#its okay if etho doesnt want to talk about it

[lorephobic]

crying laughing at etho being so embarrassed by his kakashi skin that he won’t even tell bdubs what its from

[insomnya777]

joel etho single dads au .........

[rambles-about-minecraft-ocs]

theres something so funny to me when hermits are talking about redstone and theyre like "and then theres an etho hopper clock here-"

like. of course they use etho hopper clocks, itd be weirder if they actively avoided using it, considering its like. a redstone thingy that is very useful and still works even after all this time, and from what i understand it was like. a pretty big deal in terms of useful things you could do with redstone back when he first made it because it opened up ways to do even more things with redstone

and like for the most part theyve probably been referring to that particular thing as an etho hopper clock for longer than theyve even known etho personally, considering the etho hopper clock predates his joining hermitcraft by at least 1-2 years, and several of the other hermits joining hermitcraft by even more. so of course they still call it that

on a related note, most of them likely had at least heard of etho before meeting him, even if they didnt personally watch him (tho i know some did) since he was an old school minecraft youtuber. like his original season 1 of "lets play minecraft" started when minecraft was so new it hadnt been officially released yet. literally back in minecraft alpha. he was a minecraft youtuber OG

so with those two points taken into consideration it completely makes sense that "etho hopper clock" is something ingrained into the terminology of anyone that does stuff with redstone somewhat regularly. theres no reason it wouldnt be

but when you put it into contrast with like. their actual interactions with etho. it kind of cracks me up???

its like. in my head the vibes are this: imagine building something and being like "okay guys, for this machine we need to use an archimedes screw, which is named of course after its inventor archimedes, a man so genius that to this day he is regarded as one of the most brilliant inventors and mathematicians to ever walk this earth" and then like thirty minutes later you go to a restaurant and you see archimedes, of classic antiquity fame, trying to eat a sandwich but the ingredients keep falling out in increasingly comedic manners. so you of course call him pathetic to his face, and then ask if he wants to try out your new totally-not-a-scam product that you carry on you at all times for opportunities like these. and for some reason he doesnt just say yes, but buys two

[definitelynotshouting]

the hashtag about the life series making you anxious while its ongoing is so real btw

OKAY! so my friend and i have been talking about the scarian dynamics in the life series for a while and while a lot of it REALLY hurts me (i have a very weak angst heart) ive discovered some aspects about this current dynamic that im absolutely chewing on.

SO! In limited life there was a family dynamic where Scar was the son of Cleo and Etho, and i can still see that playing out in secret life! Allow me to explain:

In the most recent episode Scar had to do the opposite of what everyone told him to do, so when grian asked him if he wanted to team, his response was very weird and "avoid"ey. Grian brought up MULTIPLE TIME in his video how "scar got really weird about teaming with me" (which to me totally reads as Grian overthinking the situation and thinking Scar doesnt like him anymore)

So anyway, Grian asks to use the enchanter and Scar says that Etho has it and he trusts Etho with it because "Etho is honest". Grian goes to Etho and Cleo and asks to use the enchanter only to find out that its NOT scar's enchanter. Etho says something along the lines of "well I dont know why Scar thinks hes in charge of our enchanter but yes we do have one" which TOTALLY sounded to me like a parent who's adult child feels a sense of entitlement to things they share with their parents (Ex. an adult child calling their parent's car theirs even though they share it).

Etho lets Grian use the enchanter and starts asking him how he's been and if hes been making any friends and the WHOLE interaction between Grian, Cleo, and Etho feels like parents trying to make conversation with their son's ex or something

AND THEN CLEO AND ETHO TELL GRIAN THEY HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH SPACE IN THEIR HOUSE AND THAT HE CAN STAY WITH THEM IF HE WANTS BECAUSE HES TALKING ABOUT HOW HES ALL ALONE AND HE HATES WHERE HES LIVING AND AND AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Grian also brings up how he asked to be friends with Scar and "he got really strange about it.." and Etho went "yep that sounds about right" and Cleo agreed- WHICH SOUNDS LIKE PARENTS BEING LIKE "oh we know our son still loves his ex and everytime he talks about their interactions its awkward" LIKE THEY KNOW THAT ITS SO AWKWARD BETWEEN GRIAN AND SCAR AND THEYRE AAAAAAAAH

anyway the whole interaction to me seems like Scar's parents trying to welcome Grian back into their lives as part of the family in the hopes of setting the two of them up again because they love them both and can see how silly theyre being with all this miscommunication

do you hear me screaming

-Binge Reader

WOXNWKDNWKDNEKDNKWJDKEK WHEEEEEEEZE oh my gods i heard some stuff abt the scarian interactions this last episode and that grian teamed up with cletho but AKBDWKDNKADKSK THATS SO FUNNY HELP,,,,,,, "that sounds about right" ETHO WHAT ARE YOU TELLINGG USSSSSSSS ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ /SILLY

This is hysterical thank u for telling me abt whats going on AKDNQKSNWKSJDBWKS gods,,,,, i cant wait to hear abt what happens next week this is insane

[joelywoely]

EHAT SPECIES IS GRIAN. IS HE A FUCKING RAINWING/RAIN HYBRID I;M GOIJNG OT K?ILY LO U

sorry i got excited i'm very excited. i'm very excited at this i loooove wings of fire so much what the fuck do you mean someone else out there has thought abt making a life series wof au.

i have a million thoughts about what species and hybrids they'd be but i don't think this is the place to share that..... Sigh........ grian is so Insanely sandwing coded. though. need to say this. need to spread and share my truth GOOD DAY! I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR ABSOLUTELY EVERY DROP OF INFORMATION YOU MAY HAVE ABOUT THIS AU!

HI!

okay so grians species is actually kinda complicated

he was born as game watcher, an animus nightwing working under his mentor, secret keeper. he helps to organize tournaments between tribes on the mainland, tournaments that frequently end up going to death, a bit like scarlet's battle arena. though, one day, he got too attached to a participant in the game, which is a big no no and secret keeper cursed him to become a "lazy, bumbling rainwing for the rest of his days"

he moves permanently to the mainland and into the rainforest, plotting his vengeance and trying to find out how to cure himself.

since he looks like a very. weird rainwing though jimmy and joel end up finding him and trying to recruit him to their little hybrid clique.

jimmy is a rainsea hybrid named canary and joel is a rainmud hybrid named leaf. they're kinda the weirdos of the rainwings and, because grian is 1. generally bad at "acting like a rainwing" and 2. looks like a weird sort of hybrid of some kind, they take him under their wings for a while.

while out one night, trying to find that portal to the nightwing island, grian is ambushed.

when he wakes up hes in the scorpion den, ran by cleo, a skysand hybrid named cobra. she gets to be nicknamed king cobra cause I think its it's fun. turns out theres a small bounty on his head, but cleo will spare him (for now) out of good faith, them both being hybrids and all.

scar is the one who kidnapped him. formerly named sahara, scar was renamed after gaining all his battle wounds. hes like the quibli to cleos thorn. scar doesnt exactly appreciate cleos generosity, but he doesnt do anything further. hes just tasked with showing grian around, hes essentially his assigned best friend. neither of them care to much for it.

one day the skywings raid the scorpion den, lead by martyn, who is named general mars. grians wing gets injured in his and scars escape, cleo is captured.

scar wasnt able to fly anyway, but he refuses to leave grian, carrying him away on his back.

they are left stranded in the desert and become closer, grian still trying to find a cure for his curse. jimmy and joel are still looking for him.

some extra things:

tango is an overcooked skywing with too much fire, though he isnt with the skywing kingdom, hes actually imprisoned there. his name is blaze. also gay rancher love

lizzie is the seawing queen who's name is axolotl. she and jimmy are half siblings and shes been searching for him since his egg was stolen from the hatchery. his egg was yellow, btw, so shes looking for a yellowy seawing. his name was going to be cod. she and joel meet and fall in love at first fight.

scott is one of her ambassadors and friends, helping her try to find jimmy. his name is seafoam.

pearl is grians sister, her name is, of course, pearlescentmoon, named that mostly just because she was born on a bright bright night. she can see into the future and she desperately wants to return her brother to a normal life.

cub is an icewing named polar (last name bear lol. cuz. cub.) and he and scar met when they were both taken as prisoners. they're besties but dont talk often. etho is also an icewing, his name is icicle.

ren is the skywing king, his name is just red. they call him the red king.

this is fairly new so I haven't done much work on it this is kinda all I got rn

also take some doodles

that jimmy is before I decided hed be a searain hybrid.

I'll totally take alternate hybrid ideas btw!! names too, lol

[stitchthesewords]

📒📓📔📕📖📗📘📙📚 have all the book emojis for the ask game go wild w as many as u want :3 (why r there so many book emojis tho. who needs all these books.)

(the answer to your book emoji question is me. I do. I use them to organize drafts in scrivener)

HOHOHOHO OKAY LET ME GO DO SOME DIGGING

Okay so first one. Herobrine haunting hermitcraft. So my idea was like - HC has a lot of old school and new school minecrafters playing together, which i distinguish from each other entirely based on vibes. Like, grian, mumbo, pearl, gem, team zit - they all feel more new school to me whereas like scar, keralis, cleo, joe, beef, etho, bdubs all feel more old school - sometimes because theyve played mc for a long time and sometimes just kind of because. ignore this - the only real important thing is that I think the more 'old school' players are familiar with herobrine as a concept in this au [I think all of the hermitcrafts probably know about herobrine irl so] whereas if the new schoolers know about herobrine at all it's as like, a ghost story. A myth.

So herobrine possessing the server and the hermits having to band together to defeat him and get their server back. And like, Herobrine goes from old school to new school mechanics. He adapts, learns to use a shield, can critical hit, all that jazz. thats all I have for this one but. uh. god. I love herobrine <- has been familiar w minecraft since infdev.

THEN there's my Vault Hunters based AU that's Polytechs that I...need to actually play vault hunters to PROPERLY right but the idea is - Iskall is a Vault Hunter and Mumbo and Grian alike. His basemates. He goes out and hunts vaults, they do everything to keep he base running so that he can keep going out to hunt vaults. Mumbo and Iskall designed the redstone and mechanical contraptions in the base together, Grian built the base around it - and they sometimes help out by reading maps to him over communicators, or prepping for him to come back hard. And I have this basic idea that something is like, threatening their world and that's why Iskall needs the vault artifacts - I have this idea that Poltechs is in one world bubble, the Create guys are in another world bubble, and then Imp and Skizz's skyblock is another world bubble. There are other vault Hunters [AKA the people on the VH SMP which i DESPERATELY want to watch oh my god,,,] unknowingly working against Iskall. Iskall maybe had a sort of Matrix-saw-outside-the-bubble moment where he realized they're all being like puppeted to be distracted from like, a world eater or something so its Polytechs save the day w VH mechanics.

THIS ONE,,,,, IS MORE A CONCEPT THAN AN IDEA BUT Etho & Mumbo & Xisuma as Old Gods - Herobrine, basically, with Grian & Pearl & Jimmy as New Gods - the watchers, and Iskall as like The Creator

Also I have a treebark like. darkish romance beauty and the beast meets buzzfeed unsolved style idea where, basically. Martyn can see ghosts but not really interact with them. He doesn't know how to get rid of it, he's gotten used to it. Ren is a werewolf King who has some sort of violent entity haunting his castle. He kidnaps Martyn because he hears as far as 'Martyn can see ghosts' and decides that can probably help. Martyn, again, doesnt know how to get rid of them but also the one is Ren's castle is weird because it can talk to him and interact with him and it looks kind of like Ren and huh- and basically. Basically. The two of them trying to stop this violent entity that swears it knows Ren, slowly but surely falling in love.

[bigb-enthusiast]

Like okay i’ll include scott and bigb. Cause i have reasoning but its shorter and some stuff is copy paste

Bigb and scott have NEVER had ONE good interaction. Its either neutral or negative. Through every season theyd interact, DL bigb complimented scott but took back his words

Cleo and Bigb. Oh my GOD. Anyone that knows can Know i am INSANE about them! They became day one allies in lastlife and were the closes in fairy fort from what ive seen. Even sharing a home and bed (sorry the bed part just makes me insane with the implied trust that must be has for that..) bigb also often looking over to make sure cleo is okay, even being prepared to go in the nether to try and attack joel if he tried to kill cleo.(bigb is a very pacifist person so that says a lot) but bigb got boogyman. He got too anxious to tell his team and lied to cleo, by the end of the session he realized he forgot to kill anyone and due to not wanting to be red the next session he killed cleo (he DIDNT WANT TOO. He cared so much for them but he was scared and anxious and realized it was too late..) and immediately tried to apologize even apologizing after he killed them while sounding like hed cry and also getting their stuff even while being shamed by martyn and jimmy and questioned by ren and Lizzie. Cleo didnt forgive him obviously and then later died the same session, she blamed bigb for this too and then later burned down fairy fort saying it was bigbs fault but also lizzies for sticking with bigb. Bigb lived in fear of cleo while cleo planned to hunt him down, at the end when bigb and scar try to kill ren the two get poisoned and cleo appears and finally kills bigb with an arrow near the almost exact area he killed her. In DL bigb says how cool itd be if him and cleo were soulbound. Later hes in the caves and cleo calls to see if someoens there and bigb appears, and bigb and cleo are like “oh uhm..wanna see if we are soulbound..?” And bigb is estatic and cleo is unsure, bigb tries and is sad and cleos like “ohh nooo” then later after bigb ask the frogs to lead him to his soulmate he is in a cave with ren etho joel cleo and scott. When Scott ask if hes found his soulbound bigb says no and scott says why not they all try and bigb almost immediately goes to hit cleo to see if theyre soulbound cleo telling him they already tried and bigb being sad AGAIN. Throughout the series he talks to cleo and seems like he wants forgiveness and cleo doesnt give it. Later in limitedlife he ans pearl see cleo and cleo tries to warn pearl of bigb and bigb defends himself the best he can but also stays quiet. Cleo also says to pearl that “shes their favorite nosey neighbor”

Ren and Bigb. Ough. Theyve been together every season ren was on, it got worse. The two got worse. Ren watched bigb die like 3 times and didnt do anything, he even helped with one! In DL he saw martyn but got upset when bigb saw grian even after bigb said WHY. Dont get me wrong bigb did wrong also! He shouldnt have cheated, but its the fact ren got upset despite. Him being the problem? Yk? And the moment ren isn’t there in DL from leaving, or LimLife, or now Secret Life. Bigb seems happier. Happier ren isnt there to weigh him down in a way. After him and bigb teamed more and more the more bigb scored less in the season and ren wouldve scored higher.

This also leads to MARTYN AND BIGB. I dont have a screenshot of the two so i wasnt able to add them, but they were close and bonded well to now wont even look at eachother.

Looks at you

mm hey there. wanna keep talking about that cause ill listen very intensely. (no pressure if you dont want to /nf)

[give-grian-rights]

HERMITCRAFT 8 LIVEBLOGGING

fifteen hermits worth of liveblogging. i am losing my mind. LONG POST AHEAD.

JOE HILLS (First HC8 Video)

Mumbo did the speech. he forgot everything he was supposed to say <3

Pearl and Gemini were just .in a pit . having stuff thrown onto them

Every Hermit is staying on the same continent !!

FIRST DEATHS VERY QUICKLY, Iron Golems took out Tango and Etho (maybe more?)

Joe seems to be the only one looting the chests

Evil Jevin !!

Evil Xisuma appearance on Jevin’s 60 second video!

Pearl has something planned for an “archeticual wonder” for a resupply area upon death?

Stress, Xisuma and Joe are capturing villagers and starting up a resupply debut.

Bdubs is killed by Cleo and is now OUT FOR BLOOD

First death counts- Etho, Tango, Bdubs, Cleo?

Cleo was killed by Keralis

Joe has now supplied Cleo with weapons and food . She left but not before saying “Time to kill BDubs again!”

Gemini was killed by Bdubs! They both died and are now at spawn.

Pearl was killed by Cleo

Pearl is planning a respawn inn !!

Cleo was killed by Iskall

Cleo was killed by Pearl

False, Stress, and Gemini team up??? AA!!! they brought a delivery of supplies to Joe <3

i wish i knew what was happening on that end .

APPARENTLY XISUMA IS ONTO MAKING THE SECOND VILLAGER BREEDER ALREADY ??

Iskall is the first with Diamonds??

Breathe in that ash !

WAIT IS TANGOS EYES LIKE THAT RN BECAUSE HES TEAMED WITH KERALIS AND BDUBS ???

KERALIS, BDUBS, AND TANGO TRIED TO DO A SHAKEDOWN ON JOE. HE TRIED TO DROP LAVA, GOT HIMSELF ONTO TWO HEARTS BECAUSE HE PLACED IT ON HIMSELF, AND IS NOW SWIMMING OUT INTO THE SWAMP

the big eyed trio are now off to shake down Gemini

Joe fell in Lava in the Nether

Joe Death To Lava Two: Electric Boogaloo

Joe drowned trying to kill a glowsquid

WATCH JOE’S VIDEO OH MY GOD SEAN HILLS RECAP RAP??? MY BELOVED????? i am gonna be streaming this unironically later LIKE OH MY GOD THIS SLAPS. ALSO THE CREDITS AT TEH END IS HILARIOUS

Zedaph Episode Recap

Zed gave us a recap of the continent every Hermit will be living on !!

Wouldn’t recommend Zedaph as the first video for the season, he skips the intro/speech but it’s Zedaph and hes making it fun!! Lots of nice editing :)

~SCIENCE TIME !~

Zedaph.. why is your starter base made out of concrete ?

There are no sheeps whatsoever on his mountain

Hes calling his lab an icecream sandwich..yeah i see it

Zed tried to make a portal underater...f

Scar died to a creeper </3

Zedaphs base is gonna be tracking how long hes there/someones loading the chunk!

XISUMA LIVE BLOGGING

A cool cinema scene of him becoming an axolotl!! <3

NOW I CAN SEE IT, GRIAN WAS THE FIRST DEATH!! Death by Iron Golem!!

XIsuma’s baseplans need over 45 THOUSAND BLOCKS TO BE PLACED

He’s also planning on making a shulkershell farm!!

i’m not gonna lie ! talking axolotl X is horrifying ! thanks !

Day one Villager Breeder... chaos.

Xisuma Derp! looked straight at a buncha wool and said how badly he needed beds and then walked away

THE GIRLS CAME OVER AND CONVINCED HIM HE NEEDS TO MOVE THE DESIGN OVER MY FIVE BLOCKS FOR SWAMP VILLAGERS..

THE GIRLS ARE JUST LAUGHING AT HIM AND HIS VILLAGER TROUBLES

day one and Xisuma has got his axolotl!!

Very pretty starterbase!!

XB’s

..I’m not gonna lie theres not much to say!! He’s very calm :) he says hes going into it without a plan, and htat last season was the only time he had any thought of what he was gonna do.

He made a real nice starter house and thats about it!

Cleo’s

Bdubs: “She ain’t gonna hurt me!! i’m invincible, babey!”

Cleo learnt that BDubs will never hurt her even if she deserves it . I am starting to realize why she kills him

SHE DECIDED SHES GONNA BE A PROPER CHAOS GREMLIN THIS SEASON...

AISDJASID CLEO GOT PAID TO KILL BDUBS?? HDUIAIHSI SCAR WHY

“Alright I found my mission for the season! Murder.”

Cleo, Mumbo, Grian, and Scar are all holed up in a cave together!

..Scar died from a skeleton !

Cleo has now split from Grian and Mumbo! Scar is missing in action

CLEO FOUND A GOAT

SHES KILLING THE GOAT???

she got a HORSE <3 and Joe gave her a saddle! I think her name is..Widget?

She LOVES the candles for shamboo n waterbottles and bits n bobs for her armorstands!!

Got her Armorstand stickgod book <3

Geminitay POV

NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT NEW HERMIT!!

She has a LOVELY voice!!

The pov of her in a hole . being surrrounded . is kinda hilarious

It might’ve been Etho who was first death?? I GENUIENLY CANNOT TELL BECAUSE OF EDITING

All the murder was just for heads!

Seriously her voice is. wow

WE LOVE A QUEEN WHO KNOWS HOW TO CRAFT A SHIELD WITHOUT USING THE GUIDE <3

False, Gemini, and Stress are on the great journey for MOSS !

Gem just blew their minds with the moss.

TANGO KERALIS AND BDUBS ARE BACK Keralis: “Show the diamonds show the diamonds show the diamonds!” Gem: “Keralis. This is not how you make friends.”

The boys suecessfully recieved a diamond each

Etho n Iskall are travelling together!! You dont see those two together often

Etho got a glowsquid head!!

Gem: “Etho doesn’t share, is what i’m learning..?”

Etho hooked her with a fishing rod and said she has to do what he said .

In order to get the diamonds, Tango, Keralis, and BDubs placed down a sign saying “Gem is Great!” and Gem used a glow inksack on it.

Etho: “So..What is this? Do you have an ego, or this a motivational thing, or..?” He said, while laughing

Iskall: “I think its really funny that you have set your base up in the middle of a birch forest.” Gem: “I love birch forests! Do you not like my birch forest? Iskall: “I love it, yeah.” Gem: “This is the best biome in the game, Iskall.” Iskall: “Mmmm..” Etho: “I’m pretty sure I heard Iskall talking earlier that like, of all the biomes in the game, there was one he hated more than anything. Gem: “Oh really? And what was that one?” Iskall: “..Taiga.” Gem: “Taiga.. That’s true, thats a good one, thats a good one.” Iskall: “Don’t like Taiga.” Gem: “Mhm.” Etho: “Which one do you hate more than anyone?” Iskall: “..Diorite fields. Thats a bad one.” Etho: “Yeah thats a bad one.” Gem: “Didn’t know about that one. Well make sure to avoid’em. Birch forests are really good.” Iskall: “I’m a big fan of birch forests.” Gem: “Yeah, me too, me too. I’m glad we’re on the same page :) This is so beautiful! All the white and- and the like zebra stripes! is fantastic.” Iskall: “I..Um.. Yes.”

OH SHE’S CANADIAN,, ETHO HAS A FRIEND /j

She’s still in college :O SHE’S A SCIENTIST?? SHES WORKING AT A HOSPITAL?? POG!!

She accidentally found an enchanted golden apple in a mineshaft!! she thinks its the first she ever found in survival!!

She has a cow, sheep, and a few crop farms set up!! Her starter house has INTERRIOR!

SHE CHANGED HER SKIN AND ITS SO PRETTY AND HAS OVERALL AND I LOVE IT!!

shes doing a cottage core inspired base!

WOAHH!!! SHE MADE HTE MOST GOREGOUS CUSTOM TREE I’VE EVER SEEN ??

BDUBS IS HERE and he is so so so impressed by the tree ?!

also hes carrying a clock.. :(

He’s here with a present!

HE BROUGHT BAMBOO!

she thinks its so funny that he stops conversations to sleep AOIDHFEAUI\

SCARS

WE GOT A TRANSITION SCENE!! the canonical reason for the bed in his old village always being occupied is because underneath it, was his wizard portal!

Bdubs: “It’s a new season! You’re the little guy now!”

They are all very amused by that ^

they’re rubbing the fleece of bdubs jacket .

Bdubs: “Have a nice rub :)” PLEASEAHSIOJDIUASLDHIASDA

His starter base is gonna be a wagon and he wants the end game to be a bioshock esque skyscraper!

he confused a horse for a player . flashback to iskall thinking mumbo was a mob

PEOPLE THINK MUMBO DOESNT HAVE PANTS ON.... </3

Scar, Mumbo, and Grian.. have NO braincells. at all. THey just placed a crafting table with a boat on top with a bed on top with a boat on top .

this is what BROS FOR LIFE looks like.

BOATEM POLE !

SCAR IS STUCK UNDERGROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IRL AND HAS NO PICKAXE..

AND HE DIED TO A CREEPER .

it seems like Grian, Mumbo, and Scar are working together !!!! HOLY SHIT !!

THERES SO SO SO MANY FARMS???????

he died several times trying to catch a skeleton with a sword

FIRST CHEST MONSTER OF THE SEASON <3

SCAR JSUT TOLD BDUBS HE LOOKS LIKE OSCAR THE CROUCH... BDUBS CANNOT EVEN ARGUE

OH NO.... GRIAN WENT AFK IN A HOLE . WITHOUT A HELMET .

THEY PUT A  GLOWSQUID HEAD ON HIM

OH MY GOD MUMBO MADE A NOTEBLOCK SONG?? AJUDA

SCARS BUILTING IS SO SO SOOS GOREGOUS SERIOUSLY GO WATCH THE VIDEO OH MY GOD ITS HUGE

its a giant ass house boat wagon . its pulled by a llama . that killed him . so now its trapped, pulling hte agon, forever

Grian: “..Thats a very big house, for a very little hat.”

GRIANS SUPER SPECIAL EGG??

SCAR PUNCHED IT..

they really came out here . and killed the egg already.

Scar: “..I touched the thing”

TANGO POV

We see the three big eyed boys forming <3 they interrupted Tangos intro

THEY’RE BULLYING HIM ABOUT HAVING SMALL EYES AHIDUIASUHDWIS

HE TRIED TO CALL THE TRIO TEAM BUG EYE... THE OTHERS ARE VERY OFFENDED

they found an axolotl and Bdubs was TERRIFIED just screaming “WHAT IS THAT YELLOW THING?!”

BDUBS IS ATTACKING IT ???

okay nope Bdubs caught one and Tango lost it

Bdubs is naming his axolotl Idiot

AMAZING HOUSE. WHY IS TANGO SO GOOD AT BUILDING AND REDSTONE??

Impulse POV

MUMBO TRIED TO PLACE DOWN A BERRY BUSH TO HURT IMPULSE . HE FORGOT HOW BUSHES WORK..

I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT IMPULSE WAS IN THE BOATEM POLE

so it looks like those four are hteo nes who grouped up together

PEARL BROKE THE CONSTITUION SHE GOT IN THE WRONG BOAT SMH

THIS IS SEASON EIGHT! FIVE BROS !

So its gonna be about five people in the same area!!

YOO!! Fantasy build for Impulse!!

G gave Impulse a spyglass, they had a fun moment of zooming in on eachothers face and complimenting eachother IHAUDIHAW

Grian and Impulse worked on an xp farm!

ASHDUIWAHISD GRIAN JUST LOGGED ON INFRONT OF HIM

a pillager stole his boat . not just any pillager . the one with a banner. </3

he has to live with Mumbo tuning a song .. </3 haha

Mumbo POV

it took fifteen seconds until Grian ran in during Mumbos intro

CONFIRMED? GRIAN WAS FIRST DEATH?

SECOND PERSON TO THINK MUMBOS PANTS ARE SKIN COLOR. GRIAN..

Grian: “Can you..Briefly explain why you’re just wearing a hawaiian shirt?” Mumbo: “Uh- what do you mean ‘just wearing a hawaiin shirt? I have shorts on as-well, dude”

FOLLOWED BY

Mumbo: “Can you explain why you’re wearing a red jumper?” Grian: “You know- you know i was born with this!”

MUMBO AND GRIAN STOLE THE BOAT LOOT FROM RENDOC

I THINK RENDOC JUST STOLE THE DIAMOND MUMBO THREW??

Grian: “Is that Scar?” Mumbo: “I can’t see past your giant waffle!”

DSFSDFJIOA they did an edit where they placed down a boat, both Mumbo and Grian got in, they made noises and then bopped up on top of the ravine they were in <3

THEY HAVE NO BRAINCELL THEY JUST PLACED DOWN A BENCH AND SAID “THIS IS THE MARK OF OUR VILLAGE!” and then placed a torch and a boat and a bed and aANOTHER BED..

..Mumbo is trying to be a pacifist this season!

Grian’s taunting him with beheaded things

And obviously part of being pacifist means he’s gonna be vegetarian in minecraft!

..he cannot use monster farms because pacifisim..

Mumbo was in the middle of reading the magical Timmy shack that Tango made (did i remember to mention that? who knows) and IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING TO THE PART ABOUT IF YOU REMOVE STUFF FROM THE CHEST, NOTHING WILL BE ADDED IN IT AGAIN. Grian opened the chest . Mumbo SHOUTED HIAUDHUW Grian jumped man

They renamed it “Cave of Do Not Enter” HIAUEDUH

Mumbo and Scar BOTH did not know- at least Mumbo didn’t, Scar forgot,  that podzol spawns from two-by-two spruce..

him and his guitar song to be played underneath his house.. it goes with the aesthetic i suppose

MAN HE NEEDS SO MUCH HAYBALES I FORGOT THATS NEEDED FOR THE TUNE HE WANTS

Mumbo: “What.. On Earth.. Scar, it’s meant to be a starterbase, buddy! What is this? This is many things, many many things, a starterbase is NOT one of them!”

HE LITERALLY DIDNT KNOW THAT THE DRAGON EGG TELEPORTS... WHEN YOU TOUCH IT...

BDUBS

nothing special we havent seen yet!! just him screaming about axolotls.

He was working in the Mesa in his intro, skipping the “speech” from Mumbo

He released Idiot the Axolotl and lost it .

Him SCREAMING “Gemini” is HILARIOUS

While Gemini gave away those three diamonds, Keralis got so excited he won a bet with Tango and Bdubs, that he gave back . two of the diamonds . and none of htem released until well after they left

Bdubs: “That’s why i have my mwoss skin!” PLEASE I LOVE THE WAY HE SAYS IT.. make the moss hood.. REAL..

it took me a while to figure out what his base is but i LOVE IT so so much!!!

Nothing much new to add !!

Stress pov

please i love her . very good !! False seems to have joined her sheerly because Stress sounded like she knew what she was doing. she does not.

False felt peerpressured and asked Stress for permission to fight her because everyone was killing eachother .

It ended up with Stress following False. they found a village!

ISKALL only saw him one other time today!!

JEVIN APPEARS AGAIN !

XISUMA FELL INTO HTE BREEDER AND IT WAS SO FUNN IUAHHYIAUSD

Ren: “Ya look goregous, Stress!” Stress: “Thanks! Don’t murder my dog!”

She’s so proud of herself for caving!! (with False n Gem

Iskall blew up!

..Iskall fell from a high place

Stress has a LOVELY ravine base!!

False

False wants to become pirates with Stress <3

gatekeep gaslight girlboss

BIG OL MUSHROOM HOUSE !!

it looks like a mushroom church and i LOVE IT.

Nothing new we didn’t see from Gem. She does want to come up with a banner design for her base, though!

Grian

..Mumbo just thought Grian had a purpose so decided to follow him <3

ALSO HIS INTRO, AS HE JOKED ABOUT IN THE OTHERS VIDEO, WAS, IN FACT, THE BOATEM POLE

Grian is SO PROUD of the fact taht they got good loot from a treasure map. Ren and Doc are NOT IMPRESSED

Grian: “Lets go, potato boy!”

Mumbo: “I don’t have to replace everything I break! Peace Love and Plants- are these plants..?” He says, mining amethyst

pants

he who controls the egg, controls the server... Grian.. you’re doing great sir

...He decided.. his goal.. is to make his OWN..caves and cliffs update... HELLO..?

Grian was the first one to kill the enderdragon, MAN. Speedrunning career WHEN? /j

Grian: “And now [Mumbo] is flexing on my bed!”

he might not have a base. but he has an egg.

It is now 2am. i cannot do this anymore. This will be continued.. tomorrow!

[astronomical-bagel]

ok so i just went and listened to "you can't talk about bruno" bc I wanted to know what you were talking about and oh pls elaborate

SAJDHFSJF AAAAAAA TY TY FOR ASKING OKAY OKAY SO:

The reason why i originally thought of this was how scar like made all those contracts and still ended up alone and friendless, for one reason or the other. Everyone just kinda... avoided him, and either they didn't trust him or they were just too busy with their other alliances. Hence: We dont talk abt Scar. Kay? Kay. this might get a liiiittle lengthy and a tad incomprehensible so the rest is gonna be under the cut ahaha

So the castings are:

Pepa: Etho

Felix: Bdubs

(also if you havent watched the movie you NEED to watch this clip bc i LOVE their energy and etho and bdubs 100% do the tango while singing their part)

Dolores 1 (the "grew to live in fear of Bruno stuttering or stumbling" girl): Joel

Camilo ("seven-foot frame, rats along his back"): Ren

Isabella ("He told me that the life of my dreams"): Scott

Dolores 2 ("He told me that the man of my dreams would be just out of reach"): Grian

And Mirabel ("Um, Bruno/yeah, about that Bruno"): Scar himself

OKAY now we got the main casting lemme tell you WHY i cast them. (IMPORTANT: these guys are dissing on Scar to an unknown inquisitor, it doesnt matter who their talking to lollolol):

ethubs: I wanted to see them dance. WELL thats not the ONLY reason-- y'know the whole thing when etho got scar to give bdubs a life, PLUS all the fighting and burning of trees that happened w them? Etho's portion his him bashing on scar bc of that, calling him a swindler and stuff bc of the contracts (the "looks like rain" part is abt the tree arson haha) (ALSO this ties into the marriage counseler joke scar made lmao)

Okay and delores' first part is joel gossiping about scar basically. Since scar is his upstairs neighbor, he can "always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling". Scar's all alone despite doing his best not to be, as well as doing his crystal wizard stuff, he probably talks to himself a lot. OH and the "sound of falling sand" part is SO GOOD bc you can translate that into the clinking of crystals, the shuffling of papers, or YKNOW ACTUAL SAND BC DESERT DUO <3333. it works vv well and i love that line.

OH AND RENS BIT SLAPS SO HARD (A seven-foot frame, rats along his back/When he calls your name it all fades to black/Yeah, he sees your dreams and feasts on your screams) THAT FUCKS!! anyways i chose that for him bc 1.) Scar took ren's final life in third life and 2.) ren took scars final life in last life and 3.) that mean ren kinda has a grudge and you KNOW he likes to make any adversary of his seem as intimidating as possible (cough cough "his name is Mumbo Jumbo" cough cough). Hes such a theater kid too, it's perfect

OKAY and i didn't cast these up above bc theyre not named characters lol BUT its a bunch of people blaming more or less random things on Scar. "He told me my fish would die" could go to lizzie (i mean. im PRETTY sure shes the one w the axolotl), and the other ones could be jimmy blaming the fact that he died first again on him, and hmmm idk about the third guy BUT THAT DOESNT MATTER you could pick any grievance bc the point is that its not actually scar's fault lol

AND ISABELLAS PART is scott and listen this is one of my weaker castings okay. i almost made it grian but i REALLY wanted grian to be dolores's second part so this is just scot being all sparkly like "I won tee hee :3" ig??

(also the "Óye, Mariano's on his way" is pearl lol. Mariano is joel and grian sneaking into their base once again lololol)

OKAY AND DOLORES'S SECOND PART this one is grian because GOD i love sand duo and it features grian staring longingly at monopoly mountain bc theyre not allowed to team up bc of the new season ("just out of reach" and all that)

AND SCAR also doubles as mirabel bc idk it fts. Hes like "ahaha about all that...." AND AND AND i have this scene during the whole bangin medley part where everyone's singing at once where he has a whole bunch of contracts and crystals around him and theyre all doing their thing around him in like a circle (like ethubs doin their little dancy dance, ren doin his spooky story telling, ect ect ect) and the camera angle is like circling around him and the contracts whip up like a tornado AND ITS RLLY COOL AND ANGSTY AND DRAMATIC OKAY and it kinda reminds me of some Good for You animatics if that helps u imagine the visuals

OKAY THATS ALL OF MY RAMBLINGS THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT IT

[assigned-k9]

Everyone loves reading art explanation so here's a free ticket to talk about the details you drew and no one pointed out!

IM REALLY MAD I WAS WRITING A LONG WINDED ANSWER BUT LOST IT. So this one is more “pointform” [its not its still very long..] instead because im Lazy :D But this is so sweet of you dude thank you anon ^__^ Enjoy the ramblings!

OK! So hermit designs. Lets talk hermit designs shall we??

- Keralis is a siren fish type guy, hes got claws and fin ears, a long tail and a fin from the back of his head down his back! Why a siren you may ask..? Because his eyes are hypnotic! Ooooo.. Stare into his eyes nothing but his eyes...... I also just wanted to add features that went well with his colour pallete!

- Xb is a guardian... I dont need to explain further but if you dont watch xb, he really likes guardians and tends to add them into his bases :D My favourite thing hes said about them while on a base tour is “I recognize that sound, you have guardians?” while i didnt even hear a SINGLE guardian noise. Hes got fish senses i guess. He also falls into that exact tank full of them and doesnt get hurt ONCE. So xb guardian dude. Him and Keralis are fish bros :D

- Cleos got her brain stickin out! I know zombies dont have brains but I like to think shes stolen part of Joes and so they LITERALLY SHARE BRAINCELLS. Its just funny to me. Oh, and her flower crown is more like a twig shaped tiara with flowery bits! Her exposed ribcage also has the same flowers growing on vines :D Just some design details :P

- nHo all have bows in their designs; Bdubs’ bandana ties in a bow and hes got one on the end of his tail, beef has a bow that ties his apron, etho has a very slight bow at the back of his neck tying the mask up, and docs got a small bow holding up his hair behind his neck! Some of these arent visible but its an idea i’ve had for years now! I think its neat ^__^

- CONVEX okay okay so scar and cub both have pointy ears and magical vex wings that they can will in and out of existance, they’re soul bound! [canon..?] Cub likes to keep his wings out because he thinks they’re neat + they remind him of good memories :D Scar keeps them hidden for the most part, as they can get in the way of elytra! He lets them out very rarely. They both have pointy ears constantly however! Another design thing not visible in art, they have matching blue anklets!!

- A small non visible thing about Scars season 8 design that i’ve had since he got his giant hat, all the hermits have tried it on and afterwards signed their names on the brim and inside of the hat per his request :D

- Grians mouth is just nonexistent if he isnt talking, so when hes not speaking hes got this ominous stare... I thought it worked well LOL. His neck is feathery but he covers it with a turtleneck because it tends to get cold! He doesnt bother with his arms much though

Theres so many more i can think of but I’LL SPARE THE DETAILS YEAH?

[foegold]

people be wanting to know about a lil blue bastard. this ones long as hell so its under the cut jsdhfg

Your character wasn’t an adventurer, what livelihood would they lead?

farmer! he’d just keep living the way he’d been living. it’s the sort of life he imagines he’ll return to one day, after he’s seen and done enough. ‘enough’ is a really arbitrary end goal though

Who in the party would your character trust the most with their life?

who in the party wouldn’t he trust with his life tbh. in the most literal sense he’d trust Eli with it just because he knows Eli can bring him back from dying in some stupid and ill-advised way

What are your character’s core moral beliefs?

frogs are good, try to be nice to people but if they’re mean to you first then at least a few bets are off, the rich should probably be eaten. killing is sometimes necessary but maybe try some other stuff first

What relationship does your character have with their parents and siblings?

he doesn’t have any siblings, and his relationship with his mom and recently present dad is. a little weird, and not all the way comfortable, and not like really bad, but just confusing? it’s confusing. at least he’s had more transparency from his mom recently than just about any other time. it’s a start

Does your character have any biases for or against certain races?

he trusts other tieflings a little quicker than other races but its not really saying much because he’s not smart and if you’re good at talking and sound like you know what you’re talking about he’ll just believe you. he doesn’t have the good sense to second think it without prompting

What is your character’s opinion on nobility? On authority?

so far just about every interaction with nobility has been messy or bad or scary or all three so right now the opinion is “not great”. also thats just too much money. whaddahell would you do with that much money.  he’s generally uneasy with authority figures at best, and flat out paralyzed by them at worst. he’s easy to bully when he doesn’t have anyone backing him up and he knows and hates it

Describe your character’s current appearance: clothes, armor, scars they’ve picked up along the journey, etc.

he cycles through an assortment of sweaters but the one he wears the most is the heart sweater he got in Wunjo that’s been altered a few times in the last few months. he do keep collecting those scars tho, before starting adventuring he had a handful of minor scars just from working around the farm with the animals and the equipment and from romping around in the country. now he’s got all sorts, but the most prominent ones are: the thin scar on the left side of his face, starting just below the eyebrow and curving gently below his eye (the last time Leo would leave a mark on him); the twisted angry scars across his torso from being mauled by a giant undead horse(?); and the fluid, patterned necromancy scars slowly spreading across his back, creeping along inch by inch

What location encountered in the campaign has your character felt the most “at home” in, or just generally liked the most?

besides his own house, Roman’s house has been the nicest! its warm and theres soup and friends there. there was a run down little ranch house somewhere at some point, but he’s not so sure anymore that he didn’t just dream about fixing the place up with his best friend

What deity, if any, does your character worship? What’s their opinion on other people’s worship?

he doesn’t have a god he actively worships, but he’s peripherally aware of the god in the mountains that’s responsible for some of the most brutal storms in the region. he doesn’t care much about religion but hes got the same amount of concern most people would have about evil deities and what their followers do

If your character had time to pick up any artisan’s tools, game set, instrument, etc., what would it be?

probably woodworking! its handy, it’s useful for living out in the country where you have to either make the tools or furniture or fun items to put on a shelf you want, or go out of your way and also spend money to get them. maybe an actual alchemy set and/or poison kit but 1) playing with poison just a fun hobby for him and Xan to get into when they have the time and the plants for it, and 2) man he wouldnt follow the instruction manual anyway so whats the point

What aspect of your character’s future are they most curious about? (If they could know one thing about the future, what would it be?)

will his friends be okay? will he be okay? is there an FAQ for tieflings learning that they’re much closer to fiend lineage than they originally thought? that would be convenient and helpful. is john gonna figure out more about the little men named ‘adam’ that’re allegedly everywhere?  if he could know one thing about the future, he’d like to know if everything will end out okay. if things will turn out as nice as he’d like them to.

What colors are associated with your character?

looks at the camera like im on the office

blue, white, and black are the big ones but im trying to pepper in a few other colors. reds and yellows are a close second

Who in the party would your character prioritize rescuing, in dire circumstances?

everyone sits squarely in the #1 spot on the rescue list

that aside john and roman are extremely high priority, they’re not the sturdiest and if something looked at them too hard they might keel over. baster and xan come next, he knows baster’s a shit brick house but he keeps seeing bad things happen to her and really hes just had Enough of it. eli’s a little lower priority because they can heal themselves if they’re in a tight spot, and then blu considers himself least concern. he knows he can get thrashed around some and still survive, he’d rather take a beating and know he’ll walk out of it than let someone else take it and wind up dead

Is your character the most swayed by ethos, pathos, or logos?

pathos, it’s easy to make him feel for u. legit any of them work though as long as you talk it up good enough he’ll believe you and if there aren’t any glaring conflicts between what you’re selling him and his base morals then it’s relatively easy to get him on board

If your character was granted a single use of Wish, what would they use it for?

idk probably something really simple that he put all of .5 of a second of thought into. hes not smart and doesnt have good foresight so he’d probably ask for a frog or smth unless there was something very much more pressing and present

What is your character’s favorite spell? If they don’t use spells: what is their favorite personal weapon/combat maneuver/skill/etc.?

favorite(?) spell is life transference. it hurts a bit but it keeps his friends safe so it’s worth it. invisibility is up there too, its fun and easy to steal from stores when ur not visible

How does your character feel about keeping secrets from the rest of the party?

he doesn’t like lying and also lies really poorly. he’s usually just honest from the get-go, its easier and feels better. if he has to lie its through omission, bold faced lies really just dont work

What type of creature in the world is your character the most intrigued by?

all sorts....bro the world is full of animals and lots of them like to be pet

When they were a child, what did your character want to be, or think they were going to be, when they grew up?

he thought he’d grow up and be a farmer like his mom, the adventuring thing was extremely unplanned and impromptu. he hoped he could be a kind and brave person though, the way Canna described his dad.

The player character to your left admits that they’re passionately in love with your character. How would your character respond?

random roll says it’s Roman, he’d probably laugh because the only reason that would happen is because the party is fooling around with potions again. Roman’s very married and very in love with his husband and makes sure everyone knows it all the time

If somebody (an NPC, someone from their backstory, etc.) your character trusts/loves asked your character to do something against the party’s best interest, who would they side with?

that doesn’t seem like a very viable circumstance, the only npc thats important enough that he’d listen to for something like that is his mom and she actively encourages him to take care of himself and his friends, and lets him make his own decisions about what he’s doing with his life, so

What unusual talents does your character possess?

idk if its all that unusual of a talent but he got really good at stealing and pickpocketing and he can do a sick flip. also does some black magic sometimes

What does your character’s name represent to them? (Or: why as a player did you choose your character’s name?)

it’s his name, u kno. bluebell is his middle name, but Canna called him bluebell growing up and he latched onto it a lot more than arden, and he thinks its a nice name, and a nice flower, and it sure would be nice if people would stop laughing when he introduces himself as “Blu”,

(blu was originally a stand-in name until i named him something else but it really grew on me and it fit him so! it didnt change, he just got other names too)

What major arcana tarot card best represents your character?

The Moon. 👀

What is your character’s relationship with magic? Are they scared of it, wish to know more about it, indifferent to it?

he’s def scared of magic sometimes, especially his own. he also really wants to understand it better though, and be less scared, or at least control it better. imo it’s a healthy fear, theres been lots of magic mishaps 

How did your character learn the languages that they speak?

he learned common and infernal from mom! and he’s learning draconic from xan. it’s a nice downtime activity, sit down with ur best friend and homie and learn a new language just for fun

[theconservativebrief]

MOSCOW — “Stay in the car,” Yuri says. He looks out the window, up at the grey Soviet-era tower block we’re idling outside. An old woman is staring out the window. “She’s looking at us. She’s suspicious.”

Eugeny and his wife, Lyudmilla, have already gone inside. But Yuri (who, like everyone quoted in this article, has asked to be identified by first name only for security reasons) is worried that entering as a group will attract attention. Attention means somebody might call the police. And when you’re a Jehovah’s Witness in Russia — labeled by the government as a member of an “extremist” sect, the same designation they use for neo-Nazis and ISIS members — dealing with the police is the last thing you need.

Eight million Christians around the world self-identify as Jehovah’s Witnesses. Their worship is characterized by frequent public proselytizing.

And, according to a new law signed this week by President Putin, they are unable to share their faith with one another in the street — or in private homes. The law, among the most sweeping in post-Soviet history, prevents any form of evangelism outside of state-approved buildings, including in private, in homes, and on the Internet. In practice, it affects members of non-Russian-Orthodox religious groups, including Jehovah’s Witnesses, members of the Church of Latter-Day Saints, and Protestant Christians.

This is not the first legal strike against Russia’s religious minorities. In April 2017, Russia’s Supreme Court ruled that Jehovah’s Witnesses, which represents the faith of an estimated 175,000 Russians, violates the country’s anti-extremist statutes. An appeal was refused in June 2017 continuing years of state-sponsored persecution of Jehovah’s Witnesses as a religious group.

Police frequently raid Jehovah’s Witness services — both in private homes and in Kingdom Halls — and, according to members, turn a blind eye to discriminatory civilian violence. Yuri recalls one instance where a “sister” — as Jehovah’s Witnesses refer to female members of their community — was beaten and threatened with a gun by another woman while out preaching, only for the police to dismiss her as a “cult member” and a thief when they finally arrived. But since the most recent Supreme Court ruling, Yuri says, things have gotten worse.

“We’re on their radar at all times,” says Yuri, an affable man in his 50s who apologizes, frequently, for his near-perfect English, which he taught himself through the internet. Their largest Kingdom Hall, located in a northern suburb of Moscow, lies empty, the entrance marked with caution tape, after the building’s owner deemed it too risky to let Jehovah’s Witnesses use. We are meeting in July of 2017, shortly after the refusal of the first ruling’s appeal.

Still, the community has developed a strategy to keep its faith and worship alive. They enter the building in twos and threes to avoid attracting attention. They mix up the homes they use, to keep it difficult for government forces or potential harassers to track. They set a table laden with food, which, during the Saturday worship session I attended in July, goes entirely untouched. It’s there so that if police arrive, they can claim that they’re simply gathering for a party. And, Yuri tells me, they always keep a few bottles of vodka on hand. If the police come, he says, they can down it quickly. The police will smell their breath, notice their inebriation, and believe that they’re been carousing, not worshipping.

Because the Jehovah’s Witness translation of the Bible is banned in Russia, many access their sacred texts via smartphone.

Today, about 20 Witnesses gather in this Moscow suburb. They are roughly split evenly by gender, and a mix of ages. Nearly all follow the lesson on their tablets or phones, using specialized apps. (Importing physical copies of the Jehovah’s Witness Bible is also forbidden.)

Yuri’s wife, Alla, helpfully translates the verses from Russian to English for me on her phone. They pray for the wisdom of their rulers, reading verses from the Book of Daniel about faith in times of turmoil. They affirm Jehovah — their rendering of the term for the Judeo-Christian God — as lord of the universe. From time to time Yuri and his friend Eugeny, a wide-eyed bald man fond of speaking with his hands, ask questions of the flock, calling on members of the community to help interpret the Bible.

The worship service, which runs about 90 minutes, is a muted affair. After all, they can no longer sing during services in people’s homes, lest the sound attract the suspicion of neighbors.

But it is, Yuri says, the best they can do.

To be a Jehovah’s Witness in Russia, after all, is to fall afoul of the extremely complex interplay between nationality, faith, and nationalism in Vladimir Putin’s Russia, which — as I have previously written — bolsters its authoritarian regime by appealing to the fundamental “Russianness” of the state Orthodox Church. For Putin and his supporters, Jehovah’s Witnesses seem like a dangerous foreign influence. Yuri jokes that other Russians think Jehovah’s Witnesses are foreign spies, or that their frequent doorstop evangelism is actually a ploy to gather data to send back to the CIA; after all, in Russia, their religious expression inherently codes them as dangerously “Western” and “other.”

The history of Jehovah’s Witnesses in Russia, and the former USSR more widely, has always been tied up with politics. They were the subject of suspicion under the hyper-secularist Soviet regime. Lyudmilla, Eugeny’s wife, tells me that both her grandfather and father were sent to Siberian gulags by Stalin for decades for being Jehovah’s Witnesses. The religion spread during the chaotic 1990s, shortly after the fall of the Soviet Union, when religion was finally no longer taboo, and people started asking questions about God.

“A lot of people started when the Soviet Union was destroyed, to say what is written in the Bible,” Alla recalls. “[Talking about religion] became open. After the Soviet Union fell, you could talk about God openly — no problem! That was very interesting [to me] — [I wondered] what was inside [the Bible]?”

Kingdom Halls like this one in a northern suburb of Moscow lie empty after the latest Supreme Court decisions.

For others, faith allowed them to find meaning in the chaos of the fall of the Soviet Union. Eugeny proudly tells me his religion under the USSR was “communism!” He served in the army, all the way up until what he called “civil war — Russians firing on Russians” — marking the fall of the Soviet Union.

When communism started to fall, Eugeny felt himself at sea. “I was communist, but at the same time, geopolitics was interesting for me,” he says. “And in the army I realized that the most great geopolitician was Jehovah. But I didn’t know him [yet]” — he had felt the stirrings of religious longing but had not yet become a true believer.

Only when his now-wife Lyudmilla started to preach did the world start to make sense to him. “[I realized that I] have to serve God. I realized that God is Almighty and I wanted to serve him,” he said. Geopolitics at last makes sense, he says. Now, he says, he sees the world as a chess board, God as the ultimate player.

For all four of the Jehovah’s Witnesses I interviewed, religion in the Soviet years had been primarily a function of national and ethnic identity, not faith. Yuri, who was raised in Uzbekistan, considered himself Muslim because of his ethnicity, nothing more. “I was born in a Muslim family?” He shrugs to demonstrate emphasis. “Okay, I’m Muslim.”

He remembers being shocked the first time he saw an Uzbek Witness try to convert him. “I said, what? Look at you? Look in the mirror, you are Muslim. And you became … Christian? Why?”

His wife, Alla, was a “Christian” in the same way Yuri was raised as a “Muslim.” She grew up in Siberia before moving to the warmer climate of Uzbekistan for her health. That’s where she met Yuri.

At first, Alla was more receptive than her husband to the Jehovah’s Witness evangelists who knocked on their door. But Yuri was worried at first about the mysterious strangers who studied the Bible with his wife — and their foreign ways.

“I was worried, a little bit, that it wasn’t the traditional way … I worried that it was a cult,” he said. But he started to warm to the idea of a faith that was led by discussion and asking questions — not tradition. And the idea of being religious in name only did not appeal to him. “[Russian] Orthodox people, they drink a lot. They can lie, they can steal, they can do many things. But at the same time, they wear the cross. I said, ‘Hey, you are not afraid of God. If you are Christian, your behavior should be according to the Bible.’ But I didn’t find [that] with Orthodox people.” Jehovah’s Witnesses were different, Yuri says. He stopped drinking, smoking, hanging out with a “bad crowd.” His family was shocked — and suspicious. What he was doing wasn’t “traditional” after all. But they couldn’t deny the change in his behavior.

For as long as Yuri can remember, Jehovah’s Witnesses in his native Uzbekistan dealt with similar harassment under the recently deceased nationalist dictator Islam Karimov as they face now in Russia, where he moved for work some decades ago. They’d have to pay the odd bribe or fine at a police station, or they’d get into trouble with local toughs. But the situation in Russia under Putin, all agree, has gotten worse, reminding them of the worst days of Stalinism, except with a different ethos. In the old days, Jehovah’s Witnesses were a threat to the secularist state. Today, they are a threat to the Russian Orthodox establishment. But the methods remain the same.

“My father, my grandfather, were prisoners for reading the Bible,” sighs Lyudmilla, “Then they were rehabilitated [after the fall of the USSR and considered] the victims of political repression. The government said sorry to that generation. But now they’ve started to put us under stress again.”

They all agree, however, that this does not let them stop practicing their faith — or even proselytizing. Although they do not stand on street corners any longer, they go a few times a week to knock on doors and try to preach what they believe is God’s word, even if they’re more likely than not to be shouted at or attacked as suspected foreign spies or agents of treason. “The [state-run] TV and newspapers, they demonize Jehovah’s Witnesses,” Yuri says. “But we aren’t stopping preaching — and we won’t stop preaching.”

Yuri makes sure to say that he is not political. Jehovah’s Witnesses are expected to be neutral bystanders in political affairs (worldwide, for example, they request exemptions from mandatory military service, something that they are denied in Russia). “It doesn’t matter who is the president. Just don’t touch us. We don’t want to change the president. We have to pray for the [leaders] — that they can manage the country with wisdom.”

Still, he is more than a little caustic when reminding me of the story of the biblical prophet Daniel, once the prisoner of a disbelieving king.

“Daniel, he had good days, he had bad days,” Yuri says. “But he held to his faith. Every day, he served God.” He points out that the biblical word he uses in Russian, spastayanstvom, has the connotation of a donkey: day by day, turning in circles to mill the grain. In other words: Daniel was stubborn.

“Now we have bad day in Russia,” he says. “But we will continue to worship God as Daniel did. Thanks to God, Daniel was saved. And he will save us. But who has to worry? The people who put Daniel in the lion’s den. They had to worry. Because when Daniel was released from the lion’s place, the bad people were killed by the king — you see what I mean?”

Yuri winks at me. “So, the people who do the same things in Russia have to worry. Not us. Jehovah’s Witnesses survived in Hitler’s time. In Stalin’s time. We survived gulags. Siberia. We have a God. The people who persecute us — they’re the ones who have to worry.”

Update: this story, originally reported in July 2017, has been updated to reflect Russia’s latest legal developments

Original Source -> Jehovah’s Witnesses are banned in Russia. That doesn’t stop them from worshipping.

via The Conservative Brief