#its really weird bc a lot of times its with music and tv that i don't hear things right

[chailovesu]

Random things u can add to your script if you are manifesting being famous

i think ima separate this into careers

model:

being on the cover of magazines

always knowing when a camera is on you + never have awkward pictures get popular

being considered one of the best new gen models and one of the best of all time

being signed to desired company

being the muse of a very famous designer

very photogenic/videogenic

have an iconic walk that everyone loves

you could be wearing something absolutely hideous but make it look good

singer/rapper:

every single song u make blows up on every platform

kind of rapper/singer that once u feature on a song its ur song now

if u cover a song the cover gets more famous bc it sounds better

popular dance trend being made to your songs

immunity to getting sued for copying a song

perfect stage presence

be able to dance and sing/rap at the same time

constantly be nominated for awards and win

any song u make constantly goes platinum and charts for months

having a song featured in a popular tv show/movie

be good at taking selcas and they always go viral on pinterest

easily hit high notes

unreleased music never gets leaked

being talented on a beyonce level

be invited to perform at places like the superbowl and coachella

be able to write ur own songs with unique lyrics

game streamer:

clips of u playing always go viral

have a connection with your subscribers + be everyones comfort streamer but not in a forced way

be really good at the games u play effortlessly and look good while playing

having merch that always get sold out

being seen as the main streamer for desired games

be entertaining to watch + funny things always happen on stream

subscribers always donate alot of money and give you gifts

collab with other famous streamers + everyone enjoys playing with you

have access to unreleased games early

have partnerships with really big brands

be gifted free games often by companies for promotions

people know u by face AND voice

if u wanna be a faceless streamer at first your face reveal blows up (in a good way not the dream way) and ur subscribers double bc of it

actor/actress:

being fancasted for your favorite cartoon character so much that u act in the live action version of it

always get paid a lot for your roles

have chemistry with your co-workers

be good at all type of acting (voice acting too)

easily attract roles

never get hate for the roles u act

always get awards for your acting

easily be able to do things like cry on command + be able to make your audience feel the emotion through the screen

be a very versatile actor like your range is crazy

applies to all:

seeing edits of yourself by talented editors often

pristine reputation + never being canceled

being that one celebrity that everyone defends like their life depends on it

Immunity to weird ppl finding out abt u

being likable in general any hate you receive just feels so forced

being alot of celebrities ideal type

being everyones celebrity crush

never having your xxxx exposed (or revise never taking any)

eye contact with u makes interviewers nervous like that one jhene aiko clip

people from your past only have good things to say + other celebrities love meeting you and only have good impressions of you

this one applies to acting and singing and modeling but being a highly sought-after person in that field

a fortnite skin? or being featured in your favorite game

still being safe going in public alone + fans respect your privacy

and if ur manifesting being a nepo baby

everyone supports you

in your childhood u were featured in alot of movies/shows (or just in the spotlight often) so people feel like they watched you grow up and adore u

being more famous than your parents + people feel like even if ur parents weren't famous u still would've gotten famous

having famous childhood friends

if i think of more ideas or careers ill make a pt2 but thats probably unlikely idk yet

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

tag from @babyrdie and @greekmythologylover234 .

been a lot of tag games recently huh! thanks for remembering me 🤣

9 people you want to know better

i don't know enough people on here, but i'll be tagging @amnesiaa-on-ice @akhillaous @whorewhouse @naurumii @elnbnt @peggy-sue-reads-a-book

here are the questions to copy-paste:

three ships

first ship

last song

last tv show

currently reading

currently watching

currently eating

currently craving

my answers to them are under the cut so only those who are interested will be reading it (because i'll be yapping) lol

three ships

- patrochilles (duh; probably going to be my favorite, if i'm honest)

- kavetham (admits this semi-shamefully because the rest of the fandom is ass-- but i've left it. glad i did because the recent toxic community will never do me any good. i stressed, i die. simple. was a huge hyperfixation for a year or so though.)

- vashwood (it's been a while, but i really got obsessed with them and the show. watched 1997 once, stampede 3 times, not inclusive of the scattered episodes)

first ship

tbh no idea. it may or may not be solomon and saya from blood+ (great show great show) but i was around 7 when this happened and was just tagging along with whatever my sister had to say about things like these? i'm not a super shippy person either-- i'm not big on these things and certainly a lot less when i was younger. didn't have a lot of interest in couples prolly bc i had no idea what difference it had with friendship. just that you kiss and fuck or something. and i thought that was weird, or well, nothing much to it.

i guess you could say that the first pairing i've ever wanted to defend was zuko and katara from ATLA 🤣 nowadays i understand mai and zuko's relationship and i think it's pretty sweet, but back then i was fixated on zutara chemistry so whee🕺

last song

i haven't been playing music recently since i've been over at my partner's, but "done for" from epic the musical has been playing in my head since i woke up so there's that lol

last tv show

we were looking through netflix for an "easy" show to watch for dinner and got through 2 episodes of the exploding kittens show 🤣 played the game a lot when we got it, plus fond memories of things that happened whilst prompted us to check it out. it's an american tv show i guess, and i've never really vibed with those so it was alright, i guess. the kitties were cute.

currently reading

nothing. finished madeline miller's circe 3 days ago or so, though. my odyssey reading has been suspended for 2 weeks now but i guess it's because i'm pretty much kept up on the plot from randomly reading shit about it on the internet? i'm generally more of a "how did the story go?" person when i get into a book unless i become super obsessed with it. then, i'll dive into the nuances of text and its analysis. which hasn't been happening recently. i'll probably be balls-deep in academic text soon considering i haven't been a good student (our research adviser told us to start doing our thesis papers over the summer holiday so the process will be smoother... guess i'll be disappointing the prof who actually likes me ✊)

currently watching

nothing. finished castlevania (as well as the released season of nocturne) last month and i think that's my quota for shows for a while lol.

currently eating

fast food because the rain started pouring so hard. in time for lunch or so. it was a sign from the lord to spend and have a good time because the world might end tomorrow or something.

currently craving

the other items on the menu i didn't order- kidding lmao. a calzone for some reason, as well as a fizzy drink i usually get from a local cafe run by a nice old lady and youth on the drinks. ok, now i want her pesto sandwich.

ight i'll just eat now brb

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

hiii so i put in a request for the matching thing but you didn’t respond to it so im guessing i didn’t put enough info which i completey understand!!! very sorry about that, i hope ur still doing these requests if not i deeply apologize. anyway pls take ur time so so sorry!!

i’d also like to be matched with someone in pjo pls!

personal info ? 15 yrs old, i’m a girl, she/her(truly idc), bisexual, half mexican (white dad…)

physical: i have medium length wavy brown hair with grown out bangs, im 5’4 average weight, pretty tan, brown eyes, silver circle glasses, i wear smudgy eyeliner w/mascara, i either wear tank tops with big pants or big t shirt with shorts

personality: i’m honestly very weird with the people im close with, like very. i have brainrot humor so im always saying weird ass shit acting like it’s normal. i’m also very sarcastic and if im not very close with someone i give them like 0 reaction i guess? idk ppl tell me im nonchalant but that sounds rlly corny 😬 anyway im very embarrassing in public when im with my friends and they hate it but i think its funny idc!! im also pretty moody but im just a teenage girl!!!!!!! i dont get mad that easily tho like i can take a joke i just get ANNOYED easily but then ill be fine in a few minutes. also ppl tell me im very funny so 😇 meat riding myself YES IM A NO SABO KID I AM TRYING TO LEARN SOANISH.

hobbies/intrests: love love love listening to music, love tv girl, tyler, mitski, arctic monkeys, the smiths, depeche mode, the cure, lana, tame impala, beabadoobee and so many other generes and artists but i only know like 2 songs 😬

i also had a severe fnaf phase, avatar the last airbender, spiderverse, saiki, and obvi percy jackson

currently OBSESSED with slushy noobz they are my whole personality they are how i act. along with avascreams on tiktok ive literally had 6 different ppl tell me “you know that one girl on tiktok?? you act just like her” IM TRILY NOT EVEN TRYING TO ACT LIKE HER I SWEAR. also love sam and colby i full heartedly believe in ghosts just watch ima become a ghost hunter 😊😊

as of right now my hobbies are playing stardew valley and never getting my homework done, i also love to draw but im not very good at it. i also love painting but i haven’t done it in a while bc of school :(( i take piano lessons as well but again, not very good even after 5 years. i rlly like reading too but again bc of school i haven’t read as much lately, love playing with my pets (dog and cat) they’re so cute i love animals so so much i want more but yknow im busy, ive also gotten into working out bc im tryna lose this face fat🫥

likes: love carnival rides!!!! they’re so fun i love the fair SO MUCH. beautiful atmosphere truly. the zipper is so fun don’t let anyone lie to you. nature, i love going on walks in the woods but i can’t bc i don’t live near any😔 food i love food, korean, mexican, american, japanese, i love it all. english class! teacher is so sweet i love her and its also easy and boring so

dislikes: six flags. i hate roller coasters. annoying ppl like bruh stfu up OH MY GOD. when my mom asks me about college, leave me alone pls!

okay i truly don’t know what else to put i hope this was enough 😓😓

-faith 👐

Hey Faith, I am so so sorry that this took incredibly long to complete. I’ve been insanely busy these few months and lots of personal stuff going on so I really hope that this does it justice! And also also don’t be sorry I’m really sorry that this took so long

Your PJO ship: Leo Valdez 🔥🔥🔥 (man I’m jealous)

Explanation: honestly the best way I can explain this is that you’re crazy totally matches his crazy. Your freak matches his freak. is somebody gonna match my freak? Yes, someone will match your freak and that person is Leo. Starting off with your physical appearance, I think that he would be very attracted to you and I think you give a vague match of his mom like I feel like you look like his mom a little little bit, which is what kind of drew him to you in the first place I feel like he probably saw you in a crowd and his jaw dropped. He just thought that you were your clothing style. He also liked your eyeliner which he had you do on him whenever you guys got comfortable enough in the relationship he was like hey can I please have your make up routine done on me? He looked rlly hot but anyway- you guys are just so chaotic together with your personality like you match him so well I feel like Leo in order to make a relationship work with him. He needs to have someone that’s either vastly different than him or the same because I mean, I just see you guys as Deadpool and Vanessa, you guys so chaotic in public you guys would do so much embarrassing shit together and social anxiety would be afraid of both of you combined, a deadly duo. Whenever you were first getting to know each other, and you were more relaxed and chill around him less if you’re crazy with showing, that’s what kind of Drew him like he thought that your dynamic could be that you would kind of be more opposites, but then he slowly realize that you were just as fucking goofy and silly as him, and he would have a blast with you as you guys got further on into your even like just friendship that eventually turn into romance. You guys always have the funniest times together like I’m not joking. You guys would be the couple to go out with if you wanted a good time because you guys just yeah you’re chaotic and glorious and also really freaking funny and I mean yeah. (I would also like to let you know to do a deeper dive into your personality. I did research some of the people you mentioned that you were compared to and watched some of their videos and subjected myself to the painful amount of puns and batshit crazy, honestly I’m pretty impressed if people are comparing you) as for your hobbies, he would love playing Stardew Valley and I feel like he would romance. Sebastian don’t ask me why, but I just feel like he would. He would totally want Sebastian as I don’t know why OK I really don’t. I really don’t but anyway that’s just my personal theory. But he would love playing Stardew with you. He’s also a procrastinator when it comes to homework and work and taking things seriously in general so you guys would be quite the interesting duo and I feel like U2 would just end up making out during study date so if you want someone to study with? He’s probably not the best person. Also, I think that he would love your art and would be absolutely obsessed. If you ever did any artwork of him or just inspired by him like he would love that he would frame that shit he would brag to everyone about how good you are and same goes with piano he’s obsessed even if you think you weren’t very good after five years of playing he thinks you’re magnificent. It took everything in him to not compare you to Apollo because he knew that that would probably get you like blasted into the sky or something, but he just thinks anything that comes from you is good basically. That’s Leo Math.

You + Anything= Good.

He can never read very much because of his ADHD. I just feel like he would lose interest in books really easily unless they’re really exciting or exactly what he’s being into at this point, so I feel like he would get the being too busy to read. He also loves animals. He would absolutely snuggle all the pets in the world. I feel like he just loves animals. I feel like he especially loves dogs because they match his energy and he’s definitely like a golden retriever guy or maybe a Chihuahua guy one of them anyway dogs are very Leo core. Also, he thinks your chubby face is cute, and while he promotes working out for the healthiness of it, he thinks you have the wrong motivation if you want to get rid of that cute squeezable cheeks. (Multiple cheeks if ykwim) he also loves carnival rides and he’s a huge foodie so if you ever went out to him, you guys would end up eating more than your stomachs and belts can handle I mean yeah you guys would just be done if you ever went out to eat because he would order so much food and then I feel like because of his ADHD he’d be midway eating through another thing and then see other stand and be like babe. We gotta go there next. basically you guys would be extremely full. He also likes nature walks. I think that he kind of just likes the dirt of it because he’s definitely not afraid to get dirty and he loves just poking around nature I mean, I honestly that’s how I see him going on hikes like he’d pick up slugs, he do all kinds of like gross stuff. People normally wouldn’t do like I don’t know, letting a worm crawl on his arm or something.  anyway you guys totally match each other crazy and match each other’s freak yes just like the song, and I really ship it 💕💓💗💞💗💞

[old-stoneface]

saw ur tags, what was growing up in a spiritual school like?

hmmm... it was like a hybrid of things. i describe it as "spiritual" bc its maybe the easiest shorthand for what it was like. so, i went to a private waldorf school on the east coast from preschool through fourth grade, and thats a school heavily focused on enriching children's lives thru art and music and religious teachings, but not really...any religious teachings in particular. i learned christian stories, norse and greek mythology, and there was a heavy focus on learning folktales/fairytales in early grades. we would celebrate springtime with maypole dances, and every september we would have a michaelmas festival with a play by several of the classes (there was one class per grade) showing how st michael tamed the dragon that attacked the village. in the winter months we would do a lantern walk and see a small reenactment of st martin giving his cloak to a vagrant. so my younger formative years were surrounded by depictions of various religions. as u can imagine, that sort of environment was populated by a certain type of person, which is the type of person my mother turned into. there was a lot of support for crystal healing, a lot of eurythmy classes (a form of interpretive dance is the best description, i think), every class did a play every year and we all memorized poems about the rocks and leaves and sun and sky and how they were all alive and caring for us...we drew form drawings. instead of regular classes we would study one subject for a month at a time for several hours in the morning, drawing full color illustrations and writing stories on nice pieces of paper and binding them into books at the end of each block of studies. i grew up with a huge respect for nature and a great tonal and cultural disconnect from public school. waldorf instilled in me my love of art and music and theater. my biggest special interest is STILL mythology, and i reguarly think about/reference the teachings from my elementary school years even now. however, for as much as i loved it, i also feel very...um. isolated from mainstream society. i didnt watch any tv at all, i wasnt allowed on the internet or any computer for years, i only played with other kids at waldorf, and so now i have very little cultural connection with many other people my age. its weird! but waldorf very much helped me become the kind of person i am now, and while im disillusioned from most of those teachings about pseudosciences, i still believe in stuff like the instrinsic beauty of nature and the healing properties of the arts. the worst part of private arts and spiritual-type schools is always going to be the fact that you have to pay a whole lot of fucking money to go there.

tldr; the spiritual school i went to from the ages of 4 to 11 turned me into an artist who loves mythology and nature and poetry, but it also isolated me from mainstream society and caused a lot of pain and confusion when i began going to public school. 7/10

[eve-is-obsessed]

eve's media roundup: january

January was perhaps the longest month of all time. not in a bad way, just... it was long.

books

Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula Le Guin: my first Le Guin, loved it, worldbuilding was compelling, themes were amazing, prose was to die for. Genly and Estraven's relationship broke me. 5/5 stars to start the year off strong

The Dragon Reborn by Robert Jordan (Wheel of Time 3): I really enjoyed most of this book, found one plotline boring and got annoyed at the ending. overall a solid read though, 4/5 stars

The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal: this was a very "what you see is what you get" book. it was fun, not really groundbreaking in its discussion of sexism and racism in STEM but still nice. the sex scenes were, um. there were a lot of rocket innuendos. 3.5/5 stars

House of Chains by Steven Erikson (Malazan 4): absolute banger, my favorite Malazan book so far except I have beef with the ending. 4/5 stars

tv/movies

y'all I actually watched things this month. multiple of them.

Wheel of Time season 2: BANGER. this is the only thing on this list I watched on my own, and it's SO GOOD.

My Neighbor Totoro: I hadn't watched this since elementary school. adorable movie

Ponyo: likewise

Saltburn: what the fuck was that, incredible.

Doctor Who: watched some random episodes with my roommate, enjoyed way more than I expected.

A Whisker Away: huh??? I didn't even finish this movie but the premise is a teenage girl can turn into a cat and go hang out with her crush (who doesn't like her back) in cat form and it was weird. cute cats though

Love Island UK: I never would have watched this on my own but it was fun with friends, and we did get invested

Hot Fuzz: I did not like this movie. there were some funny bits but I couldn't bring myself to care about any aspect of it. I guess the bromance was kind of fun.

music

these album covers together are very visually pleasing. good job me.

closure (demos) by Zeph: a lot of them are short and loopable which is why it has so many plays

Stick Season by Noah Kahan: finally succumbed to the winter gloominess

In the End It Always Does by The Japanese House: I find this funny bc I only listened to two songs on this album this month, I just listened to them a lot. (Touching Yourself and Spot Dog)

bury me at makeout creek by Mitski: again, winter angst, young woman angst, all that good stuff

Snow Angel by Renee Rapp: this album is just all bangers, it has everything - gay panic, yearning, devastation, grief... obsessed

misc

Baldur's Gate 3: I am making the slowest progress known to man, currently in the Underdark and enjoying it. I just did the creche and really liked it bc I love Lae'zel

ok see you next month

[fauslayer]

tbh I'm always interested in whatever headcanons you have for anything ever because they're always pretty interesting, anything in particular you want to bring up? Go for it!

thats really kind of you to say 🥺 thank u izzy....

ive been thinking about the Blue Thing 🔵 recently...funneled some of my energy into doodles so i could try to refine what i want to talk about uwa

im actually not sure how much of his deal is possible to gleam from just me being strange the past couple of weeks but for awesome primer bc i love talking about things. sugary spire is a swap au and upcoming fangame for pizza tower starring pizzelle, a nervous, married, and transgender pastry chef at the end of her rope, and "the" pizzano, a baking show host and tv network owner/personality who

uh

well i think this^ is a good enough explanation.

there is no way this man isnt autistic. anyways i like to think he stims by biting his hand like normal peppino does in his idles, but a lot of actual damage is held back by the fact that he wears his gloves all the time. theyre probably made out of some kind of rubbery material (at least on the outside), either purposefully or coincidentally nice to chew. he mostly does this when hes alone or at least off camera; its a whole "image" thing that honestly irritates him.

same with singing! singing is one of his big passions in my eyes (if we get to treat the weird website song hunt arg as canon, i would like to use that as proof that he loves music; enough to get fiercely paranoid about it, even), which fits bc i like. absorbed the headcanon that peppino has a special interest in dance music/mostly eurodance specifically and loves dancing (hence his schmoovement). pizzano has strong opera pipes and loves to sing while he works but he has the lungpower of a boeing plane engine and the projection ability of a car alarm and hence doesnt get to hit his full stride on the air often. he wants to get involved with opera production but they probably think hes too silly or bad for the image. sadge .(

i think ive said a little bit on the subject of pizzanos Accoutrements in the past. i dont think he takes them off. its beneficial for the network presence! its marketable! it covers up very vulnerable and/or identifiable parts of him. despite The Fire being completely nuked from canon i still hc him as going through some kind of fucked up physical trauma event (i still say a fire, just not that one, dont really have a specific idea) so hes got prominent scarring on his face and hands. even besides the Unspecified Cluster B Paranoia he doesnt like the idea of anyone catching his scars on camera. sometimes hell just hole himself up in his room for days because hes freaked out.

he cries easy and switches moods on a dime and is generally kind of someone that should have more concern thrown his way but most of this is covered up by the fact that hes relatively expected to be Wacky and Violent and Loves Incendiary Weaponry!! hes 100% unmedicated because he doesnt like the way any of his pills have tasted for the things hes bothered to get diagnosed (ptsd, adhd) and is a little freaked out of doctors outside of like, first aid medics

thank you for letting me talk about my guy 🥺

[vampiremilfs]

hiiii <3 big ask big answer is what i'm expecting would LOVE to know your top 5/faves across various media that are new(in release or just new to you) this year! so: shows, movies, games, books, songs/albums, new artists you've discovered etc

OMG AAAAA I LOVE THIS ASK

brief comment i wanted to make, but this was the year i finally took control of my mental health and went to go see someone about it so congratulations to me for finally breaking down the wall of "im fine" and allowing myself to admit that i could use some help. that aside, lets get into it! beware, possible spoilers

MOVIES

1. Nope (dir. Jordan Peele) - this movie surprised me so much and reflects a LOT of my views on performative/spectacle-like behavior in front of the Camera and the effects things like hollywood or social media could potentially have on people...not going to get into that but i just liked the movie alot okay

2. X (dir. Ti West) - love me some camp. love mia goth. i also really liked Pearl and cannot WAIT for MaXXXine, i am so ready

3. Cruel Intentions (dir. Roger Kumble) - i dont think 2022 was the first year i watched Cruel Intentions but everytime i watch it, it feels like something brand new...i am so compelled to read the book that its based on like seriously

4. Turning Red (dir. Domee Shi) - this is the only Disney movie that exists to me...the mother-daughter relationship portrayed here is just so personal

5. Kiki’s Delivery Service (dir. Hayao Miyazaki) - yeah im extremely late to watching this lol. i watched literally every other ghibli film growing up but somehow, in some way, skipped over Kiki. so i watched it over the summer as an adult and needless to say...yeah i missed out as a kid asjashd

6. American Psycho (dir. Mary Harron) - this is the funniest film ive seen this whole year. im not even kidding

TV SHOWS

1. Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul - never thought id enjoy a show about a middle-aged white male turning to meth production to make ends meet and becoming the most annoying character ever created, but here we are. loved it, and literally EVERYONE around walt deserved so much better (jesse, gus, johnny/saul, mike, skylar, marie, hank)

2. Ranma 1/2 - ive taken a break from watching new anime this year and started diving into older ones. i love ranma simply bc its a bit ahead of its time and is just so easy to digest. just a fun little show!!! a great way to take my mind off of shit

3. The Sandman - just found out recently that this was a DC comic so congrats to DC for successfully infiltrating my anti-superhero visual barrier LOL. anyways i am in dire NEED of the next season

4. You - PENN BADGLEY. thats all im going to say. im a huge fan of Gossip Girl (2007) and as soon as i saw him playing the lead character i RAN to watch the first season when it dropped. was not disappointed

5. The Witcher - ive never played the game lol but the show is so good...im not a fan of GoT (and therefore will never watch HotD) so this show p much fills the dark fantasy void for me

6. Bridgerton - im so glad i got over my weird distaste and finally gave this show a try...i see the hype, i see it!! and the show itself is so beautiful to look at, despite being historically innacurate or whatever

7. Gossip Girl (2007) - ive watched and rewatched this show a grand total of maybe like....20 times in my life total. rewatched it again this year. all six seasons. it never gets old despite being the most ridiculous insipid shit ever. im also currently watching the new version, and while i love the cast and maybe the soundtrack, it doesnt match up to the campy and fun vibe that the first one had. it takes itself way too seriously and the plot is almost nonexistent lol

but anyway, lets move on to music!! im skipping over books bc i have currently finished NONE from the book haul i had back in october.

MUSIC

just gonna list out a bunch of songs that have carried me thru the last half of this year :]

ass like that victoria monet / bang (my body) chase icon / meta angel fka twigs / wish i never kehlani / king for a day pierce the veil, kellin quinn / pass the nirvana pierce the veil / antagonist nova twins / gibson girl ethel cain / like a tattoo sade / the perfect pair beabadoobee / so it goes tamino / daybreak’s bell l’arc-en-ciel / colors flow / distant tevomxntana, cayo / grapefruit tove lo

sorry if this is extremely long. thanks for asking!!!!!! ❤️

[gnomebud]

eulie can i ask you to pitch trigun to me. i know nothing about it other than 1. blonde guy with cool red jacket. 2. bigolas dickolas? it sounds interesting and i see it everywhere- what do you like about it? is it a movie? tv show? help

[cracks knuckles] hi emma i'm finally done with finals and moving out and am home and ready to answer this. okay so

elevator trigun pitches:

the most pathetic guy you've ever seen goes through the horrors in a big desert. there's big worms and cowboys and cosmic body horror and guns

two insurance agents/reporters are having the weirdest job assignment of their life following around a walking natural disaster

aforementioned insurance agents:

wow! can one man really have allegories for this many people from the bible? you bet!

gay people on a couch

the transmascs stay winning fancam

knives? like, millions? (-- @whale-blanket)

the kindest guy you've ever seen is so determined to be kind even when everyone else wants him not to be

ok. actual reply. blond guy with cool red jacket is vash the stampede, the main character of trigun! he is a very good guy who is committed to pacifism and is constantly going through the horrors because of um. an evil twin brother (it’s complicated). he's joined by two insurance girls who are trying to keep him from doing more damage than he normally accidentally causes (or, in trigun stampede, two reporters) and a totally normal priest with a totally normal cross.

trigun is a manga (also referred to as trigun maximum bc most of the volumes are published under that title) that has been adapted into two anime: the first is the '98 trigun that aired before most of the manga was released and the second is trigun stampede, which is probably largely what you have seen me posting and which had its first season air this year! i mostly really care about trigun stampede and trigun maximum!

bigolas dickolas refers to nicholas d wolfwood who is one of the characters of all time. i'm normal about him. he's a totally normal priest/undertaker with a totally normal cross. he doesn't have secrets at all. don't worry about it. it also refers to twitter user maskofbun's tweet about this is how you lose the time war that managed to skyrocket the novel to best-selling again by sheer virtue of their audience of trigun enjoyers buying it

i got into trigun stampede as it was airing and got to watch new episodes with friends, which was really really fun, and i think it's a great introduction to the whole canon! stampede rearranges a lot of stuff from trigun maximum but does so in a really fun way. it's a little confusing at first but a really fun time! and the music is incredible! i was literally motivated to watch the first ep by the transmascs stay winning fancam -- took one look at that guy and was like i need to know everything about him. vash is possibly the blorbo of all time. once stampede s1 ended i read all of trigun & trigun maximum (trigun overhaul on tumblr is the place to do that if you're interested!) and absolutely fell in love with the whole thing even more. trigun has really interesting stuff about violence, humanity, family, love, what it means to be a monster, etc. that made me love it SO much. and the art is so so so cool! even if fight scenes are kind of incomprehensible. every character in trigun is so interesting and the whole story is so cool and makes me SO sad and contemplative. it's been the only thing in my brain for nearly 6 months. trigun...

in short: watch trigun stampede ! extremely good animation, cool intro to trigun, great music, and there is a guy with millions of knives. it's a space western! it's scifi! it's weird! you get to be endlessly sad about some guys! yay!

[xensergal]

Xen "Octavia" Sergal Goes On A Very Stupid And Long Rant About Her Favourite Show Helluva Boss Because She Needs To Get This Shit Off Her Chest ASAP™: The Movie.

This is a long, long ass fucking rant about this show. i will type shit as it comes up in my head. i dont care if my takes are "trash" or "shit" or whatever. its my tumblr and i get to choose whats posted here. ok.

its actually fucking insane how my 2 favourite shows are on near complete opposites to each other on the surface. you have an impossibly perfectly written show with 0 bad episodes and the greatest characters to ever be on TV (Breaking Bad), and then you have a 15-20m per episode comedy/musical/drama on youtube (Helluva Boss). but this isnt about me comparing BrBa to HB, its just about HB.

i have a lot to say about this show. a lot i really, REALLY couldnt get out due to twitter character limits/not really having many friends who watch helluva boss, so tumblr gets my full thoughts, straight from the top of my head. right as theyre being produced. enjoy.

Stuff

the premise of this show is pretty damn cool. a comedy/musical/drama about a bunch of imps in hell who start up an assassination business to make ends meet, while also yknow shenanigans n other shit happens like complicated love trigonometry, bc hey its a show you cant 1 thing forever bc thatd be stale *cough* SITCOMS *cough* and repetitive and would be a shit show, this isnt a shit show. its one of the best ive ever seen. but back to what i was saying. the show has a fantastic premise with good plot and cool characters i will get to in just a moment. i rewatched all of whats been uploaded for this post. to refresh my thoughts and finally, get all this shit off my chest which ive been needing to for all this time.

O YEA OBV SPOILERS FOR ALLLL OF HELLUVA BOSS DUHHHHHHHHHH

Pilot

this is 3 years old and damn does it show. the animation is very stiff (but still, well made) compared to later episodes, and especially 1 which ill get into later. but the pilot does a great job and introducing the viewer to the main characters of the show, those being Blitzo (Brandon Rogers), Moxxie (Richard Horvitz), Millie, and Loona (both Erica Lindbeck). all with weird, and fucked up relationships with eachother. M&M are a married couple (gross), Loona is a complete whore with syphilis, and Blitzo is her adoptive Father whos also a complete perv who stalks M&M at their house. its fun! its a good plot with good characters and its pretty damn funny. theres also a major supporting character introduced in this episode, Stolas (Brock Baker). i love him, youll see why very soon.

the pilot isnt without its issues tho, the pacing is complete ass with flashbacks inside of flash backs and its just, man idk its fucked up dude i dont like it. weird shit.

7.5/10, good shit, good opening to HB

Murder Family // S1: Episode 1

good episode! damn after a year of waiting after the pilot for something new people surely had high expectations and id say E1 followed, its pretty good.

plot wise it follows I.M.P on a job to kill some bitch n yknow shenanigans n whatnot moxxie fucks it up because hes a bitch and people almost die but moxxie saves em in the end its good and i like it!

some stuff changed from the pilot, mainly voice actors. Erica Lindbeck no longer plays both Millie and Loona, just Loona. meanwhile Millies new VA is Vivian Nixon and shes pretty good! Millie has more of a southern accent now which will make sense in a future episode. however Stolas also had a VA change, Bryce Pinkham. its flawless and makes me love Stolas even more, you will see why.

8/10 episode, great shit. much better than the pilot.

Loo Loo Land // S1: Episode 2

words cannot describe how much i love this episode. its flawless.

saying something is flawless is big, really big, but i do feel like this one is. and its all thanks to the opening sequence. the opening sequence makes the audience do a complete 180 about what they thought of a character, no longer is stolas just "a rich, important figure in hell who is extemely gay for blitzo" hes that, plus a loving and devoted father. and the music, its perfection. its the highlight of the whole moment alongside the beautiful visuals and deep character development. and on the subject of characters. Stolas #1 comfort character.

this episode introduces quite a few, the first 2 youll see are Octavia (Barrett Wilbert Weed), Stolas' daughter and Literally Me™, and also Stella (Georgina Leahy), Stolas' arranged wife who wants him dead as hell with NO shoes on in the casket for fucking blitzo. shes hot. very hot. girlboss. shes mean to Stolas tho :(

this episodes plot is cool too. I.M.P make an exception for Stolas and are hired to be bodyguards for the day at a theme park oh joy a theme park how whimsical and fun loving! oh goody! everything is on fire by the end of the episode! splendid!

but like yeaa dude this episode slaps, great plot great characters great shit, O YEA CHARACTERS i forgot about Fizzarolli (Alex Brightman) hes in this episode too, at least a robot version of him. Blitzo and Octavia hate him, thats cool.

10/10, i think this is the best episode of HB released so far. it also has Wally Wackford (Don Darryl Rivera)

Wally Wackford Counter: 1

Spring Broken // S1: Episode 3

oh damn! another banger! lets keep this good episode streak going!

this episodes also great. not as great as E2, but still great.

I.M.P get their parking spot stole by Verosika Mayday (Cristina "Vee" Valenzuela) whos a famous popstar in hell (thats why theyre in hell because they listen to pop and pop sucks listen to metal instead youll also go to hell but for a much cooler reason) and just happens to be Blitzo's ex girlfriend. so Blitzo challenges her to a duel where he bets I.M.P can kill more people than Verosika can fuck by the end of the day an who wins gets the parking spot (spoiler alert blitzo wins bc ofc, plot demands it) and then shenanigans lol.

i really dont have much to say about this one other than i like it, verosika is hot, drunk moxxie is funny, and that hehehoo sex joke. O YEA the musics good too its very good

9/10. banger

C.H.E.R.U.B // S1: Episode 4

i hate this episode. i really really hate it.

nearly everything which couldve went poorly, did. and i dont like that. let me explain.

the plot is okay, I.M.P go to kill a trillionaire. good! thats cool! fuck billionaires and especially fuck trillionaires. meanwhile a competitor, C.H.E.R.U.B, is trying to stop this guy from ending his life. and I.M.P cant have that so they convince him to fuckin die already lol. its fine but how the episode executes this is atrocious. you could easily skip through this one and go onto E5 anyway, this plot adds nothing to the current overarching storyline. yet.

for comedy, pacing and the actual joke is everything. especially if your main writer for this episode (at least by order of appearance in credits) has been doing comedy skits on youtube for many, many years now. no offense to Brandon Rogers, hes phenomenal, but this episodes pacing and jokes are trash. the pacing goes as follows:

Beginning plot development/jokes - meeting the competitors/jokes - joke - joke - joke - fight - joke - end joke. its trash and doesnt work at all imo. the jokes fall flat and its not well paced at all.

however there is 1 more point i want to bring up about not just the episode, but the show in general. regarding moxxie and the things which happen to him. moxxie in this show is essentially a less depressed Squidward Tentacles. this sounds fucking insane but Let Me Explain. the writing has him treated like a fucking punching bag for jokes and/or plot development. in E3, this was for plot development. he got stuffed in a beer keg and nearly got ate by a monster fish. this episode it was for no reason whatsoever. he just, got hurt and thats the joke. the joke is moxxie got hurt. thats it. next episode does it worse, ill get to it.

but anyway, this episode was shit but i liked the fight scene in it, that was cool.

4/10, trash but the fight was good. it also has wally wackford.

Wally Wackford Counter: 2

The Harvest Moon Festival // S1: Episode 5

wow.

when this episode first released, i didnt think much of it. i believe i said it was about an 8/10ish or something like that. rewatching it, i couldnt have been more wrong.

this episode has some fan-fucking-tastic plot. and it just might be the best plot driven episode to date. maybe E7 gives it a run for its money, maybe.

the plot is as follows, Stolas invites I.M.P to the wrath ring for a day off for the harvest moon festival. here we get to meet Millies parents Lin (Su Jan Chase) and Joe (Edward Bosco), but also Striker, whos played by Norman Fucking Reedus from video game kojima. and my GOD he fucking slays the role. besides Bryce Pinkham as Stolas, Norman Reedus as Striker has to be my personal favourite Voice in the show. its fucking fantastic.

however there is 1 character i do have to mention in particular, Sallie May (Morgana Ignis).

Why her in particular? she only has a few lines! yea true, however it gives me an opportunity to talk about the shows flawless LGBTQ+ representation. In Sallie's case, shes Transgender. you can tell the gender of an Imp by the pattern on the horns, millie for example has mostly black horns with thin white stripes, a sign of being AFAB. Moxxie and Sallie however have even sized black and white horn stripes, a sign of being AMAB. but what about other characters?

(these are all from memory so forgive me if any are wrong)

Blitzo is Pansexual

Moxxie and Millie are both Bisexual

Stolas is Gay

Stella and Octavia are currently unconfirmed (i think) tho i headcanon them both as Lesbian because i can.

Striker is also probably Gay i mean have you seen him talking to blitzo like cmon

(also funny side note i should add the VA's for Stella and Sallie, Georgina and Morgana respectively, both ship their characters together i think thats pretty fuckin cool i feel like i just have to mention that somewhere)

theres def a lot more ive missed, however these are the ones which come to mind. their sexuality/gender identity is never forced in your face, its never too painfully obvious that theyre gay for the sake of it, its pretty much flawless representation and i feel more shows should take a thing or 2 from HB in this aspect

Gushing over Norman Reedus amd LGBTQ+ rep aside, the plot revolves around a yearly game of strength in the harvest festival where blitzo and striker (among many others) compete in together. also tangent time

LETS COUNT HOW MANY TIMES MOXXIE GETS FUCKED BY A SHARK

3. thats 3 times. again, punching bad. what did moxxie do to you, anyway tangent over.

anyway striker competes in the games to gain the trust of I.M.P to stab them in the back by killing their gateway into the living world, Stolas. and you wouldnt believe who hired him (at least i didnt when first watching), Stella. anyway moxxie finds out, shit goes down, they fight, striker gets away. moxxie finally gains the trust of millies parents, big reveal, episode end. banger fucking plot and its just so damn good.

remember how i said the animation in this show gets really gooood,,this is the episode i was thinkin about when writing that. this episode has hands down the best animation (aside maybe the finale of E6) overall of any episode. with cool panorama shots which go around the whole charaters, n shit like that its great.

banger song too, striker did a sing and its good.

10/10, a great episode, but still a weaker 10/10 than E2. it also has Wally Wackford

Wally Wackford Counter: 3

Truth Seekers // S1: Episode 6

I barely remember anything from this episode, and at the time of writing, i only watched it five minutes ago.

so the plot is like, blitzo and moxxie get captured by crazy conspiracy guys called D.H.O.R.K.S (haha dorks) and its up to Da Girlz™ to save em meanwhile Da Boyz™ get truth gassed and spill a bunch of plot shit and its good i dont remember what exactly they said but its a fuckin good scene the animation is great with a unique visual style bc theyre hallucinating and OOOOOOOH the hallucination song its a fucking bop i love it (This is a good time to mention for anyone who yet doesnt know Sam Haft has put a bunch of the songs hes wrote for HB on Spotify, they may be just covers, but theyre still fucking great.) but anyway the fuckin, fight scene when millie and loona catch up to moxxie and blitzo is gahhdamn fuckin beautiful its so well animated n shit and then ya just got

Demon Stolas.

because fuck yes.

anyway yea good episode i guess plots good everythings good its just, i forget about this episode so often im convinced its not real

6/10, banger, just wish it wasnt so forgettable

OZZIE'S // S1: Episode 7 - FINALE PART I

rewatching this episode hurts. i cant put it into words how, its just a lot of fucked up shit to take in at once and i really do not want to write about this because its late and im tired so ill keep it fucking simple

Blitzo fucks everything up by using a fake date with Stolas as a cover to stalk M&M on their 1 year anniversary of their wedding, but then moxxie breaks into song and Asmodeus (James Monroe Iglehart) does not like that one bit so he and fizzarolli fuckin rip him a new asshole meanwhile blitzo interferes and gets both him and stolas into shit and my GOD this is where it gets depressing.

this song, despite it being a banger, is depressing as shit. i cant stand it, i cant stand how it treats blitzo and stolas

the shitty choices theyve made...

the people theyve thrown away...

its all coming back to them in song form. and it fucking sucks for them.

but m&m are doin okay ig they fuckin, hit fizz over the head and continued their song after that shit its all good for them tho ig or smthn idk im tired.

10/10, a phenomenal ending to the 1st season of one of the greatest adult animated shows ever written. it also has Wally Wackford.

Wally Wackford Counter: 4

THE CIRCUS // S2: Episode 1

damn i like this episode

i like the blitzo backstory with how he and fizz used to be before they now hate eachother, with how he met stolas and became his first friend. with everything really. its a great episode and like

damn its good idk what to say im tired its just a good episode.

Johnathan Freeman does a good job as Paimon, stolas' dad too even tho hes a shitty dad.

ok yea plot tho, it takes place like ~25 years before the pilot which is neat i like backstories. but like, paimon literally bought blitzo just so stolas could have a friend so he didnt need to be a father to him thats just. man i dont like that. blitzo and stolas are so cute tho i like them. uuuh fuckin, more stella content too shes back still a girlboss still hot, still mean to stolas :( you can tell im tired cant you lemme just say a thing

WAIT I FORGOT THE SONG AT THE END the song at the end is so goood i love it. idk if i like it more than You Will Be Okay but i like it its good i like it thats all i can really say rn. i could say more if i wasnt tired but im tired.

9/10, good shit, good backstory, good good good good episode.

SEEING STARS // S2: Episode 2

i have. so much to say about this. too many words to fit into tumblrs infinite character limit. but ill keep it brief because i want to

you have no idea, how long, i have waited for this to happen. just one scene between Octavia and Loona. just one, and now i have it. i am complete.

i saw this post which talked about star and moon symbolism between octavia and loona and it made me realise, holy shit, there is gonna be so much more octavia and loona content in future episodes if all this isnt a coincidence. and i am ready for it all.

i could talk about the rest of the episode if i wanted too, but i dont. i only want to talk about these perfect 2 minutes between these characters. i do think this is the best moment in the entire show so far. seeing a headcanon that youve had for so long (in this case loona and via being friends) become true, it connects with you in a way that not much else can.

and i dont care about the rest of the episode. not one bit. not right now anyway. i just want this moment, forever.

10/10. a good episode all around, and a truly, perfect moment. it also has Wally Wackford.

Wally Wackford Counter: 5

and damn thats like, all of helluva boss so far. ive been writing this for like 7h now becasue tumblr keeps breaking for me and i keep having to write anything all over again. god im tired. but im so glad to finally get all this off my chest after years of not really having anywhere to gush about this show. it means a lot to me, more than what people think. and i dont know where i would be without it, literally.

"but whats with the wally wackford counter" its there because its funny and hes a funny character.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

i actually always have weird dreams about whatever media im stupidly obsessed with and that acosf dream reminded of this one that i had that was actually so weird that it momentarily snapped me out of my obsession

so im a big fan of elisabth: das musical which is a musical about empress elisabeth of austria, idk how familiar your average presumably american tumblrperson is with her but shes a big cultural icon in germany and austria so obviously they made a musical about her. but whatever, all you really need to know for the sake of this post is that elisabeth has a son called rudolf and theres a gnc af personification of death/everyones suicidal thoughts kickin around. Death is my favorite character bc if im weirdly obsessed with him and him only thats technically not rpf, and then rudolf is my favorite non-death character even though he only gets 3 songs and a dance number during which he kills himself. and basically the main reason for that is that hes got a lot of homoerotic tension w/ death because death is a romqntic character and he has suicidal thoughts so obviously theres a spark there. Thats not actually relevant to my dream i just needed to tell you bc anytime someone talks about this musical i feel like theyre like "oh its about this woman having a romance with the hot and sexy grim reaper" "oh the emperor of austria gets cucked by a guy who looks like THIS" and thats all true but also, idk man go on youtube and type in mayerling walzer and watch some of the videos and tell me what you think, content warning for suicide, guns and gay shit

anyway, so the dream that I had was a tv show, i wasnt like watching it, i did bot exist in that dream my mind was basically a streaming service. Its a full episode of a cw/abc family type show, for some reason i get once upon a time vibes from it even though ive never watched that show, but i only remember the very end, all I remember about the rest of the episode was that it was rudolf (whos the pov character btw i havent mentioned that yet) going around a bunch of places trying to solve some kind of mystery. And the very last place he ended up at the end of the episode was in front of my catholic elementary school, catholic in the sense that it was right next to a catholic church and was named after that church i dont think we learned much more about religion than your average "secular" elementary school. Now, the school was a little bit behind the church and between the two buildings theres this gap where the ground is all cobblestone and theres a fountain that doesnt work and some bushes and benches and irl theres a busstop there with one of those electrical signs, but since this dream took place in the 1880s there wasnt a busstop yet. so rudolf comes to this kind of inbetween space and goes up to this big person-sized copper jesus statue (which is accurate to real life btw) and Im sure this is meant to be some heavy-handed symbolism or visual metaphor or something but unfortunately i dont have the context of this tv show that my brain made up so i cant be sure. he stands there for a while, not really doing anything until an older woman suddenly approaches him. And that woman? queen victoria. yknow, like victorian england. whatever, shes like the catty woman antagonist of this show and she and rudolf have this really vague and passive agressive confrontation, i dont remember anything they said, just that it was passive aggressive bc thats how royals b like i guess. But somehow through the vague bullshit theyre saying the audience finds out aboutvthe big shocking end-of-episode twist: rudolf is not elisabeths child, hes actually victorias child. They did a baby switcheroo. for some reason. and then it CUTS TO BLACK

And I wake up and im like "huh. maybe i should stop thinking about that musical so much"

[captainadwen]

random ff7 remake thoughts from 13ish hours in (under cut for remake spoilers for all the ppl like me who are only playing it like a year after its release....)

- overall i am having lots of fun. exploring Expanded Midgar (tm) is so much fun because it is beautiful and I can tell the love that went into every detail. there are potion vending machines and music posters and “clear icicle mineral water” stuffs and also they made the defeat music into a tango and it gave me trauma when i heard it play in an old ppl home (in game)

- that said, im... kinda reluctantly agreeing with someone else who said the best moments are those from the OG game? some of the expanded bits drag a bit long (also i keep getting lost because im adamant about not using minimap if possible), and it feels like a lot of key iconic moments keep getting interrupted by the shades

- like, to the point that when the shades show up it is My Least Favorite because they just interrupt key introductions and whatnot

- i think the game devs tried hard to balance between returning players and total new players but also it just... idk why couldn’t they have left key aerith scenes alone :c

- speaking of, boy this game ships cloti. like, these first 13 hours are really less “cloud joins a terrorist group” and more “which female interaction will make cloud more embarassed or uncomfy”

(its the jesse ones i am sorry but they made me almost as uncomfortable as they made cloud like nopeeee)

- also, im really pissed off that all three female “love interests” do the lean in from side smiley thing that is more aerith’s thing from like... something, not sure what. crisis core maybe? its notable because its ONLY those three that do it and it annoys me like please... you put this much effort into shipping you can at least have different gestures for when they need to lean down and get clouds attention when hes dissociating

- that said, this... is making me ship cloti? i always preferred them as friends but they have like. actual chemistry now. they interact! have jokes! like yes some of it is the limitations of OG but also its just SO much easier for me to swallow clothi in this game than in OG (no one @ me for shipping wars just because i prefer clerith didn’t stop me from going after barret’s date lmao)

- okay no srsly why cant we give the flower to marlene it makes no sense to change that aside from the fact that gold saucer date isnt in this game therefore no date points accrued but STILL it was such a cute interaction

- clouds consciousness from the og timeline is still aware inside cloud?????????? i only know some spoilers about What The Specters Are About but like that surprised me. along w other minor changes that only sorta make sense but mostly feel like done to get the specters in the story....

- when will i go down to the seventh haven basement :’d

- why was reno’s boss fight so fucking brutal

- no twirly sword battle win animation :d

- i still stand that they made sephiroth uglier

- also sephiroth’s weird obsession with cloud is even more hilarious when so constantly re-emphasized like ‘random nobody managed to kill me through the power of sheer rage and physics when i was going insane bc my alien gene donor kinda took over my brain so now i shall obsess over him and only him while i destroy the planet (or maybe not, that was so last timeline ago)’

- for that note, tifa in the remake is also hilarious if you consider the story from her perspective is ‘that loner boy friendly aquaintance/friend of mine showed up looking like he’d been run over by a train claiming to be a SOLDIER and he has the skills and eyes to prove it so i recruit him immediately to join the eco-terrorist bombing missions i dont really support so he can gain Some Monz and then the next day he gets bombed out by a big robot on live tv on a mission he and i weren’t supposed to be on except these crazy phantoms assaulted my team-mates and the next time i’ll see him* is when my fake human trafficking victim scheme hat i employ like the next day after that makes him crossdress to save me’

(maybe i havent gotten that far yet)

- anyway i love carbuncle free gift summon

[bandomgay]

BRUH I just omlll like fuckingugh. I was watching am on tv and my sis and mum were like they sound terrible. And I just sat there like a lemon bc what was I supposed to say. And I’ve recently been seeing so much am hate like. I get it u don’t have to like the band but oml it just gets to me and makes my blood boil. Like I feel like my fav band is ruined for me and I just idk. I feel like the world (and me) needs to be reminded of what an amazing band they are, and it genuinely confuses me how people fail to see it. Is it normal to feel so damn fucking protective of the band, a bunch of white men I don’t even know? They’ve just helped me get through a lot.

Thank you for your time, that’s it for tonight on my am rant

NO I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY AND ITS NOT WEIRD TO BE PROTECTIVE OVER THEM seeing people be negative towards this band and it's associated acts like confuses me to no end when literally everything they've done is in the name of art /making music and they genuinely have changed me so much and the way I do things I've gotten ridiculously attached to them as of late even though I've grown up with this band and like rn they don't even know how much they are really helping me now I understand the frustration esp the part Abt family not seeing it I deal with that shit ALL the time UGH and u can rant all you need to I understand

[cakeandpi]

there’re some songs - popular songs - that i’ve only known as vague mumbling sounds that, when i come back to listen to them years later, i realize there are actually words, like it wasn’t some weird in-joke among people that this ‘vague mumble song’ became popular because everyone else could understand the words, but between me and my hearing and the singer’s awful enunciation, “take these chances” became “da de dan ses”

this might explain part of why i prefer subs and why i have a tendency to rewatch and rewatch and rewatch the same ten seconds trying to hear just wtf was said when there’s not subtitles

[catilinas]

hey Tate :^) randomly popping up to say that i just finished both 'The king must die' and 'The bull from the sea' in (almost) one go instead of working/eating/sleeping. and i can't thank you enough for recommending these books, the first one especially! so... maybe you have some other myth retellings or historical novels in mind to recommend?

hi!!! i’m so glad you enjoyed them / that i’m not the only person who felt like that reading them. the king must die especially Yeah. holy shit.

for Other Recommendations. the few ~myth retellings~ that i’ve read alas mostly are not novels. the genre of ‘myth retelling’ novels < the genre of weird long poems that Do Things with specific ancient texts rather than ‘myths’. but i do read a Lot of historical novels so i definitely have recommendations there! as long as you care about like. the roman republic. anyway here’s a list:

memorial - alice oswald. a ‘translation’ of the iliad, but only the death scenes (often just lists of names!) and the epic similes. it frames itself as yknow. a memorial. to the dead minor characters of the iliad but imo it also speaks to the futility of epic memorialisation. i have read the two page introduction approximately One Million Times.

nobody - alice oswald. you will be missing out if you don’t read this one against memorial. it’s a ‘retelling’ of ‘the odyssey’ and a lot of other myths that involve the sea at any point. a lot of the oresteia too. but it also never names any of its characters or indicates where each story starts or ends. oswald’s best poetry is always about water and this book is Mostly About Water so it snaps supremely.

war music - christopher logue. similar concept but completely different vibe to memorial. also a king poetic Selective reinterpretation of the iliad, but focusing mostly on combat scenes. i’m a big fan of the deliberate anachronisms and framing of the poem through camera angles / film terminology like it’s such a sexy way to ‘translate’ the omniscient moving narrator. AND it pushes you towards a v different emotional response than oswald like memorial is lowkey War And The Pity Of War (The Poetry Is In The Pity) while war music is like. uncomfortably fun. i think comparisons of ancient epic to modern (war-focused) action films can be Lazy or Done Badly (thinking only abt Violent Action Scenes Made Heroic and not the role of the listener/reader/viewer) but the elements of that in war music Work! also agamemnon gets called a piece of shit

tv men: hektor - anne carson. the spectatorship element of war music made more obvious and on a much smaller scale (it’s just one poem in a sequence). also v cool things going on w different degrees of Looseness of translation stacked inside one another

autobiography of red - anne carson. based on the fragments of stesichorus’ geryoneis but bcs the original is so incomplete it can’t really be a ‘retelling’ so much as an imagining of what the poem could and definitely Could Not be. technically a novel but A Novel In Verse. also one of my favourite books of all time ever. it’s in third person but the claustrophobia of the narrative style / the way the protagonist is often closed off to parts of his own thoughts is Weirdly Similar to theseus in the king must die? ALSO geryon ends up with a photography motif. this time we are also using it to think about the subjectivity of which fragments of a poem end up surviving / what gets cut off outside the edge of the photograph

red doc> - anne carson. rip so much carson But this is the sequel to autobiography of red. what happens when you live past the end of your myth. namedrops the battle of ager falernus. prometheus is there. (and also: h of h play - anne carson. i didn’t know whether to include this because it is A Play. like it’s a ‘translation’ (loosest sense of the word) of euripides’ hercules. but geryon (or a version of him) is there for long enough that it counts as the final installment of autobiography of red. to me.)

lavinia - ursula le guin. the second half of the aeneid told from the perspective of lavinia. BUT what sets it apart from other What If Myth—But Woman ‘retellings’ is like. v close engagement with the aeneid as a story and specifically A Story Written By An Actual Author who created his fictionalised past in very deliberate directions. like it doesn’t just treat the aeneid as an authorless body of mythic stories. vergil’s ghost is a character also. fate is real also. ALSO the setting in The Mythic Past As It Becomes The Historical Past + le guin’s decision to include vaguely supernatural elements but never the gods directly is like. very similar to the texture of worldbuilding in renault’s theseus books.

fire from heaven - mary renault. speaking of her. she wrote a whole bunch of other historical novels which you might like! this is the only other one i’ve read so far though. it’s the first of a trilogy about alexander the great. alexander has lot like theseus in that they are both deeply fucked up little guys :-)

dancing with the lion series - jeanne reames (@jeannereames hi 👋). also about the early life of alexander the great. i’ve only read the first one of these (again) but like. i read the whole thing in a day. the level of historical detail is also absolutely nuts. which makes sense bcs reames is an alexander specialist. but still!!!

cicero trilogy - robert harris. welcome to the rome zone. this is the series that got me into roman history :/ it follows the life of cicero from the perspective of his secretary tiro (the inventor of a shorthand system!). It Makes Roman Politics Fun I Promise. for real though these books manage to cover a very complicated period while also not getting bogged down in it And showing you cicero’s Wit. like i know i’m tumblr user catilinas but these books mean i can never really dislike cicero

roma sub rosa series - steven saylor. but if any books Could make me dislike cicero. well. these are a Long series of detective novels set at the end of the roman republic. catiline is there And He’s Sexy. you WILL get invested in the fictional detective’s family drama. also the author is gay and writes lgbt characters in a way that like. actually thinks about what that means In Ancient Rome. catilina’s riddle (book 3) is one of my favourite books of all time ever. also congrats to saylor for writing detective novels which really get into the function of the figure of the detective / Who Is The Detective Really Helping Here / cicero is a massive bastard etc

masters of rome - colleen mccullough. i’m just going to link the review that convinced me and also my entire family to read these. they are terrible they are amazing marcus livius drusus is there. they are massive they cover almost one hundred years of history sulla is sexy and kills people and you will know so much of the minutiae of roman politics If you get through them all

the key / the lock / the door in the wall - benita kane jaro. the key and the door in the wall are a duology about marcus caelius rufus and his relationships w catullus and then caesar. and also clodia. the lock was written later but i’d chronologically in between, and is about cicero and his conflict with clodius. BUT also all three books repeat A Lot of the same events, just from slightly different angles. the unreliability of the narrator helps / makes this v fun. the prose is A Vibe also a lot of the focus is less abt the political situation than like. caelius being young-ish as the republic collapses.

attis - tom holland. legally i have to include this :/ i don’t even know how to describe it like it’s a cryptid of a book you might have to get it through interlibrary loans. it’s not even brilliant it’s just so so weird and also the author cannot explain why bcs he can’t remember what happens in it. it’s about catullus (archeology student?) in a modernised alternate history version of rome (90s london?) being involved in a mystery involving ritual murders (tom holland HAS read girard. if you were wondering). there are also clowns.

hostis - vale aida ( @valeaida hi also 👋). first in an in progress series abt an alternate history version of the second punic war. i read the whole thing in a day instead of writing one of my essays earlier this year :/ have you ever read livy/silius and been like uurfgjhgh the narrative parallels between the lives of hannibal and scipio…… What If That Was A Book. you will go nuts over the barcids

augustus - john edward williams. my highschool philosophy teacher recommended this to me :-) it’s a kind of epistolary novel In That it’s framed as a collection of (imaginary) texts like. letters and biographies and memoirs, all showing Sides but never the entirety of The Emperor Augustus over the course of his life. i read this around the same time as A Source Book for the augustan period and was like. yeah.

[paranoidpoltergeist]

Reviewing all the TMNT movies

I've had a ton of free time and decided it'd be fun to watch and review a bunch of stuff. So I did, except I underestimated the amount of content and now I have to break it down into categories. Why I thought I could watch 8 movies, 5 series, and 3 crossovers in a week I don't know but here we are. Please keep in mind this is my opinion so you might not agree! This is listed in order of when I watched them NOT ranking I'm gonna do that later after I finish the tv shows.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(1990)

MMM a classic I remember first getting this DVD, my mom let me get it out of the $10 bin at the beach because I had lost a tooth. I didn’t remember much about the plot at all so it was like watching a new movie and man did I enjoy it. This was a great movie and one that held up pretty well. I liked the characters, the villain, the plot, and ofc the iconic farmhouse scene we get with just about every series. I even liked the character design surprisingly enough.

Some scenes felt weird, a couple of jokes felt off, and Splinter was literally the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen. He looks like a drowned chihuahua. The swearing was written as though the writer's mom never let them curse and they were pretending to be 25 in the youtube comment section or something, but It was great and honestly a pleasant surprise in the wake of all my childhood favorites being ruined by just how bad they were and the end credits song? Iconic. 8/10 will be watching again. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ll: The Secret of the Ooze(1991)

This movie is… good. It’s not a bad movie but it’s more goofs and gags-focused. It got a couple of laughs out of me but it felt somehow too long and also rushed. I’m pretty sure I got Leo and Donnie mixed up 207 times, I could almost never tell who was talking despite having the subtitles on, the villains were the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’m still not 100% sure who the science guy is exactly and whether he’s good or bad. In conclusion, I’m now eating a pizza. 6/10 might watch again

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lll(1993)

Well, this is certainly a movie. I don’t even really know what to say, I couldn’t root for Kenshin or even Mitsu and well the turtles are really really ugly. It was funny but I’m not sure if it was a “so bad it's funny” or actually funny. No one was very well fleshed out, the villain was Idk tbh, I don’t feel particularly satisfied, and the “we wanna stay here” thing at the end and then them all suddenly going “no we’ll go home ig” was kinda weird and probably only got put in for screen time. 4/10 I don’t believe I’ll be watching this again. I will, however, be crying bc I am in fact lactose intolerant and that pizza was not worth it. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(2014)

Man, I remember going to watch this movie in theaters like it was yesterday. Ignore my nostalgia rant but my dad sucks and never did anything with me so these were the only movies he ever went and watched in theaters, no matter how bad it was that made them infinitely better. I used to watch this movie like every night when I went to sleep so hearing this stupid music was so nostalgic, I adored this movie as a kid and I was almost scared to rewatch it without my rose-tinted glasses.

I have super mixed feelings about this movie, my expectations were so low it actually surprised me. The villains were honestly bad, not much screen time, the foot soldiers just straight up looked bad, I don’t know a lot about Sacks but somehow less about Shredder, Karai looks like she’s going through her 2010 emo phase, Splinter looks like what I can only imagine my cat would if I gave in to the urge to only shave the top of his head and arms, the turtles themselves are ugly, and their backstories mediocre. I could keep going but I did like the way the turtles interacted with each other. It had its funny moments, the soundtrack was good, and I actually quite liked Donnie. In conclusion 6/10 it wasn’t the best but it’s enjoyable and I’d watch it again. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows(2016)

Right, so I hate this movie. I can’t explain it, I've always disliked this movie. I tried super hard to watch it and literally fell asleep. It’s boring, I’m not a huge fan of how they interacted, Bebop and Rocksteady were mid although mildly enjoyable, shredder was once again a blank page, and Kraang just lowkey annoyed me. He was super gross and looked like that one transformer but pink and slimy.

The turtles little “I wanna be human” thing was mediocre and I felt like they just added it on for screentime. Casey was super unmemorable, Baxter was also kinda boring, Karai might as well have not been in the movie at all, and a lot of the jokes fell flat for me. On a more positive note, I liked the trash truck. What sucks is I really wanna like this movie bc we get a lot of characters from the original but it's so boring. 2/10 am going to burn the disk. TMNT(2007)

I was not looking forward to this movie, but surprisingly enough I liked it. I’m sad Mikey and Donnie got barely any screen time but Raph was cool. I liked Karai even though we didn’t see much of her, and the ending left me feeling pretty satisfied. The turtles were once again ugly, Splinter looked like that one macaroni noodle I lost under the fridge, and the villain was just ok. I am however a pretty big fan of the minor character development we get to see.

I’ve watched this movie probably like 4 times now, although it’s been a very long time, and the first time I watched this movie I loved it, the second it was ok, and the 3rd I kinda hated it. I basically got to come back with a fresh start and it was good, I noticed little plot points I didn’t before, debated whether I hated this Splinter or not 27 times, and realized Chris Evans voices Casey. This is a good movie. It’s cute, at times funny, and just genuinely a good watch for kids. 6.5/10 Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(2019)

You know I quite liked this movie. I liked the art style and all the turtles a lot?! Unlike the 2007 movie, I didn’t feel like a single character had a ton more screen time than the others and Leo had good character development! I’m also a dc fan so seeing Damian acting a bit more like a kid was great.

It’s a fun movie and they found a pretty good balance between funny and serious. I’m not 100% why Ra’s wanted to mutate all of Gotham tbh so that was kinda weird and there were some weird tone shifts with the random graphic murder. At one point Leo yelled at Raph because he could have killed these people and then I watched Donnie kill a man with a manhole cover, but Splinter finally wasn’t the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen although he also wasn’t in this movie. Overall I’d give this a 7/10. It wasn’t the best thing I’ve ever seen but it was good, I’m also craving pizza again but I’m still recovering from last time so I think I’d rather eat moldy bread. I'll be adding the rise movie after it's out but I kept getting scared I was gonna accidentally delete all this lol

[ankhisms]

eughhf ok. like. of course dont rb this bc its under a read more but

ill be ok but god i really humiliated myself at rehersal like i broke down into hysterical sobs on stage and its like i was fine for most of the day! i was fine everything was fine but then at rehersal the different people ive complained about on here before were saying some really triggering things like "ha ha why do musicals make psychos look so cool" and other really ableist things and other stuff and we didnt really get our makeup or hair done like i thought we were going to do for the costume day it wasnt how i thought it was going to be at all and the makeup person was talking about this HUGE list of things that we all have to buy to do our own makeup and everyone else was so excited but i just had this sinking stomach drop feeling because 1. theres no way i can buy all that bc of money 2. my parents are so weird about makeup even if we had the money theres no way theyd let me and it just felt so awful and everyone was just so so loud and too loud and i had to leave to go to the bathroom to try and calm down and i came back and tried to be okay and like theres a part in the show where i like am someone who holds up a tall scenery thing and hide behind it and i was just. spiraling thinking about all the things wrong with me and wrong with my life and about having to drop out as a theater major the first time i tried to go to college and feeling like a failure still because of that deep down and like its stupid of me to even want to be a tv/film/professional actor even if im passionate about it and am at least for sure a decent actor because me and my family dont have money or connections and that dream feels very impossible and just. that kind of downward spiral i dont need to go more into it. but i was spiraling and they were giving me really confusing instructions and i couldnt understand anything and i just. stopped and started sobbing. and at first someone was like "um, is SHE laughing?" but then they all realized i was hysterically fucking sobbing. and im really thankful that 1. a fair amount of people had left bc they werent needed for rehersing this part so at least not EVERYONE saw me have a breakdown 2. the main director and dance/choreo director were so kind to me and were just like no its okay dont worry but it also kind of sucked bc i had to go get my stuff from by where the two ppl who had originally triggered me were still standing. and i was still crying while grabbing my atuff and they really just ignored me to keep loudly talking about loving steven universe and fucking heathers and ~crazy psycho evil characters~ and it just felt so awful. i feel like a lot of this was partially like. things ive bottled up and pushed down suddenly bubbling up and spilling over after being triggered and just all the emotions ive pushed away coming out but also just am like. god why am i like this. i hate being like this and hate feeling so isolated and different and weird all the time no matter what group of people im in