#its so funny i was actually watching a review of it that was basically 'this game sucks and here's why'

[supersecretnerd]

Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean

I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch

[carriesthewind]

Oh dear.

So as some of you may know, I love to point and laugh at bad legal arguments. And as fun as legal dumpster fires are when they are made by people who aren’t lawyers but think this whole “law” thing seems pretty simple, it’s even funnier when an actual, barred attorney is the person dumping gallons of kerosene into the dumpster.

And oh boy folks, do I have a fun ride for y’all today. Come with me on this journey, as we watch a lawyer climb into the dumpster and deliberately pour kerosene all over himself, while a judge holds a match over his head.

The court listener link is here, for those who want to grab a few bowls of popcorn and read along.

For those of you who don’t enjoy reading legal briefs for cases you aren’t involved with on your day off (I can’t relate), I will go through the highlights here. I will screenshot and/or paraphrase the relevant portion of the briefs, and include a brief explainer of what’s going on (and why it’s very bad, but also extremely funny). (Also, I’m not going to repeat this throughout the whole write-up, so for the record: any statements I make about how the law or legal system works is referring exclusively to the U.S. (And since this is a federal case, we are even more specifically looking at U.S. federal law.) Also, I don’t know how you could construe any of this to be legal advice, but just in case: none of this is, is intended to be, or should be taken as, legal advice.)

First, let’s get just a quick background on the case, to help us follow along. In brief, this is a civil tort suit for personal injury based on defendant’s (alleged) negligence. The plaintiff is suing the defendant (an airline), because he says that he was injured when a flight attendant struck his knee with a metal cart, and the airline was negligent in letting this happen. The airline filed a motion to dismiss on the grounds that there is an international treaty that imposes a time bar for when these kind of cases can be brought against an airline, and the plaintiff filed this case too many years after the incident.

The fun begins when the plaintiff’s attorney filed an opposition to the motion to dismiss. (So far, a good and normal thing to do.) The opposition argues that the claim is not time-barred because 1) the time bar was tolled by the defendant’s bankruptcy proceedings (that is, the timer for the time limitation was paused when the defendant was in bankruptcy, and started again afterwords), and 2) the treaty’s time limit doesn’t apply to this case because the case was filed in state court before the state statute of limitations expired, and the state court has concurrent jurisdiction over this kind of case.

I’m struggling a bit to succinctly explain the second reason, and there’s a reason for that.

You see, the whole opposition reads a bit…oddly.

This is how the opposition begins its argument, and it’s…weird. The basic principle is...mostly correct here, but the actual standard is that when reviewing a motion to dismiss for failure to state a claim (which is what the defendant filed) the court must draw all reasonable factual inferences in the plaintiff’s favor. But even then, you don’t just put that standard in your opposition. You cite to a case that lays out the standard.

Because that’s how courts and the law work. The courts don’t operate just based on vibes. They follow statutory law (laws made by legislature) and case law (the decisions made by courts interpreting what those laws mean). You don't just submit a filing saying, "here's what the law is," without citing some authority to demonstrate that the law is what you say (or are arguing) it is.

Again, this isn’t wrong (although I'm not sure what it means by new arguments?), but it’s weird! And part of the reason it’s weird is that it is irrelevant to the defendant’s motion to dismiss. The defendant filed a motion stating that based on the facts in the complaint, the plaintiff has not stated a claim based on which relief can be granted, because the complaint is time barred by a treaty. There is no reason for this language to be in the opposition. It’s almost like they just asked a chatbot what the legal standards are for a motion to dismiss for a failure to state a claim, and just copied the answer into their brief without bother to double-check it.

The opposition then cites a bunch of cases which it claims support its position. We will skip them for now, as the defendant will respond to those citations in its reply brief.

The last thing in the brief is the signature of the lawyer who submitted the brief affirming that everything in the brief is true and correct. An extremely normal - required, even! - thing to do. This will surely not cause any problems for him later.

The next relevant filing is the defendant’s reply brief. Again, the existence of a reply brief in response to an opposition is extremely normal. The contents of this brief are…less so.

Beg pardon?

Just to be clear, this is not normal. It is normal to argue that the plaintiff’s cases are not relevant, or they aren’t applicable to this case, or you disagree with the interpretations, or whatever. It is not normal for the cases to appear to not exist.

Some highlights from the brief:

Quick lesson in how to read U.S. case citations! The italicized (or underlined) part at the beginning is the name of the case. If it is a trial court case, the plaintiff is listed first and the defendant second; if the case has been appealed, the person who lost at the lower court level (the petitioner/appellant) will be listed first, and the person who won at the lower level (the respondent/appellee) will be listed second. There are extremely specific rules about which words in these names are abbreviated, and how they are abbreviated. Next, you list the volume number and name of the reporter (the place where the case is published), again abbreviated according to very specific rules, then the page number that the case starts on. If you are citing a case for a specific quote or proposition, you then put a comma after the beginning page number, and list the page number(s) on which the quote or language you are relying on is located (this is called a “pincite”). Finally, you put in parenthesis the name of the court (if needed)(and again, abbreviated according to extremely specific rules) and the year the case was decided.

So the plaintiff’s response cited to Zicherman, which they said was a case from 2008 that was decided by the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals. However, the defendant was not able to find such a case. They were able to find a case with the same name (the same petitioner and respondent), but that case was decided by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1996, and the lower court cases associated with that case weren’t in the 11th circuit either. (The United States Reports is the only official reporter for the U.S. Supreme Court, and only includes SCOTUS decisions, so it’s not necessary to include the name of the court before the year it was decided.)

Just to be clear. The defendant’s brief is saying: the plaintiff cited and extensively quoted from these cases, and neither the cases nor the quotations appear to exist. These “cases” were not ancillary citations in the plaintiff’s brief. They were the authority it relied upon to make its arguments.

This is as close a lawyer can come, at this point in the proceedings, to saying, “opposing counsel made up a bunch of fake cases to lie to the court and pretend the law is something different than it is.”

That, “Putting aside that here is no page 598 in Kaiser Steel,” is delightfully petty lawyer speak for, “you are wrong on every possible thing there is to be wrong about.”

By page 5, the defendant has resorted to just listing all of the (apparently) made up cases in a footnote:

(skipping the citations to support this proposition)

This is where I return to my struggle to explain the opposition’s second reason why the motion to dismiss should not be granted. I struggled to explain the argument, because they failed to explain why the argument they were making (that plaintiffs can bring lawsuits against airlines in state court, and the state court have specific statutes of limitations for general negligence claims) was relevant to the question of whether the plaintiff’s specific claim against the airline was time barred by the treaty. Because 1) this case is in federal court, not state court, and 2) federal law - including treaties - preempts state law. Again, it’s almost like plaintiff’s attorney just typed a question about the time bar into a chatbot or something, and the machine, which wasn’t able to reason or actually analyze the issues, saw a question about the time to bring a lawsuit and just wrote up an answer about the statute of limitations.

We also end with a nice little lawyerly version of “you fucked up and we are going to destroy you.” The relief requested in the defendant’s original motion to dismiss was:

In their reply to the opposition, however:

“The circumstances” in this case, being the apparent fabrication of entire cases. Because courts tend to take that pretty seriously.

And the court took it seriously indeed. The defendant’s reply was docketed on March 15th of this year. On April 11th:

AKA: you have one week (an extremely prompt time frame for federal court) to prove to me that you didn’t just make up these cases.

On April 12th, the plaintiff’s attorney requests more time because he’s on vacation:

The judge grants the motion, but adds in another case that he forgot to include in his first order.

On April 25th, the plaintiff’s attorney files the following:

(And he lists the cases, with one exception, which he says is an unpublished decision.)

But he says of all of the cases except two, that the opinions…

Which is…nonsense?

First of all: if you cited a case, you had to get it from somewhere. Even unpublished opinions, if you are citing them in a brief, you are citing them because you pulled them off of westlaw or whatever. Which means you have access to the case and can annex it for the court. (There are even formal rules for how you cite unpublished opinions! And those rules include citing to where you pulled the damn case from!)

Secondly: remember that long digression I went into about how to read case citations? Remember that bit about how you include the name of the reporter (the place the case was published)? Yes, cases are published. They are printed in physical books, and they are published online in databases (e.g. lexis or westlaw). If the specific online database you are looking in does not have the case, you look somewhere else. If you have a judge telling you to get them a copy of the case Or Else, you track down a physical copy of the reporter if you need to and scan the damn thing yourself. You - literally - can’t just not have a copy of the case! (Especially published federal circuit court opinions, which multiple of these cases are! Those aren’t hard to find!)

And what kind of “online database” doesn’t include the entire opinion anyway? I’ve literally never heard of a case research database that only included partial opinions, because that wouldn’t be useful.

Maybe if we look at the attached annexed copies of the cases, that might give us some answers.

...

My friends, these things are just bizarre. With two exceptions, they aren’t submitted in any sort of conventional format. Even if you’ve never seen a legal opinion before, I think you can see the difference if you just glance through the filings. They are located at Docket entry #29 on Court Listener (April 25, 2023). Compare Attachments 6 and 8 (the real cases submitted in conventional format) to the other cases. Turning to the contents of the cases:

In the first one, the factual background is that a passenger sued an airline, then the airline filed a motion to dismiss (on grounds unrelated to the treaty's time bar), then the airline went into bankruptcy, then the airline won the motion to dismiss, then the passenger appealed. And the court is now considering that appeal. But then the opinion starts talking about how the passenger was in arbitration, and it seems to be treating the passenger like he is the one who filed for bankruptcy? It’s hallucinatory, even before you get to the legal arguments. The “Court of Appeals” is making a ruling overruling the district court’s dismissal based on the time bar, but according to the factual background, the case wasn’t dismissed based on the time bar, but on entirely other grounds? Was there some other proceeding where the claim was dismissed as time barred, and it’s just not mentioned in the factual background? How? Why? What is happening? Also it says Congress enacted the treaty? But, no? That’s…that’s not how treaties work? I mean, Congress did ratify the treaty? But they didn’t unilaterally make it!

In the second case, there’s an extended discussion of which treaty applies to the appellants claims, which is bizarre because there are two relevant treaties, and one replaced the other before the conduct at issue, so only the new treaty applies? There isn’t any discussion of the issue beyond that basic principle, so there is no reason there should be multiple paragraphs in the opinion explaining it over and over? Also, it keeps referring to the appellant as the plaintiff, for some reason? And it includes this absolutely hallucinatory sentence:

…the only part this that makes sense is that the argument is without merit. I’m not going to discuss the actual merits of the legal arguments in the opinion, because they are so bizarre and disjointed that even trying to describe them would require a Pepe Silvia-sized conspiracy board. Like the previous case, both the facts and the legal posture of the case change constantly, with seemingly no rhyme or reason.

The third one…oh boy. First, large portions of the “opinion” are individual paragraphs with quotations around the whole paragraph. What’s happening there? As far as the content of the opinion itself - I can’t. I mean that, I literally can’t. What is being discussed seems to change from paragraph to paragraph, much of it contradicting. It makes the first case seem linear and rational by comparison. The court finds it doesn’t have personal jurisdiction over the defendant so dismisses the case based on a lack of subject matter jurisdiction? But also the defendant hasn’t contested jurisdiction? And also the court does hold that it has both subject matter and personal jurisdiction over the defendant? And then it denies the motion to dismiss the case? Also, at one point it cites itself?

…also, even if this was a real case, it doesn’t stand for the propositions the plaintiff cited it for in their opposition? I’m not going to go into the weeds (honestly it’s so hallucinatory I’m not sure I could if I tried), but, for example, the plaintiff’s reply brief states that the court held “that the plaintiff was not required to bring their claim in federal court.” The U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia is a federal court, and there is no discussion of any filings in state courts. The closest the “opinion” comes is with the statement, “Therefore, Petersen’s argument that the state courts of Washington have concurrent jurisdiction is unavailing.” (This statement appears to be completely disconnected from anything before or after it, so I am unsure what it is supposed to mean.)

Moving on, case number four is allegedly a decision by the Court of Appeals of Texas. It includes the following line:

Honestly, the plaintiff’s attorney best defense at this point is that he wasn’t intentionally trying to mislead the court, because if he was doing this on purpose, he would have edited the cases to make them slightly more believable. (Context in case you’ve lost track: these documents are supposed to be copies of the opinions he is citing. The screenshoted line makes it clear that what he is actually citing is, at best, someone else’s summary of an "opinion". It would be like if a teacher asked a student to photocopy a chapter of a book and bring it into class, and instead the student brought in a copy of the cliffs notes summary of that chapter. Except that the book doesn’t even exist.)

The actual contents of the “opinion” are, as is now standard, absolutely bonkers. First, the court decides that it doesn’t have personal jurisdiction over Delta because “Delta did not purposefully avail itself of the benefits of conducting business in Texas.” This was despite the fact that the factual background already included that the appellant (sorry, the plaintiff, according to the “opinion”) flew on a Delta flight originating in Texas. Like, this is just wrong? It’s not even hallucinatory nonsense, it’s just facially incorrect legal analysis. Then the court starts discussing the treaty’s time bar, for some reason? Then it goes back to talking about personal jurisdiction, but now the trial court denied the defendant’s motion to dismiss for lack of personal jurisdiction, and the appellate court agrees with the trial court that it does have personal jurisdiction, even though this is the plaintiff’s appeal from the dismissal for lack of personal jurisdiction and the court already ruled it didn’t have personal jurisdiction? And even though on page 1, the plaintiff was injured during a flight from Texas to California, now on page 7 she was injured on a flight from Shanghai to Texas? Also the trial court has gone back in time (again) to grant the motion to dismiss that it previously denied?

Also, I’ve been trying to avoid pointing out the wonky text of these submissions, but:

Everything ok there?

Case number five is similar enough to number four that it’s not worth repeating myself.

Thank god, cases six and eight, as noted above, are real cases, so I’m going to skip them. The defendant alleges that the cases do not stand for the propositions the plaintiff cited them for, and I’m going to assume that is true, given the rest of this nonsense.

Case number seven looks legitimate on the surface. But neither the defendant nor I could find the case through any legitimate search mechanisms. The defendant looked up the purported docket numbers on PACER and found completely different cases; I was able to find a case with the name “Miller v. United Airlines, Inc.,” but it was for a different Ms. Miller, it was a California state case (not a Second Circuit federal case), it was decided on a different year, and the substance of the case was entirely different from the alleged opinion filed with the court.

On top of that, this might be the most morally reprehensible fake citation of them all? Because it is about the crash of United Airlines Flight 585, a real plane crash. Everyone on board - 25 people in total - was killed. 

The individual cited in this fake court case was not one of them.

I cannot imagine conducting myself in such a way where I would have to explain to a judge that I made up a fake case exploiting a real tragedy because I couldn’t be bothered to do actual legal research.

Now, I know you all have figured out what’s going on by now. And I want you to know that if your instincts are saying, “it seems like the lawyer should have just fallen on his sword and confessed that he relied on ChatGPT to write his original brief, rather than digging himself further into this hole”? Your instincts are absolutely correct.

Because obviously, the court was having none of this b.s. On May 4th, the court issued an order, beginning with the following sentence:

That is one of the worst possible opening sentences you can see in an order by the court in a situation like this. The only thing worse is when judges start quoting classic literature. If I was Mr. Peter LoDuca, counsel for the plaintiff, I would already be shitting my pants.

“I gave you an opportunity to either clear things up or come clean. Now I’m going to give you an opportunity to show why I should only come down on you like a pile of brinks, instead of a whole building.”

We are getting dangerously close to “quoting classic lit” territory here.

If I learned that the judge in my case called up the clerk of a circuit court just to confirm how full of shit I was, I would leave the legal profession forever. Also, the judge is now also putting quotes around “opinion.” When judges start getting openly sarcastic in their briefs, that means very very bad things are about to happen to someone.

So I’m guessing the delay between this filing and the court order was because the judge’s clerk was tasked with running down every single one of the additional fake citations included in the "opinions", just to make this sure this order (and the upcoming pile of bricks) are as thorough as possible.

If you are following along with Dracula Daily, the vibe here is roughly the same as the May 19th entry where Dracula demands Jonathan Harker write and pre-date letters stating he has left the castle and is on the way home.

Also, hey, what’s that footnote?

Wait, what?

Folks, it appears we may have notary fraud, on top of everything else! Anybody have bingo?

So on May 25, one day before the deadline, Mr. LoDuca filed his response. And oh boy, I hope ya’ll are ready for this.

Hey, what’s the name of that other attorney, “Steven Schwartz”? Where have I seen that name before…

...I ran out of room for images on this post. So I'm going to have to leave this as an accidental cliffhanger. Part 2 to follow once I refresh my tea.

[superectojazzmage]

Watched the Nimona movie last night. Review I guess. It was pretty damn good. Definitely would’ve probably been regarded as Blue Sky’s magnum opus if they’d gotten to release it instead of being fucked over by Disney. Very cute, very funny, very powerful in the right moments. A thing that stuck out to me is that it’s really only an adaptation in the loosest sense of the word. It takes the core premise and beats of the comic but is functionally an entirely different kind of story that does its own thing. And given that ND Stevenson was heavily involved in production, I suspect that was intentional.

The comic was much darker and more downbeat in a lot of ways, plus it was significantly longer and thus could afford to be slower paced. But more than that, it was a lot more meaty in terms of themes and scope. The whole “LGBT allegory” element was there, but it wasn’t the sole focus, the comic was a story about a lot of different things; not just an LGBT experience, but also discussion of fantasy genre tropes and clichés, criticism of other fantasy deconstructions, character study, exploring what it means to be a hero or villain, critique of the glorification of crime and cruelty in underprivileged communities, corruption in governments, peer pressure, the senseless and self-perpetuating nature of violence, the worthlessness of revenge, etc.. And above all that, it was a story about trauma and people’s responses to it, with Ballister representing people who actually deal with their problems and move on while Nimona represented people who let their mistakes and suffering and grief consume their identity, or worse, use it as an excuse to indulge their worst qualities and take out their feelings on everyone around them.

The movie, by contrast, has a much more narrow focus. The LGBT allegory is front and center and basically the entire focal point of the movie, aside from a spattering of themes about the danger of zealotry and rigid fundamentalist thinking. This gives the movie a much tighter narrative and pacing that suits its inherently shorter runtime, but also leads to a ton of changes to the story either to convey a different kind of message or just work better in a different medium. Most obviously in how Nimona is vastly more sympathetic in the movie and essentially really is the silly gremlin the comic fakes you out into thinking she is, scrapping the comic’s twist that she was a genuinely bad person who was completely serious about wanting to be a villain, caring nothing for the lives she destroyed with her behavior and idolizing Ballister because she thought he was the same as her and would thus tell her what she wanted to hear (i.e., that she was justified in killing and destroying everything around her in the name of getting even). And in the changes to the Institution’s history and nature. And all sorts of other things.

All in all, I feel if you go in comparing and contrasting the movie and the comic, arguing which changes are for the better or worse, you’ll be setting yourself up for disappointment in either direction because they’re two different beasts and it’s like comparing apples and oranges. So keep that in mind if you’re a fan of the comic watching the movie or a fan of the movie wanting to look into the comic. I think ultimately I still like the comic better, but that’s purely my personal opinion and there’s plenty that I think the movie did better.

Some other observations:

Riz Ahmed my beloved, thank you Mr. Stevenson for this perfect casting. Literally perfect for Ballister.

Acting in general was very good. You can tell this was a passion project for a lot of people, not just Stevenson.

Only two changes that are objectively bad are Ambrosius losing his awesome Van Halen hairdo and changing Ballister’s last name — Blackheart is a way cooler name than Boldheart and it’s a pointless change, one that I’d argue even hurts the narrative since it makes it too obvious that Ballister isn’t actually a bad guy.

The animation is really great with fantastic expressions, stylish movement, and wonderful aesthetics that perfectly suit the story, but there’s times where it feels a little off. But there are parts where it looks less “movie” and more “cheap mid-2000s CGI-and-Flash cartoon show from France”.

The humor can be a hit and miss, in a “going through the motions of a Hollywood animated comedy for kids” way. The movie excels when it’s either imitating the comic’s Old Internet sense of humor or going hard on the drama, but there’s bits where it seemingly slams on the brakes to do Illumination-esque Twitter humor and those bits definitely throw off the vibe.

Having an actual straight up attempted suicide in the climax was shockingly ballsy. I genuinely can’t believe they went there, but I’m glad they did because the film wouldn’t have felt nearly as raw without it.

I don’t know how they managed to make the Director even more of an asshole than in the comics, but they did.

[blazehedgehog]

What do you think of the idea that YouTubers in the 2010s are the reason Sonic had/has a bad reputation?

It's really stupid. Completely unfounded.

You know why Youtubers in 2010's felt that way? Because a lot of people outside of the Sonic fandom felt that way.

I was in high school when Sonic Adventure 1 came out. I got my Dreamcast for Christmas in 1999. Purely by surprise, my brother sent me $200 for Christmas that year after not hearing from him for a decade. I was living in Colorado, and we'd had a white Christmas, meaning the roads were too slick to drive anywhere on December 26th. But I knew I wanted that Dreamcast.

The local Wal-mart was a little over a mile away. So, I bundled up and hiked it. With other money I got for Christmas that year, I had just enough for the Dreamcast, Sonic Adventure, an off-brand VMU, an issue of Official Dreamcast Magazine with a demo disc, and a lightgun -- I'd wanted House of the Dead 2 and I was desperate for a home port of The Lost World.

I played Sonic Adventure all day, every day, for like a week. Some of that was the fault of the cheap VMU I got -- it wasn't even a VMU, it was just a memory card, and it was half the price of the official thing. For whatever reason, Sonic Adventure (and ONLY Sonic Adventure) had trouble saving to that thing. My saves would frequently corrupt and disappear. I didn't mind as much as you'd think. I willingly and happily replayed Sonic Adventure over, and over, and over, and over.

When I got back to school in January of 2000, a lot of other kids had gotten Dreamcasts and Sonic Adventure. And it turned out I was the Sonic Adventure evangelist.

I wouldn't say everyone hated Sonic Adventure, but they were pretty frustrated with it. The main talking point was that there were too many characters in the game and most of them weren't very good. Everyone had their ranking list for who they'd rather be playing as, and universally, everyone just wanted to keep playing as Sonic. Knuckles, Amy, and Big brought up the rear for the most-hated gameplay styles. A lot of kids were saying they weren't even going to bother finishing the game if it meant having to play as Amy and Big.

My point of view was that it was normal. Sonic 2 introduced Tails, Sonic 3 introduced Knuckles, so it makes sense that Sonic Adventure would introduce new playable characters as well. It did little to address their complaints that most of the non-Sonic characters were annoying.

This sentiment never went away. A year later, in 2001, Penny-Arcade, basically the biggest webcomic in the world at that point, awarded Sonic Adventure 2 "the best Sonic game where you do not play as Sonic" award, which was less of an actual award and more of a jab at how Sonic wasn't actually in 75% of that game.

Then the Gamecube ports started coming in, which, if you've watched my Definitive Way to Play series, you'd know that SA1 and SA2 were quick and dirty ports that introduced a lot of problems in visuals, control, and sound. Reviews for those versions deservedly slammed them, citing poor music that drowned out the dialog, rapidly dated visuals, and a generally buggy presentation, on top of all the problems people had with the original Dreamcast releases.

After that, the decline really hit its stride. Sonic Heroes, then Shadow the Hedgehog, then Sonic 06. A real triple whammy of things just getting worse, and worse, and worse. Sonic 06 in particular was so much worse that it hit the fabled point where it wrapped around to being kind of funny for some people.

All of this was YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS before "2010's Youtubers" ever stepped in front of a microphone. Those people were just recounting the lives they had lived.

Anyone who thinks 2010's Youtubers did anything are just revealing how young they were back then, and how ignorant they were about the general temperature of things beyond "after my nappy time and my juice box I'm going to play the colorful animals game, yay!!!"

Before that gets me into too much trouble, I'd also like to say that obviously, times change. Opinions are a fluid thing. There will always be a "younger generation" that thinks about things in a different way than the older generation. Anyone, no matter what era they grew up in, can go back and find some beloved nostalgic classic getting blasted by critics. (For example: recently I rewatched Howard the Duck, a legendary bomb for Lucasfilm, and I loved that movie as a kid)

Loving something that you realize everybody hated when it originally came out is kind of just part of the human experience. A rite of passage, almost. But it helps to embrace that perspective, understand it, and realize you can still keep liking that thing regardless.

2010's Youtubers did nothing except exist.

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

So I don’t know if you know of Doug Walker, but recently released his Disneycember review of The Owl House.

While he praised a majority of the show, he criticized the main villain, Belos, of how he was written.

Many of the comments tried to defend the writing of the villain.

Doug Walker..

Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time.

Yes, I am very familiar with Doug Walker; I loved his stuff along with Channel Awesome years ago and then the allegations came out and fortunately, the other contributors on that channel moved onto bigger and better things. Meanwhile, Doug just stayed the same, so I don't watch his stuff anymore.

Any way, I think it's funny people are scrambling to defend Belos' writing because, despite my own personal opinions on Doug as a critic, I actually agree with him.

For a show that is ostensibly about subverting tropes and not judging a book by its cover, by showing how people can choose to change or not, etc. Belos is a throwback to an earlier era where the Big Bad had basic motivations and characterizations. And for a show like toh, that actually ends up hurting the narrative.

I have categorized the comments I found defending the writing and here are my responses to them:

Belos does have a deeper layer, you just have to look for it.

While a show can certainly foreshadow and provide little hints about a major character, eventually all of that setup will have to pay off somehow. There has to be a reveal both to reward the viewers that have been paying attention and to inform more casual viewers who may not have. Fans analyzing every little frame to extrapolate a major character's backstory only for that backstory to really not matter in the end despite it being set up for a season is just bad writing. full stop. [A viewer should also not have to look on social media for crucial information on a major character.]

It's also not clever that the show left so much room for interpretation on Belos; it just means that they didn't make a commitment to what was being set up and reduced his character to glib one-liners whenever we learn something interesting about him (Masha's "little bro was jealous of big bro" line and Papa Titan's whole spiel).

2. Belos would have been written better if the show had more time.

The Toh crew knew about the cancellation during production of Eda's Requiem and wrote all of 2B with it in mind. So they knew they were working on a time crunch but still introduced elements like the Collector when they should have spent the time wrapping up their story. The cancellation is not an excuse for sloppy writing.

3. Belos as a villain works more on a meta level.

So the argument here is that Belos is the antithesis to the BI; it's accepting and diverse while he is hateful and only accepts things that conform to his worldview. The characters in the story change and grow, while Belos does not. The problem here is that a villain can't only work on a meta level, it has to work on a narrative one as well.

If the BI is place that accepts weirdos then how did someone like Belos come to power? Oh, he lied his way to the top and created problems that never existed? That just makes your populace look dumb and easily manipulated. The BI being so accepting also undermines the threat credibility of the Emperor's Coven because why should we worry about them if they have no real influence over how the BI residents think or behave aside from when the plot needs them to?

Also, I strongly disagree with anyone who says that toh has a "people are complicated and choose to do good and bad" theme when all of the good characters can blame their bad actions on being manipulated or on circumstances outside of their control OR the narrative ignores/downplays anything bad they did (cough cough Amity and Lilith). Meanwhile, the villains are just shallow with basic motives and this is supposed to be a deep message about how Some People Are Just Bad.

If you're going to contrast why your good characters are capable of growth then you need to show why your villain does not. What is stopping them? How do they react if given a legitimate reason to change (that isn't a cheap jab at Steven Universe)? What is their justification for their actions?

Whatever the answer is, the narrative has to support it and not undermine it with a stupid joke.

4. Belos is so refreshing when every villain character is redeemed.

Watch more shows. If you think that every cartoon villain post-Steven Universe is being redeemed then you're incorrect. Redemption of a show or movie's Big Bad is still in the minority while the redemption of the main villain's lackey is a dime-a-dozen.

Ultimately, I think the problem with toh is that so many of its fans take its thematic statements at face value without ever really stopping to think about the execution of those themes and if they really work or not.

Belos just happens to embody this little trick that toh does: it claims to have bold and timely statements and important themes, but the structure and execution of the plot, character development, and world-building undermines any attempt at a consistent or coherent message.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: A Fate Inked in Blood by Danielle L. Jensen

4.5/5. Releases 2/27/24.

Heat Index: 6.5/10.

Vibes: vIKINGS!!!!, slutty guy/serious girl, "oops I'm married to your dad", and legitimately intense battle and magic stuff that actually works and puts people in those heartrending situations where it's all "STAY ALIVE!!!!! I WILL FIND YOU!!!!!!!!!" as it should in a FANTASY ROMANCE

Married to a man she hates and hiding the fact that she's the child of a minor goddess (children of gods are a Thing in this world) Freya lives a life of drudgery. Until, that is, her secret is revealed to all and Jarl Snorri declares that she's a prophesied shieldmaiden, meant to clinch him the kingdom he's always wanted. As such, she must marry him--kind of an issue, as she is very, very attracted to Snorri's son Bjorn. Another issue: Bjorn has been bound to Freya as her protector. On top of everything, Freya's goddess-given abilities are obscure but dangerous, leading her to wonder if her fate is less that of a protector than that of a monster...

OOOOH WE'VE GOT SOMETHING HERE. I've read Danielle L. Jensen before, way back in the day with her Malediction books--but those were YA (albeit, pretty hot YA) and I really don't read YA anymore. However, I do like Viking Shit, and I especially liked the idea of a romance between a Viking lady and her husband's SON, which was something I always wanted to happen on Vikings. So I picked it up.

And dude. It sucked me right in. I am, as I will get into more below, kind of a hard sell on fantasy romance--when it works, I am HOOKED but when it doesn't I am quickly turned off. This is the former. I was so drawn to Freya, a heroine who does have Chosen One aspects, but is also very human and just trying to make it work, one battle at a time. (Also? She's not instantly gREAT at fighting, how refreshing.) And I absolutely fell head over heels dumb girl for our hero Bjorn, who I expected to be a stoic silent warrior type. NO. He's so much better. He's like, an amazing warrior--but is also so funny and super slutty and just a BRO. I love him. Protect him.

The fantasy plot is compelling and doesn't get so in love with itself that it's impossible to follow. It's really good! I'm excited by this! Can't wait for the next! (What a relief, God.)

Quick Takes:

Here's my issue with fantasy romance (or romantasy, though I'll point out that this series is billed as "fantasy romance" on Netgalley, and that is so HOT to me): often, though the name implies that it's a subgenre of romance with a heavy fantasy bent... It's basically fantasy (well-done or not) with a romance subplot tucked in. The character work is shoddy, the tension is nil, and you can tell that the author is just trying to horn in on the romance audience. Not so, here. 

First off, I think Jensen was really smart to create a fantasy world that is very "Vikings But Fantasy". It's not poorly drawn. You can tell that she's really into the Norse vibe, and I will say that I am biased because as someone who has somehow been watching the Vikings franchise since its inception (pray for me) I'm fairly familiar with it on that level. But the way she weaves the fantasy elements, most distinctly the idea of these empowered children of gods (who are basically made when their mortal parents HAVE THREESOMES WITH GODS??? Amazing. Just imagine having these superpowers and knowing that it's because your parents took some dude home from the bar one night and he turned out to be Thor.) into the story is really natural.

Secondly... There is a really compelling plot, yes. I am really into the duality of Freya, don't get me wrong. I really like the royal intrigue. All the WIFE DRAMA. It's My Brand. But the real heart of this story, very openly and honestly and presented without any self-consciousness, is Freya and Bjorn. And I think Jensen just lays it all out there the moment she introduces the brilliant plot device of "Bjorn's Dad, Who Freya Is Technically Married To, Wants Bjorn To Follow Freya Around And Make Sure She Doesn't Get Into Danger". Oh, so he's supposed to protect her as she hurtles into adventure and fights Viking zombies and shit? HOW CONVENIENT. Throughout the story, their immediate physical attraction melts into this emotional slow burn... and I am also a hard sell on a slow burn, so thank you for doing it right, Danielle. The book is single POV (Freya's, though I wouldn't mind Bjorn's in a future installment) but you can just tell that Bjorn is so mad that he's this into a woman who is technically his stepmother. Like, he can have anyone! But he wants HER. But he can't have her! 

Picture me gobbling this up like a raccoon in a trash can.

--Speaking of! If you're all "ew, I hate that Freya is married to his dad"--no spoilers, but this is dealt with in a way that I think both avoids the ick that some readers (to be clear: not me, I am very resistant to ick) may feel over that setup, and avoids a copout. 

At the same time... First off, Bjorn doesn't fully know that the ick has been avoided, and to be frank, I don't think Bjorn really cares about a little ick. But he does have like, you know, the "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME" vibe for a while, and it is delicious. All very illicitaffairs.mp3.

--I also really loved that there is no mistake about Freya being a GROWN WOMAN. I strongly, strongly object to shelving this as New Adult, because regardless of her age, Freya (and honestly Bjorn as well) has been through a lot. She's literally married when we open this novel. She gets a second husband. She is not a virgin; her marriage was not chaste; it sucked. (To be clear: you don't get a lot of insight into Freya's first marriage beyond "it sucked" because it's dealt with pretty quickly. You don't see any sexual assault on the page in this book, and I don't know that Freya would see it that way? It's alluded to as "lie back and think of England" bad, gross sex, which I think suggests assault, but there is not any explicit violence, sexual or otherwise, depicted in either of her marriages.) She is JADED. She has never had a man like, take care of her.

And then she gets linked up with local dude who's snarking at her horrible husband about how he must not go down on her enough, and she's all "WHAT'S THAT MEAN :/". I really, really enjoy a pairing that involves a tough woman who's never been properly taken care of and a man who's like "I am DESPERATE to take care of you". Freya deserves!

--Another good choice: often, in fantasy romance (or at least in fantasy romance of yore; I feel like there has been a recent push to correct this, at least somewhat) the heroine is hypercompetent. She's smart, she's a good fighter, she's a femme fatale, she's the seventeen-year-old master assassin...

Freya is... a person. She does want to fight, and she is--not surprisingly, as she does come from a culture in which women do fight--not incapable of holding her own. Somewhat. But as soon as she's up against a master warrior like Bjorn, she's kind of not great, Bob, and even with the benefit of her goddess-given abilities, she still has a lot to learn. It's giving "Book One Aang", and I'm good with that. I'm actually much happier with her giving Book One Aang as a twenty-something woman because like? Give us hope, Freya.

She also doesn't have all the answers. Frankly, Freya doesn't have 80% of the answers, and she shouldn't, because she's new to this. She's new to the magic stuff (though she knew she had it, which I did like--she's not an Alina Starkov-level "WHAAAT" about it) and she's new to the court intrigue, and frankly she's new to Hot Dudes. Speaking of, she does spend a decent amount of brain time going "STOP! STOP, SELF! DO NOT LOOK! DO NOT TOUCH!" Which, frankly, I loved. I feel like that's the kind of behavior people are going to be annoying about because people are dying, but like. This woman just spent years surrounded by Village 2's and suddenly she's being swung around and guarded by a very flirtatious Royal 12. Give her a break. I would be much worse. 

And she doesn't know what the hell she's doing with this man. She knows the mechanics, but she doesn't know the FINESSE. Speaking of...

The Sex:

The reason why I'm between a 6 and a 7 on this (and that's not quality, that's literally just how hot the book is re: sex acts) is that the story is a slow burn. Everything sexy happens in the back half, and you don't get to the full shebang until pretty late in the game. It's ABOUT THE YEARNING.

However, I think this was a good choice, and when we do get those scenes they are super hot (and explicit, though not like Sierra Simone explicit to be clear) and passionate and you definitely get the sense that it's this giant deal for these two. I was quite touched. I was like "awww" but also "oh" which is where I want to be when a story builds to two people hooking up for that long.

And Jensen fully takes advantage of the "Vikings" component and does have some "under the sleeping furs with 76 people sleeping in the near vicinity but we just need to get this done" action here. Which. Brava.

I'll be honest--I was worried about this, as I feel like I've been let down by a great fantasy romance in the past. I, much like several people in this novel, have been burned before. Not so here. I'm fully on board. I loved where we left off, and I cannot wait to see where those two crazy kids go next. Hopefully, like. To Vikings divorce court. So she can end that marriage to his dad.

Thanks to Netgalley and Del Rey for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Preorder:

Amazon

B&N

Bookshop.org

[bearhyuck127]

series review

Spoiler warning!!!

we are the series -

This show is so cute.

I can definitely see myself coming back to watch this as a comfort show.

Pisses me off that it took phem and peem up until episode 13 to start dating.

Q and toey are so cute I want to rip my hair out omg. Definitely my favorite side couple.

So sad it's ending soon.

8 out of 10

I give this rating because it took so long for the main couple to get together. Also I feel like it was dragged on a little longer than it should have. But the acting is great ( as expected from pond and phuwin) and I keep coming back for more.

My stand in the series-

BROOO

This show most definitely keeps me on my feet.

I don't understand why Joe would go back to the people who basically killed him.

I tried so hard to like ming but the second he chained my man how up I lost any liking I had for him.

I was a passionate Joe and sol supporter but when I saw how sad and helpless ming was I couldn't help but feel bad for him. ( I know I'm insane)

After finding out that Joe was in this joe's body he knew he had to make things right and I'm proud of him for all the sacrifices he is making right now.

9 out of 10

I give this rating because it's genuinely a really good series. Sure I kick and scream like a mad person but that's just apart of the experience.

I know that Joe will choose ming in the end because I've seen the trailer but its still nerve racking.

That are so foul for not giving the teaser for the last episode. I have to sit through the week in pain.

This love doesn't have long beans-

The way I've waited so long for this.

When I saw the announcement I was in school and I tried my absolute best to keep calm.

I've been obsessed with sailubpon since pit babe and I'm so happy that they have their own series.

Not to mention Garfield and benz. I'm so excited to see how there relationship develops.

I find the fact that the restaurant is actually babe's house from pit babe so funny.

8.5 out of 10

I think it's only fair to give this rating.

The first episode just came out but I'm already in love.

And like I said I waited so long for this series.

I'm so excited for next Friday.

I am definitely not excited about the "love triangle" though sigh.

My love mix-up

I cannot stress enough how much I love this series.

I love how fun Geminiforth make every series that they are in.

The confession was soo stressful though.. because what do you mean atom confessed got scared and tripped, ended up rolling down the hill with kongthap and then kongthap got bit by a snake...let's just say I was out of my bed for the whole thing.

I'm so ready for mudmee to confess because her and half are so cute.

9 out of 10

This series is so refreshing after the trauma I get from my stand in.

I can never get bored with geminiforth and I will always support them in all of their projects.

Sunset x vibes-

im not going to lie I wasn't too interested when watching the first episode but I let a few more episodes to come out before continuing and now I like it.

It's definitely something to watch when I'm bored every Saturday.

The friend group does kind of annoy me a little bit.. they blackmailed people that are way higher up in the business than they are which kind of gave me the ick. I understand that they were worried about their friend but I wouldn't go around blackmailing people. I'm pushing through though and I'm looking forward to the development of Sam and yo though.

I love moss and bank and I've wanted to see them in another series again for a while now.

7.5 out of 10

Though I like how the show is developing I have a few problems with it.

I wish they added translations for the jewelry scene but then again that could just be my streaming platform problem.

I will always love anything moss and bank do and this is no hate towards anyone!

Love sea-

oh. my. god.

This show has me in a chokehold i swear.

Again with the friends though omg! Mook girlie I promise tongrak will be ok if he has a man in his house.. I mean look at mut.. all I have to say.

I find the whole nook and vie situation is so cute though I'm so ready for them to get together.

Also these scenes man... they need to let us breathe. LET US BREATHE.

8.5 out of 10

I love fortpeat sooo much.

The difference between their characters in love in the air and love sea is funny but I live for it.

So ready for mut to show tongrak what love actually is.

Also money doesn't buy love guys 😔

Those are all the the shows I'm watching right now..it's a 9 to 5 job I swear... ( Please I need more shows ☹️) If you have any recommendations I will gladly take them. Sadly I can only watch on iqiyi and YouTube though so please stick to shows that air on those platforms please and thank you 🫶🫶🫶

[connyscomics]

Until I Become Me by Satou Hatsuki

Trans rep: 8/10

General enjoyment: 8/10

Okay so this will be the first of my longer reviews that I post, and so for readers that don’t want that I’ll first say some words about the comic (in summary or smth). Basically the comic is good but oddly executed and is built around a sort of stupid gender swap premise. Okay so uhm yeah heres my goliath of an essay (actually its just like 600 words, but yk this is tumblr not a newspaper… oh whatever):

I started writing about Trans comics almost three years ago because I noticed that there was not one single thorough guide or reading list for someone trying to find comics about Trans people. There are a few guides out there that allow you to search under the tag of “Transgender”, but every single one has the same five or ten entries that barely have any Transgender representation.

The genre of Transgender comics may seem small, but once you start digging you’ll quickly find that there are so many great comics to be found, if only you just look hard enough!

It took me three years of searching to find Until I Become Me by Satou Hatsuki in the footnotes of a poorly written article about another Trans comic I was researching, but boy was it worth the wait. Until I Become Me is a not-so-classic twist on the classic manga trope of “gender benders” or “gender swap,” in which a character (typically male) magically Transforms (typically overnight) into the opposite sex. This trope generally plays into outdated understandings of gender and sex and the intersection of the two to create what has historically been seen as a humorous plot point.

Gender swap tropes are rooted in a gender-essentialist perspective that there is something inherently “female” about some bodies and something inherently “male” about other bodies and that only a magical binary “switch” could turn a boy into a girl. In reality, gender and bodies are not so completely binary and not so completely set in stone, and furthermore if someone wants to change their body, modern medical transition options are very effective for changing someone’s “sex”.

Normally I can’t stand comics like this because they are full to the brim with Transphobic rhetoric, gender-essentialism, and usually a good amount of oversexualization. However, Until I Become Me is different, because the gender swap mechanic is not seen as a funny joke or a one-off bit but instead as a serious and confusing emotional experience for a character with a lot of internalized self-hatred and Trans desires.

The main character, Akira, hesitantly explores what it means to have a feminine body while simultaneously coping with her growing enjoyment of this experience: she didn’t magically become a girl overnight (mentally speaking) but the “girl” might have been there all along.

This strikingly fresh take on both the Transgender experience and the gender-swap trope is as fun as it is heart wrenching. Before her body changed, Akira regularly harassed and bullied girls in her class, and then after changing ends up facing much of the same treatment from boys in her class. Watching Akira reflect on her own past behaviors towards girls when she was a “boy” hits deep into the real-world challenge of many Trans people to balance internalized prejudices with learned experiences.

Although overall I found the comic really enjoyable and its storyline surprisingly poignant, there were definitely some moments that were hard to read.

The way in which her parents treat her, as a freak of nature that desperately needs “fixing,” and the way that boys in her class (particularly early on when they knew her before the change) treat her, as a subject of ridicule and regular sexual harassment, its all quite difficult to read. But this does not make the story any less valuable as a Trans narrative, in fact the balancing of the softer internal exploration with the harsh outside world is exactly what makes Until I Become Me one of the most harshly realistic comics I’ve ever read.

Admittedly, the gender swap mechanic is a bit cheesy at first, but I think Hatsuki did a good job separating the brain from the body and allowing the Transgender themes to come front and center. The comic is on chapter 63 currently and regularly updating, already having cemented itself as one of the greatest Transgender texts, comic or otherwise, that's ever been written.

[gunsatthaphan]

🏆 𝒯𝑜𝓅 𝟣𝟢 𝑜𝒻 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟤 💫

a few anons have requested this and also I was in the mood so here are my Top 10 BLs of 2022 (only including the ones that finished this year). Also I have posted more lengthy reviews for each of these shows already so I’m gonna try and keep it short lol. 

not much to say here, if you know me and my blog then you know how much this show and firstkhao have taken over my life this year lmao. I loved the story so much and everything about it felt so genuine all the way through. FK did an incredible job at actually becoming their characters and I was so in awe of their portrayal. They made something incredible out of a little budget and that’s why I cherished it so much. The plot wasn’t perfect, there were holes and weaknesses but firstkhao, paired with the watching experience, made it perfect for me. 13/10. 

this one gets the award for most underrated show of the year lmao. I loved it so much. like.... what an actual masterpiece?? the cinematography was stunning and the whole concept was so captivating. jimmysea delivered big time and while there were some draggy parts in the middle, the script ultimately proved itself to be absolutely outstanding. Sadly it didn’t get the attention it deserved. 

OOF. I mean. How can I not include this mess of a project lmao (affectionate). was the script oscar-worthy? no. did it make a lot of sense? nah. but did I have the time of my life watching it? hell ya. The craze that surrounded this show was insane and it made the whole thing 10x better lmao. It was hilarious, the characters were likable and the chemistries were fire from every couple involved. It was the watching experience that made me put this as my no.3 because I had a blast.

This was such a nice surprise for me because I wasn’t in the mood for another KBL after the disaster that was To My Star 2 lmao but this was absolutely amazing. The script was genius and so was the entire production quality. This was the first show I saw with the 2 leads as I didn’t watch Kissable Lips but I was very pleasantly surprised by their chemistry. I would love to see them in more stuff in the future!  

GOD. This show has my whole heart lmao. I would consider it a guilty pleasure though because it’s definitely not for everyone. But it hit the nail right on the head for me. It was SO adorable and SO hilarious and I have a huge weak spot for kaownah and turbo because they are just so lovely together. Lots of crack but the best kind lmao. Perfect. 

🥺🥺 what an absolute gem of a show this was. A+ comedy and also the perfect proof that you can actually make something out of what seems like the most basic bl plot ever lol. But what they made of it was amazing. MekKim were super entertaining, also Lee and Park had no business being the most adorable couple I’ve ever seen??? sickening. I love them so much. The setup was super nice and it plays with several bl clichés in a very cunning way. Loved it!!!! 

YES I LOVED THIS!!!!!! This show polarized a lot when it aired, mostly because of the body swap plot and also the disney antics lol and tbh I was expecting to agree with the critical opinions as I don’t like body swap tropes but I was surprised by how much I loved it. How they handled the plot was funny and adorable, plus the whole roadtrip theme and all the sceneries were so nice! And needless to say you can never go wrong with EarthMix. they always deliver and especially Mix’s acting left a big impression with me.

This show never got a lot of attention and most reviews were not good but guess what I disagree kfjdghfd. I loved it so much. The dynamic between the mains was fantastic and with so much cuteness it made me sick dfkjghf. The power of this show lies in its minimalism for me, there were so many small endearing things and everything felt 100% natural. Also they were one of the few pairings in a KBL that actually felt like a realistic couple lol. Han Gi Chan was outstanding and considering this was Holland’s acting debut, he did a very decent job as well. Also the cinematography? stunning. I went in with zero expectations and came out with teary heart eyes lol. 

I was fairly excited for this one as it was Joong’s GMMTV debut and I was not disappointed. It doesn’t hold up with some of gmm’s other highlights this year but I liked it!!! It relied a lot on JoongDunk’s chemistry which I’m not mad about though. They’re really good together. The rest of the cast was also top-notch with an A+ friend group lol. The plot wasn’t super elaborate but once again, the watching experience did it for me lol. 

I liked this one a lot!!! It was the first KBL that I thoroughly enjoyed since Light On Me and it was so much fun to watch!! The chemistry between the leads was top-notch and even though it doesn’t quite hold up with some other KBLs for me, I still wanted to put it on my list because that’s what it deserves lol. 

thank you 2022 for giving us good gay food lmao. here’s to an even better 2023!! ✨

[cookieblobber]

The Defense of Steven Universe’s (OG Show) Ending

(This is basically a post where I put everything I said in a large Twitter thread so it’s more easily readable, with maybe a few changes and additions.

Spoilers BTW)

So I’ve been drawing a lot of stuff lately and in doing so, I’ve been rewatching a lot of old shows I used to watch and finishing whatever I missed out on. Steven Universe was an interesting one, as I recall having some form of obsession with it as a kid on Google+, however I barely remembered watching a lot of it or if I even watched it on TV or on websites like Kisscartoon. And after doing so,

I barely see the hate for it that it’s gotten for years.

It has its flaws, and issues that have plagued the show outside of what’s within it, but it’s no doubt memorable with a great cast of characters and very unique and fascinating lore and story telling. Now, I don’t wanna really get into a whole deep dive review on the whole show, as even though I’ve made a couple of essays lately (mainly on Sonic the Hedgehog), I don’t think I’m that experienced to go over an entire 5 seasons explaining each and every episode’s strengths and weaknesses and allat (though maybe I might discuss the amazing character development of each crystal gem in the future, who knows?), rather I want to discuss something that is partially why I started watching this show again: The Ending - Change Your Mind (S5E29).

——————————————

Now, the ending is understandably mixed, I understand the critiques of it being weird and anticlimactic and all and how it doesn’t feel like the diamonds’ actions on gem history was fully acknowledged and been punished for it. I completely get the criticism here and I don’t want to drive away people from making actual critiques on the show and where it could’ve improved upon.

What I mainly want to focus on is the notion that the ending can be summed up to, “Steven forgave Gem Hitler”

That is very incorrect.

See, the whole reason why White Diamond (the “Gem Hitler”) was involved with the story was because after Steven was able to prove to Blue and Yellow Diamond that he’s Pink Diamond, he takes the opportunity to use their stronger powers to restore one of the corrupted gems (Centipede). This works…for a moment, as they’re only restored once all 3 put their healing powers to use, but upon letting go of the gem, they reform back into their corrupted version. With Steven technically being part of the Diamond Authroity, he thinks maybe he can take advantage of his position to be able to speak to White Diamond, the highest gem in the patriarchy, and convince her to come to Earth to help the corrupted gems.

Throughout these last episodes, it’s clear this is all for a demand to help gems that were stuck on Earth. While Steven wanted to just try and talk to White, and convinced Blue and Yellow to express how they feel about how White has handled their civilization, there’s never a point where he’s all like “look inside your heart, please you have so much good in you I can feel it” or whatever. Considering how he had to fuse with the Crystal Gems and team up with others who showed up to be able to fight her mech and barely reach to the top of it to meet her, this whole plan wasn’t really as pacifist as many have made it out to be.

———————————

Sorry to stray off a little but, funny thing is, as much as people make fun of Steven Universe for being a show where characters just talk their feelings out and suddenly everything is good, they acknowledge in one of the episodes that not every gem has this deep trauma or pain they try to hold in.

In the episode, “Stuck Together” he and Lars get caught by Aquamarine and Topaz, they both open up to each other about how no matter what happens, they got each other. This leads Topaz who throughout her introduction has been mute and serious and who has them held hostage, to start crying and vent about how much emotional pain she’s been holding in so much because it’s her job. When Aquamarine finds out she’s trying to help them escape, they desperately start trying to convince her that she’s allowed to open up about whatever she feels, that they’re here to listen and talk.

This is was her reaction.

And I have yet to watch Future right now, but from what I’m reading, even after a lot has changed since the original show and tons of gems live peacefully with Beach City, she shows up again to get her revenge.

At no point is she ever redeemed in any way.

———————————

Anyways, the only reason why Steven was able to convince White to do something to corrupted gems on Earth was because he bested her and she couldn’t do anything about it.

Her whole ordeal was how she wants to have this flawless world where nothing goes out of line, even if it means having to mind control them so they act just like her. She views herself as being the perfect gem of all time who knows what’s best for everyone. However, due to how she’s acted with Steven, being an adult gem constantly picking on a literal child because she refuses to accept he’s not Pink Diamond or is part human; how it’s all just a disguise and Pink Diamond is just lying to herself, she’s embarrassed and realizes she indeed does have a flaw. She’s shaken up with guilt over how petty and childish she’s been acting, being exactly what she’s been criticizing Pink Diamond, to the point where she questions who she is. If she’s not this flawless perfect gem who knows what’s best, then what is she? What should she be since throughout her whole life she’s been obsessed with perfection? She can’t be leader of a whole gem civilization trying to make everyone flawless if she herself is flawed. What further solidified it was how she was unable to control Pink Steven no matter how much she tried, and once she started blushing and feeling embarrassed, she lost control on the other gems she had brainwashed. Blue and Yellow even react in disgust/fear seeing her become “off-color” due to her blush, basically for a moment them losing respect for her.

Steven goes up to her and tries to tell her to just, let people be who they are, without trying to “fix” them, and maybe she can be whoever she wants to be. White is still in distraught, wanting to be someone who knows better, be better, and wanting to make everything better, which Steven offers her a way to do so (which is coming to Earth to help the corrupted gems), but first needing to leave your own head - literally and figuratively.

————————————

At no point throughout the ending is White crying about trauma or begging for forgiveness to Steven and having him go “it’s ok we all make mistakes 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰”, all that happens is Steven sees her essentially having an identity crisis now that she cracked and realized she isn’t as perfect as she thought she was, and being the good natured kid he is, offers to show her how she can be a better person, taking the opportunity to make her do what he set out to demand from her. To say they should’ve shattered her would’ve defeated the whole point as to why Steven even went back to Homeworld to begin with, cuz he needed White’s help. Plus, still haven’t watched Future but,

There is a scene where Steven actually attempts to SHATTER White Diamond upon taking control of her body for everything she has done to him, he CLEARLY doesn’t find her to be in the clear of everything she’s done.

TL;DR They can’t just shatter her cuz she’s the big bad villain, the whole point of the final episodes was Steven needing her in order to restore all the corrupted gems they’ve saved throughout the show. No matter what it took, he was going to find a way to do it. While I do agree that there could’ve been better acknowledgment on everything that she’s done to Homeworld and all, same goes for Blue and Yellow, as they’re immediately relegated to out of touch aunts, to make the massive stretch that this is supposed to be Steven forgiving Hitler or proof that Rebecca Sugar (a Jewish person) is a Nazi apologist…come on bro.

EDIT: I really recommend btw watching this video I recently just viewed discussing the show’s ending and really diving in about the topic of Steven’s identity and White’s identity. It’s informative summarizing a lot of what’s been hinted at and led up to the final episode and goes over stuff I could never even attempt to bring to light with how amateurish I am at this sorta junk 💀

And even if with everything being said, you still believe in the notion that “Steven forgave Gen Hitler” or whatever, I’m about to bring up an argument so earth shattering that it will make you re-evaluate everything you know about the show. So, here it goes:

IT’S A FUCKING PG CARTOON SHOW

———————————

Listen, I know it’s very cliche to use the, “it’s a kids show it’s not that deep!!” argument or whatever idiots say to avoid people from discussing further about their favorite things, especially in an era where many are pushing the “Animation is Cinema” phrase and proving its not just kiddie shit only babies like, but what I mean is

At what point is it crossing the line when making comparisons from a thing in fiction to something in real life?

What makes a great story is how it’s able to draw connections to realistic issues or problems many face with unique metaphors and analogies and all of that, Steven Universe is no different. However, at what point are the metaphors or references to real life supposed to stop? At what point does it become stretching really hard? I can understand how people have had ideas that “fusion is a metaphor for sex” or whatever to some degree.

But going as far as to compare this obviously over the top dictator to the world’s worst man to have ever lived on planet earth who is responsible for the death of millions just because he so happens to also be a dictator, doesn’t that seem so…psychotic to even try to relate when it’s obvious that was never the intention? I mean look at this whole world of the show, it’s a futuristic jewelry space civilization filled with advanced technology and bright colors, how do you look at all of this and first thing that comes to mind is Nazi Germany? How do you look at a giant voluptuous white woman who’s existed for millenniums and think “yea that’s Hitler right there”, all because she’s simply a textbook definition of a dictator?

Trying to make her whole country this flawless world where no one goes out of line and disallows any form of diversity? Like any typical villain? Is that really all it takes to be considered as “animated Hitler”?

Does that mean the abandoned flawed gems in the abandoned Kindergarten that Steven and Lars met at the very bottom of Homeworld are supposed to be a reference to Anne Frank’s family hiding from nazis? One would say that’s a massive stretch to make and they’d be right, cuz it is…just like what people say about White Diamond.

These kinds of massive stretches and comparisons have been made in the past constantly, and for what? To gang up on a show that just wanted to teach kids the values of showing love and positivity, being there for your friends and families and trying to accept people’s flaws or differences in how they live? To make excuses to be blatantly anti-semetic towards the Jewish person who created this show? All because over shit like the fanbase was infamous at one point for how they treated each other and the show producers or because the ending wasn’t how many wanted it to be or how it debatably pushes the idea of positivity way too much in places where it shouldn’t try to?

At what point do people who criticize this show for it’s apparent farfetched ideologies of being kind to everyone, start sounding farfetched themselves for making these insane leaps in logic to make a blatantly slanderous argument and label on the show? If something like “White Diamond is supposed to be Gem Hitler” is something many easily gave into believing, what kind of fucked up comparisons would people make next about the entirety of Homeworld or gems as a species till these start to sound like psychotic conspiracy theories?

————————————

Steven Universe is no doubt a flawed show, I won’t deny that, will never deny that. As much as I defend the ending and go against how people have slandered the show, I can admit stuff could’ve been done better. However, like I’ve said at the beginning, I fail to see how all the hate the show’s gotten for years has ever been deserved or warrented. It’s clear that even with its flaws in storytelling, pacing, (sometimes animation), there is still so much to love about this show. It’s characters, it’s music, it’s themes, it’s lore, etc. There’s good reason as to why people love and still fondly remember it and consider it to be just as important as the other shows that brought in this renaissance era for Cartoon Network (Gumball, Regular Show, and Adventure Time).

After all, just like what the ending taught people, things aren’t always going to be perfect, and that’s ok. Flaws make things what they are, and unless said flaws actively have negative effects on things, there’s no reason to fight against them so excruciatingly. We may strive hard for perfection and flawlessness, to be considered perfect or for a thing we like to be considered perfect, but at some point, trying to do so much just to achieve said perfection will down the road start to become an issue and affect ourselves and the ones around us, the ones we love.

When you think about it, a lot of what has happened within the fanbase and the critics of the show mimic similar attitude to White Diamond. This want for perfection, for nothing to be going out of line, but all it’s done is damage the show’s reputation to many.

Fans on here long ago harassing an artist for the way they drew one of the characters of the show as she wasn’t in this “perfect” body shape they wanted her in. Or harassing producers of the show for how they’d handle things like (iirc) Lapis and Peridot’s “relationship” because it didn’t match their “perfect” connection between the two, and more.

On the other side, critics like the infamous Lily Orchard blasting the show for not being this “perfectly” told story and going out of her way to make these insane comparisons to have some leverage in this giant attack on the show and what it stands for.

These wild and out of pocket attempts to make everything perfect for the show, and what has it done? It heavily soured how people view the show, making people want to stay away from getting into it as from the POV of the outside looking in, it’s a whole rabbit hole they probably shouldn’t get into…for their sake of their mental health. This mindset to be caught up in selfish outlandish views of what’s deemed as being perfect has only made things worse for everyone on every side of discussion on this show. And while as of lately things seem to be recovering, as more people are giving the show a second chance and realizing how messed up people like Lily Orchard were, still the effects of what happened back in the mid-late 2010s are noticeable in some areas.

——————————

If it gets to a point where we’re fighting a flaw that barely affects anyone, is it really a flaw that is that important or even a flaw at all to begin with? We can strive to be better people and learn from mistakes, but a perfect person who can do no wrong is just impossible.

Flaws are what help make everything feel unique in it’s own right. That’s not to say some flaws can’t be acknowledged and called out, but as for flaws that sum up to “someone/something is different from what I expected”, it seems over the top to go so hard to fight against it, as we’d be fighting against having diversity among each and every one of us.

If every pork-chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.

[tremendously-exhilarated]

Rope Live at the Lunabühne, Weißenburg Germany - Review

Yes, you read that right. It took two eight-hour train drives and several rebookings due to strikes to get from my home city to the opposite side of the country and watch my favourite play, but it was worth it, and possibly one of the few chances I'll get to ever watch it on a stage. I really wish Rope was more regularly performed, especially because I’d be willing to travel anywhere just to see it (like this great rendition if only I had known about it sooner, thank God YouTube exists though), so I was stoked when finding out about this charming little production in December.

The Lunabühne is a small, communal theater in the beautiful southern German town of Weißenburg, and is a place for amateur actors and comedians of all ages to present their talent, of which they have a lot. I thought it would be fun to share some of the experience with you guys, and since the theater was kind enough to allow pictures, I’m able to upload some of them on the blog as well.

Having read the play dozens of times in English, it was admittedly a little strange for me to hear the dialogue in my native language, but after a short while I got used to it and the translation worked quite well. Then, of course, there was the dialect. I won’t get too deep into this because I don’t know how interesting it is for non-German-speakers, but basically, Weißenburg is located in a region called Franconia, which isn’t classified as its own state but has a very distinct culture and dialect compared to the state of Bavaria, which it is a geopolitical part of. With me being from the North and speaking the classic High German dialect, hearing the characters speak a dialect I know best from numerous comedy programs I watched as a kid was quite amusing, especially because @larasangne and I literally joked about a 100% stereotypical German/Bavarian adaptation of the play like two years ago.

Also, before moving on to the actual play, I’d like to say that the actors and everyone else involved are some of the most friendly, down-to-earth people I’ve ever met. We talked for about an hour after the play had ended, and they even allowed us to take a picture on-stage with the set and insisted on also being in the picture. Amazing people, amazing actors. 

Now, I should start by saying that I actually saw the play twice, on the 8th and 9th. The main reason for this, and perhaps one of the most interesting as well as surprising aspects of the play, was the original actor of Granillo being unable to attend the premiere on the 8th. So, the director had to take over his role spontaneously on that day, and let me tell you, he did an amazing job for having literally one day of preparation.

I loved how both actors brought their own flavour to the character; the director, despite not looking exactly like the description of Granno in the play (which he jokingly mentioned before the performance), really brought over an intense skittishness and subtly became more and more disheveled over time, using all sorts of little mannerisms to express his anxiety (a lot of which was real) and also being quite funny later on when the character got drunk.

Whereas the original actor in the second showing played Granno as very withheld and tense at the beginning, occasionally intensified his performance as he got more drunk and lost self-control, but always with a constant dark cloud over him as if his spirit had been broken from the very start. Both actors had great comedic timing when it came to the 'drunk humour' and got loads of laughter from the audience. 

Rupert’s actor was fantastic as well and really captured the essence of the character. He was extravagant, sarcastic, and constantly fucking with everyone else. Whenever he got especially annoyed or his jokes went over the other characters' heads, the actor would sorta look above the heads of the audience with a raised eyebrow or sometimes even a full-on grin, like making fun of the other characters together with the audience. The way his demeanor slowly evolved from playful to suspicious to completely speechless to aggressive was so well done, and his speeches toward the end were very intense and capturing. 

Brandon's actor perfectly captured the narcissistic, passive-aggressive cockyness of his character, and his constant insulting remarks as well as intense verbal exchanges between him and Rupert were a delight to watch. Especially the final scenes were insane, switching between calm conversation to tense silence and at last, the big confrontation with lots of shouting. 

Another big highlight for me was Kenneth's actor. The best I can describe his energy is a Golden Retriever in a red tuxedo and with an 80s mullet. It was so very fitting for the character somehow and I think the actor had as much of a great time on stage as Ken had at the party. The actress of Mrs Debenham played drunk even better than both Granno actors combined, I really have no idea how the cast didn't burst out into laughter whenever she played her part. The actress of Leila absolutely rocked her 20s flapper outfit and overacted in the exact moments when it was necessary to give her character that certain mean sass from the play. I thought it was pretty hilarious how Sir Kentley was dressed, spoke, and acted exactly like a slightly grumpy, yet friendly middle-aged German from the South. And lastly, Sabot's actor used the few appearances he had to tickle a laugh out of the audience every time with subtle body language and his dialouge.

One funny thing I'd like to add is the smoking on stage. I’m not a smoker and I discourage people from starting to smoke whenever possible, but I honestly thought it was pretty cool that Rupert, Brandon, and a few of the others smoked real cigarettes on stage. It definitely added to the overall atmosphere and reminded me of the movie right away.

Overall, this was an amazing experience and I'm extremely thankful it worked out despite the stress of planning and re-planning a short trip. Not only was I able to watch my favorite play on stage, but it was also my first trip to that region of my home country and I got to explore the Medieval town and nature surrounding it for a few days. If I ever get another chance to watch Rope on a stage, I will definitely write a similar review-type post, as this was a lot of fun.

I hope you enjoyed reading!

Lunabühne Website Weißenburger Bühne Website

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: The Boss Baby: Family Business

So would you believe me if I told you this movie is better than the first Boss Baby? I mean it's not... much better, but still, improvements were made here. Let's talk about them.

We jump foward to a now adult Tim, who has fallen out of touch with his brother Ted (the original Boss Baby) and struggles to connect with his daughter Tabitha. He soon discovers his baby Tina is on assignment from BabyCorp to stop a new villain intent on wiping out all parents. Tina gives both Ted and Tim a formula to make them both young again, recruiting their help on this mission and roping them into all sorts of Mischief ala the first movie but... like I said, marginally better.

So yeah, once again, very silly plot for a very silly movie. And yet... I don't know, it feels more... genuine than the first one did? Like it leans less on the obvious "oh look at funee baby in suit talking like a businessman" (though there is still plenty of that) and leans more on character interactions and I gotta respect that. Especially since it actually gives me a reason to care about Ted and Tim this time around, actually strengthening their bond and reflecting on how they weren't there for each other growing up like they promised they would be, and how they're given a second chance to change that now. Idk, just some pretty nice thematic stuff in there, along with Tim learning to be a better dad to his kids along the way (daddy issues in Dreamworks movies, they never stop, I Swear).

The characters here are... ok. Better than they were in the first movie, I mean fuck, the titual Boss Baby is toned down a lot and is honestly one of the least painful parts of this. Tim is also better, mostly bc he's actually an adult here so he's not your annoying kid stereotype like he was before. Tina is... kind of annoying, being the source of all of the "business baby" jokes and she grates on the nerves every now and then. Tabitha is ok though, getting some good development alongside Tim. Then we have our villain, Armstrong, who is... surprisingly funny? Like he isn't the funniest dreamworks baddie by any means, but he was certainly watchable. Hell, you could kind of say that for this movie as a whole, really.

The humor here is a little better, striking surprisingly a little more mature than last time (featuring an insane joke about agnostics like what the fuck Dreamworks I never would have thought you'd ever reference religion again after Prince of Egypt holy shit). The emotional beats also hit just a touch more, feeling a good degree less forced than the first movie's. And yet for everything this movie does well, I think its biggest problem is it drags on for far too long, just meandering with scenes that don't need to be anywhere near as long as they are, into a movie with a longer runtime than it probably should have had. It gets... tiring, after a while, and you get to the point where you just want the damn thing to end.

The animation here is really nothing special, basically looking identical to the first movie's, though I will say a few of the imagination sequences were sort of eye catching here. The music is also pretty simplistic but there were a few diagetic songs that I thought were... ok enough. Pretty unoffensive in that reguard, though of course, the pop songs just couldn't keep their nose out of this movie either.

Like I said, its far from being anything resembling good, but fuck, I watched Spirit Untamed last night and this was better than that and it was also better than the first movie, so that's gotta count for something. Even then though, it doesn't count for... that much.

Overall Rating: 4/10

Verdict: Pay tribute to the Greatest Dreamworks Character Ever: The Agnostic Kid

Previous Review (Spirit Untamed)

Next Review (The Bad Guys)

[phantomwitch16]

In the recent release of the FNAF movie, I just want to put out some head cannons about Avengers Academy. The comic Avengers Academy, not the game.

These guys. I really like the team here and it genuinely hurts me that there is not a lot of stuff about them anywhere, except for X-23 (mainly Reptil, why is there barely anything about you, you’re so cool😭). This would take place before the end of the comic series, where everyone is still part of the Academy.

Anyway, Reptil is 100% a FNAF fan and nerd. Watched Markiplier, played the game, subscribed to Game theory Pre-FNAF era. Became obsessed with the game and watched all the content, listen to the fan made music, watched the FNAF musical, read the books and bought merch. Keeps his interest in it mostly to himself, mainly because most of the others weren’t fans when they met. Was thrilled when the movie was announced the movie and was counting the days to see it. Organised a month long event where he would watch/play through all the available FNAF games, write down some of his own theories and draft up a timeline, watch Game theory and Markiplier again before finishing off with the Musical. This month would lead up to the film’s release. The month took into account to any world ending events that might take place while also making room for training. Basically set up a cinema experience in the biggest spare room on the campus

Finesse learned about it through Reptil when they were having their situationship but wasn’t all that interested in it. Did humour Humberto by allowing him to talk about it but didn’t like it.

Mettle got into it when Reptil was playing through the whole FNAF games and a jumpscare are got the both of them. He was aware of the games cause of the Markiplier memes, just wasn’t into. Cause of the Jump scares and Reptil’s interest in it, he decides to watch a few play throughs of the games. Got very into it, and talks about it with Humberto daily and started watching Game Theory as well. Mostly talking about what the hell happened and what happened when.

Hazmat got into it cause of Mettle and saw him cackle and jump at all the funny moment of the play throughs. Has a passing interest. Knows squat about the mystery and doesn’t care. Just in it for the vibes. Same with Lightspeed, Striker and White Tiger.

Actually Striker would hate it. He didn’t see the point in obsessing over the mysteries in a game and genuinely find it stupid. Especially when seeing how much merch Reptil had in his room.

Veil was very into FNAF when she was younger but lost interest in it after the fourth game. She thought that was a good stopping point in the series and didn’t pick it up until after.

X-23 got surprisingly somehow got very interested in the FNAF. Happened when hearing Mettle talking about it with Reptil and decided to use it as a way to fine something to talk to them about. But she did not expect to really get into it. Finished watching the play thoughs and reading the books in a few days before coming to Mettle and Reptil about it.

All of them somehow got involved in watching the reviewing all the FNAF content. Even a few other members in the academy attended, finding out through Mettle about what he was doing. Most of them don’t really know what its about but come anyway to watch. They all ended up going to watch the film with him when they left.

Giant Man, Tigra and the other teachers are mostly unaware of FNAF. Quicksilver found it annoying for the team’s leader was distracting himself with it and got the others into it as well. Tigra and Giant Man don’t really mind it as he did take into account to space it for a month and saw it as a nice team bonding exercise. Jocasta didn’t really care. Speedball and Hawkeye love it and hate it, mostly because they walked in on Reptil talking about the Bite of 83 and 87 in extreme detail with X-23. But they did find it hilarious when Wolverine called them asking why the hell X-23 spent nearly four-hundred dollars on FNAF stuff.

Also, Reptil, Mettle and X-23 wore FNAF merch. Both Reptil and Laura wore security guard uniform, Humberto in Purple while X-23 was in grey with a white mask strapped to her security belt, and Mettle cosplayed as Golden Freddie.

[momo-wants-siesta]

SAMURAI OF HYUGA -BOOK 1- [REVIEW]

I did not originally intend to read this IF. But by popular demand I have been pressured to write this review.

Apparently it's the story of a "samurai" who lives on an island called "Hyuga" which is literally Japan, but I guess giving it a random Japanese name was cooler. More original.

This IF is divided into different books, and the adventures of this "samurai" and his companions will be told. Let's get down to business.

CHAPTER 1

Well. Let's see what this brutal interactive heart-pounding interactive tale is about.

The text of the Chapter 1 (Along with the Kanji) basically reveals to us that the author doesn't know Japanese and basically used a kanji dictionary.

As a tip, Japanese translation doesn't conserve plurals, So instead of "Sake with the Oyamas" it should be "Sake with the Oyama" and probably specificy it's a group or family. But I digress.

Steamed dumplings, nice. It's good that we start a japanese setting with a dish that is from Chinese origin (Nikuman in Japanese, Baozi in Chinese) and probably wasn't introduced until later.

I'm starting to have my doubts about the MC being a samurai, given how the dude seems to love to mix themselves with "Bakuto" people that were basically part of the modern "yakuza" today.

So for some reason we are stuck with a "spoiled kid"

Next scene. Someone getting close to a "samurai" and asking for a favor. Yeah, that was totally normal back then.

But it get's funnier when the title of the game is "samurai of Hyuga" but the two options are basically saying "I'm not a samurai". I don't understand what the author did there.

Okay. So this MC that has been living on the slums, suddenly know all about nobility and "royals". Its funny using "royals". It's good to know that the author doesn't seem to have studied Japanese history. Mostly how the correct term would either be "nobles" or "clanmen" or "imperials".

MC: *Says they are not a samurai* Random dude/woman: Master samuraaaai

I'm starting to feel like the author has been under the influence of sustances while writing this. Since the lack of consistency is apalling.

I don't want to make this review too long. But I really need to ask. Why two nobles are trying to make an alliance marriage, in a fucking Inn. And not in their houses. That doesn't make any sense. And then "let's ask this random no life to pose with us". I think that the author believe the Japanese to be stupid, or have watched too much mainstream brainless anime.

The "how the bride looks" options seems to have been written by the horniest individual to have ever existed for Google play standards of non lewdity.

I feel like I need to stop and point this. Why is the groom wearing a Kamon? Why do they need a samurai if they are samurai?

I think the author needs to understand what a samurai was. Because I think they are confused and believed all the nobility to be samurai. And that's a grave error. That's not how it worked. Nobility didn't need to be samurai. And some samurai weren't even nobility. Samurai was a social class on it's own.

I don't understand why they didn't ask the MC name. What kind of way to refer to someone is "Samurai-san" is like someone comes to you, if you are barista, even if you have your name in the tag, and go "Mister Bartender, nice to meet you".

Japanese are polite. They would ask the name. We entered full weebish anime paradise and we are only on chapter 1.

Not to say, this marriage would never happen, in those guys were not part of the nobility. Unlike in Europe were the burgesy could buy titles and marry into nobility, in Japan that was socially forbidden. And blood was really important, to the point of eugenics.

The day i find a "japan" IF that has been written by someone who did actual research instead of watching anime, will be the day I plant a tree or something.

But what is bothering me the most, is how the MC is all knowing. Not only we cannot decide on their personality (even tought there are a lot of useless stats) but the guy is basically a Gary Sue. He knows everything. He looks at you, and he knows your tragic backstory already. There's some fucked up powerfantasy there already. And it still kills me how I haven't been able to customize anything yet. I'm playing with a MC that I don't even know the game. Its fucking awesome. /s

I love how threating each other in the middle of an Inn it's great. Or how for some fucking reason, the author believe that your typical western bar fights would happen in Japan.

Fuck's sake. This author needs help. That our a japanese history book in the head, to gain some brain cells.

.......I'm going to kill someone.

So some guys appear with what I supposed it's irezumi, or the ancient version of it.

MC: they are not criminals.

Me: THEN WHAT THEY HAVE TATTOS.

Just you guys know, back in the day the "yakuza" didn't exist yet. And Irezumi exist, because back in that day criminals were tattoed, as a way to mark them. So irezumi started as a way to hide those markings.

Why would the author write something called "Samurai of Hyuga" which is clearly Japan themed, but then refuse to do even the most minimal research? I'm baffled.

So suddenly we are at "Yamato" but the game calls the place "Hyuga" then the MC goes I'm from "genfu". Someone seriously need to decide on a name, or make a fucking map.

Good Lord, this is hard.

"Wish I had an escort of Ninjas" yea because Shinobi totally escorted people. FUCK.

"That was low even for a shinobi". What the fuck is this. Shinobi were not considered dishonorable, basically because they didn't have to follow the bushido.

AUTHOR, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, ONLY THE SAMURAI WERE FORCED TO FOLLOW THE BUSHIDO. NO ONE ELSE.

Stop calling him samurai-san after hearing his fucking name. ITS FUCKING OFFENSIVE. WHY ARE YOU OFFENDING PEOPLE, TOSHIO.

Okay. I need to make this stop. So for fucking reason, to keep going I need to kill a Carp. Because fuck yeah. If I don't want to? I better quit the game.

It's good to know that the Author is complete psycho who is into stupid edgy protagonist.

Why is this even an IF? Where are the options? Why I'm still playing?

I'm gonna skip for a while to make a more compact review, because if I have to stop at every fucked up part...

So super random fight where we get more male powerfantasy. Then it's me or it's the Masashi kid a RO? Because that basically child that acts like a child. So now the author is a fucking pedo too? What's next? The guy is into lolis?

AAAAAAAND I CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS.

PRECOCIOUS FINAL TOUGHTS

How the fuck was I ever convinced to read this?

This is not even an IF. There's not even real choices. Like, the MC is totally 100% set on stone. And this is pure anime weebish trash.

This is one of the most questionable tales I read in a while. I don't event wanna now about the other ROs. This bad, this is horrible. This is something who jack up to lolis and decided to make a fucking work out of their personal waifu fantasies.

What the fuck is this. Seriously. The worse part is how people actually bought this, and how there are so many books. Unless it suddenly improves.

I been deeply disgusted and I don't even want to hear about this work ever again in my whole life.

[1-800-c0sm1c]

꒰crossteaming pt.2 !꒱

genshin characters as your streamer bf/gf !

character x gn!reader

includes kazuha, venti, itto, thoma, and shenhe!

warnings : none.

a/n : thank you for all the notes on the 1st part , much appreciated <3

KAZUHA - THE GEOGUESSER PRO

of course the wanted criminal knows all about geography. (and poetry of course too, but well get to that later)

doesnt matter where in the world he is plopped down in, kazuha knows exactly where he is, and hes quick about it too.

competes in geoguessr tournaments too and often wins with ease.

hes the type to do google maps speedruns as well, and none of his friends are nearly as good as he is.

if youre ever lost somewhere, just send kazuha a pick of your surroundings on twitter, and hes sure to find your cross streets soon enough!

“you said how i got your address…? dont even worry about that bro.”

youre literally just there to distract kazuha, if im being entirely honest.

oh, hes 1 guess away from a 50 state streak ? not if you can do anything about it. especially if he had a penalty set up for getting answers wrong.

he has called you a pest multiple times, but its out of love <3 i dont genuinely think he could ever get mad at you for real, hes very calm all the time.

he also likes to share poetry! on the days you (lovingly) annoy him he likes to write funky lil haikus about how annoying you are <3 isnt that sweet?

what can i say, hes a funny little jokester, at least on camera. when its just the two of you alone hes a lot more romantic, i promise.

“shall i compare thee to a summers day? no, a summers day is not a bitch.”

VENTI - THE GENSHIN STREAMER

pretend for a second that hes not a character in the game, or even better yet, he voice acts one of the characters. venti never shuts up about how good his team comp is and how he always manages to get the characters he wants. (secretly hes just spending a LOT of money.)

character build reviews but hes actually pretty nice about it! sometimes there will be a build that he cannot physically say anything good about and its entertaining, so chat started sending in builds that were purposely bad just to get reactions out of him LMAO.

adventure rank 60, no doubt about it.

the most annoying co-op player. oh you wanted to be that character? too bad, now hes going to play them and hes got a better build too, guess you should switch <3

SOOO many unfinished quests yet he complains he has nothing to do. (guilty)

“go touch grass? im a genshin player… what is that supposed to mean?”

venti loves telling the story of how you two met in genshin co-op. you on the other hand.. well you wish he would stop talking about it every stream you appear in.

lots of streams together! he wont wish for a character without you, he claims youre his good luck charm. (he loses most of the 50/50s.)

will help you do any quest! as long as he wants to, and its one that he knows how to do. so maybe not ANY quest, but hes trying his best.

he may be annoying with strangers in co-op domains, but any character you want to play you can. no questions asked, hell switch immediately.

he does more damage than you but hell still say that you did all the hard work and hes proud of you <3

ITTO - THE FORTNITE STREAMER

“wow you did so much damage just now, you absolutely carried me! thank you, i love you. :)”

the best part about itto being a fortnite streamer is hes not even good at the game.

he tries his best, really he does. but somehow those cracked 12 year olds have got him beat.

has spent an embarrassing amount of money on the game, but you can tell how much he appreciates every item hes acquired.

plugs his creator code CONSTANTLY. hes gotta make that money hes spent back somehow!

whenever he has a really bad loss he just blames it on stream sniping because he can. yeah i basically turned him into ninja, whoops!

“oh my god bro again? you know what, reported for stream sniping!”

you and itto are truly a dynamic duo. youre actually decent at the game and hes entertaining to watch.

chat loves when you play duos games together, and you both do too! (even though hell take all the credit if you win.)

his favorite item is the chug cannon, mostly because he wants to make sure youre full health and shield at all times <3

has made many sacrifices of his characters life in you honor, even if you still dont end up winning, you appreciate it.

lots of moments from his streams have been clipped and put into funny moments montages and they all go straight to his neverending ego.

“we are the clowns and you all have front row seats to the circus.”

THOMA - THE VARIETY STREAMER

i couldnt see thoma sticking to one main category, i feel like every stream hes doing something new, and hes somehow pretty good at anything he tries out.

his commentary is really what gets people to stick around for his content, he can make anything sound interesting.

think of him as a steamer like rtgame! hes got really fun sims and hitman series, games you dont think could be made funny, but then he does and its overall a really great time.

hes got so many inside jokes from all the games hes played, youve got to be there for every stream otherwise you miss out heavily.

nobody even knew what he looked like for awhile because he didnt have a facecam, but once he started using one his viewers went up by 100k, no joke.

“where is that from? oh, its an inside joke, you probably wouldnt get it.”

thomas viewers are literally so jealous of you. youve pulled the ultimate man right there.

honestly i dont see you appearing on his steams much other than for the occasional mario party game.

i feel like since you never really appear most of his viewers didnt even know you two were dating until those random streams happen. everytime it does twitter goes wild with “THOMA HAS A S/O?” and half the replies are also freaking out while the other half is like “you didnt know?” its a mess every time.

most likely youre in thomas chat instead of in the room, and you tend to instigate chat into spamming emotes a lot and getting it turned to sub only mode. its honestly pretty funny.

one time you walked into his room to ask if he wanted mcdonalds and he was watching paint dry. this had been going on for 4 hours. you didnt ask questions.

“the hoes gonna love this.”

SHENHE - THE CALL OF DUTY PLAYER

i think call of duty lobbies are the only place on earth that can handle shenhe if shes genuinely angry.

shes a toxic gamer for sure, dont get on her bad side.

shes gotten pretty good at the game too, shes one of those people who buys the new game everytime one comes out instead of just playing the same version.

chongyun will make appearances at times, they played mario party together once and it was hilarious. (for the viewers at least, maybe not chongyun though LMAO)

chongyun won and she 1v1ed him in nuketown right afterwards. (hes never won against shenhe again)

“everybody gangsta til chongyun is in the lead.”

chat doesnt understand how you can handle shenhe half the times, but truthfully she just has her own way of expressing her emotions.

for example, she broke one of your controllers playing once, and she drove her ass to best buy at almost midnight to go get you a new one, along with a note saying nothing but “sorry :(“ in the prettiest handwriting youve ever seen.

sometimes you even make her angry on purpose just because its funny, and you know no matter how much it may look like it, she could never get mad at you.

i know i said shenhe was a cod streamer, but imagine also playing apex with her alright? definitely a loba main, and shes literally just as toxic on here as she is on call of duty. 

probably has had 3 xbox accounts banned already.

“no chat i am not saying slurs in general chat, this time at least.”

[jakesuit0]

Video Makers Review

“Video Makers” is probably Adventure Time’s most effective use of its side characters thus far. Pretty much every main and secondary character besides Ice King and Gunter show up. All of Finn and Jake’s closest friends are at movie club: Marceline, BMO, Princess Bubblegum, Lady Rainicorn, Tree Trunks, Lumpy Space Princess, and Shelby. While several of these characters were also in the opening scene of “Power Animal”, this is much more intimate. It’s really cool how each guest gets a unique drink that fits their character. Princess Bubblegum has a sentient candy drink. She uses candy biomass to control her age. This must be how she maintains the body of an eighteen year old despite being about 835 in this episode. I also love her rocking a casual outfit this time. I mentioned in my “Go With Me” review that Finn’s friendships with Marceline and Bubblegum caused them to see each other more frequently. Even though they are sitting apart and not seen chatting, it’s interesting that they both attend a small, weekly get together. Marceline actually gets a couple of lines, making it her only speaking cameo in the first four and a half seasons. 

It’s funny how worried Finn is about adhering to the copyright warning. It totally fits Finn’s character, but obviously it isn’t referring to showing the movie to a few friends. And Jake is right that those laws aren’t in effect anymore. We get our first mention of The Great Mushroom War, another example of significant lore being dropped so casually. It was pretty obvious already that Ooo was post-apocalyptic, especially from “Business Time”, but this was further confirmation for people who hadn’t pieced it together yet. 

I love all the scenes of Finn, Jake, and BMO filming Ooo. It feels like they are making an art movie or a documentary. It does a terrific job capturing the beauty and weirdness of the mundanity in everyday Ooo. Despite Finn and Jake calling it “random junk”, I’d totally watch it. They basically filmed Adventure Time season six. Finn and Jake try to film more structured scenes. The scenes don’t play out the way Finn and Jake intend, causing them to argue over what genre they want their film to be. The way the actors go off script is much more funny and entertaining. Finn and Jake should take their movie less seriously, and just go with the flow. We get appearances from more recurring characters: Slime Princess, Cinnamon Bun, Mr Cupcake, and Peppermint Butler. This episode is a real milestone in Adventure Time’s worldbuilding, showing off a structured world with various established elements they can naturally pull from. Shelby also says his iconic catchphrase, “check please”, for the first time. 

The ending of the episode is fantastic. BMO’s reaction to Finn and Jake feels like a child reacting uncomfortably to their parents arguing. BMO’s song is very touching. In addition to BMO finally getting to tag along with Finn and Jake for an entire episode, it provides his first truly impactful scene, which still holds up as one of his best moments. I like how quickly it causes Finn and Jake to make up, who of course wouldn’t stay mad about this long. Lumpy Space Princess’s intense reactions to all of this are also really funny. She’s eating this drama up. 

Grade: A-