#its just weird hearing someone sing about not fitting with the cool kids cause their body isent the right shape when i had to be excused

[7er1ch0]

BACKGROUNDS ARE A LIE CREATED BY THE GOVERNMENT

Also I feel like Levi would mainly cosplay female characters.

I also have a whole study relating to his relationship to his relationship with cosplay but you know what that's a post for another day, I’m tired. 

[holykillercake]

Strawberry and Cigarretes

pairing: Sanji x Reader

word count: 2.6k

highlight: ¨Everything hurt, and for the first time, you wished to forget what the ocean sounded like.¨ 

warnings: slight angst

notes: This was a request from @vemuabhi​! <3 Very special because it was my first ever request! I wanted to doge the obvious path (which I almost took) and do something that didn´t involve Whole Cake Island, so maybe it is not the biggest angst (hats off to Mr. Oda cause he is Father angst) but I did my very best! I hope you all enjoy and Happy Birthday, Sanji-kun! <3

𝕃𝕖𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤, 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕤, 𝕠𝕣 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤!

Do you remember when you were a kid, and you´d find a shell laying on the sand? And you would pick it up and put it on your ear, hoping to listen to the ocean? It´d always make a smile grow on your face before you tossed it aside and jumped into the water.

That time was different. When you heard the ocean share its endless secrets and tell its adventurous stories, you just wanted to sit there all day and listen. 

This specific event happened a couple of months after you joined the Strawhats. Chopper had borrowed you his stethoscope cause you thought it was cool, and in the middle of thousands of things you´ve already heard in your life, good and bad, the heartbeat was something that you were oblivious to. 

Some would think that asking to hear someone else´s heartbeat was weird, but inside the Thousand Sunny... well, those guys put ¨weird¨ on another level, and you would have to work your ass off to surpass that. 

Chopper got all blushed when you leaned closer to his tiny and furry torso, Usopp told you stories about a war he once won but had to have his heart replaced by a lion´s, Franky said that if you wanted to see a heart he could simply pull it out for you, Brook invested on the same ¨Oh, I don´t have a heart. Yohohoho¨ joke, Zoro let you listen to his wrist, Nami and Robin almost had you sinking into their generous breasts, and Sanji... you left him for last because you didn´t know how to ask him. So you just tiptoed quietly inside the kitchen, sneaked behind him, and tried to listen to his heart through his back. You feared that your nose would start bleeding if he faced you while you were doing it. 

That was exactly what he did, by the way. He poured more water into the stew he was cooking and turned around, putting out his cigarette so ashes wouldn´t fall on you. Immediately you began to sweat, your breath quickened, and hold the stethoscope with a steady hand became a herculean task. 

His lean fingers moved to the collar of his blue shirt and started to unbutton a few, enough for you to have better access. At that point, you believed that the reason why you weren´t bleeding yet was that you were slowly having a stroke, and Sanji´s action was God´s gift to you for being a good person while alive. 

Then he didn´t do anything else, just put both hands in his pockets and waited while you listened to every single bubble popping inside his chest like you were afraid to miss one. In the end, he tucked a lock of hair behind your ear and went back to his stew.

But that was all about it. The following months were just like any other, the crew kept acting as weird as their minds allowed, and you kept shutting whatever your stupid heart was yelling at you. Although... if you could be honest for one moment, deep down you were hurt. 

Maybe you scared or crept him away with your childish curiosity. Maybe he had noticed your feelings for him and got disgusted. Well, not disgusted, he probably didn´t like you the same way and didn´t know how to tell you, so keeping words to a minimum was his way to go. 

He stopped singing and twirling around you, he´d rather call your name respectfully; when you shared the night watches, he just remained quiet by your side, answering briefly to your questions or comments; he even stopped trying to sneak into your baths or make suggestive comments - which you didn´t love before, but you know, you only miss something when it's gone. 

The whole crew had noticed the change in both of your behaviors, but they too were not sure how to address it. Whenever someone asked something about it you would say ¨Really? I didn´t notice anything.¨. Either too proud to confront him or too afraid of the truth. 

~

¨Oi, you ok?¨ Zoro asked, breaking into your personal bubble of sadness. 

You knew it was Zoro because you two were taking the night watch, but you didn´t expect him to show interest or concern about your upset state. 

The night was chilly, so you were sitting on Sunny´s grass, arms around your knees, holding them close to your chest to keep the warmth. 

¨Why do you care?¨ you answered bitterly, but he didn´t mind since he was the king of freaking Bitter Land. 

¨I don´t. But I´ll go crazy if I hear you sigh one more time.¨ he sat close to you, not too close, just enough for you to listen to each other.

A chuckle left your mouth involuntarily, you never expected his grouchy temper would come in handy in times like this. Then your frowned expression came back, and you let out another sigh. 

Before you realized Zoro had pushed you with his Sandai Kitetsu scabbard, making you fall to your side with a squeak. 

¨I told you.¨

You sat again, taking some grass off your leg ¨Yeah. Can´t deny it.¨

¨Yeah, you´ve been doing that a lot lately.¨ 

He didn´t look like he was teasing you, his eyes focusing on the line where the sky met the ocean, where the stars disappeared and became blurry white brushes on the water. 

¨I... I don´t-¨

¨I think you can do better than the stupid cook.¨he kept his usual tone ¨ But I guess we don´t get to choose these things.¨ 

You were taken aback by his words, and despite you trying to fight your lips from trembling and tears from falling, it was useless. You had been crushing these feelings inside you for too long, and it killed you the more you ignored it. 

The swordsman wasn´t saying those things because he loved you or anything like that, but because the entire crew - except for Luffy - had already noticed and began acting weird about it. And despite being the captain´s duty to solve any problem or an uncomfortable situation, your captain was a bit too oblivious, so he had to step in. 

Besides, his nakama was getting hurt. He didn´t care about the ero cook. 

¨If you want me to beat him up... just let me know.¨ 

He said it to cheer you up - not that he didn´t mean, he´d do it for much less - but nothing seemed worth smiling for now. You just bit your lip in order to avoid an embarrassing whining, since you were unable to stop the painful tears from rolling down your cheeks. 

Everything hurt, and for the first time, you wished to forget what the ocean sounded like.

¨W-What should I do?¨

¨That´s not my problem to solve, Y/N.¨ he stood up beside you ¨But sometimes, when I have a difficult problem that I can´t solve my way...¨ his gaze still locked with the horizon ¨... I think about what my captain would do.¨ he left without any further words, leaving you not only sad but confused as well. 

You slept on it for the next couple of days, still not understanding what he meant. Maybe he just wanted to leave the conversation and said whatever came to mind. But even that didn´t fit right. If he didn´t want to be stuck in an uncomfortable conversation, he wouldn´t have started one. 

So you took as a personal mission to observe your captain until you learned how to think like him, hoping that figuring that out would solve your problem. 

You had joined the crew as a historian, the person responsible for writing down every adventure meticulously, every tiny detail of every battle, and every glorious victory along the Strawhats journey. So in one dusk, when you were in charge of the night watch with Robin and the moon was full and bright, you took your journals and began rolling through the pages, looking for a pattern, something that anticipated every major decision of your captain.

You even borrowed old diaries from the time you were not part of their crew. The stories lacked details, but they served to paint a picture. Basically:

Luffy insults an ugly lady, saves a kid, eats something, finds Zoro, beats the crap out of a crazy marine, saves the day, gets his first crewmate. 

Luffy gets eaten by a bird, then vomited in a town, finds Nami, eats something, is put in a cage, beat the crap out of some pirates, saves the day.

 Luffy wants a new ship, meets Usopp, eats something, gets thrown from a cliff, beats the crap out of some pirates, saves the day, gets Going Merry and a liar. 

Luffy wants a cook, explodes a restaurant, becomes a waiter, eats something, meets Sanji, beats the crap out of some pirates, saves the day, gets a cook. 

Luffy eats something, finds the fishmen, goes for a walk, is thrown in the water, beats the crap out of some pirates, saves the day, gets a navigator.

Luffy wants a doctor, eats everything, fights some crazy ass bunnies, climbs a mountain, meets Chopper, beats the crap out of some pirates, saves the day, gets a doctor. 

Luffy eats something, wants to fix Going Merry, meets Franky, loses Robin, beats the crap out of some world government agents, saves the day, gets an archeologist, a shipwright, and Thousand Sunny. 

Luffy hears a ghoulish singing, finds a speaking skeleton in a busted ship, has his shadow stolen, beats the crap out of some Warlord of the Sea, gets a musician.

When you finished the last journal, the weight of your body pushed you to the floor, and you laid on your back for a couple of minutes, overwhelmed by the amount of information in your head.

¨I know what to do...¨ you took a deep breath ¨... I´m gonna eat something.¨

You mumbled something to Robin, telling her that you´d be back in a few minutes, and wandered to the kitchen. 

As soon as you entered the room a sweet and comforting aroma like whipped cream and strawberries invaded your senses, making your head turn to the counter immediately. 

¨Y/N-chan...¨ the cook said.

You opened and closed your mouth a couple of times, looked at him, and then to your feet, your fingers fidgeting as a sign of your anxious state. 

¨D-Didn't know you were awake.¨ you marched to the table and helped yourself with some sugar cookies.

¨Oh... It won´t take much longer...¨ you heard his muffled voice somewhere in the back of your mind, all you could hear was the blood pumping in your ears ¨... cake because today is my birthday and I thought we...¨ your vision was focused on the cookie jar, crushing the granular biscuit with your fingertips ¨...and I...I didn´t know if-¨

¨What would Luffy do?¨ you whispered to yourself.

¨W-What?¨ 

¨What would Luffy do?¨ 

The question wasn´t for him, it was for you. You felt something growing inside your chest, like the blood that pumped in your heart was boiling and burning, giving you the strength and courage you needed. 

¨I have been trying to find answers to a lot of things, you know?¨ you stood up to face the cook, palms spread on the table, ¨I ... do you hate me, Sanji?¨ 

He stopped what he was doing and let the knife rest on the cutting board. When his gaze found yours, there was no way back. That is what Luffy would do. He´d eat something, do whatever came to his mind, and deal with the consequences. No need to go back. 

¨Y/N-chan... why do you...¨

¨I mean, I ask this because...¨ you clenched your hands, cursing yourself for feeling the need to cry ¨I can´t take this anymore, Sanji! If I did something to offend you or if I said something...¨ your voice was broken and weak, and you were a mess of tears and sobs ¨You don´t have to love me back, that´s not what I am saying, but... I can´t stand-¨

¨Y/N-chan... why do you think I hate you?¨ he wiped his hands with a towel and made his way towards you, slowly.

¨Oh, come on, Sanji... You treat me differently, you´re cold and distant, you don´t say a word to me even when we share night shifts! If you don´t hate me, then this must be a sick game you´re playing.¨ your legs felt wobbly, and you sat back in the chair, not being able to face him anymore.  The courage and strenght you had minutes ago was gone.

You just watched him get closer and kneel in front of you, his cold fingers gently brushing away the hot tears on your cheeks. 

¨I could never hate you, Y/N.¨ he said softly ¨I am sorry I made you feel like this, I am sorry I made you cry...¨ his fingers touched your trembling lips. 

¨Then why...¨

¨I didn´t want to scare you away like I always do, Y/N... I know I can be too much sometimes, with the nose bleeding and everything. But that´s how I am, and I didn´t want you to think of me as an idiot... so I prefer being silent, then say something stupid and... ¨ 

¨You don´t have to say this. I don´t need pity talk...¨you spoke as more tears fell, giving him a chance to take his statement back.

¨I have to, Y/N. But not because of pity talk.¨ he gently pressed his forehead against yours, like bunnies do when they apologize. 

¨Then why?¨ 

¨Because I love you, Y/N.¨ the blonde closed the space left between the two of you, kissing you passionately. 

He helped you get up without breaking the kiss and leaned you against the kitchen table, his hands holding your body close while yours ran through his golden hair. His mouth tasted like strawberries and cigarettes, a flavor to which you could easily get addicted. 

You parted the kiss just enough to get some oxygen, your noses were touching, and you could feel his heavy breathing against your skin. 

¨I didn´t know today is your birthday...¨ you whispered, afraid that this was a dream and you´d wake up alone again. 

¨Yeah, I was hoping to get a Happy Birthday from you, you know.¨ he chuckled.

¨I think you´ll be getting more than that.¨

You stared into each other´s eyes for a moment before he pulled you to a hug. When you leaned against his warm chest you heard it again, the same babble of the ocean, only this time you smiled, knowing that it wanted to listen to your stories and secrets as well. 

¨Sanji?¨

¨Hm?¨

¨Happy Birthday... I love you.¨

¨I love you too, Y/N.¨ he kissed you again.

¨Please, don´t have sex on the dinner table.¨ you jumped when Robin spoke.

 When you turned, you saw all your crewmates dressed in pajamas and messy hair staring back at you with sparkly sleepy eyes. You spot Zoro back in the crowd, you smiled and gave him a silent ¨Thank you.¨. You couldn´t help but wonder how the guy who manages to gets lost walking down a straight path was able to guide some sense into you. 

In any way, you´ve found it. Inside of his chest, inside of his heart was the All Blue you heard so much of. Maybe that was the thing with it, and why only a few people found it. Everyone assumes that it is a place, where the four Blues meet, but it´s easy to forget that when you´re a pirate the ocean becomes the essence of who you are.

Little did you know that Sanji had found his All Blue too.

[aerialflight]

Fic Recs (cause it's always nice to give a shout out and get people into things I'm into rn)

[The Magnus Archives] (I recently finished the podcast and I fell into a hole for a while so here you go)

Sing a Song of Sixpence by Kaiel

Ship: Jon/Martin

In which Jonathan Sims is a Siren, and he fails to notice any new abilities granted to him by the position of Archivist. Or really anything about the Entities at all.

Takes place in season 1 featuring Jonah Magnus’s slow decent into madness

(The new mythology interwoven with tma's worldbuilding is so freaking good and I love how all the characters change and develop because of these changes. Also, f you Elias)

Along Came a Spider by Dribbledscribbles

Ship: implied Jon/Martin

Sasha James is the Archivist, as expected. Martin Blackwood is menaced by Jane Prentiss, as expected. Elias Bouchard weaves his web, as expected.

All goes as it should.

At least until something calling itself Jonathan Sims steps in.

(Web!Jon in this makes me want to weep, it's so freaking good. A pretty long, very excellent oneshot on what could've happened if Jon got taken by the web when he was a kid. And Sasha as the Archivist is ALWAYS so cool, we love her in this house.)

A Break in the Clouds by Ash_Rabbit

“I’m eight.” the kid sniffs as if eight was any different from four, maybe not an unspeakable horror then, just a regular horror. “And I heard that the Magnus Institute deals with-” his little nose scrunches, cute. “-spooky things.”

“Do you have a-” he cracks a grin, and then rethinks it as small hands tighten against their burden.”-spooky thing to deliver?” gods he hopes not, it’s bad enough when adults walk in and lay out all of their baggage, but for a child-

“There’s a spider in this book.” the kid says solemnly, raising his textbook sized parcel. “It ate Evan Pritchard.” a bloody fucking Leitner. Of course an eight year old would find a murder spider book. “This seemed like the best place to bring it.”

(I never thought about what the Original Elias could've been like AND NOW I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF THIS FIC. I LOVE HIM, HE'S COMPLEX AND HE CARES AND JON CARES AND THEY BOTH CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT, OMG. Also, Jon being even smaller than usual is adorable, so cute. No wonder Elias wants to hug him, a LOT.)

See the Line where the Sky meets the Sea by The_Floating_World

Ship: Jon/Martin, Jon/Oliver Banks

When Jon is a child he looks into the infinite abyss of space. The Vast looks back into him.

(One of my all time fave fics in this fandom, no questions asked. I have reread this three times and am open to doing it again, god. Vast!Jon, such a concept. It's written so beautifully and the relationships Jon develops, so good. ugh. My heart. Please please read.)

Sweet As Roses by Prim_the_Amazing

Ship: Jon/Martin

“Come in, Martin,” he says, not looking up from his notes.

“Hi, Jon,” he says, and Jon stops writing at the sound of his voice. “We’re out of the green tea, but we’ve got lemon?”

Jon looks at him. Martin smiles at him in his usual tentative way as he sets the mug of tea down on Jon’s desk. Heat spikes so sharply in his gut that he twitches with it.

“Thank you, Martin,” he says, mouth dry, and he stands up.

“Oh,” he says, sounding almost surprised. He smiles again. “No-- no problem-- um, what are you--”

Jon takes Martin by the shoulders, leans up on the tips of his toes, and kisses him.

(You have no idea how much I howled through this fic, my god. *buries face in hands* The number of times I wanted to cry from sheer hilarity and horror reading this good lord.)

Things Could Always Be Worse by theOestofOCs

Ship: Jon/Martin, Georgie/Melanie

Sometimes, the most horrifying thing of all is what might have been.

Somewhere, Jon could swear he heard a crowd laughing.

Or: in which Jonathan Sims is forced to swap places with his alternate self—a tall, chivalrous hero extraordinaire, who knows neither fear nor nuance—and is sent to the aggressively straight alternate universe the Magnus Archives was never meant to be.

“Whatever place this is,” Jon announced, “I just want to be sure it knows I hate it.”

(I will say this once, THIS IS THE MOST CURSED THING IVE EVER READ EVER. Like holy hell. I can't believe this thing exists. please read it oh please please please)

-

[Supernatural]

heard from your mother (she don't recognize you) by Schmuzz

Ship: Dean/Cas, Jessica/Sam

A man named Cas wakes up in 2003 with no memories, but he's able to piece together a few things:

1. Supernatural creatures exist, and most of them will hurt innocent civilians if he doesn't stop them; 2. He has abilities that no human hunter should have, but he knows enough about human hunters to keep that to himself, and finally; 3. He keeps running into another hunter named Dean Winchester, who seems to be about as lonely as he is if he's willing to put up with those former facts long enough to help Cas unravel the mystery of who (or what) he really is.

For his part, Dean's still (not) dealing with Sam's departure to Stanford, and figures distracting himself with a bit of mystery and intrigue is as harmless as it gets, right? Right.

(THE fic I'm most into right now, been following this from the very start and it's AMAZING. Cas has agency and is making friends and S1 Dean is growing out of John's influence and is becoming a Person and the both of them first being friends then more. The slow burn as their relationship develops, SO GOOD. SO SO DAMN GOOD. *screams* Seriously one of the best spn fics I've read in a long, long time.)

anamnesis by cenotaphy

Ships: Castiel/Dean, Sam/Eileen

Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be.

* Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19.

(THIS IS THE FIC THAT GOT ME THROUGH THE FINALE OKAY. WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE BEEN CANON. It's Disturbing and honestly plot-wise this makes more sense. Why couldn't we have had this. *screams*)

-

[Avatar: The Last Airbender]

where the stars do not take sides by WitchofEndor

Ship: Sokka/Zuko

When Azula is nine, she becomes an only child. She hears the Fire Lord call for Zuko's life, and in the morning, her mother and brother are gone. Azula may be young, but she isn't naive. She knows what happened to them.

Which makes it all the more surprising when Azula tracks the Avatar down and fights his group of peasant friends, only to find herself staring into an eerily familiar face.

(The fact one of the tags in this fic is, "Sibling Dynamic: Fucked Up But Wholesome" should give you an idea what this fic is like. Chaotic as HELL and I just love Azula here, she loves Zuko so much in her messed up way and Zuko loves her back in the exact same way lol. It's batshit and I am Here For This.)

-

[Naruto]

Eclipse by AislingRoisin (JayBird345) for HybrisAnaideia

Ship: Nara Shikaku/OFC

"In life, it's easier to remain stagnant and wallow in your troubles. But life isn't merely about continued existence, nor is it meant to be gone through alone."

(This is a fic that's slept on and I NEED people to read this. A self-insert fic that I find really interesting in its approach and the worldbuilding for the post-third war shinobi world is fantastic. I feel like there's a certain pattern with self-insert fics, not that is a detriment in any way to how much I enjoy them, so this fic feels fresh to me in a way I haven't read in a while. I am waiting eagerly for this to get updated! Please read!)

On Freedom and Other Formalities by iaso

Ship: Kakashi/Genma/OFC

When push comes to shove, Hiwa Inuzuka doesn't go down easy. Reborn into a new, dangerous world? She puts her past life as a spy to work. Thrown into a war? Hiwa does her duty, for Konoha. And when she's forced into an arranged marriage? All there is to do is beat them to the punch and get married first. Thankfully, Genma Shiranui is willing to lend a hand. Literally. SI/OC

(Listen, LISTEN, it's about the slow burn, the longing, the communication (it both has and hasn't and isn't THAT great??), the messy way you fit three very different people together, it's so freaking good! Also, Kakashi is so Chaotic here this is my fave characterization of him, you can't change my mind. And Genma is a Good Boi who is Doing His Best, along with the Self-insert character who I LOVE SO MUCH, SHE'S FANTASTIC FNEIWOPAF. Sped past this fic in the speed of light, I could not stop reading!)(Honestly, read all of the author's fics, they're all really REALLY good!)

Building a Castle by WhisperingDarkness

Without needing anyone to tell her, Sakura knew that talking to someone no-one else could see or hear would make her weird. It would draw the bad kind of attention to her, something people could make fun of her for.

She didn’t like being weird, but she did like the voice. Her inner voice was helpful and it was a part of her that had always been there. The idea of it not being there would have been so much weirder than anything else.

It was during her first year at the Academy that Sakura realised the voice was not in her head at all, but that it came from a cloudy shape floating next to her.

(Basically a short-ish retelling of Hikaru no Go. Only with more Shogi and Nara and Ninja's)

(Sakura can see ghosts (I'm noticing this is a popular trope for her) and it's really cute haha! Her relationship with Tobirama is sweet and I just enjoyed reading this so much.)

-

[The Magicians]

So Long (And Thanks For All The Books) by IncompleteSentanc (Erava)

Ships: Quentin/Eliot, James/Julia, Quentin/Margo/Eliot

When Quentin is told Julia wasn't admitted to Brakebills, he realizes he has a drastic decision in front of him. If he tells Julia about magic, he'll have his mind wiped as well as hers. But he can't just leave her behind, either. He can't lose his best friend, and he can't let her life a life with her magical potential stolen away from her.

So he makes a third choice.

(Really, and I mean REALLY well-done canon divergent fic, this is the Quentin & Julia friendship fic I have been looking for forever. It explores so much of what could've happened and I just love Quentin here, I really really do. Characterization done so right. I also recommend the author's other works too. Been a follower of them for a long time, they're great.)

-

[Game of Thrones]

The Road to Victory by writing_as_tracey

Too late in preparing for the Night King and the Long Night, the last stand at Winterfell is close to falling. Bran takes desperate measures to ensure victory, and Jon, Sansa, and Arya pay the price for it in a time unfamiliar to them, on the cusp of another war. [GoT, time-travel fix it]

(I swear, this fic made me laugh so many times, all the Stark are BAMF and fantastic, and Rhaegar gets Wrecked lol. It's crack btw, and the plot goes in directions you'll never guess and it's amazing hahaha!)

-

[Haikyuu!!] (I am very very late to the fandom but here I am)

Ballare (To Dance) by MidnightSparks

Ship: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, and platonic Kageyama & Kentarou (really love their friendship)

Kageyama’s first love is volleyball. His second, however, is ballet.

In one world, Kageyama Tobio is left behind by his parents. In this world, the existence of soulbonds keeps Kageyama’s parents in Miyagi and leaves Kageyama in the care of his grandma and grandpa.

(In which soulmates exist and that changes everything and nothing at the same time.)

(*buries face in hands* I have fallen for this ship so hard and I can't get out fudge me. I understand now. Their DYNAMICS FIEWONPAF)

Kings of Tomorrow by bokubroya (liarielle)

Ship: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru

On the eve of Tobio’s 16th birthday, he counts down the seconds to midnight, and emerges with Oikawa Tooru’s name on his wrist.

It’s been two years since then, and Tobio thought they had an understanding. A silent, never spoken about understanding that this thing between them is nothing, and they’re going to pretend it doesn’t exist.

Of course, it’s just like Oikawa to change the game and leave Tobio wondering what comes next.

(I am WEAK for soulmate fics between these two, I don't even really like soulmate fics half the times what is WRONG WITH ME-)(Please suffer with me, I'm begging you. Its a good fic, thumbs up.)

-

[Crossover]

Honey and Magic by JustARatherVerySillyWriter, White_Squirrel for Super Carlin Brothers

Fandoms: Matilda (yeah you read that right), Harry Potter

Everyone knew Matilda was a rather extraordinary child, but even she didn't know she was a witch. Matilda Honey receives her Hogwarts letter in the year of the Triwizard Tournament, and soon, she will leave her unique mark on the magical world.

(Do I even need to explain how amazing it is to have Matilda in the wizarding world? And Matilda is a HUFFLEPUFF AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL THIS FIC IS GREAT PLEASE READ!!!)

An Eye for an Eye by DpsMercy

Fandoms: The Magnus Archives, Welcome to Night Vale

In which Jonathan Sims is not from the UK but instead, if you took his origins and turned them sideways twice then flipped them over, he technically would be from the US, the town of Night Vale specifically. Elias can’t do shit about it and gets a headache and slowly creeping madness instead.

(Look, I know probably everyone has read this because if they haven't, what have you been DOING with your lives??? Jon interning at Night Vale is Incredible, nothing phases this man, it's Delightful. I laughed so many times reading this, I'm not even kidding right now. Read or perish.)

The Favour by R_Cookie

Fandoms: Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Ship: Original Percival Graves/Harry Potter

Percival is ten years old when his grandfather tries to tell him that he's ensured the greatness of the Graves legacy for him, that he ought to be eternally grateful - but the explanation is hijacked by a stranger who manages to intimidate Chester Graves with an ease never seen before.

or: Hadrian (Harry) Potter is the Master of Death, who grants Graves a boon. Nobody could have known that the Deathly Hallows didn't turn you so much into the 'Master of Death' as into the anthropomorphic personification of Death. And so, Death becomes Percival's guardian angel, and Percival does not spit out his cereal.

(Look, I don't know how I stumbled back into the FBAWTFT fandom either, it just happened and I'm grateful for that. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found this amazing fic. Their relationship is slow and strange and I just love how Percival is characterized here. Also, one of the tag promises that it deviates from canon so I am really, really excited for that! XD)

baby that's what i do by natanije

Fandoms: Naruto, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!

"Are you telling me," Hidan exclaims, incredulous, "that you collect money all this time to give to orphans?!"

Kakuzu pauses. He blinks a few times.

"Huh. I guess I do."

(Tsuna reincarnates as Kakuzu and it's HILARIOUS. HE'S SUCH A MOM HAHAHA)

[remmushound]

Bay/rise 46!! @errorfreak88 @brightlotusmoon @digitl-art-monstr @selfindulgenz @dakotafinely @yarchurr @sprinklestheditty @sententiously-sarcastic

Content warning! Mentions of death and suicide

Shredder was fighting with everything he had to free himself. He thrashed around, spinning as much as the tight containment would allow. If anything, he looked like a housecat in a carrier on its way to the vet. The families from both worlds gathered around the containment, much to Shredder’s furious frustration as he tried to slash himself free, but the containment held firm.

“Release me at once!” He snarled, pressing his muzzle to the clear door that didn't quite look to be glass; it had a more pinkish tint, like everything else in this place did.

Mikey and Raph looked at each other, and then looked at Shredder. “NAW!”

“April!” Leo ran to O’neil’s side as she finally removed her disguise, then looked beside her with a more confused look when he saw Casey. “Casey? How are you here— how are you breathing?”

O’neil opened her mouth to show what looked like gum on her tongue. “The other Donnie made these.”

All eyes fell wide on Donatello.

“What? I had a few hours while Leo was coming up with a plan.” Donnie shrugged, “They’re just prototypes. You can keep the rest if you want— I got a dozen more of the things.”

“But how did you—?”

“It’s easy! You mentioned that they shouldn’t be able to breath in here and i figured it was because of the weird properties of the air, but clearly we could breathe here, and so could my April so I took swabs of all of our mouths and then I took a swab of their mouths, compared the differences, and isolated the isotopic signatures that they didn't have and applied that knowledge into creating a gelatin-based supplement, and I gave their bodies a few hours to process the change, and then tested it by putting them near Leo’s rift where the atmosphere’s of both places merged and they were doing just fine so I deduced that my genius worked and we followed through with the plan. Any questions?”

“Several.” Mikey raised his hand.

“Write em down when we get home and I’ll answer them then.”

“Hey— you ain’t got yo uh… shell thing on.” Raph commented when he came behind Donatello.

“Yes— it didn't work with the plan. I needed to make him think I was Leo. Colored lenses, man I tell ya, they’ll change the world! My battle shell’s back home so I’d really like to get back there like ASAP because I am feeling highly anxious right now.”

“For a second there I didn't even think your plan would work.” Leo laughed weakly and shook his head, “Good idea using Draxum!”

Leonardo didn't answer.

“Leo? Donatello asked.

Leonardo walked closer to the containment cell and placed his hand on it, staring in at the tortured figure of his brother. The creature was Shredder in both mind and body, no doubt about that. The armor, the metal ribs, those sickle claws were all Shredder! But the plastron, and those baby blues eyes belonged to Raphael and to see them on someone else— something else— made Leonardo incredibly sad. He wondered if Raphael could still hear him…? Maybe not. But Shredder certainly could, right?

“Can you hear me?” Leonardo whispered to the tank; his eyes locked onto the blue ones just beyond the barrier.

Shredder gave a low rumble and lowered his head to meet Leonardo’s gaze.

“You can, can’t you? I know your name…”

“I am the Shredder…” Shredder rasped quietly.

“No you’re aren’t. The armor is Shredder. I don’t know if you’re him anymore since you swallowed my brother, but you used to be Oroku Saki.”

Shredder visibly flinched at the name, snarling and pulling his head back into his armor as far as it could go. “Don’t say that name…”

“Why? It is your name, isn’t it?” Leonardo asked, “I know it because Draxum told me. He was just a kid back then, but he knows the stories. The stories of the great and noble Oroku saki.”

“What is he doing?” Leo almost snarled, but Draxum held out a hand for silence.

Draxum watched with the utmost curiosity, his eyes shimmering like rubies as he observed Shredder's reaction to every word being said.

“You led the Foot Clan over five hundred years ago, right? Your clan lived in peace, and you learned from the kappa. They taught you ninjitsu and you brought it back to your Clan, didn't you…?”

Shredder gave the lowest grunt. “I remember. I met them when I was young boy playing by the river. I gave them an offering of cucumbers, and as a thanks they gave me my first lesson.”

“I knew you remembered.” Leonardo said, his heart sparking at the implications of what it could mean, “I knew it! Your clan was so… honorable until a great evil came to your land, and you couldn’t fight it off. Do you remember what the evil was…?”

Shredder gave an evil roar and tried to charge the door, though he couldn’t get much of a running start to do any damage. Leonardo held his hands up in peaceful surrender.

“Don’t wanna talk about it! Completely understand!”

Shredder settled back down quickly.

“You must be in so much pain.” Leonardo shook his head slowly as he touched the glass. “Saki… all you wanted to do was protect your clan, and now you’ve had to fight this dark armor for… for years. You… you’re so tired and— and you can’t fight anymore and that's okay! You’ve been fighting for five hundred years…”

Shredder brought the nose of his armor to touch where Leonardo’s hand was, his eyes still watching Leonardo in a quiet observance.

“You don’t have to fight anymore— at least not alone! But Raph… if you can hear me, I need you to fight harder than you ever have. Please… if you d… don’t… then I’ll have to destroy you and I don’t think I can…”

Leonardo rested his head against the door, the coldness of the chamber like sweet relief from the heat of his body.

“I know it's still you in there. I can see your eyes! And I need you to fight this, because if you don't then you’ll destroy me because I can’t destroy you. And then Mikey and Donnie, our baby brothers… they’re gonna have to watch both of us die. Heh…” Leonardo laughed weakly as he wiped his eyes, a wavering smile trying to take hold of his face. “You hear what I said? Baby brothers. Donnie’s older than me, I know, but… it just felt right. Silly Leo huh?”

Shredder didn't answer.

“And not just them. Our father… our sister… our new friends. They’re gonna have to watch it happen. They’re gonna have to watch us die… so I need you to fight this. Please.”

Shredder stared, his eyes like icicles piercing through Leonardo like knives. Still he said nothing. He didn't move, hardly breathed. He just stared.

“Raph…” Michelangelo’s weak voice rasped suddenly, and Shredder snapped his attention to look at the approaching box turtle. Michelangelo was fiddling with his hands in front of him, his head low and eyes wide and sad. “Hi. It’s Mikey. Can you hear me?” He touched the door just as Leonardo was. “I really really want you back. I miss you.”

Shredder stared intently at Michelangelo. Michelangelo looked to Leonardo with a soft whimper, but Leonardo waved him on gently.

“D… do you remember when we ordered that Lou Jitsu video game and… and I really wanted to pick it up all on my own? You were so scared that I would get hurt, because I’m… little and stuff. I’m your baby brother! But even though you were scared, you still eventually let me go? And… when I did get in trouble like you said I would, you didn't yell or shout at me or anything. You just… gave me a hug and helped me! You didn't try to say you told me so even though you did tell me so. Do you remember that?”

Shredder gave a low rumble.

“Raph…” Donatello’s voice came this time, just as straightforward as ever but with a new, gentler tone to it if that were possible. “Do you uh… remember Mrs.Cuddles?”

Shredder gave a sharp growl and pulled back.

“Take that as a yes.” Donatello cleared his throat, “You know how it was my dumb idea for April to bring the doll over in the first place? Just to scare you like a jerk of a little brother?”

Shredder leaned closer once more.

“You… forgave all of us for it… even though it was our fault that the thing nearly killed our family and all of New York? That was pretty cool of you.”

“Red Rover?” This time it was April’s turn to approach, “You’ve always been a good big brother! I remember back when y'all were still eating dumpster scraps and I’d bring y'all snacks any time I could swing it with my parents. And every time, no matter how many snacks I brought, I never seen you eat one cause you were always too concerned with making sure your brothers got something that wasn’t gutter trash.”

Draxum stepped up. “When Michelangelo er… was helping me to change my ways… you hated me. Absolutely despised me, for good reason. I had done terrible things up until that point. Yet… when your brother orange begged you to give me a chance, you did. You didn't trust me, but you trusted him, and you gave me a chance. I thank you now…”

“And when Draxum threw me off a building and I could’ve gotten really hurt you… you dove right down after me. No hesitation, no panic. Just straight down after me and… and you caught me. I was being so obnoxious that day too.”

“My son… My Raphael…” Yoshi was the last to step up, his ears pressed back against his head as he smiled at the Shredder’s eyes. “I remember when you were small enough to fit in my hands. Oh, you were such a fussy baby! I would always sing you and your brothers the same lullaby my grandfather sung to me. You remember how it goes?”

Shredder didn't respond.

“I would hate babysitting beyond the Bon Festival. The snow begins to fall and the baby cries…”

The pupils of Shredder’s eyes dilated, filling almost the entirety of the dark space.

“How can I be happy even when Bon Festival is here…? Unwillingly babysitting thinking of days after mid-summer Bon holiday. The flurry of cold snow continues… and a baby repeating cries. Even come Bon holiday, what is so joyful, no clothes and no sash for attire. The baby is so irritable to cry. That baby’s crying annoys me. Babysitting for a whole day, or even more. Every day I grow thinner. Wishing to get back home in a hurry across the border. That’s my parents' home…” Yoshi gave the softest laugh as he finished the lullaby and wiped his eyes clear of tears. “Oh, how you all loved that song. I… was in a dark place back then— so resentful of where my life was. But you boys helped me more than I could ever thank you for. If there hadn’t have been the need to take care of you, then I… wouldn’t be here today. I would have… done something cowardly. But I’m so glad I didn't. So please, my son… Raphael… let me help you.”

[shades4dogs]

i had a SUPER tiring day i mite talk abut later but RIGHT NOW i wanna talk about the make it sweet! album for Um Jammer Lammy because i listtened to than a couple days ago, and just today i showed it 2 my little brother, and i wanted to write down what i thought about the tracks!!

i wrote down my personal thoughts on each track and gave it a rating out of 5 Dashies (-= It’s because i’m autistic plain and simple

if you read all of this you’re officially a legend

[1/2) Let’s Jam Together!/KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!] - waow!!!

I LOVE THIS SONG <3 i really liked this song when i heard it in the credits and was wondering what its name was, it was nice to hear it in the album as the very first track!!

i love the additional dialogue at the start, the “Hey, do you play the guitar? Let’s jam together!” really represents the ragtaginess of the band just kind of throwing themselves together to make music so naturally... like little jigsaw pieces... it makes me want to know exactly how they interacted before the formation of MilkCan, how long they’d known each other/how they had known each other, or if they met right as they made the band.

the playful and funny lyrics of this song are really great, and i like the way it trails off in the middle. like the song was just Katy Kat truly venting off her frustrations and heartbreak about someone she used to like.

i wonder who exactly Katy Kat is talking about here in this song... well anyways she’s got lammy now so all’s well (-=

the second portion’s lyrics sound a little dopey and off-key, but i think it reflects katy’s mood regarding the lyrics of how easy her life used to be, and it all comes together beautifully for the chorus reprise with some pretty strings (i love strings in rock music!)

i bet this kind of music really resonated with some young girls listening. Can’t relate however as I hate men.

overall this is a 5/5 dashies! “Amazing!”

[3) FRIGHT FLIGHT!!] - LOOK UP IN THE SKY.

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS IN THE GAME! when it started obviously i was expecting fussenpepper, and it was shocking to hear katy kat singing it

i think this is one of the covers that katy kat’s voice matches the most! her voice really fits shouting like that, it’s really hyped up

my favourite line from her cover is the “Now it’s time to move on, it only gets much harder, so carry on!”

and obviously i love hearing her say “Now do you like munchies? I wonder where lunch is!”

i do think that captain fussenpepper’s voice suits the song better than her, because it was made with him, but her voice definitely shines on this track!

overall this is a 4/5 dashies! “Really Good!”

[4) BABY BABY!!] - Imagine kids singing this on a car trip with their parents looking dead inside in the front seats.

I USED TO NOT LIKE THIS SONG. but playing it myself really warmed me up on it, and this version on the album made me like it even more!! i love katy kat’s additional lines between the baby’s, she suits giving those secondary vocals and they add a whole additional layer to the song.

i also like that the baby’s lyrics kind of echo over lammy’s guitar parroting, like you can hear the “... ma ma ma ma” coming in at the end of her first part, it sounds really nice!

this is the song i can really imagine kids shouting the lyrics to at a birthday party or something and i think they knew that when they added it O_O

overall this is a 4.5/5 dashies! “Almost Perfect!” i think it would’ve been cooler if the lammy and katy kat parts were more integrated with eachother. don’t ask me how exactly, because i don’t know, and maybe they didn’t either... it still came out REALLY nice!

[5) FIRE FIRE!!] - Aweome where is chief puddle? )-=

i think that this is my favourite song in the entire game, altho that will change depending on what day you ask me it, and a big part of it is fire chief puddle’s vocals and the brass and sound effects of the song

it kind of sucks that a lot of that seems lacking in katy’s version, although i like that it kind of seems like theres more emphasis on the percussions of it!

i don’t like the distant whispery vocals on the “Put it on the fire, feel good, Put it out cold and feel good”, it sounds really weird. because those lyrics are one of my favourites in the original song with chief puddle. i’d definitely rather listen to his version

overall this is a 3/5 dashies! “It’s Good!” i like katy’s vocals, but they definitely come out better on other tracks, and i miss chief puddle.

[6) PJ Berri Jam] - Much Love To The Funny Bear That Make’s Me Smile.

title made me a lot more excited for this song than i ended up feeling about it... OBVIOUSLY NO INSULT TO PJ’S JAM BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN COOL TO HAVE A BEAT WITH ORIGINAL LYRICS instead of just lines from the one cutscene...

it’d have been cooler if it was longer too, but i understand why it wasn’t, because the instrumentals work best in this little snippet instead of long-term where they’d definitely require more lyrics

i like that it sounds like the Fire Fire! parappa version considering that’s his first stage! i don’t know if there’s any verification to this, but it makes me think that the beats for all of parappa’s songs in Um Jammer Lammy are made by PJ, which is just really nice to think about... he’s so skilled ;_; PJ and parappa’s iconic collabs...

i don’t know how to rate this at all, but for the headcanon it gave me, i’m giving it a 4/5 dashies! “Really Good!”

[7) BIRTH SONG] - i wouldn’t play for someone else

EXTREMELY FUNNY NAME

i think i like the choir vocals of the song in the cutscenes, but i definitely love katy’s voice in this one, it sounds really sweet

i can’t remove it from the weirdness of the scenario (the first time i saw that shit i was so goddamn baffled) but this does actually Make It Sweet!

i love how her voice sounds in the chorus, and the last line (“Our newest little baby!”) sounds really nice in her voice!! 

IDK EXACTLY HOW TO DESCRIBE IT... her vocals just seem... sweetly genuine? like not that she’s really invested in what she’s saying, but just that she’s really enjoying singing it in a small and cute way? IDK... EITHER WAY i like it!

i like the additional lyrics as well! extensions to parappa/ujl songs should always be welcomed i think.

overall i rate this a 3.5/5 dashies! “Pretty Good!” weird song made fun and sweet by katy kat, thank you so much!

[8) THEME OF RAMMY] - music that makes you cause problems

yesssss YESSSSSSS YESSSSSSSSSS

WHEN I GOT TO THIS TRACK IT BECAME ONE OF MY NEW FAVOURITES OF THE WHOLE GAME!

i love the ditzy yet cool lull of the electric guitar, it sounds playful and silly, but with the aesthetic of the instruments used in the song it sounds awesome at the same time.

the strings throughout the song following the rhythm of that guitar add a slight classical feel to it as well that i really like, a level of elegance in contrast to the next part i describe

the muffled and staticy electric guitar parts sound so discordant, yet perfectly in control at the same time, and very In-Your-Face as they just come and go at random over the base sillysong. i really really like that, and it shows off Rammy’s fiery attitude!

i really love how the violent clash of the instruments seems to come together so well in this. it is a really well-made song that made me like Rammy more than i did previously. i think people who know me well will understand that i really like strings in otherwise intense songs, like violins and stuff, so i was really happy to hear some!

FULLY HONESTLY, MY ONLY WISH? is that it was longer. LOL

as an aside, the lull i described reminds me way too much of the theme for sam and max’s office in the TTG series. which obviously is a very personal reason to like the song more, but it is a reason for me NoneTheLess.

overall this gets a 5/5 dashies! “Amazing!”

[9) CASINO IN MY HAIR] - texan ear worm signs.

PAUL CHUCK COME GET YOUR SONG

ALSO THIS SONG BELONGS TO SANDY CHEEKS.

katy kat’s voice fits this song EXTREMELY SURPRISINGLY WELL! i like that she puts on the accent and everything, the rhythm of the lyrics and her enthusiasm go together so NICE!

i like the expansion of the lyrics and the repetition of it is one of its strengths, like any song of that kind (hopefully)

it’s a really big earworm for me, and every so often ill just sing out “Where’s that place that comes in pairs whenever I’m aware? Casino here, casino there, casino in my hair!” VERY SIMPLE YET VERY CATCHY

Yee Haw!

overall i rate this a 4.5/5 dashies! “Super Cool!” it couldn’t be better, but i wouldn’t say it’s one of the best, just for the sheer quality of the other songs i’ve given 5/5 to so far

SIDENOTE - [10) Radio Signal Jam] - F*ck you

OK. i like the presentation of this as if it’s playing live on a radio. it’s a nice little additional flavour to the whole thing that i enjoy immensely. HOWEVER.

nothing can match my disappointment at the next song not being Master Onion’s song. My heart will forever be broken by this traitorous deception. I was promised Tamanegi Sensei. Where is he! WHERE IS HE!!! WAS HE TO BUSY GAMBLING?? COME BACK I LOVE YOU

O-K let’s move on

[11) TASTE OF TERIYAKI] - songs that have mood swings

this song baffles me. i definitely get what they were trying to do with the intro portions with the dramatic quiet, the focus on the vocals and guitar with the creeping and echoing drums and reverberating electronic sounds

it could’ve been really cool, but for the most part it frankly sounds sh*t.

if they could’ve gotten some line re-dos from Teriyaki’s singer to match the lower tempo, it definitely would have sounded most excellent. But the use of the lyrics from the high-tempo song here is just jarring. when i showed this to my brother he genuinely just started laughing from how bad it sounded.

BUT HERE’S WHERE I CAN’T JUST RULE IT AS A BAD SONG.

THE SUDDEN SHIFT INTO THE HIGH TEMPO. IT IS BEAUTIFUL. IT ADDS SO MUCH EXTRA POWER TO THE CHORUS OF THE SONG. i like the song more with the brass and the backup singers, but this genuinely sounds so goddamn cool.

i LOVE the additional lines from teriyaki, it makes them sound even more like an idol! they sound amazing!

And then it stops. Back to the slow nonsense. I am left to dream of what could’ve been. i will say this one sounds better than the other one. Possibly because it’s shorter.

AND THEN THE AWESOME SONG COMES BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I’M LIKE YEAH WOO!!!!! i love the additional discordant sounds in this version, and i like that they did sometimes include the cool SHHH-PSHHH slap-ish sound in the chorus for this portion. the da da da DA DA! being with guitars instead of brass used to disappoint me, but the more i hear it here, the more i like it.

and then my favourite part of the song: the backup vocals combined with a fast rattling-off of teriyaki’s vocal lines from parappa’s version. this sounds godlike. This is the best. I roll around in circles listening to and thinking about this part. the fact that it fades out right as it gets to that breaks my heart into little pieces.

and then it’s over...

i think it’s very fitting that the song that takes over the album out of nowhere and is literally from hell is the most baffling and loved/hated by me. i don’t think i’ve ever been able to truly say that i both love and hate a song.

if someone was good enough at editing to combine this with the actual version of the song, as well as the vocal lines from parappa’s version, into an essentially extended cut of the album version without the weird slow parts, i would be forever indebted to them.

overall i rate this a ???/5 dashies. ”Help!” it flipflops way too much for me to give a number. Thank you Teriyaki Yoko.

[12) POWER OFF! POWER ON!] - HYYYYYYPE

i need to say it. this song has the coolest sounds in the entire game. this is one of the songs that i might abruptly decide is my favourite for a day or so and then go back to Fire Fire! or Taste of Teriyaki (game version). the guitar is most exquisite in this song.

my little brother adores this song, and a big part of that is credited to the silly vocals of Paul Chuck. he’s like Goofy but extra lethal. i love him

ANYWAYS. after Fire Fire! i was concerned that this song’s vocals would be replaced entirely by Katy, but it seems like they understood Paul Chuck’s integral nature to the charm of the song, and so we get a back-and-forth of them both singing lines, with lammy playing in between. it sounds REALLY good!

i like the additional lines by Chuck at the beginning during the intro. they’re a nice little bonus for the three Paul Chuck fans that exist (two being me and my brother)

as always, gotta love katy kat’s vocals!! they definitely benefit from being combined with the vocals of the original song. the chorus parts where they both sing in unison sound AWESOME!!! i wonder if the Fire Fire! cover would have benefited from this alternation....

the filter over the “NEVER USE JOE CHIN’S CHAIN’S FOR THEM!” really adds to it as well! i like that addition.

by the way my favourite line from this song is the “All I wanna hear is you’ve come over here, there’s no fooling around with gears!” it just has such a good flow. not really explicitly related to this version specifically, maybe less so since i prefer it with Chuck’s voice over Katy’s, but yeah.

this song is really hard for me in-game. like, more than any other song i think, apart from Taste of Teriyaki. which i would like to thank this song for allowing me to escape from (-=

this gets a 5/5 Dashies and a “DA-HYUCK!” from me!

[13) WE ARE MILKCAN!!] - Woaah My Head Is Spinning!

another original that only plays during the cutscenes, understandably without the vocals. i liked it then, and i like it even more now!

katy’s lyrics add SO SO MUCH to the high-tempo intensity of the introduction to this song, and the chaos of the entire thing makes it really fun to listen to

i do still enjoy the slower parts of this song! i can imagine katy singing this as the events she describe happen in real time. i really like listening to her try to encourage lammy and ma-san to get it together and play with her. 

the bouncing between the full music of her lines contrasting with the quiet and dinky replies of ma-san and lammy makes this track really fun to listen to!

after that part, it goes back to sounding like the intro portion again, but increases in tempo drastically overtime, before suddenly slowing down again and then launching into high speed at random. it’s a really fun and theatrical and dramatic piece to listen to!!!

personally though, it’s not so much my thing based on the sound alone. it’s definitely a great song but i like things a little more relaxed and orderly than this. the quality of it comes from the lyrics and the emotions they manage to carry through with the instrumentals. its a really good glimpse into the nature and personality of MilkCan!

i give this song a 4/5! “Really Good!” there’s nothing i’d suggest to improve this song. it’s just a little to hectic for me, and feels more like music for a theatrical play than any other track. i generally don’t like that kind of stuff (altho there’s definitely exceptions)

SIDENOTE - [14) Jam Chin] - F*ck you eggplant head saunaman.

You disrespected Parappa. You disrespected Sunny Funny and her sweet smile. You have disrespected MilkCan.

Thank you Ma-San for killing this man. I love U.

[15) GOT TO MOVE! (Millennium Girl)

the final song... i knew it would be Got To Move... it makes COSMIC sense

i like the additional little part before the song begins giving some time to breathe in before my head starts screaming in excitement at this song.

this is an AMAZING song and another one of my little brother’s favourites! he likes to sing it! it’s not one of my favourites but it’s definitely revered with me. it’s a sheer quality song and the one that best captures the soul of MilkCan!!

and i have to say. this album version made me like it EVEN MORE. at first i was enjoying the regular song, but then in the second part PARAPPA comes in with the alternate lines from his version in-between Katy Kat’s lines. it is SO SO SO cool. i often think about how songs in the game would sound with parappa’s versions incorporated in some fashion like this and it comes out so EPIC!!

it seriously made me pog SO hard when i heard him coming in. SOOOO exciting!

some thought notes about this song:

i really like the guitar during the portion leading up to the chorus, it sounds really cool.

katy’s singing in the chorus itself is the best of ALL her singing! her voice blends perfectly with the tone, the pitch shifts, the vibes... angellic truly

parappa‘s lyrics in-between add such an awesome additional energy, especially the lyrics that go on a little longer, like “But let me give you a word of advice, it seems like a waste of time, but it’s nice!” those lines shine the most to me.

my other favourite part is the rapid backforth in the later part of the chorus, especially the “GO! ON! MOVE! ON!” between katy’s lines. it goes together IMPECCABLY

it should be obvious, but this song gets a 5/5 Dashies from me! “Amazing!” it truly blew me away, just like the 5/5 Dashie portions of Taste of Teriyaki did. i love the fact that Parappa’s lines are slightly more muted and behind a bit of a filter to make sure the focus is on Katy’s iconic lines, but are clear enough to be enjoyed.

Truly Thank U so much if you read this far... i love u so mach.... thank you for listening to me ramble about my current hyperfix <3 (-=

[thatssokatsuki]

Monster || Hitoshi Shinso x Reader

Pairing: Hitoshi Shinso x Reader Song: Dodie Clark - Monster Summary: You’re a simple transfer student who sees more in the quiet class outcast than meets the eye Warnings: fluff, mostly Word Count: 2,537 A/N: If you’re on mobile, I’m so so so sorry, not all of the formatting is crossing over ㅠㅠ

Tell me again about how it hurts Being awfully loud for an introvert Get out of my room, smile wiped clean Isn't it weird to be so mean? 

His entire life, Shinso had to deal with people making crude comments and overall bullying him over his quirk. Yeah, sure, it wasn’t a physical quirk like say Almights or Mt. Lady,, it was more mental. Well, to be specific, he could brainwash people when he wanted as long as they spoke to him. For this, well, everyone thought he would make a good villian and nobody would let that go for years. Even when he got into the school of his dreams (albeit into general studies because his quirk doesn’t work against robots for obvious reasons), it never let up. There were a handful who didn’t treat him like some kind of monster, but even so he was usually met with distrust which understandably got on his nerves quite a bit. He pretty much got tired of it real fast, and that was very evident in his face, as he hardly ever smiled and his exhaustion showed very clearly in his eyes. 

I'm guessing that I've grown horns I guess I'm human no more I can tell I've rotted in your brain

A few months into the school year, you transferred into his class, also having a quirk that didn’t really help much in combat. Not too long after walking into your class, you noticed a tired looking, but cute, boy in the back of the room sitting away from everyone, or rather, it seemed they were sitting away from him. He seemed disinterested in you and your other classmates, and even went as far as to yawn as you introduced yourself to the class. There were a few other empty seats around the classroom, but it would seem you surprised him when you decided to take the empty seat next to him. A brief look of confusion crossed his face, but he quickly shrugged it off, assuming you handn’t heard about him and his quirk yet. However that would quickly change. Just as you were getting up to go to lunch, and hopefully sit with him, one of your classmates noticed what you were going to do and tried to stop you. They had said that he was almost destined to become a villain, and that he had a brainwashing quirk. He happened to overhear this and ended up assuming that you would be no different than anyone else he had ever met. He assumed that you would think he was a monster.

Oh, how easily passion twists You think I'm a crazy bitch I craft my words to fit your head 'Cause no one listens to the dead

You ended up shrugging off your classmate, mumbling a mere “His quirk doesn’t make him a villain in the making”, although no one seemed to hear you. Your classmate threw their hands up and said “Hey, just thought I’d warn you before you speak to him”, and walked away. You jogged up to him and decided to go for a friendly greeting, but he cuts you off, saying that hes not interested in hearing your opinion about him or his quirk. This leaves you standing there, shocked, as he continues his pace to the cafeteria. He honestly felt a bit bad after the fact, because you seemed genuinely nice,, but hes seen enough “genuinely nice” people that he doesn’t wanna take anymore risks. Hell, its not like anyone up to this point wanted to be in his presence. 

So maybe I will talk to you The only way I know how to Mhm, I've said my speech Mhm, through sharpened teeth You break the rules and spikes grow from your skin Please let the devil in

Despite your recent interaction with him, you ended up sitting at the same table as him, figuring it was better than sitting by yourself amongst people you dont know. A lunch alone and silent had seemed like the better option than having to listen to a conversation you had no interest in. He looked down the table and noticed you seeming deep in thought, quietly poking at your food. He looked around and took note of the empty seats at all the other tables, and how even after your last conversation, you chose to sit at the same table as him anyways. “Hey! y/n, right? Look, I’m sorry about earlier..” He said, shifting in his seat. You simply looked up at him and shrugged, smiling slightly. He took your lack of words in a response as you taking what the other students said as truth. So he looked back at his own food in silence, not expecting your eventual response. “...Actually, I understand. You probably overheard what they said.. It wasn’t cool of them though, and I can’t even begin to fathom what it must be like to deal with that..” You had said softly, but loud enough for him to hear. He looked back up at you, a little surprised, but you haven’t looked up away from your food it would seem. “Yeah, its rough, but its been this way for a while so I’m used to it.” He had stated. This time you looked him in the eyes, sadness adorning your own. “You shouldn’t be, though.. Used to it, I mean. Your quirk is honestly really cool, and I think it’d make you a really awesome superhero.” You finally saw the smallest of smiles creep onto his face, causing you to smile back at him in return.

A meter apart, we blankly stare We shout in our heads, "Are you still in there?" Well, this ends bad then, we knew it would So we won't eat our words, 'cause they don't taste good

A few more months pass, and you and Shinso have become practically inseparable.You both got some odd looks here and there, but nothing you couldn’t handle. You wouldn’t trade your best friend for the world, and overtime you felt yourself wanting to be more with him. He was quiet and a bit cold, yeah, but with you he was sweet and charming and warm. You knew he would never use his quirk on you to hurt you, and you wouldn’t do the same to him. Although your newfound feelings caused for some awkward moments, but thats mostly because he didn’t know how you felt. He honestly wanted to know why that happened, but he knew forcing it out of you would only break the trust you both shared, although he would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried you would finally listen to your classmates. 

I'm guessing that I've grown horns I guess I'm human no more I can tell I've rotted in your brain Oh, how easily passion twists You think I'm a crazy bitch A thousand words are left unsaid 'Cause no one listens to the dead

A few more months pass, and to his relief, you two are still as thick as thieves. Whenever someone would bully him, you (in your slowly growing confidence) would stand up for him, and if anyone bullied you, he had your back and stood up for you. Along the way, you had befriended some of the kids from class 1-A,, Deku, Ochaco, Jiro, Tsu, and Tokoyami to be exact. Although it was during that time you really shined in his eyes, and he realized that he started liking you as more than just a friend. It was hard for him, at first, dealing with his crush on you. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, or think hes changed. You mean too much to him for him to lose you over feelings he didn’t realize he had. None of your other friends knew either, as you were his only confidant, so that made dealing with these feelings a bit harder. However, unbeknownst to you and Shinso, Jiro and Ochaco managed to connect the dots pretty quickly, which then hatched into the matchmaking plan of the century, or at least, for your friendgroup. The plan wasn’t to elaborate, it was mostly just to catch you both talking to eachother standing towards eachother, and they’ll both just accidentally bump you into him, so he’ll have to catch you and you’ll have to hug for the first time. The others didn’t really like the idea, but they couldn’t think of anything better, so they went through with the plan the very next chance they had. 

So maybe I will talk to you The only way I know how to Mhm, I've said my speech Mhm, through sharpened teeth You break the rules and spikes grow from your skin Oh, I think it might be worth a try

The very next day, you and Shinso are standing outside of school having a brief chat while you wait for your other friends to catch up. It was a normal ritual for the group to go home together after school since the only other time everyone saw eachother was in passing or at lunch. Today, however, You happened to have had your back to the school doors, and Shinso was so invested in what you were rambling about that he didn’t even notice your small group of friends making their way towards you. Just a moment later you let out a yelp of shock as you went falling into your best friends arms causing you both to blush like crazy. Both Jiro and Ochaco apologized for their “clumsyness” and stated that they were just excited due to a good day at school and that they “couldn’t wait to tell you what happened”. You both laughed it off, although could hardly look at eachother without getting flustered after that. Especially you because in all this time, you had never noticed how strong shinso had gotten since the sports festival. The plan, as expected, didn’t go quite as your friends had hoped, but it did confirm to them that there were definitely feelings present. This time, as a group, they decided to just confront you both individually and hype you up so that you could confess to one another.

Oh, am I ready to let this die? Mhm, a monster's here Mhm, you plug your ears But hey, you might just listen to it sing Please let the devil in

Luckily for the group, you all had the next day off from school, it being a weekend and all. Jiro, Tsu, and Ochaco decided to go to your house, and they managed to talk Deku and Tokoyami into going to shinso’s for this plan. At first Shinso was a bit confused but decided to go along with it anyways. You seemed to cherish these friends, so what was the harm in getting to know them better? The next few hours ended up being quite the wild ride. When first confronted by both parties, your feelings were adamantly denied for the other, and then denial hit as there was no way your crush liked you back. The girls stated that he was never as interested in them as he was in you, and the guys stated that just because youre comfortable with them doesn’t mean you don’t look at them differently than the way you look at Shinso. Eventually, denial led to hope, and the “proof” led to a peptalk. Next thing you knew, you and shinso were planning on when to hang out, leaving out a key secret as to why you wanted to see eachother in the first place, leaving the other to think that you were just gonna hang out as friends, per usual. 

We won't eat our words They don't taste so good

You dressed up a bit, as did he. You both wanted to look your best for the upcoming confession you both would be making to eachother. You knew Shinso didn’t really care for looks, but you did your best anyways, wanting to look nice for him anyways. He left a bit early to get a small bouquet of your favorite flowers. He figured that even if it didn’t go well, it would still be a nice gesture. Time flew by faster than you expected as you both got ready, and the next thing you knew you both were standing in front of eachother outside of the local small coffeeshop. You greeted eachother with small compliments, and Shinso brandished the flowers, handing them to you a bit abruptly. It caught you off guard, but the small thank you that escaped your lips and the dusting of red across your cheeks told him he made the right call. You both go in, and he tells you to just pick a table and that he would order. Having been friends for a while, he knew what you wanted, and you trusted him to not disappoint. A few minutes later, and a few shy glances later, he was sitting across from you, flowers on the table next to the window, favorite coffees in hand. You had looked around, trying to gain some confidence when he gently grabs your hands. This caught your attention, and caused you to forget what you were about to say. He looked down at your hands as he started to gently play with them across the table sweetly, and he mumbled a confession. “Look, y/n, the last few months have been amazing-” before he could finish his sentence , he looks up at you to see your shocked expression. He shifts awkwardly in his seat, unsure how to read the gaze you had set upon him, but he decides to continue anyways, this time looking into your eyes. “I, just.. ahh.. I really like you, y/n.I know you probably don’t feel the same, but I just had to tell you. I hope this doesn’t run anything between us..” He states, and to his dismay you withdraw your hands, and take a sip of your drink, needing a moment to process what you just heard. 

Look, we know that I've seen this before High and mighty, at the top of your list Adoring every move, now my rank is sinking But we're both guilty of black or white thinking And through my red eyes, you look pale All of your scars are looking more like scales Two ugly creatures, two sinister preachers Blind to the past, like a couple of monsters Just a couple of monsters

You blink a few times, and place your drink back down, reaching out for his hands again, missing the feeling of his hands against yours. You look back up at him, giving him a small smile as he looks at you expectantly, “Thats actually why I wanted to see you today.. Shinso, I really like you too. You mean the world to me.” He pauses for a brief moment, just like you did just a moment prior. “So...Does that mean we’re dating now?” you giggled to yourself over his question, “If I didn’t know better, I would assume this is our first date~” He chuckled and shrugged, leaning in onto the table, “How would you feel if it was?” “I would be most delighted~”

[hydra-collector]

a sanders sides analysis of “far“

far, if you’re not aware (which honestly you probably werent) is an album by regina spektor (the same one as ‘one more time with feeling’ from logan’s playlist) and regina spektor has songs that work weirdly well with sanders sides so i’m going to give each song on the album a side. i might do this again with ‘what we saw from the cheap seats’ but its not as weirdly perfect as far.

this ended up being really long, so it’s under the cut.

the calculation: logan, no question. it’s basically about trying to 'calculate’ love from what they saw around them, mostly in media, because don’t understand it. they’re desperate to make it work, so they try again and again “beating their hearts against each other” and eventually, it sparks. intrulogical if you’d like someone to pair it with, since roman has all the romance with thomas.

eet: this one was more difficult, but i think its a lot of patton. after all, the summary on genius literally says “’Eet’ is a wistful, introspective song brimming with nostalgia. The overarching themes seem to be about a person’s development of morality through their experience in their childhood.” it connects a lot to ‘moving on’ in that respect, where thomas wishes he could go back to the times he remembered in patton’s room. if you don’t already know, eet is the backspace key on a typewriter, but since it actually prints letters, you can’t really go back. i also think the line “using your headphones to drown out your mind” is perfect for virgil. i think in “someone’s deciding whether or not to steal/he opens a window just to feel the chill/he hears that outside a small boy just started to cry/’cause it’s his turn, but his brother won’t let him try” janus could be the thief, trying to decide what thomas should take for himself, and obviously remus would be the brother that’s crying because he doesn’t get his turn to be listened to.

blue lips: janus or logan. part of it is kind of like an analysis of society, but it’s mostly about death and aging, which i think both of them will have thought about. the line “the pictures in his mind awoke/and began to breed” definitely reminds me of remus, intrusive thoughts and stuff. its preceded in one verse by “and no one saw and no one heard/they just followed lead” which i think could be about how thomas won’t let himself talk about remus’s thoughts, or janus’s lies, or even logan being tired of how thomas just tries to do everything everyone else does.

folding chair: roman, i think. part of it, patton, maybe. it’s hard to articulate exactly what i mean, but i think a lot of it has to do with being tired and lonely. i think maybe what i’m thinking with roman is that he’s been living so long one kind of way, but it’s not a happy kind of way. like he wants to do something (maybe flashbacks to ‘broadway here i come’ mayybe) or become a dark side, but he’s scared. “now i’ve been sitting on this abandoned beach for years/waiting for the salty water to cover up my ears/but every time the tide comes in to take me home/i get scared, and i’m sitting here alone.” i’m still not completely sure why this came off as roman to me, but maybe someone else would see it better. i don’t think it fits nearly as well as the other songs, but hey, i said i’d do all of them.

machine: janus or logan. kind of surprised it’s not a definite ‘logan,’ with its name, but it’s a lot about society and there’s a transition from “pre-war apartment” to “post-war apartment” which doesn’t fit logan very well at all. and rather than being ‘i am a machine,’ it’s “i’m hooked into machine.” i think that implies that the machine is society (forgive me if that doesn’t make much sense, genius doesn’t have much on this one) because we’re so intertwined, so connected to each other and functioning as a society, possibly how the government wants us to. some of the lyrics make me think it’s about some alternate universe, like “I collect my moments/into a correspondence/with a mightier power/who just lacks my perspective/and who lacks my organics/and who covets my defects,” which is the only reason i didn’t take logan out of the characters completely.

laughing with: janus, if he’s singing it sarcastically. i think he would be making fun of the people who ‘laugh at god.’ also the line “no one laughs at god on the day they realize/that the last sight they'll ever see is a pair of hateful eyes” which i think would’ve resonated very well with janus before svsr. not gonna say much else bc i can barely listen to the song as it is, much less analyze it.

human of the year: maybe also janus, but then again maybe moreso roman or patton. i say janus mostly because it has a very creepy vibe to go with the fictional award of “human of the year.” but roman or patton fits more with the receiver of the award. at least roman would probably give up anything to be deemed that great person, that hero.

two birds: anxceit babyyy. or roceit. it’s really weird because i can’t really tell whether virgil is leaving the wire or janus. the obvious option would be virgil, leaving for the light sides, but the subtler option is the callback. then again, i’m not sure if the one on the wire would change to roman or the general light sides if it was the callback. i also don’t think that virgil wanted janus to come with him, which doesn’t make sense for how the one bird would ask and the other would lie (hehe deceit) and say he was going to come. then again, that could just be a different interpretation of how virgil left the dark sides. in my opinion, though, roceit is much more fun. “i’ll believe it all:” roman. “i won’t let go of your hand:” janus. roman is lying to janus, he’s saying he wants to go to the wedding. janus is trying to just get him to go to the callback. roman’s tempted by it, tempted by how janus is treating him. the line “one more or one less, nobody’s worried” could maybe be janus trying to convince them that it doesn’t matter if they go to the wedding, that lee and mary lee won’t really care. anxceit’s also fun, though.

dance anthem of the 80′s: doesn’t really have a side that it fits in canon, but i think it’d be interesting to put it with patton in an AU. the character is peppy and innocent at first, but it descends into a more depressing tone. i also think the heteronormativity does it a favor in its context. again, it has nothing to do with canon, just thought it’d be cool in an AU.

genius next door: logan, or remus. this song hurts me every time i hear it, since i’ve started associating it with logan. it’s pretty much about this kid, the genius, who’s presumably depressed and goes into the lake each night, holding his breath until he comes back up. this ends up being a bad idea, because at one point he holds his breath too long, and dies in the lake. mostly as i’ve thought about it, i’ve considered logan, but honestly it kind of fits remus better, like how he “didn't care as long as he was able/to strip his clothes off by the dumpsters/at night while everyone was sleeping/and wade midway into that porridge/just him and his secret he was keeping” (the porridge is the lake.) in addition to that, they describe his death as “and the genius next door was sleeping/dreaming that the antidote was orgasm.” sorry for y’all having to catch me referencing other songs, but in the mountain goat’s “amy aka spent gladiator 1″ he says “do every stupid thing that makes you feel alive/do every stupid thing to try to drive the dark away” (which i think is also a very remus song) so he’s describing how it feels good to risk your life. the adrenaline will make you “feel alive,” which is probably why the kid in the song did it (which i saw in the comments someone compared to being the ‘orgasm.’) and while this is not a good idea, considering what happened to the genius next door, i do think it’s a very remus thing to do if he was depressed.

wallet: patton. it’s a very cute song, and it’s pretty much just about how the singer found a wallet, looked at it a little, then returned it to the owner. the singer says “i have no wallet/i keep my cards together with a blue rubber band” and i think that would be something patton does. “you'll never know me/i'll never know you/but you'll be so happy/when they call you up” is probably how patton would feel returning it. finally, something not depressing.

one more time with feeling: i don’t need to choose a side for this one, it’s already logan. i do want to share my thoughts on it, though, ‘cause it seems i disagree with a couple people (plus i didn’t analyze his playlist so i haven’t said anything about it before.) “everyone takes turns/now it's yours to play the part.” he’s supposed to help thomas, as he did in dwit and tried to in svsr. “and the misery inside their eyes is synchronized and reflecting it to yours.” they didn’t listen, though, in svsr and it took half an hour in dwit. for the chorus, “hold on/one more time with feeling/try it again, breathing's just a rhythm/say it in your mind until you know that the words are right/this is why we fight,” i think maybe he’s trying to be interesting to them. to just get through it, and practice and practice until he has the words that they’ll like. that’s just my little hc, though. “you thought by now you'd be/so much better than you are/you thought by now they'd see/that you had come so far.” these lines hit the hardest for me. remember how logan was in the beginning? especially in moving on, he seemed to have no compassion for thomas’s feelings. but hasn’t he gotten better? i think he’s trying to be better to them, to be kinder about emotional problems. and he has come far, but not as far as he would’ve liked, especially considering that he hasn’t seen them appreciate it. he was hoping that they’d notice, that they’d be glad he was doing better. that they’d be proud of him. but they aren’t. they just disregard him even more, unable to forget about who he was, unable to consider how far he’d come (maybe projecting a little.) i also think that the “this is why we fight” could be him talking about how because they don’t listen, he’s exhausted from getting angry at them each episode, and they get annoyed but their ignorance is why they fight.

as a whole, i think he’s just trying again, and again, and again, and i thought, maybe he’s trying with feeling. like, he’s trying to feel for them, trying to care. maybe it has to do with what he did in svsr, where he hinted at his feelings, how he felt like they didn’t care. and they didn’t say a thing. they only could’ve reinforced the idea that even though they’ve tried to tell him that he feels, they don’t care. i went on a whole rant about patton, roman, and thomas in svsr and i could again, but that’s not related to the song.

man of a thousand faces: roman, loosely. at first i was like “man of a thousand faces?!?! janus?!?” but it actually barely fits him at all. it might actually be about drugs, but we’ll ignore that. “his words are quiet like stains are/on a tablecloth washed in a river/stains that are trying to cover for each other/or at least blend in with the pattern” could represent his mistakes, his ideas, maybe stuff that didn’t turn out. and maybe the better ideas will cover up his mistakes. “good is better than perfect.” it could be that his perfectionism is driving him insane, and he needs to start reminding himself that it’s better if he starts reaching for at least just good. “and i’m crying for things that/i tell others to do without crying” is such a roman line i...

anyway that’s the album. if you read through this i’m... impressed.

[conchstellations]

watching the 1990 LOTF movie!! my reactions:

hello all!!!! i was bored at midnight again so here it is: me watchin the 1990 movie, for the first time, hell yeah!!!!! here we go!!! its got the other movie to live up to, so im excited for a comedy lmao!! tl;dr at end if u want!!! its kinda long btw lmao

- castle rock entertainment??? piggy u better watch out bro

- fuck is that the pilot???

- k this isnt a big thing but why are they in water? the plane left a scar in the earth, they were on land.

- okay, again, me nitpicking. but idk, to me, they dont look 12?? maybe its just cause theyre all dressed up n that but they dont look like 12 yr olds to me like the last movie

- why tf does ralph (?) have a glowstick lmaooooo

- why are they all together. where is my conch. wher are my stupid ass choir outfits. maybe im not there yet and they have them, but i want my stupid cloaks!!! jack would not stand for this!!!

- why TF is the pilot alive???

- am i supposed to know whos who by now?? did i just miss that?? which ones ralph? which ones jack?? wheres simon???

- conch??? the conchs main job is to bring them together, and here theyre already together so???

- piggy already makin me love him gosh piggy is child

- okay so im guessing brown hair kid is ralph

- piggy protecting conch rights

- i do like piggys sass... very iconic

- okay whAT??? is that blonde kid supposed to be jack?? first off, jack has red hair. second off, there is no way in hELL THAT MY basTARD child jack merridew would let ralph win the election just like that??? wheres my choir??? wheres my c sharp???

- okay jack would for sure call piggy shitbrain nvm

- mY CHOIR WOULD NOT ACCEPT THAT SINGING. 

- wheres simon????

- r they fuckin cookin lizards??? nvm look away simon pls dont be in this

- is thAT BITCH supposed to be Simon?? hes got a lot to look up to. also why the FUCK is the adult alive. taht ruins the whole purpose of the entire book

- was that a dream??? sorry im dumb af lmao

- alrght simon is kind of an adorable hild and he likes lizard maybe hes valid?

- idk.. for some reason this ralph isnt like, giving me ralph vibes?? hes just not bring like ralphish u know??

- now im getting a little bit more of our beloved lil bitch ralph..

- okay wtf is going on lmao

- “SHOVE THEIR DICK IN THE CONCH” had me laughing for a solid fucking 30 minutes. william golding who??? whoever wrote that line is the new icon

- ‘EAT SHIT AND DIE”  okay wtffff im so confused but also vv entertained

- for some reason jack’s character is like 100% off, but also somehow 100% on point “thats exactly what i meant” like holy shit. like idk hes not jack but just sometimes he radiates “jack if he was allowed to swear and was less of a lil bitch” energy

- ok simon and lizard?? valid

- i swear to FUCKING GOD i will kill that child!!!

- im gonna cry. wtf. why would you kill his lizard. even this movie’s jack seems like he thinks thats fucked up and hes a psychopath. also, lemme say, at this point, i think most of the book characters would beat the shit out of someone if they were mean to simon like that, bc the choir were his friends, and ralphs tribe respected him, sooooo

- why tf is it simons job to take care of the adult that shouldnt even be there? liek wtf hes grieving asshole

- no fucking duh hes scared of everyone but simon i would be too 

- honestly kinda glad they let ralph say fuck he deserved it

- “back off man im sick of ur shit and sos my gang” fuckin got em

- let me guess pilot dude is the new beast???

- honestly wtf is goin on lmao

- okay piggys actor actually made me sd when he was crying about his glasses so good job

- simon comin through with the glowstick. also, good job simon

- well at least the lord of the flies looks terrifying as always

- are samneric putting on warpaint this early?? bc i WILL NOT stand for that shit. i am a samneric STAN Ok??? they were two of the tHREE left when simon died who didnt become cowards and go savage. they wree LOYAL to ralph until they were LITERALLY tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then they helped ralph!!!! so fuck u. samneric are better than that.

- oh simon :(

- im glad they actually kind of (?) shwed simon like with the pig head bc last movei it was just ike them flipping the camera from pig to si so idkk

- ok that was a pretty ralph move to bring up the fire 24/7 lmao

- piggytits?? tf

- simon with hus fuckin glowstick lmao

- awe, simon

- okay HOLY SHIT. the sounds of what i assume to be them fucking stabbing simon are horrific. and then that cut to simon’s fucking mutiliated corpse?? holy SHIT. like as much as im complaining, thats the gruesome shit i expect from this book. i was expecting them to shy away from it bc its so awful, but im SO glad they didnt, bc that gave me fuckin chills. finally, something i can praise them on. thats the lord of the flies i expect. 

- i feel bad for ralph.. good job

- ok good. samneric came back. good job again.

- ok. nvm. the disrespect to my loyal children. alright.

- okay that child screaming as hes being whipped?? wtf.

- ok that line of piggy being scared that the russians will take them nad make them go into the olympics? gold. 

- piggys laugh is so pure

- why the fuCK are they finding instruments lmao

- poor piggy

- did roger just wolf whistle at ralph what the fuck is going on

- holy SHIt this movie does not hold back on the blood. but, wheres my conch explosion?? if ur gonna show him getting hit u gotta show the conch exploding. although, the conch means like nothing in this movie lmao

- okay wow piggys dead body cool cool cool

- ralph fucking YEETED that kid to the ground lmao

- okay, ralph crying?? good acting

tl;dr/conclusion/my thoughts: hooooo boy so i see why everyone likes 1960 one better. 

first, lets start with the obvious: why this isnt lord of the flies. because its not. if this wasnt telling me that its lord of the flies, i would think of it as that, really. first off, the conch. the conch represents civility, it brings them together. its important. when piggy dies, it dies, representing how all civility is now gone. i maybe saw the conch three times this movie. didnt do anything.

second, the pilot, captain whatever. the point of the beast to me is that they made it up. sure, the corpse was real, but it didnt pose a threat, it was simply a corpse. they made it into what it was, therefore proving that they are the beast. sure, the pilot here was harmless, but he grbbed a boy’s foot and was therefore making himself a possible threat. maybe its not a big deal i guess.

third, the characters. the point of lord of the flies is that they are rich kids who havent gone through anything. theyre the perfect, spoiled kids who havent done anything wrong. half of them are in choir. chOIR. in this movie, lets take jack for example. they said he stole  a car and got sent to military school. no. the point of jack is that he was a perfect kid. leader of choir. he was manipulitive and got even ADULTS to trust him. its part of hs character, showing that this perfect choir leader kid went fucking insane to prove how literally everyone can be evil. also samneric???? the direspect!! they were loyal to ralph until they were tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then, after roger like beat the shit out of them, they were STILL loyal. fuck you.

so those are the MAIN reasons why it wasnt lotf. 

now, what i liked i guess.

the swearing was NOT lotf, and it didnt fit with the story, but ill admit that i laughed, so i guess thats a plus.

second, i liked how they showed the gore, i guess? sounds weird, hear me out. lord of the flies is a gruesome, violent, awful book. theres descriptions of death in detail, and im so glad they showed it. when simon’s body was there, literally torn to shreds? the shock of it, the true savagery you see that these boys murdered him SO violently, is amazing, because thats the essence of lotf. simons death shows how theyve lost all their civility, and showing such a gruesome corpse really brings that through. so good job.

and now, of course, the obvious: thats not the characters i pictured when i read the story. simon doesnt look like that, ralph doesnt look like that, jack doesnt look like that.

 where did the choir go, too? forgot to mention that, and i think that also adds into the whole, theyre supposed to be perfect kids and then become savage thing. also, the choir was a group. they voted for jack and went with him for a reason. 

so yea, thats that. dont know why people would read this lmao but thats my thoughts!!!! i just need to keep myself busy when i watch movies and to make sure i focused, i figured id just write down my thoughts as i went. if u wanna watch for free, look up lord of the flies 1990 google drive. 

;)))) and yea im posting this at 230 am lmao why not

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Sweet Pea//Big Fun

March 1st 2019. Dear Diary, which is just my inner monologue as I walk to school. I believe I’m a good person. You know, there’s good in everyone, and here we are! I was asked by Kevin to help him with his new musical. Heathers! Hence this format of inner monologue. I thought I’d get in the mood. Anyway, today is the first day of rehearsal! And well, I’m nervous. I looked at the cast list and saw that Sweet Pea was JD, perfect casting by the way. Well done Kevin. Anyway, I have liked Sweet Pea since the students from Southside High were transferred, however as I arrive with ten minutes to spare and look around the other kids that I’ve known all my life. I realize, none of them know me. So how’s he going to? What happened. 

“Freak!” A footballer shouts at someone. 

“Slut!” Another one shouts at someone on the River Vixens. 

“Burnout!” Is heard from the end of the corridor, quickly followed by...

“Bug-eyes.” 

“What kind of insult is that?” I mumbled and get bumped into. 

“Poser.” Is heard from a classroom, but I’m pretty sure that was from a teacher. 

“Lard-ass.” Yep, definitely a teacher. 

Thinking back, I remember how tiny we were. So happy and shiny. Me and Archie would play tag, and I remember he would do anything not to get chased. 

“Freak! Slut! Loser!” They are thrown around like people’s actual names and you can’t help but shake your head. 

Singing and clapping. Laughing and napping. Baking cookies, eating paste. It was mainly Reggie who would eat the glue paste. 

“Stuck up!” Your thoughts are interrupted when you realize that you’ve walked in on somebody’s argument. But like everybody else, they don’t notice you and just continue to argue. 

Then we got bigger, that was the trigger. 

“Sorry.” You apologize when you bump into someone. 

“Get the fuck out of my way.” They reply and push past you. 

Welcome to my school, this ain’t no high school. This is the Thunder-dome. Just hold your breath Y/n and count the days. Graduation is soon. College will be paradise, if I’m not dead by June.

“Trailer park trash!” A footballer shouts. 

“Shut the fuck up!” A familiar voice shouts back and you look up. Sweet Pea is stood just in front of you looking angry as normal. 

But I know, I know, life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray, for a better way. If we changed back then, we could change again. We can be beautiful...

“Ow!” Fangs complains after being pushed over. 

“Just not today.” You sigh. 

“Y/n!” Evelyn interrupts your thoughts. 

“Yeah?” You asked. 

“Kevin told me to haul your ass to the auditorium.” 

“Sure.” You smiled and linked with her. She may be weird but Evelyn seemed nice enough, and she was the only person who seemed to actually notice you, apart from Kevin.  You made your way to the auditorium with Evelyn, who was rambling beside you. Once you got there, the main cast was already seated and waiting so you decided you would sit next to Evelyn. Kevin smiled at you before diverting his attention to the group. 

“Greeting Heathers family.” He started. “Before we start today, there’s been a slight change to our creative team. You all know Evelyn Evernever has been helping me produce the musical.” He smiled at her and everyone sighed. “But I’ve also asked Evelyn to step up and be my co-director.” He finished and everyone looked at each other confused. She stood up, and walked towards the front, stopping beside Kevin. 

“Yay.” She laughed slightly. “So fun!” 

“What? Kevin. No you always direct the musical alone.” Betty argued. 

“Which has been incredibly stressful, Betty. Especially after last year’s events.” 

“Can we just not talk about Midge, please?” Fangs asked and Kevin nodded. 

“Good idea. Let me introduce someone else. Everyone, this is Y/n.” He pointed at you and you waved awkwardly. “She’s helping me plan and sort of direct. She’s a fan of Heathers so she’s here to help you with any questions or stage directions. Stuff like that. Now, how about we do a rundown of everybody’s parts, catch Evelyn and Y/n up to speed?” 

“I’m playing Veronica Sawyer.” Josie started with a smile. “Outcast, turned Heather, turned outcast again.” 

“Hi, I’m Sweet Pea.” He introduced himself and you felt your heart skip a beat. “Um, I’m playing JD, Veronica Sawyers bad-boy love interest.” He sighed. 

“Reggie Mantle” Reggie interrupted. “Aka, jock Ram Sweeney. Gonna bro it up with my bud Arch, here. Just two single straight dudes, doing some theater.” He grabbed Archie and you and Sweet Pea rolled your eyes. Archie and Josie looked at each other awkwardly before looking at Kevin again. 

“Given how much dancing there is in Heathers, Evelyn and I felt we should bring on a choreographer, so, give a big Heathers hello to Riverdale’s resident Fly Girl, Toni Topaz!” Everyone but Cheryl clapped.  

“Um, does anyone have a chainsaw? Because what the...” 

“Cheryl!” Kevin interrupted. “I know you’s two have some issues right now but I really want this to work so please don’t start anything.” Kevin pleaded and she glared at Toni. 

“Fine!” She agreed. 

“Great. Lets run Candy Store! Y/n! You wanna help.” He asked and you nodded. 

It was the end of the rehearsal and nothing had gone that well. Cheryl and Toni went rouge causing Kevin to have a breakdown. 

“Everyone stop! None of you are listening to Y/n. She’s here to help. She knows what you have to do. You have to listen to her.” 

“No offense, but nobody really knows who she is.” Reggie replied. 

“How is that not offensive?” Sweet Pea asked. 

“I know a way we can get to know her better.” Cheryl smiled deviously. 

“What are you doing?” Veronica asked. 

“I’m in the mood for chaos. Time to go back to the better version of me. Before my heart was broken.” She replied, before Veronica or Betty could say anything Cheryl had already stepped towards you. “Come to the party tonight.” Cheryl smiled at you. 

“Me?” You asked. 

“Of course. You’re one of us now.” 

“Oh-” 

“Cheryl, do you really think this is a good idea?” Josie interrupted you. 

“Of course. Now back off. She’s one of us isn’t she? Why wouldn’t she come?” She asked rhetorically and everyone looked around. “So its settled. Bring alcohol.” She told you before walking away, Betty and Veronica following her quickly. You looked around confused, you were never invited to parties, to be honest nobody knew you existed until this musical. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You could hear the music from the party down the street so you were not looking forward to how loud it would be when you actually got to party. However you pushed that to the side, you were gonna have fun tonight, so you looked at the sparkling cider in your hand (it was the only thing you could find in the house) and walked into the house, to see that half of the people were already drunk. 

“My dad says I have to act my age.” Reggie complained as you walked past him. 

“You heard the man. It’s time to rage!” Archie replied and Reggie cheered. Hugging him drunkly before making their way over to the stereo. 

“Blast the bass!” A footballer shouted and Archie turned the music up. You were’t entirely sure if it could have gone any louder. Maybe this was a bad idea, you don’t fit in here. 

“Maybe I should just go home.” You mumbled and started to walk out of the living room.  

“Y/n! Turn out the light!” Archie shouted and you stopped, looking at him confused. He motioned to the light switch behind you and you flipped it off, leaving the room lit by cheap disco lights. 

“Ain’t nobody home tonight!” Reggie shouted and everyone cheered, holding their drinks up. 

“Can we smoke in here?” Fangs asked. 

“Drink, smoke, it’s all cool.” He replied. “Hey! Veronica. Lets get naked in my pool!” He made his way over to Veronica, bumping into Sweet Pea. Holy shit, Sweet Pea’s here. Like actually here, at a party, with you. 

“What the fuck dude?” Sweet Pea asked, looking down at his beer stained shirt. 

“Sorry.” Reggie slurred. “Didn’t see you there.” 

“How can you not see me?” Sweet Pea asked.

“I said I’m sorry man. Shut up.” He argued and Sweet Pea lunged at him. 

“Punch a wall Sweet Pea.” Josie shouted and he glared at her. 

“Oooo. Or start a fight!” Cheryl added. “Ain’t nobody home tonight!” 

“Josie. Reggie’s folks have a waterbed. Why don’t we go upstairs, rest your head.” He winked and Josie rolled her eyes. Reggie wrapped an arm around you and smiled. 

“Lets rub each other’s backs. While watching porn on Cinemax! Wait, sorry, you’re not Veronica.” 

“Yeah. I know.” You replied and shrugged him off you. 

“Who are you again? Actually doesn’t matter. I see Veronica!” He replied and wandered away. 

“The folks are gone!” Archie shouted, talking a break from making out with Josie. 

“Its time for big fun!” Everyone shouted. 

“Big fun?” You questioned. 

“We’re up till dawn!” Kevin cheered. 

“Having some big fun!” Fangs replied. 

“What the hell is big fun?” 

“When mom and dad forget...” Archie shouted. 

“To lock the liquor cabinet!” Cheryl interrupted and held up vodka bottles. 

“Its big fun!”

“Big fun?” You decided you would see what was going on in the kitchen because everyone in the living room was acting weird. However, there wasn’t much of a difference between the two rooms. 

“Ok, ok, ok, So its salt, and then lime, and then shot?” Evelyn asked. 

“No, its, salt, and then-” Veronica started. 

“You’re doing it wrong!” Cheryl interrupted, pushing past you. 

“Really? Cause I feel great.” She replied. 

“Yes. You dimwit.” She rolled her eyes. “Come on girls.” She pulled them out the kitchen, and you moved out of their way. Standing in the kitchen, alone, you took a deep breath. 

“Y/n. You are looking good tonight!” Sweet Pea complimented and you blushed. 

“Whoa.” You mumbled. 

“Can you pass me that beer please?” He asked. 

“Yeah. Sure.” You replied nervously and handed him it. He nodded at you before walking out, leaving you alone again. 

“A hot guy smiled at me. Without a trace of mockery!” You squealed excitedly, your nerves disappearing.  

“Oh hey Y/n.” Betty smiled at you. “I didn’t think you’d come.” She said and you shrugged. “Everyone’s high as a kite.” She complained. 

“Ain’t nobody home tonight.” Reggie interrupted and reached around her to get a drink. She rolled her eyes at him and he winked before leaving. 

“Stoned?” You asked. 

“Zoned.” She replied. 

“Maybe I should quit. I should go home.” 

“Hey, is that weed. I want a hit!” Kevin shouted from the living room. Betty groaned before walking into the living room. You decided to follow her to see what was happening, and you were not disappointed. 

“Fill that joint.” People chanted quietly. Fuck it, you thought. 

“And roll it tight!” You added. “Ain’t nobody home tonight!” You shouted and everyone cheered for what must have been the thousandth time. You looked around the room and saw Sweet Pea smiling at you. “Dreams are coming true. When people laugh but not at you. I’m not alone! I’m not afraid! I feel like Bono at LiveAid!” You said happily. 

“Huh?” Betty asked. 

“Nothing.” You shook your head. “The house is ours!” You changed the subject. 

“Its time for big fun!”

“Big fun!” You repeated. 

“Lets use their showers!” Archie suggested. 

“Why?” Betty asked. 

“Because you can fit loads of people in them.” 

“That sound like big fun!” Josie replied. Out the corner of your eye you could see Sweet Pea sigh, and look at the floor. 

“Big fun!” Fangs shouted. 

“What?” Cheryl asked. 

“Big fun!” 

“Crack open one more case!” Reggie shouted and pointed to where the beer was, however you were slightly put off them when you saw Archie and Josie practically dry humping on them. 

“I think thats what they call third base.” You mumbled. 

“Excuse me.” Sweet Pea squeezed past you. 

“Big fun!” 

“Big fun!” 

“Big fun!” People cheered as you made your way out of the house, narrowly avoiding a girl vomiting. 

“Alright, people, listen up. What is Riverdale High gonna do to Greendale High at Sundays game?” Archie shouted. 

“Gonna make ‘em go whee! Whee! Whee! Whee!” Reggie replied. 

“That doesn’t even make any sense.” Cheryl rolled her eyes. 

“Big fun!” He shouted back. 

“Big fun!” She repeated. 

Sweet Pea was sat on the curb when you found him. You sat beside him and he sighed. 

“Way to show maturity.” He sighed. 

“Huh?” You asked. 

“I said I wouldn’t get that upset about Josie and Archie and now I’m sat on the curb outside a northsiders party with someone that I don’t even know.” He complained and you winced at his use of words. 

“Were you not having big fun?” You asked with a smile. 

“Big fun.” He replied sarcastically. 

“Quit it jackass. Get off of me!” You heard Josie shout from inside, a few seconds later Archie ran out looking angry. 

“Its your fault she doesn’t want to be my girlfriend!” He shouted and you and Sweet Pea stood up. 

“What the fuck. Calm down.” You tried to reason. 

“Who even are you?” He asked. 

“Hey! Leave her alone.” Sweet Pea defended making you smile slightly. 

“This is not big fun.” You mumbled. Archie was starting to shout and you could tell Sweet Pea was trying not to punch him in the face. “Yo! Archie! Emergency! I just saw some Ghoulies sneaking over the pool fence!” He stopped ranting and looked at you before turning around. 

“I hate Ghoulies! Where are you little pricks! I’m coming for you!” He shouted as he ran to the backyard. 

“Hey, are you okay?” You asked and placed a hand on Sweet Pea’s shoulder. 

“I didn’t need your help.” He mumbled before storming back inside, you quickly followed him. 

“Aw, thanks, Evelyn, but I don’t really have to vomit right now.” Kevin said kindly and gave her a pill back. 

“The party’s hot, hot, hot!” Veronica shouted. 

“Its time for big fun!” 

“I’m sick of hearing the words big fun.” You grumbled and pushed past them so you could get to the living room. 

“You need a jello shot!” Sweet Pea said now much happier and wrapped an arm around you. You were worried about how much alcohol he had downed. 

“Thanks.” You smiled and took it off him. 

“We’re having big fun!” He shouted. 

“Big fun! I think we should take you to see Fangs.” You told him and started to pull him into the living room. 

“Toni Topaz, in the flesh.” Cheryl noticed. “Here comes the cootie squad.”

“We should-” 

“Shut up Betty!” 

“Sorry Cheryl!” 

“Look who’s with her.” Veronica pointed. “Oh my god! I can’t believe you actually came.”

“You brought her?” Cheryl asked Toni, and pointed at you. 

“What?” You both replied. 

“I’ve been here for ages. I’m getting Sweet Pea some water.” 

“Likely story. Showing up here took some guts. Time to rip them out.” She walked towards you and you backed up. “Nobody knows who you are, or what you’re actually doing here. If it wasn’t for Kevin you would still be unknown to us.” She continued and you looked at Sweet Pea. Everyone was staring at you and you wished you never agreed to come. “Oh. I get it. You like Sweet Pea? You think because Josie doesn’t want him, he might want you. How Sweet. But guess what. He’s a main part, and you’re just helping Kevin because you’ve seen Heathers too many times. Let me guess, you came here because you wanted to feel like you were apart of something. But guess what, if this was Heathers, you would definitely be Martha Dumptruck. A nobody, who wants to be like the popular people, but fails.” She finished, tears were flowing down your face and she smiled evilly at you. “But lets have some big fun.” You ran out. “See you on Monday!”  

“What the fuck was that?” Sweet Pea asked, now slightly more sober. “You do know this isn’t actually Heathers. we’re doing a school musical and you’re not actually Heather Chandler. You’re Cheryl Blossom, and she would never had been that cruel.” He shook his head and pushed past her. 

“Not cool Cheryl.” Betty added and everyone else agreed. 

“What’s your damage?” She asked angrily before storming out. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few hours had passed since you left the party and you couldn’t help but think about what Cheryl had said. She was right, you were the Martha Dumptruck even though she was a great character, but that was besides your point. You decided you would go for a walk to clear your head, and reflect on the last 30ish hours of freedom until you have to go back to school and face everyone. 

“The demon queen of high school has decreed it. She says Monday, 8am, I’ll be deleted.” You sighed. “They’ll hunt me down in study hall, stuff and mount me on the wall. 30ish hours to live how shall I spend them? I don’t have to stay and die like cattle. I suppose I could change my name and ride up to Seattle, but thats a lot of hassle and I don’t own a motorbike, or car, or any mode of transport.” You sighed, stopping outside Reggie’s house. 

The party was dying down but you could tell there was a few people still in there. You wondered if Sweet Pea was still there, and what had happened when you left. You and Sweet Pea had somewhat bonded during the rehearsal, however you were nervous about having to walk him through dead girl walking. You weren’t opposed to dry humping him but you would much rather do it in a bed than on stage in front of your classmates. You were pulled out of your thoughts when you phone buzzed. 

hi, this is sweet pea. i got you’re number from betty, are you okay? what cheryl said was out of line. do you wanna come over? i enjoyed talking to you today and i think we could both benefit from talking to each other again. 

You read and re-read the text over and over again. Holy fucking shit. He wants to see you! Fuck. Right. Okay. Calm down.  

Yeah! You replied and made your way to the trailer park. 

Trailer 17 :) He text back and you had to stop yourself from running. You got to the trailer park in record time and approached his trailer. However, you could see someone standing outside one of his windows. 

“I need it hard. I’m a dead girl walking.” They muttered to themselves. “Sweet Pea, I’m in your yard, I’m literally a dead girl walking.” 

Was that Josie? You wondered to yourself. 

“Before they, well Archie punches my clock, I’m snapping off your window lock. I’ve got no time to knock I’m a dead girl walking.” She opened the window and climbed in. Slowly you walked towards the door. 

“Josie? What are you doing in my room?” Sweet Pea asked confused.

“Shh.” She shushed him. “Sorry, but I really had to wake you.” 

“I’ve kinda got someone coming over.” He replied. 

“See, I decided I must ride you till I break you.” 

“Oh.” You and Sweet Pea said at the same. “Did you hear that?” Sweet Pea asked and tried to look out the window. Josie grabbed his face, so he was looking at her. 

“Archie says I gots to go. You’re my last meal on death row.” 

“Thats why you’re here.” He replied. 

“Shut your mouth and lose them tighty-whities!” 

“Ha! Sweet Pea wears tighty-whities. Thats adorable.” You mumbled. 

“Come on Sweet Pea. Tonight I’m yours. I’m your dead girl walking. Get on all fours Sweet Pea, kiss this dead girl walking. Lets go.” She whined. “You know the drill. I’m hot...” 

“I’m pissed.” You mumbled angrily. 

“I’m on the pill. Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking.” 

“Josie. I’m supposed to be seeing someone.” He argued, but Josie cut him off by kissing him. He was surprised at first but then started to kiss back and you gasped. You turned and sat on the steps outside the trailer, wiping the tears from your face. 

“You know, you know, you know, its cause your beautiful. You say you’re numb inside, but I can’t agree.” You sighed. “So the worlds unfair.” You stood up and started to walk home. 

“Lets keep it locked out there. In here it’s beautiful. Lets make this beautiful.” Josie whispered in his ear. 

“That works for me.” Sweet Pea shrugged. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yeah! Full steam ahead! Take this dead girl walking.” You sat on top of Sweet Pea. 

Monday had rolled around but you had managed to avoid literally everyone. However that changed once you got to rehearsal. Sweet Pea and Josie had tried to rehearse Dead Girl Walking but it came across as very rigid so Kevin sent you in to show them how to do it. Much to your dismay. Sweet Pea did ask why you didn’t turn up on Friday night so you told him that when you got there he seemed preoccupied so you just left.

“How’d you find my address?” He asked. 

“Lets break the bed, rock this dead girl walking.”

“I think you tore my mattress!” 

“No sleep tonight for you. Better chug that Mountain Dew.” 

“Okay, okay.” 

“Wow.” Cheryl interrupted and you got off Sweet Pea. Sweet Pea stood up and held a hand out to you to help. 

“What are you doing here?” Kevin asked. “You’re not in this part.” 

“I thought I’d see how the two star crossed lovers are doing. Turns out its a different pair. How does it feel, this is the closest you’ll ever get to doing anything with him.” She asked and you ran off. 

“Cheryl! Why are you such a bitch?” Sweet Pea asked and Cheryl gasped. 

“Excuse me hobo.” She stepped towards him. 

“I know you and Toni broke up but thats got nothing to do with any of us, especially her. Just because you’re hurting doesn’t mean you have to take it out on any of us. Now get your head out of your ass and go talk to Toni.” He ranted before running after you. 

“Y/n!” He called after you and you turned around. “Come here.” He pulled you into a hug. “They made you cry, well Cheryl did. But that will end tonight.” He reassured you, and kissed your head. You cried harder against his chest and he hugged you tighter. “You are the only thing that’s right about this broken world.” He complimented and you pulled away, your watery eyes meeting his brown ones. “Go on and cry, but when the morning comes, well more like when they kick us out, we’ll burn it down and then rebuild this world again.” He continued and you looked at him confused. “You’re getting that this is a metaphor right? That the world is gonna change for you. Hopefully for me too.” He added sadly. 

“Are you okay?” You asked, seeing the tears in his eyes. 

“I was alone after Josie left, and then came back, and then left again, you get the picture. I was a frozen lake, again, thats a metaphor, but then you melted me awake. When I saw you in the auditorium while Kevin was introducing you, I just couldn’t take my eyes of you. I knew that you were something special and something that I needed in my life. Shit.” He laughed bitterly. “Now I’m crying too.” He said and you laughed. “You’re not alone.” His hand was cupping your cheek while the other was on your hip. He leaned in, kissing you sweetly and you felt every cliche in every movie/book ever. You pulled away and smiled. 

“You’re not alone.” You replied and leaned in to kiss him again. 

“Sweet Pea!” Josie interrupted and he pulled away from you quickly. 

“Yeah?” 

“Can we talk?” She asked. 

“Um. Sure?” He shrugged and looked at you. “Sorry.” He mumbled before following her out of the room, leaving you alone. Again. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Okay. Where’s Josie!” Kevin asked stressed. Everyone looked around and shrugged. 

“I dunno.” Evelyn replied. 

“We’re missing Kurt/Archie too.” You informed him and he groaned. 

“So. What are we gonna do?” Sweet Pea asked. “We can’t do this without Josie.” 

“You can’t seem to do anything without Josie.” You mumbled. 

“Are you still pissed at me?” He asked. 

“Yes! How could I not be! I thought you liked me, but as soon as Josie wants you, you drop everything. I actually thought I belonged to a group and that people were taking an interest in me but half of you still don’t know my name and the rest of you treat me like shit! I thought you were different Sweet Pea. But you’re just like them.” You cried and stormed off.

“Great. I’ve got no Veronica, I’ve got no Ram and I’ve got no help! Sweet Pea! Stop pissing people off!” Kevin shouted, making Sweet Pea storm off. “Great. Fucking great.” He muttered. 

“Y/n!” He called after you once more. 

“What? What do you want Sweet Pea? I’m sick of playing these stupid games.” 

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been so caught up in Josie that I completely forgot about what was right in front of me and I know that doesn’t make it any better, especially the way I treated you but I am really sorry. I’m just damaged. We all are. Please stop!”

“Fine!” You turned around angrily. “We’re ‘damaged’. Really ‘damaged’. But that does not make us ‘wise’. We’re not ‘special’, I’m certainly not. 

“Lets be normal, see bad movies. Sneak a beer and watch TV. We’ll bake brownies. Actually forget that, I’m a rubbish baker.” He said and you laughed, moving towards him. 

“We could go bowling? Don’t you want a life with me?” You asked. “Can’t we be seventeen?”

“Thats all I want to do. I know I haven’t been the best but if you could let me in, I could be good with you.” 

“People hurt us. You hurt me. Or they vanish.” 

“And you’re right, that really blows. But we let go, take a deep breath.” He smiled at you. 

“Then we’ll buy some summer clothes. We can go camping!” You said excitedly. 

“Play some poker.” He added and you raised your eyebrows. 

“And we’ll eat some chili fries. Although, I don’t think we could play poker in Pops.” 

“We’ll just go to the speakeasy.” He shrugged. “We could go to prom, maybe dancing.” 

“Don’t stop looking in my eyes.” You cupped his cheek. 

“Can’t we be seventeen?” You both asked the same time. 

“So what’s it gonna be? I wanna be with you.” Sweet Pea asked. 

“I wanna be with you.” 

“You’re loves too good to lose.” He pulled you closer, and kissed you. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

March 20th 2019. Dear diary/my inner monologue. Tonight is opening night. Three weeks ago Kevin asked me to help him with his production of Heathers, and three weeks ago my life changed. Cheryl apologized, begrudgingly after her and Toni got back together. And now I have a social life. I have also noticed that everyone has started to become kinder to each other which is a plus point! But the best thing to come out of this is-

“Babe? Are you okay?” Sweet Pea asked and kissed your cheek. 

“Yeah. Fine. How are you feeling?” 

“Good. Nervous though.” He admitted. 

“I brought you a rose. For good luck.” You smiled and gave him the rose. 

“Thank you baby.” He returned the smile and kissed you. 

“You’re gonna do great! You’ve got this.” 

“Well, I do have the best teacher.” He winked and you rolled your eyes. You pulled him towards you and kissed him roughly. After you pulled away he smirked at you. 

“What?” 

“You make my balls so blue.” 

“You’re so gross.” You pushed him away from you and he laughed loudly.  

“Only cast back here!” Kevin shouted. 

“I’m going!” You called back. “Good luck. You’re gonna kill it!”

Permanent Taglist: @mayaslifeinabox​ @thoseawkwardturtless​ @we--are--infinite--2 @serpentgirll​ @reblogserpent

[thicctransboi]

Almost- Chapter 4

"I don't know,Sam, I don't think I'm ready to meet the baby just yet." Grizz said to Sam as he slipped on his shoes.

Sam had proposed the idea to Grizz shortly after they began getting dressed. "Are you scared to? Or is it just nerves or something?" Sam asked.

Grizz sighed, "I don't know... She's your kid, Sam... It's still weird for me. I cant promise I wont walk out. It might just be too hard on me. Besides, does Becca even know about us yet?"

Sam shook his head. He couldn't help but feel guilty again when Grizz said, 'Your kid'. Sam wanted so badly just to tell Grizz the truth, but that wasn't his truth to tell.

"Why not?"

Sam shrugged, "I don't know, I didn't know If you were ready for people to know yet. It didn't feel like it was my place."

Grizz chuckled "Sam, we might die here. If I wasn't ready for people to know, I wouldn't have tried so hard to get with you in the first place. If we die here, I want people to know me for the real me, not just the me thy thought they knew." Grizz sighed, "Let's go to the hospital, I'm sure Becca is missing you."

Grizz was right, Becca had sent Sam at least 20 texts asking where he was, causing Sam and grizz to speed walk to the hospital. As they walked, a few people in town looked their way, causing Sam to feel nervous for some reason. Sam felt even more nervous as Grizz grabbed his hand, holding it as they walked. Approaching the hospital, Grizz felt his stomach quench; this was it, he was facing his fear: Becca and Sam's baby. Grizz had to hold himself back from getting emotional as they arrived in the maternity wing.

"There you are! Where have you been?" Becca practically screeched as Sam and Grizz rounded the corner. Then her eyes landed on Grizz. "Grizz! You're back! I heard the trip went well."

"Yeah.." Grizz said, his eyes traveling to the small child in Becca's arms. "Congratulations on the baby.. Sam told me you named her Eden, it's fitting." Grizz suddenly felt small despite being 6 foot 3.

Becca was beaming. "Thank you, wait, what are you doing here? No offense, I just didn't expect you to visit today considering you just got back and its- 2am."

Sam didn't even realize how late it had gotten. He answered for Grizz, "Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Grizz and I... well.. We've been seeing each other?" His response came out as more of a question than a statement.

Becca raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two boys in front of her, Grizz awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. "Since when? Grizz, you're gay?"

"Thanksgiving."

"Uh, yeah?"

Becca's eyes went wide, tossing a pillow weakly in Sam's direction. "That's where you were when I went into labor? With him?! Wait- You lost your virginity and didn't even tell me didn't you?! Sam, you were getting dicked down while I was in labor! That's why you weren't answering your phone!?"

Sam let out a sigh, meanwhile Grizz stood their wide eyed. "Should I go and leave you two to talk?" Grizz asked awkwardly.

"No, no, stay..." Sam said, singing slowly. "Becca, I'm sorry. It just kinda- happened."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have rathered me told you while you were in labor? 'Hey Becca, sorry I'm late, I know it's a bad time considering you're crowning, but me and Grizz just had sex and I really like him. That cool?'" Sam mocked.

Becca rolled her eyes.

Grizz felt his heart ache; they were perfect for each other, they even argued like a couple. No wonder they hooked up.

"You should have told me after, you know I would have been fine with it. I've been waiting for you to meet someone, though I thought you wouldn't considering our situation," Grizz was shocked to hear that comment, even more shocked when Becca said, "Grizz, come sit."

Grizz looked at Sam for help, Sam just smiled as Grizz slowly walked over to Becca and the baby, sitting down on the bed between her and Sam.

"Want to hold her?" Becca asked, giving Grizz a smile.

Grizz felt his heart rate increase, "No, no, I wouldn't want to intrude or anything. Aren't you mad? Like, you're okay with me and Sam?"

Becca laughed, "Of course I'm not mad! Sam's my best friend, I want him to be happy," She shot a smile towards Sam, "And how would you be intruding? You can be a part of this too, you know. I'll take all the help I can get. Here, take her, just mind her head."

Grizz was on the verge of having a panic attack, taking Eden into his arms carefully and making sure to keep her head elevated. The small child looked up at Grizz sleepily, causing Grizz to notice her stark blue eyes. They were Sam's eyes. It made his heart ache. But then, she wrapped her little hand around Grizz's thumb, making his heart swell, despite him knowing it was just a reflex. Something about holding her was oddly comforting, despite the circumstances In which she was brought into this world.

"She's beautiful." Grizz signed with one hand, not speaking, afraid his voice might fail him. He could feel it now, he was getting emotional and he wasn't prepared for them to see him that way, nor did he want Eden to feed off of him. Babies were weird like that. "Becca, take her... I need a minute."

Grizz bolted out of the room as quickly as he could.

Becca raised an eyebrow, turning to Sam with Eden in her arms. "Is he okay?"

Sam sighed, "He's been upset ever since he found out about her... That she's 'mine'. He's scared he's being a home wrecker."

Becca suddenly felt guilty herself, she knew that this wasn't fair to either Sam nor Grizz, but she couldn't find it in herself to tell either of them the truth of who the father really was. She knew it would break Sam's heart. "He'll get over it once he realizes we aren't like that together, right?"

"Becca, he needs to know the truth. This almost ruined us last time before he left, I can tell it bothers him.."

Becca shook her head, "No, Sam, I... I can't.. You can't. Please.."

***

Sam found Grizz outside of the hospital near the entrance, taking deep breaths as he leaned against the brick, his breath puffing out in clouds in front of him due to the cold. His face illuminated by the hospital sign.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked, approaching him slowly.

Grizz sighed, "She has your eyes, Sam... She looks just like Becca but with your eyes.. I can't- I can't do this."

Sam felt himself grow uneasy. He had never given it much thought, Eden's eyes. But now that he thought about it, she did have his eyes. But how?.... "Grizz- please... Don't- Don't leave. We just got back together, I can't loose you again."

Grizz sighed, watching as the air left his lungs, "How can I look at her, and not be reminded every day of the fact that she's yours? The fact that you'll never truly be mine? The fact that you slept with Becca and have a child with her? That I'll never be a part of it? I can't do that, Sam. It hurts too much. I just can't."

Sam sighed, in that moment he felt so conflicted between Eden having his eyes and wanting to tell Grizz the truth. But how would Grizz believe him now? Not now that he saw that Eden had blue eyes. How did she have his eyes?? "Grizz, you can be a part of this, Becca even said, she can use all of the help she can get. And, I am yours, I'm all yours if you want me to be... Becca and I.. We're not like that. We never have been, I told you. Please, don't let this get to you.. Please."

"She has your eyes! How can that not upset me?" Grizz yelled. "They're as blue as the damn sky in the summer time! Just like yours! Your eyes! The ones that I fell for! The ones I opened my soul up to! The ones-"

"They're not mine! Eden isn't mine!" Sam shouted, finally snapping. "I don't know how her eyes are blue, her real dad's must be! But I wouldn't know because I don't know who that is!" Sam was breathing heavily, his words hung in the air. He suddenly realized what he had just done. "Fuck! Don't tell Becca I told you..."

"Sam? Are you saying what I think you're saying? Why would you tell me that she was yours?" Grizz was stunned, suddenly no longer angry, more confused.

Sam sighed, "Becca and I agreed that that was what we would tell people when I agreed to help her out, we agreed that I would say I was the father... I don't know who the real dad is, she won't tell me. But I promised her that I would be a father to this child, Grizz. I promised I would live this lie as being her biological father to keep her secret. She's my best friend, Grizz, I had to. please understand, please don't tell her I told you..."

Grizz stood there in shock, not believing what he was hearing, “Sam… You lied to me.”

“I had to! I had no other choice! I promised her, and I ended up hurting you in the process. Fuck, I’m so sorry…” Sam was crying rather relentlessly now.

It took a lot, but Grizz couldn’t stand seeing Sam cry, letting out a sigh, he pulled him close, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy tightly. It’s okay.. We’ll figure this out.. I won’t tell her.”

“Thank you…”

[theworldofsisi]

Overdose Scene 3

Kim HimChan stared at the bowl of food sitting on the table in front of him longingly. He was hungry - no, starving was more like it. He wanted to eat, but couldn't bring himself to put his chopsticks in the food and bring it to his lips. He had gained weight, after all of the methods he had tried to keep it off. The visual member of B.A.P had struggled with body image issues his entire life - he had been a heavier kid and it had been hard for him to find cool clothes like other boys could wear while growing up, but despite not always being comfortable in his skin, he had never let it get him down.

That had been until he was about twenty years old and was scouted by TS Entertainment to be in a new boy band that the company was planning to debut the following January. The director, Tae-Sung, had told HimChan that he liked how Him sounded and thought that he had natural good looks, but the only problem was that at his weight he didn't fit in with the “boy band image.” Tae-Sung told Him that there was no way that he would do well on popularity polls on Naver if he didn't lose weight because no female fans would be interested in a heavy-set member.

Hearing that he was too heavy to ever be thought of as attractive destroyed any self-confidence that HimChan had in himself. Being insulted in that way made him feel angry and hurt, and for awhile, he used those emotions to fuel the binge diet that TS put him on so that he could lose enough weight before B.A.P's scheduled debut date. After a few months on the diet, HimChan's weight loss came to a halt and Tae-Sung realized that they were quickly running out of time.

Even though he never stated it directly, HimChan understood loud and clear that the director was implying that he wanted him to starve himself to make him lose weight faster. It started with HimChan eating small meals and doing things like skipping breakfast, eating half of a salad for lunch, and the other half of his salad for dinner. He did this for a few months and saw some results and the director seemed to be satisfied with his level of progress, but to HimChan, it wasn't enough. He wasn't doing enough - he still wasn't good enough.

HimChan purged for the first time after eating a full meal one night. He had over indulged in his favorite food, pasta, which was full of calories and fats. Feeling physically sick after realizing how much he had eaten, HimChan made himself throw up the food. At first, the experience is hard for him, but after doing it for a few more days, HimChan realized that he liked the way that it felt.

He was now able to eat anything he wanted without having to worry about gaining weight. This method of weight loss quickly proved to be far from full proof when after days of either starving himself completely or purging anything he ate, HimChan would become so hungry that the only thing that he could think of would be food. He would cave in and binge eat until he felt sick, then purge everything he had eaten, encasing him in a vicious and unhealthy cycle.

Eventually, HimChan lost enough weight to satisfy Tae-Sung, but even after reaching a weight that he felt at least okay at, he wasn't able to stop starving himself. Every time he began eating regularly, the company cautioned him against eating more than he needed to prevent him from gaining weight again.

With a sigh Him stuck his chopsticks in the noodles in front of him, grabbing some beef and vegetables along with them. He put the food in his mouth and chewed stiffly, not really tasting it. His stomach rumbled hungrily at the little bit of food, but HimChan quickly found himself feeling sick. That happened a lot when he ate - it wasn't that the bulimia made him puke. His body did that for him - it was as if it was used to not getting nutrients and immediately rejected what he ate. Despite mounting nausea, he ate another bite of food then another, continuing until he had eaten half of the bowl.

He dipped his chopsticks back in for another bite, but his stomach gave a lurch and he knew that he wasn't going to be able to keep the food down. It was in him slowly but surely adding to the weight that already wouldn't leave his body. The little bit of food moved uncomfortably in HimChan's stomach and he grimaced, knowing that he was going to give in. He couldn't deal with the nausea - if he just purged, it would be over quicker. Waiting the feeling out was torture that just wasn't worth it.

Him pushed his chair back from the table and stood up quickly, causing his head to swim mercilessly. With legs feeling like jelly, he rushed to the bathroom at the other end of the dorm, locking the door before sliding to his knees in front of the toilet. He laid his head against the closed lid, heart beating fast and desperately trying to calm down his erratic breathing. Without warning his stomach rebelled and he flipped the lid up, barely managing to lean his head over the bowl before his dinner made its reappearance.

He gagged and retched again, but nothing came up. He felt full like there was a ton of bricks in his stomach and not just half of a bowl of food he normally loved. The feeling was too much - he had eaten too much. He was going to get fat again, he wouldn't look good anymore if he didn't stay thin. B.A.P couldn't have a fat visual - it would ruin their reputation. That same damned reputation that was the reason that his entire ordeal had started.

The feeling of fullness didn't go away and Him couldn't take it anymore. With a shaking hand, he closed his eyes, refusing to look at the toilet as he shoved his fingers in his mouth, triggering his gag reflex. He vomited again, this time feeling a pleasant sensation of release as the fullness in his stomach began to evaporate.

He hated himself for thinking that it felt good - how could something like this ever be enjoyable? He was making himself sick to lose weight. That wasn't normal, he wasn't normal anymore. By this point he was a freak, right? Addicted to the feeling of being able to eat and not gain weight.

But that was a double-edged sword, wasn't it? Because in the end, this was always the final result. He couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed a full meal and kept it all down. It always came up one way or another, whether by his fingers or his own body rejecting food because it was so often starved.

The worst part was that even though he felt less full, he wasn't done. He still had too much in his body - it was like poison. Toxic, slowly killing him. He had to get it out, too. That only made it easier as he shoved his fingers deeper into his throat, instantly causing him to let out more.

He went on like this for a few more minutes, until he was dry heaving and his throat felt like sandpaper. The only thing he hated was the aftereffects of the acidic substance burning his throat. He had thrown up more than he usually did - he was sure that the leftover stomach acid coating his throat would leave painful sores that would make singing his lines hard, but he would just ignore the pain - it was his fault anyway.

HimChan didn't dare move from the floor as he still felt sick, but he heard a soft knock on the door and his heart stopped. Dammit, he hadn't thought of the other members in the dorm. He was an idiot - they had probably all heard him. They would know that he did this to himself, that he wasn't normal.

A moment later he heard a low voice on the other side of the door and recognized JongUp instantly. “Hyung, are you alright? I thought I heard someone throwing up.”

Still shaking, HimChan didn't answer but reached up and unlocked the door. He was terrified of being caught, but maybe just maybe he could play it off as the stomach flu or food poisoning. He hated the thought of lying to his naive dongsaeng, but the truth would hurt more than the lie.

The door creaked open and JongUp stood in the doorway, concern clearly in his sharp gaze. He took one look at the shaking HimChan on the floor then into the toilet and understanding dawned on his face. He walked to the sink and filled a cup with water before squatting beside HimChan. He held the cup out to the older member but quickly realized that his hyung wouldn't be able to hold the cup without spilling it all over both of them. He helped him guide the cup to his lips and take a sip before rinsing his mouth out and spitting it into the toilet.

HimChan repeated the process a few times before the taste of vomit was fully out of his mouth. His shaking lessened and he held the cup on his own, swallowing the rest of the water to ease his parched throat. JongUp eyed him quietly, but HimChan knew that he was just giving him a minute to recover before attacking him with questions.

He reached up and flushed the toilet before standing up and sliding past JongUp to stand in front of the sink. He was pale and sweaty - he didn't look well at all. With a slight wince, he washed his hands and then grabbed his toothbrush from the medicine cabinet. JongUp stood as his hyung cleaned up, gaze never leaving him.

Once HimChan was finished, the older maknae of B.A.P gave him a weird look that made Him's heart beat faster. Here it comes - the moment where JongUp would tell him that he knows everything. “Hyung, why were you sick?” was all he asked, his voice casual and unassuming.

HimChan relaxed slightly, realizing that he could easily play it off. “The stir fry made me sick. I think I used too much oil to cook it with.”

JongUp shook his head in disagreement. “Yeah, but all five of the rest of us ate that same stir fry, and none of us are feeling sick. Why was it just you?”

“Everyone's bodies are different, Jonguppie.”

“Maybe, but you eat burgers from the Shake Shack every time we go to the States. They're greasier than the entire pot of stir fry, and you eat more of them than you did your food tonight. I saw your bowl on the table- you barely at half of it. How did that little make you sick, but not all of us who finished our bowls?”

“I don't know why, but it did. What else would have made me sick?”

JongUp bit his lip and looked at the ground as if mentally debating. In the end, he gave HimChan a sharp look, knowing that his next words were for his hyungs own good. “Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Did you make yourself sick? Don't try and use the stir fry as an excuse. When you tried to grab water out of my hand, I smelled puke. I know that we were right beside it, but it smelled closer, hyung. It was on your hand or something.”

HimChan felt his heart rise up into his throat but he took a breath. JongUp seemed to be onto something, but he could still get out of this if he tried. “I was feeling pretty sick, JongUp. I puked in my hand before I got to the bathroom.”

“Why wasn't there a mess anywhere else, then? I don't think you could have done that without at least some getting on yourself or the floor. Plus, our room is right next to the kitchen, and I would have heard you if you had thrown up. I didn't hear you until I came to use the bathroom.”

“You were in a room with five other people. I'm sure you could have been distracted and not heard because everyone else was being noisy.”

“That's the thing, though. YongGuk and Junhong are sleeping, DaeHyun and YoungJae are watching a movie with headphones in, and I was reading posts on twitter. It was completely quiet.” JongUp shook his head in resignation. “Maybe the food did make you sick, but I'm not convinced that you're not lying to me, hyung. You've been nervous since I got in here - you're still sweating even though I cut the air on.”

“Y..you cut the air on?”

JongUp nodded. “Yeah, while you were brushing your teeth - you were too distracted to notice. It made it colder in here, but you're still sweating just as bad. People usually do that when they're hiding something.”

HimChan laughed sarcastically against his will. “Did you learn that in high school psychology?”

JongUp glared, instantly shutting the older member up. “Yeah, I did. But I'm not wrong, am I? You're nervous because you know that I'm onto you.”

“I'm sweaty because I just puked my guts up, JongUp. Are you ever cold after you've just been sick? It heats your entire body up for awhile.”

“Normally when I'm legitimately sick, I have cold chills underneath the heat. Are you cold, hyung?”

“No, I'm not. But not everyone is like you - I get hot after I throw up.”

“Really? Because last time you had the stomach flu, you were complaining that you were freezing and took all of our blankets to warm yourself up, even though you had a high fever too.”

“I..” HimChan tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “Your body doesn't always have the same reaction to being sick - this is a different type of sickness, anyway. I got sick from food, not from a virus.”

JongUp sighed as he realized that if he didn't use the bathroom soon, his bladder was going to explode. “Sure you did, hyung..” He moved closer to the toilet before looking at HimChan over his shoulder. “I need to pee. Close the door, will you?

HimChan complied, happy to finally escape his dongsaeng's interrogation. The kid was a lot sharper than he gave him credit for, and it terrified him. Did he actually know or was he just taking an educated guess? More to the point, how had he found out? Had he really been that careless that it was easy for B.A.P's most 4D member to find out so easily?

The visual's head was pounding again, this time not from mounting nausea. With a sigh he walked to the member's shared bedroom and crawled into his bed, ignoring curious looks from DaeHyun and YoungJae who were laying on the floor watching a movie.

Once completely covered by his blankets, HimChan felt tears spring to his eyes and he let them fall against his sheets, choked sobs being swallowed by the pillow.

[goodwriterwithbadhabits]

SVT as Mutants and Mutates Pt 2

Please read part one first! It’ll make more sense!

Masterlist

Boo Seungkwan- Code Name: Apollo

Ability(ies): Healing; Healing oneself and others faster than naturally possible, and often through supernatural means

Status: Mutant

Development

He didn't fully develop his abilities until his early teens.

He had always been interested in medical stuff so he pursued it into high school

It started with small things

That he knew of, at least

Paper cuts that healed in a few minutes

A twisted ankle that healed in 4 hours

So he asked his parents about it and they told him the truth

When he was a kid he used to kiss their “boo-boos” and they would actually heal

His father had even once broken his leg but it healed faster whenever Seungkwan drew on the cast

He took the news pretty well, seeing as he had a less obvious power

Training

He started attending medical seminars while in high school

And collected tons of books on the subject

When word slowly spread that he was a great healer, mutants started flocking to his house

So his parents refurbished a shed out back as his office

It was a win-win,

The Boo's got money, Seungkwan got to train

Then one day, Cheol walks into his office(shed)

He's a little beat up and worse for wear

But Seungkwan patches him up no problem,

Then Cheol asks him to join them at Pledis,

To which Seungkwan politely declined

But when he was 17 Jun crashed onto his lawn and he didn't have a choice but bring the guy home

And he really liked it there

So he stayed

They hooked him up with the medical wing, which was sweet

In house doctor, without having to pay

Nice

Current

Boo as he's known, sometimes Apollo, mostly stays in the medical wing, his room (which is next to the medical wing) or Vernon's room

Jeonghan, Minghao, and Vernon are the people most often in his care

Because they're stupid and overexert themselves

He loves them he does, but damn they dumb

He's not remotely a field agent

Fuck that shit

He's part of SVT but he's the support squad

Also, he's got the voice of an angel?

Like if he's just patching somebody up, or cleaning up, he's singing

Which is part of the reason Vernon likes him

They're the perfect duo

The only people who don't know that Seungkwan and Vernon are in love are Seungkwan and Vernon

~~

Kwon Soonyoung- Code Name: Bullet

Ability(ies): Superspeed; Movement faster than otherwise humanly possible.

Status: Mutate

Experiments

He was 7 when they took him

His powers developed almost as soon as he arrived.

They had him running laps to cull his insane amount of energy

Then suddenly he was a blur

He hates how early his ability developed

It meant he spent the rest of his time in captivity running tests

Literally

They had him hooked up to a treadmill most days monitoring his top speeds till he collapses

Then they throw him in a small cell with a bunch of food until they decide to pull him for more tests

When they weren't watching he was seeing if he could vibrate through the wall

Or shatter the glass

or literally, anything to get out of this fucking hell hole

But to no avail

There was this kid in the cell next to him

Its someone named Jihoon

He arrived later and Hoshi feels horrible for him

He wasn't sure why but when he was 15 Jihoon just disappeared

It really pissed him off

And he shattered the glass viewing window at the front of his cell

So he was moved to complete isolation

Just a dark room with steel walls

And just barely audible over the screams from some of the more insane captives, he could hear music

And he danced to it

It kept him sane and fit

then the music stopped

It pissed him off again but he couldn't do anything.

So it became emptiness

And he gave up

Rescue

When Cheol and Jun arrived to get Hoshi they found an empty facility

Jun searched the place but they didn't find anyone

Then Cheol found a lone security camera pointed at a cell with only one inmate

He barely responded when the boys went in to get him

He was just sitting with his arms resting on his legs, covering his face

When Cheol squatted in front of him and touched his arm to see if he was alive

He bolted to the other corner of the room

Wide-eyed, he gaped at the other boys

Then he apologized

When he got back to the manor he just kinda quietly followed Cheol around

Then he found Jun dancing in one of the rec room and joined him

Current

If he's not dancing, check Woozi's room

He's probably annoying him

He and some of the other dancers put on little performances for the squad and the kids

He also teaches the kids how to dance

When he's needed on SVT missions it makes him super happy

He hates being alone

It scared him

But you can't really tell since he's mostly a bouncy ball of sunshine

~~

Lee Seokmin- Code Name: Angel

Ability(ies): Clairvoyance; seeing things or events in the future or beyond sensory contact, Empathy; feeling and at times, altering, other people's emotions.

Status: Mutant

Development

He didn't realize he had abilities as a kid

The Clairvoyance, never really happened until he was older

Mostly it was just empathy

If his parents were upset, he was too

If his teacher was having a good day, so was he

It was really weird being in school

All these emotions bombarding him

So he set out to be happy,

All

The

Time

At first, he didn't realize he was causing people's emotions to change

He thought he was just a cool guy

But then his mother was sick and feeling awful

She wouldn't let him into her room, so he didn't get sick

So he just sat outside her room

Being upset and willing his mom to be happy again

And she was

Training (Kinda)

He started testing his abilities on people at school

He focused on positive emotions though

The girl whose mom was in the hospital was suddenly smiling for the rest of the day

His clairvoyance appeared in high school

He was taking a test when suddenly he could see the answers

He didn't understand, figuring it just to be his brain's panic response to the unknown

But then a few days later, he saw his friend getting hit by a car

Something told him this was going to happen the next day

And it almost did

But Seokmin stopped him from going into the street

He waited to do something about his powers until he graduated

Then he waited a little longer

Because shit's scary

So he called Pledis when he was 19

When he got there

Literally, the moment he stepped in the doors

While Cheol was asking him about his abilities

He had a vision

It was about Dino

And then he passed out

Cheol was really sick of catching seers

Current

He rooms with Jeonghan and whoever recently came in.

He's technically part of SVT but doesn't tag along unless absolutely needed,

He prefers to stay behind and be emotional support (lol)

He's often awake with Jeonghan and whoever has had a nightmare but he doesn't go out with them

He just sends calming waves over to them

Honestly, I want a DK

~~

Lee Chan- Code Name: Blink

Ability(ies): Teleportation; instantaneous travel from one location to another

Status: Mutate

Experiments

He was 4 when he was taken

They put him under every test they could think of

But nothing was happening

So they tossed him in solitary confinement

He was 9

A few weeks later they shoved someone in the cell next to him

The guy would just play music all the time

And he wondered how but stopped questioning it

He was 12 when he finally saw another person

He and the person in the cell next to him, a pale dude who was drugged after being taken out were being moved.

Chan was handcuffed and thrown into the back of a truck with the drugged guy

They drove for a while

Eventually, the drugged guy woke up, groggy as shit and told him ominously

“If I die, don't tell my family.”

To which Dino stared at him in horror

This guy was like a year older than him, max

“What's your name?” Was all Chan could respond with

The car stopped moving the second after.

“Vernon”

Then the doors were opened and Vernon was grabbed and pulled out

Chan figured he'd never see the guy again

In the new facility, they tossed him back in solitary

Where he stayed until he was 17

Rescue (kinda)

When he was 17 he was dragged out of his cell

And pulled through the facility

To more testing or death, he wasn't sure

but he freaked.

As they dragged him by a security guard complaining about some hideaway for mutants

He saw a picture of the Pledis Manor

And closed his eyes, picturing it

Then suddenly he was laying on his back

He could smell flowers and feel a soft wind.

When he opened his eyes he was looking up at a blue sky,

It was sunny which made his eyes hurt

He sat up and looked around, finding a huge manor nearby

At first, he thought he was hallucinating while dying

But then a taller man in a white shirt came to him with a smile

“I was wondering when you'd get here”

Jeonghan brought him inside and made him hot chocolate

The pair were talking about the other people in the facility

Like Vernon, when Hoshi walked down

He mentioned the music he would hear and Hoshi perked

It brought them closer together, knowing they were from the same place

But Hoshi just wanted to know about Jihoon

Chan wanted to know about Vernon

Neither had answers

But Chan chose to stay instead of going hunting

He wanted to learn what had happened

How he had gotten there

Luckily someone else knew how to teleport and helped him

Current

He's irreplaceable as the youngest member of SVT

Also, none of them can teleport

He also learned how to teleport other people as well

He's pretty fucking cool

Like Hoshi, he has nightmares about being in isolation

But Chan also likes being alone a lot

But withing hearing distance of other people

So he hangs out on the roof with Shua a lot

But when Vernon arrived, he nearly shit himself with happiness

So they stick close sometimes

Like when Vernon wants to be alone,

He likes being alone with Chan

They both do

He's unsure why Jeonghan loves him like a son

He's only a few years younger than the guy

But overall he does love his hyungs, even Jihoon

~~

Xu Minghao- Code Name: Thanatos

Ability(ies): Necromancy; reviving the dead to semi-cognitive forms, Immortality; incapable of dying.

Status: Mutant

Development

He's kinda had this ability since he was 7

But he never told anyone but his mom who kept him hidden

It all started with a dead bird in his front yard

He picked it up and got sad that it was dead

But then it wasn't anymore

And it flew away

And Hao looked at his horrified Mom with blood flowing out of his nose

What a horrifying sight

Training

He trained himself

In a lot of things

Biology, Anatomy, Martial Arts, Poetry

He just hid and studied

He started bringing back things, just to see if he could

And to improve his strength

Now he wasn't just killing small animals

That would make him a sociopath

But he would go into the forests for days at a time and find dead and decaying animals and bring them back

Its kinda scary

He's never brought back a human though

Oddly enough, he happened upon Pledis

He was just in the woods, hiking and looking for dead things when he saw the building

At first, he thought it was just an abandoned building

When he got closer, he saw someone come outside

And they were waving to him

He wasn't sure why, but he went over to them

It was Dk, grinning like the sun

He was surprisingly chipper, but it made Hao feel better?

So he said “fuck it”

Called his mom

Told her he wouldn't be coming back any time soon

And stayed with Pledis

Current

He didn't abandon his mom

He still goes to see her a lot

Usually with Jun

His mom likes Jun because he is also Chinese

He's part of the SVT but mostly is just there because martial arts

He's a scary boy

And he can’t die

He's never brought a human back

And he's kinda scared to

But he's always training to just in case

He likes dancing with Hoshi, Jun, and Dino

Its a good way to get over the fact he literally has the power over life and death

Which everyone seems to forget a lot

But they watched him bring a bear back to life and control it

So now everyone's kinda scared of the tiny Chinese boy

Also, he always wears bucket hats on missions

No one knows why

~~

Chwe Hansol-  Code Name: Soundcloud

Ability(ies): Electrokinesis; generate and control electrical fields

Status: Mutate

Experiments

He was 6 when he was grabbed

His parents had done a decent job of hiding him

But even moving from New York to Korea didn't help

He didn't understand what was going on for a long time

At first, he was kept in the standard-issue cell

Three walls of brick and one of glass

Until he was 10

Then his abilities surfaced

It was storming outside and Vernon was staring out the little window when lightning struck the ground right next to his head

But nothing happened to him

He just turned to the doctors that ran in to see if he was still alive

But when they pulled him for testing the first nurse to touch him got zapped across the room

Every time they actually got him out of his cell he would touch the walls of the compound and turn off the lights

So they tossed him in Solitary

You know, throw the guy with electrical powers into a metal box

Good job.

He learned that he could create music by tapping his fingers on the wall

The electric sounds served as a background to his bad beatboxing and semi-bad rapping.

Then a few years later they pulled him out of the cell and knock him out

He barely remembers waking up to spook Chan

Rescue

He doesn't remember much

He had gotten shoved into another solitary cell

This time with no neighbors

He still just made music

And thought about his parents

Then when he was 19, roughly 5 years later he heard something different than just the normal sounds of the facility

Some loud thumps

So he called out to the guard in the corner and was answered with the viewing hole being covered

So Vernon did the only thing he could think of

He summoned a huge electrical field

and blasted the door off its hinges

nearly squished a Jun

And then promptly passed out

When he woke up he was on a bed in the medical wing

Literally second later Chan burst into the room and hugged him

Which made Boo shout at him

Vernon is almost certain he fell in love with Boo at that moment

Current

If he's not with Shua or Boo, he's probably alone in a corner

He's constantly trying to find his parents

Even if everyone thinks he should stop, he won't

And Cheol doesn't want him to give up on them either

Turns out he's really good with computers

But don't let him fly the plane

Someone nicknamed him storm once and he zapped them

Then educate them on the fact he could only manipulate electrical fields

He's a member of SVT, and arguably the deadliest

Others think its Shua or Gyu

but Boo told him he was the strongest so no one can take that from him

~~

Lee Jihoon- Code Name: Phantom

Ability(ies): Invisibility; Cause oneself and specific objects to no longer been seen by the human eye.

Status: Mutate

Experiment

He was taken when he was 10

His parents were scientists and knew about the gene

So they kept him hidden as long as they could

But he was eventually found

Since he was older they were ruthless in their experiments

In the cell next to him was this guy, mostly known as Hoshi

But they didn't talk much

He always just wished he was invisible,

One day he was

He was 15, and had bolted from the hold of one of the nurses

They chased him down the hall

but when he turned the corner he vanished

He seemed to realize they stopped chasing him after a few moments

When he paused to see why he caught his reflection in one of the steel doors

Or his lack of a reflection I should say.

This shocked him into being visible again

And got him captured again

They actually taught him how to control it

And trained him to be a spy

He hated it

But his other option was death so

Hey, useful skills for his next escape attempt

Which brings us to

Rescue

His escape attempt was the same day Cheol and the others showed up

This time they brought DK

Jeonghan had told them what Woozi could do

He managed to get out of the wing he was trapped in and all the way to the lobby before DK noticed him

Scared the shit out of Seungcheol when he just kinda popped into existence

Didn't want to go with them but figured it was better than staying there.

Current

He was only rescued a few months ago

But he's a very important member of SVT

Not only can he go invisible, but he's also scary

but also adorable cuz he's like 2 feet tall

He found Shua's guitar in the greenhouse and played it

Which made Shua super happy

But Shua scared the piss outta Jihoon by just popping out of a tree

So he stays indoors now.

Cheol and Jeonghan are pretty much the only 2 he puts up with

Everyone else is only healthy in small doses

I hope you guys liked this! Don't forget to request any scenarios, headcanons, or reactions your heart desires and I’ll do my best

[seoulscenarios]

Go on your own path, this is my lane

member: Lee Felix

word count: 3185

genre/warnings: action, fluff, a lil bit of angst

request: YES

summary: you and felix had never been the best of friends, in fact you were actually rivals in the local street racing business created by your father. but when an old threat comes back to haunt, how will the two of you react?

a/n: this is a PSA... i know literally nothing about street racing so any terms that are wrong or any inaccuracies are entirely my own!! nonetheless i hope you enjoy it :)

- “Y/N CROSSES THE LINE IN FIRST POSITION, THEIR 9TH CONSECUTIVE WIN IN THIS SEASON PLEASE JOIN US AGAIN NEXT WEEK FOR THE FINAL RACE, IT WILL BE A GOOD ONE”

- You hear the roar of the announcer on the megaphone as your tires screech up to the holding area

- You see the thing is, whilst most kids you went to kindergarten with are now in decent education, you were sucked into an almost fantastical, glamorous and oft times dangerous new life

- Your father built up a street racing empire in your district, building it from the bottom up to the sleazy, shady but big business it was today

- At first, you were reluctant to get involved but every day you spent in the garage, was a day you learnt new things and quite honestly, it was exhilarating being thrown around a modified car around a dusty abandoned race track

- Ever since your first ride with your father, you knew street racing was for you

- And since then, you began to start hanging round in the garages learning how to fix and modify cars and your older brother began to learn the business aspect of it all

- The day you won your first race when you were 15 was a day you would never forget, running into your fathers arms and feeling the bubble of pride he had for you

- It didn’t last long

- Not even a year after you began racing, your father passed away in an infamous car accident which still shook the community to this day

- It took you over a year to get behind the wheel again, and when you finally did, you were filled with a newfound fire that intimidated all your competitors

- You got better and better after each race, winning the majority of them and losing when you knew you had to (some betting or business related crap that your brother tried to explain to you but you never really got, business had never been your strong point)

- Whilst still a relatively secret thing, the racing community expanded into other districts and before long there were new faces cropping up at racing events

- Which to your surprise, a few kids your age popped up and began to challenge you

- One of which, is Felix

- The first time you met Felix was after a race in which he nearly beat you and he got really cocky that he nearly beat the famed Y/N

- You were very quick to knock him down and told him to beat you next time then he can get cocky

- After that, the two of you began this weird friendly rivalry that most outsiders (and your brother) think is flirting, even after you both vehemently deny it 

- You weren’t about to admit that you were flirting with the boy,,, heck you weren’t even friends

- You were eNeMiEs

- Not that you don’t find each other attractive,, the underlying rivalry is still more important and will always come first

- Felix is your number one fan when the two of you aren’t racing

- Sometimes he’s there with his crew who all look a bit put out that their star racer is only there to cheer on the “enemy”

- You find it endearing, and the rare time you weren’t racing but he was you always made sure to give him a secret smile before the race or wish him good luck

- Felix, though, has the most hideous racing car you’ve ever seen

- It was painted an awful shade of bright orange, with green and orange stripes on the doors and you were pretty sure there were pokemon stickers on (courtesy of his crew)

- What made it worse was the fact Felix had called the car “”Baby”

- Like, if someone bumped into it

- He would get very defensive and ask them to apologise to Baby

- You rolled your eyes every time you heard him talking to his car and most of the time Felix just shot you a massive grin

- ANYWAY

- The current “season” is about to peak in its most dangerous race yet

- Which you happen to be the forerunner to win

- It’s been designed by your brothers’ girlfriend who is notorious for keeping the track as difficult and kinda secretive during the actual design process

- Which meant only the most experienced drivers could go on to race as the details were kept so secretive that they were only going to be shown to the drivers on the day

- As this race is the most important race for prestige, many racers from different districts are coming to show off their prowess

- And one of them,,,, just happens to be your biggest competitor and one of the most notorious drivers out there

- No one knows him, only the fact he goes by XDJ and is rumoured to be part of a secret underground mafia group

- Which makes them DEADLY as you can’t trace them, you only know just how brutal he can be whilst racing

- Whilst no one can confirm, there have been numerous rumours that his group have cause a number of fatalities

- Nasty car crashes, tampering of vehicles, sometimes even drugs were involved

- No one could point it at them,,, but the rumours still stand

- This guy, he was dangerous and you could be in serious trouble

- Especially with how infamous you are as a driver and how interlinked your brother is with underground business deals

- Felix,,, is worried for you

- He wasn’t going to be racing, you had point blank refused to let him race after he asked

- Felix wasn’t happy about it and what’s even worse, he knew that you wouldn’t back out of the challenge especially after XDJ was announced to take part

- Rumour has it that it was his connections with the mafia that caused the car crash resulting in your fathers’ death

- So to say there was some tension in the air was an understatement

- However, you knew you were ready to take them on and if needs be,, take them out if the opportunity arises

- Sure you were hot headed and impatient sometimes but you knew how to keep cool and calm under pressure, even if you were about to go up against the guy who might’ve killed your father

- Despite you and Felix not being the best of friends, the week leading up to the final race Felix turned up to your garage and started to hang around with you

- Which confused you as well, this garage was a private garage and you’d never revealed the location to anyone outside of your immediate business (consisting of your brother, his girlfriend and his PA

- Felix just shrugged his shoulders when you asked him how he knew where it was and just handed you a coffee, which happened to be your favourite order

- You pieced it together, knowing your brother must’ve told him about it

- For what reason, you had yet to figure out but still it was nice to have company in your otherwise lonely garage

- As the week passes by, you and Felix fall into a routine and it’s kind of weird

- You’ve never really gelled with people due to your line of work and the fact you fell so easily into Felix’s companionship was a bit odd

- Not that you were complaining as Felix was so much fun to be around and pulled you out of your bad moods and never failed to brighten your day whenever he smiled or laughed

- Over the course of the week you began to notice how much he integrated himself into your life and just how much he did for you

- There was no more scrambling around to find tools or struggle to do a two-man job by yourself

- And you began to notice the other things he did, the way his nose scrunched up when he laughed and his eyes turned into crescent moons, or the way he couldn’t help but dance when a particularly good song came on the radio

- A week isn’t long enough to fall in love, but it’s long enough to know that these feelings aren’t entirely just friendship and you want to be the cause of his laughs or see if your hand fits in perfectly with his

- However, you try and shake these thoughts out of your head

- It’s not the right time for you to develop feelings for someone, the race is more important and if you’re not in the right mindset

- Then, you might be toast

- The way he integrated himself so easily into your life never occurred until the day right before the race and Felix was nowhere to be seen

- You’re a bit distracted and it made you realise that maybe you enjoyed his company more than you let yourself believe

- It’s not until evening breaks and you spot an obnoxious orange gleam poke its way into your garage

- You can’t help but roll your eyes because of course he’d bring “Baby” with him

- “So, you wanna drive aimlessly into the night and sing karaoke?”

- You’re not going to say no to that because quite frankly you needed the distraction

- Honestly the drive was just what you needed, Felix drove around the quiet streets and out into the deserted roads that lay just outside the district

- The windows were cranked down and you couldn’t help but laugh as Felix shoved his head out of the window to belt along with the music

- It was pure perfection for a few hours (even if you nearly got into a police chase because of Felix’s race car)

- Felix drops you off back at your apartment and walks you to the front door

- “This was...”

- “Thank you Felix, I didn’t realise how much I needed it”

- Whatever moment that could have happened was promptly ruined when the front door opened to reveal your older brother smirking at the two of you

- Felix promptly scurries off, but not before giving your hand a squeeze and telling you he would see you tomorrow

- You try and get to your room but not without your brother sending you various winks

- You just roll your eyes and slam your door before he can interrogate you further

- You flop into a bed, a small grin gracing your face

- (Definitely not thinking about how cute Felix’s freckles seemed to dance in the moonlight or his voice blending perfectly with the playlist he had made)

- Before you even realised, you were stood next to your car surrounded by swarms of people all wishing you good luck and telling you what bets have been made 

- It’s all white noise to you

- Nothing is going in and you’re trying not to freak out, especially when XDJ and his hoards of people turn up and flash you dirty looks

- You don’t even notice Felix turning up, a few of his friends in tow

- It’s not until you feel the warmth of a hand slipping into yours and squeezing it that you realise Felix even turned up despite his reassurances throughout the entire week

- You’re pretty sure he can hear your heartbeat and you’re not entirely sure whether it’s from nerves or Felix so casually holding your hand like he was always doing it but either way, it’s kind of soothing

- The announcer screams over the megaphone and before you could even say something to your brother or Felix, you’ve slipped behind the wheel and pulled up to the start line, a map provided by your brothers’ girlfriend in plain sight

- Out of the corner of your eye you can see your fiercest opponent pull up next to you and your demeanour changed

- You knew you had to win this race or else it would be the end of you and your brother’s business

- For the majority of the race, you remain calm and following the mysterious car

- You just want to keep an eye on the car, watching for suspicious movements and besides, you practically grew up in this kind of environment

- You knew what to do and for the most part, you’re relaxed and know the best course of action

- However, the trickiest part of the race is yet to come up that even you knew you had to focus on

- What you didn’t account for was the car you had been tailing to slip behind you and before you could even rectify your mistake, there’s a slam on the back of your car and you panic

- Sure, you had been in car crashes before but you knew the aftermath of the crashes that were cause by XDJ and you fly into a panic, trying to rectify the steering so you don’t fall into the side of the road or flip the car

- However, there’s only so much you can do and you feel another nudge on the back end and your car begins to tip and you realise it’s probably the end for you

- You lose complete control and the last thing you remember is the sound of tires squealing past and not one person stopping to help

- ....

- You slowly blink your eyes open, the bright white lights almost blinding you

- You thought that would be more pain, but maybe you’re just dosed up with painkillers you don’t notice the 

- Out of the corner of your eye you can see a glimpse of fabric, so turning your head slightly you try and figure out who it 

- You quickly figure out it’s not your brother and the only person you know with obnoxious orange hair is that it’s the owner of a certain obnoxious orange race car

- Felix

- Curled up on an uncomfortable hospital chair

- You giggle quietly to yourself because he looks quite cute, hair all fluffy

- But apparently not quietly enough and he’s suddenly leapt up onto the bed, holding your hand (which you realise your other hand is wrapped up in a cast?!)

- With his spare hand, he cups your face and looks deep into your eyes

- You can see a wave of emotions cross his face but the overbearing one seems to be relief

- A sudden feeling of apology washes over you and you try to get the words out but before you could Felix interrupts you

- “Don’t ever do that to me again, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you”

- You’re not quite sure how to respond so naturally you just apologise

- “I’m sorry”

- “No, it’s my fault, I should’ve tried to persuaded you to be safe and maybe ever-“

- You’re the one interrupting now, knowing it’s not his fault that you’re currently in a hospital ward

- “it’s not your fault Felix, I wanted to race and I knew the consequences. Even if I didn’t want to end the night in hospital”

- “I couldn’t lose you, and im not sure your brother would want to lose you like how you lost.... your father”

- The mention of your father brings a painful lump to your throat and tears threaten to spill, but you quickly shake it off and squeeze Felix’s hand tighter

- “Well... i’m still alive and I don’t plan on leaving either of you yet”

- The two of you sit in silence for a few moments before your doctor makes herself know

- She rattle off a list of injuries, none of which you take in but you gathered the main points and the fact that actually, you were in a lot of pain

- You don’t remember the exact details but you end up being discharged and bundled up into a sleek black car that suspiciously looked like your brothers but you don’t say anything as Felix drives the familiar route back to your home

- The whole trip is a bit hazy, probably due to the amount of painkillers in your system but you’re suddenly enveloped by the warm and familiar arms of your brother and you can’t help but let the tears fall

- He pulls back, wiping your tears gently and directing you to the sofa in your lounge

- Felix is already there and his hand slips back into yours as your brother details the exact aftermath of your crash

- Bits of it goes in but most of it passes over your head and your brother realises, and he drops a kiss to the top of you head and tells you he’s got business to attend but Felix is more than welcome to stay

- You don’t see it but your brother sends a wink to Felix who blushes up from his neck to the roots of his hair

- The two of you sit in comfortable silence, hands still interlinked

- You don’t know whether to bring up what he said at the hospital or just leave it when his voice cuts across the silence

- “So, the this is- you know how we weren’t even friends? But then, you know, we were? Are? So... what if I don’t want to be friends anymore? Not that I want to go back to hating you, more like... I want to start... dating you?”

- Of all the things for Felix to say to you, you sure as hell weren’t expecting a full on confession after such a traumatic event

- Quite frankly, you’re sat there looking like a guppy fish all wide eyes and slack jawed and you can’t even formulate a response before Felix cuts in again

- “if I kissed you right now, would you punch me. Because I really want to kiss you, just not if you’re gonna punch me”

- “Felix, I have a broken wrist, I physically cant” you respond snarky, waving your casted fist at him but squeezing your hand that’s interlocked with his

- “But, you’re other wrist is free I don’t see why you can’t punch me with tha-“

- You just roll your eyes, something that seems to be a constant mood with this boy, and plant a kiss square on his lips

- He takes a moment to respond, but when he does you know that this is what you wanted

- His lips are soft and fit perfectly against yours and you can feel the overwhelming smile he has dancing about his lips and you have to break apart because his smile is just so beautiful and distracting you just want to look at him

- Felix pulls you closer to him and your head rests on his shoulder, giggling

- “So, are we officially dating?”

- “yeah”

- “cool”

- “cool”

sorry for such a lame ending but like i said i know NOTHING about street racing lmao aksjdf

as always i hope you are happy, healthy and hydrated and another friendly reminder: REQUESTS ARE OPEN so feel free to send in whatever requests you have !!! 

love, admin Leigh <3

(p.s. gold stars for anyone who can figure out who XDJ is!!)

[user31817-blog]

Letters to Midnight: Chapter 4- Night 9: In July

Having been dressed already I pick up the plate I was using to eat my pizzas on and make my way to the kitchen, dropping it off in the sink. That's a problem for another day am I right. I head to the front door, taking my purse off the hook, and wrapping the long strap around my body. Bending down to put on my pretty beaten up yellow Converse. As I open my door, I hear shuffling next door from Hyuks apartment, by his front door. Assuming he's putting his shoes on, I step outside and start locking my door up.

I hear his front door open and close. Look im not going to lie to you, Im very nervous, so Im still looking at my key that's still in the door, from my peripheral vision I can see his shoes and pants. His pants are a looser fit on him, dark and folded up at his ankles, his shoes.... well I honestly don't know what they are, its as if dress shoes met A gothic shoe designer, but not in a bad way. I pull out my key knowing that if I leave it in the door any longer it will very quickly get weird. As I turn to finally face my neighbor I slip my keys in my back pocket, Lifting my head up. What I immediately take in his shirt(s), he's wearing a light grey t-shirt under a long sleeve light blue Hawaiian shirt, but the sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and underneath THAT shirt a little sliver of another long sleeve shirt except its black instead of it being Hawaiian. I trail my eyes up to his face. His hair is dark, almost black, is swept out of his face, showing his forehead, he is wearing small hooped silver earrings. Now im not going to describe his face because frankly, I don't think I can describe perfection. But his face fits his voice. Which is not fair, to be able to have a voice like that you at least have to be below average in looks in my opinion, someone cannot be THAT perfect. Some people stay winning, and Hyuk is one of those people. I bet he even know how to cook.

As I finish taking him in, I nervously smile at him, finally making eye contact.

"Hey." Hyuk quietly greets

"Hi." I greet back. After saying this we both slowly start smiling. Hyuk looks down while putting his hands in his front pockets. I adjust the strap on my purse. Both of us still smiling.

"You ready?" I question, nervously digging the toe of my Converse into the carpet

I look up, already starting to back away in the direction of the elevators not waiting for his answer. He doesn't answer me but follows me instead.

It's quiet until we make it in the elevator.

"So Duck, to save this from being awkwardly quiet, tell me about yourself."

He sighs and responds with "You're going to keep calling me Duck aren't you?" chuckling at the end

I smile and look at him, "Yup!" I say bouncing on the balls of my feet

He looks over at me making eye contact smiling while shaking his head "Well what do you want to know?" he questions back

"How am I supposed to know what to ask you if I just met you Duck?" I laugh out.

He turns to look at me "Well my name is Kwon Hyuk, I am a singer, song writer and producer who goes by the name Dean, and I am 25 years old." he reveals to me, also bouncing on the balls of his feet, hands still in his pocket

"How did you get the name Dean?" I ask, the elevators stopping on the ground floor where our cars are parked.

"Well I actually got the name from the actor James Dean." We continue walking towards my car

"Elaborate please." I ask a little confused

"Well, James Dean has always had that rebellious character, which relates to my music, like I wanted to make music that was different, BE different." We arrive at my car, unlocking it and settle down inside of it. After starting the car I hand him the AUX cord. He quickly puts his seat belt on and grabs the cord from my hand

"Put something of yours on." I request

"No, lets play a game." He responds a smile in is voice

"Alright Duck, what game are we going to play?" I ask with a challenging tone in my voice

"I'll play a few songs and one of those songs will be mine. You have to guess which one is mine." He explains

"Im telling you right now, I'll ace this game." I respond with a little excitement evident in my voice

"Really, what makes you say that?" he asks in a playful tone

"I've literally heard you sing almost every night for the past 3 years." I laugh out

He laughs along with me scrolling through his phone. At this point we are already on the main road driving towards the grocery store. Then the sound of a piano accompanied with a beautiful voice comes on

"It's a beautiful life, I'll be on your side-"

"Oh! I know, I know!" I say smacking one of my hands on the steering wheel while softly rocking back and forth from excitement "It's 'Beautiful' By Crush!" I say stilling my movements, turning to look at him for a quick second, then looking back at the road

He's smiling looking at me "Yeah, how did you know?" he giggles out

"Are you kidding me, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE who has lived a great life has seen 'Goblin'." I say a little disbelief showing

"Yeah I guess." He laughs out "Okay, Here's another one."

This time before a beat start a voice begins this song

"We are, we are, we ar-"

Before the song can continue I immediately start singing along with it "WE ARTIST BABY ZICO, I HAVE A GOOD FEELING-" and before I know it the car crashes and we die. Just kidding. No but for real, before I know it Hyuk and I are singing, well more like yelling the lyrics to 'Artist' by Zico

"JUST THOUGHT OF AN IDEA, I LIVE MY WEEKENDS LIKE ITS THE WEEKDAYS." I pull up to a red light and look at Hyuk, still singing. We both make eye contact and continue singing, this time adding a little dance.

The light turns green so I continue driving. Both of us calming down but still giggling while he chooses another song. A woman starts out this song

"Did someone put drugs in it? Yeah" after the woman's part a male chimes in " I said it's true" then the woman again "In your normal voice-" she continues

I turn to look at Hyuk, confusion written on my face. But that soon turns to a smile "Duck....is this you?" I ask playfully

He looks at me with a little shyness on his face. He just smiles and shrugs his shoulders. We both sit quietly, me driving and him looking out the window. We sit until he suddenly starts singing along with the song whenever the male chimes in again

"A night hotter than the July sun I like all weekends, It'll probably cool down but today it'll be different,

all the emotions I pushed back I'll tell you today, I hope we'll be okay ."

He stops singing and I immediately look over at him, with the biggest smile on my face

"Oh Duck! ooohhh." I tease him, taking my right hand and lightly pushing his shoulder

He looks down at his lap a little embarrassed from my teasing. He laughs out loud, and once again that choking sound follows after it. It's cute.

For the rest of the song we sit quietly and listen. After it ends he explains to me that the song was called 'In July' featuring Heize

"I liked it, It sounded very summery, like I'd totally listen to this with my friends and have one of those cool friendship montage videos that makes everyone jealous.Well you know, if i had friends. Also you have a beautiful voice"

"That's oddly specific, and it's not that great" he laughs out

"That's cause it was, And are you kidding me Duck, a voice like yours could wake someone from the dead from how beautiful it is." We both laugh

I pull into the parking lot of the grocery store. The car is pretty close to the doors considering it about 4:20am and the parking lot is empty. We both unbuckle our seat belts and get out of my car. Walking into the store together.

He immediately grabs a shopping cart and I walk beside him. I lightly put my hand on the cart, steering him towards the frozen food section.

"I see we have something in common." he chuckles after realizing where we are headed\

"What do you mean?" I ask

He nods towards the refrigerators "We both can't cook." he states

"Wow, okay listen, it's not that i CAN"T cook, it's just i choose not to." I defend myself

"Okay you CHOOSE not to... whatever." He teases me

"Hey hey hey, yes I CHOOSE not to. I choose not to because... because-"

He starts laughing once he realizes I've run out of excuses, lightly nudging his shoulder into my own

"You also said you don't have a great voice and that was a total lie, so I bet 100% you can cook." I argue back

"I'll let you believe whatever you want Y/N." he laughs

We get everything I need to get, now at this point we are just walking around the aisles. We stroll into the chip section and Hyuk immediately reaches to grab a huge tub of cheese balls, holding it close to his chest like its the most precious thing in the world. I look at him with a curious gaze

"I cannot have my friend walk out of here without a tub of cheese balls. Not if I can help it." he explains

At this I cringe a little. Damn first day friendzoned.

"What? You don't like cheese balls?" he asks mind boggled and a little offended

"Nah its not the cheese balls part." I state

He looks at me with a face that says "what the hell are you talking about?"

"Look I know I don't have a lot of friends and I should be happy about this, but friendzoned on the first day. Really?" I say in a overly exaggerated tone

He laughs out at this "Y/N, you were friendzoned the minute you quoted Twilight."

"You're never going to drop that are you?" I ask him

"Nope, unless you drop the Duck thing." He teases back

"Well then I guess this is war Duck." I respond both of us holding eye contact trying to size up one another.

We bust out laughing loud, leaning on each other for a few seconds until we calm down. Then we head towards the front of the store to get checked out. Now lemme tell you, the groceries aren't the only thing we were checking out.

[theaterdisneynerdsunite]

Tony Awards Thoughts

So it looks like, at least for now, the CBS website lets you watch it for free (at least in the US). Here are my thoughts using those time stamps (be warned I have a long running commentary)

0:23 Oh is this going to be a parody of her playing the piano on last year’s Tony’s

1:05 How has neither one of them won anything? I mean I get if they said neither one of them one a Tony cause I mean, they both did shows that one time…but anything?

1:18 Is there anything more Broadway than saying the same rehearsed thing at the same time and pretending it was just part of the banter? Oh theater tropes I love you

1:36 That’s always been something that bothered me, people assume that just because something didn’t win the Tony doesn’t mean its not a great show, and the show that wins might not even be the best one that season (you know who you are). I love the Tony’s but its an award show, people don’t stop watching tv shows and movies or listening to artists that didn’t win or weren’t nominated, it makes me sad that so many shows close post Tony’s just because they weren’t the big winner. Anyways…

1:53 THEY CELEBRATED THE LOSERS LIKE ME, these A list celebrities that are totally not losers are soooo relatable ;)

2:40 A few years ago Something Rotten did what I thought was a brilliant advertising campaign listing amazing shows that lost the Tonys like them, so the fact that it was put into song gave me a fond flashback. See? SEE??? Oh it feels so good to be vindicated on tv

3:49 “If you make art at all your a part of the cure” :)

4:10 THEY HAD THE ENSEMBLE MEMBERS BE THE ONES IN THE OPENING NUMBER RATHER THAN THE LEADS THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY. If only my high school self could have seen this she would have felt so much better

6:42 I didn’t see any of the plays this year but I heard the most about Angels in America this season so not surprised. Looks interesting

7:45 Happy Pride Month

8:40 Bake a cake for everyone who wants a cake to be baked would actually be a pretty good diction warmup

14:10 Kinda surprised that they didn’t pick Rather Be Me or Apex Predator considering those are the really marketed songs. “Where We Belong” seems a lot like “Status Quo” from High School Musical. I mean you’ll get that about high school clicks in the lunch room with a blond queen bee but like, even the dance moves felt similar, and the lunch tray dancing, even the giant cat decal. But like, it's not as catchy? I didn’t expect them to win anything tonight but I really don’t think they’ll win anything now? Is that mean? Just cause it feels like it was supposed to be a high energy number and it didn’t have that energy I thought it would. Also come on, just cause you want the girls to be shallow and dumb doesn’t mean the lyrics have to be that cringey. This feels like a less good version of if Legally Blonde and High School Musical had a baby (I absolutely love Legally Blonde that was not intended to be an insult to either show).

15:00 Is it me or did Amy Schumer look like she wanted to say something but Rachel Bloom kept talking. But it didn’t really have any joke setup or serve as a good segway for commentary, what could she have wanted to say?

15:35 Later on I’m going to see if I can find the award speeches that didn’t get televised. most of the world doesn’t get broadway they get regional theater, I wanted to hear what they had to say

15:45 Nick Scandalious feels like a cartoon name you’d see in an Onion article about the Me Too movement. His face even looks like the generic celebrity that had a TMZ scandal five years ago. I thought I read it wrong at first lol

16:40 I was cracking up they know their brand so well. The air quotes on emotional, perfect!

17:10 Mini Sara and Josh are so cute!

17:50 Ok I missed the reference, what is the giant bird lady from?

18:10 oh

20:57 celebrity child picture counter: #3 Amy Schumer. Also guess which year the musical described as “a comedy about class and sexism” is from? Yup it’s My Fair Lady, the audience laughed like I did in that sort of this is funny but also sad kinda way

26:00 This was so overacted and hammy and one day I aspire to that level of loud printed robes. Coincidentally my name is also spelled like Eliza but my voice is not nearly that good. Also does it count as drag if they are clearly men in dresses with some comical makeup or is there another name for it when they aren’t actually trying to look feminine?

26:18 The twitter usernames were too small to see on my screen who were the twitter pictures of?

26:30 See above comment

27:00 What show did Billy Joel work on? Also Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, and Josh Groban maybe my mom will finally enjoy theater

29:12 Oh my gosh that picture of Titus Burgess is amazing as is that suit. And that intro is so Titus its great

30:07 Renee Fleming we’ve got the Opera world here too? It’s so many famous musicians from outside broadway on broadway, think of all the crossovers

32:50: Yes spongebob get Josh Groban to sing more thank you for your service. Ok I’m not a huge fan of spongebob but they have to win for sound design that guy is on overload

33:27 Lol it explains so much why the songs sound disjointed cause they got a billion people to write them. Also lol I was waiting for that joke

33:50 Also what I thought would happen would be a medley that way Spongebob who really is the driving energy of the show and Squidward played by the Broadway darling would both have a song. This wasn’t how I expected them to do it, but I was sort of right so I’ll count it. I’m not really a fan of Spongebob the musical (I’ve listened to it twice once when it first came out and once during Tony Season. I’m not one of the people who hate it off the sheer premise and won’t give it a chance, but I just thought it was meh and not worth having the most nominations.) But Squidward’s song is very me, not in terms of melody cause that is I find most of the melodies to be rather generic but the lyrics are 100% me trying to convince myself. Also all I will be thinking about for the rest of the will be what tap dancing must feel like its gotta feel weird how long do you think he spent practicing it with and without the extra legs. Or it might be nightmare fuel with the sea anemone contributing to it, who knows? Probably both,

38:07 still don’t know whose handles those are

38:28 ^^^

38:40 Ok when I saw the outfits I was expecting a Chorus Line Parody, but this Sia parody fits this every genre but musical theater theme of this Broadway season

39:20 Eight times a week, and all the subsequent puns

40:28 Can I just say I love this return to singing interludes over awkward award show banter?

41:44 I saw the Bands Visit a few month’s back and I still don’t know how to describe it. Normally I would guess it would be the second fiddle of the Tony’s but considering the “purists” it’ll probably win most of the awards

44:16 With all the previous reaction shots you knew it had to be Nathan Lane. I always forget how well spoken he is because of his typical roles but he is really well spoken and sincere rather than trying to wise crack and it was so sweet. It made me smile

47:43 His face saying “blow high” has got to be a gif right?

51:45 The entirety of the Carousel number was me thinking if I had a higher sex drive this would totally make me thirsty. They also used very creative ways to physically embody the shape and workings of a ship but then again I’m admittedly biased. Listen to that number you know their vocal prowess was not why they picked it

52:12 I mean, I know that crew gets less attention than cast and plays less attention than musicals but I would watch the full version stop cutting out the speeches. C’mon I love costumes

53:04 I know your joking but that hurts

53:19 yes #4 famous kid photo Uzo Aduba

55:49 Ari'el Stachel’s speech is made all the more poignant when you realize everyone else in his category were white. Despite this season’s commerciality you actually do have shows and casts with Asian leads and African American leads and Latin American leads and Middle Eastern leads somewhere between the sea of shows like Spongebob and Frozen. Show these shows some love, prove that Hamilton wasn’t the anomaly but the rule

56:55 They brought the Parkland teacher for the theater education award! Fitting 65 students into a high school teacher’s office for hours to protect them is not easy, she saved lives that day

58:17 I thought #5 Matthew Morrison was a girl in his child pic

58:40 They went to Parkland?!

59:35 OMG they’re performing!?!

1:00:10 Seasons of Love is the Perfect song for this, they sound so good too!

1:01:18 Girl has an amazing voice! Dang to get up there in front of all of these famous performers on live TV after the media has already hounded them and putting yourself out there is courageous

1:02:45 I can’t see the handles

1:03:11 Will they be able to top NPH’s Tony magic trick though??? Probably not but let’s see

1:03:31 So cheesy but tbh if I had a Harry Potter wand I’d be even cheesier

1:03:46 Was that line improved or was the tech delay intentional?

1:04:22 C’mon Squidward already pulled the same “trick” you have ensemble block the audience pov while someone enters from the back. Didn’t even come close to topping NPH

1:04:43 Little Patti Lupone I can’t believe she allowed them to include her picture of lil’ Patti

1:05:04 I just wanted to include Patti’s line about a “deep appreciation for outspoken women” cause I actually said “you go girl” out loud

1:05:35 Yeah, fun fact, Tony wasn’t a man but was actually short for Antoinette. They referenced it multiple times before, including earlier tonight, but it was stated most explicitly here

1:06:35 Is that a young or modern Claire Danes, I can’t tell

1:07:39 Also it’s really cool that an older woman won something, I feel like the stage gives more roles for older woman that other acting industries, also if people argue that she was political she served political office. Also how cool is it that apparently people were there from every recognized country?

1:09:27 so that’s how they do Sven, I knew Olaf was supposed to be an Avenue Q style puppet but the way they move Sven is really cool (it’s the technique they used on things like War Horse, I don’t know if it’s considered costuming or puppetry or what the official name is)

1:10:20 Anna looks exactly as I pictured her, and they changed a few minor lyrics for it to fit the stage

1:10:44 There are so many quick changes tonight

1:11:22 Elsa did not look like what I imagined her to be, but the costumes are on point

1:12:00 The chorus versions of these songs have beautiful harmony, but Olaf shouldn’t be there yet right? Isn’t he “born” in Let it Go

1:12:47 Alright I’ve been waiting to see how they’ll do the snow effects!

1:14:00 They got out of building the castle by already having it built at the beginning of the song, which is smart technically but I wanted to see how they do it, unless it’s one of those things that’s a surprise for when you see it live.

1:14:25 Never call it “Daddy’s Day” ever again. Never.

1:14:46 I can’t see the handles

1:14:59 How could you not show Chita Rivera’s lifetime achievement? I’ve been lucky enough to see her in more than one show and she is incredible.

1:15:13 And you also cut out Andrew Lloyd Webber’s?? You made the wrong cuts Broadway

1:15:25 It looks like they’re going to show a tribute I’m excited!!!

1:17:42 Two things: Andrew Lloyd Webber has written a weird collection of musicals, like when you see clips of them back to back you realize just how weird of a collection it is, and Josh Groban needs to be the next Phantom

1:18:08 That exchange was so physically awkward they haven’t even started talking yet and I feel the cringe

1:19:18 Is “I swore I’d never do something like that” shade against the La La Land debacle? In 2018? Or am I reading too much into it

1:19:21 I saw the Band’s Visit but I also saw Once on this Island and I thought that one would win Direction for sure but I guess I was wrong

1:22:36 I read Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, it’s a weird read, but I haven’t seen it live so maybe it’s directed brilliantly, who knows? Who else thinks its a weird read?

1:23:56 He’s getting the Tony audience to sing his boyfriend "Happy Birthday" instead of giving a speech and that is both adorably sweet and such a power move. Also a rare occasion of Happy Birthday being sung on key

1:25:10 They’re having DEH perform? You cut out people who actually were awarded tonight for people who already were featured on the Tony’s last year? And that song is a weird choice for a In Memoriam considering that show doesn’t really…respect the deceased. Weird

1:28:17 Give the tech more time in the limelight! You cut out Chita and Webber’s speeches for a weird tribute and you have weird stunts with tech like the magic thing yet cut out all their stage time. I know this is standard Tony procedure but it is something I will comment on every year until it changes

1:29:20 That move for “work hard for the money mom” line was uncomfortable

1:30:30 They really do sound like the original singer

1:31:53 So that’s how the performers follow the conductor. They have a huge teleprompter-like screen in the back of the audience

1:32:52 This cast seems specifically tailored to gather different subsections of internet geeks and I will not tell you which categories I fall into

1:33:18 I never knew “the Jimmy’s” were a thing when I was in high school

1:34:54 THOSE are the great themes of Harry Potter? Really?

1:36:10 Aww look at little Cinderella

1:36:34 How are they going to build that stage for the Tonys? They built a river inside the theater for it before!

1:37:00 Well it makes sense that they’d only include part of the set, you can’t really recreate an entire building. Yes I’m so glad they included Mama Will Provide. That song is like the definition of a Tony performance song. Why did they include the Daniel bit, that was so awkward and broke up the flow

1:40:40 If anyone would be chill with the goat it’s Nathan Lane. Yup, there a live goat at the Tony Awards

1:41:21 Don’t joke about that

1:41:41 Are you going to cut out every technical award

1:42:32 Too relatable

1:43:16 Is this that song from Chorus Line in real life

1:44:10 English Major life

1:46:03 The angel from Angels in America is so Extra TM

1:46:54 That Tony Kushner line was forced

1:47:18 Awkward segway but REMEMBER TO VOTE

1:47:38 That Judy Garland line ties in perfectly with the Happy Birthday to the gay couple

1:48:04 That reaction to the word “money” is me. And also is a gif right?

Am I so much of a Tony nerd that I both knew and was shocked that the accountants weren’t the normal ones from Ernst and Young but instead were from Grant Thorton. Why do I remember what company normally tallies the Tony votes? Why did they change companies? Why do I care so much? But seriously what happened

1:49:00 That phrase just sounded so odd, just the way it was said “my television Daddy-O Tony Shalhoub”

1:53:15 I don’t have the accent and I’m about as white as white can be, but I really want to perform this song somewhere at some point. I have family in this area even though I don’t look like I would but and I just connect to it. The melody is gorgeous and the chorus reminds me of the lullabies of when I was very little.

1:54:15 Every time the young photos come up it puts a small smile on my face

1:54:37 Good on them for putting their money where their mouth is. They actually helped fund arts programs in places where they were cut

1:55:05 I wonder what the rest of the scenic guy’s speech for Spongebob was because this tiny clip seemed so passionate (and just has such an interesting aesthetic). Gosh darn it Tonys stop pretending the only backstage people that count are the directors and producers, you have all these other people who put in so much hard work yet you consistently ignore them. Even orchestrations, choreography and score?? Orchestrations, choreography and score are crucial for musicals to exist as unique entities from plays. You make jokes about people sitting through 5 hour plays but I would gladly sit through a five hour award show if you just included the technical awards.

1:57:10 me trying to open anything ever

1:57:14 Yes! I was so worried they would go with the super old school ones that get constant revivals. I mean, they picked the show that had “1000 pounds of sand, a 100 gallons of water, a goat and 2 chickens into his theater” when you have safer, more conventional bets. Everyone kept sleeping on Once on this Island this Tony season to talk about their feelings about the Spongebob’s and Mean Girl’s of the world but this is such a good show. Maybe this’ll get this show the love it deserves.

1:59:30 what did Robert DeNiro say on the recording the sound cut out. Did the mic cut out did he say something inappropriate, I’ve been avoiding Tony news what happened?

1:59:55 It’s got more than just a big cast, dancing, and a history lesson. You know that applies to, idk like 60% of famous Broadway musicals lol

2:00:06 when someone gives that pregnant of a pause you gotta wonder what the story is there

2:00:27 Truth

2:00:40 “Jersey Boy” that’s such a good one liner, actually, it might sound sarcastic online but that was a funny one liner in context

2:03:00 Is Bruce Springsteen really going to just do spoken word poetry the whole time? Also I don’t know why but this makes me think of Fun Home

2:06:05 Oh he’s going to sing after all. Though that story is about as Americana Fourth of July as anything I’ve ever heard on the Tony Awards ever and that’s saying something

2:07:39: who are these people?

2:08:00 Didn’t Kristin Chenowitz and Alan Cumming do this exact same shtick when they hosted, what 2 years ago? And there’s was much bigger I mean really go big like that Glinda the Good dress or go home.

2:08:23 Was there really no punch line? Also aww baby Kelli O’Hara is precious

2:09:07 The actor’s name sounds like his character’s name and I enjoy that

2:09:39 Well these actors are very different from each other

2:11:28 I am a sucker for genuine sincerity and that combined with some of the earlier moments like the Parkland moment brought me close to tears

2:12:45 Look at this award shows actual diversity, and not just using one show for diversity and nominating a bunch of actors you have 3 out of 6 female leads be people of color and none of them are a “token” and they all support each other. Hailey Kilgore is so young and such a good actress and I wanted her to win so much but she seemed so excited for the person who did win and they all seem happy at the result you don’t have any of that polite loser face they are all genuinely supportive and this makes me happy. I’m happy, look at those smiles I’m smiling, I love it when they show women supporting each other.

12:14:06 “my stupid little heart with so much joy” is me watching these people tonight.

12:14:27 Still can’t identify these people

12:15:00 Josh Groban’s reaction to Bernadette Peter’s name is me. Honestly Josh Groban is killing the potential gif game tonight

I’m sorry I just can’t take this description of them as “empowering stories” seriously when half of your nominations are Spongebob and Mean Girls

2:16:10 Tonight the Band’s Visit really swept. Honestly some seasons shows don’t win any awards that deserved it and other seasons shows that (while still deserving) probably wouldn’t have won win and it’s all kind of arbitrary, but I’m glad out of this batch it won, it was really the only show out of the four that would have gotten the Tony Award ticket sales boost and it got it.

2:17:35 “Music gives people hope and makes borders disappear”

2:19:08 yes another Josh Groan duet!

2:19:25 I love Miss Peters too

2:20:44 This number made me smile, this whole night made me smile. I was worried I would get frustrated by the night with Spongebob and Frozen and Mean Girls and all the potential for it to be a cynical snark fest or a capitalist money grabber spectacular. There are about 10 billion ways I saw myself not liking this year’s Tony Awards before it started and not only am I relieved that I was wrong about the mood of the night but I am elated. I love me some deadpan humor and some snark but you rarely see one of these nights just wholly be genuine and not tongue and cheek and it was such a breath of fresh air. Even the hokey bits like the stupid magic jokes and banter or weaker songs like that Mean Girls number, because everything was in such a kindhearted atmosphere, didn’t feel as bad as they otherwise would have.

[alluran]

if you like causin’ trouble up in hotel rooms and if you like having secret little rendezvous

a/n: I wrote at least a year and a half ago, so there are some things that probably don’t actually count as canon, but canon compliant. This happens before Shiro disappears and there’s one reference to a Garrison flashback when they’re younger that’s shown in s7e1, but no season 7 spoilers. also, I haven’t written is a long time, but I wanted to do something so here is 4k+ of bonding and revelations

It was easier to slink into the control room unnoticed than he thought it would be with Coran and Pidge keeping the weirdest hours and the space mice popping up out of nowhere constantly. Keith moved to a control board, holding his breath as he listened to the Castle’s hum in the quiet hour.

He had fumbled a bit trying to get Allura’s light show up and running - he wasn’t even trying to get it settled on one particular constellation, just reached a hand out to follow the trail of a comet in motion when suddenly the entire projection went spinning. He slammed his eyes shut against the onslaught of dizziness, though the lights still danced behind his eyelids, and threw his arms up; a yell torn from his lips.

The rough growl of his voice echoed in the room, he opened his eyes frantically glancing back toward the hall way to make sure someone hadn’t heard him or could be running to investigate.

Could blaming it on lingering phantom venom in the castle still be within the realm of blame? Ooor had he expired that excuse when he had broken the-

Keith shook his head, turning back from the doorway to the projection. He wasn’t expecting the Milky Way - that would have been too cliche and besides, he wasn’t really looking for that one - but wherever he did land, had more than plenty to look at. He sucked in a breath, there were at least 14 planets and maybe a hundred moons. Planets with thin rings or wide rings. One smaller planet was almost completely hidden behind its many rings that looped and expanded like the years on a tree. His eyes traced the room at a crawl and it could have been seconds or hours or maybe the entire night by the time his eyes fell to his shoes, studying the neon storms curling over varying constellations and blips of untold worlds on moons and planets and asteroid belts hovering by his ankles. The blue lights were stark against the scuffed up knees of his black jeans where they glowed and pulsed with life. He - carefully, very carefully not to send the entire room spinning again - raised his hands, slowly uncurling his fingers and okay he felt something watching the light of stars wink back up at him from his palms.

He huffed a laugh, “The Garrison’s got nothing on this.”

Keith shrugged out of his jacket, folding it end over end before placing it on floor. The cool temperature of the floor felt good against his back and shoulders, slowly easing him down from the high of beating another one of the gladiator’s levels. It soothed the dull, satisfying ache in his muscles.

Space didn’t really adhere to internal time clocks (adjusting their human bodies to the constant dark of space had been the worst and deemed fit to even deal them jet lag that lasted for whatever two and a half weeks looked like out here.), but at least on some biological basis Earthlings and Alteans had synchronized enough that there was a solid block of time where everyone was quiet, sleeping or getting around to it. When they converted 24 hours to ticks for Allura and Coran had gone on for ages how infinitesimal human days were, how no wonder why they were still primitive. It had been a trip and he still got a migraine thinking about the formulas and charts that had littered the control room in the mathematical process.

So, he didn’t believe Coran and Allura literally went to bed when they did, Altean days had translated to around 32 hours with only six of them needed for rest.

Altean militia worked on four.

Children and adolescents were given eight, but when you reached maturity and able-bodied it was considered lazy.

Honestly, he was just glad Shiro had made it apparent from day one that sleep wasn’t really a matter of negotiation with humans, especially teenagers. He omitted the little detail where the Garrison trained them like the army, up and in uniform before the sun so much as grazed the horizon. Keith didn’t need nine to nine and a half each night, but the look on Coran and Allura’s faces when Shiro had told them stopped Keith from correcting him.

A middle ground was found and, unfortunately, an automatic timer had been put in place on the training deck to shut down after a certain time at ‘night’- as requested by Shiro, chief of curfew police.

Which is what brought him here, breath evening out and muscles still buzzing with an entire solar system arced around him. It reminded him of the desert - weird, since it wasn’t like the desert at all and he hated the desert towards the end of it. The wind had been brutal out there sometimes, turning the skin on his face raw (which is why he had to start wearing the bandanna, not as a fashion statement in homage to old cowboy movies like Lance had accused him of), but it was far off the Garrison’s radar, and property line, he had checked. Not so much that he was biased, which he unabashedly was, the Garrison worked more like a prison with curfew enforcers (guards that probably did a term on the brute squad) and always a light on, somewhere. Of course the instructors and government officials didn’t have curfews, certainly not for the scientists constantly churning out new tech to beat out other countries. Midnight and sometimes you could barely see your shadow on the sidewalk.

But the desert?

Miles and miles and miles out from the Garrison?

It was like space.

He’d use the filched hovercraft and siphoned the fuel energy to get it running just to go out farther, as far as he could go with enough to get there and back and a little left over in case something came up. There was a trail of ridges cut out from thousands of years erosion that he could lay out on and it was like it was just him and the sky - no other point of land high enough to break his line of sight, to break the illusion. It’s what he felt in the cockpit, piloting to the highest point in the sky until the only thing bringing him down was the radio fuzz laced with the familiar, warm voice of his instructor telling him the takeoff example had sufficiently been done 1200 feet ago-

“Now, bring it back in, cadet, before Iverson really does think you’ve hot-wired it this time.”

He chuckled into the comm, “Hey, all he had was a chip on his shoulder and circumstantial evidence, but copy that.”

Just him and the sky.

It set something like butterflies loose in his stomach.

Back in the desert, he got the chance to remap the sky like he did as a kid, not in vectors or pounds of air pressure, but constellations. He’d all but forgotten about the stories he had strung together to memorize the placement of each if you looked backward or forward, up or down. He always liked Aquila the Eagle in summer and Ursa Major the Great Bear in spring, but his favorite was Orion in winter even the relentless teasing from Shiro about Keith always being ready for a fight too hadn’t bothered him (he may have gotten one or two newer digs in since of course Keith’s bayard is a sword).

Sure he missed the familiarity of the Milky Way, but it wasn’t so bad laying under the jumbled mass of stars he didn’t know the names of. It gave him a little bit of freedom, no human eyes had laid on the stars or planets and he could trace out his own constellations - like the mice or maybe one that immortalizes the time he punched Sendak, he’s not picky.

He fit his hand under his head, cushioning it better against the floor and stretched out a leg. He could lay there for hours, even if it meant getting two hours sleep tops before Shiro was knocking on his door for wake-up ca-

“Closing time, open all the doors and let you out into the world. Closing time, turn all of the lights on over e-ver-y boy and e-ver-y girl.”

Keith cursed under his breath and sat up, mentally scanning through a list of escape possibilities. Maybe if he made a run for it Lance (because it was obviously Lance, no one had that much bravado singing to themselves in the middle of the night - let alone that song - and because the universe hated him.) wouldn’t catch him? He could easily hide out in a shadowed corner of the room while Lance cut the projection, mumbling to himself about it being Pidge.

Keith would never be the first suspect, when she’d left it up and running more times than any of them could count.

But was that what happened?

No.

“Closing time, you don’t have to go home, but ya can’t stay here. I know who I want to take me ho-”

The second he sat up and turned around it was just in time to startle Lance on his way past the doorway, he jumped at the sudden movement, frozen in some weird combative stance that just highlighted his lanky limbs and then, took to blinking owlishly back at Keith once he snapped back to himself. His thin brows rose high on his forehead when they made eye contact and Keith groaned as Lance pulled out one of his earbuds. Keith could hear the guitar riffs all the way from his spot halfway across the room. Didn’t he know that could cause him permanent hearing loss? And being a Paladin sort of meant they were supposed to be at their peak form. It was torture watching Lance look around the room slowly, so agonizingly slowly. He was going to ride Keith’s case about being some dopey romantic laying under the stars for weeks, probably years knowing Lance.

He was doomed.

There was no way he was getting out of this.

He’d be nagged and laughed at for being some dopey romantic that took long naps under artificial stars.

Lance nodded his head once, “‘Sup.”

Keith narrowed his eyes. “I’ll punch you if you tell anyone.”

Lance snorted and rolled his eyes as he walked into the room, “That’s dramatic. Dunno what you’ve got going on in that messy mullet head of yours but I guarantee you ‘likes to cool down after training by watching the stars’ is weak material - we were literally enrolled in the same school because we like this stuff. Mind if I pull up a jacket?”

He didn’t say anything, only narrowed his eyes and scooted his jacket over so they wouldn’t be sitting so close together.

Lance sighed, folding his jacket over and fixing the hood as extra cushion. When he laid down, he offered Keith one of the ear pieces on his headphones, turning his phone off and pocketing it with both earbuds when Keith shook his head. It was almost unnerving having someone do that, making a show of giving him their undivided attention and wanting to include him without a second thought. Especially when it came from Lance ‘KEITH AND LANCE, NECK-AND-NECK, RIVAL PILOTS’ McClain.

Lance situated his hands under his head and looked up.

Keith had barely caught the almost imperceptible gasp from Lance. Part of him hated that he only did because he was still watching him.

Not in a weird way. He just still wasn’t convinced this wasn’t going to turn into some sort of roast at his expense, he had to keep his guard up.

“This isn’t the Milky Way.”

“Nope.”

“It’s not any of the ones we’ve received distress signals from either?” Lance scanned the room fervently and Keith distantly wondered if he saw the same constellations or if he formed his own on the unexplored frontier.

Keith laid back down, looking back up at the stars and waving his hand in the air. “Nah, but finding this one...wasn’t exactly intentional. Just, uh, don’t wave your arms in the air or anything like that. Trust me.”

“Got it.” The blue paladin tilted his head, shuffling his legs as he moved the toe of his sneaker out of the rings of a planet. “When I was a kid, I went through at least 20 packs of those glow-in-the-dark stars and planets.” Lance laughed, “I’m pretty sure the white sticky tack is permanently fused into our ceiling.”

Lance looked over at him, expectantly, and Keith felt apprehension, they were sharing, this was a thing, before the words came stumbling far too easily. “I never got to do the glow-stars-on-the-ceiling thing, I never stayed anywhere long enough.”

For a moment, he’s afraid he’s broken some unspoken agreement when Lance flinched, like the clunky words had punched his side. Keith was sure everyone knew his business after the incident with Griffin, the Garrison was overrun with gossips and rumor mills and, unfortunately, he had been the unlucky candidate to have their rumor confirmed as fact. Just as he thought he was going to drown in awkward and be left to wallow in his crap communication skills, Lance spoke up.

“Did you ever want them?”

Keith huffed bemusedly, “Not really, my dad and I lived in the desert, so we saw the real thing that far out from the base. I didn’t really care to notice space as a career or anything until I was shipped off to the Garrison. It was kind of a last stop as a ward of the state - either make something of my life and stop being a parasite on society or go back to juvenile detention.”

Lance cringed. “That sounds like one of Iverson’s more rallying pep talks. Dude, that’s...that’s quiznaked. Or is Quiznacked?”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re saying them the say way, does it really matter?” Keith shrugged. “I didn’t always know I wanted this or even liked it, but then, I did. I didn’t mind the lectures or the homework or mandatory assignments that had us set an alarm at 2 a.m. to catch a meteor shower if it got at the pilot controls.”

“Who knew? Keith Kogane actually listening in class.” Lance scrunched his eyebrows in thought, his words hedged nervously. “But, you never paid attention in the classes we had together? That is, when you bothered to show up at all.”

“Things changed after my first handful of times in the simulator and I got assigned to pilot class. It was fine for awhile, Shiro was the instructor and he bailed me out of hot water I don’t know how many times. For the first time, I could see something past detention halls and rides shoved in the back of official vehicles. He was even looking into guardianship papers.”

Lance’s face lit up. “No way, man.”

“Yeah, it was pretty cool. But then, the Kerberos assignment came up and Shiro had to leave for prep and Iverson stepped in. ‘The Garrison Machine’ started to make sense to me and I hated it. People wouldn’t stop pushing me further and further - Takashi Shirogane was going up into space and there was someone that needed to fill in as top of the class, the next Garrison success story.

“Suddenly, Shiro wasn’t coming back and it went from being honed for his place to “Maybe you can learn from his mistakes.” Got caught breaking curfew to pilot illegal space crafts on a racing circuit and on top of my grades and the fights, that was it.” Keith sat up and rested his arms on his knees. “I had kinda forgotten what it was like to look up at the sky and not see government chains.”

“Understandable.” Lance shrugged as he stood, aloof. “That’s great and all - I mean, congrats on finding your passion again - but using your free time just laying underneath a projection isn’t the solution, Black Parade.”

Keith bristled, his voice racking up a few octaves again. “Are you kidding me?! We were having a moment, I just spilled my guts out to you!” Lance ignored him to shut down the projection and Keith felt his blood pressure rise. Every single time. “Nope, don’t remember. Didn’t happen.”

“You’re an a-”

“Take a deep breath, Mayday Parade.“ The blue paladin scoffed and waved his arms dramatically. “My point is: you’re spending all of your time down here when the real thing is right there, man. C’mon, I have something to show you.”

Keith threw his hands up and huffed. “Wh- Those aren’t even the same thing, Lance. One is a song and the other is a band.”

Lance cackled and he realized too late that he had walked into something. “You would know, mullet. Now, let’s jet.”

Keith didn’t get a chance to answer as Lance yanked him to his feet and dragged him toward the door. It was almost dizzying the amount of hallways and turns he was pulled in. Just when he thought they would be lost in the far caverns of the Castle for eternity, they passed a door and Lance threw on the emergency breaks, nearly reverse slingshot-ting them into the door frame.

“I found this place about a month or so ago when I definitely not snooping.”

“How am I supposed to take that sentence as you not actively admitting you were snooping?”

“I’ll have you know, I was stumbling innocently back from the bathroom and missed our hallway at whatever substitutes as 3 a.m. around here.”

“Fair enough.”

Lance yanked him in front of a door, it was just like every single other door in the castle - crisp and shiny and suspiciously clean if Lance had been coming back and forth here. He was not about to release his breath yet because this wasn’t a Saturday morning cartoon where hidden rooms or forbidden wings were marked with a creepy encryption or giant, bold faced letter spelling KEEP OUT. Allura’s sudden wrath if the mice sent her some ESP message that they were lurking around her house and just going wherever they pleased was a lot more likely though.

He didn’t know what he was expecting, everyone had learned through individualized experiences the hard way about expecting or assuming certain outcomes from Lance’s ‘surprises’, Lance finally dropped his hand to enter a code into the key pad, bringing Keith to another detailed revelation.

Since when did Lance keep up physical contact with him for extended periods of time without griping about it? (i.e. the cuffs, any time they had to train in pairs, or that one time they were the only ones cuffed as a punishment because Coran couldn’t find a garment big enough to fit both of them after Pidge enlightened him on ‘Get Along’ shirts.) And since when was he not painfully aware of every second of physical contact? He blamed Shiro’s comforting dad shoulder pats that lingered for just the right amount of time and Hunk’s not-really-terrible group hugs. The point was, it was still Lance.

Oil and water or, after that one mission, lighter fluid.

It wasn’t a bad thing, it just shocked him.

The doors swooshed open, scrambling Keith out of his thoughts as Lance swept an arm out in a grand gesture. “After you.”

An observation deck definitely wasn’t one of his possible guesses.

The air lock? Yeah, maybe. But not this. “It’s an observation deck, Lance.”

“Thank you, dropout.”

“When are you going to let that go? And technically, you, Pidge, and Hunk are dropouts too, so that insult is null and void.”

“Okay, but we dropped out to save the universe, you dropped out to go sulk in a sand dune.”

His fingers flexed at his side, palm warm and begrudgingly memorizing the feel of Lance’s next to his. He wanted to get along with the team, he didn’t particularly enjoy feeling like the last pick in gym class any time he hung out with Pidge, Hunk, and Lance while they talked endlessly about inside jokes and stories, but he figured it would be harder than this. Keith couldn’t name the day or hour or which planet they had been on when he and Lance didn’t constantly need a buffer or ref. It had been irritating sure after a year out in the desert doing his own, quiet thing whenever, going from that to knowing that he could have been walking off the edge of a cliff and Lance would still be trailing a few paces behind him and working to catch up - talking about marketplace stalls that looked cool or complaining about one of their old professors or asking if it mattered which restroom he went in or goading him into making puns or carrying on a conversation in puns after he had found out that Keith had seen The Princess Bride more than once and knew some of the references.

It was a...development.

That still didn’t change the fact he was standing on a regular, old training deck. He scrunched his eyebrows as he looked into the dark room, eyes trailing deliriously high to follow the dome of the ceiling.

“A little faith, please, Keith.” Lance quipped as he watched Keith look increasingly doubtful.

“Okay, last time you said that we almost wound up in jail on Zowhara and got a month of pod-cleaning duty for the trouble and time it took Allura and Shiro to get us out.”

“Anyways, the point is this isn’t like the other training decks and it’s worth it.” Lance jerked his head in a direction, sliding his hands into the front pockets of his jeans and turning on his heel.

Begrudgingly, Keith followed. Even if it turned out to be a legitimate claim the ‘it’s not like the others’ statement made him concerned and someone had to be there in case Lance somehow wound up getting yanked out into space - again. He felt a little validated in his worry when Lance traipsed up to a window not blocked by a safety handrail.

So he didn’t feel like his hesitancy was unfounded.

He hung back as Lance turned to see if he was following, he looked like he wanted to tease Keith for being the red paladin - temperamental, fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants, zero impulse control - and hesitating, but he didn’t. Not even an eye roll, just grinned at him. “You ever see Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?”

Keith laughed full and loud, the sound echoing off through the high ceiling. He barely managed to wheeze, “Suddenly, everything about you makes sense.”

“Ha-ha. Hilarious. Just get over here, chuckles. We don’t have all night, our wake-up call is in four hours and I want to get some rest.”

Keith felt an old reflex curl on his tongue, the “You didn’t have to stay with me.” all too ready. Hunk had graciously walked him through that one, just because they hadn’t known Keith as long didn’t mean they saw him as less of a friend. He still had a long road ahead of him working through what too many foster placements and a solitary year in the desert did. Lance raised his eyebrow, silently calling him out on it, daring him to say it out loud.

“Get over here, Kogane.” Lance faced the window again, shuffling forward until his toes were touching the window, the bright white of them reflecting in the glass. He bent forward, until his head was angled down against it.

Keith copied his stance, his hair tickling his nose where it was flattened between him and the glass, and looked down, only managing a pathetic attempt at actual words and resigning himself to an audible gasp. Lance mercifully didn’t throw the embarrassing sound back in his face, but Keith could hear his smiles in his words.

“It’s awesome, right? Back in Cuba, I would wake up right before dawn to get to the beach. There were so many of us that it was a thrill just in itself getting changed and out the door without someone waking up or already awake. We’re a big family and I love them, love being around them constantly, but going out there in the morning was my quiet space. I’d paddle out as far as I could.” Something Keith doesn’t think is for him to see flits and settled itself across Lance’s face. There’s a tilt to one side of his mouth that lifted up in a way he hadn’t seen before. His eyes looked out onto the galaxy, but it wasn’t the stars he was seeing judging by the light and distant glaze that envelope his eyes.

‘Varadero,’ Keith’s mind supplied, the scene forming in his head like he could smell the ocean and hear the lapping of the waves or caw of birds. The crisp wind whipping past him. It’s something private and-

Oh.

“I’d get to where the shore was behind me and everything in my direction was sun and sky and the sun lighting up the ocean. In one tiny second of time, the sky and the water are the same and it’s just...just-

“It all feels like flying, y’know? Like, that part in the simulator where you have to maneuver through the tailspin and a dive and it looks like it’s just you free falling into nothing but sky, but way better.”

Him and sky.

And Lance.