#its just gonna be a really shitty time and im not looking forward to my birthday anymore

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

when you literally live in a world that wasnt made for you 😆🔫

[the-s1lly-corner]

Proxies with a fem reader going to a pumpkin patch so she can pick out her pumpkin? :>

Proxies and Fem!Reader going to a pumpkin patch!

obligatory toby is platonic but tbh i dont think romance ties too much into these specific hcs also i havent been to a pumpkin patch in years so im really scraping my brain trying to remeber what people do asides pick pumpkins...and google... a lot of google... i admit i had to fight myself not to make this a group thing where it's all together but im 80% sure you wanted these separate no unique gifs for each character, too eepy (its 6am rn and i couldnt sleep for the life of me SOBS)

Masky:

I feel like out of the three he's probably going to give the most resistance, he just doesn't like being around where loads of people may be; too much noise you know? But with enough coaxing and reassurance I do believe you can convince him to tag along

Most straight forward about it, wants it to be in and out, so he kinda beelines and tries to find a pair of pumpkins that'll do

"Babe... those ones are too small to carve..." "They're. Average."

Sorry I had to make that joke

Anyways

Out of all the activities there you might get him to sit down for a hayride if it's not too too packed!

Overall it's an okay experience, but really this guy would prefer the pumpkin carving at home after the fact; out on a porch sitting next to one another, alone in comfortable silence! He saves the seeds to make into snacks later

Hoodie:

A little more willing to go out! I feel like he's the easiest in terms of talking into stuff! As long as it's not anything dangerous he's more than willing to spend time with you.... all the better to keep his eye on you.. both in a cute aww he wants to protect you way and a creepy way but hey that's creepypasta for you

If they're offering shitty quickly constructed rides count him in, he's going to be the one dragging you!

While I'm not sure what rides would be there I'm sure there'd be but you're gonna be there for way longer than originally planned

Saving this for another day but Ferris Wheel trope where it gets stuck, one of y'all totally shouldn't send in a character for me to do that for wink wink nudge nudge

Probably the most emotive you see Hoodie, ever, it's actually a little jarring at first but it's cute in it's own way that he's getting all hyped up over some rides

overall? y'all forget to actually. pick pumpkins so you guys have to almost immediately return to go browse at the pumpkins that remain. Does the thing where you knock on produce to make sure it sounds right. Does he know what he's going or what he's looking for? No clue but hey there's that mental image, Hoodie kneeling down on the ground, head pressed against a pumpkin and tapping it

Ticci Toby:

Pretends to not wanna go but really he's totally fucking stoked that you wanna go somewhere with him, him? like him him? Toby? Well if you insist-

That bit sounded mean but I believe Toby feels.... I don't know how to put it but like I think it's because he used to be bullied and left out that he still gets a little surprised when you willingly invite him to hang out; not that he's complaining though

Haunted corn maze. This fucker beelines for the corn maze. You have lost your silly friend with an affinity for collecting empty snail shells (hc)

Good luck trying to find him, if it's one of those mazes with scare actors he's not going to flinch or scream so there goes your audio cue

Eventually you do find him though! So it's not totally disastrous! It just takes you upwards of fifteen minutes because you yourself got lost before looping back to the entrance, only to find this little shit sitting right by the entrance

Seriously how the fuck did he do that?

No clue

You know how sometimes pumpkins are bumpy or a lil... off looking? Leave it to this fucker to make several jokes about how they look, primarily ragging on the bumpier ones

"Hey look, it looks like you" "shut the fuck up"/j

Generally a very good time as long as you ignore the small heart attack you got when Toby disappeared! Good luck cleaning the mess after carving up your pumpkins

He probably tries to see what the guts taste like

idk what raw pumpkin guts taste like

not sure if its any good because ive only tried pre canned pumpkin puree and used it for baking so idk if it tastes good straight from the source

[louloulemons-posts]

The Criminal And The Princess II

Grumpy!College!Eddie X Sunshine!Skater!Reader

Summary : Edens dad is pushing her to breaking point, but when Steve Harrington suggests going to a gig, they stumble upon who she never thought she’d see.

Word Count : 2k

Warnings : not much eddie (i’m sorry), shitty parents, once again talk of eating, girlhood, nancy is sad, swearing, billy hargrove.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Again!”

“Dad I have to go I have class,” I sighed, skating towards him. “Regionals are coming up how are you expecting to win if you’re still so sloppy?” he snapped at me.

“Maybe I don’t want to win! Maybe I don’t even wanna go to fucking regionals!”

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that!”

“I’m telling you the truth!”

“Your mother-“ I didn’t give him the chance to finish, “I’m not mom!”

With a deep breath, i spoke calmly, “I know you miss her, god dad I do too, but me skating, won’t bring her back.” The man who I love so dearly didn’t say a word, his dark eyes stern. “Just go Eden.”

“Dad-“

“And don’t worry about dinner on Friday.”

“Dad come on-“

“You need to lose the weight anyways.” I sucked in a breath, but said nothing more as I watched the greying man walk up the stairs and slamming the door to his office.

Rubbing my hand to my face I sat down on the cold plastic bench, taking off my skates and replacing them with my trainers. Throwing my oversized hoodie on, I headed out of the rink and to my car.

“E!” a voice called out.

“Harrington,” I replied, as the brunette jogged over the parking lot to me. “Hey- woah you look like shit!”

“Yeah 4:30 starts will do that to a girl,” I shrugged, throwing my bag in the back.

“Sorry that was rude of me,” he said, but I brushed him off with a smile. “What can I do for you Stevie boy?”

“So my friend has gig after the match on Friday, I was wondering if you wanted to come? Obviously I’ve invited the rest of the gang.”

“Did you really just say gang?”

“Yeah, I regret it, shut up. Do you wanna come?”

“I have training the next-“ my brows furrowed, dad’s words echoing in my head, “You know what, yeah it sounds fun.

“Great, I’m gonna text Robin all the details so, I’ll see you around.”

“See you.”

Well that was something to look forward too.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Sat in class the professor droned on and on, Vickie was almost asleep besides me. I felt my phone buzz in pocket, taking it out I saw a message from Robin.

Robs : soooo a little dingus said you’re coming to a certain gig this friday? 👀

E : figured it was time i had some fun

E : lets be honest its a rare occasion

Robs : im actually so excited for this!!!!!

E : yeah me too, and you’re gonna be extra excited when i tell you who else is coming 😚

Putting my phone down on my notebook I nudged Vickie. “Hm,” she said rubbing her eyes, then brushed an auburn curl from her face.

“Sorry did I fall asleep?” I huffed a laugh,

“A little, but that’s not why I’m waking you. Are you free Friday?”

“I think so yeah, what’s up?”

“Wanna come to a gig?”

“Who’s gig?”

“Not sure yet, but me and a few friends are going, Nancy, Steve, oh and you know Robin right?”

“R-robin?” she stuttered.

“Yeah! I could text you the details, it’d be nice to hang out when we’re not studying.”

She nodded, cheeks flushed slightly, “Yeah cool, just text me.” I returned the nod, picking my phone back up.

Robs : who???

Robs : ????

Robs : did you die???

E : lmao no very much alive

Robs : who’s coming???

E : Vickie

Robs : …

E : love youuuuuu 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Robs : EDEN I SWEAR TOENDJSKSJSKSJJDJD

With a laugh I put my phone away and attempted to focus on this mind numbing lecture.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Friday rolled around really quickly, people were so ready for the weekend already. Who knew summer break would be missed already.

“I’m still not over the fact your dad said that to you?” Nancy said, whilst taming her curls.

“It’s fine, it’s not like it’s out of the ordinary.”

“Are you sure I can’t kick him in the throat?”

“I really don’t wanna have to bail you out of jail Robs.”

She hummed, “Yeah that’s true, would not look good for my future.”

“Dads are so shit!” Nancy exclaimed out of nowhere. “Nance-“ I began.

“No! I Robins dad walked out, your dad bullies you and my dad acts like I don’t fucking exist. Why do these men have kids and then treat them like trash?”

The girl was flinging her arms around like crazy, huffing angrily. “Nance, but the hairbrush down you’ll hurt yourself,” Robin said. The girl placed it to the floor, kneeling down behind her, I met her gaze in the mirror.

“What happened?” I asked. She looked at me with glassy eyes. “Mom called, yesterday she was going out to that meal, you know the one for her friends birthday?”

Me and Robin both gave her affirming nods, “Well Mike was working a shift at the record store and dad was picking Holly up from school,” she let out a shaky breath.

“It’s okay,” I said, hugging her from behind, resting my chin on her shoulder. “He forgot her, was sat at home watching a game. She was there for hours, when Mike came home he found him passed out on the couch.”

“Is Holly okay?” Robin asked, sliding off Nancys bed and down next to us. The brunette nodded, “Yeah, a teacher stayed with her and Mike went to get her. Mom got so mad and then you know what he said?”

I rubbed her shoulder, and Robin squeezed her hand. “He said, ‘Oh Nancy was supposed to get her,’” she choked on a sob, “He didn’t even know I was gone!”

“Oh Nance,” I said, pulling her back to hug me, Robin went to her front, wrapping her arms around us both. “Dads are the worst,” Robs said. “They really are!” I agreed.

“I swear Jonathan, Will and El are the only ones who got a decent one!” Robin laughed. “H-Hoppers a good man,” Nancy sniffled.

“You know what we’re gonna do tonight?” I asked pulling away from the hug, going to face Nancy, I wiped the tears from her face.

“What?” she asked.

“We’re gonna go to that game and cheer on our guy Harrington! And then, we’re gonna go to that gig and drink and dance and celebrate the badass women who raised us!”

“That sounds like the best plan,” Robin smiled, “You up for it Nance?”

“Yeah! Let’s go celebrate our moms.”

“And also get Robin a girlfriend!”

Me and Nancy laughed as Robin fell back, groaning into her hands. “What about you? You got your eye on anyone?” Nancy asked, cleaning up her tear stained face.

“Nah.”

“Oh come on E!”

“Seriously there’s nobody,” I laughed. “Plus I’m happy enough being wingwoman, I mean you and Johnny are getting to 2 years now?”

“Yeah,” the girl couldn’t hide her smile, “Speaking of, he’ll be here soon so, get ready!” She shooed us out of her room with a laugh.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Come on Harrington!” I cheered, jumping up and down. The game was almost over and our guys were down 6 points. Jonathans friend Argyle let out a loud whoop as the puck hit the back of the net.

“Let’s go dingus!” Robin shouted. I looked up from the ice briefly, my eyes meeting my fathers. His face looked like its normal stern self, but he looked sad?

I know I shouldn’t have yelled at him, specially not about mom, but god he shouldn’t have said the things he did either.

Suddenly I felt arms wrapped around me and the siren went, signalling the game was over. “We won!” Robin screamed. I looked at the score board, we were up by 2 points.

With a smile, I put my arms around the girl, giving her a squeeze. Leaning over the side of the seats, Steve walked past, “Go on Harrington!” we all cheered for him, making him smile bashfully.

“I’ll meet you guys after,” he said walking away. “No cheers for me Eden?” a vile voice came. “In your dreams Hargrove.”

“Oh they’re more than cheers in the dreams gorgeous.”

“Gross, “Robin said from behind me.

“You okay Benny?” Jonathan asked. Benny was a nickname he’d decided on when we were in kindergarten, apparently Eden was a weird name, but I thought Johnathan was too old so,” All good Johnny.”

The rink soon cleared out and we decided to wait by our cars for Steve. “Eden,” a deep voice called from behind. Dad was stood at the end of the hallway, Robin held my hand, Nancy appearing on the other side.

“It’s okay, I’ll catch up,” I said, walking towards the man. “What’s up?” I asked.

“I … I just wanted to apolo-“ he was cut off when the team of hollering boys ran by, Steve being one of them.

“Coach Bennett,” the boy smiled, swinging his arm over my shoulder. “Steve, good match,” the man offered him a smile, I hadn’t had one of those in a long time.

“Sorry I interrupted,” Steve spoke.

“It’s okay, what did you want to say dad?”

“Take a break this weekend, no training, but I expect you to do a morning and evening practice on Monday. Yrene is back from maternity leave so she’ll be training you.”

I sighed, but spoke through gritted teeth, “Great, thanks dad.” I turned to Steve, “Let’s go,” almost dragging the boy down the hall.

“We could get lunch on Sunday?” My dad called after me.

“What?”

“Lunch. I know dinner isn’t an option tonight, go have fun. Let me know if you’re free Sunday.” I gave him a nod, before I did drag Steve down the hall.

“That was weird,” he said when we got out into the fresh hair, you could feel that autumn was rolling around fast. “I know, who knew that Ethan Bennett wasn’t always an ass,” I said.

“Everything okay?” Nancy asked as we headed to the car. “Yeah all good, now let’s go!”

“What’s the name of the band your friends in again?” Jonathan asked.

“Corroded Coffin, and I gave you the address right?” Jonathan nodded, consuming, “The hideout right?”

“Yeah that’s the one, E does that friend of yours need a ride?”

I felt Robin go stiff beside me, “Vickie? Nah she’s being dropped off by her brother.”

“Cool, let’s go then!”

“I swear I’m gonna kill you,” Robin muttered. “What was that?” She gave me a sickly sweet smile, linking our arms, “Nothing!”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

The bar known as The Hideout was packed, I recognised some faces from college, everyone was here to have a good time. Onto your second drink, I smiled as I saw a familiar redhead.

“Vickie!” I called out.

“Hey,” she smiled, making her way through a crowd of people. “Come and meet the guys.” Taking her hand I led her over to my friends.

“Everyone!” I shouted to get their attention, “This is Vickie, we’re in history together.”

She raised a hand, offering a smile to them. “Vickie this is Steve, Nancy, Jonathan,” he cringed when I said his name,” Argyle and you know Robin.”

“Yeah, hi,” she smiled.

“Hey um … can I get you a drink?”

“Uh yeah sure, cool.” Oh my god they were so cute. When the pair walked away me and Nancy squealed.

“Alright folks we have our next act of the evening for you, give it up for Indianas own, Corroded Coffin!” A man shouted into the mic.

The five of us walked into the crowd getting to the front, standing by the stage, I was excited to see Steve’s buddy.

Out walked 3 boys, one sitting behind the drum set and the others picking up guitars. Taking a sip of my drink, I regretted it right away, almost choking when I saw the final member walk out on stage.

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed.

“Good evening Indiana!” he shouted. He looked so different, so alive, his curls falling down his back, freely allowed to do so. His dark eyes shining with mischief and joy.

“We’re Corroded Coffin and we’re here to rock your world for the next hour or so! Are! You! Ready!”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

They meet again 👀

This part was mainly me healing the parental issues in stranger things with friendship lmao.

taglist : @gnrquinn @flawiette @taylorswiftsloverfr @mygirlchaos @marvelcasey05 @ali-r3n @browneyes8288

let me know if you want to be added 🫶🏻

[petewentzisblack1312]

i'm sorry about what you're going through 💔 it's hard but i believe you can stay strong and get through it 🫂

i am having such a hard time. sorry to just kind of use this as an excuse to dump all this junk but

my grandfather passed away suddenly last week, and the last time i met him in person i was a baby in arms so i never really met him in person, id only really talked to him over the phone except for one very shitty skype call like a decade ago. so i didnt really know what he looked like until hours after he was pronounced dead. and i have a lot of complicated feelings and resentment and shame about that related to bigger complexes and trauma i have. and ive been really really looking forward to the funeral because itll be the first and only time i see him in person, and its an opportunity to see all my mothers family, because i havent met a lot of them in person, but theyre so much more loving than my fathers side of the family who are very vindictive and cruel. and my mother cant get her tax return back in time to pay for my ticket and i have like, no money. definitely not enough for a flight to jamaica. (people do not get their tax returns back here its ridiculous and extremely depressing so shes owed a lot from like a 6 year period 6 years ago). so now im depending on my financially and emotionally abusive dad for yet another thing that matters deeply to me that he can use to ruin my life for some vindictive reason. and i dont trust that he wouldnt refuse just to hurt me, and even if he does pay for it i know hes gonna hold it against me. i dont really care that much if he does because i already missed out on seeing my grandfather, i dont want to miss anyone else. but i really worry that hes going to say no, or pretend to say no to stress us out or something. im just really not in a good way right now i wont lie.

[zai-doodles]

Ok ok last question then I’ll stop bothering you lol (but I eagerly look forward to anything you will say in the future about fairytail!)

I think I got your thoughts on Nalu, but what about other ships? You said Gajeel and Levy are your fav ship, could you tell us more why? What about Gray x Juvia? Do you have a least favorite ship?

(And don’t be sorry for rambling a lot/your posts being long! I really enjoy reading your thoughts!)

bestie i literally love u i never have the chance to post my ft hc stuff im THRIVING

aight so im going to make enemies with this post i can feel it in my bones gjkfdhgsfdkj

however i just want to say if u like these ships thats completely fine and if you read them diffrently than i do thats also dope

so lets start positive!! i LOVE gajevy sm its so perfect i just ljdghfkjd

no listen like the thing that gets me abt gajevy is how it elevates gajeel as a character SO MUCH and gives levy so much agency at the same time, like u cant tell me ft would have embraced gajeel the way they did if levy didnt CHOOSE to forgive gajeel in some capacity and like fuck imagine ur GAJEEL in this situation like bro wakes up everyday and this is just his life

gajeel lost metalica at a young age, and (i dont remember too much of canon but im pretty sure its implied he just kinda fucked around until phantom tropue picked him up which yikes) like this CHILD was on his own most of his formative years and then got picked up by a super shitty abusive group of ppl and he just LEARNED to blend in, like yea metalica made him kind of a punk but he was a KID so during those years he was alone he probably just closed himself off to survive and learned to prioritize himself over everybody else and to do that it takes a level of desensitizing urself to others pain

and like ok again im playing hard and fast with canon but i THINK its implied he like, had done a lot of bad shit with them or whatever right? like what he did to levy and fairy tail wasn't NEW, so when the events in canon happen and he ends up at fairy tail, in my mind that's the FIRST TIME he has to face how HIS ACTIONS DIRECTLY HURT SOMEONE

and not only thats but someone who OBJECTIVELY DIDN'T DESERVE IT

like ugh gajeel just,, having to learn to let himself care but also it fucking sucks bc it just makes it set in more and more what a bad person he is (he isnt but he thinks he is) THEN FUCKING LEVY PULLS UP AND JUST?? IS THE BEST???

she literally blows thro all his expectations of her bc at this point i think hes use to dealing with ppl being afraid of him bc that ssomething he understands and control, what he DOESNT understand is her being NICE to him and it makes him RESPECT her and its so out of no where that by the time the GMG roles around and gajeel has fully accepted the fact that he indeed has emotions like everyone else, ONLY TO HAVE TO FACE LEVY BEING SCARED OF HIM AGAIN

learning to put others needs above his own and being empathetic in his own fucked up way

ok enough positivity time to make ppl mad

gonna link my juvia is a lesbian post here bc it sums up a LOT of my feelings on gruvia but the tldr is that my personal hc is that juvia is a lesbian with a serious case of comp het from trying to fit in with other kids growing up and it literally was just never corrected until she got to fairy tail and actively started to form friendships

the main reason i dislike gruvia is that it paints gray as the one who needs to change in order to accept juvias feelings and not just cuz he needs to grow as a person and learn to allow himself to be vunrable.

like grays arc doesnt ONLY center around juvia but its a big part of it and juvias growth CENTERS around gray and we can talk about the the borderline misogynist idea of having a female character whos damn near whole identity is her feelings for a man where she never grows or learns meaningfully but instead just very slowly chills out more so from being sidelined than growth but i digress i just dont like them

last is jerza,, i just dont like em,, jellal is really boring in my opinion and he had a lot of potential but meh? his redemption is neat and his history with erza has potential but i feel like the point of erzas arc is about growth and moving on and while i think her and jellal can still be friends and have each others back she still has so much healing to do after tower of heaven

idk i dont see a lot wrong with jerza i just feel like its a lil bland and not my cup of tea

and yes queer platonic nalu is my life id die for them actually and i have more stuff about natsus abandonment issues and how they carry into his relationships with ppl but imma stop bc this post is long jgkfhgdjhfdjk

tldr: i love gajevy, actively dislike gruvia, very meh about jerza, love qpp nalu

[malka-lisitsa]

`➠⠀:⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ GETTING TO KNOW YOU

respond to the following prompts out of character. then, tag nine others that you would like to get to know a little bit better.

`➠⠀:⠀⠀ ROLEPLAYER NAME :⠀⠀ ησνємвєя ( Novi )

`➠⠀:⠀⠀ ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS :⠀⠀ She / her

`➠⠀:⠀⠀ MUSE NAME :⠀⠀ Katherine Pierce

`➠⠀:⠀⠀ PREFERRED COMMUNICATIONS / discord or tumblr messages for out of character chat? :⠀Discord I HATE tumblr DM's with a passion.

`➠⠀:⠀⠀ EXPERIENCE / how long you’ve roleplayed:⠀⠀For a very long time, but on the internet? On and off since 2k5? Tumblr on and off since 2k12.

`➠⠀:⠀⠀ PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE / fluff, smut, or angst? :⠀⠀I am an angst queen, I will write angst all day everyday. I actually do not like fluff most of the time I think it's boring. F

`➠⠀:⠀⠀ PET PEEVES AND DEALBREAKERS :

⠀poor characterization is my number one. I just can not stand.... I've never been shy about this I HATE shitty characterizations. Like care, a little please- or just write an OC and use the FC.

I am not a fan of changed FC's but its not a deal breaker just hate them- its a personal preference idgaf why ppl do it youre allowed- it just irritates me PERSONALLY but isn't a deal breaker.

purity culture in the RPC being more bigoted than the bible and trying to run ppl off the net for writing villain characters as villains. Touch grass.

Anon hate its almost 2024 find something to do with your time that is productive. You are not accomplishing anything you are not a hero touch grass.

REPLIES THAT DONT MOVE THE SCENE OR PLOT FORWARD. I do not care if you match length but you gotta move the scene forward. If I have to carry the whole RP on my back Im gonna drop it and it's gonna be harder for you to get a new one going with me.

People that act like your worth is only in your replies. You can follow someone to support them and bc you like seeing their stuff, it does not have to be a write or die community. You can be friends, it's possible.

The sexism towards female OC's and how they get judged twice as hard and over looked twice as hard as Male oc's.

`➠⠀:⠀⠀ PLOTS OR MEMES? :⠀⠀Yes.

`➠⠀:⠀⠀ LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES? :⠀⠀ I don't really do a lot of one liners anymore unless I know they're just for quick banter or will turn into longer replies. I prefer the ability to really dive into Katherine's mindset in the moment.

`➠⠀:⠀⠀ BEST TIME TO WRITE? :⠀I do not sleep and there for any time I am able to focus on they keyboard.

`➠⠀:⠀⠀ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE? :⠀⠀God here come the anons. But Yes. I am a lot like Katherine, we've been through a lot of similar things and learned similar behaviors to survive. We both can come off charismatic or distant at the flip of a switch, we both have a rage temper, we both have confidence, and we're both constantly rolling our eyes at whoever has a problem with us today <3 I however am not violent like she is so that's good. I'm actually surprisingly a pacifist, and I try to be there for people no matter what they've put me through. So. There's our differences too.

Tagged by: @prodijedi

Tagging: @hargrove @havvkinsqueen @klaeus @saralans @achillesbled @ataviisms @ruinedmyself and you. take this tag me go.

[weathernerdmando]

so i have a doctors appointment tomorrow with a new primary doctor and im going to get situated with them bc i need a place to get my adhd medication, but im also gonna ask if they could do at least a preliminary or whatever evaluation for elhers danlos or hypermobility spectrum disorder or something along those lines. and im hesitantly looking forward to that. bc i would really like some answers.

gonna put my reasonings behind a readmore (this is mostly for myself but also if anyone who’s offically diagnosed sees this and has thoughts on it you’re totally welcome to).

in short, something is wrong, even if it’s not ehlers danlos or hsd like i suspect right now.

Its not just bc of the joint issues that i want to look into it honestly. its the joints, yes, but its the Moderate to Severeish (i think i was borderline for surgery iirc, 40 degree curve lower back, 30 degree upper before treatment, its probably back to around close there bc i haven't been to the chiro in probably 6 months now?) scoliosis, the gi issues (fucked up hunger signals (rn, for example, i dont get them half the time even if i know i havent eaten in close to 24 hours, as well as just not feeling hungry but knowing i need to eat bc im shakey, irritated, anxious and unable to focus), constipation that feels like im getting stabbed that i just have to wait out, stretchy and soft skin, the heel lump thingies (can’t spell the offical term), i think the stretch marks, the high and crowded palate, the inability to write for longer than 2 minutes without severe cramps and pain (amongst other issues with my hands, apparently i dont just suck at using chopsticks, my fingers are straight up collapising and htey shouldn’t be. apparently.). i had a submucus cleft palate as a kid, which was surgically corrected (i dont have a uvula lol!) as well as at least one eye muscle surgery and at least one ear surgery for tubes (possibly two, i can’t remember). i still have really shitty vision (-6.5 in left, -3.5 in right, and they’re crosseyed when i take my glasses off. this is with corrective surgery and wearing a patch on my right to make my left eye stronger). as well as the back pain, the neck pain, etc.

I also have what i’d guess is a 4/5 ish to possibly a -8 out of 9 on the beighton. thumbs to wrist - check. elbows - check. i think my knees might actually hyperextend after all, but im not sure, what i do know is i dont think ive ever passed out bc my knees were locked/all the way back and ive stood in that position for a while before. If im standing with the kneecaps forwards but the feet angled, i think that’s where i can see it. The other thing is one of my pinkies is iffy (depends on the day, and i think it doesn’t quite go to 90), and the other i think is at 90 but im not sure, and that one also depends on the day. so at minimum, 4, at highest, 8 i think. 

My ribs also go under my hip on my right side if i just. Lean over. Fun to show people but that is most likely not fucking normal. My upper and lower ribs move and some of them Shouldn’t. If this gets me answers as to why sometimes it feels like something catches in my chest (one of my boobs, usually my left) and makes breathing Fucking Painful I’ll be thrilled. And my scapulas *definitely* move in a way they shouldn’t and I suspect my shoulders might actually too. As well as my ankles (what do you mean that ballerinas work to stretch like i can do normally?? also the ankle injuries and the growing-pains-that-might-not-be-growing-pains-especially-since-they’re-still-happening as a kid??) and i swear my right wrist either didn’t heal properly or something else is wrong bc a) it shouldn’t be clicking i don’t think and b) i dont think the bones are supposed to sit like they do. And also my hips. something is up with those but idk exactly what but i think you’re not supposed to be able to do what i can.

im autistic and adhd too which raise the chances Something is up bc they’re incredibly comorbid, as does having the scoliosis i think.

just hoping if they don’t know, they won’t say well nothing is wrong, but maybe “we dont know, lets refer you to someone who does” even if I can’t afford that yet.  

[sonicboomseason3]

Hi, I can relate. Just feeling down atm ): Many, many problems going on. I haven't send an ask to anyone in agessss. Hmm. I guess my question would be - what are your thoughts on the new Sonic Prime trailer? I've been a fan of Boom since it was first announced but I will always love Boom. A guy can balance multiple (yet similar) favourite shows! :)

hi, thanks for writing in!! ......why did i type that i sound like a podcaster doing a q&a session

anyway i was pretty excited to just have something after months of not getting anything, so even if it was short and still a teaser rather than an actual trailer, i really liked it!! the visuals, animation, and fight choreography are sick and i already ADORE deven mack as sonic <3 ive also always been a sucker for stories about multiple universes so im just really looking forward to prime in general

though im going to go off on a bit of a tangent here so dont read if you dont want to hear this: ive been growing weary of shadow discourse for a while but this teaser was really the catalyst to me realizing just how much i fucking hate all the arguments that surround his character! id be lying if i said that certain peoples reactions werent a major factor contributing to the already shitty week i was having. inb4 im not trying to disrespect anyone or their opinions whatever they may be so please dont take this as a personal attack but i truly despise how sonic and shadow cant fight for 5 seconds on screen (with no context!) without this widespread panic that hes just going to be a pointless rival. you know, even though he and sonic have always fought? because their personalities clash? because they have different methods of handling problems that arise? theyve BEEN fighting aklsdjflas the only time shadow fought sonic just to spite him was in boom and boom!shadow does not count. say what you want about boom!shadow but he does. not. count. other medias like sonic x and idw all had them fight with actual stakes involved which is perfectly fine and normal and how conflict usually works

at this point i just want sega to come out and explain their entire agenda with shadow post-06 is (as well as how they see him in comparison to everything before that) like i know thats not gonna happen and obviously it wont stop people from disagreeing with the direction theyve taken him in (and again its fine if they do), but at least everyone could finally be on the same page. because with the way things currently are, theres no way someone can give their opinion on how they perceive shadows character (no matter what it is or how much evidence they have to back it up) without being called media illiterate by people who have just as easily disputable interpretations. i personally would love to talk extensively about how i see him and explain why that is the case but i wont because i dont want annoying people setting off my anxiety by accusing me of not understanding the fictional hedgehog <333

(yes i know this applies to pretty much all of the sonic characters at this point but shadows the big one and also relevant dont @ me)

[zarafey]

one again, vent incoming

its my birthday and im sitting here crying because god beware i get a little bit sad and or mad at stm my mom did.

Yesterday she offered to cook my favourite meal today for lunch, very nice, really thoughtful, i was looking forward to it a lot. i asked if we could eat lunch at 2pm (we usually eat rather late at 3/4pm). Since i also have to finish my bachelor thesis by the 28th i dont really have a lot of time for celebrating or anything, but i did have a plan for today. We eat lunch by 2, finish by ~2:30, and I take my adhd meds (need a bit longer to work after eating, but the side effects are much more manageable). they usually take around 1h to fully work so theres a window for chilling a bit and having some cake. I get to work at 3-4pm, work til 8-9pm (using my most productive time of the day as well), day done, all is well.

... by 2:30pm i went upstairs to see what's going on, i find my mom in her office, she was still working, the food hasn't even been started. well, she forgot the time, bit unfortunate but ok, i do the same often enough, sure i was already really hungry (since i ate a bit less breakfast bc i was looking forward to lunch), and i was getting pretty stressed (my whole plan is getting pushed back), but the food isnt that elaborate and needs like 30-45 minutes, so eating around 3 is still alright, we ate at 3 yesterday and that was fine.

at around 3:30 i started getting nervous again. I go upstairs, food still needs another half hour, my mom already feels extremely bad and was so hectic that she cut herself, after calming her down, preparing the rest, and putting it in the oven i go to the toilet, to cry, bc fuck my whole day is starting to fall apart. eating by 4 means i really need to speed through eating bc i need to take my meds as soon as possible, because the later i take them the later i can get to sleep, the less sleep i get for tomorrow. so i cry, let it all out and stuff bc god knows i cant actually express any of that frustration in front of my mom by then she will feel even more horrible and then i can play emotional regulator again and i really dont have the brain for that when im already very stressed and frustrated. So that will just lead to me being an ass to my mom and then she will feel bad and i will also feel bad and its all around not a good time.

so i have my little cry at the toilet, meanwhile the food finishes cooking. I put it all back down again, go to the meal, my appetite is already gone but hey its still my favourite so ill enjoy it, i take a bite, its horrible, way too many spices, i cant even taste the zucchini. pretty much the last straw, so close to breaking out in tears right there at the table. ofc my mom notices, asks whats wrong, starts the whole self loathing shit and the endless apologies i was trying so hard to avoid. lunch is pretty much ruined, i eat quickly and in silence, i go down and take my meds, start crying and writing this post to get it all out. My mom comes in and starts the whole "im so sorry, i ruined everything, is it very bad that we ate so late? is it still gonna be ok? im so sorry etc etc etc" and fuck i just do not have the brain to do all the calm reassuring she is asking for so i snap, say some shitty things, now im crying even more and feel like a complete ass.

Like damn what tf do i do now bc i cant seem to calm down but i still need to fkn work on my thesis and i just wanted to have a nice birthday and some cake.

[pesterloglog]

Jane Crocker, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 5815-5819

GG: Is everything ok?

TG: yeah he just wanted to make sure i dont hate him like yall do which you dont even

GG: I... see.

TG: so im just talking to him a bit to help him not feel bad

TG: sorry

GG: That's ok.

GG: You were saying?

TG: i was gonna say why i finally quit drinkin

TG: i mean if you want to know

GG: Yes.

GG: Actually, once you did stop, it made me finally realize it was a problem for you for a long time.

GG: And I didn't say anything at the time, but it made me wonder if I wasn't doing the right thing before.

GG: By failing to point out you might have a problem? Or just going along with it and participating in lively banter any time you clearly had too much to drink?

GG: Was I just being a bad friend?

TG: nah it wasnt your responsibility to fix my shit

TG: and anyway i think i made it hard for anyone to come at me like it was a real problem

TG: i was always joking around so much and havin a good time like kind of overzealously so

TG: that i probably just made people feel like a shitty wet blanket for even mentioning it

GG: How long do you think it's been a problem?

TG: i dont know its hard to say exactly when i started getting real carried away

TG: just at some point i discovered a load of my moms centurys old booze in the house

TG: and i didnt have much to relate to her by except her books

TG: so i felt like drinking was a way to be more like her

TG: or be closer to her kinda

TG: and there was nobody around except the silly chess people

TG: who in a way just made me feel more alone

TG: cause they reminded me i was only one of two humans left and the other was an ocean away

TG: so little by little

TG: i got out of hand

TG: and one of the only things i had to look forward to was the idea that the game was supposed to be able to bring my mom back

TG: assuming i even decided to help the batterwitch out by playing at all

GG: But it turned out you couldn't bring her back. At least not the way you thought.

GG: So what was it that made you finally decide to give it up?

TG: well

TG: thats pretty much what it was

TG: when i first went to lopan i saw my sprite there

TG: so i got out my bottle of momslime and was all ready for the bestest most poignant reunion ever

TG: and thats when the juggalo struck

TG: and i just knew the witch had fucked me over AGAIN

TG: cause what other hag is insane enough to get juggalos to do her dirty biz nigh exclusively???

TG: NO HAGS BUT HER

TG: and i was so pissed and so distraught about that goddamn clown squandering my sprite

TG: so i got crazy drunk and felt the super sorriest for myself i ever did

TG: but little did i know there would be a lovely silver lining to the debacle

GG: Dear, sweet, precious Fefeta!

TG: :3

TG: she became a great friend

TG: and whats more was she told me not to worry

TG: that my mom would be comin anyway and all i had to do was wait a while

TG: and i believed her cause she knew stuff + was THA BEST

TG: so thats when i decided to clean up my act

TG: i didnt want her to meet a sloppy embarrassing mess of a daughter

TG: even if she did like to drink at some point it was kind of a childish idea that doing so myself would make me closer to her or help us bond or whatever

TG: anyway i think i might of overestimated her drinkin habits

TG: she sure didnt look like no drunk

TG: oh!

TG: jane did i mention

TG: i saw her in a dream today!

GG: No!

TG: shes real young tho

TG: like our age

TG: and she looks so pretty and happy

TG: not like a girl w booze challenges

TG: i think her fav color must be orange just like dirk

TG: she was wearin the same sunny orange nighty deal i caught a glimpse of her in v briefly another time

TG: and oh...

TG: she also called me mom?

GG: Huh?

TG: huh is right

TG: u know im really not sure if shes actually my mom

TG: but i do know were totes genetically related somehow

TG: i just think theres more to it than we know

GG: I guess we'll find out!

GG: Whoa...

GG: The whole place was shaking for a moment there.

TG: wut

[freya-duke]

A Killing Melody

—————————————————————

A soft song was heard in the depths of the woods, it was heard each and every night, it was light and soft, as if the song that was sung was a lullaby. The woods are never to be entered as long as that soft song goes on, everyone always says, “No matter how sweet the melody, it’s deadly, it’s a killing melody and you are never permitted to enter these woods.”. No one can understand why or how such a sweet song can have such a tragic end. No one but some dumb teens, some dumb teens that seem to not know that actions always have a consequence. ————————————————————————————————————

“You guys I really don’t think we should- What about the warning, I don’t think we should honestly…”

“You’re being a wuss, now shut up and either follow us or stay, we don't need you complaining about how quiet we should be or where we should step. If you are so worried about what your “precious mommy” would say then stay behind.”

“Ash- stop being rude-”

“Oh shut up Richie- I wouldn’t be so rude if he wasn't such a “Mama’s boy” all the fucking time.”

By this time Ash had hopped over the small wooden fence that covered the woods, Richie hopping the fence, following behind. Richie looked back towards Ellijah, expecting to see him walking away or gone, but he wasn't walking away nor did he leave, Ellijah had hopped the fence to follow the other two boys and he was next to Ash.

A loud smack rang throughout the forest, Ellijah had hit Ash. His face was red with the imprint of a hand, he looked stunned that Ellijah had the guts, the courage, to actually hit him. Richie didn’t know how to react, just standing there in disbelief that Ellijah, the same Ellijah that was just complaining about going in the forest, the same Ellijah that never stood up for himself, had hit Ash.

“Don’t you dare call me that, I am not a “mama's boy”, and don't you even think about saying anything else about my mother, no “precious mommy” or shit like that you hear me”

Ellijah’s voice deepened, his voice laced with anger, his face darkened. Mumbling something under his breath we walked away from the two boys, reaching and hopping the fence once more, disappearing into the dark, leaving the two alone.

“What a dick, let's go Richie, find out where that shitty melody is coming from.”

Richie just nodded his head, following after Ash, leading the two deeper into the forest.

Half an hour later, the two boys were deep into the forest, far away from the small wooden fence that should have held them back yet didn't. Huffing the boys sat down under a big looming tree, taking a break from their walk.

“When is that dumb fucking melody gonna start, its been 30 minutes already and that shit hasn’t been sung once.”

“Maybe it just needs more ti-”

Stopping mid sentence, Richie and Ash looked at one another, the song had started. It was odd to them hearing it, something that they were only able to hear from a distance seemed so close now. The two looked at each other, gasping in awe, rising from their resting spot the boys looked around trying to find the direction the melody came from yet it seemed to come from all around.

The wind had picked up tremendously, tearing off the leaves from branches and bushes that were planted in the forest ground. The wind was gushing, switching from left to right, leaving the boys to shut their eyes to keep dirt from getting in.

After a couple minutes of the wind blowing and gushing it soon died down, leaving the boys stunned by the sudden wind.

“The FUCK was that”

“How should I know! I’m just as confused as you are Ash”

“Confused my ass, fuck this shit. I ain’t getting caught up in some freaky fucking storm.”

“Hold up dude! Our shit we can’t just leave it-”

“Fuck that, grab it if you want but im out”

Ash started walking away, not looking back, just looking forward.

“Ash wait- please”

“I told you, come with me now or grab the shit and get left behi-”

Looking back toward Richie who was grabbing the items that had been dropped, Ash saw a blinding light behind him. He stopped in his tracks, gasping as he shielded his eyes from the blinding light.

“There’s some sort of fucking light behind you richie, be careful”

“What are you even talking about- it’s almost pitch black out here-”

Screaming, Richie was pulled back,,pulled into the white light, pulled into the tree, everything being dropped and scattered.

“ RICHIE! RICHIE WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO”

Ash ran towards the tree, kicking and hitting it, he screamed and screamed, yelling to whatever took his friend to give him back. His knuckles were bruised and bloody at this point, his feet were aching, his head pounding. He then just stopped, tears streaming down his face, wiping his face with his bloodied hands, he fell to the ground.

“Richie… I'm sorry man. I’m sorry I dragged you out here with me, I should have listened to him..”

‘SNAP’

Quickly turning, he looked behind him, yet seeing nothing.

“Is someone there? Richie is that you-”

“He’s dead Ash. You killed him. I warned you, I told you it was dangerous coming out here. But did you listen? No- because you NEVER FUCKING LISTEN”

“You? What are you doing here- What do you mean he’s dead- he can't be.. Wait- how did you find me? I thought you left. Why are you here Ellijah..?”

Ellijah looked at Ash, walking towards him a twisted smile came across his face. Ash started scooting back, trying to escape the boy yet to no avail soon hitting the tree with his back. Looking up to Ellijah, he covered his head with his arms, waiting to be striked yet it never happened.

The wind started blowing harshly once more, that white light returned, lighting brighter than before. The song also had started once more, Ash was confused, he looked in every direction yet couldn't see anything, he went into sensory overload, he couldn’t see anything but white, he couldn’t hear anything but that song and couldn’t feel anything but the dirt that was underneath him.

Minutes after it all had stopped, Ash opened his eyes and stood up. He saw Ellijah and a tall woman in white standing next to him. They looked like each other, same hair, same eyes, same face.

Looking at Ellijah, Ash’s face turned white, his mind wandered back to the beginning, back to the fence.

‘Flashback’

‘Mumbling something under his breath we walked away from the two boys, reaching and hopping the fence once more, disappearing into the dark, leaving the two alone.’

“I warned you Ash and you didn't listen and you know what, maybe you're right Ash, maybe I am a ‘Mama’s boy’.

The song started once more, but this time Ash was able to see where it was coming from. It was coming from the women in white. Everything went pitch black, and the only thing that was heard was the screams of Ash, who had been pulled back into the tree.

The melody had then continued, soon not being sung by one person but now by two…

[hyunjinspark]

Hi! I wasn't expecting the new chapter to come up so fast I was screaming when I saw it. This is the second time I'm writing to you and this time I'm kinda drunk I wouldn't expect you to remember me but I'm the anon who was going through some stuff and made streusels lol maybe at this point I should pick an emoji (don't even know which ones are available tho) and write to you more. I just wanted to say even if it may seem dumb to some people which I would understand, your story is one of the things that keep me going even if I get angry at both y/n and Hyunjin. But everytime I go like "yeah i need to see the end of this story so keep hanging on sis". So I have to thank you for writing. While reading the last chapter I thought something was gonna happen with y/n and Yeonjun (i read them warnings and I was like damn) and I screamed and had to take a break lol. Tbh I would love to see that mess since everything is going crazy. I hope you keep writing forever but at the same time I hope you feel no pressure (girl what am I even saying) I can imagine how people who write can feel stuck sometimes because I try to write shitty poetry and stuff to feel a little better sometimes. It's not even close to what you're doing but maybe the feeling is similar. I have to tell you that I've been here since last summer and I've been better since then but still there are days that feels like hell and I'm sure there are people who are like me. I feel like I'm rambling rn but really thank you for letting me get out of my world time to time. I don't know if you ever imagined that your writing could help some people to this extent but your story is probably like in top 3 things I look forward to in my life and I DON'T CARE IF IT'S SAD imma be here till the end. Sending you lots of love THANK YOU ❤️

oh my god. of course i remember you !! you made streusels cause of the story 😭 i was wondering how you were and im so happy you reached out to me. im tipsy too right now so this is perfect dw about it and you make complete sense 😭

and no its not dumb at all !! im soo happy this story makes you happy. yn and yeonjun man i cant tell you how many times ive considered it and thought about it 😭 it would be perfect but hellish at the same time.

i do get stuck a lot and sometimes when im inspired i have no time so its frustrating but these messages motivate me and make me so happyyy. thank you for reading. thank you for still being here ! im so proud of you and i hope to hear from you soon again.

[mikeysantoss]

ninety days clean now.

havent been writing here cause i’ve been busy. nik and verity convinced me to try out college so now im taking night classes for social work. verity said its a good idea to stay busy and i think she’s right. i’ve stopped being so skeptical of her ideas. 

think i always wanted to do something with my life that’d help people, and social work’s the best way forward. 

apparently rhere’s a bunch of specialisations you can do. i wanna specialise in youth addiction so i can be the person i wish i had around me when i was 18 and getting introduced to drugs. 

wont have much time to write here anyway cause when i aint studying, im working on music. the brain fog’s slowly going away and now i got the urge to write songs again. 

verity’s been getting me into mindfulness and it’s really helping me get in touch with my inner soul and all that other hippy shit. 

im feeling good.

one hundred days clean

can't fuckin believe it's been a hundred days. damn .never thought id get this far but here i am. nik threw me a little party with all my buds from meetings + college. really dont think i wouldve made it this far without him and verity.

guess i better tell you the other big thing.

i have bipolar disorder. verity says i probably inherited ot from you or dad, and considerin 90% of my symptoms line up with ur past behaviour, it dont take a genius to know who i got it from

first i was angry. but i gotta say, more than anger i've just felt relief. im not fuckin crazy after all. a lot of shit in my life started making sense whoich made me feel like i wasnt doomed 2 fail. that there was hope.

verity didn't give me any pills but mentioned there are mood stabilizers. i dont wanna go on em cause im scared i''ll get addicted and have 2 start the whole withdrawals thing again

but she said the option is there 4 me whenever i feel up 2 it. maybe in the future.

i thought about you the day i got my diagnosis. couldnt write here cause i was a goddamn wreck.

did u know you had bipolar disorder? did you have to deal with that shit alone? not knowing whats wrong with you and going your whole life thinkin youre a crazy delusional fuck up is a pretty shitty thing i aint gonna lie. made me wonder if you went through the same shit.

there's a lot i gotta unpack but at least now i know what box to look in.

[rrxnjun]

i hope u can figure out one for it;-; but like that is mind blowing cuz he is just so aesthetically pleasing but now that im trying to come up with a url with his name nothing comes to mind so actually hoping u will figure out something;-; i'm praying it will go away soon!!!

i love thrill ride im very happy u liked it!! and i hope that u will find some that u will like out of the recommendations cuz they have very good songs out there:o YESSS it's just too goddamn hard too recommend songs;-; (i actually struggle so much with it it suckswhbejdnf ;-;)

i didn't know any of them!! but i really liked movie star cinema and without you!!! and the other ones were great as well but those were the songs that stood out for me:o but WITHOUT YOU!!?!?! i'm glad u told me about this song cuz i would be heartbroken if i wouldn't have known about this amazing song

thank u🥲 it won't prepare us in hungary as well all of the people who i talked with and go to uni said that it is going to be very different and much harder in some ways;-; goddamn then i will try to get myself ready for that but i'm probably half way there cuz i'm already praying to just pass my maths exam🥲🥲

so very sorry about being gone again!! i had my exams this week so i barely looked at my phone cuz of preparing and since i fucked up my most important one i have just been staring at my walls and contemplating life🤭 so yeah sorry to be gone🫡 and hope u are good and well!!!!!🥳💕💞 (liebestraum anon)

update: i didnt come up with anything better than what i already had so if the spirit of god himself doesnt magically give me a better idea im just gonna be stuck w a shitty url bc i refuse to not have a jihoon url ig AHAHA

i am afraid to say that i havent listened to much more yet bc ive been studying a lot and havent had the time 😭😭😭 i once again promise to listen to more after exams are over!! i'll give you a full review and everything dw >:(( i'm sure i'll find some i like!!

YOU LIKED MY MOST FAV SONGS !!!!!!!! without you is such a beautiful song its so refreshing i think. like they dont have the usual boygroup noise music concept we see (and love, come on i stan nct) and its so nice to listen to. their vocals also!!! more in love w cix each day. please watch this perf of without you if you have time and energy to its what made me stan actually

uni is always harder but when youre a high schooler its hard to admit that to yourself ;-; (speaking from personal experience LMAO) but i truly hope u get adjusted fine and quick!! i didnt have to study as hard in hs so i think the workload was the most shocking thing for me that i had to get used to, so if you are used to studying a lot and having a lot of assignments maybe it wont be that different after all! praying for your maths exam im sure you'll rock it!!!

its okay!! im taking ages to reply too and im barely on this blog bc of exams >:(( hope your exam didnt go as badly as you think it did, sometimes we are just too pessimistic. how did your other exams go?? im manifesting good grades for you mwah!!! hope you are taking care of yourself and relaxing after all the studies. im looking forward to hearing from u when things get easier on your end (and mine too, 3 most difficult exams left so im honestly manifesting i pass LMAO)

[poppy-metal]

aw poppy you got me thinking about eddie in dom drop :(( esp at the beginning of the relationship :(( having to reassure him that you wanted the things he did to you, holding him to your chest as you stroke his hair. telling him how much you love him and how he was so good to you, how good he made you feel :(((

i- yeah 🥺

cw under the cut: dom!drop. eddie being self depricating, reader reassuring him. sweet sweet aftercare. mentions of spanking.

think he might actually cry the first time you guys try impact play :( he feels....so bad, for getting hard. from hurting you. from leaving bruises on your ass. feels so shitty about it and he tries not to, rubs lotion on your sore cheeks and can't stop his eyes from watering at the little whine you let out.

he just...breaks. you hear him sniff and then his hands are running up your spine and hes hiding his face in your neck and whispering. "im sorry. im so fucking sorry."

you blink out of the haze you were in to turn over, ignoring the burn in your ass so you can wrap him up in your arms. take his face in your hands and look at him worriedly, "eddie, baby. why are you apologizing, what's wrong?" thumbs swiping away the tears falling down his ruddy cheeks.

he shakes his head and kisses your wrist. his eyes so big and shiny and wet. "i hurt you. like." he takes a deep shuddering breath, "i left marks. you're gonna be in pain tomorrow- jesus, fuck-"

"eddie." you squeeze his cheeks, all your senses back and pinpointed on him. "you know i wanted this right? like im the one who asked for it?"

he nods once. "yeah, yeah i know that. but. shit. i got-" he swallows and you see his adams apple bob. "i got hard. during."

you would giggle if this wasn't a serious moment. oh, your eddie. your lovely eddie. you lean forward to kiss his nose. sweet and gentle. his lashes flutter at the motion, reverent, like hes soaking in the fact that you still want him.

"im glad you did." you tell him. you card your fingers through his hair and bring his head to your chest, laying on your back and trying not to wince. you don't want to remind him of your aching ass just right now. later. "i really am, eddie. i know this was my thing, but i wanted us to enjoy it together. and you were so good."

his breath hitches, blows out across your nipples. his hair tickles your chin. "really?"

you hum and kiss the top of his head. "really, really. you did everything right. told me the stoplight system. made sure i was okay throughout. made me cum at the end. if i wanted you to stop, i would have safeworded."

you wiggle a little, feeling the sheets on your bare skin. "and the pain....it was good. its still good. I like the fact that im gonna feel it tomorrow. reminds me of you being in control of me. makes me feel like yours. the marks are good too. i like everything about what we did, even the fact that it stings like a bitch. because it was you who did it."

he lifts his head. he looks more calm now. less self depriacting. his curls hang around his face in a halo, framing it. hes chewing his bottom lip, running his teeth over it. "you promise?" you feel his thumbs rubbing circles at your sides, just above the dips in your hips. "you really liked it?"

you smile at him, big and genuine. "i really, really liked it."

he smiles back, a little small and tentative. he leans down and kisses between the crevice of your chest. "would you hate me if i said i wanted to wait awhile before we do anything like that again?" he brings his nose to yours, brushing them, "i believe you and everything, and i- well i think its pretty obvious i enjoyed myself. i just. need to take a minute to wrap my head around that.. part of our dynamic. i wanna do it again when im more......secure about it. If that's okay."

you love him so fucking much your chest wants to burst with it.

you kiss him, sigh happily into his plush mouth when he kisses you back. "sure, eds." you tell him, "take as long as you need." you run your hands down his back, "im happy with anything we do."

he kisses your nose, your lips, your jaw, in quick succession, and then hes sitting up. "i hope you're happy with being spoiled rotten. like. annoyingly so." he pats your hip, "roll back over for me?"

you do, settling on your tummy and sighing when you feel his warm and gentle palms on your sensitive ass again, kneading the globes. you loooooove his habds. "oh, im sooooo mistreated." you say sarcastically, wiggling your butt. "being spoiled, my god, how awful."

you squeal when he pinches your waist. "okay, brat." he says, "m'starting to remember why it was so easy to spank you."

you giggle, hugging a pillow to your chest as eddie goes back to applying the cooling lotion to your enflamed flesh.

his voice is serious again when he says, "i think i like this part the best." he spreads the gel around until it soaks in nicely. "when we do it again....this will always be my favorite part. taking care of you." you feel him press a kiss at the base of your spine. "you're kinda the love of my life. or something."

you smile into the pillow. "me too. or something."

[bisexual--mothman]

Wow okay