#its happened in the past and has made me just. stop liking characters and fandoms all together bc i got sick of seeing it everywhere

[graysparrowao3]

2024 Writing Reflections

Thank you @little-paperboat, what a nice tag to receive, really interesting to reflect on these questions. I'm not sure who may not have a tag, here are some no pressure ones if you would like to join and an open invitation (no seriously, I really like this one I want to tag everyone lol)💛 @wakacreations @thylyre @faetouchedfool @barbwillbrb @lolliputian

What's been your biggest learning point this past year?

To embrace the joy of writing. This meant trying new things or putting them out there or just writing what spoke to me. Writing "easy" and not worrying about my prose - if I just wanted to write fun dialogue with the same damn dialogue tags, then go for it babe, let those blorbos yap. If I wanted to put in the most cliche, in-your-face metaphor, smack that literary device on the arse and send it out! If I had a short idea that I thought was fun, I could share it as a fic, or a post, or even just a message amongst people who like similar things. The more I embraced the joy of it just for its own sake the less anxious I felt about it.

How has your writing developed this past year?

Writing sexually explicit content. I'm very cautious about the explicit content I consume for my own psychological comfort, and it was quite liberatory to be in control of the writing and know what was going to happen, and definitely allowed my writing to grow in depth, gain a new skill, and explore more heavy and intimate themes.

Bad writing habits?

I get impatient and want to be done with something even when I know the editing isn't quite finished and then spend the next hour frantically making edits after it's uploaded.

Favorite thing you wrote?

I feel like this changes every time I reflect on it, probably because I like them for different reasons.

For now, I'm going to say Part 10, the main "concluding" part of the NB series. I was absolutely exhausted after I wrote it.

I'll also say chapter 10 in The Elturian Prodigy, because in it Rolan begins to figure out the events of Descent into Avernus, and I was proud to be able to come up with how he might do it that didn't seem super obvious but that an intelligent character could reason through.

Biggest win?

Finding support and kindness that uplifted me to such an extent that it has changed the trajectory of my life. I'm part of the many folks who have found their joy and creativity again thanks to fandom writing and the overwhelming and unexpected kindness of people in the online community spaces. I even had some people in real life remember I was trying to write again and ask how it was going and I had to not be a big emotional mess about it. Thank you online writing friends <3

Your favorite words of the year, aka the words you check each chapter for, making sure you didn't repeat them 788 times?

Everyone is always breathing in various ways. Lots of deep breaths, huffing, snorting, air catching in throats. Or chuckling in various dry, wry, ways. Or brows doing various things; raising, creasing, cocking.

This is a ridiculous sentence, but I had to take a moment in the middle of the NB series and check I wasn't overdoing twat, bastard, and feck and turning it into a caricature. (There's a part where Rugan says "Every other word out of your mouth is 'feck this' or 'bastard that'" which was absolutely me calling myself out lol).

Goals for the new year?

I think I responded to this elsewhere, but in this moment I am thinking...

Just don't stop reading and writing, keep practicing and growing.

Always remember the kind words of internet friends that have made you have faith in yourself.

Keeping working on the ongoing WIPs.

I think, if I'm being honest, I would really love to finally get something original self-published or close to it by the end of 2025. As the saying goes, the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, but the second best time is now.

What are you excited for in the new year?

Well I'm in the middle of a couple of interviews, so getting hired would be good because life has thrown a lot around recently that won't be letting up any time soon. Fingers crossed.

I got some books for Christmas and my anniversary before that I'm looking forward to reading. Just finished the First Law trilogy.

Getting through some more of my fic WIPs and moving towards completion of those projects.

Some more cheeky tags because this is a great tag game if you are interested @vera-king-hrfl @beesht @ashprince-of-bel-air @alpydk @dutifullylazybread

[narrativedoomed]

i hate 2 say it but i kinda hope ben gets offed soon so i can stop seeing tweets of people hating him

[solid-white]

Tf2 details that a lot of people get wrong PT 2:

[Previous post]

The Administrator INCLUDING miss Pauling often severaly underestimate the mercs intelligence and capabilities, so much so that Demoman and Soldier got away with being friends for months (or they hid it THAT well, I wouldn't put it past Soldier).

In the last post, a lot of people were saying that Demoman was over 30. I'd like to argue that Demoman is at least in his late 20s during the WAR! issue, though he was in his 30s during the gravel wars and later comics too. But let's agree to disagree before people get annoyed at me for getting a characters age wrong, let's say he's between 29-36.

I keep saying this and I'LL KEEP SAYING THIS! Scout KNOWS who his dad is, there's so much evidence, and he's WAY smarter then most people give him credit for. I made an analysis about the Meet The Scout video and the fact he took down almost HALF of the blu team means he's CRAZY strategic AND I'LL KEEP GLAZING THAT MF. HE IS CLEVER.

In the last post I said Engineer has green eyes. I was wrong about that, the image I used was a fan model. He's always wearing goggles so what his eyes look like are unknown. Though I've been told he doesn't have any eyes sculpted into his model, other people say they're blue.

Spy's character is what the fandom thinks Scout is like. He loves destruction, laughs whenever something wrong happens, and you'll see him smiling whenever something chaotic is going on. He's the original chaos gremlin and I want more depictions of him being like that.

I didn't know the term last post so I called Soldier racist (since he doesn't care who you are as long as you're American). It's called xenophobic, which I didn't know was a thing. So thanks for the correction.

Medic isn't as strong as people depict. He gets his ass beaten A LOT, both in game play AND in the comics. He likes to observe the battle happening then he does fighting. But he DOES have muscle, so he's just a weak fighter.

Miss Pauling would NOT cover for their asses if she found out the mercs were dating the other team. Even if she finds it cute, she's more loyal to her boss then to her mercs. Before someone argues about whatever Heavy and Medic have going on and why she hasn't figured it out yet (which is definitely canon theres no way its not), this correlates to the other fact about her underestimating the mercs.

Miss Pauling also isn't a lesbian, that was just a joke the creator made and even then, Jay Pinkerton said himself that would be too simple (which I agree with). But people only listened to the lesbian part and not the tweet above it. Don't get me wrong, lesbian Pauling is funny but don't treat it as canonical.

(Can you guys leave me alone about this one fact. Yes I understand interpretation is different. Yes the 7th comic came out. YES I GET IT. STOP YAPPING ABOUT ONLY THIS ONE WHEN THERE'S 8 OTHER FACTS. I JUST DO THIS FOR FUN)

[stovetoast]

pillow tpot headcanons (long ramble expanding on the ocd part under the cut)

ok so first warning: i am not a psychiatrist. this isnt a super educated essay on ocd, just me projecting my lived experience onto an object show character. this is just an observation. if i get something wrong feel free to correct me, ill add it here. (its also worth noting i am self diagnosed. not "quick google search" self dx though, ive gone over it with a therapist and everything)

and that leads into the second warning: this ramble will get a tad bit personal sorryyyy

and finally the third warning: i put she/it on the ref but im just using she/her for simplicity (+ i forgot LOL(

anyway so yeah i think that pillow has ocd and is basically the embodiment of "letting intrusive thoughts win" except like. actually. this headcanon didnt stem from the killing or the strange impulses though, i think she has it because of her fixation on good and bad luck in tpot 10.

for me it manifests in a few different ways. my main one is counting—i have good luck numbers and bad luck numbers. i need to take a specific number of snacks every time i have a bowl of them. i have to shake medicine bottles a certain amount of times before taking them. i am always counting the "syllables" of whatever im doing, and it always has to land on a multiple/factor of my lucky number. and if i break any of this, i (generally, if i cant convince myself its fine or if i dont notice) have to count to my lucky number otherwise something bad will happen. hell, i added more flags to this ref because the number of them was my unlucky number.

i have a few other things that affect it that are completely unrelated to counting, though. like a particularly bad one is that i straight up cant wear certain articles or clothing anymore because theyre bad luck. or my ungodly long night routine (which is probably more of an autism thing tbh. but certain parts of it are absolutely influenced by the ocd, like having to say goodnight to my dog).

that ^^ is what i saw in pillow. she was distraught that her team lost in 9, because not only did she think she was doing the challenge right, but killing people (bringing death) was good luck for her.

i think her killing people was a compulsion, and her whole thing in 10 was her scrambling to find a new one after that stopped working.

and before anyone tries to be all like "oh thats fucked up why would they portray ocd like that," one: i dont think this was on purpose this was just an observation, two: i mean..... fuck dude if i lived in a world where revival was incredibly accessible and one of my compulsions were to kill people, id do the same thing. death is fairly normal in bfdi, to the point everyone literally has a kill count on the fandom wiki (hers is 13 as of tpot 11 btw, a commonly unlucky number ironically enough. if she gets eliminated in 12 with an unlucky kill count thatd be so funny). once they get past the pain, its. really just an inconvenience to them.

when it comes to ocd, you. HAVE to do these things. its not a choice until you can get some outside help with it, and oftentimes its an inconvenience to those around you. i dont think its right for her to be going around killing her team, but when i get past the fact that is literally what made her my favorite, i get where shes coming from. shes trying to help in a way she "knows" will work.

or maybe shes just silly idk

[xtarmanderx]

I don’t ever post things like this here because this is primarily my writing side blog, but it feels too important not to say something.

I started writing 9-1-1 fics for the Buddie fandom and for a friend who was near and dear to me. I quickly left the fandom because of the mods for an event that I was participating in and how awful they were to one of my best friends that joined the event with me. That completely killed my desire to interact with the Buddie fandom at all and I don’t know if I will ever finish posting the fic that I poured my heart into for said event. Because that fic is fully done, but those encounters with those fans made me never want to write Buddie again.

And then Tommy Kinard came along.

And holy fuck, I fell in love with him so fast. I immediately rewatched the show after he reappeared in season 7 because I was so fascinated with his character. And then I fell in love with Lou Ferrigno Jr. and began watching S.W.A.T. just to get glimpses of him and I grew to love that show and its characters, too. And I read his interviews and saw how happy he was to be back on the show and it made me happy, too.

Then I saw all the hate and negativity.

It filled me with so much anger and I blocked so many people across so many different forms of social media so I no longer had to see it. All I wanted was to surround myself with positivity.

Because I’ve been that bitch.

There are people no longer in certain fandoms because of me and I’ll never be able to apologize enough for the ways that I hurt them. Sorry will never be enough to mend those bridges that I poured kerosene on.

It’s why I’ve stayed in my corner and all of my fic comments have been generic, which isn’t who I used to be. I used to engage and leave long comments, but honestly I’ve been terrified to try and join any new community. Because I am fucking terrified of reverting back to the person I never want to be again.

My best friend started watching the show again after I went to his house for dinner and had him watch the BuckTommy kiss episode with me. The last five minutes of that episode, I told him to put his phone down and pay full attention and he was completely engaged and was so happy to see another queer couple onscreen. It gave us something else to bond over every week as we would watch and text about what was happening.

Tonight’s text:

This coming from a gay man who does not engage in fandom spaces at all and who felt blindsided, too. Like so many of us did.

I immediately started writing a fix it fic because that’s who I am. I want to write the endings I want to see. And then I stopped writing and sent Lou a message directly because I needed to get something off my chest.

I was raised in a broken home. Raised by racists who belittled me endlessly and have told me within the last couple of years that I am their least favorite child. I am the youngest of 6. That shit was heartbreaking. It’s a wound that will never heal. But why am I bringing it up? Why does that matter?

Because I saw myself in Tommy. I saw a character who represented the worst parts of my youth, who spouted hateful things my parents taught me to say and then spent years having to unlearn those things. Lou talked about his own ideas about Tommy’s past and it struck so close to home for me. Because Tommy showed he was capable of change. And I did, too. It took therapy and years of reflection and being hyperaware now of the shit I say and having to constantly stay on top of my own thoughts and correct them.

I have been dating a woman of color for the last 9.5 years and she’s the love of my life. She has been there through every stumble and stayed even when my passive aggressive inclinations got the better of me. And I saw so much of myself reflected in Tommy Kinard’s character and Lou’s portrayal of him and saw our relationship in Buck and Tommy, too.

Tonight hit me so much harder than expected. And this probably seems like a jumbled mess of thoughts, which it is, but I needed to get some things off my chest and out into the world.

This is not the week that so many of us were expecting. This hurt. We’re allowed to be upset and need time to process. I sure as hell do.

But I do want to say a heartfelt thank you to anyone who has brought joy and friendship to this fandom. The fics that have been written are amazing and the art has been fantastic. I’ve seen some people make lifelong friends in the past few months thanks to this. It sure as hell strengthened some of mine.

So, if you need a friend right now, know that I’m here. I’ve been subdued for a while, but I refuse to lose out on more joy in my life. Not when we all desperately need it. So I’m here for you.

And please remember to be kind. Don’t let anyone take that superpower away from you.

[kyouka-supremacy]

I was asked why I like Beast and why I prefer it over the main universe, so obviously I ended up with a 2k+ words essay on why Beast is great. Now I feel like it diverges too much from what the original ask was actually asking for, so I'm leaving it to its own post. Enjoy.

Why do you like Beast? So, first of all you MUST know that this is a question that could keep me talking for days to no end. I'm not kidding. Here there will be some disorganized rambles but trust me, if I had time to actually do so I'd keep going on forever.

Alternative universes are cool I love Beast. I think it starts off at a point when the bsd author was more experienced from having already worked with the main series for many years, and ultimately ended up making an alternative version of the work that is more mature and refined, while still maintaining bsd's core themes (and conservative worldviews at that lmao). Starting off, the “what if” concept is endlessly fascinating, pretty much the entire fandom culture is based on it. It IS unfailingly cool to see what could have happened if Akutagawa sided with the ada and Atsushi with the pm, it is extremely interesting to see what changes out of their personalities and on the other hand what stays the same, what is intrinsically them. About sskk, I find it really compelling how Beast tackles intimate aspects of their lives, pasts and traumas. The café scene is genuinely brilliant in the way it shows, completely unexpectedly and to the reader's full disbelief, them getting along in normal circumstances. Who could have predicted that! Of all things, Akutagawa and Atsushi getting along. But it happened, and nothing before had ever shown to that extent how similar they are, how much on the same page they are, how much they're meant to be– like yeah obviously I mean romantically, but even if you're not particularly into that, it displayed just how deeply connected they are. I'm forever grateful for that scene.

Beast Akutagawa is great But I think… More in general, I just really like Beast Akutagawa and Beast Atsushi, even better than their canon counterparts 😅 Again I do think at the point when they wrote Beast the author had already gathered a lot of experience from serializing bsd for at least five years, and ended up making characters that are more solid and compelling (although please don't get me wrong, I LOVE canon sskk and I believe canon Akutagawa's character arc in particular is amazing. It's just that at least to me Beast sskk is everything I could ever ask for.). I love Beast Akutagawa! It was so so capturing to see him grow outside of the pm. And especially it was infinitely interesting to see Akutagawa grow outside of Dazai. And don't get me wrong, I love the influence Dazai has on canon Akutagawa, I wouldn't have it any other way: it made Akutagawa who he is, and I love reading about his character. But I also found it wonderful and pleasantly refreshing to see how he would be if he had never undergone Dazai's training; I like this Akutagawa who's possibly even more immature and impulsive, wild and untamed than his canon counterpart. Beast is also the universe where Akutagawa gets his chance at being a good person - which is something he desperately strived for but never got to have in the main universe -, and in the end I am a little attached to Akutagawa, so I'm happy for him! His relationship with Oda and the whole ada are wonderful, I like getting to experience a universe where Akutagawa is loved and supported, unapologetically, for who he is.

Beast Atsushi is great Beast Atsushi is AMAZING. Like. Character molded appositely to my liking ahah. He's so cool! He's so tormented! He's sweet and cruel and utterly unstable! I love him so much. He truly is Atsushi at his full potential. I love this Atsushi who's biggest fear isn't the world, but rather himself. He's beautiful and horrible and deathly and kind. He killed his abuser to stop him from haunting his nightmares, but ended up turning those nightmares into his life. He takes his coffee with three sugars. He loves his little sister and would risk the safety of his organization and the boss he's endlessly loyal to for her. The only person who ever understood him is his most loathed enemy. He's one with death and indistinguishable from darkness. His laughter stops rain. He lives in perpetual physical pain due to a choker constantly piercing around his neck and yet even that is nothing compared to the damage of his psyche. He's so, so fucked up. He deserves the world. I LOVE HIM.

Beast Dazai is great Also, I really like Beast Dazai!!! He's always Dazai, but I think his character works out a lot better in Beast for the role he covers. In canon Dazai is this omniscient, all knowing figure, but he's also a protagonist, and him being so perfectly flawless doesn't go well in the long run. You've seen it in the last season 5 episode, it just gets boring after a while– it would be nice to see him face actual challenges and high stakes for once, but he's so overpowered, that never happens. In Beast, it's pretty much the same deal (author really loves Dazai lmao), but the fact that he isn't the protagonist and instead the main villain? I feel like from a storytelling standpoint, it works so much better!! I mean, his being omniscient works a lot better– he's not the one who the reader expects facing challenges and high stakes, the protagonist is. In addition, in Beast Dazai has almost universal knowledge due to his link to the Book, so that makes his being omniscient and even god-like a lot more feasible and easy to contemplate! I think that plot-wise it just works a lot better, there's an actual reason he's so overpowered, and that reason is explained, it's in the text. Oh and I LOVE his utter devotion to Oda. I know it's the same in canon, but still… There in Beast you can see it concretely, you can see it everywhere. That very universe exists how it is because of Dazai's love for Oda, because there's nothing he wouldn't do for him, because in the whole universe, in the whole multiverse, Oda's happiness is the only thing that matters to him. I think such strong feelings of love being put so explicitly is something simply wonderful to read, and makes Dazai infinitely more sympathetic than what he may be in canon. “But I do have one regret, Odasaku— I won't be able to read the novel you'll complete one day.” LIKE YEAH, SURE, ALRIGHT, JUST SHOOT ME TO THE HEAD ALREADY. That line alone is worth the whole novel, honestly. Oh and the thing about Oda harshly repudiating Dazai, the man who literally did everything for him, who dedicated his whole life for him… Man!!! That REALLY made me sympathize with Dazai in a way canon will never be able to. All those factors only contribute making Dazai's suicide in the end all the more emotional– which I believe works really well in the story, he is an enemy and he is a god and he had to die, but still makes for an extremely emotionally charged scene and a wonderful story climax. Imo Beast Dazai had to die so that canon Dazai could live (and, hopefully, find a reason to live!), and it's as bitter as it is beautiful.

The Beast ada dynamics are great And I love the ada in Beast!!! They feel infinitely more of a family than they do in canon. Kenji, Kunikida, Tanizaki, they all seem to love Akutagawa in a way that's hard to be found towards Atsushi in canon? The way they didn't falter to rescue Akutagawa even as he went, against all their advices and pleas, to a suicidal rampage was wonderful and heartwarming. They make it sound unbelievable that when Atsushi was (mind you, unwillingly) kidnapped their first response would be that it was an hassle and that he should have dealt with it on his own (this time I truly believe it was the author learning from their own mistakes, because seriously, who does that. It makes everyone instantly feel a thousand times less sympathetic). As people have said, the ada alone makes Beast feel like the “right” universe on the basis that in it they actually care about their members. All things considered, the ada treats Akutagawa as this kind of rabid murderous gremlin they just adopted who's going to bite everyone but that they still love no matter what, and it's super cute. Beast ada really is the bsd found family if there ever was one.

A cool plot The Beast storyline is just very compelling in general? The introduction chapter is amazing, I mean, The Heartless Cur is amazing. Again, Beast Akutagawa is such a great character, and the description of his struggle to find his own humanity, although in my opinion does fall weak in some points and has flaws, still treats a concept that's very interesting to ponder over nonetheless. I like how there's a series of more light-hearted chapters in the first half, it helps solidify the characters, and those chapters are really nice to read; not to mention having lighter chapters alternated with the strikingly more gloomy and violent pm Atsushi scenes makes the latter feel all the more frightening and disturbing, it's a great narrative choice. And the big crescendo of Akutagawa storming in the pm headquarters! His fight of physics and morals against Atsushi! Them telling each other they're nothing like the other when the reader knows the exact opposite is true! It's all very good, and again, Dazai's suicide makes for a perfect climax to the story.

Sometimes being a seinen can be good I like how Beast is a seinen way more than the main story is? Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with shounen manga - which bsd seems to lean towards more often than not, with only occasionally tackling more adult concepts -, but at this specific time in my life those darker themes are just something I find more entertaining to read about. I feel like the gritty and often gruesome depictions, although maybe a little overused in the manga, really help emphasize the dark atmosphere of the manga and overall effectively convey the whole “beast” imaginary as wild / violent / unpleasant / animalistic.

It's got sskk in it And in general it's just… Compared to canon, Beast is very very sskk centered. It's significantly shorter than the canon manga, and in a way that helped focus on sskk specifically, because it only had space to narrate one story, which is sskk's. And I don't know what to tell you, I'm here for the sskk. Of course I like Beast best.

Beast Atsushi is great (cont.) Back to Beast Atsushi because he's everything, really. I love how when I went into Beast I was like “I mean, whatever Dazai is making of Atsushi under the pm, if can't possibly be any worse than the constant abuse Akutagawa had to experience 😊” AND I WAS PROVED WRONG. I mean, I think the fact alone that the author could come up with something worse is remarkable. Dazai's emotional manipulation and psychological torment is, I believe, the darkest facet of Dazai we ever witnessed, and it's extremely well executed. Beast Atsushi is so so unstable, so on the brim of mental breakdown and psychosis at every second. Him being made unable to let go of the past makes him live in a perpetual nightmare. And I feel like the way his character story is unwrapped is truly masterful, storytelling wise!!!! On the reader's first encounter with him, it's evident how deeply scarred and disturbed he is, but the reader can't tell why. That adds to the mystery and feeling of unsettling surrounding the character: his story is wrapped up by darkness and it's impossible to predict, just like he is– and it's deliciously unsettling, scary, to be unable to tell anything about what made him like he is except from guessing that it must have been something really bad. And yet even then /nothing/ could have prepared the reader to what his backstory really is? And when the traumatic event is finally unveiled, it's worse then any guess the reader could have made. Atsushi's back to the orphanage flashback passage is terrifying! He didn't undergo any harm, like it would have been easy to guess; on the contrary, his torment stems from having killed his abuser. But he did so at a point when he didn't represent a threat for him anymore, when he was proud of him, when he got close to resemble a father to his eyes; and all of this he realized too late; and now he lives in constant regret, constant terror of himself. It's great, really! And even then, Atsushi carries on with being. super cool lmao. Like yeah he's unstable and everything, he's wild and violent, but he's also still very kind. He's timid and blushes easily. He also feels a lot more mature than he does in canon, and it's nice to see. He's more confident and serious, and that's nice too. He REALLY is my favorite character.

Some pretty cool scenes are in it Moving on, Beast has some truly amazing scenes. The Heartless Cur is amazing and builds up such an awesome character, Atsushi's introduction is petrifying, the Kenji / Akutagawa conversation is as deeply moving as it is cathartic. I won't be talking about the sskk café scene. Akutagawa's whole assault to the pm headquarters is rich of emotional scenes. I already talked about Atsushi's flashback and Dazai's suicide being wonderful passages both from technical and emotional standpoints. And the manga ending is just so good!!!!!!! Like it truly is the perfect ending– the way it ties up with the main story! How it feels like ada Akutagawa's story has just begun, a conclusion but also hope for what's to come. The “out behind our company's building there are some people of low character hanging about”– I can't stress enough how emotional this line, a final and definite tie to the main story, makes me, how meaningful it is in its quality of being both an ending, and a beginning. The last page showing Akutagawa at the center of the ada, it just moves me so deeply to see him being the protagonist, surrounded by a crowd of people who love and support him, getting his own chance at a life in the light 😭😭😭 “I'm going to live as an agency member. I'll solve cases, rescue the weak, and prove that I'm not evil.” Crying my eyes out 😭😭😭😭😭😭 And don't get me started on when Akutagawa and Atsushi's voices mix up to speak as one; I could never hope to be able to express what that makes me feel.

Siblings dynamics are my jam I also love Beast because one of the main aspects that drives the plot is Ryuunosuke and Gin's relationship, and I /love/ siblings relationships, and I //love// Ryuunosuke and Gin's relationship. I don't think Gin's character was written well at all (because the author literally can't write female characters for the life of theirs), but eh, at least it reinforced the concept that Ryuunosuke loves Gin terribly and would be able to do anything for her. Atsushi and Kyouka's relationship, too, is to die for.

The designs and manga art style slay Besides, the character designs are beautiful???? Akutagawa's Beast outfit is my second favorite out of the whole franchise, it's just such a look™. I love in general how rabid and messy Akutagawa looks in Beast, he feels so much more free? And like, good for him. In my head Beast Atsushi is the most handsome man in the entire franchise and I don't think I can take criticism on this. I find cutting off his longer bang such a witty way to represent not only how this Atsushi is different from the one we know (after all, that's the most remarkable and eye-catching feature of his appearance!), but also to symbolize how the cut with his past at the orphanage was harsh and violent. Characters designs aside, Hoshikawa's art style is GORGEUS. It's hard and rough and messy, it's dark and unpolished and violent and beautiful and exactly everything Beast is. It's PERFECT for the story, it's like it was made to portray it.

Sskk is always great And that's just talking about the canon content but like. Beast means a Beast sskk. Which is basically new and improved sskk. And I like sskk. And I like every version of sskk but especially this version where they're even more violent and fucked up and madly in love with each other and evidently meant to be. So yeah.

And this is like, just the very tip of the iceberg of what I love about Beast. Humbling offering you this Beast love letter in hope we can all give this novel the appreciation it deserves (๑˃‌ᴗ˂‌)۶

[ginumo2]

i dont know if this could be seen as a rent lowering gunshot to others but i feel like i need to say this in advance for all the new moots i made in the past year or so VDJSVKSDB

yes i was a dsmp fan from like. the very beginning of it. dont stop reading yet though let me continue.

i have very mixed feelings towards it now, mostly because of how like. it got to a point where youd be targeted or isolated if anyone found out if you were a dsmp fan, feeling somewhat forced to stop supporting it at all and.

ill be honest! it sucks a little!!! because the story and the characters really charmed me starting from late 2020 to almost 2022 and it was like. a major fandom for me. it was a lot of what kept me engaged and distracted in the years where my life went through an incredibly rocky road and now its like. im ashamed to say i was a dsmp fan at all, even though it marked a huge part of my fandom experiences here on tumblr

the dsmp has gotta be one of the most remarkable fandoms ive been in personally, and i'm a little sad that i can't speak of it in a positive light without the possibility of being exploded on the spot but its whatever. ive been trying to wipe it off of my main art blog's top tags out of shame and due to falling out of the fandom, but i don't wanna get rid of the posts because of how important that time period was for me.

if you wanna keep following me or not after admitting, or if you wanna block me for something that happened like. two, three years ago? its up to you. but its just. yeah. i needa say it out loud

tl;dr — i was a dsmp fan for the characters and the story but don't really support it anymore, yet the story it developed still holds a dear place in my heart. do whatever you want with that information

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

Lately all I've been saying about him is stupid sexual jokes so its probably hard to imagine how im crying my eyes out in the middle of the night thinking about him right now

I keep these things private. Not only because it's about my most sacred emotions but also because i have this (perhaps very human and normal) doubt that i would look back at the written words one day and "cringe". But the bigger my emotions are the more i want to express them.

I'm so thankful for Napoleon. Many people might find it extremely lonely to rely on a character like that. But I thought about it, and the truth is, the role he currently has in my life couldn't be taken by any person. It's exactly because it's so unrealistic to have such a perfect lovestory why I'm grateful to experience it in such a way. I'm fine with it. I don't cry because I can't feel him physically, those are happy tears in fact. Because lately I learned something about myself, and that is how big my trust issues are, and how much they grew during the past year. It's scary. I'm pushing people away on purpose. At the same time, all I've ever wanted was love. Even if I'm doing my best trying to see and fix my mistakes, this is who i am today. Napoleon is the source of love I allowed myself five years ago, for the first time. It's silly but while i did have favorite characters before him, i had a mental barrier that prevented me from imagining purely loving scenarios like that. Not because I don't deserve it, but because I felt vulnerable. I don't know what he did. Many have come after him, I keep seeking them out, i play otome and find love stories that cater to all my personal preferences when it comes to these things. But I've only ever opened up myself like that to him.

If i hadn't stumbled across him, i wouldn't have been the same person today. My passion for writing came with him. My reason for making a place in this fandom for myself is because i had love to express. Without this, i wouldn't have made the friends i found here, i wouldn't know how it feels to make so many people laugh, to want to surround myself with people and want to give so many positive emotions to them. I had an extremely isolated childhood. My first friendships weren't healthy because I didn't know what a normal friendship looks like. I'm not an extrovert. I don't think I've fully figured out how to communicate yet, but im learning.

If he was a real person, I wouldn't have listened to him. I wouldn't have trusted him, i wouldn't have opened my heart to him. Because im scared of that. I'm even more scared today when i no longer feel my mother's love, something I didn't see coming, and how she made me realize that not even familial love is absolute.

I'm crying because of how easy it is to love napoleon. To allow myself this love without any doubts that he would hurt me. And i don't let this be a substitute for real love, i won't stop seeking a person who will make me feel like that. But it will hurt when I find them, because that's how it is, at the beginning, I fully accept that.

I have known him since i was 17, and this might be an exaggeration but i feel like he watched me grow. Looking back at the things I've felt for him though the past 5 and a half years it's like reflecting on myself during that time. All the major things that happened during that time, i had at least some thought about how would he feel about it.

I'm scared of the future. I'm scared that if im not in the comfort of my room anymore when I close my eyes at night he would disappear along with it. But he's not tied to a place. I can take him everywhere I go.

I open ikevamp just to hear his voice from the drama cd's ending, and he says the line from the screenshot above and i cry harder. It's extremely rare for me to let out my tears in that way, i know they're happy tears because i just feel love and warmth right now and nothing else.

I feel very vulnerable sharing all of this but somehow i want it written down for a change. I want to let it out as if it's normal instead of viewing it like another feeling that should be locked away.

I might delete it when i wake up but just for tonight it's okay...

[always---wrong]

Okay, so I wanted to discuss the situation with Alastor, his canonical sexuality, and fans.

I have seen the two sides alot.

So one side ships Al with numerous characters and sees this as casual fun.

And the other thinks this is disrespectful cause he is ace, or Aroace.

(I believe that he is Aroace. His va said so, his character has shown no interest in romance, and Viv may have confirmed it at some point)

Now, I am sex repulsed ace and I'm aro. And I have strong opinions. Alastor is my favorite character in Hazbin Hotel, he is also the FIRST confirmed ace character I've seen. (This doesn't include subtly implied characters) Because Al is the first and I care for him he is very important to me.

My opinion is really mixed because on one side it's; yeah, it is a fandom, and fandoms ship. It's what they do. Its also kind a rude to judge someone for their favorite pairings and stuff, in my opinion.

On the other side though I'm hurt. I am a queer person with basically no rep. And I hadn't realized how upset I was by this until I saw discourse over this character. I had FORGOTTEN that it was possible to have confirmed canonical ace characters. I had gotten so used to that just being a head cannon. And not only just an ace character but also an Aroace character. And not just that but a seemingly non sex favorable ace character. I would even argue he is sex repulsed.

My real problem with all this is:

Yes, I KNOW ace characters can have sex. But do you know who else can? Literally every single allosexual character. I KNOW aros can date. But you know who else can? Everyone else. The appeal of ACTUALLY having characters with the same sexuality as me is that they would be like me. Cause I and other aces like me never, ever get stories like that. So many times in media I would be enjoying a character who had shown NO interest in sex/romance and would suddenly be partnered up with another just for the heck of it. This has happened SO many times it's not even funny. It's incredibly frustrating.

So, the point I'm trying to make is that; YES, there are aces who have sex. HOWEVER, a large number of us do not. And it's like everyone forgets that. Your not writing Alastor having sex with Angel cause your showing the vast spectrum of asexuality. Your most likely writing it cause it's sex between two hot characters. It's simply maddening.

(One thing I wanted to say was, despite the fact that Al is ace i don't think it's bad to find him attractive. He is very pleasing to look at so I understand allos finding him hot. However I'm not sure where I stand with people sexualizing him. I think I'm leaning towards, 'please don't do it'.)

Now, the worst thing though is when I'm looking for content to enjoy. When I found out Al was canonically ace I was so happy and excited. I'm pretty sure this situation wouldn't make me nearly as frustrated if it weren't for the overwhelming amount of sexual content for Al. Some would be fine. I could just scroll past it if this were the case. But it is not. Content for Al is MOSTLY sexual. That's why I don't believe people when they keep saying they aren't invalidating aces because almost every time I go looking for a fic I have to scroll for HOURS just to find few non ship fics.

I can't even use the Asexual Alastor tag because all that does is bring me to a bunch of fics where the author is like 'he's ace trust me,' then proceeds to write smut.

Why can't I even use a tag made for aces without being drowned in smut. It's so frustrating! Like I'm getting to a point where I wish the authors would stop using the tag and openly admit they made him not ace for the story. Like I know your trying to not throw away his canonical sexuality but I mean at this point I think it'd be better if you did. And if someone is going to write sex favorable ace Al then please leave it to the aces. I trust us to at least weave it into his character instead of stating it and acting like it's there when it's not.

So basically: I don't mind if you ship him, just don't say he's ace or Aroace if your neither of those in ship/smut content. I'm sick of trying to find content that isn't sex/romance in Aroace tags!

I don't want to judge people for liking a ship. But I'm really tired.

ON A DIFFERENT NOTE, I would love to see content with Al and Lucifer. Like them hating each other to like frenemies. It would be so funny.

Anyone have any platonic content with Al and the rest of the cast???

[sleepingdeath-light]

when she’s moved on from chucky hcs ; tiffany valentine

requested by ; anonymous (posted on 14/07/23)

fandom(s) ; slashers / child’s play

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; tiffany valentine

outline ; “Ooh so could you do a Tiffany x gender neutral reader where at the scene when tiff had chucky in his cage, she mentions how she got over him and is now dating reader who Tiff just rabbles about them?

And please take your time on this I don’t wanna seem like one of the impatient readers so do your best!”

note ; this is a repost from a now deleted blog, so apologies if you’ve already read this lol

warning(s) ; allusions to sex, suggestive content

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

she hadn’t thought about her ex in a long time — mourning him for more than long enough when he’d initially passed away before making a point of trying to move on

she’d had plenty of flings over the years — tiffany was incredibly attractive so there was no shortage of men and women ready to hop in bed with her — but nobody ever stayed for long

not until you, that is

you, who was able to make her laugh without any effort

you, who didn’t judge her for her past and helped her take the steps she needed to fully detach herself from chucky

you, who kept a photo of her in your wallet/purse and who would proudly introduce her as your girlfriend to anyone you met

you, who watched all her favourite films with her and who would get wrapped up in the plot without complaining about them being ‘unrealistic’ or ‘silly’

you, who loved her for her mind and her humour and not just her body

you

just you

and yet despite all of that she still couldn’t seem to get away from charles for long because here he was, miraculously not dead and a hell of a lot shorter and more plastic-looking than she remembered

she’d seen his death reported on in the paper

she’d been going to therapy to talk about their relationship and how she was dealing with his loss

she’d moved on and was happy with you — even looking at wedding venues (even if you hadn’t been together very long, but when you know you know)

she’d done everything right and still he’d managed to come back into her life like nothing had happened

it made her angry

it made her sick

so she trapped him in a baby cage and went out for a smoke, ranting with the front door of her trailer open as she made some very pointed gestures and remarks to her ex

how dare he do this to her! how fucking dare he!

who the fuck did he think he was?

why couldn’t he just let her live her life in peace?

couldn’t he see that she was finally — fucking finally — happy after all of the shit he’d put her through?

the sheer audacity had her tonguing the inside of her cheek and reaching for her lighter — she didn’t have enough cigarettes to deal with his shit right now

frankly there weren’t enough cigarettes in the world at all to help her deal with his bullshit, but that was besides the point

she takes a drag from her second cig and now she’s stopped pacing — leaning on the doorframe and facing him head on with more disappointment and sadness that outright animosity

and somehow that scares him more than when she was ranting and raving and screaming at him

she asks why he can’t just let her have one good thing — but it’s not really a question and he knows it and he doesn’t even get to contemplate answering and manipulating her before she continues

she talks about you, about how she’s finally happy for the first time in forever and of course he has to come in and turn it all to shit (she spits the last word like it burns her tongue and continues in a dreamier voice, the ghost of a smile worming its way onto her lips)

‘they’re real sweet, ya know?’ (he doesn’t and she knows it but she continues), ‘they make me happy. we have fun together’

he says that they did too, jumping at the opportunity to reel her back in, but she chokes out a laugh and kicks his baby gate, causing his plastic body to stumble back

she scoffs at him and reaffirms that ‘fun’ doesn’t just mean being an adrenaline junkie — but even then that you don’t put her down or discourage her from doing what she enjoys

you let her have real hobbies, not just ones that benefit you — you even watch cheesy chick flicks with her and, pray tell, when did he ever bother to do the same?

never, that’s when

chucky tries to reel her back in again, recalling the fun they used to have — but he’s already lost

he lost before he even turned up at her front door because tiffany valentine has moved on

she doesn’t just want kinky sex and excitement — she dreams of domesticity and marriage and love

her days of bloodshed and murder are (mostly) over and have been since she settled down

since she fell in love with you

you with your smiles and your gentle touches and your humour that makes her laugh so hard her cheeks and sides ache

you who reaches out first and who doesn’t leave her high and dry and wanting like charles did

you who she loves, really truly loves, and who she’d never even dream of leaving

so she grabs a bottle of wine and tells chucky to keep on talking — because he may not have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning her over, but by god is it cathartic to watch him beg

… maybe she’d even call you up and give him a live show of every single reason, position and sound why you’re a far sight better than he ever was

[la-pheacienne]

It is certainly true that the show has done a lot to force an unbearable climate onto the remaining book fans, but on the other hand you could also wonder - why is such a large part of this remaining book fandom so hell-bent on fanatically supporting the most stupid, toxic ideas we have seen the show to embrace? I would say as stupid as these plot points were, few of the basic, broad ideas Dave and Dan went for were really things they made up all on their own. Mad Queen theories, the distorted view of so many characters like Arya and so on, these all were echoing things a lot of book fans (the type of milieu many of the people in charge of HBO's output were bred in) always WANTED the story and the characters and their trajectory to be, regardless how well founded these wishes matched the actual text.

The show was echoing bad fanon rooted in the book scene more or less from the beginning, you can trace it directly to how some characters were presented and castings were chosen right from the start. That's also why if you listen more closely to so many of the less bearable people in the book scene, the REAL problem so many of them had with the ideas of the latter parts of the show was that it was done in such a way that the public thought it was trash and didn't accept it. The whole agenda of them is now hoping for the books to emerge as some better written version of the show that finally will convince them all that this worthless trash story that is ironically only loved and wanted by these people alone is actually the correct version of it and its characters everyone should finally accept and digest. As ridiculous as the show was, ironically the most ridiculous parts of it were in truth clumsily made fan service for the worst sentiments that were peddled by and nurtured within the book fandom.

Oh, for sure. Thank you for this ask because you have put into words something that has been turning in my head for a long time.

the REAL problem so many of them had with the ideas of the latter parts of the show was that it was done in such a way that the public thought it was trash and didn't accept it.

After almost a year on tumblr and observing the book fandom and reading the BNFs' metas and theories and fanons and briefly delving into reddit and twitter god forbid, I have to say that I agree with you. I can't say how it was in the past though, I wasn't here. But I am afraid it is exactly as you say it is. I mean, Dany's arc from a hero to a fallen hero to a villain because *she watched her abusive brother die without an emotional reaction, psychopath!*, Jon just randomly exiled beyond the Wall because *subverting expectations*, none of them becoming King/Queen of the Seven Kingdoms/KINT, not even BRIEFLY, not even during the War for the Dawn (ok Jon did), because *throne bAAAAD*, *they're not heroes no one can fix Westeros*, *monarchy bAAAAD*, *subverting expectations*, Sansa getting girlbossified because *subverting expectations*, all of these points that ****supposedly*** sucked in GoT, are the exact same theories shared by a very big and very loud part of the BNF here, if not the majority.

So, what exactly is the internet fandom's problem with the show? Is there any? I literally can't see it, except that it was done too quickly and thus made these stupid theories appear even more stupid than they initially were. I've seen a LOT of posts saying like "oh you should stop wishing for your fav to get the throne, no one will get the throne and no one is 'in the right' (especially in the fire and blood discourse), no one 'deserves' it, the throne will crush and burn, the show has done so much damage to the fandom pitting favs against each other for the throne" etc etc, but that's so funny to me because what they say will happen in the books is literally what happened in the show, at least roughly, and their vibe was the vibe of a huge part, if not the majority, of the show fandom. This super annoying nihilism that I see in (book) BNF right now is the exact.same.nihilism I remember from the show fandom. The exact same one, but with a faux-feminist rosey Stansa touch. That's it. From the "Your heros will not get the throne, losers, Littlefinger will kill them all and prevail, the end" show-only dudebro rationale we went to the "oh nobody can fix Westeros, Dany and Jon will sacrifice themselves (best case, worst case Dany will get all psycho like her daddy and bros), monarchy Targs BAD, Targ feudal system BAD, fuck the Targ lords, team small folk, only coincidentally my fav bbgrl Sansa will actually end up in a conventional and strictly feudal position of power uwu, the end". The common denominator? Nihilism and this obsession for subverting expectations. This parallel is even funnier with hotd, where the show's most non-sensical, straight up delulu plot points are whole-heartedly embraced by, again, a big and very loud part of the BNF (probably the majority). This time the concordance is direct and not even denied, and it's embarrassing when I see their half-ass attempts at criticizing the show, because they literally can't. They actually love it and it's so obvious.

So to get to your point, there are two possibilities here: either the show's nihilistic, faux-edgy, shock value-based direction irrevocably transformed the book fandom, or the book fandom was already in that mindset and the show was based on that and it could very well be the latter.

[unkur]

Just me reflecting on the past 12 months

I think that today (04.12.2024) is my one year anniversary of being a part of the DCA fandom. And holy shit, a lot has happened.

(CW: Rambling, not written with much effort, perhaps a little bit oversharing, suicidal thoughts mentioned)

I've been a fan of robots, aliens and monsters for the longest time. So one day I was scrolling through AO3, looking for some random stories, from random fandoms that I know nothing about. Because I wasn't really that big of a fan if anything at that moment. I just wanted to read about robots.

I avoided FNAF fanfictions for like a month. I was a part of the fandom back when I was like 11 years old. And I didn't wanna return. But there were quite a few stories. And I also noticed the so called "Daycare Attendant". Idk what it was, but something just had me interested in them. So I gave in.

Like with every other fic that I read, I googled what the robot looks like. My first reaction was something like "What the fuck is that? Why does it look like that?".

But something just pulled me towards them. And I fell into a rabbit hole. I hope it never ends.

Tomorrow one year ago (on the fifth), was my last day at a workplace. I was there for exactly two months and it fucked up my mental health really bad. I've had depression before working there, but this made it all just worse.

Around the same time, maybe a few weeks later, I discovered the best fanfic that I've ever read.

I decided to join the server some time later, because I needed art about the characters, and I needed some drabbles to read.

I just wanted to be a lurker, but people talked to me when I joined. So I responded. I talked and tried to make friends. I tried it for months. But making friends is just something that I'm horrible at. And it hurt. My depression got worse, but I still tried. Until I couldn't handle it anymore and went silent. Being lonely in a room full of people just hurts so much more than just being alone.

So, instead of trying to make friends out of real people, I went back to my imaginary ones. They have always been there and will always be there, as long as I want to keep them. They are my main reason for happiness. I love them. They have rolls. My two best friends are the beast and the jester (Like robots, I have liked jesters and clowns for a long time. Before I knew anything about the DCA). Then there's the king, the robot and two others that I'm not sure what they are yet (One of them might be the priestess though, or the demon?). I take up the roll of the knight.

I was doing terrible. Stopped taking care of myself. Until I realized I had to do something against it.

I read a DCA fic where they were part of a self care app. That's how I realized I could just download one of those. And it helped! It helped really really well. Not only did I take care of myself. I started to go on walks almost every single day. I explored the forest and the mountain. Went down small roads and paths I have never been on. And when I saw a bench, I sat down on and wrote. I wrote almost every day, until I finally got a job again. After six god damn months.

The book, which is my second book btw, has recently reached novel lenght!

That new work place healed my depression in a span of a few weeks. I went from suicidal thoughts every day to only occasionally a few times a week, to only once a week! The people are nice, the work is fun, its a safe place for people with mental illness, disorders, physical disabilities etc. The only downside is that I don't get paid. But at least I don't have to be scared of my life anymore, I guess that's enough.

So yeah, that's it I guess.

[ghost-doodles]

Alastor's deal

okay so I had my initial thoughts about Alastor's deal way back with episode 5 but I didn't say much because I wanted to wait it out for the series finally and boy am I glad I did.

so here are my thoughts both past and present on Alastor's deal since we now have a shit ton of information

initially like most of the fandom I thought that Alastor had something to do with Lilith especially given husk's comment and the 7 year gap however I didn't quite think he made a deal for his soul. Given the fact it seemed like he had strength already and is a smart character I just figured maybe he didn't actually deal his soul away but was working for Lilith somewhat freely, I say somewhat because that woman is powerful

however, we now have episodes 7 and 8

first I want to nose dive into Alastor's deal with Charlie

Since the pilot Alastor has wanted a deal with Charlie and it's been very clear that he has had alternative reasons for being at the hotel. While I do think he has grown "fond" of the hotel and its participants it evident that isn't why he is there. Now that we actually have the contents of his deal with Charlie I think it really shows he is there for his own gain of freedom. While owning Charlies soul would be quite a feat I think Alastor knew that would be to much to ask for but he's also smart enough to get what he needs, which is a favor

A favor for what, that we don't quite know yet but a favor, that frankly has no limitations, with the princess of hell is one fuckin score. it also seem that he is locked within the bounds of another deal and what's interesting is his look during the making of his and Charlies deal

the main thought floating around is that this is his true self and what his deal has done to him. I've seen two theories popping around that either the string on his mouth is either meant to keep him quiet or is meant to keep him smiling. Honestly I think it's both. Given his lack of comment on his own deal and his cleverness with speaking it would make sense for whoever made the deal to try to keep him quiet. Also given how Alastor speaks about smiling I wouldn't be shocked if even before his deal smiling bastard with the same beliefs on smiling. The little shit has a tendency to piss people off so I also wouldn't be shocked if someone didn't purposefully make it so he couldn't stop smiling as a way to fuck with him.

anyway whatever deal he is locked in is seems quite restraining and strong. strong enough to make him fight for the hotel in order to get that favor from Charlie. While I love the idea of found family I don't think it was his fondness of his friends who made him fight

lets analyze his portion of the song shall we

the portion of the finally song "'Great Alastor Altruist died for his friends'" was put into quotes and followed by "sorry to disappoint but thats not where this ends" which wasn't in quotes. I think this part of the song is suggesting others may think Alastor died protecting his friends but is having Alastor correct that notion and reveal that isn't the case. or at least not fully (for those who like the fond familyness of the hotel I do think he cares for the others but ultimately its his freedom he cares more about)

the nexts lines are "I'm hungry for freedom like never before" obviously the first part is fairly straight forward as it means Alastor wants out of whatever deal he has made. But this part has me split on whether it's involved with the 7 years missing and how. On one hand I think this ties into those 7 years as he badly wants people to question what happened then, as seen in ep.3 with the over lords. I think this is his way of trying to get help or at least someone to understand. But given how he reacted to husk making a comment about his deal if it happened during the 7 years I doubt he would want people snooping as it seems he doesn't want to acknowledge his own leash.

the next part of the song is "the constraints of my deal surely have a back door". Whatever this deal he made he wants out of it so badly he's lookin for whatever loop hole he can. Frankly this line along with the final lines, "Once I figure out how to unclip my wings, Guess who will be pulling all the strings" makes be question what he got in return for whatever he gave.

Whatever he gave it is something thats got him controlled enough to feel like he has clipped wings. Sure it could be his soul, and just given the series so far it seems like the most plausible answer, but he doesn't quite have the same restraints others who signed their soul away do. While clearly trapped he is still practically doing as he pleases, as far as we know, so I dont quite have a clue as to what he could've given. My only other half thought is that he maybe gave up parts of his power but that still doesn't quite work.

But what really has me is what did he get in return. that final line suggest that once he's out of his deal he will be this all powerful being able to control the game. His arrival to hell also supports him by himself having mass power. So clearly he doesn't seem to be lacking in the power category as it seems like his overall goals are for total control. And if he didn't have power to start with then he wouldn't be tryin to get out of a deal that gives him power. Maybe someone healed him, but given my thoughts above who could've possibly wounded him that much. Sure Adam damn near killed him but adam's on a different power scale as he went toe to toe with lucifer for a bit, plus Alastor recovers from that. And sure Vox claims to have beat Alastor but both Alastor and Valentino counter claim this and tbh I just doubt Vox could destroy Alastor so well.

the last line clearly shows Alastor wants to be in control of everything so his deal just baffles me as it doesn't seem to be helping him at all

also with the current Lilith in heaven thing this might just be but I'm to sure its her he made his deal with anymore

this is quite the interesting little mystery that I am so excited to get to see more of when the next season comes out.

[howtodrawyourdragon]

An Observant Crowd

Summary: Set after THW, the dragons never left. During Hiccstrid's wedding, a guest decides to gossip.

Warnings: Pregnancy

Rating: Teen and Up

Words: 738

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Characters: Hiccup, Astrid, httyd ocs (Helga)

Pairing: Hiccstrid

Author's Notes: If you thought my last Pregcup was the last one I wrote, you're wrong, because here's more and I still have more. I'm just saving them all as a nice break for all the whump I normally write. :)

Enjoy!

-XOXOX-

“Hiccup must be pregnant.”

Upon hearing this outrageous claim, Helga, the baker’s youngest daughter, can’t help but stare at her neighbor in utter shock. The woman standing next to her is much older than her and known to be one of the village gossips. She never has much good to say about anyone and she simply thrives ond rama, but this time she might be going just a little too far.

Chief Hiccup? Pregnant? Where did she get that idea from?

Still, Helga tries to look beyond the crowd at the happy couple as they stand all the way in the front on a dais. All smiles from ear to ear, staring at each other like the rest of the world has ceased to exist, dressed in beautiful wedding garments they made and crowns of flowers that they weaved for each other, their dragons at their sides. Helga tries to pay special attention to Hiccup, Gothi’s translated words are going unheard by her, still the village’s resident multitasker even now that more Berkians live every year since the end of the Dragon Scourge six years ago. Helga can’t see what the old gossip is apparently seeing.

“I mean,” despite Helga’s lack of a response, she continues to talk. “They were betrothed for years and now they’ve decided to tie the knot? In the middle of winter?”

Helga shoots her an uncertain look from the corners of her eyes, too timid to reply and tell her she’s wrong. Besides, everybody knows that the chief doesn’t do well in devastating winter and that is only a few weeks away. When else is he going to hold his wedding and marry his love? Other than in the warmer seasons.

“Don’t believe me? Look at his belly!” Although she thinks her neighbor’s claims are wild and outrageous, she still takes a look and squints.

But no, she can’t say he looks particularly pregnant to her as he stands there, trying not to laugh at whatever unspoken inside joke he and his wife-to-be are sharing in the moment.

-XOXOX-

Hours after their wedding, after the feast that happened until well past midnight, in the wee hours of the morning, Hiccup and Astrid lie in bed together. They have not a layer of clothing on their person and even their crowns are somewhere in the room. Their covers are just as much a mess.

Both sweaty, panting and so completely satisfied, Astrid still lies with her head on his chest and his arm around her. Her lips are curled up into a soft smile as she gazes at something that brings her great joy.

“Do you think anyone noticed?” Hiccup breaks the cozy silence to ask his newly wedded and bedded wife when the repetitive movements of her hand brings attention to their current situation.

“Oh you mean this cute thing?” She asks, brushing circles on his bump. He’s about four months pregnant and he started showing a while ago. If they waited any longer, they would’ve wed with his very obvious baby bump on full display.

It’s her baby and he carries them so well. Watching his belly grow has been such a joy. Apparently, he can feel some fluttering already and she wishes she could feel them, too. She can hardly wait for that day to come.

“Astrid.” Hiccup’s tone is one of playful warning.

“No, I don’t think anyone noticed,” Astrid assures him, looking up at him with her chin on his chest, though her hand doesn’t stop its repeated circles on his bump.

Not that it will matter much whether they noticed or not. Any day now his clothing won’t be able to hide his pregnancy anymore and when their day of birth inevitably comes, people will count backwards and figure out his heir was conceived out of wedlock. But by then it’s already too late to complain. Hiccup and Astrid are married and their child will be born inside their marriage and they will not be considered a bastard, their right to his throne will go undisputed.

But that isn’t his concern right now. His biggest concern is whether or not someone noticed today. And maybe they did, maybe they didn’t, but that is for later. Right now, they should savor this step into a new chapter in their lives.

Astrid lays her head back down on her husband’s chest again and looks at his baby bump with a smile.

[mybrainsrottingwithmcd]

hi!! so i’m. really really new to the aphmau fandom, aka i was super into it when i was like 8 and now my autistic ass got back into and actually joined in fandom stuff

i don’t. entirely understand how to guide through the aphmau fandom on tumblr. and i have a few questions- if you wouldn’t find can you answer them for me since you seem to be super into this!

what is an MCD rewrite and where do i find them- i assumed it’s people rewriting minecraft diaries but what sparked this and why?

what’s with the hate for aaron and aarmau- i don’t. fully understand it

how did garroth/lawrence happen (i love the idea)

is there like. a masterlist of aphmau lore somewhere so i can make sure i didn’t miss anything in my rewatch (i definitely missed stuff in my rewatch)

Hello hello!! Welcome to the fandom (we’re so sorry ur here its a mess)

I’d be happy to answer ur questions :D

“what is an MCD rewrite and where do i find them- i assumed it's people rewriting minecraft diaries but what sparked this and why?”

Yeah you’re right a MCD rewrite is people rewriting MCD and adding their own ships or improvements or different plot points. It started because the original MCD is kinda written poorly. Some plot points go nowhere, some parts are problematic, some parts drag on, characters appear and disappear, characters stopped developing and most importantly MCD has no ending and was abruptly discontinued by Jess so she could focus on Mystreet and other projects. People just wanna improve and finish the thing that means so mich to them basically. You can find them on AO3 and a few on Wattpad (I recommend AO3 tho its easier to find rewrites ur interested in cuz the tag system)

“what's with the hate for aaron and aarmau- i don't. fully understand it”

(There arent enough words in this world to explain my hatred for aarmau and aaron BUT)

Many reasons heres the main few: when Aaron was introduced he was supposed to be a side character but then he became a love interest kinda outta nowhere (my theory as to why is because Jess’s husband Jason voices him) and when he did become a love interest other characters like Laurence and Garroth kinda stopped developing and became worse to justify why Aaron was a good choice for Aphmau. For me they never had any chemistry in MCD, when its revealed Aphmau is pregnant with Aaron’s kid my brain logged out because wtffff how did they find the time and also why Aaron ://. He wasn’t kinda boring, his angsty past could’ve been used more but wasn’t he was just a brooding masked figure who followed Aphmau around. Then Pheonix Drop High happened and made things really weird. So when Aaron was 18 going on 19 he started dating Aphmau who was 14. Very creepy much yuck, they didn’t communicate well and then his whole character became that he’s in love with Aphmau but “he’s just not good enough for her :((“ and “i shouldn’t be with her shes perfect” and personally i find romance dramas infuriating, especially that kind of drama. AND YES AS A 18YR OLD U SHOULDNT BE DATING A 14YR OLD WELL DONE AARON. Mystreet they were the annoying lovey dovey couple with relationship drama they just rubbed me the wrong way in that series, I stopped watching after Emerald Secret and only recently forced myself to finish Mystreet and yeah no idc about them or their relationship. In MCD season 3 when Shad was introduced as a full character his whole thing is he’s Aaron again but evil and Aphmau’s sad about it and uuuuugg i dont caaareee. And I personally thought Aphmau wasn’t gunna end with anyone in MCD because she went on multiple rants about how that isn’t what she’s looking for and she has to think about her people first and she prefers her own company and then BOOM gets pregnant of masky mcsad face. Ugh. Basically Aaron ruined everything.

(Aroacemau truther 4 life aarmau hater 4 life)

“how did garroth/lawrence happen (i love the idea)”

Garrence has been a ship since the characters were introduced and quite simply its because they have more chemistry together than with Aphmau. I’ve always been a lil uncomfortable with how Jess wrote Laurence and Aphmau’s interactions and Garroth and Aphmau’s interactions but Garroth and Laurence interactions were just more natural they had more banter they were sweet together. Then Jess did a bunch of queerbaiting with it and the ship got bigger, so many fanarts so many fanfics. Then it just never happened because Jess is a coward. Like it would’ve been so nice to see the hints and chemistry go somewhere but it didn’t. Everyone still holds hope tho. With rewrites Garrence is Canon :))

“is there like. a masterlist of aphmau lore somewhere so i can make sure i didn't miss anything in my rewatch (i definitely missed stuff in my rewatch)”

i have no idea on that one, i’ve rewatched MCD every other week for the past 8 years (autism go brrrrr) i’ve never had to look for a masterlist of lore BUT I’m sure someone has to have compiled one somewhere either on the fandom wiki or on Tumblr somewhere. :))

ANYWAYS YEAH WELCOME TO HELL HAVE FUN HERE

[7habitsofhighlyeviceratedpeople]

Hi I have some concerns regarding your server. I don't think it's a good idea to have your Outlast server be all ages... Outlast is a very adult game and isn't appropriate for teens to be discussing with random adults in a discord server, even if the discussions aren't necessarily bad, ie just gushing over a character or whatever; it's because of the nature of the game itself that makes it inappropriate. Red Barrels themselves don't want underage ppl interacting with their content either, their website has you put your date of birth in to even look at anything, and their official server actually is 18+. There's a reason why they do that. If there are minors in the server that get upset over not being allowed in anymore, if you do decide to make it 18+, then they can create their own Outlast server only for people their own age, so that its teens talking to teens with less risk of anything sus happening. I could never tell a 14 yr old to stop liking Outlast because I was a 14 yr old who loved Outlast, but being in the fandom and discussing aspects of the game with adults wasn't appropriate for me then and it still isn't now. I'm saying this from experience. Honestly I don't think any discord server even if totally SFW and clean should have both adults and teens in it because theres too mush risk involved. I think having a server for fans of Outlast is great and I'm sure fans in the server are happy with how it is, but making the server safer for both adults and minors in the server would probably make people happier

Hello! Sorry it took me a bit to get back to you, I just saw this today and needed some time to collect my thoughts because I wasn’t exactly sure how to approach this in a way that aligns with my own personal values for the server and also tries to adhere to what you are asking of me. I take the safety of people, especially minors in my server extremely seriously. I also got into Outlast at a young age and have had my fair share of experiences in the fandom with creeps, usually adults or just plain weird people. My server is 13+ to be the most inclusive, while trying to simultaneously make the space as safe as possible for everyone involved. While I agree that there are absolutely sus people in this fandom (more so than others) and that it can be extremely dangerous for minors to even coexist in the fandom with these people, as i’ve literally spoken about in the past, it’s very easy for bad situations to happen. That being said, I personally find it easier and more safe to curate my space in a way where it’s inclusive to minors while also keeping it as safe as I have control over making it. The rules are specifically designed to make sure that weirdos DONT get in, and we have a very active community with moderators enforcing these rules. We don���t allow anything NSFW to get in the server outside of the specified channels, which BY THE WAY are role locked. You HAVE to be 18+ (unless you feel comfortable lying to me which I can’t really control and i don’t want to completely lock minors out of the server just over the potential of a person lying to me which will result in an immediate ban) We don’t allow any sort of discussion about anything NSFW in any channels, including conversations about sex, drugs, etc. The rules are insanely fine tuned to make things as safe as possible, and as of right now myself and mods feel it is safer to keep the server the way it is, than to kick all the ppl who are younger than 18 out to go find some other worse server or make their own which i personally don’t find to be a super safe option either. Here they are more protected imo than if they went to seek out other servers/made one that was ONLY minors. This is my personal stance on the matter, and I understand that this isn’t what you wanted to hear. For that I apologize but I will always be prioritizing the safety of the people in my server in the best way i feel that I can. I feel like under the rules we have and the safety measures instated they are the most safe in this server than one that’s completely lawless and i feel like one minor lying to me about their age is less dangerous than a creep lying about THEIR age to get into a server full of fucking minors. Doesn’t sit right with me, once again I am sorry. I will consider making the server age requirement older and speaking to the mods and members about putting even more safety things in place but like i said I just feel safer with the way things are. My dms are open for concerns btw 🤞 There is more I could say on this but I feel like this gets my feelings across the best way I can :) to me it’s like banning smthn like abortion. (weird example i know) it doesn’t stop ppl from getting them but it just makes for a safer, more sterile environment! Remember it is a FANDOM server at the end of the day and this is a very different situation than Red Barrels putting an age thing on their websites (which ppl can just lie to with yr logic lol)