#its like everyone grew up knowing how much each other was handling

[aceyanaheim]

Obssessed with how many of the Gallaguers fights and dysfunction comes from just how little they know of each other WHILE being the main people in each other’s lives/the people who know each other the best.

[m-ilkiee]

Monsters: Mikey Sano x Reader x Izana Kurokawa

Chapter 1: Warning Signals

series summary: your grievous sin was Emma standing up for you to her brothers. and now you’re going to pay the heavy price for destroying their perfect family dynamic.

chapter summary: being friends with Emma Sano is nice, until you get on the wrong side of the Sano brothers.

content warning: DARK CONTENT, NSFW, misogyny, alcohol/drug use, brief mention of violence, religious and purity culture themes, classism, slutshaming, p*rn mention, sexual assault, noncon, public initimacy, fingering (fem recieving), dacryphilia, gaslighting, manipulation, mention of vomitting, victim blaming.

r-18+ (not suitable for 17 and under)

word count: 10.1k words

note: this chapter has been edited and the storyline shifted to the original plan for the series. consequent chapters 2-5 will follow suit and vastly vary from the og series i posted before.

{masterlist} {chapter2} {taglist}

KNOWING how big both the TENJIKU and TOMAN fraternities were on campus, it was a bit awkward being friends with the youngest sister of two of the most popular guys in this school.

Any where you two went, she would always be the center of attention. You didn't really mind being in her shadow because as long as you have her, you’ll be fine. People called you a lost puppy, riding on Emma’s cocktails just to get by in university.

They didn’t know how you both have self-care days where you would paint your nails, wear facial masks and watch “Mean Girls” or “Clueless” on her laptop because you weren’t allowed to watch it when you were young. Or how the both of you always have study dates with hot coffee and exchanging annotated notes so that you both remain at the top of your game. They don’t know about the secrets you both share and the trust you both have for each other.

You don’t have to explain anything to anyone.

Emma is a pretty satisfied girl. Her college tuition is paid for in full and her time here has always been smooth. As far as you knew, she grew up being loved by all three of her brothers and they doted on her to the point she thinks they spoiled her.

-You don’t think they spoiled her -okay maybe a little with the way she spends money, but everyone has a vice. Right?

You could tell she knew what familial love is with how sweet and kind she was to you when you opened up about your family troubles.

The only issue is that her two brothers, Mikey and Izana, have been at each other's necks for some years now. Mostly Izana inciting violence at Mikey and Mikey retailiating; it’s the number one concern in the Sano household the way those two fight and argue.

From what Emma told you, Izana’s provocative nature was the gasoline to Mikey’s volatile mental state, akin to fire. Even the littlest of things that no one would bat an eye for could incite a bloody brawl between them. And as they grew older, more people were involved in their petty rivalry, since neither Emma nor Shinichiro agreed to take their side.

Despite the looming hostility, Mikey decided to throw in the towel and agree for a truce. At first, Emma couldn’t believe it. Until two weeks had passed and they hadn’t fought.

"They haven't gotten along at a stretch like this, I tell ya!" Emma had said excitedly while selecting what she would wear that day. You let out a small smile as she tossed multiple clothes on her large bed. Being the youngest had its perks, like how her oldest brother, Shinichiro paid for her to have the biggest room in one of the dorms all to herself.

You heard that on the front, he had one of the biggest Motorcycle brands and behind all of that, his real business was handling the black dragons, one of the biggest gangs in Japan.

You wonder how Emma feels about her brothers' lifestyle, but judging from her huge wardrobe and expensive jewelry, you don't think it bothers her too much.

Not like you cared either. To you, she was just Emma. Nothing more or less.

The blonde haired girl swiftly turns to you with two options in her hand, a pink sequined dress and a white halter crop top and a pink mini skirt with ruffles at the bottom. "I need to look really good today, which one says 'I'm so happy my brothers are not at each other's necks for once?' " She asked animatedly.

You've never seen her this happy since you met her, unless Draken was involved and somehow it made you happier too. It must be nice to be so close to your family members all the time and be able to mend your relationship with them.

You've never had that. You don't think of your family much. You don't wish to either, ever since your father cursed you out for rejecting a marriage proposal from one of his friends to pursue higher education and your mother stayed quiet, complicit -all the while silently seething that all her training went down the drain. The first time you ever went against their old fashioned ideals after years of obedience was met with immediate punishment.

Ironic.

You don’t regret it, though. Because you wouldn’t have met Emma.

"The second one is a better choice." You said with a smile, gazing at her with adoration in your eyes. “The skirt ruffles makes your legs look good. Pair it with the white strap heels and you’re good.”

The blonde broke out into a wider grin, the clothes pooling at her sides as she rested a hand on her hips. “Look at you giving me fashion advice.” She teased lightheartedly. “I feel like a proud mother growing up!”

“I learned from the best.”

You both fall into a comfortable silence and you take that time to admire her. You’ve always thought Emma was gorgeous, from her bright smile, to the twinkling of her eyes when she’s mischievous, to her enthusiasm for life in general. It was a no-brainer that guys would gravitate towards Emma and try their luck into dating her. Eventually the threat of her brothers or the threat of her equally terrifying friends with benefits who just happened to be the vice president of Toman, Ken Ryugi, would be enough to back off.

You wished you were as likeable and as beautiful as she was. You were always too shy to do anything or talk to people, let alone guys that you liked.

“So have you picked your outfit for the party?”

You’re snapped out of the trance-like state to see Emma standing in front of you, her body so close, you could smell her vivienne westwood. “Me?” You asked her, your tone laced with confusion. “I don’t think I’m gonna go.”

“And why is that?”

You paused, trying to organize your thoughts on how to break this to her without ruining her mood tonight. “I don’t think…” you took a deep breath before saying. “Your brothers would want me there.”

There’s a shift in her look, so minor but you could pick out the way her smile faltered. You both knew that her brothers could be… weird around you. It was something Emma couldn’t understand for the life of her.

Izana was usually very displeased with your presence and makes it very well known he doesn't want you there with snide remarks and forgetting your own order. His friends, for the fear of him, wouldn't speak to you either. It took Emma angrily yelling at him for him to be civil towards you. But the second she turned her back, Izana would go back to his usual self, being rude and peppering it with little acts of violence like pushing your hand so that your drink spilled all over the floor and even pushed your laptop bag to the ground, destroying the device you saved money to buy for months.

Mikey was on the other end of the spectrum. He would ignore your very presence and talk to everyone else but you and the rest followed suit. You’ve tried to at least make small talk with him, anything but he would talk over you. You heard from other people that he’s the nice brother and he’s usually so easy going- you’ve seen it with your very eyes the way he interacts with Emma’s other friends, Hinata and Senju.

And it hurts you. You’ve had a crush on him for so long, longer than you even knew Emma, so you don’t understand why he’s acting so differently with you. Seeing him talk with other girls sweetly makes you green with envy, wishing that it was you. Craving for just a piece of his attention.

Maybe he just doesn't like shy girls.

Only some guy named Takemitchi would try and explain that they don't hate you. It was surprising, considering that you knew people like Hakkai - whom you attended the same confirmation class and high school with- and even he made no effort to at least speak with you whenever you came to the frat house or met on the road.

You stopped bothering to make either of the Sano brothers like you, so long as they let Emma keep hanging out with you. It was obvious that they hold some animosity for you when you’ve done nothing to them.

“Nonsense!”

Before you could say anything, Emma pulled you up by your arm and dragged you off the bed towards her closet. “That’s a load of bullshit. There’s no way I’m leaving my best friend to rot in her room when there’s a Sano party going on.”

“But-”

“Nope!” She cut you off stubbornly, before pulling out some clothes from her closet, trying to match them with your skin tone. Satisfied with the outfit she picked, she puts the clothes in your arms and practically shoves you into her bathroom.

“EMMA-”

“Don’t Emma me, (name). You’re going to take a shower and by the time you’re out, I should be back with a makeup kit that suits you.” You tried to speak again but she silenced you by pressing a finger on your lips. “We’re going to be the hottest girls at that party, whether they like it or not.”

“But these look very short-”

“Sorry, can’t hear you, bye!”

You sighed when Emma shut the bathroom door in your face, locking it so that you would do what she said.

There was no winning with Emma when she made her mind up. Might as well follow through with it.

YOU had no idea how big this party would be.

You've come to the Toman frat house before with Emma to see Mikey and Draken once, and admired how large and spacious the three story building was. Now imagine that large of a space being cramped up with nearly the whole school's population.

Somewhat, you’re grateful that the outfit Emma lent you was as short as it was. The house was so hot, you could faint from how stuffy it was.

You hold on tightly onto Emma's hand, intertwined with each other as the both of you push through the big crowd, ignoring the sweaty, drunk students as you headed for the stairs. She, being used to parties like this, was able to navigate through the raging crowd with some form of ease.

After a few more squeezes, you both finally make it to the stairs.

As you both climbed up, you could see different people, all having fun in their own way. You're rarely invited to parties, so this was still more of a nouveau experience for you. A girl is asking for a light, a tiny blunt in between her teeth until another person lights it up for her. You see some guy shotgunning another girl, before melting into a hot kiss, tongue melding with each other. Someone else is drowning shot after shot and a couple is practically dry humping for everyone to see, a poor excuse to dance with the music.

The obscene sight surprisingly doesn’t disgust you, knowing your background, it just makes you curious. How would it feel to try one of those things? Smoking? Drinking? Making out with someone? Emma had told you about her own experiences; as long as you took it easy, it could be fun. Her first time with anything was with Draken and he was always gentle with her, plus her brothers were fine with it, even making sure whatever she took wasn’t laced with anything.

However, you were taught differently. That your body is a temple that you should keep clean for God and doing any of these things will sully you.

You didn’t believe that as much as you did when you were younger, but you didn’t want to test your luck either in case it ended up being true. Besides, you would look like a complete moron if you tried anything with them.

You tried as much as possible not to make it obvious that you're staring, but that failed when you caught the attention of a tall silhouette smoking. Sharp golden eyes stared you down and you instantly looked away, not wanting to get in trouble with some random guy.

You've heard rumors about Toman or Tenjiku guys absolutely beating anyone up for just staring at them wrong. You don't want to be victim number seventy-five this year.

Finally, you both reached your destination; a room on the second floor where Mikey had asked Emma to meet him. The ground floor was always the place where non-members stayed, trashed and partied. The first is accessible to all members of Toman (and now, Tenjiku) to hang out, have a private party and smoke. The second floor is only for executives and their girls or sisters.

You're a bit worried for yourself as Emma spoke to the person guarding the door. Mikey never said YOU could come along with Emma. You're no executive. You're no girlfriend of their executives and you are definitely not related to any of them. You had told Emma to leave you on the ground floor but she insisted that no one would be angry with your presence.

You've suspected that Emma has been trying to hook you up with someone in either of the fraternities. She was always insistent that you at least get to know them.

"(Name) come on."

Without waiting for your protest, Emma yanked you into the rather pristine room that housed the executives. Your eyes drank in the sight briefly, thanking God that it wasn't filthy or smelly as you had imagined it. The execs were all playing a game of poker, with an orange haired girl -Hinata Tachibana, his girlfriend, perched on Takemitchi's lap, laughing at his bad luck.

Emma's eyes quickly scanned around the room for a brief moment until she saw her two brothers sitting side by side, both engrossed in the game. Mikey’s blonde hair is tousled, like he’s been running his hand through it repeatedly. His baggy white shirt is unbuttoned half way and slips down his shoulder, revealing a black tank top and large jean trousers. Izana is different, white hair falling across his handsome face, leather jacket discarded on the back rest of the chair, leaving him in only a tight red shirt and tighter leather jeans, various chains and accessories hanging from his neck. Two earrings dangle from his ears- you can’t remember the name or significance.

‘They’re really good looking. Really-’

Without a warning, she lets go of your poor arm and jumps on top of Mikey and Izana, tackling them into a hug. Cards fly as she squeezes them hard, to which they discard their initial anger of losing their deck and hugging her back.

"Emma, next time give us a warning, will you?" Mikey pouted. You thought it looked cute, but immediately discarded that stupid thought. The guy hates your guts, don’t think he’s hot. "You ruined my game."

"As if you weren't losing dipshit." Izana teased, his face more relaxed than you’re used to seeing. "She did you a favor. You were down to 100 chips."

"You were down to 50. Who's the loser?"

"Still you."

You could see a smile tug at the corner of her lips lift up as she stands up. "Finally glad that two of you aren't strangling each other for once." She said triumphantly, hands on her hips. Her voice has a pep to it. "Last time both of you were in the same room, it didn't end well."

"Doesn't mean I'm not thinking about it." Izana scoffed. Suddenly, his purple eyes left his sister's face and trailed onto you who just stood a few feet away, awkwardly. You watched in real time as his smile fell, his features darkening the moment he locked gazes with you.

Dear God.

"What is SHE doing here?"

His harsh tone made everyone in the room shift their attention towards you. Your blood ran hot with embarrassment, feeling Izana’s purple eyes scan you up and down in disgust while everyone else just looks at you. Mikey’s gaze burned holes into you as well, silently asking you what the fuck you were doing here.

It was obvious. They never wanted you here. This entire thing was a mistake from the beginning.

"I-I'm glad I could walk with you all the way here, Emma" you stuttered, lying through your teeth. You didn't like the way both brothers were staring at you, like they could walk over to you and wring your neck at any moment. "I'll go join the party downstairs now, so I guess I'll see you soon-"

Pulling away from her brothers abruptly, the blonde girl rushed over to you and grabbed your arm, halting your attempt at running away as she dragged you back in place. You cursed underneath your breath at Emma’s desperate attempt to try to get you to stay.

“Hold on, now (name). I’ll talk to them�� Emma whispered reassuringly, before turning to her brothers and increasing her voice in full volume. "She's here with me, is there a problem?”

There was a tense silence in the room as everyone stared at you. Mikey's tone was ice cold as he directed his angry gaze at you, dark eyes scanning down your body. You shuddered when his gaze settled on your legs just briefly before snapping back at Emma’s face.

"Emma. When I sent you that text, I specifically said you should come ALONE."

You felt your heart twist in your chest at the emphasis of that word from none other than Mikey. He really hated you.

"Come on Mikey. This is ridiculous." Emma plead your case. You don't realize you're shaking until your friend squeezed your hand gently in an attempt to calm you down and you squeezed back, wanting this to be over as soon as possible. "Why would I leave her downstairs?"

"Because that’s where all the beggars like her stay."

Your eyes widened the second the words left his mouth, Emma following suit at his words. The shock was soon replaced by embarrassment as Izana looked at you with a devious smile on his face, continuing his verbal assault. "What? I was just making an astute observation. You did say she was poor, so am I really wrong?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you Izana-”

“Wait-” Mikey cuts in again, holding a hand to silence her, his eyes fixated onto your outfit, the wheels in his brain turning as he scanned your clothes from head to toe. You suddenly felt naked in the simple white top and jean skirt you wore, as he actually looked at you properly for the first time.

Your shyness is quickly short lived as his facial expression morphed from one of neutrality to nothing but pure rage.

“Is that the jean skirt I bought for you, Emma?”

Your heart dropped at how loud he barked, completely silencing everybody in the room. All eyes fell on you now, putting you at the center stage of attention. Emma quickly pushed you behind her, trying to shield you from their staring the moment she realized what was about to happen.

“Mikey, wait, I was the one who insisted she should wear it, not her.” Emma started to explain, her tone apologetic. “She had nothing to wear and i gave her those since you complained she dressed like a nun-”

“So you decided to dress her up like a cheap hooker instead?” Izana scoffed nonchalantly, his eyes flickering over to your outfit. “You know your clothes looks so cheap and washed out on her. She looks like she stands on the streets and asks for sex in exchange for money.”

"Izana!”

Emma started to reprimand her brother when Mikey cut in again to join Izana in practically insulting you. “Come on Emma, look at your friend. One wrong move and she’ll flash her panties. Don’t you think she’s looking a bit too desperate?”

Your hand flies to the edge of your skirt, dragging it down to try and cover up your legs as the gazes of the men leering at your legs. It doesn’t go unnoticed by Mikey, who is quick to point it out. “See? Even your friend knows she looks like a hooker. She’s trying to pull your skirt down because she knows she’s guilty...”

Each word seemed to stab you in the heart multiple times. You quickly averted your eyes to the ground as he continued to berate you about your looks, tearing down your confidence bit by bit with each word until you're reduced into nothing but nerves and silent tears. Everyone was staring at you now, scrutinizing gazes drinking in the sight of your exposed flesh, snickering quietly.

Unwanted attention.

"Next time, she shouldn't dress like this if she wants to tag along with you…"

“THAT IS ENOUGH."

Emma’s voice rang through the entire room, anger evident in her tone. The two brothers sat there in silence, stunned at the kind of tone Emma had just used on them right now, as if they’ve never heard or seen her this angry in their life before. You could feel her tremble violently, her grip on your hand tightening as fury radiated from her body.

You were sure she’s holding back things to say with how badly she is shaking. Like she doesn’t want to say anything that she might regret saying. She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it immediately, as if biting her words back.

"We're leaving."

“EMMA-”

“Oh come ON-”

Emma threw an arm around you and guided you out of the room amidst her brothers yelling at her to come back. Your friend is gentle with you, hiding your teary face from prying eyes as she leads you through the stairs. The loud music was enough to mask your uncontrolled sobbing, but it didn’t stop people with prying eyes from turning their gazes towards you, wondering what the hell happened to you.

You had never felt this embarrassed in your life. As much as Emma tried to comfort you on your way to her room, their words kept on reverberating in your head. You knew how hard it was to get out of that mindset and now, every confidence you worked for, has crashed down like a pile of cards. Even the way they looked at you made you feel so sick to your stomach.

You've been drilled into as a young child that you're dressed the way you're addressed and because of that, you have always made sure you looked modest enough. You were used to your brothers calling innocent girls whores because of what they wore, that they were asking for it.

And now witnessing it first hand just made you feel so dirty. From the way they looked at you, to how they spoke about your body. It made you ill to the core.

You’ve never been so humiliated in your life.

The two of you managed to walk back to Emma's room, since hers was closer. Her phone never stopped buzzing all through your journey, even when you got back to her room. You could see the pain in her eyes as she ignored each call, only worsening your guilt. You wished you had stayed back in the dorms instead of ruining her night; she was supposed to be having fun, not walking you back to your room prematurely because you couldn’t take criticism.

"You should pic-"

"No (name)." Emma was quick to assert as she helped you lay down on her queen sized bed, the soft surface. "You don't need to feel pity for them, you're the one they hurt, not the other way around."

You wanted to protest when she fell on the bed beside you, yanking her covers over you both and encasing you in a hug. "You don't have to worry about them. I just want you to feel better." She whispered in your ears, rubbing your back gently. "You looked good tonight."

You could only nod in response at Emma's affirmation, wanting to so badly believe her. You want to believe what Emma thinks about you but you just can’t when you feel like abject filth. Your lips began to wobble, tears rolling down your cheeks once again as their words rang in your ears.

Months of unpacking that trauma, flushed down the drain by a single action.

Emma didn't say anything in response to your fresh tears, she only hugged you tight and rubbed circles on your back to soothe you until you cried yourself to sleep.

   “YOU implied that she’s a fucking prostitute Mikey, what the hell did I misunderstand?”

You woke up with a start on hearing Emma’s harsh tone echo throughout the room.

You opened your eyes groggily, rolling the covers down a little bit to see what was going on. She was standing at the open door, changed into her pink nightgown, her hair cascading down her shoulder as she argued with someone in the hallways. You push the covers a little further to see who she was talking to, catching a glimpse of a blond haired male standing in the hallways, blocking the only source of light filtering into the room with his body.

“Don’t yell at me, I’m still your older brother.”

‘Mikey?’

You perk up at his voice, instantly awake hearing his irritated tone. What was Mikey even doing in the female dorms by this time of the night? You glance at Emma’s sanrio clock on her nightstand that reads 00:00am. By now, no male student is supposed to be here, but knowing how influential Mikey is, he might have bribed the security to let him in.

His quiet sigh interrupted your thoughts and you turned your attention back to them, wondering what was going on. He started talking again, taking a tone much softer than before. “You’ve changed Emma. You blow me off to spend time with a stranger-”

“She is not a strang-”

“She is to me. You have enough friends Emma, what do you need this one for? What’s so fucking special about her?” His voice grows harsh again as he goes off a tangent about you. “You’re gonna get tired of her Emma. She’s a new thing but sooner or later you’ll get sick of her.”

Your heart broke at Mikey’s words. Is that what he thinks of you? This was supposed to be the easy going guy on campus that helped girls cross the street and everyone liked?

What did you ever do to him?

“Stop it!” Emma hissed underneath her breath, trying to keep her voice down but drive her point across simultaneously. “Stop talking about (name) like she’s a pet or a fucking toy Mikey. I care for her and I won’t stand you talking shit about her.”

“Em for fuck sake, just get dressed and get your ass back to the party.” Your jaw nearly dropped at how he’s quick to switch topics, ignoring what she just said. “Draken’s waiting downstairs and Izana’s gonna be pissed if you don’t come back.”

“You’re gonna ignore everything I just said right now, huh?”

“Em-”

“You and Izana can go fuck yourselves.”

“You can’t be seriou-”

Emma didn’t let him finish when she slammed the door in his face, turning the key as fast as possible. Her body sagged on the door, a quiet ‘god’ escaping her lips. Her silhouette stayed in that position for two full minutes before she walked to the bed again.

In silence, she laid beside you, wrapping an arm around your body and dragging the blankets over you both once again. You felt safe.

   THE next few days after the party were eventful.

Emma had spent them with you, hanging out in the library to study and going to your work place after a hard day at school, just sitting and talking with you when there was no customer around. You ended up in your dorm room or hers afterwards, eating the snacks you both got from shops around the school.

It was nice. Emma was usually busy with other things, so having her with you all the time seems so perfect. You enjoy the quality time you spend with her, really.

But guilt wouldn’t let you do so.

She had isolated herself from her friend group affiliated with either of her brothers, ignoring their pleas to at least talk to either Mikey or Izana. Hina or Senju would try to walk up to her on her way to class and Emma would outright ignore them. In a span of days, you’ve seen countless plushies, perfumes, expensive jewelry thrown into the dustbin, either from Mikey or Izana at the back of her dorm- their apology ripped letters ripped to shreds.

You had taken the time to piece one from Izana together and felt your heart bleed at his begging for them to “please work it out. We may not be siblings by blood but you’ll always be my little sister” and Mikey’s “Em I’m sorry for everything. Please let’s talk, I’ll listen to you.”

Your brothers had never done anything like that before. Usually, they would tell you to suck it up or even laugh at you for being too ‘sensitive’.

Then and there, you decided to talk to either of the Sano brothers in hopes you would mend their relationship. A naïve part of you thinks that this is the right thing for you to do; Emma has done so much for you, it’s time to return the favor.

You hadn’t told Emma what you planned on doing, knowing very well that it would make the poor girl far more furious than she was already. She would tell you that you have nothing to apologize for and get angry with you for suggesting to make peace with them, claiming you did nothing wrong.

The last thing you want is to escalate the issue. You just wanted Emma’s happiness.

You gripped the strap of your tote bag firmly, your eyes fixated on Mikey’s Chevrolet that was outside your department, possibly waiting for Emma to come out so that he would talk to her. Gathering all your courage, you walked towards the car and gently knock on the passenger’s seat tinted window to get his attention.

It wound down immediately, revealing the blonde haired man staring back at you with an annoyed expression.

“Are you trying to break my window?”

His rude tone made you instantly regret even trying to talk to him. Unfortunately for you, the decision was made and you stuck to it. ‘The letters, remember the letters’ You whispered to yourself. “I’m sorry Mikey I didn’t mean-”

“Manjiro.”

You blink twice at his interruption, trying to make sense of what was going on. “Huh?”

“Only my friends call me Mikey and as far I’m concerned, you aren’t one of them.”

There it is. That same attitude of that night. It almost made you angry with the way he was talking to you. You had every right to walk away from him - he was the one consistently harassing you, not the other way around, so who does he think he is?

Instead, you took a deep breath, thinking about just being the bigger person and how you want to make peace with him, so that everything returned to normal. “Okay, I’m sorry about your window Manjiro.” You added politely. “Can we talk?”

He narrowed his eyes at you suspiciously and you expected him to roll up his window and just drive away after that.

“Get in.”

You were shocked, but that quickly wore off when he opened the door for you to enter. You settled in quickly, snapping the seatbelt on after closing the door behind you.

There’s tense silence between the two of you as the car moved towards a more secluded part of the campus. You anxiously looked at your lap while he drove, wondering how you were going to start the conversation with him without instantly setting him off. Your gaze eventually drifted up to his face; from his half-lidded dark eyes to his straight nose, down to his soft pink lips.

You could see the resemblance between him and Emma, from their facial structure to genuinely good skin -not to mention they were both attractive. Despite his height, you knew a large amount of girls that crushed on him religiously, you included. You heard he treated any girl he was with, from his ex-girlfriends to his situationships, down to his one night stands with utmost respect and care. And despite everything he’s said to you, unlike his brother, he never hurt you violently or physically.

You just wished he was just as polite with you as he was with other girls. Maybe you could bring it up in discussions.

The car stops, bringing you back to reality. You realized that he had parked behind an abandoned class far behind the rest of the school. According to the university’s history, this was the first ever lecture hall that was built for the school, and eventually they decided not to renovate it as a remembrance from their little beginnings.

Or they didn’t want to spend any money on it.

Mikey switched the engine off, completely silencing the environment between the two of you. It is then that the realization hits you. You’re all alone with one of the most dangerous guys in this school, in a place where no one could hear you even if you scream. The thought makes you nervous, hoping to high heavens that Manjiro doesn’t want to hurt you.

“Well?” He asked, breaking the ice between the two of you. Mikey leaned back on the driver’s seat, turning to look at you. “You wanted to talk? Start talking.”

‘Okay. I can do this’ You whispered gently, exhaling through your lips. You can do this. “Mike- I-i mean Manjiro, I know it’s awkward, after everything that happened at the party and now it’s all a mess.” You cringed at the way you’re jumbling your words, this was not how it was meant to go. “We still haven’t resolved things yet-”

“We?”

You’re taken aback by his shocked tone as if he didn’t remember what both he and Izana had said to you, but when he doesn’t elaborate further, you take matters into your own hands. “Yes. You both said some unsavory things to me that hurt me that day, and it made Emma mad.” You paced yourself, not wanting to start rambling again. “I also want to apologize for disrupting your party by taking those words to heart and if I have offended you in any way, please forgive me.”

There’s an unreadable expression on his face, as if he’s slowly processing all the words you had just said. You watched his reaction morph from surprise to blankness, nothing on his face, which scared you more than any other expression.

“Get out of my car.”

What?

You quickly turned to the man, trying to understand what you had done wrong. This wasn’t how the conversation was supposed to go in your head. You expected that Manjiro would be civil enough to at least apologize for his actions too or talk, not this.  “Wait, Manjiro, what did I say wrong-”

“You don’t even realize you’re the problem!” You nearly jump out of your skin at the sudden increase in his pitch as he bares out his frustration with you. “Em can never fucking shut up about how I need to apologize to you whenever I try to talk to her! It’s always about you, you, you! It’s frustrating.” he snapped. “Ever since you came into Em’s life, she just can’t help herself bringing you up. It’s always shit like ‘Oh, (name) is such a nice girl, you should talk to her, she’s a good listener.’ ‘Sorry I can’t come to the outings, I have to study with (name), you know she can’t go alone anywhere’ ‘Oh, this reminds me of (name), she can’t even say the word sex without hiding her face, she’s so innocent.’ She’s so fucking enamoured with you and we’re sick of it.”

You knew the brothers were extremely family motivated, but you had no idea that you were getting in the way of them spending time together. “I didn’t know...” Your voice shakes, tone apologetic as your gaze falls onto your lap. “I…I didn’t know I was causing a rift between you guys, I’m so sorry. I just want to make up for everything and put this behind us.”

A tense silence followed, and you didn't look up from your lap to look at Manjiro, still intimidated at his sudden outburst. You could understand their aversion to you, their family is quite close and their bonds intertwined; so for a stranger to barge in and attempt to tear things apart, even unknowingly can be frightening for them.

Not like you would know what it is like for family to love you.

Eventually, you feel Manjiro turn his gaze towards you, dark eyes scanning your figure until settling on you. You held your breath as he finally cleared his throat, turning his attention to you fully for the first time, ever as he began to speak.

“You want us to make up.”

His tone was plain, as opposed to how angry he sounded a few moments ago. Somehow, you feel weird, slightly more alert than before as he pauses again, goosebumps littering your skin. ‘What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel so scared as he’s staring at me?’ you questioned yourself, before shaking your head, clearing your thoughts. ‘This is Mikey I’m with. Sure, he’s intimidating, but he would never hurt a girl. He’s a good guy.’

You decided to push your odd feelings aside. You were here for peace, not to think ill of him, not especially when you have a soft spot for him in your heart. And you wanted it to happen by any means necessary. Maybe showing him you were not a threat to his place in Emma’s life would make him feel much better around you. “I know that you may not trust me, but maybe if you got to know me better, and I also got to know you and your friends, you’ll see I mean no harm.”

“Is that so? You want us to know each other better?”

It was slight, but you could hear it. The slight mocking tone in his voice and instantly you felt stupid. It was clear he wasn’t taking you or your request seriously as you hoped he would, opting to see right through you instead as he stared at you, his gaze lingering to your hands lying in your lap.

“I-i feel like you’re not taking me seriously-"

“If you wore a longer skirt, then I wouldn’t have gotten so distracted.”

You instantly felt self-conscious when you realized where his gaze truly was from that moment on, and started dragging down your skirt to cover the space between your thighs and socks. The action only seemed to annoy him. “This is my problem with you. If you knew it was short, why did you wear it then?”

“I thought it was cute-” You felt stupider, uttering those words, but before you could say anything else, Mikey cut you off. “I never said it wasn’t cute, (name). It’s a cute skirt. It looks good on you.”

Your heart jumps in excitement at his compliment, your entire body getting warm at his words. “Really?” You uttered shyly, letting your guard down as a small smile crawls up your pretty lips.

“Yeah, real cute. You’d fit as one of the actresses featured in the schoolgirl category on a porn site.”

Your smile dropped instantly as the words left his mouth. “I’m not a slut.” your voice trembled, but just like arguing with your father, it’s no use. He let out a loud scoff, his gaze flickering from your face to your lap, settling between your legs. “But you dress like one. So might as well just perform for me, hmm?”

Your body tenses as you feel a hot palm grab at your exposed thigh, crawling underneath your skirt. You quickly push his hand off your thighs, earning a somewhat shocked reaction from him, as if he’s not used to being rejected. “I’m not…” you start to explain to him, slowly reaching for the door in a bid to escape. “... I don’t do things like that-”

“Does it look like I fucking care?” The blonde man snapped back at you, his surprise giving way to annoyance and he started to grab at your thighs again, only to be brushed off by you, angering him further. “I know you’re not as “innocent” as you claim to be. Stop fucking pretending. I know you want this!”

“I said I don’t do stuff like that! Stop it!” You yelled back at him, frustrated that he can’t just take no for an answer. You try to pry the door open or undo the latch, only to discover that it was stuck and that there was no way out.

‘No, no, no, no…’

Your heart starts hammering loudly in your chest, dread filling your veins when you realized how alone and utterly fucked you are.

You’re beginning to realize that Manjiro driving the both of you to a secluded place in the middle of nowhere was most likely intentional. He must have planned this so that no one would hear you both.

“Manjiro open the door or I’ll- I’ll-” 

“Or you’ll what?” He spat back, dangling the keys before your very eyes before putting it somewhere you couldn’t see. “You wanna open the door so bad? Get the key from me then.”

You’re quick to react, lunging forward in an attempt to snatch the key for him. He easily resisted you grabbing at his body while laughing at your repeated screams to stop. It was like the more you begged and pleaded for him to let you go, the more he liked whatever game he was playing.

“THIS ISN’T FUNN- MANJIRO!”

Your screaming did nothing to deter him from practically jumping on you and pinning your arms against your chest with one firm hand, a leg separating your thighs. You twisted and turned, trying to fight your way out of his tight grip but to no avail. He was heavy and stronger than you had imagined, holding onto you like you weighed nothing at all.

His other hand reached underneath your skirt, skimming through your panties, making you squirm in your position at the feeling. Panic rises against your chest as he pushes the crotch part aside, revealing your pussy. “Wait! Wait, please Manjiro, I’m a virgin-” you try to reason with him as he traces through a streak of your hairy vulva, curling a strand in one finger before moving to your clit.

“You don’t shave?” His tone is so casual, like he isn’t doing something very abhorrent and wrong right now. His question is left hanging in the air as his finger starts to slowly circle around your clit. "Not like I care, it's better this way, anyways."

You’ve never been touched before. You’ve never touched yourself there either. You grew up in a household that taught you that anyone who isn’t your husband touching you is wrong. Your body is a temple to be kept for your husband.

So when Mikey’s slow and sensual movement against your clit begins, your body nearly seizes up with sensitivity. A loud gasp escapes your lips, followed by heavy breathing, your body shuddering with something unfamiliar and electric, sending signals that you didn’t know how to respond.

He strokes you faster, rubbing your sensitive nub in circles that has your eyes glazing over and your hips moving to feel more of his touches, wetting his car seat and your skirt with arousal. Mikey watched with interest the way you closed your eyes tight, your head lolled towards the side as your chest rises and falls, quiet ‘oh’ leaving your lips. He started to take it a step further, leaning over to your neck and trails kisses from your pulse point, to your jawline. He moved up to your ear and his long tongue darted towards the shell, licking it.

“Manjiro-” You gasped at the foreign wetness, with each flick of his tongue, sending pleasurable shivers down your body to your very core. Encouraged by your somewhat positive response, he continues licking your earlobe, his teeth occasionally grazing the shell as his fingers progressively leaves your clit, gathering your slick between his two fingers and tracing the outline of your hole.

“Shit” he groaned, feeling how wet you were. “You’re so wet right now, I could just slide in your pussy with ease.”

You wanted to protest when you felt two thick fingers inch into your unused hole. You wanted to push him off you and run out of the car until you were far away from him. Every part of your mind, your heart, everything in you wants Mikey OFF you as he forces your hole to accept his fingers.

And yet, you couldn’t even scream, you couldn’t claw at his face to scratch his eyes out for doing this to you. No. Instead, you’re arching your back and breathing his name into his ears over and over again, your hands clenched tightly in his grip as his fingers stretched your pussy out. All you do is tear up and let this sick pervert lick the salt rolling down your cheeks off, before going back to kissing the sensitive spot behind your ear.

“You’re so pretty when you cry f’me. Come on, keep making those noises.” 

He curled up his fingers, experimentally looking for that spot as the burn graduated to a pleasurable stretch, repeated moans leaving your lips. He fingered you, progressively increasing his speed and pleasure overriding your senses as he circled his thumb over your poor nub, simultaneously with him curling up your g-spot.

Your body responded to his touches, lips kissing up and down your neck, licking your pulse point before sinking his teeth and mouth on it, making you gasp loudly.

Everything was too much. Your pussy tightened around his fingers, thighs trembling as he brought you closer to the edge. His lips left your neck and kissed up to your jaw, then the corner of your lips, pumping into you faster until you started to spasm.

“M-manjiro I-i feel, I feel- hngh-”

You arched your back uncomfortably with a strangled cry, soaking his fingers as your vision went blinding white. Your body trembled as he fucks and kisses you through your orgasm, shaking in his grasp until you fall limp on the chair, well spent.

You’re catching your breath as his fingers slid out of your pussy, a string of your cum connecting them. Manjiro looked at his soaked fingers with interest, before popping them in his mouth and humming to himself in approval. The sight feels so wrong to look at and you can’t find the strength to look away as he licked his fingers clean of your musky taste.

You don’t say anything when he let go of your wrists and adjusted your panties so that it covered your pussy. The blonde haired man climbed back to his seat, starting up the engine of his car again.

He doesn’t say anything when you start sobbing.

   “I GOT you food.”

You didn’t respond to Manjiro, hanging your face as tears rolled down your face. It’s the position you had assumed since he climbed off your body, something he couldn’t get you out. He thought that maybe if he got you some food, maybe you’ll ease up and eat.

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

Kissing his teeth, he entered back into the driver's seat before closing the door behind him, tossing the food at the back seat. You could tell from the way he was muttering underneath his breath that he was growing more annoyed with you. “Honestly, I don’t know why the hell you’re crying. You’re still a virgin. I didn’t force myself on you.”

You didn’t know what else to expect from him. That he would even offer you a shred of apology for what he did? The way his words are so callous, lacking any form of tact in the way he’s brushing off what he just did tore you apart.

Emma had painted this man as someone who would hang the moon and stars for her. Someone she knew she could call if anything was going to happen to her, who would fight through hell and back for her safety. She had told you of how he beat up anyone that touched her wrongly and how he would try to make her forget anything unpleasant. To Emma, Mikey was her knight in shining armor, her hero.

This was a man you had loved with all your heart. Manjiro was your first ever crush, and the more good you heard about him, not just from Emma, but from other girls too, the deeper you fell for him. You had admired him from afar, your heart set onto him as you hoped to be at least close to him. Despite everything, he was the sun in which everyone revolved around, the heart throb of your dreams.

But when you turn to look at him through your teary gaze, watching him rev up his car engine with a nonchalant expression on his face, all you see is a vile soul.

You felt sick.

“I’m going to tell Emma.”

Your voice was quiet, hoarse from all the sobbing but the anger was evident. There was no way you were going to let him get away scott free. You knew that the police would be as good as useless because you’ll have no evidence by the time you manage to file a complaint. The school authorities won’t help you either as Shinichiro Sano was one of their biggest benefactors and everyone in the faculty loved Manjiro despite his tendency to be disrespectful.

But if you told Emma, you know she’ll believe you. Even if the entire world was against you and for him, you would still be able to get her to take your side and stand with you.

You’re sure name dropping his little sister would make him scared at the very least. Mikey loved her to death, she had this perfect image of her sweet older brother that he has to uphold at the very least.

Without skipping a beat, he dropped his own phone straight onto your lap before continuing to focus on the road. Eyes wide, you turned your head to Mikey to see any form of reaction, even him flinching slightly.

Nothing.

Your mouth hung open at how he just blankly stared at the road ahead of him, his grip on the steering wheel normal as he drove you back to campus. As if he’s innocent, like he didn’t force his fingers into your panties and violate you.

His nonchalance irritates you; it’s as if he doesn’t care what you say or do to him.

“What?” you questioned him, wondering where the hell he dropped his humanity? Any other person would have reacted; begging you, threatening you or even giving a flimsy apology. “-why did you drop this on my lap?”

“You wanna call her? Go ahead.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Not like you told me no when I was fingering you.”

“That’s not how it works!”

“Then how does it work?” He cuts you short, taking a right turn to park outside of your faculty building. He puts the car in park before turning to face you. “You walk up to my car to ask me if we could talk, wearing that kind of skirt that gave me access to you. When I told you to get out, you didn‘t leave. You never told me to stop and you didn’t struggle. You know what you did instead?”

“Sto-”

“Ah ah- Manjiro” he mocked you in a high pitched voice, making you cover your ears in humiliation, not wanting to hear anything from him. You wanted to throw up, ruin his car. You want the ground to swallow you whole, anything that would take him far away from you. “Ah, mmh Manjiro, mmh mhhh ah ah- you moan like a pornstar by the way. You seem like you enjoyed being treated like that.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but all you felt was bile rise up to your throat. A part of you nagged that he had a point; you never said anything that sounded like ‘stop’ or ‘no’ and how you positively responded to his touches. ‘You even orgasmed.’ A gnarly disgusting voice bubbles up in your head, in defense of Mikey. ‘It was obvious you enjoyed it. Every second of it.’

You tried to deny it. Try to block out that voice as you attempt to remember everything you were told about assault. You’re fighting a war in your head, against the intrusive voices as you picked up the phone to tell Emma. ‘She’ll believe me. She’ll believe me-’

“Face it. You’re just overreacting because you liked what we did.”

Those words were the final nail to the coffin. The phone lies in your limp hand, finger just above Emma’s line to call her. Everything that led up to this point involved your choices. To stay in his car. Not fighting harder. Never screaming no.

You let him dirty your temple.

Mikey spared you one more look, dark eyes scanning every inch of your crumpled form. He slides the device out of your hand, placing it back in the middle of his car before grasping your hand in his.

“Alright, stop crying.” he soothed in faux sympathy, thumb tracing over the back of your palm. “I’ll take you shopping and buy you new clothes, hmm? And I’ll buy you anything else you want. Okay?”

You should known better to believe him. After everything he has done to you, from consistently insulting you, to assaulting you and then making you feel guilty for giving him the opportunity to do so.

And yet, you’re nodding along, agreeing with him and letting his warmth engulf you. “Okay.” You said in a small voice, your free hand grasping the hem of your skirt tightly.

“Look at me.”

You felt another hand grasp your chin, forcing you to look at his face, dark eyes peering at your face. “I don’t like that look on your face.” You wince as his fingers tightened around your jaw, your heart hammering against your chest when he commanded you once again. “Smile.”

You don’t know what else to do. With Mikey, it’s like going to a war knowing fully well you would lose.

And so you do as you’re told. Your lips lifted at the corners forcefully and you gave your best smile. He returned it with a smile of his own, genuine to the point his eyes dilated.

“Good girl. You look so much better.”

Your mouth went dry at his statement when he withdrew from your body and unlocked the door for you. Deciding not to ponder on it, you reach for the handle to leave. You had a class in an hour’s time and you were supposed to meet up with Emma beforehand to return her laptop that you borrowed for her project.

“Wait.”

You paused in your tracks, your hand hovering above the door handle. What else does he want from you?

“Your makeup is ruined. Fix it. You don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea that I hurt you when we were just playing with each other.”

Bile rose into your mouth once again at his words, but you hold yourself from doing anything that would set him off. You only nodded in response before opening the door and exiting the car. Tears threatened to escape your eyes as you hurried off to class, your throat burning with anger as you gripped both your tote bag and the food he had gotten for you, hard. Your body shook with each step feeling the intensity of his dark eyes burning into you.

You never touched the food, throwing it in the trash bin due to your appetite eluding you, replaced with a sinking feeling of pain and humiliation into your stomach. You don’t make it to the rest of your classes either, opting to lock yourself in a toilet, a loud cry ripping from your throat into your palms as your heart breaks into tiny pieces.

How could this have happened?

Bonus Scene:

MIKEY never tore his gaze from you as you disappeared into the building. Dark eyes watched as your ass bounced in that jean skirt you had worn today, nearly reviving the boner he had prior. He had to admit, notwithstanding his absolute disgust for you, you were a sight for sore eyes - pretty, naive, inexperienced and tight. So goddamn tight.

He’s never been with an inexperienced girl before. Not even when he lost his virginity in high school. It didn’t hurt that you also had the sexiest thighs he’s ever seen either, soft and doughy underneath his touch.

You weren’t as stupid as he thought -far from it. Mikey knew your strategy; picking your battles carefully. You’re rightfully afraid of both him and Izana. You were even more afraid of losing face with Emma, the only friend you managed to make here, which is why you came to him because you felt guilty for making her mad at them.

If played right, they could have you underneath their thumb like they do with the rest of Emma’s other friends. All this was to keep an eye on their little sister in the long run, to restore the natural order and balance that was their system. Family came first, then the gang, then their friends and finally, if they cared enough, their lovers. It’s a cycle that Mikey is used to, being the center of attention in Emma’s life and sharing that space with Izana. Even Draken knew that there are times he shouldn’t intrude when the two brothers are with her.

But you had no regard for the order of things. You just tried to insert yourself into his and Izana’s circles, as if you were somebody of any importance and not just another, a little gnat.

To Mikey, you deserved to be crushed like the annoying gnat you are. Seeing you cry and tremble underneath his touch, hearing you moan and beg him like a slut made him feel good.

Mikey looked at the building again before looking at his watch. He had to attend his criminology lecture by 3pm since he had a presentation today and it was already 1:30pm, having taken out time to talk to you. The frat member he gave his presentation to edit must be waiting for him at the coffee shop.

“I might not be able to meet up with ‘Zana.” He muttered, picking up his phone to dial him up instead. Finally, after the fifth ring, his line went through, his rough voice echoing through the phone.

“Mikey? What is it?”

Mikey could hear a bit of shuffling from the other end of the phone, and a quiet “Izana” spilling from a rather feminine voice, only for Izana to bark at the girl to shut up, effectively silencing her.

“Did I catch you at the wrong time?”

“No.” He grumbled. “Do you have any updates on Emma?”

“In a way, yes. I do.”

“In a way?”

“I have a feeling you’re not going to like my plan, regardless.”

Izana sighed from the other side of the line, probably sick and tired of the constant mind games Emma was playing with them and to be fair, even he was sick of it as well. Their little sister was easy to annoy but easier to please; so for her not to be as forgiving this time was frustrating. Mikey had played every game in the book he knew to please Emma and even Izana had put in far more effort than he cared to, but nothing worked.

Unless…

“It involves her, doesn’t it?”

Mikey could hear the irritation in his brother's voice, but then again, if they wanted peace to reign and for Shinichiro not to get directly involved in this issue in your favour, they were going to have to play it the smarter way.

“Not like we have a choice. Emma’s attached to that girl by the hip. You’ll just have to trust me on this one.”

Also, it doesn't hurt to have a little fun on the side.

author's notes: reblogs, comments and asks are highly appreciated. my taglist for all my fics are wide open, so do ensure to sign up. please be very patient with me as for updates, school has started and i may not be able to be consistent, but i will try my very best to finish this story this year.

I do not consent to my works being promoted, published or translated on any site or social media without my permission.

taglist (please turn on your mentions in 'settings' before filling the form.): @officiallyjaehyuns @haikyuusboringassmanager @ilybbg @merrymerrykiss @cockonoi @Rindou24689 @short-cxke @kokoch4n3l @GenAwi @ryuguji-sana @nuyoo @getonite @anxious-chick @reiners-milkbiddies @kiwixpi @gh0stgirl333 @brisssaaa009 @fushiqruo @kawaiikoalagarden @damidamimongalam @raven-nevra

[alastorsfuckassbob]

We'll Meet Again

Alastorxfem!reader

Part two to "you're never fully dressed without a smile"

Plot: You're down infamously bad for Alastor. You work for a shift for Valentino and somehow you end up at everyone's favorite hell based hotel! I swear to god you will make physical contact with deal Al by chapter 3.

A/N: OH GOD THIS IS A LONG ONE, and honestly for an Alastor fic really Valentino and Angel Dust focused- but like any good story there are more than two characters so we should develop them✨

As always, minors DNI-

Somehow we got spicer and a bit more angsty so read the warnings and think critically if its something you really want to read

⚠️WARNINGS⚠️

-Domestic Violence, Abusive Relationships

-Swearing

-Valentino (has to be its own warning)

-Smoking and Alcohol use

-Sexual Innuendo

"Y/n"

"Y/n, please let me hear you. Your voice lights a fire within me that I cannot ignore"

The static popped, heartfelt and genuine, the phrase echoing throughout the dimly lit room and deep into the pits of your soul. It reminded you of those late nights spent at the studio with him. Of the memories you had created with him, you spent the least time mulling over your time at the station. It was just too much to handle, you would sit for hours talking about whatever fancies fit the time, swaying to the complex chords and swing of the music. No matter what mood you walked in with, it vanished the moment your frame entered his arms. Your hand grazed the edge of your cheek in the mirror imagining how his hand traced the outline of your face as it so often used to do. The show had hundreds of listeners, you were speaking to the world so it would appear, but anything and everything you said or played was made strictly for each-other.

Here you were, lost in time once again. You had missed those little moments, far more than you anticipated. You had always been one to get lost following the tracks of memory. but this..this was different, your body felt as if it was buzzing. His honey lined transatlantic accent reverberated throughout your skull. Sickeningly sweet, holding desperation but still not depravity. It lacked the typical Sadism and savagery, a commonality in your hellish experience. The wicked pair usually found itself wrapped around your arm and caught against your throat. You had become accustomed to those feelings of desperation, but somehow his was different. He hadn't said much of anything and it felt like he had bottled every sweet nothing and loving whisper he had uttered in your direction throughout your life, and poured them into his tonality all at once. The static grew heavier.

"Y/-n y-y-N"

his voice became distorted and crackled. He kept speaking but the words were mangled and malformed. You couldn't quite make out what he was attempting to get across. You couldn't lose him not another time, even if you hadn't really "had him" again.

It was enough to send you into a fit of desperation.The incoherencies faded out, only deafening static remained .

"Alastor"

your wavering voice filled with alarm. You rushed to the radio nearly falling of the counter as you did so. You feverishly tuned the knob hoping for just another moment with him, even if it was just audibly. The electricity crackles, and dark grey smoke erupts from the small box and into your face. You cough rapidly upon contact. The fire sparks, promptly melting the exterior of the radio.

"shit fuck shit fuck shit"

You rasp between coughs. Something ablaze was not entirely out of the ordinary, yet you remained panicked. you thoughtlessly unplug the radio, scalding your hands in the process. Not knowing what else to do, you throw the newly aflame radio into the tub. It wheezes out another plume of smoke before sinking down into the water.

"well that isn't..ideal"

You decide its a tomorrow issue and head off to sleep. Still slightly shaken up, you throw on a silky nightgown and plop into your bed. You wouldn't find peace in your sleep, you never did. You closed your eyes unready to face your demons but too exhausted to care.

The next day comes to pass sooner than you'd care to admit. You don't feel well rested, but you can't find it in yourself to go back to sleep. Your thoughts are still so dreadfully plagued with Alastor. The way his lips felt on your own, the soft gentle curl of his hair. Everything aspect of him was so fundamentally perfect. Even his so called flaws. He may be an attention seeking idiot, but he was your attention seeking idiot. That was all that mattered. You'd be happy to do most anything to supply him his attention fix. You looked at the clock across from your bed, it was already noon. You had told Angel you'd be at the club around one. Unhappily, you rolled out of bed grabbing another outfit from your closet to change into. You applied some simple mascara, and tied up your hair. You could finish getting read with Angel Dust like you usually did.

You arrive at the club meet Angel, you liked to arrive a few hours before your call time just to talk with each other. You had vastly different schedules but you made it work. You walk through the lobby watching other scandalously dressed demons go about their daily life. You could have sworn you saw a flick of shadow watching you from behind the other inhabitants. You shook it off, you didn't sleep well, its possible you're just seeing things.

You arrive at your dressing room, and knock at the door. Its a calm and quiet environment. The eye before the storm working tonight will plunge you both into.

"the fuck do you want, can't a guy do his eyeliner in peace"

you roll your eyes before opening the door, he glances back at you.

"oh hey toots, didn't expect you so soon- you're not late"

"Fuck off angel"

you sit down in your chair and begin brushing out your hair. Val was very particular about the image you portrayed, even if your hair was already curly he'd want it to curl differently, If it was straight, he'd want it consistent coiffed to his liking.

If you didn't have hair he'd probably get you a wig of some kind. You glance down at the black porcelain mask on the counter. It was delicately painted with small golden roses. It was the only thing between you and an army of horny fans. Angel finishes his eyeliner with a small flick of a wing.

He stands up and takes the brush from you. He combs through the ends making sure there aren't any tangles left before grabbing the curling iron. To be quite honest, you both absolutely sucked at doing your own hair, so you did each others. It was nice, and he always made you look good. You had known angel for quite some time, you felt like you knew who he was but nothing about him.

He was always rather private about the details of his life before hell. You had gathered he was Italian by his sound, and that he had been involved with the mob from small anecdotes he sometimes shared.

It didn't really matter who he used to be, he was your friend and you loved him.

"I mean this in the nicest way possible y/n, but you look like shit" He grabbed a strand of your hair wrapping it around the wand.

"oh gee thanks" you deadpan

"long night?" he asks releasing your hair from the curling wand scrunching it slightly.

"something like that, how about you, you look shockingly well rested, and i doubt its just the concealer"

"I'm staying at a new place" he continues working his way around your head.

"Val let you leave?" a hint of shock permeated your voice

"he can't dictate where i stay when i'm off the clock babe" He grabs a smaller curling want and begins with some small face framing pieces.

"does he know?" you ask hesitantly. You didn't want to upset him.

"I don't think he's caught on yet, probably figures I'm just out getting drunk and high off my ass"

"to be fair you often are"

"you're no angel either y/n" He rolls his eyes, he picks up the larger wand again and re-curls a few more of the back pieces.

"where did you move off to?"

You were lucky to have your own apartment. Most souls under contract with Valentino stayed in the complex....Your situation wasn't much better but it was enough. To be completely honest, you only lived about a ten minute walk from here. It wasn't much of a distance, but it was far enough Valentino would rather call upon some other, closer, unlucky soul outside of work hours to do his bidding. It was good enough. It was shocking to hear Angel had managed to find someplace with his cocaine habit and how little Val payed us.

"Its that rickety hotel on the edge of the Pride ring, I know it doesn't sound like much but its free" You almost visibly buffered from shock. How did he manage that? Then it hits you, he's probably sleeping there for free because he's sleeping with someone.

"who'd you have to fuck to get a room there"

"y/n" he groaned, slightly annoyed by your antics.

"No angel I'm serious, its hell people don't just give things out for free" you mused at his reaction.

"I didn't have to fuck anyone, its run by the princess, shes trying to rehabilitate souls"

"is that even possible" your mind began to swim with possibility.

"i dunno, i don't really care. It gives me a space to just exist..as myself..away from all of this"

your hand finds his way into one of his.

"i understand what you mean" your voice comes out no more than a whisper.

He continues curling your hair silently for a bit. Angel had his issues but he was a good person. He just found himself in a bad situation. Unexpectedly, he broke the silence. You two had a lot in common, including your tendencies of avoidance.

"you should live there too y/n, its free, and theres a bar, the bartender isn't too bad looking either."

You smile at the thought, it would be nice to get away from it all. Thats all it could be though, a thought. You were already on such thin ice with Val.

"Angie dear it sounds nice, but we both know I'm already Val's least favorite sinner. I shouldn't aggravate him more" you say with a defeated huff. Angel wraps another tendril of your h/c hair around the wand

"You can't let his life be your only life. I'm not stupid doll, I know you've been spending a lot more time around here." He's visibly and audibly frustrated.

He stays quiet for a minute picking up another strand of your hair.

"you're more than what you can do for Valentino okay? you were a person before you're still a person after, don't let him take everything from you." his voice becomes quiet, almost unrecognizable. Its velvety in a way, he speaks almost as if he's telling you just as much as he's telling himself Its the realest you've ever seen him be.

He quickly shakes it off

"his ugly mug cant be the only thing you see, I swear to god every time I look at him I throw up a little" He releases your hair from the curling iron stepping back to admire his work.

"now don't you look riveting" A jokingly seductive tone takes hold of his voice.

Your mind sparks with an idea, why complain about Val when you can just straight up mock him?

You stand up, rushing to the clothing rack, sift through the items before finding a long cherry red robe. Naturally its angel's. Its far too long for you, the second set of arms gets a little confusing, but eventually you slide it on. You sit back seductively on the counter mocking good ol Valentino.

"angel dust! you slut! you're fucking 20 guys before lunch! " You cross your arms dramatically before standing up on the counter. You strut across, being careful not to step on any of his things, but still maintaining the destructive energy Val usually carries.

A wild smile courses through your features, you grab the magazine Angel had been reading before you came in and throw it back into his face.

"Heres the 40 page shockingly kinky script about some kidnapping scene in France you have an hour to memorize, ignore the syntax errors and improvise!" He looks up at you baffled. I mean, you were right-He starts laughing uncontrollably,

"y/n what the fuck" he sputters out

You laugh along with him. He reaches up placing his arms around your waist, putting you onto the ground with very minimal effort. For a second you feel a bit like a house cat hopeless dragged off the counter. Angel was shockingly strong, for such a lanky guy he certainly wasn't flimsy or weak

A smug look overtakes his features

"let me show you how its really done"

He takes the robe off of your body and dawns it himself. He whips out a pair of bedazzled pink sunnies. Tilting them down, he gives you a cheeky wink. Once the knot of the belt is tied he is fully into character

"My siren! Y/n."

"oh god" you roll your eyes as angel begins his display. He walks across the room dragging you with him before twirling you into his arms. You cant help but be a little dizzy at the sudden motion.

"y/n, baby! You have made much so much money with that truly bodacious rack" He swings his arm around your waist. You both stifle a laugh as he drags his second set of hands across the shape of your body in the air in front of you.

"Angel I don't think Valentino would ever utter the phrase "bodacious rack", at least not in this existence" You form your fingers into little air quotes playfully rolling your eyes at him

"shh toots i am working on a real character here"

"Angel" you sigh

"shh" he hushes you again placing his finger against your lips.

Your collective antics go on for a little over two hours, stopping only briefly for you to style his fleecy hair. He looks at the clock before letting out an aggravated sigh. He pulls his body up from his chair.

"I gotta go doll, Val has me shootin yet another new movie before we shoot the scheduled "film", perks of being Hell's best actor" He grumbles grabbing his robe off of the floor leaving you alone in your shared dressing room.

You continued getting ready, expertly styling your newly curled hair and applying a thick coat of deep red lipstick. It wasn't too long after the door swung open. The suffocating smell of lust filling your lungs.

"My dear sweet y/n! how about we lose the mask for tonight?" Valentino burst into the room as if he owned the place. To be fair, he did. You still found it a bit off putting he didn't knock. Despite your profession, you valued privacy.

"Val-" You began, he cut you off.

"I don't believe I was asking." a smirk decorated his sly features.

"Respectfully, sir. It's not within my contract to appear as I truly am."

This shit again. Val was always on your ass about this. He always wanted more. Usually after a few minutes of arguing, he'd give up. There was nothing else he could do, so you don't think much of it. You pull out a cigarette, flicking the lighter, the small white stick begins to blaze.

You blow a cloud of hot red smoke in his direction. He rolls his eyes gritting his teeth in frustration. He takes a deep breath, sordid displays of force didn't work the best on you. You'd be frightened, but your stance would rarely change. Not unless he got physically violent, and quite honestly he was not in the mood today. You were not the most important thing to deal with. Its not that he didn't want to hurt you, he didn't want to waste his time. He tries a lighter, more manipulative approach.

"Think of how much success your beautiful little face would bring us. Sinners and Hell born alike already get off to your body, its just revealing a little bit more"

"No, I won't do it" your voice is small but resolute. He didn't have the patience for this. As soon as the word "no" left your lips Val had begun to lose it. "Wasting time" became a lot less important. Members of the Ars Goetia family would be present in tonight's audience. You had to look your best, so he could look his best.

"You are going to out there without that fucking mask and give all of hell a good show. You won't like what happens if you don't listen." He growled through gritted teeth

"Its breaking the contract. Val" You take another lazy puff from your cigarette. He ripped the cigarette from your hand, throwing it on the ground. He was done with your shit.

"I own you. Did you forget that, I own your body and your voice. you speak only when i want you to. You fuck who I choose. The only thing you technically have a right to is your name, isn't that right my little siren?"

His voice is sleazy to say the least, the tone makes you shudder. You couldn't help but think,

...was he right? you had asked to be anonymous, you never thought to specify how. He continued before you had a real chance to observe your thoughts. He wraps his arm around your shoulder, snakelike and seductive. He was getting tired of this, tired of you.

"the mask is getting old, hell will get tired of you if you don't give them more. you won't like what happens if they deem you all washed up.."

You attempt to move away, His grasp on your arm grows tighter. You flinch slightly from the pain, but not enough for him to notice. He wants to elicit a reaction in you, perhaps if you stay calm he'll give up.

"I have some very specific clientele coming to tonights show I need you to wow them"

You could hardly believe the audacity. Sure, Valentino was always kind of a prick but this complete and total discount of your previously agreed terms was relatively new. He had suggested removing the mask before and brought it up countless times, but this level of disregard was new. Screw being calm you weren't about to be this fundamentally disrespected.

"No I won't do tha- " his hand waves cutting you off. your voice caught in your throat the sigil on your hand marking his ownership glowing a dull faded pink.

"I can do whatever I please. I've let you forget that, I've been going too easy on you. Rereading our little contract brought me the enlightenment I needed. Those who bite don't get to speak" he pauses moving away from you taking in your figure.

"it looks like you'll just be dancing tonight, and what a wonderful performance that is going to be."

The click of his shoes taps against the stark white tile as he walks towards the clothing rack in the edge of the room. He hums, picking out a dark red burlesque outfit. He exchanges it for the mask from the table and breaks it in his hand.

"I think a more revealing number will compensate more than enough for your silence..don't you?"

Your last defense had been shattered. The last ounce of your personage robbed for the sake of pleasing some sleazy unsavory high end customer. You tried to speak but the words stayed nestled inside of you. You wanted to scream or talk honestly you'd take a whisper at this point, still, nothing. The anger in your heart welled its way up into your throat and without an outlet, your frustration took root in your tears."Great" you thought, "just what i needed to look respectable, yet another crying fit."

He grabs you by your shoulders, it had never registered how small you were in comparison. You knew he was tall, but in ten years, you'd never noticed how much taller he was. Usually the moth hunched over in some way to communicate better as his eyesight is less than superior...Yet here he stood a good three or four feet taller than you, anger almost visibly steaming off of his purple fur. two of his hands grasped firmly on your newly bruised shoulder, the other on your neck, and the last raised and ready to strike you. Closing your eyes you accept your fate. the contact comes and as soon as it does you are sprawled on the floor. Unable to move, unable to run. You had never been strong enough to fight. After all you were still the same person you were in 1936 and long after that. Your nose gushes blood, splattering droplets onto the tile as he abruptly jerks you up from the floor.

"maldita cabrona! quién se cree que es?"

he tuts clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. It sounds oddly like the loading of a gun. Every aspect of his body was drenched this newly violent attitude. His moth like horns lined with anticipation, twitching with every rigid breath.

Valentino had gotten rough with you before but not like this. This time, it felt more real. He leans in closer, his face directly in front of your own. From another angle perhaps the pose looked sweet,loving even. The thought made you sick.His arm rested against your shoulder, just forceful enough to cause you pain but not so harsh to send you tumbling to the ground again. The sharp talons tipping his long fingers traced the edge of your face, deep red blood madly racing after it. He would have killed you then in there if you weren't such a "valuable asset".

"Next time you'll learn to listen, I've killed fuckers for less than this shit you're giving me. If I don't have the patience with angeldust I certainly won't have it with you, even if you're named hell's favourite pequeña pecadora." He pauses glaring deep into your eyes

"I made you y/n, i can take that away and kill you myself whenever i please. try not to forget that again"

His inflection is wickedly sweet, but not sugary enough to hide his true malice.

He grunts in frustration, throwing you against the dressing room table, the back of your head shatters the mirror. An all too familiar feeling. He laughs viewing the position he's put you in, it is a dry, heartless, and dirty sound. The silence after is chilling. You close your eyes bracing for another impact that just doesn't come. He must have gotten bored with you, he usually did after a while. The door finally slams, the lights of the dressing room flicker and then click off. You slide down onto the floor, all you are left with is the small pool of blood and regret.

The performance that night felt like an eternity. Your skin practically peeling off as lustful eyes burned holes through your skin. You had drank a few more than too many cocktails. It wasn't nice to refuse a gift, and it kept you a little less than fully conscious. stumbling through the hallway you arrived once again at your dressing room. you sat down hopelessly viewing the dark purple bruises formed from your previous alteration through the shattered remnants of your mirror. So much for not "damaging the merchandise" as Val would so often say.A soft knock rattles you from your thoughts. the door creaks open and Angel Dust slides in. You silently look at each other's exhausted frame and scratched faces. Angel was the closest thing you had ever had to a friend, and just about the only person who could ever understand what you're going through. After all, your experience was modeled after his.

"Whats wrong y/n? cat got your tongue?"

Despite his exhaustion he kept up his usual performance. You didn't respond, you couldn't. The tears so expertly rimmed in your eyes threaten to fall. His expression falters and he walks up to you hugging you tightly. You didn't need to say or do anything to explain. He knew exactly what you were going through. For just a moment you relax into his arms.

A minute or so passes and you break the contact. You figure a little context wouldn't hurt. You motion to the glowing sigil on your wrist and then to your throat, hoping he understood the signal.

"You can't speak can ya doll?" He asked softly his hand ruffling your hair. You shook your head no.

"God i hate that fucking prick, he can't just play fair. Maybe if he did that sorry fuck wouldn't be making shitty porn and running washed out clubs for a living". He angrily paces around the room. As he speaks you grab an eyeliner pen and the back of some flier someone left taped to your door. It seemed like the easiest way to communicate. You messily scrawl the words

"Can I stay with you I promise its just for one night"

He takes the page from you a smile taking root.

"damn toots what happened to not mixing personal and professional life?" he joked. You sat there motionless, tears threatening to spill. He takes the hint and grabs a coat off of the rack wrapping it around your shoulders.

"I thought you'd never ask-I've been dying to hang out outside this shit hole. Let's head out, Its gonna rain soon and these boots are too hot to be messing with that acid bullshit"

He posed albeit dramatically earning a smile from you. He tilts his head towards the door and the two of you leave the messy dressing room behind. It was one of the few things you didn't have to worry about. After all, Valentino values appearances, any mess you had made would be gone in the morning. In one way or another, you could fuck up any way and make any mess, and Val would have it cleaned up. The only messes he wouldn't fix were the ones he made himself. The cuts on your body always lasted longer than your reflection in a broken mirror. Unlike you the mirror could be fixed.

Not long after you arrive at this so called "Hazbin Hotel"..you didn't have much to say other than it...seemed fitting. You walk up a few flights of carpeted stairs. His hand calmly connected to yours. He continues down the long winding hallway before reaching a large wooden door at the end. He unlocks the room, and it is exactly what you'd imagine it to be. An embodiment of everything "angel dust".

A few hours and a pack of cigarettes later, the rain starts. The acid falls from the sky burning sinners and generally..most everything in its path. The sizzle on the sidewalk almost sounds like the crackle of a record player. Leaning further back into his bed, you pull out yet another cigarette. Your hand waves, gesturing towards the box and Angel takes the last of the pack. He lights the end of yours first and then clicks the lighter again in an attempt to get his own fix. However the lighter had other plans, it pops and ticks before sputtering out completely. He strikes it a few more times to no avail

"Shit what does a guy gotta do to get a decent lighter in this shit hole"

His arms raised above his head in some odd exaggerated performance of anger. Despite the lack of necessity, you found the fake drama to be amusing. It reminded you of Alastor in some strange way. It was different than the usual drama you found yourself viewing. Hell is full of overdramatic assholes, at least Angel isn't.. cruel. You take the first hit of your newly lit cigarette. The pink smoke fizzling into your lungs, giving you a sense of calm you cant really find anywhere else.

"What you aren't gonna share?" he deadpans before he presses the edge of his previously unlit cigarette to yours.

You look at him as if to say "Angel you dumb bitch that never actually works you're just going to put mine out and then we'll both be miserable"

He rolls his eyes with his signature smug look. He presses his cigarette a bit closer to your own. Shockingly it lit up in a hot pink flame.

"Working with Val sucks but at least you learn a few useful things",

He deeply inhaled from his own newly lit cigarette, puffing the strawberry coloured smoke into your very clearly unamused face. Still. you couldn't help but laugh.. or you tried to anyway, not that it would have worked. You took another long delightful drag and sent the smoke his way. A fit of giggles ensued, at least on his part. You were just happy it worked and he didn't end up pissed off.

The action made you wonder, what if you weren't just meant to hurt others. perhaps you could light them up instead of burning them down. You sat there for about another hour, listening to Angel's sleep deprived rambles. It wasn't too much long after that your own exhaustion finally carried you safely into a well deserved slumber. It was peaceful, the most restful night you'd had since your fall into this desolate shit pit known as hell..For once you didn't "dream." You weren't haunted with his face. His shadow didn't suffocate you. The ghost of your past stayed simply that, a ghost.

The night passes swiftly. Almost as quickly as the stars had appeared they retreated deep into the hazy maroon sky and bright carmine clouds. The rain had stopped, somehow the damages caused weren't entirely discernible from the average look of things. It was then you heard radio static again.

Familiar and soothing, his gravelled voice broadcast to the denizens of hell.

"Good morning to all of you lovely listeners ! Today's broadcast is brought to you by hell's favourite sinner, what isn't to love about that little starlet. Tune on in dearest, I've been hearing so much about you."

the music started softly carried by the wind and into your ears. You felt intoxicated.

We'll meet again

Dont know where, dont know when

but I know we'll meet again some sunny day

Keep smiling through, just like you always do

til the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away

It was irrevocably, unmistakably unquestionably him.

Alastor, your Alastor.. was in hell. Not to mention an overlord (shocker there). Despite that fact, you were evidently on his mind. He was speaking to you and only you. There was nothing you could do to respond.

So you listened, to his voice, the instrumentation, the melody, everything. Maybe it would somehow bring you closer to him...

Unbeknownst to the both of you, you were no more than a few rooms apart, enjoying your stay at the Hazbin Hotel.

a/n: I SWEAR I PROMISE YOU, ANGEL, AND ALASTOR ARE GONNA WRECK THAT LITTLE FUCKERS SHIT, dw

[m0usehouse]

~☆screaming just to see who's louder

k.bakugou x tough!reader

based on why try"by Ariana Grande

"I've been living with devils and angels"

You grew up in a harsh environment. Paying bills was always a scramble. Mean kids at school were never interested in your company or the social rejection that would come with it due to your 'ratty and disgusting' used clothing. It didn't help when you had to go without a shower cause the water bill was too high the previous month. The daily stress fights didn't help soothe your young mind either. You grew up quick, knowing that you either own the world or the world owns you

He grew up in a nice home, two parents who loved each other, constantly being praised and adored. He was strong and secure in what he wanted to be. He eventually had to process the weights such perfection came with, but his blonde hair always had a halo glow from the bright sparks in his palms. .

"Realize you and I are in the same boat"

After meeting at the entrance exam, both of you had a resolved hatred for the other. you were kind and gentle, a contrast to what you always knew. He was harsh and abrasive, a trait developed from his mother's firey personality and his own inflated ego. The first interaction was an immediate clash of heads when you politely asked him to lean over so you could see the presentation better. He took that as you trying to insult his existence and that you decided he didn't deserve to be there. It ended with you both in the same arena.

Over time, being in the same class softened spikes enough to realize you both were just hungry to become the best versions of yourselves for yourselves. Weighed down by desperation and a lack of patience.

"Kills me how you love me, then you cut me down, I'll do the same"

No one knew how to handle you two. Even teachers were conflicted. At the USJ incident, and the camp attack, you and Bakugou worked in perfect sync. Almost crazy looking smiles on your faces. The Pussy Cats even assumed you were "mates".

When Katsuki was kidnapped, you were the first to agree to saving him. You had been right alongside Midoriya when he had been taken, reaching out with that same desperation. The desperation was what burned you alive.

You two spent so much time together, bickering but with smirks and sweet smiles thrown in. Then, he'd say something cruel, and you wouldn't put up with it, always spitting a vile reply back in his face. Once the dorms were established, you both got into so many violent screaming matches that Aizawa had to switch your rooms. The fights always ended with you crying and him overworking himself because, as agonizing as the other could be, you both wanted each other close. You wanted to burn, and you wanted him to burn with you.

"We've been living like angels and devils"

He was powerful, smart, talented, and attractive. He was worshipped like a God, but crumbled like false idols always do. His wings slowly lost their pristine whiteness as he clawed for success. His anger was a weak cry for 'more, more, more'. Yet, Angels can never be God, and he wasn't even God's favorite.

You were strong but never shiny enough. Always in the shadow of bright halos, electric bolts, shining smiles, and golden hearts. You spend hours every day after class, wrecking your body to gain at least a little more strength so you'll finally be able to own the world instead of being a slave to its bitterness. Everyone knows devils work in secret. otherwise, they're cast out entirely. Devils have to steal every bit of recognition and success they get. Their hard work will never be acknowledged or seen as worthy because their desire is deemed as ugly.

"I'm loving the pain, I never want to live without it"

You and Katsuki finally became official when you both realized your anger was passion. It was that same fire inside, and it was being mutually stoked by your similarities and drive. You fought constantly. Over stupid things that would turn into big things. A regular back and forth, tit for tat but with bursts of rage that left your ears ringing. However, the fights always ended in a rough kiss. Both of you are just so pent up with existence and goals that you have nowhere to put your uncontrolled anxieties onto each other. It always ended with Katsuki making you both an overly spicy dinner to irritate you while you huffed and found a movie you knew he hated, falling asleep in each other's arms halfway through.

"Through it all, you could still make my heart skip"

Sometimes, there'd be days on end of cold shoulders, silent treatment, passive aggression. It was confusing for everyone watching, but you always ran back to him because you knew he loved you more than anyone ever could. Anyone who has a lot of love could give you more, but he gave you all of his everything. He gave you his flaws, his attention, his support, his adoration, and his respect. He saw how capable you were and the strength you earned through hard work. Those quiet days were never lonely. Other people were blind to the quick love filled glances, the random dinners left in front of your door, and the perfectly prepared protein shakes left on his nightstand when he got back from training. They didn't see the single text you'd get during those times, "still love you, pretty."

"So why do we try?"

You asked him this question once during your post-fight ritual, and he looked down at you with an incredulous smile, his furrowed brows making the playful disbelief clear.

"Baby, look at us. You drive me insane."

[redroomreflections]

Words For US

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Request:What about Luke's first time saying mom or Mama to R? I know she'd be over the moon! Or maybe if you wanted to share Luke's words with both Nat and r while he's sitting on the ground playing ball with midnight and he points at both both r and Nat on opposite ends of the couch and squeals Mama!

The car was a madhouse.

Luke’s wails pierced the air, his little fists thrashing against the straps of his car seat. He hated being strapped in, and it didn’t help that it was after school — when his patience was nonexistent. Paige, from her spot in the back, was loudly insisting on playing Cocomelon for the hundredth time, her voice climbing over Luke’s cries.

“I said Cocomelon, Mama! Please, please!” Paige’s pleas turned into whining as she kicked the back of the seat in front of her.

Meanwhile, Charlie, seated directly next to Luke, was on her own mission, talking a mile a minute about something that happened at school. “—and then, Mom, she said I couldn’t have the glitter because Ava took it, but it wasn’t fair because—”

Natasha’s hands gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, trying to focus on the road ahead, while you juggled between soothing Luke and listening to Charlie's rambling. Your head was spinning from the constant noise. It was pure chaos, the kind that came with having a car full of kids on a wild, post-school energy high.

“Okay, everyone, let’s just—” You started, turning toward Luke in the back, trying to calm him down.

But the chaos had its own rhythm. No one was slowing down.

Luke screamed a little louder, the pitch of his wails rising.

Paige stomped her feet against the backseat, shouting for her music.

Charlie was still prattling away.

"Dear God, I'm going to walk home from now on," Cara sighed in annoyance. She pressed her headphones tighter into her ear. No matter how much the volume was turned up she couldn't cancel out the sound of her sibling's voices.

Your head pounded.

Natasha's grip on the steering wheel tightened even more. "Okay, everybody!" She yelled, her voice louder than the rest, "Everybody needs to calm down!"

Even Luke’s cries stopped at the sound of Nataha's serious voice. His tiny, tear-streaked face twisted into something determined as he pointed, still hiccupping, toward the front seat where both you and Natasha sat.

“M-mama!” he squealed, the word clear and insistent, cutting through the air like a beacon. His little finger bounced between the two of you. “Mama! Mama!”

"Did he just?" Natasha looked toward you. For a while, Luke's progression with his vocabulary had remained stagnant. His only words were Dog, Ball, and Mine. All very important words of course. But hearing him speak so clearly was new, and his word of choice was enough to make you want to cry.

You nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, he did."

Paige clapped excitedly. "Yes, Lukie, say it again."

Luke's smile grew as he heard Paige's voice. "Mama," he giggled.

You and Natasha looked at each other again, your heart racing as Luke began to point toward Paige, repeating his new favorite word.

"I am not, Mama, silly," Paige laughed. "I'm your sister."

"Ma-ma," Luke said, his tiny brow furrowing. "Out!"

"No, no, don't throw your toy!"

"Ma-ma! Out!"

"It's okay, bud, we're almost home," You reassured.

But that was the wrong thing to say, and soon, his little face was twisting up. "Ma-ma! Mama! Out!"

"Okay, okay, buddy, I've got you," You said, releasing the seatbelt and reaching toward the backseat, undoing Luke's buckles, and scooping him up into your arms. "Let's just pull over for a minute and everyone breathe."

You had no idea if this was the correct way to handle this situation, but what the hell. You needed to get out of the car anyway.

The moment the car pulled over, Luke calmed down, his tears disappearing like they'd never been there at all. "Mama," he cooed, pressing a wet, sloppy kiss against your cheek.

"Thank you," Natasha breathed.

"No problem," You laughed, holding Luke close to you.

[strayseraphine]

I regret saying that I love you | one shot

pairing: choi san x fem!reader

summary: Being in a "more than friends less than a couple" relationship is hard for you, especially when the person you're with is one of the most wonderful you've ever met. Despite your best efforts, you can't handle it, so you make a heartbreaking decision. mostly angst, a bit of fluff in the end, hurt/comfort

3 426 words

the one shot is also avaliable on ao3

This might not be the best what I have written, but I had to. I did it for myself to have a happy ending that I might not have in real life, I just had to get some tings off my chest.

choi san masterlist | general masterlist | stranger things masterlist

"What's up, dear?" San's voice broke the silence. His warm hand gently glided up and down your arm, fingertips barely touching it yet you felt as if they were leaving a burning trail behind. It burned as much as your throat tightened from the lump that grew and caused tears to fill your eyes. Despite how hard you tried to bear it all, despite how hard you tried to push your feelings aside...you couldn't handle it anymore. It was too strong.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go now." You stood up and started picking up clothes from the floor. "I feel sick."

"Hey, in that case, you should stay, let me take care of you." he said grabbing your wrist. Although the room was dark, you could see the gentle pout on his face, which squeezed your heart even tighter. You snatched your wrist from his hand, dressed quickly, and left his apartment saying only a weak "sorry" goodbye.

Your phone didn't stop buzzing in the cab, you knew it was him, but you didn't dare answer it. When you entered your apartment, you saw 7 missed calls and even more messages you didn't read.

you: just entered the house, I'm going to bed. Good night.

After sending the message, you turned off the phone and immediately moved towards your bed, where you felt safe enough to finally let out the emotions that were tearing you apart from the inside. 

You sat on the big leather couch listening to the samples that Hongjoong planned to add to the new songs, you knew each other since childhood, he knew he could trust you, so before and during the debut and long after it you were always present in his life, you were like siblings to each other. This is how you met San. San, whose name appeared on your phone screen for the tenth time today. The memory of last night was still fresh and painful. You locked your phone and put it face down. Hongjoong stopped the music and looked at you with raised eyebrows.

"Have you suddenly become a billionaire or do these constant phone calls have to do with the San asking everyone if they know what you're doing and where you are?" he asked.

You didn't answer.

"y/n... we've known each other since forever, do you think I'm that stupid and blind not to notice that there's something between you two?" he didn't let go.

"I don't know what to tell you..." you said quietly looking at the floor. You knew that what was between you and a member of his group would not please him, because both you and San were like family to him. You didn't want to put him between a hammer and an anvil.

"I really don't want to pressure you, but-"

Hongjoong didn't have time to finish his sentence when San appeared in the doorway.

"y/n please talk to me," he said, ignoring the leader.

"I'll leave you two alone."

As the door closed behind your friend the atmosphere started to get too tense. Your heart was pounding like crazy and starting to hurt. The pain you felt was connected to the realization that this is the end. Everything is going to end right here and now.

San sat next to you on the couch, but did not look in your direction. He too was aware that today would not have its happy ending.

"What do you want to know?" you asked quietly.

"What's going on? Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?" the questions came from his mouth awfully fast, you knew he had been thinking about them since the night before, you knew that, like you, he hadn't slept a wink through it, you knew he was worried, and that was killing you even more.

"I can't take it anymore San..." you said, interrupting his verbosity. "It's already too much for me. I thought I could handle it, that I was strong enough, but I can't. I can't do this anymore."

Hearing your breaking voice, his heart slowly began to break as well. He thought that what was between you gave you joy, but now he realized that he was also hurting you, and that was the last thing he wanted to do to you. "Talk to me please, we've always been able to talk about problems, it's something that makes us strong, remember? Our strength." He turned to face you. His eyes were filled with tears.

"Do you remember when we started to be much closer with each other?" you asked.

"Of course."

"Back then I thought a relationship was the last thing I wanted. I didn't feel ready, the very thought of letting someone close made me scared and uncomfortable. But then suddenly something changed between us. You showed me that not every guy in the world is a complete asshole. You made me feel accepted, not judged, appreciated, you made me feel loved, San. You were an amazing friend to me, and when we started spending more time together...when we listened to music together, played games together, watched anime and dramas, the way you devoted your free time to me made me feel important. Even when you were on the tour and we were hundreds of miles apart, our online conversations, falling asleep together with the stupid cam on, the way you started calling me all those pet names, writing good morning and good night messages, the way you didn't hide it and reminded me that you were thinking of me, that you liked looking at my pictures, when you reminded me that I was important to you..." You didn't know if each word brought you relief or more pain. "I don't even remember when our innocent hugging turned into all those kisses, and it went even further, it all happened so terribly fast, but I wanted it so badly... The worst part is that it wasn't just because of that that I fell in love with you, I fell in love with you seeing what a wonderful person you are, and that hurts me even more."

"Y/n... I thought we already talked about this..."

"I know we talked about it, but you wanted to hear everything."

"Okay, go on."

"You have a heart of gold, San. Sometimes too good, and in truth you deserve the best of everything. The goodness you have in you is huge, and I feel damn grateful to have you in my life, but there is one thing I regret."

"What?" He, too, was no longer able to hold back tears.

"I regret saying that I love you."

This sentence was like a powerful punch to his stomach. 

"Before I said anything you never held back your affection toward me, and since I did, I've noticed that it's much less, less often, and I can't stand how it hurts anymore. You gave me something beautiful, and then it was less and less..."

"y/n-"

"No. Maybe it's stupid but do you remember what bedtime messages from you looked like in the beginning? As time went on, you stopped using even silly hearts, and later you didn't even let me know if you were going to bed at all anymore. You know me San, you know that I pay attention to details, you know that I notice changes in behavior and you know how it affects me, so you know perfectly well that in your case, especially in your case, I won't miss it either."

"I'm sorry..."

"When I confessed to you how I felt and asked you who you thought we were, you said more than friends but less than a couple. And I agreed with you because that's what we are, but I can't do it anymore. Especially since I did it there are times when you don't respond to my affection. It hurts San, it hurts more than the rejection because I don't know what's going on, I feel lost at that point. I feel like the closer you get to know me the less you like me just don't know how to tell me. I feel like you were driven by a momentary fascination with me in the beginning and now it's slowly disappearing, but still, sometimes there are flashes. These flashes every time make me forget this awful feeling and I am happy again, I cling so terribly to these moments of closeness and warmth that you are able to give me... I understand your situation and I understand that you don't want to be in a relationship with me, but I can no longer maintain the kind of relationship we are in." San looked at you with pain in his eyes. His silence spoke more than a thousand words. "Y/n, I never wanted you to feel hurt," he said.

"That's not the point, San, I just can't live in uncertainty any longer. Sooner or later you'll find someone, and I won't be able to stand by and watch if I don't get rid of the feelings I have for you right now."

He lowered his gaze, and his shoulders slumped inertly. "I understand," he whispered. "I didn't want to hurt you. I always wanted to be a support for you, someone you could count on."

"I appreciate that, I really do, and you were that person for me. You were a wonderful friend, but that's what happens when friends start acting like a couple without being one. You're a great person, San, and to be clear... I don't regret what happened between us, because you really opened my eyes in some aspects. The only thing I regret is that I wasn't able to keep my feelings secret, if it wasn't for that, your behavior wouldn't have changed and maybe somehow things would have turned out differently, maybe I would have been able to hold out longer, but the fact that you are aware of my feelings and we can't do anything about it is too hard for me to bear."

The silence between you was long and heavy. San finally raised his eyes "Can we still be just friends? I need you in my life y/n." he asked quietly. "I still have you in my heart."

"For this moment, no. I'm sorry."

"y/n, please don't leave-"

"I'm sorry." You said running out of the studio.

Days passed, and he felt increasingly lonely. He recalled every moment spent with you, your laughs together, your conversations, the nights spent on the webcam when you were far away from each other. He would give up a lot now to be able to call you and fall asleep seeing each other on the small cell phone screen. Every day without you was a void he couldn't fill. Your absence was like a wound that refused to heal. He tried to focus on his work, on his music, but everything seemed pointless. Every song he tried to write, every note he played, reminded him of you. He began to realize that his world was incomplete without you. He missed your presence, your smile, your voice, your warmth. 

He was sitting in his room, going through your old messages and shared photos. You were right - the further he scrolled, the fewer of them there were. 

San: You deserve someone who hugs you when you're down, who reciprocate your love language, who brushes your hair and appreciates you

San: I appreciate you so so much and you deserve every good thing coming your way

San: Communicating with you is really easy, being able to communicate and being understanding makes us strong 🩷 Overall I'm very happy with u and appreciate your personality a lot

San: Just know that you are loved, your feelings are valid, I appreciate you a lot and you get all the affection I could give 🩷 sleep tight and nice dreams only tonight!

San: Okay but since we gotta go I really want to finish this on a positive note, you're such a beautiful person with a pretty personality. I'm glad we got closer like this, I appreciate you so so much, you've become a comfort person for me, stay how you are 🩷 Good night and sleep tight, much love!

San: I’m thinking of you all the time 24/7, every day of the week

Why did he stop?

His feelings for you never changed, so why did he limit showing how important you are to him from the moment you confessed your feelings to him? The further he went, the more apparent it became that the effort put into your relationship appeared mostly on your part. His were sporadic, sudden, definitely not as frequent as in the beginning.  He could not understand it. After all, the realization that someone loved and missed him was filled with positive feelings, it was not scary for him, not when he thought of you. Maybe it was because he knew he couldn't give you what you wanted? That he couldn't give you more? But actually why couldn't he? After all, he wanted to. He wanted you to be his, he wanted to be yours, he wanted to remind you without restraint how important you were to him and hold you in his arms whenever he had the chance to do so.

Why couldn't he see earlier how much he loved you?

Slowly he began to analyze your entire relationship. With each memory, he began to realize that his feelings for you were deeper than he ever wanted to admit. All those moments when he thought he was just protecting you were actually moments when he was hiding his true feelings. You never had a problem reminding him that, according to you, he was a wonderful person, and ironically you couldn't see that wonderfulness in yourself.

You were always there for him when he needed you. When others turned away from him, you were always ready to listen to him and wipe away his tears. At times when disagreements arose between you, you were always able to talk about everything and clarify. He remembered how your words were able to comfort him, how your messages were something that made him feel not alone on the other side of the world.

you: I hope you are having sweet dreams right now, remember that you are a wonderful person with a heart of gold, you deserve to be happy, you deserve the best. You are loved and you are not alone, when you read this in the morning... have a happy Friday Sannie 🩷

you: remember that you are loved and you deserve everything what's best, nasty mood happens but it will pass, it is not permanent, I am here for you

Simple words. However, he knew that they always came straight from your heart, that they were sincere and genuine. They were the ones that always made his heart wrap itself in pleasant warmth. You also deserved such messages, and the fact that he stopped writing them to you even when you needed them made him feel even worse. He let you down, somewhere along the way he stopped showing how he felt thinking it was obvious, but even if it was obvious, that was no reason to stop showing it. 

Now that he lost you, he couldn't stop thinking about how your laughter filled his heart with joy. Every small gesture, every warm word - all of it reminded him how special you were and how much it hurt him not to have you.

He realized that his fears and anxieties were irrational. He was afraid that he wouldn't be able to give you what you wanted, but in reality, it was you who gave him more than he could ever imagine. Your love and devotion were priceless. However, sometimes we fail to appreciate the treasure we have unless we lose it.

San sat in his room, looking at his phone, which still lay idle in his hand. He stared at the black screen hoping that your name would immediately appear on the screen. He felt overwhelmed with emotion and helplessness. 

"San, you need to pull yourself together," Hongjoong said one evening as they sat in the studio. "It can't keep going on like this."

He shrugged his shoulders without raising his eyes. "It's okay, I just need some time." Pretending to handle the situation was becoming increasingly difficult for him.

"It's not just 'some time,'" Wooyoung said. "You're shutting yourself away, avoiding everyone, and it's clear that this situation is wearing you down."

San finally raised his gaze, and his eyes were full of pain. "It's too late now. I have destroyed everything. I wanted the best for her, and instead I broke her heart."

Yunho, who was always a good listener, put his hand on his shoulder. "Maybe it's not too late. You need to talk to her. If you love her, you have to give yourself one last chance, everything can be fixed."

"I failed her." he whispered.

Jongho interjected firmly. "Everyone makes mistakes, San. But true love deserves to be fought for. Think about how much y/n means to you. Do you really want to lose her because you're afraid? Do you remember how many times she fought for you? When you were having worse times and she sensed that you might be drifting apart? Then she always fought to make sure it didn't happen, now it's your turn."

"Now the situation is different..."

"Bullshit." Hongjoong interjected. "I didn't like the idea of you two together, but what happens when you're apart is even worse. Y/n doesn't deserve a part of your heart, she deserves it and you in full, if you know you are able to give it to her, if you want to give it to her, do something about it. Do something before it's too late."

A few days later, San gathered his courage. He went to your apartment, ready to be honest. When he stood in front of your door, his heart was beating like crazy. He pressed the bell and waited, feeling how every second seemed like an eternity. You opened the door, and your surprise was obvious. "San? What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk, y/n," he said, looking you straight in the eye. "Please, give me a moment to explain."

You invited him inside, and he sat down on the couch, feeling the tension rising. "I realized that I love you, but I was afraid of this feeling. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to give you everything you wanted. But now I know that I want to be with you. I want to give you everything I have. I'm sorry for the pain I caused you. Please give me one more chance."

"San..."

"I am so sorry, y/n."

"San, I need to know that you can be honest and open about our feelings. I need to know that you are sure of what you are saying."

He took your hands in his, looking deeply into your eyes. "I promise I will be. I want us to build our future together. I love you, y/n, and I never want to lose you again. I know it won't be easy, but I want to try. I am more than sure of it, y/n, you are worth it, you are worth everything."

You were silent for a moment, listening to him with mixed emotions in your heart. His words sounded sincere however, you could not forget the pain you had experienced, but at the same time you saw and appreciated how hard San was trying to explain his feelings.

"San... It was very difficult for me. I thought I had lost you forever."

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't want you to suffer. I was a coward because I was afraid I wasn't ready for the kind of relationship you deserve."

You nodded, trying to deal with your emotions. "I still love you, Sannie." you whispered after a moment.

He lifted your hands to his lips and kissed them gently. "I promise to try to be better for you."

You took his face in your hands and wiped the tears from your cheeks with your thumbs, then moved closer to him and rested your forehead against his. "Just be yourself."

A slight smile appeared on his face, and a moment later his lips found yours. Finally, everything was in the right place.

[princessofgotham777]

Dating Jason Todd (Part One)

fanfic type: angst, fluff, comfort (ongoing)

If you liked the Titans show but wish they handled Jason’s story line differently you might like this fic!

Hey so this is in fact my first time writing fanfiction (idk what my life has come to). Sorry if it’s cringy but also I would eat this up cause I LOVE some good angsty comfort fanfiction. I won’t write smut. I don’t think I’m gonna do requests but if you have any ideas feel free to let me know. Also of course I don’t own any DC characters this is purely fanfiction. Although I’ve had tumblr for a bit I’m not really used to posting stuff so sorry if I don’t format everything well. Thank you and I hope you enjoy. (I hope you like run-on sentences💀) (if you don’t like it don’t be rude just move on dude😃🧍‍♀️) also pls excuse my grammar.

So story line, this doesn’t really take place in any specific universe but I’m gonna be pulling concepts from Titans, The Batman, Under the Red Hood, and whatever lore I remember from the CW shows cause I grew up watching those, then just my imagination of course. The beginning takes place when Jason is still Robin but he’s no longer apart of the titans. Reader is referred to as she/her btw.

Warnings: talking about death, suicide, depression, torture (it’s not graphic I hate gore it’s just sad)

Part One: Back To The Tower

“Babe? Babe!” You opened your eyes at the sound of Jason’s voice. His green eyes normally looked at you with gentleness but currently they were alarmed. Scared and scary are two things Jason normally does a good job at keeping separate, but when someone threatens his whole world the two merge to create someone dangerous to everyone, including himself.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” You asked.

“We’ve got to go, Dick called… he thinks joker is after me for some reason…I’ll explain more on our way to the tower.” Jason quickly grabbed the go bags you two had made in case something like this were to happen. He used to think having go bags was you two being paranoid but you always knew dating a vigilante would have its ups and downs.

You knew he was serious when he walked straight past his bike and headed to your car instead “Jason, slow down,” you said as he swerved around cars. He knew you hated speeding and he so he never dared do it, also because he liked not dying in a car crash.

“I’m sorry, so you know how joker has been leaving notes around Gotham?” He asks as he drives a bit slower.

“Yeah why?” You answer quickly.

“Dick called me two hours ago and said they think they’re threatens to Robin, threats to me.”

“Shit, what does joker even want with you?”

“I have no idea maybe I’m a pawn in some game he’s got going with Bruce or Dick or the titans or maybe he’s just decided I’m the next victim in his reign of fucking torment,” Jason’s voice shook slightly. You could tell he was trying to keep it together while driving; trying to keep it together infront of you. You two had been through so much together: he’d been the one you turned to when you left home, you two had been apart of titans together, he’d rescued you from poison ivy once, you talked him off the roof of the tower. You two knew each other better than you knew yourselves. Even after everything he still had a hard time voicing his emotions and honestly you did too.

“Why’d you change the fucking password asshole,” Jason said to Dick through the security camera at titans tower.

“More importantly why’d he change it and not tell us?” You said. Jason’s arm was around you, his leather jacket was a familiar feeling against your skin.

The tower brought back many memories for both you and Jason. You remembered painting your nails with Rachel while Gar and Jason tried not to burn down the kitchen. Late nights when you’d find Kori or Donna and ask for their advice when you first noticed yourself falling for Jason. They thought you were crazy of course but it all worked out, so far anyway. You remembered the first time you’d been to the tower when Dick took you in. Dick introduced you to the titans but it was Jason, who you only knew as Robin at the time, who saved your life and called Dick. Another memory you unfortunately recalled was the time after you guys got Jason back from Deathstroke. You hadn’t known pain till you saw the way he winced at the slightest touch or loud noise. Then there was his fall…your mind refocused when you saw Dick.

“Hey lovebirds,” he said with a grin.

“So what do these messages say exactly,” you said.

“Always so serious,” Dick says. You simply glare at him and he stops messing around. “Right so over the past few days there have been notes around Gotham in seemingly random places, each one is just some nonsense about circuses and birds so naturally it’s about Robin. They talk about the flying boy and encounters him and I have had he then goes on to talk about me becoming nightwing. The rest is disturbing stuff about him “wanting to pick off the feathers of the new little bird to reveal the horror inside”,”.

“Right…so seemingly random places?” Jason says.

“Yeah so, the first was found spraypainted on the stage of a highschool in Gotham, the next was spray painted on a random wall in an alley and the third was on the door of this bar…” Dick said.

“Shit,” Jason said.

“The highschool and the alley,” you said softly to Jason.

“And the bar… it’s the one my uncle took me to,”

“Someone wanna explain the significance to me,” Dick said.

“They’re places from my past,” Jason said. “The highschool I lived in, the alley I boosted the Batmobile in and the bar my uncle took me to.” You all simply stared at eachother waiting for someone to break the silence when Rachel, Gar and Kori came rushing in.

“Oh my God what are you doing here?” Rachel asked pulling you in for a hug.

“Wish I could say just to see you,” you say.

“Hey man what’s the special occasion?” Gar asks Jason.

“Unfortunately the occasion is another psycho trying to kill me,” Jason replied.

“Wait is that true? Dick is this about the joker?” Rachel asks. Dick looks at Jason who nods.

“Yes, we think joker knows Jason is the new Robin and is threatening him,” Dick says.

“No offense but isn’t this more Batman’s territory?” Kori says.

“Normally yes but he’s off doing Justice League bullshit,” Dick says.

Everyone gets comfortable and Dick explains what we know.

“So we know the notes reference Dick, Bruce and Jason but I think there’s a fourth person here,” Kori says.

“Is joker just referencing himself?” Gar says.

“I don’t think so cause…” Jason stops himself.

“Cause what?” You ask him. He doesn’t answer.

“Jason what is it what’d you find” Dick asks. Jason simply gets up and starts to walk away. Naturally you get up and begin walking after him.

Dick grabs your arm, you glare at him and he lets go, “hey let me go see what’s up just keep picking apart the notes with the others.” It was the Dick you knew, loved, and were annoyed by. The camp counselor anything is possible with teamwork Dick Grayson, the version of him which would soon have to step aside.

“Jason!” Dick says when he finds Jason in his old room which looks exactly the same. Jason doesn’t reply he simply grabs a bag and starts packing. “Going somewhere?” Dick says. Jason still doesn’t reply. “Hey, what the fuck!”

“You aren’t stupid Dick you read the fucking note,” Jason says.

“Maybe I am stupid cause I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

“Jokers not threatening me, he’s challenging me…telling me to meet him. And he’s threatening y/n saying what he’ll do if I don’t go find him.” Jason says.

“Shit,” Dick says. “Okay but all you’re going to accomplish by going by yourself is pissing me off, getting your shit rocked by joker, pissing Bruce off, and scaring your girlfriend to death all of which I’m gonna have to fix so could you not be impulsive for once!”

“You don’t think she’s already scared!” Jason says.

“Yeah I do but I think you’ll make it worse if you leave her here,”

“She’d be safer here far away from Gotham and far away from me,” Jason says.

“Hey dipshits,” Kori says as she turns the corner. “Yeah I can read too,” she also seemed to have figured out the note “So why don’t you I don’t know, include her in the conversation about what to do about the threats that are against her?”

The three of them return to see you, Gar and Rachel sitting in silence, it was clear you guys had also figured out the full message. Jason doesn’t get a chance to even fully enter the room before you get up and pull him back into his old room.

“What were you thinking not telling me?” You say.

“You didn’t sign up for this shit,” Jason says.

“I did, and I don’t just mean with you I joined titans before I even knew your name.”

Jason hesitates before saying, “you’re right, I’m sorry”

“Apology accepted so what the hell are we gonna do,” you say slipping out of your serious tone.

“First question, do you wanna go out there and work with everyone or just keep this between us,” Jason says.

“What do you wanna do?” You asked. It was clear you wanted to include the titans in the plan. You knew Jason has a complicated past with everyone in the other room but you also knew despite his own feelings he’d do whatever would keep you the safest. He hugs you softly, one last act of humanity before completely focusing on being Robin. You and Jason were fairly new to the world of having a secret identity. You both tried to keep the two personas completely separate but at the end of the day the person under the mask always has the final say when hard decisions need to be made.

The plan everyone agreed on was simple. You’d stay at the tower, with Gar and Rachel far away from Gotham and the joker. Tomorrow morning Jason, Dick and Kori would drive to Gotham and work with Barbra to catch joker. If only that were actually how it went.

You’d fallen asleep in your old room with Jason by your side, around three am you woke up and he was no where to be found. “Jason?” You said as you looked around the room. The light was already on so you could see perfectly that he was gone. Jason must’ve turned the light on when he left, he knows you hate being in the dark alone after what you went through with Poison Ivy. “Dick!” You yelled as you ran down the hall to Dick’s room. To your surprise Dick was wide awake busy on his computer.

“Y/N, what’s going on?” Dick said concerned.

“Jason’s gone.” You said.

“Fucking idiot,” Dick mumbled under his breath. He began typing quickly on his computer. “He got rid of his tracker didn’t he?”

“He cut it out ages ago,” you said frantically. Jason had vanished but both you and Dick knew exactly where he was going; he was going to face Joker alone in Gotham.

Please like if you enjoyed the fic I need to know people like it otherwise I’ll stop posting new parts (I have a whole storyline idea and backstory so like if you want to see more)🩷

Here’s my Masterlist so you can read the other parts.

Masterlist

[purble-turble]

actually, you know what would be interesting and funny you brought up the whole rebounding thing but like... what if that situation happens completely by the others (including Redson and his echo chamber friends) jumping to conclusions and planting that seed of an idea in the two heads. Mk is naturally very affectionate, physical touch is a big part of his love language. he grew up alongside mei who was just as physical and no one actually encouraged them not to be. snuggling/hugging/kissing(like quick head and cheek pecks) your homies is very normalized. he's also dealing with family and friend issues because things are really tense and he's feeling everything at a 10 right know. its not just Red he can't talk too, he can even talk to Mei as comfortably and maybe lately feels like she avoiding him in favor of prioritizing Red.

Nezha. that boy is just starved of affection both verbal and physical. period. yeah its a bit overwhelming and confusing for him at first but after he gets used to mk's love language it's like 'Oh, hey this is really nice...huh...can i do this too?' and the answer was yes of course! he slowly starts implementing little touches here and there, initiating the hugs. it's still a bit awkward for him so he ends up utilizing other forms of love language, but the effort is there and mk is ecstatic. but it starts to make the other side-eye the situation. everyone (especially tang) was on board at first cause like....its a legendary celestial warrior, he's shown to be reliable and mature and so on. surly this could only be a good influence for mk. and yeah at first they only see good things, mk seems to get a little better over time, he's even getting extra exercise training like meditation, yoga/Tai chi. stuff that is supposed to support mental and physical wellness so of course Nezha must be good! Pigsy is the first to notice that maybe there starting to get a little too close, starts drawing parallels to how mk acted with Red. he brings it up with the others. tang isn't bothered and mei isn't either at first but now that idea is in her head, and it grows over time and now shes getting suspisiou as pigsy. and maybe a little pissed. nezha and mk of course havn'ty actually thought of each other like that, there just friends for god sake! he hasn't done anything with nezha that hes already done with mei. but mk gets confronted eventually and of course, tells Nezha after the fact. they both agree everyone's being ridiculous, they are just really close friends! but internally there both secretly like '....but what if?....' Red's group of friends are just shit starters, gold medalists when it comes to jumping to conclusions, especially regarding mk. they see monkey boy chatting up and getting close with another prince and run wild with ideas they of course share with Red. they see them being physically affectionate or hear something even vaguely suggestive they are not gonna look or ask for context. hell you can give them the full context they still cherry-pick it apart like the Christian bible. anything to make Mk look as horrible as they believe he is.

Yooooo I am vibrating in my seat right now i fuckin loooove this!! 💖

You’re so right about MK’s fam thinking that Nezha will be a good influence on him at the start of things.. they have no idea that Nezha approves of the attempted sacrifice MK made at the pillar. I mean, it’s a sore spot for all of them, so it’s likely just not brought up in casual settings. The first time they catch a glimpse of it is probably a tense moment where someone tried to point out to MK that he was taking on too much again and exhausting himself.. but instead of getting a bit sheepish saying he’ll take better care of himself like he might have done before, he stands firm and is like ‘No, I can handle this! These are my problems and I’m going to handle them.’ And Nezha is spotted in the background with a lil smile and an agreeing nod and… ok. That’s weird.

As for the romantic aspect of it, them being a little oblivious about their budding romantic feelings at first and having to have it pointed out by the others how close they’ve gotten is sooooo good! I’m always a sucker for oblivious MK, but I can fully see Nezha being exactly like that too.

Mei for sure shares with Prince Red that she thinks MK has gotten weirdly close to Nezha lately.. and Red has already noticed that MK has been coming by to try to win him back less and less… could it be he’s really been replaced that easily? It’s… kind of hard to think MK would move on so quickly, especially because he is probably still struggling with it. Maybe he even goes to check it out for himself and spots MK and Nezha out together on a stroll. And look, MK is holding hands with the lotus prince and… oh. kisses his cheek… that’s… pretty hard to not interpret as romantic.

Even if Red knows MK and a little niggling doubt in the back of his mind can be like ‘well, he’s like that with Mei too so maybe???’ If he’s already primed to be looking for it by Mei (and also his own already hurt feelings) then this would be pretty clear confirmation of his fear that MK has moved on and is romantically involved with Nezha now. Also yeah it for sure doesn’t help that all Prince Red’s friends are gonna add fuel to this fire once he tells them about it, just like you said. They never thought MK was good enough for Red, so why would they put it past him to move on from him really fast too?

Haha, anyway, once MK’s fam start asking more pointed questions about their relationship, MK and Nezha might even have a frank discussion about it. They’re more open with each other than they are with anybody else, after all, since there’s no fear of judgement or moralizing from sharing how they actually feel. In any case, even if they can’t manage to have the straight up discussion, the displays of affection definitely get more frequent on both ends and things progress that way regardless~

[accio-victuuri]

xiao zhan elle september issue cover story Q&A

ELLE: During this rest period, do you think about things that happened on the set?

Xiao Zhan: Of course, I remember a few days after the filming was finished, I had a dream that we were still filming, and the director and I were still discussing how to say that word? How to handle that scene?

ELLE: Do you actually miss the atmosphere on the set?

Xiao Zhan: I like it very much, because I like the feeling of everyone creating together and working together to get something done.

ELLE: When you first entered the entertainment industry and your popularity grew rapidly, you said that it felt a bit unreal and magical, but now you seem to be quite relaxed. How did this change happen?

Xiao Zhan: Rather than saying it’s unreal or magical, after so many years I feel that I haven’t had time to adapt to the fast pace at that time, so when I wake up from sleep, where am I today? What am I doing? I think it’s a process, just like when you first enter the workplace, everyone is very excited, "I’m here to work, please take good care of me", "I’m here, everyone get out of the way", "I can do it, I can do it". (Laughs) But after experiencing a lot of things, I feel that everything needs to be planned for the long term.

ELLE: In several interviews you mentioned that you like to play roles that "can convey energy". Why do you have such a preference?

Xiao Zhan: Because I think it is the life of the character. The kind of energy I am talking about is not just a single positive energy in the general sense. I mean the nutrition that can be subtle and silent. I believe that every character has a complete story line in his heart. This is what I like very much. As long as you dig deep, you can move people. I don’t like to call the villain a "villain", as if it is defined as a bad character from the beginning, but it is not. He may have his own difficulties.

ELLE: It sounds like “transmitting energy” is just a general term. Is it actually about understanding different people through performance?

Xiao Zhan: Yes, if we break it down to each character, they all convey different things. But if we say they are “good guys” or “bad guys”, I think that’s meaningless.

ELLE: So do you think acting is a form of communication?

Xiao Zhan: Yes, you can say that. I think it’s great to say that (acting) is a bridge to communicate with the audience. Just like when a play is broadcast, I will read some of the audience’s comments and impressions, and feel that they have a rich feeling about the work. When I see some comments that are exactly the same as my thoughts when filming, I feel very magical, as if this bridge is really connected. We don’t know each other in life, and we haven’t communicated, but he suddenly got my thoughts at the time, and I felt that, oh, acting is a very beautiful and magical thing.

ELLE: Do you watch some science fiction movies, TV shows, and literary works?

Xiao Zhan: Yes, I used to like watching "The Three-Body Problem". I have watched some science fiction movies recently, the American TV series "The Stars", and recently I am watching "The Replica". They are all about infinite flow and parallel time and space. Because I think there may really be parallel time and space. Every choice you make will split into a different parallel time and space.

ELLE: Do you imagine Xiao Zhan in a parallel universe?

Xiao Zhan: I really wonder, for example, is he still an actor? Maybe, is he still filming now? Is he still singing now? Or is he still a designer? Is he working for others or is he his own boss? (Laughs) Really, I really wonder.

ELLE: What do you think the future will be like?

Xiao Zhan: Wow, I think the world might return to its original state at that time, and the world might become a better place, and people would return to the most basic communication with each other.

ELLE: This is very interesting. Why do you think so?

Xiao Zhan: Anyway, at least now I am a little disgusted with the ubiquitous Internet. When we were young, when there were no mobile phones, we would chat while eating, and we would call our friends downstairs to play hide-and-seek and various games. I think that time was very precious.

ELLE: Will the profession of actor still exist by then?

Xiao Zhan: I think there will be. I believe that as long as life goes on, drama will continue. Because everyone needs an output, needs emotional resonance and sustenance, whether it is images or sounds. So I think that even if the world is destroyed, as long as there are still people, drama will definitely exist.

-END.

source

[sirwadewilsonfromimgur]

Deadpool and Wolverine: KCAU Christmas Special

[Authors note: it is a Christmas miracle that I got this chapter out today... Merry Christmas! The next chapters will still be Christmas themed well into the new year]

Part 3

Home coming.

The flight was nice, and it was pleasant to not be molested by the TSA and hobble around waiting for them to finish looking at Greg's Cain. Always annoying, what could anyone possibly sneak in a cain that wasn't an already affective weapon other than the cain itself! And don't say a sword because those cheap things can ba spotted a mile away everyone knows your gothy cain with a cobra head handle has a long knife on the end of it we here it clanging every step you take.

Ellie picked them up at the Wheeler airport, excited to see her bother and his friend.

She was right there on the tarmac. The second James was off the plane, she jumped, grabbed him in a hug, and spun him around with a strength one wouldn't suspect from the 6 foot tall women of average looking build.

I've missed you so much! Though you did spoil my fun. I was going to kidnap you myself if you didn't show up! I even had a big bag picked out, I was going to put you in!

I hope it was a nice one. You know how burlap is chaffing.

It was a big red Santa bag... wanted to be festive for dad!

Ellie was always playfully teasing of her brother... typical of most siblings... but in career and personality, she more openly took after their father Wade. Ellie was a premier assassin and jr executive of MFM "the Family business" Ellie was in charge of the black ops devision, doing "wet work" for world governments that want culpable deniability when someone turns up dead. Ellie loved her job, her dad's, and her brother and sister... everyone else should probably live in fear.

Greg looked at her, Ellie was of darker complexion than James. but in the face, you could tell they were related, James had told him that technically, she was his half-sister... but they never regard each other as such. That was his sister full stop, they grew up together and only ever knew Wade and Logan as parents.

In a bubble gum sweet voice, she informed James and Greg that this year was going to be a blowout!

It's going to be great this year, little brother Aunt Vanessa and Dermot, Uncle Colossus, Peter, Jeff, Laura, Warhead, Yukio, Dopender, Father Kurt, and Uncle Morph are all going to be at Christmas eve dinner. Dad is making his famous Lasagna and Papa cought two pheasants with his bare fucking hands for Christmas day dinner it was amazing! Don't worry, Greg. we'll have prime rib for Christmas dinner as well if you find the bird to gamey.

Wait... circle back... Uncle Morph is going to be in town... will he be staying the night?

They got him a room at the Westin Crown Center... why?

You know why!

Oh.... ooohhhh, ha! I guess Dad and Papa really are going to have a Merry Christmas.

What's wrong with having your uncle Morph staying the night? ... and why do half of the people mentioned have weird names? Morph, Warhead, Colossus?

Morph's birth name is Kevin... he just doesn't like to use it... and frankly, dads not a fan it either, so that's what we all call him. Just a preference. As for why it's a concern... I'll tell you later.

Don't be so shy, James. You brought him home for Christmas, so he must be family... its ok if he knows that our parents and uncle Morph fuck nasty any time he's in town.

Jesus christ, Ellie! You know how uncomfortable talking about them like that makes me. *visibly shudders*

I can't help that our parents are possibly the hornie-est men to ever walk the earth! Might as we joke about it.

Well, that totally makes sense about James then.

I don't like where you're going with this House!

What, the offspring of concupiscent old men is clearly bothered by overt sexuality because he, in truth. has had three divorces because he can't keep it in his perverbial pants!

I knew i liked you Greg! *laughs loudly*

I'm not a psychologist, but it sounds like he's got you nailed down, little brother

As she said this, she turned the car into the driveway of the tower they'd both called home. She again let out a chuckle when she saw in the rear view mirror the deep shade of red James was currently blushing.

One park place hadn't changed much. At least not in a way one could detect. The on-site security was now directly contracted through MFM at very reasonable rates, and every floor had been fitted with bomb resistant glass... at least since "the incident" in 2058... Logan and Wade had paid through the teeth for that little upgrade. But other than that, they were actually at peace with their neighbors. 700 W 31st Street was probably the second most secure building in the city. The only one more secure being the Federal Reserve Bank building down the street. Things were going well until they got to the 19th floor, and Greg triped James coming out of the elevator.

My dad probably saw that! Ass!

Saw what! I don't know what you're talking about. Also, are you gonna run to your daddy all week with your problems?

He's actually probably right... there are security cameras... this is the most secure floor in the building. Just our place and neighbor Dave... you're cute, Greg, but I'd take it easy joshing with your boyfriend... dad wouldn't hesitate to shoot you point blank if he thinks you're a threat to one of his babies.

He's not my boyfriend...

Sure James....

See what I have to deal with Ellie!? He breaks my heart!

They approached the ornate double doors that lead into the condo... Penthouse would be a better description. They were actually new. A veneer of teak wood covering inch thick steel with intricate carvings of bullets, swords, claws, guns, and battle scenes. It looked like it belonged on the front of a temple dedicated to God's of war and violence... Ellie put a key in the door, unlocked it, and opened it.

No sooner than they had passed the threshold like a flash Logan was on all fours running at them. Closing the distance, he pounced arms wide open, knocking all three on the ground. Sniffing them and kissing their cheeks, Logan allowed himself to go a little feral and play rough with his kits. It was the holiday season after all... The fact that Gregory was caught in the crossfire knocked on his ass into the dog pile was another problem entirely!

My babies! ... and some guy? *Sniff* Why do you smell a little like Wade!?

For the love of god, please get off my leg!

Logan stood up and helped Greg to his feet. James handed him his cain as Greg quickly pulled out a pill bottle from his jacket pocket and dry swallowed three pills.

By this time, Wade had already walked up to them.

Sorry about my husband. He's very excited to see all of you. I hope you're ok... If you're not, I hope Kitten had you sign the traditional family liability release forms...

Is that a thing now?

It's not Kitten. Wade extended a hand to Greg... he'd slipped a hundred dollars in his hand by way of apology... I know who you are! It's nice to finally meet you, James talks an unhealthy amount about you. I always did like a guy named Hugh. He said, winking at us.

*Confused* my name is Gregory House, Mr. Wilson.

Sure, it is sun-shine, also Ick don't call me that... it's Wade, or Deadpool if ya nasty...

Leaving Greg to deal with pleasantries by himself, Jams grabbed his and House's Bags. Turned right and walked down the halway like he'd done thousands of times in the past. He detected the faint smell of cigar smoke as he walked past the office. It triggered a little nostalgia. It smelled like his dad Logan and the bear hugs he'd given him when he was a child. He always fet safe in the man's massive arms... truth be told for all the madness of his father's... James always felt safe at home. They were a danger to themselves and definitely others... but not him. They'd do anything for him. He was always quietly grateful for that aspect of his childhood.

He'd walk all the way down the hall... last door on the left. His room, the room he was born in, as a matter of fact. Apart from being immaculately clean, it was just as he'd left it since he moved out. It was December. The sun was already setting over the horizon... soon, the automatic blackout curtains would come down and block the entire east wall of his room made entirely of floor to ceiling windows.

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Before that though the golden glow reflected off the fresh snow was brilliant. In the distance he could make out the top of the massive tree in the heart of crown center. The view is bitter sweet... he remembers loving christmas as a kid... it was the only time for sure that both his dad's were home and "Santa" never held back... it was always an embarrassment of riches... now... now christmas was exhausting... there was never enough time, and Wade Wilson didn't exactly loose his zeal, he got older and leaned more into to christmas... James knew he was due to get roped into a big family Christmas sooner or later... he skipped the last two Christmases... his dad face timed him so that he was sure to see the tears...

He tossed the bags on the ridiculously large Texas king bed... he'd unpack later, unless Mrs. Mangracina, the ancient cleaning lady who'd been working there since before he was born, decided to do it... not one of her official responsibilities, but she did shit like that anyway... she fancied herself a butler for the family at times. to James, she was more of a second grandma, only Italian flavored... she and his grandma Al were actually pretty close. They'd go to bingo and Mass at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Catholic Church on Broadway. She'd confided in the family that she lost her best friend when Althea passed... James fully expected her to be there at Christmas Eve dinner, not as an employee but as a guest and member of the family. A lot of people were going to be there...

If Luara was going to be here she'd take up the guest room... no one was allowed in Grandma's room since she'd passed away... house was in For a surprise... they'd be sharing a bed this week.

Later that night at dinner, Gregory had pulled all of his usual antics and made himself look like a perfect ass... he'd eaten food off James's plate... to the point of just straight-up switching plates with him. telling embarrassing stories and wildly inappropriate jokes at the table... the only people laughing, being Wade and Ellie. They didn't realize what kind of gasoline they were throwing on the fire by encouraging him... or maybe they did. Agents of chaos the both of them. Logan was stoic in the face of it as usual, while Laura actually popped her claws and announced that's enough when she thought Greg punched James a little too hard when he was punctuating a joke at his expense.

The perfect start to a week that was guaranteed to get more chaotic... shortly after Greg and James retired to his bedroom...

James had already showered and settled in to bed with a book when Greg exited the bathroom in his pajamas.

What the fuck is that!

Pointing on at the grayish blue ball of wrinkles cuddling on the bed...

It's Merry, Greg. Do you need an MRI you saw my dad feeding here when we had dinner...

Sorry, let me rephrase. Why the fuck is that... specifically why is it in the bed... Marry has always slept with me since I was little... you didn't let Hector in the Bed?

I didn't... hold on... how old is that dog?

Well, my parents had her before I was born... so tack on a few years, I'd say 47 give or take.

That's impossible...

She's like my Dad's... I'm not a hundred percent certain she can die. My Aunt Vaness told me that Mary is an alternate universe version of my dad, Wade... that's why she's always been close with me... I'm her puppy.

Kitten... puppy... you got any more weird pet names?

Why... you feeling romantic?

Greg looked at James with disgust and then shot a look at the dog with less disgust and more incredulity. Quickly changing the subject.

Thats cute and all, but I'm going to sleep on the couch. I can't have a dog jumping on me or you kicking me...

*Sigh* Greg, this bed is so big it'd take effort to kick you... but also, I promise you'd be less comfortable out there. Unless you got ear plugs.

Why?

this is the best room for the noise you can't hear anything on this side of the condo... you don't want to be within ear shot of the Master bedroom here in about an hour... even with all the soundproofing... Also, having guests in the house doesn't always stop them from fighting.

They fight, every night?

Like clock work... some nights are worse than others, sometimes they throw things... I'm almost certain they throw each other across the room. But that's not the worst of it... first comes the screams of pain... and then... I can't believe I'm saying this much less thinking about it... the screams of Ecstasy...

They fight as foreplay?

Yes, and I haven't been ok since I was 15 and figured that out... if my Grandma was still alive, she'd go into great detail about how they used to be worse.

Wait, isn't the guest room next to their room?

Laura Went to a bar, she won't be home until their *gags* done.

Fine... you and your rodent mother scoot over.

Careful how you talk to Mary... she's smarter than most people give her credit for...

Noted, I guess since she's your mom, she's in here chaparoning... so hands above the blankets tonight.

He winked at the dog, who shockingly winked back. Greg shook his head as he got into bed using a few extra pillows to build a barricade between his bad leg and Wilson who despite how big the bed was, is a notorious sleep kicker.

We'd better get some sleep... it's going to be a long week.

Wilson turned out the lights and slowly sleep overcame them.

Link to part 4

[ghoul-bonez]

~You Know What it is to Mourn~

(Sully Family x Fem! Reader)

Summary: Your life had been through a few drastic changes recently, but it was okay because you were all together. Now that you weren’t you found yourself struggling.

Word count: 2.5k

Author’s note: A Lover, Not a Fighter PART 4!!! Final part enjoy! (Or don’t because heavy on the angst) I was gonna wait until Monday to post this but might as well get it done today, so very early post!

Warnings: Loss of a loved one, child loss, depression

Last - Next

~Series Masterlist~

~Main Masterlist~

You Know What it is to Mourn

You could think of many times you had considered your life had been turned upside down, most of them being more recent than not, but you had all been so wrong every time. Now your life has been flipped on its head.

The first time you could remember feeling your life had been flipped upside down was longer ago, when you fell for Neytiri. It wasn’t necessarily falling for her, you had always been hopelessly in love with her, but it was when you admitted to yourself you loved her. She had been your whole world as long back as you could remember. She meant everything to you.

Then you had not just admitted it to yourself, but also her, and she loved you too. You began to court each other, and were free to show your love as much as you wanted, as publicly as you wanted. You were free from holding yourself in, and could truly be yourself with Neytiri, no longer having to hold in your emotions. She would give you anything you wanted, but all you wanted was her love.

Then there was Jake. When he had come around you were hesitant to talk to him, more so to be around him because you couldn’t talk to him. You may not have spoken the same language, but over time you grew close by your love for Neytiri. Then much like you love Neytiri, you love him, but you were conflicted by him being a sky person. Neytiri loved him though, so you allowed yourself to as well.

Neteyam was a surprise, but a welcome one. He had thrown you head first into parenthood, and you were glad it was him and not Lo’ak looking back on it. He was an amazing baby, perfect perhaps. He never cried, never fussed. Even as a toddler he never threw temper tantrums. He was your shining star. Your mighty warrior who was meant for great things, meant to succeed.

Kiri and Lo’ak were the middle children, but came soon after Neteyam, quickly turning your small family of four into a large family of six. It was a lot to handle, but you wouldn’t trade them for the world. They were like two peas in a pod, and many people wouldn’t see the similarities between them, but you could. They both wanted to live up to their parents, but were cold in their shadows. You wouldn’t let them stay there though.

Your last child was your only biological one, Tuk. You loved all of your children equally, but Tuk would always be a little different. She had quickly become your sun, you revolving around her. She was young, hadn’t yet seen how cruel the outside world was, the world outside your family, and you wanted nothing more than to keep her happy and safe.

You had thought Quaritch’s first attack on your children was the day your life was really flipped upside down, even over all of the flips and turns before. You had hoped it couldn’t get worse, but life isn’t meant to be perfect. It’s meant to be messy, but in the end everything would be okay.

You were ready to deal with Quaritch, to fight him and his squad to keep your family safe, but you had planned on doing it at home. Moving to Awa’atlu was overwhelming for everyone, uprooting and starting a new life. You had eventually learned to live how you were now, and you were happy once more.

And now as you look back on it it all seems so insignificant. Now you know what it means for your life to truly be flipped upside down. Your world shattered, your life wasting away.

When the sky people attacked once again you knew it was serious. Not only you had been wrapped up in the web of violence but now the Metkayina people were too. The sky people had come after them, but the end goal was you, your family, Jake.

There was no time to hesitate, no time to flail in panic, and you were a lover, not a fighter, so you had decided to stay home while Jake and Neytiri went to fight. You wanted to fight, to keep the ones you love safe, but that wasn’t realistic.

Instead your plan was to stay and help head the healers, put in charge by Ronal, who had finally allowed you to help her with her duties after an elder healer retired. You would heal the warriors who came back throughout the battle as they fell back.

It was safe, it was something you could do, something you knew how to do. So you stayed behind, and did your job, helping people as they came back.

You waited, head shooting up from your work anytime someone new would come back, hoping that each person would be a member of your family.

You were jumpy, so when you heard people calling out that your family was in sight you rushed to the beach, the waves of the ocean being warped by your feet that stood on the edge between the sand and the sea. You tried to calm yourself, to be stable for your children who had just been shown the true violence of war.

You felt your heart rate rise as you waited and when you saw your kids swimming back on ilus you couldn’t help but to cry. They were safe, they were okay.

Lo’ak reached you first and you pulled him in, inspecting him and searching for serious wounds, but there were none, he was only covered in small scratches and scrapes. He may have been okay physically, but he was wounded in his heart, tear stains on his face, and you pulled him into a tight hug.

“You’re okay…” You sighed.

“I’m okay, mama.” He muttered, like he was confirming it for himself as well.

Then tuk shouted out, “Mama!” Running to you and throwing herself at you.

Kiri was close behind her, and you checked them over just like you had Lo’ak. Kiri was the least injured, and Tuk had what looked like rope burns around her wrists, like she had been fighting against restraints. Seeing them like this broke your heart.

They were okay, but they both had tears just like their brother, they must have been so scared, so hurt. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how they were feeling, you didn’t want to know, but you wanted to help them heal, so you would have to know. Not right now though. For now you looked for the child that was missing, the last child, your first child.

You waited for a second, holding your breath and looking to the horizon waiting for Neteyam to come into sight, but he wasn’t coming. You felt your heart rise to your throat, you knew something was wrong, but you wouldn’t admit that to yourself.

Where was Neteyam?

You couldn’t wait anymore, “Where is your brother?” You asked Kiri. She couldn’t answer that, she couldn't tell you, and so she stayed silent, leaving someone else to answer.

When Tuk started crying your heart stopped. What had happened? You couldn’t stop your heart from speeding up as you looked to Lo’ak for an answer.

He was hesitant, “He’s with mom and dad…” he trailed off.

You were relieved to hear that, but you knew deep down that what Lo’ak was telling you wasn’t the truth. Not the whole truth, but you chose to ignore that, he was okay, just with your mates. Everyone was okay.

So you waited, and waited, and waited. You waited for what felt like a million years but was more like a few minutes until you saw Jake and Neytiri on the horizon. Neytiri was on an ilu instead of her ikran, which was odd, your first clue that something was wrong. The second clue that something was wrong was that Neteyam wasn’t next to them. You couldn’t see three people, only two.

Then they got close enough and you saw Neteyam, limp in Jake’s arms as the tsurak he was on swam towards you. Something was very wrong, Neteyam was knocked out, there were so many problems that ran through your mind.

Lo’ak could tell you were worried, shocked, so he grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly. It brought a moment of calm, but it didn’t keep your worries away for long, it couldn't keep your worries away.

Neytiri noticed you on the shoreline, exchanging a look with Jake, before speeding up and meeting you there. She ran into your arms, and when she noticed tears in your eyes she couldn’t help but let her tears fall again, sobbing openly in your arms.

You stood there holding her, and rubbing circles on her back. You told yourself you had to be strong right now, for her, for the children, but when you made eye contact with Jake you couldn’t help but break. He looked so broken, and he had always been a little broken, you could see it in his eyes anytime you looked at him, but now it was far more visible than ever before.

You wanted so badly to run to Jake and take Neteyam from his arms, to heal him from any wounds the world had given him, but something stopped you.

Fear. Fear was stopping you.

You feared what you would find if you got too close. You feared how broken you would feel when you saw the injury that had Neteyam laying limp in his dad’s arms. You feared not being able to heal him.

What you didn’t know was you wouldn’t have to heal him, wouldn’t be able to heal him.

That became apparent when Jake carefully dismounted the tsurak, trudging through the water towards you, and you could see no breath in Neteyam’s chest. There was no movement. No movement anywhere, and as Neteyam was still the rest of the world around you went still as well.

You couldn’t help the sob that ripped through you as you crumbled to your knees. You didn’t even need to touch him, to feel him void of a heartbeat, to know he was gone.

You screamed and sobbed as Neytiri held you in her arms, the roles reversed from earlier, now she was being strong for you.

Jake stopped in front of you, falling to his knees and allowing you to fully see your son. His eyes were closed, which was a relief to you as you couldn’t see the life void from them. His skin was pale and cold as you held his hand in yours. Your eyes looked over his body looking for the cause of his death, and when they found the bullet hole your heart sank.

You knew the truth, but ignored it, somehow holding onto hope that he was just passed out, not dead, just asleep. You ignored the fact that an injury of that severity was definitely fatal, and you didn’t know how long it had been since he sustained it. You ignored the stiffness and cold of his fingers. You ignored the way Jake held him like he hadn’t in years, cradling him in his arms like a baby. You ignored the way Neytiri couldn’t look at you, not having to form tsaheylu to feel your pain. You ignored the way your children were practically shaking next to you, feeling as if you should have been there when he had passed, not them.

You couldn’t help it as your head fell to his chest, your ear laying flat against it. You couldn’t focus on trying desperately to hear his heartbeat over the coldness and clamminess of his dull skin. When you stilled yourself, your body and racing mind, and heard no heartbeat your world crashed down around you.

He was gone, and there was no way you could bring him back, no matter how hard you tried he would forever be gone. Forever.

You couldn’t believe he was gone, even after confirming it yourself. You denied him being gone, he wasn’t gone, he was just away. You denied it when your partners would ask you how you were doing, implying that he was gone. You denied it when your children would come to you for comfort. You knew they missed him, you knew they were suffering, grieving like you, but he wasn’t gone so why would you need to comfort them?

Then eventually after him being absent long enough, missing mealtimes, gatherings, and family meetings, you grew angry. How could he leave you? How could he leave your partners, his other parents? How could he leave his siblings? He had hurt you, and everyone else who loved him, and you were furious. He could have held on a little longer, he could have tried to live a little longer. Just long enough to get home, to get to you. You could have healed him, brought him back to the safety of life, and if you couldn’t heal him he could have at least waited so you could say goodbye.

Once you realized it wasn’t his choice to leave you couldn’t be angry anymore. Then you began bargaining, with whoever you could. You bargained with Neytiri to take you to the Spirit Tree, to see him one last time, but she denied you, not believing you were ready. You bargained with Jake to just hold you, and to talk to you, but he denied you too, he was grieving on his own, still in the beginning stages of anger. You bargained with Lo’ak to tell you what his final moments were like, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell his mama.

Depression overcame you quickly and smoothly. It was like the ocean swallowing the beach as the tide rose, and it came in waves, some days benign better than others. On the better days you could get out of your home, help Ronal and the other healers with tasks around the clan. On the worst days you couldn’t even find the strength to get out of bed. You would lay there all day, depending on your partners, who were also grieving themselves, to help you function. You hated to see your depression rubbing off on your children, and you hoped it wasn’t you specifically. Instead you hoped it was them going through the same stages as you, but you couldn’t help but worry when little Tuk would lay with you and cry all day.

You had cried, and cried, and cried some more, but eventually the tears dried up. Your feelings didn’t subside, but they became easier to deal with. The dark, threatening, storm cloud of depression rained all it had to rain and moved away with the breeze. You accepted he was gone, and how that made you feel, and you were okay with that. You were finally feeling okay.

You know what it is to mourn, but now you can move on, not from loving him, but from the pain of him being gone. Neteyam was gone, but within you, and the Great Mother, he will live forever.

Word Bank:

Metkayina (Ocean Na’vi)

Ilu (Main Metkayina transportation)

Ikran (Mountain Banshee)

Tsurak (Skimwing)

Tsaheylu (The Bond)

Spirit Tree (Metkayina sacred tree)

@im-in-a-pansexual-panik - @ducks118 - @ssc7514 - @sully-stick-together - @gg-trini

[iguana-eyanna]

Baby Girl

Pairing: Niall Horan x curvy reader

Summary: after a night of drinking, you and Niall realize that you're more than flirtatious friends

Warnings: mature themes, explicit language and unprotected sex.

The music was thumping, the bass reverberating through the club as Niall and you made your way to the bar. You were both a little tipsy, having indulged in a few too many drinks during the night out with your friends. The playful banter that had become both your trademark was in full swing, as you teased each other with witty comebacks and flirtatious remarks.

"I swear that these heels would be the death of me." You said out loud.

"Thought you had that spot reserved for me?" Niall asked, smirking as he closed in.

You rolled your eyes as you turn around, grinding in front of him seductively.

"Try all you want lover boy, but you can't handle all of this." You said, biting your bottom lip as your cheeks heated up.

Niall couldn't deny of how much he needed you.

"I'll do my best."

You met on the Voice where you did a guest appearance. He thanked Kelly as you were a guest on her show to promote your latest album. Once you said you were a fan of the singing competition show, Kelly invited you with no hesitance. You kicked it off with the other judges as Kelly introduced you to Niall after the show. He was blown away by your voice and the way you brightened up the room.

You two kicked it off quite strongly, already skipping the awkward of meeting someone for the first time. Everyone witnessed it. Tabloids and late night shows were already skeptilizing that you two were an item. Kelley, Chance, and Blake would even tease Niall when he was tying the knot with you.

All he could do was chuckle and shake his head.

But tonight, with the alcohol fueling his emotions, he found himself looking at you differently. Everything about you was beautiful to him, and he couldn't help but admire how you carried yourself with such grace and charm.

As you stood at the bar, waiting for the bartender to take your order, Niall's gaze lingered. You were wearing a stunning green dress that hugged your curves in all the right places, and he couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to touch you, to taste your lips.

Niall leaned in closer to your ear, whispering with his husky voice. "What can I get you, Baby Girl?"

Your cheeks flushed at Niall's sudden change in tone. You were used to your flirty banter with him, but the way he called you "baby girl" sent shivers down your spine. You couldn't deny the attraction you felt towards him either, and the alcohol was making your inhibitions slip away.

"You know what I like," you replied, with your voice slightly breathless.

Niall ordered drinks and you two found a quiet corner to sit in. As the night went on, your conversation grew more intimate, and touches more lingering.

"I never realized you wanted to be an author." Niall asks when he just asked you what occupation you would do if you didn't pursue music.

"Yeah, I really loved to write stories when I was kid. When I got older, I took every opportunity just to write. Had to wake up from that dream when my University denied to publish one of my works I was most proud of."

"Hey." Niall said, placing a gentle hand on your thigh.

"They don't deserve to have your works publish, you can do that yourself, cause you know why? You're the most talented, gorgeous person I know. Those who say otherwise can come through me." Niall said, defending your honor.

The sexual tension between you two was palpable, and Niall found it harder and harder to resist the temptation to kiss you.

You could visibly see him staring at your lips, but you realized that this wasn't the right moment.

With enough drunken courage, you dared to say the sentence that would change your friendship forever.

"How far is your place from here?"

Before he knew it, you were both outside, the cool night air hitting you two as you stumbled towards an Uber. Niall's hand found its way to the small of your back, pulling you closer to him. You didn't protest, instead leaning into his touch, your own hands gripping his shoulders. The ride felt like an eternity, as you tried to take your hands away from him but you couldn't.

When you reached Niall's apartment, the moment of truth arrived. Niall hesitated for a moment, his heart pounding in his chest. He had never been one for casual hookups, but he couldn't deny these feelings stirring inside his chest. And the way you looked at him with those dark, longing eyes made him lose all reason.

Without another word, Niall pulled you into his apartment and closed the door behind him.

You leaned towards the wall as you tried to untie the strings of your heels.

Niall closed the distance between you and whispered to you.

"Let me."

He slowly bends and unties the wraps around your legs. You look down, thinking this is the most sexiest thing anyone has done for you. Once he was done, you lift his chin up to connect your eyes back to his.

"I need to know what we're about to do isn't a mistake. I don't want to be a regret."

Niall got up, hovering as his hand leaned over you as your back laid flat to the wall.

"You will never be a regret. I want this, and I want you... more than you know."

Without hesitation, your lips crashed together in a hungry, desperate kiss, hands roaming each other's bodies with urgency. The heat between the two of you was electric, as the desire for each other reached a fever pitch.

Niall's hands slid down to your waist, pulling you closer to him as he whispered against your lips, "You're mine, baby girl."

Your breath hitched at his words, and found yourself melting into Niall's embrace. His hands traveled to the back of your dress, trying to find your zipper as you tried unbuckling his pants.

You both staggered upstairs half dressed as you landed onto his bed. His piercing blue eyes try to memorize every part of your skin. All was left was your underwear and Niall had to resist from tearing it straight off your body. He uses his finger to drag down the little material and trailed it down your legs.

He released a breath, sitting up a bit. He combs his fingers through your hair and kisses you softly. You melt under his hot touch as you closed your eyes. Niall hastily undresses himself soon he finds his hands on your waist, steadying you on top of him.

You gasp as you began to feel him within you. His hands hold you tighter as you began to have a steady rhythm.

"God, you're fuckin- perfect." Niall huffs out.

You smirked down at him as you bite your bottom lip.

"I can say the same about you..." you teased.

Niall became undone with your words. Your confidence, your beauty, and damn that luscious body - all he could see was stars.

You thought the same about him: the way he held you so tenderly and how his eyes looked up to you like you were a goddess.

You both wished that the night wouldn't end.

By the end, you two were breathless (almost lifeless too.) You laid down next to him, placing a hand on Niall's heaving chest.

"Next time, you're on top." You said, catching your breath.

Niall looks over at you with a twinkle in his eye.

"Next time?" He asks.

"Well, we'll just see by morning." You said, knowing he's teasing you as you're already sinking in the pillow next to him.

His hands glue back to your side as he pulls you in.

"Oh, you'll like what I have planned," he said before you two drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, you felt light-headed as you turned around to meet Niall. He was nowhere to be found. You thought he somehow left for work but you were gladly wrong when you saw him coming in shirtless, holding a tray of breakfast and drinks.

"Wasn't sure if you wanted coffee or juice, so I made both." Niall said, walking towards the bed and laid the breakfast tray on the mattress.

You smile, holding the blanket over your chest as you sat up.

"It's definitely a coffee morning." You said, grabbing the mug.

"Wanted treat my baby girl." he said as he grabbed the other glass, taking a sip.

"Thank you Ni, you're definitely the sweetest man I ever met." You said, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

His cheeks grew red by your action, so he took your free hand and kissed it.

"I want to spend these mornings with you, and hopefully to be with you if you'd like to." He asks, his heart slightly thumping as he awaits your answer.

You place the coffee down by his nightstand and turn to him, smiling like you're lovesick.

"I'd like that very much." You said, as you two began to kiss and laid down on the bed.

Let's just say the breakfast Niall just made was long forgotten.

[imminent-danger-came]

Very very sorry for the spam but you are the only person outside of my immediate friend group who enjoys both shadowpeach AND dragonfruit in the very specific way that I do 🛐🛐🛐

Like I am the BIGGESTTTTT believer in aroace swk who has only ever really loved mcq in That Specific Way. Like not romantic but also not completely platonic— he loved him and he loved him in a way he never loved anyone else which is what mattered most. And mcq I see as...idk! Maybe he's aroace too, regardless I think he also loved and only loved swk BECAUSE he was swk. That is all that ever mattered to him. That it was swk. Loyal to a fault; even after swk hurt him so much, even after he hurt swk just as much. (Haha this is just like I'm Your Man by Mitski—)

And I do NOT see them as cutesy or as like a sweet and domestic couple. They are FAR from over their many, many issues and they will always have that bit of toxicity and hurt no matter how much they may hypothetically mellow out bc the ways in which they hurt each other WAS unforgivable. But the thing is, does that even matter? Does it matter if they'll still love each other anyways? If, in the end, all they ever wanted was to be by each others side even as they were covered in each others blood and blinded by their own heartbreak, anger, and hatred. Love. Obsession. Whatever it was that they felt for each other.

I also like,,, even if they somehow hypothetically hot their shit together enough to be a "functioning couple", I do not see them w any of the typical relationship labels like I think mcq would hurl if u called swk his boyfriend, husband, lover, etc like PLEASE I understand not everyone will have the same opinions and ship dynamics and I respect it, but I have a very specific view on their relationship and they are neither romantic or platonic, but a secret third thing. But they are also actually both. Whatever it is, it's love. A love that grew sharp and bent in its intensity when that love festered into a hatred that edged the line of obsession far too many times to ever be "normal" hatred.

Okay I think I've ranted enough. For now. Thankyou very much if u read all of this I have so very many shadowpeach thoughts 🛐

OMG HELLO

You are the only person outside of my immediate friend group who understands shadowpeach the way I do

I could honestly also read Macaque as allo, but no matter what their relationship is so aspec/arospec to me. Like whatever their bond was, it didn't matter because they had each other. Until they didn't. Until they knew their relationship was one of hatred. Until it was somehow even more complicated.

What drives me crazier is at this point, they would both choose MK over each other. It's pretty clear that Macaque expected Wukong to sacrifice himself in MK's place v ("He needs to know it's not all on him" "It doesn't always have to be you!" "Get the kid you idiot" "Wukong..."), because that was what he was willing to loose. He had already lost Wukong before, but MK? He's someone neither Macaque or Wukong could bear leaving them (the way they left each other). Like s5 committed so hard in the run motif ("You're the one always running off!"), and MK has been set up to be the one to leave Wukong since like s2.

It's also rare for me to run into another dragonfruit fan!! Tbh it is kinda just the text, but I find them so interesting. Like what if Mei handled the worst parts of Red Son better than he ever did. What if their mentor/mentee dynamic parallels MK and Macaque ("You don't use a weapon, you ARE a weapon! - "Don't use the flame Mei..." "Be the flame!"). What if Red Son knew Mei would stop at nothing to free his parents, the way he stopped at nothing to free her.

But also, what if Red Son was Mei's silly rabbit.

I know some people despise 5x05, but the truth is that Red Son has always been a support character to Mei. Even in AHiB, Mei and Red Son are often singled out together (ilu Mei saving MK and "I'll handle this" scenes). It's more obvious in 1x06 or 1x08, where Mei and Red are both racers and, of course, "Red flames are cool! Want to see some green ones?". RoTSQ focuses entirely on Mei and Red Son's relationship, which is continued into 3x06 and beyond.

Thank you for the rant it was a good read!

[sleeplesssmol]

HC: Looking at all the promotional art, I believe Sonetto and Schneider would have been friends.

Regulus and Vertin's relationship have a similar same vibe as Sonetto and Schneider's. That friend who drives you nuts but you're a pretty awesome duo.

Vertin's involvement might complicate things but I can see them teaming up on her when she does something stupid or fighting side by side to protect the crew.

If I had to use the lore and context around Reverse 1999 to explain how Vertin, Sonetto, and Schneider's dynamic would work, it'd be a compromise. While others may say Vertin would be the reason they fight, I'd say she's one of the things that draws them together and makes them appreciate each other. Here is how I see it:

Schneider understands what it means to sacrifice and provide for a family. She knows the struggle of fighting against a world constantly taking from you. She and Vertin have a natural chemistry because of these experiences. Sonetto understands this and instead of being jealous (not that she isn't at times but she learns to let go), comes to realize its good for Vertin's mental health. They "get" each other. At the end of the day, Sonetto wants what's best for Vertin.

While there was turbulence in the past, Sonetto's devotion to the Timekeeper is unwavering. Vertin isn't impartial either since we know Sonetto lives rent free in her head from the trails (analysis of this here). Sonetto grew up and is willing to cast aside her faith in the Foundation if it means protecting Vertin. Schneider finds that admirable and its gives her a sense of security. Sonetto is someone she can depend on, which is a big deal considering she's used to being the "rock" in her family holding everyone up.

At first its like "I need to keep you around for Vertin's sake."

But then it turns into "I'm happy you're here."

Vertin's always making sacrifices for people. They'd rather compromise than force her into a position they know she can't handle (no matter what Vertin decides, someone will get hurt).

On that note, they do exist outside of Vertin. Schneider might enjoy telling Sonetto about her home country while Sonetto eagerly listens. Sonetto doesn't know much about the outside world, but she can share insight on the world of arcanum. Its utterly insane and Schneider is amused by this. They teach each other things and also complain to each other about Vertin's gremlin ways.

Moving on, it's possible to have complicated feelings for more than one person. The important thing is deciding on whether or not you want to pursue a future with with them.

I'm about to drop a hot take so hot it could burn you. This is an opinion that ties into my HC. Ok, here I go.

Love isn't just feelings, it's work. You need to put work into a relationship or else it'll fall apart.

There are so many people on this earth. In my eyes it's normal to going to have chemistry or complicated feelings for more than one person in your lifetime.

But you choose the people you love out of the other potential candidates because you see a future with them. It's not about what you feel today but what you're going to feel years down the line so you devote your time and energy to those people in you life. You see something worth fighting for which is why you commit to those people (could apply to all relationships honestly).

That's why I HC Sonetto and Schneider like this. They could move on. Sure it'll hurt, but its not impossible. However, they found someone they want that future with. Someone with a lot of love to give yet asks for none in return, which is really sad tbh. If Vertin's not going to love herself then damn it they will! Maybe its unconventional and sometimes difficult, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth it.

[kamenstranger]

A review(?) of Dandadan

Starting these reviews off is always the hardest part, but it often comes to me after some time filling out the rest of the article. Dandadan has been stubborn in that regard, so much so I've been trying to figure out where to start with this series since it first came out.

I began reading DDD before tankōbon's were being printed, hell before it even made it to NA digitally (There were translations in Europe which got them early iirc.) Then batches starting coming out, and I still have those original single chapters from Sept. 5 '21

I became captivated, but, like its namesake, describing why I enjoy DDD is daunting in how esoteric it all is.

The general plot is straightforward on its own: Momo Ayase, the granddaughter of a spirit medium, though circumstance meets with an occult obsessed otaku, Ken Takakura, and, yes, he's named after exactly who you think, which drives the Takakura obsessed Momo nuts. She calls him Okarun, which I will also be doing for the rest of this.

Okarun's big obsession is UFOs and aliens, which he believes in, but not ghosts. You see where this is going. Hi-jinks ensue, both go to hot spots for each others interest and what do you know, Momo gets abducted by Aliens and Okarun is possessed by a geriatric genital biting speed demon.

Feel free to re-read that last part a few times.

Suffice to say, Dandadan gets fucking nuts almost as soon as the first chapter, but we're not even close to how off the rails this series gets.

I'll save you the details of how they deal with the Turbo Granny, but I will say the mythos and rules surrounding the various spirits, urban legends, cryptids and aliens is handled with a shocking amount of intricate care. If you're like me, you grew up surrounded by a plethora of Unsolved Mysteries, caught UFO Files as it was airing, maybe you even had some of those Forbidden World books laying around from the 80s before getting into stuff like Yokai. Even though I don't really engage with that sorta thing outside Weird NJ nowadays (It stops being fun when people in public office are into conspiracies-- particularly of the nazi variety like lizard men and flat earth)

The narrative and aesthetic appeal of them has stuck with me.

Anyone that's read my Kamen Rider reviews would know how much of a sucker I am for that quintessential cryptid look, which Dandadan has plenty of along with just being absurdly unhinged and hilarious.

The first two volumes do a fantastic job setting up the limitations and powers of spirits in particular, eventually resulting in part of Turbo Granny's soul being trapped in a Meneki Neko and leaving her speed abilities with Okarun. Unfortunately, Okarun only got 1/3 of his bits back.

So now have two super powered protagonists touched by the supernatural and the unearthly on the search for…missing nuts. Or I guess testicles that look like magic golden orbs of power. That's seriously how we're kicking this off.

And yes, there is a basis for that in mythology called Kintama. If you're familiar with Gintama you probably knew that.

But beyond that basic set up… where the fuck do I even go from there? The series is far more than OTT action and good monster lore, but it's also hard to delve into the how and why of its overall qualities. Sure The supernatural and sci-fi bits are fantastic, and the comedy is wonderful, but it's a by product of the real core of Dandadan: the interpersonal relationships of the characters. Surprise.

Which yeah, if it wasn't clear from the get go, DDD has a romantic angle between Okarun and Momo.

Under the monsters, dick jokes, and the completely unhinged nature of everyone and everything is an oddly captivating and flat out adorable love story between our two leads, one that slowly unfolds but is challenged by the various shake ups from monsters, invaders and cast additions that occur to hinder that development; or in some cases push it further by bringing the two closer.

Okarun in particular very well might be one of my favorite interpretations of the Otaku with a heart of gold. He's a legitimately sweet person, cares for people, he trains his ass off to earn mastery over his powers to make things easier on Momo and to keep up with the ever increasing threats they face. In a sea of otaku power fantasy characters, it's nice to be reminded that characters with limitations and weaknesses to be overcome or dealt with are still showing up.

He's also just a total sweetheart to Momo.

And it's pretty clear even early on that the feeling is mutual. Momo is easily flustered whenever a cute girl gets a little too chummy with Okarun, or strings him along. She even retaliates in some cases.

Momo is also about as dorky as Okarun (As seen above) just in different ways, which makes the two complement one another while also contrasting in how much of a hot head Momo can be.

For a series that gets as bonkers as DDD, Momo's grade A shit talking "too stubborn to admit her feelings" gruff Gyaru personality helps ground the series with a rather realistic portrayal of a girl her age-- albeit one with psychic abilities and goes through some extreme struggles much later in the series.

In fact one of the more overlooked aspects whenever I read about Dandadan is how surprisingly dark the chapters start to get in the 80s onward. Because despite the major kick off involving Okarun having his balls stolen, the series is capable of being very sardonic.

For all the absurd fun like giant enemy crabs or the Flatwoods monster as a Sumowrestler, and even a daikaiju way later, you also have things like human sacrifices and tragic ghost stories which are treated with a heavy tone that is never undermined by that off-kilter comedy. You even see tones of that with Turbo Granny of all things, involving the trapped spirits of butchered girls.

Don't misunderstand, however, the series is first and foremost a romcom with horror elements, but sometimes the horror shines through in surprising ways. That nuance is also seen in the rest of the cast, which I've yet to talk about much because one of the biggest challenges of this whole thing is figuring out how.

Talking about Dandadan beyond the very bare basics of the opening chapters is difficult without spoiling something, it's part why I was hesitant to review it back when I first started reading, despite how enamored I was. For one thing, focusing on any one aspect would be a gross oversimplification, doing a disservice to how each angle of the series is handled. Conversely, delving into Dandadan as whole would mean recapping the story arcs and events because Dandadan has some of the most tightly woven threads I have seen in some time. I can barely graze the surface of why character dynamics work or are unique before inevitably getting into a full blown synopsis and spoiling character arcs and entire narrative structures, which is… frustrating, to say the least.

For example, I can't really give you a good look at Aira Shiratori without getting deep into how she's a schoolmate of Momo and Okarun, gets into a rivalry with Momo because Aira thinks she's a demon while viewing herself as "The special one"; a delusion made stronger when she gains her own demonic powers which is basically Sedusa. But over time she forms a bizarre friendship with the two over their trial and tribulations, while also dealing with the massive weight of guilt over cruel rumors she spread about Momo. But that really doesn't even begin to tell you how much of an absolute fucking perfect little bitch she is, and yet what an enjoyable dork she becomes. To do so would be to just tell you everything that happens in her story, which, while not complicated, is tied heavily into the narrative.

It's a similar scenario with Jin "JiJi" Enjoji, Momo's first crush, which you can imagine the upset that causes; one that's pretty goddamn funny because the dude, while handsome, athletically fit and arguably the strongest of the entire cast, has the personality of a goddamn muppet. So Okarun's getting all strung up on a guy even more goofy than him.

In a nice subversion, his relationship with Okarun develops into something surprisingly positive pretty quickly, if not without complications due to a fairly dark story with his character, which pushes Okarun even further in his training after Jin gets his own possession. And it also makes it all the more hilarious that the chipper muppet baby has a secondary Shadow the Hedgehog cracked to 11 persona that's a legit threat.

Then there's Kinta "Kinny" Sakata who is basically if Okarun was even more socially inept and a dipshit Gunpla addict who tried really hard to be a Jojo. His strengths is a vast knowledge of sci-fi tech and a chuuni like ability to imagine entire fantastical constructs; quite handy when mind reading alien nano machines enter the picture. It also helps break up the monotony of everyone else having or developing some sorta supernatural power.

And then we have Vamola, a character I literally cannot say a single thing about without giving away massive plot points. I can't even show a photo because her design itself contains spoilers. Just know that her story is when shit really hits the fan and will be a gut wrenching read while also having the most Battle Manga goodness.

What I can at least tell you is that for as much as Momo and Okarun are the main protagonists, Jin and Aira get damn good focus and are fully formed characters in their own right, they're not just a monkey-wrench thrown into the fray. I mean, they are also that, but they add to those elements while being more than a foil to our main heroes developing relationship, making the story much more varied and expansive than a supernatural will/won't they. Vamola especially in that area.

If there's one takeaway from this it's that Yukinobu Tatsu is capable of creating a great, varied cast full of humor and impeccable chemistry. (not to mention a lot of cheescake that shouldn't work as often as it does.) I'm constantly surprised with how masterful all the different pieces come together to create a compelling dynamic in this deranged Sci-Fi, Supernatural comedy mishmash. Hopefully I can convey a little bit of that Dada-esque appeal despite my spoiler aversion.

What's a lot easier for me to get across without spoilers, however, is the drop-dead gorgeous artwork. Good god is this series beautiful to look at.

Tatsu has a backround in, uh, backgrounds, and it shows on just about every page. Any one side panel has more detail than most double-page fight spreads in other books, and when they do a splash page it is breathtaking.

The fact this is a Weekly series is goddamn insane and… honestly kinda makes me a lowkey worried about their work ethic. But a lot of panels feature just the character on simple stark backgrounds (And some pages feel a little heavy on the reference material, if you get my meaning.) But even so, it's hardly a sacrifice for the impressive amount of work that goes into each chapter and how just about every other page has at least one impressive environment to gawk at.

Not only is the detail impeccable, but the layout, timing and expressions are goddamn phenomenal and a big part of making the series legitimately funny. That same talent translates seamlessly to high energy fights and impactful creepy moments.

This truly is one of the most compelling reasons to read the manga. At the time of this writing we're 5 episodes in the Science Saru anime and I want to make clear I'm enjoying it and do highly suggest watching it. I think their high octane stylistic approach is, in many ways, perfect for the series. There's clearly a lot of love put into translating page to screen best they can. Realistically, I know there's no way you could completely capture Tatsu's style 1:1, especially with what the industry is nowadays. The budget and man power it would take for that wouldn't be worth it.

But that sense of scope, scale, the depth, shading and a ton of small eccentricities is something unique to the manga and a big part of why it works. If you only know the anime then I think you're missing out. Plus you've got 8 volumes to read up on.

But also still watch the anime, I'd love a season 2. Hopefully with a bigger budget. Frankly, they're gonna need it.

That said, while I have praised and gassed up Dandadan, I should mention it has a number of trappings that by all means should not fly with me. As previously stated, there's a lot of cheesecake, and I like cheesecake, but it can bog down stories like this and they're a dime a dozen in the manga and anime world. At first glance DDD can look like that from the outside. There are so many instances of things that are annoying in other works, schlocky things (derogatory) that are sell themselves only on the limp-dicked exploitive elements like Fan service. Make no mistake, Dandadan is schlocky (complimentary) but it's also incredibly endearing not only outside those aspects, but in them. At least for the most part. I have to imagine it's aware of the more stupid indulgent elements but wisely plays them straight while at the same time employing a cleverness many other series fail to have.

For example, the characters are comically stripped very frequently, even (and usually) during otherwise semi-serious moments like battles (although not if the stakes are dire.)

But the cheescake is always balanced out by the other qualities. Hell, the cheesecake is often imbued a certain charm that is funny in itself or oddly sweet, which certainly becomes more true in the later chapters. Think more Cutie Honey and less Highschool of the Dead in terms of how it's handled.

A big hand in that is they're not afraid to get silly with all the characters, especially the girls, so it typically feels more tee-hee fun. They're almost if not equally goofy in their own ways and that does a lot in keeping it from being obnoxious. And ya know, they also have real developed personalities and relationships outside just having their clothes blasted off, which also happens to Okarun if that wasn't clear. Actually it's worse because he usually loses everything, and the same is also true for Jin.

It's so audacious in every aspect that I simply can't fault it. I mean, I also wouldn't fault anyone not gelling with it, but I just sorta expect it and roll with it for a series this absurd. I'm a critic, not a goddamn puritan. I know exactly what it is, and it's doing it far better than most. It is, at worst, background noise.

That's not to say the series handles all of its exploitative elements well. Rather infamously the first chapter has an almost not quite sexual assault for Momo. It's… not as bad as it sounds-- in part because it doesn't happen and also the situation is so absurd. Honestly I think there's been a bit much blown out of proportion with it. Still, the over the top nature of an Alien with a metal syringe dick getting his comeuppance by having it bitten off by a granny speed-demon can only mitigate the general grossness of the implication so much and I still wince at it. It's the only part of Dandadan that dips into a level a cheapness it otherwise sidesteps in most other endeavors. Thankfully, it happens early on, but it also isn't a great first impression, especially if you didn't have more chapters or episodes to view at the time, leaving you to wonder just what the hell kinda story this is.

It's worth noting some of the other early chapters have bumps here and there, but nothing quite on the level of chapter 1, and those parts are ironed out overtime to be a lot more palatable. Compare how chapter 3 handles T&A to chapter 26 and you'll know what I mean.

Aside from that, however, there is at least one semi major stigma I have against Dadadan's otherwise enjoyable self indulgent nature, which is that a lot of the monster designs are painfully derivative. And I mean DERIVATIVE. Just about every alien creature in this series is an Ultra Kaiju.

Oh Shin Godzilla in the case of Nessie.

And, look, I get homaging stuff you like. Dr. Slump has loads of references, Patlabor has references to Ultraseven, depending on which version of Urusei Yatsura you're looking at it's loaded with them, Project A-KO has them, Eva is a love letter to Jissouji Ultra (along with flat out copying a few fights from various 70s mecha anime) and even something like Bocchi The Rock is at least a quarter references. References are not the problem. Well, maybe a little, but I'm not gonna get Orson Wells on you here.

Regardless, its hard not to think that maybe they could've dialed it back a little bit.

The Z'gok in Gundam is based on Alien Zarabe but it's doesn't look like a knock-off version of it. But the Dover Demon in Dandadan looks like "original the character" Kanegon that turns into Baltan. Because it is.

Like come on, man. Even the Space Pirates in Metroid aren't this blatant.

Why this sticks out to much is because the art is so damn impressive but the design aspect is lacking in certain areas. I'm willing to give leeway for some designs if they're based on folklore elements like Ghosts, Yokai, and crypids. You want to make them recognizable, but can still work in cute references or original ideas without being as glaring as "we have Ultra Seijin at home." For what it's worth, I guess Dada knockoffs with Pegassa eyes are better than generic greys. But while it's cute at first, I felt it got irksome by the time I saw Shin Godzilla… and then Hipporit as a subterranean shows up. Then a tail-less xenomorph. And Alien Guts, and a Metal Gear, and Elecking, even an Alien Zarabe.

A lot of those do end up as cannon fodder so I can understand not wanting to put a lot of work into stuff that ends up being one offs. I can't deny the art looks incredible and hype as fuck. But man, it gets distracting sometimes, especially when Gomora shows up at one point with the body of Red King and later on they end up making that a major deity in an alien culture. It's not played as a joke at all. It is one of the most dead serious chapters… But it's still just an Ultra Kaiju. Sometimes I'm reading Dandadan and I'm having a great time and I'm getting all the referential designs, and I don't *hate* this, but in the back of my head all I can think of is that line in Akibaranger.

And on some level I do get how that borderline level of infringement adds to the absurdity, how the near mono focus of a singular love for Tsuburaya is charming. Hell, it's even refreshing in some ways considering how that hasn't really been a thing in Japan since the 80s. But it does still get a bit much from the sheer volume.

I think on some level Tatsu knows this because in the more recent chapters the Serpo Aliens are primarily depicted in their disguised forms and the fake Gomora gets a slight redesign in later appearances that's a lot more generic. I sort of get the impression things that were maybe meant to be one off gags ended up becoming reoccurring elements, but given the tone and humor of the series that's really hard to tell, for better or worse.

Although kudos to Science Saru saying fuck it and making the opening to the anime one big Ultraman reference. They know what they're doing.

All that said... I don't really know where to lead off from here. Dandadan is still ongoing, currently at about 170 chapters in Japan, while the anime is still currently airing the first season. So I can't really give a full review of either. Likewise, for all I know the series could go completely off the rails at some point-- in a bad way, I mean.

As it stands I'm still finding enjoyment out of this series and now seems good a time as any to suggest everyone check it out. There's multiple manga out, it's easily available digitally, there's the anime across multiple platforms in NA, we've got figuarts coming out. It's good to see.

I was long over due for look since first reading those Glitter screen-grabs some years back.

Funny enough, this late August I visited my Girlfriend in Illinois and got to see 8 volumes of Dandadan on the shelf in a comic shop, that was a nice surreal experience for something that wasn't even available digitally in NA when I first started reading it.

What I didn't realize at the time was when I took a photo of them on the shelf, it was September 5, three years to the day I got the first few chapters. So yeah, it was time for this to happen.

Given the on going status of DDD, I'll certainly be revisiting the series for a future look at and proper review. Until then, I encourage you to read the manga and see if you see what I see. It might not be some super deep narrative, but it is most certainly unique and well worth your time.

As always, thanks for reading.

[rosewoodcafe]

Call it What You Want

A Place That Feels Like Home

Also one A03 and Wattpad !!

Chapter One - Chapter Three

It had been almost three years since the two small children, who were now nearing their teenage years, had seen each other. Raven had written about him often in the small book she kept, recounting his kindness as something never experienced outside of that garden. Her excitement grew as the summer ended, her Hogwarts letter arriving. 

Ominis hadn't been worried about his Hogwarts letter, as he had been using magic just to navigate the world around him since he was a child. What did worry him was if he'd see his friend again, and if by this point she would wish to see him. He hoped that she would not judge him by his family name, as by now she would have most certainly learned of the cruelty his family possessed. He had told his Aunt about how much he missed her, stating that she was the only one who had never judged him because of his blindness. Besides his Aunt of course, but even as the start of his first year neared his Aunt had gone missing, leaving him alone once again.

"You must be top of the class Raven." Her mother said, the train platform filled with many different students. "You are the first of our family to attend, and you must set a good stride for your sisters. Make that Greengrass name proud."

"Of course mother."

"Hogwarts is a wonderful place my dear." Her father spoke to her, pulling her in for a hug. "I hope everything works perfectly for you. Make us proud."

She hugged back, knowing that for the first time in her entire life she would be away from her family, a both freeing yet terrifying realization. 

Ominis stood at the train platform, surrounded by family yet feeling more alone then ever. Marvolo was being praised by their father, being the prefect of Slytherin he was better then everyone. It shed all the attention from Ominis, making it easier to enter that train then it was for most first years. He handled his trunk and guided his way up to the noisy train.

The noises hardly hurt him anymore, most of the time being an annoyance more then anything, but it still didn't stop it from being too much. Resisting the urge to clutch his ears, he pushed into what he sensed was an empty compartment, shutting the door and attempting to control his breathing. Life felt so entirely difficult as of late, and Ominis could only imagine that it was going to get harder.

"Are you okay?" A small girl asked. Ominis tensed up, he though this compartment was completely empty.

"I'm sorry- I am, I'll go." Ominis whispered, embarrassment flushing his face. The small girl grabbed his sleeve holding him place.

"No its okay! You can stay, you just look a bit overwhelmed is all." She smiled, tugging once on his sleeve. Ominis sat back down across from the girl. "I'm Anne by the way."

"Hello Anne." He responded. The silence sitting uncomfortably between them.

"What is your name?" Anne asked, a small giggle escaping her lips. 

"Oh... sorry, I'm Ominis." He paused, unsure if he should mention his last name. 

"That's an interesting name Omin-" She started, the compartment door opening. "Oh, hi Sebastian!"

"Who are you?" A young Sebastian spoke still unmoved at his spot in the doorway.

"This is Ominis, he came in accidently." Anne spoke for Ominis. "He seemed a bit overwhelmed."

"Are you blind?" Sebastian asked bluntly. Anne smacked him with her book.

"You can't just ask people that! Who taught you manners!"

Sebastian closed the door, to the relief of Ominis who was barely holding himself together. A small smile tugged at the edges of his mouth, and Ominis couldn't think of a better way to start his year. 

"Is it okay... if I sit here with you guys?" Ominis asked, hopeful of their answer.

"No." Sebastian said, a smile growing across his face. Ominis's face dropped in despair, readying  himself top get up. 

"He's just kidding!" Anne said quickly. "He has a bad habit of joking at the wrong times."

"He totally believed me though." Sebastian laughed. This calmed Ominis's nerves back down, but still worried him.

"You are horrible." Anne huffed. "Did you know that Sebastian?"

"You love me regardless." Sebastian grinned.

"I wish I didn't." Anne laughed, and Ominis chuckled softly at her response.

Raven sat alone in another compartment, looking out the window to her family as the train pulled away slowly. She let her head rest against the cushioned seat, regretting not asking to sit in the compartment she passed as she wandered in. Two kids sat in there, a girl and a boy, to which the boy almost ran her over as he ran off the train. She instead took the compartment with nobody else on it, hoping someone would join her.

"Hello... do you mind if I sit with you?" A small brunette girl said.

"Not at all!" Raven said excitedly. "I'm Raven Greengrass."

"I'm Poppy Sweeting." The girl smiled, she was shorter then Raven by a lot, and looked a bit frail, but Raven was excited to share the space with her. "Thank you for letting me sit with you, it seemed everyone else had someone. There wasn't much space."

"No problem Poppy. I'm just glad you decided to sit with me." Raven smiled.

The two girls chatted quietly with each other, the train chugging through the Scottish highlands.

Ominis had gotten comfortable with the twins and their bickering, it bringing a strange sense of comfort compared to his own home life. Eventually the day turned to night, and the train pulled into the unfamiliar Hogsmeade station. 

Raven had started to make her way out with Poppy, stepping down the slick steps of the train, puddles littered the stones below. She stepped forward, looking back at Poppy, bumping directly into someone. She stumbled back as a hand grabbed her robes, a fistful held her almost off the ground.

"Who do you think you are?!" An older boy snarled in Raven's face. She tried to keep a brave face, but feared the worst.

"Put her down Marvolo." Ominis said sternly. His voice unshaken, and his stance firm. Raven recognized her friend immediately, even after all these years, and he saved her just as he did when he was her knight. 

"Brother, what are you going to do about it?" Marvolo taunted, dropping Raven to the floor. He walked toward the blind boy, his anger swelling with each footstep. "You wouldn't be able to stand here if I didn't give permission to do so. So sit your ass down." Marvolo shoved Ominis to the floor, the poor boy landing in a puddle. Sebastian started to protest but Anne held his arm back. Marvolo only laughed manically as he walked away with his friend. Raven rushed over to Ominis, helping out of the water with Sebastian.

"Ominis!" Raven said excitedly, pulling him into a hug. Ominis was completely shocked at her, the fact that she showed him this affection so quickly after their reunion. He returned her hug, wrapping his arms awkwardly around her. He noticed he was the slightest bit shorter than her, and that she smelled like fresh flowers. She pulled away her face brushed with a light coat of pink, Sebastian, Anne, and Poppy watching the reunion. "It's good to see you again!"

"It... its been so long." Ominis smiled, a genuine happiness overtaking his face.

The five of them walked together down to the boats that road across the Black Lake. Ominis and Raven were practically glued together, going over the years that they had missed. Ominis couldn't believe that Raven was just as excited to see him as he was her. Her voice was just as sweet as before, like warm honey in earl gray tea, and Ominis wished he could hear her talk for forever. 

Professor Weasley greeted them all as the boats docked, even drying any wet robes off before entering the main grounds. Raven was nervous beyond belief, wanting to be in a house with at least one of her friends. Ominis had quite the opposite problem, hoping that for some chance he would not be sorted in Slytherin, even if that meant he would see none of the people he had met.

The Great hall doors opened slowly, revealing the grand room within. Floating candles and an enchanted ceiling, Raven had seen magic before but this was breathtaking. Ominis walked next to Raven, the loud cheering echoing through the room, he trembled as his wand traced a path out ahead of him. Raven, who noticed the blind boy's discomfort, held his hand, squeezing it lightly. This anchored Ominis down, her presence bringing some peace to his head. 

The group of children stopped in front of the stool that had an old looking hat sat upon it. Headmaster Black did a welcoming speech, greeting all those who were returning and those who were new. Professor Black moved out of the way, allowing Professor Weasley to read off of the paper she held. 

"Garreth Weasley!" She called out, a smile crossing her face. A happy little red-haired boy practically skipped up to the stool. The hat barely grazed his curls before announcing that he belonged in Gryffindor. Cheers erupted again, causing Ominis to tense. Raven squeezed his hand once again.

"Sebastian Sallow!" She called out after the cheers had died down. Sebastian stepped up with a strange confidence, the hat sitting on his head for a moment, before announcing Slytherin. Anne was called right after, and just like Garreth the hat barely had to touch her head before announcing that she belonged in Slytherin just like her brother. A few more students went up, dwindling the numbers down.

"Raven Greengrass!" Professor Weasley called. Raven let Ominis's hand go, making her way to the stool. The hat was placed gently on her head.

A smart one you are.

 "Please put me with my friends." Raven whispered, a silent prayer.

What if you do not have the ambition of a Slytherin, or the loyalty of a Hufflepuff hm?

"Please..."

Perhaps you should be...

"SLYTHERIN!" The hat announced, a roar of cheers from the Slytherin table filled the air. Raven practically ran to the table, sitting next to Sebastian and Anne.

Ominis stood among the last of the students, waiting for his name to be called. Now wondering if he truly knew where he wanted to be sorted. Raven was the kindest person he knew, she couldn't be evil like he thought Slytherin was. He didn't want to be apart of another house, especially if that meant he wouldn't see her as often. He was fidgety, a panic rising as he could tell that he was nearly the last student to be sorted.

"Ominis Gaunt!" Professor Weasley called out. Ominis stepped up, trying to keep him stomach out of his throat. He sat on the stool, the hat placed on his head speaking to him.

Ah! Another Slytherin prince, but one who does not wish to embrace his heritage. One who thinks that it is all bad within the house of snakes. 

"I just want to be with good people." Ominis whispered. And it was true, he just wanted people around him who weren't going to bully and hurt him relentlessly.

Good people do exist in Slytherin. Your ambition is far too great to ignore. Better be...

"SLYTHERIN!" The hat announced, once again brining the hall into cheers. Ominis rushed to the Slytherin table, sitting next to Raven hastily, who hugged him tight. Ominis felt a string in him snap, the fact that he willingly chose Slytherin, that he chose to be with these people that he thought were good people. It made him feel as if he had chosen something for the first time in his life.

Food appeared, letting everyone grub in. Raven ate in small amounts, the excitement completely eliminating her appetite. Sebastian talked excitedly to Ominis, they had a whole dorm room to themselves, which was more exciting then the room of five girls for Raven and Anne.

Soon the night ended, the prefects leading each house back to their common rooms. It was much to Raven's dismay that Marvolo was her prefect, and that she had to listen to him somewhat.

As the girls and boys parted that evening, Ominis only could think of how excited he was for this school year. The panic he had felt, the pain of the past years, all of it melting away as he prepared for bed. Sebastian's talking filling the room while Ominis's thoughts drifted about.

Raven sat on her own bed, smiling at the thought of tomorrow, and every day after that. She had met all of her other roommates, none of them being as interesting as the boy in the first year dorms.