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#its not his fault he cant do anything
veveisveryuncool · 1 year
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my infant son plinko + mushroom thang
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day 5: animal friend/favorite enemy
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himejoshiangels · 6 months
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obsessed w how bitter and upset duke is w Bruce in this arc. and he has every right to be! he knew Bruce almost personally at that point, and his parents were joker gassed in a recreation of the wayne murders in an effort to get to batman. they were collateral damage and duke had been suffering pretty much alone as a result. his whole ideology is that robin doesn't need batman but on a more personal scale, you can see why he thinks that! when he needed Bruce he wasn't there, when he needed batman he wasn't there either. And he'll fret like he didn't care like it didn't matter but it DID
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Ik I talk abt this panel often but that's bcs KTZZZZ ITS SO CRUCIAL TO DUKES CHARACTER!! He becomes completely self reliant, isolates himself he can't wait on batman to save the city, can't wait on batman to find his parents or wait on batman to save him, he's all he could rely on, and that self-reliance later grew into an almost cynical worldview. it's why his whole "emphasis on the word 'we'" thing at the we of WAR meant so much. he had hope in not just his own beliefs but in others' as well.
ANDDD it's why his and bruce's dynamic drives me up a wall but that's another post for another time..
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235uranium · 1 year
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I haaaaate when ppl treat ford being upset over his identity being taken and his house getting turned into essentially a mockery of his research was completely unreasonable
like, was stan doing his best with a terrible situation? absolutely! would ford kicking him out be an actually fair option? fuck no!
but he's been in this dimension for probably 12 hours. god knows the last time he's slept. he'd been nearly dead prior to going thru the portal and now has to deal with the fact that he's lost everything. he doesn't even have his own identity anymore.
I honestly don't even think half the shit ford says to stan is truly about stanley or ford's opinion of him, so much as it is about his own issues and how weighed down with guilt he is.
I think its worth noting that ford only ever says mean things about stan when he's pissed off- when he's not angry, he's much more willing to actually discuss things and try to find common ground (such as when he invites stan to play d,d&d).
it honestly comes off more as him not knowing how to communicate anger outside of hurting people than it does genuine malice towards stan. and also I don't think ford ever really internalized that stan was homeless in the duration of the show
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moeblob · 5 months
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What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?
What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.
#my characters#this just in ! thats why all the deities in the plot have collars and a chain !#its because THATS THEIR DESIGNATED I AM HERE TO HELP THIS WORLD SYMBOL#they cant remove their collars and thats fine by them - its a constant reminder that they exist to serve#deacon really shouldnt get as much crap as he gets in canon for being weird cause the deities are just a different brand of weird#like its not deacons fault that apparently you can say nice neck with no underlying desire#but he cant say hi would you please possess me i want to know what its like to have someone else in my body#like thats really not something you should pin on deacon YET EVERY deity is like wow what a lil weirdo#he also just really wants to please ymber so if ymber asked he would definitely do whatever#on the flip side i need to point out that deacon very specifically doesnt ask ymber for things nor does he pray for things#and it drives ymber up a wall because this is his favorite human who wont ask for anything and he isnt a psychic#he doesnt know what deacon wants or needs and its infuriating cause he exists to serve humanity#and yet this ONE GUY wont let him do things for him#this is very important and i cant believe i mentioned it like a month ago to someone and today#i received gift art of these two and i may never recover#its so perfect and its ymber just looming over deacon telling him that he can pray about anything to him#its also worth pointing out that when i was telling the person about the whole ymber begging for a prayer#its because he realizes that after all this time hes never had a single prayer from deacon - not before nor after the hire#so hes like oh well thats odd hmm#and then begins to talk to deacon like you know people pray to me for lots of things#and deacon looks at him unsure of what this is leading to - did someone offer a weird prayer? ask a weird thing? whatst?#and no - its just ymber saying that people will pray for wealth or an item#or they will express frustration if something is lost or broken despite it not being ymbers fault so deacon just stares#he has no idea what this is going to end on really so he points out 'well you do like to think you break people'#and ymber just ASDFASDFSADF STOP OK NEXT POINT people pray to me to bless relationships with happiness#and thats fascinating so deacon is like wow can you actually do that?#and ymber is so stressed as hes like i mean kinda i can simply amplify the positive emotions in gestures#like if someone gives an item out of love then its blessed#he also admits that he cant mask insincerity or malice so those feelings are not hidden nor amplified#and deacon just is impressed bc that is actually VERY cool
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cherry-treelane · 20 days
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everytime i feel bad and stressed about my life i remember that i might be in a troubling situation and having a bad time but im not season 4 fiona gallagher in the clink after leaving crack on the counter which my 3 year old baby brother happened to ingest resulting in a fatal near-death experience thats wracked me with never-ending guilt and forever altered my life
#this storyline was stupid you expect me to believe two-apples-tall liam gallagher came close to the crack AND managed to ingest it?#the crack which is lined up on the kitchen counter?#Also i don't believe that fiona would be irresponsible enough for liam to have been able to be close to the crack#that was an ooc moment and not like “its ooc cause thats the point shes going thru a tough time”#morelike “so ooc that it seems like a discrepancy that was overlooked for the sake of drama and shock value#as an older sister i feel like being watchful of your younger sibling if crack is in their general vicinity is an unstoppable instinct#its just not a plausible situation sorry like this is coming from someone who wholeheartedly embraces the realistic idea#of fiona falling short sometimes and being very human by struggling to consistently maintain her doting attentiveness#but anyways it's complicated cause Fiona clearly put it somewhere he cant reach#so how did he get access to it????#its like getting mad at a parent for putting a glass of wine on the counter#not comparing that to literal cocaine obviously this whole situation was nonetheless messed up#but just for some perspective... the writers were clearly doing cocaine themselves if they thought that#liam was bungee-jumping onto the counter and showing off his skills as an apparent budding olympics gymnast#not justifying anything but. listen.#the fact that it was on the counter FOR A REASONNN shows that fiona was careful to keep it out of reach and NOT do something insane like#putting it on the table#liam somehow magically having access to it defeats the purpose of it being on the counter.#if they really wanted for it to be believable that liam managed to snort it they should've put it on the table#but we already know that situation wouldn't be believable in its entirety cause we know that fiona would literally never leave it there#WHICH IS MY POINT. LIKE THIS SITUATION IS JUST ANNOYINGLY UNBELIEVABLE. FIONA WOULD NOT DO THIS AND HOW DID LIAM EVEN GET TO IT??#theres like 39482939 overlooked discrepancies just for the sake of getting to the shock#just to circle back Fiona would literally never let liam go near crack no matter how far gone and fucked up she was#I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I AM AN OLDER SISTER.#its just so UGHHHHH anyways obviously i still think in canon yeah Fiona was at fault shouldve been more careful and watchful#no matter how you look at it its clear that a risk like this just cannot be taken and she had to be blamed to an extent#but me personally? i reject it because it didnt feel natural to me at all there were 394939 other ways to frame a Fiona downfall#And i loved all the other ways her spiral was shown like getting messed up and ending up in Sheboygan#all the shit she got into with robbie + the impulsive urge to ruin the good thing she had going with mike#so human and believable and deeply flawed unlike the liam situation which was horrifically OOC and unrealistic
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s0fter-sin · 10 months
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less a continuation and more of a thought bubble but ghost would hate price in this au
when he pulls him out of the gulag, so many of soap’s new behaviours click into place. things that never made sense to him as a natural progression of who soap was, that aren't just a product of walling himself off and turning his heart to stone
his soap never smoked. always complained when ghost lit up about the damage it did to the lungs, how it would slow him down in the long run
his john, always trying to be the best soldier
that's why seeing him suck on a cigar like it's second nature is so jarring. even more so when he'd only take a few puffs; enough for a taste and to make smoke coil through the air around him. always the same brand, always left to burn down in his fingers
then ghost sees him gift his cigar box to price, something that took pride of place on his desk practically before the man clears medical and seeing the way they both relax as he sets a match to one makes him realise
in an effort to run away from soap, john had tried to mould himself into price
god forbid ghost ever reads soap's journal. he's heard the "what the hell kind of name is soap” story from him, of the first time he'd ever met the captain and if he ever saw his words echoed in john's hand? saw just how far the man had wormed his way, so deep into him that he was speaking with his tongue?
price's monologues, making himself larger than life all in an effort to make this shitstorm feel more grand than just another war they're all trying to live through, acting like he’s being profound when he’s really just dodging anyone that questions him
letting price take roach out from under his wing like soap didn't identify with the kid the second he saw him, all of his self-deprecative habits hitting tenfold as he blames himself for every stray bullet; as if price could've plucked them from the very sky
the way soap steps back without a word of protest to let price command the team he handpicked and price just accepting? like his years of leadership mean nothing, like john means nothing after trying so hard to follow in his footsteps, just to be tossed aside
the rage ghost would feel at his indifference, as if soap’s behaviour is to be expected and not a series of red flags. add the nuke mission and his actions during and after shepherd’s betrayal? ghost would despise him
#this instalment brought to you by mactavishs journal bc holy shit#his obsessive hyper perfectionism is heartbreaking#he sees literally everything as his fault#every failure every mistake every accident he always looks for something he couldve done better#then increases his training to /make/ himsef better#the way he sees himself in roach and wants to help him become a better soldier like price did for him#only to immediately give him to price bc who better to turn him into a better soldier than price#there is so much characterisation in this thing and it blows my mind that it wasnt an ingame easter egg you could find and read#its an actual journal you could buy#it completely changes his dynamic with price from mentor and mentee to this godlike hero worship#and ghost finding out that soaps changed himself so much for this insane guy who almost nuked america?#that he cant see beyond his thirst for vengeance that soap would do literally anything for him#the shepherd betrayal and prices ‘you have to trust someone to be betrayed. i never did’ and you never thought to warn soap??#the rest of the 141 you can understand but hes so callous in that scene#and since ghost and roach live through it i just know ghost would go apeshit for treating soap like hes not worth the dirt under his boots#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#talk to me ghost#09 soapghost#09 soap#09 ghost#captain mactavish#ghoap#soapghost#ghostsoap#cod mw2#ghost cod#soap cod#captain price#we’re a team. ghost team#save post
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arlo-venn · 2 months
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y'all i slept for 21+ hours uninterrupted? haven't done that in a a while.
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quietwingsinthesky · 6 months
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it’s like. for a guy who is such an active, gleeful participant in fucking shit up. like, the number one thing he wants to do is be at the forefront of when things get messy. he wants his face plastered on it, he wants to be the one who gets to hurt everyone, he wants to make sure everyone, and especially the doctor, sees him doing it. to then have the drums also there, always there, so loud that they’re all he can think about when he’s dying, that he doesn’t know what he is without them. there’s a powerlessness at the core of it. this thing that was done to him as a child, in secret, that no one ever believed him about, that he doubted being real despite it constantly ringing in his ears. it just won’t go away. it can’t go away. he can conquer earth and the doctor and he can’t make it go away. there is no longer a version of him that doesn’t have this violation woven through every part of his life.
it really is just horrifying.
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todayisafridaynight · 5 months
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I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh
hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]
i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..
#snap chats#//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes#might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️#@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ...#there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams//#recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking#he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ#oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever#first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway#aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO#though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role#daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot#yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does#if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh#and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing#theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line#masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together#if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack#but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral#im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 ....#and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like#'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)'#and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal#they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway.#tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together#like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀#one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid#so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny.#and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/
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oughh......
#laya plays dragon age#da2#oc: liam hawke#this happened a bit ago already & i wanted to draw sth for it but idk if i will finish that#but i gotta yell abt them anyway because OGH.#i have a lot of emotions about this quest ok#bartrand was the perfect scapegoat he was perfect to direct all the rage and pain at all these years#years of imagining gleeful revenge while bartrand is gloating and laughing like an evil soulless bastard#and then you meet him and he is just. a pathetic husk of a man with barely any own will left#and whats worse. varric is so so torn up about it#varric. the guy who never makes anything about him and who will always handwave and joke when something hits too close to home#drops all efforts to be smart and is just. desperate. begs hawke to not kill his brother#and liam wants to want bartrand dead so bad. he wishes he could look him in the eye and enjoy taking his life#and he knows varric will listen to him if he insisted. he knows when it comes down it it varric will yield to his decision#but he sees this broken guy who is barely the villain he kept projecting onto him and he sees varric and he sees two doomed siblings#and knows what its like to lose your sibling to your own blade#and he cant do it#and he hates it so much. but he wont do it.#and its the reason why i cant decide who dealt the killing blow for bethany bc it makes this scene juicy in different ways#if varric kills bethy its equally wanting to spare each other their siblings blood on their hands#as it is taking some form of revenge (on liams part). we both killed each others siblings. now we are even#the revenge part would still be there if liam did the blow on bethany himself. you made me do that and now i will take bartrand for it#but its also much more i know what its like. i wont make go through that too#if varric killed bethy and then also bartrand it would be more#''its my fault she is dead. i will take the revenge she/you deserves if you tell me to even though it will hurt me#dunno. all good variations i will. have to rotate them in my head more#or maybe just never decide idk they can be in canon limbo forever#anyways thats it for shouting into the void about them for now it Will happen again
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hauntingblue · 4 months
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Justice for jolyne wdym emporio defeated pucci
#can i say maybe i dont like where this is going bc i dont like the priest. like why not have dio do all this. i have to endure his boring#self while not having any motivation bc i still dont know why he wants to do all this bc that backstory doesnt justify anything#while dio is in the background and he has a motive to hate the joestars and create a world without them. idk#this is like light and near but unjustified#i would have prefered the priest resurrecting dio in some strange way than him doing all this i think#and i still dont like his powers ☝🏻 they dont make sense to me and the evolution doesnt either. how can you just flip stands.#also his rant about how he killed all his enemies... josuke and giorno are out there now lmao#retracting my statement they changed the opening but just this last episode#i do like the destiny stuff like the same thing happens in a new world bc of necessity and the whole plot has been about things happening#because it needs to happen but why does this reset need to happen??? why does pucci want it?? so everyone can be happy?? why??#literally nothing that happened to him has been the joestars fault. dio brainwashed him? ok SHOW IT#like the plot is okay but the priest doing all this makes no sense it could be anyone at this point#okay i get it now destiny is like gravity.... but his stands changing makes no sense still. the disc thing got out bc of the plant baby. ok#but the gravity just changed to something else entirely??? to time??#he kept repeating time and space but a space stand would be the hand. gravity is something else entirely#its not like velocity>acceleration or star platinum and the world velocity>time. that makes sense#gravity and time is like my stand makes anything into ice cream and then it makes things disappear#rant at this point but yeah#okay control. the priest wants to know exactly what is going to happen at all times to be prepared and evolve?? and why would dio want this?#weather report...... i mean it was meant to be#yeaaahhh emporio roast him#irene and anakiss ajdhaisjaisjakakakak#i might be crying but this doesnt change my pucci criticisms#the ending song..... incredible choice#i think i liked golden wind too much and i cant control myself and not compare#but pucci doesnt make sense to me here apart from being a priest and wanting to fulfill 'god's' purpose or whatever that means#so now there is a new world but with joestars but they dont have stands?? or just pucci doesn't exist (or dio)#so just the prison gang doesnt get them. but ermes didnt go to prison either. idk#talking tag#watching jojo
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lateseptemberdawn · 3 months
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Ngl bad parents give me such an ick like stay tf away from me ew
#this cousin of mine has twins#twin boys#and while i sort of understand why she is the way she is with them#i realy cant wrap my head completely around it#because well#its such blind idiot stupid fucking BAD behaviour especially for a mother was especially towards her children#especially when theyre twins and youre so blatantly partial the favoured one KNOWS hes favoured#like. she has absolutely ruined her second boy and absolutely cannot handle him and yet slaps him every chance she gets#doesnt listen to him refuses to indulge him even the least bit shows zero affection and ive been here three days and man can i see#that child is fucking parched for affection specifically from him mother because he is neglected#he knows he is neglected#he is scared shitless of her and acts out of his way to get any attention he can because that is the only time his mother will hold him#be it with sharp fingers and a hold that digs into his skin#theyre literally just 5 years old#the neglected child i a fucking dream come true. is already smart as FUCK#does anything you tell him to do RIGHT THAT SECOND#the only flaw is that he doesnt listen when anyone tells him not to do something which isnt even a flaw for fucks sake#thats a fucking child hes gonna ASK#and you shout at him and dont amswer him and when he keeps asking you hit him#my heart fucking cries man#the other one knows his mother favours him and despises his brother and that evil fucker (i know its not his fault) lies#and gets his brother hit and then fucking TEASES HIM ABOUT IT THREATENS HIM LATER ON LIKE I AM SO DISGUSTED#HOW MUCH OF AN AWFUL PARENT DO YOU HAVE TO BE FOR YOUR KIDS TO BE AWARE OF HOW TO MANIPULATE YOU AT THE AGE OF FUCKING FIVE#F I V E (5).#they. are. FIVE.#i seriously want to keep him to myself because she will ruin him#and whats more disgusting is when shes getting him to do stuff shes all like “baby do this” and the moment hes back and standing close she#pushes him away? looks at him disgusted? says “why do you bother me so much”??????#that is child is the most fucking neglected child ive ever seen and seriously man why does this happen and why do I HAVE TO WITNESS IT#the favoured one is pure evil and NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING TO HIM HES DUMB ASF CANT EVEN WRITE ONE WORD WITHOUT DYING DOES NOTHING DOESNT LISTEN
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wyllsravengard · 6 months
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john in rdr1 is so special to me i feel crazuyzuzyszy
#z.gen#rdr1 john is just . so .#like hes like the best of himself embodied and hes so unbelievably duty bound to abi#he loves her so much. and he goes against everything for her and jack. the progression of stupid deadbeat#to worlds most loving and dedicated husband makes me sick#and it makes me feel so unwell that john in rdr1 isnt like arthur.#arthur is a good man. to me it makes sense that he is canonically intended to be moral and upright#mary linton even says so#but i dont think thats true for john. i dont think john is 'moral' as much as he is dutiful#nothing is his concern other than his wife and son and i loveeee that about him so much#i know a lot of people find this to be a fault and surely if you like more heroic characters arthur is much closer to it#but john is so. he is so.#theres something about the way he does anything to protect them that makes me weak#its not self serving like dutch nor is it moral like arthur#everything is for them. everything. every single thing.#he embodies in such a way that it makes me unwell. hes so morally gray but for them? he'd do anything and he does#i just . love how john is bound by duty and not morality#hes not particularly remorseful or good or upright#but he is painfully dutifully. to me because i think thats what he took from the sort of life arthur lead#even though i think arthurs goodness was truer. i think john realized that he isnt arthur#but he became the sort of man he could be and became someone who always paid his debts#and did whatever it took protect what he believes is family. whats important to him#when i think about how deeply his love is tied with loyalty and duty i just get sooo insane. like you dont even get it#and rdr1 john is soooo protective and kind to women and sooo hateful to men which helps#i think rdr2 john is so hateable but rdr1 john is like the most perfect man to ever exist and appeals to me#on a personal level more than arthur. like i just cant stop thinking about him#hes so like. attractive hngfmgkjdf#i can hardly play the game its sooo distracting to listen to him
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kn11ves · 6 months
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emotional support group for autistics who got called condescending and rude as kids just for responding to things directly and still not knowing how they were being mean
#what did i do#i got constantly told by my mother and step father (and his family) that i always talked like i knew better than they did or that i was#just as mature. i was just fuckjng talking what the hell did you want me to do#why do you feel attacked when a 10 year old speaks to you as an adult????? literally what#i dont know on that note sometimes its just like i dont even feel like ive aged at all#sure i have a giant explosion of time in my head just Gone from my memory because i was getting abused but like i dont feel like ive aged#or really matured ive felt like ive alwats felt#i cant relate when epople are like me when i feel all my ages or i wish i could go back to being x age or being x age everything felt so#different..like no it didnt. or im missing something?#i have never in my life felt like anything has changed. ive always been this old. there is no ''inner child'' and ive never had childhood#innocence or a nostalgia or childhood to go back to. i have no idea what any of you are talking about ever👍#ugh jst rmemebred skmething that happened with my white step dad's mother#we visited her house and she literally fucking didnt let me go (not physically) until i replied to her with Correct Granmar. what was i#doing? i was reaponding to her by saying ''yeah'' and she kept repeating ''yes'' like telling me to say yes instead of yeah and i didnt#Fucking Get It because guess what you old white cracker i barely fucking speak english and you are just saying things in an aggressive tone#like thats gonna make me get it. and i Didnt i just kept replying yrah to her yes's and then she got tired of it and we left out the door#and theeeeen i got yelled at in the car by being called disrespectful and rude by my parents. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?????????#those crackers never liked me LOL i literally know they didnt#ugh i rmemeber this one time my step dads father was like trying to show me some dumb boxing or karate or something punching move and he#told my mother that i was good at it because he felt i had a lot of aggression and then NY MOTHER YELLED AT ME IN THE CAR FOR IT??????#oh fucking wonder why te kid being abused mighthave aggression but she didnt Know (apart from what She was doing to me) like why would it#be my fucking fault if he thought i had aggression in me HOW IS THAT MY FAULT WHAT DIDBI DO I WAS JUST TRYING TO DO THE MOVE BECAUSE WELL#I WAS TRYING TO GET ALONG BECAUSE THATS WHAT THEY WANTED ME TO DO#she was like do you know how much that embarassed me and WHAT THE HELL HE SAID IT I DIDNT I WAS LIKE#8??? OR SOMETHING???? I DONT FUCKING KNOW!!! I DIDNT KNOW WOMAN WHAT DID YOU WANT FROM ME#mothers when they mother👍
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asyipyip · 6 months
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hold on everyone shut up im getting super emotional about jonathan sims
#tma#kara stop blogging#thinking about the web. thinking about how it was his first mark#and how that mark how that unaddressed trauma so deeply affected him.#and how befitting that is for the web too- to tie someone up its strands for YEARS#thinkin about how almost every single decision that man makes is made out of fear#that motherfucker has never felt safe in his god damn life you can tell and im EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT#thinking about how so much of his fear response is CONTROL because of it. His ridiculous skepticism was him trying to control it#if he denies it if he refuses to believe in it it cant hurt him#about his paranoia and desperation for knowledge is so rooted in that fear of losing control#about his entire s4 arc and grappling with becoming inhuman. about not feeling like he has any kind of personal autonomy#and how so often thats written off as him making excuses (and dont get me wrong- he makes excuses too. im not saying he doesnt) but also-#like you look at what happened with his first leitner and its like. he couldnt move. couldnt do anything to escape#and then when the other boy got taken he couldnt do anything to save him either#of course he feels like hes never had any control#of course hes desperate for knowledge- if he had only *known* what couldve happened then he couldve prevented it.#the survivors guilt is so deeply part of his character#and thats what makes jonah targeting him so fucking insidious and scary#he took his man who is already so terrified- put him in a situation where he was so out of his depth#knowing that his fear response would be to desperately try and figure out what was happening- to keep asking questions--#pulling himself deeper into the eyes influence and easily turning it around and making it Jon's fault#as if Jon isn't trapped like everyone else- it's just his fear response is so fucking perfect for the role the eye needs him to play#and then it leads to the ultimate trauma of ripping control away from Jon and forcing him to do something so fucking horrible#something he would never in a million years CHOOSE TO DO#how he's so terrified of being made a pawn and he is. playing a game against elias where he couldn't even see the board#locking him out of his own body...forcing him to open the door. like. FUCK#I MEAN FUCK DUDE. PETER LITERALLY SAYS “HE GOT YOU” WHEN JON ASKED WHAT HIS 'PRIZE' WAS#LIKE SCRATCH THAT!!! FUCKING SCRATCH THAT!! he wasn't even a player he was a fucking PIECE in the game#GOD!!!#GOD!!!! free my boy he did nothing wrong (he did so many things wrong)
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chiistarri · 6 months
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imsoo normal about guys byw
#sprry this is the start of my downfall im actually going to theow up and vomit and die#fronting daily actually sucks!and i have no restraint on my curiiusity and i have to figure shit out and i literally want to die#cause like i found out shit i didnt want to and its entirely my fault too bro i cant even be upset cause i went looking for it ughhh#i should be allowed to die afterschool so i dont have to feel anything else tbh thatd be a pleasure great thing whwatever#this is genuinelky the repeat of my downfall again literally september all over again and its just march jesus fucking fhrist bro need todi#the nervous system is so dumb what is ooottfvgvsh or whagevr i hate that dumbass acronym i hate healrhcare#serenity save me 🙏 save me serenity 🙏 come home#everyone keeps sayng that but qith donald trump#anyway back to me i need to scream and not just to serenity cause i feel bad🤭 no emojis are tood enougu anymore bro im going to kms#killing myself so fucking hard like a vampire driving a stake through his heart sort of shit ykwim like a siren drowning ro sokething poeti#save me sid 🙏 sid save me actually hed laugh at me for hthis lowkey which is soo deserved cause real bro why am i breaking down at midnight#on a dchool day too bro again and again i dont want to go to mf schooll and be obsessed w k. hes fine but i genuinely cant do my work#lowkey would iet be weird to talk to my ex ab my relationship with him cause like yea i miss him ykwim and i need closure but i got a crush#cause like on one hand its like i was the one who brokenup ykwim like even if the circumstances werewei4d whatever its like why would i hav#the right to even bring it up and i alr crushed on a new guy and like ignoring the uguult i do like him ughh broni want to kms#i love love i just dont love lvoe for myself cause ugh bro i hare one guy idc ab his crushes but he made me hear ab them lke idc idek him#sorry u had a bad experience w bi girls like idk what u want me to say ??? surprise me too ??? tff ugh i hate love girls#i need a gf but the thoigjt of liking a girl genuinely deeply scares me to my core cause i like girls but ppl dont like that i do ykwim#all mu friends are fucking gay bro idek why im so worried ab liking girls like who is there to disappoint but myself and my entire family#noo pressure qt all being oldest and queerest like ok yeah its midnight happy new years. i need this blanket tobsuffocste me#sleep wrappedup alr like a borito burito i dek and its not enoughh i need a soul crushing embrafe to sleep#ok im done i got post vent clarity i need to sleep#post#erics tag#delete later#serenity needs this as a ref in the morning#i beed my mom to cry to but j cant tell her any of this id rather be eaten alive by bugsbro and if i just cry to her without a reason#shell fs go througj my phone and fimd out why anyway so wjats the pointtt my god i tqlk too much and vent too much#gota flair forbthe dramatics ivguess mb
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