#its giving the BANG BANG BANG animation meme

[artisticxlly]

No joke this clip is making me consider Kuroshou

[millennialgirlinagenzworld]

Underneath The Tree

Natalie and Declan have been friends for a couple of years, now – ever since Natalie moved into the building and refused to let anyone help her with her luggage.

She loves living in the capital, being independent, and having an active social life. She hasn`t had a steady boyfriend in years but loves swiping right on all the wrong men…

Declan doesn`t ever talk about his love-life, but he has always had a soft-spot for her. He hasn`t ever brought it up with her for fear of losing their friendship…

But a white-lie to her parents means that Natalie has suggested that she has a boyfriend, and Declan knows exactly who could pretend to be that man… Could a weekend at her home village pretending to be together for a mini pre-Christmas really be that bad? Will it bring them closer together? Or will it ruin their friendship completely?

ONE

Natalie’s morning started how it always started - with a message from Dec. After silencing her alarm, she opened the message to find a link to an animal video that immediately made her laugh. A dog doing an obstacle course in its living room, sliding down the side of the couch only to bang into a glass door. She sent some laughing emojis before getting out of bed to start her day. 

After showering and dressing, she started to make herself something to eat. It was pitch black out so she had on a few lamps to help give the flat a warm glow. A knock at the door instantly put a smile on her face because she knew who it was.

“Good morning, trouble,” Dec beamed at her. He was stood dressed in his work clothes – black tracksuit with a red and black Arsenal hoodie on. He wasn`t a footballer, but he was the physio for the first team so he was allowed to wear the same uniform as the well-paid members of staff (footballers). He had his black backpack over his shoulders and a baseball cap on backwards.

He was a morning person. Up early because he had to get into work early, but also he just functioned better first thing in the morning. His energy seemed to stay at a constant high, too, which always baffled Natalie. 

She took the mug of coffee off him. “Ahh, my hero,” she beamed back at him. Dec would buy her preferred flavour of coffee for the days that he would pop by with a steaming mug of good morning liquid; other days when they went to the coffee shop he would know her order depending on the season and what shop they went to. 

Natalie took a sip of the frothy hazelnut latte, before telling him to wait there while she passed him something. She handed him a tupperware box of last night’s tea. 

“Three minutes on full?” he checked, chuckling. That was the instruction for anything she handed to him to warm up in the microwave. 

“Something like that, yeah,” she chuckled back. 

“You in tonight?” he asked, putting the tupperware box into his backpack. 

Natalie shook her head. “Working late, then going for a drink with some guy I’ve been chatting to.”

Dec rolled his eyes. “Of course you are.”

“I’m going to get you on those apps,” she threatened with a twinkle in her eye. 

“Nah,” Dec said, shaking his head. “Leave me off those.”

They said their goodbyes for the day, but that didn’t mean they stopped talking. Every day throughout the day they would send each other memes or video links or articles. Even when she was on a date that night, she found herself scrolling on one app or another while the fella was in the loo or at the bar, sending Dec something that reminded her of him. 

Constant contact. 

That was how most of their days looked. It was nice having a friend live right across the hallway, especially in a big city full of anonymous people. Often, when Natalie sent Dec messages late at night, she knew to expect a reply in the morning rather than straight away. Dec was a morning person so went to bed earlier than her. She would wake up to his replies while she made them coffee and plodded over in her pyjamas and slippers.

“Good night?” he’d ask, leaning against the door frame, wiggling his eyebrows.

Natalie would shrug. “Was alright.”

“Gotta get you off those apps,” he would wink at her, mirroring her remark to him back at her.

Natalie would roll her eyes. “How else are people supposed to meet these days?”

Dec would shrug. “Maybe speak to people at work, in coffee shops, in their building…?” he suggested cheekily. 

Natalie would roll her eyes, hand him the coffee cup, and stroll back over to her flat. After she ate some breakfast and started to get herself ready, Dec would knock and hand her a tupperware of his tea from the previous night. 

TWO

But once a week, they would try and go out for tea together. While it was nice to have sporadic interactions throughout the week, it was even nicer to spend actual time together out and about. They would take it in turns trying to find a new place to try (they were living in the capital city, after all - there were always new places to try) but they would always end up in their local pub on the way home. 

“Oh my God,” Natalie groaned into her cocktail. “I have needed this.”

Dec smiled over the rim of his drink. “Week that bad?”

“Long,” she nodded. “With a side of I accidentally told my parents I had a boyfriend and now me and said pretend boyfriend are invited home for the weekend…” She downed the rest of her cocktail. “How’s your week been?”

“Not as chaotic as yours!” Dec laughed, enjoying yet another encounter of Natalie’s many crazy weeks. “Why did you lie to your Mum and Dad?”

“Because they always sound so disappointed and sad when I tell them that, yet again, I am still single. I just didn’t want to make them sad again,” she shrugged. “Can you point me in the direction of a single, rich, sexy footballer I can borrow for the weekend?“ she asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes at him.

“I can,” Dec nodded. “But I won’t…”

Natalie pouted.

“They work of a weekend, anyway,” he reminded her.

“Honestly, I’ll take the injured one at this point.”

Dec laughed. “You know you’re too good for a footballer,” he said. He told her this every so often whenever he talked about work. As much as he loved football and loved his job as a physiotherapist for the first team, Dec didn’t always love the people. 

“Well, my parents are expecting me to turn up with a male human being…” She blinked in thought. “I could pay someone for the weekend -“

“- You’re not doing that, either!” he told her. 

Natalie pouted again. “Fine.”

As Dec stuffed his face with some tasty food, he suggested going along with her for the weekend. 

“I know you, at least,” he shrugged. 

“You would do that?”

Dec nodded. “It doesn’t seem like the most difficult job in the world…”

Grinning, Natalie grabbed his shoulders and brought him in for a hug. “Dec, thank you so much! You don’t know how much this will mean to my parents.”

“Your Mum and Dad aren’t going to be bothered if you’re single forever - they just want you to be happy,” he reminded her.

“I think they’d rather I was with someone,” she told him. “And now, for the weekend, I can pretend to be with you!”

Dec rolled his eyes. 

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Natalie asked. “Can I be your fake girlfriend for your parents?” she joked.

“I don’t lie to my Mum and Dad,” Dec told her. Natalie nudged him, tutting. “You can do something for me, though.”

“Anything,” Natalie promised.

“You can stop dating weirdos.”

THREE

A few nights later, Dec turned up at Natalie’s straight from work.

“I’ve thought of that favour you can do me,” Dec winked, leaning against the door frame.

Natalie, dressed in her leggings and loose hoodie looking dishevelled from organising her Christmas decorations, opened the door wider for him. “Oh yeah?”

He handed her an invitation. “Christmas do,” he said. “Christmas Eve Eve.”

Natalie laughed. They liked calling the 23rd Christmas Eve Eve. “At the Covent Hotel… Fancy,” she noticed. “Why am I doing you a favour going with you?”

“Erm…” Dec started, not really having an answer for her.

“Oh, I know…” Natalie winked. “You trying to make someone jealous? You fancy someone and want them to see how you’d treat them if you were with them? You want me to dress all fancy?” 

Dec chuckled. “Nah,” he said, shaking his head. He looked a little sheepish. “I don’t need any help with that.”

“Are you sure? Because I’ve never seen you interested in anyone -“

“- Are you decorating?” Dec interrupted. He walked in through the open door, placed his bag down, and went over to the open Christmas tree box. “Come on, I’ll help.”

Natalie smiled. “I’m ordering some food in,” she told him. 

“Great,” he smiled, taking out the largest part of the tree first. “I’ll have some noodles.” 

As Natalie closed the front door over, she watched Dec piece together the tree and fluff out the plastic green branches. It was really the only decoration she had for Christmas. She hadn’t even really thought of keeping a lot of decorations in her flat over the years; she assumed at some point she would meet someone and move out with them and start their own traditions in time. As of yet, that still hadn’t transpired. 

But having a friend like Dec made her feel less alone.

FOUR

Natalie’s car was small. Once all their bags were packed in and the presents were safely stored in the back, there was just about enough room for the six foot two bearded man in her passenger seat. 

“You need a bigger car.”

“Your legs are too long.”

Dec wiggled his eyebrows at Natalie, making her laugh. 

“I like this car,” she shrugged, turning the heating on, putting on a playlist, and most importantly, checking her reflection in the rear-view mirror.

“If you drive to me Mum’s we can swap cars over and use mine,” Dec suggested, clicking his seatbelt in. 

He had a huge car that he shared with his brothers. Dec didn’t fancy paying the extra fees to park his car underground - like Natalie did - when he could use that money for his tube fare to work. Natalie liked his thrifty nature. Unlike him, she threw away her money needlessly. Often to make her city life more bearable, which she had long ago accepted was a very expensive way to live. 

“Or,” Natalie smiled at him, “we can just settle for this one.”

Dec rolled his eyes and began scrolling through the playlist on Natalie’s phone. She has specifically selected a Christmas playlist for the journey back to the countryside but she could already see him making another one up. His attention span was smaller than her car. 

*

The further away from the city they drove, the whiter the countryside became. Snowy fields. Bare tree branches bulging with snow. White skies.

“You live far away!” Dec pointed out an hour into their journey. His leg was bouncing up and down. He puffed his cheeks out. He pushed his head back against the headrest. 

Natalie reached her hand over to rest on his thigh. She squeezed it gently to bring his attention to her. “Tell me about those sexy footballers you work with,” she teased.

Dec pulled a face. “They’re not sexy.”

Natalie laughed, bringing her hand up to his face and squeezing his cheeks together. “Jealous Deccy!” she teased in a silly voice.

“Your hands are freezing!” he gasped, taking her hand in his and rubbing her cold fingers together in between his warm hands. “Is your other one cold as well? Can you turn the heating up?”

“Don’t touch my radiators,” she insisted. “Turn the temperature up or down just a little bit then the whole car fogs up, and I can’t deal with fog on the motorway.”

Dec chuckled, shaking his head. “Fine,” he relented, still warming Natalie’s left hand up. “Want to change hands?”

“I don’t think crossing my arms over on the motorway is a good idea,” she reminded him gently. His face looked a little sad, as if he had been told off. “When we get to the village, I’ll cross my hand over.”

“Deal,” he said softly, the voice sounding low. 

*

As promised, once they were off the motorway, Natalie crossed her arms over so Dec could warm her right hand up. He couldn’t spend as long on that one because she needed it every so often, but she liked the feel of her hand enveloped in his. His hands were toasty warm even if they were a little coarse. 

“This is where you live?” Dec asked, suddenly impressed by the scenery surrounding them. 

Chocolate box village. Sandstone walls. Detached cottages. 

“My parents will be so excited to see you,” Natalie reminded him. “Just go along with them. And if they make reference to me doing well for myself in the city, also just go along with that, too… They don’t need to know that I push on doors that say pull or frequently get on the train going in the opposite direction to where I need to go.”

Dec laughed. He loved hearing about all of Natalie’s trails and tribulations of her day-to-day. She was often surprised when Dec directed them to a new restaurant on the first go without any fuss. 

“Just so I know, why would they think you’re doing well? What does they mean?”

Natalie shrugged. “Like, I haven’t returned home crying and traumatised.”

Dec turned to face her. “You come crying to my door three times a week!” he reminded her. 

“Yeah, but you’re not… Like, you don’t… “ Natalie tutted to herself, struggling to find the right words. “You’re safe, Declan,” she eventually settled on. “You’re, like, my safe person to go and have a breakdown to.”

“Ahh, Nat!” he howled, ruffling her hair. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell them you’re a useless adult.”

“Thanks,” she smiled gratefully. 

FIVE

Natalie slowly meandered through the village to her family home. Everything slowed down. The speed limit as well as daily life. Kids and dogs were running out and about, no worries about traffic on the road. People stopped and chatted on their way from the corner shop or to the pub. 

“This is the opposite of where I grew up,” Dec laughed, taking in the scene around him.

Natalie smiled to herself. It felt nice coming home but she had always known that she would leave for the big city. Well, any city really! Just somewhere with more than a few hundred residents. 

*

“Look at you two!” Natalie’s Mum cooed, waiting on the front door step with her arms open wide, her Dad standing next to her. 

Natalie blushed. She knew it was a lie introducing Dec as her boyfriend, but she had only thought of it as a white lie. But the look of sheer delight on their faces felt heavier than she was expecting. 

“Muuum,” Natalie groaned, instantly turning back into a moody teenager. 

“And you must be someone special for our Natalie to bring you home,” her Dad said, holding out his hand.

Dec shook it. “Not sure about that,” he chuckled nervously.

“Nonsense,” her Mum said, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him in for a hug. “I can’t remember Natalie’s last serious boyfriend.”

Natalie rolled her eyes. “Dec’s not serious,” she said. 

Everyone looked at her, confused.

“I mean… he’s silly. Like, a silly guy with a fun personality…” she fumbled over her words. “Was that not obvious?”

Her parents smiled politely at her while Dec brought her into his embrace. He smelled of fresh soapy deodorant and spicy woody aftershave.

“Darling, help me get the bags from the boot,” he smiled kindly at her.

Natalie nodded, grateful for his intervention.

“We’ll go and put the kettle on,” her Mum said, returning to the inside of the house along with her Dad.

Dec opened the boot and handed Natalie a bag. “Why are you so nervous?” he whispered.

“I’m not,” she tried to shrug off. But Dec just looked at her, knowing her better than herself. “Ok, fine. I’m nervous. They look so… happy.”

“They’re happy to see you,” Dec reminded her, stroking her cheek. “Go on and catch-up with them.”

*

Dec followed Natalie in. He carried in the heavier bags, stacking them in the hallway before they all sat down for a cup of tea and quick catch-up. Some small-talk about what the weather was like and how busy the traffic had been and what the plans were for the weekend, before Natalie said they would get their bags upstairs and freshen up.

“It’s ok if I sleep down here, isn’t it?” Dec asked her Mum and Dad.

Everyone turned to Dec, a little taken aback by his question.

“There’s plenty of space in Natalie’s room,” her Mum offered.

“Yeah, Dec,” Natalie agreed, narrowing her eyes at him. “There’s plenty of room…”

But Dec shook his head. “Honestly. I’ve brought the blow-up bed and sleeping bag and pillow…” he listed.

“Is that what was taking up all the space?!” Natalie wondered.

“Didn’t you know?” her Dad asked a little suspiciously. 

Natalie shrugged. “I made sure your presents were packed,” she said to him, pulling her tongue out at him, which made her Dad chuckle.

“Dec, if you want to stay down here, you’re more than welcome,” her Mum agreed. “I’ll keep the heating on low -“

“- There’s no need,” Dec insisted. “I’ve got a hot water bottle as well.”

Natalie’s Dad patted his arm. “You’ve just thought of everything, haven’t you?”

Dec smiled nervously before offering to help Natalie take her bags upstairs.

“Yeah,” Natalie agreed once they were ascending the stairs. “Haven’t you just thought of everything…”

“Shut up,” Dec hissed, placing her bags in her childhood bedroom. “You know I can’t stay in here with you.” 

And with that comment, he took in her old bedroom. It was big, just like they said. Plenty of space either in her bed or to set-up camp on the floor. A bay window with a cushioned seat underneath and long flowy curtains. Posters of pop bands and token reminders of a decade gone by. 

“Why not?” Natalie asked, sitting on the edge of her bed. “Plenty of other boys have,” she joked, winking at him.

Dec rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well… Maybe I don’t want to be one of those boys,” he winked back at her. 

Natalie rolled her eyes before getting up and making her way out of her room. “I’m going for a shower.”

“I’ll go and help your Mum make dinner.”

“You’re such a suck-up,” Natalie teased him, grabbing his waist and squeezing him in his ticklish spot. 

Dec grabbed her wrist to stop her. “Might come in useful one day.” 

He watched the way her eyes trailed down to where he connected with her; the way she sucked in her bottom lip between her teeth. He couldn’t have been the only one whose heart rate had rocketed. 

“Go and shower,” he told her, nodding his head and letting go. 

SIX

Dinner was never usually as fancy as what it looked like on the large table. A Christmas dinner complete with three different meats, pigs in blankets, roasties, Yorkshire puddings, honey-roasted root vegetables, a variety of condiments and a bottle of champagne. Her Dad rolled his eyes at Natalie, secretly telling her to humour her Mum - who hadn’t seen her in a while - and also it was as if he was proud of his wife for making the feast.

“This looks amazing!” Dec enthused, thanking her, holding out his flute while it was topped with sparkling wine. “Thank you for going to all this effort.”

“Well, it’s not every day that I get my daughter and her boyfriend for the weekend, and it’s also Christmas!”

Natalie looked at Dec and smiled at him. Her eyes told him to just play along. Dec chose to wiggle his eyebrows back at bed as he widened an arm and wrapped in around her chair.

Natalie looked down at it, then back to Dec. 

“Merry Christmas, darling,” he said to her, holding his flute out for her to clink with his.

“Merry Christmas,” she finally replied, playing along. 

*

“Now, come on, spill…” Natalie’s Mum said, three glasses of champagne into the meal. “Tell us how you two met.”

“Muuuuum,” Natalie groaned, finding the bottle of champagne and topping herself up. 

“Dec - you tell us since this one won’t.”

He cleared his throat, pushing the empty plate towards the middle of the table a little. His arm returned to the back of Natalie’s chair whilst his other arm rested on the table. 

“Ok,” he agreed, nodding. “Well, it was a while ago that Nat moved into the building. I had just come home from work, and she was pushing boxes along the corridor. She looked like she needed help so I offered. Of course, she was stubborn - still is - and said that she could do it herself…”

Natalie rolled her eyes and finished the story off for him. “And you then stood at your doorway, drinking a cup of tea, telling me everything I was doing wrong!”

Everyone laughed; Natalie sipped more champagne.

“It got you talking to me, though,” Dec reminded her, quietly raising an eyebrow at her.

Her Mum cooed while her Dad asked whether that was when he asked her out.

“It just sort of happened naturally, I’d say,” Declan replied, peeling his eyes away from Natalie. “We ordered some food that night - after she finally accepted my help! - and we just never,” Dec shrugged, finding the right word, “stopped.” 

Natalie was aware that she was staring at Dec. His side profile as he spoke to her parents. His white smile as he played along politely. The way he multi-tasked topping up drinks and keeping the conversation going. She wondered if this was what he was like with girls. Attentive. Then remembered that he’d never been out with anyone so long as she had known him, nor did he like the subject being brought up. 

*

“What’s with you being able to lie so effortlessly?” Natalie whispered as she followed him out into the kitchen with some dishes. 

In truth, she wouldn’t have carried out the dishes herself. But Dec had offered so she took the opportunity to copy him as well as get him alone for a minute. 

“What lies am I telling?” he asked, scraping the plates clean into the bin. 

Natalie leaned against the counter as she watched him. “Erm… everything that you’ve just done?”

“What, telling them how we met? Telling them you’re stubborn? Telling them you’re useless at unpacking?” Dec listed, standing up straight, folding his arm across his chest. 

“No, well… I mean…” Natalie stumbled trying to overturn his points. “I’m not useless at unpacking,” she decided on, crossing her arms over her chest as well.

“So, you’ve unpacked those bags you brought with you?” he asked, knowing full well she hadn’t.

“Shut up, Declan,” she eventually tutted.

Dec laughed, embracing her. “You’re too easy to wind up.”

“Why can you tell lies so effortlessly?” she pressed, looking up at him.

Dec smiled before leaning in close. He raised his hand and tucked some hair behind her ear. “The art of telling a lie is to be as truthful as possible,” he whispered to her. 

And at the precise moment that Dec had his arms around her shoulders and Natalie was looking up at him, her Dad walked in with other dishes.

“Oh!” he chuckled, placing the plates down. “Sorry to interrupt.”

Dec laughed seamlessly whilst Natalie appeared flustered, trying to escape his embrace. “She just can’t get enough of me,” he teased.

“As if!” Natalie tutted.

“Well, my darling, lucky for you I still find you beautiful… even with gravy on your cheek.”

Natalie blushed. Had she had food on her face this whole time?!

Dec quickly dipped his finger on a plate and scooped a dollop of cold gravy onto her cheek.

“Declan!” Natalie screamed, her Dad oblivious to their playing. 

SEVEN

The evening ended with a large Bailey’s in the sitting room in front of the open fire and Christmas music playing on the record player. Dec had scooped Natalie into his side while they all talked about Christmases gone by.

When it was time for bed, Dec followed Natalie up the stairs to brush his teeth. When he had finished in the bathroom, he gently knocked on her bedroom door to let her know the bathroom was free. She has changed into a pair of boyfriend-style Christmas flannel pyjamas. 

“Look at you,” he smiled softly.

Natalie looked up at him. “What, I’m covered up,” she chuckled.

“Exactly,” he teased, pulling his tongue out at her. 

She swiped her arm out to push him but he was too quick and moved out of the way. “Brush your teeth, you,” he told her.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay up here? It’ll be warmer than the conservatory.” She smiled her sweetest smile at him but he was not about to give in to her.

“I’m all sorted down there,” he assured her. “You have a good sleep.”

Natalie nodded, hugging him goodnight. He felt firm and warm, and distinctly unlike any other time that she had hugged him previously.

*

When she returned from the bathroom - with a washed face and brushed teeth - she tried to settle in her childhood bed. The alcohol should have made her sleepy but she felt restless. She also felt frustrated that Dec had chosen to sleep downstairs instead of with her. Not that they’d ever slept together before, but surely sleeping separately would look suspicious and just create questions from her parents.

And why did that hug feel so different? Nice different, too.

She turned over and grabbed her phone from the side. 

thank you for today. you’ve been amazing 🥰

my pleasure 😘

father christmas is going to bring you a brilliant present 🎁

good. i’m a size 11 in footwear 👟 a medium in clothes 👕 and I love a gift voucher 🎟

😂 father christmas knows, obviously 🙄

i also love a lacy lingerie set 🫢👀

i didn’t know you were into that kinda thing… i’ll see if i can find something sexy in your size 😉

NOT FOR ME! never mind 🤦🏻 night you 😘

😘🥰🫶🏻

EIGHT

The following morning was Saturday. Normally, Natalie avoided getting up before midday - or, at least, not getting dressed or socialising before then. But since she was back home and knew she had to make the most of her time with her parents - and knew that Dec was an early riser - she set her alarm for an ungodly hour.

Her eyes stung as she peeled her eye mask off and silenced her alarm. She grumbled all the way to the bathroom and then grumbled all the way down the stairs to wake Dec up.

But he was already up.

“Morning,” he smiled, his voice all low and thick with sleep.

“Good morning,” she smiled back on her way to the kitchen to boil the kettle. “Sleep well?”

“Like a baby,” he replied, following her into the kitchen. “I’ll have a coffee,” he told her from over her shoulder.

She turned her head to acknowledge him, humming some sort of response.

“This is too early for you, isn’t it?” Dec chuckled, resting against the counter, one ankle resting over the other, his arms folded across his chest.

He was chatty in the morning. Natalie wasn’t. She hummed at him again in lieu of words. When the kettle boiled, she poured the hot water over the coffee granules in both of their cups. Dec passed her the milk from the fridge, their fingers touching as she grabbed the carton off him.

“Morning, you two,” her Mum beamed as she then walked into the kitchen. 

Her Dad wasn’t far behind, so that meant Natalie was making another two hot drinks and humming responses at everyone who insisted on talking loudly and cheery in her vicinity.

“She’s grumpy in the morning, isn’t she,” her Dad chucked, nodding his head at Natalie but aiming the observation at Dec.

Dec agreed, of course. Then went on to regale several stories of how unsociable she was first thing. Or when she generally was tired, hungry and / or annoyed with someone. 

Her Dad blew breath out of his mouth and shook his head. “You poor thing.” He sipped his coffee. “Please don’t return her.”

Dec laughed, wrapping an arm around Natalie’s shoulders. “I think I’ll keep her.”

*

Once Natalie had had her much-needed coffee, Dec noticed how she had thawed and had joined in with the morning conversation. He had suggested all going out for breakfast - his treat - and remembered that Natalie used to enjoy going to a particular cafe in the village square. 

“I love this place!” Natalie enthused, clapping her hands together as they sat down at the table in the crowded cafe. “Every single thing on the menu is delicious,” she told Dec, handing him a laminated list of food and drink. 

Dec nodded, relaxing back on his chair and resting his nearest arm across the back of Natalie’s. Again. Because it was a comfortable position. And it looked good for her parents. But he noticed how Natalie had started to side-eye him whenever he did this. He couldn’t decided whether she was warning him or thanking him. Or enjoying it… But maybe that was too much to hope for.

“I fancy something sweet,” Natalie decided, pointing at the pancakes. “Hmm… But I also want lots of bacon.”

Dec chuckled. “Order both,” he suggested. “We can always share?”

It didn’t take much for Natalie to agree. After all, that was something they usually did. Whenever they went out to new restaurants, they’d buy small dishes and share it all so they could taste as much as possible. Sharing two breakfast dishes was child’s play for them. 

“Aww, they share food,” Natalie’s Mum cooed to her Dad.

“Don’t get any ideas,” he replied back, before both of them promptly ordered separate breakfasts for themselves.

*

As usual, Natalie was correct about the cafe being delicious. She generally had good awareness of restaurants or food stalls, so when she had asked Dec how his breakfast was and all he could do was nod as he devoured the food, he knew she would have felt vindicated in her recommending the place. 

“Shall we have a look around the market as well?” her Mum asked, finishing her pot of tea. “I’m sure it’s not as exciting as that big wonderland one in the city, but the stalls are usually very good and reasonably priced.”

“Of course,” Natalie agreed, finishing her third coffee of the morning. She had completely melted away her grumpy morning face and had a full and satisfied smile on her. “Do you think there’ll be an underwear stall?”

Dec spluttered his coffee.

“I think there is,” her Mum replied. “I normally get your Dad’s long Johns from there.”

Luckily, her Mum and Dad had no idea how much of a minx their daughter was. She was obviously referring to the messages last night… referring to his preference of lacy lingerie. 

Natalie turned to Dec and spoke quietly to him. “Not quite what I had in mind.”

Dec swallowed what was left of his coffee before averting had eyes from her and catching the attention of the waitress to ask for the bill. 

*

The village square was like something Dec would see on a Christmas card or in a Christmas film. It was picturesque, and Dec wondered why Natalie ever left this place or seemed unsure of returning. 

Her Mum and Dad explained to Dec that the village square would often be utilised during all the seasons, decorated with bunting and fairy lights and stalls according to each season. He was even pleasantly pleased to hear that the locals gathered around to watch the cricket or rugby games when they televised the big games. It wasn’t quite football… but nothing could compare to the beautiful game.

As they made their way leisurely around the stalls, they sipped mulled wine and were introduced to neighbours and friends. Dec noticed the way Natalie froze a little, and he remembered her questioning him about lying last night.

“Ahh, so this is your partner?” a couple had asked Natalie.

In lieu of her answering, Dec took hold of the reins and wrapped a protective arm around her. “We’re best mates, really, aren’t we?” he beamed, scooping into the side of his body a little tighter, getting her to make eye contact with him.

Natalie nodded at him. “Yeah,” she agreed, dipping her head underneath his shoulder. “Best mates.”

All the parents cooed and mentioned how nice it was that the kids were finally settling down and how maybe hats were to be called for in the not so distant future…

The space underneath Dec’s arm suddenly wasn’t occupied. Natalie had made her excuses about finding more mulled wine and walked off to a near-by stall.

“Hey,” Dec said, grabbing her hand. “Wait up.”

“That was a lot,” she admitted, ordering two more mulled wines. “I’m not crazy, right? They’re the crazy ones. Talking about the future and pressurising us…”

Dec shook his head. “You’re not crazy,” he agreed.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see her Mum and Dad looking over. Dec didn’t want to arouse suspicion further so he bent down and leaned in close. His nose touched hers; their lips were inches apart.

“Stay still,” he whispered to her, bringing his hand to the back of her head. Natalie’s eyes widened - a silent question to him asking what the hell he was doing. “From over there, this might look like we’re kissing.”

Natalie swallowed. “Kissing?”

Dec nodded slowly. “Wrap your arms around my neck.”

“I’m not a naturally tactile person, Dec,” she insisted.

“Coulda fooled me, all the guys you sleep with…”

Natalie gasped before laughing, all while raising her arms and placing them around his neck. “Declan… That was a low blow.”

“Got you smiling, though,” he reminded her. “And it’s true.”

Natalie rolled her eyes. “How long does this kiss have to last, then?”

Dec shrugged. “How long do your kisses normally last?”

“Erm…” she smirked, but before she could answer the stall holder motioned that her mulled wine was ready and told her the price. “Thank you,” she said, her eyes still on Dec’s. “I feel calmer.”

“Any time,” he promised, slowly letting go of her. As he did, he placed a kiss on top of her head. For the first time, Dec could see a vulnerability in Natalie that he hadn’t seen before. The way she couldn’t handle the pressure. The way she couldn’t be honest with any of her family - including herself. It seemed a lot clearer why she was desperate to invite someone with her to pose as her boyfriend. 

*

Natalie finished her mulled wine, and then another. She consumed some mine pies, cannolis and leberkuchens before having another mulled wine and feeling somewhat tipsy for early afternoon. 

“It’s early afternoon,” Dec reminded her, passing her a coke bottle of fizzy pop. “Drink this.”

Natalie did as she was told. “I’m not drunk.”

Dec looked down to where Natalie was linking his arm and resting her head against his shoulder. “Then why are you all… clingy?”

“I’m not,” she told him defensively. “Besides, you said act couple-y.”

Dec shook his head. “No, I didn’t.”

“Well, you were the one leaning in for some kind of kiss earlier on… I’m just following your lead.”

“How about I just follow your lead… to the pub,” Dec told her, nodding at the public house over the other side of the square. “Your Dad mentioned going for some lunch.”

“Ooh, you sure you want me drinking any more?” she teased, pulling her tongue out to him. “God forbid I get drunk at Christmas with my fake boy -“

“- Let’s get going before someone overhears!” Dec called out over the volume of Natalie. “Drink that drink on the way.”

Natalie rolled her eyes but did as she was told. She then drank some water while sitting at the table waiting for her parents to meet them inside. By the time it was the four of them again, her mulled wine buzz had worn off, and she and Declan were back to being best friends again. 

As her Dad was explaining to Dec how long the pub had been in the village for, Natalie noticed how Dec’s arm had found itself on the back of her chair once again. Just casually slung around the wooden back. Looking protective. And feeling… normal. Nice, even. 

Her Mum asked her a question but she couldn’t reply because she was too busy staring at Dec who was indulging her Dad in conversation. 

She found herself mesmerised by how wide and concentrating his eyes were. The way he nodded to show he was listening. The way he asked him questions to continue the conversation. Before she knew it, Natalie had raised her hand to his head and found herself touching his hair - his soft brown hair - as if she was petting a kitten. 

“Hey,” Dec smiled as he turned his head slowly. He wasn’t telling her to stop; he was just taken by surprise by her unusual tactile gesture. “You ok?”

Natalie nodded, smiling back at him. It took a good few seconds of them smiling silly at each other before she realised what she was doing. Her eyes widened. She stopped breathing. She quickly removed her hand.

“You had… fluff,” she stuttered, trying her hardest not to blush. “From your… jumper,” she said, hoping it was plausible that his fair-aisle knit would produce fluff. 

“Fluff,” Dec repeated slowly. 

Natalie clasped her hands firmly on top of her jeaned legs. She was now sweating - and it wasn’t because of her Christmas jumper nor the roaring open fire in the corner of the pub. But because Declan was looking straight at her lying face. 

Thankfully, her parents were too busy looking at the lunch menu to notice the tension between them. So Declan took his opportunity…

He leaned in, and tucked some loose hair behind her ear. He whispered into her exposed area that she was welcome to remove any other pieces of fluff that might attach themselves to his hair. His breath tickled her ear, making her shiver in a way that she hadn`t in a long time. She smiled to herself, knowing full-well that he knew she wasn’t really picking fluff out of his hair. She knew he had liked it; that she had liked it. Natalie had never touched his hair before. Had never thought about him in a boyfriend way before at all. 

But now… it was hard to think of him in any other way.

*

After lunch, and after a bottle of red shared between the four of them, Natalie’s Mum and Dad had insisted that Natalie and Dec have some photos taken of them together. Of all of them, really. And the pub provided the perfect backdrop to facilitate the pictures. 

In their Christmas jumpers, they were directed to stand by the tree, and then stand by the log fire with the garland draped along the mantelpiece, and then outside next to the bare trees surrounded by the snow. They were told to look happy, look cosy, look like they know each other. They were fine to take silly photos but the more serious couple-y ones felt a little too intimate at times. Nice intimate, though. Like Natalie underneath his arm should just be a given on all of their photos from now on. Like Natalie was the perfect height next to his taller frame. Like the smell of Natalie’s perfume overtook his senses making me feel drunk and lucky and like this was all real. 

When Natalie insisted that they get some photos on her phone, Dec offered to hold the camera while she and her Mum and Dad had some family pictures together. As he was snapping away, notifications came through from one of her dating apps. Messages from the guys that she had clearly matched with. 

Seeing the notifications snapped him out of this alternative reality. This fantasy. Natalie was single, and very much looking for someone to meet up with. It felt like the equivalent of having a bucket of cold water poured over him. 

When Natalie took the phone off him to look at the pictures, she asked him if he was ok. He was better than she was at hiding his feelings, but even he was struggling to hide his disappointment. 

“I’m good, yeah,” he swallowed, forcing a smile. “You good?”

Natalie looked through her photos, then nodded her head as she replied. 

NINE

They returned home mid-afternoon for a quick change of clothes for their evening booking at the local cinema. In the city, the local cinema was usually a huge multiplex with various options of how to watch lots of different films. Here, there was one screen with a few dozen seats and an interval. The decor hadn’t changed, really, since it’s opening in the nineteen twenties. The only difference was that it now had a license to serve alcohol. This kind of cinema in the city would have been classed as a quirky spot to go to watch a classic film. But in this village, it was all Natalie had known.

There was no specific dress code to go the cinema. In fact, most people tended to go fairly casual. But her parents liked to dress somewhat smart to go; even more so if they went to the theatre when they visited Natalie in the city. So, Natalie knew that she’d have to make the effort. Also, she found it felt quite nice to dress up a little - especially to go and see an old classic Christmas film. 

She had reminded Declan to bring something smart-casual, but when she watched him stand leaning against her bedroom door frame waiting for her to finish getting ready, she realised that he had made slightly more of an effort than what he usually did. When they went out for their weekly meal and drinks, he might wear jeans and a polo top with a nice pair of trainers. It wasn’t difficult to dress in the city because anyone could basically get away with anything and still be completely anonymous. In a small village, people often felt the need to dress to fit in - like Natalie used to. Now, after living in the city for a few years, she was confident enough to wear whatever she fancied. Happily, her short black velvet dress, black sheer tights and black latent boots complimented Declan’s black chinos, white brushed cotton shirt and black suede lace ups. His hair was freshly brushed and sweeped back, and over his arm he carried his winter coat to keep the cold winter chill away on the walk there and back. 

“I feel like I spend my life waiting for you to get ready,” he smiled, watching her apply some red lipstick expertly in the mirror.

It was true. Declan was usually ready and on time waiting in her living room for her to finish getting ready. Every week he said the same thing. And every week she replied with the same thing. 

Natalie blotted her lip and pouted at herself in the mirror, checking she had perfected the lining. “Am I worth waiting for?” she asked, getting up slowly and twirling for him. 

Declan hummed before checking the time on his watch. 

“It’s literally five minutes away,” Natalie told him knowing he hated being late. She spritzed some perfume before pulling on her black coat, scarf and gloves. “Ready,” she smiled.

They had not even made their way to the bottom of the stairs before her Mum insisted that they get a photo because they looked so lovely. Natalie blushed, but they both obliged. One in front of the tree. One outside the front door by the wreath. One with all four of them. 

“They like photos,” Natalie murmured as she linked his arm on the walk to the cinema.

Declan shrugged. “I don’t mind. We never get nice pictures together.”

“Because we’re not… you know,” she whispered. “Everyone would assume…”

Dec didn’t reply. Natalie wondered whether it meant something or not. But they kept linking, and when they got to the cinema he bought some drinks for them all and got himself comfortable in the cosy chair next to her. And when the lights went out save the odd flickering lamp on the side walls, Dec wrapped his arm around her shoulders and stroked her hair.

Natalie looked over at him.

“Fluff,” he shrugged, but didn’t move his fingers from her hair.

Natalie smiled then snuggled into the side of his warm body. They stayed in that position for the next hour until the interval, watching Jimmy Stewart wonder what life would have been like if he wasn’t born… 

*

Dec didn’t want the interval to come. He didn’t want the film to end. He was enjoying having Natalie underneath his arm. To anyone passing, they looked like a couple. To him, he felt the most comfortable he’d ever felt with her. Even though he was disappointed with the messages he`d seen earlier on, he couldn`t let her down this weekend. He didn`t want to let her down. And, sadistically, he was enjoying all the pretending. All the linking arms and hugging bodies and stroking hair…

Natalie peeled herself away from his side. She promised to bring them both back some wine for the second half of the film. And some popcorn, because Dec’s sweet tooth was crying out for some munch. He watched her walk away, her short dress swishing around the tops of her slim thighs. He noticed other people noticing her, and he felt almost smug that it was him she was cuddled up to.

While Natalie was gone, he made conversation with her Mum and Dad, checked his phone, then realised that he also needed the loo. Thankfully, the queue was short. But on his way out, he noticed Natalie in the foyer. She was talking to some guy. Looking cosy. Like she knew him. He wondered whether he was one of those guys that she had matched with on the dating apps. Had she arranged to meet up with him here? While they were pretending to be a couple for the sake of keeping her Mum and Dad happy? 

Dec didn’t often feel angry with Natalie, but watching her flirt while he was all dressed up and waiting for her to return to him had really pissed him off. 

“One red wine,” Natalie smiled at Dec, handing him a large glass. “And one sweet popcorn.”

Dec took the glass and the cardboard box off her, and repositioned himself on the seat. 

“It’s cold in the foyer,” she said, rubbing her hands together to generate some heat. “Warm me up,” she requested, positioning herself back to where she was previously, smiling at him.

But Dec didn’t move. He sipped some of his wine before telling her that he was more comfortable how he was for now. Natalie visibly appeared confused and little hurt, but he didn’t care. That was exactly how he felt. 

TEN

Once the film had finished, and everyone had finished their drinks and put their coats back on ready for the walk back home, Natalie announced that she was going to show Dec the lights in the square before returning home. Her parents understood and smiled at them both, gushing something about them being a lovely couple and looking so nice together. 

Thankfully, her parents never picked up on the tension between her and Dec. Not that she knew why there was tension, but that was the reason for their walk home the long way round. She wanted to know exactly what had happened.

“So, spill…” she said once they were by themselves. The square was empty but the twinkling lights were still on. 

Dec sighed. 

“Come on, Dec,” she tutted at his lack of verbal response. “Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“Ok. I just feel like you’ve taken me for a bit of a mug,” he told her, stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

Natalie frowned. “What… How?! When have I -“

“- You’ve been doing it this whole trip,” he interrupted her. “You’re always on your phone swiping on those dating apps, having men message you, meeting up with them… “

It took a moment for Natalie to digest what he was accusing her of. “I haven’t really been on my phone,” she told him. “And even though I have had messages sent to me, I haven’t messaged anyone. And I have no idea what you’re talking about, about me meeting up with people… I’ve been with you this whole time.”

“No you haven’t!” Dec shouted. “Not really. You’ve looked like you’ve been with me… but I’ve actually -“ And then he stopped himself talking. He breathed out, shaking his head.

“Finish that sentence, Dec,” she told him. 

But he didn’t. 

“How am I supposed to know what you’re cross about if you won’t tell me?”

“Why was it so important that you brought me home with you? Your Mum and Dad don’t seem too bothered either way. You made them out to be worse than what they actually are.”

“They’re only being like this because I’ve come home with you. If I was here alone, I’d get the third degree the whole weekend. It’d be constant questions about why I haven’t met someone and when will I settle down… I can’t face that kind of pressure, Dec. You’ve made this trip so much more bearable.”

But Dec just shook his head. “I think you could have brought anyone.” 

Natalie shook her head. “No,” she argued. “You suggesting coming was a genius idea. I’m most comfortable with you so it makes sense - we make sense.” 

Dec smirked at her. “What does that even mean, Nat?”

Natalie didn’t like Dec when he was like this. She didn’t see him like this often - and wasn’t usually on the end of his cross words - but hated it all the same. “Why are you being like this?”

“Can’t you think?” he asked, leaning against the black railings. “Can’t you guess why I don’t like you meeting up with a guy when I’m all dressed up pretending for your Mum and Dad?”

“Who the fuck did I meet up with?!” she shouted at him.

“In the foyer!” he shouted back. “I saw you flirting with someone at the bar.”

Then the penny dropped. Natalie chuckled. “I didn’t meet up with him… I bumped into him.”

“Who the fuck is he, Nat?”

“Someone I used to see a million years ago. I was just saying hello.”

“Looked cosier than that.”

“It wasn���t. Also, why is it any of your business who I look cosy with?”

“It’s my business when I’m pretending to be your boyfriend.”

“Oh, you can stop tomorrow,” Natalie sighed. “I’m so sorry that the idea you came up with is exhausting you!”

Natalie had had enough of Dec so she walked away. Not that it would be a long walk back home but staying and arguing about God knows what was pointless. 

“Nat!” Dec called out, catching up to her. “Don’t walk away. We need to sort this out.”

“Sort what out?” she mumbled, still walking. 

But Dec was faster than her, of course. He jogged ahead, stood in front of her, and stopped her walking any further. 

“You’re right - I am exhausted,” he admitted. “I’m tired and fed-up of pretending. And I don’t just mean this weekend… I have tried my hardest to not lie to your Mum and Dad. To you, even. I don’t think we’ve really acted any differently this weekend - other than let people think we’re together.” He sighed. “I just wish you knew how lucky anyone would be to be with you. Not just for one night, either.”

Natalie had been determined to walk home. But Dec’s words had floored her. 

She swallowed before trying to get her words out. “You mean -“

“- Let’s just get back,” Dec said, holding out his arm for her to link. The pavements were slippery and he didn’t want her falling over in her heels. 

ELEVEN

Back home, Natalie and Declan got dressed for bed quietly. No brushing their teeth at the sink together. No teasing how long Natalie took taking her make-up off. No rolling eyes when Dec commented on how she wore more to bed than out in the snow. 

Quiet, and then separate as Dec retreated back down to the conservatory. 

Despite the amount of drink Natalie had had throughout the day, she found sleep hard to come by. She tossed and turned before she grabbed her phone and opened it up. She looked at the photos of her and Dec together. Not just from this weekend away but from all the times they had taken silly selfies of themselves or caught the other off-guard and captured an unflattering angle. The ease of them both… When had it become so hard to just be friends? 

hey, you asleep?

yes. in the lane of nod. get some rest x 

But his message only spurred her on to peel the bed covers back, creep down the stairs and visit him in the conservatory. 

“Shit, Nat - I didn’t even hear you come down the stairs,” Dec said, pushing himself up on the blow-up bed to see her outline in the semi-darkness. 

“I’ve been avoiding the creaks on the stairs for years,” she said. “I can come and go without anyone noticing.”

Dec rolled his eyes at Natalie’s admission of naughtiness. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

Natalie shrugged. “Why aren’t you?”

“Because you’ve just scared the life out of me!”

Kneeling down, Natalie chuckled. “Budge up. Let me in,” she requested, crawling up the blow-up bed.

“What’s wrong with your bed?”

You’re not in it, she thought. “I think I just need to sleep next to you tonight.”

“Why?” he asked, almost as if he didn’t believe her or understand her intentions, but it didn’t stop him opening the sleeping bag and allowing her to scooch in next to him. 

Natalie smiled shyly. “Well, it’s been a whole weekend since I’ve last slept with anyone so I guess I was due a body next to me,” she chuckled sardonically. 

Dec tutted. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true. It’s what you think.”

“I don’t,” Dec argued. “I don’t really think anything about you sleeping with anyone else.”

“You always being it up, though,” she reminded him. “And you must think something if you… like me?”

Dec shifted uncomfortably inside the sleeping bag. “This proximity is probably not the best for this conversation,” he chuckled nervously.

Natalie slid herself comfortably into the sleeping bag at his side, turning into her side so she was face to face with Dec. “I think it’s the perfect amount of space for us.” She rested her head on a bent arm. “Talk to me, Dec. Be honest with me about how long you’ve felt like this.”

Dec swallowed, looking down at her. He had mirrored her position but his height advantage put him above her even when laying side by side. “I don’t know… I suppose I’ve always kinda felt like this with you,” he shrugged. 

“Why haven’t you ever told me?”

Dec shrugged. “What am I supposed to say? `Oh, by the way, in between you going out with this guy and that guy I quite like you and would you mind just giving me a go to take you out?` It just became harder to fit it into the conversation…”

“I wish you’d have told me sooner.”

“Why?” he asked hopefully, his heart beating faster.

“Because I would never have put you in this position this weekend.”

“Oh,” he said sadly. “Well, it’s been nice getting to know your Mum and Dad.”

“Has it?”

Dec nodded. “You should get your Dad some gardening stuff for Christmas - he loves it out there. And your Mum was talking about going to the new play at the theatre.”

Natalie chuckled. “Declan… You’re really sweet. And you know my parents a lot better than I do, apparently!” 

He smiled a small smile at her as he brought his fingers up to stroke her cheek. “Do you think that you could ever feel the same about me as I do you?”

Natalie took a deep breath. “Dec… I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “I mean, this weekend has felt lovely. Stress-free. Almost as if we’re really together. I feel so comfortable around you. And I have felt… different around you today. But I don’t know if I can base today the same as you`ve feel about me over a longer period of time.”

Dec took all of her words in, then nodded slowly. “That’s fine,” he smiled sadly again. “At least this weekend gave me a taste of what it might be like to be with you.”

“How? You wouldn’t even share my bed with me,” she teased.

“I think I can offer you more than who you usually go out with.”

Natalie found herself nodding along to his truthful words. “I wish I could give you the answer you want,” she admitted quietly. “But I’ve just never thought of us in that way before…”

Dec pulled a face to show that he understood her words. “Start thinking, Natalie,” he told her, kissing her forehead softly. 

And without spoken permission, he turned onto his back and lifted his arm for Natalie to snuggle into his side. She wrapped an arm over his waist and a leg around his. Perfectly natural. 

TWELVE

Dec didn’t get much sleep that night. A few hours on and off. In fact, he was a bit uncomfortable laying on his back most of the night - but whenever he tried to move, the koala bear around his body reminded him that he would rather feel uncomfortable than move her and risk her untangling herself from him. 

But somewhere between the dead of night and the crack of morning, Dec couldn’t stay in his position any longer. He needed a piss, and needed to stretch out. Quietly, he rearranged Natalie so she turned onto her side, kissed her forehead softly, and did what he needed to do before changing his clothes and starting the day. 

Natalie moaned lightly, slowly waking up. 

“Morning, trouble,” Dec said quietly as he packed his bags.

She hummed, before sitting up and wrapping the sleeping bag around her tighter. “Time is it?”

“Six.”

“Oh, for f…” she grumbled, cosying back down into the blow-up bed. “Why are you up?” she asked closing her eyes and yawning.

“We’re going back today,” he reminded her. “Need to beat the traffic.”

“We live, like, an hour away.”

“It’s the last weekend before Christmas, and it’s snowing,” he told her. “And I’ve got work in the morning. And I need to meal prep and do some washing and -“

“- Alright, alright,” Natalie moaned, covering her ears with her hands. “Stop talking about real life.”

Dec smiled to himself as he zipped his bag up. “Come on, you,” he said, encouraging her to wake up. “Up, coffee, shower.”

Natalie groaned into the pillow. “You make the coffee, then” she tried to bargain. 

*

After watering Natalie with caffeine, and then telling her to actually shower to wake herself up, Dec and Natalie were ready and packed before Natalie’s Mum and Dad got up for breakfast. 

“I wish you could stay longer,” her Mum said over the breakfast table. 

“Or come back more often,” her Dad suggested.

Dec looked at Natalie, who looked slightly uncomfortable. But she smiled, nodded, and agreed to think about it. Then, she turned to Dec and nodded at him. 

*

Once all their bags were in the car, Natalie hugged her parents goodbye and wished them a merry Christmas. She said that she’s phone them on Christmas Day. And she meant it this time.

“It’s so nice to finally see you with someone,” her Mum smiled at her, hugging her tightly. “Declan is a lovely lad. He cares about you so much.”

A dead weight dropped to the bottom of Natalie’s stomach. Guilt. If she’d have known how he felt she truly wouldn’t have put him in this position this weekend. 

But the fact that he suggested it and allowed himself to be put in this position made her appreciate Dec all the more. One weekend feeling like she had a crush on him wasn’t enough to give him false hope, but she definitely knew that she wouldn’t be able to see him in the same way again…

THIRTEEN

Unlike on their journey to Natalie’s parents, Dec was quiet and still in the car back to the city. He didn’t protest about the playlist that was playing, didn’t bother complaining about the temperature in the car, and didn’t suggest stopping for a coffee at the service station. 

“Are you hungry?” Natalie asked, seeing a sign for a drive-thru Burger King. 

Dec shook his head. “I’m good.”

He was lying. Dec was always hungry. 

“We could order some food in when we’re back and -“

“- I’ve got things to do,” he replied coolly. 

Natalie sighed. She continued driving in silence with only the playlist for company until they arrived back home. 

*

Because Dec was, at heart, a gentleman, he carried his and Natalie’s heaviest bags up to the flat whilst she took the smaller and lighter ones. He checked they had everything of their own, then proceeded to open his front door almost as if without thinking about saying goodbye to Natalie.

“Oi,” she said, noticing him trying to slip away. “I know you’re pissed off with me but you’re not allowed to just ignore me and walk away without saying anything -“

“- I’m not pissed off with you,” he sighed. “But I do need some time away.”

“Oh,” Natalie swallowed. “Ok… Time. How much time?”

Dec shrugged. “I don’t know. But we can’t be the way we usually are now you know how I feel about you.”

“I know,” she agreed sadly. “But you said -“

“- Nat,” he interrupted, squeezing the bridge of his nose. “Please. Just… have a think about what I’ve said and about what you want… And we’ll go from there.”

“But what if…?”

Dec swallowed. “What if you don’t feel the same as me?” he asked, saying the question that she couldn’t finish. He shrugged. “Then at least we know where we both stand.”

“But I don’t want to lose a friend.”

“And I don’t want to be just your friend.” 

And before Natalie could register the words enough to form a response, Dec had taken himself and his luggage into his flat and closed the front door behind him. 

FOURTEEN

Monday came around quickly. It felt both like no time at all had passed since returning home from her parents, and that time had stop moving since Dec had needed some time and stopped talking to her. 

She could understand his point of view. But it didn’t make it any easier. And every time she had a thought or seen something funny online she remembered that she couldn’t just send him a message. Well, she could… but he wouldn’t reply. And that was worse. 

Their usual morning coffee ceased to exist. Natalie had to make do with making herself just the one cup, and switching the TV on for company. The meals that Dec was supposedly prepping the day before were just for him this week so she wouldn’t get to share his food nor would he get to share any of hers. She wasn’t able to send him a song that she’d heard on the radio in work that was new and sounded good. He’d have hated it because it was a poppy dance number, but she would have made him listen to it over and over until he at least admitted that it was catchy. 

When Natalie returned from work, she was tired but she still would have normally messaged Dec something about her day. Sometimes just a meme or a voice note was swapped between them. But not being able to do just that felt like a vital lifeline had been taken away. 

Just twenty-four hours without him was evidence enough that he was a major part of her day-to-day life. That night, she didn’t even bother making herself anything to eat. She just went straight to bed to try and forget about it all.

Tuesday and Wednesday felt just as long and lonely and sad. 

On Thursday, she received a message. Her heart leapt out of her chest at the pinging notification, only to drop back down into the pits of her stomach to find that it wasn’t from Dec. 

It was, however, someone that she had matched with a few weeks previously trying to arrange a date with her. Natalie read the message but didn’t respond. She wasn’t in the mood to socialise. Well, she wanted to socialise with Dec. She wanted them to Google some new restaurant to try and bicker about which place would be the better option. 

In work, she invited some colleagues out for after work Christmas drinks. No one could go since it was so close to Christmas that they had other plans or hated the idea of being out in chocker bars. 

So, depressed at the thought of spending every single night in by herself after work, she picked up her phone and agreed to the date that she was offered for the following night. 

The last Friday before Christmas was always busy. The busiest, probably. Thankfully, she only had half a day in work so had some time in the afternoon to meet up with this guy before the bars got really busy. 

She knew her heart wasn’t really in it, but it beat being alone for another night. It wasn`t fair on the guy either, but her sympathy for him soon waned once he started talking only about himself and allowing his eyes to wander at every female that walked by.

FIFTEEN

Natalie phoned her Mum. “I just want to tell you something,” she started.

“Is everything ok, love?”

Natalie swallowed down her tears. “Dec isn’t my boyfriend. I lied about that. I didn’t want you to think I was unhappy being alone. Dec’s one of my best friends.”

“Oh,” her Mum hummed on the other end of the phone. “Well, he certainly seemed to like you enough.”

“Yeah, he’s a good friend,” Natalie admitted. “My best friend.”

“That’s nice,” her Mum said. “But I think he likes you more than a friend.”

“I know.”

“How do you feel about that?”

Natalie shrugged, not that her Mum could see. “I don’t know. I’m confused, Mum.”

“Oh, Natalie…” her Mum sympathised. “For what it’s worth, he seems like a lovely boy.”

“He is. The best.”

“Then would it be so bad to be more than friend?”

Natalie cried. “What if it goes wrong? And I lose my friend? Then I’m down a boyfriend and a friend.”

“Oh, Nat. Come on, now. From the way you two were carrying on you’d have thought you were a long-term couple already. A good basis for a relationship is friendship. You’ve already got that. Now you just have to decide whether you want to be brave and try to make it work in a relationship.”

“So, you liked him?”

“Yes. Very much.” She could hear her Mum smile.

“What did Dad think?”

“Do you want to speak to Dad?”

“Yes, please.” Nat sniffed away some more tears before she spoke to her Dad.

“How’s my favourite daughter?”

“Daaad,” Natalie half-laughed half-groaned. Her Dad chuckled at her. “Did you like Declan?”

“Of course I did,” he replied, as if it was a silly question. “Why’d you ask?”

“Because,” she mumbled. 

“Because what?”

“I’m just doing a survey to see how you two found him last weekend.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Nat continued to groan. “Put Mum back on, please.”

“Not get the answer you wanted?” her Mum asked.

“I got it,” Natalie said. “You both like him. I like him… Maybe I should go and tell him.”

“I think that sounds like a good idea.”

“You won’t let on that you knew that we weren’t really together, will you?”

Her Mum promised. “As I said, you two seemed very much like a couple so why would I think any different…?”

“You won’t tell Dad, will you?”

“He’s none the wiser, I promise you,” which made Natalie stop crying and chuckle. 

SIXTEEN

Natalie checked herself in the mirror one last time before leaving the flat and making her way to the hotel. A sequined red dress that had been hanging up on her wardrobe since she`d learned of the invitation. Black strappy sandals that would no doubt cripple her before she even got to the venue. A small black cross-body handbag – mainly for practical purposes travelling across the city but it was cute all the same.

The invitation safely in her handbag. 

The hotel was decorated beautifully. Red and green – predominantly Christmas colours, but also the colours of the team`s kit, which fitted the theme nicely.

Taking a deep breath, Natalie crossed the cobbled courtyard and headed for the red carpet into the main entrance.

“Good evening!” she smiled brightly at the doorman, hoping to inject a bit of confidence in herself.

“He’s already arrived,” the man with the clipboard informed Natalie as she handed over the invitation. He was tall, miserable-looking, and no-nonsense.

“I know,” she nodded, pretending that she was in on the plan. “I’m meeting him in there.”

He looked her up and down. They looked at the invitation. Then looked down at the clipboard. He ticked something off, unhooked the velvet rope, and let her past. “Have a good night.”

*

The first thing that Natalie saw in the courtyard was a huge Christmas tree. Over twenty foot tall, easily. Covered in twinkling fairy lights and shiny red baubles of varying sizes. Sitting in a wooden planter. Surrounding the tree were wooden benches and chairs, where people were mulling about taking selfies or waiting for other guests of the party of arrive.

Natalie took a picture of herself underneath the Christmas tree and sent it to Dec.

Meet me here 🤳🏻🎄❤️

Natalie stood pacing on her block heels, waiting for Dec to appear. The music from the inside hall was thumping out over the speakers. So loud that Natalie could feel the bass beat through her chest.

“Nat,” she finally heard his familiar voice call out. She smiled up at him, in his black suit. He looked lovely; so handsome. “What’re you doing here?”

She held up her invitation. “You invited me.”

“Yeah, but -“

“- No,” she interrupted him. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” he shrugged.

“Pretend like you haven’t had enough time away from me.”

“It’s been a week, Nat,” he reminded her.

“I know. And it’s been a long fucking week! Don’t tell me you haven’t thought that this has been the crappiest week you’ve had since knowing me.”

Dec thought about it for a moment. “That week you were ill and had me in and out with food and Lucozade and sympathy was pretty miserable.”

Tears pricked the back of Natalie’s eyes. “See,” she smiled, pushing his arm lightly. “Only you know that kind of thing about me.”

“What, that you’re a nightmare when you’re ill? Everyone knows that.”

Natalie shook her head. “They don’t know what soup I like from what Chinese restaurant, and they don’t know that I like my Lucozade ice cold, and they don’t know much I overdose on my cold relief, and that -“

“- Nat,” Dec interrupted, grabbing her arms, stopping her in her flow. “What’s all this about?”

Natalie wiped away a tear that fell from her eye. “It’s me turning up for your Christmas party like I promised I would. Because we’re best friends.” She saw Dec’s face fall a little at hearing that they were friends. She smoothed her hands up his arms and wrapped them around his neck. “And because I want us to be more.”

“More?” Dec asked, almost looking scared to be hopeful; scared he would get it wrong. 

Nat smiled, nodding. He rested his forehead against hers. “Yes. More.”

A grin broke out on Dec’s face. “So you think you can just turn up and make a grand gesture underneath this Christmas tree and I’ll just fall into your arms?” 

“Basically,” Natalie chuckled.

Dec shook his head. “And you’d be absolutely right,” he told her, wrapping his arms around her lower back and pulling her in tight to his body. “You look beautiful, by the way,” he told her. As Natalie smiled at him, he leaned in and kissed her. 

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 19/07/2023

Moves Like K.K.

Season 1 Featured on: Gurando no Mori

Ripped by Chaze the Chat

There's no shame in hiding it - SiIvaGunner, and more specifically Chaze, made me a full-on fan of Maroon 5. I'm unsure of how much of a shared experience it is, but for a very long time I effectively didn't listen to music outside of ones from the video games I played, as non-VGM just never did much for me. That feeling still lingers a slight bit for me, and I've speculated that its due to me feeling like I need some sort of prior attachment to the music in order for it to really click for me. A piece of music written for a boss fight just becomes all the more gripping when you can directly recall lines of dialogue from the boss fight, your original thoughts from when you played the fight, and the atmosphere presented as a whole.

My funky brain aside, having been a SiIva watcher for such a long time has given me a similar sort of attachment to many of its recurring jokes and memes. Thanks to Chaze, one of those recurring jokes just so happened to be Maroon 5, a band I was only partially familiar with beforehand. Through Chaze's repeated use of their songs, particularly in Season 1 and 2, it dawned on me just how many of them actually WERE familiar to me, and how much they actually did bang when I was actually invested in them. SiIva gives people a community to listen to music together with every two or four hours a day, along with having that music be intrinsically tied to media you likely are already familiar with. Such was the case for me here - the Animal Crossing Movie was one of my first true favorite films and one I cherish dearly, in large part due to its music, with K.K. Bossa in particular hitting me like a train on every visit.

A simple mashup though it be, its kind of a funky idea for one, isn't it? Mashing up tearjerking orchestral bossa nova with modern Maroon 5's typical radiopop doesn't feel like it should work, yet the mood of both songs still manage to shine through - the upbeat passion of Moves like Jagger, alongside the relaxing vibes and nostalgia of K.K. Bossa somehow blend together to form an absolutely stellar feel-good vibe. And right as I type this, listening to the song in the background, I hear my favorite little touch in the song - a discrete whistle of the Flintstones theme playing in the background of the song's end. Through the years I've had this track in my playlist for, that whistle always manages to take that happy feeling and turn it into something bittersweet, connecting the track to the Season 1 finale it was released so close to. The feelings that the channel was about to end were at an alltime high when this album released, and this song has always carried that weight in a really special way.

For me, there's lots of nostalgia present with this one. Lots of emotions, too. Never underestimate the potency of a well-placed mashup.

[rex101111]

Dunno why I haven't asked already (maybe I did and forgot) but if you had to pick which strive themes are your favorites and least favorites what would you go with? If you don't want to do the whole listing then maybe just a couple of standouts? I'd like to hear your opinion on stuff!

hey izzy i used this ask as an excuse to just listen to all the Strive themes for the first time in a while. So here's every character theme and my thoughts:

Find Your One Way: for the longest time I thought it was "own way" but whatever. Okay so this is where I put my cards on the table and say that Strive's overall kind of metal is kinda not my thing. Or at least it took a while for me to click with it since I still use the Rev2 soundtrack as a workout mix so I kinda have a bias. As such I think this song is fine but Give Me A Break is peak Sol so it just sounds to me like its trying to reach that same level and it. uh, doesn't for me. still cool though.

The Roar Of The Spark: and in a complete 180 from the previous song THIS ONE FUCKING ROCKS. Christian Hair Metal, fucking wonderful. From that keyboard intro, to that fucking sublime guitar solo, this one is so fucking good actually.

The Disaster Of Passion: In contrast to the metal (ironically enough) I adore Strive's "pop" themes. Every one of them makes me smile like a doopy dope. Seriously when May's trailer dropped I had "NONE. STOP. LOVE SONG!" on repeat in my head for like a month. So catchy. Really good drum work here also, underrated.

Out Of The Box: This song kinda passed me by honestly, so this was the first time I really sat down and listened to it all the way. Brit Rock can be hit or miss, but this is pretty fun! the Engrish is just bad enough that its really charming and the chill vibes fit Axl really well.

Play The Hero: You're saying this is the theme of a weeb? Never would have guessed. Okay real talk I fucking LOVE this one. Catchy, cheesy, uncomplicated Anime Butt Rock, if that doesn't describe Chipp Zanuff I don't know what does.

Armored-clad Faith: SOCIETY. YOUR SOCIETY. Okay meme-ing aside this one's great too. Gonna be honest though Bass Heavy Metal isn't really my cup of tea, but even despite that its still really catchy. Sometimes memes blind you to how good a song actually is. Chorus is the best part tho.

Alone Infection: To be honest this took a very long time to grow on me. Verging on Screamo didn't help it, and its honestly kinda weird. But hell, it did grow on me eventually. Not my favorite by any stretch but not bad.

Love the Subhuman Self: God what a banger and a half. If you don't sing along to the chorus there's something wrong with you. Also this is a song made in the current century that uses the phrase "bee's knees" in the wonderful way only people who don't speak English can manage. What a fucking miracle this song is, damn.

Let Me Carve Your Way: Bad news, horrible greasy shadow man has a pretty good theme he absolutely did not deserve. Tragic. Okay seriously this is pretty good, strong beat nice chorus and the end bit is nice contrast overall. Yeah its alright.

Necessary Discrepancy: Part of me still prefers Diva Of Despair, but this bangs so hard holy shit. From that weird ass electronic intro to the guitar and that climax, bro. Bro. Not my favorite but I'd say...third place.

Hellfire:

Ky:...Leo, I think you might be suffering with depression.

Leo: Depression!?!? What kind of nonsense are you spouting!?!? Can a guy with depression have a theme this rocking!?

Ky: Leo. Half of that song is you calling yourself a liar and hoping you die.

Seriously though another song I kinda slept on but its really good also can someone tie Leo to a chair and take him to a therapist? Thanks.

What do you fight for: Lesser than the sum of its parts. Like the chorus is good, the melody is nice, a few verses are cool. But its kind of a mess. There's a really nice solo, but it just kinda stuck a bit too early in the song for it to really built up to the climax properly. Crawl is better anyway.

Trigger: probably one of my least favorite, honestly. It just kinda meanders around without really coalesing into anything substantial and just like. refuses to pick up any momentum at all. it just changes itself up too often and its kinda tiring to listen to. Also the lyric "don't make a big deal out of me" is so ironic in hindsight when it turns out she contributed a big fat load of jack shit to the story mode of Strive. but that's a pile of meat that was once a horse I am kinda tired of beating so lets move on.

Rock Parade: MY FUCKING BOY IS DANCING AND IN LOVE. FUCKING LOOK AT HIM! God I love love love this one, so freaking good. It tells a story, its rocking, its catchy, and that that more gentle bit near the last third is so evocative. I always imagine him doing a fan dance during that part. Second favorite absolutely.

Requiem: Heavy Metal has always been I-No's signature sound and aesthetic, and mixing that with Alt Rock gives this one a pretty unique feel compared to her other themes. Midnight Carnival still stands on top as far as I-No themes go but this one ain't too shabby. Sick guitar solo, naturally.

Crawl: Intense, rocking, better than Nago's actual theme. Pretty gnarly boss theme.

The Kiss of Death: The only way to do good Industrial Metal is to go All In. And this song does that and then some. How the hell did this head banger get past me??? I'm genuinely baffled that a guy as big as Beef Dickinson managed to evade me for this long. Fuck yeah.

Perfection Can't Please Me: I really appreciate those call backs to Juno in this song since that one was one of my favorites in Xrd. Even with all my reservation with how the Aria plot got resolved I can't deny this song is a ton of fun. Though, hear me out, how fucking funny would it have been if they took Meet Again and remixed it into something this poppy?

Drift: My thoughts about this song are about the same as the thoughts I have about Happy Clappy himself. There are certainly things to like about this song, there are some really cool bits and riffs and the lyrics are cool, but it switches around so much its hard to really get attached to any one aspect of it. Like sometimes its really fun and bouncy, sometimes its rocking out, sometimes its pretentious because Chaos can't fucking help himself. I like it better than I did when it first came out, but still just kinda meh. The "Disney" bit still funny as all hell though.

Mirror of the World: Best song in the game. No. Zip! It is, no arguments will be accepted are entertained here. This song rocks, this song slaps, this song tells a story, not just the story Baiken is going through in Strive but her whole journey up till now. This song is soulful and harsh and beautiful and fucking everything. This isn't my Baiken Bias talking its just true don't argue with me just sit with me as we listen to Mirror of the World on loop for two hours and then You Will Understand.

Like a Weed, Naturally, as a Matter of Course: This song is just vibes honestly. A cool and smooth song about how just living for the sake of it is good enough, because if a weed can be why can't we? Also the pronouns getting changed every few words is like two steps away from screaming "THEY'RE NON-BINARY NOW PRETTY NEAT RIGHT?" and you know what that is neat.

The Town Inside Me: The most Song of all Trans. Seriously though this song is so much fucking fun. Probably my favorite "pop" theme of the three we have so far. Honestly it just feels like a complete, full song. Like you can just take this out of the game and play it on the radio it just feels like there's nothing missing here its awesome. Personally though, the thing I like the most in this song is how triumphant it is by the end. Bridget is out of the box and she ain't going back in, and she is glowing.

The Hourglass: His Xrd theme was honestly just okay so I was more open to give this one a fair shake. And honestly? Pretty fun! Nothing really major to say here except that it's peppy, positive, energetic, and has a nice strong sound to it. So, Sin, basically.

The Circle: I really, really wanted to like this song. I listened to it a few more times and I just. Can't connect with it. It's like Drift in that there's a lot of different things going on and also like Drift nothing really comes together here. I saw a post mocking people who don't like this song as people who only like music with wide appeal and to that person firstly fuck off with the gatekeeping and secondly just because a song has complex things going on or messes with the time signature doesn't automatically make it good and I just don't like this song because its a damn mess that barely coheres into something a bit more solid by the end but only just barely. Delilah deserves to be her own character if only so she can get a proper fucking song out of it.

[dandylovesturtles]

No. 3 for the writer ask meme!

oh anon now you've done it, you've hit me right where it hurts, at the intersection of my desire to ramble about all my ideas and my desire to keep things a secret!

I have rambled about a few things to a few people (you know who you are) but I can give a few bits under the read more~

I had an idea for a fic set during the 7th Annual Lair Games (which would be the year after Donnie won the 6th Annual Lair Games that appeared in the show) where Donnie and Leo's rivalry really came to a head and they ended up accidentally hurting each other and also getting lost together in the sewers (kind of Donnie's ankle getting twisted but on steroids lol) that led to the two of them talking things out and dragging their asses back to the lair together. I'm not sure I'll still write this fic because I'm working on something for the Slice of Life bang event that will hit similar emotional notes and also stars the disaster twins, but I do think about it occasionally. I know it contains this bit of dialogue: Donnie: We have to get back quickly or Raph and Mikey will DQ us! Leo: THAT'S what you're worried about!?

I had an idea for a fic where Donnie and Leo kidnapped a doctor because Mikey gets sick in a way that they can't fix themselves (cancer or something like that). At first it was literally just the idea of "Donnie and Leo kidnap a doctor" but then I started thinking about it too much and then ended up developing two entire OCs for it and aaaaaaaaaa Though the show doesn't delve into this (and is fine not to), I got really interested thinking about the idea of how you have this family that is isolated from society and the stakes are extremely high if someone were to find them, and what you do in that situation when something comes up that you just can't handle yourself. And then I also got interested in the idea of writing a story where we got a look at the family's dynamics from an outsider's perspective, seeing the love and care they all have for each other from a more detached view point. Also just... kind of the comedy of realizing you live in a comic book LOL Ms. Doctor: I just learned aliens are real and now there are mutant superhero teenagers, what is my life.

And for my last two I'll just give what I think the summaries would be on AO3 and nothing else. c:

3.

He heard it in his dreams: a voice he knew so well, hardened and weathered from a war that stretched endlessly but Mikey knew for only a day. It put a dream in his hands, one that seemed so impossible and yet so close.

Please, it said. Please save our family.

…

“Raph will never agree to this.”

“Well then, I guess we just won’t tell him until he absolutely has to know.”

Donnie’s grin matched his in all its mischievous intensity. “Ah, I see.” He held up his fist. “A classic Mikey/Donnie misadventure?”

Mikey bumped it. “Ah yeah, baby!”

“Excellent. Michael!” Donnie got to his feet, holding out his arms. “Let’s build a time machine!”

4.

Budding investigative journalist April O'Neil receives her next big tip: something strange is going on at a research facility on the outskirts of New York City.

She's expecting to find bioweapons research, illegal animal testing, or bizarre human experiments.

She isn't expecting to find a creature.

She isn't expecting it to ask for her help.

[anontalksforyoutolisten]

The Mind and the Body

Before you dive in, I want to issue a gentle warning. This piece ventures into deep, existential thinking—territory that can sometimes evoke discomfort or unease. If you’re not in the best mental space right now, I recommend holding off on this discussion. Your well-being is important, and it’s always okay to step back to care for yourself.

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of death, suicide.

Now, let’s begin.

I’ve always had a habit of falling into deep thought, endlessly cycling through questions. Some of them may seem trivial or absurd, but they all stem from a genuine curiosity, a desire to understand this strange, magnificent world. Other thoughts, though, plunge me into an overwhelming awareness of life itself.

“How did language and writing develop?”

“With every breath I take, someone is born and someone dies.”

This awareness can be paralyzing—the sense that time is constantly passing, that life and death are intertwined and inescapable. It’s the realization that at every moment, we are surrounded by both beginnings and endings.

“What are other people thinking?”

“How do their minds work?”

“Do they perceive the world the same way I do?”

It’s not just that others have thoughts—it’s that those thoughts are entirely distinct from our own. We take for granted that we each experience the world through a unique lens, but the mind is a vast and mysterious place. Your brain is lighting up with neurons as you read this, perhaps hearing your own internal voice recite these words. But what about everyone else? Their minds are just as intricate, yet completely different.

The human brain is an enigma—a marvel of evolution. Think about serial killers, for example. Their minds are wired to follow horrifying patterns. But why? What triggers that desire for destruction within them? How can someone detach from empathy, from the sanctity of life, for their own pleasure? What part of their brain lights up with the thrill of causing pain?

It’s a chilling thought: that some people find joy in the suffering of others. It’s a question that leads me down paths of self-awareness and true crime fascination alike.

But let’s pivot to an even more profound question: How did everything begin? We often turn to the Big Bang Theory, but that only scratches the surface. How did life—this pulsating, self-aware organism—first take shape? What ignited the spark that led to the world we inhabit today?

Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed by the fact that we, humans, seem to be the only species burdened by this level of self-awareness. Animals exist in a more blissful state, free from the existential weight we carry. Or are they? I wonder if they know more than we give them credit for.

We, on the other hand, are nothing more than neurons piloting a flesh vessel—a “meat suit,” as some call it. All our thoughts, our personalities, our sense of self are dictated by this three-pound organ in our skulls.

It reminds me of a meme: a conversation between God and an angel about the creation of humans. “You messed up a perfectly good monkey, that’s what you did. Look at it. It’s got anxiety.”

It’s funny but also profound. In giving us intelligence, perhaps something was lost. A once-simple being, now laden with stress, worry, and endless introspection.

I even learned that we aren’t the only creatures capable of suicide. According to research on animal behavior, “Animal suicide is when an animal intentionally ends its own life through its actions. It implies higher cognitive capacities, such as a concept of self, death, and future intention.” It seems intelligence can be just as dangerous as ignorance.

That’s a sobering thought, isn’t it? With all this awareness, are we ever truly safe?

Here’s the truth: safety is a relative concept. These thoughts—about life, death, the mind, and the body—have brewed in my mind for years. They can be unsettling, but they’re just that: thoughts. In reality, you are safe. You’re likely reading this from the comfort of your home or surrounded by people who love you. You are safe. You are grounded. You are loved.

If today’s discussion has been heavy for you, I encourage you to reach out for support. The world can be overwhelming, but you’re not alone.

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

Languages: English, Spanish

Hours: Available 24/7

988lifeline.org

I invite you to share your thoughts—whether it’s a theory of your own or a question. This space is for dialogue and discovery. I don’t claim to be an expert; I’m just deeply curious about the universe we inhabit. Let’s learn together.

Animal Suicide Wiki

Last Note: I also want to explore how certain behaviors and traits we exhibit as humans mirror those found in other animal kingdoms—a topic that’s been discussed many times before, but one I think deserves further reflection.

[danthepest]

Its always interesting to see the difference between how fans who have seen/read OG Dragon Ball before Z and fans who only watched Z perceive Yamcha as a character. Doubly so if they only watched the English dubs.

Z-only viewers treat Yamcha as this pathetic loser who is a regular cheater/womanizer and that of course Bulma would dump him for the murderous space pirate who barely a couple of years ago was indirectly responsible for his death among others.

Fans who have followed DB from the beginning know Yamcha is none of those things. Aside from his stint as a bandit, he was nothing but a firendly, helpful and respectful dude. Hell, it was Bulma who drove him away twice over petty nonsense and he still hoped that there was a future for them together. Their relationship was pretty toxic at times. Him cheating on her was a dub line and for some reason Toriyama decided that it totally makes sense Yamcha is a sudden cheater when it was Bulma who was drooling after every attractive dude before she settled on Vegeta. Gotta justify her banging the unrepentent space pirate somehow.

He took on the Saibaman for Krillin not out of arrogance, but to avoid the risk of Krillin dying again. At the time a second death would have been permanent. And he beat the little plant gremlin and was only killed due to the surprise attack, not because he was weak. To most OG fans, this wasn’t a meme or a lol-yamcha-so-weak moment. It was a shocking and iconic moment that really raised the stakes for the battle.

The whole womanizer thing is usually brought up or implied in the games and the like, but the main series shows no evidence of it. Trunks says his mom told him that he cheated, but as mentioned above, I take it with a container’s worth of salt.

And Yamcha could’ve easily been a prick about it. He was saddened, but he didn’t resent Bulma or Vegeta or even Trunks. He was humble enough to get out of the way during the Android scuffle since he knew he was dead weight by then and as such opted to take care of one of his oldest friends while the others kept fighting. It was Yamcha who told Trunks about how Vegeta reacted to Cell killing him. He didn’t have to do it, but did it anyway. When Vegeta had his dumbass Majin stint and then died, Yamcha comforted Bulma but never tried to take advantage of her. If that isn’t a good dude right there, I don’t know what is.

And before someone gives the “But Toriyama said” spiel, keep in mind that he manages to contradict himself multiple times with regards to Yamcha’s “womanizing ways”.

“Oh, he cheats now that he’s more confident”

“He has a girlfriend at the end of the Cell arc”

“No wait, he hasn’t really gotten over his fear of women, but worked as host in a host bar and then lost his job and lived with Tenshinhan and Chaozu for a bit”

Toriyama has always been forgetful towards his own series. His infamous conversation with Oda when Oda had to remind him who Tao was. He forgot Super Saiyan 2 was a thing. He forgot to draw Launch in the Boo arc and replaced her with #17. He fucking forgot that the recent Dragon Ball anime/manga was called DB Super, which is why the last movie was called Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero. So a lot of what the guy says in interviews is most likely the result of him making shit up on the fly because people just wouldn’t let Dragon Ball end.

Basically, Yamcha was the sacrificial lamp for most of the series. Was given a bad hand multiple times and is still a good dude in spite of it. I could write for days on how many issues I have with the Dragon Team just accepts Vegeta before he actually shows any redeeming qualities.

[1-up-chump]

@mrstsung here. Hee hee.

Gonna be the first ask. I'll keep it simple.

GN pronouns. :3 <3

What fluffy hcs you got for shang tsung,raiden,fujin,and kung lao?

SORRY this took a bit to answer lol (got distracted)

Shang tsung:

usually this man pulls out the klassic nicknames a villain of his stature would give. "Darling" "love" "my dear" "my flower" but there would be one little nickname he'll give only to one who has his heart and soul. "Little mao mao" (which is "meow" in Chinese. Like "nya" is meow in Japanese)

Shang tsung sings and dances really good, however he doesn't like to do this in front of ANYONE. He feels insecure in an odd way, highly unusual for someone so full of himself. Perhaps such a simple, genuine, innocuous and human act would tarnish his reputation of "evil sorcerer". Perhaps he doesn't wish to be made fun of for something he genuinely and deeply enjoys.

If shang tsung's beloved is sick, he will strongly fret over them. He'll be annoyed like "clearly you should take better care of yourself" and bombard them with the finest medicine and highest quality tea and tiger balm (works wonders). He may appear annoyed and inconvenienced but really he's screaming on the inside bc that's the only person he ever gave half a shit about, let alone a whole shit about. Shang tsung will have what he desires and not even the elder gods are gonna take his beloved away without a fight.

Raiden:

Raiden takes note of how people like their tea or (elder gods forbid) coffee, and makes sure to make it exactly how they like it. Also raiden has a disdain for drinking coffee himself, despite liking the smell of it. Regardless of how much he shit talks sonya for drinking coffee, if he's making drinks he'll make it how she likes it. Pitch black with only half a spoon of sugar.

Raiden picks up modern day jokes just enough to have a basic understanding, and its not hard for him to get it as humans often repeat history a lot. So occasionally if someone tries to hit him with a "bofa" joke, he knows how to turn it around. All gods like to troll mortals every now and then. Wouldn't you if you were eons old?

Raiden might be serious at times, but will always indulge a tiny child's wish to play around. He knows when a kid wants to hide his hat away to spend more time with him and raiden pretends to totally not see the obvious place it's hidden at. Children's laughter always warms his heart and its hard for him to not smile at such sweet innocence only a kid could have.

Fujin:

Likes to make paper cranes and use the wind to blow them around, occasionally making tons of origami animals to create a scene with wind blowing them to life.

Some memes fujin gets and other times it flys quite literally over his head. Many times the victim of cassie cage's classic "master bofa detsu" joke. And yet surprises everyone with an "amongus" joke.

As a wind god and protector of earthrealm, it's not his only job, For annoying his brother by touching his stuff is what any good sibling does. Fujin bangs on raiden's taiko drums when raiden specifically tells him NOT to TOUCH. Fujin has been struck by many a thunder and lightning, but it's worth it.

Kung lao:

He takes good care of the rabbit in his hat (yes he does absolutely have a rabbit in his hat) and doesn't even mind it's actually a demon trapped in the body of a fluffy rabbit. For it befriended the great kung lao a long time ago and attached itself to his hat (that is now kung lao's, which has been modified with the blade)

Kung lao likes to whittle wood. He's very good at making tons of small wooden figures. One time, he and night wolf spent half an entire day making small wooden animals and talking about many things. Kung lao has made an entire wooden train track, complete with a wooden train. And it's his greatest creation.

Kung lao likes hip hop and rap, it surprises everyone except liu kang, who shares his taste. Although liu kang prefers old school rap. They both love dancing and if given the opportunity, tear up the dancefloor like nobody's business.

[photon-bytez]

4th Anniversary Special; Top 10 Vampires

4 years… Holy hell, it’s already been that long? Might as well do something to celebrate. Now, what’s something that I love beyond all reasonable measure and won’t shut the hell up about? What’s pale, supernatural, and blood-thirsty that I’m hooked for…?

*GASP!* I got it!  VAMPIR-

Oh…Lemme fix this for a bit.

There we go…VAMPIRES! I love me some vampires! Many of you know that I’m a sucker (Geddit?) for these goofy creatures of the night. Hell, one of my own OCs IS a vampire! Since we’ve started this blog with vampires, why not celebrate by countin’ down my top 10 favorite vamps? If we ignore both that stupid Morbin meme and those godawful books made by a delusional, racist cow (That last part’s real, btw), we can wash all of that out by talking about a bunch of silly bloodsuckers for a good few minutes. Better get some garlic and wooden stakes ready, cuz’ we’re about to go full-blown Bela Legosi all up in this mother! This, ladies, gentlemen, and others, is my Top 10 Vampires!

10. Malzeno (Monster Hunter Rise; Sunbreak)

The first (And newest) “vampire” on this list, and it’s not even a vampire! What gives!? I’ll tell ya what gives! Malzeno is rad as hell! While it’s only here because as of me writing this, Sunbreak is just about to come out, and we still don’t know everything about this silvery Drac-drake. Not only is it one of the best Elder Dragons in the series, it has a killer theme (As per usual with most of the themes in MH), and its design captures all of the charm as a regular vampire. I’m not a regular Monster Hunter player, but mark my words, I can bet that people are planning to make a badass cape from its wings once they slay it. Guess it pays to be THIS banging, huh?

9. Count Von Count (Sesame Street)

Yes���I’m including the counting vampire puppet. Try and stop me, PIGS! While he’s not the perfect example of a vampire (Blood-sucking is a huge no-no for a kid’s show), the Count has a good few traits related to vamps. Also, for those who aren’t used to vampire lore, the Count’s obsession with counting actually has some roots in vampire mythology, as one of a vampire’s lesser-known weaknesses is a compulsive need to count things, giving their victims enough time to escape. Is that why he hasn’t tried to attack and drain the residents of Sesame Street? Nah, he would never do such a thing!

8. Wilhamena (OK K.O.! Let’s Be Heroes)

Here she is, folks; One of the most beloved (And lewded-on) vampiresses we’ve seen in quite some time. What could I say about Enid’s hot vampire momma that hasn’t already been said? People love her that much. Wilhamea here is an example of one of my favorite type of vampire; Tall, with a long dress that covers their whole body, along with massive hair, and well-endowed hourglass figure. It helps that Wilhamena’s a certified MILF.

7. Slayer (Guilty Gear)

One of the classiest vampires on this list, Slayer is a true gentleman. While he maybe a creature of the night, Slayer is actually one of the good guys. Not only does he enjoy a good, fair battle, but he also aids Millia Rage in her quest and gives her helpful advise. Hell, his own wife is okay with being drained, having more than enough blood to go around for him. We can always use a guy like Slayer.

(Credit to Bogleech for the depiction seen here)

6. Pentasite (Mortasheen)

Yes...this...THING counts as a vampire. Ya see, in the world of Mortasheen (An ongoing RPG project made by the wonderful @bogleech​ ), vampires are monstrous, telekinetic animals affected by an ancient virus from the deep sea. It’s only in the last few eons that these bizarre, blood-sucking beasts started to haul themselves onto dry land. As for Pentasite? Well, I’m gonna let its official description do the work.

“This large Echinoderm mutation achieves sentience without a central brain and amazing agility without a muscle structure. It is one of the few vampires capable of reproduction without parasitic implantation in a living host, as any portion severed from its body will slowly develop into a complete creature. Like a normal starfish, the Pentasite regurgitates its stomach over prey, but no longer uses the organ in digestion. Rather, the stomach is utilized only as a sticky net to constrict prey and drag it towards the blood-sucking teeth.”

Scary, huh?

5. Seras Victoria (Hellsing: Ultimate)

I’m not the biggest anime buff around, you should all know that. With all of that said...How did a show popped out a vampire girl that goes this hard? Seras is the right combination of cute, sexy, badass, and horrifying that I could ask for in a vampire girl character. I could learn alot more about Hellsing, huh?

Also, Police Girl is a golden nickname in terms of comedy.

4. Alucard (Castlevania)

Oh, what. Ya thought that I was gonna follow up Police Girl with her master? You’ve must’ve gotten your Alucards wrong. The Alucard I’m bringing up ain’t Dracula...He’s merely the son of him. Thankfully for all of mankind, Alucard chosen to become a hero, defying his evil father and his wicked ways. There are alot of characters out there who deserve a spot in Smash, and this sword-wielding dhampir is ONE of the biggest. He was already an Assist Trophy in Ultimate, so what’s stopping Konami and Nintendo from adding him into the next Smash game?

...On second thought, the stupid “enefftees” that Konami were making, along with the various slip-ups made by Nintendo may already answered that.

3. Globert (Mixels)

Yeah, yeah. I’m well aware that the Glowkies are technically NOT “vampires”, but since they’re the closest we’ll ever get to a vampire in the Mixelverse, I’ll let it slide. Globert is basically the living personification of “flanboyant”. He hosts parties, sings and dances, he and his whole crew live in a cave on the Mixel Moon, and don’t get me started on how he dresses. If you’re looking for the ultimate party animal to host your shindig, here’s your answer!

(Credit to Daria Cohen for the art seen here)

2. Duke and Missi (The Vampair)

That’s right, I’m puttin’ both Duke and Missi together for a single spot on this very list! To tell you all the truth, the vampy-ness of these two grows the strongest when they’re together. Ever since their series got the love that it deserves years ago, I’ve been keeping up with it and their antics. I even graduated high school a few days after the season finale came out, and I first discovered the show early on in my freshman year! I’ve come full circle with these two, haven’t I?

And finally, for number 1...

You already knew who it is, so let’s just get down to brass tax, shall we?

1. Vampire Twins (Johnny Test)

As much as V-Mary is my favorite character of all time, I couldn’t leave Susan out of this. Besides, they’re basically the mascots of this very blog! On this day, 4 years ago, my first ever post on this site featured the V-Twins, and I’ve certainly done alot with them since then, huh? From requesting fanart to a bunch of other artists like a weirdo, to stepping up to the plate and starting my own art career out of a want to bring these two back in a big way. I honestly have the Vampire Twins to thank for inspiring me to become an artist at all.

And there have ya have it! It’s been 4 years since this blog began. I’ve been through alot; Hopping onto other sites, picking up art-making as a hobby, making new friends, etc, it’s been a long, wild journey for me so far, and I’m excited to see what comes next. Thank you all so much for reading, and here’s to another 4 years and beyond!

[alkcomics]

Been making an effort to listen to at least one new album every month for a while now. The first year anniversary of the pandemic hitting felt like as good a time as ever to take stock of what I’ve been digging and share it with y’all.

Seeing this all helps me really feel the passing of time, which has been difficult with the lockdown isolation and depression. Album names link to a choice song on Bandcamp (when I can) or YouTube (when I can’t) in case anyone else out there feeling like a sad zoo animal wants to spice up the cage for a few minutes.

Hope y’all dig. Cheers!

2019 New Music

September | Ahmed Fakroun | “Did you like the musical texture of the Land Down Under song but wished it were sad Libyan disco instead? Well have I got the album for you.” Seriously though, Njoom Al Leyel is probably the most gorgeous song in existence

November | Patience by Mannequin Pussy | All the feels of the Joan of Arc/Kinsella bros Philly emo scene; rad female vocalist and one of the last live shows I saw before the shutdown

December | Devil is Fine by Zeal & Ardor | High concept music project mixing American Black folk with black metal; totally delivers on the premise

2020 New Music

January | Jaago by Lifafa | Vernacular electronic music project of Suryakant Sawhney; chill vibes and gorgeous lyrics

February | On by Altın Gün | The 70s psychedelic revival in Turkish rock music right now is my jam, and I’d be wearing lines in the vinyl if I had a physical copy of this album (waiting til next Bandcamp day to order)

March | Grab that Gun by the Organ | This album fell neatly into my life from the first driving bass line. Dunno how I missed it when it came out. Equal thirds Screaming Females, Joy Division, and it’s own dang thing

April | Dust by I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness | The dark indie pop post rock of your dreams

May | Savage Times by Hanni El Khatib | Come for the punk bangers, stay for the disco tear-jerkers. Hanni El Khatib delivers again

June | Antiphon by Alpha Mist | My cousin rec’d Kamasi Washington and I realized I was woefully illiterate in modern jazz. Very chill jazz sophisticated through the lens of hip-hop; echoings of J Dilla

July | Windflower by Herb Ellis & Remo Palmier | Jazz guitar album from the late 70s I’d never heard; melodic and exuding the feelings of death and renewal that come with spring

August | Space Echo: The Mystery Behind the Cosmic Sound of Cabo Verde Finally Revealed! by Various (collected by Analog Africa) | So much good 70s electronica from Africa, and this is a fantastic compilation of different artists with a very insane backstory

September | Drowner’s Wives by Monte Luna | Old school garage heavy feeling; just some good dark psych metal

October | Conference of the Birds by OM | Not my favorite OM album but one I’d never gotten to hear before and perfectly emblematic of why I fucking love them. Search the reddit thread of stoned grad students pouring over the lyrics to add the cherry on top

November | The June Frost by Mournful Congregation | Textured metal outfit from Australia with the range of black metal but the tone of doom

December | Life Metal by Sun O))) | As someone put it recently, this album is the soundtrack to the big bang. Monoliths & Dimensions always overshadowed it before, but after really giving it the time of day I say why pit two kings against each other. I think actually they were talking about M&D with that quote. Y’all ever been sent that meme with Sunn O))) and a vacuum cleaner that’s all “where’s the difference?” Not to take the funny seriously, but the difference is my cats lose their g-damn minds when the vacuum is on but absolutely vibe when Sunn O))) blasts through the airwaves -- which, luckily for them, is much more often than when I vacuum

2021 New Music

January | Liberty Bell by DARKSIDE | Dark electrowave - not a genre of music I generally flock to but I could and have listened to this song on repeat for days

February | What’s Your Pleasure by Jessie Ware | 2021 is about trying to branch out more, and I also don’t usually gravitate toward pop... but you give me a new disco record titled from a Hellraiser quote and I’ll fucking stan

March | Veils of Winter by Blackwater Holylight | ‘Motorcycle’ starts out doom, then gets stoner psych, then goes full dark hippy butt rock guitar riff with dreamy vocal goodness. The rest of the album loses the butt rock but you bet your butts my neighbors are tired of hearing it

April | Celestial by ISIS | A standby of post-metal glory that I’d never really heard in its entirety til now. ‘C.F.T’ is my favorite, but as an avid Earth fan it’s the easy choice. Perfect soundtrack to the warming spring nights, which in the words of a dear friend, are ‘for acid and metal’

---

Ask box is always open if anyone’s got some good jams they want to share my way. Love y’all

[cotccotc]

┈┈ 𝐬𝐤𝐳 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬/𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜 *:･ﾟ

✩ ot8 reaction headcannon, 2.5k words (eek sorry)

✩ genre/s: **fluff**, humor, established relationship, ot8 x gender neutral!reader

✩ warning/s: MOBILE TUMBLR HATES ME (some gifs & author’s note might not appear),,,, my terrible sense of humor/commentary, a couple of them are suggestive if you  s q u i n t

✩ a/n: idk if the concept makes any sense but it does in my mind \_( ‘-’ )_/ also seungmin’s part is the exact same kinda similar to a brief scenario in my txt soobin “brightest blue” fic... but it’s fineee. also i’m sorry that some are longer than others! enjoy :))

chan:

chan is definitely extremely interested in the music you listen to.

in fact, sometimes he’d probably insist that you show him your current playlist from start to finish lol.

i can imagine y’all hanging out at the dorms, maybe even mid-cuddle, listening to some of your recent favorites.

but there’s this ONE SONG--

your absolute JAM

you get up from your seat or the bed and start completely jamming out.

he stays where he is so he can watch you have the time of your life.

i guess nobody told him you’re a professional lip syncer… awk...

you grab a hairbrush and hold it up like it’s a microphone.

honestly you’re thriving,,

he’s kinda stunned. not in a bad way, but he’s just so mezmorized by how cute (and maybe a lil sexy) you are when you dance like no one’s watching.

there’s a particularly awesome beat drop toward the end of the song, which leads you to do some equally awesome head banging.

he’s cackling at this point, which drives you to act even sillier.

*ending pose*

once the song ends and you’re trying to catch your breath, he slowly starts clapping for you.

“the song was great, but the performance was even better,” he’d say, coming off a bit sarcastic. but he means well!

you start to get a bit self-conscious and shy as you put yourself together again.

he’ll try to comfort you, standing up to wrap you in a hug.

“don’t be embarrassed!” (cue soft chan),

“baby that was awesome”,

“you should join a rock band!”, etc.

overall, he’d love it when you share your music taste, and this event will probably set off a chain reaction of similar jam sessions in the future.

minho:

ok so we all know minho’s a cat person, blah blah blah...

but what if you got super excited about a really cute dog?

let’s say you’re on a walk at a park, holding hands, and talking.

all of a sudden you see someone walking their dog…

and when i tell you this is the cutest, tiniest dog on the face of the earth,,,

you immediately stop walking and squeeze minho’s hand. you point to the dog and start freaking out because it’s so cute.

he’d say something silly like, “what are you talking about? it looks like a rat.”

you disregard it because you’re just so excited about this puppy!

“can we pet it?” you ask.

“... fine” he replies, smiling at you, despite his attempts to act uninterested.

y’all go over to the woman walking her dog and ask if you can pet the puppy. when she says you can pet him, you immediately sit on the ground, ready to have the best puppy playdate of your life.

minho’s still standing, watching you with loving eyes.

of course, you start talking to the puppy as if he’s a baby. minho laughs, trying to stifle all the uwus emanating from his heart

the puppy climbs onto your lap and licks your face just a little bit.

you look up at minho with wide eyes, saying “awww, isn’t he so cute!”

he’d playfully roll his eyes because why would he cheat on cats like that…

then you tug on his hand, motioning for him to sit with you. he does, reluctantly.

you place the puppy on his lap to see what happens.

the dog loves him! (of course, because what living thing wouldn’t love lee minho?)

the puppy is licking minho all over as he makes faces of disgust and struggles to pull him away.

you laugh out loud, happier than ever at the two very good boys in front of you.

he smiles again, completely endeared with your excitement despite being covered in puppy spit...

so, it doesn’t matter what kinds of animals you two prefer, since you’re the cutest thing he’s ever seen. (aww)

changbin:

i feel like changbin is the type to not be ashamed of/shy about showing you the songs he’s writing.

...except for right now.

he just got home from the studio, dropping his bag onto a table… but some papers fall out.

you attempt to grab the papers, but changbin stops you and grabs them himself instead with a subtle hint of nervousness.

pretty suspicious if you ask me.

“what’s up?” you ask, a bit confused about what just happened.

he’d try to play it off like nothing suspicious was going on, but you know his poker face.

it’s too cute not to notice.

he likes to play all tough but you (and everyone else tbh) know him better than that.

you go to grab the papers, but he steps away. you try again… and again, and again, and again.

you become increasingly more frustrated and impatient with each attempt, until changbin holds them up high in the air where you can’t reach them. he has a look on his face that says ‘haha! gotcha!’

you’ve never done this much jumping in your life.

but you’re not a quitter.

“okay… i give up,” you say, returning to a stationary position and placing your arms around his neck.

however, just as he lowers his hands to your waist, you snatch the papers!

“AHA!” you exclaim.

all he can say is “damn it!” as you scramble to the couch with the papers in your hand. you sit facing away from him, attempting to speed-read the lyrics sprawled across the pages.

he follows you to the couch, trying to take the papers back from behind.

“binnie, these are so good!!”

“thanks… but were they worth betraying your innocent boyfriend?”

“yes. every word.” you finally hand him back the papers with a smirk.

he’d curse under his breath, ditching the papers in favor of tickling you instead.

what a terrible punishment!

hyunjin:

we all know hyunjin is a drama queen,,

you can be a bit of a dramatic person yourself (who isn’t?).

so when you lose your favorite sweater, you’re immediately going on a wild goose chase around the dorms, because that’s where you had it last.

you’re practically talking to yourself. double checking everywhere you’d been. retracing your steps like a mad person.

you need this sweater!!

you let out a little “urgh!” as you begin getting frustrated.

hyunjin would ask what’s wrong, and when you tell him, he’d GASP.

he’d be like:

“have you checked under the bed?”

“the couch?”

“what about over here?”

“over there?”

this boy will not REST until the sweater is back in your possession, wasting no time in matching your level of concern/dramatics...

… if not exceeding it.

y’all have practically torn the whole room apart at this point.

until finally, you find it in a random drawer (of course smh)

“I FOUND IT!” you’d exclaim, flopping onto the bed and putting the sweater on,

to which you’d receive a “YAY!” in return

tired and leaning against a wall, he’d say something like, “thank GOD! now, why do you need it so bad?”

and you’d simply and softly respond, “... i got chilly~”

he wouldn’t give a verbal response, but his face would go from relaxed to ‘bruh’.

you knew he’d be shocked at your statement, but you choose to tease him instead with a smile.

he would then opt to tackle you in the bed, fumbling with the covers and vowing to make you as warm as humanly possible.

jisung:

jisung definitely loves showing you the music he’s been working on, just like changbin.

except… this time, the lyrics aren’t necessarily what you’re used to hearing.

you can tell jisung’s a bit nervous as he presses play, choosing to keep his eyes on the floor as he nods his head to the rap.

you’re listening intently, as curious and excited as you are every other time…

but then you realize that it’s about you……

the lyrics talk about letting someone into his life and his longing to be even closer to that person than he is now.

therefore,,,,   u w u

you giggle, which prompts him to look up at you almost immediately with anticipation about your reaction.

you decide to wait until the end of the song to react, but you can already feel the excitement bubbling up inside of you.

the song ends, and you’re sitting in silence alongside jisung. “so… what did you think?”

“well… i think…” you trail off, looking into jisung’s eyes.

with a bit of a squeal you leap up from your seat and essentially attack him.

you straddle his legs (don’t get any *ideas* this is FLUFF for goodness sake) and wrap your arms around his neck, locking him into a big hug.

“i love it, baby. so, so, so, much,” you respond quickly and genuinely.

he laughs, his arms wrapping around you.

he’d probably remark, “you scared me for a second!”

you laugh in response, apologizing for your delayed reaction.

deep down, he’d feel so relieved that you liked the song and its sentiment.

he’d also be so happy to have you, his overexcited sweetheart, in his arms.

however, at the surface, he’d prefer to tease you. “next time, don’t make me wait so long!”

felix:

ok so y’all send memes and tik toks back and forth all day every day. it’s just protocal.

also,,, you could literally be in the same room, and he’d still just start sending you tik toks he’d saved just to send to you and see your reaction.

but there’s this   o n e

you can’t quite explain why but when you watch the tik tok that your boyfriend sent you from across the couch, you laugh harder than you’ve ever laughed before.

whatever humor you may have, this tik tok completely encompasses it in a beautiful, stupid way.

before you know it, you begin cackling.

felix knows that you’ve always been a bit embarrassed of your laugh (who isn’t, right?), so when you start letting loose he’s a bit caught off guard.

still, he joins in (at a smaller scale, of couse).

he always wants to see you happy, but this is a whole new level of cuteness in his eyes.

your laughter subsides a bit...

until you decide to watch the tik tok again.

believe it or not, it’s even funnier the second time!

you double over, laughing so hard that no sound is even coming out of your mouth.

“are you okay?!” he’d ask, laughing harder now at your actions.

he’d put his arms around you so he could hold you up.

you’d mouth out a “no” in response.

there are practically tears forming at the corners of your eyes.

he’d continue looking down at you with a beaming smile, holding you up until your laughter comes to a full stop.

“was it really that funny? i can’t even make you laugh like this.”

you’re almost dazed, your stomach hurting (in the best way possible). you try to steady your breathing.

after a few seconds of recovery, he’d whisper in your ear with a deep, silly voice...

“...wanna watch it again?”

it’s safe to say you won’t fully recover for a while.

seungmin:

on days off, you watch dramas with seungmin to take both of your minds off of work/school/whatever’s been keeping you busy.

however… of course you can’t go a whole episode without laughing hysterically, and it’s all because of seungmin.

it could be the most dramatic, intense, or heartbreaking scene in the show but he would make it into a full blown impersonation comedy routine.

ESPECIALLY if the drama is in a foreign language.

this boy will reinact all of the subs in the stupidest way possible.

but, today he’s a bit exhausted, snuggling up against you and not saying much.

our boys work too hard :((   (but wbk)

...so you decide to take his place.

you start off kind of hesitantly, waiting to see if he’d even react. when the main characters start to have an argument, you begin reading the subtitles in a silly voice.

you hear a soft giggle from your boyfriend has be tightens his arm’s grip around your waist.

you begin to use different voices for each of the two characters, alternating between a nasly, high pitched one and a lower one with voice cracks. this makes seungmin laugh harder, going from a giggle to his usual open-mouthed chuckle.

he’s so cute >_< ,,anyways…

as the scene intensifies, so does the volume of your impersonations.

“yOu’Ve bEtRaYeD mE!”

“BuT yOu LiEd tO mE!”

at this point seungmin is cackling despite his heavy eyes and unwillingness to move. he’d be so caught up in your routine that he’d forget he was even tired.

you look up at him to see that big smile and those sparkly eyes you love so much, which motivates you to be even goofier!

you sit up, leaving seungmin’s grasp. you begin making hand gestures to match your overdramatic tone.

the scene comes to a climax, in which you recite the final line with more ferver and fake passion than ever before. you finish it off with a fist in the air for ~emphasis~.

as you hold this pose, you hear your loyal audience member begin to cheer for you. he claps, whisper-shouting “ahh” to create fake crowd noises.

“what a show!” he would commend you with an expression of sarcastic awe on his face.

you’re really glad you decided to cheer him up…

but not nearly as glad as he is to have you with him on a day like this.

jeongin:

jeongin’s smile could literally melt anyone’s heart. everybody knows this.

i don’t care who you are, if you see jeongin smile, you either smile or cry and there are no other options.

i don’t make the rules.

so, when he shows you the ‘lovestay’ version of his latest dance practice, you’re bound to go insane with adoration.

as soon as his solo comes up and the camera zooms in on his sweet, smiling face, you give his cheek a little poke

you say, “that’s you!”

“shut up,” he’d respond, giggling.

“wait, i missed something,” you say with a sense of urgency. you take the phone from his hands, rewinding a few seconds.

he’d roll his eyes at you, getting a bit shy.

you resume the video until the boy in the video holds up a finger heart, at which point you press pause.

“look how cute!” you exclaim, looking up at jeongin and pointing back and forth between him and the screen.

“stop it!” he’s blushing (and you’re screaming internally at how cute he is) as he tries to refrain from making a big smile.

you poke his side, resulting in a small fit of laughter that forces his bright grin to peek out.

he swats your hand away, putting his arm around you

(partly to show his affection and partly to make you hold still)

you place your head onto his shoulder, resuming the video for the final time. “you’re too cute. i can’t help it.”

“but you’re the cutest...” he murmurs, almost inaudibly to someone who isn’t as close to him as you are now.

heat rises in your face.

you: “...stop…”

him: “hah!”

touché...

©️ cotccotc 2020 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[huniebunny]

Hi! I just followed and I realized your matchups are open may I please have a a creepypasta matchup only when you have time of course! :)

♡ My name is chavella but I like the nickname CC or koi!

♡ i am 18 years old

♡ my sexuality is bisexual but im not sure because I actually think im demisexual (sexuality is so confusing but fun to explore LOL)

♡ im nonbinary

♡ i have brown hair with bangs, my hairstyle is a wolfcut, I luv it so much.

My eye color is hazel but it has a dark brown at first, my hair was dirty blonde but it turned dark brown ;w;

♡ my outfits and appearance consistent of many different things, i mostly wear video game t-shirts when im out but when im going somewhere to eat i dress more gothic, I also wear rings and jewelry with my outfits! I change my outfits alot though it depends on my mood lolz

♡ my personality is usually chill iove helping others and I talk to those who.are close to me, though it takes me awhile to open up towards others im pretty stubborn as well, im ambiverted too.

♡ when I get angry oh jeez its like a fire you can't put out i hate being angry though it makes me feel bad and want to apologize for everything, like sometimes I say things I don't mean then the guilt happens like ughhh its complicated for me im too blunt to say certain things

♡ when im sad or low on energy I sometimes sleep alot or I listen to music all day, feeling more unmotivated like I did. Sometimes I need someone to bother me since I bother everyone else sometimes

♡ I make alot of jokes, I dont care if its bad puns or not ill still laugh at them, and yes I make memes to cope with pain

♡ im not really experienced with relationships i had very bad ones in the past so im just awkward all the time until I get comfortable

♡ my love language is quality time and giving gifts!

♡ I play alot of video games like the retro ones but new games are really cool too.

I like to listen to anykind of music, I live for music basically.

♡ I like to learn new things and experience outside of the world like traveling, I want to go to Paris someday it'll make me very happy! I also love to read books when I have time and maybe do gardening as well

♡ my favorite colors are maroon, dark pink, forest green, dark purple and plain black

♡ i love animals especially cats & bunnies!

♡ ermmm thats all I can think of for now but if you need anymore info let me know! :DD

You’re Matched With…

Ben Drowned!!!

What's your relationship to them?

Lover | Friend | Family | Acquaintance | Annoyance | Rival | Enemy

How did you meet?

Ben was just fucking around with a few random computers when he noticed one of your playlists popped up. He peeked in your room through your device and saw you laid across your bed. He grinned and changed the song to one of his favorites, watching as you turned over in confusion to change it back. This happened a few more times before he popped out to introduce himself.

First impressions?

He peeks through your device often to watch you live your life. He likes your style, especially the retro game t-shirts.

General Dynamic:

It actually takes a while for Ben to really talk to you after that first meeting. But he often fucks around with your devices to rile you up.

Whenever you say something you didn’t mean and realize it was him, he pops his head out laughing and grinning because he loves fucking with you.

You never have to worry about being mad around him; he can take whatever you got like a champ.

During one time of digging through your files, he finds that you wanted to travel around. So he zips through to Paris and nabs a souvenir that he leaves on your bedside table. Through, totally legit means, yeah….

Every so often, he leaves a little message on your device to remind you to at least take care of yourself on your low-bones days.

Whenever he has more free time than usual, he spends it with you, playing the newest games (that he still got through legitimate means, thank you) as well as old ones that he used to enjoy.

He still plays one of his favorites on your playlist, but smiles to himself when he finds that you just listen to it instead of changing the song back.

TMI:

When he had the first signs of love towards you, he didn’t know what was going on. He checked for viruses or if he was his version of “sick”, but none of it. You just make him incredibly flustered.

He couldn’t just confront you about it. You’d try to “help” and he was pretty sure that would only make things worse.

He accidentally let it slip when he watched you rage at a level you were stuck on. His face went both red and green in his embarrassment and humiliation and hid away in your device to avoid answering you.

After you both settled on a casual, but exclusive relationship, he eventually got back to normal. He liked being around you, and a change in dynamics isn’t going to stop that just yet.

But, now he peeked into your room for ultimately new reasons now. After all, as your boyfriend, he should get some special benefits of having access to your devices.

He manages to convince Puppeteer to enchant a plushie of your favorite fictional animal and he leaves it on your bed for you to find later.

Other notes:

Ben is such a tease, but he loves you regardless! He’s absolutely willing to spoil you with gifts and spend as much time as he could with you.

[ghostcat3000]

Now that you've set Ludacris' Area Codes on repeat in my brain...would you answer F, I, N?

I get any number of Ludacris songs stuck in my head at the weirdest times. It's a problem.

F. Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic?

I don't know if it's hurt/comfort--that term always makes me think people should be getting tucked in and given soup and hugs...and my definition of hurt/comfort in fic is, "am I having feelings? did the writer make it better?"--but the currently removed from AO3 but hopefully will be returned someday A Silky Nightmare by @nicolinocolino. This SKAM AU takes place in the 1970s when homosexuality was still illegal in Norway and it adds this incredible weight to the Even/Isak story. It is sensual, funny, smart, and true. I had a lot of feelings reading it, like legit ache in my chest, and in the end, the writer made it all better. Prayer vigil for its return until then, let me just say, I've never sobbed at two people being able to close a door and lock it before. SO.

I know this answer surprises you not one bit, Raz.

I. Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

GUILT. Ha. I have no guilt. And will read anything from G to E.

I do enjoy fuck-or-die fics. I love a well-written, non-mpreg A/B/O and will always give them a shot if I see any for my pairings. I've read some that are phenomenal and completely get away from the weird gender stereotypes aspect and dig into something new and interesting. It's an odd trope but it's not that different from most must-bang fics, they just have a lot more caretaking in the mix. The really successful ones make you forget the animal thing and let you focus on the characters, how they would believably behave if this were their weird reality.

I haven't written one but I started an attempt once. It was sheer comedy. I think that's the only way I can go with it. Recognize that this is a ludicrous way to live and focus on the logistics.

N. Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

OH MY GOD, I WANT PEOPLE TO WRITE ME ALL THE FICS. There's one I've been wanting that I think might be happening (I should check in on the writers) and another that I want someone to write for me so bad but it's so specific I don't see how...it's Even as a farm-to-table chef in Lofoten and Isak as a professor/researcher on sabbatical who winds up there in the winter. It's, you know, food and vistas and freeze. But also the slow coming together of two people in the off-season. I love romance in a slower setting, in isolation. Because that's what new love is to me: the excitement of getting to know someone for yourself, just you and them, with no interruptions.

Finishing my fics? I can't think of why anyone would want to fall into those vortexes. Save yourselves!

thank you for the questions, Raz! 💗

from this meme. ask me things.

[yukipri]

I wonder, for the mermaid au- what is kid's part to play with it all?

Alright, so on Eustass Kid in the Mermaid AU.

I thought about how best to answer this, and tbh, I’m going to say I unfortunately Don’t Know atm ^ ^; The AU parallels canon in a lot of ways, and while Kid has a growing role in Wano, he’s only appeared here and there up till then. And even IN Wano, up to the latest chapters, it’s a bit unclear how large a role he’ll play in the main storyline.

A few thoughts on the limited interactions we’ve had between him and Lu so far though:

-Kid is one of those who really, REALLY doesn’t give a flying fuck that Lu’s a girl and mermaid. He sees her as an equal and a rival, one he’ll have to shove out of his way so he can become Pirate King, the same as every single one of the other Supernovas. He does not treat her any differently from canon.

-As a result, they still absolutely bicker and compete over who can eat more and work harder at the Udon prison camp, while also being on the exact same wavelength to the point they can communicate nonverbally. And when nearby prisoners worry whether the pretty mermaid girl can handle the hard labor, Kid scoffs and says what a joke, she’d hardly be worthy of being his rival if she couldn’t handle a little rock smashing.

-But of course, even if Kid doesn’t see her as anything more or less than his equal pirate who’s gotten a step up on him by beating Doflamingo and pissing off Big Mom, that doesn’t mean others see her that way too.

-Kid’s not exactly the model of a pure moral compass and the thought of him acting as a white knight and Luffy being his damsel in distress gives him HIVES--But, when he hears prison guards making lewd comments about her, and mentioning maybe kneading some drugs into her dango, he does NOT take kindly to that. Straw Hat is HIS prey to beat up when they’re both at full strength, outsiders had better keep their fuckin’ meddling out of it!

-He is NOT concerned for Luffy or anything--Gross!--but perhaps, a few nights into their shared cell life, when he sees her teeth chattering in her sleep, looking a bit blue and curled into a tight ball in their shared stone cell...and perhaps, when he sees the prison guards leering at her exposed skin visible through her tattered kimono...perhaps he sits a little closer than is strictly necessary. So close, in fact, Straw Hat ends up underneath his fluffy feather cloak, pressed directly into his side, tucked under where his missing arm would have been. 

-Fuck, she really IS cold, is it a mer thing??

-Kid usually hates when someone other than Killer is close to his vulnerable side, especially when he’s got fuckin’ seastone cuffs on and can’t make himself a metal replacement arm. He tells himself this is really Weird and Uncomfortable, and that there’s certainly nothing Nice about having a definitely-not-really-actually-kinda-cute mermaid invading his personal space. Straw Hat is all muscle and scrawny limbs with bumps that are freakishly soft that Kid definitely doesn’t want to touch more, and her tail’s not at all slimy like he imagined and--Kid’s keeping his hand to himself. She’s also tiny compared to Kid, and looks misleadingly fragile, and Kid could easily scoop her up with his one hand to put her on his lap and he’d hardly feel a thing--Kid keeps his hand to himself.

-BUT, he’s not going to move either. This is HIS favorite spot in the stupid cell, he was here first, and if someone should move it’s gotta be Straw Hat, who has no right to look so comfortable smushed against someone as dangerous as Kid. Kid ain’t moving though, that would be losing, and he gives ground to no one. Kid nods at his own fine reasoning.

-And then morning comes and the prison guards come banging on their door to get them up to work, and Kid’s awake but doesn’t move until Luffy slowly emerges from his plumage like a tiny animal coming out from its burrow, rubbing her eyes and still definitely mostly out of it, her tail slowly unwinding from where it’d wrapped around Kid’s torso sometime during the night. Kid doesn’t miss its warmth. And then she blinks up at Kid, recognition sparking in her big eyes that are really awfully BIG now that Kid sees them at this hyper close range, what the fuck he can see all the flecks of brown and gold in them. But she doesn’t look particularly alarmed, not like she really should be in this situation, and instead just stretches and gently bumps her cheek against Kid’s chest with a quiet Mornin’ before sliding out of Kid’s cloak, like this is completely normal.

-Kid refuses to act disoriented while Luffy’s calm, because that sorta feels like losing. Losing what, he has no clue.

-They’re completely back to their usual during the day, and they both still eat dango until they look like fat hamsters. And Kid maybe notices fewer disgusting comments towards Luffy that day, and when he sees people looking at her and glares at them, they look away a lot faster than they did before. He doesn’t really care beyond thinking Good, the guards have actually begun to fear Kid like they should have from the beginning, until he overhears the guards who came to wake them that morning gossiping in a corner.

-Shit, they say. Turns out Straw Hat’s Eustass Kid’s woman.

-And Kid snorts because that’s both hilarious and outrageous, him and Straw Hat being together like that is absolutely absurd and disgusting--but hey, he’s a busy man. He’s not gonna go out of his way to correct the idiots, especially when it means less harassment directed at his oblivious rival. No, he doesn’t feel smug or satisfied, or a hint of a really weird, freaky warm feeling he doesn’t dare linger on. Nope.

-And at night they’re back in their cell, going to sleep in their respective Spots, and a few minutes later, Straw Hat’s snoring inside Kid’s cloak once more.

-(the thought crosses Kid’s mind that Straw Hat’s so casual about being snuggly because this is normal to her, and it actually bothers Kid a lot more than it has any right to. Maybe she actually does sleep next to someone every damn night? Is it her crew, like that fellow Supernova swordsman? Is it one of her brothers, that sadistic Revolutionary, or Portgas, who’s definitely somehow still alive and marines are stupid to think he’s not? Is it fuckin’ TRAFALGAR, the damn pirate who formed an alliance with her before Kid could???)

-(and when they’re out, maybe Killer notes that Kid’s eyes always seem to be tracking Luffy, and it’s not just heated rivalry in his gaze. Kid tells his partner to shut the fuck up and mind his own business, and then Killer cackles, his laughter genuine for once, and Kid can’t quite get himself to actually shut him up. No, he doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night missing a certain warmth at his side)

wow I didn’t mean to type all of that but it just sorta came out, did any of y’all come out of this shipping KidLu more than u thought, bc I sure did just typing this out LMAOOOOO

(Kid’s level of denial almost makes Law’s look cute. *insert Spiderman meme* Kid & Law pointing fingers at each other shouting YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH STRAW HAT--NO I’M NOT, YOU--NO HEY FUCK U--Meanwhile Killer’s in the bg laughing at them with Luffy on his lap)

(Also I know the 3 Supernovas Law x Luffy x Kid is a good OT3 and one I love as well, but may I also suggest Kid x Luffy x Killer as another wonderful OT3)

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

~This ask has been added to the Mermaid AU Text Headcanons Compilation post~

[amphii-writes]

Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together 

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t 

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi 

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone 

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED 

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared" 

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now" 

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh? 

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"

[seventhfracture]

i hope im not too late for the otp ask thingy, i wanna suggest 5, 6, 7, 13, 23, 34, 73 for lougosi :^)

For you? Never!

5 What do they like the most about each other? Unsurprisingly their favourite trait is the one they share; the ability to go all out when they want to succeed at something. Louis and Legosi won't hold back, won't feel a single hesitation, when they want to get something important done. That clever recklessness is something they share and its seen them through their big battles. They both see the trait as a fault in themselves but admire it in each other.

6 Who cleans the most? Contrary to that, who is the messiest? Legosi is used to tidying up after himself given his background. He's also just considerate like that. He doesn't want to take up too much real estate in the home. After a lifetime of maids and living with literal gangsters Louis is a mess. He doesn't compute he might have to pick anything up so he throws it everywhere. Even when they do have a maid Legosi refuses to just leave the house a disaster even when Louis insists he pays his staff good money to deal with his shit. Louis got a little better after having to play den mother to the Shishigumi but not much.

7 Who usually cooks? Neither of them can cook. They're both total culinary failures. Louis has just never really bothered to learn. It was always a little "below his station" and he never needed too. Besides, after the livestock ring literally feeding him gruel for the first 5 years of his life he doesn't have very homely memories of food. Actually his whole relationship with food is a disaster but Louis and his disordered eating are a topic for another day!

Legosi went from Grandpa's cooking to cafeteria cooking at Cherryton. He was a little too distracted with grief at the time he might've taken an interest in feeding himself. As a young adult he makes do with take out from his job most of the time. But as he gets older and food becomes more of a family/social even I imagine he'd start to take an interest in learning to nourish his loved ones if not himself. I imagine Riz would give him a few lessons when he's out of Juvie.

13 Who steals the blankets? Legosi has a thick, thick, coat. Both he and Louis are animals better suited to a cooler climate than some but Louis is a blanket bandit. Legosi doesn't mind. Half the time Legosi is the blanket! Louis says he doesn't mind being squished but Legosi suspects a couple of those antler to the face bonks he's received were intentional warnings. 23 What do they do when they're bored and together? With Legosi and Louis there's rarely a dull moment. They're busy people and they rarely take time to have a weekend at home. However idle hands do often lead to the big Horny. So if they've got an hour in between stuff with nothing to do you can bet the first idea will be to bang furiously. 34 What do they do when the other is stressed? Louis is underhanded when Legosi is fretful. Belly pats and fucking are his primary means of distraction but Legosi is also a talker, a monologue heavy wolf, so Louis is always willing to listen.

Louis isn't much of a talker when he's stressed. Louis is the kind of guy who won't rest until he's fixed the problem he sees. If something is broken he's got to hit it with a metaphorical hammer. But sometimes? Sometimes you can't do that. Which Louis hates. Legosi's first recourse is to become an active participant in helping Louis fix whatever's making him stressed but, failing that, the Shishigumi will funnel Louis cigarettes and liquor non stop while Legosi winces. 73 What do they usually text about? Legosi goes a chunk of canon without a phone but you can bet your ass Haru and Louis insist he gets ones eventually. Because its too dangerous to not be able to reach your vigilante wolf! So Louis pays the cell plan and Haru bought the phone so Legosi will feel bad about breaking/losing it.

Their texts start a little awkward. They're both used to having more inputs like body language and tone with each other and they dont want to misunderstand so they hesitate. This turns into Pictionary. They send each other photos of where they are, what they're doing, who they're with, what they're eating, then they send each other reaction gifs, memes, news articles...

Every now and again this stream of almost hieroglyphic texting will be broken with something like: [Where are you? I just saw the news.] Or [We've got a problem. Call me.] Or [My leg is hurting if you're doing something stupid I'll fucking kill you.] Or, most often, [I love you] before the texter does something stupid and reckless.