was SEE THROUGH AS SHIT AND SKINNY AS FCUK AND SHE GOT LITERALLY CHASED THE FUCK OUT OF THAT JOINT. She does not CARE that some ghosts are just apparitions she does not CARE that some are friendly and trying to warn her of something if you are MOVING and DEAD at the SAME time get FUCKED. If any of y’all cringe try-hards bring a Ouija board to the party you are getting SENT HOME and BLOCKED. NO CAP.

Three Goals:

   She really only has one left. Listen its... almost 1am and ive been typing since like 5pm i think i covered goals somewhere in here but ive gotta throw in the towel but even then I’m kinda being serious.  Her only remaining goal is to find a suitable heir of some kind.  She wants what she’s built to fall into worthey hands but she could never seem to find a good parter and even when she did she couldn’t sustain a pregnancy ( you’d think that would be a huge deal but it hardly mattered to her oddly ).  So at 50 the option of having kids is out but there’s still plenty of hope for either adoption or a protege.  But then again, she’s so busy these days that she hardly prioritizes it like she wants to.  

                                                                               holy shit i need some water...

[george-fabian-weasley]

whoopsie i sent these out of order oops but congrats on 600! for your event can I please get 👁️👄👁️ for my newest George fic little more time please? Thank you and congrats again!!

OMGG HALEY HIII YES OF COURSE AND THANK YOU SO SO MUCH YOU'RE SO SWEET 🥺🥺

Little Bit More Time by @wand3ringr0s3

Summary: none

There's no summary but I don't mind because there's the Hanahaki!AU sign so I at least have a clue on what I'm diving into! Thank goodness i haven't read this one yet, I was tempted a few days ago HDKJSJDJ i saw the hanahaki and i was like oKAY this is interesting HJDHSHD

It was a subtle change in the way you saw George. Having been best friends with Fred and George for so long you really couldn’t pinpoint when your feelings changed. Truthfully maybe you’ve always seen George differently. 

I like this paragraph; because you truly can't pinpoint when you started liking someone, if we were to view it realistically. Maybe you can, maybe you can't, the universe is a huge mystery.

But you got to see the quiet side of them too. The way they act at home when the fire is barely holding onto its flame and everyone is asleep. How sweet they can be when they see someone is in pain. The insecurities that tend to run deep below their mind. The ones that push them further into their own creations.

Oh damn i love this paragraph so much, idk why it's just so raw and genuine to me and it really just show the other side of the twins when they're with themselves hdjjsjjd i love this

The petals stopped that dream.

oh boy... t-this is going to be painful..... sigh *straps on seatbelt and helmet* here we go

“Oh my god.” Fred quickly leans down to wipe your chin, his face full of pure shock.

oh shit this could be traumatizing for them wHERE IS THIS LEADING IM SO WORRIED BUT SO INTRIGUED

You wanted George to realize those things. He was being his sweet self, how could he know just how much he was hurting you? George was a selfless person. He loves his family and his friends and he’d do anything for them. For you.

IM ALREADY CRYING WHAT IS THIS SORCERY

It was truly cruel. Fred wants more time with you. George does too but Fred feels cheated. If he had more time with you. More time to be by your side and tell funny jokes. He could understand the weird feeling in his stomach when he sees you. He could understand why he felt more nervous around you. He could understand why he loves your laugh so much. But he doesn’t have that time. It’s been stolen from him.

HFISJFIDKD NO WAY NO NO NO YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME DOES HE— NO

“Don’t do this princess.” Fred pleads.

I- wow. You really took that route huh wOW WAY TO GO THERE'S MY HEART BEING THROWN AWAY LIKE A THROW STONE AHAHA LOOK AT EM GO 🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️

“Did I get hit in the with a bludger or something? My head is killing me.” George just laughs and pushes him out of the chair.

I had to take a minute just to stare at the wall at this. One question, wHYYYYY hxisjfikd haley you knew this was gon happen ur eVIL FOR THIS

Maybe today, on this bench eating this ice cream. Time will move a bit slower.

Yknow if Hanahaki was real I would've died a long time ago :D And if I didn't, I still would've because the next 2 boys weren't exactly ideal as well JDHSJJDJD seventeen and never had a boyfriend, i could only pray to god to give me a university with lots of eligible and not trash guys sIGH

Overall: As a fellow angst writer, now I know how my readers feel and wow that's not fun at all :D

(not that i will stop writing angst cOUGH)

Literally there's nothing I could comment on except for that bloody brilliant story, I felt like I was watching a movie with an amazing cinematography because your words really helped it grow by time; the emotions i mean. You can feel their feelings and emotions being so raw and genuine, but at the same time it's not lengthy and wow- you're so amazing at this I don't even know why you want ME to review YOUR fic.

10/10 for the angst, 10/10 for the beautiful storytelling, 10/10 would definitely recommend to my mom to see if she cries or not (i'll let yall updated on that ;)) just rEAD IT i swear it has this beautiful sadness vibe around it and i love it so much 🥺 Haley bby you have done such an amazing piece, I'm so happy for youuu <333

JOIN MY SLEEPOVER!

[kidney9-9]

Playing marco polo with Peter Parker

Hope you guys enjoy a small little drabble of dumb Peter Parker x dumb Reader and sort of pissed Tony Stark. I had fun writing this haha no warnings 

yall are having a lot of fun and decide around 2AM to play marco polo

so basically everyone is asleep at the compound

you and peter are too hyped to calm down

the lights are turned off at the indoor swimming pool

you guys don’t realize how much of a bad idea this is AT ALL

earlier that day tony stark somehow added in simulations INSIDE THE POOL and basically its terrifying

you and peter get in the pool and you whisper out a small “marco”

peter being obnoxious screams “POLO” and sets off the trigger to start the simulation

you see a light under you and you dive under to check what it is

ITS A SHARK

OF COURSE 

and you are FREAKED OUT

you’re screaming for help at peter 

peter thinks you’re joking and finds you pretty quick 

he finally opens his eyes

AND FREAKS OUT

so now both of you are screaming at the TOP of your lungs 

friday alarms tony that both of you are distressed and in danger

tony is now FREAKING OUT

why are you guys in danger? what is happening?? 

tony gets up as fast as possible, suit already on, and he BREAKS THROUGH THE DOORS

and he sees this scene:

peter and you kicking at each other in the middle of the pool, screaming for help

“I DON’T WANNA DIE FROM SHARKNADO!” 

“THIS ISN’T SHARKNADO! THIS IS JAWS!” 

tony is tired as ever, but sooooo amused, and turns off the simulation, and turns the lights on

“huhhh??” 

both you and peter are blinded by the light and the loud laughter

you and peter both realize how stupid you guys were and swim out

tony scolds both of you sooo much 

you and peter walk back to the common room, soaking wet

and for a second you both look at each other and say “we’re dumbasses” 

[lizzienaut]

All 31 tword questions! 😊

ALRIGHTY THEN BUCKLE UP GAMERS LETS DO THIS

this is gonna be super duper frickin long so im gonna put it under a read more as per usual i hope it works ahhh-

thank you for the ask anon!! <33

1. do you personally identify as a lee, ler or switch? what about tickling makes you feel one or the other?

switch all the way baybeyyyyy!!! not even leaning one way or another, just straight-up pure switch energy exudes from my pores something about the power exchange really gets me giddy man having a lee all helpless beneath you and all adorably giggly and blushy and whiny makes me just 💕💖❤💗💘💝💓💞 and in return being the one who gets teased and chased and pinned down and absolutely wrecked is just!! ahhhHHHhhh

2. have you ever been tickled irl? was it by accident or on purpose?

oh dude bro i used to be tickled all the time by people specifically one of my irl friends who i told about this thing last year this mans straight up pinned me down and tickled me for six hours straight while we watched youtube when i spent the night at his place it wasn't like!! super rough or anything- very light and playful most of the time, but occasionally it got intense and i  fucking died dude i was so happy now i don't really wanna be tickled by anyone other than iven though ahaaaaa- i mean i've been like that for a while but pshHhHh

3. would you prefer punishment or reward tickles?

yes

4. what kind of teasing gets to you most/what kind of teasing is your favorite to dish out?

i LOVE verbal teases so much sosososo much omg “tickle tickle tickle” or “kitchy kitchy coo” or “im gonna tickle you!” all of it makes me melt and die literally just saying tickle repeatedly makes me all squeaky and squirmy and lee in an instant frickin i cant take what i dish out bro ;v;

5. what does it take to make you flustered about tickling?

everything how helpless being tickled makes me feel and how EMBARRASSING it is that i like it so much more than any other people normally do dkfjgnkdfj

6. are you easily able to admit you like it?

when im ler?? absolutely i fuckin love tickling when im lee is a different story

7. have you ever told someone outside of this community about tickling?

yes!! quite a few people actually- most of them arent even my friends anymore BUT one of my current friends knows about it and yeah!

8. what’s your favorite thing about being tickled/tickling someone?

power exchange the cute giggles the blushy face the feeling of helplessness  etc

9. what’s your laugh like?

ive been told that its very childish and bubbly and loud, but it can rlly easily become cackly and witchy sounding and embarrassing dfkjgkdfj i SNORT A LOT MUCH TO MY DISMAY

10. favorite spot to be tickled/to tickle?

all of them

11. lees, would you prefer to be tied up or free in a session? lers, would you prefer a lee tied up or free in a session?

in a session? tied up!! but just for fun id say free <33

12. if you could be tickled by/tickle anyone (real or a fictional character!) who would you chose?

iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iven iv

13. wake up or before bed tickles?

yes

14. do you like being teased? do you like dishing out teasing?

YES

15. who’s someone in this community that you would love to meet or get to know better?

id love to get to know so many people better!! literally all of my mutuals omfg @ all my mutuals pls message me id love to be friends w yall <33

16. do you have any uncommon spots/have you ever discovered any on someone else? where was it?

my palms are SO ticklish its not even funny wtf ive never been full on tickled there but every time someone tries to write things on my palms or run their nails down them i just. squeak as loud as humanly possible jkdfgkdf

17. do you remember how old you were when you first realized you liked tickling?

i think!! i was 8 or so- lil liz discovered tickle videos back then and didn't know what incognito was either

18. how comfortable are you with talking about tickling? why do you feel that way?

irl? no too embarrassing fjdgnfk online? yes please lets talk abt tickles its so FUN

19. what’s your personal worst spot? what’s your favorite “death spot” you’d wreck someone with?

mine are my feet, underarms and neck!! fav to wreck are probably feet dkjfgkdjf

20. are there any spots you personally find underrated? where are they?

NECK for personal reasons >w>

21. what’s one of your personal favorite tickle scenarios?

scary movies and a visit from the tickle monster

22. soft cuddly tickles or rough more intense tickles?

yes

23. are there any tickle scenes you’ve seen that have stuck with you? what were they from?

THE MIRACULOUS LADYBUG ONES CAUSE ALL OF THEM WERE SUPER CUTE AHHH

24. upper or lower body tickles?

yes

25. is there’s a specific position you’d like to be tickled in/tickle someone in? why that position in particular?

tied in an x position on the bed 👀👀👀 because EASY ACCESS TO ALL SPOTS YO

26. do you have any “unpopular opinions” about tickling that you’d like to share?

tickling isn't inherently a kink or sexual :)

27. lees, do you enjoy being tickled on your worst spot(s)? lers, how do you go about tickling a lees worst spot(s)?

YES tease them with gentle touches, then dive in when they least expect it B)

28. is it difficult for you to be put in a lee/ler/switch mood? what can make you feel that way?

absolutely not iven can easily put me in either moods just by being cute or even slightly teasy ;w;

29. do you ever have tickle dreams? do you remember any that you’ve had if so?

yes i have tickle dreams quite often actually!! he last one that ive had kinda really stuck with me-- iven and i were on separate islands and id often sneak onto his to steal his supplies and one day he set up a trap and tied me up with vines n shit and just. absolutely wrecked me maN i snuck onto it quite a few more times after that pff

30. are you a fan of the idea of tools? which ones would you be up to trying if you are?

YES YES YES ALL OF THEM ALL ALL ALL good SHIT DUDE

31. AND FINALLY. do you believe in the tickle monster? what do you think they look like/appear as?

me.

i am the tickle monster

[skiesofthesketchy]

Blurred Lines

Stiles Stilinski x reader

Word count: 3,247

Warnings: alcohol, language, mentions of sex, flirty flirtyyyyyy

Summary: The reader gets a little too drunk and can’t help herself  >:)

A.n.: Hey its me! I might have been a lil drunk while writing this lol. Yall still like teen wolf fanfic right? GOOD then you’re in the right place. Please lmk what you think I love feedback. enjoy! :)

This has been edited so that I like it better lol

The loud bass from the speakers in the colorful room sent vibrations through your body. Your vision was blurry due to your alcohol consumption that night, but you blamed it on the moving lights which were swirling around the room to the rhythm of the music, though they didn’t really help your drunken state either. Your eyes roamed the crowded room looking for one of your friends, perhaps one friend in particular that you could latch onto to steady your balance and ease your whirling thoughts. 

Deciding to sway over to the kitchen to look for your friends there, some guy slammed right into you, spilling his sticky alcoholic drink down the front of your shirt. You stood there stunned, feeling the cold drink sinking into your top and down your arms. The dude just shouted an, “Oh shit!” laughing with two of his friends that stood next to him, all of them obviously even more drunk than you. 

Groaning in annoyance, you started towards the stairs, hoping to find an unoccupied bathroom upstairs. Focusing on the taunting staircase ahead of you, you climbed the first few steps without a problem. The next one, however, had you stumbling backwards and reaching for the handrail before you could even register that you had misstepped. You yelped as you were fully expecting to tumble down the stairs unable to catch yourself, but a hard chest and strong arms caught you instead. 

“Woah there, Y/N. You okay?” your rescuer asked.

“Stiles!” you cheered happily after turning your face to see one of your closest friends. “Oh my god, you saved me!” you smiled. Your back was still up against him while his hands held your waist firmly. “I was just looking for you.”

“Well you found me,” he chuckled, spinning you around so you two were facing each other. With him standing on the step below you, you were almost as tall as him and could see clearly into his whiskey colored eyes, concern crossing them. “For real though, are you okay? How much have you had to drink?”

“Um. A bit,” you giggled. It might have just been the vodka from earlier but you were very happy to be with Stiles now. 

He helped you down the stairs, noticing how hard it was for you to actually hold yourself up, let alone walk down the steps. “From the looks of it, you’ve had more than a bit. And what happened to your shirt?” he asked with widening eyes, gesturing to the large splatters of amber on your white tank top. 

“Some drunk idiots happened,” you grumbled, looking down to realize that the liquid made your shirt a little see through and it stuck to your skin underneath. “Shit.” You looped your arm through his and rested your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes for a brief moment, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. “And yes, I’m drunk if that’s what you were getting at.”   

Stiles laughed lightly, “A little too drunk is more like it.” You just hummed in response. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.” 

“Huh? Are you taking me home?” 

“I’ll take you back to mine. Your parents will definitely kill you if you come home this drunk,” he laughed. Stiles grabbed your hand and led you around the party so you both could say goodbye to your friends. 

The farewells were brief and you were soon walking in the chilly October night, a drastic temperature drop from the heat of the party inside. With your hand still enclasped in Stiles’ larger one, he walked you over to his beloved Jeep. He came around the passenger side with you to help you in, which you were thankful for because even with his help, you were ungraceful in your endeavours to hoist yourself up into the vehicle. He shut the door but you could still hear him laugh as he walked around the car to the driver’s side. 

“Here, drink some water,” he offered you a water bottle after getting in and buckling your seat belt for you. You took it from him willingly and he turned the ignition.

“Are you sober?”

Stiles scoffed. “Of course. I had a feeling I’d need to take care of you tonight,” he teased. You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t deny the fluttering that started in your belly. Good ol’ Stiles, always there when you need him.  

You turned the volume dial up, engulfing the moving car in the music playing from one of Stiles’ playlists, and the two of you hummed along peacefully.

‘Shit’ you thought, feeling the wet material of your shirt still clinging to you. You swiftly pulled it over your head, thankful to be relieved of the sticky feeling, though your drunkenness had made you forget about it. You balled it up and used the dry parts of your shirt to dab your boobs that swelled above the lace of your bra. 

“Hey, hey! What are you doing!?” Stiles shouted over the music, eyes flickering down to your chest, an incredulous look on his adorable face. He acted like you were doing something wrong and you were confused. “I’m trying to drive here!”

You quirked up an eyebrow. “And? You’re doing a great job, buddy.”

“How can you expect me to drive safely while you’re over there doing... whatever you’re doing... that!” 

You giggled at the silly, panicked look on his handsome face. “What? Am I distracting you?” You leaned forward out of your seat and turned towards the boy to be more in his line of sight. You couldn’t help but smirk, loving how easy it was to tease him. You slowly continued to wipe the remainder of beer from your stomach and under the lining of your bra.

“Fuck, Y/N, are you trying to get us killed?” His fingers rubbed over his jaw before tightly gripping the steering wheel, his left leg bouncing as he stole another glance at you. 

“I just didn’t wanna be soaked in beer anymore,” you shrugged innocently, scooting back in your seat, and he released an audible breath. 

Teasing Stiles was always fun, but between platonic friends there’s always a line. As you and Stiles have grown closer, it’s gotten harder to distinguish where that line is exactly. Sometimes you even wished the line would blur or disappear completely, due to your stupid feelings for him. You usually ignored them, but with alcohol coursing through your system, your body buzzed with a desire for the attractive boy next to you. 

The jeep stopped in Stiles’ driveway and you managed to hop out yourself this time. You followed close behind Stiles as he unlocked the door to the house. “Are you hungry at all, or did you just wanna pass out?” he asked, flicking on the kitchen lights. 

“Hmm. I could eat.”

“Great--” Stiles swiveled around, eyebrows shooting up as his eyes landed on your still half naked figure, only clad in a bra and a short skirt. “But we should definitely get you a shirt first.” Was he blushing?

The gears in your brain started turning. “Nah, I’m okay. What’s on the menu, Chef?” You sat in one of the chairs by the counter, crossing your arms underneath your chest. 

He let out a breathy laugh. “Uhm. Absolutely nothing unless you cover up.” Stiles almost looked serious, but the amusement in his eyes and the curve of his lips told you otherwise. You, however, were in a playful mood thanks to the liquor. 

“Why are you being a baby? You’ve seen me in my bra before,” you casually inquired.

He huffed, all but glaring at you. It was either because of your little insult or because you were challenging him by not doing what he asked. 

“Fine. I’ll just get myself something to eat.” You stood and strutted past Stiles towards the pantry as he held his stiff position. The warm brush of your arms did not go unnoticed by either of you. 

Skipping back to the counter with a box of cereal, you stretched your arm up to get a bowl from the upper cabinet. Opting to lean on your toes, you almost fell back in surprise when Stiles’ strong hand caught your wrist. He held it there above you as you looked up at him, feeling his warm breath fan over your face. 

“Like I said, sweetheart.” You froze, reading his stern body language. He was trying to intimidate you, but all you could think about right now was closing the small gap between you and kissing him. Sure you were intoxicated, but his proximity made you even more so. Intoxicated by him, that is. “Not until you put a shirt on.”

His grasp was still on your arm, but it was lowered between you now. Your body burned, only partially fighting off the urge to jump him right then. “Stiles...” you focused on his hard stare, the freckles littering his cheeks, his dark pink lips. “You don’t really want that.” 

You heard him inhale a deep breath, “Y/N,” he warned. But you ignored him, finally diving forward, crashing your lips to his. Stiles froze, while you just wrapped your arms around his neck. It only took half a second for Stiles to kiss you back, growling into your lips. You pulled him close, pressing your body into his while his hands found the warm skin of your waist. Your entire form sizzled with the contact, loving the taste of him.

Only seconds had gone by before he firmly pushed you away by your hips. “Y/N. Y/N, stop.” You were confused, his quick rejection causing your chest to tighten. “We-- we can’t.” 

“What Stiles? You don’t want me?” you retorted in disbelief, completely flustered. 

“Babe, you’re drunk,” he tried to reason. You pushed away from his hold on your hips, a sour laugh escaping you. 

“Sorry, Stilinski. I didn’t realize you’d be totally repulsed by me,” you flared. Many emotions swelled within you, but drunken anger took over all of them. Here you were, fully throwing yourself at your crush and he didn’t even want to kiss you. 

“That’s not it,” the boy mumbled, sighing heavily. You just scoffed turning to get away from him. “God, I am not doing this again.”

You snapped your head back around at his comment. His palms rubbed over his jaw anxiously. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Let’s not get into in it.”

Your brows furrowed. “Spit it out, Stiles.”

“You don’t remember?” He seemed almost as upset as you were, the temperature of the room rising. “Jesus, you don’t even remember,” he shook his head, hands rubbing the back of his neck now after he noticed your bewildered features.

“Remember what?” You had no idea what the hell he was talking about. After a moment of strangled silence you growled, “For the love of god, just tell me!”

“This isn’t the first time this has happened, Y/N.” 

“Huh--”

“It was hard enough to push you away the first time. I don’t think I could control myself enough to keep you away.” His fingers tugged on his messy hair, frustrated.

“What?” You were dumbfounded, unable to recollect anything about the scenario he was referring to. “Are you saying we’ve... kissed?” 

He forced out a sharp laugh. “It was a little more than that.” Your face burned red. How could you not remember any of this?

You tried to organize your thoughts in your flustered state. “What- why didn’t you say anything?”

“You acted completely normal the next day. I thought you didn’t want to talk about it. I thought you regretted it...” he mumbled the last part. 

You shook your head. “I don’t even remember. Shit did we... did we fuck?” Your eyes grew wide. Of course you’d forget sleeping with the one person you’ve liked since forever. 

“No. No, of course not. You were drunk and I have way too much respect for you.” You calmed a little, but more questions popped into your mind. “Which is why I can’t kiss you right now even though it’s killing me not to,” he all but grumbled.

You blushed. The heat of the moment was still present but dispersing around you. His last phrase echoed through your mind. 

“Y/N?” he asked cautiously after you hadn’t said anything. 

“I...” you fumbled around in your brain trying to find something to say. “I’m sorry I’ve put you in this position. Twice now,” you forced a laugh, looking down at your exposed figure and picking nervously at the skin around your fingernails. 

Stiles scrunched up his face at your suddenly saddened demeanor. “Don’t apologize,” he spoke softly. “It’s okay.”

Silence took over the room. Neither of you could bring yourselves to speak up. 

“I like you, you know.” The words abruptly left your lips, shocking yourself even more than Stiles. “I know we’re friends. Really good friends. But I like you more than that.” You surprised yourself even more as you found your voice calm and confident. 

Your gaze finally met his honey eyes which were boring into you. “I guess I only have the guts to do something about it when I’m intoxicated.” Your shoulders lifted in a shrug as you laughed sheepishly, trying to relieve some of the tension. 

Stiles’ jaw hung open, but no words tumbled out. You were getting hot and uncomfortable again. You confessed your feelings and he still has nothing to say. “Stiles?”

“Are you sure that’s not just the alcohol talking?” 

You rolled your eyes. “I’m sure. I mean the alcohol definitely helped with the delivery, but my feelings are sober.” In fact, you were sobering up by the second.

You were annoyed now. The boy still stood there not saying anything. 

“Damn. I’ll take the hint, okay?” you spat, spinning around to go upstairs. You dragged yourself up the steps to Stiles’ room hoping that he wouldn’t follow you. It was much too late to go running home at this hour but you couldn’t stand to look at his stupid, pretty face. You were humiliated, angry, but most of all, hurt. 

Shutting the door behind you, you rummaged through the middle drawer of Stiles’ dresser, pulling out one of his t-shirts. Taking off your bra and pulling the black shirt over your head, you turned to face the mirror hanging on the wall. Oh god, you looked like a drunken disaster. 

Your hair was in tangles and your dark eye makeup smudged at the corners of your eyes. Your face was flushed with eyes burning red, but those were just the tears threatening to spill over your cheeks. You refused to let them, though.

You huffed, moving over to the bathroom attached to the room. You used water to wash your face of the messy makeup and put some toothpaste on your finger to wash out the horrible liquor and strange words you had said downstairs from your mouth. Your finger swiped over your bottom lip as you remembered how Stiles’ lips felt against them. 

You didn’t let yourself sink into those thoughts. You turned off the light as you left the bathroom, only to discover Stiles sitting on the end of his bed. You hadn’t heard him come in. 

His eyes raked over you slowly, and you could see his throat bob in a gulp. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” you offered, leaning on the doorframe of the bathroom. “I get it. We’re just friends. Sorry I’ve complicated everything...” You prepared to continue rambling, just wanting this night to be over already.

“You may have complicated things a little,” his lips quirked up, “but I haven’t thought about you as just a friend in a while.”  

Your eyes blazed in confusion and shock as you just stared at him. “What does that mean?” You craved more information to be sure you were understanding correctly. Your words were almost a whisper.

“It means I like you,” the boy chuckled at your expression. “A lot.” Your heart hammered in your chest. 

“But, downstairs...” you mumbled, not knowing how to finish.

He chuckled once more. “I’m sorry. What happened downstairs was a lot to take in.” You slowly started moving closer to your long time friend, hanging onto his every word. “I’m just... scared you won’t remember this in the morning,” he whispered. 

“Stiles,” his name drew from your lips. You were now positioned in front of him, his nose turned up to look at you. You let your fingers move through his soft, dark hair. “I don’t think I could forget this even if I wanted to,” you hummed happily. “And trust me, I don’t want to.” 

You put your knees up on the bed on either side of him, straddling him as your skirt rode up your thighs. Your hands were now placed on his jaw with his on your legs, your pretty eyes meeting his in an intense stare.

“You promise?” He looked worried but hopeful.

“I pinky promise.” You came closer, intending to lock lips with him for the second time that night, but his hands shot up to catch your wrists, pulling back slightly.

“Babe,” he grunted, unwillingly. “I don’t think we should. Not ‘til you’re sober.”

You pouted. After everything tonight has been, you at least wanted a fucking kiss. “Just one innocent kiss,” you pouted even more, hoping to convince him. His eyes darted down to your bottom lip sticking out, and he grunted again. 

“Just one,” he choked out, unable to hold himself back any longer. 

He pulled you in by the back of your neck and your needy lips finally connected in a hungry and passionate kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck trying to pull him as close to you as possible. His rough fingertips moved up your legs and rested strongly on your hips. It was pure magic, unlike the kiss of drunken madness from earlier. You smiled into his lips despite not being able to breathe. Both of you were enjoying each other too much to break away for air. 

You pulled away first, resting your forehead against his. Your breaths seemed to match as you both calmed down from the heated moment. “We should get you into bed,” he spoke up first. “You better fucking remember all of this, Y/N.”

You laughed. “I pinky promised, didn’t I?” You watched as he stood and pulled back the covers of his bed for you to climb into it. You happily obliged before you noticed him start to walk away. 

“You’re not actually thinking of sleeping on the couch, are you?”

“Well I can’t sleep here,” Stiles laughed. “I don’t trust you to not jump my bones and take advantage of me.” If he was still standing near you, you would’ve hit him. 

“Just get into the bed, idiot,” you laughed. He removed his shoes before turning off the light. 

“Fine. But no funny business,” he chuckled, laying down in the sheets next to you. 

“Have it your way,” you mumbled, pressing a kiss to his cheek before rolling onto your side. You felt his strong arm wrap around your waist, spooning you. You laced your fingers through his and held them to your chest, perfectly content with your life right now. 

“I cannot fucking wait ‘til you’re sober, Y/N,” he breathed into your hair. “Then I’ll be the one taking advantage of you.”   

..................................................................................................

Masterlist

[ardnassakseyer]

Oh... HI?

Hi there Tumblr friends, if I have any at all.. haha. Long time no fucking see. well... we all know what this means right? This means I’ve got a lot on my mind at 2:49 in the morning and everytime i have a lot to talk/rant about i come to... TAAADAAA.. TUMBLR!! Okay.. lets start off by saying idk wtf i want to talk about. Theres a lot. First ive been gone from tumblr for a while because i was working on my personal growth, i felt like it was going well until this QUARANTINE happened. Dont get me wrong, I am an extreme introvert, I am a homebody and i do have social anxiety so this has been a piece of cake for me and also kind of enjoyable ( the staying home of it all, not the “we might die if we catch the rona” part.) I am taking this very seriously and do NOT want anybody i love to catch this crazy virus or anyone reading this. Anyway we went off topic.. kinda. I was doing great.. some would say amazing? at this personal growth stuff. This RONA hit and we are forced to be locked up in our houses, which leads to crazy sleeping hours.. which leads to me being up at now 2:54 in the morning.. which leads to overthinking which leads to anxiety.. which leads to me being sad all over again over stuff I thought I put behind me. What a fucking mess. Let me start by saying not all of my personal growth has gone to shit. Number 1.. i have leared to let go and move on.. which is HUGE for me because i hate to say thiss.... i really do hate to say this.. I am a scorpio sign. I know... I KNOW what yall are thinking. NOT THIS ASTROLOGY SHIT. but hey... hey.. let me be!!! I am a scorpio, we as. ive heard and read and studied like to hold grudges and love revenge. scary right? true? kinda. I do in fact hold grudges A LOT. i will hold them for years and maybe forever. if you do me wrong, i feel bad for you because I am not the one you should come to when you want forgiveness. I simply dont care. you did me wrong.. im not going to give you a second chance to fuck me over again. PERIOD. anyways that was the old me haha. The new me has learned to let shit go and move on. Thats my new motto. Next, number two i believe. I have been more independent. who would have fucking thought!!!!! I like to keep to myself now, i get shit done and i dont care if you want to go with me or not, im going anyway. i have taken control of my life. yaaaaaaaaay! those are two of the major things that i have really developed. The twist to all of this is that some of that has plummeted.. not all of it but some. I feel lonely. ah yes... loneliness is awful. in my opionion atleast. I miss having friends. i have a friend, but shes rather busy being a new mom these days, and i understand! I love my new little nephew. But i miss having a friend to go over to, to talk for hours with, to text, to call, to laugh with. to send memes and tik toks too. i miss it, i do. (im taking friend applications).. no seriously. lol anyways thats been the biggest blah of this all. I see people doing zoom calls with their friends haha and just idk still having fun in this crazy time with other people and what have i been doing? College assignments, lots of eating :( and just bingewatching series on netflix. IT sucks sometimes. and this is the place where i can type and type and type and i dont care if anyone reads it because no one truly knows me here.. and i can say whatever i want even if it doesnt make sense. so i just wanted to come on here and type shit that might not even be relatable or get a lot of reposts or attention at all because thats not why i write these texts.. i just wanted to get on here and rant about how much is in my head. so this is what i had to say and im just going to press post now.. lol hope yall had fun diving into my brain for 10 min lmao or however long this takes for someone to read because its so fucking long!!! i promise to try and post more or maybe not, idk we will see IM AN ADULT. i do what i want, or i like to think i am hahaha. ok bye lmao DISCLAIMER: I didn't proofread this, there might be lots of run on sentences, the “i” might not be capatalized and a lot of typos/spelling errors!!! as a english geek... this will be horrifying when i go back and read all of this, as the normal me at now 3:13 in the morning, i give zero ducks. i mean fucks. hahaha bye.

[shulto-masusdesus]

The Cryptid Machine [BNHA AU: Chapter 1]

Time for the cryptid machine to go wild

(this is my writing sideblog btw)

i havent written anything else in days. i pushed for it so hard. 7k in three days and its just one chapter lol, fuck (i mean i wasnt writing anything else anyway so im glad i was productive at least thanks for giving me something to do lol)

But it was also fun

I accidentally really made them into the scooby-doo gang and honestly its the best thing ive ever done unintentionally. They just fit so well

@kawaiipotatuh @vango-bango and @sooske yo hi yall said you wanted to read it so i wrote it

sorry sooske i didnt get to shiga in this chapter but hes comin,,,,this is gonna be chaptered so he’ll definitely be in this soon. definitely plot relevant because i love shiggy. 

anyway A/N over time for the story

Rating: T for language and fantasy violence (no nsfw this time this is group friend story)

tags in the tags. some body horror because cryptid-related creepiness yknow. and major character death later on so yknow

if i missed anything tell me, okay now time for the story <3

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Izuku, frankly, was stunned.

“I thought it was just a hobby!”

“A hobby?” Shouto threw back what looked to be his thirtieth Five-Hour Energy, pouring syrup on the pancakes Izuku brought without paying much attention. They were more syrup than pancake at this point, but that was hardly priority at the moment. “A hobby?”

The giant frog sitting on the table between them blinked its left eye, and then the right, after a little delay. Izuku shuddered. Too much frog, too close, too much detail. Very scaly and slimy and bumpy. Frogs were not supposed to be big. But it was easily bigger than his head, almost the size of his torso.

“How did you get it in here?”

“Thawed crickets.” Shouto raised an eyebrow, as if having frozen crickets stored for a time such as this was normal and expected. Like a madman consumed by his own craft, he picked up a syrup-coated pancake with his own two hands, and bit into it. Then he looked at the mess with mild surprise, a gaze that read “What the fuck is this? Where did all this syrup come from?” Izuku didn’t have the heart to answer him. “…You’re underestimating me.”

Izuku shut his eyes, sucked in a breath, rubbing his temples. “So. You found this frog in the woods behind your house. You just so happened to have a pack of frozen crickets-”

“No, that’s not what happened,” Shouto leaned forward, elbows on the table, the plate of pancakes Izuku brought ruined and pushed to the side, with that damned cursed light in his eyes he got when he was about to tell a story, dive head-first into a theory, or conjure up a new way to ditch work. “I’ve been hunting this frog for months. I learn about many creatures when researching,”

Scrolling r/cryptids, Izuku thought. And various other unspeakable 2chan threads and dark web sites. He sighed. Those pancakes were better than usual, too...he managed to remember to use less butter…he forgot that all the time…if he was going to make pancakes in the middle of the night, they may as well be good...what was Shouto talking about? Oh yeah, the frog.

“-and I encountered this post about a kappa sighting. It was confusing, and I almost wrote it off as another incident of someone just seeing something very mundane in the wrong light - until I recognized the location of the sighting.” There it was, Shouto’s rare grin, a look very reminiscent of the cat that finally caught the mouse. “…Heartstone Lake, on the park side of the woods.”

The giant frog grumbled. Loudly. Its chest puffed a little and Izuku felt a wild fear for what a real croak would sound like. This thing was huge. “Uhm, yeah? And?”

“So I went and checked it out.” He went over to his Wall, pointing to photo after photo, and Izuku hummed along, suddenly very, very worried about this frog in the Todoroki’s basement. This could end in many ways, and a very loud croak waking up his dad would be one of the worse ones. “Found tracks. Tracks, Izuku. You have to understand - nobody ever finds tracks.”

Izuku nodded. “Crazy.” He said, noticing how the frog’s eye was starting to slowly roll around, as if looking, scanning its surroundings. He was a little bit more than freaked out. He really had thought that this was just an interest of Shouto’s. Not something he was actually going to pursue, and that it produced a very crypid-like thing, a real result? A part of him wanted to go home and go back to bed, before Shouto decided to find a demon from hell or something. Or before the frog turned out to be a demon from hell. “…Did you do a steak-out?”

“Yes. Many steak-outs.” Shouto sighed, rubbing his face. “For…six weeks. Every night and every spare minute I could get. Along with a camera live feed setup. Only today did I actually see something, and once I did, I didn’t let it get away.” His smile was so wholesome, but the fruit of his labor was probably a harbinger of the void. Izuku was torn between supporting his friend and self-preservation.

Izuku decided to call the two people who would help back him up in whatever answer was the right one. The guardian angels, Tenya and Ochako. Because he needed help.

“I’m gonna call Tenya and Ochako.”

To Izuku’s bewilderment, Shouto deflated, smile dying, abruptly concerned. Izuku sputtered, pausing in pulling his phone out of his pocket. “What?! Do you not want them to know, or-?!”

With a sigh, Shouto grumbled, “Tenya…You know what he’d say.”

Izuku rolled his eyes. “It’s probably what you need to hear, really. Monster or not, this frog doesn’t belong indoors. We could get money for it, and what if it’s a new species or something-”

The other boy sighed. “Fine, whatever-”

The underside of the frog’s throat started expanding. Izuku watched in mute horror as it opened its mouth, and released a croak.

It was louder than Izuku expected. Very much so. His ears were left ringing from the rumbling warble, but that was hardly the biggest problem. There was a lot of thudding and yelling going on upstairs, in the upper levels of the Todoroki household; the family converging in on Shouto’s basement for whatever that definitely inhumane noise was.

Shouto’s dad was the strictest father around, and didn’t allow Shouto to have friends over on weeknights, nevermind late at night; since Izuku, an unapproved friend, basically snuck into the house on a weeknight at the unholy hour of three in the morning, he was breaking many, many rules.

And a giant fucking frog on the table in the middle of the room also would do more than raise a few eyebrows.

Shouto, however, was prepared. He pushed a mysterious white jar across the table to him, and pointed to the basement awning window. “I’ll help,” He said. “It’s actually not all that heavy.”

“Shouto! What was that?! What are you doing in there, it’s three in the morning on a school night-!”

There was his father. However, aside from the actual basement door lock, Shouto secretly installed about six extra locks, so he wasn’t getting in any time soon. “Studying, Dad,” Shouto said, heaving the massive, slimy frog off the table. He nailed he tired, annoyed, exasperated tone perfectly. Izuku opened the jar, and forced down a squeak - mushy, wet, dead crickets. “There’s a science tomorrow, I want to make sure I’m ready.”

His dad went quiet, which was his “you’re probably lying, but finding out the truth is more effort than I’m willing to put in at the moment” response. Izuku’s been witness to it a lot, as this is far from the first time he’s been a Master Lock away from getting caught. Shouto gave Izuku a look, frog in hand, as he opened the small window.

“Studying at such an…early hour is counter-productive. Get to bed, Shouto.”

“Alright.” Izuku shimmied out the window, onto the grass outside, and cringed as he opened the jar and gently picked up a soggy cricket corpse. With some difficulty, Shouto shoved the fat mass of jiggling skin through the awning, and Izuku pulled it the rest of the way out.

“Don’t let it out of your sight,” Shouto mouthed, scowling a little. Most likely because he was forced to get rid of his first find. Weird giant frog or not, it was really important to Shouto, so he couldn’t lose track of it-

The frog grumbled, and started hopping off.

“Get it!” Shouto hissed, and Izuku ran after it.

It wasn’t as fast as he thought. He caught up to it easily, and offered it a few crickets to bribe it into sitting still for a moment. Shouto’s window shut, and tense yelling ensued; Shouto buying time so he could hide incriminating evidence. His dad probably heard them.

An awkward ten minutes passed. Routinely, Izuku dropped a cricket or two, and the frog stayed put. Eventually, Shouto opened the window again, glaring.

“Take it to your house,” He said. “God knows I’m not gonna get away with hiding it here.” And he shut the window.

“So,” Izuku said, to the monster frog, dropping a couple more crickets. Its tongue flicked out to grab them, and honestly, Izuku feared for his safety. “I guess you’re coming to my place?”

 _______________________________________________________________

 Step one; get it onto his bike.

His basket was definitely big enough for the frog. He could probably stop every couple minutes to feed it a cricket so it wouldn’t struggle too much while he was on the road. It wouldn’t end well for either of them if it decided to upset the balance of the bike on the road.

He lugged the frog into the basket - it really wasn’t as heavy as it looked - and gave it a few crickets before locking the lid. Step two; get it home. That was the easy part.

The ride was mostly uneventful. The route was mostly muscle memory, so it wasn’t hard to hyperfocus on every odd rustle and bump on the back of his bike. He stopped to feed it about five times, and each time its tongue lashed out harder and faster. His fight-or-flight instinct begged him to run away from the very real monster frog on the back of his bike. He channeled the energy into maintaining cadence. If Shouto wasn’t his best friend, and wouldn’t probably murder him if he lost it, he would’ve let the frog hop into the woods when it tried to.

Finally, he reached his plain suburban neighborhood. He considered stopping at Kacchan’s house, but he’d probably kill the frog on sight, so he couldn’t rely on him for moral support. Time to call Ochako up for an early-morning napover. She said “anytime”, right?

Step three; get it to his room. His backyard didn’t have a fence, and he didn’t have a basement, and even if his mom didn’t have a panic attack when she saw the frog, she would definitely tell him to get it out of the house. Any rational person would, really. So. Hiding it in his bedroom was the only choice.

Mom never got out of bed past midnight, so it was easy to trudge inside, to his room, and to lock the door behind him. Then the frog leapt from his arms, and hopped its slimy body onto his bed. Ew. Time to call Ochako.

As promised, she answered by the fourth ring. “…Yaeah…Deku…?”

“Uhm, come to my house?” Izuku chuckled nervously. “Shouto found…uh, a giant frog, but he couldn’t keep it at his house, so I’m keeping it at mine. I need a little moral support?”

“...” Ochako sighed, a very, very long sigh. “...”

“Ochako?”

“What?”

“Shouto found a giant frog-”

“A WHAT?!”

It took Ochako all of fifteen minutes to get to his place, on foot. She took the short route to his room - through his window - and gawked at the frog for another five minutes, school backpack and sleeping bag falling from her hands.

“He - really?!”

“Yeah…”

She stared at it for a long, long time. It grumbled again. Izuku felt a sinking feeling.

“It’s - a giant frog.”

“...Yeah.”

“And…he just…?”

“No, he said he’d been looking for it for the past six weeks.”

“So that’s why he’s been passing out in class?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Ochako stared at the frog. “I thought it was all…”

“He flipped out a little when I said I thought it was just a hobby.” He ran his fingers through his hair with a huff. “This is really important to him.”

“Well…” She mumbled, eyes wide. “We may as well…take good care of it. H…how do you get a frog to go to sleep? Don’t frogs need heat lamps? How do we take care of a frog - a giant frog-” She stomped her foot. “Did Shouto think about this at all?”

She looked at Izuku. He raised an eyebrow in return. And she fell into giggles. “Yeah,” She said. “Let’s get it in front of a heater?”

Izuku left the room, running down to the hall closet to get a heater; on his way back, Ochako suddenly screamed.

He ran to his room, and to his horror, the frog was, for lack of a better term, erupting. Blowing up like a balloon. Ochako shoved him out of the doorway, into the hall, and slammed the door shut.

“What is going on here?” Oh, his mom was up now, rushing down the hall with concern. “What happened? Ochako, very…nice to see you, but at this hour? What’s happening?”

The two teens were speechless. They looked to each other for answers, but found nothing there but shock and general horror. Tentatively, Ochako cracked the door back open.

The frog was splayed about thinly like a shed bag. Sitting on Izuku’s bed now, instead, was a girl with long green hair. And also very naked, the frog broke open and was now a naked girl-

Confusion ensued. Mom screamed a little, shocked by the frog flash bag, and Ochako and Deku screamed because the frog was gone and Shouto was now on the list of people who wanted them dead; then his mom ran in, bringing the blanket up around the girl with shaking hands and firing off questions one after another, and Izuku screamed louder because he realized that somehow the frog became the girl - Ochako screamed louder, because she realized that with Shouto’s internet skill and wide range of information sources, there was no way to hide from him.

“Izuku, who is this?! Why is she naked?!” Mom turned to him with an unfamiliar demanding tone. “Explain! Now!”

“I don’t…!” Izuku was, completely, lost. “I don’t know…! I think - she was-!?”

Ochako stopped screaming, and said, “We don’t know! She - the frog - it exploded and - it was a frog before-!”

“A frog!?” Mom shouted - his mom never shouted. Izuku felt like reality was fraying at the seams. “What-”

“RIBBIT.”

Everything stopped. Ochako stopped. His mom stopped. Izuku felt like he suddenly lost the ability to breathe, like someone clicked ‘end task’ on his lungs and his panicking head.

The girl’s eyes were very, very big, an expression of pure confusion and shock on her face. “RIBBIT!” She screeched, again.

“R…’ribbit’…?” Mom said, weakly. “What do you mean…?”

“...” The girl stared at Mom with a wild lack of recognition. Not just that she didn’t know who Mom was; she had no idea what she was seeing at all and was completely lost. Izuku was almost as lost, really. “Ribbit…”

Ochako swayed lightly, gripping Izuku’s arm. “S-so - the frog was there before - did she come out of the frog…?!”

Izuku looked at the frog flesh and slime splayed on his bed. “…P…probably…”

His mom’s expression faded from extreme shock and confusion, to general surprise. “Izuku, Ochako, please explain - what is this mess - who is she-”

“I don’t know!” Izuku burst, shaking a little. “I don’t know! It was a frog before and now its a girl and Shouto didn’t tell me and I don’t know-”

“Izuku-”

“Izuku, baby, calm down,” Mom quickly crossed the room to him, softly taking his hands. “It’s okay, I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sorry. Let’s have some tea, and we’ll talk about it, okay?”

“...O…okay.”

 _______________________________________________________________

 Tea with a splash of honey was always good. It warmed him down to his core. The girl seemed to also be enjoying it, if her regular sips were any indicator. Even if she was a bit tentative, slow, testing about it, each time.

His mom sighed heavily. “So, according to your story, she’s…”

Ochako hummed. “Yeah. I don’t believe it either. We should call Shouto.”

“He’d love this,” Izuku mumbled, staring into his tea. “He probably knows what…she is. I certainly don’t.”

“...Well,” Mom glanced at the girl. She had a permanent frown on her face. “We’ll deal with this tomorrow. Today, we’ll…well, It’s already five, isn’t it?”

Izuku dropped his head onto the table. “One hour. Please. I want sleep. I didn’t sleep at all.”

“Ditto,” Ochako also dropped her head, with a heavy thud. “No sleep. At all. I almost was asleep, but then Deku called…”

“Sorry…”

“’S alright….I wouldn’t wanna miss this.” She huffed a laugh. “Somehow, I’m glad I saw it live.”

Mom sighed again, sounding old. “Okay,” She said. “You only have about two hours, though. Remember, you both promised you would ride to school this year.”

Izuku groaned, muffling himself on the wood table. Ochako also whined. The girl watched the both of them curiously.

His mom agreed to watch the girl while they napped; Izuku was so not sleeping in his bed, so he took Mom’s bed instead. Ochako splayed out over one half of the king-sized bed while Izuku took up one third, sharing it because his mom’s bed was wonderful.

It was, without a doubt, the worst nap of his life. Because just as he was getting settled in and kind of almost sleeping, the six o’clock alarm on Mom’s bedside table buzzed loudly. Along with the knee Ochako unconsciously jammed halfway up his ass and her loud drool-snore-choke-drowning, he kind of wanted to die, to get some real sleep. The reason why he stopped sleeping in the same bed as Uraraka Ochako came back to him. Violently, in the form of a foot mysteriously journeying its way up his pants. She was just the weirdest sleeper.

He untangled himself from the covers and Ochako and trudged down the hall. He went to his room, intent on grabbing a shower before school.

He grabbed his clothes from his closet and was on his way to the bathroom before he suddenly recalled what happened last night. Where the fuck was that girl-

He ran around the house, looking for her and Mom - the car was gone from the driveway. His mom had work early in the day, so that was normal, but the girl was still nowhere to be seen. Where was she?!

He texted his mom urgently, and she responded, I left her at home. She should be there with you. Have a good day at school <3

One, was he really going to just leave her at home all day? And two, she was absolutely nowhere to be seen. He checked the kitchen, the living room, all the closets, both bedrooms, and their house was one floor and small as fuck, so there wasn’t many places to hide. She was gone.

And then Ochako screamed. Izuku could probably guess where frog girl was.

He ran to Mom’s room, and there she was, Ochako standing on the bed in a martial arts defensive position with frog girl sitting on the floor, blinking cluelessly, now dressed in spare clothes Ochako left here. But she still had such an alien air around her that it felt like the clothes didn’t quite fit her. She confounded Izuku on every level.

Izuku was cobbling together some way to react to the situation when his phone started ringing. He answered.

“H-hello?!”

“Is the frog okay?”

Shouto. Izuku felt a range of emotions, from relief to joy to murderous intent to numbness. “…It turned into a person, Shouto. A girl. Did you know this would happen!?”

A silence passed.

“Shouto?”

“...S-sorry, I…”

“Shouto, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just…” He sniffed faintly. “I wanted to see it.”

“You knew it would happen?!”

“No, but I had a feeling. Part of the witness reports described a frog standing on two legs like a person, and even people with frog-like features, y’know, like a person, but a frog.” Shouto sighed. “So either it was just one creature that could shapeshift to varying levels of frog to humanoid, or it was many creatures that were all varying levels of frog to humanoid. Like kappas or something.” Something tapped rhythmically in the background. “I wished I could’ve seen the shift. Do you still have the shed skin?”

“For what, Shouto,” Izuku was, frankly, pretty fed up. The frog girl was now on top of Ochako and very closely watching her, scanning her features. “What are you going to do with a giant frog flesh bag, Shouto.”

“Research.”

“Shouto.”

“Testing.”

“Shouto! You’re missing the-”

“Fine!” The other boy huffed roughly. “I’m gonna call Mei and cash in a debt to use her research facilities.”

“Shouto, I love you, but you have a C in chemistry. But that’s beside the-”

“She’s going to examine the frog skin, okay?! That’s it! Sorry I don’t have a genetics lab in my fucking basement!”

Izuku tried to be exasperated, but he ended up fighting back a smile. “N-no, Shouto, that’s not - I - whatever Mei has to do with it, it’s a nasty sack of frog skin, Shouto. I was talking more as in, ‘it’s absurd that you would want it, so why’, not ‘you don’t have the means to do anything with it, so why’.”

Shouto went quiet. “…” It was a long, self-depreciating quiet.

“Look,” Izuku said, smile fading, because fuck, Shouto drove him crazy sometimes. “Get your ass over here and help me decide what we’re going to do about her. She can’t stay here while we’re at school all day, can she?”

“I don’t see why not,” Shouto mumbled. “Can’t take her to school. Can’t let her loose.”

“Shouto, you have the skin, basically, so you have a model of what the crypid frog looks like, right? And proof?”

“Yeah. That’s the best part.”

“So do we really need to keep her?” Izuku watched as the girl tried to lick Ochako with a freakishly long tongue. Being a reasonable human being, the brown-haired girl was scrambling away before she made contact. “She’s…well, I mean, endangered species preservation, right? And - I dunno, what’re we gonna keep her for? She looks like a person, kind of…it’d be weird. Morally.”

“...How human does she seem?”

“One hundred percent. She has big eyes, but that can be passed off as a feature, y’know?” Ochako ran to the doorway - the girl opened her mouth wide, tongue flicking out, and it reached all the way across the room, wrapping around Ochako’s waist and pulling her back in. Izuku flinched as his friend shrieked. “…But her tongue is super long and weird, like a frog’s, and she currently has captured Ochako with it.”

“...Well, human meat doesn’t sit well with frogs, so she isn’t going to try to eat her. Unless she’s an adventurous type or something. I mean, she is a monster, so she’s probably full of surprises. Don’t trust her.” Shouto laughed, like this was a joke. Izuku didn’t find it very funny...How did he know that human meat doesn’t sit well with frogs…?

Ochako was released once she was dragged close enough for the girl to grab her. “So we’re just gonna leave her in my house for the day.”

“Yeah.”

“There are hazards everywhere, Shouto.”

“She’ll probably be fine.”

“But what if my Xbox isn’t, Shouto? What if she burns my house down, Shouto? What if she breaks my Xbox Shouto-”

“Forget about your Xbox,” Shouto snapped. Izuku gasped loudly. “It’ll be fine. She won’t mess with anything. I think. And like you said, if she escapes, it isn’t that bad. As long as the skin is still there, she exists. That’s all I need. I have to take a shower before school, I smell like black coffee and steroids. Later.”

And there he went. Almost angrily, Izuku pocketed his phone and said, “H-hey!”

Frog girl looked at Izuku boredly. “Help me,” Ochako begged, held captive by the two arms around her waist. Izuku debated the pros and cons of tearing her away from the literally mutant creature. What was the likelihood of survival?

“We have an hour before we meet up with Shouto,” Izuku stated flatly. “I’m taking a shower first.”

“No!” In a flash, Ochako twisted free of her bindings and was out of the room, and zooming down the hall. “You take all the hot water!”

Izuku sighed. Frog girl, covered in her own hair like she was drowning in it, stared at him with wide green eyes. He averted his gaze, nervously.

“U-uh, hi,” He said. Wow, could he be any more awkward? Well, she wasn’t human, so it wasn’t like she’d pick up on any of human societal nuances-

“Hi.”

She said. She fucking said. She said?! She said. She talked. She said words. She said ‘hi’. Whoawhoawhoa - it had to be simple parroting, it had to be just-

“Where did she go.”

Izuku felt the inexplicable urge to cry. “Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-”

Frog girl stared at Izuku, eyes peeking between strands of hair with a strange light. “Where is she.”

“I-I-I-I-I-d-d-d-d-on’t-”

She stood up, and walked past him with halting, almost jerking steps. She left the room, and looked one way, then the other. “…”

“O-O-Ochako?!” Izuku felt like curling up in a corner and sobbing wildly. He felt like he just looked into the void and it talked back to him. He felt a number of things, and all of them involved some level of existential terror. “Sh-she’s i-in the sh-shower…D-don’t-”

She was already on her way down the hallway. Izuku didn’t really think upsetting this being of mysterious and potentially reality-breaking power was a good idea. Technically, she was another girl, so it wouldn’t be that weird for her to walk in on Ochako, right? Uh.

Right on cue, Ochako screamed. Izuku groaned. By finding this cursed being, Shouto effectively turned his life upside down. For better or worse was yet to be seen. But from how Ochako was currently fighting frog girl out of her shower, it was probably for worse. Would his life ever go back to normal?

 _______________________________________________________________

 By some miracle, they managed to get on the road on time, meeting up with Shouto on the way. While he and Ochako rode very practical bikes, he rode a skateboard. Why, he refused to really tell. If he wasn’t wearing his school uniform, he’d look like he was in the wrong decade. And somehow the uniform made it look even tackier. But it was alright. It wasn’t like he was bad at it; in fact, he pulled many moves that were reminiscent of a certain famous skateboarder, but he was also from the wrong decade. Somehow, it suited him. He, to a concerning level, didn’t care what other people thought of him, so it was okay. Just weird.

“So,” Shouto said, cruising along with Ochako, keeping up easily despite having much smaller wheels. Also weird. “Show me a pic of her.”

“A what?” Izuku blinked.

“A picture.” Shouto raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you didn’t take a picture.”

“...”

Ochako shrugged, rhythmically tapping her bell. “Didn’t think to.”

The boy huffed. “You guys are the worst,” He said. “How are we supposed to get proof that she shapeshifted if we didn’t get the after picture?”

“Shouto, I’m tired,” Izuku sighed. “I’m sorry. But this is way over my head. I’m not good at…this paranormal cryptid stuff. It’s fun when it’s just creepy stories, but - I dunno, this is too much.” He shuddered. “She talked. Just, started saying words. Like a normal person - super blunt and to the point, but it was like she said it like that on purpose. She knew. Just like that. And she was a frog before-”

“She talked?!” Shouto’s eyes lit up. “What did she say? What did her voice sound like? Ugh, I wish we got it on tape-”

“Shouto!” Izuku snapped. “Pay attention! Forget that stuff - I don’t want any part in it anymore! I’m scared! After school, we’re gonna let her go, and that’s gonna be the end of it! Okay!?” If there’s even a home to return to, Izuku thought bitterly.

Shouto stared at him, blankly. Then he looked away. “…Alright.”

Ochako whistled. “You guys fall out hard,” She said. “I give it…three days before one of you starts apologizing.”

Izuku’s face burned. He was the one apologizing, most of the time. But not this time, He thought resolutely. He wasn’t at fault here. Shouto was going to apologize to him, for dragging him into this mess in the first place.

 _______________________________________________________________

 [10:25 A.M.]

nessie: im dying. im actually dying

shouto: why

nessie: what the fuck is a lamange

nessie: mange is a disease

nessie: in french it means what??? food???? kill me

shouto: it means eat

shouto: pay attention in class and you might get it

nessie: fuck you

nessie: youre the last person i want to hear that from

shouto: ow

nessie: Rip Believe It Or Not

shouto: Ripley’s I Know This Stuff Is Real, But I Can’t Handle It, Dog

nessie: nibyguvtfcu

nessie: so you do get it

shouto: get what

shouto: what

nessie: oh my god

nessie: Oh My God

nessie: you are a national treasure

nessie: you know that

shouto: ??????

shouto: ?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!what am I missing now

nessie: shut up for a minute teach coming

shouto: well I hope not thats a little inappropriate

---

[10:30 A.M.]

nessie: shouto holy shit what the fuck oh my god what the fuck

nessie: dude

shouto: yeah I sent that without thinking

shouto: and then I couldnt send a correction because

shouto: and yeah

nessie: dude

pppppppppppink: whats happening

pppppppppppink: oh wow what was that shouto hahahahha

shouto: oh my god look it was an accident

tenya: ochako its hardly fair to make fun of him for that

tenya: it was an honest mistake

nessie: tenya coughs, “unfortunately”

shouto: say that shit to my face deku

shouto: whos on the football team huh

nessie: surprised you caught that

nessie: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

shouto: i am going to kill you,

pppppppppppink: hey no death threats on my friendly christian minecraft server

nessie: deadmeme

tenya: yes, death threats are not the way to handle strife between friends

tenya: but neither were those insults, izuku

tenya: you know shouto’s skill does not warrant comments such as those

nessie: hes gonna get a coma i know it

tenya: what does that have to do with anything

nessie: football

nessie: caveman sport

tenya: that is inappropriate

shouto: dudedudedude look man

shouto: im sorry okay

nessie: FOR WHAT SHOUTO

shouto: I DONT KNOW

pppppppppppink: wow that was fast

tenya: please quiet teacher

------

[10:35 A.M.]

shouto: look man I dont know what youre so angry about

nessie: im not angry

pppppppppppink: izuku coughs, “im furious”

nessie: im n o t

tenya: izuku i believe you are, in fact, angry

nessie: im not angry

shouto: youre angry

nessie: SHOUTO WHAT THE FUCK MAN

nessie: EXCUSE ME IF IM A LITTLE SHAKEN UP ABOUT YOU DROPPING A FUCKING FROG DEMON ONTO ME

shouto: i wouldve kept it if i could

shouto: but i forced it onto you without asking

shouto: sorry

nessie: “sorry if i valued a mythical creature above my friends feelings”

shouto: well fuck

shouto: i tried

shouto: yeah fuck you

shouto: i wouldve loved to have it

shouto: you love it when i talk to you about it so what the fuck is the difference

nessie: THEYRE JUST STORIES

nessie: S T O R I E S

nessie: I DONT WANT THEM TO BE REAL

nessie: ITS TOO MUCH

nessie: ITS SCARY

shouto: dude theres always a chance of the stories being real

shouto: you didnt know that

nessie: dontdothat

nessie: i dont want to think of them like that

nessie: no one wants them to be real

shouto: i do

nessie: yeah but ur a weirdo

tenya: foul

pppppppppppink: yeah try again

pppppppppppink: stay within bounds

nessie: are you reffing our fight

tenya: yes

tenya: go on

shouto: dude if you dont want any part of it then ill take her okay

shouto: okay?

nessie: that isnt it

nessie: because ur gonna be all weird about it and be all offended

nessie: bullshit

nessie: were gonna straighten this out here

nessie: rn

tenya: as a distraction in class.

nessie: sure

shouto: im not gonna be offended

pppppppppppink: hahahahhahahhha

shouto: im not

tenya: you will be offended

nessie: you will be offended

nessie: you dont think my fear is valid

shouto: being scared of it and pushing it away isnt going to make it disappear

shouto: theres a monster under your bed whether you want it to be there or not

nessie: oh my FUCKING GOD SHOUTO

nessie: THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

nessie: YOU DONT LISTEN TO ME

shouto: i am

shouto: im doing nothing but listening to you

shouto: im getting on aizawas nerves

tenya: he means respect

tenya: you arent respecting him

tenya: as evidenced by you “twisting the knife”, for lack of a better term

tenya: you understand that stories of paranormal activities entertain him?

shouto: yes

tenya: the rift seems to lay in the fact that although he enjoys them as stories, he does not wish them to be real, intimate experiences

tenya: this is where you two seem to split

tenya: because you strive to live the stories

pppppppppppink: *is eating popcorn* marriage counseling :D

shouto: i mean who wouldnt

nessie: I DONT I DONT I DONT I DONT I DONT

nessie: NONONONONONONONO

nessie: UCK AMN DO YOU THIINK I WANNA FUCKING

nessie: THAT IS

nessie: NOOONONONONOONONO

shouto: shit man calm down

shouto: so it scares you

nessie: fuck yess??? you get it????finally????

shouto: why

[nessie has left the group chat.]

pppppppppppink: dude you messed up

shouto: .

tenya: i advise understanding

tenya: not everyone feels the same way you do

shouto: well duh

shouto: but it isnt scary

shouto: .

pppppppppppink: are you hearing yourself? finally?

pppppppppppink: not to be mean, ur just

pppppppppppink: really dense :D

tenya: to him, it is scary.

tenya: and thats just how he works

tenya: youll have to respect that

shouto: but its not scary

tenya: that is an opinion, shouto

tenya: not fact. it varies from person to person

tenya: you have to respect his opinion, shouto

shouto: .

shouto: god

shouto: fine

tenya: now what’s this about a “frog demon”?

pppppppppppink: ohohoohooho

shouto: first of all, it isnt a demon

pppppppppppink: do i have a story for you!

 _______________________________________________________________

 Izuku settled on giving Shouto the cold shoulder. It lasted out of school and on the way home, even as they pulled up to his house. Even as he kept pestering him with his constant, creepy, begging stare. Fuck him. Because if he talked first, he’d end up apologizing. And he couldn’t do that. He wasn’t the one at fault.

The frog girl was gone. They searched high and low, all over his house, but she was nowhere to be seen. Izuku found the frog skin wrapped up in the dumpster outside, and threw it at Shouto without a word. Shouto didn’t say anything, either.

“Hm,” Ochako popped a sucker into her mouth. “I changed my mind. Two days.”

Izuku grumbled, flushing bright red.

“I find this whole story a little hard to believe,” Tenya said, and Izuku felt a wild urge to punch him. “You mean to tell me that this so-called giant frog split open and turned out to be a young girl? Who is now missing?”

“Tenya, I wish it didn’t happen,” Izuku crossed the driveway, grabbing the taller boy by his quarterback shoulders. “I wish desperately that it didn’t happen. But it did.”

“Oh yeah,” Ochako said, nodding. “It was crazy. I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t been there.” With a shrug, she added, “Still kinda in doubt. It was super late.”

“Maybe it was a dream?”

“No,” Shouto said, coming up to show Tenya something on his phone. “Pictures. Video. It’s real. The frog, at least. I also have samples at home. I did some research - actually, there are some frogs that can grow up to about the size of our frog, but they can only live in equatorial Guinea. Without the girl, the skin only proves that a new species of giant frog lives in the area unless they map its genome or something.” He shrugged. “Not the story I was looking for, but cool nonetheless.”

“’Story’?” Izuku bristled. “What are you even looking for, Shouto? Why are you doing this at all?” Whoops. But he couldn’t help it. He’d been wondering it for a while, but this was the breaking point. Would he just hand the girl over to scientists for testing if he did have her? Would they take advantage of the fact that she isn’t human to do whatever they wanted? What was Shouto getting from this? Money? Fame? He wasn’t the type who would search out stuff like that, so what-?!

“Huh?” Shouto tilted his head. “...Why not? It’s fun.”

He could scream. Angrily, he stomped back to the porch, yanking open his door and ready to lock it behind him-

-and the kitchen was a mess, like a tornado whizzed around in the few moments they went outside. The dining table was on its side, chairs thrown around, cabinets raided and foodstuffs everywhere. The fridge was open, and judging from the aggressive clinking going on, someone was there. Izuku could probably guess who it was. But why now? She barely touched anything, earlier.

And then she peeked above the fridge door. Izuku screamed.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

if anyone knows how to color text please tell me because i spent a lot of time coloring the chat messages in the original doc and im sad it didnt carry so please and thank you tell me,

[gratiasancti]

100 PERSONAL QUESTIONS

because @ineffablequestion​ decided to really put my patience to the test today . not that i mind , ily .

1. What is your middle name ?

maria 

2. How old are you ?

23 as of right now !

3. When is your birthday?

oct. 19th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

libra waddup

5. What is your favorite color?

i don’t really have one ? muted colours probably

6. What’s your lucky number?

again, can’t say i have one but maybe 29

7. Do you have any pets?

a dod and a horse

8. Where are you from?

finland / uk

9. How tall are you?

174 cm

10. What shoe size are you?

eu 39-40

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

like seven, if you don’t count my collection of riding shoes and boots. oxfords, brogues, wellies, trainers, and the rest are probably heels. as for riding boots, a lot.

12. What was your last dream about?

that i was late from work and got thrown in a tar pit because of it. and then i sold my old history teacher 500€ worth of alcohol and lottery tickets.

13. What talents do you have?

none?? unlimited sarcasm, idk

14. Are you psychic in any way?

i’m not sure if i believe in this stuff

15. Favorite song?

honestly, anything from hippo campus or glass animals.

16. Favorite movie?

the grand budapest hotel

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who counteracts some of my anxiety and excitedness with a calm and, when needed, firm character but is still funny and can be themselves. preferably someone who i feel is my intellectual equal, and we can share everything with each other. maybe a bit older than myself, but not by much. other than that, i really don’t care.

18. Do you want children?

currently, i can’t see myself ever having kids. just doesn’t seem like my thing. especially babies. maybe adopting or fostering could be an option, but only if i was sure i could give the child a good home.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i don’t think i want to get married

20. Are you religious?

not particularly

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

maaaaaaany times. multiple riding accidents, broken bones, a car crash. then just being an idiot in general. and chronic back problems.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

apart from once forgetting to pay for the underground and getting an 80€ fine, no.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

i’ve met and had dinner with two different finnish presidents and some other ‘upper class’ people but other than that, no. 

24. Baths or showers?

one of those rain shower things

25. What color socks are you wearing?

i have no socks !!!

26. Have you ever been famous?

uhhhh not in the literal sense of the word but i’ve been infamous at school when i was like 15. made a meme of one of our teachers that went low key viral in our city.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

definitely not in the hollywood sense of things. 

28. What type of music do you like?

a lot of things. anything, really, depending on the time of day and if i’m feeling particularly emo.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

that’s like the only type of swimming finnish people partake in. naked in the sauna, naked in the lake/ocean. so yes, multiple times a year jhdsnhb

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

currently like five

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

either on my back or on my stomach. depends on what place hurts that day lmao.

32. How big is your house?

closer to 400 m^2 . i still live with my parents but will move into my own flat in six months, once it’s ready. that’s going to be appx 70 m^2.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i know its a bad habit but i often dont have breakfast. if i do it's usually fruit and yoghurt or some toast.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

yes

35. Have you ever tried archery?

yes. fun fact; my cousin has won the european championchip ( in some form of archery idk ) like twice , i think. 

36. Favorite clean word?

defenestrate

37. Favorite swear word?

fuck. i use it Too Much™

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

can’t remember the exact amount of hours but we were sailing and our shifts got messed up to the point where i had either not slept at all or slept so little in like four days i was genuinely hallucinating. almost jumped into the sea because i thought i dropped my life vest,,, which i was wearing.

39. Do you have any scars?

a few. dumbest one probably when i rode in my shorts but used a saddle and rubbed the skin off of my calf. also from hay work, those little dots that look almost like moles.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

not that i know of

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, unfortunately. it’s a bad habit in the sense that i tell a lot of white lies when i could genuinely tell the truth with no consequence. like, it would be the one and the same.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

also yes. i’ve seen some shit. also i have surprisingly good people skills.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i can speak english in my normal accent which is kind of queen’s english (?) upper class idk, then in world’s english ( so basically no accent / neutral ) and then in finnish (rally) english .  i can also speak swedish with a rikssvenska (standard swedish ???) accent and then finlandssvenska which is finnish swedish (and an actual thing lmao). also i can butcher a norwegian or danish accent in swedish if i really try. my finnish is very neutral, but it does vary a bit depending on what city i’m in.

oh, and also a shitty southern american accent. 

44. Do you have a strong accent?

if i let it shine through, yes, but i tend toward world english because anything else scares finns. but when i speak finnish (which is most of the time) i don’t really have an accent. maybe you can hear that i’m not 100% finnish but that’s about it.

45. What is your favorite accent?

i don’t really have one ! all accents are really fascinating.

46. What is your personality type?

entj-a

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

i have a few expensive dresses, and then of course my riding clothes which cost ridiculous amounts of money because fuck everyone who likes horses, i guess. like excuse me but why is it normalised that you pay over 1000€ for a helmet??? anything less and you’re a peasant.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

mmmmyeah. 

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie!

50. Left or right handed?

pretty much ambidextrous, though i prefer to write with my left but do everything else mostly with my right. my handwriting doesn’t differ too much from left to write.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

yes. ew. and we’re lucky to only have tiny ones in finland !

52. Favorite food?

ummmmm. currently carelian pie maybe?? idk such a good snack.

53. Favorite foreign food?

squints??? sushi????

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

depends. often too lazy to clean but incredibly stressed and uncomfortable when its messy. meticulous about all the wrong things.

55. Most used phrase?

either some form of keysmash or “FUCK”. also in finnish either “voi jumalauta” or “voi saatana” which both basically translate to “jesus fucking christ”.

56. Most used word?

also fuck. this really must say something about me smdh.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

really depends. sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes two hours. on a normal day w/ shower and moderate make up, 15-25 minutes.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

depends really. i hope i don’t!

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

whomst the FUCK bites lollipops ?!?!?!

60. Do you talk to yourself?

i’ve only recently started. it’s terrifying.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

when driving if i’m listening to music, yeah

62. Are you a good singer?

honestly, no clue. i don’t really sing in front of people so i haven’t gotten opinions.

63. Biggest Fear?

failure.

64. Are you a gossip?

not about my friends, ever. but i will definitely listen to any tea you want to spill.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idk does kingsman count as dramatic?? the first one was hilarious.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

both have their perks!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

LMAO i can name like 3 if i really try.

68. Favorite school subject?

history, english lang & lit, economics.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

extrovert but i get tired easily

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

yes ! we go to the maldives once in a while, because finland doesn’t offer much in terms of diving sites.

71. What makes you nervous?

not a lot of things? i guess some responsibilities. things left for me to do even if someone else was supposed to do them.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

a dark room ? no. a dark forest at midnight ? hell yess. finnish winter darkness is terrifying simply because its so depressing. seasonal depression is real yall.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends. if it’s a trivial mistake and they haven’t asked to be corrected, no. if it makes me or someone else feel bad or just makes any situation worse, then yes. but never unkindly.

74. Are you ticklish?

YES. ugh

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

no. i can’t recall doing so, at least. but i have participated in spreading them.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

yes. at work a couple of times simply out of necessity and also when i took part in MEP. was committee president twice and president of the general assembly once. though idk if that counts since i was like 17 and its all p much play pretend.

oh! and also when i captain our boat. but again, idk if that counts.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

yeah, ever since i was like 16 :/

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no, and never will. not my thing !!

79. Who was your first real crush?

probably a boy from class. i can’t remember, really. i’ve never been too  ‘romantically inclined’ i  suppose.

80. How many piercings do you have?

just my ears, once.

81. Can you roll your Rs?

almost every r in the finnish language is technically rolled so yeah. i feel bad for those finnish people who cant !! makes everything so hard.

82. How fast can you type?

according to this thing 75 words per minute on my first try, so idk how accurate that is.

83. How fast can you run?

not fast. i  hate running, and am very out of practice. 

84. What color is your hair?

idk ? like, light brown ?

85. What color are your eyes?

again, idk. blue/green/grey

86. What are you allergic to?

dogs, cats, birch, and almost anything that flowers in the spring jshbdsjh

87. Do you keep a journal?

not a journal per se but i have a ‘little black book’ which i keep rather meticulously about my thoughts on the day, important things i need to remember, my expenses etc. a habit inherited from my dad. i’ve gone through like six of these in the past few years.

88. What do your parents do?

my mum is a mayor and my dad is a ceo

89. Do you like your age?

yeah !

90. What makes you angry?

injustice.

91. Do you like your own name?

yes !

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

ksjdsjhb no. at this rate i’d end up naming a child crowley or sum shit

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i don’t want kids but if i did gender would be a non issue

94. What are you strengths?

lmao i have good people skills, work well under pressure, get along with everyone, am determined and ?? a good leader??? idk

95. What are your weaknesses?

i take on too much responsibility, i have anxiety and depression, i get frustrated at my own failures, i’m very self-critical and unforgiving. also no self-control when it comes to rp.

96. How did you get your name?

i think somewhere from my dad’s side, not entirely sure.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

possibly? not sure. but fun fact! a great great grandmother (? or something of the sorts) from my mother’s side actually survived the sinking of the titanic.

98. Do you have any scars?

wasn’t this asked already?

99. Color of your bedspread?

this blue mandala like pattern idk

100. Color of your room?

white and a very mellow blue

[biorusted]

Ok, had a ‘The Magnus Archives’ induced dreams so I’m documenting it here bc A) good horror shit bro and B) I actually remember this one which is wack.

Disclaimer from the start- it’s a dream. Shit don’t stay consistent.

Me, as a child, and a bunch of friends are playing in the front yard of my old house. 5 of us are playing a made-up game, something that involved moving shapes/ a tarp that we called “___ ____ Witch” or somethin’. A Man walks up, dressed up like an old-time ice-cream truck man and wants to know what we’re playing, we tell him and he asks to join. I don’t get a good look at his face. Who cares at this point is still a dream. So the five of us, me, my designated best friend, a set of twins (named Julian and Portia (Ya know, from The Arcana) yeah I called myself out mid dream to note this) and another girl start running around him with this tarp/ shapes chanting something we made up and he’s in the middle being ushered downhill towards the road. My old house lived in an unnamed off shoot of the main road and never got a lot of traffic except for the school bus that came on the weekdays, this is to say, there was no one on the old road and no fear of there being anyone, just us kids and apparently this dude. We stop when we hit the edge of my yard and notice that A) the man in the middle is gone and B) so is the unnamed girl.

My designated best friend kinda panicked and started to run up the hill again, looking for the girl, at her panic, the other kids started to wander off and by the time we saw the body, it was just me and my best friend (who is, fun fact, my irl neighbor when I lived at my old house.) The body as I saw it was covered in birds, crows or ravens, and mostly obscured by tall grass. Kinda like stumbling upon a body in a meadow, mostly worn away by the fauna, dried blood and old leathery skin. I remember distinctly that the mouth was open wide in a silent scream, skin was a dark gray and the only thought in my head was ‘that person looks a lot older than she should’.

So I ran inside to phone the police. I opened the door to my house and ran down the hallway yelling ‘somebody help me’. At this time my house was akin to a lecture hall, not the rows of people sitting down neatly taking notes, but just a lot of college aged people, sitting everywhere they could with their binders out and taking some kind of notes, ultimately however, not paying any attention to me. Even when I shouted, ‘we found a body!’ at them, only my grandmother reacted. She stood in the doorway of the kitchen (which, mind you, has a straight shot view out into the driveway/ yard, amping up the need for immediate reaction) and dialed the police. At this point in time, I’m panicked, I know theres something coming and theres a time crunch. She spoke into the speaker, very calmly, agonizingly patient and slow, ‘Now I don’t want to raise alarm but- now hold on- we have a *777*’ she whispered this like that was the secret code to finding a body and didn’t want to freak out anyone else listing in? Yeah. The call was forwarded, and my grandmother gave me the phone, it was picked up and even though I couldn’t really make out what the man on the other side said, I started to talk.

At this point I’m running outside again to meet my best friend (who’s now black? And not my neighbor?) Who’s bringing all the stuff inside bc idk can’t let anyone know we did shit here? Cover our tracks to make sure Dairy Man can’t find us? Idk, but I’m yelling into the phone “Yes! Uh, We found a body, its badly decomposed and uh” Me, remembering they prob needed the address “I live at…. Riverside?” (not the name of the road mind u) I note that its wrong and not the address, apologize and explain that I just moved back in and hadn’t memorized the house address yet bc idk yall I’m a kid here so? I reach my friend and go to hand the phone to her saying, “My friend knows the address” but before I can pass it, a voice – very ‘IT’ like – comes on and says ‘What was that address again?’. So I panic, and turn the phone off.

At this we hear an ice cream truck start coming down the road, it’s a little way off but that doesn’t help the rising sense of doom in my chest. So me and my best friend start pushing the last remaining evidence of us being in the yard (a cart) up the driveway hill (which is much steeper now) as the music of the ice cream truck gets closer and closer. We do that kind of run, the one your brain does when you’re being chased; futile and desperate, but made it inside before the truck is in front of the house. I remember thinking ‘yeah, he’s gotta be looking at the road no way he sees us, the only other people on the street.’

Well, after diving behind the door, shutting it and then laying prone in what we hoped was a safe spot, the ice cream truck pulls up into our driveway, right in front of our porch. From my vantage point, through my aparently mostly warped glass front door, I can see that the man is a clown. Still dressed in an old time (60s ish?) light blue ice-cream truck-esk jumpsuit, he had the full face of makeup. But not the bright colors on a traditional clown, it was faded and bleached, like he was a statue left out to the weather for too long, that and with his tufts of hair that shot out from his hat made Look™ very complete. He had the window to the truck rolled down and was smiling an impossible smiled while looking around expectantly, just before he would have looked at me, I dove to the corner of the door, hoping that he wouldn’t see me now that I was in semi-shadow. I didn’t move away from the door, like I had to watch him, so he didn’t disappear and pop out from nowhere at us. I look over to see my friend still in full view of the ice-cream man and say ‘if you can see it, it can see you’ in a force full whisper. She gasps and shuffles to the edge of the door like I am and wait. All the while the music is still playing.

The last thing I remember is looking over again to see two feet, my grandmother, and hearing her say ‘whats this going on outside?’ a feeling of a heavy weight sinks into my chest and I wake up kinda in a ‘idk what the fuck just happened but imma get the fuck outta here; fuck this shit I’m out’ kinda way just by deciding to open my eyes.

--

So yeah, woke up, diagnosed myself with ‘The Stranger’ and decided to write it out.

uhhhh that’s what I get for binging TMA and then drinking caffeine so I can’t sleep until 6 am. Yee haw. im going back to sleep.