#its so hard for me to be open about the things that have happened to me the last 2 years
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OT13 Reaction -- when you ask them for an absurd amount of money as a prank
SCOUPS:
will transfer you the money, no questions asked. unless it's like an insane amount of money - like enough to buy a car - then he'd be concerned and ask why you need it. are you in trouble? are you being blackmailed? what can he do? he's ready to assist you in anyway possible and will be sulky when he finds out it's a prank. relieved, but a little sad that you'd even feel the need to test his loyalty to you.
JEONGHAN:
his immediate reaction is no. have you guys seen that interview where one of the members (i think it was dino? mingyu? my memory is so bad) said that jeonghan doesn't play when it comes to money and it lowkey stingy? yeah that. he'll definitely be hesitant and might even just flat out say no. extremely proud when you reveal it was a prank all along. i knew it was a prank, baby~ the student can't fool the teacher~
JOSHUA:
his immediately worried something terrible has happened. it's uncommon for you to ask him for money, usually its small enough sums that you don't even have to ask - you have his card anyways. stressed and annoyed when you tell him its all a prank. ai~ you know my weak heart cannot take you stressing me out.
JUN:
a little confused why you're asking him for money. he's the type to not catch on, you being in danger isn't the immediate thought when you ask him for 300 thousand dollars. will not react when you tell him it was a prank, the request for the money hasn't even properly computed in his head yet.
HOSHI:
he's going to complain he doesn't have that much money even though we all know he does. he'll agree to transfer it to you, but will whine and nag the whole time that this is his hard earned money! he loves you but why are you taking it away! another type to get sulky when you tell him its a prank and you don't actually need the money.
WONWOO:
ummm...why? he'll ask a shit ton of questions before agreeing, he needs to know why, when, what, where, who? all the details. this is his money after all, he needs to know where its all going. it gets to the point where you give up, just telling him its a prank cause his questioning isn't making it fun anymore. he tsks and asks if you have too much time on your hands to be pranking him.
WOOZI:
the money is in your bank account before you even finish asking. he's lowkey surprised you haven't asked sooner, he's always open with how much he's making and constantly tells you he'd just rather you guys have a joint bank account so he can spoil you. refuses to let you return the money once you admit its a prank. he makes more than enough anyways.
MINGHAO:
another one that's immediately worried. money's never been a topic you guys have ever talked about so he knows there must be something wrong. asks a boatload of questions trying to make sure you're okay and not getting scammed online or something. ends up just chiding you for even falling into a trap where you need that much money and narrows his eyes at you when you tell him its a prank. he thinks you're crazy and has too much time on your hands.
DK:
poor baby's scared. sure he makes a lot of money but he's never needed that much. eyes are popping out of his head when you tell him the sum of what you need. he agrees, of course, anything for you, but his hands are shaking as he reaches for his wallet. dramatically flops onto the floor when you tell him its a prank, begging you to never do that again - he might be rich but in his mind he's got like 5 cents in his bank account.
MINGYU:
blinks. pretends to think about it, but really he's been waiting for this day. the only possibility in his mind as to why you need the money is only for good things, and who is he to not spoil his baby? begs you to take his card anyways when you tell him its a prank. it's literally the only reason why i work, baby. just take my card.
SEUNGKWAN:
he's dramatic, screeching about how that's an insane amount of money and that he wouldn't even drop that kind of money on himself- and he loves himself very very much! calms down and genuinely sits your ass down to ask why you even need it. feels extremely betrayed when you tell him its a prank and vows to get revenge.
VERNON:
he sighs. he knows this trend and he's not having it. baby, you know i'd do anything for you right. you've got me like wrapped around your finger. you literally don't need to test my loyalty. apologizes when you get sulky over him already knowing the prank and offers to let you try again - this time he'll play along. ohmygod that's a lot of money are you being blackmailed? shopping in the black market? getting us a house in Bali? shrugs when you complain about his reaction being ingenuine and over the top. there is only so much he can do.
DINO:
his jaw is dropping at how large the sum is. yeah, he's got that money, and he'll show you his bank account just to prove it. but he'll start listing out what everything is for. that sum's set aside for our house, that one's to send our kids to school - we never said how many we'd have but i set aside enough to four university tuitions, and- you'll cut him off cause he's going to make you cry with how thoughtful he is. scolds him for ruining your prank. prank? he's confused. what do you mean prank? he got so invested in telling you everything he's saved up for your shared future he kinda forgot the original question.
#seventeen imagines#seventeen ot13#svt x reader#svt#svt imagines#seventeen#svt fluff#seventeen blurbs#seventeen x reader#scoups x reader#jeonghan x reader#joshua x you#joshua x reader#jun x reader#hoshi x reader#wonwoo x reader#woozi x reader#the8 x reader#mingyu x reader#dk x reader#seungkwan x reader#vernon x reader#dino x reader
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See the problem is most people do not care unless it affects them. We have learned this a million times, hell look at the Puerto Ricans who changed their vote last minute because oh my gosh how dare they say that about my group!!! Despite the other side being awful as hell to everyone else including the other Hispanic populations which I’m going to be honest blew my mind a bit.
I hate to bring up the same thing a million other people say but it’s true, it’s the “I didn’t think the leopards would eat my face said the woman who voted for the leopards eating faces party.” phenomenon
So it’s pretty simple; if this is the only way someone will pay attention, then yes the suffering everyone else is feeling needs to hit their own circle for them to realize. When they’re dying from food regulation pulled back maybe they’ll realize. Or as we’ve seen with Covid maybe they won’t and they’re too damn stupid. I hate to use silly video game quotes but goddamn does Soren Fire Emblem hit it hard.
It’s true! We’ve seen it happen! We’ve heard from PLENTY of former Trump voters who are former Trump voters that all have one common theme: they didn’t think they would be affected and they’re got affected. So anyone who is like I want the people to suffer yeah I get it for selfish people who will not respond to outreach who will not have empathy for other people, it’s been proven it’s the only way they will care. Of course op the preferred method of is becoming a part of their circle so they care about you too. And don’t get me wrong that can work too and had but only on people willing to open their hearts and I hate that not everyone is capable of that. You’d think it’s do easy but it’s been proven that unfortunately a good amount of people don’t care until they or their community gets hit. And it sucks so many people are incapable of this empathy for others who are suffering SO
TLDR
Some people need this to happen because they don’t have compassion for others and it sucks I’m 100% anti suffering. I agree with you it’s not as important as marginalized communities safety and that’s not what we should be focusing on HOWEVER we’ve seen with this group of the unreachable its the only way they’ll wake up. And sometimes that doesn’t even happen and nothing can change their mind. For me it’s not about accountability or even having others suffer it’s you’re so closed minded you cannot see what’s happening until it hits you so for the sake of the world I hope it hits you and you wake up and join us despite what you’ve done in the past I’d love to have you thank you for finally opening your mind.
Every time you think to yourself, "I want the people who voted That Way to learn their lesson," I want you to come back to this post and ask yourself, "Is that really more important than marginalized people's safety? Am I engaging in Leftist LARPing to the detriment of actual people?"
#like yeah I’m human and I want the magas to suffer for what they’ve done#but if they leave the cult and realize how stupid they’ve been and decide to help instead?#I’ll accept them back it’s all brainwashing#obviously it’s different for those in power I am vindictive and I do want them to suffer#but frankly some people are so narcissistic and terrible I think it is deserved#for the rest though we need them to wake up through either outreach or the unfortunate reality of until it happens to them they won’t care
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Do it for them - Co-captain reader x Curly
Previous - FINAL PART - Bonus
"Let me see"
You mentioned while laughing, sitting in front of the man who looked at you affectionately as you touched his face and observed him attentively.
"Your eye looks a bit red... Have you been using the drops the doctor recommended?"
Curly: "Maybe... I forgot them... today"
His voice was still somewhat strange to hear, it had the essence of what his voice once was, but much rougher and it was difficult for him to say long sentences, he had to pause between words to be able to say them.
You caressed his cheeks with your thumbs, seeing the scars on his face.
At first, it wasn't the same skin you knew; you were surprised at how his body returned to that familiar skin, changing its texture, gradually becoming the skin you love to touch.
You noticed the ring hanging from his neck, with the lack of hands, he wore his ring that way to keep it close.
He had to convince you to give him back his ring, but at that moment you were in crisis because you had told him that the day you took it off, you would leave him. Although you reached an agreement to annul that promise.
Five years had already passed since you returned to Earth, and too many things had happened.
On your side, you started following your dream when you were little, and today you have your own bakery.
But it was hard work getting here, because the first thing you worried about was your husband's well-being, who spent half a year resting in the hospital, and then you had to take care of him with attention at home.
Pony Express decided to give you a percentage of your salary and a bonus for the damages they suffered, so with that money, they performed the man's first surgeries.
A skin graft, hair, and facial reconstruction, among others, over the next two years.
He used prosthetics that helped him walk and pick things up on his own, although just in case, you still had his wheelchair as a backup, which he refuses to use again, and when you're not watching, he tries to get rid of it, but you've locked the room where it is.
You even adopted two dogs, the first was Jupiter, a Labrador, a service dog who helps Curly when you're not around, and he's also a very good companion.
And after insisting for so long that Jupiter needed a little sibbling, you adopted Sunset, a dog you had found outside your bakery begging for food, a golden retriever who had escaped from her home, where it seemed they only used her to have puppies and sell them because she was purebred.
Both animals got along well right away, both quite calm, they don't cause any problems.
On the other hand, you stayed in touch with the rest of the crew.
Anya was able to get into medical school a few months after returning, and she is currently in her final year to receive her diploma.
Swansea retired and stayed at home with his family and children, being welcomed by his wife and the little girl she had had a few months ago.
Daisuke tried again with the art school, giving his all and with the support of his parents, he was able to get in. He even has a blog where he talks about the experiences he had in his life to motivate other young people to follow what they love.
Jimmy on the other hand... The last thing you heard about him was that his sentence was extended further for causing conflicts during his time in prison.
As for the little baby... you found out she was adopted by a good family, and that was all you needed to know about her.
Curly: "They're already... about to arrive"
He alerted when he heard Sunset start barking upon hearing a car park nearby.
He got out of bed and went outside to open the door and let his friends into the yard.
There was something that became a tradition among you, every year you celebrated the anniversary of the day you returned alive to Earth after such an experience, having a meal at your home.
Daisuke: "Who is the cutest girl! Let me pet you, fluffball!"
The boy, every time he went, was determined to make Sunset his friend, but she always ended up hiding where he couldn't reach her.
Anya: "Today is a wonderful day... And the food smells really good, every year they surpass the previous year's food, it's incredible."
Swansea: "Not bad, huh! Did you make this grill by yourself, Curly? The meat looks incredible."
Daisuke: "Where is (Yn)?? I want to greet her!"
He had managed to catch the dog, who was resigned in his arms while Jupiter was barking at Daisuke, knowing how upset Sunset was.
Curly: "She has... a surprise for... all of you."
He said, smiling, waiting for you to come out in the summer dress he had bought for you, quite loose and comfortable, perfect for your growing belly.
Everyone was surprised to see you, Daisuke was left speechless, dropping Sunset.
Daisuke: "But! You said-!"
"Well, not naturally—but... I was given the opportunity to do it in vitro and it was a success! I was afraid it wouldn't work because of my eggs, but... after several failed attempts... we finally got very lucky."
You caressed your belly, smiling.
Swansea: "Look at that... Congratulations, kid!"
Anya: "That's wonderful! Oh my God, how many weeks are you now? Do you already know their gender? Why didn't you tell us anything?"
She approached to touch your belly, happy that you have achieved what you wanted so much.
"I'm already in my 29th week... And we already know it's a boy! We were deciding on a name!"
Daisuke: "I have a really cool one!"
"I'm not going to call him Daisuke."
The boy let out a disappointed "aaaw" that you weren't going to consider his name for your son.
Curly: "We thought... of Charles"
"That I'm still not at all in agreement with that name."
You pointed at him, making him laugh and roll his eye.
Anya: "You still have time! When is your due date? I would like to be with you when it happens."
Daisuke: "Can I be there too? Maybe the second time I won't faint, hehe."
Swansea: "I wish you the best, boys are not difficult to entertain, they are difficult to keep alive, they love danger even after reaching adulthood."
You felt very excited about all the support you were receiving, happy to have met such wonderful people.
You didn't regret at all for having done everything possible to get them out of that situation.
The gathering continued with everyone eating and talking about the things they had been doing lately, catching up on their activities, until dessert time arrived, everyone's favorite moment.
Curly: "The best sweets... are from my wife..."
Swansea: "You don't even like sweets!"
Curly couldn't help but smile anyway when he saw everyone enthusiastically eating the ice cream cake you had made for that hot day, while he had his own special portion that you prepared for him so he could eat without too much sweetness.
You couldn't resist feeding him, and even though he wanted to seem annoyed, he adored the attention you gave him.
"Oops~ I'm sorry~ I stained your cheek"
You said with a smile to kiss his cheek, you started smearing hkd face with the dessert and left kisses on all those spots.
Swansea: "Get a room!"
Daisuke: "...Did you ever do it on the ship while working?"
"DAISUKE!"
You shouted with your cheeks red at such a true thing that had been said.
Curly: "...Two or three times..."
Swansea: "That's nothing, you managed to control themselves quite well."
Curly: "....During the week"
"Can I send it back into space?"
You didn't know how to hide your face in response to his declaration, you were extremely embarrassed.
But you had no escape, from the day you said yes, that man was going to stay with you until the end of his days.
And you knew well that he is going to be an incredible father soon as well.
In the end, everyone was able to have their well-deserved fate.
#mouthwash#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing#mouthwashing x reader#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#captain curly#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#captain curly x reader#curly x reader#mouthwashing curly#do it for them mouthwashing
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November is Diabetes Awareness Month A few years ago during his days in WWE, The Conglomeration's Kyle O'Reilly opened up about having diabetes. Here's what he said: "I’ve never been super candid or vocal about living with type 1 diabetes but since November is Diabetes awareness month I figured it was my responsibility to share some things that may help somebody else. This device on my arm is a continuous glucose monitor and it is basically my life line. I know how hard it can be living with diabetes. Injecting insulin or constantly stabbing your finger to test your blood at what always seems to be the prime inopportune moment. There are so many variables that make living with this disease difficult and every day is a struggle to maintain healthy blood sugars. I’ve been inspired recently by Chris Ruden and Kyle Kondoff two guys who are very comfortable in their skin and are very open about living with type 1 diabetes. I’ve been reminded that nobody has to travel this road on their own and having a support system is critical in diabetes management. Although there is no cure, medical technology continues to advance and having the EversenseCGM become a part of my life has really changed the game for me. I know how self conscious one can be with pump wires hanging out of your shirt or having to draw and inject insulin in the middle of a crowded restaurant, but that’s life. And having this device makes me feel like a cyborg which is cool too. If you or somebody you know struggles with this disease you’ve got someone cheering you on. If you care for a child with diabetes let them know they can achieve anything. Doctors told me a career in pro-wrestling would be impossible. I’m an NXT tag-team champion now. This is a mental grind as much as it is a physical grind and take each day with a new perspective and chance to be better than you were yesterday." As well, from a different interview, if you're curious about how he manages things: "On days where I’m on TV it seems like my insulin doesn’t really work. I think that’s cortisol and stress doing its thing. As soon as I’m done and I can settle back down it works again. Typically before matches I tend to run pretty high, but I think that beats the alternative of having a low. We all know what can happen there. So I have to be a little comfortable being high going into the ring. I might get a little more tired at the time, but I can manage that. As soon as I come back through the curtain, I take insulin."
#aew#throwback#diabetes awareness#kyle o'reilly#the conglomeration#interesting#today i learned#pro wrestling#inspration
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i dont know if you are still doing these but!! id love a kiss on the hip for kandrew :) <3
Kevin Day is not a virgin. He understands sex and most of its mechanics. He's slept with a few people in his life, he's also sampled plenty of porn genres.
But none of that compares to this. To having Andrew's full and complete attention. To having Andrew on his back in his bedroom in Columbia. He's not quite sure how they ended up here. Of course, he understands the logistics of getting to Columbia from Palmetto State.
He knows the route they always take, he knows the right exit, he knows how to find Nicky's house.
How he got to this point he's not sure.
All he knows is Andrew and Neil were planning to come here this weekend for a bit of alone time. Just the two of them, no one else to bother them. That's what Kevin thought at least. Until Neil knocked his shoulder into Kevin's side at practice earlier and told him to pack a bag. When Kevin asked why, Neil merely shrugged. "Andrew said to."
Andrew said to. So Kevin did.
Kevin always does what Andrew says. That's how the three of them happened. Six months ago Andrew told Kevin that Neil wanted to kiss him, Kevin kissed him. Andrew watched them make out then announced that he wanted to kiss Kevin, Kevin kissed him.
And now here they all are, spread across Andrew's bed. Neil is sitting cross-legged against the headboard, wearing only his boxers and a tank top. Kevin has been stripped down to his shorts. And Andrew is fully clothed, except for the jacket he shed upon coming into the house, with his head on Neil's thigh. Kevin is hovering over Andrew, not touching him anywhere below the waist. Never touching him below the waist. Never touching him anywhere Andrew doesn't want him to.
"What am I doing now?" Kevin finally asks. Andrew had pulled Kevin over top of him like this a couple minutes ago and Kevin's been sort of frozen since. Because he's not a virgin, but Andrew makes him feel like one. A pair of hazel eyes stares up at him, seemingly bored. The flush on Andrew's cheeks is the only thing that gives him away.
"Whatever you want."
"That's not how it works—"
"It is now. You've graduated, Day. Touch me," Andrew commands. Kevin's hands twitch against the mattress, but he doesn't move them. Not yet.
"Where?"
"Anywhere." Andrew says, the want in his voice making Kevin's breathing catch. It takes a moment for him to process the word. And when he does, he throws himself off the bed. Andrew just stares after him. "Where are you going?"
Kevin sputters and puts his hands in the air. "You can't just change the rules on me like this."
"What rules?" Neil asks.
"The—" Kevin can't believe the question. "Oh, goddamn it, Neil. You know exactly what I'm talking about! I can't go from nothing to something to everything. Not like this. You have to tell me, Andrew. I don't know what—"
"I just told you what." Andrew says, sitting up a bit to look at him. "Anywhere, anything."
Kevin shakes his head. "No."
"No?"
"I don't want to fuck this up."
"You can't fuck it up."
"But—"
"No buts," Andrew interrupts. Kevin's gaze flicks from Andrew's to Neil's, back and forth. Andrew sighs. "Get the fuck over here, Kevin."
Kevin always does what Andrew says.
He moves to settle back over Andrew, propped up on his hands and knees. Andrew reaches for him and grabs the back of Kevin's neck, pulling him down into a kiss. Kevin gasps against his mouth and hears Neil make an appreciative sound, a little hum of a noise, above them. Suddenly there's a hand pushing into Kevin's hair and he knows it's Neil's. Kevin opens his eyes and looks up to meet Neil's eyes. The idiot smiles down at them and Andrew's eyes are closed, his mouth is hot, and... Kevin groans when Andrew fucks his tongue into his mouth.
Kevin moves to slip one hand under Andrew's head and lowers himself onto him, making Andrew exhale against his mouth. They're both half hard, Kevin ruts his hips against Andrew. An experiment that gets a grunt and a nip to his bottom lip.
"Good?" Kevin asks after pulling away a bit.
"Yes. Keep going."
"I want to take your shirt off." Kevin admits. Andrew's expression barely changes, but it does.
"Then do it." Andrew challenges, letting go of Kevin's neck. It takes both of them but Kevin gets the shirt off and drops it beside them. After thinking about it for half a second, he lightly skims a hand up Andrew's side making him shiver. He thinks it's a good sign, but then Neil's leaning in close to his head.
"Firmer, Kev." He whispers.
A hint. A clue from someone who's got years of experience on him. Kevin grabs it and a handful of Andrew's chest, taking Andrew by surprise.
"Really? Groping me, Day?"
"You said anything, didn't you?" Kevin squeezes Andrew's chest and thumbs at his nipple until it's peaked. Then he dips his head back down to press kisses to Andrew's neck. He knows Andrew likes that. It's safe, familiar, good for both of them. Andrew turns his head to the side, likely so he can look at Neil, but Kevin nips his pulse point and Andrew hisses a breath before grabbing him by the nape again and pulling him up like a mother cat does a kitten.
"Do you want me to stop?"
Andrew blinks at him like he's slow. "No. I want you to get on with it."
"You said anything I wanted." Kevin reminds him. "Or are you taking it back?"
"I'm not taking it back."
"Then let me take my time. Want to make you feel good." Kevin returns to Andrew's neck and Andrew's nails scrape against his back. Kevin assumes in appreciation. He nibbles at Andrew's throat until the goalie's breathing is labored, then finally comes up for air. "Can I bite you?"
There's a little spark in Andrew's eyes. Kevin wants to turn it into flame. After a moment, Andrew says 'yes, anything, do you understand the meaning of the word?' and Kevin shuts him up with teeth in the side of Andrew's neck. He sucks a mark there, one that'll bloom purple pedals, then does it again. Again.
He hears a sharp inhale to the side and glances over to see Neil palm himself through his underwear. Andrew tilts his head back to look at Neil and rolls his eyes.
"How am I not surprised your neck fetish extends to just watching."
At this point in their relationship, or whatever the fuck this is, Kevin thinks Neil has an Andrew fetish. He doesn't say so.
"Keep going." Neil tells him, almost as affected as Andrew. Kevin obliges, kissing and sucking his way down until he's nearing the waistband of Andrew's jeans. He stops there and raises his head to find Andrew glaring at him.
"Neil," Andrew says. "I think we need to get him an English tutor."
That makes Neil laugh and Kevin rolls his eyes, pinches the inside of Neil's thigh. "You can't fault me for wanting to be sure."
"I can and I will. Keep going or get out."
"Alright then. Instead of asking I'll just tell you. I'm going to take your pants off and then I'm going to blow your mind." Kevin decides, suddenly confident despite only giving a few blowjobs in his life. His decree has Andrew's brows raising.
"That so?"
"Yes." Kevin says firmly, making Neil's lips quirk. He eyes Neil for a moment. "Questions, comments, concerns?"
"None. Go." Neil tells him. So Kevin does. He scoots back and makes quick work of Andrew's remaining clothes, save his armbands. He's never seen what lies beneath them and he doesn't want to, because he has a theory and he doesn't want to test it.
Once Andrew's laid almost bare beneath him, Kevin stares. For a lot longer than he'll ever admit. Finally he dips his head and is thrown off course when he notices a freckle he'd never seen before. He detours past Andrew's cock and presses his lips to his hipbone instead. It's a barely-there thing, just a peck. But it makes Neil inhale sharply.
Kevin looks up at him. "What?"
Andrew's eyes flick up to Neil's, then he rolls them. "He's sentimental."
Kevin isn't sure what that means and it must be obvious from the look on his face. Andrew just shakes his head. "This is not a Q&A, get back to what you were doing."
#neil's also there sorry anon... i can't help it. i'm gay. and kevin needs a little guidance okay#also sorry for cutting it before the Good part but i think this is fine : )#LOLLLLLLLLLLLL this is an old ask anon i hope you somehow see this anyway<333#(ask dated march 3)#kandreil#kandrew#answered#ask games#my writing#long post
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Hey there my sweetest, beloved Vexi ♡
I just wanted to share something personal with you that you can then share with others because I know that they feel the same.
Writing has always been my passion. It's been the one thing that has kept me afloat in my life. Regardless of whether people love my writing or hate it, I would continue for the sake of continuing because it is my life.
But when I rejoined fandom spaces, I was terrified after hearing stories of how the culture had changed significantly. Interaction is lower, and hate has unfortunately always made its home in these communities. Given I share fanfiction solely to share with the aforementioned communities, I found myself afraid that I would get hate messages. I was afraid I wouldn't have a community that would stand up for me if that were to happen. While it would never deter me from what I love, I was scared that friendships and positivity were long dead in this space. Fandom felt lonely.
You know what though? I have met wonderful person after wonderful person. And then I met you too. There you are, getting some of the most horrendous messages I've ever seen sent to another human being, and you continue to push for positivity - smiling and laughing with us about how much you just want to see people happy.
Then you went on to start share some of the wonderful messages you recieved throughout that ordeal, only to begin writing positive affirmations and thoughts for us. Once upon a time, I struggled to accept this sort of positivity, I will admit that. When I was having a rough time, I would often see messages like that as 'hollow' for a lack of better words. I would be angry or bitter that others could think like that when I struggled so much to feel like those words should have meant something to me.
While time has passed since I was that person, I still remember the feeling of hopelessness, yet that doesn't deter from the fact that people like you - and countless others - single handedly restored my faith in these communities.
People like you remind me why I cling to my ideals of treating everyone with kindness no matter what. To try to understand other people. To help others. These are all things that bring us closer together. People like you, @silva-daemonium, @fraugwinska, @macabr3-barbi3, @chrisemrysfics, @melodyonthewireless, @dewdropdinosaur, @xalygatorx, @kewpikayo, @jurijyuu, @jalicecookie, AND SO MANY MORE do so much to support those around you.
All of this came about because I wanted to say thank you for posting those short little messages of encouragment. I know that I have appreciated them. Sure, they might seem a little cheesy to me on a morning when I'm tired - but they really make me smile, and prepare me to tackle whatever the day gives.
You're the beating heart of positivity.
It's a fairytale ending to the horror stories I expected.
I know that other people will see this too, so I just wanted to wish everyone that sees this a relaxing morning, afternoon, evening - timezone in general! You're here, and you've worked hard to be here all this time. Everything you've needed to do to achieve that, you've done. That's huge. I'm so proud of everyone, and my DMs are always open to anyone who might be struggling or just wants to talk. I'll always aim to help my community in the same way that Vexi has demonstrated.
Love to you all, and again, thank you for your messages, Vexi!
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Cirice, I honestly don’t have the words to fully capture how much your kindness means to me. You are truly one of the most thoughtful, beautiful souls I’ve ever had the honor to meet, and I can’t thank you enough for your words. Knowing that something I’ve done has made even a small impact on people like you is still so surreal to me. I’m just deeply grateful that you’re part of this community.
You and so many others are the reason why I’ve stayed here longer than in any other fandom. It’s been the most heartwarming experience. This community, especially people like you, has genuinely transformed my perspective on what fandoms can be: a space filled with compassion, creativity, and connection.
Thank you for sharing your story, for giving me (and others) a piece of your heart. I hope your words reach others, inspiring them to create, to feel they belong, and to understand how wonderful it is to be part of something like this. Knowing we’re all here together, finding meaning in these connections, it makes the world feel a little less lonely and a lot brighter. 💖
Also tagging the people that didn't get properly tagged because tumblr is broken: @dewdropdinosaur @xalygatorx @kewpikayo @jurijyuu @jailcecookie
#redvexillum answers#positivity#i love this so much#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fandom#pp#poisonpositivity inside joke#i love you cirice#Vexi throws love punches
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I'll Be There ||k.sj||
Description: your family may have forgotten your birthday, but goddammit Jin refuses to let it ruin your day.
Genre: Short drabble, idol!Jin x f!reader, established relationship, hurt/comfort, found family, fluff.
Warnings: feeling of being an afterthought, feeling of being forgotten
Word Count: 2k+
A/N: It was my birthday yesterday :)
There was absolutely no way right? I mean they'd been talking to you all day, they even called you yesterday and talked about how your birthday was today.
You should've known, the first red flag should've been that your own sisters forgot your birthday and how old you were turning. This had never really happened to you before, they had always been so good about your birthday just like you always were about theirs, so why was this year different? You had moved to Korea a long time ago, over 10 years ago actually, and even your extended family back home had messaged you and made sure you felt loved today of all days. At least, even if the worst were to happen, you still had Jin.
You'd met Jin, ironically, on the same bus he'd been scouted out for BigHit's audition, and you'd been together ever since. Your relationship had had its fair share of obstacles, trials and tribulations, but you were happy together, and he made sure that you were. When Jin enlisted, just like he had with ARMY, he'd prepared little videos and notes for you to open during the times you couldn't see each other. Those typical letters that said open when you're sad, open when you miss me, and so on.
When he came back he made damn sure that you were the first person he'd spend his time off with after he was done with all his schedules, because Jin was a workaholic, even if he'd never admit it, and he couldn't stand being out first and not seeing his fans right away. You had front row seats to his event, letting the hug be just for ARMY as you knew they'd missed him, and after it was all done, you came home to your shared apartment and shared beautiful moments together whilst he was off.
Today, he'd planned an entire day for you, which basically consisted of mostly chilling together like you both loved doing, taking you out to your favorite restaurant and then singing happy birthday along with your family, even if it was over FaceTime since they'd moved away from Seoul to Busan few years back when your parents got better jobs.
“Alright mom, I'll talk to you guys when we get back!” You said enthusiastically toward your phone as you spoke to the older woman, Jin had a smile on his face as you walked toward him after hanging up.
“Ready my love?” He asked as he grabbed onto your waist and you placed your hands on his chest.
“Yes,” you gave him a quick peck and a smile.
Jin had arranged for Yoongi to drop off the cake he'd had made for you whilst you were out. He took you to a small hole in the wall restaurant you guys had found after you'd moved to this part of Seoul, the food was great and you always loved how they gave you the perfect fries to burger ratio.
“Have I done good so far, my love?” He asked after he pulled a chair out for you to sit.
“You've done great Jinnie, you always have,” you smiled softly.
“I promise next year when everything isn't crazy and full of comebacks we'll go to your parents' for your birthday,” he reached for your hand on top of the table, caressing your knuckles with his thumb, “or we can fly them out here!” He suggested.
You hoped Jin understood how much everything he did for you today, and everyday, meant to you; he'd always had that knack for making you feel loved in the most thoughtful ways, even in the most silly ways too! Just like his dad jokes he had the cheesiest pick up lines, and they always cheered you up when you were having a bad day. You remembered a few years back, when you were giving yourself a really hard time at work and you came home upset, he'd said all kinds of ridiculous things in every language you both knew. It was safe to say, you were laughing hysterically after some time.
This time, however, Jin worried that might not be enough. When you came home for dinner you were so happy to see your favorite cake waiting for you on the kitchen island along with two cards, one from Jin and one from the rest of the guys, which had all but adopted you into their little family soon after Jin introduced you to them all those years ago, it was very touching to see it and to read it.
“I'm going to call my mom so they can sing happy birthday with us!” You said excitedly as you pulled out your phone. This had been a tradition ever since they'd moved away from Seoul, because had you been back home they would've thrown you a little party…at least you hoped so. Ever since they'd moved away you'd felt a little alienated, you were often the last to know about things that you wouldn't usually be, all shielded by the excuse ‘if you called more.’
Jin got the candles for your cake ready when the first call didn't go through, you made a joke out of it at first, giving the call another try. He tried lighting the candles when you stopped him “we have to wait until they answer,” your smile was slowly fading by then. You texted your mom and then tried FaceTiming her again, and she didn't answer, you felt your heart shatter and little.
“It's okay, they might have to work tomorrow, plus we've been talking all day and all,” you chuckled, “we'll record it for them! That way they won't feel left out,” it was less of a suggestion and more of a thing you immediately got ready for, pulling out your phone in front of the cake and getting the camera angle just right.
“Are you ready, my love?” He asked, looking at you with the softest, most loving look. You didn't speak simply nodding as you hit record and he lit the candles.
“1, 2, 3…” you started clapping, singing the typical birthday song for your home country, you had been fine at first, singing happily and then your voice started breaking, you tried clearing your throat to continue but Jin didn't miss this.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, but you just kept singing, your voice broke again until it was barely a whisper so he paused the recording.
“What's wrong? We can stop if you want love, we don't have to-” he tried holding your face but you put your hands up taking a few deep breaths.
“We have to finish, I'm fine,” you said, your voice thick with the lump in your throat.
You were heartbroken, but you wouldn't be able to send this to them if you broke down on video. You were so confused, you had talked all day, and every year, even if you had talked all day, no matter if it was 5pm or 9pm they'd be there to sing happy birthday before, why was it so different now? Did you do something wrong? You thought all your issues and disagreements have been talked out enough, was it not enough for them? You remembered how earlier your dad had called you, how he said he'd been crying because he missed you and he wished he was with you. Your relationship hadn't always been the best but you thought it was better now, you thought you had gotten over your issues.
These were all thoughts that ran through your mind as you finished the song, going on to sing happy birthday in your native language and Korean, Jin hated seeing you so heartbroken, he hated the tears that came down your face. He wrapped his arms around your waist, hugging you from behind as he finished the song for you, since your voice was again barely above a whisper. The number candles had melted apart as you blew on them, the tears now escaping without you being able to stop.
Jin hated this, this was meant to be your day, you were supposed feel loved and happy and excited, hell, all of them had been back and were working on their newest comeback and he managed to plan a sweet day, the guys had all texted or called you, but your parents couldn't bother to answer your call for a simple birthday call?
“Why don't you try texting your dad hmm?” He tried suggesting as he pulled you in for a hug. “No, they're probably asleep it's fine,” you argued as you picked out the pieces of candles that had fallen apart.
“I'll call them then!” he retorded.
“No! It's fine, can we just sit on the couch and cuddle please?” You pleaded as you moved to the living room, he followed close behind, as he saw you start to break down again. He sighed, and sat next to you, pulling you into his chest as you cried, holding onto his shirt tightly. He hated this for you, especially today, he'd ve damned if he let your day be ruined by this. After you'd stopped crying he stepped aside and texted his group chat with his members:
911, I need you all at my place yesterday, no ifs ands or buts.
It took less than 30 minutes for them to get there, all in comfy clothes as if they had been about to go to bed, “hyung what's wrong?” Jungkook asked first yawning and stretching as Jin led them into the apartment.
“Yn’s parents didn't answer her call for them to sing happy birthday,” he spoke quietly and sighed, hearing your sniffles coming from the living room. His dongsaengs looked confused at first, before remembering all the days after your birthday where he vowed to learn your home country's birthday song for you one day.
“Are you serious?” Jimin whisper-yelled. It was followed by a chorus of how could they do that and is Yn noona okay?
He simply walked over to you, now they were all much more awake. “My love? The guys are here! I was thinking we could all eat cake together, hmm?” He sat next to you, caressing your head. You looked up and saw all of them, various levels of concern and sadness in their eyes. You felt your eyes water again as you stood up, pulling Jin up with as you pulled the rest of them in for a hug.
“Oh, Ynie,” Yoongi spoke, “we're all here for you! We're your family too!”
“Yeah, you always have us and Jin hyung for support,” Taehyung said next, you felt his hand patting the top of your head and you chuckled weakly.
You pulled away, seeing them all there and smiled, happy that you had them, that you had Jin and that you weren't as alone as you felt. “Thank you guys,” you sniffled, “do you want some cake?” You asked with a smile and immediately all six ran to your kitchen, a mix of reactions, most noticeable being Namjoon's and Hobi's as they agreed that they should cut the biggest piece for you. You were happy to know that even if you felt as an after thought for others, you'd never be an after thought for them, and especially not for Jin.
You turned back to Jin, who immediately cupped your face with his hands, using his thumbs to wipe your tears. “Thank you for today love,” you smiled softly, holding onto the sides of his shirt, “I'm sorry for being an cry baby.”
“Hey!” He got closer to you, “you are not a cry baby, you deserve only the best for your birthday and everyday of our lives, and I will make sure you get it no matter what,” he assured you. You simply nodded and got on your tippy toes to kiss him, it was chaste and sweet, not lasting too long since Jungkook was calling for you to come get your piece.
As you walked off, Jin received an email notification, letting him know that the most important birthday gift he'd been planning for you was ready, the ring you'd designed yourself.
And he couldn't wait to put it on your finger soon.
#bts fanfic#bts#bts au#seokjin au#seokjin x reader#seokjin fanfic#kim seokjin#seokjin fluff#bts jin#bts fluff#bts fic
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Shameless
Warning ⚠️; internalized homophobia, Homelander is his own warning, toxic relationship, abusive relationship, fluff. 🔞
Pairing; Bottom!Homelander/Top!Male!Reader
Summary; John and you are two opposites. He is a comedian and a liar, you are bluntly honest and direct. He cares about his image, you don't. He is ashamed of your relationship while you are shameless.
~~~~~~~~~~~
You sat on the sofa sipping at your drink, eyes staring at John with amusement. Still in his costume, your lover walked in circle while biting his nail. He looked ridiculous in your eyes. All those fake muscles and the cape were too much. He looked always better naked, natural, and not so fake.
- “You are going to get yourself dizzy, my love. Just get out of those ridiculous clothes and come sit with me.” You said, waving your hand to show his costume. “We have so little time together, I would prefer having you by my side than whatever you are doing right now.”
John stared at you, eyes glowing red and you just laughed at him. You weren't scared, never was, because John couldn't kill you. No one could. It was part of your power, your curse, but in a moment like this, it was a blessing. Watching your lover get worked up for nothing was funny.
- “How can you laugh in such a situation?” John asked, voice hissing at you as you rolled your eyes. “Its a disaster! I cannot be seen like… like…”
- “Like the man you truly are?” You finished his sentence, sighing. “John, no one cares about that picture. Everyone will call it fake and those who don't, well who cares? Just discredit them and forget about it.”
John said nothing and looked away, his eyes back to normal. You shook your head as he kept walking around the room, trying to find a solution. You didn't understand him. Why come to you when you couldn't help when you were the source of this situation? Well, you weren't fully responsible. It wasn't you who had decided to kiss on a rooftop where anyone could see, that had been John.
And now there was a picture of you two kissing, your hands squeezing Homelander’s ass, circulating around the internet. It was, for you, hilarious. For John? The end of the world was happening.
- “Can't you stop being overly dramatic for five minutes?” You asked, harsher than you wanted.
You gasped in surprise as the back of your head hit the floor, hard, making you see stars. John had pined you down after knocking over the sofa and sat on you. You shivered, licking your lips as you plunged your gaze into his glowing one.
- “And can't you take it seriously for once? Don't you realize how serious the situation is for me? I am supposed to be perfect with no weaknesses and I can not be seen like that with another man.” John spat, his hand grabbing your chin painfully tight.
- “But you are not perfect John and you'll never be!” You replied with a sneer.
It was the wrong answer because next thing you knew John punched you and pain exploded in your jaw. Blood splashed all over your lover and you as your jaw hit the wall and fell onto the ground. From anger, John expression turned to horror as he realized what he had done. From amused, you became enraged.
You didn't gave John any chance and kicked him in the chest, sending the sup flying against the ceiling. You watched your lover fall loudly on the ground as you got up, spilling blood all over the place. You closed your eyes, pain swallowing you up as nerves, bones and everything else slowly regrew. Tears slowly rolled down your cheeks as you felt like your lower jaw was burning in the fiery pits of Hell.
You heard John begging, swearing he didn't mean to hurt you like that and you didn't care. What mattered was how he still did it.
You opened your eyes staring angrily at the hero still lying on the ground. You walked up to him and saw John tensing and closing on himself before you grabbed the man by the collar. Without a word, you back-slapped like he was a bitch, splitting open his lip before grabbing his jaw like he did to you. You leaned down until your nose brushed his.
- “Listen here you pathetic excuse of a man; you are nothing. You are not a hero, you are not perfect and you are not an inspiration. The only thing you are is a childish man who can't take no for an answer and can't live without the approval of the world.” Your words hit home as you saw tears building up in John’s eyes and you sneered again. “You are pathetic. Truly pathetic. The world loves the fake image of you and would turn on you at the first opportunity. Their love is conditional unlike mine and yet you chose those worms over me. I who had always been here for you no matter what. I who helped you bond with your bastard son and helped you when no one wanted to. I bloodied my hands for you! And after everything that how you thank me?”
Venom filled your words as you stared at your lover. John was silently crying and looked away, not daring to look at you. You felt betrayed, and humiliated. You did so much for that man child and he turned against you so easily. You didn't want to see him anymore, wanted him gone from your sight.
- “Think about it John. Who will take care of you when you are old and your body is betraying you? Who will be there for you when the world cheer for a younger and more attractive hero? Them? Your so-called fans? No. They won't, but I would have.” You said, turning your back to him as you walked away. “Now get out.”
- “I’m sorry! I didn't…” John tried but stopped as you turned your head, eyes filled with anger.
- “GET OUT.” You snarled.
And just like that John was gone. A soft breeze caressed your face after he flew away. Sighing, you cleaned the room and threw away your jaw. The pain still lingered and you massaged your chin before sighing. You hated fighting with John like that, but recently it was every other day. The more time passed the more he became unhinged and impulsive. You could barely recognize the man who sought love and attention, the man who melted under your hands at night seemed gone.
It was late that night when John came back. He didn't call, didn't text. He just showed up. You were in bed reading a book in the light of a candle when you heard your front door opening. Only John had a spare so you knew it was him.
He didn't come up directly and you ignored him. You were still angry at his stunt and, frankly, didn't wish to see him. Not right now, not tomorrow. But there he was, walking into your home as if it was his.
After a few minutes, you heard John walking up the stairs and coming toward your room. You didn't look up when he entered nor when he called your name with a timid and soft voice. Instead you clenched your book harder.
- “I thought I told you to get the fuck out of my house, John. What are you doing here?” You asked, voice cold as you turned the page of your book.
Your lover didn't answer. Instead, John approached the bed and put down a mix of things; a gift basket filled with your favorite snacks and drinks and another full of books. Sighing, you closed your book and turned your attention on John.
There he stood in civilian clothes and his head low. His eyes were still red and puffy from crying. Had you not been angry at him you would have hugged John. But you were still pissed off.
- “I am so sorry for what I did and said.” John whispered, looking away as he sat on the edge of the mattress. “I have no excuses and you are right. You've always been there for me and you didn't deserve any of this, but I did.”
You could see tears in his eyes and the sight was almost pitiful. Of course, John couldn't live up with what he did and would regret his actions. You didn't. The brat had deserved your words and hands.
- “I don't want… I can not lose you…” John whispered so low that you barely heard it.
You sighed and leaned back against your pillows, crossing your arms and studying him. John was clearly remorseful and you knew he had his lesson, for now at least. Shaking your head you gently tapped the mattress next to you and John didn't wait to lay down. He wrapped his arms around you and nuzzled his face against your chest. You brushed his blond hair with your fingers, heart almost getting softer as you saw how happy he was now.
- “You are losing me, John. I don't know what the fuck is going on with you, but stop it. I don't have the patience to deal with your childish tantrum just because a picture of us leaked on the internet. We are celebrities, it's going to keep happening.” You said and your lover held you tighter. “Hush now. I forgive you this time, but I might not give you another chance.”
John nodded and didn't let go. You kept brushing his hair and let your fingers down his neck. He was cold, colder than normal and you could feel his heartbeat racing. He was scared and terrified which pleased you. Maybe he wouldn't go against you anymore, maybe he would stop thinking he could do as he wished.
After all, he was your pet, yours to use as you wished and you couldn't have a bad dog by your side. As much as you loved John, you didn't want him if he was to lose his mind and become a liability. But at that moment he looked so small and delicate in your arms, almost broken and you couldn't resist him.
You smiled as you felt his body relax against you as he slowly fell asleep. Maybe you could use his fear and remorse against him. Maybe you could force him to come clean about your relationship. Not now, the fight was still too fresh but soon enough he might give in. And once you were out to the world, John would truly be yours entirely.
#male reader#x male reader#x reader#fanfic#reader#the boys#the boys x reader#the boys x male reader#homelander#homelander x reader#homelander x male reader#writers#writeblr#writers on tumblr#short fanfic
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"That other unnamed Grimmjow/Ichigo (Bleach) fic," is actually a fic in which I skimmed so many of the omegaverse fics (which, can confirm, I still don't enjoy) and a bunch of the mating cycles/in heat fics and decided I too could write about the hollow urge to bone.
It's a fic about how Ichigo experiences a fairly minor change in his libido relating to the awakening of his inner hollow and, because he is a teenager, responds like the world is ending.
My draft is a draft and subject to change, but this is the vibe:
"Like a cow?" is the first thing Ichigo thinks to say, puffed up in indignation. It's not Ichigo's fault, really. He remembers, very vaguely, a life sciences class from when he was fifteen. Everyone picked an animal about which to research the life cycle. Ichigo, naturally, had been late — important shinigami business, naturally — and the only approved animal left had been domestic cattle. That was the last time he heard the word "oestrus." It has been living on the back shelf of his brain ever since. It's definitely not a term he expects to hear used about himself! Urahara blinks at him from over his fan. He opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again. "Not... exactly," he says. Ichigo gets the sense that he has, for once, surprised him. "Many mammals experience oestrus cycles, Kurosaki-kun. Humans are actually in the minori—" "Urahara-san... Is this some kind of bad joke?" Ichigo can't imagine otherwise, but he also can't figure out why this is the joke Urahara is telling. His sense of humour usually runs high to pervy shit, but it's usually aimed at pretty young girls, not... "You're telling me everyone with an inner hollow is going around in — in season?" Like a farm animal? "Ah. No." Urahara tilts his head so that the shine of one eye peeks out from under the shadow of his hat. "This kind of thing... it's hollow biology. It's not something that affects vizards. I've never seen it on paper before and I've never studied its effects." "If it doesn't happen to vizards, why would it happen to me?" Ichigo demands. Urahara tucks one hand behind his head and titters an obnoxious little laugh, because he's clearly not taking this anywhere near as seriously as Ichigo wishes he would. "You're unique! It's hard to predict these things with your hybrid biology, you know. But as far as I know, there's no reason to suspect it will make you do anything you don't already want to. You'll probably find yourself shorter tempered and more restless, and what you want in a partner may change for the duration." His smile gets a smidge wider. "This is a confusing time of any young man's life, Kurosaki-kun, but you shouldn't worry if you have any... new urges." New urges. New urges. Like he's twelve and just discovering his dick can get hard at inopportune times? He surfaces from his mortification for long enough to scrunch up his face. "That doesn't make any sense," Ichigo protests. "I can't be... doing that. For one, I'm a man." Urahara snaps his fan open just to use it to gesture dramatically, like if he pulls off a flashy enough act Ichigo will somehow resist the temptation to smack him in the face with it. Ichigo will not resist that temptation. "Ah, but these measurements suggest otherwise, Kurosaki-kun. It's not really dependent on sex for hollows, either... they don't reproduce sexually. Besides! Who knows, perhaps there's a lonely hollow love out there just waiting for you to imprint on he — Oof! Ouch!" Ichigo tosses the lightly bloodied fan onto the desk, turns on his heel and stalks towards the shop's entrance. Chad blinks up from his intense staring competition with Jinta, but whatever he sees in Ichigo's face is enough to prevent him from following him. "Aya... my own fan," sighs Urahara behind him. Then he raises his voice, so that what follows Ichigo out into the rainy Kurakara afternoon is: "It's important to keep an open mind, Kurosaki!" "Pass!" Ichigo bellows back.
Anyway I'm going to ruin his life. For fun! :)
Okay, here's what's going on right now:
I was going to name the Ishida/Szayel (Bleach) fic "The Way To The Top" but despite the subject matter it has turned out way less comedic than I thought it would be, so I may have to rename it. Regardless, it's currently 18,000 words long and still somehow going.
The latest Maddieverse fic (Naruto) is "Where The Heart Is" and it's currently 22,000 words long. I am more or less still following the outline and have not run into any sudden debilitating snags. It continues.
That other unnamed Grimmjow/Ichigo (Bleach) fic is 3,000 words long so far. It's intended to be a one shot, but it feels like it's only about 30% done. I don't think I signed up for a 10k word fic but what the hell do I know.
I've also written 2,500 words of a prompt fic in which Maddie meets Sakura but I haven't ended it properly yet. But that also exists, I guess?
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Someone killed my boss last night and he sent me this I'm so fired
god I can't wait to make this comic.
#not me making a prelaunch link so I can share it on art of them that I do and then immediately being like hm#feels kind of weird to link a comic that doesnt exist yet#HAHAHAHAH#theres just no pleasing me#oh well I'll stick to my guns. I thought about it a long time#and doing things that feel weird is kind of the name of the game when it comes to making art#we were legion#zagan#this is so funny to me#its like not even that funny but#I love him. idk I think because I know what the comic is gonna be like stuff like this is 1 million times funnier to me#he sucks so bad and it would suck to read if he were the only one in the comic but because luciel is also there#then its just funny. cause juxtaposition#I love luciel too but theyre less good for standalone drawings and memes without comic context#so my brains like erm... theres nothing there....#also my tags are bugging out when I type them on the ocmputer idk how to explain whats happening but its kind of annoying#jumping around all over the place. makes it hard to read while I'm typing them. its fine#if theres typos its cause somethings going weird with my computer#lately when I've opened firefox its just shaking all over the place#til I alt tab out of it and back to it. I have straight up no idea why#and my internet has been bugging out. the LAN connection keeps flickering and then going out...??#YES I switched the ethernet cable connecting the modem and the router NO I dont know whats going on#I dont wanna deaaaaaal wiiiithhh customer serviceeee its fine. I'll do it later if switching the coax cable doesnt help#uh. anyways none of that matters cause I can still make my fuckin comics babeyyy#as long as I've got my comics. I'm good. though it is annoying when I cant look up references or spelling of words cause I do that constant#but its fine!#love I can draw without internet I dont even notice when it goes out sometimes aughajkghagj#anyways I'm super excited about this comic and if you're intereted theres a presave link now so#yeay#I'll post places other than webtoon but I'm just doing webtoon early so TTA readers can switch over easier
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into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.
the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the other.
for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.
the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.
but they were never whole to begin with, were they?
qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.
olly says nothing.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new.#*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground*#someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything#maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory#and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey#and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all#and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them.#the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao#idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲#i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore#so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol#and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to#and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them.#i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly#but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.
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i think it took us so long to realize we have depression because we always attributed everything to our dissociation
#it was hard to tell.#not upset with us or logan or anything but it kind of make us sad#i know we not very open woth anyone irl but it feel like someone should have helped us.#we mentioned upping med dosage to the mom and she was shocked we were not doing well#we are never really doing well. just relative to usual mood#feels like the world moves around us#we fantasize about bad things happen to us a lot. even though know not normal#cant bring ourself to bring it up with any of our doctor#we dont think we will relapse so it is probably ok. besides have roommate#going try to sleep now. or stay up a bit i dont know#sunny and moondrop help me last night#its nice. havent bwen able talk to them for a while#but also havent had young fronter in while.....#good night#goose.txt
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want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#actually i dont mean bald i just mean all one guard length#but hhhhh maybe i'm in an awkard stage maybe not i just CANNOT live like this#middle part is frustrating because it's not perfect in the way it sits side part is frustrating because i look like a girl#i feel like i could go all in with the 4 and then sorta texture a bit with the 2 guard HOWEVER having used the 4 previously. i know#how short that is. it might not look good so i worry#the bright side is it would grow out a bit by the time of the parade but augh i hate this#i'm currently a tightly wound ball of rage sorry. i didn't eat much of anything 2day#tried to call the hospital to get help with the letter/consulation thing preceding top surgery and they were NOT OPEN so idk if they will#be open tomorrow or not. the passage of time has gotten very vague all of a sudden#iiiiiii do not think i am doing well. lol. idk why though! god forbid any of it have a reason#i almost wish i'd relapse just so i could like. eat food again#idk i don't think it would solve it but i feel in my heart it might make things easier#buuuut because relapse is Bad For Me i guess i have to avoid it. well i want to anyways.#one bad day would not a reset make but my previous day happened this year already so...#i dunno it's been so long that i feel like it's not valid or whatever cause it was at an age where i can say it was a 'phase'#.............. i dunno what to do with that information. anyways.#i mean so what if i went all in on it again anyways? i kinda miss it lol. it's not like i could do any serious harm??#(potential infections aside.)#i just want to be creative and i CANT because my stupid brain will NOT think of anything#and the majority of what i have concretely written of this was written... get this .... right when i was trying to stay clean at first#correlation does not equal causation ........ sighs#i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle because i WANT IT to be that bad again#i've never really regretted it & it's never really been because of anything#i just started because i was curious about why someone would do that. that's all#i dont think i've EVER had any of the mental distress i see people in when theyre in these spaces#in one journal entry i made this big deal about wanting to kill myself but *i didn't want to*. i never did.#like sorry old me but it is REALLY hard to believe i've ever been depressed depressed#i just want things to be better and they never are :/ this should be everything i wanted and its just ... not#i'm not really sure how to ....... oh tag limit ok hold on
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Re-tag drop: Yelan
#yelan: ic. [ that's a worst-case scenario. but all too often; the most pessimistic speculation turns out to be the closest to the truth. ]#yelan: inquiries. [ oh? you'd like to know more about me? what will you give in exchange then? ]#yelan: countenance. [ an old friend of mine once privately commented to me that yelan “is always smiling; but never with her eyes.” ]#yelan: introspection. [ like a phantom she appears in various guises at the center of events; and disappears before the storm stops. ]#yelan: meta. [ the chances are if i open this door; there can be no witnesses left alive. is that a sufficient reason for you? ]#yelan: little notes. [ how can things ever be the same again: knowing your life was saved when others weren't? salvation can be a burden. ]#yelan: wishes. [ that which hides inside her… that constant calling; it is the blood of heroes which has been howling for 500 years. ]#yelan: etc. [ every round of finger-guessing is a tiny adventure; and every roll of dice sends sporadic thrills down her spine. ]#yelan: home. [ i'm guessing you've fallen for the rumors about me being very wealthy; having high demands for my standards of living? ]#yelan: yanshang. [ the teahouse has really brightened up after the boss took over and kicked the fatui and gamblers out. ]#yelan: lantern rite. [ every year on this day; the lanterns light up the night. may the fire never die and may humanity endure. ]#yelan: chasm. [ perhaps she will plunge into that darkness one day; and the ill fate that once befell her ancestors shall find her too. ]#yelan: scope. [ i serve ningguang. the tianquan of the qixing. the scope of my work includes some of liyue's biggest secrets. ]#yelan: weaponry. [ water. divided it is as streams uncounted: close yet untangled. united it is as a giant wave: inexorable; unstoppable. ]#yelan: uncle tian. [ there's nothing wrong with wanting to win other people's respect. but when has uncle tian looked down on anyone? ]#yelan: ningguang. [ we both made a mistake: we shouldn't have involved ordinary folk in what we do. / ordinary folk? ]#yelan: xiao. [ you think you're oh-so cold and ruthless. i'm not buying it. - losing one of us so the rest can escape? some victory that is#yelan: keqing. [ if something happens that they didn't anticipate; it throws their plans into oblivion. but the yuheng is different. ]#yelan: ganyu. [ i could never work non-stop like she does. certainly not at that level of efficiency. i guess being half-adeptus has its pe#yelan: yanfei. [ when i help her out; i always get some invaluable leads in return. gotta say though: i think she respects me a little much#yelan: traveler. [ you don't have to be on guard around me. i never scheme against people who have my stamp of approval. ]#yelan: v youth. [ you're still young. be patient. believe in yourself; and don't look outside yourself to prove your value. ]#yelan: v. pre-qixing. [ i don't do these things to help the powerful or mighty get rid of dissident forces. but because water too has a sou#yelan: v. qixing. [ seeing isn't always believing. and if you can't trust your eyes; you certainly can't trust rumors. ]#yelan: liyue. [ liyue will never plunge into disaster without clue of the danger like it once did. she will see that it is not unprepared.#yelan: wriothesley. [ don't fight over fleeting gains or losses. focus on where your heart is leading you and move forward. ] delusionaid.#yelan. [ i can't change the facts. but if it's a choice between the cold; hard truth and blissful unawareness: i'll take the former. ]
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tmi
#a friend is coming back from a solo kayaking trip in patagonia today and i feel like such a shitty person for this but i just.#really dont feel like im in the mental space to hear about it.#and partly its because where im at mentally and personally right now just makes it hard for me to be happy for others#or at least for it to not open up doors that bog me down badly and thats on Me like thats totally my own shit#and even if i know hearing about their trip will be hard its an asshole move to approach them with#‘im not in the mental space to hear you share something you’re really excited about with me’#on the other hand.#i know the real reason its gonna suck so bad is that with This particular friend this trip just gonna be another thing they did first.#and in a perfect world it shouldn’t matter who the fuck did the thing first but in this relationship and in this dynamic it always has#and so i Know that yeah im mentally in a place where taking in other people’s good news is hard#but also im just dreading having to hear every detail of how this trip is something i will never measure up to#every detail of things i would have to do bigger and better for it to matter and like. idk i fucking hate thinking about this#because it always makes me feel so small and bitter and they’re such ugly feelings#but also i know this dynamic isn’t like this because of me but i also know nothing i’ve ever done to try to change it has worked#and it’s like. i just have so much anxiety around this conversation that hasn’t even happened yet#and it’s because i know it’s gonna open up all this shit with it#m
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haterism is going to be strong in this post but i hateeeee pathetic weak people that victimize themselves. that kind of behaviour is just despicable to me it makes me ill im not joking. like one thing about me is i would rather die than let anyone feel sorry for me and seeing how some people willingly hope for it omfg...... no words. does it make me terrible person i dont know. but if youre like :( everyone hates me i am terrible arent i ....... my eye starts twitching and i am silent im not coddling you and now youre getting on my nerves so
#like DONNTT try this shit with me virgo friend did once and what happened it - it backfired on her like dont just dont i have zero sympathy#when the only problems you have are the ones you made yourself like im not the one sorry. i think after talking to her she realized how i#feel about it and shes back to being normal-ish so im like see its not hard. anyway do i think everyone should act like me like a rock#saturnian as fack strict firm harsh and austere no i think i would benefit from opening up#but im not talking about that i am talking about pathetic people which i will never be so...........#literally dont make me feel sorry for you thats the worst thing i can feel towards some like its over then its better for me to hate you tb#tt
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