#its like. nightmarish
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see i wanna talk to u guys more and be fr friends but ihave no clue how to go abr it. 1 on 1 talk terrifies me and i feel like just dming ppl wouldbe weird and even if it wasnt id still be rly scared 2 do it. but i also cant just post like Everybody tlk to me bc wheni see posts like that im like They mean everybody except for me. which is nonsense it says everybody yk... but i get worried nd i feel like others do too. i have a discord server But it scares me so i never talk in there.. this is the devil speaking but i wish still went to school and was just forced to be around ppl thatd be so much easier
#i hope once i get my job Even tho it wont be a social job. hopefully ill get mlre used to being around ppl again..#bc i just. idk. i get viscerally uncomfortable if im in a room with someone yk. bc i start thinking sbt every movement i make#and it makes me feel too big and like im taking up too much space even if im like. on the complete opposite side of the room#im like Oh im annoying them im in their space and it makes me nervous and then i bumble and i bump into things and i knock things over and#its like. nightmarish#thats also what a lot of my nightmares r abt its abt ppl just observing me doing something#but i keep knocking things over and bumping into things and stumbling#and like. i turn to quickly an things fall behind me and then i hsve to turn to see what fell (humiliating)#it feels like when i do my walking on the balls of my feet except that thats a fun autism activity for me#but like. the strain and the stress of all my muscles. it feels like that#where everything is judt stressing and light touching and then i get rly scared Basically#and online i just get terrified of being likee. idk#i hate hate hate being misinterpreted and i need to get over it bc likee. yr gonna be misinterpreted sometimes#sometimes ppl r gonna misunderstand and theyll either ask for clarification or just go sith their beliefs and both of those r FINE#but it like. idk it makes me feel sick knowing that people have an idea of me in their heads that i cant control#like. forreal sick. i hate knowing that i could exist in peoples heads outside of when theyre in mine yk#like if im not actively talking to or thinking abt someone knowing that they could be thinking abt me. nauseous#which is stupid and controlling. i exist and ppl perceive me and thats FINE im allowed to exist snd theyre allowed to think about me#but also it scares me bc idk what theyre thinking and they could be thinking anything. ym#ok anyways irs bedtime sryyy. potatos tmrw#meme imsge DOES ANYONE KNOW IF WE HAVE POTATOS TOMORROW? the answer? yes
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didnt plan on posting this today originally but decided that it actually fits really well with the beginning of the spooky season, so!
a fake doai movie poster inspired by posters for movies 'a short film about love' and 'on the silver globe', both by andrzej pągowski! and just for fun i also made a version with a shoddy polish title, how authentic am i right
#doodlesoup#doai#dreams of an insomniac#pastra#pastraspec#i love tags cause i can share additional stuff here while not feeling like im rambling too much#anyway lankmanns 'eyes' are actually the sun and moon and im mentioning it mostly cause i feel like it aint really obvious..#theyre both out cause i wanted the landscape of eastridge to look more surreal. one could almost say.. you know.. like a dream#one of an insomniac even#also to anyone curious the pl title is “town of hallucinations”#i had to get a little creative since the word 'insomniac' doesnt quite exist in polish#so i decided to keep the general vague vibe of the original title while trying to allude to the actual story#i also wanted to make it a little cringey and weird since thats how most of translated titles are i feel#in that sense its also inspired by the pl title of the fnaf movie which is basically “five nightmarish nights”#questionable but kinda charming yknow?#anyway im stopping the yapping session here lmao can yall tell im really autistic about translations?
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a lot of clipping to fix, but hey I got it moving at least! I'll get the Telvanni robe properly physic'd if it's the last thing I do >:0
#last i checked the vanilla hdt clothes on the nexus didn't cover solstheim content#but i wanted to finally learn to do proper hdt bones myself anyway so its fine :)#this was a nightmarish mess before i separated the black underskirt to its own group#now it swishes around nicely and collides without going through the red outer skirt#i still haven't figured out the crouching/sneaking problem where it'll sometimes phase through the thighs like they don't exist#but that seems to happen to other people's outfits too so maybe it's not just mine? idk yet lol#hmmm i think that back flap thing with the gold trim is gonna have to be separated too. it stretches out weirdly :/#also. should the scarf get to move? maybe just the dangling ends?#bc the rest can't really move since there's nothing under the scarf. it's just glued at the edges to the chest of the outfit#which is good bc it's optimized well so the game isn't rendering the neck part of the robes that you don't even see#but I'd have to create new faces on the mesh to fill in the unseen gaps like i did when splitting the skirts up#and also i'm too lazy to map that new fancy chest area and draw out the missing texture with all the telvanni swirls :'(#help me motivation gods#modding stuff#my posts#i want nelly to be able to swish around prettily like anyone else <3#guys deserve some physic'd outfit love too
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there's a lot of really good reasons to mourn Terry Pratchett's passing so young but the one I've landed on today while rereading Reaper Man is that I desperately want to know how the Wizards or Moist and Vetinari would have handled something like Amazon.
#discworld#moist von lipwig#unseen university#terry pratchett#gnu terry pratchett#we clearly see the rise of something like the internet in going postal#so some horrible nightmarish online shopping thing is not too far off#and i just know its channeling something from the dungeon dimensions
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I don't know what I will become. No one does. But for now, I am me.
happy one month of wallaru being out. i finished this like two days after the spoiler wall dropped on test realm and have just been sitting on it ever since.
#w101#w101 fandom#wizard101#wizard101 fandom#wallaru spoilers#dasein#sal art#woe undertale quote be upon ye#DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW NIGHTMARISH IT WAS DRAWING HIS SUIT THE DAY TEST REALM CAME OUT#AND THE CUTSCENE WAS BROKEN !!!!!!!!!!!#i wasnt even at wallaru/on test realm yet i couldnt even play it. i was getting my reference images from ONE video#a video that NEVER SHOWED HIM FROM THE RIGHT SIDE#like its fine now and frankly if i wanted to redo the pattern with proper refs now that its out on live#id probably find some places where i messed up#but honestly i like how it looks here and i do NOT want to mess with it anymore. lol#how do i convey how much he means to me. literally how#wizard101 spoilers
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i’m always seeing zevrans in the tag that are like. well i guess you did colour his skin right but i know you used a white man as a reference for his actual features so i really dont think you deserve the credit
#theres this one art i see sometimes when im diving into old blogs#and it makes me SO fuming because its like. an exact photorealistic copy of a photo ive seen myself on pinterest of a white guy#and like yes the one edit is that the skin colour was changed (and the tattoo added)#but like. thats still not right.#it has like 10k+ notes. i know what you did#and these are the ones that DO match the skin tone#nightmarish out there
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guys good mojo or asks here and on @clawsextended would be SUPER appreciated. my aunt has to go to the er and i Cannot fucking take her and I’m gonna be absolutely freaked the fuck out at work trying to distract myself.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[I’m absolutely anxious beyond reason. im so nervous. like i know its not huge but everything feels nightmarish and i just… fuck me man fuck#fuck fuckety fuck fuck me i wish I could go with her.]#medical /#negativity /#[my stress levels are sky high.]
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my most insane belief is that the isabella arc could have worked if gotham treated it like old testament levels of karma for edward's actions against kristen and old testament levels of karma for oswald's gluttony of power and riches
#gotham#gotham fox#gotham 2014#nygmobblepot#edward nygma#gotham edward nygma#gotham isabella#i dont even think isabellas actions should be changed i think eds reaction to them should change#like you mean to tell me a man with pyschosis is perfectly fine after having sex with a woman dressing up as his dead gf? yeah right#that man cant consent and you know it show!#accidentally entering a abusive relationship only to have someone he cared for try to maniuplate him into dating him after it is done#i do not tihkn oswald was the only one wrong here but#do u get my vision its like its happening all over again its nightmarish almost
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i just saw a pic of live action zuko and im kinda frothing at the mouth because zukos scar in the original show is so big the shell of his ear is almost gone. His skin is melted and folding around the eye socket. the eyeball itself looks dead. the burn is in the shape of a grown mans big ass hand. its horrible looking because the nature of it is horrible and grotesque and tragic and thats the whole POINT because zuko was and is a kid and netflix is making it look like a slightly nasty black eye for aesthetic purposes or to make zukos appearance "easier to digest" for viewers or some other stupid shit im so so mad im SO mad dude
#like to dumb down the sheer horror and violence of ozais abuse. Dude#its supposed to be hard to look at. its nightmarish unimaginable abuse thats stuck on zukos face forever and he was like. a 7th grader#idek man like#atla
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guys my spider looks weird. she looks a bit gay. do you guys think she will moult out of this or will she turn even gayer ?
#orbweaver my angel........ she's such a lover#she's doing So good. she's so ready to be done mothering as well. one more week...#her claws looked Nightmarish and she was very dandruffy before. she also had a lot of scabs that came off with chunks o' fur#but she's since shed her claws (it was honestly horrible in its own right to see. they moreso Peeled away. it was yucky)#and they're looking Great now. and she really likes being brushed and wiped (she really likes getting her Ears Cleaned⁉️ unusual but good)#so no more clumps of fur just Sloughing Off. no more Ass Dandruff either. it was at the base of her tail but it's funnier to say assdandruff#like me slapping the base of dragon's tail and calling it Slapping his ass. it's Their Top Ass (normal statement)#she's got a bit of a sensitive tummy though. idk if that'll ever pass#so far we're just figuring out what she can eat that Won't make her tummy rumble and have her farting asunder#nulo fussie cat and pure harmony are all a bust in that regard. but tiki cat and wellness are good#chicken flavour stuff settled her tummy good. a couple weeks ago i just boiled chicken and gave her some#and that helped a Ton in getting her a bit more stable digestionwise#she's so sweet and purry all the time too i'm so endeared by this little lady#i love you. kitty cats.
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gender is weird bc i dont even particularly want to be seen as like, a man? but also being put in the box of being gendered as exclusively a woman is like. eugh. free me
#my ideal would just be a nebulously androgynous thing that everyone kind of avoids staring at. but that isnt feasible#and the thought of labeling myself beyond 'idk queer??? maybe bi????? i guess???' feels nightmarish#its why i was fine with any pronouns for so long because being she/her'd doesnt even particularly bug or upset me#its moreso knowing that when people irl do so its because they perceive me as a cis woman when its like. dont do that#getting accidentally misgendered by friends is like. oh well thats funny. kinda camp. sure ill part time at the she/her factory
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Love it when I spend a while drawing background details only to just *blurs the background* it’s so funny
anyway here’s seggsy chammy art,,, addicted to drawing them frfr,,,, they’re just so,,,,,,, so <3
#my art#PL Chameleon#Chammy art#*whispering* this is the most sfw spicy chameleon art I’ve ever drawn#*loud coughing*#Anyway god the amount of pink in this piece is unreal#Also like thanks to artfight I’m actually getting pretty good at backgrounds#They’re not perfect but they’re also not as nightmarish as they used to be#And they’re also rlly cool#they add flavour to my art 🔥#Also playing dressup with chammy will never not be so fun each time#They look so friggen gay in this outfit#Its great#Project Lapis
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I forgot how exhausting it is to sob, actually scream cry. it feels good and bad. my eyelids sting. i keep trying to get up and do things but everything just makes me feel sick.
#i know grieving is kinda universally difficult but like#the last time i truly needed to grieve sometjing was so long ago#this feels new again and its so hard#i just. i just keep turning around expecting to see him there#waiting for me#like it was all a bad dream#because it all happened so fast.#the animal er visit was like two hours tops. i thought id take him and theyd fix him up#get him home#i had no idea i needed to make that decision on the spot#really i had like five minutes to think about what to do for him#it was nightmarish honestly maybe thats why its not sinking in#it just all felt so cruel#i dont. i didnt want to believe it to be true#i still donr#please come home to me max#please come back i dont care if you bite me or bark at me#please just let me see you one more time
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"[NFCV] is the greatest adaptation of all time because games bad. huh" Yeah, sure feels like Everyone Knows Games Have No Story And Video Games Adaptions Are Bad, so let's completely drop any standards we have for adaptions or even just original stories.
All the while treat fans of the games as whiners who can't appreciate Art and should just be happy it got an adaption at all. Or they are fans who Knows Games Sucks, and other fans need to admit the same.
That explanation is the only reason I can understand why even Pro Critic™ who must have seen decent made media in their work, go on about a show which fail so much basic writing and treat it as a masterpiece. I can't imagine NFCV had been an original IP it would have gotten nearly as much praise it got.
Honestly not. Every single praise I've seen about NFCV hinges on the premise that the original games "didn't have much of a story" (of if they did, like CoD, it was bad). I see it in the way criticism like "it could have been more faithful to the source material" gets sneered on like "oh so you wanted Trevor to jump on platforms? You wanted a pixel style?". Like, the idea that maybe the series had lore is completely alien to these fans.
That's why I keep insisting on the genuine writing flaws of the show. Even as its own thing, it has tremendous pacing issues, characterization inconsistencies, blatant narrative favoritism, idiot plots, childish dialogue hidden under a veneer of pretentiousness, shallow themes, and disgusting implications. There's only so many times you can bleat to me that N!Isaac has the best character arc of all time (all while gleefully shitting on game Isaac ofc) before I feel like you deadass watched a different show than I did.
#anti netflixvania#like i already said this but#hazbin hotel was accused of disrespecting SA victims because it depicted nightmarish abuse with a pop song that had depressing lyrics#where was this energy when lenore said to hector that he was having fun so he shouldn't complain? and nothing in the narrative challenged i#why does this show get a pass on so many glaring issues?#how the hell did nocturne manage to be nominated for best adaptation of 2023 when it has almost nothing in common with its source material?#doesn't that come from a place of “well the source material was lacking anyway”?
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haha capitalism is a fucking hellscape anyway time to distract myself with fictional scenarios : )
#the idea that u can be with a company for like over a quarter of ur entire life and they can just drop u at any second is nightmarish#part of me misses when ‘money problems’ was just some unknown blameless disease that made my parents snappy and scared now its all too real#idk man im not built for this#ack
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The nations should be allowed to shapeshift into monstrous eldritch beings. And it should be a result of both the trauma they've faced and a reflection of how they've treated others. Because they can be beautiful things or horrid creatures. It's all a matter of how humanity, in essence, treats/sees them.
They are their people, as I've said before, and that includes their insecurities.
#hetalia#hws#hetalia headcanons#piña rambles#its a culmination of their sorrows and fears and regrets#a nightmarish form that exists within them that they try to hide away#like a monster in a cave hidden up high for centuries#if they can be beautiful angelic representations of human values virtues and dreams#they can be representative of human grief vengeance and fears too#eldritch aph nations#piña is making shit up
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