#its like 4am give me a break LOL | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cinnaminsvga · 6 years ago

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intermission • ii | moonblind

→ summary: When the love letter you wrote and submitted as an assignment is leaked to the entirety of your university, it becomes a race against time to dispel rumours and convince the seven suspected muses of the poem that they aren’t the subject before anyone realises that you are the author. Easy, right? Well… maybe not as easy as you think.

→ pairing: bts x reader (feat. jimin) → genre: college!au, crack, fluff, angst → warnings: exhibitionism, but not in a sexual way. more like in a public disturbance way. aka streaking. → words: 4.4K → a/n: another drabble in between chapters to feed your soul!! this time, we’ll get to see some backstory to jihope before we dive into their full length chapter. and omo? is that angst i see? uh oh!

— • masterlist | prev | intermission ii | next • —

–– 3 years ago ––

Jimin’s third Pop-Tart of the evening has just gone down his gullet when Hoseok knocks excitedly outside his bedroom window. Despite Jimin living on the second floor, it seems that the older boy had chosen to climb the precariously skinny camphor tree that connects their balconies in order to access his room. Regardless, Jimin slides open the window without another word while making sure to hide the box of sugary toaster pastries away from his intruder’s view.

Hoseok jumps down from the ledge, his recently dyed auburn hair awkwardly pasting itself to his forehead with sweat. He smiles brightly at Jimin, and extends his arms forward where he reveals a crumpled envelope clutched tightly in his fists.

Jimin lets out a loud burp, ignoring Hoseok’s disgusted grimace. “Worm. You stole Mister Sun’s porn subscription again?”

“No, you fucking idiot––” Hoseok whines, flopping onto Jimin’s unmade bed. He unfurls the previously ripped apart envelope before Jimin, dumping dozens of papers and glossy brochures all over his Anpanman bedsheets. “Look what I just got from the mail!”

Jimin stands up from his table, stepping towards Hoseok until he can make out the bright red seal of their local university on one of the crisp parchment papers. His heart races then, because there can only be one thing this letter could be about––and he hopes to god that it’s good news for the both of them.

Hoseok waits for his reaction, watches with glee as Jimin’s face slowly breaks into a blinding grin, his body radiating gladness for his dearest friend. He drops the paper to the floor before barrelling towards Hoseok, trapping him in a bear hug.

“Holy shit, hyung! You did it! You got in!” Jimin hollers, not caring to lower his volume despite knowing that his parents would surely scold him for the racket. How could he bare to kill his excitement? Especially when his best friend had just gotten the best news of his life?

Hoseok giggles, tapping Jimin’s shoulder to let him up a little. “Ooph, ease up on my windpipes, brat. It would be shit if you killed me before I even got to go to my first college party.”

“Not on my watch, you aren’t,” Jimin replies, getting off him but nonetheless keeping his arms wrapped gently around his shoulders. “You promised you’d take me with you.”

“Who said anything about me letting a baby like you drink?” Hoseok laughs, voice drunk on happiness. He leans into Jimin, watching the younger leaf through the rest of the papers as he sighs contentedly.

“But seriously, this is amazing! I always knew you could do it, hyung,” Jimin says, positively glowing with warmth. He speaks as if he wants to say something more, but he doesn’t. Hoseok doesn’t push (because he never does.)

“Yeah, well. I couldn’t have done it without my special cheerleader, my Jiminie,” he says sweetly. Jimin’s eyes crinkle from the force of his smile, nudging his friend with his knee as he continues to peruse the acceptance letter.

“Oh, shut up. No need to be corny with me. We both know that you’ve always been the better da––” Jimin freezes suddenly, when he gets to a particular piece of paper. His pupils are trained onto the wall of text, turning contemplative as he scans through it like his eyes are afraid to believe what they are seeing.

Hoseok sits upright, concerned. “Jiminie? You okay there?”

Jimin opens his mouth. Closes it. Blinks rapidly like he has spots in his vision. Then, he wordlessly shows him the paper that he was holding, allowing Hoseok to read what caused Jimin to go silent with shock.

Hoseok stares and he stares at the page, not quite getting it. “What am I supposed to be looking at?” he asks.

Jimin points to the bottom of the paper, where it states the tuition and scholarship that Hoseok had earned. He turns to look back at him, still confused, when Jimin’s finger lowers until it gets to the part where he finally understands.

“Oh,” he says, quietly. Perhaps, even a little guiltily too.

“Hyung,” Jimin murmurs, smoothing the paper and gently laying it to the bed. He turns to him, an indecipherable emotion flitting through his face. Hoseok swallows nervously. “You applied to become an English major?”

Sweat begins to build behind Hoseok’s neck. “Well––”

“No, that can’t be right. Maybe you got the wrong letter?” Jimin questions, turning the papers over to look for the mistake that had never been made. He grabs the torn envelope, reading the stark black ink stating “Jung Hoseok” and his home address of 18 years, and yet he still cannot quite believe it. He faces Hoseok, and asks, “Did you get rejected?”

Hoseok stares, wide-eyed, unsure on how to tell his best friend that he had been lying to him for months now. In his bliss-induced haze, he had forgotten all about the secret he had been harboring from him, how he had never applied for the degree that they both promised to apply for when they had been children. How could he face Park Jimin, when he knew that was both a liar and a coward?

Hoseok replies, so softly that Jimin almost misses it, “No. I didn’t get rejected.”

“Then? Why were you put into the English program? How do you explain that?” Hoseok hates the way that Jimin’s voice rises at the end, because he knows it only becomes like that when he can feel something is wrong. He knows that he’s about to be disappointed, betrayed.

“Jimin––”

“Hoseok-hyung, you’re literally one of the country’s best upcoming dancers. You’ve won countless national dance competitions. Why would they––” Jimin stammers, Adam’s apple bobbing as he tries to make sense of it all. “Hyung, what happened?”

Hoseok doesn’t know what to say. No, he does know what to say, but he doesn’t know how to say it. It’ll hurt, but not as much as it’ll probably hurt the only person who has ever believed in him. Hoseok is forced to look away, because there isn’t any other way to do this, not when he can see expectant eyes hoping for a lie he can never utter.

“I never applied for the dance program,” he says, finally. Rips the band-aid in one swoop, and waits for the blood to flow.

As expected, the pain is instantaneous, because Jimin’s never known how else to be. It would have been better if he had shouted, or pushed him––done something, because at least Hoseok would be giving him something to act upon. Instead, all he does is asks, in a whisper, “Why would you lie to me?”

“You wouldn’t have understood,” Hoseok says, but his argument is weak, even to his own ears.

“And what makes you think that when I found out eventually, I would have understood it better than if I had known before?” Jimin counters, lips trembling already.

Hoseok reels back, mouth going slack because honestly, he just doesn’t know. He isn’t thinking, and he certainly wasn’t thinking then. This all would have been easier if he had just learned to keep his big mouth shut––

Or perhaps, if he hadn’t lied in the first place.

“No, that’s not what I meant––”

“Then what did you think was going to happen, huh?” Jimin accuses, choking up as he tries to keep tears at bay. Hoseok senses the signs before he sees it, senses the oncoming waves of dejection that is sure to come. In another time, he would have been the one to comfort him during Jimin’s lows; to think that he has now learned how it feels to be on the other side of the equation.

Hoseok licks his lips. “I-I didn’t think––”

“Typical,” Jimin says, bitterly. Hoseok flinches, having never heard him use this tone of voice on him before. Jimin gives him no time to recover. “Of course you didn’t think. Why on earth would my opinion matter? Did you really think I would’ve just ditched you if you had told me earlier?”

“No, but––”

“You made me think that we had an agreement with each other. You made me think that we would become the country’s best pair of dancers together. Together, hyung,” Jimin repeats, hurt dripping from every word.

“Jimin, we both know that was a promise we made when we were children. There’s no way we would ever have become better than everyone else––dancing our way to success has always been a foolish dream, and we’re both better off not pursuing it.” Hoseok says smoothly, his thoughts tumbling out through his lips like butter because he’s been repeating the same excuse to himself ever since he had submitted his university application. He knows, his parents know, and his teachers know that there is no future for him when it comes to dancing––it’s called a dream for a reason, after all.

The sooner that he and Jimin get their heads around this fact, the better.

“I can’t - no, I refuse to believe that you actually think that way. Not when,” Jimin inhales, small fists clenched so tightly that they tremble by his thighs. “Not when I’ve seen how you dance. You can’t fucking tell me that you don’t love the way the music pumps through your veins, and how the energy of the crowd is like no other drug in the world. I’ve seen the way you talk about dance, hyung. You can’t lie to me.”

It’s true. He can’t lie. But damn, no one can stop him from trying.

“Jimin, I know this is hard to come to terms with, and I know you deserve more than a shitty apology.”

“Save it,” Jimin hisses, standing up from the bed. He marches over to the window, dragging the glass open and allowing the cold night breeze to chill the small bedroom. The papers flutter about lightly, almost mockingly.

“Get out of my house. We’ll talk again when I’ve cooled down.” Jimin says, throat tight with feelings left unsaid. Hoseok complies, jumping to the extended branch without another look back. He never thinks to ask for forgiveness, and Jimin isn’t sure if he would’ve given it to him, anyway.

Jimin shuts the window, and the room is silent once more. He shoves the papers off of his bed, sweeping them angrily under the rug for him to deal with later. For now, he needs to do something else to take his mind off of everything that just happened.

He flips his phone on, scrolling through his measly contact list until he gets to one of the latest additions in his roster. He never once thought that he’d resort to calling this person in particular. Then again, his stupid ass decided to become dependent on one person, so what else is he supposed to do?

The phone rings only twice before he picks up.

“‘Sup,” is what Taehyung’s deep voice greets him. Beyond the static, Jimin can hear the distant sound of Yoshi’s cheery voice in the background.

“Hey. You busy?” Jimin asks, fiddling with the ends of his sweater nervously. Wait, why is he nervous? Taehyung is the weird new kid that moved in just a few weeks ago. Surely, the stranger in the neighborhood should be the one sweating bullets right now?

“Not in particular. Why?” The distinct tune of game over music plays shortly after, and Taehyung curses quietly under his breath. A loud clacking sound follows after, and Jimin guesses that the other boy had thrown his controller away in disgruntlement. “Well. I’m definitely free now. You need something?”

“Well…” Jimin hesitates, unsure of what to say. That he had potentially lost the only friend that he’s ever had and now he needs a replacement, asap? Yeah, right.

Taehyung beats him to the punch. “You need a friend or something? You feelin’ lonely?” he asks plainly.

Jimin chokes on his spit. “N-no…” he mutters, pouting at being found out so easily.

Taehyung laughs, not unkindly. “Don’t worry, dude. I was just messing with ya. I know you and that Jung kid are pretty tight. He must be busy with college stuff now, right? He’s a year older than us, if I remember correctly.”

“Y-yeah. He is. I was just bored, is all…”

“Sweet.” Jimin can hear him grin through the speaker. “Meet ya in front of your house in just a sec.”

Just as Jimin is about to ask what he plans on doing, Taehyung ends the call abruptly. “Rude,” he says, huffing slightly. Well, guess he has no choice but to search for some pants to wear before making his way to his front door. (Has he been naked this entire time? That’s up to you to decide.)

It doesn’t take long for Taehyung to arrive, but Jimin does note of the way he is panting slightly when he finally reached his front lawn. He looks at him, concerned. “Hey dude. You okay? Why’re you so tired?”

Taehyung holds up a finger, back bent with his hands on his knees. “Ran,” is all he says, still struggling with his breath.

Jimin stares at him. “We literally live three houses away from each other.”

“We can’t all be Michael Phelps,” Taehyung retorts.

“He’s a swimmer.”

“Same thing. We all got lungs.”

Jimin snorts, patting him on the back. “Alright, Phelps. What were you planning on doing during this fine evening? I hope it has something to do with two fake IDs and maybe a couple of dollar bills.”

“What?” Taehyung gasps, staring at him in shock. “That’s the type of shit you do with Jung?”

“Nah. I was just messing with you. I only got a fake ID so I could vote.” he jokes.

“Same,” he replies without missing a beat. Jimin isn’t sure if he was joking. “But nah. I was planning on asking you to go out for a run with me. To let go of some steam, or whatever it is you jocks like to do for fun.”

“You want to go on a run? Dude, you literally almost died getting here.” Jimin points out.

Taehyung raises a finger. “Key word: almost.” He rifles through his short gym shorts (read: very very short shorts) for a moment, before dangling a pair of 80s-looking car keys at him. “I was thinking that you would do more of the running, while I drive beside you so I can keep you company.”

Jimin stares at him. Then, “Is this what you think healthy people do for fun?”

“Listen man. I ate rice with ketchup for dinner today so please don’t tease me.”

Jimin laughs, shaking his head. “You’re ridiculous.” he says, slapping the other boy on the shoulder. Taehyung hisses in pain, but is quick to hide it when Jimin finally fixes his gaze on him.

“So.”

“So?”

“Wanna go underage drinking?”

“Sounds fun, but I have a better idea,” Taehyung says, grabbing Jimin by the hand. If Jimin is startled by this near-stranger’s blatant invasion of his space, he doesn’t say it. Maybe because somehow, he knows that he can trust Taehyung with his life.

Well. Maybe not his life. Maybe his wifi password? Debatable. Still––

“What’s your idea, hotshot?” Jimin asks, but all Taehyung does is shoot him a boxy grin.

“Just keep walking, and follow me.”

Turns out, Taehyung’s idea isn’t all that bad.

Taehyung had found out from an older friend that there was an event being hosted by the nearby university at their open grounds that night. When they get there, hundreds of plastered university students are already milling about, so much so that no one seems to bat an eye that two high school kids were somehow making their way through the crowd and onto one of the makeshift bleachers.

“Everyone’s either too high or too drunk to care that we’re here,” Jimin notices, gazing at the surrounding “adults” as they clumsily found their way to their seats.

“Yeah. That’s just how old people are like all the time.” Taehyung hums, pushing off a young man and woman who both seem to be permanently sewn together by their lips. “Oops, guess these seats are free now!” he says cheerfully, patting the other space for Jimin.

Jimin can’t help staring at the large crowd, wondering if this is the crowd he’ll find himself in just a year’s time. “What is this event for, anyway?” It’s hard to tell, especially since there seems to be no signs of event coordination whatsoever. For all he knows, he could be a part of some cultish initiation or whatever.

“Oh, I don’t know. Some welcoming party to start the new semester? Who cares. We’re just here to observe,” Taehyung says, grabbing the popcorn bucket from another preoccupied couple in front of them. He offers some to Jimin, to which he politely declines. He shrugs his shoulders, popping ten of them into his mouth. “I mean, we only have a year left before we’re one of these braindead sacks of shit, so might as well have a head start and wreak a little havoc.”

“A year left, huh.” Jimin mutters to himself, brows furrowed. Taehyung pauses in his munching to observe his new friend, who is staring at the ground thoughtfully. In front of them, the sound of a cannon firing reverberates across the park, and the crowd jumps to their feet around them. Neither of them join the rest.

“You thinkin’ of something?” Taehyung shouts over the crowd, and Jimin can barely hear him. He shakes his head, ready to brush his concern aside, but thinks better of it. Why should he hide his feelings? He isn’t Hoseok, after all.

He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know, man. I just think I’m not cut out for this university life!” he yells, the crowd still going apeshit at whatever was happening up front. A man in a stereotypical toga overhears him, who turns to them in all his red face-painted glory.

“Bro! That was totally me in freshie year! Don’t worry, kid! We ALL want to die, and that’s what we call team spirit!” He hollers wildly, and a group of similarly dressed men beside him bellows back in agreement.

Taehyung laughs gleefully at their antics, while Jimin has to force a chuckle out just so the drunken toga-wearing troglodytes would look away from him so he can continue his spontaneous heart-to-heart session.

“Sorry. You were saying?” Taehyung asks, voice now at regular-ish speaking level now that the people around them have settled down.

“I was saying how I think I won’t be going to university. It’s just not the life for me, you know?” he says, and Jimin can admit that he was acting a bit bitter after what had just happened a few hours ago, but he wasn’t thinking sensibly right now. Or maybe, this is the most sensible that he’s been in his life.

Jimin doesn’t want to think too deeply about it, and luckily, Taehyung just gets it. He doesn’t pry, choosing instead to nod empathetically back at him and leaving it at that.

“That’s cool, dude. Maybe this can be your way of experiencing the uni life, at least one way or another.”

“Yeah,” Jimin says, chest hollow. He gazes to the front where a scantily clad cheerleader bats open a piñata filled with tampons instead of candy. Another piñata is filled with K-pop lenticular cards. The crowd goes nuts.

The two of them continue to watch the festivities unfold. Perhaps it is due to the lack of alcohol and other consumable vices in their systems, but they soon come to realize that this event is boring as hell. Everyone else seems to be having a good time, but Jimin cannot for the life of him fathom why watching five dudes sing the wrong lyrics to High School Musical is the definition of “a good time.”

Taehyung says it before he does. “Dude, this sucks.”

Jimin nods forlornly. “This sucks.”

Like the fiendish person that Jimin will soon come to know in the following years, Taehyung’s eyes glint with the unrestrained need to be a little shit. So, he offers Jimin an idea.

“Hey. You ever wanted to do a mildly illegal crime and get away with it?”

Jimin squints at him. “Not in particular. Why?”

Taehyung grins brightly. If Jimin didn’t know any better (which he didn’t, because he only met this kid a few weeks ago when his mother forced him to bring over some housewarming cupcakes to the new neighbors), he would have assumed that Taehyung is as angelic as they come. The type of person who sheltered abandoned puppies and volunteered at the local orphanages.

Oh, how wrong he was. Apparently, Taehyung is the type of person to demand a newfound friend “take off your pants right now” without an ounce of shame.

Like a sane person, Jimin refuses immediately.

Jimin tries again. “If you think I’m gonna drop my pants now and cause a scene to make you laugh, then you’ve got another thing coming.”

Taehyung tries again. “You and I both know this shit is boring as hell, and the only people with an ounce of artistic flare in their bodies is us, so why don’t you take one for the team and drop your pants?”

So Jimin stares into Taehyung’s eyes a little longer. They stay still, neither of them willing to back down. The raucous crowd around them is incognizant of the exchange happening right in front of them. Like many natural disasters, no one ever really sees it coming. Then:

“Why don’t you do it, then?”

“I’m not the one with the abs, am I?”

…

Somehow, that’s what gets Jimin.

You are walking back home from the nearby university event after having decided to leave early due to how unappealing the entire thing had been. You seriously regret letting your classmates pressure you into attending with them, since you know all of them had just wanted to sneak out for some underage drinking. You have never been into that sort of thing, and so you promise yourself to never go along with your friends’ harebrained schemes after this disaster.

You haven’t made it that far away from the open grounds, so you can still hear the deafening hoots of college students from where you stood. However, you are suddenly shocked by the sudden shrieks of terror, more striking than the previous ruckus with how absolutely terrified these screams sounded.

Curious, you turn to face where you had just been, craning your head for any signs of the source of the commotion. Your eyesight isn’t good enough to see that far, so you are quick to give up and shrug your shoulders. Must have been some weird performance by another group of college weirdos. What else is new?

You continue walking at a relaxed speed, not in a hurry to reach home when suddenly, you can hear the distant sound of bare feet slapping furiously against the pavement.

Having just watched a copious amount of unsolved murder documentaries the night before, you hasten your pace, almost ready to dash out of there when the footsteps start to grow louder and more distinct. Fully alarmed now, you are pretty much speed-walking by the time your would-be assailant seems to be inches away from you.

Daring a chance to look back, you let out a bloodcurdling scream as you see what appears to be a fully naked man running headfirst towards you. Your screech causes the man to yell back in surprise, and accidentally tripping all over himself and into the concrete. You wince at the sound of his nose cracking painfully against the sidewalk, but you have no chance to feel sorry for him because oh my god there was a literal naked man chasing after you!!!

But your stupid ass just HAD to interact with him, because you’re stupid and your head is made of air. Sorry, it be like that sometimes.

“Who the fuck are you? I’m going to kill you?” You say the last part like a question, because really, do you think you could kill a man? We already established that you’ve got an empty skull, so what the hell do you think you’d be able to do? Flail around like those inflatable balloon things outside car dealerships?

The man groans loudly, lifting his head up slowly from disorientation. Like you had guessed, his face is bloody where his nose had broken, but nothing else seems to be injured (but you can’t say the same for his brain, though.) He coughs, smearing his blood with his hand in a futile attempt to staunch the steady flow.

“Listen,” he begins, his voice sounding muffled due to the way his nostrils have pretty much collapsed into his face. You grimace at blood-shaped face print he had left on the sidewalk. “Sorry for spooking you. As much as I really appreciate death right now, you’ll have to redirect Satan to my doorstep for another time because I have to kill Kim Taehyung before I meet my maker.”

God, you are literally too tired to deal with this shit. “That doesn’t even make sense––”

He stands up all of a sudden, jumping to his full height with the grace of an Olympic runner. And by Olympic runner, you mean the ones from Ancient Greece when they’d compete all naked and oiled. Like this dude is. Except he’s all naked and bloodied.

You can feel the beginnings of a migraine starting to form. Hm... Maybe underage drinking is the answer. (It’s definitely not, but one can dream.)

He straightens up, nodding curtly at you. “Sorry, no time to explain. I must be on my way.” With one final salute, he sprints off, his toned legs carrying him farther and farther away until only the sheen of his pale ass can be seen from a distance. It twinkles, ever so gently under the moonlight.

“Wack,” you say.

And so, you went home.

The next day, on social media, the myth of the moon streaker makes its rounds. Everyone is wondering who it is, but no one seems to have ever seen that boy in their university before.

[+985, -23] omg… that was disgusting and inappropriate!! but… 10/10 would see again lol

[+759, -3] that ass though? it was beautiful… like the full moon… when will my boyfriend EVER

[+699, -1] lunar new year is officially MOVED to today… god bless that naked lil man. i love you.

#btssunshinenet #bts scenarios #bts x reader #bts fanfiction #bts #bts imagines #bts angst #bts crack #bts fluff #park jimin #jimin scenarios #jimin imagines #jimin fluff #jimin angst #jimin crack #bangtan #bts fanfic #LOL UHHH... imma proofread it tomorrow #its like 4am give me a break LOL

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sekaiichis · 5 years ago

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merch you can get (after finishing a specific task lol) but still not what I wanted today 😔 I’ll be back again next Friday hoping for vol 15 cover

#well actully the drawing looks different from the pillow drawings but uh #its 4am i randomly woke up give me a break lol #i still want merch w the pillow drawings #this is in that style so its a start i suppose lol #also more gacha will most likely be annouced bc the valentines gacha will be expiring soon...either then or on monday #a lot of possibilities

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tatakaebomb · 3 years ago

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The Veronica trend on tiktok got my brain running SO, can I request a crazy!ex!Toji smut where he shows up banging at your door in the middle of the night after he arrived home from work only to see your things gone. He tracked you down fast and starts banging at the door to let him in or he’ll break it. His s/o a little bit softer so she’s scared and let’s him in. A little bit of dark content like dub con but if your uncomfortable writing that, making it consensual is good too! Whatever you’re comfortable with :) oh and can Ren write this one ? Thank you + love all your work!!

ANON. THANK YOU.

This trend has had me in a chokehold for the past week, and i was literally just thinking about writing something inspired by it, Toji is perfect for it n i can totally see it LMAO hope you enjoy <3

- Ren

tw: psycho ex! Toji, dub con, slight hints of voice kink, toxic relationship (ofc), few pet names, size kink if you squint, one instance of degrading, rough sex against the wall, he’s just possessive and hot tbh

NSFW 18+

wc: 1k

p.s.

please ignore small typos *if you do happen to find any*,

i wrote this impulsively at 4AM - spare me lol

You’ve finally had enough, enough of Toji failing to treat you good like he promised he would. On top of that , he's been barely spending time with you in the past weeks and you started to get suspicious.

Your suspicions were very obviously cleared when he was at work and while cleaning you stumbled across some panties that were not your size, and definitely not your taste.

You packed your stuff immediately, grabbing the keys to your old apartment and leaving without another word, you didn't wanna give him the satisfaction of an explanation.

After all, he didn't deserve it.

However, you did realise that might be a slightly bad decision, knowing him and his psychotic behaviour he'd eventually find a way to track you down, but you told yourself that would take a while so you didn't worry too much.

Nevertheless, you blocked his number and went ahead with the rest of the evening, pouring yourself some tea before getting into bed. It was painful of course, but you couldn't bring yourself to feel bad.

You still loved him with all your heart but his careless behaviour pushed you away from him, this was his consequence for being a lying asshole .

You overthink yourself to sleep, only to be woken up by the banging on your wooden front door.

You jump out of bed startled, tired eyes checking the time on your phone only to see it was 3AM, and its long past the time anyone should be banging on anyones door.

You slowly inch closer, checking in the peephole only to see Toji. Of fucking course.

You rolled your eyes, and turned your body back towards your bedroom, only to be scared half to death by the sound of his fist coming down on the door even louder than before.

" Y/N, open the fucking door " You hear his familiar deep voice yell out, slightly hoarse.

You look at him through the peephole again, he looked pissed off and desperate. But more than anything, he looked tired.

You rested your back against the door, hand over your mouth trying not to make any noise as you listened to his yells become more and more hectic with every punch landed on your door.

" Open the door Y/N - please let me explain - i don't wanna fight fuck! - please just listen to me-"

Your heart starts beating faster, the way his voice drags out into whines making the guilt fall down onto you all at once, maybe he did care.

You hesitated, holding yourself back from lowering your hand to the keys and twisting them.

You couldn't just go back now, your decision was already made.

" T-Toji, go away - it's over " You stutter on your words, and you sigh of relief once you hear silence outside the door.

You thought maybe he left, but you still stayed with your back glued to the door to make sure.

“ OPEN THE DAMN DOOR OR I’LL BREAK IT “

A sudden hard kick to it made your heart skip a beat, and you gave in, your shaky hand reaching and turning the lock and before you could even process anything, the door knob was already turned and the door opened.

You immediately get pinned to the wall, your hands resting forcefully above your head in Toji’s hold as you watch his dark eyes bore into yours,

“ It’s over ?” He chuckles, slowly lowering his face to yours under his lips are inches away from yours,

“ Don’t make me fucking laugh, Y/N”

His lips crash onto yours as you struggle, trying your best to push him off but his large body was in no way moving.

“ Get- off me - you fucking -aah- asshole “ You say between pants, letting out an unwanted moan while shutting your eyes when you feel his hand lower to your panties.

“ Try again, baby “

You gasp into his mouth once you hear the material breaking, his fingers soon making way inside your glistening cunt.

You hated it, hated the fact he still managed to make you soaking wet even in this situation. Your tongues danced together as you slowly began melting into his touch, watery doe eyes staring into his once he parts his lips from yours.

“ Toji~” You threw your head back, your stomach twisting and your lips parting , letting out sinful moans that only fuelled his ego more.

He spins you around, holding your hands behind your back roughly with one hand as he pushes your face into the wall.

You shiver when you feel his breath on the back of your neck, other hand fumbling with the zipper of his pants before lowering them.

“ You don’t get to leave me, sweetheart “ A low grunt leaves his lips once he lines up his cock with your entrence, gathering up the slickness between pushing it in without warning.

“ You’re - only mine”

You let out a gasp, your eyes rolling back once he bottoms out. You couldn’t think of anything but the way his large cock was stretching you out, abusive your cunt with every snap or his hips.

“ Fuck- fucking say it “ He lands a harsh blow to your ass as he continues fucking into you, bending you further down giving him the perfect angle to hit your spot.

You let out a loud moan, grateful he couldn’t see the fucked out expression on your face right now.

“ ‘M yours Toji, please - can i- CUM please”

Your desperate begs and the sound of his balls hitting your ass roughly with every thrust echos through the apartment, your legs shaking underneath him.

“ Be a good whore - shit - and cum for me”

He groans into your ear, his dick twitching inside you at the way you tighten down on him as you let go , your head thrown back with chants of his names and curses leaving your lips.

He mutters your name under his breath, his pace slowing down before you feel yourself getting filled with his cum.

You feel it running down your thigh as he gives a few more rough strokes between pants, making sure he pushed it back into you.

He pulls out of you, holding the weight of his tired body against the wall as you slide down, shaky legs kneeling down and meeting the floor.

You pant, your hair messily falling over your face as you slowly turn around and look up at him grinning at you, and you couldn’t help but smile.

He’s a whole red flag.

Too bad your favourite colour just so happens to be red.

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just-some-random-blogger · 2 years ago

Note

still not over the fact that all your work is très magnifique 😍 (dont mind me binge reading at 4am)

if i may request, how do you think dream would react when his lover(reader) is very jumpy or easily flinches. we all know morpheus can be rather mysterious-in-the-shadows type and as someone with anxiety i feel like him popping out of no where will just make me jump all the time

Hold My Hand

Dream of the Endless x Reader

Summary: Desperate times call for desperate measures, your measure for Dream giving you near death experiences involved a very particular accessory.

Word Count: >600

Warnings: some kinky inclinations lol, gender neutral!reader, kitty meow meow dream (real), pouty!dream, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: HHIHIHI IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY FICS ENOUGH TO LOSE SLEEP OVER IT ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT ALSO GET SOME SLEEP PLS T_T the gif is how i imagine dream apologizes for scaring you Tagging: @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda @shadow-pancake9

I let out a long, exaggeratedly prolonged, scream when I feel someone come up from behind me in this dead end of the library. It was instantaneous, the hug and the concerned voice that came after.

I mean I really was scared, but still, I was 100% sure I was born dramatic. I heaved heavily as I leaned into the embrace of the being behind me.

Dream cranes his neck down to kiss the side of my neck, "I apologize, my dear," he speaks with genuine guilt, "I was only thinking about how you told me you enjoyed back hugs and I could not help myself."

"It's fine," I sigh deeply, placing the book in my hand back in the shelf.

Dream, although he knew I was not making an attempt to leave him, pulls me back, as if unwilling to have a fraction of space between us. I chuckle, "alright, alright, gimme a sec, geez."

Once the book is back in its spot, I twist in his arms and position myself into a comfortable embrace, cheek pressing against his chest.

Dream tightens his hold, relaxing against me; his previous guilt of rousing my anxiousness finally seemed to leave him.

I can't help but chuckle when he nuzzles against my head, "rough day?"

He hums, "everything is suddenly bearable after I feel your touch."

I smile against him and pull back to show this. In contrast, he has his pouty lips curved down and it makes my brows raise, "what's wrong, Dreamy?"

"I do not enjoy the fact I keep agitating you when I phase to your side."

I snort, "well, actually," I pull away from him, "I may have a solution."

His brows furrow, appalled by the fact I was pulling away from him. His frown deepens.

"Dream," I chuckle, "I'm literally still right here, please, I just need to get something out of my pocket."

A line between his brows forms. He barely loosens his tight grip on me. I cannot help but press my lips as I look at him in amused annoyance.

"Here," I say, as a pull out a tiny choker and dangle it between our faces.

Dream averts his attention, furrowed brows raising.

"I had a cat once," I start, undoing the clasp of the necklace, "she was so sneaky, my family did not know peace until we gave her a bell."

I bring my hand over his shoulders, placing the black and gold thing around his neck. I rise to my toes and look over Dream's shoulder when I do this. Once I am done securing it, I release a sigh and fall flat on my feet. "Now," I smile, grabbing his cheeks, "I might find peace with your bell."

Dream looks down at the choker. I grab the bell at the center so that he could see it, but I'm unsure he does.

His hands travel up my back as he averts his gaze back upon me, "if it can rid of my jump scare tendencies-"

I snort at his use of my term.

"- then I am happy to wear it."

I break into a fit of giggles when he leans in and peppers my face with kisses. As innocent as those were, my breathing begins to grow heavy when his lips trail down my neck, "Dream... Lucienne might catch us again..."

Meanwhile Matthew's head cocks from side to side as he looks for bright ringing sound he could not for the life of him find. "Lucienne, am I going bonkers, or do you also hear that bell ringing?" "I thought you were already bonkers." "Lucienne, I'm serious-" Matthew's beak stays open when he sees Dream pass by out of nowhere. "D-Did you- did he- is he wearing a collar?" "Matthew, Dream is a consenting adult-- in fact, he's much older than that." Safe to say, the sound of the bell was so much more hard to ignore now.

#dream of the endless fanfic #dream of the endless fluff #the sandman fanfic #the sandman fluff #the sandman x reader #dream of the endless smut #morpheus fluff #the sandman x you #dream x you #dream fanfic #dream of the endless x reader #dream of the endless x you #morpheus x reader #morpheus x you

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venusiangguk · 3 years ago

Note

BUDGETING

dont know if everyone will still want to know on budgeting lol

I don't want to sound like a bitch yk

BUT

I think the most important thing for me was learning to give yourself the freedom to enjoy things like little by little

I used to do this thing where I was uptight for a super long time and then I wpukd splurge huge amounts and for nothing.

I'm not religious either but I truly believe that setting out a little each month/week for charity is great bc it's always comes back in a form that's greater you know.

Pay rise, new job opportunities, idk good things.

Ik it sounds cringe and gross but I think it's worth it !

THE STEPS LMAO

Okay so I always but in 40%-45% like in the bag already savings I mean (this can obvs be adjusted to fit your own needs but if say keeping over 30% is key!)

And work around everything else in the steps below !!!

If I was brave enough I would send pictures of my last year budgeting plan and how I managed to save !! But I'm not 😭😭😭

the first step for me would be to list your monthly income !

Monthly is way easier to work with and easier to adjust in the long run !

Second would be list out things that have to be paid always. So fixed expenses.

I.e rent, MOT, bills, food ( for this I would highly recommend just having a monthly shopping of like say £20-25 - seems un do able but isnt !!! Frozen veggies are your best friend:)) gym membership, spotify, prime all of that.

Third which is super important for me at least would be to set out a like reward bonus for yourself.

( in cash preferably- like so once it's gone it's gone you know- like monthly rewards for yourself - sometimes you use it and sometimes you dont!! )

Fourth - ALWAYS SET AN EXTRA LIL FUND FOR THE UNEXPECTED THINGS!!! ( car crashes, dentist, medicine if your toaster breaks if your fridge breaks !! all of that lovely stuffs 😃)

So when you look at all that infront you- really just scrutinise it.

Like -

How much of that do you really need to spend?

Is there anything you can cut out on ?

This is super important at least to me bc then I see that yh shit - that is crazy I'm spending useless money )

I think that also keeping student loans separate is SUUUUPER SUUUUPER bc it just. Idk if anyone else is like this but seeing how much they expected from me to be able to learn always depressed me so I made a separate folder for that- made it pretty so it didnt look sooo bad lmao ) but I think the biggest part was getting to grips that I had all that to pay back!!!

Then like random things :

Concerts, events, holidays.

Like make sure you have them planned in advance and make separate funds for all of them.

To cater to what they need! Like for a concert- hotel and food money and merch buying and army bomb and a NEW OUTFITTTT lmao)

And yh - I think setting up a teeny amount for charity or to help ppl is always great aswell bc well idk you feel good and it does always come to find you- doesnt have to be a large amount. Maybe even a food box every month or smn cute and sweet like that !!

This is how I did it : ( kind of irrelevant and just abt silly me lmao but maybe itll help(?))

So i used to work night shifts at this horrible packing place ( it was freezing too but the pay was so good! It was £15-18 an hr ( sometimes even more )and I used to work from 11pm-4am 7 days a week like I didnt take a day off until I quit and i did it for 2 years ! That was like 50k but I had a lot of things to pay off and my parents wanted nearly all of it back off of me 😃)

This is also the NOT the job I wanted yk? Like I used to work with a bunch of stinky ass men and it sucked but I had to do it bc well my parents kicked me out bc I was non religious looool.

I was never enough and I just got kicked out yk? ( oh no not my sob story but just to put it into perspective sort of like I was fucking depressed my money was going like wildfire )

So I had to kind of take everything/every opportunity. They expected a lot back from me too in that way like alot of my learning was going to them :/)

From 5-7

I worked at a bakery ! Cooking and baking and having fun! That was the best job I had the pay wasnt all that but it was something and I needed everything I could get ! It wasnt everyday either but so and so.

I also am bilingual so that way I was able to get a job as a teacher in a daytime school teaching which I did voluntarily! For the first year !

( I had this routine for 2 years!!)

So like I was getting an okay amount from these jobs but god heavens I was spending so unnecessary.

Like a high price for a shit apartment where I would have to pay for things to get fixed to and that was really expensive.

My parents also took alot first year earnings and that's when I was like well shit I have nothing I really need to like get my shit together yk?

There was student loan (- I dont want to like envoke sympathy bc of all this I just wanna like say that my money was kind of slipping away yk I feel like I'm being annoying 😭😭😭 ) - and just a whole lot of wasting on food ( my biggest expenditure- at the time I was struggling with binge eating and bulimia so 🙃🙃 yh )

Dumb shit off amazon, and like just crap you know

Also car petrol and mot and car stuff. and bus and train fares just money can go so easily.

It was just super super tiring to have juggle all these balls at once but when I got the hang of it like doing all those steps I felt more free and more aware of myself and I was able to enjoy while still getting yk the most out of what I do.

I work as a translater/teacher now so the pay is good and like using these steps is how I got the most out of myself

Uh idk If this even makes sense anymore and I'm sorry if come off as bitch too

I don't mean to or come with a sob story

I just think its important to like realise that no matter what and who in your life demands things from you - you always have to choose to look after yourself first- how you choose too look after yourself is ultimately how you choose to look after others too ! Take good care of yourself - give yourself a clearer mind and you'll be able to see a bigger picture- outside of the one built for you !!

If your struggling with other issues - mental health too it can help bring clarity to that too ! Bc it's some sort of semblance.

Gosh I feel gross what if you have to read all of this 😭😭😭

I hope it helps you ♡♡

Budgeting is really important bc we need to buy houses!!

Need property!!!

Start our own businesses !!

Become our own bosses !

It's just super important to know your expenses you can know yourself better too !

And you can be more mature and more self aware

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Gosh I really ate your ear off with this one

for everyone wondering about our bestie w 50k savings: this is her story !!

#u did a good job getting through all that and doing well for urself <3 #ask #anon #stellanswers <3

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haikyuuthots · 4 years ago

Note

hi there! i’ve been a follower for awhile but i’m asking this anonymously bc i dont feel like exposing myself lol. but i was wondering if i can get an emergency request. i have been in quarantine for a year (since March 12-so almost a year) because i’m considered a high risk person during the pandemic, and i’ve been quarantined with my parents who can be extremely toxic at times. On top of that, I’m a full time college student and am experiencing burnout and am just overall at an extreme low right now. It’s just pilling on top of one another and is just weighing so heavily on me—i’m not sleeping, i’m barely able to focus and i’m just in such a self-hatred state of mind because of my parents and school. I just feel like its too much at this point and I just want everything to pause for a moment so i can breathe for even just a moment. If it isn’t too much trouble can I just get Ushijima (and/or Sakusa or honestly anyone you want to add) and how they would help out their s/o? thank you so much, your writings make my day brighter so please keep up the good work :)

A/n: Thank u so much for trusting me enough to help u feel better. This is for u love, i know life can be so hard, I truly hope you feel better soon, please if u ever feel comfortable enough to talk, don’t hesitate to message me!❣️i appreciate u, more than u could ever imagine. Thank u! Hope you enjoy this 🤍

Warnings: talk about being sad and stressed, but not very explicit.

Characters: Ushijima Wakatoshi & Sakusa Kiyoomi

For the first time in a while, nothing in the world mattered. - Ushijima Wakatoshi

———————————————————

Life was overwhelming, it truly was. The more you thought about how many issues you had the more stressed you got. The last thing you wanted was to be consumed by this negative energy, you hated it and all you wanted to do was stop feeling this way but the more the days passed the more evident it got that you weren’t feeling like yourself, and your boyfriend was the first to notice your change in attitude. Ushijima was very observant, he rarely ever said much but the minute he realized you were down he wanted to do everything in his power to lift your spirits up. He would do anything to see a genuine smile on your face again.

You were surprised to see you boyfriend when you woke up Tuesday morning, making breakfast in the kitchen usually by this time he’d be gone, training for the majority of the day.

“Toshi? What are you doing?” You asked, a bit confused by the sight in front of you.

“Y/n, love, I’m making you breakfast.” He says lifting up the pan a little, showing you the scrambled eggs.

You giggle a bit, “yeah baby I see that, but I mean what are doing here now? Shouldn’t you be at practice?”

Ushijima lowers the heat on the pan and makes his way over to you, “i asked for today off, I want to be with you.”

You’re looking up at him with a shocked face “w-hat, why?”

He’s cupping your face, looking down at you lovingly “I love you. You don’t have to say anything now, but it’s been hard to ignore how down you’ve been I just want to be here with you, because I will always be with you, no matter what.”

Your vision begins to blur form the tears that are threatening to come out, you roughly wrap your arms around his body, and nuzzle your face into his chest. He holds you tightly, resting his chin on your head.

“I’m just- so tired. I feel like everything is falling apart.” You barely whisper out, tears prickling down your face.

Ushijimas heart breaks at the sound of your voice, but he tries his best to keep a strong tone, for your sake.

“Love, I’m here for you. Today, tomorrow, and every day after that. I won’t ever let you feel this alone.”

He pulls away, slightly wiping your tears, smiling down at you “I made you your favorite, would you like to eat now?”

You smile up at him, before you answer you give him a small peck on the lips “yes. I would love to eat with you.”

Your boyfriend spent the rest of the day by your side. He planned out all your favorite activities, starting with going to the movies, later getting frozen yogurt, and finally going to your favorite pond to feed the ducks. During that entire time you forgot about everything that negatively weighed on you, you were beyond grateful for Ushijima , because for the first time in a while, nothing in the world mattered. He kept his word too, every day he never failed to remind you that he was there and he would always be there, for you, for anything you ever needed.

I’ll be here for you, til’ the end. - Sakusa Kiyoomi

——————————————————

It was 4Am and you rolled over again, looked like it would be another sleepless night. You couldn’t remember when the last time you got a good 8 hours of sleep was. It seemed that the stress of everything going on your life was specifically haunting you at night.

Looking over you see your boyfriends sleeping figure, you sigh thinking about how disappointed he’d be if he saw you awake at this hour. You quietly head over to grab your phone, trying to distract your negative thoughts by watching videos. After 15 minutes youre startled by your boyfriends sleepy voice

“y/n? Why are you up?”

“I can’t sleep, but don’t worry about it, you just go back to sleep oomi.”

You resume your video, watching until a hand begins hovering over the screen and your boyfriend briefly snatches your phone away from your hold

“Oomi, what?” You asked a bit confused,

Sakusa is now sitting up as he turns on the lamp beside your nightstand, he’s more awake now, gently rubbing his eyes

“Baby. What’s wrong?” He asks you,

“N-nothings wrong, I just can’t sleep tonight. But I’m okay.” You try your best to fake a smile, in hopes to not worry your boyfriend, but he knew you like the palm of his hand, he could tell when something was wrong.

Looking at you, more intensely he gently runs his finger under the bags under your eyes “you haven’t been sleeping have you?”

You audibly gasp at his realization, “I-I’m trying too, I am but”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Concern is laced all over his words

“I-I, just didn’t want to worry you.” You’re looking down as tears start falling down your face

Sakusa is looking at you with soft eyes, immediately he brings your body towards his and engulfs you into a hug. He’s holding you tightly as he speaks

“It’s okay, you’ll be okay.”

You continue crying on him, as you release your built up frustrations. He made it easy to cry, you couldn’t keep wishing things would be different, you’ve been so hard on yourself lately, but Oomi here comforting you was all you needed to help relieve that.

You two stayed in that position for a few minutes before you finally regained your composure, Sakusa holding you the entire time.

Finally pulling away he wipes your tears, looking deeply into your eyes

“I love you, you’re my entire world y/n. And I’ll be here for you, til the end, anytime you need me. Please never forget that”

You smile at his genuine words. Sakusa leans down to connect his lips with yours, kissing you lovingly.

Pulling away, Sakusa finds the remote control turning the tv on. You’re a bit confused by his actions

“Wh-?”

“I won’t fall asleep until you do.” He cuts you off, his eyes still looking at the tv.

“Kiyoomi , don’t do-“

He looks back at you, “I mean it, I’m staying up with you, until you’re asleep.”

And he did, he didn’t sleep until he made sure you did first. Every night after that, he made sure to stay up with you until you slept, not only that but he was very attentive with anything you needed, caring for you, listening to you and reassuring you that you’d be fine. You were beyond thankful for him, because your boyfriend showed you time and time again that he would do absolutely everything to make sure you were aware at the fact that you were never alone.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu blog #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu! x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu boys #haikyuu x y/n #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #kiyoomi sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi drabbles #ushijima Wakatoshi drabbles

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baecvlt · 4 years ago

Text

Better Late than Never

in which the reader was set up on a blind date by Sonia Nevermind with Kazuichi Soda

• Kazuichi Soda x Reader

• fluff

• fem reader

• original idea <33

BTW YALL this might sound accidentally self insert-ish but that’s because I gave the character interests (since this is a date fic) but I dont know anything else to put for them. anyway enjoy still.

“So, there’s no one there?”

I glared at her, death staring into her clear, blue eyes. “What the fuck is ‘there’?”. She sighed and lightly hit my arm. “I’m asking you if you have a crush, silly!,” she spat, yet her tone remained friendly. I shook my head. “I don’t find any of these people attractive, Sonia”.

“So you wouldn’t go out witj a classmate?”

“No, Sonia”

She stays silent, suddenly darting her eyes at Hajime. “How about him,” she asked,“Hagime seems like a nice guy”. I shrugged. “Not my cup of tea, really”. She then points at Teruteru,“And him?”. I looked at Teruteru, who was already gawking me. “God, no, Sonia,” I gagged,“Too perverted for my liking”. She then began listing names. Here is what I had to say for all of them.

Hajime: Boring

Nekomaru: LOUD

Fuyuhiko: Mean and short

Nagito: Psycho!

Eventually, she gave up. I didnt feel any way of them, who’s to know how I feel about anyone else at this school? “Fine,” she said, but her eyes lit up,“Oo! How about-”.

“Oof!”

He had bumped into me, knowing me to the floor. Kazuichi Soda: the Ultimate Mechanic. “Yeah, him!,” Sonia said. I looked at Kazuichi, disgust on my face. “Not in a million years”. “Huh?” (Kazuichi was madly confused). Sonia grumbled,“What’s wrong with him?”.

“What isn’t there wrong with him? He also doesn’t bathe!”

“Ouch, I bathe,” he said. “Why were you in such a rush anyway?,” I asked. He shrugged, but eventually sighed and revealed his reason. “I got excited,” he said softly. Sonia and I were confused.

“I just got updated on my— something. I’m going to the office to see what they have to tell me about this thing I’m in the middle of”

I was confused, but I had to know now. “Anyway, I’m sorry,” he said, walking right past us. I stood there, but Sonia got my attention. “Come on, we’re gonna be late to Economics”. She grabbed my arm and pulled me to class. When we got there, everybody was huddled up. There was something they were being discreet about. “Hello, friends,” Sonia said,“What are we talking about?”. “Kazuichi,” Ibuki said without the slightest hesitation.

Okay, maybe not that discreet.

“What’s wrong with him?,” I asked,“Besides all that, I mean”. “Cut him some slack,” Hajime said, now I knew the situation was a little more sensitive than I thought. Sonia and I both got our chair to listen. Hajime sighed,“This morning, I woke up and went to get Kazuichi for class. He wasn’t in his room. Later that day, I went go check on him and he was in his room, but when I opened the door, his eyes were just read and tired. I asked him is all was well, he only nodded and smiled. It took a while, but he still told me he was okay, now adding in the detail that the board had gotten back to him on his request to be transferred elsewhere”. My mouth dropped slightly. “Transferred where?,” I asked, Hajime only shrugged.

“This is all Sonia’s fault!”

We looked at Hioyoko, Sonia quick in defending herself. “He wouldn’t transfer schools because of me, it’s probably all your fault,” she was defensive,“Maybe if you weren’t so mean to him all the time—”. Suddenly, arguing broke out. I heard many things. Hajime said he hasn’t shown interest in her lately, Sonia seeming slightly offended. Gundham was blamed, Ibuki wasn’t being blamed (she was never cold with him). Suddenly, Mikan spoke out. “Wait!”. She yelled, so we were quiet. Surprised by her tone, it made us all shut up. “What if it’s all our faults?,” she suggested,“Y-You didn’t have to be cold to him. Who else besides Ibuki or Hajime spoke to him without immediately judging character?”. It made me think, but suddenly Fuyuhiko spoke. “Fuck that!,” he said,“The dude probably wasn’t enough to be here so they dropped him. He was also probably too embarrassed to say that. And the eyes? Please! They were red because he might be some type of pothead; high out of his mind!”. “That’s a really shitty thing to say,” Hiyoko said,“Even *I* know that’s harsh”.

“I don’t give a fuck; Its true”

Hajime shook his head,“I’m gonna agree with Mikan”. “Wait isn’t it like extremely hard to transfer from this school?”. “No, not quite,” Chiaki said,“When given valid reason, the board can transfer a student elsewhere”. “If in fact the mistreatment of Kazuichi was the reason he sought transfer,” Peko added,“He probably went with ‘mental health concerns’. Since we’re all of age, he wouldn’t need to run it by a parent or guardian, making it much easier for him to transfer”. There was silence. “So what now?,” I ask. Hajime had a quick answer,“We treat him better”. “Is it not too late?”. Peko shook her head.

“If Kazuichi really went to simply be spoken about the appeal, students are given three days to make their final decision. Afterwards, there is no going back since students are allowed an appeal once”

We all still sat there. Were some of us actually cold towards him? I mean, everyone else in the academy didn’t even acknowledge him (neither did some of us, but we were around more, right?). “Alright, studebts, to your seats now!”. The professor being there had us scurrying away from Hajime’s desk. Throughout the whole class, I couldn’t focus. I kept thinking of Kazuichi, but why? Why did I care about him leaving so much?

The bell rang, Sonia waited for me. Econimics was our last class every Thrusday. The minute I was within her reach, she continued the conversation from earlier today. “So, I was thinking: you can’t talk to boys for shit,” she said. “And?”.

“What if I set you up on a blind. date.— huh? How about that?”

I sneered. Blind dates—they were such a tacky idea to me, what the fuck, but this was Sonia. She always new what was best for me when it came to, well, everything. Plus, it might be fun, or funny?

“Oh, what the hell. I’ll give it a try”

Sonia smiled so hard, her eyes shut. She squealed. “I cant wait,” she said,“I promise, this’ll be good for you. Just you wait!”. She kissed me on the cheek, leaving me behind. “Wait— we aren’t going home together?,” I asked. She shook her head. “I have some things to take care of! See you tomorrow, love”. She hurries her way. That girl. I’ll never understand her…

“Hey, how’s it going? … Nice … Well, now that you ask, I was wondering if you were open to a blind date? … Splendid! Friday, agree to meet with this girl, here’s her number … Let’s make things more interesting … Don’t tell her your name … Yes, you do know her”

I got home, setting my book bag down and practically collapsing onto my mattress. What a day. Before I got in thought about all that I was told today, as if on cue, my phone rang. It was a message, one from a number I had never seen before.

???: Hi :)

I was friendly, I didn’t have to be.

Me: Hello :)

As if a second cue went off, Sonia texts me.

Sonia: Has your blind date messaged you? btw make up a name! dont reveal anything !

Me: OH okok

I return back to the unknown sender.

Me: sonia put you up to this ?

???: yes, ma’am (or sir, or i have no clue. sonia said you were a girl. sorry)

Me: hey dont worry, sonia said she was setting me up with a guy, so i assumed too. i am a girl and being called ma’am doesn’t bother me.

???: well you assumed correctly, but thank you for letting me know, ma’am i get unsure.

???: anyway, what’s ur name?

I thought of a good, normal name, but nothing occurred to me. I looked all around my room for an object. Suddenly, my eyes landed on the family camera I had left in my room whenI used it for a project.

Me: my name is cam, hbu

???: Zero

Me: Is that really your name?

Zero: no but it makes sense to me

Me: wdym?

Zero: itd just me i guess

Me: ur gonna make me sad booo

Zero: oops, sorry !

Me: lol Its fine. but seriously, I know there is someone who cares about you. if anything Is wrong. you can talk to me, even if our date friday goes to shit :)

Zero: Yeahyesh thanks for that, Cam. its just my friends, i dont feel seen by them and it just feels like my parents have followed me.

Me: Well, they probably really love you. if it helps, I care about you :))

Zero: you’re very kind

Me: aw noooo. anyway, how was your day?

Zero: it coulda been better. yours?

Me: yeaaaa same here

Zero: what’s wrong?

Me: found something out ab a friend of mine.

Zero: is everything okay?

Me: Yea it all should be if I can fix things with him

Zero: you must really care ab him

Me: yea i really do

“Zero” decided it’d be best to change the subject since he figured it was slightly depressive (which it was). From the time I got home (4am) to 12am, we talked. I was excited because for once in my life, I was speaking to someone who liked the things I did. The same movies, the same bands. He listened to a lot of new wave and indie rock. Eventually, I got sleepy, so we called it a night. He called me cute and let me go to bed.

I actually looked forward to our date Friday. I didn’t care who he was, for he was perfect.

Morning came around and I just wanted to talk to him. In fact that’s all I did. We texted in homeroom, Theater, Calculus, etc. It was Friday today, meaning we’d have to meet today after school, thus revealing ourselves. Sonia and I were in calculus and she noticed I wouldn’t put my phone down. “God, someone’s obsessed,” she teased. “He means everything to me,” I said, breaking no eye contact with my screen. Sonia went to Kazuichi, who I have class with for Calculus, Government and Chem (which we both failed last year). I couldn’t care to break my focus on my screen, but I did head him mutter “she’s perfect”. So Kazuichi found someone else? That’s fine, but will she care enough to stop him from transferring? Could be be transferring for her?!

As the day grew the situation began getting fucking dire.

I was headed to my final class, chemistry. I had my phone in hand, texting away and very distracted. Suddenly, just like yesterday: “Oof!”. I was on the floor and above me? Kazuichi Soda. “I’m sorry, oh my god,” he said as he helped me up. I shook my head. “Nono, this time it’s my fault,” I said, dusting myself off,“I wasn’t paying attention”.

“I was also very distracted, heh”

I smiled, picking his phone up from the ground. His screen turned on, exposing that he had been listening to music. “Cocteau Twins”. I handed him his phone. “You like them,” I asked. He nodded,“Do you?”.

“Yeah, I do”

“Cool... where are you headed?”

“Chem”

“Why so early? There’s a whole hour and a half till we have to be there, plus the 5 minute tardy bell”

“I like being early. Where were you going?”

“My room,” he said,“I can’t find my chemistry journal, so I figured I should look for it before class”. “In your room?”. He nodded. For some sick and weird reason, I felt bad leaving him to do that on his own. “I can help you,” I blurted, almost instantly. His face lit up. “Really?!”. His overly joyed expression brought a smile out in me as well. “Yeah,” I answered softly. He grabbed my hand and ran with me up to his room, having me keep up with him. We got to his room as my heels skid slightly behind him. When opened the door and turned on the light, my jaw dropped.

His room was a complete and utter mess.

“Kazu- how is anything gonna get found in here?,” I asked, trying to keep my tone as calm as possible. “Its manageable,” he answered, entering and starting to look through all his junk,“I haven’t had the energy to clean my room anyway. It hasn’t really bothered me”. I shook my head as I walked in. “No, this isn’t right,” I said, an idea coming to mind,“Why don’t you lay there and rest up a little? I’ll clean your room”. His eyes lit up. “Really?”. I nodded, a warm smile creeping up on my lips. “Well, okay,” he answered,“Thank you, sweetheart”. I couldn’t even react to the pet name. His hat rested over his eyes as he quite literally fell asleep before my very eyes.

With that, I got to work.

Cleaning out his room, taught me a few things. He also happens to like the same films as I do, but he likes more action films. I also learned he has a much bigger wardrobe than I thought. Lastly, he isn’t as mess as I thought. He had everything one would need to clean, even owned a vacuum. It took me about 1 hour and 5 minutes to clean out. I hadn’t realized it was that long, time went by me like a breeze. I approached him and sat by him. In a pattern, I shook him carefully then played with his hot pink hair, which was softer than expected.

God, there’s something wrong with me.

He woke up and I removed the hat from over his eyes. He lay as he looked around, seeing his room uncluttered. “Wow, it’s like a brand new room,” he said happily. “Yep”. He sat up and smiled back at me. “Thank you,” he repeated.

“It’s nothing, really”

His voice was still groggy, I could tell he was a little dazed after his nap. He lay back and laughed to himself as we sat on his bed. “What?”. He shook his head as the lazy smile on his face grew slightly wider. “You’re really pretty”. I blushed a little, and laughed nervously. “Thanks”. He sat back up again, we both had no idea what to do now, but look at each other. It was a comfortable silence. I could forever into his oddly colored eyes.

I wanted him to kiss me, now.

I’ve truly lost my mind. I had no idea if it was just tension or anything but that. Would I like it or would I despise it. I decided to maybe test these waters, but before I could, he beat me to it. Out of nowhere, he grabbed my chin, pulling me to his lips. Kissing me skillfully, he lay back and I followed so I wouldn’t be away from him, leaving me straddling his lap. What a day to forget to wear shorts under my skirt. With how he kiss me and I kissed him, it was no secret we wanted this for a while now. The fact that I wanted this made my stomach knot. We pulled away, slightly winded. “That was so fucking hot”. I proceeded to tell him this never happened. He agreed it didn’t. Then he added:

“I’ve never done that before”

“Neither have I-”

Then, it hit me. Kazuichi was my first kiss.

“This must be a very shitty realization,” he said, laughing a little. “Shut up, let’s get to class”. He nodded, getting up from bed, seeing that his journal was on his now clean and visible desk. He picked it up and now we were ready to go. We were still early, despite distance and how crowded the halls were. We sat at our own table, usually we both sat alone since none of our friends had this class. We all knew each other, but we wouldn’t exactly call certain people friends. Anyway, during class, I was extremely bothered. I felt sick and I couldn’t stop thinking about that fucking kiss.

At all.

I really didn’t want him to leave. I couldn’t stand the thought of him leaving. I had to stop it, but why did I want to anyway. Is this pity? It didn’t feel like it; I can tell when I pity someone and this didn’t feel like pity. Could it be that he’s always been there?

I’ve never fallen in love before, nor caught feelings. Something about him felt so familiar. What has Kazuichi done for me?

I began to think and it all came to me. The times I had no one else to talk to so he’d be there, whenever someone has bailed on me I’d go to him. I’ve taken him for granted, yet he’s smiled through it all. To think I’d hurt him made me feel worse. “God, I hate this class,” he whispered to me. I broke away from my thought. “Oh, me too,” I answered,“How are you doing, though?”.

“In this class?”

I nodded. “Terrible”.

I mouthed an “oh”. After a second, I offered a solution. “Well, you can always ask me for help,” I said. “Seriously?,” his eyes lit up like when we were in his room. God his crooked, toothy smile had me smiling, it was intoxicating. “Yeah, come to me anytime,” I said, getting quiet. This was quite awful. On top of that, I remembered I had a date after today. I didn’t even want whoever the fuck I had to meet with. As planned by Sonia, we were to meet at the bridge in between dorms on the third floor at 7pm (mind you, I don’t have a room in this school so there really is no reason for me to stay so late). Now that I think about it, it really sounds like more of a meetup than a date. Maybe it wasn’t so important for me to meet this mystery man. I can just text him I was no longer interested.

And that’s what I chose to do.

After class, I bumped into Sonia. She smiled widely when she saw me. “Oh my god, Are you excited for tonight?!”. Here I am, bursting her bubble.

“No”

Her smile went down slowly. “Why not?,” she asked. “I’m not going”.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU AREN’T GOING?”

That was probably the loudest she’s ever spoken. “I mean, I don’t want to”. “But this was important, what the fuck,” she seemed too upset about it. “I don’t want him,” I said,“I’m into someone else”. “WHO?”. I swallowed before the name came out of my mouth,“Kazuichi...”.She slapped her hand over her mouth. “I know its emba-”.

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M GONNA SAY, oh my god. You have to go still, don’t leave your blind date hanging, please. I’m begging you, please!”

I scoffed.

I nodded. “Fine, but I really cannot pretend to have a good time,” I said to her. Nodding frantically, she said she knows. Ultimately, it was my choice and she knew that. Sonia walked home with me, then said she would walk back with me when it came time to meet my blind date. She wanted be there for when he was revealed. I got a message from this man when I got home.

Zero: Hey, are you sure you want to meet?

I raised a brow and showed Sonia. She covered her mouth, but quickly told me to say yes. So that’s exactly what I did.

Me: Yeah

Zero: ok

“He isn’t into it,” I said, showing Sonia the messages. “He will be”. Damn, she was so dead set on this and for what? “Come on,” she said,“We should get going”. I nodded, getting up from the floor we sat on in my room. Locking up, we swiftly headed to the bridge.

It was dark by the time we got there.

“Hello?”

No answer. “Maybe wait a little,” Sonia suggested,“He gets shy”. I turned to her. “Do you know him?,” I asked. “Of course I do”. She must’ve misunderstood what I asked. “No, but do you know him know him,” I cleared up,“like is he close to any of us”. She nodded, now I was really curious. A couple minutes passed and he still wasn’t there. “See,” I said,“Fucking no-show!”. My hands clenched into a fist. Sonia was getting closer to me, looking as if she had some consoling words to say, but she stopped. Smiling, she backed away. Then, I heard footsteps behind me. She stepped away from me, nodding towards me, but that was just a signal for me to turn around. I heard a gasp,“You?”.

The familiarity of the voice—it all made sense now.

“You!,” I cried. My eyes watered as a smiling Kazuichi stood in front of me. I hugged him and I could tell he wasn’t expecting me. “God, I thought you’d hate me,” he sighed, relieved. I shook my head. “I’ll leave you to it,” Sonia said,“I have to go anyway; my ride’s here”. We waved her off, getting back to each other. “Wanna head into my room?”.

We headed into his room, snuck in, I’m not supposed to be here. He threw himself onto his bed as his hands made a gesture for me to get on. I straddled him like before and kissed him. “Someone’s excited,” he teased. I scoffed. “I’m not the only one”. His face turned red as he looked away. “Hey, Kazuichi? Can we talk”. He nodded, waiting for me to introduce the topic.

“Hajime and, well, everyone else including Sonia and myself were talking and—”

“Yeah?”

“That you’re leaving?”

“Oh... yeah. I am”

I frowned, getting off him, now sitting next to him. He looked upset now that he remembered. “It isn’t too late now, is it?”. He shook his read putting his hat on his bedside drawer (me thinks this is the first time I’ve seen him without a hat). “Tomorrow, I go confirm my decision,” he said,“I feel... miserable in Hope Peak. I don’t belong here”.

“Kazu...”

“You don’t know what it feels like not having anything in common with anyone. Everyone being so fucking distant”

“I do know how the first one feels, but... we have each other to relate to”

“I just hate how this school makes me feel and I want it to go away”

He shivered as his eyes began to water. It hurt so much to see him cry. I never have. “Baby, look at me,” I said to him,“We all love you, okay? I love you. I’m sorry for being so cold towards you this whole time. You were always there”. He stuck his head into my chest and just let everything go. I played with his hair as he got rid of emotion. I lay his head down and straddled him again. Quickly, I kissed all over his tear-stained face, the taste of salt persistent on my lips. The kisses got him riled up and giggly once again, making him tackle me. I fell back on the bed as he did the same to me. He smooched me on the lips before giving me his final word.

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

I nodded, not pressuring him. I wanted him to be so sure about staying. I also wanted him to know that if he did stay, I would be there, always. “You need a ride home?”, he asked. I could have gone home, but I didn’t necessarily want to. “Aw, don’t you want me to stay?,” I pouted. The way I said it was so playful it almost felt like teasing. He blushed frantically answering,“Yeah, I do”. I then realized I didn’t have clothes to sleep in.

And no, sleeping in underwear could never be an option. (Not yet, at least)

“Damnit, I don’t have clothes”. That’s when he opened his drawer and threw some sweatpants at me. “You have a shirt under that one, correct?,” he asked. I nodded, unbuttoning my school shirt. it was a silk black undershirt, could be used as an undergarment or sleepwear. “Hey, I’m just gonna go out to the communal to wash up, okay?”.

“That’s fine, baby”

He smiled, heading off with his toothbrush and towel. Once the door shut, I with a I slid off my socks. I then stood up and took off my skirt. The clothing fit me kind of snug, but I didn’t mind. I lay back and waited for him patiently.

His shower was quick, well, in my opinion it was. His hair gave off a brisk scent, as he lay next to me. His eyes looked weak as he hug his face into my chest. It wasn’t in a weird way or anything, so I simply assumed he was tired. “Are you sleepy, yet?”. He nodded, his face in deeper. “I’m really sleepy,” he said softly. I ran my fingers through his hair like before and let him sleep. Watching how at ease he was in my embrace soothed me to rest. According to Hajime, he was usually a light sleeper. The slightest touch or noise would wake him up. He would shift around or mumble in his sleep. This time, it was different.

It was peaceful.

The next morning, I woke up and put on yesterday’s clothes. When I got to putting on my shoes, I felt him move behind me. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” I said sweetly. “Good morning, angel,” he said, his voice straining as he stretched with a grunt,“Time?”.

“9:30”

He got up and threw on a pair of clothes that I have never seen him in. “You want a ride home?,” he asked,“I meet with the board today at 10. If I take you home now, I can make it back in good time”. I nodded, going hand in hand with him after he had put his shoes on.

I never knew Kazuichi drove. I recall him say he had terrible motion sickness, yet here he was driving me home in a borrowed car that had been worked on in the school’s auto shop class. I had nothing else to talk about and the silence was killing me. “So you can drive?”.

“I can drive”

“What about your motion sickness?”

He clicked his tongue. “Yeah, that’s always been there, always will be,” he began to explain,“but I’ve learned to ignore it”. He put his arm around me, smiling. I smiled, yet I was terrified. What if I wasn’t enough to make him stay? As he drove, I noticed he had nothing in mind. With Kazuichi, you can always tell when there’s something on his mind. Always. He’ll squint, mouth some words to himself...that’s how you know. It began to overwhelm me and I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry knowing there was possibly nothing I can say or do for him to stay. He may know I love him, but what if the timing was off?

Oh, well.

We arrived at my home, him walking me up to my doorstep. He kissed me, his smile dropping afterward. Fuck, he must’ve noticed... “Hey, is everything okay?”. I nodded. “Okay,” he said, uncertainty in his tone,“Well, text me if anything!”. I nodded, a faint smile on my face. I headed inside and lay in bed.

My memory of that Saturday and the Sunday that followed are fogged. I don’t remember leaving my room, let alone my house. Monday came around. I was nervous. I walked down the halls, Sonia standing and an expression of worry spread across her face. “Sonia,” I said,“What’s wrong?”. She gulped and I knew nothing positive would come out of this.

“Hajime hasn’t seen Kazuichi all day”

My eyes widened and I wanted to pass out. “No, that can’t be!”. I didn’t want to feel this. It was all guilt. Why, though? Everything seemed fine when we had last seen each other, it made no sense. “You haven’t talked to him?,” she asked. I shook my head. Sonia sighed. “Okay,” she began,“We have government today. Your only class with him. All we have to do is wait and then we’ll know for sure”. I nodded, trying not to let emotions get to me.

Now in government, I waited, We all did. None of us had heard a word from him. Soon enough, an hour passed: no Kazuichi. Tearful, my eyes shut as I placed my head on my table. Hajime walked up to me. “If its in any consolation at all,” he began,“Kazuichi really did like you. He loved you. I’m sure he knew you loved him”.

“Why the fuck do you make it sound like he’s dead?”

“I see how it would sound like so. I’m just gonna leave my words at that”

My eyes were burning and a headache began growing. Suddenly, there was pounding on thr door, pounding that startled the class. The teacher sighed. The knock was that of a late student, which obviously would’ve annoyed her considering this is a 65 minute class and it had been an hour or so. A student volunteered for the door and there stepped in a distressed Kazuichi.

“WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TEXT ME?!?”

I sniffled and my heart was beating out of my chest when I heard his voice and saw his face. “Kazuichi?!”. I ran up to him and hugged him, he was tense. “I was so worried,” he said. “That makes two of us”. I kissed him, he asked if I was okay and I nodded so frantically. “I didn’t text because I was sad!”. He hugged me tighter, kissing my forehead. I looked into his eyes, falling in love. Then I had realized one thing. “Wait”. He looked at me,“What’s up?”.

“WHY ARE YOU SO LATE?!”

“I HAD AN EYE EXAM!”

He walked to the teacher and handed her a doctor’s note. “You know I can’t mark you present right?,” she said. “You can’t mark me absent either, miss”. Yeah, he wasn’t the best student here. He walked back up to me and kissed me. “There’s like 2 minutes left,” he said,“Can we leave?”.

“Just go”

Being a nuisance paid off as we were all let out early. He grabbed my book bag and ran with me, pulling me by the hand. He took me to the back of the school, yeah, the very back behind the gym. I sat in his lap as he kissed me once more harder, now that no one was watching. I then faced him. “I thought you were leaving,” I whined. He ran his hands through my hair. “I was going to,” he said,“but I couldn’t do that to you, or to myself”. We sat in silence till I said,“Who would’ve thought?”.

“Yeah, in a million years, huh? What year we in?”

“Shut up”

I kissed him and felt him smile against my lips. “Don’t change, Kazuichi”. “Don’t plan on it,” he said,“I love you”. “I love you too”.

#cheap commissions #commisionwork #fan fic commission #kazuichi souda #kazuichi x reader #kazuichi soda x reader #kazuichi #kazuichi soda #kazuichi danganronpa #danganronpa goodbye despair #danganronpa

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impossible-rat-babies · 4 years ago

Text

first 20 lines meme

i got tagged by @coldshrugs tysm azia! tagging: @trvelyans, @zarneki, @rosykims, @forestcreatures, @starrypawz, @heartbrreak, @bitchesofostwick, @juniper-tree, @wayhavn, @pearlsandsteel, and whomever else go for it !

The challenge is to list the first lines of your 20 latest fanfics. these’ll include wips too lol there’s some vague nsft stuff below the cut--nothing truly explicit in these though

1. prompt fill wip:

Rubble digging into Pollux’s shoulder blades, a heavy dead weight across his back pressing down on him. He winces, gritting his teeth and there’s just shallow breaths, ribs pressing painfully into the ground.

2. pollux finding out fic:

Mason curses as he breaks yet another cigarette and he tosses it into the trash, yanking out the old worn packaging for another one. Hands shaking, he takes a deep breath to steady himself and it works this time.

3. more shoe string french fry biting fic:

Pollux fishes another fry out from the little package of shoe strings, chewing slowly before he speaks: “You remember when I bit you?”

Ortega groans, shoulders hunching and the hood of the car once again protests under their weight. “You’ve bitten me no less than three times, Lux.” He reminds him and Pollux chews another couple of fries and swallows.

4. bathtub fic:

Pollux sinks lower into the water and for the first time in a long while, it’s quiet.

The faucet still drips, ripples spreading out until they hit his knees and he too lets them sink beneath the water--distorted and unclear.

5. the five feet apart because they’re not (gay)

Five feet.

A foot between him and the desk, another two and a half feet of desk, and then Grayson a foot and a half away. Might as well be miles and Pollux sniffs (again) picking at his thumbnail (again).

Five minutes.

Five minutes they’ve been sitting in silence. Nick is quiet too, but there’s a buzzing of anxiety whirling and twisting on itself that Pollux isn’t sure if it’s his own or just Nick. Probably both, if he’s being honest with himself.

6. nightmare/dropping the cups fic:

it’s too late to still be awake, Ortega thinks. He should be in bed with Pollux, instead he’s picking his way around the kitchen, cleaning up the remnants of dinner neither of them bothered to deal with once they were done.

7. phone go brr fic:

it’s far too early when the distant sound of the factory standard phone chime beeps over and over again, drawing him out of sleep. The sun hasn’t even come up, Pollux squinting his eyes open to stare at the blue hour haze coming through the thin curtains.

8. pollux shaving his head panic attack rip:

4am and he’s stuck sitting on the lid of the toilet, hands shaking uncontrollably with what he knows is yet another panic attack, his upper back and diaphragm aching from the frantic breaths. It’s all muted under the sound of clippers, the buzz and the strain as he combs the blades through his curls, watching ringlet after ringlet fall to the white tiles. They’re cold beneath his bare toes and and oh god he can *feel* it—

Why do they have to be white tiles?

Cool air on the back of an open shift, shivering at the cold and indignity of it all, laying on his side and staring at the floor, large needle pressing against his lower back deeper, between vertebra and poking into his spine—

9. legit just some pwp

Pushed against the wall and Pollux gasps, Ortega’s lips immediately following to meet his again, open mouths and trying to breathe while kissing is incredibly difficult. Ortega pulls him closer and Pollux has to crane his neck to keep reaching his lips but he doesn’t mind the effort.

Pollux grasp his shirt, pulling on fancy buttons and silk to find skin, fingers running across his stomach, feeling Ortega’s breath catching.

10. don’t stop (color on the walls)

It’s a clear night out tonight, the sky an endless dome stretching miles and miles overhead out into deep inky blackness bespectacled by freckled stars.

Pollux blows a stream of smoke out of his mouth and it drifts up and up until it dissipates and he wonders if any particles of the smoke will reach that impossibly high ceiling. If they’ll touch moon perched on the roof, staring down at him with her grey blue light.

11. thigh kisses thigh kisses pollux kissing thighs (nsfw)

Hands on his belt buckle, sliding the belt through the loops and its tossed onto the floor. Pollux’s hands work at the button and zipper, sinking down to sit on the edge of the bed, knees trapping Ortega in close.

12. morning after stuff per usual lol

Pollux grumbles and grunts, hiking his pants up and over slim hips in a smooth motion, adjusting them around his waist once they’re buttoned and zipped up. His hip smarts a touch and he shift his weight from one foot to the other, rolling his ankle. It clicks like always does, his knee the same crackling as always.

13. more pwp bc. couches.

kissing a path down his erratically moving stomach and Pollux bites his trembling lip hard, head cocked at an awkward angle, shoulders pressed against the back cushion of the couch. Ortega’s hands gripping his hips, thumbs pressing into the divots of his hipbones and fuck he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget how big Ortega’s hands are, how he holds him so tightly and so assuredly.

14. the twenty questions fic im never going to finish:

“Okay question one.”

“Question one?”

“Well yeah, this is how twenty questions goes.”

Incredulous and obnoxious is how this is going. And the chair is especially uncomfortable, the stupid molded plastic thing.

Charge has refused to meet in his office, saying it was too professional of an environment to get to know someone and Pollux wonders if there’s anything professional about the man. Well, beyond the very nice (and expensive no doubt) dress shirt and slacks, but even then the sleeves are rolled up to his elbows.

15. a follow up to our reflections

Pain greets him when his eyes open and Pollux clenches his eyes shut once more, the screaming headache cut off suddenly at motions too fast for his battered brain and body. It quiets to a dull roar at the base of neck, spreading down across his shoulders with each breath.

He groans softly, but steady arms and hands find him, pulling him in close. Mason buries his face in his hair and Pollux tucks his face against his chest, hand smoothing out and across Mason’s ribs, feeling him breathe long and deep. Warmth seeping into his hand.

16. a wip i made happy without trying:

“Okay, okay now it’s your turn sweetheart. Worst fuck you’ve had.”

Pollux sighs and sits further back on Mason’s hips he’s straddled, crossing his arms and he fusses with a loose strand on his borrowed shirt. Pity that Mason is left shirtless, but he hasn’t complained yet.

“Okay fine...does it have to actually have been like, dick in...?”

“Nah.”

“Give me a minute then.”

“Wow that many?”

Pollux glances down and gives Mason a wicked glare, but the anger is tempered by the grin tugging at the corners of his lips. Mason grins back, hands running down the slope of Pollux’s back and down the curve of his thigh, fingers tucking against the back of his knees pressed against the mattress. He shivers at the motions, giving Mason a brief glance.

17. hotel california

A haze creeps around the edges of Rabbit’s mind, a steady rise back to consciousness; details escape them, the haze of drowsiness like cotton between their ears and they blink slowly in the dim yellow light. The gibberish hum of a tv turned down low on the edge of their hearing, but they know the sound of the news anywhere--the monotone of a newscaster droning

18. the “i refuse to believe adam doesn’t go down” fic + trans rights

Jamie pulls his head back when he hears Adam’s knees hit the floor, the air cool against his heated skin as he pulls his sweats down with him. Adam leans in, scattering Jamie’s hips with kisses and little marks he knows will leave behind marks. He’ll be covered in them by time they’re done and Jamie’s trembling, biting his lip and staring down at Adam.

19. another i dunno i just wanted a different perspective fic

ringing—ears ringing. sharp pain in his jaw and work out the kinks, make sure nothing is broken. Nothing is broken—he knows the pain of broken bones and this doesn’t feel like it. Nothing crunches as he moves his arms, the world rapidly spinning back into focus.

20. our reflections:

Feet stumbling over each other, Pollux’s shoulder slams into the door and he curses loudly. Pain radiates down his arm and into his ribs, scattering across his shoulder blades and ending at the headache welling across his scalp. Breath catching, pain making his diaphragm stutter but he knows this well. Pause, close his eyes, lean against the door, and take a few deep breaths to ease the tightness.

#tag meme #thank you azia im like a week late but im doing in nonetheless lol #owen writes #god i have so many wips #not counting the thousands of words sitting in other docs #pour one out for the abandoned 5k fic somewhere in my drafts

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abused-sides · 4 years ago

Note

Could you write maybe a short angst/fluff thing about them discovering each others triggers and talking about them and how to avoid them? (My family and the people around me dont really respect mine so this is kinda just a request for me to project onto 😅 you absolutely dont have to tho)

fuck your family we’re your family now

Trigger warning: This au follows the sides as abuse survivors.

Other tws for: Yelling, arguments, passive aggression, non-censored homophobic slur used to talk about oneself, sl*t used in a joking and literally not at all degrading/mean manner also non-censored, drama violence (like reading a script), flashback/panic attack, ableism off screen, throw up mention, allergies mention, glass breaking, lmk if i missed anything! <3

enjoy the hurt/comfort lol it took me like an hour and a half xD

Edit: love when it just doesn’t fucking add the read more :) sorry about that guys

Virgil:

-While Virgil was helping Patton fix dinner, Roman and Logan started an argument at the table. Logan was upset that Roman hadn’t finished his chore list for the week, but Roman insisted that he would finish it and he just needed some extra time to work on commissions.

-Logan: We all have jobs, Roman, we still manage to get our chores done! This place is a mess half of the time and that’s largely due to you neglecting the list.

-Roman: Why are you acting like some weekly chore list is worth more than our jobs? Isn’t that why we moved in together, to pursue our passions?

-Logan: How are we meant to do that when we’re living in a mess?

-Roman: You’re completely overreacting.

-Logan: Fine. You’re right. I’ll just do everything. Sorry to be a bother.

-Virgil had slipped away from his job chopping vegetables to glance at the missing items on Roman’s chore list. The first one read sweep and mop the floors. He silently took the broom from its spot between the fridge and the counter, and worked on piling up the mess on the floor.

-Logan was about to storm out of the room, when he noticed Virgil.

-Logan: Are you okay?

-Virgil: Hm? I’m fine.

-Logan: You’re shaking.

-Patton: Of course he’s shaking. Would it kill you two to be nicer to each other?

-Realization dawned on Logan’s face. He bit his lip as he thought, and then turned to Roman.

-Logan: I don’t like it when you neglect your chore list. I understand you’re busy, but it makes life harder for all of us.

-Virgil stopped sweeping, looking at Logan in confusion.

-Roman was just as confused.

-Roman: I... Yeah, I got that, weirdo.

-Logan: I want to make sure there’s no confusion. Do you have anything you want to say to me?

-Roman’s eyes flicked between Virgil- Shaking, gripping the broom, staring at them with wide eyes -and nodded slowly.

-Roman: Some weeks I can’t complete the entire chore list. Finishing my commissions are more important. The kitchen can be cleaned later.

-Patton: And I can help! I don’t mind chipping in on chores.

-Logan: I can live with that. I’m going to my room.

-After that, there was an unspoken agreement to state things plainly, especially when fighting, and to try and keep the yelling at a minimum. Janus and Remus may have appreciated it even more than Virgil did.

Patton:

-Janus and Remus were visiting for a movie night, and they were still setting up. Patton fussed over the organization of the snack table, Roman over who sat where.

-Remus: I’ve got my seat!

-He flopped into Janus’ lap, who grunted.

-Janus: Jesus Christ, babe.

-Logan: You two are so...

-Remus: What? Sexy?

-Logan: No... Not the word I’m looking for.

-Remus: A cute couple of boys?

-Logan fought not to laugh.

-Logan: No... Not that, either.

-Remus: Just an attractive pair of young faggots?

-While Logan, Roman, and Janus burst out laughing, Patton choked. He covered his mouth and tried to recover, but the others laughing quickly died down.

-Virgil: *softly* Patton? Are you okay?

-Patton: I’m fine.

-He forced a weak smile.

-Patton: Are we ready for the movie?

-Remus: You look like you’re going to be sick. Is it something I said?

-Patton: It’s not a big deal-

-Janus: Bullshit. Tell us. What, Remus calling us faggots? It’s okay to laugh, we know we are.

-Patton didn’t take the bait, shakily sitting down. Janus’ grin faded.

-Patton: I just... I don’t like that word too much, I guess. It, um...

-Virgil: *quietly* Bad memories?

-Patton nodded quickly.

-Remus: Jesus! You should have told me! I’m sorry, Pat-A-Cake! I guess Janny and I have just been calling each other that for so long, I forgot it bothers some people.

-Janus: Yeah, um, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have encouraged it, it wasn’t very-

-Patton: Guys, stop. You don’t have to apologize, okay? I’m okay.

-Roman opened his arms with a soft smile. Patton sighed happily and crawled into his lap, his back against Roman’s chest.

-Remus: So what can I say instead? Slu-

-Janus slapped his hand over Remus’ mouth.

-Janus: Why don’t you just try behaving?

-Patton: *laughing* No, I’m actually pretty used to that one. Roman can’t see a cute boy without calling himself that.

-Remus: Perfect. Was that the word you were looking for, Logan? Just a bunch of cute little sluts?

-Logan slapped his hand to his forehead.

-Logan: *dryly* That’s exactly the word I was looking for.

Logan:

-The morning was a busy one. Logan had three projects due that he’d somehow neglected, Roman had two auditions, Patton had an increase in orders to pass out, and Virgil had an interview for an apprenticeship at a tattoo parlour.

-Everyone raced around the kitchen-- No time for a family breakfast today. Logan banged at the coffee maker as it went painfully slow, Patton trying to carefully package a box of cupcakes. Roman slid between the two of them to get to the fridge, nearly tripping over Logan’s feet.

-Roman: Hey, watch out! Tryna get out the door here!

-Logan stiffened.

-Logan: Apologies, Roman.

-Roman looked at him in confusion at the formal tone, but shook it off and grabbed his water bottle so he could race out the door. Soon, the apartment was empty, everyone left to their respective tasks.

-Logan didn’t come home for a while.

-Patton left a sticky note on Logan’s door to say his dinner was packed up in the fridge for whenever he wanted it, but couldn’t stop feeling worried. He stayed up until 4am on the couch watching cartoons, eventually passing out.

-When Logan still wasn’t home in the morning, Roman carried Patton to bed and stormed across the hall.

-He rapped loudly on the door. It swung open a moment later, revealing the tired, angry face of his brother.

-Remus: What do you want?

-Roman: Is Logan with you?

-Remus: Well, I know where he’s not.

-Roman: I’m not fucking around. Just tell me-- We’re worried about him!

-Remus arched an eyebrow, a sick grin spreading across his face.

-Remus: *whispering* Are you now?

-Roman: What’s going on? Is he okay?

-Remus: *voice still hushed* You would think out of all of us, you and I would know better. You and I would know exactly what to say to make someone feel worthless. The difference is, it’s usually me who says it, and you who avoids it.

-Roman: I don’t get it. What did I say? Did I hurt him?

-Remus: He feels like a waste of space in his own home!

-Roman pushed past Remus into the apartment, finding Logan asleep, Janus curled around him protectively.

-Roman: Logan!

-Logan and Janus both startled awake. Janus glared and hissed.

-Roman: My God, why didn’t you tell anyone you weren’t coming home? We were so worried! Patton stayed up all night waiting for you! Why was your phone off?!

-Logan frowned in confusion and sat up, self-consciously scooting away from Janus and brushing his arm away. He found his glasses and put them on.

-Logan: What? I just figured, the apartment seemed cramped lately, people were getting cranky. Janus and Remus offered to let me stay before in the past, so I thought I might give you all some space.

-Roman shook his head wildly.

-Roman: Why would you think that? You scared us! Dinner’s still waiting for you in the fridge, and- and you could have at least called us to let us know!

-Logan fought not to shrink in on himself. He was silent for a while, before he said, quietly, confused, “I thought this was what you wanted.”

-Roman: No. Where did you-

-Roman paused.

-He felt so stupid.

-Roman: No- God, Logan, I’m so... I’m so sorry. I didn’t- I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry I ran into you, and then...

-Janus and Remus looked at Logan, waiting his response before reacting.

-Logan: It’s okay, Roman. I guess I just got confused. Has Patton started on breakfast yet?

-Roman: No, he’s asleep.

-Logan: I’ll make breakfast. I’ll be there in five minutes.

-Remus gripped Roman’s shoulder.

-Remus: I’ll show you out.

Roman:

-Roman and Remus were in the main four’s living room, scripts in each hand. Roman had asked Remus’ help in reading lines for a scene, and they had both gotten way too into it.

-Patton: Be careful with my throw pills! My sister stitched those!

-Remus cackled maniaclly from his position on the couch, a plastic sword held at Roman’s throat.

-Remus: Now what did I tell you?!

-Roman, on his knees on the carpet, faked a pained groan.

-Roman: It’s not true.

-Remus: Still thinking that, huh? What do I have to do to get it through your head? Beat it out of you?!

-Remus lurched forward with his fake sword.

-Roman’s heart stopped, the blood drained from his face, and he threw himself away from Remus’ advance. He fell back, nearly knocking his head against the coffee table they moved, crossing his arms in front of his face.

-Remus: Roman? *nervous laughter* Come on, I know I’m not that good an actor. Are you... Okay?

-Roman shakily lowered his arms, staring at Remus with wide, paranoid eyes. He gasped for breath.

-Patton jumped up from the kitchen table and raced into the living room. Remus caught Patton by the waist as Roman flinched and covered his face again.

-Patton’s eyes welled up.

-Patton: Roman? Roman, what’s wrong?

-Remus: *mumbling* Go sit on the couch, I’ll wave you over.

-Patton didn’t want to, but he listened. Remus sat on the ground, plenty of space between him and his brother.

-Remus: Ro? I need you to look around, tell me five things you can see.

-Roman: Stained- Stained glass.

-Remus: There’s no stained glass here. Look around, harder. What do you see?

-Roman: Your stupid mustache.

-Remus: *laughing* Yeah, that’s good. What else?

-Roman: Um... Um- The- The carpet.

-Remus: What colour is the carpet?

-Roman: Green- No. No, it’s beige.

-Roman ran his fingers along the beige carpet, trying to control his breathing.

-Remus: That’s good. Three more.

-Roman: I see Patton. Um, his glasses. There’s flour on his hands. Does that count?

-Remus: Sounds like five to me. Four things you can touch?

-Roman: Carpet. Um, my shirt. The table. Y-You?

-Remus scooted forward slowly and opened his arms for Roman to curl into. Remus held him tight, his chin rested on Roman’s shoulder.

-Remus: Tell me three things you can hear.

-Roman: Your heartbeat. Patton crying- Patton, please, love, I’m okay.

-Patton: I- I know. I’m sorry. I just- I know.

-Roman: Patton’s voice.

-Remus: Two things you can smell.

-Roman: That awful deodorant you use. And Janus, for some reason.

-Remus: One thing you can taste?

-Roman: Salt.

-Remus: You back in the present now?

-Roman buried his face in Remus’ chest. Remus held him tightly and waved Patton over. Patton staggered to his feet and Remus gently transferred Roman to curl in Patton’s lap, who cooed in his ear and kissed over the side of his face. Remus quietly slipped out of the apartment.

Remus:

-Janus: Remus? What’s wrong?

-Remus didn’t answer, slamming the door shut and headed straight for the bathroom. The water turned on a moment later.

-Janus looked through Remus’ drawer for his meds and counted them carefully. He’d taken his dosages. He settled against the headboard and waited for Remus to finish showering.

-About an hour later, Janus was startled awake to a wet pressure on his chest.

-Janus: *mumbling* Ew. You couldn’t have dried off? Got dressed?

-Remus looked up at him with wide, teary eyes. Janus raked his fingers through Remus’ hair and kissed his forehead.

-Remus: It doesn’t matter.

-Janus: It does. Was it that bitch again?

-Remus: She is a bitch.

-Janus: Exactly. What’d she say this time?

-Remus settled back against Janus’ chest.

-Remus: *mumbling* It doesn’t matter. She’s right.

-Janus: I doubt she’s ever been right about anything in her life, especially my Remus. So what did she say? I need to prove her wrong. Proving people wrong is kind of my thing.

-Remus let out a breathy laugh.

-Remus: I got upset again. A family told her about their child’s allergy, and she didn’t tell me. I made the dish normally and the girl threw up and had to go home. I started yelling, because I mean I was freaking out, what if I’d killed her? If it was a more severe allergy, she- she couldn’t have been older than seven, it could have killed her just being on the table, and- and-

-Janus: Hey, baby, take a second to breathe. Just breathe with me for a second, okay?

-Janus took in a deep breath, his chest raising and lowering Remus gently as he followed the pattern.

-Remus: She told me to stop worrying about it, that I was delusional. She asked if I remembered my meds. She said I was overreacting.

-Janus’ hold on Remus tightened as hatred boiled in his stomach.

-Janus: I’m going to get that bitch fired.

-Remus: Janus, no, I probably-

-Janus: You did not overreact. She didn’t tell you, and not only could that have killed the girl, it could have ruined your life. We can’t afford a good lawyer, they would pin it on you and shove it under the rug. And you’re not fucking delusional.

-Remus: I do... Have... Delusions...?

-Janus: That doesn’t have anything to do with this!

-Remus laughed weakly.

-Janus: Yeah, you have delusions that the girl on the fifth floor runs a meth lab, and that someone lives in the basement, but that- That was not a delusion. She should be put in jail!

-Remus raised his head and kissed Janus softly. He nuzzled into his neck, and Janus hugged him tight.

-Janus: I checked your meds. You’re completely caught up.

-Remus: I know.

-Janus: And you’re not crazy.

-Remus: I know.

-Janus: And I love you.

-Remus: I know. I love you, too.

Janus:

-Janus had snuck into the other apartment to see if Patton had any leftovers from his last orders. The others were asleep, but he knew they wouldn’t care. Patton left notes on the things no one could touch.

-He found a small plate of assorted cookies with no warning, and settled at the table to eat a few.

-On his way to put them back, someone on the floor above them screamed a string of curses, and a door slammed. Janus flinched, his shaky hands loosing hold of the plate. His heart dropped as it shattered along the tile.

-He couldn’t breathe.

-Clean it up and leave, go, now!

-Hurry up! Before someone finds you!

-Don’t worry about clean up, just go! You weren’t here!

-Logan: Janus?

-Janus’ head snapped up. He spoke before thinking about the words coming out.

-Janus: I just got here. I don’t know what happened, I was about to clean it up. It wasn’t me.

-Logan raised an eyebrow, eyes sleepy.

-Logan: *flatly* Really?

-That was the worst lie you’ve ever told in your life.

-His stomach coiled in embarrassment. He forced up a smile.

-Janus: I know what it looks like. But I assure you, it wasn’t me.

-He reached for the broom, but Logan carefully stepped over the glass and grabbed Janus’ wrist.

-Logan: Janus-

-Janus: *gasping* I’m sorry! It wasn’t me!

-Logan: Janus. I’m not angry! What’s the matter?

-Janus hesitantly met Logan’s eyes. Logan’s soft, worried eyes.

-Logan: You know I would never hurt you.

-Janus: Of course.

-Logan: I’ll clean this up. Do you... Want to stay over?

-Janus’ heart stuttered.

-Janus: If you want me to, I suppose I could stomach it.

-Logan smiled a little.

-Logan: You suppose?

-Janus: I suppose.

-Logan: I’ll meet you in there.

-Janus’ heartrate had slowly gone back to normal as he laid in Logan’s bed. A few minutes later, Logan slipped in behind him, hesitantly resting a hand on Janus’ hip.

-Janus rolled over and pulled Logan into his arms. Logan sighed in content, nuzzling into his chest.

-Janus: I didn’t break the plate.

-Logan: It doesn’t matter who broke the plate.

#virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus #deceit sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #roommates au #abuse tw #abuse mention

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catwithangerissues · 4 years ago

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Heyhey!! its a me again the💃tendou simp💃 tysm for that match omg I loved it so much u have no idea,, sO I went to brag show my friend what u wrote cus I also really liked ur writing style!!! ✨talent✨ and she liked it a lot and wanted one too but she doesn’t have a tumblr acc :( so if it’s not too much trouble could she get one too? Whenever u have the time!!

“I’m and INFP, kinda tall 🧍‍♀️with straight black hair and brown eyes, I’m really chill and very loyal to my friends :) not really a social person tho, I prefer to stay at home and hang out with fewer, closer people,, I really enjoy reading, writing and drawing!! been combining those last 2 lately and trying to make my own comic. I used to play volleyball on my schools female team as a striker🤸‍♀️ my Netflix its all romance, comedy and fantasy stuff. I have a big sweet addiction ngl 👀 and I also really enjoy dancing, I’m always trying to learn all kinds of tiktok choreographies for fun!! artistic makeup is one of my fave things to do on my free time too,, ty<3”

I’d match you up with...

✨KUNIMI AKIRA✨ Our little plant pot boy 🪴

I wrote this to a Suna playlist lmao, and I couldn’t choose between Iwa or Kunimi but here :)

-First off, you two would physically be so cute together. You’re both kinda tall, and I think your black hair + brown eyes compliments his<3

-You’re both really chill and very loyal to your friends! You two definitely have stay at home dates, and you usually end up cuddling and napping :) He may be a little tsundere but he’s very affectionate to you in private, he’s not a fan of pda. He’s very quiet with his affection in public, usually just opting for being close to you and always looking into your eyes while you two talk, he doesn’t let anyone else have his attention <3

-He definitely reads the stories you write and comics you make if you let him, he’ll give you criticism if you ask, and he’s a big supporter of your work! He always compliments your art and writing, he’ll help you come up with prompts if you need too<3 He really enjoys when you take one of the ideas he suggests and bring it to life, it makes him all warm and fuzzy inside<3

-Definitely loves that you used to play volleyball as a striker, he enjoys that you understand volleyball to the same level he does, and he secretly loves that you were both spikers. He also secretly enjoys watching volleyball matches with you, especially while you’re laying down on his chest and his chin is resting on your head or shoulder. He likes having access to your cheeks to kiss you occasionally when he gets distracted <3

-Is always down to have a Netflix and chill date. He doesn’t really care what you watch, he’ll tease you for your choices a little, but he still enjoys holding you and watching with you, even if he falls asleep a lot <3

-He totally fuels your sweets addiction, randomly bringing your favorites whenever he sees you. He always rolls his eyes and tucks his chin into his jacket to cover his red cheeks when you call out his simping >:) But he thinks the bright look on your face is too cute to pass up on the opportunity to see, so he continues to do it<3

-Will definitely watch you do Tiktok dances and occasionally laugh at you for your first attempts. Occasionally will be feeling needy and just come up behind you and wrap his arms around you, chin on your shoulder, and pull you away for cuddles<3 Your followers simp for your little cuddly tsundere boyfie

-Always takes pictures of your artistic makeup and compliments your abilities. Definitely has his favorite as his lock screen<3 Will go shopping with you for new things if you ask, but he’ll mask his excitement for getting to pick out new stuff for you with an eyeroll and a huff, but you know he doesn’t mind much<3

🌱Headcanons, cute couple things, scenarios, whatever else I feel like writing lmao

-He secretly gossips to you about the other volleyball boys and can get pretty talkative while doing so, breaking his normal demeanor

-You two have study dates <3

-Sends you cursed images and memes at like 4am

-“Accidentally” leaves his clothes at your house for you to wear <3 Isn’t so secretive about it lol

-He’s actually very protective, and while he doesn’t like pda, he will definitely kiss you if front of someone if they’re getting too friendly before taking your hand and dragging you away.

-He may be a little tsundere, but he’s a huge softie for you<3

-Bought you a stuffed animal that speaks when you squeeze it with a love confession message inside <3

-You know that popular tweet shit post that says: *hugs gf from behind, tucks her hair behind her ear and whispers* “eat all the frosted animal crackers again and we’re fucking done”, that’s Kunimi in my head lmao 😂 he doesn’t mean it though <3

-Loves to whisper sweet things in your ear at inconvenient times just to watch your expression change <3

-Head pats.

-Sleepy love confessions >>>>

🌱Hope you enjoyed the matchup! Thank you for requesting! I fucking love Kunimi🥺🪴

#haikyu #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu matchup #haikyuu matchups #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #hq kunimi #kunimi headcanons #kunimi x reader #kunimi fluff #kunimi akira #akira kunimi #akira x reader

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icedmo · 4 years ago

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Oh, i finally caught up with the chihayafuru manga yesterday so i’ll be talking about it here! Keep scrolling lol i’m just talking to myself.

Tl;dr? Peak fiction. Please, please watch and read it.

More detailed thoughts?

The most striking thing about chihayafuru is the love flowing out of the pages and screen; the way you can tell how much love has been poured into this series, how much love has been put into these characters, into every page, into each sentence - dialogue or simple text. I can’t tell you how rare it is to get this feeling whilst consuming media. It’s just so clear how much love this has been crafted with. Beyond compelling, really.

It’s the way chihayafuru isn’t afraid of making it’s characters lose. It’s the way chihayafuru makes it’s characters lose right when they’ve been set up to win, when any other series would give them the win, when you’re so hyped only to be met with a loss. Again to my first point, how much love has been poured into these characters and plot. It’s bold, it’s great. It’s realistic. Chihayafuru isn’t afraid at all to make it’s main cast, specifically Chihaya, lose.

And to talk about character growth in chihayafuru... characters like Shinobu and Arata, initially presented at the top of their lot, almost god like. Untouchable. Already honed to perfection, you look at them and go ‘how is it possible for them to grow?’ They exclude the energy of ever stable characters, unmoving finish lines. That’s how you view them. But then chihayafuru excels beyond your expectations. Genuinely, it would’ve worked fine to keep these characters as those near-deities, but it doesn’t. Chiahyafuru makes characters first painted as perfection grow and its amazing how it manages this.

Seriously, it’s such a simple concept, but it’s mind boggling. The writing in chihayafuru is simply top notch and i’m here repeating myself about the love poured into all it’s characters so evident. Shinobu and Arata’s growth wouldn’t have been possible if there wasn’t so much love poured into them. Example, Arata’s strength coming from how he always visualised himself playing in his old apartment, playing karuta with Taichi and Chihaya. That strength turned into a weakness, almost. Something that actually prevented his growth. And Shinobu? I could talk about her all day. But I won’t, because it’s 4am, and if you’ve read chihayafuru i am certain you know how amazing of a character she is, LOL.

Character growth, character growth... can i mention Chihaya and Inokuma’s first match? I genuinely was blown away watching it, jaw on the ground. The way it so clearly showed how much Chihaya grown, putting all her development on full blast, on full display. It was so amazing, i can’t even explain it. I mean, during season one you saw Chihaya as some amazing player - but whilst watching her play Inokuma you can’t help but think that season one Chihaya, who you previously saw as amazing, was... so weak, so unrefined. The match was short yet was such an amazing accumulation of all her development and showcasing it to you. No - Inokuma isn’t weak, not one bit. Chihaya is just stronger, she’s amazing, she’s worked so hard and you’ve watched her get to this point.

Chihayafuru being about a sport where gender and age don’t matter does so, so much for it. It has something any other shounen or sports series could never reach thematically. Harada-sensei, Inokuma, Sakurazawa-san.... the thematic game age-wise is phenomenal. Sure, objectively you may reach your peak as a young adult. But is it really that simple? No. Once you start aging you don’t just roll over and succumb to being a worker slave, focus on your kids. Only you get to decide when you’re our of your “prime.” It’s inspiring, seriously. How it shows your life isn’t going to end when you reach 30, you can indulge in niche hobbies. It’s something so simple, but it’s just such a great and rare message.

Scrap that, the entire thematic game is amazing. Strength is being free, age doesn’t limit your passion, you have to do what you don’t want in order to do what you do want. Keeping feelings inside is detrimental, hurting is inevitable. Understand the deeper meanings to everything around you, it’ll expand your world-view. When you’re lost, build something up - humans strive on a sense of purpose.

God, and can I talk about the feel of the series in general? How flowery it is, it’s so shoujou-y, LOL, but it can be so, so gorgeous at times.

Yup? Yup. Exactly.

Chihayafuru is so unbelievably stunning. It’s use of visuals to tell a story is completely top notch, what do i say. Pitch black karuta cards? Snow? Flowers? Barren wastelands, dreamscapes? It’s a beautiful series. So striking visually. And the poems, the poems... how Chihayafuru connects them to situations is superb, a prime example being after Chihaya rejects Taichi, he leaves the club, she breaks down in front of Fukasaku-sensei in the hallway and Chihaya talks about how she was the rock breaking apart all of Taichi’s built up emotions this entire time. It was amazing. And don’t even get me started on some of Kana’s monologues.

The pacing in Chihayafuru is snappy, but it’s so well done. It doesn’t feel lacklustre, but it doesn’t stall. This is thanks to how much development happens during matches - and can i mention quickly how well it develops a multitude of characters simultaneously? Again, how much love is in every nook and cranny of this series.

I’m gonna cut it off here since i don’t know how to include an ‘under the cut’ so i had to torment all 100 of my followers who, frankly, do not care, to scrolling through this utter wall of text.

Overall, i don’t have a preference between taichihaya and chihayarata - if anything, whilst i was first watching i couldn’t help but think about how strongly they were set up as a poly relationship? (Obviously my personal view, but if you were to watch it thinking about them as an ot3 it makes so much sense.)

I gotta say.... my favourite ship is sumire x kana 🥺 i just think they could be something so soft....! Shinobu x chihaya is amazing too, like c’mon... the whole ‘i’ve been dreaming of shinobu-chan’, their blatant, blatant yearning, shinobu never being showed to have interest in anybody apart from chihaya and momo-chan (arata obviously as strictly a rival, sensei has teased or set up nothing romantically between them.) i’d like to say my favourite character is chihaya but i have formed a very? Odd attachment to Rion which came out of... nowhere? LMAO. I adore sumire too. Wow this got long and it very messy and i have so so so much more to say but i simply.... peak fiction.... that’s all...

#chihayafuru #mo’s brainmush #the parts of the story with dementia were super hard for me to watch #that’s the only negative thing ive ever felt whilst consuming this series #simply because its something personal to me!#it woulda been nice if i was just warned beforehand 😭

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thestarssystem · 4 years ago

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aa hello i've written this like 10 times but it always got extremely long so i'm gonna try to keep it shorter hdbznj also i just wanted to say its okay, take ur time ! i hope u had a nice time on ur break :] also i'm glad you're fine with these asks cause i always end up rambling and stuff that makes the asks really long dgzbzj

i've been thinking about the possibility of a persecutor as well, but i wasn't really sure because i was like "why would the first alter that i directly hear/that presents themself to me be a persecutor" so ty for the response :]

& the thing about giving away information would make sense, the panic specifically started when i was feeling very ,, apathetic but on the upset scale? if that makes sense? and wanted to vent about it on a subreddit about venting, and i don't even remember what caused the panic, but i assumed it was either a. i started getting memories of the events i was trying to vent about (emotional flashback?) or b. it was just social anxiety acting up again because i knew i would do as much as writing it all out but i would never post it, but i think it could've been a mix of both + what you suggested (also quick note: when someone called me fox they also said stuff like their dms are open if i need to vent etc etc and i don't exactly remember what caused the panic to spike there? but i think i was just happy-ish someone cared and then i think something else happened in my mind that could've influenced me in a bad way (e.g self h4tred) but honestly i don't remember </3)

but another thing is, i've done that a bunch of times. for example i post neg posts / vents / rants a lot sometimes on a different website (on an account where i feel comfortable on, though i always delete them like 6 seconds later) and i posted one on the same subreddit on friday because i was panicking, i barely remember what happened when i was panicking though, and i kind of blocked everything out because i was too focused on the trigger (school). the voice hasn't been back for a while now so i'm starting to think it could've just been my imagination? though it could've been i'm just not able to hear it anymore / before that, or that it's not always there (which might/probably is the case if it wasnt me imagining stuff)

also, i have a few questions if thts okay :]

this might be a weird question, but is it normal to like- have a good relationship with alters almost right away, despite the fact it's your first time directly interacting? or have alters front even though you've never heard them / they've never interacted with you? i know those are two very contradicting statements, though i have no idea how to explain it further </3

one last thing: yesterday i had like 2 mental breakdowns because i got triggered by some stuff and i was up until like 3am (i went to bed at exactly 4am) and i did some stuff like switching up my profile, i was really tired and had been d1ssociating for hours after i got triggered. when i woke up today, and went on my profile, it all felt very ,, weird? like, it kind of caught me off guard when i realized my profile was different because i barely had memory of doing so (i could recall it though, it was just very very fuzzy and in one of them i felt like i wasn't even the one doing it). i just wanted to ask, could the d1ssociation have caused that, or is that just a normal thing for when you're tired?

sorry i didn't want to send just a regular update on things so i waited a bit until i had questions shxbxj hope you're doing well :]

- fox (i was a bit anxious because it was getting long so i kept them a bit short, so if u need me to elaborate on any of these i'd be glad to! i don't mind /gen)

oo wait i really quickly wanna make a small suggestion to you. Just something that we do a lot! If you have snapchat, i suggest creating a private story with yours as the only account that can see it and just use that to rant! It makes it easier to document for later (if you want) but also keeps it private and allows you to rant about what you’re feeling and get that nice moment of release haha.

Anyway, on to your actual questions:

So I would say that a lot of the time, it’s normal to not have a good relationship with alters right away. A lot of the time they’re kind of like strangers and you have to take the time to get to know them and be friends with them. For my system, we didn’t know of each other until we started talking about OSDD, but now I would consider most of us friends haha. Also, the first time that Daniel fronted was completely out of the blue. Granted, we didn’t know OSDD/DID at this point but there wasn’t even a slight sign that he was there haha. I would say that’s also fairly common. Maybe because they don’t want to talk to you, don’t need to talk to you, or are just too nervous to talk to you before hand.

Just normal dissociation could have caused the foggy memory about your profile, but the lack of sleep definitely didn’t help lol. When the brain is sleep deprived, it doesn’t have the energy to encode actions into memory like it normally. This is completely normal and happens all the time to people who are sleep deprived. However, dissociation (even without a switch) can also cause that weird “hazy” feeling. Because dissociation (without switches) normally causes a person to feel disconnected from themselves and from reality, it can cause processing of those memories to be a little wonky at times. In this state, you can still remember vaguely what happened, but may not recognize it as your own.

Also, you don’t have to worry about the length of your asks, Fox c: If you need more space to write then write your heart away. I’ll still give the same attention to your asks, regardless of length.

Stay safe xx

-Clover

#osdd protector #osdd positivity #did osdd #actually osdd #osdd problems #osdd alter #osdd community #osdd support #osdd system #osdd #dissociative system #dissociative alters #other specified dissociative disorder

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