#its ok! i have no mental illnesses anymore.

[crescentmp3]

fighting for my life in here (doing homework that doesnt bring me dopamine immediately)

[batz]

-

[not-equippedforthis]

6, 10 & 29? :)

HELLOOO

6 - 3 nice things about myself, non-physical and physical. i'll do three each! since i'm trying to be nicer to myself!

physical:

- i got glasses the other day and i think they look adorable, i love how they look on me

- i think my eyes are my prettiest facial feature, they're blue and quite round and i like how i do my eye makeup too (rose pink eyeshadow + small black eyeliner makes them stand out nicely and that's usually what people compliment :])

- i generally like my body shape. i'm working out more too and seeing myself become more flexible and toned is actually really satisfying

non-physical:

- i always try and include everyone in conversation or ask them what they were going to say if they were cut off since i know what it feels like to be excluded/feel like youre the tag-along in a friend group, or be nervous to join in

- i'm good at a range of subjects and tasks and i'm good at picking new things up quickly: new hobby every week core

- i'm a pessimist at heart but i try and make light of situations, since i know that also picks other people up (my mum always makes the worst out of things and it drags my mood down a lot so i try and be as forgiving and optimistic as possible - honestly, a lot of bad situations can be made funny with the right people and mindset. obviously sometimes frustration is warranted and unavoidable, but there's almost always a way out! having it start raining and immediately hear someone complaining for 10 minutes is kinda unecessary imo. enjoy yourself!! its fine!!)

10 - something i'm excited for

well, my friend and i are planning to go on a road trip up to scotland or somewhere similar once we get our drivers licenses and go sight-seeing! we were thinking february next year but we're still deciding

im also gonna try and bake some bread, so im happy for that :] i already bake a lot so i figured id try. also watching stuff rise is fun

29 - morning, afternoon or night

this depends heavily, but for me i stay up at night cause i want to avoid the next day and its the one of the only times its quiet, and the afternoon is a weird spot for me. i'm not really a morning person but i appreciate the morning? the sun's rising and there's still time and everything's peaceful for a little while. so i think morning.

thank you for the ask!! <33

[krillrot]

all these coding classes lately remind me that i gotta work on my website sooner or later...

[rapidhighway]

i have to go get a pen

[homo-house]

i guess the pills have just decided to stop working altogether what in the world

[dorkicon]

(stares at the wall) jesus christ i need to update my askblog

[phagodyke]

tried going to bed early bc ive just been sitting staring at the wall or my phone all afternoon but it's been 3 hours now and I can't stop crying. :(

[deus-and-the-machina]

never forget what they took from you (cloud strife’s purple one suit jumper thing)

[itsalwaysdark]

have i ever related to any other characters ... who remembered

[oflgtfol]

the office environment wasnt hostile or anything its just physically it wasnt very entirely comfortable. it was in the basement of a newly constructed building so the walls were like sterile white and there was no homeliness to it and then because it was the basement it was lacking in both A. sunlight and B. ambient noise, because it was so infrequently trafficked it was just so damn quiet. it was just a strange environment i guess and so because it was such a specific niche environment i cant help but associate it with that specific mental health period of my life and so im so afraid that like idk just the like. the weird white sterile lighting will just trigger my brain to be like oh its suicide time. UGH

[schwarzeneggr]

slowly voicing my concerns abt being handicapped and iv been treated with nothing but understanding. Everyone keeps tellin me to get on benefits lol cause we are SO lucky to have social security and access to meds and such its just... I already have a handicapped status which I am ashamed of. Anything further paperwork wise is just a valid on INK confirmation that the me from less than 5 years old is dead. That in 5 years I have become. a fucking handicapped bitch !!! Thats litteraly what I am. There are things about me that are wrong. And I have to make do. Great. Fucking great. I used to dream about matching my peers and becoming a wonderful animation student and then master. And I'm learning that my dreams were in vain. That I had no chance to follow up in the first place. That their improvements are constant and exponential but mine take 5x more time. And the worse is that they always did. So I always did 5x the work because i REALLY wanted to be fucking good. I wanted to be Louie Zong man. But I no longer have the energy. If i socialize for more than 5 hours one day I need an entire day break from that. I need immediate silence after idk. overusing my ears or something. I cant look in the eyes anymore im in kaput mode. Meanwhile people my age have an entire portfolio, have worked on multiple projects that have been available online, have build up experience, edited graphic novels .... What the fuck. All I have is yaoi. 🫥 there isnt a word to describe how pathetic i feel. I am dust on their boots. If I cant physically follow then why do I still have the same ambitions ? Why cant i fucking give up the desire to become GOOD. not iust GOOD but like NOTEWORTHY GOOD. Wat am i looking for but the love i have lacked while growing up. Its so annoying. wats the point dude. let go. i am average. not even noteworthy bad. just not noteworthy. and 11 y old me is just looking down at me

[skybluekoneko]

Man I was sick for most of this week, still feeling sick but I need to work on that presentation now either way since I only have one more day for it. On the other hand, one of my very few friends admitted themself to a psychatric clinic some days ago and another is like almost at that point now. Thats like half my friends I wont have around for the forseeable future...

[kittycatcarla]

.

[firebuug]

I AM SO SORRY FOR RBING AND NOT SENDING SOMETHING FML anyways 🔥 🌸 🌷 for the jumbo ask game!!!

HELLO HI this is an old ask but ITS OKIEEEEEEE sorry i just got to this im on my puter :3 here is the ask game. i will use eva just because he's the one most living in my mind rn. under da cut

🔥 Give us a list of general likes and dislikes, such as colours, textures, music, weather and other stuff!

ooooo. ok well at first eva's like "i cant like blue that's too obvious my hair is blue my favorite abno is blue i am blue" but he likes blue. he likes blue. he also likes shades along the white and black spectrum they look nice. pleasing 2 the eyes. he likes cloudy cool weather bc it isnt too bright and glaring like the sun and it isnt rainy pouring bothersome mess. he was raised by rich minimalists so a lot of his likes and comforts revolve around classical music, minimalism, things being neat. he hates it when things r messy and disorganized but unfortunately he ends up living with someone who can be messy and disorganized and eventually he is also messy and disorganized because he is a tired professor with so many fucking paperworks

he likes very smootg textures like silk and polished marble. hates gooey sticky textures or rough textures that feel all jumbled like tv static. velvet is fine

🌸 What does your OC’s voice sound like? Their laugh? Are they good at singing? Do they have an accent?

OURGH eva's voice is low, but not bass low he's a baritone. it's lower than julian's and lower than like buggy/skuggy's but still has the ability to go high. it's very. controlled and regulated in terms of volume and pitch and it can sound bored or blunt and impatient to others when just speaking normally but that's just how he speaks. he is a good singer because his parents wanted him 2 be good in both the arts and the core subjects because that way he'll be respected in richpeople land. if i weren't a coward he'd have a (not super heavy) german accent bc his family was german but alas. his laugh is mostly just like an exhale chuckle. he chuckles. but when he laughs unrestrained it starts out loud and tapers out to just giggles

🌷 In what ways would your OC alter their body if they could? How would they do it using mundane means (hair dye, surgery, make-up?). What is their ideal look for themself?

ideal look is a generic skinny tall white guy with short black hair and nondistrinct features in suit and tie with always a serious unchanging expression. ideal look is also a strikingly gorgeous man with long hair and bright eyes full of life with zero stains of capitalism or trauma to be seen within them and smooth skin and a good back. ideal look is also a macintosh computer. ideal look is a mirror reflection of himself scribbled out and ripped to shreds. his sense of self is nonexistent and inconsistent and he doesn't want anything to do with it

if he had the ability and unlimited access to totally free, risk-free, reversible body modification he would be swapping out his look every hour. this is why he distorts into a giant messy jumble of wires that never stays in one shape or color or form

without that fantastical ability i mean he probably just wants to get a nice haircut and a spa treatment and hide under a bedsheet forever

[bugintheruins]