h0neylvst

[h0neylvst]

this is so magical 🥹🥹

remus lupin x fem!reader, fluff/comfort mostly ♡

-remus thinks he doesn't deserve anything nice. he can't be more wrong.

cw; this is super sickly sweet and romantic read at your own discretion, sleepy remus, friends to lovers (?), pining and yearning, touch starved!remus, kinda touch starved!reader, kissing, so much so so much kissing, remus smokes, he also apologises a lot, a bit suggestive at the end but nothing smutty

wc; 1.7k

loved by you

"remus?"

you lean slightly to see remus' face only to find him fast asleep on your side of the bed. his lips are parted, soft cheek melting against your pillow, and he looks peaceful. he looks like he's finally getting some rest and you could never disturb him when he needs it the most.

you know it's not polite to stare, and you never could if remus was awake. he's in all your wishes and every dream, a precious boy who has love for everyone other than himself. his long fingers are squeezing the blanket only a little, palm filled with the fluffy fabric.

there's an ache that grows. you want to kiss remus. the urge is sweet and impossible to follow, you want to press yourself on his lovely skin and get a glimpse of him. what would it be like to love him? love him like nothing can stop you. kiss him anywhere you want. read him books and poems, ask for his opinion, seek his hands under all the tables. all the casuality that comes with love, you want it.

remus is not your boyfriend.

you sit down properly on your bed. he always says he likes your apartment better than his. he looks like he belongs here. under your blanket and surrounded by your scent all over the bed. he lets himself be okay every time he's in your room.

you watch him. his small frown, tiny pout, but he looks pretty. he always looks pretty. too bad he's only a friend and nothing more.

he turns to his side in his sleep. you don't move.

remus stretches his legs, small sounds of back cracks follow, and he relaxes. his body looks for yours, he comes closer.

you think nothing of it. it only means he's exhausted. he is just a human with a tired body that he has to drag everywhere, it's normal that he seeks comfort. he trusts you, you know. it's okay if he wants to be closer.

when he extends his arm to wrap it around your waist, you freeze.

remus looks like a little boy when he pouts, not getting what he wants, he tries to pull you close with an almost useless arm. he murmurs something you can't hear properly.

you let him get you in his bubble. how can you not when he's obviously needy of it? connection and touch. remus craves it like he's been starved for so long. you're no better.

he puts his head on your chest. you're holding him in your arms in a second. his hair tickles your skin. he makes a tiny sound, it's full of yearning, the kind that makes you want to tangle your legs with his and never let him walk away.

"it's okay." you whisper. your hand goes up to cup his cheek. he nearly melts. "i'm here."

you'll always be here, if that's what he wants.

he tightens his arms around you. you drag your hand to the back of his neck, nails scratching his scalp, you play with him. he's sleeping so deep, you'd do anything for him to get a few hours of this.

"you are loved, so loved." you can't help yourself. you kiss right below his ear. it's too much for a friend. "just need you to know how precious you are, remus."

he doesn't hear your whispers. maybe this is better. he'd probably tell you to stop. stop complimenting. stop telling him that he's something he doesn't think he is. stop being so sweet on him. he doesn't deserve it, he'd say.

you want to fight all his demons.

instead, you pull him even closer, make sure he's comfortable where he is. the pillow is soft under his head, and you are incredibly warm and inviting. can he feel the gentle pressure of your fingers in his hair? you don't know, but you keep playing with him. taking your time, you count every eyelash and every tiny spot on his face.

an hour passes with your loving and remus' gentle breaths. he's still sleeping like a baby.

your fingers feel a bit numb. you try to relax them, focus on remus. you probably won't be able to appreciate his beauty for a long time after he wakes up. he'll thank you and leave, maybe he'll offer to make you a cup of coffee to let you know he's grateful. you don't really need that, but he'll feel obligated to do something in return.

he stirs awake after another fifteen minutes.

"hey." you whisper, gently coaxing him out of his sleep. "everything's okay."

the thin line between his eyebrows disappear after he realizes where he is, who he is with.

"i didn't mean to fall asleep." he says, his voice is rough and delicious. "i was- waiting for you."

"i know." you tell him. he still has his arms around you. "it's okay, you needed to sleep."

"yeah." he says, mind blurry with a comforting haze. his body is responsive to every bit of affection, he can't separate himself from you.

in that moment, something in the air shifts.

remus looks at you with longing. as if he knows this won't last. as if it pains him to leave your arms. he takes a greedy breath, inhaling your perfume and carving you to his mind. he'll remember this forever.

you don't know what this is, this weird feeling that makes you lean to his face softly. it can be madness. it can be love, a type of love that is so deep, you have to keep reminding yourself of your surroundings constantly.

"remus?" you have to say his name. you have to be sure.

"yes." he says. that's not a question. he accepts it. he wants it.

you fix his hair, hold his face with gentle hands as you get into his personal space even more. your lips are soft against his, hesitant, unsure and still.

remus lifts his chin to kiss you. the kiss is liquified, you feel it in your veins. he opens his mouth, slowly building something between you. you welcome the kiss with your entire being. you've been wanting it for so long, it doesn't even feel real.

he sighs into the kiss. you are pulled to his chest, his arms holding you as if you'll escape. remus is selfish, he kept himself under control for far too long, he has everything now and he wants more. more of you, more of this kiss, more of sleep in your bed.

"dove-" he sounds sweet under you. you don't break the kiss, the grey of the evening clouds fill your room, and you kiss remus.

"please, remus." you whisper between two short breaths. please, don't think you don't deserve this. you deserve everything. all the best of things.

this time remus knows he has to believe you.

you kiss his chin. the curve of his jawline fits snugly between your lips, he closes his eyes. is this how it's gonna be from now on? he lets you love him the way you want, do anything you want to him.

"we could have this before." you say as you brush your lips on his neck. his heart beats faster under your palm. you kiss the softest skin right there and he tilts his head back.

"i'm sorry." he apologises. it's a genuine apology. sorry for not seeing himself worthy of affection. sorry for making you wait. sorry for being so lost in his head.

"it's okay." you tell him once more this evening. "we still have time."

remus relaxes visibly. his fingers are wrapped around yours. you kiss his collarbone under the fabric of his shirt and he makes a little sound for you. nothing can be compared to this. to be loved by you.

"can i- can i make you a cup of coffee?" he offers. your eyes meet, you press your lips on his before nodding.

knowing he won't leave this time, you sit on your messy bed. remus' warmth lingers. you smile, lovesick and giddy, you need some fresh air.

only in your tank top and sleeping shorts now, you try to relieve your flushed body by opening the window. it's almost five in the evening, the grey clouds greet you with a soft breeze. you sit by the window as you wait for remus.

he comes back with two cups of coffee in his hands. his jeans hang low on his waist, his eyes are so clear. he puts the coffee cups on the tiny table you have. taking a sip from his cup, he reaches for his pocket to get a cigarette.

"you played with my heart rhytm there, you know?" he smirks. it's a boyish smirk and you are charmed forever. "gotta calm myself down."

"with coffee and cigarettes?" you get closer. he takes a long drag.

"we all have our ways."

you sit on his lap, he holds you away from the smoke and close to his chest. fitting like two puzzle pieces, you wait for your coffee to get a little cold to take a sip.

when remus finishes his smoking, he holds your waist with both hands. he looks at your face, he stares, every detail he gets to love freely from now on. your lips curl up nicely for him. he presses you to himself, your lips collide with his neck.

this time, though, he has a different plan. he cups the back of your head gently and gives you a kiss on the chin. you tilt your neck back, he puts his lips on your pulse point. the wind strokes your bare skin. remus licks a thin line on your collarbone before kissing it entirely.

"so soft." he whispers. "i can't believe you're mine."

he brushes his lips on your chest. your legs clench on either side of his thighs. "i've been yours for a very long time." you manage to say.

"i know." he knows alright. "i'm sorry for being a coward."

countless kisses on your skin to atone his sins. your core is pressed tight against him, you feel like you're melting. the fabrics are thin, he's so close. you watch the clouds through a pair of hazy eyes.

"let me have this for now." he pleads. he's almost collapsing, stimulated and he wants to enjoy it, to get lost in those longing minutes. he can't have everything in the same hour.

"just this?" you ask, breathless. remus puts his face on your chest as you pull him in for a hug.

"just this."

for now, it's enough.

[h0neylvst]

he’s so precious i could cry a lil bit

Little sickling

Remus Lupin x fem! sick! reader

Summary: Remus runs his girlfriend a bath when she’s unwell

Warnings/tags: swearing, mentions of eating, being unwell, medication, remus’ furry little problem, treating wounds, nudity, and, talks of sex and attempts at seduction, established relationship, living together, implied reader and remus not being very well off, remus lupin being the sweetest boyfriend

A/n: 3k words, I have been so sick the last couple weeks, I apologise for any errors, this fic is 100% self serving, enjoy ♡

Navigation | Remus Lupin Masterlist

Remus smiles to himself as he walks home, bag of essentials in one hand and flowers in the other. He didn’t know what to expect when he got in, this morning he had left a very adamant you who swore, and he quotes, that she ‘was not getting sick’. As much as he wanted to believe you, your subtle coughs and sniffles were not subtle enough, hence the bags filled with supplies to make easy stews and soups for you to eat, fresh tissues for that sniffly nose, medicine for those headaches, cough syrup that he’ll likely have to bribe you into taking, and lastly, some flowers, though are mostly to make you smile

He doesn’t mind the extra effort, in fact, it brings him an odd sense of joy knowing he’ll be able to look after you for once. Ever since you’ve known him you’ve been looking after him, and now that you both were living together, far from the wizarding world, you’d have to bear the brunt of it all on your own with his friends off living their own lives. It wasn’t that they didn’t care for him anymore, no, he had encouraged them to go live their lives, and while you were supportive of that, he still feels guilty sometimes that he’s locked you into such a life

He breathes a sigh of relief at the sight of your shared home, even if the gutter was hanging off again…least the plants are getting a good water

As he reaches the front door, he places down the bags and flowers softly, rubbing his achy hand from the weight before using them to open the rather stubborn door you both should really fix. With one hand turning the key and the other pulling the door towards him the lock clicks and he can push it open. His theory you were sicker than you were letting on is confirmed when silence greets him on the other end. Usually you’re like a happy little bunny meeting him at the front door, all excited and practically bouncing as you run up to give him a hug. But today he finds a dim hall, only illuminated by the soft light of the living room as the door has been left ajar��

He moves the bags and flowers inside before locking the door behind him and calling out “Love?” but he receives no answer

Abandoning the supplies for a moment he walks towards the light, his smile coming back as he pushes the door open and realises why you were quiet. You’re caught red handed in getting up from the small fort you had created on the couch, smiling shyly as you practically have to wrestle out of the sheer magnitude of blankets you had hoarded

“Hi” you croak a little, embarrassed as you continue to shuffle out 

He wishes you would stay seated and let him come to you, but he doesn’t argue, and instead closes the gap “Hey” he coos “How are you feelin’?” 

You pout as you approach him “Meh” is all you can muster before your head falls instinctively into his chest

He chuckles, opening his jacket fully so you can slip your hands in to steal his warmth as you always did “Poor baby” he kisses the top of your head, bring his arms around you before looking over at your makeshift bed

Frankly it’s a disaster site, from the multiple blankets and pillows thrown together in no particular order, to the loo roll being used as tissue paper. He over looks at the coffee table next, noting some medicine on the table, a good start, followed by some old tea, half eaten toast, along with a couple forgotten books you clearly tried to read but then opted for generic tv instead when you couldn’t concentrate

Out of everything there was only one thing he was going to give you a little row for…

“No water?” he looks down at you

He has to put on his best poker face now as you look up with the most guilty little face

“I had…some” you reply, face giving away your play while your hands falls to begin playing with the rim of his jumper

“Tea doesn’t count…neither does juice or coffee” he adds when you open your mouth to object 

You lower your head to guise your shame “I’m sorry Rem” you mumble 

He can feel the pout through his jumper “I’m not mad, promise” he pulls you back gently, giving you a reassuring look before he eyes you “So…are you going let me look after ya this time?”

You don’t try to pretend like this morning nor argue against him, just nod. Gone is the stubborn girl who swore she was okay and was going to get so much done on her day off, and what remains is a very tired and sick one that just wants coddled by her boyfriend

“Good girl” he moves you back towards the couch “Let's get you hydrated first” he tells you as he encourages you to sit down “When did you last take those?” he gestures to the packet of pills 

Your eyebrows scrunch before you look over towards the clock “Around 11ish, maybe 12?” you shrug softly, giving him a sorry smile for not keeping better track “Is it really 6 already?” you say mostly to yourself before coughing softly

He just kisses your forehead, saying he’ll be right back as he returns to the hall, hanging up his jacket before collecting the bags and taking them into the kitchen. He quickly puts some things that needed to go in the fridge away before grabbing a clean glass and filling it up with some water. While he’s here he grabs a spare vase from under the sink. Usually he would make you a bouquet but today he opted for the quicker version, allowing him to place them in directly and waste no time in returning to you, flowers in one hand, water in the other

You’re right where he left you when he reenters the living room, and he can’t help but find your idling adorable. Rocking your feet back and forth, hands under your thighs as your head looks around the room, eyes wandering like you hadn’t fully decorated the place yourself

“Love” he gently calls, gaining your attention, his smile widening at your little scooch towards him as he joins you on the couch, placing the flowers on the table in front of you along with the water

“You got me flowers?” you cheese, cheeks barely containing your glee

He nods, his heart flipping like he was a schoolboy again at your silly smile “Like em?” he asks even though he already knows the answer

“Very much” you reach out, thump and forefinger softly playing with the petals before you kiss his shoulder “Do they smell as pretty as they look?” you wonder, struggling with your stuffy nose

Remus’ smile sinks to a sympathetic one, arm sliding around your waist “They do” he confirms “And you’ll be able to smell them sooner once you’re hydrated” he pivots the conversation, picking up the glass and handing it to you 

You accept the tumbler with a small eye roll, cupping it as you take small sips, leaning into his side, while Remus’ arm moves upward, hand finding the top of your head, giving you little pets. You cough periodically while you rehydrate, and Remus kisses the side of your head every time you do, after your most recent he nuzzles his nose in a little. You let out a couple of soft hums, the first from the closeness, and the second at the loss of contact when Remus shifts away 

He feels your confused gaze as he walks over to your desk, grabbing the smaller bin as he begins to clear away the coffee table

“You don…” you start but he just gives you a look “...have to do that…” you whisper the rest to yourself but he still hears you 

“I want to” he says simply, placing the bin down beside the table before leaving the room, taking away the old tea with him

When he returns he finds you struggling with your blankets “Let me make you a proper bed, this ones just sad” he teases, ushering you to get up

“You’re sad” you retort quietly, hiding your little smile at the idea of a getting Remus style bed couch

He lets out a breathy laugh that sinks to amusing admiration at your little waddle over to the nearby armchair, water in tow. As he moves all of the blankets to one side, throwing away any tissues that had fallen into them, he notices you bring your feet up to sit on, warming them up after being exposed to the cold floor. 

He picks up one of the spare blankets “Up” he gestures for you to lift up your arms and when you do he drapes the soft material over you “Good girl” he throws you a wink before turning back to the couch, unable to contain his smirk as he hears your little wriggles beneath the blanket at his choice of words

He begins his work, layering the fluffiest of the blankets down, tucking it into the edges of the couch cushions. Next he piles the random assortment of pillows you had hoarded to cradle you, while he takes your favourite blanket and drapes it over, folding it at the top so you can slip in. It’s then he adds the final touches, bringing through a pitcher of water and fresh box of tissues, before flicking on the softer lamp

“There” he says, looking proud of his creation

He looks towards you for confirmation, finding you smiling sweetly at him before sipping your water again, doing your best to hold back the coughs that threaten bubble over

“Doing alright love” he kneels down, hand finding your thigh through the plush material

You nod but then wear a slightly embarrassed smile 

“What’s wrong? You want the bigger blanket” he rubs your legs, worried there's a draft he’s not noticed

“Rem…do I smell?” you blurt out, pursing your lips a little “I feel stinky” you confess, nose all scrunched

He does his best not to chuckle, especially as he notices a stray hair that’s falling forward like a depressed little unicorn

“Hmmm” he leans forward “Let me see” he begins to dramatically sniff around you, basking in your croaky giggles before he widens his eyes “Oh my!” he pretends to faint from the smell, head falling into you lap

“Rem!” you huff, shoving him a little before you cough again “Remmy!” you shake him again, your tone in time with the shakes but your coughs get the better of you and it soon turns into a small fit

“Oh…hun” he feels guilty as he lifts his head, shifting to sit on the arm of the chair as he rubs your back softly “Slow breaths, you’re gonna be okay I promise” he assures noticing your slight distress as you struggle to catch your breath

When your breathing stabilises you lean into him “And you say I’ll be the death of you” you meekly chuckle, earning you a kiss to the head

Once he’s sure you’re okay Remus stands “Come on” he helps you up “I’ll run you a bath…” he tells you before adding the next part with a grin “...it’ll help you feel less stinky” 

You roll your eyes before your expression drops, realising he said ‘you’ and not ‘we’ just now “You aren’t going to join me?” you say, reaching what must reaching a record breaking amount of pouts in one day 

He shakes his head “Sorry love, not this time” he flicks his thumb across your cheek before taking your hand again “That alright?” he starts to lead you

After a semi grumpy ‘hmph’ but allow him to take you upstairs. As you enter the bathroom he sits you down at the end of the tub, feeling your eyes as he goes into the cupboard to fetch you a towel, catching you leaning forward to continue watching as he heads into the bedroom to fetch you fresh clothes, and by clothes a set of his old pjs

“I brought you some underwear if you want it” he gestures to the delicates, well…more delicate as he’s already correctly assumed you probably wouldn’t want a bra

“Thanks” you smile at him, standing to give him a proper kiss but he turns his head at the last minute causing you to miss, catching his cheek instead “Remmy!” you scold in the quietest little voice as not to induce another coughing fit

He chuckles “Sorry little sickling” he pats your head “Can’t have us both sick” he explains “Be tragic”

You cross your arms “I’m not a sickling” you grumble, looking away for a moment before you attempt to broker “One” you plead, but he doesn’t budge “Please…pretty please…chocolate on top?”

It kills him to deny you, especially when you look at him like that…and offer hi chocolate, but he could only have one sickling in this house at a time, and far to often does he take up that mantle

“Bath first, then you can try negotiating little sickling” he uses the nickname again, revealing in how it annoys you in the cutest way

After one last attempt with those eyes you give in, shoulders slumping as you mutter a small ‘fine’d’, moving around him to begin underdressing. Remus takes that as a cue to take your place at the tub, sitting closer to the tap as he runs you your bath, fingers softly flicking under the running water as he waits for it to heat

“Rem honey?” you attempt gain his attention after a couple minutes

I know that tone

“Reeemmm” he can just imagine the poses

He hangs his head a little, smirking to himself, he had to admire your attempts. Still, he lives to annoy you even if you were to quote future you ‘mortally wounded’, so he leaves you to stew a little, focusing on placing the plug in the drain, and pouring some of your favourite smellies and salts in. It’s only after you let out another ‘hmph’ that his body pulses a laugh, failing to hold it in as you must resemble a bunny thumping when their mad or want attention, in fact he’s surprised he didn’t hear your foot stomp

“Lov…” he turns around, words leaving him as he can’t stop the loving smirk at your figure “No” he says half heartedly

“Please” you bring your arms a little closer to your sides, accentuating two particular assets

Remus meant when he said the sight of both of you sick would be tragic but he’s losing that battle with how good you look as you try to seduce him into giving you a kiss…or the getting in the bath with you…or both, probably both

“Rem!” you whine, scrunching your face before your eyes light up turning around, wiggling

He takes a moment to admire the jiggle before he stands, wrapping his arms around you, causing you to turn and face him, a winning smile on your face but it falls as he tilts his head, giving you a downturned smile

“Did it work even a little bit?” you sulk

He chuckles, fingers raking through your hair, being careful of the tugs that have formed “If you weren’t sick love I’d be afraid of flooding the bathroom with how quickly you would have gotten dragged over there” he nods across the hall, causing you to shyly smile “I promise you’ll get all the real kisses you want once you recover” 

“Plus interest?” you pose, rocking on your toes as you bite your lip a little, and he’s suddenly aware of the double meaning in your tone

Merlin he could fall in love with you all over again

“Plus interest” he agrees with a chuckle, giving you a big smile and kiss to the top of your head before turning back to the bath before it really does overflow

Leaning back over the tub he turns off the tap, pulling the sleeves of his jumper up as he checks the temperature and gently mixes in the soap. Once he’s happy with the water to bubbles ratio he wipes the soap that clings to his forearms and reaches out towards you

“Ready love?” 

You nod, taking his hands and letting him guide you carefully into the tub. A hiss escapes your lips as your foot touches the water, taking a moment to adjust to the temperature, while Remus, ever the gentlemen, Remus keeps a steady hold on you as you sink in fully, and once you’re settled he gently gathers your hair, securing it out of the way before it has a chance to dip into the water, he would help you wash it later

“The steam will help clear your sinuses while I make us some dinner” he tells you as he kneels next to the tub, the backs of his fingers finding your cheek for a moment “I got you”

You lean into it, getting shy under his care “You’re too sweet” you bring your knees up to your chest

Remus’ lips part at the use of his monthly catchphrase being used against him. You were always to patient when he was a grumpy old sod before his transformations, and so sweet and gentle after them, making him warm food, tending to his wounds, kissing everything better

Time to return the favour

He brings his lips to the corner of your own, lingering there before he uses your own words against you “Just treating you the way you deserve” he plants another to your temple then stands “I’ll be back soon” 

You give him a small nod, coughing gently “Thank you Remmy” you smile, practically melting into the tub “”I love you

“I love you more…” he blows you a kiss before he leaves, but just before the door closes he adds “...my little sickling” 

“REM!”

Thank you for reading ♡

[h0neylvst]

*chefs kiss* 🤌🤌

Guess? - Sirius Black

Summary: Sirius loves to guess the color of his girlfriends underwear

Warnings: suggestive, allusions to sex but not the actual act (foreplay), drinking, female reader

Word count: about 1500

A/N (Please read!): Hello!! Okay, I haven’t written anything in close to 7 years and never on this blog so fair warning for everything that follows. I’ve also never written anything smutty before so again, sorry if this is terrible🤍 I would like to continue with writing on this blog but would love to hear any thoughts you have when reading this! English isn’t my first language so warning for that too.

Again, I haven’t written in several years so preemptive excuses for any mistakes. I’ve just been listening to Charli’s guess a lot, and the marauders are my current muses so🤷🏽‍♀️, enjoy I guess!

(This was also written on mobile so again, again, again -Sorry!)

It’s unlike Sirius to be so disenchanted with the lively atmosphere of Londons nightlife. but on this specific outing he can hardly be at blame for the daze clouding his mind.

There’s a step down from the bar area to the dance floor, giving those lingering by the bar an overlook of the crowd dancing the night away. Sirius takes a sip from the bottle he ordered from the bar, the fizzy liquid does little to quell his racing pulse.

His eyes scan over the crowd for a short instant, he didn’t need to search particularly hard before he zeroes in on one person in particular. Your hair catches the color changing lights as it sways with your carefree movements, the pinstripe pants clings to your hips and bottom in a way that makes Sirius’ mouth dry up quickly despite his attempts to water it with the bottle in his hand, a hand coming up to tug a lock of dark hair behind his hair.

The black vest you recently purchased clung nicely to your body, accentuating your chest in a way that made his jeans tighten.

Sirius’ eyes swept over your frame several times before they once again focused on your hips. The pants were a favorite of his, and although floor length pants in any other circumstance may be a more modest clothing item, the pinstripe pattern stretched deliciously over your ass making Sirius tighten his grip on the bottleneck.

Sirius was enchanted with the sight on the dance floor, your hips swaying to the beat of the music. Despite the wonderful sight in front of him, Sirius couldn’t help his imaginative mind from wondering what might hide beneath those pants he was so infatuated with. The longer Sirius’ eyed your dancing form, the further his mind wandered from the London club. If you had gotten ready at your shared apartment he would have had the luxury to participate in your pre-party routine. Your usual shared routine having been passed over in favor of you getting ready at Marlenes, the birthday girl having summoned her closest girlfriends for pregames at her apartment.

Sirius was obviously no stranger to the body beneath your clothes. Much to the annoyance of the rest of the marauders who had been forced to listen to him wax poetically about your legs, the curve of your arms, and that oh so pretty neck of yours. No, Sirius was no stranger to your body. But standing here in this nightclub, Sirius liked to imagine what you were hiding under your pants.

Was it the pretty pink pair he had picked up a few months back? The ones with the matching bra? He recalls how your face had flushed when he held up the magenta colored piece of fabric, and how you had tried to argue that you were in no need for even more clothes, but had shut up when he so easily countered that ��darling, I’m a selfish man, if anything this are more for me than they are for you”. And true to his words, Sirius was more than satisfied with the way the pretty pink had laid against your skin. His hands had mapped out every crease and crevice of your lingerie clad body later that night.

The jeans he had chosen for tonight suddenly felt even tighter than they had a minute ago. His eyes still never leaving his dancing girlfriend. But ones again they drifted down to your ass. Maybe you had forgone the pink pair today, he can recall that you wore them not too long ago to a date night. Perhaps you had decided on the nude colored ones, the ones that give the illusion that you weren’t wearing any at all?

Sirius thinks back to several weeks ago, on one of those odd mornings where he had been up with the sun, leaving you to rest for a little while longer. He had sat by the kitchen window sipping his morning coffee and looking out onto the street below, anything but envious as he watched passersby fight against the cold winds of a rainy morning. He had greeted you with a smile when as you joined him in the kitchen, the pajama pants you’d borrowed from him hung low on your hips. Sirius eyed you with that same easy smile as you walked over to the counter to get your own cup.

His breath had however caught in his throat when you had reached up into the cupboard for your favorite mug. The simple t-shirt you were wearing rising up. From where he sat a couple meters from you it appeared that you had forgone wearing underwear under the borrowed pajama pants. The image had had his boxers tighten slightly and distracted him enough to the point where he barely noticed that you had turned around to lean against the counter, your coffee mug nestled in your hands.

His attention drew back to your face as you addressed him by name, “hmm what was that darling?“

“oh nothing Siri, you just seemed distracted“. Sirius licked his lips, his own mug long forgotten on the kitchen table. His eyes drew back to your face as his lips curled into a confident smirk, “You know I’m always distracted when you’re around love“ he spoke lowly as you hid behind your coffee mug, “did you forget your underwear this morning darling?“ he had continued in an attempt to fluster you further. Your brows had furrowed, “what do you mean?“, you lifted your t-shirt to above your bellybutton reveling the skin colored sheer pair you were wearing, Sirius’ eyes darkening at the action. “I guess they kind of look see through“ you had chuckled before taking another sip.

Your brows had furrowed when your usually talkative boyfriend hadn’t answered with a quip of his own. Your mug lowering to reveal the hungry look in his eyes, the tight fabric around his crotch indicating that the otherwise quiet morning wouldn’t last very much longer.

“Careful, anyone who doesn’t know you might think you’re an ogling creep“ Sirius couldn’t have hindered how his body jumped as Lily appeared at his side, a self-satisfied smirk taking over her face at having successfully frightened the otherwise confident man. “har-har Evans, I happen to know someone even worse than me“. Lily chuckled as he tried to divert the attention towards James and away from himself, “She looks good tonight” she continued, ignoring his attempted diversion.

Sirius’ attention returned to your smiley face, your body swaying with the music as you and Marlene serenaded each other the song currently playing from the speakers, your hands outstretched towards one another. Even if he had tried to, Sirius doubted he could’ve stopped the genuine smile that stretched wide over his lips, pointedly ignoring how Lily muttered a short ‘whipped’ before leaving him alone once again, that previous smile never leaving her own lips. Sirius could barely wait to get you alone, suddenly thankful that the taunt fabric of his jeans hid at least some of his growing affection.

-

Later in the evening, as Sirius has you laid out in front of him on your shared bed, your heaving chests pressed tightly against each other as you seem to breathe in tandem. Sirius’ lips briefly leave yours in favor of roaming your neck, leaving teasing nips at your skin. Your heavy breaths intermingled with soft moans when bites down particularly hard at the junction between your neck and shoulder. The sounds are music to his ears as he works your pants zipper down, the buttons of your vest top already having been worked open in the hallway, a darkening mark just above the cup of your bra replacing the fabric that had previously covered that spot.

A particular high moan pulls Sirius away from your neck, admiring the tiny bite marks he’s left behind. He straightens up between your legs at the foot of the bed. Sirius looks at your face, the adoration in your eyes make him simultaneously want to melt through the floor boards and scream at the top of his lungs, happiness radiating off of him in waves.

His eyes travel down your body for the millionth time today as his hands finish pulling down the zipper, a gentle pat at your thigh signaling for you to raise your hips as he works your pants down your legs, they’re discarded in a pile on the bedroom floor as his attention once again this evening returns to your hips, this time unhindered by any fabric as he takes in the lacy black material of your underwear. Trailing his fingers along the waistband and over the little bows sitting at both sides just above your hip bone.

The soft wine of his name finally pulls Sirius’s attention back to you. The pupils of his eyes having nearly taken over that lovely shade of grey you’re so used to. His grin widens when your eyes meet, you beckon him back up to your lips, desperate to feel the closeness he’s depriving you of.

But you can’t be to upset when instead of crawling back up to your lips he sinks to the floor on his knees, his hands and eyes once again returning to your underwear.

Perhaps he was wrong in his guesses at the club, but Sirius can’t seem to pay any mind to that right now. Not when your breathy calls of his name intermingles with the soft moans of earlier.

[h0neylvst]

eheheh, giggling so hard 🤭🙂‍↕️💪😌

remus lupin x reader

(not proofread, sozz)

Where he came from you weren’t exactly sure. But you were never going to be able to thank him enough for coming when he did.

You’d been stuck against the wall at the club for at least twenty minutes, feeling caged in by some guy who clearly could not take a hint. You had an arm crossed over your body the other holding your drink close to your face; essentially blocking your lips from any possibility.

The unwanted man leaned in towards you once more. A moist and heated whisper brushed against the shell of your ear of what he thought of you and it sent chills down your spine that he clearly mistook for a shiver of anticipated attraction.

“Godric’s sake, there you are, Dovey,” the arm of a very tall, and quite fit if you did say so yourself, man wrapped itself around your shoulders while simultaneously pushing Mr. Creepball's face away from you. "Y'mind, mate? She's taken and clearly uninterested in the likes of you."

Mr. Creepball scowled, eyeing your new savior up and down. You tried to subtly do the same in which you hoped did not look like your first time observing. His sandy colored hair was tousled and messy. He had a few scars on his face; the one across his lip stretched thin as he smirked at the man.

Your previous problem was not impressed, "Who the fuck are you?" Your savior smiled at this, and you'd be lying if you tried to deny just how weak it made your knees, "Oh, I'm Remus. Don't bother with yours, though. Don't care. You ready to go back to our friends, Dove?"

You gave Remus a shy nod before he attempted to guide you away just for the creeper to grab hold of Remus's shoulder. "Don't buy it," the creep said. Remus gave him a confused look, giving you a side glance before rolling his eyes.

"We aren't selling you shit. Now leave us alone, you're starting to make me annoyed," Remus went to step away from the wall, only from the man to step in front of him. "She's no more yours than she was mine, I had first claims. So give her up," the man looked you up and down, his demeanor doing nothing to calm your nerves.

Remus barked out a laugh, only making the man scowl more intense. "Merlin, you're serious aren't you. For fucks sake," Remus kept his arm around your shoulders as he wrapped his free hand at the base of your jaw, "Y'mind, Dovey?" He gave you a wink and you instantly nodded.

With a firm but gentle grip Remus pulled your face to his, the fluttering feeling in your stomach only intensifying as the space between the two of you disappears. It's unhurried, growing achingly slow as Remus flattens his tongue against your bottom lip.

The slightest of pressure on your jaw has your lips parting and you let him lick into your mouth. A rumble in your throat akin to that of a moan embarrassingly escapes and you can't find it in your thoughts to care as you grip onto the collar of his flannel to pull him closer, deeper.

You feel him smiling against your lips at your eagerness, pushing you back against the wall you were previously not so fond of. But now, now your'd be damned if you were removed from it.

"Oi, Moons! Who the bloody fuck are you snogging?" There's a shouting behind Remus that has him detaching from you with a groan and a grin and, Merlin, if it wasn't the prettiest thing you've seen all night. "Okay, dove," Remus lets the pet name fall from his lips again before peppering your neck and jawline with a few kisses, "Wanna properly introduce yourself to me before you're forced to meet my friends?"

[h0neylvst]

we all could use a remus in the passenger seat 😋😋

i was wondering if you could do a softdom!remus x fem!reader like drabble? and i wanted it to be something about driving bc i am really nervous when i drive (even at 22) and i was wondering how remus would help with that?

Ty

cw: driving anxiety, anxiety in general, Remus being a bit stern but he loves us I promise

soft dom!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 500 words

“Breathe,” Remus reminds you. 

You try, but it gets caught in your throat when the car in front of you brakes abruptly. “Shit,” you hiss over the hammering of rain on your windshield. “I can’t do this.” 

Traffic starts moving again. You hardly take your foot off the brake, trying to put distance between you and the car in front of you. In your rear view mirror, another set of headlights glares at you, insistently close. Remus’ hand covers your thigh.

“You can,” he says soothingly. “Take it at your own pace.” 

You take your lip between your teeth. You can hardly see twenty feet in front of you through the downpour, the brake lights ahead an indistinct smear of red. You’re terrified of hydroplaning. 

“Sweetheart.” Remus sounds almost amused. “Breathe.” 

You let your air out in a long whoosh. His thumb strokes just above your knee, but your entire body stays tensed nonetheless. 

“You can’t keep holding your breath like that,” he chides. “You’re alright.” 

“The guy behind me seems angry,” you worry. 

Remus turns around, noting the headlights pressing close to your car’s rear. He frowns. 

“If he’s really upset, he’ll go around,” he says. “You’re not doing anything wrong, dove. That’s our junction coming up anyway, J5.” 

You shrill. “What? I don’t have time to get over!”

“You do,” Remus says placidly, “but you don’t have to if you don’t think you can.” 

“Of course I have to.” You flip your signal on, checking your mirrors desperately for an opening as the junction approaches. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me until just now!”

“Oi.” Remus gives your thigh a warning squeeze. “Calm down. I didn’t think you’d need more time than this, but it’s fine.” 

“I don’t see a place to get over,” you fret, though you’re minding your tone a bit more carefully now. 

“That’s fine, dove. Take your time. It’s not the end of the world if we can’t make it.” 

“You mean we just miss it?” You’re still looking for a chance, though losing hope now. The flow of cars seems endless. 

“Yes,” he says sternly. “Take the next one. We’ll still get there.”  

“Oh.” You let out a breath, relaxing some. “Okay.” 

“There. You were doing it again, see?” Remus’ hand leaves your leg, coming instead to rub between your shoulder blades. “Stop holding your breath. Just take whatever time you need to make good decisions.” 

“Okay,” you say again. You lean back into Remus’ palm, and he huffs a laugh, rubbing more firmly. “Okay, yeah. Sorry I snapped at you.” 

A low hum. “You’re alright. We’ll call it extenuating circumstances, but just this once, yeah?” 

“Okay, thanks. Sorry.” 

“It’s forgiven, sweetheart.” 

Finally, there’s space to move into the next lane. You signal. “I can take this exit here?” 

“Mhm.” 

You slide into the opening seamlessly, loosing another breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Your eyes slide to Remus guiltily. 

He laughs, rubbing between your shoulders. “That’s it. Keep going, dove.”

[h0neylvst]

stop it you read my mind!! I saw the original post and immediately thought of rem and shy!reader 🤭😌

can we please leave?

Remus Lupin x shy!reader who would really like to leave the party [389 words]

CW: fem!reader, party games, drinking, beer pong, introverted/shy reader, based off of this post

James’ ball sunk into Sirius’ final cup, eliciting a round of cheers from various partygoers and a devastated groan from Sirius.

“I think you just need to cede to my greatness, young Pad-iwan.” James exclaimed theatrically as though announcing a royal proclamation from across the beer soaked table. 

“I think you should suck my dick.” Sirius bit back with a good natured smirk on his face before dutifully throwing back the final cup of beer from their game of beer pong. 

“What about you, Moons? You up to getting your ass kicked?” James asked with a cocky smirk; Remus was quickly shaking his head. 

“Not a chance.” He replied, lowering his voice before asking “have you seen my girlfriend, though?”

As though you’d been simply standing at the sidelines waiting for your name to be called, Remus felt you snuggle into his side and under his arm. 

“Where'd you get off to, dovey?” He asked around a laugh as he placed a kiss to the crown of your head. You shrugged your shoulders in faux nonchalance. 

“Around.”

Hiding, Remus translated, pressing another kiss to your hair in apology even though he knew you were probably very content sequestered away in James and Lily’s bedroom with the company of their cat Crookshanks. 

He was about to ask you if you were ready to go when his name was being shouted. 

“I thought Remus was up!” Sirius bellowed, looking very put out that he was publicly put to shame by one of his best mates. “I can’t be the only loser!”

“Who says I would’ve lost?” Remus countered, earning him a round of ‘oooh’s. 

“Show us what you’ve got then.” He taunted, but Remus felt something nudge his side, looking down to find you holding your phone out so he could read your screen. 

“Go lick your wounds, Pads, and come back for the next round.” He called out flippantly as he brought your phone up to his face. 

Can we please please leave now? And also maybe stop at taco bell? They have a new menu. 

He was smiling down at your screen before you hastily swiped it from him to add another line.

I’ll pay. 

Remus let out a sharp, surprised laugh at that which saw you shrinking under a number of gazes drawn your way. 

“You drive a hard bargain, dove, but if you insist.”

[h0neylvst]

sleepy, morning!james will always hit 🙉🙉

𝚏𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚜

��� james potter x reader ⟢ you and james steal five extra minutes together before waking up for the day ⊹ 679 ⟢ warnings/tags: wrote a while ago and only skimmed it so lmk if i missed anything and need to change it to fem!reader please ⟢ note: i wrote this a while back & didn't love it so i kept it to myself but i figured it was time to get back to posting fics so here you go! hope it's alright <3

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

You’re all tangled limbs and quiet breaths as the first morning light shines upon you and James. The blinds filter in slivers of soft light that your tired eyes find piercing, and you find that keeping your eyes closed is much more comfortable.

You swore to yourself that you wouldn’t fall back asleep— you’ll simply rest your eyes for a little longer. But the way James cards his fingers through your hair and massages your scalp makes that task exceptionally hard.

You shift, stretching out your limbs a little as to not let yourself lull back to sleep. James mistakes your movement for you preparing to rise for the morning, and he presses you closer with the hand tangled in your hair, a protesting hum reverberating in his throat.

As a promise that you’re not going anywhere, you nuzzle closer and press a kiss to his chest where your head lies. He returns the favor, lifting up from the pillows to kiss the crown of your head.

Just as he settles back into the plush pillows, the sudden sound of your alarm blares, interrupting the peaceful silence of your bedroom. It only lasts a second, though, as your phone is tucked in James’ free hand, his thumb lying in wait over the power button to trigger the snooze feature at a moment’s notice.

This is how it goes almost every morning. You’re more of a night owl, never wanting to wake until you have to. And James, although he could easily rise even earlier than the sun itself, he simply can’t get enough of you. Given these two truths, you’ve had to start setting alarms much earlier than your actual wake up time.

There’s about five more minutes left to steal before you’ll have to get up. Knowing this, James sighs deeply, wanting nothing more than to forfeit all of his responsibilities and remain cozied up with you all day.

He adjusts his positing, scooting down the bed until his head rests comfortably just above yours. He bends his neck to press his face into your hair. You feel him leave another kiss on the top of your head as he inhales, drinking in the scent of your coconut shampoo.

His hand has travels down to the back of your neck, his fingers applying a comfortable pressure to keep you close. His other hand swings around and lands on your waist. He’s abandoned the phone on the mattress beside him, knowing he’ll have to let the next alarm ring out a few times anyway to get you both moving for the morning.

“What time is it?” you mumble tiredly as his hand tugs at your t-shirt until it’s ridden up enough for him to be able to trace shapes into your bare hip. The cold air and his feather light touch make you shiver.

“We ‘ave plenty of time,” he murmurs before taking another deep breath. “You smell nice.”

“Thank you. New shampoo.”

“I like it.”

You hum appreciatively and the conversation ends there, another comfortable silence settling over you as you enjoy your last moments of peace.

James flattens his hand against your skin, rubbing back and forth from your hip to your back, and sometimes traveling lower to smooth over the curve of your bum. You tsk when he delivers a little squeeze, and after a farewell pat to your backside, his hand travels back to your waist.

Suddenly, the alarm blares again and James lets it ring. You huff when your ears aren’t immediately relieved of the jarring sound. With a groan you push yourself up onto your elbow, reaching over James to turn off the alarm once and for all.

As soon as you click “stop” James captures you by the waist and pulls you on top of him. You swing a leg over him so that you straddle his hips.

He pulls you in by the back of your neck, pressing a lasting kiss to your lips, which he follows up with a peck to the tip of your nose.

“Good morning, m’love.”

“Morning Jamie.”

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

[h0neylvst]

Guys what accents are we giving the marauders and the skittles etc?

I feel like I go though 80 accents when reading fics I’m wondering if there’s a common consensus (other than welsh Remus 😌)

[h0neylvst]

I have no words. I love barty. This is everything. 🤌🤌🤌

hiii <33

first i want to say that i absolutely ADORE your page on here, your writing is just wow, perfection!! i really liked your sirius story (even tho i strayed off a bit and started liking rabastan too ahahahah-) it's amazing omg

and i was wondering would you be up for writing for barty? anything with him honestly lol, but if you don't have any ideas feel free to ignore this!

SAY LESSSSSSS (I've been dying for someone to request Barty or rosekiller pls send all the requests). Also! so glad you enjoyed that fic! (I played myself and kinda fell for Rab too 😬)

I Wanna Be Yours | BCJ

feat. Barty Crouch Jr. x blackcat!reader

SUMMARY: Barty is determined to win your affection, but due to his larger-than-life personality and your aloof nature, you find it difficult to trust his intentions.

CW: MDNI 18+, smut, pov switches once, a little angst and a little fluff, blackcat!reader, artist!Barty, only soft for each other, mentions of drinking and drug use, strong language, sort of insecure!reader, Barty is a giant simp

AN: i'm having my scene music renaissance, and something about that era is so Barty-coded. I have a few other songs that suit him in my mind, but I'd love to hear any ideas you guys might have!

“Honestly, I don't know what Slughorn’s problem is. If I want to make a love potion that makes Xeno hard for four days, I can—”

“Four days and I would die of deprivation,” Xenophilius chuckled, his arm draped over Pandora's shoulders.

“Sure, but what a way to go.”

You walked beside them, half-listening to their sugar-dipped conversation, equal parts disgusted and deeply jealous. You'd never admit it, but you so badly wanted what your best friend had. Devotion, affection, complete and total acceptance. But you walked through life like a spring-loaded trap, biting the fingers off anyone that dared come close.

“Should we grab dinner before heading to the library? I'm starved,” Pandora said, turning her attention to you.

“Sure, it's probably quiet this early anyways—”

“Going to dinner, are we?” Evan bound up between Xeno and Pandora, throwing his arms over their shoulders. “I'm fucking ravenous.”

Two arms looped around your waist, hauling you back into a solid chest. The familiar scent of clove cigarettes and paint enveloped you, as if you needed any clues to know exactly who had the audacity to handle you so boldy.

“As am I,” Barty purred against the shell of your ear.

You wriggled in his hold, slapping at his forearms until he released you. “Not in the mood, Junior,” you warned, ignoring the way your stomach flipped when you met his dark eyes, eyeliner smudged along his lashes.

“Aw, don't be cross, gorgeous. You looked like you needed a hug,” he teased, he falling into step between you and Pandora, slowing his natural gait considerably. He snatched your books from your arms, ignoring your protest and cradling them against his chest. He was dressed in a white dress shirt and a Slytherin vest, his tie loose and sleeves pushed up, hand-poked tattoos sprawling and dark against his forearms.

“I'm fairly certain she needs a hug as much as she needs your dumbass in her space,” Pandora said, rolling her eyes. “Which is not at all.”

“Oh, she needs me.” Barty grinned. “She just doesn't know it yet.”

“Give it a rest, Crouch,” Xeno cut in. “Keep pushing her and you'll end up on the bottom of the Black Lake.”

“Oh, how exciting! How will you do it, treasure? Stabbing? Maiming? Choking? Oh Merlin’s fuck, please say choking—”

“Maiming sounds about right,” you bit, attempting to get your books back, but he was far too tall, holding them way above your head. You wouldn't give him the satisfaction of jumping for it, and crossed your arms over your chest with a huff.

“You can maim me whenever you like,” he said, a cheeky smirk on his stupid, handsome face. “Will you do it now if I ask nicely?”

You ignored him, looking forward again.

Barty Crouch Jr. loved nothing more than fucking with you, finding the gaps in your armor and trying to pry them open. But no matter how attractive you found him, because saints was he attractive, or how endearing he could be in the in-between moments, you refused to play his game.

You would not be made a fool of, not like every other person he set his sights on and got bored with a week later.

“So are we eating or what?” Evan asked, walking backwards at the front of the group. Any student unfortunate enough to be in his path quickly scurried out of it, cowed by the Slytherin's reputation for retaliation.

You watched them shrink away from Barty too, who clearly got some sick sense of pleasure from it. He even bared his teeth at a Gryffindor that veered to close to you, flipping your bodies around so he was on the outside and you were next to Pandora again.

“I'm actually going to head back to the dorm,” you said, slowing so you fell out of line with them. “See you later?” You said to Pandora, who gave you a tight frown.

“Are you sure?” She asked, tilting her head like an avian.

“Yeah, you guys enjoy,” you said, pretending you didn't see the disappointment flash across Barty’s face as you turned on your heel, letting the opposite flow of students sweep you up and away from your friends.

The truth was, Barty scared the shit out of you. He was everything you weren't: outgoing, bold, rebellious, and just charming enough to get himself out of whatever mess he and Evan made. And for whatever reason, he was obsessed with pushing your buttons. And he did, with infuriating efficiency.

Pandora insisted it was all in good fun, that he was harmless, but you knew better. You saw the way he manipulated others to get what he wanted, the way he masked his calculation with charisma.

Barty Crouch Jr. was far from harmless, and even if he had his friends fooled, he would not fool you.

Barty's POV

Barty watched your head bob away through the crowded corridor, your books still heavy in his arms and guilt gnawing a hole in his chest.

Why couldn't he just fucking control himself? He felt like a noxious ball of energy, filling whatever available space he could, unable to contain his own impulses, a slave to his own existence.

He just wanted you so badly. You occupied every part of his mind, owned every thump of his wretched, ruined heart. He was irrevocably, intrinsically yours, but you couldn't stand him, and it was largely his own damn fault.

Because he was broken. Couldn't hold a normal conversation. Couldn't flirt in a way that wasn't deeply vulnerable, or obscene and intense. For Merlin’s sake, he'd begged you to choke him just now.

You were a fix he couldn't get, so he was suffering withdrawals from a drug he never had. He was going mad with it, the desperation for your attention. He would do anything to hear you say his name, to occupy an ounce of space in that beautiful brain, even if meant looking like an idiot. Like a psycho.

It was worth it just to have you look.

After dinner, the four of them returned to the Slytherin common room, Barty still carrying your books with a wrapped bundle on top. Every step towards your shared dorm with Pandora made his heart beat faster, a nervous sweat collecting along his spine.

Nothing made him nervous like you did.

Barty walked into the room last, his eyes immediately drifting towards your bed even though he tried to resist. You were curled up against a pile of pillows, surrounded by parchment and open books, your quill scribbling furiously across the page in your lap.

You glanced up when they entered, meeting his eyes for a split second, low-lidded and disinterested, per usual, and turned your attention back to your work.

The dismissal itched like a bug under his skin, his blood going hot and tingly. He needed you to look at him again.

He set your books on your desk and kicked off his shoes, flopping onto your bed before he really thought about it. It was softer than his, covered with quilts and pillows, and he noticed a little stuffed cat tucked away under your covers. He could smell you all around him, so sweet and warm, and whatever rationality he had left dissolved into goo.

“Who invited you?” You snapped, shoving at his shoulder with little success. A swell of affection at your pitiful attempt made his heart beat quicken, you were just so fucking cute.

He set the paper bundle on your chest. “Thought you might be hungry, sweetness,” he said, hugging one of your pillows to his chest.

Merlin, you were so beautiful when you glared at him like that. He filed the image away for later, mentally sifting through his paint collection for the perfect shade to match your pout.

You looked a bit perplexed at the package, almost angry, and his anxiety returned, fighting through the haze caused by your proximity. “You brought me food?”

He nodded, biting back ‘and dessert too’. He wanted you to actually eat the food, not throw it at his head.

Hesitantly, you unfolded the bundle, as if he'd given you something rotten, or was pulling a prank. It made his lungs squeeze with guilt. He was shitty to a lot of people, most people. But not to you, never you.

Your brow softened with relief when you realized it was just a sandwich, before quickly furrowing again. He wanted to smooth it with his lips, kiss you until it never creased with worry again.

“I'm not hungry,” you said, setting the bag on the side table. A twinge of hurt stabbed between his ribs, but didn't let his smile falter. He knew that's what you would say. And he also knew you would eat it later, when no one was around to see you accept a small gesture of kindness.

That was good enough for him.

You slid out of your bed, leaving his side cold, and he stretched out against your sheets, wallowing in your residual warmth like a niffler in a pile of gold.

The others chatted around you, Xeno lighting up a joint by the cracked window, but you sat down at your desk, turning back to your work and tuning them out.

Barty sighed, letting his eyes flutter closed so he could pretend he was wrapped in you body instead of your sheets, his nose buried into your hair instead of your pillow.

Reader's POV

You and Pandora walked arm in arm into the library, chatting about the idiots in your Transfiguration class. You were headed to your usual spot at the back of library, a collection of over stuffed chairs by a stained glass window overlooking the Forbidden Forest, and stopped short when you saw Regulus, Evan, and Barty already there.

Barty was reclined in the window, his long legs propped up against the other side, a sketchbook in his lap, quill between his teeth.

“Excuse the hell out of me,” Pandora said, startling them all from their abnormal quiet.

Barty's head snapped up, his eyes immediately landing on you, and he about fell out of the window.

“What? Like you own this table?” Evan drawled, not looking up from his book,his expensive loafers propped up on the table.

“Yes,” Pandora shot back, dropping down beside him and pulling out her books with clear agitation. "So if you're staying, keep your mouth shut."

Evan mimed zipping his lips and crossed his heart. Barty just turned back to his sketchbook instead of sauntering over to you with some cheeky quip on his tongue.

A prickle of uncertainty climbed your neck. Perhaps you really had upset him about that sandwich. You wish you hadn't said you were hungry as soon as it came out of your mouth, but you were too proud to apologize. You were so stunned by the gesture, so overwhelmed by his body pressed against you, his warmth mixing with yours, that you clammed up. Shut him down.

But even now, you couldn't bring yourself to approach him and apologize. Thank him. So, you sat down beside Regulus, the only other member of the group you found tolerable most of the time, and he greeted you with a dip of his chin.

You pulled out your work, determined to pretend Barty wasn't there at all.

Of course, you failed. Your eye kept wandering back to him, his sharp jaw silhouetted by the light, his pierced brow furrowed in concentration as his hand moved across the page, silver rings adorning ink stained fingers. He was dressed down today, jeans and Slytherin sweater, the collar of his shirt underneath it crooked.

After an hour or so of quiet, he dozed off, his head lolled against the window, quill dangling loosely in his fingers. Barty did that a lot, slept in unusual places at unusual times when the quiet dragged on a little too long. Evan mentioned once that Barty struggled to sleep at night, insomnia or something, and even the draughts Madam Pomfry made him only worked sometimes.

Unable to quell your curiosity, you got up to retrieve another book, brushing past him and sparing a glance down at his sketchbook. Your own face stared back at you, framed with rough sketches of your hands, your eyes, the bow of your lips.

Your heart gave a painful lurch, a burst of affection making your bones soften, and you nearly stumbled over the carpet, catching yourself on the bookshelf at the last second.

You hurried down another row, praying none of your friends saw you, and braced yourself against the shelf.

Did Barty like you? Like, actually like you? You couldn't fathom it. It didn't make sense. You weren't kind to him, or outgoing, or special. He was all of those things and more, the most fascinating, maddening, all-consuming person you'd ever met in your life.

Surely, he didn't see all of those things in you? But why would he draw you if he didn't see something of interest? Something he liked?

Fuck, you couldn't breathe in this stuffy library. You needed air.

You steeled yourself and walked back to the table, collecting your things.

“Something wrong, y/n?” Regulus asked, always too perceptive, and Barty stirred, picking his head up from the wall to peer at you through drowsy eyes.

“Nothing, I—”

Barty slid off the window and you lost your train of thought, heat scorching your cheeks. “Rushing off to hang out with your more interesting friends?” Barty asked, his voice a little gruff from his brief nap.

“More interesting friends? Not at Hogwarts,” Evan chuckled. “We're as interesting as it gets.”

“If you're bored, babygirl, all you had to was say so,” Barty hummed, striding up to you.

You placed a hand on his sternum to stop him from coming any closer, ignoring the flare of heat that accompanied the contact. “You were asleep five seconds ago,” you argued.

“Asleep and dreaming of all the ways I could keep you entertained.” He grinned, wicked and sharp, and the simmering heat spread to your lower belly, your heart beating fast.

“What are you, a fucking court jester?” You bit, unable to stop your arm bending as he pushed closer, the smell of ink and his cologne making your mouth water.

“I'm whatever you want me to be,” he flirted, and Regulus and Pandora groaned in unison.

“Will you leave her the fuck alone?” Regulus snapped, tugging Barty back by a belt loop. “She's not interested in your act, Junior.”

“Act?” Barty quirked a brow. “I’m dead serious.”

“Don't talk about his brother that way!” Evan shouted, far too excited to make the over-used joke once again, and you rolled your eyes. Apparently, the rare quiet time had come to an end.

“I don't give a fuck about his brother!”

“I don't give a fuck about you!”

“Oh, so you're a bitch and a liar?”

“I'm not a bitch, you cunt!”

“I'll see you guys at the party later,” you said, using their bickering as your window of escape. You all but fled the library, desperate for some fresh air and clarity.

If Barty sincerely liked you…did that change anything? Was there a way to know for sure how he felt? You didn't even know how you felt, not really. You'd never let yourself really consider it for fear of inevitable disappointment.

Sure, you found him attractive, everyone did. And yes, despite yourself you thought he was funny and sweet, in his own, odd way. And he was especially sweet to you. He never brought your other friends food, or waited for them after class, or snuggled in their beds. Well, besides Evan.

He didn't really touch anyone else either. But if you were close enough, as he often ensured you were, he was touching you whenever he could. Knocked together knees in the Great Hall, leaning on you during class no matter how many times you shoved him off, throwing his arms over your shoulder when it was cold, wrapping his pinky around yours in a particularly crowded hall.

Yes, his words were often obnoxious and bordering on insane, but his actions…his actions were sincere, thoughtful, almost tender.

Was that the real Barty?

Maybe you had been fooled just like everyone else into thinking he was nothing more than a joker, a rowdy troublemaker, when the reality was so much deeper.

Had you been all wrong about him?

By the time you and Pandora left your dorm room to join the party, the common room was a madhouse. Green lights flashed in time with the thumping bass, bodies dancing and mingling in every available spot on the dancefloor, a haze of smoke and glitter over their heads.

You were wearing a black mini dress and heels, held together by string and a prayer. Your hair hung in loose waves down your back, your eyeliner sharp and lips painted. You knew you looked good, lethal in the best way, but all you could think about was Barty's reaction.

Would he like it? Hate it? Or even worse, not even notice?

Together, you and Pandora moved through the crowd towards your friends usual place at the far side of the common room.

Of course, you spotted Barty first. He was leaning against the bar, dressed in all black, tailored trousers and a sleeveless undershirt. Apparently he ditched his actual shirt before you arrived in favor of displaying his countless tattoos, most of them done by his own hand. His hair was dark with pomade and pushed off of his face, glitter clinging to the sweat along his lean chest and shoulders.

He looked like a wet fucking dream.

Xeno let out a low whistle when you and Pandora stepped out from the crowd, drawing Barty's attention from Evan and Dorcas.

His jaw dropped instantly and with a dramatic flourish, he pretended to faint into Evan's arms, clutching at his heart. Despite yourself, you giggled, and Pandora shot you a surprised look through a gap in her boyfriends embrace.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Barty gasped, sliding out of Evan's arms and onto his knees. “Look at—baby, look at you!”

You flushed under the attention, your blood heating as it raced through your veins, but you just rolled your eyes at him, a new confidence blooming in your chest. He loved it.

You strode over to the bar, closing his chin with a finger, and leaned against the counter. “Firewhisky?” You asked the student bartending, and they stared back at you, dumbstruck, before rushing to collect your drink.

Barty leaned against your legs, his cheek against your thigh. “What are you doing to me?” He whined up at you, feeding into your surge of confidence.

You pushed his head away, tugging at the roots of his hair before releasing him, and he groaned, a low, panty-melting sound. “I'm not doing anything. You're just insufferable,” you chastised, accepting your drink.

“And you're beautiful,” he said, sounding almost reverent, and you nearly choked on your drink.

“Fuck off and drool on someone else, yeah?” You snapped, overwhelmed by his candor, even though it was exactly what you thought you wanted.

Fuck, you didn't know what you wanted. And even when you did, it seemed your subconscious wasn't always in agreement. You had wanted him to drool over you. He was literally on his knees, but some broken part of your brain couldn’t accept it. So you pushed him away.

“C’mon, you simpering mutt,” Evan said, hauling Barty up. “I think I saw a kegger over there.”

Barty started to protest, but Evan and Regulus dragged him away.

“You should have some mercy,” Xeno said, leaning on the bar beside you.

“Oh?” You raised a brow at him, taking a sip of whisky.

“Poor prick is besotted,” Dorcas supplied.

“He's full of shit,” you bit, that panicky feeling crawling up your spine.

Pandora shook her head, and your eyes widened. “It's true, I’ve never seen him so fucked up over someone before.”

“He's not the obsessive type. Not when it comes to dating, at least. He loses interest as often as he changes his underwear. But he's been stuck on you for months,” Dorcas said.

“Yeah, he usually obsesses over like quill tips, and arson—”

“You guys are serious?” You asked, cutting off Xeno. “You think he actually likes me?”

They all stare at you, dumbfounded.

“You can't tell?” Pandora asked, grabbing your face and shaking you. “Babe, he's absolutely gone for you.”

“Like, gone gone,” Dorcas added.

“But it's Barty, I mean—he’s never serious—”

“Exactly, that's what makes it so obvious!” Pandora cried, exasperated. “I thought you knew!”

“Why would you think that!” You shouted back.

“Because he says it constantly!” Your friends yell in unison.

“He was on his knees, y/n. Like literally on his knees,” Xeno said, shaking his head. “It doesn't get much more devoted than that.”

Devoted. It clicked then, the signs you'd been brushing off, refusing to see clearly because of your own veil of distrust. Because you didn’t allow yourself to accept the truth out of fear. Barty had been showing you for months how he felt, and not just in his words, in his actions. Bringing you food when you were hungry, walking you from class to class, meeting your barbs and verbal lashes with a smile.

He’d been wearing his heart on his sleeve this entire time, and all you’d done is punish him for it.

Oh, fuck. How could you be so blind?

You set your drink on the bar and pushed through your friends, ignoring their calls as you forced your way through the crowd, searching for Barty in the sea of green. You found him standing with Evan and few other members of the Quidditch team, cheering while a fifth year shotgunned a dandelion draught.

“Barty!” You shouted over the roar, grabbing his wrist.

He turned, his eyes widening in surprise. “Y/n? Are you alr—where are we going?”

You dragged him into a shadowed alcove, slightly hidden from the party. Your heart was pounding in your ears, tears already burning behind your eyes. “Be honest with me,” you said, forcing yourself to hold his gaze.

“Always,” he said automatically, holding your gaze, brow heavy with uncertainty.

“How do you feel about me?” You asked.

Understanding dawned, and Barty's expression melted into something painfully soft, painfully sincere. “I just wanna be yours.”

The admission stole the air from your lungs, made your heart freeze in place. "M-mine?"

“Yours,” he breathed, his hands finding your waist, grip tight as desperation filled his eyes. “Please, let me be yours.” He lowered to his knees again, his head by your navel. “I promise—I promise I’ll be good, if you’ll just give me a chance too—”

You leaned down and grabbed the silver chain around his throat like a collar, dragging his mouth to yours in a fervid, frantic kiss. He surged upwards, lifting you into the air and crushing you between his body and the wall, forcing air out of your lungs. You wrapped your legs around his narrow hips as his tongue pried open your mouth, desperate to taste you. Desire pumped through you, scalding hot and more potent than the whisky, making your head spin, your skin tingle.

You tugged at his hair, drawing him closer, and he whimpered low in his throat. Your cunt clenched at the sound, your thoughts turning singular: make him beg. Your tongue traced his lips, tasting beer and cigarette smoke, and you sucked his lower lip between your teeth, biting hard before soothing it with your tongue.

His hips canted up into your core, his hands moving down to squeeze your ass beneath your dress and grind your core against him. You gasped, breaking the kiss for a moment, and he seized the opportunity to pillage your mouth again, licking at your teeth and the roof of your mouth.

“Your dorm,” you panted, yanking his head back by the roots of his hair.

He didn’t hesitate, throwing you up and over his shoulder in a startling feat of strength.

“Barty!” you squealed, giggling and slapping at his back while he carried you to the stairs, his hand keeping your dress in place so you didn’t flash anyone. He couldn’t have made it any more obvious what was happening, and you found that you didn’t care. If you were going to be with Barty, you were going to have to get used to being loved out loud.

“Look at her ass again, see what happens!” You heard him bark, his voice a rumble through his ribcage, and you rolled your eyes, smiling to yourself as he carried you up the stairs.

A moment later, you were being tossed roughly onto his bed, the door slamming shut with a muttered alohomora. Barty crawled up your body, his dark eyes flashing with a feral hunger that made your pussy purr, and he dove into your neck with his teeth and tongue, making you gasp and arch into his body, your whole body alight with pleasure.

“Easy, baby,” you cooed, petting his hair to try and settle his frantic affection. Poor thing couldn’t seem to control himself, so worked up he was rutting against your thigh. “I’m not going anywhere, darling, relax.”

He whined into your neck, clutching at the fat of your lovehandles. “Need you so bad,” he groaned. “M’sorry, can’t help myself.”

You rolled over him, straddling his hips with yours. “I know, love. Just sit still and be good for me, yeah?”

He nodded vigorously, watching you kiss down his body with heavy-lidded eyes. You pushed up the hem of his undershirt, licking a stripe between the valley of his abdomen muscles, admiring the tattoos you’d only gotten glimpses of.

“So pretty, Bat,” you purred, and felt his cock twitch against your chest, his head falling back against the pillows. “Been wanting me this whole time?”

“Yes, so badly—fuck, treasure, please—” he moaned when you grazed your teeth along his hipbone, sucking the skin into your mouth to leave a mark. His hand tangled in your hair, rings cool against your scalp, and you released his skin with a pop, admiring the plum-colored bruise left behind. “I’m getting that tattooed,” he panted, dragging a thumb over your spit slick lips. “Swear to Salazar.”

You giggled, shifting further down to undo his trousers and finding that he apparently skipped boxers. His cock sprung out to slap against this stomach, rigid and flushed, a bead of pearly precum dripping down to his navel. Gently, you traced a finger over the protruding veins along his shaft, admiring him.

Barty hissed through his teeth, his muscles tensing to keep still.

“Good boy,” you praised, wrapping your hand loosely around him, pumping once, twice without any real pressure. He was long and slightly curved, gorgeous, and you couldn’t resist dragging your tongue up the root of him, feeling the velvety texture against your lips.

“Fucking shit, you’re going to kill me.” His fingers tightened in your hair as you lapped at the head, savoring the salty taste of him.

You looked up at him through your lashes, his head thrown back, his chest rising and falling with labored breaths, every muscle flexed tight. Fighting for his life to hold still.

“Baby,” he whined when you stopped, picking up his head to look down at you.

“Say your mine,” you ordered, hovering just over his cock, holding his wild-eyed gaze.

“I’m yours. I’m so fucking yours.”

You smiled and wrapped your lips around him, swallowing down as much of him as you could manage and he cried out, rough and breathless with relief. You bobbed up and down on his length, tongue pressing against the root of his cock and using your hand to stroke what you couldn’t reach, and you watched his soul leave his body.

“Baby, baby, baby,” he chanted, using your hair to lift and lower you a little faster, his control starting to falter as you pulled him apart. “Bloody hell, you’re way too good at this. What the fuck—oh saints. Your mouth feels like fucking heaven.”

You hummed in response, letting him push you further down, gagging on his length before he released you and you pulled off of him to catch your breath, a trail of drool connecting your lips and his head.

Barty groaned. “Never mind, I’m getting that tattooed. Right on my fucking forehead so every time I look in the mirror—”

You climbed back up his body and draped yourself over him, silencing him with a sloppy kiss, his tongue laving across your lips to taste himself. “Do you ever stop talking?” you teased, kissing the corner of his mouth, his cheekbone, his temple.

In a quick movement, he flipped you beneath him. “There’s one sure-fire way to shut me up,” he purred against your ear before kissing and licking down your neck and chest. Every pass of his lips was electric, a bolt of pleasure straight your weeping pussy, swollen against your panties and desperate for attention. “This dress,” he murmured, tracing the swell of your breast with his tongue. “Wear it for anyone in particular?”

“I wanted to see your reaction,” you admitted, gasping when his big hand came up to knead your tit, fingertips still a little stained from sketching. His rings were harsh against your skin, and you arched into him, relishing in his greedy touch.

“Sent me to my knees, sweetheart. Damn near killed me.” He pulled the top of you dress down, your tits spilling free, and he took one pert nipple into his mouth, lashing it with his tongue while he teased the other with his hand.

You keened, hands flying into his shaggy hair. Every pull of his mouth went straight to your cunt, making your hips buck against his thigh. He shifted to press his leg harder against you, letting you chase your pleasure, and hummed in approval against your chest.

The friction was amazing, buzzy heat spilling under your skin and making you moan and cling tighter to him, trembling with unspent energy. “Fuck, Barty—please.” You weren’t sure what you were begging for, but he seemed to understand you perfectly.

“Say your mine, treasure,” he said, biting at the side of your breast, and you yelped.

“Yes, Barty! All yours! Just please—”

He pushed two fingers into your mouth, silencing you while he shifted down your body. Without warning, he buried his face between your legs, licking and sucking at your pussy through your panties with an eagerness that made your eyes cross, your teeth sink down on his digits.

“So fucking sweet, baby. Melting like sugar f’me.” He yanked your panties down your legs and returned to his feasting, laving his long tongue through you before sucking hard at you clit. He slipped his fingers from your mouth, needing both hands to spread you open for his consumption.

Your mind was wiped clean, erased completely by all-consuming bliss as he practically mauled your pussy, vicious in his pursuit of your pleasure. His tongue fucked into you, the slurping loud and lewd, while he massaged your clit with his thumb. You dug your nails into his sheets, trying to stifle your screams into his pillow.

"So responsive, baby. Ready for more?" He asked, easing his middle finger inside of your clenching channel, curling against the gooey spot behind your pelvic bone that made you melt into the mattress. Adding a second finger, he started nursing your clit again, letting his dexterous artist’s fingers coax you open.

Once you were moaning, loose and languid against the mattress, he ramped back up, working your g-spot like it stole something from him he was hellbent on getting back. He dragged his teeth against your clit, soothing the flare of plain with his tongue, and you felt yourself draw tight, teetering on the edge of oblivion.

“Barty—oh God, I’m going to come—oh fuck, oh fuck!” You lifted almost completely off the bed as your orgasm slammed into you, ripping through sinnew and bone to consume your heart, devour you entirely.

Barty slowed his ministrations, dragging his tongue through your spasming pussy with long, lush licks, his hold tight on your thighs when you started to inch away from him, your body twitching and shaking as you came down from your high.

“That’s my treasure, so fucking gorgeous when you come for me,” he hummed, smiling against your skin, and nuzzled his nose against your clit while he withdrew his fingers, making you jump and whine. “Not so mean now, are you, sweetness?”

You shook your head, trembling and weak, completely boneless beneath him.

"So soft for me, hm?" He dragged you down the bed, throwing one of your calves over his shoulder while he swiped the head of his cock through your messy slit. “Better hold onto something, darling. You've got me at the end of my leash.”

You wrapped your hands around the bars of his headboard and he grinned, a wicked slash across his handsome face.

“Fuck, I knew you were perfect for me.” He notched his cock at your entrance and with a smooth roll of his hips, buried himself to the hilt. You both cried out, the fullness, the stretch more intense than anything you’d felt before. “I was fucking made for you, baby,” he groaned, dragging his hips back before snapping them forward, your pussy fluttering around him.

“Fuck, B, feels so good,” you mewled, rocking your hips to meet his thrust for thrust, the bed creaking loudly beneath you.

He used his hold on your elevated leg to lift your hips off the bed, ratcheting up to a punishing pace, making you scream and thrash on the bed while he fucked you with every ounce of desperation and determination he’d harbored over the last few months. His teeth sunk into your calf, hard enough to send a bolt of pain down your leg and make you cry out, heightening the pleasure radiating from your core until you were teetering on the edge again, every graze of his cockhead against your cervix winding you tighter, higher—

“Shit, baby, I’m gonna come soon,” he grunted, his thrusts growing sloppy, erratic and rough, and you could only nod. “Can feel it, tres. C’mon, babygirl, come with me. Please, need to feel you come around me, m’dying for it, please, please—”

You came with a scream, your vision whiting out as sunlight blazed through you, eviscerating every ounce of tension, trepidation, fear, and leaving you a beacon of light, nothing but giddy, delirious stardust.

“Fuck, yes, that’s it—fuck!” Barty came a heartbeat after you, the swelling and throbbing of his cock as he painted your inside white prolonging your release, wringing every drop of pleasure from you until you both collapsed onto the bed, chests heaving and sticky with sweat, the glitter from his skin decorating yours.

You reached for him, trembling and raw, and he gathered you into his chest, kissing your cheeks and forehead with a dizzying gentleness. “Barty,” you breathed, hands curling against his chest, too overwhelmed with feeling to say anything else.

“I’m yours,” he whispered, cradling your face to bring your gaze to his. “I’m yours.”

You nodded, leaning forward to kiss him, taste him again, letting the warmth of his body, the heavy beat of his heart, ground you in the reality of this moment. Barty was yours, and you were his. And you were safe. He wanted you despite your attitude, your armor, your callousness. He wanted you exactly as you were, more than happy to lay in the shadows with you, or draw you out into his light to dance.

“And I’m yours,” you breathed against his lips, and he smiled.

“I'll be right back,” he murmured, pressing a delicate kiss to your head before flying out of bed and wrenching open the door, his cock barely stuffed back into his pants. “SHE’S FUCKING MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEEEE!” He screamed down the stairs to the party.

A chorus of cheers rang out, reaching you from the common room. You buried your face into his pillow, laughter bubbling up despite the embarrassment scorching your cheeks.

Barty whirled around, a maniac’s grin on his face, and he dove back into bed, determined to stake his claim as many times as possible before sunrise.

Thank you for reading!

[h0neylvst]

this is a self-indulgent write as much as it is a self indulgent read for me 🤭🤭

(i truly hope you’re feeling better lovely <33)

We Take Care of Each Other 🩹🌙

Summary: Remus x reader with chronic illness, just some cute and fluffiness with Remus. I just wanted to do a self indulgent fic with Remus to give those with chronic illness/disease some representation. ❤️

CW: mentions of chronic illness/disease, mentions of pain, mentions of sickness, swearing

word count: 1.9k

You woke up feeling like shit. Normally, you would deal with it and make your way to class, but today it didn’t feel like normal everyday shit, it felt like more serious shit. You tried to take some medicine and wait a couple minutes in bed for them to start working, but you could tell that if you didn’t go and see Madam Pomfrey, you would only get worse throughout the day.

So you pulled yourself out of bed, not bothering changing out of your sweatpants and baggy t-shirt, and slipped some shoes on. You made your way through the common room where you found your friends lounging on the couches and completing last minute homework. Mary looked in your direction and had to take a double take. 

“Oh, sweetheart, do you feel alright? You don’t look too good.” Mary said with concern. If your friends could tell you weren't feeling well, you must look like death. Usually, they can’t tell when you felt your normal levels of pain and sickness, but you obviously look as awful as you feel.

“Yeah you look like you got hit by a train.” Sirius said, glancing up from his hastily scribbled notes, no doubt for class in only a few minutes. He himself didn’t look like his normal self, he looked a bit pale and had bags under his eyes. He and the other boys must have stayed up getting into trouble last night.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re one to talk Black.” you chirped back at him. He winked playfully at you and you gave your friend a small smile back, even if you were in pain, you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to mess with him a little bit. 

“It’s just one of those days,” you explained, now speaking to the whole group again. “I don’t think I can make it to class so, I’m gonna go see if Madam Pomfrey can help me in any way.”

“Oh honey,” Lily said looking sorry and concerned, “I’m so sorry, I’ll be sure to take notes for you.”

“Thanks Lils,” you smiled, making your way out the common room entrance. All your friends called after you a melody of “See you later”s and “Hope you feel better”s.

You started your journey to the infirmary and cursed whoever built the castle. However beautiful it may be, they were an asshole for putting so many stairs throughout it. You wondered how all the normal kids did it, having to go up and down and up and down all day long. One set made you out of breath and needing a minute to recoup.

You were grateful for magic in times like these. You could take some potions and feel a bit better, but no potion could take away your illness. Yes magic could cure the common cold or minor aches or even broken bones, and you heard that there was some development in a magical cure for blindness, but there was no cure, no potion or spell, that could change your genetics, your DNA, every fiber that made you, you.

At times you wish you were just like everyone else, but that isn’t you. You have pain and sickness and hard times, but you have learned to deal with it, overcome it.

You trudged up the final stairs to the medical wing, catching your breath for a moment before pushing open the infirmary door and stepping in, looking for the sweet motherly figure.

Madam Pomfrey was tending to another child at the end of the room. She looked up and once she saw it was you, she gave you that kind, warm smile that you were so used to. You had come to know her quite well, being in and out of the infirmary a lot, especially when you got sick or when the stress of tests and exams hit. She also frequently made potions for you to stop by and pick up to manage your pain and fatigue, a simple tweak to the common Pepperup potion, but you still appreciated it.

“Have a seat in the open bed dear, I’ll be with you in a moment.” she sang through the room. You nodded and headed to the open bed in the middle of the room.

You got yourself comfortable before the curtains  magically closed around the bed. You were thankful for the privacy, not needing everyone in Hogwarts to know that you were here again. It wasn’t necessarily their fault for being so ignorant, half of them don’t understand muggle illnesses, but it doesn’t make it any less hard. Some of your peers accused you of lying and pretending to be sick so that you could skip class, but that was the furthest thing from the truth, and all your professors knew that. You wished you could be like everyone else, be able to simply sit through a class normally without starting to ache or fall asleep because of how fatigued you were. 

You hated that people didn’t understand, but your friends tried their best to, even if they would never know the full extent, because it isn’t something they experience, but they do a great job. The only one who can relate to you and understands more than the others it seems, was none other than Remus Lupin.

Remus always stayed back with you, walked slower than the rest of your friends around the castle so that you wouldn’t feel like you were behind. He would give you his jacket in classes if you needed to use it as a pillow. He made sure to copy his notes for you when you were too ill to go to class. He was amazing.

You always thought that he knew what to do because he was like you, he experienced the same things as you. Of course, you never asked him about it, but there were times where things were very similar between the two of you. Sometimes he was the one in pain, needing a can to get around, he was a little slower up the stairs with you, he was the one falling asleep in class. You just assumed that maybe he had a similar story to yours, but you didn’t want to pry or be rude, so you just returned the favor to him, lent him your sweaters for pillows, walked slowly with him, offered up Pomfrey's special potion when he winced and grunted while standing up.

You felt that you two were much closer because of these shared experiences, and you were glad you had someone to lean on.

Madam Pomfrey whipped open the curtain and stepped in. “Hello dear,” She smiled at you, “What can I help you with today?”

“It's the usual.” you explained plainly.

“What is your pain level at right now?” she asked.

You thought for a moment. “Like… a seven?” you said. To be honest, you seven was someone else’s 11, but you were used to it so it didn’t feel that bad.

“Well that is too high for my liking.” She said, starting to mix up a potion for you. “How have you been sleeping lately?”

“Not great.” you admitted. “I can’t get myself to fall asleep and then when I wake up I feel more tired than I did when I went to sleep.”

She looked at you and frowned, worry written all over her face. “Well then you are in no shape to attend class.” you wanted to argue but once you opened your mouth to protest, to say that it was fine and you didn’t want your education to suffer, the conversation you and she had had a million times not, but before you could say anything, she cut you off with a look. “I don’t want to hear it miss Y/N.” she said, continuing to mix the concoction. “Everyone always says ‘school comes first’ but that isn’t the truth. Your body and your health come first. Always. Do you understand me?”

You nodded, still wanting to tell her that you were fine really.

“Darling, you need rest. That is the best thing for your body. Now, I am going to write to your professors saying you will not be attending class for the whole day.” she said. You looked at her with bewilderment. “That’s right,” she held firm, “You are prescribed bed rest and my potion.”

You still wanted to protest, but it felt nice to have someone in your corner looking after your best interest. If your mother couldn’t be here, she was the next best thing, and you genuinely felt that she cared about you and your wellbeing.

So you gave in and nodded. “Thank you Madam Pomfrey.”

“Of course my dear.” she said, finishing the potion and setting it on the bedside table for you. She smiled and exited, pulling the curtain shut behind her.

You barely had time to drink your potion and relax into your bed before the curtain opened again. You were met with none other than Remus himself. He looked how you assumed you looked at the moment; not the best. He was pale and looked like he hadn’t slept a wink. You thought earlier that the boys had been up all night causing mischief, but Remus looked in no state to be having any fun. He smiled gently at you, which you returned to him.

“Fancy seeing you here,” he joked. You chuckled and felt the potion starting to work. You had seen Remus here countless times over all the years. Sometimes he was only here for a bit, sometimes he was there for much longer, Madam Pomfrey tending to him nonstop. You figured sometimes his condition was really bad.

No matter what, when your infirmary stays lined up, you two would recover together. Sometimes that meant hanging out and playing card games or reading next to each other or talking to pass the time, but sometimes that just meant knowing that the other was in the bed next to you, healing and recovering at your own speeds.

“Come here often?” you joked back.

“I overheard you were on bed rest for the day,” he said. You noticed his limp and figures it was a bad day for him as well. You nodded your confirmation to him. “Well, lucky for you, so am I.” 

Your smile broadened. 

Remus went to Madam Pomfrey to ask if he could move his bed right next to yours for company, and since you were both on bed rest and supposed to take a nap, it would be easier for her to check in on you both. 

Maybe it was because you two were her favorites, but she reluctantly agreed and moments later, his bed magically appeared next to yours, the curtains magically accommodated the new layout. Remus popped himself into his bed now next to yours, so close you could now rest your head on his shoulder, which you did. You felt his warmth beneath you and he rested his head on the top of yours.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“Shit.” you answered bluntly to Remus. You always could be with him and he could be with you, one of your favorite aspects of your relationship with him.

He chuckled lightly, trying not to jostle your head around too much. “Yeah me too.” he said.

“You should sleep,” you said to him, yawning. “In the words of Sirius Black ‘you look like you got hit by a train’”

“He did not say that to you.” Remus said, disappointment at his friend laced in his tone.

“Oh yes he did.” you giggled.

Remus yawned as well. “Alright but you should too.”

“Ok, we’ll both sleep now so that we can shove Sirius down the stairs later and tell him that’s what the train feels like” you said mischievously. 

Remus giggled along with you. “That sounds like a plan.”

You both dozed off in the morning light, finally able to sleep now that the other was near.

Hi loves!! this one was really just a self insert for me cause I am going THROUGH it right now. but, if i can write something that only one other person can relate to, then I am so happy! ❤️

[h0neylvst]

lovely wonderful jade this is so beautifully written you’re fantastic 🫶✨🫶

𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭

part one | chapter list 

You find yourself drawn into Remus’ life after an awful night you can’t remember. He does his best to hold onto you. [10k]

cw: heavy themes, implied sexual assault of the reader [with no graphic scenes but it’s a continuous theme, so please be careful when reading], pregnancy, eventual friends to lovers, friendships, hurt/comfort, james makes a lot of soup, found family

𖦹

The pharmacy on Wilmand Street is always deathly quiet. The boy behind the counter reads and occasionally picks up the phone to put it back down, his hair in his eyes, a waxiness to his pale skin that never fails to perturb. 

Your shoes creak over the hardwood floor. He’s noticed your entry, signalled by a golden bell above the door and your muffled panting, but he hasn’t looked up. 

Your eyes slide past pads, nighttime, ultra-long panty liners, searching with a poorly restrained desperation for something in particular. 

The phone rings —dark-haired boy picks it up and puts it back down again as you recalled, silencing the ring. You watch him from over your shoulder and he looks up from his book to stare. 

“Pregnancy tests?” you ask.

His expression doesn’t change as he pulls a drawer open behind the desk with a metallic clink. “What kind?” 

“The most reliable. Please.” 

He gives a nod, black curl bobbing under his chin. He grabs a blue card box and places it on the counter. “Sixteen fifty.” 

You open your purse before you’ve reached him, extracting the change exactly and tipping it next to his book. “Thank you.” 

“Are you alright?” 

Your heart squeezes in your chest like a tightening fist. “Why?” 

“I have to ask. I’m a mandated reporter.” 

“I’m not a child.” 

He levels your look with his own. “You don’t have to answer. I’m only asking because you look upset. Are you alright?” 

You don’t think you’ve ever heard him say more than three words at a time. His voice is reminiscent of someone else’s, half-remembered. You want to ask him, then. The questions you’ve had since it happened. Why does it hurt so badly, still? But the boy, while seemingly well-intentioned, isn’t one you trust to care nor keep it to himself. 

“Fine,” you reply, pressing the blue-boxed test into your pocket, pulling the hood of your coat up to brace against the December rain. You’re fine. 

The door opens before you can get to it, another lovely dark-haired boy letting himself inside. His stare is blank as the one at the desk’s is, but you smile on instinct and he smiles back warmly after a moment, holding the door for you to leave. 

“Okay, Reg?” you hear him ask as you pass.

“Close the door,” Reg says. “You’re letting in the cold.” 

—

It’s even colder the next time you go. You throw on another hoodie and wrap a scarf tightly around your neck, face ducked, nose tickled by flyaway fibres. The walk to Wilmand Street takes seventeen long minutes where your hands hurt, then shake, chapped by hateful winds. 

The pharmacy’s newspapered window comes into view. A poster for the local pub leaks ink on the outside, wet by the rain, its font blooming like fungus across purple paper. Live music event: December 31st. 

The dark-haired boy —Reg?— is behind the counter again. The first one. Are you alright? boy. He looks twenty so or near that, but there’s something wilfully young about the skin under his eyes, despite a more haggard pinch to his brow. You were hoping it would be the second one, or the sandy-haired boy who mans the till in the very early mornings. He has a more natural smile than the other two. Perhaps not more authentic, but quicker to perk up when you slink in for whatever before work, Mondays and Fridays if he’s there. 

Reg doesn’t lift his head. You push yourself toward the back of the pharmacy. It’s a small shop slotted between two others, one wall touched from the next in thirty seconds should you walk it. It makes pretending you’re there for other things useless and embarrassing, but you do it anyway. Another test won’t change what you wanted the test to say, but you can’t take one single test and trust it was right. 

“Reliable?” Reg asks when you finally approach. 

“Yeah. And the five strip box, too, if you have it.” 

Reg takes them from the drawer and adds their prices seemingly in his head. “Eighteen eighty-nine.” 

You pass him a twenty pound note and wait for your change, not bothered that he counts it slowly, or that he puts it down flat on the counter away from your outstretched hand. “Thanks,” you murmur. 

He noticeably bites his tongue. 

“I want to be sure, is all,” you say. 

“If you go to the doctor’s, they do it for free. And it has a ninety nine percent rate of accuracy.” 

You hold the tests to your stomach. “I’m not… really sure what I’d want them to tell me, right now.” 

“They’d tell you the truth, at least.” Reg seems to decide this line of conversation isn’t one he wants to continue, and he lets his mouth flatten into a thin, white line. You get the sense though that he isn’t done talking, and are rewarded for your patience with an inkling of an almost-smile. “Please know that I’m bound by duty of care while I work here, so if you are concerned about something, I can listen and offer advice. And if you don’t want to tell me private information, my uncle is the acting pharmacist, and he is more strictly bound by patient confidentiality law.” He looks you in the eye. “You’re only as alone as you allow yourself to be.” 

“Who says that?” you ask, poked by the way he lays it out. 

Reg doesn’t like your question and doesn’t answer. He picks up his book, murmuring, “I hope they give you the result you want.” 

A different dark-haired boy is standing outside of the pharmacy when you leave. With a nice nose, eyes like a puppy, he’s handsome but hidden behind black frames. He stands from his car where he’d been leaning when the door swings out, sits back again when he realises you’re not who he’s looking for. “Sorry, lovely,” he says, pulling at a loosely-knotted tie. “I thought you were someone else.” 

“Sorry,” you say back, holding the tests to your chest. 

Your hand covers the boxes. His eyes flicker down to them regardless. You wait for disdain or embarrassment but see neither. Really, the only thing this new boy wears is pleasantness. 

“Don’t stay out too long, will you?” he asks, smiling genially, “You’ll freeze.” 

“I’m–” You clear your throat, caught off guard to have a stranger care about you so openly. No reluctance to his well wishes, and no strings. “Sorry– I’m going home now. I won’t stay out.” 

“Good, shortcake. Have a good night.” 

You should say you too. The wind chases you back to your flat, where you head for the bathroom, and, despite living alone, lock the door. 

—

You take your pregnancy test and sit on the floor, too weak-legged to stand at the sink, waiting for two pink lines. 

Sure enough. Control, result. One solid pink line, and one much lighter. It doesn’t matter —a positive is a positive, no matter how weak. The strip tests say the same thing. 

In TV and movies, people always paint the test as the ultimate moment. As though the result is the result, and that everything after is fixed, but the result now is only a signifier for another decision to be made: will you keep your baby, or foetus? Do you feel as though it is a baby, or a foetus, or both? Is it welcome, or a foreign object? There is no right or wrong answer, only how you feel. 

The migraine you get then is debilitating. Like toothache in every tooth, pain behind your eyes half-psychosomatic, half physiological stress. You’re not sure how long you’re in the bathroom holding your forehead, but it’s dark when you manage to stand again, and the tests have only gotten more obviously positive. You throw them all in the bin. 

—

The third day you go back to Wilmand Street pharmacy, the desk is manned by your unfamiliar, smiling boy. He looks up when the door opens, his eyes browned honey set in a face that recently saw the sun, but not too much of it. Kissed by it. His cheeks are pinked. He must be the first person who’s worked here to bother turning on the heating. 

“Morning,” he says.

“Morning,” you say back. Voice croaky, you remember to be polite. “You okay?” 

“I’m great, lovely, thank you. How are you?” He gives a nod toward the street. “It’s so cold out, are you gonna be warm enough in your jumper?” 

You find yourself struck as you were the day before, so startled by genuine kindness that you can hardly work your mouth. “I’m okay. I’m going right back home after this.” 

“Aw, good.” 

You nod. What are you here for today? Not another test. You aren’t stupid enough to believe a third round will give you a different verdict, but you‘d felt an urgent need to move. 

You grab a rounded basket from near the door and make your way to the haircare. There’s a handful of shampoos to choose from. You take the usual. Beneath them are baby shampoos and soaps. On a whim you pick one up, the words Tear and fragrance free stuck like a bad swallow at the back of your throat. 

Babies need so many things. At the supermarket they have these great walls of baby food and it’s expensive enough to take your eye out every time. A quarter of an hours wage for every organic, soft meal, and sure, they don’t need organic, vegetables are organic intrinsically, whatever, but if you don’t buy organic pre-made meals you have to make the baby food yourself, how long does that take? You put the baby shampoo down and turn to the conditioners. 

Unhappy, you scour them for nothing and turn on the spot. Why is Dr. Black never here? How are you supposed to ask him your questions if he doesn’t show up to work? 

You’ll have to ask the brown-haired boy. Nice eyes, nice smile. He probably won’t judge you, at least not out loud. 

He stands up from his rickety chair, soft leather seat worn and creaking as he pushes it away. “Yeah?” he asks. 

“Do you have to do that patient-confidentiality thing?” 

He smiles rather gently. “I do. A condition of my employment is to protect patient information. Legally, I can’t share private or sensitive information about you to anyone else in the world, unless I believe you’re in proper danger.” He holds his hands behind his back. “Is there something you wanted to ask me?” 

Wind roars outside. Your eyes start to the door. 

“There’s a private room in the back,” he adds. 

“I don’t want to waste your time.” 

“It’s not wasted. Even if I weren’t legally obligated to keep whatever secrets you may have, I’m worried you look a bit poorly.”

He speaks oddly. Or not odd, but different to any of the other men you’ve met. It’s friendly, and yet somehow he’s quiet, too. His interest feels real, so you cross the room to the desk and put your basket on your shoes. 

You try to find a way to say it. “I know you’re not a doctor.” 

“No, I’m an apprentice pharmacist.” 

“Right. I know I should go to the doctor, and not you.” 

“That depends. We’re here to help. Doesn’t matter if you should go somewhere, you can ask me first.” 

You struggle. He waits. His hands lay steady on the edge of the desk, his face nearly blank besides a hint of warmth.  

“Is it alright if it’s a question about, um, sex?” 

He nods emphatically. “Of course that’s alright. I can’t promise I’ll know the answer, but you’re welcome to ask me anything and I can always get back to you if you’re not willing to ask someone else.” His smile turns wry. “I know it’s uncomfortable, but it’s only sex. I don’t mind.” 

“I just…” You hold your hands together. “I wanted to know, if pain after… if it’s supposed to hurt so much after.” 

His wry smile is quickly subdued, though he remains friendly looking. “It depends,” he says, measured, “on a few things. You probably know that the first time you have sex can be painful because of the initial perforation of the hymen, but usually sex isn’t supposed to be painful at all.” 

“At all.” 

“No. If sex hurts, it’s likely from a lack of preparation, bruising of the cervix, or it could be a condition called vaginismus. That’s where your muscles tighten suddenly when you attempt penetration. Having sex with vaginismus can be extremely painful.” 

Something on his chest catches the light. A name tag. 

He follows your gaze. “Oh,” he says. “I’m Remus. Sorry, it might’ve been nicer for you to know that before I started talking.” 

Remus… You shake your head at him. “Um… Remus… Well, I’m not really sure what happened.” 

“Right.” 

“I wasn’t–” Your heart jumps before you can confess, horrible secret stuck to the roof of your mouth. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, “are you sure you don’t want to go sit down in the quiet room with me? I can make you a cup of tea.” 

“I can’t have caffeine.” 

“I have night time tea. Is that alright?” 

“The shop?” 

“It’s okay, I’ll ask Sirius to come down. You really aren’t doing anything wrong.” 

“I feel like I shouldn't ask you.” 

“That’s a consequence of our great British society,” he says, lightly teasing as he lifts the counter to come from behind it and presses a small red button on an intercom box by the inside door. It’s an attempt to make you feel better, and it nearly works. “You feel embarrassed about something you have no reason to feel embarrassed of. Everybody has sex, and everybody has bad sex, sometimes, and needs advice.” 

The intercom crackles before you can speak. “Moony?” a voice asks. 

“Sirius, I have someone who needs to talk to me. You’ll have to come on the till for a bit.” 

“Kay. Down now.” 

Remus smiles. “That’s about as obliging as he gets.” 

“Sirius, is he the– is he the one who reads?” 

“Not often. You’re thinking of Regulus, his brother.” 

Regulus, of course. “They look so similar.” 

“They do.” He gestures for you to stand beside him as the inside door swings open, unveiling one of those dark-haired brother’s, the taller of the two. 

“Oh, hi,” Sirius says, wet hair on his shoulders, his t-shirt sodden at the front like he’d swept it back, “okay? There’s biscuits in the left cupboard, Moons.” 

Remus, Moons, Moony, holds the door back and lets you inside. 

The walk to the quiet room is strange. Sitting down at the table with him as he passes you a box of biscuits, kettle boiling, he doesn’t put you on ends, but it doesn’t feel good. You slip your hand under your t-shirt where he can’t see and feel the hot stretch of your stomach for something that isn’t there. 

“So,” he says, grimacing, “I’m going to ask you some precursory questions. You don’t have to answer any of them if you don’t want to.” 

“Okay.” 

“Are you in any active danger?” 

You shake your head slowly. “None.” 

“Is someone close to you hurting you?” 

“No.” 

“Are you alright?” 

You twist your hands together tightly. “I don’t think so.” 

“No?” He slips his chair closer to your own. “Are you hurt now?” 

You look down at your lap. This is awful. This is why you didn’t want to go to see your doctor. “I don’t know. I’m not hurt, but it does hurt. I move and it feels like something sharp is digging into me.” 

“I see.” He frowns. “This can happen sometimes with penetration. It’s like I said before, if your body isn’t, you know, prepared? If you aren’t using lubrication, if you aren’t relaxed, it can be as simple as friction having hurt you, but it’s possible you’ve got cervical bruising, or an issue with your pelvic floor. It could be that you have a UTI. If we go through a couple of questions together I might be able to suggest a solution, but I have to tell you to see your doctor if you can. Alright? Pain after sex can be normal, but it doesn’t have to be. When we go back out, I’ll give you some paracetamol as well.” 

He looks as though he might have something else to say, but he stops when you open your mouth. “I don’t know what happened.” 

Remus frowns again. “Right.” 

The cellophane on the biscuits is shining under the light. 

“I don’t really know what to do.” 

“It’s a stabbing pain?” His frown gets impossibly deeper. “I have some ibuprofen. Off the record, you can have some of that with your tea. Here.” He procures a blister pack from his pocket and hands it to you, jumping up for the kettle, carrying it back to your mugs to set with the pint of milk. “It will probably go away soon, lovely, I would try not to worry, but it’s good to keep an eye on it too, and to book with the doctors if it gets worse. There are so many things that can go wrong in the body, but we’re also such good self-healers, it’s hard to know what to do.” 

“It’s… something else, too.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I was wondering if the pain is maybe because I…” 

Your face goes hot as coal embers, a furious sweat on the back of your neck. Remus doesn’t prod. He pours water into your mug until it’s a little over half full, the tea bag at the bottom staining it sepia. 

“I think I’m pregnant,” you say, not sure why it hurts to say so much. 

“Right.”

“Do you think it hurts because of that?” 

Remus bites his lip as he pours his own mug of tea. He’s looking at you as he puts the kettle down. “No, I wouldn’t think so, but it’s not an impossibility. How pregnant were you thinking?” 

“It was two weeks ago, so… so however long it takes to get pregnant.”

He looks alarmed, then. “Lovely, that was the last time you had sex?” 

“Yeah.”

“And it still hurts now?” 

“Only sometimes,” you say nervously. 

He ignores his steaming tea. “Right. Well, I think I need to advise you to make an emergency appointment today. I can make it with you. You shouldn’t still be hurting after two weeks, pregnant or not. Ectopic pregnancies don’t tend to hurt until further along, so…” Remus slows, looking at you with that too-kind frown, brown eyes darker back here behind the fog curls of his tea.

You feel caught on something. 

“I wasn’t awake,” you say quietly. “Just woke up hurting. I guessed what happened, ‘n now I’m pregnant. It could only have been...” You shrug it off, even as heat blooms behind your eyes, nose already hot and sniffly. 

“You were assaulted.” 

“Yeah, I guess so.” 

Remus seems to freeze up. “I’m sorry.” He takes a few seconds, and then he meets your eyes. “I can’t imagine how scary that must have been, and how scary it still is.” 

Your eyes line with tears. “I mean, it’s less scary now.” First tear tips forward as your voice falls to pieces. “I just don’t know what to do. Every day I’ve come here this week I’ve tried to ask about it, because I saw that poster, if I’m hurt then I can– then I can come to the pharmacy, but I’m not hurt, I’m fine now.” 

“Oh,” he says gently, pushing his chair over a little to bring himself closer, his hand coming to rest on your hunched shoulder, “even if you weren’t in any pain at all, you’re more than welcome to come here and speak to us, to me. This residual pain, I imagine you must’ve been quite injured when it happened. You didn’t have any help at all?” 

“I didn’t think there’s anything they could do.” 

“That’s okay, it’s not your fault,” he says, rubbing your shoulder kindly. “I just want to know as much of the details as you feel alright giving me, so we can move forward in the best way possible.” His hand slides across your back, nearly hugging. “I’m sorry. Really. And I’m sorry for talking so much about ‘bad sex’, I didn’t realise what you were telling me.” 

“I’m sorry for telling you.” 

“What?” he asks, a soft incredulity to him, “You have nothing to be sorry for. You can tell as many or as few people as you like, but I’m extremely glad to be told, because no one should ever have to face this sort of thing alone, should they?” He rubs your back when you nod, again when you sniffle. “Alright. It’s alright. You’re okay.” 

You don’t cry as much as you worry you might under a soft touch. The memory of waking up paralyses you for a bit, that confusion, the pain, the bruise across your neck. All of it makes you feel sick, but Remus shushes you under his breath, not to really shush you, but to calm you down. 

“I’m okay,” you say, shamed. 

“Try and drink some of this tea. Can I leave you alone for a minute?” 

“Oh, uh– yeah, of course. I’m fine.” 

His hand lingers between your shoulders. “Just for a minute, I’m going to find some bits for you–”

“I don’t need anything–”

“No, no, it’s okay, it’s just stuff I have to give you, and some things you might need.” Remus’ hand traces carefully to the front of your shoulder. He meets your eyes, nothing but compassion in the line of his mouth. “Okay?”

You say okay. Remus uses the door you came in through to head back out onto the pharmacy’s shop floor, letting it shut quietly behind him. You press your hand to your teeth. 

—

To Remus’ credit, he apologises for both pamphlets. Abortion Explained. What to expect when you’re expecting. “For you to know your options,” he’d said. “Whatever you decide, it’s your decision.” 

He can’t know you’ll spend a week pouring over them all, that you’ll worry at the corner of the STD clinic card, or that you’ll shove the RapeCrisis one down the side of your bed, desperate to throw it out, but terrified you’ll need it, too. 

And some of the stuff he gives you. You don’t even know what to do with it. Painkillers, lavender oil, discreet pads for incontinence. You’d tried to pay and he’d touched the back of your hand without explanation. “No, it’s okay,” he’d said. Nothing else. 

You spend days again wrapped in your own nausea, until Thursday evening, when you make your way to Community Support. 

You honestly weren’t considering it when Remus first gave you the card, but he said his friend worked there, “My best friend, James,” he corrected, ”and his wife, Lily, too. She talks to people about all kinds of things. I just wonder if you might feel happier talking about it with a woman.” 

Which was a nice sentiment, and possibly true, though Remus had been the first person you told. To be met with his sympathy in such a boundless capacity made it easier. Made you think, Maybe I’m not stupid for hating that it happened. 

“I’m here every Monday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday,” he‘d said when you made up a lie about needing to leave, scared of overstaying, “seven ‘til three, but you can ask for me if you ever want to. Sirius usually knows where I am.” 

And you had wanted to, but you knew you couldn’t. Being so desperately alone that you craved the comfort of a stranger’s hand is fine, but it didn’t feel okay to hold him hostage like that. Of course he feels sorry for you, of course he wants to make you feel better, how heartless would he look otherwise?

You’d chide yourself for thinking cynically about someone who’d only ever been nice if it would make a difference. Lonely, wrecked, you end up at the Community Support Group at the local leisure centre, wavering behind the swing doors. 

A face appears on the other side of the door. Deep skin, eyes like cherry pits and lips painted a cheery red, a woman smiles at you and pulls it open. 

“Hi! Are you here for the support group?” 

“Uh– Yeh–” You swallow roughly. “Yes. Is that here?” 

“That’s here.” She puts a thumb through the belt loop on her jeans. “Why don’t you come inside?” 

You take a tentative step.

“I’m Mary,” she says. 

“I don’t have to sign anything, right?” you ask. 

Mary leads you into the room without stopping. “This is off the books only. Do you want some tea or coffee?” 

“I can’t have caffeine.” 

“Decaf?” 

“Can I have water?” 

Mary has a good smile. Like she knows you, like you’re already friends. She cups your shoulder and guides you to the refreshment table, an impressive splendor of coffee, tea, individually wrapped biscuits, and sandwiches. There’s a box of protein bars with a handwritten red felt note that says: Take me home if you want to! 

“Aren’t hungry are you?” Mary asks. 

“Not really.” 

She ducks down at the table and pushes aside tablecloth to grab a crate of water from underneath.

“You haven’t been here before, then?” Mary asks as she stands. “I remember most faces, I don’t think I’ve seen you here.” 

“No, I’ve never… um, someone at the pharmacy told me I can come,” you say tightly. 

“Oh, you can! Of course you can. I wondered if you were new, that’s all.” She presses a bottle of water into your hands. You look down at her fingers, confused at their odd texture, your neck snapping up once you realise what you’re doing.

Mary has scars all over her hands, her wrists, and you’d been gawking at them by mistake. “Sorry,” you mumble. 

“For what? Do you want me to stay? Or would you rather be by yourself?” 

“We don’t sit in a circle, do we?” 

Mary laughs lightly. “No, no circle yet, you can leave if you don’t wanna stay for the group talking therapy. For the first hour people just say hello to one another. There are a ton of counsellors here, okay? I’m just gonna wander, but if you want to talk to me, come and find me, yeah?” 

“Okay, thanks. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome, hun.” She smiles at you, a little softer than before. “You can sit down if it makes you feel less awkward, but be warned, the sofas are James’ territory. He loves to talk.” 

Don’t wanna get stuck with James, you think. Though really, you’re here to talk. Or to turn around and go home with a pocket full of protein bars. 

The community room is an emptied dance hall that’s been made nice. There are big boards of fliers, of last year’s trampolining club, and another of the Community Support Christmas club, whatever that had been. It looked busier then than it does tonight —there are a ton of sunny looking counsellors dotted around the room and talking in triangles, half as many people like you. 

Someone random catches your eyes and you fluster, making your way to the terracotta sofas in the corner of the room on impulse. A man sits with an arm across his eyes, glasses on his chest, looking so sorrily tired for a second that you forget you’d come looking for help of your own. 

“Are you okay?” you ask, stilted. James’ territory, and you’d walked straight in. 

The man sits up starkly. He looks right at you, but you don’t recognise him until he puts on his glasses. It’s one of those pharmacy men. 

No, it’s not, you’d just seen him outside. 

“Hello,” he says, sliding his glasses up a strong-bridged nose. “I’m okay, I’m just resting my eyes,” —he laughs— “you alright?” You nod. “Yeah? Here for the support club? Or the sandwiches?” 

“I–” Will you stammer every time someone asks you about it? “One of the– the pharmacy, one of the pharmacists told me to come.” 

“That’s good,” he says earnestly. “I like those guys. Did you want a sandwich or something? I must’ve made a hundred. My hand still aches from the butter knife.” 

“I’m okay.” 

“Okay. Well, did you want to sit down? I promise I won’t hold you hostage or anything.” 

What am I doing? you think miserably, taking a seat in the sofa adjacent to his. 

He crosses one leg over the other. “Please don’t look so upset. I swear I genuinely won’t make you talk. I’m just here for the biscuits and lovely Lily, I promise. And lovelier Remus–” He laughs to himself. 

“You’re James?” you ask. 

“The last time I checked.”

“Remus– he mentioned you’d be here. I forgot.” 

James only smiles. “He’s brilliant, isn’t he?” he asks, wriggling in his seat to procure one of those biscuit packets from his back pocket. 

“He said that I might like talking to Lily.” 

It feels weird calling her by her first name without knowing her, but James agrees, “I’ll introduce you when she gets here, if that’s what you want.” 

“I just… I don’t know.” 

“She’s just as nice as Remus is. Remus was nice to you, wasn’t he?” 

You nod and look down at your clenched hands. “Yeah. He was nice to me.” 

“That’s good.” 

A tepid silence pervades for a moment. 

“Do you want a biscuit or something? Or we have noodles and soup and stuff in the storage room, I’m happy to make you something warm if you want that.” 

“You guys are like a restaurant,” you say, still not willing to look at him. 

“It’s nice to have options.” 

You nod hurriedly, sick to your stomach all over again. Options. Decisions. 

Somewhere in the room, they turn on a radio. Shoes squeak on the waxed floor, a boy laughs like he’s being tickled. It was a mistake to come tonight. You desperately want someone to hug you and you know it’s too much to ask for, staggering to your feet with a headrush to be blinked back. 

“You okay?” James asks.

“Yeah. Um, where’s the toilet?” 

“Back out of the double doors, they’re right in front of you, okay? Straight in front and then to the left, you can’t miss them.” 

“Okay.”

“Wait, Y/N?” he says. 

You shoot him a look that betrays your surprise. 

“Sorry, Remus told me to keep a look out for you. I just wanted to say, I know this is different, and it’s weird, I get that, and I have no idea why you’re here tonight, but I promised Remus I wouldn’t upset you, and I think I already have.”

“He didn’t tell you why I’m here?” 

“Of course not.” James blows a breath that makes his hair fly away from his face in a wave. “It’s none of my business why you’re here. My job is to make sandwiches. I mean, some people come here just for the sandwiches or the warm room, and that’s fine.” 

“The sandwiches are that good?” you ask. 

“They’re great. We don’t fuck around, I use the real salted butter in the foil wrappings and the thick bread and everything. Proper ham, not the wafer thin stuff. And there’s veggie bacon too, if you don’t eat meat. I don’t know, could you please just let me feed you something? Remus won’t forgive me if you came here and you didn’t even eat.” 

“I think you’re using Remus as a ploy,” you say quietly. 

“I am! So let’s go have a sandwich or a biscuit or something.” He waves his biscuits at you. “They’re Border’s. Butterscotch Border’s, you literally can’t ask for better.” 

Just try. Be brave for a bit. “I like the uh– the lemon ones.” 

James shoots up onto his feet, grinning. “Amazing taste. Let’s go find you some.” 

—

James takes you to the refreshment table. He finds you lemon drizzle biscuits, two packets, and he pushes two more into your hands with the command to take them home. He offers to make you dinner again when Lily arrives in a tizzy, with a chubby baby on her hip. 

Harry, she says. Just turned three. Scandalised everyone at home, Lily’s sister kicked her out, disaster. Harry, though, is beautiful. James and Lily are beautiful, and happy. James takes Harry into his arms the moment he sees him murmuring about his boy, and the sensation of guilt under your skin grows worse than ever. 

How are you liking group? Lily asks. Would you come back next week? That’s great! I’m so glad to hear it. 

—

You’re walking through Wilmand Street to the corner shop a few days later when you see him. Brown hair wet with snow, ashing a cigarette into the brick wall by the library. Remus cringes as he does it, blowing smoke from the side of his mouth in a call, “Y/N!” he says, “Hey, lovely, how are you? Sorry about the smoke,” he adds. “I was hoping I’d see you this week.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I wondered how you were doing.” 

“Well, don’t worry about me, I’m okay. I…” You cringe, pulling a hand down your sore chest. “I owe you an apology. I’m sorry for the other day, for dumping that stuff on you, you don’t even know me and I told you such a horrible thing and made you worry, and your friends were so nice to me at the community group and I just didn’t say thanks or anything. I’m genuinely ashamed of myself.” You smile a weird smile, clunky, attempting to brush everything away like it didn’t mean anything, silly little you. “All the time.” 

Remus’ expression goes odd, a wall you can’t read, left searching his winter jacket for clues as to how he’s feeling. “I don’t think you have anything to be ashamed of,” he says, finally and simply. 

“It was rude of me.” 

“I have some experience with feeling ashamed for the things other people have done,” he says, flakes of snow kissing his shoulders, a white dot coming to rest and melt on his cheek. “I understand why you’re feeling this way, and it’s expected, but… How do I put this?” 

You watch his eyes. Remus struggles to say anything more. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen a flicker of insecurity on him. He always seems calmly settled, as though he’s thought about the world and found what it is he was looking for in it a long time ago. 

“Just because we think something doesn’t make it true,” he says, hiding his hands in his coat pockets. “You might feel like it was wrong to tell me, but it wasn’t, and you might think you were rude to my friends, but you weren’t. They didn’t have a single bad word to say about you. Not that either of them tend to say anything disparaging about anyone,” he adds as an afterthought. 

“I wish I didn’t tell you, is all.” 

“I’m sorry. I can go on as though you didn’t, if that’s what you want, whatever you want.” 

You look down at your chest, nodding. “Okay.” 

Which isn’t a yes or no to his suggestion, but he doesn’t pull you up on it. “Okay. Are you going to the pharmacy?” 

“I– no. But I did hope to ask you something.” He nods, as if to say, Go on. “It’s about the sex clinic.” 

“What about it?” 

“I don’t really know what it is.” 

Remus looks around the street and then up and down your arms. The jumper you’re wearing is thin, your teeth aching to chatter, and he’s noticed it already. “Do you want to have this conversation over tea, lovely?” he asks. 

“Decaf?” 

“Yes, and biscuits, if you’re interested.” 

You follow Remus up the marginally steep hill that makes up Wilmand Street and enter the pharmacy behind him. It’s wooden front and newspaper clippings give way to the starker insides, where you find Sirius sitting at the front desk. Or rather, sitting on it, corded telephone held between his ear and his shoulder. “Oh, he’s just come in, but he has company. Yeah, he said.” Sirius presses the phone to his shoulder to give you both a small but earnest smile. “Hey, you’ve been snowed on. Turn the heating up before you catch your death.” 

“It’s been caught,” Remus says with a wave. “We’re going to sit in the kitchen. Tell Reg not to interrupt us.” 

Your mouth falls open, but Sirius only salutes his —friend? coworker? “James says he’s giving the phone a sloppy one for you.” 

“Lovely.” Remus laughs brightly, his hand slipping behind your shoulder. “Alright?” he asks. 

You give a nod and continue following him past the inside door to the kitchen you’d sat in before. Remus flicks the kettle on and sits down, forcing you to take his cue and sit opposite of him. 

“Much warmer in here,” he mumbles, stripping out of his coat. “Alright. What did you want to ask me about the sex clinic?” 

“Um… I don’t know. How do I go there?” 

“We’ll make an appointment. It’s not far from the leisure centre, so you can walk, or I can book you a taxi, give you a lift. We'll work something out.”

“And they… won’t mind that I– that I don’t really know what I’m doing?” 

You almost miss the dissatisfied noise he makes over the rising sound of the kettle. “They won’t mind.” 

“Do I have to tell them what happened?” 

“No. I mean, I assume it’s better if they have a clearer picture of the circumstances, but then again, you’re entitled to your privacy. You could just say you’re concerned about your intimate health.” 

“But they’ll ask questions.” 

“Yeah, they will. I know you don’t want to answer them, and that’s okay. You don’t have to answer them. Doctor’s, pharmacists, we just ask about stuff because we have to, but there’s no law that says you have to answer.” 

Now you’ve had time to think about things beyond the aching and the angry horror, a new fear has curdled. “What if he gave me something?” you say under your breath. 

“Then we can get you whatever medicine it is that you need and we can work toward you feeling better again.” His head tips as the kettle clicks. “Did you still want tea?” 

“Yes, please.” 

Remus makes you each a cup of decaf tea, bringing sugar and milk to the table for you to add yourself. 

“We can go now, if you want to.” 

“To the clinic?” you ask. 

Remus nods slowly. “Mm-hm. It’s an emergency.” 

“You’d come with me?” you ask, not breathless, but almost. 

“If you’re okay with it and you want me to, I’ll come with you. It might not be so scary. Or I can ask Lily to take you.” 

It’s not Remus’ fault that the person who assaulted you was a man like he is, but it does sound less intimidating to go with a girl. You’re not sure why. It’s not like he hasn’t been kind since the minute you asked him about confidentiality or that he deserves your distrust, but even sitting in this room with him now talking about the clinic has made you uncomfortable again. “Would she mind?” 

“Lily would love to take you. I know that sounds strange. She wouldn’t love that you need to go, but she wouldn’t want you to go alone if you’re worried about it.” 

“And she’ll go now?” 

Remus pushes your mug toward you. “You have some tea and I'll go and ask James if she’s around.”

“I don’t want to be a burden.” 

“You’re not,” he says. “There’s biscuits in the cupboard, lovely. If you want some, you can help yourself.” 

Things don’t pass that day in much detail after that. When Remus returns ten minutes later, you’ve finished your tea, and Lily is with him. She was on her way here already. She’d be happy to take you to the clinic. 

So you go, and you get checked out, and you submit to their tests and their invasive, well-intentioned questions. Lily takes you to a cafe afterward and buys you a pastry you can’t do more than poke. She takes you home. You feel guilty for not saying thank you in the car, but you can barely speak. A few days later you get a phone call with your results. You take a course of medications. You cry yourself to sleep three days in a row, because, as they’d tested for STDs, they tested for something else, and they’d told you what you‘d already known. 

You’re as pregnant as your home tests said you are. Despite everything, you feel an emotion you hate, and you push it down again. 

—

The door to your flat shakes with a sharp knock. 

You startle and stand, not sure what you’d been thinking, a hole burned into the floor at your feet. You’re in no state to answer the door, wet hair dripping a river down your back and your pajamas old. There’s nothing for it. 

You take the handle into your hand and squeeze. 

Dark-haired Regulus is standing in the hallway. You let the door close just an inch between you. 

“Regulus,” you say, unsure if surprise will help or hinder you. 

“Hello.” 

“How can I…” 

“Remus asked me to check in on you.” 

You’re not sure you like what he’s saying. “How do you know where I live?” 

“Remus didn’t ask me to come to your flat, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

“No, it’s not. I’m confused that you know where I live when I didn’t tell you.” 

He holds a deft hand up in surrender. “I live across the street, I’ve seen you come into the building, and your last name is on the postbox downstairs. I’m not doing anything illegal.” 

Just weird, then. 

“Remus asked me to keep an eye out for you,” he says, “but you haven’t been to the pharmacy, naturally.”

“So your solution was to come to my house?” 

“I don’t think there’s any need to get twitchy.” 

But there is. There is. He might not know what it is, and you might find thinking about it feels like a serrated blade end squeezed in your fist, but there is a need. You don’t want him to be here. It doesn’t matter that he’s small and skinny and has a sweet nose. This is your place to be by yourself, and to have nobody know where you are. This is the locked door. 

He has the sense to soften his bravado. “Sorry. I’ve made you uncomfortable.” 

You try to relax your shoulders. Your ribs ache with the tension. “Please,” you say gently, “tell Remus that I’m alright. Thank you for worrying about me.”

Regulus looks to the stairwell leading to the foyer. “He’s going to Community Support tonight if you want to tell him yourself. I am, too.” He doesn’t look at you again. “See you later,” he says to the stairs. 

 —

You go to Community Support despite yourself.

“Can you forgive me for not flirting with you?” 

You surprise the urge to flinch hard, turning to the voice with a half-smile. Sirius is standing beside you suddenly, your faces reflected in the plexiglass covered notice board just outside of the community hall. “What?” you ask. 

“I don’t mean to be offensive. I haven’t flirted because I thought Remus might have his eye on you, and I don’t want you to think it’s because you’re not beautiful.” 

You have to turn to see him to realise he’s teasing you now to be friendly. “I’d be offended if you did flirt with me,” you say. 

“Marvellous, then I won’t.”

“Remus doesn’t have his eye on me, though. He’s just been giving me pharmaceutical advice, I suppose.” 

“Oh, I see. I thought maybe you’d… Well, never mind. Forget I said anything.”

He’s handsome enough that you’d be shocked if he actually did flirt with you, clear-skinned as his brother, but with a warmer smile, almost mischievous, like he knows something you don’t know and he’ll tell you for the right price. His shoulders are slim, his biceps particularly solid as he crosses his arms over his chest. He notices you noticing and gives a flex, to your laughter. “Like what you see?” he asks. 

“Sorry.” 

“We’re on the rugby team, you know.”

“You and Remus?” 

“As if, Remus doesn’t like sports. He’s more of a walker. James and I are the sportsmen.” 

Sirius didn’t strike you as somebody who plays anything either, but it’s not polite to say. 

“Well, aren’t you coming inside?” he asks. “We could use a face like yours in there tonight. Beautiful girls are great for overall morale.” 

You shake your head. “Don’t think so.” 

“You came all the way here. You could at least come in for a bit of cake or something.” 

“Community support or community kitchen?” you mumble. 

“Everybody gets hungry. The best part of being in a community is making sure nobody goes hungry for long, right?” 

You give him a sideways look. Somehow, someway, you’ve become acquainted with a circle of philanthropists. Normal people aren’t so generous. You’re too tired to be this kind. 

“What kind do you have?” 

“Carrot, red velvet, Victoria sponge, and plain chocolate, I think. Maybe a bit of walnut sponge if Marlene hasn’t mauled the whole thing.” 

You’re not sure you can stomach it, just he’s looking at you so nicely that you want to go in with him. “Okay.” 

“Okay?” he asks. 

“Yeah.” 

Sirius slips a hand behind your back, letting it hover an inch from your skin as he shepherds you through the double doors and into the main hall. It’s far more crowded than it had been on your first visit, a small circle of people already in chairs talking a ways from the crowded food table, pilfered, more sandwiches in hands than hands to hold them, and enough brewed coffee to scent the air. James is immediately noticeable crouching at the table, having pulled a crate of juice boxes from beneath it, laughing about something someone is saying to him —something Remus is saying, the tallest man in the room and somehow completely non-imposing, his voice more colour than sound as he talks. 

It must just be because Remus is attentive. Must be the memory of his nice hand on your shoulder, squeezing, that makes you pay special attention to his shaking. “Is he laughing?” you ask. 

Sirius tunes in quickly. “Yeah. He’s done that since we were kids. He can laugh like normal, but when something really has him it’s like he can’t get the sound out.” He chuckles himself. “Idiots. Come on, let’s get you your slice of cake.” 

You can’t help staring at Remus as Sirius takes you over to him and James. James is so happy to see you he almost loses his glasses. 

“You’re back! I thought my shitty impersonation of a counsellor might’ve scared you off. Don’t want some soup, do you?” 

“Don’t say yes out of pity,” Sirius says. “Nobody ever wants James to make them soup.” 

“You like my soup.” 

“I like Effie’s soup. She makes the best bowl of lemon chicken I’ve ever tasted, and you make a mediocre imitation of her recipe, which is as good as it gets while I’m away.” 

“Effie’s my mother,” James explains, clambering to his feet with the crate of small bottles of juice held to his chest. “Euphemia. And she does make the best lemon chicken soup, but mines just fine! And anyways, tonight I made winter vegetable because all the Christmas veg was 8p and I have a fuckton. It’s delicious. I cut the swede up so thin it melts in your mouth, I got fresh thyme from the garden, little bit of spinach, all of it cooked in a metric ton of butter.” 

Remus snorts softly. He meets your eyes, which has you smiling on automatic. “James is a bit of a soup addict.” 

”I–” You feel hungry for the first time in weeks. “I’d quite like to, uh, try some. If you really don’t mind.” 

James glows, shoving the case of juice onto the refreshment table next to the hot water towers. “Yes. How about toasties, lovely, d’you want a cheese toastie with it? You’ll love it.” He doesn’t wait for an answer. “Anyone else while I’m warming it?” 

Remus meets your eyes again, like you’re sharing a secret. “I’ll have a bowl, Jamie.” 

“Yes.” 

“Alright,” Sirius acquiesces, “and me. And Reg will, too, wherever he’s gone off too. But he won’t have cheese–”

“Just toast, I know.” 

James gets a look on him like he’s found the secrets of the universe. “I’ll make a garlic butter cheese toastie for all of you. Mm?” 

Sirius waves him away. 

Sirius grabs you a slice of cake even as you mumble about the soup and how it’s dessert before dinner. Doesn’t matter, he murmurs back, not worried about why you’ve gone shy, I promised you a slice.

You take an apple juice and follow him to a table. Remus comes with you. He looks sunnier today than the last time you saw him despite ever-cloudy weather. Maybe he’s just a bit golden. Steady, he sits at the table across from you with Sirius taking a seat perpendicular, the three of you three sides to a square, nothing to look at besides your hand squeezed around the handle of a plastic fork. 

“I’m sorry about Regulus,” Remus says. “I didn’t mean for him to visit you at home. He told me you weren’t thrilled about it, and I can’t blame you.” 

“I’m sorry too,” Sirius says, wrinkling his nose. “I have no clue why he did that.” 

“And Regulus would be sorry, he just has a hard time realising when he’s overstepped.”

You nod at the table. “It’s okay. I mean, it did make me uncomfortable, and I– wasn’t super polite to him. I just wasn’t expecting him to be at the door, that’s all. And he said sorry, actually. So it’s forgiven.” 

“Oh.” Sirius perches his hand in his head. “That’s unlike him. He doesn’t tend to be sorry.” 

“Neither do you,” Remus says. 

“It’s a family trait.” 

“Can I save this for after soup?” you ask, shuffling your plate to the side. It’ll be easier to eat your cake when everyone else is eating as well. 

“Course you can,” Sirius says, leaning back in his seat. “But if you don’t eat it, I’ll assume you don’t like me. I’m sensitive like that.” 

Remus rolls his eyes, again gifting you with a great feeling, as though you’re in on a secret with him. He’s wearing an aviator jacket that looks incredibly soft, worn but not tattered, sherpa insides flattened but clean. The sleeves warp as he crosses his arms in front of him on the table and leans forward, conspirator. 

“So, how was your morning? Besides Regulus’ unwelcome intrusion,” he says, almost drawling as Sirius does when he gets that playful look in his eye. 

You’re not sure how to handle these boys. But you want to try. You’re sick of having nobody, of being nobody, even if it’s a little discomfiting sometimes to be with them. “My morning was fine. Tries to get through all my washing but it’s a mountain, so I left it and had a long shower instead.”

“How long is long?” Remus asks. 

“Too long.” 

“Like Remus’, then. I’m a one and done man, wash and go.” Sirius peels forward, “And Remus takes hours. Uses all the hot water.” 

“You live together?” you ask. 

“We did for a bit, didn’t we?” Sirius says. 

“Six very long years,” Remus says. “But I have a flat, and Sirius lives on Wilmand Street now, thank god.” 

“Thank god indeed,” Sirius says, “now I can actually wash my hair on a semi-regular basis.” 

“Can you?” Remus asks. 

“What are you implying?” 

“Only that your hair seems distinctly unwashed lately, don’t worry.” 

“He’s showing off ‘cos you’re here,” Sirius says, smiling despite the accusation as he takes a hand through his hair and pushes it back from his face. “I wash plenty.” 

“Do you? I was almost hoping you’d stopped. Maybe that would explain the weird thing you have going on right here.” Remus scratches his upper lip. 

“Fuck off, you just don’t like a scratchy kiss–”

Remus laughs suddenly. After a moment, it tapers into silence, though his shoulders still shake, and you can hear his laughter in his voice when he says, “That charming thatch of stubble would be the last of my worries if I wanted to kiss you, Sirius.” 

“What’s top of the list then?” 

“The smell, obviously. I’m getting top notes of wet dog and a headier dampness–”

“You sick bastard,” Sirius says, sounding absolutely delighted at his friend's insult. 

“You just need a good wash, is all.” 

You don’t mean to, but you laugh. Giggle, really, entertained by them and shocked a little by the way they snip and snap at each other. You pitch forward, face angled down, eyes tempted to shut completely. Sick bastard, you think, laughing still. 

It only makes you laugh more when Sirius nudges you. “Hey, thought we were getting somewhere,” he murmurs. 

You giggle some more. “Sorry,” you squeeze out eventually. 

“Don’t be. He can take a hit. Even if he’s sensitive,” Remus says.

Sirius sniffs. “I’m not that sensitive. Can’t make a joke anymore without being entirely misrepresented.” 

— 

James’ soup becomes a staple for you over the next couple of days. Community Support is a daily occurrence, though some nights are more popular than others. The weekends are busiest, Friday and Saturday night, but Wednesdays have an uptick you aren’t expecting, sitting at one of the plastic tables with another cup or winter veg soup and a garlic buttered toastie. You blow on melty cheese as James brings the hot plate out to the refreshment table, making it easier to serve the many who want it. He’s gleeful, promising that they’re gonna love it, and then tacking on an amendment that anyone who doesn’t like it is more than welcome to something else from the kitchen. 

With payday for most at midnight Friday, or some time after, it’s the hump of the week that hits hardest. You don’t come for the soup, but some people do, and they can’t be blamed for it; stretching money out isn’t easy. 

Your stomach clenches. Your spoon wobbles in your hand. 

From across the room, Remus sends you a warm smile, a kid in his arms and another at his thigh, chattering away as their mam takes a well-deserved breather by the terracotta sofas. 

The next day is the same. James makes soup and ham sandwiches, ham off the bone, made it himself, and you pick at the crusts at a plastic table. Sirius keeps you company for a bit, and then Remus rags on him until he leaves. They’re both too smiley to believe any animosity. 

On Friday, James isn’t there. 

“Harry’s poorly.” 

“I thought he might’ve had a day off.” 

“He and Lily like the group too much for days off.” Remus scratches a hand through his hair. It’s the most boyish thing he’s ever done in front of you. “Are you liking it here? You haven’t missed a day all week.” 

“James makes a good soup.” 

“He left plenty, if you want it.” 

You’re not sure you can stomach it. You give a small shake of your head. “Will Harry be okay?” 

“Fine. He gets ear infections, James used to get them too, even when we were teenagers. He’s on antibiotics already, it’s just the crying that’s the worst. Makes him sick.” Remus smiles sympathetically. “Makes James sick, too. But they’ll be okay.” 

“That’s good. It’s too quiet here when James isn’t around.” 

The hall is practically silent. There are a few people milling around on the sofas and another handful drinking tea by the refreshment table. Mary is patting a crying woman with pink hair on the back. A two year old sits at her feet, staring up at her sullenly. 

“I could go turn on the radio.” 

You perch your chin in your palm, elbow on the table. Tired today. “That’s okay. It’s nice.” Quiet, but not lonely. 

“You feeling okay?” he asks. 

“Yeah.” You fight the urge to let your eyes shutter closed. “I’m okay. You okay?” 

“I’m great. I’m really glad you’ve been coming. I know you don’t stay for group therapy, and you don’t have to, but… I don’t know, I think it’s just good to be around people.” 

You feel like he meant to say a particular but dodged it at the last second. He hesitated. 

He said he wouldn’t bring it up if you didn’t want him to, but maybe you do, just so you know it was real, and bad. It was awful, wasn’t it? 

“I don’t like being alone,” you confess, scratching the back of your neck. “For a while…” You scratch scratch scratch, sounds of your nails over skin, then let your hand drop with a thump against your thigh. “I wanted to be alone. But now when I’m home by myself I feel awful.” 

“It’s normal to want company.” 

“Even after what happened?” 

“Especially after what happened. I think the stereotype is that people… experience something bad, and that they retreat into themselves, and that’s based on a real process of emotions,” —he talks quietly but surely, without a lick of condescension— “and a real sort of phenomena. Everybody needs time to lick their wounds, to put it heavily. But it makes sense that you’d seek out company when you’ve just had a really, really horrible thing happen.” 

You did retreat into yourself at first. Wasting days away in bed without an appetite, crying yourself sick and to sleep, hating yourself and the world and him, because it hurt so badly. But then you didn’t get your period when you were expecting it and it was like holding the times of a fork to a plug socket, a nasty shock flaring through your entire body from the tips of your fingers. And now you have decisions to make and a life to live after, it’s happening now, quickly. You aren’t feeling any better than you were that morning when you first woke up and realised you’d been attacked without fully knowing, but time is moving forward regardless. You don’t know why you crave other people, but you do. You like seeing Remus every night, even if he only talks to you once or twice. You like eating James’ home cooked food, like watching Sirius and Regulus bicker as they lean against one another, and you like seeing Lily press her nose to her baby’s. You wonder what that feels like. How soft is a small nose? What does it feel like to hold the person you made out of love and a little bit of every part of you in two hands? 

You’re still so lonely it’s palpable. There are moments throughout the day where you can’t face it head on, but the support group is genuinely helping, if it’s just to spend an hour outside of your head. 

Lonely, and with nobody to confide in. 

Remus watches you think for a while. He’s waiting patiently for you to speak again. 

“Can I tell you something stupid?” you ask softly. 

“Sure.” 

“Don’t laugh at me.” 

“I doubt I could.” 

You let out a deep sigh. He’s all browns tonight in his old jacket. Brown hair, brown eyes, brown jacket. “I was thinking about keeping the baby. I don’t know if you’d consider it a baby right now,” you murmur, staring at the corner of his mouth, “but I think I want it to be one. And I can’t stop thinking that it’s a bad idea.” 

“It’s your decision,” Remus says. When you sigh, he looks chastened, and you hadn’t wanted it to be a chastening. He clears his throat. “You already know that, don’t you?” Not expecting an answer, he leans back in his chair and levels you with a smile more friendly than you deserve. “Keep your baby if you want to, lovely. The point of– Well, of having the choice, is being allowed to choose yes, to choose to keep your baby, even if it’s a bad idea. Or looks like one.”

“I know, but…” 

But it’s a bad idea. But it happened because somebody hurt you. But you’re completely alone.

“I’m not upsetting you, am I?” he asks. 

“No, you’re not. You’ve been really nice to me,” you mumble, letting your aching eyes close as you lean into your hand. “It’s not you.” 

Remus settles for a few seconds. “Can I put my arm around you?” he asks finally. 

“Okay.” 

So he does. His voice drops to match your own, his elbow right between your ribs as his thumb skirts across the top of your shoulder, “I’m sorry I can’t fix it for you, I wish I could tell you what to do that’s going to make you the happiest. I can’t, though.”

“I know.” 

He rubs your shoulder. “I know you know.” 

There’s a lot to think about. You aren’t pregnant by a miracle. Something bad happened to you, and the choice is yours now to take, and no one would blame you for wanting to forget the whole thing. At least, nobody here at the support group would. It’s not like you haven’t thought about it; lately, it’s the only thing on your mind. But the guilt of wanting it won’t go away. 

“Sorry you have to do this again,” you mumble. 

“What, give you a hug?” Remus’ voice turns softer. It feels less like the kind words of a stranger and more like a friend. “I don’t mind it.” 

You try to stop feeling guilty. The most you can be right now is looked after, at least for a while, for as long as Remus will hold your shoulders. 

“It’s not your fault,” Remus says. “You know that, too, I’m guessing. What happened to you wasn’t your fault.” 

You’re not so sure. It’s a different guilt to look at in whatever light finds you when it happens. “I know,” you say, half a lie. 

“And I know you have no reason to trust us with something so huge, but we’re here for you. That’s the whole point of the group.” 

You sigh heavily. “I know,” you say under your breath. You’re just not sure it’s going to be enough.

𖦹

hi thanks for reading the first part! this is a heavy one but it’s also a fic I’ve wanted to write for a long time, or rewrite <\3 some of you may have read my first go at this years ago and I’m hoping to tie in some of the old stuff but it’s also its own story hopefully, it’s shaping up well! 

https://rapecrisis.org.uk rape crisis UK — they have a support line! and many many articles

information about rape crisis https://247sexualabusesupport.org.uk/faqs/

[h0neylvst]

i wish he was real 💔

winter mornings

sirius black x fem!reader

upcoming content: fluff!!! literally just fluff!!!! mention of smut at the end, but only a little.

authors note: :] been a hot minute since i wrote something but i hope you all like it! please please please reblog or comment if you enjoyed! it gives me sm motivation❄️

word count: 1.2k

masterlist

the staccato clicks of sirius’ back as he twisted his spine in the sheets served as your alarm for the past week. he let out a soft groan as he ran his hand down his face, then through his hair- which even after two years of being his girlfriend were you mystified at his ability to have his dark locks always fall perfectly into place. “it’s so not fair,” you muttered and you could see a grin spread across sirius’ face before he fully turned back to face you.

sirius darted his stare across your form, your warm body wrapped up in blankets and an image of the stuffed bear he treasured as a child flashed in his mind, only doubling the love inflating him. even with half your face smushed in the pillows and sleep in the corner of your eyes, to him, you’re a siren. he immediately flopped back onto the bed, pressing his body as close to yours as possible, letting his fingers dance across your waste and you shivered from the cold he let in when he lifted the blankets.

“what’s not fair, my love?”

“you.”

“me?” sirius’ eyebrow quirked up, the giddy smile on his face only growing.

“yes, you. your immune to bedhead. it isn’t fair.” you pouted.

sirius let out a giggle that, if he wasn’t lying right in front of you, you’d believe would have come from a child. you remembered when you first met sirius, you couldn’t even look him in the eye, he was that intimidating (and attractive) to you, but now you’re the one who makes him grow bashful from a little compliment slipped into his mornings.

“what can i say, doll, some of us are blessed by the hair-gods.”

you hummed agreeably, twisting his strands through your fingers and sirius basked in the warmth of your skin touching his. god he was pathetic and god was he happy. “and some of us are blessed by them being our boyfriends.”

sirius giggled again, he’s been doing that a lot lately, “c’mere silly,” he whispered, the last syllable already affected by his lips pressing to yours. with a sharp inhale, he branded his hand to the small of your back, bringing you impossibly closer to him as his lips parted and he tilted your head for better access.

the way sirius kissed was addicting. he held you to him tightly, greedily, eating up all the love and affection he never believed he’d ever be on the receiving end of. the way he warmed you from your head to your toes, mouth working yours with passion and care that made you believe he wanted to sometimes eat you up whole, have your body meld into his until you became some “two headed, one body, blob” (his own words)

sirius recalled this to you during a late night makeout session earlier into your relationship, sirius’ eyes rimmed red from the high he was riding, and he pulled back to tell you his wishes.

“siri�� that’s so gross!”

“it’s not gross! it’s lovely, we’d be one big person made out of love! but with two heads so we could still chat.”

your body shook as you laughed at the memory. “oi, wha’s s’funny?” he muttered against your lips, “not exactly good to make your girl laugh while your kissing ‘er.”

you let out another bark of laughter, falling back onto the pillow and sirius fell helpless to the magnetic pull you had on him as he rested his head on your chest. the snow was roaring away outside, making it impossible for either of you to leave the flat. not that you wanted to anyway. he couldn’t believe how lucky he was, how lucky he is. a pang of something dark struck in his ribs as he thought of how young he was when he came to terms with being forever alone. how whoever he could pull at some bar or club would be enough to satisfy him. he never thought he’d memorize the rhythm of someones footsteps, come home to two tea-stained mugs in the sink of the flat he shared. never thought someone would be able to split his chest in two and reach in to hold his heart in their soft, soft hands. never thought he wouldn’t find that enough. he wanted to give himself to you entirely.

“what’re y’thinking about?” you asked softly, lightly scratching his scalp and sirius practically purred as he bonked his head against your hand.

sirius propped his chin on your collarbone, faces merely millimeters away from each other. his sparkling silver eyes traced your face in a way that would have made you intimidated in the early days of your relationship, but now you allowed yourself to bask in his gaze.

“you,” he said simply.

“sirius black is thinking about me? wow, dreams do come true!” you gasped, a beaming smile splitting your face.

sirius rolled his eyes at your surprise and snuggled up closer to your warmth, his face fitting into the crook of your neck.

“for your information doll, sirius black is always thinking about you,” he rasped in your ear.

it couldn’t be said any other way, your heart felt like it was going to explode. every now and then sirius would say something so lovely it stopped you in your tracks, made your brain short circuit. and he knew it.

“siriusssss,” you whined, trying to hide your face with no luck as sirius gripped your shoulders.

he chuckled, his stomach rustling the thin sheets. “it’s true,” he crooned.

the two of you laid like that as the minutes of the morning ticked on, both staring at the snow falling down outside the window.

“there is no chance we can go out in that.”

sirius snorted incredulously, “did you have any plans today?”

you turned in his arms, facing him, “well no, but siri, we’ve been inside all week. we’ve become hermits!”

sirius rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, “that’s what winter is about!”

“spending all day lazing about?”

“yes! spending all day under the covers, drinking hot chocolate-“

“that you spike with irish liquor”

“drinking hot chocolate! watch that sass, little lady, or you won’t get to know what the third thing is, and if i know you,” he laughed hautily, “and i think i do, you’ll be sorely disappointed.”

you could feel the once warm energy around you both crackling with electricity, “oh i will be, will i?”

“mm-hmm”

“well, we can’t have that. siri,” you began, blinking your eyes at him as sweetly as you could. the way sirius’ smug grin fell for a second revealing his soft, enamored smile proved to you that it worked. “please tell me what else winter days are for? i would hate to be ‘sorely disappointed.’”

“ah, for you, doll? anything.”

sirius pressed his lips to your ear, shivers ran down your spine.

“winter days are for sleeping, drinking hot chocolate, and eating your girl for lunch.”

the snow was halfway up your window by now and sirius’ hand running up and down your leg further made you feel like the two of you were the only people on earth.

sirius pressed hot kisses to your cheek, trailing downwards your body. “thank god for winter days then.”

[h0neylvst]

lovely lovely elle you have this wonderful ability to make me swoon over words on a screen 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

please keep hitting on my girlfriend…. 💵how much for a fic💵

YUP sure okay 🫡

moonwater vs Barty Crouch Jr x fem!reader [700 words]

CW: pre-established poly!moonwaterkiller, flirting, swinging? I guess, semi-open relationship/boundaries idk

Remus felt bad, he really did; he’d been caught ogling you. Again. 

It wasn’t right; you were in a relationship, he was in a relationship. His boyfriend was standing right beside him (ogling you as well, but that was another matter altogether). 

And he’d been caught.

He let out a sigh and made to approach you and your boyfriend - planning to apologise for being a creepy sod - when he noticed the telltale signs of mischief in your boyfriend’s eyes. 

“Lupin, Regulus.” Barty drawled, his sardonic smile growing nearly tenfold when his eyes fell on his blushing yet scowling housemate. “Come to admire the view?” 

“Barty…” You murmured shyly, suddenly unable to look anywhere but at your shoes. They were nice shoes, mind you; Remus wasn’t sure how you could stand in them, much less float around in intricate ballroom style dances that usually took place at the Yule Ball, but they were beautiful all the same.

You were beautiful all the same.

Fucking dammit, this was what had gotten him in trouble in the first place.

“Oh come now, treasure. It’s not their fault, yeah?” He cooed at you patronisingly, brushing a gentle finger over your no doubt scorching cheeks as you continued to refuse eye contact with any of the wizards. “I can hardly fault them for recognising such beauty when it’s standing right in front of them.” 

“Are you teasing us or her?” Regulus bit out, and Barty’s smile was officially beaming.

“Take your pick?”

“You do look lovely tonight, dove.” Remus offered earnestly, wincing at the moniker that seemed to slip out on its own accord; Barty’s shoulders seemed to raise in excitement. “I’m sorry if we’ve made you uncomfortable though, we shouldn’t be staring.”

You stole a glance at Remus then, as if confirming for yourself that he was being sincere before you turned to scowl at Barty as you responded. “S’not you making me uncomfortable.” 

Barty let out an offended scoff and clutched at a set of nonexistent pearls. “What did I do?”

“You’re goading them.” 

“Yeah, you’re goading us.” Regulus parroted rather immaturely. Remus pat his hip chidingly. 

“As I’ve said already, they can hardly be faulted for recognising what a beautiful witch you are.” He argued, smile turning mischievous again before he continued. “And I can hardly be faulted for showing you off.”

“Oh for Salazar’s sake.” Regulus hissed, finally moving to step in front of Remus. “Care to have this dance, Y/N? Get away from your lunatic boyfriend?” 

Your smile seemed to be both relieved and shy as you accepted his outstretched hand. 

“Thank you.” 

And Remus watched Regulus swift you away, glaring menacingly at Barty and then victoriously at Remus before the two of you disappeared into the crowded dance floor. 

“I really am sorry, you know. I don’t mean to make it weird.” Remus offered sincerely, watching Barty’s brows furrow in confusion.

“Sorry for what?”

“I-” Remus started, suddenly confused as to the notoriously territorial, rather maniacal boy’s behaviour. Or rather lack thereof. “Well…”

“For checking out that absolute bombshell?” He provided, gesturing towards your general direction with a flippant thumb. “I can hardly blame you for that, can I?”

“Well…I- I guess, but we shouldn’t make it so obvious. Or try to control ourselves with the endearments.” He muttered to himself at his slip of the tongue.

“Oh, gods no.” Barty denied quickly, looking almost distraught at the thought. “Please keep hitting on my girlfriend.” 

Remus could only stare at him, dumbfounded. 

“In fact, you should up the ante; have you seen how cute she gets when she’s all flustered? Or when she pretends to be peeved over it? The little furrow between her brows is my favourite.” He added with a laugh. 

“What?” Remus finally managed.

Barty’s smirk turned playful. “Come now, Lupin. It’s all in good fun, yeah?”

The Slytherin began taking slow steps backwards from Remus, giving him a very pointed and obvious appreciative once over. “In fact, it’s really rather hot.”

And with that, the wizard shot Remus a flirty wink and disappeared into the body of bodies lining the dancefloor, leaving Remus standing near the punch bowl very confused and a little aroused.

[h0neylvst]

these are so definitely canon i need them carved into the pyramids 🙏🙏🙏

My Marauders Headcanons:

(Part 1)

- Sirius sings in the shower, no matter the hour, the situation or whether he has company, if he's in the shower he WILL perform (however he sings really quietly if he knows someone is sleeping close to the bathroom, or he just resorts to humming). When he was a child he was forbidden from making too much noise around the house, so he just hummed or sang whenever he happened to have a moment of privacy, which often meant during a bath or in his bed chambers. The habit kind of stuck.

- Peter is a giggly drunk. He laughs at every little thing in a really carefree way he'd never be comfortable with when sober, and it's so contagious that it usually ends with everybody in stiches

- Remus has always had a lot of anxious tics as a child and he's never really managed to outgrow some of them, so he picked up smoking to try to stop biting his nails or the inside of his cheeks. Only now he's addicted and he's always fidgeting with a cig or a lighter in hand

- Marlene was mainly raised around boys. She was the second child and the only girl out of four siblings, and she had an especially close relationship with her older brother. James and Peter were among her first friends ever and she only ever played or hanged around boys who were her brothers' friends.

Mary was her first female friend ever (and she had a monstrous crush on her from Day 1)

- James HATES sleeping alone. Up until he was around six years old he would sleep in his parents' bed every single night (spoiled brat that he was) and since then he has always felt really off when he's had to sleep alone. His mum used to cover his bed in stuffed toys and plushies to make up for the lack of company, but James still missed the presence of someone else. After meeting Sirius, James rarely slept on his own for the first two years, and it was bliss for both of them (Sirius used to get horrible nightmares and being held helped)

- Peter practices stand up comedy in the dorm room and he has such immaculate comedic timing that the marauders always end up with tears in their eyes at his stories. He usually tells them about stuff he overheard in class or his horrible Hogsmeade dates. One time James pissed himself from laughing

- Sirius thought he'd never love anybody as much as he loved James or Remus, but the day Harry was born he instantly became Sirius' number 1 favourite person in the world. He bonded a lot with Lily over it

- Mary dances really, really well. Her bachata and merengue are so hypnotizing that once she put up a little show in the common room, per Sirius' request, and it was all the entirety of Gryffindor would speak about for the next two weeks. She was given lessons since she was a toddler by her caribbean relatives when she went to visit them in Martinique, and her parents later signed her up for summer classes during Hogwarts. She tried to teach each and every one of her friends a couple of times, of course, but they all sucked in their own way. Surprisingly, the only one who kind of got the hang of it in the end was Peter, who had a severely underestimated sense of rhythm. (Sirius was admittedly very good at the technical aspects of both dances, but he couldn't seem to shrug off the stiff posture he'd learnt to Waltz in, so he never looked quite natural enough)

- The marauders are codependent™️.

And it's not just James and Sirius, it's all of them! If ANYTHING happens to one of them without the other three knowing/being present to witness it, a reunion MUST be held in the dorms recounting the events in chronological order. And when I mean that they share almost every single detail of their daily lives, I mean every single one. James and Sirius are obviously the worst, and it took Remus a while to get used to being so open with them, but over time, it just became natural to him too. Peter just loves it because he likes being listened to and giving advice, so he's having the time of his life.

As a result of it, they're insane gossips. They know everything about almost every person in Hogwarts because one of them always ends up in a situation.

Mary, who's a sucker for good stories and scandals, has weekly meet-ups with James to share gossip.

Obviously this becomes a problem when Wolfstar get together. Their secret relationship lasts a grand total of four days before one of them eventually crumbles and spills everything to James and Peter (it was Remus)

- Lily likes tinkering. Manual labour helps her get her mind off of things that make her uneasy or anxious, so if she wants to disconnect for a couple of hours she resorts to knitting or making jewelry from scratch. Mary and Marlene start collecting colorful rocks around the perimeter of the lake and bringing them to Lily so she can make bracelets, necklaces and earrings. In a few months they have a whole collection of matching pieces that they wear all the time. Lily eventually moves on to bigger projects, like sewing dresses or knitting bags, usually as gifts for the people she loves.

She makes James a sweater of his favourite quidditch team for his 18th birthday because money is tight (which she feels incredibly bad about), but he likes it so much that he wears it every day for a month straight and the others have to wrestle him out of it to have the elves wash it

- Remus is unexpectedly very touchy with Sirius. He's always generally shied away from hugs or pats or kisses from his friends (mainly James), so everyone expected him to loathe PDA too, but Remus doesn't. On the other hand he craves it, and he always searches for a way to be touching Sirius in any and all situations. Holding hands or playing with Sirius' fingers stops him from wanting to bite his nails, having his hair played with relaxes him, and being kissed is one of his new favourite things in the world. So if it were up to him, he just simply would never want to detach himself from Sirius, like ever, but he's anxious about coming off as too obsessive, so he makes do with small touches

- Marlene has only ever had a small crush on one boy before realizing that she liked girls, and that boy was Sirius (she liked the longer hair and the cheekbones, the rest of his body not so much)

And, lastly, here's how they rank on most to least likely to be a sore fucking loser during any type of competition:

- Sirius (he's absolutely insufferable, complains and whines for hours even if he loses at goddamn tic tac toe)

- Lily (also insufferable, complains really loudly and quickly turns into a the most paranoid conspiracy theorist who thinks everyone else cheated)

- Marlene (not as bad as the first two, still very annoying. After losing, she gets in a sour mood for a while that only Mary can snap her out of)

- Remus (this man never makes a scene so, at best, he simply looks frustrated about losing. He can still get really competitive, though, especially academically)

- Mary (depends on the competition, but she's generally not a sore loser)

- Peter (a very decent loser, he takes a loss gracefully. Except at chess, because no one can beat him without cheating so he only gets mad because he knows that he's being tricked)

- James (he believes that a win should always be earned, so if he lost fairly he has no right to get mad about it. Unless someone cheated. In that case it's fucking over for everyone because he WILL be out for blood. 99% of the time he just pats his competitor on the shoulder and congratulates them)

[h0neylvst]

i loooooove sirius being a menace

Stolen Siblings and 10 Year Plans

poly!wolfstar x Rosier!reader who is to go nowhere near them under any circumstances [667 words]

CW: fem!reader, siblings, rivalries, chaos and fluff

“Oi! Rosier!” Sirius called, dodging a few first years who went careening by him as he made his way over to the Slytherin table. “What’s the deal with your sister?”

Evan fought (and lost) against an eye roll as the hand currently gripping his spoon tightened.

“For the last time” he seethed “I have no bloody clue what a wrackspurt is.”

“No, not that one.” Sirius dismissed with a wave of his hand. “The other one.”

Evan’s eyes narrowed at the Gryffindor. “Y/N?”

Sirius smiled. “Yeah; what’s her deal?”

“What do you mean ‘what is her deal’?”

“You know…is she single? Does she like blokes? Do you know where I can find her?”

Sirius had barely gotten the end of his sentence out when Evan’s hand slammed against the table, earning him a look of concern from Dorcas who protectively slid her bowl of porridge closer to herself.

“Why in the buggering fuck would you want to know?” Evan demanded.

Sirius offered a flippant shrug of his shoulder. “She’s fit, yeah? I’m thinking of asking her out but thought I should check first.”

“I thought you were dating Lupin!”

“I am dating Lupin!” Sirius confirmed with a wide smile just as Remus appeared behind him.

“‘Lo, Rosier. Meadows.” Remus greeted.

“Lupin.” Dorcas greeted in turn, though Evan didn’t bother with the pleasantries.

“Oh come on! What’s with you bloody Gryffindors?! Your weird friends already stole Reg!”

Sirius’ brows furrowed as he looked towards the offending weird friends currently sitting on either side of his brother at the Gryffindor table.

“Stole? Wasn’t he technically mine first?”

Evan didn’t grace that with a response, simply pushing his bowl away from himself and making to stand.

“No. Nope. Absolutely not. I cut my losses with Reg, I made peace with the Hufflepuff,” Evan stated, gesturing vaguely to Regulus and then to Pandora who was sitting nearly on top of one Xenophilius Lovegood, “but Gryffindors?! Not a fucking chance.”

“Awe, come now, Rosier, there’s no need for that-” Remus started, but was interrupted by Evan calling Barty’s name.

“You rang?” Barty drawled as he jumped down from one of the high windows, apparently having been enjoying his breakfast from above.

“They’re doing it again.” Evan complained.

“What do you mean?”

“These two fancy Y/N.” He explained petulantly as he gestured towards said two.

“Again?! What is with you Gryffindors?!” Barty screeched, turning to ask what Sirius assumed to be a rhetorical question. “First Potter and Evans ruin our Blackier wedding-”

“The what wedding?” Remus asked cautiously.

“The Black-Rosier wedding, Lupin, do keep up.” Barty spat at Remus’s interruption. “Do you know how adorable my nieces and/or nephews were going to be?!”

“When in Merlin’s name was Reg and Y/N dating?” Sirius asked then.

“They weren’t.” Dorcas offered in monotone. “Barty just likes making 10 year plans.”

“But…other people’s?” Remus tried, but the conversation was swiftly moving along.

“Go find Y/N,” Evan directed Barty, “she’s to go nowhere near these two.”

Barty’s interest seemed positively piqued at that; foiled 10 year plans forgotten. “Oh! A little game of finders keepers? Don’t mind if I do!”

And the two Slytherin’s were off.

“Are…are you boys going to do something about that?” Dorcas asked after a few beats of silence, gesturing towards the direction that the two boys had just disappeared with a flippant thumb.

“She’ll sniff those two out in a matter of minutes and avoid them like the plague.” Remus snorted as leaned forward to pluck a strawberry from the spread. “Besides, we’ve got a secret weapon.”

“Astronomy tower.” Sirius offered conspicuously as he folded the map up and tucked it back into his pocket.

“Brilliant.” Remus confirmed, offering Dorcas a salute. “Best be off.”

“Stay out of trouble, will you?” Dorcas called after them, though she knew it was a lost cause.

“You know what, Meadows?” Sirius returned as he followed Remus backwards. “I don’t think I will.”

Dorcas let out a chuckle turned sigh. “Figures.”

[h0neylvst]

cowboy!james heals all wounds 🧘‍♀️😌🪷✨

Fake I.D

synopsis: cowboy!james is infatuated with you and your flirting, so you take him line dancing to get him to make a love

cw: suggestive content, 18+ only, grinding, flirting, use of the word pervert, James and reader are kind of idiots in love

Your hot pink and white boots will be the death of James and he knows you know that.

He can count on one hand how many times he’s seen you out of them and the total number of times is one- every other time, it’s been those godforsaken hot pink and white boots with a thick heel that makes your legs look like something out of his teenage wet dreams.

You’re not new in town, you and James have known each other since primary school but it was in secondary school that you really plagued his every waking thought. You were pretty, and kind, but also confident and didn’t take shit from anyone. James found it wildly attractive.

You and James hadn’t been close friends, but you’d always been friendly. His friend Sirius had introduced you both at a party, and you’d been friendly since that.

The turning point in you and James’ friendship had come not too long after you’d started working at a salon.

James’ parents own the biggest horse farm in town, and you’d rescued a tiny colt that had been trapped up in some bushes while you were on a hike, and drove it to James’ family ranch in the back of your pickup with tears in your eyes because of the cuts on its legs.

James had never seen you, loud, confident you, in tears like that and his heart nearly jumped out of his chest as you hiccuped through your words to tell him about the colt. He and his dad had taken it out of your tray and everyday the colt was on the ranch, you went over to check on him.

Eventually, James was able to nurse the poor thing to perfect health and then asked you if you wanted to name it after his dad told him they’d keep it.

James wasn’t shy himself, but sometimes when you looked right into his eyes, lashes framing your eyes, it made his heart stutter.

“You really think I should?” You had asked, eyes wide with excitement but also a bit of apprehension.

“Yeah, ‘course. It’d only be right.” and as you had stroked the near blood coloured mane, the face of the horse in your other hand, the name came to you easily.

“Copper.”

You and that horse and James had been inseparable after that and James nearly lost his breath every time you went to the ranch after that- cutoff shorts, hot pink and white boots and shirts James swore made him feel like a pervert.

Now, you’re at James’ ranch, a brush in Copper’s mane as you look at James tending to his own filly- Moondancer.

“Please Jamie? It’s fun and you never stay for the dancing.”

He knows he’s fighting a losing battle. You’re doing those puppy dog eyes and you’ve got red eyeliner on to match your shirt and James feels a little overwhelmed with his attraction to you.

“I’ll be your partner all night, Jamie. Won’t leave you to be eaten up by the ladies- save that luxury just for me.”

You giggle when he sputters and his cheeks flush. “Alright, angel. What time do I meet you at the Boneyard?”

You gasp, all faux aghast. “You won’t pick me up at my house? Where’s your southern hospitality?”

James rolls his eyes, “I can do that too. Say seven or eight?”

You pop your hip as Copper nuzzles into your hand. “Will you be all done by then? I don’t want you to cut into your chores and stuff Jamie?”

You’re so earnest, and the flirting has been put to a pause making James turn to goo.

“I’ll be all done, angel. Don’t worry.”

At five thirty, you’re all finished with your makeup, nothing too extreme, just a smokey eye with glitter on your lids and the heavy black eyeliner you noticed James likes.

Your hair is out and ripples down your back in loose curls, your most recent haircut making them look even better than usual.

You’re not trying to impress him, but you have a plan for how tonight is going to end and you want James to finally take all your flirting as seriously as you mean it.

So you dress up and pull out all the stops that you know he likes- the hot pink boots a must, your low rise jeans, and your skirt that says, ‘save a horse.’

When James knocks, you squeal, boots clacking as you race to the door.

“Hey Jamie,” you sing-song as you pull the door open, James taking in a deep breath as his eyes rake over you.

“You look stunning.” There’s a little husk to his voice that you love.

As he gives you a once over, you do the same. He’s dressed in his most relaxed pair of jeans, a blue wash that makes his already thick thighs look ever thicker, a black t-shirt that clings to his arms and nearly makes you drool and his hat. God you love and hate his hat- you love it because he looks stunning in it; but you hate it because it hides away his pretty curls. God you love those curls.

“So do you, Jamie.I like your shirt, it makes your arms look nice.”

He smirks, a little emboldened. “Oh yeah?”

You nod, stepping out of your door, “Ready to go?”

James nods and holds his arm out to you, smiling to himself when your hand wraps around his bicep and not his forearm.

The Boneyard is packed as it usually is, most of the patrons are already more than a little drunk, but you spot some of the girls at your salon, some of James’ friends and some tourists who’re no doubt in tonight for the line dancing.

“A cherry vodka angel?” James asks, wanting a drink to dispel some of his nerves.

“Yes please, James. I’ll go see what songs they have for tonight.”

James nods, watching you walk off first before going over to the bar. Sirius is working tonight, a smirk on his face as he spots James and then spots where he’s looking.

“Finally doing something about all her flirting, Potter?” he asks and James flushes a little as Sirius passes him a beer and then makes your drink without James saying a word.

It takes him a little by surprise that Sirius knows it, but then it dawns on James that he talks about you a lot to his best friend. A lot.

“Trying, but she makes me so fucking nervous, Pads.”

Sirius laughs, patting James on the arm.

“Doesn’t sound so bad, Jamie. You’d be a fool not to be nervous about that girl. She’s trouble all over in the best way.”

James is very inclined to agree.

“Hey Siri, you being nice to James?” You take your drink gratefully and take a sip.

“I was about to ask you the same thing, trouble.” You shrug with a pretty devious smile on your face- James’ heart rate picks up. “Saw you looking at the setlist, you and Potter planning on dancing?”

You nod, smiling when you look up and find James looking at you with fondness written boldly on his face. He’s easy to read, never one to guard his feelings, James.

“Yeah, they’re finally doing Fake I.D again so I figured I’d take James’ virginity in that regard.”

James, bless him, doesn’t sputter, which he’s eternally grateful for. Sirius shares a wicked grin just like yours.

“Don’t make it too vulgar, Remus’ll run you off the dance floor.”

You put your hands up, “I make no promises.”

James is saved from any more teasing from either of you when the song starts playing.

“C’mon Jamie, it’s starting.” He lets you pull him after he downs the last of his drink.

“What if I mess it up?” He whispers as you tug him along. Your hair whips at his chest as you turn to look back at him and he can smell your vanilla shampoo and shuts his eyes for a brief moment.

“You won’t, just follow my lead. You’ll be perfect.”

It takes him a couple steps to get into the song, but seeing you smiling and giggling makes James fall deeper into the music.

The floor rumbles with everyone’s steps, but all you can think about is James behind you as you dance in a circle.

“James!” you squeal when you feel his hands hold onto your hips, James smiling wide as you lean into him a little.

As the guitar solo riff continues you know you have to stay close to James for this part. It isn’t hard because it seems like you’ve both magnetized to each other more than before. As the beat drops, you feel like time has slowed, the words filter into your ears all muffled and soft as you pull James close by his shirt, your chests pressed together. “Hey mister, won’t you sell me a fake i.d.”

You see his breath hitch more than you feel it. You’re both grinding on each other on the dance floor, and it’s way more erotic than anything else either of you could’ve been doing.

“Fuck,” you feel the whisper as James’ hand cements itself to your hip and one of yours buries in his hair.

You tip his hat onto your own head and you swear James’ chest rumbles. “Angel.”

You’re breathless as you and James dance, you feel like you’re the only people on the dance floor.

He dips you backward and you bite back a moan when one of his hands travels up your back to keep his hat on your head. As he picks you up, his fingers knot in your hair and your lips just barely meet.

“James.” You breathe his name and he groans.

“You really are trouble.” his lips meet yours, tentatively at first, and then his mouth consumes yours the moment you kiss him back.

You pull apart and smile, “Took you long enough, James.”

He shakes his head, his dimple poking out as he chases your lips. “You look so good in my hat.”

His stare turns you a little shy and you duck to hide your face in his chest; James laughs at the action.

“Come outta there, sweetheart. Can’t hide those eyes from me now.”

You groan, but look up at him. “Have you always been this smooth?”

James nods, tipping your chin up just a bit higher to kiss your lips again. “Just for you,” you beam at that. “My heart’s thumping.”

“Mine too,” You kiss his jaw, teeth scraping a second path. “Wanna get out of here?”

James slips his hand in your back pocket eliciting a keen he wants to hear more of. “Get your cute butt in my truck, angel.”

You giggle as James squeezes before releasing you, holding your hand with his hat sitting proudly on your head as you stomp your feet out of the bar to his truck. He really does love those hot pink boots.

[h0neylvst]

my personal headcanon is that hogwarts did have a student run newspaper and Rita Skeeter did write for it. And everyone loved her. She was super popular, that’s how she could get her news and quotes etc.

But then one time she wrote a horrible piece about someone based on gossip and hearsay and after that everyone started to realise she wasn’t really friends with them and thus the Rita hate began

Thank u for coming to my ted talk 😌🙏🙂‍↕️