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a-not-so-sure-artist · 1 year ago

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Was looking back at my old Twinsomnia fan art and decided to bring back some characters, aka make them somewhat relevant to whatever story my other OCs for this mod have!

Meet Joyce! She and Nicole have been friends since elementary days, and they along with others are the 4th/5th most popular kids in their school.

Joyce doesn’t know of Nicoles little crush yet, and tbh neither does Nicole at the moment. She does end up discovering her identity/feelings as time goes by, confesses to Joyce and they soon become a couple! (and even marry in the future <3)

Joyce doesn’t really try or even care about popularity. She’s simply well known because of how “perfect” the kids at school see her as, her family being loaded and her being a graceful Ballet dancer and all. It’s rather Nicole who’s crazy about climbing the middle-school social ladder xD

And here we have the baby himself who gets too much screentime, Lucas! He’s the textbook definition of “The Neighbor’s Kid” and unfortunately happens to live in the same area as Nicole and Leon.

Lucas…is not the most well behaved. Sure he can be calm and tolerable some days, but that’s only when he has a bottle of milk and his concerningly sentient ipad in hand. If he doesn’t have any of those, tantrums ensue and he attempts to destroy anything in his path until he gets what he wants.

Poor homie’s entire sleep pattern is ruined, and it’s mostly due to that scary ah ipad that hypnotizes him with YouTube kids brainrot. If only there were like two or more magical babysitters who could possibly help this child with his sleepless nights <:0 <:0

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dykedvonte · 3 months ago

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Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like

-💀

It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.

If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.

Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.

He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...

#this is less headcanons and more my thoughts of the intersectional horror this brings to mouthwashing which is also a thing it #already has but more directly in the mix vs just the class gender and positional struggle. like the idea he waited to confront Jimmy becaus #he could conceptualize the crime better because of experience with womanhood and also how it would've destroyed him in terms of being trans #like its weird to word as a comparison but thats kinda how empathy works as in an understanding and ability to project through aspects #like you found out your friend who has always had weird feelings about and relating to you is a rapist and got one of your other friend #pregnant and is now being openly hostile and aggressive towards you. You have only a few days to really think on all of this all the years #with him and how many oppurtunites he had that you blame yourself for giving him both in life and to do to you. You are starting to #realize that he may have done what he did to Anya because it was no longer viable with him or because of weird transphobia/homophobia #from Jimmy and god its so much and he should've know better and what did Jimmy do then - c r a s h #he is at such a small amount of mercy to Jimmy now and he can't protect Anya and it's terrifying because i know and you know that Jimmy is #giving him those weird looks again...#like it adds another layer of horror to things and while I don't think Jimmy would do anything to Curly it's heavily implied he targeted he #because of relatively more important position and getting Curly to have doubts about him as a power play and Curly knows Jimmy well enough #that him immediately exerting his authority and power would set him off after already having been mad about it and even when doing #damage control it still set him off. like its the horror of accidenlty siding with your oppresser and hurting other like you only to then b #stabbed in the back again by the person who took advantage of your nature like its so complext but my actual trans curly headcanons #are just a little bit happier like i imagine he was the first on the boys soccer team and a star player. maybe he and jimmy even picked ou #his first offical “boy” clothes and Jimmy picked most so he looked like the grungiest white boy but she was a boy so it didn't matter cause #it was with his friend who accepted him and I bet on the bed he looks back at all those moments and notices the little details that his #friend wasnt actually so happy but he can't be certain when he started looking so bitter or hes just imagining out of paranoia cause he jus #cant know and even if he could he wouldn't want to ask like god thinking about Anya and probably being a little glad if not heartbroken #that she did get out of it in the end like trans curly and anya destroy me even more its so upsetting like he didn't realize how much he go #you girl and waited to act like it was cowardice but then would she not realize what hes realizing? should that be a grace or more of a #condemnation in her mind like what are her thoughts? espically during the scene Jimmy hits Curly like she had to hear and what did she thin #they are tormented in a similar hells with the same demon and its fascinating #mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #anya mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing

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lattuce · 4 months ago

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shoutout to media with only one female character that’s just a vessel for a sexual assault and/or pregnancy plot line with very little or no characterization beyond that

#inspired by #mouthwashing #there’s other media this relates to #I’m just thinking a lot about this game right now #idk I love the game and its art direction and the story is still amazing #it just sucks that anya wasn’t as developed as the other characters #and felt like more of a tool to make jimmy more of an unsympathetic asshole #almost everything about her revolved around jimmy #I guess you could make an argument that since jimmy is an unreliable narrator that anya’s lack of character is how he views her #she’s nothing to him #but even the sections playing as curly she falls kinda flat and still involves jimmy #idk maybe I’m being too critical #I’m just kinda tired of plot lines like these #where women are reduced down to their trauma and that’s all they are #not saying they shouldn’t exist!! they are still valid stories #I just wish they had more tact #I understand though that this is an indie title with only so much time and resources to put into such a big project #and I understand that more time was probably put into the art direction and gameplay and coding than just some extra lines of dialogue

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radioroxx · 5 months ago

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hmmmm mal du pays thoughts tonight

#radio rambles #i should go to bed but. it is on the mind #isat spoilers #<- for the . wall of tags to come #imm wondering what most people hc mdp to like. be #i know its most popular to see it as siffrins sadness. i do think thats p neat #and probably the intention #but im. juggling around the idea of? siffrin system moment? mdp as a headmate? if yall see that vision?#most inspired by that ‘do u hc this character as a system’ post abt siffrin #and i voted no then but now im like genuinely changing my mind JFKFKF #it makes sense in a way. and into my mdp hc that it. wouldve split while sif was very young #splitting due to stress which leads to a lot of. gestures vaguely. mdp’s whole thing #a mix of stress but also this sense of longing to. belong somewhere. to not be alone #many years ago it was about the loss of their home. and much later on became more related to its feelings towards their family #mdp is a scared child to me . idk about yalls hcs for it but thats what im sticking to #a scared child who maybe grew up a little alongside the body. but still Young and Scared #its not as often or eager to front as siffrin is. i can imagine it being much more hover-y or . POSSIBLY. cohosting if its feeling up to it #uhm. ok well #so i typed this out and now im actually really sad about mdp jgkdkf where is mdp recovery #now im kinda thinking about it fronting for once to properly meet the party and. and receiving comfort. and and and #wow christ im upset #also also glancing over at marias sibling au for character dynamics here….. sillies…..#ps not relevant to my mdp thoughts but fyi im imagining siffin in headspace looks very much like their body #the difference being. much darker clothes. more stars etc. maybe different hair #think like how a lot of ppl style their human loops. thats kinda how i imagine sif in headspace #SPEAKING OF LOOP #i think given the time he spent with them it woulf make sense if they split a loop as well #and ofc other members of the party jgkfkf #im not gonna get into my hcs there because ill b taking away from my mdp hc post BUT #thinking. always thinking

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greasydumbfuck · 6 months ago

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thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)

#marvel #frank castle #the punisher #not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense #hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like #so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw #where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway #like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL #but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn #theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it #hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much #like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit #is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now #so many fun ways to interpret this #<guy who is not having fun interpreting this #wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough #god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only #i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling

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ganondoodle · 2 years ago

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botw got me into watching every zelda theory on the planet and totk got me out of it :I

i will focus on my comic and the rewrite project, rant here an there or answer some questions but im pretty sure im not gonna watch/read anything zelda theory related for a good while

#ganondoodles talks #totk just makes me feel hollow #but it will keep coming up in everything zelda related now and in the future #like maybe theres some people critical of it #i doubt its the popular guys tho #and its probably not gonna be about the story anyway since even in old theories they were always pretty -save-#but it was kinda fun seeing all the ways to connect things and think about what it could mean #totk ruined that for me tbh #wheres the mystery #it let me down so many times i just cant stay interested in anything #and i dont got the will to clikc on a video and realize halfway through i wasted my time #hope you dont mind me staying in my lil bubble and doing my thing xD

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sysig · 9 months ago

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Getting closer, getting really close now I swear (Patreon)

#Doodles #Just Desserts #Villainsona #True Villainy AU #Just ignore how many times I've said that up to this point lol - I'm serious this time!#I always feel so bad designing TVAU outfits because Charm is always so miserable as a model haha #Could this be a contributing factor as to why it's taken so long?? No I enjoy drawing her like that lol #Made some design notes about the important elements of what I want for her True Villain look - more than just ''Her but Kaiein influence''#I'd still really like a nod to dragon scales of some kind but honestly her classic design is more that #Always going on about her spider theming how to make it dragony! It's the one thing I'm still hung up on lol #As for the rest I think it's Really getting close :) I got to actually turn her little ''shawl'' - I always knew it was Kaiein-related -#Into something that properly mimics his shape! It's all controlled by her tho it's not a part of his body - just magic-infused matter #Made to look like him so there's still that creep factor but it's more her body than his - she can control its shape :D #And I got to keep the jewels! Yesss - made it a motif! Now it's also on her hips and knees to break up her visual space yes very good #It's drips :) Y'know - like ink :) Finally figured that one out lol good job setting up my own symbolism me #And then some elegant drapey bits to match her ''shawl'' and continue to break up her space!! Yes! Good!!#I still haven't decided on a colour palette I think black and white is too obvious and too Kaiein but hmmm - she has a lot of colours #Lots of options to pick from but which is the Correct one - her hair would stay pink so maybe some of her pinks or purples #I'll play with some digital swatches later :)#I'm also so glad I could implement the hood design from one of the scrapped outfits ah <3 I love her in a hood she's so cute #I'm rather pleased with the way the spider web design breaks up her form as well - it's more subdued than the full bottom/shoes stripes but #It's also not very clear here lol the long ones that all the way down to her feet are the third from the center ignore that second one #The second lines out from the center host her wings! Very important!#Kinda reminds me of my holosona in a way actually :0 They /are/ both Evil-aligned hmmmm #All the more reason to colour palette! Differentiate the colours in my head #Really do feel like I'm approaching it now fdjsklafd getting close now!!

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bunnyboy-juice · 4 months ago

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GRAAAAAAAH MISREPRESENTING DATA DOES NOTHING FOR ANYONE EXCEPT FEED TROLLS WHO ARE TRYIGN TO TAKE OYU IN BAD FAITH ANYWAY OH MY GD

#mild vent #jsut kinda tired of checking sources and seeing time and time again people misrepresent data thats Easily checkable to support their points #u dont need to make up statistics you are literally making things worse for everyone bc now the arguments will be over what the stats REALL #are instead of the core issue u were talking about [insert upsidedown smiley here]#its like across topics too. ive seen so many bold claims linked to sources that when i check them there is 0 mention of that in the documen #or any of the (linked) supporting materials if its an article #this also isnt just about one post or one person or one rb ive been on this for MONTHS at home #i thnk my wife may be sick of me coming up to her and going over and over “this data isnt real” oh mygd #just. if you see something with a crazy stat and there's a source link maybe check it before rebloggin git #honestly even if its not stats related cause the number of times i see ppl rbing posts where OP absolutely would Not agree with them ro wou #be outright violent/aggressive/bigoted/etc abt topics they supposedly ccare abt. . . . . . ..#anyway for that one tho reminder to block the tags of hate groups! yes you will soemtimes miss a post but more importantly u will learn the #dogwhistles sO fucking fast.#anyway. idc if this makes sense its a tag vent and no one can rb anyway and discourse with ur momma if u think im mean for this ig

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daisybell-on-a-carousel · 4 months ago

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Thought about making a ghost town au jason design but kinda bluescreened when I realized he wouldn't be a doll tbh

#ghost town is a story if mine ^v^! its mostly just design fun #and yeah ghost doll isn't a fit for jason. well maybe it could depend on time when/how he died #but both of his proper deaths ive seen he wouldn't make a doll ghost. maybe a broken or cracked doll #he gets close. so i can see it happening for him depending #doll ghostss are people who often hide their own feelings and will try to make themselves better or more appealing for others #often at the harm and loss of themselves #theres also an element of being something to display to it #so like. all of my doll aus #thinking about his batarang death. DEFINITELY a ghost thatd have their injury clear #cant tell if i want him actually drenched in blood or like. stylized blood. like that pearl necklace #kinda want him in a suit of armor tbh. for funsies. im varying between that or just his normal self #well actually i fully believe a post utrh death jason would look like his child self. but shhh we're exploring other avenues right now #i cant WAIT to finish my jason todd design so i can start dressing him up hehe #unfortunately figuring out just like. normal designs. is harder for me than au outfits so its taking me a bit -~-#and/or doll ghosts can be from incredibly passive people bc that is like attached to my previous explanations. squares and rectangles tho #not related to jason

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the-pea-and-the-sun · 5 months ago

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i look for irl friends everywhere but its always. my fucking coworkers. like inevitably the place im gonna find my best friends isnt gonna be through school or hobbies its the other ppl who are also working alongside me for just above minimum wage.

#idk if its the minimum wage thing or the job field im in. maybe something about a kitchen job just attracts the coolest ppl ever #either way kind of hate that development of my social life is always dependent on like. having to work for money #but it kinda selects for ppl i can get along w ig. like dawg i just cannot be friends w rich ppl #never could relate to like. the stereotype of highschool rich bullies who make fun of u for being weird an poor cuz like #most ppl at my highschool were also pretty poor but. kind of feel like im encountering that in my adult life #like either theyre stuck up an dont wanna interact w me at all #or im like. trying to connect w someone who thinks its normal that both their parents own a tesla #having friends who are like. poor or who were also in foster care is kind of more important to me #than having other friends who are queer i realized #like. i just have more in common w someone raised by their grandparents who isnt that familiar w queer culture #than i do w someone immersed in the culture whos parents make 100k #but i mean now i sorta have both im no longer the only queer in the kitchen #my boss is like the most badass dykiest dyke ive ever seen #i mean im gonna keep trying to find non-worker friends though. my boss told me i should go to a gay bar skfhjgsdj

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mira0000000-blog · 1 year ago

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not sure yet and not very sonic but im thinking about itflo

#still not sure about her design aaa its mostly cos sonic universe doesnt have giant otters #i know archie had an otter at some point but i looked at it and was like nah i want big TEETH #im also not sure cos what she is now doesnt really look like sonicesque enuf #i always end up making her eyes too smol for sonic world #i was listening to “Os Tincoãs” and was like my oc i remember her and then i started mindlessly doodling #and although making her be a capoeira practitioner was in my mind already i never drew anything capoeira related before #so i picked a video on youtube and made a little last second “study” with her weird proportions #turned out trash but im happy i tried #i want her to be kinda like vector cos u know giant otter #and they also have their bodies connected to the tail like crocs #also yeah she is a girl i just didnt want to giver a shirt cos then it would hide the markings they have on the neck #that like makes their family differentiate one from the other and i was like awn im not hiding dat #but maybe if i find another way to make her shapes she can have a shirt on #I have a name idea im almost sure its gonna be her final name but wanna think more #if nothin changes her name will be Floreio :3 #wanted to do more but my back hurts and ima sleepy its past midnight again yeyy #wee my art i gues #floreio ariranha

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salsflore · 2 years ago

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going to sleep soon ～ let me get some things off my chest here.... my eyes are super itchy again (fell into the trap of snuggling my cat even when i swore i wouldn't do it again)

#cw vent #this is bc i have a math exam tmrw I’M SORRYYY i feel some kind of way about that #this is the first exam where i am near confident i will fail. and its just kinda sucky #my mental maths is really poor and due to the fact i skipped grades (unable to afford Education) i don’t know a lot of things my peers know #my results as they are right now? theyre genuinely ok. not bad. but theres still gaps made by the years of missing out on school #this is one of them #its so embarrassing having my classmate look at me weirdly when i ask her about something that should totally be obvious or #something silly like that. i don’t know. its especially hard for me to be interested in maths because my old maths teacher has #literally fucked me up i’m so intimidated by every math teacher ever and i just hate the feeling of being stupid or whatever #i don’t enjoy being comforted by A+ students bc theyre like cmonn its totally fine!! i relate i got a 39/40 :(#or my friends who make jokes about how stupid i am and its just aghhh #its already been almost a year since ive enrolled in school again but i still feel so out of place #so miserable i could just die #so miserable i think i SHOULD die #and i'm just nervous about getting an absolute 0. failing my first test made me want to literally kill myself #sorry for being dramatic but when you have a sister whos awards and certificates fill your house shelf its kind of like........#aghhhh!!!! maybe i should just accept that i'm good for nothing at all!!!!!!#not that great with numbers or formulas. probably not that great at writing either. nor am i as eloquent as i'd like to be ～#not artistically inclined. science is a bore. not ~ naturally ~ adept with neither languages nor history! psychology! economics! sports!#forgive me for not being able to do anything good at all ... zzz

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fregget-frou · 2 years ago

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Minor vent today was just really bad :p

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Ok I don’t know if this is dumb to ask but is it embarrassing to need to go home because of period cramps?? I think I made a big deal but I mean I did pass out but also I’ve heard people do deal with it??? I’m pissing off my parents because I’ve been sick so often and having to make them leave work because of it. It hurt alot but like. Idk.! I’m not even sure if I should’ve even gone home????? I just oh my god I feel really dumb and weak for some reason but also I get it because I passed out from the pain and this just does not happen but also I was told to ask my doctor which I know he’ll just say it’s my weight but. I don’t fucking know. I feel like I’m gaslighting myself and having a meltdown over a scratch but it’s not a scratch to me but aLSO I know that even if it wasn’t I should react and cause problems I’m being a burden. I mean they said it themselves I’m disrupting their work more often and I don’t want to do that but the last time I tried to tough it out I had to go to the ER which made an even bigger disruption and I just don’t wanna do that again.

#kinda wish the school nurse had pain killers but we don’t have them #I did yknow throw up but but #I could be overreacting #I know that’s what my doctor will say!! fucking hate that because I know he only has 2 responses to me it’s either because I’m fat or it’s #it’s just normal #I am AWARE that I’m fat #you don’t have to say everything is wrong about me and that I should suffer through things because of it man #I think he thinks I don’t know #which is incredibly annoying because hey man!! you’ve been telling me I’m fat since I was SIXXX #YOU DONT NEED TO FUCKING REPEAT IT AND BRING IY UPP #I KNKW #I KNOW #I FUCKING KNOW #MAYBE #JUST MAYBE IM GOING TO YOU FOR ACTUAL MEDICAL HELP #THAT IS RELATED TO MY #ILLNESS THAT HAS BEEN CONTINUOUSLY ATTACKING ME #I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME #BUT I SURE AS HELL KNOW ITS NOT JUST BECAUSE IM FAT #it’s so hard to not relapse right now #ohhh the ed that’s just asking to come back and kill me is waiting for this #I can feel my mental health deteriorating every day!!!#I AM FULLY CONSCIOUS MY MIND AND BODY ROTTING AROUND ME #I AM IN HELL.

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lecliss · 5 days ago

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I barely kept up with the info about the ToGf remaster aside from the fact that it was happening so I only just now saw it came out like two weeks ago (buy it buy it buy it now you must) and I'm looking at the screenshots on the ps store page and like. Idk, maybe my memory is shit even tho I literally replayed the game just last year but like. It doesn't look different. The models don't look different or improved at all. Like what the fuck was changed??? What was enhanced? What was remastered???? And it's already a good looking game for what it is so I'm not saying it looks bad. I just. Can't see a difference. Incredibly based of bamco to only make it 40 dollars tho. They coulda said fuck you and made it 70 like all games nowadays.

#with this as evidence i fully believe a ToX remaster wont look any different at all. which is fine by me cuz the game is still gorgeous!#but aside from the graphics i actually genuinely dont know whats supposed to be remastered about the game #i mean i know obviously all the dlc for free. but was any combat stuff changed? i feel like i briefly read something about that but idr #ohhhhh yeah im reading now that it says QoL stuff like encounters off and autosave and skipping #which like. what do you cutscene skipping? cuz you could already do that #wait no. i dont think you can skip the base cutscene where you press A and theres no motion capture #.......noooo i doubt that. i swear you can do that in the og game #no well the description just says skip function. maybe its not something cutscene related #ANYWAY! IT LOOKS THE SAME. IT WAS ALREADY A GOOD LOOKING GAME. i just wanted to say that and that its kinda funny to me #next up! ToX remaster where nothing is changed! its already a perfect game! nothing needs to be enhanced!#please bamco please. please. bamco? bamco??? BAMCOOOOO!!!!!#personal

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secondpersonpoetry · 22 days ago

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HI!!!!! whilst eating dinner i watched the “once an otter always an otter” number retirement video on youtube and thought “ooh. cool. let me see what people are saying”. opened tumblr. saw your most recent reblog, pressed play. saw DYLAN STROME say the word “davo” and immediately had to pause it lol. put my fork down to boot. like…..flabbergasted. genuinely. man oh man. my goodness. unpaused. the past tense “it was (WAS!!!!) an honor to be your friend” (😧) and the “and hopefully we can make some more [memories] in the future” and the fade to black. SHUT UPPPPPPPPP. OH MY GOD…………….i don’t have anything of substance to add just im sick!!! im sickened!!!!!! it’s never overrrrrrrrrr. absolutely unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! frank ocean ivy trust and believe you WILL be looped for the foreseeable future……..they’ll never be those kids again!!!!! and the game’s in a week and a half!!!!!!! gahhhhhhh. nuts crazy bonkers etc etc. going to have an absolutely exceedingly normal one about it for sure!!!!!! hope you have a good one!!!!!!!

also! just for future reference: do you prefer asks of this nature sent to this blog or your hockey one? thank you!!

"Centaur over Tomer Butte" [amended, abridged], Robert Wrigley

you know. i don't think i actually ever registered dylan saying "davo". i think my ears just decided i didn't need to hear that, for the good of my brain to continue functioning. who up having their present haunted by the ghosts of the past who are less like ghosts and more like someone you keep forgetting walked out of the next room but also aren't quite sure if they came back and you've only just worked up the courage to call out to them. schrödinger's best friend who might or might not be there in your future to make more memories with. but at least this time you opened the door and left it cracked for him to crawl back through.

#me when i. when i. like i was looking for a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT POEM to reply because that is unfortunately the arbitrary mechanism #brain decided to employ here and then this one was like NO ACTUALLY i am invading your brainwaves. i wanted to find all my dylan/zach you #you say his name just to keep him for a while longer in your mouth bring more of him into the world poems wherever they went because.#as mentioned. number one actually i will also say i didn't have the sound on for the first few seconds of the video because human error #of needing to hit unmute BUT my brain :) was protecting me :) from having to think about stromer :) davo-ing him :) and i am LOSING IT #idk. idk. poem felt relevant because we were talking about stars & i have very long had a note about connor & orbits even if it's re: leon #and alsO i keep looking at ash's post about a wobbler and his devoted valet because i'm in love with it and it IS them and so i also #immediately went OH MY GOD but that was second the first part was me going “ME BREATHING DOWN HIS NECK FOR A WHILE IN A FURTHER FOREVER”#DYLAN YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE DYLAN SOME ODD NUMBER OF YEARS OUT STILL TALKING ABOUT CONNOR LONG AFTER YOU'D THINK HE COULD STOP & FORGET and #we were talking about ghosts with bleachers and thinking about like. don't assume ghosts were birthed by other ghosts maybe nothing went #wrong!! the it was an honor to be your friend!! cody's post that was like we all want to know what happened in their friendship and it #sounds like maybe dylan wants to know too! y'all i can't BE HERE there's something percolating and i don't know what it is. smth smth #orion the hunter leon is a scorpio but ALSO i need everyone to understand how complex this square is like i don't hate leon and i need him #to be okay if we have mcstrome & viceversa. anyway i meant the distance between stars forever? OH ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION ME READING TOMER #LAUGHING LIKE HAHA STROMER right there and then editing the poem so it said stromer & all of you could suffer with me. in a further forever #do u think they promised each other forever when they were kids. do u? do u think the arrow drawn at the heart was one dylan always knew #connor would have to fire? shout out to the verse before that said what lives on that map (charted lightning strikes) never sees the light #& it [s]t[r]omer was significant once before a lava from the west filled its valley in. caved its <3. connor breaking dylan's <3 -> ghost #liv in the replies #anyway made myself more unhinged with the schrödinger's best friend and them missing each other thinking about like. dylan wasn't there fr.#something something time loops and alternate universes i KNOW it's kinda terrible but this is how you lose the time war-esque element #(bc i also just finished reading welcome to forever) of them never seeing each other for real right like. always just an observation. does #he care or does he not. a video of dylan a tweet from connor a text a missed invitation an instagram story the levels of separation and by #god YES i will willfully misinterpret schrödinger & also smtms quantum physics what else do u have a niche interest for. planetary bodies b #ALSO! idrc but yes pls if hrpf related (all side blogs we die like men) send asks over there & maybe i will be more tag story organized #(also while this blog LOOKS more active bc i have a queue for months i am actually more active on the hockey blog lmao) & bc also i want to #share your asks with everyone there. duh. also if i did not tell u already BESTIE THE DMS IF YOU WANT!!! i love receiving asks. u were #already immediately my friend when u sent me one & like. now i would die for u we're having conversations. but if u want a poem send here #p.s. everyone tells me i'd love frank ocean lmao but i haven't listened to him yet for literally no reason. maybe this is the stars alignin

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oflgtfol · 10 months ago

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the office environment wasnt hostile or anything its just physically it wasnt very entirely comfortable. it was in the basement of a newly constructed building so the walls were like sterile white and there was no homeliness to it and then because it was the basement it was lacking in both A. sunlight and B. ambient noise, because it was so infrequently trafficked it was just so damn quiet. it was just a strange environment i guess and so because it was such a specific niche environment i cant help but associate it with that specific mental health period of my life and so im so afraid that like idk just the like. the weird white sterile lighting will just trigger my brain to be like oh its suicide time. UGH

#head in my hands #i;m like oh im so normal right now i feel like doing therapy appointments are kinda a waste of time and money #even though i know i shouldnt stop if for no other reason than just making sure im ohlding myself accountable #by needing to report to my therapist every month about how things are going #but then i think about this upcoming fall and im like oh. lol. im definitely anticipating being Mentally Ill again #definitely do not slack on the therapy. and the medication.#ok but yknow what !!! this will be my first time doing anything related to school or my internship stuff while medicated !!#its not just me raw dogging life anymore now i have the power of zoloft and therapy on my side #maybe things wont be so bad #HEAD I NMY HANDS !!!#brot posts #delete soon

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