#its really something when the two fandoms you obsess over the most come together

[the-classics-club-anthology]

Okay okay so this poll is over but I still want to give my two cents so.

Oreki Houtarou is not a wonder kid. He's just your average guy who doesn't like adventures and just wants to stay in his cozy home all day and lead an average and normal life. However, when push comes to shove, he proves to be extremely resourceful and intelligent. Sound familiar? Not to mention, he has loyal companions who would follow him to the ends of the earth. Finally he has a certain affinity for fading into the background and going unnoticed. Stealth powers. I'd say he fits the bill a little too well.

He does give the vibe of a character who doesn't do very well with outdoor activities, and that's bad when your plan is essentially a cross country hike (while being chased by undead creatures on horses) But the Hobbits weren't necessarily outdoorsy creatures either. At least not cross country hikers. Given that Houtarou, with his loyal companions Satoshi, Mayaka and Chitanda, are making this trip along with the rest of the Fellowship, I'd say Oreki has a very good chance of making it.

Would Oreki succumb to the power of the One Ring? I'd say he has about as much chance of that as Frodo. Oreki isn't ambitious. He sees himself as something of an outcast but he isn't vengeful. He has his friends and is perfectly happy with them. The only way the ring could truly tempt him, I think, is through his need to be needed, to feel useful (it's something he has a hard time coming to terms with himself but nevertheless it's there). But he's already playing a key role by being the ring bearer and Oreki would not want to fail at that and let his friends down (have I mentioned his friends are everything to him)

Thus, in conclusion, Oreki would make it to Mordor. He may not be able to destroy the ring but that's fine. He's only human.

[wrenkenstein]

OC creation musings + Juno retrospective

I was rewatching this video by Rea, and it struck me that this exact phenomenon happened to me in 2022, with the first inklings of Juno's design - back when I couldn't decide on whether or not her name would be "Juno" or "Kite", and desperately trying not to make her a scientist. She's obviously come such a long way since then, having now become a very well-known character in the fandom, but I often think of the fact that had she not become on of my artistic passions, I probably wouldn't be anywhere near where I am today.

Juno is absolutely everything to me. She is a representative of my passion for storytelling, and she connected me with so many of my now closest friends - one of which is currently living in my house! How crazy is that, man! All of which I can attribute to simply becoming so fixated on my own OC that I couldn't stop thinking about her, or drawing her.

Of course, that's come with some highs and lows. She's getting a professionally done cosplay, a 3D model and potentially a Battlefront mod - but she also has her own dedicated group of haters who think she represents the 'wrongs' of fandom, lol. I certainly have recieved my fair share of 'Juno hate' in my 3-4 years here, but the positivity and support make it well worth dealing with a few rotten apples. It's radiant and outpouring, like a warm ray of sun, and it keeps me going deep into the night.

Anyways. Total tangent. Want to see all her design iterations? Yea you do ;) Here's the first ever Juno ref!

I made this on my phone in 2022, at the tale end of watching TCW and back when TBB was just one season. You can definitely see that the idea was always there, just a bit disjointed in its application. That gas mask on her helmet ended up causing a lot of confusion, so I removed it in later iterations - but to this day, I think this one picture is what really captivated me. Something about the aura, man,, she scary lookin

Then, of course, I had to draw what her face would look like - if it hadn't been for a RP, I don't think I would have.

Woah - she's like a whole different person! And you can see the beginnings of her white hair streak, though back then, I wanted i to be really subtle. And I was soooo adamant about this lol. She also was almost beat for beat Ellen Ripley, and you can see me paint over a picture of Sigourney below with her OG faceclaim haha.

Then we have the Juno-ing... part two. Where I went darker!! Both in themes, and in her color scheme. This one still has so much personality, and I remember being obsessed with how I drew her eyes and face back then. Nowadays, I think it's hideous. xD This was also around the time I was phasing out her gauntlets and oxygen mask, but both still remained for practicality purposes, even if they didn't serve anything to the design. Oh, and the hair streak. Now it's a Thing :tm: but it isn't really flowing well with the design - not yet, anyways!

We finally get to a point where I, begrudingly, accept the fact that her white streak is going to be her facial focal point - and at this point I'm laughing about how much I tried to avoid it LOL. But here, we also see her get more and more refined. Her face is still a bit wonky, but the stern vibe and posture are starting to come together and tell more of a concrete story, even if the reference doesn't have as much color or personality as the last one. I also did this one for my senior year of college!

I even designed her some totally BS civvies - and I gave her a s2 paint job, which admittedly looks hideous LMAOOO but we ball regardless. The second design was scrapped anyways almost immediately. The civvies stayed!

And then, of course, THE FINALE! Her face went through so many iterations with her current ref, but thus far, it's been the longest standing and most accurate one. It atually started out just as me goofing off with a marker pen in CSP, that quickly changed to "hey... this could be something good." And I was right! This is the Juno that's currently circulating today, and I've been polishing and refining her as I go, since I still feel as though I could perfect things.

And then, of course, her various outfits, which I posted about a while back. Oh - and have you seen Baby Juno?

Well now you have. :)

I think it's so cool to see how someone can fixate on a character and pour so much love and thought into them, that this character becomes their entire brand. Juno inhabits every part of my brain space and is what I think about 24/7. I'm so proud of how far she comes, and she reminds me about how incredible fandom can be and continues to be! Something about her is just so intoxicating to me. I can't get enough of her, and I can't wait to keep developing her over the years to come.

Which then begs the question - what is your equivalent to this entire thread? Do you have an OC like Juno, who you're fixated on and who dominates your creative pursuits? Do they have multiple artistic iterations? Because if you do, share them!! I WANNA SEEEEEE.

Anyways, that's Wren's Ramblings for today ~ I got bored haha

SHARE YOUR OCS!!!! >:0

[awsugar]

And I forgot about the DRUMS!!! I think this is an album they may have been working on for years. I think they are going for a magnum opus

yea so i read this went you sent it at 6am cause ive been out of work sick for a few days now and my sleep is allll messed up. and i tinhatted EXTREMELY close to the sun on this one. but i kind of think im cooking. so let me explain.

also ill just say i think because we know somethings coming but we dont know what BUT we know there are threads throughout somehow connecting things from years prior like. all tinhatting is plausible until proven otherwise. if we want to draw a connection between two things we CAN. and i think thats why im so on board with mcr5 now when i havent been since 2019. bc ive done this before. i was in the trenches for the danger days rollout/promo and the transmissions on the website and everything and THAT was one of the most exciting times of my life and THIS reminds me of that. im glad people never gave up on mcr5 but they never gave me ENOUGH before now to really run with. and now they have and its a free for all. THIS is what being an mcr fan is about. tbh. this is what this fandom has been missing for AGES. when they dont give us teasers and lore and crpytic messages we devolve into like theorizing and arguing with each other about who they are as people. but this is the basis of mcr community to me....getting together with your pals inside your phone and inside your laptop (who now have grown ito irl friends for so many of us) and dissecting every shred of info they give us. thank god for my chemical romance.

ANYWAY sorry that. went down a path i didnt intend when i started. so yes um so what you said about them going for a magnum opus. let me tell you a little story. when i was in my first year of being a my chem fan, i was 13, i became QUICKLY obsessed, first with the black parade and then after i spent i think 2 months straight listening to nothing but the black parade on repeat all day every day (literally) i ventured into their other stuff and got like really sucked in to everything else, reading articles and interviews and watching every video of them youtube had to offer and talking about them 24/7 on the forums instead of doing homework, i would sneak the family laptop into my room at night so i could keep reading about them and talking about them instead of having to go to sleep it was THE most exhilarating and exciting time of my life. anyway. i remember (16 years later) reading a specific review of the black parade that said something like "my chemical romance will never top this album and they know it" and i STILL REMEMBER sitting on the couch and crying over it. because i had never listened to music that had made such an impact on me as the black parade IN MY LIFE. nothing had ever made me feel that way and that strongly as listening to that album. you know how we all always say we wish we could listen to my chem for the first time again just to have that feeling again. that was me. i had never experienced an album of their when it came out and i felt like the author of the article was telling me that i would basically never acheive that high again. it was devastating. i promise this is relevant. bc regardless of your PERSONAL FAVORITE my chem album, it is generally agreed upon that the black parade is their magnum opus. it just is. both in scale and musically and its impact on pop culture and its the best known to a general audience.

so you say they're going for a magnum opus. when the black parade is DEAD. they killed it. (in the new lore they were sent to the MOAT which i assume is some kind of exile and stripping of their status as the national band)

and so i started thinking about "in the face of extermination say FUCK YOU" and i think this applies here two-fold actually. MAYBE 3-fold. on one hand, in-universe. extermination being the concrete age, the dictator holding the people down and exterminating their livelihood. but also the extermination of the black parade! and then - irl - we have the extermination of mcr's chances of doing something huge again like this. music publications resigning them as soon as the album came out to never achieving something as epic and grand as that again.

and the FUCK YOU being, the opposition of the dictator from the people, the black parade being reinstated but? maybe they have plans to overthrow the dictator? IRL mcr saying fuck you, we can actually use the concept that you said was the best we would ever do, completely turn it on its head, and make something even more grandiose and epic and MAGNUM OPUS.

and also hail just reminded me obv of the UNKILLABLES drumhead in sydney. which both relates to franks personal experience there but also like. with this concept of in the face of extermination say fuck you. along with his end of tour post being a cockroach, notoriously unkillable! notoriously a target for extermination!!!!

god theres so many layers to this but i needed to get it off my chest do you still like me

[equixen]

Looking back at ‘Before You Go’

Welcome to part 2 of my Narnia fanvid retrospectives which consist of me talking about a specific fanvid I’ve made and how I’ve interpreted the lyrics. This time, I’ll be talking about my second Caspeter fanvid, ‘Before You Go’, which I uploaded almost one and a half years ago now [original post].

Before I get into it, I just wanted to say that this one is especially for @an-angels-fury because she enjoyed my retrospective post for ‘Run To You’ and said that ‘Before You Go’ is her other favourite of my Caspeter fanvids. 😊

Okay, so this one actually has an interesting origin story and that’s because this fanvid was very close to being my first Caspeter fanvid and also very close to never happening at all.

Let me explain… 😊

When I first became obsessed with Caspeter, it wasn’t long till I decided to try making a fanvid about them. I started by going through my music and eventually narrowed it down to two songs. This one and ‘What Hurts the Most’. I liked both songs very much so it was quite possible that ‘Before You Go’ would have been the first one to be edited although I ultimately decided on ‘What Hurts the Most’.

As for why this fanvid was almost never made at all… well that’s because, at the time, I thought Narnia and Caspeter would go the way of many of my other recent fandoms up till that point. That I would do one fanvid, maybe two if I was lucky, but eventually either my interest in that fandom would wane or something new would come along to take its place as my latest obsession. So, I knew that by picking one song over the other, it was quite possible the second one might never have been made.

Well, we all know how that turned out. 🤣 Several more fanvids (and even fanfics) later, Caspeter and Narnia ended up becoming so important to me for various reasons (I’ve written more about this in another post if that’s of interest) which led to Caspeter becoming my OTP of OTPs. 🥰

Alright, now onto the lyrics. This fanvid is all from Caspian’s POV.

‘I fell by the wayside like everyone else’

I feel like there are a couple of ways this line can be looked at for Caspian. Firstly, it’s Caspian personally feeling like he doesn’t measure up to the High King from Narnia’s golden age. And secondly, that Caspian thinks that Peter sees him as less-than because of his Telmarine heritage. Also, I still really like the visuals I chose for this sequence… of Caspian deferring to the higher status of the Pevensies and hanging back as they enter the How for the first time.

‘I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself’

Yep, Peter drives Caspian absolutely crazy in the beginning. Two young men with their own axes to grind and who are out to prove themselves. Caspian both hates how stubborn Peter is during the strategising at the How, but also can’t help seeing beyond that tough exterior that Peter puts up. Someone who is both more and less than what Caspian grew up hearing about in all those stories. Because Peter might not be all that he imagined in terms of the magnificent battle-hardened warrior (at least not at first glance) but he’s also more human and more beautiful and has more heart than Caspian ever could have imagined.

‘Our every moment, I start to replace, 'cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say’

Despite the connection they share, their time together is over too soon. And once Peter is gone, Caspian can’t help regretting all the things he never told Peter while he had the chance. While I’ve had multiple versions of what Caspian might regret after Peter leaves Narnia in my head for different projects over the last year and a half, when I was editing this fanvid, I was very much imagining this to be that Caspian never told Peter that he loved him.

‘When you hurt under the surface, like troubled water running cold. Well, time can heal but this won't’

I think this was the line that first made me take notice of this song as a potential Caspeter fanvid. The way it reflects their regret over the loss of so many lives after the failed castle raid. It is something that will probably haunt both of them for the rest of their lives. And even though we had no closeup of Caspian’s face when they escape the courtyard, I was rather pleased that I was able to fake one by using a shot of Caspian from the start of the film which I still think works rather well. 😊

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather’

Apart from his siblings—who Peter could never hope to hide anything from—I feel like Peter is the kind of person who’d keep his troubles close to his chest. So, for most of the time that Caspian and Peter would have known each other, there’s so much about Peter that would’ve been a mystery to Caspian. And at the top of that list would be the hardships Peter had faced as a result of being forced back into his old life after living in Narnia for so long. Constantly being underestimated by the adults in his life as well as being bullied and belittled by his peers.

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless’

There are definitely times when Peter feels worthless. But for the first instance of this line, I chose a moment where Peter feels like he’s worth less than others. And what better representation is there than the, “what about your own future?” deleted scene between Caspian and Peter. Caspian learns for the first time just how much Peter is willing to sacrifice for those he loves and for the greater good. Even his own life. That thought alone scares Caspian more than anything so he prompts Peter to think about his own future in the hopes that it will give him something else to fight for.

‘So, before you go, would we be better off by now, if I'd have let my walls come down? Maybe I guess we'll never know, you know, you know’

The moment when it all comes to an end. Caspian has just been crowned King and is looking forward to getting to know Peter away from the hardships of war. Just seeing where these feeling take them. But then Peter drops the bombshell that they’re leaving and Caspian can’t do a thing to stop it. All he has left now is regret. Regret over all those missed opportunities where he could have said how he felt but didn’t as well as wondering what could have been if he had. 😢 And I still rather love that sequence for, “I guess we'll never know, you know, you know,” where it looks like Peter is kicking himself for not being brave enough to say something to Caspian when they’d had a moment upon first entering Cornelius’ office. 😊

‘Before you go, was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather’

When Caspian finds Peter during his and Susan’s talk with Aslan, he can see that something isn’t right with Peter. He wants to help but how can he when he never knew the depths of what Peter, a king to a nation that had been home to him and his siblings for 15 years, had dealt with by being flung back into their own world against his wishes. A loss of self, of purpose and of feeling like he truly belonged.

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless’

And now we come to the second instance of this line where I focus on a moment when Peter feels worthless. Of course, no one is harder on Peter then Peter himself. As the High King, he has the weight of the world on his shoulders and he when he messes up, he feels the shame of it in every fibre of his being. After the failed castle raid, and the subsequent run-in with Jadis, Caspian starts to see a side of Peter that he never had before. The side that makes mistakes and, in his darkest moments, doubts his value. And that only makes him feel for Peter all the more and wish he knew the right things to say that would make Peter feel otherwise.

‘So, before you go’

And lastly the ending. What can I saw about the ending that hasn’t already been said. I mean, between Peter’s, “we’re not really needed here anymore,” and Caspian’s, “I will look after it until you return,” has there ever been a scene where two people who love each other have said so much and yet so little at the same time?? They were so close to having it all and now they’re being torn apart as Peter walks out of Caspian’s life, never to return. 😢

--------

And on that note, I think I’ll leave it there. I’ve had so many feelings about these two over the last year and a half and, with yet more fic/vid ideas percolating in my mind, I don’t think that will be ending anytime soon. 😊

[lurkingshan]

SHIPPER TAG GAME

Tagged by @negrowhat to give away all my fandom secrets. I came up in the US, so most of these will be Western shows. Also be aware that I'm old and been around in fandoms for decades, some of you youths might not even recognize these ships.

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

Felicity and Noel. I was very into them (and very anti-Ben) when I was first watching this show at the tender age of 14, but then I rewatched it as an adult, realized Noel was a classic Nice Guy with some clear warning flags, and settled into Team Ben.

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Hmm maybe Elizabeth Wakefield and Todd Wilkins? I think I started reading Sweet Valley High at, like, age 8. For TV, I was a sitcom kid and I was obsessed with Dwayne Wayne and his flip-up glasses as a child. I loved him and Whitley. Damn now I want to rewatch.

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

The first I read? I am pretty sure the honor goes to Buffy and Spike.

They were the first ship I remember having that classic fanfic brainrot combo of 1) captivating me entirely with their dynamic and 2) canon leaving me unsatisfied. I lost months of my life over at Elysian Fields.

In terms of the first fanfic I wrote, the honor goes to Ian and Mickey.

I was big into Shameless for its first four seasons. But then the show went way off the rails, the fandom went with it, and I quit watching and scrubbed all my fandom activity off the internet.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

I honestly have no idea. Probably something Buffy, I was doing a lot of internet dwelling for that show.

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

Getting into discourse is my whole entire thing LOL. I have survived many, many ship wars and let me tell ya you haven't seen unhinged until you've been knee deep in the tags in a long-term fandom with multiple ships for the protagonist. One of the things I love about BL and nearly all Asian dramas is that we go into every show knowing who the main pairing is, so we don't have to fight about ships.

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

Hmm I was a big Buffy/Angel anti and that was before Spuffy was even a twinkle in my eye. I never liked that man in a romance until he got hooked up with Cordelia in his own show (but then they ruined it ugh). I was also very anti-Harry/Hermione back in the OG HP days (let characters have meaningful platonic relationships!).

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

I've been on a Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian kick of late.

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

OTPs are eternal! Like I said above, since I mostly watch Asian drama now, they're baked in. My fav of my current watches is Ten and Prem.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

YES I AM STILL MAD ABOUT ROBIN AND BARNEY.

You show me two characters who are clearly uniquely compatible, you give me a brief taste of their extremely fun and non-traditional relationship, and then you break them up and stick her with the milquetoast Nice Guy protagonist in a total betrayal of your entire narrative premise? Fuck off forever, HIMYM, I will see you in hell.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

Hmm nothing comes to mind. If I decided to hate a pair in the past I am pretty likely to still be hating.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

I would like to see you try to cancel me!! I'll echo Eboni here and say Brian and Justin, though of course there were people who hated them because of the age gap back in ye olden times, too. Fandom spaces are mostly women and women in queer fandom spaces often struggle to account for the totally different culture and power dynamics between m/m pairings.

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

I don't really do crack ships, I am a canon pairing girlie.

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

I don't know who the ultimate winner is, but I think it's probably a neck and neck competition between Spuffy and Wangxian as my most read pairing.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

There's actually a lot of variety in them in terms of personalities, appearance, and tropes. I think what makes me really click into a ship is the feeling that the two people are uniquely suited to each other and well matched to go through life together.

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

When I don't believe they can actually make it.

Tagging @my-rose-tinted-glasses @twig-tea @imminentinertia @shortpplfedup @stuffnonsenseandotherthings @littleragondin.

[ravenkinnie]

thoughts on jinx largely using pink for her graffitis because the color reminds her of vi??

i like to think its true bcs it makes all those years of stewing resentment/longing/grieving before she sees vi again hits a little more harder. vi seeps into even the most trivial parts be it conscious or subconscious. even in her 'JINX' grafitti tag the first letter 'JI' is drawn in a shape similar with 'VI' the letter J is just tilted kind of, which is a blatant visual representation of how jinx's heart and soul yearns for her sister. its these little things that truly make me realize how obsessed jinx is with vi & idk to me the fandom doesnt talk enough ab it.

I mean I'll be real lads, jinx was using pink way before arcane and before her and vi were even sisters and I think they chose it because pink and blue go well together and now shes stuck with it forever ksjsjsj. I'm also glad s2 is coming out soon because the more people try to find VI in every poster the more I'm starting to feel like that encanto tweet that's like were running out of things to say about this movie jaisusj

don't get me wrong, I'm also prone to delusions, like riot renewed their K/DA trademark and I've been reading signs in the water and the sky for an upcoming EP/album so its not like I also don't live in delululand but my stance is we don't need to read the posters for signs of jinx's feelings towards vi when jinx already told us. like vi is one of the two protagonists we already know she's central to the story and we know that the vi jinx relationship is the centre of the show and the heart of it. and if you don't realise that then I think you will really love arcane because clearly you've never seen it before jajsjksks

but like, they are the centers of each others stories, vis entire arc in s1 is basically just defined by her sister and s2 will probably do little to change that at least in the first half. we know jinx defines herself outside of vi in some ways but she can't really cut her off, she says explicitly vi is a voice she heard over the years, and seven years on a bitch that slightly looks like vi is a trigger. silcos dead ass or not, that's not something you just move past, vi will always be the most important figure. esp since based on trailers we saw so far it seems that jinx in her current position is not living her best life, we've only seen her struggling and looking devastated so far and I assume vi will also not be thriving so I think it will only emphasise how they really are all each other has. and you can say vi has caitlyn now but first of all, caitlyn is insane amd also a bitch and now has personal and political beef with her sister. second of all, caitvi fandom simply is classist so you would think its not a problem but the class divide between them is a huge part of vis character in league and I assume they will keep thay in arcane looking at the direction they are going towards. they both will never have another person like each other, someone who knows where you come from

the reason the fandom doesnt care about it is not because its not true and factual to the show, its just how this fandom works. firstly, nobody cares about platonic relationships already. secondly, parts of the fandom that care about jinx don't necessarily care about vi and parts of the fandom that care about vi don't necessarily care about jinx so hilariously there doesn't seem to be a ton of overlap between the two parts of the fandom where you would have that relationship explored. and it's a very messy relationship that doesn't show either of them in the best light and fanon content is chronically allergic to complicated dynamics so at most you're getting like ship fics with background vi and jinx fluff or like few throwaway angst lines. and most meta on them just tries to argue that the other one is the problem kskskksksj

[benjamin-ovich]

[in a flirty voice] hey wanna be insane and talk about On Fire all day long together

you are playing a dangerous game dani i am sooo unhinged about that fic. it's my magnum opus. my brain child. my baby. it contains some of the finest writing i've ever done and i love the way the story evolved along with my characters over the years. for a long time before i was really active on tumblr/fandom again, writing that fic was my only real connection to the hp world (other than rereading the books themselves); i started the first chapter when i was around 17 ... and i'm 25 now lol.

i'm not the kind of person who outlines stories, i kind of just sit down and write and let my brain take things where they want to go. so when i wrote that first chapter all those years ago, i still hadn't worked out a lot of later plot points, like what sirius did to cause the fallout between him and james, james' relationship with lily, etc. i like to think that this story was as much of a wild ride for me as for the readers because i literally did not know what to expect until i sat down to write it.

also i adore the themes of love and violence the story touches on. i wanted to make readers think about love as a destructive force, love with carnivorous teeth, love that burns everything in its path. love as a kind of devotion that borders on religion. all-consuming, devastating, and uncontrollable. the kind of love written about in wuthering heights, macbeth, anna karenina. love tinged with obsession and lust. love resembling psychological torment.

i just think sirius and james, with their natural codependency, and this intrinsic idea that they're each other's soulmates, make the perfect pairing for a story like that. i wanted to know: what would it take to break down a relationship between two characters who would die for each other? how deep the wound, how sharp the blade? i wanted readers to be both horrified and unable to look away from all of it, to be made to feel uncomfortable but still root for james and sirius to be together at the end.

people always say: write the story you want to read. on fire, but we can't feel a thing is that story for me. it contains elements of all my favourite books growing up, the exact characterisations of james and sirius that i hold most dear, and honestly i'm still surprised that my brain was able to come up with something like it. i don't know that it ever will again, tbh :')

[tokiro07]

What does your "fouryearsandaanime" tag means?

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it before, but you all know I love to hear myself talk, so I'm happy to go over it again!

It's a reference to Community, a sitcom about a community college, wherein one character Abed is a major film and TV buff. In one episode, he was obsessed with a show called The Cape, a short-lived real-world superhero show. When Abed pulls a The Cape-themed prank on main character Jeff, Jeff yells "that show's going to last three weeks!" to which Abed replies "six seasons and a movie!"

Ultimately Jeff's prediction wouldn't be too far off the mark, the show getting 10 episodes out of a planned 13 before its cancelation, but the Community fandom adopted the #sixseasonsandamovie slogan when fears arose that Community would be canceled. If I recall, there were several points where it got close to or even did get canceled, but when NBC canceled it after season 5, Yahoo picked it up for streaming for a sixth season and is ostensibly planning to release the movie this year. Perhaps I should catch up on the last season before that...

Anyway, I've definitely mentioned this before, but I am of the opinion that the optimal run-time for a Shonen Jump manga is four years, with three years often being unsatisfactory and anything beyond five years being diminishing returns (not naming names but I can think of plenty of manga that should have ended waaay earlier). It's not impossible for a shorter series to be good (Death Note ran for only two years) and of course there are plenty of longer-running series that maintain their quality (One Piece being the most obvious instance)

Some of my all-time favorites, Medaka Box and Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro, as well as fan favorites Demon Slayer and Assassination Classroom all had approximately four-year runs and had some of the best endings I've seen in Jump's lineup. Of course there are exceptions, like Promised Neverland's extremely rushed final arc and Nurarihyon's unfortunately timed cancelation (it needed at least one more year to tell the story it wanted to, but it wasn't performing well enough to get the chance outside of a quarterly run in Jump Giga), but like I said, this is just my opinion anyway and an empirical study would likely find fault with my logic

Of course, "andananime" refers to getting an anime, which is effectively the bare minimum requirement for a manga to be considered successful. The manga industry is surprisingly niche, with the more generalized audience only really being aware of it because of anime. More often than not, fans are introduced to manga through their anime adaptations, not the other way around. Attack on Titan and Demon Slayer both performed fine on their own, but their anime adaptations are what allowed them to skyrocket to success. Even the Demon Slayer anime was only performing decently for its first four months until episode 19 came out and set the internet on fire with one particularly well-animated sequence. No one was talking about it before then, and then suddenly it was a household name

Naturally, a bad adaptation won't draw in new readers, which I'm pretty sure is the reason Hinomaru Zumou still hasn't come stateside aside from the chapters that were run when MangaPlus started and got grandfathered in, but that's something only time will tell. For now, the fact that Undead Unluck has an anime announced at all means that the manga is selling well enough to warrant the investment that it takes to advertise it with an anime. I won't go into the economics of it, but the anime industry ain't cheap and requires a lot of different companies to come together to agree that something will be able to produce a return on investment, so making an anime out of a Jump property means that multiple people looked at it and said it was worth throwing money at

In short, #4y+1a is my way of saying I want a manga to succeed and reach a wide enough audience that I won't feel like I'm the only one who loves it. UU is halfway through its fourth year now, and will have an anime by the time it hits the four-year mark, and I've watched its fanbase grow from non-existent to consistently active (albeit small) since its inception, so for all intents and purposes, mission accomplished. CA is still in its infancy and has a much harder hill to climb since it's not a traditional Shonen action manga mixed with Nisio Isin's esoteric writing style, but the transition into this new battle-focused arc looks like it might be able to bolster it just enough to last until it has the chance to snowball into something...not big, but at least decently sized. It just needs to find its tribe, and #4y+1a is my rallying cry to help it do so

Will I use #4y+1a in the future? Maybe, maybe not. It depends on how well anything in the future grabs me. The author of Hinomaru Zumou has a new series starting in the next few weeks, so it's definitely possible! I probably won't start any new reviews, though; the candle's already lit at both ends, I don't have any more wicks to burn. Still, you can't help who you fall in love with, so if something new lights a fire in me, I'll have to find somewhere to put it!

[yuly]

Hey Yuly!! I just wanted to tell you how much I love your writing, it’s so deliciously soul destroying <3

If you don’t mind, do you have any tips on starting writing fanfiction? I really love writing but I have absolutely no clue where to start it’s painful 😭

Anyway ilysm ur an angst genius and I just wanted you to know it 💗💗

oh anon 🥹🥹you've made my entire day week with this ask thank you so very much for your kind words and support ❤️❤️

soul destroying 🫢hehe😈🤪

my advice for writing ??? as someone who started writing in Dec 20222???? i'm not sure i qualify to give any type of advice darling😭 but i will say this:

you said you love writing so start there!! don't be afraid!!! if you feel like writing something GO FOR IT, it doesn't have to be novel, hell it doesn't even have to be a full paragraph, write down your idea, tell your story and see how you feel about it, my golden rule is as long as I like it and it makes ME happy reading it, then I’m good!! Literally just open up google docs, or your notes app, whatever, take a breath and type away!!! flood the page with our ideas and then start organizing it a bit etc, don’t put too much pressure on yourself because thats when you lose train of thought and lovely ideas float way, forget about posting and what the reader will think, for now just put your energy into story telling :)

don't worry too much about grammar and schematics in the early stages, just get your idea out, tell your story! In my first few stories I was very insecure about the fact that my tenses were all over the place, I obsessed over it wayyyyy too much (I still struggle with it ngl), we aren't writing legal documents here, cut yourself some slack!! also, english isn't everyone's first language! I use free grammarly its very helpful, I am terrible at spelling etc.

at the same time, be honest with yourself, yes you are a brand new writer and there is lots of room to improve so if and when you receive some feedback, take it!! don't see it as an attack or a reason to not write anymore, incorporate it to the best of your abilities and keep trying!!

be yourself!!! I cannot emphasis this enough, you may not be aware of it yet but you have a certain niche that is going to hit juuuust right for your reader! i've started using tumblr and reading fanfic again since nov2022 and i have come across a wide variety of writing styles, some i personally enjoy more than others (and that's ok!) but there are so many insanely talented writers in this little fandom alone it blows my mind, and each of them has their own unique writing style and a different way to tell a beautiful story, and we appreciate them all!! there is room for everyone <3

most importantly: don't let lack of engagement discourage you, this is easier said than done!! right before I posted child's play, I posted a small one shot titled A Two Way Street, it was different from my usual fluff and actually, it was my very first time writing angst! (a tiny amount lol) and I was so excited !!! I even wanted (and still do) to make a part 2 and had this whole idea planned out, but it sat around 10 likes for nearly two weeks, with no feedback or anything, it was crickets lol. It made me really sad and I started to second guess my idea and just the story overall, I even thought am I writing too much too fast for someone who just started?? Maybe I should take a break. When I got the idea for childs play not long after that, I said fuck it ,I posted it with 0 expectations, I just genuinely liked my idea and telling the story, again, I had an idea for part 2 but this time I told myslef to not expect anything and just take whatever comes my way. The response to that story is still unreal to me, I'm so glad that I didn't let something so small discourage me from writing all together, truthfully some of the best stories I've read on here get way less recognition than I believe they deserve, but that does not take away from the writers talent or the story itself!!!

anyway, that was sooooo much rambling, I hope I was able to encourage you even a tiny bit, you are absolutely capable and worth the shot, don't be afraid, I’m no genius I'm just a regular girl and if I can do it, you absolutely can!!!❤️❤️

[aroace-poly-show]

I just saw a BSD take that made me wanna explode /neg So the person was rambling about Dazai, Akutagawa and Atsushi, and Akutagawas relationship with the two and how seeing Atsushi together with Dazai probably hurts him alot-- which, yknow that's really valid it probably DOES hurt him a lot, but its a thing he kinda needs to wor through himself because whats hurting him the most is his obsession with Dazai that comes from the abuse he suffered and wanting Dazai to finally see he's good enough, like?? But then, then they ended it with, and I quote 'Atsushis finally happy, and I'm really glad he's happy!! He deserves to be! I just wish it wasn't Dazai who made him happy, cause that's not fair to Akutagawa' and idk it just felt so,, unneeded?? Why doesn't Atsushi deserve Dazai just because Akutagawa refuses to let himself heal from the past through other means?? Why is Atsushi the one who has to loose something for Akutagawa to be happy?? When he could be happy without Dazai EASILY he just doesn't really make the effort too- I will never understand this fandoms hatered for taking into account how much Atsushi deserves stuff as much as Akutagawa does. They both deserve a Dazai that will care about them, but not both of them are going to get it, so what are you to do then?? You go and find people who WILL care about you and you forget about Dazai (Or well that's what he shoulda done b4 Dazai came baralling back into his life and ruining it even more) Like,, This fandom has a really hard time accepting that both Atsushi and Akutagawa are traumatized, at least that's what I've noticed. Its always one or the other, for some reason they both cant be traumatized- And its usually Akutagawa too, and lie there's nothing wrong with having favorites, but I feel lie you shouldn't undermine another characters trauma just to justify your favorites trauma and wrong doings its just not the way to go about things But what do I know its 4 am and I'm tired gn

bro wtf

dazai being good to atsushi ABSOLUTELY hurts akutagawa that’s like, so very obvious ksdfdhgjg and akutagawa absolutely deserved to be treated well by dazai, but that’s not what happened, but its not like atsushi deserves to be treated badly as well like??? they both deserve to be happy,,, they both deserve dazai being good to them but akutagawa didn’t get that and there isn’t much he can do about that aside from just moving on. poor guy :(

i notice that atsushi gets like. a lot more annoyance with his trauma than other some other characters and i mean I GET IT. THAT ORPHANAGE SCENE CAN GET ANNOYING. IT GETS OLD REALLY FAST I KNOW. BUT LIKE. CUT HIM SOME SLACK DUDE 😭 it annoys me seeing people tell atsushi to just like get over it, like,,, it hasn't even been that long since he was kicked out?? that trauma is still really fresh. and he doesn’t have therapy here??? what do you expect??? he’s figuring it out himself cut him some slack,,,</3

[hunkydorkling]

Riiiight so let me try to explain as I mentally twiddle my thumbs, because this has to be put out. This fire needs to be put out.

Cobra Kai used to be the comfort show. And this is a lamentation post.

Anyone who's known me long enough (which has only been one person) knows that it's difficult to convince me to stay at any given fandom space for a period of time. I shit you not, I can't last for more than a year. So when I got recc'd to binge the first two seasons of the show and then the first Karate Kid with my pal, the inter-generational magic-and-some-trauma of this entire universe befell me in one swift axe kick. Metaphorically split my skull.

What genuinely pains me now about the fact that the show is ending is that we'll be promised with grandiose frills and flashbangs of triumph, because where else should the high note end? Oppositely, "sickening" and "death-defying" pyrotechnics. Perhaps more bloodbaths, we've got to make this stick! Wow wow wow!

I spontaneously cried out against my better judgement (when I should have slept soundly) as I began to miss that point in time when the show's potential was all I ever thought about, and my galleries have proven point to that. The show, in moments of pure uncertainty, was there telling its stories of tale as old as time. We could go on and on about the simplicity, but really, it was just because the stakes were low for both in and out of the show. And one could argue, "dude, isn't that where it's supposed to go tho? It's the badass show!" to which I say, it still is... there's just a lot of things written in these past few seasons that you and I both know should have gone different ways, considering they could be trivial, but most of them aren't.

This post was originally condemning those writing decisions out of despair, because... surely I'm not the only one who's felt the grief? But after many moons of people letting it simmer down to nothing but lukewarm water at this point and moving on, I now see why the magic is virtually almost non-existent. What made the show the goddamn show we all obsess over was, in many parts, due to the people. You. Particularly here on Tumblr, and some lovely folks on Twitter. These past few months were pushes and pulls of whether or not I genuinely want to stay, still, knowing there's both so much investments and little payoffs that's not entirely on the fault of the fandom people. That being said, it's the fault of the writers, and saying this in a simple sentence is SUCH an understatement. We have been failed. Either or, a special nook in my heart is reserved for when certain people of this fandom want to come back, however withering.

All of this hodgepodge to say I'm simply grieving over what once was the jovial space filled with hope for something we hadn't seen coming then. Now that the boxes have been ticked, we're down to our last season, and I think I'd still see myself crying, carrying this very specific mixture. Whether or not the end of the era sees us still closely-knit together, let this be part-celebration of our times yesterday and the overmorrows we have yet to see post-Cobra Kai.

For tonight, just let me cry over Cobra Kai. I need this.

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Seeing you in a wedding dress for the first time

Fandom: Haikyuu

Pairing: Oikawa x fem!reader

Genre: Fluff,Humor

Format: Scenario

Warnings: Tiny bit of NSFW,but nothing too accurate

Word count: 0.9K

A/n: dude i wrote this at 3 am and i was supposed to be sleeping/studying for my upcoming exam in the morning,but im just obsessed with this scenario

not proofread

here you go Oikawa stans! youre welcome ;)

Suna version

it was just a crazy idea.an idea that popped into your mind the minute you laid eyes on the gorgeous wedding dress in the showcase of the shop near your college.

"what would Tooru's reaction be when he sees me in this?" you thought to yourself while caressing the soft,fluffy material on its skirt.

so you rented the dress,just for one night-tonight.it didnt cost you a lot because the owner had seen you gasping and literally drooling while staring at the dress,more than once,which made her feel bad so she gave you a remarkable discount.

And now here you were,wearing red lipstick and eye make up on, your hair chignoned Elegantly which couldnt have been done without the help of your roommate,who was sitting in front of you on her bed, her eyes moving from her watch to your face every ten seconds.

"what time he said he'll get here?" "in a few minutes" you mumbled,while scrolling through your phone,wishing to come across something interesting. "well it has been half an hour since he told you that,and i cant see any sign of him here" "SO IMPATIENT! why do you even care anyway?" you giggled as you present her an innocent smile, already knowing the reason why she was acting like this;but you couldnt miss an opportunity to tease her,could you?

"EXCUSE ME? are you for real? dont tell me that you forgot about how you made me stay at my friend's house the other night you wore a dirty outfit!" "but its not a dirty outfit this time!" "yeah! its a wedding dress! thats even worse!" she whined dramatically,pouting as the memory of that night became lively in her mind.her friend's house was not nice-not at all like her good old dorm room,which she had to share with you,unfortunately.you weren't a bad roommate,you were just...just...

too carefree when it came to being with your boyfriend.

you two continued chatting-which was basically you listening to her nag about things that was bothering her,and you were definitely on top of her list-until you heard a slight knock on the door. "babe? you there?"

you smiled as you heard the familiar voice that belonged to your boyfriend,and got excited cause it was show time!

"your prince charming has finally arrived,idiot" your friend says while opening the door,facing the usual nice while mischevious look on Oikawa's face. "well,arent you a pea-" he was planning on teasing her a bit longer,but was speechless when his eyes met with yours.

"Awwww what happened?did the cat ate your tongue?" you gave him a cocky smile,gliding toward him as you gyrated to give him a better view.

"so,what do you think?" he remained silent,but the sparkle in his eyes did all the talking for him.there wasnt much left for him to say.

however,there were plenty of things he could do.

within a blink of an eye,he literaly threw you on the bed,came on top of you as he crashed his lips into yours,tasting them harshly like a starved man.youre friend could swear that she heard the bed crack at that moment,but there were more important things to care about.

"h-hey! do this shit when youre alone together!" it was clear that you both heard her words,but anyone could tell that none of em really mattered right now.Oikawa was head over heels in love with you already. you were one of the most important things in his life and he really wanted to spend his lifetime with you,but seeing you in that dress...

you looked like an angel.an angel he wanted all for himself so badly.

at first you just continued your little make out session to tease your friend for a bit,but now? you couldnt resist his touch.

not when he was this passionate.

his hands traveling through your body,caressing the delicate skin with his fingertips as he comtinued smooching.you could hear his heartbeat,racing like hell.why was he so impressed anyway? you didnt really see this coming,but he was obsessed with you.he wanted to wake up with the feeling of you clinging to the side of him.he wanted to go to sleep with you in his arms,placing small kisses on your sensitive neck while breathing the sweet scent of your shampoo that was left on your hair.he wanted to be the one who gets to comfort you when youre feeling down.he wanted to be the one who you share kids with.he loved you,so much more than you can even imagine.

you were both running out of breath,but were too stubborn to break the kiss.air was not that important anyway...

your hands gently found their way under his boxers as you felt his hardened lenghth rubbing againts your clothed cunt,peeking at the room with your right eye just to realise your friend was gone long ago,

and you were too all over each other to notice.

Bonus:

◆you did buy the dress in the end,cause your beloved Tooru ripped it apart

◆and you actually started thinking about starting a family with him,and he seemed to be on the same page as you but was looking for a great opportunity

◆he got the opportunity when he found you in your bed looking kinda sick,with a used baby check on the drawer a few days after "the incident" :D

Reblogs are super duper appreciated! ty for reading this and i hope you enjoyed it :)

[3vocatio]

the thing abt one of the most <3 solomon scenes being copied word for word for diavolo is just so. it's not even insane or unbelievable to me it's just extremely irritating like these are genuinely such wonderful characters in a wonderful setting how are the devs messing up on the writing bit THIS bad.

idm the fan service because like... otome game & all that but also that doesn't mean that they can't have a compelling plot and good writing to go with it????? especially in events like clearly they keep trying to include every single character and it just. doesn't work. and there are just SO MANY events too like if you're playing for non-plot purposes it's still so goddamn annoying because let the players breathe 😭

idk i just wish the writing quality in the game would improve at the very least. like it's fine if it's 'cringe' or wtv at least come up with original and decent plots instead of just repeating the same things over and over again yk?

sorry about the rant i've just been really pissed about this lately in the game 😭

oh my GOSH raaz solomon is the last person the obm devs haven't messed up (+ the new side characters, specifically mephistopheles) and i'm so terrified of the obm devs ruining him like they did everyone else...

in this new steampunk event, the locked route is SPECIFICALLY being catered for whales. unlocking the chapters was easy to build up to, but now you need 15 keys off the bat to continue, and i feel like it's heavily reflective of how indifferent the devs are towards actually doing their own characters justice. everything is meant to serve their whales, bring in more revenue, and sit comfortably even when they know they're angering their own fanbase by rubbing salt in the wound (i.e. making satan self-aware of his cat obsession, solomon outwardly expressing discomfort for the erasure of his humanity from other characters).

the devs are growing to completely disregard their own story, slapping together some fanservice in the main story when most of their fanbase can't even reach that point. why not serve your veterans & those who financially support you with consistent & cathartic story arcs? why not balance everyone, everything?

so i share your frustrations: obey me has been spiraling down in quality for a long time. i think that the last time i've been satisfied with the story was during season 2, when the fandom wasn't as big, and people were invested in figuring out what'll happen next because everything was cleverly panning out to a huge event: the dagger scene with lucifer. people didn't know what to make of simeon's play, and i remember when people theorized that the play would parallel a huge event near the end of the season... and we were right! and so many people were genuinely happy with the story being able to keep their interest and keep them on their toes.

now, there is a severe lack of anything reminiscent of holding anyone's interest, even the veterans, even me. i would woefully log onto tumblr as season 4's lessons rolled around every week, and would share everyone else's disappointment when we gradually accepted the fact that the story was easy to predict given how lazy the devs had become. i want them to take their time so badly, to give us quality over quantity, but with solmare now becoming so big with their new cash cow, obey me, compared to their previous cliche otome games, i think they've allowed the success to get to them.

thoughts of “it's an awful game, i hope no one plays it” and “it's a nice game to play, i can't wait to share my thoughts” are two things that can coexist, albeit shaped into something more along the lines of “it's a horrendous game that i can bond over with friends” once you find yourself being sucked deeper into it.

i don't think i'll stop playing anytime soon, because as i told someone in the past, “[it has] flavor in all of its terrible, atrocious glory”. i'm able to use concepts & ideas that the story gives me and, in my eyes, i get to make it better. i get to share my thoughts with like-minded people like you, and everyone jumps on the inspiration bandwagon. people bond over the same failures that makes us frustrated, and that's one of the few reasons i have any semblance of gratitude for obey me.

[homo-sex-shoe-whale]

Online shipping, the fetishisation of gay men, and the romanticisation of queer trauma

An essay by me!

Word count: 2.8k

A link to the Google Doc version of this essay.

A big thank you to my friends Nathan @themeerkatnate, Mav @not-mavv , and Duke @dukedark-ness for reading this essay and giving me their thoughts as mlms on the topic. Make sure to check out their blogs and give them a follow!

So I was on a lovely website by the name of Twitter.com yesterday, just scrolling through while having my afternoon cup of coffee, when I saw that viral post of a girl reading a Larry fanfic through a classroom projector. I'm sure most of you have seen it. It's gone viral on Instagram, TikTok, and likely Tumblr too, and if you haven't come across it I'm positive you will soon.

Now, after getting through my initial reaction to that post which was, holy fuck, that's so embarrassing, I had a second reaction of... wait, this ship is still around?

And after I had some thoughts on the incredible permanence of some online ships and the weird obsolescence of others, I did get to thinking of how lots of these popular ships seem to stem from the same types of perceived relationship dynamics and homophobic stereotypes.

These online fandoms often seem to have an obsession with objects of queer trauma, such as having to hide a relationship, lying about sexuality for self-preservation, and even social rejection. So, after some opinions from my followers and the great archive that is the internet, I've decided to discuss some of the most popular examples of online shipping and the particular nuances they came with.

NOTE: Out of respect for all these people, I won't be sharing viral images or videos of them in perceived romantic proximity (or even kissing, as is applicable for some examples), but I will be describing certain moments I deem to be relevant. So even if you're unfamiliar with them, you won't be confused as to what I'm talking about.

NOTE 2: Although not all people within these fandoms were/are toxic, this essay is focused on the overall toxicity of the fandoms, and how they are toxic more so as a "hive" than as a group of individuals. When I refer to a fandom I don't mean every person involved in the fandom, but rather the collective impact of the group.

 1. Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson 

This is arguably the most popular example of online shipping. The absolute permanence of this ship, and how its fandom never seems to fully die off even beyond the lifespan of One Direction as it once stood, is downright impressive.  

I'm going to be the first to admit I was never in the loop with this fandom. My childhood best friend was actually a massive Larry shipper and asked me to beta read one of her fics, but that was before I even knew who tf Harry and Louis were! Not because I avoided the fandom or even because I rejected the online shipping, but just by coincidence, I delved into the world of pop punk music right when One Direction began gaining its popularity. I bought my first ever album, Riot by Paramore, in 2011- only a year after One Direction made their X-Factor debut. So, this fandom just bypassed me by a sort of weird coincidence.

But I don't need to be in the loop with this fandom to know the astronomical obsession with these two men, no, these two BOYS, was extremely toxic. In 2010, when One Direction made their debut, Harry Styles was only 16 years old. And Louis Tomlinson wasn't much older at 19! This made the two of them incredibly young when this unprecedented wave of shipping hit the internet, and although that must be traumatising for anyone, I cannot even fathom how overwhelming it must've been for two boys that young.  

I'm 18, almost 19 now, and I cannot begin to imagine how scary it was for the two of them to have their every interaction nitpicked within an inch of its life by thousands upon thousands of people online. I do not know this myself, but from numerous recounts by some of my followers, this massively impacted Harry's and Louis' nondescript relationship in real life, seemingly driving the two previously close friends apart. 

Now, before we move on, there's something we need to talk about. And that is the obsession with the dominance/submission dynamic within the world of gay shipping. 

With almost every popular mlm (an acronym meaning man-loving-man) ship based on real people, it seems that fandoms have a particular fascination with power imbalances in these relationships. You don't even need to look at the insane amount of fanfictions based on BDSM to figure this out. In almost all of the examples I'll be citing today, there is an age gap within the perceived relationship and a person the fandom has seemingly decided to be the top/dominant figure. 

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are 3 years apart in age. Although it isn't all that relevant now, an age gap of 3 years when you're in your late teens is a lot more significant. In 2012, for example, when this shipping really started gaining traction, Harry Styles was 18 and Louis Tomlinson was 21. That power imbalance, albeit not that significant, is enough for a fandom to latch on to. We'll see this a lot more in the coming example with Dan and Phil.

 2. Dan Howell and Phil Lester

It's impossible to have a discussion about internet shipping without talking about Dan and Phil.

 Dan Howell and Phil Lester, although being popular YouTubers individually, are arguably one of the internet's most iconic duos. The two creators published their first videos together in 2009, and while their relationship was already a motive of speculation back then, the peak of the "Phan" shipping definitely came in the 2013-2016 era of Tumblr.

Now, I'm going to admit… I was actually on Tumblr when that happened. 

The 2013-2016 period perfectly aligns with my middle school days (I started middle school in 2013 and high school in 2016), and I was not only on Tumblr back then, but I was on Wattpad too! Again, this wasn't a fandom I had much contact with as I had a huge anime phase in middle school and I was on Tumblr posting mainly photography and Soul Eater content more than anything. 

But I did watch some of Dan and Phil's videos! And the occasional "Phan" content did not completely evade me as one of my closest friends in middle school had a fanchat for them. I wasn't involved in the fandom myself but they were actually one of the few English-speaking YouTubers I watched once in a blue moon (back then I watched mainly Brazilian YouTubers). One thing I did in fact notice over the years, around 2014ish perhaps, was that the two of them seemed to grow increasingly "awkward" around each other, in a way that many folks on the internet thought was reminiscent to Markiplier/Jacksepticeye, two YouTubers who also dealt with extraordinary amounts of shipping.

I'm not the only one who thinks this. The change in Dan and Phil's relationship, at least to the outside world, was clear to almost anyone who watched their videos for a while. I cannot blame them at all. The shipping was nuts. Between the countless fan videos, speculative comments, and insurmountable number of fanfics, there's no way the two of them didn't feel the weight of the shipping. The term "demon phannie" made its way into internet vernacular and there it stayed for years. Even Shane Dawson, who was one of the largest creators on the platform at the time, made several videos speculating on the nature of Dan and Phil's relationship and their sexual orientations. 

There was even porn made in which actors with similar appearances to the creators were made to have sex on camera. 

Now, this is actually a rare example where the two people involved in the ship actually came out as gay once the shipping seemed to die down. I'm incredibly happy Dan and Phil both reached a point where they were comfortable being publicly out, but I hate to say I'm shocked this day ever came. If I'd gone through what the two of them did, I don't know if I'd ever trust the internet. 

And again, this ship's fandom definitely had an obsession with the power dynamics they thought existed between the people within the ship. Dan Howell is 4 years younger than Phil Lester, and was only 18 in 2009, when they started making videos together. From my personal understanding, the shipping was often quite focused on this dominant/submissive dynamic especially in discussions from their early relationship. And this is in no way exclusive to Dan and Phil.

This general fascination with the older man/younger man dynamic, in my opinion, plays into the homophobic stereotype that gay men are predators. The idea that gay men usually seek younger men, and somehow "convince" them to engage in homosexual relationships, is popular homophobic rhetoric. The popularisation, exaggeration, and fetishisation of these power imbalances, in age and/or in relationship dynamics, is directly harmful to the mlm community. 

Not only that, but the romanticisation of a "hidden/forbidden relationship" is also detrimental not only to gay men and the mlm community, but to queer people as a whole. Queer people face huge trauma having to hide their relationships; queer attraction is already a societal taboo. And acting like this is good, or even desirable, is harmful to queer people as a whole, regardless of whether or not it's actually applicable to the people being shipped. It normalises this trauma not only to cisgender, heterosexual people, but to impressionable queer youth who grow to believe this type of trauma is to be expected. 

3. Frank Iero and Gerard Way

This is another example where the perceived power imbalances between the two subjects of the shipping were directly exploited online. Now, this ship did precede the others mentioned above. If we're looking at this topic chronologically, this particular ship did come first in the shipping timeline. It's closer to the origin of the shipping extended universe, if you will.

In case you aren't familiar with them, Frank Iero and Gerard Way are both members of the American emo band My Chemical Romance. This ship is the first one here of which I don't recall the full popularity. It really peaked in popularity around the late 2000s, circa 2008. And I don't remember this moment online as in 2008, I was only 6 years old and believe it or not, I wasn't really all that concerned with rumoured homoeroticism as a first grader. 

However, the popularity of this ship did carry over into the 2013-2015 Tumblr shipping boom. The emo fandom (or "bandom" as it was called) involving not only My Chemical Romance but other similar bands such as Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, and Pierce the Veil, found its hub on Tumblr. 

During this time, I did in fact listen to this style of music, but was focused a lot more on the anime side of Tumblr as mentioned earlier. Of course, I wasn't 13 years old like, "hey, this type of content might be harmful and can inadvertently perpetuate homophobic stereotypes," I just happened to care more about my silly little anime and ended up not getting involved. 

This ship does involve a discussion that the others don't, however. With Frank Iero and Gerard Way, there is quite often a certain sentiment of, "Oh, they brought this upon themselves!" as the two band members very famously kissed during a show in 2007. In my opinion, though, this doesn't really justify all the obsessive shipping. If you look at Green Day, a band often grouped in with MCR as another famous pop punk group, the members don't follow too different of a trajectory. Billie Joe Armstrong has, on numerous occasions, kissed both of his fellow band members onstage- particularly Tré Cool, the drummer. And Billie Joe Armstrong is openly bisexual, which none of the members of MCR seem to be but some, or even all of Billie's bandmates, are too. 

You'd think Green Day would face a lot more shipping as the more persistent onstage homoeroticism and Billie Joe's openness about his sexuality would warrant more "substantiated" speculation. However, Green Day faces nowhere near as much shipping as My Chemical Romance. Why is this? I actually don't know. It might've been because Green Day has been around for over a decade longer and generally has an older fandom, but I really am not that sure. 

 It could also be because of the lower lack of potential for forced relationship dynamics. The members of Green Day are all less than a year apart in age and are even similar in height. However, Frank Iero is 4 years younger than Gerard Way, who is not only the frontman of My Chemical Romance, but also considered to be the group's intellectual and creative "leader". Even beyond that, Gerard Way is quite visibly taller, and the perceived power difference between the two of them definitely did not elude their fans. 

This difference could even be partly due to the lack of a "mystery" with Green Day. There's not as much to speculate as, well… the members of Green Day are already open about their sexual orientations. It might be that shipping in the Green Day fandom has less of a forbidden appeal for most people. 

Of course, I won't just keep repeating myself, but my previous points about forced relationship dynamics still stand.

4. Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch

Better known for their roles in BBC Sherlock as Sherlock and Watson, Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch unfortunately had their roles follow them well into real life. This is the example I know least about, so have these thoughts from a follower by the name of @indubitably-a-goblin, who had the following to say:

"the main issues i had with it were:

a) they were both married at the time, freeman to amanda abbington and cumberbatch to sophie hunter (in which both had children)

b) the main reasoning for it was their chemistry in the many projects they've done together. which is, shockingly, their Whole Job. They're actors! That's what they're supposed to do! if they weren't good at interacting then they wouldn't be good actors! i don't know how people can't understand this.

c) they're real people. we don't know them. we aren't friends with them. we aren't their family members. we have zero right to be pushing this onto them and ruining their friendship by doing so. (this one relates to most of the ships you've mentioned though)

d) healthy friendships between two men are ignored so plainly in most medias and in fandom. its obvious that these two men have a relationship, but that doesn't mean it's a romantic one.

e) its fine to ship their characters, but actors shouldn't be treated as less-than-human or some sort of prop. they're doing a job, and once they are off-screen, they aren't here for your entertainment."

I believe she did a great job of summing it up on her own, and for the sake of avoiding redundancy, I'll leave it at that!

5. Corpse Husband and Sykkuno- an emerging yet subtle example

I am absolutely positive you remember how popular the game Among Us was a couple of months ago. And with the popularity of this game, some of its most prominent content creators became the targets of online shipping- as is the case with YouTubers and streamers Corpse Husband and Sykkuno. 

Although the shipping involving these two creators is nowhere near as strong as it was/is with the examples above, I do think there is once again a reemergence of a common theme here. Whilst Sykkuno is known for his happy-go-lucky, almost "innocent" persona, Corpse Husband is the antithesis of this, known for his much darker and moodier personality. 

Do I even have to mention what the common theme seems to be?

Again, although the popularity of shipping - at least with real people - seems to have died down a bit since the Tumblr shipping boom of the early to mid 2010s, I do believe this example is worth mentioning. Even though the creators are still close, they have in fact expressed discomfort regarding the shipping, and I can only hope the internet as a whole lets their friendship blossom and exist naturally without obsessive speculation. 

My final thoughts

As explored in the essay:

The romanticisation of objects of queer trauma as a part of online shipping normalises queer trauma to both cishet and queer youth. 

Online shipping, especially at a high intensity, can end up negatively impacting the very relationships they pine over. 

The relationship dynamics often forced on mlm ships perpetuate homophobic stereotypes about non-heterosexual men. 

If anyone else has thoughts on this matter, do share! This essay is moreso an opinionated observational piece and isn't meant to be taken as fact but rather just as my thoughts on the matter. I hope it was useful as a reflective piece regardless!

Date of posting: June 16th 2021

[youngbloodslut]

celebrity crush | 2/??

a/n: the first interview is mostly based off of dove cameron and ava max’s interviews with popbuzz

summary: actress! reader somehow manages to bring up her crush on calum hood in every interview

pairing(s): calum hood x reader, platonic! reader x tom holland

warning(s): swearing? slight mentions of kinks

“She’s at it again mate,” Ashton smirked as he carried his laptop over to Calum who was sat on the sofa. He flipped open the computer and hit play on y/n y/l/n’s newest interview.

“C’mon, I don’t wanna-” Calum rubbed his hand over is face and shook his head.

Ashton ignored him and turned up the volume to drown out his protest. “Shhh.. watch.”

“Hey guys, I’m y/n y/l/n and this is the Pop Buzz Tower of Truth.” You spoke as the title popped up on screen.

“I think I’m gonna end up tipping it before I can even get one block out,” You said as you tried to carefully pull of a wooden block. 

“That will never work,” Calum heard a voice from off camera say and recognized it as Tom Holland. He tried not to frown as you laughed and mocked him.

“Y’know what, we’re leaving that one.” You laughed, leaving the original block alone and easily pulling out another block.

“There we go. Okay, what was the last movie or tv show that make you cry? Dead Poets Society. I love Dead Poets Society so much and Tom had never seen it so we watched it after finishing yesterdays interviews.” You placed the block on top of the tower. “And he cried.”

The camera crew laughed as Tom shouted a, “Hey!”

“Tell us one thing about you that we don’t know. Um, this is hard because I’m always saying stuff that I shouldn’t be. Um, I’m an Oxford comma worshiper.” You said, unsure whether or not that’s interesting enough.

“Oxford comma?” A crew member behind the camera questioned.

“Yeah, y’know, the comma that comes before ‘and’ when making a list. I hate that people don’t use it because then I get all confused. Like if I were to write ‘Lizzie, Tom, and Robert are going to the party’ and I don’t add a comma before ‘and’ then it seems like Tom and Robert would be arriving at the party together. But some people who don’t use the Oxford comma could mean that all three people were showing up separately so I never know. Y’know what I mean?”

The camera crew were all silent after her rant and Calum chuckled a bit to himself. He thought it was cute that you were so passionate about the smallest things. Ashton looked over to him as Calum admired you through the screen. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew Calum secretly liked how much you talked about him.

“No,” Tom responded honestly

“Ugh,” You rolled your eyes dramatically and looked into the camera, “See, these are the type of guys you got to look out for: Un-grammarly men.” You joked.

“Un-grammarly isn’t a thing.” Tom laughed.

“Well if it were a thing, you’d be one.” You fired back at Tom.

“Anyway, who is your favorite artist right now? Um, probably Wallows, I love them and their music.”

“I was really expecting Calum Hood to be honest.” Tom shouted from across the room.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I just forgot about him like that. I love you Calum Hood. I love 5sos.” You held up your hands into a heart shape and moved your hands from side to side. 

You then dropped them and grabbed another block. “Sorry, I keep forgetting that people are actually going to see these interviews. Like, he could literally see this. Dude, I hope he doesn’t.” You paused, “Oh god, do you think he knows about my crush on him?” You had been mentioning him for years and it had never once occurred to you that he could actually see these. 

Calum laughed at the irony of the situation. Here he was watching a video of you saying you hoped he’d never see said video.

“This is humiliating.” You mumbled though you didn’t seem to actually care, “Who was your first celebrity crush? Oh uh, definitely Andrew Garfield. I remember when I first watched the Social Network and I was like obsessed. My friend and I both watched it over 10 times within like two months. And then would continuously make Mark Zuckerberg jokes. But of course, Calum Hood now owns my heart.” You put the block on top of the tower. “I’m actually doing really good, I thought I’d knock it down by now.”

“Describe in detail the worst date you’ve ever been on. Okay so I was like fifteen right, and, well I’m not even sure if this counts as a date. I think he considered it a date so I guess it was but basically we were in the car, he was sixteen so he could drive. We were in the drive through, we had already ordered, and he started feeling around in is pockets and I was like oh god, cause I knew what was about to happen. He was like, ‘oh no i think i lost my wallet’, and I was like its fine I’ll pay. I really didn’t mind. I ended up paying, we got our drinks and without missing a beat, we hadn’t even pulled out of the drive through, he was like’oh here’s my wallet.’ I really didn’t mind paying for my coffee, I wouldn’t mind paying for both of our coffees. But him going out of his way to lie, and then not even lie well, was so irritating.” She placed the block on the top and picked up a new one.

“What is the most useless idem you’ve ever purchased? Um, I bought a seven foot giraffe while I saw drunk once.” The block was added to the top, the tower now taller than you. “He’s in my living room if you wanted to know.”

You grabbed the next block carelessly, immediately regretting it when the tower fell behind you, “Oh shit, well I guess we’re done then.” You said nonchalantly, looking at the blocks on the floor. “I don’t think I’ll be playing this again anytime soon. Love you guys,” You held up your hands, “Love you Calum Hood.” You winked before the outro began to play.

“She must really love you, Cal.” Ashton poked Calum’s cheek annoyingly, “She’s got no shame.”

Calum wouldn’t admit it, but as soon as he got home he looked you up again. He clicked on the same video Ashton showed him and scrolled through the comments. 

y/nscalumhoodkink: MOMOMOMOMOMOM

datemey/n: Queen of Jenga

ashtonfletchersbitch: Y/N LITERALLY IS ME

5esohes: no because y/n y/l/n and calum hood together is my kink

noemptywalletshere: not only does y/n own this fandom, but my ass too

He couldn’t help but laugh at the comments no matter how interesting they were. But something in the back of his head kept yelling at him. She doesn’t acting like you. Shes just likes your music, nothing more. He sighed and clicked out of the video and was about the close his laptop when his cursor handed on a video. 

Y/n Y/l/n foaming at the mouth while talking about Calum Hood for 5 minutes straight.

He clicked on it a little too quickly and waited for it too load. 

“Calum Hood choke me challenge.” You stuck out your tongue and threw up a peace sign with an innocent look plastered on here face. 

“Bro imagine if Calum Hood saw this?” “Oh he would definitely fall for you after this video”

The third thing to pop up was a tweet from 2015 just saying: #marrymecalumhood

“Calum Hood send me hand pics. This is a demand, not a request.”

Calum continued to watch the entire video. Normally, the thirsty comments would have made him uncomfortable, but them coming from you made his heart race and cheeks flush.

God, what was happening to him?

[espritmuse]

—𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄—

⌕ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Lara Tybur from aot (x reader)

⌕ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut warning, mention of mommy kink, cum, hair pulling, semi public sex…

⌕ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: hi guys <3 since you may know, Lara tybur is my new obsession… she’s just so pretty and mysterious, I’m in love. I always wanted to do a nsfw alphabet and I don’t think anyone made one about her already so here I am!! Reblogs are very much welcomed since she isn’t very popular in the fandom :(

—𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐓 - 𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐀—

⊹₊ ⋆A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

The sweetest creature. She always takes her time with you, no matter who was in charge during intercourse. Most of the time, she runs a bath for both of you; she then sits behind you, her hands all over your chest protectively. She takes her time and helps you wash your delicate skin. After that she just goes to sleep on her bed, her body all over yours or, sometimes, she holds you in her sleep, just to feel even closer to your warmth.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Lara’s favourite part of her body is probably her breasts. They’re very soft, plump, and delicate, painted by the angels themselves. She loves when she finds the tip of your tongue all over them, your lips wrapped around her pink nipple, adoration in your eyes.

She probably prefers your face. Out of everything. She just loves it, the way your lips curve into a small smile at anytime of the day, the way your eyes shines when you notice something adorable, or even the way your gaze gets lost in hers whenever she’s talking about anything.

But also the way your features feels under her touch when her core is all over your face, when her mouth is agape, eyes watering thanks to the stimulation you’re giving her, legs fragile and almost trembling.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

She’s such a dirty girl but she hides it very well. So, at first, she’ll pretend to hate it when you come undone all over her stomach but, too bad for her you had already noticed a glimpse of excitation in her eyes. Oh she loves it. So much. That’s why she adores when you ride her face, she can then have your wet pussy all over her mouth without any complaints.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Public sex. Or at least, semi-public sex. She loves the thrill of it, the excitation of feeling like you both could get caught in a minute if anyone opened the door, if anyone decided to turn in this poorly lit street… maybe that all she wants, someone seeing you and her like that.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I don’t think she’s very experimented. Her family is one of a kind. They're very strict and severe about her education and forbade her any misbehaving, including romantic relationships. But it’s for the better, now you can experiment everything with her.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Face riding like I previously explained, she loves feeling your entirety beneath her, feeling your warmth and all your wetness, being the cause of your pleasure. The view is pretty nice too.

Missionary, this goes without saying, very basic but she just loves feeling you close to her at such a vulnerable moment, whenever it’s you or her on top. She may have a preference for when she’s under you, just so she can tease you more, caress your cheeks with her fingers or even digs her nails into your back when her pleasure is too much for her.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Serious, as always. But she likes when you tease her a bit and try to make her smile and laugh. Okay maybe she isn’t that serious.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Well trimmed. I think that she doesn’t really like when there is nothing down there but she doesn’t like a bush either. So yeah, she keeps it well trimmed and obliviously her hairs are dark brown/ blackish.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

She loves whispering sweet nothings in your ears. Little “I love you”s hidden between two loud whimpers… Her lips are always all over yours, and her hand is always finding its way to yours too. She just feels better like that, her baby close to her.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Oh, she used to do that a lot in her little bedroom. Since daddy and mommy never allowed her to do anything, she has to do it herself. But that was before you started sneaking in her room at night without her family knowing. Now she doesn’t need her fingers anymore, why would she? Yours are so much better.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Hair pulling, she’s always wearing this stupid bun, so you just love ripping off the hairband and grabbing all of her long dark brown locks in your fist when you hit from the back.

Mommy kink. The word probably slipped out of your mouth and you thought that it was the most embarrassing shit ever. No. She just smiled and continued what she was doing, calling you her little baby in your ears.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bed. Yeah it’s basic but it’s her favourite. Comfy and convenient, any positions or almost are possible and she just feels better there. Or just her bedroom in general because she likes when you fuck her on her desk when she’s overworking <3

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Her motivation is the little praises that escape your mouth when she fucks you to good as well as your melodious moans when she goes down on you. Nothing better for her than hearing all of that, feeling that she’s pleasuring you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anal. I really don’t think she’s into that at all. Or she’ll try maybe, if you really want to, but just once. An anal plug is her limit.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Oh God she loves giving. She’s very good with her mouth too, she relies on your pretty noises to know if she’s doing good or not. But don’t get her wrong, she also loves when you do it on her too, especially when you use both of your tongue and fingers.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Most of the time, she is slow and sensual. She likes taking her time on you, touching all of your soft skin, admiring your face when she’s on top…

But if you’re a bit rougher on her, she doesn’t really mind either, in fact, she secretly loves it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

She isn’t a big fan of them to be honest, like I said she prefers when things are unhurried, sensual etc.

It doesn’t mean that she’s totally against it tho, she loves when you grab her thighs to put them on the kitchen counter before playing a bit with her body <3

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Except for public/semi-public sex, I don’t think that she’ll do too many risky things. Maybe she likes when you place your hand around her neck too.

Oh God yes and also she secretly likes when you threaten her to say everything to her parents (the fact that you sneak in her bedroom at night just to fuck her stupid) if she isn’t obedient. She’s a very well behaved puppy after that !

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

She can last very long, we may forget it but she’s very well trained, she’s a Titan after all… So yeah no stamina problem for her, she can go for a lot of rounds.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

You’re the one who introduced toys to her, showing her proudly your pretty collection. She loves them, really. Her favourite is the strap on, of course, especially when you use it on her little pussy, she’s so sweet, all delighted to open her legs for you <3 She also likes using it on you, she likes penetrating you with a dildo when she eats you out.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

She likes to tease but not that much. Most of the time she’s doing it very very discreetly in public, sitting on your lap and moving her thighs together slowly just for your to notice, when she bends down to pick up something she has “accidentally” dropped just in front of you just so you can see the curve of her ass and a bit of her white lace lingerie.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Aw, she was so timid at first, too embarrassed to make any noises in front of you. But after some nights, you told her and taught her that it was okay, that you really wanted to hear her pretty moans. She was very happy and now, you have to be the one to remind her to keep quiet when she’s too loud.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

She loves when you fuck her with her clothes on. When you just lift her skirt and slid her pantie to the side because you’re too excited to penetrate her. Bonus point if you do that on the wall, floor or anything that isn’t her bed.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I imagine her with very plump and round breasts, roseate nipples, and a toned stomach thanks to all of the training she had to go through. She doesn’t have a tiny pussy tho, it’s very cute, her inner lips are a bit long, only half covered by her outer lips.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not too high nor too low honestly. She’s kinda needy when you don’t touch her for more than two days tho. She just loves doing it with you, she can’t get enough.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Very very fast, once both of your bodies clean, she goes back to her bed and falls asleep. If you’re staying for the night (she always begs you to and honestly, how could you resist her.) she’ll try to stay awake a bit longer just so she can talk to you before you leave her the next morning.