#its not worth it and ur not going to get what u want out of that
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theloveinc · 4 months ago
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act i scene i: older, childless, bachelor Barbarian!Bakugo finds you six months pregnant hiding in an empty stable during one of his clan raids--and instead of slaughtering you as a much younger him might've done...he throws you onto his cart of treasures and decides to take you home so he can start the family he never had with you and your child as his bride and baby.
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boxwinebaddie · 5 months ago
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Wait so did Ike knoww about Stan and Kyle dating? Also I'd love to hear abt Kyle and Ikes sibling relationship thats so adorable
soooooo long story short:
...y-yes. yes, he Does know.
hOWEVER, IKE DOES NOT KNOW RAVEN IS STAN THOUGH, THAT IS SENSITIVE INFO THAT IKE CAN BE TRUSTED WITH, OFC, BUT IT WOULD PUT HIM IN DANGER AND KY WANTS TO KEEP HIM SAFE.
but long story Long...
i'll leave it in the crotch. xx
( edit: so...my bad, baby. i accidentally went on a crazy TANGENT about ike and jerseykyle's relationship bc i love them a lot and their dynamic is very complicated, so if you want that info about how ike found out about ravesey dating...i gotta put it in another ask.
bc this...got Very long.
you don't have to read this. soz. >.> )
oookay!~ so i got REALLY excited about this because rm!jerseykyle and ike's relationship is super duper special to me, in that, as sp fanfic writer girlie who tends to lean away from a more gentle, kindly, introspective kyle and much more heavily into the potential brutal parts and menacing aspects of kyle's personality when i develop my style dynamics with, ofc, jers being the most brutal of all ncu kyles...
...the way that he speaks to ike -- gently, softly, tenderly -- the way that ike disarms him, the way that j.k. unravels around ike, bends for him, it's one of the ONLY instances written into my actual published canon where we see jers be extremely vulnerable. ( not crying, lmao! )
however, i will say, it was not ALWAYS like that!
*rings the cd re-education bell*
LORE TIME!
so, per my rm!take on the south park lore, ike, ofc, was adopted from canada around age five and he...was Perfect. he was this lil gorgeous, perf, lovely thing, no health problems, dark hair, i like to think his eyes are dark brown, closer to black, sweet kid, easy-going...
...and very NOT like kyle.
and, interestingly enough, i think, At First, that sheila and gerald were super obsessed with ike, cooed over him, he was the baby, y'know? which made jerseykyle MAD jealous of ikey and an Anti from day one.
which is also v interesting because rm!ike, really just fkn Worshipped jerseykyle, wanted to be close to him, wanted his approval, craved that brotherly relationship with him, idolized him...and kyle was NOT having it, dawg! like, it took him so long to even let stan in and let his cold, black heart be light and bright enough in some spots to do That, so he pushed ike away, constantly told him to fuck off/get lost
( i do think that ike's vocab being more vulgar/him being precocious comes from wanting to impress kyle/being influenced by him ), also ike was really fkn smart from the jump in a way kyle wasn't like, to me, jerseykyle has worked hard for everything, studied hard, fought hard, and ike was naturally a child prodigy and didn't have to work that hard for anything, all while being gentle and docile and kind.
-- but going back to STAN for a minute...as a direct contrast to how jerseykyle treated ike growing up...gods angel saint ravenstan was always EXTREMELY KIND to ike. stan never had a brother: okay, he had shelley but his relationship with shelley was even more complex than ike and kyle's relationship used to be and the way shelley treated ravenstan was similar to the way jersey was treating ike, so he Deeply Sympathized with that and endeared himself to ike, encouraged him, and the more kyle pushed him away, the closer ike got to stan.
stan and ike i think ALSO had very similar interests in that they both liked louder, heavier music, revolutionary/counter culture stuff, fighting the MAN, sports ( namely hockey ) i think as a gift, actually, that ravenstan gave ike his wayne gretsky hockey yersey and ike STILL has it ( yes, kyle was jealous ), stan encouraged him to be different and carve his own path in life and while kyle, obvi, was the person most effected by stan's untimely passing...it did also do a number on ike who seriously considered stan like a brother to him and was one of the only other people who Never misgendered stan.
SPEAKING OF STAN DY*NG THOUGH: this was when everything sort of...Flipped. because when stan 'died', whatever part of kyle that could love things also died with him along with a lot of his stability.
so on top of all of his health issues, kyle got really, REALLY gnarly ptsd, would fly into blind rages, got randomly triggered by things and see stan everywhere, have really, really sever panic attacks, had to be put on several medications, got into TOOOONS of fights, etc.
and ike...was just sweet, introverted, lovely ike. stayed in his lane, did his work quietly, existed quietly...while kyle was Loud and VOLATILE.
also, to tie in Another ask where someone asked me while sheila didn't take care of ike as well as she could...fair warning, i am a liiiittle defensive abt this topic because it wasn't that she didn't want to take care of ike or meant to neglect him AT ALL, it's just...when you have a a child who has a lot going on mentally and physically, is more of a firestarter, is more aggressive or more outwardly mentally unstable...
...that tends to require more immediate attention ( especially since kyle was sooo unhinged that he was constantly in police stations, juvie, the psych ward ) and sheila's attention more helicopter parent-y in that she wanted to keep kyle safe, whereas geralds attention was more negative, felt kyle was a failure/embarrassment :/// </3 )
so ike, by COMPARISION to jersey, was VERY low maintenance, did not require to be constantly watched to make sure he didn't hurt himself or others, and so, unfortunately while sheila loved him very much ( gerald just wasn't very interested in him as the second kid other than that he not act up/argue w/ him ) he got swept under the rug because of how pliable and pleasant he was personality wise.
so sheila really does Adore ike, she just doesn't worry about him nearly as much and because of how glaring jersey's issues were, she also mistakenly assumes he's mostly fine where...i really do think ike has pretty gnarly depression, tbh. he is stan coded, i mean that. i will say that him acting out is starting to cause a stir in their house.
anyways...i am sorry this is such a MESS but jerseykyle was watched with laser focus and because of this, ike got off scott free most of the time and received almost no attention. like all his accomplishments went unnoticed or were pretty normalized because the standard he set v young being smart/capable, set the bar high. ilysm, ikey. </3
tldr; ike was The Good Child
and jersey was The Bad Child.
but, in being 'good', he got extremely overlooked by his parents.
thiiiiiiis...is where jerseykyle stepped in. so basically his entire life he was staunchly anti-ike, but he warmed up to ike a lot after stan died because they bonded over talking about him a lot/that grief, and also grew up under intense scary jewish matriarch sheila broflovski and the serious shit show that was having gerald as a father...who jersey actually regularly took shit from so ike wouldn't have to, i.g. when ike did something less than perfect or did misbehaved or fucked up, kyle always took the fall for it and was the messed up problem child, so that ike would essentially spared from gerald's mental abuse/wrath.
ike was also kind of the only person j.k. had in the world, so kyle looked after him because...again...ike is very stan coded, kyle is very protective of the lil gentle hearted people and he basically raised ike in the stead of his parents which forced him to be hard on him in a way that sheila and gerald were not hard on ike...which created a lot of dissonance when ike was becoming a teen and kyle was in hs.
so, essentially while when they were little kids, ike followed kyle around, wanted kyle to like him, thought kyle could do no wrong, as he got older and kyle started to nitpick him, actually care about him and start enforcing rules/curfews on him because no one else did, ike developed a rebellious streak and started to not like or listen to kyle because he was like, bro, whatever, you're so boring, it's one party, oh my god, just because you're boring doesn't mean i have to be!!!!
it's mostly just skin deep though, ike is only irritated because jerseykyle is mad overprotective, hard core and did not gentle parent him as an older brother at like, i shit you not fourteen, like i am so sorry but jerseykyle raised ike basically, and inspite of actin like a heartless monster...loves ike very, very much ( even if he can't say it ) and ike also loves kyle very much. jerseykyle is pretty much the only other person besides firkle, tricia, etc. ( i'll get into that in a diff ask ) that truly gave a shit about him and put weight behind his actions.
so jerseykyle is like ike's older brother/dad, rags on him about doing his homework and being an edgelord
( ike has been acting out a lot, one, because he's finally starting to come into his personality more, which, imo, my hc is that ike is p popular but mostly by accident sort of how stan was because he's pretty and very nice, ike is captain of the hockey team, his accent is cute, gets good grades ( he is slacking right now tho bc hes being edgy as hell ), is a lil skater boy gamer boy, IS V INTO TRUE CRIME, JOURNALISM AND ACTIVISM, creating positive change, exposing injustice, enjoys punk rock music, thinks emo boy stuff is neato,
IKE IS THEEEE DAWN SPAWN OF EVER AND I MEAN THAT, he is a raven of crimson dawn FAN BOY, he is obsessed; i mean that...and despite wanting to make waves in that way, like, he really is kind of an antisocial DORK but lots of girls like him, he gets invited to parties, firkle gets invited by proxy even though people think they are a crazy demonic satan worshiping freak of nature...but ike's super bestie, ofc...their relationship is also interesting...BUT YEAH! IKE! <333 )
also per rm canon, jers does miss ikes birthday every year bc going to south park triggers the fuck out of him which he feels very, very badly about, rags on him but is very pro ike doing what he wants to with reason of not acting like a goddamn FOOL and doing his laundry, his emo dirt bag phase is making kyle's eye twitch ooooof, him bleaching his hair and sticking a safety pin through his lip the second ravenstan walks through their front door while ravesey are secretly broken up and jk is extra mad at him; ITS A HOT MESS EXPRESS, Y'ALL!!!!
if you made it this far...i have to put the answer to the FIRST part of your question with all that dialogue in another ask so feel free to re-ask me that, but to reference it a little...ike is so team ravesey like it is actually painful, that is his ROMAN EMPIRE. firkle actually really does not like kyle bc they think he is lame as hell, help, and is anti-ravesey bc they think romance is a distraction,
( okay, spoiler, but firkle is in love with ike, ike does not know this, ike is super fkn oblivious and is actually very bi, so it's not like he's just not aware he is not straight, he just....actually has no idea, rip, he also has a crush on a girl in his class, it DOES make firkle want to actually dome themself to hear about it 25/8, stupid Feelings, smh, firkle b hating jersey and is lowkey a little jersey coded ) anyways they think kyle dating raven of crimson dawn is going to interfere with the band, their music, their sound and is a hater. like boooo! come on, FIRK! :/
BUT IKE IS A ROMANTIC!!! IKE IS THE JR. RAVESEY CAPTAIN!!!!
tldr; kyle and ike have a complicated relationship but love each other very much and ike does eventually learn about ravesey secret dating bc they are the brothers of ever and cannot hide shit from each other BUT I GOTTA PUT IT IN ANOTHER ASK, I AM SO SORRY, BABY, YOU GOTTA ASK ME AGAIN ABOUT THAT! but i hope this thrills you?
-uncle nina, ceo of insane hs isaac moisha broflovski lore
#i am sorry this was so long and i am not sure who cares#but idk their brotherly relationship means a lot to me#and ike actually means a lot to me#he is often over looked and very very lovely#and very deeply treasured by kyle kyle does call him bubeleh#which is very cute to me like ew he really did raise him#they were a slow burn brotherhood but worth it#i also do think its really cute that ike really liked stan#and then really liked raven of crimson dawn#like he really just feels the vibes huh#with all due respect tho i would also think pre!rm!stan was really cool and raven of crimson dawn was cool...he is that guy#I GOTTA GO INTO THAT LATER THO I AM SORRY I HAD TO GIVE YOU SO MUCH LORE I LOVE IKE AND JERSEY SM#ike is a raven of crimson dawn fanboy and the captain of the ravesey ship so sorry to everyone he is in the trenches#he is constantly catching smoke from firkle all the time about it too smh...also yeah firkle and ike lore...Interesting#i can also get into that if people want that again i am not sure who still cares abt ninas weird unfinished au style fanfic#ANYWAYS RM ISAAC MOISHA BROFLOVSKI MY BELOVED#jersey does eventually spill ike does wrangle it out of him its funny as fuck to me bc kyle was CAPPING SO HARD#that man was like idk what ur talking abt i hate that man!#jerseykyle is the ceo of lying like stan lied to stay Alive JERSEY LIES BECAUSE HE IS LITERALLY A BITCH ASS FOOL#WHO REFUSES TO ACCEPT THE DAMN CONSEQUENCES OF HIS OWN ACTIONS I HATE HIM SO MUCH#like ok to be fair they were fighting and jk did think ravenstan was dating call girl but SUPER BESTIE DO NAAAAUGHT#EVEN ACT LIKE U DONT WANNA VIOLENTLY FRENCH HIM#DONT TRY IT WITH ME BABY I LITERALLY WROTE U!#the drama of them being broken up and having to share kyles childhood bed and bedroom is sooo iconic to me#i know they were accidentally cuddling i just KNOW it#nasty cute disgusting boy angst jail for WIMPY SIMP BOYS#KISS ALREADY!!!!
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naturenaruto · 2 months ago
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that reminds me like if ur still younger or living with ur parents/family i think a good but of advice that i wouldve wanted to have when i was a kid and teen is that ur parents....already know everything
and by that i mean they know if ur actually sick they know if u snuck out they know if ur on drugs they know if ur lying. its scary and invasive and wrong....but they Know
my point is that if ur parents are the kind where u dont get in trouble or they dont bring it up its bc theyre letting u get away with it or they just dont care
and then for other parents who are constantly trying to catch you at something alot of times they did something Wrong like going thru ur stuff ur diary ur room ur bags ur online ur private business, which they should not be doing it doesnt matter that theyre The Parents The Authority they should n o t be invading ur privacy
im 31 and as a full grown adult™️ im telling you they still dont have that right even when ur a kid living under their roof........its privacy invasion and its a violation and its wrong and they shouldnt be doing that
but if ur parents are creeps then usually theyll try to catch u in a lie and trip u up......the key is to talk as little as possible dont yell dont get emotional distance urself treat it like its an interrogation even if u love ur parents like.......say very little answer in yes or no dont try to explain bc they WILL use ur desire to explain and try to weave a story against you! they will!
you will be standin there thinkin uve got some rlly good story and it sound legit™️ and the entire time they see right through you
i am just saying this for anyone bc i wish i knew when i was younger, just spend as little time with ur parents as possible dont argue dont talk back dont yell, catch urself as you start to feel overwhelmed, and begin to realize ur limits like what sets u off, try to leave the room as quickly as possible dont stay just to argue they dont wanna have a debate or hear ur explaination (which might not even be a lie lol) they just want u to fuck urseld over and alot if times even if ur not lying they will wear you down and work you over to such an extent that eventually you w i l l say something you shouldnt like cuss or somehing bad or mean or the truth if u were trying to lie or youll say soemthing that sounds different than you said before so evne if u werent lying theyll take that and act like u did...
just talk to ur parents as little as possible be around them as little as possible dont argue dont debate dont overexplain just use yes and no and okay
parents are constanly trying to trip u up and get u worked up JUST to have an excuse to punish you
leave as quickly as possible and dont try to prove them wrong or prove ur point i am telling u right now they dont care and they dont think ur right anyways even if u do make a good point they dont.......care
they know everything so dont try to lie just evade and ask to leave or just walk away, be really quiet and meek and eyes looking anywhere except them, dont be combatative just leave bc one of the biggest mistakes in my life was thinking i could change my parents opinions and beliefs and it. was not going to happen
theyre already set in stone u wont be able to talk them into having a conscience or empathy or morals or mercy or forgiveness or compassion or a heart........
i wish that instead of wasting so much of my time and energy as a child and adult talking to them and trying to explain myself and things i wish i had just gone back to my room and lived my life
spend that time hanging out with ur friends and reading in ur room playing games etc whatever else go outside just g e t a w a y from them.....
the best advice i have for anyone still under 18 is to spend as little time with ur parents as possible and as much time out of the house with friends or by urself even or just in ur bedroom watching tv reading learning stuff urself instead of wasting time trying to teach ur parents bc they either already know or they dont care
as little interaction with them as possible dont argue dont talk back just ackowledge them and say okay and then leave
otherwise youll end up just wasting your time and breath on people who dont deserve it and wont change anyways
obviously if you have decent parents this doesnt apply
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phagodyke · 5 months ago
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okaaaayyy finally watched I saw the tv glow :^)
#liked it a lot on a lot of levels. visuals n soundtrack n acting was great. rly subtle n cohesive n effective#i wanna sit with it a little to digest it and maybe rewatch#but unfortunately i didnt get the same emotional resonance a lot of ppl did from it.. possibly bc i was watching w other ppl#but i dont think its that i think i just struggle to connect meaningfully w things that are like. what if the choices u didnt make#alienated u from the world and ur sense of self n what if the life u were living was a hollow bubble separate from the real world etcetc#bc like yeah man im very aware of how unreal my life n the world around me feels at times. and it isnt bc im holding myself within#tight limitations/constraints in order to hide parts of me from myself or forcing myself to be smth im not in order to engage w society#like im just mentally ill n the dissociation n derealisation are symptoms of that..#i can 100% understand why so many queer ppl feel so strongly abt it n the gender stuff implied in it#but thats just not my experience of queerness personally. its never been smth ive had to grapple with much#like yeah i havent fully figured out my gender shit. but im ok w that its not holding me back from living the life i want to be living#my sense of self is just so far divorced from my physical body and the physical world around me..... idk im too tired to articulate this#but that aside i did rly like it as a movie! and it was very heartbreaking.. just not in a way that struck me super personally#which i was rly hoping it would ahh sorry everyone 😔 but hey maybe thatll come after i think abt it some more#lots of cool effects too i liked the different ways they did the moon face thing. i liked how effective the whole distortion of memory#and nostalgia etc was done visually.. aesthetically very yummy. aw man..#i didnt even cry i was rly hoping it would make me cry...... :-(#makes me feel like im missing out on smth cuz everyone else ive seen talk abt it got hit so hard by it#just made my peace w being on the outside looking in i guess.. i shook out all my regrets and what-couldve-beens as a depressed teen#n now im just here to vibe forever..... 😌 i am toooooo tired to be typing i just keep saying the same thing over an dover probably#maybe a 7 or 8 out of 10 movie for me i think which is still pretty damn worth it#okayyy brushing my teeth and going to bed cuz i wanna go climbing tomorrow so need to rest up ‼️#sorry i dont want to rain on anyones parade genuinely did think it was a great movie im glad others are feeling it so intensely#ahhhh!!!!#.diaries
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tojisun · 3 months ago
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EXPAND ON THIS
https://www.tumblr.com/tojisun/758472884430716928/no-matter-how-hard-you-try-you-just-cant-make
AND MY LIFE IS YOURS
aww im glad that u (all) liked that blurb!! didnt expect the vitriol in ur guys’ reactions but ykw? samesies <3 oki uhh so heres something quick and simple
cw: fivesome (but they go in order, also simon doesnt properly get a turn im sorry 😞); f!reader; subspace; builds up into consensual noncon; unrealistic sex; rambly as hell and its set up messily; wc is 3.6k :’3
(you tell them it’s a wrong send, and that it’s meant for johnny so they all said, “oh damn. welp,” and leaves you and johnny to go at it all night long teehee <33) (jk) (unless) (no ok im jk)
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johnny fucks you first. the guys didn’t complain, and trickled into your room, ready to fall to whatever place they could sit down to watch. johnny laughs, and tugs you towards him, gently slapping your hand away when you try to cover yourself up with your shirt, and tells them, “watch me.”
not us, but me. like you’re a nameless hole whose only worth is to be fucked, and somehow that… doesn’t deter you at all.
instead, you ignore the warmth flooding in your cheeks and the stares that drag on your body, and focused on johnny’s smirk and his crooning words and his wide palms roving over whatever sliver of your skin he can touch. he positions himself in between your legs, his fatigues an uncomfortable sensation against your oversensitive skin.
he doesn’t care. he drags down his zipper and frees his cock from his briefs, before swiping his palm on the inside of your thigh, gathering the excess lube glistening there to use it as oil for his prick. your nose scrunches when he brings his hand to give himself a quick tug, foreskin peeling from the head to show off how flushed it is.
he crawls until he’s on top of you, and throws out, “let me show ye how to fuck ‘er, yes?”
you don’t even realize the words are for the rest of the squad because he’s already slipping his cock in your cunt, slow and careful, and you keen because yessss—
this is the delicious burn you’ve wanted. oh god oh god—
it didn’t even take johnny long before you’re cumming, your throat spasming at the scream that rips itself out from within you. your hips rise from the bed, your body jolting, unable to ground itself at the breaking euphoria that forced shockwaves to raze your synapses.
you fall on the bed limply, satiation filling you up in lapping waves. johnny pulls out and fucks his fist and sprays his cum all over your stomach. he musses it up, rubbing his palm against it like it’s a damn lotion, and lathers whatever inch of your belly he can cover.
it’s gross and weird, especially as the recollection that you’ve had an audience hits you, but then johnny’s stepping back and moving away. you try to shut your legs close, but someone’s already shuffling in, taking up the space that johnny had carved out.
you stare up at your captain, shock filling you up. he doesn’t ask with words but he quirks his brow up, waiting, and you don’t know what it is, but you give him a nod before ducking your head to the side.
which was a mistake, you learn, because you make eye contact with kyle; kyle who is—was—slowly rubbing himself through his pants, his palm gliding over his chub. his eyes are blown wide and he looks ravenous as he meets your gaze.
you hiccup, feeling cornered and delighted at the same time, but then john’s rubbing his cock along your messy folds, using the mess you and johnny made to lube himself up, and you mewl, tearing your eyes away from kyle to meet john’s stare head on.
he looks… calm. not teasing nor hungry, but poised with forced grace like this is another mission, and he has willed his full body to sync together so that not even a stray strand of hair will falter and miss a beat.
you don’t know how to position that with yourself, not like you needed to dwell on it any further because john’s already thrusting in. like johnny, he is careful, but he is more cautious, pushing inch by inch without even a ragged breath like he’s scoping out your reaction before he could let out his.
god, why’s everything so difficult with him—even now, speared with his cock, you still don’t know how to react. it’s like you’re a recruit all over again, dawdling underneath your CO’s scrutiny. it’s jarring, terrifying, really, but then john’s drooping onto you, his head tipping down to nuzzle close to your jaw, and this level of intimacy is what rips a moan out of you. it is drawn out and high-pitched, and so, so utterly debauched.
you hear more than see john’s pleased laugh, his breaths coming out in puffs that brush against your neck in a ticklish manner. the moment drags on—nuzzles and quiet huffs, and slow rocks of his hips almost like he’s taking his time to savour you; to allow you to get used to his size because he’s so different from johnny.
johnny is thick, but john is long. he is reaching deeper than you have ever known, and it’s so overwhelming that you begin to cling to him, in need of any way to ground yourself down from the slow-racing pleasure.
you don’t know how long he’s got you like that, but then he’s pulling back and away, and, “nonono, please. please, sir—”
“shh, i’ve got you,” he rumbles, still so utterly quiet that it forces out the tears faster, and you know something’s changed because john is looking at you with a proud smile, all tactile as he manhandles you to your side, before disappearing behind you. you feel your head being lifted then dropped onto something harder than your pillow, and it is only the smell of ozone that lets you know that john had pillowed your head with his arm, while the other snakes around your waist to pull you closer to him.
you stare at the expanse of your room but everything looks like they’re appearing underneath a hazy filter, so you blink your eyes to clear them from that mist but it remains unchanged. you feel heavy, all of sudden, like you’re submerged in water, wading through the ripples. floating.
you try to look at the others but all you see are blurs of colours, and you know this should terrify you, you know something’s happening in your mind, but you feel so good. so happy. so you fold into yourself, accepting the haze with a keen because john’s fucking back into you.
it is still so utterly gentle, like love-making, and this makes you sob because the euphoria is dizzying and overwhelming. it is something you haven’t felt before—johnny fucks you like a man starved; john fucks you like he’s trying to meld himself into you. or you into him.
it is so drastically different, and you were made to navigate the changing tides. but you can’t, not when john—
“fuck!” you scream, thrashing in his hold, but john ignores your voice as his heavy hand falls on your cunt with consistent smacks.
you feel lightheaded, untethered, and this is what pushes you to the edge. your orgasm is cataclysmic. it’s like having the fabrics of your reality collide until you are a supernova, bright and burning and so, so, so ecstatic.
you don’t even know how you came down from that high, but when you wake up, john’s already pulled out and your thighs feel extra sticky. you sniffle, turning to accept the quick kiss he leaves on your cheek. he pulls away and you watch him sink back to the lone chair in your room, and only then do you realize he’s still in his uniform. still in the fatigues.
it makes you extra vulnerable somehow and you twist, trying to find anything to cover yourself with, but your shirt’s been thrown to the floor, far from your reach, and your blankets were kicked off the bed.
you grumble, shyness encroaching again now that there’s no one to monopolize your attention, but a movement from the corner of your eyes makes you jolt. you turn, forcing your eyes to focus, and you blink in surprise because you are sure that kyle wasn’t there before—close to your shelving that is stuffed with little knickknacks and souvenirs brought to you by the boys when they take on separate missions that don’t require your involvement.
the same shelving where you’ve plopped your charging vibrator on. the very same one that is being held up by kyle.
“kyle?” you ask, unable to say any more with how wrecked your voice has become. but the call echoes like a gunshot in the suddenly stifling room, and they all look at you as one. like it didn’t matter if kyle was the one holding the wand because they all knew what they want, and it is to see you be fucked with it.
excitement fills you up despite the throbbing exhaustion settling in your bones, and you wonder if they could scent it with the way the pressure in the room grows heavy, almost bladed—ice shards against still waters.
kyle moves towards you and your eyes track the wand, almost hypnotized by it, and watch as he drops it on the mattress to shuck off his clothes. it is only then do you turn to him, hungry in the way you devour how he moves, how he breathes, how he unbuckles his belt.
his trousers come first, then his shirt. kyle is a catastrophic wonder—seeing him naked like this makes your core throb, aching need stretching in the yawning of your stomach, because he is so beautiful, terrifyingly so.
he reaches for your waist and drags you so you’re laying on your back again, your legs sprawled out on either side of his hips. he looks down at you, his eyes crinkled in his smile. he looks so charming, boyish and youthful, and he makes you thrum with quiet desire because you feel safe even when you’re bare before him.
you feel particularly cherished, like you are the apple of his eye.
“you’ve been so good to us, love,” he murmurs, but in the silence of everyone, his voice bounces off the walls, seeping into where the others are, watching raptly once again.
you nod, not knowing what else to say. kyle chuckles, the sound trickling like quiet chimes, and you wonder if he’s doing this for you—talking to you in whispers to give your body time to come down from the tremors, or filling you up with something other than a cock because johnny had come in scathing, and john had pierced you with something consuming, and kyle—
kyle is trying to distract you.
you’ve forgotten about the toy, sitting there so innocently. it’s out of your reach, tucked preciously close to kyle’s left leg the way he treats all his smaller guns—never straying beyond his person, and hovering close. you’ve once asked him if it wasn’t more comforting to have it on him where he can feel its weight and kyle had looked at you with that soft smile like you’ve uttered something so delightful, before telling you, “there’s a certain pleasure in having it displayed.”
like a promise and an assurance—he will always be faster; the one who is more in control.
and today, kyle is treating the wand with the same vehemence.
you didn’t even know you were already shaking your head until kyle had cupped your cheek, quiet sounds of comfort rumbling from his chest.
“don’t worry,” he says, eyes blazing with a terrifying promise. “all good girls have to be rewarded.”
kyle doesn’t fuck you with his cock right away; instead, he’d bent over and took a nipple into his mouth. it makes you gasp, back arching at every wet suck. there is pleasure to derive, but it is so muted that you begin to settle back into your mattress, waiting, almost in bated breath because kyle has yet to reach for the wand.
you jolt when he finally uses his hands, stomach tensing in anticipation. but still, kyle doesn’t reach for it, and instead he swipes a finger to your slit. your pussy’s still so sensitive so it makes you buck, a sharp animalistic sound tearing from your throat, and kyle takes advantage of the sudden change in the pace.
he slips in two fingers in your cunt, curling to poke at your walls, before fucking them out—he lifts up and sucks your other nipple—and punching them back in. it’s a wet slide, each thwaps ring in your head, and you moan, clawing at kyle’s back because how could he make you feel good just like this?
it’s almost a laughable parallel—just an hour ago, you had been in the same position, with your legs parted open and two fingers fucking in, while your other hand flicks at your nipples because you had so desperately wanted any form of orgasm. god, it didn’t even need to feel ecstatic, just something that’d rip your aching need into quiet tides. and now here you are, spread open with kyle mirroring every flick of his fingers and every pinching sensation on your nipples, and he is making you feel good.
how dare he. how dare he give you unadulterated pleasure with just his fingers? how could you ever go back to masturbating now that he’s even triumphed over your previous failures, showing your body that there are ways to make your toes curl without a cock nor a toy?
how dare he—
“no!” you whine, circling your hand around his wrist when he pulls out. you were so close; its tendrils spreading all over your body in the wake of your encroaching orgasm. you thought you were going to be rewarded? kyle promised. he said so!
“oh, love,” kyle coos, breaking through the swirling turmoil in your head. “i’m not done yet, i promise.”
you have to bite your bottom lip to stop the sob that is lodged in your throat as you watch kyle give his cock a pump before lining it up with your cunt. unlike johnny and john—and the reminder that they’re there, with simon, makes you jolt for a quick second—kyle doesn’t press in slow nor gentle.
no.
kyle punches everything in. you scream, the sound guttural as you are filled so quickly and so deeply, leaving you to feel the sudden crescendo of your pleasure. your body spasmed—because there was nothing else that could explain the sensation of having all your synapses sing with a ripping pleasure—before you black out for a second.
you come to the feeling of kyle’s hand mapping your belly, digging just enough that his fingers dimple your skin. you are still stretched and stuffed, and the remnants of your pleasure fire up again.
he flicks his eyes up to you with a smile. “came so soon f’r me, love.”
your only response is a gurgle. it makes kyle laugh.
“that must mean y’r ready for something else, yeah?”
a confused whimper bubbles from your throat. kyle just snaps his hips in reply, rendering your mind shut again. you hear him shuffling against the sheets, his free hand reaching for something you cannot see, and you feel your mind pressing at its edges, trying to retrieve the memory of what it is he is looking for because you know what it is, you’re sure.
buzzing noises fill your ears, the sound ricocheting around the space, and your body locks, recollection slamming into you. you tear your gaze away from the far wall to look at kyle.
you wonder what your face must’ve looked like because kyle begins to croon.
“i’ve seen this from a homemade porn video.” he shrugs at the incredulous expression on your face. “and i’ve always wanted to try it because sweetheart, they didn’t press it on her clit.”
what—
kyle moves, his body rippling with ease. you don’t notice but the boys crowd in, interest bright in their eyes. only ghost continues to be rooted in his spot, and it is only his head tipping to the side that lets the others know he’s just as interested.
kyle presses the toy on your belly. your nose scrunches in displeasure because it just feels like you’re being massaged incorrectly, but he keeps shifting, hunting, and it’s weird because kyle’s still in you so what—
you gasp, eyes widening at the odd sensation. kyle freezes, his body curling into something predatory, and digs your wand there on your—
“no way,” johnny laughs, and you want to snarl at him to go away but you can’t because he’s right.
no way.
kyle had pressed the vibrating bulb of your toy just below your belly and slightly before your upper pelvic area—kyle had pressed the toy on your womb.
the pleasure is new, uncharted, and it is petrifying because you’ve never felt this way before. you didn’t even know it was possible to stimulate yourself there, but kyle’s already resuming the pace he’d set, fucking his cock in deeply almost like he wants to feel the buzz from within.
you begin to sob but the tears feel different this time. they’re still out of pleasure, but the swirling surprise melts the euphoria into something frightening. you don’t even realize you’ve begun to babble.
“no more!” you hiccup, weak fists thumping against kyle’s chest only to be restrained by john and johnny, each man pushing them down with their own hands.
everything feels too scary, all of a sudden. this pleasure of yours is bigger than you have ever expected and it’s building up too fast and too soon, and still, kyle remains unfazed.
“i’m scared! i’m scared, kyle please!”
your words turn into unintelligible warbles, and kyle just says how you are so adorable like this.
“y’r pussy’s going stir crazy, baby,” he croons amidst your tears and you want to scream at him, to be mad and say something mean, but you feel so utterly lost in the bubbling bliss.
it is something you’ve never felt before; it’s almost like you are relearning your body at this very moment—like kyle is unmaking you, and remodelling you, and you feel this cathartic bloating of your orgasm.
kyle sees the moment you succumbed to the enveloping terror of your euphoria, and it’s like he’s been waiting for this moment because he begins to fuck you faster. deeper. his pelvis meets the plush of your ass with every thrust, while he digs the toy further down your flesh.
how could the vibrations ripple past the fat, you don’t know, but your orgasm is building, peaking—
it breaks with another scream tearing from your lungs. this one is much stronger than the previous ones, and enveloping because it feels like your whole body has shut down in the wake of your release.
your mind splinters, your body falling limp like your strings have been cut loose, and kyle turns forgiving again because he shuts the toy down and throws it away. he pulls out and only then do you feel the trickle of his cum sliding out of you.
he leans in, brushing his nose over your cheek. then, “just one more, little bird.”
kyle slides off the bed, but so do john and johnny, and you hiccup, still sobbing, still floating from the world-shattering climax, when simon greets you.
he is quiet for a while, watching as you catch your breath. you couldn’t even stop yourself from sniffling, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes to stain your already blotchy cheeks. he grunts, hand falling to brush unimaginably soft touches across your body, observing.
waiting.
“was’it?” you finally bite out because you know simon—you know ghost—and there is something that’s sitting on the tip of his tongue that he so desperately wants to spit out.
simon grumbles, rolling his eyes.
you groan, growing impatient. “tell m’.”
but he still doesn’t talk, choosing instead to manhandle your body until it is close to him. you want to tell him to give you a minute; that you’re still so sore and tired, and kyle just fucked you mindless that you need a goddamn break, so, “s’mon, no…”
he grunts, palming along your waist, then your hips, before it stops on the fat of your ass. he grabs a handful.
“won’t you let me fuck this hole instead,” simon finally replies.
your heart lurches to your throat, and you’re not the only one surprised because johnny’s bounding in close, excited, chatting simon’s ear how he wants to go next, “please, LT?”
you want to tell him to ask you, not simon, but simon’s already giving his assent with a huff, chirping how johnny’s so impatient—a master and his dog—before they turn to you again.
it is only then do you realize that simon hadn’t been asking for proper permission; it was all formalities because he was not going to settle for anything that isn’t yes.
anal sex hasn’t been something you are really interested in; no amount of porn and online anecdotes can change your mind, but simon’s gaze is heavy. it’s final.
before you can even reply, john’s already throwing something to simon. he catches it with ease, and only when simon flicks his hand do you recognize it to be the lube you’ve chucked away in your anger when this whole night started. kyle returns with the wand.
you lay there, on simon’s lap, seeing them flanking you for this… corrupting.
“okay,” you muster, trying to stake even a semblance of control.
thankfully, they ignore the shaking of your fists or the way your chest begins to heave in your morbid anticipation. simon laughs, and swoops down to nip your cheek.
“good girl.”
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whew whyd it become a long ramble of smut??? it was supposed to be a john n johnny centric fucking bc of the prelude but alas, i needed to write a semblance of dark!kyle so here we are <3
temp taglist bc yall are animals (affectionate)!!!: @getosuguswhore @slut-lmao @mxtokko @imjusthereforkonig @bratzdolly4 @mabelwinters @stars4sar @sergeant-jasper @spiceywawa @j0r-d1e
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lewisvinga · 8 months ago
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this little life | carlos sainz x fem! reader
summary; when childhood lovers y/n and charles break up, it sends the whole internet into chaos. what sends them into an even bigger chaotic mess was the reasoning behind their breakup and who she turned to for comfort afterwards.
fc; cindy kimberly
warnings; cursing, cheating, slut shaming
taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minkyungseokie @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri
note; requested ! there’s a couple of typos on the tweets LMAO n i felt too lazy to fix ‘em🤕
masterlist !
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liked by carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, and others !
yourusername: moving onto bigger & better things.
yourbestfriend: AWOOGA
yourbestfriend: gorgeous gorgeous girls dgaf abt men
yourusername: gorgeous gorgeous girls would rather shop and drink lattes with their besties than deal w men
username: omg so it is true
username: YOU GO GLEN COCO
username: ‘better things’ CHARLES WAS PERFECT FOR U
username: any1 notice that carlos liked lol
username: he’s been following her for a few years now lol
username: just saying, why are u liking ur friends ex’s post a bit weird me thinks
username: well u thinks weird
username: ugh the makeup😻😻
username: im on mothers side of this divorce 🥸
username: whyd u break up w charlesssss
francisca.gomes: 😻😻 liked by yourusername !
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yourusername uploaded to their story !
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[caption 1; 🥹] [caption 2; men who know your worth and treat you like you’re worth the whole world and more >>]
yourbestfriend replied to your story
yourbestfriend WHOOOOOOOOO
yourbestfriend that’s a hairy ass arm i know that’s not french boy
yourusername LMAO it’s not him don’t worry😁
yourbestfriend then WHO
yourusername maybe his not so little friend
yourbestfriend oh you bitch
yourbestfriend happiness looks good on u tho☹️ tell your new man that i won’t hesitate to throw hands at him
yourusername LMAO i’ll let him know😁
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liked by carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, and others !
yourusername: i think i like this little life 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨❤️‍🩹
tagged; carlossainz55
carlossainz55: 😍😍😍
yourusername: te quiero ❤️ [i love you]
yourusername: te quierooooo❤️‍🩹
username: uhm excuse me?????
username: oh !
username: well that’s….
username: this is such slutty behavior tbh, going from driver to driver months after breaking up w her CHILDHOOD BOYFRIEND🤢
username: literally a homie hopper
username: it’s such whorish behavior 💀
username: y’all talking abt y/n when this makes carlos SUCH a bad teammate, no wonder lewis is taking his seat
username: idc what y’all say they’re a FINEEEE couple
username: LITERALLY😩😩😩
yourbestfriend: hairy man gets a little pass from me……
yourusername: LMAOOOO
carlossainz55: u don’t gotta worry abt me trust🫡
username: this is SUCH nasty behavior from both of them
username: poor charles ☹️☹️
username: i always had a bad feeling abt her, guess its bc she’s a slut
username: breaking up with ur ex after dating since 15, then a few months get w his teammate?? that’s such gold digger behaviorrrrr
username: carlos is SUCH a shitty teammate, can’t even keep his dick in his pants and goes for his teammates ex, NASTY🤮🤮😷
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liked by carlossainz55, lilymhe, and others !
yourusername: think i like this little life more ever since the truth came out and i can live peacefully con mi amor. ❤️‍🩹
tagged; carlossainz55
carlossainz55: siempre contigo, mi vida [always with you, my life], through the good and the bad ❤️
yourusername: carlitoooos🥹🥹
username: she said FUCK the haters liked by yourusername !
username: how’d charles fuck up and fumble THEEE y/n
yourusername: bc his season ‘wasn’t going how he wanted it to be’ lolllll 🤓🤓🤓🤓
username: he doesn’t deserve u queen
lilymhe: cute but when are u and y/b/f coming to the paddock i miss my gfs 🕊️
yourusername: SOON MY LOVE
carlossainz55: why’re you trying to steal MY girlfriend
yourbestfriend: she was ours first MOVE BACK
yourbestfriend: gorgeous gorgeous girls find men who treat them right after dating liars and cheaters
yourusername: 😇
username: they could never make me hate u 💯
username: now can the haters stfu and focus on HOW FINE THEY ARE AS A COUPLEEEE
username: the first picture i’m so????
username: them<3
username: good for her that she finally found someone who treats her good🥹 yall were so co corned abt charles’ feelings w/o caring abt hers😕 liked by yourusername !
username: ppl alwayssss jump to conclusions w/o knowing the truth, but at least now we know💆‍♀️
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mintydoll · 6 months ago
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also this might be hard to hear but if u are in a comptop situation and ur partner(s) don't actually know you want to bottom, if they're unaware of your true feelings, you're doing them a disservice and possibly hurting them when things finally come to a head as well. most people don't actually want to take advantage of people pleasers, esp during sex; maybe they're just being open and honest about their own desires and expecting that you're doing the same. like there are definitely abusive situations out there don't get me wrong, but i feel like in many cases its a communication issue and you (the one being cagey abt what u really want) are primarily to blame.
i know there's a whole melange of social forces that make comptop an issue mainly with trans women (esp those of us who have been victims of abuse in the past), and i find all of that very disgusting, in fact i lost much of my life to it. however when it comes to sex and its just you and your partner, you NEED to be truthful and open about what you want during sex. if you don't feel safe doing that with a partner, that's a sign that you shouldn't have sex with them. if you do that with a partner and they don't listen to you but still want you to fuck them, you shouldn't have sex with that person.
if you're going to be sexually active you need to develop self-advocacy skills as well as enough self worth to avoid just giving in to whatever your partner wants. if you don't you will end up hurt and you'll most likely hurt your partners as well.
just my two cents on the issue after having struggled with it for a decade.
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moonstruckme · 7 months ago
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oh my god i was hoping u werent sick (no pun intended unless…) of all the doc rem requests!!!
can we get not just a regular doc rem but a casually dominant doc rem. like he’ll make sure ur drinking ur water, fixing ur posture by pulling your shoulders back gently, forcing u to put on a jacket if its just a tad 🤏🏻 bit cold outside
and ofc will scold u (lovingly) in the process. fem!reader is all like 🙄 but loves how much he cares about her
You're a genius for this lovely, thanks for requesting!
cw: alcohol
doctor!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 994 words
Your throat’s been bothering you since you woke up. It’s just a little scratchy, barely anything, but it feels like an ill omen. Still, you’re not going to bring your life to a halt on the slim chance the tickle in your throat is going to turn into something worse, and Remus would never hear the end of it if you skipped out on one of Sirius’ things anyway. 
You probably should have abstained from drinking, though. You’ve only had one, but now your throat hurts worse, the music and chatter are too grating, and your head feels a tad fuzzier than it ought to. Sirius and Remus have gone from bickering about music to teaming up against James to bicker about films without your noticing, and now Lily’s offering you another drink and you have to ask her to repeat herself before declining. There’s an inconvenient ache blooming behind your eyes. 
You know you’ve been sussed out when Remus wraps his hands around your hips, pulling you into his lap. 
“You’re quiet,” he murmurs. “Everything alright?” 
“Mhm.” You leave it at that, leaning a back against his chest. 
He hums. “Did you finish your water today?” 
“Yeah.” 
“What have you had to eat?” 
You roll your eyes. Remus knows, somehow. He gives your hip a warning squeeze. 
“Rem, I’m fine.” 
“What have you eaten?”
You tell him, as if he wasn’t there for breakfast and didn’t pack your lunch himself. He nods, reassured you’d finished it all. 
“You seem knackered for only having had one drink,” he observes. 
You shrug. “I’m just not up to more tonight.” 
It’s the wrong thing to say. 
Remus hums, his grip adjusting just slightly to hold you more securely against him. “Are you not feeling well?”
“I’m just a bit tired.” 
“Dove.” Your boyfriend has several tones you know well enough to pick up on a single word. This one is all too familiar. It’s mistrustful, admonishing, heavy with the weight of implied consequence. It says, I know you’re not being fully honest with me. 
James may not pick up on all that, but he recognizes the shift in Remus’ attention, one of your boyfriend’s lengthy hands splaying protectively over your stomach. He sends you an amused look, which you return with a touch of loving pique, and then Remus is turning you around in his lap. 
“Dove,” he says again, breath fanning over your face and eyes boring into yours and overall torturously close to you, “are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?” 
You give up on denials, turning your eyes up to his pleadingly. “It’s really not bad,” you try.
Remus is unmoved. “Tell me, and I’ll say if it’s bad.” 
“I don’t want to make it a thing.” 
“You’re not. Go on.” 
You sigh, squirming under the attention you can feel at your back. Remus’ friends have continued talking, but you know his behavior has caught their attention. “My throat’s just a bit sore,” you admit, “and I guess the alcohol must’ve made it worse.” Remus sets a hand to your forehead, nodding for you to continue. “I feel a bit more affected than I usually would, so I decided to stop. That’s all.” 
“Well, you don’t have a fever.” You release a tiny exhale, and Remus’ lips twitch. “How long has your throat been bothering you, sweetheart?” 
You consider lying, but it’ll only make things worse. “Since this morning.” 
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but your boyfriend’s stare beats that easily. “You ought to have told me,” he says in a low voice. 
“It’s just a sore throat.” You roll your eyes. Remus makes a soft tsking sound that lets you know he’ll remember it. 
“I have you talk to me about these things for a reason,” he says. “Do you know why that is?” 
You’d really rather not enable him, but you’re trapped. You let your expression convey your reluctance. “Why?” 
“Because I’d tell you,” he slips one hand beneath your top, thumb sweeping across your side in the way that softens you like butter, “not to drink when you’re coming down with something.” 
“I don’t know if I am,” you say weakly. 
“Hopefully not.” Remus smears a kiss across your forehead, reaching for his coat. “But if you are, we might still be able to avoid it if you let yourself rest. Y/N’s not feeling well,” he explains to Sirius when the other boy notices his preparations for departure. “I’m going to take her home.” 
“Aw, I didn’t know you were sick,” James covers for his sour friend, who’s still looking like he might protest. 
“I’m not,” you say, but Remus ushers you towards the door. 
Lily gives you a kind look, glancing knowingly towards your boyfriend. “Feel better, love.” 
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he placates his friends, placing his jacket over your shoulders. He opens the door for you, and seems all too prepared for the argument on the tip of your tongue when you step outside. “Don’t take off the jacket. You should have brought your own, but now that you’re sick I don’t want to risk weakening your immune system.” 
“I’m not sick,” you insist, starting to shrug the jacket off despite his hands pinning it to you. “And it’s barely cold out here.” 
Remus levels you with a look. “Keep it on.” 
You huff but stop your attempts to remove the covering, trying not to notice how Remus has slowed his brisk pace to accommodate you. “Why did we have to leave?” you ask. “I’m not feeling that bad, really.” 
“I figured you wouldn't want me looking down your throat with a flashlight in front of everyone.” You purse your lips, and Remus grins, wrapping an arm around you. He rubs your shoulder through the material of his jacket. “I’m looking out for you in more ways than one, dove,” he teases, “you can trust in that.”
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beescake · 11 months ago
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i am in love with your sollux i think
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sollux love party :]
if you’re interested heres some of my personal fondness thoughts on him.. big warning for the mega long read ahead aye
as we alr know sollux's rejection of participation somewhat mirrors dave's rejection of heroism, but even without getting cooked to completion i still find sollux's character v compelling beyond the fourth wall
as someone who doesnt get a pinch of that Protagonist Sparkle to begin with, he can openly say he wants to leave anytime…. and unlike dave, he actually Can leave the scene anytime. but he can never be truly Free from the story via permanent character death like the other trolls.
his irrelevancy is indeed relevant - he’s there so u can point him out.
while his image is intended to be a relic of past internet subculture, his role is not only about hehehaha being a Chad or a 2000s cyberforum 2²chan haxxor ragequit gamebro.
his continued existence also happens to add a Bit to the overarching themes of homestuck! a Bit that gives him longer-lasting thematic relevance compared to the trolls who could’ve had more character potential but didnt get to survive beyond the main story.
the Bit in question:
his defiance contributes to the illusion of agency (treating characters = people with autonomy). he’s “aware” of it, and that recognition is worth noting enough to forcibly keep him alive as both reward and punishment.
considering how his personality & classpect is designed its definitely a very haha thing for hussie to do LOL. he’s made to be op asf so he's resigned to doing dirty work, gradually deteriorating along the way but never truly dying. as fans have mentioned before, him openly rejecting involvement after a while of grim tolerance is like if the sim u were controlling suddenly stopped, looked up and gave u the finger while u were step six into the walkthrough for Every Possible Sim Death Animation.
but since he’s just a sim… the more he hates it, the more you keep him around. if ur sim started complaining abt your whimsical household storyline you’d definitely keep that little fuck.
but yeah i like that sollux is just idling. the significance of his presence being that one dude who's always reliably Somewhere, root core Unchanged, no individual ambitions (possibly due to fear of consequence?), and design-wise: a staple representative product of his time.
compared to dirk's character, who has aged phenomenally well into the present (themes of control + AR + artificial intelligence, clearer exploration around navigating relationships/sexuality, infinite possibilities of self-splinterhood and trait inheritance), sollux's potential is really... contained. bitter. defeatist. limiting and frustrating in the way old tech is.
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the world continues moving on to shinier, brighter, more advanced automated things - minimalist and metaverse or whatever but sollux is still here 🧍‍♂️ going woohoo redblue 3d. (tho personally i imagine his vibe similar to what the kids call cassette futurism on pinterest mixed w more grimy grunge insectoid influences eheh)
conceptually-speaking,
at the foundation of it all, the rapid pace of modern development was built off the understanding of ppl like sollux in the past, who were There actively at work while the dough was still beginning to rise
thats one of the cool things abt the idea of trolls preceding humans! the idea that trolls like sollux excelled back when lots of basic shit still needed to be discovered, building structures like networks and codes from scratch, and humans will eventually inherit and reinvent that knowledge in ways that become so optimized it makes the old manual effort seem archaic, slow, and labour-intensive.
but despite information/resources/shortcuts being more accessible now, much of the new highly-anticipated stuff released on trend still end up unfinished, inefficient, or expiring quickly due to cutting corners under severe capitalistic pressures
meanwhile, some of the old stuff frm past generations of thorough, exploratory and perfectionistic development still remains working, complete, and ever so sturdy.
those things continue to exist, just outside our periphery with either:
zero purpose left for modern needs (outdated/obsolete)
or
far too important to replace or destroy, bcs of its surprisingly essential and circumstantial usefulness in one niche specific area.
which are honestly? both points that sum up sollux pree well.
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dramatic ending sorry. anw are u still on the fence or are u Sick abt him like me </3
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riaki · 1 year ago
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nice boys and sour hearts | satoru gojo x reader
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wc: 4.6k cw: minor swearing, he refers to u as 'momma' once (its normal i promise) n i think thats about it post suguru defection, shoko typical smoking ; no established relationship b ur def more than friends
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i didnt want this angst to be too intense so i made it super duper fluffy. hopes it tastes like strawberries to u cs it does in my head ; another one of those fics i whipped up to meet the weekend deadline b i’m actually proud of this one not proofread!
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satoru hates arguing with you.
it bites at him; twists his heart from the inside out in such a gut-wrenching way that he can hardly stand seeing your nose wrinkle in frustration and your eyes narrow with impatience, let alone hear the words coming out of your mouth, dripping with venom and irritation directed at him. he's never been used to being on the receiving end.
it tastes sour; bitter on his tongue in a way he's never been accustomed to. his tastebuds only recognize the sweet taste of fruit syrup, powdered sugar, or warm chocolate as home; he never indulges in the bitter, like the black coffee the kid he took in seems to like so much. but he'll take the silly sour lemon drops with sweet cream in the center, only because they remind him of you. you, so sweet when you love but sour when you're annoyed, which happens to be now, in this instant.
of course, he'll tell himself he doesn't mind. that sweet and sour have always gone nicely together. like strawberry lemonade on hot summer afternoons when the both of you have had enough of being stuffed into a clammy hot classroom with your musclebrain teacher. sometimes its the three of you, maybe even the four of you if you get lucky with the pixie stick trade offering (a healthier alternative to a cigarette, you both agreed on). but nowadays, it was only ever the two of you. the bitter had chosen his own path, and tangy was locked up in the infirmary sun up to sun down.
but right now, you're upset with him. and he absolutely despises it— to him, it's abhorrent. a strong word, but it's only fitting. but he can't help it when your conversation lingers in his mind, spinning itself a web of self-doubt and hurt and anger as he slips his gym shoes off and redresses himself by the school lockers, running a hand through his hair with a forced, annoyed exhale.
it was nothing big, really. or at least, that's what he thinks. you'd been in the gym after school, watching as he messed around with the basketball, seeing how long he could go dribbling by himself with a bump of his knee there, pushing it to the floor with his hand and watching it bounce back up with mild interest. he had no one to play with, but at least the ball would come back up no matter how much he pushed it down.
it was small. barely worth fussing over.
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he had already been irritated. it was hot out, because summer was coming around. sweat beaded on his neck and rolled down his chest, seeping into his shirt as he wiped his forehead and made another shoot at the hoop, landing back on his feet with a soft thud as the basketball rattled around the rusted metal ring and fell through the net for the nth time that afternoon.
a hum of approval comes from your throat, followed by a loud whistle of contentment from him as he watches the ball bounce on the floor. he hikes his sunglasses up his forehead, bringing an arm up and wiping away the sweat on his cheek with his sleeve as he turns to look at you.
"that was pretty good, yeah? i think i deserve a celebratory smooch. lay some sugar on me, momma'." he laughs, loud and arrogant. you just give him a pointed look at that, but he ignores it as a sign for something wrong and only acknowledges it as your dramatic endearment. like speeding up at the sight of a yellow light in hopes that you'll make it instead of slowing down at the warning.
his shoes made squeaking sounds on the gym floor as he made his way over to you, swiping his shades off his face and sliding them onto your forehead, nestling in your hair as he grabbed a rag from the bench and wiped the sweat from his jaw. you have his uniform jacket on your lap, the yellow button glinting in the dying sunlight filtering in through the windows, reflecting off indiscernible flecks of dust in the air.
you had watched him with quiet contentment, observing the languid way he moved, graceful like a dancer moving in water. but then, you seemed to remember something; his lips pressed into a thin line, tilted to one side in anticipation. it made you hesitate— he always knew when you were about to speak before you even opened your mouth. he had come to notice, and appreciate, little things about you like that.
"were you smoking with shoko?" you had asked him. he tilted his head, eyebrow cocked up as he made a face. "no, i wasn't. why d'ya ask?" he huffed, watching from the corner of his eye with mild disinterest as the basketball, still rolling from his previous goal, bumped into the wall. cocky as ever.
(he wouldn't even look you in the eye when you were being dead serious.)
you reach a hand into his jacket, fishing around for something in his pocket; that gets his attention. who knows what trinkets and candy wrappers he has in there? and he'd hate for you to send him to his yearly checkup early again; the nurses always try to coddle him, and he has half a mind to charge for battery. nevertheless, he almost mistakes what you pull out for a lollipop stick. but it's not— it's a cigarette; a white papery hit of cancer with a dead cherry. certainly not a wise idea to keep that in his pocket among the other very flammable wax wrappers and the occasional flower petal, but who were you to judge? you, who's lips pucker like they've just tasted lemon juice when he eyes the unlit cigarette, utterly unamused.
he knows that you know it's his; the subtle glistening of pink around the end points to the gloss on his lips; he can practically taste it on his tongue. he wonders if you'd put the cigarette to your mouth too if you could have a sample of his lipgloss; then again, you could always just ask for a lip-to-lip taste, and he'd indulge you without a second thought.
you twist the cigarette butt between your fingers so that he can see the remnants of faint strawberry pink on the edges. he just rolls his eyes with a loud huff, leaning his weight back on his heels and shoving his hands in his pant pockets.
"yeesh. you're such a goody two shoes, y'know? how come shoko's allowed to smoke 'n i'm not?" he drawls, an arrogant lilt to his voice as he sticks his lower lip out. you can see a matte spot where the gloss had been transferred to the cigarette paper. you just sigh exasperatedly (he feels like a kid when you do that) and lean forward, resting your elbows on your knees. his jacket bunches up in your lap.
you tap the cigarette to his chest a few times; it makes a soft thumping sound against the fabric, and for a moment he's grateful of the noise; it sounds just like the way his heartbeat picks up with each touch, but you don't hear it. he wonders if you ever will. maybe one day, when there isn't so much distance between you and he has the opportunity to tuck your head to his chest, right over his heart.
"it's not that i care about the lung damage, idiot. why were you smoking?" you asked, voice softening. and he absolutely hates when you do that, because it always pulls on his heartstrings and brings a flush to his face, the way you treat him. he thought that if you did it enough, he'd be sent to the doctor for heart palpitations instead of a sweet tooth.
he doesn't answer you at that. how could he tell you, when he knew all that'd result from it was a thorn in his side? you, being the rose. so beautiful but awfully prickly and unfairly sour like a lemondrop with a sweet inside. then again, he'd much rather have your interrogating care than lose you, like what had happened with the reason he was trying out smoking in the first place.
then, it happened— your voice went unbearably soft, like puffy white covers and featherlight pillows with silk covers on a saturday morning, looking out the window to see pink tulips against a cloudy blue sky as the sun streamed in. it almost made him want to clutch your hand over his chest and see if you could feel the way he was reacting. no doubt, it was filled with such patient tenderness; all-encompassing sweetness it made him want to cry. so he coughed to cover it up, averting his gaze and bringing one hand to his face to absentmindedly smooth down the strands of damp white hair hanging over his eyes.
"thinkin' about suguru again, are you?" you asked gently, tucking the cigarette back into your pocket—yours, not his—and reaching out to take his hand.
his lips parted ever so slightly, gaping like a goldfish. he knew he looked silly, and he should've been okay with that— because being vulnerable with you, out of everyone he ever knew (with maybe the exception of one) was easier than breathing; came more naturally to him than his gravitation to a challenge. the same could be said for sweets.
(maybe he'd have to re-evaluate his proclaimed taste, then. since you were more sour than sweet.)
but this time, he wasn't okay with it. it had been hard to talk about what had happened with suguru one year ago since— it formed a nasty lump in his throat, bitter like black coffee and the wrong mix of herbs. it made him feel weak. reminding him of his shortcomings, which, in his mind, shouldn't even exist in the first place. but you never had a problem ripping his problems from the shielded cavity in his gut, bringing them under the operator's light to dissect and solve like a surgeon. forget about forcing him to the doctor's— at this point, you should be the one in the white coat, not shoko. he thinks about what you'd look like with blue gloves on your delicate fingers for a moment too long.
"what's it to you?" he snaps back after what feels like three years of his life. his fingers tighten around yours for a moment before he pulls his hand away abruptly.
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the frown that lingered on your face from then on had been burned into his memory.
and, well, that was his mistake. it spiraled from there— because he knew what it was to you, and he hated that. hated that you could see straight through him like a cloud blue stained glass window; without rose colored lenses like the ones he always wore (the ones he rocked, he thinks).
a crack of thunder overhead jolts him from his thoughts; he couldn't even get in there to dust the spiderwebs away before being jerked back into reality. he clicks his tongue in disappointment, watching as the skies pry themselves open and rain begin to fall in the way it only did over heavy summer showers. he wishes the sky would stop its weeping, but even the strongest has his limitations.
but it doesn't matter. he has one of those cheap plastic umbrellas he'd bought from a convenience store one day in a late march many moons ago, during the brightest blue spring of his life. and so, he didn't understand why he was lingering at the door, swinging the umbrella around his fingers by the hook on the handle, watching as the rain fell with increased fervor. there was no plastic button to keep the folds tied up, so it floundered around with each swing like a tulip bent by monsoon winds. maybe on the coast of some faraway land with windmills and fields of flowers. he wonders if he'll ever get to see the world with you someday— a fleeting thought that crumbles instantly when he conjures your pretty face in his vision, clear yet distorted like a reflection on a glazed pond, rippling water from the dragonflies that skipped over the surface.
you were definitely still angry with him, because you hadn't showed— normally, you'd walk home together. sometimes with shoko, if she didn't leave early. angry words echo in his mind, the image of your downturned lips swimming in his bright vision as he watches the rain streak down the window panes by the lockers. there's a fog settling over the grass outside that's sure to leave dew after the storm. he wonders when that'll be.
"why can't you ever take me seriously? can't you see i'm worried about you?"
"of course i can. but i don't need your damn concern!”
...
he'd been sorely mistaken, that was for sure. loosing his cool and snapping at you wasn't exactly something he took pleasure in, either way. he leans back on his heels, tapping his foot impatiently as he holds the umbrella like a cane against the floor. infinity could probably do away with the rain. another reason as to why he's not even sure why he's waiting here, or why he's holding an umbrella. perhaps to keep in case he has to offer it to some poor, shivering and cowering young maiden lost beneath the shading of a bus stop behind a curtain of rain droplets, with a charming grin and a wink.
maybe.
a shuffle behind him catches his ear; he turns his head, an unamused expression on his face as his eyes drift over the empty room to land on you. the shadows beneath your eyes are prominent, and your hair is unkempt. there are sleep lines on your face; you probably fell asleep in a classroom somewhere, which is why you delayed.
it was evident you weren't expecting to see him, though— with the way your eyes widened a little before they dropped again, nose bridge wrinkling slightly as if you'd caught the scent of something unpleasant. your eyes left his, and he felt a little disappointed as he watched them wander toward the window, where the current downpour was prominent. he didn't like the way it made his chest pang when your attention was anywhere but him, so he raised his hand lazily, tilting his head to catch your attention that he so clearly craved.
"yo. got an umbrella?" he calls, tapping the tip of his budget cane on the floor. the thud is the only sound for a while as your gaze wanders back over to him; reluctant.
"no, i don't. i didn't expect it to rain so hard today." you responded quietly, stepping over to him with a small sigh. almost a little resigned, he thinks. he can't be sure, though. he never is with you. doesn't know whether to expect his candy to be sour in the center or the other way around; but maybe he likes a bit of uncertainty every once in a while. (not with you, though. if it means arguing? never with you.)
his sunglasses are hooked around the collar of your shirt. he doesn't know why it takes him so long to realize, but when he does, he has to clear his throat in an effort to hide the heat on his face and do away with the blush. "here. take mine. i don't need it," he says curtly, offering his umbrella to you. he wants to snatch the shades from your shirt, but he doesn't want anything to go wrong, so he just eyes them warily, careful not to let his gaze slip past into anything you'd be pissed at him for.
you eye him, eyes narrowed as you raise an eyebrow, but you don't protest. your fingers brush against his for a brief moment when you take it, shaking it a little before opening the door and stepping outside, opening it up. it looks like a little clear plastic mushroom cap over your head; you're short enough to constitute as the stalk in his eyes. it's a little funny, but he has to stifle the laugh bubbling on his tongue lest you think he's making a mock of you.
he follows after you, slipping past to stand at your side with his hands in his pockets. you can't help but feel a little curious despite your prolonged anger (you like holding grudges, he knows), so you sneak a glance upward to satiate your wonder. you don't expect him to look as breathtaking as he does.
the clouds are light overhead; they're not a heavy blanket of gray anymore, and a small strip of light manages to push through, shining on satoru's pale white hair. you can make out the edge of his undercut against his neck when the wind picks up a little, the color of fluffy white clouds on a lavender sunset with the sway of yellow flowers beneath an expanse of a bright sky. there's a little cat hair on the collar of his jacket; you realize with a faint flush that it must've been from when you were holding his jacket for him in the gym. somehow, the cat you have at home found its way to satoru. you hope your pet has become a matchmaking fortune teller, for the sake of your happiness.
what catches your eye the most, though, isn't the cat hair on his dark jacket or the faraway look in his misty blue eyes; it's the outline of rain water around him, a product of his infinity, you realize. he's dry underneath the downpour, and it never ceases to amaze you. it's like there's a soft glowing halo against the backdrop of tangled wires, gray walls and pale green bushes— he looks like an angel boy, school bag hooked and hanging over one shoulder.
eventually, you manage to peel your gaze away, and he notices— looks down at you, pressing his lips together and running his tongue over them. he can taste strawberry gloss.
wordlessly, you start walking. and he follows suit, rain bouncing off of him; you catch yourself sneaking glances from under the roof of your clear umbrella between raindrops that slide down the clear plastic. sometime during the walk home, he had gone off and gotten himself a drink from a nearby vending machine— the red can catches your eye, and your fingers curl around the rubber handle of the lent umbrella as you watch him drink; the bob of his adam's apple before he crushes the can up and tosses it into a nearby bush, causing a brief scattering of leaves and a downpour of collecting droplets onto the pavement.
despite the rain, the weeds between the cracks in the sidewalk still stay strong; they have deep roots. much like the way you never fail to scowl at him for littering. he catches it— of course he does. he's been praying for a sign you're not still so hopelessly angry with him that you can't even bring yourself to have a civil walk in the summer rain together. after the scowl, though, comes the smile— the one that always makes him melt in his shoes, much like the sunshine after the rain.
and there it is at last, he thinks. the hard sour coating melts away on his tongue, draining the taste of lemon to reveal a sweet, genuine center. all it takes is time. your lips curve up, and you duck your head, hiding the small bemused laugh that leaves you breathless.
"what are you laughin' at?" he huffs, glaring down at you. but there's no malice behind it— if only you could feel the wave of relief that's washed over him, a crest of white foam that leaves behind still waters reflected in the pools of sapphire in his eyes. nothing like the hit of numbing nicotine he'd shared in the shade of an alleyway with shoko earlier that day— away from the sun; away from you. hidden from both. or maybe they were the same— to him, he couldn't differentiate.
"i'm not laughing!" you protested weakly, immediately wiping the grin from your lips, and he regrets speaking up. "just.. i dunno."
you walk in silence for a little longer, content to listen to the rain lighten up overhead. satoru kicks a plastic onigiri wrapper out of the way, splashing up a puddle as a frown dampens his face when the wrapping only clings to his shoes. he's fine with getting a little grumpy if it means seeing you smile again. and even better, you laugh again— so sweet, like the chiming of bells in the wind's melody.
"please don't do that again." your voice sounds so very small when he hears it again, and he looks down at you from beneath long white lashes, the corner of his lips quirked up. the shape of them is almost cat-like, you think. he doesn't even know what you're talking about— a vague idea, at best— but he won't do it. not if it means hearing you sound so pathetically... sad. he doesn't like it. it's far too bitter for his taste. let the black betta you both used to know indulge in dark coffee and bitter cologne— satoru likes things sweet, like the cream surrounded by tea leaf matcha in the center of his mochi and fluttering feeling he gets when you run your hands through his hair, fluffing it up to your heart's content.
(as long as your heart is happy, his is, too.)
"i won't. happy now?" he sticks his tongue out, making a face. but you both know he means it— he hates breaking his promises to you. you smile when you look up at him again with a small nod, and he feels his knees wobble a little. he just hopes you don't notice. "sorry for lying. i just.. don't like it when you're mad at me. and you look at me like that," he mumbles under his breath, bunching up the fabric of his pants between his fingers. then, after a moment, "geez, you're so dramatic. quit carin' so much." he really hopes you don't stop, and it makes him feel like the world's biggest hypocrite. the strongest, but so weak for you.
"sorry, can't. the day you stop crushing your soda cans and littering is the day i'll stop caring, 'cus that won't be my satoru anymore." you tease. and he laughs, throwing his head back so you don't see the red that spreads across his cheeks, dusting his skin like powdered sugar on top of a strawberry crepe. he always wants to be your satoru, so he figures he'll keep littering. a few money fines here and there mean nothing to his undentable wallet, or the erratic beating of his heart, trapped against his ribcage in a feathery blooming of flowers he only gets from you and your pretty smile underneath the layer of lemony sourness.
you walk along the road for a little while longer. the rain has lightened, but it's still going— incessant, dripping from the leaves of trees and the knotted black wires overhead. he still has his infinity up, which means he can't pet the cat the two of you spot on your way back, but he's perfectly content to watch you do it. you scratch its chin, smiling at the way it purrs and nuzzles into your hand, and he wonders if he'd do the same if he was in its position.
he's lost in thought when you speak to him again, shoes splashing against murky puddles in the backdrop of a never-sleeping city; tokyo's bright skyline always makes your eyes go round with wonder. you say something, and he chuckles, warm and velvety. and then you realize what's been off with him this whole time— he doesn't have his shades on.
you slip them off the collar of your shirt, smoothing down the fabric before you reach over and attempt to nudge his arm. you don't think it'll work, because he still has his infinity up— and your sleeves are already getting spattered by rain that leaves darkened wet spots on the cotton. but to your amazement, your fingers make contact with his sleeve, and you watch in wonder as the rain actually falls— soaks into that little patch of wet fabric that you're able to feel on his arm. that he's turned his infinity off in that one spot so you could touch him. you spare a glance up at him, only to find his head angled away from you. you might be hallucinating, but the tips of his ears seem red.
you don't linger on it before you're tugging on his shirt with a frown, getting him to look down at you as you unfold his glasses and offer them over to him. he takes them quickly, and you don't miss the way the rain stops falling onto his arm again, back to bouncing off the invisible shield that protects him from everything (but you, it seems). he slips his dark shades back over his eyes, obscuring oceans of pure blue that seem like they've trickled in from the purest snowcaps on the distant mountains dotted with old red tori gates and shrines with scrapped paint. but you can't stifle the smile that spreads across your lips this time— giddy and fresh and filled with youth, blossoming like sakura petals in a spring that seems so far away yet so close with his presence by your side.
you don't say anything for a while. you're content to watch the rain wash down the pavement and into the gutters, past cute little coffee shops and parks with ponds as the droplets from the sky scatter the water in part of a never-ending cycle; watering the surface of the earth and bringing life that would soon spring up as shroomcaps and fresh dew on the clean cut green grass. you wonder what satoru sees through his lenses— though, you already know. you've worn them plenty of times before, when he insists on having your perfume cling to the frame for long missions he's sent on alone, when he can't have you hold his jacket, or his hand, or scold him for sneaking a smoke when you're not watching. that, and the extra lemondrops he keeps in his pocket; gifts from you that he's fought hard for.
you're more prepared to not feel any interference of his infinity this time when you reach over, and this time you don't go for his sleeve—yanking him close to you by his hand and forcing him beneath your umbrella. you feel the way he freezes up for a moment, but his fingers fill in the gaps between your own like its the most natural thing in the world, palms pressed together in a little breathless hug that leaves no room for the humid air.
"don't waste your infinity on the rain, dumbass. you'll fry what little is left of your brain." you scold him, and he just grumbles and scoffs angrily under his breath, cursing you as he hunches over and ducks his head to fit under the umbrella to negate his height. his hair brushes against the plastic roof of the umbrella, and his lanky limbs are still awkwardly sticking out, but his fingers tighten around yours and his thumb rubs over your knuckles, still a little damp from your earlier encounter with the rain, and you can't help but smile a smile bright enough to wash away every last bit of cloud in the sky. his personal sunshine.
even though he still prefers sweet things, satoru's come to like the taste of lemondrops. sweet and sour go well together, after all. just like you and him.
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its okay if it doesnt taste like anything to u as long as u enjoyed it :) thanks for reading !! the black betta in question is suguru btw my (riaki) stuff. don't repost and/or plagiarize !
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thatdeadaquarius · 7 months ago
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Hello there, friend I'm here for fluff
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OK, this has been on my mind for a while
But like
The reader is just becoming the biggest parent to the Benny's adventure team kids
And the wolfs
We are like a parent of like 27
Knitting and making food brushing razors hair(let's be for real, you would hear a crunch when you brush it)
I'm not gonna lie
Do these kids know what spices are?
Cuz when I think about it
Razor hasn't had shit so he's has the least tolerance for spice
He would probably cry if you feed him a pepper
Bennett has tried spicy food but does go well with it
And not completely sure if fischl has had a spicy food before
But what flavor does mondstadt add to their food??
These kids need the damn flavors
AHDHAKALL FERAL ANIMAL AQUARIUS- ANOTHER PLATONIC ASK AAHHHHGGGGDJJSFHSAK!!!!!
AND ITS YOU!! ITS- ITS- ONE OF THE WRITING RULERS OF SAGAU (FOR ME AT LEAST) <3 !!!!!!!!
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You cooking in genshin all anime studio ghibli style looking like food from god (literally): ⬆️
Sun: Reader (you/they/them)
Orbit: Headcanons-ish
Stars: Benny’s Adventure Team! (Bennett, Fischl, Razor), Diluc, mentions of other Mond characters
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, & Trigger Warnings: none known.
Please comment if I missed any. /gen
^^ The posts being referenced in ask, (OG Razor ask) (Benny + Razor) and a more direct sequel, a part 2? a part 4 atp?? of this post (Imposter/Not Dark AU + Razor + Diluc) ^^
OMFG
ALRIGHT LISTEN UP BITCHES
SINCE UR IN TEYVAT
YOU GONNA COOK LIKE TEYVAT
AS IN-
SHIT BE SUPER EASY TO COOK, AND MASS MAKE DEPENDING ON COMPLEXITY OF DISH
(So, like Zhongli's special Bamboo Shoot Soup is like getting made... once a year if you read the little desc. for that dish 💀)
AND THEYRE ALL LIKE-
ANIME GORGEOUS FOODS ✨️❤️‍🔥
OKAY SO
PROMO TIME-
U GUYS HAVE TO WATCH THE ANIME "CAMPFIRE COOKING IN ANOTHER WORLD"
Bc that's mostly where this inspo gonna come from to both be realistic cooking + best parts of video game cooking
A guy gets isekai’d and instead of hero powers he just gets the skill of "online grocery shopping" LMAO
and ofc he gets insta gifted whatever he orders and starts making dishes and adding spices and regular stuff you know. like soy sauce.
but the best part is the food in that world is like British medieval soup shit
like barely salted, no spices definitely, no sauces, its barren
so he ends up attracting all kinds of interest that want to eat his cooking ofc
And it gives buffs too!
dw i didnt spoil anything u don't learn in the first episode, but that's just to say that's exactly whats happening here
u DO have to manually collect more ingredients but its so worth it, also u can just buy in bulk or put a commission thru the adventurer guild
tbhhh now that i say that, that could be how u end up drawing in Benny’s Adventure Team even more, bc they just take all ur quests for collecting ingredients around Mond!!
(u have to actively sneak behind their back and whisper to Katheryne that you want to put in other food quests in other guilds tho, silly kids will absolutely go running around Liyue and crazy shit just to have an adventure and do smth for you + eat ur banger food lol)
omfg the first time u barbecue smth???
the wolves, Razor, and Andrius??? Go feral.
Fischl and Benny who were already on their way to u guys to hang out again start booking it thru the woods, dodging hilichurl camps (thatve since settled down and been v peaceful to the wolves + anyone in the woods of Wolvendom after u started living there)
they knowww ur cookin smth fucking amazing
(and u even have some hilichurls and mitachurl that wander close to Andrius’ edge of the woods to shyly beg for scraps,, u give them a portion)
Razor was actually lookin at u like u hung the stars just for him when u gave him a homemade barbecue sauce to put on his food
(u acc may have done that to Teyvatians according to Andrius + the stories u overheard from Springvale…)
ok but the amount of begging u get for desserts like-
No, Razor u cannot have chocolate cake/cupcakes after every meal, u need to take care of ur teeth
(u use ur collection of mora-monster-donations for comms for more ingredients and living supplies like fabric + furniture, u cant afford dental on top of that for ur boy)
Fischl dutifully declares you the “best chef in the kingdom” and writes down all ur recipes (u have them auto-stored in ur settings obv but it cant hurt to have a physical copy, and they look so happy doing it, u don't have the heart to tell them its not necessary-)
Benny insists on both giving u extra ingredients when he takes ur commissions, and giving u handmade trinkets or weapons for the meals!!
No!! He will not take “im good” for an answer!! ur sharing ur home-cave with him, taking care of his best friend Razor, and now feeding him food better than Liuli Pavilion!!! There’s no way he can just take all that and give nothing back!!!!
and theyre not the only ones getting some food tbh
when the knights begin patroling near Wolvendom and slowly all of Mondstadt to search for their “All God”, u break up the beginnings of a fight between 2 confused knights and the now peaceful hilichurl camp at the edge of Wolvendom
U offer some snacks u were going to give Benny’s Adventure Team when they got back (u made little triangle sandwiches, rice balls, etc. finger foods, and u made plenty extra bc u kno their teenage appetites lol)
the knights and hilichurls nearly cried with appreciation, which made for a hilarious sight when the teens actually showed up lmao
ur wearing ur cloak, bc u dont wanna take on that whole “creator of worlds” title just yet, and the kids helped verify u werent anyone suspicious (Benny + Fischl keep ur godly secret, theyre the best like that 🥰)
the knights just swing by for snacks occasionally (they also either pay u in trade or with mora, theyre not bullies)
another person who gets flavored food privileges is the lazy librarian witch herself
u also sometimes pick Razor up from Lisa’s tutoring and bring “the best tea and tea snacks in the world” along with to share with Lisa and him
(she is also fully aware after awhile of meeting u of what u are, and fully believes this is why the food must be enchanted to be so good, but u dont want to be treated super reverently she can tell, so she keeps ur secret too and is just extra flirty when u come by lol)
(Razor refuses to let his pare- Lupical move out of ur cozy cave to the library, so he sometimes hauls u away when Lisa flirts too much LMAO)
…and the moment you've been waiting for.
Yes, Diluc got to try ur food that night he was searching Wolvendom for signs of the god of Teyvat
tbh Diluc was half-convinced that shit was a fever dream.
a bunch of sleepy wolves, a coffee table in the stone colosseum, a giant spirit wolf licking a big plate clean, the wolf-kid glaring at him, and you.
you with gold eyes, staring right thru his soul, like you already know everything there is to know about him, (like the way Kaeya looked at him that night),
like he doesnt even have to introduce himself
and he doesnt, u just lightly smack Razor’s hands until he gets rid of his claymore w/a pout, since Diluc had long since dropped his,
and grab a plate, piling on what leftovers u could, and turn back around from the coffee table to smile at him, patting the cushion-seat beside u for him to join
The giant glowing wolf licks his lips and watches him, the wolf-kid’s creepily watches him, and you, with eyes gold in teh light of a simmering bonfire just past the table, watch him
he just sits down and begins to eat.
its the best food he’s ever had, its his dad’s favorite dish, but not realistically, but the way memory embellishes a dish so much it can never be tasted again, except its right here. in front of him. u pour some wolfhook juice for him, and offer him a napkin to wipe his mouth and eyes
Diluc visits often after that, obviously.
u give him snacks too, and when he lets the staff try some, Adeline will not stop harassing him abt gettin ur recipes/ingredeints so u get him to pay Fischl to get a copy of their recipe book :)
including blank pages for future entries, and Fischl is literally glowing with happiness, would not stop monologuing abt ur food for weeks (send help Oz wants some peace and quiet sometimes)
Oh Diluc absolutely told the Favonius knights he found you. But he’s not saying where LMAO
Jean is actually begging him, Diluc ik u hate the knights but this is an international investigation-
this is the closest Diluc has ever gotten to getting under Venti’s skin.
when he told him this at Angel’s while bartending, he just casually ofc said this, just his smug little smirk, and the anemo god cracked a glass and everything- esp when he said he tried ur cooking??
he's gotta start looking over his shoulder in the city bc not only is Venti stalking him, the entirety of Mondstadt’s citizens are glaring at him in envy everywhere he goes LMAOO
(Venti now has a bar glass or too on his tab to pay off as well)
mans is literally paying u in weapon/artifact materials/mora to make him lunch one day and Venti nearly lunges over the counter
(Diluc purposefully ate it in front of him 💀)
ur food is the ultimate, “u could make a religion out of this!” /ref
like Diluc fully gives u offerings of ingredients he can pay for shipping from other countries + along with regular materials after grinding in domains
does the rest of Mondstadt + the world find out where u are?
only if Diluc lets them tbh. LMFAO
bk trashfire my beloved <3 love ur ideas and stuff, goes without even saying im so sorry i took actually forever to respond :’(
hope u have a great weekend and i did this little side story justice for you
Safe Travels BK Trashfire,
💀♒
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If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"
(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")
♡my beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue
@kiyomi-uchiha777
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sad-stucky-shipper-107 · 21 days ago
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ISAGI YOICHI DESERVES MORE RESPECT.
Minor rant incoming:
It fuckin pisses me off that people underestimate Isagi so much, like even after he's leaving people in the dust left and right and is now a terrifying player in his own right, he's still treated like some- some weakling?! What the fuck?!
Its like he has to prove his worth with every fuckin match, to every single fucking person, every single time. They all act like he's beneath them and finally catching up. They all go on about like "Omg Isagi so weak he gotta compensate for it with his smarts"
Like. Bitch. No. His smarts is fucking crushing all of you. Oh my god. His smart is a weapon that is so fuckin terrifying but everyone's like "Uwu isagi, ur lucky, barely scraped by the skin of ur teeth there" like. Fuck off omg, he destroyed u. Stfu.
He's already devoured Barou, Chigiri, Nagi, Reo, Aiku: fuckin Rin and Shidou (although briefly) even before the U-20 MATCH BEGAN.. And yet they are considered better players in blue-lock verse?! Like mf in what world does that make sense?!
ITOSHI SAE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO I SEE PROPERLY RESPECTING ISAGI'S POTENTIAL, HE DIDN'T SAY SHIT LIKE 'I underestimated you' or 'lucky shot'
NO, HE FUCKIN ACKNOWLEDEGED ISAGI AS A STRIKER AND A POWEFUL ONE AT THAT (RIGHTLY SO) AND THEN MOVED THE FUCK ON.
His observational skills are a weapon, people gotta stop acting like physical weapons are the only ones that count. Isagi been breaking them weapons left and right with his mf brain. Ong.
And the NEL. God the fucking NEL.
He's keeping up with kaiser. I'd go so far as to say, he's managing to beat the fucking shit out of kaiser and in such a short while no less, working with the pitifully small pieces of advice that he himself has to go ask Noa for. We havent seen him recieve any other mentorship.
HE FUCKING IMPROVED HIS LEFT FOOT SO FUCKING MUCH IN LIKE- 10 DAYS. WITHOUT WHATEVER FUCKIN STEROIDS EGO WAS GIVING KUNIGAMI. AND HE MANAGED TO EVEN CONVERT IT INTO A USEFUL WEAPON?!
He devoured fuckin Chris motherfuckin' Prince. And adult. World's no. 2. And people just?? Brush over that?! Like mf. What do u want from him. What more do u want from him.
AND HE'S DOING ALL THIS WHILE HIS SHOTS HAVE BEEN GETTING BLOCKED AND STOLEN LEFT AND RIGHT BY HIS OWN TEAMMATES (FELLOW BLUE-LOCKERS INCLUDED)
My boy deserves so much more respect from like. Every single fucking person in bluelock verse.
I WILL NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THIS. ISAGI YOICHI DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER-
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honeytonedhottie · 5 months ago
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all about role models⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🧁
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FIND ROLE MODELS ;
its important to have people that u look up to. people with similar morals and values as you and people who have achieved things that u want to achieve, or things similar to what u want to achieve.
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you can find mentors or role models or, simply look up to people even if u dont know them personally. for example one of my role models is kimora lee simmons. i look up to how effortlessly glamorous she is and how much of an amazing business woman she is, shes also a biracial woman just like me.
find traits in ur role models that u already have, whether thats interests, talents, physical similarities etc.
finding role models helps to give u inspiration. something important to remember though is to emulate, NOT imitate. use their qualities and achievements as motivation to discover and develop your own individuality.
for this post im going to focus on one of my role models, the wizard liz because this is a mindset based post...💬🎀
STUDY THE MINDSET OF UR ROLE MODELS ;
their conception of self ; the wizard liz has high standards for herself because she knows her worth. because of that she won't settle and she doesn't let herself get walked all over.
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something that liz has said in her videos before was to be okay with people misunderstanding you. dont go out of ur way to get worked up just bcuz someone sees something in a different way then u do.
her conception of self continued ; in another video she says to "make a list of tough situations that you've handled in the past and what skills you used to handle them". she has a lot of trust and belief in herself and her abilities
after taking notes on the mindset of ur role models (like so) i can see what resonates with me and what doesn't, i can see clearly ways in which we are similar and ways in which we are different.
WHAT ABOUT YOU? ;
take time to formulate ur own opinions. take time to think, "hey what do i think about this" without the influence of others views or opinions what do u think originally. grow comfortable with thinking for yourself.
trust ur gut feelings and intuition
be confident in ur own mind and trust that you have the ability to make the best choices for yourself.
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another thing, grow comfortable with asking yourself for advice. something that i realized is that often times when we ask others for advice, we already know what we should do but we wanna hear it from someone else but its important to just ask urself some times.
"what do i rly want" or "what is the best thing for me to do" are things that u should be asking urself instead of asking others. dont let others peer pressure you into thinking the way that they do. THATS NOT TO SAY DONT BE OPEN MINDED, THATS NOT WHAT IM SAYING. but im saying think for urself first.
SOME OF MY ROLE MODELS ;
kimora lee simmons - successful business woman, biracial queen, effortlessly glamorous
beyoncé - passionate about her talents and recognized as one of the best in her industry
wonyoung - smart, beautiful, and unbothered queen
jennie - so talented and radiates major it girl energy
britney spears - popstar queen, her music is AMAZING and her energy is palpable
bella hadid - empathetic beautiful human being who speaks up about things that society wants to be silent about
megan thee stallion - educated queen, such a hard worker, strong even when everyone is against her, talented and confident
paris hilton - used the image that the media portrayed for her to make a profit, marketing and business genius, gorgeous and cunty
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blasphemousclaw · 4 months ago
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personally i always interpreted the golden order greatsword as radagon wanting to keep renalla with him. the fact that its a moonlight greatsword, and how that tidbit isnt confirmed until the end of the item description, almost gives it a kind of "hiding behind the back" kind of vibe, like its a memento radagon shouldnt be holding onto but found a way to take with him anyways. given that in the queens bedchamber melina dialogue, marika refers to him as a leal hound of the order with a tone of disdain, and how he "hadnt yet become her", i personally get the vibe that radagon felt that whatever he had to sacrifice (his family, his wife, his self) for the golden order was worth it, with a kind of resigned determination ala I Wish I Didnt Have To Do This (hence marikas disdain cuz she doesnt think he HAS to, its just convenient for her plans+the schemes of the greater will)
my general impression of radagon is someone who loved renalla deeply and genuinely, and tried to take some small part of their marriage with him in the golden order greatsword, and was willing to make small steps out of line to try and keep that love present (giving renalla the amber egg with a GREAT RUNE INSIDE, one that judging by design wouldve gone to his son miquella since its similar to malenias, using the moonlight greatsword to become the golden order greatsword instead of making a new one), and someone who repeatedly tries to Do Whats Right For The World by sacrificing his own desires, and that makes the fact that all of his decisions led to heartbreak and pain in his loved ones more poignant and impactful. like hey man. you uh. didnt HAVE to drop everything to go be elden lord. didnt HAVE to leave ur family. now you cant ever get that back and its ur own damn fault buddy now ur bicon of a son is getting rly into snakekeeping and blasphemy and graffiti-ing ur Associated Symbols onto everything he feels would piss u off and ur never getting invited to radahns graduation from sellia academy of star murder. you uh. you did that buddy! you shot urself in the foot!
this is so late sorry, but yeah I really like this interpretation. like I said in my prev post I feel like Radagon forging Rennala’s marriage gift into a Golden Order greatsword can be interpreted as a way of carrying a part of her with him, even as he leaves her behind and forges ahead on his way to serve the Golden Order. Radagon has never viewed his time with Rennala with any scorn or regret; in fact, the things Rennala taught him during his time with her were very formative to his identity and beliefs:
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“As the husband of Rennala of Caria, the red-haired Radagon studied sorcery, and as the husband of Queen Marika, he studied incantations. Thus did the hero aspire to be complete.”
The forging of Radagon’s greatsword kind of goes with this theme of Radagon cherishing what he had with Rennala, but ultimately deciding to move on to a greater purpose, using what he gained as Rennala’s husband as an integral part of his path forward. Perhaps even, based on the idea that Radagon “aspired to be complete,” he felt like he wasn’t a whole person, that he was missing something? That, though he loved Rennala, he couldn’t give himself fully to her? That he would leave Rennala behind if it meant getting a chance to feel whole?
Anyway, I completely agree that Radagon making the conscious decision to leave Rennala, despite having this love and respect for her, makes for a much more tragic and impactful story than Radagon not having any agency. What he did was shocking, inconceivable, and gravely disrespectful, not just to Rennala, but to all of Caria. And I think it’s almost certain that Radagon’s decision led to resentment amongst his children, sowing the seeds of their future rebellions against his Order… as Miriel says, when telling us Radagon and Rennala’s story, “You would do well to remember... Severing a vow, strongest of bonds, has consequences ever more dire". It’s just good storytelling!!!
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lilblackcheezits · 7 months ago
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fresh out of jail - E.Jaeger
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your worst fear had came true, Eren had got caught dealing weed. He got three years in prison, three fucking year in jail, three year u had to be away from your boyfriend. It completely crushed you, how were going to be alone for 3 years?
Now Eren on the other hand was heartbroken, he missed his baby so fucking much it hurt, and it was all his fault, not being careful of what he was doing. He thought u we’re going to leave him, he didn’t think you would wait on him, but you loved Eren so much you would wait, cause he was worth waiting for.
1 year later
Eren was on his best behavior, hoping they would let him out early, and spoiler alert he gets out next week. He hasn’t told you about his release but he’s dying to see you, to hold you, to kiss those sweet lips of yours, do all those things he hasn’t done in a year. Him being in jail has been doing his biceps wonders, And you started going to the gym with all the free time you had, and gurlllll that ass was getting bigger(if that was even possible🤭) you look good if you do say so yourself.
That last week in jail never felt to longer, Eren just wanted to be home with you. Finally Monday was here and Connie came to pick Eren up, he just couldn’t wait to surprise you. The whole 30 minute drive to y’all’s house, Eren was just thinking about u. The effect you had on that man was crazy.
You were at home sitting on the couch, a throw blanket one your fresh showered body that smelt like coco butter, u had vaseline on ur lashes, chapstick on ur plump lips, the windows were cracked so the fresh air could flow through the house. Some romance movie was playing on the tv while you we scrolling through insta.
Finally Connie pulled into the driveway, they said there goodbyes and Eren started walking to unlock the front door as Connie pulled away. You we so deep in your phone you didn’t even hear the door open, Eren walked in taking his shoes off. He heard the tv so he walks towards the noise and he see you scroll through ur phone, man you looked like the prettiest thing on the earth.
“mama…” he says almost a whisper, you look up at him and your jaw drops “eren..” you stand up and he runs to hug you, “Eren oh my god- I’ve missed u so fuckin much” you say into his neck. “how are u here I thought u had 2 more years-hmm” he cuts you off with a kiss he’s been waiting so long to do again, and let me tell u this kiss was full of passion and lust, you both pull away because ur out of breath and that when you get a good look of Eren, and DAMN that’s man was ripped. The way his biceps were busting out of his shirt made u want to bust.
Eren noticed u taking a good look at him, and he liked it, he knew he got bigger and he just couldn’t wait to show u. “u look good ren” u say as u look up at him, just for him to by staring right down at u, giving you that smile he knows u love so much, “yea? how good?”
Now to be honest you don’t know how you got here.
“Fuckkkk ma” he smacks her ass “throw that shit on me” he groans. “yesyesyes don’t stop” u drag your words “u got so much fuckin tighter” he say throwing his head back “fuckkkk” he hissed
He’s just pounding into you and he doesn’t care, he misses you and this pussy too much to care. “you like that mama? u like when fuck you hard like this?”
your brain was to foggy to comprehend what he was saying so u we’re just nodding at everything he was saying
he pulled ur hair back so you can look at him in his eyes “i asked you something” “yes i- I love it when you fuck me like this” your honestly just babbling
“I- hngh i missed u s’much ren” “I missed u so much more baby i promise u i will never leave u again, i want to spend the rest of my life with you baby- fuck”
“me toooo ughhb ren imcummig imcumming holy fuckk im cummingg”
“yeah? make a mess on this dick cmon”
“yesyesyes oh my godd” ur practically screaming at this point its been so long since you had sex
Eren cums right after you still fucking his cum into you “ren m’sensitive” you say tiredly trying to push him away
he just smiles at the sight in front of him, his beautiful girlfriend looking all fucked out all because of him
he pulls out and gets up to go grab a warm rag and a blanket
When he gets back he sees y/n passed out on the couch, he wipes her up and puts the blanket over her sleeping body, then goes upstairs to change his clothes
He comes back downstairs to lay on the couch with her and eventually ends up falling asleep too
Eren couldn’t be more happier with being back home with his little mama
authors note!
im sorry if there misspelled words this is my first time writing something like this so i hope yall like it! - vaeh💗
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moneymartin · 7 months ago
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OKOK SO I JUST SAW THE NOTIF!!
so hear me out…maybe reader is like a fam friend of Kate’s. They were best friends and played together all the time. They went to Iowa together, and are roommates. Reader plays volleyball, soccer, softball, wtv you want. And like a slow burn friends to lovers!!?? (i’m a whore for friends to lovers) i’m talking mutual pining, years of attraction and feelings…literally brewing for 22 years (kate’s going to be 24 soon, so like they’re moms were bestfriends so Kate and readers friendship started when they were like 2?)
PLSPLSPLSPLS IF U CAN!?😋
・❥・- no hard feelings.
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summary: basically the req lol. r plays soccer at uoi and kate is a nervous wreck 😭
warnings: none rlly… just the use of y/n if that even counts as one??? 💀
rpf!!! don’t read it if ur uncomfortable 😣
wc: 2.25k
a/n: not my usual stuff, i know. i’ve just been itching to write something about kate :( plz don’t unfollow me guys and don’t leave me mooties </3 🤧 i swear i’m going back on my yjs grind once school ends. every divider is a timeskip btw cuz this is lowk long and im layz asfk… also kind of messy i’m so sorry
NOT PROOFREAD!!!!
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22 years. you and kate have been friends for 22 fucking years, and she hasn’t picked up yet. your very obvious feelings for her are starting to fade the more she’s been avoiding them. it sucks so fucking much.
these stupid feelings started when both of you ended up at the same university and the same dorm. you never saw kate in that light. she was your mom’s best friend’s kid, and the rest was history. you played tackle football with her when she had nobody else to play with, practiced basketball with her. you two were practically attached to the hip. the same elementary, middle school, highschool, and the same damn college.
it wasn’t like you could just leave too. the scholarship you were offered for soccer was totally worth the taking, and you couldn’t leave behind the team either. the first few times you gained feelings for kate was when you were in middle school. ‘experimenting’ with your feelings. well, that was your guys’ excuse after you two losers got caught by her mom. after that it was just dating stupid boys to get your head out of it and your head off of kate. thankfully, she was trying to do the same exact solution. you knew a lot about her.
but the one thing you didn’t know was that she felt the exact same. she was just too scared to say it. its not like she wants to lose a 22 year friendship over her uncontrollable feelings. first thing she did was go to caitlin, and she was practically freaking the hell out over it. cait was definitely the anchor between the both of you. helping you with accidental arguments so you didn’t lose kate, helping you out with what to say when she was upset. it was good having someone like that, but it was so incredibly stressful having to consistently ask for some sort of advice.
eventually you were tired of it. tired of waiting for something to happen. waiting for a move to be made by kate or maybe just a few little hints that kept you going. although you couldn’t anymore. it was draining, like someone who didn’t realize what you felt about them. you told caitlin everything after that reality set in for you. it was the blinding of your feelings that let everything slip through your mind and basically fly over your head. how could you be so naive to believe that she did and you were just trying hard for nothing in return. it was dumb, and you knew that much.
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one night after a long day of testing and practice, you stumble your way into your dorm, the door locked and a frown crossing your face. the keys were in your stupid locker. “open the door, please..” you murmur, voice tired and confused. you bring your fist up to the door and knock softly, the sound of the lock clicking and the door creaking open. “jeez. soccer must’ve been a pain in the ass. you look like shit.” kate laughs, grabbing your arm gently to stable your body. letting out a heavy huff of breath, you lean slightly into her and drop your arms to your sides. “tell me about it.” she smiles and hoists you up carefully, locking the door and bringing you to the living room.
the moment your butt hits the couch cushion you let out a soft sigh and look at kate, her big stupid and soft eyes locking onto yours. the corners of your lips curl up slightly and you snicker, raising your eyebrows. “do you really wanna know? cause its a stupid story.” you exaggerate and rub the back of your neck. kate takes the spot next to you and nods continuously, her head leaning onto your shoulder. “trust me, dude. i wanna hear it.”
“kay, well… coach dilanni was being a total douche about what i wanted to practice. i mean, its fucking practice for a reason. i’m supposed to practice what i need to practice! not what he wants me to practice.” your voice gets a little low and you start to slur out your words. the repeated words and slow murmurs make her laugh a little, her arm hooking around your neck and bringing your head towards hers. “and he gave me so much attitude. like, the more i tried to defend myself the more he spoke over me. the old head was thinking about benching me during the champ game!!!” you blurt out and let out a groan.
she starts to realize just how tired you are and pouts, her head moving away, and her hands cupping your face. your head involuntarily moves to stare at hers, your eyes half open, your lips pursed slightly, and your head dropped down a little. “he looks like a nice old guy but deep down that man has some serious problems,” you grumble. “and don’t even get me started on the tests i had to take.” kate’s eyebrows raise and her face stills for a moment when you bury your face deep into her neck. your breath tickles at her skin and she feels shivers running up and down her back. you’re so tired you don’t even realize what you’re doing.
“y/n…” she breathes out heavily and you hear her swallow down whatever she needs to say. your head pulls out and you look at her with big eyes too, just like how she did earlier. water forms in your ducts as you try to fight off the sleepiness, but the way kate is looking at you makes it hard to get off of her. “hm?” you hum and drop your head against her shoulder. “never mind, okay.” her voice drops too and softens a bit, a familiar heat rushing up to your face when she runs her fingers up and down your back.
the warmth of her body and the relief you feel when you hear her voice makes your head spin like crazy. its like she knows what you feel about her and is just doing this to mess with you. the second your eyes shut, kate sucks in a sharp breath in through her teeth and practically manhandles you. gently, of course. but shes picked you up like a damn baby and you don’t have the slightest intention of stopping her from doing it.
your stomach spins and churns awkwardly from the contact. you’ve known kate all your life, but right now it feels like you just saw her on campus for the first time. after you got that news you guys shared a room together. you suddenly get the reminder of your feelings for her, like a shit ton of fireworks igniting in your stomach. more so reigniting. she brushes her fingers up against your face to move a few strands of hair from it.
kate likes you. she really fucking does, and its just the fact that she can’t spit it out no matter how much she wants to. no matter how much she wants to scream it from the rooftop and tell the whole world about how she feels. she thinks you’re the prettiest girl she’s ever seen and she has that gut feeling where she believes that you feel the same way. she isn’t stupid but shes smitten and that’s blinding her as well. just like how it did to you.
“y’know how we’ve been friends for like.. a bajillion years?” she laughs nervously and curls her lips downwards a bit. you know that shes nervous and its starting to make you nervous too. you’re starting to sweat a little underneath your shirt and you can somehow feel it under your skin. “yeah, why?” you ask and open your eyes to look at her face. its all red, her eyes open wide with anxiety, and her mouth slightly parted.
“okay, listen to me and don’t freak out… please.” kate squeaks out and moves her hands away from you. her reactions and jitters cause you to sit up and watch her every move just to make sure she really doesn’t start to freak. theres a feeling in your stomach that can’t really be put into words. it’s that feeling where you wanna throw up because of your nerves and the wanna jump off a bridge before you hear what she says. “i won’t go crazy, you idiot. what’s wrong with you?” you ask with a little chuckle but it quickly fades away when you realize what she’s about to say.
you’re not feeling this because you’re embarrassed of what she’s feeling. you’re just nervous and not used to it. at least thats what you’re telling yourself. there’s a little voice in your head repeatedly telling you to “calm the fuck down!” and it isn’t really helping. your brain is fried from the tiredness you feel too, but this seems really important. “nothing is wrong with me, i just dunno.. need to tell you something before its too late.” she whispers and tilts her head to the side a little, figuring out how she has to say it and if she really should let you know. now that she’s declared that she needs to say this little thing before its ‘too late’ confirms everything you need to know.
“this probably sounds stupid and dumb and i’m going to sound like the biggest loser in the world,” she starts, her voice cracking and her face contorting in different ways you’ve never seen before. in all the years you’ve know kate, shes never been so anxious and nervous about something like this before. its kinda scary. “but i think i’m like.. really in love with you.” she stumbles over her words and buries her face into her hands. it takes you a moment to process what she says as the sleepiness corrupts your mind. “i’m sorry, what?” you mutter.
“i said i like you!!!” kate blurts out and you watch her face turn the reddest you’ve ever seen it. you’ve been with her for almost all of her relationships and this is the first time her face has ever looked like that. her previous partners have never had her like this, they’ve never had her the way you have, and you’re realizing that just now. “oh.” you gulp. the words you’ve been waiting to hear for more than half of your life have finally been said, and it is the greatest relief you’ve ever felt in your life. and everything makes sense now.
the way kate brushes up against you in the halls, the fact she always walks you to your classes no matter how far hers is from it, her taking you to soccer practice, her watching your games like how you watch her, and the fact that you are the reason she blushes like she’s embarrassed herself. although she hasn’t, she’s just so into you, and nothing is gonna change the way she feels. “‘oh?’ is that it?” kate spits out and starts to panic a little. after she’s just admitted, she’s expected something different from you. maybe the same thing? she doesn’t know what she was expecting, it just wasn’t that.
your eyes widen and your face grows redder the longer you stare at her and when your tiny tired peabrain registers that she reciprocates what you feel. “no! that’s not it, stupid, i like you too!” you blurt out as well and push her shoulders. kate has a look of something on her face. you can’t tell what it is but she seems happy about what you said, and that makes your emotions explode. “okay, you know what? i love you, actually! i love you, i love you, i love you!!!!!!!!” you stutter out a bunch of times. years and years of hoping and waiting that she’ll finally do something comes to a stop. “i have my whole damn life.” you murmur, catching your breath slightly from the continuous shouting of your feelings at her. the burning and churning in your stomach goes away and is replaced with a certain sense of relief. a relief that you haven’t felt in ages.
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“oh so, you’re serious, serious?”
“yes, okay. i’m not joking, like i meant everything.”
“say you swear or i won’t believe one word you say.”
“i swear on coach dilanni’s life.” you giggle, fingers threading through kate’s blonde strands. her head is propped up on your chest and her eyes are slightly open. you two have been sitting there for about ten minutes, talking about why or how you even got these stupid little feelings for each other. but none of you are complaining. matter of fact, you’re both on the verge of falling asleep but the presence from each other makes you both wanna stay up all damn night if you could.
“he’s not gonna like that...” she murmurs, voice soft and slurring a bit. kate wraps her arms tight around your waist, her head moving into a more comfortable position. your hands are all over the place and you’re basically just messing up her hair, one of her eyes closing when a few strands get in her face. “you have no idea what you’re doing, huh?” her lips turn into that smile you know all too well now, and her eyes closing completely. a yawn escapes from in between your lips and she hears it, snapping her head upwards, that smile turning into a smirk.
“kiss me.”
and you do.
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