#its past my bed time lol

[aeternxm]

@stormfated asked: “ being strong doesn’t mean never asking for help or admitting you’re in pain. ” for takeshi ( more prompts for your feels | accepting! )

no.

no no no no no no no no no no NO--

she's wrong, she has to be wrong otherwise what the fuck was the point to any of this? what was the point of everything he'd ever fuckin' done in his life ; the suffering, the pain, the abuse --

hands clench into fists at his side, the usual bubbly self that he seems to so effortlessly keep in place cracks for just barely a moment. it's the sharp intake of breath, the way his eyes dart to the nearest exit like he's planning some escape route. takeshi had always been strong - not because he wanted to, but because he had to. his strength had kept a roof over his and takeo's head for all those years, he'd gotten takeo through school - taking on jobs that paid better ( that put him at serious risk ) just so that he could get through medical school without any fuckin' loans.

takeshi had been beaten, battered, and bruised ; and he'd done it all without a single complaint, he'd done it on his own. not for himself, but for takeo. that was strength to him. he'd sacrificed his life, his future - everything he'd fuckin' had to make sure that takeo could have everything that he'd wanted and more because he fuckin' deserved it. takeo was the smarter one, the one with the potential - their father had said it more times than takeshi cared to remember. it had been drilled into his mind that takeo was better at everything, he'd make something of himself and takeshi? well, he'd just get by, wouldn't he? it's why he'd made such an effort to make sure that takeo had every fuckin' shot in the world to make something of himself.

when takeshi came home to their dingy shared mattress on the floor, their room with no heating, with mold growing on damn near every surface and barely a blanket to share between them it had been takeshi that froze. when they'd been on the street begging before seunghyun had found them it was takeshi that would stay awake, that would freeze those winter nights to make sure that takeo was well rested for school the next day.

he was strong because he had to be. he was strong because takeo needed him to be. his twin would never know, would never truly know just how much takeshi suffered - and he would never have to. that was strength to takeshi ; taking on all the suffering so that at least one of them might have a shot at a normal fuckin' life.

but rayne's words hit him where it hurts. he supposes he's never really had someone take a look just that little bit further, yanno? everyone loves the life of the party ; happy and willing to make himself look a fool purely for someone else's entertainment. who could possibly want to dig beneath the surface when all they'd find is this fuckin' mess of a person. his strength was little more than a facade, chipped and cracked and just barely holding on by a thread. takeshi couldn't afford to show who he really was, otherwise who would want to be around him? he was fucked up and broken and disgusting and ugly and everything that seunghyun ever said to him.

a waste of space. waste of space. a waste of fuckin' space--

he shakes his head, tries to shake those thoughts away before he gets lost in them. rayne didn't need to see that side of him, otherwise she'd leave him too, wouldn't she? what good was takeshi to anyone if he was broken?

so he shrugs, puts on that smile that rayne has no doubt come to expect of takeshi and oh, it's like the comments just brush right off 'em now! nothin' could get takeshi down - just a regular ol' ray of sunshine, he is!

❝ man! tha' came outta fuckin' nowhere - yer funny, yanno that? say th' weirdest shit sometimes! ❞

[osarina]

well that might've been one of the most embarrassing things in american history

[wp100]

why is his side profile so good

[b4kuch1n]

tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"

[gifti3]

im not very good at the dynamic one,,,

[baekuras]

Elden Ring DLC is already amazing bc the first thing I did was die so some stealthy screaming naked maniac with gauntlets and the second thing I did was avoid the dog on fire that was positivley surrounded by bloodstains

[guinevereslancelot]

i should be able to call in sleepy to work

[bell-swamp-fitzjames]

sometimes u just have to lean into the grandpa core and accept if u want to leave genuine comments sometimes you're gonna say things like "thanks for sharing" bc its just cool ppl share their free time with u

[rox-of-iu]

Hey, just felt called to let you know that your MQF from SVSSS doodles give me such life and inspired how I write MQF in my fics. I love how you depict him and your art style is so refreshing and cute!

Just thought you should know. Hope you have a good day!

HELLO HI THANK YOU SO MUCH??? 😭😭😭💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 GLAD TO BE OF SERVICE HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY OR NIGHT

[ofcowardiceandkings]

the sinus headaches are already not great but Extra Shit has been added to the pile and im just sat on that right now trying to figure out what the fuck to do

[gorillaxyz]

WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT IS SUCH A GOOD MOVIE AAUUUGHHHGH

[bmpmp3]

i do like dave in blue a lot

[phagodyke]

once again saved by elden ring 🙏

[lizeon]

hi tumblr how's it going coming here fresh off a stream to be cringe but free on main because i'm slowly reaching the point of being unable to shut up about this guy

if you've been thinking about getting into vtubers, or if you're looking for a new streamer to watch, or if you're just bored or whatever, might i suggest looking no further than Banzoin Hakka, member of holostars english guild tempus, the coolest and the cutest exorcist of all xenokuni; metalhead and screamo vocalist; lover of strawberries, reptiles, and visual kei; hololivemeet ambassador 2024; current rent-free resident of my brain and my kamioshi:

he's really funny and very silly, and boy he does say some cursed shit occasionally, but also really genuine and hardworking, he likes to come up with fun and interesting ideas for streams, plays a variety of games even though he's self-amittedly not much of a gamer, and even his just chatting streams are a great time! and did i mention he can sing! definitely check out his next karaoke live, or look up one of his archived ones, and of course check out his 2 original songs and his many covers because man

[spacejammie-eimmajecaps]

Immovable object (my chronic fatigue) vs unstoppable force (my desire to do literally anything other than lie in bed)

[icyfox17]

Homeee sweet homee