#its heartbreaking we never had a safe childhood and we never got to be ourselves

[life-of-liminality]

Our littles the second they front on our day off and remember technically they are an adult and can do what they like:

And they will do side quests (pet any cat in sight) as much as possible

[f1united]

Ensemble - Chapter Two: The Girl and The Gift

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: Your Arthur Leclercs best friend. So why, after a random night in London, are you falling for his brother?

Chapter One: The Start

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and sex.

Word Count: 5.8k

Note: This chapter begins in London and is marked where it switches to Mykonos. There are then some flashbacks mixed in so just watch out for those. Let me know your thoughts, enjoy!

*****

Chapter Two: The Girl and The Gift

Not long after Pierre had joined your table, Charles emerged from the toilets. Pierre had waved his hands to inform him of his updated location as he sat in the empty seat, unknowingly signing himself up for a night full of girly gossip and drama. The evening was spent reminiscing on childhood memories and sharing stories. It wasn't until Nat checked her phone that you realised how late it was getting.

"We better get going," She announced as she checked her phone. "The last train is in half an hour." You lived just outside of London which meant that most nights out were cut short by trains unless you had booked a hotel. You hummed in agreement as you finished your drink watching as Pierre began to whisper in Lucy's ear. They'd been flirting all night so her next sentence didn't come as much of a surprise.

"I'm going to chill with Pierre for a bit, I'll find my own way home tomorrow" The rest of the girls saw it coming too.

"Are you sure?" Katie asked. "I don't want you ending up in London on your own with no way home." She had a point. London could be quite daunting when it was late and dark, especially if you weren't a local.

"Well why don't you stay too?" Charles nodded his head towards you as he spoke. "That way you could leave together." Not one part of you questioned Charles' intentions as he spoke. He remained the responsible 'Arthur's older brother' that was being sensible and mature, making sure that everyone got home safely.

"If that's alright with you?" Your question was answered with a nod of his head. You all began to grab your things and headed outside, saying your goodbyes, telling them to text you when they were home safe as they encouraged you to do the same. By the time they'd headed for the station, Pierre and Lucy were already nowhere to be seen.

"I'm not sure about you but I'm in no rush to go back to the apartment just yet!" You spoke to Charles as you looked at the night sky above you.

"Where do you want to go in the meantime?"

“Have you ever explored London before?" You answered his question with one of your own. He shook his head. "So you haven't seen all beautiful sites it has to offer." The sarcasm was evident in your voice as you pointed down the alley way you were walking past full of black bins and plastic bags full of rubbish.

"I've only ever been here to celebrate races and I can't say I've seen much other than the inside of some bars and restaurants.”

"Well you're in for a long night Leclerc." Two hours ago Charles wanted nothing more than for him and Pierre to go back to the apartment. The lack of alcohol he'd consumed throughout the night was only adding to the tiredness he'd accumulated over the race weekend. However as you dragged him through the streets of London he realised there was no place he'd rather be.

You'd ridden Boris bikes alongside the River Thames, shown him your favourite restaurant in Covent Garden and taken him through Piccadilly Circus all the way to Oxford Street where closed shops lined the dark streets, pointing out your favourite ones as you cycled past. He never did things like this. As a F1 driver it was difficult for him to go almost anywhere without going unnoticed but tonight not one person had recognised him because for the night he was just a normal person with another normal person having a good time. 

After abandoning the Boris bikes at the nearest drop off point you both headed towards the apartment. It belonged to Charles' mother and was often used by you and Arthur whenever he'd come to visit and couldn't stay with you.

"You seem happier than when I last saw you." His comment made you smile. It was all he could think about as you wondered through the dark streets. The last time you'd seen him you'd just broken up with your ex. Your relationship had been on and off for years but you'd finally called it quits for good. It didn't take a genius to see the relationship was making you unhappy, the anxiety, tears and sleepless nights were picked up on by everyone albeit your efforts to hide it. Arthur was the only person who truly knew what was going on and it hurt him to see his best friend in so much pain when she thought she was in love.

"Thank you, I'm in a much better place now. I've had time to focus on myself." You'd completely lost yourself throughout the time you were together, focusing so much on what he'd wanted and expected rather than what made you happy. The situation had increased your maturity and for that reason you were grateful your first heartbreak had come at such a young age. You'd correctly assumed that Arthur had made Charles aware of your sensitiveness to the situation to some extent as he made no further comments. 

He had approached Arthur with concern after your last meeting. Despite a fun grand prix weekend you'd been blinking back tears and spent most of the time with a blank expression on your face. He hated it. He could see you trying to compose yourself, when he came to thank you for coming you'd done your best to smile, your voice was laced with excitement, but your eyes were empty, drained of emotion. He was grateful to see it had made its way back.

"Did you know I've never been to Harrods?" His random fact was a relief as he quickly changed the subject, allowing your mind to be brought back to the present rather than the dark times from the past.

"Even I've been to Harrods Charles. We should go tomorrow, you'd have a field day in the clothes section." As a part time student most of your spare money went into savings, a fund you'd created for your planned travels when you were done with your studies. It wasn't very often that you brought yourself nice things so despite your multiple trips to Harrods, you'd never actually purchased anything. You could see him deliberating your suggestion in his head. 

"You can wear sunglasses and a hat with your mask, just don't wear a bright red Ferrari top and I'm sure we'll be able to keep ourselves to ourselves."

"Don't you have work tomorrow?" His question brought you back to reality slightly.

"I'll call in sick?" you offered. It suddenly occurred to you that this was the longest time you and Charles had ever been alone together and the idea of leaving wasn't something that you wanted to think about just yet. 

Charles opened the apartment door with caution, neither of you wanted to interrupt your friend’s spontaneous night, nor hear any of the antics they were getting up to. You frowned at each other as you stepped into the entrance corridor. There were no faint voices, no mumbling or laughs, just the hum of the city that echoed through the slightly open window.

“Maybe they didn’t come back here,” your judgement became increasingly more likely as you followed Charles towards the kitchen and stood around the island.

“I’ll send him a text.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and tapped away before placing it on the marble countertop. It lit up with Pierre's reply not long after he'd set it down. “They went to some hotel, apparently he’s dropping her home in a second.”

“He’s not the type to bring girls back to his home turf then,” you took the bag off your shoulder and placed in on the counter, grabbing a hair tie from inside and gathering your locks into a low ponytail. “Smart move.” Charles shrugged his shoulders at your observation.

He’d never really thought about it before, but he was the same. The few casual hook ups that he’d had over the years had never been in places he spent a lot of time like his house in Monaco, or his favourite holiday home in Mykonos, and never this apartment. Sure, he’d slept with people in those cities, but never in his space. You were right though; it was easier to forget about the crime if you never returned to the scene.

"Do you have anything I can change into?" 

“There’s a top on the end of my bed.” You thanked him as you made your way towards his room. “I’ll grab some of my things so I can crash on the sofa once you’ve changed.” You stopped in your tracks, turning to face him as you stood in the doorway.

“I’m not kicking an f1 driver out of their own bed Charles, especially not post race weekend.” You crossed your arms as you lent against the door frame. “I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

“I’m not letting you sleep on the sofa.” He argued.

“It’s one night Charles, I really don’t mind.”

“I’m not letting you sleep on the sofa.” He repeated.

“Well then it looks like we’re sharing the bed.” Your words not only surprised you, but also Charles. Neither of you were sure where this increased confidence had come from, but you didn’t want it to become awkward, so you tried to justify your statement. “Me and Arthur used to share a bed all the time!”

The look on his face as your eyes met with his across the room was one you’d so desperately been seeking without realising it. His head cocked, eyebrows raised and small smirk tugging its way onto his lips provided reassurance, giving you the confidence to confirm that this relationship was very different to your one with Arthur. You already knew it, you had felt it every time you’d looked at him since you were about 16, but this was the first time you could say with certainty that it was reciprocated.

Charles was dying to climb into bed with you. To wrap his arms around you and stay like it all night. He didn’t care about the fact that your hair would be in his face or that his arm would most likely be dead within the first half an hour. He just wanted you there with him, so he could learn things about you that he didn’t already know and fall asleep with the scent of your faded perfume beneath his nose. He suggested that he’d sleep on the sofa because he knew that wasn’t what you were implying. 

“I’ll stay on my side,” you offered. “Promise.”

That’s what he was afraid of. Charles was a respectful man, he wouldn’t cross boundaries without permission, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could go without your touch. The thought of your body lying so tantalisingly close to his while dressed in nothing but your underwear and one of his shirts was driving him crazy.

“I’m a very good sleeper, you won’t even know I’m there.”

You couldn’t stop listing reasons for Charles to join you. He wished you would stop; his head was already full of so many.

“Well go and get comfy and I’ll join you in a minute,” In that moment he made the decision to give in knowing that if this was the only chance he got to lay in bed with you he'd take the opportunity, whether your bodies were intertwined or not. “Do you need a drink or anything?”

“A water would be great!” You smiled as you turned around and headed to the bedroom. Charles spent the next few minutes alone in the kitchen trying to convince himself that this was a bad idea. That it was wrong. You were his brother’s best friend and he shouldn't be this nervous or excited to lay next to you, but no matter how hard he tried to dislike the situation he couldn’t because it just felt right.

By the time he joined you in bed you’d already made yourself incredibly comfortable. He chuckled at the site of you tangled in the duvet before climbing in next to you. You laid facing each other and remained that way as you chatted about memories from the past. Childhood holidays and his earliest racing days to you latest life plans and hopes for the future. That's how you drifted to sleep, listening to his voice was more comforting than you'd like to admit. When you awoke in the morning you were unsure what terrified you more, the feeling of one of you completely reducing the few centimetres of space left between you or never knowing what Charles’ touch felt like.

*****

Maybe that’s why you were so unimpressed when Charles and Pierre joined the several of you seated around the long table on the patio with two unknown girls. The number of cocktails you’d consumed weren’t providing you with a great amount of rationality but then again it was difficult to justify being annoyed when you had no reason to be in the soberest of situations. The only person to blame was yourself, you’d had the chance to experience a night with Charles and a combination of your stubbornness, maturity and (let’s face it) fear of what could happen had meant that you’d missed out.

It was only as she threw her head back at one of his comments that it hit you, you were jealous. It was a feeling you hadn’t felt in years. Ever since your last relationship you had lacked almost every kind of emotion. You’d dated people since but that connection was never really there which is why you were full of confusion at the situation presenting itself to you. The feelings felt foreign to your body and you weren’t sure how to deal with them, so you did the one think that you were too young to do back then. Get drunk and try to forget about them for a night.

"Are you listening? Drink up, we're leaving in a second!" Arthurs voice provided a distraction from your thoughts whilst encouraging them. You tilted your head back as you finished the remainder of your champagne, your arm was already reaching out for the nearest bottle to see if you could sneak in a quick refill. You didn’t even like champagne but after having run out of cocktails about an hour ago you didn’t really have much choice. In any other situation you would’ve declined and waited until you were at the club but you weren’t really in the mood to sober up right now. You got up to follow everyone to the taxis, deciding that the bottle had too much in to be left at the table to waste, but not enough in that you couldn't finish it before you reached you destination. Putting the bottle to your lips this time, you took another gulp.

He noticed. He noticed the vast amount of alcohol you had consumed thus far. The unbothered façade you'd displayed during dinner was picked up by him the second he’d glanced in your direction. Your eyes often met his across rooms, at events, in the paddock, even at family dinners and it was always followed by a shared smile, but tonight you hadn't even looked at him and he couldn't stand it. Although he couldn’t be certain, he had a good idea what the cause was. Guilt was slowly consuming his thoughts. He shouldn’t have felt guilty, there was no real reason to, yet he did.

He knew if he had come alone you would've had a couple of drinks with dinner, just enough to prepare yourself for the club afterwards, allowing the sweaty people and sticky floor to become slightly bearable. He also knew that you weren't a huge drinker and that the lack of food you had consumed at dinner would only worsen the matter which was evident as he watched you fall into a taxi with Arthur and Carla as he climbed into a separate one with Pierre and, what they appeared to be to everyone else, their ‘dates’.

The club was busy, everyone excited to be back on the dance floor after its absence over the past year or two. Although it would've been nice to spend some more time with him, you were thankful that the crowds had engulfed you so you'd lose sight of Charles and her. You'd found your way to the middle of the dance floor and you remained there for hours losing track of time and somehow your friends too.

Unbeknown to you, Charles had lost his 'date' at the first chance he had. He'd met her on a boat during the day with Pierre and when his best friend had invited her best friend for dinner he felt bad for not doing the same. He was sitting at the bar with Pierre who'd picked up on the amount of attention he was paying you as you danced along with random strangers. The Frenchman questioned what he was doing when he noticed Charles tighten his jaw. Charles nodded his head in your direction and the pair watched as a man approached you.

The guy in front of you was only offering to buy you a drink but you knew you were way over your limit. You'd politely declined, naively assuming that he'd disappear back into the sea of faces but that wasn't the case. Your refusal  clearly not accepted as he insisted. grabbing onto your arm in an attempt to pull you in the direction of the bar. Yanking your arm out of his grip you instantly managed to sober up as you came to the realisation you were going to have to fight this battle alone.

Charles knew you were a big girl, that you could handle yourself in almost any situation thrown your way, but as the guy reached out to touch you he could've sworn he moved quicker than his Ferrari. His presence shocked you as you flinched slightly at the unfamiliar grip on your waist.

"It's just me ma belle." Charles whispered calmly into your ear, placing a feather light kiss onto your cheek. Relief instantly washed over your body. You wished you could focus on the conversation that Charles was now having with the strange man in front of you but you couldn't. The only thing you could focus on was the feeling of your skin heating beneath Charles' fingertips and the tingling sensation that lingered where he'd planted the kiss. He'd never touched you before, the brief hugs being the most contact you'd ever shared, and now he was standing in a club with his hand around your waist as he fended off a random guy who'd taken an interest in you. "I think we should head home." When Charles spoke it felt as though each word was coated in sex as it left his lips. He hadn't meant it in a sexy way, you knew that. He wanted to take you home so you were safe. However his intense grip on your waist and his stubble lightly grazing your cheek when he leaned in to speak to you was putting thoughts into your mind that you knew shouldn't be there.

You looked up at him, your eyes locking for the first time that night. Your eyes always showed a lot of emotion. Your body language was often hard to read but you always made eye contact when you spoke. He frequently used it to determine what mood you were in but this time he was met with one he'd never seen before. Despite them having a drunken glaze, your dilated pupils held a look of lust. He could've sworn you were mentally undressing him. You weren't. Instead you were thinking of how much you wanted him to undress you.

"I think that's a good idea." He could hear the smirk in your voice over the sound of the music as you let your lips gently brush his ear lobe while you spoke. He shut his eyes tightly and took a deep breath in an attempt to pull himself together. You were disappointed when his hand left your side but satisfied when it quickly intertwined itself with yours. His skin was softer than you were expecting, the rough patches slowly disappearing over the summer break. Your hands remained that way as you walked through the streets of Mykonos. Neither of you spoke, you just remained in a comfortable silence. As the villa came into view Charles was basically marching down the street, his strides increasing as your little legs tried to keep up. He dropped your hand when he reached the door, searching his pockets for the key to unlock it.

The villa was colder than you were expecting, a shiver ran down your spine as the air con hit you. You headed towards the kitchen and grabbed your sweater off one of the bar stools, sliding it on over your outfit.

“So you’d let Carla drive your car huh?” his face instantly broke out in a smile as you relieved some of the tension between you both. “You know that’s not true.” Charles followed you to the kitchen and watched as you perched yourself on the edge of the counter. He poured a glass of water and took a sip before handing it to you which you gratefully accepted.

“You’d let your date drive it instead?” He rolled his eyes as he chuckled at your sarcasm, hoping that you’d forgotten about the girl he’d sat next to during dinner as quickly as he had. “How many girls get a turn before me?” Although he didn't let it show, your question had offended him slightly. Despite his popularity with women he was never one to disrespect them, especially not you. He took a step closer to you, standing directly in front of your legs that were pressed firmly together.

“You’re the only one I want to see in that seat mon Cherie,” That was one nickname that he’d never called you, yet it rolled off his tongue so effortlessly. He leaned against your legs and you slowly parted them so he could stand in between, closing the distance between you both. “I’d let you drive it again in a heartbeat.” Your eyes were fluttering between his eyes and lips, your stare only breaking when he leaned in to speak in your ear just like he’d done in the club. He placed a kiss on your cheekbone and slowly worked his way up to your ear.

“You looked very sexy behind the wheel of my car.” You locked your hands with his while he continued to speak, closing your eyes in a desperate attempt to try and calm your heart rate down. You wanted to say something back, engage more in the conversation, but for the first time in a long time you were at a loss for words. You loved driving, you'd often join the boys go karting growing up and learned to drive as soon as you could, so when Charles asked if you wanted to drive his Ferrari back to your home after your Harrods shopping trip you were more than excited. It was a nice change from the train ride you were expecting.

He'd watched your eyes light up when you realised he was being serious. It was the closest you'd ever been to driving something even remotely similar to an f1 car despite it being different in so many ways. Your smile was infectious as you put your foot down on the motorway, leaving London behind. You'd never even driven an automatic car so this was a completely new experience. He'd taught you how to use the paddles to manually change gears if you wanted to and how to shift through its different modes as you drove around. The only disappointing part of the journey was reaching your destination, your trip home considerably quicker than you would've wanted. After spending the whole time focused on going fast and not crashing, you'd selfishly not noticed how Charles was feeling throughout the drive.

He'd been trying to keep his eyes trained on the road in front of him but couldn't help steal a glance in your direction every now and then. He was always surrounded by fast cars, something he realised after seeing you sat in his driving seat he'd begun to take for granted. He felt overwhelmed with pride, he was the one who was making you this happy. He felt privileged seeing you this free as your hair flew around in the wind while you rested a hand out the side of the car, trying to resist the force of the air pushing it back. It was his turn to be selfish as he realised that he always wanted to keep that moment for himself. He didn't want anyone else to make you feel like this, give you this experience. He wanted to be the one to make you smile.

“Don’t go quiet now mon Cherie.” That nickname. Again. “I think we still need to discuss what happened in the shower.” You instantly snapped back into reality at the mention of the shower. His hand fell from yours and toyed with the bracelet on your wrist. The one that you nervously played with in situations like these. The one that he’d gifted you last year. The one with his name etched into it.

The morning that you'd woke up in Charles' bed you were alone. An empty bed was something you'd become accustomed to over the past couple of years but in this instance it made you awaken quicker. The note left on his pillow stopped you from worrying, he was out on a run.

You respected his commitment to his career and took the opportunity to go for a shower. The warm water felt refreshing against your skin, goose bumps slowly appearing across your skin at the sudden change in temperature. Rubbing Charles shower gel into your skin you closed eyes and lent your head against the tiled shower wall. It wasn't clear at what point you'd become so aroused, but  the steam from the shower and the smell of Charles covering you definitely had something to do with it. You allowed your hands to roam your body, his name unexpectedly falling from your mouth as you brushed past your breasts. The careless use of his name had caused your eyes to widen and your hand to clamp over your mouth. It had left you lips so naturally but felt inappropriate to say aloud.

It wasn't until a few days later that you realised he'd heard. He almost hadn’t. If he’d unlocked the apartment a mere three seconds later your words wouldn’t have reached his ears. His run had been sweaty and he was still out of breath but his panting soon stopped. His eyes widened as he heard his name leave your lips and he froze. He didn’t want to announce his presence, he knew he wasn’t supposed to hear it and didn’t want you to feel embarrassed that he had. He didn’t know what to do. He felt as though he was invading your privacy but knew that if he shut the door you’d hear it close and know he was there. So instead he stuck his foot between the door and the doorframe to keep it slightly open as he waited for the sound of the shower to finish running. He tried to focus on something else, anything else, but he failed. All he could think about was you, in his shower, without him and how badly he wanted to join you, just so he could make his name fall from your mouth the way it just did over and over again.

You thought you'd gotten away with it. He'd entered the apartment just as you were stepping out the bathroom and he'd acted as cool as ever. The weekend was slowly becoming a distant memory that you were trying hard not to dwell on, hating that you were missing his presence so much already. It wasn't until you were at work the following week that it became apparent your secret crush was no longer a secret. You were in the office early, earlier than everyone else. That wasn’t unusual, you liked to be in early as it often meant you could leave earlier too. What was unusual was the box placed neatly on your desk.

Although the small parcel was addressed to you, you opened it with hesitation. A small gasp left your lips as your unwrapping revealed a red box, the golden engraving of the word ‘Cartier’ on top. Confused, you gently opened to box revealing a bracelet.

You placed it on your desk as you searched for a note. Despite it being awfully obvious who it was from, you wanted some kind of confirmation or, better yet, a reason as to why someone had put this into your possession. You'd spotted it in Harrods with Charles. You hadn't mentioned it, just spent a few minutes mindlessly staring at its beauty. There was no point even considering buying it for yourself, the price tag was close to your yearly salary. Eventually you found the note. 

'I've heard you like to moan it'

You picked up the bracelet once more, analysing it as you did so. It was so discreet, discreet enough that if the note wasn’t a big enough hint you might never have realised. His name. Etched into the inside of the band in the same font as the word ‘Cartier'. Any other name and he wouldn’t have been able to get away with it. No one had picked up on its personalisation in the past year. It had remained your little secret.

You gulped loudly, unsure of what to say next. The dull lighting hid your cheeks as they flushed red with embarrassment, just like they'd done when you'd read his note. Luckily it was situations like these you considered your stubbornness a strength. "All I could thing about was how much I wanted you to touch me Charles." With your lips dangerously close to Charles' ear you'd somehow managed to complete your sentence with confidence. The conviction in your voice had satisfied Charles although it was obvious that he hadn't expected it as he pulled his head back slightly to look you in the eyes. It was the first time you'd seen them so dark out of his crash helmet. They didn't have the same teasing smile paired with them as they did only a few moments ago. For a brief moment your heart dropped. What if he was just teasing you and you'd taken it too far? 

"Say something." Your voice was barely audible despite the eerie silence that had settled in the kitchen as Charles picked up on your nervousness. His expression softened but he remained silent, placing his forehead against yours and gently brushing your noses. You both very quickly realised there was no longer the need for words. The last thing either of you wanted to do right now was have a conversation about what was going on because quite honestly neither of you were sure. All you knew was that as soon as the space between your lips closed, there was no going back. You were craving each other's touch and it was as though the kiss you were yet to share would be the seal of approval you both needed to explore each other in a way you hadn't before.

You'd had enough of the teasing, enough of the wondering and what ifs, enough of wasting time without knowing how his lips felt against yours. You moved your head up slightly brushing your lips with his before releasing one of your hands from his grasp and placing it on the back of his head, pulling it down slightly. As soon as your lips pressed against his you became overwhelmed with emotions. You relaxed into it, it felt so right. His hands began to explore your body, one placed on your thigh and the other tracing lines up and down your back, sitting on the counter top had worked in your favour as you wrapped your legs around his waist. It wasn't long before his tongue found yours as you let your hands snake beneath his shirt feeling his back and arms tense beneath you as he lifted you up from the side and placed you on the dining table which was at a slighter lower level. 

His mouth left yours and you let out a small groan of frustration, he smiled at the sound as you realised he was only doing it to strip you of the sweater you'd not long ago put on, allowing him to rid you of it, not caring how cold it was anymore. In between the kisses he was placing down your neck you pulled his top over his head. Your eyes were trained to his shoulders as you admired him, only shutting when he re-joined your lips. 

The sound of a key turning the lock at the front door caught Charles' attention. There was a high chance he'd consumed less alcohol than you tonight which is why he giggled slightly when you chose to ignore the sound and bring him back in for another kiss. 

“WE’RE HOME” Arthur voice echoed round the villa. The sound of his brothers voice was enough for you to release him from your grip.

“Shhhhhhhhhhh, it’s 3am people will be sleeping.” Carla tried to whisper but the tiled walls carried the sound throughout the villa. You didn’t know if anyone else was home, you hadn’t checked and to be honest you hadn’t even thought about it. The only thing on your mind was Charles.

“Y/N and I are in the kitchen,” Charles called back. His eyes never left yours as he grabbed his shirt you'd thrown across the kitchen and redressed himself, not until Arthur stumbled through the door way knocking into chairs and making them squeal as the legs glided across the floor. You both watched as he regained balance and muttered a drunken apology before sitting himself on the floor.

"Good night Arthur?" you laughed slightly at the sight of him on the floor, he'd never been the most elegant drunk but at least he was entertaining.

"Great night." He confirmed as he laid himself down, a laugh leaving Carla's lips as she stared at the state of him. If someone had spoken to you a couple of hours ago you would've probably had a different opinion but as it turned out, you were starting to agree with him.

TAGLIST

@imthebadguyyy @abysshaven @phatyak​

[like-a-bag-of-potatoes]

Our Story - Prologue

theA/N: My first Chris Evans series. This is just a fluffy little series that has been floating around in my brain for a while, and because I've recently fallen head first into the Chris trashcan, I figured he’d be the perfect person for this little love story AU. I mean absolutely no disrespect with this, it's just a work of fiction. I also want to give a huge thank you to @percywinchester27​ and @girl-next-door-writes​ for being my betas for this story. You are both amazing and I'm so grateful for your help on this. 

Chapter: One

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader (unfortunately no Chris in this part) 

Warnings: Absolutely none. 

Wordcount: 1850

Four weeks after my twentieth birthday, I left my childhood home in Savannah, Georgia, and pointed my nose towards New York. It was hard to believe that eight years had passed already, but my twenty-eighth birthday approached in large strides to remind me of how much time had passed, and how much had changed. New York City was a stark contrast to Savannah, the city that never sleeps VS the most charming city in America. When I first moved here, it was my intention to stay for only a year, then I would be back in Savannah with my family and the man that I loved so deeply, Josh. 

However, life never really turns out how you intend it to, no matter how much you plan for your future. Josh and I used to talk at length about our future together, and I honestly couldn't wait to get started on it all, house, careers, and then a family of our own at some point. Then, after eight or so months of long-distance we finally broke and admitted to ourselves that it was just too hard. I know you might think that since we had stuck it out for that long, we surely could manage a few more months, but by then I had been asked to stay on in what was supposed to be a temporary position, and I had fallen in love, not only with the city, but with my work. I asked Josh to come to me, told him we could find ourselves a little apartment in Queens, or the East Village, something we could afford, and we could spend a few years together here before moving back home to start a family. I guess you’ve already figured it didn't turn out that way, and it ended, as long-distance relationships often do, in heartbreak. It was my first real heartbreak- amicable, civil, and soul-crushing. It was also then I realized, as we all, unfortunately, do at some point in our lives, that love does not, in fact, conquer all. 

If I'm being completely honest, I knew within my first month in this magical city that I would never want to leave, and after things ended with Josh, I felt as though I had deceived him in some cruel, unintentional way. Every conversation we had, had after that had been filled with lies and promises I never intended to keep. I had fooled myself as much as I had fooled him. After our break up, although completely heartbroken, I felt free and unburdened, which strangely made me feel even worse about the whole thing. Our love didn't end in some big blowout argument, or because we didn't want to be with one another. It ended because of the thousands of miles that separated us, and because in the months we spent apart, I changed in a way that could not have been foreseen. Never did I imagine myself in a big and busy city, but as I said, New York and me, it was love at first sight. 

You might be wondering what job took me from my safe and comfortable life in Georgia, thinking that it must have been some grand, once in a lifetime thing. It was not. It was a temporary job as a personal assistant. I found it as I sat by my computer one night, daydreaming about what kind of life I would live if I had all the money in the world, what life Josh and I could create for ourselves. That's when I came across the ad. A woman, Mrs. Wallace, needed an assistant. She was a very wealthy woman in need of someone to keep track of her very busy social calendar, amongst other things. I knew she was wealthy because she lived on Fifth Avenue, not that I had ever been to New York and really knew what that entailed, but I had seen movies and read books placed in the city and knew very well that Fifth Avenue was a very expensive street. There was little to no description of the job or what Mrs. Wallace was looking for in an assistant, other than that they had to be organized and were able to juggle multiple things at once. Beyond that it really came down to compatibility. I was nothing if not organized, so before I knew it, I had compiled an application letter and sent to her email. I told no one about this, because it was ridiculous for me to think I'd even get a reply back. In all honesty, it had all been forgotten by the next morning, and I didn't think of it again until three days later when, at dinner with Josh I might add, I got an answer. She would like for us to meet. We sent a couple of emails back and forth where I tried to, as politely as possible, explain that I did not have the means to travel to New York just for an interview. I stated that I appreciated her interest, and apologized profusely for not being able to make it out there. It was then she asked for my details, and about fifteen minutes later I got a confirmation from American Airlines that my ticket had been booked and paid for. Two days later I was sitting opposite Mrs. Wallace at a restaurant that I would never be able to afford, listening to her talk about the job I had applied for and what she expected of me. 

The very first thing that struck me about Mrs. Wallace was her age. For some reason, I had imagined someone in their fifties, full of botox, fillers, and whatever else middle-aged women put into their faces to look younger, but Mrs. Wallace was not that much older than me. At the time we met, she was twenty-seven, so younger than I am now, and strikingly beautiful. Thick, black hair that looked professionally blow-dried and sculpted so that not a single strand was out of place. It draped over her shoulders in loose Hollywood style waves and stood in sharp contrast to the white blazer she wore. Her skin was olive, her eyes deep brown, and her cheekbones could probably cut glass. When you put that together with her long, model-like legs, an hourglass waistline, and a very ample bosom, the woman looked like a greek goddess. To top it all off she had a warm and kind smile, and a kick-ass sense of humor. Kate, as she insisted I call her, was far from the stuck up, nose in the sky, botox filled woman that I had imagined in my head. We hit it off, and before dessert was served, I had a job offer. 

It's hard to explain, but I felt as though I needed to take this opportunity, that this was an experience I was meant to have in some inexplicable way, and I accepted right then and there without a second thought, or even a conversation with my family or boyfriend. Josh was angry with me at first, but supportive, so two weeks later I stood in front of 1040 Fifth Avenue and looked up at the towering building with its limestone and intricate carvings here and there. Kate greeted me at the front door as I stepped out of the car that she had sent to pick me up from the airport. This place even had a porte-cochere to protect the residents from rain as they walked from the door to their private chauffeur-driven vehicles. I would be staying here with the Wallace family, in the staff quarters with the rest of the staff of course, so that I could be available to Kate at all times. And that's how my New York adventure started. 

Eight years later, I am still working for Kate, still living in my little room in the staff quarters, but I love it. I have a little bathroom and everything I need. Food is prepared for us all by the cook, Rosalia. She is a little, plump woman in her mid-fifties, kind and compassionate, not to mention deeply passionate about the food she prepared for the whole household. Along with me and Rosalia, the other staff in our quarters are Magdalena, the housekeeper, and Mitch, who is Mr Wallace’s assistant. There was more staff, of course, like the private chauffeur’s, who didn't live on-site and throughout any given day, people would be in and out of the place like it was a busy office space as opposed to the home that it actually is. 

Now, Mr Wallace was a very busy man, working non-stop whether it be at his office, or at his home office. It seemed as whenever I saw him, he was walking in fast strides, either on the phone, or confirming things with Mitch who half sprinted behind him with his I-pad, trying not to trip over anything as he tried to keep up and take down notes at the same time. Henry, that was Mr Wallace’s first name, was a little older than Kate, not so much that you could accuse her of being a gold digger, but he was approaching his fifties now. He didn't look it though, he was a very handsome man, and kind. Imagine George Clooney, a man that just seems to get more gorgeous with every passing year. Kate and Henry were busy, always had their hands full with whatever it was, but somehow they always found time to share a meal together every day. Even if it meant having Rosalia heat up some leftovers for them at midnight. They were very much in love, and it was clear in the way they looked at one another, and how they always made sure to have that little moment to themselves every day. A couple of years ago, Kate had confided in me that she could not have children of her own, it was something that had weighed on her since she was only sixteen years old, but with Henry, she said, ‘I have all I need with that man, all the love I could ever wish for.’ It was a shame really, because I knew that Kate would have made an amazing mother, and Henry a great dad. ‘I'm alright,’ she had assured me. ‘I've come to peace with it, and learned not to dwell on something that will never be.’ 

So, that's the short version of how I ended up here, doing a job I adored in a city I loved with all my heart, so I think it's about time we move forward. Jump to the part where my real story starts. Spoiler alert; it involves a warm summer day in Central Park, a ruined dress, and an extremely handsome man named Chris. 

******

If you liked what you read, how about slamming that reblog button and help spread my work? If you leave a little comment on top of that, you’ll be in my heart forever. 

Want a tag? I got you!! Just send me an ASK and I'll add you. 

Tags: @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss

[lassostark]

Summary:

Jaskier has a secret. Well, he has two.

The first is that he's in love with Geralt Rivia, captain of the rugby team and his childhood best friend. Only, they're no longer best friends. His second secret is that he writes Geralt poetry and anonymously posts it at the school's Freedom Wall under the pseudonym of Dandelion. And the thing is, Dandelion has become so popular - more popular than Jaskier - that it's getting more difficult to keep his silence when it's clear that Geralt is starting to develop feelings for the mysterious lovesick poet.

How naïve was Jaskier to think that it would be so easy.

Excerpt:

Dear Heart,

You’re the moon And the world is a lonely wolf; It cries at the sight of you For you are glorious And so out of reach.

Yours, Dandelion

~

“Ooh, another one from Dandelion!”

“Wha— really?”

“Where?”

“Move over, let me read!”

“That’s the second time this week! They’re being productive, eh?”

“Has anybody told Rivia yet? Oh, wait there’s— Triss! Hey! Have you seen Geralt?”

“I just got in, Duny. What is it?”

“Dandelion posted another poem at the wall.”

“Bloody hell, they’re on a roll.”

“That’s what I said!”

“Piss off, Chireadan. Nobody asked you.”

“Okay, Geralt just replied ‘on my way’. Where’s the poem?”

“It’s up there, the blue circle post-it.”

“… Oh. That’s quite painful.”

“I know.”

“They’re pining so hard they could build a forest.”

There’s a collective sigh of exasperation.

“Again, Chireadan: piss off.”

~

Jaskier slings his bag over his shoulder and closes his locker with a soft thud before going the opposite direction where the small crowd is forming in front of The Freedom Wall.

When he was in freshman year, the bulletin first gained popularity after the student council during that year proposed it to the school as a way to encourage freedom of expression amongst its students in Morhen Academy. Since then, the school never took the bulletin off, and it gradually became a safe space for students to express their thoughts, opinions, as well as anonymously divulge their secrets and desires. For Jaskier, who’s now in his last year of high school, utilising The Freedom Wall for the past year and a half as a means to share his poetry without compromising his identity has become both a blessing and a curse.

It’s a blessing because he can write and post his poetry while his identity remains safe, having come up with the moniker of Dandelion after his favourite flower. Not that anyone would think to guess it’s him. Nobody knows that Jaskier is a lovesick poet, that he has filled out dozens and dozens of pages of writing he hasn’t shared to anyone. Until that fateful day.

It’s a curse because while he pours his heart out into his notebook with prose and verses, some carrying a tune more than others — it’s not like it’ll make the object of his (albeit secret) affections notice Jaskier. Even if he puts up a large neon sign over his head, there’s just no way Geralt Rivia, resident captain of the Morhen Wolves rugby team, would look twice at him and think that those pretty words written for him could ever come from someone like Jaskier.

There’s just no way.

He’s been setting himself up for disappointment and heartbreak from the start, he knows that. He’s more than aware of that fact. But let it not be said that Jaskier Pankratz has always had a dreadful habit of hurting himself further.

Jaskier grows up with two parents and two older siblings. One of his early memories about his parents is that they always fought, and his siblings always bullied him just because he was the youngest.

Jaskier is six when he made his first friend.

He and one Geralt Rivia became inseparable after Geralt pushed their classmate Valdo Marx on the playground after he shoved Jaskier to get to the swing first.

They played together, had recess together. Some weekends, they would sleepover at each other’s place, though Jaskier preferred staying over at Geralt’s because he was scared that if his best friend heard his parents fight, then Geralt wouldn’t want to be his friend anymore.

Jaskier is nine when his parents separated.

He and Geralt still have sleepovers, but it’s Jaskier who often stays at his best friend’s place. He also adores Geralt’s mum. Visenna Rivia being an excellent baker and never failing to indulge the young boys’ every whim.

~

It’s later in the week and Jaskier has sequestered himself in his usual corner at the cafeteria. His packed lunch has always been the same since freshman year. The sandwich of the week (it’s tuna this time), a pear (it varies, sometimes it’s an apple, sometimes it’s grapes), and a juice box and bottled water.

He likes the quiet. Prefers it, really. But sometimes he’ll be joined by a couple of his friends. Chireadan, Renfri, Shani, and Priscilla are the ones who frequent his table at the corner. Triss, who’s Jaskier’s lab partner this year, as well as Duny and Pavetta, join him on occasion. But most of the time, Jaskier has the table to himself. And he’s perfectly fine with it, too.

With his creative mind, all he needs is his brown leather-bound notebook and favourite pen, and it’s more than enough. It should be.

Jaskier is munching on his pear while fiddling with a torn bracelet he’s decided to use as a bookmark for his notebook when he hears boisterous laughter across the cafeteria. He looks up, only to see the rugby team on the long table they pushed together in the middle of the area to accommodate the dozen players that make up the Morhen Wolves. They’re talking animatedly, voices loud and piercing, while others throw food at each other.

And right in the middle of it is Geralt Rivia. He’s one of the only people there who’s seated calmly, although Jaskier can see that small, upwards twitch on the corner of his mouth. The only indication that the silver-haired captain finds the whole thing amusing. Jaskier’s heart aches in that moment.

Then suddenly, Geralt looks up from his conversation with Eskel to meet Jaskier’s eyes.

Shit, Jaskier curses himself. He averts his eyes and ducks his head instead, cursing himself further when he feels his cheeks heat up with embarrassment at being caught.

He forces himself to focus on his leather-bound notebook, jotting down a few lines for a new song he has in mind. All the while, he continues to fiddle with the bracelet.

~

On Geralt’s tenth birthday, Jaskier gifted his best friend a drawing of the two of them. Before discovering his love for writing, Jaskier was a pretty decent artist, so he carefully drew a mountain with the sun rising behind it, two figures — one with chestnut hair and one with dark grey — standing beside each other on a forked road before them.

“Why is it forked?” Geralt asks Jaskier with a curious tilt of his head.

Jaskier shrugs. “I thought it looked nice. Why draw one road when you can draw two, right? And besides, that way you can choose which path to take!”

Geralt frowns. “But what if you don’t want to go in the same direction as me?”

“Don’t be silly, I’d follow you anywhere! You’re my best friend!”

“Well, I’d follow you, too.”

The two young boys share grins, and they only get up when Geralt’s mum calls them for dinner.

~

It’s the middle of November now, and since Jaskier started posting his poetry on The Freedom Wall near the end of second year, he always arrives at the school earlier than usual to put up the post-it at the bulletin.

There’s nobody in sight, the hallways void of students and teachers alike. Luckily, the bulletin is only a few feet away from his locker, which is also near the boy’s toilet. So in case he hears anyone approaching, Jaskier can make a quick escape.

Checking that the coast is clear and he can’t hear any footsteps approaching, Jaskier swiftly takes out the yellow rectangle post-it from between the pages of his notebook. Using one of the coloured thumb tacks pinned to the bulletin, Jaskier goes on his tip toes to pin the note to the upper right corner. Satisfied, he straightens with a huff of breath and takes a moment to scan the other messages posted, eyes landing on other anonymous writings pinned in the bulletin.

“My parents are getting a divorce. I might move schools next term. I don’t want to go.”

“I came out to my family last night over dinner, and for the first time I saw my dad cry. He’s a lawyer, and I can’t even remember the last time we had a heart-to-heart. But he hugged me and told me he loved me.”

“Sure, this school has a zero tolerance for bullying. But what if it’s ourselves we’re bullying? Sometimes, I’m scared of my own thoughts.”

“FUCK HOMOPHOBIA. FUCK RACISM. FUCK ISLAMOPHOBIA. FREEDOM FOR ALL!!!”

“What if one day you wake up and you find that you’re the person you’ve always wanted to be? What would you do?”

“The cafeteria needs to revamp their menu. There’s only so much baked fucking potato I can consume in a goddamn week.”

“This country isn’t for me. As an immigrant, I don’t feel like I belong. But then I remember where I came from, where my family suffered for years of poverty and oppression. And that’s when the gratitude comes. How can I be so selfish when my parents sacrificed so much for my sisters, just so we can be safe and have a bright future?”

“Anyone got any guesses who Dandelion is?”

A bubble of surprised laughter erupts from Jaskier upon reading the last one. He purses his lips and reads it a second time, eyes attentively going over the spidery scrawl of the letters. He’s half tempted to take it down, but Jaskier knows he can’t. No student is allowed to remove or discard anything that’s posted at The Freedom Wall. Nobody except the teachers and caretakers, who clear out the massive bulletin drilled into the wall every week.

Some part of Jaskier twinges in sorrow every time he sees his writing, though anonymous, be discarded so carelessly like yesterday’s leftovers. Once it’s out there, it’s never really gone, though. His words are immortalised elsewhere. What he chooses to share is only a fragment, a sliver, of the deeper parts of Jaskier’s heart.

He only ever posts at the bulletin for one person, anyway.

~

Dear Heart,

The universe is a brilliant writer; It wrote your name in my stars Before any of us existed So when the time comes They’ll light up your path — And lead you straight to me.

Yours, Dandelion

~

Like everyone, Jaskier is walking briskly to his next class, which happens to be AP English Literature. He’s adjusting the strap of his bag over his shoulder, mumbling to himself about purchasing a new one that weekend. He’s fixing the zipper of his bag when he rounds the next corner, only to collide hard with a solid body.

“Oomf!”

Jaskier hits the ground on his arse. His bag, halfway open, spills the contents between him and the person he bumped into.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” a gruff voice says above him, sounding just as shocked.

Jaskier stiffens, belated realising that the figure he collided with didn’t even move from the spot. Slowly, he raises his head to meet Geralt’s golden eyes.

Swallowing past the dryness he suddenly finds lodged in his throat, Jaskier quickly stammers, “I-it’s fine!” He clears his throat. “Sorry. Sorry, I didn’t see you. Was a bit occupied wrestling with my stupid bag.”

“It’s fine,” Geralt replies in that same gruff voice, although his tone is soft.

He looks away from Geralt’s eyes, unable to hold his piercing gaze for more than a few seconds at a time. It’s akin to looking directly at the sun, and Jaskier, who’s always worn his heart on his sleeve, fears that if he stares too long that Geralt will see something he doesn’t want to see. So instead, Jaskier focuses on gathering his books, notebooks, and pens scattered on the deserted hallway.

Wait. Deserted? Since when?

Ah, fuck. It doesn’t matter.

Jaskier is shoving his History book into his bag when he feels more than sees Geralt crouch in front of him. He wordlessly passes Jaskier some of his pens, which he accepts with a mumbled “thank you”. When he catches sight of Geralt clutching a brown, leather-bound notebook in his large hands, Jaskier feels his heart stop.

His eyes drift from the notebook to the rough-looking hands, and up to the chiseled features of Geralt’s handsome face. And he is. Handsome. Breathtakingly beautiful, with his sharp jawline and the high cheekbones. Full lips that are dry but look soft at the same time, an odd juxtaposition in Jaskier’s humble opinion.

Geralt is still looking at the notebook, Jaskier notes, thick fingers slowly stroking the spine as golden eyes study the initials embossed on the front cover.

“You’re finally using it,” Geralt comments, thumb lightly stroking the thin leather cord that keeps the notebook closed.

Jaskier gulps inaudibly. Give it back, give it back. Please.

“I’ve been using it for years,” he reveals quietly. Jaskier shrugs when Geralt looks up to meet his eyes. “Took you long enough to notice.”

Geralt raises an eyebrow at him before he snorts softly and — thank god — finally hands it back to Jaskier. He more or less snatches it from the other man, careful not to let their fingers graze.

“It’s not like I always have my eyes on you,” Geralt eventually says.

Jaskier finally zips his bag closed, and they rise up from their crouched positions. Jaskier opens his mouth to make a sarcastic retort, but stops himself when the words register to him.

He tilts his head at Geralt. “Does this mean you sometimes have your eyes on me?”

Geralt blinks, and he looks startled for a moment that Jaskier can’t help but chuckle. It’s so easy to push his buttons, Jaskier has almost forgotten how much fun he used to have getting a rise out of Geralt.

“That’s not— I don’t—”

“Relax, Geralt. I was only teasing.”

Geralt shuts his mouth, looking nonplussed.

“Hmm.”

Oh, he’s definitely missed that, Jaskier thinks with a pang. His earlier mirth recedes, amused smile fading from his face.

They stand in front of each other in awkward silence. Jaskier fixes the strap of his bag over his shoulder as he fixes his eyes on his black Converse shoes.

Geralt clears his throat.

“Thanks, er, for the help,” Jaskier states. He chances a glance up and fights down a flinch when he sees Geralt already looking at him.

“Sure,” Geralt acknowledges with a nod, his expression pinched.

Jaskier thinks he looks a cross between constipated and freaked out. Could be a bit of both, who knows?

“So. I’m gonna go. I have AP English.”

Geralt nods again.

“AP Biology for me.”

“Okay. Er. Bye.”

“… Bye.”

It’s with an awkward wave, and a more awkward smile, that Jaskier walks past Geralt to turn the corner and get to class. Which he’s already a minute late for, fuck.

If his heart is hammering against his ribcage, and his palms happen to be sweaty and his cheeks flushed pink, Jaskier convinces himself it’s because he hightailed it across the hallway in record time to avoid getting detention from Ms. Tissaia.

Yeah. That’s why. It’s because he ran.

(Read the rest on AO3)

[3shag]

August 1

This month, I am hoping to learn on how to focus on myself. I badly need to focus on my review for the upcoming board exam. Also, I’m hoping that this month would be a healing month and a fresh start for myself since I’d been really busy focusing on my family this past few months.

I pray for knowledge and wisdom.

I pray that I’ll be able to discipline myself not to easily be distracted.

I pray for a productive day everyday.

At the end of this month, It’s a new me. All these things are for my better future. So help me God 🙏🏻

August 2

Actually, I don’t know. The month of July was filled with pain. Still, looking at the positive side of this month was that I’m thankful that I’d finally received my two diplomas.

August 3

What love taught me so far was to be brave enough to let go someone you really love and just continue life. It’s been 6 months since we’d broke up, less than month since my grandma, and our dog left. I can say that I’m not that fully recovered yet because I still recall all the heartbreaking days happened. But, I can also say that I’m fine and fearless enough to go on with life.

August 4

My favorite non-work activity I did this past month was to try workout in the morning, read a fictional book in Wattpad, and chill with family like netflix and drinking beer with them.

August 5

I’d read a fictional story from Wattpad entitled “Chasing in the Wilds”. It’s a love story of a CEO and a civil engineer. This story really inspired me to work hard in achieving my goals. How I needed to focus on my review, work for my family and future, and I know someday I’ll find my living fictional character that every girl would dreamed of.

August 6

I feel normal again. Not so sad, not so happy. Just the neutral feeling. I guess the best feeling I had these past few days was to feel motivated on the things I wanted to do or achieved. I feel so bad when I got nothing to do. It’s like everyday should be an improvement day. I guess, I’m already tired of doing nonsense. Maybe, Its time to focus more on myself.

August 7

Actually, I did nothing on this day since I am having a body pain. But, one thing that brought me a sense of joy was that I have this body pain because I really miss playing badminton and that made me happy that I played again despite of this pandemic.

August 8

The best memories I had when I was a child was that I am able to play outside the house with my childhood buddies. No gadgets, just the usual traditional 90’s games.

August 9

The biggest lesson I’ve learned so far from this week is that time is unstoppable, so, why waste time to nothing. Everyday should be a learning process day. Trying to have productive day and rest if I have to.

August 10

I can be present to someone if I am to hear or listen to all their rants/problems in life. I may not be present physically, but virtually I am trying my best to make them feel better.

August 11

I really don’t know actually. But, I think the plot twist happen in my life right now maybe the days I felt so broke. So lately, I am trying to be resourceful on the things that aren’t not going to be used but has value, so, I tried to sell it online. It’s just a temporary income, so, I probably need to save too and discipline myself. But I’m glad I am not that so broke anymore.

August 12

My past self was too busy on school. Less time on my family and close friends. I can tell now that I’m proud of myself because all those sacrifices I did before when I was on college we’re all worth it.

August 13

The grace I am receiving lately I think my extra income in shopee. At least this time I can now save money for my basic needs and be wise on spending for my wants.

August 14

That everything happening right now is just at the right time.

August 15

Lately, me and my sister have planned to have this “beaded accessories” business. So yeah, I enjoyed doing it and makes me forget my worries temporarily.

August 16

Calming and Relaxing. It made me feel like I’m not worrying anything.

August 17

I pushed myself so much today. I haven’t applied to rest for a while. Maybe because I didn’t prioritize all my task this day so I clutched up everything.

August 18

The moment that they pressured me on my review. I am already pressured by myself and the moment they pushes me even more, it’s totally suffocating. The only courageous words that I am holding onto is that everything happening in my life are just at the perfect time. Mistakes and delays are meant to happen. All these problems are preparing me for something good.

August 19

I am still breathing

I have complete and happy family

We are healthy

We have food to eat

Few close friends but the realest ones

Blessed to buy wants and needs

I graduated college

My family / relatives / friends are safe

Comfortable bed to sleep and rest on

God is always with me

August 20

In today’s situation, all the public servants, front-liners especially from hospitals, volunteers, food drivers or any public transportation drivers, and others who continues their businesses just to serve the needs of others. They are the ones who’s helping and sacrificing theirselves to our community. What I have learned from them was to take good care of ourselves and showing our kindness to them because seeing them tired was really heartbreaking.

August 21

When I didn’t hesitate to ask and comfort my auntie (Ate Lita). The moment I saw her crying while fixing her things, I felt how lonely she was in her life. Everything we’re going through right now, I wanted blame the pandemic. Everyone’s suffering from mental health. Yes, it’s safe being at home but It’s also not healthy anymore being stuck in a house.

August 22

Faith in God. Everything that is happening right now, I always trust in him. No matter how slow my progress is, I know everything’s planned.

Discipline. I always feel guilty when I didn’t review or waste my day to nothing. It’s a good thing because I know that I have a responsibility to do at the end of each day. It’s an add up routine for me to discipline myself to at least review per day. Also, it helped me minimize the use of social media accounts, use of phone, or watch netflix.

Strong. I know that I am strong because I am not giving up. Lately, I am being pressured on my review. I panicked and palpitated when I am stress. I cannot think properly. I know that my anxiety starts attacking me. I pray. I pray. I pray. And after that breakdown, the next day, It feels like I’m totally okay again.

Soft-hearted. I’m glad that I am still that kind of person. I don’t have that so much pride. I know that I am still humble and the kind person you still know.

August 23

1. To put God first in anything and everything.

2. To learn how to use your emotions to think.

3. To learn how to rest and treat myself.

4. Everything is just at the right time.

5. I deserved better. Don’t settle for less.

August 24

It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. So much question on your head and a lot of insecurities on yourself. But you know what, you’re still growing. There’s so much things planned for you. Everything that you questioned about yourself, they’re all just temporary problems. Take it as a challenge for you to surpass. You still have so much things to be learned and you shouldn’t miss it. Just keep on moving forward because there’s a lot of opportunities ahead for you.

August 25

Trust is something that would take you for years to gain it and just a second of mistakes for you to ruined it. It’s one of my most important value in this world. Once I give you that trust, it means I am safe with you and I have no doubts for you. If you break it, I’ll always doubt in you and hard for you to have it back.

August 26

Yesterday. I’m not in a good mood. My body doesn’t want me to do anything. I feel guilty when I am not doing anything productive. But, its a recharged for me. Maybe, yes, I really need that rest for a while for me to think and relax my mind. Reminding myself to take good care of my mental health as well. Resting for a while is healthy, but too much chill can be unhealthy as well.

August 27

The positive changes that happened to me now would be my self-worth. It’s good to be single again. Less worries and problems. Maybe, God really planned this. He knows that I will carry much more pain when I am still in a relationship. This time, I’ll focus more on my personal problems firsts.

August 28

Recently, I am learning to plan all my tasks to do which truly a helpful for me to be more motivated to finish all my tasks. Also, I am reading an inspirational book before I start reviewing my lectures. It also helped me to be calm and inspired at the same time. It’s a slow progress yet it’s still a progress. Trying to not be so hard myself this time.

August 29

I am dreaming about acing that board exam.

I am dreaming about how my future would be.

I am dreaming about giving back to my parents.

I am dreaming about traveling to my dream places.

I am dreaming about buying all my wants.

I am dreaming about a contented life.

All I am dreaming is about my success. Success for me is something that I’ll overcome someday with all these present-day problems. It’s just all dreams but I know it’s not impossible to happen if I work hard and never give up no matter how life throws me curve.

August 30

Maybe, the new builded relationship with my sister. We are trying to start a small business which was her idea and I just support her. We don’t know how to grow and run a business, so, we have misunderstandings. But, we’re also happy on what we are doing because it’s something that you will not get bored or unproductive in a day. We both love arts, maybe someday, as we grow older, we’ll understand each other ever more.

August 31

I cannot believe that I made it. I am somehow healed on all that July heartbreaks. I can say that I’ve overcame all those previous problems because it’s all different now from all my current worries. I am now worrying about passing the board exam. This is what I wanted to happen, to be more focus on my review. I always have a productive day and I even learned to plan my duties to do at the end of each day.

~~~~~

Lord, Thank You. I know that you guided me. You helped me push myself to do better each day. There are downfalls, yes, but you never failed to be so good in me. It’s just a one month, but it truly helped me mold myself even more. I learned a lot from this month of August. I love you, Lord. Thank You for not leaving me.

[gra-sonas]

From show creator Carina MacKenzie, The CW series Roswell, New Mexico is back for Season 2, and Liz (Jeanine Mason) is torn between having her sister Rosa (Amber Midthunder) back and the sacrifice that Max (Nathan Parsons) made, in order for that to happen. And while Michael (Michael Vlamis) and Isobel (Lily Cowles) are struggling with their own grief over the death of Max, they also have their own dramas to work through.

During this 1-on-1 phone interview with Collider, actor Michael Vlamis talked about what he’s most enjoyed about his character arc so far, how Michael Guerin feels about being the one that’s left to keep people together now, the absence of Max and why that storyline has so deeply affected him this season, feeling honored to get to explore his character’s bisexuality, getting to take risks and go dark on this show, what Michael’s learning about his own past, and how cool it is to have some of the original series cast members involved with their re-imagining.

Be aware that some spoilers are discussed for previous episodes.

Collider: Your character has really taken quite a journey, since we met him in Season 1, finally admitting that he actually cares about a person or two, other than himself. What has most surprised you about the journey to where he is now and how he’s grown, as a character, up to this point?

MICHAEL VLAMIS: I feel like, with Michael Guerin, it’s always two steps forward, one step backwards. That’s been the yo-yo effect that I’ve been fortunate enough to play, based on the writing, since Season 1. I’m never surprised because the writing is always so consistent. Everything that I read makes sense. We did an Instagram Live for a Roswell takeover, and someone asked if there’s anything that’s ever written that I don’t agree with, with my character and, to be honest, no. Carina MacKenzie, the showrunner, knows Michael Guerin like the back of her hand, and she’s relayed all the information that she knows and she thinks of him to the writers’ room. Everything seems very on par with what he would do. As he takes these two steps back and keeps moving forward, every time he does progress, it’s in a very subtle way, but there is progression there. And now, he’s back to real bad Michael Guerin, getting in fights. That’s how you met him, originally, in a jail cell. So, I had this full transformation in Season 1, and now I’m right back to where I was, at the start of Season 2, and maybe even in a worse position. This whole season is figuring out his role in this world that maybe he doesn’t even want to be a part of. It’s figuring out his self-worth, figuring out where he comes from, and figuring out the origin of Michael Guerin. Episode 5 is the Michael Guerin episode, and you’ll get to learn a lot about his past and what’s brought him back to where he is.

With Max mostly dead and Isobel mostly a mess, Michael is the one that’s left to keep things together, which is very out of character for him.

VLAMIS: Exactly, yeah.

How does he feel about being the one that’s left to keep people together now?

VLAMIS: I think he hates it. That’s the last thing he cares about doing or wants to do, but now he’s feeling pressure to do that. His whole life, he had this brother who loved being the savior and loved being the hero, and Guerin just took a back seat. A little bit of that changed, 10 years ago, when Max decided to cover up those murders, and not turn ourselves in and reveal that there are aliens, and I don’t think Michael Guerin wanted to do that. He was pressured into doing that. You learned that last season, when Max and I are trapped in that bunker together, in my layer. So, this season, he’s finding his new role and he’s realizing, right now, that he has to step up because there’s no Max anymore to step up. I think he resents that he has to do that, and resents the fact that his hero savior card killed him, in the end, but it is what it is. That’s the reason that he showed up at the funeral for Isobel. He doesn’t want to be there. You’re telling me that guy was ready for that funeral? He’s there because he knows that he needs to play a different role now.

The first season, you had this little alien trio. At least at the beginning of this season, did it feel weird to not have that? Did it feel different without Nathan Parsons there?

VLAMIS: Definitely. I haven’t really talked to a lot of people about what I’m about to tell you, and this is dark, but I lost a friend at a bachelor party, last summer, and I lost that person in my arms. It was very weird how art imitates life because I wasn’t even thinking about it, at the time, but when I got back to shoot Season 2 and I was in Santa Fe, and I live alone out there – in L.A., I live with four of my best friends in a house – and do my thing, and I have a lot of time to reflect and get deep into the character. As I was getting into this character and pulling from real life, I realized, “Oh, my god, I lost a brother in real life, who was one of my best childhood friends, and I lost a brother in the show. This is the same thing that’s going on.” And so, not having Max around was tormenting because I can’t help but try to make things as real as possible. A lot of actors can show up to set and do the lines, being in a happy headspace, even though it’s an emotional scene, and they can do a great job. With me, I don’t know what it is, but I feel responsible for bringing out true sides of Michael Vlamis and Michael Guerin, so I really channelled that loss of a friend into the season. So, not having Max around on set was just a constant reminder of what happened with my buddy, and that that actually took its toll on me. I got to a breaking point around Episode 5 or 6, during the season, ‘cause I was just being so hard on myself, with making this loss of a brother true. And aside from all of that, not having Nathan Parsons on set is a whole other thing. The dude is a pro. He’s been around forever. So, anytime I’m working with him, that guy knows how to navigate a set. It’s a constant learning experience, and it’s really nice to have that older brother figure. Even though we’re similar in age, he is almost like an older brother to me, in real life, outside of the show. So, that was unfortunate. And I know everyone else on set felt that same way too, about not being able to work with them.

One of the things that I love about Michael being a bisexual character is that it’s allowed you to really explore two relationships with him – the one between Michael and Alex, and the one between Michael and Maria. What’s it like for you to get to do that, to be able to bring that to life and to also hear how people feel about being represented, in that way?

VLAMIS: It’s an honor. I didn’t even realize it would be this big of an honor, when I booked the show. I was just like, “Okay, this character is bisexual. This character is conflicted. This character loves deeply. I’m gonna do my best. I’m gonna love Tyler Blackburn, in this first season, as if I’ve loved a girl who’s broken my heart, in the past.” I just took it in like that. And then, after the season aired, I got so many messages from fans about how my character and our storyline inspired them to come out to their families. I realized, “Oh, wow, me being true to who this character is allowing people to be true to themselves, and they feel like it’s safe and they have an outlet, for once.” My whole mindset on the thing definitely developed, over Season 1. It was interesting because I think Tyler Blackburn came out as bisexual, after Season 1, so he always knew how important this was gonna be. But for a guy who has never actually struggled with what Michael Guerin is struggling with, in the show, I didn’t really know. I know heartbreak, I know love, I know loss, I know hope, but I don’t know what it really feels like to be a bisexual human being. But having that weight and responsibility, and seeing what it really means to everyone, has allowed me to see that. There’s a lot of pride in my work, on both sides. As a bisexual person, it’s not like, “Oh, I’m gay sometimes. You hear people say, “Are they really bisexual?” I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, love is love. Who knows who you’re gonna fall in love with? Who knows at what time, or who that person is gonna be? You just have to tackle it as true as you can to that relationship. So, Maria’s relationship with Guerin is so different than his relationship with Alex, and that’s been the most fun to play. With one, I get to have a little bit of a softer side, and with the other one, I’ve got my guard up, all the time, because of previous trauma.

Do you, personally, find yourself rooting for one of those relationships more than the other? How do you feel about him being torn between those two?  

VLAMIS: First of all, I love it because I love the drama. I love being able to play almost two different characters, in those relationships, obviously staying true to who Michael Guerin is. That’s really fun. Am I rooting for someone? No. That’s like judging your character. At the end of the day, you can’t judge your character. Your character is going through something that, at the time, they need to go through. They’re just doing what feels right, in those moments. So, I’d never choose which way I wanted to go. I love working with Heather Hemmens, and I love working with Tyler Blackburn. They’re both so different. With Tyler, I have the whole bromance thing. He’s just a buddy. And then, with Heather, there’s that female energy. It’s kinder, it’s softer, it’s safer. It’s just different. So, I don’t root for one or the other. I just see where the writing takes me.

Now that Maria has found out about Rosa being back from the dead and that there are actual aliens in Roswell, where can things go between Michael and Maria, after that?

VLAMIS: Oh, man. Well, it’s gonna be bumpy, that’s for sure. I would say that Maria is much more mature than Michael Guerin. She’s so grounded, which is just how Heather is, in real life. She knows herself, knows what she wants, and knows who she is, but Michael Guerin doesn’t know that. He’s almost like this puppy dog that follows suit. Over time, he definitely gets to figure out more of who he is, spending time with these different characters.

When I spoke to your showrunner Carina MacKenzie and asked her what she was most proud of with Season 2, she told me that it’s the fact that she was able to push the stories in a bolder direction, shaking things up a bit, and telling stories that are a little darker and sexier. Do you feel that’s the case, and how do you feel that that specifically pertains to your character?

VLAMIS: Oh, a hundred percent, just from seeing that Isobel’s pregnant, and her battling with this idea of taking this alien death serum to have an abortion is such a topical thing, in the world right now. Obviously the quarantine and COVID-19 is what’s at the front of everyone’s mind, but six months ago, that was all that people were talking about. The fact that we work themes like that into the show is risky, but I think there’s a lot of power in making people think about these uncomfortable themes and maybe reassessing the way that they feel about them. And when it comes to Michael Guerin, the funny thing about him is that I don’t feel like he ever gets too political. He’s just doing his thing and floating through, like a puppy dog, seeing where things take him and keeping to himself. A lot of those storylines are peripherally around my character, but when it comes to the risk and the darkness, she definitely ramped it up, in a big way. Episode 5 is the Michael Guerin episode, and some of the stuff that you see him go through and how he’s reeling is pretty special. A lot of CW shows, when I was growing up, you saw a specific version of a mold. You got to see the risks that Roswell, New Mexico takes last year, in Episode 12, when my mom dies in front of me and I can’t get through the wall. I was going insane. The fact that a channel that’s known for very attractive people because that’s what they’ve built their brand around – crazy, dramatic stories, great characters and attractive people that you want to watch – and they let me just go off the wagon, and not even think about how my hair looks or how crazy I’m acting, there’s something really special in the freedom that an actor gets when you’re able to do that. And so, I don’t feel confined by any standards that maybe were set for previous shows like this. That stems from Carina allowing us to take risks and go a little darker route.

Michael is really getting to put some of the pieces of his own life and his past together. How is he feeling about what he’s learning about his mother, and how do you think that will inform who he is now?

VLAMIS: First of all, with his mom dying, he had this feeling of giving up and like there was no point anymore. But now that Alex is pushing this new information on him, he hates it. He felt like everything was over and done, and now it’s reopened, and he does not want that. Deep down, he’s just a kid who comes from multiple foster homes, who would look up at the stars at night and wonder, “Where the hell is my family? Where do I belong? Who am I? Am I really this kid who got looked over while the other two were adopted, or am I someone that does belong?” And so, I think he’s hesitant, at first, to embark on it, but through the rest of the season, he saddles up and really dives into finding out his past because that’s gonna allow him to know whether he’s a good guy. He doesn’t know if he’s a good guy. I think he’s a good guy, but is he a good guy? What does he want? What does he wanna do with his life? What should his life goal be? Ever since they covered up those murders, it hasn’t been about him. It’s been about protecting the secret, and he doesn’t want that.

It’s very cool that this re-imagining of this story has also been able to include some of the original cast members. You have Shiri Appleby directing episodes and Jason Behr guest starring in Season 2. What’s it meant to the cast, to see how the original cast is supporting the series, and what’s it like to have them around?

VLAMIS: Oh, it’s amazing. I’ll speak on Shiri, as a director, because I’ve worked with her on two episodes. First of all, Shiri is just cool. She gets it. She did this, for many years, so she knows what works. When you’re doing a scene, there are little adjustments that she might give you, that she knows are what the fans are gonna react best to. You’re comfortable around that, knowing that you’re in good hands and that she’s not gonna move on unless she gets a take that she knows is gonna work because she’s been there before. And then, when it comes to Jason Behr, he’s just the man. We spent a lot of time hanging out together in Santa Fe. There’s a karaoke bar out there, called Tiny’s, and they have the best karaoke on Saturday nights. We went there a couple of times and sang together. We really hit it off. I see his demeanor on set, and I just try to emulate that man. He’s a good dude. He’s a family guy, and he’s someone that you’re excited to see. There are certain people that walk up and you’re like, “How’s it gonna be today?” In general, he’s a guy who, when he’s in front of you or he’s in the room, you feel a little bit of that ease. It’s a little pressure because you’re like, “Okay, I’ve gotta do justice for this show, the way that they did it.” But the fact that he’s there, playing along with us, just shows how much he trusts and believes in what we’re doing, and that makes us want to do our best work.

~ Collider

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Out of Time (1/?)

It’s here at last! @ripperblackstaff, @woodelf68, @everyone else who wanted to see it. Thanks for your voracious support, guys, and I hope you enjoy!

Summary:  Belle is the one to be sucked into Zelena’s time portal with Emma, and they find themselves in a very different time to the one they had anticipated, arriving to see the confrontation between Hook and a pre-Dark One Rumpelstiltskin. They manage to return to the future, but with some unintentional stowaways. With Rumpelstiltskin removed from his own timeline, the universe throws a fit, and it’s a race against time to set things straight.

Rated: T for now, but it will go up in later chapters.

====

Out of Time

One

Belle took a deep breath and pushed open the door to the sheriff’s station. She didn’t want to be the harbinger of bad tidings, especially when everyone was getting ready to celebrate new life and new hope.

All the same, something about Zelena’s disappearance just didn’t sit right with her, and far be it from her to sweep something under the carpet and pretend that everything was ok when potentially the entire town was at risk. If Zelena was going to come back at the eleventh hour and cause havoc, then she wanted to be prepared.

As she entered, Belle found that Emma was looking just as despondent as she felt herself.

“Not in the party spirit either, huh?”

Emma looked up guiltily. “Oh. Erm. Hi, Belle.”

“It’s ok, you don’t need to pretend to be happy on my account.”

“I’m glad I’m not the only one who can’t seem to muster up any enthusiasm about the whole thing.” Emma let out a long sigh and waved Belle over to the desk. “So, what’s eating you? I doubt it’s the same thing that’s eating me.”

“It’s Zelena.” Belle leaned against the desk, grimacing as Emma groaned at the mention of the witch. “I know, I know, I want to forget all about her too, but I just can’t. There’s something about her demise that seems too convenient, you know? Even if she did self-destruct like on the video, what happened to her… remains? She must have left some trace behind, but there’s nothing. What if this is just another way for her to cause trouble? Make us think she’s gone for good and then pop up just when we thought we were finally rid of her.”

“I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it myself.” Emma gave a huff of dry laughter. “Your worries are way more valid than mine at the moment; I feel stupid in comparison.”

“I don’t know, everyone has different priorities. What have you been thinking about?”

“It’s this baby. I know that the circumstances can’t be helped, and I know that Mom and Dad went through just as much trauma with this one as they did with me, but that doesn’t stop me being jealous that my brother gets to grow up with both his loving parents and I didn’t. I don’t think it’s even jealousy, really. Now that he’s here I just don’t understand my place in this world anymore. I had a life in New York, and it was really good, even if it wasn’t real. And now Neal’s gone, and I just think that maybe it would be better if I went back and bowed out.” She sighed. “Like I said, compared to fears of wicked witches rising from the grave, it’s fairly petty, but I can’t help it.”

“I think it’s perfectly valid for you to have mixed feelings about the whole thing. These are very strange times that we’ve found ourselves in, and we have to make the best of it. All the same, I think that your parents would be devastated if you were to leave Storybrooke. They still love you and care for you, but naturally they’re going to show it in a different way to you than they show it to the baby.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I can feed and dress myself and articulate my feelings, for one. I guess that we’ve been separated so many times that it feels normal to anticipate another separation. I don’t want it, and I know that they don’t want it either, but sometimes we don’t get what we want.”

“Maybe you need to think about it in a different way. If we hadn’t all had to go back to the Enchanted Forest and you hadn’t had to go to New York, you would have stayed in Storybrooke, and put roots down here, and this second pregnancy would probably have happened anyway. You wouldn’t have left then, because you would have had the time to get used to it.”

Emma nodded. “Yeah, even back in Neverland, Mom was saying that she wanted to have another baby. I guess it was kind of inevitable. It’s just going to take time to get to grips with the idea of having a sibling thirty years my junior. We have a weird family tree.”

“I can’t argue with you there, but then my fiancé’s over three hundred years old so I don’t think I have a leg to stand on.”

“Fiancé, huh?” Emma grinned. “When did that happen?”

“Last night. I guess that’s why I’m so worried about Zelena.”

“Yes, right, we were talking about the possibility of more calamitous happenings, not bemoaning my state of adult childhood.”

“It’s ok, I can tell that you really needed to get it off your chest. I don’t know if I’m qualified to give advice, but I hope I’ve helped in some way.”

“Yes, I think you have. It’s good to talk to someone about it. I didn’t really feel like I could go to anyone else about it because it just felt mean when everyone’s so relieved that the little one’s ok. I hope they name him soon; I can’t keep calling him Little Brother.”

Belle failed to hold back a laugh, and Emma joined her in giggles.

“Anyway, how’s Gold holding up?” she asked once composure had returned.

“All right, I think. I don’t know. He doesn’t want to talk about it, which makes me think that he probably should talk about it, but it’s not my place to force him to confront these things if he doesn’t feel up to it yet. I just want to make sure that he’s safe.”

“I know that feeling. I’m just not sure what we can do about it. Coming to think of it, it would probably be a good idea to grab Zelena’s pendant from the barn. I can’t believe that I forgot to pick it up. Of all the things that might prove useful if she was trying to return, the source of all her power is probably up there on the list.”

“That sounds like a plan.”

Belle followed Emma out of the station towards the yellow bug, and Emma paused before unlocking it.

“Are you sure that you want to come along?” she said. “If Zelena is up to her tricks again, then…”

“Then I would very much like to be there to smack her round the face,” Belle said. Emma’s eyes widened at her words and she opened the passenger door, gesturing for Belle to get in.

“You know, over the last few days I’ve really learned to appreciate your gumption,” she said. “I guess because you weren’t around during the curse and I never really got the chance to get to know you afterwards, I tend to think of you and Rumpel as a pair.”

“A lot of people make that mistake.” Belle sighed. “I am my own person, I always have been, and I’m so sick of everyone measuring my worth in relation to me being with Rumpel. I’m not a person to them, I’m just a pawn that they can use to get back at him. Why do you think I was locked up under the hospital throughout the first curse? It wasn’t anything I’d done to warrant that, oh no. Regina just wanted to make sure she had a bargaining chip in case she ever needed to get one over on Rumpel.”

“I’m sorry, Belle. I really am.”

“It’s all right. It’s not as if you knew I was down there.”

“Yeah, but if I had then I would have tried to get you out.”

Belle smiled. “I know you would. That’s why you’re the saviour.”

“Please don’t call me that. I don’t feel particularly saviour-like at the moment. Not even my normal superpowers are working at the moment. I can’t help feeling like all this can be traced back to Greg. If I’d known straight away that he was lying and here for nefarious purposes, then we never would have gone to Neverland, never would have accidentally unleashed Pan on the town; you guys would never have gone back to the Enchanted Forest, and we could have avoided all this pain and heartbreak.”

“It’s not your fault, Emma. Things are just miserable sometimes. Even now, when we ought to be happy that everything’s over, neither of us really are.”

It was strange to be having this conversation with Emma. They had never really interacted before outside of Emma needing Belle’s expertise for something, and it was nice to get to know each other as people, with no hidden agenda in the background waiting to strike. Belle was about to make some comment to keep the chatter flowing, but before she could do so, they had rounded the corner that brought them onto the barn road, and the words died in her throat.

“Well, that certainly does not look good.” Emma glanced over at Belle and then looked back through the windscreen at the pillar of raw magic that was shooting out of the top of the barn. It was the colour of flame, swirling like molten lava, and Belle knew that whatever type of spell it was, it was something incredibly powerful. She had never paid all that much attention when Rumpel had been brewing potions and inventing spells up in his laboratory; she was interested in the magic that he allowed her to see but had learned not to question the secretive things.

If this was related to Zelena’s attempt to break the laws of magic and turn back time, then it was something that no magician had ever attempted to control before.

Emma continued up the lane towards the barn a little way until the bug’s engine gave out with a splutter.

“Magic and technology don’t mix,” Belle said. “Rumpel’s warned me about it before. The stronger the spell, the more widespread and potent its affects.”

They got out of the car and made their way towards the barn on foot. As they got closer, the roar of the magic grew louder and louder until they had to shout to make themselves heard over the din.

“Ok, whatever this is, I really think that we’re going to need back-up!” Emma yelled. “How are you supposed to switch this thing off? Belle, I really think that you ought to wait in the car.”

“And let you be blown to smithereens by whatever this is? Not likely!”

Emma wrenched the barn door open and was almost blown away by the force of the magic that was spiralling inside. Holding on tight to the frame, she peered inside. Belle followed her lead.

The spell was coming from a circle marked out in the dirt floor, with four points facing along compass lines. There in the centre, fuelling the magic, was Zelena’s pendant.

“I knew it was too good to be true!” Emma groaned. “Why does this always happen just when we think that everything’s solved?”

“Magic’s a law unto itself. If that’s what I think it is, then we want to get as far away from it as possible.”

“Yeah, I don’t exactly feel very safe here,” Emma agreed. “It looks like a bean portal but going up instead of down.”

“It’s a portal through time and space, rather than just space,” Belle explained. “Come on, let’s get out of here before something happens. It looks really unstable. Maybe if we leave it alone it might burn itself out.”

“Yeah, I have a whole new appreciation of your proxy knowledge of magic now.”

Emma let go of the doorframe and took a step away, back towards the car, and in that moment, time seemed to slow down to a crawl. Emma was moving away, and a tendril of lava-like magic pulsed out from the portal, snaking itself around her ankle. The portal was not going to stop until someone had gone through it.

“Belle!”

Belle grabbed Emma’s hand, but the force of the portal was too much for the both of them, and she felt herself being ripped away from the door where she was holding on for dear life. Her fingers could take no more, and she let go.

But she did not let go of Emma. Whatever might befall them at the other end of this journey, she wasn’t going to leave Emma to go through it alone, and Belle clung to her hand as they were both pulled into the swirling golden vortex and shot into the past.

[awfully-sadistic]

Prompt #18: January 18, 2019

hometown  

Implemented with the theme for today, Survey.

I absolutely have no idea what to do for this prompt. But a survey should be simple enough to find. Just, what character am I going to do? This was a thinker. Not as simple.

Edit: Eventually, I settled on Gia and Mack from the Rockettes and mainly because I feel most comfortable with writing anyone from the Frenzy household. Behold--[Extends her arm.]--my cousins.

Where are you guys from? What was the family situation like? And where do you (and the rest of your family) live now?

Gia: I’m from Italy. Born and somewhat raised until I moved to New Senzannini a couple of years ago for the integration. My immediate family still resides in Italy and I write to ‘em sometimes. They’re really proud of me for making it in the Family business. Working under Nonno is the thing you want to do when you’re a Frenzy.

Mack: I’m of Italian roots but I was born and raised in America with the immediate family. There’s actually a lot of us. I lived in Fort Wayne, Indiana before moving to New Senzannini, too. Mine are pretty damn proud of me, too. We didn’t think an opportunity would happen to any of us until one day, it happened. Now I’ve managed to relocate my fam to where they wanted to live. Some live in ‘Sanzi and others, like my folks for instance, live in Italy with the rest of the family. 

What is a memory from living at your earliest home?

Gia: Living in Italy, I’m full of memories of running around the streets and alleys like a little urchin. We’ve lived in the same family estate forever and I bet if I go back, everything will be the same. There are plenty of tourists so I remember seeing a whole bunch of different types of people and being young, exposed to that much diversity, taught me tolerance at a young age. 

Mack: Hmm. We moved around a few times so the memory of living in those houses never really stuck to me. But I do remember an old tree that was in one of our yards and it had a Quasimodo face formed in its bark or it was a knot, I don’t remember too well. But it’s strange because I think back on that tree and it reminds me of Dot now and her love for things that aren’t normally loved. I should go back and see if that tree is still there. I might bring it back home with me. {Grin.}

Gia {From the background}: How are you going to explain that to the family that lives there?

Mack: Not my problem!

Was the neighborhood nice?

Gia: Yeah, I mean, coming from an immediate link to the Frenzy family, we had it pretty comfortable. Like I mentioned before, I lived in a family estate usually gated off from outsiders (except for the occasional business guest). We had plenty of land and workers that took care of our fields and other things I had no interest in. I guess it was nice in the sense that no one else was around.

Mack: I mentioned before that we moved a few times. We weren’t exactly rich like Gia and her family but we lived comfortably, too. We had woods surrounding the last home I can remember living in. But that doesn’t mean it was completely safe; we had the occasional hiccup of break-ins and I think there was a story about a murder. But other than that, I can remember things being relatively quiet when we lived there.

Did you have neighbors?

Gia: Not really. The surrounding land was ours unless you count the workers as neighbors. But they didn’t live on the property. And let me tell you, considering some of the horror stories I hear about having neighbors, I’m glad I’ve never had to fuss with them.

Mack: Yeah, a couple of the place I’ve lived in had some neighbors but our properties were pretty lengthy between us. It wasn’t too bad especially if I needed to borrow something from one of ‘em.

Did you play with the neighborhood kids?

Gia: The neighborhood kids didn’t quite exist. But I did play with some of the kids that lived in the city. But mainly, they were other Frenzy cousins like Rotte.

Mack: Yeah, I liked having friends. Never quite hit having best friends like Rotte or Gia, but I do have some memories of walkin’ up and down the streets with ‘em or attending school with them. We were little hell raisers though and liked to play pranks as a group. It’s pretty cool living next to your friends.

Were there any weird rumors about where you grew up?

Gia: There were urban legends, things like that. And the town I lived in was pretty tight knit so there was gossip. Being a kid, I never paid too much attention except to the urban legends because they were creepy and as a test of courage, some of us dumb asses would go looking for the things. There was a rumor about this guy that got abducted that made it all the way to our town and I remember Rotte and I traveled to a forest, trekking for aliens because we believed that was where they showed up. You see that shit in movies, right? Our ass didn’t catch anything but colds because we stayed out there all night and it gets chilly and we were overexciting ourselves.

Mack: Yeah, I can relate to Gia’s experience. Are you kidding? A small town rarely holds any secrets. Sometimes the neighbor knew things about you before you did! {She laughs.} No, but seriously. I heard it all from pretty mundane shit to scandalous affairs. We also had our fair share of urban legends and it was pretty much the same with me and my dumb circle of friends. One time, we went to Devil’s Hollow like the teens in the story, you know? Just poking around to see if we could find anything creepy. We didn’t find shit but the possibility that we might have run into something was fucking creepy. We scared ourselves a lot. There’s a few other urban legends me and my friends checked out--{Counts on her fingers.} Lights on Bruick, Poe’s, the Stairway to the Abyss. Creepy stuff.

Have you ever run away from home?

Gia: Nah. I had a pretty fine childhood and my parents weren’t so overbearing that I wasn’t able to do what I had wanted. Bet they wished that was different since getting into explosives. But, my knowledge in it caught Nonno’s eye so, maybe not. I had no reason to, honestly.

Mack: Yeah, I ran away a couple of times because I kept getting in trouble. I had a bad group of friends I ran with, what do you expect? {She laughs.} I mean, I always came back. My family was large so I had lots of brothers and sisters also pulling the good card or the bad so it wasn’t too heartbreaking for my parents. At least, that’s what I like to tell myself. Everything is easier for them now. I’ve made sure of it.

Any last comments?

Gia: Nah, not really. Don’t think I have thought back on my childhood for a while. My whole self is in the present and I’d rather it be that focus; after all, I have my little girl and thinking about a time when I didn’t know her is kind of fucking depressing, to be honest. But, now, I’m thinking it would be nice to take her back to the family. To let her see where I’ve grown up and take her along to the places I’ve hung out. That’s... pretty damn sweet.

Mack: Right there with you, G. In all fronts. I wasn’t too particularly fond of my childhood because things sucked at times. I’ve had to work hard to get where I am now and my circle of friends were shitty people. I wouldn’t introduce Dot to them but I’d take her to see that tree I was talking about earlier and if she wanted, go to those creepy haunted places, too. In the daytime, of course. I think, most importantly, I’m looking forward on giving the kids I’m going to have with Dot one day a childhood I’ve always wanted. Not that it was necessarily bad, but I want to give my kids the opportunity to have it better.

[sunflowerheartwriting]

Dragonic: 4

ITS CHRISTMAS EVE GUYS!!! Well, where I am it is lol! It's also my nephew's 1st birthday!! So in celebration of the holidays and my favorite little man's birthday, here is an update!! :D Hope you guys like it!! You can read previous parts here on FF.net or AO3! 

BTW: Whenever anyone speaks in Dragonic, the text will be italicized! :)

In a room that was longer than it was wide, sat a long dark mahogany table with advisors sitting around it bickering. There were no windows just large chandeliers illuminating the intricate draperies decorating the walls with their colorful weaving displaying the events of the kingdoms past. Two large floor to ceiling doors was the only break in the meeting hall. The man at the head of the table was getting increasingly irritated as his advisors bickered on what he should do to improve his standing amongst his people.

“He must learn the common tongue in order to speak to his people and learn their needs and wants.” One of the advisors spoke, the man at the head of the table eye twitched in irritation.

His advisors knew he had a difficult time learning and understanding the common tongue and here they were speaking it in front of him as if he was invisible. He understood a few words but not many, so that made it easier for him to cling to his native language, Dragonic. It was familiar and his family spoke it, so he didn’t see what was wrong with using a translator for the rest of his life.

“Your Majesty, you cannot keep using translators to aid you,” One advisor spoke in Dragonic pointing his statement towards the King that was sitting in his large black chair that was perfect for the just as large man.

He wore his usual black and gold armor, his sword lain flat in front of him on the table and his head resting on one of his leather gloved hands with is his elbow resting on the arm of the chair. “I don’t see a problem in it,” the King spoke with a sigh, his boredom clearly visible.

“But, my King, you are the only Dragon Slayer that do not know common tongue,” another advisor spoke, causing the King’s eye to twitch in aggravation again.

The King knew he was the only one, but that didn’t make him any less angry whenever his advisors brought up. This was probably the thousandth time his advisors have thrown that in his face and he was getting tired of it. He was in the room for at least 5 hours listening to reports, news and right now, them bickering about his lack of language skills. He agreed to a tutor months ago, but soon retracted his statement, not liking any of the tutors he was introduced too.

Inhaling deeply and pushing it out with the same force he breathed in, he thought he would do anything if it will get him out of this room. He knew that if he didn’t say something now, he wouldn’t be out of this room until dinner time and that’s another six hours away.  So, with a sigh he spoke, “Fine! I’ll learn if you all will shut up and let me out of this damn room! I’m growing old sitting in here with you all.”

The advisors stopped talking, looking at their King with shocked gazes. They all thought, they would never get him to agree again so soon. “Great! We will start looking immediately for another tutor!” One of the advisors spoke with cheer.

Once that statement was released the doors of the room swung open with a rush, a man in red and gold armor stomping in with his usual boyish grin splitting his face.

“Well, that was exactly what I was hoping to hear.” Natsu said, his wife Lucy following close beside him. “May I have the room alone with my cousin, please?”

The advisors bowed to the Fire Dragon King and his wife as they exited hastily from the room.

The Iron Dragon King was clearly annoyed by the sudden interruption of his rambunctious pink haired cousin. “Natsu, what the hell do you think you’re doing storming in here?” Gajeel asked standing up from his seat. “Couldn’t you see we were in a meeting?”

“I’m trying to help you, iron head and clearly you don’t seem appreciative that I saved you from more hours of listening to your advisors.” Natsu, frowned crossing his arms over his armored chest. Gajeel stepped forward ready to throw a few insults for his cousin’s insolence, but Lucy quickly stepped in between them.

“I’m sorry, we both know that our entrance and timing wasn’t the best, but please listen to us.” She spoke, easing both of the men from their fighting positions.

Gajeel let out a ‘tch’ as he shook his head pointing towards the empty chairs motioning for them to sit. Once everyone was seated, Lucy began to talk. Explaining from the very beginning why they were there and who her friend was, how they met, what happened during The Great Dragon War, how she’s been looking for her since and what she found when she did find her. Gajeel could see the tears in her eyes, but knew Lucy was strong and wouldn’t dare cry in front of anyone. He took her words into consideration, knowing what he would be getting himself into if he went to this, ‘House of Purity’. Sounds like a lot of unnecessary emotion for him, to be honest.

“Even if I wanted to go, I need a translator to go with me and I’m not sure I can get one last minute.”

“Don’t worry about that, we brought one with us if you agreed, thanks to Capricorn. Please, Gajeel. Help my friend.” Lucy begged, making Gajeel think over his current situation.

“Why don’t you guys buy her? It’ll be a lot easier if you did.”

Lucy shook her head, “If Natsu bought her it would tarnish his name to buy a concubine, since he already have a wife and I know she would want to do something other than sit around our castle all day. If you bought her, she would at least do something she loves as well as you’re not married so no one would question you. No one would dare anyway.”

“I can’t buy a sex worker to be my professor.”

“She is not a sex worker!” Lucy yelled standing up abruptly from her seat nearly knocking it onto the floor. “She is my best friend who is in a poor situation! Yes, you will buying her but you can just say you’re buying a hand maid. It makes me sick just saying that but that’s the situation we see ourselves in. If you don’t want to help someone who clearly helped you in the past then you have lost all respect from me, sir.”

Gajeel, was stunned with the sternness of Lucy’s words nailing him to his chair as her voice increased in volume with each word. The queen was shaking with anger as she leaned forward her hands planted firmly on the table as she stood. Natsu sat in his seat, smiling proudly at his passionate wife, refusing to calm her down. Knowing it’s better to let her get it all out, instead of stopping her. Gajeel was still unsure of what to say until he thought back on the statement she said about someone helping him in his past.

“What did you mean by, someone who helped me?” Gajeel asked, earning a confused look from Lucy.

“Did you forget?” Lucy quirked a brow, looking at Gajeel who gave her a confused stare. She shook her head, saying, “Of course you did. Natsu told me years ago that Levy’s father, Professor McGarden helped you mourn your mother’s death. Said something about how he would postpone the lesson to help you or even spend his time to let you act out or talk.”

As she spoke, his eyes widen in shock as he remembered that time in his life. He tried his best to bury the grief of both his parent’s death, not wanting to remember anything from his childhood, but it seems he can’t leave the past alone. He remembered that the old man was quite the nagger and always made him listen to his lessons but he was there whenever he needed him. Sucking his teeth, Gajeel stood up running his fingers through his unruly black hair, releasing the thick cord that held his hair at the base of his neck. He paced back and forth, thinking of a way to get out of it. He had a feeling that he brought this girl into his home, the past would come with her and that is just something he isn’t ready for. But, he knew he owed a debt to his old professor and if taking his daughter in is the only way, then I guess he has no choice.

‘Your heart has gotten cold, Gajeel.’ He could nearly hear his father say, causing him to shake his head. Gajeel knew that as the years went on after his father’s death and other people he loved, the heartbreak was too much for him all at once. He thought it would better for him and everyone else to withdraw into himself and encrust his heart in a shield of cold iron. ‘The heartbreak will be less painful for everyone if no one got close to me, so I’ll have to keep this girl at a safe distance.’ He thought to himself, pondering a solution to his problem.

When he stopped pacing, he looked at an anxious Lucy and relaxed smirking Natsu. “Alright, but on one condition. If she’s going to be bought as my handmaid and tutor she will actually have to be that. I don’t want her wondering around getting into trouble.”

Lucy squealed in excitement, clapping her hands approaching Gajeel at a fast pace with her arms wide, causing the king to back up just as quickly. “Oh, yea. I forgot, you don’t like hugs. But thank you so much, Gajeel you will not regret this.” She smiled brightly accepting a handshake instead.

Now that that’s over with, all that’s left to do is tell his advisors and head out to retrieve his new maid and tutor.

“Alright! Now that that’s settled, let’s go spar!” Natsu roared, slamming his fists together eyeing Gajeel with an intense fire in his eyes.

Gajeel grunted, agreeing with his overenthusiastic cousin, leading the way to the sparring room. They changed out of their heavy armor for lightweight pants and shirts, with their weapons being their fists. As the two men fought to their hearts content, Lucy couldn’t contain her excitement as she rushed outside to go tell Capricorn the good news.

“I’m so relieved he agreed, even if he did seem reluctant.” Capricorn stated shaking his head. “Gajeel, was always a grumpy fellow, but knowing Levy, she’ll probably fix that. She always had a way of shining the light in even the darkest of places.”

Lucy placed an index finger against her chin as a small smile quirked up her lips. She knew that her best friend had a significant power of finding the holes in people’s heart and filling them with pieces of herself. Even now, she has that power with everything she’s been through.

“Let’s hope she does the same thing to Gajeel as she did to us.”

“Knowing her, it will definitely happen, it’s all a matter of when. Let’s just hope it happens sooner rather than later,” Capricorn smiled thoughtfully. “I guess I’ll go inform our translator that his services will indeed be required.”

Once the men were done sparring, introductions were made to the translator and Lucy gave Gajeel a piece of paper with the details on where to find Levy. She decided to punish Gajeel slightly for outright refusing the first time, so she didn’t say what her friend looked like, only gave him the idea to let the translator introduce him and for Gajeel to talk in order to see who responds to his language. He complained at first but Lucy assured him it was for the better. Once the woman who understand him responds, he will have a handmaid and a tutor. This will prevent the other girls from attempting to know what he’s saying.

“As clever as always Miss Lucy,” Capricorn beamed down at her.

“Thank you, Capricorn. I do try.” She winked, earning a soft chuckle from white haired man.

[kingstonjael]

Finally! The SINGLES are emancipated! No more hiding in the shadows! It’s February 15!🙌🏽 Couples won’t be popular again until Thanksgiving and Spring is on its way! Perfect time to say….SINGLES RULE! 🙌🏽 Now because I do believe in marriage…but am not sure if it’s the thing for me…there’s only SINGLE and MARRIED in my book! Dating is just dating! 🙄 I have felt that way since I started dating Julio when I was 15 years old. Here I am now at 35 and not much shit has changed. If I don’t have a ring AND a deep commitment…you are just my current chapter. Julio and the Ex Factor are my longest chapters….though Julio and I were in a real relationship during our 10 years on and off. When I was with Julio, I was in a huge self exploration phrase so it just seemed like I couldn’t stand still with one person or in one state! Lol. Even with being as assertive and proud of my singleness as I am…I have to admit that Thanksgiving through Valentine’s Day is fucking hard! It’s no easy task to stay secure in yourself while the world and Hallmark keeps selling love during that season! Plus it’s Winter and I’m already grumpy! Not easy at all but SINGLES we made it! To celebrate today, I’m going to count down the top 10 things I’ve grown to love about my singleness! 10. MARRIED FOLKS DO NOT HAVE IT EASY! For every person sad that they are single….there’s like three marriages falling apart! 😳 Now I don’t have that down to exact statistics but I’m giving my singles a graphic picture of why shit is hard if you choose wrong! Marriage takes so much work and many are not even half equipped for the journey! Long lasting relationships take more than all the “feels.” It’s more like you need to put your blood, sweat, and tears into that shit! And even if you do…it could still fall apart because it takes TWO! 🙌🏽 So rest assured that if you are still single…you still have the opportunity to choose well but more importantly….the opportunity to choose a partner AFTER you have fallen completely in love with yourself! 9. I WOULD HAVE BEEN DIVORCED! I have said this time and time again…relationships have never been my thing! There were 3 times in my life I could have been married to three different men…but I knew myself all too well! I would be fucking divorced all three times! I wasn’t in love and while I respected two of the men…they deserved a woman who wanted to be their wife! No need to settle for my confused ass! 😂 Two out of the three are married…and for a very long time. So happy for them! 🙌🏽 We all made the right choices for ourselves! No regrets! 8. I HAVE DEEP SEEDED COMMITMENT ISSUES! If you have been following the blog from the beginning…then you already know that there are certain things in my childhood that make me hesitant to choose any man! I know I whine a lot about the Ex Factor not committing to me but truth be told…I chose him for a reason! I can love…very confusingly…but I don’t have to give more of myself than I’m willing to. If he had committed to me (seriously)…before trust was broken…I don’t think our relationship would be much more different than it is now. I’m not trying to be his mama and I already got a Daddy! ✌🏾I imagine that we would check in with each other like we do now…and life would go on with its normal ups and downs. A serious commitment (a title with action to back it up) would have proved to me that he loved me and made it that there was no uncertainty between us. But he chose this route and since I seem to not be able to find a detour…I’m along for the ride…for how ever how long I can stand it! Lol. I rest well at night with the thought that if he never commits to me or I completely get turned off from the idea (dangerously close to that point)…it will be his regret..not mine! ✌🏾A man can find any woman…but a woman that loves him unconditionally and is willing to grow with him is hard!!! Or so my male friends tell me! Such is life! All I can do is work on me and enjoy life! And I damn sure plan to! 7. I AM NOT SURE THERE IS A “ONE!” I started writing to my BOAZ in September 2016 for many different reasons. Mainly to stay happy, open, and hopeful as I anchor my way in the dating world. For all I know…BOAZ is a man that will take me through certain phrases of my life. He may not be one great man but may be a combination of many. And I’m okay with that. 6. I CAN STILL FALL IN LOVE AGAIN! Falling in love with the Ex Factor was the BEST feeling ever!!! Just think…I’m going to get a chance to love even more deeply! 😍 I AM GOING TO LOVE AGAIN! 🙌🏽 While the marrieds have to keep finding ways to fall in love with the same person over and over again…us singles have a shot at new love! Take that shot and be glad you have been given it!🙌🏽 5. I LOVE HAVING THE FREEDOM TO TRAVEL! Being single means…I never have to check in with anyone when I book a trip. For example, I randomly had a week off from work in July. On the MONDAY, I booked a trip to fly to Chicago on the TUESDAY! I text the Ex Factor from the airport and FaceTime him once when I was out there. My money and my time…I do as I fucking please and that kind of freedom is priceless! 4. ALL OF MY TIME IS FOR ME! Similar to traveling when I want to…I plan each day based on myself! 🙌🏽 Hmmm…what’s going to make me happy today? Whatever it is…I get right to it! Don’t have to divide my time with a man. It’s just me and my career. And we definitely FLEX! 🙌🏽 3. I HAVE THE ABILITY TO BE UNAPOLOGETICALLY SEXY! 🙌🏽 Once you are a mother and/or wife, society wants us women to wear a brown paper bag over our heads and hide our bodies! No way! I totally disagree with this stigma for my wife and mommy friends! But society judges them so hard anyways! I, on the other hand, am SINGLE so society cannot tell me to go hide! I’m in this bitch!🙌🏽 And I define what I should wear. I exude confidence…even though I’m seen as “a woman of a certain age.” They want me to hide too because I’m 35 and not married with children! 😳 Well…guess the fuck what?! I’m here and I won’t hide! I won’t excuse myself or talk myself out of “a seat at my own damn table!” No way! I’m 35, SINGLE, and confident…so deal with it! 2. HEARTBREAK WILL NOT LAST FOREVER! As a SINGLE person, heartbreak is still inevitable! Either for the relationships that didn’t pan out or the loss from ones that we have yet to get over! But as I said in number 6, we still have the ability to fall in love again as long as we are open and are loving ourselves through all the hurt and pain! All is not lost forever! It’s not our wives/husbands who take us for granted…it’s our girlfriends/boyfriends/situationships! WE CAN AND WE WILL LOVE AGAIN! 1. SELF LOVE! We have been blessed with this time of self exploration! Sure we have been given more trial and error time than most folks around us but that’s not a bad thing. Every year I learn something new about myself that I did not know before. The newness of each stages of our lives can sometimes threaten the relationships we have…especially marriages…if there is not safe space to grow and learn that is filled with patience and understanding! In our singleness…it’s just ourselves that we have to be patient with! Just us! 🤑 So we can grow easily and be at peace with the new level we reached in our lives! We won’t have to apologize to anyone…that we have changed and that we love our change! WE ARE UNAPOLOGETICALLY SINGLE! 🙌🏽 ~KJM on Hump Day 😘