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I don't even care how shitty I sound for saying this but I wish I didn't call my grandpa for his birthday today...
I am guilty of not calling a lot and getting caught up in day to day life and just trying to survive. He lives states away so not the easiest or cheapest to visit. I've been financially struggling for a while now too..
I call him and wish him a happy birthday he was pleasant for a minute and then turned serious and told me how I need to visit him before he dies..and I said I know I really want to. And was open and honest about financially been struggling but I just took a loan out on my 401k to pay off all my credit card and school loan debt... Because it was cheaper and better to pay everything back that way and be able to save more now so I plan on saving and visiting...
We both went to ask a question at the same time. And before I could say sorry and ask what he was going to say he laughed his smug sarcastic laugh and said well I'll let you go talk to you later... Bye and hung up.
And my uncles wonder why I hardly call. I hate feeling like shit when I'm just trying to do better and call and reach out. I'm human. I'm not perfect. I know I need to call more. But when I make efforts it's things like this that don't make me want to reach out. :(
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Susan Sontag, from “Reborn: Journals and Notebooks, 1947-1963″
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“She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even, and perhaps most especially, when that person couldn’t see it in themselves.”
— J.K. Rowling, The Prisoner of Azkaba
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Once we start loving ourselves, people no longer seem good to us unless they are actually good for us.
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“I will not beg you for your time or try to convince you to choose me, the world is too big and I have too much to offer.”
— Unknown
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