#its literally like teaching a parrot to say words
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assassinhomecreedstuck · 1 year ago
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hot take but I think the people afraid of AI and robotics are the people who don't know how it works
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hyenaa-euphoria · 9 months ago
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I hhave three questions, if I may!
Does DogDay in the red giant au like, attack anything that is alive/that moves, or not? Like, if someone where to give him food would he attack them or?? Sorry if this question is dumb lol
This sorta plays into the third question, but do you have any tips on how to draw the smiling critters?
Do you have any tips making a smiling critter oc? I'm really struggling with coming up for a design for my one, she always ends up lookin plain/boring :(
HELLOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG
1 sort of…..???
He would rather snatch the food from your hand and forget about you than actually try to go after you!! It’s easy food after all!
And even if he did try attacking you, he can’t really so much, he has no strength left!
2 JUST ONE BUT YES
TEAR. BODIES.
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thats literally it. tear bodies. that how you can construct their bodies.. Play with that! Make different poses!
3 Of course! Here are some tips!!
NAMES-
Soo, i usually base my ocs on animal idioms, animal expressions, adjectives, etc. Here are some examples with meanings!!
Loan Shark
Moneylender who asks for a lot of money, usually illegally.
CashCow
Someone who makes a lot of money from a company
BusyBee
Someone who keeps themselves busy
KittyCorner
Diagonally opposite from someone or something
Sitting Duck(s)
Someone thats easy to manipulate, cheat or take advantage of
EagerBeaver
Someone who works very hard and enthusiastically
WholeHog
Do something to its fullest extent
GuineaPig
Person used as a subject for an experiment
Wild Goose (Chase)
Foolish chase for something unattainable
BlackSheep
Person who embarrasses a group for being different
One-Trick-Pony
Person with one great talent but doesn’t have much more to offer
Road Hog
Dangerous driver, someone who drives recklessly
TopDog
The most important person in a group
You can also take normal expressions that have certain words that sound like animal species! Take my oc as an example (Sir Bat-An-Eye.)
COLORS-
IF you are basing your little critter on a real animal, you could think, “Man, how do i make this little guy look more Smiling Critter-ish?”
COLORS!!
Take Bubba for example,
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He is an elephant! Elephants aren’t a bright blinding blue! Yet in a lot of cartoons they are represented this way because it is way more colorful! Sure to attract kids.
If it is an actual animal, search for some cartoon references of them! Maybe that can help!
Saturate the colors A LOT. Do you think kiddies would like an old, rusty, sad-beige-mom animal in their show??!?! Well- maybe…..🤔
But thats not the point! Make them bright! Make them pop!
Also, don’t always base them off of the animals ACTUAL colors! Give them different colors! If you want to make your alligator oc red because he lives in the depths of an erupting volcano then go ahead! If you want your parrot oc to be THE COLOR OF THE FUCKING RAINBOW then go ahead!! Who says they have to be the normal colors? Not me!
PERSONALITY AND ANIMAL CHOOSING-
Sooo… if you wanna be very picky like me.. then choose animals by how they would act in a society!
A hyena wouldn’t be nice! They would make fun of people, they would be rude!
A gazelle would be shy! They wouldn’t get their kicks from fighting!
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That kinda what i mean🤔
If you want an elegant Critter, look for animals that often represent elegance, like peacocks!!
WHAT THEY DO.
What would they do if they were caretakers in PlayCare? A therapist? A janitor? What do they teach? Think about that and maybe that will help you with their necklaces!!
If you need more help, ask away :p!!
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vvatchword · 6 months ago
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I have been thinking about this a lot lately.
Tech Bros without an ounce of art in their bodies assume that art is "just" a pencil on a page, just a line on a screen. To a Tech Bro, art is all mechanical in the same way that programming a machine is mechanical. What they completely miss--because the last time they read for fun was when they were six--was that art is how we explain how it feels to be alive. The way our art feels and appears and functions is a way to explain our experiences in the world as human beings. This is how we communicate with others about our unique experiences. This is how we feel less alone, educate others, and play.
The Tech Bro does not care about loneliness, education, or pleasure for the sake of pleasure. He divorces art from its human underpinnings. Human experience isn't terribly important to him.
See, there are different forms of intelligence, and I suspect that the Tech Bro lacks interpersonal intelligence. All he understands is his own experience, and he expects everyone else experiences life the same way he does. Long story short, he has the empathy of a fuckin' rock. He is blind and because he lacks the organs necessary, he doesn't even know it. How can he value what he cannot detect?
No one is exempt from this kind of blindness, coincidentally: we are all capable of having weaknesses like this, and I believe we are each better and worse at some forms of intelligence than others. That's where art comes in: it can make me feel as someone totally alien to myself feels. It can teach me about huge swathes of human experience and social interactions that I will never have. It's been my experience that feeling is a lot stronger than logic. And art is nothing if not a mechanism for helping us FEEL.
Unfortunately for AI, all it can do is approximate human responses: it is not actually human, it does not have human experiences, and it doesn't understand the human experiences it's been fed. It hasn't been BUILT to understand that. It has no insights. It is incapable of rumination. It has no concept of morality or emotion or social expression or history. It doesn't really know what it's saying or why it's saying it, it just knows what passes for correct to most people in the moment. Its answers are inevitably yes/no, true/false: the equivalent of a very needy dog trying to figure out how to please a fickle master at any cost.
And then there's the limitation with even short-form works. AI can't carry a theme for two inquiries in a row, much less for 50,000 words. It doesn't remember. It can't. It's just meant to parrot what a human might conceivably say, or at least, sound as such, and it only exists in the present.
Then there's tone and style. AI favors particular styles and voices. AI has the same vanilla voice and safe subject matter and prefers the diction and experiences of a privileged few. Subject, verb, object. Over and over again. It's inevitably safe and milquetoast.
Safety is literally the death knell of any piece of meaningful art.
You aren't going to get the first part of The Bone Clocks with its interpretation of 80s pop music bouncing and hopping across the page. You aren't going to get the Biblical slog of HP Lovecraft. You aren't going to get the Bible. You aren't going to see the tender explication of the Black experience like Langston Hughes can deliver it. Hell, you aren't going to get the rhythm of poetry in all its shapes and forms; a lot of that is derived from how our language is spoken, and AI has no feeling for that. It must adhere to a very strict set of rules, and it is a million viewpoints distilled into a basic gray sludge. It is a safe corporate voice.
And for this alone it should be burned at the fucking stake.
"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick
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charming-2d-boys · 4 years ago
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I'm so happy to hear you write for female characters. Could you do some headcanons for Paku, Machi, and Shizuku in a relationship with a female reader? >:3
Of course! I honestly can't wait to write for so many characters and try understanding them better, so thank you for this opportunity! 🙇
Man, Shizuku is so hard for me to understand... And I thought Illumi would pose a challenge for me...
Also, very, very long, you’ve been warned!
I hope you'll like these! ❤️
Pakunoda
you’ve definitely met somewhere on the street when you stopped walking to pet a cat and to your surprise, it actually started rubbing against you and purring loudly
yeah, enjoy this chance
how many cats that you stopped to pet either came to you or let you pet them for a long time?
so when you hear a meow and the cat stops and goes towards the sound, you’re disappointed because you wanted to pet it some more
you probably thought it was another cat that meowed, but surprise! It’s Pakunoda, who smiles as the cat hurries to her and rubs against her legs
she feels your eyes on her and sees your pout because the cat just... up and left you with your hand in mid air and it’s not fair how some people attract them so easily
Pakunoda will think you’re so cute so she beckons you with her hand, telling you that you can still pet it
if she stays, the cat stays and it loves the attention you both give her
you offer the cat the remaining bit of sandwich that you had prepared that morning and didn’t get to eat
it purrs happily as it eats and then looks up at you and Pakunoda expectantly, probably wanting some more
I’m sorry, little guy, that’s all I had left
it just meows before bumping its head against your hand and then going back to rubbing against Pakunoda’s legs
you sigh because it doesn’t look as if it’s going to come back to you and you get up, ready to leave
but Pakunoda gently grabs your wrist, stopping you
Don’t be upset, this little guy is a little glutton. Aren’t you, hm?
she says as she scratches the cat behind its ear, making it meow and purr in satisfaction
when you tell her that you really like cats and feel relaxed around them, she suggests you go to a nearby cat café that she sometimes frequents when she’s in town
it’s a pretty sudden request and you’re a bit hesitant, but when she introduces herself and you do as well... you decide to give this a shot
Pakunoda seems harmless enough and no one who likes animals that much can be such a bad person, right?
the whole day is spent playing with and petting the cats while talking with Pakunoda about yourselves
she really does seem like someone you could probably get along with very well
she’s beautiful and has got a nice personality and you love the way she talks, it’s like music to your ears
Pakunoda seems to think pretty much the same thing about you
you seem to be different from other people and you’re so friendly, kind and funny that she almost wonders how she hasn’t seen you around before
you'd been swamped before with work and/or classes and just now had a day off when you decided to go out and get some fresh air after being cooped up with all those papers and documents
so you wonder if Pakunoda will be in town for a bit longer so you can hang out again
and when she asks you if you want to meet up again in a couple of days, you're immediately smiling and telling her that you can't wait
you two start frequenting pretty much every cat café that the city has to offer, and when you’ve been to all of them at least a few times, start looking after other cafés where you can see other types of animals: dogs, parrots, hedgehogs, owls etc.
you always end up spending entire days in those places, always talking and always having fun
one such night, after leaving another cat café that you managed to find hidden somewhere between some tall and narrow buildings in an alleyway, you’re both walking on the street, just getting ready to go your own separate ways
Pakunoda stops you as you’re ready to cross the street and you look up at her questioningly
you can barely see it, but her cheeks and the tops of her ears have a very faint pink tint to them
you were so curious as to why she stopped you that when you opened your mouth to ask, Pakunoda quickly asked you out... on an actual date
the surprise quickly faded before you happily agreed, making Pakunoda’s shoulders sag in relief
she insists on walking you home that night and of course, you let her, just to spend some more time together
after that, things get progressively more intimate and romantic
Pakunoda often comes over to your place and you two often cook together
she loves teaching you new recipes
when you decide to surprise her by cooking something for when she comes home late one night, she hugs you really tight and thanks you for being there
always gives you a hug and a kiss when she comes over to your place
she’d love to introduce you to the others if you were to accept her as who she is fully
Pakunoda often cuddles with you when you’re both done with everything for the day
whether you’re on the couch or on the bed, she’ll often pull your head on her chest and play with your hair
you always giggle when you tell her you love her and feel her heart beat faster
arguments? pretty much none
Pakunoda is not really the confrontational type and you just... easily discuss whatever might come up between you two
you’ll definitely get a cat and take care of it, maybe even the cat that brought you two together, who knows?
you always reassure her that she’ll have a place to come to and call home, even when she tells you that you don’t need to tell he because she’s fine
Pakunoda definitely appreciates it, though, because she’s always dreamt of having somewhere and someone to come home to
Machi
you were frantically looking for a really old book at the local library because you were so close to finishing your paper
and this book would be one of the last ones you needed to use and then you’d finally be done
the old librarian was currently helping someone else so you started going in-between bookcases, searching by yourself
and there it was!
on a shelf barely out of reach
you started jumping, trying to grab it by the spine, when you finally managed to pull it out a bit from the other dusty, old books
just a bit more and you’d finally get it-
whoosh
there goes the book
you just blink because... what the hell was that? where did it go?
you look to where the book was, still seeing specks of dust flying around, before looking to the ground
nothing
and when you look to your right, you see a small girl with pink hair and... shinobi clothes?
she holds several books in her hands and is quickly walking away
 Hey! Excuse me, I need that!
you’re almost yelling because you’re so close, you can’t have someone else take the book, the due date is in two days!
when she turns around, you’re left speechless
she’s adorable looking and even that serious look on her face almost looks like a pout to you
she’s looking at you expectantly, as if waiting for you to just say what you have to say so she can leave
I need that book... *hard stare*
For my paper... *hard stare*
That’s due in two days... *hard stare*
Please?
...
she sighs as if it’s a great effort and takes it out of the little pile in her arms, handing it out to you h she’ll tell Chrollo that she couldn’t find the book and that she’ll go and look for it in the coming days
and as she turns around to leave, you actually say a loud wait! that attracts several glares and a few shushes
you quickly apologize before jogging up to her to introduce yourself and tell her that if she still wants it, you can meet up with her here and give the book to her
she still stares at you, a bit of apprehension readable in her eyes, before telling you her name is Machi and that we’ll see before leaving
it didn’t even occur to you that she literally picked up the books and walked out with them without even stopping by the checkout desk
that night, you read and used to book as fast as you could so you could finish writing up your paper
and the next day you were waiting at a nearby table in the library, trying not to fidget so much because you had already been waiting for an hour and there was no sign of the pink-haired girl yet
you felt a little tug on your hand and shook it a bit, thinking it’d gone numb from how you were staying
only that you felt the same tug again, only stronger, and you looked up when you felt as if you were pulled by an invisible force, only to see the girl from the day before
you finally got up and walked to where she was, between bookcases, before taking the book out of your bag and handing it to her
she took it without a word and it almost seemed as if she was going to turn around and leave, but you stopped her and asked her what her name was, before introducing yourself
Machi
it was a cute name and apparently, your mouth was faster than your brain because you saw her blue eyes widen and a bit of redness cover her cheeks before she looked to the side, avoiding your eyes
why you felt the need to ask her to hang out if she had time was beyond you, but it was too late to take your words back
only that then you thought how rude and weird that sounded and started fretting over how to apologise and explain yourself, but to your surprise, Machi accepted (she was surprised that you had the courage to ask her as you didn’t really seem to have it in you, but apparently, she was wrong)
it was a simple hang out as friends situation
you actually did most of the talking, with Machi contributing only a little bit
you actually felt a bit upset, thinking that you’re bothering her or boring her
but when you stopped talking and apologized for talking, she only told you to keep talking because she enjoys what you were saying
she wasn’t going to tell you that she loves how enthusiastic you look when you talk about something you like or that it’s funny how much you gesticulate or what a good storyteller you are
and it was actually fun hanging out with you
Machi had a good feeling about you and because she trusted her intuition, she surprised you when she asked if you could see each other again
let’s just say that the relationship between you two’s been getting better the more you saw each other
Machi’s made it a habit of bringing you flowers from time to time
and you do the same because you like that little blush on her face when she receives them and thanks you quietly
loves hugging you and breathing in your scent whenever you see each other
she thinks that she could see you as her home
Chrollo and Pakunoda will definitely notice a positive change in Machi’s attitude, as much as she tries to hide it
when she tells them about you, they slowly become your biggest supporters
Chrollo will want to meet you at one point, just to assess you and your intentions with Machi
he almost seems like an older, protective brother and it’s adorable
when he’ll tell her that you’re a good girl and that he hopes you’ll be happy together, you can’t stop smiling
and honestly, neither can Machi - although her smile is smaller, it’s still there
loves it when you wake up after her and come into the bathroom, only to hug her from behind while you greet her sleepily
for your birthday, she’ll cook you something that she learnt as a kid in Meteor City
when you tell her you love her for the first time, she’ll hug you reeeeeally tight and whisper it back, telling you that she’ll always protect you
on your first year anniversary, you’ll take her to the beach and spend the day together playing in the water, volleyball and eating ice-cream, while at night, you’ll go to a restaurant and order whatever the two of you want and then walk on the beach while holding hands
you will insist on taking photos of the two of you and even ask others to do it for you
Machi will take one of those photos that she liked the best - the one where she put a bit of ice-cream on your nose and your face was confused and adorable - and keep it in her wallet or in a special little compartment underneath her pincushion
always looks at it when she misses you or can’t call or text you
no one tells her that she smiles every time she looks at that photo of you
Shizuku
Shizuku is... forgetful, to put it nicely
so when she dropped her phone and you saw it, you hurried to give it back to her
only that you were pretty much blocked off by two men, one very tall, with scars on his face and huge hands and another one who was really short and had half of his face covered by a bandana with a... skull?
you’re intimidated enough that when the shorter man asks you what you want while glaring at you, you can only show them the phone
a short and monotone oh from the girl is what makes the two men move out of her way as she comes and takes the phone from you before thanking you
you can only nod before you both stare at each other for maybe a second or two
the little cough you hear from the larger man makes you both end your staring contest and stare at him instead
We have to go he says plainly as they all turn and start walking away from you
you can only stare at them, feeling a bit confused
and, as if feeling your gaze, but not really caring, only Shizuku turns around, curious about why she can still feel your eyes on her
and you just wave at her, because you don’t know what else to do when she’s staring at you like that
you keep seeing her from time to time in different places, usually really crowded ones, along with the two men from before, still flanking her on both sides
you always wave and smile at her whenever she looks at you - she always finds you even in the biggest of crowds
Shizuku can’t really remember you all the times and while the other two always tell her that yes, we’ve seen her before and no, we don’t know her name, she sometimes wishes she remembered you and know why you always wave and smile at her when you see her
you’re acting as if you know each other
so, one day, after you do what you always do, she tells the Franklin and Feitan that she’s going to talk with you
they don’t try to stop her, but they are ready to defend her if anything were to happen
when Shizuku does finally ask you why you smile and wave at her, you just tell her that you thought she was really pretty and wanted to get to know her, but her two friends kind of scare you and you didn’t want to trouble them, since they always seem to be in a hurry or on an errand or something
when she only tilts her head a bit, as if still confused, you smile and ask her what her name is, then introduce yourself
looks like you’ll have to be the bold one today
you ask her out, as friends, just because you’re curious about her and want to get to know her
if she wants to, of course
Shizuku is still a bit confused by the sudden turn of events and almost feels herself drift away before she says yes
and just in time, because her two intimidating friends come and tell her that they have to leave, while looking at you apprehensively because, well... you’re a bit of a pretty, weird little girl, aren’t you?
still, all three of them leave and when Franklin finally asks Shizuku what you’d talked about, she finally told them
well, that was... unexpected, to say the least
you were definitely weird - but so were they, so they had no right to judge, right?
he asked her if she planned on going and she said yes
they had nothing important to do for the next few days that would follow, so it would be okay to take some time off
Shizuku does have to be reminded several times about her promise and you, mostly by Franklin, since Feitan couldn’t really care any less
your hangout is fun, at least you think it is
Shizuku is pretty... calm and doesn’t really show much, if any emotions
but at the end of the day she does say that she had fun and that you’re cute when you’re happy
so you ask her if she’d like to do this again some other time
and when she accepts, you exchange numbers
you go out several times and you feel like you’re getting closer to Shizuku, both emotionally and physically
and when you shyly hold onto her hand during one of those times, you almost deflate when she doesn’t really squeeze back or let go and just glances at you
pretty much ready to let go of her hand and abruptly end this hangout and leave before you embarrass yourself any more, you’re taken by surprise when your hand is finally squeezed back before Shizuku laces your fingers together
you almost loudly sigh in relief and find yourself talking again, about whatever just comes to your mind, happy and just filled with a newfound energy, while Shizuku quietly listens to you and feels herself absorbed into this little bubble of joy you created and trapped her in
the next few months see the two of you getting closer and opening up more
she’s quiet for the most part and even appears cold, especially to others who don’t know her
but behind closed doors, she just loves having you in her arms, either watching TV, cooking, sleeping, washing the dishes etc.
plays cards with you and almost always lets you win because she likes your smile more than your pout - even though you’re cute no matter what
the others are dying to meet you when they see Shizuku meeting up with them and wearing a shirt that’s definitely not hers
oh, I took (Y/N)’s shirt again
yep, they really wanna meet you
they all treat you nicely and Shizuku holds your hand throughout the entire meeting
which they think it’s adorable because they can actually feel that Shizuku is happy
she loves giving you massages, especially when she sees that you’re really tired
will sometimes forget to do chores, but she does write them down somewhere or has you remind her
whenever you two can, you really like going window shopping
she could steal everything for you, you know?
just say the word and it’s all yours
writes down on her hand and wherever else she can so she can remember your birthday and anniversaries
you surprise her by baking her a cake from scratch for her birthday
and Shizuku’s even happier when you bake another one so she can celebrate it with her friends as well - she insists on you joining them and actually have a lot of fun listening to them tell funny stories about Shizuku and what her memory problems did (nothing too bad and that everyone remembers fondly)
will take you on the rooftop of the building and stargaze with you
also tells you she loves you because she really does
you definitely proved that you loved her, so it’s only fair she returns the favour
loves kissing you under the stars and it’s one of the few memories that Shizuku actually remembers and holds onto dearly
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theramseyloft · 5 years ago
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Cognition and Sociology Research
When I was raising doves I found some research papers about pigeons categorizing things and learning the equivalent of words the way human children do.
At the time, I just thought it was neat. 
But when we got the most pitiful pigeon I have ever seen into wildlife rehab (I'm their columbid specialist), 
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I built off of that research and started talking to him, like you would a nonverbal three year old. 
 Entirely on his own, he started alerting me for anxiety attacks, and even worked out how to bring me down from bad ones if he couldn't warn me fast enough. 
He knew I was diabetic before I did, and also started alerting me for blood sugar spikes all on his own.
I'm an autistic woman with ADHD, PTSD, and pretty severe social anxiety.
My two biggest fears in public are anxiety attacks and over-stimulation.
Those of you with mental illness are aware that panic attacks and anxiety attacks are two different things.
A panic attack is a sudden reaction to a specific stimulus. 
 An anxiety attack is more of a straw that broke the camels back after a prolonged build up of stressors. 
From my perspective, they feel exactly the same.
Because I am not aware of the build up of stress until I have that last straw moment, an anxiety attack can hit me out of nowhere, for absolutely no reason I am capable of discerning in the moment.
It makes going anywhere alone absolutely terrifying because I have no way of knowing when or if or even why I may suddenly have an anxiety attack.
Under enough duress, I can’t function.  Like my brain just shorts out.
I get hit with a wave of exhaustion. All the energy drains out through the soles of my feet, and I'm just.. so deeply tired I could just crumple up where I stand. 
Blood sugar spikes feel, to me, exactly like that stressed out shut down.
Ankhou can read that build up, and differentiate between anxiety, blood sugar, and just plain physically tired.
If I am actually just tired, Ankhou will wait for me to get comfortable, snuggle in with me, and join the nap.
When he becomes aware that I'm approaching the degree of stressed that preceeds an anxiety attack, he gets on my shoulder or in my lap and leans against my cheek or preens my hand: Letting me know I need to relax and providing me a soft stim to relax come down with.
If he stands on my chest and stretches to be eye level, that't my warning that I need to immediately find a place to sit down and pet him to prevent myself from shutting down entirely.
If he has not gotten to me soon enough and I am fully shut down, he gets in my lap and gently preens the underside of my forearm until I respond to stroke him.
If I'm having a blood sugar spike, he will do absolutely anything in his power to prevent me from falling asleep! He'll start by preening and nudging my hands to pet him. If I don’t respond, he bites my fingers. 
If I don’t respond to that, he bites the back of my hand. Then the soft tender bit between my fingers, then my inner elbow, then my ear, then my cheek... 
And then if absolutely nothing else will rouse me, he will bite my eyelid.
If absolutely nothing will get me to respond, he'll find who ever else is in the house and throw himself at their office or room door until they come check on me.
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And I got to thinking: If a feral literally off the street would do that on his own...
What would happen if I selectively bred the birds most comfortable around and interested in people? 
And gave them very basic training? Like responding to their name, loading eagerly into a carrier, comfortably wearing a harness, responding to a few simple commands like Step up...
At the time, I was raising show pigeons.
And one of the highest criteria for working with a breed was its tractability and docility.
So I already had this collection of the breeds that were easiest to handle, most physically fit, with the best parents instincts like tight setting of eggs and chicks and excellent feeding responses...
Letting them blend would mean I wouldn’t have to keep pairs penned anymore!
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So I laid out sand on the floor to make cleaning easier, got them nest boxes and stacked them to the wall.
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Got them shelves with hardware cloth supporting comfy rubber mats I could take out and hose off.
And let them pair up as they would.
I have a cap of 10 mature breeding pairs. 
 When a keeper baby hits 6 months, the adult of the same sex that is either least healthy, least friendly, or has the worst parenting record gets retired and adopted to their permanent home as a pet.
That's the only influencing I have over pairings. 
 The birds can otherwise do and bond as they please. 
 Babies who do not enjoy any aspect of the training program are not forced to continue. I just mark them as pet instead of potential therapy bird.
I record everything they do. 
 Who they pair with, how well they parented the babies, how the babies developed, who wants to sit with me, under what circumstance. 
 How treat motivated are they? 
How much and where do they like to be petted? 
How keen are they to sit with me with no treat reward vs. treat time? 
 Upon reaching maturity, does any of that change? 
 Pigeons are a very unusual sort of social among the columbidae. 
 Most other birds,  including the vast majority of dove and pigeon species, see fully self feeding fledgelings as new competition for resources and drive them out of their territory. 
 They can feed off a rich ground together, but only watch out for and cooperate with their current mate. They do not seek out other birds’ company, they just happen to be in the same place at the same time.
 Rock doves and their domesticated descendants' flocks are strikingly human like extended families.
Parents, grandkin, aunts, uncles, children, cousins, grand children: all live together year round in a nesting site that functions kinda like a human tribe or village.
Babies only ever leave the flock to start a new one when there are not enough resources to support the number of birds.
When they fledge and leave the nest, their dad takes over the bulk of their care. He feeds them, shows them where to find food, water, and nest material, and teaches them how to integrate into pigeon society.
When to be assertive so they don’t get crowded out and can get what they need, and when to defer to the status of an older, bigger bird to avoid being injured in a fight.
The rest of the flock will usually haze a peep the first day it's down: Basically each taking heir turn to assert "I'm older and bigger, and I out rank you." Knowing where they are in the chain of command makes things like coordinating flock foraging parties around avoiding predators and navigating changing weather conditions go smoothly when it's time to venture forth from the nesting grounds.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/06/150609213053.htm
Pigeon society is democratic. 
 Every fully fledged bird has a say in where they go and what they do on missions. 
 The individual that knows the best places to find food, water, or nest material will lead the mission out to get that thing, and the bird who is best at navigating leads the foraging party back home afterwards.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/04/100416214045.htm
Pigeon flocks are a meritocracy. 
 A mission leader earns that status by actually being the best at that specific task, and if some one else gets better at it, the flock will follow that bird instead.
https://www.audubon.org/news/in-homing-pigeon-flocks-bad-bosses-quickly-get-demoted
This one isn’t pigeon specific, but pigeons are SUPER communicative, and it would not surprise me to find that this applies to pigeon peeps as well. 
https://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/stories/baby-birds-communicate-eggs-hatch?fbclid=IwAR39CYrHAfFM6nAP8Rq3TvOox1p5vcb3Z87xqjPoiYNCwMoRvuQaWCeSFjs
 Maybe less because their parents sit on them constantly, but I have seen evidence for peeps hatching with anxiety during a stressful time for the flock. 
Pigeons, like baboons, are capable of higher level cognition.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/02/090212141143.htm
In fact, their brains are wired a lot like ours!
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/07/130717095336.htm
Facial recognition is as important to them as it is to us, and it functions the same way ours does.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/07/130717095336.htm
Like corvids, and unlike most parrots, pigeons recognize themselves in mirrors.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/06/080613145535.htm
I have seen evidence that they can differentiate a mirror from a photo and a video, and can recognize themselves in a video with significant delay.
This degree of self awareness is why their name is the first concrete thing my babies learn.
When a baby reaches a week of age, it gets a name and observes the older birds at treat time in my lap. 
 I greet each individual by name and give them a safflower seed held between thumb and forefinger. (Making my hand look more bird head shaped than the usual talon or snake head shape that hands present to birds on an instinctive level) 
 There are often individuals in a flock who will feed any peep that toddles up and begs. By doing treat time this way, I take on this "auntie" roll for my flock and emulate the comfort of being fed by a big, protective parent. 
 When the baby starts to peck and beg me for seeds, I greet it by name and pop a safflower seed into its mouth just like the adults. 
 That baby learns that its name specifies that I am addressing it, and no other bird, and associates being addressed by name with getting something good. 
The end result is a baby who knows and eagerly responds to their name.
The information in these three studies: 
proving that pigeons categorize like we do https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/04/140402095107.htm
They learn the equivalent of words the way human children do https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/02/150204184447.htm
And pattern map with enough nuance to differentiate a word from an acronym the same number of letters. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/09/160919111535.htm
 was the basis of my linguistic training with Ankhou. 
 Language is a pattern of matching words to objects, places, individuals, actions, and concepts. 
 Pigeons are communicative, social learning pattern mappers, already wired to map the pattern of language by the same mechanic as a human toddler. 
 My job is to feed Ankhou the pattern by which humans vocally communicate and let him do with it what pigeons do best. 
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/12/171204144805.htm
Pigeons understand abstracts like time and space.
Ankhou understands the abstract concepts of choice and consent, and is capable of giving me a clear yes or no answer.
And the exciting thing is that he isn’t special in that regard. 
 All pigeons are wired to learn language this way, and with patience and consistence, any of them at any age can be taught. 
 It's just easiest for babies who were raised with it.
Pigeon society is close enough to a big, extended human family that an individual pigeon can integrate easily into a human flock.
The more easily they can communicate with us and we can with them, the more easily they can integrate and the closer bonds they can form with their partner.
So the bulk of our research here at The Ramsey Loft is centered around decoding pigeon communication, pushing to see how much of ours they can be taught, what environment and methods are most conducive to teaching them, how big a part genetics play, and how accurately those traits can be selected for.
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archonssun · 4 years ago
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Kiss Bang
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Kiss Bang
August 20, 2020
WC: 1964
-----
When you fell asleep on the gunner, his face had immediately flushed a violent crimson. No matter how much time had passed since you and Prompto got together, the blind always reacted this way when surrounded by the others. Noctis had been the first to notice, a sly smirk alighting on his lips. He had known of his best friend's feelings for you since he and Prompto had met you in high school.
***
It had been their last year of high school, and they were hanging out in the arcade they frequented. Prompto was watching Noct try his hand at one of the shooter games, the blond smirking as the prince fumble terribly.
"C'mon, Noct, just admit it," Prompto smiled, clasping his friend's shoulder. "You're just not good at shooter games."
"Like hell I'll ever admit that," the prince grumbled. He was about to give it another go when you showed up. Both he and Prompto could only watch in awe as you decimated the pixelated enemies, far surpassing even Prompto's score. When you finished, you had taken the top spot on the leaderboard with a small smirk. As you turned, Prompto caught sight of your eyes. They were breathtaking. Literally, he forgot to breathe.
"Dude, you're turning purple," Noct muttered, and Prompto inhaled deeply -- too deep, because he started coughing. Your (e/c) hues turned to him, concern evident in your gaze as you watched the blond struggle to breathe. You vaguely remember seeing him around school, but couldn't for the life of you remember what his name was -- or if you actually knew it.
"Hey, are you okay?" you asked, placing a hand on the blond's shoulder. His blue-violet eyes clashed with your own, making you inhale sharply.
Bang.
"Ye-yeah," Prompto stumbled, hurrying to stand straight and giving you a shy smile. "I-I'm fine, thanks."
***
You couldn't get the blond boy out of your head. He was beautiful: the freckles that painted his cheeks and nose, that gentle smile he had given you. And, fuck, his eyes. They were the most intense color you had ever seen, a sea of blue encased in violet. You were sure that no human being could possess eyes like his, and yet--
"(Y/n)!" your friend yelled, snapping you out of your reverie. Your head snapped up, looking them in the eyes. They had a small frown on their face. "You okay? You've been acting weird ever since you talked to that blond..."
"Yeah, I'm fine," you reassured them, taking a sip from your soda. Your friend watched you skeptically, but you paid them no mind -- your brain was filled with thoughts of the blond, and only him. Why hadn't I talked to him before? Had I just never noticed him? No, I clearly remember seeing him in the halls at school... so why--
Again, you were pulled from your thoughts by your friend's voice, dragging you into a conversation. So engrossed talking with your friend, you didn't notice a certain blond watching you.
"Prompto, stop staring. It's creepy..." Noct mumbled, the prince trying the shooter game again. Prompto's blond brows furrowed at his friend's choice of words, yet he didn't stop. Blue-violet orbs looked at the uniform you wore, and Prompto frowned. You went to his school, so why hadn't he seen you before? You looked to be about the same age as him and Noct, but he couldn't be certain.
The more he watched you talk with your friend, the more Prompto wanted to get to know you. You had overtaken him in his best game, beating out his score several times over. That wasn't just luck -- you had undeniable skill with guns. But he couldn't help but wonder if that was all you were skilled with.
Even days later, Prompto was on the lookout for you at school, and as the weekend rolled around he couldn't help but feel a certain pang of disappointment. The longer he went without seeing you -- without talking with you -- the lesser his chances felt to even approach you.
"I just don't get it, Noct," the blond whined, trailing after the prince. "She was wearing our uniform, but I haven't seen her at all."
"What's blondie on about?" Gladio grumbled, joining the two boys.
"A girl he met at the arcade," Noct answered plainly.
"Not just any girl!" Prompto defended. "She was awesome! Noct, you saw the way she used guns! You can't tell me it wasn't amazing!"
"Guns?" That had piqued Gladio's interest, amber eyes turning to the blond. "What did she look like?"
"Why?" Prompt asked slowly, his eyes narrowing.
"Because now I'm curious," Gladio snorted. He stretched his arms over his head, closing his eyes for the briefest of seconds. "Besides, the Guard just got a new recruit, around your guys' age. She's pretty handy with guns, too. So, tell me: what did she look like?"
"She had (e/c) eyes and (h/c) hair, and was about this tall," Prompto began, lifting his hand up to his shoulder. A smile was quick to split his face. "Man, you should've seen her! She was amazing, Gladio!"
"(E/c) and (h/c), huh?" the Shield muttered, hand lifting to rest on his chin. "Sounds like (Y/n) -- the new recruit I was telling you about."
(Y/n). Prompto let the name roll around in his mind before a smile came to his face.
"You think we'll get to meet her today?" Prompto blurted out, his face growing hot when he realized what he had said. Gladio let out a hearty laugh at the expression on the blond's face.
"Yeah. She's training with us today."
***
"Whoa." Prompto had to agree with Noct. Never in a million years did he think he'd see someone so comfortable with firearms, yet (Y/n) used them as if they were extensions of your own body. You were quick, too; never wasting a single second as you demonstrated for the others trainees. Your body was firm in its position as you fired, moving nary a centimeter from the gun's recoil.
Prompto’s tongue was nearly hanging out of his mouth as he watched you. It wouldn’t be an understatement to say the blond was awestruck.
“Noct! Noct!” he whispered, tugging at the back of the prince’s shirt. He heard Noct snort, but he turned to watch you regardless. Yes, the prince had seen you utterly kill it at the arcade game, but watching you use live firearms -- it made Noct uneasy. The way you moved, the way you carried yourself made it seem like you were born to fight.
When training had wrapped up, Prompto found the courage to approach you. You were maintaining your gun.
“He-hey,” Prompto stuttered, and you turned to face him. When your eyes met his, you nearly dropped your gun, not expecting to see the blond again -- least of all here.
“Hey,” you replied quietly, your eyes straying to look at the table. Prompto noticed this, and a small frown alighted on his features for a split second.
“I’m Prompto,” he smiled, hand outstretched. You only saw it because you had dared to look back at him. You hesitated for a moment before clasping his hand in your own.
“I’m (Y/n).”
“I know.” Your raised brow had Prompto trying to backtrack. “I-I mean -- Gladio, he--”
“I guess he told you, then,” you grinned. “That man has got to learn how to keep his mouth shut.”
“Sorry…”
“Not your fault,” you shook your head, taking your hand back and finishing with your firearm. It reminded Prompto why he had approached you in the first place.
“Hey, I was wondering,” he began, eyes shifting to look to his right. His hand came to rest at his nape, a slight flush painting his face and ears. He was silent for a few moments before his blue-violet eyes flicked back to meet yours. “Could you teach me?”
“Teach you?” you parroted. You had seen him during training; he didn’t need help with firearms.
“Yeah, teach me.” His lips pulled up in a brilliant smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Why me?”
“‘Cuz you’re the best gunner I know.”
Bang.
***
Your (e/c) eyes opened slowly, a slight smile on your lips when they were met with blond hair. Carefully, you sat up. It was rare that you woke before Prompto, and you intended to capitalize on it. A hand went to run through his hair, and you bit a knuckle of your free hand to keep from laughing. Prompto had let out a purr-like sound when you had touched his hair. His arms wrapped tighter around your waist, nose burying itself in your stomach.
“Need some help there?” Gladio smirked, but you shook your head.
“He needs to get some rest,” you whispered, smile turning gentle as you watched the blond. “He’s been pushing himself too hard lately.”
“That’s so he can keep up with you,” Gladio snorted, and you pouted at the man before looking down at Prompto. You had known the blond for three years now. When he had asked you to teach him, you had been skeptical at first. You didn’t think you could teach him all that much; he had already been one of the best gunmen you had seen, even at seventeen. Fairly quickly, it had turned into you being the one taught.
“He doesn’t have to worry about that,” you pout. You ran your hand through the blond strands again. “He’s already far out of my league, in many ways.”
***
After you had spoken with Gladio, you watched Prompto progress at an unnatural pace. He was a prodigy with firearms, you knew this, but you couldn’t help the pang of jealousy that struck your breast. It was there for not a moment before it was gone, leaving guilt in its place.
It had become a struggle to keep up with him, now. He was above and beyond what you could ever hope to be, at least in your lifetime. No matter how hard you tried, all you saw was his back as he kept going forward.
“Babe, you okay?” Prompto’s voice startled you, making your head snap up from where it rested on your knees.
“I’m fine, Live Wire,” you cooed. “Just a bit tired.”
“Then come on,” he grinned, grabbing your hand and pulling you to your feet. He laced your fingers with his, his smile turning from blinding to soft -- filled with love and adoration -- and pulled you into the tent. Your own smile graced your lips as you followed after the blond. He took up his spot between Gladio’s sleeping bag and Ignis’s, pulling you down with him.
Prompto’s arms wound around your waist, pulling you into his chest. His lips resting against your forehead, you could feel the smile that had yet to disappear.
Kiss.
“I love you, (Y/n),” he muttered, pressing kisses to your temples.
“I love you, too, Live Wire,” you giggled. The hands at your back disconnected, one going to your hand. His fingers, woven with yours once more, gave your hand a light squeeze. Suddenly, your eyes were met with seas of indigo, Prompto touching his nose to yours.
“My little dead-eye,” the blond cooed.
Bang.
“Fuck, why’re you so cute, dammit?!” you pouted. Prompto’s laugh encased you as he pulled you to his chest. You smiled against him, the vibrations of his chest eased your mind; there was no reason to feel envy towards the blond. You had both trained long and hard for the Crownsguard, and not once had he thought himself superior to you. You snuggled against his chest, “Thank you, Prompto.”
“Anytime, babe.”
-----
Let me know if you wanna be added to the tag list!
Tag List: @katerleegrand, @orgawnas, @kirahhhh, @naisitaable​, @kenkopanda​, @blossattic​, @gladiosamicitias​
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mementomori-demimonde · 4 years ago
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Hidden Scars
I - II - III - IV
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Chapter 5
You blink rapidly at the string of codes you’re trying to memorize from the book. It’s been over four hours now and nothing makes sense anymore. For as much as you loathe to admit it, the days where she decides that physical training is needed are much more entertaining than the ones in which she places a volume in your lap and tells you to study and train your brain, instead.
Today has been one of those days and you’re almost bored out of your mind.
So when you hear footsteps approaching, you already know what that means - the digital clock above the shelf only confirms your supposition - and a sense of relief starts to spread through your tired body.
“Enough.” Miranda whispers.
You manage to not expose your eagerness by pretending you’re just obeying her order, and you gladly close the book producing a loud, and utterly satisfying thump.
When you look up, she offers you the usual evening drink. You know you can’t refuse it, so to obediently take it from her hand and gulp it down in one go.
Immediately, the liquor burns your throat and your tongue goes numb for a second while the dizziness settles in your head.
You close your eyes, barely registering Miranda snatching the empty glass from your hand to put it on the coffee table, and you begin to rub at your temples slowly - you’ve noticed it helps with the throbbing a couple of mysterious mixes ago, and there’s no harm in trying.
Leaning on the couch, you throw your head back and rest it on the cushion, hypnotized by the dozens of dancing colorful dots swirling behind your eyelids.
You still when you feel the book being pushed off from your lap, and its almost inconsistent weight being replaced by a much more significant one.
When you trust your head to have stopped spinning and you deem the nausea almost extinguished - or at least unable to cause any damage - you dare to peer down. Two bright, predator blue eyes are peering up from your lap, bare teeth flashing at you with a playful yet dangerous smirk.
You would smile at her for the intimacy of the situation, you would even dare to touch her hair and marvel at the apparent calmness of her, right now, but you know better to do either of those things: Miranda is like a cat. She might look like she’s demanding pets and cuddles one minute - simply because she feels like it - only to slash at your flesh with rogue claws and sharp teeth the next - simply for the sake of it - and quite literally too.
Exhaling heavily from your nostrils, you loll your head back and let your eyelids flutter close again, throwing your arm over your face and hiding in the inside of your bent elbow.
“Miranda, what are we doing?” You didn’t mean to sound so whining, but you did. Knowing how she usually reacts to it, you’re painfully aware you’ve probably made her mad already, so you don’t dare to move your arm and see the expression on her face.
“About what?” She inquires, her voice emotionless.
“I don’t know.” You scoff. “About this, perhaps.” Blindly, you reach down your thigh and retrieve your knife. It’s yours by now and fits perfectly in your hand, it’s been a while since you’ve learned to spin it around your fingers, its weight perfectly balanced with each move.
“You’re pretty in it.” Miranda purrs, echoing herself from the first time she ever put it on you. “Why shouldn’t a girl own a knife and know how to use it?” She snatches it from your hand, but you don’t dare to look, so you don’t know what she’s done with it.
“About this, then.” You sigh, nudging at the book on the carpet with your toes, making it slide across the bristle, the soft rustle invading the silence.
“A trained mind is even prettier on a girl.” Miranda replies, pushing the nape of her neck on your crotch when she readjusts to lay more comfortably.
When you feel her exhale, you imagine she’s closed her eyes. Swallowing, you tentatively unpeel the arm from your face and look down - you were right: her eyes are closed. She almost looks peaceful, relaxed. It’s so wild to know it’s the same wild beast who beat you up several times, slashed your shoulder with her initial, and yet…
“Well?” Miranda cracks an eye open, exhales annoyedly from her nose, “Do go on with your little list, I'm having fun.”
You barely resist the urge of rolling your eyes.
“What about this?” You exhale finally, gesturing your own head with a circular motion of your forefinger, tracing an imaginary aureole, and just to be sure she’s understood, your eyes drift and fix on the empty glass on the table.
“You’ll thank me one day.” She says, shrugging, then closes her eyes again, releasing a long breath, and folds her hand over her stomach.
The shirt she’s wearing has slightly risen up and the small scar on the otherwise flawless, flat expanse of her abdomen is plainly visible. Despite it being your first time stitching up somebody, you congratulate yourself for the work and like a river in full, memories flood in your head - the first time you felt her closer, vulnerable, exposed… reachable even; the first time you believed there was more of her under the thick layer of gratuitous sadism. It was from that moment she has shown that, in fact, there was. Sometimes she showed more, some others she revealed less - there were days where you thought you’d breached through her only to find her so distant, the next, that she was almost unrecognizable. One step closer, a thousand back. A constant chase and you never felt out of breath, not even once. Disappointed, maybe, but never tired.
In fact, there’s another point on your list, perhaps the most important one, but you cannot bring yourself to voice it: gesturing at the both of you would open a discussion you don’t want to make - one that you’re not yet ready to make - because you fear what the outcome might be. But you would, if only you owned more courage, you would look down at Miranda while she’s still resting her head in your lap without a care in the world, you would point out how easy and relaxing this feels even though you don’t have the faintest idea of what, exactly, this is. Asking directly would probably earn you some rough punishment you’re not in the mood to endure, so you opt for something in general, well knowing the actual implication about the two of you won’t be caught or simply glossed over.
“I’m doing all this for a reason, I’d like to know what it is.”
“To please me?” She’s all cheeks while she says that. The dimple next to the corner of her mouth making her appearance and tugging, unconsciously, at something within you - something warm and foreign that, you know, you shouldn’t feel right now.
It’s the last thing you would like to do, letting her get away with that reply, but you can’t help yourself, nor the throaty giggle that escapes your lips.
“Miranda.” It should be a warning, but it serves little to its purpose. You gulp down and find your seriousness back, hoping that you haven’t ruined the tense mood and jeopardize the only, thin chance you had. “Miranda, tell me.”
There’s a slight shift in her demeanor, but after observing her so closely for so much, you notice it right away: the folded arms on her stomach are not just laying there anymore, the muscles are twitching under her freckled skin.
“It doesn’t matter.” She snarls, and you can see her struggling to hide the bite from her words. “What matters is that you need to be ready.” She states.
“Ready for what?” You ask then, your prolonged sigh exasperated.
“Stop.” She replies calmly, but the vibrating danger lies beneath. “The world I live in is dangerous, and knowledge is a double-edged sword.”
“How is that relevant?” You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest, keeping your elbows high enough not to hit her square in the face. “You never even let me out of this place.”
“And I won’t. You are safer here.”
Now you can see her jaw tightening too. The feeble twitching of her cheeks and the subtle movements along her neck tells you she’s struggling even harder to keep her anger at bay - you’re vexing her, you’re getting on her nerves, but you can’t back away, not now, not anymore: she would deem you weak and punish you anyway but knowing you’ve disappointed her would burn more than anything else.
“Then what? What should I be ready for?” Your voice is controlled, soft, letting her know your curiosity is barely fueled by the need to actually know what’s behind all this. To know everything - given she will tell you everything, one day - you’ve got time. A lot too, according to her plan to never let you out of that damn apartment.
“I said safer, not safe, m’eudail.” Miranda exhales a long sigh from her nostrils.
She’s so close to the breaching point you’re even afraid to swallow too loudly by now. You should be glad she worries about your safety, but you know better than to bask in that thought. And the fact that she’s toying so deliberately with you makes your blood boil: she might not know about the things going through your mind, as of late, but she can’t have just lost her ability to read you so easily and so suddenly - she chooses those words like she cares while you know very well she doesn’t.
That’s too much. You don’t mind about crossing the border anymore; whatever punishment she thinks is fit, it doesn’t matter.
“So kind of you to teach me things for imaginary enemies or whatever that will never have the chance to hurt me.”
Her eyes snap open, black pupils thinning in a fraction of seconds into an expanding ocean of bright blue. She’s not looking directly at you, but you feel small and screwed nonetheless - her glare very well burnt into your mind to pop up at every right occasion.
If you weren’t already sitting down, you’re sure your knees would buckle.
“I’m trying to teach you this so my enemies or whatever don’t get too close to you.” She says, her voice surprisingly flat. If you didn’t know any better - or fear the reaction upon inquiring - you’d say she’s just parroting a premeditated response. Something she practiced over and over until she’s started to believe those words were true even if they hadn’t started as such.
Still, you need to work with what you have. You know she’s not always sincere - she hardly ever is - but you have no other choice than to believe her.
Hence, Miranda is not exactly worried about you getting hurt, but getting caught by whatever danger lurks outside that building. Honestly, it’s insulting, after what she forced you to endure from the moment she kidnapped you.
“You think I’d sell you out?” You wince in disgust, turning your head away even if you don’t care to be seen. “You know I would never-”
Miranda lifts up from your lap. She’s quick, doesn’t use her hand to hoist herself: before you can register her movement, she’s gone, sitting neatly beside you, her arms still folded over her chest. The similar position makes you drop yours immediately, your teeth grazing at your lip.
“I know you wouldn’t.” She nods, you can see it with the corner of your eye: she nods softly, her head low, her gaze fixed on her feet. “Not at first, at least, not before one of those heroic, classic speeches that go like ‘I’d rather die than speak’,” she says, mocking a random high-pitched voice, “but then, in the end, with the people I know-” She scoffs, the ghost of a bittersweet smile blooming on her mouth, “Death will be the only thing you’ll wish for.”
You watch her, trying to decide whether she’s completely sincere now or it’s just another of those rehearsed phrases she intends to feed you. There’s a part of you that wants so desperately to believe her, but the other just can’t envisage an actual criminal organization wanting to get to you, torture you only to get information about... you don't fucking know about what, like in the movies. It’s just too wild. Miranda’s universe is fucked up, you’re there by chance and you decided to stay because… whatever the reason, you refuse to be part of that grander design.
It has nothing to do with you.
You agreed to stay with her, not that world of hers that would hardly ever reach you, confined in that New York building, far from any human contact.
“Are you trying to scare me?”
The harsh noise of her hand colliding with the sofa into a resonant slap makes you jerk. Your heart shoots in your throat, pounding loudly in your temples.
“You just don’t get it, do you?” Miranda is looking directly at you, her eyes flaming in blue tongues of fire and you can’t do anything but stare back, your breath catching and feeling all the blood drain from your veins. “This is not a fucking game!” She glares, points blindly at the window. “It is really that awful out there!”
Unconsciously, you notice you’ve pulled your knees against your chest, curling up into a ball on the couch. Miranda notices as well, you don’t know why she sighs, but she does, the anger slowly but steadily leaving her eyes.
“Okay. Okay, I’m sorry.” You mumble, at least grateful she has decided not to leash out on you - not yet.
Maybe those anger management tapes she listens to in her room at night are giving some results. She doesn’t know you know, of course, and imagine she’d be embarrassed, so you keep the secret.
“Like it or not, you chose to enter my world the day you decided to stay.” She says, voice incredibly flat.
“I get it.” You assure, slightly annoyed. How can you ever forget that when she keeps reminding you? Sometimes you feel like she’s trying to make you regret your choice of staying. “But let’s assume your enemies were to catch me,” you’re barely aware of the dramatic eye roll, but the fact that she’s not clawing at your throat yet, encourages you to keep going, “they will probably think I know something and torture me or whatever shit you’re afraid they’ll do to me anyway, so you might as well just tell me what we’re doing. Right?” You’re not exactly sure when you’ve started rambling, but when you realize that perhaps that stream of thoughts hardly makes sense to someone outside your head, you sigh and worry at your lip.
Slowly, you turn your head to the side, wincing innocently when Miranda glares at you with narrowed eyes.
“Nice try.” She replies dryly, then a throaty, disbelieved chuckle erupts from her lips.
It’s kinda nice to know that she still finds you amusing, sometimes, after getting so much on her nerves. A couple of months ago, she would have you killed for much less.
Without much warning, you see her hand flaring up in a calculated move. You think she’ll deliver something harsh - a slap, a grip on your neck, a fistful of hair - instead she loops her fingers in the collar of your shirt and pulls you in for a kiss. Startled and taken aback, you return it without closing your eyes, brow furrowing at the unexpected softness of the contact. Because it’s always about her, you yelp when she bites into your bottom lip, making you taste copper on your tongue, but that doesn’t surprise you.
She wipes at the small drop of blood on her own mouth with the back of her hand and clicks her tongue, crocking her lips into an amused and yet dangerous smirk.
“One of these days I need to teach you to do what you’re told without making annoying questions.” She whispers. There are a lot of implications in that statement and you feel a shiver run up your spine. “Off to bed.”
When she slaps your exposed thigh, the stinging sensation crawling and spreading onto your skin brings you suddenly to yourself again. You’re alert, but you’re back to be puzzled and irritated. You lower your feet to the carpet, yet you don’t make any effort to stand up and leave.
Instead, you take in a shaky breath, her taste still lingers in your mouth, and you unfold and fold your arms on your chest, squirm lightly on the padded seat. You should leave, obey - you don’t want to.
“Well?” She inquires curiosity, cocking an eyebrow.
She’s calm now, she’s just kissed you, slapped you playfully - although a little harshly - on your thigh… you can try again. You can dare.
“Come with me?” Your voice is barely above a whisper. You didn’t like to sound so needy or clingy, but it’s too late now: your voice has betrayed you.
Miranda blinks and, in her heartbeat, her eyes have changed their light: one glimpse at her face, and you know her mood has shifted again.
“Stop asking.” She exhales, falling into the seatback, shoulders slouching.
“Miranda you just can’t keep doing this.” It’s your turn to slap your hand flat on the couch. You didn’t mean to snap, but it’s too late for that too.
“Careful kitten, I'd suggest withdrawing your claws.”
“I-” Your breath hitches when you watch her scoot closer.
There’s still a gap between the two of you, but she’s there, ready to jump - she is the cat, the feral one, done with the cuddles and yearning for blood. You know she’s going to, so - fuck it - better to just pull it out and get over with it. “It’s just that- you’re close, then you’re distant, you’re kind and nice one moment and a real bitch the next. It’s confusing.”
You try to suffocate the yelp when her hand comes to fist at your hair, but it’s too sudden. Instinctively, you reach up and grab at her wrist to lessen her pull, but you’re helpless and soon you find yourself following her, stumbling on the furniture and on your own feet as she hoists you up effortlessly and drags you into the other side of the apartment.
“I’ll make it simple for you simple, then.” She snarls sharply behind clenched teeth. “Let me remind you that the sole fact that you’re still alive and breathing is a miracle.”
You know better than to ask for mercy: you called this upon yourself, you had it coming, so begging and pleading won’t serve you much. You clench your jaw and hope for the tears pricking at the corner of your eyes to not fall down so soon; however, when the iron door of your old cell comes to sight, it’s impossible to stop their advance.
She’s flushed behind you, her chest pressed on your back. The hand that fists your hair yanks your head backward until her lips are ghosting over your cheek, the other arm wrapped around your waist keeping you still. You can only stare at the vault in front of you.
“You want to go back in there?” She asks, her voice saccharine and warm against your skin.
“No.” You whimper.
“No.” She mocks.
Smacking a kiss on the apple of your cheeks, she’s back at tugging. She pulls you up to the door of the apartment, its white surface a few inches from your nose while she takes her previous position.
“You want to leave and never come back?”
“No.”
“No.” She echoes. This time, she kisses you properly, then bites until you yelp and try to squirm away.
When she pushes you into your room, you almost fall onto your knees, but luckily you manage to stay upright. You turn abruptly on your heels, you stare at her, swallow when she lifts her forefinger, and point it at you.
Her gaze is firm, owning you completely.
“Listen to my advice, m’eudail: take what you can and live with it. I learned it a long ago, it’s time you learn it too.”
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vajranam · 4 years ago
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A Brief Presentation Of The Nine Vehicles
A Brief Presentation of the Nine Vehicles
by Alak Zenkar Rinpoche Thubten Nyima
Our teacher, the fourth guide of this fortunate aeon, the incomparable lord of sages, Śākyamuni, gave infinite teachings as means to enter the Dharma of the causal and resultant vehicles, in accordance with the particular temperaments, spiritual faculties and attitudes of disciples. Nevertheless, they may all be included within the three vehicles, which, in turn, may be further subdivided into nine successive stages.
As The General Sūtra says:[1]
The ultimate definitive vehicle
Certainly appears as three in number:
The vehicles of leading from the origin, Vedic-like asceticism,
And powerful transformative methods.
And The Immaculate Confession Tantra says:
The samayas of the nine successive vehicles—
Three vehicles related to the three piṭakas of characteristics,
The outer three of kriyā yoga and so on, related to tantras of asceticism,
And the inner three yogas related to tantras of skilful methods.
Thus the classification of ‘nine successive vehicles,’ which is found in the Nyingma Early Translation tradition, is made up of:
three outer vehicles of leading from the origin [of suffering] or those related to the three piṭakas of characteristics,
three inner vehicles of Vedic-like asceticism[2] or those of the three outer classes of tantra, and
three secret vehicles of powerful transformative methods or those of the three inner classes of tantra.
Let us elaborate a little on the meaning of these, first of all by considering what is meant by the term ‘vehicle’ or yāna. It is said in The Condensed Sūtra:[3]
This vehicle is the supreme of vehicles for reaching
The vast sky-like palace of happiness and bliss.
Riding in this all beings will reach nirvāṇa.
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This refers to the literal meaning of the Sanskrit term yāna, a vehicle or means of conveyance, since it is that which carries us along the paths and bhūmis, bringing us ever greater enlightened qualities.
I. The Three Outer Vehicles Leading from the Origin
The three causal vehicles of characteristics are: the śrāvaka vehicle, pratyekabuddha vehicle and bodhisattva vehicle.
Why are these three called ‘vehicles leading from the origin’? It is because they lead us along the path to the result of liberation from samsara by abandoning all the actions and kleśas which are the cause or ‘origin’ [of suffering].
1. The Śrāvaka Vehicle
Generally speaking, the Sanskrit word ‘śrāvaka’ has both the meaning of listening and of hearing, so [the Tibetan translation nyenthö literally means] ‘listener-hearer.’ Alternatively, the term can be understood to mean ‘listening and proclaiming,�� in the sense that the śrāvakas rely on masters and then proclaim to others all the words their teachers have spoken.
The initial entry point, the view, the meditation, the conduct and the results of the śrāvaka vehicle will now be explained below.
i. Entry Point
The śrāvakas are motivated by a feeling of renunciation, the wish to escape from all the realms of samsara by themselves alone. With this motivation, they receive one of the seven sets of pratimokṣa vows, those of a male or female lay practitioner, novice monk or nun, probationary nun, or fully ordained monk or nun, and having received these vows, they practise moral restraint, keeping their vows unimpaired, repairing any impairments that do occur, and so on.
ii. View
As the basis of their path, they determine their view by focusing upon all phenomena included within the five aggregates and realizing that they are devoid of any personal self. They do not understand that all material and conscious phenomena are devoid of true reality, and, asserting a truly real partless particle in perceived objects and an indivisible moment of consciousness, they fail to realize the absence of phenomenal identity.
iii. Meditation
In terms of the path, they practise both śamatha and vipaśyanā meditation. They realize the state of śamatha by abandoning obstacles and cultivating factors conducive to samādhi, according to the nine stages of resting the mind and so on, and generate the wisdom of vipaśyanā by meditating on the sixteen aspects of the four truths.
iv. Conduct
They keep to the twelve ascetic practices[4] that avoid the two extreme forms of lifestyle, over-indulgence in sense pleasures[5] and excessive self-punishment.
v. Results
They attain any one of eight levels of fruition, corresponding to the degree to which they have abandoned the kleshas of the three realms. There are eight levels because the four results of stream-enterer, once-returner, non-returner and arhat are each divided into the two stages known as the emerging and the established.
2. The Pratyekabuddha Vehicle
Pratyekabuddhas, or ‘self-awakened’ are so-called because, having a more profound depth of wisdom than the śrāvakas, they manifest their own awakening through the power of their own wisdom, without needing to rely on other masters.
Let us elaborate slightly by presenting the initial entry point, view, meditation, conduct and results of the pratyekabuddha vehicle:
i. Entry Point
As with the entry point to the śrāvaka vehicle, the pratyekabuddhas take up any one of the seven sets of pratimokṣa vows and then keep them unimpaired.
ii. View
When it comes to the basis of their path, how they determine the view, they realize the absence of a personal self completely, but only realize half the absence of phenomenal identity, because although they realize that the partless particles of perceived objects are not real, they still believe in the true existence of indivisible moments of consciousness.
iii. Meditation
When it comes to their path, and their practice of meditation, the uncommon approach of the pratyekabuddhas is to meditate on how the twelve links of interdependent origination arise in their progressive sequence and how they cease in the reverse order.
iv. Conduct
Like the śrāvakas, they keep to the twelve rules of ascetic practice.
v. Results
As their fruition, those with sharper faculties attain the level of a rhinoceros-like pratyekabuddha arhat and those with duller faculties become parrot-like[6] pratyekabuddha arhats.
Moreover, they reach their final existence as a result of three specific aspiration prayers. They pray that their last existence may be in a world without buddhas and śrāvakas, that they may attain awakening by themselves, without relying on any teacher, and that they may teach the Dharma silently through physical gestures.
3. The Bodhisattva Vehicle
The bodhisattva vehicle is the part of the mahāyāna that belongs to the vehicle of characteristics. It is called the vehicle of bodhisattvas because once it has been entered it has the power to lead someone to great enlightenment, because its domain of experience is vast, in terms of its extensive skilful methods and its profound wisdom, because it brings about benefit and happiness, in the higher realms in the short term, and ultimately at the stage of definitive good, and because it carries one to greater and greater qualities as one progresses along the paths and stages. It is called a vehicle of characteristics because it has all the characteristics of a path that is a direct cause for bringing about the ultimate fruition, the level of buddhahood.
I will now a give a brief outline of its initial entry point, view, meditation, conduct and results.
i. Entry Point
The bodhisattvas practise on the basis of their wish to benefit others. They are motivated by bodhicitta, which has as its focus all sentient beings and is characterized by the wish to establish them all at the level of perfect buddhahood, free from the causes and effects of suffering and endowed with all the causes and effects of happiness. With this motivation, they take the bodhisattva vows of aspiration and application in the proper way, through the ritual of either the tradition of Profound View or Vast Conduct. They then observe the points of discipline concerning what should be adopted and abandoned, and heal and purify any impairments.
ii. View
Concerning the basis of their path, how they determine the view, if we speak in terms of philosophical tenets, the approach of Mind Only is to assert that outer objects are not real and all phenomena are but the inner mind, and to claim that the self-aware, self-knowing consciousness devoid of dualistic perception is truly real. The approach of the Middle Way is to realize that all phenomena appear in the manner of dependent origination, but are in reality emptiness, beyond the eight extremes of conceptual elaboration.[7] Through these approaches, on the basis of the explanation of the two levels of reality, they realize completely the absence of any personal self or phenomenal identity.
iii. Meditation
Concerning their path and how they practise meditation, the bodhisattvas realize and train in developing their familiarity with the indivisibility of the two levels of reality, and, on the basis of the yogic meditation that unites śamatha and vipaśyanā, meditate sequentially on the thirty-seven factors of enlightenment while on the path of training.
iv. Conduct
They practise the six transcendent perfections for their own benefit and the four means of attraction for the sake of others.
v. Results
They attain the level of buddhahood, which is the ultimate attainment in terms of both abandonment and realization since it means abandoning all that has to be eliminated, the two obscurations including habitual traces, and realizing everything that must be realized, included within the knowledge of all that there is and the knowledge of its nature. They accomplish the two types of dharmakāya for their own benefit and the two types of rūpakāya for the benefit of others.
II. The Three Inner Vehicles of Vedic-like Asceticism
These are the three outer classes of tantra: the vehicle of kriyā tantra, the vehicle of caryā tantra and the vehicle of yoga tantra.
You might wonder why are these called ‘vehicles of Vedic-like asceticism.’ It is because the three outer classes of tantra stress aspects of ascetic conduct, such as ritual purification and cleanliness, and in this respect they are similar to the Vedic tradition of the brahmins.
4. The Vehicle of Kriyā Tantra
The kriyā tantras, or ‘action’ tantras, are so-called because they are concerned mainly with external conduct, the practices of ritual purification and cleanliness and so on.
The entry point, view, meditation, conduct and results of this vehicle are as follows:
i. Entry Point
The initial point of entry to the path of secret mantra vajrayana is ripening empowerment, so here one receives the water empowerment, which establishes the potential for ripening into the dharmakaya, and the crown empowerment, which establishes the potential for ripening into the rūpakāya. Then one keeps the general samayas of the kriyā yoga as they are explained in the particular texts themselves.
ii. View
In terms of determining the view, the basis of the path, one realizes that the ground of purification, the nature of mind itself, is the wisdom of empty clarity, and is ultimately beyond all extremes of elaboration, such as existing, not existing, appearing or being empty. Then one views the aspects of relative appearance, which are what must be purified, as the characteristics of the completely pure deity.
iii. Meditation
As for the path and the way of practising meditation, it centres around the four realities: 1) the reality of oneself, and 2) the reality of the deity, which is practised by means of the six aspects of the deity,[8] by visualizing oneself as the samaya form and then invoking the wisdom being into the space in front, considering oneself as a servant and the deity as one’s master. One then focuses upon 3) the reality of the mantra recitation which is the sound, and on the mind and the ground, and meditates upon 4) the reality of concentration, which consists of remaining in the ‘flame,’ continuation of sound and culmination of sound.
iv. Conduct
One performs the three kinds of ritual purification,[9] changes the three types of clothing,[10] adopts a diet of the three white foods[11] and practices ritual fasting and mantra recitation.
v. Results
In the short term, one becomes a desire realm vidyādhara, and ultimately one attains awakening as Vajradhara of one of the three buddha families: of the family of enlightened body, Vairocana, of the family of enlightened speech, Amitābha, or of the family of enlightened mind, Akṣobhya.
5. The Vehicle of Caryā Tantra
The vehicle of caryā or ‘conduct’ tantra is so-called because it places an equal emphasis on the outer actions of body and speech and the inner cultivation of samādhi. It is also called the ‘tantra of both’ (ubhaya tantra) because its view conforms with that of yoga tantra, while its conduct is similar to that of kriyā.
I will now say a little about its entry point, view, meditation, conduct and results.
i. Entry Point
One is matured by means of the five empowerments, which include the empowerments of the vajra, bell and name in addition to the water and crown empowerments, and then maintains the samayas of caryā tantra, as described in the particular texts themselves.
ii. View
The view is determined in the same way as in the yoga tantra, so it will be explained below.
iii. Meditation
One visualizes oneself as the samaya being and visualizes the wisdom deity, who is regarded as a friend, in front of oneself, and then practises the conceptual meditations on the syllable, mudrā and form of the deity, and the non-conceptual meditation on absolute bodhicitta by means of entering, remaining and arising.[12]
iv. Conduct
The conduct here is the same as in kriyā tantra.
v. Results
In the short term, one attains the common accomplishments and ultimately one reaches the level of a vajradhara of the four buddha families, i.e., the three mentioned earlier plus the ratna family.
6. The Vehicle of Yoga Tantra
The vehicle of yoga tantra is so-called because it emphasizes the inner yogic meditation upon reality, combining skilful means and wisdom.
Its entry point, view, meditation, conduct and results are as follows:
i. Entry Point
Having been matured through the eleven empowerments—the five empowerments of the disciples (water, crown, vajra, bell and name) as well as the six empowerments of the master (the empowerment of irreversibility, empowerment of seeing secret reality, authorization, prophecy, confirmation and praising encouragement)—one keeps the samayas as described in the particular texts.
ii. View
The ground, the way in which the view is established, is as follows. Ultimately, all phenomena are realised to be clear light, beyond conceptual elaboration. Through the blessing of this, the relative is seen as the deities of the vajradhātu.
iii. Meditation
One meditates on the yoga of skilful means, visualizing oneself as the deity by means of the five aspects of awakening and the four miraculous things,[13] and summons the wisdom being, who then dissolves into oneself, and is sealed by means of the four mudrās, and so on. There is also the yoga of wisdom, in which one rests in a state in which ultimate non-conceptual wisdom is inseparable from the relative appearance of the deity of the vajradhātu.
iv. Conduct
One practises ritual purification and cleanliness simply as a support.
v. Results
As a worldly attainment, one becomes a celestial vidyādhara, and as the supermundane accomplishment, one attains enlightenment in Ghanavyūha, as one of the five buddha families (in addition to the four families previously mentioned, there is also Amoghasiddhi’s buddha family of enlightened activity).
III. The Three Secret Vehicles of Powerful Transformative Methods
These are the three inner classes of tantra: the vehicle of mahāyoga, the vehicle of anuyoga and the vehicle of atiyoga.
You might wonder why are these are called ‘vehicles of powerful transformative methods.’ It is because they include powerful methods for transforming all phenomena into great purity and equalness.
7. The Vehicle of Tantra Mahāyoga
The vehicle of mahāyoga, or ‘great yoga,’ is so-called because it is superior to ordinary yoga tantra since all phenomena are realized to be a magical display in which appearance and emptiness are indivisible.
Once again, I will briefly describe its point of entry, view, meditation, action and results.
i. Entry Point
Once one’s mind has been matured through receiving the ten outer benefiting empowerments, the five inner enabling empowerments and the three secret profound empowerments, one keeps the samayas as they are described in the texts.
ii. View
By means of extraordinary lines of reasoning, one establishes and then realizes the indivisibility of the [two] higher levels of reality, according to which the cause for the appearance of the essential nature, the seven riches of the absolute,[14] is spontaneously present within the pure awareness that is beyond conceptual elaboration, and all relative phenomena naturally appear as the mandala of deities of the three seats.[15]
iii. Meditation
When it comes to the path and the practice of meditation, the main emphasis is on the generation stage. In the practice of generation stage yoga, one sets up the practice through the three samādhis, ensures that the three of purifying, perfecting and ripening are complete within the visualization, and, once the visualization is complete, seals it with the instruction on the four nails securing the life-force. In the practice of the completion stage yoga, one activates the vital points of the vajra body, its subtle energies, essences, luminosity and so on.
iv. Conduct
One maintains elaborate, unelaborate and extremely unelaborate conduct.
v. Results
In the short term one reaches the four vidyādhara levels, which are the results belonging to the path, and finally one gains the ultimate fruition, and reaches the level of the Vajradhara of unity.[16]
8. The Vehicle of Scriptural Transmission Anuyoga
The vehicle of anuyoga, or ‘following yoga’, is so-called because it mainly teaches the path of passionately pursuing (or ‘following’) wisdom, in the realization that all phenomena are the creative expression of the indivisible unity of absolute space and primordial wisdom.
Once again, let us say a little about its point of entry, view, meditation, conduct and results:
i. Entry Point
One’s mind is matured through the thirty-six empowerments in which the four rivers—outer, inner, accomplishing and secret—are complete, and one keeps the samayas as described in the texts.
ii. View
Through logical reasoning one determines that which is to be known, the fact that all phenomena are characterized as being the three mandalas in their fundamental nature, and realizes that this is so.
iii. Meditation
Meditation practice here consists of two paths. On the path of liberation one practises the non-conceptual samādhi of simply resting in a state that accords with the essence of reality itself, and the conceptual samādhi of deity practice, in which one visualizes the mandala of supporting palace and supported deities simply by reciting the mantra of generation. On the path of skilful means one generates the wisdom of bliss and emptiness through the practices of the upper and lower gateways.
iv. Conduct
One practises the conduct that is beyond adopting or abandoning in the recognition that all perceptions are but the display of the wisdom of great bliss.
v. Results
At the culmination of Anuyoga’s own uncommon five yogas, which are essentially its five paths,[17] and the ten stages[18] that are included within these five, one attains the level of Samantabhadra.
9. The Vehicle of Pith Instruction Atiyoga
The vehicle of Atiyoga, or ‘utmost yoga,’ is so-called because it is the highest of all vehicles. It involves the realization that all phenomena are nothing other than the appearances of the naturally arising primordial wisdom which has always been beyond arising and ceasing.
The following is a brief explanation of the entry point, view, meditation, conduct and results of this vehicle.
i. Entry Point
One’s mind is matured through the four ‘expressive power of awareness’ empowerments (rigpé tsal wang), and one keeps the samayas as explained in the texts.
ii. View
The view is definitively established by looking directly into the naturally arising wisdom in which the three kāyas are inseparable: the empty essence of naked awareness beyond the ordinary mind is the dharmakāya, its cognizant nature is the sambhogakāya, and its all-pervasive compassionate energy is the nirmāṇakāya.
iii. Meditation
The meditation consists of the approach of cutting through resistance to primordial purity (kadak trekchö), through which the lazy can reach liberation without effort, and the approach of the direct realization of spontaneous presence (lhundrup tögal), through which the diligent can reach liberation with exertion.
iv. Conduct
The conduct is free from hope and fear and adopting and abandoning, because all that appears manifests as the display of reality itself.
v. Results
Perfecting the four visions of the path, one gains the supreme kāya, the rainbow body of great transference, and attains the level of glorious Samantabhadra, the thirteenth bhūmi known as ‘Unexcelled Wisdom’ (yeshe lama).
| Translated by Adam Pearcey, 2005, revised 2016 (with thanks to Han Kop).
An earlier version of this translation was published in Kyabje Zenkar Rinpoche & Pema Lungtok Gyatso Rinpoche, The Nine Gradual Vehicles: Two Complementary Presentations. Brussels: Wisdom Treasury, 2015.
The General Sūtra of the Gathering of All Intentions ('dus pa mdo), the central scripture of Anuyoga.  ↩
An alternative translation sometimes given is ‘the inner vehicle of gaining awareness through austerities’ but that would not accord with Zenkar Rinpoche’s explanation given later in this text.  ↩
i.e., The Condensed Prajñāpāramitā Sūtra.  ↩
According to The Nyingma School of Tibetan Buddhism, vol. 2, p. 169: 1) Wearing clothes found in a dust heap, 2) owning only three robes, 3) wearing felt or woollen clothes, 4) begging for food, 5) eating one’s meal at a single sitting, 6) restricting the quantity of food, 7) staying in isolation, 8) sitting under trees, 9) sitting in exposed places, 10) sitting in charnel grounds, 11) sitting even during sleep, and 12) staying wherever one happens to be.  ↩
This is rather a free translation of 'dod pa bsod nyams kyi mtha'  ↩
They are called ‘parrot-like’ because they remain together in groups, unlike the ‘rhinoceros-like’ pratyekabuddha arhats who stay by themselves.  ↩
The eight extremes of conceptual elaboration are: ceasing, arising, being non-existent, being permanent, coming, going, being multiple and being single.  ↩
The aspects of emptiness, syllable, sound, form, mudrā and characteristics.  ↩
Purification of the body by washing, purification of downfalls and purification of thoughts.  ↩
Changes one’s outer clothing means to put on clean clothes, changing one’s inner clothing means to guard one’s vows, and changing one’s secret clothing means to visualize the deity.  ↩
Curd, milk and butter.  ↩
‘Entering’ refers to the realization that all phenomena are beyond arising, ‘remaining’ means to abide once the non-conceptual nature has manifest and ‘arising’ means developing intense compassion for all beings who do not realize this.  ↩
i.e., samādhi, blessings, empowerment and offering.  ↩
Enlightened body, speech, mind, qualities and activity, plus absolute space and primordial wisdom.  ↩
The aggregates (skandha) and elements (dhātu) are the seats of the male and female buddhas, the sense faculties and their objects are the seats of the male and female bodhisattvas, and the limbs are seats of the male and female wrathful ones.  ↩
‘Unity’ here means the unity of dharmakāya and rūpakāya.  ↩
1) The yoga of the aspiring spiritual warrior on the path of accumulation, 2) the yoga revealing the great enlightened family on the path of joining, 3) the yoga of great assurance on the path of seeing, 4) the yoga of receiving great prophecy on the path of meditation, and 5) the yoga of perfecting the great creative power on the ultimate path.  ↩
1) The stage of uncertain transformation, 2) the stage of stable foundation, 3) the stage of significant purification, 4) the stage of continuous training, 5) the stage of supportive merit, 6) the stage of special progress through stability, 7) the stage bringing focus on the result once the path of seeing has arisen through clear light, 8) the stage of steadfast remaining, 9) the stage of expanding reality, and 10) the stage of riding on perfection.  
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meginoi-writes · 5 years ago
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New Kicks and Terrible Tricks - Chapter 5
I had a little trouble with the dialogue in this one but i think it turned out pretty well! It also helped me to realise where i want this fic to go!
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Pairing: Prinxiety
Words: 1024
Roman could tell Virgil was a natural, so why didn’t he skate anymore? His technique was rough around the edges, but, with a little bit of polishing, he could easily qualify for regionals. Roman should know, he’d qualified for regionals more times than he could count.
Roman’s hand tingled as it slid up to cup Virgil’s cheek. He smiled at the sight, it was like his hand belonged there. There was something about Virgil, his brown eyes held a twinkle as he blinked up at Roman, the blush on his cheeks barely visible underneath the foundation he wore, he looked almost painfully inviting, his mouth dropped open slightly as he stared.
The silence in the rink was becoming suffocating, dropping onto them as it threatened to engulf them both. Roman was sure Virgil was able to hear how painfully fast his heart was thumping away in his ribcage. It rang in his own ears, th-thump, th-thump, th-thump.
“Let me teach you,” He blurted, his mind catching up once his mouth had already made the decision. 
“What?” Virgil asked, confusion taking over from that sweet ‘deer in headlights’ expression his face had held before. Roman felt like Virgil had had a lot of experience with that feeling.
Well, there was no going back now. “You’re good, like, really good, Virgil. I meant it. But, with a bit of practice, you could be great, you could compete if you wanted. This could benefit both of us.”
“That’s crazy. There’s no way I could compete. What could you possibly stand to gain from this?”
Roman let the silence settle between them. From his perspective, Virgil was right, he was just a stranger to him, one that happened to be good at skating. Yet, he was here to stay, for a while at least, and his parents had been begging him to fade into the background for a while, to take a step back from the ice, the one thing he loved. What better way to get the best of both worlds than to teach a shy boy that was undeniably cute? - Sure, he wasn’t Roman’s usual type but he was cute nonetheless, he wouldn’t mind seeing that face every day.  That way, he was fading into the background for a little while and still keeping in touch with his favourite thing. A win win right? Now the only obstacle was to convince Virgil. “You shouldn’t underestimate yourself. As for what i get, well I get to see your cute face every day, I'm not gonna pass up an opportunity like that! So, what d’you say?”
Virgil rolled his eyes. “You’re gonna keep bugging me until I give in, aren’t you?” 
Roman sighed dramatically, placing a hand on his chest. “It’s like you’ve known me forever, V.”
“V?” Roman replied, eyebrow raised as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which, in hindsight, it probably was.
“Yeah, short for Virgil?”
“I know my own name genius, but why the nickname?” Virgil retorted, crossing his arms and slightly tilting his head. 
“I give all my friends nicknames, and since I'll be teaching you all of my magnificent skills, i thought we should make this friendship we have official.”
“Is that what you’d call it? I literally met you a few days ago. I barely know you.” 
“What are we then? Acquaintances? Strangers? Lovers?” Roman retorted, raising an eyebrow.
“I am definitely not your lover!” Virgil spluttered, his skates slipping slightly as he grabbed the edge of the rink. His cheeks had heated up even more, what was once a slight pink was now a deep red. One that showed easily through the patched where his foundation had rubbed away, leaving red splotches across what had been a pale canvas. 
“Well if we’re not any of those things then we must be friends!” Roman exclaimed, grinning. Virgil was too cute when he was blushing. Roman made sure to file away a mental note to make him blush more often.
“You can’t be though. I don’t have... friends,” Virgil muttered, barely loud enough for Roman to hear. His heart sank at that. Virgil had grown up here, right? He had to have at least some friends, people he had met in high school or even earlier. Did he really mean it?
Roman’s smile softened into something calmer, one that held an essence of sympathy in it. “Then how about i’m your teacher for now. We’ll go from there.”
“That doesn’t sound too bad. I can live with that.”
“I’m still calling you V though. It suits you.”
“It suits me?” Virgil parroted, eyes narrowing and he crossed his arms. 
“Yeah! It’s as mysterious as you are!” Roman laughed as Virgil scowled at him. “I’m only kidding, string bean.”
“String bean?! I think you’ll find i am-”
Virgil’s rant was cut short by an electronic chiming noise to the right of them. Roman’s phone sat there, his lit up lock screen obscured by some incoming text on the screen. Roman stepped out over the step at the entrance of the rink, leaning down and picking up his phone to read it. His mother’s name flashed across the screen, asking where the hell he was. Damn! He’d forgotten about that stupid meeting with his PR manager.
“Crap! I’ve got to go. I’ll see you here tomorrow. Six-thirty?” Roman asked, sitting down and pulling his skates back off and throwing them into his gym bag before pulling his converse back on. He shot up, hurrying up the steps that led to the exit. He paused as he placed his hand on the door, ready to push it open ad rush out of there. He looked back at Virgil, who was still standing at the side of the rink. 
“I’ll be here.”
“Perfect, see you tomorrow, V!” The door slammed behind him. He booked it out of the ice rink, running past the many shops of the high street. The panic that had engulfed his mind held drifted into the background, the image of an out of breath Virgil with flushed cheeks taking its place.
This was definitely going to be interesting.
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xmagicxshopx · 6 years ago
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Moon Monsters - Chapter 3
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Genre: Fantasy Adventure, Romance (possible smut later), Comedy Rating: PG-13 Warnings: none at this time Pairing: Jungkook x reader, Jimin x oc, Taehyung x oc Notes: werewolf!bts au. Not idol!bts. Same goes for GOT7. Single quote marks ‘ ‘ are for thoughts and double “ “ are for talking. Additional Notes: I proof read here and there. Also, this chapter just felt so visibly long as it was so I cut it short. But don’t worry! The girls are gonna have fun in the next chapter and the guys are gonna beat feet to make miracles happen~
Tagging: @och-ako @kfictionstories @trcvias @justbangtanandjams @lizardsocial @breadcaaat
Summary: You’re the CEO’s new personal assistant. But there’s something strange about him and the company you work for.
SERIES MASTERLIST
The petite female whom everyone knew as Mama Bird hummed a soft tune, almost sounding like a songbird herself, as she gently rubbed shampoo into her fellow female’s scalp.
It was more than obvious that you had no will to do anything. You were in that stage where you just wanted to.....disappear. You didn’t even want to exist. Just so you wouldn’t have to deal with this huge loss. Everything to your name was gone. Well almost everything. Thank god things like your credit and debit cards were in your purse. Your social security card and driver’s license were also on you. But that was about it. Everything else was....gone.
And so that’s how you found yourself sitting in the tub full of soothing hot water and lots of bubble bath. You faintly noticed the other female’s hands rubbing your shoulders in a massaging fashion and it would have felt amazing if you could stop seeing the image of your home going up in flames over and over again.
“I know it doesn’t feel like it right now. And I know nothing I say will make this any better, but just know that it’s going to be okay. Because we’re all here for you, sweet pea. You’re not going through this alone.”
“Thank you.......I know I sound like I don’t mean it. I just......”
“It’s okay. I totally get it. I’ve been there.”
You could hear the raw sincerity in the female’s voice. There wasn’t an ounce of bitterness or offence and it actually helped you relax a little. Perhaps it was safe to just be completely open and vulnerable. After rinsing your hair and making sure you were squeaky clean, the soapy water was drained and Mama Bird was helping you up and out of the tub.
Meanwhile, the two males were out in the living room devising up a plan. A plan that was going to take the whole Bangtan pack. The female mates included. They had already texted Taehyung and within 20 minutes, the male and his mate were barreling through the door in a flourish. The male looked around with worry all over his face when his eyes landed on the two males sitting on the couch.
“Where is she now? Is she okay? Has she been checked out?”
“Tae, baby. They mentioned in the text that she wasn’t in the fire. It’s okay. Just calm down.”
Upon feeling a soft, gentle, and warm hand on his upper arm, the male with shaggy, slightly long dark brown hair instantly relaxed and took a deep breath. He turned around and smiled apologetically down at his beautiful mate. He was the luckiest wolf out there to have such a wonderful woman like her. Her eyes were as soft and warm as her reassuring smile.
“Sorry, babe. I just----You know how I feel about our pack. Everyone included. Even if she doesn’t know she’s a part of our family yet.”
Taehyung may have been on the younger end of the pack, but he was a family man for sure. He was going to be the one who had a whole soccer team full of pups and was going to be the best uncle to all the other pups in the pack. Of course he hadn’t explained how mating worked in its entirety to his mate yet but.....well one day that conversation would have to happen. For now he got past the hardest part. And that was explaining to this beautiful woman in front of him who and what he was.
Thank the Moon Goddess she had accepted him. For Taehyung wasn’t prepared to literally die of a broken heart.
“Look who’s ready for a day at the mall.”
Everyone looked up and Taehyung turned around on his heel to see Mama Bird standing with her arm around a very somber looking you. Jungkook didn’t know how to feel as he stared you up and down. If the situation hadn’t been so depressing, he would have voiced how pretty you looked. Mama Bird had done good. Picking out a simple but cozy outfit for you. But that look of sadness on your face broke his heart.
“Oh sweetheart. I’m so sorry. The guys told me what happened. Come here.”
And be darned you started sobbing all over again as you flung yourself at Taehyung and bawled into his shoulder just as you had done with Jimin. After a couple minutes of soft cooing and shushing you, you finally let go of the male and sniffled while rubbing your eyes dry only for a tissue box to be handed to you. Taking the box gratefully, you excused yourself to go blow your nose and splash some cold water on your face now that you knew where the bathroom was.
When you returned, everyone was sitting in the living room. All eyes were on you but the only gaze you were returning was Jungkook’s. His eyes turned soft and he gently scooted over closer to Jimin so that you could take a seat next to him on his other side. Mama Bird was sitting on the floor between Jimin’s legs as said male was playing with his mate’s hair, making a mindless braid out of her soft strands.
“Before we go to the mall........I.......I want to see the building.”
You could tell some of the males in the room wanted to gently disagree but before any of them could get a word out, you quickly turned to Jungkook and took both of his hands in yours to plead with him. If only you knew your touch alone had already convinced him to give you anything you wanted.
“I need to see if there’s anything left, Kook. Anything.”
“Shhh. It’s okay. Of course we can go. We can do anything you want.”
Jimin and Taehyung shared a glance with each other. Yep. Their youngest wolf was whipped like the lovesick puppy he was. Hell, he was more whipped than whipped cream. Speaking of the other two males in the room, Taehyung cleared his throat and spoke softly and gently to you so as not to come off as insensitive.
“Before you go, we’d like to properly introduce you to the girls. Since you’ll be spending all day with them. I know you’ve already met Mama Bird but you’ve not met my lovely lady yet.”
Upon being called lovely lady, the other female in the room smiled bashfully and nervously started to fidget with her fingers. If you hadn’t been so overcome with sadness at the moment, you would have found her more endearing. You took in her appearance. She was quite beautiful. Long, black hair and a cute face. You could understand why Tae had the hots for her.
“You see, us guys have kind of started a thing where we give our girls.....like.....Indian Tribe names? There’s Jimin’s Mama Bird and as for myself. Well.......this gorgeous woman here is my Black Widow. Because of her beautiful black hair and she spins tales like a spider spins her web. Sometimes I tease her and call her Author-nim but at the end of the day, she’s my beautiful black widow. I’m forever tangled in your web, baby. Never forget that.”
“Taaaaeeeee. Ssstooooppp.”
Now who was whipped? While the pale female was now flushed pink in a blush of shyness, she stuffed her face into her mate’s chest while the male just chuckled and held her tightly. The sight actually made you smile a little; helping you forget about your troubles at least for a few minutes. It was then that Mama Bird spoke up and she said casually in her motherly soft tone,
“The boys have told us a lot about you. Taehyung here calls you Miss Korea from what I understand. I can see why. You’re very pretty. You could definitely compete for Miss Korea.”
‘I think we’d both prefer Mrs. Jeon. Doesn’t that have a nice ring to it?’
If it wasn’t for being in a room full of people, Jungkook would have told his inner wolf to stuff it. But now wasn’t the time for that. It was then that the boy realized your hands were still holding his and his knee jerk reaction was to pull away but he managed to resist and instead gave your hands a soft, gentle squeeze of reassurance.
“Th-Thank you for your kinds words. And it’s nice to meet you both. Your names are really beautiful in their own right. I can tell they’re very fitting.”
Not wanting to be rude but also wanting to survey what might be left of your home, you turned back around to fully face the male in front of you and he simply nodded in understanding. Clearing his throat, Jungkook stood up and helped you up with him before turning to the small group.
“I’m going to take her to the apartment building and see what we can find. We’ll meet you guys at the mall and go from there.”
“Sounds like a plan, Kook. Good luck, sweetheart. Call us if you guys need anything while you’re there.”
“Will do. Thanks TaeTae. And thank you for everything, Mama Bird.”
“No problem, sweet pea. You’re welcome over any time.”
Suddenly there was a squawk that shattered the moment followed by a high pitched, “Jimin you pabo! Jimin you pabo!”
“I hate that bird.”
And that’s when you and Jungkook left while listening to a cackling Taehyung as he tried to teach the parrot more phrases while Black Widow tried to scold him; telling him to be nice to his hyung. Part of you wanted to stay and enjoy the fun but there was a larger part of you that needed some kind of closure. Hell, you were still trying to wrap your head around the fact that you now had no home. How could you possibly think about going out and having fun when you were now homeless???
While you were mindlessly walking to the car and climbing in to buckle up, Jungkook was rapidly texting away in the pack’s group chat; explaining what had happened and that phase one of the plan was being set in motion. He’d keep them up to date if he succeeded. If this worked, Jungkook would be the happiest man alive. Climbing into the car, he buckled up himself and started the drive back to the burned down apartment building.
The trip was shorter than you expected it to be. Since the time you had been at Mama Bird’s house, all the fire trucks were gone and all that was left was......other tenants like yourself. Police were carefully escorting them into the building; showing them where it was safe to try and see if there was anything left for them to salvage. Sniffling, you felt a hand on your knee and you quickly turned to face Jungkook. His eyes were full of sorrow and sympathy.
“Come on. Let’s go see what we can find.”
After a police officer safely escorted you to your apartment door, he left the two of you to your own devices so that he could continue to help other tenants. There was nothing left of your door. The only way you knew it was yours because you knew the pathway to your room. Sniffling behind the breathing mask you had been provided to avoid any possible smoke or other toxic fume inhalation, you carefully stepped into the room. There wasn’t much left. Not that you expected anything less. But still.....one could hope.
Despite the breathing mask, it did little to help Jungkook’s extremely sensitive nose. Not that he was about to let you know that. Looking around, his heart broke all the more. Your home was so.....tiny. You lived here? For three years you lived in this tiny place? His inner wolf huffed and growled in mild annoyance. No mate of theirs was going to live in such horrible conditions. Which brought the young male back to his task at hand. Phase one of the mission.
Convincing you to come stay with him.
Meanwhile, you were looking almost desperately for something. The male found his head tilting slightly to the side; looking like the spitting image of a confused puppy. What could you be looking for? A family photo perhaps? Just when he was about to ask, you let out a heart wrenching sob and almost fell to the floor. Which wouldn’t have been safe since there were shards of glass and scorched metal material everywhere.
“Oh my god.....there’s actually a piece left.”
“Wait---Be careful!”
But you didn’t listen. You still reached down and picked up a charred looking object. As you picked it up, what looked like ash was falling down at your feet but upon closer look, Jungkook realized it was stuffing. In your hands was a half destroyed stuffed animal. It appeared to once be a cat. It was silent till he heard you softly sobbing; your shoulders shaking from the pure sadness racking through you.
“This was from my mother. She......She gave it to me before she left me here with my dad. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother, but......she’s too much of a free spirit. She didn’t want to be strapped down by my father and I, I suppose. She left this as a parting gift when I was 8. I haven’t heard from her since........Jungkook this was all I have left of my mother.”
And then it brought on a whole new kind of pain as you suddenly sobbed even harder and threw yourself at him. Audibly crying, you asked him in devastation,
“Why didn’t she want me, Kookie? What was so bad about dad and I?”
At first, the young wolf had no idea what to say. Perhaps it was due to his canine instincts, but how could a parent ever leave their child? It blew his mind. A parent never abandoned their pup. Never. Holding onto you tightly, he gently rocked the both of you back and forth as he shushed you gently.
“You’re a good daughter, beautiful. There’s absolutely nothing bad about you. It’s your mother’s loss. Not yours. Never forget that.”
After a few more minutes of crying your heart out, you finally pulled away from him and pulled yourself together. Sniffling, you stared down at what was left of the stuffed animal and said softly,
“Is it stupid that I want to keep it?”
Gently shaking his head and causing his soft, dark locks to flop back and forth, the male spoke up gently as he replied soothingly,
“No. It’s not stupid at all. Let’s see if we can get an evidence bag from the police officer so you can safely take it with you.”
“Take it with me......”
You let out a bitter laugh before adding, “Where am I going to go? I suppose I’ll find a motel somewhere close to the office building.”
‘A motel? A motel?! Over my dead fluffy body! No mate of ours is going to be staying in a motel!! Of all places!’
It was all Jungkook could do not to tell his inner wolf to pipe it down out loud. Okay. This was it. This was his chance to bring you, his mate, home with him. Nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other, his heart pounding in his ears, he cleared his throat and asked through the breathing mask,
“Why don’t you just stay at my place?”
He quickly added, “There’s plenty of room and we can drive to work together. This way you can save money on gas to help save up money for a new place. It can just be till you get back on your feet. It wouldn’t be anything permanent.”
As much as he’d love for it to be.
You stood there feeling.....Well......You weren’t sure how to feel right now. Everything was happening so fast. Your home had been burnt to a crisp, you’ve bathed and dressed in a stranger’s house, you’ve been introduced to strangers who you were about to spend the whole day with, and now your coworker was practically begging you to stay with him.
“J-J-Jungkook. I don’t know. I don’t want to impose----”
“You won’t be. I promise. I swear.”
There was something unique about staring into someone’s eyes when that was all you could see and right now Jungkook’s eyes were pleading with your own which were filled with uncertainty. Would this even work? Could coworkers living together actually work? Was it practical? Or should you just throw caution to the wind and go for it? After several tense seconds, you sighed and let your shoulders slump as you said in mild defeat,
“Okay. I’ll stay with you. But it’s only temporary.”
You barely got the words out before you were being swept off your feet. Overcome with joy, Jungkook had wrapped you up in his arms and started to gently swing you around while letting out one of those cute higher pitched laughs that he did whenever he was excited about something. The question was......why did you know this? Finally setting you down on your own two feet, you looked up and could see his huge bunny smile despite only being able to see his crinkled eyes.
“I promise it’s going to be fine. You’ll be able to live comfortably while searching for a new home. I promise.”
You really didn’t even know where to begin on thanking him. Perhaps for him it was no big deal but for you it sure was. Taking someone in was a huge deal. Sure they were coworkers but still. You were still getting to know each other. Especially since you two would be working on that project together. This would be a change for sure.
“Thank you, Jungkook. I really can’t thank you enough. Look, I can help around the place. I can do the grocery shopping and----”
“Yah yah. Don’t worry about that stuff right now. I’m just glad you agreed. I’m happy to have you over. It’ll work out perfectly.”
You stared up at him, still a bit dazed from how fast everything was happening. You lost a home and gained one all in a matter of hours and it still felt as if you hadn’t even fully comprehended that you lost everything to your name. Which reminded you, there was still the rest of the apartment to search. Turning back to the male, you asked timidly,
“Could you hold him while I keep looking?”
“Of course. I’d be honored to. What’s his name?”
You were probably just overthinking things but.....It touched your heart and made tears sting your eyes when he referred to your stuffed animal as a still present being rather than a past tense being.
“His name is Garfield. Because he’s orange.”
But sadly, you’d never be able to tell that now. The poor thing was completely covered in soot and ashes. Even though you couldn’t see it, Jungkook had nodded in understanding as he stared down at the object. It was then that an idea popped into his head. Which also triggered a reminder to let the pack know phase one of the mission had went successfully.
Being extremely careful, the young wolf took out his phone and was tapping away his update and his idea while still carefully cradling what was left of your precious gift from your mother. Your mother.....You had mentioned you love her. It was hard for Jungkook to wrap his head around that. Your mother had abandoned you and yet you still found it in your heart to love her. It blew his mind how full of love you must be in general.
Hopefully with time, you’d find a spot in your heart to love him too. Because he sure as hell loved you. With every fiber of his being.
“Well......I guess there’s really nothing left......God so much money was in this place.....”
“Do you have renter’s insurance?”
He immediately regretted asking for he could tell from your posture and the way you looked down at the floor......that you didn’t have much of any insurance aside from what the company provided it’s employees.
“No.....I......I had planned on getting it with this promotion and the raise but......I guess I ran out of time.”
“Hey hey. It’s okay. We’re going to help you rebuild. You’re not in this alone, beautiful.”
Beautiful......he had been calling you that the entire day. Had he always called you that? Looking up at him with curiosity and confusion swirling in your eyes, you asked softly,
“Why do you keep calling me that? Do you really think I’m beautiful?”
Oh sh---- He hadn’t even been thinking about that, really. It just came so naturally to him to call you beautiful. It was kind of his pet name for you, he supposed. Smiling awkwardly behind his breathing mask, he ended up nervously scratching behind his head as he tried to come up with an explanation that wouldn’t send you off running.
“Well of course I think you’re beautiful. You’re not the Miss Korea of our group for nothing.”
There we go. That was slick, right? Pretty smooth? Hopefully???
It seemed to be enough to satisfy your curiosity for you simply nodded but he was certain you were blushing behind your mask as you shyly looked away. Dear god you were adorable. He just wanted to wrap you up in his arms and cuddle you all day long. But there was a mission to be completed. Now that you had accepted his offer, there was a lot of work to be done within this day’s time.
“Let’s get that evidence bag and head over to the mall to meet the others.”
After he softly told you to watch your step, his inner wolf practically screeched at him to just take your hand and help guide you through the rubble. It felt so natural to hold your hand. Even if you didn’t return his strong feelings right now, being in love with you was still one of the best feelings in the world.
Once the both of you were back outside, you were in luck as they had plenty of bags for safe transport of any salvaging the tenants might have found. Carefully putting what was left of your precious Garfield into the bag, you carefully zipped it up and finally took your breathing mask off. Thanking the police officer for everything he had done, the both of you were now heading back to Jungkook’s car and that was when you realized-----
“My car!? Where’s my car?!”
You always parked out in the front of the building because that was really all the parking the building could own. You hadn’t thought about it before but now that everything was settling in your mind, you realized your car was nowhere to be found.
Great. This day just kept getting better and better. First your home goes up in flames and now you were going to have to file a stolen vehicle report. Before you could freak out any further, you felt a pair of warm hands starting to gently rub at your shoulders. That was the second person today to try and give you a shoulder massage. Jungkook didn’t even have to tell you to relax as you figured it out on your own. Taking deep breaths, the two of you just stood there next to his car as he continued to rub his hands expertly over your shoulders.
“Thanks, Kookie.......I don’t think I’d be able to make it through this day without you. Actually I know I wouldn’t have.”
Indescribable. That’s what this moment, this feeling, was like for him. You just told him everything he wanted to hear. Well......one of the things he wanted to hear. His inner wolf was yipping and howling with happiness and dear lord it was like being on cloud nine. This had to be what Heaven felt like. He was sporting the brightest bunny smile ever and was grateful that you couldn’t see him to question him about it.
However, Jungkook needed to remain, strong, cool, and calm for you. So wiping the huge smile off his face and trying to keep that same soothing voice as before, he made a small clear of his throat before replying softly,
“I’m always going to be here for you. You’ll always have me in your corner. And that goes for the rest of us. Tae, Jimin, the girls. We’re all here for you. Since the police are here, why don’t we go file that report now? That way we can skip the station and just go straight to the mall.”
“That’s a smart idea. Let’s go.”
After approaching the policeman from earlier, he was kind and professional as he both offered his sympathy and explained that they actually have some paperwork for such things here on site in their vehicles. So there you stood with a clipboard, pen, and the paperwork necessary to report your stolen vehicle. This was crazy. Who would want your vehicle? It made no sense.
Once you had filled out the paperwork and handed it back to the officer for processing, it was now time to head to the mall. Jungkook would occasionally glance over at you in the passenger seat and every time you’d be staring down at what was left of your poor stuffed animal. He could only hope his plans would help heal your sadness over the loss. God you lost so much though. He couldn’t even fathom the sadness and emptiness you must be feeling. You must be terrified.
That was why, when they had finally found a spot to park and were climbing out of the car, he walked over to your side and gave you a hug. It probably could have been classified as a bear hug, honestly. It took you by surprise but you returned his gesture nonetheless. It was almost like it was his turn for everything to finally sink in. Even though he wasn’t the one that just lost everything. But for a wolf, his mate’s pain was his pain.
“I’m really sorry you’re having to deal with all of this. I can’t begin to imagine what you’re feeling right now. I’m so so sorry, beautiful.”
It felt natural to hug him back. Honestly, you could just stand there hugging each other all day and you’d be happy as a clam. Was that weird? You had only known Jungkook for about a week or so. But some people just click. So perhaps you and him simply click and there’s that great chemistry between you. Maybe that’s why Namjoon picked you to be the younger’s assistant instead of anyone else.
“Thank you, Kookie. It means a lot. Like I said, I wouldn’t be getting through this day without you. Everyone’s been wonderful but you’re really here for me. But let’s get going before Taehyung and Jimin send out a search party for us, huh?”
You smiled up at him as you reluctantly pulled away. He too was smiling as he nodded and took your hand once more. It was nice to know that you weren’t pulling away from the movement because it was becoming more and more natural to take your hand in his. He could tell you weren’t sure what to do with your fingers so he took the risk and laced them with his own. He half expected you to tug away but if anything, you gave his hand a gentle squeeze. God his heart was soaring.
After confusing texts in the group chat, the two of you managed to find everyone in the food court. Food......Did you really even have much of an appetite after the morning you’ve had? No. That was a big fat no. However, you knew that if you were going to survive this day, you were going to have to eat something. Taking a deep breath, you sat down at the table with everyone and reluctantly let go of Jungkook’s hand.
“How did it go, sweetheart?”
Your initial reaction was to be sour and bitter about it. It went horribly at best. But Taehyung was just asking and you would never actually respond to him that way. Just as Jungkook was about to help and answer for you, you found the strength to open your mouth and replied weakly in a small voice,
“It......There was nothing left. And.....on top of everything else, I had to file a stolen vehicle report.”
You could feel the pity. Even though you knew their hearts were in the right place. This day just honestly sucked. Massively. And the worst part is, you had no where to go where you could just soak in a tub with a nice bath bomb. Because you had no home. You were homeless and now without any way of transportation.
“Oh sweet pea that’s awful! I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks, Mama Bird. I’m just glad the vehicle is paid for. It wasn’t anything special but I kind of need a car to get places.”
“Sure sure. That makes total sense. Gosh. Well don’t worry. We’re going to show you a good time today and it’ll make you forget all about the icky stuff. Right, Widow?”
You glanced over across the table to see Black Widow was leaning against Taehyung with her head resting on his shoulder. You got the feeling crowded places like a mall weren’t really her thing and honestly, you yourself weren’t really feeling up for big crowds either. At least not today. However, the woman with the silky black hair nodded her head and spoke up softly,
“Yeah. We’ll have a good time.”
The table took this moment to break up and scout out what was in the food court. Honestly it had been ages since you last went to the mall. Being an adult didn’t really allow you much fun time like that. You couldn’t help but notice Jungkook was following you like a puppy. Not that you minded but you feared he was sticking close to you out of pity.
After everyone regrouped and sat down with some food, the mood was quickly lightening up. Especially when Taehyung picked up one of his fries from the basket he was sharing with his mate and said,
“Look! It’s Jimin!”
That got the poor boy a jab in the arm and a smack to the back of his head all at the same time for he was sitting between his mate and the blonde up for discussion. While Black Widow was lightly scolding the shaggy haired male and Mama Bird was trying to sooth her man’s ego, you sat there nibbling on some crackers that was supposed to go with your bowl of soup but you hardly touched it. Of course Jungkook took notice but he didn’t press or say anything. He probably wouldn’t want to eat either if he was in your shoes.
Once everyone had ate, to which you surprisingly ate at least half your bowl of soup, it was time to part ways. The guys were going to head out and do ‘guy stuff’ while the girls were going to stick around the mall to do ‘girl stuff’.
However......while the day’s plans looked the same, the actual plans had changed dramatically. Even as they all stood there in the middle of the mall, people were already out and about on their own little missions. Jungkook couldn’t wait for this evening. His mate was in so much pain right now, but hopefully once the sun went down, all that pain would go away. Or if anything, would at least ease up.
“Okay, babes. Here’s our cards. And remember, no one buys any clothing without my Fashionista Notary Stamp of approval. Lingerie included. Got it?”
You were dumbfounded as you watched all three boys casually whip out pieces of plastic like it was no big deal. Taehyung handed his mate his card as did Jimin handing Mama Bird his card. And then there you stood staring down at Jungkook’s credit card like he was handing you a beheaded fish or something. Looking back up at him as he was still holding the card out to you, you shook your head and said with a stutter,
“Kook--- N-No. I can’t accept this. Please. I can----”
Just as the youngest was about to gently argue, Taehyung slid between the two of you and gently took your hand and guided you over to a nearby corner where there was a small lounge. Gently setting you down, you were about to argue when the male beat you to it.
“Babe. I’m not going to pretend that I understand what you’re going through right now. But I can promise you, Kook isn’t doing this out of pity or anything like that. Hell, none of us guys are. It’s just something we do whenever we all go out together. Try not to take his gesture the wrong way.”
You stared up at him with all kinds of mixed feelings swirling in your eyes and your heart. Sneaking a glance over at the small group, you could see Jimin trying to keep the mood light but you could see how tense Jungkook’s shoulders were for he had his back to you.
“But.....you and Jimin have girlfriends. It kind of makes sense that you guys would do that for your girls. But Jungkook and I----”
“He’s doing this as your friend. And......I’ll let you in on a little secret.”
Taehyung dramatically leaned in and whispered above all the noise from the mall,
“He’s always wanted to be part of the Sugar Daddy Club. Poor kid.”
If lightening your mood was what he was aiming for, it unknowingly worked as you leaned back from him and rolled your eyes so hard it almost gave you a headache. With a light and playful shove, the male just laughed and gently helped you up from the lounge and escorted you back to the group.
“She’s all yours, Kook.”
And there the two of you stood, as if you two were the only people in the mall. Was that a blush creeping up your neck trying to burn your cheeks and ears? Yes. Yes it was. And you couldn’t help but notice Jungkook too was lightly blushing. With a sheepish smile, he held out his card once more and this time you took it.
“Buy anything you want. It’s yours.”
“It still has to have my notary stamp of approval!”
After stating his conditions, Taehyung turned back to his beloved mate and gave her a sweet kiss on the lips before playfully tapping her nose and speaking softly in a loving tone he reserved only for her.
“Remember your task for the day?”
“Yes. Unfortunately. Manicure and pedicure. Tae what if I chicken out in front of the girls? Please. Can’t we pick something else?”
“Babe. Look at me.”
Black Widow stared up at her mate with eyes full of anxiety as he gently gripped her shoulders. And just like that, one look into his warm eyes and she instantly felt better. He was the only one who could calm her down whenever her anxiety got the best of her.
“You can do this. They’re there to pamper you. They keep all their stations and equipment sanitized and their job is literally to be good to you. You’ll be just fine. And if you succeed, I’ll give you a big reward. A really big one.”
“You’re so gross. Ew. Get away from me.”
The two of them ended up laughing as the female tried to act disgusted with her mate. But Taehyung just clung on and started being overly affectionate as he smothered the entire side of his mate’s face with kisses. However, settling down before he got thrown out for public indecency, he pulled his girl close once more and whispered,
“Pick out a pair of lingerie for me, okay?”
“Fine. If it’ll get you out of here. You guys have a lot to do today.”
“Tell me about it. Namjoon and Jin hyung are already at the dealership lot scouting out the best fit. Yoongi and Hoseok hyung are at the furniture store. Small Fry and I are going to head to the cafe and see what we can find. Pray for me. You know I don’t get along well with cats.”
“If I have to suffer through some old man touching my hands and feet, then you can suffer with a bunch of cats.”
“This is why you’re my mate.”
While Taehyung and Black Widow were being overly mushy and gooey, Jimin and Mama Bird had their heads together talking softly as if they were saying goodbye for the last time. It actually made you feel.......jealous? Was that the feeling gripping and trying to suffocate you? Was that what it was like to have someone special? You have never had a boyfriend before, but you’ve had a couple one night stands. Nothing romantic.
“Try to have fun today, okay?”
You looked up to see a mildly worried looking Jungkook trying to smile down at you. Attempting to smile back, you nodded and spoke softly above all the noise around you,
“I’ll try. Thank you again for everything, Kookie. I know I keep saying it but....”
“Hey, it’s okay. I want to do this. Honestly I wish I could do more.”
“Okay, guys. Let’s leave the girls to their own devices. We got lots of guy stuff to do.”
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quibblepoof · 7 years ago
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Where did you get Kubera and how did you train him so well?
Seeing as it’s nearly his gotcha!day (Dec 24th), I think this is the perfect time to unlock Kube’s origin story!
Kubera’s not only my first bird, but he’s also my first “pet” (I consider him a companion more than anything, but ehhhh). So last year I tried to do as much research as I could before actually getting a bird. Luckily, I live in Southern California so there’s not much a lack of bird breeders or anything–I actually had too many options when it came to picking a place.
What eventually went down was that I asked a handful of people who had experience with birds and how they got theirs. This led me to this reputable avian specialty store that buys birds from trusted breeders and also rehabilitates injured birds. I went scouting around, asked some questions, and when the owner of the store asked what kind of bird I was looking for, he led me right up to the cash register counter where I met Kube–four months old at the time–and absolutely fell in love with him. It turned out that he was bred and hand fed by the owner’s daughter, so that was… actually really cool! I took him home the same day.
As for ‘training’ Kubera, well, it’s more like he trained me. The first few days were quiet, as expected, but Kube turned out to be extremely well-behaved aside from his shyness. He was hand-fed, so he was used to having my hand in the cage already and ate out of it comfortably within a little over a week. Using millet spray to get him to warm up to me definitely did help, but he still didn’t want to explore his cage or get out of it either. The normal stuff! So I was just careful not to make loud noises suddenly or pop out of nowhere without warning him. That helped some, but we didn’t really click during this transition period. We were just wary of each other.
By training, I’m just going to assume you’re talking about 1) bonding with him and 2) teaching him how to speak, because that’s really all I’ve shown on this blog lol. After Kube ~sort of~ got over his shyness and became more curious, I started talking to him a lot. His cage is in my room, so of course he sees me pretty darn often. I literally kind of just grabbed a stool, grabbed a book, and started reading to him for short periods, then leaving him to do his own exploring, but occasionally talking to him. I continued letting him eat out of my hand and we got to a point where he let me remove my hand with him still on it. Then he’d just hop off onto the top of the cage and I would either talk to him or sing some random songs. The singing is definitely what made us click! You might have noticed, but Kubera loves his jams and just dances to whatever he hears. When I first started singing to him, he showed a lot of interest so I just rolled with it and kept going! So just try different things and see if your bird gets interested. The more you do stuff together, the more fun he’ll have and you’ll start to see that bond form eventually!
The speaking bit I just got lucky with tbh. His first words were “pretty bird” because I just like complimenting him and he likes being complimented a hella dang lot. After I discovered he could speak, I started teaching him other elaborate phrases (my favorites being “don’t drop that chirpa chirp,” “gimme a kiss~~MWAH!” and “plus ultra!!”) The trick is–you’ve gotta make the words sound suuuuper interesting. If you say it and your bird tilts its head? That looks like interest to me. Try doing that several times a day, and maybe it’ll catch on! With Kube, I always just said things in batches of three before giving it a rest, and doing it again each day. I’ve also developed a ‘parrot’ voice, which is kind of a scratchy, squeaky………it’s Kube’s voice. Just listen to him in his videos. That’s my parrot voice asdfsdgs. He sounds like that because I sound like that. So be aware of how you’re saying things too.
Welp that was super long and totally went into a tangent, but I hope this answered some of your questions! I’m definitely an amateur and just experimented a lot with Kubera so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Merry Chrysler! Season’s greetings! Have a grainy photo :)
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theramseyloft · 5 years ago
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i’m looking into maybe getting a pigeon as a pet as at this point in time i don’t feel equipped for the intensity of parrots as non domesticated birds. i have some questions! do pigeons like to be pet? do they play at all? do they like to be around and cuddle their owners at all? i guess i’m trying to ask if they’re interactive pets or if they’re hands off pets, as i’m seeking a companion animal. thank you!
Cocks are rowdy boys that both flirt and build relationships by challenging both crushes and rivals to fights.
They are CRAZY-smart!
Legitimately, literally, no exaggeration, Human Child smart!
Pigeons are capable of high level cognition. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2009/…/090212141143.htm
To the extent that they understand the concepts of space and time! https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2017/…/171204144805.htm
They are self-aware enough to distinguish themselves from other pigeons, able to recognize themselves in photos, video, and mirrors AND differentiate between the three. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2008/…/080613145535.htm
Their brains are wired SHOCKINGLY similarly to ours: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2013/…/130717095336.htm
They categorize things and learn the equivalent of words the same way human toddlers do!
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2014/…/140402095107.htm https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2015/…/150204184447.htm
They can even learn to read written language well enough to differentiate between a real word and an acronym with the same number of letters.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2016/…/160919111535.htm
They are pattern mapping social learners: Exactly like we are!
So the most effective way to teach a Pigeon to understand what you are saying is to talk to it like a nonverbal toddler that doesn’t know that word yet.
Addressing people and other birds by name and greeting the peep by their name will teach it that those words mean those individuals.
Describing how the peep is interacting with an object will teach it both action words and object words.
Describing its behavior and mood and yours to it will teach it mood words and help it translate your behavior.
It is important, just like with human children, to offer a choice when ever possible, and differentiate between a want and a need.
“I/we Need to…”, “time to/for…”, and “I’m gonna…” let him know that a thing is happening that involves him, with the implication that it is going to happen, regardless of his opinion on the matter.
“Time to go tot he vet, that ‘Khou!” or “Ankhou, I need to get your hairfoot!” are declarations of a need that must be taken care of, whether he wants to or not.
And by endeavoring to get them over with as fast as possible and release him immediately after, I prove that the thing like detangling potentially dangerous shed hair from his toes, is my focus (As opposed to restraining him to prove that I can.), and once he is safely free of it, he can go about his business.
“Can I?” and “Want to?” should only be used when the bird has the option to agree or decline.
“Ankhou, you wanna come with me?” or “Can I pet you, buddy?”, for example, allow Ankhou to voluntarily come on an adventure with me or let me pet him, and give him the option to refuse if he doesn’t want to.
Ankhou’s “No” is turning his back and walking away.
His “Yes” is usually a step forward towards me or the thing he wants to do.
Which are really simple to reward, just by asking “Yes?” and letting the bird do the thing they want or asking “No?” and not doing the thing/putting away the stuff for doing the thing.
A bird that signaled No, but really did want to do the thing will protest when you stop or put the stuff for the thing away.
“Yes? Ok.” and then continue.
A bird that signaled Yes by mistake will usually try to walk away if it didn’t actually want what ever that was.
“No? Ok.” And then don’t press.
Though any pigeon can learn them, these basics of language are easiest to teach a pigeon that you have the opportunity to start with as a nestling.
We have a youtube channel.
youtube
This is my house pigeon, Ankhou. snuggled up with me.
youtube
Here is a random treat time vid.
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Here is hang out time, no treats involved.
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And here is one of our bonding videos with Tandy when she was a nestling.
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ili-here · 7 years ago
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Russian names: Georgi Popovich
This post is long overdue, because Georgi certainly deserves all the recognition, and it is absolutely essential that everyone learns to pronounce his name right.
You see, it’s a very unfortunate name for someone who’s training under the same coach as Yuri Plisetsky and attempts to have an international career. His name alone could be reason enough for Georgi to achieve less than his rinkmates. His name is a daily struggle.
The name is Георгий Попович, and it’s pronounced Georgiy Popovich—the bold sounds are stressed, that’s important (ghe-oh-rh-gheey puh-poh-vich, or something like that).
The name Georgi is beautiful. It’s an amazing name, and he’s got a lot of amazing namesakes, from Georgi Pobedonosets (St. George) to Georgi Vasiliev (a famous Russian musician), but—it’s only perfect if you like your options for the diminutives, and that only happens if you never encountered a smartass classmate with a desire to tease you. 
See, in Russia, no one would call, say, a Viktor “Viktor” all the time. A lot of people, especially those relatively close to said Viktor, like his parents, classmates, teachers, colleagues, as well as random people of the same age or older in an informal setting, would want to use a diminutive. A diminutive isn’t even called a nickname in Russian—it’s just a name. If your name is Viktor, Vitya is automatically your name, too. Most frequently people would attempt to use your default diminutive—that’s what Vitya is for Viktor—but there is some space for personal choice: Viktor can be Vik, or Vitiok, or Vitka.
The trouble with the default diminutive for Georgi—Gosha—is that, to a lot of people (not to everyone, but one classmate is enough at certain age), it sounds like a parrot name. There’s even a children’s book (I’m pretty sure there’s more than one, but this one is easily googlable): Попугай Гоша (Gosha the parrot). 
So, you’re a guy named Georgi and you don’t like the way your silly classmates call you a parrot (Gosha would be called worse, but I’ll get back to it when I get to the last name). So, you try to move on to other diminutives, and, naturally, come up with Goga. It’s a fine nickname, short and catchy—but it sounds kind of weird to the Russian ear. Not bad weird, just—weird. Not the name you would like to use in a group of silly teenagers. 
So, you leave Goga, and look for another nickname, and sure, here’s Zhora. It’s an okay nickname, too—right until the idiot classmates start calling you Жора-обжора (Zhora-obzhora). “Obzhora” means “glutton”, and, again, that’s not too much of a slur, but still not the perfect choice if you’re thirteen and trying to avoid being bullied for your name.
And then one day someone tells you (or you’ve always kind of known it yourself) that the name Georgi is the same name as Yuri. It’s true: the names Yuri and Yegor appeared when the name George was trying to find its way into Russian phonetical structure, and for many centuries Georgi, Yuri, and Yegor(iy) were literally the same name. They completely separated only my the middle of 20th century, and even now—well, yeah. If your name is Georgi, there’s a good chance one day you’re going to start introducing yourself as Yura. Because a) all other diminutives are ridiculous, and b) it’s the same name, okay?
Okay. 
And then an angry ten-year-old comes to your rink and tells you in no uncertain terms that there’s only one Yura here and it’s not you.
And okay, at that point, you’re old enough to pretend that you’re so international that you’re willing to stick to your last name. Sure, calling each other by last names in Russia is rude, but Georgi’s traveled the world, right? And using your last name it perfectly appropriate in a lot of countries. Mr. Popovich, right.
Nah. 
First of all, If you read Cyrillic, you’ve already noticed that the Russian for “parrot” - “popugay” sounds a little like Georgi’s last name. It’s not the same word, Popovich comes from the word “pop” which is the same root as “Pope”, and the name literally means “son of a priest”, but have you ever seen a teenager who’d miss out on the wordplay? Gosha Popovich, seriously? And no one would use the word “popugai” itself, it’s too long and not nasty enough; everyone would go to a diminutive for that word, “popka”. It’s also a perfectly logical nickname for someone whose name is Gosha Popovich. Like, the most obvious thing in the world, if you’re thirteen. 
But wait. If “Popka” was only short for “parrot”, that would have been bad, but kind of tolerable. Parrots are okay, you grow up and get over being called a funny bird in your early teens. The problem is, that’s not the only meaning. The other meaning of the word “popka” would be “little butt”. As in, yeah, the one that’s the top of your legs. 
And poor Georgi knows that very well, because another word for the same body part would be “popa” and if Georgi’s last name is pronounced the way English speakers tend to pronounce it (and the way it’s pronounced in the dubbed version on the anime), with the stress on the first O in Popovich, instead of “son of a priest”, it suddenly sounds like—yeah. Buttovich. 
And this is why, even if Georgi never used the nickname “Gosha”, or never encountered an inventive classmate who’d want to call him a parrot, he’s still, inevitably, hyperaware of the fact that the most common mispronunciation of his last name turns his every rink mate, regardless of age, into a giggling teenager, for a good reason. And it happens every time. Every bloody time someone who doesn’t speak Russian uses Georgi’s last name, they pronounce it as “Buttovich” and everyone loses their shit.
So, you see, Georgi’s life is a daily struggle because of his name alone. If he gave up fighting Yuri for his name, he now probably insists on being called by his full first name, which, in Russia, is barely heard of (they’re all your names, what’s the big deal?) and has to go into a lot of trouble to teach each journalist to pronounce his last name right. 
So, say it again: Georgiy Popovich. There’s a y sound at the end of the first name, it’s not an orgy, either. The stress on the second o of the last name, no butts.
Daily struggle.
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jjillekkot · 7 years ago
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Rules: Answer the questions you’re given, write 11 of your own and tag 11 people.
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I have had the pleasure of being tagged three (3) times for this sweet, sweet meme so brace yourselves, apparently you’re gonna learn a ton about me today! Placing it under a cut because.... you should really be thanking me, honestly.
1. it’s late in the afternoon and you’re in a new city. do you take the train, the bus, or do you walk to get back to your place?
Am I just moving to this town? Likely, I’ve probably visited before so I would have a sense of how to use the transportation. Or, Google Maps is pretty handy! I actually enjoy walking most places if it’s available to me; otherwise, I’m a train kinda girl. I’ll take the bus if I have to. I’m very positive towards public transportation and energy efficiency. Reduce that carbon footprint!
2. what’s your dream place to live (city or country? continent? in land or by the sea? cold or warm?)?
Okay, but... gonna go cheesy and say with my loved one. ‘Cause I’d honestly survive with any climate as long as I’m with them.
Assuming I’m single af and forever alone, or at least living on my own for a while? I’m definitely a larger city kind of girl, or near access to a large city. I wouldn’t mind living in a suburb and then commuting to the city, actually. I love nature, but I don’t want to be isolated in it for too long. I spent three months in a literal jungle. I’ve had my share of country times.
Also, having lived near Wisconsin-- I am way over the winter. I’m fine if I don’t see a lot of snow. I actually do enjoy rain, though. 
3. what’s one of your favorite threads across any of the muses you have ever played?
One of the earliest threads I’ve written on this blog was with @argentnoir​ & it was just kind of like a slow burn / pining kind of deal? Where Tseng acknowledges that Yuffie is up to be empress of Wutai and how inappropriate it is as one who has actively abandoned his nation that he would support her. So he tries to deny and reject any feelings which might surface for her, while Yuffie is  very much a “ forget protocol, I like you. ” I really liked that dynamic of how Tseng knew what was right for the nation even if he no longer belonged to it, and Yuffie was very “you belong to me, therefore you belong to Wutai.” 
I’m weak for Tsuffie okay like let me die with this ship.
4. five songs you’d love to share with people?
manzions // gorgeous. while my apartment was being renovated a few months back, i rented a room in an ex-friend’s house ( we were cool in high school but after that we grew apart ). anyway, the walls were paper thin & whenever i was depressed or crying or something, he would always play this song.
joji // will he. okay but a surprise twitter bop? also let him move on from his previous persona ok. yeesh. people are allowed heelturns. anyway, so this song is so mellow & i dig it, but also it just reminds me of the type of music a friend of mine used to send me all the time when we like... stopped being super close. that was their way of reaching out, was sending songs. and like. idk joji’s character / the lyrics super just make me think of that friend ‘cause that’s definitely what that friend would say to me, if he felt confident enough to ever use the words.
yakuza 0 // 24h cinderella. this is a guilty pleasure song. in case y’all didn’t know, i love rgg / yakuza almost as much as i love jojo ( that’s saying a lot ) & majima makes my life better okay. i am annoying & go around singing this. i’m pretty sure i’ve sang this like every week since release. i probably could use some help lmao.
utada hikaru // forevermore. don’t sleep on this song. idc if you didn’t see the show. i know everyone’s still screaming about omen / don’t think twice but i’ve been screaming about forevermore since she came back from retirement. bless hikki. also here’s a tissue for your eyeballs.
yumi kawamura // burn my dread. before we were shook over lyn inaizumi & shihoko hirata, we were all dying over yumi. who, by the way, is my literal queen ok. every time i see a persona concert online i sob profusely when yumi is on stage. i own the p4d soundtrack & i sobbed through her tracks on there too. honestly that was my most played music of 2016, that soundtrack. her voice is beautiful in every song, but i had to pick one, so why not the intro to p3 so we can all sob profusely. you’re welcome.
i would’ve put sono chi no sadame but i need to be tamed. i will, however, put the link to jojo’s first six intros performed live, though. that’s a real masterpiece that should go on the big screen. man, what i would do to go to a jojo concert.
5. are you good at math? (if so, why are you a nerd?)
i am rather proficient at math, actually. i wanted to go into medicine at one point, then psychology. you need a background in statistics to do that. but i also showed an interest in calculus, despite being terrible at physics and three-dimensional art. i studied it into high school, but gave it up in college to pursue language and fine arts instead. 
6. were you a goosebumps kid or an ‘are you afraid of the dark’ kid?
goosebumps. though i’ll admit i read the books more than watching either show.
7. how many tamagotchis did you own in the past, and what were their names (if you remember)?
i never had a tamagotchi. or a neopet. that’s a whole era that goes right above me.
8. what’s one situation you want to / wish to write your muse in? 
historical drama.
9. what’s one thing you’re really proud of, either in your portrayal or yourself in life? or both! actually yeah, list two things you’re proud of, one in your portrayal and one of yourself in life! ;)
i’ve survived a lot of tough things, so i guess i’m rather proud of that. 
i’m also like... happy that i’m able to pull off a yuffie that isn’t reduced to a sex object. it’s really nice actually to see people more these days seeing her for her maturity & respecting her for the amount she’s able to achieve. even square has backed off with making her such a heavy comic relief, at least in dffoo, and that makes me really happy.
10. pc or apple? (there’s only one right answer to this question, and it’s not apple)
i only own one apple product & that’s a iPad that was given to me during college. which, it was rather useful while i was in school, but i can say i’m not really a fan of the whole “apple slowing down your devices to make you upgrade” thing. also, it’s so expensive? i’d like to get into video editing and photography, & while i’m aware i don’t need an apple to do that, i like the simplicity and interface and hardware. but.. y’all these prices & these games are too much.
also, atm i don’t use either a pc or an apple: i’m on chromebook. & it’s really efficient if you’re into blogging or writing or really minimal things, like i am. c:
11. what’s the most embarrassing muse you have ever played :-)
maximillion pegasus. i wrote him as a joke in high school. i will not bring him back for anything lmao.
1. what season is your favorite in your most favorite running tv show?
i actually don’t... watch television... the last show i tried to actually pay attention to was designated survivor. ‘cause i’m weak for kiefer sutherland. and uh? idk i like it cause it has rising climax !
i also binge watched ghost adventures so.... maybe that counts. uh?? i would say maybe seasons 10-13 were my favorite because i felt bad for billy! always sending billy off on his own & his expressions about zak “can you stop summoning demons for a second?” is always great.
2. if you were apart of a trio like the three stooges, what would your names be (can’t be curly, larry and moe)?
actually, @lockedfighter​ & @crystarium-rose​ & i are the powerpuffs. i’m buttercup.
3. you’re a sailor scout, which one are you and why?
i love haruka for her ability to subvert gender roles. i’m really into androgyny & i don’t think my biological sex should limit my physical capabilities or interests. i also have short hair. however, people tend to liken me to ami, minako, & makoto.
4. what is your favorite mode of transportation and why?
jeeps with the doors off ! also tuk-tuk and motorbike. what a thrill !
5. what is a fruit you love but hate any byproduct made in its flavor (ie: grapes, love the fruit but hate grape flavored drinks or candies)?
cherry flavored things are always too strong for me.
6. you’ve lost one of your five senses, which one is it?
uh... smell? though tbh in the transition of winter to spring, it’s a combination of smell and taste because my throat closes off when lilacs bloom & i have to use throat numbing spray lmao.
7. you’re superman for a day, which one of his powers do you abuse the most?
laser vision. burn baby burn, disco inferno.
8. a favorite book you enjoy has comes to life and you are sucked into that world. what book is it and what character are you in that book?
that would be highly problematic considering my options would be the divine comedy or jojo. assuming i’m jojo.... i’d love to be caesar zeppelli when he first meets joseph. that’s quality.
9. do you have a birthday this month, when is it?
my birthday is july 23.
10. i just burnt your favorite dish trying to make it for you, what was the dish suppose to be?
if you burn pasta i’m kind of wary of you tbh.
11. you just got a very pretty parrot, what is the first word you teach it?
“ hewwo. ” i blame apollo entirely.
1. what’s your favourite comfort food ?
gummi bears !!! that’s not a comfort food? then mashed potatoes & gravy. surely that counts.
2. if you could physically go into a video game for a day, what game would you choose and why ? 
policenauts because i’m still weak for space exploration. that, or xenoblade chronicles 2 because i need to make friends with mr. turters & zeke stat.
3. what’s the first book you’ve fallen in love with ?
pretty sure it was an anthology of greek & roman mythology because i’m a nerd.
4. what’s gotten you into writing in the first place ?
i’ve been writing for like... ever. i’ve had diaries since preschool. it’s how i express myself.
5. what made you pick the character ( s ) you are currently writing ?
@lockedfighter​ “ asked ” me into writing yuffie & @kintsuggi​ asked me about writing paz.
6.  what do you cope with better : being cold or being hot ?
being cold. ‘cause i’ll just add socks and blankies & eventually fall asleep. i can only take so many clothes off. and i hate sweating. and drinking water helps to a slight extent but gawd.
7. what’s the one thing you love about your country ?
uh. can i talk about being first nations? great. i love how people who are ndn / first nations respect one another’s differences & how everyone is just “cousin”. that we’re all extended relatives of one another and support people in whatever they might need. i love that solidarity.
8. can you list five things that you love about yourself ?
i’m nice. i care about others. i help others the best i can. sometimes i can be cute. i’m smol & fit into places.
9. what’s your favourite tv show and why ?
24 because it’s action, espionage, justice & i’m weak for kiefer sutherland.
10. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why ?
probably my body because it brings me a lot of unhappiness.
11. if you could become a mythical creature, what would it be ?
a fairy. i would love to be like navi. “ hey, listen! watch out ! ”
TAGGED BY: @smashkick​ & @fcragil​ & @re-no​ ( this is why people think i’m popular i betcha. )
i do not possess the concentration to ask people 11 questions BUT if you wanna just talk about yourself, feel free to tag yourself in that lmao.
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o0o-chibaken-o0o · 8 years ago
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Hello love, could you rec me your favourite 8th year fics on ao3?
Hello yourself! YES, I can absolutely do this and honestly I feel like I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life. I am OBSESSED with 8th year fics and I hope I can recommend at least a few you haven’t read already! :)
*warning*: This is an Extremely Long List. It is in literally no order because I love all of these fics so much it is as if they are my own children and I couldn’t possibly rank them
Unexpected Consequences by Lauren3210 (39K)- Harry was going back to school. He was going to play Quidditch, sleep in lessons, hang out with his friends, and generally just enjoy being a kid for a change. And he was also going to do it while being bonded with Malfoy, because apparently life was just going to continue throwing curveballs at him. Harry didn’t know why he expected anything different.This is one of the first fics I ever read and I still remember it clearly; it was THAT good! As an alternative to Azkaban, Draco is allowed to attend Hogwarts provided he agrees to a bond with Harry that makes him to do whatever Harry says. Naturally, once the feelings start this causes a lot of worrying and angst and klsfhd it’s just really really good! Also did I mention they share a private room? I know I can’t be the only one who lives for that.
Right Hand Red by lumosed_quill (73K)- Harry felt Malfoy’s breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory. Except that Malfoy no longer felt like his enemy. Malfoy felt inevitable.Another of the first ever fics I read (and reread!) and MAN IS IT FUCKING AMAZING. The lust starts right from the beginning and there are *lots* of party games and a secret relationship and sweet moments and teaching of patronus charms and *sigh* I just want to go read it again right now!
Lumos by birdsofshore (41.5K)- Harry never expected to spend eighth year listening to Draco Malfoy wanking.FABULOUS fic in which they are roommates and then Draco wanks and then Harry wanks and then Draco and Harry wank at the same time, and then there are feelings!! A thousand times yes.
Strange Bathfellows by Bixgirl1 (27.5K)- It started with a bath. Or a potions accident. Or maybe it started before that, but who can tell anymore.Featuring: Uncomfortable wanking, more comfortable wanking, mutual wanking, bath sharing, inappropriate betting, secret shagging, those secrets at Hogwarts that everyone knows, and oblivious Harry who knows one thing: he’s falling in love.Harry and Draco being forced to share a bath is everything I never knew I needed until I was blessed enough to find this fic. @bixgirl1 has MANY truly ✨FABULOUS✨ eighth year fics (for example Instruction for a Misplaced Slytherin (8.5K) in which Draco teaches Harry about sex and In Evidence of Magical Theory (43.5K), which features forced bonding) and you should definitely read them all, but Strange Bathfellows remains my favorite! :)
He Was He and I Was Bunny by bryoneybrynn (37.5K)- The war is over and “eighth year” is about to begin at Hogwarts. But for Harry and Draco, nothing is quite the same. Harry’s looking for an escape, Draco’s looking for a friend. Does a little black bunny hold the answers for both of our boys?This fic combines two of my favorite tropes: eighth year and animagus transformations! And just… Harry is a freaking bunny??? A bunny who Draco pets and loves and OMG I’m melting just thinking about it.
Tug-O-Want by dysonrules (16.5K)- Harry is back at Hogwarts minding his own business when he finds himself magically drawn to Draco Malfoy. Over and over again.*Something* is making Harry feel a tug that keeps leading him to Draco and I don’t want to spoil anything but honestly isn’t that enough for you to be already hooked???
Don’t Think Twice (series) by firethesound (all together 28.5K)- Harry was just trying to get away for a while. He didn’t mean to get trapped in the Prefect’s Bath with Draco Malfoy.Were you perhaps interested in some porn, anon? Because this series is INCREDIBLY hot! Harry, under the invisibility cloak, finds himself trapped with Draco, who is doing some very interesting and compelling things to himself with a very interesting and compelling object. Unfortunately, the series is incomplete and last updated in 2014 but (and keep in mind I usually can’t stand reading WIPs) it’s totally worth the read anyway because PORN guys, PORN
How to Handle an Enemy and Turnabout is Fair Play by who_la_hoop  (18.5K)- Everyone knows that it’s no fun playing truth or dare with a Slytherin. But add a little Veritaserum, a scheming duo of Slytherin girls and surprising things can be revealed. Particularly about the fine line between love and hate…MORE PORN, and honestly some of the hottest I’ve ever read (and quite kinky!). I remember exactly where I was the moment I realized that I probably should have saved this one for when I was not in such a very public place. And as a bonus (ha), there’s plot too!! It is just oh-so-delicious! And the sequel is just as good! Again though, the series is not technically complete. But while I would be overjoyed to see another sequel someday, the two works stand well on their own and shouldn’t leave you unsatisfied at all! (Also I just reread them both while making this list because I couldn’t stop myself and they’re also super funny???? And just? great????)Also I should note that who_la_hoop is one of my all-time favorite writers and I already mentioned Written on the Heart (in which Draco has a soul mark with Harry’s name) in my angst-with-a-happy-ending list. It is also eighth year! And there are more great eighth year fics by her, read them allllll!
At the End of the Day by sara_holmes (7.5K)- No brooms, a distinct lack of balls, no comprehension of the offside rule and a Malfoy who apparently has magic feet. Harry never knew this stupid game could be so much fun.This is a short, really lovely fic that stands out to me because of its plot being so different from that of most eighth-year fics! In a good way though, because who doesn’t love a bit of Harry watching Draco be really really good at football?? Shirts vs skins anybody? ;)Also I already recced Mental by sara_holmes in my slow-burn rec list, but it absolutely deserves mention here too because it is one of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE eighth year fics of all time! Also Get Some (link to google drive) which is not on AO3, but which IS absolutely fucking brilliant! Harry is drawn to Draco because he’s the only one after the war who refuses to put up with Harry’s shit.
Let Me Be Your Voice by Queenie_Mab (47.5K)- As the hero of the revolution, Harry leads the wizarding world in its efforts to rebuild; but first old wounds must be tended, rifts caused by hate mended, and his history with Draco Malfoy seems like the perfect place to start.This fic is great. First Harry finds a very *ahem* interesting use for Draco’s wand. And then when they get to school Draco isn’t talking for some reason (ooo intrigue!), and Harry is Very Concerned. Plenty of UST, some hurt/comfort, some kink, just really great!
Don’t mind if I keep your tie (and your heart, babe) by Ingi (21.5K)- The Eighth year common room has a parrot in it, courtesy of McGonagall and her mad search for interhouse bonding.Most of the time, it’s just there, until one day it repeats “Potter has a damn fine arse.” And the Slytherins know exactly who the parrot’s mimicking…Draco is not amused.All of the eighth years are sharing a common room with a literal parrot. Need I really say more?
Good Company by Greenflares (8K)- With Hermione and Ron always together, Harry’s return to Hogwarts to complete his education isn’t exactly fun. Somehow, it’s his unlikely friendship with Malfoy that keeps him sane.This fic is pretty short, but something about it made me absolutely fall in love and fangirl all over it for days! I wanted to read it again immediately upon finishing! For some inexplicable reason it also gave me this sense of nostalgia for High School and falling in love as a teenager, which I was alllll about. Definitely read this one if you haven’t.
Love Comes Tumbling by taradiane (22K)- ‘Harry’s thoughts were of how much he would have done differently with Malfoy over the years, and of Dumbledore’s final words to the other boy … “It is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now.” Maybe, Harry wondered, he could find some mercy, too, and give Malfoy the second chance that Dumbledore had believed him worthy of.’Basically Draco is being ostracized, and Harry notices and wants to help. Ron and especially Hermione are not very understanding, but Harry doesn’t let that stop him from befriending Draco! There is some angst, and slow-burn, and the Room of Requirement and coming out and…just yes!
1,000 Points From Gryffindor by blithelybonny (25K)- The story of how Harry Potter single-handedly lost Gryffindor the House Cup while attempting to have a “normal” year at Hogwarts. Featuring Harry’s suspicious nature turned up to eleven again, a new DADA teacher who is so not here for Harry’s fame, multiple detentions, Slytherins being sneaky, Hufflepuffs being sneakier, and the mystery of Draco Malfoy’s hoodie because seriously Hermione who gave that to him and is he wearing it just to torment me? This is ridiculous!AAGH DRACO MALFOY IS WEARING A HUFFLEPUFF HOODIE???!?!? Does this idea intrigue you as much as it does Harry?? Don’t you just NEED to know WHY?? If you want to solve this particular mystery you’ll just have to read this amazing fic!
In Your Arms, Rests My World by loveglowsinthedark (24K)- Harry presses his mouth to Malfoy’s forehead; he wants to tell him that he’ll never leave, that he wouldn’t dream of it.“You make me feel safe, Potter” Malfoy whispers. “You keep me safe.”UGH THIS FIC! I honestly should have recced this one on the heavy angst with a happy ending list because it is SO ANGSTY there is the middle and I HATED IT and I HATE @l0vegl0wsinthedark FOR DOING IT TO ME (read: amazing, beautifully written fic with tons of feels and I was SO SO invested and I loved it so much; go read it ASAP so you can cry with me). Tip: while reading, keep in mind that there is a super fluffy short sequel that will soothe all of your pain! Warning for rape (not h/d).
The Owl Who Came for Christmas by dracogotgame (17.5K)- Draco has a debt to pay off, no matter what Potter thinks. And he has a Very Good Idea to go along with it. Things don’t go as planned.OMGGGG Draco is an animagus and guess what he becomes?! Srsly, guess!!! Okay, I’ll tell you. An OWL, a lovely fucking OWL who delivers very sweet presents to Harry and eilwryudksj it’s just so cute and lovely and sweet!!
Also I just want to recommend every single eighth-year fic by Faithwood, who is in my opinion the queen of fluff (and often fluffy smut)! If you sort eighth-year HD fics by kudos on AO3, hers make up about half of the front page so OBVIOUSLY they are all required reading! 
And lastly(!!) idk if this violates some sort of etiquette, but I thought I’d mention that I myself have written three fics, and they are all eighth year! Unbearable is really short and fluffy and about Draco being dared to kiss Harry, All You Want for Christmas is Me features Draco wearing nothing but a big red ribbon, and His Little Something is basically a bunch of Harry failing to resist slutty Draco and me indulging my HUGE (heh) love of size kink. And…I think they’re…good? I hope? Read them and let me know?? ;D
Wow this became SO LONG and yet there are still about a billion other eighth year fics that I could rec! But I’ll stop here and keep this list mildly readable :D ENJOY!! 😁😁😁
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santmat · 7 years ago
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Drowning in Religious Distractions, Ignoring the Living Ones, Not Finding the Path, by James Bean
His disciples said to him: "Twenty-four prophets spoke in Israel, and they all spoke through you!" He said to them: "You have passed over Him who is living in front of your eyes, and have spoken of the dead!" (Saying 52, Gospel of Thomas)
"Seek to see Him who is living, while you are living; rather than to die and to seek to see Him only when you can no longer see Him." (Saying 59, Gospel of Thomas)
Commentary
Minds held captive by religious or other esoteric traditions keep looking backwards in time, to past masters, or prophets no longer with us, and ignore those Living Ones with us now here in the living present. Without the Living Teacher, there is no real student or classroom, the secrets of meditation are not successfully communicated, and nothing much gets done during this life in terms of spiritual progress. The Living Path remains a Path not taken, a road not traveled upon.
The same need that brought great souls into the world during past centuries is still with us. There are Living Masters in the world today. The reality and not the illusion of having a Guru, begins here, with this openness to the possibility of Living Ones Now.
“When we receive initiation from a Saint, practice Naam Simran to retrace our consciousness from toes to a spot behind the eyes [Third Eye Center], only then something is accomplished.” (Baba Kehar Singh)
“So long as a spirit does not rise above the body-consciousness, it remains a stranger to the spiritual realms beyond”. (Rumi)
This mystic-poem by Tulsi Sahib of Hathras, India beautifully reflects upon the inward journey of the soul back to God:
Within this body breathes the secret essence. Within this body beats the heart of the Vedas.
Within this body shines the entire Universe, so the saints say.
Hermits, ascetics, celibates – all are lost seeking Him in endless guises.
Seers and sages perfectly parrot the scriptures and holy books, blinded by knowledge.
Their pilgrimage, and fasting, and striving but delude. Despite their perfect practice, they discover no destination.
Only the saints who know the body’s heart have attained the Ultimate, O Tulsi.
Realize this, and you’ve found your freedom (while teachers trapped in tradition know only the mirage in the mirror).
A Living Master is a Light in Your Darkness, and Light Leading to More Light
“As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a Light of meaning in the darkness of mere being.” (Carl Jung) That’s very close to the definition of Guru according to Hinduism: “one who takes the darkness away”, or is, in other words, a “Light-giver”. The role of the genuine spiritual Master is to escort us into Heavenly Realms so we may have our own experience of the divine and see for ourselves the beauty that up to now has remained hidden.
When we sit for meditation and gaze into the darkness with eyes closed, we’re encountering the world of "within”, opening up to the possibility of seeing via the Third Eye, also known as the Wisdom Eye. This is the Portal or Door to the Kingdom of the Heavens that are inside. This is what Rumi and the Masters are attempting to show us. For those taught the methods of meditation practice by a qualified living teacher and spiritual guide, we soon will discover that the darkness is no longer dark. There is a pinpoint of light, and an inner sky, inner stars, moons, suns, many colors, dark voids, and tunnels that go into the Light.
As the saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher shall appear.” A living teacher, being fully acquainted with the 'landscape’ of Inner Space, is able to impart to initiate-candidates valuable guidance on how to safely make the journey of ascension to the Inner Regions during meditation. This kind of spiritual transmission and the details of meditation practice are not found in books, old scriptures of the past, and are not for sale, but are given freely.
We also will discover during extended periods of meditation that there is Sound coming from beyond the silence. “When I am silent, I fall into the place where everything is Music,” says Rumi. “Bring the sky beneath your feet and listen to Celestial Music everywhere.” (Rumi) Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche has a great description of the Inner Sound in his book, Mind Beyond Death: “It is easiest to hear this Sound when it is quiet, particularly at nighttime. Once you have identified this Sound, then you place your awareness on it without wavering. Resting your mind in the Sound, you continue to listen, going further and further into the Sound itself.”
Some Living Words From Swami Vyasanand
"A serious seeker has to prepare a fertile ground within his or her inner Self. The prerogative of God-realization and attainment of the vision of the Divine only belongs to the atman (inner Self) or consciousness within the body. However, it is not possible to accomplish this while engrossed in the distractions of the mind and the body. It is only possible by freeing us of these distractions while living in the body. To liberate us from the sensory distractions is not an easy task. However, it can be achieved with the grace of the Satguru (true teacher). For this, a practitioner must be determined, morally upright, and follow the instruction of the Guru. Without these, it is impossible to obtain the grace of the Guru. The practitioner can only diligently perform sadhana (literally, exertion to attain an objective, meditation, spiritual practice), but only the grace of the Guru yields success in the endeavor.
"To attain the due rewards of sadhana it is important to follow the Gurus' instruction vigilantly and steadfastly. Resolve means: not wavering from the path in any situation...
"It is important that a student should cultivate these qualities. Without the grace of the teacher, progress on the spiritual path and attainment of the Divine is not possible.
"A seeker should pay attention to five factors:
1. Receive the teachings of the Guru with great attentiveness.
2. After listening to the teaching, learn the esoteric techniques (diksha, initiation) from the Guru for treading the spiritual path.
3. Make a diligent effort to succeed in the tests presented by the Guru.
4. Joyfully endure the trials and obstacles on this arduous path.
5. Cultivate patience and perseverance.
"Just as a traveler withstands the pains of the journey and calmly endures the delays of the train and discomforts of the railway station, in the same manner, the spiritual traveler on the Divine path, although not seeing the Divine for many years, does not waiver from the path. Rather, the seeker endures the delay, and keeping faith in the Guru’s words, enthusiastically waits for the moment of Divine realization.
"Infinite knowledge is like an ocean with unlimited water. The ocean makes its water available to anyone who wishes to draw from it. However, the person who wants to draw water from the ocean is only limited by the capacity of his vessel for carrying the water. It is not the fault of the ocean if humans are limited in their capacity to draw water. Those who have bigger vessels have the capacity to carry the most water. In the same way, humans vary in their capacities to draw from the Divine Ocean of knowledge. In the words of Sant Maharshi Mehi: 'All the Sants are said to be impartial and are equally compassionate toward all beings and their grace showers like the rain, equally on everyone. Nevertheless, just as the flowing rainwater gathers only in the deep hollow places, the grace of Saints gathers in the hearts of those disciples whose hearts are emptied from worldly distractions and whose devotion is deep. They are ready to receive the grace of the Guru.'"  (Swami Vyasanand, from his recently published book, The Inward Journey of the Soul)
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