#its ok if its a vague reference nobody knows or if i think it looks stupid looking back in 5 years... im getting silly w it
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love it when im actually having fun drawing. this should not be a rarity you should always be having fun if youre doing it for fun never forget your roots
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not to bitch and moan but today i (he/him tme transsexual dyke) remember my transmasc roommate of days past and the time he saw me wearing a skirt and said “if i dressed like that I would want to kill myself”
always sort of insinuating that a “real” trans person couldn’t be gender nonconforming..
and eventually of course devolving into the “trans women actually have more privilege than me somehow and i feel threatened by them” which turned into “in the future i dont want to live with AMABs again” yes that second one is a direct quote there was so much more to the convo it ended our friendship quite abruptly and messily.
but my point being transmascs using their own dysphoria and their bigotry they inherited from their family as a weapon against trans women is soo much more common than you think it is. this person was supposedly a leftist and was friends with/trying to date many trans women at the time. it unsettled me how he would imply he found these women untrustworthy at the time but also he approached specifically trans women again and again looking for their patience nurturing and support even asking them for money and favors. before again pivoting and returning to the i think shes a bit TOO into me and its creeping me out.
my takeaway was basically it is your responsibility to tell trans women if they are seeing or hanging out with someone who says terfy shit behind their back. protect your community to make sure nobody has to experience that type of violence (to be clear the violence im referring to here is: someone trans or cis who wants to date/sleep with trans women but continues to imply trans women are dangerous or untrustworthy, eventually discarding each woman they bring into their life for vague reasons which all stem back to transmisogyny)
i was so distracted by how every time i tried to discuss with HIM the harm he caused he would break down cryinf about how fragile he is and all the trauma in his life and i was hesitant to let my friends know the transphobic things he said about them because i thought it would hurt them a lot (ignorant on my behalf. once i finally told my friends i realized i should have warned EVERYONE the very first time i saw this behavior) i didn’t want to seem like i was shit talking him or being rude to the women he was seeing but by the end of our friendship that was one of my greatest regrets. I personally try to honor this mistake by fucking never letting something like this slide ever again and being a reliable friend to the trans women in my life by telling them honestly if i don’t trust someone i see them associating with. that type of passivity in our communities is something that also puts trans women at risk.
since coming back to tumblr ive seen a lot of transmascs harrasing trans women here and the sense of entitlement and the need to frame trans women as a threat to your individual comfort and safety is incredibly harmful and selfish. it reminds me of that shit i watched going down two years ago with my room mate and i really don’t like seeing terf ideology spread by other trans people. check yourself and imo leave trans women the fuck alone if you are still unlearning that shit. stop inviting trans women on dates and hangouts if behind their backs youre insinuating they are untrustworthy or violent in some way. that is so evil ok send post
#cw mention of suicidal ideation#transmisogyny tw#im just really sad and dissapointed and scared to see these behaviors be accepted#save trans women from wasting their time on assholes like this just tell her if you see shes dating someone who said some bullshit™️
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Analyzing the meaning of the song 27 when we line it up with what we know about the 27 club
So, for context, nobody thought pete would really live past 27. the 27 club is a group of celebrities in the arts that died at age 27 (Amy Winehouse, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, etc), usually from their own self-imposed destruction. But fall out boy and their history is so inexplicably tied to this number that I absolutely had to write an essay about it. this song is a complete masterpiece in its own right and it's definitely up in my top three fob songs of all time
The song starts like this:
“if home is where the heart is then we’re all just fucked
i cant remember, i cant remember
And i want it so bad id shoot the sunshine into my veins
I cant remember the good old days”
The first line feels almost like begging. Hes wondering where he belongs, because he doesnt feel safe at home, and this song was during the time where the band was fighting a lot, and they were kind of his home as well. so if home is where the heart is and he doesnt feel safe at any of his homes, if he cant belong, then will he ever? Anywhere? A kerrang feature interviewing pete said that this song was him trying desperately to hold the band together, which is expressed with this first opening line (“if home is where the heart is then we’re all just fucked”). Clearly he is clinging on with a single thread, and this was shown when the band went on hiatus not long after.
‘And i want it so bad id shoot the sunshine into my veins’ obviously a drug reference, of being so desperate that youd do anything to get the good feeling back, and here it is linked to ‘i cant remember the good old days’ because it feels almost like a desperate kind of longing. this might relate to the line ‘you were the sunshine of my lifetime’ which repeats multiple times through fob’s eighth studio album, So Much (for) Stardust. In the context that this is referring to a person (anyone, but likely patrick; pete keeps his lyrics vague for a reason) it would be overexposing yourself to something that gives you temporary happiness but in the long run can kill you. hm just something to consider but i know they probably didnt plan that far ahead lyricwise lol
“And it’s kind of funny,
The way we’re wearing anchors on our shirts
When being anchored aboard just feels like a curse”
A lot of folie is actually linked to this sort of nautical theme (what a catch especially) and i think this references ‘they say the captain goes down with the ship’ because anchors are usually on nautical themed shirts or the shirts of sailors, but pete is saying he hates being tied down to the ‘ship’ which can be interpreted as the band maybe possibly. either way hes definitely pointing out the irony of wearing something that symbolizes stability when he is DEFINITELY not stable (who ever looked at pete wentz and thought ‘this man is stable’?) (i digress)
then comes the chorus. i love this chorus so fucking much it is interpretation goldddd
“My mind is a safe, and if i keep it then we all get rich
my body is an orphanage, we take everyone in
doing lines in dust and sweat
on last night’s stage
just to feel like you”
ok so obviously petes referring to his mind as the safe because hes the one who makes the lyrics and thus hes the one who earns the band the profit. Its a safe because he is inscrutable. It is also a safe because he only takes out what he wants, and only he has the key. ‘My body is an orphanage, we take everyone in’ COULD refer to how hes kind of promiscuous but more than that fall out boy was known for being the band that didnt really care who their fans were. They were marketed towards teenage girls and for that they were looked down upon. His body could be a metaphor for the band itself, and taking everyone in could mean that they accept the people that other bands dont typically want as fans.
‘Doing lines in dust and sweat on last night’s stage just to feel like you” this is a reference to the 27 club, and refers to stars doing drugs to be able to function/feel normal and human again. Idk. i just really like this line its so great
“The m-m-milligrams in my head burning tobacco in the wind
Chasing the direction, chasing the direction you went”
Im going to break this verse in half specifically because patrick fucking does NOT ENUNCIATE and also its long (how many times did i think ‘and youre a bottled star’ was ‘and you’re a bathroom stall’ rip)
The milligrams and the tobacco are pretty self explanatory- more drugs. 27 club connections via the drugs. burning tobacco gives way to the vision of trying to cling on to a high with desperation, and he’s chasing it- chasing the direction it went.
“youre a bottled star, the planets align, youre just like mars
You shine in the sky, you shine in the sky”
pete uses a TON of star and sky metaphors in his writings, this song included. A bottled star would mean a person who is repressing their talent. It could also mean a celebrity who is drowning their problems in liquor. Mars is the roman god of war and often a symbol of masculinity (although im not sure how relevent the second part is). It means raw, unbridled energy. here pete is saying (in his vague, vague writing voice ://) that when the person he is talking about drinks, they lose all control and are pretty much unstoppable. drawing this to the 27 club, a lot of the members died by alcohol or drug abuse, so it makes sense.
The use of star and sky metaphors throughout this song really bring it home- yes, the stars may be bright and pretty, they might shine and sparkle, but at the end of the day they will burn away and self combust. So we have to hold it together if we want to keep our own worlds in once piece.
“Are all the good times getting gone
they come and go and go and and come and go, oh yeah
ive got a lot of friends who are stars but some are just black holes”
For this verse lets work our way backwards. more space and star metaphors. stars clearly refers to his friends in the industry, but black holes could mean they have an almost deafening energy, or are on their way to becoming a part of the 27 club itself. The good times coming and going represents the sort of panic thats felt in the entertainment industry as a whole; the competition against time itself, for fear that when youre old people wont want to know what you have to say. So often the people who act and sing are so unbearably young, and once they pass thirty two they arent marketable anymore. pete is putting to words the worry and the scramble to get things done- to make a name for yourself- before your time is up. And AGAIN relating to the number 27, its quickly approaching 30, so you better move fast if you want to become famous.
The rest of the verses from here are just chorus repeats, so let’s talk about how tangled fall out boy is with the number twenty seven. other than the 27 club, what’s so important about it? It’s not a prime number. Theres really nothing out of the ordinary about it.
Except, there is.
Everyone celebrated when pete made it past his 27th birthday. In 2011, patrick wrote his Confessions of a Pariah blog post. He and joe were both 27 at the time, and i think that might have been a deciding factor in what inspired pete to reach out. He didn’t want his best friend to give into depression, much less when he was 27.
The band got together again not long after that. the first track off Save Rock and Roll, My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark, dropped February 5th, 2013. The rest is pretty much history.
I don’t know. All speculation. But the number 27 is definitely linked with fall out boy, although it’s not relevant right now, and i just think its so damn interesting
#probably no one will read this its not very interesting but im proud and I had fun#fall out boy#fob#meta#27#folie a deux#bandom#toby’s metas#Toby speaks#lyric analysis
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It's been like this since Crash beat Brokeback Mountain. Home of Phobia.
the thing is. the Thing Is. i saw maestro in theaters on its limited 'please give us an oscar even though we're netflix' run i was cautiously optimistic about the movie and it's like. it's just fine. there's nothing egregiously terrible about it but it is a complete nothingburger of a biopic it's not even a GOOD biopic. it is remarkably cookie cutter. it's got black and white for absolutely no reason i can ascertain and its switch to color part way through is like so incredibly weird. just PICK a COLOR bradley. i loathe to give nolan any ground on oppenheimer but at LEAST there was a REASON. that is understandable. i will give it that the score slaps but it kind of had to, the conducting scenes genuinely felt like the only part where there was any real substance or love put into that film, and it's really just a showcase for carey mulligan who is admittedly good. bradley cooper is just fine. it takes its discussion of bernstein's sexuality from the bohemian rhapsody school of biographical pictures. they're technically both movies about gay people but ONE of them is a devastating look at queerness across generations and family and love and the other occasionally makes references to it while hinging the whole film on the relationship between the gay person and his wife, which i have no complaints about it IS an interesting relationship, but the way it incorporates bernstein's sexuality feels vaguely Home Of Phobic.
and like i know that a lot of this actually comes down to active campaigning, because i don't know if there really was one for all of us strangers in the same way that when netflix wants something to win an oscar they throw everything behind it. i think (unevidenced claims btw i know nothing) they mightve done something similar with ripley which is like cool great go get those emmys. but WHO is seeing the 'i'm sorry i never came in your room while you were crying' scene and not IMMEDIATELY going oh i need to give this man every fuckin award in existence. like mr cooper is OK in maestro but who didn't see the scene where adam crawls into his parents bed in his pajamas from when he was a kid and immediately go this has changed me forever. who is doing it like mr. scott in all of us strangers. i argue nobody. this is partially because it's good and also because i hold the firm belief that he's simply one of the best actors working right now and i'm RIGHT. and like as well as that. what about paul mescal. what is rdj doing in oppenheimer that paul mescal is not doing. arguably what is ryan gosling doin[gunshot]. my real frontrunner in that category is sterling k brown but like STILL. a nomination would've been deserved. jamie bell and claire foy as well are fuckin phenomenal. and i can keep going we can talk about directing (excellent) and cinematography (INCREDIBLE. can we talk about it more. like i can't really remember how maestro looks other than serviceable. but there's one interview about every shot in the opening of all of us strangers emphasising adam's loneliness and it DOES you can FEEL that shit. that is cinematography that brings you into the film. you know that post about people wanting to help ariel out of the screen in the little mermaid. that's the shit i'm talking about. also like. just LOOK at the opener hang that shit in the louvre.)
ultimately when it comes to Cinema when i think about this year's nominees at least the ones i did see were MEMORABLE. maestro is nothing to me. i regularly forget it is a movie i have seen. all of us strangers haunts me every day of my goddamn life as is evidenced by My Blog over the past couple weeks as i descend further into whatever new problem i've developed. so tldr i'm not the academy but i should be and all of us strangers 2023 should've swept the nominations if not the actual awards. it GOT THE GOLDEN GLOBES. WHICH IS A REASONABLE PRECURSOR TO THE OSCARS. sorry just googled whether andrew scott has an oscar and that came up. anyway. this has been Neon Is Angry At The Academy Also Known As Fork Found In Kitchen. awards aren't an indicator of a films real quality because ultimately what all of us strangers is is a deeply deeply personal piece of art that everyone will take something different from and for me one of those things was It Is A Fucking Travesty That Andrew Scott Does Not Have An Oscar And In Fact None Of These People Do What The Hell. What The Hell. as well as feeling like i was going to be physically sick (complimentary). what i took away from maestro was a desire to rewatch the fabrizio de andré movie, which says a lot about both the movie and also me. the fabrizio de andré movie is also a pretty generic biopic but at least i ENJOY it
#neon answers#materassassino#this wasn't supposed to be an essay i just uh. looked at the nominations again to fact check this post and blinked and this happened.#will i watch maestro again. probably not. i just don't care. will i rewatch aous. the SECOND i am in the right circumstances to do so#(i.e. not Living Alone. good tv. several days cleared in my calendar for the emotional fallout. etc.)#ANYWAY. it's 31 degrees here i am going to get a popsicle and lie down and continue my ripley rewatch. for sane people reasons.
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Angel With A Shotgun
Rick Flag (The Suicide Squad) x Reader (Female)
Warnings: SPOILERS FOR THE NEW SUICIDE SQUAD MOVIE, Death, Blood and Gore, Swearing
Summary: Being Christopher Smith’s best friend since the early days of army training camps Y/N is more than honored to be going on a mission with him. Little does she know, there are more secrets at play than she could ever imagine. Good thing the girl’s always prepared.
Requested by no one, I’m just PISSED!!! The writers did us dirty AS FUCK and I’m not gonna stay quiet about it so please enjoy this fic and let’s pretend it’s canon. Cool? Cool.
“Careful up there, ok?“ That’s the last thing he said to me before we went our separate ways, following the plan we had conjured up earlier. I knew he wasn’t referring to the bombs I was supposed to plant or the ‘always watch your back, even around allies’ rule. He meant it genuinely. And he meant it for me. That sentence coupled with the look in his eyes when they met mine was enough for me to read between the words and grasp the true message.
And all I could do was offer him a small nod and an even smaller smile.
A smile he vaguely returned before turning and walking off with Cleo and Grieves. And that’s how I remembered him, wishing for that picture to be the one I remember of him in case I die.
In case I die. I never considered the other possibility.
“Listen, Y/N. I’m gonna do something bad. Something really horrible. But it’s the right thing to do. I must do it. You know I only do things I must, right? You know me.“ He pleaded with me, eyes begging me to trust him as he basically told me he was derailing from the plan we had constructed down to the tiniest detail.
My hands shook as I adjusted the bomb to the wall, my eyes widening and any words I wanted to tell him dying in my throat, leaving me speechless before him. As if automatically, my head moved on its own, nodding. It’s the only thing I’ve known I guess. Chris says something and I automatically agree cause I trust him limitlessly. Isn’t that how it always is with best friends after all? Can anyone blame me really?
But can anyone also blame me for my gut screaming not to let it go so easily?
There’s no real friends in the field, Y/N. He’s got a mission, you’ve got one of your own. You shouldn’t even be here, goddamn it! Go! GO, right this instant!
Gut feelings, the closest thing to being psychic. And boy does Flag owe my gut feeling his life.
But heroism always comes at a price, doesn’t it? There’s always a reward and a price that you never saw coming in the first place.
The reward is easy to guess, but the price can vary so drastically it can never be measured or foreseen.
That’s what happened to me when I decided to follow Chris.
The task I gave myself upon boarding the aircraft was simple, and the biggest price in my eyes was losing my life but I was already prepared for that when Waller recruited me on the very first mission.
Little did I know the price of saving Rick would be the look of utter betrayal in my best friend’s eyes, looking at me with the same intensity as a hundred voices screaming ‘TRAITOR’ at me.
“I’m sorry, Chris.“ I managed to say, my hands gripping the shotgun with all my might just so I don’t drop it. “You were sent here to cover up Waller’s dirty laundry, and I came here to protect Flag.” I cock my gun upwards, praying Chris doesn’t notice how shaky my hands are. “So keep your hands off him!“
He shakes his head, “You have no fucking idea what you’re doing, Y/N! Him over me?! Some fucking nobody over someone who’s been by your side for a whole fucking decade?!“
I gulp, my resolve only strengthening as a result of his guilt tripping. “You heard me. Friends or family, you don’t get a second chance for being a traitor.”
“Me?! I’M the traitor here?! He just threatened to send our country into chaos because of his righteousness!“ He roared, his gun clutched just as tightly. It may be the tension suggesting it but eventually, I know it’ll come down to who’ll pull the trigger first.
And that realization has cold sweat running down my body.
“Fake peace built atop lies is worse than a war!“ I snap, now aiming my gun at him, determined to be the first to send a bullet flying across the room. Not cause I want to survive for myself. But for Rick. If I die, so will he. Chris doesn’t play fair. Rick is knocked out and Chris won’t even think before turning his body into a bag of bullets.
I won’t let that happen.
A gun’s pointed at me now too, sending my heart beating louder.
“Then you’ve picked the wrong side.“ He mutters with despise, “If you see me as no friend, I have no reason to hold back either.“
And that’s the last push I needed to send those three bullets I had with his name on them straight into his chest, at least one undoubtedly hitting his heart.
Did it hurt with all the memories we have made together in mind? Of course it fucking did. I may be a soldier/criminal but I’m not made out of stone, damn it.
But did it feel relieving knowing what he was seconds away from doing? Pains me to admit but yes.
With a heavy sigh I sling my shotgun over my shoulder and carefully walk over to Rick’s still unconscious form laying on the tiled floor.
“Colonel?“ I whisper, ducking down to give his shoulder a slight shake, “Flag, please don’t do me like this, wake up. Please wake up, Rick.“ I jump, almost losing my balance when I hear what sounds to be Harley screaming for a brief second before a loud crash echoes above.
I can’t stay here with whatever hell my teammates are going through going on above my head, threatening to wipe them all out and them Rick and me too. So, I make a quick and a rather stupid decision. Slinging one of Rick’s arms over my shoulders I wrap an arm around his waist and somehow manage to hoist him up, bringing him weakly to his feet and earning a small groan from him as if reaching me from the other side of a wall of fog.
“There you are, Colonel. Let’s go, the team’s counting on us.“ I say, desperately trying to push forward with the weight of my shotgun and Rick pushing my already exhausted and weak body down.
“Y/N...that you?“ He asks, his voice groggy, “Or am I dead? Are you an angel? Where am I?“
Damn Chris must’ve knocked his head pretty hard, I think to myself.
Just as I’m about to answer, Rick lifts up his hand to run it over his face to help himself wake up fully but he accidentally hits the handle of my shotgun, causing him to let out a chuckle. “Angel with a shotgun, I see. Then it must be you, Y/N.”
“Bet on it, Flag.“ I reply with a chuckle, almost sighing with relief when he manages to hold some of his weight up by himself, “Not gonna lie, you gave me quite the scare.“
“Never gonna happen again. That’s a promise, doll.“ He drawls, his head resting against my shoulder more as an endearing gesture than need for support.
“Better keep it. Not looking forward to finding you actually dead one day.“
“No worries, angel. No such thing will happen.“
“Good.“
He knows better than to disobey an angel with a shotgun. Smart man.
#suicide squad#suicide squad 2#rick flag#rick flag x y/n#rick flag x reader#colonel flag#harley quinn#peacemaker#bloodsport#ratcatcher 2#ratcatcher#suicide squad fic#rick flag fic#rick flag fanfiction#rick flag imagine#au#fix it#alternate ending#fic#fanfic#fanfiction#fluff#spoilers#imagine#x reader#reader
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HSMTMTS 2x10: New and a bit alarming... ok, very alarming
I don't even know at this point if I'm more nervous or excited for this episode. I've done my waiting and, well, whatever lies ahead, good or bad, or a little bit of both, I just can't wait anymore, even though I haven't been so scared to press play since... well, since last week. Guess I should just go for it, then:
Ooh, shady Seb doing the recap! We love to see it. Like, seriously, I'm anxious about the Seblos fight, but shady Seb is kind of my new favourite Seb.
I just... Ashlyn's acting is top tier. Emotional connection to the material? Superb! Chemistry with her co-lead... well, he'd have to be co-leading for any chemistry to be possible. I love Ricky, and I feel for him with all he's been through, but he's just not lead material right now. And it shows. Especially next to Ashlyn, who is killing it!
Miss Jenn is on the verge of a bloody mental breakdown and I just... wish I could do something to make things better. She reminds me of my mum when a deadline approaches for her to submit an article, and I just feel for her right now. Gosh, I'm feeling for everybody today. My empathy seems to be at its peak and I might just burst from all these emotions this episode is making me feel even before the 5-minute mark.
Ok, but Miss Jenn being stressed means Carlos is stressed for two, which means... this is a really bad time for him and Seb to have personal problems. My heart just can't handle it.
Wow... I never thought I'd see the day! The two leads are actually talking to each other! This is a mid-July miracle!
Why does everyone keep pretending their HSM was good? It was a flaming hot mess! A child could see that.
Miss Jenn needs a lot of work on her 'gracious face'. I, like Carlos, have quite some notes. Only mine aren't exactly, how do you say... verbally formulated quite yet.
Did Carlos just refer to Miss Jenn as 'mother'? Because yes.
I've been in a couple of local theatre productions in my day, but none of them had actual physical sets — we relied on the audience's imagination quite a lot — so I wouldn't know what a good set is made of... but even I can tell that plywood and Elmer's glue = not good.
Kourtney is a multi-tasking icon and we love her. I feel like I don't say this enough, but she deserves all the love.
Ooh, shady Seb is... well, shady! 'Quit school and get a job at the pizza shop?' — I mean, you don't see Reddy or Kourtney (or Howie, for that matter) quitting school in order to work at the Slices! Those kids juggle it all and, as someone who's never had to balance school and a job all at once, they have my deepest admiration.
Still, I think they should have thought about 'inventing' something re: transformation earlier than this point. The personal drama has taken up too much of their time.
Why does everyone keep inviting people over to Ashlyn's? I mean, it's not like I've ever heard her complain, but the girl needs some rest! And her house is not a public space.
Oh, so they're making this into a contest? I mean, I have never been a fan of competition, but to each their own. And Redlyn are hosting! This is going to be so beautiful! (You know, unless the boys try to sleep — see my post from yesterday about Reddy's background noise machine)
'I'm not worried. But North High should be!' Ooh, I love this look on Ashlyn! See, there's a lead to take notes from! And Ricky should be the first to do so. Take notes about what a lead acts like, I mean.
Oooooh, Big Red claps back! We love to see it. Although, you know, it stems from the fact that he's nervous about coming up with a solution to the transformation problem. 'I get bossy around the power tools' — Yes, sweetie, and I love that look on you. Maybe you should be around power tools more often, if that helps.
Ughhh, look what the cat brought in! Lily (I wish I knew her last name so I could refer to her by it exclusively, but we'll have to make do). I hate that girl. She reminds me quite exactly of the girl who bullied me in seventh grade to the point where I wished I'd die before having to deal with her at school again. She and Lily both bring out my aggressive side, and I hate that about them.
Ricky — 'so good at being a leading man'? I don't know what Lily is playing at here, but Ricky has not shown himself to be a very good leading man this season. He has the potential to be, but he has not fulfilled it by this point. Sure, he supports his friends and they support him, but that's basic decency. Not yet good leadership. No hate on Ricky, just the truth.
'I vaguely remember him' — please tell me this is setup for Ricky leading Lily on and then slamming the door in her face with the truth. The way I see it, he's been given a chance here. A chance to be the supportive, protective best friend Big Red deserves. I just... have a lot of ideas about this and I don't want it to end badly instead.
'I'm just not well-liked here, and I don't know what to do' — well, of course you aren't well-liked, you little— (ok, ok, calm down, breathe, 10, 9, 8...) whatever. I mean, she hasn't even considered basic decency, as it seems. Must be a new concept to her.
'Don't start with me, Carlos!' Wow. As much as I hate it that my two faves' only interaction in so long is so hostile, I kind of like this side of Big Red. I wonder what other sides of himself he's been hiding.
Listen, I don't like Seb being patronised and babied, but... 'Chip, this is your mother speaking: go call your mother!' made me laugh so hard. They're leaning into the on-stage family dynamic and I live for it.
EJ's idea of using old skateboards for the spinning contraption is... a brilliant callback to the fact that Ricky and Big Red were first characterised as skateboarders... you know, before diving headfirst into the theatre thing. And it feels like it might actually work.
Miss Jenn's excitement at seeing Mr Mazzara ('Benjamin!!!') is perhaps only topped by the fact that he was halfway home, got a text from her and instantly went back to the school. I mean, these two have something that's really big.
Miss Jenn referring to the kids as 'my children', combined with Carlos calling her 'mother' earlier just warms my heart so much! Those guys really are family. I live for it.
Ok, but... as clear as it is that the Wildcats are very far behind NH in terms of budget, rehearsal time and who knows what else, I hate seeing Miss Jenn resigned to them losing. I want to see her have faith in them, talk about how they will win, and, in her own words, 'trust the process'. I mean, I guess it's good that, as a teacher, she wants to prepare her kids for a possible defeat (and I mean really possible if they don't step up their game immediately, especially some of them * cough* Ricky *cough *), but a team that goes out to the field expecting to lose has a very minimal chance of winning.
Despite everything I've been saying again and again about Nini lately, the fact that she just delivered a very different 'No, Seb' has just redeemed her. See, this one wasn't dismissive or patronising — this was like, 'no, Seb, don't put yourself down' and I love that spin on the catchphrase I'd grown to hate. See, many things can be redeemed. And some simply cannot. * cough* Devil's spawn Lily *cough *. Also, Seb being self-conscious about the fact that Carlos 'doesn't have many options' at East Hight is the perfect setup for In a Heartbeat — meaning they will either have a chance to talk about their issue, or they have a telepathic connection, in which case, what kind of soulmate stuff is that?
'You're my sister; he's my cousin' — yeah, Ash, putting it like that makes it sound a lot weirder than it should, but I do get what you're trying to say. This is not a drill! Ashlyn is a Portwell shipper (heck, maybe even the captain of that ship) — but I feel like we already knew that.
'Why'd I never hear about this?' — and there it goes. Within the same scene, Nini was redeemed and then made aggravating again. What does she care if Gina thought Ricky sent her chocolates? He didn't. Because he and Gina can't be anything but very good friends. And I feel like good friends is what Gina needs. Maybe that's why I wanted EJ to be that for her initially (or it was because I'm aroace and don't tend to notice romantic attraction between fictional characters — or real people for that matter — unless it's explicitly stated to be there). But I've been on board of the majestic S.S. Portwell for a few weeks now and it's finally about to set sail.
Yeah, Nini, get a root beer, calm the heck down and get over it!
'Your other clockwise!' — Why does this even need to be said? How many 'clockwise's are there? I absolutely understand why Big Red gets the way he gets around power tools. I'd be on edge too, if the people I was trying to work with didn't know what way clockwise is. Still, I feel like by the time I'm 30, nobody younger than me would have a reason to know what way clockwise is, and I don't know if I feel bad or neutral about it.
Oh, so there's no telepathy involved in Seblos' problem resolution — it's been Redlyn's good communication all along. I might have known.
Ooh, Portwell is being discussed on both sides! PORTWELL NATION HOW WE FEELING
Nini? Why is everything about Nini? There's no way everything is about Nini. In all seriousness, though, EJ's worries about letting the next girl go seem valid in regards to Gina, given that she explicitly stated (though not within earshot of EJ or anyone who could have tipped him off) that she needs someone who will show up and stay. But they'll figure it out. They'll find a way. I know it. They will, or I will riot, and I know I won't be alone in that.
Ooh, Howie is giving Kourtney the original blueprints! Looks like Reddy isn't the only one who has a spy on the inside.
Ahhh, Ricky! Not 'Let You Go' again. I haven't cried to it in three days and I was not ready to break that streak. But... wait, this is where Carlos approaches Ricky to ask him for help with writing a song for Seb, isn't it? I am definitely ready for this.
Oh, is it... is it Ricky who suggests Carlos write a song for Seb? Now that is what a good leading man looks like.
'I'm adjusting to being called bro' — me too, Carlito, me too. But... this scene must have been so emotional for Josh, given that he hadn't come out yet. I remember him crying during The Climb and... all I'm saying is I want Ricky to come out at some point, too.
Oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh... they were just talking about love languages and that's when Carlos shows up? Cinematic. Wait, there's Portwell too? This is what dreams are made of.
My oh my oh my! Risotto! For real this time. I might have just teared up. (Full disclosure: I did.) I've only had Portwell for about three weeks, but if anything happens to them, I will... you know how the meme goes. [side note: Wait, when I said 'for real this time', I was not expecting EJ would say it, much less word for word. Am I... writing this show now? It's usually my dad who predicts people's lines in TV shows]
'Not that I know of'... excuse me while I hyperventilate! These two are literal soulmates. They might share a brain, too, for all that I know. Portwell nation you ok guys?
I love that Ricky helped Carlos out with this song and is supporting him through it, but... I just might have preferred for him not to be there. I kind of need Seblos to have this moment to themselves. But, you know, with the way they feel about each other it might as well be like they're alone in the universe, let alone the room.
Ok, but Frankie's voice... brings out feelings in me that I didn't know I was capable of. Make of that what you will. Also, I'm not sobbing my eyes out, you are.
Ahhh Reddy my sunshine my sweet boy I love you but why did you have to cut Seblos' moment short? They were going to kiss, I know it. Oh well, they probably will, later on. Off-screen probably, but who cares? Not everything is for us to see. At least Carlos and Ricky had a moment there... Carlos calling Ricky 'bro' made me more emotional than I expected. It's like Miss Jenn says in s1: 'They're best bros, and that's a sacred thing... for reasons I will never understand'.
Ricky's acting sounds like a cat about to spit up a hairball, and it's so funny... in a scene that is supposed to be arguably the most dramatic of the entire play, that is not a good thing.
Oh my, oh my... you did not! You did not just end the episode with Ricky taking a fall from who knows how high. I was not ready. This episode was entirely too much for me. I will need 10 to 15 business days to recover from this, and we all know there aren't that many. But in the meantime you'll find me obsessively listening to In a Heartbeat for hours on end. Seriously, this episode is too much.
#hsmtmts#hsmtmts s2#ricky bowen#nini salazar-roberts#gina porter#ej caswell#ashlyn caswell#ashlyn moon caswell#big red redonovich#carlos rodriguez#seb matthew-smith#kourtney greene#hsmtmts miss jenn#hsmtmts mr mazzara#jnk#seblos#portwell#redlyn#jenzara
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Im a little buzzed right now but its time for another . thought process. (these posts are ok to likeand interact with btw)
When I think about Waver and I think about how alone he is and how that leaves him feeling, and how he hates himself, and how he feels unloved, unsupported, I get this feeling that swells up in my whole body and soul and swallows me. this feeling of anger, and sadness, and I get this strong sense of like. I have to do something.
I see so much of myself in him. the choices he makes. the way he’s felt alone for so long. the way he feels he can’t truly tell anybody about what went on, can only speak in vague terms, can’t truly open up, has nobody to speak to. Can only brush aside his pain. the only person who knows all of his pain as well as he does is him alone. and it’s just that, it’s just him steeping in his loneliness, and yet it’s him choosing to take in students and care for them and care about them.
there’s a lot of talk about “saving” or “being saved” in Case Files.
I don’t know if anybody else feels this way, but when you’ve had a lifetime lack of substantial emotional support, it feels, often, like you wish somebody would save you.
You wish that somebody would come by and support you, and stay by your side, and never leave. You wish that somebody would let you lean on their shoulder so you could weep. You wish that somebody would tell you that you’re more than any of the pain you’ve felt. You start to get desperate. As you feel less and less understood by anybody because of the uniqueness of your circumstances, you start to sink deeper into that desire. “I want to be saved. I want to be saved. I want to be saved, I want somebody to be by my side, I want this. I need this. I want to be supported. I want to be saved. I want to be loved by somebody. It isn’t just anybody, it just has to be somebody who truly, genuinely cares about me. Am I not worthy of genuine love and affection? I want to be saved. Maybe I’m not worthy. Aah, that must be it, I’m not worthy, and I never will be. I want to be saved.”
It’s different than the desperation of “anybody will do”. It is. Because you already know at this point what real, genuine care looks like. You know what it’s like to have been emotionally supported once. You’ve tasted it. And lacking it again, you feel like you’re drowning in your own sorrow.
When I see Waver, in his solitude, looking at that mantle, with a complicated expression, when I see him saying he’s merely a survivor of the war, when he calls himself powerless. When he dissociates.
I feel myself suddenly welling up with tears. This for some reason happens more often when I’m hormonal (like now) but it honest to god makes me start sobbing sometimes.
I see so much of myself in him that it’s painful. Through him I’ve learned that we both need support. That we need support, and we need it badly. We need affirmation. We need to know who we are as ourselves. I am Rose. He is Waver Velvet. I know what makes up everything that is the person that is Rose, now. But he doesn’t know himself yet. He has ... the pieces lined up in front of him. He’s getting there. He is.
He is, and I think watching him struggle to understand who he is as Waver Velvet reminds me so much of how difficult it was to figure out who I was, too.
Especially through the lack of support. Especially through the lack of affirmation, especially through the dissociation.
When I see him, I suddenly want to start screaming in anger at the entire world. Why did you let us go for so long alone? What grand sin did we commit to deserve this, being alone and unsupported for this long?
Reflecting back on that, on my anger, I am struck with the same feeling that made me start mentoring in the first place. I have to do something.
I had the power to make a difference simply by being there. This was something I understood decently at this point. So for those who were in similar situations to myself as a teen, I stood by their sides and watched them grow. I wanted to make sure that even if anything bad happened to them that they weren’t alone. I did this because I felt like I had to do something. I had to support them. I had to make sure they weren’t alone. I feel the same boiling rage at my own circumstances at the very idea of them being alone and unsupported.
I just felt like I never ever wanted to see somebody going through what I went through alone ever again.
When I see Waver, I feel the exact same way, only this time, it’s somebody who is more of ‘me’ than anybody else. Somebody who understands the same reason why I started mentoring. Somebody who is “just trying to be an acceptable person”. And then I see him alone, suffering, and I just think. Why isn’t anybody doing anything? I have to do something. I have to be there. I have to support him.
What does it mean to save somebody?
In Case Files, Gray tells Waver that he saved her. He left an incredible mark on her life, changing it for the better. Being by her side and teaching her and guiding her. Getting her out of her hometown. Even if he feels he’s powerless, he was by her side and supported her. Even if he could not physically protect her, he was able to save her.
Then let’s be loose with that definition. If you can save somebody by being by their side. Simply supporting them and caring about them genuinely, unconditionally, and loving them, then that’s a form of salvation.
I want to save him, because if I didn’t, it would mean not saving myself.
Waver’s stubbornness is the same as mine. His poor, bitter attitude is the same. His sense of internal helplessness. Saving others but feeling that you’re not worthy of being saved. Not being able to turn a blind eye to anyone’s suffering but your own.
I’m simply a few steps ahead of him in terms of recovery. Whether he exists or not doesn’t matter, because I found a form of salvation in him. Being able to see what I was going through reflected back at me. That was more than enough. I didn’t feel so alone anymore. Because of him, I figured some things out that I seriously needed to understand to move forward. I would’ve never understood it if I didn’t have him to reference back at me.
I feel genuinely pained, because in seeing him, I realized I deserved the same salvation that I wanted for him so badly. If our circumstances are the same, and I want to see him supported, then I needed it, too. I want to do something. I have to do something. I have to save him, because if I don’t, it would be the same as not saving myself. I need to do something. I need to support him. I can’t let the world treat him this way anymore.
It drives me to tears sometimes. I start feeling like I have to be there for him, literally, by his side, being able to hold him, being able to hold myself. Being able to hold the pieces of him that are me that are lost and want and need support[salvation] so desperately and don’t know what to do without it. Holding him is the same as holding myself and saying that it’s going to be okay, that I’ve got you, that I’m not going to let you go. I’m not going to let you suffer anymore alone. You can share the weight with me.
Part of that is also why I’m a little desperate for him to forgive his younger self. But that’s something I’ve already elaborated on a few times.
When I see him, alone, I feel frustrated that I can’t do anything for him directly. So I make myself fictional and directly translate it over. Maybe not the one that’s in Case Files. But the one that I’ve known in my heart, knowing his experiences, knowing what he’s said, why he’s said it, what he’s doing, and telling him. I’m right here. Please stay grounded with me. I’m right here. I won’t leave your side. I promise. I won’t leave you alone. I’ll ground you. You’re allowed to just be Waver Velvet with me. I don’t need you to be any more or less of who or what you are. It’s okay. I’ve got you.
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Hello friends and welcome to ☆Hateful Nostalgia☆. I was exposed to the mob talker mod WAY too young bc I was an unsupervised child on the internet watching mod showcases and SkyDoesMinecraft. Looking back these sucked, the stories were often bland and the designs were milk toast at best and tits out at worst. So for the sake of procrastinating on working on anything substantial I grabbed the main 6 I remembered and gussied em up. Redesigns, rewrites, better names, all that bullshit. If your interested in better photos, design notes, story details and rambling hit the basement, otherwise here's a line up you should click for better quality.
Also I wrote all this once before already but I deleted it like a dumb bitch. On the night Unus Annus was murdered in front of my eyes no less. Was a rough fuckin night.
The Creeper- Kupa. An explosive pyromaniac with a habit of making empty threats and yelling. She protects what she believes to be her territory with a suicidal passion, but if you manage to get her to cool down and soften up she's pretty sick to hand out with. Hard of hearing, has at least one bout of head trauma at all times, and deathly allergic to cats.
Because the creeper is kinda the og I wanted to reference AT2's design more than the others, but I'm p sure the only thing I actually kept was the red hair and brown gloves. Otherwise I was doing whatever. I really wanted to lean into the explody bit of creepers, so I gave her some bite and dressed her in clothes referenced from Irish railroad workers. This may also be why I keep imaging her with a very heavy Irish or Scottish accent, whichever would be most incomprehensible when angry. Every color but her skin was color picked from one of the references, with some minor alterations for makes my eyes happy reasons.
With Kupa I imagine a story line with her would largely be about her as a character and her development than like an actual adventure narrative like everyone else. She starts off ready to blow up both you and herself in a misguided attempt to defend what she sees as her's and opens up and learns not everyone is out to get her. Lots of time taken to understand her childhood and how she ended up how she is. Very simple, probably the default or tutorial run people would go through.
The Zombie- Bee. The ill husk of a missing explorer suffering from a less than conventional appetite. She wallows in her self imposed loneliness, believing herself to be an irredeemable monster doomed to hurt those around her. What she really needs is a buddy and some clue to who she used to be. Rough voiced, chronically fatigued, and prone to spontaneous combustion in sunlight.
I definitely consider this one the weakest for design sadly. I imagined Zombies as humans who went into strange caves and caverns and didn't come out for years, only to pop up as completely different people. I just tossed AT2's design. The first thing I did was make her a bit of a genderbent Steve and tinted her green bc Zombies in game are just Steve but green. Tore up her clothes, colored picked the darkest colors I could from the clothes on the in game and boom, Bee. I do vaguely regret not making her eyes pure black but I also still wanted her to be human enough to fit with the other overworld mods.
Ok so Bee actually has a basic story. When you meet her she's aggressive, but as a warning. She fears the possibility she may hurt somebody so heads for threats immediately. Going back and forth between her cave and village for a while you learn more about the situation with the missing folks who come back and Bee as a person. After a bit you pick her up off her depressed ass and start a nocturnal adventure of refinding your past, adapting to who your becoming, overcoming self destuction, and slow burn babey!!!
The Skeleton- Ulna. One of the few surviving warriors of a now destroyed kingdom and dead culture. She spends most of her time now traveling alone, hiding in trees and shooting anything see sees as a threat- which is everything- in the face with homemade arrows. Very much suffering from loss of her home and a bad case of lost purpose. A woman of few words, very antisocial, and naturally nocturnal.
I came in with the Skeleton wanting to make her seem mysterious, so my first thought was immediately a cloak and a mask, but I wanted her face to like be visible so I went with the face paint. I didn't actually know that I wanted to do under there so I went with wraps that are reminiscent of the original outfit but still not tits out bc it's so fucking easy! Gave her a quiver, color picked the cloak and face paint from the in game model and the wraps from AT2'S art. I did like. Subconsciously draw her eyes the way I do Asian characters but I didn't have anything specific in mind so like go nuts with what you think she is.
Ulna's deal is very much her lack of purpose or home and the entire thing is about finding that again. She's found sitting up in a tree during a storm pointing a bow and arrow into your face. She eventually let's you stick around until the storm is over and theres some bonding into deep night until the rain stops. You ask if she wants to come with on your little travelling sword for hire business, she says sure, sleep schedule shenanigans, backstory angst, and road trip bonding happens and she eventually decides that helping people is her new purpose and you're her new home
The Spider- Park. A young adult experiencing the world for the first time through her tribe's rite of passage. She's really just trying to figure out how to live life outside of the cave she's been stuck in her entire life and aggressively trying to be an independent adult despite not knowing anything about being an independent adult. Its projection. Blind in the daylight, naive and excitable, and taken to refusing help at her own risk.
Ok so. I don't know who looked at the spider and said "purple haired loli with puffy pants" so I once again yeeted the whole thing, only really keeping the kinda cutesy and childish bits. Spiders are a tribe of humans what live in caves unless they've broken off to live on the surface. Kids are kept inside until they hit a certain milestone, where they come up to explore at night. They're usually small and pale, but are pretty kickass when necessary. Again picked the colors off the in game model, played with the lightest gray for the skin, and bc I couldn't figure out anyway to use the stripes so they're on the patches lol.
Park's meeting is probably the funniest and most meet cute one here, in that she accidentally drops on top of you from a little cliff drop off. Cue loads of apologies and an explanation about the spider deal and being blind in light. She asks for some help getting around and bam babey friendship and emotional attachment! What follows is kinda a buddy of coming of age story with the obligatory goes home and is miserable scene. Generally it's just about being a scared young adult and having someone to fall back on and why that's important. Also crushes and young people being bad at that.
The Blaze- Amber. A demonic entity who would let the world burn and the sun die if it meant she'd get her soul back. She's known for being ruthless, taking souls through force instead of making deals like other Blazes. Keeps this forceful nature even once she's become friendly, makes you do dump shit. Territorial, eyes glow and dim with her life, and runs remarkably warm.
Amber here is the first one I actually did! I was just. Really tired that she was in a bikini. I decided early on I wanted overworld mobs to be human and everyone else was decidedly not, so Blazes are demons who gave up their souls under false pretenses to other Blazes. Because of how little clothes AT2's design wore I had essentially free reign and my thought was immediately to lean on golden knight bc of how Blazes are found protecting fortresses. The gold isn't picked from anything bc I was looser with the colors, but everything else is, and the hair is supposed to represent the smoke. Also the sticks in her hair are blaze rods bc I don't like them just floating around her.
Amber is found in the Nether obviously, protecting a fortress and immediately trying beat your ass and either incinerate you or make you give up your soul. During you prove yourself a p damn good fighter and she makes a deal to show you how Blazes exist and pursade you to give your soul up willingly. Bonding happens and she explains where the souls go and what happened to her. Insert line about how she dug in the sand for her soul until her fingers bleed bc I'm an Arcana freak lol. In general I'd just like her to learn to adapt to who she is now and learning to live life well instead of letting her anger burn her up from the inside out.
The Enderman- Violet. A confused but sweet young bit of void created by and connected to the Ender Dragon. Her relationship with reality is tenuous at best and abusive at worst, making stable existence rather difficult. She doesn't know a name, age, gender, anything about herself aside from that she likes sweaters. Communicates primarily through psychic connections, docile and sweet, and melts like a witch in water.
Violet was incredibly easy, so this may be way short. Endermen are decidedly human shaped void from the End with varying sentience. They're direct extensions of the Ender Dragon, and nobody knows how they're made or where they come from, not even they do. Adventurers who escaped The End say they seem scared of it though. Violet in particular is pretty damn new and extraordinary nonconforming, and I tried to show that with her sweater and ponytail. Once again, literally all colors picked. Definitely the simplest but one of my favs.
Violet is the sweetest meet up I think. As your traveling between villages you notice a strange enderman watching you and plant a little flower in front of her. She picks it and you hear a happy little trill come from you and a pretty voice say thank you in your head. Now you have a tall dark teleporting travel buddy! After a little bit of back and forth she tells you in some broken English that the Ender Dragon made her but she doesnt know how, and that it's bad and needs to be killed for the sake of Endermen and that's the new goal. Spoiler they're the corrupted souls of those that died fighting it, with it gone Endermen are free to exist as their own being and do whatever, hurray!
#cosmic entity's art#minecraft#mob talker mod#mc creeper#mc zombie#mc skeleton#mc spider#mc blaze#mc enderman#character design
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What would a good pr look like for you? Or, are there any principles you would suggest? I'm genuinely asking out of curiosity, cause we see so many things done badly (in a movie related industry), that even someone inexperienced like me can notice it all. You don't have to answer this if you don't feel comfortable, of course. Have a nice day :)
Hi there! Thank you for asking and for being so kind while doing it. I don't mind talking about this at all, don't worry 😊
I'm going to try to not take too long to answer but I already know I'm going to fail so I apologize in advance 😉 (edit after writing it: it's enormous, i'm so sorry. Hopefully, it's interesting. I'm crossing fingers for it to be at least readable 🤞).
Disclamer before I even try to start: I'm not a pr person (why do I even bother opening my mouth then? Idk either). I've already said it before but I always like a little bit of context, so. I'm not a pr person but I've studied (for about 3 seconds) fields close to pr or even directly related to pr in college, worked more or less close to a pr department (for about 3 other seconds) and have now been working... for let's say the other side of one fence for at least a good 5 minutes. I'm not close to pr people but I can see some effects of what they're doing on a regular basis. It's not pretty clear but i'm just saying that even if I'm not a pr person, I've been evolving around the field for a while, and even more than that, I've been watching (too) many public people from up close for way too many years. That doesn't make me an expert obviously, but I think it makes me at least someone who knows where to look and how to look in most cases. Obviously I won't say too many stupid things.
Ok, that being said.
In theory, a good pr move is a pr move that: a) reach its targeted audience in the way that was planned b) improve or doesn't hurt the image of the person/brand and c) make the people/entity who give the person/brand money happy (or at least, isn't hurting the rich people/brand's values). Some pr are more specifically designed for one or two of these goals, the three being the perfect combo.
I've said it before but it's always a important reminder that just a pr move not being good for me doesn't mean it's not a good pr move at all. It's most likely mean that I'm not in the targeted audience.
About principles... Again, I'm not sure if I can give a straight answer but, it's what I like about public relations. For me, even if of course you can learn things in theory, the beauty of pr is to completely adapt to the client. Trying to transpose pre-existing patterns on different people or different brands is not doomed to fail but, still in my opinion, very limited. So the only important principles for me are, a) to know (and respect) the audience you want to talk to and b) to not twist too much the identity of your client (whether it's a person, a person that has become a brand, or a brand).
The b) yet, is still debatable. If your client (person/person-brand/brand) is either shy or boring or extremely detestable or all of the above, you can think the only way to make them catchy is to completely twist them. For me, it could have been a good idea until... a few years ago. Before social media, twisting a nature for public image purpose could work. Before social media, public entities and audiences weren't talking that much together, so it was doable. Say I was an asshole singer in the 80's. All my pr people had to do is to make sure I appear somehow lovable during the 5 weeks a year I was promoting something (while all I was doing is around 2 things on tv, 3 things on radio and 5 things on written press) and I could be an asshole the rest of the year and nobody would know nothing about. At worst, someone would have a bad experience with me, but that someone would just talk about it to their four friends and two parents and that's about it. Or it would be a vague rumor, but no one would care that much. Like many things today, social media has changed things. Many public person have social media accounts, which means twisting the nature of the client is... way more complicated and more likely doomed to fail at some point. Of course you can be a public entity and not have any form of social media presence. First, it's going to be rarer with time because in the majority of the cases, it's shooting yourself (or your activity) in the foot. But even more importantly, not having social media account for yourself doesn't prevent you from their effects, because everyone else around you has social media accounts. Say I'm still an asshole singer in... say a post-covid world because otherwise it's too complicated. I'm still doing that 5 weeks promo tour to present my new album but this time, my agent is documenting everything on their own social media accounts to promote their own selves and work (because unlike me, they're smart and know social media are part of the business). During that tour, the media I'll interact with will probably be more plenty than the ones I would have met in the 80s because there are way more media than before. Every one of them has their own media accounts, for which they're going to create social media content (of backstage,...). Even more, some media are only social media based and will propose mostly content based on my personality. Remember that one person who had a bad experience with me in the 80's but had mostly no consequence? Now that person can share this with their 135 followers on Twitter who all have a RT button or on a post on their Instagram account and tagged their story on my account (if I have one) or on every fan account or on my agent account or on my mom account or everywhere people go when they want to lurk/stalk content about me. And well, you know the Internet, if 100 people knows, everyone knows. Even outside of my 5 weeks promo, every person I meet can morph into a viral story on the Internet. Which let me circle back to what I was saying in the first place. In a time where the flow of content is almost non-stop and the (media) public place is almost everywhere, having a pr strategy based on something dramatically opposed to who you are is tricky and not really viable in a long term. Especially when, in my opinion, you can work with everything in pr. You can adjust certain things, choose to hide some other parts, highlight other without changing everything. If you're good enough, you can make the most boring person relatable to an audience and work from that. I think the easiest way to make pr works is to based it on something real. Even if you then make it ten times bigger for public purpose, starting from something real makes everything easier.
When I wrote the post earlier, about public relations being interesting, I was mostly referring to what I see happening on Twitch and with streamers lately (if you're not familiar with this universe yet, just imagine a youtuber who only is only making live content and who mostly live on paid subscriptions from viewers instead of advertisement). It's nothing revolutionary, but I do appreciate the predominant transparency I hear in some of them. Yet again, because of the nature of their activity, transparency with their audience is in itself a good pr move. When you've spent 9hours a day, 6days a week live streaming for an audience without any edit or filter, transparency is often required. But still, it was really refreshing to hear that guy, who is and has been considered as the number one streamer in France for many years having that kind of speech. He was explaining how this thing he did hadn't making him earn any money but was good for his image and how that other thing he did was for money and many others things like these. And you find out that thing that could be badly perceive by the audience (such as doing something for money when you are supposed to have a job of passion) isn't at all perceive as so when you're explaining it to the audience and why you're doing it, where the money goes next and what you're going to do with it, etc.
What I like about pr is that, the possibilities of creativity are endless. Especially now, with all the new (that aren't that new anymore) technologies and the internet and the social media and the fact that everybody with a smartphone or an internet access is reachable from anywhere in the world. When I see something as the Travis Scott event on Fortnite and I see that you can virtually gather together 28 millions of people from all over the world for a concert (especially during a global pandemic), it's like, fucking mind-blowing and absolutely genius in so many levels. When we talk about pr, I wish people would think about stuff like events like that instead of just a set up lie or something to mislead the audience or something. But it also comes from pr people and teams and from public people themselves to not see pr as a mean to an end (selling something to an audience, making some rich people happy, etc.) but as a science as much as an art, and an occasion to produce something interesting, exciting and to create emotions.
Have a nice day/everning/night as well, Nonny. Thank you for stopping by 💜
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State of the Season pt 1
So, so many shows! :O I don't remember the last time I watched so many ongoing shows. Alas, quantity doesn't translate into quality, but still, there are some pretty nice shows that I enjoy a lot.
Not these, though.
Dragon, ie wo kau
Yeah, this was crap. I expected something fun and fantasy-spoofy, I got a badly animated, badly produced, badly acted (from the main character) video-game-referencing show that takes one joke that is already not incredibly funny, and runs it into the ground until there's nothing left but dust. Pity.
.
Mars Red
Oh, this show. The first episode was stilted and vaguely pretentious*, but I thought eh, let's see a bit more of it. So I watched episode two and three, and bam, the usual vampire-hunter-vampires shenanigans with some half-hearted attempts at ~Historical Relevance~ but still pretentious. Perhaps it could've been better with more interesting/charming characters, but they weren't interesting at all... OK, that's not quite true, I liked that young vampire (supposedly the most powerful one?) who was always doing the "hey enemy vampire, you can join us or you can die" speech, that was cute.
*I mean... yes, you've read Salome. Yay. So how is it related to what happens in the episode? Does she kill the one she loved to possess him or something? No. Does she do anything even vaguely related to the story of Salome? No. So... what's the significance of the references? And from episode 2 it was downhill. EP 2 has Romeo and Juliet for "tragic lovers" which is about the most clichéd thing ever and the lovers' story had nothing in common with Romeo and Juliet other than them dying in the end. And in episode 3 the characters are literally standing around reciting Relevant Poetry. I suppose this works for people who are satisfied with understanding a reference and who want to feel smart for knowing some classical literature, but other than that...
I've been putting off watching episode 4 since Monday, and frankly at this rate likely I'll never watch it.
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Fumetsu no anata he
3 episodes in, and oh yes, I remember why I didn't keep up with the manga. Look, I'm not saying it's a bad show. As most people I was very impressed with the first episode. Good stuff, emotionally powerful. But what happens after that is just totally not my cup of tea. Nonhuman entity learning to understand humans and gaining sympathy for humanity would be totally up my street - but not really when it happens via a generic adventure story, tryhard epicness tipping into unintentional hilarity every now and then, overwrought music, precocious kids mugging for the camera, and the threat of misery porn looming just over the horizon... and that's not even mentioning the obvious production issues apparent from episode 2 that further undermine the epic tone the show is going for.
I think I'll give it one more episode, although I have a feeling I'm not going to last longer. I'm sure the story will eventually have some profound things to say, but I'm also sure it'll be nothing I haven't heard before in ways that resonated better with me.
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86 -Eighty-Six-
aka "Liberal Circlejerk - The Anime". (And while it can't be "white liberal" for obvious reasons, it has the attitude down pat.)
This show. This is what you get from a LN for horny teen boys fantasizing about being badass soldiers and naive girls in sexy uniforms, that also wants to say Serious Important Woke Stuff. You get a show about Super Special Teenagers that is hilariously dumbed down, preachy, self-congratulatory, and also cynical about how it treats its female characters. (And that's not even saying how stupid the setting is... I'm sure there'll be some twist but seriously, it still wants us to just handwave away stuff like "even if the enemy's weapons will expire in 2 years, how come nobody asks 'what if they built new ones' or 'what if they have other stuff up their sleeve'" etc...)
Really, I'd like to say that at least the show has its heart in the right place, but I can't, because for every preachy and dumbed down but decent message it delivers it does shit like ogling the main female character (whose uniform has a garterbelt apparently because the LN writer is into that), having her make cute pouty or blushing faces, pointing out how she's a virgin, having a "boys ogle bathing girls" scene* where the girls of course talk about boys and romance because girls, eh? etc. Hell, in episode 4 it even manages to undermine the single best thing that happened in the show so far by basically tone policing the oppressed character who told the MC to fuck off and not treat them as her morality pets. Clearly even if your friend was just killed in action and this random person who is also your oppressor and is wallowing in privilege, is crying in your ear making it all about her, you shouldn't be rude to her because aw shucks she meant well. And of course all it takes is a "sorry, I'll treat you like humans from now on, I swear" for everyone to start respecting her. Like, wow, she's committed to the bare minimum, where's the champagne?!
*Yes, the girls were dressed, but you just know that at one point in production (or perhaps in the source material) they were were naked. The entire scene is set up as a usual ogling-bathing-girls scene, so I'd bet money that what happened was someone in production vetoed it in the very last moment so they didn't have time to rewrite everything, only to give the girls clothes.
I'm still getting some entertainment value out of 86 (those spider tanks are pretty nice...) but oh boy, the cringe.
#86#86 eighty six#mars red#fumetsu no anata e#to your eternity#dragon goes house hunting#anime review
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You said a while back that while Supergiant games (Bastion, Transistor, Hades) was mostly okay, you had some words about them. I was curious as to what those words were, since Hades' full release is soon.
okay. alright. ive been playing hades lately so i definitely want to give my two cents (or dollars by the size this is gonna get). but let’s go Step by Step
the good: i want to throw a whole Endorsement over supergiant games with the art direction and its characters, which is what keeps me coming back again and again, and what i can assume is that most people are attracted to.
gameplaywise, they have a Format they stick to which has become their staple, not to their detriment but to their advantage, like... gameplay tropes, so to speak, that they stick to (such as the addition of special conditions that give a disadvantage in exchange for more long-term rewards)
i fucking adore that they take one concept per game, go for it, and when they’re done they are Done; they don’t bother with sequels, they don’t want to run things to the ground and i fucking respect that. They have their themes, and they stick to them (to various degrees of success).
that said, like every piece of media, they are not perfect and this has to be analysed and spoken about
CONTENT WARNINGS: genocide and ethnic cleansing, antisemitism, misogyny, homophobia, suicide, and mentions of incest, and a general Spoilers warning
bastion: touches on ethnic cleansing, and not in a way i’d say is satisfactory. our narrator and one of our Sympathetic characters is one of the men who worked on a world-ending weapon meant to use against the Ura (a group of people coded as East Asian) which after a bit of googling is literally called “the final solution” if there was ever a war between the Ura and the Cael (who feel like rly tan white people to me). jesus fucking CHRIST.
we also meet more Ura other than our two named characters and we have to kill most of them. so that fucking blows.
the game tries for “being a genocidal monster will get you fucked up and blown up” which duh, but i feel we shouldn’t have had a person responsible for war crimes be one of our friends no matter how bad he feels about the whole thing, or the people victim of war crimes become villains in the latter half of the game. zia’s father could’ve taken ruck’s role ez pz.
transistor: the weakest of their games, imo; the lore and writing are fairly flimsy and i did not come out feeling Satisfied, especially because it had this rly good build-up that did not pay off. not to mention... their villains? 3/4 were gay people. lol. two married guys (not even explicit, you only realize by their shared last names) and the ps*cho lesbian trope (iirc she wanted to kill the protagonist’s lover or something). the female protagonist also ends up killing herself to live forever in a digital paradise with her dead lover. it’s. god.
very Aesthetic, GORGEOUS music, interesting gameplay; had potential, i do not feel like it lived up to it at least as far as the story goes.
pyre: now this one. this one’s BEEFY. where transistor felt flimsy, pyre is rich; lots to sink your teeth into, rich in lore and loveable characters, again w the beautiful music, themes of cooperation and togetherness. my favorite of the cast is volfred sandalwood, the only Black (or, well, Black-coded) revolutionary i’ve ever seen portrayed with this amount of sympathy.
onto the bad: they literally have a Class of character named “Savage”; there’s the “mystical mentally ill person” trope; there is an overwhelming amount of explicit m/f pairs (one of them being. a romance that formed in a single day and then both of the characters were somehow willing to risk it all for each other? PLEASE) while the only hints of gayness are... hints. especially when Jodariel (another of my favs) is teased to have feelings for the player regardless of gender then only gets an ending with a male character with whom she has nothing in common 🙃
hades: and now. this one. music: gorgeous. character designs: spectacular (aphrodite is straight up naked but it’s so... natural and casual, it doesn’t feel sexualized at all). voice acting amazing. character interactions charming and endearing. as a greek mythology nerd, it was nice to see them go for the obscure shit like Zagreus at all, NOT portray Persephone and Hades as a loving couple, AND portrayed the gods as the bunch of petty assholes (some more benevolent than others) that they are. imo they’re too generous with their portrayal of achilles but i’ll allow it.
and finally... it seems all those criticisms about having all the gay characters hidden in the shadows paid off, cuz we got (aside of patroclus and achilles) a bisexual polyamorous protag. Holy Shit! and it’s not even playersexual, romance whomever you want shit without the routes recognizing each other: he explicitly talks about how he’s thinking abt them both (though it’s like “yeah usually mortals take one lover but gods love many huh” polyamory is a human thing too bro!!!!!)
and this is where it all goes, well, at least vaguely downhill lol. ok so the incest warning i gave up there? well. it’s not... outright incestuous. but it has some ugly implications. i want to emphasize: the characters never refer to each other as siblings, nor do they treat each other as such (thanatos, in fact, only recognizes hypnos as his brother, and megaera only sees the other furies as her sisters), but they were all raised by the same woman, Nyx... zagreus and thanatos even grew up together (im assuming megaera didnt meet zagreus until he was fully grown).
this is complicated even worse by the fact that they tried to trick zagreus into believing Nyx was his mother. he realized pretty early on this was not true but like... adoptive mothers, anyone? granted i can believe that bc of the attempt at deception that probably ruptured any attempt at actual familial closeness, and it’s not like hypnos and thanatos saw zagreus as their brother at any point, so they were p much aware of the truth too. with the fact that thanatos even looks like goth miles edgeworth (im not kidding you can google him up right now its literally edgeworth in a cowl) i rly feel they were aiming for Childhood Friend Anime Rival Man than the “surprise kiss bc ur not actually related <3″ shit. zagreus never once refers to nyx as his mother in-game, and also refers to thanatos and hypnos as her sons, never his brothers.
so yeah, like. if one’s feeling generous, zagreus and thanatos are more of a “my father is emotionally closed off and neglects me so my best friend’s mother basically raised me” kind of situation... just pulled off in, perhaps, the worst way possible (why didnt they just say Zagreus was told Hekate was his mom, that’s such an easy fix? or that he was born of nobody other than Hades??? [gestures at athena])
but then, the gods. aaaaaaaahhhhahahahh the gods. demeter shows up! and she calls zeus, hades and poseidon... her foster-brothers. which somehow would make the persephone thing less fucking awful, apparently. they really. really really did not need to do that. she could’ve just said “my fellow gods” or whatever. or my “god-brothers” or something, to pretend it was just a weird god alliance thing??? i dont know but implying that foster family isn’t family is just... bro, the dynamics still exist.
Don’t Like That.
i even contacted supergiant games over this. they reassured me they were even trying to avoid the incest of the original myths bc they didn’t want to mess with such a heavy theme. i believe them... but i really think they didn’t think this through. compared to something like fire emblem fates this is nearly benign, but the implications don’t look good :/
tl;dr of the tl;drs: i admire their artistic philosophy and the heavy emphasis on fresh gameplay, characters and their relationships; i appreciate that it seems that they listen to criticism?; i don’t appreciate that they didn’t think to at LEAST talk to adoptees when making a game about family.
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Like idk what you want from me here. If you want to engage me in a specific question about ace/aro identities, as I've said several times and nobody has ever actually done, then ask me the specific question. Don't fuck around with vague gestures at Points of Discourse and then get cross with me because I haven't answered the Exact Question you Didn't Ask But Expected Me To Intuit.
Preface: If you don't want to answer any of these because you are allo/allo and don't have a say because its not your place, say that. In fact, I'm asking these because you seem to do have opinions on things you shouldn't based off things you have said in the past.
I also want to state that I agree fully with your points about Martin- minus the blatant aphobia. Not just acephobia, arophobia as well.
1. Do you think qprs are problematic? I believe you once made a post saying roughly that qprs are just normal friendships, or something like that, that has since been deleted. What is your current opinion?
2. Are het aros lgbt?
3. Are het aces lgbt?
4. Cis aro/aces lgbt?
5. Cishet aro/aces?
6. Do the spectrums and micro identities exist? You've implied in the past they don't, in the post about how they were supposedly created from sex positivity
7. Can aros be in or desire romantic relationships?
8. Can aces have or desire sex?
9. Does the split attraction model exist and does it benefit people?
10. Can teenagers identify as aro/ace or do you think they're too young?
11. Can you be, say, an aroace lesbian, or an aroace gay, aroace bi, etc. Idk how to phrase this one but like can you be aroace and still id with another orientation?
I could send another anon detailing the aphobia in the post, because I at least am certainly not upset about Martin being sexual, rather it was the very blatant aphobia. It could have stemmed from ignorance, and if that's the case I don't mind explaining it.
Ok this is a lot of questions, some with quite involved answers, so I'm gonna answer them chunk by chunk so it's a bit more manageable, and then I might come back to some of the surrounding message. This isn't gonna be an immediate bang bang bang, but I'll try and work through them over the next couple of days.
Question 1
1. No, I don't think qprs are problematic. I don't necessarily understand them but I don't need to understand them to understand and respect that they're a thing that's important to a lot of people. I don't know what post you're referring to, but I'm surprised that you say it was deleted, because I very rarely delete posts except, occasionally, reblogs where people have flagged up misinformation or dogwhistles or which I reblogged by accident. tbh I'm the messiest online presence I'm way too lazy to delete past posts or block people even when I probably should bc I don't like to feel like I'm ~hiding evidence~. So I'm not saying you're wrong, you're probably totally right, but I'm surprised.
I'm thinking about what posts I've made that you could be thinking of, and obviously I don't remember everything I say on here bc I say A Lot and I actively post to get things out of my head so 🤷♀️ but I do remember making a post a while ago where I said that it was a normal expectation of friendship to have some friends close enough that you'll live with them, raise kids with them, etc, and I'm wondering if that was the post you're thinking of? I did have qprs in mind while writing that to a degree, but only because I think 'you wouldn't do this with your friends' is a very common argument people put forward about qprs and I think it's a weak argument, because many people have different definitions of friendship, and the only argument I think is needed for any sort of I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing is...I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing. Like you can't offer a universal materialist definition of the differences between romantic, queerplatonic, sexual and platonic relationships, because the boundaries are very personal and it's really an emotional and experiential difference. so if that is the post you're thinking of, I wasn't criticising The Concept Of QPRs as much as saying that I thought trying to put hard lines around What Friends Do Vs What QPPs Do was a) counterproductive when arguing with someone who thinks QPR is Just Normal Friendships bc. if they do those things with their friends then saying NO THIS IS A QPR THING just reinforces their existing belief that you're talking about the same thing as they mean by friendships and b) to me seems to set a painful expectation to young people that you can only get these kinds of close friendships occasionally and in the form of a QPR and it will be stigmatised and misunderstood (and depending on how people talk about it, is only accessible to aspec people and allo people should only expect it to come through romantic/sexual relationships), when in fact most people of most ages I know have friends with whom they can share things like housing, deep feelings, futures, finances, who they miss if they don't see for a few days, who are mutually supportive and vital to their wellbeing. I don't think that's mutually exclusive with the existence of QPRs though - like I personally don't know what the difference is between a QPR and a close friendship, but I also don't know what the difference is between a romantic relationship and a close friendship but I know there is one and I know it's not a question of What You Do but a question of How You Feel And Interact, and that's pretty hard to define in unambiguous terms.
Like generally I don't Not Think QPRs exist, and I think it's a dick move to try and tell people they're wrong about how they experience and define their relationships because???? how are you meant to know that better than the person whose relationship it is??? but I do think the way people talk about QPRs (both from the perspective of defending them and from the perspective of attacking them) is pretty rife with problems and I don't think it's invalidating the reality of QPRs to talk about where the arguments and language around them potentially falls down or has unexpected consequences.
On the other hand, I don't know if that actually is the post you're referring to - the reason I'm calling back to that is that that and a few resultant asks are the only time I remember talking about QPRs on here in the last year or so. So like, several of these questions reference past posts, which is very fair, but I do need it to be clear that, since I don't really tag anything and I don't have a great memory, I can only really speak to What I Think Now In This Context, not to what I posted in the past and what I was thinking when I posted it. Like, this isn't too deny responsibility - I reckon I'm responsible for what I post even if I don't still agree with it, which is why I don't tend to delete my own posts on purpose - but just to deny capacity, I guess? I don't really KNOW what I've posted so if you talk about it in vague terms (and I do understand that if it's been deleted there's not a lot you can do but that) I may not necessarily be responding to the part of it that's worried you, so if I'm not speaking to something specific I've said or done, it's not because I Don't Want To, I just don't necessarily know to.
I'm waffling about this because looking through your messages there's a lot of "you said X" and like. given that the intended message of the post that's kicked this off was very different to the message people have taken from it, it feels important to me to know whether if I looked at the posts you're referencing I'd be like "ah yeah I did believe that but now I believe X" or if it's more a situation of "oh right I can see how you took X from that but my thinking was more Y".
(also sometimes when people say "you made a post" they mean "you reblogged a post" and I am a compulsive discourse scroller so sometimes I reblog a random post to bookmark my place on someone's discourse blog or I accidentally longpress the reblog button while scrolling - I try to delete reblogs that I don't agree with but sometimes I miss some, all of which to say if there's a post on my blog that doesn't seem to reflect what I say in my original posts then it doesn't necessarily mean I'm a crypto-whatever so much as I'm very lazy and messy with my blog. Doesn't mean I shouldn't be held accountable for reblogs but it's useful to know if we're talking original content or reblogs bc I'm unlikely to fully accidentally make a post. but I quite often accidentally reblog stuff. I doubt this is the case with this sitch just bc of your phrasing but I want to cover my bases)
anyway tl;dr: no I don't believe that QPRs themselves are inherently problematic, nor do I think I have at any point believed that, but I do think that a lot of the language and ideas used to talk about them are based in miscommunication or absolutist ideas about relationships and can have damaging knock on effects.
#i recognise that your past ask implied that it was somehow evasive to answer in long form#so sorry but this is gonna get loooong#but I'd rather be long and honest than say something snappy and absolutist that doesn't reflect what i actually think#so yeah this is gonna go ooooooooooon
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Simon/Oliver: Rescued
CW: torture aftermath, dissoci@tion, mild self harm mention (brought on by panic) suicidal behavior mention, references to creepy and sadistic whumper, box boy whump,
Masterlist
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“How long did they have him like that?”
The voices were quiet but they were so loud, too loud. Everything was too loud, the fabric of the blanket and the voices and the sound of the house’s heater. It was all just noise.
“I don’t know...I think it’s safe to assume it was a while, though.”
“It was a while.” Another voice confirmed quietly. “He was only this bad when they kept him alone for more than a week.”
“You’ll stay like this until you’re begging me to touch you,”
Oliver scratched at his arms, rocking slightly. Even with all the lights dimmed, everything was too bright. Too loud. He could feel the ghost of fingers trailing across his skin, all so unwanted and yet needed, needed to the point he felt like he was dying without it.
He needed it, he needed it, he needed it. Nobody wanted to touch him because they thought he was scared.
He was, but he needed this, and everyone refused to see that.
Simon was supposed to see that. Simon knew Oliver needed touch, but for some reason he was holding back.
Simon had touched him, had held him when they came back for him. But after that, nothing. Silence. He hadn’t even spoken a word directly to Oliver since they got back.
He dug his nails harder until his skin, wanting to disappear. Every little thing was just noise and noise and noiseand-
Oliver flinched at the feeling of a hand on his, then melted into it. The hand pried his away from his arm, murmuring something about not wanting him to hurt himself. It was all just noise to him.
As quick as the touch arrived, it was gone. It felt like he’d been burned, nerves alight with the pure sensation of someone else’s skin against him. It hurt so bad, but he wanted it. Craved it.
He didn’t dare chase the hand, though. No, he learned not to do that that hard way. He wasn’t sure how long it had been when they first came back, but what he did remember was the cold, solid hit from the baton when he’d tried to reach out and touch the man, desperate for something other than the complete lack of sensory input happening.
Someone kneeled in front of him, and Oliver recognized it as Sandy. She smiled, moving slowly so as to not startle him.
“What are you doing?” Someone behind her asked.
“He looked like he was in pain when he talked, I’m checking for damage. Oliver, is it ok if I touch you?”
Oliver nodded slowly, eyes still unfocused. He wanted her to touch him so bad, but also wanted her far, far away from him. Better to let her choose for him, it was easier like that. He wasn’t made to make decisions.
Gentle fingers pressed against the side of his neck, and he had to refrain from pulling away at the soft pain. Sandy seemed to notice his discomfort, frowning and feeling along his neck a little softer.
“I think he might have damaged his vocal chords, and maybe even his windpipe. There’s bruising that’s faded, and he’s got some swelling.”
There was silence after that, as if there was something unspoken they all knew but refused to admit. Simon was the one to break the silence with what they were all thinking.
“From screaming, probably.” He said quietly, crossing his arms. Oliver wanted to be held by those familiar arms so badly. “Cedr- he..he choked Oliver a lot, before. I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened, he was gone for over a week.”
“Was there ever significant damage during initial captivity that would make him more vulnerable to throat injuries?” Sandy asked, her hands leaving Oliver’s neck. She leaned back but didn’t quite move away yet, observing him.
“Nothing that ever needed emergency attention but..I’m guessing it could’ve caused lasting damage. He’s... got some issues from it. Neurological ones, at least.”
The look in the woman’s eyes was an angry kind of grief Oliver vaguely recognized, one of restrained fury and pity.
“I see. Anything in particular?”
Oliver could see Simon from here, leaning against the doorframe. His face was dark, expression pained but distant, which Oliver hated.
“Memory issues.” He murmured. “Granted some of that is probably just the facility fucking up his head, but he’s got problems..retaining things, sometimes. Forgets things a lot.”
Sandy pressed her lips together, nodding. “Part of that might just be trauma. I’d monitor it alongside the suicidal behavior, but I don’t have any concerns about it pertaining to anything underlying right now. It might just have to improve with time.”
“We don’t have time,he doesn’t have time!” Simon snapped, making Oliver flinch where he sat curled up on the couch. “They’ve already taken so much fucking time from him. What if we can never get it back, huh? At what point is he gonna be just another washed up rescue that can’t be fixed? What then?”
“Come on, Simon, don't say that. He-”
“No!” He yelled, turning away. To leave. “This is myfault, and I can’t even help fix it. He’s better off with people who can actually help him, not me. All I do is put him in danger and keep him going in circles inside his head with his conditioning. I can’t solve this anymore.”
“S,Simon.” Oliver called weakly, forcing himself to focus. He had to pull himself out of the fog inside his mind, the thing keeping him tethered down. It was heavy, suffocating, burning. But he could push through it for this. Simon froze but didn’t turn around, hands clenched into fists.
Oliver pushed the blanket aside, standing shakily. Sandy moved to stop him but Mia held out a hand, eyeing him warily.
“Let him go,” She murmured sadly. “They need to work this out. This was going to happen eventually.”
It hurt, but Oliver ignored it as he stumbled forward. He set a hand on Simons shoulder, only earning a flinch, the other moving away. Oliver whimpered, moving to follow as Simon turned a corner and disappeared down the hall
“Simon!” Oliver called out, following him. He braced himself against the wall, wincing with the effort it took to stay standing.
“Stay away from me, Oliver.” Simon warned lowly, still walking away. “I’m nothing but a danger to you, and we both know that. It’s better for us both if we just try to learn how to live without each other.”
The statement hit Oliver like a punch, icy terror running through his veins. He was being left, abandoned, he wasn’t wanted anymore. This was what Cedric was talking about. He was too broken for anyone, and people always came to the conclusion things were better off without him
“S,Simon, Simon please.” Oliver begged, stumbling after him down the hallway. “Don’t leave, Simon please don’t leave.”
He couldn’t lose him. Simon was the one person he had left that he’d thought would always be by his side, no matter what. He didn’t know what he did wrong or how to fix it, maybe he wasn’t good enough or-
Simon spun around abruptly, startling Oliver a little as he stopped in his tracks. He watched the tears start, the flash of anger and hatred he knew wasn’t directed at him filling Simon’s eyes.
“I, I hurt you, Oliver!” He shouted, throwing his hands in the air. “I dragged you down the fucking stairs and, and I was..I was willing to.. I just- I failed you!” Simon insisted, shaking his head as tears streamed down his face. “I-“
Oliver took the step foreword, flinging his arms around Simon to hug him tightly. It was a terrifying step, one full of doubt in himself and fear and uncertainty, but under it all was a layer of trust. Trust he needed to bring back to the surface.
The touch burned but he wanted it so bad, it was its own kind of loud that drowned out everything else. It was something he could latch onto and focus on. There was a hesitation, Simon tense, before arms wrapped around him in turn, and all the noise seemed to disappear.
It was quiet, now
Oliver sobbed against Simon’s chest, clinging to him as if his life depended on it. He was so scared and part of him knew this was wrong and dangerous but he didn’t care. He just wanted Simon. He just wanted his family.
He didn’t want Cedric to be able to take that from him. He’d taken a lot of things from Oliver, but he refused to let Simon be one of them.
“I don’t care!” Oliver wailed, throat burning from the pain. “I, I, I don’t c,care. I forgive you, Simon, p,please don’t go.”
He was being lowered, hugged close to Simon’s chest as they both slumped to the ground. Simon made everything so quiet again, Oliver thought to himself.
“I’m so sorry, Ollie.” Simon sobbed, rocking and holding the other tightly. “I, I’m so sorry, I thought I lost you, a,and it was my fault.”
“No.” Oliver insisted, shaking his head. “It's, it’s not your fault. C,Cedric broke you l,like he broke me. If it's not..if its not my fault, it's not yours either.”
Simon cried into Oliver's hair, embracing him. “W,why, why would you forgive me, Ollie. I, I hurt you, and I could still hurt you- I don’t deserveit!”
Oliver looked up, skin burning with the touch as he reached up to hold Simon’s face, looking over him. Tears ran down his tan skin, dark eyes full of guilt and grief and hatred. The soft, dim light of the hallway illuminated the faint freckles dotting in an odd pattern along his nose and cheekbone, and Oliver traced it idly.
“You do.” He choked out, staring deep into those eyes. “Because..because you’re my family, and I love you. I trust you.”
Simon looked stunned for a moment before he let out a noise that half sounded like a sob and half like a chuckle, kissing the top of Oliver’s curls.
“I love you too, Ollie.” He murmured, closing his eyes. “I know you trust me, which is half the problem. I need to be able to trust myself again. Then I can let you trust me.”
Oliver nodded, letting his head be guided back to Simon’s chest. He took a shuddering breath, relaxing as the tingling under his skin from the touch calmed. They could work through this. They could build that trust again, for both of them.
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Taglist
@insanitywishes @18-toe-beans @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @spiffythespook@simplygrimly @cinnamonflavoredhugs @finder-of-rings @deluxewhump @ashintheairlikesnow @briars7 @albino-whumpee @thatsthewhump
#whump#hurt/comfort#box boy universe#angst#sensory deprivation#recovery#kidnapping aftermath#my oc's#Simon and oliver#cedric#tw self harm#tw suicide mention#dissoci@tion
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Leviticus, Chapter 26
1. It's my training- I find With polarizing factors- In essence, they are Attentional. And lo, we're on to how pandemics End, And where I say that I find it normal To see false flags on everything. The victims Are disseminators In isolation stasis, As believers are cast into many Disparate factions- desperately seeking Their own audience and fracturing Reality in their processes. They plead the cause of a deepening iniquity As to a factor for relief, But maketh of ye here, no idols, no bones about it; And rear thee up no columns, No analogue that might measure or mock me with restraint; No feat that might inspire ye to fall, For tis ME. And all of you Need fear More Than hope Now.
2. And here Moses might only be seen In the reflected beam Of his own headlamp, As by it he travails into The little that it casts, For, tis about time we said Goodbye to Sinai, And, having toyed with the pretence, Admit that it is no place to biggeth of a home. But, let us first cut our losses With the aforementioned, spurious Sacrifice.
3. Then walk in My statutes, And in effect, I will take the lot. From Exodus through Numbers, Leviticus Shall appear in the role of Mose's malignant, Functioning as something of a priest in prototype, Here, used for example of what is otherwise superfluous.
4. Thus shall he chafe, at first, against the thing at work- Twas the people who provoked him into the begetting Of a golden idol, whence he went before them and said, - For whom does it end, and who as so doth get to decide? I'll give ye the reigns to such a season as they be deigned for, And hence hath he tapped into some rural frustration, By atleast pretending to pay an attention Unto those who'd’ve had it That they were deserving of an attention, And hitherto presuming That they were getting not of it, Because it was a given that it be going unto others.
5. And, warming- Threshing Shall verily reach unto the vintage, No timescale shall lie upon our dessert, And thence, that it should there suffice And be so furthered of a surfeit also- Sick and tired of winning. There’s an uncertainty about the path That goeth forward, which was always there, But masked By Mose's exceptional approaches from god, With troubling things to report From the frontiers of the rhyzome As dictated by him from a distance; Be it tented or from way up on Sanai. More to the point, with Aaron found in a position Where the idol he created is out of his control, Mose is perhaps more eager now than ever To retain his grip on the base, so To the top of the Mountain, where he again Is lolling with a god who has legacy to defend, And from where he’s tolled upon the god, Who now hath a record of statutes Which need be ramified over time to maintain The same supplication from the base hereunto- By a means that looks increasingly precarious;
6. And still he blew- I can cause evil beasts to cease your path, And slope away, out from the land, So be it a safe space for thinking, yet, Even before Mose had left Egypt, Aaron was charting a course that would bring his horn to clash In conflict with the legacy his brother hath sought As that from up on the mountain. - He, without standing- Made Manifest Destiny As Aboriginal Calamity; Lo, that He should speaketh Only through ol' measly Mose, It’s sick. It’s a sick joke- that’s what it is, And it’s not a joke as far as I’m concerned, It's April the first.
7. And Mose, as responding to winds only when forced to, Is always leveraging to give away the wiggle room For people to interpret his position however they would. He’ll say things vaguely enough to send one message Unto his base while maintaining deniability when questioned By Dr Moloch, with, - we were able to pivot, _, But here, defending himself publicly against his former compatriots, Who had criticized him as a “rogue” and a selfish coward- And of Denver Riggleman hath he chastened as an enemy unto the good, That he shall fall before you as from a sword; where swords believe not... Because sometimes a little bloodletting...
And he trails off...
8. But, as marketing hath recently divined unto Me, In allowance that there shouldst be For a different kind of people to be present at storytelling- The national need for experts in critical languages and other regions- Go thither - that it shouldst not always be Mose, As effective a spokesperson as he fairly is- - We wouldst be able to pivot, deep Into a different frontal cortex and through The past year, shew how powerful our mind could have been, So Denver giveth five of you wriggle room to chase a hundred, And a hundred of you are now chastening of ten thousand; As so shall I up thee thy ante, And my enemies will fall before you as by a sword, For I thought it funny- that there could be no room For anybody who should come As would be so dumb as to think it real, But, lo... it's complicated. When ideas are swords, there broods a tribal metaphor, Absorbing the recondite and thus blooming the tribe, trained To a stream of algorithmy on a fact-immune, ignorant, Analytic white paper.
9. Lo, and compliant with the photograph, I shall have respect as unto you, And make a fruitful of you, and multiply the effect of you; And shall establish My covenant as parley with you; However, with you there, shall I stop- And if you shouldst know of an influencer, That goeth as amongst you, It is upon you, to cut them off, And cast them from the convention, To leave them afloat In the void of their influence; Know me, you are not missing out. And they looked at each other
10. And carried on through A buildingsite for hackers, unto The streaming platforms, as linkethed up Among these sealed back channels, deep In amid online influencer culture, As aideth escape from our antibodies Who deeply infringe into the working of others, Which I see no incentive in trying to dispel, Saying- ye shall eat old-store pottage long kept, And ye shall bring forth such vintage from before the new; The seed shall be my seed and my seed only; me a monothe, find There are plenty of such who want this pandemic to continue; - 'Exactly.' ...But it's not us. - 'Exactly. Thanks to you, Dr Moloch.' And away I rode As quick as I could.
11. Lockdown is as a low gloss and of loss- Gratitude, thank you, thank you, 80 neg 95 from the day before, My soule shall not abhor you In these toxic patterns thrash, For even though there's darkness, Let it be as such that is found exhilarating; For there's nothing like a sword to save us.
12. I will walk among you, And lo will I figure the triggers That allow keeping it alive in a tiny form. A worldly preserve from a range of exotic, begotten In order to find what goes on in the yard; As without ever leaving The bold tent of meaning, Where the project itself shall take care of me. I must not run out; The shelf of ideas must not be let empty.
13. When people ask, ‘When will this end?,’ They are asking about the social conclusion, Where the real answer Is very close To the wrong answer. But you’ve all been doing it, in various ways, And that's evinced as an important reminder Of what we are yet culpable for. Go upright- the answer Affects us all; Differently.
14. But! lo, A better question might be About the so-called-end, Dr. Moloch, he sayeth, - For withdrawal Is a-talkin' 'bout affect- Oh, pay no attention to changes.
15. If, enervated in heat, Wounded with guilts, Stained with sins, An image without a caption, so advanced That all she could offer were comfort care; An hour later, declare the epidemic as so over- Here, as memories are going to be difficult to archive; For the seed hath been sewn by the hackers, Where hackers had shewn a new level of stealth, For they had bade a solitary star, As softly warn on solar winds, To infiltrate networks, take The footprint far, far from Babylon, Raise columns and fresh idols- With such malware attached As may still be working.
16. Then I will appoint terror, same, Death be a-killing people- Catenated, then moderated, then killed off: Lost in the entropics of cancer That so maketh the eye to fail And the soul to languish; Thus, this incident with the Golden Calf , The incident as so nearly brought God To deracinate intrigue, where nobody new Walked in on our room for all our wide length of time; Who- who would escape the crime for a role in the affair ? Aaron was not the teflon idol-maker his resilience, Built, as of an impossible Self-reliance, should determine him to be; Aaron is eroding. And he shall sow your seed in vain, For my enemies shall maketh a relish of it; Then needst I seek for your polluted replacement; Catenated, then moderated, then killed off: The human condition shall not save itself, Ellis said; I find it normal.
17. We are told to use a common inference to decide Whether an aggadah be taken as lateral or vertical; And once you've come to smelt the rood, Drempt of the chundering of swords, Quietly dumped the lot that was- The wild dream, thus superseded With a totem dream- you turn, bearing An unforgotten, felt as a missing, As so make you up to grab of it back- Loss.
18. The calvary the calvary- To characterize this away from me, If amorality be light years over the sky-effort of casting an opinion onto everything, As all be bedraggled before the judgment Of its own rhyzomic scruples, Then I'm not passing nothing; I don’t do horses, ok, Should the fox be all of one beast You me, as the cavalry Charge Decidedly, then seven times worse- Know of our own action, a fiction; I wouldn't say we'd be comfortable In the skin of it today, or ever. If.
19. And I will bust the pith of your power; And I will glove your heaven with iron, And your earth will be rung like brass. Why not? Nobody’s coming round my house. We kept moving, flashing in at the high post. Sparks of titanium came over in a shower, Mose was feeling plangent And understood that the rituals of hegemony Were both ridiculous and necessary; filled, If pulled and scrubbed of reference to _, It was a lot to deal with- Open it, he said, whatever it is. - Did not convince them.
20. Entropy. A runner with beautiful legs- Unsure why I was called here: I can't see any questions You haven't attained a ransom for; Is there reason to speak If it isn't with answer or question?
21. And if ye walk cater-cornered unto Me, And will not hearken to My rune; I will bring seven times more plague Upon your, as-yet-unvisited, doom, Each according to your ills in the manner apt as I see them; Why, lo! Me? Sanctimonious? Is it a sin? - It's ridiculous That you should think To hear the voice of god, Opined Leviticus, - When you don't even know What I've come to mean. - If I am deluded, And I am speaking counter-wise to my meaning, Then who is it who is speaking? And if I walk contrary as to myself, And I am deluded, Who is it that should so moveth, as within me? Nae, you are deluded- You were not deluded, and You have not reached the threshold of paradox; Someone is coming to help.
22. As i stood on Bilston roundabout, No chance of a crossing- Cars Fast revveth they past- I smelt the sting Of their kind of damage; I looked into their eyes, They had an inkling To what's going on. The Golden Calf- Loss.
23. But they're just hire vans Picking up wood and what have you. So Belisha was a beacon on the road to captivity, I fear for the understanding and the regard Of increment and consequence, Now endentured within the culture, And exhibiting an inordinate amount of animus To conventionally pollute the landscape; I too have proved dependent On lorry drivers. Still no?
24. Then I'll do the crab, And I'll drop you again, A fulle seven times deeper in, Among the analogue of what Streamed out of the book of Leviticus- Manifest Destiny, Aboriginal Catastrophe, Rout the field; the rave plague- Widescreen monoculture; No one's coming for us.
25. So hear The horror At harvest time- Of produce Being plunder, A proof Upon the alter That poses itself As a given Which isn't to give.
Your past is unintrudable. Until that they come.
26. By suggesting an invalid value As to the nature of the work, I pool you into the conceit via the threat of its loss; There, lost, found budded and blossomed, Producing the taste of ripe almonds, It's base near the solar wind farm, Whispering soft that shepherd is a crook. And, woe is me! but, worry not, I aim to set it up as something, for a while. Where bread of bread be broken and never enough, Even though all women bake forever at once. Exodus hath let his rod turn unto a snake, Then stretch itself out in order To bring on the first plagues; May hey go pound sand.
27. Still? Really? I defy you, Creeping normally over Hebron In fear for the understanding and regard -As I told you- Of consequence and increment, Endentured in the culture; An inordinate amount of animus exhibited- And a swordly sword upon you- saying you're gone When you're not even off the sacremount. A vengeance of a covenant I'm unsure that you've ever agreed to, But the veil has been bought over- Pestilence and loss.
28. Furious, me, Seven times seven times seven times worse. i.e. as optimized to amplify outrage, unearthed, although, I'm not sure I've invoked enough dimension to illustrate All of what should be press-ganged unto the frontal lobe.
29. Eat your children. There- that's me. I'm my own actress.
30. And I will devoid your high places, And cut down thy sun-pillars, Leave you a skeleton crew to a ghost ship, Intemperately adrift.
And so the carcass wore on, And so hath foundered against the carcasses of idols; And so His soul hath fairly abhorred me.
31. Loss, loss, I'm not sniffing. Slowly go back, A little bit broken, Caution is the easiest option; A draggyness will reinforce a positive While performing an unintended habit; It’s not enough to treat either of us with the end of the week- Make sure the reward is something i experience as of when you are amid your behaviours. No, I'll say it, Die at the tent of an open market, Between repetition and habit formation, I shew correlation, that is not causation — Not with the repetition, for lo, I'm emotion- I will always be idiopathic- Think it a divine dispensation. So tired of the restrictions I declare the end over, And, that the virus continue to smoulder, All characteristics in being so mutable- Then Moses stood in the door of the tent, Amid multiple failed predictions, - I deserve the ability to return to my life.
32. There is a number we can all be comfortable with. Have it then, So bad as to make your enemies feel some for you. And who goes looking for replacement? Speak, and he spoke, That "something big" would partake; That a truth would emerge "next week". Some of those watching the mountain from afar Came to consider, at the end, - That, looking back, we have a weak narrative. - We have a weak narrative.
33. Scattered among the nations- waste-spaces. Some say a prediction of entropy is as the general theory Of a safe bet. What may be looked upon from within The tent of meaning to be a magical, Mystical voice of secret wisdom, As sayeth we needst people push'd unto an inflection point, Where that they pick up a stone, find another and thither lay hands- That, as a weird snake, goeth crazy and kill Itself, Aaron became spokesperson for a fish oil supplement Made up of sophisticated spies who spoke foreign languages and travelled, Which, when filled, if pulled and scrubbed of reference to a golden calf, Could descry my covenant of such that We're determined not to be, By our psychological nor pathogenic ends, But by the primary given of our socio-political twin-set, As ever, we, ridiculous, replacement and necessarily, Can go pound sand.
34. It's all about sevens, in sabbaths- I warned you, you owe me a desolation, Old saying, “Spy one, ring one, leave one.” For a sabbath is my parle with dust. Should you push back against the notion of endings, What are you thinking to be, as thus pushed back against? What are you claiming when you say, No, no it isn't ending?
35. Desolation is rest, Even the rest of a draggyness, And like most things will be, Twas named twice- Once in ignorance And once in knowledge, Which it got not on your busy weekends, when ye dwelt, While otherwise engaged, upon it. If the Act gets signed, It’ll be today; Or tomorrow. Not a day later; Before we hang up, he mutters, - Twas a smuggler what done it, And needst be taken out In the name of Babylon;
36. For I shall send a faint unto the heart of the remainder In the lands of those jaded by you; and the sound of the driven leaf Shall give chase; so away do you flee, as one fleeth from ideas of a sword Or a satellite-controlled gun in the sky, Where no terrorists are present on the ground. And so shall fall they, when none pursueth, as by the draggyness Of where we're OK with a god watching over us, Because he might maketh protection of us, By shewing no incentive as to try and dispel, And by this, the virus hath gained Our blueprint for its future, Where Dr. Moloch just said - This is this sort of conflict now- That each epidemic amplifieth the next, From where all epidemics begin, anecdotally- In China.
37. And they shall stumble, one upon the other, And so through a very depressing time, when Everything is read about, and only of how Everyone's at loggerheads And nobody's cooperating with anybody. So hie, on Trump Time? But! That’s then, The suspected culprit, be it Hackers and their alleged paymasters, The smuggler what hath done it Or more malign actors- it's No reasonable person. No reasonable person should be found liable. No reasonable person should be found liable to believe it. - Did not convince them.
38. Here Aaron hath a parting message for those who might still be caught upon the roiling forums of this sort of carcass, as he once was, - Don’t leave your habits to chance, To be a derision among My enemies— It is not real- I did not think, until the very end, that it was necessarily for me to maketh the call On whether to blow it all; lo, Tiny Habits. Twas a wonderful opportunity to be deliberate. Easy, it is, to fall in line with peace and society and be so mindful. Where the lights returneth to the eyes, That at this moment, remaineth dormant. Perish, and I shall eat you up.
39. No, pine away; with thy fathers pine inside of a tree. There's a need here, so be ok With a god that watcheth over, because he, Before he role-played the insurrection and ransacked the seat of the tent of meaning, Said that the human condition cannot save itself, That our memories are going to be difficult to achieve, So now we're lost to workshops, listening sessions, A training in equity, inclusion and cultural awareness- As unto the host, the producers and the skeleton crew, And here the real answer Is close within The carcass of the other; The parody to the tragedy, Closer than is comfortably recorded By the ummim, the thurim, The uncomfortable fascinator- The wriggle out Did not convince. Focus on the wrong.
40. So to the Sacrifice, Which is short, and for a sacrifice of well-being, Sins of the father and of their own as, finally, confessed- - You’ve been killing yourself for the rest of your lives By going after the big calf, even in jest; I don’t think we’re meant to do a life alone, While community support can be really empounding. Then Aaron invoked the analect of What was hitherto only alluded after- Lord shew mercy o'er the soule Of poor olde Martin Elginbrod, As He would do, as He is god and You, but Martin Elginbrod. Nae, no sacrifice- god can furnish himself.
\/\/\...Major disruption expected until end of service... Someone is coming to help.../\/\/
41. If your intelligence... Doesn't move... At the speed of your lips... ... Then... That's not to say... And so ... won't be said... I suppose... It's not hard to... Overflow... U's address- - It's outrageous; who gets To claim the end? As Dr. Moloch skewered, - Where U's Without wiggle room; then Why would you release this information if it wasn't true? - It intrigues my botherance and no more.
42. There's a vacuum at the top that can always Be rendered to the service of sociopathy- So Aaron had reached the merrye age of 123 when on his back, Forking it over, he remembered the covenant; How transacting with God had always left him feeling dubious- At once on the bum-end of a raw deal and at the same time, A confidence trixter; that he was present only as a matter of course, As would allow for the whole to happen and what else? I got a shot of the obligatory handshake- it looked obligatory. I will remember the land.
43. Lo, for the land, the land as she lie Forsaken, shall late enjoy, in finding Return on her sabbaths in desolation; And they shall repay of the crime by iniquity- A draggyness, and then an emptiness, A peace and a solemnity. Oh my sabbaths, my covenant of sevens, Leave you me memories, On remember the land, How pandemics End, For they who to decide, And as go pound sand, Because, even because of thee and thy Rejecting of My ordinance, and then all souls abhorred, All lost, for The attention economy Where holes get called into question, Then provoked, Beyond their outskirts Flash.- I used to run. Leave me you memories. And the land- lyrical several hundred miles westward went we. Where failed mechanisms Are left to turn as ever Then, by the cypher, Reprise to page one, But my sky bolts- They are not regular And cannot be relied upon With your imperfectly leaky recall, Unqualified insight and inadequate processing- Tis an inapt power.
44. Still, for all that, I'm with you, yeah- Why, if I sell you a pipedream That will last you out your days; Which, smiled at, across your ashes, As with a wink, so with a nod, And then that, with a fondness, thus wains;- Will it not do? A 'freewill', as a given, unto you, As also upon the universe, Whereby bestowed Within a periodic Doubling to chaos, As might interpret the efficiency Of its instruments and Deny you the myths; Let to live among bad ones. Might.
45. The weight of a human collapse Is quite light, And leaves not a trace in the ground. I lie on the bank, benign Beneath the long, lean, slantage of the sun. So Moses disposes Of my properties from here; It's good bye to the Umim and to the Thurim. My brother writes my will best, As he once bade sacrifice of me; So smite him, for I'm still a grudgeful god, Still, mostly, I'll be thinking about Egypt, I find it my Culloden, In other words, An end can occur not because We grow tired of the mode And learn to live with the damage, But, In moping that fate should be The brighter star, Get on.
46. The cave closed behind Mose On his retreat from Aaron's bier, through the thickening air; And what of the Urim and Thummim- stripp'd When he wenteth so, as before the store? Aaron's memory was left for people who came after him, The pillar of cloud which proceeded in front of the van As god disallowed, disappeared with Aaron's death. Coincidences of events form the structures of time-space and give, In inference, to the retched conundrum Of how to respond- the 'you are the same of a different Stage in the only narrative there goes to tell' notion- Sinai. At another site gazelles were found At the feet of several burial mounds- - Why'd you bury them there? Enriquez enquired. - Has to be a reason. But a hypothesis is An implicit bias to begin; Hard as it be To set off without one; a return to the rushes, To the brushes- Been moiled among words For a little too long. The angel's death march On the day of revelation; the path of obsolescence To an end of ministration; god actively bows, And then obliterates the lot of them.
Why bow? He ponders. Ponders? Never. Sorry.
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TLNM musings, part 2
Okay, here I ramble about problems with the movie. Ended up adding more stuff since I first wrote this :’P
Screentime and characterisation of the other ninja:
One of the biggest complaints from fans... they're all introduced individually with very different personalities, they’re told they each have a special element they control, making you feel like they should each get some moment to shine and affect the plot of the movie, but then none of that happens. Ultimately you could take out all the ninja and the story would be the same, you don't even necessarily need them for Lloyd's character since his journey of reconnecting with his father and bringing his family together can still work without them. It's so sad because if you read and watch extra material, you can tell thought went into their personalities, but we never get to see this as they're all just lumped together, mostly there to support Lloyd's development.
For someone who hasn't seen the show, it must feel a bit off seeing characters with distinguished personalities and no payoff for it; take Zane for example. Imagine not knowing anything about the characters and seeing one of them is a robot, for some reason? You wonder why he's a robot, what significance that has for the plot and why it's important for his character (I mean they missed a big opportunity to develop Zane from always trying to fit in and seem like a “normal teenager” to accepting that he's different but that that doesn't mean he's less valid), but then this really specific characteristic is never expanded on except for comedy purposes. People probably thought “oh, guess it makes more sense in the show”, but this just detaches viewers and makes them feel like they're missing something if they haven't seen the show beforehand.
Sigh, still gotta give the crew credit for fitting in a load of little subtle details about the ninja, I had to rewatch it a couple of times because there were things I didn’t notice at first, like Kai sliding down a bannister in the Temple of Fragile Foundations and falling off :’D
Group dynamic:
Another thing that bothered me is that the movie isn't that good at making you care about them as a team. They're already established as friends but I wish there were more material showing us how much they care about each other. The Kai hug scene was 10/10 but then when Chen and the other cheerleaders started picking on Lloyd, nobody said or did anything? In merchandise it said Kai is a hothead who isn't afraid to speak up or stand up to people, then show it in the movie! Him and Nya should have been on the verge of tackling that guy to the floor! Ok, I can see Lloyd asking them not to get into fights as it makes people hate him even more and he probably feels guilty if one of the ninja gets into trouble because of him. This would still have given more emotional connection between the characters but we're never shown it, except in the novelisation where Cole tries to block Lloyd from his locker so he doesn't see the insult written on it, I think. But again, we shouldn't have to read/ watch extra material for that.
Instead of moments showcasing the ninja’s friendship and close bonds, we got the opposite- everyone turned on Lloyd incredibly quickly for one mistake. Sure, it was a pretty big one and resulted in Garmadon taking over the city and their mechs being wrecked, but Lloyd was the only one doing anything about Garmadon at the time and he didn't exactly know what the consequences of using the ultimate weapon were; it's not like he knew it could potentially hurt his friends. In fact, how did the ninja know he used it anyway? That would mean they already knew about it and what it could do, yet Lloyd was not told? In which case, how can they blame him?? Damn it Wu, why couldn't you just tell Lloyd that using the weapon would unleash a cat that could destroy the city, instead of vaguely saying the weapon can be dangerous in the wrong hands. That's taking too many pages from TV Wu's book!
Honestly, it's like the ninja were just one character either shunning Lloyd or supporting him, depending on what the plot needed :/ That scene where they're talking with Garmadon while carrying him through the jungle really rubbed me the wrong way because first, no one seemed to care that Lloyd is so snippy because he's been forced to work with the man who made his life hell, and second they joke about Lloyd with that very same person and imply they don't respect Lloyd as leader, as Jay says he doesn't usually want to listen to him when he's talking? What??
Lloyd and Garmadon’s relationship:
I mentioned this in part 1, but they really didn’t execute this well- I feel like they had so much fun playing up Garmadon being the worst dad in the world that they forgot to give him redeemable qualities. It took me a second viewing to realise his relationship with Lloyd was actually pretty messed up, because they played off his despicableness as comedic and glossed over it by suddenly giving him a flashback to make it seem like he’s sorry. They wanted to go for the father-and-son-have-issues-but-reconnect story, and had Lloyd say “I wish we didn’t have to fight all the time” in his emotional ending, but that’s a line usually present in a daddy-issue story where both have a part to blame and there's issues with communication. In this, though? Lloyd did nothing wrong! It was just Garmadon being trash, and there wasn't even a particular scene of him recognising and apologising for his actions- not the bit about driving Misako away, but how he treated Lloyd after.
The message is all mucked up - hoping to find some good in neglectful parents is just gonna get you hurt, and in a story like this it would make more sense for the protagonist to realise they don't need validation from this guy, shouldn't feel like they have to keep connected with toxic relatives just because they're family, and that they should focus on the friends and family who actually love them (although, whether Lloyd's friends were even portrayed as liking him is a different story). I mean, Koko could just teach him to throw and catch! Does he have to have two parents just for that?
Tone and humour:
I think another main reason this movie didn't do as well was its more childish tone and dialogue; unlike the previous two movies, it was marketed at younger children. One of the main reasons TLM and LB were so successful is because of the self-aware jokes that could actually be enjoyed by adults too, while in this movie I may have properly laughed only a couple of times. Plus, in its effort to connect with kid's humour it just got cringy in some parts, like the Ultimate Weapon compilation. It would have been funny if it was ironic, like Amazing World of Gumball style, but it just didn't come across like that, so I can see why many jokes fell flat for older audiences.
People probably had different expectations for the overall tone as well- everyone loved the previous LEGO movies because of their constant barrage of action, witty jokes and a ton of references. This was never the selling point of Ninjago, but TLNM didn’t manage to capture the show’s dramatic style and deep lore-driven plot either.
The writers:
Okay last thing. This movie had three directors, six producers, six screenwriters and seven people working on the story. Compared to most animated movies, that's a lot, and its shows. It feels like they had a few different ideas and themes and couldn't quite patch them together, with vague messages like “looking at things from a different point of view” being thrown in as well to try and link it up. I guess at the end of the day, this is a father-son story, and that makes it very difficult to fit in a power-of-friendship plot at the same time, but still. Also, the shifting plot and ideas is really clear in the trailers, I mean half the stuff there wasn't even in the movie, it's as if the entire story was changed!
Final verdict? I think an overall theme with this movie is that the writers wanted to overhaul Ninjago to introduce it to new viewers, but also wanted to keep the fans happy so shoehorned in lots of elements from the show without giving them enough development. This just disappoints fans and alienates general audiences, which is a problem since Ninjago doesn’t have a huge following already backing it up like LEGO Batman did, and could have been the pilot for more original LEGO lines making it to the big screen. It was a technically amazing movie, with beautiful animation and visuals, an epic soundtrack and stunning voice acting, but it was also such a waste of potential.
The only other thing we can do is think about how it could have gone differently, so here's some of my ideas :'D
NOT using the deleted time travel plot. I know that after being disappointed in a movie you welcome any alternative, but giant mechs were already a big deviation from the ninja theme; flinging in time travel as well would be too much for non-show watchers. Plus, I thought we were all complaining about how time travel in Ninjago always just messes things up :'P
Also not following the show closer. We have over 10 seasons of the show, the whole point of a movie is giving a fresh take; using a giant snake or the Overlord possessing Garmadon again would just be boring.
Delete the first act? One of the best parts of the secret high school heroes trope is seeing how they juggle both lives, if you're gonna drop it after half an hour there's not much point of it being there.
Could instead just have Garmadon attacking again, the last invasion attempt being ages ago. Maybe the ninja rediscover a rich history of elemental masters protecting Ninjago when Wu decides to get a new team together to fight the new threat?
Make it about learning master building instead so they build their mechs at the end, and then gain elements in a sequel?
Or don't mention anything about elements and have every ninja individually go through an obstacle to obtain an elemental weapon, then they all lose them but don't know they're not necessary, so it's actually a surprise that the power is inside them? Everyone gets a sort of true potential moment?
Ninja having to warm up to Garmadon's son, so we have a plot of Lloyd slowly gaining their respect and becoming leader?
Higher stakes at the end, make the Shark Army more threatening and have them turn on Garmadon using Meowthra, so there's still an intense climax of the ninja fighting the army before Lloyd reaches Meowthra and gets his emotional ending?
Get rid of the live action sequence, or make it fit the message of the story more?
Feel free to add any ideas/ thoughts!
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Episode 162
Honorable mentions:
Small bit on John up here concerning what I said last episode because I didn’t want to ruin the flow of this post with this, but when John kicked the Joker impersonator, I knew that the old John is back. Like for certain, I just got this feeling. John may still feel like he’s running from himself or that he might be able to fight back like I brought up last time, but the thing is: John’s already lost the battle. You can’t run from yourself and you certainly can’t fight your true personality with one that’s entirely false. I’m not sure if it’s better that John doesn’t understand this or not.
Honestly, can we go somewhere with the Leilah thing? It’s just sitting there and, I don’t know, it’s not interesting anymore
Sera (as promised):
Ok, I know a lot of people have been getting worked up recently over Sera and her whole perspective of the situation at hand. And I have literally not talked about it yet. So. Yeah. Here we go
If you read the top comments, you know that people are upset and sympathetic towards Seraphina, more so than any other character currently. And that’s for a reason. Seraphina has had a rough couple of months. She lost her powers, got bullied, got harassed, got kidnapped, and then soon after, she finds out that her best friend for a long time, someone who’s she’s probably connected with more than anyone else before in her life, has been lying to her about himself. And not a small lie either. A lie that totally changes the entire meaning and foundation of their friendship. Not only is John not a cripple, but he is currently the most powerful student at Wellston and is using his power to anonymously assault other students. And it’s not like John shares anything with Sera, like his issues with the hierarchy (excluding a few comments here and there) and the majority of his thing with Arlo. Sera knows the truth, but she doesn’t actually have an explanation, which honestly is so much worse.
And the thing is, John still hasn’t actually told her himself. He’s still putting on this facade for Seraphina, not knowing that it probably hurts her the most. Because if he didn’t tell her about this, then there was this whole possibility that he was lying about other things that he also didn’t tell her. I don’t know, just… things are looking pretty shitty for Sera atm.
In this episode particularly, when Seraphina interacts with John, she seems angry and cold. Not in the way that she used to be before she met John or even when they were friends, that was a different, more apathetic feeling. Now all I’m getting from Seraphina is attempted indifferent anger, but even here you can tell that her emotions really are acting up in this. She isn’t able to pretend she doesn’t care.
Anyway, Seraphina gets really vague when talking to John, hinting however she can that what Tuesday is doing is foolish. One line in particularly is aimed at John. “Nobody’s safe anymore. So much for trying to live a peaceful life, huh?” It’s calling out all the times John has said all he wants is to be left alone by the other students, that all he wants is peace. Because, like I said, Seraphina hasn’t talked to Arlo yet (something that better be a thing soon. Maybe next episode. I don’t know. I’m not reading it until I’ve finished). Sera doesn’t know that the whole reason John is acting as Joker is because Arlo dragged him into this (not exactly, but both John and Arlo feel this way so).
All she knows is that her friend has been lying to her and still is about something so earth-shatteringly huge. The whole basis of their friendship is being stripped apart because of this secret and John doesn’t even want to tell her.
So: Sera also tries to get a reason out of John for why he’s doing things as Joker by asking some random, suspicious questions like “Was all this intentional?” About the consequences of Joker’s existence. And I don’t know I guess John doesn’t really suspect anything too bad with Sera, but honestly, are you dumb. Anyway. This is about Sera. And since we are at the end of that hallway scene it means we’re moving on to that infirmitory scene, the one that really had the comment section bawling.
I know I’ve been making a big deal out of how John has impacted Sera in the last bits, but honestly the loss of her powers seems to hold an even deeper significance to her, I feel. Sure, she cries for John and he’s on her mind, but below all of that we always see her thinking about her powers and I really think that that is really the thing that turns everything sour for Seraphina. Ever since she lost her powers, she’s had to get used to feeling helpless and less than before. Seraphina was raised to believe that her power made her special and that because of it, people would expect a lot from her and she would have to deliver. Sera was told that her powers meant that she would always come first, in everything.
This involuntary loss of her powers has in a way stripped Seraphina down of everything that made her special, that made her her. She had always identified with her ability, even when she decided she didn’t want to be queen anymore and started to hang out with John. She still walked around like she had purpose and like she could fuck up anyone she wanted. And she could. That was just who Seraphina was. In the beginning of the comic, the only way students would refer to her would be in whispers or calling her “basically a god.” That’s. Who. She. Was.
This bit isn’t articulated very well, but I’m just trying to stress the meaning Sera got from her powers, and now that they’re gone, it’s like everything in her life has suddenly become unsteady. Like even though she’s faced so much, it was only after her powers were taken that everything became so much more harsh and real. Now, there’s no safety net. In this episode, Sera thinks, “I was able to stay strong because I thought John would always be there with me. But now…. After seeing the truth… I’ve never felt so hopeless.” This quote emphasizes her hurt about John’s betrayal and her hollowness because of it. But the fact that the only thing holding Seraphina up was John after her powers got taken away is astonishing. It’s hard to believe, when I read her in the earlier chapters, that she would need someone other than herself for anything. And it’s because her powers are gone.
One of the more substantial pieces of evidence is when Seraphina asks herself, “What am I even supposed to believe anymore?” She doesn’t have anything left. She had her powers. And then she had John. What Does she have left?
Anyway I know I should talk about Sera more and what she’s growing through, but the thing is: I think I have an answer to my question and I would much rather talk about that. I’m no good at talking about feelings sorry ;-;
Theory:
Okay: I’m very excited for this. And when I thought of it I was smiling and stuff ok.
So: you know how the comic is called UnOrdinary? The flashbacks in this chapter of when John and Sera were talking about the actual book UnOrdinary make me think of something.
Is the comic re-enacting in a way the story? The book of UnOrdinary has always been so puzzling to me. It’s existence, it’s reason. Because why would uru-Chan name her comic after this one book? At first, I thought it was because it was John’s inspiration and he was going to use its morals to make the world a better place like he talked about, but that’s clearly wrong now.
I think that the book UnOrdinary itself, as an object, is not important. And it won’t be very much so for the characters. I don’t think we’ll see much more interaction with it in the future. I think, however, that the content, and not just the moral message of the book is directly guiding the story of the comic.
Every once in a while, I’ll say, “Why don’t we know how the protagonist dies in UnOrdinary,” and I’m sure by that sentence alone, it’s pretty clear what I’m thinking. Anyway, I was always confused as to why such important details were kept out of the story because if this book really is important to the story, which it has to be, why is there like no information about it. All we know is that the main character, “was the most powerful yet he still listened to others. And through that he realized everyone has something valuable to offer.” (Direct quote from flashback John in this episode). So: that was suspicious.
And that’s what I’m here to talk about. UnOrdinary as UnOrdinary.
The thing is, all this emphasis has been put onto John in regards to the book. His father wrote it. He’s read it countless times. He admires the hero. We’ve been tricked for so long that the protagonist John, but its not. That literally screams anime cliche and the whole concept of UnOrdinary is that Uru-chan wanted to write a comic that would make fun of anime stereotypes.
I believe that Seraphina is the protagonist that represents the protagonist in the book UnOrdinary. It makes sense because in John’s words, “He was the most powerful… yet he still listened to others. And through that… He realized everyone has something valuable to offer.” And as the story goes on, it’s obvious to see that Seraphina is progressively identifying more with these traits. She’s teaching low-tiers how to fight, trying to convince John that violence is bad. All John ever did was ignore the other “low-tiers” despite apparently trying to act like the UnOrdinary (book) protagonist.
Also the way that Sera thinks of John’s betrayal as if he was playing a part suggests that he himself was trying to be the main character.
This does bring other questions though. Will Sera get her powers back? What about the whole idea that in the book, the protagonist is the only person in the world that has powers? Is that some cruel twist of the current situation?
Is Sera going to die like the protagonist of UnOrdinary?
Okay I’m tired so I’m leaving this here. Because my writing is really bad today and I have homework.
I just want to bring something up quickly that’s a little more short-term. I know Seraphina has been watching John. John’s been dropping hints, but his actions don't align with what she’s saying. I’ve already said she can’t trust anything he says now and she should figure that something else is up that she doesn't know about yet.
I think that Seraphina is going to finally uncover John’s past. The stuff we know from Arlo and Isen, but maybe even something more. I want Seraphina to meet Claire.
That’s it because I can’t properly explain my ideas, but yeah. See ya soon for the next episode review. Probably won’t be tonight but who knows.
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