#AND IT MAKES HIM. IT MAKES HIM INTO SOMETHING OTHER TIMELORDS REGARD AS DISEASED. GOD SORRY I CANT GET OVER THE WORDING THERE. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

quietwingsinthesky · 8 months ago

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it’s like. for a guy who is such an active, gleeful participant in fucking shit up. like, the number one thing he wants to do is be at the forefront of when things get messy. he wants his face plastered on it, he wants to be the one who gets to hurt everyone, he wants to make sure everyone, and especially the doctor, sees him doing it. to then have the drums also there, always there, so loud that they’re all he can think about when he’s dying, that he doesn’t know what he is without them. there’s a powerlessness at the core of it. this thing that was done to him as a child, in secret, that no one ever believed him about, that he doubted being real despite it constantly ringing in his ears. it just won’t go away. it can’t go away. he can conquer earth and the doctor and he can’t make it go away. there is no longer a version of him that doesn’t have this violation woven through every part of his life.

it really is just horrifying.

#it gets to me. it really does.#because he’s the master. this is his whole thing. he has a catchphrase and all. he’s the master. you obey him.#but this is. its at the core of him now. and he can’t control it and he can’t undo it and it’s just there. it’s there.#it is hurting him and he can’t escape it. and it’s horrifying.#AND IT MAKES HIM. IT MAKES HIM INTO SOMETHING OTHER TIMELORDS REGARD AS DISEASED. GOD SORRY I CANT GET OVER THE WORDING THERE.#HE’S. GOD. HE DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING!!!!! HE HAS DONE SO MUCH AND SO MANY TERRIBLE THINGS BUT THIS ISN’T HIS FAULT. ITS THE ONE THING #THAT JUST ISN’T ON HIM. IT WAS DONE *TO* HIM. HE WAS A KID. HE HAD NO CHOICE. AND THIS IS THE THING THAT MAKES HIM DISEASED.#okay. okay. so normal about it. god fuck im.#doctor who #the master #simm!master

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