#its getting the knowledge right
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Actively recalling the personality of every 4 year old i've ever known to try to write a 4 year old.
#thank god i used to teach preschool#at least i wont be writing baby talk#its getting the knowledge right#like.#they need intense curiosity#awareness of SOME rules#grasp of language but not quite grammar#she's wylls kid#so she has morals#she just doesn't know how to apply them#the world is still black and white#greys are starting to form#but it's very#good guy vs bad guy#and since their running#most people are bad guy
1 note
·
View note
Text
Happy tdov to fat trans people. 🏳️⚧️ Biggest thing that helped me as a trans kid was seeing older fat trans people. There were a lot of really irritating "advice" posts going around early in my time on the internet with a lot of misinformation in them, but one that I constantly saw (in addition to people claiming you should wear your pants rediculously low or only wear button ups) were posts saying you had to lose weight to transition. Can confidently confirm that is completely untrue. 👍
#seal.txt#tdov#that 'sky and mike' image of the two old trans dudes hugging was one that I had saved to my phone as a trans teen#and i would look at it sometimes and just wonder how they had made it#idk its just nice knowing we live that long and its not a requirement to be skinnyin order to be respected and loved and get old#some of the old 'advice' posts i saw were really completely bizarre and a lot of them stick with me to this day in insecurities#this would have been 2016 ish tumblr so i know not that long ago but i would have been around 13 for reference#weird that i remember so many of the things i read back then. i could probably fill a post with things i was misinformed on due to Tumblr#specifically tumblrs run by people that i didnt really have the knowledge or awareness to understand probably didnt have my best interests#like 'trans rights ' blogs i would follow and not notice until much later were quite the opposite#this is the consequence of viewing social media before i knew all the secret codewords and my brain was much less developed than it is now
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
are we the sins we have committed? are we the things we have endured? [...] who are we?
[ref]
#iwtv#iwtv amc#interview with the vampire#loumand#louis de pointe du lac#vampterview#armand#louis#ldpdl#iwtv spoilers#mine#*24#its gonna be so joever soon its the eye of the hurricane rn#when u both are defined by your relationships to others and find a role and a purpose in them. the brother the lover the leader. OK.#if i have identity issues and YOU have identity issues... who's steering the relationship?? its still armand but at least they can pretend#sorryyy i'll stop posting abt this show soon. or at least for a little while. maybe. probably. add pensive face with its ass out emoji here#1 funny thing abt ep3 was that when they started talking abt good and evil i laughed out loud and said can we get fucking sartre in here#jesus christ. and then sartre was sitting right there and schooled them + told them to stfu. gagged me a bit ngl#also something something hell is other people we are trapped by others' perceptions of us their judgement enters our knowledge of ourselves#you get it. im gonna go build weird houses in ts4. goodbye
410 notes
·
View notes
Text
can the mtt commit more crimes that just murder please i know theyre the MURDER time trio but ppppleasse,,,, please,,,,,,
they'd be terrible to be next to on the highway. horror's going 160 mph amd has long past gone over the speed limit. dust's out for BLOOD and by blood i mean your tires. he's somehow sniping those round rubber wheels from the high moving vehicle with the precision of a master fruit ninja player. if your car explodes or flips over in the process that's not his fault. and then to make matters worse for everyone on the highway killer's in the backseat scratching up the doors and windows of your car with a knife everytime horror gets close to another car and oops he accidentally just disfigured your face also did i mention theyre all drunk during this
ok so theyve all got the classic face WHY DONT THEY ABUSE IT!!!! horror gets to do a little paper mache to cover up his head hole and then wearing glasses. killer i dont know what the FUCK he can do to get rid of his perpetual tears but let's just pretend that theyre conveniently gone for now. and then all dust has to do is put down his hood! anyways identity theft is cool. imagine how much they could totally fuck up classic's reputation with this. set up fake tinder profiles and then scam people for their credit card info/free dates (while ordering every expensive thing) and stealing wallets. walking into various grillby's's around the multiverse and telling terrible jokes. like ACTUALLY bad jokes. and then of course just being a huge piece of shit at the bar. god theres so many things they could do pretending to be classic. which one of us is hikaru looking ahh except the only difference between the three is the color of the stains on their clothes (either gray (dust) black (killer) or red. well faded red (horror))
ROBBERY!!!! ROBBERIES PLURAL!!!??? train robbery gas station robbery bank robbery GOVERNMENT robbery (what would you rob the government for?? documents??? idk) anyways. mtt robbing a train except its just a really shitty plan and they dont know jackshit about what theyre doing. killer's taken over the conductor's cabin and now he is booking it. how fast are trains allowed to go idk but the maximum. anyways meanwhile horror's on the tracks fucking up the rails with his strength or whatever (listen i know he's weak but picking and choosing what hcs i believe in is my art) and dust is there to teleport him away before the train crashes into him and turns him into a trolley problem victim. and then of course that shit doesnt fucking work and the train just ends up flipping over and catching on fire or something (killer survives because of course he does he's killer). and then in the end dust just has to flip the entire train over and they just stroll into the part that actually HAS the money
and then they go out and get ice cream. sometimes the murderers need to take a break from murdering and just do NORMAL crime yk???
#dragging this absolutely ancient draft out of the trenches because i've been having a scene in my head that fits this#i mean not REALLY related to this since its not a crime. more like him reckless abandon of life! their own lives! yeah they die#imagining.... trio driving around in the mountains. dust's driving ans horror's in the passenger and killer's in the back seat because he i#and dust just starts speeding up like...... much more than he really should be in the fucking mountains#and killer points it out and now all of a sudden horror is absolutely terrified LMAOOOO trying to get dust to slow down#and then they crash. but if there's no one more determined in the world killer can always load a save and theyre alive again#and dust is STILL speeding when they come back even with the knowledge that they die and horror's still terrified#but dust just tells him to calm down and loosen up a little bit!!! theyll come back afterwards anyways and they dont even die in pain#and after a few more deaths horrors just like. ugh. fine. you know what FINE ILL GO ALONG WITH IT#he says as he starts laughing along with dust because man!! the feeling of looking out at nature right before they die in a blaze of glory#is GREAT!!!! and then you know something something horrordust have trust in killer to bring them back after they all die#something something horror is willing to give up his usual reservations to have fun with the other two#and its so fun afterwards.... because nobody but them gets hurt!!! dust and horror wouldnt wanna hurt anyone after their au lore#and killer has no reason to in this scenario. so it all works out for them!! the only people getting hurt are them and lowkey they deservei#the sans in the au is probably sooo confused as to why the world is reloading even though theres no human doing so 💀 killer you GOOF#theyve probably all died so many times but only they remember it. soooo cute.... only they get to see each other at their weakest 💔💔💔#killer absolutely abuses the save point when theyre all together i just knowww ittttt sooooo well#he wants everything to continue not restart or go back??? ok but everything IS continuous with these two#not like they stay doing one thing over and over anyways so its not really perpetual. anyways dust and horror would get bored along with hi#if they just kept doing the exact same thing over and over trying to find every possible ending. nahhhh#triglycercule this is sooo unhealthy none of them would do this!! ok well they make each other worse who said it was ever gonna be healthy#screw EVERYONE in the violet banquet discord server who indulged me in my trio waltz dancing in a field of flowers at 3 am. brainrot now...#this scene i described in tags totally happened in my trio meet each other fic btw. just that it hasn't gotten to this point at ALL yet 💀💀#tricule rant#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Uh, just this please," Steve said, handing the CD to the guy behind the counter.
He gave Steve a weird look. "Are you sure you want this?"
Steve nodded, sweating. "Yup."
"You do know it's Ozzy Osbourne, right?" the guy said, looking for the price. He glanced up at Steve; striped polo shirt, perfect swiped hair, and all. "It's not Wham! or ABBA. That'll be fifteen."
Steve handed him a twenty. "It's for my friend. He likes Ozzy. But he prefers Dio, but I much prefer Ozzy than Dio. So I will be buying this one, so I get to listen to it with him rather than having to listen to Dio." He took the bag the guy gave him. "But honestly, Mötley Crüe is my jam."
"Yeah man," the guy just looked weirded out, "here's your receipt."
Steve gave him finger guns. "Coolio, man," he said, trying to be slick, but he ended up tripping on the way out of the store.
#steve just getting into alt music or more metal music and eddie introducing him to these bands and artists#and he still looks like season two steve because thats funny to think of#and he does research on all these bands even though there's not much out there seeing as these bands only formed like ten years prior#but either way he's doing research and whatever and listening to music eddie supplies him with but eddie wants the either the new#ozzy or dio cd so steve uses his knowledge of past listening classes and chooses ozzy but he then meets this guy who works at the store#this guy is like beoski are you buying the right thing? this is not queen. this is some metal music not madonna#and steves like i know its for my boyfriend i mean best friend i mean friend#and then says that motley crue is his jam and dies inside because holy fuck he said jam and thats not metal at all#stranger things#steve harrington#steddie#eddie munson#mötley crüe#ozzy osbourne#dio band#dio#metal music
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
gahdamn being in a fandom for close to ten years makes a bitch forget vital canon information
#like gahdamn i just want to write i don’t want to second guess the mechanics of basic fandom knowledge every three seconds#to be fair the main saturation of fandom content doesn’t contain a lot of the canon info either so it#there’s less density in how much of it you’ll see#i really should refresh myself but it is kinda hard to dig around#utmv#undertale#ut au#sans aus#i love fanon stories so much and i love using canon ideas but listen i need to at least include canonicity to some extent in writing#*like including fanon* not canon#(when i write) or i’ll tweak so hard#stupid things like ‘where does dust sans respawn when a reset occurs’ (its his sentry station despite it being depicted as his bed often)#‘is it ever addressed that horror sans literally seemed to blow up someones head psychically’?’ (not to my knowledge)#why is color sans not god status again (i don’t fucking remember if he is or not$#can killer sans actually utilize save and reloads (from my understanding he only can in a universe that relies on those mechanics??)#but how far is to far removed#does killer even summon red knife magic bcs i think that’s not canon right#i’m pretty sure he just uses a physical fucking knife right????#is it ever explicitly explained how much Defense a monster might gain when they LV up or gain EXP or did i make that up in my head#IT DOESNT MATTER BUT IT MATTERS TO ME💔💔💔💔💔💔💔#ramblings#i love the multiverse#i fucking love just undertale#don’t even get me started on deltarune mechanics i’ll go on for hours
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm once again thinking about the missed opportunities to have Klaus and Kol bond more. Part of Klaus' whole motivation as a vampire is to get his werewolf part back and to finally be stronger than Mikael (sort of, I'm simplifying) both of which can be obtained by breaking his curse. But Kol? Kol is the only other original that can relate to having a fundamental part of themself ripped away from them. Klaus might not have known he was a werewolf until he killed, but he likely still had a connection he couldn't explain, as evident by him going to watch the wolves transform. And something he'd never been able to explain was now gone. He might only be able to realise the connection afterwards through its absence.
Kol though. Kol had grown up with magic, a connection to nature and the world around him in a way the rest of his siblings supposedly didn't have. And then he gets turned. And not only has his baby brother died, his father has just murdered him and the rest of his siblings after forcing them to drink human blood, which he'll later learn. Now, not only does he have to deal with the grief of Henrik's death and also his own but also the loss of his magic. A loss that's likely only worsened by Kol being a self-proclaimed child prodigy.
Kol is pretty much the only one who could understand what Klaus is going through with the binding of his wolf. We know Kol searched for ways to get his magic back/carry on practicing magic in the same way that Klaus was looking for ways to break his curse. While Klaus likely could still feel his wolf there despite being bound, Kol has no access to his magic anymore. I just think they should've been able to bond or connect over their shared loss of an intrinsic aspect of their selves at the hands of their parents
#TVD#The Mikaelsons#Kol Mikaelson#Klaus Mikaelson#briefly back on my the originals shouldve gotten to be a family goddammit and as someone from a big family im personally offended bs#i did right a lil snippet about them bonding over this that i havent posted yet for the joml verse but still think its an unexplored concep#need more witch!kol acknowledgement honestly. just need more content of my boy#anyway. klaus having a fascination with the moon and kol telling him about celestial events and how it affects his magic when theyre boys#klaus losing that connection to the moon feeling lost & extra tempermental feeling his wolf claw at its binds and vowing to break his curse#kol determined to get his magic back at any cost relating to that devasting loss and promising to help him find a loophole for his curse#kol who becomes extra reckless and determined when he learns that theres a way to break klaus' curse so maybe he can get his magic back too#that knowledge and recklessness combined with his loss of magic driving him to become the volatile vampire that we see#that leads to him being daggered repeatedly but that first time breaks something in that bond between him & klaus that never fully recovers#it makes him bitter and resentful only fueling his reckless behaviour particularly when there seems to be no leads on reclaiming his magic#that he becomes distant from his siblings in the process especially with finn still daggered but that distance only cements the idea#to his siblings that hes a danger and cant be trusted that he needs to be daggered if theyre to stay safe from mikael#the loss of his magic leading to his spiral as a vampire and him being ostracised by his family > actual tvdu kol canon#klaus being trapped in a room staring at the corpse of his little brother knowing he never repaired that relationship with him#and now he never can so he refuses to look away as penance and a reminder of his failings to his little brother#*edit: one of the reblogs on this post is the author of big bad wolf and honestly she does an amazing job at portraying the mikaelsons#as actual siblings if you havent read it its one of my favourites for characterisations but we need more 😭 i want it to be the norm
74 notes
·
View notes
Text
finally finished my project of collecting voiceclaims that are as close as i can find for my hcs of the main HoO cast - just for funsies so it's not as perfect as I'd like but whatever, it was a neat exploration and exercise of me trying to think of literally any franchise for voice actors.
Leo got two cause I had trouble of finding good clips for the voiceclaim that's closers to my hcs for him (the second half of his section). Also got to play the fun game of digging through my art for decent doodles of each character.
Also fun fact, I am almost completely unfamiliar with 3 franchises in this video and was just digging for voice clips on youtube. Try to guess which ones.
#pjo#percy jackson#riordanverse#video#headcanon#headcanons#my art#jason also gets two but theyre the same so it doesnt count. and its mostly just cause silly. i had to.#and before anyone asks - ''is that Scaramouche's VA with Leo-?'' yes but i have zero genshin knowledge#and the voice he does for Scaramouche isnt quite what i have in mind for Leo#also 2nd fun fact i briefly considered Vash for Jason but then i realized. same VA as Lio#as hilarious as it would be to have Jason and Nico share a VA voiceclaim i will refrain#Piper's is a bit higher than i'd like but Michiru definitely has the right energy for what i imagine for her#when her voice dips lower that's a lot closer to what i imagine. the energy is close enough though that im fine with the pitch difference#Percy's is very amusing to me. like yeah no Percy has Haru energy. that works out great#normal Haru or abridged Haru? you decide#that is genuinely SUPER close to how i picture his voice though. everyone forgets Percy is a lil monotone and intimidating sometimes#let him be quiet and brooding but his internal monologue is just ''LIFE IS LIKE A HURRICANE~ HERE IN~ DUCKBURG~''#the voicelines in general are also just. so Percy. its so perfect im so pleased with that one#anyways. throws this into the ether#i might remake this if i can find closer voices - feel free to throw suggestions at me#also might try to make one for other characters if i can find good voiceclaims for them
58 notes
·
View notes
Note
this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail
sorry got in character for a second
Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though
congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)
#im still not far into nemesis personally but im very much enjoying it#honestly in a weird way it feels like it's moving faster than HD did. which. is funny bc nemesis is like The gated behind item grinds quest#idk. HD was a fun slowburn where we adventured around gathering our rogues gallery before the action kicked in#nemesis on the other hand feels like im picking up halfway through a batman serial#fallen london#ask#it's WAY more fucked up right off the bat than HD was. honestly ive thought abt red honey for ages. that's so fucked up#and we LEAD with that?? Okay#definitely a horrors-filled ambition befitting caeru (the guy who's constantly going through horrors)#it really encourages you to get fucked up and freaky and in ur character's headspace at basically every step along the way#i only have HD to compare it too but HD was like. a lot more interpretative in comparison? at least to me. that's what it felt like#and i adore HD for that dont get me wrong here#HD just also waited until like. halfway through before it asked what the scoundrel actually Wanted out of its heart's desire#nemesis in comparison is right off the bat who died? who are you mourning? anguish. justice. there must be vengeance.#it's a delightfully different vibe!! i like it!!!#oh god sorry anon im doing the classic yin talking way too much in the tags thing again#i havent had much excuse to talk abt nemesis and what i think of it so far and of course its rp effects on caeru#but i do have a handful of thoughts on it#it's good. im liking it so far. it's starting very strong if nothing else. and i have no spoiler knowledge of what happens in the future#beyond the choice between rewards at the very end#and im SO curious how we'll get to that point. what horrors will we adventure through next? off we go to find out!#it's biggest glaring weakness so far is how horrendously grindy it is. and like. ive been warned and done my research ahead of time#im doing it on the same account im seeking. i knew what i was getting into. but also gots damn.#in comparison HD's 5-card lodgings and dreamgate feel like footnotes#anyway while im already way too deep into rambling did you know the honey trip gives you fate?? insane. why does it do that. hilarious even
39 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hiiii not sure if anyone's asked this yet but any advice on how to improve on art & anatomy? I use to draw a lot wayyyy back in high school but then stopped because of life getting in the way but now I really wanted to get back into art but realized my art isn't as good as it use to be & I never really cared too much about studying anatomy so all my anatomy/proportions are really wack & I'd like to get better at it. Hope you're having a good day!!! 💞💞💞
HI!!! i dont have any formal training in anatomy nor have i really done any studies, so unfortunately i think i can only offer general advice, but hopefully you can still find it helpful! here's what i'd recommend based on my own experience...
focus on proportions BEFORE anatomy! nailing down the size/length of each body part in relation to each other will give you a good foundation before getting into the specifics of anatomy, since you can practice this with simple shapes (circles, boxes, tubes, etc.). then practice anatomy/build on top of that, rather than trying to figure them out in parallel
practice from real life observation/references (ex. figure drawing)! even if you want to draw stylized, it'll be much more helpful in the long run if you study from real life. you'll be a lot more informed in how body parts actually connect to each other or how they move. observe observe observe! take pics of yourself/watch how your body moves--you can be your own most accessible resource, and a mirror and camera can be your best friends
find a way to keep yourself motivated to practice anatomy! everyone says that you only get better with practice and time... and it's true! but i can understand that sometimes it's hard to motivate yourself. if you ask me, draw your favorite characters :) it's literally all i do HAHA. my mentality is that... if i'm drawing something that i like then the practice feels less of a chore lol
#sorry these are kind of vague T_T i dont have a ton of technical knowledge...#i draw mostly based on intuition formed by years and years of observation lol#which is why i would put the most emphasis on the second bullet point btw!#i think its the main reason why ive gotten to this point in drawing while being self taught#but also bc ive been drawing for a very long time too#also sorry this took me a couple of days to answer T_T it takes me a while to come up with a response to these types of questions#bc im not great at articulating my thoughts HAHA <- not a words person#but i'm really flattered to get an ask like this T_T i wish i could give better/more specific answers T_T#i think its awesome that you want to get back into drawing tho T_T it's inspiring me to keep practicing as well#i actually saw this ask right after i got back from watching look back over the weekend LMAOOO#I WAS SO DEEPLY MOVED...!!! HAVING ALREADY BEEN SO RAW WITH EMOTION#IM ROOTING FOR YOU ANON..........!!! DONT GIVE UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KEEP DRAWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
22 notes
·
View notes
Photo
If the rules are “Catch them all” ZEX already has a leg up (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#Pokemon#Stoutland#Arcanine#Tangela#Whismur#Larry#Kabu#I mean - of course right? I mentioned Stoutland as one of DAX's matches and Larry loves his Normal types - This Had to happen#And then the idea of how excitable Kabu and ZEX are and what conversations they could have about Pokemon and humans and just-#It all went downhill from there I really had no choice it just Needed to - so I did!#DAX doesn't really understand this whole Petting Large Dog business but it's not actively trying to eat him so that's a mark in its favour#Would he and Larry actually get along or would they brush up against each other wrong haha#DAX Very serious and work-oriented while Larry's just tired and quiet and wants to relax and eat and pet Pokemon#DAX is passionate in his own way but so blasé about humans and other aliens!#Larry something like a cat in that he doesn't really care so goes off to do his own thing - might be too alike to get along haha#I think Kabu and ZEX would get along really well though :D ZEX tries to make friends with so many people so that's not hard haha#And he would have an awful lot of ahem Learning to offer Kabu lol - but so would Kabu in turn! Pokemon knowledge!#Fascinating conversation to be had :) Maybe if they were forced on enough double dates DAX and Larry could get along pft#I almost definitely drew ZEX too short here - maybe he's hunched a little out of excitement lol#But Dexter and Larry would be about the same height wouldn't they! :0 Huh!#It was quite fun to draw Kabu's Arcanine so happy to be getting so many pets haha <3 Cute lad ♪#Finally following up on Alana's brilliant idea of VUX loving Tangela!! ♥ Zarla also mentioned VUX-Tangela vine/tendril communication and ahh#So lovely such fun <3 A specific kind of trainer-Pokemon understanding that can only be had between specific cultures! Yesss#And ending out with a Whismur hug <3 I can't help it those little guys need hugs ♥ No shrieking only gentle shushes and comfort
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Personally like to think when hanzo just joined overwatch he was very standoffish and whenever he'd join the conversation he'd say the most incredibly rude and out of pocket shit ever on of the basis of being blunt and true and get suprised when everyone gets silent and stares at him
#and its not bc hes autistic or blunt or anything hes just an unsocialized asscrack#imagine when genji introduced mercy to him he just “really? this is the girl you plan to wed...sheesh”#but really loudly thinking hes whispering and getting shocked when everyone hates him for a month.#“what yall say fuck me for” looking ass#overwatch#hanzo shimada#this and getting others nationality wrong even after they blatabtly told him 40 times#“oh yeah yeah china ik that already right” and hes talking to dva or some shit.#the shimada clan's education system is simply everything relating to the family history and it shows in hanzos knowledge teehee
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
Growing up in an extremely ultra religious, cult-like family was a mindfuck for multiple reasons but that doesn't stop unfortunately, even when you escape. For example, see: The overwhelming feeling of boiling hatred and shame for who you used to be.
The angry hatred for the past person I used to be, the version of myself that mindlessly parroted my family's beliefs and listened to their every command, constantly simmered under my skin and invaded my every thought. I was embarrassed of what I used to be- even as I made friends of different ethnicities and faiths, as I listened and explored new ideas and worlds that I never knew existed, as I started the first LGBTQ+ club at my school and volunteered with kids who deserved so much more- there was always a little voice in the back of my head.
"They would hate you if they knew what you were. They would hate the horrendous teachings that were seared into your mind, the things that you used to say and believe. You are nothing but a pretender."
And it is true that my beliefs were bigoted in all the worst ways. It is true that I believed truly heart-wrenching things without a second thought and judged others in such harsh and unfair ways. I told myself that there was no coming back from that, not really. There was nothing I could do to ever make up for it.
Then I remembered that the person who said those things wore velcro light up sneakers and collected finger puppets that the librarians handed out as awards for reading picture books. The person that held signs at pro-life rallies and anti-LGBTQ+ protests had a cherished sticker book and hunted minnows in the creek after school and adored their puffle on club penguin and was really into greek mythology and had skinned knees from climbing trees at recess and knew every Disney song by heart and was absolutely terrified of the dark.
That person was a child.
I was a child.
It took a really long time. Years and years of reflection and distance, but I've decided that I can't hate the past version of myself anymore. I feel pity and remorse, I feel anger- I feel so much fury and violent rage- at what my childhood was and I grieve what could- no, should- have been, but I no longer resent who I was.
I'm not ashamed.
I am so, so, so unbelievably proud of that little kid. For being brave enough to leave the comfort and safety of what I was told was right. For not being afraid to be wrong. For seeking out information and knowledge in a culture that praised ignorance. For questioning everything, relentlessly.
I am by no means a perfect person, I never have been and I never will, but I am proud of myself in every iteration that has ever existed because I know that I have never stopped trying to understand and learn and grow, and I never will.
If you have ever been in a similar situation and feel similar things, first of all: My condolences on your lost childhood. Second of all: Please be nice to that past version of yourself and recognize all the hard work they did to make you who you are today. That person was a survivor and an inspiration. They deserve nothing but love.
#started anti depressants recently. kinda had an epiphany. i can't hate who i was. if i met me now i wouldn't blame that tiny child#for their rancid beliefs or for being dragged to protests. because thats a CHILD. i HAVE met kids in that position and i feel nothing but#pity and anger on their behalf. so why am i holding that version of myself to a higher standard?#i could not have known what i know now at 6 or 8 or 10. the same way that i could not have written a college level essay at that age#but i did what i could. in my own 8 y/o way. i believed in love and humanity and happiness. i was just misguided in the 'hows' of it all#and i am so so so so so proud. of every single microscopic step that i took. every question i asked. every thought that i hid and protected#and pondered secretly at night until new ideas and doubts bloomed like a dandelion through the pavement#and I'm so proud that i chased that doubt. that i asked why why why why until their ears bled and their voices were raw#until their answers stopped adding up. until i sought knowledge elsewhere with a mind dehydrated and malnourished and begging for knowledge#in any form i could get. i just. if i could hug that kid? if i could right now reach out and give that terrified and lonely child a hug?#i would. a million times over.#anyway sorry for the intense personal rant I'm just going through it rn and I'm like.... actually feeling alright#its wild. did you guys know about this??? anti depressants make you NOT depressed??? shits insane fam#irl#personal
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about 4halo again and dying
they just. they used to be so sweet together. and then the election arc managed to genuinely turn them against each other (and bad is still affected by being caged in the museum) and i would NOT have been surprised if a rebellion had started within the next few weeks after their last fight and. they used to be friends and then they almost destroyed each other
and then the eggs went missing
and there are so many parallels between them, but one of the biggest parallels is how they're both protectors. they both protected the eggs (and, when he became president, forever extended that protection to the other islanders) but the eggs went missing and they had to put all of that aside. Forever was quicker to put it down than Bad was (it felt like only a very temporary truce, from Bad's end), but they put their problems on hold, because their eggs. were gone.
and another parallel. the destruction. both of them with their plans to cause ruin because then, maybe, theyll get their kids back. bad caused most of the grieving arc damage directly, and got aypierre and antoine to help him. he dug holes in the ground. he placed mines everywhere and leapt into them. he started the lavacasting process of the fed building (and was interrupted by admins, so he stopped, but philza and fit were still right to laugh at him lmaoo). he drilled a hole through the side of the federation office from a huge distance away. he has chosen to hurt his friends and himself to get the eggs back. whatever the cost.
forever destroyed the island. or he planned to destroy the island. or he was interrupted just before he destroyed the island or or or. I don't know. but it was big, and it was bad. bad enough that the feds had to step in and forcefully drug him, and kickstart the happy pills arc.
and the happy pills arc..... oughghghgh as fucking awful as it was for their characters to experience i genuinely truly think that it saved them from each other. when he was first told about forever being fucked up bad was still in the "i need to kick his butt" mindset, and was all ready for an excuse to kill forever. and then he saw forever. and the first proposal happened. and bad was angry and he was sad and upset and he was careful. forever tried to kill him. bad decided to save him. forever kept trying to marry him. forever kept taking the pills. forever was so scared of his own anger and all of the damage he could and would have caused to his family that he kept taking drugs that kept him so out of his mind he hallucinated his son was just sleeping safely at his house.
and they both tried to kill each other. and they both failed.
and bad showed phil and cellbit (and tubbo) the item scanner that dapper discovered, which could destroy him, because nothing else was working. because they needed to save forever. because bad was reminded by then that forever was a victim of the federation instead of just a mouthpiece for it. and then when forever woke up he saw bad, suffering, and so excited to see him awake.
and now they're here on opposite sides again with forever projecting his protection urges onto the fed worker in bad's basement and bad frustrated that he isn't being believed and his evil plans of giving ron lemons apology brownies is being interrupted and. look at them. soft "i hate you" and the appreciation room and bad's quiet heartbreak when he learned about forever being missing and the "i miss you" book bad got mad at because it asked him not to torture fed workers. does anyone hear me im so ill about them. do you understand they care about each other so much and the happy pills arc reminded them of that. forever realized bad is colourblind and bad assumed forever was poisoning him and then forever helped bad cheat on another colourblindness test and forever was giving bad flowers and bad was accepting them and accepted that he was colourblind despite his previously constant denial and! i don't know if im being comprehensible and i dont really care i will be honest i just need you to know i am frothing at the mouth like a rabid little beast. they are a TRAGEDY of miscommunication and external pressure but they love so so much. platonic or romantic or qpp they CARE and it tears me to shreds
#qsmp#4halo#i feel like ive talked about this exact thing like three separate times but#its one of those things that really Kills Me#and its CRUCIAL to understanding them and their relationship#they were fighting and now have found peace in hell#and forever using his care for bad as a distraction to not focus on his Own woes#and the way he's so sure bad needs help the way he was helped that at heart bad is a good person who doesnt want to be hurting people#and in a Way he's right. bad doesn't want to hurt his loved ones. everyone else? yeah. in a heartbeat. but his family...#but he's still makign the choice to do it. it's not lashign out in desperation the way forever destroying the island was#bad is hurting people with Purpose. he's putting thought into it. he's testing people and their knowledge and their motivations and he will#use them all as tools that can be bent and broken if it means they get the eggs back. he'll do it to himself too#especially to himself#ghhhgrhrgh the way theyre both self sacrificial and self destructive the Parallels the fucking parallels#i can best examine their relationship from a bbh pov and it agonizes me because i can't get all the nuance of forever's pov#because i dont speak portuguese yet :c#so best i can do is talk crazy about them like a Lure for other analyst shippers#pspspssps dont you see my ship. dont you see how canon 4halo is !!! in 8 acts#dont you want to examine them and their parallels and the way they are both so strange about relationships but they're finding a way to car#in a way that works for them#pspspsps#like me talking about qbbh vacation arc got the fandom acknowledging his sillies and directly got me a friend to talk about him to (hi kia!#maybe it will work here also#come to the dark side we have complex relationship dynamics that are frequently misunderstood and mislabelled#YOU can help change the world
110 notes
·
View notes
Text
Armand using his powers to sway Daniel towards accepting death only for Louis to do the opposite so Daniel will not only survive, but LIVE…..curious to see if this ends up reversed at the end of the season.
#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#i don’t have any special knowledge but this show does love reversing its relationship dynamics#and with daniel feeling better about and closer to louis only to receive the warning about him…#yeah i’m curious to see how this all pans out for this little fucked up trio#i think daniel’s gonna get too comfortable with the strength of the alliance#because even though louis and daniel have actually reached an accord and a kind of friendship#the volatile power of the memories to come is like a nuclear reactor about to blow#and daniel is right in the blast radius#i don’t WANT to believe louis would abandon or manipulate daniel against armand#because i am very invested in their friendship#but i’m not ruling anything out#louis de pointe du lac#daniel molloy#armand
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
on main, i talk a lot about how the pokemon anime is in a weird spot culturally, where the bulk of the discussion around it actually comes from people who haven’t actually seen the show in years. and that results in those people trying to lecture the fans who still keep up with it what their own lore is like, which is often based on misinformation they saw on twitter. (see: kiana mai constantly getting asks accusing her of shipping a teenager with an adult because they think jessie and james are 15 based on one tumblr post that’s based on a dub line that doesn’t even prove their age, when it’s blatantly obvious to anyone who’s seen the show that jessie and james are adults)
i feel like warrior cats is in that same spot, except it’s not exactly people talking about misremembered nostalgia, it’s people who haven’t read the books to begin with trying to lecture one another about it’s contents (see: literally any fandom discussion around dawn of the clans)
#dotc having this legacy as ‘’the objectively best one’’ while statistically being the series that the LEAST amount of fans have actually re#read is so depressingly funny to me#at one point i was like ‘’damn did everyone get their dotc knowledge from the always gold map?’’#and i rolled with that bc it matched what a lot of people were saying#AND THEN SOMEONE ON THE MOONKITTI BUMBLE VID LITERALLY SAID THAT THEY BASED ALL THEIR DOTC OPINIONS OFF THAT MAP#LIKE. HOLY SHIT I WAS RIGHT!!!!#(no hate to that map btw its a very beautifully done project. it was so good that it convinced people that dotc was good)
14 notes
·
View notes