#its hitting hard since Valentine's day is coming near

[piecrust432]

Me and my fictional bae napping

[petalsthefish]

Genius

Summary:

After Lily breaks her iPhone, she finds herself at the Genius Bar on Valentines Day, and an old flame is there to help her in all things technology and romance.

read on A03

Marlene McKitten: babes you're missing out on blackberry margs!!

Lily Evans: I’m sorry! It was the only time I could schedule a time for my phone to get fixed!

Marlene McKitten: you just hate me, its okay, you can say it

Lily Evans: you’re a drama queen, Marlene McKinnon 

Marlene McKitten: you love me anyways…find me a hot date at the apple store so I can get discounts!!

Lily Evans: if I find a hot guy he’s mine for the night

Marlene McKitten: further proof that you hate me 

Lily Evans: I’m here. … Pray this doesn’t take five hours and I can come meet you for drinks. 

Marlene McKitten: how hard will it be to replace a screen? … I bet I could do it myself with youtube and a little superglue

Lily did not reply back to her friend, she didn’t have the heart to tell Marlene that superglue and youtube weren’t the answer for everything. Even if superglue had proven effective at keeping Lily’s favorite mug together after it broke in the dishwasher. 

Lily just couldn’t believe she was spending her free time at the Apple Store because she'd somehow cracked her phone screen. In all her years of owning a phone, of course it would be the most expensive phone she’d ever had that broke. Even her flimsy flip phone had been more sturdy than her iphone. 

“Hi, are you here for an appointment?” A scrawny kid about her age asked, holding the iPad too close to his face as he approached her near the front doors.

Lily nodded quickly. “Yeah, Lily Evans, for a screen repair.”

“Gotcha.” The kid's nametag read ‘Peter,’ and he barely looked up at her as he typed away on his screen. “I checked you in; just go wait at the Genius Bar.”

“Thanks.”

Lily maneuvered around the cramped store, sighing all the while as she made her way to the Genius Bar. It was rather depressing to be alone on Valentine's Day, but it was almost extra disappointing that she’d had to skip lunch with her girlfriends to come here. Lily couldn’t believe she was missing out on the tacos at Casa Grande, a tradition that went all the way back to Uni. She nervously picked at the crack on her screen, most annoyed that she’d somehow forgotten to add the screen protector when she got her new case two months ago. Another sigh escaped her lips before she finally took a look at her surroundings.

There were three boys at the counter, each of them so different from the other. The first, on Lily’s left, was a bloke with a leather jacket, emitting a touch of emo metal head from his persona. The one on the right definitely looked like he belonged at the Genius Bar in the Apple Store, thanks to his perfectly pressed sweater vest and nicely combed hair. The man leaning against the table opposite Lily, typing into his iPad, was a sporty-looking bloke wearing slacks with a rumpled button-down shirt.

She thought to herself, Actually, no, that sporty bloke looks really familiar… Oh. 

It hit her like a freight train. 

She couldn’t remember his name for the life of her, but he’d somehow gotten hotter in the year since they graduated from college. It’d been almost that much time since they’d danced at a party, stumbled up the stairs to his bedroom, and he’d fucked her on his bed. Not even a quick go. No, she had woken up in his bed to find his arms around her, her clothes all over the room, and her phone dead from going all night without a charger. 

He’d been such a gentleman when he woke up. He had practically stumbled over his words when he realized she was there, in his bed, naked with him. They had both been drunk, so even he admitted it had probably been a bad idea. They’d parted ways an hour later, Lily promising that she’d be okay to walk back to her dorm, and he had let her go so she assumed he really hadn’t wanted anything more than a once go in the sheets. 

More than once, she'd thought about this bloke, wondering what happened to him. 

His black hair was in a mess of waves around his head, and he didn't look up from his iPad as she stared in shock. She didn’t know what she’d say to him if they did make eye contact. The last thing she’d said to him was ‘thanks for the sex’ which somehow grew more and more embarrassing the longer she sat here and recalled it. She kept picturing his naked body in that bed in the morning. What would she say if he looked up right now and she was there remembering the contours of his body? 

Hi, I almost didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.  

She’d save that gem for later. 

Probably never. 

Lily felt disappointed as he walked away without looking up, disappearing through a door that likely led to the back. Her heart slowed in her chest, just slightly, but she felt like her throat was drier than the desert. She cleared it twice, earning a look from the guy in the sweater-vest, but he just went back to his task at hand.

Since the other two men at the Genius Bar were preoccupied, she took that to mean she was going to have to wait for help. She checked her Tumblr, finding nothing of consequence, just some idiots in her ask box telling her to eat dirt and choke on it. A usual occurrence on her blog thanks to internet trolls with nothing better to do than hate strong women like Taylor Swift and Captain Marvel. Lily was fully convinced people just liked to find something to complain about. She tried really hard not to complain or take anything a bunch of internet ghosts said to heart. She scrolled through her favorite Taylor Swift blog and saw there had been a new song mashup released. She wished she had brought her headphones so she could at least listen to the music while she waited.

London Boy crossed with This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things would be absolutely disastrous and she was here for it. She reblogged it for later, then exited out of the app, settling for people watching instead. 

Around her, couples were looking over new computers, AirPods, and various other electronics. All the girls wore really pretty dresses, and all the partners kept one firm arm around each other's waists. Lily’s dress was pretty too, and she played with the edges of the corset cut as she stared at the door through which the fit bloke had disappeared.

Had he spotted her and run? Did he remember her? Did he forget her? She wasn’t sure what would hurt her more, if he walked away because he saw her and remembered her, or if he walked away because he forgot about her.

Lily wasn’t a bragger, but she knew for a fact he had fun with her a year ago. She remembered enough of that night to know that he’d been really, really enjoying it. Not many men would get between her legs for her, and very few actually made her scream. No, he’d been one of two, and he’d been the best of all. 

Lily crossed her legs, trying to ignore the heat gathering on her face (and in other places) as she recounted that night. Sadly, her body wasn’t listening to her imploring thoughts. She felt like a damn animal in heat, the way her entire body was strung up, waiting for his reappearance. 

Beside her, the emo guy helping the old Lady change her voicemail sent her a sidelong glance randomly, and Lily felt a blush raise on her cheeks when his eyes grazed up and down her body as if he were checking her out. She didn’t drop his gaze, and instead offered him a smile. His gray eyes snapped back to the old lady and spoke to her in a smooth tone that didn’t seem the least bit flustered. 

She looked down at her candy-colored nails, the pink already chipping from scrubbing her hands too much at work. The phone on the table in front of her buzzed with a text from her girls' chat. Marlene sent a photo of a plate of tacos in the shape of a heart. Lily smiled and opened her phone, hearting the photo. As she did so, the grandmother finished her session and walked away, leaving the emo kid free. Lily looked up from her phone quickly, expecting him to turn to her, but instead, he had his back turned to her as he talked into his headset.

“No, I won’t stall for you—Prongs! Don’t argue with me.” He sounded stressed, as if whoever was on the other end was ruining his life. “Then get out here, you idiot.”

Whoever was on the other end was clearly addressing the whole store through that headset, as Lily witnessed the sweater vest-wearing, scrawny boy, and the long-haired brunette nearby all turning to send looks in Emo’s direction with raised brows. Lily couldn’t help but feel as if they were all looking at her too, despite her not being privy to the conversation happening.

“Hi,” someone touched Lily’s shoulder from behind, making her turn in surprise.

A baby-faced woman with bubblegum-pink hair smiled kindly. “Have you been checked in?”

“Oh,” Lily blinked owlishly, feeling stupid for thinking everyone was looking at her. “Uhm, yes, Lily Evans? Screen repair?”

“Our screen repair guy is stuck on the phone with a customer in the back,” she said cheerily, “but he should be out soon.”

“Oh, there’s a guy?” Lily said in surprise. “I thought screen replacements were kinda a universal genius bar thing.”

“Oh, we can all do it,” The girl’s name tag told Lily her name was Tonks, “but someone called dibs already.”

“Dibs?” Lily didn’t miss that Emo kid was cackling as he typed something into his iPad.

“Did I say dibs?” Tonks put a finger on her lips. “I meant he was assigned to you by the boss.”

“Who’s the boss?”

“He is.”

Suddenly, the door behind them slammed open, and a body stumbled out quite dramatically. Lily perked up at the sight of the familiar form. Sporty boy was back! His black hair was even more wild around his head, as if he’d been running his fingers through it non-stop since he’d disappeared. His glasses were skewed too, but it only made him so much more attractive, to see how flustered he was.

Tonks peered around Lily’s shoulder, her pink hair falling into her eyes. “Smooth entrance, Potter.”

“Thanks for holding down the fort, Nymphadora,” Potter said. “I can take her from here.”

Lily’s eyes traced his tall form, realizing it had been a long time since she’d been able to admire it. When her gaze returned to his face, her eyes met brown orbs that looked delighted to know she’d been openly checking him out. Lily’s mouth opened, but no sound came out. She brushed nervously at her red curls, biting her lip as James waltzed over to her at the bar, leaning against it so he was only a foot or so away from her.

“Hi,” his voice was smooth, like an ASMR streamer. “I’m James Potter.”

“Hi,” she almost choked on her own spit. “Hi.” 

James’ fingers trailed along the edge of the bar, casual yet deliberate, as he said, “I heard you rang for a genius?”

Lily’s mouth quivered when she heard Tonks sigh loudly. The emo guy slammed his palm against his head, as if James had embarrassed them all. Sweater vest physically gagged. James just kept smiling at her though, as if he could tell she was attracted to him regardless of his cheesy pickup lines. And it was true, she was. 

“I heard you are the only one in this store who can help me,” Lily flirted, watching his eyes light up at the challenge. “I had no idea you were so important.”

“Me either, to be honest.” He placed his chin on his hand, supported by his elbow against the bar. “What was your name again?”

Lily tucked her hair behind her ear. “Lily Evans? We met about a year ago at a party.”

His eyes seemed to sparkle as he replied smoothly, “Oh, I remember how we met, it was just your name that escaped me last year.”

The blush was uncontrollable now as she reached out a hand for him to shake. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“You have no idea how nice it is to see you again.” James’ grin grew wider. “And on Valentine's Day, no less.”

"I know how to make an entrance." She managed weakly. 

James' eyes were molten gold mixed with green flecks, "you sure do, especially in that dress." 

“Get a room,” the guy in the sweater vest muttered.

“How about yours, Remus?” James shot back, a bite in his tone.

Remus pretended to be interested in his customer's macbook in response. When Lily looked back at James, she felt a punch to the gut as she saw nothing but pure lust in his eyes. She could practically pinpoint where his mind had dropped, thanks to his eyes staring at her breasts, which were practically popping out of the corset cut top of her dress. 

“Like what you see?” She asked boldly. 

"Yes." He cleared his throat, and her eyes dropped to his mouth when he licked his lip and then curled the edges up to smile confidently.

Hazel eyes.

His eyes were hazel, and she’d forgotten that, so now all her memories were being replayed with coy hazel eyes that undressed her without even trying. He wasn't even trying to hide it, especially not right now. 

“Well, what can I help you with today?” James asked, breaking her concentration on his eyes. 

Dinner. She thought desperately. A quick go in the back of the storage room. Instead she offered, “I think I cracked my phone screen.”

James looked down at the phone in question. Lily picked it up, popping off the blue protective case in one fluid motion, before handing it to him. She fiddled with the case as he turned the phone over in his hands once. 

“And you’re sure it’s not just the screen protector?”

Lily shook her head no, “I tried to pull it off, twice, but couldn't get it, so I’m pretty sure I forgot to put the protection screen thing on when I got my new case.”

“Oh Lily,” James clucked his tongue, “always use protection.”

Oh, that was the wrong thing to say. 

Her brain immediately fluttered into the pit of her stomach with ideas of all the things they could do with protection. God, she hadn’t been so turned on since the last time he’d gotten her into bed with him…only this time it was daylight and she hadn’t had a single thing to drink. 

Pure thoughts, Lily Evans. She thought. He’s just a guy. A hot, cool, incredibly charming guy. Fuck it, I’m screwed.   

James casually picked at her phone screen, seemingly ignoring the desire flickering in her eyes as he remarked, “The glass shouldn’t stick up like that; I think it’s just a screen protector.”

“I really don’t think–”

Watching in mortification, Lily winced as he used his thumbnail to pry at the glass. Suddenly, a sound of unsticking reached her ears as he removed a screen case from her phone's actual glass. Redness flooded her face for an entirely different reason. She’d been a total, utter, helpless idiot for bringing her phone here.

It hadn’t been broken at all. 

“Oh my god,” she whispered, “Oh, no, no, no, no!! I am such an idiot.”

“No!” He quickly reassured her, “You’re not an idiot!”

Lily felt herself spiraling with embarrassment, realizing she just hadn’t pulled hard enough to separate the sticky tape from the glass. “I swear—I tried so hard—I thought it was the screen.”

His thumb brushed the side of her wrist in comfort, but instead of soothing her, it sent a wave of shame coursing through her stomach. “It’s an honest mistake; it was securely fastened.”

“Yeah,” she squeaked, noticing he had leaned closer over the counter, now mere inches from her face.

“Seriously,” he seemed so amused, and that only humiliated her further, “it’s fine, I won't even charge you.” 

She didn’t know if she’d ever felt more stupid, and in front of the hottest guy she knew, too. “I’m really sorry for wasting your time.” He searched her face as if seeking something within it. Lily withdrew her hand from his shyly and then grabbed her phone. “I’ll just go, thank you, um, bye.”

Trying to escape the awkward situation, she hurried out, acutely aware of the stares from those around them who had witnessed the embarrassing exchange. She slipped her unprotected phone under the strap of her dress and brushed her hair behind her ears as she rushed to her car in the parking lot.

“Dumb, stupid, idiot.” she muttered over and over to herself, repeating the whole scene in her head. “How did you graduate college with a science degree, but you can’t even pull a fucking phone condom off.” 

She reached her car in record time, the lingering sense of humiliation mingling with a cocktail of other emotions churning in her gut. Her plan now was simple: she would rendezvous with her friends at the taco place and immerse herself in a flight of margaritas. Maybe if she got intoxicated enough, she could erase this entire fiasco from her memory. As she finished flinging her bag onto the console of the passenger seat, she heard footsteps approaching from behind.

Turning abruptly, she was startled to find James from the Genius Bar standing there, a friendly smile gracing his features. “Hey, Lily.” 

“Hi,” she managed, her voice high-pitched from her embarrassment. 

HIs eyes dropped to the phone, precariously held between her pale skin and tiny spaghetti thick dress strap. “Why do girls stuff everything right there?”

Lily looked down at her phone and then back up to him, feigning tucking her hands into the folds of her dress skirt, “most girls clothes don’t have pockets–so we improvise.” 

“Interesting.” He then asked promptly, “Did you know that I worked here?”

“No,” she swore, as the wind made her skirts gather around her legs, “I swear, I had no idea.”

A light flickered in his eyes, “that’s a shame.”

“Why a shame?”

“I was hoping you made up that entire thing about the glass cracking just to talk to me.” He grinned. “But you genuinely thought it was broken, didn’t you?”

“You were hoping I was lying?” Lily blinked owlishly at him, “really?”

He lifted a lunchbox in his hand, smiling awkwardly. “I only have an hour for lunch; why don’t we catch up, and we can talk about what I was hoping for.”

“What?” Lily asked, not comprehending anything because her hormones were cheering excitedly.

“Sorry,” he tucked the lunchbox behind his back again, “did you not want to eat with me? I think I may have gotten mixed signals from you back in the store…”

“Eat with you?” she repeated. “ With you?”

“I know it’s been a while,” he was rambling, “I know we aren’t even like–friends–but you showed up and I–I nearly had a heart attack seeing you again. A heart attack in the good way–not a bad way. You are definitely good. All good. So good.”

Lily still had one hand on her car door, her chest rising and falling as she struggled to find the words. “I–I’m an idiot who can’t tell the difference between a screen cover and a phone screen…and you want to have lunch with me?”

James shrugged, “despite working at the genius bar–” Lily offered him a snort of amusement, “--I prefer idiots, don’t you?”

“You're not an idiot,” Lily said, motioning to all of him, “you’re–you’re that .”

“Eloquent,” his smile was so wide, his eyes crinkled at the edges. “But I’m 100% just as much an idiot as you.”

“How so?”

“I was an idiot for ever letting you go without a number to text you at.” 

She felt her stomach erupt with pleasant butterflies. “What?”

James looked down at her body, then back up at her eyes with a coy wink. “Truthfully, I've been wondering where you disappeared to for a year now and would really like to catch up. I’d also really love your number, for your working phone, just in case you ever need a genius to fix it again. Is that okay?”

Lily felt like she might be dreaming. She pinched her arm. It hurt. Thank god. “This isn’t a joke, right?”

“No,” James walked forward, almost flush with her person now. “I do love a good joke, though.”

“Really?” He was so close, she could count the tiny freckles dotting his tan nose. 

James' hand brushed her arm, sending shivers racing up it. “What’s the best book to read while eating breakfast?”

Lily felt a smile replacing her confused expression as she leaned up on her tiptoes, allowing his free hand to cup her chin. “What book?”

“Much Ado About Muffin.”

"You're right, you are an idiot." She rolled her eyes, but her tone was flirtatious, "a really, really cute idiot."

"They'll hire just about anyone to work the Genius Bar these days." 

Lily didn’t wait anymore; she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him down, letting her lips muffle his laughter.

She could still feel his smile through the kiss though, even when he opened his mouth to taste her with an eager fever she had forgotten about. She kissed him back harder, especially when she heard his lunch bag fall to the ground near their feet, and both his hands grabbed hold of her long hair to keep her firmly attached. He tasted like mint gum, like he'd just been chewing it before coming to find her. Like he'd planned for this exact scenario to happen. 

She almost swooned at the thought. 

Finally, what felt like only a second later, he broke off the kiss. When her eyes opened, she saw nothing but him, and that only made her smile grow wider. His hands remained in her hair, but he tugged them forward to cup her cheeks, bringing the red strands with him. 

“So,” he said somewhat breathlessly, “lunch date?”

"What'd you have in mind?"

"Calling out of work, taking you home, and ordering pizza for a long movie we won't watch." 

Lily stepped forward, about to kiss him again for suggesting it, but then she felt her chunky heel step on something, and a resounding crack filled the air. Lily thought it might be the lunch bag he’d dropped, and for just a second she hoped, but whatever was under her foot was smaller. She looked down, face white, and all she saw were broken bits of glass under her heel. Her heart plummeted from its high as she stared down at her broken phone. 

“I broke my phone,” she realized, lifting her foot to show a screen in tiny bits and pieces. “Oh my god, I really broke it this time.”

James untangled himself from her and leaned down, picking it up carefully, and they watched as it disintegrated into multiple pieces in his hand. His eyes lifted from the phone to her. She stared back at him. Lily fell against her car, pressing her hands into her hair as she processed her disbelief. James' mouth was partially open, like she'd just stunned him to silence. 

“I can’t believe this!” she half laugh, half cried, while wiping her eyes. "I can't fucking believe this!"

Then, James doubled over with laughter, weeping from the irony of it all. Lily crossed one leg over the other as she laughed too, her head rolling back against her car. Passerby in the parking lot shared attempts like they were lunatics for laughing so hard. It only made them laugh harder.

"What am I going to do?" Lily cried, her side in stitches. "Oh god, I haven't even paid that phone off yet!"

"I can't believe you broke it!" James wiped the tears from his eyes, "oh my god, your luck!"

"Oh fuck," Lily pressed a hand to her forehead, "I don't know why I'm laughing, this is actually so bad, I need my phone for work."

James walked forward to plant a firm kiss on her mouth before reminding her, “Don’t worry, you know a genius who can fix it.”

~~~

+44 7123 456789: Lily??? Are you Alive??? Your bedroom doors been shut since yesterday?? have you even been home???

Lily Evans: holy shit I am so sorry, who is this? I have a new phone and forgot to switch my contacts over from the cloud

+44 7123 456789: ....Marlene....HOW BROKEN WAS YOUR PHONE??? It was a scratch the last time I saw it??

Lily Evans: funny story...

Marlene McKitten: where are you?!

Lily Evans: do you remember that one time I got super drunk at a party and woke up in a hot guys bed?

Marlene McKitten: ya...why?

Lily Evans: I'm currently in his bed right now 

Marlene McKitten: ??? get home right now or so help me god I'm tracking your phone and coming to you 

Lily Evans: save yourself a drive and meet us at the Genius Bar, he's taking me over there to fix my old computer I thought was broken. 

Marlene McKitten: ?????????????

[xxsycamore]

may i request gilbert / gn reader for feb 1 ? you may choose the rating

of course and thanks for your patience ❤

ʙᴇᴡᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜᴏʀɴꜱ

gilbert von obsidian x gender neutral! reader

rating: M

tags: minor blood and injury; minor choking (in a non-sexual way); gaslighting; denial of feelings

wordcount: 989

part of "Be my Valentine", a content creation challenge hosted by me and @chaosangel767.

day 1: "Of course I figured it out. You were always giving me that love-struck gaze."

"It is a pity I couldn't meet with your King again today"

It's a bright, warm spring day in Rhodolite, ideal for a stroll in the famed gardens the kingdom so takes pride in. In sharp contrast to everything holding that dazzling shine around, the svelte figure of one Gilbert Von Obsidian cuts through the sunrays and seemingly absorbs them in the regal onyx covering him from head to toe.

Walking beside him requires a precise step - as if there are sharp glass shards scattered all over the scenic walk - and you're barefoot.

His words are the always on the thin margin between sincere casualness and subtle testing. It's hard to make something of it. They carry the air of fear - fear that he knows, indeed, all about that poor King of yours who suspiciously just never has the strength to welcome the foreign prince into his chamber. Fear that he knows much more than that, too.

"It is, indeed, Your Highness."

You always opt for the least amount of words that would form a reply to him. He likes to outdo you with a speech lacking a single word at all, this time too.

He is the only one who can make that breathy huff of a laugher curl with graciosity, but the bigger problem is why is he laughing at all.

You make the mistake to tilt your face his way, for cues, and he is fast to catch your gaze, before you can erase the suspicion from it. It's only now that you realize the shortening distance between the two of you, closer than what is plausible, another step - closer than what is appropriate, and another - closer that the rational. And you're only now taking notice of the dead end he walked you backwards into. Rose bushes graze your back, tall and crooked with their many stems outstretched as if they're hands looking to seize you. Though, the feeling might be coming from your front rather than your back which you've been on caution to watch since about forever.

Up until today, you doubted the beautiful garden can be a place of anything but intrusively sweet aroma and plush pillows on sofas.

It's Gilbert's cane that holds you in place, firm and hard, pressing harshly against your weakened hands that try to push it away - in a very motionless manner, however. You huff out under the weight of it, knowing well that the prince is nowhere near putting all effort into pinning you in place, and you curse yourself for not putting all effort in escaping his grasp as well. Your hands slip from the long, thin base of the cane and it suddenly hits right under your chin, forcing you to tilt your head up and gasp for the air that has been knocked out from your throat.

You've never seen someone with such eyes - a lone eye at that - and now that you can study it up closer, for better or for worse, you're mesmerized. Beautiful…is not exactly the word you're searching for, beautiful things are not meant to send crippling shivers of fear running down your spine.

The best you could do is stare at him, and stare, and stare. Your facial muscles twisting under the pain, and the puzzling feeling, into a grimace of hatred. Eyes boring into his single one with a sharpness, telling him to be damned.

Gilbert smiles at you, still holding you on the precipice of choking.

"You love me."

The ground under your feet shakes at once, seemingly, as if about to split in half and drag you in its depths. You fight to remain standing despite it being already ensured by Gilbert, to some extent. The eyes that widened at him are quick to squint as soon as the surprise dries to a bitter taste in your mouth - he is making fun of you!

"How did you-"

"Figure it out? Of course I figured it out. You were always giving me that love-struck gaze."

It's utterly ridiculous, that much could be seen from miles. Love is the last thing reading in your gaze. He is nothing but a threat to you, to your nation, to your loved ones. There is not a single reason not to hate him.

Yet, as he leans in closer, (for a kiss, your brain screams at you in alarm bells), you remember of the saying. What was it? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, or something among those lines.

Sun Zhu's words are blurring away to a distant echo of the very last one of them, closer, closer, and yet closer, and chasing after them means that you're chasing after Gilbert's lips too. A meek attempt to tilt your head so that your parting lips are presented to him and-

"Ack!"

Still entangled in rosebush, your vulnerable cheek is grazed by a thorny stem. The burning sensation brings a metallic tang in its wake.

Gilbert chuckles, the sound rolling deep in his throat, and while you're distracted, he makes his move. His lips miss yours and instead press against the thin-lined wound, soft as a feather.

And then they're away.

Gilbert withdraws at once, away is his cane, away is his tantalizing aroma, but not without stopping to pick the rose which thorns pricked you. He twirls it between his fingers like a prized possession, and you wonder if he's going to keep it in himself all the way back to Obsidian.

The gaze he throws you behind his shoulder, eye closing in utter content and smile glowing equality as such, you watch him walk away. It would be best fit for the scene to conclude here and wrap him in a mystery greater than you think you knew - only, you remember, you're the person meant to walk behind him in this impromptu promenade, you don't really have anywhere to go, at least for a little longer.







Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @ale-teodora @kimi00twin @otomelady @privilegedpancake @g-kleran @pumpumnnnp @thesirenwashere @ravenarld @kimmy-banana @devonares @animeworldsposts @randomanimatedhusbandoseeker @galaxyprison @sadshaxk @starshards26 @pro-cat-stination @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @keen19thcenturygoatsstudent @lordsister @ikemen-banshou @ikemenlover24 @themysticalbeing @canaria-blackwell @otome-scribbles @rhodolitesrose @fun-ghoul-neela @salty-fed-up-bitch @cilokgoang @kpop-and-otome @queen-dahlia @kisara-16 @chaosangel767 @ikemenlibrary @queengiuliettafirstlady @aurora-morning @aquagirl1978 @violettduchess @gilbertvonobsidian let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

[josiebelladonna]

8th house here (at least initially: past halfway through the transit, by the time i’m in my early 40s, it’ll move to my 9th). yeah, i’m already feeling this planet do its thing on me, and i felt it do its thing when it started off in capricorn when i was in 8th grade, except it’s not as harsh this time—it’s making harmonious aspects this time around and given it’s at home in the 8th house. when i was in middle school going into high school, it was at the end of my 6th house heading into my 7th and made these awful squares to my mercury, venus, and jupiter: i also had saturn in my 4th house from the end of my freshman year all the way to my sophomore year of college. this time, pluto is making sextiles to mercury and venus and a beautiful trine to jupiter: i also had my saturn return back around valentine’s day in my 9th—yes, for me, this is coming hot off the heels of saturn going through my 8th house plus my saturn return.

some things i’ve noticed almost immediately since it actually started wednesday evening:

i’m actually not afraid, and i’m really careful saying that, too (too many times i said that or even thought that and it bit me in the ass). saturn in 8th, for what it was worth, actually brought me a fair number of good things, and pluto being there, i noticed isn’t that hard of a blow.

almost overnight, i’ve developed this mindset of “if you see someone bleeding, help them, don’t just stand there and film it”. and yes, it actually cost me a friendship, which in hindsight, i feel like was going to end anyway.

i’m definitely protesting a lot more (i started doing it in 2020 but it’s gotten more and more pronounced as pluto has neared aquarius).

despite this mindset, i keep getting this pervading sense of guilt, like i just did something awful without intending to do so, and no one will tell me what it is.

i’ve been getting (very minor but) unusual (to me) injuries lately. short-lived migraines—like really short-lived, they’ll last an hour and then they’re gone (in junction with my regular migraines). at first, i thought it was carpal tunnel, but i’ve figured it’s very mild tendinitis in my left wrist: i can make a fist and i can do stuff but it does hurt a little, though. got these last year, but i’ve been getting cold welts on my hand, my toes, and the inside of my knees and even on my thigh near my crotch. they’re basically these red patches caused by cold dry air, and after weeks of rain and snow, it’s starting to dry out but it’s still very cold out. they don’t hurt, they just itch like crazy and they’re unsightly. oh! and i developed tinnitus in my right ear. aside from just my having problems with my ears most of my life, i could not tell you how it developed, either, because i didn’t get hit in the head, i don’t have cancer or high blood pressure, and i never listen to music very loud. it’s this weird, low humming noise that sounds like a helicopter off in the distance. it doesn’t really bother me (except at night), it’s just strange.

referring back to rain and snow, did i mention weather? you’ve probably seen the stories about horrific tornadoes in the south… we got tornadoes down in point mugu, montebello, and carpinteria quite literally the day of pluto hitting 0° degrees aquarius the other day (we’ve just been getting beaned by weather out here in california since january, but i feel like that was a flex from pluto).

i’ve been getting weird comments on my instagram (i’m an artist), these random accounts suggesting to collaborate with them, but when i go to the profile, they either don’t exist or they’re empty. saturn might have something to do that, too: lowkey you know he’s not a happy camper right now.

i feel like i’m being watched more, too, not necessarily from ai but actual people. there’s a lot of people watching me and yet they’re all silent for some reason.

i feel like i’m ahead of everyone but i also feel like i’m behind everyone, too. not sure how else to put that into words.

i’m seeing a lot of instances of “live long enough to see yourself become the villain”, like every single time i come online now—and it’s only been four and a half days, too. my crumbled friendship being an example of this, too: someone whom i met as a sweet, well-read, funny, big-hearted young girl became this angry, mean-spirited, kind of dumb, overly edgy, gross, obnoxious, near-sighted, transgender man triggered by the stupidest shit, with a chip on his shoulder, will not shut the fuck up about his relationship, and forgot about me somewhere along the way. people who claim to be feminist getting offended by the slightest bit of criticism, no matter how innocuous or genuinely helpful, claiming it’s based out of sexism or racism. there’s this overall vibe of laziness and delusion to everything, too, and i realize that’s probably where my mindset of “if you see someone drowning, go in and save them” is coming from.

i feel like people want more from their entertainment, too, like the fourth john wick movie came out on friday and everyone says it’s easily the best, most authentic one: i’ll be seeing it wednesday with a prepared ass.

“authentic”. this is a word that has been absolutely beat to hell these last 15 years, along with “be yourself” and i feel like both have lost their meaning at this point (thanks “fake it til you make it” and billie eilish. “billie’s authentic, though” no, she fucking isn’t, she’s another prepackaged pop star just like the rest of them but from a different angle). i feel this desire to be more authentic than i am right now, and i feel this vibe in the air, too. people want realness. like, actual realness, not realness that’s been packaged to look real and yet it couldn’t be more phony.

i’ve been feeling a lot more love, too, like love from my parents, my pets, my other friends, the fans i’ve made, and even from myself. ‘cause wouldn’t you rather love yourself and have a good time than hate yourself and feel like you’re fucking everything up? really, do the work for yourself, you’ll feel so much better, i promise.

really, i feel like i’ve entered my villain era with this transit. i was always the shy girl, but since the pandemic and saturn in aquarius, i feel like she just doesn’t live here anymore, and pluto is confirming the fuck out of that.

the french people protesting. the tiktok hearing and everyone either suggesting zuckerberg and elon be grilled as well, or actually doubling down and saying it’s the best social media site and worshipping algorithms at that (and when it’s actually the most exploitative site and adds to the feeling of being inside an echo chamber). ads on literally every single site to the point of making it unwieldy like why does everything have to move all the time?

this is all just from the last few days alone. this transit is going to be more jam-packed than pluto in capricorn, like i’m calling it now.

𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬

Do not plagiarize my work.

->The last time pluto was in Aquarius it was the 18th century. Basically after 200+ years!! There is a massive shift in terms of technology and revolutionary innovation which we have already seen happening in the last year or so. This will become more permanent and further developments will take place.

-> We as a society, will become more aware and equally very active in terms of speaking out on various issues. Themes of protests, activism, and reformation will be very much pronounced and possibly on a grander scale.

-> Interestingly, I feel like a major change will occur when it comes to our beliefs and thinking patterns. We are starting anew, our energies will also be more focused on spiritual and emotional growth rather than just materialism.

-> Also there may be more political protests and mass outrages. Another negative can be people may become to radical in their views and opinions. Because Aquarius interacting with pluto can bring in an extremist approach to situations.

Short notes on Pluto transiting through the houses

overall there will be a constant theme of learning, growing and facing challenges and more focus on the themes of the house it is transiting through.

1st House

Focus on yourself. Reinventing your appearance, style, the way people perceive you. Major glow up energy.

2nd House

Massive changes in your finances, jobs and general stability. Significant dietary changes as well.

3rd House

Changing your thinking patterns. Your communication style. Reading and learning more to improve your intellect and behavior.

4th House

Changes in relationships with family members and relatives. Themes of moving away or back home. Feeling more connected or disconnected from your roots.

5th House

A different approach to how you have fun. More creativity in your approach to life. Reconnecting with your inner child. Your view on how you spend time and who you connect will change.

6th House

Changes to your lifestyle, routines and career. Could also be exposed to dealing with your enemies and clearing karmic debts.

7th House

Could get into/ out of long relationships and partnerships. Could sign some very bonding contracts so be careful and proofread.

8th House

Rebirth. Definitely focused on soul searching and spiritual awakenings. Exploring unchartered territories of esotericism and the occult.

9th House

Could immigrate to a foreign country. Traveling for higher education or work. Expanding your mind with new ideas and philosophies.

10th House

A very intense and ambitious focus especially in terms of career and social status. Could meet very influential people.

11th House

You could change your friend groups or meet new people who are more aligned to yourself. A new approach to socializing and investing more in meaningful friendships.

12th House

Clearing out the past and healing yourself. Pay attention to your dreams they could be very prophetic for you. Spiritual and mysticism themes.

©️saturnianprincess 2023 | Pictures from Pinterest

[saintobio]

sugar spice.

↳ oikawa/reader/iwaizumi

what’s better than to spend valentine’s with not just one, but two guys?

genre. pwp, explicit smut, 18+

cw. vulgar language, degradation, polyamory, mmf threesome, cunnilingus + fellatio, fingering, voyeurism, dom/sub elements, daddy kink, unprotected sex, anal + vaginal, double penetration, spitting, creampie, aftercare

notes. happy valentines day! i had this saved in my drafts after an anon jokingly suggested an iwaoi manwich some time ago. and now, i think, is the best time to post it. it’s downright filthy you’ve been warned.

wc. 3.7k | deadly sins anth. mlist | general mlist

“He’s gonna get mad if we start without him.”

“He’ll be fine, baby. Come on, I’m horny as fuck.”

The first wave of arousal hit your body as Oikawa slid off your skimpy underwear from your waist down to your ankle. The guy had you on the couch with your legs spread open and his warm breath tickling your core when he placed his mouth near your cunt. With hands suppressing your stomach and knees glued to the floor, his face was on the perfect level adjacent to your genital ready to ravage the soaking pussy that he hadn’t tasted for a few days.

You could tell that he missed it with the way his lips curled into a triumphant smirk, eyeing your sex with a wanton stare. He ran his index finger from your clit down to your core, later stretching your folds to open up the hole that he’d been dying to be inside of. “I miss fucking this pussy,” he gritted, pressing his tongue flat between your slit and allowing it to enter your warm cavern. A silent moan escaped your lips after Oikawa passionately kissed your cunt with his eyes looking at nothing else but you. He used his arm to restrict your leg from moving while you were reaching to unclasp your bra—eventually, releasing your tits from the tight covering before throwing the piece of undergarment to the side.

“Mmh—fuck, that’s so good,” you softly whispered, hoisting your hips up a little bit with your hand reaching for Oikawa’s brown locks. The prick was loving your reaction as he smiled while his long tongue was working its way inside. Your eyes almost rolled back when he spread your labia apart so he could lick your inner folds and taste every corner of your cum-coated vagina that he always referred to as ‘sweet’ as sugar. “T-Tooru!”

8 days, you recalled. It had been 8 days since you last had sex with Oikawa because he had to attend a 7-day business trip, leaving you and Iwaizumi behind to have fun on your own. This was also why you couldn’t blame him for being so impatient at having his way with you since he had been dry for almost a week of simply receiving the nude photos you had sent him. The most he had was when you two Facetimed while Iwaizumi was balls deep inside of you and Oikawa simply had to jerk off in his hotel room, watching his best friend fucking your brains out.

Little did he know, Iwaizumi rawdogged you every single night while he was gone.

He couldn’t be jealous, though. The three of you were on a strict agreement of having to share each other without your personal interests going overboard. The most exciting part about being in a polyamorous relationship, specifically with these two hot guys, was the difference they both have in terms of sexual intimacy. They were both blessed with well-endowed members that constantly filled you in, but apart from their big pretty cocks, they were also equally skillfull in bed. What differed them from each other was the fact that Oikawa was passionate while Iwaizumi was rough. One was sugar, the other was spice.

You liked both, frankly. It would be hard to choose simply because you didn’t want to pick just one over the other. Iwaizumi could last long in a single round, while on the other hand, Oikawa may be fast to reach his orgasm but he could do it for 5 rounds in a single night.

Hitting two birds in one stone? Fuck yes.

“A-Aah, shit. Baby,” you whined as your hand released the tight grip that you had on the cushion before moving it to your clit. You let your fingers perform circular strokes against your bud while you squeezed your breast on the other.

Oikawa, being as stimulated as you, sucked the juices from your core until his mouth was covered with your slick. “My pretty baby misses me, huh?” he jeered, tongue rapidly moving between your folds. He pushed your hand away so he could nip at your clit before french kissing your pussy like he was desperate to eat you out.

Drool oozed down on your cunt down to your butthole and you could feel his thumb coating your anus with his own saliva acting as lube. God, he was so beautiful. His eyes fluttered as he pulled his face away from the cunt he just ravaged before he palmed your wet vulva with slow strokes. “Mmh… Finger me, daddy,” you begged, pressing your lips together to suppress your moans. “I want your long fingers inside of me.”

“And they will be inside of you,” he retorted, sending a wink just as he removed his palm from your genital. “How many fingers, baby? One? Two?”

“Three,” you boldly answered which became the reason of Oikawa’s grin, who was visibly impressed. He mouthed ‘okay’, trailing kisses on your inner thigh before he positioned his middle finger at your entrance. After he sunk the first digit, he didn’t wait too long to sink the other two to completely stretch you out. Thankfully, his amazing pussy-eating skills already prepared you enough for this. “Yes, yes. Aaah, just like that!”

The muscles in Oikawa’s arm were flexing as he moved his fingers in and out at a rapid pace—scissoring the tips until he was able to reach your most pleasurable spot. “Good?” he inquired, staring at your half-lidded eyes. Your mouth was parted as you nodded. “I’ll fuck you raw later, baby. Okay?”

“Please,” you mewled, squeezing your tits together while his three slender fingers were relentlessly destroying your tight hole. Oikawa displayed a satisfied smile, leaning his body over to meet your lips with a soft open-mouthed kiss before kissing the valley between your breasts and later having your clit disappear in his mouth.

When his head sunk low between your legs, you watched the door to your bedroom swing open to see Iwaizumi walking in. “I knew you fuckers started without me!” he complained, walking inside while he stared at your very naked self being eaten out by his best friend. “Sluts.”

Oikawa erupted into a chortle as he glanced at his best friend teasingly. “You came in late, Iwa-chan! I already feasted on her cunt.”

“I feast on it every night,” was Iwaizumi’s short but winning reply, pulling his shirt over his head to reveal his toned body. You managed to see the outline of his thick cock growing from his grey sweatpants as he walked closer to your side and gave you a quick peck on the lips. “Happy Valentine’s, baby.”

“Ha-Haaa—” Jesus, you couldn’t even respond because Oikawa made it his goal to thrust his fingers at an insane speed and make you unable to form coherent words.

Iwaizumi grinned, nonetheless, at the sight before falling on the couch next to you. Leaning on the backrest, he palmed his clothed member while watching his best friend fingering you.

“I get to fuck her first,” Oikawa bargained, taking his digits out before Iwaizumi grabbed his hand and sucked your juices from his fingers. Tooru was quick to snatch his hand back in protest. “Damn you, I was gonna do that!”

“She tastes good,” Hajime naughtily commented, tilting his head to wink at you. “Oikawa, fuck her like the whore she is. She likes it.”

You rolled your eyes as you recalled how he dogged you at full speed last night. You adjusted yourself from the couch while Iwaizumi lifted your chin to give you another lingering kiss. “Mmh—Haji, you smell like fucking cigarettes.”

As he pulled away, you realized that Oikawa was already standing in front of you to reveal his hard cock that was ready to penetrate you all night. His pink throbbing tip was leaking of precum while he pumped himself off above you. “Want this cock, baby?” he asked, sitting next to you and pulling you over his lap. You felt his tip teasing your parting with a lopsided grin on his face, and by surprise, he slammed all of his length inside.

“Y-Yeah!” you screamed from the sudden stretch as you completely sat on his lap with his cock penetrating your tight walls. So good, you were losing your mind, it’s so fucking good. You breasts jiggled at his every thrust and he made your wrap you arms around his neck so he could envelope your mouth with his kisses. Your eyes were stuck on Iwaizumi as you made out with Oikawa, with the latter gripping your ass while he jerked his hips to meet yours.

Iwaizumi’s eyes flickered in lust before he slipped his pants off and allowed his own thick cock to spring free. His hand immediately wrapped itself around his shaft, soon pumping his member at the sight of you and Oikawa fucking like rabbits.

Your tongue was rolling against Tooru’s, exploring each other’s mouth, and leaving you breathless from every pound. “I fucking missed you,” you breathed heavily, pulling away from the kiss to spread your legs further. Oikawa held you by the waist and allowed you to lean back with the assurance that he had you secured around his hold. Your tits continued to bounce when he finally found the perfect angle to go even deeper than he already was.

“I missed you too, baby.” With a quick suck on your left breast, his own moans left his lips along with the loud squelching noises that filled the room, “Tightest fucking cunt I’ve ever been in.”

Iwaizumi sneered from the side, pausing from his little display of masturbation as he stood up. You only realized that he was now behind you when his hands sneaked from under your pits to massage your breasts softly. “You like being railed by two guys, don’t you?” he taunted. “You slut.”

You hummed, closing your eyes at the satisfaction that Oikawa’s cock was giving you as well as Iwaizumi’s hands that were kneading your bosom. The latter’s tip was poking your back and you threw your head back to look up at him. “Babe, let me suck you.”

Grinning cockily, Iwaizumi walked to your left and propped one leg over the couch to angle his swollen cock in your mouth. He ejected spit towards his shaft, some of it splashing on your cheekbone before he jerked himself off. “Ready?” he asked, holding onto his girth and slapping it against your tongue. “Good girl. Yes, you are.”

Oikawa giggled, now taking a pause from his own thrusts to let you twerk on your own. You were simultaneously sucking Iwaizumi’s dick while dancing against Oikawa’s rock hard erection like a complete people pleaser.

Well, when it came to these two men, you would definitely do anything to please them.

“What took you so long?” You heard Oikawa ask Iwaizumi in the midst of your current position.

“Bought her flowers. The line was so long.”

“Ha! That’s why I got her chocolates.”

You swirled your tongue on Iwaizumi’s tip while using your hand to jerk off the upper half. When he arranged your hair into a ponytail, Oikawa took the chance to lick the skin on your neck—biting and sucking your skin to leave his purplish mark.

“I’m gonna cum,” the brunette announced, patting your ass to signal his desire to pull out from your cunt. Iwaizumi’s dick left your mouth as Oikawa moved you to the side before standing side-by-side to his best friend.

You bit your lip and suppressed a chuckle as they grinned at each other while holding their cocks like it was a competition. Idiots. “Tooru, I want your cum in my mouth.”

“As you wish, baby,” he hummed, pumping his length directly above your face, briefly turning to Iwaizumi with a playful smirk, “Cumshot?”

Iwaizumi nodded once with the corner of his lips upturned into a wolfish simper, “Put those hands to work and give us a handjob, babe.”

You did as told and pumped each of them with both your hands. The multitasking was hard labor but the look on their faces intensified your arousal, so you made your best performance to satisfy the two. With two huge cocks right by your face, you decided to tease Iwaizumi’s cock first with a lick on his tip while still jerking off their cocks like a pro. You sucked the corner of Iwaizumi’s length before bobbing your head when you fully took him in. Oikawa, on the other hand, guided you to pump his cock at the pace he wanted.

“It’s like we’re dating a fucking pornstar,” Oikawa commented, causing Iwaizumi to chuckle deeply.

You stared up at Hajime with a restrained smile before releasing his cock with a pop to switch to sucking Tooru’s. You adjusted your mouth so his tip could reach the back of your throat until you gagged, making him lose his mind over it.

“Maybe we should film it next time,” Iwaizumi suggested, reaching to touch your tit and play with your nipple with his index finger, “Suck us both, babe.”

First of all, it was always Iwaizumi who did the orders like the absolute dominant he was because you were his precious submissive who followed everything he asked you to do. So, this time, and for the first time, you tried to alternate between sucking each of their heads before you took both dicks in your mouth.

They couldn’t even fit.

The corners of your lips were being stretched with your attempt at giving a nice blowjob to your two boyfriends at the same time. Praises left their mouths even as drool started running down to your neck.

“That’s my baby,” Oikawa praised, tucking some hair behind your ear before Iwaizumi slipped his member out of you to have you aid his best friend’s nearing orgasm, “I’m gonna cum, for real.”

You stuck your tongue out when Oikawa increased the speed of his hand before finally ejaculating his warm seed on your face, “Uhh, fuck!” he released a guttural moan as he sent his cum all over your face—some on your mouth, some on your cheek, some were dripping down to your chest.

“Shit.” Iwaizumi watched the whole thing intently and very vividly, pulling you out of the couch as you wiped Oikawa’s jizz on your face. “You look pretty with cum drizzles.”

You playfully shoved him by the chest, feeling your knees wobble a little before you pulled Oikawa for a quick kiss, “You taste good, baby,” you said, before pushing him towards the bedside table. “Go get some damn tissues.”

The man left with a grin while Iwaizumi was manhandling you to get into his favorite position. “Ass up, whore,” he derided, twisting your hip and forcing you to get on your knees on the couch. “Hands on the backrest.”

Oikawa soon came back to wipe off the excess cum that were on your face before Iwaizumi rammed his cock inside of your stretched hole without warning. You were left whimpering from his roughness as every slam caused slapping noises from your ass to his groin. Goddamn, the friction he was creating against your cunt was achingly good.

“Aah—aah, yeah!” you cried out, gripping the cushion tight as you leaned forward while you were being pussy pounded from behind. Iwaizumi’s grip on your waist were tight and he paid very little mercy at how his huge, veiny cock was entering you at an insane pace until tears started welling up your eyes. “H-Hajime!”

Oikawa’s mocking laugh could be heard to your right. “Aww, my pretty baby’s crying.” His reflection from the glass panel let you see how he whispered something on Iwaizumi’s ear before the said guy pulled you by the hair.

Your scalp felt like it was going to be ripped out of your head. “Hajime!” you screamed, feeling his member forcefully plowing into your abused cunt. “D-Daddy—”

“Be a good girl for daddy.” His hot breath tickled your ear after he pulled you back until your body was arched into a C, later releasing his grip on your hair to place his hand on your bum.

You pressed your upper body against the backrest of the couch, albeit your insistence of preventing wanton cries from the feeling of his cock going deeper each second. The movements of his hips were fast and rough that you almost felt your eyes rolling at the back of your head. “S-So good!”

“You think you can take us both, babe?” he asked, feeling his spit lubricating your asshole while he continued rearranging your guts. You’ve never tried being penetrated at the same time but the thought somehow ignited a newfound excitement within you.

So you nodded, very much like an obedient girl. “Oikawa prepped me while we waited for you.”

Iwaizumi pressed his thumb inside your anus while his cock was slowing down from your cunt. “Did he?” He sunk his whole fucking thumb in and it left you moaning out loud. “I get to fuck your ass, then.”

“C’mere, baby,” Tooru called as he appeared to your side with Hajime pulling out of your pussy before he sat on the couch. “Iwa-chan, let her do reverse cowgirl.”

Fuck, it’s happening!

You hid your excitement when Iwaizumi leaned in to kiss you softly before he urged you to turn your back on him and sit in the middle of his pelvis. He opened up your parting, running his slick-coated fingers to wet your butthole—not long after, his tip was entering your anus slowly and painfully. “Aaah—fuck. F-Fuck, daddy!”

“All good?” he asked, watching his cock disappear from your ass while Oikawa was holding your hands for support. Your anal walls clamped around his juicy cock as another moan was emitted from you. “You’re so tight.”

“Hajime, that’s... You’re so fucking big!” you whined, hearing his chuckle before he pulled your back to rest it against his chest. Now, with his dick moving in and out of your asshole, Oikawa opened your legs and found his territory on your vulva.

“Look at my eyes,” he commanded, running his fingers through his hair before playfully slapping his dick against your clit. You chuckled before it turned into a moan as Iwaizumi went deeper in your other hole. “Doing good, Iwa-chan.”

You laced your fingers with Hajime’s on your left hand while you intertwined your right with Tooru’s. It didn’t take long until the latter penetrated your tight cunt and amazingly hit the right spot as soon as all of his length was inside. Loud squelching noises along with lecherous moans reverberated through the room when the dual penetrative action sent you into a state of euphoria.

You were thrown into ecstasy despite the unfamiliarity of this new experience.

Having two huge dicks destroying you like there was no tomorrow felt like it was only some kind of a dream, but now, had turned into reality.

“Aah, th-that’s so fucking good!” You took deep breaths, humming in pleasure and closing your eyes to simply bask in the feeling. “Don’t stop.”

“Holy fucking shit,” Oikawa cussed, nails digging into the skin of your waist leaving crescent marks as he fucked your cunt at the same rhythm his best friend was shoving his dick inside your asshole. At this point, screams were coming out of your mouth while the two guys romanced your body for their own pleasure.

You could hear Iwaizumi panting beneath you when he continuously wrecked your other hole. His hand later traveled to your chest to give your bust a harsh squeeze and it gave Oikawa an idea to suck your other tit and swirl his tongue around your nub.

One of the 7 deadly sins filled this room tonight and it was none other than lust.

With screams getting louder, gasps causing your mouths to part open, and all three people connected into a single body—you disintegrated between the two men as your lower abdomen signaled your orgasm and your toes started curling. “Ngh—I’m cumming! Aah!”

Your legs started to shake while you clenched around Oikawa’s member and squeezed Iwaizumi’s cock in one go. “Damn, we made her cum,” the latter teased, not allowing you to rest as he rammed himself up your ass.

Oikawa delighted at the sight while he, too, pounded you through your overstimulation. His brows started to furrow which only meant how serious he had become at trying to chase his climax.

However, surprisingly, it was Iwaizumi who came first.

The tan guy shot all of his warm load inside your rectum and filling it all in with his cream. He pulled his dick out, still having you resting above his chest, and you instantly felt his liquid oozing from your anus.

“My turn,” Oikawa growled, latching on to your sides when he caught up to his pace and cursed under his breath as his orgasm was near. Iwaizumi tried to hold you in place as you were being fucked like a ragdoll and in after a few more minutes of thrusting and cockslamming, Tooru’s hot spurts of seed were sent straight to your womb as his movements became sloppy and uneven, pulling out of you only to see his semen seeping out of the pussy he just destroyed. “That was fucking good.”

You never really thought that today would be the day you would expand your sexual experiences that worked for relationships like the ones you have with both Oikawa and Iwaizumi. It may be difficult to expect from you but you were determined to experiment more and see what else could spice up your sugary sweet life with two.

For now, you were exhausted. Iwaizumi had you transferred to the bed as your whole body was limp. He was the one who wiped the cum off your body before Oikawa tucked you under the duvet and kissed your forehead.

“Sleepy?” Tooru asked, smiling, “I’ll spoil you lots when you wake up.”

“I’m so tired,” you singsonged with heavy eyelids, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Rest up, babe,” Hajime spoke, brushing your hair to the side as he climbed in bed next to you. “Happy Valentine’s.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[slasherrabbitmadness]

Bo Sinclair x Female Reader

Sinclair College AU Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

Woo, NONCON ELEMENTS! This was written by demand. Seriously, bug me to write the AUs if you want to read them lol

Underthecut - NSFW, NONCON do not read if you do not like noncon, Dark fic, Vaginal sex, brief mention of anal, Bruises, creampie and Brief mentions of pregnancy

You shivered as Bo brought the blankets over you, cooing at how tired you must be, how you'll need all the rest you can get.

The dull ache throbbed throughout your body. Your toes hurt from curling them repeatedly, your hips hurt, from Bo's near incessant pounding and nails digging into your hips. Your breasts were sore, nipples teased and played with so long, his stubble scratched along your valley. Your neck was bruised, a feint handprint along the front mixed in with hickeys. Your lips sore and dry, lip gloss smeared around your mouth.

Dried tears over your cheeks, into your hair, onto the pillow.

"Hey, c'mon Sweets." Bo leaned in to kiss your cheek, making you squeeze your stomach in response, "Hey, you're good." He sat next to you, lightly patting your cheek, "Y'did so good for me, hm? So perfect." He leaned in, lips inches from your cheek, "Just like you've always been."

Bo looked down at you, bit his lower lip as your eyes remained vacant, body reacting out of an impulse to his touch, but emotionally wrought.

"You can rest for a lil while but then we gotta clean ya up, Sweets."

You cringed at the nickname, what was once a cute endearing term made your stomach turn.

"Rest for a bit, then we shower." Bo leaned in to kiss your temple, kissed your cheek ad a chaste kiss over your sore lips.

You curled into yourself, letting the motel blanket, stale smell, and lull you into a weak state of slumber.

Bo walked over to the chair, grabbing his crotch as he sat down, letting his chub rest against his thigh. He tapped his foot on the cheap carpeted floor. He leaned back to rummage through his stuff on the table, grabbing a joint and lighting it up.

He took a hit, leaned back. He listened, listened as the cars outside drove by, tires hissing along the wet pavement. A random dog barking, its deep thundering barks upsetting another tenant enough he heard a woman shouting for the thing to shut up.

The rain hit along the window, repeated taps along it felt commoning to Bo. The dull noise helped with his racing thoughts.

Bo wanted to curl into you, wrap his arms around you, kiss along your shoulder, laugh as you playfully reprimand him "Bo, stop! Your stubble is tickling me!" He smiled, "Bo, least you could do is just kiss me."

He coughed, smoke sputtered out through his lips. A deep hum rumbled from his chest, the image of you and him on the bed, curled into each other came so easily. Just like that one Valentine's day...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bo held you in his arms, hand running up and down your back. He kissed your lips, groaning as you let him slip your tongue in.

He cupped your cheek, tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Your moans spurred him on, his thigh pushed in between your legs, spreading you out for him.

"Bo...again?" You asked in a whisper.

"You know you got another round in ya." He kissed you again as he angled his cock at your entrance, grunted as his cock head was met with your warmth. "Ah, sure feels like you're ready." He pushed in, his hands grabbing your wrists to pin them above your head.

Deep intimate strokes have you cantering into him, "Bo..."

"Daddy, c'mon you know how we do this."

"Daddy, please, I want more."

Bo pulled out all the way and bucked forward, a quiet laugh as you squirmed under him.

He picked up speed, huffing and moaning above you. Placed sloppy kisses along your neck, sucking and biting, groaning at the fresh bruises forming along the skin.

"Daddy, ah, more." You freed your wrists from his grasp and ran your hands down his back, resting your hands on his ass. You pushed him further into you, "Daddy please, deeper in me."

His cock twitched in response, "You like when Daddy fucks you? You just need me fuckin' you always."

He kissed you as you moaned in response, hands traveled to the back of his hair, fingers threading through his brown hair.

Bo's hips grew sloppy, your pussy clenched around him as he pushed in deeper and deeper. He wanted to scream out his release, get another call from the front desk. Telling him that there have been noise complaints coming from his room.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him in, his movements became shallow, you felt his cock throb within you.

Bo moaned into the kiss, his hips stuttering as he emptied himself into you. He grinned as you sobbed under him, mewling out praises, whimpering how full he was making you feel.

"Daddy, you keep coming in me, and it might just take." He wheezed, running a hand over his forehead to brush away the sweat.

"Would that be such a bad thing?" His smile fell as you gave him a mortified look.

Reality hit him, "Bo, I can't get pregnant. I'm only in my second year of University! I need my degree first. How in the hell can I have a baby? I can't afford it, I can barely afford my classes."

He groaned at your rambling, he knew you were right, knew that realistically you could never afford a baby, that a degree gave you and your children together with a better shot.

He hummed in agreement, pulled you back into him, "Shh, we'll figure it out later." He kissed your forehead, growled as you nipped at his neck.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bo sat up and walked over to you on the bed, "C'mon, we need to shower now."

You remained still, eyes closed, face turning into the pillow.

Bo pulled off the blankets, a hard breath through his nose as he took you in. He lifted you into his arms, pressed kisses to the top of your head, mumbling at how sweaty you smelled and tasted.

He walked into the shitty motel bathroom, a far cry from the last time you ever shared on together on Valentine's day.

The yellow light and avocado green sink, toilet, and tub held a nasty hue.

Bo looked at himself in the mirror as he held you, his eyes held a light pink hue (the weed), bags under his eyes, his hair sticking to his forehead. He grinned taking in the bruises along his shoulders and chest. A mixture of teeth marks and fists.

He set you down, an arm around your waist to steady you.

"Okay, Sweets, gonna get you clean. How many days has it been?"

You swayed in your spot, eyes downcast.

"About five days, best to get you clean." He leaned in to place a sloppy kiss on your cheek.

He turned on the water, the steam rising up to the ceiling. "Let's step in."

The water felt euphoric on your skin, washing away the last five days of bodily fluids. Bo's dried saliva, the dried semen on your front, the bits you couldn't fully wipe off your face. The hot water kissed your bruises, a pleasant ache from the hot touch.

You stared at the yellow shower tile, steadying a breath as Bo rubbed his hands over your body. You let your mind race, let it fall into a day more pleasant thoughts.

You thought of Vincent, his arms around you, holding you close, outside the library. Tears spilled as you cursed yourself, wishing you blew off Dan to accompany Vincent. Wanted to sleep in Vincent's arms like you had been almost every night since you started dating.

"Sweets?" Bo patted your cheek, "You good?"

You snapped your attention to Bo, his thumb whipping away your tears, "Might be in the shower but your red eyes are giving you away." He kissed you, tongue running along your lips.

Bo retched back, hand raised up to his cheek, he looked at his fingers, the blood trailing down.

You held a feral look, your eyes hed a feral glare, your nails with blood being cleaned by the running hot water.

"I. Want. Vincent!" You punctuated each word. Teeth bared to the tall man in front of you. You looked through him, not taking in his baby blues, his confused expression.

Bo gave you a booming laugh, you jumped as he grabbed your wrist, "Five days of this and you still want him. I thought I could get you cock drunk on me."

Be spun you around as he pushed you against the tile. Your front pressed into the slimy uncleaned surface had you gagging.

You steadied a breath again, letting your mind race to Vincent. Not Bo poking his cock along your entrance.

"Y'know, you should be pregnant by now, I think the other whole is a little lonely." You fought back a scream.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vincent ran through the campus, running up to the Flamingo dorms. He had no time to think about how silly it was that the campus dorms have animal mascots.

Brahms burst through the dorm's door. Pulling on his jacket as he scratched his stubble.

Vincent ran up to him, knowing his girlfriend was a friend of his own, "Hey, Brahms, you seen Y/n? Has your girl seen her?"

"No, Princess hasn't seen her."

Vincent would normally smirk at Brahm's nickname for his girl. It was fitting, Brahms did treat her like a Princess. The gifts, the lavish vacation he took her on, she was even invited to a family wedding.

"She did mention that she has yet to get ahold of her though, apparently Dan is upset that they missed their study dates."

Vincent slapped his leg in frustration.

"I haven't seen her in five days. I've talked with my brother but I haven't seen him either." Vincent breathed in heavily, he staggered back.

Brahms reached for him, steadying his friend, "Bo probably took her."

Vincent's eye went wide.

"I mean, think about it, is it that hard to get to that conclusion. You fuck her, start dating her, flaunt how good you've both been to each other. Bo's always been, Bo. Masking his insecurity with macho bravado, hitting on pretty girls, and when they take the low-hanging fruit it fuels his ego. For a day, at least. And the one girl who managed to escape his low-level bullshit falls into his brother's arms, of course, he's pissed."

Vincent clenched his fist, "You justifying my brother?"

"No," Brahms stood up straight, arms over his chest, "Remember when I punched him for bugging my Princess? He tried to jump me a week later. For me," Brahms gave Vincent a cocky smile, "Was nothing. I can only imagine if he had anger towards a female."

Vincent's blood went cold at Brahms words. "Y'sure?"

"Hm, I am an actor! I observe people constantly, I am not known as the best method actor this school has ever had for nothing!" Brahms puffed up his chest, his cocky smile faded as he watched Vincent's shakes become near tremors.

"Look, Vincent, Have you been to the police, her parents, sibling? or whatever?" Brahms leaned closer to Vincent, a sympathetic hand remained on his shoulder.

"Yeah...her parents said...she sounded a little shaken up but fine. They said it was stress. The police are useless."

Brahms laughed, "When are they useful?" He frowned when Vincent shot him a glare.

"Okay, no joking, though not a joke, Look, I'll get Princess later and us three can go around asking for her, okay. I'll even ask my drama teacher to put pressure on the campus police."

Vincent nodded a weak defeated nod.

His hope had been diminishing day by day. He missed class and called into work. The past five days were spent on you, finding you, wanting you back in his arms. The sick feeling in his gut knew you were being held by him...the other half of him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sat on the bed, your clothes back over your, the warmth they offered little comfort.

"Okay, Sweets, we're gonna get going, alright?" He nudged your shoulder.

"I need to get back to class, Bo. I need to finish my degree." You said lifelessly as if on autopilot.

"You will don't worry." He kissed the crown of your head, inhaling your scent. "Sweets you smell so damn good. So clean for her Daddy."

Your throat felt tight, the urge to barf suppressed as you pinched yourself.

"Why did you cheat on me?"

Bo looked down at you, head cocked, "Cheat on you?"

"Yes."

"I never cheated on you."

"Don't fucking lie to me, Bo!"

He stepped back, hand running over his bandaged cheek. He composed himself, leaning over you, "You better watch your tone." He growled.

The past five days had gotten to you, a resentment, and anger bubbled to the surface, "You date me, Cheat on me, on valentine's day. And you expect me to never be angry, never be upset. And you get mad when I cheat on you. fuck you, Bo. I meant nothing to you. You're nothing to me."

You screamed as Bo shoved you down onto the bed, his large hands pressed hard into your arms, he huffed above you, "Nothing to me? Did I not just spend the last five days lovin' you? Being intimate with you? Shared the most wonderful experience two people together could experience together?"

He shook you as you failed to answer, "Hm? That Valentine's day meant everything to you. This meant everything to you." Bo kissed your tears, gritted his teeth and he shook your head under him.

Bo cheated, he knew this. Knew why he cheated. Self-sabotage as always.

How could someone so sweet, caring, friendly, and loving as you fall for him, why would you? Bo was awful, downright awful, his own parents even said so.

"You'll see, Sweets, you'll see our love grow within you."

You sobbed under him, you murmured Vincent's name, repeating it over and over, as if you said it enough he'd burst through the door, saving you from Bo's hell.

[gaysimpsstuff]

Flightless Birds Chapter Three; Where Birds Belong

Chapter One Here

Chapter Two Here

Chapter Four Here

Chapter Five Here

Summary: After visiting Kouten in the hospital, Y/n gets more and more ‘gifts’ from their stalker. But what are they supposed to do when it gets to be too much? Make a huge mistake, that’s what.

Word Count: 2.4K Words

Warnings: cursing, intrusive thoughts, mentions of masturbation, unwanted sexual letters, threats, police officers, implied drugging

Other: the first half of this chapter was meant to be in the previous chapter, but since Tumblr is a bitch I couldn’t do that and it was pushed here. 

Taglist: @smolchildfangirl @combat-wombatus @cathy8taffy @1small-frogs @catcherisvibin @waffleareniceandfluffy @mandalorian-baby-bird @theblueslytherin @hawksadmirer @assassinslittlesister @deepcollectorphantom (lemme know if you wanna be added to or removed from the taglist)

Numb. 

Was that the right word to describe how you were feeling?

Your heart was hammering away in your chest, and your whole body felt light as a feather.

Your head was foggy, and you felt like the world beneath you was shifting, tumbling around like the tectonic plates of your life were slamming and crashing into each other.

When you arrived at home, there was another ‘gift’ waiting for you. You picked it up and brought it inside. You knew you should probably just ignore all the packages and throw them away, but you just couldn’t.

Why? Why must your curiosity be satiated like this?

Today, it was a teddy bear. A red string was wrapped around its neck. You sighed, setting it on the nightstand with the other ‘gifts.’ 

More and more gifts started to arrive over the next week and a half. Clothes you’d expressed interest in, small shiny things, key-chains, and a couple more dead animals. You were sick and tired of it, and you were stressed out of your mind.

You hadn’t slept in days, you were hardly eating, your weird stalker had started leaving notes talking about you. They knew things about you that they shouldn’t know, it was getting to be too much. You felt heavy and cotton-headed. 

Calls from unknown numbers appeared every day now, and most of them included you just saying ‘hello?’ Into the phone until the caller hung up.

You were so tired, and so freaked out. 

Paranoia flooded your mind about your stalker breaking into your house and hurting you. 

But you felt so selfish. All your stalker was doing was creeping you out. You hadn’t actually been hurt yet, however Kouten was in the fucking hospital! He had almost been killed and you were worried about a few creepy notes.

How much of a horrible person were you?

You had one comfort; him. 

Izanagi.

You’d been spending less and less time at your flat, and more time with Izanagi. You spent every other night at his house, and you’d gotten so used to sleeping in the same bed as him that you felt you couldn’t sleep without his gentle touches and soft breaths.

Everything about him calmed you, his gentle green eyes, the constellation of freckles on his cheeks, that one tooth in his mouth that was twisted to the left, the days when he forgot to do laundry and you had to fold his clothes, you loved it all.

Your feet hit the pavement too hard as you approached your home. The stray tabby cat of your neighborhood dashing away from your front door as you approached.

You looked down, exhausted.

There was a rectangle of white on your welcome mat, your name printed in the fancy kanji of your stalker’s handwriting.

You slowly lifted it off of the ground, entering your home. Everything was quiet…

Too quiet.

You sat down on the edge of the bed, flinching at the sound of the mattress creaking under your weight. Slowly, you peeled open the envelope, unfolding the letter. Your eyes scanned down the words, nervous.

Dear Y/n.

You’ve been getting all my presents, right? Gosh I do hope you enjoy them. I can’t believe I’m finally writing you a letter! It’s so exhilarating, you know? 

I’ve never felt like this before, ever. Nothing even came close. God Y/n, I’m so in love with you! Do you know? I’ve been courting you this whole time! We’re birds of a feather, both lazy as fuck but so vulnerable.

I wish I didn’t have to hurt Yuu like I did, but that little bitch had to die. Unfortunately he survived, how tragic.

You stopped reading looking up for a moment. You were right! Your stalker had been connected to Kouten’s attack! That… didn’t feel very nice. You thought you’d feel better about it, but now you just felt sick.

It was your fault Kouten was hurt.

I could understand he was close to you, I hated that. I would have gone for Fujikawa, but he’s surprisingly cautious. You’d think he’d be more reckless, being as fucking stupid as he is, but nooo. 

I’ll have mercy on him, I’m sure it’d just make you upset to see him dead anyways. But I swear, go near him again and I’ll kill him. 

I don’t wanna talk about that in my first real letter with you, so instead I’ll just talk about you.

How breathtaking you are.

How fucking gorgeous you are.

Y’know, you really are fucking amazing, you think I didn’t see? You really took the time to appreciate yourself yesterday, I think that was your way of saying you loved me back! Touching yourself… oh fuck you looked so hot.  Think I didn’t hear? I really wish I was there, fucking you the way you need. I’d give you everything you’ll ever need. You won’t need anything but me. 

Baby you’ve just given me my next month’s worth of masturbation material.

Remember, I love you!

    -Your future husband

No. Fuck fuck no. Gross get out drop it throw up rip it to shreds hurt smash something scream no no no no no get out get it out get it out find him report him police heroes what the fuck Izanagi-

Izanagi.

Izanagi.

Hey siri, call Izanagi.

“Yo, Y/n! What’s up? Miss me already~” Izanagi. His voice relaxed you and you found your brain forming coherent thoughts again. You opened your mouth to confess what was happening, but nothing came out. “Y/n? Are you okay?”

Then you cried. 

It felt so good to finally cry, you hadn’t cried in what felt like years, sobbing and looping his name, your only comfort in this chaos.

“Woah, woah, hey what’s going on? Hang on I’m coming over, don’t you fucking dare hang up!”

You sniffed, nodding, continuing to just mutter his name. In Just under five minutes, he was letting himself in with the spare key. You felt the bed shift, and you felt his warmth next to you. You fell against his side, crying harder. He held onto you, rubbing at your sides.

“Hey, hey. Come on, what happened? Tell me!” you could hear the fear in his voice. You still didn’t feel like you could speak so you just shakily handed him the letter you received, hoping he’d understand your reaction once he saw what you’d gotten.

His eyes scanned the paper before widening, and he covered his mouth with his hand. He dropped the paper, standing up and grabbing a suitcase from your closet and starting to fill it with clothes. He moved with haste, and you noticed he was grabbing your favorite clothes.

The sweatshirt he’d gifted you for Valentine’s Day, the Edgeshot t-shirt you wore every other day, the sweatpants you always slept in, 

“W-what are you doing?” you whimpered.

“You really think I’d let you stay here when some fucker obviously is watching you? I’m gonna report this to the police. No one is going to hurt you, okay? No one hurts my friends!” he turned back to you, a hard look in his eyes. You had a feeling that if he ever ran into your stalker, it would take multiple top heroes to hold him back from killing the guy.

You were grateful.

Izanagi helped you pack, and you told him all the other details. How it started with the Hawks beanie, how you’d gotten bottle caps and sweatshirts, and even dead animals. How you felt too scared to tell anyone, afraid of getting blown off.

He comforted you, he promised you he’d protect you. You felt safe with him. He would protect you. You thanked him religiously as he helped you bring your things over to his place. He kept telling you that of course he’d be doing this, it was the right thing to do.

This man… this man was your rock. He was your everything. You knew there’d be no way to fully repay him for his kindness towards you, but you promised yourself you’d try. 

You sat on his bed again, realizing that for the time being, this was your bed too. He was beside you, holding you tight and comforting you. You relaxed into his touch, before a realization struck you.

“Izanagi- he threatened to kill you. He hurt Kouten too, he- he can probably kill you if he really wants to.” Izanagi shook his head, pressing a finger to your lips.

“Nothing, I swear nothing is going to happen to me. Okay? Now, we’re going to the police station. You will not leave my sight, you will not let go of my hand. You’re not gonna wander off without telling me, etc etc. Clear?”

“Crystal.” you smiled softly, nodding. “Thank you so much Iza.”

“Like I said, of fucking course I’d do this. Come on, let’s get in the car.” he took your hand, putting your stalker’s letter in his pocket and taking you with him back out to his car. You got in the back, and he drove quickly. He glanced back at you repeatedly, double and triple-checking you were there and safe. 

  Finally, he pulled up at the police station and got out, quickly running around to the back doors as you got out. His hand was instantly on yours, pulling your body close against his and walking in the station with you. He briskly walked up to the police lady behind the counter.

“Oh, hello! Is there something I can do for the two of you?” she asked, it was so sweet and cheerful, so vastly different from the emotions swirling around in your mind.

“Yes, here.” Izanagi pulled the letter from his pocket and handed it to the lady. “My friend has a stalker, and he’s attacked another one of our friends.” the woman looked over the letter, nodding.

“Alright, I’m going to have some officers talk to your friend in private and-”

“Not happening.” Izanagi growled. “I get it, but I’m not leaving my friend.”

“I- I want him in the room.” you added. “Please.” the woman sighed, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry, but unless you are a minor, I can’t have anyone else in the room with you. Even then it would be limited to certain people. It’s a safety precaution.”

“Fuck!” You grabbed Izanagi’s arm, rubbing his bicep to calm him down. He turned to you, offering you a strained smile. “You’ll be okay, right?” he asked, worried. You nodded, a feeble attempt to comfort him.

He gave the officers that came in a hard look, like he expected them to hurt you. You broke away from Izanagi’s comfort and followed them into a questioning room.

There were so many questions.

Every little detail about your life, even things that didn’t seem all that important. You told them everything you told Izanagi, plus a little more. They weren’t very comforting, and when you got scared, they got angry. It wasn’t at all like Izanagi, who softened when you were upset. Any detail that you didn’t have, they seemed to be upset with you about it. As if you were supposed to do your own little investigation illegally. It was… very annoying.

“Alright, we’re going to call a hero in here.” one of the officers told you. “Hawks has been doing a lot more patrols in your area than usual, he might have already seen your stalker and can probably take care of it for you. Is that okay?”

Hawks. You’d just met him one. He was a hero. He was trusted, beloved even. 

Call him in. He’s Hawks. He’s the number two. He wasn’t creepy, just do it!

“That’s fine, I’ll talk to Hawks.”

Maybe you should have thought about it more.

Maybe you should have trusted that feeling in your gut telling you ‘no.’

Maybe you shouldn’t have told Izanagi. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have involved the police.

Maybe you shouldn’t have spoken with Hawks so casually when you met him.

Maybe you shouldn’t have been a bird.

Maybe then.

You’d be free as you once were.

It took five minutes. Then the door swung open and he walked in. It had been a week or so since you saw him, but when he layed his golden eyes on you, you got the feeling that you’d seen him only yesterday, in a flash of red in the dead of night.

“Hello, Y/n L/n.” He spoke calmly, but you noticed a slight tremor of excitement. Why was he so happy to see you? 

You felt chills run down your spine at the way he sat next to you, taking your hand and rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. His whole body seemed to vibrate in happiness, his wings fluttering as he locked eyes with you.

You shyed away from him, desperately trying to take your hands back, but his grip was firm. There was no escape.

“I-I changed my mind, officer!” You turned to the policeman, who was just leaving the room, leaving you with him. “I don’t want to talk to a hero, I’m sorry!”

The man turned back to you, a lazy, amused, smirk on his face. 

“Don’t worry, he’s a pro. You’ll be fine.” The man waved you off, shutting the door behind him. You felt like screaming, or throwing up, or both.

Something about Hawks seemed off. The way he looked at you, touched you, grinned so wildly at you, he didn’t look like a hero.

He looked like a crazed lunatic.

Click

The officer had locked the door.

“U-um, hi, Hawks.” you whispered, voice quiet. Fuck you wished Izanagi was here to comfort you. Hawks’ gloves were cold, the beaten leather rough against your hands, they were nothing like the gentle warmth that Izanagi’s soft skin emitted. 

His grin only grew, and he pulled you close to him, arms reaching around under your wings to grip your back. You squeaked, instinctively grabbing onto his biceps. His body was pressed against yours, and his breathing quickened, his face buried into your shoulder. You could feel him inhaling your scent.

“Fuck.” he growled, and you could feel his talons digging into your skin through his gloves and your shirt. “You have no idea how happy I am to finally see you again.” his voice wavered, and you could practically feel his excitement.

“S-sir, please let me go-” you whimpered. “I’m here to report a crime, not as a fan trying to meet you.” the hero cooed, only holding you tighter. 

“I know why you’re here, dear Y/n~” his breath tickled your ear, and you felt tears brimming in your eyes. “And I know who’s been following you. So nice of him to send you all those gifts, right~?” 

No

“So cruel of you to act like he’s a criminal.”

Not like this 

“He’s going to take good care of you~” 

Not right now 

“I love you so much”

Ow.

You felt... foggy.

And warm, really warm.

Tired…

So… tired…

Darkness.

[tamagoincident]

To Lure a Bird

arthur morgan x reader

summary: The Van der Linde Gang plans to rob a train, too bad you hit it first. You, being the reasonable person you are, coerce rough-looking men to run a job with you in exchange for the stolen money, and everyone gets more than they bargained for.

chapter: 1/10

link: AO3

Chapter One - A Mutual Enemy

On the evening you first heard of the Van der Linde Gang’s presence in Valentine, you stood at the bar of Smithfield's Saloon disguised in men’s clothing. Not a typical Friday for you, as you tried not to make it a habit of sticking around places where reckless men became more reckless the further they disappeared into their cups. But years ago you’d helped the bartender, a giant man named Ernest, drum up enough money to pay off his debtors, and he held you in the highest of regards ever since. It was the only place you could drink without being disturbed. Ernest made sure of that.

“What’ll it be, the usual?” he winked at you, his large hands already reaching toward the whiskey.

You smiled and nodded.

“I have information you might want to hear,” he continued, pouring the liquor into a glass and sliding it towards you. You caught it easily.

“Oh?”

“There was a young lady here last night. Overheard her talkin’ to some fancy pants New Yorker who kept braggin’ ‘bout the luxury train he’ll be taking back to the North. She seemed awfully intrigued,” Ernest said. “And get this, it weren’t the only instance I’d seen her, neither. Few days ago she’d been traipsin’ around the outskirts of Valentine with a bunch of scary lookin’ out-of-towners.”

“Figure they’re planning on robbing the train?”

Ernest shrugged. “It’s easy pickin’. You know how naïve high society can be.”

Maybe easy enough for a one-person job, if done quickly and with care. You’d only robbed a train once with two people you used to run with. You didn’t run with them anymore. It hurt you to think of it.

You held up your glass for a refill and leaned forward, brimming with interest. “Tell me more about this train.”

—

The train tracks rattled underneath Arthur’s feet.

“Get movin’,” he said to Sean, pointing towards the trees hidden in the darkness. Arthur climbed atop the wagon they’d rode in on and placed in the middle of the tracks, which bore five hundred gallons of oil. He widened his stance for balance and pulled a bandana over his mouth and nose. “Here she comes.”

Arthur squinted against the blinding brightness of the incoming headlight, cocking his rifle as it approached. The train’s horn bellowed into the night.

It saw him. Good.

It came to a hissing and screeching halt. A uniformed man stormed out from the front cab. “What's goin' on here? What's—aw hell,” the engineer wailed, kicking the dirt underneath his feet. “Not again! Gettin’ real tired of this shit.” Behind him, a shadow of blurred movement. Charles, ready to strike him unconscious.

Arthur jumped off the wagon. “Hold it!” he yelled to Charles, who paused his assault and instead restrained the man with a pistol aimed at his head. “What d’you mean, ‘Not again?’”

“If y’all are trying to rob us, we’ve already been hit,” he wheezed.

“You’re bluffin’.”

“You and your boys are more than welcome to board and check. Reckon it’s a waste of time though.”

Arthur swore. “Let him go, Mr. S.”

Charles let go. The engineer stumbled forward, sputtering and coughing. In between heavy breaths he said, “Happened near the Heartlands. Strange feller in a mask robbed us blind and then pointed a shotgun at me, gruntin’ at me to start the engine or he’ll call for his gang to kill everyone on board.”

“Why in God’s name would he do that?” Arthur said.

“Beats me. But now that I think of it, he was probably expecting y’all. Here, he gave me this—” he moved to reach into his coat pocket, but ceased upon the chorus of rifles cocking. Sean and John had appeared to find what the holdup was.

“Don’t move a goddamn muscle,” Arthur growled. “Mr. S., if you could kindly grab whatever’s in that fool’s pocket.”

Charles complied, plucking out a wad of paper. He handed it to Sean, who read aloud:

Don’t want the loot, only your attention.

Have your lady informant go back to the saloon and talk to the bartender.

He’ll tell you where to find me.

Cause any trouble and you won’t see a cent.

Sean laughed bitterly, waving the note in the air. “Got us good, didn't he?”

“Give me that, you idiot.” Arthur snatched the note and tilted the lettering towards the train's headlight. “Goddamn it—”

A bullet whizzed by Arthur’s head. The engineer dove to the ground for safety.

“Get on your horses!” Arthur yelled to the gang and whistled. Once in the saddle, he spurred the horse on and rode hard into the trees, past the storm of bullets, and evaded capture.

He was the last to arrive back at camp, after making sure he hadn’t been followed. He passed Dutch’s closed tent and found Sean blackout drunk near the fire. John sat close by, clearly on the same trajectory as the Irishman, with the amount of empty beer bottles at his feet. Arthur cleared his throat. “Where’s Charles?”

John glanced up, eyes bleary and lined with red. In the firelight he looked small and exhausted. “Asleep.”

“You should be too.”

“Well, I ain’t,” John mumbled tipping the beer to his lips and draining it. He tossed the bottle aside with a crash.

“Need me to tuck you in Marston? How ‘bout a bedtime story?”

“Real funny, Arthur."

Arthur sat down across from John, allowing the sound of crickets and snuffling horses to fill the silence between them. When he spoke, his tone was softer. “Don’t think I’ve seen you this shaken. Not even when you was freezin’ your ass off after them wolves got to you.”

John’s gaze dropped to his lap. “I’m a bit rattled, s’all. I got a bad feelin’, Arthur.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you think the law showed up a little too fast?”

“Maybe,” Arthur said. “I’m more curious about the son-of-a-bitch who knew we was gonna rob that train.” He turned, pulling the note he’d stashed into his saddlebag and brandishing it.

“See? You’re worried too. S’not just me.”

“I’m not worried,” Arthur cast the notion aside. No use in admitting to being worried unless there was really something to lose sleep over, especially in front of John, who looked like he was fixing for an excuse to leave again. Arthur didn’t want to be the person to give him one. He would gladly take a bullet before he watched Abigail’s face twist back into sorrow and disappointment on account of John flying the coop.

“We gonna be okay, Arthur?” John asks.

“Can’t tell the future anymore than you can, Marston,” Arthur said, crumpling the note in his fist. “What we can do is find the bastard who pulled the wool over our eyes, and deal with the rest as it comes along. I’ll talk to Mary-Beth tomorrow. Ask her to go back up to the saloon.”

John watched as Arthur tossed the paper into the fire, the edges curling into black.

—

You waited across the tracks from the abandoned trading post in Roanoke Ridge, taking shelter behind a sturdy tree (you’d almost hid behind one crawling with poison ivy vines, what a sight that would have been). The instructions you’d given Ernest to pass on had been clear: Whoever is sent must be on time and arrive alone. You checked your pocket watch. Already a half hour late. Out of desperation you remained a few minutes longer. The sun was almost at its peak in the sky, and you were getting hot with your scarf obscuring the lower half of your face. You cursed yourself for wearing such bulky trousers and long sleeves.

In your mind, the heist had been preferable to wasting away in the heat. With a little theater and luck, you managed to rob the train heading north. You still couldn’t believe your good fortune. Keeping your voice low and husky, the passengers and engineer had mistaken you for some hardened outlaw. You’d threatened them with your non-existent gang that was supposedly trailing close behind. In reality, the only thing riding alongside the train was the horse you’d borrowed from Ernest.

You scanned the landscape with binoculars, on the precipice of calling it a day, when you saw a pair of figures ascend the hill behind the dilapidated structure. The taller of the two was wearing a fading grey shirt that you imagined was once white, which stretched across his broad shoulders. He staked a far contrast to the companion at his left, a leaner man with dark hair that extended past a deep scar on his cheek. Both looked tough and mean. Exactly the type of men you’d hoped for.

Though two against one, the odds weren’t good if things went south.

You dropped the binoculars and reached for your rifle. Steadying yourself, you squinted through the scope, drifting down the length of their bodies until their dusty leather boots came into view. You cocked the gun, exhaled, and took the shot, aiming inches away from them.

“Shit!”

“Thought I’d said to come alone,” you called out. “If one of you gentlemen doesn’t get going, the next two bullets will be right in the forehead.”

“Jesus Christ,” the dark-haired man yelped. “Is that a woman shooting at us?”

“Woman or not, doesn’t change the fact she’s got a goddamn rifle!” the other fired back. “Alright, miss, my friend here is gonna get on his horse and leave. Ain’t that right, Marston?”

“Rode all the way out here for nothin’,'' he complained loudly and whistled. When his horse came around, he placed his foot in the stirrups and swung his leg over the saddle. “If you ain’t back by sundown, I’ll come lookin’ for you, Arthur. Hear that, lady?”

Arthur waved a dismissive hand. You waited until the horse disappeared behind the hills before coming out from the brush. At this distance, you could discern more of his features. The first of which you noticed were bright blue eyes that writers and painters alike had mused over for centuries.

He directed them at you. “There,” he said. “Happy?”

You lowered your rifle. “We’re off to a poor start, I’m afraid.”

“Don’t want no trouble. Just didn’t know what we was walkin’ into,” he said, moving closer, hands up slightly as if to not appear threatening. “You were real vague in that note of yours.”

You reaffirmed your grip on your rifle. “That’s close enough,” you said. Any closer and he’d eclipse you, your neck within snapping distance of those strong hands.

“Then, how about you tell me how this is gonna go?”

In the days leading to this moment, you’d thought of the ways you were going to approach this. Never did you imagine getting this far. “Do you have any idea why I may have invited you here?”

“To gloat, perhaps? About beatin’ us to that train?”

An involuntary upward twitch at the corner of your mouth. “Not quite, sir. I value my time and yours, so I’ll keep it short. I need you.”

Arthur pointed to himself. “You... need me?”

“Yes, you.”

He dipped his head, obscuring whatever expression he was making beneath the brim of his hat. Rubbing his neck, Arthur said, “Can’t imagine why you’d need me, lady. Accountin’ for the fact you don’t even know me.”

“I’ll rephrase. It’s not you I need exactly, it’s somebody like you. And your friend, for that matter.” You paused. “I used to have partners, too. One is dead, the other is in need of rescue. She was kidnapped. I want to hire you to help get her back.”

“Why not go to the sheriff? Seems a hell of a lot easier than getting up to all this trouble.”

“The sheriff?” you scoffed. “You really think he’d risk himself and his men to help me save a working girl from outlaws? Most likely he’d look into my background, and then I’d be arrested before I could even blink.”

“So all we gotta do is save your friend from her kidnappers and what, you’ll pay us?”

“You’ll get the money from the train, and I’ll throw in seventy dollars on top of that,” you said.

“What’s the catch?”

“Pardon me?”

“The catch,” Arthur repeated. “Seems too easy.”

“Didn’t say it’d be easy. Are you familiar with the O’Driscoll Boys?”

A spark of recognition. He was, in fact, familiar. “Yeah, I heard of ‘em. Your friend Emma… them boys captured her?”

You nodded. “A former client of hers runs with that gang. He found us in a hotel room, shot Henry, and knocked me out. When I came to, Emma was gone, and I was alone.”

“Under ordinary circumstances, I’d be glad to help,” he said. “You see, there’s someone I’d need to run this by and he’s already got it out for their leader, Colm O’Driscoll. This’d be the perfect excuse for him to do something goddamn stupid.”

“Please. If you’re familiar with them, you can imagine how awful it must be for her. I’ll even give you half the money upfront,” you said, decocking your rifle and slipping it back over your shoulder by its leather strap.

“Can’t promise nothin’, but I’ll talk it over with some people tonight. Meet me at that saloon in two days, same time. If it goes in your favor, I’ll take you to see the man who makes all the decisions.”

“Are you going to make me wait again?” you asked.

“You’re the one asking for favors, miss.”

“I’m offering a job.”

Arthur’s lips set into a hard line. “A job that might get us into a world of trouble, adding fuel to a fire that’s been burnin’ for a long time now. Frankly, you don’t know what you’re getting into.”

And because you didn’t want to push your luck, you fell silent. You watched him call for his horse and mount it.

“I’ll be on time,” he mumbled as an afterthought, and rode off in the direction he came.

[47-shades-of-hitman]

Seven days of Valentine with Agent 47 | Day 5 | NSFW

Day 5 - “Cream-pie” for dessert | NSFW

Even though Agent 47 is an excellent cook, you'd much rather have him for dinner.

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, oral (male and female giving/receiving)

Link to my Hitman-related Discord server

Your legs dangled off the edge of the countertop, occasionally kicking the drawers underneath. Not that it mattered, because your socked feet would do no damage to the hardwood of the kitchen.

Agent 47 stood stirring in a pan of spinach, but the scent of well-seasoned salmon was what made you linger here whilst he prepared dinner – well, that, and the hitman’s presence.

He remained in his crisp white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, the top buttons undone, crimson tie loosened. The veins running across his forearms made you want you trace your fingers over them, but you didn’t want to disturb him.

The scene in front of you was utterly domestic – a checked tea-towel thrown over his shoulder, a thin sheen of sweat visible on his brow in the heat of the stove, his bare feet on the kitchen floor. It was a sight you could get used to, but his occupation made you unable to settle in the way you wanted.

You let your foot graze against his hip, and as he looked up at you, you smiled softly at him.

“Thank you.” you whispered. “For taking care of me.”

“Of course.” 47 replied, wrapping his fingers around your ankle, caressing your skin as he flipped the salmon with his free hand. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

Your heart swelled at the nickname like it always did when it slipped velvety smooth off his tongue. That, combined with the current setting, made your stomach flutter with something else than just love.

Oh, how you wanted to run your fingers over that exposed sliver of his pale chest and run them all the way down to his abdomen, where his hard muscles came down to that beautiful and soft V-shaped curve, right above his—

“(Y/n)?” You snapped out of your impure thoughts. “Hm?” “I’m almost done. Could you lay the table, please?”

Your eyes locked with his and you slightly tilted your head. “What’s for dessert?” As much as you loved 47’s cooking, since he was excellent at it, you preferred to taste him above all.

“Well,” 47 began, “I have brought those chocolates you like, and we also have some soft serve with whipped cream and—”

“Can’t we just start with the dessert?” you purred suggestively, reaching over to caress his arm. His blue eyes flickered to it, his muscles slightly flexing at your touch but soon relaxing as he realised what you were doing.

“What did you have in mind? This will all get cold if we—” “Can you just shut up and kiss me?”

You hooked your leg around his hip, pulling him towards you. His hands came to rest on either side of your thighs and you leaned in, connecting your mouth to his. 47 hummed into it, pulling back after a few seconds in order to turn off the stove.

He was soon kissing you again, though, softly sucking at your bottom lip. You took his face in your hands and deepened the kiss, tongue sliding over his without much effort.

Agent 47 took your hips and pulled you to the very edge of the countertop, fingers undoing the button of your pants before sliding it down your legs. You smiled at the action and at the practised ease he displayed while doing so before positioning himself between your legs again, so he could press his face into your neck and leave a few marks-turning-bruises.

His fingers came to rest at your jaw, tilting up your head so he could suck at your throat, tongue and teeth gentle and hot against your skin, travelling down to the top of your shirt. Without a word, you lifted your arms so he could take it off of you. Deft fingers unclasped your bra and immediately teased at your hardened nipples after disposing of it.

You sighed, popping a few buttons of his shirt as he brought his lips to rest at the nape of your neck, brushing down to suckle at the sensitive buds in the centre of your breasts. His mouth remained there whilst he opened his belt, ridding himself of the restraining fabric of his slacks.

The outlines of his erection were pressing against the cotton of his briefs and you soon fondled it, finding it steadily swelling against your palm. He pulled back from your breast and once again opted for your lips, rolling his tongue against yours deliciously.

For a moment, he reluctantly tore himself away from your mouth to focus his gaze on your heated flesh – he pried aside your panties to reveal the soaked folds of your flower, fingers parting them to find your swollen clit and tease it – albeit shortly. You softly moaned, legs jerking at the feeling of his thumb brushing at your clitoris, toes curling already.

“47…” you whimpered. “Fuck me…” “All in due time, sweetheart.” He slid your underwear off your legs and inspected your wet pussy for a second before retreating to the fridge. “Hey, where are you going?” you breathed, afraid that he was having second thoughts about this little adventure.

From the fridge, he took the bowl of whipped cream he had prepared earlier, soon returning to your side. He leaned closer to your ear, ghosting his lips over the shell whilst you rested your hands on his biceps.

“I’m in the mood for some… Cream-pie.” You shuddered at the huskiness of his voice, gripping at his arms as he licked a wet stripe from under your ear to your throat, and then, he crouched down between your legs, hot breath fanning over your drenched sex. With his finger, he took a dollop of cream and smeared it over your pussy lips without a warning.

You shivered, one hand grabbing at your own breast whilst the other gripped at the edge of the counter. “Fuck, 47…” He kissed the insides of your thighs, searing breath wafting against where you needed him most.

You didn’t need to complain for long – soon, his mouth latched onto your cunt, tongue slithering in between your labia to taste from your nectar. You moaned loudly, immediately arching your back and pressing yourself tighter against is mouth. “47…!” you mewled, “Fuck!”

He hummed against your core, tonguing at your clit for a moment. You cradled one hand behind his head, pushing him impossibly closer. His chin was slick with your juices as were his lips, eating away at you. He kissed at your folds before wrapping his lips around your sensitive clitoris, suddenly sucking it flat against his tongue.

Your stomach twisted pleasantly and you gasped his name, pleasure pulsating through you with every movement of his mouth on you. Biting your bottom lip, you whimpered, grinding against his face. He had only barely started, but you were close – undeniably close…

“Forty—” you moaned, unable to murmur his name. “Gonna cum…” you managed to gasp under the heat of his tongue on your cunt, slipping into your depths, tasting you even deeper. His thumb brushed at your clit and you gripped the edges of the counter, digging your nails inside the wood as he pushed you closer to that edge with every passing second.

“Gah!” A cry of dismay left your lips when his heat was suddenly gone before he allowed you to climax, yet he soon positioned himself between your legs again, pressing his mouth firmly to yours. You could taste a mixture of yourself and whipped cream on his tongue, the sweetness only adding to how naughty the flavour already was.

47 shimmied off his briefs and rested his cock on the expanse of your pussy, rubbing it up and down across it to lube himself up and tease you in the process. “Fuck…” you sighed, gripping at his forearms as he guided his tip into you, sliding deeper until he was fully hilted inside of you, filling you up nicely.

Agent 47 gripped at your thigh, his other hand coming to rest in your neck, thumb pressing under your chin to make you look up at him. His piercing eyes locked with yours as he began to thrust, soon increasing the pace for he knew from the clench of your walls around him that you needed him – desperately so.

You could only choke out a few moans and something sounding like his name as he stared at you, pools of blue drilling into your soul as the soft pap-pap-pap of his body colliding with yours echoed through your skull.

His breathing hitched at the feel of your tightness, his speed quickening out of instinct. 47 could not look away from your blushing face, captivated by how delicious your expression was, how your lips parted and brows knitted together in a deep frown, a tell-tale sign of your orgasm nearing.

“47…” you forced out, “You’re gonna make… Me…” You could barely find your words, but he told you that he understood by pressing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss, tongue parting your lips right away.

Your arms wrapped around his neck and you pulled him closer, snogging him deeply, and there it was. Your toes curled and you tensed, momentarily paralyzed in the moment, but electricity pulsated through you and the flicking of his fingers on your clit were no help either. With a soft cry, you orgasmed, fingers tingling as they caressed the tattoo on the back of his head, wholly familiar with its outline.

He drove his hips into you a few more times until he was sure that your high had subdued, and as soon as he removed himself from your satisfied depths, you slipped onto your knees, bringing the bowl of whipped cream that had been standing next to you along.

With one of your fingers, you took a large dollop of cream and spread it on the weeping tip of his cock, smearing it all the way to the base.

Agent 47 laced one hand in your hair as you brought your mouth to his length, your hot breath hitting his skin pleasantly. Even though he was big, you were quite experienced and it wasn’t he first time you took him in. It didn’t take long for you to establish a steady bobbing of your head, messily sucking at the whipped cream in the process.

He gritted his teeth and sighed your name, keeping himself from throwing back his head in pleasure, because you were way too beautiful to not cherish the sight. You looked up at him with half-lidded eyes, humming around his cock to send vibrations up his spine.

Pleasure jolted through his spine and his hand in your hair convulsed, and he muttered something akin a warning – you pulled back immediately and he leaned down to drag you back onto the counter. Right in time, because he bottomed out in one swift movement as soon as you felt the surface against your ass again, spilling himself deeply inside of you.

47 pounded into you a few more times, his spend running down your thighs whilst he pulled out, causing him to sigh softly.

“I love you, 47.” you breathed, pulling him down for a kiss. It was sweet and short, but still hot, especially combined with his seed cooling on your thighs.

“And I, you, (Y/n).” was his reply, his hand cradling your face. For a moment, he rubbed his length between your pussy lips again, spreading whatever was left around there. “A cream-pie for dessert, hm?”

You bit your lip, smiling sweetly. “Oh, 47…” you mused, pulling him closer against you, “It’s too bad that I can’t eat it myself… Why not help me do it?”

His answer was non-verbal and consisted out of his fingers plunging deeply into you, determined to give you what you wanted.

By the time this was going be over, your original dinner would be long cold.

[formenis]

Score of zero: Love (”Gym” pt.2)

@ everybodyhatesluh asked: “I need part 2 of "gym"! Plss! Where the reader tells her love for L! And then her dad askes her who is her boyfriend! I would Love! Luh~💫💛🦋" 

Tennis references~

I like putting L in a difficult position, ehehe~

pairing: L x Yagami!fem!reader

warning: fluff I guess?

requested: yes

Remember English is not my first language (and it’s a bit late here) so I’m sorry about the mistakes in my stories.

«"Chocolate Covered Strawberry Brownies"? No, I don't have the mould»

Flip.

«"Heart-Shaped Cake"? Too obvious»

Flip.

«"Strawberry Shortcake Fudge"? It's too pink»

Y/N closed the book and groaned. «Ugh! I can't get my head round this! The fact that he loves all sweets bothers me…»

It was late afternoon at Yagami house. Orange sunbeams lighted up the kitchen and the living room creating a relaxing atmosphere, all despite the narrow space of the house. Y/N was alone in that moment: Light was somewhere with Soichiro, Sachiko was visiting one of her friends and Sayu was at school for some project.

Y/N took advantage of the situation to bake something for Hideki on the occasion of Valentine's Day. However, she sensed that Hideki would never reciprocate her feelings: he gave her the impression to be out of her reach.

«Come on! I'm a Yagami, after all! At least I have to try» Y/N leafed again through the cookery book when she heard the front door open.

«I'm home!»

It was Sayu, she came back earlier from school. Y/N quickly tried to hide the cookbook but Sayu entered the kitchen in a rush. «Y/N~ What are you doing?»

«Me? I wanted to bake something…»

«Really? For who?~» Sayu asked with a strange smirk.

«For myself I guess?» Y/N lied hoping Sayu would go away. But her little sister's smirk just grew wider.

«I don’t believe you~» the two sisters stared at each other for entire minutes. They were secretly hoping the other would give in.

Y/N sighed. «Fine, it's for a boy…» she admitted after a while, Y/N couldn’t lie at her cute sister.

Sayu, on the other hand, was squealing like a fangirl. «I knew it! I knew it! My sis has a crush!»

«Sayu please! Don’t yell…and don’t tell dad!»

Once again, the youngest Yagami smirked mischievously. «I will be as silent as the grave…at one condition»

Y/N sighed again. «What condition…»

«You have to help me with homework for a month»

Y/N complained loudly but if it was the price for Sayu's silence, she had to accept it. So Y/N agreed with her sister and together they started to choose a good sweet to give to this mysterious boy. Y/N told her about how they met and how she became infatuated by him despite most people would define him as "weird".

«Since you played tennis with him, why don’t you do something that recalls a tennis match?» Sayu said casually while browsing through the cookbook bored. At first Y/N didn’t pay attention to what she said but then, after a long reasoning, she hugged Sayu very tightly.

«Sayu, you're a genius!»

♰ TIME SKIP ♰

Something in L's plan went wrong. Impossible, nothing planned by him went wrong…but what happened?

Originally, his intention was to get closer to Y/N Yagami in order to find some evidence about his involvement in the Kira case. More in particular, a proof that Y/N's older brother was, indeed, Kira himself. L would appear in the right places at the right moments, he would always say the right things and he would always be a great listener. Of course he already knew everything about the Yagami family so every confidence Y/N would do to him, the greatest detective L was already informed about it. But he acted as if he never heard anything.

Initially, it went well. Y/N was getting closer and closer to him, her confidences became more intimate and she opened more to him. L was even touched when he heard from her –during the period of surveillance- that she was in love with him, he found her cute. In this exact moment everything fell for him. And L fell too…yes, he fell in love with Y/N Yagami.

In this situation we shouldn’t forget about Soichiro. He, being Y/N's father, was more than bothered by what he heard from the cameras in his house. But not because he didn’t trust his Y/N but mostly because he didn’t trust this "boy" she talked about.

«Uhm Chief…are you sure about this?»

«Matsuda, we have to investigate. This boy could be Kira!»

«But Chief…I think your daughter would never date a potential Kira» Aizawa replied looking at his superior with shock.

«Aizawa is right, Yagami-san. Please, focus your energies on the Kira case and not on your daughter's romantic life»

Soichiro snorted, not fully convinced, but Ryuzaki was his superior co-worker and he had to obey. At least for now.

.

.

.

.

«Casual or formal attire?»

«Casual of course. It's not a date…yet»

«Sayu!»

The two sister, together in Y/N's room, were deciding the outfit for Y/N's love confession. Now she understood her classmates' nervousness about Valentine's day.

«Dress or not dress?» Y/N asked unsure in front of the mirror with two cute dresses in her hands.

«Y/N, wear whatever makes you comfortable…even your school uniform if you want»

She nodded at Sayu and chose F/C shirt / blouse / sweatshirt / hoodie paired with F/C pants / skirt / shorts and favourite shoes. In her bag / small backpack she put all her belongings and the cake she baked for Hideki. Y/N applied a little bit of makeup and brushed her H/C hair in a cute hairstyle.

«How do I look?»

«Gorgeous sis~»

Y/N smiled at Sayu and thanked her for all the advices. Shortly afterwards she would confess her feelings for a boy met at the gym.

��� TIME SKIP ♰

And then, the day came. 14th February. Y/N decided to meet Hideki after one of his tennis matches at the To-Oh University. She was so nervous, she could sense how sweaty the hands were and how the heart was beating fast.

She was going to come back home and to postpone everything when she saw Hideki at the door of the gym.

«Y/N-chan, hello» Hideki walked closed, slouched as always with his tennis racket in one hand. He hadn’t no sweat on him despite the other athletes behind him were tired.

«H-Hideki-kun! Hi…how was the training today?» Y/N wanted to slap herself for the stutter when she greeted him.

«Quite boring, the others were not skilled as you or your brother» he smiled at her clearly moved by that sudden shyness from the second-born Yagami.

«Would you…would you go to the nearby cafeteria? I heard there's a special menu today»

«Gladly Y/N-chan»

And together they went to this new cafeteria near the To-Oh. However, the too much mushy aspect of the place made Y/N regret the offer she made to Hideki.

«Ah today is Valentine's Day…» Hideki said once inside the cafeteria, looking curiously around like a child inside a toy store: pink and red hearts everywhere –even sweets and candies had that shape-, a strawberry scent filled the air and on TV there was a famous musical.

The waiter asked if Y/N and Hideki were a couple and Y/N quickly said they were only friends. With a fast look, Y/N noticed that Hideki didn’t flinch at that statement. Maybe he really didn’t fell anything for her. A wave of sadness and disappointment hit her like a train and suddenly she started to hate that day.

Hideki and Y/N, once the waiter showed them a table, sat down they talked about many things: sport, University, school and about Kira too.

«What do you think of Kira, Y/N-chan?»

«Well…» she thought for a bit before answering. «It doesn’t matter how noble their ideals are, killing people is always a crime. So I hope this L will catch them»

«Yes, I hope it too»

The two of them were so much focused on their conversation that they didn’t notice someone recognised them from the shop window.

«Matsu look! Isn't that Ryuzaki?» Misa was looking at the shop window searching for something to buy for Light when she spotted a familiar black haired boy who was crouched on the chair instead of sitting.

Matsuda, who was with her according to L's orders, spied inside the cafeteria and he recognised not only Ryuzaki but Chief Yagami's daughter too. «That's Light's sister! So the famous "boy met at the gym" is Ryuzaki! I have to tell the Chief»

In that moment, Y/N grew nervous when she remembered the cake in her bag / small backpack. And Hideki must have noticed it.

«Are you alright, Y/N-chan?»  his monotone voice distracted the young girl from her nervous thoughts.

«Well…actually no»

«Is something bothering you?»

«I…have something to tell you, Hideki» she shifted anxiously in the chair.

«What is it?» again, Hideki's emotionless voice didn’t suggest her what he was feeling. Had she to continue? Or was it better to end the "date" there?

Her shaking hands curled into fists, determination was clear in her E/C eyes. «If I tell you I… You know… Care about you… Would you laugh at me? I never felt so good around someone…for once I was not Light Yagami's sister or Chief Yagami's daughter. With you I can be just Y/N, a girl who clearly cannot even choose a proper place to confess, eh!» she chuckled at the last part, maybe her attempt to wash away her current nervous state.  

Then she took a cute pastel purple box from the bag / small backpack and placed it on the table. «I made this…for you» she didn’t dare to look up at him, scared of his reaction.

Y/N heard he took the box and slowly he was opening it. Its contents were chocolate-covered cake balls that recalled tiny tennis balls. «Since I first saw you after a tennis match, I thought it would be nice doing something in memory of that day» she added shortly after, her gaze was still focused on her lap.

On the other hand, despite from outside he would appear calm and composed, L was panicking inside. He knew Y/N was going to confess, he knew what day was…so why that confession, those simple words hit him so hard?

"Internal check: sweaty hands, dry mouth, quickened heartbeat and…warm face. Wait…warm face?" L thought while observing the tiny cakes in front of him.

Yes, L was blushing and his brain was in tilt. Too many thoughts, too many emotions so suddenly. It floored him.

«But it seems…I imagined everything» Y/N broke the embarrassing silence that filled the air between them. Her voice cracked showing how much hurt she was. «Thank you for your time, Hideki-kun…and sorry» she stood up and bowed at him.

She was going to leave the cafeteria when a strong grip at her wrist stopped her. She turned and a tint of pink painted her cheeks, in front of her one of the cutest sight: a tomato-red Hideki who was looking away embarrassed.

«Excuse me, Y/N-chan, I have to say something against what you said earlier…»

«Uh?»

«I apologise if I didn’t reply to you but…hm…I don’t know the protocol for this kind of situations. Few moments ago I had so many thoughts in my mind but my mouth wasn’t able to formulate a proper phrase» L started to say, now it was his turn to be embarrassed, something so rare for him. «And about what you said before…I accept them. Your feelings, I mean. People like you are rare and precious…and since I always want the best, I want you by my side» he moved his dark eyes on her noticing she was even redder than him.

Y/N was staring at him in disbelief. Did she hear it right? He said…he accepted her feelings. She wasn’t dreaming, right?

«So…would you eat those sweets with me?» Hideki asked her and she nodded with a bright smile on her face.

At the same time, at the HQ, Matsuda informed Soichiro about what he saw at the cafeteria. At those words, Soichiro became gloomy and baffled.

«Ryuzaki is my daughter's boyfriend and my superior co-worker…this is even worse than I imagined»

Aizawa and Mogi were looking at him concerned. «Matsuda…you owe me 30.000¥» (A/N: something like 275$ USD with the actual exchange rate).

The young detective sighed defeated and gave the money to Aizawa.

«I knew I was right all along»

[alreadyblondenow]

Christmas Gram 

▸ Jaemin x reader ▸ 1,876k words ▸ Fluff only ▸ No warnings, but this is inspired by his mini drama and his character is close to Han Daegang hehehe ▸ Requested and part of B’s giving back event,  Ho Ho Ho?!  See anon request message at the end of this drabble. 

"Christmas Gram

Wherein your secret Santa will give you gifts depending on what’s demanded during the week. For our first week, you are required to give the person you got something fragile, the second week will be a stress reliever may it be a stress ball or whatever comes to your mind, and lastly something that will last forever.

Please leave the gifts on top of the desk of the person you got. Secretly. I repeat, secretly. Don’t ruin the fun."

Everyone acknowledged what your homeroom teacher just explained. Besides Valentine gram, everyone always looks forward to Christmas gram. The gifts given during Christmas gram are very special, but that depends on who got you. If you’re lucky you can get something even better than a tissue paper when the Christmas gram demands something soft. If that person who got you really cares for you, the gifts will be unique. But in your case, you never had a unique gift. It’s your senior year and you’re not keeping your hopes up.

Week 1: Something fragile

“Hey Y/n, are you excited for this year’s Christmas gram?” Yeji smirks while fixing her bag.

You rolled your eyes at her because she knew you got her for this year’s Christmas gram. “There’s no thrill with getting your best friend for Christmas Gram, I give you gifts since we were little” you whine and hand her your gift with a smile.

Usually, you get your gifts in the morning but this time, the day is almost ending and you haven’t had yours. Everyone else is either happy or whining about what they received for week one. Maybe you got really unlucky this year. “What did you get for something fragile?” You asked your seatmate, Jaemin, the school’s number one snob. But you can’t relate to that because you’re the only person who can talk to him.

“A saucer,” he says, pointing at the saucer on his table. “I can give it to my mom” he added.

The fact that he thought about his mom made you smile, but you feel bad for him for getting a freaking saucer for the first week of Christmas Gram. Even bad boys deserve a meaningful gift during Christmas gram. You weren’t that close, but he was nice to you. One time, when you were having a hard time editing something he came out of nowhere and helped you out, and you think he has the sweetest smile in this school, it was something you’ve never seen before and you wish he smiles more often.

“How about you?”

“I think he or she forgot to leave the gift. It’s alright though, Christmas Gram is about giving, and Yeji is happy with my gift to her” He nods and puts on his usual poker face again.

Four days after the start of week one, s parcel is sitting on your table with a note that says, ‘Sorry. The delivery took a while. Here’s something fragile for you, I hope you keep it beside your bed so you can look into something nice before you close your eyes every night’

Your secret someone didn’t even bother wrapping it nicely but the note is sweet. 'fragile' it says on the sticker. You made sure to open it with care and carefully remove it from the box. The moment the glitters hit the natural sunlight, it illuminates around the room and the fragile thing that you’re holding is illuminating beautifully which made you smile from ear to ear. You shake and shake the snow globe and watch the glitters float around inside. Fragile indeed, you thought. Definitely for safekeeping.

Week 2: Stress reliever

You were looking at Jaemin’s long eyelashes while he was fidgeting with his expensive camera. Completely spaced out and your mind is just thinking how the other students hate him for being who he is. If only others could set aside Jamin’s bad boy image, they will see how handsome this boy is-

“I can hear your thoughts. You think I’m handsome” he blurted out and brought you back to reality. He was just teasing you though and gave you a small candy cane. “Put it in your hot chocolate tonight if you’re into that,” he says then goes back to fidgeting with his camera.

For the second week, your gift got delayed again. This time you didn’t feel bad even just for a second, maybe your secret Sant will give it to you tomorrow. Who knows? The first gift was awesome.

Three days after the start of week two, you haven’t received any gift yet. And you know it’s not right to get sad about it, but you can't help it. Not to mention your studies and a lot of school activities are kicking your butt lately. You really needed that stress reliever.

“I had a stress ball for week two. You didn’t ask me what I got so I figured I tell you, what did you get?” Jaemin’s face looks unbothered. If you don’t know him well enough you will think that he doesn’t care but he does.

“I got nothing, and I’m done waiting,” you said a bit annoyed.

“Are you free after school then?” It was a bold move you thought. For starters, you’re not actually friends you’re just nice to each other. But maybe it’s time to change that, so you said ‘yes’ you’re free. He brought you to an animal cafe near your school where you can play with the dogs while having coffee, tea, or cakes. It was all smiles because of the cute puppies the whole afternoon and seeing Jaemin smile the whole time is such a sight to see. He doesn’t look like the Jaemin you see at school, this Jaemin is different. Which made you think, ‘what am I doing here with Jaemin?’

“Do you want to have a puppy?” He asked while giving the dog on his lap a tummy rub.

“Of course but my family doesn’t have time to go adopt or buy one so....”

“Ohh. Okay just asking”

The day ended with an awkward goodbye hug with Jaemin but it's the least you can do after he took out your stress and worries. You wore the smile that Jaemin gave you until you sleep oh so soundly that night.

The next day, you woke up happily on a beautiful weekend with no school works but a whole day of family Christmas decorating. When you went downstairs, you saw your family gathered in the living room gushing over something. “I think your boyfriend gave you a gift” your mom teased you.

“What boyfriend?” Then you saw a cute puppy on a box that your mom is carrying carefully with a smile. She was heading towards you to give it to you and there’s only one person you could think of right now. Jaemin. Your heart was so happy as you stretch your arms and reach for the puppy. It was an unexplainable feeling that you just screeching out of happiness, and express with a good amount of OMGs over and over again.

“He left it this morning, stayed outside the house until someone is awake. I think he didn’t want to leave the door on the doorstep”

Week 3: Something that will last forever

The week before Christmas break is finally here, and every student is excited to get their last gift and finally meet their ‘secret santa’. Rules are they have to hand you their final gift however they want, which makes everything even more nerve-wracking. And for your secret santa? You have a strong feeling that its Jaemin, you just don’t want to burst his bubble.  

“Hey” you smiled from ear to ear as you greet Jaemin before the first period starts. You saw a green box inside his backpack just peeking while he gets his books then you pretend you didn’t see anything. “the puppy last weekend uhm-“

“You were stressed and besides I didn’t want to go to the cafe alone” he smiles innocently like he didn’t just gave you something that will change your life, “I hope you take care of it though and I hope that the puppy will relieve all your stress until you go to college” and just like that, after that short conversation he’s back to being quiet again.

The day went on and you watch your schoolmates receive different kinds of gifts from unexpected people, which made you smile all throughout the day. But you… you expected Jaemin to give you the gift before the day ends but he still hasn't. Until classes are done and everyone is bidding goodbye and carrying their gifts except you. Maybe Jaemin got shy? So you did what you do best, just shrug it off and wait.

While you were waiting for your mom to finish cooking dinner, you were scanning through places that you want to go over the Christmas break. There's ice skating, a carnival downtown, and- “You have a visitor” your mom knocks at your door and told you that someone is waiting for you outside. “He won't get in unless he meets you outside. Invite him for dinner” your mom added.

“He?” you murmured. You put on your jacket and head towards the door and you see Jaemin wearing a sweater with his hands inside his pockets. No gift, you thought. “Hey what are you doing here?”

“Hi uhm,” he scratched the back of his nape before he continues.

“I know you got me for Christmas Gram. And if you’re here because you don’t know what to give me, it’s totally okay Jaemin. You’re a great guy and the puppy is enough, don’t worry” you smiled sweetly and tried to comfort him.

“What no- I got Jeno. I just wanted to give you gifts because you said it’s the season of giving, and uhm… I don’t want to waste this opportunity. I see you get disappointed with your secret Santa, so I gave you the gifts. It's just my way of entering into your life” he smiled awkwardly and chuckled.

You giggled and feel the butterflies in your stomach, “that’s cheating” you said with a smile and came closer to him like you’re inviting him to come closer to you too.

“Yeah but you’re worth it,” he said, looking at your lips then to your eyes. “Did they make you happy?”

“Mhmm” Inch by inch your bodies come close and the next thing you know Jaemin is holding you by the waist, “what’s your last gift then?”

“Me” It was a quiet moment but you get what he’s telling you, “if we do this right then we can last forever. But if not, then at least we tried, right?”

“Yes, I totally agree. But right now, you’re about to meet my whole family because my mom invited you to dinner” you teased him and you watch him froze, “you’ll be fine. Everyone likes you because you gave us a puppy” you offer your hand which he happily grabbed and you welcomed him to your home. And that night is the start of a sweet love story between you and Jaemin.

↩︎ prev next ▶︎

Dear Anon, thank you so much for requesting this! I’m not much of a fluff writer but I hope this gives justice to your request. Also, I made it almost Christmas day hihi. 

story time: During our Christmas party (2018) my friends surprised me with a puppy and I was so happy that I kept on saying “oh my gosh” almost thirty times hahahah The dog that was given to me became a stress reliever not just for me but for my mom also. My mother loved her so much that she brings the dog to her work and carry her with pride. hahahah 

[anntoldst0ries]

Christmas (Baby please come home) - part II

Pairing: Dr Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr Vicky Valentine)

Word Count: 6k+ 

Rating: R

Summary: Ethan & Vicky’s first Christmas together… will everything go as planned?

Category: Mini series, completed. Part I can be found here.

Warnings: A tiny bit of explicit language, mild sexual content. Other than this - I declare fluff, fluff and nothing but the fluff! :D  

Author’s note: Part II is here and it’s long - sorry not sorry :D I put a lot of effort into this story and I hope you’re gonna like it :) I’d like to thank A. from the bottom of my heart, not only has she proofread it and corrected my mistakes, but also gave me the most amazing feedback. Jenner’s response is also hers, but she thoughtfully let me use it :) This is for you my dear <3

Written for CFWC Winter season, using prompt 10. 

Christmas Eve

And then it was just them. 

In the car.

Alone. 

“For someone who has just said more words in 5 minutes than he does for a whole week, you’re surprisingly quiet, Dr Ramsey.’’

“Excellent observation, Dr Valentine. This is exactly the type of insight that earned you a spot on the Diagnostics Team.” Ethan threw her a tiny smile. “But it’s not surprising. It’s called getting things back on an even keel.”

She didn’t say anything, just gently moved her gaze outside the window, where the wintery Boston landscape unfolded right in front of them. In the background, Frank Sinatra’s velvety voice tucked her like a blanket and she couldn’t help but think he’d love White Christmas in the state of Massachusetts.

It wasn’t until then that she actually realised the Christmas song was playing in Ethan's car and not from the radio. This healthy compromise (Sinatra for him, Christmas song for her) made her smile, as she knew how much of an effort listening to Christmas tunes was for the man sitting on her left. His ears must have been bleeding heavily. She made sure of it, playing the jingles at full blast every evening, scarring him for life. 

“Did you call your family to let them know you’re not coming?” Ethan’s deep baritone roused Vicky from the sea of thoughts she was immersed in. 

“Nope, for two reasons: a - they didn’t know I was coming in the first place and b - I am still undecided.” 

Vicky noticed the muscles on his face twitch in an instant.  

“What can I do to help you make your mind up?” Ethan gently took her tiny hand in his and caressed the inside with his thumb. Then, he took it to his mouth and placed a kiss with great reverence, as if he was a religious fanatic and she was an object of religious cult. 

This took her by surprise. She was expecting a snotty remark, a raise of an eyebrow or dead silence. Instead, the question hit her with a load of affection so genuine that warmth instantly spread in her chest.

She knew exactly what it was that she needed.

He knew exactly what she was going to ask for.

“Ethan, I… listen, you and I both know there is something more to your reaction. What I said in your office, it was just a trigger. I don’t know what it is and frankly I thought about never mentioning it again. But we both know that the next time this happens, you will cut me off again. I am not going to force you to do something you don’t want to. I just can’t keep going through the same cycles and… and—“

He put his palm on hers and took a deep breath. 

“Are you hungry? Tired?” The older doctor asked with concern.

What the hell? Oh, I see what you’re doing Ramsey. Change of subject. Fine. I said what I wanted to say. The ball’s in your court now, doc.

“No to both.” She said as neutrally as possible, trying her best not to show him that the sudden change of subject upset her.

“Good. Before we go home, there is a place I need to stop by, is that ok?” The question sounded shyly, it wasn’t a tone she’d ever associate with him.

“I’ve never heard of a murderer who asked his victim if it’s ok to stop by the crime scene.”

“Trust me, if I were to murder you, you wouldn’t know.”

“Hmm, I’d like to think I know you well enough I would at least suspect.”

“I’d like to think you know me well enough to also know that I’d rather give you one of Dr Ramsey’s signature tirades. They are worse than murder.”

“No arguments here. So, will you tell me where we are going?”

“You’ll see.”

Soon, Ethan parked the car. He unbuckled the seat belt, opened the door and rushed to the other side, to open hers. He reached out for her hand with a faint smile and she blushed at the gentlemanly gesture. 

Having intertwined their fingers, Ethan led her along a high brick wall until a gate materialised in front of them. He gently pushed the gate and let her through. Only then did she realise where they actually were.

“Commonwealth Avenue Mall? What are we doing here?”

“If you ask me, it’s one of the most picturesque pathways I’ve ever seen and not only during winter. I like to come here for my runs and to… contemplate. Walk with me?” He asked, but it wasn’t really a question. Hand in hand, they walked down the alley. Fresh snow scrunched underfoot and the strings of lights danced to the melody of delicate wind. If this wasn’t a fairytale setting, she didn’t know what could be.

Vicky studied Ethan’s features carefully. Although he was still a closed book sometimes, she’s gotten quite good at reading him over the months. After Edenbrook, Ethan Ramsey was the second biggest field where her sharp diagnostic skills were heavily utilised. Maybe that’s what she should focus on once she starts her PhD? “The curious case of Ethan Jonah Ramsey.”

That’s how she noticed that something was clearly eating Ethan from the inside. If her calculations were correct, there was approximately 1/1000 chance of him making a decision to speak, so she decided to throw him a lifebelt. 

“Ethan, I can see that you want to say something, but it feels like you’re hesitating. Please don’t feel obliged to talk, I want you to do it on your own terms. As long as I know you want to talk to me eventually, I’m fine.”

“If I don’t speak now, I’m afraid I might never summon the courage.” Ethan tried to make it sound like a joke, but she knew how serious he was right now. She knew how much it had to cost him. Suddenly, she stopped and put her hands around his neck, then pressed her forehead to his.

“Don’t do this because of me.”

“Because of you? I’m not doing this because of you. I’m doing it for you. For us. What I’m about to say is painful, Vicky, but it’s nowhere near as painful as the thought of losing you. I’ve already told you how much time we lost because of my stubbornness. When… when you and Raf were locked in the hospital room…when I thought you were slipping from my grasp…” He had to stop to clear his throat and take a deep breath, clearly struggling to talk. “I promised myself that if life gives me a second chance, I will not waste it. I will work on this, on us, harder than I’ve worked during my 10 years at Edenbrook combined. I’d climb every damn mountain and swim every ocean if that’s what it takes to have you in my life.” 

She wanted to cry. It took every ounce of her strength not to. Ethan wasn’t a blabbermouth, but when he spoke - man, he knew how to choose his words wisely.

“Ethan, whatever it is… we will get through it. Together. You are not alone, darling.”

Ethan felt tears prickling from underneath his closed lids. Not only because of what she said, but also because of what she didn’t say. He saw the impact of his words in her eyes, yet she didn’t want to make this about her, but him. Her selflessness was one of the things he loved and admired most about her.  The older doctor never let himself be so vulnerable with any other person and as hard as it was for him, it also felt strangely right. As if all the pieces of this crazy puzzle called life finally came together. 

Feeling as ready as he’d ever be, he took a deep breath and said: “Let me take you on a trip down memory lane…”

25 years earlier

Ethan is 11 and he’s sitting alone in his room. The window in the 4 walls of his world overlooks the street and it's his only connection to the outside world. The window sill underneath is wide enough to sit on it, but not very comfortable for a long time. 

He doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting there, unmoving. It may have been hours, it may have been days. Time lost its sense.

He’s already past the point of pain caused by the unnatural position, his body has entered the numb phase, and he doesn’t feel anything anymore. He wishes his mind could join his body in the bliss of being rid of feelings.

It is only thanks to the carollers wandering on the streets that he’s convinced it must be Christmas Eve. And how he also knows it’s been 27 days since his mother walked out on him. Anger mixes with despair, yet he’s unable to stop waiting for her, stop jumping involuntarily at any movement in close proximity of his home. There is still hope.

Unbeknownst to him, Alan stands on the other side of the door trying to make the hardest decision today: to save his son or to be there for his son. Alan is a painful reminder of the life they once had, a bridge to the reality that tumbled down. He slowly retreats from the door, unsure if he’s doing the right or the bad thing. How are you supposed to know? Life does not exactly prepare you for moments like this.

Everyone asks him how Ethan is. No wonder, he is just a child whose mother disappeared into thin air. But do they not realise he suffers too? He loved, loves this woman more than life itself.

Alan was furious at Louise. But was he surprised? Not entirely. Deep down, he always knew that she was a restless soul. She always gave him hints - a subtle comment here and there, some words said during one of their fights. But he was blindly in love, so whenever she gave him reasons to think they shouldn’t be together, he ignored it. And when she did something that surprised him, she won him over and he lost the argument with himself.

What worried Alan was that Ethan started showing Louise’s personality traits. And as much as she fooled him, he didn’t want his only child to end up broken and hurt. If he could, he’d do anything to protect him. But even as a father he was unable to shield his child from the damage of being abandoned by his mother, the only person that should forever shower him with unconditional love. How does one ever recover from such trauma?

Ethan knew. Although his dad tiptoed around him, he felt it. He knew exactly that he was fighting internal battles. He knew that his father suffered. 

There wasn’t anything that he wanted more than for his dad to come and hug him and tell him everything’s gonna be alright.

Or for his mum to come back home and explain the unexplainable. 

But somehow he knew this wasn’t going to happen and he was tired of waiting for a miracle.

And on this Christmas Eve he made a decision: he will never let anyone fool him with a promise of unconditional love ever again.

He will separate himself from the rest of the world, build a wall so high no one will ever be able to jump over it. 

No one will hurt him again, because you can’t hurt the rational mind, you can only hurt an emotional heart.

Today

“I haven’t cried since.” Ethan was now full on sobbing. “Until I met you, that is.” 

She pulled him as close as humanly possible and enveloped him in a tight hug, with his head resting upon the crook of her neck. Hot tears streamed down his cheeks abundantly.

The older doctor was afraid that once he’d start, he’d never stop crying. All his shattered dreams, his sleepless nights, silent prayers, fake smiles, they all joined forces and attacked him with all their might. Had it not been for her hard grip, he might’ve fallen on his knees. How this petite girl found so much strength was a mystery to him, but he’d never been more grateful. 

She kept rubbing soothing circles on his back and neck. It made her feel so unspeakably sad that the man she loved had to carry this unimaginable burden throughout his whole life. And as much as it sucked, she was happy that from now on, they could carry this burden together. Although he didn’t say anything, Ethan must have agreed, as she felt the tension slowly leaving his shoulders. They stood there in the freezing cold for what felt like forever. But neither of them seemed to mind, because they were in their tiny little bubble, impenetrable, where no one could hurt them.

Finally, the older doctor broke the silence.

“Let’s go. You must be freezing.” 

“I’m about 5 minutes from hypothermia but I should be fine. I know a great doctor.” 

“Well, one of the most important principles of modern medicine is ‘prevent, not cure.’ Plus, I think someone has really missed you.”

———

“OMG Jenner st—“

Before she was ready to finish the sentence, she was already on the floor, laughing like a maniac. 

“You will be the death of me, Jenner.”

I’ll treat that as a compliment, Vic. But Christmas treats first, chatting later, lady!  

That’s how she thought the conversation went in the dog's head. Ethan helped her get up and took her coat. 

“I hope you are still not sleepy.”

“Not really, why?”

“Because I need a companion.”

“Always & with pleasure, but I assume you mean something else right now?”

“You minx. I want you to sit down comfortably, I’ll pour you a glass of wine. You can watch one of your favourite Christmas movies or play Christmas songs - whatever your heart desires.”

“Who are you and have you eaten my own Mr Grinch, Christmas-friendly creature?”

“I just need you to sit here whilst I’ll be working. Now go and get changed.” 

She obeyed quickly, which she always did when he used his commanding doctor voice on her. Whilst changing into leggings and a hoodie, some weird noises reached her ears, clearly coming from the living room. When Vicky came back, a glass of white wine sat on the coffee table. But that’s not what surprised her.

The 37-year old diagnostician was tangled in Christmas lights and so was Jenner, who thought his master was playing some sort of game with him and kept jumping around Ethan.

“What are you doing?”

“Well…since, because of me, you had to call off Christmas, I’m reinstating it. I will take all the decorations out while you’ll be sitting here doing nothing, maybe apart from instructing me on how to do it right. Does this sound like a fair punishment?”

“Only if you let me record this and post it on Pictagram.”

“Don’t cross the line, Valentine.”

“Ethan Ramsey, king of rhymes! Fine, I suppose I can still die happy knowing I’ve instilled the Christmas spirit into you.”

“Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to actually dump you in the forest…”

“Talk to the hand, Gramps!”

 ---------

Christmas Day

Christmas mornings were always rushed and crazy at the Valentine household. Although Vicky loved Christmas in her family home, she didn’t know how much she actually enjoyed the lazy, easy Christmas mornings until she was able to experience it. And she couldn’t be more content that it was with Ethan.

Mercifully, he let her sleep until 9am (obviously, he wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t mumble something about her sleeping too long and how she was able to function like this, but she completely ignored the remarks) and then brought her breakfast to bed, which she consumed in its entirety, with a little help from Jenner. The most important meal of the day had been delivered with a complimentary kiss, which was her favourite part.

“Ethan!” She shouted from the bedroom, not quite ready to leave the comfort of his bed. The older doctor left her with the food and went to prepare them both a cup of coffee.

“Jesus Christ woman, you’re so loud I’m starting to consider getting rid of my stereo.”

“Oh, it didn’t seem to bother you last night.” She winked at him and he grinned involuntarily. How was it possible that she was in possession of his facial expressions too?

“Anyway, can you please remind me what time we have to be there tonight?”

“Be where tonight?”

“Naveen’s Christmas Party.”

“We’re not going.”

“Yes, we are.”

“No, we are not.” 

“Ok, let me rephrase this: me and my unearthly seductive dress are definitely in attendance. If you and Your Royal Grumpiness wish to stay home, be my guests.”

“You don’t play fair.”

“All’s fair in love and war.”

“You know how much I hate rubbing shoulders with idiots in bowties.”

“I do, but let me offer some consolation. This time, you don’t have to do this, because we are not raising any donations. Also, we can laugh at those idiots together and if either of us is stuck in a pointless conversation, the other can always rescue them.”

He couldn’t argue with her logic, instead pulling her close against his chest and kissing the top of her head.

Later this evening 

“V, how much longer until you are ready?” Ethan was growing impatient. He hated waiting and just couldn’t understand what took her so long. He was convinced that even wearing a garbage bag, she’d be the most stunning woman in the room.

“Ethan, nothing has changed since you’ve asked me 5 minutes ago.”

“Fine, but don’t be surprised if I leave without you.” 

“No you won’t. But for someone who didn’t want to go at all not longer than 8 hours ago you are quite eager now. Call me an influencer.”

“I’ll call you whatever you want if this means we can leave soon. The sooner we leave, the sooner we can come back.”

“Whatever I want? Bad move Ramsey, bad move.” 

“I’ll sho—“

He turned around and the words got stuck in his throat at the sight unveiling in front of him. She looked like a freaking goddess, who decided to descend from Mount Olympus and grace the mortals with her presence.

“You were saying?”

“I..I… you..well..” For a man so educated he now sounded less articulate than a toddler. To make things worse, a certain body part painfully reminded him that behind the facade of accomplishments, he was still a primate. 

“Ethan, could you stop talking so much? I can’t hear my own thoughts.” She laughed and it was so infectious that he couldn’t help but smile. 

She decided to wear a long, black gown, with a thigh high split showing her slim, tanned legs that he was a total sucker for. The ensemble was complimented by crystal embellished sandals and glamorous drop earrings. 

“I’ve never seen anyone whose insides matched their outsides so accurately. To me, you are perfect.”

Her heart stopped and she felt butterflies waltzing through her stomach. No matter how many times Ethan complimented her, she always felt like Cupid punched her right in the face. And she hoped the feeling would never fade or disappear.

“So you watched Love Actually with me yesterday.”

“Watched is an overstatement. I might have peeked a few times.” Ethan cleared his throat. “Can we go now?”

“Absolutely not. Did the Edenbrook gala not teach you that if you need to attend an event you are not particularly excited about, you shouldn’t go sober?”

“I suppose you have a point here. One drink.”

“Three.”

“Two.”

“Deal! Pleasure doing business with you, Dr Ramsey.” 

Ethan poured them both a glass of his best scotch. Before she was able to take a sip, he stopped her with his hand. “I’d like to propose a toast.”

“Fire away.”

“To curing the incurable. In medicine and in life.” He sent her a sweet, genuine smile that made her heart beat ten times faster.

Then, they made some bets about what’s going to happen during this year’s party, who’s going to get so wasted that they will be forced to perform a walk of shame for months to come. For the whole time, the younger doctor couldn’t shake the feeling that he is studying her.

“What is it? And don’t tell me it’s nothing, I’ve spent too much time with you for my observation skills not to improve insanely. Like it or not, you created a monster.”

“I like to think of it as making the world a better place… nevertheless, I’m impressed, Dr Valentine. For a 3rd year resident your skills are exquisite.” 

She put her hand on her heart and smiled. All the compliments she’s ever received in her life faded in comparison to one from Ethan Ramsey. Her high school hero, her inspiration and she still couldn’t quite believe it, the man she was now sharing her life with. 

“Now, if you’ll allow me, I must order a cab now, otherwise I may lose a battle soon.”

“What battle?”

Ethan looked at her, lust flooding from his eyes. He quickly stepped behind her and gripped her waist, then leaned into her ear, catching it ever so gently with his lips. This alone was enough for her knees to give out and she was never more grateful for the kitchen island and the fact she was holding onto it for dear life. But he didn’t stop there. He whispered into her ear and no other sounds in the world could compare to the symphony of his voice, dripping with desire.

“The one in my mind, between my rational mind and my primal desire, urging me to rip off this dress and devour you right now.”

Goosebumps spread across her body, a painful reminder of the fact that maybe her mind and mouth could lie to Ethan, but her body couldn’t. Damn it.

She knew it was a matter of milliseconds before she’d be unable to make a rational decision, so she quickly slipped from Ethan’s grip and whispered: “You should order it now then.” Then, she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“Oh, you’re gonna make me work for it, aren’t you?”

“Well, that’s only part of the reason. The other, bigger part is that I just really, really want to show up at this party with my insanely hot boyfriend by my side, without finally having to hide and pretend. Unless…he’s ashamed of me.” 

“Vic, there are a lot of things in my life that have ‘shame’ and ‘you’ in one sentence. I’m ashamed of running away from you to Amazon. I’m ashamed of denying my feelings for so long. I’m ashamed of hurting you, more than once. But to have you by my side, to finally call you mine? That’s my greatest pride. Now, shall we?” He offered her a wide smile and his arm.

“You asshole. First, you try to seduce me and then you make me cry. Let’s go then, Naveen is going to kill us. I promised we’re only gonna be fashionably late.”

———————

The party was already bustling when they arrived, the room filled with chatter of many guests in attendance. The event was Naveen’s pride and a tribute to his many years as one of the most important figures in today’s medicine. It was almost like Elton John’s Oscars after party - everyone wanted to be there. Being there made Vicky feel special, but more than that, uneasy - she was still just a resident and somehow felt like she didn’t belong there. At least, not yet.

In the background, the string quartet played classical versions of popular songs and carols. The venue was impressive, located within one of Boston’s most prestigious hotels, whose owner was Naveen’s - obviously - long time friend. 

The second Dr Banerji spotted them, he practically ran in their direction, almost bumping into one of the guests.

“Well well, if this isn’t my favourite pair of doctors. Dr Valentine, you look like you walked out of one of Botticelli’s paintings.”

“Enough with the formalities. I’m so happy to see you, Naveen! Merry Christmas.” She hugged the old doctor tightly and although initially surprised by this display of affection, he instantly relaxed and returned the hug.

“Merry Christmas, my dear.” 

“It’s quite something, this party of yours Naveen. You’ve outdone yourself.”

“Why, thank you. You know what my favourite part is?” He locked arms with the younger doctor and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “This party satiates my hunger for gossip for months to come. And I’m pretty sure this evening will be, for many reasons, unforgettable. Enjoy your evening, my friends, I shall see you around.” 

Naveen winked at Vicky and Ethan felt like there was some sort of unspoken agreement between them, one that he wasn’t a part of.

“What was that about?”

“What was what about?”

“I know you and I know Naveen. Something is off here.” 

“Ethan Ramsey, are you jealous? FYI, I don’t fancy older men. Oh no, wait. I totally do.” She was trying really hard to stay serious, but failed miserably.

“Very funny, Valentine.”

“Sorry Gramps. This one you were totally asking for.”

“I’m gonna go get us some real drinks, I need to hydrate myself heavily if I’m to survive the evening.”

“Don’t cloud your judgement too much, Ethan. You may need it.” 

Maybe he was imagining the whole exchanging looks thing between Vicky and Naveen. But now he was certain she’s hiding something. And he intended to find out what it is or he was not Dr Ethan Ramsey. 

After he fetched them the drinks, they found their seats and soon Naveen made his annual speech, summarising the whole year and thanking tons of people. Vicky loved experiencing Naveen as a speaker, he didn’t have Ethan’s commanding presence, but his years of experience and sincerity in his voice made everyone listen with absolute silence.

He then joined them at the table. Of course he sat us with him, Ethan thought.

“Naveen, if you think I’m going to be your source of hospital gossip, think again.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. We don’t spend as much time in the hospital together and I miss my dear friends.”

Before he was able to respond, Vicky pinched his thigh under the table and sent him a murderous look. 

“We miss you too, Naveen. Now, why don’t you two catch up properly, whilst I’m gonna go and do my round of talks, there are a couple of people I wanted to chat with.”

“Sure, feed me to the lions, Vic.”

“When have you become such a drama queen, Ethan? If I wanted to feed you to the lions, you’d be standing over there.” She pointed her finger to the corner of the room, where some big pharma executives were enjoying themselves. She waved friendly in their direction, and they responded in kind.

“Alright gentlemen, I need to run before they catch me.”  

Before she turned around, her and Naveen shared meaningful looks, but before Ethan had a chance to ask, she was already gone. Plus, Naveen changed the subject and the two immersed themselves in a very interesting conversation, which reminded Ethan how much he liked his mentor, not as a doctor, but genuinely as a human being. This made him one of a few people Ethan truly liked.

Dr Ramsey was one of those people who, when they were focused - whether on the case, on the conversation or on watching an opera - dedicated their attention entirely to said activity. Which was probably the reason why the sounds coming from the stage took him by surprise. He didn’t realise that the string quartet had been replaced by a group of young people, who started playing more lively. 

No longer than 30 seconds later, someone started singing, but the voice was not coming from the stage. It was coming from behind. Suddenly, all the guests turned their heads around as one. 

The snow's coming down

I'm watching it fall

Lots of people around

Baby please come home

The angelic voice belonged to a beautiful girl in a black gown. She sat on a bar stool, side-facing everyone. Suddenly, she jumped from the seat and started walking towards the stage, each step sensual.

The church bells in town

All ringing in song

Full of happy sounds

Baby please come home

Ethan must have looked like an absolute idiot, because he sat there gaping like a fish.

They're singing "Deck The Halls"

But it's not like Christmas at all

'Cause I remember when you were here

And all the fun we had last year

Once on the stage, she owned both the stage and the crowd. Some people started dancing, others clapped to the rhythm and sang with her. When she finished and took a bow, the audience applauded her generously. 

“Good evening everyone. I’m Vicky and I’m a doctor at Edenbrook Hospital. Thank you for organising this amazing event, Naveen, and thanks for having me. And now, please meet these amazing musicians, whom I have the honour of calling my friends. Back in high school we formed a band, which we called Valentine’s Day… that was a very accurate name on many levels.” She chuckled and the crowd followed. 

“You are looking at people who never gave up on their dreams and now play in some amazing venues. I couldn’t be more proud of them. It would have been the same for me, most likely, if it wasn’t for a book, which I’m sure a lot of you ladies and gentlemen are familiar with. It’s called Diagnostics Principles. After I read it, nothing was the same. And here I am, all these years later, getting covered in blood and sweat almost every day. But today, I can at least bask in the glory of the amazing people standing here with me.”  

“I’d like to dedicate this next song to the author of the above mentioned book. He changed my life in more ways than he can realise. And although I promised him we will not exchange any Christmas presents, I haven’t spent any money on this one, so technically it doesn’t count, right?” She earned another amused reaction from the crowd.

“It’s my favourite Christmas song and I’m so honoured to be able to sing it for you.”

The subtle sounds of a piano reverberated in the room and she started singing, her voice pure and powerful.

O Holy night

The stars are brightly shining

It is the night of our dear Savior's birth

Ethan couldn’t move or breathe. He just stared, completely transfixed. 

Long lay the world in sin and error pining

'Til He appears and the soul felt its worth

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn

To hear her singing was one thing. To feel all the things the act was doing to him, was completely different. With every sound produced by her vocal cords, a new, overwhelming sensation was born inside of him.

Fall on your knees

O hear the Angel voices

O night divine

O night when Christ was born

O night divine

O night

Oh night divine

Their eyes locked and she sent him a look so full of affection that he felt a warm tear flowing down his cheek. 

For him, it was anything but watching a performance. It was a spiritual experience. Towards the end of the song, she hit the notes so high, that he couldn’t help but look around the room. Everyone was in awe of her. And he was never prouder to call her “his”.

After the last bits of instruments resonated, the guests gave her a standing ovation. Ethan clapped his hands so hard that they hurt. He even whistled on his fingers which he hasn’t done since high school. To hell with it, he thought. 

And then he ran, knowing that in a second he will not be able to squeeze through the crowd of admirers. He scooped her in his arms and kissed her with so much passion that she felt dizzy.

“Wow, that was different.”

“What do you mean?”

“The kiss, it felt different.”

“There are so many things I want to say right now, but I can’t do it here. How much longer do we have to stay?”

“I promised the guys I will sing a couple more songs with them and then I wanted to introduce you and have a drink together. After that, we’re free to go.”

“Deal.”

——

“My feet are killing me. I don’t know how I survived in those heels, but I’m walking barefoot for the next 2 days.” 

“How fitting since I’m not going to let you out of this apartment until we have to go back to work.”

“I’m gonna go get changed in my PJ’s”

“Ah, not that soon.” Ethan said with a devilish smile and then approached her, reaching for her hand. “May I have this dance?”

“Although I’m tempted to say no to Dr Ramsey just to prove a point, I could never say no to Ethan.” She took a bow and gave him her hand.

“Lucky me. I just wanted to dance with you away from the prying eyes. For the whole evening everyone stared at you. I’m a selfish man and I was counting the minutes until I have the view all to myself.”

The sounds of Something by The Beatles started seeping from a glamorous gramophone.

“The Beatles? I didn’t take you for the type who’d listen to them.”

“Frank Sinatra christened this song the ‘greatest love song ever written.’ And who am I to argue with him?”

For a moment they swayed in silence, cheek to cheek. Then, the older doctor leaned back and looked her straight in the eye.

“So, you are not great at keeping promises, are you?” He mumbled playfully. 

“You mean the “let’s not exchange gifts” thing? I stand by what I said earlier, I haven’t spent a dime on it, so it doesn’t count.”

“It’s funny that you don’t even begin to realise how wrong you are.” He was very serious but there was a rare gentleness in his voice. “First of all, you mentioned you had a band in high school and that you sang but you never told me that you practically traded being a music star for being a doctor.” She blushed shyly at the compliment.

“Secondly, when you sang, I just couldn’t take my eyes off of you. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard and I consider myself an audiophile.”

“Coming from you, this is officially the biggest praise ever. I will have this printed and framed. You may even get an autograph if you play your cards right.”

“Shut up, I haven’t finished. You can ruin the moment later.” Ethan playfully swatted her arm. 

“With you, I am discovering parts of myself I never knew existed. And I’m strangely content with this. So, to sum up, all of the above makes me feel very guilty that I didn’t get you anything.”

“Ethan, you don’t have to give me anything. But it’s funny you said that, because you don’t even begin to realise how wrong you are.” She was proud of herself for being able to use his own words as a counterargument. 

“Actually, you gave me the biggest gift yesterday: a real part of you. I’m guessing, actually it’s more than a guess, that this is not something you shared with many people.”

“I haven’t shared this with anyone.”

“And that’s the biggest gift I could ever ask for. I want to be the person who helps you carry the cross, no matter how heavy it is.”

He pressed her even tighter against his chest and rested his chin on her head. But he felt the need to express all the other things his words couldn’t, so he gently lifted her chin and pressed his lips to hers. She tasted and smelled divine. On a very basic level, she smelled like coconut and mango. 

To him, she smelled like spring, summer, autumn and winter. Like a promise of sun after the storm. Like home. Ethan finally found his home, his safe haven.

The kiss made her feel dizzy again and then she remembered.

“So, the kiss. It feels different. Why?” She looked at him so innocently it almost made him sweat. Ethan cupped her cheek as if he was holding the most precious thing in his palm… and for him, he was.

 “When you were singing for me, I made a promise. From now on, whenever I kiss you, I want to make it feel like it’s the last time, but also a promise of the million more kisses we will share. Merry Christmas, Vicky.”

“Merry Christmas, Ethan.”

***************************

If you made it this far, from the bottom of my heart - thank you & you are awesome! I wish you all the best in 2021, let’s hope it’s a better year for us all :)

Tag list: @genevievemd | @terrm9 | @starrystarrytrouble | @danijimenezv | @mercury84choices | @maurine07 | @gryffindordaughterofathena | @jamespotterthefirst | @justanotherrookie | @alwaysmychoices | @takeharryandgo | @beckaroo | @lucy-268 | @aarisa-frost | @openheartfanfics | @caseyvalentineramsey | @brooks-eden | @heauxplesslydevoted | @iemcpbchoices | @lovingramsey​ 

[sadaboutniall]

Without Fear

masterlist | tag | wattpad

sorry I suck at updating. happy valentine’s day, here’s a new chapter!! 💕💕 have a lovely valentine’s 

Chapter Eight. May.

When all of this is over, I; Love me like there ain’t another day, lead with the heart, ain’t that the only way? Keep thinking ‘bout how much I changed today.

It’s surprisingly easy, then, for Niall and Lu to figure things out. It’s easy to fall into the routine of two people who can’t get enough of each other—for Niall to swing by the cafe every day after work, and for Lu to clear her weekends to watch Niall coach. They have dinner together more often than not, Ruairí sleeping at Niall’s feet while he sits at Luna’s kitchen table. They kiss on the couch and fuck on a wool blanket in front of the fireplace, Niall’s lips at Luna’s neck, Luna’s fingers clawing down his bare back. Afterwards, she likes to lie with him and trace the scratches with her own fingers, caressing the patterns that mark him as her own. 

Niall tells her that if they don’t keep it on the downlow news of their relationship will travel the island fast, and Luna will never escape questions about it—it makes her think back, so far back, to that night on the roof, when he mentioned how much Inis Mór loves its gossip. She remembers watching him that night, freezing cold on the roof of her unfamiliar flat, wondering what it would be like to truly know Niall. All she’d wanted to do then was reach out and touch his hand, feel his skin against hers—now, she does it nearly every night, without thinking twice. 

It’s one of those nights, in early May, when things change forever. 

She’s lying all over him in her bed, the way they both like to after sex, his hand tangled up in the curly mess of her hair, her fingers tracing patterns against his bare chest, the smattering of chest hair starting to bloom out across his freckled skin. Luna has the windows open and the smell of spring is delicious through the windows, even this late in the night. As a gentle breeze billows her curtains, Niall slides one hand up Luna’s bare back, from where he’d been resting it at the curve of her ass, coming to a gentle stop between her shoulder blades. She glances up at him, feeling his chest rise as he takes a deep breath, ready to speak. 

“Do you remember my mate Conor? From the Paddy’s Day party?” 

As if Luna could forget the way Conor’s brother had cornered her in the kitchen. She nods, and Niall exhales quickly. 

“Well he works at this pub down  in Dublin, helps manage it actually, and he rang me this morning while I was at work to ask if I wanted to come down and do a bit of a gig at the weekend.” His eyes are trained on the ceiling, his chest still as he holds his breath, waiting for Luna’s reaction. 

“Niall,” Luna sits up in bed, and, finally, Niall looks at her. She can’t quite figure out why he looks so nervous. “This is fucking amazing.” 

Niall breathes out a giggle, hands coming up to cover his eyes for a second. When he moves them and looks at Luna again, they’re sparkling wet. “I know it’s nothing big, just a mate doing a favor but I—my first gig in Dublin, Lunes.” 

“It is something big,” Luna doesn’t even try to temper the excitement in her voice—Niall never makes her feel embarrassed about how she reacts to things, not the way Ida, the way her old job, used to. “It’s something massive, actually, Niall. I’m so proud of you.” 

Underneath Luna, Niall flushes beautifully, his pale skin warming up with pride, love, a little embarrassment. Luna feels an impossible swell in her chest, a balloon of pride that she can’t keep from flying away, that makes it impossible to act like the chill, unbothered, cool girl she’d tried so hard to be in New York. Instead, she cups Niall’s cheek with her hand, feeling the way his skin burns up under her fingertips, and leans in for a kiss. 

-- 

And so, Luna takes her very first trip to Dublin. 

Niall can’t wrap his head around it, the fact that Luna’s been living on Inis Mór all this time and has never been off the island—not even to Galway, the closest mainland city—and Luna can’t quite figure out how to explain to him that nothing off the island is of interest to her when the island has him. Instead, she tells him it’s all for the best, anyway, that he’ll be the best tour guide or her first foray into the rest of Ireland. He smiles, and  wraps his arms around her middle on the ferry over to Galway, his body sheltering her from the violent wind and the bitter cold. Spring is tantalizing in the air, Luna can smell it in her every breath, but winter clings on nonetheless, biting and threatening. 

On the train ride from Galway to Dublin, Luna and Niall sit across from each other, Niall’s guitar at pride of place in the seat next to him. Niall takes the seat travelling backwards,  so Luna can get a proper view to  watch out the window as the Irish countryside blows past her, a blur of impossible green and infinite horizon. He falls asleep somewhere near Mullingar, in the middle of the country, and Luna finds herself watching him more than the passing landscape—the way his eyelashes cast shadows on his cheeks, the tangle of freckles on his neck, the gentle parting of his lips, the constant, comforting rise and fall of his chest as he dreams. 

They arrive in Dublin late that night, the city illuminated by golden street lights and car headlights in a way the island never is, and as they board the Luas on their way to Conor’s flat Luna finds that she’s not taking in the sights around her, but staring instead at the sky above, squinting, strangely desperate to catch a glimpse of any of the stars that make the Inis Mór nights so bright. 

All she can see are lights from planes, taking their passengers far away.

— 

In the morning, Luna wakes up to the sound of Niall’s laughter. She’s on the air mattress in Conor’s living room, where she and Niall had fallen asleep the night before, and she can tell from the sound of his laugh that Niall’s only in the kitchen, a room away, chatting with Conor. But for some reason, it feels like a million miles. 

She stretches out in bed, the air mattress creaking and deflating underneath her, and lets the sounds of the city wake her up, too, so that if she closes her eyes she can pretend this is New York—can feel like she’s back in Williamsburg, Ida next to her, the city bustling below them. As much as she denies it, as much as she loves her life on Inis Mór, Luna can’t shake the fact that there’s a part of her, small it may be, that misses living in a city. But then she hears Niall again, his giggle from the kitchen, and the feeling slips away without a second thought. 

Niall is where she wants to be. 

She pads into the kitchen, the sleeves of Niall’s sweatshirt pulled down over her fingers, and stills in the doorway for a second, the morning’s first smile working its way across her face as she watches Niall and Conor laugh over some video on Conor’s phone, their heads close together so they can both look at the screen. It hits Luna like a pang in the stomach, the fact that Niall is so far away from his friends all the time—the fact that, by staying where he is, he’s losing out on all of this. 

She thinks about herself, too, her early days in New York, before things got so bad. The late nights out with her friends and Ida, crashing at whoever’s apartment was closest to the bar they’d ended the night at, waking up in the afternoon in a pile on the couch, heads throbbing with hangovers and someone, the least hungover usually, standing with her phone out, writing down everyone’s order for the bagel place. Looking at it now, a million miles away, a whole ocean between it all, Luna knows that those moments were the most precious: those exhausted mornings, giggling over Snapchat stories from the night before, splitting bagels so everyone could get at least one bite of every flavor. There was no better feeling than that—nothing more intimate than the morning after the night before. 

Standing in the doorway of Conor’s flat, Luna realizes that Niall hasn’t had the chance to have any of those mornings. 

He hasn’t let himself. 

“Hey, petal. You’re up!”

Luna shakes herself out of her thoughts, eyes focusing on Niall, who’s looking at her with a smile on his face that makes her heart flip the same way it did back in January, when he walked into the cafe for the first time, wind blown and nervous. “We made a fry up, I put yours in the oven to keep it warm.”

“Thank you,” she tells him, her voice coming out a little croaky from lack of use. “That’s nice of you.”

“Wasn’t gonna leave you starving,” Niall smiles, standing up and making his way over to the coffee pot. “Sit down, lover, I’ll get your coffee ready too.” 

— 

Despite Luna’s dreams of spending the afternoon wandering around the city hand in hand with Niall, she finds that they hardly have any time to sightsee before they find themselves packed into the pub, Niall sitting next to her on a barstool, jiggling his leg up and down anxiously. It feels to Luna like there are more people in this pub alone than on the entire island of Inis Mór. She puts her hand on Niall’s knee, and feels him calm down, just a notch. 

She’s only on her second Guinness (and Niall’s barely managed to get halfway through his first), but it’s been a long time since Luna’s been drunk in a bar, and she can feel the effects of it—the alcohol coursing through her in a way it only does when you’re surrounded by other drunk people, the heady smell of the bar adding to her intoxication. She’s overwhelmed, like she knew she would be, but it’s not as bad as she anticipated—not scary and claustrophobic, but fun, something new and different and familiar, all at the same time. She drops her head onto Niall’s shoulder and closes her eyes, safe and sure here, with him by her side. 

— 

Niall gives, without a doubt, the best performance Luna has ever borne witness to. 

He starts playing to a loud, rowdy, packed pub, his voice barely carrying over the sounds of friends chatting to one another, their laughter flitting across the room—but by the time he’s three songs in he’s got the whole place captivated, all eyes on him, smiles on faces and pints raised in the air. By song five people are shouting out requests and Niall’s taking them, slinging a few jokes in between songs, and Luna could swear her heart has never felt so swollen, her stomach never so full with butterflies.  

It’s midway through his set, when Niall makes the ground fall out underneath Luna’s feet. 

“I wasn’t planning on doing this tonight,” he says into the microphone, “because I wasn’t sure anyone would be interested, but you lot seem like a kind enough audience. I wrote this tune myself, if you don’t mind me playing it? It’s called This Town.” 

— 

This Town is about Cormac. Luna can tell from the first lyric. It plays in her head on repeat for the rest of the night—through the rest of Niall’s set, through the heart-stopping smile on his face when he sits back down next to her afterward, through the unfathomable hour of strangers coming up to them and offering to buy Niall a pint for his performance, clapping him on the back and letting him know how much they enjoyed listening. It plays on repeat while Luna tells Niall how proud she is of him, leaning in for a kiss and tasting the Guinness on his lips, the lyrics on his tongue. It plays on repeat through the end of the night, too, Niall helping Conor put away some of the glasses after they lock up, Luna feeling like she’s watching herself through someone else’s eyes, spilling beer everywhere when she tries to help. 

Niall cleans up her mess without a single complaint, but Luna can’t stop feeling sick to her stomach. 

This Town still plays in her mind late that night, when Niall goes down on her in Conor’s living room, the air mattress rocking below them, and it plays in her mind the next morning, when they finally do walk hand in hand through Dublin, Niall stopping for selfies every time they pass a tourist spot. It plays on her mind when they board a train to Galway in the early afternoon, and, still, on the ferry back to Inis Mór late, late that night. Niall drives her home and they make out in the car for ages, his hands up under her sweater, windows open to let the spring air in. It smells like Niall and newness—the coming warmth, the longer days, the hope and life and breath that spring brings to everything. 

It smells, to Luna, like everything thawing away. 

— 

Luna’s grateful for work on Monday, the constant orders and customers a distraction from the feelings that she knows are out of line. Niall adores her, she tells herself as she brings Mr. O’Keefe his usual coffee, a song is just a song, and nothing more. 

But it’s hard to shake, Niall’s voice, “over and over, the only truth, everything comes back to you.” For so long, Luna realizes, Niall’s voice has been something special for her—something she hears in her cafe, in her bedroom, in her bathroom when the shower is on. Niall’s voice is the soundtrack to her washing dishes, to her curled up on the sofa reading while he plays guitar across the room. It’s the soundtrack to long car rides in the middle of the night, the moon and stars illuminating the cliffs ahead just for them. It’s the soundtrack to them, to Niall and Luna, and it hurts her more than she thought it would—more than it should—to realize that she has to share that with the rest of the world. 

When Niall bustles into the cafe that evening, Luna can’t hide her excitement. It feels like a million years, a million miles, since last night, when he pulled her in for one more kiss before driving home to his mom’s house. His cheeks are redder than usual when he comes up to the counter, despite the warm spring day outside. 

“Hiya,” Luna leans over the counter for a kiss, her anxieties melting a little when Niall’s lips meet hers. “You alright?”

“Lu,” Niall’s breathless, handing his phone to Luna across the counter. “Look at this.” 

She glances down at his phone, open to the YouTube app, and her hands start to shake before Niall speaks. She knows exactly what’s happening—it used to be her job, to help make things like this happen. 

“Someone recorded my gig down in Dublin,” he’s telling her, his voice so distant that it sounds muffled, distorted, in Luna’s ears. “It has a million views on YouTube, Lu. It’s—I’m going viral. People are asking if it’s on Spotify, I even had to take my Instagram page off private. Conor says I should come back down for another gig, people have been asking after me. I—Lu. I think we made it.”

####

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[frauleinjustice]

Saimatsu Valentines Day Prompt!

Heeey, my good peoples! Happy Valentines Day!! ♥ Naturally, I wanted to write a cute little oneshot for it~ This time: with my saimatsu babies!! I just thought it would be cute to write something for them for once, hehe...

Summary: For Valentines Day, Kaede wanted to make homemade chocolates for her crush, Shuichi. But since she normally never cooks, she had Maki assist her in making chocolates that actually come out good. And not only will she want to give him romantic chocolates, but: finally confess how she feels, too...

So yeah, I hope you all will enjoy! And as always, thank you so much in advanced if you decide to give it a read. May you all have a nice day, and indulge in some chocolatey treats, regardless if you celebrate today or not! 🍫

"What the hell, Akamatsu." Was the immediate reaction of Maki once she saw the disaster of a kitchen before her very eyes. Splotches of ingredients stained the counter, bowls messily stacked upon each other, and the pot Kaede had used to whisk everything together... was completely burnt at the bottom. And the practice chocolates she had made... looked burnt and greatly misshapen.

"H-Hahah....haaah....." Is the only thing the pianist can utter in response, before she gives several bows. "S-Sorry! I tried to make them on my own, I-I really did! But it uh... diiidn't go exactly well..." She laughs weakly, with even her apron looking like a mess. Tomorrow was Valentine’s Day: the reason Kaede had even attempted to try making chocolates in the first place. While she normally would buy chocolates for her friends... this time, she wanted to actually make them for a very special person. That person being: Saihara Shuichi. To pretty much everyone else in their class-aside from the very boy himself, funnily enough-it was obvious as day Kaede had a big crush on the detective. Not only did she want to give him chocolates that were homemade... but ones that were supposed to be romantic. Even if the thought of giving the guy she likes chocolates was completely nerve-wrecking, not only knowing if he’d like romantic chocolates from her or if he’ll even realize they’re supposed to be romantic: she wanted to believe it would go well, shaking her head of the thoughts of it going badly.

Though... the progress of actually trying to make chocolates, as Maki could see: was not exactly going well at all. Kaede normally isn't allowed to cook, as to avoid the risk of her injuring her fingers, due to being a pianist. It was times like these where she really wished she could cook, since there was no way she was going to give Shuichi these badly made attempts. That's why Maki was here: in a near desperate plea, Kaede called her to ask her to come to her house so she could help her out. Reluctantly, the "child caregiver" gave in and came over after enough begging, since actually she felt a bit bad for Kaede. Sighing, she just shakes her head and goes to tie her hair up in a single high ponytail. "Yeah, I can see that. Fine, I'll help you: but you're still going to be doing most of the work. It's for Saihara, after all."

"Yes!!" She nods, pumping her fists. "All you have to do is watch my progress, make sure I don't screw up! Thanks once again in advance for this!" 

A small mumble in response, Maki goes to grab some of the used dishes. "Let's clean up first and then grab a clean apron."

"O-Okay..!" Once the girls take a moment to clean the counter and wash the dishes, Kaede places her stained apron in a laundry basket, before grabbing a clean one, along with giving Maki one. They start setting up the bowls, kitchen tools, and pot they'll need. Kaede also had a silicone heart mold tray she'll use, which makes Maki have to wonder how she still managed to mess up the shapes of them, anyway. As they're measuring out the ingredients, Kaede shows Maki the recipe for homemade chocolates she had been using. "And then for an extra ingredient, I wanted to add espresso powder... so they can be espresso flavored dark chocolates! Since Saihara-kun likes coffee and all...y-you think he'll like it?"

"...Probably." Is her nonchalant answer before she adds:  "I mean... I'm sure he will, I guess. Saihara is cheesy enough to like whatever you'd make him, anyway. ���Because Akamatsu-san made it!’ or whatever he’d say..." Her imitation of Shuichi, and the crack of a smirk on her face, made it obvious she was joking.

"Heheh.... yeah, I could see him saying that, too. Then, yeah: I’m sure he’ll probably like it, then! Okay, so first things first: melting the coconut oil in the pot!" A nod from Maki to indicate her to go ahead, she watches Kaede head over to the pot to start emptying the bowl of coconut oil into the pot... after cracking the fire up way too high. 

".........." Immediately, Maki goes over to turn the fire down to a much lower level.  "Don't have the fire up so high, you'll burn the coconut oil."

"O-Oh...!" Blinking in surprise, she turns to Maki and gives a flustered nod. “Thank you, sorry!" Sighing, Maki makes sure to keep a close eye on her as she stirs the gradually melting oil. Once it is completely melted, Kaede transfers it to a mixing bowl. It would now be time to add the  cocoa powder, honey, vanilla, and sea salt to the mixture, along with the additional flavor of espresso powder. 

"Don't whisk it so hard, and not so fast, either. You're trying to make sure all the ingredients are incorporated together, not making splotches fly everywhere."

"R-Right...!" Since that was the exact mistake Kaede made with the practice chocolates. This time, she was whisking at a much better speed and pace, avoiding making a big mess and making her arm necessarily more sore. "This is already coming out a million times better than before. You really know your stuff, Harukawa-san!" She chimes, a smile widening on her face. "Did you already make some, yourself? Fooor..." Her smile turns more mischievous. "Momota-kun?"

"!?" As if hitting the nail on the head, Maki's face quickly turns red as she tries giving an intimidating glare to Kaede. "D...Do you want to die? Why would I want to give chocolates t-to that idiot... now don't say such stupid things..."

"Hahah, sorry, sorry! I was just teasing you!" Though that reaction told Kaede everything. She didn't want to risk teasing Maki too much, though, so she refrains from saying that, and instead gives her a softer smile. "Really though... thank you. I would've been so hopeless without you!"

"Hmph...." Pouting, she begins stroking her ponytail. "...Don't worry about it. Maybe next time you won't be such a disaster at it." Despite her blunt words, there wasn't actual annoyance in her voice. Maki truly didn't mind helping Kaede out. Even if she found the girl a bit much and annoying at times: she wasn't against considering her a friend. That, and she knows Shuichi feels the same way for Kaede. He was one of her closest friends, alongside Kaito, and Kaede to a lesser extent: so she wanted this to go well for them both, hence why she was secretly happy to help. 

Chortling in response, Kaede continues mixing until the chocolate mixture is fully incorporated with no lumps left. She carefully pours the mixture in the silicone mold before placing them in the freezer. "Alright, there we go! Can't wait to see how they'll look..!" In the meantime while the chocolates begin to harden, Kaede and Maki take that time to clean up the kitchen. Around half an hour later, Kaede checks on the chocolates. "Ohhh...!" By then, they had hardened. She takes the tray out of the freezer and sets it on the counter. Popping a chocolate heart out, she turns it around to give it a good look. The chocolate wasn't misshapen, lumpy, burnt... much better than how Kaede's first batch came out. "Harukawa-san, look! They came out perfectly! We did it!!" She cheers, putting it back in its slot before cupping Maki's hands. 

"Ah, hey-!" Flinching in surprise from the sudden contact, she just rolls her eyes and sighs. "Yeah, yeah... though it was mostly just you, Akamatsu. I just made sure you wouldn't make the kitchen look like a disaster, again."

"Ahaha... well, still! I wouldn't have been able to do this without your help. Thank you so much...! Now I feel even more confident giving these to Saihara-kun tomorrow." Now all she would need to do is pack them in a chocolate box and give them to Shuichi. Nervous excitement was already building up in her for tomorrow. Will it go well? Will he accept her chocolates... and her confession? Kaede was normally not on to think of a worse case scenario, but even she couldn't help the anxious feeling bubbling up in her if everything doesn't go right. "So, ah... wish me luck! H-Heheh..." She nervously rubs the back of her head. "Not to scare myself or anything, but who knows how tomorrow will go, you know...? And if it's alright with you... I'll want to tell you how it goes afterwards, too."

"Well... if that's what you want. I don't mind. Though... don't act like it could possibly go wrong, or whatever. Saihara's never outright said it, but: I bet he's hoping to get chocolates from you. So... yeah: good luck." And for a moment, a hint of a smile appears on Maki's face.

"Harukawa-san...." Smiling warmly, she could feel some of her nervousness seeping away. "That's right... I just have to believe that it will be okay. I'll make sure it does! Thank you so much...! Okay, then I'll be sure to tell you how it goes..!"

With that, Valentines Day arrives the next day. Kaede had told Shuichi to meet her in a quiet area of campus after school this morning, without telling him the exact reason why. While Shuichi was curious, he thankfully didn't persist, much to Kaede's relief. Though her being unusually more nervous around him during class probably gave an obvious hint as to what the reason may be: Shuichi still didn't want to assume anything... even if he's hoping it's for the exact reason Kaede wants to see him.

Once classes were over for the day, Kaede immediately headed to their meeting spot: an area on campus that was a bit off the path, but was quiet with no one really around. She wanted to give him chocolates in a quiet area where no one could be nosy. "Okay... looks like I made it first. Hggh..." Cupping her arm, she can feel the nervousness kicking right back up as she stares down at the ground. ("Come on, Kaede, don't get nervous already.. he hasn't even shown up yet!")

"...san.."

("Like Harukawa-san said: don't like it could possibly go wrong. A-And if even she thinks Saihara-kun may like me back...!")

"...san? Akamatsu-sa...."

She shakes her head, completely unaware of the soft voice from behind calling out to her. ("So come on, be optimistic! It will go well! Just believe in yourself!! When he arrives,  I'll... I'll give him the chocolates, and tell him how I fe-")

"Akamatsu-san!"

Pouting, she swiftly turned around and was about to yell at the person who dares interrupt her- "Geez, what is it, can't you see I'm busy he-?!" Before finally noticing who it was, gasping. "Ah! S-Saihara-kun!!" At his understandably confused reaction, she gives a few frantic bows. "S-Sorry, I didn't notice you there!"

Blinking, he gives a reassuring shake of his head and waves his hand in the air. "A-Ah, it's, um... it's alright. Hi... I'm sorry for taking a moment, I hope I didn't keep you waiting."

"No, no, you're fine! I literally just got here myself, so you're not late. But yeah, hey! Thanks for being willing to do this! I hope it wasn't too sudden a request..."

"Ah, not at all! I don't mind. It seemed like you wanted to tell me something important, so..."

"Y...Yeah..." Before she begins, Kaede takes a quick moment to look around. It was still just them around here, just as she hoped. A soft exhale, she looks back up at the boy. "...Okay, so! You've probably... already guessed why I called you out here, but... still. There's something I... wanted to give you, Saihara-kun. It's in my bag: one moment..." Trying to ignore the increasingly rapid pounding in her heart, Kaede reaches into her backpack to take the box of chocolates out.

"!" Shuichi's eyes widen when he sees it. "Oh! That's...!" He is presented with a heart-shaped chocolate box, with a white bow wrapped around it. 

She bows slightly as she holds the chocolates out to him. "F...For you, Saihara-kun: Happy Valentines Day...! I-I... made them, myself!"

"Ahh? You... made these? For me..?" A soft, surprised gasp leaves his lips as he stares down at the box of chocolates. Shuichi knew the pianist was normally not allowed to cook. So for her to not only give him chocolates, but ones that she made, herself...  "......." A blush starts to creep onto his face. So his prediction was right, after all... he was surprised, but so happy and relieved. "Akamatsu-san... thank you..." Finally, he gently takes the box of chocolates out of her hands. A shy, yet bright smile appears on his lips. "I'm flattered you would want to give me homemade chocolates..! If it's okay, I would love to try them right now."

"Of course…!" Standing back up straight, she smiles bashfully at him, a soft blush on her face. "And yeah, that's totally fine! I hope you'll love them, Saihara-kun...!"

"I'm sure I will, since Akamatsu-san made them, after all! H-Hehe..." 

"Hehe...!" She couldn't help but giggle with him, recalling how Maki said that he would say something just like that. Though it really did make her happy: to hear that Shuichi was confident he was going to like her chocolates. He beckons her to walk over to the nearby tree with them to sit down. Shuichi places the box on his lap before opening it up, an amazed hum leaves his lips when seeing how nice the heart-shaped chocolates look. 

"Ohh… These look very nicely made. Alright, let's try one..." Picking one of the pieces up, Shuichi pops it into his mouth. "Mm..." He takes a moment to savor the flavor, a delighted hum emitting from him. Kaede watches him in anticipation, eagerly yet anxiously awaiting his response. Once he's finished the piece, he looks at Kaede with a smile and an approving nod. "Akamatsu-san, these are so good...! Just as I thought, I love these.” 

"!!!" Seeing he loved it, her eyes light up and a smile widens on her face as she clasps her hands together. "Yay!! I'm so glad to hear that, Saihara-kun! They're espresso flavored dark chocolates.”  She eagerly informs. “I thought, since you like coffee, why not add that additional flavor to them? And Harukawa-san helped me with this, too, since I was a complete disaster trying to make them myself."  She chuckles sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. "So it's honestly thanks to her that these turned out much better than I ever could've made them on my own..."

"Ohh? Espresso flavored, I see... so that's why there was a coffee taste to them. I'm so honored you took that into consideration, Akamatsu-san... they taste absolutely amazing."  He smiles softly, giving an intrigued hum. "Ohh, Harukawa-san did, huh? Haha, that was sweet of her to do. But still, it was mostly your hard work that made the chocolates come out as tasty as they did, yes? So I think you should give yourself some more credit... and say, rather: with her help, they came out even better than they already would have, even if you did make them on your own."

"S...Saihara-kun...." A light blush appears on her cheeks. It was always things like that: the sincere, kind things Shuichi said... that made her fall for the boy in the first place. "Th-Thank you for having so much faith in me like that... makes me very happy to hear."

“Of course..." Shuichi picks up another piece and eats it, savoring it just as much as the first piece. Kaede made these for him.... even if she normally doesn't cook, she went out of her way to make homemade chocolates or him. The more he's reminded of that, the more his cheeks heat up and his heart thumps softly in his chest. And for a moment... "......." He wondered if he should ask this, but decided to go for it, a nervous exhale leaving him before he spoke up. 

"S-Say, um..... Akamatsu-san? I hope this is not an, um... strange question to ask, but: are these....ah....friendship chocolates?"

"!" Kaede's eyes widened in surprise at his question. "Ah...!" Even though she knew it was coming, she didn't expect him to ask so directly like that. "N-No, it's not strange! I'm just surprised you just came out with it, haha. But, um..." Now it was the moment of truth. The nervousness from before was quickly kicking back into high gear. She was going to say it... she was finally going to say how she feels, once she confirms that these chocolates were completely intended to be romantic. Taking a few deep breaths to keep herself calm... she looks back at him and shakes her head. "No: they aren't friendship chocolates. I... when I made these for you, the intention was... romantic. Th-They are... romantic chocolates."

"....!" Shuichi freezes at her clarification. "A...Ah...." He let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. He was nervously anticipating what kind of answer she would give. That part of him hoping so badly that his assumption was wrong. "R...Romantic chocolates?" 

"Yes.... so that's why I wanted to do my best to make sure these chocolates came out great. Since I wanted to make... um.... the guy th-that I... that I like, happy." She chuckles shyly, feeling her cheeks heat up again. "I... really like you, Saihara-kun. U-Um: like, like! Since I have a r-really big crush on you and all, a-and!! Wanted to finally tell you that through these homemade chocolates...!" And then once she finally got that out, she hangs her head low, wanting to hide the only worsening blush on her cheeks. The embarrassment she was feeling over stammering her confession out quicker than she had hoped aside... a big wave of relief washed over her after finally telling the detective how she feels. And now it was time for the most nerve-wrecking part of all: awaiting his response. 

"........." Shuichi just stares at her, too shocked to form an immediate response. His eyes are widened and a deep blush crosses his face. "Ah. A-Ah..." She likes him.... Kaede, the girl he truthfully has been crushing on badly in turn, likes him: like, likes him, as she stated. He could feel his heart bouncing around like crazy in his chest, feeling so overwhelmingly happy right now. He heard exactly what he was hoping so badly to hear: just as much as he was hoping these were not platonic chocolates. "You like...me...? H-Had a crush on...me? Oh..." He stares down at the ground, one hand to his chest as he gives a few deep breaths. Kaede was brave enough to confess her feelings... so he wanted to give her a proper response back.  "....Akamatsu-san." 

She gave two nods in confirmation at his questions. And when he calls her name like that, knowing he wants her to look up at him. "......." Nervous as she is to, she brings herself to slowly lift her head back up.  "S...Saihara-kun."

"S-Sorry, I was honestly at a loss of words for a moment. A-Ahaha..." He chuckles softly, bashfully scratching his cheek.  "I never thought that... you'd feel that way about me. And in all honesty, when I asked you if these were platonic chocolates... I was really hoping you would say no. I-I hope that's not selfish of me. Especially since it…. made me so happy that wasn't the case. Because... if there was anyone I was hoping to get romantic chocolates from... it  was from you."

"!" Kaede perks up at that. "R...Really? You were... hoping they wouldn't be platonic ones? And that... you were hoping they would be from me?"

"Yes..." For a moment, he hesitates when suddenly moving his arm, wondering if he should do it… before he dares to bring his hand towards Kaede’s to rest it gently on top of hers. It makes a soft gasp leave her, Shuichi ready to move his hand away if it was being too forward. But seeing she doesn't move her hand away, nor looks uncomfortable... he keeps it there before continuing. "I wouldn't have cared to get them from anyone else but you. Since.. since I..." Even if he knows she feels the same, he still feels his face heat up. Then with a soft exhale, he tells her: "...I feel the same, Akamatsu-san. I-I... like you, too. And for a long while, I have. So... I'm so happy that you return my feelings." He goes to intertwine their fingers just a bit... before giving her the warmest smile she's ever seen on his face.

"Saihara-kun...!" She feels her face turn redder when he intertwines their fingers together. And to hear it back: that Shuichi returns her feelings as well. "I...you...!" Relief washed over Kaede... before an overwhelming amount of happiness started bubbling in her. And before she knew it, Kaede lunged forward to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug.

"W-Woah...!" Shuichi yelps out in surprise from the sudden hug, his other having quickly secured a grip on the box of chocolates so that they wouldn't fall off his lap. Once he made sure they were secure on his lap, he gave a soft chuckle and shyly wrapped his arms around her to return the hug, cheeks turning a darker shade of red. "Ahaha.... Akamatsu-san..."

"H-Hehehe... sorry, I'm just... so happy! That the guy I like... likes me back!! I was so nervous... but now I'm so relieved!" She laughs, burying her face in his shoulder for a moment to stifle her giggles. The biggest, brightest smile was on her face. He returned her feelings.... he likes her back... The more she processed this, the happier she felt. She couldn't have felt any happier that she took that risk to make these chocolates for him and confess.

Shuichi gives her a soft squeeze in the hold, closing his eyes and just sighs so happily. She felt so nice to hug... he almost didn't want to let go of her. "I'm so happy, too... probably the happiest I've ever been."

"Me too...!" And for a moment they continue hugging like that, Kaede not wanting to leave his warm embrace anytime soon either... but eventually, they break away, Kaede going to sit back down in her spot. "S-So um! I guess that means we're... dating now, huh?"

"Dating..." Even just muttering it makes him flustered. "Hehe... y-yes, I suppose that does mean that, huh? Homemade chocolates from my...g-girlfriend. Thank you so much again..." For a second, he smiles at her... before deciding to lean in and place the softest kiss to her cheek. "I-I ah: hope that was okay to do..."

"!" Kaede uttered a surprised noise at the peck, making her cheeks heat up again before she giggles and nods her head. "O-Of course! You're my...b-boyfriend, after all! H-Hehe..." Humming in content, Kaede gently leans against Shuichi. She feels a gentle breeze brush through them, closing her eyes for a moment to enjoy it. She felt so content, wanting time to just stop for a moment. The guy she likes, she loves: was now hers... and she is his. "Sh...Shuichi-kun. Can I call you that? Um, I've never really been in a relationship before, so sorry if I'm a bit awkward at this at first, but: I promise... I'll be the best girlfriend I can be for you. One that will make you happy... and always make you feel loved."

"Ah..." His heart soars when she calls him by his first name. And hearing just the amount of sincerity in her tone couldn't help but make him chuckle, finding it so cute: finding her so cute...  "You're so sweet.... though you've always been such a caring and loving person who always makes me happy whenever I spend time with you. And... I promise to do the same. R-Relationships are just as new for me, too, but... that just means we’ll be able to experience what one is like, together. I will make sure to be nothing but a great boyfriend to you, too. You deserve to feel just as happy and loved, Akamatsu-san. A-Ah, well.. if you're going to call me 'Shuichi-kun'....th-then: K...Kaede-san..." Even just uttering her first name makes his cheeks red, but felt so nice. 

"Mmhm... please call me Kaede..." She hums, nuzzling her cheek against his shoulder as she goes to wrap both her arms around his arm. "...Shuichi-kun...." She opens her eyes back up halfway. Then turning her head to look up at him, she gives  him a look just spilling with warmth and love. "...I love you..." 

"Kaede-san..." A quiet sigh of awe leaves him when seeing the look she gives. A look that would be reserved just for him. He couldn't feel any luckier... and in turn, he gave her a look and smile just as warm and loving, one hand going to gently cup her cheek.  She loves him... it felt so nice to hear. "...I love you, too. I always will." 

"Hehe... me too...." She nuzzles her cheek against his hand, sighing so happily. "....Shuichi-kun: ....let's kiss...." Kaede slowly leans her head closer to his. "....If that's okay? I really want to..."

"....Of course." He begins to slowly lean in as well, his thumb gently stroking her cheek. "...I'd love that more than anything." 

"I'm glad... Then.... And as their eyes slowly come to a close, shifting slightly so that Shuichi wraps his free arm around Kaede's waist, and Kaede now wraps both her arms around his neck once more... they close the distance in a soft kiss. A soft hum emits from them, loving how nice the other's lips felt. She could taste a hint of the chocolates on his lips as well, which made her muffle a small giggle. Kaede's heart was pounding so hard in her chest, giving his lips several smacks during the kiss. It makes a delighted sigh vibrate through Shuichi, one of his hands proceeding to rub small circles in her back. Her first kiss with her new boyfriend... she wanted to indulge as long as she could before they would have to break away. 

And even once they do, their kiss slowly lingers... before Shuichi dares to take the bold initiative this time and draws her right back into a kiss. She happily welcomes it, feeling her heart bounce even more she feels him press his lips firmer against hers, with Kaede doing the same. One of her hands gets tangled in his hair, slowly combing through the smooth black locks. This kiss is longer, deeper... and full of much more love packed into it. When they break away, they softly pant as they stare lovestruck at each other, both of their faces flushed red. "Th-That... felt nice..."

"Yeah... it really did...." She continues stroking his hair, Shuichi nuzzling his head against her hand as he utters a content hum. "Today... couldn't have gone any better. Not only did you enjoy your chocolates, but now you're my boyfriend, too! Hehehe I can't wait to tell Harukawa-san the great news!"

"Hahaha.... and I guess I'll tell Momota-kun as well. I did wonder why he told me 'Good luck' before I left to come meet you here..." He chuckles. "But yes, I truly did, Kaede-san. Ah!" Picking a piece up, he offers her one. "I know you made these for me, but I would love to enjoy them together with you."

She chuckles at that, not surprised Kaito knew exactly why he had been called to come here by her. Then when he offers her one of the pieces, she blinks in surprise. "Oh! Well if you'd like to: sure, thanks!" She takes the piece, and plops half of it into her mouth. And just to tease him... with the other half sticking out of her mouth, she bops her head forward, gesturing him to come closer while muttering: "Mm, mm!"

"Wha-?!" Face blowing up in red, Shuichi starts flailing his hands. "W-W-Wait a minute, th-that's-!! I-I mean I ah, I'm not saying 'no', b-but-"

"Hehehemmph!" The chocolate stifling her laugh, she finishes it completely before she starts laughing even more. "I-I was just teasing you, Shuichi-kun, hahaha! But were you really going to be up for it? Woah... Shuichi-kun is bolder than I thought!"

"Ah... o-ohh, geez! Kaede-san!!" He huffs, blushing even more in embarrassment as he gives her arm the lightest bap... before he starts breaking into laughter, too. "V...Very funny! Hahah...!"

"Heheh...!" She gives him a playful nudge to his arm, before they continue to enjoy more chocolates together. She still couldn't believe how well today went. With Maki's help, the chocolates came out great, Shuichi loved them... and realizing he loved her too when she confessed. Now she felt silly for having doubts, and couldn't feel anymore grateful that she was just worrying over nothing in the end. She already couldn't wait to get back home and play a song that expresses the amount of happiness and love she feels for the boy next to her. And maybe, she thinks to herself: she'll play it for him one day, too.

[averytinyelephant]

sing our love from the rooftops

Author’s note: This is my response for @tog-valentine-exchange! This response is for @jill-8-7 (who’s art is amazing, go check it out!!) and their artwork. I’m sorry for this being a little late, but hopefully the fic’s good enough to make up for it! My first go at a songfic, but I feel pretty good about how it turned out! Listen to Love Someone by Lukas Graham here. (Also, this can sortof (?) be read as a peek into (epilogue actually, haha) to my fic for Vih and Eevee’s Honey Lavender AU which... has turned out to be quite a monster, so apologies to both of you for taking so long to finish it! I really hope that it’ll blow you away once I’ve finished!!) Fandom: Tower of God (Read the Webtoon here!) Pairing: Khun Aguero Agnis/The Twenty-Fifth Baam Word Count: 2,633

Summary: Khun may be new to relationships, but he knows missing Valentine’s Day with his partner for work is a really shitty thing to do. So he’s planning on making up for it with a surprise that’s sure to sweep Baam right off his feet. Everything’s laid out perfectly, but Baam manages to beat him to the punch anyway.

Khun taps his foot impatiently and checks his watch. Half an hour to go, he thinks to himself. This damn meeting is dragging on like molasses, even though he’s already worked out an arrangement with Shibisu so he can get out of this one earlier.

It’s not that he doesn’t like his job: quite the opposite really, this business is something he’s poured years into building from the ground up. It’s quite simple, even if there are some days that are a little too reminiscent of a childhood he’d rather not think about, and much of it comes with practiced ease now.

No, it’s not that at all, it’s just that his whole life was turned upside down almost two years ago now by a certain man with the brightest golden eyes, and he finds himself looking forward to frivolous, overly sentimental things like Valentine’s Day despite himself. He knows that this meeting is important (there was a reason that he resorted to scheduling it today of all days, after all) and that he has a surprise planned out for his partner to make up for not being able to spend today with him.

Just half an hour more and I’ll be on my way to see him, Khun reasons, trying to force himself to pay attention to this meeting, when they’re interrupted by a knock on the door.

They enter briefly, and it’s a member of security, “Mr. Khun, I need to speak to you privately for just a minute.”

She tells him that someone’s requesting his presence from the ground floor, claiming to be his partner and that they’re incredibly persistent. Khun feels like his eyebrows might be touching his hairline right now and he’s about to dismiss her, that’s impossible, he wants to say, and it wouldn’t be a lie but she goes on to say, “He says his name is Jue Viole Grace.”

And that’s — Khun feels his world stop for a moment. This… this could be a real problem: he’d not even told his closest friends about Baam and had gone to great lengths to make sure their relationship remained private, something untouched by this messy life of constant competition, how could anyone know?

Despite the turmoil in his head, Khun manages to answer, “Thank you very much, though I’ll deal with this personally,” and walks back into the conference room to excuse himself briefly before making his way to the attached balcony. If he remembers right (which he always does), his car is parked on this side of the building and should be readily visible from this balcony. If the imposter wants his attention, he’d either be there or near his car, and there’s no harm in checking from here first, especially since they mostly likely wish him harm.

Peering over the balcony, Khun sees he was right, they’re just by his car and — he has no idea how he knows this, the figure’s much too small from all the way up here to see properly but it just clicks in his head with a terrifyingly overwhelming certainty that this is Baam, he’s staring right at the real thing, Baam’s right here looking up at him and waving excitedly, that’s impossible, how —

His phone’s ringing — no, Baam’s calling him. When he answers, he can’t even mask his shock when he asks, “Baam? How the hell—”

“Sorry to pull you out of work Khun!” he chirps back, not sounding the least bit sorry, “I wanted to surprise you for Valentine’s Day!”

What the fuck.

“But, Baam, you’re supposed to be — You told me you have a gig tonight at Endorsi’s place, it’d be crowded as all hell, and you flew across the country to see me?”

“Yup!” And Baam’s unpacking his guitar.

Wait. He’s unpacking his guitar.

“Are you crazy? You’re going to serenade me right here and now?”

“Oh, great, I was wondering how to explain this. It’s kinda awkward, y’know, I tried phrasing it a few different ways and none of them really clicked. I’m glad I don’t have to—”

“You can’t be serious, I swear, Baam, one of these days—”

“Put your headphones in! You’ll be able to hear me a little more clearly.”

Khun grumbles a bit to himself as he does, determined to express his indignation despite his shock, and Baam only laughs at him.

“Okay, they’re in. You’re so on, by the way.”

Baam just huffs and puts his phone in his pocket, and Khun doesn’t even need to look at his face to know he’s understood.

He waits patiently as Baam tunes the guitar and meets him with a challenging lilt to his voice as he asks, “Can you hear me okay?”

“Loud and clear.”

As Baam plays the first few notes, Khun can’t see his face from where he’s standing at the balcony’s edge, but he’s seen Baam play so many times he already knows how serenely focused his eyes are, the relaxed and confident set of his shoulders, the involuntary quirk of his lips as he loses himself in playing. He never gets tired of seeing it, and he wishes he could see it again right now. He thinks he’s already heard this song before, its opening is familiar but he can’t hope to place it right now, but he’s reminded again when Baam starts to sing that it doesn’t matter, this version — Baam’s voice, even tinny and distorted through the phone’s mic, a little muffled by the fabric of his shirt pocket — will be more beautiful than any original he’s heard.

There are days, I wake up and I pinch myself You're with me, not someone else

“Who else would there be but you?” He means it sarcastically, to poke fun at his choice of song in this game they’ve played for years now, but it comes out horribly dopey and fond instead and Khun suddenly feels his cheeks burn. Baam’s late for a chord for a fraction of a second anyway, so it’s not an entire failure.

And I’m scared, yeah, I'm still scared, that it's all a dream

“A damn good dream, I’d say,” Khun manages in the haughtiest tone he can muster at the moment and that gets Baam’s voice to crack a little with suppressed giggles, but his playing’s still flawless as always.

'Cause you still look perfect as days go by

“Please, that’s a given.”

Even the worst ones, you make me smile I'd stop the world if it gave us time

Khun’s about to say something snarky again despite how deeply the sentiment resonated with him, but the way Baam’s voice swells at the chorus tears away his pretense.

'Cause when you love someone, you open up your heart When you love someone, you make room If you love someone, and you're not afraid to lose 'em You’ve probably never loved someone like I do When you say You love the way I make you feel Everything becomes so real Don't be scared, no, don't be scared 'Cause you're all I need

(Privately, Khun admits defeat this time, because he doesn’t think he could muster a witty comment, a sufficiently steady voice, or even the will to compete right now despite all his pride.)

And you still look perfect as days go by Even the worst ones, you make me smile I'd stop the world if it gave us time 'Cause when you love someone, you open up your heart When you love someone, you make room If you love someone, and you're not afraid to lose 'em You’ve probably never loved someone like I do All my life I thought it'd be hard to find the one 'til I found you And I find it bittersweet 'Cause you gave me something to lose

Khun feels himself straighten before he registers commanding himself to do so, because that’s it — that’s what Baam’s trying to tell him. For a split second, he’s taken back two years and three hours before, a conversation asking about Baam how he chose songs to learn, a light voice on a hot desert breeze saying “there’s always one bit, a whole verse or a few words, one bit of the song that tells you plainly what they’re trying to say.”

He doesn’t know how he knows, there’s no evidence to suggest such, but Khun feels it like a punch to the solar plexus: this is that part. This is what Baam’s been trying to say, what he’s telling him now: It’s you, it’s you, it’s always been you. When we met the first time, my heart remembered the shape of yours from somewhere our eyes have never seen; we’ll never be favored by the stars but I’ll fight each day for us; everything beautiful reminds me of you because I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you more than I can ever show you in ten thousand lifetimes, so I’ll love you every day of this one and hope you understand.

But when you love someone, you open up your heart When you love someone, you make room If you love someone, and you're not afraid to lose 'em You’ve probably never loved someone like I do

When Baam finishes, he looks up at Khun, and he doesn’t even need to see his face to know he looks shy and sheepish like the reality of the situation’s finally hit him and Khun — Khun can hardly even speak. He’s certain he looks like a complete moron, gaping mouth and openly flabbergasted, but he can’t even bring himself to care. Before he knows it, his feet are carrying him away from the balcony and back into the still-busy conference room. He thinks Shibisu’s trying to speak with him and he’s distantly aware of Baam calling out to him in his headphones, and fuck, this is so fucking stupid, Khun’s never this impulsive —

He rushes out the door anyway, making a beeline for the elevator (he briefly considers the stairs when he passes by them on the way and has to focus to turn his brain on momentarily and think of how many damn stories there are in the building to decide against it) and slams the button for the ground floor. He can hardly stand still as it goes down, tapping his foot and checking his watch and oh, Baam’s disconnected the call, and his hands are shaking (absently, the rational part of his mind thinks it’s amusing how closely what he’s experiencing now resembles a panic attack) and fuck, this is still so goddamn stupid, and fucking finally, the elevator’s stopped at the ground floor. Before the doors even open all the way, he’s gone, sprinting through the front door and around the side of the building to where he parked this morning and he sees Baam, zipping up his guitar case and he looks ethereal now that he can see him up close —

“Aguero?”

And Khun feels the last of his sanity snap in two as he just grabs Baam by the collar and kisses him so hard he can feel the way Baam yelps in surprise in each of his teeth. His lungs are burning and his heart’s pounding in his throat, already winded from running so fast, but he still can’t bring himself to care.

Baam’s the one to break the kiss, breathy and concerned, “Aguero? What are you…?”

And damn, Khun realizes he has to give him answers.

Say something! “You’re fucking ridiculous.” Not that.

Baam looks more than a little offended. That’s… appropriate.

“Absolutely and totally impossible, I fucking hate you so, so much,” Khun knows he’s rambling nonsense, but Baam’s gotten him choked up and unable to even comprehend what he’s feeling right now, much less express it in words, so he just kisses him again and hopes he understands.

He breaks the kiss again (he doesn’t get it, obviously, because he’s not making any sense) and replies, “You’re telling me two very different things here, Aguero.”

Wait. What?

Khun forces his brain back online through sheer willpower and really, properly looks at Baam, and — this bastard’s smiling of all things right now, he looks like he’s about to burst out laughing any moment now. “You’re the worst. You know that?”

And he does burst out laughing, and it sounds like a million bells chiming in the most euphonious orchestra in the most irritating way possible. “I hate you so much — I have a ticket for a flight for LA in two hours and a rental car waiting for me, I made arrangements to work remotely for the next week to make up for today, I was going to — stop laughing at me!” He means it seriously, but he’s so giddy right now, he’s certain he’s grinning wide like a fool.

Baam exaggeratedly wipes tears from his eyes and wheezes out, “You scared me! I thought you were mad at me—”

“I am mad at you! You ruined my surprise!”

And Baam’s laughing again and Khun can’t figure out if he wants to kick him or kiss him again, but he redeems himself (just a bit) when he says, “I’m sorry! I’ll help you get a refund on that plane ticket if you want.”

“That’s not what I care about here, Baam!” That only makes Baam laugh harder, and okay, Khun has to admit, this entire situation is frankly ridiculous, and he starts laughing with him before he can catch himself.

After a few moments, Khun manages to collect himself enough to retort, “I’m definitely doing something else to make up for it.”

Baam looks at him curiously as Khun pulls his keys from his pocket with a flourish. “You mean right now?” he asks incredulously, “But what about your —”

And, well. Khun’s definitely not about to admit Baam made him forget about work entirely. But he’s saved from having to think of a decent cover because as if on cue, Khun’s phone starts ringing with a call from Shibisu.

“Khun? What the hell’s going on, you just disappeared, is that —”

“Shibisu, wait, listen.” At this point, Khun knows Shibisu well enough to know that if he doesn’t cut him off now, he’ll never stop asking questions. “I need you to manage the rest of it. You’ll be fine, it’s just a little earlier from when I had to take off anyway—”

“Yeah, I know, but, Khun, what’s actually going on? Don’t tell me—”

Khun just looks Baam in the eye and winks at him when he answers, “I’ve got something a lot more important to tend to.” Baam flushes bright red but beams at him anyway and Khun barely tamps down the urge to coo at how cute his partner is.

The other line’s silent, but it seems like Shibisu gets it because he sighs, dramatic and long-suffering, before muttering, “I really should’ve taken Hatz up on that bet, he’d owe me money right now.” Khun’s grips the phone a little tighter in irritation, but he makes a note to reward him somehow for not taking the bet before Shibisu continues. “Yeah, I’ll take care of it. But you owe me the presentation in two weeks and one hell of an explanation.”

Khun doesn’t even think before he answers, “Deal.” He still hates cashing out his end of a bargain first, being indebted to someone rather than having others owe him, but when Baam beams at him as he pockets his phone again, Khun thinks it’s really not all that bad.

“Come on, lover boy,” Khun teases as he spins his keys once and unlocks his car, “you showed me LA last time, it’s your turn to see New York City.”

[arse-crack-thistle]

quality time

rwrb and the five love languages | part four

in which bea nearly crashes from the stress of party-planning (aroace rep)

Princess Beatrice buzzes around The Masquerade, double-checking place cards, straightening table settings, and pulling dried rose petals from the centerpieces. She rented the concert venue for the night to throw a modern Valentine’s gala to benefit Henry’s queer youth center in London. He and Alex are around here somewhere, probably hooking up in a broom cupboard and definitely not nitpicking every detail like Bea is. Her assistant follows her with a clipboard and updates her on the schedule: t-minus three hours until guests arrive and, in the meantime, she needs to give final approval, soundcheck with the band, and get dressed up. Jeans and a blazer, while royal casual, are not party-appropriate, and tonight needs to be perfect.

She usually hates royal events like galas, but this one is special. Not because it’s Valentine’s Day—Bea could not give two fucks about the holiday—but because ever since coming out as asexual around Christmas, she’s been looking for an opportunity to help other queer people, or at least give them a public figure they could point to and say, “See Mum and Dad, she’s like me.” Henry and Alex got their chance, and now this time, it’s hers.

The stage lights up with pink and red; it’s cheesy, but Bea digs it. The concert was the one thing she would not budge on with her royal event planner. Did she want to reach into wealthy pockets? Yes. Did she still want to have a good time? Hell yes. And the band she’s joining for one night only happens to be just as queer as the charity they’re supporting.

Permanent Record, local to London, tune their instruments on stage. Bea has met them dozens of times over the last month and vibed with them instantly. Margot, the too-cool lead singer always decked out in a leather jacket and Docs, is ace like her, and as much as Bea has wanted to get to know them, there’s been no time. Turns out, party-planning and party-executing steals the host away from all meaningful human connection. She’s only been able to keep up with Henry because he’s partly responsible for this event.

The pit, full of tables covered in pink and gold, finally looks perfect enough for Bea to hand-off any other minute fixes to the planner and finally have her soundcheck with the band. But then, a large crash comes from the back of the venue, and she hears a loud shriek coming from a familiar voice, the one that’s been shrill and disapproving for the last month. When Bea runs up, she sees hundreds of shattered champaign flutes and her planner on the floor, blood oozing from her hands.

This cannot be happening. The only reason Bea kept this woman around was to take most of the day-of duties off her plate. But she’s in the back of an ambulance now, and Henry is nowhere to be found. Bea’s stress levels go from tolerable to unbearable as she orders her assistant to track down replacement flutes. The staff are quick to fill her other requests: a couple of people start sweeping, someone runs off to find her co-host, another tells the band Bea’s soundcheck will be postponed, and a brave soul steps up as a temporary assistant and follows her around the back tables to check for broken glass. Bea knows she doesn’t have to be the one to do this, but it seems like the success of this event lies solely one her shoulders. If something goes wrongs, it’s her face—not Henry’s—in the papers the next day. Powder Princess Crashes and Burns at Gay Ball. Christ.

After an hour, everything is sorted. There’s no glass. The planner is getting stiches. Permanent Record has started their soundcheck and sound amazing. But even their chill indie tunes can’t calm the princess. She needs to get on stage, but her stylist specifically requested she have at least two hours to work his magic, which is not going to happen.

Bea tells her assistant to get her stylist and his team to the venue, because she won’t be able to leave, and warn him he’ll only have an hour at best. Henry and Alex have already taken off to get ready, and she has to remind herself to smack them later for abandoning her.

She tugs off her blazer, drapes it over a chair, and rolls up her sleeves. If she does get her hands on a guitar, she’ll explode. It’s all she can think of to stop her from raiding the bar at the back.

“Better late than never, eh, Princess?” Margot says as she huffs on stage.

One of the stagehands gives Bea her beautiful sleek, black Fender Stratocaster, and her anxiety reduces itself to a hum. Music can’t cure all, but it certainly keeps her from wrecking every good thing in her life.

“Let’s just play,” she says.

But it’s anything but perfect. Whatever chemistry she had with Permanent Record somehow jumped into the Thames between their last rehearsal and now because this is an absolute travesty and she’s only playing two songs with them tonight. She’s forgotten measures of one song and can’t find the chords fast enough in her solo of the other. Utter shit.

Why does she even fucking bother?

She always fucks everything up. Always. Why did she think she could put this on? Sure, she’s chaired these events before, but not ones she actually cares about, not ones she’s actually put her heart into. Christ, no wonder. She should’ve known it would turn out like this. She’s the anti-Midas; everything she touches turns to shit.

No kid will ever see her as a queer role model. She’s the girl they point to and say, “See Mum and Dad, what a waste.”

She needs a hit so fucking bad.

Which is why she has to get out of here ASAP. Before she does anything she’ll regret. She won’t slip again, and she won’t be the reason this gala fails. Henry can handle it without her.

So when Margot calls for a five-minute break, Bea excuses herself and hands off her guitar. On her way out the door, she tells the stagehand to find her assistant and tell her to have Henry take over. The hard part is over thanks to the planner actually being brilliant at her job, even if she and Bea would never get along.

No doubt, cameras are already lined up outside, so she hides in one of the green rooms and locks the door behind her. If she just takes a deep breath and calms down, she can bring herself back from the edge.

Five things she can see: The 1975, Arctic Monkeys, Oasis, Solange, and Fiona Apple’s signatures on the artist wall.

Four things she can feel: the worn leather on a crusty couch, the chipped-paint walls, her toes in her shoes, and her fingers through her light brown hair.

Three things she can hear: the ticking from the clock, the click of her heels as she paces, and a knock at the door.

Two things she can smell: decades-old musk from artists past—no doubt coming from the couch—and her light perfume on her wrist.

One thing she can taste: a hint of coffee from earlier.

She breathes in and out, and the knock on the door continues.

“Bea, are you in there? Could you let me in?” Margot. Essentially a stranger. She supposes it’s better than facing a disappointed Henry, so she opens the door and promptly relocks it as soon as they’re inside.

“Christ, this place is legendary, isn’t it? Everyone’s played here—is that Bob Dylan? Fucking nuts,” Margot says, pointing to the wall.

“I’ve seen loads of people here. Always wanted to play here myself,” Bea tells them. She traces Lizzo’s signature. That was a fun night; Nora and June flew out for a girls’ night, which was ultimately crashed by Pez.

“Me too, and the rest of band as well, I suppose.” Margot looks at Bea and smiles. They’re brown eyes crinkle in the corner, and it reminds her of Alex. “And now we get to, eh, Princess? Couldn’t’ve gotten here without you. The whole world knows Permanent Record now.”

“You could’ve done it without me,” she says. “You will tonight anyway.”

“Hey.” They reach for Bea’s hand. “Everyone has some hiccups before a big gig. It’ll be grand, but only if you’re there. This is your night as much as it is ours or the youth center’s. You have no idea how important it is for your lot to shine a light on causes people shy away from.”

That makes Bea smile. For so long she wanted to hide from her position. She wanted freedom to do whatever she pleased, but now she understands the power she has, even if people still see her as “The Powder Princess.” No matter what she wears, millions of fashion influencers share links to her clothes. If she walks into a restaurant, their yearly profits skyrocket. When she told the world she was ace, thousands of people messaged her and said the same. One of them was Margot, telling her about their undiscovered band from South London.

She tells Margot how that was one of the first times she really felt like herself. Completely at peace with who she is. How that peace got away from her and turned this gala into a near-panic-attack-inducing event, she doesn’t know.

“Have you let on how stressed you’ve been to anyone?” Margot asks. The two sit together on the couch after Margot bravely plopped themself down on the dirty, old thing.

“Hadn’t the time,” she says. Truthfully, Bea doesn’t think she’s had a genuine conversation with anyone since the gala’s conception.

Margot throws their hands in the air. “Well, there you go then! You’ve got to take the time! To take care of yourself. To hang out with your mates. Just to have some goddamn fun, Bea! Come on! You think I’d be a functioning human if I didn’t let loose with my mates every now and then? This—” They gesture to their body, covered in tattoos and tattered black clothing. “Doesn’t happen on its own.”

Bea laughs. It’s been so long since she’s laughed from anything other than stress. “Right, so how does this all happen then?” She swirls her hand in Margot’s direction.

As they chat, Bea relaxes. They talk about their families and uni and music and coming out. Bea tells Margot about the time she and the gang went to the karaoke bar where Henry got wasted and sang Queen horrifically. Margot tells her about the time in year twelve when they got dared to try out for the school play and ended up playing an old man in the most unbelievable bald cap.

Eventually, the two of them pull out their phones and play a few games of Among Us until Bea’s desperate assistant finds her and pleads for her to get ready though the door. They only have an hour before guests arrive.

“You all right?” Margot asks. “Want to go out there and try again?”

Funny how it doesn’t seem so scary anymore. How it only took a short break, a nice chat, and a little pink astronaut to put Bea at ease. She smiles. The notes come back to her fingertips.

check out the rest of my rwrb and the five love languages series: part one, part two, part three, and part five. (links to come as they’re released)

listen, my permanent headcanon is aroace bea and you will never convince me otherwise and i will never write her as anything else bc i love her so much!! (that being said, if you ship her with anyone, i totally understand). also, i reference a fic of mine i wrote for winterfest so if you want to check out my version of bea’s coming out, you can do that here! and finally, i know this wasn’t a romantic fic for romance week but like i said in part one, valentine’s day is different for everyone. <3

rwrb romance week | @rwrb-fests