#its just a number my brain cannot handle

[silcoitus]

I'm still in disbelief there is a THOUSAND of you here watching me.

[ID: Patrick Starr holding ice cream and groceries, screaming "who are you people?!" To the 9 pairs of eyes underneath his rock house]

[yongseungkim]

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[beebopboom]

The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter

Yep! That’s right we are diving back into season 1, specifically with the last true witch, Agnes Nutter

This first part is mainly going to deal with what is in her book and is largely just a reference point. This will cover all the prophecies we know about and the images included in her book that I could find

Further analysis and theories will start in part two

-> which you can click here to read if you’d like

But other than that let’s just dive in

Prophecies 

Most of these we know and we see play out but there are a few stragglers- (which I’m not going to go into in this series just for the sole reason my very ill brain cannot handle them right now, maybe in the future)

Prophecy 1111: "An the Great Hound Sharl come and the Two Powers sharl watch in... Goeth where is its Master, Where the... Notte, and he shall name it, True to... and Hell shall flee it."

Prophecy 2214: "In December 1980, an Apple will arise no man can eat. Invest thy money in Master Jobbes's machine, and good fortune will tend thy days."

Prophecy 2213: "I tell ye this, and I charge ye with my wordes. Four shall ride, and three shall ride the sky as two, and one shall ride in flames, and there shall be no stopping them. Not fish, nor rain, neither devil or angel. And ye shall be there also, Anathema."

Prophecy 2315: "Sum say It cometh in London Town, or New Yorke, butte they be Wronge, for the place is Taddes Fild, Stronge inne hys powr, he cometh like a knight innne the fief, he divideth the Worlde into 4 partes, he bringeth the storme.

Prophecy 3001: "Behind the Eagle's Neste, a great Ash hath fallen.

Prophecy 3007: "Prayers and hope ... / Brings forth sorrow and serpents reign / For the devil lucks in plain sight / Under an arc of pale moonlight."

Prophecy 3008: "When that the angel readeth these words of mine, in his shoppe of other menne's books, then the final days are certes upon us. Open thine eyes to understand. Open thine eyes and rede, I do say, foolish principalitee, for thy cocoa doth grow cold."

Prophecy 3009: "Seven who hold the Scepter shall be killed...of them shall become a saint."

Prophecy 3011: "The exer... and churches be laid open to ... oppressed shall prevail, and oppose the cruelty of foreigners. For a Boar of Cornwall shall give his assistance, and trample their necks under his feet."

Prophecy 3012: "A shower of blood shall rain, and a raging famine shall afflict mankind. When these things happen, the Red Dragon shall grieve, but when his fatigue is over he shall recover his strength. Then shall misfortunes hasten upon the White Dragon, and the buildings of his gardens be pulled down."

Prophecy 3017: "I see Four Riding, bringing the Ende and the Angells of Hell ride with them, And three shall Rise. And Four and Four Together be Four and the Dark Angel sharl Own Defeat, Yette the Manne sharl claim his Own."

Prophecy 3477: Lette the wheel of Fate turne, let harts en-join, there are othere fyres than mine; when the wynd blowethe the blos-soms, reach oute one to anothere, for the calm cometh when Redde and Whyte and Blacke and Pale approche to Peas is Our Professioune.

Prophecy 3817: "The Number of the Beast is in the Revelayting of Sainte John, call hym in Taddesfield. And ye will know hym by this sign, that when ye do call hym, the Lesser Beaste will walk upon his hind legs like unto a Dancing Bear."

Prophecy 3819: "When Orient's chariot inverted be, four wheles in the skye, a man with bruises be upon Youre Bedde, aching his hedd for willow fine, a manne who testeth with a pyn yette his hart be.

Prophecy 3988: "Whene menne of crocus come frome the Earth and green manne frome the Sky, yette ken not why, and Pluto's barres quitte the Light-ning castels, and sunken lands riseth, and Levia-than runneth free, and Brazil is vert, then Three cometh together and Four arise, upon iron horses ride; I tell you the ende draweth nigh."

Prophecy 3989: "He is not what he says he is."

Prophecy 4009: "Where the Hogg's back ends the young beast will take the world and Adam's line will end in fire and darkness."

Prophecy 4019: "When Orient's Chariot Inverted be a man with bruises up thy bed, aching his head for willow fine."

Prophecy 4020: "Let the wheel of fate turne, let harts enjoin, there are othere fyres than mine; when the whirl wynd whirls, reach oute one to another."

Prophecy 5001: "When the skies are crimson seen, then ye both must stand between the world of life and the world of war, where the iron bird lands no more."

Prophecy 5004: "When alle is sayed and all is done, ye must choose your faces wisely, for soon enouff, ye will be playing with fyre."

and that’s all of them I believe so let’s hop into the images I could find

Artworks

Starting out on the very first page we have this

Now I could not find an exact reference to this (I know starting out strong just stay with me) but between the examples I could find plus the four wings surrounding the head I would say this is depicting a Cherubim

This next one is from the actual book itself,

This is the piece, Saint John Devouring the Book by Albrecht Dürer (1498) which was published alongside 15 other woodcut illustrations in his book, Apocalypse, all covering events in Revelations

Now we are moving into pieces that we see in the little montage moments so the images are a little less clear

This piece, Saint Michael Slaying the Dragon, is by Martin Schongauger done sometime between 1480-1490

The next piece was actually a two for one which made my job a little easier and let this post only be one part *curse you image limit*

Chariot Vision, which is by Matthäus Merian depicting Ezekiel’s vision in Ezekiel 1:5 (I couldn’t find when it was made -and now that I’m really looking at it the wheels are a little different but I’m confident enough to say it’s from the same story so the point will still stands)

and finally we have this one

With help from @gallup24 and some image manipulation finally found this piece, The Minde bould hare a fixed Eye On Objects, that are plac’d on High.

I believe to be published first along side other emblems by Gabrielis Rollenhagii in 1613 it was reprinted in 1635 with added hymns by George Wither in his emblem book

the hymn reads

A Heart, which bore the figure of an Eye

Wide open to the Sunne; by fome, was us’d,

When in an Emblem, they would fignifie

A Minde, which on Celeftiall Matters mus’d :

Implying, by this fame, that there is nought

Which in this lower Orbe, our Eyes can fee,

So fit an Object for manly thought,

As thofe things, which in Heav’n above us be.

God, gave Mankinde (above all other Creatures)

A lovely Forme, and upward-looking Eye,

(Among the reft of his peculiar Featares)

That he might lift his Countenance on high:

And (having view'd the Beauty, which appeares

Within the outward Sights circumference)

That he might elevate above the Sphares,

The piercing Eye, of his tatelligence,

Then, higher, and fill higher ftrive to raife

His Contemplations Eyes, till they alcend

To gaine a glimple of thofe eternall Rayes,

To which all undepraved Spirits rend.

For, 'tis the proper nature of the Minde

(Till fehly Thoughts corrupt it) to delpile

Thole Lufts whereto the Rody ftands inclin'd ;

And labour alwayes, upmard to arife.

Some, theretore, thought thofe Goblins which appeare

To haunt old Graves and Tombes, are Soules of fuch,

Who to thefe loathfome places doomed were,

Becaule, they doted on the Fleh too much.

But, ture weare, well-minded Men thall god

To live above, when others bide below.

(also if you want a really good breakdown of the publishers of, The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, check out the one @i-only-ever-asked-questions posted one here)

————————————————————————

so yeah that’s all I could find and like I said this is mainly just a reference post

and yes I am aware that one very obvious piece is missing that seems to be made just for this book. I ran out of images so i’ll post it in a rb

[kimkaelyn]

The one in which you and Touya were childhood best friends turned sweethearts, and your reaction to Dabi.

warnings - heavy angst, grief, and manga spoilers

Touya Todoroki had been your everything. He was your first friend, your first crush, and your first kiss.  You were his number one supporter, always cheering him on, even after his family gave up on him becoming a pro hero. You were there when Shouto was born, and you were there to comfort Touya after he tried to kill him. You would apply burn cream and ice after every burn and bring bento boxes full of food to Sekoto Peak after he had been training for hours. You were there for every up and down, waiting to help him get back onto his feet and keep training harder and harder.

And at the end of it all, you were the last one to see him alive.

You refused his invitation to the top of the mountain that day- “Finals are coming up Touya and I need to study. You should be studying too”. He had tried to get you to come anyway, but you put your foot down. You two got into a heated argument over it, ending with you both stomping away in different directions.

You had seen the raging wildfire from your window and were instantly overcome with grief. You tried to go to the forest, calling out for your best friend, but you were stopped by Endeavor- his father- of all people. Once you informed him that his oldest son was inside the burning inferno, you were left alone.

A part of your soul died with Touya Todoroki that day, but life goes on. You adopted the Todoroki’s habit of not acknowledging trauma and carried on with your life like nothing had happened- at least on the surface.

It was difficult, you had your bad days, but you also had your good ones. On the especially hard days, you tried to remember the happy memories you had of him and reminded yourself that he wouldn’t want you to waste the day by being sad. ‘Touya would want me to move on and be happy’, you would remind yourself.

After ten years, you were better. You had managed to overcome your grief and move on with your life, but all your hard work had come crumbling down when you saw Dabi’s broadcast.

“My name is Touya Todoroki, the oldest son of the number one pro hero.”

Your entire world had halted on its axis as soon as the words left his mouth. You just stared at the broadcast, your frantic heartbeats the only sound you could hear aside from the confession that kept replaying like a mantra inside your head.

For the next couple of months, you didn’t outwardly acknowledge that your best friend- your first love- was a villain. That the friendly and hard-working adolescent that you knew was a serial killer.

You were amongst the evacuees when you saw the broadcast of the fight from a TV inside an abandoned store window. You dropped your backpack that contained everything that you could quickly grab from your apartment to the payment in shock as your brain tried to process what you were witnessing.

Touya- Dabi- and Endeavor battling it out in the middle of the city, and then Touya being engulfed in an inferno.

“Mom!” A familiar female voice called out from somewhere behind you. You turned in time to watch Rei Todoroki race towards the growing fireball, with Fuyumi and Natsuo following close on her heels. You did not hesitate to follow suit.

“Touya!” You heard the Todoroki’s yelling as they reached the impending explosion. You watched in awe as they activated their Frost Quirks, trying to cool their oldest son and brother down.

“Touya!” You yelled as you reached the wall of heat. Your clothes started to singe as you got closer.

“Y/N!” Fuyumi called out to you when she saw you. “What are you doing?! Get away!”

“No! Not before we stop Touya!”

“Y/N are you insane?” Natsuo swore.

“Y/N, get away!” Rei said to you as you continued to approach. “Your body cannot handle the heat!”

“And yours can?” You retorted. “Touya!”

“Touya! Big bro snap out of it!”

“Touya, stop!”

“Touya!” You screamed out before strong arms pulled you through the swelting wall of flames. You yelped as the flames licked at your skin. You managed to see the familiar face of Dabi through the smoke. You called out to him, “Touya! Stop, you are hurting me.”

“It’s Dabi now, sweetheart.” He said in a low voice as he wrapped his arms around you. You could practically feel the hatred dripping from his tongue. “What? Y/N, did you think I would stop my rampage about I saw you again, like some lovesick puppy?” He chuckled as he brought himself impossibly closer to you. You didn’t know if the scent of burning flesh was coming from you or him. “The Touya that you knew died ten years ago on Sekoto Peak. Again, it’s Dabi now, and Dabi doesn’t know you.” He whispered into your ear before lighting his entire body on fire.

remember to like, comment, and reblog!

[tyrantisterror]

Fantastic Rants and Where to Find Them

So, back when the Herbie Porber movies were still being made, Warner Brothers saw the cash cow on their hands and decided they had to lock that shit down as much as possible to make sure they could milk it until its teats were chafed and withered to nothing. To that end, they bought the rights to every book the Terf Queen had written by that point - which included all the Henry Pansley wizard school mystery books, but also two gag books set within the Henry Pansley world: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which was presented as an in-universe biology textbook for wizard children, and Quidditch Through the Ages, which was an in-universe book of trivia for a fake magical sport.

And at the time everyone with a brain who'd read those two books was shaking their head and thinking how dumb those corporate executives were to do that because, like, those aren't novels or novelas or short stories or narratives of any kind. They are, and I cannot stress this enough, a fake textbook and a fake trivia book about fake things written in a slapdash manner as a cheap gag. They existed for three reasons:

First, to sell something Herbie Porber related at a significantly lower price point than the actual novels so the Terf Queen could get more of that sweet, sweet Scholastic Book Fair money by having something poor kids could buy.

Second, to give a portion of the proceeds raised from that poor kid book fair money to charity so the Terf Queen could get some nice tax writeoffs.

And as a distant third, to expand the world-building of the Henry Pansley setting a teensie bit.

Now, as far as I'm aware, they succeeded at the first two well enough - tons of kids bought those cheap-ass thin as shit paperbacks when I was a kid, myself among them. Well, ok, I only bought Fantastic Beasts and skipped Quidditch because even during the height of my Herbie Porber fan days I thought the Terf Queen's imaginary sport was really fucking stupid and every time it popped up in the books I was bored as shit and tried to skim it as quickly as possible to get to the interesting stuff. I think I looked over the book once in a Barnes and Noble and thought, "Wow, I knew I thought real sports were boring as shit, but it turns out fake ones are even more so."

But back on track - goal number three was... kind of successful, I guess? Like, I don't know if you know this, but bestiaries of fictional animals are one of my big interests. I love a big book of made up creatures, and have collected many in my long life of thirty-four years. And as I said, I got a copy of Fantastic Beasts - technically several, because those cheap ass paperbacks disintegrated if you read them more than once, and I haven't met a bestiary that I haven't poured over several times, no matter how shitty. And despite how often I read it, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was, well... pretty mid, honestly. It's a book that's 99% world-building, and like all of the Terf Queen's world-building, it's overall mediocre and undercooked.

Like, in pure Herbie Porber style, it's mostly concepts that have been done in fantasy fiction and mythology dozens of times before with no real original spin on them whatsoever, often stripped down to their most recognizable elements alone. There are a smattering of original ideas that are actually interesting an novel, a few more original ideas that have potential but don't seem very well-thought out as is, and then some that are clearly just there to be a joke and are amusing for, like, a second, but also would quickly become annoying if they were given any focus.

I'll give a very me-specific example. As a fan of vaguely medieval european fantasy tropes, one of the metrics by which I judge a bestiary is "How does this handle dragons?" Because, like, I don't know if you know this, but I love dragons a lot, and the sheer variety of dragons in fiction is one of my favorite things in the world. There is a smorgasbord of different dragons a person can choose from just in folklore and mythology alone, and that variety is reflected in a given bestiary, the higher I think of it.

The Terf Queen's bestiary gives us ten dragon breeds... and they're all more or less the same except for scale color and minor variations in size. Oh, and their names, which are all based on different dog breeds because the Terf Queen thought that was funny. It's the worst of both worlds because it gets your dragon-loving hopes up that there'll be lots of unique dragons but no, they're just different colors, ho hum. Even the Chinese Dragon sticks to the same basic bitch wyvern body plan as the rest, when, you know, Chinese dragons have SUCH a different body plan than any of their European counterparts. It's downright insulting to the variety and creativity of this iconic folkloric archetype to reduce it to such a samey-set of monsters. Absolutely the most disappointing dragon entry in any bestiary I've ever read, just infuriating.

BUT, BACK ON THE INCREASINGLY DERAILED TRACK: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was never meant to be a "great" book. Remember goals one and two: it was a cheap cashgrab, a gimmick, a gag book. It was meant to be a disposable bit of fun - "Tee hee, here's a goofy textbook from this goofy wizard story that you kids will likely grow out of in a few years, you can read it in twenty minutes and not feel bad when you pitch it because there's very little substance to it, and it only costs three bucks."

The Terf Queen doesn't write textbooks, gag or otherwise, she writes novels, narratives, and in its original form Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was clearly just her fucking around with something whimsical and stupid for shits and giggles (and money, sweet sweet money). The original version of it was published with notes in the margin written by Henry Pansley and Donnie Stoat themselves, the two wizard hooligans writing little jokes and messages to each other with further references to other characters from the series, both to add more humor and because, again, the Terf Queen writes novels, and it was clear she couldn't commit to the "fake textbook" bit without working in some characters riffing it for her own sanity. And that makes it work as a gag book - you get a few laughs from the wizard hooligans playing MST3K with their shitty textbook, learn a little about the (undercooked and poorly thought out) ecosystem of the wizardy world, and then when you reach the back cover the spine of your cheap as shit pulp paperback book falls apart and, unless you've got a weird obsession with bestiaries, you throw the dying book in the garbage without a second thought. Three bucks spent well enough.

BUT, TO GET BACK ON THE INCREASINGLY DERAILED TRACK AGAIN: Warner Brothers bought the rights to this cheapo cashgrab gag textbook, and goddamn it, they were/are determined to squeeze Herby Porber's sore teats until every last drop of money milk spills from his chapped and bleeding nipples. They announced they were going to make a Fantastic Beasts movie towards the end of making the Herby Porber novels into films, and everyone with a brain sat there and thought, "Well, that's going to be a stupid cashgrab. Bet the Terf Queen's laughing her ass off at how dumb it'll be, too."

But the Terf Queen was not laughing, at least not for long, for once the Henry Pansley movies wrapped up, she was left with the horrifying knowledge that people didn't care for her non-wizard books all that much, certainly not enough to keep her rolling in sweet, sweet money. She needed that mega millionaire cash, and she needed it in abundance and she needed it quick. So when Warner Brothers asked her to write a movie based on her cheapo cashgrab gag textbook, she said, "Yeah, I can make a novel out of that! I - I'm a talented writer! People love my writing! They definitely love my writing and they'd love to pay money for things I wrote that don't directly feature Henry Pansley!"

So now she had to pretend that Fantastic Beasts, the cheapo cashgrab gag textbook about made up animals in a made up world, has a narrative. Not just any narrative, but a grand, sprawling narrative, one to rival, nay, SURPASS Herbie Porbie and the Seven Books of Wizard-Themed Coming of Age Nonsense. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, she assured us, was to be a magnificant tale, and one she planned all along, and CERTAINLY not a marriage of convenience to a completely stupid idea for a film that she was desperately sculpting into a narrative it had no ability to support for the sake of trying to recapture her already passed glory days as a writer.

And I think, in retrospect, this is a great illustration of the Terf Queen's great character flaw. She just can't fucking admit to a mistake, even when it's obvious to everyone that one was made. She will hop on board a sinking ship and keep doubling down on trying to get it to sail even as the water is up to her neck. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is a serious narrative now, not a gag textbook written to wring a few more dollars from school children goddammit!

Recent editions of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them took out the Herbie and Donnie commentary, by the by. They also added many of the new half-baked monsters that were introduced in the movies, in a shoddy attempt to pretend this was the plan all along, and that Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was always meant to be the seed of something great.

But it wasn't, and no matter how hard the Terf Queen pretends otherwise, it's obvious it wasn't. It's a cheapo cashgrab gag textbook, and that's all it really had to be, until greed and ego demanded otherwise.

[alollinglaughingcat]

@firealder2005 reblogged a bunch of tag games and i wanted to do all of them but i hate long reblogs in multitudes even if read more is an option so i combined them all into one post <3

@/gu1lty-as-sin's tag game

nickname: irl none really, online name is just Lolling

zodiac sign: Libra

height: i genuinely don't know but its probably somewhere around 5'6 since that's Alder's height lmao (i have height blindness and also cannot remember if i am taller or shorter or same height as you oopsies)

last thing i googled: uh technically i think it was me adding up the number of animals at the shelter i work at (the answer was 365 or somethin) though i never actually hit "enter" for it lol. otherwise it was "watcher grian ao3" (love me some ANGST)

amount of sleep: okay fun fact! i actually cannot perceive the amount of time i sleep. like if i go to bed at 11:00pm and wake up at 7:00am or if i go to bed at 9:00pm and wake up at 7:00am i think i've slept the same amount of time in my brain. i mean if i really push it to like 1:00am yeah i'll feel it in the morning but i can't do time math so it's all just the same numbers to me, so in my head i think i've always slept the healthy amount of hours. anyway probably 7-8

dream job: my current job is my dream job <3 i love working at an animal shelter. i'm currently going to school to be a vet tech, which I know I'll also enjoy doing since i've basically been a vet tech intern before, but I'll definitely miss getting to do everything i currently do as much as i do now, especially in regards to cleaning kennels, animal handling, and behavior assessments

movie/book that describes me the most: ??? fuck it i'll go random, The Coddling of the American Mind by Greg and Jon. that book is like how my brain works

favorite song: all of them and none of them they're all the same in the end

favorite instrument: minecraft noteblocks

favorite aesthetics: animalcore, cottagecore, vaporwave

favorite author: tui t sutherland!

random fun fact: i hope warrior cats never ends. i want a cat to go to space before it ends

not sure who started this tag game :)

favorite color: greens and pinks!

last song i listened to: damn i WAS gonna say "no clue" but i instinctively pulled up my yt playlist and started playing it RIGHt before i answered this tag game so now it's Flesh & Bone from ZOMBIES 2 (never watched it)

Last film I watched: 100% Wolf series and you can fight me over it its so endearingly mediocre

Currently reading: random fanfics. i guess the one I'm most dedicated to is the Echoes series for Watcher Grian content

Currently craving: nothing. wish i wanted to eat something tho but my appetite is empty

Currently watching: Guess That Build series w/ *takes breath* Impulse, Skizz, Grian, Gem, Jimmy, and Joel (currently halfway through Skizz's vid here)

Coffee or tea: i've never had either <3

Positivity Tag started by an Anon

Five Things I Like About Myself!

My writing skill, and specifically my ability to see things from a readers' perspective and predict the possible ways they will interpret my/others' writing.

My drawing skill, even though it is limited to just cartoon-ish, very stylized animals (mostly just cats tho). I enjoy drawing what I can draw.

My positivity. I've never been more grateful that I managed to somehow train myself into a more actively positive mindset. While I can get stressed, I feel like I can often manage it and remind myself that situational stress is temporary and happiness can always be found if you go looking for it.

My care and ability with animals. I enjoy handling difficult animals, be it spicy cats or reactive dogs, and I love seeing how animals' behaviors change over time with trust and patience. Even though I ironically don't really enjoy playing with animals that much, I enjoy surrounding myself with them and just co-existing with them, y'know?

My maturity. Took me a bit to really think of a something else to compliment myself on that wasn't just a reiteration of the above. But I've been told a lot that I'm always "so mature for my age" (not in a creepy way, but in a surprised, "wait you're X years old?!" way lol). I always thought it was a little silly, because isn't everyone "my age" mature? To my surprise, no. And those older than me aren't either. Which is okay because everyone's different! But it is frustrating sometimes lol

if anyone wants to do all or some of these tags, go ahead! open tag :)

[anderjak]

i'm just gonna be a hyperfocusing goober for today, so let me have this

so i really like the pikmin games. for the longest time, i was no good at them, because my brain was a disorganized mess. however, by god, i tried, mostly because there is something inherently infectious about the core of this franchise that hits right on a mechanical point, and i mean this about every game (except Hey! Pikmin, because we all kinda quietly agreed we wouldn't talk about that one, which, hey? c'mon. it's good. it's just a weird spin-off.)

so, lemme talk about each game, and how the developer decided to approach each title.

it's a long one, and i don't expect anyone to be, like, hanging on to every word, but I CARE A LOT ABOUT STUFF LIKE THIS OKAY

okay you got warned so here you go:

pikmin 1 was a launch-window game that popped in a little under a month after the release of the simultaneously maligned and dearly beloved Gamecube. those of you with a big ol' trivia brain will remember that the old Super Mario 128 rumors, including its tech demo of all the li'l marios running around to show off the Gamecube's processing power, would act as the seed idea for what would eventually become Pikmin: The Game. alongside the bizarre and fun Super Mario Sunshine and Luigi's Mansion, it was one of those games that showcased how early on Nintendo didn't really consider itself in competition with Sony or the newcomer Microsoft, cuz, like, who was making a game like pikmin. nobody in major publishing and development, that's for sure.

it's a simple concept: you're a li'l guy leading 100 li'ler guys around to collect ship parts from your very destroyed spaceship that got you there in the first place. natch, the nature of the world is largely out to kill you and all your diminuitive minions. whereas Overlord would take this concept for the purpose of murdering everything in sight and generally causing chaos (which would itself be the seed idea for a PS Vita game built on the inbetween point of Overlord and Pikmin, and it was aggressively okay), Pikmin was more about structure and strategy and planning and, on occasion, taking a chill moment to build up your numbers to lick your wounds and make up your losses.

taking its camera angle low to the grass to present the mundane as gigantic was an inspired move, clearly showcased by just how lush the world was for its time, and how simple a concept it is to make the everyday seem larger than life and fantastical. y'know, like Honey I Shrunk The Kids, but you're managing a hundred kindergarteners who are all weirdly just obedient enough that you can have 'em fetch stuff for your own singular ends. (who doesn't envy that JUST a little?)

add to that the three different pikmin suited for different situations, and you have a game with some nice, unexpected complexity. your bog-standard rank-and-file red pikmin have the added benefit, apart from being adorable, of being completely and utterly fire resistant, and are the strongest attackers in the game. yellow pikmin have great big ears and are lightning-proofed, alongside being incredibly chuckable, able to reach areas others cannot. blue pikmin, however, can handle water just fine, able to walk underneath as easily as on land. each areas' challenges are built around ensuring you have and use the right pikmin for the job, as sending the wrong pikmin can mean that heart-breaking death rattle that everyone wants to avoid.

the game was notoriously short -- one could spend about eight hours on first play if they figure out the controls and strategies early on -- and so for many, it acted as a neat launch window novelty. for me, the concept carried it for multiple playthrough attempts; as terrible as i was at it, the core mechanics, limited though they were, seemed primed for teasing out a near-limitless well of ideas. and, well, clearly, that novelty continued for many, as it would get a sequel not too terribly long after.

one thing to point out is, with its short length, it actually has an in-game timer -- not just the day cycle, where you gotta get yourself and your li'ler guys aboard your respective ships before sunset, but also a 30-day timer. if you couldn't manage to collect the critical parts in time, it's game over, buddy. try again.

it's semi-roguelite in that way; it was perfectly possible to beef it so terribly that you weren't guaranteed to wind up finishing in time. however, the game… really isn't terribly tough, so most managed pretty well. the 30-day limit felt like an arbitrary limitation, especially on additional playthroughs, which, apparently, Nintendo agreed with.

enter Pikmin 2. now, for the record: i don't… love this game. however, how it approaches being a sequel is utterly fascinating to me, as I think I understand why it chose to handle its new mechanics.

gone is the day timer, and new is the extra partner: Louie. with the ability to swap between two leaders or have them work in concert, multitasking became the backbone of this game… well, I mean, in theory. we also swap ship parts for treasure, as the crux of the game is paying off Olimar's employer's massive, crippling debt. thankfully, you have all the time in the world, because Hocotate Freight, the aforementioned employer, doesn't have continual interest applied to their loan. weird. but acceptable. (god, can you imagine a constantly ballooning debt goal to clear for this? someone mod the GC original, I wanna know how impossible it would be.)

there's also new pikmin: purple pikmin, who are large, can shake the earth when they're tossed (thus doing quite a bit of damage as an opening gambit), and have the strength of ten pikmin when carrying stuff; and white pikmin, which are tiny, great at finding and digging up hidden treasure, and also they'll fucking kill you if you eat one, being highly poisonous. they're also heavily poison-resistant, so feel free to send these tiny children into gaseous areas free of worry. balancing out when to yoink out these new ones -- which can only be created from specialty flowers where you exchange one of your core three pikmin, rather than growing them naturally -- becomes an additional hazard, so it's easy to be incredibly precious with these new types.

alongside that, bombs are added, which can be exclusively carried by Yellow pikmin. great for blowing up stone walls, and great for blowing up a nasty enemy in your way if you're not too precious about those bombs -- which do go away if you collect 'em all, and you gotta wait another day to pick up more.*

(note: it's been pointed out that bomb rocks were a Pikmin 1 feature, not 2; also, electricity wasn't really a feature in Pikmin 1 at all! thanks to folks tagging for this correction, though it's funny how inconsistent the games are about these sorts of things -- not that it's a huge deal.)

what's also added… are dungeons and a mission mode. dungeons, in theory, are fascinating, as they are sectioned off portions of the game meant to challenge the player. while the overworld segments are largely identical to the first game in basic scope -- one of the areas is even reused, though much expanded -- the dungeons add an honestly overwhelming amount of content.

these bits are interesting: you can't get more pikmin, so if you lose one, that's it (with, like, one technical exception). all enemies picked up after defeat are converted into a pittance of in-game currency. thankfully, the timer of the overworld is completely absent, For Reasons. (and thank goodness for that.) you're down there to find new treasure and maybe the occasional ship or suit part, get into scraps, and that's it.

i'd sort of figured, three years after the original's release, they took the claim that the first game was too short and too easy to heart, as this feels much more of a white-knuckle game. dungeons also feature unique enemies not found elsewhere, including that motherfucker the WaterWraith, an invincible steamroller that chases after one of your two leaders relentlessly. i hate this guy so much as he is sorta representative of the issues i have with this game.

now, this game was critically acclaimed, and for good reason: it was more of a really neat idea for a game, expanded with new stuff that made it highly replayable. what's not to love? however, an issue i kept running into is that there are two hundred plus treasures in the game to find, and, after eight hours (roughly the length of Pikmin 1 on first play), you'll be in good shape if you get half that. there are a lot of dungeons, and you can hit the game's first clear condition well before you've even found a good handful of dungeons.

since each treasure has a set amount of currency attached to it, you would naturally (and, largely incorrectly) assume the most dangerous dungeons hold within them the most lucrative treasure. in reality, it's a pure numbers game: most treasure, save for in the final dungeon, are worth a fairly small amount that still adds up quick. instead, the deepest dungeons, which ironically are also the most dangerous for many reasons, hold the most potential for treasure, and these bits… i will be honest, wear me out.

the volume and frequency of these dungeons do an interesting thing to a game that is otherwise fairly short and concise: it brings about fatigue. it puts a quantity-over-quality aspect to the game that works in its detriment, though the designs of these dungeons, by and large, are tight and concise, with just enough randomness to make even samey-looking areas still feel just fresh enough. you don't always start in the same area on each floor, and enemies aren't consistently laid out in set positions.

this is probably the only game in the series so far that instills in me a sense of dread when I reach a new dungeon, and it has a lot to do with pikmin 1: each day has a set length that's easy to predict, and dungeons throw a huge wrench in that. you don't know how deep things go until you're done, so you wind up setting aside time some other day to tackle them -- and you should do it that way! because those dungeons will chew you up and spit you out if you let 'em!

anyway it's great and i don't like it. you should play it. just don't go in expecting the experience to have the same satisfying loop as Pikmin 1, because it does, but it does so in sneaky, exhausting ways if you aren't prepared. it's a game meant for replays, where the first play is the worst.

now i get to talk about how much i fucking love Pikmin 3.

gone are dungeons, for the most part, and we wind up with a game much more in line with the original. the narrative is more front-and-center, focusing on three squad members who reunite after getting separated during a crash landing, and are trying to find a way off the planet while also conveniently harvesting the planet of its fruit and seeds. the central macguffin is juice: every time you collect a piece of fruit, it's converted to juice to be placed in a growing stockade of vials, each one giving a whole day's sustenance shared amongst the whole squad. rather than a hard deadline, your task is merely to make sure you don't eat more than you gather, changing the first game's hard time deadline into a more casual affair where each day can be taken on its own. considering you'll ultimately wind up with more juice containers than there are pieces of fruit to gather, it's a decidedly less stressful affair.

new pikmin naturally are added here, including rock pikmin -- craggy li'l guys great for dropping on enemies, and especially good at breaking glass and crystal -- and flying pikmin -- the only other type capable of moving over water alongside blue ones, and capable of uprooting the strange pink vines which have grown all over the place. unlike pikmin 2, these new types can be grown the same way as the standard three, and they had the big brain genius move of combining all the sources of pikmin, the Onions, into one device, making team management and composition infinitely easier.

the name of the game for Pikmin 3 really is sanding down all the friction of the first two, and making a modern entry that felt like it was learning how to provide more fun with better, more intuitive controls and more complex tasks. the world is filled with more puzzles, so the game provides a new Charge, which sends all pikmin in a group toward your target, and the ability to swap between entire teams of pikmin without accidentally tossing an errant one. GAME CHANGER. you can also send your other squad members out on their own on automated paths (one-way, sadly) so you can stay on the move at all times.

with the dungeons gone, Pikmin 3 isn't a particularly long game -- though Mission mode returns, as well as mission-like Side-Stories starring Olimar and Louie from Pikmin 1 and 2, going over the events before and after the main game in a bit of a comedy duo-style cheap excuse to play some tightly constructed timed missions that are frankly more fun than they have any right to be. it's a generally well constructed package which seeks to fatten up its stores with a variety of modes rather than attempting to pack in everything all in the story, which works massively to the game's benefit and maintains its core loop incredibly well.

its final dungeon is also worthy of note: while it is a dungeon in all ways similar to Pikmin 2, it maintains its time crunch, and adopts a roguelite mechanic of maintaining your progress, even if you fail and have to retreat. any shortcut created is retained in future plays.

i mentioned the WaterWraith in Pikmin 2 earlier, and while there is a similar creature here that I won't spoil (you should play pikmin 3, it rules), the rules and conditions are very different. while it's ever-present and looming, it more acts as a slow timer to keep you mobile. it can crawl up walls you can't, and take shortcuts otherwise unavailable to you, but it isn't particularly keen on killing you, just impeding your progress. it can be damaged and stunned temporarily, but it's utterly unkillable during this dungeon phase.

with those two elements, I figured out why I didn't have a great time with Pikmin 2, and it really just has to do with very different goals. Pikmin 3's final area is a dungeon in a lot of ways, with a focus on time management, multitasking, and puzzle-solving, but it mostly acts as a stress-test for the skills you've learned so far. meanwhile, Pikmin 2's dungeons almost feel like you have to flip a switch in your brain: you can move as slow as you want, which means the game is allowed to crank up the difficulty and create some unique challenges not faced anywhere else. pikmin 3's final area is a test of everything you learned: pikmin 2's dungeons are a new skillset you have to build on the fly.

and I suppose this is where my friction is with 2: it feels like two otherwise very good games smashed together, without as much consideration toward maintaining the skills and understandings developed over casual play between those two modes. if you're like me and keep going into pikmin 2 with the thought, "oh boy! more pikmin!" you'll get your face smashed into the floor. fun! and pikmin 3 simply isn't that kind of experience: it has its own goals which feel distinct from both, and it also makes me realize how good Pikmin 2 is, even if it's my least favorite so far, for one simple reason:

it is its own game. much like pikmin 1 and 3 are their own games. they each hold an interesting "spirit" of the core mechanics, and try to find new challenges and interest which make them feel less like subtle iterations and more like distinct flavors. they're all ice cream, but sometimes you're in the mood for chocolate, vanilla, or rocky road.

but what if you want butterscotch in a waffle cone

pikmin 4 ain't out yet. but it DOES have a fairly extensive demo containing the first portion of the game, and hoo boy does it take some liberties. somewhat similarly to 3, you don't play as Olimar or Louie, but a whole new crew, out to rescue folks who landed on the planet… only for your ship to crash and now you need rescuing. the game takes a more "survival" approach even when compared to Pikmin 3, but not in a resource management way; instead, it's more like a base builder-lite, with iterative upgrades and unlocking features which alter your play in micro- and macrocosmic ways.

this entry allows you to create and name your own li'l guy, and even drops the other squad mates as functional on-field components in favor of a dog who is less capable as a squad member and more capable as a transportation/assault vehicle. seriously, Oatchi rules. there's a home base where time doesn't move and you can talk to all the folks you rescue and navigate menus exchanging gathered resources for new abilities, gear, and more. it sounds intense, but honestly, it's all boiled down into accessible and simple systems that are pretty easy to read and interface with.

they also weirdly changed the camera; gone is the more isometric approach in favor of something closer to a third-person shooter, though it never quite feels like, say, Gears of War. while you can zoom out for a nice top-down approach, I kinda love how this game handles its camera: everything feels way more massive and intimate at the same time, and with the upgraded visuals (even beyond Pikmin 3), everything's got that umami that Nintendo is known for when they apply their efforts to, say, food or nature. they're alarmingly good at it, and it's weird.

however, they also did something i got scared of initially: dungeons are back. and in much the same form as they used to be. sssssort of.

the thing is, they did a lot of quality of life upgrades, allowing you to select which pikmin you want at the entrance before diving in, and not requiring you have everyone in arm's reach before moving on. the dungeons also feel, so far, more like puzzle areas than combat zones, so in spite of the timer being eradicated for this one (it's still around for the regular overworld segments), I haven't gotten the inclination that this title is going to commit some of the same exceptional and unique challenge that Pikmin 2's dungeons offer.

what's more, they're also used for transportation: many dungeons lead you to new areas in the overworld that are otherwise inaccessible, which means dungeons are no longer just a conveyance for weird enemy bullshit or an excuse to get a whole bunch of treasure (though you very much collect treasure in this one, much like 2). the added functionality and lessened reliance on combat makes 4 feel cozier initially, and, while the controls are still Nintendo Weird (seriously, they will never be satisfied making a control scheme that everyone is satisfied with, because they will never let us remap things ourselves, the fools), they largely stay simple and more than get the job done.

it's an experience that, unlike pikmin 2, made me immediately go, "oh, i canNOT treat this like pikmin 1." i was constantly reevaluating my relationship with the game and what it was expecting of me, and, by the end of the demo, i was more enraptured with the idea of sitting and enjoying the experience longterm than i was prior.

i don't know how well the final product will shape up: i'm worried about dungeons because i do not like pikmin 2 very much, and i worry that the upgrade systems will feel needlessly tacked on and make the game feel arbitrarily longer than it should be. i worry it'll be a much longer game than it needs to be! however, its core loop comes off as far more satisfying, and the new systems like gathering castaways and fellow crew members, building bridges with your own materials instead of relying on clearing paths to arbitrary piles of shards, and Oatchi are all things i want to keep playing with.

more than i think any game prior in the franchise, Pikmin 4 feels like a toybox. however, it's gonna live or die based on how readily it lets you play with its toolset, and if it doesn't strike the right balance, it's going to falter in a lot of the same ways as most weird experiments Nintendo's done to its flagship franchises: otherwise fine but ultimately creating unnecessary friction between itself and the players it hopes to please.

[raven554]

Nine people I'd like to get to know better

I have been tagged by @vasheden hello!

Last song: This version of Doomsday that popped up on my Spotify Weekly. Its a pretty cover~

Favorite color: PURPLE. I am obsessed

Last movie/TV show: The last Doctor Who special special last week. I dont generally watch TV that much honestly, I'm usually on youtube watching random shit.

Sweet/spicy/savory?: I'm not a spicy fan (I'm very white and my body cannot handle it) sweet and/or savory all the way.

Relationship status: Single asexual and plan to keep it that way. A romantic relationship would be great but I'm also extremely socially awkward and have trouble making new friends let alone finding a partner. I dont like dating...

Last thing I googled: a phone number to see if the random unknown caller that just tried phoning me was a spam/sales call. If you're not in my contacts list, I'm not answering it. (it was)

Current obsession: Good Omens! I always come back to this fandom eventually and with the second seasons release it will not leave my brain. It's been months. Send help.

Tag some people to take part: (if you've already done it and i missed it, i'm sorry!)

@fading-to-stardust @max--phillips @fvfvxcvxcv @presentverse @missanthropicprinciple @smallpinkplushie @whitenightshade @cocacola-and-magic @yesthatgino

[mixelation]

wow, it seems my opinion is super unpopular and i have some time to kill, so i will elaborate on it:

my movies-only interpretation of anakin is that he is a self-destructive person who cannot ever be satisfied with what he has, because he fears losing it. this is like... one of the central themes of the movies. in his childhood, he grew up with the constant fear of being sold and his world upturned on a whim, and then his freedom came with the cost of losing his mother, and he immediately also lost the man he'd latched onto as his new trusted adult figure. his main motivations throughout the movies are fear of loss. so even if you cut out palp's influence, i think he'd struggle to fully trust the jedi because he subconsciously fears being kicked out or losing his place, especially since he KNOWS he joined under unique circumstances. to reconcile this, he'd invent conspiracies or grudges that don't exist to justify his fears to himself in a viscious, toxic loop in his brain. if he went with padme over the jedi, he would still do this. he'd lose or have reduced access to his current support network (the jedi as an organization, and then various jedi as individuals), and there'd be nothing to mitigate him from inventing stories about padme betraying him or something like that because he'd fear losing her. again, without palps, it might not culminate in him choking her to death, but without introducing SOMETHING to this AU to help him deal with these tendencies*, i cannot see their relationship not turning incredibly toxic, especially since padme seems either unwilling or unable to engage with this side of his emotional problems (see: the line where he admits to murdering people and she goes "we all get angry")

*the possible "anakin learns to chill" options i can think of would be external to the poll scenarios as given and i don't think would automatically follow, plus they'd largely all be applicable/possible to headcanon into him staying with the jedi. so i am ignoring them. this is NOT me arguing they could never have a healthy relationship, just that i cannot see what we are given in canon turning into one

so, i voted "equally upset at either." however, if i HAD to pick, i think anakin would end up much happier staying with the jedi. why? because padme is just one person, and the jedi are a whole fucking organization. getting a wife is not putting yourself through therapy. it does not magically fix you, and i am baffled by the number of answers like "oh yeah, he'd be happier with her." my personal opinion is that he would shove all his anxieties on her, and that is impossible for one person to handle, especially a person simultaneously trying to engage you in a whole ass romantic relationship. meanwhile, the jedi are an organization and culture and a community, and they are anakin's culture and community even if he liekly often feels like a foreigner to it (see: unique circumstances and fear of being kicked out somehow).

an organization is more resilient to someone shoving its anxieties onto it, because it is built of many people capable of giving different types of support. even if anakin has some interpersonal drama or fallings out, there's tons of people to act as and contribute to a support network, and community are meant to support people on a systemic/structural level. i know a lot of people are like "oooh aaah they hated him!!!" but tbh i think this is based on people projecting their feelings too hard on anakin and making excuses for why he's Like That, and generally not well-rooted in canon. the jedi are not out to get anakin specifically, except for in his head. there's nothing in the movies to indicate their system is abusive to its constituents, just that anakin personally is floundering for a wide variety of reasons, one being "he is keeping a several secrets which prevent him from accessing support and making him more paranoid anxious, leading to him needing that support even more." if you remove one of the biggest secrets (padme), then his ability/willingness to access support increases. ergo, jedi > padme for anakin's long term happiness

all that being said, "would he be happy" and "what he would prefer" are not the same question. anakin loves being miserable, and also he was in love. he'd prefer padme.

For the first, assume they never married in the first place, because Padmé took an unknowing page from Satine’s book, and made Anakin wait until they were both in a more stable mental state/after the war. The part he's bummed about is that the relationship is this defined as impermanent and, as he intends to remain a Jedi, something that will have to end once Padmé starts looking to settle down unless the actual spouse is open to poly (and even then he knows he'd be jealous).

For the second, assume Anakin left on decent terms and still calls his Jedi friends up to get dinner when the Senate is convening, and sends people photos of the twins. The part he's bummed about is not getting to have a laser sword, the loss of Official Privileges, living among a community that understands him/that he grew up with, and possibly not being allowed to engage in the war to his full potential to save lives as he'd like.

This is not an invitation to tell me how immature or selfish you think Anakin was for trying to have both in canon. We know that part. We know he'd bitch and moan and accuse people of conspiring again him. I just want to know your opinions on which he'd have preferred if forced to choose in a calm environment instead of as part of a Sith plot to drive him insane.

This is also not an invitation to tell me about how you think the Jedi are evil or stifling or what have you. Do not project Christian trauma onto the space Buddhists.

[tinlizziedlinwa]

Falling apart

I need a gentle hand to hold mine

A presence at my side

I've been crumbling for months now

It's like I know what I need to do

but I can't move.

There are those who try to help me

but this damned brain of mine

just gets mad and pushes them away

I get so frustrated with myself

but as a guy I'm not supposed to cry

the things I do to myself

are getting worse

Alone, I sit here writing this

my leg bouncing in a fit

I've tried for years but everyone takes exception

the way I view the world and interact with it

they just don't get

People at work constantly jump to the wrong conclusions

their need for black and white and definitive stances

whereas I see puzzle pieces full of nuance and subtle judgement calls

They want to be noticed and take credit for the work they do

But my goal is to work quietly behind the scenes

Their whole worldview so different from mine

My observations are not wanted, they're deemed hurtful

In my mind doing my job right

means nobody knows I even exist

shit just flows without a hitch.

Of course there are exceptions and individuals will need help

that's not a problem! I long ago learned about contingencies and keep a reserve

My issue is when my coworkers and management turn the job on its head

and now everything's an exception, needing to be handled one at a time, dramatically decreasing our efficiency

They don't care and don't want to see

they're perfectly willing to burn through employees.

I had a career I used to enjoy

now there's backstabbing and office politics

scapegoats are sought and excuses abound

I'm accused of fingerpointing and being abrasive

when they're the ones who fucking asked me what I see

I'm not good at sugar-coating things, I'm too blunt

my observations backed by hard numbers are rejected

Non-negotiable "guidelines" set

Management refuses to see the inherent conflicts in what they say

telling me it won't be like I envision, and my lack of trust in their judgement hurts the whole crew

when I've got the fucking experience to have seen how wrong they are, that their shit ain't new

When I poke holes in their arguments I'm their Cassandra, what I say cannot be true

then crap turns out exactly as I expected, and fingerpointing ensues.

Their Grand Vision didn't come to pass

they failed to account for too many variables

They turn everything into a shitstorm, then scramble to deal

They all seem to love bitching about how hard their job is, they never have time to work, they're running around putting out fires everywhere

and pat themselves on the back for every "disaster averted"

when their reasoning and rationale spawned all these blazes in the first fucking place.

They cannot foresee how their directives to us, their crew

will run headfirst up against the requirements of a Command not under their control. There's standards there that should not and occcasionally cannot be breached on pain of violating the law

yet our bosses think everything will just magically work out in the end.

So long as they get to burn through employees, making impossible demands

and pat themselves on the back, awards and bonuses assured

nothing will actually change, the work we do will always keep piling up and get more complicated to boot.

I cannot bring myself to accept their bullshit any more.

and yet I hate myself for not fitting in.

[nathank77]

4/8/24

4:37 p.m added to at 4:54 p.m

I woke up like 10 minutes ago. I kept dreaming I woke up at 7 p.m or 7:30 and slept through therapy... I struggled to fall back to sleep when I woke up at 12:30... I took a Benadryl and everything and it took me until bare minimum almost 2 p.m to get back to sleep..... Therapy was at 4:30 she moved it to 5:30 bc of the eclipse.

I fell asleep initially just on the half MG of xanax... it took a little longer than usual, I was only going to give myself a total of 15 to 30 minutes max before I took benadryl but luckily I passed out by like, 8:15 or 8:30 a.m.

Anyways I woke up to a call from Walmart about the water bottle incident. I'm terrified to call back. The call is directly from the store I go to rather than corporate.... I'm worried they'll tell me I can't do it and then I'll have to go to another Walmart just to buy waters cause I'm always going to do it until someone else picks out the waters for me or I get a fridge water maker thing that's kept clean. I actually have one of those but orange nasty-ness came off of it once after about a year and my mother I don't trust she will ever replace the straw and assembly...

But whatever my next closest Walmart is prob 20 minutes away... and I buy water once every 2 weeks. I feel like a criminal and I'm scared to call back. I'm sick of being the mentally ill guy with the strange behavior.

Idk if I'm going to call corporate with my reference number and ask for an update or call the store directly. All I know is as it stands I absolutely cannot handle to be told that my mental illness is strange and so is my behavior and I'm not allowed to buy water there. I can't deal with any more dehumanization. I always buy the damaged packs to me they are the perfect packs...

So I'll do it when I can hear you can't come here anymore....

I kept having all these weird thoughts about len crafters. If I believed in mental messages, I'd think Elise was telling me to go there.... I mean I didn't receive any thought that was like strange or random but I just kept seeing the store in my brain and thinking you should go to lens crafters....

But I don't want to, I want to get the kohl's stuff and buy those sneakers. That's why it doesn't feel like its my thoughts.

If Elise was here and she was reading everything I know she'd want me to go to lens crafters.

But I'm so done with glasses and I don't think being able to see is that important when I look like a nerd.

I had a weird thought that glasses aren't supposed to be stylish, they are supposed to help you see... but I mean yea that's my brain trying to say Elise sent that...

[1d1195]

Their story is so so cute and the songs written about it just really paints such a lovely story! And you don't have to explain yourself Sam, like Im not going to be offended if you didn't like them lol Middle school for me was for my emo phase yet with Paramore I simply cannot let them go lol What's wild is I vividly remember Harry's debut album and one of Paramore's album being released on the same day and my little tween brain couldn't handle it lol AND A WEREWOLF FIC!? Honestly seems fun lol

oh you definitely weren't delusional! Im sure there was something! Plus like sure you're in a relationship now but that doesn't mean you can't like not think about it?! Because you may not want a relationship right now with him but it's very interesting to know what could have been ya know?!

Parking is stressful especially in a busy city so I don't blame you! I get stressed and typically im not the one driving lol

Also bestie that traditional extra... OH IT WAS SO GOOD!!!!! It was so perfect especially in the form her jealousy took in! Her getting mad or like angry at Harry because of jealousy seemed highly unlikely, so her reacting by feeling bad/insecure about herself made sense for her character! Ngl if I would have reacted the same way! and what HURT while reading was Soph bringing up that ice skating accident and HOW HARRY MIGHT STILL HAVE HER NUMBER?! like nothing inherently bad but more just like awkward? Anyways loved reading it!Plus I never once doubted Harry bc he's insane for her!!! Yet it was still to see her talk about it with him! AHHH anyways I loved it!!!

I hope your week has been better Bestie!! Also I think by the time youll see this, its Valentine's Day soooooo HAPPY VALENTINE"S DAY MY LOVE🥰🥰🥰 You deserve all the love in the world! Im so happy to have found your little blog and I swear just chatting with you always brings a smile to my face! Love you lots and I hope you enjoy your day filled with all forms of love!!!

ps. I will likely be a bit MIA next week :( i have another round of exams :( but most likely by the weekend after I will be back!-💜

OH NO MORE EXAMS. No worries at all, I know you'll crush it! Best of luck! It'll be here when you're available 💕

In spirit, I imagine having Paramore and Harry drop at the same time was a lot hehehe. I used to make my family stop talking for hours when 1D had an interview streaming (I knew all the answers they were giving ahead of time, idk why I was like that)

I was a diehard Twilight fan (#TeamEdward) werewolf fic was the time of my life tbh. There is very little that can compare to a soulmate-MATE. It might be my roman empire.

EEEEEKKKK! So glad you liked it! Harry is def insane about her 💕 she has nothing to worry about but sometimes you can't help those feelings, you know? I think I would prefer to leave Traditional Harry to the jealousy in the future though, not her.

It's been an okay week so far; we had a snow day yesterday and school break is next week so just two more days. 😅 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! Hope you get just as much love and more, you deserve it 💕

Love you, and talk to you soon!!!

xoxo

[beaisdifferent]

Dungeons and Doing My Best

    So, motivation isn’t strictly necessary for doing something, but it is really, really¸ helpful.  I don’t want to take the trash to the curb.  Even though it will take less then three minutes for me to put my shoes on and drag the bin down to the end of the driveway, I don’t want to do it.  So sometimes it goes ignored, until I’ve missed the Monday morning deadline and have to deal with an overstuffed bin for a week.  That motivates me to put it out, even pull it down early the night before.  But without the motivation, its just too easy to let the trash pile up beside my porch, where I also don’t want it to be.  So I just have to pull myself by the ear and take the three minutes to put my shoes on and take out the trash, or just do it when I already have the shoes on, such as when I’m going for a run or taking the dog out.  It always makes the bin feel a little heavier somehow, but it gets done.

     Lacking motivation makes things harder than they need to be, plain and simple.  There always feels like there’s more dishes, more people in line, more things to be said in a phone call when you just don’t have that kick of motivation to make them happen, making even mundane tasks feel like something you have to muscle through.  On the opposite hand, when you do have motivation—oh shit—that’s where it’s at.  When I properly feel motivated to do something, It’s like I’ve got those springs in my shoes you always used to see in cartoons, a literal spring in my step boosting me through the tasks that can become very easy, or even pleasant.

     Finding motivation isn’t always easy, especially for someone prone to procrastination as they try to focus on what they’re actually motivated to do that day (it’s not usually focused on taking out the trash).  So I’ve come up with a way to satisfy my desire for self-improvement with a hyperfixation as well as a work around for making my problems not feel like mine so they are advertently easier to handle.

     Those of you who are familiar with DnD already know about stats and character building, so feel free to skip this next part.  Those of you who don’t, please follow me into a brief, oversimplified explanation of how a character functions in this tabletop role playing game.

     You are given six stats: Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Wisdom, Intelligence, and Charisma. 

Strength: Hit, swing a sword, wrestle a fellow.

Dexterity: Sneaky your way past the guards, jump to safety when the rope bridge snaps, steal.

Constitution: stick it out, shake it off, hold your liquor. 

Wisdom: read the situation, understand people, make good decisions.

Intelligence: Book learning, nerd stuff.

Charisma: make friends and influence people.

     So these six basic abilities are the building blocks of what your character can and cannot do.  While we can’t simplify our life skills into numbers so easily, I have been thinking on a way to make daily tasks easier with the motivation of measurable progress and change.  So I present to you, the “DnD real person who’s trying their best stat chart”

     You have six stat blocks, just as your character would, and every week you start with a vase of 10 for each slot.  The goal, of course, is to grind and get those numbers up so you can slay the kobolts, mind flayers, feelings of paralysis, bees in your brain—whatever you’re tackling that week.    How do we build each stat?  Looky right down here.

Strength: You add plus one to this stat block every time you do a strength based exercise.  This can mean weight training, body weight exercises, or walking up and down the stairs until your thighs are aching with all the muscle their growing for you.  Everyone is going to be at a different place regarding what exercise and how much of it is appropriate for them, as always, take your time and listen to your body to find the method most appropriate for you.

Dexterity: You add plus one to this stat block every time you do a mobility exercise.  This can be stretching, yoga, tai chi, etc, whatever gets your body moving so you can bend, sneak, and do the splits past those fortress guards.

Constitution: You add plus one every time you, for lack of a better term, stick it out.  We’re doing cardio, high interval intermittent training, shadow kickboxing, or running.  But it also means walking the three miles around your neighborhood at a gentle pace, finally conquering the mountain that is your overdue laundry hamper, or setting a timer and sitting down for that thing you don’t want to do but have to anyway.

Wisdom: You add plus one to this stat block every time you do something to care for your mental and emotional wellbeing.  Disconnect from all technology for an hour or two, taking a nature walk, meditation and breathing exercises, journaling, or something calming and cathartic like knitting or drawing, whatever does it for you.

Intelligence: You add plus one to this stat block every time you do something that powers up your brain.  Reading, learning a new language, crossword puzzles, listening to an educational podcast, watching a documentary, anything that takes the little gray cells for a jog and leaves you more learned.

Charisma: Add plus one to your stat block any time you connect with someone.  Call your mom, talk to a friend, go for an outing to a book club or a DnD session, whatever means of socializing best suits you.

     These aren’t rigid categories, either.  Did reading that book exercise your brain but also let you rest and replenish?  That’s a point for both wisdom and charisma!  Did that long walk require some resolve to get through, give you a break and some fresh air, and leave you feeling sore?  That’s a point for constitution, wisdom, and strength!  A lot of these categories are based on physical output and exercise because most days my sanity depends on my ability to move my body and wear out the tv snow in my head, but it’s just a vibe, and you can adjust it anyway you need to.

     At the end of the week, tally up your scores and see what kind of character you might best play with your stat scores.  Did you do a lot of reading and have a great day out with friends?  What a sociable wizard!  You’re party will be so lucky to have you!  Did you do lots of push ups and finally set up an account to pay your car insurance?  Your party couldn’t ask for a mightier tank.

     For me, my monster is usually feeling bad about myself, feeling unaccomplished or incapable of functioning as well as everyone else does.  So having documentable evidence that I’m accomplishing things is a powerful axe for that beast.  Especially when I get to feel like my own half-orc fighter or gnome wizard while doing it.  for me, it’s a helpful state of mind if nothing else, so I hope you can get something out of it too.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 94

Changing Channels/Planet of the Ood

“Changing Channels”

Plot Description: Sam and Dean get stuck in TV Hell when the Trickster imprisons them in an alternate universe

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: they play out like a sitcom, I think I can handle that

My question off the bat is: is this the episode we find out the trickster is actually Gabriel? Yes, THAT Gabriel

God these bright almost Barbie-esque colors when your so used to the grimdark colors spn usually is

And GODDDD the cheesy lines and laugh track. I cannot.

I’m dying at this late 80s/early 90s sitcom opening. It’s very much Full House

Oh another Ohio episode!!

I’m sorry. What?? The Incredible Hulk killed this woman’s husband?

This “if we can’t befriend this super powerful being, fine, we’ll kill him” stance IS kind of funny

This is possibly one of if not the best/funniest episodes of this show

DEEEEAN!! Your composed descriptions of all the female doctors as “sexy yet [other adjective that actually describes part of a personality]” compared to when THE Dr Sexy appears. You can barely make eye contact

The over dramatics of it all

CAS!!!

“Mr Trickster does not like pretty boy angels” 😂

So if you’ve been missing for DAYS, how have you not beat the game??

Poor Sam first gets hit in the nuts and then has to do a genital herpes commercial lmaooo

Angels have such a fascinating way of coercing the Winchesters

The number of times the boys put on their sunglasses in this CSI Miami remake. Just love it

I FORGOT THEY DO A NIGHT RIDER SEGMENT!!! With Sam as the impala

Some of the best episodes are all fun and games for the majority and then they drop some of the heaviest shit in the last segment. In the middle of the episode, we find out “the trickster” is doing this to get the Winchesters to not only play their roles in his little game but in the real world as Michael and Lucifer’s vessels. But then…we find out Gabriel just wants this spat between his brothers to be over with already. The Winchesters fucked things up and now his brothers are at it again, this time without dad there to do any intervening.

Man the lengths Dean will go to for Castiel. He just threatened an archangel’s life like it would have no repercussions

“Been On My Mind…”: sort of. Like…they were illusions created by Gabriel, but…I dunno, bump it back up to 7??

“Planet of the Ood”

Plot Description: a dying Ood leads the Doctor and Donna to discover a terrible truth about the human race

Good for that Ood. Doubt they’ll let them live much past killing the guy selling his kind, but good for them anyway

I fucking LOVE her, comparing the TARDIS to a “real, proper spaceship” by calling the TARDIS a box and the rocket a Ferrari

Mmmmm, I’m pretty sure that guy gets turned INTO an Ood

GODDDDDD the way she cares for the dying and then dead Ood. Like, she does get one short freak out of seeing him for the first time, but she’s so gentle after

Ew ew ew, they’ve programmed these living beings like they’re little more than robots

I love how the companion automatically becomes very interested in whether or not the Ood have a say or fair compensation for all this. (Interesting though they didn’t write an Ood episode for Martha. Not that I 100% trust they would have done it right)

This Ood’s long game in revenge is brilliant

Honestly, Donna has to put up with a LOT in her time. Last episode it was the Doctor’s decision over what to do about Pompeii and now they’re dealing with transgalactic slave trade. It’s no wonder she WANTS to go home

I honestly can’t wait til Donna’s big speech. Her line about the Ood NEEDING to trust every being they come across because they’re born with their brain in their hands. She’s wonderful

I read that this was supposed to be the episode after Partners in Crime but RTD didn’t wanna put such a “macho” episode so early. And while there are a bunch of guns and explosions, it is at its core about compassion and treating others with dignity and about liberation and community

[high-theyre-frendough]

My girlfriend is showing me her old tiktoks but she used to not be on e and my brain cannot handle that that was her, even though im literally in some of the videos. 5 months of estrogen and she looks way different. i tried convincing myself it was like her brother or something, but then there was some that were full body videos and not just focused on the head and i’m like “no yeah that’s her, i have to deal with thinking about the complexities of being trans now” cause her body movements are just very consistent throughout time. I’m sick of her being my gf. getting boring. can we get married already? she gets annoyed when i say “gf” instead of fiancé but the number of “e”s in that word throw me off. gonna be a bit though. we need money for the license and other shit. its crazy how much hormones change your face. i still haven’t accepted that i look like a man now

[wytfut]

round 2...

Not looking for any pity here, so please refrain from interpreting that with this note. My purpose here is just getting the word out. A lot of People want to know “whats wrong with Bruce?”  So here is an abridged version.

I’ve been in some sort of pain on and off since 1999. I do realize that I’m probably luckier than a bunch of folks. But still it takes it toll.

All started with a bad dose of poison ivy, I got replacing a telephone pole in a backyard in Seward Nebraski. I’m highly reactive to poison ivy.

2 nights of misery, I went again to the ER... and they gave me a 5 days prescription to Prednisone (oral).

2 weeks later both of my hips had “died”. Literally they really had died. I had no warm up, to gradual symptoms. It just showed up at work, and just about took me to my knees. Exceptional sharp attacking pain.

Suddenly a guy in his 40′s and in the best shape of his life, was walking in baby steps. And blinding pain in both hips. 

I bared it for a bit, and then caved to making an appointment with a local Ortho Dr.  By the time the appointment came, the pain had subsided substantially, and I decided I wasn’t going to make that appointment. My lovely wife, changed my mind, and it was a good thing I did, as who knows where I’d be now. 

My hip affliction is relatively rare, but stats say up to 60000 folks are afflicted with this issue yearly, and I don’t think that is a small number. In general public definition, my body cannot handle Prednisone. I can handle any other steroid just not Prednisone. This affliction is called AVN (avascular Necrosis) caused by Prednisone. Check it out,... its real. Another cause for AVN just for example is alcohol abuse.

Very Surprising how many Dr.’s have never heard of this, or know nothing of it being caused by Prednisone . Yet many prescribe it for their own patients. I’ve heard it called a miracle med several times, and Dr.s prescribing with no thoughts or concerns. I don’t blame them, as the positives are huge for all the possibilities of use. Alleries, inflamations, lung issues, joint issues, etc. 

BUT Ortho Dr.s of any reputation know of this issue. Yet there is no testing for it. Nor has there ever been any 3rd party testing to verify it. Interesting to say the least. ...

Lincoln Dr. told me the diagnosis, and recommended a very good Ortho Dr. at Omaha UNO med center... Dr. Kevin Garvin... he at the time was doing cutting edge technology for hip replacements, including AVN.

Met up with him, and he decided that at my age (too young) for a total hip replacement will not happen... so we did 2 hip grafts in 2 years. He hoped for 10 years relief (the hopeful norm) and I got almost 8 before the pain returned.

Then in ‘11 and ‘12 I got both replaced. Amazing what kind of pain a person can adapt too. Once I had the hip replacements, it shocked me how wonderful I felt. Both times after surgery, the medical staff had to look around to find me, as I was wondering the halls on crutches. 

This pain I endured before the replacements, set off my brain for restless leggs syndrome. I had touches of it, lightly before this 10+ years, but during and after, RLS became a part of my life. 

Story goes, there are many examples of what causes RLS. But mine came down to over loaded pain receptors in my itty bitty head. Being over loaded, they react, thus the kicking and uncomfortable in bed. Rarely does it kick in during daylight hours. If it does..... it really doesn’t affect me, I just keep chugging along.

Then around ‘14 I had a heart attack. I assume some of it was due to the fact that I was slowly slowing down physically over the past 10+ years. I had put on roughly 20 pounds due to sitting around and not being fully active, with hip pain.

Heart Dr. said my health numbers (fat counts, and such) were all border line. My BP over the past 3-4 years had been raising and lowering drastically. I figured related to pain stress.

In reality? ... it probably was the “skoal” tobacco I was chronically using for 40 years. From what I understand, over time it ( as all tobacco) will raise your BP, AND the lining within your blood vessels become rough, and catch what ever is floating around (uh cholesterol apparently). No.... I don’t “chew” anymore. I don’t even crave it since the heart attack. But occasionally I do miss it... the buzz and the flavor.

From this time to now.... I put on another 30 pounds. Right after the heart attack, I started noticing a new pain...  my BACK!

All the years of hard labor, I never had any back pain.... ever... well once I had a muscle spasm. 

Been battling this back pain thing now for 2 years with a good Dr. And now finally last month.... I appear to be pain free from my back. Via an injection. NOT Prednisone, but another steroid.

So next up was to tackle this RLS issue... and got on a med last week. Nothing, nothing, then it started to work. Then the side affect showed up. 

Every morning I’m dizzy for 3-4 hours. This past Saturday it was all day, and nauseous. Here I sit, dizzy. Just got the call from Dr.s office. They are discussing currently what to do. 

UP DATE: .. Dr. wants me to stop the current med for a few days and see if dizzy spells go away. Then regroup at that time. 

Pretty sure way back when I had my first hip replaced I had this very same med as I had complained to Dr. Garvin. And I took it. I fell down 2 days in a row (totally dizzy, no balance), and immediately quit taking it. 

Update..... I’ve come to keep taking a current medication, but a smaller dosage... and it seems to be working. This med I’ve been on since July, and had a side affect of making me very “nappy” during the day. Nap attacks would hit with out any warning. I’d wake up not realizing that I had fallen asleep. And so went another hour without my knowledge. With the dosage down, ... not near the nap attacks if any.

Wish me luck. 

GGP Bruce