equixen

[equixen]

Just another Before You Go / Our Hands Are Tied inspired edit 😃

[equixen]

My first ever meme! 😃

Inspired by a discussion with @eds-gryff where we both agreed that there are scenes where Caspian looks at Peter the same as he does Susan and I instantly had a light-bulb moment about this meme.

[equixen]

Part 2 of my accidental series of Caspeter manips created by combining images of Ben Barnes in Dorian Gray and William Moseley in The Royals 😁

[equixen]

Looking back at ‘Before You Go’

Welcome to part 2 of my Narnia fanvid retrospectives which consist of me talking about a specific fanvid I’ve made and how I’ve interpreted the lyrics. This time, I’ll be talking about my second Caspeter fanvid, ‘Before You Go’, which I uploaded almost one and a half years ago now [original post].

Before I get into it, I just wanted to say that this one is especially for @an-angels-fury because she enjoyed my retrospective post for ‘Run To You’ and said that ‘Before You Go’ is her other favourite of my Caspeter fanvids. 😊

Okay, so this one actually has an interesting origin story and that’s because this fanvid was very close to being my first Caspeter fanvid and also very close to never happening at all.

Let me explain… 😊

When I first became obsessed with Caspeter, it wasn’t long till I decided to try making a fanvid about them. I started by going through my music and eventually narrowed it down to two songs. This one and ‘What Hurts the Most’. I liked both songs very much so it was quite possible that ‘Before You Go’ would have been the first one to be edited although I ultimately decided on ‘What Hurts the Most’.

As for why this fanvid was almost never made at all… well that’s because, at the time, I thought Narnia and Caspeter would go the way of many of my other recent fandoms up till that point. That I would do one fanvid, maybe two if I was lucky, but eventually either my interest in that fandom would wane or something new would come along to take its place as my latest obsession. So, I knew that by picking one song over the other, it was quite possible the second one might never have been made.

Well, we all know how that turned out. 🤣 Several more fanvids (and even fanfics) later, Caspeter and Narnia ended up becoming so important to me for various reasons (I’ve written more about this in another post if that’s of interest) which led to Caspeter becoming my OTP of OTPs. 🥰

Alright, now onto the lyrics. This fanvid is all from Caspian’s POV.

‘I fell by the wayside like everyone else’

I feel like there are a couple of ways this line can be looked at for Caspian. Firstly, it’s Caspian personally feeling like he doesn’t measure up to the High King from Narnia’s golden age. And secondly, that Caspian thinks that Peter sees him as less-than because of his Telmarine heritage. Also, I still really like the visuals I chose for this sequence… of Caspian deferring to the higher status of the Pevensies and hanging back as they enter the How for the first time.

‘I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself’

Yep, Peter drives Caspian absolutely crazy in the beginning. Two young men with their own axes to grind and who are out to prove themselves. Caspian both hates how stubborn Peter is during the strategising at the How, but also can’t help seeing beyond that tough exterior that Peter puts up. Someone who is both more and less than what Caspian grew up hearing about in all those stories. Because Peter might not be all that he imagined in terms of the magnificent battle-hardened warrior (at least not at first glance) but he’s also more human and more beautiful and has more heart than Caspian ever could have imagined.

‘Our every moment, I start to replace, 'cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say’

Despite the connection they share, their time together is over too soon. And once Peter is gone, Caspian can’t help regretting all the things he never told Peter while he had the chance. While I’ve had multiple versions of what Caspian might regret after Peter leaves Narnia in my head for different projects over the last year and a half, when I was editing this fanvid, I was very much imagining this to be that Caspian never told Peter that he loved him.

‘When you hurt under the surface, like troubled water running cold. Well, time can heal but this won't’

I think this was the line that first made me take notice of this song as a potential Caspeter fanvid. The way it reflects their regret over the loss of so many lives after the failed castle raid. It is something that will probably haunt both of them for the rest of their lives. And even though we had no closeup of Caspian’s face when they escape the courtyard, I was rather pleased that I was able to fake one by using a shot of Caspian from the start of the film which I still think works rather well. 😊

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather’

Apart from his siblings—who Peter could never hope to hide anything from—I feel like Peter is the kind of person who’d keep his troubles close to his chest. So, for most of the time that Caspian and Peter would have known each other, there’s so much about Peter that would’ve been a mystery to Caspian. And at the top of that list would be the hardships Peter had faced as a result of being forced back into his old life after living in Narnia for so long. Constantly being underestimated by the adults in his life as well as being bullied and belittled by his peers.

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless’

There are definitely times when Peter feels worthless. But for the first instance of this line, I chose a moment where Peter feels like he’s worth less than others. And what better representation is there than the, “what about your own future?” deleted scene between Caspian and Peter. Caspian learns for the first time just how much Peter is willing to sacrifice for those he loves and for the greater good. Even his own life. That thought alone scares Caspian more than anything so he prompts Peter to think about his own future in the hopes that it will give him something else to fight for.

‘So, before you go, would we be better off by now, if I'd have let my walls come down? Maybe I guess we'll never know, you know, you know’

The moment when it all comes to an end. Caspian has just been crowned King and is looking forward to getting to know Peter away from the hardships of war. Just seeing where these feeling take them. But then Peter drops the bombshell that they’re leaving and Caspian can’t do a thing to stop it. All he has left now is regret. Regret over all those missed opportunities where he could have said how he felt but didn’t as well as wondering what could have been if he had. 😢 And I still rather love that sequence for, “I guess we'll never know, you know, you know,” where it looks like Peter is kicking himself for not being brave enough to say something to Caspian when they’d had a moment upon first entering Cornelius’ office. 😊

‘Before you go, was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather’

When Caspian finds Peter during his and Susan’s talk with Aslan, he can see that something isn’t right with Peter. He wants to help but how can he when he never knew the depths of what Peter, a king to a nation that had been home to him and his siblings for 15 years, had dealt with by being flung back into their own world against his wishes. A loss of self, of purpose and of feeling like he truly belonged.

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless’

And now we come to the second instance of this line where I focus on a moment when Peter feels worthless. Of course, no one is harder on Peter then Peter himself. As the High King, he has the weight of the world on his shoulders and he when he messes up, he feels the shame of it in every fibre of his being. After the failed castle raid, and the subsequent run-in with Jadis, Caspian starts to see a side of Peter that he never had before. The side that makes mistakes and, in his darkest moments, doubts his value. And that only makes him feel for Peter all the more and wish he knew the right things to say that would make Peter feel otherwise.

‘So, before you go’

And lastly the ending. What can I saw about the ending that hasn’t already been said. I mean, between Peter’s, “we’re not really needed here anymore,” and Caspian’s, “I will look after it until you return,” has there ever been a scene where two people who love each other have said so much and yet so little at the same time?? They were so close to having it all and now they’re being torn apart as Peter walks out of Caspian’s life, never to return. 😢

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And on that note, I think I’ll leave it there. I’ve had so many feelings about these two over the last year and a half and, with yet more fic/vid ideas percolating in my mind, I don’t think that will be ending anytime soon. 😊

[equixen]

Rating: E Fandom: The Chronicles of Narnia Pairing: Caspian/Peter Summary: On the verge of discovering Aslan’s Country, Peter learns his time with Caspian is about to come to an end. Despite that, he still has one purpose left to fulfil.

Spoiler warning: This is an alternate ending for 'Our Hands Are Tied’ and branches off from the main story during chapter 16. While I do believe this can be read and enjoyed on its own without having read the main story, it does contain some spoilers for certain story elements leading up to chapter 16 and a small amount of required knowledge will be discussed in the author's note once you click beyond this point 🙂

Yes, I'm late posting this on Tumblr but @an-angels-fury's beautiful playlist for this fic has inspired me to finally share it here officially. 😊 This fic is complete with 7 chapters.

And please do mind the rating and the tags!!

[equixen]

I can't believe it!!! To have this wonderful playlist dedicated to my fic is a real gift!! And the beautiful mood board too!!! 🫶 Thank you so much @an-angels-fury!!! 💖 I love all of this so much!

💔 And I'd Do Anything To Make You Stay 💔 - A(nother) Caspeter Playlist

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Have I really made another playlist based on a wonderful Caspeter fanfic written by the one and only @equixen? HELL YES 😄!!!!!

No, seriously, my heart is exploding with love for this beautiful story and I don't know what to do with it 🥹💗! I just hope this playlist expresses at least a fraction of all the emotions I felt throughout my reading of "What Stays and What Fades Away" 😍 (Warning: This fic serves as an alternate ending to the story "Our Hands Are Tied", which you all should definitely check it out too 😉👍!!!).

P.S.: The 6th song in this playlist was already used in the first one, but I felt the need to include it here as well because the lyrics fit the narrative so perfectly to the point of making me cry all over again 😭.

So yeah, get ready for the tears 😥...

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Don't Wanna Miss A Thing - Aerosmith

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing / Watch you smile while you are sleeping / While you're far away and dreaming / I could spend my life in this sweet surrender / I could stay lost in this moment forever / Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure / Don't wanna close my eyes / I don't wanna fall asleep / 'Cause I'd miss you baby / And I don't wanna miss a thing / 'Cause even when I dream of you / The sweetest dream would never do / I'd still miss you baby / And I don't wanna miss a thing / Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating / And I'm wondering what you're dreaming / Wondering if it's me you're seeing / Then I kiss your eyes / And thank God we're together / And I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever / Forever and ever

No Light, No Light - Florence + The Machine

You are the hole in my head / You are the space in my bed / You are the silence in between / What I thought and what I said / You are the night-time fear / You are the morning when it's clear / When it's over you're the start / You're my head, you're my heart / No light, no light in your bright blue eyes / I never knew daylight could be so violent / A revelation in the light of day / You can't choose what stays and what fades away / And I'd do anything to make you stay / No light, no light (no light) / Tell me what you want me to say

What About Angels - Birdy

We know full well there's just time / So is it wrong to dance this line? / If your heart was full of love / Could you give it up? / 'Cause what about, what about angels / They will come, they will go and make us special / Don't give me up / Don't give me up / How unfair, it's just our luck / Found something real that's out of touch / But if you'd searched the whole wide world / Would you dare to let it go? / 'Cause what about, what about angels / They will come, they will go, make us special / Don't give me up / Don't give me up

Talk Me Down - Troye Sivan

I wanna sleep next to you / But that's all I wanna do right now / And I wanna come home to you / But home is just a room full of my safest sounds / 'Cause you know that I can't trust myself with my 3 A.M. shadow / I'd rather fuel a fantasy than deal with this alone / I wanna sleep next to you / But that's all I wanna do right now / So come over now and talk me down / I wanna hold hands with you / But that's all I wanna do right now / And I wanna get close to you / 'Cause your hands and lips still know their way around / And I know I like to draw that line, when it starts to get too real / But the less time that I spend with you, the less you need to heal / I wanna sleep next to you / But that's all I wanna do right now / So come over now and talk me down

Love Me Like There's No Tomorrow - Freddie Mercury

You had to kill the conversation / You always had the upper hand / Got caught in love and stepped in sinking sand / You had to go and ruin all our plans / Packed your bags and you're leaving home / Got a one-way ticket and you're all set to go / But we have one more day together, so / Love me like there's no tomorrow / Hold me in your arms, tell me you mean it / This is our last goodbye and very soon it will be over / But today just love me like there's no tomorrow / I guess we drift alone in separate ways / I don't have all that far to go / God knows I learnt to play the lonely man / I've never felt so low in all my life / We were born to be just losers / So I guess there's a limit on how far we go / But we only have one more day together so / Love me like there's no tomorrow

Who Wants To Live Forever - Queen

There's no chance for us / It's all decided for us / This world has only one sweet moment / Set aside for us / Who wants to live forever? / Who wants to live forever? / Who dares to love forever? / When love must die? / But touch my tears with your lips / Touch my world with your fingertips / And we can have forever / And we can love forever / Forever is our today / Who wants to live forever? / Who wants to live forever? / Forever is our today / Who waits forever anyway?

If I Never Knew You - Jon Secada and Shanice

If I never knew you / If I never felt this love / I would have no inkling of / How precious life can be / And if I never held you / I would never have a clue / How at last I'd find in you / The missing part of me / In this world so full of fear / Full of rage and lies / I can see the truth so clear / In your eyes, so dry your eyes / And I'm so grateful to you / I'd have lived my whole life through / Lost forever / If I never knew you / If I never knew you / I'd be safe but half as real / Never knowing I could feel / A love so strong and true / I'm so grateful to you / I'd have lived my whole life through / Lost forever / If I never knew you / I thought our love would be so beautiful / Somehow we made the whole world bright / I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong / All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night / But still my heart is singing / We were right

Come What May - Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place / Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace / Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste / It all revolves around you / And there's no moutain too high / No river too wide / Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side / Storm clouds may gather / And stars may collide / But I love you / I love you / Until the end of time / Come what may / Come what may / I will love you / Until my dying day

You Said You'd Grow Old With Me - Michael Schulte

I'd like to say, "I'm okay", but I'm not / I try, but I fall / Close my mind, turn it off / But I can't be sober, I cannot sleep / You've got your peace now, but what about me? / Thought we had the time, had our lives / Now you'll never get older, older / Didn't say goodbye, now I'm frozen in time / Getting colder, colder / One last word / One last moment / To ask you why / You left me here behind / You said you'd grow old with me / We had plans, we had visions, now I can't see ahead / We were one, we were golden, forever, you said / But I can't be sober, I cannot sleep / You've got your peace now, but what about me?

Farewell, My Love - Lunatica

I've been thinking about the good times / And I've cried a lake of tears / If losing you is just a nightmare / I hope I'll wake up by your side / Farewell, my love / Forgive the things I've done to you / May your days be warm and bright / May your journey lead you to the light / So many words been left unspoken / And some words were far too much / Maybe sometimes love is hurting / But it's the sweetest pain I know / Farewell, my love / Forgive the things I've done to you / May your days be warm and bright / May your journey lead you to the light

Evermore - Dan Stevens

I rage against the trials of love / I curse the fading of the light / Though s(he)'s already flown so far beyond my reach / S(He)'s never out of sight / Now I know s(he)'ll never leave me / Even as s(he) fades from view / S(He) will still inspire me / Be a part of everything I do / Wasting in my lonely tower / Waiting by an open door / I'll fool myself s(he)'ll walk right in / And as the long, long nights begin / I'll think of all that might have been / Waiting here for evermore

I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston

If I should stay / I would only be in your way / So I'll go, but I know / I'll think of you every step of the way / And I will always love you / I will always love you / You / My darling, you / Bittersweet memories / That is all I'm taking with me / So goodbye, please don't cry / We both know I'm not what you, you need / And I will always love you / I will always love you / I hope life treats you kind / And I hope you have all you've dreamed of / And I wish you joy and happiness / But above all this, I wish you love / And I will always love you

11:11 - Ben Barnes

Is it late? / 11 minutes past 11 / It's both always but never our time / Nothing to regret / The rest just might be heaven / You're always but never really mine / You stopped my heart from fifty feet / It pumped and sang and skipped a beat / And when I sleep my soul you keep / I wish for you to be happy / I wish for you to be free / I wish for you to be fearless / That's wishes one, two and three / And I won't wish to be yours or for you to be mine / But I'll wish them all for you every time

[equixen]

Check out this gorgeous Caspeter fanart that I commissioned the amazingly talented @wannastayugly (aka theviscountjask on Twitter) to create for me.

It is based on one of my favorite scenes that I wrote in my fanfic 'Our Hands Are Tied' (specifically chapter 11) and I just LOVE how this turned out. 🥰

[equixen]

Happy Anniversary to 'Run To You'!

This video became 1 year old a few weeks ago (original post) and also just passed the milestone of 3 thousand views this week. So, because this one happens to be my favourite of all my Caspeter videos, I thought I’d celebrate by talking a little about it. Specifically, about why it’s my favourite and also do a little deep dive into the lyrics and how they’re represented in the video. 😃

So yeah, this one is my favourite of all my Caspeter videos because it’s a culmination of a series of events that started with me creating this video edit of an Aslan’s Country reunion for Caspian and Peter which then inspired me to venture into writing and posting fanfic for the first time (Live With Me Forever Now) in order to continue the story. Then there was a certain moment of that fic that I’d constantly be picturing in my mind whenever this song was playing (specifically the moment of them running towards each other when the ‘run to you’ lines of the song were playing) which then resulted in this video.

After my first attempt at writing a fanfic for a school assignment 20 years ago not going anywhere, I’d never in a million years expected to write another fanfic. OR that I would write as much as I have done for this fandom. So, the fact that this video in particular is a product of that writing journey, makes this one rather special to me because of it being a full circle moment. 😊

Also, I just adore this song for Caspian and Peter. This song had already made its way onto my regular Narnia playlist because of this lovely video about Lucy and Aslan. But as soon as I started associating the song with Caspian and Peter instead, it quickly started to feel like this song (and therefore the video) perfectly encapsulated the version of Peter and Caspian that live in my head and, at the same time as this video was coming together, it’s those headcanons that were forming the basis of my other fic, Our Hands Are Tied. 😊

So, in short, it seems most of my early Caspeter creations were interconnected and drawing inspiration from each other and I LOVE that!

Also, interesting fact… this is the only one of my Caspeter videos where I’ve tried to show both of their points of view. All my other Caspeter videos have stuck to one character’s point of view per video.

Now, let’s get into the lyrics 😊

‘I would run to you, If you want me to, Just give me some kind of reason’

Caspian POV: I love these opening lines! For me, they’re perfect for Caspian’s feelings about Peter. Caspian knows how he feels and wants to make the most of the time they have. Peter on the other hand is reluctant to proceed with a relationship because of his sense of duty. Towards Narnia and his family. Not to mention Peter KNOWS his time in Narnia is going to be limited. Just like it was the last time. So of course, he’s going to put up walls around his heart to protect himself. All Caspian can do is wait and hope that Peter will change his mind.

‘I'll take the pain, take it all away, Give it some kind of meaning’

Peter POV: And yet Peter has the biggest of hearts. He knows how much pain Caspian has suffered at the hands of his uncle so, despite him holding himself back when it comes to telling Caspian how he really feels, he’d still do anything to take Caspian’s pain away.

‘Let's let go, let it be the start, You know I'm feeling the same thing’

Caspian POV: Peter wears his emotions on his sleeves, particularly where Caspian is concerned, so of course Caspian knows how much Peter loves him. He sees it every time Peter looks at him. But Caspian is patient so he’ll wait as long as he has to for the moment when Peter does finally give in to what they’re both feeling. And that shot of them facing each other after the confrontation with Jadis feels like the best representation of this sentiment. How anyone can look at these two and not see the potential for this ship is beyond me.

‘Let's let go of our broken hearts’

Both POV: The ‘enemies’ phase will always be a defining part of their story. And during that fight outside of Aslan’s How, they both knew exactly the right buttons to push to get under each other’s skin. But they came through it stronger together then they were before and also grew to truly understand each other as a result. Before they could reach that understanding though, they each had to let go of the hurt they felt in that moment.

‘Cause you'll be safe in these arms of mine, Just call my name on the edge of the night, And I'll run to you, I'll run to you’

Both POV: Of course I had to use the moment where Peter pulls Caspian out of the pit as well as the moment where Peter puts himself between Caspian and Jadis. 😊 Both are defining Caspeter moments. As for the moment when Peter hands Caspian the sword, though we don’t hear it, I like to imagine that Peter says Caspian’s name in order to invite him onto the duelling ground. And in it, Caspian will hear all the things Peter hasn’t been able to put into words. Also, I feel like essays could be written about the look on Peter’s face when Caspian first arrives at the duelling ground (and the way he walks forward a step but holds himself back at the last second) and the look on Caspian’s face when they’re facing down the Telmarine army from the top of Aslan’s How. They love each other sooo much. 🥰

‘Even if it's gonna break me, love, Gonna make my way to you, Anyway it's gonna take me, love’

Peter POV: Finally, the moment that Peter has feared right from the very first moment he realised his feelings for Caspian were real. He really doesn’t want to leave Caspian behind but he has no other choice. Despite how much he feels like he’s falling apart, it’s time for him to say goodbye so he takes that first step forward and hands over his sword.

‘I run to you, I run to you, Run, run’

Both POV: Yep, it’s this part of the song that kept making me picture all the moments where they run to each other, both in the movie and in my fic. So, if it wasn’t for this section resonating with me, this video would never have existed. And not only does it perfectly represent their need to be closer as soon as they are near one another but also the fact they’ll run into danger to save the other as well run into battle by each other’s side. They are each other’s ride-or-die.

‘Cause you'll be safe in these arms of mine, Just call my name on the edge of the night, And I'll run to you, I'll run to you’

Both POV: This is, BY FAR, my favourite part of this video. The mid-duel scene including the shot of Caspian helping Peter to stand was made for this line of the song. If only we had a front facing shot of that moment! And then being able to combine the moment of Caspian using the horn with Peter’s return to Narnia for ‘call my name’… yep, I could not love this sequence more.

‘Even if it's gonna break me, love, I run to you’

Caspian POV: And then because of this video being inspired by the Aslan’s Country reunion video edit and the subsequent fic, I simply HAD to include that reunion sequence somewhere in this video. Putting it here specifically meant I got to mirror, ‘Even if it's gonna break me, love, Gonna make my way to you’ that represented Peter’s departure, by showing their reunion with this line. I LOVE mirroring things and highlighting parallels in my videos when I’m able to and I rather like how this turned out. 😁 And of course, it’s at this point in my fic that Caspian does in fact run to Peter. 🥰

Bonus:

‘Let's set fire to the lonely night, You're beautiful when you look at me, Let's give love another life’

Caspian POV: Though this line from the song wasn’t included in the video, I do rather love it as another line showing Caspian’s thoughts about Peter before they get together. He wants so badly to take a chance on what he’s feeling while Peter is still reluctant.

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So yeah... Happy 1 year anniversary to this video! 😃

At this stage, I don’t have any plans to do other video analysis posts like this for my other Narnia videos. Basically, I just wanted to give this one some attention because I love it so much 😁 But I may reconsider if there’s interest in me doing more? Let me know! I could potentially make a series out of it when I’ve got the time. 😊 Although first, I need to finish my latest Caspeter fanfic. 😉

Also, I’m open to questions about this video—or any of my others—if there are any (either here or via Ask/PM) so feel free to reach out!

[equixen]

Fandom: The Chronicles of Narnia Character/theme: Susan Pevensie after The Last Battle Song: ‘Keep Us Connected’ by Celia Rose Gooding

I've included some thoughts and a general plot summary below the cut...

I was absolutely devastated when I first learned of Susan losing her whole family to a train crash in The Last Battle. And that Peter, Edmund and Lucy were still so young at the time. That was far too tragic an ending for all of them and I don’t think I’ll ever be over it :(

Right from the very first moment that I heard this song in the musical episode of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, it immediately made me think of Susan in this stage of her life and I knew I had to make a video with it. Then I proceeded to take a whole year to actually finish it lol

The general story here is that Susan initially has a tough time dealing with the loss of her family. Over time, this eventually turns to acceptance and with it, she also finds her way back to her memories of Narnia and all that she shared there with her family. She goes on to live a long fulfilling life and when she eventually dies, she is reunited with her family in Aslan’s Country. So, the beach scene at the end of the video is meant to be representative of that reunion in Aslan’s Country :)

Additional footage used from: - The Little Mermaid (2018) - The Last Birthday (2017) - Smallville S03E12 - Hereafter

[equixen]

I LOVE that you discovered that moment because of my video :D  And that you probably weren’t the only one.  

There’s a cool feature in YouTube’s creator studio that graphs the number of views for every second of a video’s runtime so, if there’s a moment that gets replayed multiple times, then that generates a spike in views for that moment.

While the spike is less obvious now, there was actually a time when there was quite a big spike of views for that scene in my video. So people must have replayed it a lot to see if it was actually Caspian's arm or something :D

Not enough people are talking about this Caspeter scene so I’m just going to fix that right now…

When I realised this brief two second moment is actually Caspian’s arm around Peter, helping him to stand… well it just made me very happy, okay :’)

Why could you not give us a better shot of this scene Andrew Adamson??

This is immediately followed by Caspian giving Peter a friendly bolstering pat on the back but, in my my mind, this scene ends differently. Instead, Caspian’s arm lingers around Peter for a moment once he’s standing, wanting to make the most of this brief moment of closeness before the duel resumes.

[equixen]

Not enough people are talking about this Caspeter scene so I’m just going to fix that right now…

When I realised this brief two second moment is actually Caspian’s arm around Peter, helping him to stand… well it just made me very happy, okay :’)

Why could you not give us a better shot of this scene Andrew Adamson??

This is immediately followed by Caspian giving Peter a friendly bolstering pat on the back but, in my my mind, this scene ends differently. Instead, Caspian’s arm lingers around Peter for a moment once he’s standing, wanting to make the most of this brief moment of closeness before the duel resumes.

[equixen]

Here is a little edit/manip I created of Caspian helping Peter with his armour prior to the duel :)

This is inspired by my one-shot 'Before You Go' and the equivalent scene in my longer fic 'Our Hands Are Tied' :D

[equixen]

I always love to have a calendar on my wall that reflects my latest fandom so, when January 2024 came round, the urge to have a Narnia calendar was rather strong. But despite their being no official Narnia calendars this year, I didn’t let that stop me :)

So, these are some pictures of the 2024 Narnia calendar I created for myself through a custom calendar printing service. And while I didn’t end up having the option to print a back cover for this calendar, I still loved how the last image turned out and thought it would at least be a great way of showing off the full image set without posting photos of every page individually :)

[equixen]

I got the idea in my head a couple of weeks ago to make a manip of Caspian and Peter kissing. I'd still like to try making something that is definitively set in the Narnia universe someday but for now, I give you Caspian and Peter kissing in an 1890's AU :)

[equixen]

The Chronicles of Narnia: 30 Day Challenge (1 Day Speed Round)

While I didn’t think I’d be able to keep up with the daily posting while the challenge was actually taking place or that my answers would be long enough to warrant individual posts, some of these questions did get me thinking and made me want to have a go. So, I’m just going to cheat and post all my answers at once for fun :)

Day 1: Your favourite book?

I’m not sure (the answer has changed multiple times since I became obsessed with Narnia last year) but for the purpose of this challenge, I will say The Horse and his Boy because it’s the first Narnia book I read (the only one I read before seeing the Walden Media movies) and because of the inclusion of talking horses as main characters. As you’ll see with a few of my answers below, I LOVE horses.

Day 2: Your favourite movie?

It would have to be Prince Caspian as that has turned out to be the biggest influence on my fandom experience and the origin of my OTP, Caspeter :)

Day 3: Is there any part of the film adaptations that have made you angry because they've ignored important parts of the book?

Not at all. The Walden Media movies were my original introduction to those particular three stories and even though I’ve since read the books (and experienced other audio/visual adaptions), the movies continue to be my favourite way to experience Narnia. However, if I expand this question to include the Focus on the Family and BBC audio plays for the entire Narnia series… while I wouldn’t say it makes me angry, I do think it’s a real shame that both audio adaptions dropped Edmund’s line from The Horse and His Boy where he says, “but even a traitor may mend. I have known one that did.” That’s one of my favourite Edmund moments/lines and it’s unfortunate that it was dropped from both audio adaptions of that story.

Day 4: Least favourite female character and why?

It would have to be either Jadis or the Lady of the Green Kirtle. Both did such despicable things in order to gain/retain control over Narnia.

Day 5: Favorite male character and why?

Picking favourites is already hard enough but being asked to choose between my two absolute favourite male characters, Peter and Caspian, feels completely impossible. But since there’s a question below where I focus on why Peter is a favourite, I shall let Caspian have his moment in the spotlight here.

So, Caspian is one half of my two favourite male characters because of his general curiosity about, not only his world, but ours as well. And his eagerness to learn about and believe in the old stories. He’s basically a fanboy for the Kings and Queens of old and that’s so relatable and endearing. :) Also because of his willingness to try to do/be better even when he doubts his ability to do so. And then going on to do exactly that by becoming a wise and fair leader who is a worthy continuation of the legacy that he grew up reading about. As you’ll see in a few of my answers below, seeing characters rise up and achieve more then they think they’re capable of is a favourite character arc of mine.  :)

Day 6: If you were in Edmund's position, what do you think you would have done?

As someone who hasn’t had the best relationship with my sister throughout my life and has been on the receiving end of some nasty behaviour from her, I’d have to say that—if caught at a vulnerable time like Edmund was—I might also accept the Turkish Delight and betray her to the white witch. Plus, I have quite the sweet tooth and Turkish Delight really is delicious.

Day 7: Favorite female character and why?

Lucy. She’s just so darn delightful and charming and is the character through which we experience Narnia for the first time as well as the character through which we leave Narnia at the end of the Walden Media movies. Basically, her journey in Narnia is our journey as viewers. While her faith in Aslan might never waver, she still has her own journey in learning to believe in herself and her own strength and I love seeing her grow up and evolve across all three movies. And when we get to see her come into her own in Voyage of the Dawn Treader and take part in fights as well as protecting others (just like her older siblings), it’s hugely satisfying! :)

Day 8: What do you think would be your favourite mythical creature?

Unicorns. Given my fondness for horses (and even more so when I was growing up) this is an easy answer :)

Day 9: Least favourite male character?

Shift because he’s so greedy and played a significant part in trying to take over Narnia. And I hate how he so callously manipulates Puzzle.

Day 10: Centaurs or fauns?

Centaurs, also because of my love of horses and all horse-adjacent creatures.

Day 11: What character would you say you are most like?

As the eldest in my family, Peter is definitely the one I relate to the most and particularly his characterisation in the movies. He’s prideful at times which can sometimes lead to him taking it personally when his ideas/beliefs are challenged but he’s also ever loyal to those he cares about and wants fairness for everyone. This is me all over :)

Day 12: Favorite Pevensie?

Peter is definitely my favourite Pevensie (and the other half of my two favourite male characters. Yes, pun intended lol) precisely because he’s the one I relate to the most. Also, he’s a reluctant leader who doubts his place in the prophecy but his bravery pushes him ever onwards. So, another character who rises above their own self-doubts and learns to have faith in themselves and their own abilities and, in Peter’s case specifically, also learns to have faith in the people around him. I also love his relationship with each one of his siblings. He’s the ultimate big brother who, above all else, does what’s best for them (as well as his people). Even if it’s to the detriment of his own safety/happiness sometimes. I just love him so much, okay :)

Day 13: Least favourite movie?

This is a hard one because I adore all these movies. But by process of elimination, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is my least favourite.

Day 14: Team Narnia or Team Telmarine?

As a Caspeter shipper, I’m going to say both! lol But seriously, not all Narnians are good and not all Telmarines are bad and, after the events of Prince Caspian, the Narnians and the remaining Telmarines form one society so, I’d have to say that I’m on both their teams :)

Day 15: Who would be your best friend in Narnia?

I think maybe Reepicheep or Susan. Reepicheep just has that sort of extrovert-with-a-nurturing-side vibe that would be perfect for getting my antisocial introvert self to come out of my shell with little effort. However, like Susan, I’m quite practical and have a younger sister so I feel like she’s the character I would relate to more easily on a personal level and can see myself having long conversations with her. 

Day 16: Did you like the Caspian/Susan relationship in the film adaptation of Prince Caspian?

I don’t remember for sure but I imagine I would have been quite invested in Suspian when I first saw this movie in 2008. But ever since rewatching this movie (for the first time in years) a year ago, I’d probably just describe myself as having no strong feelings one way or the other about Suspian. I don’t love it but I don’t hate it either. And I certainly wouldn’t want to wish it out of existence because to do so might have had flow-on effects in the story writing process that might have changed parts of the story that I do care about (if only because it has provided footage for my Caspeter videos :) ). Besides, Caspian’s true love is Peter and no one will convince me otherwise.

Day 17: Do you want the remainder of the Narnia books to be made into films?

Yes! I love all Narnia adaptions and think there’s always room for more interpretations. I just hope we can see someone adapt all the books into a series of movies or a TV show someday so we can see a consistent vision and cast. I hope for the best with the Netflix adaptions but, knowing Netflix’s track record (and that of all streaming services really) of cancelling things that don’t get a large enough audience, I’m not expecting them to go the distance.

Day 18: Least favourite book?

The Last Battle. And this one is a far more definitive answer compared with my answer to the question about my least favourite movie. I will never not feel traumatised by the knowledge that everyone dies and, in the case of the kids, that they all die so young. And that Susan was forced to mourn her entire family all alone :(

Day 19: Do you prefer the books or films?

I prefer the Walden Media movies for sure. I absolutely adore them. There’s obviously all the nostalgia from having watched and loved these movies as a teenager and them being my original introduction to the specific books they’re based on. Then they re-entered my life at a time when Narnia was able to take on a whole lot of significance for me personally. Plus, there’s no getting away from the fact that the particular way in which these movies were adapted now feels like an intrinsic part of my relationship with this franchise and the fandom. In short, those movies are EVERYTHING to me :)

Day 20: If you got to meet one member of the cast, who would it be?

Another hard one. I would love to meet all of the core cast (Georgie, William, Anna, Skandar, Ben and Will) but, if I have to pick just one, I will say William Moseley so I can tell him how much his portrayal of Peter has meant to me.

Day 21: How do you feel about C.S. Lewis' decision not to bring Susan back to Narnia with the others?

Well, given the way the question is phrased, I would have to say that I actually appreciate that Susan isn’t killed in order to service the plot. The real tragedy is that the others were killed so young before they had a chance to really live their lives. In my mind, not killing the friends of Narnia would have had very little impact on The Last Battle’s main arc. So, them reconnecting with Narnia through Aslan’s Country has always been secondary to the sadness of their tragic deaths and that Susan was forced to mourn them all alone. But because she was spared that tragic fate, at least Susan has a chance to move on and live her life the way they all should have been able to. With the wisdom of their time spent in Narnia to light the way.

Day 22: What is your opinion on Aslan's character?

He has some moments where I question his methods (I can’t help but think he’s being too cruel with his punishment when he’s slashing Aravis’ back) but otherwise I find him to be an interesting character. And I do rather love the bond between him and the Pevensies and Lucy especially.

Day 23: Any part of the books/movies that makes you cry?

Oh, so many. From reading the books, the part I remember making me cry was when Cair Paravel was being overtaken by the Calormens during The Last Battle. In the movies, it’s the farewells at the end of Prince Caspian and Voyage of the Dawn Treader. No matter how many times I watch these movies (and I’ve seen them a few times over the last year and a half), these bits make me cry every time. I’ll mention the audio adaptions as well. :) From the Focus on the Family audio adaptions, it was when the kids describe the train crash before their respective arrivals in Narnia/Aslan’s Country in The Last Battle. And in the BBC audio adaptions, it was the train accident scene itself. I was not expecting a first-hand experience of that scene and it was absolutely brutal to listen to :(

Day 24: Any particular scene you wished had been put in the movie but wasn't?

I know this question is supposed to be about missing book scenes but I’m actually going to mention a deleted Prince Caspian movie scene. I wish they hadn’t cut the, ‘what about your own future?’ deleted scene between Caspian and Peter. It’s a real crime that scene was cut out. Not only is it a nice moment between the two that solidifies their transition from rivals to allies and friends but it’s also an important milestone stone in Peter’s arc from being the reluctant monarch who needs to step aside for another to eventually seeing Caspian as Narnia’s future.

Day 25: If you could change one thing about the book series, what would it be?

I would change the ending of The Last Battle. So, to build on my answer to question 21, I would avoid the train accident altogether. Eustace and Jill get into Narnia to help Tirian via the rings that Peter and Edmund recovered as they had planned. Everything in Narnia for Eustace and Jill will carry out as normal until they are thrown into the stable on the hill. In Aslan’s Country, Tirian, Eustace and Jill are greeted only by Aslan (with the other friends of Narnia all still safely back home in England) and they witness the end of Narnia. Aslan then tells Eustace and Jill that it’s time to go home with a promise that he will see them again like what he says to Lucy at the end of Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Eustace and Jill return to England where they tell the others about how they’d witness Narnia’s end and they all mourn together (including Susan because I’d drop the whole subplot about her forgetting Narnia). Lastly, we get a little epilogue at the end that says everyone goes on to live long and fulfilling lives with the lessons they all learned from their respective visits to Narnia. And then they’re all welcomed to Aslan’s Country when it’s their time. Okay, so this might have turned into me changing multiple things but, now that I’ve written it up, I don’t want to leave any of it out so I’m just going to roll with it :)

Day 26: If you could change one thing about the film adaptations, what would it be?

I’d make Caspeter real!! :D  Failing that, I’d just make Voyage of the Dawn Treader longer so its run time is closer to that of the first two movies. I think it falls short by about 30-40 minutes so making it longer would enable us to spend longer in the Walden Media version of Narnia.

Day 27: Would you rather own Peter's sword and shield, Susan's bow, arrows, and horn, Edmund's sword and armour, or Lucy's dagger and medicinal potion?

I would love to have them all of course. They’re all such beautiful and iconic props and are so representative of the world of Narnia and the respective characters they belong to. But, if I could only pick one and, since Peter is my favourite, I have to go for Peter’s sword and shield :)

Day 28: How do you feel about C.S. Lewis' allusion to Christianity and Jesus in his novels?

I’ll admit that I’m not religious at all so these elements don’t hold the same meaning to me that they do for fans who are of the Christian faith. I do however, appreciate the religious elements as an important aspect of the story that C.S Lewis wanted to tell and that they’re something that mean a great deal to a lot of Narnia fans. I think it’s testament to C.S Lewis’ writing that these stories have stood the test of time and continue to appeal to readers of all backgrounds, religious and non-religious alike.

Day 29: What is your opinion on Eustace's character?

Love him and particularly his portrayal by Will Poulter. His initial reaction to Narnia never fails to amuse me (“I don’t want to go. I want to go back to England. I’m going to back to England,” cracks me up every time I watch that movie) and I love his development as a character.

Day 30: What effect has Narnia made on your life, and how much does it mean to you?

I’ve already talked a great deal about this in a recent-ish post (plus this one has already become quite long), so I’ll just link to that other post to answer this question :)

[equixen]

THE SUN AND THE OCEAN: PETER/CASPIAN HEADCANONS

@eds-gryff and I were talking a while ago about Caspeter and she mentioned that they had sun/ocean dynamics—Peter being the sun and Caspian being the ocean. I immediately starting looking into the science (because that’s how my brain works) and proceeded to ramble on about how I saw that dynamic in their relationship. I rather liked some of the thoughts I had so I decided to expand and share :)

So, welcome to my first Caspeter headcanons post which I’ve presented through the lens of how the sun and ocean affect each other in nature :)

The Science: Sunlight penetrates the water, heats it and generates currents.

Caspeter: Peter brings warmth and light to Caspian’s life. Both figuratively, because Caspian was starved of love and affection while growing up under his uncle’s thumb, and literally, because he has always been far more susceptible to the cold while Peter has always run hot. So, not only did Caspian gain a family in the Pevensies and the love of his life in Peter, but he also gained a living hot water bottle to snuggle up to at night when he’s cold. The course of Caspian’s life was forever changed when High King Peter the Magnificent returned to Narnia.

The Science: The ocean absorbs the majority of the sun’s radiation, sometimes acting like a massive, heat-retaining solar panel.

Caspeter: Caspian is the best kind of listener and Peter trusts him more than anyone. This initially started out as Caspian encouraging Peter to tell him all his stories from the Golden Age. But, as time went on and they grew closer, this quickly evolved into Peter feeling like he could tell Caspian anything and everything. Also, once he became aware of Peter’s tendency to spiral emotionally when he gets stuck in his own head, Caspian started encouraging him to talk about whatever was bothering him just to break him out of that loop.

The Science: The ocean currents regulate global climate, helping to counteract its uneven distribution reaching Earth's surface.

Caspeter: Caspian is definitely the more level headed of the two and became quite adept at softening Peter's more dramatic emotions. Even calming him to the point that Caspian often stopped Peter from acting impulsively when he was really angry or upset about something. Either by talking Peter round and getting him to see that it’s not that bad, or simply by giving Peter a safe space to vent.

The Science: The sun's energies support life in the ocean and causes it to evaporate when heated beyond a certain point.

Caspeter: Peter nourishes Caspian’s soul. Both indirectly, as a result of Caspian hearing stories of the High King when he was younger, and directly, through Peter loving him and supporting him during the early days of his reign. And it’s through that nourishment that Caspian is lifted up to be more than he thought he could be in his role as King of Narnia. Although Caspian’s world never felt as bright or as warm after the Pevensies returned to their world, he’ll forever be grateful that Peter Pevensie was a part of his life. Even if only for a short while.

[equixen]

Me: my writing sucks and I don't know why I bother.

Also me: *wakes up at 5am the next day, suddenly consumed by an idea for latest fic. Proceed to write a page of said fic, losing a couple of hours of sleep in the process.*