#its not nostalgic its just got the label you all seem to still love so much

[skankhunt44]

I may be an asshole but at least I don't support jkr shit...

[janus-stanus]

[reposting a bit from this fic on its own (and cut down in places) for anyone who needs it today. i love you. please survive.]

“I would like to try something. If you’d be so courteous as to humor me.”

The lump under the covers offers no resistance.

Janus presses a hand to his chest, just below his neck. When he speaks again, it’s all tea and honey.

“Things are going to be okay.”

Thomas doesn’t look at him, in the hopes it’ll make the words easier to swallow. Like how things were before a face was put to the voice. Before everything got thrown off by the label “Deceit”.

But it doesn’t work. The sentiment rings hollow. Empty calories.

“It will be okay,” the side repeats, now turned to face him.

Thomas sighs. “I want to believe you,” he says, his throat horse.

“You don’t have to believe me,” Janus tells him, tone wavering. “You don’t have to believe anything I’m saying. Frankly, knowing what you know, you shouldn’t.” His hands turn and twist and fold into each other. “You just… you have to trust me.”

Thomas’s face scrunches. He’s pretty sure what Janus just said is inherently self-contradictory (not that that wouldn’t be in line for him). Or maybe his brain is just too gunked up from the… everything of it all.

“Look at me, Thomas.”

It comes out too sharp. It always does these days.

Still, Thomas lifts his head. Of course, his eyes are already watering, for the third time in as many hours. But he could swear that there are pinpricks of tears in Janus’s, too.

It’s the snake’s turn to sigh. “Here’s the thing, Thomas. I told you I’d be more honest with you. So here’s the truth: I can’t give you what you want right now.” The confession is slow and painful, like that old saying of drawing blood from a stone. “I’m not your optimism, or your hopes; I’m not the one you’d want to turn to for answers, or a plan. Those parts of you will be here when you’re ready to hear them.

“All I can give you is what you need, for this moment. You just, have to trust me.” He gulps to clear his throat. “And, again, you probably - I’d understand if you…”

A thousand different sentences seem to wordlessly slide off Janus’s tongue.

“I’m here,” he eventually chokes out. “So. Please.” 

Through the mist building up in his eyes, Thomas sees a softer, younger Janus.

And, in him, he sees his younger self. The Thomas who clung to every scrap of affirmation, of hope, of love, even those that were self-gifted. The Thomas who trusted, wholeheartedly, the voice that was a suaver, sweeter, stronger version of his own, telling him whatever he most needed to hear.

The Thomas who believed them all. Who believed in himself.

He scrubs away the liquid buildup, and that Thomas is gone. Except, he’s not. He’s still here. In him, and all of his sides.

“Of course I trust you, Janus,” he says, sitting up.

The side in question blinks, then coughs. “Ah. Wonderful.”

He takes a breath. Thomas imitates.

“Good. Now listen: things will be okay.” He takes a second to figure out how to proceed. “I can’t tell you how; certainly not when. But they will be.”

Somehow, Thomas feels himself smiling already. But it’s a flickering, fragile thing.

Janus imitates him this time, though his smile is much more bittersweet. Almost nostalgic.

“They will be,” he continues, “not because the laws of the universe demand it, not because one person believing so is all it takes, but because there are people like you. And your friends. And Nico.”

Thomas’s eyes light up at the mere mention of him.

“Good people.” He visibly cringes as he says it but recovers swiftly. “So many of them, who will do whatever they can to help.”

The words taste so sweet they’re almost sour. But the most potent medicine never tastes good.

“They’ll take care of each other, sacrifice for each other, out of compassion, out of spite, out of sheer stubbornness,” he spits, voice rumbling, “and yes, it’s stupid of them, but-”

He catches himself tumbling into unhelpful honesty.

“Nevermind that. The, so… I…” He falters. “People, some people, will try. And they’ll mess up, for sure; they might just make things worse, if all they have are directionless good intentions. You - they, they’ll get caught up in their own problems, and won’t get help. They’ll make choices, so focused on predicting the future that they keep repeating the past. You know, you…” The water in his eyes is bubbling over. “You know all that. You know, people, like that. The, the point is-”

And Thomas embraces him.

It’s fortunate Janus is imaginary, or he likely would have passed out in the first few seconds with how tightly Thomas squeezes his torso. Instead, they stay there, for some irrelevant number of minutes, Janus’s shirt soaking up Thomas’s tears and snot.

When the snake notices that his own face is wet, he attempts to wipe the precipitation dry discreetly. It proves to be a losing battle.

“The point is,” he eventually concludes, “You’ll survive. You’ll go through all that, again and again, and you’ll survive. For at least as long as I have anything to say about it. Or those other people who love you, I suppose. Because that’s the miserable existence we’ve been cursed with.”

Thomas hopes the other sides are experiencing this moment. They all deserve it.

“Thank you,” he croaks. “For… for everything.”

Janus collects himself, rolling back his now sticky sleeves, straightening his collapsed spine, and taking a few breathes, before he responds.

“Just doing what I can.”

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 07/01/2024

Rippin'! Mashin'! High Quality Grand Prix

Season 2 No Album Release (Read More) Jumpin'! Dancin'! - PriPara Mezase! Idol Grand Prix #1

Ripper Unknown

Requested by oetaboy! (@oetaboy)

I'm immensely thankful that this rip ended up as a request in time for its 7th anniversary, because goodness - I'd almost forgotten all about it! And, like can you blame me? Rippin'! Mashin'! High Quality Grand Prix never got an album release, we still don't know who the ripper of it is, and the game its from never got any more rips after its upload way back in 2017. Frankly, its a bit of a miracle that it even has as many views as it does with all of those factors combined - yet, quality always finds a way.

(Also, sorry for the late post, everyone ^^;)

There was really something special about that period of time during and after December 2016 - the start of the Christmas Comeback Crisis, and what would eventually become labeled as the start of Season 2. The future was bright, there was so much to look forward ahead - and the SiIvaGunner team was firing on all cylinders with the ongoing storyline. There were just so many rips of that time that captured that excitement to a tee, most notably of course with the Patched Plains Fusion Collab - yet I remember overtime, as we moved from December to January, the excitement seemed to be less about the Christmas Comeback Crisis storyline itself, and more just...celebrating that SiIvaGunner was still going. There was a lot of genuine emotions in the air around when Season 1, and seemingly the entire channel was going to end, and though a lot of people felt betrayed by the sudden rug-pull of Season 2's premiere, a lot of others were overjoyed to know that SiIva wasn't truly going anywhere.

And yeah, I can't say there's much more to say on Rippin'! Mashin'! High Quality Grand Prix other than just that - excitement. The introduction from RelaxAlax was, at the time, such a perfect sign of respect from the team to the audience, an acknowledgement that the SiIvaGunner team knew how much the channel was loved by people all over the world - and that they were just as grateful for us as we were for them. The rip is simply a fantastic mashup medley of all sorts of jokes, common and uncommon, bound together by a magical chorus drop with We Are Number One - fresh off the news that the internet's collective love for the song had been the main driving force for Stefan Karl's fundraiser granting him the care he needed. All sealed together lovingly with the closing message, taken from one of Stefan Karl's own video messages - telling us all to "keep memeing".

The sheer joy that the rip exudes is infectious, and its one I'm always so happy to rediscover, a rip that I'm deeply nostalgic for despite only remembering that one emotion. Bittersweet as it may now be in retrospect, I'll never forget the happiness of those early Season 2 days.

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Baby Boomer Classics: Heart & Soul Fifties 1985/1988 R&B / Rock & Roll

Folks, I gotta say, for how short this release is—13 songs that amount to only about half an hour—this might be the most potent 50s comp that I've ever come across in my many years of collecting. See, there's plenty of nostalgic comps out there that just slap together a bunch of chart-busters and then call it a day without giving much of any thought to how much juice any of the selections may still actually have, but when the California-based JCI label put this dispatch from their Baby Boomer Classics series together in 1985, and then re-released it again in 1988 with a replacement of Wilbert Harrison's terrifically catchy R&B classic, "Kansas City," with Joe Turner's "Corinne, Corrina," they seemed to be far more concerned with how good the actual songs still sounded rather than with how well they charted back in the day.

And to be clear, most of these songs still did chart very well themselves anyway, but do you know how many big hits there were in the 50s that don't really sound that great anymore? A whole lot. And JCI didn't end up picking any of those for this album; these selections that they made almost four whole decades ago are still really no worse for wear than they were when they first came out. And that's pretty remarkable, given how much music from the 50s really doesn't quite strike like it used to anymore.

Now, if you already know your oldies like the back of your own hand, you're probably not gonna find much utility in this album, because even though there's no real lackluster filler in this small set, you're likely to be very familiar with these tunes already. But if you're someone who's never really been exposed to much in the way of great 50s music before, I really cannot recommend this album enough as your starter pack. You've got probably my favorite 50s hit of all time on this thing in Lloyd Price's "Stagger Lee"—a song so good that it legitimately has the capacity to turn me misty-eyed, even though I was born long after the 50s and have no personal nostalgic attachment to it whatsoever—as well as one of the greatest pieces of loud and dynamic group doo wop that's ever been recorded too: The Silhouettes' "Get a Job." And on top of that is Little Richard's "Lucille," plus Smiley Lewis' "I Hear You Knocking," which Little Richard would go on to cover himself too, as well as Welshman Dave Edmunds, who would deliver a great blues-rock version of it in 1970 🤘.

But, as seems to be a feature and not a bug with this Baby Boomer Classics series at this point, another one of the best songs on this record, which also happens to be probably its most obscure selection too, is a tune that's not actually from the 50s: Bobby Bland's "Turn On Your Love Light," which came out in 1961. While the rest of the songs on this album were big top-ten or top-twenty hits, this one only made it to #28 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart; so when it comes to this oldies comp wing of the music industry, this is not a tune that you're gonna come across very often. But it's a total gem, with a sweet and uptempo, shuffling drumbeat that's made to bolster Bobby Bland's own soulful voice that hits some really satisfying points of throaty gravelliness throughout 🥹.

I'm really in awe over how well JCI managed to nail this one. An assorted cream of the 50s crop right here in just 13 songs. Not an easy thing to pull off, but these are some really stellar choices 👍.

Highlights:

Wilbert Harrison - "Kansas City" Thurston Harris - "Little Bitty Pretty One" Bobby Bland - "Turn On Your Love Light" Little Richard - "Lucille" The Silhouettes - "Get a Job" Clyde McPhatter - "Lover Please" Smiley Lewis - "I Hear You Knocking" Lloyd Price - "Stagger Lee"

[daim1812]

One Last Time

Levi Ackerman x Reader

Labels: Romance, angst, drama, mentions of suicide, blood, children involvement, pregnancy and death.

Warning: Some manga spoilers. Change of storyline for adaptive purposes.

Song of choice: Saturn by Sleeping at Last

As the sun went down so did his body, sitting down on the log with a perfect view to a hidden lake between enclosed tall trees. Rising up from the mountain, the moon made its way into the night sky.

Levi couldn’t stop himself to stare at the moon. He couldn’t stop breathing the air, feeling it hit his lungs with small fights. He couldn’t stop from repeating the same images in his head.

His squads death made him realize that death was always near. He knew that no matter how much he ran away from it, it was always going to catch up to him.

Mike’s death shook him slightly. He knew this man for his whole years of being in the Scouts, and consider him someone close to him.

Erwin’s death threw him in a verge of loosing himself, almost to the point of ending things. And yet... he found himself weak to the thought. He couldn’t do it, it was someone else’s job to kill him and end his agony. Even when Hange stood there with him and helped him realize that he wasn’t that alone, her sudden sacrifice pushed him into an unknown feeling.

And so he sat there, amaze by the scenery; amazed by the simple thought that he was still... living.

Without a care in the world, Levi closed his eyes and emerge into the swing of the wind. Hitting him softly on the face and pushing his hair back, he indulge in a new feeling he couldn’t describe before.

He was delighted.

He was enlighten.

Yet, he hated that. Everybody else died, leaving him alone to understand himself and hate himself at the same time. All he wanted was... for them to come back. Since Isabel and Farlan, Levi learned the hard way that life isn’t the way he thought it would be. Kenny’s death was another punch in his face. His mother's death since the beginning made him this solitary person filled with problems.

Levi wasn’t normal.

Two pair of hands took him by surprise, but not enough to act defensive. He already knew this hands.

She pressed her face on Levi’s head, her body slightly pushing to his back. Her hands collared on his neck, embracing him thoroughly to her own content.

“What are you doing, Captain?” Her voice swayed Levi’s ears, the melody in her voice making him subtle and nostalgic.

“I have never stopped myself to watch this place, Captain.” He mumbled, almost too low for her to understand, but she did. Levi felt her jaw tense and knew she was smiling.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? This is what we fight for, Levi. For this place, this scenery, for the wind, for the people, for the oceans, for the animals, for us.” She let go of Levi to sit beside him, looking at him.

Levi finally got rid of his bandages, half of his face with a scar that marked a battle in transition; his left eye was hidden over a patch. She wanted so much to contain herself from touching his face once again. One after the other, every time she saw him like this, her hands immediately moved to touch his face. Levi doesn’t care much, but at the beginning he prohibited her to do so.

“Can I...?” The whisper made Levi look down, slowly nodding, not wanting to show her that he needed her to touch him.

Her fingertips rolled on his skin and scars, slowly, and carefully, she continue the path from the chin to his forehead. She stopped the movement once she reached his eye patch, looking at him for confirmation. He didn’t say anything, still staring at the ground in front of him, how the grass moved with the wind.

“I love your eyes, Levi.” She smiled at him, continuing her path, her fingers sinking inside his hair.

He finally let go of a sigh, looking up at her with the most saddest eyes, the color of his eyes slowly fainting by the light of the moon.

“If you die...” He started, stopping her movements. She frowned her eyebrows, looking back at him with fierce.

“Don’t say that. I’m not going to die. I’m not planning on doing so. My plan is to finish this war with Eren and those idiots, and then... we’ll retire in a cabin in the woods. We’ll have lots of kids. I’m still young, I can have at least 7 kids. Don’t you think?” She chuckled, Levi loving so much her action.

When was the last time he felt so affected by the emotions of another person? She had him wrapped on her fingers and yet he couldn’t do anything about that. He didn’t know the feelings he was going through. He didn’t understood what this new emotion was.

Was it really love like the books in the library described?

Was it the love Hange so furiously told him about when they stayed up almost all night drinking with Erwin and Mike?

Was love the past arrangement Erwin had with Nile’s wife?

Or was it that anxious feeling of seeing someone for the first time and noticing how beautiful they were?

He couldn’t decipher anything even if they were together. He was confused with all those emotions flowing into him. From the beginning, in his childhood, he never got to experience love and affection. Farlan and Isabel gave him affection, that friendship, and he learned from that. From Erwin he went through companionship, same with his squad, Hange and Mike. He understood those feelings; he already battled those and lost. Levi knew death, despair, loneliness, sadness; he knew all of those and yet he never once understood love.

She changed those thoughts so easily it scared him.

“You would look so beautiful holding our baby...” Her smile made Levi weak to the knees. How couldn’t he have fallen for her? “My plan is for us to be together until we are old and we decay with time. I want this to be over so we can be happy. What do you think?”

“...” Levi couldn’t say anything. If something he learned from all those years of loneliness and misery, it was to never dream too much. He wanted to live in the present because every time he thought things were alright something ended up wrong.

“Levi?” She looked so worried for him, letting her knees touch the grass in front of Levi.

His hands immediately hold her elbows, not wanting her to get on her knees and get her pants dirty just for him. Yet, she didn’t cared, only pushing away his hands a little bit to not make him feel bad.

“Talk to me, Ackerman.” Her voice soothes him. How many times has he loved hearing her call his name or just say anything in general?

He didn’t wanted to admit it, but having her near him, breathing, laughing, talking, whispering, singing... made him sleep so good for the first time. He finally let go of the worries in her arms and slowly pacified his urges of ending thing. Whenever he could sleep with her, he felt like the world didn’t needed to end just yet. Sleeping with her seemed like the only medicine he needed for days full of regret.

Either way, with those thoughts in his head while he stared down at the girl he profoundly fell for, he couldn’t let himself be like her.

Levi was the opposite of her. Down to earth, cold, and with secrets nobody needed to know. She was an open book, imaginative and lovable. He just didn’t wanted her to feel bad for saying words that could hurt her.

“This is real life, Captain. We are in a fragile situation right now in where we don’t know if tomorrow we will be alive. We live our lives to the fullest imagining that at some point we will stop and notice we fought so hard for our freedom.” Levi’s eyes connects with her, noticing how the light faded a little bit. “I can’t live in a fantasy... not when everything around me is based in reality. You are the one thing,” He stopped for a few seconds, his finger grabbing onto some of her locks. “I can’t loose.”

“You’re in bad luck, Levi, ‘cause I’m going into battle tomorrow and I promise you I will live. I won’t die yet. I can’t leave you alone.” Suddenly she pressed her forehead softly against Levi’s forehead, both of their noses slightly kissing. She closed her eyes and Levi admired her fractions.

He liked her so much.

She was the only reason why he hasn’t indulge into the darkness and end his life right there.

His fingers pressed her locks behind her ear, some of the hair covering his face and hers. She giggled at the humble actions of the man she loved with all her life. He continues to push her hair behind her ears, slowly passing his fingertips on her earlobe.

“Don’t die on me, brat. Keep fighting.” His whisper made her eyes crystallize. She felt the feelings behind those words. He wanted her to continue living even if he didn’t made it through another day.

She shook her head, the hairs from behind her ear falling back on her face as she pulled away from him.

Her hands locked onto his, pressing them on her chest tightly, a little careful of Levi’s bandage hand missing two of his fingers.

“No. Don’t YOU die on me, Levi. I want you to live and fulfill my wish with me. I want you to wake up tomorrow ready to battle and do everything it takes to come back into my arms. Many will die; death is inevitable, yet I’ll be here always. I want you to survive because you deserve to. I know how much you await death. You’ve been waiting for so long to feel it. The grass on your fingers, the blood gushing out of your mouth and the pain. But, Levi, I assure you, nothing is better than living the moment. Nothing will be better than this moment. You and me... finally together. I won’t let you die, Levi. We will have each other’s back. But you will survive even if it means me saving you over and over. I won’t let you fall into a darkness you won’t ever go out. I’ll light up your path every time you see it darken. I’ll keep the light up every time the wind tries to blow it. I’ll be here for you... until death do us apart.” Her eyes quickly tried to gush out the feelings, but the feelings were already dripping down her face.

Levi couldn’t stop himself anymore. He grabbed her cheek, pulled her up a little to be at the same height as him and pushed his lips against hers.

Her lips danced slowly on his, taking almost all the control of the kiss. Even if they were together for so long, Levi didn’t know a lot of things couple usually did. He didn’t know how to kiss, how to compliment, how to touch, how to love. Yet, she didn’t care for those small details. Being near her lover solely made her live happily.

Their lips continued to stick together, Levi wanting so hard to not let go. Maybe he didn’t wanted to let go because he wanted to love the moment like she told him to do; or maybe he felt the need to kiss her one last time just in case something bad happened.

Her hands touched Levi’s cheek, rubbing her fingertips on his cheek. He felt the cold round of tears pressing on his face, sticking them.

Breaking the kiss with a subtle movement, Levi gazed at her up and down, taking a mental picture of his lover for future references. For when the battle came, he could keep calm and fight dedicating his heart.

“Don’t cry, idiot.” He rolled her tear off her face with his right thumb. She nodded quickly, wiping her face with her long sleeve shirt.

“Promise me, Levi... we will fulfill my dream? Just promise me that.” His hand pressing on her cheek, she shoved it even closer to her.

He couldn’t promise that. He just couldn’t. Levi didn’t know if he was going to survive. The situation was getting dangerous and if everything went south, he would have to sacrifice himself to save the others. He needed to give them a future, Levi already fought enough, lived enough.

But now he had her... Now he was supposed to live to keep her by his side. He needed to survive. Yet, he just couldn’t say that to her. He wasn’t very good with words. Showing actions and taking actions was his forte.

The moon shined on them once again, the lighting in his eyes finally shinning again, the back of her head being lightened by the moon as well.

He wanted to live for her.

“I promise.” He mumbled, watching her shriek and throw herself on him, almost pushing both of them back into the ground.

She flowered him with kisses all over his face, being extremely careful of his eye and scar.

“I love you, Levi. Thank you. I’ll keep you safe.” Those words brought him so much joy. An emotion he hasn’t felt at all in his life, yet he was purely in love with this woman and he was going to make her happy.

“Me too, Captain.”

————————————

“Papa, papa, papa!” A little kid, around 6 years old with short dark hair and beautiful grey eyes threw himself at Levi. He catches him almost in midair and makes him sit on his arm and waist.

“What is it, Teo? I’ve told you to not interrupt me while I’m working.” The little kid shrugs his shoulders and purposely hides his face on Levi’s chest.

Levi noticed by the corner of his eye the little girl standing near the door, half of her face looking at him and the kid.

“Alora doesn’t want to play with me and I feel lonely.” His voice makes Levi tremble gently. Who would have thought that the Captain of the Survey Corps was going to be swayed by the adorable side of his older child?

“Alora, come here.” He turns around to the door, the little girl holding onto a dark teddy bear that hanged on her right hand and kept being swept on the floor.

She walked in with her face looking down on the floor. Alora couldn’t lie about it, she was almost scared of her father. He was always so quiet and cold; while she was the opposite. She was curious, a shining sun wherever she went, and a beautiful, intelligent little girl. With only 4 years old she already knew how to do basic math (something her mother continuously felt proud of and mentioned every time).

Levi looked down on her and gently squatted down with Teo on his arms, leading him to stand up on the floor.

Pressing his hand on Alora’s black, long soft hair that fell until her lower back and was tightly put in a ponytail, he smiled at her. Alora looked at her father and smiled back, loving those moments with him.

“Alora, would you like to play with your brother for a little while? Papa has some work to do, but once I’m done I’ll play with both of you. Anything that you want, I’ll play it.” He kept smiling, watching the kids as they celebrated that their dad was finally going to give them some attention. “Go play, kids.”

The kids rushed through the door, running into their rooms to play and have fun with each other.

Letting out a small sigh, Levi got up and sat down on his chair again. He still couldn’t believe he was a father of two children that made his life a whole heaven and a living hell as well.

A knock on the door caught him slightly by surprise, turning his attention towards now the person standing at the door.

He stared up and down at his wife, and how the dress made her look so irresistibly gorgeous.

She smiled at him and entered the room without invitation. Holding on her back for support, or for pain, she finally stood next to him. A hand pressed on Levi’s left shoulder, making Levi close his eyes and sigh again, loving so much her touch.

“You must be exhausted, Levi. Are you sure you can’t just finish this later? I could really use a massage, you know.” She leaned down a little bit, rubbing her nose on his cheek and ear.

“I have to finish today. I’ll be done soon.” Sighing once again, he let go of his desire to stop working and just let her shower him in affection and love.

“You’re so tense, dear.” Her hands touched his shoulders and made pressure on her hands to make him feel at ease. Levi’s head fell back a little bit, seeing his wife enjoying giving him all the love and attention he needed.

“Go do something else, brat. You’re always trying to make me feel good. I’m fine.” Levi pushed his body upwards, breaking the contact of her hands on his shoulders. She chuckled, understanding that Levi didn’t wanted to feel vulnerable at the state of tension he was in.

“Alright, Captain.” She makes the old salute, making Levi tremble at the sight. Even so, she continues to smile, leaning down on him to kiss him on the lips real quick.

“Tsk... idiot.” As soon as he said that, his body lay back at the chair, resting himself on it as he watched his wife walk away with a smile.

As soon as he heard his wife say dinner was ready, his body immediately got up and walked to the living room, seeing how the kids ran to the table. Getting from behind Alora, he helped her get on the chair. Giving her a short smile, Levi sat down at his respective chair, not having any other option than watching his wife put the plates and utensils at the table.

Levi always loved watching his wife do housework. He was a clean freak, and noticing how she always tried her best to keep everything tidy up and clean, made him love her even more. It wasn’t rude or anything, Levi helped a lot in the chores, helping whenever he wasn’t doing his own work.

“You’re slacking off, Levi.” She smiled, putting down the utensils next to his plate. He looked up at her, and her eyes shined to him. God, he could loose himself with just a stare.

“I’m tired.” He said with a sigh, resting on the chair.

“You could finish up quickly, papa.” Teo’s small voice makes Levi smile. His ear rings to that voice and he just enjoy his son’s voice.

“Yes, papa. You have to play with us.” Alora smiles while her mother pours some food on her plate.

“I know, kids.” His wife presses her thumbs to Levi’s nape, slowly rubbing it.

“Papa will be busy, but I’m sure he’ll take some time to play with you, kids. Right, darling?” Levi lets his neck fall back a little bit and looks up at her staring into his eyes. A faint blush covers his cheeks and he tries his best to hide it, yet she already notices.

“Yeah.” Mumbles, staring down at the food that was being served.

After they finished eating, Levi went back to his studio, trying as fast as he could to finish his work.

With a loud sigh, he finally finished doing all the things he had to do. He got up the chair, stretched his back and walked over to the room in where the kids were playing.

Standing on the entrance of the room, Levi let his back touch the wall and just decided to stare for a little bit at the kids giggling and playing.

He never had a childhood like that. All he knew while growing up was self defense. He knew how to stab, how to kill, how to defend himself. Levi didn’t know what other feelings were. The emotions he was feeling right now while watching his daughter show him her doll and his son the little train he got for his birthday, he didn’t know what that was called.

Knowing well enough how to battle an enemy, Levi never thought he would have to be fighting himself over and over in the future. He thought, maybe, after marrying her and starting a new life he would stop all those thoughts. And he did stop those thoughts. The birth of Teo brought into his life a whole new meaning that he didn’t know he needed so much.

Levi found love.

“Papa, papa! Come! Play with us.” The little girl’s voice shook him out of his thoughts. Looking up and down at her, he smiled, walking over to them and joining their small party.

Levi tucked both kids into bed. He wore them out enough for them to be knocked down cold into a huge sleep. Sliding the blanket over Teo and Alora, Levi kissed their small little forehead. If Erwin saw him right now he would have been surprised at the sight of weakness Levi was showing. “What would he say about this?”, Levi thought while staring down at the little girl holding tight her small bear. Nevertheless, Levi didn’t care. All he cared about were those kids and his wife. Erwin was long gone and he knew that if he saw that, Erwin would have been so proud of him. Levi found exactly what Erwin wanted for him, and what he wanted as well. No thoughts would change his mind on what his ex-Commander and best friend would have thought in that situation. Erwin would have been happy.

Turning off the light, Levi closed the door to the room and walked over to the room he shared with his wife.

And there she was, looking over at the door in wait for her husband. She smiled, opening her arms so she could get Levi next to her.

“Tsk. You’re a needy brat.” He crossed his arms, but still walked up to her. She grabs his hand and detangle them from his chest. Bringing him close to her, making him sit down on the bed, she gently pressed his hand on her belly.

Levi felt a knock, a kick, that startled him a lot. A life was in there. His next child was there. Levi finally understood that feeling. He felt it when Teo came the first time and when Alora also came. The feeling of being alive.

“It keeps kicking. It’s so funny.” She whispers near Levi’s shoulder, letting her head fall on his shoulder.

“He wants to kill you. I’ll kill him if he comes out like the other two. Disorganized and dirty.” His comment makes her laugh and Levi has no other option than to enjoy it. He wanted to record that in his mind forever. Her voice and her laugh.

“You silly... They are only like that because you let them be. I remember when I was a Captain and every time I saw you, you were scolding the cadets for leaving dirt everywhere.” She makes him remember, and he just snickers. He really was a strict Captain. And still, he always got the job done.

“I lived so long in dirty and dark places... I didn’t wanted HQ to be the same.” After he finishes talking, he feels another kick, letting go of a small smile.

“The HQ was bland. It was colorless. It reek of death and broken dreams. I didn’t like that so much.” She closes her eyes and rubs Levi’s hand over her belly.

“We didn’t have time to be thinking of colors. We were always living in a die or live situation.” She nods on his shoulder.

“I agree.”

“We should head to bed.” Levi mumbles again, not wanting to take his hand away from her belly or the warmth of her hand on his.

“Mhmm... let’s stay like this for a little while more. I missed your scent.” Her whisper makes Levi shiver, yet he only lets a small grunt come out of his throat, responding to her.

The small shallow breaths she was taking, the thumb rubbing on his hand, her hair falling on his shoulder and her thighs pressing on him made Levi so renewed. At the end of the day, all the tiredness faded away when she was there with him.

He knew she had her eyes closed, she was just resting on his shoulder. Yet, he wanted to look at her, kiss her, hold her, do everything he could think of even if she had a belly growing up. She has done so much for him and continues to do so by loving him every single day of their lives.

Levi slowly pulled his hand away from her belly and her, but now press it on her cheek. She opened her eyes and leaned back from his shoulder, now staring at him with bags under her eyes.

She was fucking stunning even when she was tired.

Letting his fingers roam from her cheek to her ear, pushing the hair to the back of her neck and ear; Levi cut the distance between each other and kisses her. Slowly, shaking and almost afraid of being too aggressive even if he wasn’t. Her hand found Levi’s shirt and gripped it. He pressed his other hand on her cheek and hold her face steady for him to kiss her better. Licking on her lip slowly, he went back and devoured her lips once again, showing off his dominating side.

Hearing her small moan, he let go of her. Staring deeply into her eyes, the small faint blush on her cheeks made him smirk. He loved making her flustered.

Slowly, but surely, Levi pressed his nose against her nose and gave her a lovely Eskimo kiss.

“I love you, Captain.” She said first, leaving him speechless once again like always.

He stared at her up and down, watching her completely. She always had this effect on him. Not for nothing they were married. Even so, Levi couldn’t be so easily frank like her. He loved her, but saying it was so difficult for him. Yet, when seeing her eyes shine the same way it did when they kissed for the first time, Levi couldn’t let her be disappointed on himself. He loved this woman with all of his life.

The woman who saved his life.

“I love you, too, (Y/N).”

————————————

“I’M NOT LEAVING HIM BEHIND, JEAN!!!!” The small faint voices of a girl during a silent world, were being simply shouted against the noise.

“We have to leave. We need to help Armin and Mikasa. If you stay here, we’ll be loosing you too, Captain. Please, reason with me here. We already lost Connie and Reiner is seriously injured. We need you.” Jean tried his best to reason with the girl who fearlessly continued to cry and shout at the tall man.

“NO!!! I CAN’T LEAVE HIM!!” She cries out, her tears falling in Jean’s arms and onto the floor.

“I understand, Captain. But Captain Levi wouldn’t want you to stay here and do nothing. We must continue to fulfill his wish and save the world. Please...” He couldn’t hold her anymore. She kept screaming while trying to push Jean away so she could hold her lover’s body on her arms. “CAPTAIN, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!”

He let go of her and she fell on her knees, scrapping them against the rocks and sand. Yet, it didn’t hurt. Her body was numb to the exterior damage. She just couldn’t react to any of that. All she could do was cry and cry and keep crying.

Her body crawled closed to her lover’s body and she grabbed his bloody hand.

When did that happened? How did it happened? Where was she? How did she let that happen?

She kept questioning herself over and over again into the smallest details. Levi’s death was upon her and she couldn’t help but blame herself.

Levi’s soulless body was laying on the ground, his left arm missing and his left leg. He was not coming back from this one and she knew it. After everything she promised. After everything she tried to do to keep him safe, she failed every and each of those promises.

“Wake up, Levi... Yo-You... you promised... You pro-promised we were going to live. You promised ME you were going to live. You promised, you promised, you promised... YOU PROMISED!!!” Her shouts could be heard all over the quiet ambient. Jean let some tears fall down as well, his head falling forward to not be seen weak.

She grabbed Levi’s body and got him close to her, pushing his face near her and sobbing. Tears falling down on Levi’s face, almost washing away the dirt and the blood. She just couldn’t believe that was happening. Levi was actually dead, his body resting on her arms.

“You promised... we were going to have kids... and live happy in a little house on the woods! We were going to raise our children the way they never raised us. Please... please... Levi, please, I love you. Don’t go... don’t leave me!”

The sound of her sobbing suddenly were muffled by extremely loud crashing sounds.

Jean looked over to where the sound came and his eyes became plates. He quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her forcefully, making her shriek and cry harder.

“Captain, Armin is in trouble. We need you. I know it hurts. I know you and Levi had dreams. But right now, if you don’t stand and get your shit together, everything that Captain Levi fought for will be for nothing! DEDICATE YOUR HEART!” Her red face and covered with tears, dust and blood suddenly came to a halt.

Levi wouldn’t wanted her to be like this and not in that moment. She gazed at Levi’s body on the floor one last time, got closed to it, kneeled down and after crying out her last tears, she gave him a farewell kiss.

She wiped her tears off and got up, her face drastically changing to pure anger.

“Let’s save humanity, Jean. DEDICATE YOUR HEART, SOLDIER!!”

The End

Thank you so much for reading.

Have a good day or night, darling. 🥰

[sepublic]

I really dig how now that a lot of FNAF kids are grown up, it’s become a lot more mainstream and openly beloved now; It helps that FNAF has had recent content and lore.

Because back during its debut it was seen as ‘cringey’ and ‘for kids’ and you had a lot of older people making fun of it, and it was a niche sort of thing. But now that a lot of FNAF fans have gotten older and gained more of a presence as experienced content creators, there’s like... This resurgence of people who get to vocalize how they really liked this stuff, and find other people who also have the same appreciation; And it’s just really encouraging and validating to see. It’s incredibly sweet seeing how popular perception has turned around, when back then the only popular creators who DID do FNAF (like Markiplier or MatPat) were seen as appealing to a ‘lower’ demographic.

Obviously the constant, upwards stream of content and lore also helps. But still, FNAF really does seem so much more popular and prevalent in meme culture now, that it’s legit become something ‘acceptable’ to like, and not in a New Fad type of way either (not that kids should need ‘acceptance’ for their interests). People grew up on it and now they’re old and confident and united enough to express their enjoyment without guilt, unironically. And that in turn influences other people who haven’t really heard or are impartial, and now you’ve got Freddy Fazbear memes all over the place. There’s even the lasting influence that leads to stuff like the freaking Banana Splits movie, which was originally a FNAF film! Kellen Goff made a name for himself with FNAF and is a recognized VA.

It’s legit all over the place and a trending sensation and people are nostalgically into it, they think it’s legit cool; FNAF has legitimate staying power in people’s minds and recognition, it’s got a solid reputation and Freddy Fazbear is now a cultural gaming icon, a household name like in-universe. Creators who made stuff back in the day are just as beloved and have triumphed despite the sneering accusations of ‘cringe’. People aren’t afraid to be mocked for it or have it labeled ‘overrated’, and I think it just says a lot about how kids usually get shamed and made fun of for their interests... How all this ‘back in my day’ generational talk is just utter bullshit, how every generation before has lamented the ones after, talked of the decline of ‘good media’. It’s just people enjoying themselves and whatever criticisms one might have for the creator, they certainly weren’t at mind back when kids were being mocked for their fun.

I just think it’s fascinating and surreal to see, that stuff you enjoyed as a kid, or you saw as ‘kid’ stuff... Knowing that now or in a few years, there’s gonna be all of these older people on the internet recognizing it, talking about it with one another; Excited to see people also liked it, speaking of how it was their childhood! It’s just weirdly nostalgic even if you yourself weren’t involved in the thing, because you can really relate. You can relate to that sense of going on the internet and finding other people who also loved that! For a while you thought you were alone, but now it’s cool now, other people find it cool, and you can be casual about being into it!

It’s honestly rather uplifting, seeing it firsthand that people are gonna grow up. That your generation and the one after will grow, and actually impact the world in the future. There’s gonna be actual change of some sorts, and even if it’s something as small and innocuous as a franchise about killer animatronics... It makes me feel hopeful? Like we’ll have an impact and maybe we weren’t for nothing, after all.

So it really is important not to make fun of kids for just enjoying themselves, because what’s ‘cringe’ is so arbitrary and will easily turn around; It just isn’t worth it to ruin others’ fun, surely you remember also being shamed and scolded? This situation perfectly exemplifies about how us fully-grown geezers really should know better and be more sympathetic and patient, not be buzzkills for these kids; It’s not for us but so is a lot of stuff we enjoyed back in the day, no longer for ‘us’ as we are now! Times are a-changing as are the generations, we just gotta accept and embrace and be happy for that, because that is the best thing or everyone would’ve been way more miserable for millennia.

It just really is the best feeling growing up and enjoying that thing clearly meant for kids and being a bit embarrassed by it... But then growing up and finding others who also loved and still love it, and thus get to express and continue that enjoyment! Make new stuff for it as an adult when you’ve got more experience, which again leads to this type of fandom renaissance I mentioned. Like, it’s gonna be okay; You felt like such a silly loser, but you’re gonna find other people like you who will show otherwise. It was valid, YOU’RE valid and it was awesome just for giving you joy. No more guilt. It’s gonna get better.

(Anyhow I just gotta say as someone who left a while back but still has some memories, it is SURREAL learning through osmosis how much of a juggernaut of lore this franchise has begun. The enigmatic purple guy has a name and family members and a face reveal. It’s apparently about kids’ souls being stuffed into robots to bring back the dead? Remember when it was so simple, and now it’s so spiraled into so much more, with all of the elaborate theories no longer a stretch from canon? Reminds me of how my other childhood interests have developed, and it’s all nostalgic as a result.)

[angelicmichael]

Willow

Michael Langdon x reader

Summary: Reader, who is a witch (not tied to the og coven) is best friends with Michael. They decide to spend Valentines day together in outpost three. Based on this post, and the 'willow' music video by Taylor Swift.

Words: 3.0k+

Warnings: mentions of rituals/covens (its vague tho), slow burn, light angst, mutual pining, gross fluff, plot heavy and VERY descriptive I'm sorry dhdhd, valentines day fic, mentions of food, friends to lovers

A/N: yall rlly liked my last Michael blurb so I made this kinda similar!! Also the idea of witch! Reader not being tied to the og coven is NOT my idea, others have done it before - I just did it cause it made sense w the music video this fic is based off of ✌🏻. This is mostly me self indulging ngl so if the fic doesnt make sense that's why haha. The v beginning is like Sojourn! Era and then the rest of the fic is somewhere between fire & reign and outpost era. this fic is rlly just me trying to say happy early mf valentines day !! 💖💖 okay bye

February 14th was always a day you dreaded; The idea and concept of a whole fucking holiday being dedicated to just love.. really put a bitter taste in your mouth. In your opinion, it was just a reason for couples to show a disgusting amount of PDA and get away with it.

However; due to a incredibly corny and cliché situation you found yourself in; you now were seeing the incoming holiday in a different light. When you thought of the holiday.. You first thought of Michael. Michael Langdon.

Meeting Michael at all was a complete accident - You met months ago in fall; on a dark cloudy night. Every detail from that evening was etched and woven into your mind as if it had just happened yesterday; and you could only hope that it would remain that way forever. After all; that was the night when you had met your favorite person. You even remembered the weather.. The bitterness of the cold wind making it seem as if it was seconds from storming.

You were part of a small coven which was meeting due to a full moon, it was a rather mundane and basic ritual you were preforming. One of which you had preformed more times you could even count on your fingers.. However; what made that ritual special is that your coven happened to be recruiting.

Full black outfits, including thin, long cloaks is what everyone wore to the occasion.. After everything was over and done with; you went to leave - the bitter coldness of the night urging you to leave rather quickly.

However; something.. almost a invisible force made you stop walking away from the crowd and made you physically stop. You slowly stopped walking; and turned around. You sharply gasped when you saw a figure directly in front of you - wearing a dark ensemble that matched yours nearly identically.

Immediately you grew weary. A sharp, nauseated feeling started to manifest inside of you.

"Were you following me"? You spoke with your voice raised, your hands which previously fell loosely at your side were starting to curl into fists.

You could feel yourself getting defensive. You quickly flicked your eyes over at the other coven members - making sure you weren't causing a scene; not wanting to draw attention to the situation until it grew necessary.

"Yes, but.. look. I just wanted to talk to you.. away from the others". The boy stated.

You bit your lip to suppress a groan. You rolled your eyes, not really caring that he could see how bothered you were.

"Fine. But c'mon, make it quick". You said, not trying to hide the irritation in your voice.

You turned around and walked a few feet away from the crowd, not looking back but merely expecting him to follow you. You were expecting he was just another newbie with dumb questions, or needed clarification on something.

You turned to talk to him, and that's when you noticed something you about him you seemed to overlook earlier - his beauty. You were completely taken aback and breath taken. Light blue eyes met your gaze as you stared blankly at him; momentarily stunned. He looked beyond ethereal; his pale cheeks flushed a light pink from the cold and his blonde hair looked as if it could be spun from gold. It was almost like he could sense how you were suddenly taken aback.. A smug smirk played on his lips; if you didn't know any better you would say he almost seemed cocky.

"There's something about you that's different from the others. I could sense it". He stated.

"How"? You stuttered.

You watched as he took a couple steps toward you and in one quick swoop, pushed the hood of his cloak fully back. He got even closer but you didn't dare move. You watched him curiously as he turned to the side, pushing his blonde locks of hair out of the way to show you something behind his ear.. Your blood instantly went cold once you saw three sixes; however you weren't scared. In fact you were really the first person that Michael met that didn't practically faint when they saw his mark. Looking back; you supposed that's why you and Michael bonded so quickly and became so close.

It didn't take long for him after that to confine in you that people either avoided him or became obsessed once they knew; both reactions ultimately stemming from fear. You were the first person to look past that and to just see him as a actual human being - not just a vessel for some fucked up prophecy to play out.

Even though Michael's beauty was undeniable to you; the relationship you two had was strictly platonic.. and in the past that was never something that bothered you. You supposed that he was tired of people throwing themselves at his feet and what he really needed more than anything was a friend - so you chose to be that for him, not daring to try and test the boundaries your relationship had.

However; the boundaries were seemingly starting to come down naturally - because your relationship wasnt entirely platonic anymore. Things between you two weren't exactly black and white as they used to be; a great example of this, was how you two were planning on spending Valentines Day together.

You and Michael agreed to spend it as friends. Neither of you had a date and spending Valentines alone when you had Michael seemed redundant.. and honestly just boring. Instead of making Valentines day an all day event; it started for you two as a 'date' at 6 pm.

In order to avoid having to confront putting a label on your.. situationship, the venue for your lavish Valentines date was at a more.. private venue. He only gave you a address and instructions, you didn't really know what exactly to expect but you knew you weren't going to his house. It was somewhere new.

It was nearly six pm, the sun had just set - leaving the sky a shade somewhere between navy blue and pure black. The air was cold on your skin as you stepped out of the car, wondering where the hell you even were.

The area you found yourself in was completely bare and void of any trees, the only object or building you saw was a giant, black, metal structure. The instructions Michael gave you had told you about this but.. seeing it in person was merely jarring, oddly unsettling. You approached it, trying to ignore the nerves and anxiety you could feel creeping in.

You couldn't help but wonder what the hell this place was and why out of all the places you two could have a 'date', it would have to be here?

As you stood in front of an elevator - stepping in, you felt very reluctant to do so. It definitely felt a bit weird that Michael wanted to meet you in such a secluded place but.. he was your best friend. He would never hurt you.. especially on valentines day.. Right?

The doors opened and you slowly stepped out, immediately taken back. You were now in a oval room, with a long hallway stretching out. You first quickly scanned your surroundings for Michael but, he wasnt here. Not in your line of vision anyway. You nearly forgot you were here for Michael at all for a second. The interior was breathtaking; resembling a old, Victorian style mansion. Even though you were still utterly confused; Michaels reasoning for choosing this venue was starting to become more clear to you.

It was the cozy, romantic vibe the 'house' seemed to radiate. The dim lighting also amplified this affect; seemingly giving everything in sight a subtle golden glow, otherwise everything remained relatively dark. You walked through the building; down hallways, looking for any sounds of life at all. Your witchy senses didn't always work on Michael, so you didn't even bother to try to use those. He was right about how you were powerful but, his powers still outshone yours unfortunately.

You finally heard something, something faint; soft music playing distantly in the background. You followed it swiftly, the music getting louder and louder until you found him - in what appeared to be the library.

The room was immense; books were lined on shelves that bordered the room. Couches, along with a decent sized fireplace and chandelier - and of course a record player, also resided in the library. Playing a tune that sounded similar but you couldn't quite remember what it was.. whatever it was, it sounded old and romantic - maybe from the 50s.

"Your not very good at hiding, you know. The music was a dead giveaway". You commented playfully.

Michael greeted you with a smirk, obviously holding back laughter. He stood up from one of the couches; approaching you. He looked incredibly handsome in the normal black ensemble he was wore but tonight he sported a long black coat. Making you fondly nostalgic of the night you two met.

He got dangerously close to you, almost in your face but you weren't intimidated. Plus, you knew he wasnt trying to actually intimidate you. Michael being the way he was; you knew he wouldn't have asked you to spend Valentines with him if he didn't tolerate you in some way.

"Its a good thing I wasnt trying to hide then, is it"? He spoke; his eyes pierced into yours.

The direct eye contact was starting to get unnerving and so was the.. apparent tension. You took a step back, looking away and laughing awkwardly - trying to remind yourself you two were strictly friends. Best friends, in fact. Nothing more.. and nothing less.

"So.. what even is this place? You don't own this or something.. do you"? You asked, slyly changing the topic.

"Actually I do. It's being saved for something I have in the works; but nothing's official yet. I wanted to get your opinion though.. what do you think"? Michael asked.

Even though you absolutely loved, whatever the hell this place even was, something.. felt off. Perhaps it was the fact it was completely secluded and private. Too private. You knew Michael was into some weird shit with the Satanists but; you figured he would atleast tell you by now if he was planning on something big with them.. Something that would require a huge fucking mansion underground.

"This place is beautiful, Michael. But what is it for"?

"Your too eager for your own good, (y/n). You will know in due time, I promise; but for now.. come sit with me".

He gently grabbed your wrist and guided you over to one of the bare, black couches; you followed - sitting next to him.

The hours continuing were filled with incredibly cheesy gestures that you only rolled your eyes at, and teased him for. The first being a few small, pink flowers he had conjured up and then tucked into your hair. At first you really thought nothing of it, they were just pretty flowers. However; you knew due to Michael's nature that he didn't just so happen to come across those flowers, he summoned them purposefully - specifically for you.. You didn't bother to try and hide how flustered this made you.

"Those are beautiful; what are they"? You asked, gesturing to the flowers.

"Thought you'd never ask. Wild roses. They hold many meanings; most agree they represent both love, suffering, beauty.. life. They're even said to protect the living from the dead".

You couldn't help but to laugh at his explanation.

"Will they protect me from you? You know your not exactly human yourself". You teased.

The corner of Michael's lips slid into a slow smile, one that you couldn't quite decipher whether it was an ironic or genuine gesture.

You nearly jumped at how quickly one of Michael's hands suddenly slid up into your hair; seemingly picking out one of the petals that had fallen from one of the flowers - he retracted his hand, holding onto the petal.

"No. Your going to need something stronger than that to keep me away". He said playfully, before crushing the already wilted petal in his hand - letting it fall carelessly to ground.

You could only roll your eyes.

Next came the food and well.. you were beyond impressed. Your not certain exactly how he managed to get your favorite food down who knows how many feet underground, but.. he did. And it was perfect.

You were both pretty quiet during that time; Michael didn't really have a reason to be but you couldn't help but to get lost within your thoughts. Sure; you two were best friends but.. that didn't necessarily warrant him to do all of this for you. Was it possible that he felt.. something else, like you did?

You couldn't help but to shut that thought down as quick as it came; that had to just be you projecting. There was no way in hell he could love you back..

Wait.. love?

It was like a involuntary reflex the way you suddenly jolted up and backed away from the table. Even though it was just a thought, the fact you just admitted to yourself that you loved him.. What the fuck did that even mean?

Michael looked startled at well, you could tell by the color of his knuckles that he now had a death grip on his silverware. His icy, blue eyes matched yours with a startled gaze.. As if he was trying to contemplate your next move or to get a good read on you. You were more than well acquainted with Michael's powers by now; you knew how he had the ability to read minds and that's partially why you found yourself, slowly at first, starting to take steps away from him. Wanting desperately to get the fuck away from him. You knew that if Michael even suspected what you were thinking or how you felt, that your friendship could possibly be over. That would be it, he would want absolutely nothing to do with you. You would be no better than the dozens of women and even men that threw themselves at Michael; Maybe even worse.

You made it down a random hallway until you found yourself physically colliding into him - fucking transmutation.

You felt a sudden urge to just turn around to try and escape again but you knew he wouldn't let you. Instead you let yourself be captive, you let him hold you. Gently encasing you into a hug. It was painful how hard you were trying to hold back your tears - blindly running away was already embarrassing enough, letting him see you cry would be too much.. Too much for one night, anyways. You felt him let go of you - stepping back a little bit in order to make eye contact with you.

"What has gotten into you-" He started.

"Michael- I'm so sorry but I just need to go. We can talk about this tomorrow but for now I just really need to be alone-"

You tried to turn around in order to make another (more calm) attempt at leaving but you felt something grab at your wrist, yet again. His grasp, along with his hand were achingly soft. You hated how much you enjoyed him making physical contact with you - even if it was something just as docile as this. You also couldn't help but to hate the spark of electricity you felt when his skin touched yours - and you couldn't help but to wonder whether he felt it too.

"No. I need to know what I did wrong. I'm not letting us end today like this". Michael said, his voice was strained with emotion.

His words were spoken urgently, his voice unsteady and even threatening to break.. That's when you knew you completely fucked up. He totally misinterpreted your actions.. the sudden realization hit you, piercing your heart like a knife.

"No, your right. Can we sit"? You asked.

He let go of your wrist coldly, sauntering out of the hallway you two were in. You would be lying if you were to admit that his sudden cold actions didn't hurt you; it definitely stung but you couldn't help to feel in this moment that you kind of deserved it.

The walk over was quiet and even a bit awkward. When you two sat; he looked at you expectedly.. waiting for you to talk first and explain your sudden, impulsive actions.

"It wasnt you.. that's not why I tried to leave at all, Michael. You did everything right. I mean that's really the 'problem', even though calling it a problem still isn't the right word but.." You paused before carrying on.

"What you did tonight for me was perfect, and I'm so thankful for that, truly. But I just feel like I'm starting to interpret your actions in a different way than in which you mean them and that's not fair to you. I know you just want a friend-" Your words continuously came out faster the longer you spoke, you were completely rambling at this point but Michael stopped you.

"Hey, stop". He said softly.

You felt as if you were dreaming when you saw him start to move closer to you.. it happened so quickly it almost felt fake. Michael gently pushed you back onto the couch, so that you were basically laying down flat on your back. You pulled him back with you so that he was on top, your hands automatically going to his shoulders.. feeling the sudden urge to yank his black top off and to feel his skin under your palms. The feeling was tempting; you could feel how hot his skin was even with his shirt on. You assumed your hands were cold by the way Michael shivered and even groaned when you touched him, that had to be the only logical explanation for him acting like that..

The manner in which he bent down, his lips getting closer and closer to yours was nothing but diabolic. He stopped until the point where his lips were just ghosting above yours - maybe only really a mere centimeter away from touching. It felt entirely far too tempting to just - barely tilt your head forward and stop whatever game your friend Langdon was trying to play, but.. you didnt. In reality; the teasing was far too delicious for you to want it to end so soon.

"Who said I just wanted to be friends"? He whispered.

You could taste his breath as he spoke, you felt trapped.. But if you were to be honest with yourself, you wouldn't rather spend Valentines Day any other way than in this manner.. Trapped with your absolute favorite person, with nothing else in the world to do but to get lost in each other.

His lips roughly collided with yours with such passion that you really haven't ever felt before. It threw you off guard for a moment, but you figured there was no sense in shying from it. You had been craving to be loved by him for so long; craving for him to touch you like this and now that it was finally happening.. you only relaxed and embraced the feeling.

Time slipped away from you far too quickly but after all; time didn't really feel real at all when you were underground in a bunker. No windows or clocks to help ground you back into reality..

You knew it was atleast passed midnight now; hours had passed and you two were now residing in one of the random rooms that you had come to learn was of 'Outpost Three'. It was apparent how careful he was with his words when he told you about the place; almost like he didn't want to tell you too much. He told you most of everything, like the cooperative and how this building was for some type of event that would be taking place in the summer but you didn't probe farther. You knew he would tell you in all due time.

You two were lying on a random, spare bed. It was luxurious and dangerously soft, but if you were honest - the sheets almost seemed scratchy in comparison to Michaels bare skin. Your head wasnt on a pillow but instead on Michael's bare chest, his rhythmic heart beat nearly lulling you to sleep. Almost putting you in some type of odd trance.

You both watched the movie that was playing on his laptop; propped up on a few sparse pillows at the end of the bed. Although you really weren't trying to keep up with what was happening or what the actors were even saying. Instead, you chose to be fully present with Michael, almost entranced in his presence. You two weren't talking but, just being surrounded by him - feeling his fingers lazily playing with your hair was heaven to you.

You still felt as if you were in a dream. After all in what timeline would you ever be so lucky to call someone like Michael, yours?? Even though you two weren't exactly official, you really didn't mind at this moment. Labels only seemed to really complicate things and in your opinion; you felt more than privileged to just sit here entangled with Michael, and to escape the rest of reality for a while.

Taglist: @mina672 @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakewaterxx @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon

[dossi-io]

An introduction to DeVita

Do you want to learn all about the AOMG artist DeVita? This article will cover everything you need to know about the third female member to join the labels roster.

The content of this article is also available in video format, embedded at the bottom of this article.

Prelude

In early April of 2020, the Korean hip-hop label AOMG ambiguously announced that a new artist was signing onto the label. This label was grounded by the Korean-American triple-threat; Jay Park, who’s also one of its executives. This is a label with a very organic feel and artist-oriented nature, which stands out compared to many other music labels.

On April 3rd, the label’s official Instagram account posted a video. It was titled, “Who’s The Next AOMG?” where fellow AOMG members talked about this upcoming recruit. They sprinkled small hints and details by sharing their thoughts on the artist without mentioning who.

Around the world, fans immediately began speculating on who this could be. The major consensus was that it had to be the solo artist Lee Hi, due to reporting like this: “AOMG responds ‘nothing is confirmed’ to reports of Lee Hi signing on with the label”

A few other names got thrown in fan speculations like Hanbin (B.I), previous member of IKON, Jvcki Wai, and MOON (문) aka Moon Sujin. This despite a few of these already being signed to other labels.

On April 6th, three days later, the account was updated with a part two. This time dropping more hints, which would exclude many names from fan speculations.

On the 7th of April, the label’s official Instagram account posted a short teaser. The video sported an 80’s retrofuturistic setting, with a woman turned from the camera, dressed in all black, rocking braids, and some glistening high-heels. As it seemed to be a female, some were now certain that it had to be Lee Hi. A small few actually guessed correctly that the one who would be joining AOMG would be Ms DeVita.

Finally on April 9th, it was official! She debuted with the music video, from which the teaser clips was taken from, EVITA!, which accompanied the release of her EP, CRÈME.

What does the name DeVita mean?

The name DeVita, draws inspiration and meaning from two things. Firstly, Eva Perón – also known as Evita – who was Argentina’s former First Lady. When Chloe was learning about Eva’s life, it inspired her to combine “Devil” and “Evita”, thus creating “DeVita”. The name signifies the duality of how both Eva Perón and DeVita could be perceived. Either being a devil, or an angel depending on the eye of the beholder. Secondly, Salvatore Di Vita, a character from Cinema Paradiso, was also a source of inspiration.

An introduction to DeVita

Chloe Cho – now known under the artist name DeVita – was born and raised in South Korea, until the age of eleven. In 2009, she moved to Chicago, where she would learn English.

In 2013, she went back to Korea and participated in the third season of the show; K-pop Star. A talent show, where the “big three” (the three largest music labels in Korea) hosts auditions to find the next big k-pop star. However she didn’t win, therefore neither got signed.

Later on, she returned to Chicago and graduated high school. After reflecting on what she wanted to do next, she decided to make music. In 2014, her pursuit to become an artist brought her to the talent show Kollaboration. On this show, she performed covers and actually ended up being a finalist. Despite her talents, she did not triumph as the winner of the show.

Not letting these losses stop her, she started releasing music on Soundcloud. The earliest release I could find, Halfway Love (Ruff), was from 2016. Her catalogue consisted of both covers and original music.

One day, Kirin, an artist and CEO of the music label 8balltown Records, was introduced to DeVita’s music. He liked what he heard and the two linked up. In May of 2018, WEKEYZ, one of 8balltown’s producer duos released a track titled Sugar. This track featured both DeVita, and the AOMG rapper Ugly Duck. This was the beginning of many collaborations to come.

On August 28th of 2018, just a few months later, AOMG released Sugar (Puff Daehee Mix).

This was a remix done by Puff Daehee, the alter ego of Kirin. Along with this track, it was accompanied by a music video starring Kirin, DeVita, and Ugly Duck. For most people, this was their first time seeing DeVita.

DeVita continued doing features on many songs by Korean artists while creating a little buzz for herself. There’s one notable feature, which could be seen as an important milestone in her career. That is her feature on the track Noise, from AOMG artist Woo Won Jae’s project, titled af.

In a tweet a few days after the release of CRÈME, she shared the significance of this moment.

“I was still making minimum wage working at a restaurant back when Noise dropped- I wrote my part during my shift on the back of this receipt paper. This was about a year and a half ago. A little bit after that I got a call from Pumpkin at 3am Chicago time. He said Jay wanted to meet in Philly in 4 hours. They put me on a plane and the rest is history.”

The phone call she mentioned in her tweet, about Jay wanting to meet, must have been made around September 2018. Jay was performing in Philadelphia at the time. The moment they met in Philadelphia was actually captured through a photo of the two. However, this picture ended up getting removed later on.

Fast forward a few months and Jay had just released his Ask About Me EP. The project focused on a western audience, so he went to the States on a promo run. During his visit, he also met up with DeVita once again, as can be seen here.

Finally, on April 9th, her being signed to AOMG was officially announced and she debuted with her EP titled CRÈME. Her joining AOMG, looked like something that happened pretty naturally. The vast majority of artists she had collaborated on tracks with happened to be AOMG members. Getting comfortable with the AOMG family, likely made the decision to join crystal clear.

Artistically

Just a quick look at her body of work thus far, a majority of it is in English. However, she has no issues singing in Korean, as proven by her feature on Code Kunst’s; Let u in. The tone in her voice has this sort of mixture of many singers, a melting pot of sorts. It reminds me of Audrey Nuna, SAAY, H.E.R, some vocal riffs from Dinah Jane, and at times, just a tiny bit of Ariana Grande.

As an artist, she’s still in the early stages of carving out her own unique sound and style. There’s incredible potential here, but her distinct identity is not completely there yet. I see before me a caterpillar that within a couple years, will transform into a butterfly, with its own identifiable pattern to spread its wings out on.

From what she’s shown so far, I would say she seems most comfortable doing R&B and soul music. However, beyond a quick description I prefer to refrain from categorizing her. Mostly because artists generally feel limited when categorized. More importantly, because we have no idea what she has in store for the future.

Debut EP: CRÈME

CRÈME is DeVita’s “crème de la crème”. She constantly modified the tracklist to present her debut project in a way that held her personal standard; essentially presenting us her best tracks. The result is CRÈME, which consists of five tracks, with a runtime of fourteen minutes altogether.

This EP showcases the fact that she is a competent songwriter, able to write some soulful, emotional ballads. It is completely in English and all the tracks are written by her, telling both life stories of her own and that of others. A majority of the production was handled by her “musical soulmate”; TE RIM, but other notable names, like Code Kunst show up as well.

Tracks:

Movies, introduces the project in a very gentle manner. In the track, DeVita paints a picture of a criminal couple, getting a rush, by committing crimes together. The lyrics feel inspired by movies like Bonnie and Clyde. My initial thoughts were that, for some ears, it could possibly be “too” calm as an opener. It doesn’t demand attention the way EVITA! does. Simply put, it’s not a bad track. I would just have put this track later on in the EP.

EVITA!, is something different compared to what I hear from others in the K-R&B lane. I love the 80’s aesthetic in both the track and music video. Sonically, the nostalgic saxophone riffs, warm lush synth pads, thumping bass line, results in a trip back to the 80s. With this recipe, topped with DeVita’s “current” contemporary soul and R&B voice makes for an interesting combination. The music video had that futuristic 80’s look with the neon colors, and I loved how the guns she played around with looked a lot like the “Needlers” from the Halo franchise.  The title is once again just like DeVita’s name, an ode to the controversial Eva Perón. The instrumental was originally used by TE RIM, the producer of the track in 2017. His version has the same title as DeVita’s version and I recommend giving that one a listen as well, as it has a different feel to it. This track was definitely one of the highlights of the EP.

All About You, is a simple yet beautiful piano love ballad. Originating from her own tales of love, her vocals effortlessly capture what she felt during these moments.

1974 Live, is yet another ballad, but this time, with a calm guitar backing, playing a poppier R&B chord progression. DeVita’s voice is given a lot of space to be in the center of the track. As soon as I heard this track I became curious. What was the significance of this year, which would have her title the track as such? My questions were left unanswered… until the EP had marinated a while, when she tweeted: “1974 Live is about Christine Chubbuck”. In case you’re unfamiliar, Christine Chubbuck was a television news reporter, who made history in 1974. She was the first person to commit suicide live on air. According to her mother Christine’s suicide would on paper be due to an unfullfilling personal life. All throughout her life, she had experienced unreciprocated love. With this information tying back to the track, it becomes a lot less ambiguous and reveals a more cohesive narrative.

Show Me, is the final track of the EP, featuring immaculate production from the talented CODE KUNST. The sound is very moody, which fits her voice like a glove. This is my favorite performance on the entire EP, both lyrically and vocally. The lyrics present someone who’s fed up dealing with men, who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Now she’s looking for love with someone who’s honest and “real”.

With the project being a year old now, it has already gotten her nominated for both Rookie of the Year along with EVITA being nominated for Best R&B & Soul Track in the 18th iteration of the Korean Music Awards.

A majority of listeners seemed to enjoy the project. Many seem to be in love with her voice judging by the endless amounts of praise she has received, often described as painfully addicting, soothing, smooth, and so on.

I also asked a friend who’s a huge fan of Korean music, especially the hiphop and r&b scene to share her thoughts on the project. Here’s what she said:

"This whole project is empowering, in particular the tracks Show Me and EVITA! DeVita being a new artist, managed to impress me and many more listeners through this EP. As mentioned earlier, empowering lyrics with unique melodies and beats. Especially with the track EVITA! The fact that 1974 Live and EVITA! was referring to, two historically important women, is something that I love. This is one of my favorite EP:s of 2020 and DeVita is now included in my list of favorite artists." @Haonsmom

From what I’ve seen, only a few have been vocal about not really being too fond of the project. Some were left a bit disappointed, as they were expecting more hip-hop and R&B from an AOMG artist. The lack of “danceable” tracks was also a concern to some. Despite these criticisms, one thing was always mentioned; the girl has a beautiful voice and is obviously talented.

After listening to this EP, I hear a lot of potential. Being an EP with just five tracks, it definitely avoids overstaying its welcome. It’s brief enough to allow a listen through the entire project, no matter what you’re doing. My favorite tracks would have to be Show Me and EVITA!, but I found the whole project to be enjoyable. This EP is sprinkled with lovely vocal performances and simple but captivating production. I do still stand by my opinion that Movies would have fit better later in the tracklist if you’re chasing that mainstream ear.

I think the way EVITA! kicks you in the face, demanding attention, would’ve been a better fit as the opening track. In contrast to the other tracks, the energy level is unique, making the placement feel odd as the rest of the tracks have a chill vibe. All in all, this project gave me a taste of the “crème” but left me with a curious yearning for what this chef will whip up for dessert.

Bright future ahead

The addition of more female artists to the AOMG roster was much needed. Hoody was the first and only female member for about four years. This was the case up until late 2019, where she was then joined by sogumm, who had just won AOMG’s audition program called SignHere. Now funnily enough after DeVita, Lee Hi actually did end up officially signing with AOMG on July 22, last year.

Based on what I’ve heard during Devita’s Kollaboration days, she has improved immensely. This topped with her leaving the impression of someone passionate about their craft, bodes well for what's to come. She seems to be someone who'll constantly evolve.

Following an artist, at the early stages of their career, is something that I always find exciting. With such a lovely debut, I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for DeVita.

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Thanks for reading, watching. If you enjoyed this content feel free to follow my socials to stay up to date on when new content is posted.

https://allmylinks.com/dossi-io

Credits:

The first image in article: Original photo, pre-edit from @jinveun

Gif from the Sugar Puff Daehee MV: @moxiepoints

[jenosslut]

dahlia

pairings: mark lee x fem!reader

genre/s: fluff, angst

warnings: usage of drugs, mentions of drugs, smoking, heavy angst

word count: 1k

a/n: this is inspired by the song ‘dahlia’ by gidle. much love to the dear @neojaems for her contributions to the plot and beta reading this !

masterlist

—

Delicate.

At that moment, everything came off exquisite, elegant, graceful. Aromatically abloom flowers surrounding your bodies as he sauntered in between dainty flowers, looking divine as ever. Serene was how he felt, also how everything appeared. It was tranquil, delighting.

It was the most ecstatic he ever felt. Having the woman of his dreams ambling beside him in the middle of a flourishing flower path as you looked even dreamier than his surroundings.

A floral dress was what you wore, its slightly puffy sleeves allowing a beautifully nostalgic feeling to run through his body; also making it even harder for him to look away from your alluring figure.

He watched as your eyes slightly widened, an unadulterated smile finding its way to your lips; playing on them beautifully. You bent down, hand reaching towards a flower that he- most certainly- had no idea about. Though, there was no denying that it was absolutely dazzling.

You got up, reaching his head as you got on the tip of your toes in order to do so. Your hand went behind his ear, tucking in the flower which was previously in between your hands.

"That's a dahlia." You whispered as you went back onto your feet, feeling more comfortable. The unadulterated smile kept its appearance on your face as you stared at your boyfriend, who was looking as breathtaking as ever, your heart ungovernably leaping in your chest.

"A dah what?" He asked, a genuine laugh captivating him.

"A dahlia, my favorite." You repeated yourself, your doe eyes staring right into his.

"Didn't know you were into flowers." Mark stated, his hand reaching in hopes of grabbing yours.

"Hm." You responded with a hum, fulfilling his hopes with giving your hand into his.

"Why, though? I mean, why is it your favorite?" He questioned, head tilting towards your direction as he hanged it lower, staring at you.

"The flower itself symbolizes eternal love. Though, the word has multiple meanings. One is strength, the other is betrayal." You pause for a short while before continuing, not allowing him to speak as you cut him off.

"It reminds me of you, you know. Our love, i believe, is eternal."

Mark stood there, his heart crashing inside his chest. Lips parted slightly as he stopped walking, staring right into your eyes as his were dressed in so much love. He held an immense adoration for you. You had a beautiful mind, a beautiful heart. Everything about you was so serene, so inspirational.

You brought out the best in him. Around you, he wasn't the high man risking his life on a mechanic; he was just an awkwardly adorable boy with an obsession over music. He hadn't touched cocaine in months, and it was all thanks to you.

—

Key word, was.

Mark Lee was currently spread on his bed, high on whatever Donghyuck had given him minutes prior. Breath worryingly calm yet heavy as he preferred to close his eyes, allowing the drug to take over him.

"You're fucked, man." Donghyuck said, shaking his head slightly as a single cigarette sat in between his lips.

"Yeah, thanks for the sweet reminder." Mark responded, a scoff escaping his lips as he rolled his eyes in exasperation. Not sparing a single glance for his best friend as all his attention was kept on the single dahlia sitting on his nightstand, memories floating inside his head.

That fucking flower, it made so much sense now. You were each other’s eternal loves, but your love wasn’t eternal because it was so intoxicating, full of dishonesty and betrayals.

Mark felt numb, refused to believe everything that had happened throughout the last month and wished for everything to just be him being delusional.

But unfortune was Mark Lee's best friend.

He had regretted the way he shouted so blindly that he didn't even care to witness the tears streaming down your face.

Afraid was what you had felt, what he had ignored. You felt afraid of the one who once made you feel safe; who once was your home, a source of comfort.

He couldn't get you out of his head. The sight of you with majestically crystal yet pained tears streaming down your delicate features, still looking beautiful as ever, was a sight he would never be able to forget. Specially because the river escaping your eyes was caused by none other than Mark Lee himself.

He hated himself. For simply letting you in, for not-so-simply ruining you. He could've just controlled himself, could've just let you explain.

You had been delaying letting Mark meet your parents for over a month now. And having an unreasonable temper mixed with the stress he was feeling that night; he took everything out on you, not even aware of what he was saying.

—

“Are you seeing someone else?” Mark shouted as he abruptly opened your room’s door; barging inside, eyes dressed in acrimony and rage .

Your whole body flinched, blanching as the top you were about to put on flew out of your hands in aghast.

A simple yet agitated “What?” was all you could let escape your lips at that moment, trying to calm your crashing heart down.

“Do you not want me to meet your parents because you already introduced your other boyfriend? The rich heir's son running two companies, just the man of your dreams.” Your boyfriend continued shouting, a mocking laugh followed by a scoff escaping his lips.

“Mark what are you saying?” You could only whisper as tears started to gather up inside your eyes, soft sobs following afterwards.

Mark continued rambling out words that didn’t make any sense to say the least in an overly loud manner. Your boyfriend, your sweet Mark was shouting at you as if he would lose his voice tomorrow, accusing you of cheating. That was a shocking experience on its own, but what had shocked you the most was him grabbing a small vase on your nightstand, throwing it across the room.

That was it. That was your breaking point. You finally brusted into the tears you had previously been holding inside. Sobs, cries and aggressive shouts was all that rose through your room that night as you tried your best to calm down. Though, Mark didn’t seem to calm down any soon…

—

He saw you as a delicate glass doll who could break if someone touched you the slightest. And that someone to break his glass doll turned out to be himself. Soulmates who weren't meant to be was what you were. 'Right person, wrong time' as Donghyuck liked to label.

You were each other's dahlias, your love was dahlia.

[travel-hopefully]

A collective post of everything I watched on Netflix in 2020

I finally found the watch history function on Netflix which I wanted in order to reminisce over the TV/film I watched over the last year, including the good and the bad. I’ve included a little round-up of my thoughts for each, as lockdown has got me with plenty of time on my hands. If anyone has watched any of the below feel free to give me a message- happy to discuss anything!

Travelers (season 3) - this was an unforgettable show with some great characters and definitely put me through hell (in a good way), I am a David x Marcy shipper for sure!

IT Crowd (season 4 & 5) - my favourite comedy show ever, and I mean the UK version

Explained (random episodes) - interesting bite-sized episodes on a variety of topics

Sherlock (season 3 & 4) - it kinda went downhill from season 4...and doesn’t help that there is no season 5 in sight

Unforgettable - must be pretty forgettable cause I couldn’t remember watching, a typical revenge plot romp I think

The Mind, Explained - same as for Explained above, except more pyshcological

You (season 2) - binge-worthy! I love to hate Joe Goldberg.

Don’t F**k with Cats - wow, this was disturbing but so gripping.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle - geniunely a good remake and rather amusing

Sex, Explained - as for Explained but a little more intriguing ;)

The Stranger (season 1) - full of suspense and a good binge watch but ultimately full of plot holes with an unsatisfying conclusion

Gavin & Stacey (season 3) - a classic which I only started watching in 2019

Sex Education (all of it) - comedy gold!

Unbelievable (limited series) - very harrowing, an emotional rollercoaster based on a real-life rape case

Atypical (all of it) - light-hearted and fun to binge

The Sinner (season 1) - it was okay... wasn’t spectacular compared to other similar dramas I’ve seen

Love Is Blind (season 1) - cringey but satisfying

In the Shadow of the Moon - I hardly remember this one :)

Dunkirk - a stand-out historical movie

The Stepfather - typical killer stepfather plot but rather enjoyable

The Super - an interesting premise, but not that super

Saw VI - all gore not much plot

Doctor Who (random episodes) - no words needed :D

Louis Theroux and Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends (random episodes) - I love his style of interviewing - what a man!

The Revenant - a lot of... well, not much

Nightcrawler - it was decent, but something was missing which I couldn’t put my finger on

How To Get Away With Murder (seasons 1-5) - probably my biggest new watch of the year, a rollercoaster of suspense, drama and murder, another season to go...

Ocean’s Eleven - fun but cheesey

Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare - creepy faces and an interesting ending

Eli - it started one way then went another, I wasn’t convinced

Star Trek (2009) - I couldn’t really get into this one...

In the Tall Grass - a lot of running around in grass

Bloodride (season 1) - i loved this, a quirky idea, i binged it

Apostle - intense, a satisfying religious cult horror

The Platform - great idea, not sure on the ending

What Keeps You Alive - what happened in this one again?

History 101 - didn’t watch many episodes :P

The Prodigy - a decent child possession horror

Into the Night (season 1) - really enjoyed this, a highlight of the year for me, hoping for a season 2

It - pretty chilling and creepy, but a tad cheesey

Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - the first one has a brilliant dinosaur fight scene, the second one has too many plot holes and inconsistencies to take seriously

Knowing - a Nicholas Cage sci-fi/apocalpytic classic, pretty decent

Stranger Things (random episodes) - i tried to get my bf into the show but sadly he still isn’t much of a TV fan

Miranda (random episodes) - such fun!

Black Mirror (seasons 1 & 2) - another one i introduced the bf to, i got a bit further with him on this one, the very first episode being the highlight

The Last House on the Left - a decent remake, but nothing outstanding

Dark (season 3) - this, my friends, is one of the greatest shows of all time. want a timey-wimey story where everything is connected and has an amazingly satisfying conclusion? this is the show for you!

The Silence - a bad ‘A Quiet Place’

Geostorm - i’m a fan of disaster movies but this one wasn’t in the same league as some of the greats

Panic Room - a mum and kid hides in the panic room when a group of thugs break into the house, it was enjoyable but not all that memorable

Prisoners - a very long film with some enjoyable parts but overall unsatisfying

Girl on the Third Floor - it was okay, i can’t remember much of it

The Woods (season 1) - another Harlan Coben adaptation- not as good as ‘Safe’ or ‘The Stranger’ but still a gripping thriller

Time Trap - a fun time-travel film with some interesting turns of events

72 Dangerous/Cutest Animals (random episodes) - just ‘cause i love animals

Slasher (all of it) - some very gory deaths, especially in season 3. quite disturbing but keeps the suspense up throughout.

2012 - a guilty pleasure of mine, realistic or not

Kingsman: The Secret Service - a fun spy film, will be looking to watch the second one soon

Blackfish - this was harrowing, it really made me think, but overall i’m on the side of tilikum

Unsolved Mysteries (season 1 & 2) - watching some of these my jaw dropped, love theorising on this kind of stuff

Down to Earth with Zac Efron (season 1) - Zac is great in this, he seems so chill and literally ‘down to earth’

The Call - I love this film, seen it 3 times now

Contagion - very relatable right now, interesting to see the parallels with todays situation

Next in Fashion (season 1) - i didn’t get too far with this, i found it a little superficial

Searching - another of those internet web-cam based films. decent but not memorable.

Non-stop - another Nicholas Cage classic, this time a suspense thriller

Freaks - as the title suggests this one was rather weird, i didn’t quite gel with it

The Perfection - wow, that was an experience. definitely memorable, even if some characters make questionable decisions...

Extraction - not usually a fan of action-type thrillers, but i actually enjoyed this one, plus it has Chris Hemsworth in it!

Line of Duty (season 2) - full of suspense, a great build-up in the first 5 episodes, but the way they tied it up really grated on me 

Insidious - watched this one with my sister. a genuinely good horror film on rewatch with an amazing cliff-hanger

A Quiet Place - another one watched with my sister. labelled a horror but its more sci-fi, either way its a classic. bring on the second film!

The Dark Tower - disappointing mostly.

Gladiator - i’d never seen this before and now i understand the hype- what an epic movie!

Criminal UK (season 2) - didn’t disappoint following the exceptional first season

Venom - a fun comedic marvel film, definitely need to watch more from Marvel in the next year- i need an order to watch them in as don’t know where to start

Our Planet (season 1) - chill David Attenborough to put on in the background

The Equalizer - a great action revenge thriller plot with a badass Denzel

Merlin (random episodes) - who doesn’t love a trip down memory lane with some nostalgic bbc merlin?

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) - pretty scary remake

The Witcher (season 1) - rewatched in order to familiarise myself again before season 2 - i didn’t realise how funny the show was until this time round, gotta love Jaskier!

American Murder: The Family Next Door - this was haunting

The Haunting of Bly Manor - phenomenal, emotional, creepy, heartbreaking - i much preferred it to Hill House

Abducted in Plain Sight - seriously, how naive are the parents in this? i could have a rant for hours about this!

The End of the F***ing World (seasons 1 & 2) - very bingeable, Alyssa makes me laugh too much, i love how relatable the show is

Fractured - didn’t expect much from this consipiracy-type film but it kept me guessing right till the end

The Ripper (limited series) - very intriguing, but the mysogyny in this was shocking

Inconceivable - a typical mother looking for her baby revenge plot but still entertaining

The Midnight Sky - i’d heard rave reviews for this but was disappointed by a lacklustre plot which was sacrificed for award-winning cinematography

Killer Women with Piers Morgan (season 2) - a pyschological interview series which looks into the mind of murderers, rather interesting

May the Devil Take You - scarier and jumpier than i thought it would be!

So 2020 obviously gave me a lot of time to watch a s**t load of stuff and looking back at it i feel like i got a decent amount of my watch-list ticked off! And obviously this is not including shows watched on other media so there’s that too (a special shout-out to the William Hartnell era of Doctor Who which I watched this year on BritBox). In all, 2020 has definitely introduced me to a few new fandoms and progressed my love for others. 

[ravs6709]

These Feelings Inside (How Deep Do They Go)

Chapter 2- A Broken Heart

Read on ao3.

Masterlist. Previous. Next.

Woo, chapter 2 of the fic for the @kotlc2021collab! Fun fact, like all of this chapter was supposed to happen in the first one, but I got carried away with the prologue (which I do like)

Anyways, this is a mermaid (siren) au, so its about time we meet a siren. I've mentioned last time that this was inspired by Siren's Lament. I didn't use those lyrics as the siren song, and instead made my own (with very loose inspiration from SL's version)

And uh... I did record myself singing it, and made a post for it. If you want to listen to it, you can go here! (I'll put a link at the end too)

Warnings I guess? Uh, Sophie goes through a whole panic section at the end. And then the siren lures her and it's indirectly said that she falls off a cliff/whatever and into the water and starts drifting off. Idk how to label that but yeah

Anyways, enjoy!

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Sometimes, I'm still surprised you keep them," Biana said, gesturing to the various flowers that were in the corner of Sophie's room. "I mean, if you ever want him to look at you differently, you're going to have to make a move. You know that, right?"

Even without saying a name, Sophie knew that she was referring to Fitz. It took a long time until she'd admitted the crush to Biana, who had already known. She always liked keeping the flowers that Fitz gave her, and would keep them for as long as possible. They might not be what she wanted, but she still appreciated the fact that he even gifted the flowers to her in the first place.

"It's not like I've kept them all," Sophie pointed out.

She ignored the fact that the ones that she had thrown away were too old to be kept.

Unfortunately, Biana knew that. "If they didn't wilt so easily, you'd be keeping them all. But you ignored my question. You know that you'll have to make a move, right?"

"Biana, he gave me a yellow rose first. He's the one who made his feelings clear first. What am I supposed to say? Oh yeah, I've had a crush on you for like eight years now, and I never mentioned it before because you've been giving me signs that you clearly see me as a friend? Is that what you want me to tell him?"

Biana shrugged. "When you say it like that…"

"Even if saying that did work, it's not like I'd be able to actually say it. My brain just runs non-stop but then the moment I make eye contact everything just stops."

"Sophie, when has he not been understanding of you?"

That was true. A lot of people didn't take the effort to try and understand Sophie, but Fitz did. The way he was so respectful- despite the fact that it should have been basic decency- was one of the numerous reasons why Sophie loved him.

"I know he'll be understanding, but that's just going to make things even more awkward."

"I guess. Should we go down now?"

"Sure."

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Oh, Fitz, you're here! What are you doing?" Sophie asked.

While he did come over often, he was usually busy on Thursdays, which was why Sophie was surprised to see him.

"I'm free this time, so I figured that I'd drop by," he explained.

She liked that he was around for the visit. Working at the shop wasn't boring, but it was more entertaining when she had someone to pass the time with. 

He walked closer to her, and rested a hand on her shoulder. "Also," he whispered. "I'm making sure that plans for tonight go well."

She glanced at Biana for a moment, who was on her phone. Sophie whispered back. "Your house or mine? I think yours would probably be better."

"What's the movie for tonight? That movie Biana said that she wanted to watch?"

"That's the plan."

"I don't get why you two always get secretive about the birthday movie night," Biana said.

Both Sophie and Fitz spun towards her, and it turned out that she still wasn't looking up from her phone.

"We've been doing this for years ."

"It's the birthday spirit we're trying to achieve, and you know that!" Fitz defended.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

•~•~•~•~•~•

The couches at Everglen were really comfortable. It was even more comfortable to be sitting with her friends. The birthday person was often the one who sat in the center, and Sophie smiled as Biana wrapped an arm around her. Occasionally Dex would join them, but he wasn't available this time.

The movie was playing, but they were only somewhat paying attention to what was going on. Sophie paid more attention to the clock, which showed 11:58 p.m. Just two minutes away from midnight, or Biana's birthday. She counted down the seconds, until it was finally time.

"Happy birthday!" she cheered.

"Happy birthday!" Fitz repeated.

"Thanks, both of you."

•~•~•~•~•~•

"You'll be fine, right?" Sophie asked.

"Sophie, it's just one day," Edaline said, exasperated. "You don't have to feel bad about taking a day off."

"Tell us how the game goes!" Grady added.

Biana's university team had managed to make it to the finals for volleyball, so Sophie and Fitz planned to go support her. But it also meant that neither of them would be at the shop.

"You'll text me if you need help though, right?"

"Yes, we'll text you. You can leave, it looks like Fitz is waiting for you." Edaline pointed to the entrance, where Fitz was indeed standing.

"Bye mom, bye dad!" she said, before kissing them both on the cheek.

Fitz took her hand as they walked to the car. She concentrated so hard on trying to stop herself from blushing that she didn't realize when they stopped walking.

She'd been pining after Fitz for around eight years, and her feelings had gotten easier to work with. Most of the time, at least. But during the times like this, those feelings that she suppressed would fight to be released. He was casually affectionate, which was great (sometimes she found it hard to initiate the contact, no matter how much she wanted it), but it constantly did things to her heart.

Each time it happened, she had to remind herself that no , he wasn't flirting with her or acting out of romantic interest. That was just how he was.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts, let go of his hand, then went in the car. It was silent on the way there, but she needed that silence in order to prepare herself. She took out her headphones once they were almost there.

"Sophie?" Fitz called out.

She responded with a hum.

"You know how it is. If it gets too loud, squeeze my arm."

She hummed again.

Then they arrived, and made their way to the seats. Biana was brilliant on the court, and she seemed to be doing even better than usual. By the end of the game, the cheering got loud, but not bad enough that it hurt. Biana's team had won by a decent amount.

"Congrats, Biana!" Fitz cheered once it was over and they met up.

"It feels unbelievable, because that was the finals? I can't believe we just won!"

"I knew you could do it," Sophie stated.

"I mean yeah, but the other uni was also really good! Guess it wasn't their day, huh?"

"It was definitely your day though," Fitz replied.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"I hate the fact that horns exist," Fitz groaned.

"What, so you like being hit by blue shells?" Sophie asked.

"Obviously not! But I like hitting you with them!"

"If you're able to get blue shells, it's clear that you aren't good at the game!"

It was game night again, and they were playing the newest version of Mario Kart, a game that was nostalgic to them. They were sitting in Sophie's room this time. Biana wasn't there, as she was busy studying with Dex.

"Look, if you aren't second place all the CPUs are there and you aren't safe," he retorted.

"Then just don't be third place? It's not that hard?"

Somehow, he managed to actually do that, and was quickly approaching her kart. It was the end of the final lap, and he passed her. But she got a red shell, shot him right before the finish line, then won first place.

"Excuse me?" he shouted. "Why do you get the red shells?"

She turned towards him with a smirk, only to be startled by the proximity. All she could see were those teal eyes, and the snarky reply she had planned to make was now forgotten. His eyes were wide, and he seemed to barely be breathing. It felt like time had frozen.

Could she take the risk and close the gap between them?

Should I?

Before she could make up her mind, he turned away, and he even moved slightly further away.

He's keeping his distance…

The realization was a hard blow to her, because that wasn't something he had ever done before. Was he that bothered by it?

"I thought you were good at the game," Fitz teased.

But unless Sophie was imagining it, his tone wasn't as lighthearted as it usually was. She tried to channel the frustration and use it to focus on the game, but she was doing worse. Ninth place. She hadn't scored so low in a while.

"Looks like that was the last game," he pointed out. "I'll head home now."

"Bye, Fitz."

She winced at her voice, because she was doing a terrible job at pretending that she was okay. Once she was sure that he left, she buried her face in her hands and just sat there. What was going on? Was Fitz mad at her? That would be the only reason why he would distance himself like that.

But why? Did she do something wrong? If she knew, she'd try and set things right. But what was she supposed to do?

Even though her room was large, she felt restricted. Too small, too hot, too suffocating. She couldn't breathe.

Her actions after that were a blur. She'd grabbed a sweater and went outside. She walked aimlessly along a path. The area seemed vaguely familiar, but she couldn't tell where she was.

The wind was cool against her face, the only thing that kept her remotely aware of her surroundings. There may have even been rain too.

Breathe. You need to breathe .

The voice sounded strangely like Fitz's, and it reminded her of when she had a panic attack and Fitz was there to help her. But he wasn't here this time. Was he going to start avoiding her? What about Biana? Did she have a problem with her too? W-

There was a hum, loud and melodic. She looked around for the source.

 

'Oh you, with that broken heart.'

 

"Who's there?"

 

'You, whose life's falling apart.'

 

Almost as if against her will, her mind replayed the moment of Fitz turning away from her. The rain fell harder, making it harder to see anything except her own imagination.

 

'Have you come here to the sea,

To drown in your memories?'

 

If Fitz and Biana were going to distance themselves, what was she going to do? Ten years worth of memories, were they just going to be tossed aside?

 

'The weight of them is too strong,

Crushing you, it's all so wrong.'

 

Different memories kept emerging. Her first meeting with Biana. Her first meeting with Fitz. Exchanging flowers with Fitz. Weren't the worst memories the ones that started off good? They were the ones that had you soaring, until you're being dragged towards the ground.

 

'May the waves wash all the tears,

That you've gathered through the years.'

 

Sophie knew that she could show her emotions around her friends, but she hated doing it. She had a tendency to suppress her sadness and tears and right now felt like a good time to just let it out.

Very distantly, she could feel herself walking towards the source of the singing.

 

'But what if there was a way,

To make the pain go away?'

 

Was that a thing? She hated doubting her friends, it hurt so much. But if she could just not worry, wouldn't that be better? Wouldn't that ease so much of her pain?

 

'To leave behind your sorrows,

Enter a new tomorrow.'

 

If tomorrow could come and ease away all of her pain, shouldn't she take that chance? Her foot caught against the ground, and now she was tumbling forward, and fell into the water.

 

'I have an offer for you,

You can start your life anew.'

 

The fall was by no means something that snapped her out of her daze, but Sophie found herself slightly more aware. Starting your life anew? Did she want that? Did she want to leave behind the people she loved?

Wasn't that what she worried Fitz was doing? Throwing their love away?

Sophie thought of the memories that they'd shared. It hurt, but they were the best memories that Sophie had. Would it ever be worth it to throw away all those good times just to abandon a potentially bad one?

I want my life , she told herself. I'm happiest with them. But… it's hard.

 

'You can escape the abyss.'

 

The voice was so much louder now, and she tried to move away, but her body wouldn't move.

 

'All I ask is for one kiss.'

 

She couldn't see, and she could vaguely feel a pair of lips press against her own. She was just drifting, in both her thoughts and the sea. She kept drifting until she could no longer feel anything.

•~•~•~•~•~•

You can find the song here!

Kotlc taglist- @keefeinnit @impostertamsong @my-swan-song @subrosasteath

Want to be added/removed from the taglist? Just let me know!

[straycat-writes]

saudade (edogawa ranpo)

saudade (portuguese, n.) - a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved and then lost.

requested by: @starryneve​

Most days, she was able to push all thoughts of him to the back of her head and go about her life. Most days, there was enough to distract her and keep her from dwelling on the past and all that used to be. Some days, his face wouldn’t even cross her mind. Other days….other days, he ruled supreme over her thoughts. Every place, every person, every thing would somehow inevitably remind her of him, and no matter how much she tried, he would refuse to leave her head.

Today was one of these days.

Although, that might have had something to do with her recent return to Yokohama. Walking through the streets, she couldn’t help but think that the city hadn’t changed all that much in the last decade or so that she had been away. The Yokohama bay bridge was exactly as it had been, standing tall in all its majestic glory. The streets were mostly unchanged too, lined with many of the same shops that she used to frequent with him.

“You don’t understand, (y/n). I ~need~ a cupcake.”

“No, Ranpo. You want a cupcake.”

“Whatever, it’s the same thing! Now, can we please just go?”

She laughed as the memory popped up suddenly. He was beyond fond of sweets but so incredibly terrible with directions and used to get lost if she didn’t accompany him to places. She wondered if his navigational skills had got any better in all these years, but then shook her head. Knowing him, he had probably got worse.

She crossed the road, looking at all the faces in the crowd surrounding her. She didn’t know what she was hoping for. That she’d somehow run into him after all these years right where she had left him? For all she knew, he may not even live here anymore. Still, she could hope.

They were both just kids back then, and she couldn’t even remember she had ended up becoming friends with that strange, genius boy with a sweet tooth. But she had, and he had ended up becoming an inseparable piece in the puzzle that comprised her life. A piece that was missing now, leaving the place where it should have been feeling so terribly empty and there was nothing she could do about it.

The last time she had seen him, they had gone to get ice cream. She remembered because the moment she had broken the news to him, the one had fell from his hand.

“But…but you’ll come back…right?”

“…I’m sorry, Ranpo.”

He had got upset, more so than she had ever seen him before, and stormed away from her. She had been worried about him getting lost but didn’t want to make him angrier than he was. That was the last time she saw him. He didn’t even come to see her off the morning she left with her family. She didn’t blame him, not really. She had sprung the news on him with no warning, and his anger was justified. But it still hurt. Most of all, she wished they hadn’t parted on such sour terms.

The bell over the door tinkled as she entered the café and she sighed in n bliss at the warm, mellow smell that greeted her. She still had a few minutes until she had to be at the job interview she had scheduled for today, and figured grabbing a coffee beforehand would make her seem at least somewhat more awake and alert than she really felt.

The lady behind the counter gave her a warm smile as she ordered her drink to go. Minutes later, she was handed her order and she thanked the lady. As she left the café and stepped back out into the cold air of the outside, she was almost knocked over by someone who came barreling into her from the side. Luckily, she didn’t lose her balance and only spilled some of her coffee. She looked at the young, white-haired boy who had crashed into her. As soon as he was back on his feet, he bowed to her in a distressed manner, apologized profusely and ran off, presumably to wherever he had been going in such a hurry in the first place. She sighed and shook her head.

Yokohama was still as strange as it had ever been, its people as eccentric as she remembered them. She had barely been back for two days when some lunatic covered in bandages had leaned down in front of her and asked her to strangle him with her ’beautiful hands’. She had refused, of course. But she really hoped she didn’t run into him again.

As she reached her destination, she double checked the address in her phone. Second floor, it said. She looked up at the building and frowned. It didn’t really look like the place any respectable firm would choose to operate from. Oh, well.

She climbed up the stairs, looked around the hallway before finally spotting the door labelled with the name she was looking for. She could hear noises coming from inside, most of it probably just harmless chatter among colleagues, but it was interspersed with some yelling too. She knocked.

The door was soon opened, and in front of her stood a tall, slim man with dirty blonde hair and glasses. He was dressed quite proper, with beige pants and a matching vest over a black shirt. He looked at her and said something. But she didn’t catch it. He looked at her concernedly and said something again, but all her attention had been captured by something else. Someone else.

Behind the man, there were several people inside the office. But all of them blurred together when her eyes caught on him. He was lounging back on a chair, feet propped up on a table and eyes closed lightly. When he finally opened his eyes, her mouth dropped open in surprise.

Green. His eyes were…so very green. And so beautiful and so very familiar.

When he finally saw her, he froze. Staring at her with wide eyes, she figured he was experiencing the same thing she was: a painfully complete loss of words. But she was forced herself to finally speak.

“…Ranpo?”

The single word had barely left her mouth before he got off the chair so quickly he almost fell off in the process. He took one step towards her, then two.

The next thing she knew, he crashed into her full speed, engulfing her in a bone-crushing hug.

[randomvarious]

1990s Hip Hop Playlist

Welp, the 50th anniversary of hip hop completely passed me by over the summer, and I didn't end up saying a single thing about it here, even though hip hop really was my first true music love. So, to make up for it, I've got a bunch of hip hop playlists on the way, starting with this massive update to my 90s one, which adds twenty new songs. The original iterations of this thing were backloaded with late 90s stuff, but now, with this update, I've managed to frontload it with a bunch of early and mid-90s stuff too. So, let's dig in!

Every single song in this update can be found on a quadruple-disc compilation called The Best Rap Album of All Time, which was put out in 1999 by budget UK label Dressed to Kill. It's a superb collection that spans from the late 70s through mid-90s, and comes with some unmistakable classics, but its 90s fare consists of a bunch of underheard and forgotten gems. And those gems seem to be derived from a couple different sources: one, a super overlooked scene that Americans don't know anything about called Britcore that emerged during the late 80s in the UK underground, and saw people (mostly guys) spitting raw, hardcore raps over seriously banging breakbeats; and two, the catalogue of the great, New York-based Profile Records, who put out some fantastic rap tunes during their tenure.

So, first the Britcore. I added a bunch, but Da Hoodzmen's back-to-back tracks, "The Rhyme Ripper" and "Runnin' Rampant," are probably my favorites here. This totally obscure group is actually originally from Orlando, Florida, but their lone release was a 1993 12-inch that was only put out in the UK, on one of the country's top hip hop labels, Music of Life, and it really suited that whole boom-bappin', old school Britcore sound to a T. "Rhyme Ripper" has almost 12,000 Spotify plays and "Runnin' Rampant" has about 3,200. And obviously, they deserve a whole lot more, because even though they're not actual posse cuts like A Tribe Called Quest's "Scenario," they still definitely have that same level of gravitas and energy 😤.

And now, Profile. This label put out a lot of cool and gritty street rap from New York and New Jersey over the years, but they also had deals with people on the west coast, down south, and in the UK too.

So, the most popular add among all of these is "Word Iz Life," a mid-90s rap classic by New Jersey trio Poor Righteous Teachers that feels like it was made to be blasted out of a car's stereo on a hot summer's day. This one currently has about 8.7 million plays on Spotify and is fronted by a serially underrated emcee named Wise Intelligent, who is one of those five-percenter conspiracy rappers with pretty wacky views, but the guy can definitely rap circles around just about anyone, as he clearly shows on this very track here.

Then there's two vets from New York who both happen to possess really deep and distinctly gravelly voices: Nine, from The Bronx, and Smoothe Da Hustler, from Brownsville, Brooklyn. Nine's biggest hit was "Whutcha Want," which hit #3 on the Billboard rap chart and #50 on the Hot 100, but his follow-up single, "Any Emcee," was terrific too, which only peaked at #35 on the rap chart. That song, which pairs his rough vocal with a smooth sample of The Spinners' "I'll Be Around," has about 166,000 plays. And then Smoothe Da Hustler's fantastic piece of 1996 gangsta rap, "Hustler's Theme," which was deeply inspired by Curtis Mayfield's own "Freddie's Dead," only has about 25,000 plays, which is, just, way too low.

And another pretty popular track in this update comes courtesy of LA's legendary DJ Quik, whose slice of g-funk in "Summer Breeze" has about 2.2 million plays on Spotify, and should be everyone's golden age rap summer go-to instead of DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince's "Summertime." Both aim for that same exact feelgood, laid-back, nostalgic party vibe, but "Summer Breeze" is just a better song in every way.

Speaking of g-funk, you can't sleep on Dallas' Ganksta C either, who delivers one of the coolest pieces of hazy, whining synth gangsta rap you'll ever hear in your life, with "Just Another Day," which has about 44,000 plays.

And keeping it south, comes one of Profile's most slept-on signings of all time: M.T., who hails from New Orleans. This guy sounds a bit like Method Man, but he's also able to do that silly thing where you slightly open your mouth, vigorously shake your head, and then produce a noise. And he does it while he raps, which is wild! Comparable in quirkiness to someone like Ol' Dirty Bastard or early Busta Rhymes, M.T.'s excellent "Set It Off" has under 1,000 plays!

And then across the pond in the UK, Profile had Daddy Freddy, who originally hails from Jamaica. He's someone who's unmatched when it comes to that furious ragga style, and he shows why on "Go Freddy Go" and "Haul & Pull," which have about 16,000 and 33,000 plays, respectively.

Standing Ovation - "Onslaught" Daddy Freddy - "Go Freddy Go" Monte Luv & DJ Rob - "Silk Smooth" Militant Posture - "Down of Terror" Brothers on Organised Missions - "B.O.O.M." Brothers on Organised Missions - "Delivering the Answer" 2nd II None - "Ain't Nothin' Wrong" Kobalt 60 - "Kaos From Order" Daddy Freddy - "Haul & Pull" Killa Instinct - "Un-United Kingdom" Da Hoodzmen - "The Rhyme Ripper" Da Hoodzmen - "Runnin' Rampant" Potna Deuce - "Can U Dig It" Ganksta C - "Just Another Day" DJ Quik - "Summer Breeze" Nine - "Any Emcee" M.T. - "Set It Off" Smoothe Da Hustler - "Hustler's Theme" Poor Righteous Teachers - "Word Iz Life" Big Al Zoota - "Zoota Bang"

I also added a couple songs that can't be found on Spotify to the YouTube version of this playlist too. And both tunes happen to be by guys who sport British accents, but only one of them is actually from England itself, while the other, Dana Dane, hails from Brooklyn. Dana faked his British accent in order to stand out from his peers, and it proved to be a successful move, because a bunch of his singles actually managed to chart, including his late 80s classic, "Cinderfella Dana Dane" 😂. But his 1990 song, "Something Special," which currently has about 70 plays, is pretty great too. And then the actual British act, a London duo called 499, supply "Don't Categorise Me," a sweet piece of chill jazz-rap that sounds like it could've been produced by someone like Pete Rock, and currently has about 11,500 plays across its handful of YouTube uploads.

Dana Dane - "Something Special" 499 - "Don't Categorise Me"

And this playlist is also on YouTube Music.

So, with this large update, the Spotify version of this playlist now has 31 songs that end up totaling 2 hours and 9 minutes, and the YouTube version has 52 songs that total 3 hours and 35 minutes. So, if you want a lot more 90s hip hop gems, be sure to check out the YouTube one.

Enjoy!

More to come, eventually. Stay tuned!

Like what you hear? Follow me on Spotify and YouTube for more cool playlists and uploads!

[terreisa]

Love Down the Line: Chapter 9

The last thing Indie musician Emma Swan needs is a gigantic wrench thrown in the workings of her biggest tour to date weeks before its launch.  When her backing guitarist that caused the problem says she has the perfect solution Emma is skeptical but left with little choice but to accept.  Unfortunately she isn’t really prepared for said solution to be former Rock Star and leading man of Emma’s teenage fantasies, Killian Jones.  With no other options and a month of performing across the country ahead of her Emma just hopes she doesn’t come to regret letting Killian onto her stage and into her life.

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, AO3

~*CS*~

Los Angeles, May 24th

“-and there’s a bit of a backup on the 405 just south of the 10 due to a two car accident in the southbound lanes.  That’s the morning traffic report brought to you by your local Southern California Honda dealer.  This is Treena in the morn’ and I got some Yaz on the way along with Echo and the Bunnymen and Talking Heads after this-”

“A clock radio?” Emma mumbled into the pillow, “Really?  What are you, like, three hundred?”

Killian’s chuckle stirred the hair at the back of her neck, “Try thirty-five, love.”

“So you say,” she groused as he reached over her to turn off the alarm.  She blinked up at him as he set his hands on either side of her shoulders, looming over her with a smile, “I bet you still have a landline, old man.”

“And a rather impressive laserdisc collection,” he said with a wink.

“You would.”

He laughed, a bright joyous thing that had her smile stretching from ear to ear.  It was the last of the three days of no shows that they had while in LA and the second morning she’d woken in the bed of Killian’s house in Malibu.  Since their first night together in Denver they hadn’t slept apart, much to Tink’s delight and Will’s annoyance.  When they’d arrived in LA Emma had been surprised and pleased to discover that Killian had a house there where no one would disturb them as long as they kept their phones on silent.  Unfortunately it hadn’t really been an option as her suddenly vibrating phone reminded her.

“What time is Regina sending the car?” Killian asked as he dipped his head and started trailing kisses down her throat.

She hummed in pleasure, blindly swiping at her phone to dismiss the call, “Nine.  We’re having brunch with people from the label to talk about the next album and then it’s interviews for the rest of the afternoon.”

“And after all that we’ll rendezvous back here for dinner and a bit of Netflix and chill,” he murmured into her collarbone before dragging his tongue across it.

“You go-” her breath hitched as his hand travelled up her thigh, “going somewhere?”

He paused his ministrations, much to her frustration, and said somberly, “Aye, Robin still lives out here with his son.  I haven’t been in town for… well, quite a while and I’m long overdue for a visit.”

The delicious tension she’d been feeling mellowed into something warm and soothing at his earnestness.  Ever since they’d landed he’d waxed nostalgic about all the things he’d used to do in the city, places he’d eaten that he wasn’t sure were still around, venues he’d played, museums he’d spent hours getting lost in and all the interesting people he’d met in that time.  What he hadn’t mentioned once was his former bandmate and friend.  In the bright morning light streaming through the wall of windows she could see that for some reason he was nervous about seeing him again.

“You guys talk all the time,” she reminded him, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair and cupping his cheek, “I interrupted one of your FaceTime dates just a couple of days ago.”

Killian chuckled, “Aye, and don’t think I haven’t received more than my fair share of nosey texts about that since.”

She blushed, forgetting that when she’d done the interrupting she’d been wearing one of his shirts and not much else.

“Seeing as Robin has come to Boston several times in the years that I’ve been there it’s only fitting that he gets to monopolize some of my time while I’m here,” he said, one shoulder lifting higher than the other in a half shrug. “I’ll be home by the time you’re done with your interviews.”

“You don’t have to rush back just for me,” she said quickly, guilt already pulling at her, “Just text me when your male bonding time is over.”

“We’ll deal with the logistics later, love,” he murmured, turning his head slightly to press a kiss to her palm, “For now I’d like to pick up where we left off before-”

Emma sighed in disappointment as her phone began to vibrate again.  Knowing that Regina was the only one who would not only call but do so before nine a.m. no matter the time zone she couldn’t ignore it.  She’d made the mistake of doing it before a show in Arizona once and had sworn Regina would have pushed her into the Grand Canyon if she’d been given the opportunity.

Gently nudging Killian off of her with an apology she sat up and grabbed her phone.  Killian sat up behind her, pushing her hair to one side as he nuzzled into her neck.  Giggling but in no way discouraging him she swiped up to answer.

Regina started talking the second the call connected, “The car will be there in thirty minutes to take you straight to the restaurant-”

“Wait, what?” Emma jerked away from Killian’s ministrations to look at the clock on the bedside table and saw it was only a little after seven. “I thought you said it’d be here at nine!”

“Plans have changed,” Regina said off-handedly. “The brunch meeting is now a breakfast meeting and I’ve pushed up one of your radio interviews to give you the time you’ll need for the streaming exclusives.”

“Exclusives?” She asked warily.

“Enchanted XM wants you to curate a ten song playlist and record intros for their Alt Rock station and then there will be an in-depth interview with one of their djs.  Snowdrops and Buttercups has been their number one request since its debut and is poised to take the number one spot on the chart next week.  It’s also been getting increasing play on their hits station.  We need to strike while the iron’s hot.”

Emma tipped her head back to stare at the ceiling as she counted to ten to keep her patience.  She was well aware that self promotion came with the territory, especially as a solo artist, and usually she had no problem giving interviews or whatever little fun extras needed to do so.  What she hated was that Regina tended to take liberties with her schedule whenever they were in a big enough city and there was extra down time.  It was all the more frustrating that Regina knew that things between her and Killian had shifted and apparently didn’t care about infringing on their time alone together.

“We’ll still be done by six right?” She asked, resigned, Killian’s warm hand gliding across her shoulders calming her much more than her counting had.

“Yes,” Regina huffed and Emma could practically hear her eyes rolling, “You and lover boy can have your romantic evening together and don’t think we won’t be discussing how to play whatever it is you two are doing to the press.”

“Really?” She growled.

“Really.”

Before Emma could even begin to shoot down that idea Regina had hung up, leaving her staring at the phone in her hand with disbelief and anger.  Even Killian’s gentle ministrations were no longer helping.

“I need to get ready,” she said mournfully, moving to stand from the bed.

Killian stopped her with a hand on her wrist, “Everything alright, love?”

“Yeah, everything’s great.  The meeting with the label got moved and there’s already a car on its way.  Which normally wouldn’t be a big deal but-” she shrugged, still angry but also starting to blush, “We were getting to the good stuff.”

“That we were,” he agreed with a salacious grin.  Then the grin faded and he narrowed his eyes at her, “Was there something else she said?  You seem upset over more than just an earlier meeting.”

Emma hesitated.  As much as she wanted to share her frustration with Regina dictating her life she couldn’t do so without bringing up the questions she’d successfully avoided since the morning after they’d first slept together.  First and foremost, was what they were doing just as important to him as it was to her and if it was, then what did that mean for them once the tour was over and they returned to their respective lives.  Chickening out she figured they could talk it over later, when there wasn’t a time constraint or a full day of interviews where she’d need to keep focused.

She shook her head and smiled, “Nothing you need to worry about.  Regina just has me getting some list of songs together for some streaming thing and I have no idea what I’m going to pick.  It takes me two hours to edit the playlists I already have, how the hell am I supposed to choose ten songs and then talk about them?”

“Simple, pick one of your playlists, put it on random and the first ten songs that play are the ones you choose,” he said easily. “You already know and enjoy those songs if you spent two hours picking them and there’s no pressure of trying to curate a perfect list from scratch.”

“That’s… actually a really good idea-” she beamed, grabbing her phone and bouncing up from the bed.  She spun around and gave what she hoped was a come hither look, “You know, I hear California is in a drought.  It’d be a shame to waste water by taking separate showers.”

His lips curled wickedly, “I’d say that I love the way your mind works, Swan.”

Taking his hand she led him into the bathroom and made good use of the less than twenty minutes they had before her car arrived.  Several hours later, however, she wished she had pushed back a little more against the schedule Regina had set up for her.  Of course she’d had no way of knowing that her too short morning with Killian was going to be the least stressful of her day.

Sitting in one of the green rooms at Enchanted XM between the recording session for her song picks and her interview she let her eyes slide shut.  It had already been a long day and it was nowhere near being over and done with.  The breakfast meeting had been good, the representatives from the label had been pleased that she had already written a few songs that she felt were strong contenders for the next album and they had easily agreed to giving her three months off after the tour to work on the rest.  Even Regina had been pleased with the meeting, if her short and not too unreasonable list of demands for moving forward were any indication.

The interview she’d done directly after had been the kind that she’d gotten used to over the years.  Questions that were more often than not the same ones others had asked her time and again.  She’d gotten good at making it sound like she was hearing them for the first time and varying her answers just enough so she didn’t sound like a robot.  The best part were the teasing texts from Killian waiting for her once she was done.  She was surprised and touched that he had taken the time out of his day to listen to her interview, especially since he knew how unexciting they could be.

As her day continued Regina had left her to make her way to the Enchanted XM studios on her own.  Once there she had immediately had to get to work ironing out her list of songs and recorded the intros with the program producer.  It had been more fun than she’d anticipated.  She’d already had her choices written down in one of her ever present notebooks, having listened to a randomized playlist in the car on her way to breakfast like Killian had suggested.  The first ten songs that had played had been perfect but she’d made one substitution to make sure that a Realm of Jewels song was one of her picks.  It was her thank you to Killian for giving her the idea in the first place and a not so subtle wink to whatever was going on between them.

The producer, a woman named Gwen, had been impressed with her choices.  They’d spent nearly an hour talking them over, working through a rough script of what she would say about each one.  Then she had been taken to a small recording booth where it had taken less than an hour to get what they needed.  She’d wanted to text Killian about it but Gwen had immediately invited her to lunch and she hadn’t had the chance.  Once they’d returned to Enchanted’s headquarters she’d been asked to record a few small promos for the stations that played her songs in heavy rotation.  Not willing to say no she’d been ushered to another recording booth with barely any time to take a breath.

Being left alone in the green room was a welcome break from what had become an increasingly busy day. Just as she was about to pull out her phone for the first time since after her first interview the door opened and Regina stormed in, angrily snapping at whoever the poor soul was that was still in the hallway.

“-not recording as scheduled and I want to know why a rider was requested when nothing that is on it is in this room.  There’s not even a bottle of water.  See that it gets taken care of.”

“Of course, Ms. Mills.”

The disembodied voice wavered slightly and Emma's earlier annoyance at Regina flared back up.

“The water that’s in here is fine,” she called out, leaning forward and catching the eye of the young woman in the hallway giving her an apologetic smile.  She turned pointedly to Regina and glared, “I don’t need anything else.”

“That’s not the point,” Regina sniffed, her dark eyes narrowing followed by the sound of retreating footsteps. “Certain expectations were to be met and they weren’t.  Just one more thing this company has failed at.  I have a mind to stop booking appearances here if they’ll just be treated like this.”

“Okay, this is about something more than water bottles and a missing box of Milk Duds.  What’s going on?” Emma asked suspiciously.

Regina pursed her lips as she took out her phone and began rapidly typing.  Emma waited patiently for her to answer, knowing better than to push if she wanted to keep her head on her shoulders.  With a final tap on her screen Regina focused back on her with a wary look that immediately had her on edge.

“You were supposed to do the on air interview with Graham Humbert but apparently due to an ‘unfortunate’-” Regina rolled her eyes, “scheduling conflict you have to do it with Walsh Hoakley instead.”

Emma groaned.  An interview with Graham would have been fun and easy.  They’d both gotten their start in the business around the same time, so he not only knew what types of questions she enjoyed answering but what her boundaries were when it came to her personal life.  Walsh, on the other hand, was the complete opposite.

Every interview she’d had with him had her sitting through bad jokes and his comparing her career against his own.  He had been the frontman of a pop punk group that had taken a break almost a decade before, though he insisted that it was only a matter of time before they would release another album.  It was bad enough she had to play nice as he gave her unsolicited advice but once the mics were turned off he tended to dial up his smarmy charm and invite her out for drinks or a meal.  She’d always firmly said no but he’d kept it up and after their last interview nearly two years earlier she’d told Regina that she preferred not to do any more with him.

“I thought he was with that big station in New York,” she said sullenly.

“Apparently not,” Regina sniffed.  Her eyes softened fractionally, “Do you want me to reschedule?”

“No,” she sighed, “We’re already here and I know we don’t have any time to come back while we’re still in LA.  Plus I don’t want rumors starting that I’m being difficult over Walsh Hoakley.  I don’t want to give him that honor.”

Regina smirked, “I’m sure he’d dine out on that for years.”

“He would.  So where’d you disappear to?” Emma asked, through talking about Walsh.

“I do have other clients that happen to conveniently live where their label’s offices and some of the best recording studios are,” Regina said drolly, perching herself delicately on a chair. “You might want to reexamine the benefits of moving out here after this tour is done.  You’re only going to get bigger from here on out.”

She hummed noncommittally.  For a few seconds she let herself daydream about moving into Killian’s beachfront house, waking up in his arms every morning before heading to the studio that would admittedly be leaps and bounds better than the one back in Maine.  She could almost see herself returning at the end of her day to find Killian preparing dinner in the kitchen or strumming his guitar on the balcony.  Before her thoughts went any further than that she stopped them in their tracks, forcing herself to remember all the reasons why she loved living in Storybrooke and to not let herself get wrapped up in a fantasy.  She didn’t let herself dwell on how her imaginings had given her the same feelings of home that her real memories of Storybrooke did.

Ten minutes and an increasingly impatient Regina later another assistant came to show them to the recording booth.  From behind the glass they watched as Walsh introduced the next group of songs that would be playing and teased her interview.  As soon as he switched off his mic she was ushered into the booth, shown which headphones and mic to use and then left alone with him.  To her great relief he smiled and shook her hand, seemingly not knowing that she had requested not to do interviews with him.  She smiled back, settling in the chair in front of the mic she’d been shown and adjusted everything to her liking.  As they waited for the queued songs to finish playing they made small talk about their day and the thankfully very few mutual acquaintances they had.

The interview started off well.  Walsh only mentioned his band Behind the Curtain twice and kept his advice to a minimum.  Emma found herself actually enjoying the questions he asked, responding with enthusiasm when he asked about living in Maine and her writing process.  She was so caught up in lightheartedly debating with him over notebooks versus a phone app to write lyrics that she was surprised when he mentioned that their time was drawing to a close.

“So, Emma, before you go, how has this tour been so far?  You’ve only got a few shows left right?”

“Yeah, just the last few cities heading north but it’s been really, really great,” she enthused, “This is the biggest tour I’ve ever done and the fans have been amazing in every city we’ve played.  I’m actually really looking forward to tomorrow night’s show since it’s where they have the Oscars.”

“Right, the Dolby theater, when we played it was still the Kodak and it’s a great venue.  Bigger than what you would think when you see it on tv,” Walsh said with a wink and a grin.

Emma fought against a cringe at his bad innuendo, glad that he hadn’t been like that through the whole interview.

“I haven’t had a chance to get in the space yet and, I know this is really nerdy or whatever, but I’m really excited to stand on the same stage that some of my favorite actors have been on.  I mean, some of my idols have played there and it’s always an honor to get to perform where they have too, but come on, tomorrow I could be standing in the exact spot where Meryl Streep or Tom Hanks or Oprah have stood.  Oprah!”

Walsh chuckled, “So you still get starstruck meeting other celebrities?”

“Oh, yeah,” she said with a nod. “I don’t even think of myself as a celebrity.  I live in the same town I mostly grew up in, all my friends are ones I’ve had since before I even thought about recording an album, I don’t even have ‘people’ or whatever.  I nearly had a heart attack seeing Lady Gaga from across the room at a benefit concert once.”

“So how was it when you met Killian Jones, famous guitarist for Realm of Jewels, before the start of your tour?”

She shot a glance to the window into the sound booth where Regina had been throughout the whole interview.  Regina barely looked up from her phone and nodded, twirling her hand in a gesture Emma took to mean keep going.  They had talked about what would happen when Killian was finally recognized but the longer they went without it happening the more she had convinced herself that they could get through the whole tour with no one the wiser.  It seemed their time was up.  Taking a deep breath to settle her racing heart she looked back at Walsh and found him watching her closely.

“I was surprised and a little annoyed actually,” she said with a small laugh. “Ruby, the guitarist I usually tour with, had broken her arm but said that she’d found her replacement for me.  The thing was she wouldn’t tell me who it was so I walked into the recording studio and Killian was there.  Realm of Jewels was one of my favorite bands, still is, so seeing him sitting there was a kinda surreal fangirl moment and intimidating too, knowing how good of a guitarist he is.”

“Rumors have been circulating on social media for a few weeks that it was Killian onstage for your tour and then earlier this afternoon uber-producer Robin Locksley seemed to confirm it-” Walsh pulled up a sheet of paper and began reading, “He said in an interview: ‘I’m very excited to begin working with Killian Jones on new music and other projects moving forward.  He’s been touring the past few weeks as a backing guitarist and he told me it’s been a great first step to getting back out there.  I was even fortunate enough to hear a few rough cuts of songs he’s already written for a new solo album and they’re amazing.  I really can’t wait.’  Since you’ve confirmed it yourself have you heard any of his new songs while on the road?  He’s already with your label and turns out he signed on with your manager Regina Mills back in March so will the rest of the tour be a double bill?  Maybe even a possibility of a duet in the future?”

Emma felt dazed, like she’d been hit with a pillow shot out of a cannon.  She had completely forgotten that Robin had become a music producer after Liam and Milah had died.  He’d even sent her an email after her last album had been released, saying he wanted to work with her at some point.  That little detail was nothing compared to the realization that Killian hadn’t mentioned that his lunch with Robin was really about business.  He hadn’t even hinted that he had whole songs written let alone recorded anything.  Worst of all was that he had signed on with Regina before he’d joined the tour and she knew without a doubt Regina would do anything necessary to further a client’s career.  Especially if the final outcome would prove advantageous for two clients at once.

“I, uh, haven’t listened to anything he’s recorded-”

Her phone buzzed at her elbow.  There were several notifications but the preview screen showed a text from Regina.  She opened it in a daze.

Regina: No double billing, play coy about duet, plug rest of tour, still seats in Vancouver

The fog she’d been in cleared away as white hot anger took its place.  She looked at Regina through the glass and found her making the same ‘continue on’ motion she had before.  There was no sign of an apology on her features, only impatience and  the ever present look of expectation that she perform well.  While acting wasn’t her forte she was more than ready to give the performance of a lifetime.

“Killian was only brought on temporarily until Ruby was well enough to play again.  Luckily her recovery happened to work out perfectly with us arriving in LA-” she knew she sounded too upbeat but pushed through, “I’m sorry to dash any hopes but Killian has decided to stay here and focus on his own music.  Ruby will be back for tomorrow night’s show and will be finishing out the tour.  We’re sold out for most of those shows but I think there’s still some tickets left for Vancouver, but not many.”

“So, no duet?” Walsh asked hopefully and Emma wasn’t sure if he meant musically or hinting at something between her and Killian.

“Nope,” she said decisively, her heart cracking as she did. “I’ll be taking some time off after this tour is done.  Rest and relaxation are the only duets I’ll be performing any time soon.”

Walsh laughed, “Now that’s a duo everyone loves.  Well, Emma, it’s been great talking to you.”

“You too,” she said with feigned pleasure.

“Here’s Emma’s latest single ‘Snowdrops and Buttercups’ which has been flying up the charts.  Safe to say you’ll be playing it tomorrow?”

“Yup.  It’s been fun to see the responses get more enthusiastic as it gets played on the radio more,” she said, finally feeling like she was being genuine.

“That’s always a great feeling,” Walsh said with a grin. “Alright, here it is ‘Snowdrops and Buttercups’. Thanks for stopping by, Emma.”

“Thanks for having me.”

As the first notes of her song filled the studio Emma ripped off the headphones, ignoring the constant buzz of her phone at her elbow.  She wasn’t sure who it was that was calling, she’d told everyone important to her about the interview and she knew they had probably all tuned in to listen.  With the way her pulse was pounding in her temples she wasn’t too sure she could keep herself from unfairly snapping at whoever it was and whatever questions they were going to have.

“Emma?”

She looked up at Walsh and by the way his grin faltered a bit she was sure that her anger was painted clear across her face.

“Yeah?”

“Er, I was wondering if you wanted to grab a drink?” He asked hesitantly. “Talk a little shop, maybe?”

“I already have plans,” she said shortly, the words tasting like the ashes of the evening she originally thought she’d be having.

“Coffee then? Or lunch?  I’m up for anything really,” He said with a wink and a chuckle.

“Look, I don’t know how much more clear I can make this but I’m not ‘up’ for doing anything with you,” she snapped, his annoying persistence the final straw. “I thought that you’d gotten better than the last time you tried this but apparently not.”

She snatched up her phone and turned to leave when she heard him scoff and mutter something under his breath.  She spun back to face him.

“Wanna share with the whole room?”

“Yeah, actually,” he said with a sneer that twisted his face into something vicious. “You act all high and mighty but you’re just a step away from falling into obscurity just like me.  That whole thing about Jones was given to me by your people and by tomorrow morning both your careers will be reaping the benefits from it.  I could have helped you along even further with the contacts I have in this business.”

Emma gaped at him, “By going out with you?  Classy, you sack of shit.”

Something flashed in Walsh’s eyes, “You-”

“Emma!  Let’s go, now.”

For half a second she was grateful that Regina had burst into the room, then she remembered why she was angry in the first place.  She brushed past her, ignoring her stream of hissing admonishments and the stuttered apologies of the producer.  Halfway back to the green room she realized her phone was still buzzing non-stop.  Her stomach lurched, not wanting to know if it was Killian calling when she was walking the thin line between yelling at him or breaking down in tears.  Steeling herself she finally looked at the screen and breathed a sigh of relief, swiping to answer.

“Ruby, pack your shit.  I need you in LA tonight.”

[h-e-l-l-b-r-o-k-e]

Without a Doubt [B.H. x you]

Summary: Billy’s enamored with his desk neighbor. The only thing is, she’s not aware of his existence...or anything, really.

Inspiration: Ballerina Out of Control by The Ocean Blue & Lorelei by Cocteau Twins

Word Count: 1399 Warnings: profanity.

Written Date: 11/7-18/2019 Posted Date: 11/18/2019

Parts: [1] [2] [3] [4] [MASTERLIST]

Billy noticed her brutalized notebook first as it loudly plopped onto the desk beside his. Its front cover hanging on to its last two spirals while angry indecipherable scribbles nearly puncture through the material. The edges were beyond frayed from maltreatment.

He rolled his eyes then and thought to himself, ‘Great…I sat next to the weirdo of Hawkins High.’

But then a subtle scent swirled into his nostrils, smelling of roses and…those essential oils Susan had stored away under their bathroom sink. Girly. Girl. ‘Girl.’

Instead of some overweight, pimpled-faced, greasy-haired brute who spends the majority of his time masturbating to Miss November and probably hasn’t figured out how to make eye contact with the opposite sex without his palms cooking up a sweat, Billy’s ocean blue eyes found her. A rather pretty girl with tangled locks whose wardrobe lacked diverse shades of color.  

Needless to say, she hadn’t noticed him. She hadn’t seem to notice anything. Not the teacher as she introduced herself, not Billy as he was forced to introduce himself as the new kid to the entire class, and certainly not the material her grades would rely on. The steady world outside the classroom was just as dull and lacklustre as the classroom, yet it had cast a spell on her.

And, the whole time Billy hardly noticed anything other than the quiet girl who limply waved her hand just a few centimeter above her shoulder when her name was called during attendance. He hadn’t noticed Tommy H., who would soon become the unshakable monkey on his shoulder, nor Cassie Beckham, the flirt he would have a late night encounter with just a couple days later at the quarry.

In just those first forty-five minutes of class, Billy managed to make out two words in the mess that was Y/n’s notebook, and he wasn’t even sure if he had gotten it right when spelling it out on a different sheet of paper: cocteau twins. ‘What the fuck is Cocteau Twins?’

Never coming across such a strange term, not even in the diversity of California, he didn’t know where he could find the meaning. Regardless, he was determined and became rather obsessive in the hunt for the answer.

He had snuck into his father’s study just to browse through his encyclopedias, but all he found was some French writer he doubted had anything to do with the girl in his class. He had wasted two hours at the local record shop flipping through the ‘Cs’ and ‘Ts’ before putting on his best flirtatious smile and asking the employee if she’d ever heard of them, thinking it could possibly be a band. The employee hadn’t, but she’d been happy to check the inventory list for him before coming up empty.

That didn’t deter him from hopping around other music stores, even when the outcomes continued to be the same. After Tommy had become somewhat of a friend to him, he had joked that madness was doing the same thing every day and expecting a different result. And still, Tommy had not a clue that this search was for the girl in black in their English class for dumbasses. No, Billy’s hunt came to a close when he’d ran out of record stores within the 15-mile radius.

With no hint as to whether this Cocteau Twins even existed, Billy held on. Quite literally.

Just a month into the school year and fall had consumed the town, leaving layers of cracked and chlorophyll-broken leaves for the street-sweepers to clean up almost daily. But while she was staring out the same window at those dead, sinking leaves, Billy decided to forge those same words he’d been searching for onto the center of his palm in blue ink. Tommy had taken to sitting behind him, so he had to stop glancing at her so often.

For always picking on poor souls who crossed his path, Tommy was careful around Y/n, acting like her seat wasn’t preoccupied by one of the sorest thumbs in the entire school. This left Billy even more mystified about her. There was history between the two, just like there was history between Tommy and the soon-to-be dethroned king himself, Steve Harrington.

How deep the ties were in this school, he’d soon find out during a shirts vs. skins basketball scrimmage against the one-and-only Steve Harrington.

With one quick shove of the shoulder, Harrington’s lanky form toppled to the floor. That was all it took for Billy to make the winning basket before offering a hand to his fallen opponent. Leaving the pen markings in his palm vulnerable to scrutinizing eyes, it took only one prolonged glance for Harrington to ponder upon all the answers Billy had been itching to know.

Steve had dated the girl who had introduced him to the virtually underground band whose name was etched into Billy’s skin before leaving her for a new fancy—Nancy, the unpopular girl who grew into her looks quite well. They had dated for a year, and Steve had thought he had loved her all the more when she and Tommy had surprisingly developed a bond that resembled siblings.

And yet, Steve had ultimately ruined everything he had built with Y/n for the exciting chase that was Nancy. It was his fault that Y/n had fallen off the cliff of popularity and had swindled down a hole so foreign to him. He’d stolen what little shine her eyes had held, the soft peaches of her closet, and left her a hollow shell of the girl she was before.

At first, Steve hadn’t a reason to worry about her after the breakup. He didn’t cheat on her and he hadn’t lied to her when he told her he had fallen out of love. Besides, it wasn’t his fault that the friends she had met through him were superficial enough to turn on her once they weren’t an item. There was no reason for guilt to settle in the pit of his stomach when Carol had nastily snickered about hearing his ex’s sniffles behind one of the bathroom stalls because his hands were clean.

But, Steve was different now. He was still very much in love with Nancy but finding this Morse code on his enemy, the need to protect his vulnerable ex-girlfriend as some form of self-redemption shocked his core. And he wondered just what in the hell did Billy have planned for Y/n?

Billy had caught the lingering stare of his enemy, and later that day, Billy had taken Tommy H. to the only bar that didn’t card because a drunk Tommy was a very open Tommy. He spent twenty-three dollars he barely had just to get Tommy spilling his nostalgic guts onto the wooden counter.

“Harrington broke up with her over boring Nancy, and she’s not even hot ya know? No, but see, my Carol is hot. Nancy? Nah, man. Just another judgy bitch that thinks she’s better than us. And now, Y/n—she dresses like a freak. I think she’s fuckin’ depressed, hanging around that ash* chick Samantha sure messed with her head.” Tommy finished his drink and flagged the bartender for another one.

In between the slurring of his words, Billy got the gist of the drama his friend was mulling over and suddenly Hawkins didn’t seem like such an empty puddle. And, yet, Billy acted the oblivious fool when it came to her.

He never speaks to her, never speaks about her. He is a mere observer without a clue as to what Cocteau Twins is because he refuses to make the first move. So, he fucks around with girls whose names he doesn’t give a shit about, fights with other guys for dominance—anything to stir a commotion in this depressing town, hoping one day she’d be enchanted with him instead of their English class window.

A/N: *Ash was one of the many terms in the 80s used to label someone from the goth subculture before the term “goth/gothic” really took off.

[bangtanscenery]

April Showers Masterlist

Winter moves into spring, but the chill still sits at your nose. Come April, and the chill may still be there, rain greeting you in showers that feed little seedlings. Will those flowers grow?

Introducing the first part of our two-part collaborative project: April Showers Bring May Flowers.

Below the cut, you’ll find stories that’ll bring your showers upon you, written by an amazing group of artists. Be sure to also check out our May Flowers Masterlist!

BOY IN LUV

Seokjin is the crush of your entire school. He won the Prom King award six times, and he wasn’t even in high school the first two times. Everyone loves him. But you’re his neighbor, and you’ve seen his worst. You don’t like him.

written by @heyitsmeee2​​ ~ READ HERE

PLEASE DON’T GO

You and Jin were partners in the Police force, and soon became romantic with each other. After investigating a murder you are gunned down during an on foot pursuit. Not knowing if you will pull through, Jin stays by your side in the hospital, not knowing if he will ever get an answer to questions left unsaid.

written by @boywivlove​​ ~ READ HERE

KNUCKLEHEADS

When you refuse to take care of yourself, you’re accepting that the consequences may vary. Or Kendall and Yoongi can’t seem to find a balance within their work and it’s doing more damage than they think.

written by @randomkoalablog​​ ~ READ HERE

PHANTOM

“It’s your papa and mama’s song.”

written by @bangtiddies​​ ~ READ HERE

AMARYLLIS

The year is 1170 AD in the kingdom of Goryeo. Nestled in a quiet corner of their world, two people are drawn together and love blossoms in their hearts. However, as tensions begin to rise between their nations, they are unwillingly pulled into the conflict. Their determination to overcome all odds becomes the nail needed for Fate to hammer into their coffins.

written by @thebiasrekkers​​ (Admin E) ~ READ HERE

LOVE ON BORROWED TIME

Dating Hoseok for the past year had been the best time of your life so far. Your soulmate took care of you, surprised you and made you feel so loved. So why can’t you feel happy when he proposed to you this warm spring day?

written by @namluve​​ ~ READ HERE

PIECES OF YOU

Spring patched up old wounds with its warm breezes and flowers blooming everywhere in sight. It slowly introduced summer, as an old friend, ready to greet Hoseok with nostalgic memories of his childhood and wrap him up in an embrace full of new adventures. Then came fall with it’s cold winds and abrupt endings, disguised in a cloak full of mesmerising colors and sights.

Lastly came winter, stripping everyone of joy and warmth, leaving its traces all over the skin. Ruthless, merciless — it marked a new beginning of endings.

written by @yoongified​​ ~ READ HERE

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

Your roommate and long-time one-sided crush disappears one morning, leaving behind only a post-it note stating two things: 

1. He’s off to finally meet the love of his life whom he met on the internet, might take the whole summer;  2. The name of his friend that will be sub-renting while he’s gone, don’t worry it’s all taken care of; 

written by @joonsrack​​ ~ READ HERE

SLEEP ALONE

The timer on your wrist is ticking away until the moment you get to meet your soulmate. You often spend time daydreaming about your him. The time remaining on the timer has fluctuated throughout your life. Each big decision you or your soulmate makes can have an affect on the timer. A week before you finally get to meet, the timer gets extended by an additional forty years.

written by @spicykoreantatertots​​ ~ READ HERE

TEARS OF ANDROMEDA

Namjoon loves you. You are the sun to his moon. It’s been this way since you were young. But your oblivious nature is only apart of your charm. When he’s finally ready to confess to you? You’re already taken. Broken-hearted he goes to your favorite spot. For the first time he allows himself to cry. Then he hears it - like the liquid tinkling of tiny bells. The subtle glow of stars falling from his eyes starts the countdown.

written by @thebiasrekkers​​ (Admin T) ~ READ HERE

BREATHE

For as long as Jimin can remember, the house is all he’s ever known. His only companion, a calico cat. Neither of them age as the house pulls them through time and space. He can neither interact with people nor stray far from the house. He is cursed to watch the world pass by every year and never be a part of it. But one day, someone not only is able to see the house, but they can finally see him as well.

written by @thebiasrekkers​​ (Admin E) ~ READ HERE

SHADOW OF YOU

Ever since from a young age, you had discovered you had a special gift. You could see ghosts. Most of the time, you avoided them. You had learned from your grandmother that it was best to steer away from their unfinished businesses. One day, you meet Park Jimin, a sad ghost who finds comfort in you.

written by @httpangelicjimin​​ ~ READ HERE

WHEN A LOTUS BLOOMS

Jimin has the perfect life, a beautiful wife and a baby on the way, everything is perfect - that is, until it all comes crashing down around him. She was supposed to be his forever, the one he grew old with, the one who loved him endlessly; now she wasn’t. He’s broken, turning his back on his friends and hiding in the now too-big house, angry at whoever is in the sky for destroying his life. The only happiness in his life is his daughter, everything he does is for her, so when a promotion at work opens up, he has to take it, meaning longer hours and no more working from home. How will he handle not seeing the only happiness he has?

written by @seokjinssymphony​​ ~ READ HERE

THE COLORS WITHIN

A brush and canvas were all he needed in life, they gave him wealth, fame and glory - what more could a man want? Suddenly, an accident takes away the most important thing to him; his eyes. His life is suddenly dark, no end in sight, and his fame and wealth fades into nothing. Taehyung is just a hasbeen - a nobody, his family and friends left him in the dust to traverse his way through the shadows alone. He meets new friends, ones who don’t care for labels or society, ones who accept him and his flaws. Taehyung learns there is more to life than just money and status, he learns how to feel again and how to care for others. His blindness is no longer a curse, but a new beginning.  

written by @seokjinssymphony​​ ~ READ HERE

THIS IS NOT A LOVE SONG

Taehyung got so lost in his own world that he didn’t realise he broke the one person who put him back together

written by @bts-poetry​​ ~ READ HERE

BLACK INK

Left reeling from a toxic relationship, your life is falling to pieces. You want to forget him, but you can’t with his name inked your skin - and your heart.

written by @shadowsremedy​​ ~ READ HERE

BROKEN DREAMS

the writing on your wrist told you he wasn’t the one, his first words towards you were not even close to that of your soulmate’s. so why was he all you could think about?

written by @ddaenysus​​ ~ READ HERE

A FAIRY TALE’S END

You wanted, for once, to be someone important, someone needed- to be wanted and appreciated, to love and be loved. Well, you should be careful what you wish for.

written by @bangtan-dreamland​​ ~ READ HERE

INFINITATEM VENATUS

The battle between Heaven and Hell is reaching it's peak. The line in the sand has been drawn. It's now time to pick a side. Every being whether human or supernatural knows what's at stake. There are certain souls that carry the weight of multiple lives - these souls will turn the tide in someone's favor. It's up to the angels to convince them to The Most High.  Or perhaps the seduction of The Infernal will cause them to fall?

Your soul is on the line. Will you stand with Heaven? Or will you fall into Hell?

written by @thebiasrekkers​​ (Admin T) ~ READ HERE

UNTIL THE LIGHT FADES

To them, Seokjin is a beacon of light, an ethereal being sent to take people out of the darkness. One day, Seokjin’s time runs out.

written by @bangtiddies​​ ~ READ HERE