#its like how humans will sigh contently without it really meaning anything in a language

[namibozsu]

Witness my creature purr huge style

[wincore]

atlas | kim dongyoung

pairing: doyoung x reader

words: 15.4k

summary: kim doyoung has a lot of titles. student body president, music club president, favourite student of every professor who’s blessed enough to have him. in other words, he’s not your type and never will be. at least he’s a good kisser.

or, you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders and you do not know how to hold things as delicate as glass.

genre: college au, fwb au, hurt/comfort, angst, some fluff 

warnings: very suggestive content, making out, language, smoking, alcohol, mentions of sex under influence, me being pretentious,,

prompt: anonymous said: slippery + doyoung + "you can rely on me, you know." from the first dialogue link! LOVE YOU ❤️

song rec(s): playlist here !

a/n: yes it’s me experimenting out of my comfort zone again. yes you are required by law to listen to keshi while reading this hahahaha anyway writing this was painful. <3 (aka today i tried writing very complex human emotions and failed again. classic.)

In the beginning, there was no beginning. Ergo, this isn’t really a thing.

You shouldn’t be thinking of summer in Introduction to Latin. You are a good (perhaps great, if your ego allows) student after all. Here you are, though, listening to the ticking of the clock and wondering if you sigh loud enough, you won’t have to construct another sentence with the word for ‘death’. You pause to tell yourself that you shouldn’t be thinking of summer out of class either. Unremarkable; that's what it was and you don’t like unremarkable things.

When two people end up alone together, there’s not much to make of. 

“You know,” he had said, locking eyes. “We should get out of here.”

“And then what?”

“Fuck.”

So here’s the thing: this isn’t and won’t be a thing.

Doyoung has never been subtle when drunk, you found out, and he’s not as gentle as he looks. You flip the page of your notebook absentmindedly. You don’t like where your thoughts are going; the clinking of ice against glass rings in your ears again. It’s been far too long (one whole month) and you’re craving a bit of fun. You may forget yourself but you’re reaching your fingertips a little too far to call him again. More excuses pop up. See, in your world of perfection, there’s a hierarchy of things; men rank rather low. 

(Fun doesn’t.)

Here’s another thing: you forget yourself quite often. You know very well that you’re the one who continued this not-thing and now you’re daydreaming of Kim Doyoung in class hours. 

And under grey bed sheets with a tired smile, Doyoung is hard to forget. 

It was a party, it always is. That time, however, was the first party of the year Doyoung and you happened to be attending at the same time. You can’t remember who hosted it—the frat probably—but it was at a bar called the ‘The Meeting Place’ which had too many people you didn’t care about. Doyoung was there, in his laid-back glory, and you were drawn in far too easily. Being single did not help your case—and the alcohol certainly didn’t. You’re not sure if it was the gentle touches against your wrist or quick words that left his mouth or the attractive all-black get-up. All you know is that it was your mouth against his by the end of the night in a small booth, hot and impatient. Once, twice, thrice and you didn’t even need parties anymore. 

It’s not like you weren’t aware of what you were doing; it’s just that you were quick to give in—like you didn’t want to resist in the first place. And now, summer smells like Doyoung’s perfume. 

The first night had given Mr. Student Body President a near-stroke. You weren’t the type to sleep with strange (semi-acquainted) men at parties either so the morning had been full of awkward explanations to each other till you’d kissed him to shut him up (much like in a disgusting romantic comedy, minus the feelings) and somehow, it worked. He didn’t refuse and if you recall, he’d eventually pulled you closer by the waist.

You huff, twirling your pen. He’d never admit it.

You didn’t kiss so sloppily after that, unless it was to make out against a wall or while fumbling with the keys to your apartment. The lack of alcohol can bring wonders. You were a little surprised that he’d agreed—he is the Doyoung you’ve known since freshman year after all; blunt, rude, cares more for his grades than he’d ever for you. How laughable. He’s almost the same as you.

Here’s one last thing: Kim Doyoung is not and cannot be your type. 

You had the same part-time job in your second semester at a local fast food joint, and to summarize, your interactions were less than friendly. You can’t possibly count the number of times he yelled at you for trivial mistakes, and the number of times you sent angry, clipped sentences his way. So, yes, neither of you have told anyone—just acting friendly got you enough eyebrow raises.  If there’s anything worse than contradicting yourself almost directly, it’s having to explain that to your friends. So, you kept it a secret and so did he, for his own reasons.

You massage your forehead. If you think any more of this during class hours, you’re going to have to classify this as a terrible, terrible problem; like you don’t have enough already. You tune in to the lecture again, hoping it drowns out the rest of your thoughts. 

You tap your pen against the desk till you’re asked to stop by the professor. There goes your last resort. It isn’t the first time, but you breathe a sigh of relief at the hands of the clock. Casual means casual—you know it better than anyone. Maybe it would be easier if you could be more open about it. But you can’t. Your own problems aside, Doyoung would kill you if his reputation went down, even a nick. Men like that are so difficult, you curse to yourself. 

You run into Ten in the hallways, brightening at his absurdly wide grin. In fact, you haven’t seen him remotely upset since freshman year, when he couldn’t join the dance club, not because he failed the audition but because he mixed up the dates and missed it entirely. (It’s okay; he got in the next year.)

“Guess what!” he yells before you’re even in conversation range.

“What?” you yell back.

“No, guess,” he says, when you’re close enough.

You roll your eyes. “You scored a date?”

Ten deadpans. “No. I don’t even want one.”

“Loser.”

“No, you.”

“How clever.”

Ten flicks your forehead with no provocation whatsoever, making you yelp in pain. After a minute of cursing on your part, he squishes your cheeks to bring you back to reality—like he wasn’t the cause. You bite your lip to keep yourself from scowling. His hair is still light brown from the bleach, and you fix his bangs out of habit; your dumb friends are all you have at the end of the day. You sigh. They all lean on you unwittingly.

“Anyway, the news? I’m not guessing anything else,” you warn, taking a sip of your coffee.

“Well,” he draws out the syllable. “I heard- know you’re into the smart type. You know, student council kinda guys? So…”

You choke, the coffee leaving your mouth just as quick as it entered.

“Who told you that?” The laugh that leaves your mouth is forced and certainly fake but it’s the best you can do.

Ten rolls her eyes, still smiling. “I was thinking if you would be interested in a certain Park Hyungmin.”

Oh. Student body vice-president. He’s most definitely your type, with a gifted body and equally strong academic prowess—not to mention perfectly maintained tan skin and the most radiant smile you’ve ever seen in your life. 

“Oh, yeah, he’s hot,” you nod in agreement. “What do you want me to do with him?”

“He likes you. Like, totally has the hots for you. And I owe him so please help me out here.”

You furrow your brows, heaving a deep sigh.

“You...want me to go on a date with him?” you ask. 

You can oblige. Park Hyungmin is the hottest dude on campus (probably). It’s a win-win situation—in fact, it’s even better. A certain bitter taste finds itself in your mouth. It must be the coffee. You swallow it. 

“Yeah.”

And the deal’s done.

It was casual commitment, like most things you do for fun. You don’t think much of it, and the thought takes its final bow when you run into Doyoung himself.

Well, sort of.

You turn heel when he appears in your line of sight, pretending to fix your hair against a damn wall. You aren’t quite ready to face him yet, considering the coffee hasn’t kicked in—it’s not healthy how much you depend on it. Dependence is different, however, from consciously drowning yourself in it. 

See, Doyoung is anything but tolerable without a few shots of vodka. Or after sex. Or when he’s mumbling in his sleep. And you can’t erase any of those scenes. This is you trying to save yourself (and Doyoung) from embarrassment and a whole lot of explanation.

His coat looks expensive and you’d rather he had it on instead of on his arm. The tucked-in sweater and pants combo accentuates the line of his waist and the colour—you wonder where he found a teal so fitting—looks serene in the crowd. He’s wearing his glasses though, looking a little less put together than usual. Still, no one seems to notice and he continues to explain something to his group of friends.

God forbid you find Doyoung attractive during daytime.

His lips are chapped but pink as ever, the hair messed up by either the wind or his friends—you should stop staring by now. You give in. You’ll text him to book a hotel room tonight.

Sometimes you wonder how he has that large a friend circle, and always, the question answers itself. Eloquence, wit and regrettably, good looks—what does he lack? Maybe if he lost the habit to nag people around fifty-six times a day, he’d be the perfect man.  

An arm slings over your shoulder, punting the soul right out of your body.

“Fuck, Johnny, don’t do that,” you hiss, placing your hand over your chest involuntarily. 

The head of the photography club apparently spends his time terrorizing everyone he remotely knows. You make a foul expression but iIt’s not like he ever minds your scowling. He says he’s had enough practice from teasing Doyoung (and you’ll admit, it’s the only time you feel sorry for him). You were certain Doyoung would have filed him for harassment sometime in sophomore year. 

“What are you even looking at?” Johnny asks, raising an eyebrow at the plain offwhite expanse of the wall in front of you.

You feel hot at the neck. “I was fixing my hair.”

“In front of a wall?”

You click your tongue. “Do you not have class?”

“Oh, don’t be so quick to send me off.” He places a hand over his chest in mock hurt, fingers stretched delicately. 

To your dismay, the rest of his friends gather around giving you happy greetings—greetings only carefree college boys are capable of delivering. To your further dismay, Kim Doyoung arches an eyebrow at you, the same way he does on nights you’re doing things less than appropriate to think of in broad daylight.

“Hey, Doyoung, don’t you have anything to say? Or were you too drunk to remember?”

You bite down on your lip a little too hard. Doyoung, on the other hand, looks like he’s just seen God, stammering out a “what?” nevertheless.

“Weren’t you supposed to buy (name) a drink for driving you home that night?”

“Right,” he says, clearing his throat.

Oh, he’s bought you a drink enough times. Summer has waned but whatever thread you tied around your wrists hasn’t. Right now, your guess is that Doyoung has been ensnared in the common ritual for college boys to walk around campus and declare their friend is single just to embarrass him (or by some miracle, score him a date).

Everything, apart from the way you look at Doyoung, feels like a charade. You shake your head with a quick laugh, smacking Johnny in the arm and pay your condolences to Doyoung—keep it light. You’re good at it, or pretending you’re good at it, at the very least.

Doyoung’s gaze on you lingers for a moment and then you breathe. You’re going to be late for class—you offer the classic excuse and you’re out of there. In a way, it’s exciting. You’ve always wanted to have a secret relationship, even if this isn’t a real one. 

Doyoung is like the summer breeze, and you’d like for him to stay that way.

The next time you grace each other’s presence is when Doyoung’s tongue is in your mouth and his hands are running up under your shirt. 

He’s quite a pretty sight—messy hair, red lips and rosy cheeks. He moans into the kiss as he has quite a few times now and there’s the lovers’ high running through either of your minds. When he presses his lips to your neck, a soft restrained sound escapes you, not quite prepared for the sting of electricity through your skin. He moves to your collarbone and shoulders and then even lower, hands gripping your waist tight. The walls do not have ears here; these hotels are cheap but they’re built for privacy and maybe you’ll let yourself believe for once that you can belong to someone.

“Why did you text me in the middle of the goddamn night?” he mutters against the base of your neck.

“You want reasons now?” you whisper, hands running through his hair.

Doyoung has pretty fingers, pressing at the right places and prettier eyes that look at you with something akin to, dare you say it, love. He kisses you like he hasn’t had enough; and it makes you feel important.

He’s even better when he’s annoyed.

You wake up at around five in the morning. Propping yourself up on one arm, you take a moment to look at your partner. It’s easy to make out the line of his nose against the pillow, and if you focus, you can see his lashes against his cheek and his dark mop of hair clinging to his forehead. However gentle the moonlight is, it is kindest on a lover. 

Funny.

Too tired to sneak out, you go back to sleep.

“All I’m saying is that you have too much coffee,” Doyoung complains, slipping on his loose black sweatshirt. “It can’t be good for your health.”

You shake your head, scrolling through your phone as you lay on your belly. You’ve seen this view enough times—his back to you and sitting at the opposite edge of the bed, his incessant complaints and opinions about something that happened recently, running his hand through his hair when he sighs. You press on the calendar app and type in a note labeled ‘x’. Keeping tabs isn’t a bad thing; especially if you like order. Spending too many nights with someone is going to land you in trouble. That said, if you could trap love in a bottle, you would.

“You taste like coffee,” Doyoung adds with reddening ears.

Sometimes, it’s easy to ignore what he says if you listen to the sound of his voice instead. You sit up, scooting closer as Doyoung shoots you an alarmed look. He’s so cute like this; something about all the painted fences he puts up around him makes you want to lean in closer.

“So,” you poke his side. “How many relationships have you been in? Proper ones.”

“Three,” he answers, to your surprise.

Your eyebrows shoot up. “That’s more than I’ve been in!”

Doyoung furrows his. “How many have you been in?”

“One.”

He seems equally surprised but doesn’t probe further. After all, the price sticker that spells ‘youth’ clings to his forehead just as it clings to yours. 

“How many people have you fucked?” you ask suddenly, enjoying the visible flush across his neck.

“You’re doing this on purpose,” he notes, flicking your forehead.

“Ow!” You place your palm against your forehead. “Okay, I get it, you have nothing to brag about.”

He shakes his head, an exasperated sigh leaving him. “I just don’t think you have to know. I like privacy.”

“Wait.” You gasp. “Don’t tell me- That night- don’t tell me you were a virgin—”

Doyoung squishes your cheeks between his thumb and forefinger, a laugh erupting from your mouth. 

“Who’s a virgin?”

Nothing about this, you find yourself realizing, is complicated. It’s easy, gentle, natural, like a breath of fresh air—everything but complicated. Even under dim lights and within the depths of night, Doyoung is warm and uncomplicated. His chest, his hands, his lips—they are warm, as are his words. 

But Doyoung is a fucking fairytale.  

Even after these few months, all you know about him, in the definitive format, is that he plays the keys for more hours than he sleeps. What he does for fun, what his classes are, how he became student body president—you could play guessing games all night.

“Do your friends know where you spend your nights?” you ask, leaning back against the pillows.

“They know what I’m doing, not who I’m with,” he responds, running his fingers through his hair.

You purse your lips. It’s nothing hurtful but you don’t like the hush-hush in his tone.

“Why not?”

“Because this is a secret,” he responds as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. “Do you want them to know?”

He’s right.

“Ah, whatever,” you mutter, a stream of curses following when your elbow collides hard with the edge of the bedside table. 

“Your mouth is filthy.” He looks away to his phone. “I don’t swear as much.”

“Well, of course it is. I had your—”

Doyoung presses his palm against your lips with a tired sigh. “Please. Don’t speak. For the sake of my sanity.”

You smile under his hand and he returns it; and the November morning warms up.

“Where were you last night?”

You were expecting the question. Areum is the worst possible candidate for a roommate if you want some privacy. You don’t think she ever sleeps; sometimes, you wonder if she even showers because all she does is stare at her laptop screen and adjust her designs. Her lips are always chapped and her hair is always in a simple low ponytail but somehow still messy. You’ve never met someone so exhausted yet so full of life at the same time.

“Who were you with last night?” Eunji yells from the bathroom, before the two of them laugh.

You knew you shouldn’t have stayed the morning. You have the nosiest roommates anyone could (not) ask for. But they’re still your friends, you tell yourself begrudgingly. You would tell them about Doyoung if it weren’t for Eunji’s big mouth and Areum’s lack of common sense. And if it weren’t for the inherent comfort of privacy.

(Some part of you wants to keep him to yourself. You don’t care about student council president Doyoung or his friend group’s everything-regulator Doyoung or always-has-his-shit-together Doyoung. The one in your bed is the most loving.)

Areum adjusts her glasses, narrowing her eyes at you. “So? Any answer?”

You break out of your daydream at her voice, feeling a flush creep up your neck.

“I don’t have to explain anything,” you retort, snatching the coffee she brewed from the tabletop. “It was a Friday night and the two of you like Netflix more than me.”

“That’s mine,” Areum mumbles out a weak complaint.

“But don’t go out alone,” Eunji whines. “It can’t be safe.”

You laugh. “You know me. I don’t do anything too dangerous. Besides, you guys have that tracker app.”

They shrug, offering you a thin smile. A part of you is happy that they trust you but another part wonders what it would be like to be worried over. Maybe getting nagged isn’t so bad. 

You take a sip of Areum’s coffee and almost spit it out right back. 

“Did you add salt?” you ask, wiping at your mouth and hoping the taste disappears.

“Uh.” A reply so intelligent, you wonder if she ever pays attention to anything she's doing. 

You take a moment (a few), sigh (several times) and make your way to the shelves. Grumbling, you make her a proper cup of coffee before you leave.

Classes don’t wait for you (even if you think they should) and the world doesn’t wait for you (again, you think it should wait for people) so you’ve made it a point to understand the whole deal about rules. If everyone followed the rules, it would be quite a pretty scene; messing up is only valid if it’s done prettily. You laugh at the thought. That’s near impossible. The bus ride to the campus consists of music and thoughts of bleak tomorrows—an average commute for college kids, you think. You sure hope you aren’t alone in this.

Doyoung smiles at you in the hallway today, and despite your best efforts, it makes your day smell a little fresher.

Your day: classes, coffee break, classes, complaining with Ten, assignments, ‘me’ time. For someone who pretends to be laid back, you use your planner as though for survival. There’s no sticky notes or colourful sketches (except on occasion); just good old fashioned to-do lists and a calendar marked with time you’ve spent on productivity. Every day is a list to be completed. If people call routine a man-made cage, instinct is the biological cage. You’d rather be in control of the cage you’re in. You’d rather be in control of yourself. It’s scary otherwise.

So you know how to get the job done—it’s ingrained into you the same way you would place your hands over your ears at loud sounds, or the way you would run to your bed in the dark after switching off the lights.

It never occurs to you that the reason your world is so perfect is a sad one.

Sometime next month, it’s going to snow. Not yet though, and it’s still too cold.

The inside of the cafe helps the slightest, the heaters situated far back from where you sit. Christmas decorations are up already and the combination of red and green meshes delightfully into the form of an aching headache. The wood paneling on the walls are worn at the corners, the garlands hardly covering them, and the barista behind the counter seems as gloomy as the decorations are bright. You wouldn’t be noticing all of this if you weren’t stuck in one position.

You lean your cheek further into your palm and sigh, only this time Ten asks you to, quote, ‘shut the fuck up’.

He pulls up his sleeve and reaches for another pencil. His cryptic process continues, as it has been for the past half an hour and you feel yourself getting impatient, trying to not bounce your leg and get another bout of quibbling from your half-mad artist friend. You don’t usually run low on patience; but Ten has a special pass to test drive it.

“How much lon—”

“Shh!” He hushes you quickly. You can’t remember why you agreed to being his portrait study subject but you sure as hell regret it.

Around fifteen minutes later, you take a (permitted) breath. You have neither the energy nor the neck strength to glare at Ten but you make sure to show your displeasure by snatching the cookies from the table with a particularly sour look. He gets up and pushes you to the side of the small worn-out couch offered by the equally small booth.

“God, that chair was uncomfortable. My butt is frozen solid,” he lets you know, and you roll your eyes.

“You know, if we weren’t friends in high school, I would never be friends with you,” you state.

Ten tilts his head to the side, a mocking pout over his lips. “I would die without you, (name). Really.”

You smack his arm and he yelps, smacking your arm right back. The sound attracts some attention and giggles, and you make a gagging gesture to let them know you are in way or form in a relationship. The low-volume music changes to something with a more distinguishable beat, the sound of doors opening and closing almost every two minutes accompanying. Arriving on time is an accomplishment, especially arriving before rush hour on Fridays at the only decent cafe on campus, but both of your classes end early and there is no way you aren’t taking advantage of that. Leaving, however, is mostly done when you’re being glared at by the waiters and waitresses.

“Doyoung asked about you,” Ten says, all of a sudden. “Kim Doyoung.”

You try to not show concern, but raise an eyebrow. “What? So? He’s not my type or anything.”

You bite your tongue. That was too quick a response, too obvious. Your cheeks grow hot. Ten doesn't say anything, however, and for a moment, you think you’re in safe waters. 

“Are you guys… into each other or not?”

You cough, trying to show your surprise at something so outrageous. “Why would you think that? Does he look like someone who dates around?”

“Actually, he’s been on quite a few dates.”

“No way.”

You know that. He’s told you about it before, in vague references, but you know about them nonetheless.

“Isn’t one student council guy enough?” you mumble. “Why are we talking about Doyoung?”

He shrugs, a familiar feline smile on his face. “Just asking. He talks about you sometimes. Actually, we forced it out of him but whatever.”

You shake your head. “You’re all terrible.”

“You seem to like him though.”

“Who said that?”

Ten sighs, ignoring your question. “If you guys are dating—”

“We’re not.”

“—or fucking—”

“Ten.”

“—you should learn a thing or two about him. The guy’s not as annoying as he looks. Or stuck-up. He’s really nice but don’t tell him I said that.”

“I know that,” you snap, feeling warm at the neck all of a sudden. “I know him.”

“Oh, you do? Tell me what his hobbies are then. Or his major. Or the clubs he’s in, apart from the student council.”

“He- He likes to sing and he’s- he’s—god, what is this? An interrogation? I’m not going to meet his mom for dinner.”

Ten gives you an ‘I knew it’ look before leaning his elbow onto the table. “You’re sleeping with a guy you don’t know anything about. Serial killers would love you.”

You massage your forehead. “Look, I know he’s a good guy, okay? And he’s sweet- and- and—wait a minute. Oh my god, you tricked me.”

Ten lets out a snort. “Hey. Okay, look, the other guys might be dumb as shit but I have, you know, a working set of eyes. I can tell. It’s not that hard.”

You grumble but the cat’s out of the bag anyway. You should’ve known Ten would figure it out—he’s a nosy little shit, and he’s been that way since high school.

“Whatever. As long as Doyoung doesn’t start panicking about his tarnished reputation or whatever.”

“Oh, I think he’s desperate to let everyone know.”

“To you, Ten, everything seems obvious. It’s annoying.” You mess up his hair.

“No, I mean, I thought you were dating.”

“Well, we’re not.”

Ten shrugs. 

“And I don’t like him,” you add. “I like the- the thing that’s going on because there’s no feelings attached.”

He looks somewhat pained, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed, but doesn’t respond to your explanation. “Can I ask for a favour?”

“No.”

Ten sighs. “Come on. You didn’t even hear me out.”

“You’re going to say something stupid. Or insulting.”

“It’s neither, promise.”

You run your hand through your hair, breathing shallow. “Fine. I don’t have to agree though.”

Ten purses his lips. “It’d be better if you did.”

You hum in response, biting into the cookie and trying to ignore the glare from the nearby waitress. It’s about time you left anyway.

“Get to know him, dude. Don’t break his heart.”

“What?”

“Just kidding. There’s a party tonight. Hosted by yours truly. Finally moved out of that stinky dorm room. Bring over some friends but not more than three. And lend me some money for a juicebox.”

“That’s a lot,” you mutter. “You ask for a lot of favours.”

“Oh, speaking of which, Hyungmin—”

“He already asked me out on a date. Am I supposed to say no? You never mentioned he has such an attractive voice.”

“Oh, I’m not telling you to not go on that date. You have to, actually. I’m going to be in a lot of trouble otherwise.”

“That sounds good to me.”

“Shut up. I’m not done speaking.”

You roll your eyes.

“But if you didn’t, I could draw some conclusions.”

“What am I, your chemistry experiment now?”

“Well, you and Doyoung seem to be—”

“Don’t complete that sentence.”

“I was going to say something funny.” 

Ten flashes you a blinding smile and you sigh. By now, you’re about to get kicked out of here so you stand up discreetly while he packs up his stuff. You hug your jacket close to you as soon as you leave, shivering at the evening breeze. The sky is inky, but with a faint sort of ink—deep blue and light, all at once. From the crowd, you can tell classes just got over for quite a few people, eclectic chatter filling up the street.

“Fine. I’ll bring Eunji,” you tell Ten after some contemplation. “And whoever else responds to my text first. Areum never leaves the room. You know that.”

“Thanks, (name)!” he messes up your hair. “I would give you a kiss but someone will end up punching my pretty face.”

You furrow your brows. “Well, you’re not my type anyway.”

“I’m too good for you,” he responds in a sing-song manner, waving at you before running off and disappearing into the university crowd.

There’s always a sort of buzz in the air you can’t quite describe at college parties.

Even if this is a relatively small one, you feel an oncoming headache the moment you enter Ten’s new apartment, which you’re sure had a ‘no parties’ rule in the rental contract. You spot Kun, Ten’s roommate from the dorms and he flashes you a quick smile in greeting before he’s swept up by a doting crowd. Apparently, a cute guy in animal sciences is rare and it makes him rather popular.

Eunji disappears from your side the moment she spots Johnny, and the number of eye rolls you’ve given her haven’t warned her off him yet. You suppose it takes heartbreak to change a person. Sighing, you make your way to the kitchen only to be greeted with the strange sight of Yuta trying to balance Jaehyun on his back so they can imitate some anime formation and back out immediately. Living room, it is, despite its populous space. (You don’t really want to think of bedrooms right now.)

The apartment is quite big for what Ten told you the rent was. The hallway to the two bedrooms is narrow but you suppose something has to be sacrificed for space. You furrow your eyebrows at the two bedroom doors. Ten never said he was getting a roommate. You shrug it off, sitting down on the rather stiff couch. The lack of furniture, apart from the couch and a coffee table, makes the place look even larger and people sparse. You like the beige walls; Ten’s always loved warmer colours but something makes you think he’s going to be ruining them in a few days with garish green paint before he comes crying about that to you.

“Hey.”

You look up to the familiar voice, heart rising to your throat.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Doyoung remarks before sitting down beside you and offering you a cup of god-knows-what.

“I don’t take drinks from strange men,” you say, biting down your smile and crossing your arms.

“If you didn’t take drinks from strange men, we wouldn’t be fu—”

“Doyoung!” you hiss before looking at him with careful suspicion. “Are you drunk?”

“No. A little bit. Not enough.”

You sigh. “How will you get home now?”

“I live here, idiot.”

“You’re- You’re Ten’s roommate?” you sputter.

“Yeah. New one,” he responds. “He used to live across our room in the dorms, I can’t believe I actually agreed to this.”

“I can’t believe it either. I’ve seen cats and dogs friendlier with each other than the two of you.”

Doyoung laughs. “He’s surprisingly one of the better people to room with. I’d rather eat my own blanket than room with Yuta again.”

You laugh at his irked expression, eyebrows furrowed so cutely. The line of his brow bone to nose to lips, it seems a little too perfect to belong to someone. He relaxes his shoulders a little, leaning back on the couch as he looks somewhat lost in thought. (“You think too much,” you’d told him once. “And you think too little.”) If only that were true, you smile to yourself.

“Are you sure you can hold parties here?” you as when the music suddenly rises in volume.

“Well, it said student-friendly,” Doyoung responds, looking visibly disturbed. “Not sure if I want to test the limits of that so early.”

There’s a pause, filled in with loud pop music. You don’t think Ten, your dear introvert, would have agreed to such a party but there’s a chance Johnny or Jaehyun had something to do with this. You don’t know who to suspect when it comes to their group of friends.

“I still can’t believe you’re rooming with Ten.” You look at Doyoung.

“Well, that makes, what, eleven of us, I guess?”

You laugh, feeling conscious all of sudden. Maybe you should listen to Ten’s advice.

“Doyoung,” you call, looking at the cup in your hands a little too passionately. “What’s your major?”

He looks at you with eyes widened ever so slightly, and a pause over his lips.

“Linguistics,” he answers.

“Oh. You said something about it once,” you mumble, recalling something vague about an assignment of his. “You know mine?”

“Yeah,” he answers, eyes cast on his watch.

“Well, that makes me feel a little guilty,” you mumble as softly as you can.

“You should be,” he says. “You never listen to anything I say.”

You scoff. “You just complain most of the time.”

“Really now?”

“Yes,” you snap, looking away.

You look back again when you hear the sound of Doyoung’s laugh, a distinct brightness in it. Sometimes, you wonder if you really are as awful as you’ve made yourself be.

“You’re cute,” he says. “No wonder everyone is so in love with you.”

For a moment, you think he’s going to kiss you.

“Everyone?” you laugh. You don’t care about everyone. It’s burdensome.

“Everyone. They hate you too, by the way.” He smiles to himself. “Heard you’re going on a date with that dimwit. Hyungmin.”

You feel a sudden discomfort in your being. Taking a sip of the drink, you try to shake it off as best as you can. 

“Yeah, I- I don’t think I’ll go,” you say, waving it off. 

Why are you lying? You left it hanging on a maybe. Part of you wants to tell Doyoung; he is your friend after all and you tell friends stuff like this. The other part tells you this is cheating; lying and pretending everything is okay—it feels like cheating. 

“Oh.” He looks lost before he focuses on you. “Why not?”

“Why do you care?” you ask, trying desperately to calm the uprising in your chest.

He stays quiet for a few seconds and then shrugs, looking away from you. It makes you feel a little guilty to dismiss the situation so quickly, another item to add to your troubles. You sigh.

“Sorry,” you say. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No, it’s okay. You’re right.” You can see his Adam's apple bob up and down.

“I’m not,” you say. “I’m wrong. I really didn’t mean it.”

He looks at you all at once, his gaze so gentle that it makes you think he wants to kiss you, or do something equally affectionate. Instead he sighs, downing whatever’s left of his drink before a wash of sudden looseness does away with the tension in his body.

“You have any more questions for me?” he asks, smiling. “What's it like to be student body president—or, or what instruments can I play? My favourite animal? Colour?”

You smile back. “What is your favourite animal?”

“I don’t have one. Don’t like them. Unless it’s a soft toy.”

“No way. You’re lying.”

“Now, I answer your questions and you call me a liar? Makes me a little hesitant to answer the next.”

You roll your eyes. “Okay, next then. Why didn’t you join the frat? All your friends are in it.”

“Hurts my ego.”

You laugh. He’s still probably an honorary member. There is no way he’s apart from friends for too long with all those feelings of fraternity he has, no matter what he says. It’s the same as you. Affection leads nowhere though; just to short-lived moments of comfort.

You realize, through the course of the night, that you never asked. How he got into the student council, what his classes are, what he does for fun—you never asked. It’s almost like you didn’t want to know. 

How sad, you muse to yourself, to be this way. To be so wrapped up in your own problems that you fail to see people around you. Pity, however, isn’t something to feel at a party. You talk with Doyoung for the rest of the night till the sound of his voice makes you feel certain ghosts of butterflies, and till you have to take Eunji home before she does something she regrets. This is what it really means to have the price tag of ‘youth’ strung across you perhaps—when you feel old and immature all at once, and in between, when you feel nothing at all.

Doyoung is too old to mistake love. Or too young. 

Labels don’t define anything, especially when it comes to relationships—so even if he calls it love, whispers it to himself at midnight when he’s sitting alone on his bed while his friends are passed out drunk on the floor, it is empty. And then there’s you. The heat of your skin, the curse of your smile and that cheeky laugh you do to get on his nerves. He wants all of it and he’s not ashamed—but he’d be a liar to say he can shout it to the whole world. He’s not that kind of man, and what is his can remain his without the rest of the world prying its damn fingers in. The first night, no, the second—third? He can’t remember which night it was but something pent up in him exploded and he didn’t try to control it for once.

“Ow,” he mutters.

His throat burns from the whiskey. He hates drinking alone but you’re either asleep or with friends and he can’t think of anyone else but you. He tugs at the turtleneck collar, getting uncomfortable by the minute, and then proceeds to take off his coat.

For a moment, he considers getting back to the living room. There were more than enough people with lingering touches against his shoulder and longing gazes—they’re not you. He leans back onto his bed. Another hour and everyone will be gone; why did he even let them hold a party in the first place? Parties just remind him of you—he takes a whiff and smells summer and lemon vodka all of a sudden. A deep sigh leaves his lips.

You might not seem to find yourself especially sad, but Doyoung finds something oddly touching about you. Maybe it’s the way you say his name, he muses, like you’re desperately trying to fill the gaps. But it can’t be him in particular, of course—it’s a lover, any lover.

He hates long nights, just as he hates winter but lately, they haven’t been feeling too cold. Isn’t it ridiculous the way he’s running after you? Doyoung was never meant for this. It’s fucking pathetic and it makes him want to tear all his hair out but there he is, still and quiet in the same place. A certain agony makes its way through him. His hands are freezing and yet his insides are burning—nothing makes sense and right now, he doesn’t want it to. He presses his cold hands to the warmth of his cheeks and a laugh erupts from his mouth.

He must be going crazy to laugh like this in an empty room. The car lights from the window travel slowly from wall to ceiling, the only thing moving in the stagnant of his room.

Inevitably, he thinks of the end. It should come quick; in fact, he’s never been one to do this. He’s always been someone to get attached to people. He doesn’t know how the end will come because this shouldn’t have begun in the first place.

Doyoung’s out of breath.

“Crazy bastard,” he mumbles to himself, followed by a groan when he lifts his head up. As if on cue, the door opens and shuts with a bang. Ten walks in looking drowsy, running his hand through his hair with a disgruntled face.

“I hate to say this,” he slurs. “But you’re right. We can’t have extra furniture and parties. Gotta choose one.”

Ten lays down flat on the bed. “I vote out that ugly ass clock you bought. Why do we need it? We have phones and laptops.”

“It was a gift,” Doyoung mutters.

“Oh. Uh. Actually, someone already, uh—”

“Leave it. We’ll talk about that in the morning.” 

Doyoung massages his forehead, groaning at the pain when Ten suddenly decides he’s all up for cuddling. 

“Ew,” he says, scooting away from Ten. “Get away from me.”

“You don’t mean that,” Ten whines, trying very hard to pull Doyoung into a hug. Of course, his attempts are blocked by Doyoung’s palm against his forehead.

After a few more seconds of trying, Ten huffs and turns away, crossing his arms. “I don’t like you anyway.”

“I know,” Doyoung mutters.

Ten erupts into laughter, sounding more like a psychopath than a close friend of his.

“You do that every time you like someone?” he asks in between fits.

Doyoung raises an eyebrow. “I just said—okay, yeah. Whatever.”

There’s a much needed silence and Doyoung wonders if he can just fall asleep without kicking Ten out.

“You should tell (name),” Ten says all of a sudden, Doyoung’s heart stopping at your name.

“What?” he whispers.

Ten looks at him as though he’s talking to a particularly stupid child. It makes Doyoung scowl but there’s too much alcohol in his system to know if he really means it.

“You don’t- you’re- everyone in this goddamn building knows,” Ten explains, exasperated. “Jaehyun knows, and he’s the densest kid I’ve ever met. God, if you like (name), go for it.”

Doyoung blushes so deep, he considers pressing his palms to his cheeks again. He thinks for the next few moments. Ah well, if they had to find out, he’s glad he didn’t have to declare it himself.

“Whatever, just ask (name) out. It can’t be that complicated.”

Except it is. You don’t have to spell it out for him—he knows the way you feel. The two of you only ever wanted one thing out of this. But if there’s something Doyoung isn’t good at, it’s keeping his mouth shut. He wonders how many times he let it slip, wonders if you even care enough to notice. God, it’s starting to sound pitiful for him.

“Ten. How much did you drink?” Doyoung asks, raising his head.

“Nothing. None. I’m not drunk.” Ten shrugs. “Just sleepy.”

A ‘wow’ is all Doyoung can respond with. He still isn’t quite finished figuring out what sort of horrific planet Ten stumbled from. A notification ding distracts him from kicking Ten off his bed and he has half a mind to toss it onto the bedside table but it’s still half. He softens almost immediately.

It’s a text from you: a ‘u’ followed by a smiley face and then a meme he can’t quite read through hazy eyes. He finds himself smiling anyway and sends a barrage of emojis, whatever he finds because he likes the way you get annoyed at them. Sighing, he decides that’s enough. He’s not in the right state of mind for conversation.

Doyoung shuts his phone off, attempts to push Ten off the bed one last time before closing his eyes and dozing off.

Not every day is meant to be fun—you know that in your twenties—but it’s still somewhat disappointing to have bad days. Like youth is meant to give you some sort of happiness daily. That’s what they make it sound like.

You groan, rubbing at your back. Sitting at your study desk for so long does not have good long term effects. At least, your temporary, meaningless assignments are done. You scowl at the text on your laptop screen; the more you look at it, the more you hate it and so, you shut it off. It’s not like your pissy professor is going to be impressed by anything you do. However, you like the orderly certainty of schoolwork.

Break time consists of guilt and sugary snacks. You’re done with most everything and you suppose leaving the final review of things to a later date can’t hurt. In fact, it sounds rather appeasing. A few more moments pass in making a decision.

You get dressed. The apartment feels eerie all alone, and you’re sure as hell not going to spend the rest of your evening here. You shiver, quickly striding out the front door and locking it before taking out your phone.

People misunderstand winter. Winter is only the end of things; and sometimes, the beginning. It isn’t cruel or crushing, it’s just taking its course. However, you have a tendency to blame seasons for all that happen in it. For instance, you shouldn’t be missing summer when you really miss the first night with Doyoung. 

He picks up after calling thrice. You wonder what he’s even up to, if Saturday evenings are also booked full for such a guy.

“Why do you take so long to pick up?” you complain. “Do you not get days off?”

“I’m busy,” he hisses. 

Something’s wrong.

You pause, unsure what to do. It’s not his voice but the one in the background that catches your attention. 

Inviting him somewhere. 

Rather sensually.

Your ears feel hot and you drop the call. Of course. Of fucking course. You’re the idiot thinking it was a thing. This whole thing is casual—feeling sorry wasn’t in the contract. Fucking around was.

It’s not like you’ll be heartbroken by something like this. Of course not. Of course. Doyoung and you never had a beginning so there isn’t an end, really. It’s fine. It’s fine. You take a deep breath and browse through your phone. With the onset of Christmas holidays, you have around three options left. Ten (yikes), Jaehyun (no way) or the latest addition, Hyungmin.

Well, you’re dressed. You have to go somewhere. And your statement about Hyungmin being the hottest guy on campus still stands.

You send two texts to the boy before deciding that’s apparently enough time waiting. He picks up after a few rings, voice groggy from what you assume to be a late afternoon nap.

“You up for a drink?” You cut to the point.

“Uh? Oh, uh, now? I am, of course- I just need—”

“Twenty minutes. I’ll text you the address.”

Nothing cheers you up like your favourite bar. Or friends. Or people who respond to calls.

Hongdae is as busy as ever. You knew the bar would be packed but not this packed. Still, you managed to grab a seat at the bar table. With the oncoming night, the smell is just going to get worse—so there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself to some lemon vodka (and its refreshing scent).

Hyungmin arrives exactly four minutes early, and the mussed up hair makes you think he must have been in a hurry. For what, you can’t be sure. 

You can still see the inklings of Hongdae nightlights on his hair right before he enters, and in the fallacy of that moment, you think it’s going to be Doyoung. You sigh. This isn’t the time for that.

“Sorry,” you say, gesturing to the bar table. “All the tables were booked.”

“No, no,” he responds quickly. “I actually prefer it here.”

He’s tall, not that it’s the first time you’re noticing, but even when he’s sitting, he’s at least two heads taller than you are. His shoulders are accentuated by the mocha coat, no doubt part of the latest trend this winter. As a fashion student, he hits the mark and more. 

For a moment, you feel bad for knowing his major. Ten let it slip about him and yet still, you feel guilty for remembering it. You’re not supposed to go into unnecessary detail about people that don’t matter. Does he matter? 

“Surprised you could make it,” you joke half-heartedly. “Aren’t you lot always busy with something?”

He laughs. “The student council? Oh, we’re busy alright.”

Busy. Right.

“What about you? Aren’t you part of like three different clubs?”

“So what kind of busy?” you ask, ignoring his question. You’re part of two, now that you left the music club last semester. It’s not like small talk matters though.

“Uh,” he hesitates. “You know- attend meetings and events, coordinate committee work, supervise stuff, etcetera etcetera. So busy, yeah.”

“Busy on Saturdays too?” you ask, before thanking the bartender for the drinks.

“Yeah, I guess. Doyoung has it worse than me honestly. Even now, he has to take care of stuff because of me. Hah…”

You gulp down your drink making Hyungmin raise an eyebrow in concern. “Stuff? Because of you?”

“Yeah.” Hyungmin scratches the back of his head. “He’s with the girls.”

“Girls?” you ask, playing with the glass. You’re starting to feel annoyed, red lining your vision.

“Yeah.” He makes no notion of clarifying his statement.  

“Must be quite the president,” you say, resting your cheek against your palm.

“Oh, he’s a nightmare.” Hyungmin laughs. “He has to control everything.”

You try to mask your scoff. You know what he can be like when you’re working beside him. 

“Oh, and the guy has no sense of humour,” Hyungmin laughs, the sound easy on the ears.

You blink.

“I think he’s funny,” you say quickly. You swear you have no idea why you sound so defensive.

He hums in response and you consider biting your tongue, telling him you’re only here for one thing and forgetting the uncomfortable churning of feelings inside your chest.

“Forget I- I’m a little confused today.” 

Is that an acceptable explanation? You can’t think straight enough to decide. The silence on Hyungmin’s part, however, worries you. The crowd around you fills in for the next few moments as your companion seems to debate something with himself.

“Look, I know you and Doyoung are… I don’t know, something.”

You huff in irked amusement. “God, does everyone seem to know?”

“Not until late actually.” Hyungmin takes a gulp. “He’s been acting weird. Doyoung.” 

You look away, breathing shallow. You don’t like it, the way things seem to be getting out of hand. All this time, the world seemed to be in the palm of your hand and now, it’s spilling everywhere; the sand in the hourglass is already up to your knees and you don’t know what happens when it fills.

“Do you actually like him?” he asks, leaning back just a little. You know where this is going. “Are you guys dating?”

“No,” you respond, checking your watch.

“Oh.”

There’s a moment’s hesitation in him but you’ve seen that look before. You know that look.

“Then we can- uh- we can—”

“Fuck?” you ask.

He gulps. “I mean, you can say no any time—”

You pull him by the collar and kiss him, hard enough to melt away your hovering thoughts. He kisses like you expect him to, not how you want him to. You know this sort, and somehow, that makes you feel comfortable. Knowing what you’re getting into is easing but it doesn’t lessen the weight of it.

It’s sickening. The way you’re pretending it’s Doyoung.

Hyungmin pulls apart, panting heavily. “Oh, okay.”

“Tell me you drove here.” 

He holds up his car keys in response.

You’re not the type to sleep with strange (semi-acquainted) men, but it’s better than falling in love with them.

So you follow a lover to a hotel room and try to feel something. Some time, when he’s kissing you against the hotel room walls, he pulls apart and asks, “You’re thinking of someone else, aren’t you?”

You know the answer; it just won’t leave your lips.

“It’s okay,” he says with a weak smile, “Let’s just have fun.”

And every time his mouth was on yours, every time you saw stars, you felt the ghost of Doyoung and his haunting touches. It was strange and unfair and unlike you—or at least, unlike the you that you built over the past few years. You feel as though you’ve misplaced something—like something was supposed to be there when you reached out but instead, it was empty space.

The night ends as it should and you leave right before dawn with an apology text you couldn’t put half your heart into.

Most winter nights, you wake up with pain so profound, it’s seeping into your bones.

It never made sense. You never tried to make sense of it. So you let the aches push you down by the shoulders, lodge itself into your neck and back; and you tell yourself, it must be what you deserve. It’s cold and you’re walking barefoot on frozen ground.

You gasp. The weight of who you are and who you have to be—it has its knee on the back of your neck, shoving you into the damp earth. There’s no particular reason to it; it makes it seem as though it’s insignificant. Unimportant. Irrelevant. But that’s the problem—the weight of the world on your shoulders makes no sense. Whose world are you even carrying? Whose approval are you trying to win? You scramble to get up, messing up your bedsheets in the process, and pull your blanket around you. Your own warmth surrounds you and it makes no difference. You frown.

You remember your phone call with your mom, and your lips tremble. You shouldn’t have told her about how crappy your finals went but it slipped. You tried to explain that you did work for them, that you gave it your best but sometimes things don’t work out. She didn’t have to say it out loud for you to hear her thoughts. 

You’re disappointing. 

You wipe at your eyes, feeling annoyed at the emotion. If you could let the ground swallow you whole, you would. In a heartbeat. You don’t even know what you’re doing most of the days despite that pretty planner of yours.

You get out of bed, pull on your cardigan beside the bed and grab your lighter and pack. The tiny balcony makes for a great smoking spot and while you would scold any of your friends for committing to this, you do it yourself. Hypocrite.

For all you try to shove into yourself—hobbies, student clubs, actual clubbing, friends—the more you feel less than enough, as if everything just vanishes into thin air inside you. As if you aren’t enough and never will be. You play by the rules and you lose, you break the rules and you lose. 

Maybe it’s because you let yourself be filled by the intricacies of other people that they like you. And thus, you cannot stop for fear of loneliness.

Just as you’re feeling crushed again, you picture Doyoung against your back, placing his nose in the crook of your neck—something he has never done—and you wonder why it helps. 

Sucking in air too fast, you cough. You shouldn’t have let it go on for so long.

It was fun—harmless fun. You shouldn’t even be thinking of taking a step in some other direction. You’re friends, barely, but you like where you are. If Doyoung was that important, you wouldn’t be going about this all backwards. You sigh, though it comes out jagged. The room is quiet and that’s the way it should be at four a.m, of course, but you crave music all of a sudden. Doyoung and you are just a temporary fix; and you let that thought relax you.

When you think of his chin on your shoulder, however, it feels feather light.

“Why are we doing this?” you ask. 

The atmosphere is warm and toasty, just like you expect it to be in a bakery with light pink doors and a collection of plastic potted plants on display. The decorations aren’t an eyesore here and somehow, it makes you feel better. It’s a little far but you decide it’s worth it.

Doyoung shrugs, sipping his hot chocolate. “It’s Christmas, and we’re both here.”

Your eyes follow the hanging lights over the counter, wrapped in pine tree stickers and eventually to the neat display of a ‘Season’s Greetings’ menu, the contents of which are currently at your table. A Christmas song by some singer who’s been popular lately plays, tunes light and dancing. You hate the end of the year solely because of the extra pressure January brings. Nothing you can’t handle, of course. Nothing you can’t handle.

You sigh. It’s been a little difficult lately.

“Doyoung, really, why are we doing this?” you ask, genuinely curious.

“Are you- uh- are you not enjoying this? I could—”

“No! No, it’s not that. I feel better, actually.” You bite your tongue almost immediately after. It’s not like he’s supposed to know the sort of hell week you’re having. A poorly received term paper, finals that weren’t up to your expectations, crippling loneliness without friends and, oh, the self-doubt—you are at the lowest you can be in college. The only sweetener right now is in the hot chocolate and the way Doyoung’s looking at you. 

You feel something close to guilt.

“Good.” He smiles. “You seemed… You seemed a little down.”

The sliver of warmth between your ribs makes you think this is unreal. It feels uneasy to be so affected by someone but you let it slide, turning back to your hot chocolate.

“Why didn’t you go home this time?” you ask, sipping your drink.

“Oh, I didn't really want to face my parents,” he says before leaning. “Didn’t do too well this semester. And my brother’s going to be there with all his achievements.”

You chuckle in disbelief. “You don’t like your brother?”

“I love him to bits. Just can’t stand my mom’s nagging when he’s around.”

“That’s rich coming from you.” You cross your arms, smiling triumphantly. You feel like children squabbling but it’s so lighthearted, you want to laugh.

Doyoung raises a pointed finger, about to retort but nothing comes out. He puts his hand down.

“I guess you’re right.”

You shake your head. “I’m sure she’s proud of you too.”

“I know that,” he says, laughing. “Of course she is. I don’t keep myself busy for nothing.”

You gulp, a sudden sourness rising at the base of your tongue. 

“Busy, huh? Didn’t know spending saturday evenings with girls also counted as busy,” you mutter against the cup, half-hoping he doesn’t hear you.

“What?” There’s a perplexed look across his face.

You wave your hand in dismissal. “Oh don’t mind me.”

“Are you talking about me giving a tour to the fresher girls?” Doyoung leans forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “Hyungmin does that usually but Mr Man was sore from soccer practice and Friday fucking.” 

You blink. “Fresher… girls?”

“What, did you think I was at a brothel?” Doyoung laughs in amusement.

You feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. “No! No, of course not.”

You wave your hands about for a few more seconds, trying to come up with an explanation. This makes things rather embarrassing.

“Sorry,” you say finally. “I jumped to conclusions.”

Doyoung laughs, rather deep and heartily, and you wonder if your apology really did sound as stupid to him as it did to you. 

“You do that a lot,” he notes.

“Thanks,” you quip, cutting the pastry with your fork a little too forcefully. His laugh follows. (You hate it so much. It sounds like pure adoration.)

The next few moments consist of scrolling through your phones (because Doyoung says his ‘mouth hurts from talking to you’) and you would’ve been in a better state of mind if everyone wasn’t posting pre-Christmas photos with their families. 

“You know they’re opening that park. What’s it called- Winter Wonderland or something. You said you wanted to visit.”

You look up at Doyoung amused.

“Let’s be honest. You want to be in bed, Doyoung,” you say. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I care,” he answers, looking at you with his doe eyes. “About you. You sulk when you’re upset.”

“I don’t sulk,” you reply but your smile is obvious when you exit the cafe. 

It’s like a date. The more you think of it that way, the more it makes you smile.

The evening is perfect—orange and pink and loving and happy. Doyoung trails behind you as you tread over the sidewalk with cheeky remarks about his speed.

“I’m in the track club, you know?” he huffs, finally tired of your jabs.

“As what, the start point?”

A fake, sarcastic laugh leaves him. “I wouldn’t get to see you if I walked ahead.”

You feel warmth creep up your face. You mumble, “that’s cheesy.” It’s too weak though, and it goes unheard. 

For the first time, you notice his eyes are a little like yours in what they reflect. You love them. 

So this is where the crowd went. The amusement park, or whatever you call it, is buzzing with a faint sort of excitement, mostly in the children that didn’t get to go on a vacation elsewhere. It’s quite the wonderland though so you can’t see them complaining.

“Do you think they’ll kick us out if we make out on the Ferris wheel?” you ask, smiling at Doyoung.

“I’m not making out with you on the Ferris wheel,” he replies, making a face.

You do end up making out on the Ferris wheel, and you get butterflies from it. It’s like a teenage dream but Doyoung looks even better. You pass on the cotton candy because frankly, you’ve had enough of sweet things. You sit at the frozen wooden seat, hoping it warms up while Doyoung brings the two of you some fries.

Your phone buzzes with a notification. Your eyes light up at the mail from your professor. You had turned in the term paper three days ago, weeks ahead of schedule and were particularly proud of the way it turned out. 

You look at the email and zero in on the word ‘redo’.

Your shoulders sag immediately. You spent four weeks on that—and it’s not good enough? You search frantically for how it could have gone wrong and come up with none. That’s not supposed to happen. Something’s wrong. Something’s very wrong. The week’s exhaustion swallows you up again.

When Doyoung returns, he looks at you concerned before quickly setting the fries on the table.

“(name). Is something wrong?”

“Huh?” Your voice sounds so weak and squeaky, you feel embarrassed. It’s embarrassing that after all these years, you still don’t know how to handle failure. 

Because it’s not supposed to happen. You tell yourself that over and over and it makes things worse.

You feel dirty, underneath all that dust and crumbled rock dangling in your hair. Whatever rests on your shoulders is cracking and collapsing, and you’re pushing in the wrong direction to make sure it all stays up. 

He reaches out his hand but you avoid it.

“No,” you mutter, weakly shaking your head.

You rub at your nose and eyes, hoping you can hide behind your forearms. Doyoung shouldn’t be seeing you like this, he doesn’t deserve to see you like this. You turn away from him, your palm gently pushing against the soft material of his shirt. 

Doyoung doesn’t move. Instead, he gently tugs on your wrist so you have no choice but to face him with your red-rimmed eyes. You’re not sure if it’s embarrassment or pity, but the concern in his eyes makes you cry harder. 

“You don’t have to do that,” he whispers. “You don’t have to find a place to cry.”

For the first time in adulthood, you learn what it’s like to lean your forehead against someone’s chest this way. Doyoung wraps his arms around you and the sound of his breathing soothes your near-erratic heart. 

“I worked really hard on it, you know?” you mumble against his chest. “My term paper.”

“I know,” he whispers.

Doyoung strokes your head delicately, fingers running through your hair with airy touches. Eventually, you let go of a final sigh and look up to his lips.

He seems surprised at the kiss but it’s all you can think of now. It’s gentler than usual and Doyoung moves cautiously though he seems to like it all the same. His arms feel comfortable around you. When he pulls apart, he looks at you yet still with careful concern.

“We can- we should stop if you want,” he says, and he means it. 

You shake your head. Night is creeping in overhead, deep and quiet and slow.

“I like you, Doyoung,” you say finally. “I really, really like you.”

Doyoung’s eyes widen, as though a rabbit wary of the traps it might set foot on but he eases into your touch almost immediately.

“I like… I like you too.” His lips waver but he looks away and takes a deep breath. “I like you so much.”

You smile and think that maybe everything is set right now, with his chin against your shoulder and your arms around him. 

Doyoung discards the jacket once you’re in your apartment, kissing you fuller now. Every other thought leaves you; you beg him to make you forget the rest of the world. The walls are comforting now that he’s here, and it’s warmer, hotter.

“Can we- Can we go a little slower?” you mumble, his arms still gentle when they wrap around your waist. He parts his lips from your neck to look at you momentarily before nodding.

You suddenly understand why he always makes you feel so good. There’s a certain fondness to his touch and warmth to his kisses. There’s no one quite like him, really.

“I love digging graves, especially if it’s my own,” you mutter against the pillow.

Doyoung laughs. “What did you do this time?”

“This time? Excuse me? Do you think I’m some sort of trouble child?”

“Hm. Let’s see. Yes.”

You pause. Why do you hesitate to tell him you slept with Hyungmin? It’s not like you were cheating—you weren’t dating Doyoung. Besides, that night with Hyungmin didn’t mean anything. A horrid feeling snakes around your throat, heavy and piercing. You resort to changing the topic.

“I’m… I took another course beyond my understanding.”

“That’s it?” he asks.

You nod.

No, no, no; it’s all backwards now and you don’t know how to reverse it.

Doyoung takes your hand in his, delicately and yet firm. His chest is against your back, bare and warm. When he presses his lips against your knuckles, the warmth that flushes through you makes you want to believe in something else entirely. You feel weak. 

A part of you argues that you feel honest—in a moment of clarity you don’t think you deserve. Neither vodka nor whiskey can make you this clear in the head; you struggle to breathe straight. How awful it is to feel warmth and not believe in it at the same time.  

“You can rely on me, you know?” he whispers.

The knot in your chest makes you want to cry.

You feel lonely and the opposite of it all at once. Doyoung is too much for you—too kind, too pretty and too true. He makes you realize too many things at once.

There are a few things in the world that can stifle loneliness. Like the notes Doyoung plays on the piano, like the songs he hums in the morning till you place open-mouthed kisses against his neck.

You realize, all of a sudden, that Doyoung really is your dearest friend.

And yet, you don’t think you deserve it. You’ve never loved, you believe, but you have. You don’t remember it well enough. The lovers’ touches you kept searching for led to this. Hypocrite. You wanted a lover’s touch and you rejected the love that came with it. What a complicated bundle of emotions. You weren’t always this way.

You loved your first cat when you were six, all the way till it died a warm death in your bed. You loved your mother even when she yelled at you for skipping your chores. You loved your middle school friends when you talked about comics and movies you saw for the first time. 

It’s hard to love the same way now.

You suppose sympathy needs a little backstory. Nothing is unconditional. 

It had all started when your heart had broken into two clean pieces. You put a bandaid on it and called it a day. No one taught you to ask for help.

Your friends know someone broke your heart; you tell them everything. Friends, friends—you wanted them so bad and yet, you keep them as far from you as you can. You pretend to be paper-thin and so shallow, sometimes you wonder if that’s all there is to you. But for all they know, they know next to nothing. It wasn’t just the aftermath of reckless puppy love. 

The first time your heart broke, it was watching your mother cry in the living room for a reason you didn’t understand. You wondered who committed the crime, who should be charged—and you found no one. A loveless marriage is cruel, yes, but you cannot point fingers. It isn’t just cruel; it’s infuriating.

The second time, the two pieces of your heart broke into a few more. It was a boy with an inviting smile and flags whose colour you couldn’t quite discern. They must have been red, but everything else was too—hearts, cheeks, lips, and the threads around your wrists. And eventually, he guided you to the conclusion that you are undeserving, unworthy, unloved. 

You were strong, however. It was easy to collapse on the bed and feel the weight of the world settling in, but you stood up again on shaking knees and you told yourself to have fun; you can have fun without feelings. You know better than to attach meaning to fun—you might hate insignificant things but it’s only fun if it’s pointless. You’re not letting go of this place you’ve worked so hard to arrive at, with all the shattered pieces in your hands.

It’s better to offer nothing at all than offer broken pieces.

“Can we stay like this?” Doyoung’s arms tighten around your waist, his breath shallow against your shoulder. “Just for a little bit.”

His voice is beautiful as always, but for a moment, it strikes you as sad.

Everything’s twisting up into knots and you are frantically running your fingers over them to straighten it all out. You know what it’s like to let things rot; and you are tired of it. Why can’t everything disappear for one moment? Why can’t you just let it be the two of you?

You sigh in response, nodding. 

“I might not know what’s happening in there,” he starts, drawing circles on your chest with his finger, touch comfortably light. “But…”

I’m here and I get it.

Is that what he wants to say? You don’t think you’ll get to know. You’re not exactly voicing yourself either. 

Stay the night. You want to say it but your lips are frozen.

Instead, you rub your thumb over the back of his hand, fitting into each other as perfect as a lie. You would tell him, you try to convince yourself, if you could say it with enough conviction. There’s no point to saying things that are half-meant, that are true but only just enough. You’re a coward.

And now, this has gotten complicated.

An end.

Tapping his pen against the desk, Doyoung grows increasingly annoyed. The council's next  meeting agenda isn’t going to finish writing itself but he can’t bring himself to either. Besides, Ten’s pacing outside his room is starting to get on his nerves.

“Ten!” he yells. “Can you quit it? You’re making too much noise.”

His disapproval is met with silence. For a moment, he spaces out and reflexively thinks of you, only to feel a confusing sort of emotion. It’s normal, he tells himself, and that it’ll sort itself out.

Doyoung feels like a glass box more often than not. If he breaks, who picks up the pieces? Who gets cuts all over their fingers?

‘Whoever breaks him’ should be the answer. But that’s wishful thinking. It’s not that simple. 

He’s so see-through that it’s painful. He used to tell Taeyong he’s wrong but he’s never been able to prove it. He is easy. It’s embarrassing.

But then again, part of him likes it when it comes to you. He likes it when you kiss him after a particularly heated disagreement, he likes when you get on his nerves just so he’d fuck you and most of all, he loves the push and pull. Fun is just that. He doesn’t know what he’d do if that heart of his he placed so gingerly into your palms falls and shatters.

The line between hate and love is thin; and he’s enjoying walking it too much.

He has nothing to offer but himself. He laughs at the thought and shakes his head. It’s somewhat dirty, and not just in the sexual sense.

“Ten!” he yells again. “Stop pacing!”

Getting up from his seat, he strides over to his door, swings it open and finds Ten scratching his head and glancing at his phone in repeated action. 

“Ten?”

He’s so in a trance that he hasn’t noticed Doyoung. He is the lovable sort of idiot if he ever chooses to be so. Most of the time though, he’s just a smartass.

“Oh, oh no, I’m a bad friend,” Ten mutters to himself, his pacing growing more restless. He scratches the back of his head, eyebrows furrowed and too inside his head to notice Doyoung. He wants to ask but something tells him he shouldn’t. 

Turns out, his apprehension isn’t strong enough these days. 

“Whose date did you crash?” Doyoung asks, more than annoyed already.

When Ten looks at him, Doyoung feels rather shriveled and freezes on the spot. Call it instinct but Doyoung respects fear and pain. Ten has a mixture of the two, amplified when he looks at Doyoung.

“Doyoung. Hey,” he says, trying to tone down the distress in his voice.

Doyoung still hasn’t recovered from the initial surprise of Ten looking that way.

“Did you fuck up? Did someone fuck up? Why do you look like that?”

Ten sits down on the small couch. “Long story… I guess. Too many details, you- you know? Just—”

“What the fuck happened?”

Ten still can’t look him in the eye. “The group chat’s a little…”

“Ten,” Doyoung snaps. “Cut the crap.”

“No, that’s- that’s what I’m- You’re going to be upset.”

Doyoung straightens, furrowing his brows. “I think I can fucking handle it.”

“You know that date I set up for (name) and Hyungmin?”

“You set that up?”

“(name) slept with Hyungmin.” 

Doyoung quietens. The silence seems to make Ten uncomfortable as he shifts in his seat, getting up when Doyoung speaks.

“So?”

Ten blinks. “You’re not upset?”

“Just what kind of loser do you think I am?” Doyoung mutters.

Glass shatters just that easily. Maybe he wanted you to shatter him. Maybe he was already cracking at the edges.

“Doyoung, you don’t have to—”

“Stop,” he exclaims a little louder than he intended. “Stop looking at me like that. I’m a grown man, I can handle shit like this.”

It still hurts though. You lied to him and he let you in. You lied to him. Doyoung sighs, returning to his room with a realization he should have had long ago. His night ends with more deleted drafts than he’s supposed to have and eventually, with increased discomfort, he delegates the job to Park Hyungmin himself with the excuse of sickness.

Doyoung does feel sick. He felt this way once, in highschool, but it had turned to red, hot anger ready to lash at anyone and everyone, spilling from his lips as easy as it was to breathe. And Doyoung can never feel that way towards you. He was different back then too, of course, but you—you’re unlike anyone he’s ever met. He loves the comfort of you, and something like that is hard to come by. 

He feels like laughing again but instead he finds tears on his cheeks. Silly boy, he can hear his mother tell him. You don’t give your heart to heartbreakers. 

So Doyoung falls asleep to the sound of upbeat music in his earphones, music he hates even just to pass the night. Morning will come and he will have to become stronger. Comfort is fleeting, after all.

With everything said and done, you know very well that if you were to tell someone you love them—genuinely, truly, from the heart—it would be Doyoung. It’s not a sudden realization, like the sky falling apart or a tidal wave crashing against the shore and sweeping away the city. It is like the gentle lapping of water, though, or the way the clouds change shape—natural and anything but alarming. You want to stare at it forever, and you want to believe that’s how it will be forever. 

“You told everyone we had sex?” Your voice is boiled to a shout. 

Hyungmin looks torn, lips moving but no explanation making its way out. “I- I told my friends, not everyone.”

“And you forgot that your friends talk? Everybody talks, Hyungmin, what were you thinking?”

He sighs before taking a step towards you. “Why are you so angry about it? As far as I remember, you had no trouble talking about whose pants you got into.”

You scoff. “With friends, not the whole campus.”

“That’s exactly what I did!” 

You cross your arms, feeling so upset you might cry and unsure as to why. You’re usually good at dealing with stuff like this, keeping things in the right place.

“It’s because of Doyoung, isn’t it?” 

You snap your head to Hyungmin. There’s a serene sort of look to him despite his unkempt appearance, and a look of understanding.

“I’m sorry. Really. But if you were so into him, you shouldn’t have called me that evening. It might not matter to me but…”

You broke his heart. All that devotion he had towards you led to this. 

“You’re right.” You choke on your words, leaning against the wall. “Fuck… Fucking…”

You turn around, making your way out of the hallway and hope the tears on your cheeks dry faster if you run.

You can’t remember the last time you ran. Your world didn’t need running from, it was right in the palm of your hands. Now that you look back, the world was always on your shoulders and heavy as it can be. Maybe you liked it—the weight. You could’ve shrugged it off any time; you didn’t need all those caging schedules or careful, elegant steps.

No. Atlas couldn’t shrug because his punishment was his existence. To have weight is to have meaning; and that is how you intended to live out your life.

Doyoung makes you see it differently. To love so fully even if it seems cautious—you, who has never loved at all, couldn’t comprehend it. And because he makes you see it differently, the box is now open and all hell is loose. 

For once, you don’t want to live in the world you crafted. You want more love, more hurt and you want to open the doors. You don’t mind hell if it’s for him.

You ring the bell to Doyoung and Ten’s apartment and pray the news hasn’t reached him yet. He said he was busy this weekend; maybe he was detached enough from his phone for once. You just want to be the person to tell him. It’s not a perfect apology otherwise.

Doyoung opens the door with pursed lips and cold eyes. There’s a sense of ease over his shoulders and arms but he won’t look at you and panic rises to your throat.

“We’re not fucking tonight, (name),” he says.

“That’s not- That’s not why I’m here.” Your voice is so meek, you wonder what happened.

Doyoung steps back, crossing his arms. He’s still looking at his feet and you feel the urge to reach for his face.

“I wanted to tell you- I… I just—”

“That you’re fucking other people?”

“God, Doyoung, stop with the fucking. I don’t care about that right now.”

“Really?” His voice is so sharp, it digs into your skin. “You were just in it for that. That’s the fun part in your stupid life, isn’t it?”

You feel a sharp pain in your nose and forehead. “You’re- Now that’s- Doyoung. I’m sorry. That’s what I wanted to say.”

“After—” His voice chokes up. “After everything is done? Stop with the excuses and face it for fuck’s sake. You aren’t made to fall in love. That’s why you dance around it all the time.”

Although he says that, he doesn’t sound angry. He sounds defeated.

“It’s not like you aren’t cautious,” you retort, throat feeling heavy. “You said it yourself- you don’t want to care too much.”

“I was wrong,” he says, voice hoarse. “I care about everything more than I’d like to admit. I care about you more than I’d like to admit.”

“The Hyungmin thing didn’t mean anything, okay? You were busy and—”

“So why did you lie?” He strains to not raise his voice. “Of course I knew our little thing didn’t mean shit to you. Why did you pretend it did? Last week, you said- you said—”

“Doyoung, last week- last week I- I wasn’t pretending, I swear.”

“You could’ve just saved yourself the trouble and the dignity.” A short, humorless laugh leaves him.

You feel your lips tremble, the explanation not quite made its way out yet. He looks so innocent like this, rabbit-like eyes watery and full of pain, pure the way they have always been. This is your mistake, isn’t it?

“Doyoung, please,” you manage to say. “That was wrong. I couldn’t clear up my head. Please don’t—”

“No. I was an idiot. Or you see me as one.” He frowns deeper, lips trembling. “I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t have. We shouldn’t have been at the same fucking party and I shouldn’t have drank so much. You’re- I’m not that kind of person.”

You bite down your lip. “What kind?”

Doyoung laughs, the sound raspy and empty. “The kind to not fall in love with you.”

It damn near breaks your heart to look at him. You have to say something, it shouldn’t end like this. You’re desperate and all you think is that you don’t want it to end at all.

“Please, I thought of you as a friend, that’s why—”

“And this is what you call being a friend?” he cuts you off.

You feel the sting in your eyes and nose, making you turn sharply to the side. You wish he’d just make you cry. It makes you feel the rancid guilt all the more.

“Make Hyungmin your friend for all I care. Let’s stop this.”

You stare at your feet, unable to respond. 

“You can have every boy in the world, (name). Don’t come to me.”

“Can you just stop talking about everyone else?” you yell, desperate. “Do I talk about your exes? Seungjae or- or what’s-her-name—” 

“That’s different!” He looks distraught, breathing heavily and with a painful red flush over his nose and cheeks. He runs his hand through his hair, tousling it further. “You lied to me, (name). You lied.”

Your cheeks are wet and the look that flashes over Doyoung makes you think he wants to step right out to you. He stays frozen in place, however, looking away to the side.

“Did you notice?” he asks softly. “Even once? How much I cared?”

You can’t answer, letting the tears drip down your face. It’s getting colder and colder. 

Doyoung bites down his lip before parting them. “All we did was have sex anyway. So please just- just leave.”

You take a long few moments but nod, hugging your coat closer and stepping out of his apartment. You think you hear Ten’s footsteps but it’s followed by the bang of a door—this is how it ends then.

The line between hate and love is thin; and you are deserving of neither.

You perfect your next semester’s academics, and the next. It still feels empty. You go out to drink with friends and return to a messy bed you sleep in alone. You smile as always and you laugh as always. No one asks you how you are as always. You never needed anyone to ask you how you are.

Ten tries but you push him away. You don’t need to drag in other people into a mess you made. He feels sorry for the whole thing but you tell him it was you that spilled the paint, Ten just handed a dash of it to you.

You were right. You don’t deserve Doyoung. At least, you made it so that you don’t deserve him. 

‘It’s better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all’—it still hurts.

Every day is part of a list again. You doodled in some of the pages, when you thought you were starting to fall in love. There’s only a skeleton of it left now. Soon, you’ll let it crumble to dust too. 

You tear apart the planner sometime after graduation and cry and curse at yourself for doing that. No one’s good at parting with things they care about. You’re no exception.

It’s December again. 

This place is a little strange to visit right after graduating, especially with the memories flashing you by. Johnny said he booked one of the private booths (“A senior’s treat!”) but you feel your steps growing hesitant when you reach the neon signs by the stairs. It spells ‘The Meeting Place’ and smells of cigarettes just like it did the first time.

You stop midway up the stairs. For a moment, you think of Doyoung sitting there and wonder if you’ll ever be able to talk to him again. If you had the chance now, would you take it?

Of course, you wouldn’t. There’s too much to be set right and you can’t do it.

There’s supposed to be the six of you. Johnny mentioned Ten and you know Eunji’s invited too. You saw Jaehyun on the way here, still a student. You sigh. It must be him, the one they failed to mention to you. Kim Doyoung. There’s no one quite like him.

You spot him first. Looking a little forlorn as he gazes absentmindedly to the side, he faces away from you and you get the inevitable urge to run away. It’s a funny feeling. 

Your stomach is churning. You don’t want him to see you. Ten babbles on about something to Johnny, smiling like he found candy while clearing his drawers. Eunji looks tired, leaning against Johnny’s shoulder and you wonder if she already drank more than enough shots.

“(name).”

You jump at Jaehyun’s voice from behind you. 

“Hey,” you respond, giving him a wide smile.

He hesitates. “Are you okay? Not that you don’t look okay- you look really good actually. I mean, are you and… you know okay?”

“I don’t think so, Jaehyun,” you say and make your way to the booth.

It’s a little cramped for the six of you and Doyoung gets up before you can even greet him. It’s not like you deserve it anyway but it tugs at the wound.

“I’m going to go take a drag,” he mutters.

“You don’t smoke,” you say, looking up.

He stares at you momentarily and you look away. You think Ten and Johnny glance at you with pity but you don’t really care. 

 “Can I come with you?” you ask, barely a whisper.

“Sure,” he says, to your surprise.

The smoking area is so small, you’re surprised it’s even there. A glass structure overlooking the neighbourhood, there’s barely any light within. The only thing nice is how warm it’s in there. 

Doyoung lights his cigarette and then offers to light yours. It’s quiet, the music from inside numbed to the cold doors. You really can’t take it. You stub the barely consumed cigarette and throw it into the bin.

You’d rather just stay quietly in his presence.

“You’re not smoking,” he notes.

“It’s a bad habit.” You look out through the glass.

Doyoung chuckles. “You were a collection of bad habits.”

“And good ones too,” you quip. “I was a perfect student. I was perfect in most everything actually.”

Doyoung’s smile widens. “You were. You certainly were.”

A few more moments pass in silence, your eyes traveling over the outside scenery which seems to be growing duller by the second. City lights have never felt fainter.

“It was an accident, right?” You say suddenly. “The whole thing? Us?”

Doyoung hums. “Yeah. I fell in love by accident.”

You smile weakly. “Right. I never got to apologize.”

“I loved you on purpose.”

You look up at him. There’s not a lot of people who say what they mean. He looks the same as he used to under your grey blankets, with a warm blush over his cheeks and kind, wide eyes. 

“You’re so damn pretty,” he murmurs, “even now.”

You scan his face for signs of lying.

“You’re drunk, aren’t you?” you ask finally. 

Doyoung blinks before easing into laughter. “You- You’re- You’re the same as ever.”

You let yourself crack a smile.

“Doyoung I- I really am sorry,” you say quietly. “And I did- do care for you.”

Doyoung stubs out his cigarette and discards it before looking you in the eye. You notice he’s wearing his favourite black turtleneck in the proximity, the grey plaid coat covering most of it. You really liked that look on him.

“I’m sorry,” you say once again. “I want you to know that. I didn’t want to hurt you and I promise I won’t ever do it again.”

You mean it. You’re never going to hold glass again. He doesn’t deserve it.

“That’s a problem,” he responds, breath mingling with yours. “I want you… I want you to hurt me. If you really do love me, I’ll take it.”

“Doyoung,” you whisper, turning away despite your whole body screaming at you to give in. “I meant it. I can’t hurt you.”

Doyoung cups your cheek with one hand, glancing at your lips for a moment.

“You’re warm,” he says.

He’s warmer.

“I want to kiss you,” he says.

You want to kiss him too.

“We went about this all wrong, didn’t we?” he asks.

“We did,” you answer, voice barely above a whisper. “I did.”

Doyoung pulls back. “Then let’s start again. I’m Kim Doyoung, I majored in linguistics. I was student council president and I made a mistake.”

You smile. “We don’t have to do that.”

Doyoung raises an eyebrow. “After all the trouble I went through to make a good introduction?”

The two of you laugh, and it gets warmer. 

“I’m (name),” you say. “I was a top student and I made a bigger mistake, Kim Doyoung.”

“Oh? I wonder what it was.”

“Kind of a long story.”

“I’ve got all the time for you.”

You smile and start. He responds with gentle kisses. You’re piecing your world back together again; but this time it’s feather-light and fits right in the palm of your hand. 

[mercy-burning]

Hangover Duty

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Reader’s birthday party leads to some rather endearing drunk antics. Category: Fluff Warnings: Mild language, alcohol consumption, mentions of the prison arc (is that a proper content warning? idk lol) (As always, if there’s anything I missed, please let me know what I should include in content warnings! I always want to be as mindful as I can about what I post. Thank you!) Word Count: 4.4k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: Funny story, I woke up at like 3 in the morning last night and just sat up and cranked this out in one go, unprompted. I’m not sure why inspiration struck that late (early?) but I’m rather proud of this one considering I just woke up to edit it a few hours ago 😂, I hope you like it!

***

Watching her gradually get more drunk as the night went on had to be the most amusing and incredibly endearing way to get back into the groove of things. It was nice, actually, being able to have a good time with his friends without constantly being reminded of what's happened in the past year.

Especially considering this year Spencer was determined not to miss Y/N's birthday. Last year he'd been in prison, and rather than being able to celebrate with her and their friends, rather than getting her a card or writing her a letter, she'd written him a letter that detailed in depth how she refused to celebrate until her best friend was there to celebrate with them. Of course he felt awful about the whole thing, and when JJ had dropped off the letters that week, he made her tell Y/N how sorry he was and how he wished more than anything that he could have been there.

And naturally, after dealing with Cat another time and settling his mom down, the first chance he got, he told Y/N himself.

She was in the hospital after that incident with Mr. Scratch. She was the first person he saw in the hospital, and she was fine, arguing with the doctors about leaving to help her team. But once he showed up, telling the doctors he could get her to sit down, they left, and he pulled her in for the biggest hug they'd ever shared.

And the first thing he told her was, "I'm sorry I missed your birthday."

She'd only laughed and squeezed him tighter, replying with a short, yet simple, "Shut up."

He promised to himself then that no matter what happened, he would never miss another one of her birthdays again.

Since it was the first one since all that had happened, Spencer planned something a little extra special. Weeks ahead of time, he talked to Rossi about being able to rent out a bar for the night, Y/N's favorite bar to be exact. Just for themselves. As to be expected, it took a bit of convincing, but eventually they'd been able to successfully rent out the bar for one night, and though Rossi was insistent on paying everything, Spencer wanted to offer as much as he could.

Penelope, of course, insisted on putting up decorations. She roped Luke into helping her, and though he played off like it would be torture, for one thing he was happy to help celebrate his friend's birthday in any way he could, but he also was terrible at hiding the fact that he was more than happy to help Penelope with anything she needed, whether it actually pertained to the party or not.

Everyone told her they were all just going to meet up for drinks after work that day. Y/N was more than okay with it, explaining to them how she was just happy to be able to spend her birthday with her friends no matter where they were. They told her to meet at 7pm when in reality they would all be at the bar an hour and a half early to set up and make sure everything was perfect.

When Y/N actually showed up, Spencer had never seen her so radiant. Even as she was swarmed by Garcia putting on a pink party hat for her that promptly read "Birthday Girl", her hair slightly out of place because of its placement on her head, she was the perfect example of human perfection. She greeted everyone with a huge, beautiful smile accompanied by lots of 'thank you's and 'I love you's, and when she finally got to Spencer, he tried not t hold her to him for too long.

One of the reasons Y/N loved this specific bar was because of the karaoke machine. In fact, drunken karaoke was a decent weekly occurrence with the BAU, and while they'd been no strangers to the act, it only became more frequent when Y/N joined the team. For years now they'd spent many hours singing just as many songs as anyone could think of. And even while drunk, Y/N was a natural. She slipped up on words and slurred them together once in a while, sure, but her voice was easily the most impressive of the bunch, not to mention she never failed to get anyone and everyone to join in.

All that to say Spencer made sure they would be able to use the karaoke machine before they rented out the place. He even attempted to teach himself how to work it, but try as he might, he ended up calling on JJ to help him do it.

Throughout the night they all took turns singing songs, and at one point Y/N finished a song and made a speech, standing up on the bar. (Deep down Spencer was a little nervous that she would hurt herself, or that somehow the owner of the bar would find out that she'd broken one of many rules he had about renting the place out. But that was neither here nor there when he saw the glowing smile she had on her face, looking at all her friends with the most love and admiration he'd seen anyone carry in a while.)

"I'm jussali'l tipsy at the moment, so m'sorry if I don't make any sense," Y/N slurred together, obviously very drunk. Everyone laughed and she continued, clutching the microphone in one hand and placing the other over her heart like she was going to say the Pledge of Allegiance. "I jusneed to say how much I love y'guys. Thank you for celebratin' with me and makin' my birthday real special. I'mean, you fricken rented out a whole-ass bar! That's so nice!"

As she squealed out the last sentence, Spencer couldn't help the wide smile that broke out on his face. She was just so radiant, glowing with warmth and love and happiness and everything good in the world.

She was also struggling to get off the bar. He rushed forward to help her, and she fell forward, into his arms with a giggle.

"You okay?" he asked, his concern blowing away in the wind when she looked into his eyes with another winning smile.

"No thanks t'you," she answered, promptly 'boop'-ing him on the nose before she reached over to the bar and grabbed a full shot glass. After downing the drink, she brushed passed him with a slap on the butt and another giggle, right before she loudly asked Penelope to cut her another slice of cake.

Spencer knew she wouldn't have been so bold had she been sober, but the whole situation still made him feel all warm inside, like he'd taken a shot of whiskey himself.

Luke came up to him, clapping him on the back and snapping him out of it. "This mean you and the birthday girl are finally a thing now?"

"W—what? I don't know what you mean..."

He was obviously lying, and Luke could tell. He laughed a little, nodding towards Y/N, who was currently laughing with Emily and Penelope, a bright blue smudge of frosting on her nose. "She really missed you when you were gone, man. Even put her birthday on hold until she could celebrate with you."

"Well, we've been best friends for years, and she loves her birthday. It was... A hard year. It makes sense."

"Okay, that's fair, but do you know how bad it was? No presents, no birthday wishes, nothing. She demanded we act like it was any other day. And when I brought her a cupcake, she just set it on your desk and left it there. It sat there for about a week before she finally threw it out."

Spencer looked at where she was standing, eating more cake and swaying lightly to the music that was now playing over the speakers. "Really," he mused, not even thinking about it.

Luke sighed beside him. "Look, you can... believe what you want, but we've all noticed it. You two are practically inseparable, and the way I'm seeing you look at her right now tells me everything I need to know."

Even being called out like that, Spencer couldn't make himself look away. And even if he did, he wouldn't have really known what to say. Because all that was running through his mind at the moment was how right Luke was. How much he couldn't help but feel warm and safe when he was in Y/N's presence, and how she made him feel like the only person in the world sometimes.

He wondered then if maybe in the next day or two he should tell her how he felt.

One by one each member of the team eventually left the bar to go home. Each time one of them did, Y/N gave them the biggest hug and mumbled an abundance of 'thank you's and 'I love you's, much like at the start of the night, only this time her words were slurred and higher-pitched and very much laced with alcohol.

The only three people left at the end of the night were her, Spencer, and Emily.

Y/N came up between them and wrapped both her arms around their shoulders, pulling them in for a messy group-hug. "How'r we gonna clean this place up?" she asked dramatically, looking around once they all pulled away.

"I'm going to clean this place up," Emily said, giving Spencer a knowing look. "Since it's your birthday, your best friend here is going to make sure you get home safe and sound."

He definitely didn't see that coming, but somehow he felt like he should have. Regardless, he was more than happy to take the job. Especially when Y/N jumped up and down and threw her arms around him, giving a big old, "Yaaayyyy!" into his neck. She pulled away and gripped his shirt, bouncing on her feet with a large grin. "We can take my car and we can listen t'that CD I was tellin' you about and when we get t'my house we can have a sleepover!"

"Anything you want," he told her with a smile. "Go get your stuff together and we'll go."

As she wandered around the bar to find her shoes that she'd taken off somewhere along the line, Emily nudged Spencer with a smile. "She loves you, you know."

"She's drunk," he countered.

And as if on cue, right then she held one of her shoes up in the air with a triumphant gleam in her eye. "One down!"

"Okay, well, even when she's not drunk, she still loves you."

Though his heart swelled at the thought, he changed the subject. "You don't have to clean everything up. I was going to come back tomorrow morning and do it myself anyway."

"Eh, don't worry, I'm happy to do it." Emily nodded towards Y/N, who was walking around with one shoe on and picking up the other on the floor next to the cake table. "Besides, something tells me you're gonna be a bit preoccupied with hangover duty."

I wouldn't want any other job, he thought to himself.

And even though the nearly-impossible task of getting her into the car should have stressed him out (she kept getting out of the car as Spencer walked around to the driver's side, until finally he promised her a cheeseburger if she would stay), he still wouldn't have had it any other way.

They stopped at McDonald's on the way home, like he promised, and she was practically buzzing with happiness with the food in her lap. She made him sit in the parking lot and wait until she was done eating so she wouldn't spill anything. And in the dim light of the car, parked under a streetlight and watching her eat her food while she rambled on about the most random things, Spencer didn't think he'd ever felt more content.

He tried to keep her quiet as they made their way up the steps to the third floor of her apartment building. They were going to take the elevator but Y/N insisted it would eat her alive, and he quickly agreed to take the stairs as not to make a scene and wake everyone up with her crying. Her shoes came off again on the second flight of stairs, because she kept tripping and then laughing, pretending to fall back and almost scaring him to death.

Now he was unlocking her apartment door with her shoes in his other hand as she clung to his side. As soon as the door was open, she pushed past him and called out for her cat, Murphy. It didn't take long before the white cat jumped up on the counter to meet her, and she squealed and enveloped him in a crushing hug, picking him up and spinning around to meet Spencer, who was closing the door behind him and setting her shoes on the ground.

"Say hi to Murphy! He loves when you come to visit!"

It was true. Though he never really found himself fond of cats, as soon as he visited Y/N's apartment for the first time Murphy clung to him immediately. It didn't take long for the two of them to become as well acquainted as Y/N had been to either of them. Whenever he came over, Spencer liked to think of them as a small little family.

"Hey, Murph," he said, reaching out to pet the cat's head as he wriggled a little under Y/N's strong clutch.

She dropped him after shoving her face in his fur, and wasted no time taking Spencer's hand. "C'mon, I've got some vodka in the cupboard."

As she dragged him further into the kitchen, he squeezed her hand and tried to pull her to him, away from the cupboard. "Y/N, it's almost one in the morning, you need to go to bed."

She turned to face him and whined. "But it's my birthday, you can't make me."

"Well, technically it isn't your birthday anymore since it's past midnight. So, really, I can make you. Come on."

She whined again as he dragged her along to the bedroom. Once they got inside, he sat her down on the bed and reached out to pull off her party hat, which was lopsided and almost placed on her forehead like a unicorn horn. But when he touched the string, she grabbed his hand.

"I wanna leave it on," she said softly.

"It's not safe, you could choke yourself in your sleep," Spencer countered, brushing her hand away and taking the hat off. As his fingers brushed her cheek, she sighed and closed her eyes, a few seconds before letting out a little giggle.

"That tickled," she laughed as he set the hat on her bedside table.

She opened her eyes and smiled at him, and he started to feel all warm again. "Sorry," he whispered, taking the time to memorize the way she looked right then. The curls in her hair had fallen flat, and her makeup was a little smudged, but the lazy smile on her face and the way she blinked up at him with her big, beautiful eyes would always be worth remembering. He could have stayed in that moment forever, just sitting in that comforting silence.

But alas, she was drunk, and unable to be quiet for more than ten seconds.

Y/N lightly poked him in the chest and laughed. "Hey, d'y'think Murphy ever gets tired?"

"I'm sure he does," was all Spencer said, trying to get her to lay down. She did so as she spoke, rambling on about what she thought her cat might have done when she was away at work. But she stopped talking altogether when Spencer tried to put a blanket over her.

"No," was all she said, kicking her legs up.

"You don't want a blanket?"

"No, I want you to be in the blanket with me."

He thought about it for a second before motioning for her to scoot over. "I'll lay with you for a little while, but you have to promise me you'll go to sleep, okay?"

She giggled triumphantly as he laid down beside her and draped the blanket over their legs. "I told'ya a sleepover would be fun."

Spencer reached out and lightly rubbed her arm, knowing that always got her to fall asleep. "I know you did."

But she didn't close her eyes. She was unusually quiet though, just silently staring at his face before she sharply pulled her arm away. "You're tickling me again."

"I thought you liked when I rub your arm, it helps you sleep," is all he said.

Y/N grabbed his hand and pulled it up to lay between them on the pillow, separating their faces. She placed it palm up and rolled up his sleeves so she could rub his forearm, too. Her touches weren't as light, but she giggled all the same. "Am I tickling you?"

He wanted to tell her the truth, which was that she was not tickling him, and it actually felt really nice. But because it might make her feel better, he lied, and told her, "Yes."

"Good," she laughed, moving her hand faster. Now she was just tracing his forearm with her middle finger like she might rub out a stain on the carpet, and Spencer tried to wiggle his arm away.

"Y/N..."

He didn't say it to be mean or irritated, in fact his voice was level and soothing as not to alarm her at all, but all the same she gasped and immediately pulled her hand away. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?"

"No," he reassured, moving a little closer to her. "You didn't hurt me, I'm ok—"

"Let me kiss it and make it feel better," she continued, ignoring him completely. Before he could stop her, she grabbed his arm and brought it to her mouth, pressing gentle lips to the crease of his elbow trough the fabric of his shirt, then moving the tiny kisses along up his arm until she made it to his wrist. She didn't stop there, continuing to kiss the palm of his hand and even along his fingers, right until she reached his fingertips.

He laid there, completely still and mesmerized as she flipped his arm over and worked her way down again, kissing the backside of his hand and keeping her lips pressed to his wrist for approximately four seconds. Then she flipped his arm over again and kissed the palm of his hand once more, repeating her many kisses until she got to his middle finger.

He should have seen it coming.

He was so caught up in the feeling of her lips pressed against his skin that it completely slipped his mind that she was still drunk. So when she wrapped her lips around his middle finger and sucked it into her mouth with a laugh, he pulled his arm away and sighed.

She actually cackled with laughter, slightly flailing her legs under the blanket. "Gotcha!"

"Ha-ha," Spencer deadpanned, wiping his finger on his shirt.

He wasn't really sure what to say once her laughter died down, but once he opened his mouth to suggest they try sleeping, she spoke first.

"Can I have a glass of water?"

He studied her for a moment. "You're not going to try anything funny, are you?"

She laughed, leaning forward and brushing her nose against his for the briefest of seconds before retreating and looking him in the eye. "I wouldn't dream of it."

There was no way he could say no. "Alright. I'll be back in a second."

Spencer got out of the bed and turned to leave, but she leaned forward and grabbed his hand. "Wait! I have to tell you a secret first."

If he stayed and listened to what she had to say, it was probably dangerous territory, because in the movies this was always the moment where there were drunken confessions of things you never wanted to say out loud, right? And he didn't want to do that to her, but realistically she was probably going to say something ridiculous about Murphy. Right?

Nonetheless, Spencer turned around and looked down at Y/N. "What is it?"

She pulled his hand, scooting closer to the edge of the bed. "Come closer. It's a secret."

He leaned down, but she pulled him again. "Closer!"

Finally, he made his way down to her face, turning his head so she could whisper in his ear.

But she didn't. Instead he felt her press a kiss to his cheek, emphasized with a loud smooch-ing sound when she pulled away. He looked down at her to see the biggest smile on her face.

"S'all I wanted to say. You can go now."

He smiled back at her before nodding and leaving the room, his cheek and arm practically burning from where she'd kissed them.

And when he came back with her water, she was fast asleep.

***

More than anything she just wanted the banging to stop. But once she realized it was in her head, and it was there because she'd been drinking all night, her irritability was even worse.

"Fuck," Y/N grumbled as she struggled to open her eyes. When she did open them she found Murphy curled into a ball at the foot of her bed, his white fur a stark contrast to the deep maroon color of her comforter.

The next thing she noticed was the smell of something... burning? But there wasn't any sound to be heard other than the beating of her head, so she had to wonder if maybe somewhere outside there had been some kind of fire. Or maybe she was just imagining it.

She wasn't going to investigate, but then she heard her front door open, and despite the pounding in her head, Y/N sat up straight, almost scared out of her mind. Instinctively she reached beside her, knocking over a pink party hat in the process, and grabbing the baseball bat she kept there in between her bed and the table.

As quietly as she could, Y/N crept through the bedroom until she reached the door, pressing her ear against it to hear anything more. She heard plastic bags rustling around, and though that was fairly innocent in terms of menacing sounds, it still didn't quell the feeling that punched her in the pit of her stomach. Though, to be fair, she was certain a lot of that had to do with the copious amounts of whiskey and other liquor she drank the night before.

She took a deep breath before slowly swinging the door open and taking a few quiet steps into the hallway, just before she had to turn the corner to get into the kitchen. The noise got louder as she approached, and after taking another slow, deep breath, Y/N jumped out and held her bat out in front of her.

"FBI! What Are you doing in my house?"

"Holy shit!"

Spencer was standing in her smoky kitchen, clutching his hand to his chest. "Y/N, it's just me! Put the bat down!"

It clattered to the ground as she sighed out and shook her head. "What the hell, man, you scared the shit out of me!"

"Right back at you! I was just bringing you some breakfast..."

Y/N surveyed the kitchen and found that, sure enough, there were what looked like wrapped sandwiches on the counter. "Why is it all... burn-y in here? What happened?"

Spencer looked around nervously, his hands fumbling at his sides. "I, uh... tried to make you French toast. I know it's your favorite, and I know that greasy food is supposed to help with hangovers, so I tried to make some bacon, too, but it turns out that I really suck at multi-tasking in the kitchen, and I burned it all... So, I went with gas-station breakfast, which I figured was the next best thing."

The way he spoke reminded Y/N of a little kid who got caught doing something they weren't supposed to. He was extremely apologetic, almost in a way that made her think he thought she'd yell at him.

Now she remembered just a little of what happened the night before. She remembered drinking a lot and then Spencer taking her home, but she was so tired and out of it that all the little details weren't clear. Or present at all, really. All she knew when she looked at him in her kitchen right then, was that she'd never been more happy to see anyone while hungover. Especially since that someone happened to be her best friend and brought her breakfast.

She smiled and walked over to him. "That was really sweet of you, thank you."

Spencer looked down at her and smiled. "Sorry about scaring you."

"Eh, don't be. It was a good wake-up call," she laughed. "What would I do without you?"

He reached his hand out and brushed some of the hair from her face, at which she almost melted. "I think I should be asking you that question."

Something came to her mind just then, and she wasn't sure why. But she took the risk anyway, turning her head and kissing the inside of his palm.

"W—what was that for?"

Y/N shrugged. "I don't know. Just felt right."

She didn't know how long they stood there, smiling at each other, but it felt different, like suddenly the air around them had shifted overnight into something palpably electric. And it's that energy that urged her to say something she'd been afraid to say for so long.

"Hey, I uh... I don't know if this is weird timing, and you can say no even though it was my birthday yesterday, don't feel pressured to say yes, but I—"

"Yes."

Y/N raised an eyebrow. "You don't even know what I was going to say."

"I don't care," Spencer said simply. "Whatever it is you want, it's yours."

"So, if... If I asked you to dinner tonight—"

"Yes."

Her stomach churned, but this time it had nothing to do with the hangover. The pounding in her head was more of a dull thrum now because the pounding in her heart overpowered it. And it grew even more intense when her best friend took a step closer, placing his hand to the side of her face.

"I wouldn't kiss me right now if I were you," she warned, tilting her head to the side. "Hangover breath is basically a bio-hazard, and you're going to completely rethink going out with me."

Spencer shook his head and leaned in even closer. "I don't care."

As he kissed her, she lost herself in him completely and came to the conclusion that he was the only hangover cure she would ever need.

***

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes

[im-juggling-fandoms]

She never learns, does she?

A Resident Evil fanfic of reader who is a former lover of Albert Wesker but is now on the run from him when she discovered his involvement in the Raccoon City incident. She is terrified of him and what he’s capable of and at the same time angry with herself for not being capable to suppress her feelings towards the man. She’s also determined that he is obsessed with her, it doesn’t matter where she hides, he always finds her and he just won’t stop. So far, reader has been lucky to get away just in time before his arrival. This time, she’s taken by surprise.

Rated mature. 18+ for language, deaths and sexual content.

Long time no see, dear heart..

It has been three years, four months and seven days since the last time Y/N felt herself at home. Now, the closest thing she got to feel like home was the people she surrendered herself with. The people who gave up their own lives to make sure of your safety. What would you have done without their sacrifices? You didn’t need much time to think over the possibilities. You knew you would’ve been dead.

You were a loose end that knew too damn much and Albert wouldn’t stop until he silenced you for good.

After all these years, it still hurt you. The two of you once shared everything together. Or so, you thought. One day you had stumbled upon his underground laboratory that had been hidden from your view for two years behind a massive mahogany bookcase. You found his research, you found an entire life he had been living in a city called Raccoon City not far from where you had built up your life. You found everything. It terrified you how gullible you had been about everything. You believed him when he said he was working at the bank downtown, why wouldn’t you?

It was all a lie. He had been creating horrific viruses and killing people to the left and right before he came home to your bed and ravished your body with his.

It made you sick.

But it made you hurt even more.

You kind of liked the little bed and breakfast you had been calling home for three days now who had an incredible view of the Swiss mountains from your room. It was peaceful and the landscape alone made you hope for a brighter future. Maybe you could finally settle down? It surely would help your mental state to have some peace and quiet. Well, it had been quiet for you and your friends for several weeks now and they told you over and over again not to let your guard down but you just couldn’t help yourself as you peeked over to your sleeping friends before you turned back to the window you where standing in front of. The sun made its way up over the mountains and it cast such a mesmerizing view over the little village. You knew you should be careful but you really wanted to go outside by yourself, if only for a few minutes.

You put your coat over your red nightgown and the silk was so smooth to your skin it almost felt like you were naked underneath.

Before you exited, you made sure to at least pack a gun into your hip holster. You hurried out, careful not to make any sound when closing the door behind you. There was a small hallway with a few rooms and a long stairwell leading down to the lobby. You walked with your hands in your pockets as you exited the B&B and felt the cool spring wind kiss your face. This, this was exactly what you had been needing, some peace and quiet.

You took a stroll around the village that began to wake up. You took in every smell, every sound.. it almost felt as you were vibrating.

Wait

You put your hand in your pocket and retrieved your phone who was buzzing like crazy.

Jeez.. you thought, you hadn’t been out more than maybe a little over ten minutes and Jessica was already buzzing up your phone.

Where the hell are you? Come back right now! You know we don’t go anywhere alone! She wrote.

Jesus Christ, Y/N! What are you thinking?! Jared wrote you.

You couldn’t help but feel ashamed and guilty. What where you thinking? These people had offered everything to go underground with you and yet, you jeopardize everything by taking a goddamned stroll..

You sighed loudly and turned your little stroll back to the B&B. As you walked hurriedly, you went over in your head the best way to explain to your friends why you went out but every outcome was the same. It made you sound stuck up and ungrateful. You decided it was for the best to just apologize and own your mistake. You told yourself that you would promise them to never do anything like this ever again and you meant it.

The lady at the front desk was sitting with her back towards you as you entered the lobby. You wondered if you should bid her good morning but she seemed devoured in that book of hers so you decided to just leave her be. You walked past her but something in the corner of your eye made you stop in your tracks immediately.

You turned your head slowly in her direction and what you feared the most, became reality.

She wasn’t devoured in a book as it first had seemed. She was lying with her face into the open book. The pages that once must’ve been white was colored red and she was as still as a statue.

You grabbed your gun from your holster and called out for your friends to come downstairs as you walked towards the dead woman.

It was as quiet as a graveyard.

Nothing.

A not in your stomach began to build and you abandoned the dead woman and bolted up the stairs as fast as you possibly could and kicked the door to your room open, only to reveal it abandoned.

You began to panic. Where the hell where your friends? It couldn’t have been more than five minutes ago they blew up your phone.

Maybe they got so worried that they decided to go out and look for you? Maybe they had found the woman at the front desk and was at the police station? You had to find them.

You walked down the stairs once again, this time the peace you earlier felt was long gone. When you rounded the crook of the stairwell you completely froze. This time, you literally could feel the ice slithering up your spine.

Albert sat down in one of the armchairs that faced the stairwell, his face were stoic and calm and he had one of his legs over the other which made him look like he was waiting for someone.

He’s waiting for you.

You knew that your gun couldn’t do him any harm. Jared had fired multiple shots at him three years ago during our time in Japan but Albert had dodged every single bullet like he was some kind of a super human. You where lucky you got out of there alive. That was the last time he got this close as he was now.

Your insides were in raging, burning agony. You were so terrified that you trembled but at the same time, your heart hurt with the memories of your love years ago.

“Long time, no see, dear heart.” He spoke and you had forgotten about what a velvety voice that man possessed. Every word rolled of his tongue with absolute expertise. You wouldn’t let him fog up your brain anymore so you stood tall, the gun in your hand pointed directly at his beautiful face even though you knew it was useless, you wouldn’t let him think you would give up so easily.

“Where are my friends, Albert?” You asked. Your hand which held the gun were shaking and you tried to steady it the best you could but to no avail. You were so scared and it was displayed openly for him to see.

Before you could even register that it had happened, Albert had got up from the armchair and made his way over to you. You have no idea how he did it but he had managed to do it in shorter than a second. Now, he stood towering before you, mere inches between the two of you. He was so close that you could inhale his scent. The scent that you had forgot made its way up your nostrils and an raging battle began taking form inside of you. A part of you wanted to run, as far away as you could from this monster of a man or whatever the hell he was and the other part wanted to forget everything that has happened over the years and pull him in for one of those kisses that made your mind all foggy.

You looked up at him hesitantly, his sunglasses was covering his eyes, covering those magical light greys you so well remembered. The eyes you spend so many nights gazing into while you were making sweet love to each other. You didn’t need to see them to have all of those memories pool into your mind immediately, his presence did it all.

He grabbed your wrist of the hand that held the gun and you tried to make him let go of you but he was so strong that it barely even phased him. Without any trouble on his behalf, he took the gun out of your trembling hand and tossed it carelessly to the side.

“Where are my friends?” You tried again, this time your voice broke mid-sentence and you could feel the tears burning behind your eyes, threatening to break free and make you look even smaller than you already did.

“Three years, Y/N.” He began without any hint of emotions in his velvety voice, “You had me turning upside down on half the world for three years.” He finally stated.

“Just let them go, Albert, it’s me you want, isn’t it? They-“ you began sobbing, “They don’t know anything, I swear!” You exclaimed.

He pushed you up against the wall of the stairwell with his hands firmly on yours above your head. He leaned in closer to your tear filled face, so close that you felt his breath ghost over your skin ever so lightly.

“Don’t lie to me, Y/N.”

“I’m not lying, they don’t know anything about-“ you began hysterically but was cut off as he pushed you deeper into the wall and it made your backside ache profusely.

“Don’t. Lie. To. Me.” He pronounced every word with spitting venom. Now, you could feel how angry he was with you. The stoicism from before was a good act, you thought.

“Please, don’t hurt them.” You begged. “Do whatever you want with me but please, just let them go. They won’t tell anyone anything, I am sure of it. I can make them promise to not say anything to anyone! Please!” You were desperate. Every passing minute could mean that your friends lives were closer to an end and you had to do everything you could to help them. Just as they had helped you.

He chuckled.

You looked up at him in confusion under your wet eyelashes, the tears blurring your vision ever so slightly.

“I am not interested in making conversation about your little friends.” He spoke up sternly before he lightened the hold he had on you. You were still pushed up against the wall but it hurt less than it did before.

“I just need to know they’re okay.” Your voice were merely above an whisper.

“They are, for now.” Albert confirmed. Jesus Christ, he was too damn close to you. You could see every little pore in his skin, his scent filled you up like a balloon that was going to pop any second. You knew that he was going to kill you and you felt nowhere near being ready to die but his mere presence awoke something inside of you. The thing that you had been trying to bury deep, deep within. The undeniably eternal love you felt for him with the strength of a thousand elephants. It was blind and it was more forgiving than it was wise. It was so intense it made your skin burn and your insides too, you felt like a hot burning mess. It almost felt unnatural. Mainly because of what it did to you. You had never felt this with anyone else, not ever. It felt like you belonged together. You still knew better, though. Hence why you left and had been on the run for years.

You felt weak and tired. All of this, all of these years had made you so tired. You just wanted it to stop. You were done. There was no use to try and fight him, he was way too strong now. It’ll only make you end up dying in more pain than necessary and you felt obligated to save yourself from that.

“Just get it over with. For old time’s sake, make it quick.” You said, your voice was on the verge of a new wave of tears but you managed to keep them at bay.

His hands let go off yours and you felt his body leave yours, the warmth disappearing by the second. You closed your eyes, ready for the fatal strike.

It never came.

You held your eyes closed for what felt like minutes but nothing happened.

You battle with yourself if you would dare to open them and see what was going on and after a while, you decided that you had to.

He was just standing there, a feet or so from you, with his back against you. His gloved hands were clasped neatly behind his straight back and it appeared as if he was in deep thought. You could tell that, even with his back to you. It was your bond that told you.

Should you try to run?

No.

You wouldn’t get far and you were so tired of this cat and mouse bullshit.

You just wanted it to end.

“Albert, please..” you softly spoke, almost begging him to put you out of your misery.

“You never learn, do you?” He said as he turned to you.

Your confused expression spoke for you and he smirked hastily.

“If I wanted you dead, you wouldn’t be standing here after all this time.”

You felt weak, confused and at the same time irritated. It felt as if you were back at square one. You had been running for your life only because you sincerely thought that he wanted to end it. All of the ruckus he had been making hadn’t exactly told you otherwise but it was true now when you actually thought about it, you had never once been harmed under these 3 years. All of your friends had been but never you.

“What do you want, Albert?”

“Isn’t it perfectly clear what I want, Y/N?”

You gave him a sour look. It really wasn’t. With all the information you now had on him, you had come to learn that he wasn’t that quiet but passionate lover you once thought you were dealing with. You’ve come to know that he was a sociopath and was capable to do about anything to preserve his goal which seemed to be collecting viruses from around the globe. You didn’t want to know what he was planning to do with them.

“Dear heart,” he began, that smirk upon his face for a few seconds before he continued, “I want what’s mine. I want you.”

If you thought you were confused before, it was nothing compared to what was going on inside your head right now.

“But you, you almost-You sent fucking mercenaries after us! You bombed one of the houses we were inside of, we just barely got out in time!” You fumed, your hand gesturing angrily with every word.

“You left without a word, Y/N, it made me very angry.”

“Oh, it made you angry?” You spat at him, every fear and tremble as blown away. “It made me angry when I found out you were a fucking liar! And not to mention a full blown psychopath!”

He briskly walked over to you and grabbed you by the shoulders roughly.

“You watch that tongue with me, Y/N, before I change my mind.”

“I’m done with these games, Albert! I’m done! Just get it over with, I can’t bear another second with this.” You said, refusing to face him. His face made you want to jump him right here right now. Your hormones were going crazy and you were equally angry as you were a hot, horny mess. The last time you orgasmed by another hand than yours was with Albert. You still remember it as if it was yesterday..

You had been slow cooking some fancy meat on the stove and had some baked potatoes filled with cheese and paprika in the oven. You were working on a side salad when he entered the kitchen freshly showered in nothing but a towel around his waist. He began kissing your neck and one thing led to another and before you knew it, you were sprawled out on one of the counters with his head between your legs, his tongue skillfully massaging your little bundle of nerves while two of his fingers were massaging the inside of your pussy and it didn’t take long before you clenched down on his fingers with a loud moan.

You needed to get your head straight. You couldn’t be thinking about things like that right now. You could literally feel the wetness pouring out of you.

“Hmm...” he hummed with a smirk. You couldn’t see his eyes but you felt how intense they were ravaging you right now.

“I can smell you.” He said, that damn smirk still plastered on his beautiful features. “You are aching for me Y/N, aren’t you?”

“No,” you said hastily, “Absolutely not.”

“Oh, yes you are.” Albert took one of his gloved hands to his face and removed the glove with his pearly white teeth. His naked hand snaked between your exposed legs and traveled up to your clothed pussy. You should slap him right across the face for taking such freedom to touch you like this and yet, you couldn’t do anything. You just stood there, looking up into his face, as if to get some reassuring that this wasn’t as wrong as it actually was.

He didn’t waste any time, he ripped the cloth from your skin with a growl. It probably would’ve stung your sensitive skin if it wasn’t for your arousal. You were dripping and you were desperately longing for the man that you deep down knew was the love of your life.

You grabbed his face with your soft hands and you tried to pull him into a kiss but he wouldn’t succumb to your wishes. He simply undid his belt, opened his trousers and pulled them down to his knees to reveal that he was already hard. You mouth watered and your pussy ached painfully at the sight of his cock. The same exact cock that you had been fantasizing about every time you pleased yourself nowadays.

Albert pushed you once again against the wall of the stairwell but this time he lifted you up as well with his hands at your hips. He didn’t leave you any time to comprehend a single thing, he buried himself to the hilt into your tight, wet cave with a deep, deep groan. It sounded as he had been holding that inside of him for a very long time. You, on the other hand moaned out loudly for everyone to hear as the two of you finally were connected as one.

You had almost forgotten about how good he actually was in bed but all of that came right back to you as he demonstrated his skills by pounding into you evenly, he squeezed your soft hips with every movement.

You clawed desperately at the fabric on his chest as he pounded roughly into you. You didn’t mind him being a little rough, it were a long time since you last made love and if he was anywhere close to as desperate and aroused as you were, he probably couldn’t contain himself.

“Oh, Albert..” you moaned as a wave of pure pleasure washed over you, “I’ve missed you so much.” You confessed openly.

He didn’t answer.

Sure, he was a man of few words but he would always praise you and shower you with affection while making love, now he was all quiet except a grunt here and there.

It was extremely hard for you to get anything from his eyes since those sunglasses covered them and left you to look at your own reflection instead. You had no idea what he felt right now and it made you wary.

You reached for his glasses and removed them as best as you could while he was pounding into you tirelessly. What met you behind those glasses was nothing you were prepared for.

His light grey eyes were a distant memory and now replaced with the eyes of a demon. Red swam around tight slits and you almost didn’t believe what you were seeing. This wasn’t the Albert you remembered.

He was angry. So, so angry. You could feel it vibrating from his furious eyes.

You should be frightened, you should’ve ran away from him but something inside of you made you remain in place with nothing but shame for what you had done to the man you loved.

You had hurt him. You had most likely broken his heart by leaving him without so much as a letter. You had done this to him, you thought.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” You said, tears forming in your eyes as you leaned your forehead against his.

“You are mine.” He growled back,

“Yes.” You nodded in agreement.

“You will never betray me ever again.” Behind his anger you could detect the pain, the pain that you were responsible for.

“Never, baby, never. I’ve been so foolish.”

He slowed down his ministrations and captured your lips with his, the kiss became desperate very quickly, both of your tongues massaging each other in your mouths. You tugged at the locks at the back of his neck as you moaned into the kiss, giving yourself over to him completely.

You were still kissing passionately as he fucked you, and you knew that if he kept moving his hips like that together with his hot, wet mouth, you weren’t going to last very long.

You knew that he also knew.

Your legs began to shake from the intense, burning pleasure between your legs, your nails found his neck where you scratched helplessly as moan after moan escaped your lips.

Albert kissed your face and then went over to your neck affectionely, humming while doing so. Never breaking the rhythm in his thrusts.

“I’m-, I’m so close..” your voice were raspy and low, “Oh god, Albert..”

“That’s it, my sweet” he huskily whispered in your ear before he kissed the curve of your ear, “Come for me..”

You did so, your legs shaking with the same intensity as your screams that left your lips as you rode out the exquisite orgasm eagerly. Every fiber of your body felt as if it was on fire and you couldn’t do anything besides moaning and holding him tightly to you, afraid that he might disappear if you didn’t.

The orgasm left you weak to the bones but Albert didn’t let you rest. He withdrew himself from inside you and lead you upstairs, into the first room that was in sight.

Albert undressed the rest of your clothing and laid you down on the bed softly and positioned himself between your legs, this time with his face.

The first contact with his lips and tongue to your pussy made you moan out with eyes closed, your fingers finding their way down your stomach and onto his blonde locks.

This was one of the best things you know and you’ve been longing for it for three years, it didn’t matter that you had just had an orgasm minutes ago, because when he began using his fingers on you and sucking your clit between his delicate lips, you came undone for the second time today.

He kissed your thighs feathery light and traveled up your now naked body. He kissed and licked every inch of skin on your torso, your breasts he sucked and licked softly, which earned him a moan from you.

He crawled on top of you and spread your legs a little wider for the comfort of both of you. You wasn’t satisfied just yet, though.

“Please, remove your clothes.” You said, looking deeply into his red swirls. “I want to feel you on my skin. I’ve longed so for you, my love.”

He hesitated for a moment but complied to your request and removed his clothes in a blur, it didn’t take more than a few seconds before he was in between your legs again, now in his full naked glory.

You trailed your hands down his hard chest and down his hard washboard abs. You sighed deeply in fulfillment when he entered you once again.

He held you possessively by the neck as he was thrusting into you, his face mere inches from yours as your eyes were locked in each other’s gazes. You had your arms around his back, because you wanted to get as close to him as you possibly could.

You shared a few kisses as the love making grew hotter and closer to the edge for the both of you. It gave you such immense pleasure to see his own pleasure in those eyes of his. You wanted him to feel good, to unwrap himself completely inside of you.

The connection the two of you shared only made the sex even better, more intense than any sex you’ve ever had with anyone else. You didn’t only shared each other’s bodies but each other’s minds and souls as well. He didn’t need to tell you that he loved you, you could feel it with every kiss, every thrust, every single touch he laid upon you. It was magical and brought you straight over the edge for the third time, you were a moaning mess and you chanted over and over again how much you loved him. It didn’t take long after your release for him to find his own. With a deep grunt he filled you up right to the hilt but he remained inside of you just for a little longer.

You shared each other’s lips, and you caressed each other’s faces softly, lovingly.

“If you ever do something like this again, I’m going to have to kill you, Y/N.” He spoke softly but gravely.

“I know.” You responded as you kissed him on his forehead.

You knew that he wouldn’t forgive you a second time. You still had some questions you wanted answers to but you had already decided to stop fighting him. You loved each other, deeply and eternally. That’s all that matters to you. At least for now.

[waithyuck]

PUPPY

pairing: werewolf!lee jeno x reader (f) *halloweenie special*

genre: smut, supernatural au

word count: 4k

warnings: mature content, excessive explicit language, sexy times (meaning sexual content), I used the word ‘penis’ ONCE and only ONCE, mentions of a knot, knotting (I’m sorry), slight impreg kink, cumming inside, unprotected sex, blood, aggressive behavior, other stupid cliche werewolf things that are most definitely prob in hundreds of fics, jeno does NOT like being called a puppy even tho he’s called it oNCe

a/n: the first release of the dreamie halloweenie series! I hope this one sets the tone for what’s to come 👀 sorry to anyone who hates werewolf cliches and for the extreme lack of any substance or plot lmaoooo anyway I hope y’all enjoy reading

| next >

~10/10/2020~

~~~~

“are you cool with jeno staying the night?” your brother shot out, startling you as he spoke, not even looking at you as he spread too much peanut butter on a slice of bread nestled in his hand.

you looked up from where you were sitting at the kitchen table to face your brother, not saying anything in reply as you got lost in your thoughts.

jeno was an oddball. he was nice and he wasn’t creepy or even that weird, he just had his moments that were just well, odd. he was your brother’s friend of about six years; they met in their second year of high school and have been inseparable ever since. because of that, you have also been surrounded by jeno in all that time as well.

in the first couple years, you didn’t notice anything strange about him. he seemed like a normal and healthy young teenage boy. he was incredibly handsome, so of course your poor soul developed a small crush on him that only grew as the years progressed.

since you paid such close attention to him, you could pick out the oddities in his behavior occasionally pretty well. just from that, you’ve deducted that his sense of smell was almost god-like, like he could smell things that a normal person couldn’t.

now, you supposed that it wasn’t that weird that he had a good sniffer; there were probably tons of other people in the world with the same ability...but it wasn't just his sense of smell that had you curious.

sometimes he would act strangely at night; not often, but enough to have you questioning it. he would either disappear completely without a word or come up with a half-assed excuse to leave and then run away like a frightened animal.

it was just plain odd...and you couldn't get over it, no matter how much you tried to will yourself not to think about it.

snapping out of your stupor, you felt your heart jump at the thought of jeno coming over, even though he’s been here countless times, but you didn’t let it show and you shrugged your shoulders.

“it’s not like I have a choice in the matter,” you stated truthfully, looking down to pick at your nails. “you would have just said he was coming over anyway if I said no.”

your brother smiled at you, beaming as he placed the bread down and patted your head.

“you know me so well, y/n.”

you rolled your eyes, shoving him away. “yeah,” you retorted, slightly annoyed. “It’s not like you’re my brother, or anything.”

he didn't say anything further and you left him alone with his sandwich, getting up and making your way to your room where you could successfully hide for the rest of the night. before your cold make it far, you heard your brother yell something about jeno coming around 8, but you didn't say anything back and just minded your own business all the way upstairs to your room.

you pathetically holed yourself up in your dark room for about four hours, only coming out to quietly sneak to the bathroom and then you would go back into hiding once again.

even when you got word that there was pizza downstairs, you ignored it and continued to watch horror story narrations on youtube.

you just couldn't deal with being in the presence of your long time crush today. it took everything in your power to stop yourself from going downstairs and being potentially spotted, but you managed to pull through successfully and be a pathetic hermit in your room.

it was around 3 a.m. when you were finally finished with watching youtube videos, and you felt gross. you supposed that the two boys would be sound asleep by now, considering your brother never ever sacrificed his beauty sleep for anyone. you grabbed some clean clothes and gathered them in your arms before trudging tiredly to the bathroom, swinging open the door without a second thought, not realizing that the light was already on when you got there.

your heart almost jumped out of your chest as your eyes bulged out of their sockets.

“holy fuck!” you screeched as you took in the sight of jeno, in the middle of the bathroom completely naked, stroking his painfully hard cock right before your eyes. you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the show and you accidentally discovered that there was something not right about the way it looked...

your mouth fell agape and you barely heard him gasp loudly before trying to cover himself with the closest towel.

“jesus christ, y/n!” he yelled back, both of you not even considering your sleeping brother that was just three rooms over.

your eyes stayed glued to where he was covering himself with the towel, still thinking about the oddity of his dick. it seemed to be swelling at the base, which was definitely not normal for a human penis to do.

“what the fuck is wrong with your dick?” you blurted out unapologetically, causing a blush to cover his entire face and neck. you tore your eyes from his covered crotch to look at his eyes, which were now a shocking shade of bright yellow. you jumped back, dropping your clothes on the floor as you watched him breath heavily, most likely trying to calm himself down the same as you.

“oh my god, what the actual fuck is happening?” you murmured out loud, your eyes wide and never leaving his own as he stood silently in front of you. “am i dreaming? am i fucking high?” you tried to reason out as to why you were seeing what you're seeing, but jeno didn't give you much time to think before he spoke.

“you’re not dreaming,” his voice came out low, almost like a growl, and you felt your heart freeze up. “I dunno if you’re high...but what you're seeing is as real as it gets.”

your mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping out of water, trying to formulate the words to say next. your brain literally couldn't think of anything except his abnormally large and weird dick.

“okay…” you trailed off, your hands coming up to rest over your racing heart. “so then I’ll ask again: what the fuck is up with your dick??” and then you quickly added, “and your eyes??? I'm so confused right now, jeno.”

he sighed heavily and turned around, giving you a full view of his ass before he gathered his clothes to get dressed and cover himself. you really should have looked away, but your eyes wouldn’t listen to your internal screaming no matter how hard you physically tried to stop staring.

when he pulled his shorts on he finally turned to face you once more, forgoing a shirt much to your dismay (but really, you were dying on the inside at the sight of his abs). he stared at you for a second, his eyes back to their natural deep brown color.

“...there's a lot we need to talk about.” was all he said before grabbing your wrist in his scorchingly warm hand and dragging you out of the bathroom and down to your room. you didn’t protest and you let him practically drag you all the way there, closing the door behind him and guiding you to plop down on your bed. jeno walked to the opposite side of the room, distancing himself from you as much as possible.

“um..so,” he started hesitantly, trying to form his words correctly. “I’m uh, I'm a werewolf.”

your eyes bulged out of your head in disbelief, but you didn't say anything in reply. you both stared at each other across the space of your bedroom, not uttering a single word.

at first you were ready to call him crazy; there was absolutely no way that it was true. but then you thought about his eyes, his sense of smell...and then thought about his cock...holy shit wait, was that a fucking knot??

“um, yeah, it was…” you heard him say suddenly. you jumped out of your skin at the sound of his voice, not expecting him to reply. did you say that out loud by accident?

“you did.”

okay fuck, you needed to stop thinking and pull yourself together. what were you supposed to say to that? ‘oh cool, your cock has a knot and you’re a fucking werewolf, that’s super, jeno!’

jeno went on to explain the ins and outs of being a werewolf to you over the next twenty minutes, the small pink blush on his cheeks never truly leaving as he went into detail about everything. he even corrected certain cliches that were not true, a scowl making its way to his features with each inaccuracy you brought up.

“so...my brother doesn’t know?” you questioned quietly, looking down at your lap.

“no one knows besides you and my family.” he confirmed, and you looked up again to see him lean against the wall behind his back, eyes gazing sharply at you.

you panicked slightly, thinking that holy crap, now that you know, he's gonna have to kill you so the secret doesn't get out.

“oh my god,” you whimpered out, “are you going to kill me now?”

you watched his eyes widen before he choked, coughing violently before composing himself. he straightened his posture, but still didn't make any move toward you, still keeping his distance.

“what?!” he practically shouted, startling you. “of course not! why would I do that??”

you felt your face grow hot and you looked away once again, wringing your hands together on your lap. you shrugged, murmuring quietly, “i dunno...I thought you'd kill me to keep the secret, well, you know, a secret…”

you heard him sigh exasperatedly before hearing his soft voice grace your ears from across the room.

“I don't kill people, y/n.” he sounded slightly sad, and you then felt bad about assuming something so terrible of him. “the only time I kill is when my instincts become too much to control, and I snap.” his head hung low, but he quickly added. “but I’ve never actually killed a person, even if my instincts were screaming at me to.”

you tried to wrap your mind around what his wolf instincts were like; he only briefly touched on that topic earlier, seeming like he didn't want to talk about it too much. you being yourself, of course you had to pry.

“so like, what you’re saying is,” you started, your hand cupping your chin in thought as you pondered over your thoughts. “that if you were to like, hypothetically, snap right now and go all feral, you would want to kill me?” the question came out inflected as a statement, but you nonetheless awaited his answer patiently as you took in the sight of his face going through about five different emotions in the short span of a couple seconds.

“I don’t think…” he trailed off, looking down at the floor while clenching his fists. “I don’t think killing you would be my first instinct,” he looked up at you, his eyes blazing a slight yellow again as he seemingly stared into your soul. “...if you catch my drift.”

at first you were completely confused, not sure what other instincts he could express while being feral, but then it all clicked and it had your body heating up at the thought.

“oh.” you simply retorted, your eyes glazing over at the implication of him pinning you down and taking you as he pleased. “oh, fuck. you’re fuckin’ serious?”

his eyes were dark as he drank you in, his nostrils flaring slightly as he subtly sniffed the air between the both of you. dear god, you hoped that he couldn’t smell the sudden arousal that consumed you. you watched his eyes glow into a bright yellow and you felt your instincts screaming at you to run, but you held his gaze as he let a low growl escape his mouth.

“y/n,” he said, low and strained as he tried to fight his animal instincts. “you need to leave if you don’t want this, right now.” his words were final, no room for questioning.

you briefly tried to think it over; what would actually happen if you stayed and let him have you? you could probably die, first and foremost, but you shook that thought away even though it was a very real and serious possibility. you couldn’t deny your arousal at the whole thing, being taken like a bitch in heat by a guy you’ve been thirsting over for a while now. you may not get the chance to fuck a werewolf again, so you quickly made your decision.

“I’m…” you trailed off, dragging your gaze down to his neck and collarbones where you could make out the sweat forming on his perfect skin. “I’m staying, jeno.” you spoke softly to him, watching his brow furrow in confusion before smoothing out again.

you made your way to him and he stiffened up, watching your every move like a predator as you tentatively stopped in front of his panting form. reaching a hand up, you caressed his face, your breathing shaky as you leaned in closer.

“you can have me, puppy.” you threw in the last little jab with that sudden nickname just for fun, your heart soaring at the sound of the deep growl he let out upon hearing it. you fought the smile off your face as he practically pounced on you, pushing you over to the bed and pinning your body underneath his in one swift movement.

“I’m a puppy, huh?” he questioned darkly, his glowing eyes roaming over your face before his head dipped down to nose at your throat. you whimpered softly as his teeth nibbled on your sensitive skin, earning a satisfied growl from him.

you felt your shorts stick to your core from how insanely soaked you had become, and you grew hot at the idea of him pulling them down to find that you were, in fact, pantieless. he had your wrists pinned down against the mattress, not allowing you to touch him much to your annoyance. you tried to struggle against his supernaturally strong hold, but was met with a deep snarl in response. you immediately grew pliant underneath him out of pure instinct.

he pulled back, sharp canines prominent in his mouth as he fixed you with his glowing stare, red swirling with yellow in his bright irises.

“don’t fucking move,” he spat, his voice coming out low and gutteral, causing a flood of your own arousal to escape you down below. his nostrils flared for the second time that night, and he breathed in deeply at the scent of your wet and begging cunt. “be a good girl and take what I give you.”

the statement was final, and you barely had time to nod before he was tearing your t-shirt in two, biting the skin of your shoulder. his sharper teeth did not sink deep into your flesh, but when he drug the canines across your skin, you felt them rip you open. you let out what could be considered a poorly concealed scream, but it came forth as more of a moan as you felt hot blood trickle down your arm.

your shirt was in ribbons, and he looked extremely pleased as he took in the beautiful sight of your naked breasts, no bra in his way. he watched as your chest heaved up and down in anticipation, and he released your wrist to gently trail both of his hand over your body.

“your tits are so pretty,” he murmured, diving down to take one of your nipples into his mouth. he worked your other boob with one of his hands, kneading it and flicking your sensitive nipple.

your back arched into his touch, and you tried your best to stay as quiet as possible in fear of your brother hearing you.

he suckled hard; nibbling your nipple and dragging his teeth along it, causing shivers to run up your spine and your core to clench around nothing. your shorts were without a doubt ruined at this point.

your nails scratched down his back and he continued to ravage your chest, alternating between both of your breasts and teasing your sensitive buds with no remorse. it felt like hours of play, but eventually he pulled back to roughly grip the fabric of your shorts and tear them down your legs, exposing your dripping core to his hungry eyes.

you whined as he stared at you, reaching your arms out towards his own pants, wanting to see his cock again now that you were laying there, desperate and pouting for it.

his eyes shot to your face, smirking as he watched your brow furrow and your lips purse, your hands trying to grab at him from your place on the bed.

he didn’t allow you to pull his shorts down for him; instead he hooked his own thumbs in the waistband and pulled them down slowly, exposing his cock inch by inch before it finally sprung out, slapping against his stomach proudly.

your mouth watered at the sight of him once again and you moved to try to sit up, but didn’t get very far. he grasped your non-bleeding shoulder and roughly shoved you against the mattress once again, not saying anything. the stare he gave you oozed enough dominance for you to clearly get the message that he was trying to send.

jeno didn’t waste any time spreading your thighs open, two of his fingers immediately swiping through your embarrassingly wet slit before easing inside your tight hole. the stretch burned at first, considering he was starting you off with two fingers instead of one, but you welcomed the slight pain that mixed with the pleasure of him reaching up with his thumb to graze over your throbbing clit.

jeno thrusted his fingers into you gently at first, gradually picking up the pace as he went along. before you knew it he was adding a third finger, stretching your more than you’ve been stretched before.

you gasped at the feeling, your back arching off the bed as you cried out while he started finger fucking you with earnest.

“shhh, baby,” he said quietly, his movements never ceasing. “just gotta open you up for me, make sure you can take my knot.”

you held back another moan at that, thinking of how his cock would stretch you open, and how full you would feel with his knot nestled inside you.

he abruptly pulled his fingers from you, causing your back to arch again as you protested the loss of stimulation. his strength amazed you, and with one hand on your belly he pinned you down completely, sucking on the fingers of his other lewdly while stating you in the eyes.

after licking his fingers clean, (which caused heat to crawl it’s way down your belly), he kissed you sloppily on the mouth once again before gripping your waist and roughly flipping you over onto your knees.

your chest was flush against the mattress as well as your face, and your hips were lifted high in the air and you could feel the heat radiating off of him as he positioned himself behind you.

his nails drug down your sides and he gripped one of your hips with his hand, using his other to position himself at your leaking entrance. you wiggled your hips in anticipation, whining as he drug the head through your folds before slowly sinking inside you.

your fingers gripped the pillows as he bottomed out, his knot already slowly forming at the base of his shaft. it stretched you ever so slightly at the entrance of your core, and you whimpered out in pleasure as he started thrusting in and out.

the small form of his knot caught on your entrance with each precise thrust, and you were finding it very difficult to stay quiet. jeno’s breaths were heavy and every so often he would let out a soft growl as he felt his tip pound gently into your cervix.

your small whimpers were short and staggered, escaping your mouth with each thrust, which spurred him on to create a faster and harsher pace. he leaned over your back and didn’t relent as his cock punished you pussy, and when you let out a cry that was just a little bit too loud, he shoved your face right into your pillow to silence you.

“shut up,” he panted, a rumble low in his chest following his words. “just fucking take it.”

you nodded your head in response to the best of your ability, biting your lip to keep quiet as the presence of his hand left the back of your head.

he seemed to be getting close now, and you could feel yourself teetering on the edge as well. it was uncommon for you to cum without any clitoral stimulation, and you were amazed at his ability to reach all of the most pleasurable spots inside you.

you felt your stomach tightening up and you gasped sharply when you felt his cock press right against your sweet spot, making you reach your high almost instantly.

you clamped around him, barely registering that he buried himself completely inside you and was now stretching you to the max with his fully developed knot. the pain of the stretch only intensified your orgasm, which had you screaming into your pillow to muffle your cries of ecstasy.

jeno growled loudly as he came shortly after, biting the back of your neck aggressively and painting your walls with his cum, emptying completely inside of you while his knot kept a single drop from escaping.

he withdrew his teeth from you, surprised that it didn’t break your skin, and gently moved the two of you to lay on your sides as you basked in the afterglow of what just occurred.

your chest heaved as you fought to catch you breath, you pussy still stretched to its limit as you laid with him. you reached an arm around to caress his face, a small show of affection as you smiled in bliss.

after catching your breath, you sat in silence for a bit, just bathing in each other’s warmth, before you had to go and open your big mouth again.

“so your knot is supposed to like, plug me up?” you questioned, your voice still sounding slightly out of breath as you panted. “to make sure I get like, hypothetically, pregnant or whatever?”

he groaned in response and gripped your hips tightly, his hips bucking and causing his still painfully hard cock to sharply jab against your sensitive insides, making you yelp.

“dear god, y/n,” he whined, his nails digging into your skin. “don’t say things like that, fuck.”

“oh, so you like that idea?” you teased, turning your head to try to look at him to the best of your ability considering your current position. “fucking me full of babies?”

his eyes stared down at you intensely, the color of his irises brightening up as he growled lowly at you. he suddenly gripped your hips and turned you both over, his body completely laying on your own as you were pressed against the mattress on your stomach.

“keep talking, y/n,” he growled out lowly, his hips pressing tightly against your ass, the head of his cock kissing your cervix. “I’ll fuck you again right now, and give you my fucking babies.”

he couldn’t see you, but you smiled contently, preparing yourself for another intense round with this beast of a man. there was a small chance that you would actually get pregnant, considering the IUD you had…but the thought of it had you ready to go at it again.

in some fucked up way, you were content with this, and you threw your hips up to grind back against him, grinning even wider as he pinned your body down even harder.

jeno fucked you like an animal until the sun came up, and your brother was none the wiser.

[writing-hazard]

The Place Beyond The Sky (chapter 4)

Masterlist

Words: 797

Warnings: badly translated Sindarin

Pairing: Haldir x OC

When a strange human speaking a foreign tongue appears outside Imladris one day, it changes the fate of Arda forever. More than that, it changes the fate of Haldir, who finds his path hopelessly intertwined with hers.

Bold italics are Star-Speak! Also, please don’t bully my awful Sindarin, I spent like an hour going back and forth on different weebly lessons just for this one sentence :,) I did my best

ARIA IS LAYING IN THE GRASS, A PATCH OF SUNLIGHT WARMING HER ALONG WITH THE GROUND BENEATH HER. Haldir supposes he can’t really say anything in particular about it, given that this is somewhat of a more private place. Still, it feels a little strange for a lady to lay in the grass.

“The sky here is very pretty,” Aria sighs, immensely pleased. Briefly, Haldir wonders how she continually notices him so quickly without even opening her eyes. “And the sunlight is warm, and I can hear birds and leaves when I close my eyes. I enjoy it; it’s all very peaceful.”

“I’m glad you like it here, Lady Aria,” Haldir replies, and he’s a little surprised by how true that is. She smiles lightly.

“I am too; although I hope to one day travel the whole of Arda, to see all its beauty,” she confesses. “For now, I am more than content to enjoy Lothlórien.” He smiles a little, but some part of him has begun to hope she’ll stay here for a while longer.

“It is lovely,” he agrees, “but why do you lay in the grass? There is a bench naught but twenty steps to your left.” She laughs, the sound echoing through his mind into something perhaps more beautiful than it is.

“I lay in the grass because it is soft,” she informs him, still smiling. “I have seen little grass in my life, and I like it; therefore, I am enjoying it.” He smiles at her, with a twinge of amusement.

“If you have seen little grass, then perhaps you aren’t informed of its penchant for staining clothes,” he advises her, almost daring to tease. Her eyes open, and she looks at him in curiosity.

“It stains clothes?” she wonders, amazed. “How incredible. I wonder why.” A long silence passes before Haldir speaks again.

“You said your people don’t originally speak Westron,” he reminds her, almost as though she’d forgotten. She hums.

“That is true,” she confirms. He shifts slightly.

“What do they speak, then? What does your native tongue sound like?” he wonders. She smiles lightly, sitting up and tucking her legs to her side.

“In Westron, I would call it Star-Speak,” she advises him. “It has developed a long way since my people left our home planet, many thousands of years before my birth. As to its sound, well…” she tilts her head to the side, thinking for a moment.

“I guess the only way to tell you is just to speak it,” she muses, in the language itself. “I don’t really know what to say, but I hope this is good enough.” He blinks with some amazement.

“How incredible,” he notes. “I don’t recognize it in the slightest, of course; but it sounds lovely.” She smiles again.

“Thank you, Haldir,” she replies lightly. “I’m glad you think so, at least; I think Lord Elrond was rather too busy trying to understand me to appreciate the language.” They both laugh a little at that; Haldir cannot imagine Elrond at such a loss.

“Star-speak,” he repeats quietly, still amazed. She turns her head to him in interest.

“What about you?” she inquires. “I’ve heard Sindarin, of course, but never from you.” He offers up a small smile before affixing his attention to the sky.

“Menel bain,” he sighs, “ach ci langë vain.” (1) She hums, returning her focus to the sky.

“You say Star-Speak is lovely, but it’s not as beautiful as Sindarin,” she sighs lightly. “Perhaps I’ll manage to learn it soon.”

“I could teach you,” he offers, without thinking. “I mean— if you would like.” She smiles.

“I would love that,” she assures him, looking so genuinely pleased that it urges him to say the next words.

“But if you don’t mind,” he continues, “I’d like it if you could teach me Star-Speak, in return.” She sits up, looking at him like he just offered something strange.

“You would learn Star-Speak?” she wonders, looking bewildered. His heart aches for her a little; it must be tough, staying on a planet where nobody knows your native tongue. He gets a little confused from time to time just visiting Imladris.

“If you would allow it,” he confirms. She smiles, though it looks a little sad.

“I will teach you,” she agrees, “but be warned that I will need to take some words from the Old Language. There are many things that no longer exist to my people.” He nods.

“Then we have a deal,” he agrees, sticking out his hand. This gesture, at least, she seems to understand. Her grip is firm when she shakes his hand, and he can feel some roughness to her hands from 3000 years of being a soldier.

Truly, this is the beginning of something beautiful.

1: “The sky is beautiful, but you are surpassingly beautiful.”

Taglist: @roxiloveskpop @thegemoflasgalen @crispynerdbarbarian @thevanillahorizon

[pascalpanic]

Cooking in the Crest (Din Djarin x gn!Reader)

Summary: You become sick of the endless prepackaged food you eat while living on the Razor Crest. From a holovid, you and Din try to learn how to cook.

W/C: 3.2k

Warnings: FOOD is a big warning here; this is all about food, cooking, and eating; some language, and mentions of violence and blood because Din is a hunter.

A/N: this was a request by lovely @binarydanvvers !! I hope you guys like it too :))

The Razor Crest was not exactly built to be a home. The beat up old ship, a pre-Imperial piece of garbage, was mainly meant to be a freighter, to carry loads and supplies around. It had a bunk, yes, but that was mainly for the pilot to sleep. Some ships were elaborately built and crafted to house people, even families; this was not one of them.

You could tell that from the moment you walked aboard. This was not built to be a home, but the Mandalorian and his little green child had made it one. It was endearing, really. It was still cold and harsh, not exactly welcoming, but there were little touches. A sling for the baby to sleep in above the man’s bunk. A few scattered toys for the kid. Extra clothing tucked away, and what seemed to be a makeshift kitchen.

It can hardly be called a kitchen. It’s more of a food storage area. The Mandalorian man has stored packets of food, dried or wrapped, water, and other assorted food necessities in a small corner of the ship. There’s also a device for heating meals, like the just-add-water foods he carries so many of.

The baby doesn’t complain. Well, he really can’t, considering that he cannot speak yet, but he never pushes away the food. Of course, his favorites are frogs and occasional organic things he picks up on the surface of the latest planet, but he’s never refused a nutrient bar or an instant bread loaf. The kid is always hungry; he’ll take anything.

You’ve been traveling with Din for a while now. He entrusted you with his name not long after he entrusted you with the care of his foundling. He’s a kind man, surprising beneath the layer of impenetrable beskar, with a warm laugh even through the modulator.

In this time, you’ve become exhausted over the endless routine of microwavable carbohydrate packs with dried proteins. A nutrient bar is a nice switch, but it’s endless days and nights of bland food. “Do you even eat? Does your species photosynthesize or something?” You’d asked Din once, teasingly knocking on his beskar.

“I’m human,” he assured you, voice dry. He presents himself as tired of your endless teasing, but you both know he could never be. You’re the energy, the entertainment to him and his little green child.

“I doubt that,” you teased, nudging his hip with your own as you walked past, the baby on your other side, giggling at your words.

The kid is smart. He can’t yet speak, but he can recognize meaning in words and the emotions you convey with your tones. You’ve been steadily working on teaching him the right morphemes to form words, but he’s just not quite there yet. He made a little babbling noise at his father, then turned and looked up at you, grinning with tiny white teeth.

Din must eat, you’ve come to notice. He never takes the helmet off; you’ve never heard his voice without the modulator, you’ve never seen him eat. But the stock of food dwindles at a quicker pace than it would for one and a half people, so he must consume some of it. You’ve noticed that the dried proteins or instant spicy grains go quicker- those must be his favorite. You’ve made mental notes several times to pick up extra when shopping.

As the three of you take off from the last planet, a lively and populous city center, your stomach is happy with its contents: you and the baby had gone on a culinary tour, trying different local delicacies. You glance at the kitchenette in the corner and wince at the protein bars. Surely you’ll be reduced to eating the dry and chalky sustenance the next time you’re hungry.

The baby sits in your lap, bouncing excitedly as the ship lifts off. He coos and waves his hands excitedly as Din turns and navigates, though it’s nothing too bumpy for the little thing to handle. There’s a jolt when you leave the atmosphere, and the baby squeals as the stars rush past when Din maneuvers the Crest into hyperspace.

Once the course is set, Din turns to you. You wonder what he’s thinking; it’s a shame you can’t see his face. “We should be at our next location in about a day.”

Your curiosity gets the better of you, heightened over the prospect of eating more dried, flavorless food. “Do you know how to cook?”

“Do I know how to what?” Din asks, cocking his head.

“Cook. You know, make food in a way other than using the microwave.”

Din stares at you for a minute. “No, I really don’t. I’ve never had reason to.”

“You don’t consider eating this bland shit eternally a reason?” You ask, folding your arms. The little green baby on your lap mirrors your actions, looking at his father. “I don’t either, but I think we both need to learn. I’m sick of this endless dried food and nutrient bars and instant grains.”

His shoulders rise and fall as he takes a deep breath. “Fine. How?”

“How what?” You ask, taunting him back from his earlier sarcastic question.

“How are we going to learn how to cook?”

You shrug. “We could take a cooking class on some populous planet. They have them for couples.”

Din looks at you, sharply even though you can’t see his face. “Okay, well, two people,” you chuckle, though you can’t help but notice the rigidity of his body. You’re skilled at reading his body language by now; something changed in him when you said couple. “Why the hell not?”

“Because, cyar’ika, I am a Mandalorian. I’m not exactly going to fit in with the happy honeymooners at a cooking class, searing bantha for my beloved.”

You frown at him. “You’re such a pain in the ass, Din. Work with me here.”

Din is frowning beneath the helmet. You can just tell. “I don’t exactly take orders from you.”

“It’s not an order,” you roll your eyes. “It’s a request. Please.”

Din sighs. He’s quiet for a minute. Then: “Fine.”

“Yay!” You grin and brace his beskar helmet in one hand, pressing a kiss to the visor. “It’ll be fun, come on.”

“I don’t know how fun that can be,” he grumbles.

-

The holonet turns out to be a surprisingly vast resource for cooking and recipes. You’d never expected this much to be uploaded to it. There are traditional dishes from Tatooine, Naboo, anywhere really. The first struggle is deciding what to cook.

You stop at another populous planet next. Thank the Maker, you mumble as you put the baby in the wrap carrier that straps him to your chest. “We’re gonna make something good, huh kiddo?” You ask and smooch the baby’s little green head. He just coos in return.

Wandering through the planet, you find various little specialty shops, and you mark off the list you’ve created. Spices from the shop specializing in them, fresh vegetables at a stall, meat from a grocer. When the foods are all collected, you return to the ship, where Din has purchased a portable heat source to be used for cooking.

The business Din has on the planet goes quickly and he’s back before you know it. You’ve barely had time to clean the vegetables under the small refresher sink before you hear the clink of beskar and the baby’s excited laughter at his return.

You carry the bowl of vegetables and grin as you spot Din on a crate in the corner, wiping down his armor of blood. “Welcome home, bounty hunter,” you tease as you arrange some crates to form a table and chairs and set the holoprojector in the center. “How’d we do today?”

“Wonderful,” he grumbles as he wipes a smear of mud off his chest plate. He finishes then looks at your arms, holding the ingredients. You set them down and the hot plate as well. “We’re cooking now?”

“I’m hungry,” you shrug.

Din nods. “I suppose. Do you want me to get piloting us out of here and then we can start?”

You shrug again. “We paid for a full day and night. Might as well use it.”

He nods and begins removing his beskar, leaving him in just his flight suit and helmet. You cock an eyebrow at him and tilt your head in confusion. “Don’t wanna get any food on the beskar.”

This makes you genuinely laugh, throwing your head back. “Oh, blood and dirt and mud are okay but no food? You have some odd standards, Din.”

No one has called him by his name since he was a child. You’ve never even said it aloud save for once or twice. The sound of your voice saying it is like the sweetest music; he could listen to it eternally. He’s a little nervous inside, tingly and fluttery from the feeling. Thank the Maker his helmet doesn’t let it show.

“Go wash your hands and let’s get going,” you order him, stacking two extra crates and setting the child on top so he’s the same height as the two of you. He’s delighted by the view, looking around.

You put the vessel on the hot plate then turn it on, unsure of how quickly it heats. Din returns not long later, sitting on his crate across from you. “First step?”

To answer his question, you turn on the holovid. A cheerful Zabrak narrates for you and shows you the steps, starting with the first: to chop the ingredients. Din reaches for his leg and you shoot him a glare, pausing the video. “You were not about to use that knife to prepare our dinner.”

Din just looks at you. “Why not?”

“God, you’re impossible,” you laugh, though it’s lighthearted teasing. “No, use this, a clean one.” You hand it over along with a few vegetables. Din starts cutting with neat precision, the yellow tuber vegetable falling in perfectly round slices to the surface you’d laid down before.

The baby whines in protest; he wants in. Looking around, you scramble for something before giving him the softest vegetable and a plastic utensil. “How’s that?” You ask him.

He’s delighted, slicing his vegetable and mirroring his parents and the video. When the step is finished, you press play again and it informs you to add some of the oil and cook the vegetables first.

Din pours them in, causing a sizzle from the hot cooking vessel. “Ooh, it must be ready,” you grin and drizzle some oil over the top.

“I don’t think that’s the order we were supposed to do it,” he points out, rewinding the video.

“Oh well,” you shrug and stir the vegetables. The aromatic plants waft from the steam, making you sigh in happiness at how wonderful the recipe smells, even now. “Can you smell under there?”

Din shakes his head.

You frown. “I’ll close my eyes. Lift your helmet and take a smell, it’s delicious.” You squeeze them shut as if to prove you’ll do it.

He would never trust anyone else like this. He’s surprised he even trusts you enough, but he unlatches his helmet and lifts it just enough to catch a whiff of the delicious smell. He sighs happily too and puts the helmet back on. “You can look again.”

You open your eyes and smile at him. “Well, we’re not doing terribly! What’s next?”

The video plays a little longer, telling you the next steps: add the spices to the cooking vegetables, stirring them in, then the broth you’ve purchased.

Picking up the bag, you rummage through for the intended spices. “You wanna do this part?” You ask Din.

“I’ll probably mess up.”

“Give it a shot,” you say with a warm smile and hand him several small pouches of spices and a measuring stick.

His fingers are thick and worn without the gloves, and the sight of them pinching the bright orange powder and sprinkling some in the pot is truly humanizing, indicative that this man is Din, not The Mandalorian like you knew him as before. He does that with the required spices, choosing to go by heart rather than the measured values.

You go next, adding the broth to the pot and closing your eyes to listen to the beautiful hiss of the liquid against the hot metal. “Do you think you could cook on beskar?” You tease Din. The man just shakes his head.

The recipe then indicates for you to cut up the meat and add it before covering and letting it boil. Din uses the sharp knife you’ve provided to once again, neatly slice the meat and add it to the pan. “You’re quite precise with that thing,” you inform him with an impressed nod.

He snorts. “I know the ten quickest ways to kill someone with it.”

“Still, precise to do that,” you laugh. You cover the pot and sigh, setting a timer on the holopad to the amount of time needed before the meal will be ready; thanks to the specialized tech in the hot plate, it won’t take long at all.

The baby shows you his knife work with the mushed vegetable. It’s considerably less impressive than Din’s, but you ooh and ahh over it all the same, making the baby beam with pride. “Your knife work rivals your father’s, little man,” you tease the baby and poke his side.

“Yeah right,” he snorts again and leans back against the metal wall of the Razor Crest’s hull.

While the food carries on its quick cooking, you prepare three bowls and spoons to eat with, setting each in front of where the three of you sit. The bowl is much smaller for the child, but he seems just as pleased.

The timer dings and you clap your hands together in excitement. “Let’s see!”

Lifting the lid, the smell that wafts out makes your stomach growl. “Oh, this is going to be good,” you sigh, setting the lid aside on the heatproof surface and scooping some into each bowl. “Careful, it’s hot,” you warn your boys as you a hand them their respectful bowls.

“It sounds wonderful but… you know I can’t eat it,” Din reminds you.

That makes you frown. “Of course you can. We made it together.”

“No,” he sighs. “I can’t eat it because I’d have to remove my helmet.”

The idea crosses your mind as quickly as his words. “Well then.” You stand and push your crate aside, then pull him up and do the same. With your bowl of stew in hand, you plop down on the floor and turn your back to him. “Now you sit with your back to me.”

“Cyare, I-“

“Just humor me, Din. Please.”

He sighs and gets on the floor, groaning at the creak of his joints and popping of his back. Din presses his back to yours, sitting with his legs splayed carelessly to either side. “There. This what you wanted?”

“Yes,” you nod. “Now eat. I won’t look, and the kid is your foundling, he can see you.”

Din is hesitant at first. He sits there for a moment while the baby slurps his dinner, pondering what to do. Then he remembers how much he trusts yoh. How you’d do anything for him and he’d do anything for you.

He removes his helmet, setting it to the floor with a heavy clunk. “There we go,” you smile and reach behind you to pat his chest. “Eat up. I bet you’re hungry from that hunt.”

“Hungrier from making this,” he grumbles as he scoops a spoonful, ungracefully shoving it in his mouth and moaning in content. “Oh, that’s damn good.”

“Isn’t it?” You laugh, eating some yourself and smiling at the flavor. “Seasoned just right,” you affirm him, resting your head back against his own. You can feel that he has hair- well, now you know he isn’t bald.

“Cooked properly thanks to you,” he reminds you.

“Ha! I don’t know shit about cooking. Thank that holovid,” you chuckle, nestling your back against his. You can feel every little notch of his spine, the lumps in a perfect line cascading down his body, as his back presses against yours. He’s warm, and you can feel him breathe in and out slowly- he’s relaxed. Good.

There’s a comfortable silence between the two of you as you eat your meals. The kid has long finished his tiny bowl and has passed out in his seat, which makes you laugh. He’s missing the sight of his helmetless father thanks to a post-meal nap.

No words need to be exchanged. There’s meaning in the silence, in the fact that you can hear his breathing and his real voice, the hard gulp of his throat as he swallows yet another bite. Maker, he’s so wonderfully human. You absolutely adore it.

When you’re done with your stew, you set your bowl to the side. Din does the same, and his back relaxes against yours. Neither of you are quite ready for him to put the helmet back on, so you breathe the unfiltered air with him, listen and feel him breathing, try to take in every detail of what his body feels like pressed to yours, even if it’s back to back.

“Din?” You ask softly after a few moments.

“Yes, cyare?”

“I promise my eyes are closed,” you tell him.

“What do you mean-“

Din is cut off when you close your eyes but turn, kissing his cheek. You can feel stubble beneath your lips, and above it smooth skin. God, he feels so damn warm. With your eyes still closed, you hug his neck. “Thank you for putting up with me.”

Din breathes slowly, forcing his heart rate not to accelerate into hyperspeed. “It’s not putting up with you,” he admits. “It’s enjoying you. I really do.”

The words make you flushed and flustered, honored that this strong and silent type has used such eloquent words to compliment you. “Thank you. For all of this, Din. Thank you for letting me know you.”

He’s grinning ear to ear, and he turns his face to kiss your cheek back. “You can know me all you want to, mesh’la.” Din puts his hands over your arms and takes one last moment in your arms. “Well, we need to put the child to bed, and I’m legally supposed to be wearing my helmet right now.”

You turn and sit with your back to him, smiling and nearly giddy from the moment. “Who’s gonna yell at you if you don’t? Mando police?”

Din groans and puts his helmet back on, ignoring you. When you both stand, you hug him for real this time, chests pressed together. “Thank you for a wonderful meal,” he mumbles through the modulator and presses his forehead to yours in a keldabe kiss. “Let’s do this more often.”

“I agree,” you nod and kiss his helmet one last time.

-

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @blo0dangel @binarydanvvers  @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867 @greeneyedblondie44 @hunnambabe @astoryisaloveaffair @emesispo @pedritobalmando @magikfanatic @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan @princess76179 @starless-eyes-remain @tacticalsparkles @queridopascal

[xenia-cenia]

Razor x Fem!Reader - Trust

A/N - I... have been avoiding writing this one, but he and Albedo are the last two before I can finish off the Mondstadt part of this series. Here’s hoping it doesn’t take me as long as the other ones lol

Post writing authors note: only took 2 hours so a lot better than my other ones

Trigger/Content Warnings: Injury, blood mention, slight manga spoilers, kidnapping, human experimentation mention, abusive sibling, food mention

Word Count: 1,552

Request: No

Summary: Ooooh dottore bad... razor good.... its 1am i have school tomorrow pretend this makes sense

---------------------------------------------------------------

You came to him on accident. 

You didn’t mean to stumble into the Wolvendom with blood coating your arm and chased by people who thought of you as nothing more than a Harbingers sister. You hadn’t planned on slipping in the mud and watching with fear in your eyes as your pursuers celebrated their victory. How could you of known that the scream that’d fall from your lips would alert a nearby boy?

Electricity remained in the air as he set his weapon down. He turned to you with a blank expression, “...hurt?”

“Who are you? Do you know what you’ve just done?”

“Hurt.” He pointed at your arm. “I fix.” Razor walked over to you and kneeled, carefully grabbing your arm.

“The Fatui! You’ve just... oh Archons, please help me. I’m so sorry, I got you into this mess and now you’ll be in danger, why did I scream?”

“Fa... tui?” He slightly cocked his head to the side.

“T-They’re people who want me back. I... I’m the sister of-”

“Family?”

You shook your head violently, “No! Not family!” You sighed, “I’m the sister of one of the harbingers. P-Please, tell me you haven’t heard of Dottore...”

“Dottore. Dottore bad?”

“Very!” 

“You scared Dottore?”

“Yes.”

“Razor protect you from Dottore. Join lupical.”

“Lu...” you echoed, “Are you Razor?”

“Razor is me.”

You looked at the mysterious boy and considered your options; either be found by the fatui and forced to face your brother or... follow the boy who saved your life without knowing you.

“Okay, fine.” You sighed, “I’ll come with you.”

He nodded, “Follow.”

You walked in silence and you noticed kindness in his subtle actions. He would hold branches above your head until you were safely past them or pointed out puddles so you wouldn’t step in them.

Finally, you arrived at an opening. Wolves stalked the exterior, looked at Razor and you, and continued their business.

“Ra... Razor?” You whispered, gripping onto his arm and stepping behind him. “Why did you take me to wolves?”

“Lupical. Family.”

“These are your family?” 

“Yes.”

“Okay.” You nodded, drew out your words as you started to regret your decision to trust him. “Wolf... family. Alrighty. Annnd... I’m here now. This is what I’m doing with my life.”

“Lupical protect Razor. Razor protect Lupical. Razor trust you. You smell nice.”

“I’ve been on the run for multiple weeks. There’s no way I smell nice.”

Razor scrunched his eyebrows as he searched for the right word, “You smell... kind. Razor trust you.” He turned to you and tried to manage a smile though it looked more like a ferocious snarl, “You trust Razor?”

And maybe you were just tired but for some reason, you did. 

It didn’t take long for you to merge with the rest of the wolf pack, though you couldn’t understand their words you learned their body language. 

The pups would run over to you and wouldn’t leave you alone until you pet them behind the ears. You would pick grass and would weave it into a shoddy crown, and each time you gave it to Razor he’d wear it the rest of the day. 

Happy. You were happy. 

Hunting, flower picking, star gazing. It was simple, but it was the best life you could’ve asked for. A life outside of political intrigue, violence, anger, and human test subjects.

A life where you could smile. A life where your shoulders relaxed. A life where you were trusted and you could trust.

Lupical. Family. You would give anything to keep these peaceful days ongoing. 

But, as with every spot of happiness you found, it needed to be crushed. 

Crushed by your older brother and the troops he controlled as he tracked down your location. As he demanded they wait until nightfall to grab you by your arm and drag you back into his clutches.

“Scream and they die.” He had said with a smile. You knew better than to doubt him. 

“Can I...” you tried to blink the tears out of your eyes, “Can I give them a final goodbye gift?”

Dottore rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively. You picked grass, quickly weaved it into a shotty flower crown, and lied it on Razor's chest. And just like that, you were gone.

You were halfway to Liyue by the time Razor realized that you were missing. He gripped the flower crown as if his life depended on it, and tried his best to stay calm. To breathe.

His Lupical were quicker to pick up on your disappearance, they whined and hounded him until he finally picked up on it. 

What was he going to do? You trusted him and you’re gone. Razor hadn’t felt this awful since part of his Lupical died in front of him. He didn’t spend much time grieving, however, he dropped right onto your scent.

You walked next to your brother, your eyes locked onto the ground, you were surrounded by trees and there was a cliff behind you. 

“Why, (Y/N), you gave us quite a scare!” He chuckled after hours of pure silence, “3 months and no message. I almost began to think the worst.”

“I bet you wished for it.” You grumbled under your breath.

“What?” He looked at you, “How could you say that? I love you.”

“You never loved me.” You snapped, your fingernails digging into your palms, “You used me. You only want me back so I can’t tell everybody the awful things you do. Dead or alive, it doesn’t matter to you. I’m just here for your appearances.”

“I wanted you back because you’re my fami-”

“Don’t you dare say we’re family. They were my family. They loved me.”

“The-the wolves?” He laughed, “Don’t be absurd! Wolves can’t love you.”

“And why not?” You finally made eye contact with him, “They surely love me more than you.”

He looked at you with a slightly agape mouth, “Surely you hear how ridiculous you sound. You... you need some food. When's the last time you had a whole meal? Is that it? Are you starving? Are you sleep-deprived? What’s making you act like this?”

“I finally found someone who truly cares about me, and you take me away from them! You never want me to be happy. I hate you.” You took a deep breath, “No... hate isn’t strong enough. I despise you.” 

Dottore looked at you with almost seemed like genuine pain. But you knew better. This was the man who’d set scientists to dissect your body if he got bored. This was the man who turned countless children into experiments. 

You hated him. You hated the way he made you doubt yourself. You hated his confident smirk. 

He sighed heavily, “They always did say these teen years were hard... (Y/N), I don’t understand why you’re angry.”

“And that’s the issue! You never understand me. You don’t even try to.”

“Can’t you just listen to me?”

“I have! I’ve listened for years and nothing's ever changed! You take me away from where I’m happy and try to convince me I’m in the wrong for getting upset. You are a terrible brother and even worse person.”

“Ter... oh. Oh, (Y/N), I tried to be reasonable with you.” He shook his head dismissively, “It really is your fault. You forced my hand. You’re going back to Snezhnaya and you’re staying there until you learn your lesson.”

“No, I’m not.” You took a step away from him. “I’ll run. I’ll run each time and I’ll tell everybody what you do.”

He stepped towards you and grabbed your wrist, “If you disappear again, I’ll just be forced to kill all of your... ahem... friends.” 

You bit your lip and tried to keep the tears pooling in your eyes to spill over, “Fine.” You pulled out of his grasp. 

“Are you finally going to listen to me?”

You turned around and looked over the edge of the cliff. A flash of white caught your attention. You smiled to yourself, turned around, and let the tears fall. 

With outstretched arms, a huge smile, and a torrent of tears, you spoke, “I’ll always run from you.” You stood on the edge and let your body fall.

Dottore ran to the edge and grabbed at your clothes, missing by mere inches. He looked over the cliff in fear as he watched you fall through the branches of trees. 

He sighed to himself and tried to contain his frustration. “Damn brat.” He turned to his troops who took the time of your argument to rest, “We continue on. (Y/N) is dead.”

In the tree, Razor looked at you in relief as you sat in his arms. “Safe?”

“Safe.” You replied with a laugh as you hugged him as best as you could considering he was holding you. “He won’t... he won’t bother us anymore.”

“Dottore? Dottore hurt you? Razor not protect.”

You pulled back from the hug, “You saved me.”

He blinked, “Razor... save? You are safe... Razor save...”

You pulled him down by his collar and kissed his cheek, “I love you.”

His cheeks turned bright red. “Love... Razor love... Razor love you.”

You giggled as you pulled him into another kiss, happy to be free from your brother and in Razor's arms. 

“I love you,” you whispered again, “I love you so much.”

[kasey-writes-stuff]

Car rides with punzo

You,Punz,Dream,Sapnap,Karl,Alex and your friend em had all been hanging out in real life most of you had already hung out in real life at least a time or two before. You and punz however had never hung out in real life and with your friends all knowing the feelings you held for each other, but the two of you being blind they sent you two alone to go get stocked up on snacks and drinks and other various things...

You and Punz got in the car opting to take his car... which you guessed it was stick shift! As if you needed anymore reason to fall for him, you internally sighed to yourself. Punz couldn’t help but glance to you as he started the car, admiring your beauty as you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear... He snapped himself out of it just in time as you turned to admire him... you admired him for a few short moments before fiddling with your phone..

“You can play your playlist if you want to” He says as you begin the drive to the store, you smile softly and respond “Okay thanks” You don’t want to spend too long picking a song but you also don’t wanna pick something you’re afraid he might not like... Suddenly an idea hits you and you smile to yourself as you watch and wait for Punz’s reaction... he’s confused for a spilt second but then he realizes what it is and begins to laugh

“Really this is what you choose?” You laugh a bit as well “What do you not like this song anymore” You pause the song and he glances at you smiling “No, no it’s not that I just didn’t expect it” You scoff light heartedly “Oh really what did you expect then?” He shrugged nonchalantly “I don’t know I just assumed you’d turn on some boy band like one direction or something” You roll your eyes light heartedly “Well I mean I could’ve but I didn’t know if you would like it or not so...” He glances at you his eyes soft as ever “I will listen to literally anything you want to” you smile softly feeling yourself blush, a few moments pass and you press play again

Punz begins singing the lyrics and his eyes widen as he hears you singing not expecting you to actually know the words and figuring you only turned this on for a joke, he looks at you with the biggest smile on his face as he continues singing...

“It started out on a Wednesday and I couldn’t figure out why you would be mad at me oh woah.. you say it’s nothing but it never ever changes just like that... it’s always whatever anyways every time we try and talk I’m out of here any day.. its always something no, it never ever changes just like that...”

The drop hits and you both begin screaming the lyrics! “I GET THE SHIVERS! WHENEVER I’M THINKING ABOUT YOU! JUST WANNA LEAVE AND LIVE WITHOUT YOU! BE ON MY OWN AGAIN! I GET THE SHIVERS! WHENEVER YOU GO OUT OF LINE YEA! I FEEL IT CREEPING DOWN MY SPINE YEA! WANNA BE LONE AGAIN! WAITING FOR THE” You head banging along as punz tapping his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat... “It’s almost night time waiting for the right time gotta get this right I’m scared to death scared of your eyes looking into my eyes scared that I’ll back out and hold my breathe... wake up one morning and see your face I can feel it coming back these shivers are everyday.. I say it’s over I get out of bed to leave.. yea just like that!” Ironically you guys make eye contact for a moment before quickly breaking it and once more screaming the lyrics “ I GOT THE SHIVERS! WHENEVER I WOULD THINK ABOUT YOU! NOW THAT I LEFT I LIVE WITHOUT YOU! I’M ON MY OWN AGAIN! I GOT THE SHIVERS YOU AINT OUTTA LINE YEA! NOW ITS LIKE EVERYTHING IS FINE YEA! CAUSE NOW I’M LONE AGAIN!” You both jam along to the rest of the song and after that you play some 5SOS and TØP to keep up with the hype energy that had been created..

in no time you made it to the store, you were about to open your door when punz said “No” you looked at him oddly but then smiled softly as he opened your door for you and gestured outwards “m’lady” you rolled your eyes as you lightly shoved his chest while getting out of the car “You’re such a nerd” He scoffed as he shut the car door “Excuse me I am not a nerd I was being a gentleman” He lightly poked your side in retaliation, causing for you to squeak and cover it “Come on gentleman nerd let’s go get snacks” He smirked slightly at your reaction but if you were to look into his eyes you would see nothing but pure softness...

you both made it inside and quickly found the chip and cookie aisle piling the cart full of plenty of different options and even multiples of some knowing how much some of the others could eat... It was so hard to not hold his hand as he pushed the cart... after that you went to the drinks getting plenty of sodas and energy drinks but you also were at least semi responsible and got a case of water... Suddenly as you had just finished getting the soda and he was about to ask if there was anything else you wanted to get he noticed you staring at his hand and began blushing... he softly held his hand out and you glanced at him as he smiled lightly... you carefully took his hand interlocking your fingers

“We should get some nerf guns!” You look at him excitedly and he nods smiling at your excitement, his smile morphing into a slight smirk“We really should so I can kick your butt and show you who the supreme nerfer is” You scoff and use your other hand to lightly poke his side as he did to you earlier, he jumps a wobbly smile appearing on his face as he quickly holds his hand up in defense, you giggle and say “Yea we’ll see about that” And so you fit as many nerf guns and bullets into the cart as possible quickly heading back to the house...

On the ride back you let punz pick the music and on instinct you can’t help but wanna hold your hand over his as he drives... what can you say your main love language is touch alright... you cautiously lay your hand on top of his, he smiles lightly and nods signaling that it’s okay, so you make it back to the house the two of you arms filled to the brim with items as you wish to try and make as few trips as possible...

“You know help would be nice” you light heartedly joke and the guys an Em laugh rolling their eyes before helping you both finish carrying things in, soon you finish and finally get to rest.. promptly dropping yourself onto Dream, Punz and Karl.. your head on Karl’s lap, torso on dreams, and legs on Punz’s, Dream being Dream had to be dramatic and complain

“Sheesh do you have to flop so hard I am a living human you know?!” You laugh and say “Really are you?” You poke his face and he rolls his eyes you giggle a bit and then sigh contently as Karl begins absentmindedly running his fingers through your hair, Dream gently scratches your stomach causing for you to giggle and squirm slightly

Punz smiles at you in a daze just in complete awe at your cuteness, Alex notices and laughs “Hey punz you should take a video it’ll last longer you know that right?” He shakes his head blushing lightly “w-what take a video of what” George rolls his eyes “you know what” Dream smirked “videos do last a lot longer but I mean this also happens pretty often so there’s a pretty big guarantee you’ll see this again” punz smiled softly as he awed “Well that’s good to know at least” You shook your head a bit as you sat up “Shut up and let’s go get this nerf war started!” You ran grabbing as many bullets as possible along with the gun you thought you’d best be able to use, all the others quickly following along and grabbing their own guns and bullets and so with that the war began! No real rules set no true end game it was just all utter chaos but so much fun... after a few minutes you guys take a break and then decide to separate into teams you,Dream,em and George on one team, Karl,Punz, and Alex on the other.. if you got shot in the head you were out... things were intense it was down to you and punz... you ran down the hallway and into a bedroom.. you quickly realized that was not the best plan, Punz came running in after you but before he could shoot you yelled

“WAIT DON’T SHOOT!” He raised his eyebrow cautiously lowering his gun.. “why not” You smirked “So I can shoot you instead” you quickly aimed for his head luckily not missing, you giggled dropping the gun, suddenly punz said “You shouldn’t have done that” you looked up and tried to run past him out the door but to no avail as he caught you pinning you to the floor... suddenly he realized your position as did you, you both blushed purfusly.... you slowly looked up to him locking eyes, and before you knew it you closed the distance and your lips met... after a few moments you broke apart, Punz slowly climbing off you gently rubbing his neck embarrassingly, you did the same and you both began to speak

“So-“ you both giggled “you first” “no you first” you groaned giggling “okay okay I’ll go first... I so I... I really like you” punz sighed in relief “Oh thank god because I really like you too..” you smiled softly “Really?” He smiled softly “Yes really you idiot I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it” you scooted over sitting in his lap

He gently scooped you into his arms gently leaving a kiss on your cheek as he swiftly picked you up, suddenly you both heard loud thuds and looked at each other... as punz walked out carrying you, you couldn’t help but giggle and shake your heads at the site before you, the guys and Em all piled on top of each other obviously their covert attempt to try and spy on you guys failed

“Hello boys, hello em” they all waved and said a chorus of hi’s, soon after you all dig into the snacks and settled down to watching some movies

[rodeoxqueen]

AWAS

CHAPTER ONE: BE NOT AFRAID 

“Dante and Vergil return from Hell to tie up loose ends from their year-long absence. While they seek a sense of normalcy, the fates send them anything but.”

Contents: Violence, Blood and Gore, Brotherly Banter, Explicit Language, Slight Angst 

Rodeo’s Two Pieces: 

I'm very excited to show y'all what I have been working on since hell, November of 2020. Thank you kindly for sticking around.

Back to the present, where the world turned on its axis for months without the weight of the blood of Sparda upon itself, the tides had changed.

In the midnight, had the stars laid witness to the damn near impossible. A portal had opened from the underworld, and two brothers stumbled out. Clutching their swords, Dante and Vergil reunited with the human realm.

How long had it been? Of endless violence and humorous quips thrown at the other, as the years of the gnashing of teeth smoothened the rough patches of their disjointed childhoods?

“We’re back, Verg.” Dante chuckled, arm over his brother’s shoulder.

“We are.” Vergil echoed. The obnoxious weight fell off of him and landed on the ground with a thud.

Dante had got on his knees and kissed the earth that they now stood on.

“Don’t be a fool,” Vergil said, staring at the moon. After years of wanting to become one with Hell, he tilted the false king’s crown to admire the clear sky.

Dante rolled to the ground, sighing in relief.

“We’re back.” He repeated. His brother nudged him with the Yamato.

“Get up. We must find our way back.” Eyes closed and a grin across his face, Dante let the wind pass through his bloodied and matted hair.

“Now we sound like a real team.” Vergil scoffed.

After a few moments, Dante got back up. They had arrived back from Hell to a cliffside overlooking a city that was not Redgrave.

“I assume you have unfinished business in Redgrave.” Dante nodded.

“I sure do.”

The portal became a forgotten relic, the Sparda brothers nowhere to be seen, their demonic presence known to the world.

Dante was known for many things, but mainly for how much of a constant he had remained in everyone’s lives. Never changing, staying the same as he was, an unstoppable force of sarcastic expression.

And also a huge manchild.

Vergil rubbed his temples in frustration.

“Dante. When I referred to unfinished business, I was clearly referring to your shop.”

“Yeah? And I was referring to this.” Dante bit into another slice of pizza, practically moaning.

Vergil sat ramrod straight, sitting awkwardly in a pizzeria. The two were the elephants in the room, both slathered in demonic gore and toting swords. People either gawked or left the establishment.

“You are still an idiot after all this time.”

“Yeah, and I’m also still hungry.”

“Surely your business is more important than this.”

“Meh.”

The blue devil waited for him to finish an hour later, the long-held bill lengthening after months of his absence.

Of course, he had to have indulged a few pieces of his own. It was nothing like the gaminess of demon flesh he had forced himself to sustain upon. It was almost melting in his mouth, unlike the resistance of the shank of a demon. He was never one for vegetables as a child, Dante even more so. Yet the crunch of the toppings was well-received to Vergil, deprived of basic human sustenance for a few odd decades.

However, he found it unthinkable Dante would continue to indulge himself in this for as long as he did.

The door reopened and closed once more to reveal the broad daylight of the streets. Clean, pristine, the sounds of cars and people filled in the crisp air.

Vergil’s boots walked upon a paved road for the first time in ages, man-made and unassuming concrete with stubborn weeds growing from the crevices. No mouth-having crimson blooms that grew to a man’s height. Just simple creatures that fell softly to his weight on their fragile stems.

He had never been here before, where Dante claimed to be his home.

“What’s after this for you, Vergil?” Dante asked his brother, swiping a few demons out of his way.

Vergil, also in his triggered form, huffed a dismissive sigh.

“You know, you should stay with me. Devil May Cry’s always got a spare couch to crash on.”

“Why would I do that?” He slashed a horned devil in two, spewed in putrid green blood. Dante chuckled, knowing there was hesitance in his voice.

“Because I’m offering, big brother. When’s the last time you’ve had a place to call home?”

“I believe you know the answer to that question.” Vergil slid onto his knees under a crouching demon, disemboweling it from top-down. A final gunshot rang his ears, a noise he had to get used to with Dante’s reliance on firearms.

Dull thuds and a flash of red, Dante stood above his brother, offering a now-human hand.

The horde was cleared away like dust on a counter, gone with the wind. Vergil and Dante stood in silence, two children again.

The younger pulled his brother up, insistent stubbornness in his eyes.

“I didn’t hear a no to my offer, Vergil.” Vergil sighed, releasing his hold of his brother’s hand.

“You did not hear a yes either.” Dante chuckled, following his already-leaving brother.

From the past to the present, Vergil’s answer had been neither, never spoken of what he was to do after everything. Yet here he was, now the latter of the two when it came to guidance.

There were many ways the two could have made their entrance to Devil May Cry and have it be a smooth transition back from months of Hell. Dante kicking down the door with a loud “I’m back baby!” was simply not one of them.

Vergil saw that a familiar dark-haired woman was sitting on the desk, absent-mindedly waiting for Trish to return. A girl who once blamed him for her father’s corruption, now a woman with no heed to his presence.

Lady had dropped her nail file, eyes wide at the sight of the two brothers.

“Dante,” Lady whispered as if she was greeting a ghost.

“Yep, it’s me. In the flesh.”

“Dante…”

“Did you miss me? Love what you did to the place.” Dante commented at the cleaned-up shop.

Her face of still confusion warped into anger.

“Dante!”

“Oh boy.”

The next thing he knows, Vergil watches his brother get lectured like a dog. Standing up yet with the attitude of a man in a fetal position, Dante let himself become used to the sound of their tirades once more.

“You had the audacity to give the deed to Morrison. Crazy bitches?! Really!” Dante shrugged.

“I mean if I barked up your tree all day you’d be calling me a-”

“Hey, Lady.” Trish walked into the shop, icily glancing at the two brothers.

“Look at what the hellhound dragged in.” Lady pointed to Dante and Vergil.

“Oh please, I could smell them from a mile away.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, Hell doesn’t have any spas. Shame we couldn’t freshen ourselves up before coming here.” Dante sassed. Trish gave a pointed look.

“As much as it was nice to do some hot girl things, we could put Dumb and Dumber to good work.”

“What are you talking about?”

Lady gave a toothy smile.

“How do you think we got this place managed? Money. Money that you now owe us.”

“Hey! I never said you had to do anything.”

“You’d be real upset if we didn’t do anything either, Dante.”

Finally, after sitting through an eternity of harsh words and steep bills, Dante had more than ever landed himself in shambles. Again. At least he was liberated to take a shower. After Vergil of course.

He was surprised to find that the water was still running, and even more elated that it was hot water. Man, maybe paying the bills was a good thing. It felt like ages of grime and gore had been swept off his skin, his hair finally a familiar stark white. In the steam of the bathroom, he breathed out relief.

When he stepped out, he was surprised to see Vergil laying on his bed completely asleep. Usually uptight and composed, Vergil curled in on himself wearing some of Dante’s clean sweatpants that caught dust from all the months they were gone.

With a smile on his face, Dante chose the couch for once and didn’t complain.

They all deserved rest, Dante taking his nap with a magazine on his face. Future Dante could deal with this.

He never expected there to be any neater ends than the frayed knots he left in his human affairs. Yet, he wasn’t alone this time. Neither of them was.

The next few days, Dante gave his nephew a call. Well, more like Nero called him and Dante finally picked up.

Vergil had gotten up after days of practical unconsciousness, foreign to the comfort of a bed, a place to stay, yet much obliged to remain where he laid.

He came down the stairs, rubbing his eyes still. Dante’s voice was muffled until he was in the same room, Dante speaking through the phone to his son.

“Hey, your old man’s here.” Vergil shook his head, having no interest to answer, yet Dante kept waving the phone in his face.

Taking the phone, Vergil heard his son take a breath.

“Hey, Vergil. Nice to see you back from Hell. Um, can’t imagine that was a fun time.” Nero said, unknowing of how to speak to his stranger of a father.

“Indeed.” Dante face-palmed, sitting with another one of his accursed magazines.

“Yeah, um. I have your book.”

“Hmm.” Nero sighed.

“Do you want it back? I’m coming over soon for business reasons.” A hint of desperation and embarrassment from Nero went over Vergil’s bedhead.

“That would suffice…”

“Alright-”

“Thank you, Nero.” Vergil blurted, seeing Dante mouth the words “say thank you.”

Nero stopped for a minute, a few moments of silence on Vergil’s side.

“No problem...Vergil. I got to go. Take care, alright?” Vergil hmmed as a response. The line went dead.

Dante’s grin immensely irritated Vergil, a man who was incapable of second-hand embarrassment.

“Stop that. Wipe that expression off your face. You wanted a conversation with me and Nero, there you have it.”

Dante propped his face up with his hand, a cat that ate the canary.

“Nah.”

Vergil growled in annoyance.

Unfortunately for Dante, and luckily for Vergil, bills had to be paid and jobs to be done. Morrison had arrived a few days later, pleased to see an old friend returned from the underworld. Walking in, he was barely surprised that the shop had returned to a pig-sty appearance.

“Morrison! Nice to see you again.” Dante welcomed, sitting at his desk. Vergil eyed the unfamiliar man, reading through a book.

“Got a new job for you boys. About time you got those girls off your backs about having your little vacation in Hell.” A familiar smell of cigar smoke traced the air, Dante leaning back on his chair, intrigued.

“So Morrison, what nasty demonic critters does this gig entail?” Dante asked, arms crossed.

“There’s a demon runnin’ around towns, causing a lot of trouble.” Morrison placed a photo down, blurred and poorly taken. Although, the grotesque purple skin and rippling eyes on its body didn’t leave much to admire.

“Huh,” Dante mumbled. Vergil examined the picture.

“I’ve never seen a demon like this before. Sure is ugly, though.” Dante noted, pointing at a flat and angular head, pallid yellow eyes that bulge out of its sockets on the sides, and needle-like teeth in multitudes.

“My sources say it’s been going North, the last town they passed was here. Just this morning. It’s making some distance, I’d get to it as soon as you can.” Morrison revealed a map, a red circle around a certain landmark.

“It’s scaring the shit out of people and causing some casualties to be contained.”

“Alright, we’ll take ‘em.” Dante stuck his hand out, expecting cash. Morrison tutted, patting Dante’s shoulder.

“You’ve been spoiled, Dante. Nah, you’re gonna bag this son of a bitch and then we can talk about payment.”

Dante groaned, taking the job. Morrison tipped his hat to Vergil. Vergil glared in return.

“It’s been nice catching up with you boys.” He called out, leaving the shop.

The door thudded as it shut, and the two were alone once more.

“Well, we just got our get-out-of-jail card. Come on, let’s get going.” Dante grunted.

“Must you complain about everything?” Vergil muttered.

Outside, it was late morning with a slight breeze. The familiar sounds of a motorcycle came to Vergil’s attention.

Dante had sat on Cavalier, expecting Vergil to get on.

“Must you rely on that garish thing?”

“It’s too bad you can’t fucking teleport somewhere you’ve never been. Get on the motorcycle.”

Dante patted the seat, Vergil obeying for once.

“Ready for your first job?”

“More than you are.”

They tore through the streets of Redgrave, going north.

The sun rose and started to fall, endless roads leading through towns and cities that paid them only a slight turn of their heads.

The map’s glaring red bullseye had become a dead-end of sorts, the two resorting to walking instead.

Redgrave had always felt muggy with the air of hell creatures around. Here, in this unmarked territory, it had felt clearer. But also more unsettling, the idea of a demon scuttling about more of an awful surprise.

They felt consumed by the empty streets, busted in windows, and vacated shops and residential places in their lonesome wandering.

Something before had wiped this location clean of humans, and now something else was lingering in its place.

“This area has been abandoned.” Vergil walked over giant cracks through the ground, leading to a deserted town.

“Not surprised,” Dante answered, thinking about a certain tree, “good thing we don’t have to deal with any more civilians.”

A buzz in his blood reminded Dante that something was certainly there. The alleys were a perfect spot for creatures to linger, waiting for prey.

As below, so above. A ringing through the air was quickly parried by steel. Dante’s sword stopped a shower of needles from stabbing him, a stray one cutting the side of his cheek. It jolted him as a creature bounded the rooftops of the buildings, a hulking mass of reptilian skin.

Vergil raced after the creature, having blocked all the assailant’s long-distance attacks. Claws dug through the tiles, running on all fours from rooftops to silently treading the paved roads.

It’s clearly after an objective.

Dante chased after the beast from the ground, firing shots at the agile demon. Vergil jumped buildings, gritting his teeth at the demon’s inherent ability to evade and attack back, dodging tail spikes.

The streets all lead to the town center, where a fountain long cleaved in two from giant roots, stood.

Dante and Vergil came across the demon, purple skin stretched over its pointed bones, facing a cloaked individual.

“Hey, pal-” Dante was shushed by Vergil, the two standing a distance away from the hunched-over beast, much taller than either of them when standing on its hind legs.

Neither of them had expected another person in this area, clearly an oddity in the shambles of civilization.

“Famulus. Servant of Raphael.” A rumbling growl echoed in the night in response.

“I’m obliged, filthy halfling.” It hissed, crouched over and leaning to leer to the monotonous voice.

“You will tell me where he is.”

“His brothers may have underestimated you, but my master has known of your presence. Sending his best, I, to exterminate you.”

The person said nothing, as all that was all that needed to be said.

“Looks like we found it’s been searching for,” Dante mentioned, alerting the attention of the formidable monster and unassuming humanoid.

Glazed-over eyes narrowed with bloodlust met the twins as they readied themselves for anything.

“I will bring Raphael the heads of Sparda, once I am done with you.”

The hooded stranger turned their head to the two. With their face void of any expression, the twins had no idea what to think of them.

A pulse went through the air, Dante and Vergil’s skin jolting at a sudden warm wave in the air. Milliseconds after, a rotating ring of golden energy rattled through the stones, passing through the spaces in the pavement that lead to Dante’s boots.

Vergil and Dante were thrown like ragdolls meters away by an unseen force, Dante hitting the ground twice and rolling to a stop as Vergil stuck a landing with the Yamato through the floor.

A golden sphere surrounded the bruise-colored demon and the humanoid, who cocked their head in a disinterested manner, glaring at the taller creature.

Dante touched the wall before them, warm and pulsing with life. Despite the magnitude, he noted how it didn’t seem to hurt him, only pushing back from his own applied pressure.

Vergil paid it no mind, conflict occurring right before their eyes.

Famulus lunged at the smaller person who dodged, hands grappling at a giant maw, throwing its body to the barrier.

Tail spikes unfurled and bristling, Famulus’ hackles rose.

On hind legs, the demon stood well-over the miscreant, who allowed the beast to come to them. No matter how fast Famulus struck, claws phased through the empty air where it expected pliant flesh. Even swipes of its giant tail between quick strikes and heavy blows had been easily dodged.

A rain shower of blade-like projectiles flew at them, their body dropping down to avoid several. Dozens stuck above where their head was, a near fatality.

A needle whistled as it was caught by a calloused hand, palm tightly wrapped around the quill aiming for their chest. Several had torn through their cloak, nearly pinning them to the ground. They let out a startled noise, moving themselves up.

Famulus ran at them, prepared to rip them apart while they were down. Surely a cowardly move than preferred, but a move nonetheless.

They whipped their head around, jaw gritted. The same clutched quill was thrown like a javelin straight into Famulus’ snout.

Pulsating pain and white-hot agony made the beast screech, purple flesh burnt and smoking.

They shook themselves free of any spikes, clad in ancient robes. Nothing a common human would wear now. Even a demon could tell something was off about this one creature in human skin.

This was no common miscreant come to place vengeance upon its master. Raphael had requested Famulus to obliterate this insect as if none of his lord’s underlings could defeat them.

You shall return them to their grave, Famulus. A low gravelly voice rang through the demon’s head, a present message. The snake-like eye in the middle of its forehead rolled back and returned when its master’s command became silent.

“Yes, I shall.”

The foe stiffened as if they had gotten the answer they had been looking for. Famulus knew that. And like the devil it was, it goaded their curiosity.

“You will never make it to my master’s domain. I will gnaw on your bones, putrid being.”

If only if Famulus knew that there was no goading a foe that was already plotting several paces ahead.

Lashing out, a meter-long arrow-like appendage was fired at them once more while the demon began to collect its true power from the air around it.

It missed the mark, sinking into the ground to have the intended target land upon the blunt end, balancing coyly. Several more jabbed at the barrier, sticking into the protective sphere as the cloaked being ducked and turned to avoid scythe-like claws and disemboweling long-distance attacks. Famulus struck a blow that surely meant death, supposedly cornering the prey, until they vanished in thin air. A hazy afterimage materialized and faded away, swiped into nothing.

Immediately, they appeared to the side of the demon, who just began to rear its head to perceive this teleportation.

Legs bent as they were parallel to the ground, they drop-kicked the reptilian brute, scaly skin rippling at the impact.

Famulus’s neck snapped the wrong way, letting out a moist creaking noise as the body stayed stubbornly rooted to the ground. Incapacitated, it could not stop the smaller fighter from leaping onto a begotten tail spike from the ceiling of the barrier, yanking it, and falling back down to its capitulum.

The hooked and jagged arrowhead bit through toughened flesh, securing them to the flat of its head, glowing hand pressing against the middle eye, the key to finding Raphael.

A once distinguished demon, Famulus lashed its head about like a common beast. The joints in its neck realigned, sickening crunches with each segment joined.

Pushing their energy into the convulsing eye, Famulus felt its connection to its lord become not of its own.

Paralyzed from the sensation of a pulling force, tugging away at flesh, and seeping their own life force into it, digging into its mind, Famulus’ muscles twitched and convulsed like an animal to be dissected.

Famulus snarled to itself.

The veins leading to the spike stuck in its head pulsed, conducting electricity straight to the open palm. A strained cry left their mouth as they relented their hold.

The final twist of its head thrashed them off to hit the ground.

Flashing images of a lair, of an iron throne, flashed through its mind.

Famulus had failed to hide his master’s location. And with that, its murderous intent grew.

Despite the finality of its fate, its tail swished with anger and boiling rage to either do the job or keel over in defeat.

The thief got up with little grace again.

Its many eyes had noticed the bloodstains within their cloaked form, old wounds from recent battles. There wasn’t much damage left for them to take.

No one could dodge the Mjölnir.

Dante felt the hairs on his arms stand at full attention. Brows crossed, the older Sparda swiped through bits of his hair that lilted up from their slicked-back position.

“Hey, do you feel that-”

A beam of dark lightning was emitted from Famulus’s tail, striking straight into the opponent’s chest, shards of pure energy slicing through the air with a symphony of cracks rattling the street. Several pebbles flitted off the earth, scorching hot.

The lightning was overpowering, the cries of the stricken muted, body curling to itself with arms stiffening at the chest.

Dante and Vergil both believed defeat was imminent, preparing to have to take out the demon themselves.

When the flashes of demonic power died down, Famulus had witnessed the impossible.

Even with the golden shroud having been faltered, the thunderstruck figure had not been smitten.

Famulus’s needle-tooth grin dropped at the turn of events, rearing back on all fours.

Black lightning danced off their skin, flickering yellow sparks onto the cobblestones.

“No one of that stature could be capable of such an atrocity, and still be human.” Vergil thought to himself.

Famulus was the strongest of the Pessulum litter, demons that nursed from the deadliest of storms to emerge the top of their species. The demon had killed bigger and stronger with less than it had exhibited today.

And now, this runt of a creature had stood against it with no fear, not even close to death? Taking its strongest attack with no problem?

A rush of fear chilled its electrified veins. Stories of the being, whispers amongst Raphael’s underlings, its master’s own grinding teeth at the news of his brothers and their sudden falling, proven true by the might of this mysterious being.

Famulus would live with no merit to his name, scorned by Raphael, seen as less by its inferiors.

“If that does not kill you then I will!” Famulus jumped, claws extended like scythes to slice flesh to ribbons.

Clumsily taking one step forward, tense arms fought back to form one hand pointing to the snout of the devil, the other to the skies.

The thunder was released from its subjugation, deafening annihilation.

A blinding beam of sheer gilden lightning shot right into the demon, many opaque eyes centering at the color of death. Through the other hand, thunderbolts went off like firecrackers into the atmosphere, exploding rapidly and chaotically.

“Holy shit,” Dante exclaimed, sparks dancing off the paved path and flittering in the air.

Vergil ground his heels to the ground, the frontward force of the explosion pushing against him.

The blow sank into purpled flesh, veins and nerves turned from putrid black to nearly white, keeping the demon trapped in the air, still positioned to pounce and disembowel. Famulus didn’t even make any noise, the renowned servant burned alive.

Seethingly hot, with the very air molecules shaking at the display, the twins watched skin and bone become ash and dust. Killed by one’s trump card.

Not even a fallen tail spike was left, the aftershocks settling the twice-over-cremated remains scattering to the wind.

The redirection of the lightning strike had taken a toll on the hooded figure, who straightened up shakily, face revealed for all to see.

A pair of eyes were two suns in the dead of night, a contrast to the light blue ones that perceived them.

Standing alone, centered by destroyed store windows and melted streetlights, they seemed impassive to their might. It was as if they weren’t just blasted with lightning, where their fabric was scorched the only evidence of the offense.

Dante and Vergil didn’t know what to do, not knowing if this person would attack them as well.

They stayed where they were, the moon right above their head, shining around their crown of messy hair.

“Be not afraid.”

Voice hoarse, their mouth moved differently than to the words they just called out.

Before the twins could think of anything to say, the figure beyond them collapsed.

Vergil was silent, still processing all of this. Who was this person? What were they looking for? Who was Raphael?

Dante rushed forward, heavy footsteps raising ashes from their resting place.

Vergil followed, the Yamato ready to be unleashed at any hesitation.

Dante turned them over, noting the strange force surrounding them had remained. As if someone larger was there.

A human face from under the worn, textile cloak greeted them, exhausted and at peace with unconsciousness.

Two lines dripped down their face from their nose. Bleeding crimson, a human above all. In-and-out, slow breaths moved their chest just enough to know they were alive.

“A half-demon?” Vergil questioned himself.

“If they killed the demon, do we have to split the cash with them?” Dante blurted. Vergil raised an eyebrow at the inquiry.

Before he could retort, Dante had lifted them, their stature dwarfed in strong arms.

“Let’s ask them when they wake up.”

“Dante, you are not bringing that thing back.”

“You’re right. I’m not. You are. Open a portal.” He said with a shit-eating grin.

Vergil reluctantly did so, the Yamato ripping open the fabric of space. He would regret this, he was sure of it.

[physicalturian]

[18+] Words of pleasure - Law x F!Reader - Part 6

[No spoilers] [Modern AU - College AU] [She/her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18] Words : 6246 Archive of our own

Warning : Power play / Dom/sub Dynamics / Control / Stranger / Flirting / Fluff / Awkwardness / Mirrors / Anxiety … If you feel like I should add more warnings, send me a dm or and ask

– Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

There was a short silence, I let out a nervous chuckle before going for random sounds leaving my mouth as I tried to pick up my dignity off the floor. When I was about to cover up, Law hummed. “I’d say the neck, but it all depends on the situation…” He looked at me from the corner of his eyes and smirked, “Faces are very expressive and help understand what the person’s thinking about. But, so does the whole body language.” Drumming his fingers over the wheel, he made a pondering face and smirked as he continued.

“But the neck, very sensitive. Very fragile, and yet it has one of the most important roles. Protecting all those nerves, to send the information to the brain- to let one have access to the neck is to let yourself be vulnerable…” I listened to him intently, no knowing if it was hot or slightly threatening but which ever it was, it made me very aware of my neck and I had hard time not moving my hand there.

 Lightening the mood, he chuckled and asked me what mine was. “Oh, hm… I never really gave it a thought…” I lied, of course. I knew very well that the entire human body had so much appeal, but I also knew my preferences. Still, I was not going to answer that quickly to him, I had to make it look like I was giving it a thought. When it seemed appropriate, I answered, “Probably hands. Just like the body language, it says a lot about the person.” And it’s fucking hot. “If the person takes care of them, if they’re more into manual work, if they have bad habits… scars… The tattoos also…” I trailed off, biting the inside of my cheek in apprehension of what he’d say.

 With a scoff, I heard him softly ask. “And do tell me, what do my hands tell you?” I tried to think, but I was simply thinking they were pretty, and he was hot. So, I gave it a deeper thought, then opted for more of a flirty approach. I could fix that weird question, make it worth it, right?

 “I can barely see them from here, I’d have to get a closer look.” While I said it in a flirty manner, I tried to coat it with a bit of humor, just to give myself a chance to escape. Chuckling, he did not answer. Instead, he pulled up in my street before parking and maneuvering now to not do it when leaving. When we stopped moving, I was going to leave quickly to not die of embarrassment from his lack of response but couldn’t with all the food and drinks on my lap. “Are you in a rush?” He asked with a smug smile as he took his things from lap after unbuckling his seat belt.

 Giving him a side glance, I realized how close his face was from mine and couldn’t help but glance at his lips before forcing myself to lean back and open the car door. “Well I am hungry-“ I swore under by breath when I felt a pull from the belt when I leaned forward to leave, it was quickly released after I heard the unclasping. Law had done it for me, surprising me at the same time. Almost falling forward, I held onto the car door for a sec before stepping outside.

 I could hear his laugh echo when he left the car, and slammed the door shut, making sure to lock it. “Do you want me to hold your things while you take your keys-“ He stopped mid-sentence when he felt my bag nudge his side, “Take them, they’re in the back pocket. I would have done it myself, but you’ve bought me quite a lot, so it’s on you.” He made a confused sound and asked me if I was sure.

 “Are you scared you’ll find drugs? Or is it maybe pads and tampons that’d be the problem?” He was going to reply, but I continued, “There’s none of that, I think there are biscuits wrappers at best. And my wallet,” I shrugged before trying to nod his way, over my shoulder. “Give me your food, I’ll hold it while you open my bag.”

 “Your hands are full-“ He said, but I interrupted him, “My mouth isn’t, come on give me your stuff.” I closed my mouth for a second, taking in what I had said before feeling my face heat up. I shook my head as I sighed, hoping he’d ignore it, but as he handed me his small bag with probably pastries in it, he spoke. “I was going to say something,” He started, giving me his pack that I held between my teeth. It was almost weightless. “But you’re clearly doing such a good job at embarrassing yourself, I don’t think it’s necessary.”

 With the paper bag still in mouth, I spoke through my teeth, “Fuck you, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

He looked over his shoulder and quirked a brow before replying, “Do I? You’ve been pretty insistent on sharing how hot you think I am, I can almost imagine how bad you want to fuck me.” After unlocking the building, he grabbed the paper bag from my mouth and grinned in a cocky way. It made me want to slap him across the face, but also take him against the wall, maybe the latter more than the other one. But I did none of those and simply huffed.

 “I think you’re the one who’s whipped, you did stalk me through my friends to bring me food.” I said over my shoulder, stopping in front of the elevator and using my elbow to push the button.

The man hummed as if considering what I had said, then gave me a look I couldn’t describe. It seemed intense, but not sultry, maybe even confused, lost. “As I said, I am familiar with studying for a long period of time. It’s a boost, moral support. So, don’t be ungrateful like that, you sound like a brat.” It seemed I had ticked him off by saying that, I could see it by the frown decorating his forehead.

 But that frown was also accompanied but a delicate blush. I did not argue back, instead we stepped inside the elevator silently. Did I keep that silence? No. I could have kept the drowning, deafening silence that surrounded us, but I did not want him to feel uncomfortable. That is the reason I gave myself to talk more.

 “You’re right, thank you for the food and the company. How much do I owe you?”

Looking down at me, his frown dissipated as a small smile drew itself on his lips. “Do you ever accept gifts without questioning?” He scoffed before adding I didn’t owe him anything. I was going to speak up when he did, at the same time and I let him. “I have a better idea; you know what would make my day?” I believe it was rhetorical, but as we left the elevator, I answered jokingly. “Your day has been made since the moment you saw me.”

 He did not lose any time and replied with a smirk, “And yours, since I called you this morning, but who’s keeping track?”

A loud cackle left my mouth, it wasn’t elegant in any way. I had not expected him to be funny like that, though maybe he was just catching me by surprise more than being actually funny. I wasn’t sure yet, but there was this bubbly feeling my guts that assured me he was not a bad guy. “I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t not-enjoyable. But do tell me, what would make your day?” I asked before gesturing for him to open the door, telling him which key it was. I held his paper bag between my teeth once more, as he opened it before he grabbed it from me.

 “If you admitted you want to see me in my hospital coat-“

I cut him off once I had put everything on the dining table, and freed his hands, “At best, a hospital gown to see that ass, but I am never admitting having a ‘doctor kink’, alright?” With everything laid on the table, I turned around to look at him and made a grimace, “Actually I take it back, this is just a nice get together, I swear I don’t want to see your ass that desperately, ok? Take a seat, doc.” I blurted out, realizing what I had said was more something I’d say jokingly. But I meant some of it, I did want to see him in his full glory.

 This time, he did not make any witty comeback. Instead, he took a good look at me a moment, then grabbed my chin and turned it a bit before sliding his finger right under my jaw. He was checking my pulse, then said, “How about you take a deep breath and relax? You said it yourself, it’s just a nice get together, I’ll even sit at the opposite of you if I make you that nervous.” He suggested as he let go of me and pulled up a chair to sit on.

 “No, no, don’t-“ I pulled up the one right next to him, maybe even scooting it a bit closer to him, our knees touching. My face was warming up slowly, remembering the interaction that happened seconds ago. “I’ll be honest, and you guessed it, I’m slightly nervous but maybe it’s because I’m into you. Not desperate, but you’re clearly a sight for sore eyes and you’re funny. You keep me on my toes, it’s fun.”

 I did not expect him to react like that, but the man in front of me seemed to have been flustered for a moment. He tried to hide it by focusing his gaze on the paper bag in front of him as he opened it to grab its content. “You make it so easy for me to make innuendos, but I’ll let you have your wholesome moment.”

 Nudging his knee with mine, I huffed and started checking all the food he had bought. While doing so, he continued talking, getting my attention by bumping his foot against mine. “I think there’s still something you need to tell me,” He started, earning a panicked look from me while I slowly put the food down, gulping. “Do I? I mean, fire way,”

 Delicately, he leaned on his hand, resting his elbow on the table, and grinned. “What do my hands tell you about me?” I never sighed so loudly, hoping he had dropped the topic. But he seemed keen on knowing that, or maybe simply tease me for saying I preferred hands. “First things first, you gotta stop teasing me about the hands- You said neck! And maybe it was a bit hot, but also threatening, you gave it a thought and a deep one at that.” When I was done, I placed my hand, palm up, on the table and made a grabbing motion. “Come on, give me your hand, let me take a look.”

 When he did, I realized how big his hands were but also how slender his fingers were. I could see it without needing them so close, but now that I took a good look… The thought of wearing it as a necklace crossed my mind, I ignored it. I then started observing his hand, turning it delicately in mine, brushing my thumb over some spots. “You have a little bump on your ring finger, so you either write a lot or draw,” I hummed a moment, “Your nails are probably cut so short for practicality, since you probably have to wear gloves and stuff…”

 “The tattoos, they confuse me. Maybe you were a bit of a rebel when you were younger, because clearly they’re not professional-“ I looked up at him with an apologetic look, hoping I hadn’t offended him, “But it’s pretty! I’m not judging, just-“ He huffed a laugh and tried to grab my hand gently, only for me to keep holding it as if it was the most precious thing I had seen. “I was indeed very shitty when I was younger.”

 Grinning mischievously, I jabbed, “Because that has changed? You still seem like a little shit to me,” Then I breathed out with a smile, “I’m not done though, your hands are slightly calloused but not a lot, so maybe you go to the gym or one of your hobby is more manual?” It was a rhetorical question, but he hummed to tell me to continue. I ate a bit and continued, “Also they are some very faint tan lines on your fingers…” Seemingly amazed, a smile drew itself on the corner of my mouth, “Do you wear rings? I mean, it’s faint, I can barely see it so maybe I’m wrong-“

 “I can’t really wear them when I work, but yes. Sometimes I do wear them, I believe you also noticed I wore earrings. Couldn’t get your eyes off those last night, could you?” It was my cue to let go of his hand and fully face the food in front of me instead of the beautiful, arrogant, man next to me. It made him laugh when I groaned and told him to eat in peace. Showing me his empty paper bag, he said, “I’m done, you’re the one who’s been distracted, dear.”

 “Right, then if you’re done, let me eat.” Glancing his way, he was staring right back at me with a smug smile, I made it my sole goal to avoid his gaze but after a moment he spoke up, “If you’re into me, you’ll have to look at me more than that, you know.” I almost choked on my food as I turned my head slowly towards him, “If you’re going to use everything I say, against me…” I trailed off and smirked, but rapidly discontinued my idea, “I was going to flirt back and say your name, you know… because you’ll use it against me and- but! I’m genuinely too tired for that- You know you’re exhausting?”

 He threw his head back and let out the prettiest laugh I’ve ever heard, while running his hands through his hair. “You really do say whatever crosses your mind, it’s endearing.” He grinned and crossed his arms over the table leaning forward, this time. It was like he was emphasizing that he was listening intently. “I’ll stop flirting for today if you’d like, do tell me more about yourself,” he then said my name in a low tone.

 “You start, I’m still eating Law- I thought you cared about my health and here you are, distracting me.” My tone was falsely dramatic, yet Law seemed taken aback, if not embarrassed, for a second. His gaze fleeting to the side before he leaned back on his chair and crossed his legs. “What would you like to know?” He grumbled, a hand moving to fidget with his earring, but since he wasn’t wearing any, he moved it back to his chest.

 “Well… you said you were a little shit when you were younger so… How does one go from troublemaker to doctor?” I resumed eating after asking him, there was a clear change in his attitude. His relaxed demeanor seemed to have suddenly tensed, but he hid it and huffed a laugh. “I studied. You know it does require a lot of years to become a doctor-“ he stopped mid-way through his sentence when he saw the look I was giving him. A deadpanned look, to tell him to not fuck around, I knew full well the number of years it took, and that was not my question.

 Sucking his teeth in, he sighed. “It’s not a fun story, but I’ll tell you about it one day,“ Interrupting him, I apologized, “Sorry, then how about I go entirely off topic? Here,” Pushing the paper bags away from me, I smiled at him kindly, “What’s your favourite book genre? If you read any, that is,” An almost-shy laugh escaped his lips and just like that he started talking about a certain comic series he was fan of. I listened intently as he passionately talked about, I would sometimes interrupt him to ask a few questions when I’d get confused and he’d clear things up.

 He had the most adorable look on his face the more he talked about it, almost like it was the first time someone let him rant about it. After a moment, we started talking about other things we each liked when we were younger. I learnt that he wanted to become a doctor since he was very young. He did not elaborate on the topic much, except that he would always try to sneak inside his parents’ consultation room to see what was going on.

 It’s only after a few attempts that his dad chose to give him books to read and focus on, instead of putting all his energy into trying to break inside the consultation room. That’s when little Law found his interest in medicine, at least part of it. There was an untold reason he had yet to share, but I was not going to prod. “You were pretty determined; I’d even say you were cute, but you were probably a demon.” Was what I said to him when he mentioned that short story.

 As if on cue, he smirked and started, “I am still pretty determined, I always get what I want,“ I completely ignored is start at a flirtatious exchange and said, “Good, then work for it, I think we were having  a very nice conversation here, my turn to talk about my past ok?” Then I resumed after he said to go on, and that he was very intrigued on what kind of kid I was.

 I told him the reason why I chose the studies I did, even mentioned my family, how I was raised and what I wanted to become when I was a child. Since it was only the first ‘date’ I had with the man, and maybe I was getting ahead of myself, I tried to keep off the more serious topics: the ones that needed more trust before being shared. The conversation still went on smoothly.

 I always liked listening to people’s story, so it felt weird when this time someone was listening to mine with as much interest as I did. When he kept asking questions, not nosy ones, or giving short but nice comments, I’d stutter. I’d feel my pulse quicken every time but ignored it. After all, he wasn’t going anything special, he was simply… invested.

 “Oh, I forgot the most important question, pardner. Are you ready?” He nodded, smiling behind the hand on which he was resting his chin. “It’ll say a lot about who you are, don’t know if you’re ready to bare yourself like that yet-“ “Just ask the question, I won’t answer if I don’t want to.”

 Placing my hands in front of me in a faux-defensive manner, perhaps even in a calming manner, I whispered “Easy there, cowboy” to which, Law rolled his eyes, asking me wordlessly to go on.

 “Right, do you have any pets?”

 There was a silence. He moved his hands from his lips to his cheeks, his eyes riveted on mine, not looking away. “That’s your one-million-dollar question?” He breathed out, his smile betraying his annoyance that was but an act. I started arguing on how having pets, or not, depending on the situation could say a lot about the person. “We usually have a cat here, but she’s always away. Or in Robin’s room, we called her Vagabonde.”

 Straightening himself on the chair, he pulled out his phone, careful not to show me his screen and started scrolling on it, while talking. “I do have a dog, his name is Bepo. And before you ask, I know I don’t have that much free time, so I let him stay with my neighbor who’s basically in love with him.” When he found the picture he wanted, he showed it to me, and there it was on the screen, a big white fluffy Samoyed. I couldn’t help but notice the most adorable smile on his face before he turned the screen around, he stared at the screen a bit longer before locking his phone. The man was clearly in love with his dog, and it was the cutest thing I’d ever seen.

 “He’s very energetic, and he sleeps with me. Since my neighbor has trouble sleeping, she does not mind when I come get him late. I pay her for it, even though she says she’d do it for free. What does it say about me?” Right when I was about to reply, the alarm on his phone went off, it was time for him to go. He helped me clean everything up in a hurry, then we made our way to the door.

 We both stopped at the entrance, perhaps wanting to say something more but not knowing what. I took the leap, and poked his arm, “I think it says that you’re a lot less intimidating, you like cute things, and I can’t wait for Thursday. I would also love to meet Bepo, maybe take a nap with him-“ I grinned widely when he frowned, laughing at his almost offended reaction, and continued, “and you, since clearly I won’t be able to separate the both of you.”

 He did not reply for a few second, then he smiled. “You’re right, I do love cute things. I can’t help but try to get them for myself,” The tension that had disappeared while talking about our lives, had suddenly return, I could hear my blood pumping in my ears. Law raised his hand to rest it on my jaw as he gazed down at me with the faintest smile, I did not know what to do. This was supposed to be a quick fuck with a pretty boy, but he clearly had charms and I couldn’t untangle myself from the effects he had on me.

 It’s when his nose brushed against mine that I realized how close he was, and where this was going. Our lips where ghosting over one another, I could almost feel his hair, brushing against my chin. I wanted to pull him close and finally break the tension that had installed between us. But when I was about to kiss him, he pulled back just enough so that our lips couldn’t meet and breathed, “See you on Thursday then.” Then he pressed a light kiss on my cheek before turning around and waving at me.

 I stood there, stunned. This asshole knew what he was doing, and he was having too much fun with it. But that moment made it clear I was not the only one interested, and it was like a win for me. At least I knew he’d keep is promises of a good fuck on Thursday, seeing how much he was into me.

 Shaking the daydreaming away, I got back inside and waited until he was downstairs to unlock the door with the intercom. When I saw his car drive away on the small screen, I let out a sigh of relief and moved back to my room where I slumped on my bed, exhausted. “Thursday can’t come any faster.” Rolling on my back, I grabbed my phone and considered sending a text to Law. But would I even say? ‘Nice kiss attempt, left me wanting more’? ‘Damn, you got me horny with just that, can’t wait to see what them hands do, cowboy’?

 Cringing, I opted not to text him. The man was probably busy, I hardly think doctors only fill in paperwork every day. Running my hands over my face, I groaned into my palms before sitting back up. “Sure, he’s hot, but maybe he’s not a good fuck.” I hummed in agreement with myself, “I did not have any feedback about his feats, maybe he’s single because he sucks.” I nodded to myself again, before remembering he told me he did fuck. A lot. I let myself fall back on the bed, closing my eyes as I pondered longer.

 I did not know where the date would take place, but as I gave it a deeper thought, I also started thinking more and more of what we’d do once we’d get to his place. I remembered he said we’d have to make a detour by his place anyway because he’d have to get changed… But he seemed like he had plans for us. Or maybe we’d just…

 Arrive at his place, it’d look minimalistic, he clearly was not one for sentimental stuff. He’d tell me to wait as he’d get changed in his room, leaving it ajar so that I could catch a glimpse of his body. He wouldn’t be in scrubs; those were taken way before leaving the hospital but… I like the idea of him wearing one anyway, it reminded me of HandSurgeon and for some reason it got me going.

 As he’d take off his shirt, he’d look over his shoulder and smile smugly at me, before asking if I was enjoying the show. If I were bold enough, I’d tell him I’d rather join the show to which he’d grin and tell me to join him. A heated make out session would ensue, then I’d push him to the bed, straddle his lap and unbuckle his belt.

 “I think we should keep it close by, for later use,” He said, mentioning the belt, before gripping me tightly under the thighs and flipping me around so that he was on top. Once there, he slid his hands from my side to my arms, that he lifted over my head before leaning over, a toothy grin on his lips. “You’re not even fighting it, so obedient.” His lithe fingers wrapped themselves around my wrists caressing them gently, then he reached behind me towards the bed headboard, and I heard a metallic sound. Suddenly, I was restrained. Around my wrists, comfortable, leather handcuffs, tied to the bed headboard by lengthy chains.

 “Belts aren’t the best restraints, but I am prepared…” He gripped his belt tightly, twisting it in his hands. “It’s however a great whip,” I was startled when the leather touched my stomach, my shirt had been removed, somehow, at some point. Law was now wearing black latex gloves, his sleeves rolled up while he was still fully dressed. I thought he had taken his shirt off earlier but… “Don’t start thinking, enjoy it. That’s what you want, right? To give up control, let yourself get loose,” I think I nodded.

 He let the belt travel all over my body, I was only in my undergarments. And he was taking his time to make sure to touch each and every inch of my body. Like a predator observing its pray, he was walking around the bed at a slow pace, the leather belt grazing my skin ever so lightly. But it was enough to make me want more, it was enough to make me contract my muscles in apprehension when he’d raised the belt. I did not know if he was going to strike, I don’t know what mood he was in, but I liked the thrill. “Look at you, all spread up and ready, quiet…”

 His gloved hand was now gripping my chin tightly, forcing me look up at him. “You’ve been tamed so well, you’re not talking until told to.” He breathed against my lips. I felt one of his hand traveled from my chest to between my legs, under my underwear and slowly, he pressed a finger against my clit. Then between my lower lips, only teasing my hole. Over and over again. Surprised, I only gasped and tried to look at him, but he moved to murmur right next to my ear, “But I think I want to hear you, loud and clear. Why don’t you be a good girl, and stop holding back, mmm?” I let out a breath I did not know I was holding and started panting.

 The nerves, the anticipation, the excitement, all of it was let out through shaky breathing as he’d touch me then-

 Startling awake, I heard my phone ring and scrambled to my senses, trying to find it. I heard a thud at my feet and bent over to look what it was, only to realize it was my phone. Quickly grabbing it, I picked it up and put it to my ear. “Yep?”

“So, how was your date with Law?” I heard Robin ask, I could also hear the grin on her face.

 “I don’t know if I should thank you or curse you, Rob. But for now… it was nice, I liked it… Although it was odd to see him on my campus at first, still is a bit weird when I think about it but, you know, it’s the thought that matters, right?”

Giggling, the black-haired woman on the other end of the line could be heard shooing someone away before answering, “Well, he did have to fight Nami. She was very much against the idea, but he said he wanted to make you feel comfortable for Thursday. So that it’s not a stressful first date, you know?”

 So, he did give it a thought, the fact that I was studying only gave him the opportunity to come by. I wonder what his excuse would have been if I hadn’t been studying the entire day. Focusing back on the conversation, I gave Robin more details of what happened. I considered not telling her about the almost kiss, but she was clearly in for the gossip. So, I told her, except I didn’t tell her I wish more would have happened. How I still wondered what his lips would feel like against mine, and how I’m curious of how they’d feel against my skin, barely grazing it, his stubble following each delicate touch. The latter being something I’d hopefully find out on Thursday.

 When everything had been said, and she had told me about her day, we hung up and I was left with the remnant of my hot dream.

 I stared at nothing for a moment, considering my options. I could work on some assignments, I could distract myself, or I could… Open discord and see if HandSurgeon was busy. Not for something too exhausting, no, but for a little bit of fun.

 So, I did.

 Edelweiss: fun game to suggest

Edelweiss: no one around me, but still, you get a picture of me

Edelweiss: you don’t have to send anything… although I wouldn’t mind much

Edelweiss: then, fun times?

Edelweiss: I’m bored and I don’t know… maybe we could do something

 Drumming my fingers on the back of my phone, smacking my lips a few times. I can’t believe I was growing impatient for such thing.

 Minutes passed, I started bouncing my leg with anticipation, forcing myself to not send more messages in case he was busy. I remembered he had said he’d be more busy this week, but I did not know his schedule, maybe he was free now.

 I felt my phone vibrate in my hand and saw a message on discord. I opened the app excitedly,

 HandSurgeon: I have to get going, I’ll be off for a few hours. Then, odds are that I’ll pass out when I get home, I’m sorry dear.

HandSurgeon: But, I am not refusing pictures of my girl. If that’s what you’re suggesting. If you are, I’ll give you a few instructions on how to take them.

Edelweiss: I am suggesting that yes… I have a mirror…

HandSurgeon: You’ve read my mind. On your knees in front of it, naked. One with legs spread, the other not. Don’t be shy and grab your breasts as you do so, feeling yourself as you’re doing a private photoshoot just for me. Your hand traveling down, caressing your stomach to stop just between your legs.

HandSurgeon: Your free hand gripping your beautifully stricken thighs, remembering how much of a disobedient girl you’ve been last night. How much you’ve learnt since, how good you’ll be for me.

HandSurgeon: So good you won’t touch yourself until I’m back and free to take care of you. And if I’m not back before Wednesday… well then, that someone better fuck you better than I can make you feel even though I’m not with you.

HandSurgeon: And if you don’t fuck by then, no touching.

HandSurgeon: Be good for me Edelweiss, see you. Let your creativity run wild.

Edelweiss: Yes sir, see you then.

 Closing the app, I saw my reflection in the, now, locked screen. It’s only then that I realized I was slightly pouting. I made a weird face and quickly got out of bed then took a good look at the long mirror next to my desk. “Well, it shows too much personal shit, I’ll have to move it.” I mumbled before rolling up my sleeves and using my strength the best I could I moving it to the side of my bed. The reflective part was facing my window, so I closed the blinds, and it was neutral enough to not give any information about me.

 “Can’t believe I’m doing this,” I panted, while coming back from the bathroom with a cleaning spray, “If I’m going to send proper nudes, I ain’t sending them with a dirty mirror…” I grumbled, tiring myself already from the wild movements I did to really get the glass clean. The squeaky sound of the towel against the glass was all that I could hear, along by long breathing as I thoroughly scrubbed it.

 Once it was done, and I was settled, naked in front of it, I felt a shiver ran down my spine. Being in this position and being able to see how I look… I felt utterly exposed, which made sense considering I was naked. But the idea that I was doing all of this, just for that stranger, it felt odd. I liked that feeling, but was I allowed to feel that pride, that joy, from making myself pretty for a stranger? Was that objectification? Huffing, I told myself that I didn’t care because I liked feeling god. I did follow his instructions and took the picture how he had asked, but then I took some liberties.

 I found one of my favourite sexy outfit and put it on, making sure it highlighted my assets.

 Giving myself a once over in the lengthy mirror, I made a thinking face. Since Law teased me earlier, I could perhaps tease him back? Show him what he’d get Thursday, what he’d have to wait for. But then again, was I willing to be the first one to send a text after the coffee date? And have that first text to be a daring picture of me?

 Licking my lips, I pondered a bit longer. Then thought I could make it just enough to have him want more. I moved to my desk and leaned against it, my butt resting on it. I then angled the phone to show my face where I gave my best flirtatious smile, the outfit I was wearing showed off my cleavage and my neck, so I made sure he could see the latter clearly, knowing he liked it.

 Taking the picture, I hesitated upon seeing the final result. The boldness I got from sending HandSurgeon naked pictures was starting to fade. I had to act fast if I didn’t want to chicken out, so I sent it to Law quickly, that way I couldn’t go back. It was followed by a message.

 You: Thursday, right? Not that your opinion matters, but how does this outfit sound for that research?

 I made a face at that text. “I wish I could take it back, it’s so bad, god it’s so bad.” I looked away and sighed, then looked back at my phone and sighed louder, and looked away again, “I’ll just leave it at that, I’ll put the phone down and wait for an answer. Yeah, yeah…”

 Having convinced myself to relax, I managed to not touch my phone for the rest of the evening. I did spend that evening working on some stuff, since there was no distraction to steer me away from actually getting shit done and ended up being productive.

 Since both the men I had started talking to recently were busy, and my friends away, I had the most boring night.

 I had forgotten about the text I had sent by submerging myself with work, but when all was done and I was alone in my bed with my thoughts, I remembered and cringed. When I checked if I had any reply, and saw nothing, I felt a knot form itself in my stomach but tried to rationalize. ‘It’s ok, it’s alright, he’s probably still at work, maybe he fell asleep, we’ll see tomorrow’ Was my last thought before falling asleep.

 When I woke up in the morning, the knot only tightened, and I felt more anxious than ever. Once again, I thought maybe I shouldn’t have done that.

[Part 7]

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

selfie | jjk | 2

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Is this a rom-com, slice-of-life drama with unsolicited social commentary about gender stereotypes, idol music, and the meaningless meaning of the word, “adult”? Yes. But also, Jeon Jungkook shouldn’t be in love with his hyung’s little sister and he is. Shit.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mentions of depression, anxiety, loneliness; fluff, but also frustrating because flirt already, sheesh; loons-to-lovers; non-idol!AU - oppa’s bestfriend!Jungkook x SHINee fangirl!reader

happy lunar new year!! year of the ox - jk’s lucky year <3

–

previous episode.

2. in which the two loons getting somewhere, only for more misunderstandings to happen.

Is this too much?

You stared at the picture and the message. Jeon Jungkook once again. Sending a picture of himself at the gym. It was a while since the last one, so his hair was slightly longer now. Was he growing it out? Oh well, none of your business. You sent your usual reply.

?

You sighed and went back to your journal, only to have your phone aggressively sing ‘3 PM’ from the Animal Crossing New Leaf OST. Directly asking for a video call this time. You thinned your mouth into a line and closed your journal, sliding it out of frame before accepting the call.

Jungkook’s big brown eye filled up the screen, directly on the camera.

“Why don’t you respond like a normal person?”

“Why don’t you start conversations off like a normal person?” you shot back, placing a hand on your cheek and leaning against it. There was stationery scattered all around you, but your journal was behind the charging stand.

Jungkook withdrew his eyeball, frowning. You could see his entire face now, his long black hair tied up into a silly sprout on top of his head. He was still wearing the dark gray sweatshirt from the photo, but he seemed to be in his apartment. All you could see was the wall.

“What about the pic though? Is it too much?”

“Too much what?” you responded irritably.

He waved his hand, shaking the phone with his movement. “You know… Too, ‘Hey I work out and am attractive, pay attention to me’ much?”

You raised an eyebrow. “You’re not even looking at the camera. Or wearing a sleeveless shirt.”

He blinked at you. “Should I?”

You rolled your eyes. “No, those are things not to do. Picture is fine,” you added, shifting some pens away so you could rest your head on your forearms.

“Oh.”

He looked uneasy for a second before the camera jostled around as he scurried to a different part of the room. You puffed your cheeks and closed your eyes, not wanting to get motion sick.

“I’ve been playing Persona 5!” Jungkook said cheerfully, making you open your eyes to see him directing the camera at his television where the Persona music was merrily playing. “Just finished Sakura Futaba’s Palace.” He switched the camera back as you smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

“Nice.”

Jungkook seemed to spy your deflated form on your desk.

“What’s wrong?”

You breathed out. “Nothing.”

He frowned. “Doesn’t seem like nothing.”

You shrugged. “Just thinking.” Your eyes flickered to him, smirking a little. “You wouldn’t know about that, I suspect.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes. Other than that, he didn’t react to your remark.

“Thinking about what?” he asked, leaning back into his gray couch. His long hair flared out, sprout blooming against the cushions.

Your eyes shifted to the pens all over your desk. To your tablet, where you had been practicing digital drawing for a little while now. Just little drawings of cute animals, no people yet. To your journal, where you had been writing your diary entry.

“Lonely.”

You said the word without thinking. It was the title of your diary entry. You hadn’t meant to say it, but it was the only thing on your mind right now. Your eyes flickered back to Jungkook, who was watching you carefully. You sighed, feeling the need to explain yourself.

“All my friends are busy with school and their jobs. Oppa is always at work or with his girlfriend. Parents are always working.”

You could feel the distance between you and your high school friends. They were chasing your dreams and you were chasing nothing at all. You weren’t distant from your brother, but you were respectful of how much time he wanted to spend with his girlfriend. She might become his future wife someday, after all. Would you have a future husband one day? You wondered what he would be like.

You shook your head and shrugged. “But I did it to myself by taking a gap year, so it can’t be helped.”

“It’s okay to feel lonely.”

Slowly, your gaze shifted back to Jungkook. He was getting up from the couch, holding the phone up as he walked to what looked like the kitchen.

“I mean, you can’t help what you feel, right?” he said as he set the phone in a cupboard and went to the fridge. “Feeling lonely isn’t some kind of crime, so you don’t need to lock it away or anything.”

Jungkook picked up a take-out container and opened it, stiffing the contents. He seemed to be debating if it was edible or not. How long had that been there? You wanted to ask but then again, you didn’t want to know. Jungkook shrugged and dumped the mysterious contents into a bowl.

“I’ll talk to you whenever you want.”

You scoffed. “Why would you do that?”

Jungkook placed the bowl in the microwave and set the timer. The machine hummed as he turned around.

“To prevent you from feeling lonely.”

A butterfly danced in your chest.

You chuckled. “Why would I want to feel annoyed instead of lonely?”

Jungkook shrugged, taking out some chopsticks. “At least you have someone to be annoyed at instead of being alone?”

Two butterflies danced in your chest.

You huffed and rested your cheek on your forearms.

“Have you been talking to your Confidants?”

“What?”

“In Persona 5.”

“Who?”

You slapped your forehead. “Listen up, you monkey…”

“I’m an ox in the zodiac.”

“I mean your monkey gameplay…”

You began to explain the importance of Confidants in Persona to Jungkook.

-

That’s how you ended up in video calls with Jeon Jungkook several times a week.

He would usually start the call by sending a selfie, to which you would respond with your usual question mark. He was going to university for graphic design and worked at an electronics store part time. You, on the hand, were doing nothing. Well, not nothing, because you were clumsily learning digital art, but unless you were showering, you were always by your phone. Checking idol social media, especially SHINee. Sometimes your brother and his girlfriend asked you to accompany them to dinner, but you always declined, because being the third wheel was weird.

Also, watching your brother in love was weird.

Bleh.

“They always make out in front of me,” you were telling Jungkook as he asked why you weren’t at dinner earlier with your brother and his friends. Your brother had taken his girlfriend, of course. “It’s weird.”

Jungkook winced. “Yeah, I get what you mean. But I was there.”

“So what?”

Jungkook raised his hands. He was in his bed, rolling around in gray sheets. “Maybe you care?”

“I’d like to be spared watching oppa’s PDA, thanks.”

As usual, you were at your desk. This time your tablet was in front of you. You pushed the pen around, indecisively drawing lines and undoing your last action, twisting your mouth to one side, not really looking at Jungkook. He wasn’t doing anything of note, anyway.

“You don’t like PDA?”

You shrugged. “It’s whatever. I don’t really care.”

“What are you drawing?”

“Nothing good,” you sighed, putting down the tablet pen. The little cat character looked back at you, its expression the same bored and dispassionate face you usually had. You hadn’t really decided on a color for it yet. Maybe gray. That’s how you usually felt, anyway. You knew the collar color was going to be aqua though. A nod to your SHINee obsession.

“Show me.”

“No.”

“Come on.”

You looked up to Jungkook’s smile. There was a radiance about it. You felt the two butterflies dancing in your ribcage once again, fluttering, fluttering. His two front teeth where just ever so slightly too large for his mouth. It was endearing, like seeing a bunny. You looked back down at the little cat you created. Maybe you would make a bunny for Jungkook.

Pfft.

Why would you do that?

You laughed, confusing Jungkook as you placed your hand over your mouth, eyes squinting as you chortled to yourself, trying to imagine Jungkook as a silly little bunny. Probably one that worked out too much and drank banana milk every day. Probably loved to take selfies too. A cool bunny who wrote sunglasses sometimes and was probably altruistic and interesting.

Not like you.

Your laughter died down, eyes on the cat. You picked a cat to represent you because it was lazy and didn’t do much. Spent all day sleeping and staring outside, but never actually trying. Curious about things, but never committing.

“What’s so funny?” Jungkook asked, lifting the camera and holding it above him. You saw his long black hair flare out around his head. He was casually handsome, the kind of attractive that didn’t need much to be that way.

That’s weird. Why would you think something like that?

“Your face,” you replied, missing the usual bite you usually had behind your words. “You need a trim.”

He raised his eyebrow, pursing his lips. “You don’t like long hair?”

You pointed at the phone even though he probably couldn’t tell what you were pointing at. “The ends of your hair are splitting. It’s not going to grow well at this rate.”

“Are you a secret barber or something?”

“I’m a human being who cuts her own hair,” you replied impassively, sitting back in your chair.

Jungkook looked surprised. “Really? Since when?”

“Since the last time oppa attempted to cut my hair in high school.” You cringed at the memory.

Jungkook looked apologetic and ready to burst out laughing at the same time. “He tried his best.”

“He did not,” you retorted, remembering the botched bangs and blunt shoulder length cut. It was horrible. You went to the salon afterward and had it trimmed into a short pixie cut, because you would rather be bald than look like an overgrown coconut.

“The pixie cut was cool though.”

“Eh.” You shrugged. “Too hard to cut it by myself. Need some length to hide my mistakes.”

“Your hair always looks nice though. A little messy.”

You touched the top of your head self-consciously. Maybe you should start brushing it before accepting his calls. You didn’t really brush it that often because, well, who was going to see you? You basically only brushed it when you noticed a tangle.

Jungkook was smiling at you. His dark brown eyes seemed sparkly because of the overhead lights in his bedroom. The butterflies in your ribcage circled each other, looping round and round. You made a disgruntled face, reaching up read the current time at the top of your phone.

“Don’t you have class early tomorrow? Go to sleep.”

And then you pressed the end call button.

For some reason, relief and disappointment washed over you. Relief because there was a palpitating anxiousness you felt when you looked too directly into Jungkook’s eyes. Disappointment because maybe you shouldn’t have hung up so abruptly. That was a little rude.

You noticed you had a text. From Jeon Jungkook.

Good night.

-

Jungkook placed his phone beside him after he sent the text. He thought about sending a selfie too, but maybe that was too much. She had just seen him seconds before, anyway.

Why had she hung up like that?

He smiled as he remembered her laugh. He liked her laugh a lot. She hid it behind her hands and her eyes always squinted when she did so, nearly making them disappear. It looked a little bit like a cat when it was purring in satisfaction. Jungkook wondered what made her laugh like that. It must have been a thought, because he could see her face changing as she observed him. When she stopped laughing, her face was different too, becoming introspective.

She looked pretty today too.

Her hair a little messy, combed through with her fingers. That’s how it looked best, he thought. She had a natural prettiness, the kind that needed no help to be that way. Every action she did seemed cute, from the way she held her pen, to the way she twisted her mouth to one side when she was working on something, to the way she touched the top of her head, lips parting in thought.

If she wanted to be a model, she probably could.

At least, Jungkook wanted to take her picture.

He frowned a little. He’d been consistently sending her selfies before calling her and she always responded with a question mark. Maybe she wasn’t used to taking selfies? Or maybe, and what was more likely, she probably didn’t even care about them.

Jungkook exhaled, flopping to his side. Should he give up? But then he remembered her face right before she looked at the time. It was like she was staring at the screen, at his face. And for a split second, he swore he saw her upper lip upturn a bit, shyness in her gaze, a bit of pink flushing her cheeks. Was it just the lightning or something? His mind playing tricks on him?

“Bleh.”

Jungkook made a weird noise and plopped his face into his pillow.

-

Jungkook stopped calling you.

You wondered why. You had been kind of rude to him last time. Maybe he was mad at you? Maybe he wanted an apology? But you weren’t really sure what to apologize for. And it was weird to call without a purpose, right? And besides.

You didn’t really need to apologize to Jeon Jungkook.

He wasn’t even really your friend. He was your older brother’s friend.

You chewed on your lip, staring at the last picture he sent you. He wasn’t your friend. He was… well, what was he trying to do? Why was he talking to you? Maybe he was bored. Maybe he was nosy. You did say you followed his art Instagram, so maybe he was enthralled with the idea of knowing he had a fan or something?

But you weren’t a fan, per se.

Well, a little bit. He was really talented.

But not that much!

Because Jeon Jungkook was kind of annoying. He still hadn’t returned Persona 5 to your brother. Not that your older brother noticed, at all. He never finished Persona 5 and it was mostly your game now, with how many hours you had sunk into it. Jungkook hadn’t even known about Confidants until you told him. Hmph. Didn’t he look up game guides? Well, he should. Confidants were really important to the game. They helped you with useful abilities during boss fights by developing relationships with the other characters.

You stared at the last selfie Jungkook had sent you.

You kind of wished he was looking at the camera.

Maybe you needed a Confidant. You certainly didn’t really know how to develop relationships with anyone, except maybe your older brother. But that was because he was your brother and familial responsibility. Well. Not true. Your brother was really nice to you.

That’s why you folded his underwear for him, even to this day.

Sigh.

Jungkook did like SHINee though.

At least that was one thing in common, right?

-

next episode: 3. in which only a major event can bring these two loons back together – SHINee is back!

--

masterpost

[glitxhwayventeen]

We Might Be Dead By Tomorrow

Minghao: Chapter 1 (Sirens)

Characters: Minghao x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, smut, angst, fluff, potential blood mentions, genocide, runaways, domestic violence, child abuse, blood mentions, death mentions, gang activity mentions, lots of dick jokes, suggestive content, tiny drug mention if you squint, violence. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: I recommend listening to Sirens by Cher Lloyd. It’s a strange choice I know. It doesn’t necessarily go with this chapter. But i think it’s actually a pretty good song, so I used it for a loose inspiration for Minghao’s opening Chapter.

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

Slight 🥀 but mostly ☁️

We Might Be Dead By Tomorrow Master List

Chapter 1: Sirens

These last few days have been some of the best days of Minghao’s life. Not to say he’s had a bad one, he actually considered himself quite fortunate in that aspect compared to his brothers. Most of his pack didn’t even know what Minghao had done before he joined them. They just figured it wasn’t anything good. He had this… bad boy aura about him that they couldn’t quite place. So no one really ever wanted to fuck with him, not that he was complaining. I mean don’t get me wrong, he could do some SERIOUS damage to an opponent, he just didn’t want to have to. He was done with and over all the fighting. He fought his whole life. Now, he was tired. Boy, was he tired. He got so tired sometimes that it felt like his bones were scraping each other and if he didn’t lay down in the middle of whatever he was doing, they’d crack and break apart from his body. He’d never tell his brothers that though, he didn’t like them worrying about him. He wasn’t helpless, he was quite capable of taking care of himself and others. He just never had to because he had the Alphas looking out for the pack all the time. It wasn’t his problem to watch out for anyone and he liked it that way.

That is, until he met you. Before you, he saw the world for all its horrors and terrors. With you around, he saw all its beauty and grace. He never thought that imprinting would be like this. He felt almost high when you were around. No one ever really explained it all in depth to him. He didn’t realize that just someone saying your name would make his heart jump out of his chest. He took one look at you and he realized you were all he cared about. Sure he loved his brothers, but he knew if push came to shove they could protect themselves. Apart of him knew that of course you could too, but for the first time, he actually WANTED to take care of someone.

He always needed to be sure you were okay. He’d ask how you slept, if you ate, how you were feeling, if you were happy. It frazzled his brothers, he’d never done that with them. It was strange seeing such a loving side of him. They knew he loved them because they were his brothers, but they absolutely KNEW he loved you because you were his mate. But seeing him worry himself sick over your well-being was… different to say the least. They were actually pretty sure you had replaced him with an identical looking version of himself when they weren’t looking because, again, he just wasn’t even acting like the Minghao they knew.

You didn’t mind of course. You actually loved that he cared for you so much. You were so tired of having to take care of yourself for all this time. You didn’t think you were very good at it and, quite frankly, it was exhausting. You had been on the run for centuries before you met the pack. It was lonely and if there was anything in this world that you actually hated, it was being all alone. You came from a tribe where the bigger the family, the better. You missed it. So when you realized Minghao had imprinted on you, you couldn’t have been more happy. Because now, not only did you get a mate who loved you more than life itself, but you got his crazy pack brothers too. You figured he loved you anyway, he hadn’t actually said the words to you yet, still, you could just… feel it. You could even feel that his brothers loved you. They reminded you a lot of your original brothers. They were loud and rambunctious, and they’d do anything to protect you because you were their brothers mate. It was perfect.

As you both lay asleep in your now shared bed, you cuddled on top of his toned chest like always, you heard a loud, almost in human, scream from outside. It made you jump almost a foot in the air, and had you falling in the floor. You had let your instincts and guard down quite a bit since you came to live with them a few weeks ago because you felt safe. So the terrible noise from outside scared you a great deal. Minghao was quick to act of course, rushing to scoop you in his arms and quietly rocking you to calm you down.

“Shh. It’s okay baby it’s gone now. Don’t worry. It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He spoke softly as he stroked your hair gently, still rocking you in place.

“I- I know I just wasn’t expecting it. Who the hell screams like that this early in the morning?” You questions, both of you knowing it was more rhetorical than anything.

“More like who screams like that in general.” Minghao said, half joking and half concerned, though he was trying his best to hide it from you.

He had come to realize any sounds out of the ordinary could set you off into a panic attack. He didn’t like seeing you scared, and he didn’t like your heart rate spiking for anyone or anything other than himself.

“I just hope it’s over now-” you start, but just as you were about to finish your sentence, another loud screech forced you to jump from Minghao’s arms and hide under the bed.

He knew he couldn’t help it, it was now part of your instinct to hide in the darkest place possible from danger as you were out alone in the woods for decades and it was the way you kept yourself alive. Still, he couldn’t help the small whine that came from within his chest as he saw you hiding. He hated the fear in your eyes, it made him feel so helpless. He tried to coax you out from under his bed by trying to tell you it was just a passing noise. But, once again, the noise came back. Except this time, you actually managed to hear it without the sleepiness or your mating pull clouding it. Oh no! You quickly go out from under the bed and grabbed onto Minghao.

“Hao, where are the other boys??” You asked quickly, the fear in your eyes seeming to amplify.

“Probably asleep, like we should be so let’s-” he tried, still wanting to attempt to get more hours.

“No Hao! We need to find them. We need to find ALL OF THEM right now!” You all but yell as you quickly grabbed a pair of shorts, slipped them on, and threw open your bedroom door.

“(Y/N)! What the hell?? They’re all sleeping come on let’s go back to bed” Minghao whined, clearly not understanding the gravity of the situation.

You ignored him as you opened the door closest to your bedroom, you were greeted with Chan sitting on the edge of his bed, you could tell he was also woken up by the loud scream. Good, he’s safe. Now the others.

You then opened the door across the hall from your room. In it, you found Seungcheol yawning putting on pants in order to try and investigate the strange noise. You then pushed open Joshua and Jeonghan’s rooms, in them, you found both boys to be just as shocked from your actions as Minghao was. But nevertheless they were safe so you didn’t care how crazy you looked. After them, you dashed to Jun and Soonyoung’s shared room, letting out a quick relieved sigh seeing them both already standing close to their door.

You kept doing this until you had finished your rounds of Jihoon’s, Seokmin’s, Seungkwan’s, Wonwoo’s, and Hansol’s rooms respectively. You were so beyond happy that all the boys were okay that you almost cried real tears, they were already brimming at your waterlines.

“(Y/N), we all heard the noise. But it just sounded like someone yelling. We’re all fine. You worry too much.” Seungcheol assured you, giving you a small pat on the head to show gratitude for your care for them.

“No Seungcheol. You don’t understand. That wasn’t just any random villager screaming. That was something more vile than you could even imagine. And it prays on men, specifically horny-” you stopped yourself mid-sentence. “Wait.” You paused. “WHERE’S MINGYU??” you said, realizing very quickly that one of the wolves you were thinking of while saying your piece was unaccounted for.

You dashed to his room and busted the door open. And sure enough, his big ass form was there laying in bed, sleeping like a baby. Thank God.

“Alright. Somebody’s been hanging around Jun’s paranoid ass too long.” Hansol joked your way, earning a chuckle from a few others as well.

“Hey!” Junhui tried to defend himself.

“No you guys don’t get it. That scream, that was a siren’s victory call. I was legitimately worried for your lives.” You protested, Minghao coming up behind you to wrap his arms around your waist.

“A siren? What’s that?” Chan asked as all the boys looked to you for elaboration.

Boy, you sometimes forgot how young and inexperienced with the supernatural they were. They were far better with people than you were that’s for sure, but when it came down to other magical beings, it was like you were speaking a different language. And you only really ever did that with the foreign wolves as you knew both English and Chinese.

“A siren’s one of the most deadly creatures you can find. They look like regular people, most of the time, they’re absolutely beautiful. That’s what makes them so scary, they look like angels. But they’re pure evil, they lure people to their deaths late at night, mostly men. Mostly horny men. They use them for sex, to procreate. Then they kill them in brutal, horrible ways. Afterwards, they let out that God awful scream. That’s why I got so worried with you guys, I thought that…” you trailed off, shrugging your shoulders slightly.

“That what? One of us got our dick wet and our head chopped off?” Joshua laughed out, clearly amused that you considered them all horny men.

“Well yeah, kind of. You can’t blame me. I know what most of you go to the village for late at night. When I realized what the scream was, I just had to make sure you were right. I didn’t want to wake up the next morning to have to go out and find a fucking body.” You huffed as Minghao gave you a small peck on your shoulder to try and ease your tension.

“Well, thank you for caring for our safety. But we’re big boys. We can take care of ourselves. Well most of us…” Soonyoung assured you, standing more proud than he should’ve as he looked at Jeonghan.

“Yeah… that’s kind of what I’m worried about…” you let the joke pass your lips, trying your best not to laugh.

The other boys went into a roar of laughter as Jeonghan tried his best to hide his own amusement behind a fake angry face. The laughter seemed to be just enough noise to wake the life of the party up finally.

“Hey guys” Mingyu yawned. “What’s gonna on? Why are we laughing?”

“Well (Y/N) seems to think we’re gonna get our dicks chopped off.” Jeonghan responded to Mingyu, earning another quick chuckle and a slap from Jihoon.

“Oh well… that’s nice… any particular reason it’s me and you or is everyone else invited to the dick chopping party too?” Mingyu spoke again, trying his best to hide his obvious confusion with a joke.

“No man. It’s mostly you two.” Laughed Seungkwan. “You’re the ones who always seem to need to bury your dicks in something, not us”

You snort as you turn yourself to bury your face into Minghao’s chest, now wanting to go back to sleep knowing everyone’s alright.

“Alright alright you horny kids. All jokes aside.” Joshua spoke up. “(Y/N) how serious is this siren threat?”

“Well I’ve seen one siren take out half a town before. So pretty serious I’d gather. I dont know where all this dick chopping came into the conversation, but I’d say everyone needs to stay inside once it gets dark out until further notice, just to be safe” you mumble out from Minghao’s chest.

“Okay guys. You heard the all knowing wolf lady” Seungcheol said, earning a playful glare from you. “No more going out at night. Not for a while. No exceptions. All dicks must remain in tact” he declared.

“Aw man” Mingyu pouted, he was disappointed but also understood that the pack’s safety came before his hormones.

You let out a small giggle as Minghao lightly laughed as he placed a little kiss on the top of your head.

“No that’s enough excitement for one night. Everyone back to bed. We’ll talk more in the morning.” Joshua decided, ushering everyone back into their rooms.

Once your bedroom door was closed, Minghao picked you up mumbled an “I’m exhausted” before he placed you on the bed, the bags formed under his eyes showing you just how tired he must be. He joined you moments later and hovered himself over you.

“Do you really think the guys will stay inside because of the siren?” He questions while moving a lock of your hair behind your ear. You clasp your hands behind the back of his neck and place with his hair.

“Hmm. Don’t know. I guess we’ll see. If someone wakes up without a dick, we’ll know they didn’t listen” you said with a cheeky ass smile, much to the delight of your loving mate.

“Got it, no dick means they’re the siren’s bitch” he said aloud causing you to chuckle at his thought process.

“I promise I’ll still wake up with mine though” he added, earning a sweet smile from you. God, what did he do to deserve such a cute little mate?

“Good. I’d be real disappointed if you woke up with it gone.” You playfully pout, stroking his cheek during your sentence to further add to your point.

“Well you know how I hate to disappoint love” he said, a hint of mischief in his eyes as he pecked your lips with a bit more passion than you thought he would’ve used this early in the morning.

“I thought you were tired?” You questioned as best you could while he was trailing his kisses down to your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin gently.

“I was.” He mumbled into the crevice of your neck. “But I realized just how hard it is to resist your cute self. So now I’m thinking of some… other things we haven’t quite gotten to just yet” he answered with a playful smirk, making his intention completely obvious to you. Boy, this morning was already off to a fun start.

Another Author’s Note: I know what you guys are thinking, you’re thinking I meant succubus. But I meant Siren. There’s many different versions of both and I just happened to use the Siren version where they sing the men to lure them to their deaths on land. On another note, I finished three chapters in one day. I’m a bit proud not even gonna lie. I hope you guys liked this one. Minghao’s next chapter will be smut as I want to get their first time together out of the way as soon as possible. I don’t really know why. It just feels right you know?

(Updated 7/27)

[slasherbastard]

Jason with “I had a dream where I killed myself.”“Life isn’t worth living without you.”

(gif credit: puppetcombo)

Warnings: Mentions of suicide, swearing, angst (obviously), minor character death Word count: 2227 Notes: I wanted to try to write a male presenting reader, so the reader uses he/him pronouns

It’s been who knows how long since Jason saw another person enter Camp Crystal Lake. Not a single counsellor volunteering for yet another reopening - at last, those humans finally found some common sense in those small brains of theirs, but Jason missed it -, not even some random teenagers who are trying to find a private place to get freaky. It made Jason feel as if his life was losing its purpose.

That’s when the dreams started, his mother was disappointed in him because he wasn’t killing anymore and disappointing his mother was one of the worst things he could do. Next, disappointing you, his boyfriend. Although you never committed any murders and were fine with Jason’s lifestyle, it made Jason feel like he was disappointing you by doing nothing all day.

You, his S/O, caught up on this. When the two of you were doing chores, Jason was either messing up more than usual or not focusing at all. “J?”

Jason looked up, not realising he was supposed to be picking up the firewood he had badly chopped up just minutes - probably an hour - before. He shook his head and picked up the wood and took it inside, you watching him with a questioning look but pushing it aside to continue with your own duties.

You really enjoyed the peace and quiet and not having to deal with strangers, it was just you and your boyfriend Jason. You could tell Jason wasn’t enjoying the absence of his future victims, you didn’t know what was going on in that head of his but from what you had just witnessed earlier, it clearly wasn’t good. Jason hated it when you worried about him but sometimes you couldn’t resist it, Jason kept to himself a lot of the time so it was hard to figure out what he was thinking half of the time. You even started learning sign language after realising it was one of the best ways to communicate with him, since he didn’t really know how to write.

“Hey J?” You called out to your lover as he was coming out of the cabin. “I love you.” You said, dragging out that last ‘u’, he gave you a slight nod and went back to cutting up firewood, still not fully paying attention. You let out a quiet sigh and walked past him, entering the cabin to make yourself a snack.

Jason watched you enter the cabin, his mind racing with thoughts of you trying to avoid him. He couldn’t do anything right, he couldn’t even say those 3 special words back to the love of his life. You could leave at any time, what was stopping you? Well, apart from the fact that if you did try to leave, Jason would find you and lock you away but he knew you were too smart for that - were you?

Jason dropped the axe and speed ran into the cabin expecting you to be gone through an open window, maybe a bag packed and sitting on your shared bed, but instead he saw you taking something out of the fridge. “Jason, what’s wrong?” He shook his head as you dropped the contents onto the counter and concernedly approached him. “Are you hurt? Let me check-” You bit your lip and reached for his hands but he took them away.

“I thought you were trying to leave.” He quickly signed.

“Hey, I’m not leaving. I just wanted to make myself something for lunch.” You signed back at him. “Why would I leave?”

Jason let out a sigh and pulled you in for a tight hug, trying to cherish you - even if you do end up leaving, he wanted to remember what your smaller frame felt like against his body. The thought of you leaving hurt him even more than his mothers disappointing words that haunted him while he tried to sleep. You broke away from Jason and stared up at him, holding his hands in yours. “I swear, I’m never leaving you Jason. You mean too much to me.” You let go of his hands and walked back to the kitchen area of the cabin and grabbed a spoon from the drawer and the yoghurt from the counter and began eating it.

---

That night in bed Jason spent the night reliving the same nightmare he’d be experiencing the past couple of nights. It started with his mother sweetly telling him to kill for her but as soon as she realised that there was nobody to kill she’d grow angry. “Kill for me Jason! Kill for mommy!”

Jason tried to tell her but her shrieks just got louder and louder, then you’d appear.

“Jason I never should’ve dated you. You’re just a weak excuse of a man, the Crystal Lake Killer, huh? I should’ve left when I had the chance.” You’d say in disgust before leaving Jason alone in the dark void where he couldn’t breathe. But this time, his nightmare had a new addition - that’s when he’d realise he was underwater and he’d gasp for air before realising he was sinking lower and lower. He’d sink until he stopped breathing, then die then come back to life and the short cycle would repeat of him sinking and gasping for air until he’d eventually wake up hyperventilating. This was it, he was finally going to die.

The voices began to get louder - not just yours and his mothers, but all the past victims, the kids who watched him drown, people he’d never met in his life, everyone was against him. Everyone hates Jason.

Jason woke up and made a noise that sounded like a scream being subdued by water, mixed with the hyperventilating was enough to wake up. You quickly sat up and turned on the lamp beside you and rubbed Jason’s back in an attempt to calm him down, he flinched at your touch but as soon as he realised it was you and you weren’t telling him he was a disappointment, he calmed down. You waited until he was calm enough to be left alone and then got up and went straight to the kitchen to make tea - you weren’t sure whether or not it’d help since this was the first time you witnessed Jason having a night terror, but making tea was the first thing that came to mind.

By the time the tea was ready Jason was sitting on the tearing couch in the cabin’s makeshift living room, just staring into nothing. You grabbed the two teacups and brought them into the living room and set them on the coffee table. “Do you want to talk about it?” Jason looked at you and you could feel him judging your choice of words through the eyeholes of his hockey mask. “I’m sorry.” You sat down opposite Jason and began signing at him. “Do you want to sign about it?”

Jason didn’t do anything, just staring back at you with his lifeless eyes. Usually he loved your jokes but this time he felt nothing. Jason slowly raised his hands. “I had a dream I killed myself.”

You had to do a double table as you watched Jason, asking him to repeat himself. It was a lot for you. “Why?”

“I’m a disappointment to you and mother. You’re going to leave me and life isn’t worth living without you.”

You quickly wiped a few tears that were forming in your eyes and took a sip of your tea. “It’s because this place has been empty, hasn’t it?” Jason nodded. “Jason. You have never disappointed me, ever. Killing or not, I’ll always be proud of you and you’ll always be my favourite person. I can’t speak for your mother but I’m sure she loves you just as much now as she did when you were killing people, why don’t we go talk to her?”

Jason looked at you like you were crazy but he knew that you were right. You needed to talk to your mother about this. Jason got up without another noise and you followed him outside, grabbing your coat on the way out. Jason ended up bringing his mother’s head back to her body in the cemetery sometime before you came around.

When the two of you reached the cemetery you stopped and tried to let Jason go inside by himself since he was the only one who could hear his mother’s voice, but he grabbed your hand and forcefully pulled you in with him. “Jason, don’t be nervous.”

Jason ignored your advice and found his mother’s grave and stopped. You thought he was going to try and leave but then you noticed him staring intensely at the gravestone before nodding and letting go of your hand. You watched Jason for a while until he turned to you for a second, then back to the spot in front of him, then he turned back to you again and signed the words “She doesn’t hate me.”

You smiled and signed “Tell her I said hello.”

“She says hello back, and thanks you for being here with me when she c-couldn’t.”

You smiled and tried not to start bawling on the spot, you cared about Jason too much to even think about leaving and you wished he could see that. You looked up as Jason took a step back and took your hand in his and the two of you walked back to the secluded cabin. As soon as you entered the cabin you took off your coat and threw it over the couch and turned back to Jason. “Is everything going to be okay now?”

He nodded and signed “I’m sorry for doubting your love for me.”

“It’s okay, let's just get some rest now.”

Jason didn’t have any nightmares for the rest of the night. You ended up waking up before Jason and decided to go for a walk, one of the perks of living in the middle of the woods on an abandoned campsite was being able to do anything without worrying about being judged - In this case, going for a walk at 11am in your pajamas was perfect. You quickly grabbed your coat and left, worried about waking up Jason.

Your mind started to wander as you followed the dirt path, letting your mind wander, you usually listened to music or if Jason were awake you’d be talking to him instead. Your brain was just filled with Jason, you couldn’t stop thinking about him and the previous night and how you didn’t realise he was having nightmares. It made you feel bad but you had to remind yourself that you did nothing wrong and Jason did nothing wrong either, you had no reason to feel bad but your guilty conscience was giving in. You turned into the main part of the camp where all the counsellors usually stayed and almost didn’t notice that you weren’t alone until you heard an unfamiliar voice.

“Hey! Are you a counsellor here, too? I think I arrived a little earlier than I was supposed to. I’m Ash.” He stuck his hand out and you shook it.

“Yeah, I got here the night before, explains the pajamas.” You laughed and continued talking to this new face but you couldn’t pay attention to his words, you were too excited to tell Jason although you were 80% sure that he was already aware of this.

“- But yeah that’s my story, how about you?”

“What? Oh, I had to move back in with my parents and they were bothering me about not having a job, so my aunt suggested that I become a counsellor and uh here I am.” You lied, trying to subtly look around to see if Jason had woken up, he had a tendency for watching you, especially if he heard you talking to a complete stranger - and spoiler alert, he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. That’s when you had an idea. “So, nobody else has arrived yet?”

“Nope, just us.” Bingo.

“Cool. Hey, are you aware of the rumours behind this place?”

“What? With the Crystal Lake Killer? Bullshit.”

“Really? Because I was just walking around and I shit you not, I think I saw a body.”

“Show me.” Was this guy really that stupid?

Without another word the two of you went to look for the ‘body’. The whole walk to the cabin Ash asked every question he could think of. “How dead is the body?” “Is it fresh?” “How are you not dead yet?” He was getting on your nerves but you knew that he’d be dead in a few minutes, just hoping that Jason was awake.

You both reached the cabin and something moving around behind one of the broken windows. You tried to hide your smile as you approached the cabin. “It’s just in here.”

“Hey man I don’t think this is a good idea.” You stopped and turned to your new found friend.

“I thought you wanted to see the body.”

“Well yeah but- fine. I’m going in first.” Ash desperately pushed past you and entered the house, you heard a scream before Jason appeared holding a bloody machete.

“Did you enjoy your surprise, J? There are more arriving today. I think it’s a sign.” You got all giddy and ran up to Jason, hugging him. He dropped his machete and hugged you back.

[mysingularitybts]

Glances a Jung Hoseok One-Shot

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x famous!reader

Genre: romance, 

Warnings: none 

Here I was at another big fancy event. Don't get me wrong it was an amazing opportunity and it showed how far I had come in my career. I was honored to be invited to the Variety Hitmakers Brunch, yet I detested how snotty everyone here was.

All award shows of sorts were always the same thing, people bragging about what they won. It seems they forget the reason we are here is to celebrate the music that has the power to change many people's lives. Even the dirtiest songs have the power to help a person. Music can lift people's moods, give them closure, become their relationship songs, give warmth to a romantic moment. Music is always in our lives one way or another making every moment better. It's why it's so crucial in moviemaking. It sets the mood and without it, everything would be much less anticlimactic and boring.

Back to the point at hand, it's not so much the artists who I frown upon, it's the people behind them. Managers and CEO's, they suck the life out of events treating it like a business (which it is for them). Their greedy eyes looking for the next collaboration, for the next hit. They whisper in your ears making you think it's your idea, but it's not. It's all part of their master plan to make more money, to make you do most of the work. Having barely any regard for your health or wants or needs.

I don't want to say it's like I describe all the time because it's not, but a lot of them are like that. I'm one of the lucky few who got a good team behind them. It was no easy task though I failed many times and people failed me, somehow, I managed to get through it. I had my family and friends to pick me up every time I fell and made a mistake. Eventually, I found my amazing manager Carly and she led me to my amazing record label.

It's been five years since I've been in the music industry officially. It all started when I was 16 and had a dream of becoming a successful singer. How naïve I was thinking it was just going to be me signing to my heart's content. HA! It was eventually, but first I had to learn to produce, to practice singing, and to practice dancing. I had to face failure every time my CEO said she didn't like my new song or theme. Having to start over again to come out with something that satisfied her. After finally coming out with an album I loved with all my heart and it being a success I also had to face a lot of hatred and as a 17-year-old girl, it hits you hard. Other than the hatred I also had to manage my personal life and learn to adapt to a new way of life.

It's all in the past now. I learned how to ignore the hate to my best ability. I learned to focus on the fans that loved my work. To hear them out and become even better. There were a lot of things that happened in between, but I like to think they don't matter anymore as long as I learned my lesson. Although my dream to become a singer was very different from what I imagined, I didn't regret it one bit. It led me to where I was right now receiving an award for artist of the year at the Vanity Hitmakers Brunch.

Walking around with Carly leading the way I saw a lot of my colleagues and friends. Depending on what they were doing whether that was being interviewed or simply talking amongst each other I'd wave hello or stop and talk to them. These award things could be reunions between friends since it was hard at times to meet up with everybody since we were all on tour or filming or in different parts of the globe. It was one of the reasons I still came to these events the other reason being the fans. I owed them my success so if seeing me in an award show made them happy then I would go. I would also fangirl over other artists. Can you blame me? I'm only a human that likes listening to people's music.

As I walked around, I saw Billie Eilish, an amazing artist I collaborated with a few months ago. I liked her since she also saw the truth behind this industry, we had an understanding about it and that made us bond. I could only wave since she was in a conversation with one of the organizers of the awards.

As I kept walking and looking around my eyes landed on seven gorgeous men. My jaw dropped not only because of their beauty but because of who they were. It was none other than BTS. My heart raced; I have been a fan of their music since practically the beginning. How did I not know they were going to be here? I've always wanted to meet them, but we never coincided on any past award shows because for some reason every time they went, I had something else going on. I hated myself for it.

With sweaty palms, I debated on going over to them. I mean they were probably busy talking to somebody else yet nobody was approaching them. They even seem bored. Why was that? They were an amazing band that everybody wanted to collaborate with or be seen with. It just didn't make sense. Maybe it was the language barrier? It could be since not many American artists knew Korean.

With that thought in mind, I hung my head in defeat since I didn't know Korean either. Disappointed I turned around to leave when I almost slapped myself across the face in realization. One of them knows English surely with his help you could get the point across that you were a huge fan and not only that, but this dumb bitch also knows Korean.

How could I forget I know a whole other language is beyond me, but it happened. Thank you Nari for teaching me. Nari is my best friend we have known each other since preschool and are still very close. Her parents moved to the United States from Korea when she was still just a baby.

While I was in school my parents often were not around much so the Seong family took care of me until they got off work. Thus, I learned the Korean language and a bit of its culture. Plus, I gained a whole other family who I love very much.

Shaking my thoughts away I began walking over to them. My hands trembling in excitement, my inner fangirl begging to come out. I kept her locked up though because I did not want to make a fool out of myself. As I got closer, I saw Jimin look my way from his spot on one of the sofas that were around the tents.

When I got to where they were, they all stopped talking between themselves and looked up at me. Eyes wide not knowing what to expect.

With a gulp, I bowed and with a trembling voice said in Korean, "Hello, my name is y/n and I am a huge fan of your work." I crossed my fingers hoping my Korean didn't fail me.

With anxiousness, I waited for their response. Suddenly it vanished as Jungkook smiled up at me, stood up and shook my hand.

"Hello y/n, I'm Jeon Jungkook I'm glad you enjoy our work." He said smiling brightly at me.

I almost fainted seeing as 1/7 of BTS was standing in front of me shaking my hand. I was never going to wash my hand again. Gathering my wits, I kept on smiling as the introductions kept going around.

Once all introductions were done, which I think weren't necessary, they made a space for me to sit with them.

"I got to say I didn't expect anybody here to speak our language," Yoongi said from his seat as he looked at me.

"Oh, I only know because of my best friend. She's also Korean and taught me everything I know," I explained, "If I say anything wrong, blame her," I finished joking.

"No, you are doing very well, your friend did a good job," Hoseok said from his spot beside me.

"I have to say I am also a big fan of your music," he then said abashedly.

"Really?!" I said surprised not expecting them to know much about my music.

"Yeah, he has followed your music for about two years now," Taehyung exclaimed as he shot Hoseok a teasing smile.

"He even has a collection of your albums," Jin blurted out trying to get the point across.

"Yah, stop it you are embarrassing me," Hoseok told them, trying to play it cool and hide his blushing face.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. It makes me so happy that you enjoy my music!" I honestly said holding my hands close to my heart.

It was one thing to meet your idols but for them to also know your music is another level. I felt proud of myself since I looked up to them and their work.

We sat in the middle of the tent talking to our heart's content for a while. I was glad I had the guts to talk to them seeing as they no longer looked so serious or bored. I guess they were just a little lonely and wanted some company. Talking to them felt easy. I thought it would be a bit more awkward, but I was proven wrong. They knew how to hold a conversation. We talked about everything from their upcoming music to my music, to the places we've traveled, and about the awards in itself. There was never a boring moment; they made everything entertaining or interesting.

It was when we were laughing loudly about something Jimin said that my manager came to tell me it was time to go find our seats since the ceremony would begin shortly. With a disappointed sigh, I went to stand up and say goodbye to BTS.

"Well, guys I guess this is goodbye," I started saying sadly, "It was great meeting you, I hope I get to see you again."

"I hope so too," Taehyung said enthusiastically, "I had a lot of fun talking to you."

I looked at them as I bid my farewells. When I got to Hoseok he looked as if he wanted to tell me something but couldn't bring himself to.  Yoongi, noticing his reaction, took matters into his own hands.

"Hey y/n, how about we take a picture to remember this day?" he asked, offering a smile.

"Let's do it!" I responded.

They all stood up and got into position. It was Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung, Namjoon, me, Hoseok, Yoongi, and Jin. I felt as Namjoon wrapped an arm around my shoulders and Hoseok partially wrapped his arm around my waist not quite touching me. Something strange happened to me as I felt very aware of his body heat, touch, and the smell of his cologne.

Once the pictures were taken, I felt disappointed as he stepped away from me. Disregarding those thoughts, I shook my head and bid them goodbye once again. I couldn't believe I had met BTS wait until I told Nari. She is going to freak out and ask me all kinds of questions. I would be able to fangirl with her, but until then I'd have to hold it in.

The awards went, as usual, I cheered on my fellow friends and colleagues, yet I cheered a little louder for my new friends BTS, they truly deserved the award. As someone who has seen them from the beginning, I could say they worked very hard to get to where they are now and had been through some tough times. Not only did they manage to become successful in Korea, but they also paved the way for many Korean artists to get recognized in the United States.

Once the awards ended and all the photoshoots and speeches were done, I found myself walking to the back entrance of the building to get to the SUV waiting for me. My feet were killing me making my back hurt, the makeup on my face felt uncomfortable, and not to mention the dress I was wearing got scratchier the more I had it on.

Deep into my thoughts, I didn't hear a voice calling out to me until Carly nudged her elbow into my side. I looked at her questioningly and she pointed over to the man walking over to me his dimpled smile being a welcoming sight.

"Oh, sorry Namjoon I didn't hear you, what's up?" I spoke as I stopped walking waiting for him to catch up.

"Don't worry, it happens to all of us, I wanted to ask if you were going to the after-party?" he asked as he tilted his head in question. It was a cute sight not going to lie.

"No, I'm not a big fan of after-parties they get too wild," I explained.

"In that case, would you like to meet up with us in a few hours after we get out of here?" he eagerly asked "We are not big fans either of American after-parties. They get awkward for us because of the language barrier," he finished saying.

"I understand," I told him reassuringly, "Count me in."

"We'll stay at our hotel and celebrate there. I'll send you the address," he stated, giving me a smile, his eyes closing at the same time.

"I'll see you there!"

"One more thing!" He exclaimed, "Come in comfortable clothes it'll just be us hanging out, no need for fancy clothing," he then finished explaining seeing my confused face.

"Even better, this dress has been getting more uncomfortable the more I wear it," I said relieved that I wouldn't have to dress up again.

It was fun dressing up, but it got uncomfortable quickly.

"See you later?" Namjoon asked one more time as he started walking away.

"Definitely," I replied as I waved him goodbye.

As soon as I got to my apartment, I took a quick shower and changed into a pair of high waisted leggings and a cropped hoodie. I didn't do much with my makeup, just applied some tinted moisturizer, did my eyebrows, applied some mascara, and some lip balm. Trust me compared to what I was wearing earlier this was nothing. As I got ready Namjoon sent me a text with the address of the hotel and what time I should get there. Luckily the hotel wasn't that far, and I had about an hour to spare. So, I did the only reasonable thing. I took a nap. After my nap, I realized it was time to go.

When I arrived at the hotel, I quickly made my way up to the room Namjoon told me about. As I got closer to the door, I heard a lot of loud voices, yup, I was definitely in the right place.

I knocked on the door and waited for somebody to open it. I didn't have to wait long when Hoseok confusedly opened the door.

"Y/n?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah? Hi Hoseok," I greeted smiling up at him.

"I didn't know you were coming," he confessed, still looking confused.

"Oh, I invited her," Namjoon began saying, "I guess I forgot to tell you, Sorry Hobi."

"Yah Hoseok let her in already," Jin yelled from his place on the sofa.

Hurriedly Hoseok got out of the way and gestured me in. I walked inside and noticed they were all dressed comfortably too in Jeans and their signature Hoodies. As I looked around somebody ran up to me and engulfed me in a hug. When they stepped back, I realized it was Taehyung.

"Hi, Taehyung!" I greeted him.

"Y/n I'm so glad you're here!" he said excitedly, "I was getting bored with these people around." He then said seriously.

I started laughing when I heard a hurt "Hey!" from Jimin.

Unbeknownst to me, Taehyung was sending Hoseok a teasing smile as he glared at him not liking the proximity between us.

"What were you guys up to?" I asked curiously.

"Nothing much we were going to start a live soon," Jungkook answers as he set up a tripod in front of the sofa.

"Oh! In that case let me know so I can scooch over a corner while you talk to army," I told them kindly.

"Nonsense you get to be with us in the live," Jimin said from his place on the dining table the hotel offered.

"Are you sure?" I questioned with uncertainty, "I know you guys don't usually have guests in your lives."

BTS usually didn't do lives with other people. They did them mainly amongst themselves. I didn't know how army would take it if they had somebody else with them, especially a girl. They would certainly have something to say about it.

"We're sure. Don't worry, it'll be fun!" Hoseok said from behind me as he patted my shoulder.

As soon as the setup was done we all gathered around the sofa. Jungkook, Jimin, Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi sat on the L shaped sofa while Taehyung, Hoseok, and I sat on the floor leaving me in between them.

Surprisingly the live went very smoothly and it was a lot of fun. I didn't see many hate comments just questioning ones as to why I was there. The guys introduced me as their new friend and as we went along the live there were opportunities for me to get to know them a bit better.

While I sat there, I felt as Hoseok's leg pressed against mine, making me feel flustered. Warmth spread through me the more the live went on. At some point he whispered something in my ear in a low voice that made me lose focus on what was happening around me. He was doing things to me I couldn't explain. I wonder if he also felt the same things I did. Towards the end of the live I couldn't focus anymore. The strange thing was that Taehyungs leg was also very close to mine and he even had his arm around me for some time, yet that did not bother me in any way.

When the live ended my thoughts were interrupted by Jimin giving out a yell as he opened a bottle of champagne. Deciding not to think of my bodies reaction to the rapper beside me I shook my head and accepted the glass Namjoon offered me.

I was glad I came to what I now call the BTS afterparty. The guys were amazing and came up with the weirdest games.

Throughout the night I couldn't help but sneak glances at Hoseok. My eyes always wondered to him without my consent and whenever he spoke my attention would instantly be on him. At one point when I turned to look at him, he was already staring at me very intensely. I tried to hold eye contact, his eyes were very dark and alluring causing me to get lost in them, feeling as if I had fallen into a dark abyss. There was so much emotion in his gaze, I got overwhelmed and looked away. I felt as a blush crept up my cheeks and as I looked back up again, he gave me a smirk.

Wasn't Hoseok supposed to be the sunshine of the group? This wasn't sunshine, sure it was fiery but it was also sinful and flirty and dark.

After a while and I decided I had enough to drink so I got up to leave. I wasn't drunk or tipsy but if I kept drinking, I would get there. I bid my farewells promising to see them again soon and left the room. As the doors to the elevator started to close a hand stopped them and a man came in.

Looking up at him I confusedly asked, "Hoseok?"

"Y/n wait," he said rushed.

"What is it?" I asked nervously.

It was only the two of us in the elevator and as I recalled all the glances and grins he gave me back in the room, I started growing nervous. I stuck my hands in the front pocket of my hoodie to try and hide their trembling.

He got very close to me, our chests almost touching. He leaned his face down towards mine. I felt his hands graze my cheeks with his breath mixing with mine. He got closer, his lips brushing on mine until he pulled away. I hadn't realized I had closed my eyes but as he grew the distance between us, I opened them in confusion, disappointment reflecting in them. I was breathless even though the kiss didn't happen and as I looked at him, he was the same way.

Hoseok still had his hands on my face and I felt as he grazed his thumb on my lips. For some reason, he also had a disappointed look on his face. I wonder why, he could have kissed me if he wanted, plus,  he was the one in control of the whole situation. He could have done anything and I wouldn't have protested.

"Let me take you out on a date first," he said, answering my silent question.

I could only nod but that was not enough for him.

He got closer again but this time it was to whisper in my ear, "I need to hear you say it."

His voice was low and raspy. I couldn't stop the goosebumps from arising on my skin.

"Y-Yes, I'd, um, love to go on a date with you," I felt like a schoolgirl as I stuttered.

I jumped as I felt the elevator ding signaling it had arrived at its destination. Somehow without me noticing he had stepped away taking his warmth with him and leaving me cold.

"I'll see you soon for our date, y/n," he then said cheerfully, his attitude changing completely from before.

"Bye Hoseok," I said perplexed at the sudden change.

I walked away from the elevator but turned to look back. There he was staring at me again as the door closed and just before they did, he sent me a wink as a seductive smile made its way to his lips.

A/N: I don't think I've ever written anything like this. So, if you guys enjoyed it please let me know and make sure to like and reblog to show your support.

Im still shocked at what I wrote. It honestly started as an innocent idea but towards the end something like happened. It's not smutty but like I tried to write a tension between them.

Did you feel it? Did it need more?

Please let me know!

See you guys later ;) 💜 x

-Nikki Marie

[noonachronicles]

The End of the F**king World Pt. 4

Byun Baekhyun X Reader

Word Count: 10.8k

Warnings: Language. Some violence. 

Genre: Apocalyptic/Alien Invasion AU. Slow Burn (ish?). One pining pup and one idiot in denial to eventual lovers.

A/N: No real notes for this one except enjoy?!

When you woke up the next morning you knew the two of you had overslept. From under the door you could see there was a bright glow growing against the walls of the dressing room as the department store filled with sunlight. However, you couldn’t move. Apparently, sometime in the night, you and Baekhyun had made some adjustments. The two of you were spooning, and he was the big one. One of his arms cradled your head and the other was tucked under your arm as he held you, his chest was warm against your back. You had your fingers wrapped around his soft hand, holding it close to your chest.

You thought about what you should do. The most ‘you’ way to handle the situation would probably be to overreact and make a big scene. Tear his arm from you and jump out of the embrace. Yell at him for doing absolutely nothing wrong. Truthfully though it felt nice. More than nice. It felt absolutely amazing. With the exception of hugs from Seulgi and Irene and the occasional pat on the back from Chanyeol for doing a good job you were severely lacking in the human contact department.

Baekhyun had been really excellent at providing you comfort and contact lately. The way held you after Baddies first attack, the night before when he’d hugged all the sadness out of you. Being tucked into him, squished like sardines, on your tiny bed back at Cordially. You’d gotten a real taste for it. It felt nice just to be close to someone and you guessed there was no real harm in it. So you didn’t do the ‘you’ thing. Instead you didn’t move at all, you just stayed put and watched the wall grow brighter with daylight as you waited for him to wake up.

After a while you could feel him stirring behind you. Adjusting to get comfortable and pulling you closer. His nose was pressed against the nape of your neck and he breathed you in with a sigh of content. In his arrested state of awareness he pressed a few soft kisses against the skin between your neck and shoulder. Though your eyes went wide and your mouth dropped open you tried not to get too tense. He was mostly asleep, you’d reminded yourself, he didn’t know. Seconds passed as he started to really wake and he seemed to have finally processed as he inhaled sharply in realization.

“Oh shit…” he muttered under his breath.

You stayed still, silent, as he slowly tried to remove himself from you. It made you want to laugh more than anything so you bit your lip. He was so panicked and cautious. There was something about the way he squirmed that brought you joy, it always did. He was just so cute when he was nervous. And he was so often nervous around you. When he finally got free he sighed in relief and then tried to settle back down on the ground beside you. It was then you finally stretched out and pretended to stir from your own sleep.

“Morning.” You said through a fake yawn as you turned towards him.

“Good morning.”

“Have you been up long?” You asked sitting up and reaching for your pack.

“No, I just barely woke up.” His face was flush as he sat up and started to pull his boots back on.

After taking a drink from your water bottle you gave a small huff of a laugh, “I’m surprised you could sleep through all my snoring.”

“It was rough, but the music helped.” He grinned over at you.

As you pulled your own boots on Baekhyun sat quietly and watched you. He looked nervous at first, but the longer you went on without mentioning him kissing you the more he seemed to ease. 

“What time is it?”

Looking down at his wrist he groaned, “Shit, my watch broke.”

You eyed him as you zipped up your backpack, “So, we go downstairs and find you a watch. Then go through quads Six, Three and Two. Rendezvous is in One, right? Or is it Four?”

“Four technically, but I think it’s right on the line.” He grunted as he stood up and offered you his hand. You hummed in agreement as he helped you to your feet. “We can try to go through Five.”

“That’s City Center.” You shook your head, “it doesn’t even go all the way through because of the bombs. The old bank building destroyed like three blocks when it collapsed.”

Both of you eyed your surroundings cautiously as you left the dressing room. It seemed that there weren’t any Lurkers. The sunlight bursting through the glass building deterring them from sticking around.

“Yeah, I know, but it would still be shorter. We could skip quad Three all together.” He justified, “We’d clear Six, cut through City Center to the blockage and it’ll curve us up to Two. Then it’s just a quick sprint through one and we’re back with everyone else. They blasted that huge hole into the side of the art museum. It's always flooded with sunlight. I’m sure we could just walk right through without even seeing a single Lurker.”

“I don’t know.” You eyed the steps of the escalator as you made your way down to the first floor, Baekhyun following behind you.

He sighed, “If we just do it, that makes the whole trip one day. If we go all the way around it’s two and everyone is already ahead of us. I know you don’t want them waiting on you, you’d hate that.”

“One day, sure, but we’d be cutting it really fucking close.” You looked around the bottom floor for what you were looking for, the jewelry section, “If we hit any snags, that means we don’t make it to rendezvous by dark. So it’s two days anyway and we’ve needlessly risked our lives going through City Center.”

Picking up the first watch you saw you turned and tossed it to him. He looked down at the watch but he wasn’t as happy as you thought he’d be. He frowned slightly as he looked at the watch but you knew it wasn’t the watch he was upset with. It was pretty clear he just wanted you to consider his opinion. You thought about the other day when he’d yelled at you. What he wanted was for you to see him as an equal. That’s probably all he’d ever wanted from you.

With a sigh you thought about his plan. It wasn’t the worst idea, and it would severely cut down travel time. Depending on what route the others took you could catch up or maybe even make it to rendezvous before them. He was right, the thought of people sitting around waiting for you felt like bugs under your skin.

“Okay.”

Surprised, he looked up from where he’d been perusing the watches. “What?”

“Okay, we go through City Center.” you smiled over at him, “It’s a good idea, Baek.”

“Seriously?” He asked, an adorable smile blooming across his face.

“Seriously.” You nodded, “Take the lead today.”

His joyous face turned quickly to suspicion. “Who are you and what did you do with my favorite control freak?”

You rolled your eyes, “You have one minute to tell me exactly what your plan is or I take control back.”

“Well obviously, first things first.” He snagged a nice silver watch from a shattered display case and nodded toward the exit, “It’s time for breakfast. The most important meal of the day.”

The two of you made your way outside to the now empty street. Baekhyun waited for you as you ran across to where your knife was still lying on the ground from the night before and then led you a couple blocks away to a building that was half destroyed. An army tank had driven into the side and the roof was collapsing around it. The wood looked rotted and the metal rusted over the years. The windows around the rest of the building were all boarded up with plywood, you couldn’t tell what the building used to be or why Baekhyun was bringing you to it. He knocked loudly on the plywood as he made his way around to what was apparently the front of the building and then paused to listen for any Lurkers.

“What is this place?” You asked as you looked for a door. You knew there had to be one but there was so much rubble and debris you weren’t sure how to get to it.

“Hidden gem.” He said simply, and once he was sure that it was clear he pushed a half-full trash can and a car door to the side before grabbing onto a piece of plywood and pulling it forward, creating an opening, “Go on. Trust me, it’s clear...most likely.”

You looked skeptically at Baekhyun and then back to the dark opening he’d revealed and took your backpack off. You pushed the bag in before you and then ducked inside. It was dark inside with the exception of a few beams of light in the corner where the roof had fallen in. It was too dark to really tell what it was, your eyes hadn’t adjusted yet, but before worrying too much about it you turned and pushed the wood forward so Baekhyun could duck inside with you. Once he straightened out in front of you, you both reached for your flashlights. Your eyes widened as you realized where you were.

“A convenience store?” You asked, walking over to a counter of candies and grabbing every lollipop you saw. Thinking about Jongin you also grabbed the whole container of jolly ranchers. “I have so many questions.”

“Ask away.” He said looking over at you. You handed him a sucker and he accepted it, popping the candy into his cheek.

“This is Quad Six. How did you know this was here?”

He laughed and pulled his knife from its sheath at his hip, just in case, before making his way down one of the aisles, “I’m a little insulted you’d pretend like you’ve never scavenged outside of our quad.”

He was right. You both should have stayed in Nine, that was the rule that the community had agreed on, but you rarely did.  Baekhyun was spinning his hunting knife casually at his side as he made his way down the aisle, sucker in his cheek, eyeing the food on the shelves like he was looking for something specific. You moved down the aisle in front of you to see what you could find.

“Why is it still so full? Shouldn’t someone have cleared it out by now?” You asked, finding some packages of trail mix and tossing them into your bag.

“I will answer your question by asking a question. Do you know who scavenges for Quad Six?” his voice came from the next aisle over.

After a moment of thought you hummed, “Joy.”

“And who scavenges for Three?” He asked, meeting back up with you at the end of the aisles with his blade back at his hip and two jars in his arms.

You grinned as you realized where he was going with it, “Taeil.”

Baekhyun nodded, “Her boyfriend, who gives her half of everything he finds so she doesn’t have to scavenge and they can spend all day together.”

“Lucky for us.” You laughed.

“Exactly.”

He grabbed a bag of beef jerky off a hook and had you grab a couple jugs of water before making it back to the counter in the front. You watched as he angled his flashlight into one of the jugs to create a makeshift lantern. Along with the jerky he’d grabbed there was a jar of peanut butter and one of jelly.

He put down a package of what was surely stale crackers  on the counter as well. “Breakfast is served. You don’t have to use the crackers, they're probably gross.”

Deciding to forgo the crackers you dipped your finger straight into the jar of peanut butter. Humming with pure delight at the taste as you scooped some into your mouth. Baekhyun just laughed as he shoved beef jerky between his teeth. There wasn’t much noise between the two of you as you ate. You wished you could call it a bad meal but it wasn’t, not considering some of the meals you’d gotten used to at this point.

“What do you miss the most?” You asked once the bag of jerky neared its end.

“What do I miss about what?”

“Before.” You thought about that a lot. The people, the things, small comforts, things you took for granted every day.

He thought about it for a minute. He had Chanyeol, he had you, and he had air in his lungs. He didn't like to remind himself of the people he’d lost so he just hadn’t really thought about it. “I don’t know. Nothing?”

“Nothing?” You asked incredulously. “There has to be something.”

“What do you miss?” He asked.

“Pizza.” You sighed. “Cheese in general.”

“Oh.” He laughed realizing the question wasn’t as deep as he imagined. “Yeah, I guess I miss pizza too. Oh, ice cream! What else do you miss?”

“It’s stupid.” You blushed a little, embarrassed for missing it.

“Tell me.”

“I miss date nights.”

“Date night?” He was both surprised and confused. Even before the invasion you didn’t seem like the type to get excited over something like that.

“Not just like with Siwon.” You shrugged, somehow knowing exactly where his perplexity came from, “I mean I miss that too. Wearing something cute, eating somewhere expensive. Mostly I miss bestie dates with Seul. We’d get dressed up and go to a club downtown and just dance and blow off guys that would buy us drinks. I miss taking myself out on dates. Eating just dessert for dinner and seeing a movie. Taking a day off work in the middle of the week to see a matinee of a play. I miss people watching on the subway and meeting strangers in coffee shops who have the same band shirt I have because we were both at the same concert the night before. I don’t know. Stupid shit.”

“It’s not stupid.” He shook his head. “Sounds like you just miss being human.”

“What did you used to do?”

“You’re not just going to assume I spent all my free time with Chanyeol?” He grinned.

“I am definitely assuming that.” You laughed, “Just thought I’d give you a chance to rebut it.”

“For a really long time, yeah, I spent like all my free time with him. Playing video games, building computers.” He shrugged, “But uh, that last half a year or so before the invasion he was really trying to get Seulgi to like him.”

“Thought so.” You smiled. They were cute and you really were happy for them. “So what did you do then?”

“I don’t know. Read some books. Binged a lot of Netflix. Got really into Legos for a while. I tried dating here and there but I just couldn’t get into anyone.”

“You went on dates?” You asked slowly, you could feel your jaw tighten, a little gremlin of jealousy stirring awake in your gut. “We spent all of our lunches together and you never mentioned anyone.”

“Like I said, never really worked out. Why bring it up?” He asked closing the lid on the empty peanut butter jar.

“I don’t know you could have told me. We were friends before this, right? Sort of? You could have talked to me about it, I could have offered you advice as a member of the opposite sex or something.”

“Yeah of course we were friends but it wasn’t a big deal. I was too hung up on someone else anyway so it didn’t matter. I think I just did it to have something to do. It didn’t work because I didn’t really want it to.”

“Oh…” you hummed curiously, “Hung up on someone. Someone I knew?”

Baekhyun smirked, “You sound jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.” You scowled, “I’m curious.”

“Well it doesn’t matter now, right?”

“Exactly, so just tell me who it was.” You offered up your biggest, sweetest smile.

He smiled back in his amusement, his mouth opened just slightly and you felt on the edge of your metaphorical seat waiting to hear the name. You tried to rack your memory for people you used to know, girls you’d met at parties or here and there.

Baekhyun took a deep breath and said, “It’s getting late we should get going.”

Your shoulders fell in disappointment as he filled his water bottle up from the jug you’d been sharing. “Baek… come on.”

He put his hand out and you handed him your water bottle as well. “Maybe I’ll tell you later.”

With a pout you huffed out a breath of annoyed air. “Maybe I won’t want to know then.”

Looking up at you with raised eyebrows and a grin he said, “Please. You’ll want to know. It’s killing you.”

“I. Hate. You.” You growled as you snatched your full bottle from him and followed him over to your exit.

Pushing the plywood forward he just smiled, enjoying for the moment his power over you, no matter how miniscule. With a glare you ducked through the opening.

“I love you too.”

It was quiet as you walked down the street, looking out for signs of movement. Not just worried about Lurkers in the dark any longer but now having to keep an eye out for Baddie. The path Baekhyun took you down wasn’t a straight shot to City Center, but a sort of zigzag through the blocks. There were no complaints from you, you would have made the same choice. You spent most of the walk just thinking. About how the rest of the afternoon would go, how preparations tomorrow would go for the attack, what it would actually look like, who would get hurt, who would possibly die. Just your normal train of thought filled with anxiety and panic.

Baekhyun did not seem to be on the same wavelength as you at all. He’d pulled out both of his cameras. The nicer one slung around his neck as he kept the other one in hand. Going through City Center was rare so you could see why he might want to shoot a couple pictures, for ‘posterity's sake’ as he’d said.

“Y/n.” he called behind you and you turned.

Looking up at the building he was standing in front of you froze. It was an old skyscraper. Or it used to be. It had been the tallest building in the city before the invasion. Rented out to dozens of elite businesses, so elite that you’d never had to go inside of it, so you weren’t sure why you were so shaken by the sight of it. It had been a hundred floors before but had been knocked down to about thirty. The windows, the ones that were left at least, were mirrored and reflected the city around it. The front doors were smashed and you could see inside to the foyer where the old marble floors were covered in dirt and trash that had been blown in by the wind and collected over the years. For the life of you, you couldn’t figure out what seemed so familiar about it.

“Y/n…” Baekhyun tried again, this time really gaining your attention. “Come here.”

“What?” you asked, stepping towards him and the building.

“Stand here,” He grabbed your shoulders and moved you in front of one of the reflective windows. When he stepped back he grabbed the camera around his neck and your shoulders slumped.

“Baek, no. Come on.” you whined.

“Please? It’s going to look so cool, I swear.” he smiled hopefully, “Do something cute.”

“Something cute?” you chuckled. “I don’t even know how...”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Just smile, you dork.”

You gave him a grumpy pouty look that you had probably given your mother some point as a teenager which he loved. Then you kicked your foot out and threw up a peace sign which he lost his mind over. You kept going, giving him over the top poses that you probably would have used for Instagram a lifetime ago, until both of you were laughing too much to keep going.

“Are you done?” you asked feeling the ache grow in your cheeks.

“One more.” he chuckled and moved to stand next to you.

He placed the nice camera he’d been holding against his chest. Grabbing your shoulders he turned you around so you were facing the mirrored window and lifted up his instant camera. You watched him for a second as he messed with the settings and took a test shot. Then you looked back at yourself in the mirrored window and fixed the loose pieces of your hair as you waited.

“Okay.” he held the camera facing the window and leaned his head on your shoulder. “Smile.”

This time you gave him a genuine smile and he snapped the picture. You stood together, shoulder to shoulder, as the picture came into view. It wasn’t something you would have liked to admit, but it was cute. Your happy reflections without an ounce of worry, you could see the sky reflected behind the two of you. Cumulus clouds that looked like fluffy cotton balls and the rest a bright blue. The two of you looked incredibly cute together. For just a second it allowed you to imagine yourself being in a different universe. One where aliens had never invaded. One where you and Baek were headed to some nerdy comic book convention at the convention center down the street in a zombie apocalypse cosplay and stopped to take a picture together.

“It’s good right?”

He went to pocket the picture with all the others he’d taken and you grabbed his arm, “Can I keep that one?”

“Really?” he asked with genuine surprise. You nodded and he handed it over with a smile. “Sure.”

With a small hum you tucked the picture into the inside pocket of your own jacket and the two of you continued on your walk. You had almost reached the museum which was a few blocks away from where several bombs had been deployed and destroyed several buildings including the bank building which had been a huge skyscraper of a building. It’s collapse created a barrier of destruction diagonally through City Center. It kept several quadrants from being able to access each other easily. What Baekhyun had said was true though, what you had all assumed was a bomb had tore through part of the art museum, opening an entire side to be drenched in sunlight.

Feeling lucky about not having seen anyone or anything so far on your trip the two of you had gotten a little reckless. Still quiet but strolling a little too casually down the sidewalk. Paying very little attention as you got closer and closer to your next destination. You were practically in the middle of the road when you dropped your gaze from where it had been, trying to decipher the shapes of the clouds. When you did you could see movement down the street ahead of you and paused. Your hand reached out and wrapped around Baekhyun’s wrist, stopping him as well.

He looked back at you concerned, “Something wrong?”

“Baek.” You whispered, “What are the chances anyone else was stupid enough to take a shortcut through City Center.”

“I think you mean what are the chances anyone else would have the genius idea to cut through City Center.” He scoffed.

“Shhh.” You hissed and pointed ahead to the figure that was moving casually from one side of the street to the other. Whoever or whatever it was seemed to be looking into the buildings before moving back across the street. It was looking for something, but with ease like it had all the time in the world to find it.

“What, you think that’s him?”

Your heart was racing in your chest. You weren’t sure how you knew it was him, you just did. Even if he was only a blip, a dark shape a handful of streets away, you knew it was Baddie. Looking around you realized the best bet was to try and make it to the museum and pray he passed you by. You only hoped Baekhyun was right, that because of the huge gaping hole in the roof, it wasn’t a den for Lurkers.

“The museum.” You said quietly and pushed him towards the building.

The glass doors in front had been smashed to dust so you ducked inside without too much of a hassle. The lobby was brightly lit with sunlight, no Lurkers in sight, and you tried to find somewhere you could hide while still having access to view the street.

“Desk!” You whispered hurriedly and Baekhyun followed you behind the long front desk where they used to sell entrance tickets.

“You really think that’s him? Did you get a good look? I could barely make out if it was even a human.” Baekhyun asked, peeking out over the desk and then ducking back down.

“I didn’t have to get a good look.” you muttered, “Just...I can’t explain it. I could feel him.”

“Jesus,” He put a hand on your shoulder, “You’re shaking, are you okay?”

You kept your eyes on the window and willed yourself not to cry from the terror tearing through your chest. “I’m fine.”

“What do you think he’s looking for?”

“I don’t know. More people to kill? Who cares?”

Baekhyun sighed behind you, “Maybe we should do something.”

“Yeah!” You snapped and turned around to hiss out a vicious, “We should shut the fuck up!”

His eyes went wide and he threw his hands up in surrender. Almost ten minutes passed. You were shaking with anxiety, your eyes glued to the window just ahead of you. It reflected another window in a way that allowed you to see part of the sidewalk in front of the next building over. Baekhyun sat beside you with a completely opposite demeanor. He almost looked bored. Over the wait he’d unpacked his entire backpack and repacked it. When he was done with that he started to spin his hefty hunting knife around his hand. There was almost a sense of relief that hit you when you could see Baddies reflection in the window. The anxiety of not knowing where he’d gone or where he was dispersed. Seeing him meant he was still a little ways away. You watched as he crossed the street, the faint sound of whistling made its way through the air.

“Do you hear that?” Baekhyun asked from where he was sitting next to your overly tense body.

You turned to him in complete disbelief and grabbed his face between your hands before mouthing, “Please. Shut. Up. You’re going to get us killed.”

“Okay!” He mouthed back, he looked genuinely scared of you.

You couldn’t help yourself. He didn’t understand. He hadn’t seen what you’d seen. He didn’t watch someone he knew get executed. He was going to get the two of you caught and if he did you only hoped that you got taken out first because you couldn’t stand to watch Baddie take someone else like that. Just the thought of him dragging Baekhyun out into the middle of the street made your stomach turn and your eyes rim with tears. You shook the thought from your head as the whistling got closer.

Goosebumps lined every inch of your skin as you recognized the song he was whistling. Tonight You Belong to Me. If you were a more optimistic individual you might assume that he was whistling the same tune because it’s the only one he’d known. Something dark inside you told you that wasn’t the case. It told you that he knew you were there and he was going to continue to torment you until the bitter end. The sound of glass under heels had you thinking that maybe that end would be coming sooner than later. He was in the building, he hadn’t gone into any of the others as far as you could tell. Why else would he wander in if not to kill you. Looking over you watched as Baekhyun’s fist tightened around the handle of his knife. He looked calm and steady, as if he was ready to attack if it was needed. There were much bigger things at hand to think about but you couldn’t help but feel impressed by how prepared he seemed, how unafraid. It surprised you in a weirdly pleasant way.  

As the footsteps grew closer you reached over and grabbed Baekhyun’s empty hand. He looked over at you a little surprised and then just gave your fingers a reassuring squeeze. You were quiet, barely breathing, as the sound of fingers tapping lightly against the countertop above your head joined the sound of Baddies eerie whistling. It stopped for a moment, the whistling, and he hummed thoughtfully before it started up again. Then the footsteps retreated and the sound of the song started to fade as well.

“I think he’s gone.” Baekhyun said after several minutes of silence.

You shook your head, still trembling. “He’s out there. He’s waiting for us to come out. I know he is.”

“Okay, stay here, I’ll just go check. I’ll go around the side and check out the window to see if the street’s clear.” He said calmly and got to his feet.

“No.” You said sternly, dropping his hand and grabbing the collar of his jacket before pulling him back down. “You don’t understand. He is out there and he will take you from me. Please, just trust me, we can’t go out there.”

With a tiny gulp he lifted his hand, brushing his fingers over your cheek as he pushed back the loose hair on your face. He kept his eyes locked with yours for a moment, his forehead creasing as he looked at you.

“You’re really scared aren’t you?” He asked, “I’m not used to seeing you so shaken.”

“I told you, I can’t explain it.” you whispered, your stomach already turning at just the idea of Baddie, the memory of how he looked at you. “I don’t know how I know. I know it sounds crazy. I just need you to believe me, we can’t go that way.”

“Okay.” He agreed and looked around the room you were in. “We can’t stay here though, we have to keep moving.”

Standing up for just a second he snatched a map of the building from the plastic holder on the desk and ducked back down. There was a hallway to the right side of the room that led into the gallery. Using that he found a path that would work in getting you out to 1st street which would take you straight out of City Center and into Quad Two.

“Y/n,” he said quietly and you looked back at him from where you’d been staring through the window. “I need you to trust me now. If we run into Lurkers, are you good to fight?”

“Yeah.” You nodded.

“We’re going to go through, like we planned.” he said and showed you the map, his finger tracing the path he wanted to take, “I’m almost a hundred percent sure that there is only a hallway right here that would have any darkness. It’s not enough space to hold too many Lurkers, but there might be some.”

You nodded again, this time a little more steady, “Okay.”

“Are you ready or do you want a minute?”

“I’m ready.” you whispered, and you were almost sure that you actually were.

Even if Baddie wasn’t in view the two of you still stayed low to the ground and close to the wall as you made your way to a hallway to the left. This part was still sunlit, a corridor made of windows that looked out to a large garden that housed different statues, a display of art all on it’s own. Just being down the hallway made you feel more at ease, and every step you took away from the main street calmed you further. As you walked together quietly you grabbed a quick blade as well as the hunting knife you kept attached to your backpack just in case. Reaching the end of the corridor you found a dark room. It looked pitch black in comparison to the brightly lit walkway. You could already hear the hissing from the Lurkers that waited in the darkness.

Baekhyun reached into the side pocket of his bag and grabbed two plastic packets and handed one to you. They were earplugs. Which would prove helpful if or when they started their piercing shrieking. Once the two of you were set you aimed your flashlight into the room. You signaled to him that there were two to the left and three to the right. You motioned for him to take the left and he rolled his eyes but ultimately agreed. Flashlight and hunting knife in one hand and blade in the other you made your way into the room. Baekhyun was close behind, flashlight in one hand and knife in the other. 

You didn't have the time to watch him as you threw your blade quickly into the throat of one of your three, but you also weren’t worried about him either. The second and third of your Lurkers were a little harder as they attempted to come at you at the same time. Luckily you’d been quick enough. Jabbing one in the between the eyes with your knife before ducking away from the one left over as it reached out for you. Their screams sounded soft, softer than they should have, even padded by the earplugs. Still you hoped that they didn’t attract Baddie as you threw your arm across your last Lurker, slashing the blade of your knife across it’s throat.  

“Baek!” you shouted as he cut down his last Lurker.

He looked over to you and you pointed across the room where seven more Lurkers were making their way inside through a dark hall. Your heartbeat quickened as you steadied yourself once more. Only two of them came in your direction, the rest towards Baekhyun. You tried not to worry too much, there wasn’t anything you could do about it anyway except deal with what was in front of you and then help him as soon as you could. In an effort to get to him faster you rushed the pair of Lurkers that were coming to you. You had them on the ground quicker than the last ones and you hurried back to where Baekhyun was. He still had four on him, most of his energy getting spent on trying to avoid attacks. You were able to catch one off guard, attacking it from the behind, which left three more. You could tell Baekhyun was tired and you started to worry as you caught the attention of one of the three.

It felt strange as you stood there, one of the Lurkers standing in front of you. It didn’t move, it didn’t go for the attack. It almost seemed like it was hesitating but you didn’t want to wait and find out why so you crossed your arm over your body, slicing it across the neck before turning back to Baekhyun who had taken down another Lurker as well. There was one left and he had his back to it as he tugged his blade from the skull of the monster at his feet. It had its arm above it’s head, sharp claws spread out for the attack. Without a second thought you threw yourself in front of Baekhyun, arms spread out to protect him from any blow. The Lurker stopped its attack for a moment, just like the other one, just long enough for Baekhyun to lift his arm out from under yours, piercing the beast through its throat with his blade. His other arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you back as the body fell forward at your feet.

The two of you stood there for a long moment. Your back pressed against his chest, his arm around your waist. You could feel his heart pounding in his chest against your back. That's how hard it was beating. After a minute he inhaled deeply and let you step away.

“Why would you do that?” He asked angrily, tearing the earplugs from his ears.  “You could have died.”

“You would have done the same for me.” You said, shaking it off as you pulled your earplugs out as well.

“It’s different.”

You looked over at him confused as to why he was so upset that you’d just saved his life instead of thanking you. “It would be okay if you died saving me, but it’s not okay for me to die saving you?”

“Exactly.” He wiped down his blade and put it back in its sheath while you picked up your backpack from where you’d dropped it and retrieved your blade from the first Lurker you’d taken down.

“Why?”

“Because. I would hate that.” He said simply, he grabbed his own bag and made his way down the next hallway.

The hallway was clear, likely any Lurkers that had been down there were the ones that showed up in the room. You didn’t say anything to Baekhyun about the Lurkers not attacking you. You weren’t sure what it meant or if it really even happened. Part of you thought maybe you’d just made it up. No matter what, you were sure the phenomenon wouldn’t last so you weren’t about to get comfortable with the idea anyway. Plus he was already mad at you and you wanted to give him a chance to calm down. So baffled by his attitude you weren’t even thinking about Baddie anymore.

Once down the hallway you were relieved to find that you’d made it to the main part of the museum. This was the part of the building that had been completely destroyed. The museum had been massive in size, taking up about half of an entire block on its own between the gardens and the actual building. The wing you found yourself in used to be four different areas separated by the types of art they kept. It had probably been during the military attack, but half of the roof had fallen in and the walls had collapsed as well turning it into one giant room and leaving the whole thing flooded in sunlight. It was a little sad, you could admit, seeing all of the art that had once been so well preserved fading from the sun, covered in dirt, or ruined with water damage.

You’d made it nearly all the way through the part that held the contemporary art pieces in complete silence. It was uncommon for him to be so quiet but Baekhyun walked steadily ahead of you without a single word. He looked like a man on a mission.

“You’re seriously mad at me for saving your life?” You called ahead.

“Nope.” He responded without even looking back at you. “Not anymore.”

“Then you’re just not going to talk to me for fun?”

“I’m busy.”

“With what?” You asked as you continued to hurry behind him towards a larger open area that held more, larger, modern and contemporary art pieces like sculptures and big installations.

He sighed, “I just have important business to take care of.”

“Business? What business?” you asked, confused.  

Finally he stopped his hurried pace and looked back at you with a grin, “I have a date with a horse.”

“What...the fuck?” you muttered as he turned back around and continued forward. Peeking over his shoulder at you with an amused look on his face he nodded ahead.

There you noticed a life size sculpture of a Clydesdale horse made out of old melted down silverware. It was a staple of the museum, you couldn’t believe you’d forgotten about it. It had been there for as long as you could remember, since before the first time you’d visited on an elementary school field trip. You watched Baekhyun as he dug his boot into the side of the horse and pulled himself up into the saddle.

“I’ve waited my whole life for this moment.” He said, chest puffed out proudly, “I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance.”

“What are you doing? Get down from there!” You scolded, “What if you break it?”

He laughed, “So what if I do, Y/n? What happens if I break it?”

“Then…” you hesitated.

What would happen if he broke a horse constructed out of old forks and knives? If it was just you and a handful of others at the end of the world did you really have to be so respectful of everything? Would it hurt to have a little fun instead of always sounding like some child's mother? In fact, you realized, it had been awhile since you’d truly had fun. And if the Community was really about to risk it all on this attack on Baddie shouldn’t you spend your last days enjoying what little time you had left? You looked up at Baekhyun who was sitting atop the horse with a gigantic smile, like he’d never been happier in his whole life.

He laughed again as he looked down at you, “You want to get on the horse, don’t you?”

“No…” you said quietly. He looked at you skeptically and you pointed across the vast room to a chair that was five times the size of a normal chair, “I want to sit in the chair.”

Baekhyun’s smile would have spread well past his face if it was possible and he slammed his fist against his thigh in excitement, “Yes! That’s what I want to see!”

With a laugh you hurried across the floor. You tossed your backpack up onto the seat and then climbed up the side of the chair. Easily twenty feet up, you could see almost everything in this part of the museum.

“How is it?” Baekhyun called out from his horse.

“I feel tiny.” You beamed, “I feel like Thumbelina. You should come up! It’s amazing.”

He climbed down from his silverware steed and made his way over to the chair slowly. You had him toss his bag up to you so he could climb up the side, and when he did he plopped next to you with a sigh.

“Cool.” He grinned, looking out across the room.

“Don’t you feel tiny?” You asked, crossing your legs in front of you as he nodded. “Do you think we can stay for a few minutes?”

He nodded again, “I think we can do whatever we want.”

Making yourself comfortable on the seat of the chair you opened up your backpack and pulled out your tape player. After a second of thought you switched out The Smiths tape with a tape of the Pixies and shoved one of the earbuds in your ear as you pushed play.

“Here,” you said, offering him the other earbud.

He accepted it with a small smile and tucked it into his ear so he could listen along with you. After a minute you reached into one of the pockets of your bag and pulled out a sucker and then a second one to offer Baekhyun as well. It was almost peaceful, sitting there together just listening to music and eating candy. You’d even let him get away with taking a couple pictures of you without much complaint. It wasn’t even until the first side of the tape had played in full and you had to turn it over that either of you said anything.  

“I know it’s selfish but please don’t ever risk your life like that for mine again.” Baekhyun requested quietly, almost shamefully.

“Why?” you joked, “You can’t live without me or something?”

He just shrugged, “Something like that.”

“You make a pact with Seul too?” he shook his head and you grew quiet as you thought about it. You thought about a dozen situations you might find yourself in where Baekhyun might be in trouble. Each and every time you knew you would jump in front of him. “Well, you know I can’t promise you that, right?”    

Looking over at you finally, he grinned, “What? You can’t live without me or something?”

“Maybe…” you laughed, “Something like that.”

Once the second side of the tape had played through and each of you had sucked down a second piece of candy you climbed down from the chair. You offered to take a picture of Baekhyun on his horse and he looked out of his mind with excitement. Before he would let you take it he dragged you through to the part of the museum where they kept the classic art and artifacts. You watched, half shocked and half excited, as he broke the glass on several of the protective cases.

He grabbed a tricorn hat that had been worn by some military sergeant, a long tailed coat, and a sword with a gilded handle. He looked ridiculous and you couldn’t have expected anything less from him. Just as you were ready to head back to the horse, he surprised you once more by slamming the handle of his sword into one last case and pulling out a victorian era coronation crown and dropping it on your head. He said you weren’t allowed to laugh at him if you looked silly too.

You took several pictures of him, each one a little more ridiculous than the last, but he was happy. Then the pair of you strolled around the empty museum in your priceless costumes a little bit longer. It was the most fun you’d had in a very long while. For most of it you hadn’t even thought about Baddie or Lurkers or the end of the world. Mostly you thought about the thrill of touching the art. The oil paintings, the sculptures, you had your hands on almost everything you walked passed. You also thought about jokes you could make about any weird or creepy art you saw so you could one up the stupid jokes Baekhyun was making. Even if he was making you laugh more than you could remember having laughed in years.

“Where do you think they are?” you asked after a stretch of comfortable silence between the two of you.

Baekhyun just shrugged, “Rendezvous, I hope. On the way at least.”

“They probably just took the long way around like Yeol had planned and that’s why we haven’t seen them.” You chewed on your lip anxiously. You hoped that everyone was okay, you prayed you’d see Seulgi again.

“That’s probably it.” He said quietly, “Listen, it’s getting a little late. I’m sorry, I don’t think we’re going to make it to Rendezvous until tomorrow. Maybe we should go though? Find a good place to bunker down for the night.”

“Sure. Can’t hide here forever, right?” You asked with a sigh. “Like a coward.”

“No,” he laughed, “because you’re not a coward...like at all.”

“Sometimes I wish I was.”

“No you don’t.” he scoffed. “If you weren’t fearless you wouldn’t be able to prove everyone wrong all the time and that’s your favorite thing to do.”

You grinned as the two of you continued your private tour through the museum. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Yeah, definitely. I know because it’s usually me you’re trying to prove wrong.”

“It’s not my fault you’re easy to prove wrong.”

“Hey!” He exclaimed and hurried a little bit ahead of you, “Hey, who am I?”

You looked over to see him standing with his chest puffed out, a stern look on his face, and his hand in a fist against his chest. He was also standing in front of a portrait of a man in a matching military uniform in the same pose.

You stepped up beside the ancient looking oil painting and said, “Holy Roman Emperor Joseph the second, Archduke of Austria. King of the Romans, Hungary, Croatia, and Bohemia. 1780, oil on canvas.”

“No. That’s wrong.” Baekhyun frowned and shook his head in disappointment. Pointing his thumb to the portrait he said, “I was this guy.”

“That’s who that guy is.”

“Ehhh.” He shrugged, “You’re just making things up so you don’t feel stupid.”

With a groan you grabbed the sleeve of his jacket and pulled him along. “Come on, dummy. We’re losing daylight.”

“Yes, your highness.” He followed with a snort of laughter. He always thought he was so funny.

“What?” You turned to say something snarky and then remembered the crown on your head. “Oh.”

Exiting the museum brought you into another garden. You watched as Baekhyun peeled off the pieces of his borrowed costume and placed them on statues that you passed on your way out. As you reached the end of the garden and stood in a now overgrown courtyard you found a steel statue of a little girl jumping rope and placed the crown on her pigtailed head.

“The kingdom is yours, Princess.” you sighed, “Take care of her.”

“I’m keeping the sword.” Baekhyun declared as he opened the gate that led out to the street that bordered quadrant Two and you stepped out onto the sidewalk.

“As long as you carry what you keep.” You shrugged. “Doesn’t bother me.”

The two of you went up several blocks wanting to get as far away from City Center as you possibly could, still under the belief that Baddie was hanging around there. The sun hadn’t quite started to set but Baekhyun had been right, there was no way you were making it to Rendezvous. Your best bet was to find somewhere to stay the night and Baekhyun seemed to think he knew the perfect place. He wouldn’t tell you where he was thinking just that he’d stayed there before. As you walked you tried to think of different places uptown but it had been awhile since you’d visited. You knew the jewelry store was in Quad One, but you couldn’t think of what he might have in mind until you actually saw it in front of you.  

“The galleria, Baek?” you asked as you followed him to the building that had barely been standing even before the invasion. “How very ‘Dawn of the Dead’ of you… We’re definitely never getting out of here alive.”

He pulled one of the doors open for you, though the glass was completely removed from the frame and you could have easily walked straight through. “A little faith please, my lady.”

Tugging the straps of your backpack tight, you walked through the door. The door led you through to the main entrance of the shopping plaza. It was built in the eighties and everything about it’s interior reflected that to this very day. The walls were aquablue and the tiles on the floor were a pastel pink. Even though it was visually ancient, before the invasion it was a hub of social activity. You used to spend entire summers under its glorious glass roof when you were a teenager. Slurping down smoothies and flirting with boys that were way too old for you. Or going to the movie theatre and skipping from one movie to the next with a backpack full of snacks until you’d seen every summer blockbuster it had to offer for the price of one.    

Now the glass roof was mostly shattered, almost every single panel smashed to bits like it had been through one of those superhero movie fight scenes you would have watched. This just meant that the entire place was filled with sunlight. The food court and the first floor shops all sat a few feet below ground level. There was a set of stairs and a ramp that would lead you down to it or there had been anyway. The first floor was now completely flooded after years of rain and no proper drainage system. It made for a disgusting, cesspool looking lake of stagnant water. To the left standing bolt upright out of the water was the old elevator. A tube of tempered glass wrapped around with a golden rail. To the right, accessible by a small platform that overlooked the food court was the staircase. Unfortunately it had been destroyed between the first and second floors. A whole chunk of it smashed into pieces on the ground below making the upper floors seemingly inaccessible.

“What are we doing here again?” you asked. The first floor was completely flooded, the second and third inaccessible. You felt you should probably start looking to an actual place to stay for the night.

“She is not what she appears.” he said and grabbed your hand.

He walked you over to the platform that led to the busted staircase and stood in front of the glass railing that overlooked the mass of stagnant water.

“Don’t know if you noticed, but there’s nowhere to go from here.”

Turning he placed a finger over your lips. “Shhhh. Just follow me. Step exactly where I step.”

He threw one of his legs over the railing that circled the platform and balanced himself on the narrow edge on the other side of the glass. Bringing his other leg over as well left him hanging precariously over the water below. Scooting down a bit so you could do the same he looked up at you expectantly.

“If I fall in and get like a staph infection and die. That’s on you.”      

“Then step where I step.” He smiled, and nodded towards the railing, “Clocks ticking. Sun’s setting.”

With genuine uncertainty coursing through you, you threw your leg over the railing. Once you were also hanging over the water, Baekhyun began to shuffle along the railing until he was behind the staircase and was able to leap over to a massive, long planter that acted as a wall between the food court and the first floor shops. Once it was your turn you froze. Looking behind you at the distant planter and down at the disgusting black water you shook your head.

“I can’t. I won’t make it.”

“You’ll make it.” he assured you.

“I won’t..I don’t want to. I can’t.” you said as your arms started to shake and you worried you were going to fall right into the water anyway.

“Wow.” he said surprised, “Never heard you say ‘I can’t’ before.”

Tightening your grip on the rail you looked at him with a glare. You took a deep breath and looked again between where you were and the planter. Darting your arm out you said, “Give me your hand.”

“Alright.” he grinned and reached out his hand with his long soft fingers, and wrapped it tightly around yours and you squeezed back just as tight. “What now?”

“Now if I fall, you fall too.” you smiled, “So you better help me get across.”

With a small laugh and a shake of his head he leveraged his foot against the inner edge of the planter and looked up at you, “Ready when you are.”

Without much thought you leapt backwards, turning your body as you moved over the water. As you jumped Baekhyun tugged your hand towards him. It was a blinks worth of time before you were crashing into his chest and he was falling backwards. His eyes grew wide as he felt himself lose his footing, nervous he was going to fall into the water on the other side of the narrow planter. Stabling yourself you pulled him back until he was chest to chest with you.  

“You saved me. My hero.”

You groaned and pushed him away lightly, “I hate you.”

“Love you too.” he winked and made his way through the soft soil of the planter.

You followed along, still not entirely sure where the hell he was taking you. The planter ended after the length of the food court but it was surrounded by water on all sides. It was an island and you had hopped on from the only spot that was relatively reachable. As you continued behind him you realized you’d always assumed the plants in the planter had been fake, plastic or fabric. Synthetic in one way or another. However it was clear from the overgrowth that they were very real, and also thriving with the water from the flooding. Walking down the narrow planter, pushing your way passed whatever long branched and thick leafed plants these were felt like making your way through the thick of a rainforest.

Baekhyun took you about two-thirds of the way down until, immediately across from you, was the elevator. He looked over the water like he was looking for something specific. You had no idea what he could possibly hope to see through the murky darkness, you hoped it wasn’t for anything alive. Without a word to you he stepped forward into the water. You gasped, watching wide-eyed. He didn’t crash through like you thought he would, he just stood there on top of the surface of the water.  

“Jesus?” you whispered.

Turning back to you he held out his hand, “Come with me child.”

“Baek...really, I don’t possess your holy abilities.”

With a hefty laugh he tapped his foot against the water, “It’s a table. Seriously though, step exactly where I step, nowhere else. I can’t promise what will happen otherwise.”

Reaching forward you grabbed his hand. As he stepped forward you stepped where he had been. The table wobbled beneath your feet and you let out a whimper of unease. In an instant you felt queasy. You groaned as he kept pulling you forward, one wobbly table to the next.

“Oh no, I do not like this.” you mumbled, squeezing his fingers until he thought he might lose a few due to lack of blood flow.

He just chuckled, “I swear to you it’s fine. I’ve done this a dozen times.”

“When?” you asked skeptically. Then, unable to cage your unexpected jealousy you asked, “With who?”

A smile tugged at his lips as he kept his eyes on the water at his feet. “I wasn’t with anyone.”

“You just came and explored the abandoned galleria on your own? Enough times to find some weird Hidden Temple path to...where are we going?” you asked so distracted you’d stopped paying attention to the unstable tables you were using as stepping stones.

“On an adventure, Y/n! Can’t you appreciate the thrill of adventure?” he asked enthusiastically.

You scoffed, “The thrill of trying to survive an alien occupation not enough for you, Baek? Actually… that’s not that surprising.”

“Yeah well it worked out for me. Watch your step here, the bar is unstable for a bit but she’ll hold.” he said as you reached the elevator and the gold metal piping decor that surrounded the glass that housed the deceased machine.

You stood behind him on the last table and watched as he stepped onto the part of the pipe that was lower, near your feet. His hands reached up and grabbed the part of the pipe that was above his head, He was just barely able to get his fingers around the curve of the pipe.

“If you can barely reach that, I definitely can’t reach that high.”

He paused and hummed. You could see the moment the idea clicked in his head. Reaching one hand down to his waist, he started to unbuckle his belt.

“Uh...Baek.”

“Y/n, try and remain professional please.” he bit his lip as he tugged the belt from the loops on his pants. Then he hooked the belt over the top bar and handed you the straps to use as a handle.

“Truly an innovator,” you said genuinely impressed as you were able to comfortably pull yourself up next to him.

The two of you circled around the elevator twice and had already gotten pretty high. Looking down to where you’d come from froze you in place. Your stomach grew woozy and your head started to spin. Not realizing you’d stopped Baekhyun had to slide back down the railing to get you. He grabbed your chin, turning your face back up to his.

“Yeah, protip, don’t look down.” he smiled and you nodded, still a little dazed, before continuing to follow him.  

“You said this worked out for you before. What does that mean?” you asked in an effort to distract yourself.

“What? Oh right!” He exclaimed. “Remember like three months ago when I didn’t come back to camp for almost a week?”

“Yeah.”

“Of course you do. You were heartbroken at the thought of losing me. Inconsolable. Crying constantly through the nights, ‘Oh Baekhyun, please come home! I never got to tell you how much I love you! How much I need you! Oh, Baekhyun’.”

“I never cried. We’ve lost too many people to keep crying every time we lose someone else. I only did for Hyunwoo because...because I had to watch it.” you muttered. Baekhyun stopped and looked at you dead in the eye and straight faced.

“You could lose a hundred more people and never shed a tear but if you ever lost me it would break your heart. I know this because I never cry over anyone anymore either but if I lost you, it would destroy me.” he paused and then smiled, “Well, you and Chanyeol.”

“Oh god.” you rolled your eyes as he laughed and moved on but you took an extra moment. Something about what he’d said had you shook. A feeling in your gut agreed with him. If you didn’t have Baekhyun you wouldn’t have anything to keep going for.

“...But you’ll never have to worry about that because I’m not going anywhere.” he was saying a little struggled as he reached an opening to the third floor landing and stretched out his leg and then pulled himself over. “Anyway, this is where I stayed that whole week.”

He helped you to the landing and you looked around eyeing all the dark shops, suspicious of Lurkers. “And it’s safe?”

“Lurkers can’t get up here. A ton of them followed me into the building that first night. They won’t touch the water and they don’t have the patience or the ability to do it the way we did. YOU CAN BE AS LOUD AS YOU WANT!” he screamed, his voice echoing through the entire galleria. “Even at night. Surprisingly the water still runs up here and it’s clean. Only on the third floor though not the second, must be running through different pipes I guess. The food situation is pretty meh. Mostly just snacks.”

“You’ve impressed me today.” you said eyeing the different shops.

“Actually, I’m really glad I got to bring you here. I’ve wanted to take you for awhile...I think you’d really like...here I’ll just show you.” he grabbed your hand and dragged you around the entire third floor until you were practically on the opposite side of where you were and stood you in front of a darkened store.

You looked at him curiously and then grabbed your flashlight, turning it on as you stepped inside. Tears of joy sprung into your eyes at the sight before you. Face masks, chapsticks, soaps, and lotions.

“You’ve been here a thousand times and never thought to tell me?” you asked walking over to one of the displays and grabbing one of the masks.

“Okay, so in fairness to me…” he began, “There is a toy store that we passed on the way here, not sure if you noticed. I don’t usually make it past there. I only found this place for the first time the very last time I was here. I did want to bring you something back but I also didn’t want you to think I was trying to hint that you needed a better skin care routine, you know? You’re already so beautiful.”

You barely heard him as you applied, probably too much, chapstick to your lips and pocketed several other tubes.

“And look! I know we can’t get you a real bathtub but,” he moved quickly to the display window and bent down. When he came back he was holding a quarter sized bathtub filled with loofahs which he dumped on the ground, “foot bath!”

“Baek..” you said quietly, dropping the face mask you’d been holding onto one of the shelves and moved towards him.

“Please don’t be mad at me.” he begged.

“Baekhyun,” you said again and wrapped your arms around him, resting your head on his shoulder, “thank you.”

“Oh.” he wrapped his arms around you, surprised by the reaction. “You’re welcome. You should know though, it comes at a cost.”

You leaned out of the embrace and looked up at him, “A cost?”

“There are lightsabers in the toy store. They make noise and light up. I’m going to need you to battle me later.”

You laughed and his eyes lit up at the sight, “How could I expect anything less?”