#its how I draw when Im relaxed and I'm trying to get ideas out

[madeleinelovescolours]

a butterfly

[blu-ish]

IS THAT YOUR AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS SONA??? THATS SO CRINGE/j

LOOONG POST 💀 Lore below!!

Fen is based on one of my favorite childhood toys I got at a carnival, it was a fox plushy with a looooong tail for some reason lol. I would bring it to school with me for "story time" and wrap myself in its tail shjshsj.

Her tail is limp, so it just kinda drags behind her when she walks lmao. Uno is actually one of my irl hens, I wanted Fen to look like a farmer, (Since I live on a farm irl) so the idea of her carrying around a NPC Hen was born.

I wear glasses irl, I tend to misplace them when Im switching glasses to contacts some days, so my mom always jokes that I "lost my eyes". So when Fen "loses her eyes" SHE RLLY DOES...

Fens bag is like a mini pocket dimension, she keeps almost everything and anything in there. (like Mary Poppins lmao)

Fens zipper is on her stomach underneath her overalls, first thing she tried to do when she was inspecting her new body was to unzip it, she practically deflated hsjhsjs, (everyone helped her gather her stuffing lol) she's careful NOT to do that again.

Uno was a "joke" gift from Caine, who within noticing she looked like a farmer?? Gave her a chicken, and she kept it. She actually really likes the hen, so Caine named her FEN for Fox + Hen. (very creative I knoeeee) Uno is named Uno for obvious reasons, being the only chicken in the circus.

She cant open her mouth, all she has is a straw of wheat sticking out, its unremovable and moves when she speaks, she just got used to it after a while. The tag on her ear is just an empty price tag, why? Idk lol.

Shes basically chill with everyone tbh, Fen doesnt like to bother anyone so she sometimes hangs outside the tent. She was very distant when she first arrived, but warmed up to everyone eventually and is actually very sociable with the people shes comfortable with. (just like me lmaooo/oh wait she is me xd)

She loves arts and crafts, she has millions of sketch books/scrap books in her messy room. Which she claims is an "organized mess."

She has a mild purely platonic crush on Ragatha lmao. She admires her optimism and responsible nature, and her hugs are the BEST.

Jax makes her laugh and she enjoys his company, as long as he doesnt REALLY hurt anyone with his "humor", while she's watching anyways. Fen gets really worried about other peoples wellbeing and will go out of her way to help them feel better (whether caused by Jax or not lmao), she ends up just ignoring Jax afterwards for a few days, confusing him big time lmao.

Fen thinks Kinger is silly, and helps him build his pillow forts. She likes Gangle and loves to share her interests with them both, she could talk with them for hours.

She likes to hang out and chat with Zooble as well. Fen thinks their design is neat and will sit and draw next to them in comfortable silence.

As for Pomni, well... shes still trying to win her over. But she likes her outfit and will offer if Pomni wants to sit next to her and relax on her tail, they dont have to have a conversation if Pomni just wants to sit and think hsjshsj. Uno doesnt really like anyone but Ragatha tbh.

As for how Fen even got trapped in the digital circus, well... Im still not sure how the VR headsets work or how they are going to work within the digital circus universe or lore, who made them, why, ect.

Buuuut for the sake of it, lol. I'm not even joking when I say me and my fam just bought my brother a new VR headset a few weeks ago, and I put it on to "act like I was playing a game" to surprise him when he walked into his room. So...

Welcome to the Digital Circus Fen! :)

[ultfreakme]

ok ok i have 2 things to say:

1) what do you think about yuuji being unaware to junpei having a crush on him?? like, from my part i think he wouldn't see the signs that junpei gave via attitude and corporal language until later. im curious about your takes

2) zukka having a date on the turtleduck pond....... the levels of fluff im dying

Thanks for the ask AAAAHHHHH!!!

Yuuji being oblivious can have two directions; one is that Junpei is trying to hidde all signs that he does have a crush on Yuuji and is failing very badly but literally everyone and their mother knows Junpei has a giant crush on Yuuji. Two is Junpei IS showing his affection, and Yuuji doesn't notice. In the first route, literally no one is having a fun time but Yuuji. Yuuji's like "wow Junpei's so nice, I wonder why he avoids me and acts weird sometimes" and tries to address it but Junpei's like" Me??? WEIRD????? HUH????No I'm not ahahahaha hey anyways wanna talk about this new DVD i got????" In the second, Yuuji has no idea anything is up. He just thinks Junpei is a very near and dear friend who has a lot of consideration for him. And personal hc, if Junpei lived, Yuuji-Junpei would've been the most closest friendship in the group. So now Yuuji's impression of "Best friendship" is Junpei making googly eyes at him, excessive physical contact, cuddling, going on solo hang-outs with the bro(they are basically dates). And everyone else is losing their goddamn minds because these two are practically dating already but Junpei won't CONFESS because he's insecure and scared Yuuji needs to be hit with a rock to figure this out. I think Yuuji, unconsciously, would be doing more romantic gestures and would also FEEL more romantic but he just has not put the label on it. "Oh yeah my heart beats fast around Junpei because I'm usually running to meet him" or "I feel all hot around the collar and blush because he's just so nice when he laughs like wdym you DON'T feel all fluttery too??? Look at him!!" And now Junpei is conflicted because wait is Yuuji....reciprocating? This clown show ends when Nobara and Megumi lock Yuuji and Junpei in their classroom and stage an intervention. Gojo is not helpful at all he keeps staring at them and makes ominous jokes(or threats, no one is sure- it's the Geto trauma getting to him).

2. ZUKKA DATE!!! omg Zuko would be so awkward and shy showing the place to him meanwhile Sokka is like "THE FLUFFIES!!". He's so confused as to why Zuko was acting like he was leading him down the plank just to show this place. It's pretty, it;s cute! Sokka is suffering from a bad case of the butterflies because Zuko's smiling really softly at the ducklings. Sokka is initially a little hesitant about holding them and Zuko thinks its cute how Sokka's like "oh my god, the little dude's nuzzling, they are happy in my hand!!" Zuko probably brought duck feed so they're also feeding them. And maybe it's a chill day so Sokka gets out his brushes and paper to start drawing. It's a terrible drawing but Zuko is on cloud nine because Sokka drew them holding hands and surrounded by the turtleducks. Sokka's trying so hard to make it look good for Zuko because he seems so excited to see it. They'd probably slump against each other under the shade of a tree and watch and relax, Sokka's 100% going to fall asleep on Zuko's shoulder because it's so.....peaceful.....and perfect and he feels safe and warm. Zuko is staying statue-still and admiring Sokka's slack face(literally no one but him thinks its cute, because Sokka sleeps with his mouth wide open and drooling and a little snoring).

[eomma-jpeg]

for the ask game, sorry if these have already been asked!

8, 10, 14, 17, 25, 27+28 :)

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

i already answered this, but what a shame! it is my college au and this first "book" is gonna be about the vashmeryl relationship coming to fruition, and the sequel will be them working through some loooong time trauma and issues, but together !

10. what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

oh months, certainly. i have wips and drafts rn that are just sitting.... waiting for me to return LOL

i try to go back and finish the chunks i have and not leave them like,,, halfway done, but i do have a vashmeryl wip i started.... over a year ago? and still have not finished it lol

14. where do you get your inspiration?

honestly from other media i watch. i'm currently planning out a trigun dancer au and i was motivated because of Strictly Ballroom, a silly Baz Lurhman movie (please watch it the romance is so cute and it takes itself so seriously)

also from my friends !!! @squid789 is such a good person to bounce ideas off of and has inspired (i stole her ideas) a few aus

17. talk about your writing and editing process

so... ideally i do what i did for in the meadow where I wrote and wrote and wrote,,, and then just constantly went over chapters with edits and rewrites until it was time to post.

with itm i was always at least 3 chapters ahead and had the time to go back and check through chapters, make sure everything flowed well, ensure continuity... but with my newer works it hasn't been like that.

I have good grammar and spelling in general and i also use The Internet to write on so it gets spell checked, but i don't take nearly as much time to edit my work as i'd like to anymore

im a sleepy teacher who just wants to post her fanfiction T-T

25. besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

alright!

so i love doing embroidery. im currently working on a cross stitch project that has been very relaxing

i love to sing. i cannot express to yall how much i love singing. it is seriously my favorite thing to do. i love music and expressing my feelings through song. i lovvvvvvvvvvve to sing (im pretty good too hehe)

i sew and draw (SOMETIMES) and i cook. i do a lot of things! i love to explore just various arts and crafts

27. your favorite part of the writing process

i just love creating. i love putting ideas on the page and getting the content that i want... because i love the writing of others (and i do apologize) but there is always something that isn't for me

but thats because it wasn't written for me!! it was written for the author

and thats why i write,,,, because i want something specific

and i love romance and it gives me the power to make my blorbos kiss >:)

28. your least favorite part of the writing process

putting the ideas on the page T-T

im a bit stuck right now with what a shame mostly because i keep doubting myself WHOOPS

but its so hard when i cant decide with idea will be best

IMPORTANT LACE ADVICE: it doesn't matter what idea you get down, just get something down. once you have something down, you can change it or decide if you even still want it. the hurdle is getting the idea down!

thanks goo !!!!

[xerospaced]

I've been tryna get myself out of burnout for years and it just isn't happening

The most I manage is a few days of somewhat energy and motivation where I can get the minimum done and then I'm back to everything dragging.

And typically the come down is a lower dip.

Meltdowns are becoming more frequent

Overwhelm is so easy reached

I "relax" or exist in neutrality but even the slightest point of friction or overstimulation is a significant drain.

It's been well over three years now

At some point I'd managed to convince myself the burnout was over. I keep telling myself that I'm right on the cusp of salvation.

A few more steps and I'll be moving and I'll keep moving

But it's not happening

I'm at a loss and I have no idea what to do to get out of this.

It's one thing to adjust mindset and recognise what needs to be done.

But there's no forcing tolerance

I can't rationalise my way out of being so easily overwhelmed by stimuli.

I can't will myself out of sensory vulnerability.

Emotionally and ratinally, I can do well enough to find my way to that "can do" belief

My practically...

I know that where I am isn't helping

The constant disruptions

The strangers in and out on a damn near daily basis for months on end

In my personal space no less

The immeasurable stimuli I am bombarded with the moment I step out of my room

The constant discomfort when tending to necessities

And I can't get out of this situation because in order to do that I need to be able to overcome, or at least succeed despite, my burnout

But my vulnerability and overwhelm is only increased and sustained by living in this circumstance

And even if I did manage to get to the point where I could fund my way back into a better situation again

The amount of money I lost last time I did so...

Fucking. Staggering.

I cannot rationalist doing it again.

The strain I put on myself. The dedicated work I did to improve my life in every possible way. All lost. And all I've got to show for it is burnout and more debt than I had before I started.

A slight improvement in maternal relationship.

But otherwise nothing better for it.

I won't do it again.

I need longevity.

Presently, I am in a state of existence where I am just stable enough to be but still entirely intolerant of any potential overwhelm or discomfort.

The pressure to succeed and improve is only building.

Age is looming. Time is flying.

And no amount of self-talk or convincing seems enough to draw me out of exhaustion and fragility.

I know what I ultimately need. But I don't know what I need to get there. Because there is very little support. And little understanding. And it is entirely on me to figure out and execute my way into better circumstances. There is no one to turn to in any way that could actually aid me.

I just feel incredibly... alone.

And for the first time im realising that I really don't want to be.

Neurodivergence has only gotten harder with age. I need a support system more than ever. I have only ever had myself. I believed that was all I needed. But I know now that I literally cannot do life alone.

I just have no choice.

And the only way to get to a point where I don't have to do it alone. Is to find a way to do it solo until I'm at a position where someone wants to move through life with me.

I feel stuck. Not hopeless just... incapable.

And I know there is so much potential in me. And I still believe I will tap into it.

I just don't know how.

But I think I have to be prepared to suffer.

I have been trying to be kind to self. And not push myself into dangerous territory so I might manage this burnout and find a way out.

But I think I'm gonna have to do the opposite.

Be prepared to destroy myself so I can create better circumstances despite my vulnerability.

And then just hope that once my circumstances are improved that there is enough of me left to find its way back to bloom after the fact.

I've tried the gentle approach. It's not moving me forward consistently or efficiently enough.

I'm gonna have to break.

Meltdowns will be frequent. Tolerance will be low. Isolation will increase.

So long as I can keep myself away from intentional harm. So long as I make room enough for gentle things and try my best to refill my cup...

I have no choice but to welcome overwhelm. Welcome breakdowns. Work through meltdowns. And accept that I am going to fall apart. Have a horrific time. Be miserable. And endure detriment.

So I can drag myself to something better.

I can worry about minimising harm when I'm there.

Until then, I gotta be ok with not being ok.

[in-my-feels-probably]

HEEYYY! CONGRATS ON 800 LOVE<3 How are you?

It sounded too fun for me to not join your celebration so here it is! i wanna say grishaverse like any character from both book series and i don't have a gender preference and ofc romantically cause i have no romance in my life.

Next year i'm going to study english literature in uni as a second language and i have always wanted to be a writer so studying literature is something i'm really exited about. I'm an enfp! My best friend once said my personality is like Elizabeth bennet's and i never forget that cause it's such an honor. i usually hyperfixate on reading or i binge watch and in the end i burn out for a few days. I LOVE drawing but i can't draw so it's always so funny when i try. I love harry potter's opening music(?) It's SO comforting. i don't use any social media very actively because i get overwhelmed by it really easy. And i apparently love oversharing on the internet.

Im sorry this is long i got carried away. Thank you for existing and please don't forget to drink water and eat, have really great day/night, love you<3

hi!

thank you for participating :)

i’m good btw, thanks for asking. i hope you’re good too. first of all, taste. i adore james potter. you and me sound very similar actually, i bet you’re really fun to hang out with.

anyways, i ship you with nikolai!

being a prince, he’s probably done his fair share of reading. i don’t think he reads in his free time, but i do think he’d appreciate a good book or quote. so while he might not read, maybe he’d ask you to read it him or tell him what the book you’re reading is about. and if you were writing, he’d be happy to bounce ideas off you so he could help. might as well put that high education to good use. and i think he loves music. “its enough to make a grown man cry,” is definitely something he’d say to you when he found a piece that he really loved.

i think he’d get along well with an enfp. elizabeth bennet is probably one of his ideal personalities that he’d want in a partner, so if you’re like that, he’d count himself lucky. someone who’s outgoing enough to keep a conversation going, but also someone content to just be calm and serene with him. he’d definitely love witty banter, but he’d also love some peace and quiet too, except i don’t think he likes being alone. so being with someone who’s happy to just be in his presence, and be there if he needs someone to talk to, he’d really value that.

i think he really understand burnout. he constantly has a million things running through his head, and tons of ideas, and there’s just no time to execute them all. once he did have time for his ideas, he’d get really frustrated when he couldn’t execute them well. he’d need some kind distraction, and you’d be more than happy to provide one.

he’d hear you coming, immediately relaxing when you took a seat beside him. “hello, darling.”

“are you alright?” you’d ask, frowning when he rested his head on your shoulder and sighed. “bad day?”

“very long day,” he’d answer, reaching for one of your hands. “waste of time, too.”

he’d show you his sketches he drew up when trying to create the flying ship, and you’d smile, taking a piece of parchment and a quill from him.

“i’ve got this,” you’d grin, immediately sketching away. you knew it would be terrible, but the smile on his face would be worth it.

he’d laugh so hard that he’d nearly make himself sick, settling himself into your arms. he’d consider getting you lessons, but he knew you didn’t draw because you wanted to be a great artist. it was purely for fun, and it made you smile, just like you made him smile.

“it’s terrible, darling,” he’d say, wrapping one arm around you while holding the parchment in the other. “i love it!”

[lagomorphics]

hi majora! your art is really cute, and I hope you don't mind if I ask about your process? I'm new to art and yours is an inspiration! I wanted to ask how you learned? and your process, because you seem to draw near daily! also any tips you might have for me? thank you!

HI ANON!!! ur very sweet thank u so much WAHH <33!!! idm being asked abt that at all!!

in terms of how i learnt; i've kinda always been drawing for as long as i can remember? been posting art online since around 2013-ish so i got a big big catalogue of stuff to look back on

but learning in specifics of like, how i learned to shade n draw bodies etc etc. i studied! theres a lot of resources out there that'll break down a lot of the 'basics', i dont have any i can name off the top of my head except for morpho; whole bunch of books about body types and anatomy.

im not really good at providing tips for how to learn (bad memory </3) but studying, drawing things over and over (i do with reference and then without, and try to draw in different angles/perspectives) is very useful!

ALSO VERY IMPORTANT: literally do not worry at all if what you draw the first time around looks wonky or "ugly". being negative towards yourself about your art only serves to stunt ur growth!! shakes you (and anyone reading this) by the shoulders. it can be very easy to slip into hating your art and not enjoying anything ur drawing. this is me telling u to try and draw something youve never drawn before. experiment. it may not look perfect or even "good" but it will refresh ur brain!!!!!

MY PROCESS...... oh man i really have been drawing pretty much daily huh? i do draw every day but its been a hot minute since ive been doing finished pieces haha

but basically what i do is; start with a few warm-up doodles! just anything to get me in the groove

then over the course of the day i slowly chip away at whatever pieces im working on (lined stuff will usually take me a few hours, rendered stuff takes a day or a few....)

i cannot really assist in like "so how do you draw?" because i honestly just go Lights Off Its Drawin Time! but i always do a rough sketch of an idea i have, refine the sketch, refine that sketch, and then if its rendered i'll make a palette for myself somewhere, but if its lined i'll start on the lineart and then fiddle around with colours.

i draw for fun, so if i dont like how somethings turning out, i'll stop drawing it. no use frustrating myself over a piece to the point of hating it!!

(this ones just forfun and just for me) i keep a small little doc full of notes about my own pieces! i like analysing stuff, and also enjoy talking about why i draw something in a specific way, so this is just a nice little thing for me to have fun with. also helps me avoid potentially slipping into "hate this. bad" mindset bc im specifically noting things that i Liked (i do obviously have a bit of chatter like "hmm i think i couldve drawn this better, i should keep that in mind" but its only when its helping myself. the jora does not talk bad about its art)

aaand then i do some cool-downs to get any last little doodles outta my head so i can relax in bed

in terms of tips? do stretches, walk around, TAKE BREAKS! draw at your own pace, and also Have Fun With It. experiment with different colours, limited palettes, different styles!

seriously though do make sure you take breaks and stretch im lookin you in the eye okay?

I HOPE THIS MADE SENSE AND IS HELPFUL IN A WAY i ramble. far too much. and im not the best at articulating my thoughts!! but i hope u have lots of fun drawing very cool stuff <333

[chemicalcarousel]

questions taken from this post

just answering all of these for myself because i can and i don't wanna wait for potential asks

Hi! Who are you right now?

I'm Levi ✌

How do know its you thats out? What are your usual cues?

Uhh good fucking question. i feel like a guy ig (dysphoria). and i have very strong feelings of justice and i get very pissed when ppl aren't treated right (im super vengeful). i also dissociate a lot when im confronted with my source and i think my voice is lower and im less "all over the place" than some of the other alters? i'm more "relaxed" ig, even if my emotions can get very strong and bordering black/white

Do you like it when people know its You and not the collective whole? Is it situational, or depends on the person?

It's complicated. i feel very exposed and i'm nervous what other people will think of me since i'm a fictional introject of a very popular anime character. i'm also worrying about which impression we as a collective have on the people around us, and if they know we are a DID system and which alters we got, then they might treat us in some weird fucking way (and let's be honest - that's the reality of it) but on the other hand, i feel so lonely and invisible when i'm talking to my friends and they don't know that i even exist, ya kno? i'd wish i could be myself around my friends and i'm still trying to find out if that is possible

What sort of aesthetics do you draw to?

i guess darker ones? like black and red. i like grunge and punk too. i also fuck with traumacore, again especially black/white and red shit. angry shit. im an edgy little man

What do you look like?

pretty much like my source, i just wear different clothes ig here's some pics xoxo

What sort of emotions do you feel mostly when you’re out?

anger, grief, vengefulness, idk man i'm ready to punch a bitch lol

What sort of situations are you out in most of the time?

I'm a host, but other than that i'm always the one going to sleep and i am the one that doesn't hate ourselves ig. i'm not gonna blame us for what other people did or do to us, ya kno. i'm a protector

Are there other parts like you in the same system?

we have another introject of the same character, but he's nothing like me or our source. so no, i think i'm the only alter like me in this body?

Are you part of a subsystem?

no, i don't think we have subsystems

What’s your relationship like to the parts nearest to you right now?

idk, kinda like roommates or "found family"? i'm not sure who's close rn tho, but i'm chill with all the alters i know

Do you have vague memories of before you came out, or do they feel blocked out?

i have no idea what this means. i think it means before i fronted and yeah we kinda have a "shared consciousness", but sometimes i realise i don't have all the pieces of what happened, but it's mostly greyouts and emotional amnesia

What’s your favorite way to ground?

nature, fidget toys, drinking something tasty

Do you have a favorite snack or drink?

idk i love coffee ig. i like food in general lol

Do you have a favorite item in the present world?

hmm... can't think of one item, but i have some clothing and other stuff that i like. i love flannel shirts and i love pretty teacups

Do you have an inner world? Do you have a place you like in there?

nah, not really. it's just a black void. we haven't been able to construct one and nothing has seemed to pop up yet

Whats a simple way other parts might describe you to like a therapist or something?(they’re the fierce one, the sad one, ect)

the angry/vengeful one/the fight response one

What’s the safest thing you can imagine right now?

so pathetic, but ig that's a part of why i was created. but the safest thing i can imagine is the guy i see as my soulmate (erwin), but he's a fucking anime character from my source and has never and will never be real. but he's such a comfort for me and thereby the entire system. i just wish he was actually real lol i definitely haven't cried myself to sleep because he's a drawing ahahaha :')

What’s something you wish the system would do more of?

stand up for ourselves. but i do understand why other parts don't do this and i don't blame them. i'd just wish they didn't feel this fear and shame

What’s your handwriting like?

idk ugly? i think all of us have an ugly handwriting lmfao

Free space! Tell me a random fact about you or something you’re thinking about

uhh rn im dissociating bc we are opening up to a friend about our DID and it's making all of us nervous, so that's what's in my thoughts. a random fact could be that i fucking love making fun of my source and i love making fans mad lmfao

[pheemuru]

I want to get a little personal for a sec

Below the cut I'm going to talk about my struggle with art, energy, time management, and trying to be an artist in the current social media climate while having a full time job in an unrelated field

In august 2023, i moved out of my parents home for the first time--I moved out of state and got a full time job. this is a good thing and a super positive life event for me! I'm now living with my partner of nearly 7 years and my best friend of 5.

However my relationship with art since before I even moved out... has been really rocky. My job now occupies my time for 6 hours a day 5 days a week. I work from 6:45 am - 10 am (im including travel time here because its still my time thats occupied by work...) and then I have a break until 2 pm. Then I work 2 - 6 pm, and depending on where I'm working at, I get home anywhere from 6-7 pm. I go to bed at 11 pm (This is a very big struggle mentally for me since my jobs schedule is very much opposite of how my body functions. I'm a night owl and not at all an early bird.) This is my monday thru friday.

By the time the weekend comes, I have other household chores to keep up with before I feel like I'm "allowed" to waste my time basically. I also use my time just... recovering for the next week. Every night I get home from work I take a couple edibles to wind down and relax, which is possibly the best part of my day when I finally get to turn my brain off from having to mask and wrangle 30 something kids throughout the day. (daycare aide moment)

How this relates to my art is that I really have zero drive to do any kind of art. I have no ideas. I see stuff online and think "wow I want to do that, I wish I thought of it". Creativity doesn't come naturally to me if it isn't the result of a college assignment or a commission. I struggle a LOT with concepting and sketching. I genuinely don't know how to doodle anymore either

In 2024 I want to focus a lot more on what's going to make me feel satisfied in a career, and so far the only option I have for that is making art my full time gig. However, anyone that is trying that or has tried that knows how difficult that is and how unrealistic it is to just be able to do that with no build up.

Here's where my struggle comes in; I have no fucking energy for anything anymore. I got diagnosed with adhd and autism last year, or just about last year. My job is insanely socially heavy (I'm around 30+ kids and have to manage them) so by the time that I get home, I just want to get stoned and watch movies. I don't want to create. I don't want to do anything. not even shit i like to do.

drawing has become so fucking hard for me. it takes me so goddamn long to finish a piece, I get overwhelmed by current trends, and it doesnt help that the fact of the matter is, social media has moved onto video formats. This means I will have to keep up with video trends to get any kind of eyes on my work. But how do you keep up with video trends when you don't even have any art to show to begin with, nonetheless ones that fit with the theme of the trends going around?

So now I need to make supplementary/filler recordings to fill out content if I want to be serious about my social media presence. On top of the fact I actually have to create art. On top of the fact that there's dishes in my sink every day and laundry that has to be done every week and groceries that have to be shopped for and a job that has to be attended to five days a week. I know 30 hours a week truly is not as much as others work to be full time but my god is it exhausting? All this shit on top of itself makes me feel like I regret moving out a little bit. Overall I don't, because I don't have to live with my parents and I can relax around my partner, but like. oh my god?

literally how does anyone live like this and not want to kill themselves. I had to get a zoloft script because i kept having mental breakdowns every sunday because I have to go back to fucking work and I never feel like I have enough time to do anything meaningful. by the time my brain is like, "ready" to work, its 9 pm and i have to get ready for bed in 2 hours.

I've contemplated getting my masters in teaching to be an art teacher, but I really wouldn't.. want to do that for the rest of my life? you don't really get days off if you need it, youre obligated to work outside of work hours just to get anything done, parents right now kind of suck, school admins also suck, curriculums are cutting art programs, and kids are also becoming so much more disengaged with art at younger ages.

with the state of everything I find it really hard not to just spiral into a depressive episode. I don't know what my future holds. Sure, I have my parents as a safety net now, but theyre approaching their 70s and arent going to be around for the majority of the rest of my life. what happens then? what happens when theyre gone and i have literally no other support beyond the little life i made for myself right now? i already feel like im not allowed to prioritize myself at the moment given my position in the household (full time consistent job that pays somewhat decent ((Decent being $16.75/hour lol)) for the area im in, im the one that can drive, im the one with the largest paycheck and most consistent hours). I can't really get days off at work if I wake up having a panic attack or even physical sickness. I'm supposed to just deal with it and clock in because we dont have enough people to cover last minute like that. And I'm someone with (honestly) debilitating stomach issues. I had to have an upper endoscopy and tests done which only yield so much if you don't follow up with an allergist, which I still have yet to do...

Currently I'm supposed to set up appointments for my dentist, an allergist, a cardiologist, and I need to contact my psych because my pharmacy told me my zoloft cant be refilled (second month on it btw lol).

so like. when the fuck am i supposed to have any kind of every to dedicate to a second part time job, my own fucking art business? the thing i want to be the most passionate about, i have no energy left for. I feel so wildly unsatisfied in my life right now because of this. I'm struggling. I'm struggling a lot and I wish i didn't have to work at all. I wish I could just have my art be my full time thing, but I dont have the audience nor the social media prowess to make that happen so quickly.

I'm tired. I'm fucking tired. everyone keeps saying "take care of yourself" or "self care" but jesus christ how am i supposed to when i cant even just work 4 days a week consistently because for whatever reason I'm the only person at my job that can do what i do? how am i supposed to practice self care when that self care would mean i quit my fucking job lol. i'm at such a loss and i feel like im just letting the time pass by like grains of sand in an hourglass. being torn between wanting to die and wanting to push through is a fucking insane feeling. all we do in life is struggle until we die and I'm finding it harder and harder to get over that kind of mental hurdle. every time i drive i have to fight the genuine intrusive thoughts of yanking the steering wheel to put myself in a ditch with my car just to give myself a couple weeks of a break.

I'm tired. And there's nothing i can do about it. how long can one weather a storm before getting lost at sea

[courtofmatchups]

This is such a good idea omg!! May I get a Match Up?

My Name is Maia and i go by she/her! Im about 5"4 which is pretty ordinary id say. I have green eyes and dye my hair alot as a form of self expression! I'm very artistic and draw or paint alot. I also write! I own 2 cats which tend to sleep on me or in my bed when I sleep. I think my friends would say I'm pretty energetic but I know when to stop kinda?? 🤷‍♀️ Theres nothing that I love more than making others feel safe and guarded. I also enjoy dancing, baking, cooking and singing! I also very much enjoy gardening and caring for plants or animals. I am an ENTP, meaning im really extroverted but I still have times in which I just want to sit back and let others do the talk. I get exhausted from public situations sometimes. I absolutely hate rude people, like the ones that are rude without a reason. I could break their bose each time someone talks to me or my friends like that. M favorite thing about myself is that I know how to communicate. It was hard acquiring that, since I have some childhood trauma in the bag. Meaning I start tearing up whenever someone I love might start talking to me in a pissed way or in a way that tells me were arguing because i usually avoid arguments within family or with loved ones. I tend to look out for others alot and i try to balance that by doing self care every now and then! I also value my sleep alot but sometimes I catch myself reading until late at night. I can be very crackheaded when with people I love but only if I feel extremely comfortable with them. When In a bad mood, I can get very snappy but that rarely happens because of me not wanting to gurt the people im around. I also enjoy the sun alot but I rarely go out. I just sit at my desk, starring at my phone like:

"Someone please.. Someone please call me and ask me to do something!"

So im not someone who initiates that by herself. I am definetly really touch starved and cuddling with people helps me relax alot. Sometimes, I tend to bite them. Idk why bro the urge is just there?? I love going shopping and treating myself more than anything but I have pretty faked self confidence. I try to keep it up around people but sometimes its just hard to not be self conscious about everything you do or how you look. I also have major back problems due to the size of my chest and the weight it puts onto my back💀 My favorite colors are pink and light blue or pastels! I either dress very romantically or like a full on lingerie model no inbetween. I also really value it when people communicate their emotions to me and I love helping them learn how to since it's really important!

Have a nice day and drink enough <3

It seems to me you've captured the heart of...

The Clement Prince

Aquia Avari!

(A/N sorry this took so long. Uni was kicking my ass 💀)

If there is one thing this sweet, soft-spoken man loves about you, it's your energy, and how you express yourself. And the fact that you know when to reign it in makes you all the more appealing to him. And when he learns that you're artistic, you have a green thumb, and the fact that you love animals, the ball just starts to roll. Your relationship starts with the two of you bonding over your love for gardening. And once he feels like he can trust you (trust me, with your personality, that won't take long), he's gonna invite you over to his secret balcony. He loves to listen to you talk about your interests, and he also appreciates that you like to hear him talk about his. What's this? You're protective too?

"How is this person so... Wonderful??" - Aquia Avari

Aquia does his best not to overstep any boundaries, and if he does, he'd appreciate it when you tell him about it. He knows just as well as you do that communication is important in any relationship. If you ever bring up your childhood trauma, he can't help but feel sorry for you, but also proud. It takes a lot of strength to grow around it, and don't even get me started on practicing not taking any shit from others.

Cuddles! Aquia would absolutely love cuddles with you. You may take him by surprise if you do nibble on him, but when you tell him that's just a way you like to show affection, he can't help but feel all warm and fuzzy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A long day of lectures had come to a close, and Aquia walked with you to his balcony. His plants look a little dehydrated, but it's nothing some water cannot fix. You offered to help him water them. He taught you the proper watering techniques for his plants (let's be real, most of these plants don't even exist on Earth). Meanwhile Mel and your two cats are playing (assuming hamsters aren't part of their diet)

A: "Ah, I just remembered! Maia, I aquired some Avarian Ale. Shall we have a drink?"

M: "Awesome! What's the occasion?"

A: "It's nothing in particular. I just wanted to share a drink with you. That's what paramours do, is it not?"

M: "You're not wrong there, hehe"

After a few drinks, the two of you sat there talking to each other, enjoying each others company. At one point, you asked Aquia to hold still, as you wanted to draw him. You've drawn him a few times before, but the surge of pure joy he gets when you draw him never dies down. You finished the sketch about an hour later, and presented it to him. Was he always this handsome to you? He couldn't help but preen a little.

Neither of you realized how late it got. Aquia noticed you were shivering a little from the cold so he draped his jacket over you and led you inside. He asked you if you wanted to cuddle as you entered the building.

M: "I thought you'd never ask"

Aquia led you to the sofa with his arm around your waist. He wrapped his other arm around you and pulled you closer. And you happily nuzzled into him, and gave him some nibbles on his cheek. And there you stayed, eventually falling asleep in each other's embrace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[hitoshisbabygirl]

Author's Notes ♡: hello hello! Welcome to another BNHAREM collab! This theme of office/work au just gave me so many ideas for some other characters I’m excited! Anywhooo I enjoyed writing this fic out a lot and surprised at how long it is actually! I tried to do a bit of progress between the reader and Shinsou but it might seem a bit jumpy, it’s over the course of a few months jump betweeneach scene!I hope you guys enjoy and check out the others fics too!! ~ bunny ❥

Warnings : NSFW! Tying up (only a little?) , pet names! (Kitten slut and princess!) oral (f! receiving) and I think that’s all!

Word count : 5.5k (another big boy!)

Paring(s) : Shinsou Hitoshi x F!reader

Summary : Falling for your boss was a feat in itself, but what happens when he wants you for himself the same way you do?

Enjoy ♡

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Working as a pro heros assistant has its perks and stressors, especially when the one you work for is the spitting image and personality of the one Mr. Shouta Aizawa ; aka Eraserhead. Quiet, tired, sarcastic but a joy to be around when the two of you could be alone , his sarcastic jokes and overall tiredness with whoever bothered him who wasn't his assistant was a fun thing to hear, especially knowing how he is. Becoming his assistant came as an odd thing too, from him saying he sees how much she worked and seeing the work she was capable of was the catalyst for him asking for her name and for her to be moved to be his assistant. And that's how [ ] found herself speed walking her way to her bosses office, tea , a bottle of water and some type of sweet muffin in her one handed tray and his files in another. Trying not to drop anything as she got closer to his door she pushed the door as hard as she could with a healed foot, sighing in relief as she was able to put everything down without incident. Hearing the door creak after she entered [ ] turned around to face her violet haired boss, a lopsided smile on his face as she straightened up “ H-hello Mr.Shinsou I have everything out for your meeting ; There's the food you requested and all of your files and documents about the the next briefing mission!” Smiling at the taller male his own smirk widened as he shut his door and strolled passed her, the smell of cologne and body wash waving over her senses.

“Thank you [ ]. You always take good care of me, '' Hitoshi said as he sat at his desk and started to open up the files, sipping the tea she brought him. Trying not to let that phrase make her skin tingle with pride [ ] started to leave, letting him be him with his work [ ] headed to the door before Hitoshi looked up and saw her leaving “Oh [ ]” he called out as she turned around , crossing her hands over her skirt that rose on her legs ``Y-yes sir?” “You look pretty today, as usual.” and there it was, the usual complimenting that [ ] wasn't used to. The compliments picked up within a few months of [ ] working with Hitoshi, the two starting already with a good work relationship from the beginning to a more comfortable friendship at work balance. For some reason [ ] couldn't help but notice she was the only female around him that he acted like this with, not comments towards her other female employees, he barely spared them a look as he saw them in the halls or gave them a small answer back to their cheery comments. But when he came over to see [ ] it was a different energy, he was more friendly, he talked a bit more about things he enjoyed and even laughed some! [ ] never even noticed the difference until some of the other workers said they were happy she had joined them because she made their boss more relaxed and calm as opposed to tired and snappy. Shaking her thoughts away she noticed Hitoshi was still looking at her, head resting on his hands as he looked her over before looking at the mess of papers under him “You ordered them for me huh? What did i do to deserve such a wonderful assistant.” He said as [ ] felt the praise make her chest swell. “I try sir” , giving her another smile as he sat back in his chair. “I have another meeting this week I'd like you to sit in on. You're smart and can help me with notes on the lesson if you wouldn't mind?” opening a shut eye Hitoshi saw the confusion then joy that ran through [ ]’s eyes “I'd love to Sir! It'd be an honor to sit in and help you!” She said as he gave him a smile he was selfishly enjoying only for him “ Great. And you can call my Hitoshi [ ], no need for honorifics when we’re pretty good friends now hm?” giggling [ ] shook her head “Sure thing Hitoshi '' Ah there it was for him, the sweet sound of his name on her lips. Watching as she bowed and left he couldn't help the raging thoughts running through his head as his meetings for the day proceeded as planned.

The next few days were odd to say the least. After his meetings Hitoshi was more quiet, slipping in and out of his office without interaction or barely a glance at even his closest friends. He didn't tell [ ] what he needed, more of a list he left the night before and gave her small but barely there smiles when she brought them to him or even brought snacks as his days drained on. This was the boss shinsou she heard of , not the hitoshi she was accustomed to. One day as [ ] sat in her room across the way from her said boss she heard a call for her, someone saying that Mr.Shinsou was needing her. Nervous about what he could need from her when he's already in a bad mood she headed up to his office before knocking softly, hearing a grunt ‘Come in’ from the other side. His office was relatively dark, just the natural light coming from the gian window from behind his grand desk. And sitting at his desk was a sight to behold. There he was, long curly purple hair tousled around as his rolled up sleeves of his normal office clothes laid tightly against his forearm, the few top buttons of the dress shirt opened to reveal the hard muscles built up as a pro hero should have. A face of tiredness, irritability and overall done was evident on his features, but as soon as his eyes met [ ]’s they seemed to have life comeback to them “Ah, you got my message” He said, his voice was laced with sleep, if the darker than normal bags under them wasn't even enough. Even with his sounding half asleep [ ] couldn't help the fluttering she felt from hearing him sound more...rough around the edges than usual “Y-yes i did , seem like you're tired sir can i help with anything?” Now having the man turn fully to face her she saw the look in his eyes , an almost mischievous glint in them as he rolled his shoulders ``This might be an odd request but..mind helping me stretch? I've been keeping up with field work and in the office too but with it all I seem to be overworking my body, I'm sore all over and not getting sleep is well….doing its damage” he huffed out a laugh as [ ] tried to hide the shock and excitement of his questioning. Being that close to her boss, a man she's come to not only admire but has caught a bit of a crush on asking her for help? But she thought it over ‘ I'm his assistant , its what im paid for’

Strolling over to him she gently put her hands on his shoulders and pushed, hearing the male under her groan as he laid back into her gestures “Fuck...I knew youd be an amazing masseuse..” he grumbled under his breath as he laid father back, sliding his shoulders deepeer into her hands as [ ] tried not to let herself to be affected with her bosses words “Dont be shy [

], you can push harder on me , I won't break y'know..” Hitoshi joked as she laughed, pressing her nails into his shoulders as a sinful moan was ripped from his throat. Feeling her face heat up [ ] just rubbed the knots from his shoulders, suppressing a squeal as the sound the violet haired man made increased. Rubbing over the back of his neck and shoulders all of the main knots she felt seemed to have worked out. Softly she stepped away from him and called out “I-Im all done sir, unless you need more?” hearing him groan as he stood she was faced with dark eyes looking her over “Those little hands of yours did wonders for me sweetheart, i should have you be my physical therapist too” laughing [ ] pushed his chest and crossed over the side of his desk to the chair that was across from his “Oh please it was nothing but me trying to loosen up your muscles!” crossing his desk as well Hitoshi came behind his assistant, placing his much larger hands on her shoulders ``Well why don't I return the favor, you've been helping me with all this paperwork and now being a masseuse for me...it's the least I can do'' he whispered in her ear as she let out an involuntary whine , feeling his hands tighten with his warm breath hitting her ear. Taking his thumbs Hitoshi did the same, rolling her muscles out of being tight and wound up, but making sure to do more teasing than [ ] expected. Every so often he whispered “Is that okay?” or some type of small praise, making sure to acknowledge . He was drawing it out on purpose, making sure to move closer to her with every push, or have her whimper with a hard roll or pinch of his larger fingers. Just as she had done he pulled away , but not before rubbing up her arms and giving that same lazy smile “Well I hope i was able to compete with your expert massage” Still overwhelmed she just shook her head and agreed , letting their eyes mingle longer before the phone ringing broke the silence. Sighing Hitoshi went back to his seat, picking the line up before answering “Hello this is Mind Jack” rolling his eyes the man answered, pushing his rolling chair side to side as he was listening to whoever called. [ ] could see how tense he was starting to get, those same shoulders sinking back to their tense state as he continued to drain on with whoever was on the other side “Yeah...the back was the way they seemed to bring in other collateral. Taking a pen from his desk and scrap paper [ ] wrote ‘I can leave and get you some tea if you want it’ and slid it to the violet haired male, his eyes glancing to the paper and back to hers. Snorting he took the pen and replied ‘You're too cute. I'm fine.’ frowning she wrote back ‘But you look stressed again :(‘.

Before she could slide it to him the sound of him yelling shocked her “Well of course there's a problem , no ones keeping a proper tab on him!” Jumping slightly at his hand hitting the wooden desk [ ] covered her squeal, looking up to see the furious eyes of the intimidating man soften before he pointed to her, curling his finger for her to come closer. Hesitantly she did, getting very close before he patted a thigh, shocking the girl. Before she could question him he slid the paper back to her “im sorry :(, mind sitting down with me? Could use a different set of ears for whatever this shit he's telling me...Unless you're uncomfortable, consent is key here and i'm not an opportunist :)’ Smiling at the small note she crossed over his leg to sit in his lap, hesitantly placing her weight down before hearing the older sounding man say something “One second Shin, gotta go get some files and the line was silent. Pushing the speaker and setting the handle down on the holding phone, Hitoshi rubbed at his forehead “This is a pain….I guess the lead we hand on a drug distributor is true but no ones properly following him..I might need to leave the office to follow from higher ground” He spoke up after sensing [ ]’s eyes on his closed ones ``But you should be resting ‘toshi not overworking” [ ] said as she felt his hand wrapping around her waist “God you're too good for me woman, sometimes I wonder how I can keep my composer around such a good girl'' Straightening her back [ ] felt her face heat up , a tingle running though her spine as he continued, getting closer to her ear “Yknow, you're always on edge with me, why is that pretty girl?” Whimpering she felt his hand stroke the mesh of her stockings “Always wearing such cute little outfits...you're like a doll” holding in her breath she gasped when she felt his fingers pinch her thigh “You still didn't answer me [ ]...” Clearing her throat she spoke up “You're just a bit intimidating is all sir..hitoshi” shr admitted as he chuckled , tightening his grasp on her waist “So I intimidate you huh sweetheart?” moving his hand away he just laid back, giving [ ] rome to breathe “You can relax,, I'm used to others ebing a bit scared of me so it's not that big of a surprise.” chuckling, he continued “ You don't have to stay on me , I was just being selfish with you”

Feeling a bit sad at his wording, [ ] turned herself around to look at him, and immediately regretted it. He looked perfect, body sprawled and relaxed on the leather office chair, a similar button up, this time black , was still left open , leaving his neck opened to see. The lazy tired look he always radiates was there, being a sense of calm from him. Since he was in the office he now wore more jewelry , a set of plain titanium bands fit over his fingers. That casually was scrolling his phone. Feeling herself staring too much [ ] cleared her throat and whispered “Well I like you...so I like it up here” And that phrase snapped Hitoshi from his scrolling “What did you just say?” realizing her open thought to herself actually was heard by him she froze, starting to rise from his lap “Ah nothing just-” “[ ], what did you just say to me..” grabbing her arm before she could get far enough she was jerked back to his face. Questioning eyes stared back at the nervous and faltering ones that stared back. “I said I didn't mind being on your lap..” She said as he smirked “But why?” Looking away from his piercing stare she let out a small snort “Well because its kinda comfy” The smirk on his face turned into a grin “That's not what I heard kitten try again” Feeling the heat spread to her face she tried to pull here arm from him only for him to hold it tighter “I..didn't say anything else” clicking his tongue he got closer, putting his nose close others “You said you liked me, or maybe my own thoughts are starting to take over” “What do you mean Hitoshi..?” Flicking his eyes to hear he realized what could happen so taking in a breath he continued “If you don't say it then I will...I like you [ ], the months you've been working for me has been the best time for me...I'M selfish with you..and i want you all to myself..I'm the boss here afterwards, so no ones really gonna question if I decide to make you mines”

Gasping at his confession [ ] tried to hide her face until a hand grabbed her chin “But if I was wrong hearing what you said then..I won't push it” Letting her face and arm go he leaned back in that chair, looking at her. Sucking in her own breath [ ] looked at him and spoke “Yes, I said I liked you, and I do, I've had one since the third week here and now its been months, I enjoy being your assistant, I like being able to make you happy and I...really enjoy being around you..” Meeting his eyes again she saw his smile before he put his phone down “Well with that squared away.. Why don't you come here kitten” By dropping his voice and rolling up the sleeves of his shirt [ ] felt like she'd just opened one of the best and scariest doors she could imagine. That was, until the phone rerung. Side eyeing it Shinsou still held a hand out for her, pulling her swiftly to his lap before answering “Yes Sir?” he started again but this time his hand traveled south, rubbing up and down the back of [ ] as he listened to the man on the other side of the phone. Something he said made the boy grab her waist hard, causing her to let out a sound of discomfort. Hearing that the violet haired male looked at her before whispering a soft “Sorry” and pulling her closer. [ ] saw what he meant ; the senior officer was all over the place, no one knew where anything from the heroes’ agencies were, all the papers, notes and documents on the case seemed misplaced or missing pieces and parts.

Focused on listening to the man on the phone as well, she felt herself start to lay on his shoulder to better hear him, slightly curling up on her boss's lap. Gently a ring clad finger slid under [ ]’s shirt, the cool metal cooling off her burning skin. Still buzzing off his confession she decided to be a bit bold, jutting her hip out so he’d have a hand full of her thigh if he wanted to. Still talking to the man on the line, Shinsou threw her a look, raising a brow before taking the invitation to the now more exposed flesh. “Now Hitoshi-kun I think we could work on a few different ways to trap him, I can send some undercover men to join you in his apprehension, this is our fault for losing him and if we come up with a good enough plan we can begin to execute it!” Humming in agreement Shisou felt himself becoming distracted by his assistant who was whimpering at his ministrations, fingers tightening on his shoulder as she let him rub over her hip, down to her ass and squeezing , before with every touch going lower. “Sure sensei lets..work on some places that we could..potentially set up” feeling the ghosting lips of [ ] on his neck Shinsou slid his hand lower to cup over her cheek , a warning that he'd go lower. Pecking a spot on his neck was the push, the same ring clad fingers going between her skirt and pulling the mesh from her core, causing her to gasp out. Smirking as she got back was a kiss to her temple before he rubbed just his knuckle against her core that was starting to weep. Signing out in content she couldn't help herself, knowing that he still was on the phone with the man fumbling to write up things to fax over she grabbed the sides of his shirt to smash their lips together, a grunt falling from the violet as he groaned, dipping in to kiss her deeper until he heard his name “Hitoshi-kun?” Breathlessly he pulled away from the kiss, seeing [ ] pout as he grinned, stuffing a finger inside of the hole he made and pulled her soiled panties from her lower lips ``Ahem , yeah i'm here sir, sorry just had my assistant bring me some papers and I got distracted” Licking at his lips he continued to talk to the chief while rubbing her little bud casually talking to him as he faxed over details.

An agonizing half an hour later they were done and so was his teasing. As soon as the chief said he'd call later and they hung up [ ] was on him, trying to kiss him as he slipped his fingers out and away from the mess dripping between her legs ``Well well well, the kitten can be bold when it comes to being teased'' Letting out a high pitched whine she when to kiss him again but he moved, going for her neck. “Patience sweetheart, I'm not even gonna do anything.” Pulling her up higher on his lap and cradling her waist his lust filled eyes looked over her heaving chest and wide eyes looking at his “You okay? I didn't mean to scare you with how fast we were moving” Shinsou rasped out at her. Feeling heat creep up her neck she shook her head ``'m fine, great actually. Just very um..needy” Laughing at her words he leaned up to kiss her cheek “Well I hope you know i'm not done with you...I’ll let you finish those papers that were sent over...maybe if you be a good girl I'll give you more hm?” Teasing her Shinsou ran his lips over [ ]’s , the gap keeping them apart almost nonexistent as he licked at her lips , starting another deep kiss. Letting his fingers run over her hips he pulled her tucked shirt out more, unbuttoning the ones closest to him as [ ] did the same, not stripping themselves bare but just enough skin for the two to feel each other.

Letting one hand pull up her skirt and one wrapped around her throat Shinsou could feel the heat radiating from her clothed lower half that was runting over his straining hardon. Slowly he grabbed her hip to stop her rocking. Before pulling away from the kiss, both breathing hard against the other “H-hitoshi...you're a tease” clicking his tongue the male gave her a look “If anything you're the tease kitten, rutting against me like that..and then kissing my neck? Naughty girl you wanted my attention and now that you're getting it you wanna whine about it and beg about it not being enough. I promise i'll give you more kitten, I promise you I will...I really wanted to give you a proper date and be able to show you I don't want you as something quick and damn sure not easy.. but at this rate...I'll end up pounding you on this desk like the little brat you are until you learn how to listen [ ], who knew you'd get bratty if you're not being stuffed and begging for more” Kissing her cheek Shinsou let her sigh and start to semi get dressed to get the papers ``You still could take em on a date though…” She said softly as his eyes watched her smooth and fixed her skirt “That I will do” Laughing [ ] awkwardly tried to pull the stockings she had underneath the tiger to fix the hole he made. Watching her struggle was now Shinsous task as his assistant pulled and tugged, soon hearing another rip as she struggled “Take them off” Blinking, [ ] faced him “H-Huh?” “I said take them off, they'll be off soon anyways” Pointing to the clock he was right ; they only had a bit more left in the office before they'd be going home for the day. “O-Oh yeah..But what about-” “If you're nervous I'll walk you to your car, you don't have to worry about feeling exposed” As i f he was reading her thoughts Shinsou spoke, making [ ] feel her heart rise in her throat “Okay...well uhm thank you sir” feeling even more heat in her chest she left out and did as such, feeling the cool air of the building raised goosebumps on her skin. Sighing, she grabbed the stack of papers on the printer, starting to work on them for her teasing boss.

Sticking to his word Shinsou did walk her to her car, a pleasant conversation falling between the two “Well,” her boss started “It looks like we’ll be up to more faxing tomorrow, I’ll see what we’ll need tonight. Thanks for listening in too, oh and for my massage” Giving [ ] a smile he opened her car door for her and turned to leave before feeling a hand grab his wrist “Wait!” Looking back at her he saw how beautiful she looked ; hair a bit disheveled, shirt and skirt not as neat as it was before their little...break. “Yes [ ]?” she didn't understand it, it was like nothing happened . He was the calm and level headed boss instead of the teasing and fierce lover she had hours ago “Well...nothing, it's nothing” Knowing what she was going to ask he stepped closer, pushing her back against her car. Taking his hands and gently placing them on her hips he pushed himself impossibly closer, just until their lips were over each other “Oh don't worry that wasn't a fluke. I told you kitten, I'm not an opportunist , I wanted you to be comfortable before I even attempted to admit my feelings for you, especially in that way” Giving her a soft peck he pulled away “Goodnight [ ] i'll see you tomorrow yeah?” and with that he started to head for his own car.

The following day [ ] made it a point to dress a bit more risky. Wearing a deep v cut and slit up the thigh black dress that was still acceptable for work with a long sweater she came in early to work on all the filing that would need to be done. Hearing a rep on her door she looked up to see one of the other girls come in “Ouuu look at you, whos the lucky person?” Laughing [ ] continued to order “Ah whatever do you mean?” The girl, Mina, came closer. “All of your outfits are cute or a bit womandly but this, this is a minx in disguise , like you're gonna go on a fancy date but really worried about the desert afterwards if you catch my drift.” Laughing with her best friend [ ] shook her head “I wanted to switch it up, honest!” Giving her a questioning look Mina laughed at herself “We’ll see, I bet Mr.Shinsou will enjoy what you're wearing” Eying her pink haired friend and about to ask why she said that they heard someone else open the office floor door.

“Ah hello sir! Welcome in!” “Good Morning Mina” Oh, OH it was the man of the hour, Shinsou entering the place. As he walked by he too, was out of his usual attire; still ring cladded fingers but a more civilian look going on. Skinny black jeans and a t-shirt help reveal the mass that a pro hero could be. Sure he wasn't a super hulk but he was very well built , long hair pulled into a messy bun. Looking up she saw Mina mouthing the words “He's a hunk” and fanning her face. Waving at her and giggling she heard his office door reopen “Ah Mina, would you mind helping the lower floors until the rest of the team gets in, they seem to have messed up your guys parts. You too [ ]” The both of them looked at the papers that were supposed to come in to them and sure enough ; they had “Yeah i'll go! I know [ ] has more important papers to fill out!” Cheerfully she headed out , leaving the floor empty to her and Shinsou “[ ]” “S-sir?” Glancing up from the papers she saw him leaning over the door frame, eyes studying what he could see of her outfit through her sweater “C’mere..” was all he said as he slinked back into his office. Nervously she left the papers at her desk and headed into his, hearing the soothing jazz in the background “Shut the door too” Pushing the heavy wood until it shut she laid against it, looking at her boss who sat at his desk. “So..how's all the paperwork going?” Nodding her head she let out a soft “Good” before letting the quiet jazz fill the room. Leaning forward and taking a sip from an iced coffee he pointed to the door “You can lock it too” Sucking in a breath [ ] twisted the lock, hearing it click as the room now seemed a bit suffocating. “Whats up sir?” Sighing, Shinsou stood, stretching before he strolled over to her “ Now Kitten..didn't I say we didn't have to do honorifics..” feeling like a deer in headlights she started to move backwards until she hit her back on the door. Smirking he pushed his hand against the frame, trapping her between his arms “R-right...sorry ‘toshi” The smell of the same body wash and cologne took up her air and made her knees feel weak “That's a good girl, now come, sit and i'll show you what we’re gonna be working on” Following shakely behind her boss she saw he was messing with his capture gear behind his desk “Ah the reason i'm dressed so down today is for that very reason; we were gonna go initiate a look around for our guy..trying to see if anyone who works with or knows him is around then i'll take them in for questioning” Nodding her head [ ] fiddled with the weapon , rubbing the fabric “it's so interesting how soft it is” Flicking his wrist the fabric moved to wrap around her wrists and tightened, causing her to gasp “sorry , I couldn't help it” Stepping behind her Shinsou pushed his hips into hers and pulled her up to his chest “toshi...whatre-” “Shhhh, quiet princess..it's time to show you how I can handle you” wrapping his fist around the two straps he used the leverage to keep her tied up before he placed her on his desk. Starting a searing kiss the two of them made out on it, hips pushing into each other as shinsou drew out her sounds. Pulling away heaving the two of them smiled at the other “Fuck..can I?” Rubbing at her colthed slit and starting to bite at her neck, not knowing where to start with her he asked for permission “Y-yes please , please touch me” Smirking against her neck he sucked a few marks before moving lower to her heaving chest to leave more marks. As he got to her thighs he made a show going between them “Shit love...you just had to dress like

a little slut huh..you knew I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of you..” biting at the thickest part of her inner thigh, before sucking another mark there.

Pushing her dress higher he sucked in a breath at the sight. She was wearing full laced panties, the pair thin enough to see everything she had to offer. Letting out a low whistle Shinsou kissed against the heat of her pussy, bathing in the moan of his assistant. Pulling off her panties and looking up to the heavy breathing [ ] he winked at her before sucking at her clit. A loud moan ripped from her chest as she tried to widen her legs to give him more room. Enjoying himself by making her cry , Shinsou moaned over her lower lips before sucking harshly at her sensitive bud. As pleasured whining fell and tumbled from [ ]’s lips he pulled away, stuffing a thick finger in her sopping walls. “C’mon love, let loose for me” “T-toshi! Please..” Feeling her mind get hazy with a push of a button in her walls. The coil in her stomach felt tight and rapidly getting tighter before she came, runting her hips against his fingers that continued to pump in her “Good girl..thats my sweet kitten” Overwhelmed by all the simulation [ ] looked up the the dark look of her boss who untied the ends of his capture gear. Pulling at the fabric he laid her over the desk and started to rock his tip against her sopping core. Wrapping a hand around her throat he leaned down to push their faces closer as he started to enter into her slowly. Trying to help ease the stretch Shinsou kissed her hard, shushing her loud sounds as he started to bottom out. Once he did get to bottom out the two of them sighed in content , eyes looking at each other “[ ].....I promise i'll be gentle I can't hold back anymore..you're mine you understand?” He growled out.

Clenching over him [ ] agreed, arching her back into him “Im yours Hitoshi...mark me” And with that he started a brutal pace, holding her hands with one of his own while the other held her thigh open. As the two groaned and moaned against each others lips [ ] felt herself clench hardr as another wave of an oragsm filled her mind. Seeing her tired and fucked out face filling her senses, Shinsou grinds, rubbing a pair of fingers over her clit “I'm such a close kitten.. ‘M gonna fill you up, can I?” Panting out to her he tightened his gear over her wrists as her pleasure teary eyes found his “please..inside Im on the pill its okay!” Feeling a shiver go down his spine he sped his hips up, going to fill her up as he started pumping his cum in her fluttering walls , a weak spasm was her wall's response to his fill. Letting her eyes fall shut [ ] felt shinsou breathing against her neck as her still tied hands reached to rub his back. Feeling him start to kiss her neck [ ] let out a content sigh “Hey..[ ]” he called out as she hummed “Once You recuperate we’ll go for round two...Im nowhere near done with you”

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Fearfull Proposal

Summary: henry plans a romantic proposal... and instead of coming clean about your secret fear of heights and ruining his romantic plan, you put on a brave face... well until your nearing the top of the london eye.

Warnings: fear, fluff, swearing, typos.

You quivered as you rose higher and higher over londons skyline.

Fuck why? Why the fuck had you got in this dangling glass death trap. A faulty few bolts and you'd be plummeting into the fucking thames!

Henry was standing by the window looking out at the glittering lights in awe.

You were standing with your back turned to the houses of Parliament hands clutching the rail eitherside of you knuckles white. Knees knocking.

God this was the stupidest thing you'd ever fucking done! And it was your own fault.

"Babe, look! God big ben looks soo small never been on this at night"

You hummed nodding but continued looking to the floor.

Henry paused when you didnt correct him with the whole 'big ben is the bell' you usually countered

He turned looking back to you and his stomach dropped.

"Babe? Whoa are you okay there love?" He asked frowning as he saw your eyes clenched shut almost as if you were in pain.

You were trembling and pale to the point he fearded youd pass out.

"Here come sit down and relax, i packed some snacks-" he said placing the specially packed bag of snacks and screw top mini wine bottles.

"No! No I'm fine... I will just stay here... By the saftey bar" you said giggling nervously sparing him a glance and patting the metal you were holding onto for dear life..

Henry faltered and really took in your apperance unsure what to do. It wasn't like he could get you off, you had to ride the ride.

"Babe? Are you scared of heights?"

"Nooo dont be sillyeee- OH MY GOD IM GONNA FUCKING DIE!" you began laughing him off then screamed as the ride stopped.

Instantly you ducked crouching whilst wrapping your arms around the silver bar shouting bloody murder.

It didn't help you were bathed in purple light so couldn't see shit.

Henry got up and rushed to you standing over you arms rounding you holding you securly.

"No, no its fine love... shh its fine baby, they said it could stop to let people on poppet remember?" He said quickly rubbing your sides as you cowered trying to fend off the temptation to look at the thames below.

"Y-yeah fuck hen- im sorry i just..." you mewled turning towards him tucking your head to his chest.

"Scared of heights huh? Why didnt you tell me?" He sighed pressing kisses to your head as you whimpered adn the ride began moving once again.

"Because you went to all this trouble, you planned this surprise and i didnt want to ruin it, you were soo excited" you sniffled blinking at him.

"Hey shh you silly girl, you should have told me. You wouldnt have ruined anything you silly sausage" he cooed winding himself around you tighter.

He was actually annoyed at himself, how the fuck had he not known his girlfriend of a year and a half was scared of heights?

He'd suspected a fear of heights when you both went on holiday for your birthday, but youd managed to convince him it was a fear of flying and planes... not heights.

And come to think of it you didnt even like the glass lifts in shopping centers, you ran to the corner and held on eyes locked onto the doors the entire time.

So this was the worst surprize he could of planned for tonight. Things weren't going to plan. Fuck.

"Babe im sorry" he apologised feeling like an asshole.

"No no dont be, this was extremly sweet bear" you said quickly not wantin to make him feel bad fpr your own short commings.

"Theres noting sweet about terrifying you"

"Do... do you want to sit down? Ill hold you the entire time" he offered peaking to the central bench where both your bags sat.

"I.. yes okay i think sitting will be better" you said then yipped as he prompty scooped you up and placed you in his lap securly.

"Im so sorry love, I just wanted to make this special and romantic" he muttered holding you as close as he could letting you know that you were safe and sound.

"It is! It is love really im just a baby" you said quickly grasping his face pulling him closer before peppering his face with kisses.

"Your not a babe we all have our fears" he said quietly pressing his forehead to yours.

"You dont" you sighed closing your eyes trying to ignore the snails pace of the pod that still rose over london.

You could barely feel it, but your fear amplified it.

"Oh but i do~" he replied peering at you, as yur eyes fluttered open.

"Like what?" The questionnescaped before you could think.

"No" he said eyes now becoming worried, anxiety clouding them.

"No?"

"Yes, at the moment thats my biggest fear" he said releasing a shakey breath as you frowned at him not following but didnt dwell as your ees darted to the side seeing the houses

"You see, i was trying to be all romantic and wait untill we got tp the top, but i think you'll be too terrified"

"Henry?" You said leaning back unsure about the serious tone he seemed to take.

"I brought us here, to the spot we met two years ago today..." he said drawing deeper breaths as the reality of what was about to happen hit him.

"Was it really?" You asked surprized he'd remember something like that. Anniversary? Definitely. But the day you first met? And asked for a selfie with a series of embarrassing squeaks? No you didnt think he'd remember.

"Yep. I remember doing a promo and shoot on this thing, then got off and was sat next to you in wagamama"

"And i squeaked for a selfie" you groaned with a small giggle.

"Im glad you did, i scanned instagram for days after- scouring my hashtag trying to find you... i kicked myself for not getting your number~"

"I still cant belive you did that... but im gld you did henry"

"Who'd have thought the nervous little thing trying not to even breath in my direction would be my girlfriend six months down the line"

"Or that we'd last this long?" You quipped at him trying to reme,ber to breath.

"And.. hopefully a lifetime? Despite me dragging you intoyour actual living nightmare- which i promise to never do again! Not even lifts"

You scowled and tilted your head to him not sure if you heard him correctly.

Untill he pulled the small velvet box from his pocket.

"Henry?! What? You cant be serious?"

"Oh but i am love, as much as i want to do this right and drop to one knee i doubt you'll thank me for releasing you?"

"Dont you dare let me go!"

"I think you'll find im trying to do the opposite~" he chuckled opening the box revealing the simple elegant ring three tiny diamonds.

"Im trying to marry you..."

You gasped eyes glazing over as you locked on to the dainty ring pinched between his fingers.

"I love you y/n, and i want to know if you'd become my wife and share your life with me. Will you marry me?"

"Oh god yes of course its a yes henry i love you bear!" You cried throwing your arms around him making him grunt and quickly clench his fist arohnd the ring before he dropped it.

He groaned into you rocking from side to side littering your head with kisses before peeling you away to sit the ring on your finger.

You looked at the glittering stones on your finger weeping. You may have been cursing yourself for getting into this godforsaken glass bauble in the sky.

But now you were he happiest woman alive.

"I love you bear"

"I love you too"

"Would you like some wine? I brough the little cute bottles you like" he offered nodding to the bag of snacks.

"Err lets not push it hun" you whined not sure wine at this altitude was a good idea.

You kept glancing at him still sniffing and giggleing unable to look from your ring for long.

"Gotcha, no wine"

"You look surprized i said yes?"you quipped needing to talk and take your mind off the fact your at the tippity top.

"I made you face one of your nightmares i thought you'd slap me silly when i ask" he scoffed pressing a kiss to your cheek unable to stop.

"Never love... but please never ever get on this thing again okay?" You pleaded fluttering your lashes at him pleading.

"I swear. Never again, but seeing as this is our one and only ride we should take a few selfies? Mark the occasion?" He said standing letting your feet hit the floor but never once did he let go.

"Absolutly, gotta show off my new fiancé" you hummed rising to share another kiss with him not really paying attention to the height you'd now reached, you had more important things to think about. Like sharing the rest of your life with this glorious man.

"My thoughts exactly" he grinned pulling out his phone aiming it at the two of you, makeing sure to have the hand that rested on his chest donning his ring in shot.

[echoes-lighthouse]

🤔🤔 was gonna make a mood board some other day butsaye your 200 follower celebration post so 👉👈 ill request if you like to,,,

-f/o’s name and source: Gilbert Bielschmidt (prussia) hetalia

-basic details of your s/i: my s/i is from a different universe, but she doesnt remember her past at the time, but yea its a lot to explain abt that. (if you want to know abt it you can ask me omh) her interests include astronomy, astrology, drawing, sunsets, landscapes of the world, cooking/baking, (phase 2 cos LOVES neon/or anything with lights so…)

-how did they meet? cosvin admired germany's house then saw drunk gilbert wh o drank beer- she was confused af yknow but yea, the other day gilbert was looking for gilbird and saw his bird was eating food from the birdfeeder in the nordics house (that house is where cos lives- ) so gil decided to kinda jokingly give a thank you letter and cosvin actually responded to it- and gilbird sent it to gil- and they were talking back and forth- later they decided to meet each other irl in a national cookie party; cosvin went 'oh shit he's handsome 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳' and thats when they star t their super huge slow burn romance haha

-what kind of hobbies/activities/interests do they share?: after cosvin;s interest of space; gil started to get more into it- same for stargazing? after gil, cosvin got into vintage, history, medival : D also they both visit a lot of different places together…. and gilbert's place where he relaxes over when hes writing (a huge grassfield- at night theres fireflies : ) they both go there often

-what is their dynamic like? well… i hc Gilbert as ENTP and im infj,,, i like to think he's the huge chaotic while im sort of trying not to make him chaotic but ends up failing and somehow starts helping doing the chaos? if that helps what it means? oh yea gil sure does invade a lot of space for cos, but she actually doesnt mind it? sort of embraces it sinc e she was also sorta touch starved haha she at first would feel herself very flustered about it though like 'dude did he just touched my shoulder??? 😳😳😳' 'oh my god he just petted me ☺☺☺☺😳😳😳😳' when they're a thing- they are extremely doing lots of PDA when no one was around (bc they kept their ship a secret at first) but soon they get found out tho they still kinda do it at some moments in public-

extras;

cosvin gets a lot of deja vu after meeting gilbert- (which this can be a soulmate thing 🥺🥺🥺🥺)

gilbert actually protects cos a lot, hes worried that she'll get to danger again thats before they became a thing

they go to medival festivals sometimes, maybe cos is a princess hiding in a robe while gil is a knight? : ) iDK FVGDHFKHDSBG

omh its a lot but yea lmk if you have questions im willing to help answer @v@

Oh wow I love this!!! Thank you for all the details! I love the memory/flashback elements, that's so cool, and the medieval festival idea!!!!

Here's your moodboard, I'm so into this ship.

Moodboard, Matchup, and Blog Rate Requests Are Open!

[p1nkwitch]

@nonbinaryeye

Here is another one. Did i write this and do the drawing instead of finishing writing a chapter of my own fic? Sure as hell did!! Still i had fun. I have two more short things written with other characters, but i will put those up tomorrow. Also i figured how to use colored words!!

FORSAKENTUNDRA has started pestering WATCHERSCROWN

FT: Elias

FT: ELiiiiiasss

FT: My beloved seashell, my Siren, my shining lighthouse, my guiding light, my little pufferfish <3

WC: That last one was the most horrible one to date, do not ever use it again Peter i will hit you to death with my weapon.

FT: It made you answer anyways, so I have some news…

WC: What did you do?

FT: I didn't do anything, Simon did!

WC: ………

FT: Its a funny story actually!

WC: I somehow doubt it.

FT: So i made it to your land

FT: And for some reason the path out had to go through the panopticon. Anyways I was just going to leave, no need to stick around with your mummified corpse, when-!

FT: Simon decided to be funny. Apparently he thought that it wasn't enough to drop Captain to be my sprite, no, he thought he wasn't helpful!!! wich mind you was completely untrue, the sweet Captain was a delight to be around.

FT: But i digress! So he, and seriously you will laugh i swear, he sort of- kind of, maaaaybe dumped your body into the sprite?

WC: …

WC: Haha nice joke Peter.

FT: I'm not joking, you want a picture? Hold on a second

FT: Here!! I even used those filters for it!!! Plus a picture of the Captain for comparasition. Doesn't he look grumpy?

WC: What

WC: WHAT?!?!?!

FT: <3 <3 <3 ?

Peter slumps against a wall, he had to kill and disappear so many bloody imps. At first it was alright, but he thinks the game might have broken a little when the fears followed them here. Because those creatures were looking too much like flesh monsters to be part of the game.

He winces and sighs at the feeling of Jonah patting his head softly, the purring was actually relaxing in a way so at least it made him feel more calm.

FT: So yeah, that's a thing, JonahSprite says hi by the way.

“No im not” No he is not, he seems to be personally offended by the existence of Elias for some reason, he tried to explain to him the philosophical implications of being there while the other man existed and how much was he even himself at this rate considering he was also a construct of the game to be a guide to him and not being able to do as he wants and blah, blah, blah.

Peter could not honestly understand what the problem was.

He was Jonah, and Elias was Jonah as well.

What does it matter who has more memories, eyes, or powers? They are still the same man to him, the man he married several times and whom he might be in love to some degree. Its all the same no matter what face he wears, he can never hide how much of a bastard he is.

Its the main reason he loves him and annoys him in equal measures.

In fact… Peter has an idea.

He looks through his nautical skylladex and once he says the name of a wrecked historical ship, it drops the spare cell phone. Picking it up he turns it on and installs pesterchum, adds Elias, Simon and himself as friends and gives it to Jonah who scrunches up his nose at it.

“A gift, keep it” Jonah’s face does something funny and he floats down to nuzzle his face before starting to play with it.

Peter blinks a few times feeling somewhat fuzzy inside. Elias only does that when he gets too drunk with wine and he clings to him while being chatty and lovey.

Captain did that when he was laying on the couch or the bed relaxing.

…

Both were very nice memories.

....

Anyways Peter makes a...

He hopes his god forgives him for this. A group chat.

FORSAKENTUNDRA has added WATCHERSCROWN and BEATINGHEART to a group

FT: So! You can talk and hash it out here, while i go kill more imps have fun my beloved Sirens!

FORSAKENTUNDRA has left the chat

“PETER!” He legs it out of the sprites range, he hopes they can make up now before they have to meet in person, because he is not sure how he is going to stop the sprite from trying to scratch Elias eyes off.

He has the feeling Jonah wants them back where they belong….

[kyutown]

Good evening my liege! 💖 I was intrigued to find out about you while diving deeper into tumblr hell so, I am here with a plead to ship me with nct and svt, of you'd be so kind ✨

Alright so for starters, I'm an infp! I'm a generally well-mannered person with people I meet for the first time, borderline sweet and awkward at the same time. I like not to overinvest in first meetings with people and sometimes I think I am somewhat defensive of myself. My emotions always show on my face, both the good and the bad ones. So if someone does say something that I find offensive or whatnot, it SHOWS. I generally hate rude and offensive people all together, as well as people who are vulgar if we're not well acquainted first.

I'm not good at starting conversations and I usually just tend to listen to my friends talk most of the time. It's not like I have nothing to say but I really like listening to my favorite people ramble on about things they love or generally talk about their lives. Im a pretty good listener and I am always objective, even with my family. I won't hold back and I will give you my honest opinion in every case. I always try to see from all perspectives, maybe that's why I'm often somewhat indecisive.

That being said, I really don't shut up about things I love or my hobbies. I'm usually the mood maker of the group as I hate conflict and tension. I am a very sarcastic and cynical person in general and that reflects on my humor, which can vary from vulgar to very dark and inappropriate. Yes, the type of person that will try to hold in their laughter cause I made a mental joke to a funeral. I love witty, stimulating and deep conversations. I'm not that big on casual chitchat but it's okay most of the time I guess.

I'm the personification of open-minded and im also quite opinionated and I can back up my arguments if needed but I tend to avoid getting into heated conversations cause again, my mind reads it as tension. I love being around friends doing nothing and everything but most of the time, I find alone time to be very healing for my mind and soul. I find authenticity and weird little quirks that people have extremely attractive. I'm somewhat stubborn as well.

I also used to have stress and anxiety issues, not anything serious but enough that I had trouble sleeping at night. It was just a few years ago that I decided to not care about every single thing and have a more of a "fuck that" approach in life and honestly, I've never imagined that it would be so liberating. I regained my confidence, physically and mentally, it was an empowering process! I really do believe that self-exploring and healing is the no1 most important thing that someone can do. Love yourself first and foremost and fck what anybody thinks.

So, moving on xD I am a romantic and soft deep down, even though I try not to show sad emotions when around people. But you can be sure I cry at random rescuing dog videos, or videos with people helping each other. I love humanity but hate it at the same time? 😂 Idk if that makes sense, it is what I feel lol I love to learn new random stuff! I'm currently studying linguistics and uni and I aim to be a translator or interpreter, cause i love languages and the cultural differences that come with it. Hence my undying love for music of different genres and languages! Music relaxes me and I couldn't imagine going on without it for more than 3 days. While I do tend to listen to kpop which is more upbeat and experimental, I also LOVE Latin music and rock. I love love traveling around the world! My hobbies include drawing which I'm self taught, fashion and creative writing! I tend to daydream A LOT during the day and so many ideas pop up in my head. I love exploring other cultures' religions and beliefs as well as mythology. I always found it fascinating. I love plants as well! My room is basically a garden xD I also love mystical but also borderline creepy and gory stuff xD I call skulls "pretty" the same way I would call a puppy "cute" 🤣 I'm aware οf that but I can't help but enjoy the look of horror in people's faces xD

oh, I really enjoy observing people as well! Not in a weird way! Their mannerisms, the way they speak, their features. I also love thriller and horror movies the most as well as dark social drama ones. You know, with murders, suicides etc I like how in even the tiniest ways they depict our society as people and frankly, it's sad but I try to be optimistic and keep a positive approach in life. I also really appreciate stand-up comedy xD

Closing up this huge essay, some last things xD I, and I cannot stress this enough, am unable to flirt. Like at all. I can't even maintain eye contact for more than two Seconds. I wish I was kidding. Sadly I'm not 😂Weird thing is, turns out I am actually able to flirt but I'm not aware I'm doing it?? I'm a master at text flirting apparently lololol. What I am, is also called DENSE AS SHIT when it comes to couple things. True story, if you want to do the freaky with your s/o and you need me to leave the room you better TELL ME RIGHT TO MY FACE or else, we gon be there aaaaall night xD And its actually a remarkable feature of mine, considering how dirty minded I usually am lol

I also think I'm touch starved sometimes, like I really like hugs and cuddling and teasing but I'm not gonna ask for it🥺I'm a night owl and I tend to procrastinate a lot. I can't work efficiently if there's not a deadline, like I need that pressure on me in order to function xD My weak spot is actually to act whiny and needy and cutely in front of me. I can do ANYTHING that u ask me of when this happens. And if I show any resistance, JUST KEEP IT UP. I'm jelly on the floor when this happens. Idfk why, it just works?? My sister is abusing the sht out of this method 😭I can't say I make friends easily, cause I believe I do come off as maybe off-putting or weird at times, plus as I said if you're really cant shove your conversation in my face the first time we meet, imma be just an awkward ball of giggles and smiles and "can I go home now pls" 🤣 My general aesthetic / vibes would be sunsets on beaches, soft grunge, cottage core, lofi and hedge witch aesthetics!

Okay so, I think that's everything and probably way more than u needed, so thank you for reading everything my stupid ass wrote❤️

hi! thank you for responding!

for nct, i think yuta would be a nice fit! yuta also likes rock as his favorite band is one ok rock which is a rock band. i feel like you guys would always listen to music (not always rock) and would enjoy making time go by like this!

for seventeen, i think you would match well with the8! the8 would be the type to enjoy exploring new cultures with you and new religions, he would also love to dress up with you and put together outfits with you!

[kookiestarlight]

dear tasha,

HIII TASHA :D how r you? hopefully you're good! before you ask, i've been feeling quite meh. i was sick last week and idk if it was the covid but i was sick,,, but i'm better now by the way! it's just my mental health is kind of meh :(( idk i just suffered through a lot of trauma as a kid especially since i'm quite overweight so i got bullied for that, and like i can't really move on from the past so i've been feeling eh these days :((

but anyway, forget that . the focus is on you !! i hope you're doing well and i hope you are trying to ignore the people who bring you down because in life there's people who have been through a lot so they just take it out on others, and i can't believe they take it out on you when you're literally so nice!!!

also, one thing i haven't mentioned is that your art is so cool!! are you planning to be an artist in the future? since when have you started to draw? was it forced upon you or is it some type of thing that helps you relax? it's so cool that you're an artist,, i have artist friends and like they're genuinely so cool and so funny :p ppl who can like do art are like one of the coolest and chillest people in my opinion. did you go to an art school to learn how to draw or did you just like practice on your own? i'm sorry for all these questions it's just that you're so good at it i'm like your #1 fan

sorry for the long paragraphs but i'm just like trying to leave messages for you because you know, i wanna support you and all that :)) i just wanna let you know that im excited for future fics or future posts, because your writing is so good. begin again really makes me happy even though it's literally angst right now IT STILL MAKES ME HAPPY BC ITS SO GOOD :') but yeah i am so excited for every fic of yours and overall you deserve an award for best fanfic writer :))

love , taegi's + tasha's #1 supporter

HI SWEETHEART!! ahhh you have no idea how happy it just made me to see you in my inbox!! I’ve missed you!!💜🥺

oh no :( I’m glad you’re no longer sick and feeling better now!🥺 make sure to rest up and look after yourself! and I’m so sorry to hear that love :( you did not deserve any of that, people can be so horrible :( but their words and actions don’t define you!! healing is a lengthy process and sometimes it feels like you’ll be stuck in that same spot forever, but I promise you better times will come!! I understand how difficult it can be to feel stuck in the past, but I hope you know you’re so worthy of love and you’re genuinely such a wonderful and amazing person, remind yourself of that every single day, even if you don’t believe it just yet, you’ll get there my love🤍 all your feelings are valid and you deserve all the happiness in this world :( I’m always here for anything you need, yeah? you’ll always have a place here to let go of anything that’s weighing on your heart💜

I’m doing okay! however this past week has been rough, because of uni mostly…also I was reminded men suck, so yeah🥲❤️‍🩹 my heart has been feeling a bit battered, but it’s alright! I’m keeping myself distracted constantly, focusing on school and trying to stay positive, because everything will be okay🤍

and omg, thank you so so much :( I’ve honestly always loved art, drawing specially!! ever since I was little!! and I took art in high school if that counts?🙈 though my dad is an amazing artist so I think I got a small amount of his skills maybe🥲 I do it for fun!! but at times when I’m stressed I often find myself wanting to draw? like it can also be such a therapeutic experience for me because I can just sit down and get lost in the drawing for a couple of hours!! I just wish I had more time to dedicate to it :( and don’t apologize for the questions!! you’re such a sweetheart😭

AJSKS you’re too kind to me🥺 I can’t wait to share all the things I’ve been working on and have planned!! (even though I’m very scared to for some reason🥲) specially begin again…👀 but thank you so so much for still showing it love after all this time, it makes my heart so soft and I’m genuinely so appreciative :( I hope you’ll love the rest of it as well🤍

thank you so much for taking your time to write me this, this made my day and it always makes me so happy to hear from you🥰 ahhh, I could never thank you enough for your kind words, love and support always, it means the world to me, truly🥺💜

I really hope you feel better soon, and I hope today treats you well, please take care and I’m sending you my love always angel!!🥰 from your #1 supporter💜💜💜