#its one of those situations where it rly is just abt how much I think they add to its design

[flipfliqyaoi]

Kicking my legs thinking about Hear Today Gone Tomorrow.... I need to talk about it

It is one of the TWO moments where Mondo lets us see how Flip & Fliq perceive eachother in a singular episode and it's so special to me gangg sigh(1 is this & 2 is Double Whammy except that one's special bc dude tried to fucking OD so they were just both tweaking the fuck out n well. Not sober, so)(more on that in some other yap sesh).

Over on Flippy's POV, where he's snoozing and dreaming of flying on an Alicorn, whilst outside there's like an earthquake sounding equivalent of alarms & sirens blaring from Lumpys house — when his subconscious mind registered those external triggers straight into his dream, it translated into Fliqpy chasing and slaughtering him with a helicopter with malicious intent, the LITERAL opposite of what Fliqs true intent is. (which is protecting the Host from dying), its also the first time he really acknowledged Fliqs existence (at least onscreen) AND ITS HIM FEARING FLIQ. THAT HE'S TRYING TO RUIN HIS LIFE AND HUNT HIM DOWN IN HIS DREAMS FOR SPORT. WHEN THATS NOT THE CASE. CRIES.

Meanwhile Fliq got shoved to front the moment they woke up (from the nightmare and not the actual sounds. which is rly funny that they made world's heaviest sleeper a consistent trait of his.. my seeper... my eepiest) (check Easy For You To Sleigh, but tbf he also woke up from a literal cookie crumb falling. I believe it's because they're used to ignoring loudass sounds like bombs and missiles flying by when they're getting some shut-eye but their ears are trained to alert the brain when there's very subtle sounds bc maybe someone is sneaking around and trying to capture them or smth, because they've been held hostage and tortured(?) before, as the flashback had shown in Easy For You To Sleigh) (another note why the fuck does he have so many sleepy scenes). When he start trying to kill Lumpy and pull the same fucking helicopter that was in the dream out his back pocket, upon chasing him, WE GET TO SEE FLIQ REACTING EMOTIONALLY TOWARDS FLIPPY WHEN HE SAW AN ALTERNATE VISION OF THAT DREAM WHERE FLIPPY WAVED HELLO TO HIM RLY CUTELY... guys he literally cried he literally teared up from just that he just wants Flippy to gaf abt him aswell soooo so badly it twists and pains him from the inside out that Flippy is scared of him. And it caused him to switch out IN THE MIDDLE of piloting that helicopter which could've been dangerous for Flippy (and it was they legit died in the next scene LOL) gang he switched out knowing he could be endangering Flippy to that situation. But honestly they're doomed either way bc Fliq got distracted and deviated from how he usually does his job and it fucked him up lowk so he had to switch out anyway

it puts into perspective how misunderstood both sides of this areee. Fliq wants Flippy to trust and care about him too and maybe get SOME nice acknowledgement after everything they've been through for so long but his form of protecting scares him away because it hurts his other friends anytime a trigger occurs. Which makes hanging out or celebrating or befriending w other people really fucking difficult cuz of his uncontrollable and hypersensitive PTSD triggers (check Party Animal, Hide n Seek, & This Is Your Knife). Which makes Flippy lowk be afraid and hate him more for it. for his protectiveness. sighs exasperatingly

THIS IS ALSO WHY Flaky's friendship with Flippy is soso so so interesting too because it's been hinted that they've known eachother and are friends for a consistent amount of time enough that Flaky is deadass the only character that acknowledges/KNOWS of his problem (check Without A Hitch), to the point where they get easily paranoid of Flippy suddenly going out his way to genuinely kill them....which, combined with their anxiety issues is NOT a good mix!! Yet they're still seemingly long term friends with Flippy bc im pretty damn sure they feel really bad that he's struggling this much and they just wanna be there for him (with caution lol, they're the only character that's aware of the dangers before it happens, check Party Animal [again] and literally any other time they've been hesitant to do anything, genuinely the best character to befriend Flippy because of how careful they are when it comes to interacting with people so um yeah!!!) (I also dislike when people portray Flaky as not being able to defend themselves bro have u seen them shank a literal shard of glass into Flippy's eye the moment they thought they were getting hurt by him. Along with boundaries like they know how to set them gang i swear!! pinkie promise!!!)

This friendship is mutual as also shown in Double Whammy where Fliq instantaneously switches out the MOMENT Flaky started screaming, and Flippy switches in!!!!! That does not happen with any other character that start yelling infront of Fliq/Flip!! Also Party Animal when Flaky exploded like a balloon it was the one thing that for some reason snapped Flippy in front too LMAO?? But yeah it happened twice and it was both Flaky so idk gang it must mean something right. :3333

Urrm yep!! Yeah I'm done yapping for today WAHOO >3<💚

[floorpancakes]

Are you excited about xxxHOLIC Rei coming back in less than a week?? (Also, a lot of blogs got flagged lately, you can read more about it on the wip blog!)

my answer is yes. but also no. but also im terrified. but also im so fucking excited. but i will be WATCHING CLAMP LIKE A HAWK... lemme explain.

the main run of xxxholic is almost untouchably impressively perfectly good. i change my opinion depending on the day but rou is simultaneously insanely impressive and real as fuck but also where a couple of the endgame decisions really begin to feel like the wrong ones - I fucking LOVE it especially how it portrays barely restrained want and depressive decay with adult characters, but we all know how I feel about how utterly optional and avoidable the kohane thing was (they could've done the exact same non romantic oomf marriage agreement that watanuki inevitably chooses to misconstrue to beat himself up thing w the same effects w hima and it would've been more interesting but we know how much clamp likes to shove teacher student age gap into shit even when it ISNT romantic and they would not fucking do that...) and I don't like that the moral of the story for 99 percent of chapters is 'watanuki fucking suffers with no end in sight and retracts into himself instead of growing from trauma', but also I love tragedy and angst and mental health and mutual situationship metaphors and watanuki in this era is more relatable to me than ever before unfortunately so I hold my mixed feelings but I also enjoy it super super hard for the most part. Pls note that the moral dilemma I have about rou isn't that watanuki is suffering at all, but that he's suffering seemingly with no ...exit??? In sight? Like. We don't have any relief for him in his future, so I guess that's what sours me on some of it as a whole rather than actually abt the media quality itself. Long story I hope this makes sense. We all know how much I love rouposting so I hope it checks out.

So I was already very much a fan when Rei became a thing. I remember watching new stuff come out so I was one of the people 'fooled' in the beginning by the fake reboot setup. I knew something was happening but I wasn't sure what, and the series slowly showing its hand was super interesting. I famously love the ominous chasing hands and the thing with the phone, and imo the STRONGEST part of rei that we found out later is the interactions between characters influenced by their adult selves jumping out (think watanuki clearly leaning in to yuuko's jabs, watanuki taking the wife jokes with way less resistance, watanuki having a more platonic stronger bond with hima, watanuki accidentally slipping into the slutty boss persona then fucking exploding blushing while talking to doumeki LOL, among other things). I find that aspect really interesting and it's something only clamp could do in this specific situation which is rly rly fun. So umm. I guess we knew this would end eventually but when the end of arc was approaching I think I had my first real time groan with the series: yuuko is saying watanuki can choose, and noone will judge, and either choice is ok, he can stay with the people he loves or he can go home to his old life: but is that really true? Perhaps yuuko thinks so, but the way the story shows it to us, watanuki HAS to reply to those hands. There's so many, they're so in need, they need his presence in the universe too badly, they put pressure on him and weigh the decision so it's like 'go into the dream world and get what you want and just let everyone else get fucked up forever', it just feels like. He doesn't really have an option if he wants to not come off like a dick, and that's quite weird to me, it paints him in a weird light if he wants to choose happiness for himself, even if it's a slightly more hollow one. It feels like the sort of thing holic wouldn't typically do since it's a series that likes to play with the idea that choosing things for yourself and your own happiness is a kind of selfishness that's often VERY necessary, especially if you're someone that's hurting and needs their people around them.

....So imagine the look on my face when it turned out all of this was a massive fetch quest for tsubasa reservoir chronicle.

I've never finished tsuba, I read like half of it a year or so ago and unfortunately it hasn't clicked with me yet, and neither have most of the characters. I plan on finishing it eventually and I know it gets juicy in the back half, but I've always had mixed opinions on holitsuba being marketed as a pair, especially when especially on the western side people like both but tsuba is their ACTUAL favourite, or they like both but tsuba gets more attention, or more discussion, or more merch, or more whatever. I'm aware I'm a bit of a hater about it but it's mostly nothing personal and I do really WANT to like it, but they're fundamentally very different kinds of stories and inevitably people will have their preferences or perhaps be more into one than the other yaknow. I'm aware all of my oomfs are tsuba enjoyers. I promise my haterdom isn't that serious. I'm happy for yall.

HOWEVER please imagine me in 2016 reading the chapter when it dropped and you can imagine the worlds biggest crash out of all time. Mind you I'd still feel weird about this even if I loved tsuba to death, and maybe one day I will, but holy fucking SHIT the impact of them weighing all this on watanukis shoulders only to essentially be like 'oh, watanuki got put through ALL of this to grab a Thingamajig for Some Guy (ik he's not just some guy ik the lore but narratively speaking)' . ..... I am sure even if you like tsubasa a lot this is probably a strange fucking thing to do, and this combined with clamp DROPPING THE SERIES FOR LIKE 8 YEARS immediately afterwards...??? I am still fucking baffled by this. It lowkey ruined my trust in clamp forever. What did they mean by this. Why did they think this was a good idea. What the fuck were they cooking ?:?:?:?:

Fun fact: i know there's a small handful of chapters that come after the arc ender. I have not read them since they came out. I barely remember them. I have been avoiding them out of spite. I will re-catch up soon obviously but jesus fucking c hrist 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 clamp you can't just do that to people!!! It makes it look like you hate your characters and your fans!!! Good lord!?

so basically that brings us to the present. I'm super excited, because I love xxxholic and even during Rei the chapter to chapter content was super impressive (my problems are mostly big decisions) but it also makes me think: where do we have to go from here? Where do THEY want to go from here? We've lost almost all of our main characters aside from yokai who brush in and out of watanuki's life and his shop mascot oomfs, watanuki is still depressed, arguably far more now , he has no way out, none of the doumekis have used the egg and we can't see a use for it (in canon at least) where it will even change anything now. There's many directions this could go, but unless they get really gutsy with some deus ex machina (please please please please here's how doumeki could still win please) it's hard to know what they even want to do to round this off or revive it from where it stands.

Unfortunately most of the options I can think of that I think clamp MIGHT do are things I don't really like . I can't tell how much of this is me being overly cautious or if any of this will actually happen but here's some horror stories I have rattling about in my brain that I hope WON'T happen:

- all doumekis are secretly doumeki (i don't like this!! I think they're more interesting as separate people and it would be weird as shit to act like say sayaka x watanuki is the same as shizuka x watanuki. i like the idea that the sameface doesn't mean they're the same kinda people, a la haruka)

- watanuki is secretly clow (please god no. please god no no thank you i don't like that)

- watanuki is egged and just let loose onto the world with no support system (this would be the worst payback for all of his suffering)

- watanuki remains here forever with no hope of seeing anyone of the main cast he loves again (kill)

- im actually someone who prefers yuuko coming back agnosticism to her reincarnating as a random person. i think it's more interesting that way and she wouldn't want him to have to desperately seek her out while crashing out for hundreds of years. she'd want better than that for him even knowing some things are inevitable. so all the yuuko seeking type chapters we've had so far are not of great interest to me. this is actually how I came up with canary from catverse. canary is the endless numb stasis of a life devoted to hunting for yuuko and nothing else regardless of her wishes for him to live a good life.

- idk man. some clamp bullshit

- tsubasa reservoir chronicle fetch quest...2!!

...I don't know what we're gonna get. I don't know what to expect. I am excited and I am nervous and I am dreading it a little bit too. We shall see I guess but the way they left us off with Rei hiatus and the arc ended drove me insane for YEARS OF MY LIFE. so this is how I'm feeling rn. I hope watanuki is freed from his suffering. I hope doumeki, actual doumeki, gets a presence and gets to go crazy go stupid. I hope yuuko gets a presence or non presence that befits her and she's not used as a thing to wrangle around watanuki's suffering to new heights. I hope watanuki gets happiness and progress after at least a hundred years of regression and stasis. I hope they care more about character happiness and the spirit of the story and not trying to connect it to other plots in manga they may or may not prefer and holic doesn't get more weird middle child treatment. I hope we get a w for watanuki and no annoying plot twists that sacrifice character dynamics for drama. I hope doumeki gets a madoka rebellion movie and also we get a whole volume of douwata sex as compensation . I would like to see himawari again and I don't care how. I have lost hope of them doing anything with kohane given how they sidelined her already to limply not quite fulfil the authors obvious fetish. I hope we all get a W for our long wait. I hope watanuki wears more dresses and serves cunt so hard xxxholic goes VIRAL amen

[multifandombullshitbabes]

21

24

27

And

30

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

thank you so much, I shall answer these prompts NEOW

21: Fics you wish you could find more of?

Oooohhh more fics involving Gwen, that's for sure. When she's written right she's one of the strongest, most relatable characters imo, 'cause all she wants is for the world to be right and just and kind and everything wants to prove her wrong, but she won't back down from her views. I would also adore more Elyan, just in general. And complete rewrites of the show 'cause the one I'm reading right now is so good I might do one as well. Also modern au's where they're all like secret badass spies or smth, 'cause those are so fucking cool (i am accepting fic recs for ALL of this, please feed me y'all)

24: Everyone knows that fandom doesn’t like uther but what are your feelings about gaius?

I think 1) we need more concrete info about how he was when he was younger, but 2) i think he is severely complicated and wanted what was best of merlin and morgana, but failed the two while also giving them a ton of love. With morgana, he just didnt want her to pursue her power lest she become uther's next victim, cuz gaius cares for the pendragon siblings like his own. With merlin, he was just trying his best with his overpowered nephew, who alos has a destiny regarding his people's genocide's son, and he just doesn't know what to do half the time, kinda like merlin. I didnt like how he lied to merlin n morgana, how he gaslit her and how he made merlin hide and become so anxious abt his magic (and we see what that looks like season 5), but i get it. I really get it. I dont know what i wouldve done if one wrong move could mean the death of two kids he considers his own. I bet he was scared all the time and hated himself for it.

27: Modern Merlin headcanons, if any?

OH BOY. OHHHH BOY. So many. It really depends on what au i have for modern merlin, but I'll give you a few generals:

he's a teacher of sorts; i like the idea that he's kinda collecting magical anomalies and teaching them how to understand their powers and being, since he knows what its like to be afraid of urself, so he's a personal magic teacher. I also rly like my magic elementary school au, since its merlin teaching magic to a bunch of kids, which is adorable

he has officially one cat, a black one called Midnight, that accidentally became immortal along the way and now hes severally attached. I say officially since hes also friends with any other animal that he might come across and they recognise him if he passes them again. disney princess fr

he's figured out his gender and he can turn into a woman if he wants; she looks exactly like merlin, same height, same weight n muscles, the hair is longer cuz merlin likes it that way and her voice is deep and gorgeous

his favourite weapon is a staff or any long distance fighting weapon of the sort; also he looks cool as fuck fighting with it, but thats just a bonus

I'll stop here but i have SO MANY MORE

30: Side character death that makes you the maddest?

Elyan. There was, quite literally, no need for it. I was gonna say Lancelot, since we did not get enough of him, but his death made sense for his character. Elyan? What the fuck was that? It was just for pain and nothing else. What did it add to the story if not just a sad funeral scene and thats it? It just felt like they wanted him gone n found a way, and that pisses me off. I feel like him saving gwen and living would've given such a complex situation when she turns evil, 'cause what if she "confides" more n more in her brother, creating a rift between arthur n elyan, which then creates a rift between arthur n the knights, which would just isolate him further n make him suffer, which is what morgana wanted!! we couldve had protective brother elyan! I think i just wanted more knights in general.

Thank you so much for this ask, I yapped a fuck ton but it was funn

[fr0gc4t]

a ramble/confession, and some non-dualism tips

if u seem to already consciously know that ur god AND also think in limiting beliefs, ur not alone. i do it too. it’s way more common than u think.

sometimes we understand a concept and think it’s true, but our egos don’t think in the way that would actually comply with that concept, and that stops us from fully shifting into belief and freeing ourselves from ego. “belief” and “knowing” aren’t always the same thing.

prime example: YOU knowing that ur “desires” r already urs, and then ur ego switching the process completely and being like “so where is it?”. we all know that happens to a lot of ppl in the loa/non-dualism community. the ego is tricky bc its nature is to try and intimidate us. then we slip back into ego-based thinking. happened to me, and is still happening atm. and also i wanna remind ppl that, like healing, awakening to ur true self is often not linear. and that’s totally ok as long as u don’t give up. i was pretty much almost fully realized but then i let my ego get to me again and since then i’ve been trying to get back into that state but just haven’t succeeded at changing my thoughts/improving my self-concept (adhd is making it very difficult).

look. ik it’s kinda weird to have someone post a ramble abt FALTERING at living non-dualism. most of the time, we talk abt the opposite to remind ourselves if our power. but i think it’s important to be open and vulnerable when ur struggling, especially when other ppl could learn from ur struggle.

like i said. not getting i right the first time is OK AND NORMAL. ik ppl say “changing ur self-concept is effortless” but LET’S BE REAL FOR A SEC: that’s not true for everyone, especially neurodivergent/mentally ill ppl, and ppl with intrusive thoughts (i’m all of those, btw), bc our egos r EXTRA spicy.

awakening to ur true self as the god of ur reality is healing, and healing is HARD. in this case, since whatever we are aware of is true, it doesn’t rly have to be, but when u have inner demons, MY GOODNESS IS THIS SHIT DIFFICULT (but still sooo worth it, i promise u).

so good for u if it’s not difficult. really, i’m happy for u. i just also want to bring to light my situation, which is: hearing ppl say “changing ur self-concept is effortless!!” just made it harder to change mine.

I AM NOT TRYING TO SAY ANYONE IS SAYING THESE THINGS MALICIOUSLY. I’M LITERALLY SO HAPPY AND PROUD OF U OMG. i just think that the non-dualism community should be a little more vulnerable, bc FAILING IS NORMAL WHEN TRYING TO CHANGE UR MINDSET, ESPECIALLY FOR PPL LEARNING HOW TO MANAGE NEURODIVERGENCE, MENTALL ILLNESS, TRAUMA, INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY ETC.

AND THAT IS TOTALLY OKAY!!!

i see ppl say things like “i don’t want any limiting beliefs near this page!!!” when limiting beliefs and learning to overcome them r a normal part of this process and should not be shunned, and should rather be met with compassion and understanding. AND SOME PPL DO MEET IT WITH THAT!!! but there r also many who don’t. i understand not wanting to hear ppl’s limiting beliefs in some situations, but not being open to hearing them at all just creates more stigma around being vulnerable abt faltering in this journey and needing some further encouragement or advice. positivity is only good until it becomes toxic positivity. (AGAIN, NOT POINTING FINGERS AT ANY ONE PERSON. I’M TALKING ABT ALL OF US, INCLUDING ME)

my adhd makes it so hard to stick to a new habit long enough to get used to it. and as a result, i have faltered a bit. okay, maybe a little more than a bit. AND THAT IS OKAY. THAT IS NORMAL. THAT IS SOMETHING WE NEED TO TALK ABT MORE.

maybe these stuggles r an “illusion,” but that doesn’t mean we should pretend like we don’t have them. we don’t always have to put on a happy face and go onto tumblr and vaunt to try and fight the intrusive thoughts. if u know anything abt the psychology of intrusive thoughts, FIGHTING THEM DOES NO GOOD. we should accept them and let them be there, knowing that THEY CAN’T HURT US.

even then, they might stress us out. and that’s when we might need to vent. and venting is NOT a bad thing. sometimes it’s the only way i can cool off. but instead of venting into ppl’s inboxes, we should make our own posts, like this one, in constructive language (i suggest writing the angry/anxious stuff first in ur notes, then, when ur calm, rewriting it in a constructive sense and posting it on tumblr). we need more openness to sharing our struggles. mental health struggles r sooo real (even if our human minds r illusions), and we need to make the non-dualism/loa community a safe place to talk abt those struggles and see if anyone can relate, or maybe used to relate and has adivice.

being gentle and open to this conversation is just as important as affirming that we have what we desire. bc, well, if u have the struggle i have, or something similar, u know how difficult it is. hell, i even thought abt going back to loa and trying to get into the void instead of keeping on my non-dualism path bc i thought it would be easier(???) and now i realize that that doesn’t even make sense bc both of these things require improving ur self-concept, which is what i was trying to avoid.

THAT IS LITERALLY AN EXAMPLE OF THE THING I EXPLAINED AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS POST (which was supposed to be the main topic… i rambled a lot. oops.). i knew that i had to change my self-concept no matter what, yet i thought that getting into the void wouldn’t require that. sometimes the thoughts just don’t add up. and it’s bc of the ego! i actually only became aware of that now actually.

THE EGO JUST WANTS TO CONFUSE U AND TAKE CONTROL OF U. i’m just still letting mine have power over me… but now that i’m aware of it, i can try again, this time with a different perspective.

faltering is normal. not being able to change ur thoughts the first time is normal. having this kind of weird cognitive dissonance is NORMAL. THE IMPORTANT THING IS TO NOT GIVE UP, AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER.

you failed to change ur mindset and ended up spiraling? needing a break from trying to change it? i don’t blame u, this stuff is hard. it’s okay tho! what u need to do now (or when ur ready) is: FORGIVE URSELF AND TRY AGAIN. and don’t be afraid to start the conversation of “can anyone relate to this?” or whatever helps u.

we can do this. we can change our thoughts, even with any obstacles we may face, bc we are stronger than our egos. WE’RE GOD, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! we can do ANYTHING.

the first step is knowing that faltering is okay. next is realizing that our knowledge of who we are doesn’t always match our thoughts, and that that is the nature of our brains. the next step is forgiving ourselves and moving on.

hopefully this rant wasn’t too jumbled or confusing, i kinda just wrote it here without any planning lolz. i need to figure out a format.

and i hope some of u could relate to my struggle. be as open as u want in the replies. i will not judge. if u need to make ur own little rant, it’s fine by me.

also, sorry for being gone for a while. i don’t use tumblr very much anymore. i’m slowly falling away from all apps except pinterest, amazon and depop 😅 but dw, i won’t let myself fall too far. i luv tumblr and the non-dualism and loa community has changed my life and opened my mind in so many ways. even if i haven’t succeeded at getting all my desires quite yet, it’s okay. i will succeed. maybe not right away, but i will. and so will u. (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

[lapdogchase]

hi

hello internet strangers want to hear about my personal life as per usual

well as those familiar w my lore know my title ix case (us-specific college thing where, tldr, if u get sexually assaulted u can do a little mini court case thru ur school) is finally fucking over + i won . which is awesome. unfortunately the respondent (title ix word for "person who did the assaulting") got preeeetty much no sanctions at all . like literally nothing changed . the lawyer recommended they be moved to the other dorm hall but they couldnt, so basically they got put on probation and that's it. Lmao. which means my situation is WORSE than before i filed the complaint, bc b4 i filed the complaint they were in the other dorm hall, and then they moved to mine. but i can't do shit about it unless i want to take my school to, like, court.

well anyway the respondent's life changed in no meaningful way Except they moved out of the dorms last month by their own choice. i assumed that meant they were embarassed abt what they did But i guess not. Bc they've been getting really into on campus events and hanging out in the central building that i like to hang out at. and its like. okay. whatever.

but the thing is . theyve been going to a lot of queer-centric events recently . and while im the only person whos filed a complaint or won a case against them. i am not the only victim i know that for a fact and the other victim is also a queer person. So can you see why im worried about someone who managed to sexually assault two queer people within the first week of living on campus like, integrating themself into the community like nothing fucking happened

and theres this school dance coming up in a couple weeks and im worried that will give them an opportunity to like. hurt someone else.

and i want people to KNow what they did because i dont feel safe with them on campus anyway but i especially dont feel safe now theyre talking to people and making friends (especially bc most of their friends r like. friends of friends. like i dont know them but i know of them yk) . i dont know what theyre saying about me (if anything) and i especially dont know if theyve hurt anyone else. and they might have! because they demonstrated a frankly dangerous lack of regard for consent repeatedly Like i think this is a genuinely dangerous person, whether by malice or stupidity or both, and i dont want anyone else to get hurt

BUT THE KICKER IS...! well first of all we're bound by a no-contact order (baby version of a restraining order). you cant be in the same classes and you cant talk to each other (irl, online, or thru a 3rd person) the title ix coordinator has provided jack shit about what a no contact order actually entails btw lol 😒. But if i were to tell someone and they went and told that person, idk if that would be considered 3rd party contact, which would get Me in trouble

i also dont know if it would be considered "breaking confidentiality" if i said their name- again, don't know jack shit, don't have documentation of the actual rules i'm supposed to be following. but i really dont feel like this is a safe situation for this person to be on campus with no one knowing what they did

im also just generally worried about them finding out ive told people and getting mad and going to the coordinator and me getting in trouble when the only reason im even considering this is bc, again, the school didnt do jack shit

and i dont even know How i would tell aynone . like im not rly friends with most of these people . i see them around and some of them i think are cool but theyre not friends or really even aquaintences . so it would be fucking weird .

but i dont know what to do and i dont want anyone else to get hurt . and i know thats not on Me, but. i also dont want to sit back and Know. and not say anytthing

[dateamonster]

what’s your opinion on monstrous transformations (both fast and slow), and also more controversially what do you think about having monsters/nonhuman characters serve as minority allegory (as opposed to society’s hate for them being being an allegory)

ohhh hold on this is a rly good question i think abt a Lot actually.

ok getting the first bit out of the way, love a good monstrous transformation. fast, slow, its all good. i personally like gradual slow shifts the most but its a situational thing. transformation is one of those things that like just always has to be symbolic. even more than the degree to which Everything is symbolic ya know. so like context rly matters when it comes to how to invoke it most effectively.

MOVING ON

i think from the phrasing of the ask ur looking for something more along the lines of like. for example shapeshifters as representation of nonbinary people or aliens as representation of different cultures rather than like monsters vs humans as allegory for racism. but im also not sure you can meaningfully separate the two! the latter i think is more overused so it like registers more as an immediate red flag, but its like. if the aliens from avatar werent being violently invaded by humans it wouldnt make like their reskinned stereotypical indigeneity anymore tolerable i dont think.

which isnt to say i think every story that draws connections between fantastical fictional species and real world people are inherently bad. i dont really think theres any trope that i believe cant be handled well by anyone under any circumstance. the super easy fix to bad rep via monster or fantasy creature characters is basically just have actual humans who also represent those same identities and communities and experiences so that the audience isnt drawn to connect the traits of any one group with your fictional species.

the harder fix is to like seriously analyze why you want this character to be a monster and what that says about them and what that says about you and your own experiences and biases and what you actually want to communicate with the inclusion of this character. and when applicable hire a sensitivity reader. its kinda crazy how many pieces of media seem to prefer half-assing the hard way over just doing the easy thing and not assigning the status of token minority to a literal monster.

of course once again all of this is ya know circumstantial. im speaking to like my own experiences and the things ive observed. and its weird too! bc im also speaking as someone who like is trans and nonbinary and thinks of myself and my gender expression as inherently intertwined with monstrosity. and as someone who is autistic and thinks of myself as a changeling. and as someone who is a fat person who represents themself with a pig themed sona. if i talk abt cringeass hollywood blockbusters engaging in High Fantasy Racism i feel like to be fair i kinda have to talk about independent own-voices creators who write stories and make art about their own identities in the lovely language of monstrosity. theres not rly a way to draw a hard line around the former without the risk of catching some of the latter.

so umm as usual i dont rly have a snappy all encompassing answer for how i feel abt this kind of characterization. im simply too much of a Nuance Enjoyer. i do i guess think this is something that generally turns out better when it is someone making art about their own experiences, but also unless i believe minority artists are a monolith, which i dont, i need to accept that artists will inevitably make stuff that is beautiful and resonant to some people and totally repugnant and offensive to others, and that both of those responses can be like totally justified and correct. thats art babey!

anyway slight digression but i think any case where a character feels more like an allegory than a fully fleshed u know Character is gonna flop for me no matter how relatable it is. tbqh, id rather more ppl try and fail to make beautiful grotesque frightening sensually moving monsters out of their lived experiences and their empathetic connections with others than succeed at creating bland toothless universally approachable Good Rep tm. if u know u know. if u feel me u feel me. that is all.

[suntails]

AAA OMG thank you so much for answering my question! ok ok ok so! first up for the fic desires, right out of the gate - I don't like smut (as a sex-repulsed asexual I find reading about it not fun). also I don't like reading whump that much unless it has a good ending. as for not wanted ships, anything is fine unless it's incest or pedophilia. characters/interactions are a bit harder to pin down, but I know I don't want any fics that involve self-inserts, y/n, or ocs as the main focus, I'd much rather be distanced from the story being told than directly involved in it, if that makes sense? I'd like to read something involving Idia or Ortho or any of the Hades dorm (idk its in-universe name) characters - there doesn't seem to be a lot involving them, at least not that I've found yet. stuff involving the octotrio would also be good, love me some angsty merboys. maybe some stuff with Riddle and the other Heartslybule (idk if that's how it's spelled) students too? if you have any fics involving transformation or body-swapping, those are tropes I really like (I'm reasonably sure that at least some of the Diasomnia students have dragon or half-dragon forms but so far I haven't found anything involving them actually transforming?) In addition, what fics involving the Diasomnia students do you think are the best? (since you are the resident expert in that field, 90% is impressive.) thank you again for answering my ask so enthusiastically, I'm sure you'll be a great help. :)

okay cool beans, ty ty!!! hmm i am,,, unfortunately just abt the worst person you could come to for ignihyde or octavinelle stuff, i so rarely click anything from those dorms. regardless, ill give a list of stuff below!! i will add a little description to give u a feel and if it's something u don't vibe with or a ship u don't wanna read, j skip and try something else, hopefully something here will work for u!

And You Think, "No Escape" (ongoing) GEN – i'm a few chapters behind on this one bc life kicked me, but very good gen fic thus far! mainly focused around the previous overblotters in a weird sidequest treasure hunt forced by some bad guys, with trey and cater in the BG tryna help their situation. VERY long chapters and updates very regularly, so would likely provide a good amount of content

Night Raven Kindergarten (ongoing) GEN – cater is the main char, but he and trey are kindergarten teachers for a selection of the cast as kids!! VERY cute and fun, and delves into the kids' lives at home in rly heartfelt ways that hit, the problems feel nuanced and well-written, and the chars all feel so themselves. whitenoface is the author and i like a lot of their work, i'm recing another work from them later on

Briar Scion (ongoing) Idiasil – p long idiasil fic where the story itself is rly what caught my attention, and now im along for the ride. the premise is rly interesting where essentially like,,, nature itself loves silver, and wants to marry him? so nature is encroaching on school turf while interpersonal romance happens around the plot, its a fun concept! yuu is in it in the bg a bit but its not like,, self-insert or OC, so hopefully u won't mind. updates regularly!

when we don't have the words, chocolate can speak volumes (completed) Idiasil – cute, 30k or so idiasil!! largely focuses on the second years as a group working at the mostro lounge, as silver asks for advice from them respectively and idia works up the nerve in the bg to come in to say hi to silver. mostly just a cute silly story, not as intricate a plot but a fun read!

The Queen's Court (completed) Catervil – first of all, azurith is a FANTASTIC writer, and i highly recommend literally anything they've ever written. this rec branches beyond this fic, but this was my start. this covers cater interning for maleficient herself, and then delves into his newfound connection to the draconias while covering fae history and previous war, etc, it's FANTASTIC and this lore is upheld in a lot of their other work. "Enchanted" is another ongoing work by azurith with cater as a diasomnia student, updates regularly and is very good!! azurith is largely a catervil writer but i think their work is far more important than a preference for ship, i'd rec even if u don't care abt catervil

Snow Is Falling (completed) Cater-focused – idk if u can tell but i like cater interacting w diasomnia content, this is where he goes to briar valley for winter break instead of back home! around 15k, just focuses on his interactions with the diasomnia people while staying with lilia and silver, p short and sweet but v nice :D

devoted malediction (orphaned) malledeuce – of all the fics on this list, this is the one ur most likely to skip. i found this on a WHIM while scouring every existing diasomnia ship tag and was so stunned at the audacity of someone to ship malleus and DEUCE, and to write 140k+ words abt it, that i had to read it. i can't explain it with words,,, the writing style reads so differently than anything else i've ever read, it reads as a STYLE rather than simply reading as 'well-written,' it rly kept my attention. essentially, it's a ...human? au? they're coworkers at a game dev studio, they're human but there's still magic, i can't explain it. there's underground plot-shit with the magic factions or whatever that's so interesting, but it IS orphaned so it'll never update again. i'm devastated. i can't sell this fic to anyone bc of the ship and the length but i enjoyed it very deeply and i'll miss it

Fath-- I mean, Lilia (completed) lilia & silver – ALSO by whitenoface, very sweet familial content of them through silver's life. a 10k must-read for a diasomnia fan

Even a Vanrouge Must Rest (completed) lilia & silver – VERY short and VERY sad but i am legally obligated to rec this. i'd be a bad diasomnia fan if i didn't, very heartbreaking and touching story

Crocodile Teeth (completed) Silsebe – sebek overblot story, decent length and p well written, sebek is infuriating which is Correct for sebek and Correct for someone on their way to an overblot. i've read most of magicalfish's work but i can't rec most to u due to nsfw, this is one of the better silsebe fics out there!!!

Just Out of Reach (ongoing) Silsebe – it DOES update, just not on a regular basis. VERY VERY good fic that FEELS slow-burn, it's 50k+ so far and still feels like the build is just starting up well now. essentially, silver and sebek get in a big fight and lilia magically makes them stay side-by-side till they understand each other, so it analyzes how despite their closeness in their upbringings and how they are partners in their roles as malleus's knights, they don't rly get each other yet and need to cultivate their relationship so it doesn't crumble. very nice story thus far and i look forward to updates!!

WHOOOOKAY that's a lot, i actually don't rly use bookmarks bc i'm typically on incognito on my phone, so i may be missing some, but these came to mind based on ur asks!! if u wanted more for ignihyde, octavinelle, or heartslabyul, i'd rec asking someone else bc i'm truly not the best source ^^;

[mcl39]

I think the disproportion in show of affection from lando and carlos comes from the age difference, lando is young, and soaks up attention so he’s being pass around between djs, streamers and close knit friends and just has so many ppls around that for him it’s (just may be) like whtvr, yeah carlos is my friend like many other friends I have.

Carlos being more mature now and centered, more low key, seems to cherish and take care of the ppl he considers close to him, respect is a really big thing to him and so if he respects you, you automatically have a place in his life and would get out of his way (as much as he can) to help I somehow.

Also in the interview he does say that he saw the mercs getting closer and that if they passed lando who has similar tire wear to him, they would def pass him so he decided to help lando and in doing so help himself. I’m not saying that the one behind him being lando didn’t absolutely contribute but he’s also not that consumed by emotion.

oh yea sorry if it sounded if i implied carlos's emotionality clouds his judgement in the car - hes one of the drivers where ive genuinely never seen that happen (and we've all witnessed it with others). its just that i do actually rly like to hear drivers admitting that the way they think inside the car is slightly different to the macho tough utra-rational mentalities a driver is usually expected to present. carlos saying he does treat lando and fernando slightly more gently, lewis in 2018(?) saying he engages w max more carefully during wheel-to-wheels, lando often explicitly mentioning how scared he is in certain situations or at certain tracks (singapore and monaco specifically), etc. i find it refreshing, relatable, and like also very true in a delightful way

aside from that - i did see that interview, and im aware 99% of carlos's strategy was dictated by the circumstances that happened to b behind him, and i do believe he wouldve done that with whoever else wouldve been in p2 if lando wasnt there. that said, i do ALSO believe he thinks its nicer or more special bc lando was the one in p2. thats what i was trying to say

and yea i deffo think carlos and lando treat friendships differently - maybe its stages in life, or personalities, or a combination of the two. carlos has always been big into respect, & i rly think he respects lando a whole bunch, and thats deffo never left him. meanwhile lando - "he’s being pass around between djs, streamers and close knit friends" is v funny and also quite true. i think after the pandemic left him like, quite lonely, and maybe in a bit of a panic abt how lonely he was, he made an effort to solidify an old and trusted group of friends around him, which he's basically now settled into. and now he's in a phase where he's kind of exploring his boundaries beyond that, going on vacations w martin garrix n his friends or whatever. also like, lando is very gen z in ways carlos clearly isnt, and that means a lot of his socialising is done online (to the point where when he was living w max they sometimes texted more than actually talking to each other). so that inherently means that sometimes the friends who have access to landos time and energy arent those he chooses to prioritise, but like those who happen to be online on discord - whether that be angryginge or filly or matt gallagher or bankai or whoever, ykwim (and max) (usually max lmao). which means carlos will naturally have a disconnect w lando in that area

but yea i get what u mean for sure. its also like, 2019-2020, carlos and lando's interactions were not only v much facilitated by them being teammates, but also in huge part filmed or televised, which means that we had so much more of a grasp on what they were like w each other. now its genuinely just guesswork, ykwim

[arolesbianism]

Every now and then I remember that oni in fact will eventually have more lore added and I get so excited and scared for a moment and then I remember that it could take months until we see any of that and I proceed to forget abt it again and the cycle repeats

[jackienautism]

Charlie is so shitty to Erin - his fucking attitude to her in Abysmal - like treating her like she’s his fucking assistant when she’s not and there’s a decision later on where Erin can make a choice that kills him and people are like she is THE WORST and it’s like she’s bad for?? Having feelings about someone whose done shitty things to her and makes a choice that like when you play - it’s like you get why she would think the way she does - it’s like when Ashley snaps and closes the door on Chris kinda deal ya know ? I’m so sorry for ranting I fucking hate him and like people who hate Erin are his number 1 stans

OH SHIT is that so? i had literally no idea 😭😭 i havent seen anyone hate on either so that's very interesting to me.... but then again i havent rly engaged w/ the fandom having not played the game yet. but . yeah. yikes. the most i know about TDIM is that ? there's photography involved? i think? and there's a serial killer trying to kill their little group? but other than that.... i know Nothin

i had no idea that charlie was shitty to erin ): and it SUUUUCKS that of course the same thing happens to her that happened to ashley in terms of snapping... after you know... chris basically attempted to kill her Twice... i dont necessarily think abt those moments w/ ash and chris very much if im being honest but YEAH . i think she has every right to do what she did. plus, to me, its funny as hell. yeah its fucked up, but its hilarious. SO YEAH i had no idea theres a similar situation w/ erin and charlie. if charlie is as shitty to erin as you say he is, then YEAH i dont blame erin for potentially making a choice that gets him killed lmao. esp if he's been nothing but crappy to her. she has every right to be upset and also snap

its funny how i hear NOTHING abt the guys doing shitty things. actually no its not. like. all ive ever seen for this this game is that theyre a little fucked up found family. but is that really true? esp if charlie treats erin like shit? how does erin even view charlie? does she express disdain for him over how he treats her? or is she one of those ppl who like just let ppl walk all over her? bc shes just too Kind to actually stand up for herself and overall just avoids confrontation? IDK MAN!!!!! having thoughts right now

DONT APOLOGIZE!!!!!! i very much appreciate you telling me this, in fact, it gets me to want to play the game even more so i can not wait to see what happens in general

still know nothing abt erin but jamie and i shall be her number one defenders!!!!!!! and mark and kate too if they wanna join (i know nothing abt their dynamics)

[nuclearpoweredsniper]

i don’t have a particular opinion about the michael jackson situation because i don’t really know enough about it, but i’m VERY curious; why do you have such strong opinions about it? /gen /lh

OMG... omg youre my best friend now anon. thank you so much for asking and being interested it genuinely makes me rly happy.

i have strong opinions abt it bc those allegations ruined his life and ultimately ended up killing him, and they were ALL completely false. in both the 1993 and the 2003 trials, there was not only zero evidence found whatsoever indicating he did anything untoward, but there was actually evidence indicating that the parents were financially motivated liars and just wanted michael to cut them a check. theres audio from a phone call between evan chandler (father of the alleged 1993 victim, jordan chandler) and jordans step father where he straight up says shit like "if i go thru with this, ill get everything i want, he'll never sell another record". the arvisos (2003 trial) were known scammers, gavin arvisos (alleged victim) mother completely made up the story that he had cancer and was also caught trying to extort other celebrities. this isnt even the half of it.

the child abuse allegations are completely founded on lies, and those lies ended up destroying michael jacksons life. and to me its a disgusting display of just how selfish and greedy humans can be, bc they saw this man who opened his own home to families all over the world, who gave what he had to help others, and they used his trusting nature against him. he was a good man whos only real fault was that he was naive and thought the world had the same good intentions as he did and i think its utterly foul to go around calling him a pedo, when hes not even here to defend himself, bc of the bullshit the media peddaled. i HIGHLY reccomend the documentary square one, last i knew it was free on youtube and it talks all abt this stuff, and was made by michaels nephew taj.

tldr: guilters are my only DNI bc i think you have to be willfully ignorant and even cruel to believe he ever harmed those children after being presented with the facts. in the 14 years ive been a fan, guilters have only ever been bullies who dont actually care abt the safety of children, they just like picking on a dead man and his fans. if they cared, they wouldnt crack the jokes they do at the expense of victims of CSA. ive been harassed by groups of them before, they mocked me for having substance abuse issues and sent me horrible memes making jokes abt him assaulting children. imo theyre not good people and i dont want them near me.

[straycalamities]

24 for kian, ace, and daisy waisy

What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they’d made those decisions?

AH! the nearly-uncomfortable au strikes again

kian: hrmm...im trying to think...i cant imagine a world where he doesnt eventually leave his dad... like...is it even feasible to live ur whole life in those conditions and not try to get away. theyre just..UNLIVEABLE. if he didnt leave he'd just DIE

tho...even if he just left later that'd make a huge impact on him i think...he'd be soooooooo cold. he wouldn't even have the unserious funny haha nihilism he has now. he'd just be an angry dick that's entirely dead inside. he would survive doing the bare minimum bc he wouldn't think about how life could get better than that. everyone would avoid him besides the naïve "ooo sexy man" initial response but just one interaction would have them being like nah, actually,

ace: oogh, there's so many decisions he made that i could unmake, oogh. delicious.

if he decided to not help his dad financially as a kid. oh thats a big one. oh its so big the more i think abt it. holy shit. that's what formed his entire personality. all his interests and everything. (special mentions for if he decided to not befriend jack or decided not to pursue his dreams so hard)

but i wanna do this one

so. honestly? ace would probably be taken away from his dad if it got worse. even if CPS fucking sucks there's nooo way i think it'd be allowed to go further downhill. (otherwise they'd be literally on the streets and THEN ace would get taken away? either way) and i honestly cant see ace getting adopted, unfortunately.

his dad, even if he didnt spoil him with STUFF, he spoiled his attitude. it's like...probably some way of like making up for not being able to get ace anything is to let him act however he wanted. so it'd take some reeeeeeal patient parent(s) to wanna take ace in because he wouldn't have the mind to hide it at that point. ace would maybe eventually learn to chameleon his behavior? but i think by the time he learned it in the foster system it'd be too late bc..ppl dont tend to adopt teenagers either

god this is making my brain gears TURN that one decision rly is everything

i think that his growing up would be pretty shit. bc now im thinking abt the differences between this and cult au ace AUGH. cult au ace at least had a stable home with a turn-around of income even if it wasnt from him specifically busting his ass to earn the money (well in a way it still is, but, different)

ace, but...jaded O_O he wouldn't evolve that charming personality. i think he'd lean more into the class clown personality. but it's not as endearing bc everyone sees him as a girl. and i know from experience, girl class clowns are just...weird-girls w Issues to everyone. its not endearing like it is w boy class-clowns to other ppl. he'd still have like..pretty strategic ideas for situations and stuff bc that's inherently him. but..i dont think it'd get him as far as it normally would

so he'd be so..lonely lmao. like regular ace also has issues w loneliness but its way more complex. this would just be straight up. fkn lonely. and straightforward misery from it. maybe he'd have some goons or smth at some point? but idk if he could ever truly connect w them unless they were also from the foster system.

cuz see im thinking that normal ace learns everything he does bc he makes the decision that he HAS to. he has to to survive so it all becomes this like...ok i do this or i starve. whereas an ace that's either decided its hopeless, not his responsibility, or just didnt think to do it, wouldnt have that same direct "inspiration" riding his ass. so his social skills would form in a rly weird way based mostly off how much of a brat he is and how much he desires everyone to like him (which is also true of any other ace but this one has a like..feral desperation to it in comparison. like a stray animal more than..someone who grew up too fast and forgot to make real friends along the way <- the usual)

he'd still have these like lofty dreams and i think he'd still want to chase them somehow, but he wouldn't have the connections nor the charm normal ace has. he'd be, at most, some stand-up comedian who performs nights at some local venue and he's just an opener for the main act. maybe he'd sing and put in the work to be good at it, but a big part of this kinda career is the ppl you know so :pensive emoji:

god this ace is the epitome of sopping wet meow meow. what a miserable little man. so richie tozier-coded but more of a failure bc he doesnt have a group of friends to bond w over other-dimensional clown trauma

anyways i think that's enough rambling abt this. i could go a hundred different directions with it from here and i cant choose one. so. there u go. something to chew on. (god he wouldnt care abt sleight-of-hand shit or magicians or card tricks or any of that. WHO WOULD HE BE??????????? maybe he'd hold onto the bar interest in general? like billiards n stuff? oh my god he'd be more likely to be an alcoholic like his father NOOOOOOO)

after that daisy's gonna seem so lack-luster LMAO

daisy: the thing w daisy is i dont rly have a set story in my head for her rly? i kinda just have..scenes and things i like her doing. ive never sat and gave her a like...biography

so idk what decision she'd make that i could undo and have it make an interesting change...if she didnt decide to sing, she'd be an actress. if she didn't decide to kill ppl, she'd just be focusing on her dreams full-time. and so none of that's super interesting to get into uh...

if she didnt decide to push being famous, she'd probably just be happy being some homemaker or smth. someones trophy wife or...a singing waitress or waffle house worker idk.

even with nyanpire daisy its more like...her big decisions is to not...die. uh. (bc shes miserable as a vampire) so if i reverse that then shes just dead LFJKSDJF

so idk 8_8 thank u for including her but IDK WHAT TO SAY!!!!!!!!

[ranboo5]

sorry this ended up being so long and its a little over the place

i thought they really nailed the atmosphere from episode 1 and i was srly impressed w the set design and the pretty seamless transition between live bits and prerecorded bits (felt a bit like a pre-rendered cutscene in a viddy game) and the general gamey aspects of the audience participation. my first first first impression of the entire thing was i was reminded of like you know those kids shows that are live action and theres an grownup guy whos host and theyre walking around in weird surreal rooms that arent real rooms but just a set? do you get what i mean.

i get that whole point was like well the "show" is show and its meant to be off and have this like vibe of shallow entertainment but its like when the large chunks of the actual series is That it wasnt always super interesting to watch unless there was something else going on? but like conceptually i really liked all the different segments of the "show". theres almost an aspect to them where in some of them the entertainment comes out of like almost degrading and dehumanizing the participants? could be wrong. anyway no matter how entertaining i found those bits, having 2/3 of the series be That does make really good buildup for ep3 i dont think i wouldve enjoyed ep3 alone without having seen ep1 and ep2. like them just walking around on these like sets they had been in prior but now theyre empty and dark. and the sets on their own were already a bit freaky and ominious but with all the silliness on top you sort of buy it, but now theyre empty like FUCK. seeing the ep 1 set from that perspectove for example fucked w me. i rly like ep3.

i liked the little nod to jerma dollhouse. and i love how they make audience participation feel increasingly more sinister during the course of the series . i mean it was already sinister in jerma dollhouse because jerma dollhouse is a riff on sims and SIMS is sinister because you get to play god with little guys and thats on paper a little fucked up. i guess the audience has way less power in genloss but theyre sort of complicit in everything and almost contributing to the spectacle just by virtue of being there and watching? idk. thinking of ranboo yelling stop watching into charlies stream and throwing the camera into the floor. maybe thats the point

i havent thought tooo hard about but but i think the overall recurring theme feels slightly on the nose like the part where ranboo walks into the food court and its just this row of streamers it feels like just slightly a little bit corny. but then on the other hand id rather have that than like it being so ambiguous that the casual viewer would not Get it do you get what i mean.

umm i think my biggest consistent negative thing was the improv between characters felt a little chaotic and overwhelming and it seemed like some participants werent really responding to each other as much as just Saying things. and i think given the many different kinds of Situations and Predicaments they were in i was a bit disappointed that there wasnt as much good like not banter but back and forth as i wouldve hoped. and then i liked even less when there were too many streamers in one scene at once it was very overwhelming and chaotic and it seemed like everyone was just fighting for screentime (maybe this is not true but this is the impression i got). im fine w the acting tho i think it was suited for the story they wanted to tell. as always blown away by ranboos profiecience at playing a miserable sopping guy at the end.

the standout star of the series was the visuals goddd the sets and the cinematography and the way they utilize the entire space so well.like every single hallway and door . and like idk what to call them the like Guys with the masks just pouring out of these corners is so freaky and then the Wire tv creechers are so and its so actually i have one thing visualswise that i thought abt that stuck with me with like again idk if they have a name but the guys with the masks in general. ESPECIALLY that moment in the end when ranboo presses that red button and they all just kind of stop and shut down and just stand there eerily . VISUALLY it reminds me so much of magrittes golconda and i just keep thinking about it. like the way theyre all spaced and just standing it almost feels intentional maybe not referencing that work specifically but def trying to evoke a similar feeling. do you see the vision

idk. Thats my thoughts.i have not been super into the whole arg aspect and the binary code and wingdings and i have not dived super deep into like the hashtag LORE these r just my own observations and thoughtse. yayy

THIS IS AWESOME TBH.... I DIDN'T MAKE THE MAGRITTE CONNECTUION BUT YUOU'RE SO RIGHT AND IT WORKS SAUR FUCKING WELL LIKE WHAT IF I EXPLODE

I think I had a lot of patience for the show:tm: stuff because I was paying (probably too much/reading Into It) attention to the moments of like . Shaky camerawork or weird handling of confessionals. That whole energy that Showfall is not an actual media company but something playing at being a media company. IS SO

[superdeluxeaverage]

didnt do fuckall today which is okayyy just layed in bed listening to records n CDs n thats all idk i handled it super well but been thinking abt my ex-friend past two days and stuff i felt like yesterday despite everything if they apologized id like make amends n tell them ive missed them and everything but today i was thinking how unhealthy of a thing that would be to do yesterday night rly like for a moment my brain was like "message them how dissapointed u are w/ them! and how sad it makes u!" n obv didnt do that but like the thought was there and that theyd prob respond maybe and id make things easy for them to apologize after everything but obv i should not even be thinking abt them at all n that way given the way they treated me. it sounds like a weird revenge mindset type thing but that day they came into where i work they went to take money out of the atm we have at the store when i was up at the register and i saw their face and idk sounds fucked up to say but like i swear i saw a weakness in their eyes like i mean when they were walking out i could tell they had noticed i was there and was like purposefully avoiding looking up where the registers and i was. which is kinda idk funny cause yesterday when their friends were shopping there i was doing the same avoiding making eye contact w/ them its weird those two friends of hers i have no beef w/ and actually am thankful to them and owe them (theyre married and the one friends husband hooked me up w/ a job interview at the record store that i didnt get but getting the interview alone im super grateful for) but like i dont even kno wtf to say to them cause idk its such a weird fucked situation where the mutual friend ghosts u so ur like not even sure what every1 else even thinks abt u so like i just act like i dont kno them tho his wife had been shopping where i work a few times and like was nice to me like first few times i rang her up she also acted like she didnt kno me just cause its a real awkward situation for both of us but then the last time i had rung her up at the end she was like a v different way like "thank you so much you have a great day :)" which is normal for customers to say OBVIOUSLY but the way she said it like knowing that we both followed each on other on insta b4 like it obv meant something else idk how to phrase it LOL but like she said it in a way that sounded genuine and not just a regular formality or maybe the fact that she said it all after not saying it meant something different so that was atleast good to experience like idk made me feel like a mature adult and not childish. that was forever months n months ago but she hadnt went there til three days ago or whatever when her and her husband went so yea i dont kno if she didnt go cause she knows that im no longer friends with the once mutual friend we shared or just cause im p sure she lives downtown so its a v long unnecesarry out of the way drive to go there but yea i felt awkward when her and her husband where there cause we all have to pretend like we dont kno each others unless someones says something addressing it but i dont kno if they saw me well they def did when i went up to the register cause i could tell she was looking at me or glanced n i was like awkies mode just focusing on who i was ringing up instead. BUT ANYWAYS but when it was my ex-friend and her close friend that i also had met i didnt wanna weasel away so i walked right by them when i was moving stuff out n then went up the register when i saw their was a line even tho they were in line well i didnt try to actually confront them or say anything and i did wait until they were both being rung up to go ring ppl up so that i wouldnt ring them up but like i also didnt just hide awkwardly or anything. buuut yea

[icharchivist]

surprisingly i come to your askbox bearing a3-related thoughts instead of gbf. crazy i know. anyways i finished going thru conquering misoshiosa island!! my thoughts abt it are quite scattershot but i had a lot of fun. as i mentioned previously i almost went thru this event before starting autumn loll. was fun going thru the first bit again with autumn knowledge in my pocket now. the more i hear muku talk the more i want to sit and discuss manga recs with him. like in my heart i just KNOW he read basara. i've read a pretty large amount of shoujo so i think we'd get along.

it was pretty obvious muku and omi were gonna be the pair for this cg and like. i'm pleased about it. they're just such a good pair conceptually when u consider, like, definitions of masculinity and how it might apply to both of them.

azami regarding kazunaris flyers: damn. this is, like, needlessly impressive. what’s that quote about middle schoolers having the most accurate insults. this wasn’t really an insult but it really. Strikes Deep in a way only a middle schooler is capable of.

in any other situation i would gently tell muku that he doesn't need to panic about every eventuality BUT in this case i knew sakyo was planning on leaving them to fend for themselves so i was very glad for muku and omi's preparation. i think its really fun they watched that movie together.

kazu making an itinerary for literally just the trip to the island is sooo funny to me. like he must've known something was a little messed up. do u think sakyo gave him the info and kazunari looked at it, a little miffed that izumi's first instablam post was about spring and winter having a great time without them (and masumi liked the post first) and went. eh. sakyo can have his chaos.

juza bringing chocolate is very juza but him calling the chocolate "rations" is how u know muku and juza are related. love natsugumi teasing tenma abt being sleepless for this trip but like genuinely. its nice that he gets to like. Go On Trips now. like thats a thing he and misumi can do and its not rly something they got to do when they were younger!

i'm going to gloss over the bit with the monkeys where misumi can talk to them bc. i really.... they even acted to the guests in part 11 i do not think this had to happen. normally im all for a3 magic shenanigans so i dont know why this one didnt gel for me lol. anyways PSA wild monkeys can fuck u up so do be careful. don't get aggressive with them. i'm not an expert or anything tho.

the fact that running on the beach is part of their training makes me think sakyo has read knb. doesnt muku give sakyo manga recs? was that not a thing? anyways i think sakyo would read knb. he seems like the type of person to read it and be like. i dont think real high schoolers can go invisible or shoot sparks out of their eyes when they're focused. but i hope he enjoyed it. speaking og knb and a3 a hurrah for team friendship. i saw ur post abt it and like. i want a sticker thats like. I Survived That One Poll Where People Were Really Mean To Muku And Yuki For No Reason. muku and momoi was such a wonderful win to see with the art and propaganda and everything. and i was really rooting for momoi since her name literally comes from momoiro. i didnt actually know there was a knb a3 alliance until this poll but im very glad for its existence bc i love both things very much and theyre both very very dear to me.

was never worried for muku and izumi in the cave bc i Knew muku was doing a hansel & gretel with the way he was acting and i was glad to see it was buttons and not food so omi found them. i think its really cute that not only did omi rush off while people tried to stop him, a bunch of other people were ALSO trying to rush off and were probably stopped. makes sense it was omi who was able to actually do it tho. hes omi after all. look at how he handled banri and juza from day one. him showing muku the flower was so nice and the cg was SO CUTE like. look at those sparkling eyes!!! i also love queen of the night flowers... and im glad they got to go to a resort on the last day.

now some misc notes:

theres this part where taichi lies down in the sand and kumons like oh thats so nice! and lies down with him and i winced so hard like noooo dont u know... sand is just like glitter (Gets Everywhere)

i also just really like that muku is. for all that he berates himself for being weak and he wants to get like more stronger and prince-like and heroic etc. he very much doesn’t seem to correlate that with how he Looks Physically? (see: how he treats yuki) and like. that means so much to me.

finally i saw tenma being annoyed on the ship and island and stuff and. i just Know he complained during the trip and also to everyone when they got back but a year later he'll do an interview for some character that's very woodsy or like he acts as a castaway or something. and i just know he'll talk about how he was able to play the character well due to his own experience of staying on a deserted island… he'll say something abt how it was enriching and taught him a lot about coexisting with nature and some bs like that etc. and after watching that interview everyone in a3 will lovingly make fun of him for it.

YOO HEY THERE! always a pleasure, always no worries <333 a touch of cutesy a3 in the curse that is my inbox.

True i remember you almost read this one by accident ahah, at least now it's all in order again. You're SO right about Muku, he'd be a delightful conversation partner about manga and especially about shoujo. I'm sure you too would get along.

Also very good point for the CG yeah, they're conceptually a very good duo on that regard, they had such a sweet dynamic this whole time, and it's soft to see them with especially just this soft over a flower.

AKJDFMLDKMFLFD Azami and Yuki fit that description so well and now there's two of them. rip Kazunari.

Ah yeah, Paranoia is Paranoia until the day you're actually right. That's Muku right here. And honestly at this point, is it overthinking or is it a correct assessment of the type of person Sakyo is. Food for thoughts. But yess it's so nice they spent some time together to prepare it all.

FOR KAZU IT'S SO FUNNY. i have to believe that, yes, indeed. Especially also with like, how close Kazunari and Azuma can be as the two travellers type, and he knows perfectly what Azuma pulled last training camp. I trust Kazunari in putting two and two together while preparing his traveler log. Like he must have known. I believe in him.

"juza bringing chocolate is very juza but him calling the chocolate "rations" is how u know muku and juza are related." that's such a cute way to put it. YEAH IT'S SO SWEET FROM NATSUGUMI. and yeah i'm also team "always crying when Tenma and Misumi do anything that qualifies as a normal experience" considering their specific bagage about how little they could experience of the world bc of their families.

That's a fair point for the monkeys. It was totally buckwild but yeah this might have been a little too much in term of suspension of disbelief. taking notes for how to behave with monkeys in real life, we never know.

Oh my god a3xknb alliance real and it was thanks to Sakyo all along. And yeah Muku does give Sakyo manga rec. Also Kumon is really big on sports manga and him and Muku talks about this common interest a lot, so if it's not Muku, it's Kumon's fault, but also, i want to say it's Muku because it goes with OUR alliance type. Sakyo would indulge because oh well!

And god right. Team friendship…. and right :sob: remember when people were so mean for no reason. for the sake of cartoon's dogs. :(. but the alliance this competition around was so wholesome. i'm glad you've learnt of the alliance thanks to it now! it's honestly such a sweet phenomena i love it so much. I'm so glad you like those two so much that it makes it more worthwhile <3

Muku is such a clever survivalist on that regard. and Omimi finding them was so nice. the fact so many people wanted to rush to them really is amazing. And agreed, the CG and them being able to rest up really made it worthwhile <3

wow speaking about sand like a true Anakin Skywalker type… gotta give it to him. But yeah Sand does get everywhere. also speaking of sands, remember in the beachside event where Muku and Juza have to talk out a misunderstanding on the beach a way back? Muku then mentions "next time we should bring Kumon on the beach with us". It made me so emotional that the Summer/Autumn training camp was on the beach like that because i was just thinking about how much Muku and Juza wanted to have Kumon with them there….

agreed on Muku. And he's so cool this way :( that's a reason i really love Muku a lot.

and i lOVE what you say about Tenma. He'd complain so much on the spot, but give it a bit and he'll brag about how cool of an experience it was (especially since he was with his buddies) and everyone at Mankai would tease him for it. It fits them so perfectly.

as always, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts on the event <3333 next is Guy's chapter!!! be hyped ;D

Take care and it's always a pleasure <333

[yuukei-yikes]

ok ok first of all Really Really love your harutakas and your shinayas and your kidomomos and since im pretty sure you've been asked abt your hrtk and shinaya headcanons already i just wanna ask you about any kdmm headcanons you may have 🧐

i love kidomomo so fucking much ilove them

i think theyre stuck in a situationship for a long time. bc useless lesbians in silly harmless drama is always funny. thing is momo WANTS to say something but kido gets so flustered everytime she brings it up they fucking disappear. kido hearing momos confession after theyve faded wawawa and momo thinks kido maybe didnt hear and just sighs but KIDO HEARD bro... they heard u....

momo isnt sure if kido likes her back but she still wants to say it bc momo rly isnt the kind to stress abt waaaa but what if they dont like me back. shes like this is what i feel and im gonna tell everyone 💗 which also means everyone in the dan knows not only bc its fucking obvious but like momo told everyone😭 the only one surprised is shintaro. but for like a second bc hes like YOURE GAY??wait i just fucking heard myself of course youre gay

kido is like super fucking embarrassing abt the way they run from momo like kano and seto who know them rly well think they look like a clown bc of how flustered momo makes them but momo always receives it like wow kido is SOOOOO cool all cold and calculating :3 something something kidos self steem issues, cant believe someone would like them, especially someone so bubbly who could probably get anyone they want

if it goes for long enough momo would notice shes being avoided lol and shes like i just dont know what to do yknow and hibiyas like why are u telling Me this.

kano seto and mary. tease kido to hell and back. they are the most insufferable people ever. kano is annoying on purpose but seto and mary are more like omg u gotta be honest💗 omg let urself be happy 💗 kano and kido probably have a nasty fight abt kano telling kido theyre self sabotaging and kido being like looks whos fucking talking LOLLLL also momomary best friends forever bffs necklaces and matching phone backgrounds etc etc mary keeps accidentally creating tension and situations bc she keeps accidentally slipping up telling kido and momo something one said about the other.

its very much...a cute thing like a friend group where 2 friends like each other and everyone knows and is rooting for them but they keep prolonging it and its at most frustrating and at best entertaining. its cute, its rly one of those very normal teenage things they get to do after everything they go through. they end up together tho and in the future are the no kids double income aunts with the best presents etc etc u know how it goes

i think the only ones out of the loop who thought they were already together are haruka and shintaro. yuukei quartet is kinda out of it bc theyre a bit older and kinda didnt care for the little silly drama and have problems of their own LOL but ayano and takane were filled in bc as a big sister!!! ayano has to know whats going on!! (insane abt the idea of her and shintaros siblings dating. probably gives kido a lot of actually useful advice abt being honest and not run away from feelings) (sort of a takane talk 2.0) and takanes like.... gossip central this bitch knows everything about everyone not that they do anything with that info to help anyone.

once dating theyd have a lot of discussions about pda. momo is pda inc and kido wants to die whenever momo even presses their shoulders together in public. they make it work tho also once together the dan nearly throws a fucking party like FINALLY