#its jsut happens to much for like
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sleepy gill and gill with the bubbled evil cat
#hi remember when i thought i was in for a really bad bout of hsr fixation. lets see how thats going.. lets just check in and#oh . oh no. oh this was. this wasnt the plan. oh no#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#gill in pjs got to me ok. gill fighting in pjs got to me. the thought of gill sleeping in a barrel of water with pjs on got to me.#wheni tell you this fkn podcast is the only thing ive been thinking abt for the past few days dude what thef uck#theyre all so stupid they get up to so much bs its fkn great i lvoe the three of them so mcuh WHEHhghh >:'O#my art#i keep nearly forgetting that tag help???#ive slowly been getting used to drawing them jsut you wait til i feel good abt the designs n shit ok its gonna be epic or smth#oop s its 1am soon whoopsies ehehee but like ..... the dumbasses... theyre in my head..#there are so many stupid scenes i want to draw 😭😭😭😭😭#im sorry to. my friends. for jsut . yknow. and everyone really#i wasnt ready for this 😭 idk what happened i just started going through eps so quickly all of a sudden and ive gone through like 12 eps in#2-3 days and i feel absolutely insane and i think abt them so much. theyve taken up all my time help
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uncensored dialogue. might shift the tone of this.
leo ends up regretting teaching raph cope jokes after he needs to draw a diagram of what the hell turtle penises look like to help him deal with the fact he had no idea what he was even dysphoric over. yeah he's 16 when he learns that.
the penis envy is a big thing for him. for obvious reasons.
#art#cw rape#cw csa#cw incest#i guess?????#jsut in case??? like its not im just like. you know its very much just them talking about their own bodies#but also their whole situation is fucked#but theyre literally coping theyre alright here nothing actually happened here#leos just like. god hes gonna be a new kind of annoying.#idk how canon this conversation even is anymore but its literally the first thing i ever drew for it
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ok so i saw a post (not mentioning it here directly bc no hate to the op of it, but im so annoyed by that plotpoint that i gotta rant) about the scene were they undragonfy zelda and it was all like
- no actually the people that are upset that both zelda and link returned fully perfectly intact dont get that it makes so much sense and is so cool actually bc its sonias time power amplified and reverseing both zelda and links arm so that she was never a dragon to begin with (thats why she doesnt retain any of its features) and link never lost his arm and its such a cool callback to when sonia amplified raurus light laser thing and the reason sonia didnt do it earlier is bc ghost cant be everywhere i guess :) -
i talked about this once before so i wont go super into detail but ... yeah that doesnt make that any less unsatisfying imo
aside from it just feeling like a thinly veiled excuse to return everyone to perfect and unblemished status quo more than a 'cool callback' it also annoys me on a game design level bc (as i mentioned in that older post too) why would you not include ANY of the signifiers of the time power when they do it? like the TÖK sound that goes off when you activate it, the world going black and white with that wave animation, and zelda actually transforming back like a reverse tp link wolf thing, ANYTHING? no its just sparkly light beam in ghost dimension town and sparkly poof everyones back :)))
also the implications of that even being possible is just .. making everything even more messy imo like if you can time reverse not just a persons body, or just PART of a body but also a SOUL being lost, over such a long time too.... that raises so many questions, if sonias able to do something like THAT how come she cant send someone back in time bc that tbh sounds way less complicated (on a sidenote is it jsut me or did anyone else feel like sonia talking to zelda -lol i cant help you control your powers you just gotta vibe with it and figure it out yourself bro- was a lead up to zelda .. actually getting control of her suddendly revealed time powers? or was that meant as in oh look she reversed a few weapons once :) bc it felt like it was meant to be she has to find out how to return to her own time USING HER POWERS .. and then its jsut kinda dropped, like so many more things and oh look a dragon :) )
but overall i just .... ok you can find a flimsy excuse for that scene but it still feels ... bad? like oh cool bad guys deaded once again for sure totally this time and everyones back to normal like nothing ever happened and also it even reversed even zeldas memory i guess so she literally cant remember anything and why anything like that was never done before that is bc of reasons(tm)
it just feels so meaningless, sure you can find some wobbly explanation for why something went like that instead of all the other possibilites but its just ... unsatisfying
am i meant to feel whole having returned everythign as if nothing ever happened? bc i just feel empty, especially on top of all the things that left me with such an empty feeling in the game it just puts the cardboard cherry on top of a cardboard cake, pretty to look at but shallow like cardboard and just as tasteless
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rants#i think was the tag for that#of course im not telling anyone else how to feel about it#but TO ME its all just#did they run out of time and just started making the flimsiest excuses to why something went like that bc theyspent 3 years testing the glu#it jsut amplified my empty feeling#also it just solves itself#i thought about how it could go to bring her back so much and then it just kinda happens#no matter in what cool visuals and music you wrap something if its core is a tasteless mush i wont like it#it just all feels so much like an afterthought#and its making me sad over what could have been#even without rewriting it all like im doing#just changing a few things would make it much better#but what do i know#im just a random guy on the internet being frustrated about a video game
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no but like i'm too stubborn to live without things being right
#vagueposting#like the thing is though if i didnt think i was right and carve out a space for myself#no matter how much i had to hide everything#i wouldve burst sooner#and it wouldnt have even been as.... idk#okay? prepared? understood? as rn#because like#i know what i want and need and what i need for out#and also why i need out specifically#like its a definitive need now#like damn yeah fuck i'd really really really desparately like a responsible adult rn#who acts as a parent#but thats not happening#and i'm too old for it now#you cant go back and replace those years#but i'll try my best with what i have#and with at least semi-responsible adults#as theyre not responsible like parents#more like people who are concerned with my 'wellbeing' / doing okay in life of me#but like they cant make me make descisions or even in some ways take my responsibilities#but okay fine at least i have that#and i guess its jsut keep on keeping on and keeping myself afloat#god also i am waiting for that therapy#i feel like the bubble popped#i need to earnestly talk about and deal with all the shit i havent processed
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apologies to anyone who stumbles apon my current pacific rim spamming im thinking about this movie for literally no reason again
#Pacific rim#its such a movie#i love pacific rim so much#my dad showed it to me when i was younger cause he put two and two together and was like#you like robots. and you like big monsters that look cool. Hey how about this Awesome Movie#and i tell you. forver changed. completely#i love rewatching pacific rim kt will never get old#im so tired rn so sleepy but this is what happens whe.n i get sleepy i start thinking about drift compatibility#and robots and monsters#its jsut a thing that happenes#rex rambles
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Saw your tag saying FSM haters come fight you. Here I am! Frankly I'm not so much of a hater as I am just of the opinion "wow this guy sure Started All This Shit" but I'm absolutely willing to hear your view of the matter if you're willing to share! Love some Friendly Fandom Discourse (it's healthy tbh) come at me bro 👊 👊 👊
HI LOL.... my personal opinion is that the FSM gets a lot of hate for similar reasons to wu (which i also think are unjustified but that's a different post). like you said he gets a lot of the blame put on him for starting everything that's to come in the show, but i don't really feel like he intended to do any harm.
the FSM was born into a war. when he was still a very young child, he was forced to choose one side of himself, of his family, and destroy the other. and so he ran away. but this world he runs to is chaotic and dangerous. and so again, he is forced to fight for the right to live in peace along with the inhabitants of this world.
but even in this new world, he wasn't safe: the oni followed him, determined to bring him back to fight for them. and after them, the overlord. his whole life, especially when he was younger, he had been fighting, or running from forces that aimed to destroy him.
i believe the FSM was incredibly paranoid throughout his life, worrying that at any moment everything would be ripped away from him. this can be seen in how secretive he was, how much of his history is hidden away. the mech used to win the war against the overlord was sealed away where it could never be found. he granted elemental powers to select people to help keep him safe. even in his death, he hid away, in a place that even wu could not find.
this paranoia carries on through his sons. he taught them both to fight, to protect themselves, when they were also very young. one of the earliest moments we see of them is them fighting with swords! and though he loves them, they are not immune to his secrecy, or his fears. when they steal the scrolls and enter the serpentine territory, he never fully trusts them again. when garmadon gets bitten and starts to turn to evil, he's desperate to cure him. and i don't fully believe that the FSM intended to make garmadon feel broken or "wrong"... just that his fear has so consumed him at this point that he can't see the damage he's doing to his children.
it's also worth noting that despite garmadon's corruption, the FSM never truly hated him. he was left to protect the golden weapons alongside wu, he recieved the same protective enchanted gi, and was left the same clues to find him after his death. it's just that garmadon was unable to see this through the corruption (which is another post).
perhaps all he did was to protect his sons. that seems to be how wu sees it, at least. because wu repeats this same behaviour with the ninja, even if unintentionally. he brings these kids into a war because that happened to him, and his father before him. maybe he doesn't even realise it's wrong. he hides things from them not only because because he's ashamed of his past (again, another post lol), but because his father always hid things from him. it protects wu, but it also protects the ninja.
i don't believe the FSM was a flawless person. hes one of many grey characters in ninjago, and to boil down everything he did to "good" or "bad" is a disservice. maybe you see him as someone who only ever ran from problems instead of truly solving them, maybe you see him as a cruel and neglectful father. and maybe those are both true. but he's also someone who always tried to fight for peace, for himself and everyone in ninjago, and someone who truly loved his sons, despite the damage he did to them both.
so that's who i think the FSM was. an immortal, all powerful godlike being, yes, but also a scared child who just wanted to live peacefully, and would do anything to prevent another war. and maybe he is, in some way, indirectly responsible for every bad thing in the show, but i think this is more of an after-effect of the countless wars and conflict. he did the best he could, and considering all he went through, i think he did alright.
#also like. he died thousands of years ago so the fact that its only recently things have been kicking off is quite impressive LOL#ninjago#the first spinjitzu master#fsm ninjago#SORRY THIS IS SO LONG.... hopefully it makes sense i rlly didnt wanna spend ages on this but theres soooo much to say#its hard not diving into hc territory too LOL....#like always my thoughts on ninjago are complex and weave into each other... so its hard to make them coherent but hopefully it comes across#i have two other big essay posts im working on rn so yeah i didnt wanna spend.. AGES on it haha#if u disagree or r confused come argue w me pleasee i love sharing opinions abt this shit. its so fun. jsut dont be rude thats all i ask :]#asks#also i didnt know where to put this but worth noting: wu and garm entering the serpentine territory risked starting Another war.#so him being mad is fairlyyyy reasonable i think. even if he was extreme abt it#smth else i didnt know where to put: the theory that the overlord is the manifestation of fsms oni side/inner conflict over his identity#issue upon issues....#anyway. i think its a little unfair that ppl always talk abt how awful it is that the ninja had to fight so young and stuff#when the exact same things happened to wu garm and fsm
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hi i am u_u resigning myself to the fact that it is unlikely that i will be able to get this piece done ANYTIME soon so here is the concept sketch for my one 3 yrs anniversary piece :) happy late birthday one hopefulyl ONE day i will be able to do smth w this ...
(sketch for the Whole piece under the cut bc its . WAY rougher . but it prob contextualizes Why i dont think ill be finishing this soon)
#hfjone#my art#didnt wanna ONLY put out a sketch for it bc one is Important to me but also#the rough sketch ALONE took soooo long and i am already low energy#but i wanna put SMTH out there for it yknow!!!#so! here is this :)#also it was mainly inteded as Fun Image . i wanted the whole cast to be here even if it makes no sense :)#these types of pieces are always so amusing and it wasnt my normal style of Anything but i REALLY wanted to#i almost put the entirety of s1 in here but then i was like. then id have to include ALL teh dead characters#and it made me sad thinking about including stella so i decided to jsut include characters who appear in the events of the series Directly#also this was no ones house in particulaar. i just was amused so much by the idea of airy holding an anniversary party#sorry this is so rough i rly DID wanna make smth polished but realistically its not gonna happen anytime soon :(#esp w 20+ characters and 3 point perspective . which i had to relearn how to do correctly
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opened up minecraft on my computer for the first time in like over a year i think nd got so so fucking scared cuz it was saying i didnt own it anymore (turns out i just logged into my bedrock account on accident) and then we had to deal with trying to figure out how to even log into my java account and we almost thought we completely lost it or smthn
#i dont really care abt my worlds being lost thats happened. so many times over the years i dont rllycare anymore#plus i barely spend much time in single player worlds anymore so im not as attached to them as i used to be#but oh my god i havent even logged onto lgl in like a year??? two years???????? i dont remember anymore but like if i lost all my stuff and#had to walk ALL THE WAY BACK if i ever logged on again id cry#<- this sounds so stupid typing jt out but like#i dont care that much its just… soooooo much and id feel rlly bad for gizmo especially cuz itd be such a setback#im already a huge liability when it comes to playing on there im ass at this game and constantly lose stuff#inquisitivewaltz.txt#oh yah ‘we’ is me nd my dad cuz i donttttttt know the login info for my account#well. i didnt. i do now cuz we had to reset the password#<- he made my account for me way back in. uh i dont remember when we got java but like it was all jsut set up for me when he got it it was#like a surprise thing for doing good a state testing or something#whenever ive had to log back onto the launcher or whatever over the years ive asked him for the password and it was one of the autogenerate#ones so i never remmebered it#rlly stupid of me looking back but oh well its in the past now#seriously thougj that was so needlesly difficult#mostly my dads fault he had like fifty million different login information combinations saved for the same thing
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;~; (tags vent)
#i feel so lonely and i dont know how to fix it#im trying to engage with people. im trying ot take space. im trying but nothing is helping#and like im hormonal so i wanna cry about it today#and like this loneliness isnt for one reason only#there's no One Thing#but so so many things making me feel like i cant connect#and even wiht making progress and even with coping and even with reminidng myself its okay to just feel bad sometimes like#i want company. i dont want online company i want irl company. i want friends. and im so miserable about the fact that i struggle to#make irl friends - not bc im not a good friend!! honestly tehre's been plenty of opportunities for me to make friends is the worst part#between work; disabilities; energy; and like interests/things to talk about its really hard to make friends (and tbh the first three-#really are the biggest drains). and i love my online friends i do i jsut. miss them all so much when i talk too much and then it hurts more#and i lost a friend group recently so im feelng really out of place#nearly everyday for the last idk. 5 months i had a group of people going “hey. love you” (even if they didnt say it verbatim daily) and lik#im so sad! and the feelings are coming out today ig cause i havenothing to do at work so im just. here#but yeah - ik part of this grief im experiencing is YET AGAIN experiencing change and loss re:friendships bc of things largely out of my#control /: and every time this happens it just brings up every single wound#im talking with my therapist about it too i just. wish friends were more permanent in my life yk?#or at least that i had friends irl still /: but all my deepest connections are all So far away#and it hurts so much to miss ppl rn im just. isolating myself#but i dont awnt to TALK. i dont want to TEXT. i dont want to hang out on a vc. i awnt to be held and loved and just talked to about anythin#other than the stresses in peoples lives. i want people to infodump to me w/o me having to Beg or Engage Correctly#i want people to tell me about themselves. jsut fucking lore dump in my inbox. its not dumping. i dont care about trauma dumping. if you do#cw i guess i jsut. im so tired. im tired of the “haiiiiii love you!!!!!” i have to do over the keyboard to have social connections#im tired of being so disabled i cant make friends bc no one wants to be friends w/ me irl and all the reasons (“ur a flake” “u cancel plans#“u never want to go out” “u never have energy” “why do you disappear when you need to recharge it makes me feel bad?” etc etc etc) all#relate to me being disabled and like.i feel like the problem. my existence is a problem. and the worst part is all iwant to do is just.#go run errands with someone. do important tasks &get a little treat to celebrate after. go to the doctor. the hospital. wherever im allowed#i want ot be a PERSON#): i jsut miss my friends#and liek im going to a thing later this month to try and make friends irl even if its just exercise friends
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Hello! I hope you’re having a good day!
What do you think about the new Zelda game that was announced? (echoes of wisdom)
P.S. idk if this question has already been asked or if you posted about it already so I apologize in advanced.
Hi! I hope your day's going well, too!
I don't think I really have any strong feelings about Echoes of Wisdom right now, honestly. I didn't really feel much when I saw it announced, mostly just feeling glad for the people who are excited; I'm glad that people are finally getting a proper playable Zelda, and I've decided to withdraw/keep quiet about my my cynical opinions about it since it's not out yet, and people do really seem excited about it. I think totk just really wore me out, so I'm not totally optimistic about what we'll get. But I'm hoping that it's good, and that the people really excited for it have a good time with it when it comes out!
I'm not the biggest fan of that art style, honestly, and I'm not the biggest fan of make-your-own-solution type puzzles, and the controls look like they're going to be really clunky to me, just looking at what the trailer shows.
Either way, I'm likely going to end up playing it anyways, since I did tell my mom about it, and she's pretty excited! At the end of the day, I at least hope she enjoys it, so despite my own feelings I am just hoping that it's good and that people like it.
#asks#zeldanamikaze#salty talks#sorry this took so long!#loz#legend of zelda#tagging this as i go- waiting to finished before deciding to tag the game in case this ends up negative yknow#probably not tagging the game ive decided#ig im just. idk cautious? totk killed my trust yknow so im just feeling a bit negative abt it so istg if it comes out and its bad or#has a lot of problems then nintendo i stg. make the first game with playable zelda a banger do not drag the wilds era problems into this#this sat finished in drafts for too long i thought i had more to add but i really dont i just dont really think about it much#the art for it's been cute. but otherwise its eh in my mind. mostly just i hope its good for the people excited abt it#also dw abt sending asks i mightve gotten before it never happened so far and i think if i did id maybe still jsut answer both#i like getting asks#i think rn with loz the games are kind still a lil clouded by totk and im too happy with my aus and my bellum x linebeck fic#so ive just been hanging out in my little niche
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tbh ppl are kindof mean
#maybe idk maybe its my fault but its likee every time i talk to ppl on tumblr ever they promise thier nice and different a hundred times but#like in one day thier like they get super mad at u if ur not there every day and thier likee#like u say u dont feel comfy sending pics of u bc of things thats happened and thier like ok i wouldnever ask u to bc we r friends#and like the next day they ask and ur likee i dont want to and they get really mad and ask again and againg and again and again#and then u feel bad and u do maybe some of what they want and they jsut want more or try to make u#and idk. i like to talk and make friends and talk about Stuff but i feel rlly bad when i say i dont wanna an ppl get mad#so im likee idk if i will wanna talk here anymore and i been avoiding it and stuff alot for like long times#but also like i like th people i talk to alot besides that and im not like like no fun or whvtever#and its like maybe im the one being mean rlly but idk like#like i dont like to make ppl sad esp when were like friends#just stresses me and makes me not wanna talk here#soo if i dont talk here again thats sorta why#ig#ill probbably still look at posts and stuff sometimes but idk for sure if i will talk so much
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when your current hyperfixation has music from one of your other hyperfixations so you have to try so hard not to just zero in on the really familiar music playing faintly in the background
sitting there using all my brainpower to process what is being said and trying my best to stay calm
holding my fingers up to my temples, face all contorted as i desperately try to stay present for the story
#T H E MUSIC IS SO SUBTLE. ITS SO SUBTLE BUT ITS ALL I COULD FOCUS ON DEAR GOD.#this is abt#jrwi riptide#tgaa#had a whole freakout earlier#ive been having many.of those. this podcast is positively ruining my life. uhhfmghh#ive been chewing through these bad boys (episodes) so much dude#i jsut. oh boy.#when i remember how to draw again... judt.. jsut wait n see ok.. it will happen sometime...#my brain is so fkn rotted like theres nothing left its been chewed through its been eaten
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im so annoyed my earring got fucked up
#the back stadted sinking into my skin of my earlobe eeeek#my sister got it out earlier and i thought i was gonna pass ojt like#vision going black dizzy lightheaded everhtbing#but we switched it oht w the earring i got pierced w and i think#its chilling..#but now itll take even longer for thay one to fully heal#i think its bc i slept on mh aide too much.#also when i took the original earring out on that side it was like Fucked up like the thing wouldnt detach#so i ended up jsut pulling it all the way through. NOT ON PURPPSE rhats just Whay happened as i was tehing to take it out normally#so maybe thats also why tnay happened bc im aure that wasnt.. Good for it#but i put the earring drom the other aide in it now so it wont be stuck in there again#Mannn#Still dont k ow why i literally had fullbody physical symptoms over it being pulled out at first#i asked my sister if it was bleeding a bunch of smtg bc i was like why else am i About to faint#but it wasnt.. my sister said maybe it was a mini panic attack#i was kind of freaming out imagining if it wouldnt have come out#Um a2t sorry ik this is kind of a gross subject.
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like actually
#dm spoilers#i’m trying not to write an laois essay but i think he might be the greatest autistic character of all time#<this is about how like complex he’s allowed to be in his world view while still having one track mind#<its so over#i say this every laois post but i am so glad there is a character that survives and lives and strategizes like this#bc it’s very important to me that i do. and that i ask myself what animals need so i know what i need#<so like to see a character jsut do that and like not have it feel like the author is making fun of it is orsomeeee#like i am never worried about laois giving into sowmthing that’s perfect bc he loves ecosystems. it’s never going to happen#the lion was literally like i know yoy love animals sooooo much so i will put you in a zoo. of course he’ll hate that.#i love like every dunmesh character but it gets annoying when they all call him stupid…. so i’m just happy when like +#laois gets to make a point with his world view and people listen ….#sorry for the essay i just am like i think sour that he gets boiled down to dumb and weird….you guyssssssss
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Hey I Think I Figured It Out
#eli.txt#i do not think its the Me that makes me want to cry all the time i think its the. I Am A Third Year Student Who Is Going Through A Lot#i mean. this is gonna get a lil darker than my usual brand of complaining so thanks for looking at my complaining post but yeah.#i mean i dreamed about my dad again last night. that hasnt happened in a while. i think i really am just way too stressed.#i think i am jsut going through it i :( god what the fuck what is going on in my funny brain#guy who has gotten broken up with recently and also is under constant stress#and has forgotten how to talk to people he loves because of the anxiety getting worse#who has started dreaming about his dead father being alive again after a long while#who has so much fucking shit to do and no time or energy to do any of it#let alone things he likes to do and barely has it in him to talk to people he loves and cares about#because he is just so fucking tired all the time. yeah no wonder he wants to cry all the time what the hell
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All The Times They Haven’t Kissed - Tiwpor edition cos we have tiwpor scenes now! - FINAL UPDATED VERSION
(there isn’t much but there would be more if they wouldve giVEN US TIWPOR BEFORE EPISODE 11- sorry im fine i swear)
(keep in mind this is subjective, it's just parts of the show where i reckon they couldve plausibly kissed but didn’t)
Episode 11: EATING THE PORK (im not okay) 1.5: Episode 11: they could’ve held hands while walking down the stairs (this one isn’t a kiss but i wanted to have it here anyway)
Episode 11: Sprinkle water (everyone is just copying soundwin at this point) (sponsorship induced kiss #1)
Episode 11: they just made so much eye contact in the episode, i swear they were mentally making out
Episode 12: TAKING PHOTOS TOGETHER?? (tiw, im telling you man, you could've kissed him on the cheek. or mouth. por would've been fine with that, yo wouldn'y care cos nook shows up after a sec, and pat wouldn't feel any more lonely than he already does. so dO IT)
and now for...
All The Times They Have Kissed
N/A
disappointingly nothing. BUT we have fanfiction so it'll be okay... kind of.
(all the times other ships in the show havent kissed: tinngun and soundwin)
#i love them so much you dont understand#why couldnt they have been secretly dating the whole time#they couldve kissed and the wider fandom wouldve been like 'WAIT WHAT WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN'#and we “delusional” shippers pull out our powerpoints and take over and tell them its been there the whole time their eyes jsut werent open#but they DIDNT and im MAD ABOUT IT#tiwpor#tiwsonpor#markford#msp tiw#msp tiwson#tiwson msp#tiw msp#msp por#por msp#mark pakin#ford arun#my school president#my school president the series
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