#its just. ugh.
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Me: Okay this is a genuine thing that I did wrong at work and do in my personal life and the person that brought this up let me know that she still loves working with me and thinks I'm doing amazing
RSD: she hates you. You're the worst
Me: I just want to improve!!! Let me grow as person without feeling physical pain!!!!
RSD: No!!!!! Go away and bury yourself from the world you shouldn't be perceived anymore
Me: . . .
#sascha says shit#adhd rsd#rejection sensitive dysphoria#i want to clarify the critque i was given is not a bad thing!!!!!!! its a thing i need to work on and i thanked the person for telling me!!!#its just. ugh.#ugggggh#its painful and i hate it
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It is imperative to me that Bill and Stan do torrid Duchess Approves roleplay and argue about character motivations
#Stanley has a canon self insert now! Everyone say thank you to FluffleCat for sharing their amazing cosplay contest prize#I need to draw something based on that audio frfr its so good#Stan: Its about the power reversal Ball!! Pinesworth out scoundrels him! Ogle's met his match and thats what draws 'em together#Bill: ugh fineeee#originally i was planning to do something with Stan roleplaying the coachman but this? This'll be funnier#Part of a longer comic! Not sure if I'll keep this style. Just wanted go try it out for a panel or two#gravity falls#Fan art#bill cipher#Stanley pines#Comic#Gravity falls comic#GF fanart#Fanart#Post canon#Grunkle stan#Stan pines#the duchess approves#Should i tag this TDA Oglebottom x Stanlarius Pinesworth or#billstan#Artists on tumblr#my art#BillStan Fanfiction Buddies AU
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omfg ik how im always like “oh i love this era of gee” okay but. 2013-2015 (or 16 idk) gerard hits so much different idk how to explain… its funny bc he gives off early sunset vibes, like ur sitting in ur house drinking smthn hot while just enjoying eachothers company while the sun is starting to set 😭😭😭 im thinking too much into this but r we picking up what im putting down
#my collection 😈😈#ugh collecting gerard eras like pokemon#this era is just so…its so conflicting#one of the best bands just broke up but gerard is looking so cutie patootie#hopefully my future bf is like this !!! boyfriend moodboard !!! /HJ#absolutely tweaking HES SO BEAUTIFUL KMS#the other era i rlly like sm is his 2019 era like jesus christ hes so pretty#selfryed speaks#gerard way#my chemical romance#my chem romance#my chemical fucking romance#my chemical gerard#my chem gerard#hesitant alien era#hesitant alien#hesitant gerard#mcr#mcrmy#my chem#mcr5#2013 gerard
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
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personal happiness or what the fuck ever
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#jeans here too but ssh#snap sketches#i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i#so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic#i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now#which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again#LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me#maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw#anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone#i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE
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WK Elemental AU
(because I don't have enough AUs already...) Let me introduce you to something thats been rolling around in my brain for a little while now... The Elemental AU!
Heavily inspired by Avatar the Last Airbender, the elemental AU takes place in a universe where some people are born with the ability to control a specific element. The main difference is instead of the 4 western elements of Earth, Fire, Water, and Air- it's the 5 Chinese elements of Earth, Fire, Water, Wood, and Metal. (Just bc it fit the crew better! and gives me some more room to world-build)
The basic plot remains close to Wild Kratts canon. They travel the world, saving animals from the villains (Who are also elementals!) except instead of relying on technology, or their creature powers, they use their elemental gifts.
I am planning on writing about this soon since Decoded is coming to an end in only a few weeks. But I figured I would go ahead and introduce it now since I've finished all of their refs!
#Wk Elemental AU#Elemental AU#Wild kratts#wild kratts fanart#wild kratts aviva#chris kratt#martin kratt#wild kratts au#littlecrittereli#jimmy z#wild kratts koki#kratt brothers#aviva corcovado#i know super power aus are not a new concept#but i just thought this would be really interesting to explore!!!#i love when superpowers ugh#more context soon#i honestly have so much world building but i dont want to dump it all in one post to the point where its just me yapping LOL#that can come in the fanfiction
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One wedding and three funerals
Background paintings under the cut
#tomgreg#succession#tom wambsgans#greg hirsch#shiv roy#roman roy#kendall roy#yeah no im not tagging everyone thats too much#this is me going 'how much implications themes and symbolism can i fit in one painting'#yes i gave rose shivs haircolor. if we ever find out how she looks like and its not like this im just gonna pass away i guess#but yeah i hope yall connect the dots#i put waaay too much thought and work into this. i was googling pictures of all the actors as kids just for reference (sigh)#honestly kinda wanted to make tom and greg link pinkies as like. a pinkie promise. but that was too hard to draw in this angle#at least not without obstructing the view of the ring which is important to see so ya#my fave is actually the tomshiv wedding pic i went off with that. i love them... they should have run away to become sheep farmers fr fr#anyway im so glad im done with this UGH!! finally i can draw smth else without being like oh noooo i need to finish this#i see a lot of you wondering why there is no portrait of logan but one of ewan#it's bc the placement of the painting represent their standing. logans portray would not hang next to the stairs#his present portrait hangs at the end of it. all the way up at the top. alone and withering away#basically the picture you see underneath ewan to the right? its where toms parents would be. the right side of the wall is tom and gregs#and the left one is the roy siblings theirs. since they grew up rich rich. and tom and greg didn't#but ya thats why ewan hangs here and logan does not :)
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this ship isnt boring/bad, you guys don't get them like i do, i fear. if peter was a god, then wade would be his greatest disciple. if wade was an artist, then peter would be his muse. / Mario Puzo, The Godfather // it chooses you, miranda july // marcel proust // Terrance Hayes, The Same City // Eliza Crewe, Crushed // judas-redeemed // Mitski, I'm your man // u.k // Mitski, I'm your man // Richard Siken // Charlotte Eriksson Everything Changed When I Forgave Myself // u.k. // Noah Kahan You're Gonna Go Far // marilynne robinson, gilead
#wade wilson#marvel comics#deadpool#spiderman#mcu#peter parker#spideypool#spiderman x deadpool#spider-man#for reach#lemme rant because this ship would be so much better if people took it serious#like so many people don't get it or think its boring/not good because of how we portray it#so many poeple are saying x ship is better... no... this ship is so interesting. i fear you just don't get it#they invented i can fix him#UGH#i will not stand for spideypool slander#spideypool and cablepool my beloveds#web weaving#poetry#parallelism#web weave
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I love Little and Tozers dog motif as much as the next person but i think Hickey’s fox and Goodsir’s sheep energy deserve more love!!
#i am the queen of doing too much (rendering) <3#its not just their vibe/motif its their whole look#tell me hickey doesnt look like a sly little fox and goodsir doesnt look like a fluffy sheep with that strong nose of his#ugh i love them#nothing compares to ned and tozer but i do love them a lot#the terror#the terror amc#harry goodsir#cornelius hickey#froggerart
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doodles (as i avoid work) of the super awesome you wouldn't like me alive fic by @ectoplasmranch which i binge read in a 7 hour sitting yesterday
#🧻 sharts#danny phantom#danny fenton#dash baxter#i aint tagging everyone else. jazz was the most fun to doodle though#figuring out their faces was . hm. it was a moment. i hope i made jazz and danny look related enough HAHA probably not. i wanted jazz and#him to have the same eyes its just jazz still looks like a normal girl and danny looks like he's lost all zest and life for the world#like shit man if someone looked at me like that in the highschool hallway id be scared too i dont blame you dash#UGH DASH IS LIKE A GOLDEN RETRIEVER TO DRAW FOR THIS FIC. i love it so much. i love me a shitty guy turned nice#elderich horror danny is cool. im tag rambling now. my bad#this fic has a bit of a death grip on me. i need to be normal and go to bed#ALSO I CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DRAW TUCKER IM SO SORRY. HIS HAT. IT PAINS ME#anyway uhhh if u like danny phantom read dis fic? pretty please? for me? its at 127k words atm so. if youve got a day to spare#(dont be like i me i fucked up my eyes binge reading it LMFAO. be smarter)#guess ill die (danphantom)
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ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 1x05 - "Everybody Wants to Be My Enemy" ↳ "So what'll it be, man or woman?"
#another 4k test#looks okay i just cant have too long clips if im doing 500 x 750 stuff#arcane#arcaneedit#caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#arcane caitlyn#arcane league of legends#netflixedit#animationedit#media: arcane#type: gif#s1 ep5#i was gonna make more but its 4am and im tired#i might have to change software bc my scene splitters are lagging from the upscaled 4k video ugh
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Finally, my design for Mysterion!! this boy gave me so much heartache in the process of making this but its ok its all worth it for him <3
I also couldn't choose between the version with hair or without hair, so here's the one without under the cut (+ my initial drafts for his design):
#south park#south park fanart#south park the fractured but whole#tfbw#south park tfbw#mysterion#kenny mccormick#shroomer's archives: south park#shroomer's art !#time for me to yap about my design process in the tags again#so yea. MYSTERION!!! just another different flavor of kenny#are you sick of seeing me draw him yet#anyways. i made the poncho follow the shape of an M to recreate the M on his original design on his chest#but i also have green lines on his undershirt that travel up his arms and onto his chest to recreate the shape of an M#if the hood were to ever be ripped off#gave him the sort of police utility belts because he was close to the police in his first episode#and also just because theyre cool lol#ALSO I STOLE THE SPRAY PAINTED QUESTION MARK ON HIS HOOD i really like how it looks i think it was vicchaosz here on tumblr who inspired me#made the poncho ragged because. yknow. he dies a lot. that thing is not gonna walk away in tip top shape.#kept most of the colors the same with only a few changes like his boots and his underpants (which i changed to shorts)#OH AND MY FAVORITE HAPPY ACCIDENT!!! the underside of his hood was too dark in contrast to his shorts so i added some lilac to lighten it u#and it ended up looking like when mysterion goes into his ghost form in the game AND ITS JUST. UGH. SUCH A COOL HAPPY ACCIDENT.#so yea: not only did it help with the contrast its also THEMATIC!!#i swear he's not shorter in the lineup hes just slouching#i love this feral ass pose i put him in#ok i think thats it if you read this far ily and i smooch you#mwah#i hope this post does well lol i put so much effort into this
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the duality of seonghwa is absolutely bonkers like??? tf you mean this man
is the same as this man
like UGGHHHHH SEONGHWA THE MAN THAT YOU AAAAREEEEEE 🛐🛐🛐🛐
#pls sir give me some of ur gender its what i crave 🤲🤲#i beg 😣😣#ateez#seonghwa#park seonghwa#hwa#🛐🛐🛐#ive been in love with his insane duality since day one like ugh#i love him sm#just watching him be a crazy beautiful demon on stage to geeking out about animal crossing not even hours after a show#i love himmm
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Something something Merlin is Arthur's bane.
#i just love the idea that merlin literally fabricates the Excalibur thing to show that arthur is the chosen one. that he will unite the#land and rule albion. but it is literally. actually. all an illusion bc merlin has already damned arthur thru his actions... or rather#his inactions. becoming Arthur's bane. i wish that was the actual premis of the show in an intentional way. young merlin tries to live in a#way that's moral despite what is Known in the future. he actions are motivated by love to protect arthur but with each action we#close in around arthurs death. i wish that wasnt something thr show just stumbled into thru poor writing? early cancelation?#i dunno. we can argue all day abt the prophesy and whether or not its real or something merlin should live by#but i love the idea that it is real and true and every move merlin makes agaisnt it is a curse upon arthur. by keeping himself clean he#damns his king. delicious. rather than uh oh. uhhhh seems like merlin kinda fucked everything. oops 😬#i dunno. i just love a tragedy#merlin#bbc merlin#arthur pendragon#ugh and if merlin followed the prophecy arthur would b king but merlin would be a shadow of himself#also. did i fuck the rock up yes?#did i fuck up on the rock blood? yes#should i have gone with a rainbow swish for the sword? yes#but here we are. happy Christmas#tw blood
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First two pages of a zaundads comic I'm making, I'll post next parts as I finish them and a whole thing when it's done
God give me strength because this stupid thing was supposed to be 3-4 pages of obscure smut and now it is very much not 🫡
#my art#silco#arcane#vander#zaundads#silco arcane#silco art#vanco#vander arcane#young zaundads#young silco#young vander#zaundads art#ugh silco's eyeliner is doing things to me#vander fumbled so bad#i once again feel that my art style is not good enough#i know it is the way but for fuck sake its so tiring#just shut up and draw and don't think#why can't my brain stop fucking with me 🙄#oh well I'll get through it#save me Silco's stupid long nose save me
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he loves those dumb twins sm, the found family aspect of this show makes me go crazy!!!!!!!
(1st pic is referencing this post lol)
#venture bros#brock samson#hank venture#dean venture#doc venture#bloodtw#so........... i just watched this show for the first time! caught it on yt when it was airing live and. the rest is herstory#it's the camp. its the humor. it's the animation. its the passion the creators have for their own project. its the CHARACTERS!!#sad about them getting cancelled but they stuck around for a LONG time for adult swim and the movie was fun!#UGH THE ANIMATION. this show has my heart for so many reasons idk how ive never watched it before#*edited the swears out cause tumblr is a good Christian app that likes to hide my stuff from the tags
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