#its not an ed or anything its literally me not being hungry when i get up | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

1-talk-alot · 2 months ago

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Alright imma be honest this might be one of the longest rants of mine ever and for bad reasons. Ive been putting off writing this because of the topic and also im not even sure how comfortable i am myself talking about and posting this entire thing but it’s literally on my mind 24/7. No one has to read this and also warning because im gonna be going into depth about eating disorders and body and a lotta that shit

Also im not proof reading this i literally never wanna see it again (and new phone means new autocorrect that doesnt know my common mistakes very well so its likely that theres a ton of spelling errors)

Why I say it’s going to be long for “bad” reasons, I mean the reason is that this fucking disorder has taken over my mind. Food is all I can think about, I constantly ask what’s for dinner so I can plan out what i can get away with not eating, ive lied about not liking certain foods so much that when someone offers me food it’s almost autopilot for me to go “im not hungry” or “sorry I don’t like ______.” I literally cant go on tumblr after I’ve eaten until I don’t feel full or else I’ll want to kms. What’s worse is that im 90% sure that the people I see daily are either aware or suspecting my ed, which makes eating in public feel like shit, but for some reason it also makes turning down food feel like shit? Its because I know saying “oh im not hungry” while others are eating sometimes makes the others feel like they shouldn’t be eating either, and I really really don’t want to be the reason anyone is forcing themselves to be miserable. I feel like an attention seeker whenever it’s clear that im the only one not eating and i hate it.

And also, when I say it’s “taken over my mind”, I don’t just mean that it’s all I can think about and manifest, I also mean its fucked with my ability to make proper decisions and take DEFINITELY made me a meaner person in my hate and oh my god I hate it so so so so so much. One thing I noticed like last year is how my whole life I just saw everyone as thinner than me, even if that wasn’t true?? I never saw other people for how they really looked, I genuinely just saw that I was fat and then saw everyone else as skinny even with people who werent (OBVIOUSLY not in a bad way please dont think im implying they were pretty before and werent after I promise I saw them as beautiful before AND after)

And it was only like last year that I realized I wasnt actually bigger than every single person I’ve ever met, and im being 100% genuine when I say I was surprised to find that out. Im not sure why, but I’ve unknowingly had body dysmorphia since I was a little kid. I think it’s gotten worse though, because I cant wear non-baggy clothing and look in a mirror without noticing anywhere on my body that has fat (specifically the arms. I hate my arms. The arms are the worst i cant wear tight sleeves or no sleeves anymore its just ahhewjsjajsjsk /vvvvvvvneg) and I’ve stopped wearing skirts / shorts recently because im too self conscience to wear them without tights and I dont like my thighs (not that I ever did, its just never been such an awful problem until now)

I dont know where this came from because there’s literally no proof and it’s all my imagination but it feels like no one would love me unconditionally unless i was thin. I sometimes wonder if people ever think im incredibly self absorbed with the way i look at my reflection in literally anything that has one when i walk by it, really i use this as a frequent and solid reminder not to eat if i can avoid it.

In general, the thought that I look big in literally anything I wear has gotten so much worse these past two weeks and idk what triggered it, especially my face shape. When I say I wish wearing masks (2020 reference) was normalized but not necessary I just mean I wish I had a good reason to cover my bottom half of my face. When I go on dog walks I wear scarves around my neck and I pull them up so it has the same effect but winter doesnt last forever and so I know I cant do that forever.

I think the whole calorie thing has 100% taken a toll on my energy, its hard to say if its also why im so cold all the time or if its just cold outside now that its winter, its definitely taken a toll on my memory which is why im even more scared of exams, and since im way more tired than i would be its also made me a lot more irritable which is why i wouldnt trust most of the rage driven posts i post on my other blogs.

Half related but learning about calories pretty much ruined my life. Mostly because theres so many in foods I used to eat all the time without knowing how quickly it adds up. Also because not knowing the amount of calories in something im eating is such a condescending feeling. When I say I wish I could recover, I dont mean I wish I could stuff my face without feeling guilty, I mean I wish I could eat normally in a normal way and feel normal about it. And not have to chew extra slow or drink water before meals so im too “full” to finish. Or not have to log everything I ate onto a calorie counter app of any time. Or not have to make my last mouthful really big, then get up to take my plate to the kitchen before I swallow it and spit it all out in the bin when I get there. Or not have to do that disgusting “chew and spit” method because im craving the taste of foods I miss. And not end up paranoid for no reason because what if the food I just ate had 1000 calories instead of 100 like google/my cal counter app said it did. And not avoid going out around lunchtime so I don’t have to eat out, or on the contrary, purposely go out around lunch time so I can say I already ate at home and no one can prove or disprove that. And not have Pinterest boards dedicated specifically to dresses Id wear if I actually lost that weight. But im not going to do that, probably not for a while now, because I feel Iike such a big waste of space above 50kg. I feel like no one will love me if im not pretty. I feel unwanted in public spaces if I don’t look good, even though 90% of the time im alone (dog walk) and 100% of the time no one really cares that much.

Idk this wasnt actually as long as I predicted earlier but I feel like I skimmed most of what I had to say because I felt like weird anyways. The point is I hate everything about my body and im not getting better until that statement no longer holds true

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insomniac-astronomer · 3 years ago

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Nick Nelson x Reader: Bad Days

Welp I've read heartstopper twice now and got actually triggered by Charlie's ed. So yeah. That really sucks. It was helping my depression and loneliness till I wasn't eating. So. Here we are.

Fuck my brain, I hate it.

Literally wrote this after taking sleeping pills so idk how this turned out, gotta read it again later.

Description: Reader is having a really bad day with their ed, Nick helps.

Gender: neutral! no pronouns used

WARNINGS: talking about ed (not eating) in detail

NOT INTENDED TO ROMANTICIZE EDs. As heartstopper put it, love can't cure a mental illness. Additionally, YOU DO NOT WANT AN ED OR A MENTAL ILLNESS. They suck. Whatever picture you have painted of it, you don't see everything else.

I promise it's not worth triggering yourself to read this ❤️

*not my gif* UGH LOOK AT THAT BOI, MURDER ME

You feel mopey. Like, for some reason that's the only way to describe it. You've had an awful day. In health class, you had to list--in great detail--your body type versus your eating and exercising habits.

The hunger from lunch pangs nicely in your stomach. That feeling is familiar. The lightheadedness is almost comforting now.

You fight between the thoughts of "don't pass out," "this feel nice," "I'm being ridiculous," and "you don't deserve food."

You glance over at your best friend (and crush), Nick. He is focused on something on his phone. You glance back out of the window, torn between being happy he doesn't notice your unusual behavior and selfishly wanting him to see.

When the bus pulls up to the stop by Nick's house, you both step out. He gives you one of those smiles you adore as you both begin to head to his house.

Once in his bedroom, you flop dramatically onto the floor. You feel the air conditioning biting at your exposed arms.

"Its freezing in here!" You whine.

Nick laughs. "Here," something lands on the ground next to you. One of his hoodies.

You muster the energy to sit up and put it on, hugging the warmth and totally not his smell close to you.

He sits on the ground next to you.

"Want a snack?" He nudges your shoulder.

You shake your head. "I'm alright."

"Really?" He leans forward so he can see your face. "You didn't eat lunch."

You shrug. "Not hungry."

Nick sighs and a strained silence settles between you two.

"You know," he finally breaks the tension, "there's no one else here. No one will see if you eat anything."

"I'll see," you whisper. It's quiet enough you didn't think he would hear it, but he did.

"You deserve to eat something. Despite what your brain says."

For the first time since getting to his house, you look at him. "Since when do you know so much about I'm thinking?"

"Since I thought you might have an eating disorder." He looks away.

"Aw," it escapes. It sounds a little condescending in a way you didn't want. "I'm glad you care."

He takes you hands and you look at him, the light humor you had been holding on to disappearing.

"I don't know if anyone's ever told you, but I think you're very pretty and you can eat food if you need to. And you do need to. And you can always talk to me if you need."

For a moment, you focus on the floor, not sure how to respond. "Thanks," you whisper, throat blocked by tears.

"I'm gonna get you some food, okay?"

You feel a twinge of stress in your chest. "I just . . . can't today. I'm sorry."

"That's okay. I'm gonna get it anyway in case you want it."

You give him a little smile. Once he is gone, you feel a couple tears fall on your cheeks. You quickly wipe them away. You're greatful that he cares, no one's every really cared about you before. Like that. Like they really want to make you believe what they're saying.

Nick returns with a plate with some fruit on it. He sets the plate between the two of you. He pulls out his laptop and starts scouring for a movie to watch, mindlessly eating some grapes while he does so.

Your fingers twitch as you desperately want to take some fruit, too. You watch the way he doesn't think twice about anything he consumes and it almost comforts you for some reason. You take a strawberry and twist it in your hand for a moment, then you bite into it.

The sweetness fills your mouth, stronger than you've ever tasted due to your complete fasting in the last 12+ hours.

Nick must have noticed because he gives you a giant smile.

You smile back and reach for more food. Maybe it won't be so bad to eat tonight. Thanks to this dorky boy.

Thx for reading, don't steal. Go eat something my loves ❤️, Nick wants you to.

Buy me a coffee?

#nick nelson x reader #nick nelson #heartstopper #nick heartstopper #fanfictions #fanfic

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ernest-shackleton · 3 years ago

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How to Tame Your Pirate

1.3k words (hurt/comfort, fluff), prompt: Stede braiding Ed's hair

Read on AO3

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Stede is sitting at the dinner table. Being back on the Revenge is new, still, Ed, at the other side of the table is poking around in his dinner with disdain. Stede doesn't know what to say, how to approach him, but he knows he has to.

He feels powerless; sitting here, at the head of a table, far removed from someone he cares about, is familiar. Very familiar, in a very literal sense. Stede thinks back to his wife... his former wife, and their children.

As distraught as Stede might be about leaving them after finally getting to know them, he does not regret it. He knows that Mary will look out for their children - little Mary and little Stede - and that she will have Doug at her side. The two of them are good together and Stede is happy for them.

The children will be fine.

The dinner plate in front of Stede is cooling down, potatoes becoming stale and the greens seem to fade away, shrinking down into a mass of leaves and bits, and even though Stede was hungry before, his appetite has since taken its leave.

Ed seems to be having the same problem.

A burst of laughter reaches the Captain's quarters through the doors and the soundscape of the clicks and clangs of Ed's fork against his plate. The room has been stripped of most of the interior and the sounds echo uncomfortably. Stede fidgets in his chair.

He recalls his daughter last making him this uncomfortable. Little Mary was less than thrilled that Stede was back, although by the end, she unexpectedly warmed up to him. After their crafting project of tearing up Stede's outfit, after she presented him with the orange halves, she pressed two ribbons into his hand.

"Will you braid my hair?"

"Of course!" Stede said, and promptly realised that he could not, in fact, braid hair.

The last hour he had with his daughter, feisty and fierce as she was, they spent braiding her hair. She showed him how to on one side of her head, and Stede tried to replicate it on the other. Admittedly, his braid ended up being crooked and irregular, but Mary hugged him and smiled up at him, and now Stede knows how to braid hair.

He sets his fork aside and clears his throat.

"Ed?"

"Hm?" He doesn't meet Stede's eyes.

Stede gets up and takes a deep breath, then motions for the window seat. It's the only piece of comfortable furniture Ed didn't remove, perhaps due to its importance to the ship's structural integrity.

He sits down, rolls up his sleeves. From across the room, Ed is eyeing him suspiciously. His eyes glint with a reflection of the candle Stede has put in the centre of the table. Lined black, his eyes are more intense and the glint seems stronger than should be possible. Stede runs his fingers through his hair - anything to keep his composure.

"Do you want to talk?" he asks softly, afraid that this is the wrong question. It is the only one he can think of, the most generous with answers. The easiest to evade.

Ed shakes his head and his hair falls over his shoulder.

"Okay," Stede says. "Okay, we don't have to talk."

He thinks for a moment.

"Do you want me to leave?" Stede knows that he is here because Ed has decided he is allowed to be. But there is still a difference between Ed allowing him to be there - tolerating his presence - and wanting him here.

Stede's chest is painfully tight as he anticipates the answer, but thankfully the silence doesn't stretch too long.

"No."

It's steady, and Stede knows he means it. He leans back against the wooden sideboard of the little alcove. His mind and body are still restless, looking for a way to appease Ed, even though Stede knows he cannot set the pace for things.

For now, it is enough that Ed has let him back on board, it's enough that Stede is allowed to be here with him.

There is not even a real thought in his mind yet when the words leave Stede's mouth.

"Can I braid your hair?"

Ed tenses up in his chair - shoulders tight, back rigid, he sits unmoving for a moment. Then he breathes out audibly.

"I never... No one has ever -" he starts. Breaks off. Stede's heart melts a bit at how lost Ed sounds.

"Come here?" he requests softly.

Ed is next to him before he really knows it. The silence between them is heavy with something, but not uncomfortable, but when their eyes meet, Stede is reminded of their kiss on the beach. Ed's brown eyes are so deep and full of yearning - dark and pulling Stede in.

He looks away before he gets another stupid idea. Then he reaches out, carefully, as if Ed was a wild animal, startled at the slightest movement.

"May I?"

He can see Ed's throat work as he swallows heavily. His gaze is cast on the floor, his fingers curled together tightly in his lap; eventually, he nods.

Ed's hair is soft, albeit tousled. Stede runs his fingers through it gently, and notices how Ed relaxes immediately. He separates a strand from the rest of his hair and parts it. Starting at Ed's scalp, he begins to entangle them, taking care to braid towards him, away from Ed's face. It takes a long time, and his fingers hurt after mere seconds - Stede doesn't know how his daughter braided down her hair so fast and elegantly - but once he is halfway done with the strand, the pattern becomes more regular, and once he finishes the braid, he admits to himself that he is definitely improving.

Ed's eyes are closed when Stede looks up at his face. His shoulders are less tense and he has shuffled closer. Stede gets caught up staring for a moment - Ed is stunning, really. He never understood that turn f phrase before. The women described as such were pretty, sure, but now, looking at Ed, Stede is struggling to tear his eyes away from the curve of his lips and the sharpness of his jaw, accentuated by his beard growing out. The long lashes, the elegance of his brow and the slope of his nose. Stede's heart is speeding up, his fingers tremble, and he does not know what to do except card them through Ed's hair.

Stede braids down another strand. He is much quicker this time, and Ed has leaned in even more. He is almost sitting between Stede's legs, his back mere inches from leaning against his chest. Stede can't see his face anymore, but this is even better somehow.

He touches Ed's shoulder lightly, brushing his hair out over it, and that seems to be all it takes for him to give in, to lean back and relax, and now Stede is sitting there, lap full of pirate, and lungs devoid of air, because what if he moves and the moment breaks?

When he eventually does breathe in, nothing happens. Ed is still there.

Stede runs his fingers through Ed's hair - he would like to continue braiding it, but their position won't allow it, and there is no way Stede is going to give this up.

Hesitantly, is fingers trail down Ed's arm, coming to rest over the tattoo of a dagger on his forearm, all sharp lines and danger - yet soft to the touch. Just like Ed, Stede thinks to himself.

He presses a small kiss to the crown of Ed's head and closes his eyes. A smile settles on his lips when Ed brings up his other hand to cover Stede's on his arm.

Later, Stede's back will hurt and his left leg will be asleep, but Ed's fingers will be entwined with his and Ed's eyes won't be so full of sadness, so Stede couldn't care less.

#ofmd #our flag means death #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #ofmd fanfic #my writing #quip #stede bonnet #blackbeard

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phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust · 3 years ago

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i think this is one of the quotes anon was talking about: https://thegilly.tumblr.com/post/29568742275/the-beatles-and-me-by-neil-aspinall-scanned

(Link) (CW eating disorders)

That magazine article actually breaks my heart - the way that he’s legitimately torturing himself is just so upsetting. And in reading about John dieting the way he did, I can especially empathise with him because ive had a lot of the same experiences.

Some points I took note of from the article are:

1. John ate one meal a day, which was steak with a large salad - that means he was probably eating less then a 1000 calories a day, and id guess he was maybe only getting about 800 (?) calories a day at most with that diet. 800 calories or less is literally starvation.

2. “John wont even look at bread” - this is the definition of an ‘unsafe food’. People with restrictive ED’s do eat, but they tend to have “safe” and “unsafe” foods. I suspect John considers bread unsafe because he knows its a binge food, and a food that he thinks will cause him weight gain - again, its just so sad that he would put himself through this misery. I also think that he probably felt meats were probably relatively safe for him to eat.

3. He had two different suits - one for when he was at his normal, healthy weight and another for when he had lost weight. He would bring them both on tour with him because his weight would fluctuate so much.

4. His regular weight was about 159lbs; apparently he was around 139lbs when he died (at least, thats what a quick google search tells me, so I don’t know how true that is. But certainly he was far thinner by the time he died).

5. “Right before a tour, he’ll do everything he can to lose weight” - this appears to speak especially to the theory that Johns ED might have been sparked largely by the pressures of fame and publicity.

6. “John hardly touches his salad, and he wont even look at the other boys eat.” - He��s eating the most miserable meal on the planet guys :’(

7. “John begins to look at me apprehensively. He has hunger pains in his eyes! Finally, when he is about to “break down” I…pull out the meat sandwiches.” - He was in actual, physical pain because he was so hungry.

8. “John takes the meat out of the sandwiches and eats every tiny sliver he can find. Then he stuffs the leftover slices of bread into a bag, which I take from him (so that he wont break down again and eat those).” - I would constitute this behaviour as a “binge”, because to me a binge is not based necessarily on the quantity of food you eat, or the amount of calories you take in, but more so about how in control and contented you are during and after eating. John wasn’t in control here, and its because its his bodies natural reaction when its in starvation mode.

9. “[Johns] main complaint is ‘How come Paul never gains an ounce — and he eats twice as much as I do?’”

10. “John is sure some kind of curse is set on his head — or is stomach as it were!”

Im not going to judge everyone for seemingly not making any real efforts to help John recover from his ED, because I don’t think ED’s became something that the general public were aware of until about the early 80s with Karen Carpenters death - and its taken years for people to even really begin recognising that a lot of men also suffer from ED’s! And so im not going to criticise them for not recognising that John legitimately was displaying symptoms of an ED, but I do think its just really sad that they were all watching John starve and torture himself, and couldn’t really do anything about it. And because they weren’t recognising him as mentally ill here, they probably all just accepted his diet as a bit of a laugh, whilst still knowing there was something more sinister underpinning it.*

(*I wonder however what Paul might have thought about all this, because we know that Paul was prone to being a sort of caretaker for John, and in a lot of ways “mothered” him. I feel like Paul would’ve recognised that only eating one meal a day was a problem, and maybe sort of laughed it off a bit because he couldn’t have known it was a legitimate mental illness - but also, I hope he would try to encourage John to eat. Id like to hear him talk about this in an interview someday, though I doubt anyone would ask him about this stuff)

This is just genuinely one of the most depressing things ive ever read about John, and if its a topic you feel comfortable reading id encourage anyone to give it a read (although if you think it could be damaging for your mental health, id say avoid it!).

And overall, im just really surprised that no biographer appears to have ever really spoken about this topic in a nuanced manner.

#cw ed #cw anorexia #cw eating disorder #john lennon ed #john lennon #johns psyche #this just makes me so so sad #he reminds me so much of ME #and thats just sad #like reading about seeing hunger in his eyes #<<< i know that pain!! i know that hunger!#@sergeantpeppa

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omgrachwrites · 4 years ago

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Our Souls Crave This Magic- Chapter One

Pairing: Prince Caspian x Reader

Summary: All you want is a quiet year of university as you and your best friend, Edmund move to New York City. Though, that all changes when you meet the spoiled trust fund brat, Caspian. College au.

Warnings: fluff, slow burn romance, swearing

Words: 2619

Disclaimer: Everyone in this fic is 18+ and this gif doesn’t belong to me!

A/N: Here we are, first part of my college au! It was a little weird to be writing a Narnia college au, I’d never thought of writing one before! Hope you guys enjoy this and please let me know what you think and let me know if you would like to be tagged! I love you all! xxx

next part masterlist

Chapter One - Once Upon a Time in New York City

The air in New York was hot and muggy, even with the roof of your rental car being down there wasn’t much of a breeze and you were beginning to feel irritable and the smog in the air was heavy. The traffic over here was slow, somehow even slower than it was in London but you knew that it was a small price to pay for your freedom.

When your best friend, Edmund received a chance to study overseas in New York for his final year of college he took the chance straight away and he had pretty much begged you to go with him. You had never known Edmund to beg for anything so you knew that this was serious. You didn’t want to lose your best friend so you agreed to go with him, as did his little sister, Lucy but you didn’t mind, it was her first year at college.

From the back seat you could hear Lucy gasping in awe as she glanced up at the impossibly tall skyscrapers that were beginning to make you feel a little sick, “I love this city already, thanks for letting me come with you guys!”

Ed grimaced as he leaned forwards to turn your rock music down which earned him a scathing glare, “it’s not like we had much of a choice,” he muttered.

You rolled your eyes at Ed before smiling at Lucy in the mirror, “ignore him, Lu. I’m glad that you’re here.”

“Thanks Y/N,” she grinned at you before pulling a tongue at her brother, “I can’t wait to see the loft,” she sighed happily.

Neither of you wanted to stay in some shitty dorm room on campus so ever since you were accepted into NYU, you had begun saving money from your bar job and your student loan. Between the three of you the most you could afford was a loft apartment in Brooklyn. You spotted the moving van a couple of doors down from the loft and got ready to turn into a parking space on the busy street.

As you were reversing into the space, a yellow taxi blared its horn at you as it zoomed past you, “yeah, very nice, arsehole!” you yelled out of the window, knowing the driver couldn’t hear you but it made you feel better all the same.

Edmund rolled his eyes as he fixed you with an unamused look as he ran his fingers through his hair, “I’m beginning to regret asking you to come with me.”

You laughed, winking at him as you got out of the car, “you know that you love me.”

Ed laughed before he bit his lip, looking at you nervously, “you should call your mum, and tell her that you made it here in one piece. I know that you’ve been putting it off Y/N,” he sighed and pulled you into a one armed hug, “you can catch up with us in a bit.”

You sighed as you watched Ed and Lucy walk towards the moving van, he was right – most of the time he was right – you had been putting it off, and for good reason. You dialled your mum’s number as you lit up a cigarette and took a long drag of it. Just as you suspected, you were met with your mum’s voicemail. She was probably out, spending time with her new family, she was almost too happy when you told her that you were moving to New York.

“Hey mum, I’m just calling to let you know that I made it to New York, safe and sound. I didn’t want to call but Ed thought that I should, anyway call me back if you get this. Or don’t, it really doesn’t matter to me either way.”

The lie tasted bitter in your mouth but you didn’t want to dwell on it any longer so you quickly hung up the phone. You rubbed your temples as you took another drag off your cigarette, blowing out a large billow of smoke.

“Do you mind?” you heard a cough with the sound of a smooth honeyed accent. Your gaze started at his feet and you quirked an eyebrow when you saw that he was wearing expensive leather shoes. You travelled up his body with your eyes and they finally came to land on his face.

He had deep brown eyes that were almost black and he was very handsome with thick dark hair and clean stubble along his jaw, he looked just like the brooding hero in all those romance novels. You didn’t want to judge but he looked exactly like a trust fund baby, someone who got whatever they wanted on a silver platter. He coughed again as you blew out more smoke and he ran a hand through his hair, narrowing those gorgeous eyes at you.

“You can clearly see that I’m smoking here, it’s your fault for getting in my way, pretty boy,” you didn’t miss the scowl he shot you as you crushed the stub of your cigarette beneath your shoe as you turned away. You couldn’t let a stranger piss you off, no matter how good looking he was.

As you walked into the loft you were immediately taken aback by how spacious and beautiful it was, it seemed like good value for your money which was extremely rare in a big city. You decided that you were going to take the smallest room – you wanted Ed and Lucy to have the most luxurious rooms – but it seemed that you definitely got the room with the best view. New York was such a beautiful city and you were so glad that you got to live here.

As you were coming out of the room that you had claimed as your own, you noticed that the handsome stranger was in your apartment. Suspicion ran through your body as you narrowed your eyes at him, “what the fuck are you doing here?”

He opened his mouth to reply but before he could, Edmund came striding into the apartment, carrying a cardboard box, “Y/N, this is Caspian; he’s offered to help us move in.”

“How nice,” you smiled tightly, Caspian was a trust fund name, you were sure of that.

Caspian raised an eyebrow and he smirked at you, and you ignored the way that his deep brown eyes sparkled. You just wanted a quiet final year of college; you wouldn’t let a handsome young man ruin it. You had worked too hard to be here.

When Caspian walked out of the loft with Ed, Lucy smirked at you, “Caspian’s cute isn’t he?”

You laughed as you unpacked the kitchen boxes, “suppose so, for a trust fund baby.”

“What makes you think that’s he’s got a trust fund?” Lucy asked as she leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Come on Lu, his shoes cost more than our rent, it’s obvious that he’s rolling in money, and with a name like Caspian,” you let out a low whistle, “the evidence speaks for itself.”

Finally, you were all moved in – and Caspian had thankfully left, turning down Edmund’s offer to stay for a drink – it was early evening and your breath was stolen away by how pretty the sky looked. It was all pink and orange hues, and you were almost certain that you’d enjoy living here. New York seemed like such a romantic city – despite the smog – every story that was worth reading began in New York City.

Edmund grinned at you and flung an arm around your shoulders, “are you hungry? We were thinking about ordering pizza.”

You shook your head, although the notion of pizza sounded amazing, “no can do I’m afraid, I gonna go out and actually look for a job. How else are we going to be able to pay the rent?” you smiled.

Lucy raised her eyebrow at you, “Y/N, we’ve literally been here for a few hours and already you’re thinking about getting a job?”

You nodded at her as you kissed Edmund’s cheek, “you guys know how much I worry,” you laughed as you shrugged on your leather jacket, “I’ll see you guys later, and make sure to save some pizza for me.”

“I can’t make any promises,” Ed called after you, making you laugh.

You forgot just how hard it was to get a bartending job as you walked down the streets of New York, it had grown cool now and you wrapped your jacket tighter around your body. Finally, you came up outside a bar called; Aslan’s which had a golden lion on a field of red on the sign. Even from the outside it looked like a dive bar but you supposed that beggars couldn’t be choosers.

The bar stank of stale beer and cigarette smoke, and the floor was incredibly sticky. There was a pool table in the middle of the room and a juke box in one corner, playing loud music. The bar was a complete dive to be sure but you could also tell that it held a lot of character. You smiled at the sandy haired bartender; “I was wondering whether I could speak to the manager?” the bartender nodded and smiled at you as he walked into the back.

A couple of moments later, the bartender returned with an older man, the older man grinned at you as he offered you his hand, his eyes twinkling kindly, “I’m Aslan, the owner,” his voice had an Irish twang to it and you offered him a small smile. You were kind of surprised that he was the owner, he looked like a complete dad, and you had expected someone with tattoos and piercings, not a man in a cable jumper with his hand wrapped around a Spiderman mug.

“I’m Y/N; I was wondering whether I could give you my resume?”

“Certainly,” he smiled and you handed it over and his eyes scanned it before he glanced at you with a raised eyebrow, “are you a university student?” he smiled when you nodded, “have you done bar work before?”

“Yes sir,” you nodded, “I worked in a busy bar in the centre of London for a couple of years,” his eyes widened slightly and you could tell that he was impressed.

“Come in for a trial shift on Saturday so I can see what you’re made of.”

You breathed out a sigh of relief, this was better than you could have hoped for, “I’d be glad to, thank you so much, Aslan.”

----------------------------------

Caspian knew that pre law would be difficult but he just had no idea, after only a couple of days he was exhausted. It seemed strange but he was happy, no matter how exhausted he was. He had a deal with his parents where they agreed that he could go to a school of his choice where nobody knew him. He didn’t want people to treat him any differently.

Edmund – one of his first friends from class – grinned as he clapped Caspian on the shoulder as they made their way across campus, “that Professors kind of a hard arse, huh?” he chuckled, mirth lighting up his freckled face.

Caspian smiled in response as he ran a hand through his hair, “I think that’s the lawyer that we should all strive to be.”

Ed chuckled as he looked across the quad and pointed, “oh, hey there’s Y/N. You remember her?”

Caspian glanced up and saw the pretty girl in a Sex Pistols shirt and ripped jeans with red converse. She carried an easel over her shoulder, she didn’t strike Caspian as the artistic type, “how could I forget?”

Edmund smiled as he pulled his friend into a hug, “hey, Y/N, you remember, Caspian?”

Y/N smirked as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and she looked Caspian up and down in a way that made him feel small. He flushed and looked away from her burning gaze, “of course I remember, Cas.”

“Caspian,” he spoke through gritted teeth as he felt a wave of annoyance wash over him as she smirked.

If Ed sensed the tension he didn’t say anything, instead he flung an arm over her shoulders, “are you coming to the party tonight?”

Y/N grimaced as she shook her head as she placed a cigarette between her red painted lips, “Aslan needs me to work a shift tonight, clearly I got through the trial period successfully,” she laughed.

Caspian raised his eyebrow at her in surprise, “you work at Aslan’s?” he chuckled, “isn’t it a shit hole?” he had never gone in and he had no intention of doing so.

Y/N glared at him, if looks could kill, he’d already be six feet under, “it’s got character, I wouldn’t expect someone,” she trailed off as she looked him up and down, a scowl on her face, “like you to understand.”

Her insinuation made his blood boil, he was starting to like her less and less by the second, “what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Y/N opened her mouth to answer, most definitely with a scathing retort on her lips but Ed cut her to the chase, “I’m gonna go get a pretzel, does anyone want one?” he walked off before either of them could reply.

The tension was unbearable in the hot and heavy air, Caspian scowled at Y/N while she looked up at him as she took another drag of her cigarette, she looked completely unbothered. In fact, Caspian thought he saw amusement glitter in her eyes. Caspian coughed as the billow of smoke she blew out went right in his face. Normally he wouldn’t have cared but there was just something about Y/N that made him want to piss her off.

“Do you really have to do that here?” he grimaced.

Y/N smirked around the end of her cigarette but Caspian noticed that she turned to the side slightly so the smoke went in the opposite direction and he opened his mouth to thank her, stopping short when she replied, “last time I checked, this was a free country, Cas.”

Caspian clenched his jaw so tightly that he was afraid that he’d break his teeth but he didn’t bother correcting Y/N on his name. He wanted to ask her why she had it out for him, it had seemed that way ever since they met. Instead, what came out of her mouth was a stupid observation.

“I didn’t peg you for the artistic type,” he swallowed as she paused and looked up at him, the glimmer of a scowl on her face, “I had you down for a Psychology major or something, maybe that would explain why you’re manipulative,” his words were harsh but she didn’t even flinch as she crushed the stub of her cigarette beneath her shoe.

She looked away from him, wrapping her arms around herself, even though the day was warm. A flicker of emotion that he hadn’t seen before flickered across her face, “I used to paint with my dad, from a young age,” she looked back at him, that smirk was back on her face, “pre law, huh? That’s exactly the sort of major I’d expect from a trust fund baby.”

He let out a laugh and noticed that Ed was finally on his way back, pretzel in hand, “what makes you think that I’m a trust fund baby?” he asked, biting his lip.

Y/N raised an eyebrow, “oh sweetheart, with expensive clothes like that,” she gestured down at his outfit, making him scowl, “and such a pretty face, how could you not be?” she turned around to take a bit out of Edmund’s pretzel, laughing when Ed shouted out in dismay.

----------------------------------

@smiithys @elayneblack @amelie-black @generalblizzarddreamer @blackbirddaredevil23 @whiskeywinter89

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junicai · 4 years ago

Text

Relationship with SuperM

➣ BAEKHYUN ☾ baekaria

before being thrown into a supergroup together, aria and baekhyun hadn’t really spoken

they’d seen each other around the building, and aria was an avid supporter of exo so of course she knew who he was but she wasn’t expecting him to know who she was

so when aria walked into the practice room and was greeted by baekhyun waving her over and calling her name

sue her if she was a little stunned

their relationship was a little stilted at the beginning

between the age gap, and baekhyun not having a girl member in a group before, it took a few weeks for the two of them to figure out their dynamic and where they fit around each other

eventually though

they settled into a pretty comfortable situation

baekhyun tries to put her at ease as much as possible

there is 8 years in the difference, but you’d swear that its less than half

although he’s playful and generous with the teasing like he is to other members

he’s careful to avoid certain topics when it comes to aria, just out of respect for her and not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable

this came to fruition after kai unknowingly made a small comment on how aria “must have been hungry”, considering how fast she was eating

baekhyun knew he didn’t mean anything by it, but he watched aria slowly put down her chopsticks and reach for the bottle of water beside her instead

he didn’t see her eat for the rest of the evening

did kai get in trouble? no but he did get hit lightly over the head

when aria does something cool - like a spin or a trick - baekhyun is the first to say “that’s my child. i raised her, look how well i taught her”

ten: “heY-”

tldr: although they’re not the closest, aria’s slowly grown more comfortable around him, and he’s looking out for her all the time

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

200829 Knowing Brothers: when baekhyun brought up the members of superm all showering together to get closer quickly, heechul quickly pounced on aria - the girl slowly moving to put her head in her hands.

“and where was aria during all of this? don’t tell me you brought her to?”

baekhyun: “well of course we did-”

aria: “NO I STAYED OUTSIDE HE’S A LIAR DON’T LISTEN TO HIM!”

*cue baekhyun laughing his ass off*

➣ TAEMIN ☾ arimin

aria thought she was going to die

there was absolutely no plausible reason that she should be in a group with The Taemin

he was highkey the reason why she had even accepted her position in sm at the very beginning of her training

this man convinced a fifteen year old to give up the sport she’d been doing her entire life

his impact (*¯ ³¯*)♡

please stand by while aria tosses herself off a bridge

she was So Formal at the beginning

he honestly was the member she took the longest time to warm up to - because she had idolized him for so long

will still refer to him as taemin-ssi occasionally, but now its less a formality and more of a tease

this boy was shook when he found out how young aria was - mark and lucas he can deal with because at least they’re 1999, but aria....

“2000??? 2000?”

he said :O

despite their rocky start, they’re quite comfortable around each other, especially after spending a few nights rooming together over the tour

does aria still look for his validation in a lot of her work? yes, but she’s more open about asking for it now then she would have been

taemin definitely doesn’t have a favourite kid and it’s definitely not aria no why would you think that

aria really out here collecting parents like pokémon

gotta catch em all~

he looks out for her a lot during their schedules, mainly because he knows what its like to be the youngest in a group and how it can feel a little like you don’t really have a place there

so he always makes sure to include her where possible

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

sitting in a circle in a waiting room while mark toy-ed around with the guitar in his lap, aria sat curled in the corner, humming lightly to herself as taemin sang softly along with mark playing “view”.

quietly, she began to sing soft backing harmonies along with taemin, her eyes still attached to her phone in her hands.

when she felt the device being tugged out of her hands and her being pulled upright by another hand on her arm, she looked up to see taemin smiling brightly, still singing

cue the impromptu concert of a lifetime: with god tier vocals

➣ KAI ☾ kairia

so, they met

and kai just kinda went: mine.

and that was that really

its like a puppy refusing to give up its favourite chew toy

“nooo but its my turn to room with aria :(”

never really did the whole awkward, getting to know each other phase?

not that aria had any real say in it

but jongin point blank refused to engage in small talk with her

so they ended up spending their nights on the superm tour talking about stuff ranging from why the sky is blue to why aria stopped ice skating

she started crying and he did not handle it well, bless him

although he’s super chill and fun to be around

he’s also the only non-nct member that seriously scolds her

when he found her in a practice room lying on the ground (she was Resting, thank you very much) at three in the morning, he dragged her out without a word and brought her back to her dorms in silence

aria knew he was mad at her, but she thought it was because he had to borderline carry her four blocks down to the nct dorms

“no you idiot, im angry because you thought that instead of coming to one of us for help with the bits you’re struggling with, you figured hey. let’s pass out instead.”

he’s so affectionate with her

you know how lucas and kai have Intense Brothers Energy

well aria has that, little sister vibe that makes kai want to wrap her in a blanket and carry her everywhere

she’d hate that, if he tried that she’d scream (he did try that, this is coming from past experience)

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

kai chucking aria like a cannon ball into the pool during the filming of mtopia when she refused his hugs.

“oppa, oppa no im sorry ill give you all the hugs you want, oppa, JONGIN-OPPA NO NO NO NO -”

*sploosh*

➣ TAEYONG ☾ ariyong

taeyong took one look at aria the first time she showed up for group practice and immediately adopted her (not literally but he would if he could)

eomma meets highly protective brother meets life coach type beat?

so so soft for her its sickening

says he doesn’t have favourites and will then spend an hour cooking for aria because she’s been in the studio the whole day and he knows she hasn’t eaten yet

when aria was given a duet to do for the sm stages, she had to pick another member to do it with and her first choice was taeyong

she always has said that taeyong is one of the pillars keeping her upright and sane - without him she wasn’t sure if she would have been able to complete her training

because of all the schedules they share together, if aria isn’t rooming with mark then she’s definitely rooming with taeyong

whenever she does his makeup (more often than you’d think) she point blank refuses to cover his scar, even when he asks her to do so

“please? i don’t like it.” “*gasp* how dare you.”

sleepy aria! snuggling into taeyong’s shoulder when a schedule ran late!

he gets uncomfy when the stylists put her in too revealing clothes, and has spoken to them on numerous occasions about dressing her in age-appropriate attire, no matter how “sexy” the concept might be

he keeps little bags of sugar-dusted strawberry sweets in his bag incase she forgets to eat and feels faint after the last time (they used to be blueberry flavoured but he heard donghyuck throwing out any and all “blueberry-contaminated” food one evening)

taeyong doesn’t tolerate hate towards aria, especially in person, so he always makes sure to sit down the line from her so that he can see when people skip her intentionally

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

taeyong had just been awarded the single bedroom on the last night of the mtopia series, and was staring off into the corner looking rather uncomfortable. aria, who was meant to be rooming with baekhyun, looked over and saw his mouth curled downwards slightly.

“baekhyun-oppa, is it ok if i room with taeyongie-oppa tonight? i ran out of my tablets, and he has some in his bag..”

baekhyun looked down at her with a small smile and agreed, while the edited captions on the video appeared with the words, “a cute maknae asking to room with a younger member..”

➣ TEN ☾ tenaria

Whipped™

so so gone for her its upsetting actually

yangyang and aria share the position of his baby

except aria willingly accepts the title while yangyang would rather fling himself from a rooftop

ten’s instagram is half his cats, half miyazu aria

he posts her dancing practice on his story a lot, with a variety of captions ranging from “thats my baby ♡( ◡‿◡ )” to “yah that’s not right…(눈_눈)”

such an enabler for her bad ideas

aria wants to go shopping at 4am? ten agrees, now they’re sitting by han river eating ice cream

pls he’s gonna get her in so much trouble one day

when they walk together, ten likes to take her hand and put it in his pocket

its under the pretense of not wanting her to get lost

he just wants to hold her hand

yes he has lost her in a shopping mall, and NO it wasn’t his fault

ten always complains that they never have schedules together and he misses his baby

“we have superm-” “I NEVER SEE YOUUUU (ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ”

if they’re in the same room ten is either watching her out of the corner of his eye, or is actually wrapped around her like a boa constrictor

hugs n kithes all around

only he is allowed make fun of her mistakes in dancing

anyone else gets deaded. he will fight for her honor how dare you insult his baby

sm give these ttwo a dancing duo video pls

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

the first and only time aria and ten had a duet was during their last concert on superm’s first world tour. during the second half of ten’s solo performance, aria emerged from the left side of the stage, coming to join him in the centre stage. no one had ever seen aria as serious as she was then, both herself and ten becoming completely different people in the moment. midway through, aria spun with her back to ten and leaped backwards into the air - eyes closed - completely trusting ten to be where she needed him to be to catch her.

➣ LUCAS ☾ arihei

besties

please they’re so cute together - tol child next to tini child she barely comes up to his chest :(

bear hugs

he just swamps her in his arms, and when he doesn’t feel like being bent over he picks her up

complains that she’s too heavy but then immediately after will throw her around like a softball

someone tell this man to be careful with her she’s not a barbie doll

singular braincell energy

don’t get it wrong, they’re both super smart

so it’s just - being smort together, but then nearly dying because neither of them remembered that you couldn’t eat raw cookie dough when there are eggs in it

she adores how he’s so confident in the things that he does - like convincing the entire nct fandom that he was fluent in english? king behaviour

so aria looks up to him (literally) but also because she wants to have that confidence some day

lucas says they’re not close and then aria pouts and he takes it all back

nczennies made a 14 minute compilation titled “lucas melting like a popsicle in australia for aria”

and literally what the title tells you, this man goes :(( when he sees her

lucas was actually the person to convince her to go ahead with the [redacted] proposal - and reminded her that it was too good an opportunity to pass up just because she felt like she was outgrowing the boys

he’s so proud of her

and she’s so proud of him

they’re so proud of each other and it makes nczennies want to cry because they never are seen together

sm stop separating the platonic soulmates first markhyuck and now arihei smh

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

during a photoshoot, aria was standing off to the side of the boys, dressed in white suit to contrast the boys’ black ones. the photographer was calling out to her to get her to move closer, but she couldn’t hear him from so far away, and so lucas (who was on the end) just walked over to her, gripped her by the biceps and lifted her vertically and to the left a little bit.

“luc-LUCAS?”

“you had to move :)”

➣ MARK ☾ mari

½ of the best friend crew

honestly at the beginning, mark and aria weren’t very close, having only really seen each other in passing or with johnny

but after being dropped into training together the two quickly became fast friends, and now they’re borderline inseparable

you thought you knew pain? watch aria’s reaction to mark’s graduation from dream :)

mark’s the reason why aria felt confident enough to pitch some of her lyric ideas to the team, after staying up until 4am to help her make some edits so she was as confident as possible

kinda just, rests his head on her shoulder? and wraps his arms around her waist when he’s tired

mari being confused in foreigner: ???

aria said once in a vlive that she finds mark really comforting to be around - when she feels stressed or worried about something she’ll go to mark’s room and just sit on his bed for a while

aria is so close with his parents - “ahh, how’s my favourite child” “i’m doing great mom.” “no not you, how’s aria?” “wh-hu-MOM?”

you’d swear sometimes mark is younger than her, considering the pout he puts on and how much he whines when they’re not on the same team together for promotions

mark big protecc boi but also little small cuddly boi

they’re so soft for each other ( ╥ω╥ )

in one of the fancams for mark’s solo stage during superm, someone zoomed into aria singing along with him in the wings and dancing to herself with the Proudest Smile™

he’s! so! proud! of! her! constantly! she could be walking and he’d be like “omg get it”

when aria refuses to get up and make herself food (this happens way too often, she just gets into the groove of her work and doesn’t want to move) mark gets her to by threatening to do it himself

consistently caught by czennies just standing behind her and holding her hand in crowded areas - airports, waiting rooms, etc.

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

mark and aria were standing off to one side as the mc explained the rules of the game they were about to be playing. mark looked totally confused, and elbowed aria in her side before looking down and mouthing “what?” to her. aria opened her mouth, before closing it and looking down at the ground, muttering to herself, “결합… 結合….. le chéile…. le… le.. oh oh - combined! we have to put them together, markie.”

and thus, a new confusion meme was born

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cherishingstydia · 4 years ago

Note

The 5 times Eddie almost told Buck he loved him and the one time he did (bonus points if it was during a call and Buck was being reckless again)

Eddie couldn’t help but smile. He was spending his evening with his two favorite people Chris and Buck. He’d never had a friend like, Buck probably because he’s never been completely in love with any of his other friends. He tried to play it off like it’s nothing, but he can’t keep pretending. Not when Buck makes it impossible not to love him.

He just watches the way Buck is with Chris and it makes him love him just that much more. Eddie is sure he’s never felt this way before. He’s been in love obviously, but something about this feels so different.

He nervous. He wants to tell him. He wants him to know, but confessing your love anytime is scary, but he really can’t do this now. Not with Chris right in the room that would be a mistake, and he might not be quite ready for the confession yet. He’s not even sure what to say. He needs more that just ‘I love you’ Buck deserves to know just how much love he’s got for him.

“I can hear you thinking from over here.” Buck grinned. “You ok?”

“Yeah I was just thinking how hungry I’m getting. I think I’ll order some dinner for us. Pizza sound good?”

“Pizza always sounds good.” Buck grinned.

“You sure you’re alright? You look like you’re hiding something.”

Damnit Buck knows him too well.

“I promise I’m great. This is the perfect way to spend an evening. Who could ask for anything more?”

“If you say so Eds.” Buck grinned as he softly patted Eddies shoulder before returning to the couch with Chris.

Eddies heart was full. He loves this man so much.

Hours later the apartment was quiet. Chris was in bed and Eddie and Buck were just having some beers on the couch. Ok maybe it doesn’t have to be the perfect words. He’s not great with words but maybe they’ll just come to him.

“Hey Buck.”

“Yeah.” Buck said looking back with those beautiful blue eyes.

“I....I was wondering if you just wanted to crash on the couch. It’s late and you’ve had some drinks I think it’s a good idea. That way you don’t have to wait to sober up and you can just sleep.”

“Yeah thanks man.” Buck smiled

Ok so that was a fail....but there will be other nights. Other nights to tell him exactly how he feels and it will give him sometime with the whole speech. To really get the point across of just what he means.

Buck really knew how to drive Eddie wild. In the best possible way. This man was perfect in every way and the fact that anyone would be the one to end a relationship with him is baffling to Eddie.

Bucks so considerate. Eddie casually mentioned he was helping fix some things at Abuelas on their day off and Buck just showed up to help.

“You didn’t have to do this.” Eddie smiled.

“Well the sooner it’s done the sooner we can hang out. Plus I’m happy to help.”

“You’re too good of a person. Making the rest of us look bad.” Eddie smiled.

“I’m just trying to help.”

“I was trying to compliment you. You’re amazing Buck. Seriously. I just I...I am so lucky to have a friend like you.”

Ok fail. Definitely shouldn’t friend zone the person you’re trying to confess your love for, but it’s ok there will be other times. Besides your abuelas front lawn probably isn’t the most romantic situation for confessing your love.

A long busy shift was nearing its end. Eddie sat with Buck close to his side. Both of them exhausted. Everyone else was in the bunk room or showers so it was just the two of them.

Bucks head gently rested on Eddies shoulder.

“Sorry.” Buck yawned.

“It’s ok. You can stay like this.” Eddie smiled.

“Thanks Eds.” Buck said practically nuzzling Eddies neck.

“Hey Buck.”

“Yeah.”

“So I’ve been thinking a lot lately and trying to find the perfect way to say this, but truth is I don’t think there is a perfect way. So I’m just gonna say it and hope you don’t hate me.” Eddie said letting out a deep breath. “I love you.”

Silence filled the room. Oh no oh no this was a mistake a big mistake.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said it. Please can we go back.”

Still no reply.

Eddie looked down at Buck who was completely knocked out on his shoulder. Ok so he didn’t hear it that’s a relief that he wasn’t ignoring it or freaked out.

They sat like that maybe 20 minutes before he felt Buck jump.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to.” Buck said sitting up.

“It’s ok.” Eddie smiled.

Why do so many songs make him think of Buck? He’s got it bad and it seems like the only songs on the radio are ones that he really relates to.

The car ride is pretty quiet. Chris is in the back distracted by whatever he’s playing on his tablet and the silence is so comfortable, but it just feels so real so domestic like they’re together. Like he could just reach over and grab Bucks hand.

The music especially with Buck singing along definitely wasn’t helping.

🎶“Oh, you're the best friend that I ever had

I've been with you such a long time

You're my sunshine and I want you to know

That my feelings are true

I really love you

Oh, you're my best friend” 🎶

Eddie glanced in the rear view mirror. Chris had his headphones on. Eddie let out a deep breath eyes darting to Buck.

“Hey uh Buck.”

“Yeah.” Buck smiled that smile that literally makes him melt.

“So I’ve been thinking about this...well more can’t even get it out of my head, but ok...Buck I....I think that I want to get Chris a pet. Maybe a hamster.”

“I’m getting a hamster!” Chris squealed.

“Oh ok. Awesome.” Buck nodded. “You sure that’s all it seemed serious.”

“Yeah that’s it.”

Ok so no confession and now Chris is probably getting a pet...great.

Eddie was worried. Abuela had fallen and he didn’t know what was wrong. He wasn’t sure if it was just a fall or if she’d have any injuries. He wanted to rush to the hospital, but Pepa was already there and they only wanted patients having one person there at a time.

Eddie got the call exactly the call he was hoping and praying for. Abuela was fine. Apart from some bruising there was nothing severe.

He grabbed Buck and hugged he was so relieved. He loved Bucks hugs. Recently he’d noticed Buck always tucks his head in when he hugs him. Like he’s trying to get as close as possible and Eddie absolutely loves it.

This hug is unlike their other hugs it’s lingering, but in the best way. Eddies made no effort to pull away, but neither did Buck.

Eddie turned his head slightly towards Buck.

“Hey um can we talk I’ve kinda been meaning to tell you this for awhile now.” Eddie said.

“Yeah sure.” Buck said.

They made their way to the couch. This is it he’s gonna do it.

Eddie let out a deep breath and just as he was gonna say it he was so close. His phone rang. It was Carla and Chris needed him so he had to go.

“Um raincheck. I gotta go.” Eddie sighed.

“Yeah raincheck.” Buck smiled.

+1.

Buck was so reckless. It came from a good place. Wanting to help, but one of these days he’s not gonna be ok, he’s gonna get hurt or even worse killed.

Eddie wouldn’t even look at him the whole ride back to the station.

“Everything ok?”

“You don’t care about getting hurt, but you know how I’ll feel? I’ll be devastated and if you die I will literally go out of my fucking mind.

“Are mad at me? I was just trying to help.”

“Yes I’m mad. I’m furious that you thought you needed to play hero, but that deep care you have for everyone is one of the many reasons I love you” Eddie said unintentionally and definitely at a higher volume than intended, which apparently everyone heard because they all stared.

“You....love me?”

Eddie nodded.

“Like...like a brother?” Buck whispered.

“Definitely not like a brother. Because I am in love with you Buck. Have been for some time now.” Eddie said surging forward and finally kissing Buck.

Well one things for sure this definitely wasn’t a private moment. Everyone heard, everyone saw, but at this point he didn’t even care.

Silence filled the entire room. Everyone was staring, Buck was looking back with a look Eddie couldn’t identify.

“I’m sorry.” Eddie said fleeing once it all sunk in.

“So that’s it? You get to tell me how you feel, but I can’t tell you how I feel? Buck said following Eddie to a more private hallway.

“What?”

“You can tell me you love me but just run away and don’t let me do the same?”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you too.”

It’s not like Eddie was sure Buck would say it back, but imagining and actually hearing it are two very different things.

“You do?”

“I do. I’ve wanted to tell you so many times. I’ve even thought you were gonna tell me, but you never did, and I kinda lost my nerve.”

“I tried. I tried so many times, but either I felt like it wasn’t the right time, or something just came up. I don’t know I was so worried about it being perfect and then I just accidentally announced it to everyone.”

“So would you like to get some dinner tonight?” Buck smiled.

“I’d love too.” Eddie smiled.

“Man you’re really throwing the L word around.” Buck teased.

“Shut up.” Eddie smiled before kissing Buck again.

“Ok big guy let’s save some of that for tonight.” Buck smiled. “Rule one none of this at work...no matter how good it is.”

“Man if you life my kissing just wait until we do more.” Eddie winked.

Bucks face was bright red. Eddie left a quick peck on his cheek.

“Its gonna be awhile. I think we should take this slow.” Eddie said.

“Me too.” Buck smiled.

Eddie had meant it. He really had, but that was before the date, before he saw how good Buck looked. Making out in the back of Bucks jeep wasn’t the plan.

“I thought we were going slow.” Buck panted.

“Buck we’ve been fighting this for years. We’ve been taking it slow enough. I know I love you. I know we belong together. If you want to I’d really like to take this back to my place.” Eddie smiled.

“Let’s go.” Buck said hopping in the front seat.

Eddie jumped out climbing into the passenger seat. They really didn’t talk much on the way back to Eddies.

Eddie could tell Buck was nervous.

“Hey we don’t have to do anything. I might have got carried away.”

“No it’s not that....Um Eddie....I um I’ve never done this before....I mean with a guy.”

“Hey it’s ok. Neither have I....If you want we can figure this out together. Wether that’s now, months from now, our wedding night I don’t care I’ll wait as long as you want.”

“Wedding night. Don’t ya know first dates a little soon to be talking marriage.” Buck laughed.

“I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Hey it’s ok. You are my forever. I know there’s no one else for me. So someday I know we’ll be getting married.”

“Why don’t you just sleep over and we can make out a little more. Then figure out the rest along the way...whenever that may be.

“I like that idea.” Buck smiled.

They made their way to Eddies room, and Eddie fell asleep with Buck in his arms just like he always wanted.

#Buddie #cherishingstydiawrites

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magicalshitposts · 4 years ago

Text

Now that it's canon and I've talked it through with @redshift-corridor I think I'm gonna share my Robbie's eating problem headcanon.

Big big big TW for eating disorders (in detail), throwing up, passing out, being unhealthily thin and having near death experience

Smaller TW for drug and alcohol use

All of this will be under the cut!

Robbie Canonically having a problem with food kinda got me back into the HC that I made a good while ago. Because it was such a small HC that I was thought was very unlikely in the long term, I didn't put much thought into it.

I have now put some thought into it

After doing research into Eating Disorders, there is one by the name of ARFID, which stands for ‘Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder’. It’s pretty much an umbrella term for a lot of unspecified EDs so has a lot of signs (not all of them will apply to the person). The traits I took note of were

Missing meals completely, especially when busy with something else.

Finding it difficult to recognise when hungry.

Feeling full after only a few mouthfuls and struggling to eat more.

Taking a long time over mealtimes/finding eating a ‘chore’.

Weight loss

This was definitely what I associated with Robbie.

This is a headcanon for a different post but It’s vital to know mental health is not taken seriously in my version Hyrule, It’s not taken at all. There are no therapists, no doctors, nothing.

It starts in his early childhood. He was never much on an eater as a kid, only getting through a bit of breakfast and lunch before saying he wasn't hungry for dinner. That was more or less fine though. He had a few snacks throughout the day and was a small boy anyway, his parents never really caught on.

It was moving out that became a problem. Now he didn’t have his parents to remind him to eat, he didn’t. He would have a meal here and there but it was a smaller amount than a grown man needed. His body adjusted to it, his stomach shrinking in size to regulate the lack of food. Then he meets Purah and it all goes down hill. There is a thing, that while isn’t a symptom of ARFID, I do associate with Robbie. He doesn’t like to eat around others. It takes him a long time to be able to feel comfortable enough to do that. Him and Purah move in together straight away, and he does end up getting comfortable, but straight after they are thrown into a war, which is where the big problem starts.

Onto the bulk of it.

No one at work really notices that this is an issue because no one knows him all to well, they all just assume he doesn’t have Lunch. Purah obviously knows and she already concerned. Not a huge amount but enough to give him gentle reminders to eat, his answer to that is ‘thanks doll, but I ain’t too hungry’.

Another HC that is kind of important is my Robbie both drinks alcohol and smokes herb religiously. If he’s not working he’s drunk or high or still working. He has a very high alcohol tolerance, so it takes him a lot to get drunk, but because he’s drinking on an empty stomach, the alcohol comes back up after every couple of drinks. And with smoking, Herb (here's some info on herb) makes you really hungry which is great! He’s eating! Then Purah realises its the only time he’s eating, which is a bit of an issue.

This is when he starts to pass out and throw up. He passes out from hunger every couple of days but recovers from in really quick. He’s back up in an hour. It becomes so frequent however that employees (that aren’t Purah) just move him to the closest wall and carry on working. He throws up literally every time he eats when he’s sober because his body is reacting badly to the sudden intake of food.

Purah then bans him from fieldwork due to sickness. If he faints on the field, whatever he’s doing isn’t going to stop for him, and she is not letting her best friend die, especially on her hands. So he was tied to his desk. That means he’s getting very little exercise as field work was his only form of it. And due to field work he was a very built person. When that stopped, he lost muscle mass and Purah saw how bad he looked. He was gaunt in the face, his arms and legs looked like they could snap at any moment. He looked old and skinny and it was a ungodly sight.

Then the big thing happened. The final battle was taking place as they spoke which meant they had been slumped under with work. They had no time off, which meant no recreational drugs like herb, which meant no eating. Robbie hadn’t eaten for about 2 weeks. Purah thought he was doing well, every time she asked him, ‘did you eat?’, he’d lie and say yes just to get her off his back. And he had been so high of off adrenaline from work, he hadn’t passed out. From an outsider’s perspective, he was improving. Then he passed out again. Then he didn’t wake up after the hour. Many workers believed he was in a Coma, as he was clearly still alive but unresponsive. After 2 days he finally woke up, and Purah had had enough. She was ready to snap, he had lied to her face multiple times and could’ve nearly died.

She finally makes him visit Mipha (who becomes a doctor after the calamity) , who sends him to Gerudo town who harbours the only family of mental health professionals in Hyrule (who are very underground as they aren't trained). They keep him with them for a few days to start him off. He gets a food diary and is told to try and maintain a diet of two small snacks a day. Just to get his stomach used to food again. From that they plan to build up his diet. He never gets to 3 meals a day. The most he has is a morning snack (which is clearly breakfast but he refuses to call it that) and an evening meal. It takes him about 40 minutes to eat his morning snack (two slices of toast) and an hour and a half to two to eat his evening meal.

He never gets back to where he was. To as strong as he used to be. After his body gets used to food, he takes training back up. He begins to train with Impa but she's pushy and demanding and he's stubborn and weak so they butt heads a lot. Instead Impa changes places with Link, who is kind, patient and motivating. Robbie slowly starts to build up his strength (and in turn back up his battle skills). His body is still thin but he's getting better, and the steps count, no matter how big they are

I know that was incredibly dark but a lot of the best headcanons are in my opinion. I made sure to do my research on the topic but if I got anything wrong please correct me!

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whitestaghere · 4 years ago

Text

Love finds a way - Edmund Pevensie x reader (one shot)

Thought I'd do a one shot for Edmund. I know its not been that long, but I missed writing again. I hope you all enjoy this! ❤️

Warnings :- none

Fluff 💕

Late. That's what I was. Late.

I was running as fast as my legs could take me. My friends and I had planned a picnic since it was finally the weekend. And today of all days, I just HAD to wake up late.

Finally arriving at the park I bent down hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.

Looking around I tried to spot my friends.

"Y/N!! OVER HEREEE!!!" I glanced behind me, to see my friends waving me over.

Jogging upto them I gave them a lazy smile.

"Hey y/n!!" Julie chirped, skipping towards me and pulling me into her embrace.

"Wow... well somebody looks like she ran the Olympics," Kyle laughed. "And look those eye bags."

I rolled my eyes taking a seat next to him, "oh why don't you just shut up." At this he poked my side. "Hey don't snap at me! I was just messing around y/nnn!!" he whined flinging his arm over my shoulder. Lips in a pout. I couldn't help but laugh ruffling his hair.

Julie gave me a soft smile, "had a long night?" I nodded my head in response. She scooted next to me leaning her head on my shoulder, "don't overwork yourself sweetie." By now, the two knew me like an open book. So it was easy for them to know how I feel in just seconds.

Kyle nudged me, "yes, it's the weekend! Lighten up girl! We're free from school work and you, from the student council. Now it's just time for you, me and Julie."

He interlocked hands with mine and Julie. I smiled, "thank you.. you always know how to cheer me up." Honestly I couldn't be more thankful.

Julie pinched my cheek scooting in front of us, "so what do you guys want to do??"

I shrugged. "I'm hungry.." I eyed Kyle who was rubbing his stomach.

Julie furrowed her eyebrows, "Seriously? Kyle, we just got here and the first thing you want to do is eat??

"Well, I don't know Jules!! It's called a picnic for a reason you know? You come and you eat. By the way, where is the food?" he raised an eyebrow.

"You don't just come and eat!! The food will be brought out at the right time!" she snapped back.

This was not anything new of course. It was part of our friendship to argue like this. It was obviously all fun and jokes. I smiled to myself, watching my friends bicker. That is, until someone else caught my attention.

To be more precise, him.

And by him I mean Edmund. I had got to know him through Kyle and ended up catching feelings for the boy.

Kyle on the other hand predicted this would happen and was literally celebrating the day I admitted it. But even though I had met him a couple of times, we had never really had a proper conversation apart from the regular 'hi's and byes'.

Well back to the present situation. He was sitting a little further away from our spot, along with his mother and his siblings; clad in a pale blue shirt and brown jeans. Short brown wavy locks blowing lightly in the wind.

He began to laugh at something someone said and oh God was it adorable. I couldn't take my eyes off him, not that this was anything new. I was so busy admiring him, I hadn't even realised that my friends had stopped their bickering trying to grab my attention.

I only snapped back into my senses the second the the boy locked eyes with mine. He gave me a soft smile waving at me and for some reason I looked away at once, feeling the heat rise upto my cheeks. Facepalm.

Y/n you're supposed to wave back.

"Y/N?" Julie placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Huh, yes? I'm sorry I-I umm" I cleared my throat, "I wasn't following.." My gaze instinctively flickering towards his direction and back at my friends.

This of course not going unnoticed by them. Specially Julie, as she was sitting right infront of me.

Following my gaze she looked back at me with a smirk, "oh I see what's going on here."

Oh no.

Kyle glanced between us tilting his head in confusion, "I- I don't think I'm following.."

Julie chuckled shuffling to the side to give Kyle a proper view, not so subtly pointing towards him. Now realising what was going on, the once confused look was replaced with a sly grin.

He eyed me wiggling his eyebrows, "ooh lala.. I didn't know Edmund was here." The two exchanged mischievous looks. I had mentally prepared myself for the teasing already.

"Oh y/n... this is just ridiculous! Would you just stop staring at him like that and just go talk to him for once?" Julie nudged me.

"She's right you know.. you've been crushing on him for ages now. And all you do is stare. Try to make conversation!" I could only look down in embarrassment, blushing wildly. Normally I'd brush it off, but now that he's right there I just can't.

"Y/N! HE'S LOOKING THIS WAY!" Kyle whisper-yelled waving at them.

Almost immediately my eyes shifted back towards him. He was indeed looking this way, my gaze locking with his. This time mustering all the courage in my body I waved back at him, to which he returned a smile.

"Awww," Kyle poked my cheeks. "Our little y/n is in loooooove!!!"

Julie scooted over next to Kyle grabbing his hands, "don't do that Kyle!! He might get the wrong idea and think you both are a thing." He widened his eyes and dramatically pulled away.

"Oh come on you guys.. don't be silly," I mumbled under my breath but loud enough for them to hear.

"What do you mean don't be silly?" Kyle raised his eyebrows. "You can't fool us, we know you're totally whipped for the boy!"

"What? NO! That's ridiculous.. I-I- he doesn't even know me to begin with."

"Yeah you know that won't work anymore since you said it yourself that you like him.." Kyle grinned.

"And not all love stories begin with two people knowing eachother you know?" My face began to heat up at the mention of 'love'. Julie continued. "Also come on, it's so obvious he likes you too."

"Does not.." I sighed.

"OF COURSE HE DOES! Have you noticed the million times the boy tries to make conversation with you and how he looks at you?! Only for you to be a coward and find someway to avoid him. Don't even make me bring back the school talent show incident."

I shuddered just hearing her say it.

>> Flashback <<

The school's annual talent show.

My friends and I were performing a song, and Julie just had to suggest that we wear heels. Me being the person who had never worn heels before, tried my best not to fall face forward. But I suppose luck was just not on my side today.

Kyle had helped me backstage, way before the event even began. Which I found a little wierd, since there was so much time and I could've just stayed in the waiting room. He held my hand all the way so he could keep me from tripping.

The day before the show, I had been ranting about how excited I was to see Edmund, and that's when Kyle had got a little idea at the back of his mind.

That leaves us here; we were backstage. "Thank you Kyle.." he smiled at me. "Anything for my beautiful best friend." I blushed at his words nudging him, "oh shush.."

He smirked at me.

"Umm.. Kyle? W-whats with that look?" he laughed, "I'm supposing someone would be really happy to see you today."

That's when it clicked me. This is why he brought me here this early. Heart beginning to race, I scanned my surroundings immediately and that's when I spotted him.

Oh lord.

Edmund smiled making his way towards us. I gasped and quickly began working on an escape plan. Seeing the back door just on Kyle's opposite, I decided to make a run for it. I was just too shy.

"Hey Kyle, hey Y/N!"

"Oh hey Ed! Y/N was just waiting to see yo-" Kyle trailed off processing the situation, "Y/N NOOO!! COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Yep. I made a run for it.

But remember when I said luck wasn't on my side today? Well yes, I managed to trip. I guess I kind of expected this; because how could a person who has never walked in heels before, ever be able to run in them?

I tripped and toppled over into a basket of clothes. Thank god it was big enough, or else who knows what worse things would've happened.

Kyle running upto me and helping me up while Edmund made his way towards us. I could hear the children around me laughing. All I could do was look away in embarrassment. Kicking off my heels I pushed past Kyle before Ed could reach us and rushed out of the hall. Oh that is, before glaring at Kyle.

End of flashback

Julie leaned back to the tree, "I don't see the point of you looking at eachother but not making a move for it." Kyle nodded in agreement, "though Edmund is trying.."

I looked back in his direction. I've got to admit, she does have a point. But I guess this comes with my anxiety. The reason why I cannot resist getting embarrassed and trying to run away. Thinking I'd get flustered, say something dumb and make a fool of myself.

Kyle abruptly stood up, waving at them. "Let's go over to them."

They looked our way waving at us.

Oh no. This is not good.

Peter, the oldest, stood up immediately motioning them to follow him. He began to jog in our direction, Edmund right at his feet.

Feeling like my heart would rip out of my chest I stood up by instinct only to be pulled back by Kyle. Giving me a devilish smirk he whispered into my ear, "oh no y/n.. not this time."

"Hey there!" Peter exclaimed. "We didn't notice you lot here until Edmund told us."

Kyle laughed, "neither did we.. it's great to see you all here." The boys busy engaging in a conversation of their own, I tried to keep my eyes away Edmund.

Lucy and Susan waved at Julie and I, coming over to start up a conversation. While talking I couldn't help but notice Edmund, Peter and Kyle sneaking glances in my direction. I was fighting to hold back the blush rising upto my cheeks. Deciding to brush it off, I listened to what the girls had to say.

"It's so great to see you after so long y/n!" Lucy gave me a hug. Hugging her back I smiled softly, "I'm sorry I couldn't come see you both sooner.. my schedules been so packed lately."

Susan nodded her head, "I heard. The student council has a lot of work going on at the moment." She placed a hand on my shoulder giving me a warm smile, "don't stress yourself y/n.."

Susan and Lu have always been like sisters to me even though I wasn't that close to Peter and Edmund. Hearing Susan's words really made me feel so much better.

A short timeskip (😂) >>>

"Excuse me girls, Y/n.. could I have a word with you?" Kyle interrupted. I nodded my head excusing myself and following him.

"Where are we going Kyle?"

He kept silent eyes focused ahead of him.

"Kyle???" I grabbed onto his arm, "where are you taking meee??" I whined.

"Just follow me.. I have something to tell you," I noticed how he tried to hold back a smile.

Walking further away from our friends we stopped by the water fountain. "Did we have to come this far?" He swiftly turned around to face me at once giving me a sharp gaze; me jumping back in shock at the action.

"Edmund likes you."

"What?" Did I just hear him say what I think he said? I'm pretty sure I'm just hearing things now. Maybe it's because Edmund was with us.

"Edmund likes you," he repeated emphasising his words. I scanned his face trying to see if he was joking or not.

He had to be messing with me right now. There's no way Edmund would like me.

I faked a laugh at him rolling my eyes, "haha very funny.."

"Y/n I'm not joking okay? He told me.. he really did," Kyle looked at me with a straight face. It looked rather believable but what if he was just joking?

Okay I can't take this anymore. At this point, he's messing with my feelings.

"Listen, Kyle.. I'm not buying this okay? If this is your way in pulling a prank on me. I'm not listening." Not wanting to hear anymore of this I turned around, getting ready to leave. But a strong grip on my wrist held me from leaving.

"Kyle no..." I trailed off, turning around to face him I widened my eyes in shock.

Now in Kyle's place stood Edmund.

I jumped backwards letting out a little yelp, "Edmund I-I." Looking around me I saw that Kyle had made his way away from us; pulling a thumbs up at me. I did not expect this.

"Y/N?" feeling my face heat up, I reluctantly shifted my gaze to Edmund. My eyes connecting with those chocolate brown eyes. My throat suddenly went dry.

The situation I was in, made my heart pound against my chest so hard. My crush was standing infront of me and what made me even more flustered? He was holding my hand. And boy were his hands soft.

It took everything in me not to go intertwining our hands together.

"Y-yeah?"

"Y/N, is it true?"

I gulped, "sorry I-I don't think I'm following?" Of course I knew what he was talking about.

"That you like me?" the expression on his face unreadable. I couldn't tell if he was going to be mad at me or happy. He looked at me with his piercing gaze, clearly waiting for an answer.

I can't lie to him.

I don't want to lie to him. I want him to know how I feel. But at the same time, I was scared that maybe Kyle was joking and this was all a prank. And I don't want to lose what Edmund and I have right now.

But my feelings decided to take over.

"I-I... please don't be mad at me. Umm.. yes it's true," I looked down at my hands, not wanting to meet his eyes. Nothing. No response. I knew it, it was too good to be true. All I wanted to do right now was go home and lock myself in my room. I wanted to cry so bad.

"I'm sorry. I-I have to go.." voice cracking. Once again, turning on my heels I walked away from him.

I expected him to hold me back. But no. My vision became blurry with the tears threatening to fall. I knew it. He didn't feel the same.

Just when my tears began streaming down uncontrollably, I bumped into something.

Oh great. Now you have to embarrass yourself infront of him too. I stumbled back losing my balance, bracing for the impact of the hard ground.

Only, I didn't feel anything. No pain.

I slowly opened my eyes, locking eyes with none other than Edmund. I gasped. Apparently, the something I had bumped into, was him. He had managed to wrap his arms around my waist, holding me steady.

Slowly helping me up he averted his gaze scratching the nape of his neck.

"Thank you.." I mumbled looking at my feet.

Suddenly I felt his large hands cup my cheeks, wiping my tears away.

"Y/n.." he whispered.

I looked back at him, his gaze so soft.

"Edmund I'm so sorry.."

"No no shh.. don't be sorry, what do you have to be sorry about?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but he gently placed his index finger on my lips. I felt like my heart would explode at this point.

"Y/n, I'm sorry I let you walk away like that. I just.. I couldn't believe it. That you actually like me."

I tilted my head in confusion.

He chuckled softly, "Y/N I like you too. Heck with it, I think I just might be in love with you."

Okay now I'm sure I was hearing things.

"R-really?" pinching myself just to make sure I wasn't dreaming, I whinced.

He chuckled. Nodding his head smiling softly, "I always have. Since the day Kyle introduced us. I felt so comfortable around you. I.." he took a deep breath, "I kept my feelings to myself because I thought you didn't feel the same. I was afraid of the rejection."

"Why would you think I'd reject you? "

He laughed, "well.. everytime I'd try to talk to you, you would run away."

At that, Julie came into my head. She had told me exactly that. I felt a pang of guilt. That was on me.

"I'm sorry.. I really like you too Ed. I was just so scared you know?"

Now it was his turn to look at me in confusion, "scared of what?"

I sighed, "I wanted to make a first good impression, I thought I'd make a fool of myself infront of you.."

He hummed, "well forget that now. You don't need to worry about making a good first impression on me anymore. Because I think you're just amazing." I felt my cheeks heat up once again.

"Y/N?"

"Yes Ed?"

"Since the feelings are mutual, would you do me the honour and let me court you?" I smiled nodding my head. My heart was fluttering with joy.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me towards him and into his embrace, "finally.. I can do this and call you mine. I love you y/n."

Wrapping my arms around him I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck, "I love you too Ed."

Pulling away I giggled. I was so happy. The moment I had been dreaming of for so long, finally came true.

Gazing into each others eyes we burst into giggles. "You don't know how happy I am right now," Edmund mumbled, leaning his forehead against mine.

"Oh would you both cut with the cute talk and kiss already?!" Peter yelled suddenly. We were so caught up in the moment we hadn't even noticed our little audience.

Lucy was squealing in joy while the others were giving us knowing looks. Like they knew this was going to happen all along. Which they actually did. Kyle winking at me, I really have to thank the guy I thought.

I turned back to face Edmund, who had his eyes on me already.

He cleared his throat, "c-can I?" He looked so flustered. Giggling I stood on my toes pecking his lips. When I pulled away I couldn't resist the urge to laugh.

His lips parted, eyes wide and pupils dilated. And the next minute he leaned down locking our lips together once again the two of us smiling into the kiss.

Well what do you know? Love finds a way..

Hey there everyone! I hope you all enjoyed this! Please send in requests guys, my inbox literally has flies in it 😂❤️

Love you all and stay safe ❤️

#edmund pevensie #edmund x reader #edmund pevensie x reader #edmund pevensie imagine #king edmund #peter pevensie #susan pevensie #lucy pevensie #prince caspian #narnia aslan #narnia #chronicles of narnia

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snowe-zolynn-rogers · 4 years ago

Text

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,835 Words

Summary: Off to a chaotic start, I see. Bakugou gets dared to start a 1-A group chat. The beginnings, Shinsou gains a father figure, and the bakusquad is chaotic.

Warnings: Dead Body Mention, Death Mention, Cursing, Anxiety Attack Mention, Caps, Mental Breakdown Mention, Fire Mention, Choking Mention, Injury Mention, Murder Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Notes: Shigaraki's alias in the group chat is Ren and Dabi's alias is Haruhi. ¥11,055 is about $100 and ¥110,550 is about $1,000 on the day I wrote this.

Usernames: Area 51 Ashido: aggressive chicken dance, Kaminari: pikachoo, Kirishima: ordained, Jirou: neko neko kneecaps, Sero: wine and cheerios, Bakugou: mother i crave violence, Shinsou: its a mental breakdown

Usernames: Emo Sanctuary Jirou: tell tale heart, Tokoyami: eldritch peep, Todoroki: i love you 3000, Bakugou: knife tag, Midoriya: bitchasaurus, Shinsou: unhappy meal, Kuroiro: meth and deadamine, Shigaraki: depresso extra shot, Dabi: *sad kazoo*

Into The Group Chat We Go: Chapter 1

1:45 AM

Emo Sanctuary

i love you 3000: I require attention.

unhappy meal: is that so?

i love you 3000: Yes, it is, otherwise I wouldn't have said it.

unhappy meal: @bitchasaurus, your man is sad.

bitchasaurus: He's not my man, Shinsou. Pretty sure he's no one's man, actually. And it's not like I'd have time for a relationship anyway.

i love you 3000: True. I'm not in a relationship.

unhappy meal: regardless, get your friend. the man wants attention.

bitchasaurus and i love you 3000 are now offline

*sad kazoo*: I dare someone to start a group chat with 1a and say something weird.

knife tag: Would I get paid for this?

*sad kazoo*: I'll give you anywhere from 11,05 yen to 110,550 yen.

knife tag: Deal.

2:00 AM

Bakugou has started a group chat

Bakugou has added Hanta, Mina, Eijiro, Denki, and 15 others to the chat

Bakugou has renamed the group chat to Area 51

Bakugou: His body is ready to be taxidermied. It's what Shinsou would've wanted.

Sero: What the fucketh?

Aoyama: Quoi?

Midoriya is now online

Midoriya: You didn't add Shinsou, you ass.

Bakugou: Oops, fuck.

Bakugou has added Shinsou to Area 51

Shinsou: hi I guess.

Aoyama: So your corpse is not being stuffed by Bakugou at the moment?

Shinsou: I mean, he can always taxidermy me while I'm alive. it's not like I'd stop him.

Midoriya: He's not. Kacchan was dared with cash to start this group chat and say something weird. Goodnight, filthy heathens.

Midoriya is now offline

Ojiro: Wow, Midoriya isn't messing around.

Aoyama: I feel ✨insulted✨ being called a filthy heathen.

Ojiro: I mean, it is an insult, Aoyama.

Aoyama: Yes, Ojiro, I understood that.

Sero: Why on earth are you two awake?

Ojiro: Because I can't sleep?

Aoyama: I got hungry.

Sero: Well, go to bed.

2:15 AM

Emo Sanctuary

knife tag: It's done.

knife tag: chatscreenshot.jpg

*sad kazoo* has sent a money transfer to knife tag

*sad kazoo*: Your money's pending to whatever card is attached to your number.

knife tag: moneytransferscreenshot.jpg

eldritch peep: wow, you really sent him 11,055 yen?

knife tag: This man's out here fueling my savings since UA instituted the no job rule since the dorms went into effect.

unhappy meal: they instituted a no job rule!? that's why I got that paper!? I thought that was a joke!

*sad kazoo*: Better put in a two weeks, kid.

unhappy meal: I literally can't. if I don't work, I don't have a way of feeding myself!

*sad kazoo*: Can't you ask your parents to send you food money, Toshi?

unhappy meal: okay, Haruhi, I know you weren't here when we started this chat with just me, Katsuki, Shouto, and Izuku so you don't know but I literally don't have parents, man. I lived in an orphanage until the beginning of the school year and, after I got in, I began renting an apartment near the school so I could attend. which means I'll lose my apartment where my cat and dog stay and it has all my stuff in it too.

tell tale heart: He's having an anxiety attack, someone go get him. I don't know where his room is.

meth and deadamine: I'll check on him.

knife tag: On my way.

eldritch peep: I'm coming, hold on.

*sad kazoo*: I've finally become a father at 28. I knew this shit would happen eventually.

*sad kazoo* has sent a money transfer to unhappy meal

*sad kazoo*: That's your monthly allowance. Do whatever you want, kid.

unhappy meal: I'm gonna cry.

unhappy meal: moneytransferscreenshot.jpg

meth and deadmine: You got 110,550 yen!? Haruhi out here paying kids to exist.

*sad kazoo*: That sounds weird, don't say that. I'm here because I'm Ren's best friend and Ren is Izuku's brother. I've effectively adopted both Katsuki and Hitoshi, I'm not sending random kids money for no reason, they're my sons.

eldritch peep: Ignore him, Kuroiro likes making things sound weird. How does it feel to be a father, Haruhi?

*sad kazoo*: Fatherhood? Guess that means I need to shape up and be a dad, huh?

eldritch peep: Step the fuck up, Haruhi.

*sad kazoo*: I am, I am. Toshi, kid, don't cry or whatever, everything's gonna be fine.

unhappy meal: thanks, dad.

*sad kazoo*: My heart hurts. Why does it hurt? What the fuck is this feeling?

knife tag: It's called pride. It's because you're happy.

*sad kazoo*: This child is mine now, I'm going to find a way to legally adopt you.

unhappy meal: that would actually be really cool if you did.

*sad kazoo*: Looks like I'm re-evaluating my life tonight so I can make it hospitable for a son. I'm gonna go see if I can figure out how to fix some shit. Night, kids.

knife tag: hitoshicryingabouthavingadadnow.vid

Transcript Begin

"Hito, it's okay." -eldritch peep

"I have a dad now, Fumi." -unhappy meal

"We know, Shinsou." -meth and deadamine

"I have a dad." -unhappy meal

"Time to sleep, Toshi." -knife tag

"Okay. Time to sleep." -unhappy meal

Transcript End

*sad kazoo*: I love my son. Take care of him.

8:25 AM

Area 51

Ashido: ALERT- MY ALARMS DIDN'T GO OFF, PLEASE STALL AIZAWA FOR ABOUT TEN MINUTES

this message has been marked as an emergency

Shinsou: On it.

8:40 AM

Area 51

Ashido: What'd you do to distract him, Shinsou?

Shinsou: Oh, gave myself an anxiety attack.

Ashido: SHINSOU!

Shinsou: It was an emergency! You'd be in detention right now if I hadn't. plus I had one last night too so it wasn't hard to do.

Ashido: Shinsou, don't ever do that for me again but thank you. You're getting big bakusquad hugs at lunch.

Shinsou: It's not like it was difficult. I got lots to break down about.

Ashido: Me too, bitch.

4:00 PM

Area 51

Shinsou has changed their name to its a mental breakdown

Ashido: Oh my god, Shinsou.

its a mental breakdown: I figured while I'm at it.

Ashido: Speaking of at it.

Ashido has changed Kaminari's name to pikachoo

Ashido has changed Jirou's name to neko neko kneecaps

Ashido has changed Sero's name to wine and cheerios

Ashido has changed Bakugou's name to mother i crave violence

Ashido has changed their name to aggressive chicken dance

Kirishima: Could you not think of one for me?

aggressive chicken dance: More like can't decide.

Kirishima has changed their name to ordained

pikachoo: You're ordained, Kiri?

ordained: Yeah. I got ordained for my moms' wedding in a few months.

pikachoo: So cool, dude.

ordained: Oh, Shinsou, dude, you said you had an anxiety attack last night, you good, man?

its a mental breakdown: one sec.

4:05 PM

Emo Sanctuary

unhappy meal: can I talk about it, Zuku?

bitchasaurus: Yeah, why not? Because it involves Ren? It's not a big deal, Hitoshi!

unhappy meal: just making sure, some people don't like their personal lives talked about by other people.

bitchasaurus: I don't mind, Hitoshi.

4:09 PM

Area 51

its a mental breakdown: alright. so we had a chat from right after the sports festival with just me, Midoriya, Bakugou, and Todoroki which became an emo chatroom when we added Tokoyami, Jirou, and Kuroiro.

its a mental breakdown: And then Midoriya got in contact with his older brother, Ren and added him and Ren's best friend Haruhi to the chat because he wanted to show off Ren but Ren didn't feel comfortable talking without Haruhi lurking in the chat.

its a mental breakdown: you guys probably don't know but I was an orphan from a really really young age because my parents died when I was young and my other family members didn't want me. and at the beginning of this year, when I got into UA, I moved out of the orphanage, got an apartment close to campus and all, I'd had a job for two years prior.

its a mental breakdown: and last night, Haruhi gave Bakugou 11,055 yen as a dare to start this chat. then Bakugou and Haruhi were talking about the no-job rule because of the dorms and I'd thought it was a joke when I got the paper so I didn't have anything saved up and I don't exactly have parents I can ask for money if I need to buy food and I'm definitely not asking my friends and bothering them.

its a mental breakdown: I mean, I have enough I could coast for a month or two without pay but I feel like Aizawa would kill me for not eating right.

its a mental breakdown: anyway, I had my anxiety attack, Haruhi sent me money, Kuroiro made a sentence creepy like always, and Haruhi called me and Bakugou his sons. him, Jirou and Tokoyami joked about him being a dad for a bit and then he actually told me when I went back online that he wanted to legally adopt me.

mother i crave violence: Thus why I didn't wake up Pinky this morning. I was busy in the Gen Ed dorms with my new brother.

its a mental breakdown: I will have another breakdown, don't tempt me.

ordained: Shinsou, man, that's so awesome! You have a dad! We should have a party for Shinsou getting a dad!

its a mental breakdown: if it makes you guys happy then go for it but if you go crazy with the party again. we already had the incident on my birthday, we're not having another.

Asui: What incident, kero?

its a mental breakdown: Kirishima's hair got set on fire at some point, Sero got tangled onto the railing of my balcony and was hanging from my fifth floor apartment's balcony railing, Mina choked on a piece of burnt tofu, Kaminari slipped in the bathroom and fell into the full bathtub where he then electrocuted himself, Bakugou got his face shoved into the cake and sat in the corner pouting while my cat Ume and dog Anzu tried to eat the cake off his face for the rest of the night, Jirou got lost inside my apartment building, and I hit my head on the counter and had a concussion for a week.

Hagakure: Why is your friend group so chaotic?

mother i crave violence: I like to think I've cultivated a well-functioning group of chaotic demons. At least if one of us is doing something dumb, usually the rest will either follow or do something dumb of their own.

neko neko kneecaps: I'd like to plead innocent as well as shift majority blame to Midoriya's friend group because I just know those idiots could and would collectively kill and hide a body and nobody would ever know it was them.

Midoriya: Bold of you to assume we haven't already.

neko neko kneecaps: Yeah, hi, mom, pick me up, I'm afraid of Midoriya again.

Midoriya: You can run, Jirou, but you can't hide.

neko neko kneecaps: You can't kill me, Bakugou would be sad!

Midoriya: You may live...for now.

neko neko kneecaps: Oh, thank the gods.

Taglist: @lgbtforeverything @rin-tanaka

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justasimplesinner · 4 years ago

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hello, i just found your tumblr😊😊 i would like to ask for a scenario where Eddie from Arkham games has been working non-stop for days and his s/o starts to get jealous since his attention goes all to batman ❤ Fluff pls~🥰 (Sorry for my bad english)

this stinky gremlin i swear, i don’t know if i want to punch him or kiss him

dumb bitch Arkham!Eddie overworking himself AGAIN:

– You're doing it again, Edward. – you sighed at his hunched back, fingers skimming over some parts on the workbench near you, but he never even budged, never acknowledged your presence.

Because of him overworking and neglecting himself, his spine was starting to take shape of one of those curly questionmarks he doodled on every aviable space. It was concerning, to say the least...

– I'm disappointed. – this one struck. You knew this one struck. But if pressing on his soft spots was the only way to get his attention, you didn't have a choice.

– Disappointed? – he may have been snorting, he may have been laughing at you, but the subtle way in which his body immediately froze after you words didn't escape your trained eye. After all those years, you knew what made him tick. – Who are you to tell me you're disappointed? Do you seriously think I'd care for-...

Ah, there went the defensive mechanisms of his - denial, insults, feeding his own ego to recompensate for any moderatively hurtful comment directed at him. The whole package. Despite how he prided himself in being an enigma, he was awfully easy to read.

Looking at it, you could understand why some of your friends tried to convince you this was a toxic relationship. Who knew, maybe they were right. But you knew something they didn't - you knew Edward Nigma for all he was, all his faults and strengths, but most importantly, you knew he was but a child trapped in a man's body.

When children threw tantrums, nobody called them toxic - why should this be different? What with Edward's stunted emotional growth, he had little to no control over his feelings and their outbursts. But especially, he had little to no control over what he was saying when they happened - not to say you were never hurt by his spiteful words, but you knew better than to take them to heart.

You wouldn't be here, with him, if you did. And he knew that damn well - he knew damn well that if you didn't care for him you wouldn't put up with his bullshit, and yet, despite how grateful he really was, you never seemed to get the recognition you truly deserve.

Not from him, at least - his henchmen, though... that was a whole different story. There was a reason most of them called you "Mom" behind Edward's back.

– You promised. – maybe it was just as childish of you to cut in with this as it was for him to make a scene over nothing, but if you let him go on, you'd be sitting here for another hour or so.

– In the first place, you shouldn't believe in promises. The world is full of them-... – you were sure he was about to go full Paulo Coelho on you and quote the entire thing if you'd only let him. There was no chance at blowing his own horn that this man wouldn't take.

– So you're calling yourself a liar? – you mused instead, walking up to him to lay your hands on his shoulders - which almost immediately lost some of the tension, mind you – What happened to being the "man of your word"? I distinctly remember you giving me a whole speech, and call me foolish, but I was under the impression you're the type of man to practise what you preach. – pointing out his mistakes like this was satisfying on a petty level, you had to admit that much. No matter what he said, he'd be only digging his own grave and you both knew that. You left him with no room to wiggle, no way to escape.

You weren't stupid, despite him often saying that - he wouldn't pick himself no bimbo or himbo, after all. And in times like these, it was clear he hated you for it.

– You're manipulating me into giving in. – he accused with a pout, crossing his arms, and it took everything you had in you not to laugh then. Nothing but a child, indeed...

– Whatever it takes to get you to bed. – your murmured sweetly, leaning down to his ear, but every intention of placing a kiss under it died once the smell of sweat, grime and motor oil reached your nose – And a shower. Not necessarily in that order.

He rolled his eyes as you scrunched up your face - good lord above, you'll have to visit more often because this man couldn't take care of himself anymore. The only thing he really cared about now was Batman - his humiliation, his downfall, his surrender to the great mind of Edward Nigma, The Riddler, The Ultimate Boss or whatever it is Ed called himself nowadays.

Watching him spiral down into madness over the years really took its' toll on you, but it made Edward need you more than ever. He couldn't even take a bath by himself, it seemed.

– Please. – begging was your last resort, but like you said - you'd do anything to get him to rest. Besides, you knew that making him feel in power was a huge weakness of his - he'd figure out a way to bring you a star from the sky if you'd only said one sweet "please".

And hearing him sigh in resignation, feeling his back straighten and press harder into your hands, you knew you won him over.

– Only because you asked nicely. – he grumbled laying his palms flat on the surface of his desk, preparing to get up. Of course, not before you stole a grateful kiss from him. Good boys deserved rewards, after all.

You'd lie if you said you didn't enjoy the way a blush crawled from his neck up to his ears. No matter how many years passed, this dork still blushed every time you kissed him and it must've been the most adorable thing you've ever witnessed.

– I was serious about the shower. You stink.

You laughed at hearing his agonized groaning. There was no getting out of this one.

***

Despite some minor difficulties, like Edward barely being able to support his own weight, let alone wash himself, you considered the shower a success. After a good scrub and a clean shave, you had your handsome riddle-man back. With triple bags under his eyes and a hairline you were starting to worry about, but handsome nonetheless.

– Are you hungry? – you asked, cupping his cheeks and smiling at the smoothness of them. God only knew that terrible stubble of his was like needles to your skin... But, instead of a proper answer, his head fell onto your shoulder heavily as he leaned almost all of his weight on you.

– Bed. – he moaned and you couldn't help the laugh that escaped you as you patted his still wet hair condescendingly.

Seems you'd have to re-schedule a warm meal to another time. You'd make him something in the morning. Or afternoon, considering it was well after three in the morning and once Edward fell asleep, there was no chance of waking him up for at least twelve hours.

– Of course, baby, c'mon. – you chuckled, tugging him out of the bathroom and leading the way to his office. He had a fatigued sofa bed for when he was caught up with work - which was most of the time. Didn't mean he used it, though. He was the type of man to work himself into exhaustion and fall asleep right where he's standing, only to complain about back problems to you later.

It was a shame he didn't use the sofa more often, too - it was almost unbelieveably comfortable for something that costed less than a decent meal.

– Go on and lay down, – you encouraged, watching as he all but fell onto the sofa – I'll go tell the boys to-...

It was with surprising strength that he pulled you back harshly, apparently not minding the way you literally tumbled into him as his lean arms circled your form and forcefully rolled you over so that his head was laying comfortably on your chest - his favourite pillow of all.

– Or not. – you huffed, rolling your eyes at him as his grip around you only tightened and he nuzzled his face into your t-shirt. Nothing but a big man-child...

– Don't ever stop. – he murmured, so low you barely caught it, once his breathing synchronized with yours and your arms hugged him back as one of your hands went to his head to brush through his hair.

– Hm? Stop what?

You felt his arms squeeze you tightly one last time.

– Loving me.

You watched him fall asleep with a smile on your face. Damn this absolute dork... Like you'd ever stop loving him.

#edward nygma #edward nigma #riddler #the riddler #arkhamverse #my writing #fluff #a sprinkle of angst #geekgirlofarchangels #not my proudest work tbh #but i hope you like it!#i tried lmao

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fish-on-the-sun · 3 years ago

Text

Was feeling weed euphoria and then accidentally swiped over to a filter when I was taking a snapchat pic, that made my jaw slimmer and more defined, my cheekbones a little more prominent, changed the shape of my eyebrow, made the bridge of my nose slimmer, and made my skin flawless and erased my dark circles.

That made my face dysmorphia so bad... I keep swiping back and forth and I look so hideous to myself without the filter, and I'm fucking depressed about how I look now

And I told my friend all that, and then I said "why must something like this always ruin my happiness?"

And then it fuckin hit me just how miserable my eating disorder makes me. I can be happy, enjoying whatever I'm doing, and then I see my reflection or get hit with an intrusive thought saying, "look how big your thighs are when you sit down" or see my friend who also has an ED but it's shorter and smaller framed than me, and all I can think about is how jealous I am of her, how I want to be as skinny a her

And I get so much internal, emotional pain. Its almost physical? You know? It's this frantic restless feeling of wanting to lose weight as quickly as possible, so you fast or only eat one piece of fruit a day, and then get so hungry you binge, and hate yourself more because why can't I just be skinny right now? Why do I have to stop enjoying things, enjoying eating, enjoying food? Why do I have to always feel so hollow? Why do I have to center my whole life around... Being skinny? What do I gain from it when I achieve it? Nothing, except this constant self consciousness that makes you wonder if everyone you pass on the street thinks you're too skinny or are they jealous or do they think I'm fat do they think I'm ugly do they think I'm attractive

And I gain the absence of joy or desire (or energy) to do anything

This just all hit me, all at once. Truly, I am so miserable like this. The mere concept of my body ruins my mood. Why, then, do I hold onto it so fiercely? Why do I lie to protect it? Jesus, this just makes me hate myself more. I've been *happy* that one of my eating disorder compulsions has been basically, "if you eat too much your friend or family member will die." because I have something else to blame for my relapse. I'm taking advantage of it. I constantly think about, "this time, I can frame it like I truly do not want to do this, do not feel good doing this, and I can lose so much more weight than I would have been allowed to before, and then act like, when the fear and compulsion has faded, I just don't get hungry enough to gain weight, best I can do is maintain."

My fucking life is literally falling apart around me. Finances are bad, but I'm always too tired to work more than a couple hours. My OCD is so bad I'm suicidal. I might be becoming delusional. I've partially lost some of my vision in my eye, I get chest pains, I can't workout the way I enjoy, I'm falling behind on school work, I didn't get to go to my national conference to present my research...... But I still will do everything I can to save this relapse. To make people not suspect that I'm enjoying this. So they think I'm doing the best I can and my best is just not enough to maintain my weight.

I make my life unbearable to save my eating disorder. Why? Why do I do this?

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tomsrebeleyebrow · 5 years ago

Text

Anon asked: hey babe! if you feel comfortable, could you please do a blurb about peter parker finding out the reader has an ED that’s she’s been trying to hide from him? i understand if you’re uncomfortable with that but i would appreciate if you could write it. i love your work, thanks for everything :)

requests are now closed

A/N: hi love, thanks so much for the request! and also deepest apologies because it took me so long to do it but i was quite busy recently 😖😣 anyway hope you will enjoy it and please, all of you take care of yourselves 💖

‘Let me help you’

Warnings: ANGST (mention of eating disorder/anorexia and its side effects) but fluff in the end

masterlist | taglist

“MJ, have you seen (Y/N)? There is not gonna be any food left if she doesn’t hurry” notices Ned, as he digs his fork into some mashed potatoes.

Peter turns towards the girl who absently draws lots of doodles on her notebook, her food half eaten already.

“Well we have an individual project to present in class in like two weeks, so yeah she told me she will do it during lunch time in the library” MJ replies not looking at the boys, the pen she holds quickly tracing lines here and there on the paper.

Peter frowns. It is not the first time you do that. Indeed, it has been going on for a few weeks now. Skipping lunch. Refusing snacks. Not finishing your food anymore. Peter doesn’t like it, as if something is not right. Ned catches the expression on his friend’s face, before he tries to relax the atmosphere by talking about what happened during Spanish lesson earlier.

But Peter’s mind is somewhere else. He will have to wait until afternoon classes to see you again and have a talk together.

* * * *

Gym class.

Peter and Ned already started the warm-up exercises in the middle of the sports hall. Peter is easily doing some sit-ups as Ned hold his friend’s knees into position, not amazed by his strength anymore.

“Oh, the girls are finally here” says Ned.

Peter stops his movements, torso still in mid air as he follows Ned’s look. And that is when he sees you.

You stand next to MJ while exiting the changing rooms, hair put into a ponytail, wearing the usual blue sweatshirt given by the school and a pair of legging with black trainers. But as Peter sensed it at lunch, something was completely wrong with you.

As you approach some other girls sitting on the rows of the gym, Peter can’t help but scans your body from where he is. The sweatshirt you wear is now completely hiding you usual features like your frame is being sucked up in it. Also the legging is almost too loose around your thighs and calves. Have your cheeks always been growing hollow?

Eventually you catch Peter’s eyes but quickly avoid them, biting your bottom lips as if hiding from him.

That’s not good.

“Um, Peter- you look weird like that, keep going before Flash makes a stupid comment” whispers Ned to his friend, knowing exactly who he was looking at.

Following Ned’s advice, Peter keeps doing sit-ups a bit faster this time, his face now showing a lot of concern.

“I’ll talk to (Y/N) before the last lesson” grumbles Peter, mouth thiner than usual.

“Yeah, you definitely have to” encourages Ned, nodding.

* * * *

After refreshing and changing into your normal clothes, you tell MJ you need to go to your locker to take some books. Your tall friend nods before saying to join her at the little outside court.

As you walk into the empty halls, the students all out to enjoy the exceptionally good spring weather in Queens during the break, you pass a corner as you fall face to face with Peter. He is actually waiting next to your locker, his eyes already on you. The eye contact makes you slightly jumps but you still keep walking towards him as usual.

“Hi Pete, you’re not outside with the others?” you shyly ask.

“I needed to talk to you, (Y/N). It’s important.”

You gulp. Peter’s face is indeed serious, his sharp look examining every single moves and expressions you make. Trying to act as casual as possible, you put your backpack down and open your locker, Peter not looking away from you.

Before closing the locker, Peter holds an apple out right to your face, startling you a little. Your eyes go back and forth to your friend and the apple he offers you, not really knowing what to do.

“I- Thank you Peter, but I’m not hungry right now-”

“(Y/N), do you intentionally skip lunches and other meals?”

You froze, panic rising into your body. You look down to avoid his eyes, no word making their way out your mouth.

You can’t say it. You didn’t want to. But in the end, Peter understood by himself.

“(Y/N), please look at me.”

This voice is soothing and at the same time, there is an ounce of sadness behind it that makes you finally turn your head to him. Your eyes then fall on the apple, still in his hand and your lips start trembling, a light sob breaking through your lips.

And right before you break in front of him, Peter embraces you in his arms, his grip strong but still delicate to keep you against him. He now feels how much you lost weight, your current undershirt and jumper doing nothing to hide it now. You can’t contain your sobbing anymore.

“Why did you not tell me about it, (Y/N)?” Peter asks softly, engulfing your head on his chest.

“I just- I- I couldn’t, I didn’t want to worry you or-”

“For God’s sake (Y/N), you know you can tell me literally anything! And seeing you right now, depraving yourself from eating and hurt makes me feel I’m the worst friend ever...”

Peter’s voice is muffled in your hair, himself not trusting his voice either as the tears slowly make their way to his waterlines.

“You can’t get back on your feet alone, you can’t fight anorexia alone. I will help you (Y/N), little by little, but I will if you allow me. I just can’t let you get any more sick. Please...”

Your sobs finally calmed down, you raise your head to meet Peter’s glance noting his own eyes glowing. Still holding you, he brings his hand up your face to wipe your tears with his thumbs. His touch is calming and soft, you feel safe in his arms, almost unstoppable.

“Please Peter, help me...” you ask, almost plead him in a whisper.

“Of course (Y/N)” he says while caressing your rosy cheek, “I will help you and always I will.”

You let out a relieved sigh.

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