#its haunted me for literal years now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

grimalkinmessor · 7 months

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Okay art side of tumblr I'm begging pleading for help because a few years ago I found my soul painting. At the time I had a shitty summer job and I couldn't justify buying it but it literally haunted my every waking moment until I went back for it like a week later, but by then it was gone. I don't know the name of it so I couldn't even look for another one like it or find out who painted it. But I'd very much like to!!! It's come back up recently and it's stuck in my mind and it'll probably languish through me as a constant regret for the rest of my days if I don't find it :')

It was a painting from Big Lots, with this big ornate gold frame, maybe about 4' by 2'. The painting itself was rather sketchy, like pencil lines. In the center there was a woman with her hair up facing away from the viewer, wearing a backless evening dress. White background, the only color painted in monochromes and oranges, the hair and dress being the starkest parts. I can't remember the exact price, but I remember it had a four in it? And I definitely didn't have $400 at the time but I was contemplating buying it, and it was still a chunk of change for nineteen year old me so likely around $40.

Does anyone know what this painting is called?? Has anyone ever seen it? Please help me find it, I've been quietly obsessing over it for years 🥹

#WHERE DOES BIG LOTS GET THEIR PAINTINGS DOES ANYONE KNOW #art #artwork #plea for help #artside of tumblr save me #save me artside of tumblr #paintings #painting #if you have seen this painting rest assured it's not mind-bogglingly beautiful or well made or anything but it captivated me instantly #i used to have a picture of it but then i DELETED it like an IDIOT bc it was TAUNTING ME from my phone screen #someone with more knowledge and detective skills than i please help #idk man i felt like narcissus before the river with that painting #its haunted me for literal years now

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mengyan · 5 days

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“I don’t want it to just be ‘me’ and ‘you’ anymore,” she mumbles, outstretching an unsteady hand. Shangguan Qian is so far away that she can’t even brush the edge of her clothes, let alone grasp her. “Can we… Can we be an ‘us’ again? Please?”

Yun Weishan watches Shangguan Qian carefully for her answer, sifting through the fog of the sea in her eyes. Wearing white and framed by the candlelight, she looks a little too unreal, like she doesn’t belong in the same plane as her at all.

Shangguan Qian exhales. She glances at her hand, keeping it hovering, trembling in mid-air.

“That’s not up to me, is it?” she returns. “What about you, Yun Weishan? Will you show me mercy, or will this all end the same way?”

破晓; daybreak

🌤️ of ten thousand journeys, the path home is the longest one to walk. 🌊 estimated 63k~70k (total) 🌤️ a post-canon fix-it— or, how shangguan qian and yun weishan change each other’s ending 🌊 starting october 25th, this fic will update every friday around 7 PM EST! 🌤️ with cover art and illustrations by the incomparable @notedchampagne <3

link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58230550

#my writing #ITS HERE. MY NEW MAGNUM OPUS. THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. MY MASTERPIECE. THE GHOST HAUNTING ME FOR THE PAST YEAR. ETC #started this fic one year ago when yzy ended and here we are one year later!! because you have to cook what you want to eat!!#thank you so so much sam for your incredible work; it's been such an honour getting to put weiqian through joys and horrors with you <3 #my journey to you #yunzhiyu #云之羽 #shangguan qian #yun weishan #shangguan qian x yun weishan #weiqian #these are just character notes for now sorry i have to like. remind everyone of canon first/introduce some of my own lore before #we officially get started. also i wanted to post that crazy insane batshit cover with smth and thought if i posted it with the prologue #it would be too much insanity at once. so #and yes that’s an estimated wc to be edited/confirmed when im done bc i still have stuff to write 😭😭😭 hence the delay 😭😭😭#but i wanted this to be out for the anniversary!! so we’re biting the bullet. i promise i will finish this fic it’s literally my baby #kudos comments reblogs are so so so appreciated thank you guys <33

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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do you ever just sit there thinking about your favorite ocs while violently shaking. god. clenches fist. They're So.

#every time a song from their Joint Playlist comes on i go fucking feral #the betrayal the refusal to Let Go the haunting the persisting love the renunciation the resentment the abandonment the resignation #the overwhelming desire to do good vs the fear of admitting you were wrong vs the two people you love most tearing each other apart #AGHHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK IM SUDDENLY DEEP IN THE ORIGINAL SAUCE #five seconds i was Normal. scribbling welcome home #then One Of The Songs Came On and now im losing my fucking marbles #perceived betrayals leading to real betrayals....#going too far and now its too late you're Committed you cant go back #he came to you thinking he could make you understand and you could work together to make things Better #and instead you ripped his heart out and left it bleeding on the floor for everyone to see #THEY MAKE ME MORE INSANE THAN LITERALLY ANYTHING #absolutely unprompted #the oc Unwellness comes and goes in waves but its the only true constant obsession with my life #god those three... my dearest darling Trio.... how old are they turning this year?#is it year eight of having them? year nine?#one of the two is for sure how long ive had My Specialest Boy Light Of My Life The Reason I Am Still Alive #the other two came after... maybe only mere months after but he was the first and he is just. i love him so fucking much #he is so so personal to me. he has a permanent place carved out in my chest #he sleeps on my ribs <3 #the other day i was reminiscing about his development over the years. his changes his different Versions #and fuck... he's really changed with me huh??#his past selves are echoes of my own self over the years #like he is Very different from me but at the same time. i created him with little pieces of myself sewn in #we hold the same views the same beliefs. im not him and hes not me but we're Kindred yk yk #i think i need to go listen to his playlist.... how long is it now... let me check... 15 hours 13 mins... 228 songs...#my gay 5'2 powerhouse of a guy. him <3 #maybe 'them' too he's played fast and loose with gender over the years. holy shit wait #his development echoes mine... i characterized him as 'fucks with gender norms' long before i realized my own gender fuckery #god damn. i love him even more now. i didnt think that was possible. im going to cry. hes so important to me #he has been with me through my worst years... and will be with me through all the hard times to come <3

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skitskatdacat63 · 3 months

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The double-edged sword of enjoying Chicago and knowing basically all the songs by heart, but also can't stop crying every time I watch/listen to any of them bcs I can't stop thinking about how covid robbed me of getting the experience of ever performing it :(

#*in the pit #its literally like the best show ever for the pit #and yet i learned all that music and got it stuck in my head for months(well years now lmao)#and for what.#for nothing.#UGHHHHHHHHH IT MAKES ME SO FUCKING SAD #WE HAD SUCH GRAND PLANS #and covid hit literally the week of the first full practice with the pit and cast combined #so ill literally never know what it would have been like to be on stage #it hurts my heart so badly #bcs i rly love the songs and know them so well but i cant enjoy them bcs i just get really sad #and not only did covid ruin that show. it also ruined any performances for the rest of highschool #bcs social distancing #so irs like. i felt such joy for 1 and half years #like got to do something i really vibed with #AND THEN IT GOT DESTROYED #i generally like the quarantine time bcs it changed me a lot as a person #but this. i cannot ever let it slide. it will haunt me for the rest of my life #bcs thw first musical i did. it was a very typical musical for pit #like wear all black. sit in the pit area. fun fun #but Chicago. the pit is literally part of the cast. its so front and center #but nope!!!! 😭😭#sorry angsting #also it will piss me off forever that in the recording of the other musical +#they cut out so many of the instrumental bits. like wow fuck us i guess!!#i remember buying the dvd and then being soooo disappointed and ive never touched it again #catie.rambling.txt

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botanicallyinclinednerd · 4 months

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I've been reminded that Hard Time is an episode that exists and I'm spiraling a little because of it

#i thought i would enjoy hard time back before i watched it #like a fool #'oh my favorite character gets trauma and struggles with it? fun!' it is not in fact fun #i know the whole point is that its fucked up. i know that #it does not stop me from being utterly horrified by the fact that obrien LITERALLY ATTEMPTS TO KILL HIMSELF #and then they never mention any of it again in any following episode #just drop that bomb on the table and go 'hey its fine! hes taking medication and getting therapy for this trauma so its all fine now!'#like its no big fucking deal. man was so scared of hurting his loved ones because of artifical memories giving him trauma that he decided to #kill himself. like what the fuck. what the actual fuck. who hurt that writers room #its been 4 years since ive seen that episode and it still haunts me #liv talks #tags are a doozy i apologize #ds9 #not even getting into the role julian plays if i do that ill curl into a ball and never come out

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verytendou · 6 months

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about to trauma dump to the ac*u and hope i get the job wish me luck

#theyre so funny for this question like what did they expect the response to be LOLLL #i know they had to change things to not get sued but like damn yall know this is just an excuse for me to trauma dump now #like lmfaaaaoooooo #anyways if i get this done in the next hour it will literally be the [TRAGIC-task youve put off for 2 months only took 15 minutes!]#meme all over again and that will just kill me bc i did put it off for an extra 10 hours today again #anyways i would like to be paid 30 bucks an hour so pleaseeeeeeeeeee hire me pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee #if not this its back to the motherland boys so get ready for a 3 hour time difference IM GONE FOREVER SOON #v.txt #literally so excited to graduate and leave for at minimum a year and be literally anywhere but here college is a lie friends #and dont do it unless you are 5345245u34% sure you want to bc i do feel like i have been scammed #I SHOULDVE DONE A TRADE!!!!!!#anyways hears hoping i get this job and find a different way to spend time in peru bc regardless i do miss it there #none of u understand the intricacies of being able to get pollo la brasa or ceviche whenever i want..... without my mom having to make it #none of u understand the intracacies of coming back from the MOTHER-motherland and having the capital police stop ur bus #anyways as per usual if your motherland isnt at least a level 4 DNT for us citizens dont even bother talking to me about it #HAVING YOUR DNI IN YOUR BACK POCKET AT ALL TIME-RS MAKE SOME NOISEEEEEEEE #realiziing i spent here's wrong earlier and i hope you know it haunts me but i wont change it so we'll all have to deal

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sorikkung · 9 months

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wgoin enjoyers wya. [rattles you around like a jar of marbles]

#i know its literally almost been a year and im so sorry #2023 was literally me speedrunning all the Canon Youth Events™ i missed bc i was too busy being depressed. like making friends #among other things. LMFAO.#twas a bit insane #things r normalising now tho #and this fucking chapter #that has been HAUNTING ME FOR THE WHOLE YEAR #is finally nearing completion #it might not be good.#well. some parts of it i really like actually #but the smut scene got edited so many times then changed entirely bc i fucking gave up dude i cannot anymore #now im just committing to what ive got even if i dont like it anymore i just need this chapter fucking POSTED n GONE #i realise my standards for myself are insanely fucking high so i could release this chapter feeling ass abt a couple scenes #n yall will probably not thing its any worse than the rest of it #thing is i write this more for Me than anyone else which is the problem but fuck it Me wants this chapter Finished so i can move on lmfaooo #HOPEFULLY i can finish it within the week #no promises tho lmfao #mischiefing time #what goes on in neverland

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awkward-dazai · 9 months

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IT HAS TAKEN ME FUCKING YEARS BUT IM FINALLY ABLE TO ACCESS THIS GODAWFUL ACCOUNT. i dont apologize for any inactivity and im surely not making a comeback, personally i’d like to forget this fucking blog ever existed. but im back nonetheless to give a life update or closing statement before i log out and finally live my life peacefully or smthn.

1. im not like this anymore. jesus christ. fortunately i’ve matured as a person now that i’m nearly 18 years old and i actually understand bungo stray dogs now.

2. nothing on here reflects who i am now. i fucking hate soukoku. i hate sskk. i hate bsd ships. i think a lot of the jokes on here were in poor taste and the whole schtick was character inaccurate… it was definitely fun at the time, but, alas, it is not that time anymore.

3. i have a new tumblr tjat u should probably go follow instead of this one if u ever want to see content from me. @nouveauxamoris 👍🏽

4. this has no relevance to anything else im just spreading my propaganda . chuuya nakahara is a trans woman . dazai osamu is a transmasc lesbian. dazai and chuuya have the exact same relationship dynamic as branch and his sleazy older brother from trolls. skk yaoi was never real and i no longer pretend like it was