#its really something when the two fandoms you obsess over the most come together

[the-classics-club-anthology]

Okay okay so this poll is over but I still want to give my two cents so.

Oreki Houtarou is not a wonder kid. He's just your average guy who doesn't like adventures and just wants to stay in his cozy home all day and lead an average and normal life. However, when push comes to shove, he proves to be extremely resourceful and intelligent. Sound familiar? Not to mention, he has loyal companions who would follow him to the ends of the earth. Finally he has a certain affinity for fading into the background and going unnoticed. Stealth powers. I'd say he fits the bill a little too well.

He does give the vibe of a character who doesn't do very well with outdoor activities, and that's bad when your plan is essentially a cross country hike (while being chased by undead creatures on horses) But the Hobbits weren't necessarily outdoorsy creatures either. At least not cross country hikers. Given that Houtarou, with his loyal companions Satoshi, Mayaka and Chitanda, are making this trip along with the rest of the Fellowship, I'd say Oreki has a very good chance of making it.

Would Oreki succumb to the power of the One Ring? I'd say he has about as much chance of that as Frodo. Oreki isn't ambitious. He sees himself as something of an outcast but he isn't vengeful. He has his friends and is perfectly happy with them. The only way the ring could truly tempt him, I think, is through his need to be needed, to feel useful (it's something he has a hard time coming to terms with himself but nevertheless it's there). But he's already playing a key role by being the ring bearer and Oreki would not want to fail at that and let his friends down (have I mentioned his friends are everything to him)

Thus, in conclusion, Oreki would make it to Mordor. He may not be able to destroy the ring but that's fine. He's only human.

[anghraine]

I was thinking about my personal "TOS is really its own thing" headcanons for K/S, and also, that one of the things that really surprised me when I actually marathoned the whole series was the acknowledged ethical issue around captain/crew fraternization.

To rewind back to my ship, lol: I definitely think that Spock and Kirk are obsessively in love with each other, and it's pretty obvious that every other relationship and person in their lives pales in comparison, but I don't actually imagine that they've said or done anything about this beyond the kinds of things we've seen onscreen.

I mean. Yes, that includes things like "when Kirk gets a massage on the bridge for his back pain, he just assumes it's Spock and is intensely uncomfortable to discover it's someone else" + the two of them saying breathtaking romantic things with obvious heart eyes while ignoring the existence of everyone around them + Kirk's most compelling and insightful love interest remarking that Spock obviously belongs with him as if he always will be at Kirk's side + everything "Amok Time" chooses to be + mutual seething jealousy/Spock excising his rival from Kirk's mind while he sleeps + Kirk saying Spock is closer to him than anyone in the universe + Spock regularly abandoning his principles when it comes to Kirk etc etc etc. But I don't think they've actually said what they feel or initiated a (physically) sexual relationship during TOS itself.

Taking TOS by itself and ignoring the regular reboots of their characterizations in ... well, everything else, I definitely feel like they're moving inexorably towards that kind of unambiguous romantic relationship in TOS, just that they haven't quite taken that last step yet.

In fact, I suspect that the "You are closer to the captain than anyone in the universe" statement from bodysnatched Kirk to Spock is likely the most explicit statement either has made about how they feel or what their relationship really is, and it carefully stops just short of saying too much. And it's immediately followed by a) a mind-meld, I think the fourth between them, but the first in which Spock effortlessly melds them without a single word to help, and b) one of the most extended periods of physical contact between them, with iirc over two minutes of Spock holding Kirk's bare hand/wrist on screen as they try to escape together signifying nothing, with scene cuts suggesting the actual duration may in fact be longer (*gasps in Vulcan*).

The show ends with that episode because of the cancellation, but there's something weirdly apropos about it as a finale on a purely shipping level. I definitely felt like the dynamic between them has reached such a point by "Turnabout Intruder" that there's no going back. But I don't think anything more significant than what we've seen has happened off screen, just that the acknowledgment of the nature of their feelings and the shift to an overtly romantic, sexual relationship seem inevitable at this point. And by "overtly," I mean to each other, not necessarily anyone else.

There are various reasons I feel this way. Partly it's the high-octane yearning and repression that both exhibit in very different ways, which I think make more sense if they haven't acknowledged anything yet or transitioned away from pretending it's platonic. But one reason I envision them as Not Quite There But Definitely Going To Be, that I've rarely seen mentioned thus far, is something I would never have guessed from pop culture or even fandom osmosis.

Early in the series, Kirk explicitly states that he considers his crew completely off-limits in a romantic context. This ethical restriction applies only to him and not any other senior officers. Throughout the rest of the series, we're told and shown that Starfleet does not forbid fraternization among crew members of different ranks. Kirk himself says that it would be fine for Spock to have a romantic relationship with Janice Rand, just not Kirk.

And moreover, Kirk never does voluntarily enter a romantic relationship with any crew member. He and Janice Rand have a mutual infatuation for awhile that both handle with as much professionalism as possible. The closest thing to an openly romantic interaction with a crew member is probably Kirk kissing Helen Noel after Helen and Dr. Adams artificially screwed around with his memories and feelings—but we discover in the process that he was the one who refused to do more than dance at the Christmas party, when he backed off and scrupulously talked about space while Helen was the one with the unsentimental sex fantasy who keeps pushing his boundaries even in the present. That's why he's so unusually hostile; they were never together, even as a fling, and she hasn't taken no for an answer.

I guess Kirk and Mulholl agreeing to be possessed by married aliens for a final goodbye kiss is sort of ...? I mean. You get it, sometimes there's some sci-fi plot device, but nothing real and nothing while he has full control of his body and mind.

Kirk's real exes are all former long-term girlfriends, most of them also part of Starfleet and professionals in science or science-adjacent fields, but never crew members.

It's not 100% clear in TOS if the repeated statements and suggestions about lack of Starfleet restrictions on fraternization except wrt the captain is Starfleet policy, or just Kirk's personal stance. Kirk says he's not allowed to have a relationship of that kind with Janice Rand in "The Naked Time," but he's contracted the disease by then and it's part of a generally unhinged ramble. It's later stated that romance isn't forbidden on Starfleet vessels, but that's about crew romances in general and not the captain in particular. So it's difficult to know the real source of the ethical prohibition. Maybe there are actual regulations around this (makes sense) or maybe it's just a hard ethical line that Kirk has independently chosen for himself (also makes sense), but when he's functional and autonomous enough to be held responsible for his actions, this is a line he does not cross.

The point here is that, while I don't remotely blame other K/S fans for ignoring this inconvenient fraternization detail, Spock is a member of Kirk's crew. Yes, he's a senior officer and the highest-ranking person on the ship after Kirk himself, so maybe it wouldn't be as egregious as with someone else—but then again, maybe Kirk propositioning Spock would be considered even more unethical than propositioning Janice, since Janice at least has other authorities over her, while Spock answers directly to Kirk in the chain of command and will do virtually anything Kirk tells or asks him to do.

Kirk and Spock's relationship is intense and [gestures] everything enough that there are scenarios where I could imagine Kirk dropping this otherwise non-negotiable ethical line (the classic is, of course, "Spock's human heritage makes his pon farr cycle erratic and it comes back early ... oh no..."). I don't think we've seen any such scenario during TOS, though.

In any case, I feel like Kirk is unlikely to proposition Spock either romantically or sexually during the five-year mission. After years of constant proximity and yearning and ostensibly platonic hijinks and assuming it would never happen, I could see his resolve crumbling if Spock tried to initiate a romance with him. But that is also unlikely throughout most of TOS, because of Spock's own hang-ups around emotion and attachment—he's struggling with shame over feeling basic friendly affection, and in reality he feels far more than that.

I also don't think their true preferences when it comes to love, or their sense of what love really is for them, are inclined towards casual/undefined relationships or even poly relationships. So I don't personally envision them as FWBs or in a "they were in love but not taking it that seriously" scenario; I don't think either situation would be all that probable or desirable for them. They're both conspicuously jealous of anything or anyone that could possibly compete with their own absolute centrality in each other's lives; Spock never so much as kisses anyone without being dubconned into it and is guilty about having friends; Kirk's entire sexual history when it's not For The Mission is consistently geared towards long-term and sentimentally romantic relationships. Kirk supplies a very clear, emphatic description of love as he understands it:

Is he important to you, more important than anything? Is he as though he were a part of you? [...] But you can't really love him. You haven't the slightest knowledge of love, the total union of two people.

Kirk understands impossible/forbidden love in terms of some fundamental separation from a single beloved, being perpetually apart from them and unable to achieve the kind of absolute joining of lives and minds that he regards as love. (In some ways, this seems an incredibly Vulcan perspective on love, which, well.)

I think he and Spock are close to crossing the last barriers to that point of absolute union by "Turnabout Intruder," given their extreme intimacy as well as the very real possibility of grafting their lives and minds to each other in the way both pretty clearly crave. But I feel like there are only two ways it can really happen: 1) some wildly fortunate circumstance makes it ethically justifiable for Kirk to approach Spock, or 2) Spock makes the first move, which means that unless they're just randomly very lucky, everything hangs on him coming to terms with himself.

Then again, I also think Spock's arc across the show is building towards a point where he is coming to terms with himself in that way, with asserting what he wants, what bothers him, and what he's willing to reach for or accept. By the finale, I can believe he's truly on the point of getting there.

The movies hit the reset and retcon buttons hard, but taking TOS by itself as aired, the arc of their relationship and its development over the course of the show feels more hopeful to me. I can believe that S3 Spock has grown into himself enough to get to the point he needs to be at to make the first ("first") move before much longer. This is the Spock who essentially told Starfleet to go fuck themselves because they wouldn't let him jeopardize a fraught diplomatic situation to search for Kirk, told Sulu to scan for Kirk for potentially years, then defied explicit orders and tracked him down personally. There is very little he wouldn't do for Kirk by S3.

Kirk, meanwhile, has never been anything but 1000% receptive to whatever Spock is willing to give him; he spends a significant portion of TOS looking like he's about to dissolve into hearts at eye contact and a slight mouth twitch from Spock, if that. By S3, though, he's visibly more ground-down and tired, he's been put through further horrors that he often only escaped via his intimacy with Spock, and he's increasingly desperate for real connection. I can believe that at this point, he'd finally be at "fuck it" if Spock's love was on the table.

So I don't think that during the time period of TOS, their romance is formalized at all, or even acknowledged, or that they have a sexual relationship beyond the turbo-charged UST and frequent physical contact (to a degree that seems likely obscene on Vulcan. but as Spock no doubt justifies to himself, they're not on Vulcan). But I also think that by the end of the show, their dynamic has moved towards a stage where the shift to an unambiguously romantic relationship, even if hidden, feels inevitable and imminent. I genuinely feel like they're so close to full honesty with each other at this point that it can't be long, and that's with over a year of the mission left.

[wrenkenstein]

OC creation musings + Juno retrospective

I was rewatching this video by Rea, and it struck me that this exact phenomenon happened to me in 2022, with the first inklings of Juno's design - back when I couldn't decide on whether or not her name would be "Juno" or "Kite", and desperately trying not to make her a scientist. She's obviously come such a long way since then, having now become a very well-known character in the fandom, but I often think of the fact that had she not become on of my artistic passions, I probably wouldn't be anywhere near where I am today.

Juno is absolutely everything to me. She is a representative of my passion for storytelling, and she connected me with so many of my now closest friends - one of which is currently living in my house! How crazy is that, man! All of which I can attribute to simply becoming so fixated on my own OC that I couldn't stop thinking about her, or drawing her.

Of course, that's come with some highs and lows. She's getting a professionally done cosplay, a 3D model and potentially a Battlefront mod - but she also has her own dedicated group of haters who think she represents the 'wrongs' of fandom, lol. I certainly have recieved my fair share of 'Juno hate' in my 3-4 years here, but the positivity and support make it well worth dealing with a few rotten apples. It's radiant and outpouring, like a warm ray of sun, and it keeps me going deep into the night.

Anyways. Total tangent. Want to see all her design iterations? Yea you do ;) Here's the first ever Juno ref!

I made this on my phone in 2022, at the tale end of watching TCW and back when TBB was just one season. You can definitely see that the idea was always there, just a bit disjointed in its application. That gas mask on her helmet ended up causing a lot of confusion, so I removed it in later iterations - but to this day, I think this one picture is what really captivated me. Something about the aura, man,, she scary lookin

Then, of course, I had to draw what her face would look like - if it hadn't been for a RP, I don't think I would have.

Woah - she's like a whole different person! And you can see the beginnings of her white hair streak, though back then, I wanted i to be really subtle. And I was soooo adamant about this lol. She also was almost beat for beat Ellen Ripley, and you can see me paint over a picture of Sigourney below with her OG faceclaim haha.

Then we have the Juno-ing... part two. Where I went darker!! Both in themes, and in her color scheme. This one still has so much personality, and I remember being obsessed with how I drew her eyes and face back then. Nowadays, I think it's hideous. xD This was also around the time I was phasing out her gauntlets and oxygen mask, but both still remained for practicality purposes, even if they didn't serve anything to the design. Oh, and the hair streak. Now it's a Thing :tm: but it isn't really flowing well with the design - not yet, anyways!

We finally get to a point where I, begrudingly, accept the fact that her white streak is going to be her facial focal point - and at this point I'm laughing about how much I tried to avoid it LOL. But here, we also see her get more and more refined. Her face is still a bit wonky, but the stern vibe and posture are starting to come together and tell more of a concrete story, even if the reference doesn't have as much color or personality as the last one. I also did this one for my senior year of college!

I even designed her some totally BS civvies - and I gave her a s2 paint job, which admittedly looks hideous LMAOOO but we ball regardless. The second design was scrapped anyways almost immediately. The civvies stayed!

And then, of course, THE FINALE! Her face went through so many iterations with her current ref, but thus far, it's been the longest standing and most accurate one. It atually started out just as me goofing off with a marker pen in CSP, that quickly changed to "hey... this could be something good." And I was right! This is the Juno that's currently circulating today, and I've been polishing and refining her as I go, since I still feel as though I could perfect things.

And then, of course, her various outfits, which I posted about a while back. Oh - and have you seen Baby Juno?

Well now you have. :)

I think it's so cool to see how someone can fixate on a character and pour so much love and thought into them, that this character becomes their entire brand. Juno inhabits every part of my brain space and is what I think about 24/7. I'm so proud of how far she comes, and she reminds me about how incredible fandom can be and continues to be! Something about her is just so intoxicating to me. I can't get enough of her, and I can't wait to keep developing her over the years to come.

Which then begs the question - what is your equivalent to this entire thread? Do you have an OC like Juno, who you're fixated on and who dominates your creative pursuits? Do they have multiple artistic iterations? Because if you do, share them!! I WANNA SEEEEEE.

Anyways, that's Wren's Ramblings for today ~ I got bored haha

SHARE YOUR OCS!!!! >:0

[awsugar]

And I forgot about the DRUMS!!! I think this is an album they may have been working on for years. I think they are going for a magnum opus

yea so i read this went you sent it at 6am cause ive been out of work sick for a few days now and my sleep is allll messed up. and i tinhatted EXTREMELY close to the sun on this one. but i kind of think im cooking. so let me explain.

also ill just say i think because we know somethings coming but we dont know what BUT we know there are threads throughout somehow connecting things from years prior like. all tinhatting is plausible until proven otherwise. if we want to draw a connection between two things we CAN. and i think thats why im so on board with mcr5 now when i havent been since 2019. bc ive done this before. i was in the trenches for the danger days rollout/promo and the transmissions on the website and everything and THAT was one of the most exciting times of my life and THIS reminds me of that. im glad people never gave up on mcr5 but they never gave me ENOUGH before now to really run with. and now they have and its a free for all. THIS is what being an mcr fan is about. tbh. this is what this fandom has been missing for AGES. when they dont give us teasers and lore and crpytic messages we devolve into like theorizing and arguing with each other about who they are as people. but this is the basis of mcr community to me....getting together with your pals inside your phone and inside your laptop (who now have grown ito irl friends for so many of us) and dissecting every shred of info they give us. thank god for my chemical romance.

ANYWAY sorry that. went down a path i didnt intend when i started. so yes um so what you said about them going for a magnum opus. let me tell you a little story. when i was in my first year of being a my chem fan, i was 13, i became QUICKLY obsessed, first with the black parade and then after i spent i think 2 months straight listening to nothing but the black parade on repeat all day every day (literally) i ventured into their other stuff and got like really sucked in to everything else, reading articles and interviews and watching every video of them youtube had to offer and talking about them 24/7 on the forums instead of doing homework, i would sneak the family laptop into my room at night so i could keep reading about them and talking about them instead of having to go to sleep it was THE most exhilarating and exciting time of my life. anyway. i remember (16 years later) reading a specific review of the black parade that said something like "my chemical romance will never top this album and they know it" and i STILL REMEMBER sitting on the couch and crying over it. because i had never listened to music that had made such an impact on me as the black parade IN MY LIFE. nothing had ever made me feel that way and that strongly as listening to that album. you know how we all always say we wish we could listen to my chem for the first time again just to have that feeling again. that was me. i had never experienced an album of their when it came out and i felt like the author of the article was telling me that i would basically never acheive that high again. it was devastating. i promise this is relevant. bc regardless of your PERSONAL FAVORITE my chem album, it is generally agreed upon that the black parade is their magnum opus. it just is. both in scale and musically and its impact on pop culture and its the best known to a general audience.

so you say they're going for a magnum opus. when the black parade is DEAD. they killed it. (in the new lore they were sent to the MOAT which i assume is some kind of exile and stripping of their status as the national band)

and so i started thinking about "in the face of extermination say FUCK YOU" and i think this applies here two-fold actually. MAYBE 3-fold. on one hand, in-universe. extermination being the concrete age, the dictator holding the people down and exterminating their livelihood. but also the extermination of the black parade! and then - irl - we have the extermination of mcr's chances of doing something huge again like this. music publications resigning them as soon as the album came out to never achieving something as epic and grand as that again.

and the FUCK YOU being, the opposition of the dictator from the people, the black parade being reinstated but? maybe they have plans to overthrow the dictator? IRL mcr saying fuck you, we can actually use the concept that you said was the best we would ever do, completely turn it on its head, and make something even more grandiose and epic and MAGNUM OPUS.

and also hail just reminded me obv of the UNKILLABLES drumhead in sydney. which both relates to franks personal experience there but also like. with this concept of in the face of extermination say fuck you. along with his end of tour post being a cockroach, notoriously unkillable! notoriously a target for extermination!!!!

god theres so many layers to this but i needed to get it off my chest do you still like me

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/780098746577010688/httpswwwtumblrcomdearweirdme7800703537519493

You are missing my point terribly. Also saying that the people who don’t agree with your takes are homophobic is crazy lol. There are many people out there who understand that love can happen to anyone even same sex bandmates but they just don’t agree with your analysis and conclusions on taekook because over the years there’s been tons of things that have openly debunked the idea that they are a couple. So if I am getting what you are saying right, you think it is ok for you and your fandom to laugh and call other shippers delusional and brainwashed because you don’t see the logic in their claims but when others say that about you and your fandom you call them homophobes? It’s not that they don’t believe that two guys can be together, your fandom has a bad reputation and is considered culty and delusional because you vehemently refuse to accept that you are wrong no matter how much factual information debunks your claims. You would rather make the impossible, possible and come up with the most ridiculous unbelievable explanations than just think that maybe you are wrong.

The only way a taekooker can make taekook as a ship make any sort of sense is to basically accuse everyone around Tae and Jk of hiding them at one point or another. Your ship cannot make sense on its own unless you say that the company played dirty, other ships were there to cover them, the members themselves have to be reduced to impulsive liars, cheats and manipulators. You literally twist everything to fit the mold. If you were asked to take away your theories about the company, other ships, other people and just use only Tae and Jk themselves and make that ship make sense would you be able to do that? You can’t because inorder to believe that Taekook is real, there is so many other ridiculous things you have to believe in to and I am pretty sure many of you, in those moments when you actually sit down and think about it find those excuses ridiculous but you need to hold on to something to keep your beliefs alive. For years your fandom survived on pure lies, edits, manipulations and blatantly twisting of reality. People like to feel like they belong among a few who know what others don’t and who are smart enough to see past the lies of government and in this case big bad Hybe. That builds obsession to a particular belief and course and makes people truly believe they are fighting for the voiceless. That is how your fandom managed to keep growing bigger even during the Taekook droughts and one of the reasons why taekookers are generally seen as a cult. You don’t allow space for reason as you have decided to firmly believe in what you want to believe and not what is the truth. Jk and Tae could literally show proof tomorrow of constantly being with other men or women but majority of taekookers will still find a way to argue that.

Just know that just the way you sit here looking at others like idiots who cannot accept reality, that is the exact same way the world looks at Taekookers so you can imagine how funny it is for someone to see a taekooker calling others delusional. Just imagine a pot calling a kettle black. That’s how it looks.

Hi again,

I’ve been sitting at this ask and trying to actually respond to everything… but it turns out I just have no shits to give. I don’t care about your opinion of me. Truly I don’t. Underneath you find what I managed to get out… but I honestly don’t feel you are worth the effort. In a nutshell though.. I disagree with basically everything you said.

I’m not missing your point, I just seem to really not care. I know there’s little point to this conversation, because you and I are very different. You think I’m delusional and hypocritical, I think you are narrowminded and naive.

There have been no debunks of tkk. You yourself have accepted some things as ‘factual’ debunks, but that’s not what those things were.

‘You can’t because inorder to believe that Taekook is real, there is so many other ridiculous things you have to believe in’

And this tells me that you consider the reality of closeted artists to be ridiculous. So tell me.. where are all the queer idols? Maybe to you closeted artists, pr relationships, manipulative and abusive companies are ridiculous thoughts, but I believe that for too many persons this is reality.

I think you come into this conversation with a very western mindset. You look at fandom and see plenty of openminded accepting fans. Is that correct though, or is that because those are the people you come across because of your place in the world? I very much question this.

[shierak-inavva]

Feral for how many people love your art of Rogueneto. Beautiful. I’d love nothing more than marvel comics to give them a proper chance for once, comics are all about new and fresh ideas. It’s a new era, they deserve it, the fans deserve it. Everything in marvel always comes full circle so I don’t see why the harm is, look at Spiderman and MJ, divorced after how many years in 616??? Still together in other comics like Ultimate S-M and they’re BETTER for it. That’s what it’s all about.

I used to be romy but I don’t ship them anymore, too much, too long, too boring. Give them something new. I’m not even a Rogueneto shipper but they’re sweet and it’s joyful to see Rogue’s new era (with what could have been but kept getting crapped on) I know a lot of Gambit fans feel the same as Rogue fans on wanting something new and exciting like how comics used to be. Personally I jumped off the ship when KT refused to let the characters go and made them an item again & the wedding was all for shock value and meaningless imo. I miss them being fleshed out characters instead of a tunnel vision trope that’s doing them both more harm than good - I love BOTH characters, that’s why I want what’s best for them & Mags is a hottie. Let characters grow and change damn it!!!

Very glad SL is doing so well, it’s a cool comic, love the art and the validation for TS for all he’s had to suffer over it. I’m not hopeful for change but if x-office knew what was good for them they’d switch it up. If they can divorce Spider-Man and MJ… romy isn’t something to sweat. Look at Thinkfast and all the other loved ships that have been shaken up, nobody died from it, it can happen again somewhere some time once the characters grow and change and get their own arcs for a while - what comics are all about! And the new ships that are being explored!! Currently obsessed over Kwannon & Greycrow. New, exciting!! Keeping fans engaged. How it should be.

Love your art, so soft and pretty. Thank you for sharing!

first off: thank you so much!! i'm so glad you like it!!

i'm still a relative newcomer to this fandom, something i've talked about in other asks i've answered, but i've been trying to do my reading and keep up with things/get deeper into the history behind everything. reading the comics in a binge rather than waiting for issues and new runs to come out has definitely given me a lot of fatigue for rogue/gambit; it's pretty clear most writers have no idea where to go with them as a couple and it shows in how their stories are all just about the same thing over and over or else the two of them get sidelined--and then there's...whatever is going on in UXM's current issues.

i agree with you that the x-offices need to figure out that change is good; what's fascinated me so much is that rogue & magneto's breakup in legacy set up such a GOOD arc for their characters (at least very much for rogue specifically) and after a while of them being apart, to bring them together again could have been incredibly satisfying especially if it happened when rogue was leading a team, buuut unfortunately i don't work for marvel or write for the x-folks, and now rogue is married and we're all dealing with whatever this is that gail simone is doing right now. savage land's success so far has been so great--i cannot wait for the rest of that run to release!! i'm hoping that its reception helps things, but i'm really not holding my breath, alas. still, who knows what will happen! them releasing this new savage land run at all was a surprising enough development.

again, thank you so much for the praise and thanks for the ask!! hopefully we'll get some good stories from the x-offices soon for rogue and magneto, and more hopefully some good stories where they're together again 😘

[equixen]

Looking back at ‘Before You Go’

Welcome to part 2 of my Narnia fanvid retrospectives which consist of me talking about a specific fanvid I’ve made and how I’ve interpreted the lyrics. This time, I’ll be talking about my second Caspeter fanvid, ‘Before You Go’, which I uploaded almost one and a half years ago now [original post].

Before I get into it, I just wanted to say that this one is especially for @an-angels-fury because she enjoyed my retrospective post for ‘Run To You’ and said that ‘Before You Go’ is her other favourite of my Caspeter fanvids. 😊

Okay, so this one actually has an interesting origin story and that’s because this fanvid was very close to being my first Caspeter fanvid and also very close to never happening at all.

Let me explain… 😊

When I first became obsessed with Caspeter, it wasn’t long till I decided to try making a fanvid about them. I started by going through my music and eventually narrowed it down to two songs. This one and ‘What Hurts the Most’. I liked both songs very much so it was quite possible that ‘Before You Go’ would have been the first one to be edited although I ultimately decided on ‘What Hurts the Most’.

As for why this fanvid was almost never made at all… well that’s because, at the time, I thought Narnia and Caspeter would go the way of many of my other recent fandoms up till that point. That I would do one fanvid, maybe two if I was lucky, but eventually either my interest in that fandom would wane or something new would come along to take its place as my latest obsession. So, I knew that by picking one song over the other, it was quite possible the second one might never have been made.

Well, we all know how that turned out. 🤣 Several more fanvids (and even fanfics) later, Caspeter and Narnia ended up becoming so important to me for various reasons (I’ve written more about this in another post if that’s of interest) which led to Caspeter becoming my OTP of OTPs. 🥰

Alright, now onto the lyrics. This fanvid is all from Caspian’s POV.

‘I fell by the wayside like everyone else’

I feel like there are a couple of ways this line can be looked at for Caspian. Firstly, it’s Caspian personally feeling like he doesn’t measure up to the High King from Narnia’s golden age. And secondly, that Caspian thinks that Peter sees him as less-than because of his Telmarine heritage. Also, I still really like the visuals I chose for this sequence… of Caspian deferring to the higher status of the Pevensies and hanging back as they enter the How for the first time.

‘I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself’

Yep, Peter drives Caspian absolutely crazy in the beginning. Two young men with their own axes to grind and who are out to prove themselves. Caspian both hates how stubborn Peter is during the strategising at the How, but also can’t help seeing beyond that tough exterior that Peter puts up. Someone who is both more and less than what Caspian grew up hearing about in all those stories. Because Peter might not be all that he imagined in terms of the magnificent battle-hardened warrior (at least not at first glance) but he’s also more human and more beautiful and has more heart than Caspian ever could have imagined.

‘Our every moment, I start to replace, 'cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say’

Despite the connection they share, their time together is over too soon. And once Peter is gone, Caspian can’t help regretting all the things he never told Peter while he had the chance. While I’ve had multiple versions of what Caspian might regret after Peter leaves Narnia in my head for different projects over the last year and a half, when I was editing this fanvid, I was very much imagining this to be that Caspian never told Peter that he loved him.

‘When you hurt under the surface, like troubled water running cold. Well, time can heal but this won't’

I think this was the line that first made me take notice of this song as a potential Caspeter fanvid. The way it reflects their regret over the loss of so many lives after the failed castle raid. It is something that will probably haunt both of them for the rest of their lives. And even though we had no closeup of Caspian’s face when they escape the courtyard, I was rather pleased that I was able to fake one by using a shot of Caspian from the start of the film which I still think works rather well. 😊

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather’

Apart from his siblings—who Peter could never hope to hide anything from—I feel like Peter is the kind of person who’d keep his troubles close to his chest. So, for most of the time that Caspian and Peter would have known each other, there’s so much about Peter that would’ve been a mystery to Caspian. And at the top of that list would be the hardships Peter had faced as a result of being forced back into his old life after living in Narnia for so long. Constantly being underestimated by the adults in his life as well as being bullied and belittled by his peers.

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless’

There are definitely times when Peter feels worthless. But for the first instance of this line, I chose a moment where Peter feels like he’s worth less than others. And what better representation is there than the, “what about your own future?” deleted scene between Caspian and Peter. Caspian learns for the first time just how much Peter is willing to sacrifice for those he loves and for the greater good. Even his own life. That thought alone scares Caspian more than anything so he prompts Peter to think about his own future in the hopes that it will give him something else to fight for.

‘So, before you go, would we be better off by now, if I'd have let my walls come down? Maybe I guess we'll never know, you know, you know’

The moment when it all comes to an end. Caspian has just been crowned King and is looking forward to getting to know Peter away from the hardships of war. Just seeing where these feeling take them. But then Peter drops the bombshell that they’re leaving and Caspian can’t do a thing to stop it. All he has left now is regret. Regret over all those missed opportunities where he could have said how he felt but didn’t as well as wondering what could have been if he had. 😢 And I still rather love that sequence for, “I guess we'll never know, you know, you know,” where it looks like Peter is kicking himself for not being brave enough to say something to Caspian when they’d had a moment upon first entering Cornelius’ office. 😊

‘Before you go, was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather’

When Caspian finds Peter during his and Susan’s talk with Aslan, he can see that something isn’t right with Peter. He wants to help but how can he when he never knew the depths of what Peter, a king to a nation that had been home to him and his siblings for 15 years, had dealt with by being flung back into their own world against his wishes. A loss of self, of purpose and of feeling like he truly belonged.

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless’

And now we come to the second instance of this line where I focus on a moment when Peter feels worthless. Of course, no one is harder on Peter then Peter himself. As the High King, he has the weight of the world on his shoulders and he when he messes up, he feels the shame of it in every fibre of his being. After the failed castle raid, and the subsequent run-in with Jadis, Caspian starts to see a side of Peter that he never had before. The side that makes mistakes and, in his darkest moments, doubts his value. And that only makes him feel for Peter all the more and wish he knew the right things to say that would make Peter feel otherwise.

‘So, before you go’

And lastly the ending. What can I saw about the ending that hasn’t already been said. I mean, between Peter’s, “we’re not really needed here anymore,” and Caspian’s, “I will look after it until you return,” has there ever been a scene where two people who love each other have said so much and yet so little at the same time?? They were so close to having it all and now they’re being torn apart as Peter walks out of Caspian’s life, never to return. 😢

--------

And on that note, I think I’ll leave it there. I’ve had so many feelings about these two over the last year and a half and, with yet more fic/vid ideas percolating in my mind, I don’t think that will be ending anytime soon. 😊

[gale-in-the-dark]

Kinda dying to know more about that 'Sleeping Beauty' art/the AU it's about. That is if you wanna ramble about it or not. I saw the collars and then what happened in that last panel and I locked in so hard 😏🩸

Suuure! I actually don't mind rambling about some of the ideas I got going on in my noggin. You all are welcome to remove my cranium and take a peek at anytime. I'll let you all know when something becomes a little uncomfortable for me.

Anyway, I'm still piecing things together in my brain about that one. Mostly 'cuz there are two routes I could take it and I'm still trying to decide what one I'd prefer.

I'll start with the beginning though. It was an AU that came to me by accident. I just wanted to draw some dark sonic one night, then my spotify started playing a song...and well I tend to have a habit of going with the flow when it comes to music. From what started as dark sonic attempts turned into 'ok, I know there's werehog sonic, but I think a vampire sonic would be kinda neat...'

Why? I dunno. The music told me so.

Anyway, the song in question.

The more I listened to the song while drawing my brain also was like 'So, what if Shadow was a goth rock musician and Sonic's a huge fan of his him and his music...to an obsessive and unhealthy degree. '

It started with those two basic thoughts along with me just wanting to draw an unhinged Sonic. Then I was like 'Hm, Vampire: the Masquerade AU? Maybe???'

And that thought is still a maybe. It's one of the routes I could take if I really wanted to just stick with a vampire theme. I'm not sure if many in this fandom is aware of that Table top RPG though. So I'm not sure how in depth I want to be about my ideas for that route because, I might lose you guys with some of the lore and terminologies of that game. But the basic gist of that one is that Shadow, not knowing Sonic was a vampire, got a little to frisky one night and Sonic bound Shadow to him in some... ttly not cool, but very vampire way. Shadow's still an alien hybrid though and...Sonic's really obsessed with his blood 'cuz of it.

The second route is a little more 'original' and what I might lean more on for that reason along with the fact that I like how tragic it is in comparison, which evolved from 'Sonic's just a vampire' to... more.... I don't know how much I want to spoil about that route though, because it's meant to be a bit of a mystery Shadow's supposed to solve after being forced to sleep for an unknown amount of time, leading him to wake up in some post apocalyptic future and finding out eventually, whatever happened years back related to an incident involving Sonic that he doesn't fully remember. He just knows it involved G.U.N. somehow and whatever they did fucked Sonic up pretty bad.

Sonic remembers, but he's...really dodgy about it. Anyway, some of the basics of shadow eventually becoming a rock musician and sonic being an obsessed fan are the same but the difference here is that they do know each other, unlike the first idea. And it's got more...cosmic horror elements to it....

That Sleeping Beauty pic is meant to be a bit ambiguous on which route it is, but admittedly its more based on the second idea I got in my head. The lighting is meant to convey that Sonic metaphorically and literally can no longer be in the light, so to speak.

That picture is also inspired by a song I was listening to as well:

This god damn thing evolved beyond what it was meant to be in my god damn head!

I'm still thinking through alot of stuff for it; some of it requires research too, which I can now get to since all my hardcore adulting is over by tomorrow.

I don't mind getting more questions on this AU (and others) though, and I'm happy someone took interest in it! Ask me as many questions about it as you'd like, even if I'm slightly hesitant to reveal some things.

Admittedly, out of most of my stuff so far, this AU is probably going to be on my bluesky more because...its a little more...'mature' compared to some of the other stuff I've drawn.

[lurkingshan]

SHIPPER TAG GAME

Tagged by @negrowhat to give away all my fandom secrets. I came up in the US, so most of these will be Western shows. Also be aware that I'm old and been around in fandoms for decades, some of you youths might not even recognize these ships.

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

Felicity and Noel. I was very into them (and very anti-Ben) when I was first watching this show at the tender age of 14, but then I rewatched it as an adult, realized Noel was a classic Nice Guy with some clear warning flags, and settled into Team Ben.

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Hmm maybe Elizabeth Wakefield and Todd Wilkins? I think I started reading Sweet Valley High at, like, age 8. For TV, I was a sitcom kid and I was obsessed with Dwayne Wayne and his flip-up glasses as a child. I loved him and Whitley. Damn now I want to rewatch.

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

The first I read? I am pretty sure the honor goes to Buffy and Spike.

They were the first ship I remember having that classic fanfic brainrot combo of 1) captivating me entirely with their dynamic and 2) canon leaving me unsatisfied. I lost months of my life over at Elysian Fields.

In terms of the first fanfic I wrote, the honor goes to Ian and Mickey.

I was big into Shameless for its first four seasons. But then the show went way off the rails, the fandom went with it, and I quit watching and scrubbed all my fandom activity off the internet.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

I honestly have no idea. Probably something Buffy, I was doing a lot of internet dwelling for that show.

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

Getting into discourse is my whole entire thing LOL. I have survived many, many ship wars and let me tell ya you haven't seen unhinged until you've been knee deep in the tags in a long-term fandom with multiple ships for the protagonist. One of the things I love about BL and nearly all Asian dramas is that we go into every show knowing who the main pairing is, so we don't have to fight about ships.

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

Hmm I was a big Buffy/Angel anti and that was before Spuffy was even a twinkle in my eye. I never liked that man in a romance until he got hooked up with Cordelia in his own show (but then they ruined it ugh). I was also very anti-Harry/Hermione back in the OG HP days (let characters have meaningful platonic relationships!).

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

I've been on a Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian kick of late.

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

OTPs are eternal! Like I said above, since I mostly watch Asian drama now, they're baked in. My fav of my current watches is Ten and Prem.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

YES I AM STILL MAD ABOUT ROBIN AND BARNEY.

You show me two characters who are clearly uniquely compatible, you give me a brief taste of their extremely fun and non-traditional relationship, and then you break them up and stick her with the milquetoast Nice Guy protagonist in a total betrayal of your entire narrative premise? Fuck off forever, HIMYM, I will see you in hell.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

Hmm nothing comes to mind. If I decided to hate a pair in the past I am pretty likely to still be hating.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

I would like to see you try to cancel me!! I'll echo Eboni here and say Brian and Justin, though of course there were people who hated them because of the age gap back in ye olden times, too. Fandom spaces are mostly women and women in queer fandom spaces often struggle to account for the totally different culture and power dynamics between m/m pairings.

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

I don't really do crack ships, I am a canon pairing girlie.

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

I don't know who the ultimate winner is, but I think it's probably a neck and neck competition between Spuffy and Wangxian as my most read pairing.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

There's actually a lot of variety in them in terms of personalities, appearance, and tropes. I think what makes me really click into a ship is the feeling that the two people are uniquely suited to each other and well matched to go through life together.

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

When I don't believe they can actually make it.

Tagging @my-rose-tinted-glasses @twig-tea @imminentinertia @shortpplfedup @stuffnonsenseandotherthings @littleragondin.

[ravenkinnie]

thoughts on jinx largely using pink for her graffitis because the color reminds her of vi??

i like to think its true bcs it makes all those years of stewing resentment/longing/grieving before she sees vi again hits a little more harder. vi seeps into even the most trivial parts be it conscious or subconscious. even in her 'JINX' grafitti tag the first letter 'JI' is drawn in a shape similar with 'VI' the letter J is just tilted kind of, which is a blatant visual representation of how jinx's heart and soul yearns for her sister. its these little things that truly make me realize how obsessed jinx is with vi & idk to me the fandom doesnt talk enough ab it.

I mean I'll be real lads, jinx was using pink way before arcane and before her and vi were even sisters and I think they chose it because pink and blue go well together and now shes stuck with it forever ksjsjsj. I'm also glad s2 is coming out soon because the more people try to find VI in every poster the more I'm starting to feel like that encanto tweet that's like were running out of things to say about this movie jaisusj

don't get me wrong, I'm also prone to delusions, like riot renewed their K/DA trademark and I've been reading signs in the water and the sky for an upcoming EP/album so its not like I also don't live in delululand but my stance is we don't need to read the posters for signs of jinx's feelings towards vi when jinx already told us. like vi is one of the two protagonists we already know she's central to the story and we know that the vi jinx relationship is the centre of the show and the heart of it. and if you don't realise that then I think you will really love arcane because clearly you've never seen it before jajsjksks

but like, they are the centers of each others stories, vis entire arc in s1 is basically just defined by her sister and s2 will probably do little to change that at least in the first half. we know jinx defines herself outside of vi in some ways but she can't really cut her off, she says explicitly vi is a voice she heard over the years, and seven years on a bitch that slightly looks like vi is a trigger. silcos dead ass or not, that's not something you just move past, vi will always be the most important figure. esp since based on trailers we saw so far it seems that jinx in her current position is not living her best life, we've only seen her struggling and looking devastated so far and I assume vi will also not be thriving so I think it will only emphasise how they really are all each other has. and you can say vi has caitlyn now but first of all, caitlyn is insane amd also a bitch and now has personal and political beef with her sister. second of all, caitvi fandom simply is classist so you would think its not a problem but the class divide between them is a huge part of vis character in league and I assume they will keep thay in arcane looking at the direction they are going towards. they both will never have another person like each other, someone who knows where you come from

the reason the fandom doesnt care about it is not because its not true and factual to the show, its just how this fandom works. firstly, nobody cares about platonic relationships already. secondly, parts of the fandom that care about jinx don't necessarily care about vi and parts of the fandom that care about vi don't necessarily care about jinx so hilariously there doesn't seem to be a ton of overlap between the two parts of the fandom where you would have that relationship explored. and it's a very messy relationship that doesn't show either of them in the best light and fanon content is chronically allergic to complicated dynamics so at most you're getting like ship fics with background vi and jinx fluff or like few throwaway angst lines. and most meta on them just tries to argue that the other one is the problem kskskksksj

[airenyah]

diff anon but about joong giving disaster bi vibes i actually think he has adhd? i absolutely dont mean it in any disrespectful way, my family has aspergers and adhd and im pretty sure im also in a spectrum and its one the first things i noticed. the ways his attention goes everywhere, being a bit clumsy, a lot of emotional posts on his main is exactly what adhd people do often and i feel very familiar with it.

but do you know theres rumor est and joong are secretly dating? i saw one of the accounts who believed that and it was like listening to a psychiatric patient sorry

even dunk was getting weird accusation that hes dating one of his close male friends whos gay because they hang out frequently and went to vacation together

yeah i mean that is also a possibility 🤷‍♀️

but tbh, an actor's sexuality, whether he's neurodivergent or not etc etc... those are all things i don't really care to speculate about? especially not in public. bc like... i don't know them. i only know what they want me to know. i only know what they put out in public. and for the most part, those i'm a fan of (whether it's thai ql stars or in other fandoms) don't even know i exist and if they do, they likely don't remember me. and i just feel weird speculating about these kinds of personal things. at the end of the day i'm here for their art and when it comes to thai bl stars specifically i'm here for the entertainement they provide outside their artistic performances. their personal lives are relevant to me only if i by some miracle got to know them personally, but as long as there is no mutal personal relationship i'm not gonna go and pry

and yeah, i'm aware of the joongest rumors. and like, sure, it's a possibility but there is just as much of a chance that they are not. and their fall-out could have been about something else entirely. just bc two people get into a fight doesn't mean any romance needs to be involved. i wish certain fans would get that into their heads

besides, we're not gonna know until the spill the beans themselves and until then, i really don't care. i just wish the best for them

i'm not aromantic but wow am i tired of society's obsession with these two spend a lot of time together that means they must be dating!!!! if "hanging out frequently" and "going on vacation together" is all it takes to be dating then wow, the amount of people i'd be currently be in a relationship with... in fact, i am in a relationship with them. the relationship is called "friendship". i'm so tired

anyway rant over

[benjamin-ovich]

[in a flirty voice] hey wanna be insane and talk about On Fire all day long together

you are playing a dangerous game dani i am sooo unhinged about that fic. it's my magnum opus. my brain child. my baby. it contains some of the finest writing i've ever done and i love the way the story evolved along with my characters over the years. for a long time before i was really active on tumblr/fandom again, writing that fic was my only real connection to the hp world (other than rereading the books themselves); i started the first chapter when i was around 17 ... and i'm 25 now lol.

i'm not the kind of person who outlines stories, i kind of just sit down and write and let my brain take things where they want to go. so when i wrote that first chapter all those years ago, i still hadn't worked out a lot of later plot points, like what sirius did to cause the fallout between him and james, james' relationship with lily, etc. i like to think that this story was as much of a wild ride for me as for the readers because i literally did not know what to expect until i sat down to write it.

also i adore the themes of love and violence the story touches on. i wanted to make readers think about love as a destructive force, love with carnivorous teeth, love that burns everything in its path. love as a kind of devotion that borders on religion. all-consuming, devastating, and uncontrollable. the kind of love written about in wuthering heights, macbeth, anna karenina. love tinged with obsession and lust. love resembling psychological torment.

i just think sirius and james, with their natural codependency, and this intrinsic idea that they're each other's soulmates, make the perfect pairing for a story like that. i wanted to know: what would it take to break down a relationship between two characters who would die for each other? how deep the wound, how sharp the blade? i wanted readers to be both horrified and unable to look away from all of it, to be made to feel uncomfortable but still root for james and sirius to be together at the end.

people always say: write the story you want to read. on fire, but we can't feel a thing is that story for me. it contains elements of all my favourite books growing up, the exact characterisations of james and sirius that i hold most dear, and honestly i'm still surprised that my brain was able to come up with something like it. i don't know that it ever will again, tbh :')

[tokiro07]

What does your "fouryearsandaanime" tag means?

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it before, but you all know I love to hear myself talk, so I'm happy to go over it again!

It's a reference to Community, a sitcom about a community college, wherein one character Abed is a major film and TV buff. In one episode, he was obsessed with a show called The Cape, a short-lived real-world superhero show. When Abed pulls a The Cape-themed prank on main character Jeff, Jeff yells "that show's going to last three weeks!" to which Abed replies "six seasons and a movie!"

Ultimately Jeff's prediction wouldn't be too far off the mark, the show getting 10 episodes out of a planned 13 before its cancelation, but the Community fandom adopted the #sixseasonsandamovie slogan when fears arose that Community would be canceled. If I recall, there were several points where it got close to or even did get canceled, but when NBC canceled it after season 5, Yahoo picked it up for streaming for a sixth season and is ostensibly planning to release the movie this year. Perhaps I should catch up on the last season before that...

Anyway, I've definitely mentioned this before, but I am of the opinion that the optimal run-time for a Shonen Jump manga is four years, with three years often being unsatisfactory and anything beyond five years being diminishing returns (not naming names but I can think of plenty of manga that should have ended waaay earlier). It's not impossible for a shorter series to be good (Death Note ran for only two years) and of course there are plenty of longer-running series that maintain their quality (One Piece being the most obvious instance)

Some of my all-time favorites, Medaka Box and Majin Tantei Nougami Neuro, as well as fan favorites Demon Slayer and Assassination Classroom all had approximately four-year runs and had some of the best endings I've seen in Jump's lineup. Of course there are exceptions, like Promised Neverland's extremely rushed final arc and Nurarihyon's unfortunately timed cancelation (it needed at least one more year to tell the story it wanted to, but it wasn't performing well enough to get the chance outside of a quarterly run in Jump Giga), but like I said, this is just my opinion anyway and an empirical study would likely find fault with my logic

Of course, "andananime" refers to getting an anime, which is effectively the bare minimum requirement for a manga to be considered successful. The manga industry is surprisingly niche, with the more generalized audience only really being aware of it because of anime. More often than not, fans are introduced to manga through their anime adaptations, not the other way around. Attack on Titan and Demon Slayer both performed fine on their own, but their anime adaptations are what allowed them to skyrocket to success. Even the Demon Slayer anime was only performing decently for its first four months until episode 19 came out and set the internet on fire with one particularly well-animated sequence. No one was talking about it before then, and then suddenly it was a household name

Naturally, a bad adaptation won't draw in new readers, which I'm pretty sure is the reason Hinomaru Zumou still hasn't come stateside aside from the chapters that were run when MangaPlus started and got grandfathered in, but that's something only time will tell. For now, the fact that Undead Unluck has an anime announced at all means that the manga is selling well enough to warrant the investment that it takes to advertise it with an anime. I won't go into the economics of it, but the anime industry ain't cheap and requires a lot of different companies to come together to agree that something will be able to produce a return on investment, so making an anime out of a Jump property means that multiple people looked at it and said it was worth throwing money at

In short, #4y+1a is my way of saying I want a manga to succeed and reach a wide enough audience that I won't feel like I'm the only one who loves it. UU is halfway through its fourth year now, and will have an anime by the time it hits the four-year mark, and I've watched its fanbase grow from non-existent to consistently active (albeit small) since its inception, so for all intents and purposes, mission accomplished. CA is still in its infancy and has a much harder hill to climb since it's not a traditional Shonen action manga mixed with Nisio Isin's esoteric writing style, but the transition into this new battle-focused arc looks like it might be able to bolster it just enough to last until it has the chance to snowball into something...not big, but at least decently sized. It just needs to find its tribe, and #4y+1a is my rallying cry to help it do so

Will I use #4y+1a in the future? Maybe, maybe not. It depends on how well anything in the future grabs me. The author of Hinomaru Zumou has a new series starting in the next few weeks, so it's definitely possible! I probably won't start any new reviews, though; the candle's already lit at both ends, I don't have any more wicks to burn. Still, you can't help who you fall in love with, so if something new lights a fire in me, I'll have to find somewhere to put it!

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Seeing you in a wedding dress for the first time

Fandom: Haikyuu

Pairing: Oikawa x fem!reader

Genre: Fluff,Humor

Format: Scenario

Warnings: Tiny bit of NSFW,but nothing too accurate

Word count: 0.9K

A/n: dude i wrote this at 3 am and i was supposed to be sleeping/studying for my upcoming exam in the morning,but im just obsessed with this scenario

not proofread

here you go Oikawa stans! youre welcome ;)

Suna version

it was just a crazy idea.an idea that popped into your mind the minute you laid eyes on the gorgeous wedding dress in the showcase of the shop near your college.

"what would Tooru's reaction be when he sees me in this?" you thought to yourself while caressing the soft,fluffy material on its skirt.

so you rented the dress,just for one night-tonight.it didnt cost you a lot because the owner had seen you gasping and literally drooling while staring at the dress,more than once,which made her feel bad so she gave you a remarkable discount.

And now here you were,wearing red lipstick and eye make up on, your hair chignoned Elegantly which couldnt have been done without the help of your roommate,who was sitting in front of you on her bed, her eyes moving from her watch to your face every ten seconds.

"what time he said he'll get here?" "in a few minutes" you mumbled,while scrolling through your phone,wishing to come across something interesting. "well it has been half an hour since he told you that,and i cant see any sign of him here" "SO IMPATIENT! why do you even care anyway?" you giggled as you present her an innocent smile, already knowing the reason why she was acting like this;but you couldnt miss an opportunity to tease her,could you?

"EXCUSE ME? are you for real? dont tell me that you forgot about how you made me stay at my friend's house the other night you wore a dirty outfit!" "but its not a dirty outfit this time!" "yeah! its a wedding dress! thats even worse!" she whined dramatically,pouting as the memory of that night became lively in her mind.her friend's house was not nice-not at all like her good old dorm room,which she had to share with you,unfortunately.you weren't a bad roommate,you were just...just...

too carefree when it came to being with your boyfriend.

you two continued chatting-which was basically you listening to her nag about things that was bothering her,and you were definitely on top of her list-until you heard a slight knock on the door. "babe? you there?"

you smiled as you heard the familiar voice that belonged to your boyfriend,and got excited cause it was show time!

"your prince charming has finally arrived,idiot" your friend says while opening the door,facing the usual nice while mischevious look on Oikawa's face. "well,arent you a pea-" he was planning on teasing her a bit longer,but was speechless when his eyes met with yours.

"Awwww what happened?did the cat ate your tongue?" you gave him a cocky smile,gliding toward him as you gyrated to give him a better view.

"so,what do you think?" he remained silent,but the sparkle in his eyes did all the talking for him.there wasnt much left for him to say.

however,there were plenty of things he could do.

within a blink of an eye,he literaly threw you on the bed,came on top of you as he crashed his lips into yours,tasting them harshly like a starved man.youre friend could swear that she heard the bed crack at that moment,but there were more important things to care about.

"h-hey! do this shit when youre alone together!" it was clear that you both heard her words,but anyone could tell that none of em really mattered right now.Oikawa was head over heels in love with you already. you were one of the most important things in his life and he really wanted to spend his lifetime with you,but seeing you in that dress...

you looked like an angel.an angel he wanted all for himself so badly.

at first you just continued your little make out session to tease your friend for a bit,but now? you couldnt resist his touch.

not when he was this passionate.

his hands traveling through your body,caressing the delicate skin with his fingertips as he comtinued smooching.you could hear his heartbeat,racing like hell.why was he so impressed anyway? you didnt really see this coming,but he was obsessed with you.he wanted to wake up with the feeling of you clinging to the side of him.he wanted to go to sleep with you in his arms,placing small kisses on your sensitive neck while breathing the sweet scent of your shampoo that was left on your hair.he wanted to be the one who gets to comfort you when youre feeling down.he wanted to be the one who you share kids with.he loved you,so much more than you can even imagine.

you were both running out of breath,but were too stubborn to break the kiss.air was not that important anyway...

your hands gently found their way under his boxers as you felt his hardened lenghth rubbing againts your clothed cunt,peeking at the room with your right eye just to realise your friend was gone long ago,

and you were too all over each other to notice.

Bonus:

◆you did buy the dress in the end,cause your beloved Tooru ripped it apart

◆and you actually started thinking about starting a family with him,and he seemed to be on the same page as you but was looking for a great opportunity

◆he got the opportunity when he found you in your bed looking kinda sick,with a used baby check on the drawer a few days after "the incident" :D

Reblogs are super duper appreciated! ty for reading this and i hope you enjoyed it :)

[3vocatio]

the thing abt one of the most <3 solomon scenes being copied word for word for diavolo is just so. it's not even insane or unbelievable to me it's just extremely irritating like these are genuinely such wonderful characters in a wonderful setting how are the devs messing up on the writing bit THIS bad.

idm the fan service because like... otome game & all that but also that doesn't mean that they can't have a compelling plot and good writing to go with it????? especially in events like clearly they keep trying to include every single character and it just. doesn't work. and there are just SO MANY events too like if you're playing for non-plot purposes it's still so goddamn annoying because let the players breathe 😭

idk i just wish the writing quality in the game would improve at the very least. like it's fine if it's 'cringe' or wtv at least come up with original and decent plots instead of just repeating the same things over and over again yk?

sorry about the rant i've just been really pissed about this lately in the game 😭

oh my GOSH raaz solomon is the last person the obm devs haven't messed up (+ the new side characters, specifically mephistopheles) and i'm so terrified of the obm devs ruining him like they did everyone else...

in this new steampunk event, the locked route is SPECIFICALLY being catered for whales. unlocking the chapters was easy to build up to, but now you need 15 keys off the bat to continue, and i feel like it's heavily reflective of how indifferent the devs are towards actually doing their own characters justice. everything is meant to serve their whales, bring in more revenue, and sit comfortably even when they know they're angering their own fanbase by rubbing salt in the wound (i.e. making satan self-aware of his cat obsession, solomon outwardly expressing discomfort for the erasure of his humanity from other characters).

the devs are growing to completely disregard their own story, slapping together some fanservice in the main story when most of their fanbase can't even reach that point. why not serve your veterans & those who financially support you with consistent & cathartic story arcs? why not balance everyone, everything?

so i share your frustrations: obey me has been spiraling down in quality for a long time. i think that the last time i've been satisfied with the story was during season 2, when the fandom wasn't as big, and people were invested in figuring out what'll happen next because everything was cleverly panning out to a huge event: the dagger scene with lucifer. people didn't know what to make of simeon's play, and i remember when people theorized that the play would parallel a huge event near the end of the season... and we were right! and so many people were genuinely happy with the story being able to keep their interest and keep them on their toes.

now, there is a severe lack of anything reminiscent of holding anyone's interest, even the veterans, even me. i would woefully log onto tumblr as season 4's lessons rolled around every week, and would share everyone else's disappointment when we gradually accepted the fact that the story was easy to predict given how lazy the devs had become. i want them to take their time so badly, to give us quality over quantity, but with solmare now becoming so big with their new cash cow, obey me, compared to their previous cliche otome games, i think they've allowed the success to get to them.

thoughts of “it's an awful game, i hope no one plays it” and “it's a nice game to play, i can't wait to share my thoughts” are two things that can coexist, albeit shaped into something more along the lines of “it's a horrendous game that i can bond over with friends” once you find yourself being sucked deeper into it.

i don't think i'll stop playing anytime soon, because as i told someone in the past, “[it has] flavor in all of its terrible, atrocious glory”. i'm able to use concepts & ideas that the story gives me and, in my eyes, i get to make it better. i get to share my thoughts with like-minded people like you, and everyone jumps on the inspiration bandwagon. people bond over the same failures that makes us frustrated, and that's one of the few reasons i have any semblance of gratitude for obey me.

[youngbloodslut]

celebrity crush | 2/??

a/n: the first interview is mostly based off of dove cameron and ava max’s interviews with popbuzz

summary: actress! reader somehow manages to bring up her crush on calum hood in every interview

pairing(s): calum hood x reader, platonic! reader x tom holland

warning(s): swearing? slight mentions of kinks

“She’s at it again mate,” Ashton smirked as he carried his laptop over to Calum who was sat on the sofa. He flipped open the computer and hit play on y/n y/l/n’s newest interview.

“C’mon, I don’t wanna-” Calum rubbed his hand over is face and shook his head.

Ashton ignored him and turned up the volume to drown out his protest. “Shhh.. watch.”

“Hey guys, I’m y/n y/l/n and this is the Pop Buzz Tower of Truth.” You spoke as the title popped up on screen.

“I think I’m gonna end up tipping it before I can even get one block out,” You said as you tried to carefully pull of a wooden block. 

“That will never work,” Calum heard a voice from off camera say and recognized it as Tom Holland. He tried not to frown as you laughed and mocked him.

“Y’know what, we’re leaving that one.” You laughed, leaving the original block alone and easily pulling out another block.

“There we go. Okay, what was the last movie or tv show that make you cry? Dead Poets Society. I love Dead Poets Society so much and Tom had never seen it so we watched it after finishing yesterdays interviews.” You placed the block on top of the tower. “And he cried.”

The camera crew laughed as Tom shouted a, “Hey!”

“Tell us one thing about you that we don’t know. Um, this is hard because I’m always saying stuff that I shouldn’t be. Um, I’m an Oxford comma worshiper.” You said, unsure whether or not that’s interesting enough.

“Oxford comma?” A crew member behind the camera questioned.

“Yeah, y’know, the comma that comes before ‘and’ when making a list. I hate that people don’t use it because then I get all confused. Like if I were to write ‘Lizzie, Tom, and Robert are going to the party’ and I don’t add a comma before ‘and’ then it seems like Tom and Robert would be arriving at the party together. But some people who don’t use the Oxford comma could mean that all three people were showing up separately so I never know. Y’know what I mean?”

The camera crew were all silent after her rant and Calum chuckled a bit to himself. He thought it was cute that you were so passionate about the smallest things. Ashton looked over to him as Calum admired you through the screen. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew Calum secretly liked how much you talked about him.

“No,” Tom responded honestly

“Ugh,” You rolled your eyes dramatically and looked into the camera, “See, these are the type of guys you got to look out for: Un-grammarly men.” You joked.

“Un-grammarly isn’t a thing.” Tom laughed.

“Well if it were a thing, you’d be one.” You fired back at Tom.

“Anyway, who is your favorite artist right now? Um, probably Wallows, I love them and their music.”

“I was really expecting Calum Hood to be honest.” Tom shouted from across the room.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I just forgot about him like that. I love you Calum Hood. I love 5sos.” You held up your hands into a heart shape and moved your hands from side to side. 

You then dropped them and grabbed another block. “Sorry, I keep forgetting that people are actually going to see these interviews. Like, he could literally see this. Dude, I hope he doesn’t.” You paused, “Oh god, do you think he knows about my crush on him?” You had been mentioning him for years and it had never once occurred to you that he could actually see these. 

Calum laughed at the irony of the situation. Here he was watching a video of you saying you hoped he’d never see said video.

“This is humiliating.” You mumbled though you didn’t seem to actually care, “Who was your first celebrity crush? Oh uh, definitely Andrew Garfield. I remember when I first watched the Social Network and I was like obsessed. My friend and I both watched it over 10 times within like two months. And then would continuously make Mark Zuckerberg jokes. But of course, Calum Hood now owns my heart.” You put the block on top of the tower. “I’m actually doing really good, I thought I’d knock it down by now.”

“Describe in detail the worst date you’ve ever been on. Okay so I was like fifteen right, and, well I’m not even sure if this counts as a date. I think he considered it a date so I guess it was but basically we were in the car, he was sixteen so he could drive. We were in the drive through, we had already ordered, and he started feeling around in is pockets and I was like oh god, cause I knew what was about to happen. He was like, ‘oh no i think i lost my wallet’, and I was like its fine I’ll pay. I really didn’t mind. I ended up paying, we got our drinks and without missing a beat, we hadn’t even pulled out of the drive through, he was like’oh here’s my wallet.’ I really didn’t mind paying for my coffee, I wouldn’t mind paying for both of our coffees. But him going out of his way to lie, and then not even lie well, was so irritating.” She placed the block on the top and picked up a new one.

“What is the most useless idem you’ve ever purchased? Um, I bought a seven foot giraffe while I saw drunk once.” The block was added to the top, the tower now taller than you. “He’s in my living room if you wanted to know.”

You grabbed the next block carelessly, immediately regretting it when the tower fell behind you, “Oh shit, well I guess we’re done then.” You said nonchalantly, looking at the blocks on the floor. “I don’t think I’ll be playing this again anytime soon. Love you guys,” You held up your hands, “Love you Calum Hood.” You winked before the outro began to play.

“She must really love you, Cal.” Ashton poked Calum’s cheek annoyingly, “She’s got no shame.”

Calum wouldn’t admit it, but as soon as he got home he looked you up again. He clicked on the same video Ashton showed him and scrolled through the comments. 

y/nscalumhoodkink: MOMOMOMOMOMOM

datemey/n: Queen of Jenga

ashtonfletchersbitch: Y/N LITERALLY IS ME

5esohes: no because y/n y/l/n and calum hood together is my kink

noemptywalletshere: not only does y/n own this fandom, but my ass too

He couldn’t help but laugh at the comments no matter how interesting they were. But something in the back of his head kept yelling at him. She doesn’t acting like you. Shes just likes your music, nothing more. He sighed and clicked out of the video and was about the close his laptop when his cursor handed on a video. 

Y/n Y/l/n foaming at the mouth while talking about Calum Hood for 5 minutes straight.

He clicked on it a little too quickly and waited for it too load. 

“Calum Hood choke me challenge.” You stuck out your tongue and threw up a peace sign with an innocent look plastered on here face. 

“Bro imagine if Calum Hood saw this?” “Oh he would definitely fall for you after this video”

The third thing to pop up was a tweet from 2015 just saying: #marrymecalumhood

“Calum Hood send me hand pics. This is a demand, not a request.”

Calum continued to watch the entire video. Normally, the thirsty comments would have made him uncomfortable, but them coming from you made his heart race and cheeks flush.

God, what was happening to him?