#its happen with my own characters before especially jamie and it feels bad! even when its not intentional ocs are often personal

[thedeafprophet]

gently gently genlttttly speaking. just because a character wears femme clothing/'looks' femmine doesnt not mean they use she/her pronouns

same goes otherwise. usually people have a place where you can check characters pronouns~

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Forever

One Shot: How To Dismantle Bucky Barnes

Intro: Bucky is acting kinda stressed out. Both Sam and Katie thinks they know what the problem is. The only issue is, how to fix it? Easy when you’re a Stark with a very manipulative mind…

Warnings: Bad language. Smut! (NSFW) and no under 18s.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x OFC Jen O’Donahue, Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Rogers (nee Stark)

Ok so this takes place in the SSB universe after the events of Endgame, later on in 2024. You don’t have to have read that series to understand or enjoy this but the characters will make more sense if you have.

This is based on @jtargaryen18​ ‘s master piece “How to Dismantle Steve Rogers” and I thank her WHOLEHEARTEDLY for letting me use her format and idea. And I’m not gonna lie, I had a lot of fun with this one!!

If you are currently reading Stark Spangled Banner as it is being reposted then this contains MAJOR SPOILERS and I recommend you wait until you’ve finished so you don’t spoil anything!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Stark Spangled Forever Masterlist // Main Masterlist

 September 2024

“You’re an idiot…” Sam’s voice carried up the hallway to the kitchen as they entered the Rogers household “A total, moronic idiot…” “Quit it Sam.” Bucky’s voice dripped with annoyance. Katie glanced at Steve who arched an eyebrow at his wife the pair of them wondering why they had given them an access key each…

“I didn’t think it was possible but you actually are as dumb as you look.” Sam snorted.

“One more word out of you and I’m gonna kick your stupid, seagull ass-”

“Err, we can hear you in here!” Steve called loudly, cutting his friend off “And there are young ears about.”

There was some muffled grumbling, followed by what sounded like someone being shoved into the wall before Bucky walked into the kitchen, face dark as thunder. Sam followed behind, grin spreading from cheek to cheek as he rubbed at his chest.

Bucky stopping to gently tickle Rori’s cheek where she sat in the high-chair, her legs flailing as she was still in the bouncer seat, not being big enough or old enough yet to sit up. She gave him a huge smile which melted his heart as he returned it.

“Hey Sweetie!” he grinned, and she waggled her legs and arms excitedly. After a few more soft words to his god-daughter he turned and ruffled Jamie’s hair as Sam offered the 4 year old a hi-five which he eagerly took.

“Damned Buck!” Katie looked at him from where she was plating up food. “You get a hair-cut?”

Bucky flushed slightly and ran his hands through his short crop “Yeah…”

“Looks good.” she smiled and he beamed at her.

“Fancied a change.” he shrugged.

“Hasn’t worked, you’re still a dumbass.” Sam said.

“What’s a dub-mass?” Jamie piped up from his seat at the table. Steve gave an exasperated groan.

“Nothing honey.” Katie said, dropping a plate of stir-fry in front of her son as Steve shot Sam a glare “Uncle Sam is just being silly, don’t worry about it.”

Jamie shrugged, placated by the food and began to tuck in. Katie dodged round Steve making her way to the stove, whilst her husband grabbed the pre-expressed bottle and unfastened their 4 month old daughter from her chair. She grabbed eagerly at his beard as he sat down at the table and began to feed her, smiling softly as she eagerly took the milk, her eyes focussing all the time on his.

“You guys want eats?” Katie asked, looking at the two men. “I made plenty.” It was a stupid question really, as both men nodded eagerly and dropped into the spare seats round the table. Once Steve had finished feeding Aurora and Jamie was cleaned up and in the lounge watching TV, Katie dished out the adults’ food before she handed them a plate each. She gave Rori her rabbit comforter toy to keep her occupied and they all began to tuck in.

No more was said about Bucky’s encounter with the hairstylist until much later, when Jamie was tucked up for the night and the 4 adults were on the veranda round the fire pit, Rori snoozing in her basket which was stood on the stand just inside the kitchen door where Katie and Steve could see her clearly.

“Where’s Emmy?” Sam asked and Katie snorted as Steve shifted slightly.

“She’s on a date.” he grumbled.

“With who?” Bucky asked.

“Parker.” “As in Peter Parker?” Bucky frowned “The Spider Kid?”

Steve nodded.

“Punk.” Bucky snorted.

“Aww he’s a good kid.” Katie said, “Leave him alone.”

“She’s too young.” Steve grumbled and Katie laughed.

“Baby, she’s sevenet this year.”

Steve shrugged. “I don’t care.”

Katie shook her head and watched as Sam and Bucky were bickering again.

“Ok, what is going on?” she frowned “Sam why you giving Buck such a hard time?” Sam grinned “Because he is an idiot. He went on another date with Jennifer last night, and then she asked him back to hers…and he literally burned the poor girl.”

Bucky growled at Sam “I swear to God…” “Burned?” Steve frowned.

“Yeah, get this…he’s walked her home and she asks him in, so he goes in, and then he does a bunk.”

Bucky glared at him “That’s not what happened…”

Katie frowned, she hadn’t spoken to Jennifer that day and was quite surprised, actually, that if something had gone wrong her friend hadn’t called.

“Buck!” Steve sighed, shaking his head. “You promised when you started dating you wouldn’t let this get awkward…”

“Oh Shut up Stevie.” Bucky snarled out his name “Just because you’re all loved up now, let’s not forget how hopeless you used to be around dames. Do you really want me tell the story about the Chorus Girl who tried for 3 months to get a bit of the old Star Spangled D and you were too fucking dumb to realise?”

Steve narrowed his eyes as Katie and Sam looked at each other with glee.

“No.” He glared at Bucky, at the same time his wife and friend nodded.

“Yes,”

“Absolutely.”

“Oh Captain Rogers, I think I have something in my eye!” Bucky said, his voice airy as he imitated a women, batting his eyelashes ridiculously “Oh Captain Rogers, can you zip my skirt up for me, its stuck and I’m scared I’ll rip the material…Oh Captain Rogers, I just got caught in that rain, I’m all wet and my top is sticking to me…” “Fuck off.” Steve said, as Sam and Katie both laughed. Bucky looked at Katie shaking his head. “And you tell me this Punk he made the first move on you?” he shook his head “You must have been really fucking obvious…” “Well, it took him long enough.” Katie grinned as she stood up, dropping her arms round Steve’s neck and pecking his cheek.

“What is this? Pick on Steve night?” Steve pouted as his wife headed over to the bar at the side of the veranda, pulling out 4 more beers.

“Just like every night.” Sam chuckled.  

She gave a beer to Sam and then Steve, both of who thanked her before she made her way over to Bucky was positively glowering. She handed him a beer and he looked up at her mumbling a thanks.

“Buck.” She consoled softly, whilst Steve and Sam were bickering well naturedly “They’re only teasing.”

He sighed “I know, I just…didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“And that’s not because you were with Jen, obviously.” She raised her eyebrows. “Dreams?”

He raised his eyebrows in a confirmative manner.

She sat down next to him. “That have any bearing on why you cut your hair?” He gave a small chuckle “I swear to God you can read minds.”

“No, just people.” She smiled

“I just, well I wanna feel more like me, you know?” he shrugged.

She smiled “Yeah, I get it. You know, if it makes you feel any better Steve had nightmares for years you know. About the War, crashing into the ice.”

He looked at her “Yeah?” “Yeah.” she nodded.

“How did he get them to stop?”

“Honestly?” she smiled “Sleeping with me. Said having me in the bed made him feel safe.” Bucky snorted “Yeah, not sure Steve would go for that somehow.” Katie smacked him gently round the back of the head and he laughed, before his face became serious again. “They’d stopped in Wakanda.” he signed, looking at the label on his bottle. “But since coming back…” “You think we didn’t have them post the Last Stand?” she looked at him. “Jesus Bucky, I kept re-living that moment I thought we were all dead for months and seeing Tony snap over and over again…” She trailed off, taking a deep breath “We’re human at the end of the day, it’s natural and you have horrors in your past that even the most sympathetic of people cannot begin to comprehend.”

He bit his lip and looked down at his lap.

“Look, if you ever wanna talk, about anything without these two being around…” she jerked her thumb at Steve and Sam “You know where I am.”

“Thanks.” he said, flashing her a smile. She patted his knee gently and then stood up, making her way over to where Steve was sat, dropping onto his knee lightly.

Draining his beer Bucky stood up “I’m gonna take off.”

Steve frowned “How come?”

“Tired.” he mumbled “Katie, thanks for dinner.”

“Any time.” she said, making to stand but he waved her away.

“I’ll see myself out.”

Grabbing his jacket he strode over the patio, up the steps and into the house.

There was a pause as the 3 of them watched him go.

“What’s up with him?” Steve asked.

Before Katie could reply, Sam chipped in.

“He’s backed up.”

“What?” Steve frowned.

“He needs to get laid.” Katie replied, shrugging.

Since everyone had returned, she had seen how Bucky was getting more and more uptight, especially around her and Steve. Whenever Steve had shown her a bit of affection she had noticed his friend would avert his eyes or make an excuse to leave the room. And she knew it wasn’t because he was uncomfortable around PDAs or anything like that. No, it was frustration. That his best friend was getting some and he wasn’t. 

Then, one evening last year she’d noticed a subtle change in his frosty, outward demeanour when Jen had come round for dinner.

And thus, Katie Rogers plan to dismantle Bucky Barnes had been born.

Step 1- The Right Bait

Setting it up had been easy.  Katie had instantly spotted the attraction between the pair. She’d seen the chatter at the dinner table, the way Jennifer had tucked her hair behind her ears when Bucky was talking to her, a Double Tuck nonetheless.  So, a few months into the new year, once things had settled down after Steve had taken his 15 year holiday back in the 50s through 70s, Katie had seized the opportunity to send Bucky to Jennifer’s coffee shop- Has-Bean. She knew Monday’s were delivery days for the woman, and 9 times out of 10 Steve went along to help her out with the heavy lifting because Steve Rogers was nothing if not a gentleman, and after seeing her struggle one Monday when they had called in for an early morning coffee, had taken it upon himself to help out. But not that Monday. Oh no, Katie had used her pregnancy to her advantage, claiming she wasn’t feeling too good and she’d been clingy, real clingy, giving Steve no alternative but to stay at home. But rather than leave Jenifer in the lurch, Katie had suggested to Steve that maybe Bucky could help.

So Steve had asked him to go along.

And he had.

And Bucky kept going each Monday from then on. Without fail.  

But there had been no date arranged. So Katie had stepped it up a little bit. On Steve’s birthday, the Rogers’ had hosted a gathering for their friends and family. Casual enough to be relaxed, but in the same breath everyone had used it as an excuse to don a nice outfit. They had stood in the garden watching the fireworks and Bucky had given Jenifer a hesitant kiss on the cheek. The red head had flushed and, emboldened by champagne, asked Bucky for a real kiss. And in the dark of the garden, away from prying eyes (or so he thought, as Katie had seen everything) he’d obliged. And a few days later they’d gone on their first date.

Problem solved, right?

Wrong.

Katie really tried not to be nosey, she really did. But she’d enrolled Brooke, Jen’s daughter and Emmy’s best friend into keeping her up to date on happenings, the teenager being over the moon her mom was finally dating again. But so far Brooke had brought her no news that Bucky had even entered their home, let alone that things were progressing slightly beyond the dating stage despite the fact they were now almost 3 months down the line. 

Katie knew that, despite what Steve had told her about Bucky before the war,  Bucky wasn’t in this for a quick hook-up. Yes he was still the cheeky James Barnes of old, but she knew from the times he had opened up to her that he wasn’t that person to chase a skirt for simple gratification anymore. Whilst under mind control with Hydra, to keep him satisfied they either brought him women or taken him to women. Willing paid women, yes,  but the memories of the quick fucks on dirty mattresses in cells and run down whore houses stuck with him and made him feel sick. Since then there had been one woman, in Bucharest, that he’d sort of had a thing with but that had been cut short when he’d found out she was married. He hadn’t needed that sort of trouble so he had ended it. 

So, with all that in mind, plus the fact Jennifer wasn’t the type for a casual hook up either, it wasn’t totally surprising that things were going slow, but 2 and a bit months of dating was just fucking ridiculous. Even her and Steve had ‘done stuff’ before that! And it wasn’t like the chemistry wasn’t there. Katie had watched the two of them when she saw them together. Bucky eyed Jennifer with a thirst Katie had seen a few times in Steve’s eyes when he was having filthy thoughts. A stare at her ass or tits here, the biting or licking of a lip there all confirmed to her the fact that the Winter Soldier was backed up.

Sam had called it.

And Jennifer wasn’t the problem. When Bucky wasn’t paying attention the red head looked at him like she wanted to climb him like a tree. 

So what exactly did she need to do here?

“You ok?” Steve asked, jerking her from her thoughts with a squeeze to her thigh.

“Yeah, sorry, was just thinking.” she smiled at him, thinking back to the first time her and Steve had made out after a baseball game and a few drinks in a bar…

And then she had a plan. A brilliant plan.

She knew just what to do…

Step 2.  Proper Motivation

Letting out a sigh Jen served the next customer, lost in her own little world. She’d been seeing Bucky now for a few months and was still trying to get her head around that. She was seeing Bucky Barnes. The Winter Soldier, Avenger. But she had quickly realised that behind the legend and the gruff exterior he was just, well, sweet.

She’d first met Bucky one evening at Katie’s house and had enjoyed his company, but it wasn’t until a month or so later when he had turned up at the coffee shop in Steve’s place that she’d really talked to him properly. 

“Well, well, well, you decided to pay me a visit!” Jennifer grinned.

“Yeah,  err…hi!” Bucky smiled at her “Steve mentioned he normally helps on a Monday and seeing as he’s not available I thought I’d offer, you know, with the delivery…”

She beamed “You are a life saver!”

He’d helped her move the boxes and unpack, sharing easy chat with her about her business, New York in general, his time in the 40s with Steve…and by the end of it her cheeks were aching from laughing in a way she hadn’t laughed in years.

“Anyway, I think that we’ve earned a break” she said after they’d finished an hour or so later.  “What can I get you?” she gestured to the menus written in chalk on the wall above the machines.

“What’s good?” he asked, frowning slightly.

“Everything, I make it.” she smirked and he gave a huff of a laugh “But it depends. You got a sweet tooth?”

“I’m not averse to the odd bit of sugar.” he grinned back, and she’d felt her cheeks flush at the fact he was flirting with her.

She let out a soft laugh, smiling. “In that case I recommend the caramel macchiato, and one of my mint choc brownies.” “You’re the expert.” he winked.

“Take a seat, I’ll bring it over.”

Bucky had continued to help out every Monday, without fail, but it wasn’t until New Year’s Eve that anything had happened. After they had shared a soft kiss, he’d asked her on a date, and she’d gleefully accepted. So they’d gone to restaurants, done the whole New York sightseeing thing (which was more for his benefit as it had all changed so much), been to the theatre, seen movies, had lunch…and it had all seemed to be going well. 

Jenifer hadn’t dated since the death of her husband some 15 years ago, so this was a huge step for her. But Bucky had made it easy. He was old fashioned, he liked to open doors for her, let her pick where they ate, pulled out her chair for her, all the things she had seen Steve do for Katie. He always walked her back to the apartment above the shop, but never pressed to come inside, seeming content to kiss her goodnight at the door. It was endearing how shy he seemed. But then, 2 nights ago something had changed.

And it had descended into a cluster fuck.

In the middle of the afternoon she had been forced to cancel their date for the afternoon as the member of staff who was due to cover was ill. But Bucky had surprised her and brought the date to her. Armed with some Thai food he’d shown up at closing time, cheeky smile on his face. He had helped her finish up, meaning she was done in record time and then they’d sat by the counter with their food, the conversation flowing as it always did…until he had stolen the last steamed dumpling.

“Hey, I was gonna eat that!” she pouted.

“Snooze you lose.” he quipped and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“That isn’t very chivalrous, Sergeant…”

His eyes had darkened as he’d bitten off half of the offending item before offering her the other half. She’d taken it, her eyes locking onto his, and then before she could even register what was happening Bucky was kissing the life out of her. His hands had gripped her hips, hers fisted in his hair which was loose, his stubble rubbing her face raw. It was delectable, exciting, and then as his hands had brushed the strip of skin that had been exposed just above her waistline she had shivered at the feel of his touch, one flesh, one metal, but both equally gentle…it was exciting, or so she had thought.

He’d pulled back suddenly. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Huh?” Jennifer’s head was a whirl of lust and she was struggling to understand what had just happened? Why did he just stop?

He ran a hand through his dark hair, cheeks flushing, his eyes were sad as he avoided her gaze.

“That was uncalled for,” he muttered. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” She asked again.

Bucky had simply taken a deep breath, pressed a kiss to her forehead before he stood up and headed towards the door. Was he embarrassed? No, she could see from the look on his face that wasn’t it.

“Buck?” She jumped up to follow him to the door. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong…”

He turned and smiled at her softly. God she loved that smile.

“I’ve got an early morning. We have a meeting with the DOD so I’d better go.”

With that he was gone.

Jennifer made all sorts of excuses for him in her head. Maybe he was tired. But the further into the night she got, the more she began to think she was fooling herself. She wasn’t in Bucky Barnes’ league. Maybe he just wasn’t interested.

Her gloom carried into the next day compounded by the fact he hadn’t called or messaged at all. She had contemplated calling Katie to see if she knew what was going on, but had decided to leave it a day or so to let Bucky get over whatever issue he had.  But after almost 36 hours there was no contact whatsoever and she was getting a little antsy. 

“Hey!”  a familiar voice called and she looked up, smiling, as Katie pushed the buggy containing her goddaughter over to the counter.

“Hi!” she beamed. “What brings you down here?”

“I came to ask a favour.” Katie smiled “Well, sorta. Long story short I need a night off. From being a mom…I was kinda hoping you’d be up for a few drinks.” “Tonight?” Jennifer asked 

“Yeah.” Katie nodded “I thought Brooke might like to stay at ours and they can annoy the shit out of Steve like normal.”

Jennifer ponded the invitation for a moment. It wasn’t like she had any other plans. And if she was honest, a good blow out and a chat might be just the thing.

“Alright.” she nodded “What time?”

“Why don’t you come to mine for 8ish and we’ll get Steve to drop us off?” Katie smiled. “Em and Brooke will be ok with Jamie for a little while, Rori can sleep in the car seat.”

Jennifer nodded,  “Sure…” and then her attention was taken by another customer.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Katie smiled, heading back out of the shop. As soon as she was gone she picked up the phone and called Sam.

“We’re on…” she said simply, before she smirked and headed towards her car.

****

Bucky walked besides Sam, hands shoved in his pockets, fists clenching slightly. He really didn’t want to be out tonight but Sam had insisted. Mind you, it had given him an excuse to avoid going to Steve’s to watch the game. He loved Steve like a brother, he really did, but recently the way the blonde punk fawned over his wife was starting to set his teeth on edge. His hands on her back or hips when he passed her, a soft lingering peck on the lips here and there, the way she sat on his lap and he ran his hand up her thigh…Living with them had been torture towards the end. He was grateful for them putting him up for how long they did, and he knew they hadn’t been doing it on purpose but his ears were sharp… and it seemed like the lucky son-of-a-bitch was getting some every goddamned night, and sometimes in the morning too.  

He was happy for the Punk, he really was but, simply put, he was jealous, even if he hated admitting it. Not because he wanted Katie per-se (although he wasn’t blind-Katie was an attractive woman) but because he craved some form of tender touch and he’d almost gotten some 2 nights ago.

Almost.

When he had first met Jennifer 7 months ago on Steve’s doorstep she’d instantly blown him away. She was stunning, long legs, curves, bright green eyes that sparkled with mischief and a smile that made the world stop.  And then he had gotten to know her during the time he spent helping out at the shop and realised that she was funny, clever, with an outgoing spirit that he loved. He’d wanted to ask her out on a date almost immediately but it wasn’t until July 4th at Steve’s birthday bash when she’d asked him for a proper kiss instead of a peck on the cheek when he had finally plucked up the courage to do so, no longer fearing the rejection.

And so he’d taken her out. Weekly in fact, every week since. And still helped at the coffee shop. Everything about the woman put him at ease. She helped him catch up on a lot of things she had missed, and when he stumbled on things he wasn’t familiar with or didn’t understand she didn’t instantly launch into an explanation unless he asked. For which he was grateful. It made him feel less inadequate that way.  

And she was tactile. And it was nice, Bucky hadn’t known anything but harsh physical contact for longer than he cared to remember. But Jennifer seemed to enjoy toughing him. She’d take his hand, lay her head on his shoulder as they walked, and then that time in the restaurant where she had brushed her ankle against his and then gently touched his knee as she stood up to go to the bathroom…well he wasn’t proud of it but he’d had a raging hard on for the rest of the date.

2 nights ago she’d cancelled on him, with a genuine excuse, so he’d taken the initiative and turned up at the shop with a takeout to help her close up. He’d stolen the last steamed dumpling, and then she’d teased him, calling him Sergeant which was enough to send a spike of desire right through his body and he’d acted before he’d thought about it, gripping her hips and pulling her to him, kissing her hard… and then he’d felt her tremble when his hands had brushed a strip of bare skin just about her jeans. He’d scared the shit out of her. So, he had made his excuses and bailed.

“Frosty?” Sam asked, and Bucky turned to look at him. He’d stopped outside a bar.

“Sorry, miles away.” Bucky shrugged, following him in. And no sooner had he done so he stopped dead.

“Hey, is that Katie and Jen?” Sam asked, and Bucky had to do a double-take honestly because at first, he didn’t recognize her. He had no issue with the way Jen normally dressed around him, figure hugging jeans, feminine tops or dresses and jackets that showed off her curves, and the way that fiery red hair normally fell around her face and shoulders…to him she was stunning as she was but there, right now?

Jesus fucking Christ. 

Her hair was twisted back in some form of bun, showing off her neck and shoulders which were bare thanks to the strapless, knee-length pale blue dress she was wearing, which had a slit up the right side through which he could see a perfect flash of alabaster thigh. Her lips were stained a bright red, like the women of his time, her legs bare, high heels on her feet. 

Next to her, Katie was sat wearing a floating gold dress, chatting to another one of the men, laughing as she turned to Jennifer and said something, causing her to laugh. Her face lit up with a smile as she replied and then turned to the man on her right who gently put his hand on the base of her back.

What. The. Fuck?

Bucky’s fists clenched as he watched Jennifer lean closer to say something to him, and the man nodded, laughing, before he waved to the bar tender, hand still on his girl. Before he could march over there and demand to know what was going on, Jennifer stood up and said something before she headed out to the bathroom. 

Before Bucky could stop himself, he marched after her.

**** Jen had started the night off feeling a little bit uncomfortable. She’d shown up to Katie’s dressed in a pair of tight, black cropped trousers and a white low cut vest top but there’d been an accident involving a glass of red wine when Katie had tripped on something and managed to throw it all down her. Her best friend had been so apologetic and mortified, but it wasn’t a complete disaster. Katie had a wardrobe that would make most celebrities jealous and in no time she had convinced Jen to try on the dress she was now wearing. It was a bit much for a Friday night out in Brooklyn bars but Katie was dressed up too so she supposed it was nice to make an effort every once in a while. Plus, she felt good in it. Which was nice considering how shit she’d felt the other day when Bucky had bailed on her.

A quick restyle of her hair to compliment the cut of her dress and they were on their way, Steve dropping them at their bar of choice and telling them to have a good time. They’d walked into the bar, ordered a bottle of wine and sat on the stools, where Jen had opened her heart and told Katie everything that had happened with Bucky. Katie had listened, sympathetically and then added her own pearls of wisdom suggesting that Bucky was a lot more shy than people expected. Their conversation had been cut short when two men had joined them, Katie jumping up to hug them both before introducing them to Jennifer as 2 of her old colleagues from SHIELD. The two men had been nice, included her in the conversation, and Jennifer had found herself actually enjoying their company. The dark haired one, a man called Ben,or Lawson as Katie called him, was interesting and had been entertaining her with a few tales of Katie at SHIELD, but then he’d started getting a bit touchy feely. And, despite the clear lack of communication from Bucky she still considered herself his. So she’d excused herself and gone to the bathroom. 

After re-doing her make-up, she was seriously considering heading back to the apartment and pulling on a pair of comfy pyjamas and settling with a nice bottle of rioja in front of the TV. Wondering if Katie would actually care, she snapped her purse shut, pulled open the door and did a double take as she found Bucky right outside it. He was leaning against the wall, arms folded across his chest and she didn’t miss the way his gaze flew up and down her body as she stepped closer.  

“Buck, hi.” she greeted him “What are you doing here?”

“I was out for a drink with Sam, wasn’t expecting to see you. And from what I just saw at the bar I’d say it was clear you weren’t expecting me to either.” Oh shit. He was mad. 

Jen swallowed hard “That wasn’t…that wasn’t what it looked like.”

“No?”

“No.” she shook her head “I don’t even know that guy, he’s a friend of Katie’s from work, well her old work, SHIELD…” Bucky didn’t say anything, he merely held her gaze. She knew how it looked. Worse she was dressed as she was, making her feel a little bit uneasy as she never wore outfits like this normally. She glanced at Bucky, he was dressed in a simple black button down and black jeans, looking damned good, but his entire body language was off. The shy, gently Bucky Barnes she knew had been replaced by someone else. He was harsh, angry, even.

And then she felt herself getting mad.

This was the man that had darted out of her apartment the other night, and hadn’t even called her. And now he was here, getting all pissy because some guy had shown her a bit of attention?

Fuck that.

In that split moment Bucky saw her whole body language change, from one of a kid being caught with their hand in the cookie jar to a parent who was about to deliver a very stern telling off. And he wasn’t wrong.

“Actually, I don’t have to explain myself to you.” she folded her arms, mimicking his stance. “You ran out on me 2 nights ago. You haven’t called, anything…” Bucky swallowed, and momentarily he felt a little sideswiped, but he fast recovered his composure.

“So you just what? Go on a date with someone else?”

“This isn’t a date you dickhead!” she practically snarled “I’ve never me the guy before, but for the record, it’s kinda nice to be wanted you know what I mean? Now if you’ll excuse me…”

Wait? Is that what she thought? That he didn’t want her? Fuck, no, that wasn’t right.

He reached out and grabbed her arm gently to stop her leaving and she turned to face him. Once more his eyes skated up and down her body and before he could stop himself he had pulled her to him, so she was flush against his body.

“You’re supposed to be my girl.” he whispered, looking into her eyes.

“Am I?” she swallowed, her voice shy, meek almost. And fuck, that turned him on even more.

“Yeah…”

“Then I am, fucking hell Bucky…” she groaned, her lips meeting his in a fierce kiss. He backed her up against the wall, his thigh planted firmly between hers as much as it could thanks to the tight dress she was wearing, the kiss intensifying until the pair of them jumped apart as 2 other people came into the corridor to use the bathroom, smirking as they passed the couple.

Bucky looked at her, shaking his head “The other night…” he began “I know I scared you…” Jennifer frowned “No you didn’t.” 

“You were shaking.” Bucky said “There’s no need to pretend what…” “Bucky Barnes I’m a grown ass woman.” she said sternly “I think I know what I was feeling…”

His eyes widened, so if she hadn’t been shaking in fear…then…oh. 

Oh.

“And I know what I want…” she smirked, grabbing the shirt just underneath his collar and spinning them around. Backing up, she dragged him into the ladies and pushed him into a cubicle, locking it behind her. As soon as she turned to face him, Bucky had her pinned against the door, his hands skirting up her dress, gently teasing the outside of her thighs as she kissed him, hard, hands running through his hair.

“For the record…”she pulled back, tugging on the short locks a the top of his head “I’m liking this…”

A low growl rumbled in his throat as he pushed her skirt up over her hips, planting his thigh in between hers. She let out a moan as he pushed up into her spot, the harsh denim grinding on her spot. She was soaked already, and when his fingers hooked into the top of the very skimpy lacy underwear she was wearing, her clit throbbed from the slight pressure as he tore the garment easily in half, tossing it to the floor.

“Fuck…” Jennifer mumbled as his lips caught the pulse point on her neck, her head falling back against the cubicle door as his fingers slid into her folds, one circling her clit. 

“This what you want?” he asked, his breath was low.

“God, yes…” she muttered as his fingers picked up the pace. He inserted on inside, and her head fell onto his shoulder as he curled it forward against her spot. It was such a fucking turn on to see her trembling at his touch, trembling he now understood in a good way. With his other hand he pulled down the top of her dress, freeing her breasts and he gave a groan as he realised she wasn’t wearing a bra. He gently rolled one nipple in between his teeth, his other hand still fucking her gently and she let out a gasp.. 

“Bucky for God’s Sake just fuck me already…” 

He grinned at her, removing his hand.

“Yes Ma’am…” he said, as her hands flew to the buckle on his belt before opened his jeans, her fingers pushing them and his boxers down, allowing his cock to spring loose.

“You got any…” he began and she shook her head.

“No need, I got that covered…and I’m clean so as long as you are…” she looked at him and he nodded, as he gently hooked his hands under her knees and lifted her so her legs were round his waist. Once more he claimed her mouth with a heated kiss, swallowing the groan she gave as he pushed into her.  

Jesus…her heat almost paralysed him, but after a second or two to let them both adjust he began to move, slowly at first, gently finding a rhythm that suited them both.

“I’m going to make you feel so good, Sweetheart.” he said and she groaned again as he gently rutted up into her, his mouth finding her breasts again. The noises she was making were turning him on even more as he picked up his pace slightly, and the more he gave the more she wanted. 

Soon the bathroom was filled with the sinful sound of skin on skin, moans and groans, and the rattling of the cubicle door as Bucky fucked into her again and again. Her hands were in his hair, up his back, under his shirt, gently tracing the scars on his shoulder from behind but he didn’t give a fuck, in fact, in a twisted way he liked the feel of her soft touch over the raised skin. He continued to slam into her again and again, lips kissing down her jawline, neck, across her collar bone and down to her breasts again, and she gave a loud squeak. 

“God I wanted you so fucking much…”She gasped, bringing his head up to kiss hers again, her hands on his cheeks.

“Feeling’s mutual doll” he moaned into her mouth, the noise of the door behind them was rattling even louder. 

Jen felt her core tightened as a wave of pleasure swelled within her. Her shoes were somewhere on the floor as her heels dug into that ass she had admired for so long, nails scratching slightly at his skin as her hands slid under his skirt again. The door behind her continued to squeak, grind, and rattle.

“I’m…”

“You going to come for me?” Bucky asked as he kissed down her neck, biting at her collar bone. She nodded with a groan, and her head banged back against the door.

“Shit, Bucky…” and then she clamped around him hard as her release took her. Her entire body shook as the white hot tendrils coursed around her from head to toe, the entire world spinning. Bucky gave a strangled groan that bubbled from the depths of this chest, and he clutched her to him, tightly, hips stuttering as he shuddered with the utter intensity of it all.

A very loud groan and then a scream erupted from Jenifer as the door collapsed behind them, and sent the pair of them falling. In a flash Bucky wrapped himself around her, pivoting so that his back hit the floor first and Jenifer fell against his chest.

There was a moment’s pause before she began to laugh, and Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle as well as she looked at him and he helped her to her feet.

“Erm…so we broke the door.” She said between her laughter as she adjusted her dress, smoothing back her hair as Bucky did up his pants, tucking his shirt back in. 

He ran his hand over her hip, up to her neck and pulled her back in for a softer kiss and when he pulled away he was amazed at how relaxed and less tired and stressed he felt. 

Who’d have thought it? All he needed was a good fuck.

But now as he looked at the woman in front of him he realised fucking wasn’t enough. He wanted to take her home and lavish affection on every inch of her body.  

“Was that okay?” Jennifer asked, looking at him “I know it’s not exactly how a first time together should be but…” “Are you kidding?” Bucky chuckled, pulling her into his arms. “That was incredible but you’re right. I’d really like to take you home and do it properly, a little more caring maybe…as soon as I can.”

“My apartment’s free…” she whispered, as he kissed her again before he pulled back and grinned.

“What are we waiting for?” he asked, and with a last glance down at the broken door, she took his hand and led him back into the corridor. 

As they walked across the bar it didn’t escape Bucky’s notice that Sam was sat with the two men Jenifer had explained were friend’s of Katie’s, and that his best friend’s wife was nowhere to be seen.

And it all clicked into place. He realised he had been well and truly played. ‘Mrs Rogers, you cheeky little minx…’

3. Closing Analysis

“And he’s gone!” Sam smirked, watching Bucky stalk across the busy bar area after Jennifer “I gotta hand it to you…it would seem that Steve isn’t the only Rogers with a plan.”

“Yeah, I’m intrigued…” Evans said, draping a hand over her shoulder, “How did you know it would work?”

“Remember that time, years ago, when Steve and I had been on the baseball, and you commented on how Rumlow had been eye-fucking me all night?” she turned to her former sniper partner. He nodded “Well let’s just say it sparked something in Captain America that night.”

Evans and Lawson both chuckled. 

“And on that note…” Katie said, draining her glass as her phone flashed with a message from her husband “My ride home is here.”

“Seems Jen isn’t the only one with a super soldier waiting to ravish her…” Lawson quipped. 

Katie smirked “That and I have no intention of being here when they come out and realise we set the whole thing up.” “We?” Sam asked. “You were complicit…” she said, draining her glass. She turned to give Evans and Lawson a hug.

“Good to see you boys, stop by the house soon, come say hi.”

“Best get your chef on Nova.” Evans grinned, “You owe us.” “Oh admit it.” she smirked “You enjoyed the thrill of being on a Covert Op again.” “Think it’s Tin Man that’s gonna be enjoying that particular thrill…” Sam quipped, making her snort. 

“If they make it that far…” she smirked, pulling on her jacket. “Night boys.”

She made her way outside and over to the Audi, climbing into the passenger seat.

“Hey baby, you have a nice time?” Steve asked as she leaned over to give him a peck.

She grinned “Yeah, although not as nice as Bucky and Jen it would seem.” “What did you do?” he asked, looking at her suspiciously. 

“Nothing…just gave them a friendly shove…” she said, pausing as she felt her phone vibrate in her bag. It was a text. from Bucky 

“Expect a bill for a toilet cubicle door…”

She gave a loud laugh and showed it to Steve who groaned, shaking his head.

“Oh it’s not like we never fucked in a bathroom before.” she laughed, and he was about to reply when he stopped and grinned, nodding out of the windscreen. Katie followed his gaze as Jen and Bucky came out of the bar, hand in hand, and straight to a waiting cab. As Bucky opened the door to let Jenifer in he turned slowly to his right, locked eyes with Katie and raised his metal hand, leaving a single digit extended in her direction. The middle one to be exact before he grinned climbed into the car.

“You know, you don’t need to look so smug about it…” Steve said, a smile playing on his face as he eyed his wife who sat back in her seat. She gave him a shrug, smirking and he chuckled as he pulled the car away from the kerb. 

Ok, so she’d clearly underestimated the ex-assassin, maybe he had twigged it had been a set up. But that didn’t matter. Her plan had worked.

Katie Rogers had just successfully dismantled Bucky Barnes. 

[tundrainafrica]

Why the recent chapters of Attack on Titan are still good

This is probably an unpopular opinion but I just need to rant because I saw a tumblr answer here where someone actually compared the current Attack on Titan Chapters to GAME OF THRONES SEASON 8? REALLY. 

As a victim of Game of Thrones season 8, I am so offended for Attack on Titan and for Isayama who is still doing a good job on delivering the story.

And a lot of my timeline really is a bubble of complaints with every new chapter released. They’re shitting on everyone dying and they’re shitting on the whole Eren killing everyone thing and so many female characters sidelined unfairly and Armin being tongued.

The Game of Thrones ending was an insult to its fans. It was lazy writing. Yams latest chapters were far GOT lazy and not a lot of what he is building up to here in the final chapters is unfounded or as illogical as Tyrion Lannister deciding that hiding people in a crypt is a good idea or Daenyrys deciding to burn down King’s Landing or Jamie Lannister going back to Circe and getting killed by rocks. 

To be honest, the only thing I still have issues with is Hange dying in such a fashion (which hasn’t even been completely confirmed yet because the Beast Titan thing can still happen.)

But anyway, I’m gonna go through the complaints I see everyone on my timeline make every time a new chapter comes out and why they were pretty logical developments to the story as painful as they were.

Eren being Crazy and Everyone dying in the Rumbling

I just recently finished a rewatch of Season 3 Attack on Titan and the rumbling has been set up since then. There was one quote where “If the walls are disturbed, Karl Fritz threatens to release the titans inside the walls and flatten the world” and this was mentioned so early into the show as Season 3. And what happened at the start of the show? Colossal titan smashes walls, Eren’s mother dies, Eren goes crazy, 9 years later he starts the rumbling. Very Logical. Not at all unfounded. In fact, hinting at the rumbling so early into the story is pretty genius story writing. Making Eren responsible for the rumbling, masterful writing and masterful progression too.

Armin being Tongued

I brought this up in a previous post already but tongueing Armin like that when they wanted to kidnap him was the most logical choice. You know what’s lazy writing? Or a plothole? Not tongueing Armin because that brings up the question of “Why didn’t Armin just bite his tongue to turn into the colossal titan?” 

Levi being Useless and Injured

Okay, We understand Levi was supposed to be built up to some big character. But Yo, he survived an explosion less than a week ago. Of course he wouldn’t be able to fight. And of course he’d start coughing blood and almost dying in the middle of the battle. Wouldn’t it be more of a plothole if Levi just started going beyblade against them? Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but the fact that Yams still put a spotlight on the gravity of Levi’s injury felt far better for me than if Yams just set it aside and made Levi fight like normal. Because Levi shouldn’t be fighting like normal? Especially after being bed ridden the past 7 chapters.

 “I feel like he’s just being dragged around.” The manga isn’t over, Yams will let something play out. I have no idea what it is but Yams has plans for Levi and I’m pretty sure the plans will still be better than what happened to Jon Snow. 

Hange being dead

I’m probably just being a Beast Titan Theory Simp now but...  The manga isn’t over, Yams will let something play out. If Hange’s death isn’t further explained, this will definitely be a flaw in my book. 

Hisu being Pregnant

As painful as this was, it had been set up since before. Eren mentioned it multiple times that he did not want to tell anyone about the royal blood because he knew they were going to turn Historia into a baby mill which was exactly what happened. Eren Kruger said the same thing when they turned Dina Fritz into a titan.  The “unfair tratment” of Historia’s character is just the mastery of a Chekhov’s gun being shot and a beloved character being the victim.

Falco and Gabi being Overpowered?

Mikasa and Eren were pretty overpowered too in the first season as kids. This is probably an Anime only flaw but Eren should not have been able to beat Annie or Reiner with the limited training he had yet we still accept that as fact because yo why not. 

 And Falco and Gabi swooping in to take over a lot for them is setting up to be a bigger thing. Yams will not introduce kids as important characters if he did not have plans for them. Falco being the first flying titan has been set up since chapter 90 and really, what would be the point of it if he didn’t save their ass at least once right. 

The Final Battle is Being Dragged on for Too Long

So, I’m assuming you want a Game of Thrones-esque final battle where Gabi just swoops in and stabs him in the back and he dissipates into pieces like the NIght King which only lasts two episodes? And they decide to go back for the rest of the chapters and play Quidditch? The pacing is not at all bad. So far, I don’t see Isayama doing some asspull with what’s been happening. The ending will not be the happiest but we kinda should have expected that when the story started with a massacre in Shiganshina.

Why are people so surprised and offended that Yams is hurting their favorite characters? Why is what happens to our favorite characters the measure of whether or not something is trash. While I’m at it, why is how Isayama treats his characters a measure of whether or not Isayama is “messed up” or “trash” too? (Like seriously, can we put personal insults at the author out of this?)

The writing is flawed but it’s far from a mess. It’s still very tight. The progression is still very logical.  They literally introduced the show to us with a massacre in Shiganshina district and people have been dying left and right since the show started. Why are people so bothered about the blood and the gore in the finale and where their favorite characters are. Fine, we’re all attached. I’m bothered too. But why is what’s happening to the characters, a measure of whether a chapter is good or not? In fact, shouldn’t the final battle be that gory anyway? It would have just been a crazy disappointment if they tuned it down right?

It’s painful to watch our characters go through this but to be honest, at this rate, I honestly admire Isayama for having the courage to kill off and destroy characters like this left and right. In fact, the fact that Isayama is so willing to do these to his characters knowing they are fan favorites is a true testament to someone who writes for themselves more than anything and are completely faithful to their story. This is something which should actually be admired. 

The characters were not at all Game of Thrones levels of butchered. The characters developed like expected and they were set up in very ingenious ways. They all just became a victim to the circumstances laid out before them which have been set up a hundred chapters ago already.

So are the people who are complaining angry about the circumstances? But the current circumstances don’t necessarily mean the chapters and the quality of the story are trash right? 

So are they latest chapters trash? No they’re not. IN FACT THEY ARE SO FAR FROM GAME OF THRONES ENDING LEVEL TRASH. 

Are their circumstances trash? Yes. Their circumstances are trash. 

Is Isayama being lazy? To a degree.

 But mind you, it has not been confirmed yet how many more chapters there will be. Isayama admitted that he hadn’t even completely storyboarded the ending. The director of the anime and the editor still have no idea when Yams plans on ending it.

I have my own qualms and complaints about the ending too and where this is going but so far, I’m seeing a net positive quality wise. A lot of the complaints IMO are unfounded. 

The claim that AOT is reaching GOT levels of trash? Unfounded IMO

The claims that Isayama is fucked up, messed up an asshole over how he chooses to end his story. Completely unfounded. Why the hell are we attacking the creator over what and how he chooses to end his story? 

I know a lot of people probably won’t agree with me on this but genuinely I have been enjoying the latest chapters even with my favorite characters getting hurt left and right. The quality of the story is still good, Isayama still manages to tie up a lot of the loose ends. He still manages to keep a lot of his characters in character. 

Like all of you though, I’m praying the ending won’t disappoint. 

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 15

post directory

em: viola teas i am like. incapable of sleeping in

em: i woke up 10:30 on the dot and i thought. what the fuck

em: 10:30 is especially offensive bc it means the mcdonald’s breakfast is done

obsetress: brain immediately said viola up and about doing all the chores vacuuming with no sympathy for her constantly sleeping in snoring girlfriend dani clayton

obsetress: but nah i'm sorry for you that sucks

em: inspiring deranged viola behaviour is

em: the greatest gift of all

obsetress: god so true when u think about it

obsetress: not that viola vacuums, she def has cleaners but

obsetress: actually no

obsetress: she has cleaners but she's prob not satisfied and gets out her expensive vacuum she has no idea how to use and is clattering n making such a fuss

obsetress: and poor dani

em: she’s up and about rearranging things, she’s causing a ruckus,

obsetress: dani's like "you have just as bad insomnia as me and you're just... getting up? that early?"

obsetress: viola shrugs "i don't need that much sleep"

obsetress: "you do, though"

obsetress: she shrugs and disappears into the kitchen

obsetress: insomniac gf and insomniac gf

em: insomnia gfs

em: viola runs on like

em: supernatural element carrying over: viola is a little too good at running on no sleep and no one knows if she ages

obsetress: YEAH

em: i love a sorta, grounded real life show w like one or two unexplained ambiguously supernatural things that no one blinks at

obsetress: i was gonna be like

obsetress: i wonder what dani and viola do when theyre up not sleeping at night and then i was like

obsetress: Well,

obsetress: no they do that but they also do the most random borderline unhinged shit like

obsetress: dani tries new baking recipes and they sit on the countertop in their pjs or underwear or nothing and eat scones at three am

em: go for night drives

em: night drives aren’t even unhinged but they’re nice

em: but they don’t listen to music they listen to fucken podcasts

obsetress: that fuckin lorde song

[em note: it's supercut]

obsetress: they go to the roof and dani lays her head in viola's lap and stares at the stars while viola reads to her in french

obsetress: ugh i put it on oh god why did i put it on

[em note: it's still supercut]

obsetress: in my head.........

obsetress: i do everything right............

obsetress: when you call............

obsetress: i'll forgive and not fight.............

obsetress: ours are the moments.........i play in the dark OH MY GOD VI'S INSOMNIA AFTER DANI LEAVES AND SHES ALONE

em: ur a MONSTER

obsetress: i need to lay on the floor and put this song on repeat

obsetress: anyway um

obsetress: another thought from when i was thinking about the vacuum like

obsetress: viola has a degree of learned helplessness that all rich people have but she's not an idiot like the rest of them yknow and i think like

obsetress: she had to do a lot when she and perdita were kids!

obsetress: after her mom died

em: hannah......

obsetress: and then after her dad died before she married arthur and like

obsetress: then being a single mom (viola lloyd single mom i'm drooling) even w all the help she can afford

obsetress: she has a chip on her shoulder and Does Things For Herself but also just

obsetress: sometimes it happens! there's never enough time and never enough help!

obsetress: and she loves isabel so much like

obsetress: viola making isabel her lunches

obsetress: oh god

em: making her little lunches at like 2am bc it’s been a busy day and she’s tired and she’s sore and she’s sad but the one thing viola will never skip is like

em: making sure isabel gets her lunches

em: hey what is wrong with us

obsetress: GOD YEAH

obsetress: EXACTLY

obsetress: HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS THINKING ABOUT HER MAKING THEM AT TWO AM UGH

obsetress: anyway um yeah viola making isabel her lunches at two am

obsetress: i know that i wrote jamie leaving flora notes on her napkins but like

[em note: read 'and she taught me a lesson alright']

obsetress: i just think it's something a mom who really loves her kid and wants them to feel safe and okay would do so i want to say vi does it for isabel too!!! and what of it they're different universes it's fine

em: ur just building the hannah obsetress cinematic universe

em: building up some Themes and Motifs

obsetress: themes motifs and symbols

obsetress: anyway viola packing isabels lunches she writes little notes and puts on lipstick n kisses them

obsetress: so isabel can get a kiss from her mom

em: im going to kill u w my bare hands

obsetress: cut to vi in the bathroom wiping it off later à la jennifer check

em: im GONNA

obsetress: sometimes when vi has to go out of town for business or w/e she leaves a stack of napkins with arthur to put in isabel's lunch so she can still get a kiss from her mom even when she's gone

em: thats so extra??

em: its so viola

obsetress: exactly

obsetress: she definitely has a fear of isabel favoring arthur over her (abandonment issues etc etc)

obsetress: gestures at canon

—-

em: dani 'its casual' taylor

obsetress: leave the typo

obsetress: dont you dare change it

em: i need u to know that i DO fuck but

em: hgfngjkyhGJBJKFHD FUCK

em: ruined my own joke

obsetress: in the most spectacular way

em: dani 'i need you to know i DO fuck but im accepting offers' clayton

obsetress: she takes care to drop that like

obsetress: it's just casual SHE'S not anything serious. i'm not dating HER or anything

obsetress: jamie's like dani i know you're gay you literally stare at my lips every time i talk

em: dani getting off the phone and dramatically rolling her eyes like 'ex girlfriends, am i right? whats up with these women i-' and jamies like love i get it

obsetress: jamie raising her eyebrows "how many ex girlfriends do you have"

obsetress: dani's like "well, just the one, but"

em: but i COULD have more. if i wanted to. bc i am looking to date more women

em: jamies like ok cool

obsetress: jamie, a little too casually: oh? any, uh. prospects?

em: danis like (patented nervous dani lip bite) maybe but

em: jamies like drat

em: jamies like darn

em: and then she gets home and shes like

em: wait

obsetress: jamie calling dani back "when you said maybe"

obsetress: and dani immediately is like yEAH?

em: jamies like do you think you could ever be interested in me and danis like umm. yeah.

em: jamie hangs up like ok cool

em: long beat

obsetress: oh my GOD

em: REDIALS

---

obsetress: ok last thing i was gonna say

obsetress: i meant to say this earlier and got distracted a hundred times over

obsetress: but um imagine dani helping isabel with her english homework

obsetress: vi helping isabel with her math homework

em: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

em: SOFT

obsetress: well,

em: oh no

obsetress: isabel needing help w her english homework post dani and vi's trying to help and vi's smart n all but

em: get HELP

---

em: dani 'hooking up w my ex is actually a v girlboss of me' is SO funny to me

em: when they get together danis like, oh but havent we all- and jamies like nooo i have very good boundaries

em: except for the perdi vi psychosexual power play ig

obsetress: moment of weakness

obsetress: who wouldn't want to hook up w their hot boss

—

obsetress: when dani goes up to london whatever weekend like friday night to get her closure dinner with vi

obsetress: boom haircut and therapy reveal

em: 3 day bender u say

obsetress: all of a sudden it's sunday night and

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: they spend

obsetress: all fucking weekend

obsetress: in vi's bed

em: sighs dreamily

obsetress: dani playing with her hair

obsetress: "this is nice"

obsetress: "i'm gonna miss your bun though"

obsetress: vi's brain is short circuiting at "i'm gonna miss"

em: later danis like look. jamie. what would you have done? and jamie chokes on her beer and splutters 'not fuck my ex for 3 days straight?!'

obsetress: dani "well you've never fucked v–– oh wait"

obsetress: "you really can't blame me, jamie, you KNOW" jamie: (grumbles)its different... dani: well i mean i guess, technically, you didnt,

obsetress: unrelated in some bad fight at the end vi is like "you can't go isabel needs a–– you're like her–––" and dani's like "a what? say it" and viola's too stubborn and proud and hurt to say it

em: just perpetually bouncing back to the worlds angstiest break up

obsetress: i don't know WHY

obsetress: as someone who HATES ANGST

obsetress: i am so DRAWN to these two

em: its ummmm weirdly cathartic??

em: the whole exes au is based on a joke about them being friends and exes. we are v firm in like. viola and dani reconcile!

em: idk i love a catharsis moment! i love it when a character claws their way to happiness. or even begrudgingly goes to therapy

em: viola can go through a little hell as a treat

obsetress: turns out the only one who could fix her in the end

obsetress: was the one who said it's not my job to fix you

em: dani transformative power of (platonic) love

obsetress: "Platonic"

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Rainy day gyroids

Rainy days are the perfect excuse to stay inside with a cup of warm tea and a good show to watch while letting the day pass on by. How fitting is it that the theme of this gyroid event happens to be rainy days?

Joining us on this rainy day adventure are Robert and Mace, two former members of Jamie's entourage back when she lived on Peace Coast Island. Robert Azarias is a writer and actor, best known for his work in the TV show Faerie Town, which just ended earlier this year. Mace Callaghan is an actor whose career kicked off thanks to people like Jamie and his cousin Amelia, who's also an actor as well as a producer. Both have been super busy as they're on a new show that's set to premiere in the fall so they're at the camp for a short vacation after pretty much working nonstop for the past several weeks.

The new show is called Mount Barley, RFD - which stands for rural free delivery - and it's about a journalist who moves back to his old hometown to take care of his aging father and reconnects with his old friends. Mace plays the main character, Alex, an ambitious creative who has a tendency to get carried away with his ideas. Robert's the co-executive producer/showrunner and has a recurring role as Jerry, a friend and colleague of Alex's who sometimes gets dragged into everyone else's problems due to bad timing. Other characters include Alex's dad Emmett, the wise father figure everyone looks up to, Blossom the pharmacist who's a neighbor to Alex, Leia, a childhood friend and work colleague, and Deedee, the hairstylist who serves as Alex's source for gossip.

Having insider information is kinda a blessing and a curse. Well, what I mean by curse is that I can't say too much about something because of non-disclosure stuff, which means I have to be careful not to let anything slip. Especially with a lot of show creators, writers, and actors being active on social media, it's kinda easy to accidentally reveal something that wasn't supposed to publicly come out yet. It's not usually anything super confidential but some companies are more particular about what people say more than others. While being able to interact with crew members has its perks, it also has its drawbacks - then again, that's social media in general.

Robert's previous show, Faerie Town, ended last year after five seasons. A good number of the entourage members were in that show like April Wingate, Melody Muto, Linus Cooper, and Cecelia Argent. Robert was a writer on the show as well as a recurring character who became more prominent from season three onwards.

Ending the show was one of those cases where they were told ahead of time that they weren't going to get renewed. By then, the overall story they wanted to tell was coming to a conclusion so it made sense to start wrapping things up. Being an ensemble show, it kinda suffered from a large cast - I'm overall satisfied with the way the main characters were handled but at the same time I felt that it could've been balanced better. And I'll admit, the writing during the last two seasons were weak, but not to the point where the show went downhill.

The way I see it, there's a difference between a show going downhill and a show where the writing isn't as top notch. Downhill is bad, as in this has a negative impact on how I feel about the show in general. An example of downhill is Popular Besties, which, looking back wasn't entirely good, but I enjoyed it as a kid. It was one of those shows which the quality dipped a lot - and knowing the issues going on behind the scenes, it makes a lot of sense as to why - and it gets to the point where you're watching a new episode out of obligation or dropping it all together.

Hogan Family Values is an example of a show that has fallen to weak writing. Like Faerie Town, it has a big cast, though it struggles more in terms of having too many characters to handle. It's ending after three seasons, which has ten episodes left. Season three started out pretty strong, but since then it has been a mixed bag. We all kinda suspected that it was ending as some of the episodes kinda had that vibe and that was later confirmed by the creator just recently.

I think the biggest problem with this season is that the pacing's kinda rushed and I feel like the show has kinda written itself into a corner by trying to wrap up various plotlines while introducing a bunch of new characters/plot points at the same time. On one hand the show could use another season just to pad things out a bit, but at the same time it makes sense why they would end it there.

The show's still good though, it's just season three doesn't have the same spark as the first two did. I mean, the stronger episodes of this season are some of the best in the show overall while the weaker ones aren't entirely terrible, just mediocre, or at worst, somewhat boring. And despite my reservations at the moment, I have faith in the crew that the ending will be satisfying, even if rushed.

A show with a satisfying ending is Star's Universe, which has become one of my top favorite shows of all time. I think, if it wasn't for the network, the show could've easily run for another season to even out the pacing towards the end. It also suffered from the uncertainty of being renewed, which then led to a movie. While working on the movie, the network decided to order an additional season at the last minute to fully wrap things up. There's still a lot the show can touch on but it's all extra stuff - and while it could've focused more on the supporting cast, I can understand why they couldn't because it's essentially not their story.

As for the overall story the show wanted to tell, they not only succeeded, but exceeded my expectations. The conclusion's satisfying in a way that it's open enough to revisit but if that's the end, then I'm happy with that as well.

I think Star's Universe has ruined me in terms of judging series endings. It still kinda doesn't feel real that the show literally just ended less than a year ago. The writing has also remained consistently strong for the most part and it's just a brilliant show. Now I feel like binging on a bunch of episodes. I guess you can say it's one of my comfort shows.

While collecting gyroids, we got to talking about Mount Barley, RFD a bit as well as catch up on life in general. Robert's got an interesting backstory that Hollywood has been wanting to make into a movie for years. He was known as the Etienne Falls Baby as he was born en route on the ill fated train that crashed in the desert. His father died in the accident while his mother passed away shortly after, leaving Robert in the care of three friends who helped bring him into the world. Only one of them survived and he, while carrying Robert, made a dangerous trek through the desert to find help. After the tragic ordeal, he adopted Robert, becoming somewhat known as a hero.

Mace is the nephew of actor Gary Stewart, who's well known on stage and screen, as well as his daughters Amelia and Lesley. It was Amelia who helped Mace pursue his dream of acting by helping him stand up to his father, who was against it. At the time he was going through a lot and as a result of everything, he finally had enough. It wasn't easy going against his father's wishes, but he had to or else he'd be stuck working at the bank being his father's successor.

He's still hoping for a reconciliation, though it seems unlikely at the moment. Since moving to the island, Mace rarely spoke to his father, who has pretty much disowned him. Back home he heard that his father's not too crazy about Mace having his own show as that'll make him more well known. At least his cousins and uncle have always been supportive of him - he had always been closer to them, especially after his mom passed.

It's been raining all day, though it started out as a light drizzle at first. I don't mind the rain too much - it adds to the rainy day theme! I love how gray and cloudy the sky gets - there's just something about rain that's calming and cozy. Also, it was the perfect excuse to break out my new umbrella - and it was worth every leaf ticket because not only it looks pretty, it kept me dry. Aside from the mud, collecting gyroids in the rain was a lot of fun!

When it started pouring we headed back to the cabin to begin crafting some stuff. I was surprised that we managed to collect a lot of gyroids today, then again, I think the rain might've helped some. We also managed to do some fishing and bug catching as well, which the guys had never done before. Robert's a fast learner when it comes to fishing - and a lucky one too as he managed to catch two king salmons!

Aside from collecting gyroids, we didn't get to be able to do too much sightseeing today. Once the weather clears up, I'm thinking of setting up a picnic in the meadow and a short hike along the trail. Then, depending on Gulliver's schedule, I was hoping we can catch a ride with him and explore an island or two. Robert mentioned that he always wanted to try out sailing so I want him to experience that. As for Mace, he says he's content with anything the camp has in store and he enjoys running errands for the campers.

With the rain pouring, we all were in the mood for some tea so I put on the kettle as soon as we got inside. While waiting for the tea we set up the TV to watch some shows while helping Daisy Jane package orders from her shop. Nothing like cozying up with a nice hot cup of tea on a cloudy rainy day!

[mcustorm]

Thoughts on Love, Victor Season 1

PSA: If you think that you might be gay, don’t get a girl emotionally invested! Please!

Ya know, at first when I thought about what I was going to write about this show, I thought that I should split the writings into the first half/last half of the show. Now I’m thinking “screw it”, if only because if I was going to go that route I should have stopped, parsed through my feelings about the first 5 episodes, and written those thoughts before proceeding with the next half. That, of course, did not happen, so to prevent the back half of the season’s events from miring the first half, I’ll just write about the whole shebang. There’s probably a joke about that word somewhere, I’ll try not to make it.

Anyways, let’s start by saying that on the whole, I really liked this show. It was not as good as Sex Education season 1, yet in my opinion waaaay better than HSMTMTS season 1. Most of the characters were likable and felt developed enough, it moved at a nice pace, and you can tell that a lot of heart went into this. Perhaps because we all watched this in a day, it felt like a 5 hour movie rather than a 10 episode tv show.

Additionally, I of course like the Latinx representation. The intersectionality of the Latinx community and the LGBTQ+ community has been presented on at least five TV shows to my knowledge: Ugly Betty, One Day at a Time, Diary of a Future President, The Baker and the Beauty, and now Love, Victor. Let’s keep it up!

As for the premise of the show itself, I *love* that this show acknowledges that Simon’s journey, at least at his house, was leaps and bounds easier than many other people’s. Victor’s parents are more conservative and religious, and they don’t have their shit together, so this is not the best environment to drop that bombshell in (which is why it was so incredible when Victor decides to do it anyway). Simon and Victor’s DM’s being a framing device for the show was a great way to tie the universe together.

The hook of Love, Simon was that you know all those cheesy and cliche rom-coms that straight people have gotten since the dawn of time? Well LGBT people deserve those stories too! Love, Victor is sort of presented with that same thesis in mind, which is why watching these episodes felt like different things I’ve seen before all over. The whole season ironically feels like Alex Strangelove: The TV Show, right down to the often cringy relationship with the girl, the openly gay love interest who conflicts our protagonist, and the goofball friend who chases after a girl who is seemingly out of his league.

Mia’s character felt a lot like Laila from All-American, being a black girl who is ordained as the hottest girl at school (which I feel like is a title only given in fictional schools), who also has a missing mother and problems with her rich dad. Pilar, on the other hand, feels like Casey from Atypical, in that she is openly rebellious in large part because of her mother’s infidelity.

Victor’s story this season sure was something to watch. The biggest question for me was, just how much sympathy should he be given? The world is inherently unfair to Victor. None of us should have to go through the agony and anxiety that so often comes with being in the closet and coming out. But for Victor to have visited those problems on Mia, who is going through things herself? That makes him pretty morally gray.

But he was still finding himself! But he loves Mia, just not like that! I get it, which is why he should have cut things off as soon as he got back from New York, no he should have cut things off when she asked him if there was “anything else” in her bedroom, no he should have cut things off when he literally felt like he and Benji were the only two people in the room at the concert, no he really shouldn’t have done this to begin with.

The line between Victor finding himself and him deceiving Mia is the conflict of the show, but the moment for me when I was like “Damn, Victor” was after he intentionally derailed Mia’s shebang-ing that she planned, he found the gall to lie to Benji and plan a seduction! That is why the season finale was so glorious. Because yes, while the world is unfair to Victor, he’s being unfair to the people around him.

I have made it a point not to read other people’s opinions extensively so as not to bias my own thoughts, but is Felix everybody else’s favorite? Felix’s character and arc was great. He was a supportive friend yet still felt like he had a story and stakes of his own, something which some TV shows get right (Sex Ed) and some TV shows get various shades of wrong (Jamie Johnson, Andi Mack). I like that he knew his worth and cut things off with Lake, and I like that she realized that her happiness with him should take priority over what others think of her.

I was soooo sympathetic to Mia. Her world is being turned upside down at home. Clearly, she has not even processed her mother being out of her life, and now her Dad is “replacing” her Mom while the baby is also “replacing” her! In Mia’s eyes, at least. Mia just needs to know that she is loved and appreciated. Which she *thought* of all people she’d be able to get from her boyfriend. Shucks.

As for the rest of Victor’s family, I also thought the parents’ storyline was pretty interesting yet unfortunate. Armando just can’t come around to trusting Isabel, which I actually kind of understand. Isabel, meanwhile, is being prevented from doing the thing she loves to do, which sucks especially because she’s in a radically new environment. Adrian is of course great, protect him at all costs. Pilar’s seemingly permanent mode of “angsty” is completely justified, as her friends back in TX are moving on just fine without her, she’s having trouble opening up and fitting in, and her family is WYLIN.

Some things that didn’t go so well for me was Andrew’s character, who feels like he’s just there to obstruct at any given moment. Y'all knew that when Victor and Benji were having that convo in the bathroom, someone was in the stall and someone was Andrew. Also, my guy, how are you not even somewhat aware that you are a total douchecanoe? I liked Benji, but Venji didn’t quite work for me because of all of the cheatation that it took to get there. Benji was pissed and ready to stay away from Victor permanently after the [attempted seduction], but once his relationship was over he was completely fine with putting his tongue down Mia’s boyfriend’s throat.

Overall, I really enjoyed this show. Some of these teen dramas I’m admittedly only watching for the LGBT content, so to have that be at the forefront of a show for once was amazing. The conflict was realistic if frustrating, and to me most of the characters seemed fully realized. Thankfully, the show didn’t even feel too “spin-offy” even with Nick Robinson being all over it.

In any given multi-season serialized show, the trajectory of the show goes one of two ways: the first season puts your feet on the ground of the series, and then later seasons go above and beyond with the storytelling (The Office, Breaking Bad, Bojack Horseman, Jamie Johnson) OR the first season is pretty great TV, and the following seasons fail to live up to its glory (The Good Place, Dear White People, really most every Netflix show ever). Which category Love, Victor ends up in is something to look forward to. Where do we go from here now that Victor is taking his first steps out of the closet?

Stray thoughts from the episodes:

The soundtrack on the whole, was not my cup of tea. I still liked a couple of songs, so that means somebody out there liked more of them.

I completely forgot Natasha Rothwell was in Love, Simon. More of her! More of Ali Wong! More of Beth Littleford! They were all great.

So Roger got his ass beat by Armando, and he still wants to get back with her?? Roger is reckless, man.

Speaking of reckless, Victor’s closet skills completely fell apart towards the end there. Assume somebody’s always watching!

Lake’s mother is a trip.

Good for the family for standing up to the grandparents.

Oh my god, Simon and Bram. Those guys are mine, and now they’re growing up and moving to the Big Gay City. They’ve come a long way.

Speaking of the Big Gay City, we were in Atlanta for a season and got *0* acknowledgement of the vibrant gay community there. More things to look forward to.

Was anybody else singing Selena along with Isabel? That is my favorite Selena song!

By rule of Felix being a male and Pilar being a female close in age, I immediately thought they were going to be a thing. The writers didn’t pull that thread too much...

That moment at the end there when we all thought Victor was going to hold off on his announcement only for him to go “fuck it” and say it anyways? And then he got to exhale? Perfect. chef’s kiss

What with June being Pride month, the SCOTUS ruling a couple of days ago, this entire show premiering today, and Delliot things going down in less than 24 hours, this will likely be the gayest week of the year. I suggest we all enjoy it.

Stay Peachy!

[malicerewatchesdoctorwho]

The Evil of the Daleks - Episode Two (New Version)

Written by – David Whitaker Director – Derek Martinus Producer – Innes Lloyd

Episode Two

("If we cannot find Jamie, the Daleks will take pleasure in killing everyone in sight.  And their greatest pleasure will be in killing me." - The Doctor to Waterfield about what the Daleks will do if they don't get what they want.)

Likes

- The Doctor telling Jamie not to knock into anything and Jamie immediately knocking into something after he said it.

- Waterfield.  I just feel so bad for him being stuck doing things he doesn't want to for Daleks who have his daughter captive...poor man.

- Pfff, Perry's name being Keith and that being the name on the business card.  Ooops there, Doctor. 

- Jamie just grabbing onto Perry so he doesn't go running off and them all walking into the dark mystery of a door opening all on its own. 

- Jamie cautiously touching the teleporter while the Doctor just climbs all over it.  Yes, Jamie, be cautious of new things. 

- Perry is so confused, poor chap.  I like him in his little part in this episode. 

- The Doctor having to think for a second when he hears Molly say the Master.  After thinking it was the Master, he thought of Waterfield, only to find out, no it's Maxtible.  So many Master's :P

- Victoria rebelling against Daleks the only way she can.  By starving herself and feeding the birds, even though that is against what she is told to do.  Yes, be a rebel.

- Maxtible using the fire of a bunsen burner to light his cigar.  Hah, nice.

- The Daleks using Jamie for their experiment for the human factor and not the Doctor.  The Daleks are smarter than humans it seems, who keep mistaking he Doctor for a human XD

Dislikes

- I don't like Maxtible. Pretty sure I didn't like him before either.  That man is terrifying.

- Victoria, I feel your pain.  The Daleks are cruel and torture you with sound.

- What is with the constant remarks of Victoria looking just like her mother?  What, can she not be her own person because she does? 

- Jamie being in so little of the episode and after getting up and finding out where he is immediately getting clobbered on the head by...a thief? 

- What the heck did Molly do to the thief guy?  Just...what? I like her.  She's upbeat and flirty with Jamie and its great.  She's the good kind of flirt.  Unlike Sam in the last story.

- Ummm...what was the point of introducing Ruth?  Apart from being the daughter of Theodore, there's nothing there but her being a Maxtible. I will just think of her as the spare.

- Wait...how do the Daleks have a picture of Jamie?  Is it from the Doctor's future?  Because I am pretty sure the last the Daleks were in the show, Ben and Polly were with them, but Jamie wasn't.  Huh.  Time travel.

Awesome

- Bird song for the Doctor and Jamie to wake up to.  That's nice.

- Victoria's dress.

- Maxtible's lab. Nice set.

Shitty

- You know how i said in the first episode I loved the music?  Well, the music may be awesome, but that high pitched biiiiing noise at the start during the Dalek scene hurt my ears so damn much...also it sounded more like the Doctor Who theme song than it does the Dalek music.

- The noise of the weight machine Victoria is forced into by Daleks, holy shit that is ear-splitting.

- Speaking of that weight machine.  The future is calling, they want it for reality tv shows.  

In Conclusion

I really enjoyed this episode, but for a few things.  Quite a few which are just nitpicking.  So much fun. You find out a bit of the Dalek plans. And that Jamie is to be their human experimental lab rat so is needed alive.  

 Ruth seemed like a waste of a character, but apart from that, evryone has their place.  I say I wish Jamie was in it more, but we will get plenty of him in the rest of the story. 

This one is so much better with context, especially that first episode. 

Next episode and the rest of this story will prove interesting to me and then season 4 is finished *gasp!* Yep, it's happening.  After a very, very long time.

Body count - 1. Kennedy.  He got killed by the Dalek at the start, as he didn't answer who he was (and it's a Dalek. They kill people.)

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 10/16/20: SYNCHRONIC, FRENCH EXIT, TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7, LOVE AND MONSTERS, HONEST THIEF, THE KID DETECTIVE and More!

After the last couple weeks, I really need a break, which is why I’m writing most of this in transit to Columbus, Ohio to see my mother, sister and all (or some) of the friends that I made during my sabbatical to the city seven years ago for cancer treatment.

On, and look... Variety wrote about the movie theater chains and NATO lobbying Governor Cuomo to reopen movie theaters, showing that there’s been no proof of any cases leading back to movie theaters. (And more from The Hollywood Reporter…) New York leads and the world follows? More like ED leads and the world follows. Been saying this shit for months now and putting up with all sorts of needless abuse for it.

This week’s “Featured Flick” is actually a movie coming to theaters on October 23, but since I’m not sure I’m writing a column next week, I’m gonna review it this week! Cool?  The movie is SYNCHRONIC (Well Go USA), and it’s the follow-up to Aaron Moorehead and Justin Benson’s amazing sci-fi film The Endless from a few years back. This ome stars Anthony Mackie and Jamie Dornan as parademics in New Orleans who have been coming across a series of bodies that have died in gruesome ways, all connected by a designer drug they were all taking.

I’ll just say right from the start that I loved almost everything about this movie from the amazing performances by Mackie and Dornan to the entire look and tone of the movie, which shows the duo taking huge steps forward as filmmakers, particularly Benson as a screenwriter. Unfortunately, I’m not sure what I can say about the movie and its plot without spoiling other’s enjoyment. I will say that it involves a designer drug and time travel and Mackie’s character has something odd about his brain that makes him better suited to figure out what is happening to the victims than others might be. Also, Dornan’s character Dennis has family issues, particularly with his daughter Brianna (Ally Ioannides), who disappears mysteriously, but it’s so nice seeing Katie Aselton as Dennis’ wife, as well as in another movie out this week.

I’ll also say that people who watch this movie will inevitably make comparisons to the work of Alex Garland and maybe even the more-versed ones might see a little of David Cronenberg’s Videodrome in the film’s trippy nature. The thing is that the movie is super-smart, and it’s obvious that Moorehead and Benson must have done a lot of research to make every aspect of it feel authentic. It’s just amazing what this duo can do with a small fraction of the money that Christopher Nolan had to make Tenet, and yet, they can create a complex and unique premise that’s actually easy to understand. Things like the camerawork, the music and sound design all add to the amazing tone and the mood that the duo have created.

I also think it’s Mackie’s best role and performance in many years, maybe even going back to The Hurt Locker, so as a long-time fan, I’m glad he connected with Moorehead/Benson to show that he’s more than capable of leading a movie like this.

Again, Synchronic will be in movie theaters and drive-ins NEXT Friday, October 23, but I want to give you an advance heads up, because Synchronic is likely to be the most original sci-fi or genre film you see this year. If you can’t get to the drive-in and don’t feel comfortable going to a movie theater, then I’m sure it will be on digital soon enough, but you definitely shouldn’t miss it!

Next up is Aaron Sorkin’s THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO SEVEN, streaming on Netflix starting Friday and the movie I was most looking forward to seeing this week. I was such a huge fan of Brett Morgen’s Chicago 10 documentary, which opened Sundance in 2007, especially with how he recreated the court trials using animation and a talented roster of voice actors including Hank Azaria, Mark Ruffalo and Geoffrey Wright. Sorkin has just as an impressive list of actors for his version, including Mark Rylance, Eddie Redmayne, Sacha Baron Cohen, Frank Langella, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and many more.

If you don’t know about the protests outside the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago – you see, back in those days, the Democrats were the bad guys… how times have changed!! Those protests led to a number of arrests but a few years later, the federal government charged a number of individuals with inciting the riot. The accused include Black Panther leader Bobby Seale, played by Yahya Abdul-Mateen II from Aquaman and Watchmen, Abbie Hoffman (Cohen), FBI agent Tom Hayden (Eddie Redmayne), Jerry Rubin (Jeremy Strong), David Dellinger (John Carroll Lynch) and two more. The six white guys are defended by Mark Rylance’s William Kunstler, who faces the tough Judge Hoffman (Langella) who is not putting up with any guff from these young revolutionaries.

All of the characters are quickly introduced with a quick-cut opening montage with actual newsreel footage, but then we’re quickly moved to a meeting to the Attorney General (Keaton) with the trial’s prosecutor (Gordon-Levitt). From there, we’re right into the trial about 16 minutes into the movie, although Sorkin frequently cuts back to the actual day of the Chicago protest to recreate what happened as testimony is given. Probably the part that will have the most impact and resonance is the way Seale was mistreated compared to the others, getting so riled up at the judge that the judge orders him chained and gagged. The trial would end up taking place for almost 7 months even though the results were eventually overturned.

This really is perfect material for Sorkin, and maybe if I hadn’t seen Chicago 10 first, I would have been a lot more fascinated by the trial sequences, though Morgen did an equally great job working from the transcripts. Basically, what happened happened. Where Sorkin’s screenplay and film excels is showing what’s going on outside the courtroom, whether it’s the recreations or just conversations taking place between the plaintiffs.  As might be expected from Sorkin, the screenplay is great with lots of fast talking, making for a movie that moves at a kinetic pace for its two hours.

If I had to pick a few of the best performances, I’d probably focus on Cohen’s Abbie Hoffman, which is more than just an accent, he and Strong’s Rubin bantering back and forth like a seasoned Vaudeville act; Rylance’s Kunstler is spot-on, and Langella is just great as the crusty judge, the film’s only true antagonist. I also appreciated John Carroll Lynch and in fact, all the performances, although I felt that with so many characters, Sorkin wasn’t able to give Bobby Seale the time his story truly needed. Still, I would be shocked if this isn’t considered a SAG Ensemble frontrunner.

Ultimately, The Trial of the Chicago 7 is a fine recreation of a certain moment in history that still feels relevant and timely fifty years later, even if it’s so heavy at times you either need to focus or, like me, watch it on Netflix in two sittings. I still liked Steve McQueen’s movie Mangrove that takes place in a similar era and also culminates in a trial just a little bit better.

Before we get to the rest of this week’s new movies, I have one last review from the New York Film Festival, and it’s the closing night film, FRENCH EXIT, from director Azazel Jacobs and writer Patrick Dewitt, who has adapted his own book. The film stars Michelle Pfeiffer as Frances Price, a Manhattan widow from wealth who discovers she has no more money, just as her son Malcolm (Lucas Hedges with longer hair than usual) has decided to marry his girlfriend Susan (Imogen Poots) though he hasn’t told his mother that yet. With no other options, Francis takes her son on a ship to live in Paris for a while at the home of one Mme. Renard (Valarie Mahaffey), an elderly woman who is a genuine fan of Francis and welcomes them as her guests.

This is one of those ensemble character dramedies that I wouldn’t even be able to begin to tell you why you should see it unless you miss seeing Pfeiffer in a semi-decent performance, but one that doesn’t do much as the film itself is so boring and insufferably pretentious most of the time I’m not sure I can even recommend it for that.

Jacobs and Dewitt previous made the movie Teri maybe ten years ago, and I was never really a fan, so I’m not sure why I thought that Dewitt adapting his own book would bear better results.  Once Frances and Malcolm get to Paris, there’s just an influx of odd characters who show up, some who have more impact than others. I liked seeing Danielle Macdonald as a psychic medium the duo meet on the ship across the Atlantic who Malcolm bonks. She’s brought back when Frances wants her to conduct a séance to communicate with her late husband who she thinks is now inhabiting an omni-present cat. Like everything else, the relationship between Malcolm and Susan and how that’s affected by her meeting a new guy just never goes anywhere.

For the most part, the whole thing is just dull and uninteresting, and so pretentious it never really leads to anything even remotely memorable. I have no idea why the New York Film Festival would decide to close with this one. (Although the 58th NYFF is over, some of the movies will hit its Virtual Cinema soon, so keep an eye out! For instance, this Friday, FilmLinc begins a Pietro Marcello retrospective as well as showing his latest film Martin Eden in FilmLInc’s Virtual Cinema.)

Liam Neeson stars in Mark Williams’ HONEST THIEF (Open Road), a crime-thriller in which he plays Tom Carter, the uncaught robber behind 12 bank robberies who decides to settle down with Kate (Grey’s Anatomy) Walsh’s Annie Wilkins, who he meets while renting a storage space to hide all the money he’s stolen. After a year of things getting serious with Annie, Tom decides to retire so he calls the FBI and says he’s ready to give back the 9 million, but two crooked FBI agents (one played by Jai Courtenay, the other by Anthony Ramos) decide they’re going to take the money instead. Their plan to steal the money Tom’s trying to return leads to a number of deaths, including putting Annie in the hospital. When that happens, Tom has had enough, and honestly, there’s no one better at getting revenge than Neeson. (Did we mention that Carter is ex-Marine? I mean, of course he is!)

Many will go into Honest Thief expecting the typical Neeson action revenge flick ala Taken or maybe one of his high-concept thrillers, but Honest Thief isn’t nearly that exciting. It starts out fairly slow and dry with no real crime or action elements, although Williams does throw them in from time to time. The whole thing is pretty dry, and it’s a good 54 minutes before we get to the revenge aspect of the story and that’s after a lot of bad decisions being made across the board. Anyone who is still wondering how Jai Courtney has a career won’t be changing that decision by his turn as the villain, and it’s a lot odd when the movie tries to make a sympathetic character out of his partner, played by Ramos.

Regardless, any elements that make Honest Thief unique from other Neeson action movies are quickly tossed aside for the same usual cliches, and the action scenes aren’t even that great. While Honest Thief may not be an awful or unwatchable movie, it’s probably not the action movie you might be expecting from Neeson – more like a bargain basement The Fugitive with one plot decision that almost kills the whole movie.

Delayed a number of times and now dumped to PVOD (with minimal theatrical) is Paramount’s LOVE AND MONSTERS, which is written by the prolific Bryan Duffield (The Babysitter, Spontaneous), directed by Michael Matthews and produced by Shawn Levy’s 21 Laps Entertainment. In the movie, Dylan O’Brien plays Joel Dawson, a young man surviving the apocalypse with a small community after the government’s plot to blast a couple asteroids heading to earth backfires. Instead, it creates giant, carnivorous monsters out of the earth’s animals who eliminate 95% of the earth’s human population. (We learn all of this through a Zombieland-like animated prequel getting us up to speed.)  Before the earth fell into disarray, Joel was in love with Jessica Henwick’s Aimee, but they were separated by the fateful events. Seven years later, they’re reconnected via radio and Joel has sworn to travel the 85 miles across the creature-covered wasteland to reunite with her. Hence, the title “Love and Monsters.” Get it?

I actually didn’t hate this movie, although it’s not really a family film or one meant for young kids, because it’s PG-13 for a reason, including mild violence i.e. people being chomped by monsters, and some sexuality. Dylan O’Brien does a decent job carrying it, but it relies just as much on the other people he meets, particularly Michael Rooker’s Clyde and his young ward Minnow, played by Ariana Greenblatt, the latter who is such a scene-stealer that it’s disappointing they’re only in the movie for a small chunk. They’re probably the funniest part of the movie.

I like giant monsters and these ones are certainly … interesting. They seem to have been toned down a bit maybe to be more kid-friendly, more like the kid-friend Godzilla than the terror we’ve seen in recent incarnations. There are also a number of great action set-pieces, and some good post-Apocalyptic ideas we haven’t seen, especially when Duffield’s dark sense of humor is able to come out and keep things fun.

Still, Love and Monsters is not a kids’ movie, and there’s something about it that might make people wish the filmmaker just went full-on R, because going further towards PG would have made even the best parts quite painful to get through. As it is, Love and Monsters is a suitably fine boy and his dog adventure – oh, did I mention the dog? – that would make a perfectly fine streaming movie.

We’ll get back to some of the other theatrical releases in a bit, but I wanted to get to two movies that were pleasant surprises, maybe because I went into them with absolutely zero expectations.

I wasn’t really sure what to think about Cooper Raiff’s SH#!%HOUSE (IFC Films) at first, maybe because it’s title is a little off-putting and not really particularly representative of what the movie is. Raiff himself plays Alex Malmquist, a fairly new arrival at his college but already missing home and his mother (Amy Landecker) and not really adjusting to the crazy college lifestyle as exemplified by his roommate Sam (Logan Miller). After a party at a frat called “Shithouse” (hence the title), Alex meets and connects with his dorm’s R.A. Maggie (Dylan Gelula) and the two spend the night bonding and hanging out.

Obviously, someone at IFC Films loves these platonic indie two-handers about people meeting and hanging out over the course of a night, because Shithouse is the second such movie after Olympic Dreams earlier in the year. They also must know that I’m a sucker for these kinds of semi-rom-coms, because just like with that other movie, I totally ate up everything Raiff was trying to do and say with his movie. The chemistry between the two leads is undeniable, and maybe it won’t be a surprise that Gelula also appeared in Raiff’s previous movie.

As with any relationship, things do come to an end, and this one crashes and burns in a very sad way for Alex the very next day. Maggie starts to pretend she doesn’t even know him, and she ignores his incessant texts saying how much he enjoyed their night together. Boy, I have been there back in my reckless and romantic days of youth.

At first, I wasn’t that into Raiff as an actor – remember what I’ve said about filmmakers casting themselves? – but Alex definitely grew on me. Gelula is absolutely amazing, and frankly, I can see someone “discovering” her in ten years and becoming a new Parker Posey, Kate Lynn Sheil or other similar indie ingenue.

The combination of the two is what makes Shithouse such a special experience, since their situations are quite relatable and Raiff does a great job with the characterization in his writing to make this quite enjoyable to see how things will resolve themselves.

I also wasn’t quite prepared for how much I’d enjoy Steve Byrne’s THE OPENING ACT (RLJEfilms), maybe because I was unfamiliar with Byrne, and as usual, I didn’t read the description of the movie before sitting down to watch it. If I did, I would have known that Byrne is a stand-up comic and presumably this movie is somewhat based on situations that have happened to him. It stars Jimmy O. Yang from Crazy Rich Asians (a great comic in his own right) as Willy Chu, a young comic who has always dreamed of making it in stand-up but instead, has been stuck trying to get slots at an open mic night, while holding down a day job working at an insurance company. One day, his friend (Ken Jeong) sets him up for an MC gig in Pennsylvania at the Improv where his idol Billy G (Cedric the Entertainer) will be performing, so Willy quits his job to pursue his dream.

Much of Byrne’s movie deals with Billy’s “adventure” in Pennsylvania with the club’s womanizing featured act (played by SNL’s Alex Moffatt) and trying to face the struggles of stand-up in hopes of getting to the next level. There have been better movies about the subject, like Mike Birbiglia’s Sleepwalk with You, but Byrne’s film is a nice addition, particularly because Yang plays such a likeable, benevolent character you want to see him do well even after he crashes and bombs on a Saturday night and is at risk of losing the Improv gig.

It’s obvious that Byrne pulled in a lot of favors from friends to get such a great cast of comics – even getting Whitney Cumming to make a cameo – but the likes of Bill Burr actually take on key roles, like Willy’s boss in that case. Moffatt is particularly hilarious expanding on some of his outrageous SNL characters to play a stand-up who actually does help Willy, even as he puts him in pretty awful situations. Cedric also gives another fantastic performance as Willy’s idol who gives him the cold shoulder at first but eventually comes around and offers him the mentoring that Willy needs.

The Opening Act isn’t anything particularly revelatory, but it is thoroughly entertaining, and a nice little indie that I hope people will discover for themselves, especially those who like (or perform) stand-up.

Edward James Olmos directs THE DEVIL HAS A NAME (Momentum Releasing) starring the great Oscar-nominated David Strathairn as almond farmer Fred Stern, who has been running his orchard for three decades with trusty second Santiago, played by Olmos himself. Things are going well until they notice that some of the trees are rotting. It turns out they’re being poisoned by the water that’s been sullied by crude oil run-off from the nearby Shore Oil rigs. Around the same time, an opportunist named Alex Gardner, played by Haley Joel Osment, offers Fred a very low-ball offer to buy the farm, though Fred suspects something is up, and sure enough, Shore Oil is responsible.

Another movie I didn’t know what to expect other than a few cursory elements is this movie “based on a true story” movie about the little farmer taking on “The Man.” In this case, Shore Oil is represented by Kate Bosworth’s Gigi Cutler, a tough exec. at the corporation who thinks their lawyers (one of them played by Katie Aselton!) can crush this local troublemaker. When Stern’s lawyer (Martin Sheen) sues the oil company for 2 billion, they need to start taking things seriously, bringing in a tough “fixer” played by Pablo Schreiber.

I’m not sure where to begin with this movie that certainly has noble intentions in telling this story but suffers from quite a few issues, mostly coming from the script. I was a little concerned once I knew the premise, because I was not a huge fan of Todd Haynes’ Dark Water from last year, although I did enjoy the Krasinski-Damon-Van Sant ecological venture, Promised Land. This one falls somewhere in between, and probably its biggest issue is that it tries to create some humor out of the erratic behavior of the characters played by Bosworth and Schreiber; both performances are so off-the-rails at times it regularly takes you out of Fred’s story. (Osment is also pretty crazy but at least he fits better into his role.) Strathairn is great and well-cast, and Olmos is equally good, and I imagine that it’s partially because many of their scenes are together, allowing Olmos to direct with his acting. Aselton and Sheen are also decent, especially in the courtroom scenes.

Oh, and did I mention that Alfred Molina plays the Big Boss, who is interrogating Cutler as a needless framing device? Yeah, there’s a lot of characters, and when you hold this up against something like The Trial of Chicago 7, it’s just obvious that the film has too many elements for any filmmaker to be able to juggle at once.

Because of this, The Devil Has A Name is an erratic real-life dramedy that’s too all over the place in terms of tone, it ends up shooting itself in the foot by trying (and failing) to be funny despite the serious subject matter.

Next up is 2 HEARTS (Silver Lion Films/ Freestyle Releasing), another movie based on a true story from the Hool Brothers, who I really wasn’t very familiar with. I assumed this was going to be a faith-based movie, and maybe in some ways it is, but not really. It essentially tells two stories set in different time periods that you assume will somehow be connected. Ooh, boy.

First, there’s Jacob Elordi of Euphoria and The Kissing Booth – neither of which I’ve seen, mind you – who plays Chris Gregory, a college kid who connects in a meet-cute way with Tiera Skovbye’s Sam. Before we get too far into their story, we cut back to what looks like Cuba in the ‘50s and 60s, and meet Jorge Bolivar (Adan Canto), the son of an alcohol magnate, a soccer player who suffers a serious lung issue that puts him in the hospital. Years later, Jorge is travelling to Miami when he meets Radha Mitchell’s Leslie working as a flight attendant.

Both guys are pretty suave smooth-talking pick-up artists, and the movie spends almost an hour cutting between two very corny and cheesy romance stories that really don’t offer much in terms of story. Instead, it keeps following Chris and Sam’s life as they have kids, taking forever to get to the connection between the stories. I was getting pretty bored of the movie, but I felt like I had to stick it out to see what happens.

When you call a movie “2 Hearts,” you kind of expect it to be about a heart transplant of some kind, right? But no, it’s actually about a dual lung transplant that Jorge receives. Want to take a wild guess who the donor is?  I certainly don’t want to spoil what happens, but for a movie that spends a good hour setting up the relationships between the two men and their pretty blondes with ups and downs that makes it seem like a Nicholas Sparks movie, it really throws a spanner into the fairy tale with all the melodrama that’s to come. It’s such a whiplash in terms of tone it pretty much destroys any chance of one enjoying the movie for what it is. It also loses a lot without Elordi, since the actors who play his family aren’t very good at all.

I had to actually look up the story to see how much if it was true, only to learn that Jorge was based on Jorge Bacardi who actually received a double lung transplant from one Christopher Gregory, inspiring him to create the Gabriel House of Care. The problem is that the time periods get so messed up by setting one story decades in the past. Using the same actors to play the people over that time with pretty shabby make-up just makes things that much more confusing. The big problem is that it spends so much time avoiding the actual plot and point of making the movie that by the time it gets to it, you just don’t care about the characters anymore.

The whole thing is very by the books and predictable, but ultimately, it’s hard to believe any of it, despite it being based on a true story. If you go into this movie expecting love and romance and all that kind of mushy stuff from the title, you’re likely to be disappointed when the movie finally gets to its point. (In other words, it could have used some giant monsters.)

Here’s another movie that I didn’t really know what to expect going in and that probably should have helped me enjoy it more… if it was anything resembling a good movie. Picked up at the Toronto Film Festival where it premiered last month, Evan Morgan’s THE KID DETECTIVE (Sony) stars Adam Brody as Abe Appelbaum, the “kid detective” of the titles, who as a child was one of those super-smart kids who have the deductive powers to help the people in his community, but as a 32-year-old, he just isn’t taken as seriously any more. When a high school girl named Caroline (Sophie Nélisse) comes to Abe to find out who murdered her boyfriend, Abe finally realizes that he has his first grown-up case, though he’s still obsessed with the disappearance of the mayor’s daughter (and his kid receptionist) Gracie many years earlier.

I’m sure there’s gonna be people out there who watch and appreciate The Kid Detective for what it is, a wry and slightly clever noir pastiche pseudo-comedy, but anyone who has seen Rian Johnson’s first film Brick or the underrated Mystery Team (starring Donald Glover very early in his career) might feel that this doesn’t live up to either. Besides the fact that Brody really hasn’t developed much personality as an actor, the film rolls along with a fairly flat, deadpan tone that just never gets remotely exciting. The humor is subdued and yet it feels like everyone is constantly trying too hard, particularly Morgan, while at the same time not really taking any chances. This is a movie that could have been edgier but instead, it milks its flimsy high-concept premise as long as possible before giving up.

Like Love and Monsters, Sony is releasing The Kid Detective into theaters on Friday, and hopefully parents will check that rating before assuming it’s a kid flick. Although there isn’t so much bad language or anything that wouldn’t warrant a PG… other than the fact that it’s not particularly funny or even entertaining and kids will be super-bored.

I can’t believe there’s still more! Amazon’s “Welcome to the Blumhouse” anthology series continues this week with two more movies in the series of eight, which you can now watch on Prime Video:

Easily my favorite of the four movies I’ve seen is Zu Quirke’s NOCTURNE (Amazon), which follows a pair of twins, Julie (Sidney Sweeney) and Vivian (Madison Iseman), who are both competitive concert pianists at the Lindberg Academy, although Vivian is clearly the better, as she’s heading off to Julliard while Julian is taking a gap year.

Before we meet them, we see a young violist jumping off the balcony to her death for some reason, and we learn that she was the finalist to play a concerto, so now that slot is open and both Julie and her sister desperately want it.

Nocturne is certainly more like the horror movies we expect from Blumhouse, which is both good and bad. The good is that it is indeed quite scary as Quirke’s team uses really eerie lighting effects and other things to create suspense. But there’s also an artiness to what Quirke does that elevates Nocturne above the normal high-concept horror-thriller.

Quirke, who also wrote the film, delivers all the characterization you expect from a good horror film so that you really care about the characters, and she’s put together such a fine cast, particularly Sweeney who has to run a gamut of emotions as Julie. I also like Rodney To as Julie’s tough instructor Wilkins

Again, I won’t say too much more about the actual plot, although if you can imagine a Faustian bargain and how that plays out for those around Julie, you can probably understand why a super-fan of The Omen might dig what Quirke did in this environment.

The fourth movie in the “Welcome to the Blumouse” series is EVIL EYE (Amazon), from Indo-American filmmakers Elan and Rajeev Dassani, a relatively innocuous thriller based around the relationship between Pallavi (Sunita Mani from last week’s Save Yourselves! and GLOW) and her mother Usha, played by Sarita Choudhury.  Pallavi is in her late 20s and single and her mother keeps wanting to get her set-up with a nice man, as a good Indian mother is wont to do.  When Pallavi meets Sandeep (Omar Maskati), things are going well since he has money and her mother thinks her daughter has hit the jackpot, until she realizes that Sandeep has a dark secret.

Here’s another thriller where it’s really tough to talk about the plot, because obviously the filmmakers want the story to unfold in the specific way it was written. Apparently, this one was once an Audible story, and the first thing I noticed was how amazing Sunita Mani looks from her fairly glammed down roles in other things. I think she’s just wearing make-up and has her styled different but I’m not sure I would have known it was the same actor in Save Yourselves! Because I had to do a double take.

The problem with Evil Eye, and it’s been a problem with some of the other “Welcome to the Blumhouse” movies, is that it isn’t necessarily what I’d consider horror. It really plays a lot more like a romantic drama, other than the fact that Pallavi’s mother has visions and believes in astrology enough to send her daughter trinkets to protect her from the “evil eye.” In fact, the movie just gets weirder and weirder, as it starts introducing supernatural elements, and without giving the big plot twist away, it does expect one to believe in reincarnation.

I wish I could have liked this more, but it really seems like it would be better suited for a show like “The Outer Limits” or “The Twilight Zone,” since the premise is stretched so think for about 30 minutes longer than necessary.  I think the filmmakers did perfectly fine with what they had to work with – the two main actresses are just fab – but I think I’d need to see some of their other work to see if the issues I had were just cause the story isn’t that interesting or by their limitations in making it.

(And I promise that I do have a feature on all the filmmakers from the first four “Welcome to the Blumhouse” series coming over at Below the Line, but it’s been a pretty tough piece to write.)

I reviewed Alex Gibney’s new doc Totally Under Control (Neon/Participant), co-directed with Ophelia Harutyunyan and Suzanne Hillinger, in last week’s column but it’s now available to watch On Demand and then it will be on Hulu starting next Tuesday, October 20. Obviously, everyone wanted to get this out there and make sure people see it before they get too in-deep with the election.

I also reviewed David Byrne’s American Utopia (HBO), directed by Spike Lee, a few weeks back, but it will be on HBO and presumably HBO Max on Sunday night. Not as big an event as Disney+’s Hamilton but still worth watching, especially if you’re a fan of Byrne or his band the Talking Heads, because it actually acts as a nice counterpoint bookend to the late Jonathan Demme’s fantastic Stop Making Sense, one of the best concert documentaries ever made, or at least top 5. I’m bummed I missed Byrne’s show on Broadway, and it doesn’t sound like Broadway will be coming back anytime soon so I guess this HBO documentation is the best any of us can wish for.

Of the movies I didn’t have time to watch this week, the two that I’m hoping to still get to are two docs: Inna Blockhina’s SHE IS THE OCEAN (Blue Fox Entertainment) and Rick Korn’s HARRY CHAPIN: WHEN IN DOUBT, DO SOMETHING (Greenwich). She Is the Ocean explores the lives of nine women who all have a passion for the ocean. The Harry Chapin doc may be more self-explanatory, and I wish I was a bigger fan of Chapin, the famed singer/songwriter/activist, because maybe I would have watched this movie earlier. (But seriously, look at how many movies came out this week, when I was hoping it would be “slower”!) Also, I’m a little bit interested in the K-Pop doc #BlackPinkLightUpTheSky that will air on Netflix, just because, I dunno, I like adorable, young Asian women, so sue me?

Premiering on Disney+ this Friday is Justin Baldoni’s CLOUDS, starring Fin Argus as musician Zach Sobiech, who has only months to live when his cancer starts spreading, but he follows his dream to make an album and becomes a viral music phenomenon. I’m not sure if this is a true story but it certainly sounds a lot like a faith-based film called I Still Believe that hit theaters just before they all shut down due to the pandemic. Coincidence? I think not.

Also this week, the 32nd ANNUAL NEWFEST LGBTQ FILM FESTIVAL begins on Friday, running through October 27 with opening night being the well-regarded Ammonite, starring Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan, but it will be done as a drive-in, so I’m out. Over in Los Angeles, the AFI FEST starts on Thursday and runs through October 22, and that’s also showing a lot of cool festival/awards films that I haven’t had a chance to watch yet like The Father, I’m Your Woman and more. I missed my chance to get press accreditation, so yeah, I guess I’ll be waiting on that.

And then we get to all the movies that I didn’t have time to see or didn’t receive a screener, so here we go. This week’s unfortunate dumping ground:

Lupin III: The First (GKIDS) (This anime film is being released as a Fathom event on Oct. 18 – dubbed, and Oct. 21 – subtitled)

Belly of the Beast (I’ve actually heard good things about Erika Cohn’s doc about illegal sterilizations being conducted in a woman’s prison.)

Don’t Look Back (Gravitas Ventures)

Rom Boys: 40 Years of Rad (101 Films)

The Antidote (Cinetic/Brand New Story)

Monochrome: The Chromism (Tempest)

J.R “Bob” Dobbs and the Church of the Subgenius (Uncork’d)

Monster Force Zero (WildEye Releasing)

Ghabe (GVN Releasing)

The Accidental President (Intervention)

In Case of Emergency (Kino Lorber)

I’m not sure how much of a column I’m gonna write next week since I won’t have nearly as much time to watch movies or write about them in the coming week, while I’m in Colmbus. There are a couple high profile movies I hope to get to, so we’ll see what happens.

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have bothered to read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or drop me a note or tweet on Twitter. I love hearing from readers … honest!

[monicalorandavis]

I saw ‘Knives Out’ a week ago and I’m still reeling

I saw ‘Knives Out’ a week ago and I’m still reeling. This movie is fun and I simply won’t talk to anyone who disagrees! I don’t want to argue about its merits. It’s good.

Your issue is, I presume, an issue with what the film says about the upper class. Go on, sympathize for the horrible, rich family that represents all that is ugly with America. Feel bad for the racist gargoyles who are equal parts human and checking account. These people are snobs. They are snob dumpster fires and if you didn’t have fun roasting them then you and I are on different sides of the war.

What war you ask? I guess I’ll call it the culture war (though that’s not really it). I’m talking about the current (unannounced) civil war between those who think Trump is getting unfairly maligned and us, the ones who are looking back on this shameful era ten years down the line, explaining to our kids what the fuck happened in 2019. This is bad. Art should make fun of us. Our obsession with fame and fortune has gotten us into global laughing stock territory. So let’s allow for art to poke fun as the bullshit of America. Art should be a reflection of our ugly parts. We all must look in the mirror when we try on a bathing suit. This is that. I choose not to place blame on the world for my muffin top. It’s funny. I’m gonna still have fun with this muffin, and this film, even if it doesn’t make me feel amazing. Laughing at yourself exorcises the demons. We still need art to encourage our spiritual progress. Don’t be such a stick in the mud.

So, now that I’ve sorted that out, the film...

It’s good.

Now let’s focus on the acting which is, arguably, always my favorite part of any movie.

Didn’t we all revel in the Yosemite Sam impression Daniel Craig was doing with New Orleans private investigator, Benoit Blanc? Wasn’t Lakeith Stanfield playing the slightly oblivious police detective while his partner fangirled over Christopher Plummer a treat?

It was.

In a society so obsessed with celebrity, it was especially delightful to watch the investigators reckon with people who simply did not believe they had to play by the rules. They don’t have to partake in police questioning. They have people for that!

Only, they do have to partake in police questioning and their lack of experience in dealing with authority figures, like the police, made them particularly horrible witnesses. They quite enjoyed a wonderfully anonymous type of wealth, free from press and the quotidian boredom of bosses, day jobs, rules...you get it. The Thrombey’s do not handle inconvenience very well.

As a result, we delight in their misfortune. This move dripped with Agatha Christie meets Succession realness. Plus subtle notes of Rupaul’s Drag Race camp.

Yes, I admit, Benoit Blanc is no Hercule Poirot. All these mystery purists coming for ‘Knives Out’ best fall back with those comparisons because it’s simply unfair. Christie’s number one Belgian is too good for mere mortals to emulate. And Daniel Craig tried very, very hard to give you an iconic detective character. Was it goofy and weird? Yes. Let’s all agree to move on.

And the moving on is a larger lesson here. Because only when you surrender to this film does it reveal all its gifts to you. Once you stop comparing it to all the other stories you hold so dear does it grow into its own animal. It’s a mystery for the age in which we find ourselves. I will not slander the p.c. police because, hell, I’m sort of one of them. Social justice warrior is not an insult that rustles my feathers. Interestingly, this film joins the SJW’s alongside the Stephen Miller’s of the world. White privilege is white privilege. And, unfortunately, the Thrombey’s, both young and old, liberal and conservative, are victims of their privilege. So blind to the plight of others, they can not help but make themselves the heroes of their own story. And people don’t like the thought that they, like the film’s youngest SJW of the family, Katherine Langford, could be part of the problem. And yet, she is. She so is.

Langford delivers a knockout performance of Taylor Swift-level white feminism that is so 2019 and clueless that I imagine many people even missed the joke.

Along those same lines, Chris Evans is the playboy, black sheep of the family who seems misunderstood and sexy but, spoiler alert, is just conniving and sexy.

Both performances were stellar and so deeply entrenched in modern white identity politics that if you’re not paying attention you might assume that their characters are just your standard rich villains. Nay. These are the “good white people” who are behaving badly. These are the white people who donate to charities and hire undocumented workers like Ana de Armas’ character, Marta. They are people who listen to rap music and love ‘Insecure’ and took an African-American studies class in college. And yet, they demand attention and emotional labor from the (employed) people around them. They distort proximity with closeness and try to lure Marta into their world. But she always knows better. For whatever reason, she can not trust these people, even before Harlan’s death.

Rian Johnson directs with a certain je ne sais quoi. Call it a ‘BDE’ that I would not expect from such a dweeby looking dweeb. Yes, ‘Knives Out’ has a fun enough story. But it really shows the fuck out is with its performances. Holy moly. No small roles, only small actors, as the saying goes. Yet in the case of ‘Knives Out’ you will find neither. Everybody is a god damn star. You should know that I stan Chris Evans but, as it turns out, this film begs you to worship its entire cast. So I did.

‘Knives Out’ is a star-making performance for Ana de Armas. If you hadn’t heard, de Armas garnered a Golden Globe nod and it is well-deserved. Armas’ Marta is a nuanced, funny, sensitive, conspirator in a plot that could’ve isolated the audience but instead put us smack dab in the middle of a moral quagmire.

Only the best actors can pull this off. Lesser actors have us turn against them while they flounder. Marta’s role in the family drama is as an outsider. In spite of their insistence that she is one of them, she keeps her distance, only clinging to Harlan. She fell for Chris Evans’ charms briefly, and I applaud Rian Johnson for avoiding a romance between the two (we didn’t need it) and focusing instead on the emotional betrayal. Marta was a woman with her head screwed on straight. In spite of her, possible, nursing fumbles she was the only kind person Harlan had in his life. She would never risk her loyalty to him by engaging in some foolishness with Chris Evans’ hunky ass.

And I repeat, I don’t care about your thoughts regarding inheritance. It is silly to contest that Marta deserved nothing less than the full sum of the fortune (*spoiler*). She deserved everything. She deserved an existence in this country free from citizenship anxiety. She deserved a partner who loved her. She deserved a friend who didn’t kill himself to save her ass. Least of all, she deserved Chris Evans’ character to be better. But, he was a product of his shitty family. How could he be better?

Three names: Jamie. Lee. Curtis. I need her in at least seven to twelve projects in the coming year. She is a stand out among stand outs. She serves up the quintessential performance of a cold-hearted bitch that is so likeable that I will patiently await the spin-off. I need to know where her Linda Drysdale is now. If anyone in the family was able to land on their feet it was Linda. We all know it.

Linda was the only Thrombey child who had the guts to make it without a handout. Her loser husband, played by the ever-handsomer Don Johnson, was practically useless. Her loser brother, played by the unusually diminutive Michael Shannon, was the same. Her sister in law, played by the illustrious Toni Collette, had her head so far up her own ass that even Gwyneth Paltrow would blush.

Poor Linda. She was surrounded by idiots. I hope she’s doing ok.

And now, we’re at the end. I’ve tried my best to avoid any horrible spoilers. But I’ve also taken a deep dive into SJW’s so I might’ve gotten off track along the way...

In any event, this movie is good. And I can’t wait to see it again.

[ournewoverlords]

Rocketman is great, go see it!

I'm not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no I'm a rocket man Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

Oh man, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this movie. I’m apathetic towards biopics and I barely know any Elton John songs outside the Disney ones (yes, I’m a heathen, my excuse is that I didn’t get to America until 1995 and some combination of Britney and N’Sync consumed my formative years) but I had a big doofus grin throughout this movie and discovered a lot more sympathy for a celebrity I had in the back of my head as “the eccentric old dude who seems nice enough but probably doesn’t have all his marbles?”. That’s not because the film glamorizes Elton John by any means - it literally starts out with him declaring he’s done a great many horrible things, and concludes with him sighing that he’s been a cunt since 1975 - but you see the man inside the glittery bird costume, broken but trying, and I think that makes it a success in my book.

It’s a “musical fantasy” - honestly, a straight-up musical - that hits some pretty familiar narrative beats: main character bursts into rehab in the opening, looking like he needs a shower, a shave, and a hug, and now we’ll learn how he got there. No surprises, but it’s a clever way of unspooling his character arc as the movie progresses, because we watch him start his account with flat-out lies - “my dad was great, always there for me” - and then as he keeps going, it starts pouring out of him and he can’t help but begin to confront the truth. One character arc, the literal arc, is about his downfall, but the other one - the one behind it - is about his healing. It’s not an “X happened, then Y happened” kinda biopic, the journey here is as much inward as temporal - this is Elton, coming back to face the words a musician early in his career told him: “You gotta kill the person you were born as in order to become the person you want to be.” But who is the person Elton wants to be? What if the person he wants to be is just... himself?

And who is that, anyways? What I love about the movie is how it’s interested in what’s behind all the glam, the glitter, the outrageous costumes and crazy heels and rock n’roll - but it’s not afraid of those things either. You don’t have to be one or the other, extrovert or introvert, dazzling showman or a shy kid who only ever wanted to play for himself. Because the man IS fucking fabulous, he clearly had big emotions and a big life, and what I love about this movie is how it’s not afraid to throw itself into that, the same way camp is a kind of defiance against both the people who take life too seriously, and the people who don’t take it seriously enough. It punctuates again and again that this whole thing is about the hole in Elton’s heart, the hole that one’s parents are supposed to fill, and how his outrageous talents both lift him out of there and then give him too many things to fill it with — luxury clothes, booze, sex, drugs, eating disorders, pushing away the only people who care for him as if self-hatred were its own addiction. It’s a bottomless pit, and the struggle Elton faces is whether there’s anything worth salvaging at the bottom of it. It doesn’t sound like a very heroic choice, but it is: choosing life.

Some notes I jotted down right after watching, spoilers under the cut:

There were some things I didn’t think worked as well, though it wasn’t that they were bad, just that I wish there was more there.  

For example, I thought that the final sequence where the characters from his past re-appear in this kind of cliched therapy sequence felt a bit too on-the-nose and forced, or at least clunky compared to the deftness of many of the earlier scenes. As a climax, it didn’t really land for me. This is part of my general wish that the story had more “meat” on it — i.e., a bit more prose and less verse — because it feels like it should be building up to this realization that Bernie was the one who truly loved him this whole time (not romantically I mean, but, in the more meaningful sense, properly). Because Bernie essentially becomes a peripheral character after their initial honeymoon — he’s always kinda in the background, but they drift apart over the years to underline Elton’s fall — so their relationship doesn’t have as much weight as it could’ve to me even though it is a thread that runs throughout the movie.

Don’t get me wrong — the scenes they have together are sublime, especially that “Your Song” scene, where the look Elton gives him really makes me wonder if Elton’s aborted kiss really was just a young man confusing his momentary giddiness for a crush. Jamie Bell gives this wonderfully gentle performance that keeps him as this North star in your mind, the one you want Elton to find home by. I just wanted more, especially in the latter half of the film, because I think the core of this film is about a love story, between Elton John and the things that save him: his best friend, and his love for music.

That’s my critique of the film in general, if I had to have one — despite running over two hours long, there’s some parts that feel oddly compressed or skimpy. John Reid, Richard Madden in an incredible performance as Elton’s frighteningly intense yet undeniably attractive business (and pleasure!) partner with the Hugo Boss suit and smoldering black eyes, goes from what girls want the dude in Fifty Shades to be to an abusive, cold-blooded asshole in the span of what feels like two scenes and ten minutes. It’s like one second, Elton’s star is rising and he’s flying high — and then in the next, he’s snorting coke, fighting with John, and drinking too much. It is heavily implied that: 1) getting famous was synonymous with doing drugs at the time, and because of Elton’s personality he couldn’t brake (but I still wish they made this subtext a bit more text) and 2) that behind this lurch downwards is his inability to be honest about his sexuality — John, of course, wants him to marry a beard “for the business” — but it’s strange that that’s not brought up earlier as a theme, when he was secretly getting kissed by the trumpeter and then happily trysting with John.

“Living a double life”, though, is a huge theme in another way: it’s the contrast between Elton’s happy, extravagant show life and Reginald Dwight, a lonely little boy trapped inside a miserable man trapped inside a mansion that provides so much of the pathos in the “adult” years of the film. None of the fame and fortune have brought him love, only adoration. If that’s a familiar thesis in biopics about famous people, it still works for me here because Taron Egerton’s performance is just SO GOOD. He gives it his all in every moment, not just the big singing and dancing ones. Behind all the little drug-induced twitches and grimaces of self-loathing (but also just the tiiiny bit of ego all great performers have), you can see the sweet kid who deserved better, who just wants to “go home”, if only he could find it.

I think the fundamental reason behind my “I wish there were more stuff” is the fact the movie structures itself after a musical, and for musicals the non-singing parts are more about how you get from one big singing part to the other. That’s a hard space for a biopic, especially one that gets into pretty serious territory and has years to cover; song and dance end up competing with time for character work. But the director does something I think is really clever, though, and that’s to use those musical sequences as part of the story — the moments flow into the song, and the song crystallizes the moment/theme/feeling in this natural way. They’re not an excuse to check off Elton John’s biggest hits, but rather fulfill a cinematic purpose in capturing an emotional rather than factual truth.

Not just the songs, but there are a number of these deft little scenes I really liked because they make the “point” in a single shot/cut/image, with very little dialogue. Some examples:

- The first time Elton and Bernie meet, Bernie mentions the country song Elton’s prospective manager had just disparaged and Elton kinda smirks, then in the next beat realizes that maybe that was kinda asshole, and he clumsily hums out the first verse, and Bernie perks up and follows with the next, and soon they’re both banging on the diner table and singing it together with huge grins. What’s especially great about this scene is that you can’t figure out if they’re doing this in “reality” and everyone thinks they’re crazy, or if this is one of those musical fantasy sequences. The point is that the distinction between them doesn’t matter, because that sequence is about the feeling of the moment, and at that moment they feel connected. Love at first sight.

- The scene where many years later Elton, now successful and dare-we-say perhaps even hopeful that his father might accept him now, finds the man with his new house and family — and after the expected awkward intro it seems to be going ok, his father’s invited him to come sit and chat inside. So there’s his father sitting on the couch… and then this pair of boys, his new sons, comes over and he just wraps his arm around them so easily, and your gut sinks instantly, before it even cuts to Elton, whose face has shattered all at once

- Nice studio girl, lifting her voice with his in his darkest moment -> cut to wedding -> cut to morning at the house, each opening their own door and greeting each other with an excruciating level of politeness. Says it all in three scenes.

- The levitation during his performance at The Troubadour. PERFECT. You can say “this and this happened”, “and then he gave an amazing performance”, but that’s not as powerful as showing the feeling Elton John must’ve felt during that performance: a lonely little boy turned struggling young man who felt, for just a moment, that he could fly.

- Another musical sequence - Elton’s suicide attempt, where they carry him onto the ambulance and he keeps batting away the oxygen mask to keep singing. It works on so many levels because he’s just a kid who wants to sing, he’s the star who was born to sing, but he’s also a man who doesn’t want to live.

[janiedean]

I have to tell you something but PLEASE, please, don't be mad. I love Brienne, and I loved her with Jamie, and I'm mad and sad that they didn't get to have their happy ending...but I don't think his ending was shit. Or OOC. First at all, book!Jamie is not TV!Jamie: his relationship with Cersei is different, not as sick or manipulative. He loves his siter and is loved by her in a more "helthier" way: in the show she told Tywing the truth about them, and it's huge considering the love for power1/?

He watched her lose their 3 children, he learned about her walk of shame to get back to Tommen, he witnessed Robert’s humiliations. I think he would have stayed with Brienne if she knew his sister was safe, but he couldn’t be happy if his siter died and he did nothing to save her. He needed to be that person, otherwise all his growth would be lost, and he would have dragged Brienne in his spiral, and he didn’t want to make her miserable. To me he is still an honorable man, bc when there was a chance to do something, he did it: he killed the king to save KL, he fought the dead army, but over and over he said that the Lannister army didn’t stand a chance against the dragons or the Dathraki, he was not a fool. His speech was not about NOT CARING, it was about knowing there was nothing he could have done. He did good, he was good, and till his last moment he tried to be honorable, he tried to be the person Brienne inspired him. P.s.: Still heartbroken that he died, but I think there is some poetic justice with Cercei crashed by the symbol of the power she tried lo long to hold.

anon, I appreciate that you’re being nice and I appreciate that you’re trying to find some sense in this entire thing, but… okay, I’ll go over it and please don’t take me as *me* being mad or whatever but I don’t think a few things were clear here so I’ll try to do it now:

jc in the show is not healthier. it might be different, but it’s not and the fact that it might have been less obvious doesn’t mean that they didn’t drag that toxic mess out for four seasons when it had no reasons to exist. now: I was down with looking at it until s4 because that was book canon and I can deal with book canon. I had to look at three more fucking seasons of that toxic abusive mess happening and I don’t know if it’s obvious or not, but if I have one thing, like one in the universe that I can’t deal with, that I hate and that makes me feel sick more than anything else it’s emotional/psychological manipulation. and show!jc has that in spades and I can’t. like, as it is right now I’m pretty damn sure I’d take reading explicit thramsay fic that ends horribly with annexed detailed fanart than even rewatching five seconds of a scene where those two are in the same frame and is2g if they had kissed at the end of 8x05 I’d have thrown up. please for the love of everything if you think it’s better than book canon your prerogative, but don’t come at me informing me of that because I can’t. especially not right now;

I honestly can’t give much of a damn about the stuff c. suffered when 80% of that is her damn fault and I’m especially talking about tommen who only did that because she gave zero shits about his opinion in anything but we’re supposed to think she’s a good mother or that she cares which makes me especially sick because people have decided that for her out of nowhere when we all know how much leeway they give catelyn for that and I’m honestly done with it, and maybe it’s not inconsistent that he’d care, but it’s inconsistent how they wrote it;

because I mean if they showed some half-regret over leaving brienne or she was mentioned or if the entire thing was addressed instead of spending four episodes building it up and then did in four minutes what it took six feet under an entire season to do with nate and brenda back in the day is bad writing, has no consistency, it also murdered tyrion as a character because I can’t believe that in the span of two episodes he goes from I’m happy that you’re happy to WELL I DON’T HATE MY SISTER SO MUCH JUST GO TO PENTOS when ah, wait, c. sent bronn to kill both of them?

also ‘who ever cared abotu the innocents’ or whatever the fuck that line was??? wow, that’s all this asshole has ever cared about in canon to the point of losing his reputation for it not counting c. or tyrion at least in the very beginning of the series when everyone thinks he’s an ass, and I have to buy that this episode was halfway decent writing?

also: even if I was okay with jaime’s ending - which I could have been if at least it amounted to something because that entire episode was a plot hole after plot hole (where’s widow’s wail? he waves WITH THE FAKE HAND??? WTF??, did he ring the bells so he actually helped destroy the city without knowing dany would lose her shit through jon connington’s ghost possessing her? if bran didn’t rat him out bc he had A ROLE TO PLAY what was the damned role since he hasn’t done anything until now that warranted it??? just the first four) and he didn’t even… help cersei or take her out like he literally was there to just give her some basic human comfort and rocks fall everyone dies, what’s the sense of it?? -, anon, this entire narrative leaves brienne horribly;

because sorry but in the best of chances she’s not pregnant and someone lies to her and tells her jaime went there to stop cersei and tried to be honorable (which given what they made him say about not caring for the innocents makes it bad writing but nvm) and she can think okay, I waited years for the right guy to trust/open myself to and then he left me like that but at least he did it for a good reason now will I ever trust anyone again, maybe, and I assure you that getting over such a thing is not too easy, but that would be the best option. mid-bad option: she still thinks he did it for the right reasons but she’s pregnant so hey, she has an illegitimate child from a man who left her like that to go into a senseless death making her believe she was wrong about him and breaking her heart and she has to play single mother in tarth without him or maybe she can hedge knight along with the kid or leave him with pod or smth but that doesn’t look good on jaime either. or worse, she’s pregnant and she finds out he went just to die with cersei and didn’t even mention her or anything to tyrion along the way so she did all of the above…. for a guy who at the end of it as the narration puts it just went back to die with c. and a kid he didn’t even know might be real or not when she could have given him what he always craved/wanted/needed and left her like that? like, anon, even if it was a good ending for jaime, there is no bloody way that brienne gets out of this mess of a season with a dignified ending unless they somehow manage to pull a miracle out of their arses and sorry but their writing has been so bad that I honestly doubt it, not even david milch showing up like the calvarly could salvage this crap of a finale, and for all characters tbqh, not just them;

on top of that, sorry but it passes the message that brienne, only rep. in this show for nonstandard attractive people who spends years thinking she’ll never find love and suddenly thinks she can be happy with the guy who also fulfilled her greatest dream and opens herself up to him putting her vulnerability on the line (and while I don’t really think the whole virginity thing is that much of an issue since she actually did manage to give it to the guy she wanted it does mean something in this context)…………. shouldn’t have done it because wow, left like that without a second thought and without being addressed in the next episode at all by at least tyrion who has spent the previous four episodes either admiring her or trying to get her and jaime together never mind jaime? wow, I mean, I surely signed up to see the character I always saw myself in getting this shit treatment by people who obviously didn’t understand either her or jaime at the bottom of it for as much as I still think 8x04 did it right until the end?

anon, I appreciate your optimism about that narrative, but this episode was so badly written that it managed to about destroy the narratives of characters that weren’t even in it (sansa and brienne, and let’s not even discuss sansa because lmao), to have every single person but davos and possibly jon but meh behave ooc given what half of their lines said if not their actions because even if we take jaime’s actions as your reading (legit) what they made him say was still atrocious and ooc and same for tyrion, let’s not even touch dany or sandor/arya or really anyone that wasn’t davos. I cannot, in all good conscience, find anything good about this mess because it was badly written. period. even if we decide that the plot and motivations were fine and we try to make them make sense the way you did, the execution was shit, the dialogue was shit, it looked like they weren’t even trying, it did a disservice to every single character that was in it except davos who was there for five seconds to smuggle stuff and I honestly, honestly, cannot even find the force of will to try to make sense of it.

this entire season has been a gigantic plot hole, it wasn’t coherent within its own narration see ep. 2 clashing with ep. 8, 90% of what happened post 8x02 was for shock value without giving a single fuck about making it look in character and making the characters behave nonsensically - and I don’t mean just jaime, I mean all of them to serve the undoubtedly wtf shocking ending they have in plan for us which if I guessed already I’ll hate with the force of a thousand suns, and I’m honestly done with trying to make sense of this thing because nothing makes sense anymore. I appreciate that y’all are trying but I give up. I can’t make sense of a narrative that goes like ‘we’re doing this because it’s cool and if it doesn’t add up with everything we did before who gives a fuck’, and I honestly can do without trying to find a silver lining in a show that has totally twisted the message of the books and turned into an angst fest for which everyone has to be miserable at all costs or it’s not good tv, and that’s the last I’m going to say about this specific matter because:

a) I’m tired, b) I want to finish my spitefics and ignore this mess ever happened and concentrate on doing something that makes me happy, c) if I just keep on thinking about how bad this was IN GENERAL I wish jaime was my #1 problem I just feel worse and I don’t need it, d) the fact that they did brienne this dirty and she wasn’t even in this episode is really leaving the worst sour taste in my mouth and it’s already bad enough that I have to hope her ending is only 80% crap and not 100% crap, I honestly can’t with discourse that tries to find any basic sense in how this episode was conceived and executed beyond my problems with jc, jaime’s writing and the fact that they managed to get wrong one of his three most basic character traits that has nothing to do with brienne or jb for that matter.

thanks for being polite and nice about this and I swear I’m not mad but I honestly can’t with this episode and I would appreciate if from this point on anyone could refrain from trying to make jc sound better than it is where I can see it/where I can’t blacklist it because it’s really not a good idea right now. thanks again and have a possibly nicer than than mine. ;)

[hockeyandstuff91]

Waves of Pleasure - Part 8

Word Count: 2,222

Players: Tyler Seguin, Jamie Benn, Gavin Bayreuther, Dallas Stars, Flames (mentioned)

Warnings: cussing

Authors note: Okay first of all no smut? Who am I? lmao jk it was bound to happen! No worries though, it’ll be back for next part im like 99.99% sure at least lmao. I'm honestly really impressed with myself not gonna lie LOL! This is what I love about writing series like this, when something is going on in the story that it keeps me motivated to post regularly. I missed this feeling a lot actually. I had been so busy the last few months, being so exhausted I just honestly had 0 motivation for any series I have going. BUT HERE WE ARE DAY THREE and there’s a new part! I know I wont be able to keep the whole updating daily thing going for super long, that’s just what happens with my writing. However I am so happy you guys have been so supportive and loving of this series so far, and where I have been taking it. This was never really the plan, it just happened naturally as I wrote. The characters have a mind of their own I swear! Alright I'll stop rambling now so you can get on to good stuff lol <3 love you guys! thank you again so much and I hope you enjoy this part! Please give me some feedback so I know how you all like it <3 :)

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3    Part 4     Part 5     Part 6    Part 7    Part 9

(Brooke POV)

I yawned as we entered the hotel in Calgary. The travel was early in the morning, to allow the boys enough time to rest a bit here before going for the pregame skate. Having games back to back I could imagine was a little exhausting for the boys, but I was for sure not use to being up this early. I didn't have much to complain about though, I was traveling with my two favorite people, so it really didn't matter what time it was.

The team was checked in to the hotel, key cards being passed out to all of the guys. I looked around, trying to keep an eye on Gavin. I was worried about the kid, he had seemed to not be very talkative with anyone lately, which just wasn't like him at all. I wanted to talk to him, but I knew I wasn't the teams mom and it wasn't really my place to say anything, or try to fix anything.

My attention was brought back to the room as Tyler wrapped his arm around me, pulling me in the direction of the elevator as we followed Jamie and part of the team in. There was a race going on between some of the younger guys to see which one of their elevators would make it up to our floor first. I laughed and just shook my head, wondering how they had so much energy already.

Once making it upstairs and into our room, I crawled into the bed immediately, curling up under the warm blanket. I smiled as I felt the bed dip around me, both boys pressing their lips to my cheeks as they wrapped their bodies around mine. I loved when they would both cuddle me like this, it always made me feel safe and at home.

Our nap didn't last too long before the boys were woken by their alarms, getting ready to head to the rink for a few hours. I however had plans to meet a friend that lived in town, which I was excited for.

We all parted ways in the lobby, the boys getting into the team bus, while I got into the uber that Tyler had ordered for me, making my way into downtown.

The day had gone by so fast, getting to see a bit of the city with my friend, before I headed to where the Flames played for the game. Tyler and Jamie both walked me up to the suite that they had gotten set up for me, spending a few minutes with me before they had to go down to get ready for the warmup.

The game had just started, and it was less than a minute in when Spezza made a goal. This game was already off to an amazing start. It was pretty back and forth for almost the rest of the first period, the boys were doing great, Gavin still looked like he wasn't fully in the game yet. I sighed, hoping that one of the boys would talk to him soon when intermission came up. The clock ticked by, less than 4 minutes left when unfortunately the Flames scored, tying the game.

We still had plenty of time left, and I had a really good feeling that we were going to win this one tonight. There was something about the energy on the ice that was different, it was exciting already, especially after the super early goal by Spezz.

(Jamie's POV)

"Alright we need to talk," I said pulling Gavin aside as soon as we got into the locker room, the first period over with, tied with the Flames currently.

"What's up?"

"You have not had your head in the game since we left Colorado. Is there something going on?"

Gavin shrugged, refusing to look at me.

"Dude you can talk to us you know. We are your team for a reason, we have to be a family and work together, or games are going to keep going like this."

Gavin sighed and looked around, pulling me farther away from everyone. "I'm terrified to say anything about this.."

"About what? What is going on?"

"I heard something our last night in Denver.. I came up from the bar kind of early after the game and-"

"You heard something?" I asked, leaning against the wall next to him.

"Yeah.. uhm.. coming from the room beside mine," he said, swallowing hard. I could tell he didn't want to have this conversation at all.

Then it clicked in my head. Fuck.

"Your room was right next to Tyler and I's," I sighed, covering my face.

"Yeah and Tyler was still in the bar.."

"Alright you're gonna need to talk to Tyler about this," I said.

Gavin nodded, looking down at the floor. I walked over and whispered to Tyler what Gavin had just told me and nodded towards where Gavin was standing in the corner.

(Tyler's POV)

I sighed and stood up. I had a feeling this would happen eventually.

"I'm so sorry dude," Jamie said, looking down at his skates.

"It's alright. It was bound at happen at some point. I'll fix it. Don't let this get in your head now and fuck with the game. We are still cool," I said as I made my way over to Gavin.

I could tell that Jamie was feeling really bad about this, but I didn't have time to deal with that right now, I needed to talk to Gavin about this before we had to go back out to finish the game.

"Hey Gav," I said as I made my way over to him.

"H-hey Tyler," he just about whispered, staring at the ground.

"Listen.. this isn't going to make any sense to you probably, but I just want you to know that everything is okay."

Gavin finally looked up, searching my face, probably wondering what I meant by that. "But.. do you even know what I heard? I didn't tell Jamie what it was, I just said I heard something."

I chuckled and nodded "Yeah I'm pretty sure I can guess what you heard," I said glancing over to Jamie. "I told them to be quiet," I said shaking my head, laughing.

"Wait. You know?!"

"Yeah Gavin.. That’s what I was trying to explain. It's not something that is easy to understand, but its an arrangement we have. The only way I can explain this would probably be more details than you want to know," I said.

Gavin just stared at me, I'm sure he was confused and not really sure how to react to what I just told him. Honestly I didn't expect anything else from him, how was he suppose to understand that I let my best friend and teammate fuck my girlfriend?

"So.. you.. he.." Gavin sighed, I could see the gears turning in his head as he tried to figure this out.

I laughed, closing my eyes and rubbing my hand down my face. "Okay, without being too graphic, yes Jamie and Brooke have sex, and I'm fine with it."

"Wow," Gavin said, glancing over at Jamie and then back to me. "Okay.." he nodded slowly.

I figured this was going to take him a little bit to get use to, I just was hoping that it wouldn't take so long that he would be unfocused during the rest of the game. I patted him on the shoulder, leaving my hand there for a second.

"You ok now?"

Gavin just nodded in response to me. I nodded back and started to walk away. "Oh and uh.. Please don't say anything to anyone else, not yet," I said, looking back to him.

"Oh.. yeah right. Sure man," Gavin said, following me back towards the rest of the team.

"Listen we will talk more later. Lets try and focus on the game now, yeah?"

"K," was all he said as he sat back on his side of the room.

I sat back down next to Jamie and groaned softly, leaning back against the wall. "Well hes kind of in shock I think, but he knows its okay now."

"That’s good," Jamie sighed in a bit of relief. "Still dude, I feel ba-"

"Jamie.. please don't. I've seen a difference in you since this started, a good one, and I don't want you to start feeling bad now because of a small slip up. I honestly couldn't give a shit if the guys knew, honestly it would make it a lot easier if they did. If the media found out however, that would not be good."

Jamie looked over at me, a bit confused. "You would be ok with them all knowing?"

"Yeah why not? We are a family here, we work together, we are all apart of each others lives and we celebrate when someone finds something that makes them happy. Jamie I don't know if you are just oblivious, or trying to hide it from me and yourself... but I know you are falling for Brooke. I can tell dude."

"What?" Jamie's eyes went wide "No no.. no dude its- its not like-"

"Jamie I know what its like to fall for her, I know what it looks like and what it feels like. It's okay. I wouldn't expect anything less. She is an amazing person who means the absolute world to me, I can't imagine that I would be the only one to feel that if someone else got to spend as much time with her as I do, like you do."

"Tyler I-" Jamie sighed, looking down at the ground again, his jaw clenching.

"Hey," I put my hand on his shoulder, waiting for him to look at me. "I didn't say it was a bad thing or that it made me upset. I expected it, and I'm fine with it. Just know I came first," I laughed and patted his back a few times.

Jamie chuckled and nodded "Oh I know you are first in her world, anyone who isn't stupid can see that. You two are inseparable."

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah we are."

That statement was very much true. Ever since Brooke and I had met we had been that way. That was why when this whole thing with Jamie had started, she was terrified that she was going to lose me. I had to spend all night telling her otherwise, and explaining to her that this was something that was my idea.

This whole thing started because I wanted Jamie to feel less alone, and because I trusted both him and Brooke more than anyone in my life, besides my family. They were the two closest people to me in my life and I wanted it to stay that way. It wasn't something easy to explain to others, why I was okay with this, or why I was into watching my girlfriend have sex with someone else. It was just how it was.

Looking at mine and Brooke's relationship being just the two of us was amazing, always had been. There wasn't anything missing, there wasn't something one of us lacked from the other, everything was great. It just happened that adding Jamie to that, was a positive in my mind. Seeing my best friend happy, was something that made this make sense to me.

Jamie hadn't had the best relationships in the past, and to see him finally happy, and be able to turn his mood around after a loss, or whatever else was going on in his life, was something that Brooke could help him do. It didn't in any way negatively affect Brooke and my relationship at all, it actually enhanced it. It brought her and I closer together, and I fell even more in love with her, which I didn't think was even possible.

Watching her be able to make someone almost as happy as she makes me, was something that was special. It had gone from a kink of mine, allowing her to sleep with someone else I trusted, to watching something more form between them. I had known from the very start that this was what was going to happen, and that’s why I had suggested it. I wanted Jamie to be able to feel the same kind of love that I did, knowing that it was genuine and real. Knowing that she would never hurt him, which I couldn't promise from other girls. And I wanted Brooke to also feel doubly loved, never allowing her to second guess or doubt how loved she really is by both of us. To always feel secure in knowing that there are two guys who are always here for her, and love her no matter what.

Our relationship, this situation, it wasn't 'normal.' I didn't expect most people to understand, but they didn't have to. I knew how I felt about it, and I knew how Brooke and Jamie felt about it. It worked for us and to me, that was all that mattered. I knew that when the time was right, they would express to each other how they felt, and I would be here to explain all of this to them, and help to move the relationship of us three forward to where its meant to be.

[timeagainreviews]

Doctor Who and Video Games

We live in the era of the franchise. Everything it seems is getting the franchise treatment. After the success of the MCU, everyone wants that sweet sweet money. We’ve got the failed Universal Monsters reboot, the Harry Potter extended universe, and endless Star Wars movies. However, some franchises, it would seem, struggle to grow further than their core narrative. Star Wars never strays very far from the battle with the Empire. Which is one thing you can’t really say about Doctor Who. Doctor Who has done fantasy, sci-fi, period drama, schlocky horror, whimsy, and utter rubbish. I’ve always admired Doctor Who’s flexibility as a property. It lends itself beautifully to a wide range of mediums, such as audios and comic books. But what about video games? Are there any good Doctor Who video games? Could there be?

Over the past week, in preparation for this article, I've completely immersed myself in the world of Doctor Who video games. I feel uniquely qualified to have an opinion on the subject. But before we continue, I give a word of caution. I'm talking directly to you, now. Never in your life, should you ever play "Doctor Who: Return to Earth," for the Nintendo Wii. It's not worth the £1.80 that I spent on eBay. You don't ever deserve to do that to yourself. I don't care what you've done, nobody deserves that. If like myself, you have played this game, you have my deepest sympathies, especially if you paid for it new.

It doesn't interest me to make a list of the worst Doctor Who video games, as many people have done this already. It's nothing new to say that Doctor Who has a video game problem. When I wrote that Doctor Who should be run by Disney, I don't actually mean it should happen. I was merely illustrating that Disney knows how to take care of its properties. I would venture that Doctor Who has always had a bit of a management problem. Merchandise from Doctor Who has always reminded me of Krusty the Clown merchandise. So much of it is some bullshit they slapped a Dalek on said: "10 quid please!" Barring the occasional home run or third-party licensing, a lot of the merchandise is pretty uninspired. Which is bananas, because the world of Doctor Who has so much colour and potential.

Video games based off of movies and television are almost always as bad as movies and television based off of video games. They're rarely breaking the mould in their new medium. Most of the time, tie-ins such as these are quick soulless cash grabs. You can see this a lot in the Matt Smith era. There are at least seven games featuring his Doctor, and then a sudden decline. Matt Smith was the Doctor during one of the show's biggest points in popularity. Never before had the show been embraced on such an international level. Of course, the Beeb wanted to push as many video games out as possible.

The problem is, they didn't throw a lot of money at it, and not one project seemed to get the focus it deserved. I won't pretend to know the motivation behind the BBC's forays into video games, but it seems to be a trend with them to overdo something, and then be scared of it in the future. They changed the 5.5" figurine set to a 3.75" scale and nobody wanted them. Because of this, we haven't seen nearly as many 5.5" figures since. They once put out a figure of Lady Casandra's frame after she exploded into gore. We used to get figures like Pig Lazlo and the Gran from "The Idiot's Lantern." Now we'll be lucky if we get everyone's favourite- Graham O'Brien. They also did it with the Doctor Who Experience. They make this brilliant Doctor Who museum with the OK'est walkthrough story, and then put it right in the middle of Cardiff. They wondered why it never made any money. I've been twice, and I gotta say- they should have put it in London. It would still be open.

This isn't to say all of Matt Smith's video games are bad. In fact, the Eleventh Doctor adventure games referred to simply as "The Doctor Who Adventure Games," are some of my favourite in the entire lot. And as much as I would like to blame the BBC for their lack of caring, the fact is Doctor Who is not easy to translate into video games. Even if they do care, they still need the right team on the job. Oddly, it's one of the Doctor's greatest charms that makes Doctor Who hard to translate into a video game, and that's the Doctor's stance on violence. If the Doctor could pick up a laser pistol and just frag some Daleks, we'd probably have an entire series on our hands. Unfortunately, most developers go one of two ways. They either ignore the pacifism or we get countless mind-numbing puzzles.

Puzzles are by far the worst element of any Doctor Who game. In the browser-based "Worlds in Time," there were a plethora of Bejewelled type mini-games and pipe matching puzzles. The puzzles got increasingly harder even if the player wasn't also getting increasingly better. Even the platformer "The Eternity Clock," was mired in constantly stopping to do puzzles. They pop up in the Adventure Games, but other than the infuriating "don't touch the sides," puzzles, they don't detract much from the gameplay. There were moments where I felt a bit like a companion because I was decoding a Dalek computer for the Doctor, which is really the money spot for a Doctor Who video game. Any time a Doctor Who game can make you feel like you're in Doctor Who is time well spent.

When asking my friends what kind of Doctor Who video game they would like to see, many of them mentioned they would like a survival horror type game. We sort of get this in many of the Smith era games. In "Return to Earth," the mechanic is sloppy and infuriating at best. In "The Eternity Clock," and the Adventure Games, it's a little more manageable. It's a nice way to add a challenge to a non-violent gameplay style. It would be interesting to see what a game team from something like "Thief," or "Resident Evil," might do with the sneaking aspect.

Another way the games have completely side-stepped the non-violence and puzzles is by having the Doctor act as a secondary character. The player is put in the position of the companion or perhaps a UNIT soldier as in the case of "Destiny of the Doctors." If you've not played DotD, I wouldn't blame you. I was hitting my head against the wall just trying to figure out what to do. The only real reason to play that game is for one last chance to see the fabulous Anthony Ainley reprise the role of the Master. He's in totally smarmy ham mode, even if it's a bunch of gibberish they shot in a day. You can find the entirety of the footage on YouTube and it's surreal.

The problem with having the Doctor be violent is that it doesn't feel true to the character. Sure, Three did some Venusian aikido, Four broke that dude's neck in "Seeds of Doom," and even Twelve socked a racist in the face, but these are isolated incidents. The spirit of the Doctor is lost in 1992's "Dalek Attack," when the Doctor is forced to go full on bullet hell on a Dalek hover cart. It's funny then that one of my favourite Doctor Who games incorporates a violent Doctor. In the Doctor Who level of "Lego Dimensions," the Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver to make villains fall apart in a very safe Lego style violence. I can excuse this mostly because the game is not primarily a Doctor Who game at heart.

Funnily enough, the Lego game does something I've always wanted in a Doctor Who video game. I've always wanted to have a Doctor Who game where you could regenerate into different Doctors, and also go into their respective TARDISes. Sure, some of the games on the Commodore 64 allowed you to regenerate, but it was pretty naff in its execution. I tell no lies when I say I spent a lot of time regenerating and reentering the TARDIS to explore the Lego versions of their respective console rooms. Really, the biggest problem with the Lego Doctor Who game is that it wasn't it's own game. Lego Dimensions was its own failure. If TT Games would come out with an entire Doctor Who game, I would buy it yesterday.

The overarching problem with every Doctor Who game is the same problem Torchwood had- if it wasn't attached to Doctor Who, we wouldn't be interested. While I did have a lot of fun with the Adventure Games and Lego Dimensions, not one Doctor Who game has every element right. One has a good story, but poor mechanics, another has great mechanics but doesn't feel right. It's a bit of a tight rope to find the perfect balance, but I don't feel it's impossible

One of the reasons I would love to see a proper Lego Doctor Who game is that they have a history of good adaptations. They're not exactly beloved games, but I myself play a lot of them. One of the most impressive things I've seen them do was in Lego Batman 3, where they made each of the planets in the Green Lantern mythos a visitable world. Could you imagine the same treatment for Doctor Who? Visiting Telos and Skaro, and then popping off to medieval earth or Gallifrey? You could get different missions depending on which Doctor you were, or what time you arrive in. And the collectable characters! So many companions, and Doctors, and baddies, and costume variations to unlock! Doesn't that sound nice? You can buddy Jamie and Amy with Seven and Twelve and have an all Scottish TARDIS! A Zygon could ride K9!

The fact is, we probably won't see a very expansive Doctor Who game. I would be very enthusiastic for an open world Doctor Who game, but even as I type it, it sounds difficult to pull off. I may be able to say what doesn't work about the games, but saying what would work is admittedly, not as simple, but this doesn't mean I can't think of at least one good game. Piecing together some of the things I mentioned earlier, I think the best genre for Doctor Who is point-and-click adventures. I know I keep singing the praises of the Doctor Who Adventure Games, but it's because I think they were actually onto something. It's sad then that they scrapped any further developments to work on the inferior "Eternity Clock."

Could you imagine a point and click Doctor Who in the same vein as "Day of the Tentacle," or "Thimbleweed Park"? You walk around as the Doctor, pick up bits, talk to funny characters and solve complex problems. If you throw in a bit of horror survival, you've basically got the Adventure Games, which is my point- Do more with what they've already done. Grow the concepts. Improve the mechanics. A Doctor Who game should be jammed packed with Easter eggs, unlockables, and mystery. The point is, do more. Even their phone apps are abysmal. You know how much I would play a “Pokémon Go,” style Doctor Who game? You go around trapping baddies in cages you set off with your sonic screwdriver or something. I. Would. Catch. Them. All.

We still have “The Edge of Time,” coming to PC and consoles in October, and I'm pensively excited. While the graphics seem really top notch, in no way does it feel like anything more than a fun little VR experience. The game is going to remain exclusive to that small subsection of gamers that own a VR headset. Before it has even been released, it's closed itself off to yet another section of its very wide audience. Let's just hope that it doesn't scare the BBC away from making a proper Doctor Who game in the near future. And in the meantime, I'm going to have to borrow my friends' VR set, because of course, I'm going to play it. It's Doctor Who.

Well friends, thanks for reading! I had a lot of fun “researching,” this article. Playing Doctor Who games all week? Oh no, twist my arm! Sadly, a lot of these games are no longer available from their original sources. I was able to find a lot of them on the Internet Archive. If you want to give them a go, I would definitely suggest it. A couple of them are even capable of being emulated on your browser from the Internet Archive. The game I had the hardest time locating was “The Gunpowder Plot,” but I was eventually able to find it after some digging. I didn’t play any of the text-based games because I’m not very good with spatial awareness, and so text-based games are usually a nightmare for me. Sadly, Worlds in Time is lost forever, but I remember my character fondly. I also discovered I’m pretty good at Top Trumps: Doctor Who. Go figure.

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 39

Spoilers, obv.

And we collapse forward on the keyboard and twitch a while. This has been nightmarishly hard. I suspect the last arc will be hard (as nothing in WicDiv is easy) but the things we were juggling here were something else.

Before we dive in, some top-level thinking. The advantage of the way WicDiv is constructed is that we know what we're doing. A friend was just rereading the first arc, and noted how certain elements and approaches simply changed as the tone of the book solidified – while also noting that every direction we did take was there from the off. We knew the What We Were Doing but not always the specific How.

(Not least, as I was a hot mess in 2014. I'm amazed the WicDiv scripts weren't just bahsjasjfaglagsfk.)

But the problem with knowing the direction of the book is you're tied to ideas you may wish you hadn't put in play. Because a five year book is enough time to change significantly in what you consider a good idea or not – and even if you still think it's a good idea in the abstract, it doesn't mean it's an idea you would necessarily want to do any more.

At this point, there's various things flying around. Firstly, Laura has rejected her godhood. That's great. That's clearly the arc of the book. Secondly, Ananke is running her own eternal scheme with its eternal rules. I don't think it's a spoiler to say that Ananke (and I'm using “Ananke” for “Ananke and Minerva” here) is significantly deceiving people on some key matters, and using the holes in their knowledge to her advantage. At this point in the story the same thing happens to her. We see that her own perception is also incomplete.

So – what's the thing she's missing?

I fell upon Maiden/Mother/Crone as a structure to create a relationship between Ananke/Persephone/Minerva. What action would Ananke buy?

It has to be archetypal and mythic. Cheaty postmodernism doesn't work. Myth is brutal and basic and ugly and wrong.

So – if the Mother archetype has a child, Ananke's doomed forever. It breaks the little eternal circle and Ananke thinks herself trapped in that sensory void forever.

There's nothing in the above specifically and individually which worries me too much. It's how they intersect with the rest of the plot, and how we can chart a line between them all without saying anything we don't want to say, or without causing undue emotional distress in a way we're uncomfortable with.

We end up with our solution, which is merely our best solution, which means it's far from perfect. We do as much as we can, and try and touch on stuff as gently as we can to avoid any fair misreading of the story. Even so, there's resonances in there I dislike.

There's a sentence that is said all the time in writing room situations: “This is the bad version.” It's said when people are brainstorming, and asking the audience to know this isn't good, but they are good enough writers to make it better – it's just a structure of the sort of things that the narrative could delineate.

It's easy to imagine The Bad Version of this plot. Laura finding out she has to have a kid to save the world! Baal and Baphomet fighting over who's the father! An issue cliffhanger where you think Laura's own choice has doomed the world! I shudder. Like, someone with a different aesthetic to me would have done all of the above.

Instead, what we try to do is what we have to do to make the story work, and do it in the safest way possible. It's the guiding aesthetic of most of this issue, in terms of separating the two key threads – namely not confusing Laura's choice to have an abortion and Laura's choice to reject godhood.

But still – I spent four years trying to think of something that Ananke would buy, based on our implicit story, which wasn't this, and failed. I'd rather not have gone this way. I'm happy with the issue, but it was a heartbreaking amount of work as I take all of this intensely seriously.

So, to return to the opening, the problem with being as structured as WicDiv is means that you are tied to decisions you made years ago, without which the story simply breaks.

DIE (aka Project Spangly New Thing) rejects this kind of plotting. It's just as messy emotionally as WicDiv (hell, even more so) but leaves the characters a lot more narrative freedom. I'd have done it anyway (because I hate to repeat myself) but the experience on arcs like this certainly feeds into it.

Anyway – I'll be talking some specifics in this as we go through, as I suspect it may be useful for people thinking about the impact of choices.

Jamie's Cover: Ananke in her cavewoman chic. That means 2 “persephone”, 2 “minerva” and 2 “Ananke” covers for this arc. The symmetry seems fun.

Phil Jimenez's Cover: I first saw Phil's work in his pop-thrill issues of The Invisibles, an obviously influential work on yours truly. We worked together on Angela: Asgard's Assassin together, which was a thrill, and this glam-metal take on her. He's also very lovely. As such, Minerva in full-on catwalk mode is a great take. I love these kind of maximalist high-thrill ones. And LIZ's ‘When I rule the world’ has just come on my WicDiv shuffle at this point, which seems appropriate for Minerva stomping down a lightning-catwalk. Also, Dee Cunniffe (who has flatted nearly all of WicDiv) provides colours. Nice work, Dee.

Page 1-2

Black spaces. Like the opening of the arc – C's idea, I believe. Also, ensuring we get our page turns right. We dropped the recap for once. Normally we'd drop it in the mid-point of the issue instead of the first interstitial, but it would have broken the space.

Obviously mirroring the start of this arc.

The first obvious bit of delineation: this is ten days after the end of last issue. Laura stopped being Persephone 10 days ago. As such, anything that happens now is not connected to that.

The biggest reading we wanted to avoid: “Laura's abortion is the ritual by which she rejects and escapes the Persephone-Mother archetype”. Especially if people, either pro or anti choice, could make an argument we're saying we're saying the act is human sacrifice – a reading which seems especially possible in a story that already has human sacrifice in it.

Page 3-4-5-6

Reestablishing what folks have been up to in the gap – in short, bits and pieces, bits of information the characters should exchange, etc.

The Cass/Woden dialogue is stuff I'd have liked to get into issue 33, but was cut due to space and focus. It was Mimir's scene, and as he's been silent for the whole book, he gets to speak. The “He stole my life/I stole his” was all that was required. This is detail. Interesting detail, but detail. And, yes, loaded.

There's a lot of “starting other stuff” in this sequence – clearly the “ritual” is going to be important next arc.

I love what Jamie is doing quietly with Mimir and the boxes at the back of the room on page 4. Like, I wonder what's in each of those boxes, right? There's some horrible pure objectification here. Like, Pokémon. Got to catch them all.

You can tell that Woden is more chill with Minerva, right?

It was originally written with Minerva noting that mind-controlled-sex-is-rape at the end of page 4. That felt frankly aggressive, as if we were using it as a punchline. Instead, we soften it, and move it mid-panel, which changes the feeling around it, hopefully.

On page 6, I really like the “Hmm. You're learning.” It still makes me laugh.

Making the gun's controls REALLY VISUALLY OBVIOUS is not exactly subtle, but 100% needed to make sure the scene make sense.

Page 7-8-9

With a month gap between issues, it's possible that the reader may not have noticed that we've changed the issue structure from the rest of this arc. It's not “past stuff then present stuff” like the others. It's at least one reason why we didn't give a preview – that and that the first pages of the issue are entirely non-characteristic in terms of where the issue goes.

Anyway – first page is a pure repeat from issue 34, so a free page. This issue is a little longer than normal, due to normal cheats. It's actually 20 new pages long... plus one new panel.

Page 8 is very peak Jamie, plus Matt, for a certain mode. I never get bored of seeing what they do with blood together. Ananke's expression in panel 4 is just particularly well chosen. This isn't how Minerva feels last issue – that's after thousands of years of dwelling on it. This is first exposure. You don't go straight to AGRGRHRHRHRHH.

And back to the still angle on the third panel. Like, the static nature of these seems important in terms of mood.

I really hope Ananke isn't licking that knife.

Page 10

I spent the best part of a day trying to work out what to name this interstitial, after naming it a few things previously. That we end up with a very limited Bowie nod says everything. Anything else seemed to create resonances we were trying to avoid. Once more, the aim is to separate the two decisions from Laura as much as possible.

Page 11

I know drawing London kills Jamie, but I'll miss seeing stuff like this monthly when it's gone.

We don't know Laura's walked out of a clinic for a few pages, but it was important to just give her space here.

Researching locations in London, in terms of placing the events, the timing, what would be available, and Laura's condition after an abortion and trying to find a way to be sensitive to all of that as a writer. Ideally, I was looking for an option around Highbury & Islington, as I always prefer to reuse settings. In practise, this was best.

Page 12

I basically described Beth's crew as Valkyrie-plusses. As in, the mini-bosses in a videogame. Elite models for a basic troop type.

Toni pushes to the front, as he's always been the most talkative of the Other Two. Writing this I realised who he is here – he's basically “Imagine Marvel Boy, if Marvel Boy was a total idiotic dipshit.”

(Instead of the “mostly idiotic dipshit” he was in YA. Love you, Noh-Varr! KISSY FACE.)

I believe Jamie laughed at this a fair bit.

Page 13-14

I considered various captions for Laura here, but no matter what they did, they blurred the line between her abortion and her abandoned godhood. As such, the relative silence was considered more effective.

13-14-15-16

A lot is packed into this space. In an ideal world, I'd like another page for it, to extend Beth's choice to shoot or not, but it's all there.

Key delineations here: obvious restatement of the 10 days since she's been a god, to ensure it's clear. “Panel 3”; Beth never knowing (nor caring) where Laura has just been; Robin actually being human; Laura's privacy being respected; the “I've got more imminent problems” to separate her being shot from this; most importantly, Laura never knowing that this decision was important to Minerva, and never letting Minerva's mistaken beliefs impact her decision. Laura' abortion is her choice and doesn't need a bunch of mythic stuff attached to it for her.

The “shame” line resonates with another, more optimistic, line on the first page of Young Avengers. This speaks to the books, and the choices and the attached psychology.

Page 17

Oddly, the “no cameras in the bathroom” information we've set up allows this scene. Minerva isn't someone who would vocalise much if someone could have hear. You can imagine her looking in each booth to see if someone's around. I did consider moving to captions for a page, but Minerva getting captions for this one event seemed aesthetically off.

Page 18

Self-evident interstitial, and so long a bit of text I can hear designers wincing.

Page 19-20

Earliest scene so far in WicDiv. I did consider having it set after the murder, with the grandson coming back to hear her last words, but the “alive-dead-alive-dead-alive-dead” was getting a bit silly. A quietly magical breakfast conversation seemed the way to go.

I think the bleakest and darkly funniest thing in the issue is the “Eventually, we'll learn. It may take a thousand years, but someone will figure it out.” Oh, you total optimist, you.

I do like the mood of the colouring for this.

Okay – the key structural bit for safety-proofing this plot? The absolute minimisation of the gap between discovering the fourth rule, discovering Laura has had an abortion and then discovering that the fourth rule is just a lie. The longer it hangs, the more it is letting people live with an idea we find reprehensible. The thing I knew when starting this arc is all of this had to happen inside the same issue – the problem there being, that it also had to be foreshadowed enough to not come out of nowhere. And if you foreshadow too heavily, it's as same as saying “this is where it's going”.

Anyway – that wrapped up, we move towards the end...

Page 21-22-23-24-25

The continuation of last issue's end. Laura and her captions.

Some perfect McKelvie expressions, and some key beats. Like, this also adds shade to last issue – I forget if I mentioned that one of the key beats of the series (Laura rejecting her godhood) being dramatised by her swapping a SIM card seems absolutely key to where we are.

Two key expressions – the glance to camera with “I'm not a god” and “So what? So do you.” I could marry Jamie for these.

Matt working the blacks and the ochres here is fascinating.

Thought experiment: originally the layout on page 21 had two captions in panel 3 and two in panel 4. I moved the first from panel 4 to panel 3. Why? A single caption always has more weight in a given space. Having two in each was effectively giving no extra weight to any individual caption. Instead, three in one makes that the conversational beat and the one over the spiral-staircase means the latter just hangs there.

(In short: less dialogue/caption in any space makes the line more important. SPACE=MEANING is what I've been saying all along, usually with panel size. As in, “bigger panels read as more important.” But the same sort of thinking applies to lettering in terms of the space it is allowed to “control.”)

End of page 21 – a final restating of the two events being separate. Laura choosing to have an abortion is something she decided when starting to put her life back together. It's not a cause of her stopping being a god – if anything, it's something that's resulted from her new state of mind.

Lots in terms of mode in 22, but I love how Jamie has handled the nudity in the second panel. As in, she's a girl changing for bed, but she's never presented as something to be objectified, to looked at. Laura is always someone we're meant to be. We are meant to inhabit her, and her us.

The panel at the start of 23 is the extra panel we squeezed in. One panel for this amount of extra material, leading to the better reveal seemed a good choice.

Did I mention I lost a line I really liked last issue? The “At long last, I know what I'm not” was originally “I know what I am/and I know what I'm not.” Which is pretty and elegant, but also confusing with this ending – the “what I am” is “not a god” and what I'm not” is “a god”. Prettiness only goes so far, especially as it's not as if Laura's going to stop and explain that.

Lots of key bits of dialogue in these pages, obviously. “I distrust anyone who tells me who I am. Especially if I agree” and all that.

Obviously in storytelling choices, this is reprising, in an inverted way, the end of The Faust Act. Instead of a flash of light, fading into darkness, darkness emerging from light. Also, really strong choice of expression in that final panel.

26

Referencing ‘Dancing In the Dark’. Springsteen's is obviously great, but I'm thinking of the Downtown Boys' cover which is much closer to where WicDiv is coming from.

I choke up at all this scene. Been a long way to get here, Laura. Onwards.

The trade collection for Mothering Invention is out in October. We have two Specials before next arc, WicDiv: 1373 (out at the end of September) and WicDiv: The Funnies (out in November.)

We're then back in December, where we begin our final arc.

It's called – “Okay”. Including the quotation marks. Yes, we're going out on another Bowie reference.

Thanks for reading.

[thebrochtuarachs]

To Begin Again: Chapter 4

Jamie passes through the stones on Beltane to 1968.

A/N: I honestly had a hard time figuring out what kind of path I will lead Jamie and Bree to meet in this scenario. Hopefully, what I wrote is fine :) I'm excited to explore where these characters want to go after this! :) Hope you like the new chapter! As always, comments and suggestions are always welcome.

CH: 1 - 2 - 3 AO3

As his daughter walked closer to them, her stride reminded him of a memory from the day after he let them go.

Snow fell over the Culloden Moor in a dark and bloody evening and Jamie Fraser stirred awake. He was alive – barely, he thought. He looked around the battlefield and saw the hundreds of lives lost in this hopeless cause, he wept for the souls whose destiny lied in this war. He closed his eyes and willed death to come and take him too.

But it wouldn’t come. As hours went by and Jamie was well aware of his apparent, life. Still, he was weak and wounded and could not get up even if he tried to, and now, it was a waiting game of who will come first – death by the cold or someone rescuing him.  He looked around and saw no soul in sight, and then he saw a vision of his wife, Claire, walking towards him.

Could she have returned to him? Could she have come back and waited for the aftermath of the battle? Could she have, yet again, disobeyed my orders to return to safety for the sake of our child for me?

His heart swelled and hoped, but as soon as she was close enough to touch and he reached for her, she was gone. He can almost believe she was real but when Rupert’s face came into view, the dream was gone. He, then, felt so much pain, crushing pain - not from his wound, but from his broken heart and he wanted nothing else but to die in the knowledge that the sacrifice of the loves of his life was not in vain. He closed his eyes to surrender to death, again, but his clansmen wouldn’t give up on him that easily.

Next thing he knew, in a string of luck (good or bad, he still couldn’t decide), he was on a wagon back to Lallybroch, Jenny pouring scalding hot water on his wound and then his life in isolation in the cave began.

The pain from the memory resurfaced but his feelings quickly changed when he saw her. He decided that it was all in his goodluck to have lived and now, to be in this time. Red hair, blue eyes, with ruddy curls, he couldn’t deny that the beautiful lass is his – his and Claire’s – a product of their love, the idea striking Jamie to the core. Everything they did, everything they’d done, everything they’ve been through, it was all worth it. She was here, alive and safe, and Jamie would endure everything again for her.

“I felt the same way the first time I saw her” Claire whispered as she stood to get up, Jamie following after.

“She’s beautiful, Claire.” Jamie said in wonder. Tears were in danger of falling but he immediately wiped them away, not wanting his daughter’s first memory of him to be crying.

“She’s ours.” She replied as she slipped her arm around his waist and pulled his side close to her hip. Jamie, on the other hand, was completely transfixed by their child. As her words sank into him, Claire could feel him trembling with anticipation. He was nervous and suddenly, so was she. This was a moment she never thought would happen and no one can prepare any of them on how to approach this. But here they were and there was no stopping it.

Jamie put his arm around Claire and looked at her. “What did you name her?”

“Brianna. Brianna Ellen” Claire and Jamie turned to find Bree standing a couple of feet from them, directly facing both her parents waiting for someone to continue the conversation.

“Named after your father, just as I promised. I added your mother’s name because, well, just look at her, you said it yourself, she looks just like her.” Claire said to Jamie. “Besides, those names belong together, I thought I’d honor them both and you by naming our child as such”.

Brianna felt a momentary lapse hearing and being referred to as “our child”. The child they both prayed for, the child they both wanted, the child they loved enough to let each other go. Bree tried to mask her emotions by nodding to the brand new information offered. “I didn’t know that.” Bree said, deciding that she’d ask stories of them later.

Jamie, on the other hand, still stood transfixed and dumbstruck by the presence of his daughter.

Another silence fell and the only sound were from crickets and the wind. “Jamie?” Claire tugged at him.

“Hello?” Brianna waved a hand in front of Jamie’s face to bring him back from his reverie. Whatever nervousness Bree felt or should feel, was gone and was replaced with a feeling of charm, humor and tenderness by her father’s reaction to her.

“Ah, dhia!” Jamie softly sighed. He leaned to Claire, in both support and nervousness. “I’m sorry, a nighean”

“You’re James Fraser, aren’t you?” Bree awkwardly asked– maybe she was a little nervous after all.

“Aye” He awkwardly replied back.

“I’m – I’m your daughter. I’m sure you can tell.” Bree tried to sound casual with a tentative smile played on her lips.

“Aye. Aye, I can” Jamie shuffled his feet, unable to say anything else. “My god, you’re huge!” a blushed crept over him as the words came flying out, thank God it was dark and none of his lasses saw how red he went.

Both women laughed. “And whose fault is that, do you think?” Bree retorted.

“Och no, lass. I didna mean it that way. Tis only, I hadna thought of you as grown. I had ye in my mind somehow as a wee bairn always – as my babe. I never expected…” words faltered as he raised his hand to lightly trace her features in the air. “May I?” Jamie asked and Brianna nodded. He released his hold on Claire and boldly stepped closer to Bree.

“Brianna” Jamie said as he tucked a stray hair behind her ear. It was different the way he said it. Breeanah, that Scottish burr so pronounced. “Beautiful” he followed as he continued to trace her cheek and down to her jaw. Unexpectedly, Bree leaned into Jamie’s hand, feeling the warmth and heat in his skin, surprising herself that she couldn’t pull away from his touch if she tried - not yet,  as if her brain whispered itself to command.

A sniffle from Claire caused them to turn. Tears were freely flowing from her eyes and her face has the most brilliant smile they’d ever seen. “Don’t mind me” she said, noticing both of their stares. “I’m just…happy.” They looked at her earnestly as she wiped her face to no avail as more tears fell. “This – This is all I wanted” Claire gestured with her hands, pointing to them, pointing everywhere while she was in the highest of cloud nines.

Bree looked at Jamie and understood what they needed to do. Bree went to her mom and gave her the tightest of hugs. Jamie crept behind Claire and gathered both of his girls in an engulfing hug. Claire, on the other hand, just held on and let it all out.  – and in that moment, all was good and all was well.

-

Roger is driving back to the stones after making the anonymous tip of the crime to the police. He wonders what kind of story will be published on this “murder”, especially, when the killer, as a fact, will never be found. Would this be one of those unsolved murder mysteries you hear about in years to come with a lot of people having their own take of the story? It could be, considering the bizarreness of the situation but deep down, only 3 people will actually know the truth.

As a historian, this is the best research-slash-adventure he’s ever been and will ever have. Unexpected as his guests are, he strangely didn’t find their story too weird or unbelievable. Maybe growing up listening to Mrs. Graham’s stories as a lad did have its perks.

Traveling back in time to actually witness history take place is every historian’s dream and now he is in the presence of one that can actually tell the truth – not assumption – truth of what really happened then. He immediately thought of Frank Randall and how much he has missed in his research if only he believed his wife’s story. How much his work would’ve meant more if he had those juicy details, stories or evidences, you cannot find and no one knows except his “time-traveling” wife. What an opportunity he missed because of his pride, probably jealousy and heartbreak.

He’s yet to tell Claire that he’s actually, probably, found James Fraser to be alive. He and Bree have been spending sometime in the Reverend’s attic and found the research he’d supposedly sent to Frank Randall many years ago. It mentioned of a Fraser officer surviving execution from the English army after the battle. Five Fraser officers are recorded in the books, four names are memorialized on a plaque in a church in Beauly, the fifth name left out, Roger was pretty sure, is Jamie’s.

Roger can’t wait to tell Claire. He hopes that the news will, of course, make her happy and lessen the tension between her and Bree.

As he pulls the car to a stop and shuts down the engine, he begins the climb up the hill to look for his guests. The buzzing was still there but it was fainter now than when they arrived. The sun was rising but the color of the sky remained a magnificent shade of blue and violet that left the rest of the scenery a shadow still in the dark.

Arriving at the top, he saw Bree and Claire wrapped in the arms of a 6’3 giant of man. As far as Roger knows, there’s only one giant man allowed to hold them both like that and he is supposed to be in the 18thcentury.

Could he be? Could he have come through? What perfect timing! Roger thought.

Jamie saw him approach and quickly, he moved from Claire’s back to Bree's Front.

“Who are ye?” he calmly called but the undertone of protection was still apparent. Cause my family harm, I will not hesitate to dismember you.

Before Roger could speak, Claire intervened. “Jamie, this is Roger Wakefield. He’s the reverend’s son and we’ve been staying with him in his manse as his guests.” Roger extended a hand to Jamie and thankfully, he took it.

“Speaking of which, maybe we should all head back to house before the police shows up?” Bree suggested and off they walked down the hill.

Roger went down first, Brianna accompanying him. Claire laced Jamie’s hand on hers and asked “Ready?”

Jamie took a deep breath, looked at the tall stone and tried not to look back at what he’s leaving behind. He’s got Claire and his child now, everything he’ll figure out later.

“Aye, let’s go”

[hoogiehowser]

MEDIA DIARY JANUARY

:::::::::: MOVIES ::::::::::

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) I liked this so much I ended up seeing it twice. The animation is on a whole different level from everything else in theaters I just can’t believe it. Nothing has immediately endeared me to a character more that when Miles gets to the place where he’s going to put up graffiti and yells “BROOKLYN!” to get the echo. Absolutely perfect. 

Happy Death Day (2017) The trailer looked good but the trailer for the sequel looked even better. Good time repeating movie. Way better than Blood Punch. I’m excited to see more of this.

Alien: Covenant (2017) Had no clue what to expect going in but I actually dug it. It’s just Alien again like every Alien movie but what they do with David from Prometheus makes it really interesting. There’s also some straight up slasher movie sleaze that definitely appeals to me.

MacGruber (2010) It’s just a bunch of dick jokes while a bad action movie happens. There’s no clever spin to it.

Better Luck Tomorrow (2002) Wanted to watch this due to the Fast & Furious connection. It’s a great movie about overachievers and getting away with shit. I think Justin Lin is a great director and his unique voice benefits every movie he does.

Collateral (2004) I didn’t realize until the credits that this was a Michael Mann movie but it was so obvious in hindsight. The premise is simple, Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx are great, and everything comes together in a genuinely cool film.

Wilson (2017) Based on a comic I don’t particularly like from Dan Clowes’ grumpy old man phase. The cool thing about the comic is that each page works on its own and has a different art style. The movie can’t do that. But it’s still faithful to the book which means it feels like a series of one page gags strung together until it finishes. Woody and Laura Dern are great though and it is pretty funny at times.

Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare (2018) There was another truth or dare based horror movie a year before that was a Syfy original. The Syfy one is better. The problem with them both is the supernatural contrivances that make people play truth or dare against their will. It’s such a strained premise.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017) Guy Ritchie made a King Arthur movie and it feels exactly like you’d expect. 

Thoroughbreds (2017) Girl who can’t feel emotions befriends girl who is very politely hiding her extreme emotions. Things get bad when they start to think about murder. Anton Yelchin plays a druggie scumbag loser. It’s such a good movie. 100% my kind of thing.

:::::::::: TV ::::::::::

The Great British Baking Show (Beginnings, Collections 1-4) Got addicted to this one. I love cooking competitions shows and pleasant ones are usually the best. I like seeing competitors that like each other. I like Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry not trying to tear people down. I love Mel and Sue. It’s just a nice show for the nice people.

Toei Spider-Man (Episodes 1-5) I’m not a big toku guy but Spider-Verse got me curious about various Spider-Men. Takuya Yamashiro wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider, he was injected with blood from the last survivor of Planet Spider and carries out a mission against Professor Monster’s Iron Cross Army to avenge Planet Spider and his own father. Next to nothing present from the classic Lee/Ditko Spider-Man and that’s totally alright. I’m going to try to watch more because the episode where Spider-Man has to donate his blood to hurt child has some serious heart.

The Prisoner (Episodes 7-17) I started watching this a while ago but only now got around to finishing. Mostly super clever plots and the atmosphere is always great. Patrick McGoohan sells it every single time. Some of the later episodes go really off the rails though. There’s an entire wild west episode. Nothing in this stretch tops my favorite episode, The Schizoid Man, where Number Two brainwashes Number Six to act differently and then forces Number Six to pretend to be Number Six while a different man is already pretending to be Number Six. The ending is solid though and carries a really good tv series to a confusing, surreal end.

Cutthroat Kitchen (Season 7, Episodes 1-7) Polar opposite of The Great British Baking Show. It’s the Mario Kart of cooking competition shows. Everyone tries to fuck each other over and Alton laughs at them the entire time. It’s brilliant.

:::::::::: PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING ::::::::::

TJPW Tokyo Joshi Pro ‘19 (January 4) I don’t follow TJPW and don’t know any of their wrestlers besides Meiko Satomura but I watched this because it was on before Wrestle Kingdom. Meiko vs Reika Saiki definitely made the show worth watching and the rest was pretty alright. Lots of fun, new personalities that I like.

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 13 (January 4) Probably the most I’ve looked forward to a show and it absolutely delivered. For the past few years I’d watch WK and recommended matches but in in July I started following everything NJPW. That added investment made this WK special. Ibushi/Ospreay tore it up and I really hope Ibushi recovers soon. Jay White/Okada shocked me. Naito/Jericho was fucking brutal. And Kenny Omega vs Hiroshi Tanahashi was a match I was so invested in that I thought I was going to cry. If you haven’t checked out New Japan yet this show would make an excellent start. GO ACE!

Impact Homecoming (January 6) Impact has gotten pretty good. I’ve only seen a few of their most recent ppvs but it’s obvious that they have a wealth of talent and they’re willing to tell the kind of dumb stories that I really like. Since Homecoming was in Nashville I went and it was one of the best shows I’ve been to. The energy was insane all night and LAX vs Lucha Bros has to be the best match I’ve seen live. Now that they air on Twitch I’ve been following the weekly show and enjoying it quite a bit.

WWE Royal Rumble (January 27) I always love the rumble but the rumble was weird. Both rumble matches were okay but filled with dumb stuff and way too many recovery spots that were immediately deflated by the person getting eliminated. I like the winners. AJ/Daniel didn’t deliver like I wanted. Sasha and Ronda had a good match. I loved how Finn Balor worked Brock Lesnar’s diverticulitis. Fun show.

NXT UK Takeover Blackpool (January 12) NXT UK doesn’t really grip me aside from the women’s division. I liked this well enough but nothing really changed my mind. Finn Balor made a surprise appearance and he looked like such a star compared to everyone else. Excited to see what WALTER can do here though.

GCW 400 Degreez (January 12) GCW’s brand of hardcore indie nonsense is my absolute favorite. 400 Degreez isn’t the best they’ve done but it was full of disgusting beautiful deathmatch bullshit. Markus Crane vs Nate Webb especially.

NXT Takeover Phoenix (January 26) Takeover always delivers. Johnny Gargano vs Ricochet was definitely the match of the night. I don’t dig the War Raiders schtick but their match was great. Bianca Belair and Shayna Baszler also killed it.

:::::::::: COMICS ::::::::::

One Piece by Eiichiro Oda (Volumes 1-10) I wanted something long to start reading so why not One Piece? Enjoying it so far. I like getting the crew together and Usopp’s story in particular is great. Oda is a master cartoonist. I love every time we get reaction faces.

Spider-Man: Fever by Brendan McCarthy Spider-Man fever got me wanting to revisit Spider-Man: Fever because I remember liking it. I still like it. Doctor Strange accidentally opens a doorway into a spider dimension and Spider-Man gets caught in Doctor Strange’s bathtub and the alternate dimension spiders take him. All this and McCarthy’s art make Fever pretty far out. 

Spider-Man 2099 by Peter David, Kelley Jones, and Rick Leonardi (1-15) Miguel O’Hara wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider, he had Peter Parker’s DNA put into him by weird future DNA machine and he wages war against the gigantic corporations that control everything. I like Spider-Man 2099. Miguel is so different from the Peter Parker archetype and he’s got claws and fangs. He’s brutal. It’s got a neat post-hero future kind of like Batman Beyond. I stopped reading because the next part is a crossover with Punisher 2099, Ravage 2099, Doom 2099, and X-Men 2099. I’ll hopefully pick it back up because I want to know what happens with the hologram that’s in love with Miguel. 

Spider-Man by Kazumasa Hirai & Ryoichi Ikegami Yu Komori was bitten by a radioactive spider and he definitely wishes he wasn’t. It starts off a lot like our usual Spider-Man but the villains are so much more tragic and Yu deals with some heavy shit. Ikegami’s art evolves from cartoony to serious as the tone of the book changes. He’s a really incredible artist who is consistently pulling neat tricks and trying new things. I really liked this and it may top my favorite Spider-Man comics. It’s just so bleak and unforgiving to poor Yu. By the way, the final plotline is exactly the same as the Sonny Chiba movie Wolf Guy. Turns out the comic that movie was based on was written by the same guy that write Spider-Man. An odd find.

:::::::::: VIDEOGAMES ::::::::::

Axiom Verge Had my eye on this for a long time and finally picked it up on sale on my Switch. It’s okay. There are a lot of clever ideas here that I don’t think work for me. But I do like the decorrupter and the teleport. Some of the movement feels great but some stuff like the grappling hook feels awful. I hate the story. Completely incoherent sci-fi nonsense. But it’s a fun game and I enjoyed my time with it.

Hollow Knight I’ve spent about 30 hours on this game and I feel like I’m close to the end of the story. I absolutely love it. The movement, the combat, and the exploration all feel excellent. I’ve played over ten metroidvanias in the past year (I really like them) and this might be the best. My favorite part about them is how you’re almost never wasting time because there are new secrets to discover all across the map and Hollow Knight does such a good job with that.