#its really not much! im rly sorry
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MUALANI GRAPHICSS PLSSS
F2u! Credit, likes and reblogs are always appreciated though.
#⛓️┈┈┈•༶ posts#⛓️┈┈┈•༶ requests#I hope you don't mind me doing a lil layout instead of rentry graphics! 😅#its really not much! im rly sorry#rentry graphics#rentry decor#graphics#rentry blog#rentry stuff#rentry resources#mualani#mualani genshin#tumblr graphics#tumblr layouts#tumblr layout#also how the hell did they manage to whitewash a character when she was never even brown to begin with...
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accumulated enough abandoned wips to dump them in a post again
#deltarune#kris#noelle#my art#i actually really like that first one but once ive left a piece for too long i cannot bring myself to work on it again i dont know why.#maybe if im rly motivated and have the time.. which i have neither of right now#im sorry im always complaining abt how busy i am but its upsetting how much its been affecting how much i can draw..#whcih is why i thought now would be a good time for a post like this at least
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yknowwww there is something... deeply uncomfortable about the way mel never speaks directly to viktor in the 'build hextech weapons' scene. she really only speaks to jayce. plenty of people have pointed this out already but like the one scene they actually share a meaningful interaction and she treats him like he's beneath her. all this after jayce has emphasized how important viktor is, that hextech is theirs, together. she unequivocally ices him out, there's no other way to interpret this scene. the way it's shot too - from viktor's perspective, looking up at her, as though to reinforce the same belief in him. like he doesn't even bother expecting respect from her - or anyone from the upper echelon of piltover. he's fully accustomed to being dehumanized by everyone around him at this point. sometimes even by jayce, despite the trust they clearly have in each other.
then of course after this scene is viktor experimenting on himself. it's pretty clear that he has internalized his own dehumanization. crazy.
#dont open these tags unless you want to read an essay im so serious#quick disclaimer i do properly ship jayvik as of s2e9 aha#sorry abt the like. spam. but yk this what rewatching an insanely detailed show with fresh eyes does to a mfer#arcane#.txt#i think mel and jayce (among others) both exhibit the same kind of casual classism#jayce somewhat more obviously with his whole 'the zaunites are dangerous' spiel#and mel more subtly. its in the way she shows very little concern for the plight of the undercity until yk. it explodes in her face#she's been on the council for a decade. has done little but rub elbows with the elites of piltover and amass her own fortune#pretty clear she hasn't so much as blinked at the horrific state of zaun. this makes her a very willing participant in its oppression fyi#and then of course her treatment of viktor#ive seen it pretty heavily debated and i don't really see any reason to deny or defend these actions of hers#likewise when jayce accosts viktor and reprimands him for going to the undercity or makes a hextech weapon there's no reason to excuse him#these are clear examples of classist behaviour and i dont think it does anybody any favours to ignore it#jayvik#<-tagged bc those who do not want to read criticism of or about mel will likely have it blocked#im not here to stir the pot thanks#there's also something a bit kooky about the idea of 2 privileged rich kids commiserating about the sad state of the undercity#meanwhile a literal resident of said undercity whose perspective they could REALLY use is dying in a lab using his own body to try and#cure a common zaunite ailment/disease#meanwhile they wont help until they feel piltover is 'safe' (aka has WMDs to use against any perceived threat aha....)#anyway#its all very complicated and i dont doubt that their intentions were good (...mostly) but the road to hell and all that#it just rly bothers me that viktor was like. right there. a wealth of insight into zaun. and neither jayce nor mel even bother engaging him
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i love the term queer in relation to myself because it feels so nebulous and fluid, but also so strong. non-newtonian. like the oobleck of identitifiers. subject to extreme change, but solid in its own unique way, especially when struck. that's just my interpretation of it, but i think it's delightful.
#yapping#whenever i get sad that i don't really fall neatly under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella i remember that queer is a community in its own right#one that is its own letter of course but more than that#of people that are very individual in practice and theory to themselves#i like that#i find so much peace in it#im not rly straight or gay or bi or ace or trans or cis or anything#i just know that im existing and i could love and be attracted to anyone#i know that i love myself on the days that i wish i could grow a beard and the days where i dont#and sometimes i hate myself for that#and i find such solidarity in these other people who relish in the general nature of queerness#oooh sorry im just thinking out loud but i love queer joy so much dude i LOVE it....#it's liberating
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ALSO, like with just about everything about wyll in the full release version i m o, the way his interactions with mizora throughout the game were just sorta ported over without much tweaking to make them fit in with the new version of his character is so weird and clunky and just.... uncomfortable
the fact that mizora was mortal in the original version of the story was kind of an extremely important detail that not only wyll's entire character quest but also their entire relationship and history hinged on. the ea version of mizora was half-human, not a full devil, and according to dnd rules as i understand them, that means she would've had a regular human lifespan. (eta: yes, she's still called a cambion in the full version, but my issue is at some point between ea and full release, all the differences between cambions and devils apparently just up & vanished) so if ea mizora and ea wyll, who were around the same age, met when wyll was 17, that means they met when mizora was also somewhere in the range of her mid/late teens
there's obviously still an unhealthy power imbalance there with her being his patron and all, but there's a pretty big difference between a teenage boy being manipulated by an equally as young teenage girl into signing a pact vs a teenage boy being manipulated by a fully immortal & presumably-already-grown-at-the-time woman into signing himself into her service
and the flirty/sexual dialogue being left in makes this 100x worse. originally, mizora and wyll were explicitly in a romantic relationship that had just ended right before the game started (like literally right before. as in he told you that the nautiloid snatched them up WHILE he was in the middle of giving her his breakup speech (lmao)), but there is literally ZERO reason for the full release version of their relationship to have such a weirdly charged undertone to it??
you can't just take the dynamic of "toxic high school sweethearts who just had an insanely messy breakup 3 days ago after dating for 5+ years" and slap it onto "grownass woman who manipulated a teenage boy into signing his life away to her 5 years ago" with zero acknowledgement of the fact that that changes literally everything??
like sorry, this isn't just petty exes bickering anymore. this is now reading as nonstop sexual harassment, and to someone without the context of this happening due to a messyass rewrite (or even with it tbh), it's weird as fuck that some characters get entire arcs dedicated to unpacking the trauma that comes from being trapped in this exact dynamic, but with wyll, neither he nor the player ever get a chance to try to stop it or even really acknowledge the fact that it's happening in any significant way
the sloppiness of this whole rewrite is actually insane to me
#bg3#larian critical#i guess pt2. for blacklists#god ok im done being negative for now i promise.... im just like really actually shocked by how much i disliked the final half of act 3#as one of the like 3 ea wyll STANS and probably the only human being in the venn diagram overlap of ea wyll stans & sarevok stans#act 3 feels like a targeted attack on ME specifically jgnjkfvnm#it's just crazy how hasty it all feels like even the weird little leftovers from his ea plot in act 1???#like the corpse on the beach that still talks about mizora being in the crash#and the person on the bridge still having an item marked as a quest item... for his original ea quest... which no longer exists#sorry but how fast were yall rushing that you missed imo pretty obvious stuff like that. its just so wild#nd yeah the only black companion being the only one to never rly get the chance to speak up for himself#and being the only one with like... pretty much ZERO autonomy over anything that happens to him......#really not a great look lol
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i am once again incredibly fond of something the broader fandom hates
#I LIKE SUPER !! I LIKE IT A LOT !!!!!#im tired of seeing gohan fit tierlists that exclude super...#i also like gt.. i still haven't seen much of it yet but so many of the characters designs r cute#and i like ss4. for fag reasons if im being honest#and we get mustache vegeta.....#i like every thing sorry. except shitty haircut cardigan gohan. i wont budge on that#he ljterally looks like a background character ITS SO SUCKS !!!!! Y DOES GOKU GET TO KEEP HIS CUTE HAIR WHEN *HE* BECOMES A FATHER#i understand not liking super it sucks that vegetas arc has to get suspended forever#and bulma and chichis permanent wife-mother statuses suck (though this isnt rly unique to super)#i just like. literally everything else about it . its fun that its so silly. toriyama was a gag writer first ‼️#dbz is kind of the most serious the franchise had ever gotten and would ever get#like i LOVE dbz of course and i think like me it was a lot of peoples first introduction to the franchise#but i feel like theres an idea that its like. the most “pure” dragon ball rather than like an interesting deviation#its also weird to me that people dislike super/gt/daima/whatever for being like. ridiculous. like it has ALWAYS been absolutely ridiculous#characters in db were using the dragon balls for like. extra height. and the comfiest pair of underpants. and a boyfriend#the really elaborate and strategic wish plots in dbz are awsum but not the end all be all i feel ...#i guess it also comes from people thinking of db as like an inferior predecessor to dbz? so they think of anything db-like as a downgrade#charlie words#am i out of tags and tumblr hasnt told me again
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yeah its been like 2 months already but the comment of me being in the closet being one of the reasons they cant be w me rly stuck. and i would be lying if i didnt think abt it at least once a week lol
#you take something im very sensitive about (being in the closet) and you apply it to my relationship... and say that its BECAUSE of it#that we arent compatible........... yeah that for sure isnt gonna stick :)))#like i keep thinking about it and its like. in this day and age in my specific circumstances#(feeling more masculine. being more confident when i look/feel more masculine. not being able to LOOK more masc bc of my parents. etc)#it would be so hard for me to date or even meet anyone new. like. first of all i have to meet new ppl. which the best way to do#is to go to gay parties. which dont happen that often AND i can go when the stars align (me being available+friends wanting to go)#and then. i have to TALK to ppl. which i dont do bc im closed off like that. THEN we have to be compatible. and everything else#that goes after that. i will literally never be able to date anyone atp like this is crazy. and obviously its no ones fault. OBVIOUSLYYYY.#but holy fuck that comment rly stung. and idc that they said that of course they understand how hard it was for me to be in the closet.#it seemed like they DIDNT understand. not really. like im sorry my safety at home comes before us seeing each other. i always feel#like im doing something wrong at home so doing something that my parents definitely wouldnt approve of is a very big step for me#like the entire trip to vlc. yes i was nervous bc i was seeing them but also bc. i was going on a FOUR HOUR TRIP without my parents knowing#like fun fact but if i had traveled the week i was planning on traveling. i would NOT have been able to get back. bc of the floods.#like i literally risked so much. and i kept thinking abt it the entire trip there#xarra xarra
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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can russia and north korea just nuke us already this is hopeless
#sorry to be so fatalistic on main i just have zero faith in the american public atp#i just rly wanted to believe that more americans couldve used this opportunity to prove to the rest of the world that we arent all a bunch#of sensationalist/conspiracy-driven/aggressively braindead/violent/bigoted alt-right lunatics#& i never had much faith in kamala & walz to begin with obviously im incredibly cynical towards these status quo gatekeepers and the#downright impotence of the neoliberal democratic party#but this wouldve been an easy swerve away from dozens MORE of horrible awful inhumane policies that will ultimately vanquish#the quality of life for the entire american working class like myself and our already pisspoor education system and our lousy#climate change policies and impossible living standards#but no unfortunately there is no way in hell for americans to prove even a modicum of intelligence or worth we're all basically suicidal#and despite my own immense yank bashing tendencies and complete disdain for our government i really wanted this country & my ppl to defy#our own reputation of being so fucking stupid and backwards i really did. in the tiniest little place of my heart was legitimate hope#& a tiny bit of patriotism thats now been squashed completely & this was just another large-scale international humiliation that we legit#voted that guy BACK IN after everything that has happened the last four even eight years. its unbelievable.#again obviously i dont like kamala but it still wouldve been a grand opportunity to stall against what the gop is already destroying#and with push and shove we could have made slight progress forward as a country and try to protect our social programs#be it as flawed as they are and with enough support we could have strengthened them a little. make drugs less expensive. continue forward#with clean energy decreasing our use of fossil fuels even more.#protect our education system so the up and coming generations could receive higher standards of learning than what the rest of us had#NO ABSOLUTELY NOT. im too poor to continue living here and im too poor to fucking leave !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#SORRY THIS WAS EXTREMELY EXTREMELY EXTREMELY LONG THANK U FOR READING IF U DID MY BRAIN FEELS LIKE MUSH RIGHT NOW SO I DONT KNOW HOW#INTELLIGIBLE THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE#and if this makes anyone mad @ all then ill just delete it cuz by god i dont need more grief and self hatred !#txt
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i got so angry about the AB remaster i drew this
#maplestory#satsuhart#angelic buster#tear#sorry i have to go off about it bc i dont wnna make a separate post about it#im so angry about every single aspect of the new design and art holy shit#simplified all her patterns but added more colours to her main outfit resulting in a rly shitty colour palette#even got rid of her cute peach pink hair with yellow gradient for some bullshit pink/blue hair dye#the bows are drawn SO badly they look so cheap and the added colour looks terrible . her og outfit never even had pink#and dont even get me started on the weapon and the addition of hearts to her design HOLY SHIT im so mad#like before it very clearly had a fantasy 'idol... who Fights' vibe but now she just looks like any low budget jp idol#fkin ruined the look of her soul shooter i used to like the design so much now it looks like a knockoff kids toy that would shoot bubbles#WITH A HEART >!>?!??!?! im gonna kill something#im also so mad theyve fully rounded out her eyes and ADDED HEARTS?!?!?! like i really liked how she had sharp kinda dragony pupils#but thats all gone now SNZZ i can only hope they at least make adjustments to her outfit before release bc wow its terrible!#drawing her again after all these years made me re appreciate how nice her outfit is altho its not like i ever stopped thinking that.#it was always nice#shes cute without being overbearing about it but now its dialed up to 11 i hate it i hate it#everytime maple remasters an illust i lose a few years of my life like seriously they havent put out any nice remaster visuals since 2013#(RED explorers and they werent even visual remasters in the general sense)#like WAH at this rate im gonna be so pissed off when they get to heroes remaster. theyre gonna butcher my boy and my girl and my#ok im stopping for now but rly. hope ppl are loud enough about their contempt for this bc it didnt work enough for explorers remaster#NOTMYANGELICBUSTER
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Now why do u have that as ur pfp… thats disgusting and disrespectful
hiiii hello xx I’ve always loved Saki from 177013! (and the doujin as a whole ofc) haha I remember I watched an interview with ShindoL once where he talked about how it wasnt even meant to be thaaat horny but more of a horrific story that spiraled out of control, and he never anticipated the reception of it.
anyways I’ve always just really related to her and take it as a cautionary warning of how I could’ve turned out were it not for a good support system around me! I just really see myself in her with how I used to be and my mentality and naivety and everything so xx
#urusai! baka#i actually remember when i first stumbled upon it when i was like 16? 17?#and i didnt read the tags bcos im dumb and brazen and i actually just expected a cheeky 20-30pg doujin for a fun n fresh goonsesh#and i watched on in shock horror as everything unfolded and just spiraled completely out of control#and i actually had to stop for water#bcos it was just so visceral to me#bcos its ironically rly raw and realistic for a doujin#minus the fucking in every instance thing#but something about a naive girl trying to change herself and wanting to be liked#noticed by boys and invited out by girls#and being sheltered not understanding yhe repercussions of drugss and#all the dangers out in tne world#feels very real and relatable to how i once was#in a way hahahaha#(i mean ive been chronically onlune so i wasnt that naive but the desperation mixed with no irl experience was definitely there)#(the blind trust and like people pleasing and not standing up for urself)#this got really deephaha but i feel like i always get kinda deep when i talk abt 177013#every once in a while it gets brought up on my blog haha#im sorry to everyone ive influenced to read it and hated it!!#and this is ur warning that if u DO go look for it (if youve not already HAHA) theres like every triggering theme in there ever so#READ RHE TAGS DONT BE ME HAHA#ANYWAYS thats so much yap sorry anon this is not what u signed up for haha#xoxoxo#omg i just remembered this come sup so often on my blog i deffo used to have a tag specifically dedicated to it#is it maybe juat#177013#we’ll try it iguesss
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🖤 for misa about light ??
attractiveness:
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
personality:
grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.
how likely they would have sex with them:
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends (eventually, over time) / my only friend. (eventually, over time)
first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
send 🖤 and my character will answer about yours; specify. || ALWAYS ACCEPTING || @prodigum.
#answered.#dynamic; misa & light.#brb kms#italics mean sometimes !! the present is all answered in the context for the on the run / survival au !!#anyway she ............. loves that man. SO MUCH#despite everything#like. especially after That she feels shell never be pretty enough tall enough kind enough compassionate enough smart enough or sexy enough#even though logically she KNOWS she's the shit#like she already struggles to forge genuinely meaningful connections w/ people especially w/ bpd#i genuinely think even if she's the second kira she'd try to use her vast fame & platform for humanitarian causes#& i think she'd try to influence light to do the same w/ her in the hopes of creating that new world light always wanted#im personally of the belief that despite how oof the beginning of their relationship was that there WAS some tenderness there#bc like im sorry u dont go through SIX YEARS of being w/ sb & not have any affection for sb thats just not how it works lmao#& we talked about them a fuckton in dms already on how eventually in this au they slowly start to get closer after losing everything#& its rly sweet & like really fucking sad at the same time. bc like. it took That Long for him to finally recognize her worth & how she's.#really the only one who truly genuinely unconditionally loved him & he's like. astonished by that. & it took him literally almost dying#& especially after That reveal like they get a lot closer#but the fact that she literally dies not longer after him literally on the exact same day as him tells you everything you need to know#she loved that man SO MUCH. they're each other's red thread of fate but where it digs into the hands like red barbed wire & bleeds.#anyway they make me so fucking feral#prodigum
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I think there were some serious growing pains when katniss and peeta were starting to "grow close" again.
#NOT TAGGING THIS but yeah this would be maybe a few months post?#when katniss and peeta are just starting to be friends again#while peeta is still kind of adjusting to the new person he is and coming to terms with what he's done in that process#which ends up making him come across as a little bitter? but i dont think he means to be. weird situation obviously.#and i think it's particularly hard for katniss considering she's someone who gets so much comfort from physical contact#and for the person from whom she got so much comfort to have snuck up on her and tried to kill her. twice.#because theres no denying that THAT person is closer to who peeta is now than who he was before being tortured in the capitol#so it takes a long time for her to not fear his touch. i think. and i think although he knows better#peeta's still kind of burned by it. like he understands it but it still hurts kind of thing#... IDK sorry i have a lot of thoughts about how their dynamic would have to fundamentally change post-mj#and its kind of weird how that's glossed over i mean its not plot relevant i guess but if theyre....#WHATEVER anyway yeah.#id like to do smth more with this idea of them adjusting to their new relationship so this is rly just a draft :)#sorry can you tell i could talk about peeniss for hours??? can you tell????????#ive really gotta practice drawing burn scars also because at this point theyd both have pretty angry burn scars on their faces and hands#i also think im rambling a lot here bc i dont want ppl to get the wrong idea or anything bc i hold both of them so close to my heart#same kind of thing as mommy katniss i guess i udnerstand it doesnt portray them in the best light but at the same time i really do think.#realistically they just wouldnt.... be well adjusted? sorry. anwyay. diddle out.
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the difference btwn irl and online perspective on creativity is so funny to me and idk if I'll ever get used to the stark contrast of it all.
IRL when I mention that I draw and write, people act like I'm some super talented creative genius(???). they don't seem to understand the concept of OCs, and if I try to vaguely touch on my DL project they get visibly overwhelmed no matter how simple I make it for them, and eventually they settle on just insisting that I need to publish traditionally and monetize on it. they don't seem to have the ability to understand the concept of zines and immersive storytelling through non-traditional means.
but then i get online and I'm just another drop in the ocean and always a very mediocre drop at that LMAO, I constantly fight with myself to feel like there is any sort of value to my stories and art, and there's hundreds of people doing the sort of thing that I do but even better than I could ever dream of doing!
it's just so strange going from interacting with this online to IRL, I feel like I'm getting whiplash from being largely ignored or scoffed at online (which I'm fine with btw lol I grew up with that in my family and now I get nervous when I get too much attention) to people at the centre treating me like I'm some kind of artistic genius who cannot be understood because I'm too far above their level 😭
#i simplify the things i talk about so much too like djdksl i rly make it as easy as possible to understand#i continue to simplify things more and more when i talk to ppl. i get vaguer and vaguer. and yet !!!!#it rly is not difficult to understand i feel like ??? the concept of zines is just so simple really#but these ppl are all so deeply entrenched in traditional novels that the concept of a zine is far outside their understanding ig 😭#im just dhfjdls struggling going back and forth btwn these two spaces of online vs IRL#the thing is that i do just want to share my ideas w ppl! i enjoy it!#and i want to hear their ideas too!#but everyone is so weird irl to me about it ??? like. calm down. im a little freak. do not treat me like im way beyond ur understanding!!#if u played w me in the space then u would see oh actually art is smth everyone can engage in!!!#art is not for ''talented'' people only!!! everyone can make it!!! u gain skill the longer u work on it!!#i prefer sharing stuff online bc of this fjdkdl but then online has its drawbacks too#i have a hard time not being mean to myself abt how my work does not measure up to other ppls fjfkdl#which is silly bc i LOOOVE seeing ppl make art no matter what their skill level or whatnot#and i get sad seeing ppl be down on themselves abt their creations#but ... idk sbdjdl I'm rambling LOL i was just thinking abt how strange all this is#sorry for the weird ramble post LOL this is probably smth that should go on my main account but too late now fjdkdl#dandy.cmd#vent //#not rly meaning for this to be a vent but i think perhaps it has some flavours of being one LOL
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hi!! i just wanted to say that ive liked midoyuzu since i was like 14 and its been a few years since then (obviously) but seeing your midoyuzu art now is so!!! its so fulfilling to my past self who had like NO art to go off of, i guess? anyway! your art is super good and i love it so much <3
im glad omg? extremely late to the party but by god i am bringing snacks in here or die trying o7 was pretty baffled the first time finding out more abt their dynamic and looking them up on here to find maybe like two more recent posts and the rest from no sooner than 2017 or so askjdghsjkgdhjks but really THANK YOU!!!!!!!! happy to be of service to your inner 14yo somewhat ;v;
yknow what though the really funny thing is that i wasnt even that into them initially. just remembered that cute interaction at the end of xmas live and thought "huh these two r kinda sweet actually" and that curiosity is always a slippery slope into genuine investment and by god is tripping into it a favorite pastime of mine
#if i had to say tho honestly these two were both the last ones of their units i managed to get attached to properly#yuzuru has definitely become my fav of fine though but my actual rst fav is kanata LOL#also finding out yuzuru likes to draw in general is everything to me you go you funky master artist#cute critter line took me out back w a metal chair why r they so. auhhg#actually my good friend who got me in here Knows i was actually on track to becoming an ibyz liker but then. anvil fell comically on my hea#before i knew it theyve taken over almost every corner of my brain get them out!!!!! get them out!!!!!!!!#and i was already a ryuseitai fan and enjoyed fine casually but oh. oh god im a yuzurup too now arent i goddammit#SORRY THIS BECAME A RAMBLE UM. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!#asks#anonymous#sometimes i forget that their actual interactions probably amount to no more than 6 or 7 times in canon and the rest is just in my head#that and i just think its rather nice for both of their characters to get along!! romantic or platonic#really sweet to see midori so pumped up and passionate about the things he loves and yuzuru getting thrown off his rhythm of the always#perfect butler who resigns himself into the background most of the time. theyre just having fun!!! silly guys#and yuzuru rly does enjoy art and nonsensical doodles even if people generally find it horrifying midori loves them wholeheartedly its. yea#okay im still rambling. ill shut up now i havent slept properly in a bed in nearly 48 hours i should go do that
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venting sorry. i get emotional thinking of the media both me and my dad loved growing up and the father daughter bonds that were the highlights of those movies and tv shows to him and i feel like i failed
#my dad and i used to watch adventure time together and my dad LOVED simon and marcy and he learnt daddy why did you eat my fries on the#guitar and i used to sing it with him. and one time when i was 14 ish and severely depressed and anxious we had people over#and my dad was talking about adventure time lmao and was getting his guitar and wanted me to sing it with him and i just said NO.#because i was mad at him. and embarassed. and we never sung it together ever again. its been too long now. that window has closed.#but i wish we could#my relationships with my dad never really recovered after my teen years and its hard to talk to him.#i wish i could talk to him. we are really similar. in the bad ways too#vent#SORRY GUYS i need to find a therapist#my family just never talks abt their feelings. or when they do its when theyre angry. i dont feel like i can bring this up to them.#i just hate knowing i rejected my dad like that. he probably saw me not wanting to sing w him as very personal. not that hed ever say it#AND FUCKIN INTERSTELLAR me and my dad both loved interstellar at a time when i was -again- severely depressed and locking myself in my room#and the father and daughter go have scenes that feel very similar to things that were going on in my house at the time. where shes#baracading the door and not letting people in. it rly hit home is what im saying#and my dad loved the movie i loved it too but the family relationships in the movie were never discussed whenever we talked abt it#but for christmas one year my dad gave me a watch. like the one fuckin matthew mcconoughey give his daughter in the movie#and i wear it all the time. it makes me fuckin cry sometimes that stupid fucking watch. but it means so much.#i just wish hed talk abt his fucking feelings so i wouldnt need a watch to know my dad still loves me#also this post is about transitioning and my dad feeling like he lost that father daughter bond with me but we wont get into all that
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